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Wounded, depressed, and on the run, the Pink Necromancer heads home for Inuvijk, Quebec planning to kill himself upon arriving back at the location of his lover's death, 300 years prior. Sidetracked when the Forest of No Return grows up around him and cuts off his path, Quaraun sidetracks to the coast to by-pass the sentient forest. But a hurricane crashing up the Maine coast sends him fleeing for shelter at an enchanted tavern which suddenly appears out of no where.
Too late Quaraun realizes he's walked into a trap set by an evil Faerie and must survive a night with a sex crazed undead unicorn: The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley himself, King Gwallmaiic, leader of the Lich Lords.
The Elf Eater's Map
*Captured By The Lich Lord (NSFW | 18+)
BedTime Stories For A Lich: ZooLock & The Pixie
An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit
NOTE: This is Bizarro Yaoi Monster Porn and contains knotting.
A small, thin, sick, and very suicidally depressed, opium addicted, 300 year old Transvestite albino Moon Elf Necromancer, with an parasitic alien Jellyfish living in his brain and telling him what to do, and has white hair longer than Rapunzel's, and is wearing a pink sequin dress and a feather boa, has pointed ears a foot tall and 3 dozen ear rings in each, all connected by chains to the dozen more rings in his nose, and happens the be the most powerful wizard on the planet, but you don't want him pointing his wand at you because he can't lay off the drugs long enough to get his spells right, has just fled a Human Tavern, where he was mistaken by the Humans for being a 20-something female prostitute, and narrowly escaped a gang bang rape, but not before one of the Humans ran a sword through his belly. He was at the tavern to drink himself into an oblivion, because his lover had commit suicide.
Now terrified, wounded, on the run from a band of Humans, carrying a stolen DracoLich in his pocket that s bigger on the inside, higher then heck, and talking to a map that is talking back to him, the very high High Elf flees to the coast hoping to find a flying ship on which to leave the planet. Before he gets there however a massive storm rises out of no-where, forcing him to seek shelter in yet another tavern, this one called The Screaming Unicorn, and surrounded by giant pine trees that have up rooted and are walking around, while hundreds purple cartoon puppy dogs bound around for no reason. (I'll point out that this is the 1400's and The Screaming Unicorn tavern has a very 1970s neon bar sign that says “Screaming Unicorn” flashing in bold bright colours.)
I'm an author. This is an author home page. It's about me, my life, my books, my hobbies, my home town, and anything else that applies to me and my life.
Since starting my writing career in 1978, I have written 130+ novels, 2,000+ short stories, 6,000+ non-fiction articles (ALL are found on this site), a few dozen stage plays, 12,000+ blog posts, and a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck (I only worked for Disney one year (in 2005) and only wrote a few stories for their Danish comic books).
NOTE: I ONLY write the Quaraun series (aka The Twighlight Manor series aka The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane). In recent years there has been an issue with impersonators trying to pass books off as written by me, notably several non-fiction and Erotica books. I write neither nonfiction nor Erotica.
ALL of my books and their cover arts are listed on my website here. Beware of any books you find claiming to be me. If the books are NOT listed here on my website, they are NOT my books.
In fiction works, I specialize in Weird/Bizarro Tales set in 40th century CyberPunk-Quasi Medieval, Cozy Dark Fantasy and Science Fiction worlds featuring an intersex Elf and his Faerie husband main characters. I DO NOT WRITE ANY OTHER SERIES - THIS SERIES IS THE ONLY ONE I WRITE.
Non-fiction (found ONLY here on my site) is daily updates of events in my life, and how-tos on how I write my novels.
I DO NOT write Erotica.
I DO NOT write books with HUMAN characters.
The Erotica books and books with Human characters, that you are finding, are written by scammers trying to impersonate me.
There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter. If you find any such books, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322
146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.
And I'm sick of real estate agents who are too incompetent to research land ownership before they show up to stick a for sale sign in my yard.
The fact of the matter is, my son was murdered in 2013, and the friends and family of the murderer think it is funny to keep ILLEGALLY listing my land for sale, because apparently their child murdering bitch friend didn't hurt me enough by crippling me with a golf club, ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and beating his brains out on the ground with a golf club.
Also, her friends and family like to gaslight me by doxing me on ufo and alien abduction forums, while pretending to be me, and trying to make it look like I believe in ufos or aliens, even though I think people who believe in ufos are raving lunatics and people who claim to be alien abductees are crazy.
So, yeah, my son was murdered and the murder's friends and family endlessly harass me, my friends, and my family both online and offline, and I'm not happy with it at all.
There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter.
The FBI is looking for information into:
I'm going to repeat it because I'm tired of people showing up and making offers:
146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.
How did you build your audience?
Not online, that's for sure.
aka How to sell ten million books
aka How I sold ten million books.
The Park Bench Method of Writing
(just the article)
or
The Park Bench Method of Writing
(with the list of 10k writing prompts - takes a LONG TIME to load - SEVERAL MINUTES!)
I Think UFO and Alien Believers Are Weird Here's Why...
Does every writer have to deal with this shit?
Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 |
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |