NaNoWriMo 2021 - New Untiled Quaraun Novel - being written live on Twitch - the WiP vomit draft for you to read as I write it is HERE |


You have reached Maine's largest and most trafficked website. 

The official website of Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies

As of February 2021, we are now getting up to 7 MILLION visits per day!

This is the home page of

Maine author, artist, Voodoo Priestess, Gypsy Queen, and art car designer:

EelKat Wendy Christine Allen

Chances are high, I'm the most famous person, you'll ever meet.

I am EelKat

The REAL Gypsy Witch Stephen King based his Thinner Gypsy witch off of

and owner of the REAL World's Most Haunted car,

the car Stephen King based his fictional Christine off of,

My family, we are the Gypsies you see in The Thinner, the movie was filmed on my farm,

Founder of The Procter & Gamble Boycott

EelKat of Squidoo, EelKat Voice of the Voiceless.

EelKat Etiole's Friend.

We are the Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, Scarborough, Wells, Kennebunk, Sanford, Bangor, and Palmyra, Maine.

This website started in 1996 and is updated, edited, and added to daily. (NOTE do keep in mind since the April 10, 2015 murder of my children, this site is no longer updated daily, and very few new writing articles are added any more - since 2015 updates have been about weekly and usually are about the continued ongoing investigation into the murder of my family.) 

As of 2021 it has more than 10,000 pages. However, only around 2,000 pages are indexed by search engines (robot blockers and/or passwords, prevent the rest from being findable by Google/Bing/Yahoo/etc.). Around 8,000 pages can only be accessed by clicking on direct links to them. The links are found on other pages on this site. Confusing? Perhaps. But whenever one of those difficult to find 8,000 pages gets traffic, I know that you are VERY dedicated in reading what I wrote or doing some stalker level digging to reach those search engine inaccessible pages and I'd rather not waste my time writing stuff for uninterested parties, plus it's fascinating to see how deep some people are willing dig to find every last word I wrote.

I published my first novel in 1978. Since then I have published 138 novels, 30 non-fiction books, 2,000+ short stories, a dozen plays, a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck comics, a few dozen novellas, and 10,000+ non-fiction articles.

I am asexual and famous for 4 decades of writing 100% sexless stories, laced in extreme blood-gore-and-violence. But in spite of that, in recent years, most people classify me as an Erotica author. I don't know why, as I've never written Erotica or even any sex scenes, and as I am a nun, raised as such from the age of 3, I wouldn't even know how to write sex or Erotica. If you came here looking for sex, BDSM, Erotica, or Dominatrix's, please return to whomever sent you and tell them to burn in Hell where their immoral ass belongs. Also, do tell me their name so I can put a curse on them, so they will never enjoy sex ever again, to punish them for spreading lies about me and connecting my name to anything related to sex at all. I find sex vile and despicable and want no part of your perverse degradation near me.

All of my fiction works are about Alien Elf Wizards who live in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. All of my non-fiction works are about the history of Maine, it's Gypsy Clans, and most especially Old Orchard Beach the town which was settled and founded by my family.

Most of these pages answer reader questions on the worldbuilding, character creating, plotting, writing, editing, and publishing process of my work. 

Others are on the history of my people, The Gypsies of Maine, our culture, our lifestyle, our cars, and our religion.

The rest of the pages are daily updates of the terrorist attacks by Maine's White Supremacists on my non-white family, including updates of the FBI investigation of the April 10, 2015 murder of my children.


Due to the murder of my family and the resulting court cases, police investigations, and FBI investigations, I no longer have time to daily update this website.

Likewise ALL novel, short story, and article writing projects are on hiatus.

All book releases, book signings, workshops, and convention appearances for 2015 (and unknown amount of time after) are on hold while the murder investigation of my family is ongoing.

Writing advice for the worldbuilding, character creation, and other writing how to articles are on hold.

From now on, the bulk of updates here will be about the investigation into the murder of my family.

No, NOT just THIS author website, not JUST the EelKat pename, not just self published books: ALL 15 (fifteen) of my penames are on hiatus, that includes traditional published books as well, newspaper reporting jobs, editing jobs, my work for Harlequin Romance Novels, my work for Disney... EVERYTHING is on hiatus. Every publishing house I work for, every series I write, every penname I write under: they are ALL on hiatus, ALL projects.

There is NOTHING being published under ANY penname, not for ANY series, not for ANY publisher, from 2015 onward. EVERYTHING is on hold due to the murder of my family. I do not know when or even if, any of the projects will be restarted or finished.

Yes, BOTH the magazines I owned are indefinitely shut down because of this as well, with no plans for either magazine to return. The publishing house I own is also closed to submissions from now on, we will no longer be publishing anything. It is unlikely we will reopen the publishing house either.

All book signing tours, workshops, letures, PAX events, ComicCon events, carnival/festival/state fair/car show events are also canceled. I will not be attending ANY of them. If a venue still has my name listed as a guest/speaker/etc it is because they've not yet removed it. I WILL NOT be there, no matter where it is! 


The ONLY thing continuing from this point on, is THIS website, where I'll post updates on the murder investigation, hopefully every week, but, you know how it is when 10 members of your family are beheaded, it's kind of difficult to have a schedule for anything anymore.

April 10, 2015 my 12 children were kidnapped,
from 146 Portland Ave. Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

May 15, 2015, ten of their heads were nailed to my door.

Do you have information?

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the 
Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case.

If you have information about the April 10, 2015 murder of my family 
or any of the attacks on our home and relatives, give it to him not me.
He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

The Beginning of the End
Into The Swamp of Death (novel excerpt)

Sample Chapter from:
Quaraun and the Vampire, Into the Swamp of Death
Volume 8 of
The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Quaraun said to Unicorn.

"I know. I have forgiven ya, Quaraun. I just have to re-learn to trust ya agains."

"I feel like I'm losing control of myself. I worry that a day will come when I do kill you because I no longer have enough self control to stop myself. I don't want you to die and I can't trust myself to not kill you. There is a healer, Massimara, she lives on Mount Yen, in Baironi. We should go there. She knows powerful magic, maybe she can do something to restore your sight and ease your pain. We can be there in a few weeks."

"Baironi?" BeaLuna interrupted. "Are you crazy? That's halfway around the world! You have to find a ship to go across the ocean. That alone is gonna take months. It'll be at least a year before we get there."

Quaraun turned his attention to the little pink haired, green skinned Flower Gnome and the Dwarf. He'd nearly forgotten of their presence. These past few weeks he'd worried only of Unicorn's failing health and had barely said a word to either the Orchid Gnome or the Mountain Dwarf who'd been travelling with them.

"I have a ship," Quaraun said.

"You have a ship? Since when?"

Quaraun reached into his bag of holding and pulled out a tiny glass bottle. Inside was a ship, floating in water.

"It's a flying ship. Fully crewed. It only takes days to cross the ocean in her. We...uhm...we...commandeered her in your absence. It was the first thing we did after leaving the Vulgar Alchemist Inn."

"That ship? We are gonna cross the ocean, on a ship that's barely two inches long and corked in a bottle?"

"Yes. I lived with the Di'Jinn for decades. My speciality is Genie Bottles, Phylacteries, and Bags of Holding. Remember? I used to own a shop and that's what I sold. I inadvertently helped to create the Lich Lords because I'm so good at what I do and, so also so good at getting caught in Faerie traps. Apparently, I have a weakness for the Fae and their drugged food."

BeaLuna glared at Unicorn. 

"Yeah, I'd say you do. Especially when it's a psychotic Faerie trying to get in bed with you. You just fall for that one every time. That's how you got stuck with this crazy Faerie and that lunatic BoomFuzzy you used to fuck around with before you started fucking around with Unicorn. Damn you Quaraun, you need to stop drinking Faerie wine and getting yourself fucked over by Phookas."

"Maybe him likes Faerie wine un getting him bahookie fucked by the Phookas," Unicorn said.

"I wasn't talking to you," the Gnome screamed. "I'm never talking to you. You're a raving lunatic and I don't want you near me."

"Him do be insane un ya does not mind him." Unicorn pointed to Quaraun.

"No, you keep him drunk on Faerie wine and he doesn't know whether he's coming or going any more."

"Quaraun, are ya not wanting me keeping ya drunk on Faerie wine so I can fuck yar wee lil ass?"

Quaraun looked back and forth from the Faerie to the Gnome. "How do you two turn every conversation into an argument about my sex life?"

"Well,” Bullgaar answered. “You're a male Elf dressed like a female prostitute she-slut, eunuch who took of vow of celibacy, claims to still be virgin, and you likes whoring yourself out to unicorns and male Faeries. Everyone wants to talk about your sex life, because no one else has one quite like it."

"Yes, well, while you and BeaLuna argue about my sordid sex life, I'm gonna take Unicorn to Mount Yenka, in Baironi to see Massimara. And BeaLuna, what's happened to you? You used to like BoomFuzzy. The only reason you didn't die with everyone else is because you didn't hate BoomFuzzy with everyone else. When did you start hating BoomFuzzy?" 

"That thing there," BeaLuna pointed to Unicorn as she spoke. "He's not BoomFuzzy, Quaraun. You gotta get that through your head. BoomFuzzy's dead and this creature is not him. This THING is a monster. He's a trickster. He's drugging you with Faerie Food and playing tricks on your mind. He's NOT BoomFuzzy and I don't have to like him. I can hate him all I want."

"Bullgaar?" Quaraun stood up and turned to the Dwarf. "Do you agree with her?"

"I did not knows the BoomFuzzy, fellah, but that Unicorn there, he's crazy. I wouldn't travel with him by choice. Don't trust him. Never trusted no Phookas."

"So you both don't like Unicorn."

"No, Quaraun," answered BeaLuna. "We don't. And neither of us like travelling with him."

"But you liked BoomFuzzy."

"No, actually, I didn't. I put up with him, because you liked him and it became impossible to spend time with you, without also spending time with BoomFuzzy. The two of you were never out of each other’s sight, same way you are with Unicorn now. You’re very clingy with your lovers, you know that Quaraun? And I couldn’t stand BoomFuzzy. He was taking advantage of you, Quaraun. He admitted it. I asked him once. And he came right out and told me he was only using you to get you to make those 13 phylacteries. Quaraun he built the damned Lich Lords and he was only pretending to like you, so you'd help him. He used you Quaraun. He did not love you. He never did. He killed himself in a Lich making ritual. 

“Quaraun he did not love you. You need to open your eyes and face that. BoomFuzzy was a horrible person who took advantage of the fact you are too stupid to know when people are using you. I never liked that about him. You were so in love with him, you couldn't see it. You didn't want to see it. You did what you always do. You pretended not to see what was right in front of you. He was using you, because you was a wizard. And the worst part of it was you knew he was using you and you just turned a blind eye to it! 

“You completely ignored what he was doing. You’re always doing that. You won’t look at things you don’t want to see. Everyone knew he was an evil Necromancer, and you even knew it, but you overlooked it. You overlooked how people started going missing after he showed up. You knew he was killing people, Quaraun.”

“BeaLuna,” Unicorn interrupted. “Ya shoulds stop whiles ya ahead un while ya still has a head. Ya does not know what yis doing.”

 “SHUT UP!” The Gnome screamed at the Phooka. “I can't stand you. You are every bit as bad as BoomFuzzy. You use Quaraun, just like he did. All you care about is sex. You don't give a damn about him. You know he's desperately mourning BoomFuzzy and you're taking advantage of that to get him in bed with you. You're worse then BoomFuzzy...”

“BeaLuna ya really needs to stop belittling BoomFuzzy, ya does nah know what Quaraun him did...”

Bullgaar punched the Faerie. “Stop interrupting the Gnome. I wanta hear her.”

“She really needs to stop...”

“Why?” BeaLuna demanded. “Because he can't take hearing the truth?”

“No, him can no face what yis saying tos him, BeaLuna, he really can no, ya does not know hows de Moon Elves did died...”

“And you do?”

“I were there. I saws what him did. They push him too far. Like yis doing now. Him can no take anything bad said of BoomFuzzy. We is soul bound, I know what him feels, I know ya is hurting him too much with ya words. Ya have to stop talking. Ya have to stop saying bad tings of the BoomFuzzy.”

“Oh you know this, why, because you love him?”

“Aye, I do, BeaLuna. I does love him. I loves him very much.”

“No, you don't. You just want to fuck him because you know it's easy to get him bed with you.  He only let’s you fuck him as long as you keep playing with his mind and confusing him with your talk of being BoomFuzzy.”

“I is BoomFuzzy, BeaLuna. Quaraun is Necromancer. Him not wee lil Elf ya knew. Him change. Him brought me back, ya has to believe that, before he kills ya. Him kills people now. Him kills a lot of people. Ya been away from him too long. Ya knows not hows much him change.”

“Only because he hangs around with you. And he only does that because you lie about being BoomFuzzy.”

“I is BoomFuzzy.”

“No, you're not. You're nothing but a damned shape shifting monster. That's all you are. You are not BoomFuzzy. You are are nothing but a deceptive Phooka. You're a trickster Faerie, deceiving people is what you do.”

“I knows what I is. I knows what I do. That does not change who I is. Who I was in life un what him did to bring me back. I is BoomFuzzy, Quaraun is a Necromancer, him brought me back.”

“I knew BoomFuzzy, and he wasn't you.”

“BeaLuna, please stop, ya hurting him.”

“She ain't hurting the Elf,” Bullgaar laughed. He was enjoying seeing the hurt expression on the Phooka's face. He didn't care about the Elf, so long as the Phooka was upset.

“Please, BeaLuna, ya knows what his father did, he is hurt enough...”

“I don't care. Someone needs to wake him up to the truth. He's been living in a dream world. He won't face reality because he too hung up on some lost lover, who never loved him in the first place. BoomFuzzy was a vile, evil, perverted monster. That bastard of a wretch never loved Quaraun. He knew Quaraun was stupid and easy to take advantage of. He messed with Quaraun's head the same way you are doing now. Quaraun's too retarded to know when he's being used, it's some many people keep taking advantage of him. I hate seeing you do it, just like I hated seeing BoomFuzzy do it.”

“BeaLuna please stop,” Unicorn pleaded, now sounded frightened. “Ya do'na know what ya doing.”


“Ya do'na know whats he has done. What him is capable of doing...”

“Oh and you do? You don't even know him. I've known him his whole life. You've only been in his life less then a year. You don't know him at all.”

“I is soul bound to him. I has been for centuries. I knows what him feels, what him tinks, un I know what ya words are making him feels right now un knows ya need to stop, because right now him be seeing ya the same way he saws hims father. Please stop. Ya do'na know what happens...”

“Shut up and leave me alone, you perverted beast! I hate you! I hate the sight of you! I hate the thought of you! I wish you'd drop dead! I hate you as much as I hated BoomFuzzy.”

Unicorn sat on the ground and stared at his hands. BeaLuna continued yelling at him. Unicorn was in fact BoomFuzzy and he was soul bound to the Elf and he could feel everything the Elf was feeling and right now, Quaraun's heart was filled with an overwhelming sadness that was crushing his spirits. It upset Unicorn that BeaLuna's words were upsetting Quaraun so much and he didn't know how to stop her. Unicorn liked BeaLuna, he didn't like that she didn't like him. But the thing troubling Unicorn the most was the fact that BeaLuna was unaware of Quaraun's ability to kill people simply by wishing them dead and right now, Quaraun was wishing the Gnome was dead. And every time Bullgaar added a snide comment, Quaraun was wishing he'd die too. Quaraun was a Di'Jinn wizard, trained by the Di'Jinn themselves, granting wishes is what he did, but never well. He simply wasn't good at it. And when he started granting his own wishes things went wrong. Horribly wrong. They always did. Unicorn had seen it happen more than once. He's only heard rumours of Kelim's village, but he'd seen the deaths of the Di'Jinn and the destruction of the Moon Elf Village, he knew full well what Quaraun was actually capable of.

BeaLuna and Bullgaar both thought the Moon Elves had been killed by the Lich Lords. 

Every one thought the Moon Elves had been killed by the Lich Lords. 

The destruction of the Moon Elf Village had been so sudden and so violent. Whatever hit them, hit them fast. Swooping down on them without warning. A horrific Lich's frost that instantly froze everything and everyone – that's what people said. It had never occurred to anyone to think that Quaraun had killed his own people to punish them for driving BoomFuzzy to suicide. Quaraun was so timid. So quiet. So peaceful. He was too busy planting roses and embroidering pink hearts on everything to think an evil thought. He was too stupid to know what was going on around him. Everyone knew this to be true. 

But then there was Kelim's village. Kelim, about to marry the daughter of Finderu. Kelim alone had survived. Everyone knew the stories – a Necromancer had walked into town and unleashed a Lich on the village. A Lich unlike any Lich the world had ever known: a black dragon, and not just any black dragon, but the Elf Eater's Dragon from Fire Mountain, the most feared dragon of them all, owned by the most feared Lich of all time, both of Lich and Dragon controlled by a psychotic pink robed Necromancer.

Finderu was the leader of the Wizardry Guild. It had been on his word that the order to banish Necromancers from the Guild had gone out. He was the one who had been pivotal in setting BoomFuzzy on his vengeful path of Lichdom. Somewhere in Quaraun's twisted mind, Finderu had been to blame for BoomFuzzy's death and so, Quaraun had let loose a DracoLich on him, and everyone in his village. Unicorn insisted Quaraun was that Necromancer that destroyed Kelim's village, and Quaraun himself admitted to what he had done, but BeaLuna would not hear a word of it, nor would she believe Quaraun had had any part in the deaths of his people.

Quaraun's mind was broken far more than the Gnome realized and he simply could no longer listen to anything said against BoomFuzzy, no matter who it was who had said it. It never occurred to anyone to think that everyone whom had ever said an unkind word to or about BoomFuzzy had a nasty habit of turning up dead.

Quaraun could hear no word against BoomFuzzy. Not even from his children. Four small children. The oldest only 9. Had come in one night singing a song they had overheard and knew not the meaning of. A song about BoomFuzzy and the joys of the world without him. A song that rejoiced in his death.

They were the first to die. Four small children, who never knew BoomFuzzy and knew not the meaning of the song they sung. Murdered at the hands of their own father. For he loved his children, but he loved BoomFuzzy more.

“I loved my children,” Quaraun said quietly.

“We aren't talking about your children Quaraun,” BeaLuna yelled. “Will you stop drifting off and pay attention!”

“That were the breaking point,” Unicorn said. He sounded terrified.

“I loved BoomFuzzy more.”

BeaLuna didn't know about Finderu and Kelim or what had happened to their village. She didn't know BoomFuzzy had been kicked out of the Guild for practising Necromancy and so Quaraun murdered every last Guild member. More importantly, BeaLuna didn't know about the children. Four little Elflings, singing a nursery rhyme their vile hearted mother had taught them. A horrible song, about a monster named BoomFuzzy. A horrible song whose words cut through their father's heart like a knife. That night their father put them in bed and then as they slept sliced their throats, then in a rage, turned on the village and killed every last Moon Elf, for their crime of not only driving BoomFuzzy to suicide, but also turning his beloved children against the Faerie he had loved so dearly.

BeaLuna didn't know how the children had died. But Unicorn knew. Unicorn knew that Quaraun loved BoomFuzzy with a devotion that defied logic and Quaraun would do anything to anyone, to defend BoomFuzzy's honour. Unicorn knew the danger BeaLuna was putting herself in, with this rant against BoomFuzzy. Unicorn knew what Quaraun was capable of and it frightened him terribly the dark thoughts that were now surfacing on Quaraun's tormented soul. 

“I loved my children,” Quaraun said again, sounding horrified and mortified. 

The guilt of having murdered his children weighed heavy on his mind. He'd gone too far and he knew it, but he didn't know how to stop. He knew the thoughts rising up in his soul now. How much he wanted to shut the Gnome up – forever. 

BeaLuna had been his friend since childhood. He loved her dearly, but he loved BoomFuzzy more and every word she spoke now, piled on more hurt of the pain that was already crushing the poor Elf's mind.

Quaraun walked away from the group, looking dazed and confused. He could not bare to listen to BeaLuna's words any more. He needed to get away from her. He wanted to be alone, to not listen to the hurtful words she had to say about BoomFuzzy.  But she followed him and continued to belittle BoomFuzzy’s memory.

“BeaLuna leave him alone...”

BeaLuna ignored Unicorn and followed Quaraun, still screaming at him.

“BoomFuzzy only seduced you because you were the local wizard. He knew you was the only one who could stop him, and he knew if he toyed with your heart, that you wouldn't stop him. He used you Quaraun. You are are incredibly stupid Quaraun, it’s so damned easy for people to take advantage of you, because you haven’t got enough brains to know any better. I don’t know how you survive. Of all the Moon Elves to survive, why you? You are too stupid to live and yet you’re the one who keeps on going while everyone around you drops dead. It’s dumb luck is what it is, is certainly ain’t survival of the fittest, you’re the farthest from being the fittest, and you’re just about the dumbest danged Elf I ever met.”

“You’ve meet an Elf dumber then he is?” Bullgaar asked.

“No. Bullgaar’s right. You’re the stupidest Elf I’ve ever met. You know how to do one thing and one thing only. Magic. That’s it. You are damned good at being a wizard, you’re the best danged wizard anyone’s ever seen, but you don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground about anything else. You think you know love. You don’t know love. You don't know when someone loves you. 

“You know how to love. I’ve never seen anyone love someone as much you loved BoomFuzzy, but he didn’t love you, and you’re too stupid to see that. He didn't love you. He never did. He used you, Quaraun.”

“I does love him, BeaLuna,” Unicorn said, not moving from his spot on the ground, hoping she'd come back to him and let Quaraun walk away.


“Leave him alone, BeaLuna.”

“You leave HER alone!” Bullgaar yelled as he punched the sick Phooka as hard as he could.

Unicorn let out a cry of pain. The Phooka fell back to his knees again. He was too weak to put up a fight. But his sharp yelp of pain, struck a nerve in Quaraun.

Quaraun stopped walking. He turned and stared at Bullgaar. The big Dwarf was a bully. He was bigger than everyone else in their group and he liked picking on the little sick Faerie. He liked pushing Unicorn around. He took every opportunity he could find to hit Unicorn and push him around.

Quaraun’s mind reeled. BeaLuna and Bullgaar were his friends, but now they had both turned on Unicorn. They belittled BoomFuzzy’s memory, while they attacked the dying Faerie that resembled him so much.

Quaraun had already lost BoomFuzzy before. He wasn’t gonna lose him again.

The old Phooka was new to their group. A stranger. There was no logical reason for Quaraun to defend him. But he was BoomFuzzy. Back from the dead. Of this Quaraun was certain. And now that BoomFuzzy was back alive, he would not lose BoomFuzzy again.

 “They both used you,” BeaLuna continued to yell at Quaraun. “BoomFuzzy and now him. He used you because, you’re so stupid that it’s easy for people to take advantage of you. Your father was right about him. He was a really bad person and your father was right to want to get you away from him."

"You agreed with my father?" Quaraun asked, quietly, looking at BeaLuna for the first time since she had started yelling at him. 

“We all agreed with your father.”

“No one hated BoomFuzzy more then my father did.”

Quaraun was used to being belittled, put down, teased, and called stupid by everyone around him. He’d grown up with the entire Moon Elf village treating him that way. His entire childhood had been spent, burying his nose in magic books to try to pretend he couldn’t hear the person beside him calling him stupid and retarded. 

Had Quaraun lived in a time when such things were known, doctors would have told his friends that Quaraun had Autism, and he excelled in silently sitting in one spot for hours on end not crying or showing any emotion at all while people told him he was stupid. People thought their words had no effect on him, because he sat silent, not crying, not showing any emotion at all. But inside he was screaming. Inside he felt like they were tearing him apart. Inside he wanted to tear their tongues out of their thoughts and make them shut up. But no one had belittled him more than his father. It hurt when people called him stupid, but it was soul crushing when it father had done it. He tried shutting out most of BeaLuna’s cruel words now, until she brought up his father.

BeaLuna continued to scream and yell, but Quaraun was no longer hearing it. His thoughts were thrown back to his childhood and the horrible abuse he had received at the hands of his father. Then his thoughts went to BoomFuzzy. No one had hated BoomFuzzy more then Quaraun's father had done.

"You agreed with my father?" Quaraun said again, this time to himself.

"Yes. On BoomFuzzy I did. And I'd agree with him on this too. He'd hate Unicorn and you know it. He'd hate that you were sharing your bed with this vile, perverted creature."

"My father was evil."

“No. Quaraun. He wasn’t.”

“He hated me.”

“No, Quaraun, he didn't.”

“He wanted me dead.”

"Quaraun, your father cared about you. He wanted a better life for you, then the one you were chasing after. He wouldn't want to see you wasting your life worrying about a trampy fuck-crazy Phooka who ain't worth a piece of shit. You used to have a mission and a purpose, until you met him, and now all you do is lean over and let that thing fuck you. You used to travel to help villages from the Lich Lords, now all you do is not travel for weeks because he's too old to be travelling and can't keep up, so we have to stop and pamper him. What you really need to do is find a healer, and then leave him there so you can get on with your life without this interruption in the way of everything."

“He reminds me of BoomFuzzy.”

“Quaraun, he's not BoomFuzzy.”

“I don't care.”

“Quaraun, you need to care, you're just gonna get hurt again.”

“I want BoomFuzzy.”

“He's not BoomFuzzy.”

“I don't care.”

“You need to care...”

“I love him.”

“Quaraun, why aren't you listening to me?”

“I AM listening to you. For the first time. I am hearing you. You hated BoomFuzzy just like everyone else did. I thought you were my friend. You’re just like everyone else. I don't want to hear you any more, you're annoying me.”

“He's not BoomFuzzy.”

“I don't care.”

“You're father would have cared.”

“I don't care what my father would have thought.”

“You're father didn't want you throwing your life away and I don't either.”

“He hated BoomFuzzy.”

“Quaraun, BoomFuzzy was evil. Your father didn’t want you hanging around with evil wizards.”

“He was not evil.”

“Yes he was.”

“You hated BoomFuzzy?”

“No, Quaraun. I hated the way he was using you.”

“You hate Unicorn.”

“Yes, I can't stand, Unicorn.”

“You hated BoomFuzzy and you hate Unicorn.”

“Quaraun, that is not BoomFuzzy, that thing is a monster. He's not even a person. He just morphs into that form to blend in. He's a monster. An actual monster. You know that. You've seen his natural form. You're the only one who really knows what he looks like. Quaraun, you KNOW he's not BoomFuzzy. You know he's not even remotely a person.”

“I was there, when BoomFuzzy died. I saw what he turned into after the illusions were gone. BoomFuzzy was a Unicorn. I know what he really is.  BoomFuzzy was a horse,” Quaraun turned and pointed to Unicorn. “He's a horse.”

“He's an animal!”

“He's a Unicorn.”

“He's a vile, filthy, perverted monster.”

“BeaLuna, leave him alone!”

Quaraun was yelling now. He was losing his patience with BeaLuna.

“You need him out of your life.”

“He's sick. He needs our help.”

“He's evil.”

“He's not evil.”

“He's a monster, Quaraun.”

“I don't care what he is. I love him.”

“You don't love him, Quaraun. You love the idea of him. You love the fact that he reminds you of BoomFuzzy. You only want him around because he's a shapeshifter and he can be BoomFuzzy for you. He can be BoomFuzzy in bed for you and that's what you really want. He can be anything or anyone you want him to be and you want BoomFuzzy and he's doing that for you. But he's not BoomFuzzy, Quaraun.”

“I don't care, BeaLuna.”

“You should. You should care. He's just using you for sex. He knows how sad you are without BoomFuzzy and he's using that to get in bed with you. He's pretending to be something he's not, so he can take advantage of you.”

“I don't care if he is. I am happy with this. I like this. I like him. I like bedding with him and shouldn't matter to you who I bed with. It's none of your business.”

“I care about you.”

“I know you do. But I'm never going to bed with you. I do not like females and you should know that by now. I'm never going to bed with you BeaLuna, you need to accept that.”

“You shouldn't be bedding with him!”


“Quaraun what are you gonna do when he dies?”

“He won't die.”

“Yes he will. Quaraun look at him. You said it yourself. He's old. He's sick. He can't get around on his own. We can't travel any more because he can't keep up. You want to end your quest to help people, so we can go out of our way, around the world, to find him a healer.”

“How is that not still me helping someone?”

“Because he's not someone. He's not any one. He's not anything at all. He's just a Phooka. He's a monster, that doesn't deserve to live in the first place. We'd all be better off if you just left him here and let him die.”

“I'm not leaving him behind.” 

“Quaraun, he’s a monster. We kill monsters. Fighting monsters is what we do. Normally we’d kill a Phooka. This one got in your head. He’s playing mind tricks on you. He’s pretending to be BoomFuzzy so you won’t kill him. Why can’t you see that? He’s disrupted our lives.”

Quaraun stared at Unicorn who was sitting on the ground, sullen and silent. While he usually joked about these things and tried to laugh at them, the things BeaLuna said to and about him, did hurt his feelings, and these past few weeks he was becoming too ill, too weak, to laugh them off any more. Right now, the Phooka was crying. Quaraun couldn't remember ever having seen Unicorn cry before.

"She do be right," Unicorn whispered hoarsely. "I has disrupted yar life.”

“No,” Quaraun answered. “You haven’t.”

“They hates me un they'll convince ya to leave me behind. No one ever stand by a Phooka long. I is used to it. It is why BoomFuzzy did died. Him could not take it no more. No one ever loves Phooka. We have to hide what we are if we wants to live with others. BoomFuzzy pretended to be Moon Elf, because it were the only way him could enter Elven village without being killit on sight. I has destroyed ya life."

Quaraun knelt beside the old Phooka and hugged him.

"No. You gave my life a meaning. It's alright," said Quaraun as he kissed the Phooka's face. "Don't listen to her. Their words mean nothing to me. Ignore the naysayers, it’s the only way you can make from one day to the next when you are different like we are. I know I’m not smart, but that doesn’t stop people from telling me I’m stupid every chance they can get. You have to learn to turn a blind eye to your pain and a deaf ear to their cruel words. They don’t care how much they hurt others or they couldn’t say the things they do. They think because I’m not smart, I have no feelings to hurt. They think because I don’t cry, I’m not hurting. The people who every day said bad things about BoomFuzzy, where the same ones who every day, said bad things about me. That’s why I liked BoomFuzzy, because he understood my pain. He suffered at the sharp end of their tongues with me. Don’t cry, Unicorn. When you cry, they win. They know they’ve hurt yo. Don’t let them know their words hurt. Just turn around and walk away. That’s what I’ve done my whole life. I learned that as a children, I’d have killed myself, the same way BoomFuzzy did, centuries ago, if I hadn’t taught myself, to ignore pain. Just like BoomFuzzy, the bullies who tease you are the same bullies who tease me. You're the only thing important to me any more. and right now you're sick, we need to find you a healer. Don't worry. I won't leave you behind. I'll never leave you. We both need each other."

Volume 8: Into The Swamp Of Death

Quaraun wakes up in The Mournful Lamb Inn, with no memory of who he is or how he got there. Every one tells him he arrived covered in blood and collapsed, but no one can answer any other questions, save a gargoyle-like beast of a vampire, who tells Quaraun he is dead by suicide and wanders through the Swamp of Death, the holding ground between life and death, heaven and hell. The holding grounds for people too good for hell but too evil for heaven, as well as the place where lost souls wander until they can be set free: The Mournful Lamb being the resting place for murder victims and suicide victims.

Confused and alone, Quaraun tries to leave the inn, only to discover a vast barrier around it prevents any one inside from getting out.

The vampire tells him the only way out is to look into his own memories and seek out the truth: seek for the three friends, who never travelled with you, answer the question: why do always travel alone.

Unlocking his past reveal a horrifying truth: BeaLuna the Gnome, Bullgaar the Dwarf, and BoomFuzzy the Unicorn were never there - figments of his warped imagination or ghosts of the past, he can't tell which, but in all this time no one but Quaraun has ever seen any of them, for they are all ghosts who now haunt their murderer.


This novel is about a murder-suicide, in which the suicide victim is found still alive. 

This novel contains references to and graphic depictions of cutting, intentional drug overdose, suicide attempts, dismemberment, murder, and beheadings.

Some of these scenes are included in the free-to-read-online sample chapters.

Reader discretion is advised.

Possibly NSFW




This novel contains one of the most graphically detailed and brutally violent CBT barbed-knotting torture/sex/rape scenes of the entire series. No part of this scene is available free-to-read online.

Reader discretion is strongly advised.


The sample chapters listed below equal about 1/10th of the novel. No additional chapters will be made available free to read online.

The Mournful Lamb Inn

Everyone Is Dead?

Where Are Your Friends?

The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)

The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)

The Beginning of the End

The Witch Massimara Of Mount Yenka

Psychotic Dead Things

Six Days Earlier

There is no Mournful Lamb Inn

The Swamp of Death

TYPE: Long Novella/Short Novel

WORD COUNT: 61,449 words

PAGE COUNT: 164 printed paperback pages

POINT OF VIEW: third person; Quaraun’s point of view usually; a few times from Unicorn’s

HAPPY EVER AFTER? no, this volume does NOT have a happy ending; character death ending

CLIFFHANGER ENDING: Yes. Sort of. Almost. This volumes ends with a sort of “To Be Continued...” that doesn’t actually continue

CONTINUING SERIAL? Yes; this is volume 8 of 130

INTERRACIAL COUPLES? Yes; a white skinned cross-dressing male Elf and his black skinned male Phooka lover.

Genre: Dark Fantasy > Sword & Sorcery > Bizzarro > Literary

LITERARY FICTION WARNING: This entire series is Slice of Life Vignette Literary Fiction, meaning there’s a lot of dialogue, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, a lot of monologue, and a lot of emotional introspective, but not much action going on in this heavily character driven series. Each story is a narrow focused look at a single event (often a single day or hour) in Quaraun's life.

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