| NaNoWriMo 2021 - New Untiled Quaraun Novel - being written live on Twitch - the WiP vomit draft for you to read as I write it is HERE |
You have reached Maine's largest and most trafficked website.
The official website of Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies
As of February 2021, we are now getting up to 7 MILLION visits per day!
This is the home page of
Maine author, artist, Voodoo Priestess, Gypsy Queen, and art car designer:
EelKat Wendy Christine Allen
Chances are high, I'm the most famous person, you'll ever meet.
I am EelKat
The REAL Gypsy Witch Stephen King based his Thinner Gypsy witch off of
and owner of the REAL World's Most Haunted car,
the car Stephen King based his fictional Christine off of,
My family, we are the Gypsies you see in The Thinner, the movie was filmed on my farm,
Founder of The Procter & Gamble Boycott
EelKat of Squidoo, EelKat Voice of the Voiceless.
EelKat Etiole's Friend.
We are the Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, Scarborough, Wells, Kennebunk, Sanford, Bangor, and Palmyra, Maine.
This website started in 1996 and is updated, edited, and added to daily. (NOTE do keep in mind since the April 10, 2015 murder of my children, this site is no longer updated daily, and very few new writing articles are added any more - since 2015 updates have been about weekly and usually are about the continued ongoing investigation into the murder of my family.)
As of 2021 it has more than 10,000 pages. However, only around 2,000 pages are indexed by search engines (robot blockers and/or passwords, prevent the rest from being findable by Google/Bing/Yahoo/etc.). Around 8,000 pages can only be accessed by clicking on direct links to them. The links are found on other pages on this site. Confusing? Perhaps. But whenever one of those difficult to find 8,000 pages gets traffic, I know that you are VERY dedicated in reading what I wrote or doing some stalker level digging to reach those search engine inaccessible pages and I'd rather not waste my time writing stuff for uninterested parties, plus it's fascinating to see how deep some people are willing dig to find every last word I wrote.
I published my first novel in 1978. Since then I have published 138 novels, 30 non-fiction books, 2,000+ short stories, a dozen plays, a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck comics, a few dozen novellas, and 10,000+ non-fiction articles.
I am asexual and famous for 4 decades of writing 100% sexless stories, laced in extreme blood-gore-and-violence. But in spite of that, in recent years, most people classify me as an Erotica author. I don't know why, as I've never written Erotica or even any sex scenes, and as I am a nun, raised as such from the age of 3, I wouldn't even know how to write sex or Erotica. If you came here looking for sex, BDSM, Erotica, or Dominatrix's, please return to whomever sent you and tell them to burn in Hell where their immoral ass belongs. Also, do tell me their name so I can put a curse on them, so they will never enjoy sex ever again, to punish them for spreading lies about me and connecting my name to anything related to sex at all. I find sex vile and despicable and want no part of your perverse degradation near me.
All of my fiction works are about Alien Elf Wizards who live in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. All of my non-fiction works are about the history of Maine, it's Gypsy Clans, and most especially Old Orchard Beach the town which was settled and founded by my family.
Most of these pages answer reader questions on the worldbuilding, character creating, plotting, writing, editing, and publishing process of my work.
Others are on the history of my people, The Gypsies of Maine, our culture, our lifestyle, our cars, and our religion.
The rest of the pages are daily updates of the terrorist attacks by Maine's White Supremacists on my non-white family, including updates of the FBI investigation of the April 10, 2015 murder of my children.
Due to the murder of my family and the resulting court cases, police investigations, and FBI investigations, I no longer have time to daily update this website.
Likewise ALL novel, short story, and article writing projects are on hiatus.
All book releases, book signings, workshops, and convention appearances for 2015 (and unknown amount of time after) are on hold while the murder investigation of my family is ongoing.
Writing advice for the worldbuilding, character creation, and other writing how to articles are on hold.
From now on, the bulk of updates here will be about the investigation into the murder of my family.
No, NOT just THIS author website, not JUST the EelKat pename, not just self published books: ALL 15 (fifteen) of my penames are on hiatus, that includes traditional published books as well, newspaper reporting jobs, editing jobs, my work for Harlequin Romance Novels, my work for Disney... EVERYTHING is on hiatus. Every publishing house I work for, every series I write, every penname I write under: they are ALL on hiatus, ALL projects.
There is NOTHING being published under ANY penname, not for ANY series, not for ANY publisher, from 2015 onward. EVERYTHING is on hold due to the murder of my family. I do not know when or even if, any of the projects will be restarted or finished.
Yes, BOTH the magazines I owned are indefinitely shut down because of this as well, with no plans for either magazine to return. The publishing house I own is also closed to submissions from now on, we will no longer be publishing anything. It is unlikely we will reopen the publishing house either.
All book signing tours, workshops, letures, PAX events, ComicCon events, carnival/festival/state fair/car show events are also canceled. I will not be attending ANY of them. If a venue still has my name listed as a guest/speaker/etc it is because they've not yet removed it. I WILL NOT be there, no matter where it is!
EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, IS CANCELED!
The ONLY thing continuing from this point on, is THIS website, where I'll post updates on the murder investigation, hopefully every week, but, you know how it is when 10 members of your family are beheaded, it's kind of difficult to have a schedule for anything anymore.
April 10, 2015 my 12 children were kidnapped,
from 146 Portland Ave. Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
May 15, 2015, ten of their heads were nailed to my door.
Do you have information?
FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case.
If you have information about the April 10, 2015 murder of my family
or any of the attacks on our home and relatives, give it to him not me.
He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322
No, the books do not continue. The original series had 130 volumes on FanFic. net, (each about 10 to 30 pages). They were written in whatever order they popped into my head.
The new novel length series here on Amazon (each now 100 and up to 300 pages), is a re-write of the old series.
Like the 1997 originals, each story stands on it's own as a complete story, without any need to read any story before or after it.
The volumes are only numbered because Amazon requires a volume number to be added to any books that are in a series or set.
So, no, you do not have to read the series in order 1, 2, 3, etc.
Each volume looks at a single space in time during Quaraun's life, often the story will span the space of only a few hours of a single day.
Quaraun is an Elf, whose brain has been infested by a parasitic Lovecratian Jellyfish (a Thullid), that is eating his brain and replacing it with it's own. He is unable to grasp a sense of time or reality and is fighting to remain Quaraun the Elf, refusing to become Quaraun the Thullid, while struggling to deal with the suicide of his lover and fellow wizard, BoomFuzzy, who has regenerated as a Lich Unicorn.
Quaraun is fighting a losing battle against the Thullid living in his head, while trying to come to terms with his lover's suicide and subsequent undeath, and has lost touch with reality. The series is written from his very questionable perspective. As such, the stories go backward and forward and have no set chronology. Thus each volume can be read in any order.
Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.
The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.
Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.
These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.
Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.
Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.
Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.
Meet The Characters:
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: First draft/sample chapters from the novels.
NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.More sample chapters can be found here: (note, while these chapters are linked in chronological order, they are not continuing one to the next, they are chapters spanning from Volume 1 all the way to volume 119, of a series that has 130 novels/volumes.)
Pink Links are pages on this site. Green links go to the pages found on my DeviantArt account.
Chapter 1: King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish (Chapter 1 of the entire series)BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From HellThe Dying Elf, Gibedon's Head, and King Gwallmaiic's Elf Eating MansionSanta Claus: Lich Of The North PoleAn Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink NecromancerI Loved My Children, But I Loved BoomFuzzy MoreDoe'Uan and The Lonely ElfFinding Finderu Kelim Meets Quaraun The InsanePocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders FindaruCaptured By The Lich Lord An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread PitThe Lich's True Form Revealed Bullgaar the Vulgar The Enchanted MapWaiter, There's a Head In My SoupThe Orcs and The Necromancer The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)The Beginning of the EndThe Witch Massimara Of Mount YenkaPsychotic Dead ThingsSix Days EarlierThere is no Mournful Lamb InnThe Swamp of DeathThe Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC GremlinIntroducing GhoulSpawnThe Demon Cultists & The Coming of The DarknessEelKat and The Kats of Planet PtarmaginThe Moon Elves of IvujivikThe Return of ZooLock The GreatThe Gremlin's WarningA Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch PondThe Road To Witch Pond (Part 2)The Road To Witch Pond (Part 3)Santa's Dead Floating BodyWorms!GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A PhookaThe Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of DeathA Fourth Letter To Home - The Masochistic Elf With Stockholm SyndromeGhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A PhookaThe Strange Village or I Love The Smell Of Decomposing Bodies In The MorningThe Golden RoosterMeeting MallacSerial Killer At LargeThe Summoner of DarknessCorsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries.Visiting The Scene of Murder #1 With An UnGelded StallionI Never Wanted To Be a WizardSheep AgainBack At The Tavern and Still No ShrimpA Tavern Scene Part 3 - Quaraun, Unicorn, GhoulSpawn, - Time Travel, Chastity Cages, and WhoresTumbling Down Stairs With Slutty Elves and Angry LichesWhere Are You Hiding That Horse?The Hostess Twinkie Aisle of Biddeford WalMartQuaraun Meets HellBorne The EvilThe Map of the TownQuaraun Meets BatDude & Pigeon Poop BoyPepperell Square, Saco, Maine, In The Year 2525No Goldfish, Today?Chocolate Covered Elves Evil Elves How To Kill A LichThe Lover's Triangle At Gremlin's House / Kill The BabyI Am Not GhoulSpawnSheepSanta's Letter to Satan Going North To Head SouthAloneIn Black TowerYou've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman"Sold! To Zebulon, for two million dollars."The Last of The Moon ElvesFarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been
Answering Reader Question About The Quaraun Series:
Behind the Scenes:
A Look At How I Write The Quaraun Series...
The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house.
The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following:
- drug use
- sex fetishes
- CBT (cock and ball torture)
- barbed penises and toothed vaginas
- monsters eating Humans
- blood thirsty Faeries
- Elves eating Elves
- Faeries eating Elves
- squid headed aliens eating brains out of still alive victims
- medieval torture
- stockholm syndrome
- ritual murder
- flaying (skinning a person alive)
- child sacrifice
- vampirism (the mental illness, not the mythical creature)
- crude language (including an excessive use of the words fuck, cock, dick, testicals, balls, scrotum, and penis)
- interracial relationships
- M/m/m relationships
- gay men
- bisexual men
- transvestite men
- men who have sex with unicorns(horses)
- tentacle porn sex with squid headed aliens
- shape-shifter sex
- ménage à trois relationships
- double dicked men
- tripple dicked penitration gay sex scenes
- bananas, pickles, candy canes, unicorn horns, and glass wizard wands used as dildos
- main character Quaraun is a man with 4 wives (one of whom is also his sister, another of whom is also his daughter)
- Quaraun has 2 male lovers
- Quaraun has 4 children by his sister
- Quaraun has 3 children by his daughter
- Quaraun has 1 child that is the result of him raping a woman
- Quaraun has 37 children by prostitutes
- the primary secondary character, Unicorn, is a chemist "candy maker" and detailed instruction of how he makes his drugs, including recipes to do so are included in the novels
The Quaraun series has been banned by the following:
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church
(1991) (Reason: too much sex)
(Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014)
The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine
(2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan)
New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine
(2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)
(Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014)
(2012) (Reason: Too violent)
Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine
(2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)
(Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint)
Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government
(January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574)
(Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents)
27 volumes of the Quaraun novels were forced to be unpublished/removed from Amazon by the government issued court order that cited these books as "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach"
NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".)
Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban.
Sample Chapters of Many of the Novels Are Available To Read Online:
Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake
Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer
Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive
106: The Haunted Lighthouse
Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada
Volume 108: Friends Are Forever
(Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series)
Volume 119: My Two Favorite People
Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.
Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn, Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.
With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].
Reader discretion is advised.
Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?
Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.
April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing.
October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html
If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.