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Quaraun loses control of his magic powers when his emotions are on edge. Unfortunately for those around him, the world's most powerful wizard, has very little control over the powers he possesses. When Quaraun gets mad, people die and he doesn't always know it.
Back at The Mournful Lamb Inn (Volume 8, Into The Swamp of Death) a random stranger arrived accusing Quaraun of making killed all the Katopas, but he had no knowledge of doing so.
Quaraun has had a very bad year. Nearly killed by a Lich (Vol 7. Vulgar Alchemist's Inn), only to nearly die weeks later in a suicide attempt (Vol. 8 Into The Swamp of Death), just to be gunned down by time travelling Humans the moment he recovers (Vol. 9 City of The Screaming Statues). Quaraun is desperately in need of rest.
Not fully recovered from his injuries, but plagued with nightmares about Katopas, Quaraun decides to return to the Valley of the Katopas, to find out what happened to the Katopas.
There is no rest for the Pink Necromancer in the valley of the dead.
Quaraun loses control of his magic powers when his emotions are on edge. Unfortunately for those around him, the world's most powerful wizard, has very little control over the powers he possesses. When Quaraun gets mad, people die and he doesn't always know it.
Back at The Mournful Lamb Inn (Volume 8, Into The Swamp of Death) a random stranger arrived accusing Quaraun of making killed all the Katopas, but he had no knowledge of doing so.
Quaraun has had a very bad year. Nearly killed by a Lich (Vol 7. Vulgar Alchemist's Inn), only to nearly die weeks later in a suicide attempt (Vol. 8 Into The Swamp of Death), just to be gunned down by time travelling Humans the moment he recovers (Vol. 9 City of The Screaming Statues). Quaraun is desperately in need of rest.
Not fully recovered from his injuries, but plagued with nightmares about Katopas, Quaraun decides to return to the Valley of the Katopas, to find out what happened to the Katopas.
There is no rest for the Pink Necromancer in the valley of the dead.
Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.
The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.
Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.
These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.
Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.
Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.
Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.
ZooLock the Great |
Characters: |
Culture: |
Magic: |
The World: |
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: First draft/sample chapters from the novels.
NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.
The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house. The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following:
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The Quaraun series has been banned by the following:The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church (1991) (Reason: too much sex) (Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014) The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine (2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan) New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine (2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014) Fan-Fiction.net (2012) (Reason: Too violent) Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine (2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint) Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government (January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574) (Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents) NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".) Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban. |
Do you agree? #reading #quote pic.twitter.com/t3VjaM6UE7
— Janneke Jobsis-Brown (@JJobsisBrown) March 1, 2018
Volume 13: King Gwallmaiic, The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley |
Volume 00: 000000
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 24: The Dread Chant of the Fan Boys |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 23: The Return To Fire Mountain Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 31: The Crystal Palace of Mt. Demontooth Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive Volume 00: 000000 106: The Haunted Lighthouse |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 108: Friends Are Forever (Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series) |
Volume 119: My Two Favorite People
Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.
Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn, Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.
With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].
Reader discretion is advised.
Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?
Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.
April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing.
October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html
If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.
I'm an author. This is an author home page. It's about me, my life, my books, my hobbies, my home town, and anything else that applies to me and my life.
Since starting my writing career in 1978, I have written 130+ novels, 2,000+ short stories, 6,000+ non-fiction articles (ALL are found on this site), a few dozen stage plays, 12,000+ blog posts, and a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck (I only worked for Disney one year (in 2005) and only wrote a few stories for their Danish comic books).
NOTE: I ONLY write the Quaraun series (aka The Twighlight Manor series aka The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane). In recent years there has been an issue with impersonators trying to pass books off as written by me, notably several non-fiction and Erotica books. I write neither nonfiction nor Erotica.
ALL of my books and their cover arts are listed on my website here. Beware of any books you find claiming to be me. If the books are NOT listed here on my website, they are NOT my books.
In fiction works, I specialize in Weird/Bizarro Tales set in 40th century CyberPunk-Quasi Medieval, Cozy Dark Fantasy and Science Fiction worlds featuring an intersex Elf and his Faerie husband main characters. I DO NOT WRITE ANY OTHER SERIES - THIS SERIES IS THE ONLY ONE I WRITE.
Non-fiction (found ONLY here on my site) is daily updates of events in my life, and how-tos on how I write my novels.
I DO NOT write Erotica.
I DO NOT write books with HUMAN characters.
The Erotica books and books with Human characters, that you are finding, are written by scammers trying to impersonate me.
There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter. If you find any such books, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322
146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.
And I'm sick of real estate agents who are too incompetent to research land ownership before they show up to stick a for sale sign in my yard.
The fact of the matter is, my son was murdered in 2013, and the friends and family of the murderer think it is funny to keep ILLEGALLY listing my land for sale, because apparently their child murdering bitch friend didn't hurt me enough by crippling me with a golf club, ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and beating his brains out on the ground with a golf club.
Also, her friends and family like to gaslight me by doxing me on ufo and alien abduction forums, while pretending to be me, and trying to make it look like I believe in ufos or aliens, even though I think people who believe in ufos are raving lunatics and people who claim to be alien abductees are crazy.
So, yeah, my son was murdered and the murder's friends and family endlessly harass me, my friends, and my family both online and offline, and I'm not happy with it at all.
There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter.
The FBI is looking for information into:
I'm going to repeat it because I'm tired of people showing up and making offers:
146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.
Another aspect of the FBI investigation, for which the FBI is seeking information, is the apparent "fundraiser scam" being done by someone very local, at multiple churches in the Saco/Arundel/Biddeford area. I found out about it when a woman, claiming to be from The Saco Ward Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, marched up to me one day and said:
--"My name is Ester Rhodes, what ever became of the ten thousand dollars I gave you? You never rebuilt your house. Where did my money go?"
I had never seen the woman before, nor had I ever heard her name before and no one has ever given me any money at all, not even pennies, let alone a massive amount like $10k, so I was left baffled and confused by this woman. an elderly woman, maybe around 80 years old.
I had no knowledge of any such fundraiser - I am STILL homeless, now in 2025, as a result of the 2013 backhoe driving over my house, and had anyone given me money to rebuild I certainly would have as I am in desperate need of a house, as being homeless has contributed to my progressively worsening health. But I had never known of this fundraiser, I never authorized or created any fundraisers, and no one has ever given me any money. So had this Easter Rhodes woman not contacted me, I never would have known there was a fundraiser or that people had tried to help me.
Because... NO ONE has EVER helped me AT ALL, and so I'm shocked to learn that, wow, there actually where some people out there who tried to help and I never knew about it because instead of helping me directly they decided to indirectly help through some fundraiser I never heard of that turned out to be a scam that stole their money and never helped me at all.
I asked her what she was talking about and she explained that a "young man in his 30s" had approached her one Sunday during church services at The Saco ward Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, and told her he was part of the fundraiser to rebuild my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, after the crazy lunatic with a backhoe drove over it August 8, 2013.
She further went on to say she gave the man $10k because he told her I was a member of the Saco ward church. Thing is, I am NOT a member of that church and have never attended that church. I am a member of the CAPE ELIZABETH Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a church with a similar name but it a 2 hour drive away from the church she was talking about and claimed she attended.
I have no clue who this Easter rhodes woman is or if her story is true. The FBI is seeking information about Esther Rhodes woman, the fundraiser her Saco ward Church claimed it was doing in my name, or any one who might have been doing the fundraiser.
If you or anyone you know gave money to this fundraiser, you are asked to contact the FBI and tell them how you were contacted, who contacted you, how much money you gave them, and also, to contact a lawyer to try to help you trace the scammer who stole your money and get your money back.
As of yet, the FBI has found multiple people claiming to have given money TO THE BISHOPIRIC of the Saco Ward Church for said fund raiser, over a period between 2013 and 2019. It is believed that a former Bishop and two of his counselors are behind the scam, and used the money to build an $eight million dollar mansion in Old Orchard Beach, now known to belong to one of the three suspects, even though none of the three of them has an income of more then twenty thousand dollars a year. The FBI recently confiscated the mansion which is now for sale and the money from the sale is to be returned to the people who donated it to the scam fundraiser, providing the people can prove they were the ones who donated the money.
If you were part of the fundraiser, that in 2013-ish was claiming to be raising money for me, please contact the FBI agent in charge of my son's murder investigation, and give him the details.
I know nothing about it, so it is useless for you to contact me (a few people have done so already and, I was clueless as to what they were even talking about - they contacted me asking how they could get their "cut of the money from the $8million house sale" and that was the first I heard of it. The FBI never said anything to me about it, so I don't know where the people contacting me are getting the info that the FBI confiscated the $8million mansion and is given the money back to people... like I said, I had no knowledge of any such fundraiser at all, and I don't know what this $8million house is people are asking about either, so you really need to contact the FBI about it not me, as I'm not involved in any such fundraiser or at all.
It is important to note here that it is NOT the FBI who has informed me about this fundraiser or the $8million mansion, but rather it is a plethora of locals around Biddeford, Saco, Old Orchard Beach, and Arundel coming up to me and asking me how are they supposed to get their money back from the sale of some $8million mansion, and I have no information on this at all because i don't even know what the $8million house is that they are even talking about.
The FBI is looking into Esther Rhodes and her claims of having given me $10k via a fundraiser, and the FBI confirmed a former Bishop was connected and being looked into... and that is the only part the FBI told me of. The rest of the fundraiser stuff about the confiscated $8million mansion is stuff coming from people claiming they saw "news reports" about it and are coming to me trying to get their "cut"... and is some sort of wild rumour that is recently circulating, which I don't know the source of.... and also shows me that people want to help if they think they can get money out of it, but also shows me that they don't give a fucking rats ass about finding my son's murderer.
How did you build your audience?
Not online, that's for sure.
aka How to sell ten million books
aka How I sold ten million books.
The Park Bench Method of Writing
(just the article)
or
The Park Bench Method of Writing
(with the list of 10k writing prompts - takes a LONG TIME to load - SEVERAL MINUTES!)
I Think UFO and Alien Believers Are Weird Here's Why...
Does every writer have to deal with this shit?
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