The Quaraun Series Prologue

Series Title: The Pink Necromancer: The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane aka The Twighlight Manor Series; The Quaraun Series (formerly known as The Twighlight Manor Series) spans more than 150 novels and more than 2,000 short stories published since the series started September 23, 1978. Each story is standalone and can be read in any order.

POINT OF VIEW: third person; usually Quaraun's point of view

CONTINUING SERIAL? Yes and No. Each story is standalone and can be read in any order. There are no part 1 continuing to part 2 type of format. Each story is self contained in one volume.

INTERRACIAL COUPLES? Yes; Quaraun/SunTa` is a Gypsy/Elf, BoomFuzzy/Unicorn is a Black/Asian/Faerie/Phooka, Gremlin/GhoulSpawn/Checka is a cloven hooved sheep Demon - but also none of them is Human, they are also fictional characters - so if you want to have a hissy fit over fictional mythical beast, you go right ahead and do that, prove what a crazed bigoted lunatic you are.

LGBTQAI+ COUPLES? Yes; Quaraun is bi-sexual, demisexual, F2M intersex, and polygamous. He has 2 male lovers and 5 female wives.

GENRE: Dialectic Fantasy > Experimental Abstract Literary Slice of Life > Gay Male Pulp Fiction Dialogue Vignette > Fictional Portrayal of Psychopaths > Grotesquerie Families & Relationships > Futuristic False Utopia Dystopic Societies > Fear of the Unknown Dystopian Literature > Dark Fantasy > Sword & Sorcery > Bizzarro > Literary > Absurdist > Yaoi > Gay Romance > Slice of Life > Dystopian > Post-Post-Zombie Apocalypse > Time Travel > Portal Fantasy > Character Study > Vignette

LANGUAGE: Scottish-Canadian English. This book is written by a Scottish author and is written in the author’s native language, Scottish English, then translated after into Canadian English.

LITERARY FICTION WARNING: This entire series is Character Driven Slice of Life Vignette Literary Fiction, meaning there's a lot of dialogue, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, a lot of monologues, and a lot of emotional introspective, but not much action or plot going on in this heavily character driven series. Each story is a narrow, focused look at a single event (often a single day or hour) in Quaraun's life.

This content warning has been added because for some reason, more than 1,000 readers have contacted me to suggest I add it because they said they would have bought nothing in the series had they known ahead of time this was LITERARY Fantasy and not generic Fantasy.

*shrug*

I don't see the need for this content warning, but, whatever. Here it is.

Pronunciation Guide:

Quaraun: Quay-Rownne A name I made up, for one of my player characters while playing RPG games. Pronounced like in Quaking Quebec Quaker, in an Earthquake rescued by a RoNin in a row-boat made of Rowan wood. Merrily they sail away as the quaking Quebecian Quaker sings Row, Row, Row your boat. Quaraun = Quay-Rownn. Quaraun is an albino Moon Elf silk weaver.

Phooka: Foo-KA, Like phooey foo-fighters and kakapo birds. A Phooka, pronounced with a soft “f” and spelt with a “ph” is an evil blood thirsty type of Faerie, related to a Kelpie, and is a type of Unicorn, not to be confused with Pooka (poo-ka – pronounced with a hard “P” like Winnie the Pooh Bear and spelt with no “h”) also not to be confused with invisible rabbits named Harvey. This is not a race I invented or created. Phookas are a little known but powerful shape shifter race of water horses and among the most feared of all races of Welsh and Scottish Fae, said to be feared even by RedCaps.

Thullid: thooo-LID, like you was thinking of thick goo on a lid. th-ooo-LID. Thullid. A race I created specifically for this series. A Lovecraftian creature, similar to a humanoid version of Cthulhu; basically a pink or purple skinned squid/octopus headed humanoid alien type thing, with lots and lots and lots of tentacles wriggling all over the place.

Gwallmaiic: gwal-MAY-ick, yep, pronounced exactly as it is spelt. It's a Medieval era Welsh name that I found years ago, when going through micro-films of inventory list documents of a manor house.

Quaraun - The Pink Necromancer

At its heart, the Quaraun the Insane series is an emotionally driven, character-focused exploration of love, obsession, and survival.

Every scene is filtered through Quaraun’s point of view—his paranoia, possessiveness, rage, trauma, and deep emotional dependency on his lover, BoomFuzzy.

The stories unfold not through external action or plot twists, but through the internal storms of Quaraun’s mind.

Dialogue drives the conflict.

Tension arises from emotional friction, not from world-ending stakes.

The series is a polyamorous Yaoi drama. BoomFuzzy is a possessive bear seme: dominant, crude, lewd, and deeply in love with Quaraun. Quaraun is a delicate, moody, androgynous twink: self-absorbed and fiercely devoted to BoomFuzzy. GhoulSpawn is a timid, obsessive teenage admirer who loves Quaraun but fears BoomFuzzy.

Quaraun is the obsessive, emotionally unstable centre of the series. His entire world revolves around BoomFuzzy. Every emotion—rage, love, paranoia—spirals outward from that core. BoomFuzzy is protective, seductive, completely unhinged, a Lich who obeys "vampire rules" regarding garlic or crossing water or entering doors, and openly vulgar. GhoulSpawn is a nervous, shy, chattery thief, emotionally flat but hopelessly attached to Quaraun. Together they form a chaotic, dysfunctional, but strangely loyal polycule. Though wealthier than a dozen Elon Musks they live a scummy, suspicious, flirtatious, thieving, and often chaotic lifestyle.

Quaraun aka The Pink Necromancer:

The F2M transgender Persian Moon Elf main character: The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane, with BoomFuzzy the Unicorn. F2M for those unaware = Quaraun was biologically born female, but transitioned to live as a male; this is why there are stories where Quaraun is sometimes pregnant, in spite of being male and using he/him male pronouns.

Quaraun is a Necromancer by the actual dictionary definition of the word, meaning he is a psychic medium who sees and hears ghosts, and uses tarot, spirit boards, and seances to communicate with the dead.

By profession he is a silk weaver/tailor/silk merchant. Quaraun is an Elder God JellyFish who takes the form of an Elf to blend in with society. His 12 foot long hair is made out of venomous, stinging jellyfish tentacles.

Quaraun is BoomFuzzy's apprentice and regarded as the world's most powerful still living wizard. Quaraun's exact age is unknown, but he is somewhere around 750 years old.

By profession he is a silk weaver/tailor/silk merchant. Quaraun is an Elder God JellyFish who takes the form of an Elf to blend in with society. His 12 foot long hair is made out of venomous, stinging jellyfish tentacles. Quaraun is BoomFuzzy's apprentice and regarded as the world's most powerful still living wizard. Quaraun's exact age is unknown, but he is somewhere around 750 years old. In his SunTa form he is twelve thousand years old. The Scared Pink JellyFish that lives in him, is stated to being over two million years old.

Quaraun is a transman who wears boob bindings, but also has had a forced against his will double mastectomy as a form of punishment, in his youth which heavily contributed to his becoming transgender transitioning to become a man.

Quaraun was the youngest child of a deranged Seelie Court Elf king who had all daughters and wanted a son.

Quaraun was born intersex, having both male and female genitals, and is able to both father children in others and give birth to children himself. Quaraun was also born with severe mental disorders, generally presumed to have low-functioning autism.

As a teenager, Quaraun was identifying as a female and was one of the favourite princesses of the Elf's royal court.

When Quaraun attracted the romantic attention of the UnSeelie Court Faerie King, her father, infuriated, cut off her breasts and mutilated her vagina, in a brutal attempt to force his intersex child to become his son. When Quaraun tried to fight back to defend himself, his father crushed his hands in the grinding wheel of a millstone, which is why Quaraun now has metal prosthetic hands.

Quaraun left The Seelie Court, joined forced with the UnSeelie Court, and continued wearing the royal pink gowns of a Seelie Elven princess, but took to binding his mutilated breasts, using male pronouns and identify as a male, and went on to marry the UnSeelie Court Faerie King becoming his court mage.

All of that information can be found in the novels.

Many of the stories in this collection are elderly Quaraun, now many centuries later, reflecting on this event from his youth.

Quaraun is to silk what Sweeney Todd was to barbering: a genius artisan twisted by grief and madness, the best who ever lived—unmatched, elegant, and utterly insane. A stoic, frail Moon Elf who walks with a jewelled cane and speaks in venom-laced poetry, Quaraun weaves spells into every thread of his fabrics. His garments are coveted by kings, cursed by gods, and soaked in the blood of those who dared insult his artistry. He is not just a master tailor—he is a surgeon of silk and murder.

He dresses in shimmering pinks, but his soul is black. His broken, clawed hands move only with the aid of enchanted gold-plated gloves, yet his work is flawless, obsessive, and beautiful enough to drive men mad. Quaraun kills without warning—quietly, suddenly, and with theatrical flourish. A single word, a gesture, the wrong look, and his Rainbow Wand flashes—a throat is slit, a body turned to ash, a city devoured by pink rose-thorned eldritch vines. Then he returns to his loom, unbothered.

He is the crown jewel of psychotic elegance. Worshipped by monsters, feared by all, he built an empire of silk, medicine, and black market magic—then burned it down and made it again, better, crueler, silkier. His love for BoomFuzzy is obsessive and violent. His patience is limited. And when the world displeases him, he carves its seams out one scream at a time.

Quaraun’s interactions with Humans are defined by contempt and hostility. He considers them pests—beneath notice—and ignores them entirely unless provoked. If a Human stares at him, mispronounces his name, or dares to interrupt him, Quaraun responds with venomous fury. He raises his Rainbow Wand to their face with clinical precision, threatening to fry their brain. Quaraun walks with a cane, often relies on a rollator walker, and sometimes uses a wheelchair. He wears intricate gold-plated mechanical gloves to compensate for crushed, fused fingers. Though his mobility is limited, his presence is commanding. He is most often found seated—on benches, logs, or bar booths—quietly judging those around him.

In his SunTa form he is twelve thousand years old.

The Scared Pink JellyFish that lives in him, is stated to being over two million years old.

Art by Wendy Christine Allen

• For those unaware, the Quaraun series started out as fanfiction of several things before going on to be it's own thing (most fanfiction things were removed by 1987, and all fanfiction elements removed completely by 2012; from 1996 to 2012 the series was published daily on FanFiction.net, from 2004 to 2010 on MySpace {back when MySpace was a blogging platform}, and from 2005 to 2013 Squidoo). 

• Over the decades it has featured fanfiction from many things, including: It was a combination fanfiction of 

1. The Rocky Horror Picture Show, 
2. Faeries, 
3. Rainbow Brite, 
4. The Herself the Elf, 
5. Rose-Petal Place, 
6. Dragonriders of Pern,
7. She-Ra: Princess of Power, 
8. The Love Bug, 
9. The Cat From Outer Space, 
10. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, 
11. Jem and The Holograms, 
12. ElfQuest, 
13. Splash, 
14. The Dark Crystal, 
15. Labyrinth, 
16. The Smurfs, 
17. The Fall of the House of Usher, 
18. Dr. Phibes Rises Again!, 
19. House on Haunted Hill, 
20. Beneath The Planet Of The Apes, 
21. AD&D/Spelljammer, 
22. Mad Max, 
23. Inuyasha, 
24. and Don't Starve.

• Primary among them was the character Lythande by Marion Zimmer Bradley, whom Quaraun’s character is based upon.

• At it's core, the entire series was most heavily fanfiction of Lythande and The Mists of Avalon, both by Marion Zimmer Bradley.

• Before there was Quaraun, there was Lythande by Marion Zimmer Bradly… the FIRST intersex, transgender homeless Gypsy mage, part of The Mists of Avalon series, which spans dozens of books throughout the 1970s & 1980s, all featuring an intersex, female to male mage main character .

• Lythande started out as a series of short stories in magazines in the 1970s, and was later complied into a collection in the 1980s. After Bradley’s death, several unpublished Lythande stories were found and her granddaughter published “The Complete Lythande” which includes everything she wrote, including the previously unpublished stories, which remain unedited and unfinished.

• After publishing the first Lythande story, Bradley issued a letter to her fans, that Lythande was without copyright and “open world” and invited fans to write more stories for the series. I was one of the fans who answered this.

• When the Bradley lawsuits and court cases rocked the literary world a few years later, I unpublished everything featuring Lythande and the world, and changed all characters and world to OC ones, republishing them, in what is now The Quaraun series.

• For those unfamiliar with Lythande it was the first mass market produced book to feature a transgender main character.

• Lythande at the time of it’s publication was one of the most controversial, most hated, most boycotted, and most banned book of the era — due to it being the first TRADITIONALY PUBLISHED by one of the “Big Four” publishing houses, to feature a TRANSGENDER main character.

• Lythande is a lesbian female, who lives in a part Medival, part ancient Persia, part modern space traveling CyberTech world dominated by woman hating men -who are mass murdering females at alarming levels in an attempt to rid the world of the evil that is women. Lesbian women are the primary target in this nightmarish dystopian world where the LGBTQAI+ community is being massacred in a dictator decreed genocide. In order to help her fellow lesbians gain their rights and freedoms, Lythande goes undercover as a man to infiltrate The Blue Star Warriors, a group of male mages who control the world’s magic. She becomes the most powerful mage of all time across all dimensions, but when the leader of The Blue Star Warriors discovers she is a woman, he curses her. The curse forces her to live the rest of her life as a man, including, she is no longer able to have sex as a woman, literally turning into a male with a penis whenever she tries to have sex with her female lover; additional she is cursed with immortally and lives for thousands of years, falling in love with hundreds of women, and never able to be with any of them as a woman… 

• unfortunately… like Firefly, the series remains unfinished, because the author died before she finished writing it, so, we never find out how the series would have ended.

• My Quaraun books, take that exact same premise and run with it on a full blow ‘What if?”

• — I do highly recommend you read Lythande, if you want to gain a full ‘lore background” on the lore behind my Quaraun series :

The Complete Lythande (Amazon Affiliate Link)
It’s a long wait until the Last Battle of Law and Chaos, when the forces of Good and Evil will clash for the final…amzn.to

• I add the Lythande note to this story today, because this is an MPreg story which leans in heavy on the Lythande lore.

BoomFuzzy

King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn:

Quaraun's husband, BoomFuzzy aka King Gwallmaiic, a Scottish Phooka, who is King of The UnSeelie Court.

BoomFuzzy is a "classic fantasy type" Necromancer who uses sorcery to raise the dead. Being a Faerie he is also an illusionist and master of trickster magic.

By profession, he is a Master Chef, owning the global monopoly on restaurants, taverns, pubs, and food trucks.

Until his death, BoomFuzzy was regarded as the world's most powerful wizard. He is now a Lich.

BoomFuzzy is not a man. He was once—a vile, demonic Faerie warlord, a blood-soaked pastry king whose empire fed nations their own dead—but that was a lifetime ago. On the hundredth anniversary of his death, he clawed his way back from the grave as a Lich, and what returned was something colder, crueler, and utterly unkillable.

Now he is immortal. Cut off his head, he reattaches it. Burn his body, he reforms in frost. Kill him, and he rises again, smiling through teeth of ice.

He is a Lich of frost and famine, whose kiss draws the warmth from the living, freezing their blood solid in their veins. He commands necromantic ice magic, conjuring blizzards from his breath, snowstorms from his fury. His kitchens are meat lockers, his ovens tombs.

BoomFuzzy is a culinary god of death who wields his chef’s knives with the elegance of a ballet dancer and the precision of an autopsy. His sous chefs are goblins. His ingredients? Anyone who displeases him. He is obsession incarnate—possessive, jealous, feral with love for Quaraun.

And he is not a joke. His crude flirtation, his lewd innuendos—they are weapons of psychological war, not humour. His rage simmers beneath every pun. His hunger is endless. He has murdered whole cities for daring to look at Quaraun the wrong way. He is the UnSeelie King, an undead tyrant, and when he says “I love you,” he means “I own you,” and he will freeze the world to prove it.

This being a furry series, BoomFuzzy has a long fluffy tail

BoomFuzzy is Quaraun’s fiercely protective and completely mentally unhinged husband.

A blind, short-tempered, vulgar, and violent Faerie King, BoomFuzzy embodies a kind of deranged, territorial love. He has sharp gold-plated teeth, brandishes obsidian knives, and speaks in crude, sexually explicit street slang.

Around Humans, he becomes feral—ready to fight at the slightest perceived threat to his beloved Elf.

Though nearly blind, he navigates the world using enchanted AI-powered steampunk goggles, often grinning with lewd promises and dark threats.

He is both Quaraun’s lover and his brutal guardian.

BoomFuzzy is also half-Human. His mother was a Mongolian/Chinese Human, which is why he wears distinctively Asian outfits, along with a great kilt worn as a cape.

Known as BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, he often takes the form of a purple Unicorn.

BoomFuzzy's exact age is unknown, though he was well over two thousand years old at the time of his death, and Quaraun resurrected him as a Lich around 500+ years ago, making him close to 3,000 years old.

In his BlackBird form he is fifteen thousand years old.

Before Quaraun rose to power as The Pink Necromancer, King Gwallmaiic was feared as the world’s most powerful and most evil mage. He is a Phooka, a type of Trickster Faerie who wields mind control magic, illusions, glimmer spells, and is regarded as the most deadly of the Faerie Chefs.

While he makes succulent feasts for his friends, he also bakes toxic, deadly, poisonous feasts for his foes. Quaraun’s primary husband, BoomFuzzy (old and with his food truck).

An evil warlord in his youth, BoomFuzzy eventually commit suicide, resulting in his soul being trapped in The Swamp of Death.

Quaraun became a Necromancer to resurrect BoomFuzzy as a Lich. In his Lich form, seen here, BoomFuzzy became a master chef and travels the decimated ruins of the apocalypse bringing food to the homeless and wasteland survivors. 

Art by Wendy Christine Allen

GhoulSpawn

Glinta aka GhoulSpawn the Crazed:

Their on again/off again mad scientist golden fleeced Sheep Demon lover: GhoulSpawn with his 1974 AMC Gremlin time machine. GhoulSpawn was born on a boiling, fire planet, but as a small child was summoned to 1959 Earth by Humans with a ouija board.

He lived among Humans, getting a PhDs in Quantum Physic and AstroPhysics, invented time travel, built a time machine, and then in 1978, fell through a portal, and is now trapped in 40th century Maine.

Being a Demon from literal Hell, he has natural elemental abilities with fire and can summon hell creatures.

He is Quaraun's apprentice, and feared by Humans to be on a fast track to becoming more powerful than either BoomFuzzy or Quaraun.

GhoulSpawn, the youngest of the trio, is a Sheep-Demon-Satyr—an Usurig, an immortal being who operates according to the rigid lore of Persian Demon mythology.

He is stoic, emotionless, and incapable of laughter or humour. He does not understand sarcasm, and reacts to jokes with discomfort or confusion.

He is devoid of Human emotion.

He does not laugh.

He does not joke.

He does not smile.

He speaks with a deadpan, breathless cadence, listing facts and observations with surgical clarity.

GhoulSpawn is a compulsive thief, trained in sleight of hand, misdirection, and calculated chaos.

Around Humans, he plays the clumsy intruder—deliberately bumping into passersby, knocking them off balance, even hurling them through tables or into glass windows, without any regard to if he might hurt them,  if needed. While offering apologies in a flat, rehearsed tone, he empties their pockets with his prehensile tail and vanishes into the crowd.

He is always watching—doors, exits, security guards, glinting jewellery, unattended bags. He is driven by obsessive routines and maintains a logical inventory of everything he steals. He shows no remorse, because he is not capable of it.

Due to his digitigrade legs, he tends to haunch forward, making him appear to be around 6'4" tall, when walking or standing around relaxed. However, when standing straight, his full height is well over seven feet tall, not counting his horns. His Jacobean tall spiralled centre horns can reach over two feet tall, making his full height around nine feet tall, toe to horn tip if standing straight without hunching over.

Due to Quaraun (5'6") and BoomFuzzy (5'1") being so short, GhoulSpawn tends to deliberatly bend his knees more, and lean forward and down more, to try to make himself closer to their height.

GhoulSpawn’s behaviour is manipulative, precise, and mechanical, not emotional, kind, or comedic. He is not soft-spoken out of gentleness—he is flat, monotone, affectless, and operates with a cold, utilitarian logic. His apologies are scripted, performative, and only used to mask the theft. He is a Demon, following Demon logic, not Human emotion.

GhoulSpawn is a compulsive thief, always watching for guards, security, or the law. He wears green velvet robes and gold-rimmed glasses, carries scanning equipment, and is always accompanied by an AI drone named Toobe.

The Rift-Walker – Hell’s Chronomancer, Demon of Portals, Summoner of Infernal Livestock

GhoulSpawn is a walking black hole in reality—a Sweeney Todd of the space-time continuum, whose trauma-choked mind opens gates to other realms the way others draw breath. He is the greatest chronomancer in existence, a Sheep-Demon Satyr displaced by centuries, abandoned in a frozen hellscape, and now loyal only to Quaraun. His hooves leave scorched snow behind him. His golden omega eyes never blink. And when he speaks, it is with robotic honesty and unnerving exactness—truth only, always, emotionless, sterile, and terrifying.

He cannot lie. He cannot joke. He does not understand laughter. But he understands orders—and when Quaraun gives them, entire villages are erased in molten firestorms, devoured by bleating obsidian sheep, or dragged into alternate timelines that never end.

GhoulSpawn is no child. He is not innocent. He is the Omega Gate, a biological weapon, soft-spoken and broken, but capable of unraveling oceans when triggered.

He speaks in spirals, breathless and endless, overwhelmed by too much memory and not enough grounding. He opens rifts that cannot be closed. He is terrified of BoomFuzzy but obeys him without question.

GhoulSpawn does not laugh when the world burns. He just watches the flames, counts the corpses, and waits for Quaraun to tell him where to strike next.

Due to the inconvenience of the tall centre horns hitting things, he often saws them off and keeps the stubs hidden under his hair. His horns grow fast, taking only 5 to 6 months to reach full size, and so he saws them down several times a year. In his Cheka form he no longer saws his horns off, and has taken to wearing special made platform boots over his hooves, giving him an opposing appearance of being over twelve feet tall.

Due to his messing around with time travel, there are 5 different versions of him which appear throughout the series, each from different dimensions and alternate time lines, each one uses a different name (Glinta, GhoulSpawn, Gremlin, Checka, ZooLock - while GhoulSpawn is the one seen most often, Gremlin is in fact the correct original one). GhoulSpawn is very young, not yet 50 years old.

The Gremlin version of him is around 500 years old, while the Checka version of him is thirteen thousand years old, and the ZooLock version of him is stated to be "old as time".

And the irony of GhoulSpawn eventually becoming ZooLock is that ZooLock is the one who caused the comet strike, which caused GhoulSpawn to go to the future - a paradox which is why GhoulSpawn can not return to his own time.

GhoulSpawn as Gremlin

GhoulSpawn as Checka

GhoulSpawn as ZooLock

GhoulSpawn had gone to Harvard in the 1960s and 1970s, amassing several PhDs in various physical and technical sciences. None of his education mattered now that he was stuck in the 40th century dystopian remains of what left of the Earth after comet Swift Tuttle has hit the moon in the year 2525.

The only education that mattered here in the 40th century was how to fight zombies, how to scavenge ruins, how to keep ahead of zombie hordes, how to hunt and gather and grow and make everything you needed yourself.

Stores. Schools. Governments. No one here even knew what those things were.

Everyone here was a warrior. Everyone. Elderly. Women. Children. Even small toddlers. They had to be. There were only seven million people left alive on the planet. Quaraun's caravan, The UnSeelie Court, lead by King Gwallmaiic, the Unicorn King of the Realm of Fae, with is four hundred Faeries, was the largest single group on the planet.

There were twenty one billion zombies now. Most of them controlled by the Thullid Cultists. Who wanted their Elder God Mother Brain back. And she didn't want to go back. The deranged psionic sea creatures of Neptune's Moon had found they could move the zombie hordes like puppets, and thus the herd was getting bigger, and was on their tail.

The UnSeelie Court had made it their life purpose to protect The Sacred Pink JellyFish at all costs. And so they travelled with her as she ran from ZooLock and his ever increasingly deranged plots to capture her.

The Faeries knew the danger. ZooLock had captured her before, imprisoned the tiny pink jellyfish in a glass globe and then used her power to control everything. EVERYTHING. Entire planets changed obit under his will. It was how The Fractured Moon came to be fractured. ZooLock had decided to use his glass jellyfish filled crystal ball to shift Comet Swift Tuttle when it arrived for it's annual August 12th meteor shower.

The result? The comet hit the moon. The nine planet solar system was now a five planet solar system. The remains of the four destroyed planets filled Earth's air with dust, and no sunlight could get through. Earth was now a frozen snowball wasteland. Dead things, with glowing blue comet crystals embedded in them, marched across the planet eating the living.

The Unicorns and Kelpies had taken advantage of the mass panic as the comet stuck, to invade the Thullid Temple.

And in the chaos, ZooLock dropped his crystal ball, it shattered, and the tiny Sacred Pink JellyFish escaped, rescued by a purple Unicorn, who used her powers to crown himself King of the UnSeelie Court, then set her free. She killed every last priest in the temple, save ZooLock, then took up residence in the hollowed out skull of a dead Moon Elf, taking control of his body, replacing his hair with her tentacles, and then returned to the Unicorn King whom had helped her escape ZooLock, now in the form of a male Elf, and taking the position of his Court Mage.

Among, the many things to appear after the comet strike, were feral portals. Strange wormholes to the past, which randomly sucked people from the past into this 40th century apocalypse.

GhoulSpawn had been one of them.

A feral portal had brought him here and GhoulSpawn spent most of his free time attempting to build a time machine as he knew of no other way to get back to 1978 where he belonged. The problem was the longer he was here, the less he wanted to go back to where he had come from. He almost did not want to leave. Almost. 

ZooLock was hellbent on getting his Sacred Pink JellyFish back. And it meant Quaraun had to live on the run. With an ever growing herd of Thullid controlled zombies on his trail. They stayed no where more then a few days. Because he was a Thullid Jellyfish, only disguised as an Elf, Quaraun could never move inland, never get more then a few miles away from the ocean. And so they continually retraced their steps, from Florida to Ivujivik, then back again. A trip that took 3 years to walk, one way.

Art by Wendy Christine Allen

Quaraun, BoomFuzzy, and GhoulSpawn live in an isolated lighthouse near a 500-acre bio-dome.

They spend weeks at home crafting wares, silk cloth, blankets, soaps, candles, pottery, breads, jams, pies, then take extended trade journeys by vardo or steamboat. Their route spans the Atlantic coast—Maine, Quebec, Massachusetts, Labrador, all the way to South America.

Between long, peaceful stretches at home, they travel constantly by vardo and riverboat to markets, towns, and cities across the Atlantic coast. These trade runs take them from Labrador to Florida, and sometimes into South America, but staying mostly in Maine and Massachusetts.

Quaraun sells silks, perfumes, tarot readings, and potions;

BoomFuzzy sells pastries, seafood, and street food out of a robin’s-egg blue 1968 VW bus. GhoulSpawn steals from everyone.

They sleep in an elaborate pink silk tent, cook over open fires, and make their fortune on charm, scams, and sleight of hand.

On the road, Quaraun sells silk, candles, and enchantments at market stalls. BoomFuzzy peddles chowder, pies, cakes, and, chocolates, while gutting meat-eaters from his blue VW Bus food truck. GhoulSpawn slinks through crowds stealing jewellery, wallets, and coloured glass while evading guards. They travel in a huge 400 person caravan made up of Kelpies, Phookas, Goblins, Leprechauns, travelling in wagons, vardo, buses, vans, RVs, etc. The entire UnSeelie Court, all 400+ people fit on The Blue Monkey, Quaraun huge luxury paddlewheel tramp-steamer riverboat. They sleep in a pink silk tent deep in the forest between towns, surrounded by fur pelts, absinthe bottles, and magical traps.

Though rulers of the planet, they are travelling merchants and thieves.

Quaraun is a flamboyant charlatan selling luxury silks and dangerous potions.

BoomFuzzy is a filthy-mouthed gourmet chef in a VW Bus who flirts, scams, and seduces customers.

GhoulSpawn pickpockets everything that is not nailed down, including sheep. His bag of holding pockets are full of sheep. They travel from city to city by vardo and riverboat, camping in forests between stops, sleeping on fur-pelt nests under a pink silk tent.

When not fighting in taverns or running from guards, they’re swindling Humans or feeding stray goats chowder.

EDITED TO ADD: (January 22, 2025)

Seeing how this story is pinned to my profile, I am adding this “Trigger Warning Intro” to the start of this story, because a reader had a rant about their hatred of all things gay, transgender, etc and felt I had deceived them into reading my stories, by not warning them ahead of time that the characters were gay, married, or transgender… apparently they did not read either the kicker above the title or the footer at the end, which is completely identical on all 1,200+ pages published here on Medium…. sooooo… here you go:TW NOTE: This is an MPreg Yaoi series:

• Quaraun is a trans-man and is the biological “mother” of the children seen in these stories;
• there are stories set before he is pregnant,
• while he is pregnant,
• and after the children are born;
• the series starts when Quaraun (an Elf) is a nine year old child, and ends when he dies at well over two thousand years old
• — over the course of that 2,000 year period, he is pregnant more than one hundred times, giving birth to over four hundred children throughout the course of his very long life, having several sets of twins & triplets
• I do not write the series in chronological order, so you see stories set at all point of his life from youth to old age, including stories set before he transitions to being a man, and stories set while he is both a man and pregnant
• more than 3/4s of the 138 novels, 432 novellas, 500+ poems, and 3,000+ short stories are set WHILE HE IS PREGNENT, thus why the genre of the series is listed as MPreg
• MPreg MEANS pregnant male
• the first volume of this series was published September 23, 1978, and this series has ALWAYS been MPreg that ENTIRE five decades
• Quaraun is married to BoomFuzzy
• GhoulSpawn is not married to either of them, but is the lover of BOTH Quaraun and BoomFuzzy
• this is thruple, meaning BoomFuzzy is the father of some children, while GhoulSpawn is the father of other children;
• the children are raised by all three of the men, though most of the care is done by a crew of 37 female servants referred to as “Quaraun’s handmaids”
• Quaraun is intersex, his handmaids are also his 37 wives, and they have each given birth to several of his children

Here are a few of the more then 500 lists, where you can see the stories that heavily feature these topics:

Sweet Yaoi — Gay Romance (Short Stories & Poems — Fiction)

Why Choose Sweet Poly Romance (Shorts & Poetry — Fiction)

Dark Romance (Stories & Poems — Fiction)

Lover’s Triangle Dark Romance (Stories & Poems — Fiction)

MPreg/Pregnant Male Yaoi (Stories & Poems — Fiction)

MPreg Yaoi, Family Stories, with the children, after birth

I have been informed by an outraged reader that they would liked to have known that ahead if time before reading the series — — even though it IS literally mentioned on EVERY page of the series, apparently the note is not well stated as it says the series is Sweet Poly MPreg Furry Yaoi even though it says that is what the series is, in both the KICKER and FOOTER of EVERY SINGLE of over ONE THOUSAND stories here on Medium…, but apparently some people do know know what Sweet Poly MPreg Furry Yaoi means:

• MPreg = pregnent male
• trans man = biological female who is transgender and lives as a male
• yaoi = a Japanese word that means “boy love” aka gay romance; all 3 main characters sleep together in the same bed; while there are no sex scenes sex obviously happens otherwise one of 3 would not frequently be pregnant by the other 2
• poly romance = more than 2 people sharing a relationship; in this case it is a married couple and their shared live in lover; all 3 are male
• furry = non-Human characters with animal features such as fur, tentacles, claws, fangs, tails, wings, hooves, fins, or horns — all 3 main characters have wings and fangs and claws; 2 have tails, 2 have fur, 1 has horns and hooves, one has tentacle hair and jellyfish skin
• Sweet = there is no sex and focus is on the family dynamics of their relationship, a lot of the focus is on raising a family, protecting their family, and taking care of each other and their children
• Sweet Poly MPreg Furry Yaoi is the genre
• genre = what the theme is; Fantasy is a genre, Horror is a genre, SciFi is a genre, Romance is a genre; Sweet Poly MPreg Furry Yaoi is the genre that this series is.

There you go. End of edit.

The Series Prologue aka Quaraun’s Backstory

(The stories in this collection are written with the assumption readers have already read the novel series. This is a 25 page summary of the 750 page novel BoomFuzzy; as much info as is required to know the situation on the present era of the stories in this collection.)

Two thousand years before Quaraun met Unicorn...

It is the year 3999 - Quaraun is the last Moon Elf, and possibly the last Elf of any type, left on Planet Vesonta, after two apocalypses wiped out the planet.

The first - a comet hit the moon, fracturing the moon, filling the atmosphere with comet dust and moon dust, blocking out the sun, and shifting the planet's orbit, causing a "snowball earth" ice age to occur. Where shards of the shattered comet hit the earth, huge Crystal Forests grew up, causing The Crystal Plague, giving rise to magic and mages who use the crystals to power their spells. Only seven million people were known to have survived. Of those seven million, fewer than one thousand were female.

The second - forced to live as men or be hunted by men, females went into hiding, disguised as men. One such female, a Moon Elf name Quaraun, was outed by a gang of men, who cut off her hands and publicly gang raped by the entire town while her husband was murdered. Enraged she swore vengeance on the entire planet, turning to Necromancy, she resurrected her husband as a Lich, and then used the same spell to summon all dead things: people, animals, plants, trees - - to rise up and wage war on rapists. Ushering in the zombie apocalypse.

Twenty-one Billion UnDead move in mass herds across the earth, controlled by the Necromancer and the Lich, and hunting down all rapists among the seven million survivors.

Now with gold plated prosthetic hands, known as The Pink Necromancer, and once again living as a man, Quaraun and his now Lich husband, wander the 40th century zombie infested ice age wasteland that is all that remains of earth.

There was a point in time, in the history of Vesonta, where there was in fact one world government". But it was not a government with rules or laws. It was a dictatorship, ruled by a deranged madman/serial killer/warlord who crowned himself king of the world, after he and his private army of gangster-thugs, systematically went from country to country and killed every king/prime minister/president/etc of each country, then put on of his generals in control of said country, while he and the rest of his army moved on to kill the next leader.

His name was King Gwallmaiic aka The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn.

King Gwallmaiic is a shape-shifting Phooka, who as a child developed a taste for Elf flesh and grew up to become a warlord who decimated Elf villages. Not a part of any Royal Family, just a commoner himself, Gwallmaiic made his way across Vesonta slaughtering and eating every Royal Family of every region of the Realm of Fae, until there were no kings, queens, princes, or princesses left alive. Once all royals were dead, Gwallmaiic crowned himself King of Fae and ruled the Realm of Fae for two thousand years, in a brutal, bloody reign of terror.

During his rule, King Gwallmaiic brought the entire Elf population to the brink of extinction. Once the primary race and dominate species of Planet Vesonta, Elves went from millions of citizens to only a few hundred survivors, during King Gwallmaiic's reign.

Gwallmaiic ruled the world from a gingerbread house, that sat perched on raven legs, at the top of a tall tree growing on the side of a teleporting volcano known as Fire Mountain. The mountain and its surrounding valley, Pepper Valley, could be moved to any location on the planet, appearing instantly without warning, unleashing Gwallmaiic's army on unsuspecting villages.

While it would seem impossible for one man to march his little band of a few dozen misfit across the planet and one by one kill every ruler on the planet, one has to take into consideration that King Gwallmaiic aka The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, was in fact a shape-shifting Faerie, whose natural/biological/true form, is NOT that of a man, but rather that of a little cute miniature horse aka a Shetland pony. And if you don't know how tiny a Shetland Pony is, this is a smallest breed of horse, which stands knee high to a CHILD - not an adult person, but a child person. 

BoomFuzzy was a very tint, soft and fluffy, cuddly little pony, small enough for a child to pick him up and carry him away.

Literally, goats, sheep, and golden retrievers tower tall over these little teeny, tiny, miniature horses.

King Gwallmaiic aka The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, is a cute, fluffy, shaggy little, teeny, tiny, itty-bitty, innocent looking black Shetland Pony. The type of creature, that you look at and go "Awwwwwh soooo cuuuute! Can I keep it? Please mommy, please?"

So, you have the cute FUZZY little pony, who comes trotting up into your garden, and the royal family will run over and pet it, because it looks like an innocent little pony, but then all of a sudden it turns into a sharp fanged, long taloned monster and rips the family apart and BOOM instantly king and his entire family is dead, without any actual war or invasion, and it happens in their backyard, and the pony and galloped off back into the forest long before anyone in the castle even realizes the king is dead.

And thus the nickname BoomFuzzy, because BOOM the FUZZY little pony killed you before you had a chance to realize you were in any danger at all.

And this is how King Gwallmaiic aka The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, was able to just walk his way across the globe, one by one killing off every ruler or every country...

BUT... it gets worse...

Phookas are shape-shifters, they can look like anything or anyone...

So, after killing the royal family, he then ate them, and had some of his Phookan army, stay behind, shape-shifted to look like the royal family... so no one in the kingdom even realized the king and his family was dead, because they seemed to still be there.

After killing every royal family this way, and leaving shape-shifter stand-ins in their place, King Gwallmaiic, was able to suddenly, all at once, in one single day, just announced: "I'm the King of the entire planet." At which point all the stand-ins reverted to their true forms (Shetland ponies) revealing that the kings and queens and presidents and czars, etc, of every country, had all been dead for months.

In essence, King Gwallmaiic aka The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, took over the entire planet via very sneaky infiltration and "pod-people" style replacement of royal families, until he'd killed every royal family, and had control of every government on the planet.

But, by leaving his Phooka thugs in each royal home, he also had minions on the inside of each government, and so no government was able to fit back when it was finally revealed that King Gwallmaiic had control.

But, it also wasn't just royal families. BoomFuzzy also took out noble families, lower level government leaders (people like town managers, mayor, army generals, governors, dukes, etc.) He killed and infiltrated every level of every government, from country levels to village levels.

Keeping in mind that this is a Faerie who has a lifespan that is nearly immortal, and he spent well over a hundred years doing this, before he finally killed them all and left replacements.

And then, after he revealed what he had done, King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy, maintains full global control of the entire planet for a full two thousand years, before he finally got bored with playing King, ruling the world, and just one day abandoned his one world government throne to become a candy maker, move to the North Pole and build a giant gingerbread city for Santa Claus. 

Did I mention BoomFuzzy had a Krampus form? 

Yep. 

Anyway...King Gwallmaiic aka The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, is a Phooka, and in his natural-true form is a small shaggy black pony the size of a goat, with a single gleaming silver horn, and sharp eagle's talon-like hooves, and sharp long fangs. He lives in brackish water swamps, sometimes sprouts huge black feathered wings, and like a Nuckelavee often appears with a demonic-skeletal human rider on his back, which is actually attached to and part of him. 

He pretends to be lame to attracts humans to try to catch him, but when they get near, he grans them with his fangs and drags them into the swamp, drowning them, then eats their flesh, and afterward grinds their bones into bone-meal flour which he then uses to bake magical Faerie gingerbread, that he uses to build his gingerbread house out of, which he then lives in, while in his human-form, and uses to attract Elf children, which he also eats. Known as The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, the Phookan Lich Unicorn named BoomFuzzy is the most feared nightmare fuel monster of the world. He is the primary lover of the Elf Necromancer and Silk Merchant, Quaraun. 

All governments were completely disbanded and the entire planet was reduced into a chaotic, "Faerie Playground" with evil, demonic, trickster Fae just enslaving everyone and turning the entire of civilization and society upside-down.

BoomFuzzy didn't give a shit about "lesser beings" and viewed Humans simply as a food source beast of burden to be herded into cages, to be slaughtered and ground into burgers.

Keep in mind, BoomFuzzy is also renowned as being the world's greatest chef... and was known for throwing massive feasts in the Faerie Court, just for the sole purpose of having an excuse to cook...

...And...

...the entire REASON he took over the planet and crowned himself King of the World, was simply so that he could herd humans into meat factories, so he had enough meat to cook for his huge Faerie Court Feasts.

So... basically, it was Faeries looking at Humans and going: "Mmmmm, tasty!" then turning the planet into a massive farm of enslaved Human-livestock, so feed the Faerie population.

Soooo... it wasn't exactly like he took over the governments because he wanted the typical power of controlling the world, as a human dictator would do, rather instead, it was, he was no different from a beef farmer who was just amassing a monopoly on livestock so he could feed his people, because, at the start of all of this, there was a massive famine and Faeries were all starving to death, and initially he started taking out royal families as a way to provide food to his starving people.

Anyways, yeah. 

Very Brother's Grimm, blood-guts-and-gore type of world here, in the past, or future? I'm not sure which. And the one world government was basically "Psychotic super villain Joker/Lex Luther/Dr Evil takes over the world and there was no SuperMans or BatMans or Austin Powers around to stop him".

BoomFuzzy in his horse form, acts as Quaraun's horse (to ride for travel) as well as the horse which is often harnessed to FarDarrig's Vardo (covered wagon) and the Silver Coach... but, before he was Quaraun's lover he was once the Faerie King whom had sadistically ruled the entire planet for two thousand years, after systematically killing and eating every royal family on the planet.

And so a psychotic, bloody-thirsty, sadistic, shape-shifting Faerie Horse took over the world and formed a one world dictatorship that mass slaughtered anyone who tried to protest his rule. 

And none of this mattered to Quaraun. For BoomFuzzy in his Human form, had beautiful thick, frizzy dreadlock that hung down his back reaching to his waist, and Quaraun had a fetish for beautiful hair. Quaraun could ignore the atrocities committed by BoomFuzzy, if only he could get a chance to touch, wash, brush, and shampoo the Elf Eater's glories long locs.

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun, is the last surviving Elf in a world overrun by ghosts, zombies, and undead creatures. But Quaraun himself is dead, his body taken over by The Sacred Pink JellyFish, who rather than turn his body into the typical Thullid tentacle beast, has chosen to grow her stinging tentacles as glorious twelve foot long white hair. On the run for murdering his wife and four small children, he now lives as a silk weaving merchant, travelling the New England coastline in the company of his two male lovers BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, who is a Lich, and GhoulSpawn, a cloven-hooved, sheep legged Chaos Demon.

No matter where you go in the world, everyone knows the story…..

Once upon a time there was an evil Faerie King turned Necromancer who hated Elves, and lead his armies marching across the world slaughtering and eating every Elf in every village he passed. When he grew old, he murdered his 13 generals and turned them into Liches, then he commit suicide to turn himself into a Lich too. Together, the Lich Lords continued their reign of terror, slaughtering Elves across the planet. Thus rose The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, the most feared Lich of all time.

One day they came to a village where lived a powerful Wizard. As they did everywhere they went, the Liches slaughtered the Elves. Every last one. ... Except the Wizard, who somehow survived.

Now the last of the Moon Elves roams the world in search of the Liches who killed his people. Becoming ever more powerful, learning all he can, becoming the world's most feared and most powerful Wizard.... A Lich Hunter hell bent on vengeance, out to save the world and destroy the monsters who destroyed his people…

No matter where you go in the world, no one knows the truth…..

Once upon a time there was a sad and lonely Elf, cast out by his people for being too different, too emotional, too liberal, too accepting of non-Elves, too willing to accept half-Elves as valuable members of society. Cast out of his society, left to die in the desert. He was rescued by a tribe of Demons who taught him their ways and their magic.

When his Demon "family" was killed, he returned to his birth family, only to be treated far worse than he had been before. Beaten, tortured, mutilated, traumatized, cut off from the Elven hive mind, and left hanging upside down in a tree in the forest, bleeding to death, used by his own people, as bait to catch an evil Elf Eating Faerie King. The King of the Faeries—a vicious war lord, found the gutted Elf hanging in the tree and took pity on a wounded Elf Wizard and nursed him back to health. For 30 years, they lived together. The two became lovers.

For an Elf and a Faerie to be lovers was forbidden by Elf law. The Elves viciously attacked and tortured them both. Mortally wounded, the Faerie King commit suicide to end his suffering rather than linger on in agony for weeks. Devastated, the Elf used the magic he'd learned from the Demons to resurrect the Faerie King as a Lich.

And now the Elf, a Necromancer with a Lich at his command, unleashed the Lich on the Elves to punish them for killing his lover. With every Elf dead, the Lich escaped its bottle, not returning to its Necromancer.

Now, Quaraun, the last Moon Elf, The Pink Necromancer, driven to the brink of insanity, murderer of the other Elves, roams the planet, a Lich Hunter, not hunting Liches to kill them and save the world, but searching for his undead lover that they may be reunited, caring nothing for the world or anyone in it, desiring only to be with his lover once again.

And thus the universe and all life within it, meet its end.

Originally, there was one universe, with one timeline.

But then, this strange JellyFish Elf hybrid creature was born, that had immense psionic powers, and when upset, its words manifest into reality, though it is usually unaware that this happens. For example, as a child, other children bullied this creature, and in tears he screamed, "I wish you were all dead!" And immediately, every child in the village obediently dropped dead. This terrified the adults who banished the child, but the child had no idea that the other children had died or that he had caused it, so he did not understand why he was cast out into the desert to die. 

Skip ahead many centuries. He now is elderly and spent most of his long life alone, but in his old age, he married a young wife who bore him children. Together, they were happy. He finally had the thing he wanted most: a family. But then one day, his pregnant wife and their two young boys were murdered. A random group of soldiers running through, massacred everyone. In his anguish, he screamed one word: "DIE!" And the entire universe did exactly that. The universe imploded upon itself, and in the blink of an eye, all life ceased to exist.

Three people survived: the creature, who is known as The Sacred Pink JellyFish aka The Pink Necromancer named Quaraun the Insane, and his two male lovers, a Demon named GhoulSpawn and a Lich Unicorn named BoomFuzzy. 

While Quaraun's mind sunk into the oblivion of depression and BoomFuzzy laughed in sadistic glee at the destruction of the universe, the Demon GhoulSpawn was horrified by what he'd seen and swore to make it right. Thus he built a time machine, to go back in time and stop Quaraun's family from being murdered, thus stopping Quaraun from destroying the universe. 

The death of Quaraun's family could not be stopped, because it was the event that inspired the creation of the time machine. By building the time machine intending to save that family, he inadvertently sealed their fate, making their deaths a fixed point in time that could never be changed. 

And thus how the multiverse began.

Desperate to find a way to stop the end of the universe, GhoulSpawn creates portals, like the time machine, they too, can take you through time, but they are unstable and you never know where you will end up, what time, what place, what planet. You could easily find yourself falling out of a portal into the fire mouth of a volcano and that would be the end of you… or would it?

Unknown to GhoulSpawn, each portal he opened did not in fact, take him back in time.

Instead, each time he created a portal, he inadvertently created a duplicate universe. Exactly the same, but not the same. And so, stepping through the portal, he went not to his past, but to the past of an alternate reality, which on the surface appeared to always be the same universe. 

But there were slight changes. The 2 World Wars did not happen on one universe's earth. 

Elves were real on another universe's earth.

America reached the 20th century unexplored and undiscovered on another universe's earth.

Always the same universe, but different in slight ways.

GhoulSpawn had created thousands of portals before he discovered each portal was creating a newly cloned copy of the universe. 

GhoulSpawn accidentally created thousands of mirror universes, each with its own version of himself, each version of himself creating more universes within those universes.

Infinite multiple universes now exist, and in every one of them, the murder of Quaraun's family is a fixed point in time that can not be changed. 

And while everyone else is duplicated in every universe, Quaraun is not and neither is BoomFuzzy, for they are immortal, a Necromancer and his Lich soul bound forever, and Cursed to walk between the multiverses, reliving their lives tens of thousands of times, always eventually reaching the same end of the universe, in every universe. 

Quaraun, often rubs people the wrong way because of how he dresses.

Quaraun is a Moon Elf, and Moon Elf society is strict and snooty. Or we should say was. They are dead now. Quaraun is the last Moon Elf. And that of course is why he is insane, though not for reasons you might think. There are laws dictating who can wear what style, what colour, what kind of trim, what hairstyles, etc. You can identify at a glance a Moon Elf's rank, wealth, social status, career, gender, age, marriage status, religion, etc all from how they dress. Also, Moon Elves have full bans on MOST colours. Everyone wears varying shades of light blue with silver and white trim-and that's it. No other colour is allowed. 

Quaraun is The Pink Necromancer. Pink is his favourite colour. He won't wear anything other than pink.

• Male Moon Elves wear tunics of hip to knee-length, over tight leggings and tall boots.
• Female Moon Elves wear long flowing gowns, long trains sweeping the floor behind them, long flowing sleeves, and sari style wraps around their chest and over their head.
• Quaraun not only wears only pink, he only wears pink dresses. He wears long flowing gowns, long trains sweeping the floor behind him, long flowing sleeves, and sari style wraps around his chest and over his head.
• Male Moon Elves have longish-short hair, that is never longer than shoulder length.
• Female Moon Elves have very long hair, bum to knee-length.
• Quaraun refuses to cut his hair. He is over a thousand years old, his hair drags twelve feet behind him. Because it is so long and so heavy, he has servants who walk behind him carrying his mega long hair. 
•  Male Moon Elves don't wear much jewellery, they may wear a simple ring or a chain with an amulet. 
• Female Moon Elves wear jewellery, but not heavily. Necklaces, earrings, rings, or bracelets, all simple, fairly plain.

Quaraun looks like a walking jewellery store. He has 48 gold hoop rings in each of his foot long pointed ears. He has 3 rings in his nose. One n the centre and two on each side. The nose rings are FRICKING BIG, the centre hoop covers the full size of his mouth, the side rings each cover the full side of his face. Each of the rings in his ears has a 1 to 2 foot long chain which connects to 1 of the 3 nose rings. Each of the 96 face chains has a dozen or more gemstone charms made of pink tourmaline. The effect is you can only see his eyes, as the chains are so thick they act as a mask obscuring most of his face. He has gold hoop nipple rings, with chains going between them, connecting those rings. He has both a Prince Edward penis ring and a Prince Albert penis ring. He has 58 tiny gold chain-mail-like-hoop rings running the length of his penis, and 58 addition ones in his scrotum.

Quaraun's hands are crippled and crushed, the nerves are dead. He can not use his hands. To hide the scars on his hands, and to protect his hand from being further damaged, he wears elaborate gold "gloves" made out of real gold, and fashions like Tibetan long claw dancer finger jewellery.

His twelve foot long Rapunzel hair is heavily decorated with gold chairs and filigree.

On top of all the jewellery, his pink silk dresses are heavily embroidered with real gold.

• Male Moon Elves do not wear make-up.
• Female Moon Elves wear very simple, natural looking make-up that enhances their beauty, but looks like they are not wearing make-up.

Quaraun wears neon day-glow hot fuschia magenta pink and purple eye shadow, blush, and lipstick in big triangle shapes, similar to what was worn by the Misfits from the Jem and the Holograms cartoon tv show. He also wears long pink marabou feather fake eyelashes.

In short, Quaraun is considered a transvestite (not to be confused with transgender; he is NOT trying to change his gender, he just likes pink and thinks women's fashions look better than men's) and this had led to him coming head to head with local laws of Moon Elf society on frequent occasions.

The thing of Quaraun’s gender is: it is confusing, as Quaraun is intersex and has both a vagina AND a penis and scrotum.

Quaraun's adoptive father, ZooLock was court wizard to the Moon Elf Royal Family at the time of Quaraun's birth. Quaraun's father is the youngest brother of the Moon Elf Emperor and therefore had no royal rank.

Quaraun was a, in the womb, a pair of twins, one male and one female, whose fetus fused before birth, creating an "intersex chimera hermaphrodite", meaning Quaraun has both a vagina/uterus/ovaries AND penis/testicles.Quaraun is able to BOTH to get other females pregnant AND to be made pregnant himself.

Quaraun is specifically called out as intersex only in one story: "Zebulon's Captive" where a gang of Human slavers, capture Quaraun and use him in their Elf breeding farm, and discover that he can be used BOTH to get other females pregnant AND to be made pregnant himself.

Quaraun was the youngest child, all his siblings are female. In childhood Quaraun lived as a girl, much to his father's outrage. His father wanted a son, and forced Quaraun to dress like a boy, act like a boy, and his father used public humiliation and gaslighting to convince the entire empire that Quaraun was born male.

At 9 years old, Quaraun's mother had enough of her husband's abuse of Quaraun, the resulting fight lead to Quaraun's father, murdering Quaraun's mother. Quaraun witnessed the murder, as did ZooLock. Quaraun's father turned on the child, trying to kill Quaraun as well, and ZooLock grabbed the child and fled the country.

ZooLock took Quaraun to Persia, where ZooLock raised Quaraun as though Quaraun was his daughter. Quaraun lived with ZooLock for 75 years, before returning to seek re-unition with his real father.

In the years later, Quaraun transitions to live as a male, but ZooLock never accepted this and continues to call Quaraun by female pronouns.

ZooLock eventually went insane, started The Cult of the Sacred Pink JellyFish, and went on to become one of the world's most feared super villains.

Throughout the series Quaraun and ZooLock are seen at odds, going head to head against each other, but, both refusing to physically harm the other, and each will join forces with the other, against shared enemies.

In the novel “BoomFuzzy” readers are in fact outright TOLD Quaraun is female in the scene where Quaraun says:

“His friends are worse than he is. There is one who will not leave me a lone. He treats me like a female.”

And BoomFuzzy responds with:

“Ya look like a female.”

This is said in the scene when they are in bed together and BoomFuzzy DOES NOT have sex with Quaraun. Several times throughout the story, it is pointed out BoomFuzzy enjoys sex with men, and is refusing to have sex with Quaraun because Quaraun is not a male, and BoomFuzzy is trying to come to grips with having fallen in love with a TRANSMAN who has a vagina.

This line IS in fact confirming to readers that Quaraun is biologically female.

A later scene after Quaraun’s wife forces her lovers to rape him, which states:

The she-Elf gave birth to twin boys, and now had four children, two boys and two girls to raise.

Immediately followed by

With the arrival of the children, she felt less inclined to spend time with her lovers, and soon turned them out of the castle.

And then a scene (an entire chapter) telling you that Quaraun has spent the past few months in hiding, in a nearby forest... which is meant to tell you that he had to go into hiding to HIDE HIS PREGNANT BELLY.

The line:

The she-Elf gave birth to twin boys, and now had four children, two boys and two girls to raise.

Refers to Quaraun as “the she-Elf”, but the line following:

With the arrival of the children, she felt less inclined to spend time with her lovers, and soon turned them out of the castle.

...is reference that the wife has taken the children away from Quaraun after he has given birth. Quaraun was forced to send the babies he gave birth to, back to the castle, but was also forced to continue to stay in hiding in the forest.

The entire series is based on the fact that Quaraun DOES NOT WANT to be seen as a female, he WANTS to be seen as a male, and thus the many cryptic references to his female biology being down so very cryptically.

And YET Quaraun is seen pregnant and giving birth, and seen to hate both the children he gave birth to and the woman who forced him to have to become pregnant in the first place, leading to him eventually killing both her and the four children he gave birth to.

When Quaraun was beaten into a coma by his father, BoomFuzzy kidnaped Quaraun and spent the next three years nursing the crippled Elf back to health. Quaraun never regained use of his hands and BoomFuzzy built a pair of gold-plated prosthetic gloves to encase Quaraun's real frail crippled hands. Quaraun was terrified to go back home, and developed the infinite amounts of massive phobias which plague him throughout the series. Quaraun continued to live with BoomFuzzy. Unknown to Quaraun, BoomFuzzy was already married to a warlord named Gibedon.

BoomFuzzy's husband, an army general, returned home from war to find Quaraun sleeping in BoomFuzzy's bed, immediately assumed Quaraun to be male (unaware that Quaraun had a vagina and BoomFuzzy, being gay, had never had sex with Quaraun) and believed BoomFuzzy has been cheating on him. When BoomFuzzy tried to explain that Quaraun was a female Elf in hiding, he never got the chance to explain, as Gibedon pulled out a knife and stabbed BoomFuzzy. Quaraun tried to save BoomFuzzy.

At this exact moment, a mysterious “Goat” Demon showed up from a portal, no explanation who it is (it is GhoulSpawn from the future as readers realize later in a different story) and dragged Quaraun away from the fight, saying "You have to let this happen. You stopped it before and it changed the world". By the time the Demon let's go of Quaraun and runs back through the portal, only seconds from arriving, Gibedon has gutted BoomFuzzy, leaving BoomFuzzy half dead. Quaraun grabbed the knife from Gibedon and cut off Gibedon's head.Roles now reverse as Quaraun takes care of BoomFuzzy, but the wound is to bad, and becomes septic.

Fearing BoomFuzzy would die, Quaraun returned to his father's palace to seek medical help for BoomFuzzy, and is locked, by his evil father, in a tower, as the story takes a retelling of Rapunzel, and the magic tower, causes Quaraun’s hair to mysteriously grow to twelve feet long.

Near the end of the novel, BoomFuzzy, while still locked in the tower. Quaraun is tricked into an arranged marriage with a female Elf, and, all hell breaks lose, when BoomFuzzy believing Quaraun left him, commits suicide, on the belief that Quaraun had decided to break off the relationship with a gay man.

Quaraun meanwhile is horrifically tortured by his arranged-wife and her male lovers, when Quaraun refuses to consummate the marriage and also refuses to say why, refusing to reveal he is in fact a she. Quaraun and his wife live in separate rooms, and are married for several years before a night arrives that she decides to rape Quaraun, and is horrified by what she finds, discovering that her husband has a vagina.

Quaraun, is presumably the next in line to be king, and his wife, had great plans of being queen. Those plans are shattered when she learns that, she hasn't any chance of ever being Queen at all, because Quaraun, with his vagina, will be queen, not king. The readers are told outright this is why she is upset.

As the novel winds to it's conclusion, Quaraun's wife devises a plot to get Quaraun pregnant, by hiring 5 of her bodyguards to gang rape Quaraun. There is no question in reader minds at this point that Quaraun is a female, as Quaraun gives birth to twin daughters and his wife pretends they are hers. The gang rape is repeated 2 years later and Quaraun gives birth to twin boys.Once the 4 infants are weened, and no longer need Quaraun alive, the wife plots to have Quaraun killed, but Quaraun, fights back, killing the wife, his 4 children, and the king, then uses their souls to resurrect BoomFuzzy as a Lich. BoomFuzzy proceeds to kill off the rest of the village.

The novel "BoomFuzzy" ends with Quaraun vowing to never again be unfaithful to BoomFuzzy and, deciding to live as a man because BoomFuzzy is gay. Quaraun is never again shown as a female in the series, though he is shown as pregnant several times throughout the series, sometimes by BoomFuzzy and other times by GhoulSpawn.Prior to the novel BoomFuzzy, Quaraun goes back and forth between being male and female, unsure which he is, because he is intersex.

BoomFuzzy is a gay man with no interest in females. The couple do not have sex for this reason. But BoomFuzzy is deeply in love with Quaraun. Quaraun is deeply in love with BoomFuzzy, and so sheds all connection to being female. Quaraun’s being intersex, is kept a secret, and he lives as a male. Quaraun and BoomFuzzy presenting themselves as a married gay couple.

The novel BoomFuzzy, took place three hundred years, prior to the time period of this collection of short stories.Meaning Quaraun and BoomFuzzy have lived together as a married gay couple, Quaraun living as a male, for three centuries.

GhoulSpawn, in the time period of this short story collection, has only lived with Quaraun and BoomFuzzy for three years.

There are scenes which states that Quaraun once had female breasts but that they were "brutally removed by rapists" and scenes which say Quaraun has a penis but "that it is a small none functioning micro penis", there are also scenes which state Quaraun is "bitchy from PMS".

Quaraun has been punished, sometimes violently, multiple times for his refusal to adhere to local dress codes of his people. This has included public beatings, which involved the entire community joining in to stone him.

Do you remember I said Quaraun's hands were crushed, crippled, and dead? His own father, did this to him, punishment for wearing pink, by crushing his hands in the millstones of the local mill-millstones weight several thousand pounds and are moved by a team of horses- we are talking a big, full sized millstone in a mill house.

There are, by the way, no more Moon Elves. The last straw came when the Moon Elves attacked Quaraun's male Faerie lover, BoomFuzzy, driving him to commit suicide, resulting in Quaraun taking up Necromancy and Blood Magic, then mass slaughtering all the Moon Elves in a gory blood bath and using their souls to resurrect his dead lover as a Lich King Unicorn. Quaraun is deemed insane by the world, because after he killed the Moon Elves and before he resurrected BoomFuzzy, he ate the Moon Elves. 

Every. 

Last. 

One.

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun, is the last surviving Elf in a world overrun by ghosts, zombies, and undead creatures. But Quaraun himself is dead, his body taken over by The Sacred Pink JellyFish, who rather than turn his body into the typical Thullid tentacle beast, has chosen to grow her stinging tentacles as glorious twelve foot long white hair. On the run for murdering his wife and four small children, he now lives as a silk weaving merchant, travelling the New England coastline in the company of his two male lovers BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, a Lich, and GhoulSpawn, a cloven-hooved, sheep legged Chaos Demon.

A zombie outbreak has destroyed the entire planet (actual zombies-dead who crawled up out of graves after a necromancer's spell went wrong)...this happened 800 years after the apocalypse happened. There are 21 billion undead vs 7 million living.

It's 1,400 years after the apocalypse happened. It happened in 2525. The apocalypse was not the zombies. They came later. The apocalypse was a natural event, of the Earth's polar caps melting, the Earth flipping, and being slung closer to the Sun, causing mass burning and melting of everything, killing most plants, animals, and people while destroying most of the buildings and roads across most of the planet. After stabilizing on its orbit again, the Earth's new orbit was farther than it originally had been, causing a semi-ice age, with most of the planet now snow covered.

Most of the survivors of the apocalypse were children and elderly, who had escaped to bunkers in the last days before the planet burned. It was a Lord of the Flies situation when Humans rose out of their bunkers to rebuild. While remains of Earth's technology remain in the ruins, there were no survivors who knew how to rebuild. There are no doctors, no scientists, no medicine, no computers, no electricity, no cars that run, nothing. 

Things like passenger jet planes and giant cruise ships lay crashed in fields, with ancient 500+ year old trees growing up through them, and no one knows what these ancient relics are or what they were once used for. No one is capable of comprehending that these giant planes once flew in the sky or that cruise ships sailed the ocean. Both are thought to be strange buildings. The Statue of Liberty is just a head sticking up out of the sand, no one knows she has a full body under the ground, and people are unaware that if they dig down deep enough, they'll find the ancient ruins of New York City underneath her. 

Boston is partly unearthed and is one of the largest dig sites. The Boston Dig Site is society's only clue to what the planet had been like before it melted. 

It's only been 1,400 years since Earth was "reborn". Enough time for forests to grow up and bury all evidence of the 20th century's lifestyle. But not enough time for humanity to rebuild past a quasi-Medieval-like level of technology. 

Aliens, known as Thullids, invaded at some point shortly before 2525 and most were killed in the burning of the planet. This is not common knowledge. But some survived. They are tiny parasitic JellyFish who crawl up noses, eat the brain, absorb the memories of the host, replace the host's nervous system with their tentacles and then walk among the living, pretending to be the host. They have a hive mind with one another, so recognize each other easily through telepathy. They are all male except one. The last female, JellyFish lives inside the body of a male necromancer. It was through the JellyFish pretending to be the necromancer after killing him, that caused the dead to rise, due to the fact that she did not know how to properly cast a resurrection spell.

There are no big cities. There are very few large towns. There are lots of small scattered villages, but each has fewer than 200 people and there are often a hundred or more miles between each village. There are no politically defined country borders. Due to the discovery of ancient 20th century maps, people use the names of countries as they existed in the 1970s, but political government structures of those countries no longer exist. For example, it is known where the 50 states in America are, but America has no president or congress and the states have no governors. 

As such, there are no large governments or organized laws. 

No established currency. The system is mostly bartering: the apple farmer trades a barrel of apples with the candle maker for new candles, that sort of thing. Each town will have some sort of leader, usually a self-proclaimed king, who makes the laws for his village. As a whole, the world is divided into lots of little settlements, clans, and tribes. About half the world's population are nomadic clans that travel the planet, gatherer/hunter style following herds of animals, moving where crops are by seasons, etc.

Though religions abound and many have found things to worship, there are no known real gods in this world. For in order for a god to truly be a god, there are requirements:

1: The being must be a true immortal. Immortal meaning they can not be harmed or injured, including they can not become sick or wounded, in any way and they can not die.

2: As an immortal, they also can not have been born. They can have no beginning and no end and must be an eternally existing being. They therefor must have existed before time began and will continue to exist after time ceases.

3: They must have powers that can not be duplicated by science or magic.

So far nothing and no one has yet been found which/whom meets these requirements. 

However, that doesn't stop various power crazed wizards, warriors, nobles, and common folk from just proclaiming themselves a god for whatever reason, or from founding a religion to worship some "invisible" (yet fictional) god that they made up just because they were on a power trip and wanted followers.

And because fearful, superstitious, uneducated, and/or desperate people can be manipulated into believing anything, if the right words or "evidences" are presented to them, this causes people to believe in (false) gods, who are really just sly/powerful/cunning/manipulative chatelaines getting off on a power trip. 

Many claim The Pink Necromancer to be a god, for he destroyed the world with nothing more than uttering "I wish..." And The Cult of The Sacred Pink JellyFish rose up to worship him. Their leader ZooLock, the octopus headed priest, spends much of his life in search of Quaraun, while Quaraun spends just as much of his life, keeping his distance from ZooLock and his cultists.

Quaraun himself believes the Moon to be a Goddess and worships her with undying devotion, in spite of many evidences that the moon is nothing more than a big rock floating in space.

So as of yet there are no actual real gods, but there are people who claim to be gods or who claim someone else to be a god, thus there are lots of religions, each of which worships different things, depending on who founded the religion and why.

There are no heavily populated areas.

There are no big cities.

There are no capital cities.

Most small towns don't even have names.

No one uses money.

Anarchy rules. 

Everyone has something they grow or make, and whatever that something is, they trade it with others for things they need.

If you have no trade, you have no ability to get what you need to survive. 

Quaraun is a silk weaver. Not the shiny, glossy, satin type silk, but the homespun, slub filled, thick, heavy raw silk that resembles thick wool, but is incredibly soft, and keeps you warm in the winter and cool in the summer, so is highly sought after for clothes. He is a merchant, so he moves from town to town, bringing supplies with him to people who can't get stuff otherwise. He trades his silk goods for other items, then takes those items to a town in need of them to trade for more items needed in other villages. 

Well, Quaraun is a silk weaver and glass blower in addition to being a mage for hire, so whenever he needs food, he will find a family with a young daughter and ask to eat supper with them in exchange for giving the girl a silk shawl or a silk scarf or embroidered silk slippers or fancy glass genie bottle or a necklace made of braided silk ribbons and blown glass beads. Silk is very rare and highly valued, and most families would view such an item as making their daughter more eligible for marriage, so few ever turn him away with an offer like this.

Quaraun uses currency when people demand it, but usually he can get most everything he needs by trading his silk and blown glass items. 

If Quaraun needs a place to sleep for the night, he will find a horse stable and offer to curry the horses for being allowed to sleep in the hay.

If he can find no place to barter for sleeping quarters, Quaraun carries with him a bag of holding. A tiny pink beaded silk, heart-shaped coin purse. Inside of it is a tent, and his wardrobe, and his books, and his weaving looms, and everything else he owns, which is a lot, for Quaraun was once a king, before the apocalypse happened, and everything he had in his palace, he now carries inside this tiny coin purse. 

This is how Quaraun lives. 

This is the way "money" functions in this world. Bartering and trading. No coins or paper bills. Not anymore.

But Quaraun is an elderly man, an Elf, with failing memory and a resistance to change, and would rather barter than carry coinage. Quaraun is a travelling mage/merchant and ends up travelling long distances across multiple countries, including across oceans to other continents, plus he's a nonHuman, an Elf, around 750 years old. So, he has coins and other currency from lots of places, and lots of times, but being elderly and having a failing memory, he can never remember the exact names of currency type of which region/country each type comes from. But then he can't remember the various names of each coin, nor can he remember which coins to use in which countries. He ends up having lots of coins made out of various materials: gold, silver, copper, tin, bronze, platinum, pewter, glass, gemstones (jade, turquoise, rose quartz, amethyst, etc), bones, shells, carved wood, etc. 

Quaraun ends up carrying some of each of everything on him, because he's never certain which ones to use it, which places.

Because Quaraun can't remember the names of the currencies or which regions he got the coinage from, so, when he speaks about currency, he speaks in terms of the material it's made out of regardless of what the correct name is-thus he says: Gold coin, gold bar, silver coin, copper coin, brass coin, nickel coin, jade coins, string of coins, wooden coins, cowrie shell, moon snails, clam shells, glass beads, seed beads, fur pelt (fox, beaver, bear, mink, marten, rabbit, etc), wood chips, quartz crystal, amber, citrine, paper notes, pearls, opals, gemstone chips (turquoise, jade, peridot, etc), silk threads, silk ribbons, silk scarves, silkworm cocoons, bags of rice, glass globs, marbles... are all things characters have used.

The world is mostly destroyed. 

Civilization is decimated. 

There are no big governments and no countries anymore, because most of society is scattered into small tribes and clans. The world was once a high tech future state, but it's not in near medieval state due to a mass apocalypse. As such, more often then not, currency consists of whatever local regional item is readily available, rather then minted coinage. 

Minted coins are usually antique relics of civilizations past. 

Most villages have their own currency system, unique only to their village, for example: a village on coastal salt flats, may use clam shells as currency, while a village near a volcano may use lumps of lava rock as currency.

A lot of places don't use currency, rather trade goods, so a man who needs a plow for his garden, might trade a bag of apples from his orchard for it, while a woman who needs flour to cook with might trade milk from her cow for it. 

If you were to cross paths with Quaraun, and ask for, say, a cup of tea, he'd likely invite you into his tent and serve you tea without asking anything in exchange, other then that you spend an hour conversing with him.

On the other hand, should Quaraun end up at your shop looking to buy a cup of tea, he'd probably argue with you if you gave him a dollar amount. He'd likely just hand you a gold or silver coin from his purse, and who knows from what region or government it'll be from. Depending on where you are and your personality, you might just take it because you realize that it's real gold and this single coin is more money than you'll make in a year and you can melt it down and exchange it from some money lender or pawn shop. If you are a more honest person, you'll tell Quaraun that it is way too much money and hand it back to him saying you won't accept it. And he'll argue that he won't take it back for he has more than he needs. And indeed he does, for Quaraun owns a dragon. And not just any dragon, by The Black Dragon of Fire Mountain.

Quaraun came to realize that humans like gold, so he strives to keep at least 10 gold coins on him at all times, and whenever he gets in a haggling war with someone over an item, he can usually pull out a gold coin and hand it to them, and they just take the coin, because gold is very rare and usually highly sought after by most greedy humans.

However, because the world is in a decimated state, most common people would rather have useful items than currency. Thus a fur pelt which can be made into a blanket, or a bag of wheat flour that can be used to make bread, or a box of candles that can be used to light a room, may in fact be seen as more valuable than gold coins, due to the fact that one can not eat gold or keep warm with it.

Weapons too are valuable commodity.

Pretty much everyone carries a weapon. 

But guns are very rare and so not many people are even aware what a gun is, and the few who do know about guns are also the only few who own them.

Weapons are mostly blades or bolts. And weapons are largely designed for hunting food or fighting undead.

Weapons of war exist but are rare due to the living are usually too busy worrying about the Undead, to have time to think about warring with other groups of living.

Settled villages are rare and the ones that exist are walled in to keep out undead. Humanity is mostly nomadic groups of less than one hundred people per group, travelling the globe, always on the move, always trying to stay ahead of the constantly moving massive hordes of undead.

When I say zombies, I mean ACTUAL zombies.

There was no sickness. 

There was no disease. 

There was no virus. 

There was no fungi.

There was no science lab releasing bio warfare monsters.

There was only Quaraun, a necromancer, who was trying to resurrect his dead lover, and botched the spell, turning the soil of the earth into essentially a magic potion that reanimated corpses.

Anyone and everyone at any point in history who ever once lived, died, and was buried in the earth…if their body has not yet turned to ash/dust, even if reduced to only bones, they have clawed their way out of the ground and walk along the undead.

Jesus is a zombie that gets seen from time to time, as is Napoleon, Joseph Smith, and every other famous and not famous person in history.

And not just people. 

It reanimated dead plants, dead insects, dead birds, dead animals, dead trees, dead fish. Everything. Even things like germs, bacteria, and ancient dinosaur fossils.

Entire dead wood forests roam the Earth. The Forest of No Return terrorizes the world, as its giant hundred foot tall trees march their way across the planet.

Lethal rose gardens of undead thorn filled vines strangle travellers. 

Flocks of skeletal undead hummingbirds peck people's eyes out.

Herds of undead horses gallop across what used to be the American midWest.

The dead rise up from their graves and march across the planet.

The most terrifying undead creatures of all are the JellyFish who rose up out of the ocean, crawled up the nostrils of the living, ate their brains, then live wearing the body like a coat. These JellyFish pod people don't rot like other zombies and blend in with the living.

People whose dead body had already reverted to dust or ash, returned incorporeal, as various types of ghosts, wraiths, and liches.

This is a world where things like suicide are worse then living, because you'll return to life in a few days, and be worse off than before.

No one stays dead.

Chopping up the dead doesn't kill them. It just leaves disembodied hands clawing their way across the ground, alive with a live of their own, that defies all medical logic.

Shooting brains doesn't keep them down. You just end up headless horsemen galloping through the night.

The dead defy all physical logic, because a necromancer's curse causes them to just keep getting back up no matter what you do to them.

And because of the Undead, there are no laws banning or restricting weapons, even among groups large enough to have created laws.

There are 21 billion undead vs 7 million living, the world is heavily overpopulated with undead and Humanity is on the brink of extinction. 

Settlements and villages are few and far between, so the bulk of society do not have permanent home structures. But most people have weapons on them.

Mostly bladed weapons, knives and daggers and the like. Big switch blades are common as they are useful tools for everyday cutting and eating, but can become an effective weapon when needed as well.

Long wooden staffs are common as you can use them to push undead away, and knock the undead down, and if made of thick sturdy wood, you can beat the attacker and break his legs. Most types of the undead can not heal, so broken legs mean it now crawls instead of walks and it becomes less dangerous. 

Long metal staffs made of ancient lead pipes are common for weapons as they can do a lot of damage fast.

Machetes are extremely common, as they are an everyday tool that can double as a weapon.

When I say most people carry weapons, that includes men and women as well as elderly and children.

Mages exist, but are extremely rare. So magic is sometimes a weapon as well, but not often. Most people know of magic, but magic is a difficult mystery to master and takes decades to become proficient in, so all the mages are very ancient, elderly. There is no such thing as young/child/teen/young adult wizards in this world. Magic powers aren't something you are born with. And super powers are not a thing. Magic is manipulation of nature/spirit/psychic energies and involves a lot of ritual chants, drawing symbols, and preparing herbs.

Most of the mages who are proficient enough in magic to use it as a weapon, however, don't. Magic is seen as a useful tool to help with everyday life things, such as using magic to boil a pot of tea without having to start a campfire, or using magic to have brooms sweep the floor by themselves. 

While magic CAN and sometimes is used for fighting/weapons, it is impractical to do so, as spell casting isn't BOOM instant. Spells have to be pre-prepared, and casting involves drawing ritual symbols in the ground, sacred circles, etc. Magic is very granny magic with herbs meets ceremonial Wiccan rituals, type of magic. In a fight situation, there is usually only seconds to survive so you need to immediately grab a knife or sword or staff, you can't spend an hour drawing and chanting and boiling herbs. So magic as a weapon is almost unheard of.

No Human practices magic, for magic takes centuries to learn. So all mages are Elves or Faeries or Demons. And largely insane. Centuries of isolation to learn their crafts, causes mages to lose touch with social graces and the norms of society. Eccentric in their habits, bizarre in the dress, outlandish in their speech, mages are seen as mad men, to be shunned and avoided.

Soldiers and some people who fancy themselves warriors often carry various types of swords, sabres, or machetes. Most bands of survivors just use ancient junkyard items to make armour and weapons, so, pretty much anything could end up being used to construct a makeshift weapon.

Laws are often non-existent. Small groups rise up and try to form governments, but they never gain more than 200 or 300 followers, so there are no "countries" or large political government structures on Earth anymore.

The closet thing the world has to organize justice is Finderu and his Justice Mages. Or Harrier and Checka and their infamous White Rock Asylum for the Criminally Insane. Finderu made laws governing magic, and trained up a renegade group of sadistic mage deputies to enforce them. And Checka invented a new form of Fairy Iron, one capable of binding not only Faeries, but mages, undead, and Liches as well.

But most feared, of all rulers, is Dr. Dameon. A mysterious bird-man, rumoured to be twelve feet tall, and more Vulture than Man. He lives in the Golden Palace, that floats in the clouds high above the deadly Mushroom Forest, where caterpillars the size of blue whales, gobble up the tyrannosaurus rex like it was a harmless bunny rabbit.

The world is a lawless wasteland, made up of lots of little bands/clans/tribes/groups, each with whatever laws they self made. 

Places which have laws are ruled by self proclaimed "kings" who happened to be ruthless enough to terrorize people into following them. Most kings are ego driven megalomaniac dictators.

GhoulSpawn, the cloven hooved sheep-Demon, arrived here from the 1970s and Quaraun tells him, it is the 1400's. But Quaraun's "the 1400s" but it's not the Mediaeval 1400s. Instead, it's 1,400 years after the apocalypse occurred, on earth, in the year 2525. So by GhoulSpawn's calendar, the year is some point after 3925   about 2,000 years in the future of GhoulSpawn's 1970s and not the past as GhoulSpawn believes.

By 2525, there were 21 billion people on earth. During the apocalypse, all but 7 million died and became zombies. 

Due to the world being infested by billions of undead, the population has not increased at a normal expected rate, and is still around 7 million people even now 1,400 after the apocalypse happened.

Well, this means things like doctors, factory workers, computer builders, auto mechanics, technicians, etc all died out. And so technology died as well. Cars stopped being used because there was no one to build new ones and no one to repair old ones. Computers and phones stopped being used because no one left alive knew how to build new ones. Guns faded out of use because eventually they stopped working from old age and there was no one left alive who knew how to manufacture more.

My main character is The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun, who is the court mage and husband of King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy, King of The UnSeelie Court.

Married for decades, they share a kind, loving relationship.

Though they sometimes argue and often bicker, they live by the rule "never let the sun rest on anger" and are quick to apologize, quick to kiss and make up.

They are often seen laughing, hugging, kissing, and dancing.

They deeply love each other and proudly, openly, dote on each other without shame or fear.

They hug and kiss in public and they don't care who sees them.

Due to the vibes I choose to write, they rarely encounter bigots or haters, but when they do, they stand their ground, they don't back down and they don't let anyone bully them.

Stories and poems prominently feature the two of them doing things together, enjoying each other's company.

The overall vibe is uplifting, cozy, comforting, cheerful, and focused on showing a gay couple enjoying a warm, pleasant life together.

It being 1,400 years since the planet was decimated, also means there are no cities…places like New York, Paris, Tokyo, Boston, are buried under centuries of erosion and massive forests have grown over the tops of them. Nature has taken back the planet and most cities are completely forgotten as though they never existed, so scavenging and finding weapons is not going to happen. It's the very distinct future that has reverted back to the Dark Ages, but random spots of 21st century tech show up from time to time. Boston is a huge archaeological dig site. Any guns any one has, would be over a thousand years old and would likely have been dug up as ancient artefacts, of ancient lost civilization of 20th century man, from the Boston Dig Site. Bands of children being all that survived, so there were no adults to teach how to do anything. And not their great-great-grandchildren are the population.

Serial killer, time traveller, builder of the Twighlight Manor, destroyer of the universe. . .. These are the Adventures of Quaraun the Insane.

Quaraun & BoomFuzzy: The Ultimate Power Couple

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy complement each other. But had it not been for the comet strike, they might never have come together.

The comet strike happened nearly a thousand years ago. It happened centuries before Quaraun was born. Quaraun doesn't remember the world before the comet strike. BoomFuzzy is twice Quaraun’s age and the comet strike happened when he was a small child. It is a struggle to find a city that is not buried a mile or more under giant old growth forests of thousand year old trees.

GhoulSpawn often compared this era of the world to being like Planet of the Apes... if they find ruins of a city, it's like when Charlton Heston sees the very top of the Statue of Liberty head sticking out of the sand and he realizes he's still on Earth but so many thousands of years in the future that hundreds of feet of sediment buries all ruins and nature has reclaimed the planet. And survivor groups are like Beneath Planet of the Apes, living miles below the surface, in the tunnels of what used to be cities on the surface, but are now buried by time.

GhoulSpawn, trapped here, from 1978, often compared the 40th century to the Sci-Fi movies he had so loved watching in the 1960s and 1960s.

Quaraun is disabled. It is not arrogance causing him to demand servants. Quaraun is severely handicapped and requires a shit ton load of nursing care and help, his 37 handmaids have to dress him and bath him and brush his hair and do the housework and raise his children because Quaraun is physically incapable of doing it himself. His crippled hands, his lame leg, his arthritic joints, and his weak heart make his heavily reliant on others to help him in doing even the most simple daily tasks that an able bodied person would take for granted.

Quaraun is not a spoiled noble. He is a severely disabled, physically fragile man whose continued survival depends on an entire network of support. His 37 handmaids aren’t luxury—they are necessity. Quaraun requires full-time nursing care because his body simply cannot function without it. His prosthetic hands are not tools of strength but reminders of the trauma he’s endured. His leg is not “injured”—it is permanently lame. His joints ache, seize, fail him. His heart could give out at any moment.

Everything around him—from the servants to the silky pink robes to the luxury of the UnSeelie Court—is not decadence. It is accommodation. It is survival in a frozen hellscape.

Quaraun owns a huge homestead of thousands of acres of orchard, vineyards, fields of grain, and a massive 500 acre BioDome in which they raise sheep, yaks, chickens, tussah months, vegetables, and fruits. The BioDome is powered by hundreds of acres of glass forest, the massive glass trees acting as a system that collects rare beams of sunlight into an energy system that runs the BioDome.

BoomFuzzy? He is not some wandering chef with flair and fire. He is the King of the Planet. That is not self-declared, not romanticised, not poetic licence. BoomFuzzy owns the land, the means of food production, the last source of sustainable agriculture left in a dead, frozen world. His BioDome is the literal and figurative heart of the planet. He feeds the last remnants of life. Every merchant, pirate, scavenger, or warlord either obeys BoomFuzzy or starves. There is no alternative.

BoomFuzzy has the street smarts and cunning thinking, strategic planning skills, to run a government. Quaraun has the finances to see that BoomFuzzy’s politics can be enforced. Quaraun lacks the intelligence or strength to run a government. BoomFuzzy lacks the funds to enforce his rule. Likewise BoomFuzzy knows the food and farming and culinary industry expertly enough to size full control of it from every angle, forcing people to have to rely on him for food supplies or starve... think very much a mob gangster taking control of all the world's food supplies to force people into submission to his rule.

Meanwhile Quaraun has this same skill in the industry of cloth, fabric, clothing, blankets, and retail merchandising. Allowing Quaraun to completely corner the market on coats, cloths, blankets, anything people need to stay warm in the ice age. Again further forcing people into submission to BoomFuzzy’s rule.

Quaraun is a transman, but not by choice.

There are 21 billion zombies; only 7 million male Humans; and only a thousand females of ALL RACES COMBINED on the entire planet.

Settlements are small. Rarely more then a dozen to two dozen people. Even The GodForsaken City – the largest city on the planet-has only a little over a hundred people living in it. And there are hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles between each settlement.

As there is no infrastructure, people travel on foot, and it can day weeks to walk between one settlement to the next.

It takes three YEARS to walk from Maine to Florida. A distance that in the 20th century, could be travelled in only 2 days by car. But there are no roads in the year 3999. No cars. No governments. No gas. The UnSeelie Court have the ONLY cars still running. Old cars from the 1960s and 1970s, that they have fitted with AI powered tech, that runs on the blue comet crystals that rain down during thunderstorms.

People can live their entire lives never seeing a female or a child.

Men are known to go batshit crazy psycho killer on any settlement found to have a female in it.

Females do not go out in public.

Females live in hiding.

Females pass themselves off as men if they do go out in public.

That Quaraun lives a very public life and is a world leader, is something he, a female, could only do, by publicly being a man.

Females cower in the shadows, living in mortal terror of men.

Quaraun, lives as a man, and is out in the public eye, and has every last Human male on the planet living in mortal terror of him.

There is no one, no where on this planet who has not heard of The Pink Necromancer and his Lich The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley.

They are the ultimate power couple, forged not of heroism but mutually aligned villainy, cold calculation, and ruthless survivalism. Not comic book supervillains cackling in towers, no. These two are brutal, systemic tyrants, who rose from trauma and blood to grind the crumbling world beneath their booted heels—not for fame or glory, but because no one else could.

The only city in Quaraun’s era is The GodForsaken City at the Boston Dig Site. Quaraun has hired archeologists to mine below the surface to try to reach Boston and bring up books from Boston's libraries and art from Boston's museums. The GodForsaken City is built on the surface, and is a hub of black market merchants, pirates, bandits, and workers hired by the archeologists. It's like how people in real world dig up tombs in Egypt or Pompi to try to understand how ancient civilizations were. 20th century Boston is an ancient lost civilization. Quaraun’s world is the 40th century. They have no knowledge of the 29th century at all. The only things Quaraun’s era know about ancient Humans is what they find in the Boston Dig Site below the GodForsaken City.

They don’t rule with swords or guns.

They rule with bread. With coats. With comfort.

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy don’t scavenge. They aren’t desperate. They own the supply chains. They built them. GhoulSpawn maintains them. And the UnSeelie Court lives in insulated, bio-engineered, solar-fusion-fed stability while the outside world rots.

And yes—this isn’t arrogance. This isn’t extravagance. It’s survival, but it’s also a massive, monumental feat of science, organization, and control. What they have built is empire. An empire rooted in necessity, crafted from ice and blood and centuries of horror, but no less real than the dynasties of old.
BoomFuzzy, the mob kingpin of agriculture, hoarding seeds like gold, commanding caravans of famine-starved wanderers, deciding which camps eat and which burn.

Every crust of bread, every crumb of pie, every drop of soup, bears his mark. You either pay his price or you don’t eat. The Screaming Unicorn doesn’t do mercy. He’ll laugh in your face, hand you a food voucher, then set fire to your barn if you question his terms.

Meanwhile, Quaraun is the cold silk spider in his pink tower, weaving the planet in threads both literal and political. He may be delicate. He may need to be dressed by handmaids and cradled by servants. But his ledger books bind kings in chains. He owns the last working looms. The last mills. The last dye vats. Every coat that shields a shivering back from the screaming wind is stitched under his banner. Every winter is his army.

Together, they run the world.

BoomFuzzy decides who lives.

Quaraun decides who freezes.

These are two evil supervillains whom have joined forces to take over the entire planet. By controlling the entire infrastructure of food and clothing, they have forced the entire planet to its knees, in an already apocalyptic world where people were already struggling.

And their strength is in how perfectly they complete each other. BoomFuzzy is brutal, crude, cunning, iron-fisted—but his people adore him because he feeds them. Quaraun is ethereal, neurotic, intellectually fragile—but the planet is wrapped in his fabric.

They make and grew everything themselves. The UnSeelie Court lives in the lap of luxury. They are not scavage to survive. This is why Quaraun has the literal monopoly on cloth production and BoomFuzzy has the literal monopoly on food production. BoomFuzzy is literally the King of the Planet. This is the actual fucking King of the Planet, the monarch who has full control of the world. Because they own this BioDome.

Neither could conquer the world alone. Together? They own it.

And yes—their methods are evil. Deliberately. Bluntly. Proudly. They saw the chaos of the comet, the collapse of the world, and didn’t flinch. Where others mourned, they built empires. Where others died, they tightened their grip.

This isn’t post-apocalyptic kindness. This is post-apocalyptic dominion. And anyone who wants to survive in this Ice Age hell better fall in line—because you either eat BoomFuzzy’s food and wear Quaraun’s silk, or you die screaming in the snow.

This is not post-apocalyptic survival horror. This is post-extinction aristocracy, where those few with the power to build systems of sustainability are literally gods among the ruins of ancient humanity. And Quaraun—delicate, dependent, and tragically beautiful—is at the centre of that empire. Not because of power—but because he is loved, he is cared for, and because BoomFuzzy would murder the world to keep him safe.

Links To The Quaraun Stories Can Be Found Listed Here

CONTEXT NOTE: It is the year 3999 — Quaraun is the last Moon Elf, and possibly the last Elf of any type, left on Planet Vesonta, after two apocalypses wiped out the planet.

• The first — a comet hit the moon, fracturing the moon, filling the atmosphere with comet dust and moon dust, blocking out the sun, and shifting the planet’s orbit, causing a “snowball earth” ice age to occur. Where shards of the shattered comet hit the earth, huge Crystal Forests grew up, causing The Crystal Plague, giving rise to magic and mages who use the crystals to power their spells. Only seven million people were known to have survived. Of those seven million, fewer than one thousand were female.
• The second — forced to live as men or be hunted by men, females went into hiding, disguised as men. One such female, a Moon Elf name Quaraun, was outed by a gang of men, who cut off her hands and publicly gang raped by the entire town while her husband was murdered. Enraged she swore vengeance on the entire planet, turning to Necromancy, she resurrected her husband as a Lich, and then used the same spell to summon all dead things: people, animals, plants, trees — — to rise up and wage war on rapists. Ushering in the zombie apocalypse.
• Twenty-one Billion UnDead move in mass herds across the earth, controlled by the Necromancer and the Lich, and hunting down all rapists among the seven million survivors.
• Now with gold plated prosthetic hands, known as The Pink Necromancer and once again living as a man, Quaraun and his now Lich husband, wander the 40th century zombie infested ice age wasteland that is all that remains of earth.
• These are The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane.

The Pink Necromancer, Moon Elf silk weaver & merchant: Quaraun on Noodle Beach. His master chef Phooka turned Lich husband: BoomFuzzy with his 1968 VW Bus Beach Noodle Food Truck. And their on again/off again mad scientist Sheep Demon lover: GhoulSpawn with his 1974 AMC Gremlin time machine. Time Travel setting swings back and forth between 40th century Maine after a comet hit the moon decimating the planet, and the 1970s, Maine. Quaraun in the main character, he and BoomFuzzy are a married gay couple. GhoulSpawn is their shared live-in lover. Art by Wendy Christine Allen.

BoomFuzzy

Quaraun

What type of author are you?

Since 1978, I have published 138 novels, 423 novellas, 500+ poems, and 3,000+ short stories all for a single series, that readers have dubbed "The Twighlight Manor series", "The Pink Necromancer series", or "The Quaraun series" depending on which reader you ask, but is actually titled "The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane".

And yes, that number is correct, there ARE over FOUR THOUSAND published stories in the series, and in total more then TEN MILLION copies have been sold, but that number is not as "big" as it sounds, when you consider that 10,000,00/4,000 = 2,500... meaning MOST titles in the series have sold FEWER then just TWO THOUSAND copies.

Yeah.

It is NOT ten million copies of a single title. It's a lot of titles selling only a few hundred copies per title.

Meaning, that while the series in total has sold more copies then many New York Times bestsellers, each title individually has sold so few copies that chances are really high you've never heard of the series at all, especially considering that nearly 27k (twenty seven thousand) of the series most die hard fans/readers live fewer then just FOURTEEN MILES away from me, I've meet MOST of them face to face, and over 80% of the volumes sold were sold locally at festivals like La Kermesse, Moxie Festival, Oxford Fair, Saco Farmer's Market, and Yarmouth Clam festival, with only twenty two of the over four thousand volumes ever been made available online or as ebooks, and those 22 being the only volumes to been issued ISNBs.

If you live outside of a seven mile radius of Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, Sanford, or Scarborough, Maine, you likely have never heard of me or my books at all, because I do not sell them any where else.

I am a Yaoi author. I write the Yaoi genre.

And a surprising amount of people show up on my website not knowing what Yaoi is.

Yaoi is a subgenre of the Gay Romance genre.

Yaoi is also a subgenre of the Fantasy Genre.

And Yaoi is part of a genre, you've probably heard only existed in the darkest deep dark corners of the dark web: The Fury Genre.

Yes. I write The Gay Fury Genre.

Specifically I write MPreg Yaoi aka Gay Romance, featuring men who are half animal, and get pregnant.

Welcome to the genre your preacher warned you about.

But as I said, a surprising amount of people arrive at my site, not knowing I'm a Yaoi author, not knowing what Yaoi is, and then a few days later show up in my driveway to yell at me and my family in person, because, hey, that what stalker creeps do, when they find out gay people exit in fiction novels and it gets their panties in a knot.

But... given the reoccurring trend of this happening: let's get one thing out of the way up front, right now:

The fact that I write Yaoi, means that I write about penises... A LOT.

I write about penises so much, that the number one keyword that Google has declared sends more traffic to my site, then any other keyword is: "small penis".

That means the phrase "small penis" appears enough times on my website, for Google to place my website as the number one site it recommend when someone types into Google "small penis".

Why?

I write Yaoi.

And this website has 20k, yes twenty thousand, pages of 138 novels, 423 novellas, 500+ poems, and 3k+ short stories of a single Yaoi series. While it is Yaoi, is very tame Yaoi and so there have only ever been 16 sex scenes written for the series, but just because you don't see the sex happen on the page, doesn't mean they ain't talking about it. And...

...my main character is a hermaphrodite, so he has both a penis and a vagina, he's an Elf/JellyFish hybrid, so he changes gender from male to female or female to male every few years, because that's what jellyfish do.

...his husband is a hypersexual double-dicked Unicorn, who likes to call himseld "the horny unicorny", and spends an inordinate amount of time talking about the fact that he has two penises.

Here's a quick run down of the main characters, there's a bigger run down further down this page and entire sections of this website devoted to more lore and details about them:

Meet The Three Wizards

Because the most common questions for readers to ask is what biological gender is Quaraun born as, and who is having sex with who (given that the series does not contain sex scenes), let’s just answer that question and get it out of the way.

Quaraun aka The Pink Necromancer:

Art by Wendy Christine Allen

Quaraun aka The Pink Necromancer: The F2M transgender Persian Moon Elf main character: The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane, wearing his pink robes of Moon Goddess worship. F2M for those unaware = Quaraun was biologically born female, but transitioned to live as a male-sort of; this is why there are stories where Quaraun is sometimes pregnant, in spite of being male and using he/him male pronouns.

Quaraun has BOTH a vagina AND a set of penis and balls, as well as having a uterus and ovaries. He at one point had large female breasts, but those were cut up and mutilated by his transphobic father. He was raised as a daughter, but went back and forth between presenting as sometimes male and sometimes female, himself deeply confused as to which he should be as, being intersex, he was therefore neither male nor female.

Quaraun is shown throughout the series with both male and female lovers, and he has both given birth to children as well as fathered children in others.

Quaraun is a Necromancer by the actual dictionary definition of the word, meaning he is a psychic medium who sees and hears ghosts, and uses tarot, spirit boards, and seances to communicate with the dead. By profession he is a silk weaver/tailor/silk merchant. Quaraun is an Elder God JellyFish who takes the form of an Elf to blend in with society. His 12 foot long hair is made out of venomous, stinging jellyfish tentacles. Quaraun is BoomFuzzy's apprentice and regarded as the world's most powerful still living wizard. Quaraun's exact age is unknown, but he is somewhere around 750 years old. In his SunTa form he is twelve thousand years old. The Scared Pink JellyFish that lives in him, is stated to being over two million years old.

Quaraun is a transman who wears boob bindings, but also has had a forced against his will double mastectomy as a form of punishment, in his youth which heavily contributed to his becoming transgender transitioning to become a man.

Quaraun was the youngest child of a deranged Seelie Court Elf king who had all daughters and wanted a son.

It is said throughout the series that Quaraun was twins who fused into one body in the womb, as his hermaphrodite body is not the normal state of being for Elves. His father was an evil Elf whom murdered his mother and violently abused Quaraun throughout his youth. As a result of these abuses, Quaraun reached adulthood with his body badly mutilated, most notably that his female breasts are slashed to the point of resembling a botched mastectomy, while his penis is split in two lengthwise, the split being "repaired" by the use of dozens of gold ring piercings. Because of these injuries Quaraun introduces himself to strangers as "a eunuch ", when asked if he is male or female, because he is both and neither.

Quaraun is a frail, flighty, rabbity, easily frightened, easily flustered, easily frustrated, and easily annoyed, pure blooded Moon Elf. He tries to maintain dignity and prim, pernickety, proper grammar, refuses to use contractions, and is highly prone to using big, outdated words because he finds comfort in saying them outloud. Quaraun uses Flowery Language and big words. Quaraun knows very many big words and he is not afraid to use them. 

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are a deeply devoted, madly in love, endlessly obsessed with each other elderly married couple, whom have been together for centuries. They are constantly hugging and kissing, holding hands, touching, cuddling. They kiss in public. They are all over each other. Humans find their public displays of affection scandalous.

Quaraun hates Humans. BoomFuzzy also hates Humans. Faeries and Elves protect nature. Humans are the enemy because Humans destroy nature. BoomFuzzy Is the King of The UnSeelie Court. These malevolent tricksters take feral delight in deadly pranks. Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are the most evil super villains the world has ever known, so say the Humans. But BoomFuzzy and Quaraun see the Humans as evil and view themselves as the heroes saving nature from the Humans.

Quaraun was born intersex, having both male and female genitals, and is able to both father children in others and give birth to children himself. Quaraun was also born with several severe mental disorders, as well as generally being presumed to have low-functioning autism.

As a teenager, Quaraun was identifying as a female and was one of the favourite princesses of the Elf's royal court.

When Quaraun attracted the romantic attention of the UnSeelie Court Faerie King, her father, infuriated, cut off her breasts and mutilated her vagina, in a brutal attempt to force his intersex child to become his son. When Quaraun tried to fight back to defend himself, his father crushed his hands in the grinding wheel of a millstone, which is why Quaraun now has metal prosthetic hands.

Quaraun left The Seelie Court, joined forces with the UnSeelie Court, and continued wearing the royal pink gowns of a Seelie Elven princess, but took to binding his mutilated breasts, using male pronouns and identify as a male, and went on to marry the UnSeelie Court Faerie King becoming his court mage.

This caused further gender identity issues, as the UnSeelie King was himself a gay male, married to another male, and upon marrying Quaraun, thought Quaraun to be biologically male.

It is stated in the novels that for the first thirty years of their marriage BoomFuzzy refused to have sex with Quaraun, because Quaraun biologically looked more female, having a “too small” of a penis, and appearing more biologically female.

The first three decades of Quaraun’s marriage to BoomFuzzy were rocky due to BoomFuzzy’s being a gay man and Quaraun being a transman, and BoomFuzzy’s refusal to have sex with anyone possessing a vagina.

All of that information can be found in the novels.

Many of the stories in this collection are elderly Quaraun, now many centuries later, reflecting on this event from his youth.

By the time of the current era in the series timeline, BoomFuzzy has become accepting of Quaraun’s hermaphrodite body, with the two now sharing a sexually active relationship, though it is still stated that they only have anal sex as BoomFuzzy has a deep aversion to vaginas.

Quaraun, BoomFuzzy, and GhoulSpawn all three sleep in the same bed together, and all of them are uncut/not circumscribed (yes, readers keep asking me that one too.) There is no “top/bottom” dynamics, as it’s all just whomever wants to have sex does, however they want, and more often then not it’s three-way with Quaraun bottom to both BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn at the same time.

Stories about Quaraun are usually set in the era between him being 750 to 800 years old, as this was the time period GhoulSpawn lived with him. GhoulSpawn only lived with Quaraun for a space of around thirty years. This is the era when Quaraun was still identifying as male, but was beginning to dress far more female, due to his growing obsession with Moon Goddess worship. This era was the early stages of his religious tyranny which would lead to his later decent into insanity and eventually crowning himself as The Grand High Emperor of The Triple Planets and renaming himself SunTa – God of the Sun.

There you go. Now you all don’t have to ask anymore.

King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn:

King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn: Quaraun's husband, BoomFuzzy aka King Gwallmaiic, a Scottish Phooka, who is King of The UnSeelie Court.

Even though Quaraun is the main character, BoomFuzzy is the character who gets the most page time, and some readers have said it feels more like BoomFuzzy is the main character.

This is because the series is written in 3rd person limited point of view, from Quaraun's perspective.

What this ,means is the reader ONLY sees and hears what Quaraun sees and hears.

Unlike 3rd omni point of view, where the reader sees and hears everything going on in the room, in the city, in the world, even gets told world history... in 3rd limited, readers only see the events happening within a few feet of the main character and ONLY IF the main character happens to notice them. When it comes to lore and world history and worldbuilding, the reader only knows information the main character knows.

In the Quaraun series, Quaraun is the 3rd limited point of view the reader gets, and Quaraun is deeply, madly, obsessively in love with and devoted to his beloved husband BoomFuzzy. And the two of them have a very "joined at the hip" type of relationship where one is rarely more then a few feet away from the other. They do everything together. And so, yes, this does put BoomFuzzy front and centre and nearly main character himself, in most stories, as it is BoomFuzzy that Quaraun is seeing and hearing most of the time.

Because main character Quaraun's thoughts and focus are always on BoomFuzzy, BoomFuzzy is in fact the character readers are going to see on the page and be interacting with most of all, and for many readers who are going to be more familiar with the more common 3rd omni style of writing, it is going to seem to them like BoomFuzzy and not Quaraun is the main character.

BoomFuzzy is a Faerie Chef who became King of first The UnSeelie Court, later King of the Realm of Fae, went on to become King of Scotland, next became King of Persia, then King of Canada, and next King of America, and with in the space of around only a decade, quickly became King of the Planet, a position he has held for two thousand years, and is still holding at the time of the series era.

King Gwallmaiic, aka BoomFuzzy, is a Master Chef owner of a restaurant empire, who for centuries was quite content to cook and bake and pose for magazine shoots. He owned dozens of resturtuants, and had a TV cooking show, and was for many years the rockstar of celebrity chefs. And then the apocalypse happened, chaos decended on the planet, world governments colapsed, and the dead were crawling up out of graves. Every one from Zombie Jesus to Zombie Hitler now roam the planet in search of brains, and all political boundaries everywhere simply disappeared as few in government survived and those that did fleed.

When shit hit the fan, the end result was twenty one billion zombies and only seven million living worldwide. Bandits, gangs, mobs, and tribe rule took over what was left of society, and half crazed Human gangs simply took to attacking any group they found. BoomFuzzy's family was butched early on in the start of the mob rule days, and it made him mean, and he not only fought back, he gathered up other Faeries and built the psychopunk steampunk army known as The UnSeelie Court, crowning himself their king, BoomFuzzy and his followers became the most feared gang on the planet, and marched their way across the planet taking over what was left of each government until he had reached the point of being "King of the World".

Along the way he added Moon Elf Quaraun as his royal court mage. Quaraun, not yet a necromancer, uncovered the mutiny plot by BoomFuzzy's husband and second in command Gibedon the Great, and went on the kill Gibedon, before Gibedon could kill the king. But not before Gibedon had near mortally wounded BoomFuzzy. Heartbroken by Gibedon's betrayal BoomFuzzy, and not realizing Quaraun was in love with him, refused medical attention for his wounds and commit suicide the first time Quaraun left him alone.

Devastated by BoomFuzzy's death and horrified by the world's reaction of making holidays to celebrate his defeat, Quaraun became a necromancer, and brought BoomFuzzy back as a Lich.

The Lich spells has to constantly renewed otherwise the Lich devolves into a mindless monster with no memories, and is nothing more then a very overpowered zombie. BoomFuzzy, being a Frost Lich, is a zombie, whose flesh does not rot and who can control the weather, summoning blizzards, and killing people with his Kiss of Death that sucks the warmth out of their body. Wherever BoomFuzzy is, winter follows, as do millions of zombies. Being a Lich he has psionic abilities to control the zombie herds moving them at will, like huge armies, across villages and settlements. With twenty one billion undead at him command, Lich King Gwallmattic, Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Lich Lord of Fire Mountain, aka BoomFuzzy the Lich Unicorn, went on to become the most feared and most unstoppable rule Earth had ever known.

And then, he simply went back to being a Master Chef, running his restaurants, working out of his food truck, and being the kind, loving, devoted husband to Quaraun and their children, while leaving his Kelpie guards and Leprechaun generals to rule in his stead. While he remains the figurehead of the kingdom of Earth, the one leader the people see, he in fact has not run the government for three hundred years, at the point of which readers see him in the series.

What readers encounter instead is the very slice of life domestic life of an evil warrior king, who has a family to protect, and spends most of his days helping Quaraun run the lighthouse they live in.

The Black Tower Lighthouse is their home, when they are at home. The BioDome behind the lighthouse is where The 400 families of The UnSeelie Court live. When they travel they do so in The Blue Monkey a huge 5 deck tramp steamer paddlewheel river boat, which had been a Disney cruise ship prior to the apocalypse and is big enough to house all 400 families of The UnSeelie Court, serving estentally as a floating village. When they dock The Blue Monkey and travel inland, Quaraun, BoomFuzzy, and GhoulSpawn travel in a vardo, that is towed by a pair of undead cyber moose, while sentient/sapient AI Toobe, "self"drives the food truck behind them, and 400 families of The UnSeelie Court follow along in a huge motley caravan of cars, trucks, covered wagons, and RVs. They set up tent camps along the road at night.

The lighthouse under attack from giant undead crustaceans.	The Blue Monkey in Saco Bay
The Vardo	Inside the Vardo
BoomFuzzy's food truck, a 1968 robin egg blue Volkswagen 23 window Kombi Bus	Quaraun's pink silk tent

And for all of it, BoomFuzzy is always seen as the one in command, taking control, giving the orders, and overall keeping The UnSeelie Court in check and in line. While he no longer first hand rules the world and has set up his followers to do so instead, BoomFuzzy is still first hand in control of The UnSeelie Court itself.

While known for his wild, crazy antics, BoomFuzzy is also the eye of the storm, holding everything together, becoming the the centre of everything. Story plots revolve completly around him, and readers see him trying to juggle ruling the world, running his restaurant business, keeping the zombies at bay, maintaining repairs of the lighthouse, leading teams to scavenge for supplies in the city ruins, and raising a family, all while dealing with Quaraun's endless paranoias, psychotic meltdowns, and germaphobic fits of hysteria.

BoomFuzzy is perhaps the most multi faceted character of the series, as readers see almost every aspects of all sides of his life.

BoomFuzzy is a "classic fantasy type" Necromancer who uses sorcery to raise the dead. Being a Faerie he is also an illusionist and master of trickster magic. By profession, he is a Master Chef, owning the global monopoly on restaurants, taverns, pubs, and food trucks. Until his death, BoomFuzzy was regarded as the world's most powerful wizard. He is now a Lich. BoomFuzzy is also half-Human. His mother was a Mongolian/Chinese Human, which is why he wears distinctively Asian outfits, along with a great kilt worn as a cape.

BoomFuzzy gleefully plots attacks on settlements. Quaraun, angry at the thought of Humans, agrees with BoomFuzzy’s evil nefarious plots.

BoomFuzzy is a gritty, feisty, feral Scottish Phooka—a ruthless warlord known as King Gwallmaiic, Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Lich Lord of Fire Mountain. His speech is raw, crass, and unfiltered, drenched in cockney street slang and a rough Scots dialect. He must always use double negatives, vulgar expressions, and colorful curses that capture his brutal, no-nonsense nature. He calls people “numpty” and uses “bahookie” often.

BoomFuzzy dismisses any fancy scientific or academic jibber jabber, believing that strength and fear—rather than numbers or polite discourse—are what build a kingdom. He speaks with the unrefined swagger of a battle-hardened vagabond king who rules by muscle and menace, not by education or courtesy. Every line of his dialogue should reek of savage authority and unyielding ferocity, emphasizing that he is the living, breathing embodiment of raw power in a wild, blood-thirsty world.

You know all those fancy pants old fashioned words Quaraun likes using? BoomFuzzy likes using them too, but deliberately goes out of his way to use them incorrectly or as curse words, just to annoy Quaraun. BoomFuzzy thinks those words are funny and often finds ways to make them sound crude or lewd, he especially likes words that sound like bum or butt or ass. For example BoomFuzzy might say he's “gonna take a Pish-posh” instead of “take a piss”, or say “sits on his Bumbershoot” instead of “sits on his bum”.

He swears often, fuck, fucked, and fucking are used liberally. He often adds crude sputtered injectioned phrases like “fucking rat bastards” or “bastardly dipshits” or “fucking dimwits” (example: “Humans over in the next village, fucking rat bastards, are planning…”).

BoomFuzzy often drops articles and misused pronouns (example: “me food truck” or “you meal be ready soon” or “going down beach” (instead of “going down to the beach”).

Not because he doesn't know them, but rather because he knows dropping them annoys the shit out of Quaraun. when needs be, BoomFuzzy can and does talk just fine, but making fun of white people by speaking over the top broken English, to deliberately go out of his way to prove a point about white people treating Black people like shit, then turn around and shock them by switching to prim perfect grammar, is a thing BoomFuzzy does a lot.

BoomFuzzy likes to scream out random Onomatopoeic words, for example, he Often runs up behind people and screams “BOOM!” , then turns into a tiny fuzzy purple Shetland pony with a gleaming silver horn, then runs away laughing, which is the reason people nicknamed him “BoomFuzzy”. He also says things like: “Shut ya gob!” Or “Quit ya caterwauling!” BoomFuzzy has silver eyes caused by ocular albinism. But BoomFuzzy is a Black Man. He is legally blind but can see some, with the help of his giant steampunk, cybertech goggles. BoomFuzzy is absolute chaos on a stick. BoomFuzzy is prone to Circumlocution, using the long way around a sentence. BoomFuzzy likes these words: Bahookie, Eejit, Bollocks, Dodgy, Nincompoop, Collywobbles, Malarkey, Comeuppance, Skullduggery, Kerfuffle, Flummoxed, Thingamajig, Tomfoolery, Shenanigans, Hoodwink, Blethering, Hullabaloo, Curmudgeon, Whippersnapper, Bamboozled, Jibber Jabber, A Murder of Crows, EdgeLord, Lollygag, Fuddy-duddy, Ragamuffin, Lackadaisy, Rapscallion, Rotty, Balderdash, Tittynope, Cockamamie, Claptrap, Catawampus, Gobsmacked, Hornswoggle, Discombobulated,

Known as BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, he often takes the form of a purple Unicorn. BoomFuzzy's exact age is unknown, though he was well over two thousand years old at the time of his death, and Quaraun resurrected him as a Lich around 500+ years ago, making him close to 3,000 years old. In his BlackBird form he is fifteen thousand years old.

Since it's easier to just show you, here's a sample of how he talks:

BoomFuzzy’s Unicorn Lich form

Glinta aka GhoulSpawn the Crazed

Glinta aka GhoulSpawn the Crazed: Their on again-off again mad scientist golden fleeced Sheep Demon lover: GhoulSpawn with his 1974 AMC Gremlin time machine. GhoulSpawn was born on a boiling, fire planet, but as a small child was summoned to 1959 Earth by Humans with a Ouija board. He lived among Humans, getting a PhDs in Quantum Physic and Astrophysics, invented time travel, built a time machine, and then in 1978, fell through a portal, and is now trapped in 40th century Maine. Being a Demon from literal Hell, he has natural elemental abilities with fire and can summon hell creatures. He is Quaraun's apprentice, and feared by Humans to be on a fast track to becoming more powerful than either BoomFuzzy or Quaraun. Due to his messing around with time travel, there are 5 different versions of him which appear throughout the series, each from different dimensions and alternate time lines, each one uses a different name (Glinta, GhoulSpawn, Gremlin, Checka, ZooLock - while GhoulSpawn is the one seen most often, Gremlin is in fact the correct original one). GhoulSpawn is very young, not yet 50 years old. The Gremlin version of him is around 500 years old, while the Checka version of him is thirteen thousand years old, and the ZooLock version of him is stated to be "old as time".

GhoulSpawn is a laid-back, chill American hippy with the unmistakable vibe of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. A former draft dodger who amassed an endless string of PhDs in physics during the '50s, '60s, and '70s, he now speaks with an easygoing, surfer-dude cadence. His language should be casual and relaxed, sometimes includes phrases like “yo, dude,” “man,” “like, totally,” and “chill now” but don't over do it, keep it subtle. Due to his academic background, he embraces heavy use of quantum physics jargon, gets side tracked and goes off on tangents peppered with scientific facts, scientific equations, physics figures, dry logic, but blended with a conversational, somewhat offbeat style that makes complex ideas seem cool and accessible.

he’s the calm in the chaos, ready to “take a drip” or “catch some waves” while calling things “groovy” and “jive” or saying “fuzz” when he means “police” and using “stoner slang” and mixes it with strict adherence to laws of physics and scientific facts guide him. His tone should remain unfussy, breezy, mad scientist, and thoroughly modern, a far cry from pretentious academia, capturing the spirit of a true free-spirited hippy navigating a wild, post-apocalyptic realm. GhoulSpawn has golden flecked bright yellow pleco eyes with black scalar.

GhoulSpawn loves Quaraun, but is very shy about it. GhoulSpawn admires BoomFuzzy but is also scared of him. GhoulSpawn sleeps in the same bed with Quaraun and BoomFuzzy. They are each lovers to the other two.

GhoulSpawn is bisexual and sexually active with both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy, and is usually accepted as the biological father of most, of Quaraun’s pregnancies, given BoomFuzzy’s general avoidance of vaginas in general. However GhoulSpawn has a deep dislike for children, whereas BoomFuzzy loves children and is very good with children, resulting in most of Quaraun’s children referring to BoomFuzzy as their father, and BoomFuzzy accepting and referring to the children as his, even though he knows GhoulSpawn to be the biological father.

All three of them are evil super villians.

Quaraun is a sly, sneaky, snake oil charlatan, capable of selling his overpriced wares to anyone.

BoomFuzzy is a slippery tongued master of deception, illusions, and trickery who makes a scene of giving away free food creating an effective distraction. BoomFuzzy bounces around like a Circus ringmaster turned trickster king, wearing a top hat and bombastically calling out to the passers by.

GhoulSpawn, with is long green Fagin coat full of bag of holding pockets, is an expert sneak thief and pickpocket who never gets caught, while BoomFuzzy creates distracts with free food, drawing in crowds of hungry survivors, GhoulSpawn slips through the crowd pocketing anything and everything, including things Quaraun just sold, allowing Quaraun to sell them all over again.

Together the 3 of them are very good at robbing Humans of nearly everything and then leaving before the Humans realize they've been hoodwinked and swindled.

Quaraun is most certainly NOT an evil genius; evil yes, but genius, no; Quaraun is very stupid, in fact he's the epitome of the "too stupid to live" trope meets "the ditzy blond" trope, but he's full blown evil, just not smart enough to pull off any of the evil plots he hatches. Quaraun comes up with all sorts of evil plots, he just ain't got the smarts to pull any of them off.

BoomFuzzy is super intelligent, but is the type that doesn't want to be intelligent, because he wants to be normal, so he goes overboard on being the class clown trope to try to hide that fact that he has brain cells miles smarter then most everyone else; and he's full caos when it comes to switching sides between evil one minute helpful the next.

BoomFuzzy does have the smarts needed to pull of Quaraun's evil plots, but he's too busy tying Quaraun's twelve foot long hair to the staircase, or switching Quaraun's snuff out for sneezing powder, to have time to work on evil plots.

GhoulSpawn on the other hand IS a mega mind super genius, but he's too mild and meek to be evil (yet), he's probably the smartest megamind super brain in the universe, but he has no ambition at all, he's just plain lazy; he's a 1970s groovy chill hippy who's rather sit on the grass, smoking the grass, reading comics to his pet sheep, eat pizza, and tinker on his little appliance gadget inventions, then actually use his mega braincells for hatching evil plots, but he's also the eye twitchy one tick away from going megalomaniac on the entire planet, if only the thought of doing so didn't scare him shitless.

Noodle Beach is the primary location. Black Tower lighthouse is on the cliffs of MoonSnail Cove, on Noodle Beach. The Forest of No Return is behind the lighthouse. Silent Moor is the marsh to the side of the lighthouse. The Blue Monkey is the river boat. The pink silk tent is used when travelling. They travel to survivors settlements which are hundreds of miles between and extremely isolated, to barter for supplies.

It's three god-level, planet destroying, alien invader Space Elf, Space Faerie, Space Demon megalomaniac super villain bumbling wizards, and their ship's crew (The UnSeelie Court) with big global domination plans, whom have invaded 40th century Earth, settled in a lighthouse in Maine, started a zombie apocalypse, are hellbent on destroying all Humans and taking over the planet, but are never getting anything done because they are too busy throwing temper tantrums, having hissy fits, and flinging food, sea slugs, insults, and sexual tension at each other, to ever get around to destroying the planet.

This perhaps says it best:

BUT... it's also Cozy Fantasy, a genre known for the fact that it contains ZERO sex scenes, ZERO violence, and the bulk of the genre revolves around couples drinking tea, running restaurants, and over all, not doing one single damned thing at all. Which is why is is so hilarious when churches around York County, Maine call me an Erotica author, call my books Erotica, or like how in February 2016 when The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall issued a court order declaring my books had to have a "Rated M21+" label put on them due to "sex and violence and featuring gay couples living in the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine" (it ended up in Superior Court by October 2016, and there, the Judge threw out the Town Hall's "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach" court case on grounds of "a government institution can not impede freedom of speech or ban books".

So for a period of 9 months in 2016 all my books were hilariously sold with a "Rated M21+" label on the covers, and people had to show ID to prove they were over the age of 21 to buy my books in the State of Maine... the label stated on it "due to graphic sex and extreme violence and featuring gay couples living in the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine". ...even though NONE of my books contained sex, graphic or otherwise, and none of them contained violence.

In 2017 Old Orchard Beach, Maine became Noodle Beach, Maine in the series and the town hall was no longer able to complain about gay couples living in Old Orchard Beach, of course this also lead to the discovery that Old Orchard Beach had a town ordinance forbidden gay couples from owning homes, property, or businesses in Old Orchard Beach, leading to the Gay Pride protests that arrived afterwards, and today, that ordinance has been overturned and there are over a dozen gay couple owned businesses right on Main Street, in front of The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall.

Gay haters are weird.

In any case, the fact that there are no sex scenes in my books is WHY I get so many readers asking me: "Do these three guys have sex with each other, or are they just platonic friends living together?"

No. They are not platonic friends.

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are a married couple and GhoulSpawn is their shared live-in lover. Each of the three is sexual active with the other two, and all three of them sleep in a single bed together.

Sooooooo... that's the kind of stuff I write and that's the kind of website this is.

Meet The Three Wizards:

Quaraun Swanzen
aka
The Pink Necromancer

Quaraun the Insane (The Pink Necromancer)

Role: Main protagonist.

The story is always from his third-person limited, past tense point of view. Readers only know what Quaraun sees, hears, or thinks.

The series is villain point-of-view fiction. Quaraun is the point of view villain.

Core Identity

• Race: Moon Elf, biologically female but lives as a male (like Lythande).

• Presentation: Flamboyant, frail, autistic, stoic. Dresses in extravagant resplendent pink silk robes, gemstone-covered.

• Disability: Crippled. Hands crushed in childhood—clawed, fused, nearly immobile. Uses mechanical gold-plated gloves. 

• Limited mobility: uses cane, walker, or wheelchair. Often falls. Hates needing help.

• Power: Necromancer, feared and worshipped. Holds the Rainbow Wand, a mage-tech laser weapon with 16 deadly settings. Known for theatrical, brutal magic use.

• Status: Billionaire artisan tailor, Court Mage of the UnSeelie Court. 

• Worshipped by Thullids. 

• Often pregnant.

• Collects heads. Has rooms full of shelves of the heads of his victims.

Personality:

• Elegant, high strung, overly dramatic, dangerously obsessive, particularly about silk and BoomFuzzy.

• Psychotic villain-vibes, with emotionally venomous monologues.

• Detests being called insane, fragile, or weak—responds with violence and vitriol.

• Hates everything and everyone, an very vocal about it.

• Speaks slowly, with no contractions, and often delivers furious, poetic monologues.

• Never uses contractions, unless he's agitated and forgets to refuse to use them. If he starts using contractions, run, that's the sign he's about to kill someone.

Quaraun is a Supervillain, not a Hero.

• He’s not “complex” in the typical literary sense of a morally gray anti-hero.

• He murders without remorse, often for petty slights or inconvenience.

• He collects heads like trophies. That's not heroic or misunderstood—that's pure villain behavior.

• He’s mentally unstable, obsessed with control, and proud of his capacity for violence.

• His motivations are selfish, obsessive, and reactive, not noble.

What he is NOT:

• He is not a tragic misunderstood hero.

• He is not seeking redemption.

• He is not doing bad things for a greater good.

The F2M transgender Persian Moon Elf main character: The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane, wearing his pink robes of Moon Goddess worship.

Quaraun aka The Pink Necromancer:

The F2M transgender Persian Moon Elf main character: The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane, wearing his pink robes of Moon Goddess worship.

F2M for those unaware = Quaraun was biologically born female, but transitioned to live as a male; this is why there are stories where Quaraun is sometimes pregnant, in spite of being male and using he/him male pronouns. Quaraun is a Necromancer by the actual dictionary definition of the word, meaning he is a psychic medium who sees and hears ghosts, and uses tarot, spirit boards, and seances to communicate with the dead.

By profession he is a silk weaver/tailor/silk merchant. Quaraun is an Elder God JellyFish who takes the form of an Elf to blend in with society. His 12 foot long hair is made out of venomous, stinging jellyfish tentacles. Quaraun is BoomFuzzy's apprentice and regarded as the world's most powerful still living wizard. Quaraun's exact age is unknown, but he is somewhere around 750 years old. In his SunTa form he is twelve thousand years old. The Scared Pink JellyFish that lives in him, is stated to being over two million years old.

Quaraun is a transman who wears boob bindings, but also has had a forced against his will double mastectomy as a form of punishment, in his youth which heavily contributed to his becoming transgender transitioning to become a man.

Quaraun was the youngest child of a deranged Seelie Court Elf king who had all daughters and wanted a son.

Quaraun was born intersex, having both male and female genitals, and is able to both father children in others and give birth to children himself. Quaraun was also born with severe mental disorders, generally presumed to have low-functioning autism.

As a teenager, Quaraun was identifying as a female and was one of the favourite princesses of the Elf's royal court.

When Quaraun attracted the romantic attention of the UnSeelie Court Faerie King, her father, infuriated, cut off her breasts and mutilated her vagina, in a brutal attempt to force his intersex child to become his son. When Quaraun tried to fight back to defend himself, his father crushed his hands in the grinding wheel of a millstone, which is why Quaraun now has metal prosthetic hands.

Quaraun left The Seelie Court, joined forced with the UnSeelie Court, and continued wearing the royal pink gowns of a Seelie Elven princess, but took to binding his mutilated breasts, using male pronouns and identify as a male, and went on to marry the UnSeelie Court Faerie King becoming his court mage.

All of that information can be found in the novels.

Many of the stories in this collection are elderly Quaraun, now many centuries later, reflecting on this event from his youth.

Quaraun's fluctuating gender, confuses readers who jump into the series without knowing that he is a LITERAL JellyFish.

Quaraun is not biologically a Moon Elf. He is a Thullid, a type of psionic jellyfish-like Elder Brain parasite, who lives inside the hollowed-out skull of a long-dead Moon Elf, animating the Elf’s corpse from within. The long, pink, venomous tentacle “hair” is his real body—his jellyfish appendages disguised as hair. The Elf body is decorative and functional, used for social interaction and manipulating tools.

Quaraun lacks a brain because Thullids are brainless telepathic organisms. His frequent declaration of “I have no brain” is not poetic—he literally has no nervous system. He is immortal due to the regenerative cycle of his species, which allows him to revert between life stages indefinitely, like the real-world Turritopsis dohrnii, the immortal jellyfish.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turritopsis_dohrnii

His gender changes are biologically driven: Jellyfish naturally change sex throughout their lifespan, and Quaraun fluidly alternates between presenting male and female depending on his stage.

Among Thullids, Quaraun is revered as The Sacred Pink Jellyfish, a mythic Elder Brain believed to be the first of their kind. Some Thullids consider him their god—a divine mother figure, while others fear him as a heretical abomination for bonding emotionally with Faeries and not fully consuming his host.

His obsession with silk, beauty, and delicate physical things is a sensory fixation rooted in his species' natural attraction to light, colour, and texture. His humanoid identity is an elaborate social mask over a barely concealed alien intelligence.

Quaraun is to silk what Sweeney Todd was to barbering: a genius artisan twisted by grief and madness, the best who ever lived—unmatched, elegant, and utterly insane. A stoic, frail Moon Elf who walks with a jewelled cane and speaks in venom-laced poetry, Quaraun weaves spells into every thread of his fabrics. His garments are coveted by kings, cursed by gods, and soaked in the blood of those who dared insult his artistry. He is not just a master tailor—he is a surgeon of silk and murder.

He dresses in shimmering pinks, but his soul is black. His broken, clawed hands move only with the aid of enchanted gold-plated gloves, yet his work is flawless, obsessive, and beautiful enough to drive men mad. Quaraun kills without warning—quietly, suddenly, and with theatrical flourish. A single word, a gesture, the wrong look, and his Rainbow Wand flashes—a throat is slit, a body turned to ash, a city devoured by pink rose-thorned eldritch vines. Then he returns to his loom, unbothered.

He is the crown jewel of psychotic elegance. Worshipped by monsters, feared by all, he built an empire of silk, medicine, and black market magic—then burned it down and made it again, better, crueler, silkier. His love for BoomFuzzy is obsessive and violent. His patience is limited. And when the world displeases him, he carves its seams out one scream at a time.

The series is classified as MPreg due to the fact that in many stories, Quaraun is often pregnant, usually by BoomFuzzy, sometimes by GhoulSpawn

Quaraun has 75 children, most notable of which are King Vileder, Melaca, and Dr. Vangoneese. 

His most notable grandson is Sir Roderic, owner of The Twighlight Manor.

While is most notable great grand sons are Etiole and The Dazzling Razzbury.

Stories about Quaraun are usually set in the era between him being 750 to 800 years old, as this was the time period GhoulSpawn lived with him. GhoulSpawn only lived with Quaraun for a space of around thirty years. This is the era when Quaraun was still identifying as male, but was beginning to dress far more female, due to his growing obsession with Moon Goddess worship. This era was the early stages of his religious tyranny which would lead to his later decent into insanity and eventually crowning himself as The Grand High Emperor of The Triple Planets and renaming himself SunTa – God of the Sun.

Quaraun as SunTa, King of the Sun, The Grand High Emperor of The Triple Planets, with his son King Vielder The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun and Lich King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (horse form) Quaraun as SunTa, King of the Sun, The Grand High Emperor of The Triple Planets, with his great grandson Etiole the eel merman

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun and Lich King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (humanoid form) Quaraun with BoomFuzzy in the Maze of Insanity Quaraun aka The Pink Necromancer, King of the Moon Elves, seen here with BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, Lich King of The Realm of Fae, King of The Unseelie Court Quaraun and BoomFuzzy

Quaraun's magic is rooted in real world Vodu.

Both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are "Voodoo Priests"

Quaraun is the High Priest of both Erzulie Fréda and Erzulie Dantò, that he is their literal, chosen vessel on Earth, and that he lives not just in devotion but in spiritual embodiment—changes the stakes of every spell, every silk thread, every grave he tends.

This is not aesthetic. This is ritual duty.

This is queer rage, sacred blood, sequins as wards, and daggers as offerings.

This is Black Vodun, trans survival, Moon-crowned vengeance, and ancestral pride stitched in pink and red silk.

And BoomFuzzy—blind, Black, devoted to the Guédé, walking with Baron Samdi and Papa Legba—adds the liminal fire. He’s not background; he’s the doorway to the afterlife, the veil-ripper, the sex-and-death pathwalker who tempers Quaraun’s fire with irreverent grit.

Quaraun’s Magic:

• Comes from Benin-line Voodoo, not Hollywood Voodoo.
• Is built on serpent rites, silk thread, ancestral pacts, and veve-carved looms.
• Wears pink and glitter because he serves Erzulie Fréda as protector of gay/trans/queer lives.
• Carries daggers (even metaphorically) because he serves Erzulie Dantò, protector of abused children and victims of rape and exploitation.
• Is a fanatical spiritual warrior, not a casual mage.
• Every spell he sells is an act of devotion, not whimsy.

Quaraun is an Erzulie priest, who calls Erzulie the Moon Goddess and that is WHY Quaraun wears pink and glitter.

Quaraun's grandson AlKeme is a Hungon of Damballa, which is why he wears white and has serpent tattoos.

Quaraun spends an inordinate amount of time in graveyards making goopher dust; he hot foots the area around his vardo before setting it up, he draws veve on the vardo and weaves veve into all his cloth, he sets up altars to the loa everywhere he goes.

Quaraun worships Eruzuili, both Freda (pink and glitter) and Danta (red and blood). The twin brides of Damballah.

Both Erzuli's are fierce.

Freda is the deceptively "frilly" in her pinks and sequins, but she is the fierce protector of gay men and transgender people, while her twin sister Danta is the dagger wielding protector of children and sexual abuse survivors.

Quaraun sees himself as their literal representative on earth, it is why he (Quaraun is biologically female) lives as a transman, lives as a gay man, and is a vicious vigilanti protector of children and rape victims. Quaraun takes his role as High Priest of the Moon Goddess VERY seriously. He is devote to the point of being fanatical.

The glitter is not just campy flair. The pink is not aesthetic.
It’s ceremonial, sacred, snake-bound, moon-pulled beauty magic.

Benin–Dahomey Vodun: (how it is different from New Orleans Voodoo)

Benin–Dahomey lineage of Vodun is distinct from the more often cited Yoruba-based, Creole-fused, or Haitian-influenced versions that get overrepresented (and frequently misrepresented) in Western media.

My family descends from Benin, Dahomey, and uses the "snake cult" tradition of voodoo passed down through the Benin line. We are a mix of Scottish, Persian, Mongolian, Kowari PNG, and Benin, Dahomey, in our bloodline and family religion traditions. So we default to the Scottish and Benin type Voodoo which is a bit different from the French/Creole/Yuroba type. So I am pulling from family tradition for this.

Key Differences I'm Working From

• Snake cult (Vodoun Dangbé / Damballa) origin: Central to my great-grandfather's tradition is reverence for serpents as divine, especially python spirits. Snake symbolism isn’t just present—it’s the core axis of cosmology, healing, protection, and balance.

• Ancestral lineage and ritual objects (altars, fetishes, dolls, fabric, knots) matter more than bookwork or formalized creole liturgy.

• Often includes cloth bundles, thread, shells, bones, horns, and ritual objects passed through families, not store-bought.

• Less emphasis on Catholic overlay (like saints) and more on the direct invocation of Loa, often through sacred objects made in secretive, generational practices—woven, buried, fed, or bathed ritually.

• Feminine power is central: I mentioned Erzulie—yes, but your Erzulie is likely not the New Orleans romance-fairy caricature, but the Benin-style fierce Moon Goddess of fertility, justice, psychic power, vengeance, and beauty.

• Scottish syncretism with my family's path means I'm also carrying in Faerie folk knowledge, glamour magic, weaving as power, word-binding, oath-stones, and wind curses. All very consistent with Quaraun’s background.

• Serpent-and-thread magic
• Loom-woven veve glyphs
• Word-bound silk strips and moon-charmed pins
• Bloodline spell bundles passed down and fed with offerings
• Fae logic meets ancestral pacts
• Real, functional folk items that do things—not just sit there and “feel haunted”

Every spell he makes should reflect ritual purpose, symbolic logic, and multi-cultural synthesis from the life he actually lives:
A Vodou-rooted, neurodivergent silk mage, working graveyard spells at midnight while whispering to his moths, calling serpents and spirits with equal reverence.

And he doesn't think twice about slitting the throats of rapists and child abuses in the name of Erzulie Dantò

BoomFuzzy’s Magic:

• Rooted in Baron Samdi, Guédé rites, graveyard wit, and Papa Legba’s crossroads.
• Uses crude language, rum, sugar, spice, dirt, bones, and uncensored truth.
• Serves the spirits of the dead, but also helps the living pass safely.
• Makes offerings with gingerbread and absinthe, not just for fun—but as ritual keys to ancestral communion.

This is why you see my characters doing "Granny swamp Magic" as opposed to doing Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/Dungeons and Dragons magic.

Voodoo the religion, Hoodoo the ritual practice, and Faerie folklore are combined to create the Magic System used by these three quasi-Voodoo mages.

Voodoo (Voudou / Vodou / New Orleans Voodoo):

• A religion, not a spell system.

• Combines West African spiritual systems (especially from the Fon, Ewe, Yoruba) with Catholicism, and indigenous practices.

• Centered around honouring spirits (called Loa, or Lwa) through altars, offerings, possession, veves, drumming, ritual dance, ancestral veneration.

• In New Orleans, it's been heavily shaped by Creole, French, and Spanish Catholic influence, and Spiritism.

• Voodoo may include spellcraft, but that part is often misrepresented—it's more about ritual devotion, possession, and service to spirits.

Hoodoo (Rootwork / Conjure / Trick Doctoring):

• Not a religion. It’s a separate system of African-American folk magic.

• Based on spiritual power through natural items and ritual practice: roots, bones, herbs, personal effects, crossroads, ancestor work.

• Practitioners don’t “worship” spirits—they manipulate spiritual forces using material items.

• Hoodoo spellwork is where you get things like: 

1.  Honey jars
2.  Freezer spells
3.  Sour jars
4.  Cleansing baths
5.  Floor washes
6.  Mojo bags (Gris-gris)
7.  Jack balls
8.  Name paper & petition magic
9.  Candle work with colour meanings
10.  Powders (e.g., Hot Foot, Goofer Dust)
11.  Laying tricks / Foot track magic

• Spells are literal: “write the name on paper, anoint with oil, fold away from you, place in jar with herbs, seal, bury at a crossroads.” That is a spell.

Quaraun uses protective items for queer folks and abuse survivors explicitly, since that's core to his Erzulie devotion. He has spells for:

• Trans protection
• Binding abusers
• Queer love blessing
• Warding against spiritual violence
• Justice jars for courts and police corruption

Queer Black Vodun + Silk Craftsmanship + Graveyard Rootwork = Quaraun’s Signature Magic.

• Erzulie Fréda spells: pink, glitter, perfume, sweet—but deadly precise.

• Erzulie Dantò spells: red, iron, thread, and blood-bound justice.

• And weave in BoomFuzzy's Guédé traditions for spirit work, trickster death rites, and grave-clearing.

However... the reason I do not call (in the books) what Quaraun does "Voodoo" is because it is NOT straight up just Voodoo a, and it draws on a lot of more Fantasy types of things as well. And as I am myself a Voodoo priestess rank of Medsan Fey, I know the harm that can be and often if done to our religion when you use the word voodoo in fictional media, especially in Fantasy genres featuring wizards or witches and spell casting.

It is for this reason you never see the Loa mentioned by name, and why you see Quaraun only ever say "The Moon Goddess" (Freda) or "The Moon Goddess's bloody soaked twin sister" (Dantor) or "The Snake God" (Damballa), etc.

You see, while the core base of Quaraun's magic system is in fact real world Voodoo and Hoodoo, it is changed quite a bit as well, has a lot of "Harry Potter" type magic with wands and potions, and a lot of Dungeons and Dragons type magic with big elemental spells like summoning fireballs or casting tornados full of sharks, and monster magic (dragons, mimics, psions, etc) and magic items (bags of holding, cursed amulets, etc) that are not connected to voodoo at all, and could give readers the wrong impression of the Vodoun religion.

You see, contrary to popular urban myths, there is nothing spooky, evil, horror, death spell, demonic, or scary about the Vodou religion, which is a peaceful religion based on reverance of ancestors. There is no "voodoo dolls" or sticking pins in things or casting curses, in actual real Voodoo.

Hoodoo Dolls come from ancient Scotland and are part of Scottish Hoodoo.

Note: Voodoo is an African word, whereas Hoodoo is a Medieval Celtic word originating from the Picts of what is now ScotlanHoodoo is a magic based pagan religion similar to Wicca, which is also a Celtic religion.

Hoodoo was brought to the Appalachians region of America's South by the Scottish Gypsies. It got mixed into the Voodoo religion, when Scottish Hoodooers were smuggling escaped slaves out of the South and taking them to the North.

In the 1700s to 1800s White Slavers would say things like "That hoodoo voodoo mumbo jumbo" to be dismissive of minorities (Blacks and Gypsies) and try to make it sound like Black people and Gypsies were talking jibberish nonsense. End result was that by the late 1800s a lot of white folk were using the Scottish word Hoodoo interchangeably with the African word Voodoo.

Hoodoo DOES in fact use dolls to stick pins in and put curses on people. Curses and hexes and doll baby spells are a central part of Scottish Gypsy culture.

But Voodoo has no culture or tradition of curses, hexes, or doll baby spells.

It was not until the 1920s and Bela Lugosi's movie "The white Zombie" that the word "Voodoo Doll" was even invented. And it was created very simply to make the Black slaves in the movie look evil, for practicing the religion of Voodoo. The White Zombie movie took the practice of Hoodoo and incorrectly slapped the name of Voodoo on it, and this the invention of the Voodoo Doll - a thing that exists ONLY in Hollywood movies.

Unfortunately, that movie got popular, and other movies band wagoned it's success, and soon voodoo dolls were a staple of every Horror movie of the 1920s and 1930s, and by the end of the 1930s Hollywood had convinced everyone that the Voodoo religion was full of curses, evil rituals, and sticking pins in dolls, when in fact that stuff all originated from us Scottish Gypsies and NOT from Black people or their Voodoo religion.

In any case, it was to avoid causing further damage to the Voodoo religion, thar I opted to not use any real names of any religions or deities in my books.

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy

• For those unaware, the Quaraun series started out as fanfiction of several things before going on to be it's own thing (most fanfiction things were removed by 1987, and all fanfiction elements removed completely by 2012; from 1996 to 2012 the series was published daily on FanFiction.net, from 2004 to 2010 on MySpace {back when MySpace was a blogging platform}, and from 2005 to 2013 Squidoo). 

• Over the decades it has featured fanfiction from many things, including: It was a combination fanfiction of 

1. The Rocky Horror Picture Show, 
2. Faeries, 
3. Rainbow Brite, 
4. The Herself the Elf, 
5. Rose-Petal Place, 
6. Dragonriders of Pern,
7. She-Ra: Princess of Power, 
8. The Love Bug, 
9. The Cat From Outer Space, 
10. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, 
11. Jem and The Holograms, 
12. ElfQuest, 
13. Splash, 
14. The Dark Crystal, 
15. Labyrinth, 
16. The Smurfs, 
17. The Fall of the House of Usher, 
18. Dr. Phibes Rises Again!, 
19. House on Haunted Hill, 
20. Beneath The Planet Of The Apes, 
21. AD&D/Spelljammer, 
22. Mad Max, 
23. Inuyasha, 
24. and Don't Starve.

• Primary among them was the character Lythande by Marion Zimmer Bradley, whom Quaraun’s character is based upon.

• At it's core, the entire series was most heavily fanfiction of Lythande and The Mists of Avalon, both by Marion Zimmer Bradley.

• Before there was Quaraun, there was Lythande by Marion Zimmer Bradly… the FIRST intersex, transgender homeless Gypsy mage, part of The Mists of Avalon series, which spans dozens of books throughout the 1970s & 1980s, all featuring an intersex, female to male mage main character .

• Lythande started out as a series of short stories in magazines in the 1970s, and was later complied into a collection in the 1980s. After Bradley’s death, several unpublished Lythande stories were found and her granddaughter published “The Complete Lythande” which includes everything she wrote, including the previously unpublished stories, which remain unedited and unfinished.

• After publishing the first Lythande story, Bradley issued a letter to her fans, that Lythande was without copyright and “open world” and invited fans to write more stories for the series. I was one of the fans who answered this.

• When the Bradley lawsuits and court cases rocked the literary world a few years later, I unpublished everything featuring Lythande and the world, and changed all characters and world to OC ones, republishing them, in what is now The Quaraun series.

• For those unfamiliar with Lythande it was the first mass market produced book to feature a transgender main character.

• Lythande at the time of it’s publication was one of the most controversial, most hated, most boycotted, and most banned book of the era — due to it being the first TRADITIONALY PUBLISHED by one of the “Big Four” publishing houses, to feature a TRANSGENDER main character.

• Lythande is a lesbian female, who lives in a part Medival, part ancient Persia, part modern space traveling CyberTech world dominated by woman hating men -who are mass murdering females at alarming levels in an attempt to rid the world of the evil that is women. Lesbian women are the primary target in this nightmarish dystopian world where the LGBTQAI+ community is being massacred in a dictator decreed genocide. In order to help her fellow lesbians gain their rights and freedoms, Lythande goes undercover as a man to infiltrate The Blue Star Warriors, a group of male mages who control the world’s magic. She becomes the most powerful mage of all time across all dimensions, but when the leader of The Blue Star Warriors discovers she is a woman, he curses her. The curse forces her to live the rest of her life as a man, including, she is no longer able to have sex as a woman, literally turning into a male with a penis whenever she tries to have sex with her female lover; additional she is cursed with immortally and lives for thousands of years, falling in love with hundreds of women, and never able to be with any of them as a woman… 

• unfortunately… like Firefly, the series remains unfinished, because the author died before she finished writing it, so, we never find out how the series would have ended.

• My Quaraun books, take that exact same premise and run with it on a full blow ‘What if?”

• — I do highly recommend you read Lythande, if you want to gain a full ‘lore background” on the lore behind my Quaraun series :

The Complete Lythande (Amazon Affiliate Link)
It’s a long wait until the Last Battle of Law and Chaos, when the forces of Good and Evil will clash for the final…amzn.to

• I add the Lythande note to this story today, because this is an MPreg story which leans in heavy on the Lythande lore.

King Gwallmaiic Muddsburge
aka
BoomFuzzy The Unicorn

BoomFuzzy (King Gwallmaiic)

Role: Quaraun’s husband, lover, protector, and king of the UnSeelie Court. Cannibalistic Lich & pastry chef.

Core Identity:

• Species: Phooka (Faerie), undead Lich.

• Race: Black man, 5’1” pygmy from Papua New Guinea. Blind—sees only inches in front of him. Uses steampunk VR goggles to see.

• Form: Shifts between humanoid form and a lilac Shetland pony unicorn with a silver horn. Can take the form of (living) anything or any one.

• Status: King of the UnSeelie Court. 

• A former TV celebrity chef with Goblin sous chefs, currently works as a food truck chef.

• Owner of a culinary empire; owns dozens of restaurants, food trucks, taverns, pubs, biker bars, noodle shops, pizza parlors, candy shops, and tea houses across the planet.

Personality:

• Crude, foul-mouthed, hypersexual, cocky, chaotic. 

• Uses everything as an excuse to flirt with Quaraun.

• Unapologetically lewd. Extremely possessive and jealous of Quaraun.

• Reckless. Cruel to others, loving and teasing toward Quaraun.

• Thinks nothing of holding someone's face on a frying pan and grilling them to death.

• Often mocks Quaraun’s seriousness with sex jokes and threats of horny violence.

• Uses Scottish street slang, colloquialisms, metonymy, and filthy vulgarity.

• Swears constantly. Uses the word 'fuck' like it was a replacement for commas, quotation marks, and periods, but he's from Biddeford, so that's expected.

• Speaks fast, sharp, unpredictable. Lecherous and violent in every sentence.

• King of Pepper Valley in the year 3999 - Pepper Valley was Pepperell Mills Valley, Biddeford, Maine in the 20th century. 

• His river sprawling red bright kitchen filled smoke stack towered, fortress is the 40th century rebuilt version of North Damn Mill and Pepperell Mill Factories.

King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn: The Lich Chef – Undead Cannibal God, Frost-Faerie of the Eternal Banquet

BoomFuzzy is a Phooka, a type of Scottish Faerie.

• Phookas are a Scottish Faerie that are also know as Boggarts in England

• and are the creatures seen in Harry Potter, that show up as the thing you fear the most, what Ron saw as a giant spider while Harry saw a Dementor; 

• in American folklore they are known as BoogeyMen aka The Foot Monster aka The ShadowMan aka The Monster in the Closet and are said to hide under beds or in closets and come out after midnight to eat children's feet and drag the child into a portal pit to the Realm of Fae that exists under every child's bed.

• In Scottish folklore they are a type of bloodthirsty Kelpie that lives in wells and swamps and eats lone travelers who got lost in the forest. 

• according to Scottish folklore they are the single most evil, most deadly, and most feared creatures of all of Fae, feared even by RedCaps who dare not tangle with a Phooka

• BoomFuzzy's character combines all three of these folklore traditions.

• Phookas with a PH sounded out like an F (fooKA) are not to be confused with Pooka (no H and sounded out with a hard P aka POOca).

• Pooka are childrens imaginary friends, most famous of which are Winnie the Pooh and Harvey the Rabbit

• Phookas and Pooka are similar in that they are shapeshifters and are usually only seen by children, and often can not be seen by adults.

• In the series many people/characters can not see or hear BoomFuzzy. 

• Quaraun and GhoulSpawn, other Faeries, and most children can see him, but the majority of Human adults in the series can not see or hear BoomFuzzy and so when they see Quaraun talking to him, it looks as though Quaraun is talking to himself, which leads to people calling him "Quaraun the Insane".

As the series is set mostly in Maine (but also Massachusetts, and sometimes Quebec, and rarely Peru and Persia) the plotlines run on the assumption that there is nothing which terrifies Americans more than a Black man and this is why the Humans who can see him, see a Black man. In Peruvian stories Humans usually see him as BirdMan or Panther, while in Quebec Humans usually see him as Krampus, and in Persia Humans usually see him as a demonic Nuckelavee type horse.

BoomFuzzy is a Sadistic, Hypersexual, Undead Murder Machine, built by The Pink Necromancer to be his lover and protector. 

• He is a Phooka, who can look like anything or any one he wants to be. he has several "Human" forms he takes and several "Unicorn" forms he takes. No one but Quaraun knows what BoomFuzzy ACTUALLY looks like.

• Because quaraun has a massive phobia of White men, BoomFuzzy usually takes on the form of a Black man.

• Cannibalistic Lich pastry chef? He literally cooks and eats people. Often while they are still alive.

• He is obsessed with Quaraun to the point of possessive psychotic violence.

• He’s gleeful in torture. Holds people’s faces on hot pans. Mocks their screams.

• Sexual sadist, violent dominator, and the actual monster under your bed.

• He was The Pink Necromancer's first attempt at resurrecting UnDead, but because he was old and set in his ways before death, he's now difficult to control after death.

What he is NOT:

• Not a lovable rogue.

• Not a misunderstood sex-positive icon.

• Not a wise old mentor.

He is a Faerie war criminal who cooks souls for desserts.

King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn:

The Lich Chef – Undead Cannibal God, Frost-Faerie of the Eternal Banquet

Quaraun's husband, BoomFuzzy aka King Gwallmaiic, a Scottish Phooka, who is King of The UnSeelie Court. BoomFuzzy is a "classic fantasy type" Necromancer who uses sorcery to raise the dead. 

Being a Faerie he is also an illusionist and master of trickster magic. By profession, he is a Master Chef, owning the global monopoly on restaurants, taverns, pubs, and food trucks. Until his death, BoomFuzzy was regarded as the world's most powerful wizard. He is now a Lich.

BoomFuzzy is a candy mage and he is literally an actual unicorn.

I have discovered over the years, that readers often think of BoomFuzzy as though he were a man who takes a unicorn form, and that is incorrect.

BoomFuzzy the Unicorn is an actual Unicorn who takes a Humanoid form so that he can be with an Elf lover (Quaraun). And this was done SPECIFICALLY in 2013, when Amazon mass banned "Monster Porn" from their website, changing their ToS to state that all romantic relationships between character, MUST be "HUMAN FORM". Over twenty thousand authors were banned from Amazon, including some of the biggest names in traditionally published Romance,  and more then two million books were banned by Amazon, included over five thousand books published by Harlequin - Harlequin, never recovered either - good search for Harlequin books on Amazon, you'll see what I mean..

And contrary to popular myth, Amazon was NOT targeting only Erotica, they went after EVERY GENRE - Romance, Fantasy, Horror, you name it, even books without sex, including children's books that simply feature anthropomorphic characters, including several Disney books featuring Mickey and Donald. Amazon, in February 2013, simply declared, any romantic couple had to BOTH be humanoid. . And while my series did not have sex, it did have an Elf who was married to a Unicorn. And so since 2014 onward, all books written that end up on Amazon, show BoomFuzzy in humanoid form. You have to read the books published elsewhere for the horse form stories now.   

And so in 2013, all Quaraun books were removed from Amazon KDP, many never to return, because 2013 was the same year my son was murdered, a few months later, and so I simply never got around to editing the books and republishing them.

The books that did get republished, no longer showed Quaraun and his UNICORN LOVER and instead showed Quaraun and his Unicorn who was NOW A SHAPE SHIFTER (something BoomFuzzy was NOT prior to 2014) who took a Human-like form in many scenes.

His TRUE FORM is the lilac Shetland Pony.

The little black man he transforms into is the illusion glimmer spell form.

Remember, BoomFuzzy's magic is bizarro unicorn magic that defies laws of physics. BoomFuzzy the Unicorn is the only known Unicorn in existence, an absolutely unique and astoundingly rare creature.

BoomFuzzy, the novel, a 750 page novel that sold over a million copies in 2014, is literally about BoomFuzzy's candy shop where he makes candy, including unicorn shaped peppermints. BoomFuzzy's BoomFudgy Chocolate Cover Apricots are a pivotal and legendary candy in the series, most notably because it was the last thing he made before he injected them with poison and then ate one to kill himself, an event that directly resulted in Quaraun's becoming a necromancer specifically so he could resurrect BoomFuzzy as a Lich, but because Quaraun was drunk, he resurrected BoomFuzzy as a purple unicorn. BoomFuzzy now back from the Swamp of Death, returned to candy making and pastry cheffing.

Also in the above mentioned novel is a scene, which shows the young, innocent, and still a virgin Moon Elf, find a tiny Unicorn, the size of a goat, caught in a Human's trap. A horse normally would die from a broken leg, due to their delicate bone structure. The young virgin Elf freed the Unicorn from the steel jaws trap, and hid the dying horned pony in the marsh, then tended to it's injuries, caring for the unicorn for nearly 3 years before the tiny pony finally recovered the use of it's leg. The unicorn ran away, but never forgot the Elf who saved it.

Years later, when Quaraun (in a direct retelling of Rapunzel) was tortured and locked in the tower by his deranged father, the unicorn miraculously returned and rescued the dying Elf, roles reversing, as the Unicorn now took on initially a Moon Elf form to tend to the Elf's injuries.

The Elf was terrified of seeing a Moon Elf and the scene follows the Unicorn changing form many times becoming gnomes and drawfs and many other creatures, before finally transforming into the little black pygmy man, whom Quaraun was not frightened of. The Unicorn kept this form from that point after, and 2 of them later married.

It is long established in the series that Quaraun - a TINY WHITE FEMALE - is absolutely terrified of LARGE WHITE MALES after a childhood of beatings and sexual abuse. And this was why a PYGMY BLACK man did not scare Quaraun, and the reason for BoomFuzzy taking this form.

It is for this reason Quaraun says "Unicorn" or "my Unicorn" and never "BoomFuzzy", because BoomFuzzy literally IS an actual Unicorn.

Unicorn magic is a blend of My Little Pony Cuteness, Alice in Wonderland Absurdity, and McGees Alice's deranged insanity. And it includes BoomFuzzy's Fuzzy Wuzzy Fluffy Bunnies a box of peep like marshmallow bunnies coating with glistening pink sugar, that when thrown "Worms 3D Holy Hand Grenade Style" at someone they turn into "Monty Python style Vampire Bunnies" that act as BoomFuzzy's personal army.

But many readers have taken issue with BoomFuzzy being a black man - to the point that it is why I no longer have email, because one reader too to DAILY writing 10k+ word long emails, railing white power black-hating craziness, for the space of multiple years and I simply got rid of having email because I got sick of white readers having anti-black meltdowns at me every day. These readers quite simply forgot that BoomFuzzy the UNICORN, is LITERALLY A HORSE and is NOT a man at all.

BoomFuzzy is not a man. He was once—a vile, demonic Faerie war-HORSE, a blood-soaked pastry baking UNICORN king whose empire fed nations their own dead—but that was a lifetime ago. On the hundredth anniversary of his death, he clawed his way back from the grave as a Lich, and what returned was something colder, crueler, and utterly unkillable.

Now he is immortal. Cut off his head, he reattaches it. Burn his body, he reforms in frost. Kill him, and he rises again, smiling through teeth of ice.

He is a Lich of frost and famine, whose kiss draws the warmth from the living, freezing their blood solid in their veins. He commands necromantic ice magic, conjuring blizzards from his breath, snowstorms from his fury. His kitchens are meat lockers, his ovens tombs.

BoomFuzzy is a culinary god of death who wields his chef’s knives with the elegance of a ballet dancer and the precision of an autopsy. His sous chefs are goblins. His ingredients? Anyone who displeases him. He is obsession incarnate—possessive, jealous, feral with love for Quaraun.

And he is not a joke. His crude flirtation, his lewd innuendos—they are weapons of psychological war, not humour. His rage simmers beneath every pun. His hunger is endless. He has murdered whole cities for daring to look at Quaraun the wrong way. He is the UnSeelie King, an undead tyrant, and when he says “I love you,” he means “I own you,” and he will freeze the world to prove it.

BoomFuzzy is also half-Human. His mother was a Mongolian/Chinese Human, which is why he wears distinctively Asian outfits, along with a great kilt worn as a cape. Known as BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, he often takes the form of a purple Unicorn. BoomFuzzy's exact age is unknown, though he was well over two thousand years old at the time of his death, and Quaraun resurrected him as a Lich around 500+ years ago, making him close to 3,000 years old.

In his BlackBird form he is fifteen thousand years old.

Greymorsh Liore
aka
GhoulSpawn

GhoulSpawn (Glinta; Ghouly; Gremlin)

Role: Minor background character. Quaraun’s shy admirer. The stabilizing third wheel of the trio.

Core Identity:

• Species: Sheep-Demon-Satyr.

• Origin: From literal Hell. Isekai’d to 1970s Earth, then Isekai’d to 40th century Earth. Hippie background. Terrified of this new, violent world.

• Appearance: Gold fleece, ram horns, digitigrade legs. Speaks like a nervous wreck.

• Power: Fire summoner, growing into powerful magic. Cannot lie. Will surpass both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy in time.

Personality:

• Stoic, emotionally flat, often overwhelmed and overstimulated.

• Cannot understand humor; jokes confuse or distress him.

• Gentle, submissive, devoted to Quaraun, terrified of BoomFuzzy.

• Analytical, obsessive, detail-oriented. Loves Quaraun but feels inferior.

• Speaks in long, breathless, run-on sentences with Polysyndeton, Congeries, Metanoia, and Eutrepismus. Frequently self-corrects mid-sentence. Says too much.

• Thinks aloud, overly explains everything, repeats phrases in panic.

GhoulSpawn is a Sheep Demon Stranded in a Nightmare.

• Emotionally flat, incapable of understanding humor, hyper-analytical, and completely overwhelmed.

• Not evil yet—but growing under the influence of these monsters.

• He follows them not because he wants to, but because he’s clinging to Quaraun like a trauma anchor.

• He’s not safe. 

• He’s unstable. 

• Emotionally numb Isekai'd Sheep-Demon slowly turning evil

• And his powers are escalating.

What he is NOT:

• Not comic relief.

• Not a sidekick with a conscience.

• Not there to balance out the evil.

He is the next monster in the making.

• He was The Pink Necromancer's NEXT attempt at resurrecting UnDead, only he's not yet dead; he's still alive, but because he is young and eager to please his elders, he's now being sculpted and molded by both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy, into becoming Cheeka, the most deadly monster The Pink Necromancer ever built.

Glinta aka GhoulSpawn the Crazed:

Their on again-off again mad scientist golden fleeced Sheep Demon lover: GhoulSpawn with his 1974 AMC Gremlin time machine.

GhoulSpawn was born on a boiling, fire planet, but as a small child was summoned to 1959 Earth by Humans with a ouija board. He lived among Humans, getting a PhDs in Quantum Physic and AstroPhysics, invented time travel, built a time machine, and then in 1978, fell through a portal, and is now trapped in 40th century Maine.

Being a Demon from literal Hell, he has natural elemental abilities with fire and can summon hell creatures.

He is Quaraun's apprentice, and feared by Humans to be on a fast track to becoming more powerful than either BoomFuzzy or Quaraun.

The Rift-Walker – Hell’s Chronomancer, Demon of Portals, Summoner of Infernal Livestock

GhoulSpawn is a walking black hole in reality—a Sweeney Todd of the space-time continuum, whose trauma-choked mind opens gates to other realms the way others draw breath. He is the greatest chronomancer in existence, a Sheep-Demon Satyr displaced by centuries, abandoned in a frozen hellscape, and now loyal only to Quaraun. His hooves leave scorched snow behind him. His golden omega eyes never blink. And when he speaks, it is with robotic honesty and unnerving exactness—truth only, always, emotionless, sterile, and terrifying.

He cannot lie. He cannot joke. He does not understand laughter. But he understands orders—and when Quaraun gives them, entire villages are erased in molten firestorms, devoured by bleating obsidian sheep, or dragged into alternate timelines that never end.

GhoulSpawn is no child. He is not innocent. He is the Omega Gate, a biological weapon, soft-spoken and broken, but capable of unraveling oceans when triggered.

He speaks in spirals, breathless and endless, overwhelmed by too much memory and not enough grounding. He opens rifts that cannot be closed. He is terrified of BoomFuzzy but obeys him without question.

GhoulSpawn does not laugh when the world burns. He just watches the flames, counts the corpses, and waits for Quaraun to tell him where to strike next.

Due to his messing around with time travel, there are 5 different versions of him which appear throughout the series, each from different dimensions and alternate time lines, each one uses a different name (Glinta, GhoulSpawn, Gremlin, Checka, ZooLock - while GhoulSpawn is the one seen most often, Gremlin is in fact the correct original one).

GhoulSpawn is very young, not yet 50 years old.

The Gremlin version of him is around 500 years old, while the Checka version of him is thirteen thousand years old, and the ZooLock version of him is stated to be "old as time".

 | The Series Prologue | 

| Writing & Creating the Characters |

Sample scene that shows you his personality in story: 1 START OF SAMPLE 1- "How dare you call me INSANE, you fucking cockroach! LOOK AT MY HANDS! I cannot move my fingers. They are broken, have always been broken. Crushed when I was a child. Crushed in the windmill grinding stone by my vile father. Why do you think I killed him? LOOK AT MY HANDS! They fused together when they healed. Twisted. Clawed. Useless. I wear these mechanical gold-plated gloves that move for me, move just just enough to hold my cane or pull my robes closed or push my walker or roll my wheelchair. I cannot use my hands. I cannot walk far either. I shuffle. I wheel. I lean. I hobble. I limp. I drag my damned leg. Sometimes I fall. Sometimes I have to be carried and I hate it! You here me? I hate it! I have handmaids. Dozens. They help. I hate needing help. But I must--" The Human opened his mouth to speak, but Quaraun immediately shoved his Rainbow Wand up the man's nostril. "Shut your fucking mouth, or I will blow your fucking brain out your nose. You KNOW I will, you vile dirty Human. Don't you dare try to interrupt me. I am pontificating here. No one interrupts my pontificating. Especially not some vile cockroach of a Human who just got done calling me Quaraun the Insane, while saying I was emotionally frail. I am not weak in mind. I am not fragile in thought. I am old. I am slow. I am careful. I speak slowly, act precisely, because I must. Not because I am afraid. My hands do not work. My legs do not work. But my magic still does. And my mind... I never stop thinking. I am not fragile. I am broken. And I kill ANYONE who fucking calls me The Insane!" "Love, just kill the wee bastard and get it over with," BoomFuzzy said. "It faster then boring him to death with ya villain arch pontificating." "I AM NOT A VILLIAN," Quaraun shrieked hysterically as he spun around and rammed his Rainbow Wand into BoomFuzzy's nose. "No?" "NO!" "Huh. Really?" "Stop contradicting me!" "Eh, coulda fooled me. Here I were thinking the Pink Necromancer was a great big bad villain all these years." "Stop confusing me!" Quaraun shrieked hysterically as he whupped his wand on the old Phooka's nose. BoomFuzzy casually flicked the wand away from his face. "You take that back right now!" "What ya gonna do, blow my brains out now? Fat lot a good that'll do. I'm a fucking Lich. Kill me I ain't gonna stay dead. Ya'll just get me ectoplasmic brain goo all over ya dress, and piss me off at the same time. And once yer dress is dirty, ya know I'm just gonna wanna rip it off and fuck ya. Then how ya gonna kill the bastard? Ya'll be too busy running ya crippled lil pearly white arse away from me horny cream filled chocolate eclair." "Uhm, guys," GhoulSpawn interrupted. "Shut the fuck up ya fucking Goat, I'm seducing me Elf," BoomFuzzy roared. "Uhm, okay. I'm a sheep, by the way. Also, the Human's escaping. He like, just climbed out the window." "DAMN IT!" Quaraun shrieked as he shoved GhoulSpawn and BoomFuzzy out of his way and hobbled past them in a fury of resplendent rhinestone encrusted limping pink silks. "How the hell am I supposed to catch him? You know I can not run!" "Ah, the better to boink ya then!" "Can you stop being horny for five damned seconds?" "Nope. I's'a horny unicorny." BoomFuzzy immediately poufed and transformed into a fluffy lilac coloured Shetland pony with a gleaming silver horn. "Think o' the places I can think to stick me horn in." "Stop trying to fuck me, and go fuck that damned fucking Human instead!" "Aye-aye, Captain! With the utmost of pleasures!" BoomFuzzy POUFED again and vanished. "Uhm," GhoulSpawn stammered. "Now what?" Quaraun snarled. "Uhm, are you sure you worded that last order to Boomie the way you think you did?" "What did I...?" "Well, I think you like meant to tell him to kill the Human, but I think you were like talking so fast and not paying attention to what exactly you was saying--" "Spit it out, Glinta." "I think you told him to have sex with the Human." "I did not... wait... DAMN IT! UNICORN GET BACK HERE!" -END OF SAMPLE 1 Sample scene that shows you his personality in story: 2 START OF SAMPLE 2- Quaraun, the legendary Pink Necromancer, most feared, most evil wizard known in all the history of all the solar systems five inhabited planets, was hard at battle. Quaraun gripped the smooth wooden handle of his broom, his cold blue eyes wild with rage. The broom wielded like a deadly wand, ready to cast a spell to vanquish his dastardly foes. “Fiendish creatures, foul spiders! I shall have none of you crawling upon me!” he spat, flicking his wrist and twisting away to avoid an errant clump of dust. “How dare you defile my pristine pink silks!” Wisps of dust swirled up in chaotic bursts as Quaraun pounded his broom against stone walls and grimy shelves, flinging cobwebs in all directions. “I hate dust and dirt and spiders and cobwebs and bugs and mites and motes!” He aimed his RainBow Wand at a pile of mildewed crumpled up newspapers in the corner. With a zap they disintegrated into ash, sending even more dust flying around the musty cellar of the ruined library. Clouds of dust filled the air, filling every crevice, stretching out, thick with the scent of blight .The ashes rained down on The Pink Necromancer. “HOW DARE YOU COVER ME WITH ASHES!” he shrieked hysterically. “Love,” BoomFuzzy said quietly. “Ya did that one to yarself.” “YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!” Quaraun swung the broom at BoomFuzzy, who put both hands up and backed away. In one hand, Quaraun clutched his broom like a knight brandishing a lance, in the other his Rainbow Wand was sparking angrily, mirroring his temper. “This place is vile!” he shouted, voice cracking with disdain. “It is attacking me with its filth!” “Love, leave the filth alone and it’ll stop attacking ya.” “Does he not realize he’s causing the dust storm?” GhoulSpawn asked. “Him ain’t got enough brain to know dust stays settled when ya does no touch it. Of course him being a JellyFish living in the corpse of a dead Elf, him hasn’t got no brain to begin with.” “DIIIIIE!” Quaraun screamed as he ran past BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn, and took to beating an old rusted trash can with his broom. “I think I’m starting to see why people call him ‘Insane’.” “Aye.” “I AM NOT INSANE!” Quaraun shrieked, as he continued pummelling the trash can. Quaraun’s face contorted in a grimace as he swung at the cobwebs clinging to the cellar’s rafters. Layers of dust, undisturbed for centuries, erupted in clouds around him, spiralling through thick, stale air. With each sweep, his mood darkened, convinced the spiders in their webs were conspiring against him. “These spiders are out to get me!” Behind him, BoomFuzzy’s loud, raspy laugh echoed through the vast, stone-cold cellar. The floor shifted under his barefoot steps, the boards creaking with the strain of his movement as he chuckled at Quaraun’s panic. “Ya actin’ as though they’ll swallow ye whole.” “You know what spiders are like! How big they can get.” “How big can spiders get on this planet?” GhoulSpawn asked BoomFuzzy. “Bigger than me food truck. There’s some wat can eat elephants.” “So his fear isn’t totally irrational.” “It ain’t the spider’s he’s afeared of. It the dust.” “Will you two help me!” Quaraun yelled. “Maybe, Love. Watch yer step!” Quaraun glared back at him, still striking the webs with an intensity that made BoomFuzzy’s amusement soar. GhoulSpawn wiped the grime from his hands with his green coat, coughing from the musty scent of decayed paper and forgotten history. “Quaraun, can you not approach this rationally?” he asked. “We’ve got a task here. Remember? You was looking for some grimoire or something. Besides, dust and cobwebs are hardly threats.” “They are to me!” Quaraun retorted, brushing an imaginary cobweb from his silken pink robe. He sniffed indignantly, his nose wrinkling with disdain. BoomFuzzy, leaned lazily against an overturned, broken table, finding clear enjoyment in Quaraun’s one-Elf battle against dust bunnies and cobwebs. “Ye’ll no’ win against every cobweb in a dead library, JellyElf,” he teased. BoomFuzzy’s eyes glinted in the dim light, his voice straining to suppress laughter. “Too many of them.” Quaraun’s glare sliced through the gloom, and he swatted at another cobweb. “Every last spiderweb must fall,” he hissed. “All of them! Or I will suffocate under their wretched hold!” “Stop being so dramatic.” “This is ridiculous,” GhoulSpawn muttered. “Of all the things to fear, Quaraun, it’s dust?” “Dust conceals dangers,” Quaraun replied sharply, flicking his broom through another web, scattering grey wisps into the air. “Cobwebs harbour pests. Filth carries death! Disease! Germs! Parasites! Filth! I hate filth! Hate! Hate! HATE! I HATE this filth!” Each word sharpened his focus, as if he faced some great enemy he had to conquer. Each word louder then the one before it. With each louder word, a harder slap with the broom. “There is a treasure here,” Quaraun said between coughing. “I can feel it. And I can find it. If this dust would stop attacking me long enough to find it!” The cellar spread out before them, dark and foreboding. Toppled shelves groaned beneath the weight of collapsed stones and centuries of neglect. Books and relics lay scattered on the floor. Faded pages melding into piles of dust. Fragments of history lost in the underbelly of this ancient library. BoomFuzzy squatted beside a shattered bookshelf, running his fingers through the dust with a pensive expression as he peered at the decayed remnants. “No treasure ‘ere, me wee JellyElf,” he said thoughtfully. “Looks like it’s all dead and gone.” “Or is it?” Quaraun mumbled, suddenly intrigued by a faint glimmer beneath a nearby stone slab. “Unicorn, what is this?” Quaraun tilted his head, brows knitting as he examined the dusty corner where something was lodged. His fingers itched with curiosity as he knelt, shifting the slab and sending a cascade of dried beetle carapaces clattering to the ground. “Ugh! Gross!” Quaraun jumped back, furiously shaking his skirts. “Get them off me! Argh! Help! Bug guts! I’m covered in bug guts! Get them off me!” GhoulSpawn watched as the Pink Necromancer ran around the room, shrieking hysterically about bug guts on his dress. “How does he get anything done?” “He doesn’t.” BoomFuzzy laughed. “Ever noticed how neat and clean our lighthouse is?” “I had, actually.” “Him spend hours every day cleaning everything. Heaven forbid a speck of dust dare set foot in his house.” “Ain’t he supposed to be the world’s most feared super villain or something?” “Yep.” “How did he get that title when he acts like this all the time?” “Him acting like THIS all the time IS how him got that title, Ghouly. Think about it. Him waving that wand around blasting half this room apart. Think how much damage him does in a crowded city street acting like this.” “Yes. I see what you mean.” BoomFuzzy shoved the stone slab over some more. The clattering shells echoed in the stillness, sending a shiver through Quaraun. He frowned at the scattered beetle fragments, remnants of insects long since dead. BoomFuzzy peered over his shoulder, his face widening with mirth. “Ye afraid of the carapace too, now?” “Dead things carry diseases.” “Ya’re a necromancer. Dead things is what you deal with every day.” “I avoid touching dead things.” “What about me?” “What about you?” “I’m a Lich. That means I’m dead.” “Oh yeah. I keep forgetting about that.” Quaraun’s broom swung again, brushing the carapaces out of the chamber under the stone slab, revealing something unusual — a large, tattered scrap of parchment buried beneath a thick layer of dust. “Oh! What is this?” “Yis a necromancer who avoids dead things and forgets ya Lich husband be dead.” Quaraun ignored him, reaching cautiously into the small gap where the stone had rested. His fingers closed around a thin, crinkled sheet, weathered and brittle to the touch. -END OF SAMPLE 2 The Cellar’s Forgotten Treasure -{A Pink Necromancer Kishōtenketsu Prosimetrum} — {NaNoWriMo 2024: Day 07} 🦄🌸 Sample scene that shows you his personality in story: 3 START OF SAMPLE 3- BoomFuzzy stirred the bubbling cheese sauce with intense focus, the warmth of the dish filling the room, but his thoughts kept wandering. As his wooden spoon circled the pot, he couldn’t help but imagine how delicious Quaraun’s perfectly sculpted bottom would be… slathered in this cheese sauce. BoomFuzzy stopped stirring the bubbling melted cheese, while trying to decide what per cent of his time he would devote to Quaraun’s ass verses what per cent of time he would devote to cooking, if Quaraun’s ass and cooking food were the only two things he had to dedicate his life to. “Dude!” GhoulSpawn yelled, breaking BoomFuzzy out of his lustful thoughts. “You’re like, totally burning the cheese, man!” BoomFuzzy quickly pulled the pot off the burner, scowling. “Damnit! Quaraun’s fucking arse made me burn me cheese sauce. Now I have to start over.” Quaraun, who had been seated at the table, a slight frown on his face as he adjusted the silver chains that connected his ear to his nose, blinked in confusion. “What did I do? I was not even over there!” Quaraun exclaimed, confused by the accusation. “What are you talking about?” GhoulSpawn plopped down at the table beside Quaraun, grinning. “He was daydreaming about your butt instead of stirring constantly and destroyed the molecular structure of the cheese.” -END OF SAMPLE 3 Macaroni and Cheese: A Creamy Pasta Dish Drenched in Melted Cheese, Often Topped with Breadcrumbs- It's Never That Easy Sample scene that shows you his personality in story: 4 START OF SAMPLE 4- BoomFuzzy trotted through the snow as a lilac Shetland pony, his goggles fogged, his silver eyes swirling beneath them. With a POUF, he transformed mid-step, returning to his usual blind Lich self in a swirl of mist and swearing. “Why do you look like that?” Quaraun asked, narrowing his eyes at the absurd contraption BoomFuzzy wore. “What? This?” BoomFuzzy tapped his face. “Zombie-Eyed Goggles. Just picked ’em off some dead hiker what fell off the cliff.” Quaraun glanced down the side of the perilous cliff. “How did you find a hiker down there?” “Easy. I stole the goggles afore I threw him off the cliff.” “Human hiker?” “Aye.” “Oh. well that’s fine I suppose. Too many Humans in this world.” “Aye.” “Why was a Human wearing those?” “Don’t know. Didn’t ask. I were too busy hauling his arse to the cliff while him were screaming ‘NO DON’T KILL ME PLEASE!’ Though he did say something about shadow Demons in a cave.” -END OF SAMPLE 3 If your ass ain’t freezing or your brains ain’t scrambled, you’re ain’t really trying Sample scene that shows you his personality in story: 5 START OF SAMPLE 5- “Do you have a permit to park it on the grass, sir?” The police officer asked BoomFuzzy. “What the fuck I need a permit for?” “Do you have a restaurant license?” “A what?” “Sir, I realize you are a tourist, so I’ll let you off with a warning, if you just pack up your things and move along.” “I am a chef. I feed the hungry, when the hungry flock to me food truck. These birds are flocking to me food truck.” “Sir, you can not feed the pigeons.” “Why?” “Because it is against the law, sir.” “Well, ya can take ya law and kiss me fucking chocolate arse!” BoomFuzzy then, quite deliberately, lifted the back of his kilt. Quaraun slapped his gloved hand to his face. The pigeons exploded into a flurry of wings and delighted cackles. “MOON’S OUT!” BoomFuzzy hollered. “ME ARSE’S IN BLOOM! HERE’S WHAT I THINK O’ YER SIGN!” The officers sputtered. One pulled out a clipboard and began furiously writing tickets. The other reached for his radio. “We need back up at Mechanic’s Park.” BoomFuzzy calmly adjusted his goggles, turned back to his food truck, and resumed flipping dumplings. “They love it, ye know,” he said to the pigeons. “Hot oil, crispy cabbage, no onions, none of that nasty shite that upsets me Elf.” Quaraun buried his face deeper in his robes. “If I pretend I am not with him, maybe the police will not notice me,” Quaraun muttered to himself. ... “BoomFuzzy is mooning the cops again," GhoulSpawn said to Quaraun. "But, uhm, you know, front ways now instead of his bum.” Quaraun turned to look back. Indeed, BoomFuzzy was doing exactly that. This time, while holding a tray of dumplings high above his head like an Olympic torch. “COME GET ‘EM, YA PASTY WHITE BUREAUCRATIC LEECHES!” The pigeons, now emboldened by performance art, had begun to poop. Everywhere. One particularly vengeful bird released its payload squarely on Quaraun’s shoulder. He screamed. “OH MY FUCKING GODS! IT IS IN MY HAIR! THERE IS PIGEON POOP IN MY HAIR!!” BoomFuzzy wheezed with laughter. “Ye’re blending in! The birdies like ye now!” “DO NOT MOCK ME! I HAVE JELLYFISH HAIR! IT IS TANGLED IN MY TENTACLES!” GhoulSpawn attempted to help by offering a napkin he had clearly just lifted from the police car’s glove-box. It was covered in ketchup. “NOW THERE IS KETCHUP IN MY PIGEON POOP!” Quaraun shrieked hysterically. “I AM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!” “You say that like it is not foreplay,” BoomFuzzy muttered. Quaraun stormed off in a trail of pink silks, slipped on a damp log, fell on his side, and lay there, defeated. “This day,” he moaned. “Is cursed.” A pigeon landed on his head and pooped on his face. “Of course you did.” ... “Everything is broken!” Quaraun hissed. “My pride. My hip. My mood. My damned dignity. All of it. Broken. I am pregnant. I am hungry. I have a litter of kits kicking my bladder. I need to take a piss. Unicorn is fighting with Human city guards—” “Police officers. They are called police officers here.” “And I have pigeon poop on me.” “Right, yes, okay, so, I’m gonna help you up now, just like, lean on me, okay? I mean, you’re not very tall, or strong, or uhm, your walker and your wheelchair are both in the food truck, you think you can get up with just your cane? I can support your weight and, like, be here, for you, emotionally, which maybe is helpful?” “I do not want emotional support,” Quaraun snapped. “I want a dry bench, a bowl of hot dumplings, and to never look at another pigeon police officer again.” “I think you mean a pigeon or police officer.” “I said what I said, now help me up.” “Yes, right, okay, helping you up now.” A thunderous SQUAWK answered him as an entire flock descended from the sky, lured by a pastry flung high into the air. BoomFuzzy was now running full manic circles around his pastel blue food truck, hurling crème-filled éclairs and glittering strawberry tarts with the reckless passion of a sugar-fuelled Fae tornado. Dreadlocks flying, kilt flapping, one legged hop-skipping between benches and trash cans. “GETCHA FLUFFY PASTRIES, YA FEATHERED FUCKWITS!” he screamed, laughing madly. “WHO’S A FAT WEE BIRDIE, EH? GET IT WHILE IT’S WARM, YA SKY RAT BASTARDS!” Two very confused police officers sprinted after him, trying and failing to pin him down. “Sir! You’ve been asked to cease feeding the wildlife!” “Wildlife?” BoomFuzzy shrieked. “These ain’t wildlife, ya uncultured twats! These are me loyal diners! Me flock! Me customers! They PAY IN PIGEON POETRY AND SHIT ON FASCISTS!” BoomFuzzy stopped just long enough to hurl a fistful of powdered sugar into one cop’s eyes before jumping on the food truck roof. He twirled dramatically, mooned them again, struck a pose like some unholy combination of ballet dancer and deranged pirate, then lifted both arms high. “I AM THE AVIAN KING!” he roared. “That there across the street is my palace.” “That’s North Dam Mill, sir.” “That is the Elf Eater’s Palace, ya lout.” “Should we call the psych ward?” one officer asked the other. “Who the fuck do you think I am?” “You’re food truck is illegally parked, sir.” “My...? I AM THE ELF EATER OF PEPPER VALLEY, LICH KING OF THE UNSEELIE COURT! YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” A gust of ice-charged wind erupted around him. Spectral pigeons, shimmering with frost and moonlight, clawed their way into existence from the ether. They flew directly at the parked police car, talons of ghostly blue scratching deep into the windshield. SCREEEEEECH! The tires popped. The engine coughed and died. A side mirror exploded into a puff of black feathers. “THEY'RE EATING MY CRUISER!” the first officer shrieked into his walkie-talkie. “Code... I dunno, bird attack! Full Alfred Hitchcock going down here. We need back up! Magic birds! The Lich summoned fucking MAGIC PIGEONS!” The second officer, clipboard clenched in one hand, didn’t flinch. “Sir,” he said, approaching the still-dancing BoomFuzzy. “You are in violation of five—no, now six—city ordinances. I’m issuing you a citation for public indecency, feeding pigeons in front of the no feeding of pigeons sign, food waste, conjuring spectral wildlife, damaging municipal property, verbal assault of law enforcement, indecent exposure of gluteal region, parking without a permit, selling food without a licence. Let’s see, that’s one, two, three,...dugh, dugh,... eight, nine... yep. Ten. Ten citations. Please tell me your name, social, date of birth, and address.” BoomFuzzy slid off the roof, landed in front of the cop with a thump, and pointed a pastry at him like a weapon. “Shove that clipboard up yer arse sideways and call it a poopsicle,” BoomFuzzy growled. “Ya bureaucratic slab o’ soggy pork.” Quaraun groaned as GhoulSpawn pulled him to his feet. “This is escalating.” “Uh, yeah, kinda rapidly,” GhoulSpawn nodded, wide-eyed, gripping the Elf’s waist and shuffling them back toward the food truck. “Boomie doesn’t like authority, does he?” “No, he is used to being the king. He is used to giving orders not taking them.” “And like, you know how close the station is, right?” “Station?” “The police station. Headquarters. It’s just up on Foss Street. I mean, I know it’s like, just two blocks away, and I don’t wanna sound alarmist, but we’ve got maybe ninety seconds before we’re surrounded by even more cops, and Boomie’s already committed a minor war crime.” “I told him not to feed the damned pigeons,” Quaraun muttered, half dragged, half limping toward the truck. -END OF SAMPLE 4 Feed The Fucking Pigeons Sample scene that shows you his personality in story: 6 START OF SAMPLE 6- “You stole from a shadow cave?” Quaraun stood suddenly, immediately lost his balance, and collapsed sideways off the bench. “DAMN IT! My hands do not work!” he wailed. “I can not push myself up! Why did I SIT on that…that…that… THING?!” Quaraun tried to rise, but only flailed helplessly in the snow. “Help me up! My legs are frozen!” BoomFuzzy casually pulled the Elf upright and dusted him off. “There. Better, my precious drama queen?” “No. I am going to kill you both and then myself, so I can haunt the fucking shit out of both of you!” “That’s the spirit.” GhoulSpawn looked down at the rusty chains, still twitching in his hands. “I think these are cursed.” “No shit,” BoomFuzzy muttered. “Can I keep them?” GhoulSpawn asked. -END OF SAMPLE 6 If your ass ain’t freezing or your brains ain’t scrambled, you’re ain’t really trying Sample scene that shows you his personality in story: 7 START OF SAMPLE 7- Quaraun scowled at the vendor’s careless arrangement — heaps of red perfection spoiled by bruised, lumpy rejects. Caked clumps of dried grey clay flaked off the basket. He leaned on his cane, muttering about the lack of elegance. A perfect apple could be polished, then dipped in wax of resin and made into a lustrous charm to hang on his loom or a pigment for his silks. Yet the thought of dirt on his hands made him shiver. “Love, just pick one!” BoomFuzzy called, laughing. “Not until they sort this mess!” “What mess?” Cried the vendor. “This filth!” Annoyed, Quaraun jabbed his cane at the display. “Do you not care about presentation? Where is you artistry?” “My what?” “There is dirt on these apples.” “It washes off.” “You expect me to wash apples? Why would I pay for apples that needed washing, when I could get dirty apples for free along any road side meadow?” “Pay the man!” BoomFuzzy yelled, as he left the stand. “Do you expect me to pay for filth?” “No! I expect ya to pay for a basket of apples, so I can make pies for your privileged pampered fat white ass!” “There is dirt on that basket!” ... “You gonna pay me?” The vendor asked Quaraun. “No!” “Pay him, ya eejit!” Quaraun was still bitching about the vendor’s lack of artistic skill. BoomFuzzy made his way through the market, still lugging the apple basket. “Come back here with my apples!” “Pay the man ya stupid JellyElf!” “NO! I refuse! My gold coins are perfectly polished. I will not exchange them for dirt and mud!” BoomFuzzy threw an apple at Quaraun, hitting him in the back of the head. ... BoomFuzzy shouted something about pies, while Quaraun threw a temper tantrum about gold coins and dirt. GhoulSpawn wasn’t paying attention. They were always bickering. It was what married couples did. GhoulSpawn watched the apples, his scientific mind at work. He calculated their density, hypothesizing how many Newtons of force their skins could withstand before rupturing. The vendor was yelling. “Humans are so loud and rude.” The apple BoomFuzzy threw at Quaraun, dropped to the ground and rolled to GhoulSpawn’s hooves, and he absently picked it up, turning it over. “Strange design,” he murmured. “Evolution favoured this? Low shelf life, minimal nutritional value.” A pair of police officers came jogging over in answer to the vendors yells, but GhoulSpawn barely registered it. Quaraun punched a cop in the face. Two more officers wrangled him to the ground. BoomFuzzy transformed into a Unicorn and came galloping back to jab a third officer with his horn. GhoulSpawn stepped around them, staring at the apple in his hand. He saw potential — a biological battery, its acidic juices conducting electricity in crude experiments. “Come back here with my apple!” The stars would wait. This apple had possibilities. GhoulSpawn stuffed the apple into his pocket, already considering modifications for future tests. “Stop stealing my apples, you filthy non-Humans!” GhoulSpawn picked up another apple and walked off munching it. “Stop! Thief! There goes another one!” ... The cell in the police station was as filthy as the apples. Straw scattered across the stone floor, rusty water was dripping down the wall, and the stench of mildew clung to the air. Quaraun perched delicately on the edge of the lone wooden bench, glaring at BoomFuzzy, who leaned casually against the bars, grinning as though nothing had gone wrong. GhoulSpawn sat cross-legged in the corner, tinkering with a loose nail he’d pried from the wall. “This,” Quaraun hissed, his hysterical voice sharp enough to cut through the gloom. “Is entirely your fault, Unicorn.” “Mine?” BoomFuzzy let out a hearty laugh. “Love, you’re the one who wouldn’t pay the man for his bloody apples!” “I will not pay for dirt!” Quaraun snapped. “They was apples, Love. Not dirt. A basket of apples. Not a jar of dirt.” “And you stole the basket!” “Aye, and I was gonna bake ya a pie!” BoomFuzzy countered, tossing his dreadlocks over his shoulder. “Ya ungrateful wee JellyElf. I thought ya was just gonna give the man his coins. I didn’t know ya was gonna throw a hissy fit. In case your pampered white ass forgot, I happen to be Black! Cops are always looking for a reason to arrest me on that basis alone!” Quaraun crossed his arms, lips pursed in indignation. “My gold coins are polished. I will not hand them over for such filth.” “Coins are for spending, not collecting. Besides, the Goat was the one stuffing apples in his pocket!” “I’m a Sheep.” GhoulSpawn didn’t even look up. “And technically, the fault lies with the gravitational pull that caused the apple to fall and roll toward me. I merely followed the trajectory.” “You pocketed it!” Quaraun shot back, pointing accusingly at the Sheep Demon. “After he threw it at me!” “I was conducting experiments,” GhoulSpawn replied, unbothered. “Did you know apples can conduct a small electrical charge?” BoomFuzzy barked out a laugh. “See? The Goat’s the real thief!” “I’m a Sheep.” “Goat. Sheep. Whatever. Ya still stole the apple!” Quaraun groaned, clutching his head. “Why do I travel with you two imbeciles?” “Because ya loves us and canna live without us.” An officer approached the cell, banging a nightstick against the bars. “Keep it down in there! You’re disturbing the other prisoners.” “FUCK YOU YA FUCKING WHITE PIG!” BoomFuzzy yelled at the officer. “You’re lucky we got laws here,” the officer said. “If it was up to me we’d string all you Gypsy scum up on sight.” “How dare ya talk to me like that! I am King Gwallmaiic!” “Gypsy kings don’t hold no rank in these parts.” Quaraun rose, leaning heavily on his cane as he glared at the guard. “Do you know who I am?” “Some stuck up prissy Elf who’s travelling with a gang of Black Gypsies and been arrested for assaulting an officer while resisting arrest for apple theft,” the officer replied, unimpressed. “I did not steal any apples!” “You assaulted an officer of the law.” “He assaulted me first!” BoomFuzzy doubled over, laughing. “Oh, Love, ya ain’t gettin’ out of this one with yar fancy words! I’m Black and ya was in my company, that’s enough to get ya a life sentence in these parts.” “Enough!” Quaraun snapped, turning back to BoomFuzzy. “You will fix this, or I’m never eating another one of your pies again.” BoomFuzzy wiped a tear from his eye, still chuckling. “Fine, Love. I’ll bake ya a pie in here. Goat, grab us some straw. I’ll make a crust.” “I’m a Sheep. And making pie crust out of straw, while probably possible, is not going to taste very good, plus it’ll be unsanitary given the conditions of this room.” Quaraun sank back onto the bench, burying his face in his hands. “I am surrounded by fools and idiots. Idiots and fools.” “I thought I told you to shut up!” Quaraun grabbed his cane and swiftly limped back to the barred door, narrowing his icy blue eyes at the guard. “You dare speak to me in such a tone?” The guard, a stout man with a scraggly beard, smirked. “And what are you gonna do about it, fancy Elf? Pout me to death?” Quaraun’s silver hair shimmered in the dim torchlight as he reached into his robes, withdrawing his Rainbow Wand. The gem-encrusted rod glinted ominously as he raised it. “I’ve incinerated fools for less. Do not test me.” BoomFuzzy snorted, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the wall. “Love, maybe don’t turn the whole place into ashes? I don’t fancy spending the next century undead and buried under rubble.” The guard stepped closer, tapping his baton against the bars. “That’s a pretty stick you’ve got there, Elf. Why don’t you hand it over before you hurt yourself?” Quaraun’s grip tightened. His knuckles would have whitened if not for the gold sheen of his prosthetic hands. “Hand it over? Do you even know what this is? This wand has ended kings. It has — ” “Made a lot of noise,” GhoulSpawn interrupted from the corner. Quaraun turned, scowling. “What are you doing?” GhoulSpawn held up the nail he’d been fiddling with. “Picking the lock.” The guard laughed. “With that? You’ve got better odds of waiting for the next ice age to melt.” Click. The cell door swung open with a groan. BoomFuzzy burst out laughing, slapping his thigh. “Goat, yar a bloody genius!” “I’m a Sheep,” GhoulSpawn muttered, stepping into the corridor. The guard fumbled for his keys, but Quaraun moved faster, aiming his Rainbow Wand. A crackling bolt of multicolored light shot forth, exploding the baton into a shower of splinters. The guard yelped, diving for cover. “That’s what happens when you insult an Elf,” Quaraun declared, striding out of the cell with his cane clicking sharply against the stone floor. BoomFuzzy followed, still chuckling. “Love, yar dramatics are as shiny as yar wand. Let’s get outta here before the whole bloody city shows up.” GhoulSpawn led the way, his cloven hooves clacking softly as he navigated the dimly lit corridors. “We need an exit. Preferably one not swarming with guards.” Quaraun sniffed disdainfully. “I shall blast through any guards who dare approach.” “Or,” GhoulSpawn countered. “We could be smart and not announce our presence with fireworks.” BoomFuzzy slapped Quaraun on the back, nearly toppling him. “He’s got a point, Love. Subtlety’s not yar strong suit.” “I am subtle!” Quaraun protested, straightening his rhinestone encrusted neon pink silk robes. -END OF SAMPLE 7 3 Perspectives on an Apple And while we are here... let's answer the question of why is it so many prudes are convinced my series is Erotica and why so many virgins come away from my books 100% convinced they read a sex scene, even though the series is not Erotica and contains ZERO sex scene... it does however contain scenes like this: Sample scene that shows you his personality in story: 8 START OF SAMPLE 8- Quaraun ignored him. Too focused. This was delicate work. This was art. This was necromancy. Not your Sunday School bullshit. This was soul theft. This was communion with what should stay buried. This was why people feared him. BoomFuzzy laid the last crystal. Black tourmaline. Blood-soaked. Humming. “There.” He grinned, silver eyes glowing in the candlelight. “That ghost’s gonna pop out this ring like a titty swinging stripper out a cake.” Quaraun rolled his eyes. “Why are you like this?” “Because yer married me, JellyBean.” Quaraun did not smile. Just adjusted his wand. Polished glass shaft. Glowing dial. Turned it gold. BoomFuzzy whistled. “We goin’ Midas Touch tonight? Hell yeah, gimme that shiny ass hauntin’, baby.” Quaraun’s pupils shrank to slits. “Not gold for wealth. Gold for binding.” “Oh.” BoomFuzzy’s grin widened. “Kinky. Does it come in handcuffs with matching nipple clamps?” “You are impossible.” “I’m hard.” “I know. I can feel it. Back up and sit down.” BoomFuzzy flopped beside him. Cross-legged. Ready. Hungry. Horny. GhoulSpawn paced. “Something’s moving. I can see the air vibrating. That’s not normal. Nothing should vibrate like that. Something’s pushing back. It doesn’t wanna come.” Quaraun smiled. “Good. I want to break it.” -END OF SAMPLE 8 Haunting Rituals of the Night Sample scene that shows you his personality in story: 9 START OF SAMPLE 9- “GhoulSpawn,” Quaraun said coldly. “Did you steal this silver dildo?” “Uhm... yes?” “Do you not know?” “Uhm...” “Why?” “It... looked expensive.” “Where was it?” “In the mayor’s bedroom.” “WHY WERE YOU IN THE MAYOR’S BEDROOM?” BoomFuzzy howled with laughter. “Ya fuckin’ goat! Knows what ya like!” “I’m a sheep,” GhoulSpawn corrected. “I’m an Ursurig, not a Satyr or a Faun or a Glavstig. We have the legs of sheep not the legs of goats.” “How can ya tell, ya all look alike?” “Can you focus?” Quaraun interrupted. “I did not ask for him to steal sex toys! I asked him to steal useful items.” “What? Ya saying sex toys ain’t useful?” BoomFuzzy asked while pointing an accusing finger to a box full of sex toys near Quaraun’s bed. GhoulSpawn adjusted his glasses. “I thought you might... appreciate it.” Quaraun blinked. Looked at the object. Looked at GhoulSpawn. Blushed. BoomFuzzy cackled. “Don’t act like ya ain’t keepin’ it!” “I am not keeping—!” “It’s pink,” GhoulSpawn said quietly. “And shinny.” “And used!” “Aye,” BoomFuzzy agreed. “And about to be used again.” Quaraun scowled. “Fine. But sterilize it first.” “Come, Ghouly, help me sterilize this. We got us an Elf to triple stuff.” -END OF SAMPLE 9 Quick Quips With Three Wizards

Quaraun with his daughter Pippa and the pink striped silk tent

Quaraun with his daughter Pippa on Noodle Beach

Quaraun with BoomFuzzy and their red and pink heart decorated vardo

Quaraun with his daughter Pippa on Noodle Beach

Quaraun with BoomFuzzy in Crystal Caves

Books By Wendy Christine Allen
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