Update: November 7, 2022
This week we should be celebrating the 9th birthday of my son.
Instead we are celebrating the 9th anniversary since his murder.
If you have any information, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322
ask for Agent Andy Drewer.
November 14, 2013 10PM @ Southern Maine Community College Art Studio Bug-Light Parking Lot: 3 strangers armed with golf clubs, attacked me from behind while I was loading bags into the backseat of my car. They were a blond woman 60s-ish whom the others called "Claire", a natural red-haired woman also 60sish who called herself "Kendra", and a bald man, football player-body-type-build in his 30sish. I was 8 months pregnant. They murdered my baby, ruptured 3 discs in my spine, shattered 3 vertebra, broke my pelvis, hips, and knees. I was paralyzed for 5 months and was 18 months relearning to walk. The nerve damage has left me with limited use of my hands, legs, bladder, and intestines.
On top of that, they have also taken to harassing the baby's father, a disfigured, homeless, WW2 veteran, whom they call "Etoile". They spread hateful rumours about him claiming he is a cryptid, a demon, or most often what they term "an amphibious alien". He lives in pine branch lean-toos he builds in Old Orchard Beach and Ocean Park, and they have been hunting the locations of them, tearing them down, and smashing up his belongings.
April 10, 2015 1PM at 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach Maine a gang of estimated 74 people, some of them wearing ku klux klan robes, invaded my farm, used a Blow Brothers sewage truck to pump 500+gallons of sewage into my motorhome flooding it to over the kitchen counters deep, ripped out all the cabinets and built in furniture, while 14 men armed with guns, held my family down on the ice and snow, with guns to our heads, and used cinder block bricks and a metal pole with metal wire loops to beat and behead 10 of my 12 foster children (the youngest age 4, the oldest age 16). May 15, 2015 they returned and nailed their heads to my front door. The 3 people of the November 14, 2013 attack were among the group.
September 12, 2015, 9AM a dozen+ of these same people arrived again in my driveway at 146, this time chanting: "Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach. Kill of be killed. Remember Saco Shaw's, Transgender Murder Store, kill the transvestites before they kill us all", one white haired man in a dark green pick up truck was leading the herd, while waving a rifle over his head and shooting at me and my pink motorhome, he shot several holes through my neighbour's shed. The crowd was accusing me of being a male-to-female "transgender terrorist" (they thought I was Muslim because I wear Catholic veiling).
June 26, 2016, the same 2 women of the first 2 attacks, arrived at my Scarborough WalMart workplace, and in a near repeat of the first attack, again while I was leaned over the back seat of my car putting bags in, this time they attacked with a chopping cart, re-injuring my spine, hip, and pelvis that was not yet fully healed from the first attack. The blond "Claire" woman was screaming "That's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband!" while the redhead screamed "I'm Kendra Silvermander it's my turn the shine!" They sped away in a early2000s-vintage gold Volvo SUV station wagon. This attack left me permanently crippled, and bedridden from 2016 until May 2022.
November 21, 2021: They shot "Etiole" in Biddeford, while he was staying at the tent-shanty-village with about 50 other homeless people along the Saco River in Biddeford. They made the claim he was a "suicide demon" citing that he was driving locals to suicide by putting "evil eye curses" on them.
These people murdered my baby, attempted to murder the baby's father, drove a backhoe over our house, and left me crippled for the rest of my life in their attempt to murder me.
I do not know who these people are. I never saw them before these attacks, and I've not seen them outside of these attacks. The police and FBI believe I was not the intended target, and that they were likely after my mother because of posts she makes on FaceBook and got us mixed up. The Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford Police and the FBI are seeking information leading to their identity and arrest.
These people who show up to vandalize, while they scream about aliens and demons and Etiole, prove how retarded they are by their own words.
Why?
Because only a retarded person believes in aliens.
Because only a retarded person believes in ufos.
Because only a retarded person believes in demons.
Because only a retarded person believes in ghosts.
Because only a retarded person believes in haunted cars.
Because only a retarded person believes in demon possessed cars.
Because only a retarded person believes in alien abduction.
The inbred insect locals of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine are too damned retarded to know how much of a fool they make themselves look when they run around calling my cars demon possessed, calling my husband an alien, and calling me an alien abductee.
More Info @ eelkat.com
Long detailed info on the over 200 attacks they have done between June 2001 and May 2022, including photos of them driving a backhoe over our house on August 8, 2013 and the details of the malicious "amphibious alien" rumour they have been spreading about a local homeless disabled veteran @
https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html
Images:
July 4th 2013: my car in front of my house.
August 8, 2013: me getting home from work to find a backhoe sitting on top of my house.
The FBI already found the people with the backhoe incident, and learned that the backhoe driver was paid $600 and given a fake demolition paper, the paper stating one of my relatives (the one who paid him the $600) owned my land. The backhoe driver was unaware that the man he was dealing with was not the owner. I have lived at 146 Portland Ave since 1975 and have owned the land since 1983, it has never been owned by anyone else, even though we have now learned that both my mother and my father and 3 of my uncles had been actively going around Old Orchard Beach claiming they owned my land.
This happened 3 months before my son was murdered and the police and FBI believe my son was murdered BECAUSE of this picture being posted on FaceBook, and my mother making inciting/inflammatory posts about it on HER FaceBook, where she falsely accused me of being a witch. The FBI and OOB police believe the golf club wielding woman of November 14, 2013, is somehow connected to the backhoe driving over my house incident.
Since the murder, 3 other different backhoes have invading my land to dig up my yard, looking for the grave of my son. There is a family cemetery on my land, the stones dating mostly in the 1500s and 1600s, with a few from the past hundred years, the most recent being my son in 2013. 146 Portland Ave has belonged to my family since 1530, and I inherited it in 1983 from my grandmother Helen Ricker Allen. The most recent backhoe attack happened September 19, 2020, when they illegally cut down several trees in my yard, and started construction of a road through my yard between my pink 1975 Dodge Sportsman motorhome and BackElder Brooke, again the backhoe digging up and destroying large portions of my farm, in their search for my murdered son's grave. They dug up 16 of the graves in this attack.
We have had to remove the grave markers from the family grave in order to stop these vandals and their illegally trespassing construction equipment from destroying the graves.
The FBI believes these construction crews are being hired by the golf club wielding women, and believe she is trying to destroy the grave of my son, due to a fear of his golf club smashed skull being used as court evidence against her.
The most recent attacks by these people occurred November 21, 2021 and March 27, 2022 when they attacked my painted Volvo while it was parked at my dad's apartment in Biddeford, both times the vandals also cut all the wires to electricity, internet, and cable off the apartment building, effecting all 9 families living there.
The Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford Police Departments as well as the Portland FBI are seeking any information regarding any and all of these attacks on my family, my home, my land, or my cars.
If you have any information, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322
ask for Agent Andy Drewer.
And no... to those who asked... the FBI is not looking for info on the 4-door white truck driver... the FBI has ALREADY ARRESTED the driver and owner of the 4-door white truck - 2 different people. The 4-door white truck was owned by Old Orchard Beach Town Hall clerk and Old Orchard Beach Police Department Dispather Kathy Smith, Relief Society President of the Saco Ward of the Agusta Stake Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Her son was the driver. They were both arrested and sentenced in 2017, and were also both excommunicated from the Mormon church as a result of their MANY hate crimes, which included but were not limited to the 4 door white truck attacks of 2013 to 2016.
Yes. A LOT of arrests have already been made. Do keep in mind the April 10, 2015 attack involved 74 people who were wearing Ku Klux Klan style white robes and pillow cases over their heads (which is how you can tell they were not real, actual Ku Klux Klan members as the REAL Ku Klux Klan wear miters on their heads, NOT pillow cases). There are in total MORE THEN 74 people actively being hunted down by twenty-one different Maine police departments, the Maine state police, the Florida State police, the Connecticut State police, and the FBI.
Since the backhoe attack of August 8, 2013, there have been a whooping 24 arrests JUST IN TWO CHURCHES:
The Saco Ward of the Augusta Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
and
The Sanford Ward of the Exeter Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints.
There have been additional arrests at the following three churches which all have the same owner:
Grace Point in Biddeford
New Life (aka That Church in front of WalMart) in Biddeford
and
Curtis Lake Church in Sanford
Due to the alarmingly high rate of arrests and prison sentences made at these 5 churches, the police and FBI have focused the bulk of their investigation on all members of these five congregations, with the bulk of the investigation being on the two Mormon churches and all friends, family, and relatives of the members of those five churches, as it is believed that ALL people involved in the murder and 20+ years of harassment of my family, are all members of these 5 churches and or friends, family, and relatives of these five churches.
To date, 64 of the 74 suspected white hood wearers of April 10, 2015, have commit suidice, four of which when killing themselves, also killed 5 or more members of their families with them at the same time. One of them was Old Orchard Beach Police officer Bruce Savoy, who killed his entire family and then himself.
The police and FBI believe there is a suicide pact between the 74 attackers who arrived April 10, 2015 on my farm at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine... as 64 of them have now commit suicide, between 2015 and 2023.
Additionally, Agent Andy Drewer was NOT the original FBI agent heading the case. Laura was. FBI agent Laura was murdered February 6, 2021, during her attempt to arrest a murder suspect who was in Florida at the time he murdered her. So in addition to murdering my son, these people have now also murdered an FBI agent.
People around local, seem to forget that what happened April 10, 2015, was not some local hick beating up one person... this was a large PREMEDITATIED ORGANIZED EVENT which drew in a CROWD of WELL OVER ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE to activly participate in beating to deth and beheading ten children, the oldest being aged 16 and the youngest being aged just 4 years old.
What the people of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine did was monstrous on levels of extreemes.
And then when the FBI agents tried to arrest these people, they ganged up again on February 6, 2021 and murdered, not one, but THREE FBI agents.
This is an organized terrorist group that is activly killing people here in Maine.... and this Claire woman that murdered my baby, the one the FBI believes is the ring leader who has been organizing these events.... and when I say events... I was NOT the first family attacked.
According to the FBI, the April 10, 2015 attack was the ELEVENTH such attack to happen on Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine since June 2001.
And since the April 10, 2015 attack on my family, this VERY LARGE hate group has repeated this even seven more times, to seven more families all on just one street, all on Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine... in total, this extremist fanatical Christian hate group has murdered more then 120 CHILDREN, just on our one street alone.
And in every case, the grand of white hood wearers was chanting the same mantra: "Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach, kill or be killed, remember Saco Shaws".
This terrorist group is murdering anyone on Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, whom they believe of being gay or transgender, whether or not they are gay or transgender.
These people are beyond evil. And this Claire woman is their leader, and she's the one the FBI wants.
If you have any information, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322
ask for Agent Andy Drewer.
Update: February 12, 2023
I have a weird text message… from the woman, a relative who looks enough like me to pass for my twin…from the women, who keeps pretending to be me, the one who lat Aprile pretended to be me and tried to sell my land, the one who in 2007 pretended to be me and hired a guy with a backhoe to dig holes in my land under the guise of putting in a septic system that I never ordered… the woman who in 2013 hired the same back hoe to drive over my house…
the woman the FBI suspects of being the one who hired the golf club woman also in 2013 to cripple me nd murder my baby… the same woman who was in my yard April 10, 2015 again pretending to be me when she locked her cats in my motorhome, the same woman who took out 27 credit cards in my name and ran them each up to $20k max, me, who’s never had a credit card in my life because I can’t count or do math so also can’t do money or numbers, …. The same woman who creates several online accounts pretending to be me on those… that woman… just sent me a text message, wants me to go with her to Bug Light lighthouse tomorrow…
Uhm… Bug Light lighthouse art studio is where I was November 14, 2013, when the Claire and Kendra women broke my spine with a gold club… so, why does this woman who has a 50 year history of impersonating me… the woman who convinced half of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford that she owned my land, and has half the locals convinced that SHE and not ME, is me… she, suddenly wants me to met with her at the exact location where the blond Claire and red haired Kendra women - whom the FBI are still trying to find out the identity of - crippled me 9 years ago… and she won’t tell me why.
Well, at the moment I am recovering from, a broken pelvis, so, I can’t get out of bed, I haven’t been able to get out of bed since December, it’s not February. So, even if I would meet up with her, which I wouldn’t, right now, I can’t anyways.
She’s an Atwater… yes, the sister of Bruce Atwater… you remember him, he’s the one who was a member of Heaven’s Gate, and is so obsessed with aliens, that he and her, she helped him by pretending to be me, yet again… went around with the whole “amphibious aliens” rumors, making the claim I was abducted by aliens, calling my husband Ben Wildes, an aliens, dubbing him Etiole… he is by the way, the guy you see walking my dog with me in Biddeford… so, yeah you locals have met and talked to “Etiole” quite frequently, he attends the Saco Ward Church or Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and spent 48 years as the High Preist Quarum Leader of the Sandford Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of atter Day saists, he left the Mormon church in May 2015, after our children were murdered… thhey were kidnapped April 10, 2015, the same day the impersonator bitch locked her ten cats in my motorhome and tried to pretend they were mine, called the police, the police, Will Watson specifically, took her cats, and did not arrest me, because, they weren’t my cats… then she spent the past 9 years running around saying they were my cats and because it happened the same day, she also tries to convince people that mychildren never existed and that her cats are my children… what the fuck? She’s a raving lunatic.
She’s the one who who runs around screaming “Mark and Dan this and Mark and Dan that” and I don’t know who the fuck her Mark or her Dan are, however, the psychotic gun totoing white haired man with a green pickup truck, regularly arrives in my driveway to yell at me a, claiming he’s Mark, while saying I’m deframing him, and I don’t know who the hell he is… but apparently, he’s the Mark she keeps talking about, and she’s fighting with him while claiming to be me, so now, he’s mad at me because of something she said, but I don’t even know who the hell he is or what he’s talking about.
This is the same woman who ran around cutting the internet and electric wires off my Biddeford apartment building in 2021, while screaming about Tod Murphy, and I still don’t know who Todd Muruphrey is yet… except she and her friends claim he was hit by an Amtrak train Nov 21, 2021 at 10PM, and you can check the police records, no one was hit by a train that day… However, as you all saw on my dog walking livestream on Nov 19, 2021 at 6:27pm, 4 women on bikes chased a homeless man on the the freight train tracks a quarter mile away from the Amtrak train tracks… I have it on video and I’m the one who called the police. Apparently, that’s the train accident she was talking about, be she had all the dates and times and names wrong, AND, for a full 8 months after that, I had to deal with her Atwater hoodlums and their friend vandalizing my car… they did more then $10k in damages, which yes, that why I don’t have my car again, in case you hadn’t noticed a 40 year old antique car is rather difficult to find parts for.
This woman… the one who does all of these things… oh yeah, by the way, you remember the woman who cut my 1964 Dodge 330 in half on May 9, 2010… yeah… same damn woman… and the same woman who took a fucking sledge hammer to my 1974 AMC Gremlin… that woman, the same one woman who has done ALL of these things… just sent me a text, wanting me to meet her at Bug Light lighthouse, where her Claire and Kendra buddies crippled me and murdered my baby 9 years ago.
No!
Fucking no!
Why can’t this bitch leave me and my family alone!
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER!!!
Bug Light? Really? The location where my baby was murdered and I was left crippled for the rest of my life?
Really. She wants me to meet her at Bug Light Lighthouse.
Why?
I don't know.
She won't tell me. It's all a big secret.
Everything's always a big secret with the Atwaters. Because everything has to be a secret with criminals. If their crimes get found out, they end up in jail. That's how criminal thugs operate. In secret. So she she can't do anything without it being some big grand secret.
Why do you want me to meet you at BugLight, the lcation where my baby was murdered?
It's a secret, I can't tell you, you just have to come and find out.
No.
For one thing my car is not here, because oh, fucking Atwater scum bags vandalized it.
For another thing, I have a broken pelvis, I have been able to get out of bed since a week before Christmas 2022.
This is the 3rd time my pelvis has rebroken, since it was originally broken by the golf club weilding Claire bitch at... oh, BugLight lighthouse!
This is the same woman and her Mark simp from the day the police showed up at my Biddeford apartment to ask:
Police: "You're EelKat, right?"
Me: "No, that's what people call me though. EelKats a fictional character from my books."
Police: "This is Biddeford, right?"
Me: "Uhm? Yeah?"
Police: "And I'm standing here in Biddeford right now, talking to you, right?"
Me: "Uhm? Yeah?"
Officer starts talking in his phone to officers Will and Robby of Old Orchard Beach Police Department: "Yeah, she's right here with me, I'm talking to her right now. Got her Autism car here and everything."
Will and Robbie: "Yeah, that's what I been saying. This isn't her."
Me: "What's going on?"
Police: "Wolfboy is trespassing on your property again…"
Me: "Wolfboy? Who's Wolfboy?"
Police: "Mark. We call him Wolfboy. He calls 911 a few dozen times a day. Constant false complaints about every one. Boy who cries wolf you know."
Me: "Who's Mark? I don't know anyone named Mark."
Police: "Town busy body. Gossips and complains about every one. He's a real pain in the ass. Pardon my French. Can't leave anyone alone."
Me: "Why is he in my yard?"
Police: "Citizens arrest. Says he's arresting you."
Me: "Me?"
Police: "Yeah. He's got some bogus court documents that say you are not allowed on your own property because you're gay."
Me: "I'm gay? How am I gay?"
Police: "Yeah. Well Wolfboy thinks everybody is gay. He's waiting for the gaypocalypse, you know?"
Me: "What's the gaypocalypse?"
Police: "He thinks us guys are going to mass murder all the Christians. We have to deal with his fake 911 calls reporting us gaaaaaayz all the time."
Me: "I take it you're gay?"
Police: "Ahyap, several of us on the department. We don't like jerks like Wolfboy. He harasses people like you all the time."
Me: "Like me?"
Police: "Disabled. He targets disabled women. Thinks it makes him a man. You might not remember me. I was the one who came with the ambulance. You know? I knew you were laid up in bed here and couldn't be in Old Orchard right now, seeing how you can't walk, let alone drive."
Me: "And you said he's in my yard right now?"
Police: "Yep. He says you hired him to dig a septic tank."
Me: "I what?"
Police: "Yeah, we know. We checked. It wasn't you. We got this woman who's impersonating you. She's the one he's trying to arrest right now. She hired him to dig a hole in your front lawn. She says she's EelKat. That's why I'm here, to make sure you are here in Biddeford and not in Old Orchard Beach, right now. Buddy Will and Robbie are dealing with it."
Me: "Why is there anyone in my yard? There should never be anyone in my yard!"
Police: "Yep, we know. Wolfboy and crew do this sort of thing every day. You have no idea how often we have to deal with his crew of chronic 911 false report complainers. Whole family's crazy."
Me: "So, you're telling me there are two people in Old Orchard, right now, on my land, fighting over my land, and one of them is claiming to be me?"
Police: "Yeah, that's the deal."
Me: "He says I hired him to build a septic tank?"
Police: "Yep."
Me: "Do I look like I can afford to have a septic tank built? I have twenty million in medical bills. I can't even walk! What would I even do with a septic system, my bladder and intestines don't work, I wear adult diapers because I can't even use a toilet! Why would I of all people have a septic tank put in?"
Police: "Yeah. I know. I don't think Wolfboy and crew know how crippled you are. That's why we knew whoever he had in your yard, wasn't you. I also, don't think he's ever met you. We showed him a picture of you, and he swears that it wasn't you. We showed him a picture of *name removed* and he says that's you."
Me: "She's not me."
Police: "We know."
Me: "She's been after my land for decades. Was trying to get it aways from Grammy Helen, before I inherited it."
Police: "Oh, we know. Police reports from your Helen Ricker go all the way back to the 60s. They been after the Ricker farm since before you was born. Wolfboy's bitten off more than he can chew this time. He don't know who he's dealing with. He never should have gotten messed up with the Bacon Street Gang."
Me: "Bacon Street Gang?"
Police: "Ahyep. That's who Wolfboy has got tangled up with."
Me: "Who's the Bacon Street Gang?"
Police: "A gang. Think of them as kind of like the local Mafia, only worse. Most of them are doing time for murder. A few of them are out now. I don't think Wolfboy knows that's who he's dealing with any more than he knows who you are. He wouldn't be down there right now claiming she's you if he'd ever actually met you face to face."
That woman and that Mark, are the ones behind most of the rumors and misinformation spread about me.
The woman I know. She's a relative, with a long list of mental health problems.
Her Mark buddy, that the local police call Wolfboy, I don't know. I've never seen him. Never met him as far as I know. Obviously he's some friend of hers, probably one of her exs as she has a lot of them. She's got a bad reputation for slutting around with married men and breaking up families.
But all these wild alien abduction, transgender, ufo, nutcase rumors that get spread about me, whenever I ask "Who told you that lie?" They always say it came from her, my Uncle Bruce, or some guy named Mark.
And clearly this Mark guy is talking about her, but he uses MY name when he does it, because he's convinced she is Me. It's incredibly obvious this Mark guy has never met me and has no clue he's being scammed by her. But it is incredibly annoying because, I'm the one who is crippled for the rest of my life because some blonde bitch named Claire beat me up with a golf club at Southern Maine Community College Bug Light Art Studio on November 14, 2013, while screaming "Kill or be killed, gotta kill the transvestite freaks before they kill us all!" I was 8 months pregnant. That mystery Claire bitch not only left me crippled, she also murdered my baby. Why? Because this mystery Mark guy runs around calling me transgender and gay even though I'm not trans or gay. And he's only doing that because this nut job Atwater woman who pretends to be me, is after my land, so she runs around doing crazy ass shit while pretending to be me, in order to start the crazy ass rumors in the first place!
This Claire woman is the one the FBI is looking for information on. Because no one knows who the hell she is. She's just some random nut job who clawed out of the woodwork and showed up at college one day to attack me and kill me baby, while screaming utter insanity. The guy with her called her Claire, beyond that we've no clue who she is.
This Claire woman is the one wanted for murder, agitated assault, and owes me $20million in medical bills. If she's ever identified, she's also got life in prison for murder to look forward to.
No, I can not identify her: I am blind.
Did you forget I am blind? I've been blind my whole life.
I am legally blind. I can not see faces, not even if you are close to me. I can not make out the colour of skin because there is so little variation in colour from light to dark. I can only identify the attackers by their hair colour, because I am blind and can no see their faces. That is why I do not know who these people are. I'm blind. I've been blind since I was 8 years old. I can only identify people by their scent and the sound of their voice. Yes, the golf club woman attacked a blind pregnant women, and the FBI needs help to identify her because, I'm blind, I can only id her by the sound of her voice, and I've only encountered her twice...
November 14, 2013 when she crippled me with a golf club and murdered my babyat SMCC, and June 26, 2016 when she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarboror WalMart, she drove away in a gold volvo station wagon. The first time 2 people were with her and they called her Claire. The 2nd time only the red haired woman was with her, and she was screaming "My name is Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine!"
I do not know what the faces of wither the blond Claire who drove a gold volvo wagon or the redhair Kendra Silvermander are because I'm blind... I can see exactly 8 inches from my nose, I can't even see the ground to see my own feet. That's why the FBI is in need of witnesses to come forward and identify the 2 women who murdered my baby.
I'm blind, I don't know what they look like, I only know them by their voices.
If you have any information, about the Claire bitch who murdered my baby at BugLight Lighthouse on November 14, 2013, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322
ask for Agent Andy Drewer.
I am severely disabled. I have been since November 14, 2013. I was paralyzed for 5 months. It took me 18 months to get out of a wheelchair. It's been 9 years and I'm still using a cane and walker to get around, but, after standing and walking for an hour or two, I collapse and have to be carried back to bed, where I end up staying for days, sometimes weeks, before I can attempt to stand up again.
And since that happened, there have been a lot of local rumores.
Plastic surgery reconstructed my face, but I noticeably don't look the same as I did for 40 years prior to becoming disabled. And this has led to a lot of local rumors... people call me a demon, or demon possessed, or an alien, or say I was abducted by aliens and that's why I look different.
Welcome to Maine, where the average person believes aliens and demons are real, and think nothing of driving a backhoe over my house, because im just a demon who deserves it, they vandalized my car repeatedly every few months I who am already disabled and severe difficultly getting out and to the store, have even less ability to get out when my car is in the shop for repairs months to a time, multiple times a year.
This is the reality of how we horrifyingly disabled people are treated, at least here in Maine.
Being attacked in the college parking lot by 3 strangers with golf clubs is what dramatically changed my appearance. Doctors, plastic surgeons, rebuilt my face as best as they could, and they did a very good job all things considering. My vertebrae are broken in such a way that my spinal column is severed and so I have almost no use of my left hand and arm, I have no control over my bladder or intestines so have to wear adult diapers. And Doctors can't operate on this injury because there is an 80% chance of me becoming paralyzed from the neck down if they even attempt surgery.
I have been sent to the top neurological surgeons in America and they've all said, they wouldn't dare take the risk of doing the surgery.
I have been 9 years, actively studying everything I can find on the subject of spine surgery. I follow every medical journal, hanging on every update, watching and waiting for the day, when surgery advances to the point that it is an option for me.
Interestingly, as a side effect of this, I started reading and watching Horror genre, something I did not previously do. Things like The Island of Dr Moreau have become my favorite books and movies. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it is because I can identify with the characters who have those radical body changing surgeries in those books and movies.
In short, I have become fully obsessed with studying all aspects of radical surgery, both real and fictional, in some sort of hope of finding, something, anything, that will help me walk again.
THIS is what this Claire woman with the gold Volvo station wagon did November 14, 2013... and made worse when she attacked the second time June 26, 2016.
The Claire woman with the gold Volvo station wagon, not only murdered my son, she completely destroyed my life, my health, my ability to function on even the most basic levels.
I can't walk, my baby is dead, there's a giant fucking hole in my yard that looks like a Moon crater, and I'm homeless because a fucking backhoe drove over my house.
And because I was paralyzed for 5 months, and spent 18 months relearning to walk, and still can't walk on my own now 9 years later, I also have $20million in medical bills, which is why I can't afford to rebuild my house.
In the meantime, some jackass with a green dump truck that has a black and silver striped nose, dumped hundreds of loads of garbage, actual literal black bags of garbage that he stole from the town dump, and dumped them in my yard. Do you know how much garbage he dumped in my yard? It was one hundred and seventy three feet long, thirty feet wide, and twelve feet tall… yes, the pile of garbage was 173 feet long, 30 feet wide, and 12 feet tall… and it cost me $12k March 2015 to have a garbage company come in and haul it away.
What the fuck?
And you know what the police said? They think this woman and her Mark buddy are having a fuel, but because she's convinced him that she is me, and he's never seen me, so he doesn't know she's not me, that the police think, he's the one doing all the harassing of me and my family, but he thinks he's harassing her and her family and doesn't know he's harassing the wrong people, because she gave him my address as her address.
So, I'm being harassed by some guy who is a total stranger to me, because he's mad at some psycho bitch who was pretending to be me.
And because of all this, I'm crippled for the rest of my life, my baby is dead, a backhoe drove over my house, and then on April 10, 2015 my 10 foster children were kidnapped, and then on May 15, 2025 there heads were nailed to the door of my big pink motor home. So, now not only am I homeless and crippled, but my family has been murdered as well, all because some bitch impersonated me spreading weird ass alien abduction lies, weird as transgender lies, and weird ass gay lies about me, because for some reason she thought that would get her my land, and in doing so, she passed off some guy who went psycho serial killer on me, while thinking he was attacking her.
Yeah.
And so, two criminal ass thugs are funding with each other, and now I'm homeless and crippled and my family is dead, and the FBI is here now, and according to them, me and my family was never the target, me and my family got attacked by mistake because at the start of all this, some ufo nut, thought it would be funny to impersonate me and try to make it look like I believed in aliens, because this whole thing started because of some phoney ass alien abduction ufo haunted car hoax started by my uncle Bruce back in the 1990s, because he was mad, that Stephen King filmed The Thinner movie on my land, and my uncle Bruce was mad that he didn't get to be in The Thinner movie.
All of this started because Stephen King filmed a movie in my yard almost 50 years ago, and an uncle of mine was jealous, so he had his sister, pretend to be me to start some crazy ass alien abduction rumors, her running around claiming she was me while claiming to be abducted by aliens, while dubbing my husband as "etiole" and "amphibious alien", because in their minds that was some kind of revenge porn for not being in a Stephen King movie, and they've spent almost 40 years running with their alien abduction hoax, adding more and more to it all time time, including to start calling me a transvestite... and then, these people who used to live in Utah, my uncle and his sister, come back here to Maine to run around spreading the alien and trans rumour on a local level around Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, because, I have no ide why... they are just pure evil, and evil things like this are what hate filled evil people do.
Jealousy and hate. That's what fuels her. Pure raw jealousy and hate.
And my family is dead, my house is gone, and I'm crippled, all because some uncle of mine, whom I never even knew before any of this started, wanted to be in a Stephen King movie, and wasn't in a Stephen King movie and for some reason that was justification for all of this.
I don't get it.
The Atwaters are just hate filled, evil scum. You can't do something like this and be anything OTHER than pure evil scum.
Buglight lighthouse is where my baby was murdered on November 14, 2013 by the Kendra Silvermander and Claire bitch duo... why would I want to go there?
What the hell is she even thinking?
Every one who knows me knows my baby was murdered at Buglight lighthouse the beach behind the art studio at Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, on November 14, 2013, the same event that left me crippled for the rest of my life.
So why in the hell would anyone dare ask me to meet them at fucking Buglight lighthouse?
How much more evil can you be?
Update: February 19, 2023
Update: February 19, 2023
??? Weird. ...
So, I just got a flurry of weird text messages… about FabeBook posts? I’ve not seen said posts, so I don’t know exactly what they says, but I’ll respond to the text messages about said posts:
ONE... who is in my yard? It's certainly not me, I broke my pelvis a week before Christmas and haven't been out of bed in 3 months. There should never be anyone in either of my yards, not the one in Biddeford nor the one in Old Orchard...
TWO... when did my cousin Danny die? First I heard of it. Last I knew he was living on a farm up by Heath road in Saco. I haven't seen him since a few years before the grease fryer bomb blew up my house, that happened on October 16, 2006... so it was sometime before 2004 last time I saw Danny. Didn't know he died. That's sad. I liked Danny. He was one of the few good Atwaters...
Three, uhm, what garden? My land in Old Orchard is bare ledge. Not even any soil to plant anything in. It's been that way for nine years. When the backhoe drove over my house August 8, 2013, it also came in with a green dumptruck and strip mined my land, they stole all of my roses, apple trees, grapes, blueberries, and flowers, and took all the top soil down to over six feet deep, strip mined my farm down to bare shale and granite. It would cost over $three-million dollars to buy new top soil to replace what the vandals stole, and I don't have that kind of money, so I've not had a garden since, no vegetables, no flowers, nothing, can't plant anything on bare ledge....
so, yeah, weird, this latest rumor, which states I stole something from Danny's grave to put in my garden. Seeing how, I didn't even know Danny died and I also don't have a garden.
........... Update February 22, 2023
So, because I didn't know Danny died, people have started sending me these long lists of Atwaters whom have died since 2015... apparently there are well over 30 - thirty - dead Atwaters, none of whom I knew had died, and many of whom, I never even heard their names before. I'm told they are largely from the Utah division of the Scottish Traveller clans. But I did notice, half of the original twelve are dead? Is that true? No one told me any of this. I had no clue. It says here that uncle Peter and his wife, Bobby's wife Cathy, and even my uncle Brucie are all dead? When did all this happen and why did no one tell me? There a bunch of cousins, second cousins, and thrid cousins on the list too, but I've never heard any of their names before I have no clue who any of them are.
There also seems to be some weird thing where they are saying no one ever told them my son was murdered November 14, 2013... my mother, my father, my step father Wade, aunt Barbara, uncle Dickie, uncle Brucie, cousin Danny, and Danny's wife Amanda all knew about this. Barbara showed up at the hospital and tried to get me to join her in some stupid ass medical scam she said she was running via her EMT job, she wanted me to be some poster child for some medical scam website she was running, she said she could get more money if she had a real cripple on her website. Dickie and Brucie were both at my Water St apartment the night it happened and they were mad that the police showed up to question my family and found them there with my daddy and some private detective, I don't know who the private detective was... according to the FBI agent in charge of the murder investigation, my dad hired the private detective to trail my mother and her then husband Wade, and Dickie and Brucie were helping my father with that.
Barbara, Dickie, and Brucie were all at the hospital November 2013, when I was paralyzed.
Barbara knew I was in a wheelchair, because in 2014, at Saco Shaw's, she stopped to talk to me, while I was shopping and in the wheelchair.
I'm also being told most of them are claiming they didn't know a backhoe drove over my house. Uncle Joey in Australia, not only knew about the backhoe driving over my house, by the FBI has copies of the $600 wire he sent to the backhoe driver. My father is the one who forged the demolition permits, with some guy named Dan who I never heard of before.
Also, you remember Barbara's ex Paul Martal... do you know what he's in prison for? FBI arrested him in 2016, for not one, but many bombs that he built, including the bomb that blew up my house October 16, 2006 and wait for it... the Boston Marathon bomb in 2013, he built it and sold it to ISIS.
The Atwaters claiming they know nothing of the 2006 bomb, is a lie, considering the FBI arrested some of them for it.
The Atwaters claiming they knew nothing of the backhoe driving over my house August 8, 2013, that replaced the bombed house, is a lie, because because Joey is the one how organized and funded it and he's going to straight to prison if he ever sets foot in America again, the FBI is ready to arrest him the moment he sets foot outside of Austraila. They have uncovered all the evidence they need to do so.
Barbara posted the message on my FaceBook wall: "The next head nailed to a door will be yours", she posted that message May 14, 2015... the DAY BEFORE my foster children's heads were nailed to the door of my motorhome. I didn't know she posted that message... the FBI agent, had screenshots of it that he had made, he showed them to me in June 2016... I didn't know she had posted that on my wall.
Yvonne and Shem, posted on my FaceBook wall more then two hundred pictures of themselves holding various guns, and on every post they wrote the words: "This is the gun I'm going to kill you with." Again, I did not see the posts, because I was in the hospital, paralized, I was paralyzed 5 months, I was 18 month relearning to walk... I've been bedridden for the last 9 - NINE - years... I found out about the death threats Shem and Yvonne were posting when an FBI agent, the one, who is now dead. Larua, she was murdered February 6, 2021... arrived, at my 6x8 tarp that I was living under in my yard... she arrived, with a huge stack of printed out screenshots of death threats posted by them, along with 27 FaceBook accounts all owned by Brucie, most of them using variations of Doris's name... all 29 of those accounts spent the entire of 2014, 2015, and 2016 DAILY posting death threats on my FaceBook wall, and often mentioned the November 14, 2013 murder of my son, the August 8, 2013 backhoe, and the April 10, 2015 SWAT team... the SWAT team being something I never mentioned online... also... the police department is in search of a VERY UNIQUE murder weapon that was used in the May 15, 2015 beheadings, and the crackhead Camilla, the cocaine dealer for the Bacon Street Gang, who is an Atwater, has been since October 2021 showing up on my Biddeford front porch to gibber about... that murder weapon... the police and the FBI never released to the public what the murder weapon was, because it is a VERY UNIQUE one of a kind hand made item. And yet, MANY of the Atwaters... 23 of them, showed up in my Biddeford driveway January 8, 2021 to gibber about that murder weapon while also chanting "God-King-Trump".
January 15, 2021, a few days later, the fbi shows up with half the fucking plice department, here at my biddeford apartment, said they followed lucy and barbara up here from some attack on the president in washington dc and wanted to know if U'd seen them? what the fuck? I have no clue. I've not see Lucy since 1994 and I've not seen Barbara since 2013 the day she tried to get me to join her weird medical scam plot. But according to the FBI... they were watching my Twith livestream tht day, so they saw the "God King Trump" chanters, as did all of my viewers, I was live and my webcam faces the driveway window so, they were chanting "God-king-trump" on my Twitch livestream... according to the FBI, those 23 people were Lucy's crew and the had stolen stuff from the White House, and were carrying the stolen white house stuff while chanting in my driveway... the FBI wanted to know if I recgonined any of them, and I didn't, the FBI had tons of pictures of them, and I don't know who any of them were... but according to the FBI, they are the adult children of several of my cousins, via Lucy and Barbara's kids. What the hell?
I am so sick and tired of the FBI showing up here and questioning me every few weeks, because of some fucking ass shit Barbaras family is doing, when I don't even know Barbara's family! I haven't babysat for her kids since I was 12 years old and that was fifty fucking years ago!
Tell me, how do so many Atwaters have inside information about the murder weapon that was used to behead my ten foster children on May 15, 2015... when those police records are sealed, were classified by the FBI, and only me, 6 FBI agents, 3 police officers, and of course the murderer, know what the murder weapon was?
I don't know who contacted the FBI... it wasn't me. I assume is was police officer Will Watson as he was the original head of the police investigation. And yet, I have many THOUSANDS of hate emails, hate snail mail letters - hand written and signed by Atwaters, accusing me of sending the FBI to "snoop in on them" as they put it. Good god! The FBI is over here interigating me 2 or 3 times a fucking month! The Atwaters act like they are the only ones who have to deal with FBI agents hanging around all the time! At least with me the FBI are here trying to help solve a crime, not interigating me of being a criminal... my fucking son was murdered! Atwaters bitching about the FBI questioning them, well maybe they shouldn't be posting death threats all over my FaceBook wall constantly none stop, the same week my sn was murdered, but that's what they are being questioned about.
I never sent the FBI anywhere... I don't control the FBI, and anyone who thinks that is got some serious mental retardation issues.
I didn't even know the FBI was actively going from Atwater to Atwater questioning them, and I wouldn't have known, had the Atwaters not been writing long hate letters and mailing them to me.
My son was murdered in 2013... it was 3 years later, when the FBI showed up to talk to me, for the first time, and yet they informed me, they'd been on the case for three years at that point and had some pretty daming evidence, about one Atwater: Paul Martal, whom I've never met, didn't even know he existed... he got 14 years in prison for the 2006 bomb that blew up my house. But what the FBI wanted to know was: Why me? It appeared he didn't know me any more than I knew him. According to the FBI, Paul Martal was in heavy contact with 2 people, and the FBI believes it's one of them, who hired the golf club woman to murder my baby November 14, 2013...
...and the problem is, I've not mentioned it to the family, The Atwaters, so they don't know, not even my parents know, but on September 12, 2021, there was another attack. I've not released any details, nor have the police or the FBI, One of the biggest ones yet. The FBI pointed out one thing... the attacks stopped when one of te two primary suspects died. They said they had reason to believe the one, of the two suspects, whom they believe murdered my son, died... so how did the the September 12, 2021 attack happen?
When that attack happened the FBI asked me to repaint paint my car: put the info from 2 different events, with the dates reversed, to see WHO would notice it was wrong. Someone DID notice it was wrong: Crackhead Camilla, cocaine dealer of the Bacon Street Gang, she showed up on my Biddeford porch less then ten hours after I painted my car. She noticed the incorrect date for the incorrect event... and she has said WHO told her... and it was one of the three people who arrived at the hospital November 2013... except, 2 of those 3 people are now dead, and the one she's naming, is the one still alive.
Who is it, who runs around telling people I believe in aliens? That same person. I don't believe in aliens. I'm the one who proved aliens and alien abductions to be a hoax, did that in 2007, posted my findings proving aliens a hoax here: https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html
Who is it, who runs around claiming I say things about Utah Atwaters, people who I've never heard of, people I've never met? That same person.
Whose husband is right now sitting in prison for building the bomb that blew up my house? That same person.
Camilla was the bridesmaid of who? That same person.
Who KNEW I was paralyzed for 5 months, 18 months in wheelchair, and 9 years serverly crippled, bedridden... but neglected to tell anyone in the family? That same person.
Who is it, who is right now spreading rumors and lies about me, my brothers, and my mother, all over FaceBook? That same person.
Do you know what gaslighting means? Look at what she's doing. It's called gaslighting. It means she is trying to cast doubt on the victims, in order to make the victims look guilty, as a way to try to hide, her own crimes.
Ask yourself why you didn't know my son was murdered?
Ask yourself why you didn't know I was attacked by a blond woman with a golf club, left for dead, almost died, and have been crippled on paraplegic levels ever since?
Ask yourself why you didn't know I was paralyzed for 5 month?
Ask yourself why you didn't know I was in a wheelchair for 18 months?
Ask yourself why you didn't know my foster children, where not only murdered, but their heads were nailed to my door?
Ask yourself why you didn't know when Barbara, Brucie, and Dickie were all at the hospital, and knew what had happened. Why didn't they tell any of you? Why did they pretend not to know? Why did they hide for the rest of the family, what had happened to me?
Here's an important thing to ask: Why did none of you know the FBI was here investigating a very brutal murder that coincided with a LOT of harassment, vandalism, and hate crimes that were on levels of alarming extremes?
It's called impeding and FBI investigation.
Someone, in the Atwater family, has been very actively lying to all of you about what happened to me and my family... why? What is their motive? If they have nothing to hide, then why arethey bending over backwards to try to keep every one of you from finding out what happened to me, my son, my house, my yard, and my foster children?
Why?
Only the person doing these crimes, who any motive to try to cover them up.
Only the person who murdered my son, would have any motive to go out of their way to do everything in their power to try to make you forget he ever existed.
Only the person who did these things has any motive, to try to cover it up.
Only the person behind my son's murder has a motive to try to convince you I believe in aliens, when it's damn well documented that I don't believe in aliens.
Think about that, next time an Atwater starts spreading rumors about me, my mother, my father, my brothers, my husband, my dead children, or my dead son.
Also... who is it who told you that I knew about all these deaths in the family? Was it one of the three people who was at the hospital and knew what happened to me, but never told you all?
Also, yes... I have noticed that Dickies supposed death date is a full 3 months before he was at the hospital, before he was visiting my dad with Brucie and and having a meeting with the private investigator about Wade Witen... that's puzzling... but then again Brucie had faked his own death 4 times since the 1980s, each time to invade IRS fraud, so the Atwaters do have a history of faking their deaths. I know this because the FBI has all that info too and when interviewing me, they wanted to know if I was aware of the faked death, by 3 of the original 12 Atwaters... yep, three of the brothers have faked their deaths multiple times. So... when you people tell me Dickie and Brucie are dead, yeah, I kind of don't believe you.
Also, Barbara is the one going around telling everyone that Danny is dead and his grave is being vandalised... several people have told me that Danny is dead, his grave was being vandalised, and I a bedridden crippled, was being blamed for the vandalism, and I asked each of these people who told them this, and every one of them stated they recieved either a rtext, post, comment, email, or phone call from Barbara, some said she told them face to face in person... near as I can tell NO ONE other then Barbara os saying Danny died, no one other then Barbara is saying his grave is vandaised, and no one other then Barbara is saying I did it... also newsflash... my camera runs 24/7/365 ever since the day my foster children's heads was nailed to my door, so I can prove where I was and what I was doing every minute from May 16, 2015 to right now. The camera runs 24/7 in hopes of catching the murderer returning to attack again. Smile... if you've ever said anything to me online or offline, I have video footage of you doing it.
In case you've forgotten who Barbara is, besides being Bruce's sister, she's the 2 year old girl who was run over by this car. https://www.eelkat.com/images/1964dodge330_theGoldeneagleWorldsMostHauntedCar.jpg My 1964 Dodge 330 the one that was cut in half on May 9, 2010 by raving lunatics of the Saco Ward church calling it demon possessed. She's the one who started the rumor that the car was haunted, possesed by a demon and tried to kill her. The car used to belong to Dr Larochell, who paid Barbara $20k to stop her from spreading rumors about his car. Her rumours about his car got so bad that locals started attacking him, so in 1975 he sold the car and I bought it specifically to prove that it was niether haunted demon possessed and Barbara was just delusional and trying to get attention.
After I proved the car not haunted, I let a local elderly homeless man sleep in the car at night, while the car was parked behind my barn, 175 feet from the road in the forest where it could not be seen from the road, so no one knew the WW@ veteran was sleeping in my car... until that is, in 1978, Barbara tresspassed on my land, found him there, declared him first a demon, then in the 1990s started calling him "The Amphibious Alien"... Barbara is the only Atwater who ever learned French and guess what, she is also the one who coined the name "Etiole" and started calling the homeless WW2 vet "Etiole" and she is the one who has been vocal in instigating EVERY SINGLE attack on Etiole and my 1964 Dodge 330.
Also, do take a look at Barbara... we look alike, she and me... we can almost pass for twins. And what keeps happening around locally? People keep saying they are encountering me doing and saing things in places I've never been to, to people I've never heard of!
Also, every time I go outside, people - ttal strangers - keep coming up to me and asking me why I am emailing them stuff about aliens, and newsflash: I don't even use email! What the hell? I couldn't eail some one even if I wanted to!
In November, this guy comes up to me, he's about 90 years old and carrying this massive stack of sheets of paper - like 300 sheets, it's an entire reem of paper, and he starts waving it around and says it's print out of all the emails I sent him just in the past week, he says he gets more then three thousand emails from me on a daily basis and it's all crazy stuff about aliens... I looked at the papers and, the emails are coming from tons of emails with the word "eelkat" in the name, but they aren't mine. I'm not sending these things out to people and I don't know who is... but I do know who has a history of impersonating me with emails: Barbara!
In 1996, she started an email war with the Atwaters, with two emails, one that she said was heres, and one that she said was mine.
At that point... I had never had contact with an American, or TV, or electricity... I had never heard of computers or internet or email... he email war, was her, impersonating me, and sending hundred of hate filled emails to my aunts, uncles, and counsins... I found out about it a year later when Bishop Paul Morgan of the Cape Elezabeth Ward (no, not the Portland Ward, but yes the same building) called me in to his office one day, to ask why I was sending so many hundreds of emails about aliens and alien abductions to him and 750 other members of the church. No that's not a typo... seven hundred and fifty members of the church...
I had 3 questions for Paul Morgan:
1: What's email?
2: What are aliens?
3: What's alien abduction?
I had never heard of those 3 things before.
Paul Morgan had print outs of those emails, and it took me over a month to read those more then six thousand sheets of paper, but I read every one of them.
Paul Peterson, administrative director of Pine Land Center Insane Asylum... he showed up at church a few weeks later, yeah... turns out, several Atwaters used to be, how shall we call it... straight jacketed in padded cells because they were insane... and Pine Land Center, government run mental health institute, lost funding, shut down, in... oh look... 1996... and literally just let formally straight jacket nut cases, walk free out the front door. It's not hard to find out who the inmates of Pine Land Center were... the micro films are available in New Gloughster. So, yeah, that evidance exists and says a lot.
ALL of the rumors about me, my mother, my father, my brothers, my husband, my cars... all the Demon rumors, all the alien rumors, ALL of it... every single rumor, all the way back to the 1960s... all of them, were started by one person, Barbara, because, she was the 2 year old girl who was hit by that car, and she's pissed that I bought it, and she's even more pissed that Stephen King, my neighbour at the time, made a movie about it... did you know my real name is Christine and that's why the car is named Christine in the movie, even though the real car was named The Goldeneagle.
After Christine, Stephen King returned to film Thinner on my farm, and THAT is why, Barbara, has had endless amounts of jealosue rage and hatred for my farm, my land, my house... did you know I've rebuilt my house 5 times now... the backhoe has driven over THREE houses on my land, we keep rebuilding and it keeps coming back... but before the backhoe there was the bomb... and who did the FBI arrest for building that bomb again? Barbara's husband Paul Martal. That's what he went to prison for. He built the bomb that blew up my house, the FBI found him with the bomb parts in his house and car.
That's why, I always ask, when these weird rumors about demons and aliens show up... who told you? And EVERY SINGLE PERSON, EVERY SINGL TIME... they always say: "Barbara told me", "Baraba said it" , "Barbara called me" , "Barbara emailed me"... and so, I'm not surprised to find out that the rumors flying around this week, are once again, started by the same person who always starts them: the pissed off now adult, 2 year old girl, who 60 years ago was run over by the world's most haunted car, and is the one who both declared it haunted and dubbed the homeless man living in it as "Etiole"
Know your sources people. Do your background checks. Find out if the one spreading the rumors about me, might actually have a motive. Barbara REALLY hates that car. And at the core, her hatred of that car, her rage that Stephen King made it famous, is the cause of everything.
But guess what: Barbara and Brucie and their fucking endless jealose rage, is why I'm crippled, why my son is dead, why I've had to rebuild my house on my land five fucking times now... I'm not bothering any of them, I never have , and I don't know why they are bothering me! I want those bastards to fucking leave me, my family, my cars, my land, and anything else of mine alone.
Update: February 25, 2023
Uhm… okay… so, a member of the Sanford ward church was just in a rage yelling at me about the drug raid across the street last year at the missionary apartment and this being the 18th anniversary of the dead girl in the Scarborough marsh… and, I'm not sure why they are yelling at me about it…but they were mad saying: "Why is the FBI here talking to you about the dead girl in Scarborough. You aren't family."
Uhm… no, but I am the one who found the body and called 911 to report it. And I've had to deal with police and FBi questions in regards to her death for the past few decades every single time they get a lead they show up and ask me:"So tell us once again what you saw." And I tell them yet again about the girl with no head, the thirty dogs with no heads, and that, I never saw her or the dogs before.
I was driving to work and they were all laid out ritual like in the road, not a one of them had any heads. Not the girl, not any of the dogs.
First experience with headless bodies… but far from the last. And police and fBi believe the killer was there and saw me call 911 and that's why my 75 pet roosters had their heads cut off and their bodies tied in rope nooses and hung in my Orchard fruit trees and rose bushes shortly after.
I can show you where ever body was the girl and the dogs. The first one was at the Ross rd Portland rd intersection at the light by where the medical building is now. The next one was at the Eastern trail Bridge just before the rv center. There was another at the cascade rd intersection by the flea market... they continued like that all the way to the Scarbourogh marsh. All black dogs, mostly Rottweilers and black labs, more than 30 of them, leading in a path to the dead girl. None of them had heads. Not the girl or the dogs.
It was after dark, I was on my way to Macy's.
The fbi says they think it was the same person who beheaded my cousin Murphy in 2013, beheaded 75 of my roosters and hung them from nooses in trees in 2007, murdered my son in 2013, and beheaded my mother's cats in 2015... he says there were 11 other beheading like this between 2001 and 2015 all of them invloving a huge amount of pets, mostly dogs and cats, but also birds and horses… in title more then 500 pets just on Portland Ave in old Orchard beach alone, the first one was a German Shepherd in June 2001 whose head was hung on the bucket of his owners bulldozer, and there have been 7 more since 2015 to 2021, all on Portland Ave, Ross rd, and Cascade Rd.
The dead girl in Scarborough had no head, neither did any of the dogs. I'm the one who called the police.
I was there when they found Timmy Murphy on cascade and Ross rd intersection. He had no head either.
My cousin Murphy, the newspaper said he was hit by a truck. But that's not what happened. I was there. Police made me wait 3 hours while they looked for his head. I got questioned all over for that. It happened June 2013. Backhoe drove over my house August 8, 2013, and golf club woman attacked November 14, 2013... fbi thinks the backhoe and golfclub attacks were both because I was there when Timmy's body was being wrapped up by police. The police found his head 2 weeks later down by my driveway on Portland Ave almost a half mile from where they found his body.
They believe the killer of my cousin Timmy was at the scene while the police were questioning me, and that's how the killer knew to target my house with the backhoe a month later… the issue with that is, one of my uncles, paid the backhoe driver, but that uncle lives in Australia and wired the money to the backhoe driver. The police have all the paperwork for this. And the police can't figure out, why it appears that my Atwater relatives are heavily invested in impending the investigation of what police are calling "the Ouellette case".
It appears the Atwaters are being egged on by someone involved in the murder of the headless Scarborough marsh girl, and that the Atwaters are being deliberately needled into a frenzy at me and my family in a bold attitude to through police off the killers trail.
The thing is, the Atwaters have gone into wild extremes bringing in weird alien abduction rumors that are just outlandish… but then… one of my uncles, when the FBI went to interview him… he had dozens of dead, headless black dogs, black cats, and black chickens laying in weird pentagram ritual formations, all over his yard, in his driveway, around his house, hanging on his fences… and… well… dead headless black animals were all around the Scarborough marsh that day of the dead girl… and so… it kind of looks a lot like one of my uncles either is the murderer or at least is the one supplying the murderer with dead black pets.
So, this lead the FBi to ask me more questions, because now it looks like the Atwaters lashing out at my family has a far bigger motive then, them just being crazy lunatic ufo nuts.
I've been a witness at 4 different beheadings.. and was the one who called police each time.
The raid at the Saco Ward missionary apartment across the street…I never said the raid across the street was a drug raid... the state drug force wasn't there. Ive seen drug raids before. My Atwater relatives are notorious for drugs, ive been in the house when two drug raids happened, one in 1982 and one in 2016 and both times the state police drug team was the one who did the raid.
State police drug team wasn't there at the raid on the missionary apartment across the street last year, it the US Marshalls and FBI there. They had 8 people handcuffed face down in the road in front of our apartment. And they said it was about the Ouellette case, specifically the headless girl in Scarborough marsh. I know this, because thry asked me if i recognized any of these 8 people. One I did, she's been my dads nurse since 2009. Fbi was here asking me about that raid, because he wanted to know if the dead cats and birds in the road here in front of our Biddeford apartment were lined up same way as the dead dogs were back in Scarborough years ago with the dead girl.
Me and others locally have been finding dead pets lined up on Main Street, western Ave, Cutts St, West Cutts st, James St, and Bradbury st every since summer 2021, I sent videos footage of all the dead pets to fbi, because it DID look like same ritual pattern used in my yard with roosters in 2007 and my mother's cats in 2015 and those dogs with the dead girl at the Scarborough marsh.
That's why I stopped walking around our apartment at night... dead cats and birds are being set up around my apartment and also my mothers apartment... looks like whoever killed cats and roosters in Old Orchard, wanted me to know they knew where I lived.
The officers think the person leaving the dead pets all around our apartment is whoever killed the headless girl at the marsh... they think that's why the attack on my roosters happened in 2007, the backhoe in 2013, the golf club women who killed my son and crippled me in 2013, because I'm the one who called the police about the headless dogs in Scarborough with the dead girl.
Weird, this Sanford Ward Mormon, who was just here at my apartment, made the comment: "But the dead girl in Scarborough wasn't beheaded."
I don't know if there's a different girl too or not. I only know about the headless girl, the one I called 911 about all those decades ago. I never looked up the news reports so I don't know if they ever mentioned the thirty dead dogs or her and the dogs having no head. I don't know what the news said about it. I don't even know her name. I just know whenever the police or FBI ask me to retell how the dogs were laid out, they always call it "The Ouellette Case". Beyond that I know nothing about it.
My focus has always been on the attacks on me and my family. I don't know any of the other families. I just know the officers said the April 10, 2015 attack on my farm was the 11th such attack on Portland Ave since June 2001 and that they now tell me there have been seven more such attacks on Portland Ave since 2015. They said a lot of details have not been released to the public, but that there are a few common things recurring in every attack which indicates it's just one person (group of persons) doing it. They say they keep going back to all 18 of our families reasking us for details we can remember because they are trying to match up the similarities of each case.
I know what details were left out of reports about the attacks on my family. I don't know anything about any of the other 17 families at all.
I don't understand these Saco and Sanford ward church members who keep showing up all upset because I'm trying to find out who murdered my son and left me crippled. What is their problem? It's MY family that's dead, not theirs, what the fuck business is it of theirs? Why are they so damned ruffled up about me asking for anyone with information to call the FBI? By being upset like this, they are just making themselves look suspicious. When they are mad that I'm asking people for help finding the killer, they just make themselves look like they are involved, they make it look like they know who the killer is, they make it look like they are protecting and defending the killer. Do they not realize how suspicious they make themselves look when they get angry that I ask on Facebook for anyone with info to please call the FBI and help put my son's killer in prison?
Do you remember Timmy? He's the same age as you and me. He's the one who lived at the black house next door to my on Portland Ave. He was the used car dealer, the one who always have a dozen or so cars lined up for sale across his front lawn. He also owned Etiole's swamp, my abutting neighbour from the back side of the land. He used to help me babysit Barbara's kids back in the 1970s and 1980s, we used to duo babysit together.
Timmy Murphy was the one beheaded June 2013 at the Ross Rd and Cascaed Rd intersection.
That's why I can't understand these Todd Murphy fucktrds who spent the entire of November 2021 to May 2022, daily arriving in my Biddeford driveway, chanting "Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy!" while vandalizing both the building and my car. They did $10k+ in damages to my Volvo and they did so much damage to the building that landlord Matt Holiday couldn't afford to repair the apartment building so he sold it because the city of Biddeford was going to condemn the building and kick out all 9 families at 409 Maine Street, because the Todd Murphy fucktard attackers did so much damage to the building. People know about them cutting all the wires off the building, but it was a lot more then that. They did huge amounts of stucture damage to the building itself as well. That's why Matt sold the building. He just didn't have enough money to repair the damages.
But the thing was, these vandals were acting like they thought I knew who Todd Murphy was, and I never heard of anyone by that name before. I think they mixed up whoever this Todd Murphy was with my cousin Timmy... who is not an Atwater... what the fuck are the Atwaters even talking about? Timmy was my dad's older sister's god-son. My aunt Victoria from Portland? The one who lived in that big tower on the waterfront up on the Promanard.
Why are the Atwaters so damned fucking arrogant that they think they are the only relatives I have? The Allens of Allen Ave in Portland are my relatives too you know, and Timmy Murphy was one of them. You know, the whole family who founded Amatos... the woman who founded Amatos was my dad's great aunt. That's why we always get free food at Atmatos, their family. The Atwaters don't hold a fucking monopoly over me, what the hell is wrong with them? You know, I'm sick of the Atwaters barging their way into everything and trying to make everything be about them. They aren't the center of the world and they need to stop acting like they are.
Near as I can tell, these Todd Murphy vandals are conneted to the Atwaters somehow, but I don't know how. And again, they are impeeding a fucking FBI murder investigation. Do the Atwaters know how to do ANYTHING other then stick their busy body noses in places they don't belong? What the fuck?
Do you know what the police said? They said Todd Murphy is the son of someone my mother and Barbar fight with on FaceBook. I've had my mother and Baraba both blocked on FaceBook since the shit they pulled back in 213 after my son was murdered. I don't have a fucking clue who my mother or Barbara are friends with on FaceBook, I have them blocked. I've had them blocked for 10 years this Novmber.
But then, I have fucktards from the Sanford Ward church showing up here now, do you realize how far they have to drive to get here to my driveway? What the hell? And they claim that Todd Murphy was a member of the Sanford Ward... you know what he's not on the rouster. You know I'm a member of that church right? I got access to the rouster, because my husband is the high preist quorum leader of that church... there's no one named Todd Murphy who is a member of the Sanford Ward church, and there hasn't been in the last 48 years that I've attended that church. So now I'm left wondering, even more what the fuck?
Who the ell is Todd Murhy and why the fuck should I care? I haven't got a clue what these people are talking about. I don't know who they are and I don't know who their Todd Murphy is.
Only thing I can figure, is somehow, something my mother and Barbara said, convinced these people that when I talk about Timmy Murphy's murder case that I'm talking about Todd Murphy. But why? Was Todd Murphy murdered in 2013 of the Ross Rd in Old Orchard Beach, same as my cousin Timmy Murphy, who was also my abutting neighbor and had the same birthday as me, so we celebrated our birthdays together, you know because we grew up together and knew each other own entire lives?
I mean, what the hell? And what does Todd Murphy have to do with The Ouelltte case aka the beheaded girl in the Scarborogh Marsh from 20 years ago? That's what they were talking about last night... thee Snford Ward members who were here in my ard in Biddeford last night, who yes, I do know who they are, but I don't know who this Todd Murphy is that they are talking about or what he has to do with my cousin Timmy Murphy and that girl, both being beheaded down the street from my Old Orchard Beach farm?
I asked, no one in Timmy's family knows any one named Todd. None of my Scarborough or Old Orchard Beach Murphy relatives know or have ant relatives named Todd, so none of them, know what the fuck these people in Biddeford are talking about. You know just because someone has the same last name, doesn't mean they are relatede, right? Do these Todd Murphy people who won't stop hrassing us, and now clearly have a connection to the Sanford Ward realize that?
And what is with Joel Bailey? What? Yeah... they're bringing Joel Bailey back into stuff? He went to prison in 2013, he, if you forgot was the counsellor of the Bisiop of the Saco Ward church, the entire bishiprisk went to prision, 2 to 10 years each one, along with the Old Orchard Beach Town Manager, oh wait, he was one of the bishipric, and 13 people from the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police departments, all members of the Saco Ward church, for stealing a little bitty number of thirty MILLION dollars in Old Orchard Beach tax funds out of the town hall bank account, which I only found out about, because they tried to forge my name onto the documents and that was why FBI Laura, the agent ho was murdered in Florida on Feberuary 6, 2021, was sent to interview me in 2007, 2010, and 20134... the Saco Ward church bishopric stole $30million from the Old Orchard Beach town hall and tried to pin it on me, only, I can't count, mI never learned math, and they didn't know I couldn't possibly have written the math figures. I don't know how to do money and only someone really good with money could have done the things they did. They also put a lot of stuff in Ken Shoop's name. That Joel Bailey, the one who is now out of prison and likes to walk circles around my Biddeford apartment all summer long in 2022. Yeah, I am aware he's back, the mini-Winnie RV that parks at the Biddeford High School at night, he is the one driving it.
Given his past history, no, I'm not surprised at all to find his name bring brought back up. Though the Saco Ward Mormons now trickling out of prison and back on the streets, would explain why the vandalism started up again, seeing how they were the ones who used to do most of it and the vandalism did stop when they went to prison.
I'm sick of the Atwaters and their Mormon friends. They're nothing but criminals, drug dealers, and gangster thugs.
The fact remains, the only thing I'm focused on is finding my son's killer and the Atwaters and their Mormon thugs, are interupting that, and I want to know WHY? No one who is not guilty of being involved in my son's murder has any reason or incentive to be here harassing me and telling me to take the FBI phone number off my FaceBook wall, and that's what they are doing and I want to know why. What business is it of theirs if the FBI phone number is on my FaceBook wall and what is their involvment with my son's murder that they think the FBI phone number on my FaceBook wall effects them?
Here's a weird one… I just got a text message from a Sanford Ward Mormon which states: "I've known you for 40 yeas I would remember you being attacked how come you never mentioned it before now"
Uhm… since 1996, my website, originally known as Space Dock 13, has documented daily blog posts of every day of my life.
The July 2, 2001 attack, when a house mover cut our house in half, put it on a flatbed and drove it to Waterville, was documented the day it happened. It was also the first attack. My neighbor's German shepherd dog was beheaded and left in the bucket of his bulldozer that same day.
Go look at my blog… every day since July 2, 2001 , every attack, from the minor paintball attacks to the big house bomb attacks, are all documented, each blog post written the day it happened. There are more then ten thousand daily blog posts just on that one blog, chronologizing every event of every day of my life and including every attack, since June 2001.
That fact that they only just noticed it now, does not mean, I've never mentioned it… it just means they were too self absorbed to notice anything going on around them. It also means I was never important enough to them, for them to notice I was homeless, or in the hospital, or had a baby that was murdered. … their shock of just discovering these things, says more about their lack of caring about me, then anything else.
As for the headless girl and dogs in the marsh, the murder of my cousin Timmy Murphy, and the golf club attack ,the 3 events they specifically brought up in their text…
I had Squidoo articles about all 3 events. Squidoo went out of business in 2014.
I have more then a thousand blog posts published between 2007 and 2013, on Tumblr, BlogSpot, and WordPress, about those 3 events.
On YouTube I had more than 2k video uploads between 2008 and 2017 that did absolutely nothing but talk about those events, and included the interrogations by police and Fbi, which I've recorded all of since May 2015. So, yes, you can go watch FBI agent Andy Drewer, lawyer Gene Libby in the Biddeford District Court, and police officer Will Watson, and dozens of others talking about these events, on YouTube, because my camera catches everything.
Since 2008, I have posted daily on Facebook and Twitter asking for witnesses to come forward about the dead dogs and the marsh girl...
Since June 2013, I added Tim Murphy to my daily Facebook request for witnesses to come forward,
Since August 2013, I added the back hoe driving over my house info to my daily Facebook requests for witnesses to come forward.
since November 2013, daily every single day requests for witnesses to the attack at phi theta Kappa ceremony at bug light lighthouse, where my baby was murdered and I was left crippled for the rest of my life.
I'm still crippled by the way, are they going to tell me they didn't notice that either? Did they not notice I was 5 months paralyzed, wait I know that person noticed because in February 2014 that exact same person carried me to their car and from their car into the hospital precisely because I was paralyzed and couldn't walk…. The person who carried me to the hospital because I was paralyzed and had to be carried is the exact same person who is now saying they don't remember this… and yet, they are the ones who had to fill out the paperwork to admit me in the hospital and their signature is on those documents. So, proof they are lying, right there.
after the June 2016 attack by the 2013 golf club woman, this time at walmart, the fbi gave me a hotline number for witnesses to call... this phone number has been on the flyers in the windows of my Volvo ever since June 2016 and these events are printed on said flyers.
Also in June 2016 the Old Orchard Beach Libby library and the Biddeford McArthur library and the Old Orchard Beach Salvation Army Church all printed up flyers about these events, and spent the summer handing them out to tourists and the fBI number was on all of those.
This is all very well documented as, I have been post them DAILY for over a decade now... and I talk about it constantly in my livestreams which I started doing in May 2015.
Just because one person had their head shoved too far up their church's ass to know what was going on in their own family, and they only just now noticed what was going on around them, doesn't mean I only just now started talking about it.
This is why I don't like churches. Church people are so focused on their Bibles that they haven't got a clue what's going on in the real world around them.
Not to mention all of the police reports, there are more than four hundred police reports, which span twenty one police departments, in three states as well as the Maine state police and the Florida state police, plus the FBI besides! Most of those police reports are public record, you can go read them for yourself. As far as I know only 3 of them were classified and sealed from public access which means there's still 400+ that can be read. There were newspaper reports of some of the attacks. And even though I don't own a TV so have never seen the tV news reports, I know those exist because there were so many TV station news reporters showing up in my yard with camera crews asking for interviews with me. This case is so damned well documented. It's utterly ridiculous to think there is a single person in Southern Maine who is so self absorbed and so oblivious that they have never heard of this case or any of the events that have happened within it in the last 18 fucking years!
But the worst part is, this my own church, a church I have been a member of for 48 fucking years, that is saying, they never heard of this! What the hell? There were more than 24 people from the Saco and Sanford Wards arrested by the FBI just since 2015, because of their involvement in this case. Several of them are still in prison. These people are really that oblivious that they didn't know I was in the hospital, they didn't know I was in a wheelchair, they didn't know my son was murdered, and they didn't noticed 24 members of their congregation disappeared because they went to prison for their involvement.
Really? Wow do these people really give a shit about their fellow congregation members or what? They not only didn't notice I was missing from meetings for 9 years because I am bedridden now, they also didn't notice 24 other members not in meetings because they are now in prison. Talk about dense numb skulls.
It appears the High Priest is back. You, Paul, have met the High Priest. You met him at WalMart. You met him at McDonalds, where you had a 4 hour long conversation with him. You met him my yard in Old Orchard when you visited a few days after the April 0, 2015 attack, and can I add here that you are the ONLY person since that happened, to ever once stop by and ask how I was doing, it’s you’re the only person I knew before the murder of my family, whom I still talk to. You ARE the only person, who ever showed you actually cared about what was going on.
Not one single member of my family or my church has ever stopped to see how I was doing, has ever asked online how I was doing.
But, since November 2021, Sanford Ward mormons have been showing up, all of them in wild raging infernos, and all of them talking about people and events I know nothing about, so I have no clue what any of them ae talking about, but they act like they think I know who the names they mention are, in particular they are cult-like worshiping someone names Todd Murphy whom I can only assume they have gotten mixed up with my beheaded cousin Tim Murphy of Pine Point district of Scarborough and Old Orchard Beach, somehow.
They showed up near daily from November 21, 2021 until May 17, 2022. They were lead on by two blond girls who looked like twins, and have mega long knee-length hair they kept in pony tails, and a smaller pudgier girl with a mint-green pixie hair cut. I don’t know these girls, they looked to be in their 20s. They are the same girls who spent the entire summer of 2021 harassing the homeless man who was living under the trestle bridge across the street from us. They would show up on bicycles every night around 1AM, chase him up out of the ravine, then chase him up the old back tracks along the dirt road to South Street, up towards your place. They did that every night for about 5 months, until he got hit by a freight train on Nov 19, 2021 at 6:27PM. They started attacking my and my family Nov 21, 2021, I think because they knew I had video footage of them harassing the homeless man and I think too they were pissed that I call the police when they killed him by cornering him at the bridge overpass so he couldn’t get out of the way of the oncoming train. Outside of them nightly harassing the homeless man, and then spending Nov 21, 2021 to May 17, 2002 chanting “Todd Murphy” in my driveway while vandalizing my car and apartment building, I’ve never seen these girls before of since. They seemed to have completely vanished May 17, 2022. Not seen them at all and the vandalism stopped cold turkey that day. I assume the police must have finally caught and arrested them, but the police never said they did, and in the past when someone harassed me, the police would always ask me to go to the station to ID them after the arrest.
In any case, the “Todd Murphy” dipshit bitches stopped harassing us May 17, 2022, and I heard no more of them, until this past month… only it’s not them showing up this time… this time it’s older people, elderly people in their 70s and 80s, members of the Sanford Ward Mormon church across the street from Curtis Lake Church… Curtis Lake Church being the congregation that shows up in my Old Orchard driveway with the “god hates fgs” signs and calling me a transvestite and calling my car gay, and marching around chanting “too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach”... several Curtis Lake members have been arrested by the FBI and gone to prison for their involvement in both the April 10, 2015 attack on my family and the headless Marsh girl. However, to date,, the killer has not been found, every one arrested so far has always been weird “cultist-like” gay-haters who are attacking people in the area while chanting “kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws” and then rambling gibbering about heads in ice cream. The people arrested, for 5 different local churches, are all outspoken in radically preaching a doctrine of beheading anyone suspected of being gay, while stating that they are doing so on god’s orders.
That’s why there has been so much difficultly in finding out who killed the marsh girl and my cousin Murphry and my family, because, it looks like it’s not just one person, but rather an entire group of people involved, and so far, all evidence has pointed to those 5 churches: Saco Ward, Sanford Ward, Grace Point, Curtis Lake, and New Life, all in Biddeford, Saco, or Sanford, and all run by just 2 families. One family runs 3, another family runs the other 2.
Anyways, I was just thinking, and I think I figured out why the Sanford Ward Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints members are seemingly so clueless and unaware that I have been crippled and bedridden for nine years and why they were unaware that 24 members of their congregation have gone to prison, arrested by the FBI for being accomplices in the The Ouellette Murder Case aka The Cascade Murders aka The string of beheading on and around Portland Ave, Ross Rd, and Cascade Rd the past twenty years, which included the headless girl I found in the Scarborough Marsh, my cousin Timmy Murphy whom I found headless on the Ross and Cascade Rod crossroads, the beheading of my own foster children… Ben is the common link to all of them.
Ben, as you know, has severe dissociative identity disorder, that was brought on when his brother Willy commit suicide.
Ben has seven different, very distinctive different “people” living in him, that we know of, there could be moe then 7. Etiole is the one most locals are familiar with, though he does not call himself Etiole, Etiole being a name locals dubbed him. However, there is the High Priest, who is the one you, Paul, are personally most familiar with.
I’ve not seen the High Priest since April 10, 2015. Ben WAS there the day of the attack, he was also attacked… the attackers had me, my mother, one of my brothers, and Ben, all on the ground with guns to our heads, while they use a weird looking long pole with a piano wire-like loop on the end, to cu the heads off of everyone else who was there. Me, my mother, one of my brothers, and Ben, were the only ones to walk out of that attack alive. Ben’s favorite daughter Bella was one of the ones beheaded. His mind snapped, because, he recognized one of the attackers as “Rick”... When the attackers arrived, Ben ran up to one of them and said “Rick! What are you doing here?” Ben does have a friend named Rick… I know Rick. Rick is a very violent, vicious spouse abuser. His wife Paula used to come to church been to a pulp every week. Broken arms, broken legs, broken nose, black eyes. It went on for years. She finally divorced him and fled to Utah when he beat and nearly killed their teenage son. Rick has beaten me up, right in the Sanfard Ward church building. He’s a major bully, a huge bigot, and an extreme white power racists. Rick WAS there April 10, 2015… he didn’t have a white pillow case over his head like the rest of them did, but I don’t kow if he was a part of the attack or not, I was too busy trying to fight the bastard who was holding me own with a pistol in my face, to notice what Rick was doing. It was Rick though, his face in unmistakable… he has no face. Elephant man disease, I think you cal it, but you can’t mistake Rick, and he WAS in my yard April 10, 2015 the day my family was murdered, I just don’t know what he was doing there or if he was involved in the attack or not.
The thing is, something snapped in Ben that day. ALL 7 of his multiple personalities vanished, including the High Priest, thankfully. You know how bad the High Preist could get, you met him several times.
Ben left the Mormon church. I don’t know what triggered him more: his favorite daughter Bella being beheaded in front of him or his best friend Rick, seeming to be the one leading the charge ahead of estimated 74 people in white robes and white pillow cases over their heads.
In either case, Ben has developed a server hatred for the Mormon church and refuses to set foot in a Mormon church building… he who was High Priest Quorum Leader of the Sanford ward for so many decades.
The thing about the High Priest, was he was everything so far the opposite of who Ben, my husband, actually is.
The High Priest Quorum Leader of the Sanford ward boldly proclaims to be a virgin. Ben in not a virgin. Not even close. He had a prostitute problem back in the 1980s when I met him.
The High Priest Quorum Leader of the Sanford ward boldly proclaims to not be married, yet Ben and I got married on the Old Orchard Beach Pier August 13, 1987, so he’s been married several decades and still is, we don’t live together because he’s terrified of the Bishop finding out he has a wife. Keeping in mind Mormons don’t forbid priests from marrying, however Ben grew up extreme strict Catholic and his brother is the current leader of Opis Dia and he has to keep up appearances of being a Catholic Priest for his brother, from times when he visites from Italy, which happens a few times a year. Ben became a High priest in the Mormon church, but then goes to several local Catholic churches when his brother is in America, so that he can say he’s a High Priest without lying about it, and keeps his brother thinking he’s Catholic High Priest when he’s actually a Mormon High Priest. In other words, Ben lives a very big double life of trying to juggle his priesthood in two religions, hiding it from each other religion, while also maintaining a (very annoyed) wife (me) that he hides from BOTH religions.
Which is WHY, I’m allowed to PUBLICLY be friends with you, because it helps him to keep up the facade of “see, I’m not married, she hangs around with Paul”, which yes, that IS what Ben tells people at church about you.
Yes, Ben is a dick, I am very aware of this.
But, here’s the thing… Ben TELLS ME he is no longer in contact with any Mormons whatsoever, claims he hates, them, claims he shuns them, claims he’s not spoken to any of them since April 10, 2015…. HOWEVER… he was caught in July 2022, giving one of the Sanford Ward Mormons a ride to the store…. And Rick specifically, has been one the phone with him, when I came in the room and he thought I was elsewhere, causing Be to run around in a panic, knock his glasses off, break them by stepping on them, all while Rick was screaming out of the phone, “Ben, ya there? What happened? What’s going on?”
It appears the High Priest is back…. However, I suspected this in November 2021… the High Priest uses specific pontificating phraseology that none of Ben’s other personalities use…. And on november 24, 2021, the same night the Sanfard Ward Mormons were here cutting the wires off our Biddeford apartment building, Ben started talking like the High Priest again. It’s really distinctive. Normal people don’t talk in long winded drawn out droning, monologuing pontifications about Jesus, and of Ben’s 7 known people living inside him, the High Priest is the only ne who does this. Ben was here and witnessed the wire cutting event, he even went out side and talked to the crowd of “Todd Murphy” chanting lunatics to try to talk to them… and,... he said one of them is Todd Murphy’s grandmother from the Sanford Ward. Ben indicated at that point that he knew who Todd Murphy was, but since then, has denied knowing who Todd Murphy is. But, he came in, and told me outright that “I know her from the Sanfard Ward, she’s Todd Murphy’s grandmother”..
Each of the 7 people who live in Ben have no knowledge or memory of the other 6, and when one of the 7 does or says something, none of the other 6 have any memory of doing or saying those things.
It appears that The High Priest knows Todd Murphy, not only that, but also knows the attackers who came here daily from November 21, 2021 to May 17, 2022… and it looks like Ben, in his High Preist version of himself, is the one who told them where I live and is the one who worked them into a frenzy to begin with.
I have video footage of the homeless man who died Nov 19, 2021… a LOT of it. He knew Ben. That was obvious. Me and Ben were walking Main Street every night the summer of 2021 and the homeless man from under the trestle bridge would stop to talk to us a few times a week. And those weren’t just videos, those were Twitch livestreams so everyone watching my channel saw this homeless man stop and talk to Ben… he said he knew us. I did not recognize him, but Ben… I don’t know… Ben acted like he did know the homeless man, but didn’t want me to know it, so he told the homeless man he was mistaken. But people around local are saying that thie homeless man who kept showing up in my videos IS Todd Murphy, they say they saw my videos and it was Todd Murphy in my videos.
I am finding this whole thing very confusing… because NOW… even though I have video footage of Ben talking to the homeless man, Ben now claims, he never saw the homeless man at all and tells me I’m delusional. That's what he said: Ben said: “Your delusional, there was no homeless man” and, yet hundreds of people, many of them local, saw those videos of Ben talking to the homeless man. Which means, the man Ben was when he was walking with mt summer 2021,is NOT the man he is right now… and… either this a new 8th personality Ben has recently developed, or, it’s the High Priest back, but being deliberately sneaky to try to hide the fact that he’s the High Priest… which is odd, because before now, NONE of Ben’s multiple personalities have ever showed any signs of acknowledging any of the others, and the High Priest trying to high he’s the High Priest by trying to act like a different person, indicates the High Priest DOES remember and IS AWARE of the other personalities.
As you are well aware, I HATE the High Priest. I want nothing to do with him. I never would have married Ben if I had ever encountered his High Priest alter ego before marrying him.
June 26, 2016… FBI Agent Andy Drewer asked me to meet him at his Portland office on Middle St. He had… info. And a new primary suspect. Ben, specifically his High Priest alter ego, is the FBI’s #1 suspect in being the inforat, who told the golf club attackers I was at BugLight Lighthouse November 14, 2013. The FBI has phone records. I told only 3 people, where I was going that night: my mother, my father, and Ben. I told them only 5 minutes before I left, because I had been sick earlier and had previously told everyone I was not going to that event at the college. According to the FBI, my parents and step father Wayne Whiyyen, never left Biddeford, they continued to argue all night, and the FBI knows this because my father had hired a private investigator to tail Wayne, and so they have a lot of evidence as to where 2 of the 3 were. Ben on the other hand, called his friend Rick, the same Rick who was in my yard April 10, 2015… Minutes after I left my dad’s Water St apartment and drive to Southern Maine Community College, November 14, 2013… Ben called Rick. Rick drove to Ben’s house. And the two of them together left.
FBI Agent Andy Drewer had one question: “How well do you trust Ben? Because right now, he’s our primary suspect.”
They believe Ben told Rick, I was pregnant with someone else’s baby and Rick is the one who sent the golf club women to deliberately kill my baby.
Why do they believe this?
Because between 1987 and 2013 I have had 7 miscarriages, something that can be proven… Ben ins the only man I’ve ever been with. It’s not possible for anyone else to be the father. This was my 8th pregnancy by Ben and he was at the time running around accusing me of cheating on him with Etiole. The thing is… he IS the one people call Etiole… but his D.I.D. means he things Etiole is someone else, he doesn’t believe its him, because none of his personalities have any memory of each other.
Ben is a total nightmare to live with because I never know from one day to the next, who the hell he is going to be that day.
Ben has denied every pregnancy. Why? His exact words are: “I wouldn’t. I am a High Priest. What would the Bishop think?”
According to the FBI too, Ben, behind my back, runs around from one LDS/Mormon congregation to the next tell people that I am quote: “An unrhightious, unfaithful aunty-Mormon who puts the church down.”
Interestingly, I have been a member of the Mormon church since 1975. Ben joined in the 1980s. Ben left the church in 2015. I am still a member.
My FATHER is an extremist anti-Mormon, who preaches hatred for the Mormon church. Not me. Kenny, my father, is the anti-Mormon. My father, is such a huge radical extremist anti-Mormon that he has gone on to convince my mother, a 5th generation Mormon who is related to one of Smith’s poly-wives, to leave the church. She left the Mormon church in 1994 and joined up with some anti-Mormon group lead by some woman named Tanner or something. My mother, took her anti-Mormonis to extremes far above and beyond my father, taking to FaceBook and a forum called exMormon something and went total psycho nutjob anti-Mormon conspiracy theory all over the internet through the late 1990s into the 200s and still does it to this day now in 2023, preaching her wild anti-Mormon conspiracy theories now 27 years. In 3 years it’ll be her 30th anniversary of her wild mega hyper anti-Mormon rampage, with my father cheering her on and needling her forward the whole way in a weird Bonnie and clyde style vendetta attack everyone who is a Mormon hate fueled bigotry.
I on the other hand, am still a Mormon, have never had anything to do with the anti-Mormon movement, and, was shocked to learn from the FBI, that, the anti-Mormon rumors about me online are massive, and spread largely by members of the Saco and Sanfard Wards, with their info being just misinformation they regurgitate after talking to Ben, my mother, or my father.
Apparently, because I am bedridden and crippled, since 2013, and thus have had no way to get to church these past nine years, this, my absence in church meetings, after 48 years of never once missing a meeting, has allowed my mother, my father, and Benn to be able to spread wild anti-Mormon rumors about me, with the 3 of them going to my church, the Sandford Ward, and telling the church leaders that I’m not in church because I’ve turned anti-Mormon.
And yet, it is Ben who is the biggest anti-Mormon of all… he’s actual friends with that Tanner woman. My parents only run around preaching the Tanner woman’s message, Ben, actually sought her out and became personal friends with her and helps the Tanner woman one on one…. And he brags about this all the time.
I’m sick of hearing all the anti-Mormon Tanner woman bullcrap from Ben and my father and my mother so, whenever any of the three of them start chiding me for being a Mormon and telling me how evil and deceived I am because I refuse to leave the Mormon church, I just put my headphones on and listen to Markiplier YouTube videos and, ignore them.
I don’t hate the Mormon church like Ben, my mother, and my father do, so I am fed up with them constantly bitching at me because I’m a Mormon. Which is why I’ve not spoken to my father in 3 years even though we live in the same apartment, and was a contributing factor to why I blocked my mother on FaceBook in 203 and have had no contact with her at all offline since… though that hasn’t stopped her from showing up, trespassing, and hounding me.
Ben, is far worse then my mother or my father combined… since 2015, he has hand written thousands of anti-Mormon letters to every church leader he can find, local, not local, all the heads in Utah… and he bought a dozen cases, each case with 144 books in it, cases of Ket Kerr’s books and daily mails them out to every member on every rouster list of every ward in the Exiter and Augusta stakes, using his position as High Priest Quorum leader to get the home addresses of every Mormon in Southern Maine and New Hampshire, mailing all of them aunty-Mormon letters and copies of Kat Kerr’s books. Ben, as you know, has more money then he knows what to do with, and right now, he’s spreading thousands of dollars every day, just on the postage stamps to mail Kat Kerr’s books and his anti-Mormon letters to every local Mormon he can find.
And so, I knew he was mailing out the Kat Kerr books… but, until FBI agent Andy Drewer told me, I did not know that Ben and my mother and my father, having been putting MY NAME of the letters they are mailing out to people, and the three of them, through impersonating me, have got my church, the Sanford Ward, and it’s sister church, the Saco Ward, 100% convinced that I stopped attending church because I’mm now an anti-Mormon who hates the church, and that’s why my church, the Sanford Ward, and it’s sister church, the Saco Ward, are both unaware that I have NOT left the church, but rather I’m bedridden and crippled and have no one to help me get to church.
And so, now I’m finding out, that Ben, my mother, and my father, working together, according to the FBI, seem to be the fuel that is, and has been for several years, the fuel working locals up into a frenzy… including, they are the ones who are getting the Atwaters riled up, my being an Atwater, and the Atwaters further fueling locals on top of what Ben, my mother, and my father are doing.
What is their motive?
I ask them.
My father says he’s doing it to impress my mother so she’ll remarry him.
My mother says she’s doing it because I need to sell my land and give her the money so she can buy a house in Kennebunk.
Ben says he’s doing it because Mormons are led astray by Satan and he has to save my soul from Hell.
I’m so sick of all of them.
Update: March 9, 2023
You know, one of the things I find most weird about the Atwaters is that so many of them seem to think I know them, even though I have never met them, nor even know any of their names.
Of the original twelve, I have only ever met five of them. And while I know Danny, I don’t even know the names of his siblings. I met Angelia once when she was twelve, at a Halloween party at the Cape Elizabeth Ward LDS Church, and then I saw her for about 2 minutes before she left. And Danny I only met when I was 37 years old and I only saw him about 10 times, back when my mother was trying to scam him out of his money from being hit by a train… which I didn’t know that was why she was visiting him, until a few years later when she had a big rant about how she wouldn’t visit him any more because he was, in her words “stingy and greedy” because he refused to give her the money to “use as a downpayment for a house in Kennebunk”. I should have known that was why she was visiting him, as that’s the only reason she ever does anything. She’s obsessed with trying to by that $3.7million mansion by the Wedding Cake House, and has been trying to scam relatives out of money for a downpayment on it for decades now… it was her reason for her involvement in the backhoe that her brother Joey hired to drive over my house. She and Joey figured I’d sell my land if there was no house on it. They didn’t exect me to set up a lean to made out of a 8x6 tarp and just spend the next 9 years living under that.
I met Doris once when she was squatting illegally on my land back in 1996. Took me and the Old Orchard Beach Police 9 months to get them out. I only ever saw her one day. She had 4 military tents, the size houses, 2 Winobegos and a Cadillac, that they illegally dumped on top of my corn crops, along with more then 600 bicycles, and 2 school buses full of sawed up copper pipes. Took us 9 months to find out who in the hell was living there and dumping that garbage on m land, and it turned out it was Doris. Only time I ever saw her, was one day, for about 15 minutes.
I remember Micheal, Tonya, and Scotty from before the caged years, but, I was put in the cage hen I was 8 years old, so I’ve not seen then since I was 8.
Once every year, usually on September 19th, David and Lucy would show up with a herd of incredibly violent gun toting vandals who would go through our farm and use shovels to chop the heads off all our pet cats, dogs, hens, ducks, and roosters. They were kill 200 to 500 of our pets every year in this anuel bloodbath on my farm. I don’t know who the hoodlums were. David said they were his kids, but he also said he had 15 kids and there were WAY more then 15 people involved in the annual Sptember 19 boodbaths… way more, closer to 100. Brucie said once that it was not JUST Davivd’s kids, but also a group known as The Halls. I don’t know who any of them were, but the police showed up every time, trying to get them out, and they always had huge shootouts with the police every year. It’s why I have a massive phobia of guns. A bunch of them were arrested in 1982, when that time the state police drg team showed up and arrested them and confincasted meth, marhawana, opium, and LSD
I know Dickie, Brucie, David, and Barbara because they were the ones that helped my mother build that room, that they locked me in when I was 8 years old, right after my Grammy Hellen Ricker’s funeral. They kept me in there for 27 years. One of the 4 of them would show up every 12 days to throw rotted molded food in the cracks between the boards. They are the only 4 Atwaters I know, and I only know them from their weekly coming into the room to beat me up, torture me. They are the five who raised me and said I was not Human, said I was a Demon and that I wasn’t allowed out of that room because Demons weren’t allowed to have contact with Humans.
I was 12 years old when the High Priest found out about that room, and he took me out every Sunday to go to church, and then took me back to that room after.
No one ever told me I was a Human and was allowed to go outside or talk to Humans until the social workers showed up when I was 31 years old. They are the ones who started using the term “feral child” to describe me and they to this day are still trying to “integrate me into Human culture” but two of them say they have given up on trying to convince me I am Human, they say there is little chance of my mind ever fully grasping the concept of being human because it’s too difficult to undo the three decades of Brucie, David, Dickie, Barbara, and my mother doing their “child social experiment” (as the social workers call it) to raise me to believe I was not human. They said the bigger problem is the fact that almost immediately after I was rescued out of that room/cage they kept me locked in for 27 years, the 2006 bomb blew up my house, which the FBI says it was Barbara’s husband Paul Martel who did that, but I don’t know why, as I never met him or even knew about him prior to the FBI arresting him, and the backhoe arrived to drive over my house 5 different times over the next 10 years, same back hoe, same yard, different house each time, as I kept rebuilding houses. Then I found that headless girl in the marsh with all the headless dogs and the FBI thinks one of the Atwaters did it seeing how the headless dogs were lined up in a row from my land to the march, each dog about 500 feet apart (for some reason the Saco and Sanford ward church members forget my land in Old Orchard abuts the Scarborough Marsh and is right on the edge of OOB bordering Pine Point in Scarborough. And that the dead girl in the Scarborough marsh was literally only a few hundred feet away from my driveway… they keep asking why I am obsessed with the Oulette Case, but they forget I’m the one who found the dead girl in the Marsh and that she was set up in a friging ritual pose, practically on my front lawn AND the FBI thinks the whole thing was done in some weird attempt by the Atwaters to frame me, so that I would go to prison for murder and they culd take my land… which it’s always my land and the Atwater obsession with taking it that is at the core of everything)
But in any case, the social workers say that because these events were my very first interactions with Humans, that it instilled in me an psychosis effect of further belief in not being human because I had trouble accepting the fact that I am the same type of creature as the monsters humans are, because, yeah, all I’ve ever seen from humans is death, bloodshed, violence and distruction. I have no reason to WANT to be integrated into a society that leaves headless dogs and headless girls in my front yard.
But then 2013, came along…. Social workers got me into college in 2010, in an attempt to show me that ONLY the Atwaters were shitty bloodthirsty bastards and that MOST humans don’t drop dead headless animals all over their houses and yards the way the Atwares do. And they were right. Humans in college were nothing like the Atwaters and their drug dealing, petty thieve, ganster thugs. The social workers and police keep telling me that this sort of behavior is not normal and that it is ONLY something the Atwaters and their friends do, that normal humans don’t act, do, or say the things the Atwaters do.
But then, I’m constantly running into people who make the claim to “know all about” me and they will spout off this weird freaked out stuff about witchcraft and curses and spelcasting and aliens and ufos and, I’m left totally clueless because I don’t know a single thing at all about witchcraft or curses or spellcasting or aliens or ufo, and I can’t figure out why these people think I have the faintest idea what the fuck they are even talking about.
They’ll say they thought I was some expert in casting curses and say they want to hire me to cast curses on people, and they act like spell casting is some sort of job I do. I don’t know heads or tails about spell casting.
They’ll say, “But your the sea witch of Old Orchard Beach”... yeah, people have been calling me that ever since Stephen King filmed Thinner on my land back in the early 1990s, but, I’ve never read a Stephen King book or seen a Stephen King movie, not even Thinner, so, I haven’t got a clue what is in his books and movies. All I know is he based some “Gypsy witch” in Thinner off me, because I’m the “Queen” (aka Priestess) of a local Gypsy clan. A Gypsy Queen is similar to a Catholic Nun in the Folk Catholicism of Mexico and has nothing to do with witches, witchcraft, spells, or curses, so I don’t know what the fuck Stephen King did in the Thinner movie to make people think I’m some kind of spell casting witch, but, people seem to have trouble understanding that the Thinner movie is FICTIONAL. I’m not a witch and I don’t know the first thing about witches or witchcraft. I haven’t got a clue how to cast spells or curses. And I can’t figure out why so many total random strangers think they can walk up to me at WalMart or Rotary Park or the library and demand I cast some curse on someone for them.
But, when these people do this, and it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I go outside, which I have agoraphobia, so it’s sometimes weeks or months between my setting foot outside, every single time I go out, some one always identifies me as a witch and watches a curse cast.
At the same time I’ve got these UFO nuts constantly coming up to me asking me this or that about some weird ass alien ufo idea, and I never have a clue what they are talking about, They use all sorts of weird ass words and phrases that I’ve never heard before and gibber on like another language which I can’t understand… but then they act all surprised that I don’t know the meanings of the words they are using, and they’ll say: “But I thought you were supposed to be a top expert on UFOs and alien abductions” and I’m like what the hell are they even talking about and how the hell would anyone in their right mind come to think that I would believe in ufos or aliens, when I think people who believe in ufos and aliens are raving lunatics, my uncle Brucie being a perfect example of a raving lunatic who believes in aliens and ufos.
I don’t get it.
But then, every time this happened, and it just happened again today, because, as you know I’ve not received any mail since May 2022 and I went to the post office yet again today to once again ask where the hell is my mail… and low and behold, I can’t set foot outside without some alien believing, curse believing freak ass weirdo nutjob showing up to ask me to put a curse on someone while gibbering about ufos.
I ask him, where the hell did he get the ludacris idea that I was a witch, that I cast curses, or that I believed in aliens, nd he said: “Well, your mother says on FaceBook…” yeah, my mother is a freaking nut, which is why I’ve had nothing to do with her in decades. She’s a white power freak who runs around calling black people the n-word, is part of the anti-vaccer micro-chip in vaccines conpreracy theory, wouldn’t let me or my brothers go to school because in her words “the government controls the schools, and satan controls the government”, SHE spends 90% of her time running around putting curses on people, all she does is talk about whores and demons, demons and whores, every other word out of her mouth is either demon or whore. And the only time she ever shows up its because she’s trying to pul yet another lame ass scam to try to steal my land because she hated my grandmother and says it’s her life duty to destroy everything that”ever bolgned to that old bitch of a whore” including the farm I inherted from gramy Helen. My mother is spiteful, violent, vindictive, and has a police record for running around beating people in the face with bricks. On top of all of that she’s chronic liar and I’ve never heard a truthful word come out of her mouth.
I am well aware that my mother is the source of 90% of the problem, simply because she’s the biggest fucking gossip in Southern Maine, after he sister Barbara, and the two of them are rather famous all over Maine for thei trouble they have caused HUNDREDS of families. They are petty Karens who devote every minute of their lives to making up vicsious rumors and lies about every person they see, both people they know and people they don’t know.
And thanks to the FBI investigation into the murder of my on, I’ve found out a LOT about both my mother and Barbara and the bizarre, outlandish extremes they each have gone to in their petty vindictivness.
But the fact remains, I’ve not had contact with either of those bitches in several decades, precisely because I am sick and tired of their endless hate for everything and everyone around them. They both do nothing but gossip and lie, lie and gossip, and run around like a couple of teenage brats making a game out of seeing who they can hurt next … they fucking brag about it and spend hours laughing over how fun it is to destroy families.
It doesn’t take any level of intelligence to see that the dynamic trio (Barbara, Brucie, and my mother) are the source of every damn rumor about everyone in York County, Maine.
It’s such a big problem that I’ve had people come to my apartment and ask me if I could ask my mother and her siblings to leave their family alone. The fucking Biddeford Police have stopped by my apartment to ask me if I could do anything about my mother, that’s how I found out it was HER who knows Todd Murphey, because the police came right out and told me that my mother has been harassing Todd Murphey’s ex-wife and 15 year old son on their FaceBook accounts and wanted to know if I could ask her to stop.
No. I can’t. And you know why? Because when I asked her to stop spreading witchcraft and curse casting rumors about me, she arrived the next day and cut my car in half! The 1964 Dodge 330… she said it had a demon in it and she had to kill the demon by killing the car. What the fuck? She’s fucking insane!
And worse… half the time, these people will tell me some name I never heard of. Say this or that person told them I was a witch who cast curses or was some alien expert, and I’ll ask them who the hell is that, and they’ll say: “Oh that’s one of Brucie’s kids” or “David’s kids” or a grandkid… and I’ll point ou that I’ve NEVER EVEN MET Brucie's kids or Davids kids or ANY of the rest of the Atwares.
There are more then four hundred Atwaters, and I’ve meet EXACTLY SEVEN of them in my life time. I don’t even know the names of all the original twelve, let alone the names of their kids or grandkids… why would I? Most of them live in Utah and I’ve not set foot outside of Maine for nearly SIXTY YEARS!
I’ve never in my entire life even talked with an Atwter, not face to face off line, not online.
Because I’ve never even seen pictures of any of the Atwaters, I wouldn’t even know an Atwater if I saw one!
And yet, they run around spouting off things I supposedly said or did, and make the claim I’ve talked to them… and I’m just left wondering who the fuck is running around talking to the Atwaters while pretending to be me, because I don’t even know who the Atwaters are!
Clearly, there is someone out there pretending to be me and the Atwaters think they are talking to me, but they are NOT talking to me, I’m not talking to them, and I want to know in the the fuck is running around pretending to be me?
Its so damned fucking obvious the Atwaters don’t know one iota about me, just by the level of the ludicrous witchcraft, curse, alien, and ufo lies they spread around about me!
I should be able to go to my post office, go shopping, heck just walk down my driveway to get my mail, without being bombarded with stupid ass freaks gibbering about witches, curses, demons, aliens, and ufos! I am so damned sick of my mother and her fucking Atwater relatives…
You know, another thing that’s fucked up about all this and again is my mother running around lying her ass off to hell and back, yet again… is this whole situation with HER cats.
The attack on my family, happened the same day as the whole thing with her cats, and she is so obsessed with the cats, that she has gone out of her way to run around telling people that when I talk about April 10, 2025, I’m talking about HER cats… but, in order to further promote that lie, she also tells people they were MY cats! What the fuck?
You know that Nick guy my mother sleeps around with? The one she broke up his marriage, convinced him to leave his wife and kids down in Mass and move up here to Maine, because she was scamming him… the guy she stole his credit card and went and bought that shed she put on my land, and bought those $2k dogs with, and bought those appliances with, and bought that tractor with, before that Nick guy found out she stole his credit cards? Him.
Did you know, she convinced him that she owned MY land in Old Orchard Beach, and she tried to get him to join her scam, and pretend he was a real estate agent, and my mother and her pimp Nick tried to sell my land last year… and this is not the first time she’s done this.
Did you know, that in 2007, she went to the town hall, pretending to be me, had them divide my land into sections, and then sold one section? That’s why Don Cooliard and his sister have a house in my driveway now… something they built in 2019… and it was when they built the house in 2019, that was when I found out my shit face mother and her jackass whore master Nick, sliced off a peice of my land in 2007 and sold it!
I had no idea they had done it!
That’s the kind of shit faced scum bag scam artist my mother and her fuck buddy Nick are!
But it gets worse.
My mother had 83 cats… eighty three cats.
And she was hiding 113 of them in an apartment owned by this Nick scammer. He found out she had cats in her apartment… guess what day… April 14, 2015. The day before the attack on my farm.
Here’s a thing… did you know there were no locks on the doors of my motorhome? Not one. I bought it February 21, 2012, and first thing I did was took all the locks off, because I have a PTSD phobia of locks, after my mother kept me locked in the room cage thing for 27 years.
And yet… when the vandals showed up with a Blow Brothers sewage truck to fill my motorhome with 500 gallon of raw feces, they had to pry a padlock off the door to get inside. A padlock, that I did not put there.
Do you know how that padlock got there? My mother put it there the night before, when she took HER thirteen cats, and shoved them in my motorhome, without telling me she was doing it… because she had to hide them from Nick.
People often ask, why, I a professional artist whom has had displayed at the Portland Museum of art… don't paint anymore.
It’s because paint supplied are expensive, and 500 gallons of raw human feces not only did $10k in damages to my bedroom, it also destroyed $30k in art materials.
But it gets worse… my mother was two timing Nick with both my father Kenny and her other ex husband Wayne… and on top of that, she was mad at Wayne, so, it turns out, that 7 of those cats were HIS cats, and she had stolen them from HIM…. so not only was she hiding thirteen cats from Nick, but seven of those cats were stolen cats besides!
She put the cats in my motorhome, them, because she is fueding with ALL her whore master fuck buddy men, one of them, the FBI hasn’t figured out which one yet, filled my motorhome with feces out of a Blow Brother’s sewage truck (my cousin Ken Blow is my neighbour, they stole one of his trucks to do it) , and then called the police and told them that the motorhome was HERS, because my mother had been running around telling everybody it was hers, she these guys thought they were pumping sewage into my mother’s bedroom and didn’t know they were pumping sewage into my bedroom.
But, because they DID know that she had put the cats in there, and they were made at both her and Wayne, they thought if they called the police, the police would arrest her and Wayne…
,...however, the gays haters of the local Mormon churches ALSO showed up that same morning, a completely separate incident from the cats, to attack my family, because, earlier that year, I had published a gay Romance novel, called Night of the Screaming Unicorn, and these gay hating church freaks, decided murdering my family was punishment for me publishing a Gay Romance novel.
A fucking five towns worth of police, including a SWAT team showed up… the white robed klan pretenders fled, thep police found the cats, I was left asking “What cats? What are you even talking about?” Later an officer asked me if I knew the cats, and I said, “Yeah, these ones belong to my step father Wayne up in Biddeford and those ones belong to my on the other side of Bideford, how the hell did they get in my motorhome?”
And the court cases people talk about… there where SEVEN different court cases going on all at once, including the Guy Gamon murder trail because he murdered my dog walker who walked my dog when I was sick, which was the big case, that uncovered he was a serial rapist, and went on for several years and included a jury trial.
The murder trail of my family was also going on. Different court case.
And then, my MOTHER had a court case going on with police over the cats, which, in the middle of that, she spun it around, started telling people the cats were mine, and the next thing I knew, there were TWO MORE court cases slapped on me, that I knew nothing about… both an extension of the cat case my mother had going on, because 2 weeks into HER court case about HER cats that SHE hid from Nick in MY motorhome, she had Nick convince the police to switch the case out of her name into my name, because she had convinced Nick that the cats were mine! So all of a sudden, I get this weird court case about HER cats slapped on me, on top of the three murder cases and rape case, that were already going on.
The cat court case lasted less then an hour before the judge threw it out of court, telling some Dan guy that if he ever tried to pull a stunt like this again (apparently he worked for the Old Orchard Beach town hall and had pulled scam court cases to frame disabled women before, because the judge told the Dan guy that this was the 64th bogus case he had done to try to steal land from disabled women in OOB)...... but… the judge was asking me about the cats, and I keep telling him, I don’t know anything about the cats because they were not my cats, they were my mother’s cats, and I still had no clue how they had even gotten in my motorhome in Old Orchard Beach, 14 miles away from Nick’s apartment in Biddeford where they had been for several years before that. Finally the judge asked if someone could get my mother to the court house, and surprisingly she showed up… with Nick of all people… and she boo-hooed to the court about the cats being mine, and my being homeless and living under a tarp (I was still living under the tarp in 2015, but not at the time of the attack… I had just moved in with my dad in Biddeford March 31, 2015 due to I have just come out of intensive surgery and the doctor wanted me to not be sleeping outdoors for the next 6 months because I had intensive amounts of surgery to heal from, so I wasn’t in Old Orchard the day my mother put HER cats in my motorhome and that’s why I had no clue the cats were in there).
Well, the judge got mad at my mother, because it was blatantly obvious to him that the cats were hers, because she was using all the cats’ names, while I didn’t know the cats’ names, and she was describing what they looked like and what breeds and ages they were, while I didn’t know what half the cats looked like, Three of the cats I had never even seen before, and I didn’t know their names. I didn’t know how many cats there were!
The judge outright told my mother to her face that she ought to be ashamed of what she did, framing me and pretending the cats were mine, and he sent the cats to the West Kennebunk Animal Shelter, something we knew right there in the court room, but in order to get pity, and money (my mother started a fund raiser on one of those kickstarter type places) saying she needed to raise money to locate the cats. What the fuck? We knew where the cats were. They were at the West Kennebunk Animal Shelter… she even went there to try to get them back… asked me to drive her there in my car, took Wayne with her because the cats were technically HIS cats that she stole from him… I have the whole thing on video camera, it was livestreamed… she had a big fucking fight with the people at the shelter and they told her they’s arrest her if she ever tried to get near their shelter again.
After that, she built up this weird ass conspiracy that the cats were sent to lots of shelters and foster care… which they probably were., I don’t know… and she went from one animal shelter to the next harassing them.
Meanwhile, her friend Joel Baily hacks my Twitter account and uses it to harass, yet another of my mother’s whore master men that she sluts around with trying to get money out of… some guy named Mark, who I never heard of before, but apparently, he’s been friends with my mother AND my father for some forty odd years, even though I myself had never seen or heard of him before. And yes, the same Joel Bailey from the Saco Ward and Old Orchard Beach town hall who went to prison for hacking the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall bank account and transferring $30MILLION in OOB tax money to members of the Saco Ward church… who it turns out, most of them were the anti-gay attackers in my yard April 10, 2015, which is why 24 members of that church went to prison between 2016 and 2021.
So, I’m still unable to do anything because, you know, still recovering from major spine surgery, because of the golf club attack that murdered my son in 2013, three years earlier, I didn;t have surgery until 2015 and 2016., because of the fucking red tape the USA medical system runs on… here I am, not online at all since November 14, 2013, so I have not yet told anyone about any of the April 10, 2015, and come January 2016, all of a sudden, there’s the Mark guy who crawls out of the woodwork, with yet another court case, this one claiming I was saying stuff on Twittrer about him… and yet, I had never heard of this guy before AND I hadn’t been online since November 14, 2013, so what the fuck? Who the hell is hacking my Twitter account pretending to be me, while harassing this guy I never even heard of before. But by this point FBI Agent Andy Drwer had taken over the whole case, and by June 2016, he found out, yeah,:” it’s your mother’s friends from the Saco Ward church. She’s convinced them the cats were yours and that you need to be punished for animal abuse, that you didn’t even do, by hacking your accounts and framing you” Great. So yet again, my mother and her cat obsession and her Atwater friends, and her Saco ward friends, and her fcck buddies are at the core of all of this, with them once again, putting my name on something I fucking had no part of and didn’t even know anything about! What the fuck!
This court case was ALL livestreamed, you can go watch it on YouTube. The Cat Court case was also live streamed. You can watch that on YouTube too. The murder court cases and the rape court cases, also livestreamed. You can watch them on YouTube too. And then on top of that, was the Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach Court case with the Old Orchard Bach Town Hall… also livestreamed, you can watch that on YouTube as well.
My mother, Nick. all these Saco Ward church people, the Dan guy, the Mark guy, the Gene guy… they are ALL on livestream… the judges, the police officers, the witnesses, the DA, even the FBI agents… all recorded, all livestreamed on Twich, all archived on YouTube, all SEVEN court cases, every day of every trial. You can go watch them all yoursel and see the truth, instead of listening to siller gossip and rumors started by my mother and her Nick buddy trying to cover their asses for trying to steal my land YET AGAIN, via the cats.
But have you ever noticed it is ONLY my mother and Nick talking about the cats in connection to April 10, 2015… do you notice how I never talk about the cats, because… oh look… they were NOT my cats, they were my MOTHER’S cats and that’s why SHE is talking about them?
Did you also notice how, in order to make people believe the cats were mine, that both my mother and Nick, are going out of their way to try to erase the existence of my family that was murdered that same day?
Did you notice how in order to push THEIR cat agenda, my mother and Nick are are doing a major gaslighting move to try to make everyone FORGET what happened two years earlier on November 14, 2013, the day my son was murdered and my spine was broken?
Did you notice how my mother and Nick are trying to use THEIR cats as a slight of hand move, so people wouldn’t see that they DID steal and sell part of my land to Don Colliard in 2007 nd that they tried to sell another section of my land in March 2015… yes, yet another court case which was going on, BEFORE the cats happened, and that the FBI believes my mother and Nick pulled the cat stunt deliberately to try to make people look the other way and forget that she and Nick tried to steal my land only 2 weeks prior to the cat event? Or that she and Nick tried for a THIRD time to steal and sell my land April 2022…
Know the truth.
Those cats were not mine, they never were, and I’m sick and tired of the jack ass fucking animal abuse rumors and lies my mother and Nick are spreading about me… lies that they are spreading ONLY to try to cover up the fact that they were trying to steal my land, to sell my land, so my mother could by some fucking mansion in Kennebunk.
Well guess what… my son is buried on my land, He’s been buried there since November 2013, and it doesn’t matter that there is no house on my land, because my son’s there and I’m never selling it. And my mother and he Nick and Saco Ward and Atwater friends are bunch of fucking scum bags who don’t give a shit about anything but the damned fucking money they think they can get out of my land.
Update: March 13, 2023
So, we have confirmation that yes, our mail IS being stolen from 146 Portland Ave. As you already know, we have not received mail since May 2022 and it is now March 2023, it's nearly a year. Post office has just been saying "we are short drivers" and has not looked into it... so we went over the heads of the local Old Orchard Beach post office and went to the distribution center, and told the state post master what was going on, they got in touch with our delivery driver, and he has delivered our mail every day, all year, and is baffled because the post office had not alerted him that we were not getting our mail. So, YES, if you live on Portland Ave, in Old Orchard Beach, and have not been receiving mail, and I know most of my neighbors are saying they've not gotten mail in weeks to months, as well, go to the Saco distribution center in the industrial park, and complain there, because tour driver IS delivering daily and has not been missing delivers... all missing mail from Portland Ave is stolen and you need to let them know what mail you have not received to they can get to the bottom of finding who is doing it.
So, while I was at the post office today, seeing how the post office is on the Cascade Road, out here in the Old Orchard Beach section of the Scarbourgh Marsh... I decided to check the family cross, see if the name Todd had been added, seeing how the vandals and shitard harassers can't stop gibbering Todd Murphey this and Todd Murphey that in my driveway, and nope... here it is, https://www.eelkat.com/images/cross.jpg as you can see the only two names are my cousin Timmy Murphy and my uncle Gordon Murphy. No Todd.
You know, I would recommend these shittards take their heads out of their asses, and drive through all the roads of the Scarbourough Marsh. Why?
This cross is one of the more then a hundred crosses in the marsh, which marks the locations of the one hundred and twenty people whom have been beheaded in a four mile radius since June 2001. This cross stand at the Ross Road x Cascade Rd intersection. The Cascade Road, as everyone who watches the local news is aware, is where bulk of the serial killer's attacks have occurred, which is why local news reporters have dubbed the entire case as "The Cascade Murders", officially know to law enforcement as "The Oulette Case".
If you start driving through all the side streets of the Scarbourgh Marsh, you will find there are 120 - one hundred and twenty - of these crosses, some with 5 or more names on them, each marking the location where the the person dubbed by locals as "The Portland Ave serial killer" has murdered 120+ people between June 2001 and February 2021.
For some odd reason, the Sanford Ward LDS church, a church only a 30 minute drive awa from the Scarborough Marsh, is so clueless about the local biome, that they seem to think the ONLY place the Scarborough Marsh exists is across the street from the church owned candy store Len Libby's Chocolates.
Do you recall how people like to dub my land "Etiole's Swamp"... do you know why they do that? Because my land is a literal swamp. It's a peat bog, with more sinking quicksand and 6 foot tall marsh grass, then solid ground. I live IN the Scarbough Marsh, as does EVERYONE on Portland Ave, Ross Road, Pine Point Road, Cascade Road, Walnut Street, East Grand Ave, West Grand Ave, Milliken Mills Rd, and more then 200 - two hundred - other streets in Old Orchard Beach, all of which are located inside the Scarborough Marsh.
The Marsh is not JUST in Scarborough, nor is it just that one quart mile stretch of road across from Len Libby's. The Marsh sits in two countries and five towns, and covers several thousand acres of land... and the Scarborough WalMart and the South Portland Main Mall, both site in the marsh, with both of those mega buildings building on a massive system of concrete pilings to keep them from sinking into the many acres of peat bog that site under each of those buildings.
But do take a drive on the above listed streets in Old Orchard, as well as the following ones in Pine Point: Pine Point Rd, Blue Point Rd, Black Point Rd, Dunstan Corner, Portland Rd aka Rt 1, Payne Rd, and all the little side streets off of each one. In Saco head to Heath St, Jenkins Rd, Flag Pond Rd (stop and see the very real pet cemetery where Stephen King's The Pet Cemetery movie was filmed while you are there), and all their side streets, yes those are in the Scarbourogh Marsh as well... and instead of just blindly driving through the Marsh on your way to work, slow down and start counting the crosses... big white crosses, little white crosses, unpainted wooden crosses, reflector covered orange crosses... see if you can find all one hundred and twenty crosses in the Scarbourogh Marsh... they sit in 5 towns, in 2 counties... and every one of them marks the location of someone who was beheaded by a still uncaught, still actively killing people, serial killer who has plagued the streets in the Portland Ave region of the Scarbough Marsh since June 2001.
But as you can see, it's Timmy Murphy who was beheaded on the Cascade Rd... not Todd Murphy... there's it's cross which has stood there since June 2013.
You know, if these harassers spent more time paying attention to what is going on around them, and less time being self absorbed jerks... they'd know these crosses were here... they'd know, Old Orchard Beach has a serial killer on the lose who has beheaded more then 120 people and left their bodies at cross road intersections all over the marsh... they'd know that this has been going on for 18 years now, and they'd know that my family had been hit by this madman multiple times now, fist killing my cousin Timmy Murphy, then killing my baby and leaving me not only crippled, but also one of only 5 people to live through and survive one of this serial killer's attacks, thus WHY the FBI is so hyper focused on not letting me out of their sight because this killer has a history of not leaving people alive... they'd know that SEVENTEEN families all within a quarter mile section of Portland Ave, between Walnut St and Milekin Miles Rd, 17 families in this space of street, have not only have their families murdered, but their houses bulldozed by a backhoe, and in just those 17 families, in addiction to the dead people, there are also more then FIVE HUNDRED dead pets, including cats, dogs, birds, and horses, every one of which was beheaded and the headless pet hung from rope nooses and draped in trees and porches of the 17 families... something the FBI says is a scene from a Stephen King book, which the serial killer likes to recreate... and then the FBI points out this: each of those 17 families has appeared in The Thinner movie... it's the one common thread for ALL 120+ Scarbourough Marsh killings: every sing victim has somehow been involved in the filming on one of the 14 Stephen King movies which was filmed in Saco, Old Orchard Beach, and Scarboughor back in the 1980s. According to the FBI, EVERY SINGLE ONE of these murders, animal killings, harassments, vandalisms, and hate crimes, can be found in a Stephen King book and this lunatic is recreating "art" in tribute to Stephen King, using the bodies of family members who were involved in the filming of Stephen King's oldest movies.
If these people in the Sanford Ward church would take their heads out of Joesph Smith's ass long enough to look around, they would have known these things were going on, that they were going on to people in their congregation, that several members of their congregation have stopped attended church because they were murdered, that several other members of their congregation no longer attend because like me they are crippled and bed ridden from these attacks, and that 24 members of their congregation no longer attend church because they are in prison for their connections and involvements in these murders.
Heck, these murders have been all over the TV and paper news for 18 years now... you'd think the people of the Saco and Sanford Ward LDS churches - who are the ones in my driveway bitch screaming about Todd Murphey for the past 2 years now - would at least have seen enough TV news or newspaper news... oh look, did you know one of the big name newscasters on TV, someone who has in fact covered the Scarbough Marsh case on TV several times now, is a member of the Sanfard Ward congregation, and even SHE knows what's going on, obviously because she's one of the reporters who keeps showing up to interview all us families who live in in the Scarborough Marsh... so I know not everyone in the Sandford Ward is clueless as to what has been going on in the community round them.... several of these church members are outright screaming, literally screaming from my neighbor's front porch in Biddeford, that they never heard of any of this before... I'm sorry... what the fuck?
The Scarbourough Marsh murders is quite literally the biggest unsolved murder case in all of New England, not just Maine, it's been covered by DateLine, 20/20 and half the crime network tv shows! The fucking planet has heard of it! These people are telling me, literally, while standing on my neighbors front porch and shrieking at the tops of their lungs, that they never heard of this murder case, a murder case I've not stopped talking about for the last 9 years because as of 9 years ago now members of my family have been murdered.. heck, with so many deaths now, it's pretty hard to find any family in the Scarbourough Marsh who DOESN'T have a dead relative killed by this nutjob... and these people, who vandalized our apartment building so bad that the landlord has a repair crew here all of this next upcoming summer... these vandals and hate fueled harassers from the Sandford Ward church, are telling me, that they had no clue any of this was going on?
And worse... y Atwater relatives... they keep showing up and ALSO saying they never heard of this... really? How? I know the FBI has been talking to them about it because they keep showing up in a rage yelling that the FBI was just at their house and it's all my fault and demanding I stop sending the FBI to their house... but I didn't send the FBI to their house, heck, I didn't even know they were related to me, as I never heard of them before they showed up to yell at me, so how the hell do they think I sent the FBI over there? What the fuck?
But also... what the fuck? Family members have been murdered and as far as I know, the FBI is trying to locate every relative to find out if they might have any information about a member of their family being murdered... I mean, if these people really are relatives, like they scream that they are when they are in my yard yelling at me, then, someone in my family being murdered IS ALSO someone in THEIR family being murdered.... and yeah, of course the law enforcement is going to go to every family member and ask for info, that's what law enforcement does, because, they just naturally assume that normal families help each other and WANT to solv a murder that happened in their family.
Which is something FBI Agent Andy Drewer pointed out to me, he said: "The Atware relatives of yours... they're pretty paranoid aren't they? I'm having trouble getting any of them to talk to me. Most slam the door in my face the minute I say I'm with the FBI. They act like they got something to hide. Looks mighty suspicious. Can you think of any reason why any of your uncles might want you dead?" That was the same day he pointed out that his five top suspects for the November 14, 2013 attack were my uncle Bruce, my aunt Barbara, my mother, my father, and Ben. He said he can prove they all knew about the golf club attack, and yet everyone of them is openingly, publicly denying any knowledge of it, and all five of them are doing their most public outspoken, over the top denying it in two places: The Saco Ward LDS Church and the Sandford Ward LDS Church.
And most disturbing of all is this: He says my father was having an affair with a woman named Claire back in the 1970s, and that my father and my mother and Claire and Claire's husband have been feuding since the late 1970s, a fued which goes on to this day... and... that on ALL of my mother's social media accounts, FaceBook, Twitter, Pinterest, everything, are two usernames that show up in her friends' lists: both with the same last name, one using the username Claire while posting a 4 door white truck as her user photo, and the other... wait for it... has the user name: KendraSilvermander".
Yep.
The FBI has found an actual person, a relative, in law of the Atwaters, who goes by the username KendraSilvermander.
Why is this significant?
The people who murdered my son at BugLight Light house art studio at Southern Maine Community College on November 14, 2013, was a blond woman whom the other two called "Claire", a red haired woman who was chanting: "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine! I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine! I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine! I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!..." like she was singing a song... both women looked to be in their 60s, and today a decade later, would now be in their mid-70ish, and were with a large bald man, about 30th, today would be about 40ish, and the 3 of them left in a 4 door white pickup truck.
The odd thing is, people don't talk about themselves in 3rd person limited, but, that's what the red haired woman was doing.... and I've seen her before... she showed up at Westbrook Panera 3 different occasions in 2009 and 2010 and in each of those instances also did the same marching goosestep around, back then carrying a white poodle wearing a purple dragon coat... while again saying "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!" while also bragging that her father owned Saco FunTownSplashtown USA and having a psychotic meltdown screaming" My chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!" Annalese, the woman sitting next to me, another published author, as thi was a NaNoWriMo writer's meeting, who was the NaNoWriMo Ml of Souther Maine, leaned over and whispered to me "That's Kendra Silvermander, she thinks she's he ML, we try to humor her. She can get rather violent if you don't."
Whoever this red haired woman is, she has a server, mega in need of medical care, mental disorder, appears to be incapable of functioning beyond the mental level of a two year old, and is quite proud of repeating her name as fast as an auctioneer. But, she speaks in 3rd person limited about herself, using us and ours and we to refer to herself, and uses the phrase: "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!" as though it was a period at the end of every sentence. I don't know what sort of a mental disorder she has, but Annelese was right, this woman gets over the top violent, as we quickly saw at Westbrook Panera in 2009, when she started slamming her dog on the table while chanting "My chair", and then quickly lashed out at me, in a mega violent rage of throwing chairs. The restaurant had to drag her out and make her leave.
She repeated this at three different writer's meetings at the Westbrook Panera in 2009 and 2010.
She is the same woman who was ordering/leading/demanding the blond Claire woman's golf club attack at Southern Maine Community college November 14, 2013, murdering my baby and crippling me.
She returned for a 5th attack June 26, 2016, again with the bond Claire woman, this time at Scarborough WalMart, and this time attacking with a shopping cart, this being the attack that caused the inoperable 3 broken vertebrae and the organ and nerve damage which caused my current crippled stat. In this attack, yet again the red haired woman was chanting: "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!" but this time the blond woman was shrieking: "That's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband. That thing is Ken's son, look at how IT's dressed! Kill or be killed! Remember Saco Shaws! No more heads in ice cream! End the gaypocalypse! Kill the transvestite freak! Too Gay for the Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach!" This time instead of driving away in a 4 door white truck driven by a bald man, this time he two women were alone and drove away in a gold Volvo late 1990s vintage suv station wagon.
The usernames now showing up on my mother's social media, and the Atwater relative's social media is significant, because, according the these FBI agents.... those are the exact same Atwaters who are REFUSING to talk to the FBI, slamming the doors in the FBI agents faces, and also, are the most vocal on social media in spreading the alien/UFO/witchcraft/cat rumors about me. And the FBI believes they not only know who the golf club murderer is, they likely were involved in planning the November 14, 2013 attack... and every one of them has been seen with the Sanford Ward LDS Church members who are likewise the biggest defamatory gossipers, running around slandering my name with their lies about witchcraft/curses/aliens/ufos/and cats.
AND... on top of that... they ae the EXACT SAME Atwaters ans Sandford Ward church members whom have spent the last two years bombarding my Biddeford apartment with these same rumors while the vandalize the building, which the landlord now has to spend the summer repairing.
AND... these are the same people who are also claiming, they had no clue these murders were going on in the Scarborough Marsh.
Overall... these people who are denying the events of the Scarborough Marsh murders, while simaltaniously going overboard gibbering lies about me online, are really working overtime at making themselves look like they were involved in the November 14, 2013 murder of my son, and making themselves look tremendously guilty of not only knowing who the killier is, but trying to cover up for the killer, and attempting to gaslight me with their weird alien rumors, in an attempt to make people not see their connection to the killer, that they are trying so very blatently to hide and are only succeeding and shining a mega sized spotlight of suspision on themselves, leaving everyone who is watching them doing it to ask: What the fuck did they do, that they are trying to hide so damned bad, that they are going mega big time slanderfeat screaming about aliens and ufos all over social media, trying to convince people that I believe in aliens and ufos when there are 40+ years of documented evidance of me debuncking aliens and proving their ufo accusations to a be a hoax they created to cover their own asses over a drug raid from 1982? And now they are rearing up their alien accusations again, which again, I can prove to be a hoax, because... what are they trying to cover up THIS time? Last time they rolled out the alien accusations they were trying to blame literal toddlers for the 1982 drug raid, by saying that 4, 5, and 6 year old children saw aliens... 72 people were arrested in the 1982 drug raid... there were no aliens... if anyone was seeing aliens, it was the drug addicted having drug induced hallucinations... and yet, those same drug dealers, now out of prison, are once again pointing to aliens, this time because they are mad that the FBI showed up to ask if they knew anything about the murder of my son.
???
Can I ask, what the fuck does not real, fictional aliens they saw because of drugs, during a 1982 drug raid, what does that have to do with my son being murdered?
And are they really that retarded that they think I control the FBI and tell the FBI what to do? What the fuck? Them coming over here and screaming for me to stop sending the FBI to their house, when I didn’t even know these people were relatives, never heard of them before, and wouldn’t even have had a way t tell the FBI a blooming thing about them at all, just makes them look suspicious, because for one thing: who even are these people? I still don’t know who they are! And for another thing, why do they think I sent the FBI over to them? And again: who are they? There are over 400 Atwaters and I’ve only ever met 7 of them, I don’t know the names or faces of any of the others, I don’t even know all the names or faces of the original 12, so I can’t figure out how they’d think I would know the names or faces of any of the kids, grandkids, or great grandkids of the original 12. What the fuck?
How are the Atwaters so full of themselves that they think I would have one iota of a clue anything about them, when I’ve never met them and I don’t even know their names… and also… why would I care? Tell me that? Do you know any sane person who knows the names of their parents in-laws.
Yes… my parents in-laws… in-laws of in-laws… not even blood relatives, but the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandkids, and great grandkids of in laws of my parents’ in laws… who in their right mind would even know the names of such distant relatives…
You, reading this right now… can you name your parent’s cousins? Do you know the names of your mother’s uncle’s great grand kids? Do you?
Can you see how utterly stupidly ridiculous the Atwaters are being, when they show up here yelling and screaming, and expect that I should know who they are or what the fuck they are talking about:
Newsflash: normal people don’t live in 400 person large family herds.
Normal people don’t live in herds.
Normal people don’t swamp in shark style frenzies in the driveways of distant relatives of your great grand pappies 5th removed cousin of an in-law, either. What the actual fuck?
And on top of everything else, there are Awaters running around screaming that I am vandalising some grave… the grave of a distant relative whom I never heard of before, so I don’t even know where the grave is… when I’m here bedridden and crippled and not even capable of going to visit my own son’s grave because… oh look: I’m crippled and stuck in bed with a broken spine and severed spinal cord for the past nine years!
You know… if you are going to accuse someone of going somewhere to vandalize something, you might want to first make sure that person is not wheelchair bound, bedridden, and crippled for a decade with a broken spine, so unable to even get to the place you are accusing them of going!
Also… since the day my son was murdered, I have a camera running 24/7 so, it’s pretty foolish of you to lie about me when I can not only prove you are lying, I can also prove every time you’ve been screaming in my driveway, because I have you on camera. They didn’t think of that did they? Oh no, of course not, why would they? They were too busy thinking about those aliens and witches they can’t stop gibbering about.
But look at this cross... Do you remember Timmy Murphy? He was the 5 year old with curly black hair, who was also accused of aliens during that 1982 drug raid. They called us The White Monkey Children, because we found Helen Pearly's missing pet white monkey. And the people arrested during the 1982 drug raid, many of them Atwaters, pointed to that white monkey that had escaped from White Animal Farm, a zoo in Old Orchard at the time, they pointed to that white money and called it an alien. Helen Pearly, look her up, is the founder of the Scarbourgh Marsh preserve, an animal preserve that started out with one pet white monkey, and is today, many thousands of acres of protected land known by the name The Scarboughorgh Marsh.
Can you see NOW why the idiots screaming aliens are seen as so damned idiotic?
But can you also see the names on the cross?
https://www.eelkat.com/images/cross.jpg
There were 31 children involved in helping Helen Pearly capture her escaped pet white money.
Drive through the scarborough marsh looking at the names of the beheaded victims on those crosses... 29 of the 31 White Monkey Children are now dead, killed and tossed in the marsh, where 40 years ago, they helped little old lady look for her lost pet albino monkey.
Every one of them accused of being alien abductees; accusations which was screamed ONLY by the drug dealers and drug users of the 1982 drug raid, which took place in the Scarbourough Marsh.
The only people who accuse me of aliens are the people now out of prison, who went to prison because of the 1982 drug raid... a drug raid known to locals as "The 458 Shoot Out" due to one woman screaming "Four! Five! Eight!" in between each time she loaded up her shotgun.
Everybody that has shown up in the marsh since June 2001, has been either one of the now adult White Monkey Children, or one of their children or grandchildren.
EVERY - SINGLE - ONE.
Go to the marsh, look for the crosses. Read the names. My cousin Timmy Murphy's cross is not the only one and if you open your eyes and start looking at the side streets all through the marsh, you'll see one hundred and twenty of these crosses, some with 5 or more names on them. Crosses the entire country has seen on Dateline, 20/20, and dozens of unsolved crime shows... crosses that the Atwarers and their friends at the Sandford Ward church, are right now, this very week, posting all over social media, claiming aren't there, claiming I'm the only one talking about them, when clearly I'm not seeing hoe Dateline and 20/20 are pret big international news shows... and also claiming "Yeah EeelKat's crazy, she believes in aliens" when its extremely well documented my not believing in aliens and my debunking alien abductions as hoaxes... and these same people are also trying to convince people on social media "cats!".... but the cats were my mother's not mine, and my son was murdered November 14, 2013, two years before my mother's cat incident occurred.
These people are making total idiots of themselves, because all any one has to do is look up the new reports about the Scarbourough Marsh murders and the Cascade Murders to see that since June 2001, a LOT of people here in the marsh have been murdered, and originally they were not thought to b connected, but, now it is known that they are.
I wish these crazy ass Atwaters and their weird Todd Murphy obsessed Sanford Ward lunatics and their alien abduction ufo nuts, would leave me and my family alone. I don’t know what their problem is or why they are so obnoxiously hell bent on stalking my family and harassing us like this, but I am getting pretty damned sick of it. I have enough shit to deal with with, oh, I don’t know, half my family being murdered, my son’s killer still being on the loose, 9 years bedridden and still relearning to walk, … I don’t need these fucktards jumping into my life and trying to grab their 15 minutes of fame by tampering with the FBI’s investigation into hunting down my son’s murderer.
Know the truth. The truth will set you free.
Does Anyone Ever Succeed at Self-Publishing?
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How do you know a story (a series or stand alone) would be successful? And if it succeeds or flops, would you continue writing related stories or move on to something else?
I have a bit of a dilemma.
I wrote this urban fantasy trilogy inspired by manga (and related books) which sold over 100 copies combined. So I'm thinking of continuing the trilogy by creating spinoffs, sequels, and so forth. But the problem is that I have mixed reactions (reviews) that make me doubt whether I should continue writing.
Probably the mistake I should have realized is that I should have tested the idea first. I should have tested the idea on social media and websites like Wattpad by posting the first chapter to see any possible reaction. If it did, then I moved forward (the idea isn't mine but from another author who suggests to post many 1st chapters to see which gets the most reaction.)
So I want to know if I can continue writing further stories in the series or cut my loses and move on to something else? And even if I did, I'm not sure which story would be successful. I don't want to spend months or years of my life writing a series that nobody wants to read. I have tons of story ideas that I want to write but I don't want to risk time writing the wrong story.
My books aren't written in the typical manner that readers of most genres expect. Because of this, it's difficult to put them in a category without upsetting readers who regularly consume said books.
I came up with 100 sold copies as a ballpark from the recent royalty check I received from Amazon (almost $100). I had the first book free while the second was 99 cents while the third costs $2.99. Plus, I have a short story supplement at 99 cents too.
At this point, I simply want to build my reader base.
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Alright...
first off, you’ve asked a lot of things that trigger some red
flags. I’ll explain that as we go along. Expect some bitchiness,
because I tend to come off as super bitchy when those red flags show
up.
That said...
You’ve published a trilogy. That’s great! You are already leaps and bounds ahead of millions of writers who sit around day dreaming and never write a full chapter let alone publish a story.
You’ve also published a short story. That’s good too. That means you can diversify. This also puts you ahead of many others.
Most authors are good at only ONE type of writing.
Novels. Novellas. Short stories. Short-Shorts. Plays. And that’s just non-fiction. Each one has a unique style and often an author who is good at one is terrible at the others. Most who write Short Stories are never able to master the art of writing novels. Most novelists will never successfully write a stage play. Novella writers often can’t write Short Stories or Novels.
There is nothing wrong with sticking to one format. Most do.
But there is also nothing wrong with working in 2 or more formats either.
That you are publishing multiple formats, means you are able to cater to multiple audiences, which opens you up to reaching a wider group of readers.
That said, this can also work against you.
Some readers ONLY want to read novels and will NEVER read a short story even if it’s written by their favourite author and part of their favourite series.
Likewise many people who read short stories will never read a novel.
Well, when you write BOTH novels and short stories you end up with 3 audiences.
* One group will read ONLY your novels.
* One group will read ONLY your short stories.
* One group will read BOTH your novels and your short stories.
Now at first this MAY seem good, BUT... comments, reviews, and social media messages will soon show you that this can result in a VERY HIGH RATE of 1 star reviews.
Why?
* The group who read ONLY your novels, will lash out with vehement, hate filled, self-righteous indigence on every short story. The same people who leave the glowing 5 star reviews on your novels will be the people leaving the most scathing hate filled 1 star reviews on your short stories.
* The group who read ONLY your short stories, will lash out with vehement, hate filled, self-righteous indigence on every novel. The same people who leave the glowing 5 star reviews on your short stories will be the people leaving the most scathing hate filled 1 star reviews on your novels.
This means if you write 2 novels, sell 100 copies, you’ll get 50 good reviews and 50 bad reviews.
This means if you write 2 short stories, sell 100 copies, you’ll get 50 good reviews and 50 bad reviews.
BUT... this means if you write 2 novels AND 2 short stories, sell 100 copies, you’ll get 100 good reviews and 100 bad reviews.
YES... same amount of sales, but twice as many reviews.
Why?
Because Amazon does not require the book to be purchased, for a person to write a review.
So, everyone who left good reviews after buying your novel, will leave bad reviews on your short story with out ever buying or reading it.
So, everyone who left good reviews after buying your shot story, will leave bad reviews on your novel with out ever buying or reading it.
Unfair?
Yes.
But it’s what people do.
It means: if you write 1 novel and 100 short stories, you’ll get 1 novel sale, 1 good review on the novel, and zero short story sales but 100 bad reviews 1 on each short story, without ever selling a single short story.
Yes.
This happens... ALL THE TIME.
It has happened to tens of hundreds of thousands of authors.
And THIS is WHY most every full time career author spends so much time telling newbie authors to not even bother reading reviews at all.
This is also WHY so many full time career authors also tell newbies that if they want to write both shorts and novels to use a different penname for each.
Okay, let’s do a line by line answer of your question.
>>>How do you know a story (a series or stand alone) would be successful?
There is no way to know and you are foolish if you think you can try to figure it out. And anyone who tells you otherwise is just a scam artist trying to sell you something.
Years ago, I would have told you to research the market, see what is selling best for others, and decide if you want to write that type of story. Now I say, fuck that and write whatever the hell you want to write.
Why the change?
Is it bad advice?
No.
Researching the market is still good advice.
But, in my 4 decades of publishing lots and lots and lots of things, and telling others to research the market that entire time, I’ve seen far too many others who got hung up on researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching and researching...
...and than after 10 or 20 years of researching they came back to me and said researching was bad advice, because they never found anything to publish, and blamed me for being the reason why they spent 20 years researching and never once published a thing.
Uhm...
Yeah.
If you are a lazy ass procrastinator who is incapable of motivating yourself to publish anything, and waste 20 years doing nothing but “researching”, well that ain’t my problem. That’s a you problem, not a me problem.
I wish this was a rare event, but, I get 200 or 300 emails EVERY MONTH that are nothing but “I’m not published and it’s all your fault because you wrote an article telling to research the market and I’ve been researching the market and I never had time to publish anything and it’s all your fault.”
I never told people to research the market 24/7 and never lift a finger to do anything else.
Sheesh.
How retarded can you get?
What I said was to look and see what others are currently writing and see if that’s something you are interested in writing too.
Are vampires popular this year? Well, than maybe you should write a vampire story or two.
Don’t like vampires? No worries. Look around at what else is selling.
Are grey eyed billionaires named Grey the in thing this month? Well, maybe you should write a story about those. Don’t like them? Well than write about what you do like.
I don’t understand why it is so difficult to understand what researching the market means. It doesn’t mean to spend weeks, months, years studying trends. Yes, you can do that, to get long term projections over time. Sure. But that isn’t going to help you decide if the book you want to write this week and publish next week will sell the week after.
>>>How do you know a story (a series or stand alone) would be successful?
You don’t.
You make an educated guess based on what others are publishing right now this week.
And if you are not someone who can write a first draft in a week or less, than it’s pointless to watch what it currently selling, because market trends CHANGE EVERY WEEK!
So if you spend 20 years researching the market... that’s 52 weeks times 20 equals 1,040 trends you missed out on writing about and publishing.
And THAT is why I no longer say to research the market to see what others are writing right now.
The problem with following trends (and why I never do it) is that it implies your book is only going to be relevant for 1 week/month/year.
It implies your book will never be a classic that people will still be reading 100 years from now.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be like Charles Dickens or Edgar Allan Poe... still relevant and readable 200 years later.
How many New York Time’s Bestsellers can you name? How many have you read? Will you remember any of them next year? Will you even remember them next week?
I feel that if you count your success based on how many people write you glowing 5 star reviews, than you are cutting yourself short.
If no one will remember you 200 years after you are dead, were you really that successful at all?
If you publish by ebook only and never have a physical book, you won’t be remembered next year let alone 200 years from now.
Clearly you and I see success differently, because I see simpering for good reviews as a sign of weakness, an author with no self confidence, an author who writes only to get attention, and not a real author at all, but rather a whinny brat who will do anything for views, reviews, reads... you are no different than the tittie streamers who bounce their boobs for views. You have no morals, no standards, no foundation. You do whatever, whenever to hear the crowd cheer.
Authors like you make me sick.
Any dead fish can float with the flow, only a live fish has the strength to swim upstream.
You flounder to the whims of reader reviews and that makes you weak.
That said...
Your use of grammar is none standard and a bit confusing, so I’m having difficulty understanding what exactly you are trying to convey, and this definitely could be contributing to the bad reviews.
People who read, tend to be college graduates and have a full working knowledge of advantaged college level English grammar and are not going to be very forgiven of an author who is too incompetent to at least try to use correct grammar.
If your grammar is this messed up in just a simple emailed question, I’d hate to see how messed up it is in your books.
Know-nothing teens who can’t tell a comma from a period will not notice the lack of good grammar and will gush love for your story, but adults will struggle to get past a single page if your grammar is bad.
You should definitely consider taking some remedial Adult Ed classes in English Grammar, or even consider getting a degree in English Literature, Creative Writing, Journalism, Grammar, Teaching High School Literature, or something similar.
Gaining a good working grasp on the English language is a REQUIREMENT to have a successful writing career.
Sure you can sell a few books here and a few books there without any education at all, but if you have your heart set on successful sales and a high rate of good reviews, which is what you’ve said you want, than you MUST have the best, most pristine use of grammar possible. You NEED to get at LEAST an Associates Degree in English Literature, Creative Writing, Journalism, Grammar, Teaching High School Literature, or something similar.
The better the degree, the better your ability to write on a “successful” level.
Remember the more you study and practice your art, the better you will get at it.
* An Associates Degree is 2 years of studying English grammar.
* A Bachelors Degree is 4 years of studying English grammar.
* A Masters Degree is 8 years of studying English grammar.
* A PhD is 12 years of studying English grammar.
Think about it.
A 10 year old boy can play football and be the best on his team, but he won’t win the Super Bowl until he goes to college and trains for years and years and years and years and just keeps practising and practising and improving.
Now sure, he COULD train on his own and be the best football player in his town, but, without a coach he won’t see his own flaws and he’ll keep making those same mistakes over and over.
Sure all that practice in the back yard has made him good, but it has also made him blind to seeing his flaws as well.
When he goes to college and trains with others, he has his coach and team mates there to point out his errors and help him fix those mistakes so that he STOPS MAKING ERRORS and starts to play the CORRECTLY in the PROPER manner.
Once he sees his errors and follows his coach’s instructions to fix them, he becomes even better at his craft, and starts winning the big college games, and soon he’s playing in the pros, and before long he’s playing at the Super Bowl.
But he never would have made it to the Super Bowl if he continued practising on his own in the back yard.
Writing and publishing is just like football.
Sure you can do it on your own, self publish, do your own editing, make your own covers.
Nothing wrong with that. Lots of writers do it. I do it myself. It’s great. It’s fun. BUT... if you want to be “successful” you need to train.
Yes, practice makes perfect, but if you practice by yourself, you won’t ever see your own flaws and you’ll just keep practising the same mistakes and instead of becoming a better writer, you’ll just become very good at repeating the same mistakes you always made.
In order to become a big time successful writer, you NEED to go to college and train with others. Have a writing coach (professor) who can see your flaws, point them out to you, and show you how to fix them.
And when you learn to write clean copy in pristine perfect correct and proper grammar, you’ll suddenly see yourself go from selling 100 copies a month to 1,000 copies a day, and instead of receiving mostly bad reviews, you’ll start receiving mostly good reviews.
That said...
Back to what I was saying...
Your use of grammar is none standard and a bit confusing, so I’m having difficulty understanding what exactly you are trying to convey, and this definitely could be contributing to the bad reviews... but I’m having trouble understanding how many sales you have.
You say 100 books sold.
You mention a trilogy and a short story.
You say you made $100 from selling them at .99c.
Uhm...
None of this adds up.
Either your grammar is worse than an illiterate drunk’s grammar or you are worse at Maths than I am or you’ve missed telling me everything.
I’m not sure how to translate what you have said in regards to how many books your written/published vs how many books you have sold.
I’ll get into this in more detail in a minute, because if you are selling your books for .99c and you made $100, than means you sold 300 books, not 100 books.
I’ll do the math in a minute and get you the exact numbers, but first...
Wither it’s 100 books sold or 300 books sold, the fact remains, that you have said you just published and your first month’s pay is $100.
That’s good.
That’s very good.
And you don’t seem to realize just how good that really is.
MOST self published authors will got 3 or 4 or more years before seeing their first $100 check. So for you to get a $100 within your first month, that’s astoundingly way above and beyond what the average self-pubbed author can ever dream of achieving.
You, my friend, are WAY more successful than you realize.
MOST self-pubbed authors would kill to be in your shoes.
You need a reality check.
You are all upset, thinking of giving up, because you ONLY made $100 your first month and you got a lot of bad reviews.
Honey, thank your lucky stars that you got any reviews at all. The bulk of self-pubbed books on Amazon sit for decades without ever receiving one single, solitary review.
AND the average self-pubbed book sells fewer than 10 copies per year... the average is for 1 sale once every other month. Those numbers come from Amazon’s IRS tax records.
From the numbers you gave, you’ve sold around 300 copies of your books the first month of release, which insanely good numbers, and you are bitching and moaning about giving up?
Damn! I’d hate to see the level of morbidity you take if you were in the average and only sold 1 copy per month!
You are doing so much BETTER than MOST of the self pubbed authors on Amazon. You really don’t have any grounds or justification for this pity party you are having.
You plan to give up on a series, because it ONLY sold 100 copies?
Honey, open your eyes.
Your series IS a success and you should be writing MORE in it, not giving up on it.
Do you realize that by selling 100 copies, you are at MY level of success.
Yes.
I’m one of the world’s top selling self published authors and most of my books have sold fewer than 1,000 copies TOTAL per volume in 42+ years.
Stop and think about that.
You contacted me, asking me for advice, and you have better sales average than I do.
Honey, has it sunk in yet, you insanely good your sales are?
You published 3 novels and 1 short story a month ago and already you have sold 300 copies.
With numbers like that, you really are one of the top selling self pubbed authors on Amazon this month.
Harsh reality that a lot of newbies don’t want to face, but there it is.
You are a LOT more successful than you think.
Yes, there are millions of blog posts and articles from authors “CLAIMING” to have millions of sales and $millions of earnings, BUT... one only has to look at the sales numbers Amazon posts on EVERY book’s sale’s page, so see the truth and Amazon is a public company, meaning you can buy stock shares, and because of that Amazon is REQUIRED BY LAW to publicly post their detailed itemized IRS tax records.
The itemized tax records lists WHO Amazon paid and HOW MUCH Amazon paid the.
This means the full REAL name (and email, phone number, and home address) of EVERY Kindle author is on the list. The list shows under their name, ALL of their pennames, lists how many copies of each book (and pages read) was sold that year, and how much money in royalties Amazon paid them.
One has only to look at Amazon’s itemized tax records to see that a good 80%+ Kindle authors are LYING about both their sales totals and their income earned.
Amazon lists 3... THREE ... ONLY 3 authors whom have earned a $million in Kindle book sales.
Amazon lists over 9 million Kindle authors whom have NEVER received a penny AT ALL – EVER.
According to Amazon’s own public release of their IRS tax records, fewer than 1,000 Kindle published authors earn more than $5,000 a year, while more than 3MILLION Kindle published authors earn only $100 once every 5 years, and fewer than 30 Kindle published authors have ever earned more than $100,000 TOTAL since 2010 and only 3 (three) Kindle published authors have ever reached earning $1million dollars.
And looking at Amazon’s 3 Kindle Millionaires:
* one of them publishes 12 novels a year – 1 per month, and has done so since 2013; - he writes Western Murder Mysteries (think Cowboys and Indians meets Sherlock Holmes) – yes, he IS the one who scammed Amazon out of millions with his fake review scam, yes, you do remember him from such TV shows as Lost and Survivor, yes, he did go to prison for IRS tax fraud, yes, he IS still writing/publishing new volumes from his prison cell – Amazon’s top selling self published Kindle author will one day get to spend his money, decades from now when he finally gets out of prison
* one publishes weekly novellas – 52 books published per year, and has done so since 2011; - she writes Lycan Erotica (Monster Porn focused on knotting sex with wolf men – more than half her books were banned by Amazon for featuring bestiality and are now available on SmashWords instead – she sells more books and makes more money than her sister in law who was the author of 50 Shades of Grey)
* and the other one publishes 6 to 8 novels a year, one book every other month, and has done so since 2010. - she writes Emo Teen Vampire Romance, yep, that one, no, not Twilight, the Diary one, yep – those are self published - and her books have been made into 8 movies and 3 TV shows – yes the Diary series sells more copies and earns more money than the Twilight series
All 3 of them have well over 500 books up for sale on their Amazon author pages.
Think about that for a minute.
Amazon’s 3 Kindle Millionaires (yes there are ONLY 3 Kindle Millionaires) had to be publishing books either weekly or monthly for 5+ years BEFORE they earned enough money to live on, long before they earned $1million.
Far too many new writers expect to publish one novel and be a millionaire next week. They have no clue how very little authors actually earn and how very much authors have to publish to earn a liveable income.
Most weeks, my Kindle income averages around $11 a week, jumping to $100+ only the week/month of a new release, and that puts me in Amazon’s list of being one of their top 1,000 bestselling Kindle authors.
THINK ABOUT THAT, next time you feel like saying $100 a month is NOT successful.
By making $100 a month, you make more than me, and I’m listed on Amazon’s top 1,000 list.
You are WAY more successful than you think you are.
You sold 300 copies your first month.
You made $100 your first month.
You are doing great!
You are doing above average!
You are doing better than me, and I’m in the top 1,000 and that means YOU are in the top 1,000 too.
Open your eyes.
Take a reality check.
Far too many scam artists glamorize sales numbers and income figures.
And if you pay attention to the ones making the big number claims... they do it on posts that end by asking you to buy their book on how to be the next Kindle millionaire. They ain’t making big sales and big money on novels, they are scamming you with fake ass numbers – numbers that can be PROVEN fake by looking at Amazon’s IRS tax release records – to trick you into buying a book that they couldn’t sell otherwise.
When you look at the REAL numbers and not the fake ass glorified numbers, self pubbed authors are not making as much money as rumours say, nor do they have as big sales as many claim.
Sad fact of the matter is, many authors believe that the only way to get sales is if they already have sales, so they brag about fake sales, to try to get real sales. But their claims are easy to prove false, if you just pay attention to the REAL numbers posted right on Amazon’s website, for everyone to see.
Most people don’t know the numbers are there so they don’t know to look for them, and just believe the fake numbers that authors spout off on their blogs and social media.
Funny thing is, MOST of the authors who do this, are also unaware that if you scroll to the bottom of their book’s sales page, Amazon lists a sales rank number, one for over all sales against all books, and one for sales in just the book’s genre/category. Any idiot can find this number. Every book has one and it changes every 30 minutes, so it’s always accurate.
The IRS tax records number is more difficult to find. Head to the Help section of Amazon, and keep searching around until you find the FAQs section about taxes. A bit more searching will bring you to the tax form. It’s huge, spanning thousands of pages if printed up.
But once you see the ACTUAL numbers, look at YOUR numbers compared to the numbers of the authors who brag they make millions and sell millions... you’ll see how much higher ranked you are from them, and that’s when you’ll really see how good you are doing at 300 sales and $100 earned your first month.
>>>And if it succeeds or flops, would you continue writing related stories or move on to something else?
I have written 138 novels and 2,000+ short stories, for a series that most volumes sold fewer than 1,000 copies, many selling fewer than 100 copies, having not even ten volumes to sell more than 10,000 copies, and having only 2 volumes ever reach “best seller” status, both reaching #1 placement in various “best seller” charts, though neither reaching anything close to the “1 million copies sold in under 6 months of first publication” that is required to be a New York Times Bestseller.
The series is largely considered a flop by most publishing standards, and is often seen as the laughing stock by many “best seller” authors who are quick to lash out frightful bullying and hateful comments any time their own sales flop and they feel the need to make themselves feel better by hurting other authors.
The difference between you and me is the motivation behind why we write.
You write because you love hearing praise.
I write because I love my characters and would rather spend time with them, than Humans.
You desire Humans to kiss your ass.
I desire for Humans to die.
You can't exit without Humans glorifying you.
The longer I exist, the more I desire to kill every Human I meet.
You think humans are great and seek their approval.
I've yet to meet a good, kind, loving, moral, or decent Human. I've been beaten, raped, tortured, mutilated, crippled, starved, and caged by Humans.
You want Humans to put you on a pedestal.
I want Humans to die.
You bend to the whims of Human demands.
I fight back and shatter the teeth out of Humans with the very same bricks they used to break my jaw.
You live to be praised by Humans.
My family was murdered by Humans.
You are blind to the true nature of Humanity.
I've seen Humans for the vile creatures they really are.
You think Humans will love you.
I know Humans are completely incapable of love.
You write about Humans and their relationships in hopes of winning human praises.
I write Elves who eat Humans.
You write to gain human glory.
I write to have someone to talk to, even if it is just a fictional Elf and his equally fictional unicorn.
You desire humans to acknowledge you.
I know Humans aren't worth the feces they shit out.
Success or flop has never been a motivating factor for me.
Success via sales or money or good reviews, is dependant upon humans and humans are vile, despicable creatures whom I loath.
I don’t write for Humans.
I write for me.
When I was 8 years old, Humans locked me in a cage. I was beaten daily with a brick. A foundation nail was driven through my hip. I received one salt herring once every 12 days, I was considered “mute” because my jaw and teeth were shattered so badly that I could talk. When the FBI raid rescued me and let me out of the cage I was 31 years old and barely weighed 70lbs, had to be talk how to walk, bath, brush hair and teeth, and I was 42 years old when it was discovered that I was NOT mute, but rather needed surgery to reconstruct my jaw and suddenly I could talk.
Things like school, doctors, friends, kindness, hugs, TV, these were things I had never heard of and knew nothing about.
I was 37 years old the first time anyone ever told me I was a Human, and even now, I do not believe it.
Unlike Humans, I feel love and pain. I feel pity and compassion. And because of this, I KNOW I am not Humans, because Humans are incapable of feeling love. Humans are incapable of being kind. Humans are evil.
When I was put in a cage at 8 years old, I was told it was because I was a Demon, a Changeling. My uncles convinced my mother, herself a child, closer in age to me than most sisters are to each other, that her real child had been taken by Satan and killed and me, the Demon left in it’s place.
Teams of hundreds of psychiatrists and psychologists from all around the world gathered to study me. The feral child, the caged child, the child whom had never been hugged, the child who was never loved,
The news reporters called it The Worst Child Abuse Case In American History.
That child was me.
I write, because I have no friends and don’t fool myself into think there exists out there a Human capable of ever loving me enough to want to be friends with me.
And so I write about Elves. Lives who kill Humans. Elves who are my friends, because I have no one else. I write long conversations with the Elves, because I’ve no one else to talk to or with.
This is the difference between you and I.
You lust for human approval.
I vomit in disgust at the very thought of human existence.
You are a fool who await humans to love you.
I know Humans are incapable of any such thing.
You seek the glory and praise of reviews written by humans.
Humans have only praise and glory to themselves. Humans are selfish. Humans are evil. Humans are the bringers of pain. Humans exist only to kill, steal, and destroy.
Humans will never love you.
Humans will only ever hurt you.
And so long as you are bound by your desire for Human praise, human glory, human written reviews, you will forever be their slave. You will never have freedom. You will always be looking to the next pat on the back, the next whisper of ego, and you'll never be free to write what you desire to write, because you'll always be groveling at human fee, waiting for their pitiful scraps.
I don’t care about genre.
I don’t care about marketing.
I don’t care about sales.
I don’t care about money.
I don’t care about praise.
I don’t care about reviews.
I don’t care if any one reads it.
None of these things motivates me.
All of those things are bonuses if they happen, but as they rely on Humans to happen, I do not expect them.
Even publication does not motivate me to write.
My motivation has come and gone long before the story is even published.
Companionship is my motivation.
I have no one to talk to.
I have no one to spend time with.
I have no one to love.
I am incredibly, unimaginably lonely.
I desire to have someone to talk to.
I desire to have someone to spend time with me.
I desire someone to love.
But I am unloved. Unwanted. Alone.
No human accepts me as part of their society.
No human has ever been my friend.
No human has ever wanted to talk to me.
I am motivated to write, friends.
I can find no one like me.
I live in a world filled with vile, evil, hateful Humans.
I appear to either be the last of my kind or the only one of my kind that ever was.
I am alone and surrounded by billions of Humans who hate every fibre of my soul and seek only to kill every pet I have, to destroy everything I own, Humans do nothing but kill, steal, and destroy, and so as they have hated me, so too do I now hate them.
I write, to create others like myself.
I write, to create friends to talk to.
I do not write to cater to readers.
I do not write to fit into a genre.
I write because I have no one to talk to.
I write to create someone who is willing to be my friend.
I write to create someone who is willing to talk to me.
This is why my novels are near entirely dialogue with almost no narration at all.
This is why my novels have no definable genre.
This is why my novels contain no action. No adventure. Just one character talking for 500 pages.
Most volumes I write fall into what many would call failures while very few have ever reached anything close to what most would call success. And this does not bother me, because those things neither motivate nor demotivate me.
I know every Human hates me and therefore I am never motivated by anything humans do.
Success in any has never spurred me to write more like it, while failures have never inspired me to not write more like it.
Success in any has never spurred me to write more like it, while failures have never inspired me to not write more like it.
The thing is, I’ve never been inspired by blowing to the will of others.
And what MOST people classify as success, I classify as you being castrated, stripped of your balls and your dignity, forced to grovel in hopes of favor from another.
What are you?
A man?
Or a dog?
I find myself utterly disgusted by what most people think of as success, and by what you clearly see as success.
Why do you need the approval of others to move forward?
Because you have no self worth.
You lack confidence in yourself so you rely on others to pat you on the back.
Is that REALLY success?
To me, that’s nothing but failure on the truest and purest of levels.
You fail at existing, because you can not exist on your own.
You need a crutch.
You need someone to lead you along and show you the way.
You are too much of a weak willed pussy to be able to stand up on your own two feet. And because of this, I see you as a failure.
You are a failure.
You are a failure because you are incapable of making your own decisions.
You are a failure because you are incapable of making your own choices.
You are a failure because you can only move forward if others pander to your selfish ego.
You are a failure because you are willing to give up when not enough people like you.
My advice?
Give up writing.
This career is not for you.
You’ll NEVER succeed, because there will always be haters. There will always be negative 1 star reviews. There will always be critics.
You can’t please everyone, and if you don’t even have the ability to please yourself, than give up now, because there is no point in you even trying to go forward.
You don’t have the mental strength, the emotional stamina, or the self worth for this business.
Millions dip their toes into the writing career, but rare is the person with the mental and emotional strength to succeed.
You MUST be able to stand on your own to succeed in this career.
You MUST be able to write what YOU want to write, without bending to the whims and wills of the market.
If you change what you write every time you get a bad review, you are doomed to fail before you even get started.
I want you to succeed, but I’m not sure you can. Just go back and re-read your question. Read it carefully. Perhaps you will than understand why I can not see any publishing success in your future.
If you are to succeed at this, or anything else in life, you NEED to change your attitude.
You NEED to have a strong self worth.
I can’t help you with that.
No one can.
That’s something you have to build up on your own.
>>>I wrote this urban fantasy trilogy inspired by manga (and related books) which sold over 100 copies combined. So I'm thinking of continuing the trilogy by creating spinoffs, sequels, and so forth.
First, this is completely irrelevant to the question you have asked.
If you are asking for advice on the genre, than telling what you write would be relevant.
If you were asking what sells, well, EVERYTHING sells, it’s just a matter of letting the people who read what you right know how to find your work, but again, this isn’t relevant to the rest of the question.
But than...
>>>I wrote this urban fantasy trilogy inspired by manga (and related books) which sold over 100 copies combined. So I'm thinking of continuing the trilogy by creating spinoffs, sequels, and so forth.
The words “inspired by manga (and related books)” concern me greatly.
Why?
I own a publishing house and was the editor in chief of 2 fiction based literary magazines for 16 years, and 90% of the manuscripts sent to us was “inspired by” something, and turned out to be, less than inspired and nothing short of outright plagiarism.
It is very rare for any manuscript to truly be ACTUALLY INSPIRED BY, as most writers have no clue how to use words correctly and don’t know the difference between inspiration and plagiarism.
I find much of your question very troubling.
I’m really not convinced you have what it takes to be a writer, let along an author.
And yes, a writer and an author are 2 separate things, and if you didn’t know that, well, that’s even more cause for concern.
>>>I wrote this urban fantasy trilogy ... which sold over 100 copies combined.
Are you aware that MOST self published authors NEVER sell even 10 copies total and would kill to be in your place with 100 sales from 3 books.
There are MILLIONS who dream of being as successful as you.
Yes, I understand the desire to be even more successful, but you need to put on some reality glasses and look at your writing with the perspective from other self publishers, NOT the perspective of readers.
But also, just stop caring about what other people think.
Do what is best for you. Not them.
Do your readers REALLY care about you?
If they ACTUALLY cared, they’d be their for you. They’d go shopping with you, eat out with you, attend your grammy’s funeral with you, walk their dog with you and your dog. Do, they do that? No! They don’t give a shit about you and you have no reason to give a shit about them.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking they write reviews FOR YOU. They don’t. They write reviews for themselves. They write reviews to gain clot on their accounts. They don’t care about you. And they never will.
And you should NEVER change your career just to satisfy some faceless username who bullied you online.
Stop caring about what reviewers think, because what they think DOES NOT MATTER!
>>>I'm thinking of continuing the trilogy by creating spinoffs, sequels, and so forth.
This is a good idea.
In fact, this is a great idea.
The more you write, the more you publish. The more you publish, the more chances there are for people to find you.
>>>I'm thinking of continuing the trilogy by creating spinoffs, sequels, and so forth. But the problem is that I have mixed reactions (reviews) that make me doubt whether I should continue writing
This is where the good idea goes bad.
You started out with a good idea and then you went: “Wait a minute, people are watching, what will people think, I better bow and grovel and bend and break. I better not follow my heart, I have to follow the crowd.”
Fuck that.
If your reviewers told you to go kill yourself are you gonna do that too?
Believe me, sooner or later you’ll get reviews saying: “You’re book sucks, go kill yourself.” Every author does. Some sooner than others, but sooner or later ever author gets them.
What will you do than?
Kill yourself?
You’re type who probably would.
Why do I say this?
Because you are so upset right now, bout getting bad reviews, that you are considering do EXACTLY what the bad review writers are telling you to do.
So, what are you going to do when you reviews saying: “You’re book sucks, go kill yourself.” Will you grow some balls and tell them to go fuck themselves? Or will you break down and kill yourself, just because a reader told you to?
You had a good idea, but you’re willing to throw it away, just to kiss some reader’s ass. What does that say about your ability to stand tall and believe in yourself?
If you don’t believe in your work, why would you expect your readers to believe in it either?
If you want people to believe in you, you need to first believe in yourself.
If you want people to love your stories, you must first love your stories.
>>>But the problem is that I have mixed reactions (reviews) that make me doubt whether I should continue writing.
I have a question: Why are you reading reviews?
No reputable book reviewer writes a review expecting the author to read it.
Book reviews are intended to help readers decide if the book is something they might like.
The only people who write reviews expecting the author to read it, are small minded self published authors who think reviews are an excuse to hurt the competition. Authors like that never last long.
You want READERS not authors reviewing your work.
ALL book reviews written by authors are pointless and should never be read.
And, if you are on Amazon or GoodReads... authors are not allowed to leave reviews and Amazon WILL delete their account and their books.
There once was an author who was jealous of my “success” (success in this case being that my novel was published – it had only sold 12 copies in over a year) and decided to create 52 Amazon accounts so she could leave 52 one star reviews on the book. Than in the comments under each of the 52 one star reviews, she ad a huge conversation with each of her 52 accounts.
I didn’t know about it until one of my friends on FaceBook sent me a message asking if I had seen the wild 1 star review spam that was plastering one of my books. They knew I never read reviews on my books, so they knew I had not seen it.
It was a fascinating popcorn worthy read, with the following line, being copy and pasted more than 500 times:
“A retarded story, about a retarded character, written by a retarded author.”
I was somewhere into the thousand comment when suddenly they all vanished.
I was rather disappointed that they had been deleted. It was some of the funniest shit I’ve ever read.
A few hours later Amazon sent me an email explaining that a self-published author had created 52 fake accounts to spam my books with 1 star reviews, and they banned her and deleted the reviews.
That’s how Kendra Silvermander and all of her 52 accounts got banned by Amazon. She’s not allowed to publish books on Amazon now because of this.
It was the only time I’ve ever read any review on any of my books.
Reviews are their to help readers decide what to buy.
You are the author, you don’t need to buy your own book, you already wrote it, so you have no business bothering to read reviews.
Reviews are NOT there for you!
Get that through your head!
Good reviews. Bad reviews. Who cares!
I’ve seen far too many self pubbed authors get hung up on obsessing over reviews and not be able to write because of it and you are clearly following down that path.
STOP IT!
JUST STOP IT!
You don’t need that mental crap in your life. You really don’t.
You are the author. You are in control of what you write.
Don’t let people bully you into not following your heart and writing what you want to write.
Bullies exist.
CRUSH THEM!
Bullies don’t deserve the life God gave them.
Bullies are nothing but trash.
And what do you do with trash? You toss it in the garbage where it belongs.
Stop worrying about the bullies who try to manipulate you with reviews.
You are the author.
You are the leader.
Readers follow the leader. Not the other way around.
A leader demands respect, not cowers the first time a hater shouts negativity.
A leader crushes the opposition, not becomes it’s slave.
Author’s lead. Readers follow.
Don’t let bullies stop you from writing.
Are you willing to lose your identity for them?
Will give up everything that make you different? Unique? And become just another cog in the wheel? A carbon copy of them?
If you have so many ideas to write, than why don't you just write them?
Why do you need permission from strangers?
Readers are not your mommy dearest.
If you can't decide for yourself what to write, than run back to your momma's boob. Clearly you are not yet weened from the tit and are still firmly tied to the apron strings.
You are unique. Why do you wish to throw that away?
Stop trying to please every body.
Stop worrying about the numbers.
Look back and try to remember why you started writing.
What was your original goal?
Why did you leave it behind?
Peer pressure.
That's your problem.
You're worried to much about others.
You care to much what others think.
You are not staying true to you.
You are putty in their hands.
They shape you and mold you, than toss you aside. Abandon you, and move on to something else.
And where are you than?
Tossed in the gutter. No longer you. Just the deformed lump they twisted you into.
Be true to you.
Stop trying to please every body.
Stop chasing numbers.
Go back and remember why you started writing.
Flow with your original goal.
Look at the mental anguish you are suffering through.
For what purpose?
To please others?
There was never a more stupid goal.
Why do so many people do this? Authors. YouTubers. Twitch Streamers. Why? Why are you people all s stupid? Why can none of you do anything for yourself? Why do you all have to put on a fake ass show and vie for the most views and reviews?
Why can't you just be YOU?
Why can't you just be true to who you are?
Do what you love.
Write what you love.
Where is your passion?
Are you really going to waste your life, slaving for the love of strangers?
They'll never love you.
And you'll follow the fate of millions of writers before you.
You'll never succeed, no matter what you do, no matter how high your numbers go. 100 sales today. A million sales tomorrow. Either way, you'll never be satisfied.
You'll never get to the top number.
No writer does.
Why?
Because if you set your goal at 10, when you reach 10, you'll say, "I don't yet feel successful. 10 isn't enough. 100. That's where's it's at. I'll feel successful at 100."
And when you reach 100, you'll say, "I don't yet feel successful. 100 isn't enough. 1,000. That's where's it's at. I'll feel successful at 1,000."
But then you reach 1,000, you'll say, "I don't yet feel successful. 1,000 isn't enough. 10,000. That's where's it's at. I'll feel successful at 10,000."
And it never ends.
You'll just keep grasping ever at numbers always just out of reach.
And you'll never be satisfied.
So long as you look to others, to outside sources, you'll NEVER feel successful, no matter what you do. Not even with a million glowing 5 star reviews and 10 million sales.
Why?
Because success is inside you.
Success doesn't come from outside.
It doesn't come from others.
It's all about who you are, to YOU.
What you achieve, for YOU.
So long as you look to others and their opinions of you, you will NEVER feel successful in ANYTHING you do.
And I can't help you with that.
I can teach you how to write better, publish smarter, but I can't teach you how to change your outlook of your own self worth.
You have to learn to love yourself.
You have to learn to believe in yourself.
You have to learn to know you are worthy.
Stop waiting for others to love you and learn to love yourself.
Stop waiting for others to enjoy your writing, and read your books to yourself for your own pleasure of reading what you wrote.
Stop waiting for others to believe in you and learn to believe in yourself.
Stop waiting for others to say you are worthy and tell yourself you are worthy.
Humans are incapable of love, they will never love you, learn to love yourself.
Humans are self and care only about themselves, they will never care about you, you must learn to believe in yourself, because no human is ever going to believe in you.
Humans have nothing in them but hate for everyone ad everything, they will never see you as worthy, you have to learn to know you are worthy.
So long as you look to humans and their opinions of you, you will never feel successful.
>>>Probably the mistake I should have realized is that I should have tested the idea first. I should have tested the idea on social media and websites like Wattpad by posting the first chapter to see any possible reaction. If it did, then I moved forward (the idea isn't mine but from another author who suggests to post many 1st chapters to see which gets the most reaction.)
Wattpad? You mean that site created for college students to post essays for sale to other college students, that is the largest plagiarism database source on the internet? Why the fuck would you post your work there? 3 decades of the lowest gutter scum hive on the internet, a dredge pot of plagiarised essays to help you cheat your way through school. Are you suggesting Wattpad has become a reputable site after decades of dodging federal investigations and being the #1 website to send the most college students to prison for plagiarising college papers?
Even if Wattpad has tried to clean up it’s act, even considering posting a single chapter there is going to completely kill your chances of ever getting published traditionally.
And the way you are overly hung up on success, I would think you would be looking into traditional publishing.
If you put anything up on Wattpad you can kiss any hope of trade publishing good-bye, along with any hope of getting into grad-school.
You are very young, I can tell by the fact that you don't know what Wattpad is or what the primary use and purpose of the website it. Wattpad was founded by college students for the goal of sharing essays, so that you could cheat in class. It is the sites original purpose, and remains to this day 30 years later, still it's primary function.
Just because teens use the site to post fiction, doesn't mean that most people on the site are doing that or that that is what the site's primary purpose is.
For the last 30 years Wattpad has been the #1 go to site for college students who want to buy plagiarized essays.
Wattpad is the #1 way to get expelled from school, university, or college.
It's also the #1 way to get denied entry into Ivy league schools like Harvard or Yale.
Wattpad is also the #1 way to ensure that you are NEVER published by a traditional mainstream big house publisher.
Schools and publishing houses DO check Wattpad to see if you are on there and if you are, you can kiss both grad school and your dreams of getting published good-bye forever.
If you never plan to go to college and you never plan to get published, than Wattpad is fine.
But big universities and big publishing houses DO blacklist anyone who has ever posted on or created an account with Wattpad, and have done so since 1996, and THIS is why so many authors tell you to stay away.
It's not that these authors look down on or hate Wattpad, but rather, these authors simply want to help you in your writing career, and they know that sooner or later you'll either want to get published or want to get a writing degree, and they know that if you, as a reckless teen posted on Wattpad, than you won't be able to do either goals. They aren't hating on Wattpad, they are just trying to save you the heartache of throwing away any chances of getting a degree or getting published, that's all.
>>>Probably the mistake I should have realized is that I should have tested the idea first. I should have tested the idea on social media and websites like Wattpad by posting the first chapter to see any possible reaction. If it did, then I moved forward (the idea isn't mine but from another author who suggests to post many 1st chapters to see which gets the most reaction.)
Beyond Wattpad though, back to your question.
Centuries of authors have found success without "testing first".
The internet celebrated it's 35th anniversary in 2020.
Social media has yet to reach it's 25th anniversary.
Mainstream public has been using social media for less than 10 years.
The bulk of the world only found out about social media in 2018, 4 years ago.
More then 90% of people using social media in 2021, only started using social media in 2020, less than a year ago.
Carefully consider those facts.
Still think using social media is a good test?
It is not, no matter what any one says.
REAL authors don't use social media for success and they never have. So it is foolish to think that using social media to test the success of a book is the norm.
But let's look at the question again:
>>>Probably the mistake I should have realized is that I should have tested the idea first. I should have tested the idea on social media and websites like Wattpad by posting the first chapter to see any possible reaction. If it did, then I moved forward (the idea isn't mine but from another author who suggests to post many 1st chapters to see which gets the most reaction.)
Who are you going to test the idea on?
Your target audience who will love your characters for decades to come? Or a bunch of snot nosed teenaged brats who don't give 2 shits about you and will toss you aside when the next shinny comes along 2 seconds later?
>>>So I want to know if I can continue writing further stories in the series or cut my loses and move on to something else?
You are asking me, a random stranger, who knows nothing about you beyond what you’ve written here, for permission to keep writing?
If you are an author, than you should know how to properly use words.
Either you are using words incorrectly or you suffer from a serious need to grow some balls.
Did you READ what you wrote before you sent it to me?
No?
Let me refresh you as to what you just said.
>>>So I want to know if I can continue writing further stories in the series or cut my loses and move on to something else?
Did you see it?
No?
Let me focus right in on it.
>>>I want to know if I can continue writing further stories
WHY do you think you need my permission to continue to write?
I don’t know you from Adam.
I don’t give 2 shits about you or your stories, so I don’t care if you write them or not. It makes no difference to me.
If you want advice, my advice is this:
GROW SOME BALLS AND MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!
Stop relying on what OTHERS think you should do and just do what you want.
What the fuck!
Be a man, not a mouse.
You know, I really hate people who can’t decide things for themselves. People like you piss me off.
>>>And even if I did, I'm not sure which story would be successful.
Does this matter?
Why are you so hung up on success?
I don’t think your writing is the problem.
The problem is your attitude.
From what you say, people ARE reading your stories and you re upset that they are not ALSO grovelling at your feet, licking your shoes, and kissing your ass.
Sorry, but, you might want to take a step back and rethink this pity party you are having here, because from what you have said, you are a lot more successful that the majority of self-published authors out there.
What is you definition of being successful?
I think that may be the problem here. Redefine what success means and you will be able to see how successful you already are.
>>>I don't want to spend months or years of my life writing a series that nobody wants to read.
If you wanted to write it, is it ever really a waste?
I find your mindset puzzling.
Are you not a person?
Did you not read your own story?
Did you not enjoy reading it after you published it?
If you enjoy reading what you wrote, than that is NOT nobody wanting to read it, because one person wants to read it: you.
Did you know that The Night of the Screaming Unicorn is one of my all time favourite novels, to the point that I reread it at least once or twice a month. I love reading and rereading that novel. Yes. I wrote that novel. And I not only enjoyed writing it, but I also fully enjoy reading it.
BoomFuzzy is another novel that I read and reread over and over because I love it so much. And yes, I wrote that novel too.
>>>I don't want to spend months or years of my life writing a series that nobody wants to read.
I am so confused.
Are you suggesting that no one, not even you enjoys reading what you wrote?
>>>I don't want to spend months or years of my life writing a series that nobody wants to read.
Are you telling me that you do not enjoy reading your own stories?
Why ever did you write them if not even you, yourself enjoys reading them?
Are you so fully dependant on what others think that you can not stand on your own two feet?
>>>I have tons of story ideas that I want to write but I don't want to risk time writing the wrong story.
If you try to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no one.
You simply can not please every one, so you might as well please yourself.
Write what you are most passionate about, the story you have the most desire and drive to write. And when you are finished with that story, move on to writing the next story which fills your heart with the burning desire to write it.
This is what I believe in. And it is more than what I preach, it is also what I practice.
So with this in mind, you can see that I do not feel there is such a thing as writing the “wrong” story.
I believe that whatever story your heart desires to write, that is the best story for you to write at that moment.
>>>My books aren't written in the typical manner that readers of most genres expect. Because of this, it's difficult to put them in a category without upsetting readers who regularly consume said books.
Ah!
Yes.
That’ll do it.
This is definitely the best way to get a lot of bad reviews.
This is an issue I know all too well.
I don’t write typical genres.
I find it best to have an author website and put info about the books on the website.
>>>I came up with 100 sold copies as a ballpark from the recent royalty check I received from Amazon (almost $100). I had the first book free while the second was 99 cents while the third costs $2.99. Plus, I have a short story supplement at 99 cents too.
I do not agree with this pricing method.
The free to price increase method USED TO work back in 2010 when Stephen King started the trend and nearly every Kindle book was sold this way (even big house traditionally published books). But it only worked because Stephen King invented the method for Perfect Storm, and once Stephen King stopped doing it with his own ebooks, this method stopped working for everyone else.
By 2013 this method had lost favour and was being frowned upon.
People who still use this method in 2021, generally do so only because they are new to self publishing and are reading very old and outdated articles and blog posts.
Check the publication dates of the articles you read. The publishing industry is a constantly evolving beast and things that worked just 6 months ago are often already obsolete, and things recommend 3, 5, or 10 years ago are rarely advisable now.
Think about how paperbacks are published.
Is volume 1 of Harry Potter .99c, volume 2 $1.99, volume 3 $2.99, and so on?
No.
Also, I firmly believe that no novel (stories 80k to 200k words) should EVER be listed at under $4.99 for the ebook edition and $9.99 for the paperback edition and $29.99 for the hardcover edition, and ONLY short stories under 10,000 words should ever be priced at .99c, with short stories of 10k to 30k words at $1.99+ and novellas of 30k to 75k at $2.99+ while epic novels (200k to 500k words) should be $7.99+ in ebook format.
And NO, 50k words is NOT a novel. It’s barely a novella. Short children’s mysteries like Nancy Drew are 75k, light novels like Harlequin Romances are 180k, fill novels like Harry Potter are 230k, and Epic Fantasies like Lord of the Rings are 500k+
Children’s Easy Readers, like Baby Sitter Club and Bailey School Kids are 25k to 50k long.
Yeah.
Every fool claiming 50k words is a novel, doesn't know his ass from a hole in a ground and obviously has never read a novel to know how big a novel is.
Don’t sell yourself short, by pricing too low.
You’re supposed to be trying to earn an income, not seeing who can race to the bottom first.
I will never understand why so many self published authors try to race to the bottom while so few try to race to the top.
If you have no confidence in your work, your readers won’t either.
While there are people who hoard up .99c Kindle books, most will never leave reviews and even more will never read the book at all.
If you want people to read your book, than you want people to BUY your book.
People will toss a .99 book aside unread, but they’ll think twice before spend $5.
The people willing to spend $5 are also going to read the book.
People who read the book, are the ones who leave good reviews.
Price with confidence.
NEVER price your ebook under $4.99.
You’re short story should be listed at AT LEAST $1.99 and if it’s over 10k words AT LEAST $2.99.
Each novel in your series should be the same price as each other novel in your series.
Each of you’re novels should be listed at AT LEAST $4.99 and if it’s over 200k words AT LEAST $7.99.
>>>At this point, I simply want to build my reader base.
Let me repeat what I just said:
While there are people who hoard up .99c Kindle books, most will never leave reviews and even more will never read the book at all.
If you want people to read your book, than you want people to BUY your book.
People will toss a .99 book aside unread, but they’ll think twice before spend $5.
The people willing to spend $5 are also going to read the book.
People who read the book, are the ones who leave good reviews.
Price with confidence.
NEVER price your ebook under $4.99.
Reader psychology is a thing. Look it up. Research it.
Readers will respect a book that has a respectable price.
If they see your book as Dollar Store Bargain Bin trash, they’ll buy it, toss it aside, and never read it. Because it’s only .99c, they won’t even bother to read the description.
If they see your book as an investment, they will think twice, ask themselves “Will I read this?” and be more likely to both read it and review it.
People will think nothing of spend $100 on 100 books at .99c and than never read any of them, but they’ll think twice about buying a $4.99 book.
.99c books have a long and proven history of high rates of downloads, low rates of 4 or 5 star reviews, high rates of 1 star reviews, and near 0% pages read rate.
$4.99 books have a long and proven history of mid-range rates of downloads, high rates of 4 or 5 star reviews, low rates of 1 star reviews, and near 80% pages read rate.
$12.99 books have a long and proven history of low rates of downloads, low rates of 4 or 5 star reviews, low rates of 1 star reviews, high rates of 2 and 3 star reviews, and near 100% pages read rate.
The higher you price your book, the higher your read rate is.
There is a too low and a too high range. Right now your books are priced in the too low range.
Also... if your books are priced at .99c and you made $100 than you had WAY more than 100 books sold... closer to 300 copies were sold.
Just because the book SELLS for .99c does NOT mean you EARN .99c
You earn 35% on .99c sales and 70% on $4.99 sales.
This means you earned .35c per book sold.
If you made $100 and you sell your books for .99c, than you actually sold 286 copies.
Now let’s see how much you would have earned had you priced your books at $4.99 instead.
You earn $3.49 on a $4.99 book, instead of .35c on a .99c book.
286 copies were sold at .99c x 35% = $100 earned
BUT...
Had 286 copies been sold at $4.99 x 70% you WOULD have earned $998.14 instead.
So, by selling your books at .99c you earn $100 a month, when you could have been earning $1,000 per month instead by selling them at $4.99.
Plus, not only would you be making more money, but you would actually be selling to people who ACTUALLY READ your book, not the ,99c ebook hoarders who will never read your book.
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Congratulations!
You have found one of the articles written before my family was murdered, before my farm was razed, when I still had a house and before the GoldenEagle was cut in half.
NOTE: The following originally appeared on Squidoo in 2006 and has not been updated since 2006.
This was written BEFORE the bomb blew up my house on October 16, 2006.
You will notice a difference in how I talked, before psycho stalker Kendra Silvermander entered my life.
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What Is Success?
What Is Success?
Ranked #97,026 in Entertainment, #1,251,157 overall
How Do You Define Success?
What is success?
How do you describe the word success?
What would it take for you to feel successful?
I thought it would be interesting to see what everyone thinks on this.
"There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way."
- Christopher Lasch
What Is Success?
Of course it would help get the discussion moving if I posted my feelings on it, so here I go...I've known several people who thought that they weren't successful until they earned so much money a year, owned a certain make car (Jaguar or BMW for instance), owned a vacation home, or a big boat. I always looked at these guys and asked them why they thought that money and items were success and they really didn't have an answer. That always bothered me. It made me sad and I felt like they were missing out on the joys of real success.
I live on a beach, where lots of millionaires vacation each year, and I see these so called successful people every day. They have a lot of money coming in, they have the second house on the beach, they have the boat, they have the car, and they look around and say they still want more, but than they also have the mortgages, the bank loans, the lease, and the sky rocketing property taxes. They have the "things" but they also have the debt and stress that comes with them. They tell people that at last they are successful, but than they are sad and depressed and end up with counseling bills on top of everything else, cause they need counseling to find out, why if they are so "successful" why than are they not also happy?
These same summer folks often look at me and my family...5 people and 200+ pets, living in a cabin just under 700 square feet, on an income of less than $20,000 a year, and with a car that gets towed home several times a year cause it's so old and beat up. They often ask us, how we can live like this and be happy. Why aren't we stressed out like they are? Why aren't we striving to be "successful" like them?
My answer is always the same.
What is success?
Is it money?
No.
Is it big houses and fancy cars?
No.
It is a family that loves you.
It is having a job that allows you to stay home with your family, even if it doesn't make you rich.
It is taking care of animals that were abandoned by their previous owners and knowing that they are now happy and safe.
It is being able to walk to the beach each day and see the sunrise or the sunset, even if our house is the smallest one in town.
It's going to the movies with our children and talking about why we liked it on the drive home. It's the weekly pizza nights, when we sit around talking and laughing in a tiny local pizza parlor, where we are so regular that they save our seats and know what to order without our seeing the menu.
No, success can not be counted in dollars and cents; success is counted in hours and minutes, laughter and tears...success in when you have a family that loves you, that you enjoy spending time with, and no amount of money can ever buy that.
Success Is...
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
- Winston Churchill
- The Happiness Club Headquarters
- The Happiness Club The Happiness Club is a group seeking lenses to help you bring laughter and joy into your life. On one of my other lenses I was talkin...
You Can Succeed!
"My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny."
- Elaine Maxwell
What Are The Secrets To Success? My Top 5 Answers
What do you feel is the reason for success in your life?
It could be personal success or business success.
I think personal and business success go and in hand, because if one is failing than the other will soon follow.
For me, I'd have to say my top 5 would be:
- #1) Family. Always putting family first helps keep your business in perspective and makes for a happy life.
- #2) Passion. Do what you love. Love what you do. If it doesn't make you happy, don't do it.
- #3) Knowledge. Know how to do everything yourself, even if you have someone else to do it. A boss who doesn't know the business will not be the boss for long!
- #4) Lack of greed. Love of money is the root of all evil. If you start putting money first in your life, you'll start losing your personal happiness. Seek happiness first, the rest will follow.
- #5) Kindness. Be kind to everyone and never let the sun set on your anger. Forgive, forget, and seek not revenge. Always treat everyone as you would want them to treat you.
I think that the way you spend your time determines wither you succeed or flop too. I mean, how can you be successful if you just sit around in front of the flat screen tv all day? You got to get out there and actually DO something in order to succeed.
Life isn't about making money, it is about what you do with it. All the money in the world is not worth a thing if you aren't happy and making others around you happy too. Happiness first, money later. Even though time is money, no amount of money can buy back time wasted, either.
The Way To Success...
"It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
What Do You Say Success Is? What is Success?
I say...
This is what success means to me... asdf says:it is the satisfaction of doing something right
abcd says:success is a state of mind.
melanie dsouza says:i feel success is a desire of every person . a person from his birth to death run towards success but success comes when a person really puts his best efforts.
Ann says:Success is a (feeling) of accomplishment. Its a feeling.(Opinion)
SAURABH DUSEJA says:Successs is able to do things with happiness and stability irrespective how bleak are the circumstances. Success is ability to understand feelings and emotions of other person , it lies in giving happiness to other . Greed , Lust , Anger , expectations are the enemies of happiness and SUCCESS.
cherry may says:for me success is a way of achieving it through your goal in your life that you finish it through in your own.
quest says:success is the result of the sacrifices you have already and being happy with who you are
lady says:Success is watching your children sleep.
Strike Pineda says:success is nothing TANGa!!!!!!!
-ELMA REMOTO- says:SUCCESS is the result of sacrifices,trials and challenges.
I am successful because... Reader Feedback
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