Welcome to the New Space Dock 13! Helping Authors Write Weird, Bizarre, Absurd, Psychedelic Horror-Fantasy Since 1996! (We've Moved & Changed URLs; Space Dock 13 is now EelKat.com) (We are also novel-writing-tips.com, a-pink-unicorn.com, & of course are still SpaceDock13.com)
I Now Hold The World Record For The Highest Level Ever Achieved in Witcher 3!!
If This Video Is Active, I'm Live Streaming Right Now...
WARNING: Avallac'h & Ciri Shipping Happens Daily In My Cult of Avallac'h Stream (This seems to piss people off so we seem to need to provide a warning about it)
For those asking if I'm ever going to return to Twitch streaming... I don't know at this point. I'm sick of the harassment.
It's been 2 years since I last did a stream when ThingyChan DID NOT send her group of shithead dipshits to my chat to chant "deserved to be raped" and "kill eelkat".... she has done it with 712 of my streams so far and blocking her and her 800 dipshit cultist followers do no good because they create new throwaway accounts as fast as I block and ban them.
That was bad enough, but she also made 200+ VODs each 4 to 7 hours long, that do nothing but spread highly sexualized malicious lies about me, in which she made the false accusation calling me a "bondage freak", a "BDSM dominatrix", and claiming I had a "foot fetish".
Her running gag memes on Discord are out of control, and not having a Discord myself, I was unaware of them. She started a trend, where if anyone, anywhere, talking about anything, said the word "BDSM", "bondage" or "foot fetish", everyone who read it was to reply in the comments below it "just like EelKat".
Additionally, she built up this massive post-written-rpg-fan-fiction of me, while claiming it was 100% true, depicting me as a whip carrying, pleather wearing, BDSM dominatrix, strip dancer, porn star, who own a gang bang house for men to pay money to be tortured by me.
This went on for 2 full years on Discord before I found out about it, and spanned over 2,000+ Discord posts, JUST WRITTEN BY HER, and not including the many, many, many TENS OF THOUSANDS of posts written by her fans, including her 150+ of which where she used the line: "EelKat is a cunt for liking that pussy Avallac'h".
One of the worst things she did, was to take the horrifying sexual, child abuse I suffered through at the hands of my uncles, and take word for word, line by line, EVERYTHING my uncles dd to me as a child, and make memes of Avallac'h doing those things to Ciri, knowing full well Avallac'h and Ciri and my favorite characters and that my obsession with Avallac'h is in part psychiatric prescribe therapy to use as a coping mechanism for dealing with the abuse I went through at the hands of my pedophile uncles.
On Twitch, she made an active stalking habit of finding very-pro-fundy-Christian groups, telling them her wild sex lies about me, working them into violent attack mode frenzies, and then siccing them on my channel chanting in my chat the message "deserve to be raped" and "kill eelkat". This went on from August 2018.
The worst thing though was sending 5 gang rapists with guns to my house. They totaled 3 cars including my Dazzling Razzberry, raped 2 military wives in the apartment next door to mine, killed a 10 year old boy, beat up and hospitalized 3 elderly men including my 82 year old dad who they put in the hospital with a ruptured kidney, and did $230,000 in damages to our landlord's apartment building, resulting in the city condemning the building, making 28 families homeless, which is why my family moved February 2019.
For the longest time, I was baffled and puzzled by the wild hate that was daily posted in my Twitch chat, from people who were clearly being sent to my channel, pre-worked up, and in a mass hoard, but I could not understand who was sending them or why.
I discovered ThingyChan as being the source of the harassment, on October 21, 2019, when I saw one of her live streams, where she was making a 3d model of a character who she titled "Bjorn The Bondage Freak Just Like EelKat". I had started watching the stream, to find out why my name was in the title. I watched for 3 hours while she and OutSideLane, another streamer on a multi-stream, and 37 members in her chat, and as many more in his chat, in total over 90 people, spent the entirety of the stream talking about my supposed BDSM bondage sex life and how they should make the 3D model Bjorn do the things I supposedly did.
The other streamer suddenly stopped talking and told ThingyChan: "EelKat's in your viewer list, let's take this to Discord" at which point they ended the multi stream.
So, I went to Discord to see what moving it to Discord meant and that's when I found the 2 year long running gag, the 2,000+ posts, and the 200+ VODs.
Among the VODs was one that she did on my birthday August 13, 2019, that was a JackBox stream, and was fully devoted to making 5 hours of lewd, sexualized jokes about me and Avallac'h, and had over 300 people in chat joining in.
When I contacted her to ask why she was doing this... her answer was: "Because it's fun!", "It's just a joke!" and "Besides, retarded cunts don't belong on Twitch".
Jokes are funny. Nothing about what she did is funny. Everything about what she did was mean and hurtful. And jokes don't cause harm. Two women were raped. A boy died. 3 elderly men were hospitalized. 3 cars were totaled. 28 families were made homeless. The landlord lost his business.
Those are some pretty BIG side effects for "just a joke".
What she did was mean, cruel, and far from harmless.
She has taken her "meme joke" harassment to levels of mind boggling extremes and, I'm just sick of it. She is out of control and she needs to stop.
I would like to be able to stream on Twitch without this psychotic bitch and her equally psychotic followers harassing me, each and every single stream.
I'm not bothering her, I don't know why she is bothering me.
I want her to leave me alone.
Evil is as evil does.
This is a perfect example of an evil person, doing evil things.
Bullies don't care, because bullies are mean and mean people care about no one.
These people are very, very, very mean.
August 2, 2020 UPDATE TO the above...
Twitch has now taken action against the attacks on my Twitch channel, so I may return to streaming soon...
Jokes can get you banned from Twitch, yes. One streamer spent the past 2 years "telling jokes" about me on their stream and discord, only I was unaware of it. Their followers started spreading the joke on other social medias.
The joke was telling people that I, a hijab wearing, modesty dressed Mormon, was a BDSM dominatrix running a gang bang service out of my house. The joke became a running gag, that involved more than 800 people across more than a dozen websites. In total more then 800 viewers helped this group of streamers slander my name with sex lies about me. They started "the joke" in April 2018, but I wouldn't find out about it for a very long time.
February 2019 -- 5 men with guns and baseball bats showed up at my apartment building... they raped 2 women, they beat up a lot of people, 3 elderly men, including my 82-year-old dad ended up in the hospital, my dad with a ruptured kidney, 3 cars in the driveway were totaled, including my daily driver, they smashed out the windows and walls of the building ripped out pipes and wires, did $230,000 in damages to the building... it was a medical building next door to a hospital, patients on life support and their families lived there... they ran through pulling out life support equipment... a 10 year old boy died because of it... the town condemned the building the damage was so bad, resulting in 28 families, becoming homeless .... it happened during a stream, so part of it was caught on live stream and the police got 300+ 911 calls from countries all over the world, reporting the attack.... the guys when arrested, said a streamer on Twitch, via her Discord, sent them, told them I was a BDSM dominatrix and that all the apartments in my apartment building with gang bang shops.... that's how I found about the "joke"... via the police report.
There's a big lawsuit going on right now, with everyone involved. 2 streamers are now in prison, several viewers are in jail or out on bail, more will likely follow.
The FBI is investigating every streamer and every viewer involved in the "joke".
And 2 weeks ago (July 2020) Twitch banned more than 70 of the people involved, including more than 20 streamers. The 800 viewers involved in the joke have also all received various forms of Twitch bans and suspensions.... for "just a joke" that in some cases they said only once, as long ago as 2 years ago, and not even on Twitch.
Do not underestimate something being "just a joke" and the consequences you could face for "just a joke".
*(The investigation into this is still ongoing. If you have information on any of the people involved in inciting this event, FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the
I have Kanner's Syndrome (ACTUAL Autism, not Aspergers), which means I'm not good at group things. I'm classified as Savant, meaning I have a few things that I obsess about, big time, and have world records in them as a result, and everything else in my life I still require a caretaker to help me with.
I was believed to be mute until I was 31 years old, when a college professor whose day job was working with Autism children, meet me at an Autism Awareness event (I own The Autism Awareness Car, which has 2.5million marbles glued to it - took 4 years to build it). He spent several years teaching me to talk and I was able to get a GED at age 37 (I had never been allowed to go to school as Autism in the 1970s = too retarded to be taught anything so why bother? It was assumed I couldn't be taught, so no one tried to, until I was 31 years old), and started college at age 42.
Today in addition to being a rabid gamer, I'm also an artist (acrylic on canvas and watercolor on rag) sell my art in local galleries, I build art cars and installation art, published over 130 Dark Fantasy novels, and became a retail merchandiser for Macy's, WalMart, and HallMark for 16 years because I'm very good at organizing things... I can't do much else, but I can certainly make sure nothing on the sales floor is out of place.
On Twitch I'm known for my ability to open up a video game and completely rewrite it removing and making my own... I rewrote Witcher 3, removed Geralt and Roach and the combat system, and build my own player character, made travel companions, wrote a new combat system, made new quests, made new maps... removed all the texture files and made all new ones. There's nothing in Witcher 3 that I have not rewritten. With over 4,000 mods now made for it, you can barely recognize my game as being Witcher 3 anymore.... and yet I can't read C++ code.
I spent my childhood and teen years, being told I would never amount to anything. I proved them all wrong.
People see the things I do very well (art, writing, my exemplary organization skills in retail stores, and my ability to open up a video game and completely rewrite it and making my own) but they often don't see past that.
Social skills are a thing I've not yet mastered, which makes streaming very difficult for me as, chat is sensory overload and I have it turned off. I also can't count, do Math, tell time, use calendars, use money, numbers are lost on me.
Basic things - bathing, eating, brushing my hair, etc - that most people have no trouble with, I have caretakers who have to help me do those thing, even though I'm 20, 30, 40 years older than my caretakers. I am VERY low-functioning, but I can write, I can paint, I disect video games, and I can organize things. I just can't do one thing else. Which is very upsetting, because I wish I could. I try too. I don't know why I can't. It's like there are a few things in my brain turned all the way up on super high and everything else is just turned off and won't come on.
And then there are issues with meltdowns, screaming fits, panic attacks, bad ones. Bad enough that I generally avoid contact with the public, simply because I'm tired of dealing with the police. Someone my age, screaming on the floor, people assume I'm on drugs and call the police. It's very frustrating, because I can not control these attacks and I can't stop them once they start.
It is extremely distressing, I'm insanely good at a few things, but everything else, things most of society doesn't bat an eye at, I can't do them, no matter how hard I try. And I'm not capable of "acting properly" or "behaving in socially acceptable ways".
Most people when they meet me in real life, they are very taken back, by how extremely disabled I am. Fans of my novels, meet me at book signings and ask: "So, what's the joke, what's this retard doing here, where's the author?" They refuse to believe, someone as deeply retarded as me, is capable of writing novels.
It hurts a lot, people's reactions to meeting me and them finding out the reality of what ACTUAL Autism, Kanner's Syndrome, is really like... and that it's NOTHING like Asperger's, with it's "cute Sheldon Cooper quirks" that they are used to and think of as being Autism.
They forget, people with Asperger's can live normal lives, they can pass for normal in public if they have too, they get married and have families, and I'm not capable of living on my own or without caretakers, and I never will be.
I wish more people knew the difference between Aspergers and Autism, and how vastly different they are from each other. Far too many people hear that I have Autism, and they automatically assume I have Aspergers, and then they meet me in person, and are shocked, horrified, and they tell me they've meet dozens, sometimes hundreds of Aspies, and when they meet me, they say, they realize, they've NEVER seen Autism before, in spite of all the hundreds of Aspies they've met, and then they tell me, they wish they had known, they wished someone had told them, how starkly different Autism is from Aspergers, because they always say, no matter how many Aspies they worked with, it never prepared them to come face to face with ACTUAL REAL Autism, Kanner's Syndrome, for the first time.
1 in 3 children have Aspergers, it's very common, but only 1 in 1,200,000 children have Autism, it's very rare. In the wake of the mass flood of people calling Asperger's Autism, people forget how incredibly rare actual Autism really is. They aren't the same thing and until you've seen both side by side, you don't realize how different they really are.
People forget WHY I became such a good writer. I was mute for 31 years. Writing was the only way I could communicate with anyone. But I grew up in a family that crumpled up the paper, never even looked at it. In their minds I was too stupid to talk and therefore anything I wrote on paper MUST have been gibberish. They didn't even look at it. So I wrote letters to the cats that lived with us. I started doing that when I was 8 years old. I still do it 50+ years later.
But I'm not likely to be much use in a group, as outside of writing, art, video games, and organizing sale floors of retail stores, I'm too retarded to be able to do anything else. I'm rarely welcomed in groups, because I'm too retarded, too Autistic to fit in, or so I'm always told. I'm rarely of any use to anyone.
Wait... you're that freak that brought otherkin to the internet aren't you? You're like the founder of online otherkin awareness movement or something.
I did on some level introduce OtherKin, or rather, ElfKin, to the internet in 1996.
I am considered to be one of, if not the VERY FIRST OtherKin to grace the internet.
Though, I am ElfKin, not OtherKin. They are different.
I completely reject Humanity.
I live my life, as an Elf.
I have done so, since 1987.
As of 2020, I have lived as an Elf for 33 years.
I hate Humans.
I feel no empathy, sympathy, or compassion for Humans.
I see Humans as vile, evil creatures, whom I share no connection to.
I feel nothing but revulsion for Humans.
There has never been a point in my life when a Human showed me any kindness, love, or compassion.
I have been tortured, beaten, caged, raped, shunned, outcast, ostracized, and bullied endlessly by Humans.
The Humans who raised me, kept me locked in a cage from the time I was 8, until I was 31 years old. They said they did so because I was not a Human and was not allowed to participate in Human activities like eating at the table, sleeping on a bed, using a toilet, or bathing. They said I was a Changeling, brought to them by Demons. They claimed the real Human baby was taken from them, and I was a Demon left in it's place. And while I agreed with them, that I had no similarities to their Human nature, I did not believe myself a Demon either.
I was 31 years old the first time anyone told me I was a Human. But no one has yet been able to prove to me that I possess the evilness of Humans.
Unlike Humans, I feel love.
Unlike Humans, I feel pain.
Unlike Humans, I shed tears.
Unlike Humans, I feel empathy.
Unlike Humans, I feel sympathy.
Unlike Humans, I feel compassion.
I have tried for 40 years, to live among Humans, but I've yet to meet a Human that will accept me as a part of their society.
I have never been welcomed by any Human.
I have never been accepted by any Human.
The older I get and the more Humans I meet, the crueler I learn that they are, the stronger my hatred for the entirety of Humanity grows.
I searched for years to find out, what I was, where I fit in, where I belonged, for everywhere I went, I was repeatedly told I was too strange, too bizarre, too different, too alien, too not-Human to be welcomed in any group, any church, and community, offline or online.
Since I was a toddler I felt a strong kinship to Eels and Cats, thus my name. My Native American grandmother named me EelKat when I was 3 years old, citing that Eels and Cats were my spirit animals.
My other grandmother called me FarSighted, because I talked to ArchAngels and Faeries in the forest. She said I walked through the veil between the Spirit World. She died when I was 8 years old.
As I grew older, and continued to be ostracized by all of Human society, I started researching the things Grammy Eva and Grammy Helen has said: Spirit Animals, Fairy Sighted, and Walking the Veil. That is when I realized, everyone was right... my parents, my uncles, everyone at every church I ever attended, random strangers I meet on the streets... every one, every single Human, as always said, I either was not Human, didn't act Human, or seemed to be Alien to Human Society, like I came from another world.
The Humans who raised me, kept me locked in a cage from the time I was 8, until I was 31 years old. They said they did so because I was not a Human and was not allowed to participate in Human activities like eating at the table, sleeping on a bed, using a toilet, or bathing. They said I was a Changeling, brought to them by Demons. They claimed the real Human baby was taken from them, and I was a Demon left in it's place. And while I agreed with them, that I had no similarities to their Human nature, I did not believe myself a Demon either. And decades later, after researching, I feel they were right.
The more I studied, the more I realized, everything I do that Humans say is strange and bizarre, things like love, feeling pain, shedding tears, empathy, sympathy, or compassion, those things Humans are incapable of doing, that I do and brand me as starkly notHuman, they were all things the Ljósálfar do.
So I researched the Ljósálfar. They do many thing I do, that Humans find to be my most deplorable traits: like growing flowers, being vegan, and not hurting animals, shunning drinking of alcohol, smoking, drugs, or owning weapons.
I eventually came to believe I am an Elf trapped in the world of Humans, as some sort of test.
No. I do not believe I am Human.
Yes. I do believe I am an Elf.
Yes, I AM that "freak" who introduced the internet to the concept of OtherKin, via ElfKin, in 1996.
Yes, I am the textbook standard, found in actual medical books, used by Psychiatry students, yes, those are photos of me you see in your college textbooks and in the Journal of Psychiatry entry. I am the first one diagnosed and therefore the standard by which all OtherKin are measured.
Yes, I am the measure by which all OtherKin around the world measure if they too are OtherKin or not. But I wonder how many of them, know the origin of the term OtherKin and how many of them would call themselves that label is the ACTUALLY KNEW, the ACTUAL origin and meaning of the word?
OtherKin is not a label I use to call myself. The term OtherKin was coined by team of Psychiatrists, who didn't know what else to call me. They classified me at first as "a Feral Child with Learned Schizophrenia", citing that while I didn't have Schizophrenia, all 5 of the uncles and their father, who raised me did have Schizophrenia and because I was raised in total isolation with zero contact with anyone outside of these men, I was raised as though what they were was normal because I had no outside source by which to judge that how they raised children was not normal, nor was how they lived their lives normal. I was told by these Psychiatrists, that once I got out in Human society and found out what mainstream society was like, I would see, how different, how unique, how bizarre, and how unusual and not the norm, my uncles were.
I have lived among mainstream society for 33 years now and I have yet to meet a kind, loving, friendly Human.
This group of Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists, coined the term OtherKin, because they said there was nothing I conformed to, no textbook illness that matched what I was. They toyed with the idea of diagnosing me many different ways because they said that on the surface I seemed like this or that, but then, comparing all the symptoms, I never fully matched up.
Schizophrenia didn't stick because there were no voices in my head telling me what to do. After tossing out the option of Schizophrenia, they tried out Multiple Personality Disorder and also Dissociative Identity Disorder. But, I don't have multiple people I become. Both of those have the requirement of becoming someone else, another person. MPD you are unaware of the other people "living in you" while DID you are fully aware of the "other people" and communicate with them and likely have a lot of past life experiences. I don't believe in past lives or reincarnation or being multiple people inside of one mind. I dress up in costumes of characters, but I never try to be that character, I simply like to wear their pretty clothes.
They tried considering Asperger's for a bit, but I missed many, many, many a mark there.
In the end my official diagnosis is: Actual Autism Kanner's Syndrome, with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and SchizoAffective or maybe Schizotypal tendencies, I can't tell, and the most bizarre behaviour of refusing to believe she is Human, largely because she was raised in an isolated UFO Cult that raised her as a Demon from infancy to middle age. She has many phobias most notable a severe and disturbing phobia of Humans in general and Men in particular. There is no correct diagnosis for her. She is unique. This is a unique case. I am putting in a request to the State for funding to study her. This is something new. This needs to be studied. We are witnessing the side effect of child who was raised in total isolation. A child that was never loved, never kissed, never hugged, never showed empathy, sympathy, or compassion. She feels nothing for Humans. She does not believe she is Human. There has never been a documented case like this before. This is the worse case of child abuse in American history.
I did not found any "OtherKin Awareness Groups" as is the common internet misconception. I don't even use the term OtherKin. It's a label OTHERS slap on me, as further proof that I don't belong in Human society, am not Human enough to fit in, not Human enough to be welcomed, not Human enough to be included. That's all the label OtherKin means to me. Yet more proof that Humans hate me, see me as not Human, and feel the need to put a label on me.
But I am the standard by which all who claim to be OtherKin, measure if each other is OtherKin or not, because I am the textbook case, the original test subject, that caused Psychiatrists to coin the term OtherKin, so most people believe I am the "first" OtherKin, even though groups like The Silver Elves existed in the 1970s, long before the FBI raid that rescued me from one of the Heaven's Gate compounds.
No. I do not try to bring awareness to the "OtherKin Movement". OtherKin is a psychological disorder that for some odd reason, teens and young adults, think of as some sort of roleplaying, cosplaying movement. They don't know what it is. They never looked up any medical journals or psychiatry textbooks. They change what they are on a whim, a Vampire today because they love Twilight, a Witcher tomorrow because they saw the NetFlix series, SpiderMan next week after they watch that movie. They don't know what OtherKin is. It's not a fandom. It's not roleplay. It's not dressing up. And you're a fool if think that's what it is.
People get the misconception that it is roleplaying and cosplaying because I am prone to dress up in elaborate costumes. I like their clothes. It's as simple as that. I'm trying to be them. I don't roleplay them. I don't pretend I am them. I simply like to wear their clothes, in the exact same way, every teenage girl in school has to wear the same t-shirt as her best friend.
When the OtherKin diagnosis was coined, I didn't yet wear costumes. I'd never seen TV or movies or video games. I'd never been to school or doctors. I had no point of reference for what any of these characters would have looked like. The wearing of elaborate costume came about almost a decade AFTER Psychiatrists coined the term OtherKin to describe me.
OtherKin, was referencing my refusal to accept the fact that I was Human, when Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists tried to convince me that I was not a Changeling Demon switched at birth like the adults who raised me had taught me to believe.
OtherKin, was referencing the fact that my combined hatred for and phobia of Humans was so great that I had no ability to believe I was a Human, when they told me I was.
OtherKin, it's ACTUAL Journal of Psychiatry definition, is very simply: The belief that one is not Human and is something other than Human. That's what OtherKin means.
Anyone who tells you OtherKin is anything else, has no clue what OtherKin is, knows nothing about it's history, knows nothing about how the term was coined, and is completely clueless about OtherKin in general.
People like to come in saying things like: "Well, because I think OtherKin is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of OtherKin to include ___"
No. OtherKin is an ACTUAL MEDICAL DISORDER... you don't walk into a doctors office and say:
"Well, because I think Cancer is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of Cancer to include ___"
"Well, because I think Asthma is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of Asthma to include ___"
"Well, because I think being stung by a bee is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of being stung by a bee to include ___"
"Well, because I think broken bones are about ___ I think we should change the meaning of broken bones to include ___"
"Well, because I think Influenza is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of Influenza to include ___"
"Well, because I think Diabetes is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of AIDS to include ___"
"Well, because I think SmallPox is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of SmallPox to include ___"
Now can you now see how utterly stupid and idiotic people are when they say: "Well, because I think OtherKin is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of OtherKin to include ___"?
And, no, OtherKin is not the thing where, you wake up one morning and feel like wearing a cat ears headband, so that therefore makes you a cat.
The problem with OtherKin is there is far too much misinformation out there about what OtherKin is, written largely by know-nothing 10 year old children who couldn't tell their ass from a hole in the ground, and think that because they want to wear a headband with cat ears, that gives them to authority to rewrite the definition of medical illnesses.
OtherKin is a mental disorder. It's not a movement. Not a trend. Not a fad. But for some reason, in the last 20 years or so, people have thought it "cool" to "be OtherKin" so, they jumped on a bandwagon to try to be something that they really had no idea what it actually was.
Today, because, thanks to Tumblr and Instagram, OtherKin is now interchangeable with Furries and CosPlay, the OFFICIAL diagnosis of the Mental Illness as listed in the Journal of Psychiatry has been changed from OtherKin to Species Dysphoria, to definasciate from the the actual mental illness of not believing one is Human and the current fad trend of dressing up roleplaying.
People who say I started a movement or awareness groups or claim I try to bring awareness to the OtherKin movement, have no clue who or what I am and are talking out their asses. They don't know me. They do not speak for me. And they certainly don't understand me or how I live my life.
What's your thought on fictionkin? Do you think fictionkin is valid? I'm just a bit curious to know. Personally I think it's really neat! Is that what you do?
I am not FictionKin.
I am EelKin turned ElfKin, according to people who believe in Kinship.
I don't move in OtherKin circles, groups, or communities.
I am considered the "first" or "original" OtherKin, by many in the "OtherKin community" and I hate it, because I have never identified as OtherKin and deeply dislike labels being slapped onto me by vile Humans who try translate what they think I am.
What are labels? A label is simply a way to point at someone and say: "they are not Human enough to be accepted in society". That's all any label is.
And that is all any Human has ever done to me. Label me as this, label me as that.
Never once has ANY Human, ever thought to look at me as another Human, as another member of society, as a potential friend.
Because I am technically "the first" OtherKin, seeing how I was the patient in question, when the team of Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists coined the term. I am a patient who was undiagnosable and had "something new", and "OtherKin" was the working title. But because I am technically "the first" OtherKin, I am constantly being contacted by founders, creators, and moderators of groups, forums, subreddits, Discords, FaceBook groups, and other various assorted online communities. I don't know why. I think they see me as a "celebrity" in terms of OtherKin. I'm supposedly the "ideal OtherKin" whom others try to be like.
But... I'm not trying to "be" anything. I don't even call myself OtherKin or ElfKin or EelKin or UnicornKin or CatKin or FoxKin, all of those being types of Kins that people has used to describe me.
I accept the invites and then never post in their communities or groups, because I find myself incredibly uncomfortable around most people who call themselves "OtherKin", because 99.9% of the ones I've encountered are very clearly teenagers and young kids in their 20s who are just trying to be part of a club. They don't actually have post traumatic stress disorder, they know nothing about child abuse or rape, or witnessing multiple murders, or trying to cope with being raised in a cage from the age of 8 years old to 31 years old while also being raised to believe you were a demo, because the adults in your life had schizophrenia and couldn't tell the difference between children and demons. They don't know what it is like to be 31 years old the first time any one ever suggested to you that you might actually be a human, and everything the adults taught you about your lack of Humanity was a lie.
When I accept the invites to join these groups, I go there, hoping to find others like myself, who were never Human, not once from their time of birth. I go there hoping to find others like myself, who were rejected by Humans from the day they were born. But all I ever find are happy go lucky juvenile delinquents rebelling by wearing cat-ear headbands while licking milk out of a bowl. They ENJOY pretending to be animals. They have fun, partying in their fur tails. They have no trauma. They know nothing about OtherKin and it's origins. What OtherKin is or how the word got coined.
The bulk of them are just a group of kids looking for a party where they can dress up in costumes. Only this and nothing more. And that is not OtherKin. Not even close.
Now, that is not to say there is anything wrong with what you are, no matter what you are or how you identify. Your identity is certainly valid and should be acknowledged. I'm not saying it's invalid or should be pushed aside or ignored. What I'm saying is, chances are very high that what you are classifying as OtherKin, is not in fact OtherKin.
That's the problem with online OtherKin communities. They spread far too much misinformation and leave actual, correct information spread far too thin and this leads to a lot of confusion.
The thing is I AM the ACTUAL MEDICAL, psychiatric definition of OtherKin, and it's incredibly rare to the point that fewer then 100 people have ever, EVER been diagnosed with it EVER. Fewer then 100 people in all of the millions of years of this Earth having existed. That's not many people.
And yet, there are MILLIONS of OtherKin, so called, self proclaimed OtherKin just on Tumblr, and not a one of them has a clue what OtherKin even is and that's painfully obvious.
The problem with the invites to join these groups, is I'm not what they think I am. They expect me to be a roleplaying party animal like them and I'm not.
And the fact remains - I hate Humans, and they are just Humans dressed like cats and dogs.
Let me repeat this: I HATE HUMANS.
I WISH HUMANS WOULD DIE. ALL OF THEM. I HATE THEM.
And you want me to join your little group of pretenders? I hate every one of you and you think ha-ha oh she's being in character.
I really do hate Humans.
No Human has EVER given me a reason to think otherwise.
No Human has ever been my friend.
Every Human I have ever met, pretends to be my friend for a few days, then they turn into cruel, hateful, backstabbing bastards.
Humans are incapable of love, friendship, compasion, sympathy.
Humans are evil.
Humans are cruel.
Humans are sadistic.
Humans enjoy hurting others.
Humans are hateful creatures who do nothing hurt everyone in their path.
And if you don't understand THAT, well, Honey, then you CERTAINLY Are NOT OtherKin.
OtherKin is not about your spiritual awakening, your identification with an animal guide... OtherKin is the hatred of Humans, on levels so extreme, that wish all Humans would die.
OtherKin is about you NOT being Human and seperating yourself from Humans because Humans are pieces of shit.
Humans can not be trusted.
Never turn your back on a Human.
There is NOTHING good in a Human.
And if you are ACTUAL, REAL, MEDICALLY DIAGNOSED as OtherKin, then I don't need to tell you that, because you already know evil Humans are.
Humans exist to kill, steal, and destroy. Only this and nothing more. There is nothing else in Humanity.
And the online OtherKin Communities who send me invites to join them.... I've yet to encounter one, single, solitary, actual, real, medically diagnosed OtherKin in any of them. And I've checked them all, and encountered well over a million people who claim to be OtherKin.
I go there are look, in hopes that one day, i will find someone, like myself, who is not Human and has never been accepted by Humans. But there is no one like me. Not surprising, seeing how in all the milinia of the Earth, fewer then 100 people have ever been diagnosed.
And the online OtherKin Communities who send me invites to join them....They do what everyone does and start rumors about me, gossiping among themselves about what they THINK I am, and they build up fanfiction, fantasy worlds about me, that have no basis in reality. They hyped up and excited, fall in love with the fictional version of me that they created in their heads, and then find themselves deeply disapointed when they actually talk to me for the first time and find out that 100% of everything they liked about me, was just fiction made up them, themselves.
Labels. They label me into a group and they love the IDEA of me as that label in that group, but then, meeting me shatters their fantasies about me, when they realize, I'm not what they told themselves I was.
That's the problem with OtherKin and people who call me OtherKin.
You see, they think I'm joking when I say I hate Humans, but I could show you a copy of my psychological evaluation, and the entire section, where the psychiatrist worried about my server homicidal desire to kill all Humans.
I'm not joking when I tell you, that if you act even remotely Human in my presence, I will pull a brick out of my tote bag and smash your jaw in. I've done it many times.
My psychological evaluation, has a full section, of worries that I show no empathy for Humans on any level what so ever, to the point of extreme Sociopathy. Yes, that's a word in my evaluation.
Far too many people look at my being the original "OtherKin" patient, and don't read the full report. They giddy with joy, thinking I'm play acting, role playing, pretending. I'm not. I don't joke. I never joke. Do you know why? I'll tell you why.
My uncles, while beating me in the face with a shovel when I was 8, or breaking my jaw with a cinder block brick when I was 14, or stabbing my arms with forks when I was 4, or driving a 2 foot long foundation nail through my hip leaving me crippled ever since I was 6 years old, or cutting the bottoms of my feet with rusted saw blades when I was 13.... or any of the hundreds of similar things they did.... while they did it, they always said the same thing: "It's just a joke, hahahahahahahaha!", "I'm only joking, hahahahahahaha!"
I have scars all over my body.... scars from wounds that bled for days. Wounds that should have been seen by a doctor. Wounds, that they filled with maggots, because they kept maggots in jars for that reason.
Do you know what it feels like to have you hands chained to cinder blocks, and forks driven into your arms with a hammer, that drove the tines in all the way to the bone, another fork put in, the wound torn open, and maggots poured in, as the adults around you laughed and slapped each other on the back over the good fun joke they were doing, because, the 5 year old girl they are torturing, is not Human, so it doesn't matter, because she's just a changeling left behind by Demons who took the real child. Have you ever watched maggots crawl under your skin then chew their way back out. And finally pass out hours later, and be left there unconscious for days in pools of your own blood. And when you wake up, the adults are disapointed, that you, the Demon Changeling is still alive.
That's what I grew up with.
I was 31 years old when the FBI raid rescued me.
My entire first 31 years of life, was spent being daily tortured, daily told it was okay, because I wasn't Human anyways.
The end result is the only thing in my mind that is more evil then rape and murder, is a joke.
And you'll find out how fast I beat you to a pulp if you dare say word joke in my presence. A joke is the only thing more triggering to me than rape.
Still think you are OtherKin or you know anything about me and my life, how much I hate Humans, or the fact that OtherKin was a term created by Psychiatrists, as a working title to diagnose me, the child who survived "the world child abuse case in American history"?
Yeah. the "OtherKin Community" has a vastly warped view of who I am, and why I'm the way I am.
When you ask me questions about OtherKin and CosPlay and RolePlay... and worse, when you try to sexualize anything about me or make mems about me and say you are just joking... you just make me hate Humans even more. Because you can call yourself OtherKin all you want, but you, running around playing and joking and laughing and smiling, you forget, I don't do any of those things.
Jokes. Laughing. Smiling..... I see those things as a threat and a reason to fight back. And clearly the OtherKin Community knows nothing of trauma, torture, and abuse at the hands of Humans.
OtherKin, it's ACTUAL Journal of Psychiatry definition, is very simply: The belief that one is not Human and is something other than Human. That's what OtherKin means.
If you believe something, you have no doubts, so you would never ask "Am I OtherKin?".
I have yet to find an OtherKin on any online community, who TRULY BELIEVED they were not Human. They will tell you they feel connected, they say they no longer want to be Human. Most acknowledge themselves as the spirit of a non-Human living in a Human body.
Answer me this... how can you stop being Human if you don't believe you are Human? Only someone who believes they are Human would say they want to stop being Human.
They build character sheets, detailing the backstory of their alternate being. But if the being IS YOU, then your life, your childhood, your experiance ARE your backstory. If you had to write a character backstory, you are not OtherKin, you are Multiple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder.
OtherKin you are YOU. You are just not Human and not accepted by Humans as Human. You live with Humans and your experiences with them, are very simply the experiences you have every day, and you don't need to sit down and write a backstory. There is no backstory in OtherKin.
Me? I wouldn't know the first thing about feeling Human, because I never was Human. I never had a transition. I never shifted. I never felt the need to STOP being Human, because there was never a point from the day I was born, when anyone ever acknowledge me as being Human.
But, let's answer your question. My email inbox is so full of so many OtherKin questions. Someday I'll get around to answering them. Let's start with your's.
When you ask me about what type of OtherKin I am, it is immediately clear that you know nothing about me, my history, or the history of the origins of the word OtherKin.
The first known group of OtherKin was ElfKin and was The Silver Elves, and the group still exists. They were founded in 1978. I joined them in 1987. I did not remain Silver Elf, as I found more of a connection to Elves in general, and they were a bit more "religion focused" (like they wanted people to obey their set of rules and such, with was too restrictive for me and contrary to how I felt Eves were). Because of the connection to spiritual teachings, in America The Silver Elves are considered a "legally recognized religion" by the Federal government (same as Catholic, Wicca, Baptist, LDS/Mormon, Voodoo, etc are considered as such). They are really connected to the spiritual and religious side of OtherKin and I liked that a lot.
The term OtherKin, was coined in 1997 by a group of Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists and was the working title of the mental illness that would eventually become known as Species Dysphoria.
So calling groups like The Silver Elves "OtherKin" is questionable at best, but they are considered by most "OtherKin" to be the first "OtherKin Group", even though their compound was founded in 1978 and the term OtherKin was coined in 1997.
Being older (elderly) and an ElfKin for 40+ years now, I've seen the OtherKin movement evolve and change a lot. There is always something in it that makes me go: "What the f...?"
But there is never a point when I think: "They are not valid because of ____."
It's always just a reaction of more: "Wow! Boy do they have a completely different take on OtherKin than what I've always thought it was."
And then after I think about it I'm: "Yeah, yeah, I can see how they feel that way. Yep, that makes sense."
I think, because I'm a lot older, and got into it via The Silver Elves originally, I end up taking a very spiritual/religious outlook on it, where I see Elves sort of as my "spirit animals" so to speak... and it seems like, more recently, especially in teens and 20s age group, their take on OtherKin is more, like Dissociative Identity Disorder, like they actually believe they REALLY ARE an Elf or Wolf or whatever.
The first time I heard of the new form of OtherKin, the "I'm not a Human, I'm a Dog" type, my mind was: "Wow! That's crazy!" You see, I look at OtherKin as "I'm channeling the spiritual energy of the Dog, not, I literally become a Dog because I don't want to be Human any more." So, at first, I just had a hard time wrapping my mind around the new "Tumblr style" OtherKin. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I realized, no, it's not crazy, because they are doing the same thing I'm ding, they are just doing it differently.
I mean, I use guided meditations and visualizations and oracle cards to connect with the spirit world and it's energy, and for me, connecting to Elf energy and Unicorn energy and ArchAngel energy has always been the best/easiest way for me to do that. And in guided meditation, you often focus on mentally becoming the Elf or Fox or Raven or whatever your spirit guide is, and so yeah, thinking of it that way, suddenly the new style of OtherKin didn't seem crazy to me anymore and I realized, they are just like me, only different.
And then I heard of FictionKin and I was like mind blown. I was like: "OMG, you don't really believe you actually ARE Harry Potter, do you?"
But then almost immediately I was reminded how many times people said to me: "OMG, you don't really believe you actually ARE Lord Sesshomaru, do you?" because I "CosPlayed" him for 9 years... not to conventions, no, I dressed like him 24/7/365 every day for 9 years, around the house, to go shopping, just all day, every day.
People interviewing me about that back in 2005 and 2007 is one of the early things that brought OtherKin to the internet. When people asked why, if I thought I was him, I would say: "No. I'm channeling his energy. I feel more connected to his energy when I dress like him. I'm not trying to be him."
And then I did the same thing with Quaraun for 7 years. And for the past 3 years I've done the same thing with Avallac'h. And yeah, these are fictional characters. Which, I guess, maybe, would cause other people to see me as FictionKin? But they are all Elves, and I am ElfKin and I'm not trying to be or become the Elf in question, rather I feel better able to connect to spiritual Elf energy, when I dress like a fictional Elf from a novel. It's more like I borrowed the Elf's clothes and just wear them.
It's like weighted blankets. They protect you and help you sleep. Same thing. I have PTSD, OCD, Kanner's Syndrome, and Agoraphobia. The longest I have gone without setting foot outside of the house was 15 years.
I was horribly abused by my uncles and several of their male friends from their church as a child and as a result, I developed a crippling fear of Humans in general and Men in particular, and than, as an adult, years later, I was raped and that brought back all the mental trauma memories of what my uncles did, and I don't know what happened, but my mind was just mentally crippled after that, to the point that I locked myself in my room and did not leave it for 15 years.
2006, I went outside for the first time, in 15 years, and I was only able to do so, by wearing a costume of Lord Sesshomaru. When you read the books, he's fearless. He can walk through crowds and he doesn't care who thinks what, and if someone tries to hurt him or his friends, he would never let the attacker hurt them. He's fiercely protective of Rin, the Human girl who travels with him. He has a fearless energy to him. Very powerful fearless energy, and I wanted to feel that.
I wanted to be able to go outside, without being terrified men would hurt me. And I tried for weeks, months, to go outside. I'd get to the door and I'd freeze. A mental block made my body so rigid I couldn't move my feet to get out the door. My agoraphobia was that bad.
So, I started meditating, channel Lord Sesshomaru's energy. And it healed, but it didn't help enough. So I ordered fabric, fur, leather, bolt of silk from Japan, from eBay and Amazon, and I made what went down in history as both the most expensive and most insanely elaborate Lord Sesshomaru CosPlay ever made. And, when I put it on, I was able to walk outside of my house for the first time in 15 years.
It was like, before I channeling his energy, but now, he was there with me. It's the only way I know how to explain it.
I still have severe agoraphobia today. But since 2006, I can go outside, IF, I dress up like an Elf. The stronger the Elf the better. A powerful protecting spirit.
That's why I now CosPlay Avallac'h. There's no one, more protective then he is. It's what he's known for. His fierce protectiveness of Ciri, the Human girl who travels with him is beyond Lord Sesshomaru's protectiveness of Rin. He won't let anyone hurt her. He'll die to to keep her safe. So I retired the Lord Sesshomaru CosPlay and made the Avallac'h CosPlay, my new protecting spirit. An Elf, but also, a Fictional Character.
He's not real. I'm aware he's not real. But that doesn't change the fact that I can draw on his fierce protective energy, to be able to go outside, go shopping, not have to buy everything online or have others buy things for me and deliver it. I can do it myself, dressed like an Elf, but at least I'm outside.
The fact remains, there's never been a real man in my life who DID NOT hurt me. I grew up with drug dealers. Real life gangsters. They killed people. Throughout my childhood and teen years I had witness multiple murders, Brutal. Violent. I was beaten and locked in cages. I watched them kill people, then turn around and threaten to kill me if I ever told anyone.
Today most of them are dead, in prison, or on the run from the FBI. There was never a time in my life when I felt safe, and around men, I felt less safe. There has never been anyone there for me. No mental support. No emotional support. No one to protect me from the men I grew up with, or the gangs they had shot outs with.
I would read books, while hiding under a blanket to try to blockout the screaming and yelling and gun fire. None of the children were allowed to go to school or doctors. We lived on a farm, in the forest, miles from the nearest anything, fenced in and guarded by riflemen. No one had birth certificates or SSNs. No paper trail. No adults outside the clan to turn to for help. I would read books, while hiding under a blanket and praying for someone to please help me. It was none stop terror every day, all day, my entire childhood. Fictional men in books, where my only friends. I was drawn to men who protected children, especially men who protected little girls.
Lord Sesshomaru protected Rin, an 8 year old girl.
Avallac'h protected Ciri, a 12 year old girl.
That's why I was drawn to them. They are strong men who protect little girls from evil men.
This is also why I take such a very strong and heavy offense to anyone trying to sexualize my kinship to either Lord Sesshomaru or Avallac'h.
My attraction to them is not sexual and I do not like people trying to translate it that way.
I see them, more along the lines of ArchAngels. Protectors. Someone you can look to to always be there for you. Someone who will never hurt you. Someone who will keep you safe.
Nothing will make you my enemy faster than you trying to sexualze me, my life, or anything I do. I am asexual, on an extreme anti-sex level. I have an extreme hatred for sex. And if you try to sexualize me or anything I do, you will quickly find yourself branded one of my top most hated people on the planet.
But, yeah, I am myself ElfKin, but you can see why I find no issues with FictionKin. Also, while I tend to lurk in OtherKin communities, I don't see myself as OtherKin, because I see ElfKin and OtherKin as being 2 very different, but also very similar things.
I should also point out that I think of ElfKin and FictionKin as both separate and different from OtherKin, that they are 3 completely different things in my mind, but that none is any less valid then the other and that each of the 3 should be supportive of the other 2.
My thought is, you wouldn't be Kin to anything if you had not suffered through extreme trauma and your Kinship, is your way of coping. For is, after all, nothing more than a mental illness. The concept of Kinship, was created by a group of psychiatrists, to explain people who are not Human, but live in Human society. You can not be Kin to anything and not also be insane. That is a medical fact. And therefore, all Kin are Kin to each other through their insanity, regardless of what type of Kin they are or how they explain their Kinship.
I think of all Kinships this way. Each is distinctly different, but, all are similar enough that each should try to learn from one another and be supportive of each other.
The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?
EXTREME SPOILER WARNING!
Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it.
Quaraun The Insane: Volume 3 (usually - I keep renumbering these) BoomFuzzy
Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)
Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)
Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)
"Look at dat lack of a sunrise!" BoomFuzzy exclaimed as he looked out the window.
"What are you so cheerful about?" BeaLuna asked.
"I spent de night cumming on me favourite Elf."
"I didn't want to know that."
"Ya dragon sack of twinkies dragging me kiwis across yar face!"
"Why do you talk like that?"
"We should be two hours into daylight un it is as black as midnight out dere. I loves me blizzards!"
"You love blizzards? Are you crazy?"
"Aye, I is, I fucking out ta me gourd, but dat beside de point. I ai'na doing dis one. Dat be real snow un ya really trapped wid me now. Dis really be me favourite weader - I do'na live where I live for nay liking snow, ya knows! Haha! I used to live wid Christmas Elves."
BeaLuna turned to Quaraun and said: "He's crazy."
"He's absolutely off his rocker."
"That's why I like him, BeaLuna."
BoomFuzzy ran for the front door, opened it and stood staring up at the sky.
"It be right on top of us," cried BoomFuzzy as he watched the snowflakes blowing outside. "We be stuck in here for de duration, now. Listen to de trees! I wish I could see it. Not crazy enough to step out into de forest un look - de winds."
BoomFuzzy closed the door.
"I should nay has opened door, now I be fucking freezin' cold."
"Yes," agreed BeaLuna. "And of course - living in an gingerbread house, on the bottom of a mountain, in a storm like this - you really got hope these winds don't lift the whole "house" off the ground. In case you hadn't noticed, the walls are shaking like there's a mob out there tearing your candy frosting off. Is it safe to be in this thing during a storm like this?"
"Well, no turning back now," said BoomFuzzy as he turned back to the room. "Ya try to leave to get to some ot'er shelter, ya will freeze to death before ya get a foot away from de front door. Like it or no, we is stuck in here for de duration, now."
"I can't believe I'm trapped in freaking gingerbread house, with two crazy Elves, during the biggest blizzard to hit us in 50 years."
"Well, at least ya will nay starve to death. Plenty of house to eet."
"You're crazy, BoomFuzzy. Who lives in an edible house?"
"I does. Un I fucking loves it."
"And what kind of a name is BoomFuzzy? Who names their kid BoomFuzzy?"
"Nobody. Tis nay me real name. I made it up."
"What is your real name?"
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"What kind of a name is that?"
"Tis an aristocratic name o de Phookas. I used to be one o dem fancy pants aristocrats. I used to be a king. King Gwallmaiic. And I got sick o royalty un snootiness un keeping up appearances un doing de right t'ing for de wrong reasons un one day I says hell wid all of it, abandoned de t'rone, left me people widout a ruler, changed me name to BoomFuzzy, became a candy maker, un found me a lonely lil Elf who be desperate to be fucked. I be much happier now."
"Are you pulling my leg?"
"No! God! Tits! Suck a cock dick damn it! Dat be de truth."
"So you're telling me that you are a king?"
"Aye. It were frustrating as tits."
BeaLuna turned to Quaraun: "And you fuck him?"
"I'm a wizard of the Di'Jinn order. Thullids fuck no one."
BoomFuzzy raised a questioning eyebrow to Quaraun's Thullid reference.
BoomFuzzy whispered to the Gnome: "Iffy ya does nay gain dominance over a Thullid while dey is yang, ya'll never get an upper hand once dey are fully matured. Dere be not'ing more dangerous den a fucking Thullid Di'Jinn."
"Quaraun's not a Thullid."
"I beg to differ."
BeaLuna stomped over to Quaraun. "Do you know he thinks you're a Thullid waiting to hatch?"
"Yes. I know. He keeps telling me."
"I am a wizard of the Di'Jinn order."
"Which be no a very reassuring answer," BoomFuzzy pointed out. "Considering dere is nay such t'ing as a non-Thullid Di'Jinn."
"BoomFuzzy!" BeaLuna shrieked. "Look at him! He's a Moon Elf. He's a strange, insane, sexless Moon Elf who who thinks he's a Di'Jinn because he grew up with Thullids, but he's still a Moon Elf. Look no tentacles anywhere."
"Him be dressed like a Thullid."
"Yes. I've noticed. The whole village has noticed. Quaraun floats around the village acting and dressing like a Thullid, because he's insane and doesn't know any better."
"Have ya ever known a Thullid who was nay insane?"
"I've never known a Thullid."
"Nope. Never even seen one. Only seen drawings of them and heard stories. And what the hell is a Christmas Elf?"
"You said you lived with Christmas Elves."
"Oh dat. Aye. I dids. Years ago."
"What are Christmas Elves and why did you live with them?"
"Ah, well. I is by race a Phooka, which be type o shape shifting evil trickster Faerie, dat normally spends me time pretending to be an injured shaggy pony to lure humans to get close to it so it can eet dem, however I developed a taste for Elf flesh un is known by ot'er Phookas as 'The Elf Eater because I eet Elves instead o Humans. I ends up becoming somet'ing o cult leader, gat'ering up a following o ot'er Phookas who likewise give up eetsing Humans to eet Elves..."
"You eat Elves?"
"Aye. I be also known as The Elf Eater o Pepper Valley, un I soon discovers dat different types o Elves taste different depending on deir diet. De forest dwelling Wood Elves, who be hunters un gathers, has a wild game flavour, while de city dwelling aristocratic High Elves has delicate buttery flavours, caused by deir rich diets of de baked goods un sweets..."
"Elves have flavours?"
"Aye, like candy. Very tasty. Well, I discovers dat de farder North we travel..."
"De Elf Eater Gang. Me un me followers, anyways de farder North we travel de richer de diets o de High Elves get, until one day we reach de North Pole region where we find Christmas Elves who feast on gingerbread, eggnog, sugar cookies, fruit cake, un candy canes."
"Funny, you mention fruitcake."
"Prior to meeting Quaraun, I live for several centuries in Santa's Village up at North Pole..."
"You lived with Santa Claus?"
"Now I know your crazy."
"What for ya says dat?"
"Because Santa Claus isn't real."
"Him right jolly old Leprechaun."
"He's a Human myth. A bed time story."
"No. Him a great big fucking old fat Leprechaun King, strutting around in long red robes. Him live in big palace made o frozen eggnog. Has himself huge factory. Him keeps tens o t'ousand of Elf slaves up dere doing all him factory work. Right old tyrant dat one. Not at all like Humans says him is. Him got all dem Elves chains to de tables un chairs, doing all dat work, day after day, year after year. Hard slave driver, Santa Claus be. Un him do love cookies. Hmm."
"Okay, even if Santa was real, which he isn't, he's not some kind of tyrant slave master. He makes toys for children."
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"In de early days him dids. Before him started expanded his territory. In de early days, him was just wee lil Leprechaun making shoes for de child'en in his village. Dan he meet Krumpas. Krumpas was a fucking Phooka, like me. Krumpas wanted to eet de child'en, un de Leprechaun he was having hard time keeping up wid all de child'en. Took him whole year to make enough shoes. Him used to give out free shoes every month, but den he says, we do it once a year. But even den, too mony child'en in village. So Krumpas says, let us make list o de good un bad child'en - ya gives shoes to good child'en, un I do eet bad child'en, dat way we both get what we want un solve problem o too mony child'en."
"That's not the story of Krumpas."
"Have you ever meet Krumpas?"
"Aye. Him be Phooka like me. So Santa un Krumpas dey go into business toget'er un it good business until de Humans wise up un child'en no more be bad, so Santa have to expand territory. He get himself team o caribou so him can travel farder un start visiting ot'er villages. Soon, child'en all over country be leaving old shoes out of doorstep every Christmas, in hopes dat Santa will bring dem new shoes. It get harder un harder for Krumpas to find naughty child'en to eet, so Santa put spell on sleigh un start using time travel portals to fly all over planet looking for naughty child'en for Krumpas to eet, un while doing so, he find all kinds o child'en who can nay afford shoes, so him try to make shoes for all o dem, because him can no stand see person who nay have good shoes."
"Santa gives children toys, not shoes."
"Aye, now him do, but in auld daes him give kiddies shoes. But dat be problem, because parents start to t'inks, dey can find Santa un steal shoes from him house whenever dey need shoes for deir child'en. Some people are just begging to be killed, ya knows? So Santa un Krumpas dey move to place no one can find dem, un now, because it take so long to make fancy shoes, instead him make soft red boots wid no soles, for de child'en to wear in bed at night to keep deir feets warm. And him put candy un coal un toys in boots un hang dem on chimneys..."
"Santa only gives coal to bad children."
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Ya gots it all wrong. Santa put coal in velvet boots, so child'en can have warm fire to sit near to on Christmas morning. He give dem warm velvet boots to warm deir feets, un lump o coal to light deir fire, un cookies to fill deir belly, un a fucking toy to play wid so dey forget how cold un hungry dey are once food be gone un fire go out."
"I've never heard it like that before."
"Well, Santa him want to take care of all child'en every where, all over planet, but dere just be too mony un him could nay find enough people what wanted to help him, so him, build big factory un him, send Krumpas out to find slaves. Krumpas knows of me, fellow Phooka, how good I is at capturing Elves. He have me help him round up Elves for Santa's factory. De Elves do no knows dey is slave."
"Really? How is that possible?"
"I be very good chef. I be best chef on planet. Santa, him dids like me. Him made me head chef un I spent me time perfecting making gingerbread, sugar cookies, eggnog, candy canes, taffy, un chocolate, all o which I used to fatten up Santa's Helper Elves which I later eet. Santa do nay care if he lose an Elf here or dere, so long as Krumpas keep bringing in more. Well one day, Krumpas find himself a whole fucking forest o Cookie Elves..."
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"Aye. Tiny wee lil Elves, smaller den Quaraun here. Dey live in de hollow trees in de forests around Gichi-gami. Narcissistic lil t'ings. Dey make cookies shaped like demselves. Dey call demselves Keeblers. Gichi-gami Elves is among de tastiest."
"Dat big lake, few miles inland un south o us here. Krumpas found dis whole forest o giant deadwood trees, un all de trees was hollowed out un full o lil Elves who do not'ing but bake cookies all day. Krumpas herded dem all up, shipped dem up to de North Pole un now Santa got himself an entire factory full o tiny Elves making cookies un toys all dae long. Dey is addicted to eetsing cookies as much as dey likes cooking dem. Me? I loves to cook. And I loves to eet Elves. So I lived up dere wid de Santa Claus for a few centuries, baking cookies un eetsing Elves."
"You're crazy. Quaraun, he's crazy."
"Yeah, well, you think I'm crazy too."
"You're right. You're both crazy."
"Later, when I returns to de Deep North un finds de Moon Elf Village here a few miles south o Santa's Village, I sets up shop un once again goes to work fattening up Elves on sweets un eetsing dem. De secret to me success in getting Elves desperately addicted to eetsing me gingerbread un chocolate, be de greenhouse full o poppies at de back o me shop un de cave full o mushroom in me basement under me shop. Un all dose frogs in all dem tanks. Poison arrows. Me grandson sent dem to me."
"Grandson? You have children?"
"I has mony child'en. All over place. All o me candy, cakes, cookies, un drinks are brimming full o opium un fly agrillia un frog slime un causing de Elves to get uncontrollably addicted to eetsing only foods I makes."
"I've been eating your food for weeks."
"I knows it. I starts out intending to eet Quaraun, but finds de Elf too smart to eet me food, him knowsing it is drugged. In me decades o trying to get Quaraun to eet me food, I ends up falling in love wid Quaraun, un by de time Quaraun here finally does eet me cooking, I be no able to bring meself to kill Quaraun. Yis es correct. I may be crazier den even him is. We live toget'er as lovers for 30 years. During dat time, Quaraun eets not'ing but me drugged food un is no longer able to eet anyt'ing else, due to his addition to de opium in me food. It real reason him come prancing over here every dae."
BoomFuzzy stared at Quaraun with a wild look in his eyes and then said: "It being almost Christmas, I should ties ya up wid tinsel un stick a candy cane up ya ass."
Quaraun looked up from his book from the first time and stared wide eyed at the sex crazed candy maker.
"Nope. He's crazier then you are," BeaLuna said to Quaraun.
"Yes, I had noticed." Quaraun went back to reading his book.
"Why do I get the impression you'd let him do that to you?"
"What's saying he hasn't done that to me already?"
"Would you want to know if he had?"
"I... no. I don't think so."
"Ah, dids ya knows him also does likes being rolleds in chocolate?"
"Rolled in chocolate? He rolls you in chocolate."
"He's a candy maker."
"Quaraun, what is wrong with you?"
"I like him licking chocolate off of me."
"Yeah. I'm starting to realize what it is you two do when you're alone."
"Him uncut Elf. I should stuff a candy cane up him dick. Peppermint oil burns like hell. Sensative nerves on his foreskin, would have him screaming. Oooh! Makes me all tingly in me kiwis! I love screaming Elves."
"Quaraun, are hearing what he's talking about doing to you?"
"Why don't you stop him."
"No reason to."
"You're gonna let him do that to you, aren't you?"
"Why not! ... What do you mean, why not? You... you... he... YOU'RE BOTH CRAZY!"
"Well, take me eyes oot wid a melon baller und burn dem in hell for all eternity! Tell me somet'ing we does na knows."
"You are a sick, disgusting pervert. You have a filthy mouth and a dirty mind. I don't know how Quaraun can tolerate you."
"Habooski! We has a winner! Or was dat a whiener?"
"Don't make fun of me"
"Ha, ha, ha." BoomFuzzy laughed. "Insert coin for pissy tittieeeeeeees! Hell ya!"
"You're crazy, BoomFuzzy. You're crazier then he is. Do you know how hard of a thing that is to do?"
"Well, fuck titties dickeronnie! I be crazier den Quaraun de Insane? Oh my! Fright un shivers. I is sooooooo ofended."
"You are a horrible person and I don't like Quaraun spending time with you. You're a bad influance on him. You're just plain a bad person."
"Eat shitballs ya stupid cunt."
BoomFuzzy flipped both middle fingers in her face as he said this.
"I do not like you."
"Oh bananas! Poor wee lil Gnome. Is ya jealous?"
"Why would I be jealous of you? You are a psychotic. You are most certainly not something to be jealous of."
"Ahhh, but Quaraun spends too much time wid me, gets far too excited over me, un ya does seem to be hung up on him. I t'inks ya wants to be fucked by our pretty Elf here."
"I do not."
"Yes, you do," Quaraun said. "You said so. More then once. You keep talking about wanting to have my Gnomish half-Elf babies."
"I does nay rule out t'reesomes," BoomFuzzy said cheerfully.
"Why does that make you so happy?" BeaLuna snarled at the candy maker.
"I'll gladly fuck him, while him fucks you."
Hamsa Eye of The Grigoi Eye of the Watchers Eye of God Hand of God Eye of Protection Evil Eye Gypsy Curse
"You... you..." BeaLuna sputtered. "I don't like being trapped in this gingerbread house with the two of you."
"Well, ya should have t'ought o dat aforeing ya came in here to get out o de blizzard, now, eh? Ya stuck wid us now. Now what was I talking about?"
"Eating Santa's Elves," Quaraun answered. "Eating Keebler Elves, feeding Human children to Krumpas, rolling me in chocolate, and stuffing my uncircumsised dick with candy canes."
"Ah Yes! Un dat excites ya. We shall try dat. So Krumpas brings back all dese Cookie Elves un, Santa his get addicted to dey cookies. So now Santa all he wants is cookies. He become like cookie monster. All t'inks aboot is de cookies. And so now he decides he will nay leave any t'ing for de child'en unlessing dey leave him out cookies. It de anise in de cookies dat does it, eh? Very addicting. So, very addicting."
"Isn't anise what you wash your hair with?"
"It is. It act as aphrodisiac. It why ya can no get away from me no more. Anyways, Santa him decide him need more cookies, un him get mad if him get to house un dey does no leave cookies. So instead o Krumpas eetsing de child'en, he tell Krumpas, eets de parents too, on acount o dem ones who dids no leave cookies. But den yeah kills too mony people ya start to get sloppy. Krumpas, he started getting sloppy. Leaving too much blood every where. Krumpas, him tell Santa, Ya large carcase is getting in de way of me murder here. Santa, him use him coat to wipe up de blood, un discover, hey, blood make good dye for coat."
"He's a FarDarrig?" Quaraun asked.
"Aye. Him is now. But him started out a Leprchaun. Dat be what I were saysing. Him got a taste for wearing blood. And Satna was all like, 'Yay! I murdered him! Woo hoo!' Now him only wears red. Him wear big coat too big for him, so he can soak up more blood wid it. Un no one notice. Parents, dey greedy bastards, so long as yeah leaves lots o toys to keep child'en quiet un lots o coal to keep dey house warm, un lots o shoes un whoolen red sock to keep deir feeties warm, dey do nay care if ya eetss a fucking child or two here un dere on de side. Humans be strange like dat. Does nay care for deir own, very selfish, self centred beasts. Him try to do dat wid Dwarves now, un him have kit un kaboodle o dem on warpath. Dey strong family bonds, Dwarves does. Taste terrible t'ough. Ick. Horrible. Stringy, grainy, un full o hair. Dey does nay make good cookies. No one wants hair in deir cookies."
"When you say Dwarves don't make good cookies... you mean you kill the Dwarves and use them as ingredients, don't you?"
"Aye. What else would I mean?"
"I don't know."
"Anyways. Santa, him does get old, un him t'inks to himself, I does nay want to die. I will live forever. Him knows I be Necromancer..."
"You're a Necromancer?" BeaLuna asked.
"I told you he was," Quaraun said.
"Yeah, but you're crazy. You see Faeries and Unicorns around every corner too."
Lich Art Images Provided By Amazon
"Right now I see a Gnome and a Phooka, that means I'm looking at two Faeries.
"I'm not a Faerie, he's not a Phooka. I'm a Gnome. He's a psychotic chef."
"I be Phooka," BoomFuzzy stated, but BeaLuna wasn't listening. She was too busy glaring at Quaraun.
"Anyways," BoomFuzzy continued. "Santa be getting old un him nay wants to die un he knows I Necromancer, so him come up wid idea him going to become Lich un live forever. Him were one o first Liches I ever made, before I made de Lich Lords, wid help of our crazy lil Elf here."
BoomFuzzy pointed to Quaraun.
"Now Santa be undead Leprechaun Lich, who spend his time zipping t'rough portals on flying caribou sleigh, giving toys to any one who gives him cookies, un letting Krumpas eets any one who does'na. Dat de real story of Santa Claus. De one which de Humans do nay knows of."
Lich Art Images Provided By Amazon
With the real blizzard snowing them in, BeaLuna and Quaraun now
really were trapped with BoomFuzzy and spent the winter snowed in the
gingerbread house. It wasn't until mid-Spring before the snow melted
enough for BeaLuna to leave and head back to check on things in the
Gnome village. She couldn't get out of that gingerbread house fast
While in the fist couple of weeks, Quaraun had been too shy to allow
BoomFuzzy to do anything to him with BeaLuna in the building, his
inhibitions had quickly given way to his lusts and soon BoomFuzzy and
Quaraun were all over each other, regardless of if the Gnome was in
the room with them or not.
That Quaraun was so ready to submit to anything Boomfuzzy did to him
surprised her, but it did not shock nearly as much as the things the
sadistic candy maker could think of to do to the Elf.
It would not have bothered BeaLuna so much, had it just been
BoomFuzzy doing things to Quaraun. She could have told herself the
candy maker was forcing the Elf agaist his will. What bothered her,
was that Quaraun was not just recieving pleasure, but givng it as
well. As BoomFuzzy had rightly said, Elves did become very addicted
to his opium infused chocolate, and Quaraun more so then others, and
once BoomFuzzy realized he could get the Elf to lick chocolate off
his dick, it became a daily activity for the couple. Both men had
become addicted to sucking the other's cock.
The thing which bothered her the most, though, was how incredibly
violent BoomFuzzy could get during sex. Quaraun, being a Thullid who
had never felt physical sensation, living in the body of a species
known for repression their response to physical sensation, was able
to take quite a bit of pain, before he made any outward indication
that he was actually hurting. The result was could tie up the Elf's
penis and scrotum in ways that would have sent most men screaming for
Dildos, But Plugs, and Magic Wands From Amazon
BeaLuna's initial horror at the thought of BoomFuzzy shoving a candy
cane up Quaraun's ass, was quickly replaced by the realization that
this was nothing compared to the other places BoomFuzzy could find to
force the tingling menthol infused candy sticks into. She discovered
this when one day she walked in on the amorous couple, to find
Quaraun tied done to the bed with silver garlands of tinsel. She had
gone in talking, but whatever she had to say was quickly forgotten
when when she saw what BoomFuzzy was doing to Quaraun.
The room was filled with the scent of their cum, mixed with the scent
of cloves and peppermint. The Elf was beyond recognition of anything
going on in the room around hm, totally lost in the escasty of the
lusts he was feeling, and the intense sensations caused by the
burning feeling of the peppermint oil melting off the peppermint
stick that was pushed several inches up into his dick. The Elf's body
was rigid and a pain filled whimpering moan escaped his lips. He
looked as though he were about to pass out from the pleasure he was
“I does no t’inks him gonna hears ya, Gnome,” BoomFuzzy said to
“I can see that. What did you do to him?”
“Nothing him did no wants.”
“You're hurting him.”
“Aye. And him loving it.”
“How did you get that... it's too big to... why?”
Quaraun arched his hips up and moaned loader, twisting his feet and
clenching his toes, as BoomFuuzy pushed the candy cane even father
into his pee hole, while at the same time squeezing his testicles
much harder then was comfortable for Quaraun.
“Because him likes it.”
Cum began to ooze out of Quaraun's swollen red slit, around the green
and white striped candy stick and dripped down his cock. BoomFuzzy
immediately licked it up, Without paying any farther attention to the
Gnome, BoomFuzzy began puting ice cream on the Elf's chest, then
drizzling hot melted chocolate sauce all over him, and was soon on
top of Quaraun, licking the melting ice cream off the Elf's nipples.
BeaLuna didn't want to see what would happen next and ran from the
After that she made a point of avoiding the couple any time she
thought they might be acting out one of the candy and sex fetishes,
and when Spring came, melting the snow enough for travel, BeaLuna
fled from the candy shop wondering how she would ever get the images
she had seen there, out of her head.
Three Hundred years before Quaraun meet Unicorn in The Night of The Screaming Unicorn, he meet another Phooka, the same Phooka in another form, when an Elf eating candy-maker arrives in the Moon Elf Village and puts every one under a spell so that no one notices as villagers are one by one disappearing.
Young wizard Quaraun sees through the illusion, but instead of stopping it, helps the monster pick who to kill, and builds 13 phylacteries for the most infamous Lich making spell any wizard ever cast: the one that created the Thirteen Lich Lords, in the process falling in love with the leader of the Lich Lords, The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley himself.
Life is going good for the young wizard, until his best friend BeaLuna the Gnome alerts his father that there's more going on in the gingerbread house the making candy, and a mob of Moon Elves sets out to kill Quaraun in a public execution.
Enranged by the near murder of his lover, the illusions melt away revealing the Lich Lord and his innocent looking gingerbread house for the monsters they really are.
With the Twighlight Manor now threatening to eat every Elf in the village, the Moon Elves plot to destroy the suicidal Elf Eater and his sentient house, not realizing that worse things walked among then then Phooka's and Liches: a Thullid has taken up residence in the Pink Necromancer's head, remaining peacefully dormant until BoomFuzzy's death unleash's it's fury on them all.
Another of the stories banned by fanfiction.net in 2012, this one contains three controversial scenes:
The torture scene when Quaraun receives his sex altering injury.
The graphically detailed suicide of BoomFuzzy
The bloody murder of Quaraun's four children.
By far the bloodiest story of the series, this novel contains disturbing details of death, abuse, torture, suicide, and murder and is considered to be Gorn.
As you follow the series along, you find that Unicorn's obsession with Quaraun reaches a point where Quaraun gives up and simply allows himself to be sexually abused, daily, for years on end, by the Unicorn, because he's realized he can't get away from the extremely obsessive creature that follows him every where he goes.
One of the most disturbing scenes of the entire series is in volume 3, BoomFuzzy, when it is revealed, just how long the Unicorn's obsession has been going on. While most of the series takes place when Quaraun is an adult and is actually quite old, the novel, BoomFuzzy, is a flashback, that takes place when Quaraun was a child.
As a young boy, about 9 years old, Quaraun finds an injured pony, badly abused, shackled in chains, and locked in a cage. Not realizing the little innocent looking Shetland Pony, is actually a Phooka (a type of evil Faerie Horse), he sets it free. Phookas a viscous black unicorns, fire breathing monsters who skewer people on their horns, and take delight in crushing people to death under their hooves. There is no such thing as a good Phooka, and they are killed on sight whenever they are found. That the boy let him go free, puzzled the demonic beast.
The boy went back to his life. The Phooka followed him. From that point on, Quaraun could not escape the black Unicorn that followed his every move.
When Quaraun was age of 15, the Black Unicorn took on a humanoid form, that of a candy maker named BoomFuzzy, and set up shop in Quaraun's village. Luring children to his gingerbread house, the beast set out to killing and eating every one who got near his candy shop... except for Quaraun.
Quaraun was small, sick, and liked wearing dresses, resulting in his being bullied by the other boys in the village. When one day the bullying got out of hand and Quaraun was nearly killed, the Unicorn swept in and slaughtered the bullies, saving Quaraun's life, then taking the injurged boy back to the gingerbread house.
From there the BoomFuzzy story took a darker turn, as the young boy now finds himself, both well care for by a loving protector, and sexually abused by an obsessed stalker. The duel nature of BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, both comforts and terrifies Quaraun, as he finds himself safe and protected, while simultaneously abused and kept under strict control.
The rest of the BoomFuzzy novel becomes a self battle, with Quaraun, both loving and hating the Unicorn that both protects and hurts him.
At it's core, BoomFuzzy is a novel that takes a dark look into the effects of child abuse, sex slavery, and the confusion caused by being a child who is both loved and victimized by a psychopathic adult.
Quaraun remains with BoomFuzzy for 30 years, with their relationship rocky, as Quaraun finds himself wanting freedom to choose to love someone of his own choosing, and at the same time his not wanting to hurt the beast that truly does love him, but is incapable of showing that love in none abusive ways.
After 30 years, Quaraun leaves. He finally escapes the monster that held him captive and sexually abused him for 30 years. A few weeks later Quaraun marries his first wife. And the next day, BoomFuzzy kills himself.
Quaraun finds the body of the dead Unicorn 3 days later and is devastated, realizing that had he not married, BoomFuzzy would not have commit suicide.
The theme of Stockholm Syndrome pushes front and center into the series from that point on, with Quaraun torn between the guilt of having caused BoomFuzzy's death, and the wife he can not look at because without her, BoomFuzzy would still be alive.
The wife, seeing that her husband cares more for his childhood captive than he had let on, takes to bullying Quaraun, belittling BoomFuzzy's memory at every turn. Quaraun grows to hate his wife. The more his wife, puts down BoomFuzzy's memory, the more defensive Quaraun becomes in protecting BoomFuzzy's honor and denying that BoomFuzzy had spent years sexually abusing him.
As the years go on, Quaraun starts to forget he was BoomFuzzy's victim, he forgets that BoomFuzzy was a child rapist, he forgets that he had spent those years wanting freedom from his captive. His memories become warped and he starts to think of BoomFuzzy as a past lover. On the anniversary of BoomFuzzy's death, Quaraun's wife writes a nursery-rhyme song, belittling BoomFuzzy, and teaches it too their 4 children. Unable to take the constant belittling from his wife anymore, in a fit of rage, Quaraun lashes out at her and murders both his wife and their 4 children.
Horrified by what he's done, Quaraun flees into the mountains, not to be seen again for decades. When he does return to civilization, he's completly lost touch with reality, thus people begin to call him "Quaraun the Insane". When questioned as to why he killed his family, the only answer he gives anyone is: "I loved my children, but I loved BoomFuzzy more."
When the law tries to arrest him, he tries to escape and accidentally kills them too. Terrified, he flees again, now wanted for for multiple murders. Scared of his own temper, now afraid to be near anyone for fear he'll kill them, Quaraun becomes a wandering hermit, living on the run, never staying in any one place more then a day or two.
Several times his timing is bad and he arrives in towns, just as someone has been killed. Knowing he killed his family and the men who tried to arrest him, villagers are quick to blame him for any and every death, and soon reports calling him a serial killer are being spread across the entire country.
Responding To a Reader Response To "The Hanging Tree" scene from BoomFuzzy...
If you are unfamiliar with "The Hanging Tree" it is the original short story from which the entire BoomFuzzy novel was based upon.
It is also one of the single most graphic, grizzly, bloody, gory scenes of the entire Quaraun series.
And it is the scene that got the series banned off FanFiction.net.
In the short story called "The Hanging Tree" what happens is this:
Quaraun comes from a culture that outlaws same sex couples and is hiding that fact that he has a male lover. When he is accused of bedding with other males, he does not deny it and openly admits to having sex with other men, not realizing that this will incit his accusers into an angry mob, that next strips him naked, drags him to the center of town and publically tortures him, with most of the village coming forward to join in. They next hang him upside down in a tree in the town square, and continue to torture him.
The infamous highly detail, incredibly grizzly scene that got the series banned off FanFiction.net followed, as one Elf, pulled out a knife and forces it up into Quaraun's penis, then rippe the knife in a backward motion, slicing Quaraun's penis completely in half, leaving behind a scar known as "a sub penal incision". Following this Elf's example, other villagers slash Quaraun's belly, thighs, and groin with knives, leaving him horribly scarred for life. When they finished torturing him, Quaraun is left for dead, his bloody remains used as bait to capture The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley.
Unknown to the Elves however is the fact that it was the Elf Eater himself who is Quaraun's lover, and upon discovering what the Elves did to Quaraun, the Elf Eater slaughtered the Moon Elves, then takes Quaraun and spends the next several months nursing the dying Elf back to health. Quaraun eventually recovered, but he is left with a crippled leg, severe PTSD, rampant phobias that cripple his ability to function in society, and the horrific scars that he often bemoans.
This entire story is just under 3,000 words long. And it shows a horrify look at bigotry, bullying, and herd mentality of a mob joining a bully and nearly killing a gay man.
This is one of the very early stories in the series, which happens when Quaraun is very young, still a teenager. This story is the foundation base point that the other stories reference back to and you see flashbacks of it, glimpse to it, and the horrific night terrors caused by it, in nearly every volume of the Quaraun series.
In dozens of stories written after this, readers see Quaraun's life as it goes into a downward spiral of depression and mental illness, as he turns first to drugs, then to drinking, then to cutting, and eventually to multiple suicide attempts.
Today, here is what one person had to say about this scene, and what follows is my response... Enjoy!
Personally, as a bisexual person, I'm tired of seeing queer people only portrayed as villains, the token friend or victims of hate crimes.
~January 30, 2018
please come to Maine and tell the 140+ LGBTQA+ citizens of Old Orchard Beach this. I'm sure they would love to hear that you think "the queers" are NOT victims of hate crimes.
40+ of them (myself included) have had their houses blown up by bombs
80+ of them have had their houses run over by backhoes (I've had to build 5 houses on my land in the past 12 years)
500+ pets, cats, dogs, and horses have been beheaded, their nailed to the doors of their LGBTQA+ owners (this has happened to me personally 13 times)
my cousin, he'd love to hear your sentiments... unfortunately, he was one of the 4 gay men whom were beheaded by the Ku Klux Klan in 2013
I used to be able to walk, but, you know as I was putting groceries in my car in WalMart parking lot when 2 gay haters decided to beat me up with a shopping cart (July 2016) I was paralyzed, they ruptured 3 discs in my spine; I'm crippled the rest of my life
you could come visit me and I can introduce you to the 8 foot tall KKK cross in my yard
2010 Portland Shaws (supermarket): an 80 year old black gay man was beaten to death while putting groceries in his car, while more the 40 shoppers cheered the attacker... his head was hit so many times by the shopping cart that by the time the police arrived, there was nothing left of his head, skull, or brain but a pool of jellied goo on the ground
April 2015, someone decided to fill my motorhome, you know the one that says "Transgender Awareness Tour Bus" on the side of it... they filled it with several thousand gallons of raw sewage/feces
August 2015 - public beheading of a transgender woman took place in the ice cream department of a local grocery store: Saco Shaws
Rotary Park, Biddeford, right next door, until 2 summers ago had the Guiness World Record for a very tall flag pole; they took the flag pole down because, they got tired of every weekend cutting down the gay men who were stripped naked and hanging by their balls from the top of the flag pole
THIS by the way, is the very real life event that inspired The Hanging Tree scene.
The first time this event happened... the gay man, was a 15 year old boy who was only SUSPECTED of being gay, because he wore a pink suit to a dance at school. Old Orchard Beach High School. The boy was striped naked, his ankels tied to the back bumper of a Old Orchard Beach Police Car, and then dragged the entire 14 mile drive, to the flagpole at Rotary Park in Biddeford, Maine. Because it happened at night, at a dance, no one noticed him missing at first... Because it was February, the month of the year, when our temperature plummet to -40F. He nearly froze to death. And with the park closed for winter, there was no one around to find him. He hung there, upside down, tied to a flag pole, hanging from the rope by his balls, for FIVE days.
That's the type of "jokes" the Old Orchard Beach police - grown men in the 40s and 50s, play on 5 year old CHILDREN, if the suspect the child might possibly be gay.
At night the Ku Klux Klan stands in the driveway of LGBTQA+ residents and shoots rifles fire at them.
January 4, 2016: 140+ LGBTQA+ families were marched out of their homes AT GUN POINT by police, when The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall issued a court order declaring it illegal to own property/houses if you were LGBTQA+
January 4, 2016: 140+ LGBTQA+ families were marched out of their homes AT GUNPOINT by police, when The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall issued a court order declaring it illegal to own property/houses if you were LGBTQA+
It took us 9 months and taking the case to Superior Court, but on October 21, 2016 Superior Court overruled the town's original court order as grounds of being "a gross violation of civil rights being committed by the United States Government".... for 9 months 140+ LGBTQA+ families were homeless and living in their cars while the Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach court battle went on
November 9, 2017, 3 months ago - while eating at Biddeford, McDonald's, a the manager and 5 employees, spiked my gay brother's food with so much LSD. Molly, and Meth that he went into a coma seconds after taking a bite of his meal, he remained in a coma for 5 days and nearly died; the FBI agent in charge of the attempted murder of my brother knows who did it because the whole thing was recorded on one of the restaurant's security cameras
Personally, as a bisexual person, I'm tired of seeing queer people only portrayed as villains, the token friend or victims of hate crimes.
Glad to see you are comfortable using the hate slur queer on yourself; I suppose you must use it the same way black men use niggar on themselves right? Trying to reclaim that vile, hate filled word? Are you REALLY bi or are you just saying that to sound cool? You clearly have no issues tossing the word queer around which makes me question the validity of your claim to be a part of the LGBTQA+ community.
A REAL gay person knows queer is to gay what niggar is to black; wannabes let their TRUE colours fly when they use hate terms like queer to describe themselves. Nothing brands a straight person trying to fit in faster then how they use the word queer.
You are clueless to what REAL LGBTQA+ people live with everyday of our lives if you think the hate crimes against us are a trope and using the word queer is anything close to acceptable.
I dare you to come to Maine and tell any one you are bisexual... the Ku Klux Klan will be on you in less than 24 hours
Welcome to Maine
Most of the hate crimes against the gay characters of the Quaraun series are based off the real world hate crimes against gay men happening here in Old Orchard Beach on a DAILY basis.
If you are so fed up with LGBTQA+ people being victims of hate crimes, then why don't you prove it by getting off you ass, coming up here to Maine and doing something to stop the hate crimes going on right now?
Interview With EelKat On Writing The Quaraun Series
Old Orchard Beach's Nudey Shirts, Drug Dealers, Gangs, and Ivory Billed Woodpeckers - Interview With EelKat About The Real Life Town That Inspired The Monster Porn Yaoi Novel "BoomFuzzy" April 2 2016 Part 1 of 6
This novel was originally written on: 2007 & 2009 & 2012
I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.
The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.
Phrases he yells from the truck include:
"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"
"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"
if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"
He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"
My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autism - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalized several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.
After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here: https://youtu.be/NUebzJ9sz9U and here: https://youtu.be/C4dZbgG-Smw
This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.
As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.
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