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The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane
-- ten MILLION copies sold and counting!
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Home to more than 10,000 articles aimed at helping young authors worldbuild, create characters, write novellas, edit manuscripts, design book covers, and self publish their work.
November 14, 2023 will be the 10 year anniversary of the November 14, 2013 murder of my 8 month old infant son, at BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, Maine. If you have any information about who his killer is, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
My Son Was Murdered, The Killer Walks Free, Your Child Could Be Next!
FAQ: What are the most visited pages on this website and how many visits do they get?
Several years ago, I wrote an article on how to write different types of magic uses, or rather how I personally write various types of magic users within the context of my Quaraun books. Today that page is one of my top ten most visited articles. It gets 50 to 500 views/reads/hits/visits per day depending on the time of the years and has had over 200k visits total since it was published.
Amphibious Aliens: Debunking The Atwater Family's Alien Abduction Hoax with more then 30MILLION reads since 2007 and The GoldenEagle: Debunking Stephen King's World's Most Haunted Car Hoax with over tenMILLION reads since 2007 still rank as the two most visited articles on my website, but, neither of those are writing related.
Writing Medieval Servants is my most visited writing related article with over 7MILLION reads.
This website was started in 1996 and has 1 to 3 new articles (all written by me, I am the only writer on this site) published almost daily. In 2017 we crossed ten thousand articles published. As of 2023, EACH article gets MINIMUM 10 to 70 reads PER DAY, with the high traffic articles getting 500+ reads per day.
And since December 2019, my website now gets three hundred thousand to 7 million reads per month - well over ONE HUNDRED MILLION PAGE READS PER YEAR, making it not only the single most trafficked site in the State of Maine, but also one of the most visited websites in ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!
{{{HUGS}}} Thank you to all my readers for making this possible!
~From "GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun Series)
Chapter ??
The Year 2525 In Pepperell Square, Saco, Maine
(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)
(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
Volume 22 of 130
GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover:
The Year 2525 In Pepperell Square, Saco, Maine
Chapter ??
(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)
(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)
Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.
Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?
You can Find out more about the main characters here:
Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.
The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.
Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.
Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.
Reader discretion is advised.
Author of Cozy & Gothic Fantasy, Sweet/Fluffy M/M Furry Romance, Cosmic Horror, Space Opera, & Literary SoL genres. I write Elves, Fae, Unicorns, & Demons.
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~From "GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun Series)
The Year 2525 In Pepperell Square, Saco, Maine
is
a short Novel of only 120,000 words
(fewer than 300 paperback pages)
This chapter is...
Word count: 3,142
or
10 paperback pages.
~From "GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun Series):
The Year 2525 In Pepperell Square, Saco, Maine
Chapter ??
(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)
(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)
<<< Previous Chapter:
~o0o~ Chapter ~o0o~
Quaraun and Unicorn walked on aimlessly, not knowing where they were or where they were headed, just hoping that eventually they would find something familiar, something to show them where one of the portals was, so they could get out of here and return back home.
Quaraun spoke in 84 common languages. In spite of this, the Phooka did not address Quaraun in any of the common Human languages, nor in any common Elven language, nor did he speak in Phookan, but rather spoke to Quaraun in the ancient Moon Elf dialect of the royal family. The fact that anyone even remembered the rare Moon Elf race at all was in itself an anomaly, and though the Phooka was messing up the language badly, it was clear he was familiar with it well enough to speak more or less fluid conversation using it.
Quaraun, being the highly educated High Elf that he was, spoke most of the known languages of the region, and thus immediately shifted his own speech to match whatever language was being spoken to him. His ability to speak most every language, could sometimes make talking to him difficult as he could, and often did, change languages mid-sentence and rarely realized he was doing it. Most of his conversation with the Phooka was thus a strange blend of his own native Moon Elf, mixed with Thullid in a bizarre language Quaraun had unknowingly created for himself in his last two hundred years of hermit like solitude. The Phooka, able to speak both Moon Elf and Thullid, was quick to pick up on this difficult self-language Quaraun had made for himself, but was have trouble verbally speaking it and ended up getting quite a bit of it wrong, which amused the Moon Elf, but at the same time was a relief to find someone willing to communicate with him on his level instead of forcing him to learn their language.
Quaraun was rambling on like this, just now.
The Elf wasn’t really paying attention to wither Unicorn was answering him or not and it sometimes seemed the Elf was talking to himself more than the Phooka.
Unicorn knew that Quaraun was lonely and he feared that Quaraun only kept him around more to have someone other then himself to talk to, then for any other reason.
Quaraun stopped talking and walking and stood staring down at a clump of purple violets, beside the road.
“Flowers,” the Elf said quietly. "Unicorn, look! Flowers!"
“Aye. I sees dem.”
Unicorn looked at the flowers trying to determine why it was they had attracted the Elf’s interest.
"Flowers."
"Why ya getting emotional over flowers?"
“They’re alive.”
“Aye.”
Quaraun knelt beside the flowers, cupping his hands around them.
“Live flowers.”
“Yi act like ya ain’t never seen living flowers.”
“What?” Quaraun looked up at Unicorn. “Oh.”
Quaraun stood back up and looked around. Green grass was growing on the edges of the road. Some of the trees still had leaves clinging to the branches. Ramshorn sumac towered over the little Elf.
“There’s life here,” he said as he stared out over a pasture. “There is so little life on this planet. I wonder why there is still life here?”
“Ya keep gibbering about dis planet being lifeless.”
“It is. And I don’t gibber.”
“Why it dead?”
“I don’t know. Something bad happened here. This is a bad future and we need to get out of it as soon as possible.”
“Any idea yet on how we does dat?”
“No. I never studied portal magic. It’s a lost art. The portals were sealed up.”
“Until Ghouly came along.”
“Yes. Poor GhoulSpawn. I wish I knew how he was doing.”
“Ya wishing again.”
“Am I?”
“Aye.”
“I gotta remember not to do that.”
Quaraun turned to look back down at the flowers, then jumped back startled.
"Oh my!"
No more were the leaves green and lush. The stems no longer nodded joyfully in the breeze. The flowers had lost their purple hues. Slowly Quaraun knelt down beside the plant. It looked to be made out of glass. Clear blue glass. He picked one of the stiff crystal blossoms, pricking his finger on it’s broken glass, shard stem.
“How odd.”
Quaraun held his hand up to Unicorn.
“I cut my finger.”
The undead creature immediately lunged on the Elf’s hand, sucking the blood from the wound.
Phookas eat Elves and Quaraun was of the habit of letting the beast drink his blood. A habit that most people found disturbing.
“I spoke too soon,” Quaraun said sadly, looking down at the crystal flower in his have, while the Phooka sucked the blood from his other hand. “This flower is dead as well. They are turning to crystal. Some sort of quartz.”
Quaraun looked up at the Phooka.
“It’s the same type of crystal, you are.”
Quaraun pulled his hand away from the Phooka.
“No. Stop. It has stopped bleeding. If you take too much, I’ll be too weak to travel. And we must find a way out of here first.”
The Phooka obediently released the Elf’s hand, then helped him back to his feet.
Unicorn looked at the blue crystal violet in Quaraun’s hand.
“Is de flower Lich?”
“It appears to be.”
“How dat possible?”
“I don’t know. The Crystal Plague."
"What dat?"
"Gremlin mentioned it once. He said, that Ongadada was the beginning of the end. He said the killed millions, but the Crystal Plague killed billions. This is the world after Ongadada. This is why he keeps trying to change the past. His past. Our correct time. He says it all the time. That he has to stop Ongadada from happening. He said the worst part of Ongagdada was the Crystal Plague that came after it. That has to be what this is."
"Why is bad t'ing?"
"I think the entire planet is turning into a Lich. This whole planet, is dying, and being reborn as an undead thing. What a horrible future this is. Whatever future we have come to... this can’t happen. It’s spreading over the planet like a plague. If it continues... every adult, every child, every animal, every bird, every plant, every tree, will rise up all undead. A planet of all nothing but Liches. This is worse than a nzambie apocalypse.”
Unicorn suddenly turned into a blue unicorn skeleton and ran circles around Quaraun whinnying maniacally.
“Come on,” Quaraun said sighing. “You need to run off some of that excess energy before nightfall.”
The two once again began walking down the path.
“You're a shape shifter,” Quaraun said to Unicorn.
“Aye. What point has ya to say it?”
“What you said to the Humans back there, about your being short and not able to do anything about it. You can be anything you want to be.”
“Aye. But again, what point has ya to say it?”
“You told them you couldn't change your height.”
“Aye.”
“You lied to them.”
“Eh, not exactly.”
“No?”
“No.”
“It like me hair. We does no change it, eh? Me mane and tail be full of braids what ain't been brushed in centuries. It make me look wild and fierce.”
The pony shook his mane to emphasize the fact.
Hamsa
Eye of The Grigoi
Eye of the Watchers
Eye of God
Hand of God
Eye of Protection
Evil Eye
Gypsy Curse
“We like it this way. We do no change it. So when We no more horse un instead be Human or Elf, We keep me mane. Me dreadlocks is beautiful. We like them un We do no change them, no matter what We be. We could change me hair if We wanted to, but this me natural hair and me do no wants to.”
“How does that explain you're height?”
“Did ya never notice, We always this tall? No matter what We be. Horse, Elf, Human – We always same height. This is how tall We be.”
“But you could be taller.”
“Aye, We is Phooka. We could change me name to Harvey un turn meself into six foot tall, invisible white rabbit, but than that would make me taller than ya, un ya gots enough inferiority complex issues as it is.”
“I don't have inferiority complex issues.”
“Aye ya do, ya just can no admits it, eh? Why ya think ya get so superior and arrogant at other Elves?”
“Because other Elves ARE inferior.”
“Uh-huh. There that inferiority complex, ya feels inferior, sos ya make yarself feels better by putting down other Elves.”
“That's not what I'm doing.”
“No? Than how would ya feel if We started being taller then ya bes?”
Quaraun stopped walking and glared at the undead horse.
“And there it be. That anger that burns inside ya at the thought of me being taller then ya. Yes? Ya likes me shorter than ya, because yis shorter then everyone else. Look at the friends ya keep and the people ya hang out with. Gnomes. Faeries. Dwarves. Most Elves tolerate Gnomes, but who ever heard of an Elf who had Dwarven friends ans Faerie lover? No one. Elves think they is too good for that. Why does ya no keep friends with Elves, Quaraun? Did ya ever really think about it? We has. Ya know what We realized. All the other Elves is taller, bigger, stronger, and braver than ya. Yis weak, cowardly, lil runt and the other Elves picks on ya because of it, then ya make it worse on yarself by being girl Elf...”
“I'm not a girl.”
“Ya would'na knows it to looks at ya Quaraun. Most girls does no dress as girly as ya. Yes?”
“Yes. I know. But this is how I dress.”
“Because de Jelly Fish in ya is be a girl.”
“Yes. She is.”
“But that be besides me point. Me point being, We were being Elf when ya met me and We were the first Elf ya ever met that was shorter then yeself. It the whole reason ya started spending time with me. We was smaller then ya was, sos ya figured We would no pick on ya about ye being so short. Ya were very sad Elf when We met ya. Ya had no friends, ya did'na know ya could hae none Elf friends.”
“Have you ever been anything taller then this? Even before you met me?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“We is comfortable with who We is.”
“I’ve never been comfortable with who I was.”
“Aye. I noticed it. Like We says. Me height be like me hair. This me real hair, this me real height. We short. We know We short. Has no need to change it. We accept it it as what is.”
Quaraun and Unicorn walked for several hours and were able to avoid running into any more Humans. Though Quaraun carried everything he owned, including his house and all it's furniture, in the tiny beaded heart shaped pocket tied to his belt, they were cautious about setting up camp, opting not to set up the tent or light a fire, so that they could flee quickly should any Humans come upon them.
Quaraun was in unfamiliar grounds. Though he travelled often, constantly on the road, he actually covered only a very small region, and having walked it many times in his lifetime, he was familiar with which places were safe and which to avoid.
Not so here.
This was definitely the area he knew. The road was a road he had walked before. But centuries had past and things were different. Jet planes lay in ruins, crashed from the sky, trees and vines growing up through them. Collapsed skyscrapers stood here and there, peeking out over the tops of tall trees. None of these things had been along this road back in the 1400s where he and Unicorn belonged.
The sounds of cannon fire echoed through the night and the glows of burning towns kept the distant horizon tinted with smoke filled orange all night long.
The world, what was left of it, was war town. Distant screams of civilians echoed through the night, as soldiers slaughtered them in their homes.
Quaraun knew the river. He knew the dam. It had once been a waterfall. But the island was still the same. Now covered in a vast brick fortress, long ago collapsed.
Ships lay scattered on the shore.
This was The Saco River.
The Estuary of Saco Bay.
The delta that fed into the Atlantic Ocean.
They were in Saco, Maine.
Quaraun stood on York Hill. There was nothing but death as far as he could see.
The bridge behind him, was crumbled away.
In front of him, lay a silver train on it’s side. It appeared to have sat like this, a century or more.
Quaraun climbed over the train, and continued onward down the familiar street.
The houses that should have stood corner to corner, touching eaves, were gone. And they’d been gone long enough, that massive hundred foot pine trees grow in their place. Quaraun walked a few hundred feet and stopped.
“Poor Mallac.”
Unicorn trotted up behind Quaraun.
“Mallac? What for ya speak of Mallac.”
“This is Pepperell Square. This is where we meet him.”
Quaraun pointed to the overgrowth.
“Is it?”
“Yes. The Golden Rooster, was right there.”
Quaraun’s foot long ears laid back fearfully, as he looked around the horizon in search of Black Tower. It was nowhere.
"Oh no."
"What is it?"
“We’re home.”
“Dis does nay look like home.”
"Look at the horizon."
"What I look for?"
"It's gone."
"What gone?"
"It's gone. Why is it gone?"
"What is gone?"
“Look,” Quaraun pointed to the abandoned hydro electric towers, hanging over the edge of the river. “That is York Hill. Look at the river. We are home.”
“Dis bad future.”
"Can you not see it?"
"What am I to look for."
"It's gone. What have they done? There’s no life here. The cities are empty.”
“Big war did dis.”
“Everything’s gone.”
“We go back to our time un forget dis place.”
“We can’t.”
“We can no go back?”
“No.”
“Why not for? Ya find portal. We go back.”
“You don’t understand. Everything’s gone. Even Black Tower. Black Tower's gone. It should be right there. It's not there."
"Dat is bad?"
"We need Black Tower to open a portal. I don’t know how to without it.”
“Is we trapped here?”
“I don’t know. Every time portal to take us away... I’ve always been able to find Black Tower, to take us back. But it’s gone. I've never seen a future, without Black Tower. It's always been there. No matter how far into the past or future, it's always there. We’re in a future, without Black Tower. I don’t know how to get us home.”
“I does nay like dis future.”
“Nor I.”
"What do we do?"
"I don't know. I didn't expect this. I thought we'd get to Black Tower and just go home."
"Can we find exact spot? Maybe portals still there even wid out de tower? Yes?"
"Yes. We'll do that."
"Yi sure dis where Golden Rooster was?"
"Yes."
"Den Black Tower, should be dat way? Perhaps trees is too tall now un Black Tower still dair, we just can no see it for de trees, yes?"
"You're right. We'll keep walking. If it is gone, we should at least find ruins."
The two continued walking, several more hours until they reached the blueberry plains along the ravine.
“At least the Forest of No Return is still here. We’ll sleep here tonight.”
That night Quaraun lay quietly staring up at the fragmented, crumbling moon, wondering what had happened to this decimated planet, wondering what Ongadada was and why the Humans had thought he was a warrior, and worrying about the lack of frogs croaking and crickets chirping.
<<< Previous Chapter:
Next Chapter: >>>
Volume 22: GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover
A portal opens up in their path and unexpectedly zaps Quaraun and Unicorn into the middle of the American Civil War, landing them right in the Confederate Army Camp. Mistaking Unicorn for an escaped slave and the French Canadian Quaraun for being an underground railway freedom fight for the North, they both find themselves in irons in front of a firing squad.
But one should never try to fight the world's most powerful Necromancer in a battle field of dead soldiers, especially not when he also has a Lich at his command.
With the Americans left to fight hoards of zombies, Quaraun and Unicorn escape to the nearby woods, where they discover the past, isn't what they thought it was, and this war, is actually a thousand years in the future... when Humans have progressed too far and are fast destroying themselves and their planet.
In a future after the Battle of Ongadada has already happened, wandering through fields of crashed planes, downed rockets, and dead autos, and worrying about the moon that is now shattered into millions of asteroids, another portal opens up, this one dropping the Chaos Demon GhoulSpawn into the Pink Necromancer's bed.
The three must work together to find their way back to the 1400s where they belong, but the growing relationship between Quaraun and GhoulSpawn has Unicorn venting his Lichish fury on the locals.
Desperate to return back to their correct time, the trio, head to Black Tower, only to find its been destroyed by GhoulSpawn's future self: Gremlin the deranged Chaos wizard whose only goal now is to crash the moon into Earth and wipe out life entirely...
Trapped In The Civil War
The Scared Necromancer
Someone's Eating The Moon
Down By the River
GhoulSpawn and the Drunk Necromancer
Two Lovers, Two Armies, and an Angry Lich
The Angry Lich
The Dying Elf
Trapped
Changes
Demon Lover
White Rock Asylum For The Criminally Insane
The Gremlin's House/Kill The Baby
GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover Was Written As Part of a Write & Publish A Book In A Week Challenge
Full Details On How This Book Was Written Can Be Found Here:
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Pages Which Feature More Sample Scenes From
GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lords Lover
As Well As Details On How This Book Was Written
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Who is GhoulSpawn?
GhoulSpawn does not a appear in many of the stories in the series, but when he does, he tends to push Quaraun out of centre stage and step in as the main character of the story. His backstory is one of the primary arches of the series. Books with his name in the title, feature him as the primary PoV character.
GhoulSpawn is one of the very early characters from the series and was featured as the main character throughout many stories written in the 1970s and 1980s, where he was then seen as the elderly Gremlin, a mad scientist who claimed to be an ancient wizard and had difficulty staying out of a straight jacket.
Many of the stories from the early Twighlight Manor series were told from Gremlin's perspective, and were presumed to be the narrations of a schizophrenia patent to his psychiatrist (which as you know most every story in this series is, thus why the 1400s scenes are often broken up by White Rock's doctors.
GhoulSpawn is the ancient Gremlin's younger self.
GhoulSpawn is a teenager from the 1970s, who was whisked away to the 1400s by an LSD powered time machine that was built out of a 1974 AMC Gremlin. It is unknown who built the car or why. GhoulSpawn acquired it when he was around 13 years old. The story he tells, is that he one day encountered a group of hippies in the park, and set out to play a game of live action (LARP) Dungeons and Dragons with them, himself playing a Chaos Wizard half-Elf. The game was interrupted by a police raid, as it turned out the hippies were LSD chemists and the glove compartment of the car full of drugs. During a high speed chase to escape police, the car suddenly flew into the sky and was sent through a portal where GhoulSpawn found himself in the 1400s, now transformed into the half-Elf Chaos wizard he had played in the game.
The first time he encounters Quaraun and Unicorn is 2 years later at age 15, in the story The City of the Screaming Statues.
Though Quaraun is the most powerful Wizard ever known, GhoulSpawn far surpasses Quaraun's ability. Quaraun often arrogantly refers to GhoulSpawn as a mage (a slur again magicians) due to the fact that GhoulSpawn has no formal training in Wizardry.
Quaraun, an elderly Elf, 500 years old upon meeting the 15 year old GhoulSpawn; himself spent 300 years learning magic, and can not fathom any belief that GhoulSpawn is a Wizard, due to GhoulSpawn's being so very young.
By the time the 15 year old GhoulSpawn meets Quaraun in City of the Screaming Statues, the young half-Elf has mastered the art of casting in real life the over the top fictional spells from his DnD Player's Handbook and Dungeon Master's Guide and has made himself a long green velvet frock coat, the lining of which is lined with more than 2 dozen pockets that are made out of bags of holding.
Amoung other things, GhoulSpawn carries his car, a big red armchair, around 200 Dungeons and Dragons books, and an ever growing herd of sheep in his pockets.
GhoulSpawn is not in the series again until Summoner of Darkness, where he appears as both the 16 year old GhoulSpawn and the 1,000 year old Gremlin.
Quaraun frequently is walking along and suddenly finds himself in a completely different town, with no real understanding of what has happened. Because he has no ability to comprehend the concept of time travel the early novels do not tell the reader that time travel has happened.
While the time travel element is hinted to in previous volumes, Summoner of Darkness is the first volume of the series to specifically introduce the weird events in Quaraun's life as him falling through portals and coming out in different time periods.
In Summoner of Darkness, The Gremlin finds himself stuck in the 1400s when his computer runs out of power before he leaves, resulting in Quaraun discovery that GhoulSpawn is a time traveler and that they keep meeting him at different ages. For example, Quaraun encounters a 15 year old, a 16 year old, a 1,000 year old and a 1,700 year old version of GhoulSpawn, all in the space of about 6 hours, in Summoner of Darkness.
GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover, is the first time in the Quaraun series that GhoulSpawn takes on a leading role, with most of the story centering on him instead of primary main character Quaraun.
Lich Lord's Lover is set 4 years after GlouSpawn first meet Quaraun, making him now 19 in the story.
After GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover, GhoulSpawn does not again appear in the series until GhoulSpawn the Crazed and The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer, which is Part 2 of Lich Lord's Lover and picks up 3 days after Lich Lord's Lover ends.
Rose Garden is the last volume to feature GhoulSpawn before he is killed by a Thullid, which sucks out his brain, moves into his body and lives inside his corpse reanimating it, thus becoming The Gremlin.
Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer is the story which contains the death of GhoulSpawn and the birth of Gremlin in his place.
GhoulSpawn the Thullid infested undead half-Elf continues to make cameo appearances throughout the series, with his most prominent roles being in:
- The Haunted Lighthouse
- City of The Slushies
- Flamboyant Nipples
- The Battle of Ongadada
- Wild Ghosts' Ritual of the Vortex
- Dread Chant of The Fanboys
- The Pissed Off Pumpkin Patch
- The Crystal Palace of Mt Demontooth
- Lost In a Space That Isn't There
- The Haunted House of The Mind Controlling Pissed Off Pumkin Patch
- The Crystal Cave of Time and Necromancy
- The Poisoned Merman and the Castle of The Signing Sea Slugs
- The Bloody Embrace of the Thullid
- The Black Tower
- Zebulon's Captive
- The Myth of the Mullusk
- The Ties That Bind Us
- The Dragons of Ongadada
- The Curse of The Pissed Off Pumpkin Patch
- You Can Not Choose How History Remembers You
- My Two Favourite People
- Who Killed Quaraun The Insane
- The Malignant Candy Maker and The Labyrinth of The Fuzzy Wuzzy Fluffy Bunnies
- The Blood Stained Asylim of Terror: A Tale of White Rock Asylum For The Criminally Insane
- The Slaughtering of The Unicorn
And if you think that looks like a lot of volumes, more then could be considered him only appearing in A FEW volumes, do keep in mind that the series has more than 130 novels + an additional 145 volumes planned.
The final volume of the series (The Slaughtering of the Unicorn), is volume #275 of the series. The series starts when Quaraun meets Unicorn and ends when Unicorn dies, in case anyone was wondering about the reason for this particular volume being the end of the series.
In any case, of the 275 volumes of the complete series, GhoulSpawn appears in fewer than 30 volumes, making him only a minor character in the grand scheme of things, even though he is a primary character in most of the novels he is featured in, and events that happen with him or are caused by him, play major roles in most every novel in the series, even the ones he does not appear in.
GhoulSpawn remains one of the most hated and most loved characters in the series. People who dislike him, absolutely despise him and have gone so far as to request I remove his character from the series entirely. While people who love him, often cite him as their favourite character and often request I add him into more stories more often.
For the people who don't like him, I'm sorry, but he remains one of my favourite characters of the series and he's not going anywhere.
For the people who want to see more of him: there are plans to make changes to several stories in the series to include him in the future editions, more often.
You can find out more about GhoulSpawn here:
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Explaining GhoulSpawn's Sheep
A staple in every story that features GhoulSpawn, is his glittering technicolour herd of sheep, that gather around him to listen as he reads Dungeon's & Dragons manuals, while sitting in a red armchair, in the middle of some field.
I own the red chair, btw, which you see me sitting in in my BookTube videos while I read. You can see it in this video here:
The 2 most common reader questions asked about GhoulSpawn are:
- What the hell is it with the sheep? They don't serve any plot point and seem to be there for no reason at all. What the hell?
- Does GhoulSpawn have sex with his sheep or not?
The first story to feature Gremlin as a main character was The Wild Years, published in 1987. In this story he is a member of PETA on a mission to shut down Procter & Gamble, after encountering a local sheep farm that supplies lambs for Iams dogfood. In the slaughterhouse on the farm is a conveyor belt, onto which baby lambs are herded, then dropped into a grinder where they are chopped up while still alive.
If you have a stomach strong enough to view such things, you can see BOTH the Proctor & Gamble animal by-product grinder and McDonald's hamburger making grinder in this video here, which shows it being used on baby chickens and baby cows.
(The chicken grinder shown in this video is P&G's Iams dog food processing plant and the cow grinder seen here are Mcdonald's hamburgers be made for you.)
Please be warned, this anti-war, human rights, and animal rights protest video shows EXTREMELY GRAPHIC real life footage of poachers, slaughterhouses, human trafficing, KKK attacks, beheaded ISIS victims, and children killed by landmines.
VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED!
Back to GhoulSpawn, the series' resident uber extreme animal rights activist...
This was a very real farm and a very real machine which I had seen when I was 8 years old, and was the reason I became an animal rights activist and a vegetarian. This aspect of GhoulSpawn's character, his being a vegan animal rights activist with a vendetta against P&G is based off my own life. (If you did not know, I am the founder of the real world Procter & Gamble Boycott and many of the Twighlight Manor books were written specifically for the boycott, thus why a character like The Gremlin took centre stage.)
Readers came to know that if Gremlin was in the story, so too would be references to the evils of Procter & Gamble, Iams dogfood's horrific sheep grinding machine, and mysterious disappearing sheep, along with his random ramblings against McDonald's, Burger King, and other giants in the animal abuse industry.
Unfortunately for GhoulSpawn, he's often rambling on deaf ears, as Quaraun, Unicorn, and others from the 1400s, have no way to comprehend the future atrocities being described by the time traveller. The reactions of people from the 1400s varies from thinking GhoulSpawn is a raving lunatic (thus why he is dubbed "GhoulSpawn the Crazed") to people understanding that he has seen something which has horribly upset him and feeling pity for him, but not really being able to understand exactly what he is talking about.
And then, when he can't get people to listen to him, he starts pulling sheep out of his pockets, not realizing that back in the 1400s he's surrounded by superstitious people who view magic, Wizards, and such things as evil sorcery and people practicing them as witches to be burned and destroyed. As a teenager from the 1970s, GhoulSpawn has as much trouble comprehending the 1400s mind as they have comprehending him.
As no one but GhoulSpawn can get anything out of or even see anything in his pockets, he can safely stuff sheep in his pockets and then innocently stand there while people run around like mad trying to figure out where all the sheep are disappearing to. He'll stuff another sheep in his pockets every time no one is looking and will continue to do this until the entire herd is gone/in his pockets. At which point he'll then jump back in his 1974 AMC Gremlin, fly back to the 1400s and set the sheep loose in green pastures.
GhoulSpawn has a particular affinity for Cotswold sheep, and his habit of stealing/rescuing sheep and taking them to the past, is used as an explanation for why Cotswolds were so very overpopulated in Medieval times, yet today are considered an endangered species.
Over the years it became a running gag in the series for other characters to bully and tease Gremlin claiming he had a sex fetish for sheep. However, GhoulSpawn does not have sex with his sheep and often seen deeply upset over the accusation. Because most people in the 1400s do not believe GhoulSpawn is a time traveller from the future, they say that he made up his story of rescuing sheep from "the gambler" to cover up habits of beasillity. Quaraun and Unicorn remain two of the only people to believe GhoulSpawn's story as he has taken them to the future and they have seen the things he speaks of for themselves.
The reason for GhoulSpawn's obsession with sheep, is a secret he rarely reveals and is known only to his closet friends: while the series often bills him as a half-Elf, leaving people to assume in also half-Human, is is rather instead half-Demon, specifically he is an Uruisg, which is a Scottish Sheep Demon, a man with the upper body of a man and the lower body of a Cotswold sheep.
In keeping with the actual Irish, Welsh, and Scottish folklore about Uruisg, GhoulSpawn is somewhat of a trickster and causes chaos to ensure whenever he is around. Also like the actual folklore he is a notorious thief and pickpocket, compulsively unable to control his urge to simply pick up and take every shiny object he sees.
Things You May Not Have Known about GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover
It took a grand total of 17 days to plot, outline, write, edit, format, create the cover art, and publish GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover, making it my "fastest written" novel ever.
The text itself was written in a single weekend.
This was the first story in the series to say what colour Unicorn's skin was. While other stories said he was "dark" and EVERY story describes his massive frizzy woolly dreadlocked hair, this was the first story to specifically call him "black" and has racist Civil War solider characters calling him "a niggar".
GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover is the most returned novel in the series, with 97% of all copies sold to American readers being returned for a refund. However American sales make up only 5% of the total sales of the Quaraun series, with most of my readership being in Japan, Germany, and Brazil.
GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover is the first volume of the series to show Quaraun having sex with someone other then Unicorn.
I have received more then a 100 emails from angry white power Americans (most of them residents of Maine) who have informed me that upon the discovery the series contained a non-white character, they would read no further books of the series unless I rewrote them to make Unicorn a white man.
More then a dozen emails coplained that there was "no such thing as a black Scotsman", stating that all Scottish people were white.
Scotland has had black kings, and in the 1400s, the time period of the series, not only did Scotland have a black king, but you were MORE LIKELY to encounter a short/pygmy black or brown skinned NATIVE Scotsmen wearing furs, then a tall, red-haired white one wearing kilts, as the "British Invasion of Alba" had not yet happened and kilts (a British invention) would not be invented until the 1800s.
Several people have pointed out that silk kimono are Asian not Scottish and that a Scottish king should not be wearing them. Actually, in the 1400s Persian Gypsies lived in Scotland, and had brought bright coloured silk kimono with them. It was not uncommon for the black and brown skinned Scottish tribal leaders to wear silk kimono in the 1400s.
Meaning Unicorn's being a half-Asian and half-black man, wearing fur wraps and plaid great kilts over silk kimono, is in fact historically accurate for a 1400s Scottish king.
As stated in The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy The Unicorn, was born in Scotland, but is not Scottish by blood. His father being a black man from the Sepik Region of Papua New Guinea and his mother being a Japanese woman.
His father is a Phooka (a black demon) and his mother is an Aswang (an Asian demon).
In every story he is described as "looking like a dark skinned Asian". Which makes me wonder how readers did not know he was not white, prior to the release of this novel in particular.
The Space Dock 13 WebRing
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What do you want to become?
What did you do today to step closer to that goal?
Whatever you do, be your best at it!
And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!
~EK
EelKat.com
pinterest.com/eelkat/
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the destruction of my farm, and the illegal selling of half of my land to Colliard, you shall lose your land.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my being homeless since 2006 - YES, I AM still homeless in 2023, you shall become homeless.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the backhoe driving over my house, you shall lose your house.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my car being cut in half, you shall lose your car.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my becoming crippled, you shall lose your health.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the murder of my son, your child shall die an equally horrible death.Evil men go out of their way to try to drive a person to suicide.
Are you an evil man?
Are you sure you're not?
How many people have YOUR hate filled words killed?
Next time you go to do a mean thing to a fellow human, stop and really think about the consequences of your actions.
Did you ever notice how every one has a story to tell about me, yet not one of them ever speaks the truth?
What lies has YOUR gossiping tongue spread about me?
Did you know...
October 16, 2006, bomb blew up my house because of YOUR lies.
August 8, 2013, the house which replaced the one the bomb blew up, was driven over by a backhoe.
November 14, 2013, my 8 month old infant son was murdered because of your lies.
November 14, 2013, I was beaten up, paralized for 5 months, spent 18 weeks relearning to walk, I'm now crippled for the rest of my life, because of YOUR lies.
Are you proud of what you have done?
Enjoy your eternity in Hell. You earned it. You've certainly worked hard for it.
~EelKat
If you have any information about any of these events, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.
The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.
Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.
These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.
Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.
Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.
Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.
The Quaraun Series
 
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Meet The Characters:
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ZooLock the Great |
Quaraun's World:
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The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: First draft/sample chapters from the novels.
NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.
Answering Reader Question About The Quaraun Series:
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Behind the Scenes:
A Look At How I Write The Quaraun Series...
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The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house. The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following:
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The Quaraun series has been banned by the following:The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church (1991) (Reason: too much sex) (Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014) The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine (2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan) New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine (2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014) Fan-Fiction.net (2012) (Reason: Too violent) Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine (2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint) Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government (January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574) (Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents) NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".) Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban. |
Do you agree? #reading #quote pic.twitter.com/t3VjaM6UE7
— Janneke Jobsis-Brown (@JJobsisBrown) March 1, 2018
Sample Chapters of Many of the Novels Are Available To Read Online:
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Volume 13: King Gwallmaiic, The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley |
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Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 24: The Dread Chant of the Fan Boys |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 23: The Return To Fire Mountain Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake
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Volume 00: 000000 Volume 31: The Crystal Palace of Mt. Demontooth Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
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Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer
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Volume 00: 000000 Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive Volume 00: 000000 106: The Haunted Lighthouse |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 108: Friends Are Forever (Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series) |
Volume 119: My Two Favorite People
Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.
Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn, Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.
With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].
Reader discretion is advised.
Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?
Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.
April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing.
October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html
If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.
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