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Psychotic Dead Things
Into The Swamp of Death
(novel excerpt)




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Sample Chapter from:
Quaraun and the Vampire, Into the Swamp of Death
Volume 8 of
The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane

"He's a Lich," Quaraun said to no one in particular.

"Who a Lich," asked the Vampire as he moved around the table to a new chair, sat down beside Quaraun and poured him another drink. The liquid came out of the pitcher purple and pink striped this time. Quaraun had not yet noticed a different drink was coming out each time or that they were impossibly coloured. 

“Here, has more drink.” The Vampire handed Quaraun the purple and pink striped potion.

"Do you never get tired of bothering me?"

"Oh no! Never! I could torments ya for an eternity. It is ever so much fun. Un as I is all dead un immortal, or undead un whatever, un yis a Necromancer trapped here in the netherworld with evil lil me, looks like I might just get to do that. Me Heaven seems to be yar Hell. So basically yis in Hell un I just gonna torment ya forever. Which is must make this Heaven for me. Is it not wonderful?"

"Wonderful. Greeeeat. I'm overjoyed," Quaraun answered sarcastically. "Why do I always get stuck with psychotic dead things following me?”

“Because yis psychopathic Necromancer, me t’inks.”

“I hate dead things."

"Oh un blood! Wooooooh oooh oooh! Haha! Oh, let us not forget blood! Ya always get stuck with bloody dead things that make ya faint. Here have a glass a milk steeped in blood, cheer ya right up."

THUD

"Hmmm. Hahaha. Never fails." The Vampire looked down at Quaraun, unconscious on the floor. "I tinks I really could do this for an eternity. Un looks like I is gonna get to. Hahaha!"

"Is he alright?" The barmaid asked, peering over the bar.

"Oh, him fine. He be just scared milk un faints at sight of blood. Him wake shortly. I does this to him all the time. Been doing this to him for centuries now. He has'na got enough brains to figured it out yet. I has been dead for a few hundred years ya know. Been haunting me poor wee Elf, pretty much hims whole life. Absolutely the most I has ever had. I love being Lich. Him keep killing me un I just keep coming back. It be ever so much fun un it just a lot more funner, now that I can actually see him. I used to be blind, ya know. I never seen no one so scared of milk before. I never used to see him at all. Never even heard of anyone being scared of milk before."

"Scared of milk?" Another barmaid asked.

"Mmm-huh. Heheha. Ooooh. Me poor Elf. Bad heart un scared of milk."

"Who's scared of milk?"

"He is."

"I thought he was a Necromancer."

"Ohhh. That him is. Him is, big bad evil mega villain un he faints at the sight of blood un milk un spiders un mice un water un bridges un oooh, that be what make this so much fun to do this to him...ahh...yis awake agains."

"I am so sick of people doing that to me," Quaraun growled as he got back up off the floor.

"Aye, well, maybe ya should get over yar fear of bloody milk. Haha! Now, who's a Lich?"

"Unicorn."

"I thought him was Phooka?"

"He was a Phooka and he turned himself into a Lich after turning himself into an Elf. And he acts like you.”

“Me? How so?”

“He took every opportunity he could to scare me and make me pass out.”

“A trickster then?”

“Yes. He's the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley."

"Really, eh? Well that be new kettle of fish. Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, eh? Him was  most powerful wizard of all known realms of existence. Planes Jumper. Realm traveller. HeadgeWalker..." 

"Psychotic Lich."

"Psychotic, eh?"

"Yes. Very psychotic. He kind of reminds me of you."

"Imagine that. I wonder why?” 

“I seem to attract lunatics to me.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Yes. It does.”

“Admitting yis insane?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Un yar Unicorn it be him that were this psychotic Lich?"

"Yes."

"Is ya sure?"

"Yes. I killed him three times, I can't get the bastard out of my life, he's hung up on tormenting me for god knows what reason. It doesn’t matter how many times he dies. He always comes back. Of course I'm sure."

“Does ya nay want him coming back?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Sounded like it.”

“I like him. He just takes his pranks too far some times.”

"Did ya ever look at yarself in a mirror? Damn yis hot. Un ya smell so delicious." 

The Vampire nuzzled up close to Quaraun and licked his neck. 

"There be nothing like Elf blood to stir me desires to boiling mad. It been made ever so worse since becoming a Vampire. Draining yar gorgeous body of every last drop of blood is all I can tinks aboot.” 

“You’re not going to drink my blood.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Ain’t nothing I can t’inks of I would rather do, ‘cepting maybe fucking ya.”

“You’ll not fuck me either.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Yi sure?”

Quaraun glared at the Vampire.

“Positive.”

“Iffy I promised to neither bite ya nor fucks ya, would ya sleep in me bed with tonight?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Yis lost un alone.”

“And you’re a Vampire.”

“Damn. I a Vampire now, I'll's never look at myself in a mirror agains will I?"

"Why would you look at yourself in a mirror? You're a Vampire. You don't cast a reflection."

"Ahyah. But I new Vampire. I showed up here the same day ya did. That makes me a Vampire for less then a week. I not used to it yet."

"I'm sorry."

"Not like I seen myself in a mirror in a few centuries any ways. Un I has never gotten a really good look at ya before either. Yis so much more beautiful then I thought ya were."

"And you're uncomfortably close to me."

The Vampire was nose to nose with the Elf, draping an arm around his shoulders.

"Aye, Elves do like their personal space dont they?"

"You're a Vampire and you're close enough to bite me."

"Ya used to let an Elf Eater get close enough to bite ya un yis an Elf."

"He was BoomFuzzy."

"Does that make a difference?"

"Yes. It does."

"Did ya only let the Unicorn fuck ya because ya thought he was BoomFuzzy?"

"Yes."

"What if I was BoomFuzzy?"

Quaraun stared at the Vampire.

"You're not BoomFuzzy."

"But what if I was?"

"You could do whatever you wanted to me."

"If I was BoomFuzzy?"

"If you was BoomFuzzy, which you're not."

"Is ya sure?"

"You're not BoomFuzzy."

"But yar, Unicorn, he was BoomFuzzy?"

"Yes."

"And BoomFuzzy is the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley."

"Yes."

"But ya were his lover."

"Yes."

"Did ya know he was the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley before becoming his lover?"

"No. Well. Yes. Kind of. I suspected it."

"Did ya remain his lover eftah finding out for sure?"

"Yes."

"How comes that, eh?"

"I love BoomFuzzy. Didn't seem to matter any more, who he was, by the time I found out. I went over and over it in my mind and it didn't matter, who he was. I still loved him. Poor Unicorn. He didn't want to be a Lich. He hated being a Lich. I was careless. I thought, because he was a Lich, that nothing could kill him. I was wrong. He was in his physical, non-Lich form, when the Orcs attacks. He could still die in his non-Lich form. I didn't know that. I would have been more careful of him, had I known that. And now he's dead."

"Is ya sure?"

"Unicorn's dead. Unicorn was BoomFuzzy. BoomFuzzy's dead."

"But ya said he was a Lich un Lich does'na die."

"And you're a Vampire. Vampires aren't supposed to die either, but they can. Stake through the heart, cut off your head, and all that stuff."

"Is ya planning to kill me?"

"No, but you are rather too close for comfort right now. I was just stating a fact. Things that are undead can be killed."

"No, actually. No really. Stake through heart, do'na actually kill us. I tinks. I will no want to test that though. We are like Liches. Turn to dust un disappear for a time, slowly regenerate un come back agains. So, staking a Vampire, does'na really kill us. I is na sure that ya could actually kill a Vampire permanently any better then ya could kill a Lich permanently. No, I suspect yar Unicorn is still alive, around here somewhere, if it is true he was a Lich. He's bound to be around here somewhere. Undead things always turn up agains when ya least expect them. It's the nature of us undead things, ya know. We just pop out of the woodwork when ya least expect us, un fuck the hell out of ya for no reason at all."

Quaraun stared at the Vampire, wondering if he should try to run away from it.

"Haha! Do ya know," the Vampire continued. "That ya are absolutely the most beautiful thing I has ever seen."

"Yes, everyone keeps telling me that. That's the problem of being an Elf. Eternal beauty and everyone, everywhere wants to fuck you because of it. Eternal beauty is a curse. Everyone, everywhere I go wants to fuck me. Humans especially! I've got young Human girls tossing themselves in my lap everywhere I go. Do you have any idea how many times I've had a Human fling herself on me and introduce herself by saying how much she loves my blue eyes and wants to have my babies? And I don't even like women! And men are always wanting to fuck me too. Though most of them, usually keep it to themselves. It’s very annoying.”

“That they keep it to themselves?”

“That they want to fuck me.”

“I want to fuck ya.”

“Like I said. Everyone, everywhere I go.”

“Can’na say as I blame them. I’d like to fuck ya too.”

“You’re rather bold aren't you?"

"I dead. Can'na get much bolder then being walking corpse."

"I suppose that's true. Why do dead things keep wanting to fuck me?"

“Are ya sure it be multiple dead things un not just always one dead thing in different forms? Phookas are shape shifters you know. Look like anything or anyone.”

“Yes. I do seem to attract dead shape shifters to me.”

"Yis a Necromancer, ya attract dead things to ya. Un yis a damn beautiful Necromancer, so young un physically perfectly flawless. Yar mind be sort of cracked, Thullid un all, so that's to be expected, but yar body be amazing.” 

“I'm scarred.”

“That scar is always gonna bother ya, isn't it?”

“My body would be flawless without it.”

“Most Necromancers are old un hideous. Un damn, ya really DO have the most amazing blue eyes. I do'na tinks I ever noticed that before. Never was able to see ya eyes. They are bluer than a clear blue cloudless sky. I tinks I’ll agree with the Human girls, if I was a woman, I would be wanting lots of babies by ya too, so they all could all have yar blue eyes."

"I'm not sure if I should be scared of you or thank you for the complement."

"Maybe ya should let me fuck ya un find out."

Quaraun stared down at the drink he'd been drinking, which the Vampire had stopped refilling now that he was more absorbed in sniffing Quaraun's hair and licking his neck. The Vampire had a distinctive scent of cinnamon and cloves and gingerbread to him. Quaraun was beginning to feel very, very strange. He looked up at the room. It twisted and swirled out of place. The patrons in the tavern flickered on and off light candles trying not to blow out. The only thing that wasn't moving and twisting out of shape was the Vampire across from him at the table. It was only then that Quaraun realized the table, the floor, the building, and even the people wandering around the inn were all made out of gingerbread.

“BoomFuzzy.”

“What?”

“BoomFuzzy. He was an Illusionist. He made his illusions out of gingerbread.”

“Ya seeing gingerbread? Ya ain't had a drink in a bit, eh?”

"This place isn't real."

"Seeing that are ya? Maybe ya need more to drink."

Quaraun looked down at his drink. It was now orange with blue polka dits.

"What is this drink?"

"Angelic Ecstasy Ambrosia. They say that once ya drink it, ya become addicted to it. Yis aboot on yar 30th glass in the last few hours. Un ya, my pretty wee lil Elf, ya've been sitting here drinking it for days now. Yis aboot ready to just fly to the moon."

"What is in it?"

"No one knows."

"You're a Faerie aren't you? This is Fae food. You drugged me."

The Vampire flashed a wild Cheshire cat grin. "Brouhaha! Wooooooh oooh oooh! Haha! Hehe, ha haha! Oh, aye, I most certainly did. Poison frogs, hallucinogenic chocolate covered undead apricots, un psychedelic mushrooms are somewhat of a speciality of mine.”

“BoomFuzzy.”

“Ahyah.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because ya did something fucking bad un ya forgot what was.”

The Vampire changed forms, melting away to become the Moon Elf candy maker, who looked very much like Quaraun, except for his inky black eyes and masses of white afro curls that tangled into long wild dreadlocks. BoomFuzzy, dressed as always in long dark chocolate brown velvet robes, decorated with white icing-like embroidery and tiny red buttons resembling cinnamon candy.

“Are you BoomFuzzy, or just looking like him?”

“I is BoomFuzzy. Who else would make an illusion out of gingerbread un drugs ya with wine made of chocolate un apricots?”

“Chocolate?” Quaraun looked down at his drink. He was now holding a mug of cocoa.

“Ya can hide anything chocolate. Everyone loves chocolate un candy. Haha! Ya should know that by now, ya silly wee lil Elf."

"Why?"

"Because yis a Necromancer un I is Vampire who did'na want to be a Vampire - I do'na tinks, I is na sure yet what I tinks of being turned into a Vampire, but in any case I is Vampire who's somewhat pissed at Necromancers right now, un oh, haha! It's ever so much fun to drug ya Quaraun! Makes it so much easier to fuck the daylights out of ya. Ya turned me into a Vampire, without my permission, ya tinks I is gonna let ya get away with that."

"I'm not the Necromancer who turned you into a Vampire." 

"Do no bet yar life on it."

"No, I'm not."

"Aye, ya are. My dear wee lil idiot Elf, ya most certainly are the Necromancer who turned me into a Vampire. Ya bloody, bloody, monstrous Thullid of an Elf. Yis downright evil. Ya has been living a double life. Of course, I was living a double life too. Or a triple un quadruple life rather. Oh my! I was so many people wasn't I? Haha! I had forgotten who I was. But so have ya...or rather ya turn yar back on what ya do. Look at ya, all yar pink frills, sweet wee lil Thullid Elf, so innocent, with so much blood on yar hands. Ya went too far this time. The words of prophet haunt yar soul, un ya can'na live with what ya've done."

"Words of the prophet? What are you talking about?"

“Chocolate covered candy apricots?” The Vampire placed a box of chocolates on the table. It was identical to the box FarDarrig had given him on Fire Mountain.

"Where did you get that?"

"I made it. It's what I do. I is candy maker remember?"

"BoomFuzzy."

"Yis an evil black hearted monster Quaraun. BoomFuzzy was a shapeshifter, remember? Could look like anything or anyone, remember? Ya need to wake up un look at what ya has become. Ya have done exactly what FarDarrig said ya would do. Ya killed yar friends."

Quaraun stood up, but stumbled dizzily and steadied himself with the edge of the table.

"Did not anyone ever tell ya, to never accept a drink from strangers in strange taverns? I seem to recall telling ya that myself, not much more then a year ago. Ya got a bad habit of walking into traps I set for ya. Gingerbread houses un Screaming Unicorns. Have ya never learned nothing from me? Ya idiot Quaraun. Ya killed yar people un blamed it on me! Ya thought ya could get away with it, because I lost me memory. Haha! Ya has restored everything, Quaraun. Everything. Ya did'na just restore yar wee lil Unicorn back to life. Ya restored me back to life too, with all me memories, un me health, un me eyesight, un all me powers. Did you forget in all your hunting of Liches, what a Lich was? A Lich is a very, fucking, very powerful wizard. For all your hunting for BoomFuzzy, you knew he was a Lich now, you forgot what it was a Lich really is. Or who BoomFuzzy was, when he wasn’t BoomFuzzy."

Quaraun looked over at the Vampire, who was now a glowing bright blue skeleton, with wild frizzy dread locked hair, and hovering Lich-like over the table. 

"You're a Lich."

"I’m not just any Lich, Quaraun, I’m your Lich. I’m the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, leader of the Lich Lords. Ya thought I was a Lich when I first walked in here. Ya were right ya know. Ya restored me youth un me health. Oh ya got yar wish. Ya got exactly what ya wanted. Just not like ya thought. Ya fell into a Faerie trap AGAIN, Quaraun. Un ya has drunk so much Faerie wine, made by a Phookan Vampire Lich Lord, that ya created un restored magnificently. But BeaLuna was right, yis so damn addicted to my Faerie wine, ya always have been, it's become so easy for me to catch ya, agains un agains un agains. Poor wee lil Quaraun. Yis aboot ready to pass out from all that Faerie wine. Haha! Un ya remember, there are only two things ever on me mind, un ya've made me a Lich with solid corporeal body? I is Lich un I can touch ya. This is wonderful. Ya has made virtually indestructible. Un I is BoomFuzzy, who ya said can do anything he wanted to ya. Wahhabi! Yis such a wonderful idiot, Quaraun."

The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley laughed, as the Elf fell unconscious to the floor.







Volume 8: Into The Swamp Of Death

Quaraun wakes up in The Mournful Lamb Inn, with no memory of who he is or how he got there. Every one tells him he arrived covered in blood and collapsed, but no one can answer any other questions, save a gargoyle-like beast of a vampire, who tells Quaraun he is dead by suicide and wanders through the Swamp of Death, the holding ground between life and death, heaven and hell. The holding grounds for people too good for hell but too evil for heaven, as well as the place where lost souls wander until they can be set free: The Mournful Lamb being the resting place for murder victims and suicide victims.

Confused and alone, Quaraun tries to leave the inn, only to discover a vast barrier around it prevents any one inside from getting out.

The vampire tells him the only way out is to look into his own memories and seek out the truth: seek for the three friends, who never travelled with you, answer the question: why do always travel alone.

Unlocking his past reveal a horrifying truth: BeaLuna the Gnome, Bullgaar the Dwarf, and BoomFuzzy the Unicorn were never there - figments of his warped imagination or ghosts of the past, he can't tell which, but in all this time no one but Quaraun has ever seen any of them, for they are all ghosts who now haunt their murderer.

TRIGGER WARNING

This novel is about a murder-suicide, in which the suicide victim is found still alive. 

This novel contains references to and graphic depictions of cutting, intentional drug overdose, suicide attempts, dismemberment, murder, and beheadings.

Some of these scenes are included in the free-to-read-online sample chapters.

Reader discretion is advised.

Possibly NSFW

BDSM YAOI

TORTURE PORN

BARBED KNOTTING WARNING

This novel contains one of the most graphically detailed and brutally violent CBT barbed-knotting torture/sex/rape scenes of the entire series. No part of this scene is available free-to-read online.

Reader discretion is strongly advised.

NSFW


The sample chapters listed below equal about 1/10th of the novel. No additional chapters will be made available free to read online.


The Mournful Lamb Inn



Everyone Is Dead?



Where Are Your Friends?



The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)



The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)



The Beginning of the End



The Witch Massimara Of Mount Yenka



Psychotic Dead Things



Six Days Earlier



There is no Mournful Lamb Inn



The Swamp of Death





TYPE: Long Novella/Short Novel

WORD COUNT: 61,449 words

PAGE COUNT: 164 printed paperback pages

POINT OF VIEW: third person; Quaraun’s point of view usually; a few times from Unicorn’s

HAPPY EVER AFTER? no, this volume does NOT have a happy ending; character death ending

CLIFFHANGER ENDING: Yes. Sort of. Almost. This volumes ends with a sort of “To Be Continued...” that doesn’t actually continue

CONTINUING SERIAL? Yes; this is volume 8 of 130

INTERRACIAL COUPLES? Yes; a white skinned cross-dressing male Elf and his black skinned male Phooka lover.

Genre: Dark Fantasy > Sword & Sorcery > Bizzarro > Literary

LITERARY FICTION WARNING: This entire series is Slice of Life Vignette Literary Fiction, meaning there’s a lot of dialogue, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, a lot of monologue, and a lot of emotional introspective, but not much action going on in this heavily character driven series. Each story is a narrow focused look at a single event (often a single day or hour) in Quaraun's life.












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The Top 202 Most Visited Pages of 2017

Seeing how on October 15, 2017, we reached 10,000 pages, I thought it'd be fun to update the Top 100 List and see where were were now.

Top 202 Most Viewed Pages Of 2017 So Far
(Out of 10,000 pages)

(January 2017 to October 2017)
(Excluding the Home PageAbout Page, and Site Map Page, which were the top 3)

  1. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  2. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  3. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  4. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  5. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  6. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach | The Site That Makes Fun of Terrorist Hate Crimes
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  13. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  14. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is Quaraun?
  15. Introduction To The Quaraun Series: aka Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach
  16. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  17. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: Writing Clinical Insanity Accurately | What is wrong with Quaraun? 
  18. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  19. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  20. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  21. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  22. The FBI In Old Orchard Beach, Maine Trying To Capture A Domestic Terrorist
  23. One Gypsy's Review of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  26. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  27. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  28. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  29. How long does it take to hit 1667 words?
  30. How to Write A Kiss
  31. Phookas
  32. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is GhoulSpawn?
  33. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  34. Daily Writing Prompts (June 2017 Archive)
  35. My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  36. Why Are The Quaraun Books Rated M18+
  37. How to Write Hot Sex - Tips For Erotic Romance Authors
  38. The Zaharam-Chapelle-Parunas Ethnographical World Building Questionnaire
  39. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  40. What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?)
  41. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  42. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  43. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  44. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  45. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  46. How can your books have gay transvestite characters and not be Erotica? or Why are gay haters beating up elderly woman for wearing pink for breast cancer awareness and saying she's a transexual because only transexuals wear pink?
  47. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo Featuring The 13 Step Method To Writing
  48. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  49. Maine UFO Sightings
  50. Page 11 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - The Scottish Traveller Crime Family
  51. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  52. KBoards, The NaNoWriMo ML Rumor & The Vindictive Stalker
  53. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  54. Captured By The Lich Lord | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  55. How To Build A Magic System
  56. I've everything but a kitchen sink. Wait, how'd that sink get in my pocket?
  57. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies & The Ku Klux Klan of Old Orchard Beach
  58. Autistic Characters In Fiction
  59. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  60. Manuscript Reading Services or Will You Read My Book and Tell Me What You Think?
  61. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  62. Wizards vs Witches vs Sorcerers: How are they different? | Writing Fantasy Books
  63. FRED: Google's Most Deadly Update Ever?
  64. How To Write A Novel: Question Everything Before Putting It In Your World
  65. Content writing: How long do you spend creating a quality blog post?
  66. SBI: To Review or Not to Review? That Is The Question
  67. Twerking Dragons: The Joys Of Writing A Novel With A Voice Recorder
  68. A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest | Summoner of Darkness
  69. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, or Intersex: What Is Quaraun?
  70. Sheep | GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  71. Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
  72. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  73. Keywords & Pigeons: How I Do Local Business Marketing
  74. Quaraun & Autism In Fantasy Novels
  75. The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall
  76. Tom Addams & The Warrior's Forum
  77. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  78. An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  79. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  80. Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)
  81. A Motorhome named 'No Hurry' becomes Rosebud & The Story of Ten Kidnapped Cats
  82. Create Original Content aka I Hate Jackass Gutter Scum Thieves
  83. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Going North To Head South
  84. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  85. Aspergers is NOT Autism
  86. Is The Quaraun Series Erotica? - No! Here's why...
  87. Summoner of Darkness: GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  88. The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  89. The Lich's True Form Revealed | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  90. Using work you already started for national novel writing month?
  91. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  92. Books in Vacationland 2017
  93. BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  94. Lets Playing Is No Longer Fun
  95. Santa's Floating Dead Body | A Scene From The Summoner of Darkness
  96. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  97. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 2 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  98. What vlogging equipment is needed to get started as a YouTube vlogger?
  99. April 2015 Update: Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach: The Kidnapped Cats
  100. Betta Fish Aesthetic on Pinterest
  101. Domain Name Branding: Should You Put Your Brand Name In Your URL?
  102. Life As A YouTuber: How To Earn An Income From Making Videos
  103. Making YouTube Videos: How did you decide what content to make?
  104. Page 4 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  105. Twighilight Not Twilight
  106. YouTube Index
  107. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  108. Are You A Satan Worshiper?
  109. Average Typing Speed
  110. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  111. Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing Literary Fiction Used In Epic Fantasy Novels
  112. Google Flagged Your Site! What To Do? (Help For Web Masters)
  113. How valuable is a writer’s group?
  114. Lives Destroyed: Amphibious Aliens 10th Anniversary Update
  115. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Santa's Letter To Satan
  116. Summoner of Darkness: Quaraun Meets The Gremlin
  117. The Terrorists of Old Orchard Beach Put My Dad In a Coma
  118. Using Yahoo Answers to promote your book and author website.
  119. What Is This Site?
  120. You Stole My Idea - I was writing a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
  121. City of The Slushies | Chapter 1 | Quaraun The Insane
  122. Creative Writing Story Prompts: September 2017 Edition
  123. Dungeons and Dragons: The Joys Of Calculating Gold Weight In AD&D 2ed
  124. Fabric Designed By EelKat
  125. My Fave YouTubers Play: Dream Daddy - The Yaoi Dad Dating Sim Otome Game
  126. Necromancy: How will resurrection affect society as a whole?
  127. Page 7 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  128. Pink Flowers Aesthetic on Pinterest
  129. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 12 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  130. What will a traveler encounter on the roads in your world?
  131. Are you insane? Am I? Let's Find Out...
  132. Becoming A Better Writer: How to write interesting dialogue.
  133. Character Creation
  134. Copper Cockeral Cards & Gifts
  135. Elves, Drugs, and Opium: A Look At The Drug Use In The Quaraun Books
  136. How To Stay Motivated To Write | Writing Fantasy Books
  137. Jewelry Fashions in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  138. Keyword Marketing - What to do when your best keywords are low demand
  139. Magic Systems and How to Build Them | Writing Fantasy Books
  140. NaNoWriMo Overachievers: How did you do it?
  141. Quaraun Cover Art Gallery | Fantasy Novel Book Cover Art
  142. Quaraun The Insane : Zebulon's Captive: The Last of The Moon Elves
  143. SEO Advantages of Embedding YouTube Videos On Your Website
  144. Summoner of Darkness: A Tavern Scene - Chastity Cages, and Whores
  145. Summoner of Darkness: The Return of ZooLock (free to read online)
  146. Twighlight Not Twilight Part 2
  147. Vanishing Books Update - Why 27 of my books were deleted off Amazon
  148. What is a God in Your Universe? | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  149. Writing Maine: How To Write About Maine Life Accurately
  150. What the Ocean Gives Me (How Things In Your Life Affect Your Writing)
  151. City of The Slushies | Chapter 14 | Quaraun The Insane
  152. February 10, 2008 - Harassment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  153. How does a bestselling book become a bestseller?
  154. Marriage in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  155. People are not interested in long winded copy
  156. September 26, 2017 - The Latest Attack By The KKK on The Thinner Gypsies
  157. Spending Money To Make Money Online? Should You Do It?
  158. Summoner of Darkness: The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness
  159. Summoner of Darkness: The Map of The Town (novel free to read online)
  160. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt GOTY | Completionist Run: Episode 01
  161. Trespassers: April 2007 Updates
  162. Turning Scenes, Into Stories & Writing Travelogue Style Fantasy Books
  163. Where To Get Endless Ideas For Short Stories, Novels, and Articles
  164. Writing Controversial Books: Political Correctness & White Supremacists
  165. Are Bad Reviews Good For You?
  166. Branding Yourself While Avoiding The Scams | EelKat On Content Writing
  167. Child Sacrifice in Fantasy Novels | Writing Fantasy Books
  168. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  169. How would you explain your Fantasy world to a stranger?
  170. Page 6 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  171. Summoner of Darkness: HellBorne The Evil, Lord of Black Tower
  172. The return of Friends Are Forever - Banned and Burned it's about to be reborn!
  173. Why do Lovecraftian beings come to earth?
  174. Writing Prompts Syndrome?
  175. Autism = The Crazy Cat Woman of Maine
  176. Autism: Understanding what is really going on inside the child’s head.
  177. But what exactly IS a full time income?
  178. Content Marketing & writing: How I write content for my website
  179. Do you write a novel start-to-finish?
  180. GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: How To Kill a Lich
  181. How is it that the church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?
  182. How To Write A Novel: In what order do you create your world?
  183. I loved my children but I loved BoomFuzzy more | From Quaraun The Insane
  184. My Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been
  185. Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers
  186. Quaraun and the Amazon Adult Filter
  187. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  188. Summoner of Darkness: Where Are You Hiding That Horse?
  189. Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harassment. :(
  190. What would happen if an Elf adopted a Human baby? | Writing Fantasy Books
  191. Page 10 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  192. Page 3 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  193. Page 8 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  194. SCRIPT FRENZY 2010: I WON! & Psycho Stalker Attacks
  195. Wristlets, Wrist Bags, Mini Clutch, Cosmetic Bags, and Designer Mini Purses
  196. Writing Your Novel: Do you save chapters as individual files?
  197. Are old AD&D adventures still any use to current players?
  198. Autistics Have Feelings Too & Diverse Books Rant
  199. Be True To You: YouTube Gamers: "Faking" a personality until you make it?
  200. City of The Slushies | Chapter 10 | Quaraun The Insane
  201. HEA in Erotica (Should You Write Happily Ever Afters?)
  202. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies



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“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes aroMy Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been

Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers

und comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.” 

― Jessica Brody


"By autistic standards, the “normal” brain is easily distractible, is obsessively social, and suffers from a deficit of attention to detail and routine. Thus people on the spectrum experience the neurotypical world as relentlessly unpredictable and chaotic, perpetually turned up too loud, and full of people who have little respect for personal space." 

— Steve Silberman



Attempt Something New Today! – too many people talk about doing this or that but few actually take action, it's the why behind why so few succeed and so many fail.




I'm not made of money, I'm made out of glitter and kittens. 

~CinnamonToastKen 2017


“When people see you're happy doing what you're doing, it sort of takes the power away from them to tease you about it.” 

― Wendy Mass, Every Soul a Star




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“If you're horrible to me, I'm going to write a song about it, and you won't like it. That's how I operate.” 

― Taylor Swift



Bullies should never force you to  suffer in silence. If someone has hurt you, let others know.



“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” 
― Michael J. Fox



“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.” 

― Abraham Lincoln


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"Do not fear people with Autism, embrace them, Do not spite people with Autism unite them, Do not deny people with Autism accept them for then their abilities will shine" 

— Paul Isaacs











Be the hero, not the bully.





“1. Bullying is not okay. Period.

2. Freedom of religion does not give you the right to physically or verbally assault people.

3. If your sincerely-held religious beliefs require you to bully children, then your beliefs are fucked up.” 

― Jim C. Hines




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