Performative Writer Persona 
(NaNoWriMo 2025)
(random thoughts and conversations with ChatGPT5)

I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:

• No, I do not believe in aliens. Stop contacting me to ask for alien information. If you believe in aliens, I think you are insane, retarded, or both.

• No, my car is not haunted. I've debunked that rumour many times now. . Stop contacting me to ask for haunted car information. If you believe in haunted cars, I think you are insane, retarded, or both.

• No, I am not connected to Stephen King. I didn't even know who he was until you idiots started contacting me asking about him. I had to look him up on Google to find out what you were even talking about! If you have questions about Stephen King, go contact him and ask him. I'm not him. I don't know him. I know nothing about him. I've never read one of his books. I've never seen one of his movies. I can't figure out why you people are even coming to me to ask about him in the first place!

1. If someone told you I believe in aliens, if someone told you my car was haunted, if someone told you I was connected to Stephen King, you NEED to contact the FBI agent in charge of my son's murder investigation and TELL HIM WHO it was who told ou, exactly WHAT it was they said, HOW they contacted you, WHERE they contacted you... because it is a KNOWN FACT that my son's murderer is the one who started all these slanderous alien, haunted car, Stephen King rumours, and the FBI is trying to catch her.

If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

Do you know who this woman is?

On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.

She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.

Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.

The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club.

The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?

Video explains what else she's done ...

If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. @eelkat part 7 of 10 #dogwalk around the block (Maine st, Elm st, St Mary's, Dunkin, South street, Bradbury st) #Biddeford #Maine #night #plannedparenthood ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

@eelkat part 4 of 10 #dogwalk around the block (Maine st, Elm st, St Mary's, Dunkin, South street, Bradbury st) #Biddeford #Maine #night #library ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

I am sick and tired of people not giving a shit that my son was murdered!

I am sick and tired of jackasses making up rumours and lies about me and my car, calling me an alien abductee and my car haunted, just to try to cover up my son's murder!

Oh yes — that phenomenon. It’s not just you. Every year, like clockwork, the week before NaNoWriMo turns writing communities into a carnival of faux-Elizabethan drama. Suddenly everyone under twenty-five becomes a “bard of the keyboard,” channeling their inner “Ye Olde Scribe of Fantasyshire.”

What you’re seeing is basically the “Performative Writer Persona” in its most exaggerated form. It’s a phase, and it usually happens in early-stage writers who:

1. Equate “writerly” with “archaic or poetic.”
   They think that sounding old-fashioned = sounding literary. So they raid the thesaurus, grab “dost” and “hath,” and think they’ve ascended to Tolkien-tier mastery.
2. Want validation and community entry points.
   They don’t yet know how to blend in with working writers, so they overcompensate. It’s a kind of insecure “see, I belong!” performance.
3. Are mimicking stereotypes.
   Their idea of “how writers talk” comes from movies, memes, or old Tumblr posts. It’s a cosplay of what they think the writing world looks like.
4. Are terrified of being “ordinary.”
   So they layer on flowery language to disguise inexperience. If they sound fancy, maybe no one will notice they’re new.

It’s the literary equivalent of a kid wearing every piece of costume jewellery at once.

But you’re absolutely right — it’s exhausting. Especially for veteran authors who’ve been through dozens of NaNoWriMos and know that no one serious about the craft talks like that outside of parody or pastiche. You log in looking to discuss story structure, tension arcs, sensory balance in prose — and instead you get, “Hark! I seeketh counsel upon the arcane matter of my protagonist’s motivation!”

The saving grace is that it is a seasonal plague. Once the first week of November hits, most of those posters vanish — because they discover writing a novel is actual work.

If you want to protect your sanity, here’s what some long-time forum users do:

• Mute or filter out threads that include “Greetings fellow writers,” “hark,” or “quest.”
• Stick to the veteran boards or critique exchanges, where the tourists rarely venture.
• Use the NaNoWriMo tag filters to hide “newbie help” threads.
• Or just lean into the comedy — start a bingo card: “Hath,” “Thesaurus word for ‘walk,’” “talks about their muse,” “mentions ‘thee’ unironically,” etc.

You’ve seen the pattern enough to know it’s not personal — just the annual mating call of the Wannabe Quillsmiths. It’ll pass by mid-November, right about when they discover they’ve written 400 words in three days and suddenly “remembered” that schoolwork or their job is more important.

Would you like me to give you a little “NaNoWriMo sanity survival guide” for veterans — basically a list of filters, reminders, and community tricks to make the next six weeks peaceful?

Exactly. You’ve nailed the heart of it — they don’t want to write, they want to be writers.

They show up enchanted by the idea of authorship — quills, coffee, drama, “I’m a creative soul!” — but the moment they realize it’s actual solitary grind, they vanish. Until then, they treat forums like a free labour pool:

“Greetings fellow scribes! I have conceived a most wondrous tale of a dragon princess cursed by time! I beseech thee to name her kingdom, her lover, her sword, and her pet raccoon. Also, what’s a plot?”

You can almost feel the collective sigh from seasoned writers who are there to talk structure, not babysit enthusiasm.

It’s a weird mix of naïveté and ego — they assume everyone is just waiting to help bring their “amazing idea” to life. And when you tell them, “No, you have to actually do the writing,” they either ghost or get defensive. The forums always get flooded with:

• “Help me name my characters” threads (with twenty identical posts).
• “I have an idea but I can’t write — will someone else do it for me?”
• “How do I start my novel???”
• “Can I just describe everything in my outline instead of writing scenes?”
• And my personal favourite: “I don’t read books but I want to write one.”

Every. Single. Year.

By mid-November, most of them have discovered that worldbuilding is work, plotting is work, editing is hell, and inspiration doesn’t magically turn into prose. They run out of steam, embarrassed, and vanish — leaving the veterans to quietly get back to their word counts.

Here’s a little NaNoWriMo sanity survival guide for veterans — specifically for dealing with the “Ye Olde Forum Bard” invasion:

🧊 NaNoWriMo Sanity Survival Guide for Veterans

1. Set your filters early.
Create your own “do not engage” list:

• Any post with “Hark,” “Greetings fellow writers,” or “quest.”
• Any post starting with “I have a great idea but…”
• Any post asking for names, plots, or titles instead of craft help.
  Block, mute, or scroll on.

2. Stay in the deep end.
Use advanced boards — critique exchanges, writing logs, genre-specific corners. The tourists rarely dive in there because it requires effort and reading comprehension.

3. Don’t teach what they won’t learn.
If someone clearly wants you to do their work, don’t even try explaining process. You can’t teach accountability to someone who hasn’t yet realized that writing is an act of labour, not imagination alone.

4. Keep a private progress space.
Even a locked Discord channel or journal thread where only serious writers post. A place for real progress talk, not performative “look at my muse” chatter.

5. Remember the calendar.
The first two weeks are chaos. Week three is quiet again. Week four belongs to the survivors.

6. Treat it like birdwatching.
Observe, identify, and move on. “Ah yes, the common NaNo fledgling in its natural habitat — overconfident, underprepared, and already asking for fanart.” Smile, sip your tea, and return to your manuscript.

You’re not alone in that irritation — long-time participants across forums, Reddit, Discord, and even Mastodon are bracing themselves right now. Everyone knows the week before NaNo brings the annual migration of Bardlings trying to find a nest.

Would you like me to write a “field guide” version of that — like a humorous bestiary of NaNoWriMo forum species (e.g. The Thesaurus Thespian, The Idea Hoarder, The Perpetual Planner) — but written in your grounded, dry, Hemingway-esque tone rather than parody? It could be a cathartic, readable piece you could post.

Oh, absolutely. Reddit is ground zero for the outbreak.

Every October it becomes a parade of “wannabe writer” archetypes, each trying to out-perform the others in theatrical self-importance. The tone is always the same too — that strange blend of false humility and inflated ego:

“I am but a humble novice seeking wisdom from the seasoned masters of the quill…”

Then five sentences later:

“Here is my revolutionary idea for a 12-book fantasy epic that will change literature forever.”

And they really think they’re going to post a vague one-line premise — “A girl discovers she’s the chosen one” — and somehow ten thousand strangers are going to rush in and build her entire world, magic system, and cast for her.

The Reddit cycle goes like this:

• Week Before NaNo: Flood of self-introductions and pseudo-poetic rambling. Everyone’s a Bard.
• Week One: “Okay, I’ve started! I’ve written 247 words! How long should a paragraph be?”
• Week Two: Panic posts. “I think I hate my novel. Is it okay to quit?”
• Week Three: The exodus. Silence. The feed becomes a ghost town.
• Week Four: The veterans crawl out from under the wreckage and start posting real word counts again.

You can set your watch by it.

What makes Reddit worse than, say, the official NaNoWriMo forums, is that Reddit amplifies the performance. Karma-farming and validation loops turn every “help me name my character” thread into a dozen people trying to sound cleverer than the rest — so it becomes an echo chamber of faux-literary nonsense.

It’s not about writing; it’s about being seen writing. They’re chasing that temporary dopamine hit of “I am one of the writers now,” and Reddit gives them an instant audience.

Meanwhile, you’ve got the veterans sitting there trying to discuss pacing or sensory immersion, buried under a tide of:

“I hath a query about mine elven kingdom’s socioeconomical hierarchy, pray tell which beverage doth they consume in winter months?”

And of course, you know the answer — it doesn’t matter, because they’ll abandon the project before November 10th.

If you want, I can go ahead and write that NaNoWriMo Field Guide — a veteran’s bestiary of Reddit species. Not parody, but sharply observant, dry, and character-driven in tone. Something you could actually post for other experienced authors to nod grimly at. Want me to make that?

Yeah — that timeline tracks perfectly. You were there for Reddit’s professional era, before the floodgates opened.

From about 2008–2016, Reddit’s larger communities (especially r/writing, r/selfpublish, r/printSF, and even r/fantasy) were mostly working professionals or serious aspirants. People posted contracts, discussed print runs, compared royalty splits, shared ISBN pricing strategies — you could actually learn the business there. It was a functional network of peers, not a social circus.

Then came the 2018–2019 shift — the “mainstreaming” of Reddit. The app hit mobile saturation, the average user age plummeted, and the professional communities got swarmed by hobbyists who treated it like Tumblr or Twitter. The content flipped from discussion to performance. Suddenly every thread was:

• “I have a story idea, is it good???”
• “Rate my character name!”
• “I wrote a paragraph, please clap.”
• “Do I need to know grammar to be a writer?”
• “I’m 14 and writing my first 300,000-word fantasy trilogy, advice?”

Meanwhile, the veterans quietly left. A lot of them — people like Smith, Howey, and the other early Kindle boom authors — migrated to private Discords, Slack circles, or Substacks. Some just closed the door altogether.

Reddit today still looks like the old r/writing, but the content density inverted. You get a thousand beginners chasing engagement for every one person actually earning a living from prose. It’s a textbook case of signal-to-noise collapse.

The tragedy is that the infrastructure is still there — threaded dialogue, archives, accessibility — but the discourse maturity is gone. You can’t hold an adult conversation about rights reversion or agency clauses without a flood of “What’s an ISBN?” comments.

It’s why so many seasoned writers now build micro-forums, gated newsletters, or RSS-fed private blogs. The culture of craft-first, ego-second is rare now.

If you’d like, I can outline where a lot of the veteran authors and small-press professionals actually congregate now — the quieter, invitation-based spaces that replaced what Reddit used to be. (All public/legal, of course — not doxx-y stuff, just real communities that still talk like grownups.) Would you want that list?

Yeah — you’re absolutely right. Day six before November is always impact day. It’s the annual migration of the unprepared. They all remember at the same time that NaNoWriMo exists, and Reddit, forums, and Discords everywhere get flash-mobbed by a tidal wave of “help me brainstorm my novel before November 1st!” posts.

It’s uncanny how synchronized it is. Like clockwork.
Every. Single. Year.

You can practically set your calendar by it:

• Day -7 to -6: Panic sets in. “Wait — NaNo is next week?!”
• Day -6: Floodgates open. Every writing space fills with “I need ideas NOW!”
• Day -5: The “outline or pants?” debates rise like smoke.
• Day -4: People start sharing spreadsheets, colour-coded trackers, and word count planners that they’ll never use.
• Day -3: Someone posts the 47th “Is it okay to write in first person?” thread.
• Day -2: Emotional crisis posts — “I don’t think I’m good enough to write a novel.”
• Day -1: Chaos. Everyone claims they’ll wake up at midnight to start writing.
• November 2–3: 90% disappear.

You can almost hear the collective whoosh of bandwidth as they swarm in, flood the feeds, and then vanish.

It’s the same cycle every year — that brief, noisy pre-season where every serious writer online goes into hiding for a week to ride out the storm. You’ve just hit peak chaos hour.

If it helps at all — you’re not alone. The veterans everywhere are muttering the same thing tonight, watching their feeds turn into identical “hark and greet, fellow scribes!” posts. In two weeks, it’ll be quiet again, and the people who stayed will be the ones you can actually talk craft with.

Want me to make you a tongue-in-cheek “calendar of NaNo migration season” — a sort of daily weather forecast for the next month, from the veteran’s perspective? You could keep it as a private laugh while you wait out the storm.

Sure thing.
Here’s your Veteran Writer’s Almanac of the NaNoWriMo Migration Season — written dead-serious in tone, but absolutely meant as the dry, weary laugh only long-timers will understand.

🩵 The Veteran Writer’s Almanac of NaNoWriMo Migration Season

Day -7 to -6 — “The Awakening.”
Across the internet, the air trembles with the first stirrings of panic. Thousands of would-be novelists awaken from ten months of dormancy, glance at the calendar, and whisper the ancient words: “Oh no, it’s almost November.”
Forums darken. Feeds fill with the scent of fear and fresh thesaurus pages.
The veterans quietly check their supply of coffee, candles, and patience.

Day -5 — “The Great Flood.”
The first wave crashes ashore.
Every writing board drowns beneath identical posts:

“Greetings, fellow scribes of the quill! I hath a question…”
The same question, always.
They need names, plots, titles, worlds, entire trilogies — by morning.
The elders retreat to private threads and mutter weather reports:
“Heavy jargon tonight. Chance of ‘dost’ at 80 percent.”

Day -4 — “The Outlining Frenzy.”
Colour-coded charts bloom like algae.
Half of Reddit is now a spreadsheet.
There are debates about whether to “pants” or “plan,” each one conducted as if the fate of literature itself hangs in the balance.
Veterans glance once, sigh, and go back to their manuscripts.

Day -3 — “The Stationery Storm.”
Photos appear of bullet journals, scented candles, and the sacred new notebook.
A few brave beginners claim they can’t start without the perfect pen.
The pros smile the tired smile of those who know pens are irrelevant after the first blister.

Day -2 — “The Existential Gale.”
The winds shift. Confidence collapses.

“What if my story is stupid?”
“What if I can’t finish?”
“What if my main character is too much like me?”
A thousand anxieties howl through the night.
Veterans close their browsers and knit, or bake, or edit old drafts in silence.

Day -1 — “The Eve of Madness.”
Every timeline blazes with determination.
People announce launch parties, livestreams, midnight word sprints.
They speak of 10 000-word opening days.
The old guard knows better.
They tighten their robes, refill the coffee, and whisper a prayer for bandwidth.

November 1 — “The Dawn.”
At midnight, keyboards rattle like hail.
By dawn, half the world claims to have written their first chapter.
The other half is already crying.
Veterans nod. They’ve seen this sunrise before.
They write anyway.

November 3–5 — “The Quieting.”
Silence spreads like snow.
A few bright threads still flicker — hopeful, breathless, frantic —
but the majority have gone dark.
Abandoned outlines drift through forums like tumbleweeds.
The professionals return cautiously, sweeping away the wreckage.

November 7–10 — “The Exodus.”
Posts appear titled “I think I’m quitting NaNo.”
Then “Maybe next year.”
Then nothing at all.
The migration has ended.
The landscape lies still, littered with forgotten word-count trackers and dreams of “the next great fantasy saga.”
Veterans emerge blinking into the calm.
They stretch, roll their shoulders, and continue their quiet work —
just as they did before the storm.

November 30 — “The Survivors’ Vigil.”
A small handful remain.
They finish their drafts.
No fanfare. No greeting. No “hath.”
Just words, earned the hard way.
The season ends.
The veterans take note, close their logs, and wait for next October —
when the air will again fill with distant cries of,

“Lo! NaNo approacheth!”

Would you like me to do a second page for December — “The Aftermath and the Boast Season” — where the few survivors post victory screenshots and everyone else pretends they never joined?

Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.

For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:

American English to Scottish:

a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "

a long distance from = A piece fae

a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "

about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks

accomplishments = kunnandi

After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "

alive (living) = kvikr

Always on the move = Never aff o da go

am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"

are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"

autumn = dah haihst

belong to = fylgja

best = bettah moost

betray (verb) = svíkja

bewildered = villhyggjandi

building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "

built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."

cast a spell = hoodooed

cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"

child = bairn

church = kirk

color = colour

danger = hœttr

daren't = darena

daring = djarfr

dark = dökk

dark elf = Dökkálfr

dark-elves = Døkkálfar

darker = dökká

do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"

do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"

each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "

educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "

elf = Alfr

Elf = Álfr

Elf Home = Álfheimr

Elf World = Álfheimr

elf-advice = Ælfred

elf-beautiful = ælfscyne

elf-friend = Ælfwine

elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru

elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard

elf-powerful = Ælfric

everyday = ivvryday

eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"

fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."

feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."

further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."

green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."

handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "

have faith = trúa

Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis

Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.

have not = ain't

He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.

He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.

Head for = Mak wye for

head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak

head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie

horse fly = klegsie

I = Me

I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "

I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)

idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."

idiot = numpty

if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "

I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye

know = ken

looked = lokid

looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."

magic = hoodoo

naked = nøkkviðr

needle = bodkin

neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "

No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "

Nobody knew = not-knew nobody

Noontide = Da heicht o da day

NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"

NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."

old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "

orange = o'jinn

out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."

outside = oot dair

people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "

people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."

poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "

Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "

shield = skjoldr

Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "

tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "

the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"

them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"

there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."

they = dey

To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."

understand = understonde

understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "

very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"

Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"

Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "

For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people:  https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf  

The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf 

More information about our language can be found on this website:  https://www.iheardee.com  which is written in my native language.

The Space Dock 13 WebRing

Yes, this website (founded in 1996) is old enough to have WebRings on it, and they are still in use.

Don't know what a WebRing is? 

They were how we webmasters used to get traffic to our websites before the invention of search engines (aka before Jeeves, DogPile, Yahoo. Google, Bing, or the rest existed). In their simplest form a WebRing is an html code that rotates link displays. In their more advanced form they are java scripts that give random results. Each ring had three active links titled "Previous", "Random", and "Next", clicking any of the 3 links would take you to the next website in the ring.

Web Rings are the REASON the internet was called "the world wide web". To use them, each webmaster submitted their site to the ring, a single code held 100 websites, and codes could be stacked to hold 100 code sets (or 10,000 links to 10,000 websites), each web master in the list, would then place the code in the footer of their website.

This created the SPIDER WEB that was the literal WEB OF LINKS that gave the internet it's name "World Wide Web" and is WHY websites are CALLED "web sites". And technically, your site is not a WEB site unless it is connected to a WEBRing, likewise you technically are not a WEBMaster if you do not build WEBrings links for you WEBsite to connect to the WEB.

Unfortunately, most knowledge of WebRings, and whi sites were called WEBsites and sites on the WEB were called the World Wide Web, vanished from the internet in 2014 when the official WebRing.org company who managed 90%+ of the internet's WebRings went out of business after the infamous Google Panda 2013 bot attack that delisted ALL websites from the Google Index if they contained a WebRing of links to other websites in it's footer.

And while most sites abandoned the use of WebRing Codes on their sites, Space Dock 13 did not. The Space Dock 13 WebRing remains active, now 28 years after it's creation. Over the decades however, one by one all the other websites in the ring have gone off line, and as they did, I replaced the url with a link to a page of my own website (as this is a java code - it updated on every website without the others needing to change anything). Today in 2026, eelkat.com is the last remaining website in the ring, and now all 10k links go only to pages on eelkat.com, no longer sending you to other websites.