Home of The Autism Awareness Car
Homepage for the Fantasy series:
The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane
-- ten MILLION copies sold and counting!
Founded in 1996, we are Maine's Oldest, Largest, & Most Trafficked Website.
Home to more than 10,000 articles aimed at helping young authors worldbuild, create characters, write novellas, edit manuscripts, design book covers, and self publish their work.
November 14, 2023 will be the 10 year anniversary of the November 14, 2013 murder of my 8 month old infant son, at BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, Maine. If you have any information about who his killer is, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
My Son Was Murdered, The Killer Walks Free, Your Child Could Be Next!
FAQ: What are the most visited pages on this website and how many visits do they get?
Several years ago, I wrote an article on how to write different types of magic uses, or rather how I personally write various types of magic users within the context of my Quaraun books. Today that page is one of my top ten most visited articles. It gets 50 to 500 views/reads/hits/visits per day depending on the time of the years and has had over 200k visits total since it was published.
Amphibious Aliens: Debunking The Atwater Family's Alien Abduction Hoax with more then 30MILLION reads since 2007 and The GoldenEagle: Debunking Stephen King's World's Most Haunted Car Hoax with over tenMILLION reads since 2007 still rank as the two most visited articles on my website, but, neither of those are writing related.
Writing Medieval Servants is my most visited writing related article with over 7MILLION reads.
This website was started in 1996 and has 1 to 3 new articles (all written by me, I am the only writer on this site) published almost daily. In 2017 we crossed ten thousand articles published. As of 2023, EACH article gets MINIMUM 10 to 70 reads PER DAY, with the high traffic articles getting 500+ reads per day.
And since December 2019, my website now gets three hundred thousand to 7 million reads per month - well over ONE HUNDRED MILLION PAGE READS PER YEAR, making it not only the single most trafficked site in the State of Maine, but also one of the most visited websites in ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!
{{{HUGS}}} Thank you to all my readers for making this possible!
Quaraun the Insane
Volume 12:
Captain Quirk & The Pirate Ship Rent-A-Prize
Dark Fantasy Yaoi Novel Free Chapters To Read Online
Author of Cozy & Gothic Fantasy, Sweet/Fluffy M/M Furry Romance, Cosmic Horror, Space Opera, & Literary SoL genres. I write Elves, Fae, Unicorns, & Demons.
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The series has been renumbered. This volume is now 12 not 9.
Volume 12: Captain Quirk & The Pirate Ship Rent-A-Prize
Thinking he's found a genie in a bottle, a thief steals a glowing green bottle from a DiJinn wizard, then stows away on a SpellJamming ship about to leave port.
With no time to search the ship before it leaves, Quaraun signs up as a Helmsman: a wizard capable of using magic to sail giant pirate ships between planets for intergalactic space travel, a task he has never performed by after having meet GhoulSpawn is convinced there is nothing too it.
Realizing the wizard he stole the bottle from is on board, the thief tosses the bottle into the bay.
Quaraun and the thief have picked the wrong ship to board, as it's crew of pirates mutiny and take the ship as their own. Quaraun thee thief and the captain must work together to regain control of the ship.
Only problem being Quaraun cares nothing for the ship or it's crew... he just wants Pocket Lich back and is willing to do anything to find her.
In his bag of holding, Quaraun carries a ship in a bottle. The bottle when uncorked, releases the imprisoned ship and it's crew.
This is the story of how Quaraun came to be a Helmsman, how he acquired the ship, and why he keeps it's crew imprisoned in a bottle.
Pocket Lich
Wanted: One Wizard, Must Be Trained As An Experienced SpellJamming Helmsmen
Pirate Ship Rent-A-Prize, The Purple SpellJammer
Off To The Rock of Brawl
Elves In Space
Gang Rape of The Necromancer
The Paranoid Necromancer
Tinker Gnomes and Their Giant Space Hamsters
Dragons In Space
To Find A Lich
Thinking he's found a genie in a bottle, a thief steals a glowing green bottle from a DiJinn wizard, then stows away on a SpellJamming ship about to leave port.
With no time to search the ship before it leaves, Quaraun signs up as a Helmsman: a wizard capable of using magic to sail giant pirate ships between planets for intergalactic space travel, a task he has never performed by after having meet GhoulSpawn is convinced there is nothing too it.
Realizing the wizard he stole the bottle from is on board, the thief tosses the bottle into the bay.
Quaraun and the thief have picked the wrong ship to board, as it's crew of pirates mutiny and take the ship as their own. Quaraun thee thief and the captain must work together to regain control of the ship.
Only problem being Quaraun cares nothing for the ship or it's crew... he just wants Pocket Lich back and is willing to do anything to find her.
Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.
The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.
Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.
These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.
Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.
Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.
Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.
The Quaraun Series
 
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Meet The Characters:
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ZooLock the Great |
Quaraun's World:
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The World: |
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: First draft/sample chapters from the novels.
NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.
Answering Reader Question About The Quaraun Series:
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Behind the Scenes:
A Look At How I Write The Quaraun Series...
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The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house. The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following:
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The Quaraun series has been banned by the following:The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church (1991) (Reason: too much sex) (Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014) The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine (2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan) New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine (2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014) Fan-Fiction.net (2012) (Reason: Too violent) Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine (2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint) Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government (January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574) (Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents) NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".) Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban. |
Do you agree? #reading #quote pic.twitter.com/t3VjaM6UE7
— Janneke Jobsis-Brown (@JJobsisBrown) March 1, 2018
Sample Chapters of Many of the Novels Are Available To Read Online:
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Volume 13: King Gwallmaiic, The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley |
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Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 24: The Dread Chant of the Fan Boys |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 23: The Return To Fire Mountain Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake
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Volume 00: 000000 Volume 31: The Crystal Palace of Mt. Demontooth Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer
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Volume 00: 000000 Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive Volume 00: 000000 106: The Haunted Lighthouse |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 108: Friends Are Forever (Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series) |
Volume 119: My Two Favorite People
Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.
Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn, Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.
With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].
Reader discretion is advised.
Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?
Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.
April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing.
October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html
If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.
The Space Dock 13 WebRing
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If you enjoyed this page, don't forget to share it on social media (share links in the hovering sidebar to the left) or place a link to it on your own blog or website. Here is a code you can use on your site, just change the all cap parts to match the page you are currently read:
<a href="https://www.eelkat.com/INSERT-PAGE-URL-SLUG-HERE>INSERT PAGE NAME HERE</a>
If you enjoyed this page, don't forget to share it on social media (share links above) or place a link to it on your own blog or website.
If you use a prompt from this page to write a story and then post that story online, please link back to this page, so that your readers can pick some writing prompts and write their own stories.
When you link to this page, it will ping me to let me know you did, and this will allow me to visit the stories you write using these prompts, which I frequently share on my own social media to help gain you readers for your work.
What do you want to become?
What did you do today to step closer to that goal?
Whatever you do, be your best at it!
And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!
~EK
EelKat.com
pinterest.com/eelkat/
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the destruction of my farm, and the illegal selling of half of my land to Colliard, you shall lose your land.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my being homeless since 2006 - YES, I AM still homeless in 2023, you shall become homeless.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the backhoe driving over my house, you shall lose your house.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my car being cut in half, you shall lose your car.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my becoming crippled, you shall lose your health.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the murder of my son, your child shall die an equally horrible death. If you haven't got a child to lose, it will be a brother or sister or parents or spouse or whomever you love the most, and that you should know it was this curse which you brought upon yourself that killed them, they will die on exactly the 7 year anniversary of the very first time, you mocked the death of my child.Evil men go out of their way to try to drive a person to suicide.
Are you an evil man?
Are you sure you're not?
How many people have YOUR hate filled words killed?
Next time you go to do a mean thing to a fellow human, stop and really think about the consequences of your actions.
Did you ever notice how every one has a story to tell about me, yet not one of them ever speaks the truth?
What lies has YOUR gossiping tongue spread about me?
Did you know...
October 16, 2006, bomb blew up my house because of YOUR lies.
August 8, 2013, the house which replaced the one the bomb blew up, was driven over by a backhoe.
November 14, 2013, my 8 month old infant son was murdered because of your lies.
November 14, 2013, I was beaten up, paralized for 5 months, spent 18 weeks relearning to walk, I'm now crippled for the rest of my life, because of YOUR lies.
Are you proud of what you have done?
Enjoy your eternity in Hell. You earned it. You've certainly worked hard for it.
~EelKat
If you have any information about any of these events, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
On Writing The Quaraun Series
World-Building In Bizzaro Dark High Fantasy Yaoi
Weird-Building In Bizzaro Dark High Fantasy Yaoi
Building A Magic System In Bizzaro Dark High Fantasy Yaoi
- Wizards vs Witches vs Sorcerers: How are they different?
- Magic Systems and How to Build Them
- Necromancy: How will resurrection affect society as a whole?
- Spell-casting Side Effects of Magic
- Necromancy FAQ - A Real Necromancer Compares Fantasy Necromancy With The Reality
- Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
- Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
- Child Sacrifice in Fantasy Novels
Plotting & Writing Bizzaro Dark High Fantasy Yaoi
- Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing Literary Fiction Used In Epic Fantasy Novels
- Do you write a novel start-to-finish?
- Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
- Should I plan for ending or just keep writing?
- NaNoWriMo Overachievers: How did you do it?
- How Long is 50,000 Words?
- Why Write 50,000 Words In 30 Days?
- How long does it take to hit 1667 words?
- Average Typing Speed
Character Creation In Bizzaro Dark High Fantasy Yaoi
Writing Sex In Bizzaro Dark High Fantasy Yaoi
Disabled Characters In Bizzaro Dark High Fantasy Yaoi
Drug Use In Bizzaro Dark High Fantasy Yaoi
Horror In Bizzaro Dark High Fantasy Yaoi
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The Quaraun Series On Amazon:
I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.
~EelKat
Author Interviews
On CosPlaying The Quaraun Characters:
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Author Interviews
Reacting To Old Orchard Beach's
White Power Gay Hating Over Reaction Ban
Of The Quaraun Series:
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The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.
Phrases he yells from the truck include:
"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"
"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"
if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"
He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"
My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autism - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalized several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.
After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here: https://youtu.be/NUebzJ9sz9U and here: https://youtu.be/C4dZbgG-Smw
This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.
As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.
If You Like The Quaraun Series You Might Also Like:
Writing Resources I Use When Writing The Quaraun Books:
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