EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

UPDATE March 17, 2021: Another death. Waiting for a coffin to be delivered. Funeral the 21st. Unlikely to be streaming for a few weeks.


Update: March 27, 2021: It's not even been a week since the funeral, and now there is another death and another funeral.


UPDATE April 5, 2021: There are still no streams, as, we've now a another (a 3rd) funeral to prepare for.

And that is now 3 deaths in our family, in the past 2 weeks.

This 3rd death hits hard, because it was Pippi.

Our family has now had 13 deaths since March 2020.

April 10, 2015, 12 children were kidnapped.

May 15, 2015, the heads of 10 of them were nailed to my door.

August 24, 2020, one was found still alive. he was just 4 years old when she was kidnapped, but she remembered us, even though 5 years had passed.

August 25, 2020, Pippi came home, but her condition was not well. She had been tortured the entirety of the 5 years she had been held hostage. She was missing limbs and covered with scars, had broken bones many years not set, and suffered serious damage to many of her internal organs. That she was alive at all, in her condition, was a miracle. Doctors had little hope of her survival and she was sent home with Hospice care.

Pippi had cancer in her eye and needed surgery for it, which she was scheduled to have, shortly before she was kidnapped.

In the years they had her, not only did they torture her, but her cancer went untreated and spread to her brain.

By the time she was returned to us, her cancer had reached an inoperable state, so we knew she did not have much time left.

Had her cancer been treated, back when she was a toddler, she probably would have reach adulthood.

She died only 8 months after her return.

Another child, to cry out from the grave, for Etiole's vengeance upon her murderers. Another victim of evil men, who will stoop to no ends, to bury the crimes they committed 50 years ago.  Drug lords. Opium growers. Heroine dealers. Selling little girls 4 to 8 years old for sex to priests. They only care about money.

All hail the mighty tourist ass. Millions come to Old Orchard Beach every year, for one thing and one thing only: heroine. They sell their drugs to the tourists under the pier and off the balconies of that giant motel. Than drag little girls to the bedrooms of the condominiums on Smithwheel Road, behind the school. And any child who dares open their mouth and beg for help, gets tossed in the GooseFare Brooke Ravine.

Bastard drug lords. They've been doing this for 50 years, and the town hall and the police department, turn a blind eye to it, because they get paid $6million a year to not report it to the newspapers, when the body of another child washes down the ravine, into the gulley to be spit out in the ocean. No fewer than 5 bodies are found every summer, but how often does it get in the news?

The corruption of this fucking town needs to end.

Yet another dead at the hands of these criminals who run our town.

How long will the residents continue to turn a blind eye to what is happening in our town.

How many more children will you let them kill, before you stand up to them?

Another child is dead and no one in this town cares. So long as they get their money from the tourists. The blood of another murdered child screams from the graves, begging for justice. Tick tock, tick tock, so begins, yet another of Etiole's 7 year clocks.

This is why there were no/to few streams from May 2020 until now.

May 2020, after 4 years of not hearing from them at all, the FBI returned with a lead, which led to Pip's discovery a few weeks later in August.

Because of the nature of the situation, I could not talk about it, to tell you why streams had stopped.

The kidnappers, were enraged that we had recovered Pip, and that is when the attacks started up again on my home and family September 2020.

Pip's condition continued to grow worse, and she died April 5, 2021.

She was only 10 years old.

This is what it means, to not be white in America.

White men, won't even give a child the chance to grow up.

This is what white people do, to none white families like mine.

We are Gypsies with Jewish blood, for that alone we are hunted like animals.

What the men of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, did to my family, will never be forgotten or forgiven.

#If you have any information on the kidnappers or the murders...

#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

Have you forgot the extent of the damage these people did, all because, they wanted to dig up my land and removed bodies buried there, before my house builders found that barrel of bones?

Have you forgotten that 7 town hall workers, 5 public works men, a blond woman, her bald son, and her red haired sister Kendra, and 14 police officers, all lead by a man they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" were the ones 

I name every one of them, except for the ring leaders: blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name". I don't know who those 4 are. I'd never seen any of them, other than the Kendra woman before, and I only knew her fro her attacks beating me up at Panera in 2009, 2010, and 2013.

I can name every one of the others, because all I have to do is go to the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police department website, and their are their faces.

With the exception of blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name", every one else involved was government official who works for the state of Maine vis the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, the Old Orchard Beach Police Department, or the Old Orchard Beach Public Works.

And what exactly did they do?

August 8, 2013 they drove a backhoe over my house. That same backhoe drove over my previous house on the same land April 2007. That same backhoe drove over my poultry barn and horse stables July 2001. July 2001 was the first attack.

March 2015 was the the massive attack, with an entire fleet of trucks, and drove over the Church of the Holy Rhinstone, a church that stood on my land, my garage which is why I no longer have a garage to put my car in, my 2 sheds both of which had my tractors and other garden/crop machinery in them at the time. And of course the razing of the land, the cutting down of the apple orchard - the VERY apple orchard planted in 1530 that this town was named after... he actual "old orchard" of Old Orchard Beach... the very original trees - huge massive apple trees over 400 years old. The grape vineyards, the cherry trees, the pears trees. 

April 10, 2015, they returned, 4 police officer held me a gun point, while 10 other police officers held my children down with long poles with metal wire strangle loops on the end, and beat their faces in with cinder block bricks, knocking out every one of their teeth, breaking their jaws... POLICE OFFICERS DID THAT... while men they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" and "Dan" stood there and told the police officers what to do, how to beat them, while "Mark who needs no last name" boldly bragged that he paid the Old Orchard Beach police $6million dollars to do this.

May 15, 2015... the heads, hands, feet, and intestines of my children were nailed to my door. Later that same day police officer W. W. came to my home begging for forgiveness and claimed that men he referred to only as "Mark and Dan" were holding his beloved mother-in-law hostage and torturing her, and he helped in the April 10, 2015 attack, only to save her life and get her back. He claimed he had no prior knowledge of what was going to happen, claiming that he'd been told they were only going to "scare" us. He said he had not expected anyone to get hurt, he had not known my children would be tortured and kidnapped, he had not known they were going to be murdered. He said he was scared for his life and lives of his family. And he said: "They form a small army, our department doesn't have enough man power to stop them, and every one in this town is too scared to fight back. You don't know what's going on. And I think they mixed you up with someone else. They didn't know you were the owner of this land. They didn't know that was your motorhome. They thought someone else owned this place. It wasn't even your family they were after. You were the wrong target. You don't know who these people are. What they've done to our families. This is the actual Mafia. The real deal. I'm so sorry. This is the address they sent us to. But they had a different name as the owner. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were after someone else. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let my family died. And now yours is dead instead. This wasn't supposed to happen."

June 19, 2016... I did a very specific livestream. You see... A., D., B., and T. in the 1970s and 1980s, were in the habit of dragging big black trash bags into the forest, crossing my land to do it, and dumping those bags into the Goosefare Brook Ravine. In 1983, 3 snuck into Etiole's swamp and planted 3 acres of Marijuana. Someone found it and called the police, I don't know who... it was Maine's largest drug raid for decades. Many, many millions in plants where dug up and removed from Etiole's swamp. A few weeks later A, & D,s 10 year old daughter ran into my yard, touched my car on a dare from other children - the 1964 Dodge 330 former Old Orchard Beach police car, known by Stephen King fans as the REAL Christine, The World's Most Haunted Car... than jumped her bike, and sped down the road, as fast as she could, head on into a car coming the other way. She died instantly, he brain shattered all over the end of my driveway, and her mother A responded by the Battle of 458 - the biggest mass shooting ever in Maine history, that ended up with 3 Gypsy clans and 2 police departments, in a shoot out between 70+ adults all armed with guns. One of my cousins, an 8 year old boy, standing 3 feet from me, had his eye shot out by one of the bullets. While A ran around the street screaming: "FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

THOSE are the 31 children, whose bones were sawed up and tossed into the GooseFare Brook Ravine... yes, that DOES mean, police officers KNEW those children were there and covered it up.  And I witnessed that entire event.

And THAT is WHY... when police officers murdered my family in 2015, I did a livestream, walking to the ravine, to show the world, where those bones were... because I'm sick and tired of the police corruption in this fucking town, and those sawed up bones of 31 children are PROOF of what this town government is like.... as are the heads of my children that were nailed to my door.

At the end of The Battle of 4-5-8... A. took 2 gas cans and poured them all over the big dome house, than set a match to it, and no one knew, why when she did her brother B., started running, jumped in his robin egg blue truck and backed down the driveway, hit Portland Ave doing 70 and didn't stop driving until the high speed chase caught him in CT... oh but we knew before he was out of sight, why he started running... the dome house went up like Hiroshima into a mushroom cloud that could be seen across the entire state... turns out there was a Meth lab in that house.

June 19, 2016... the livestream of the bones went viral, it's what made my YouTube channel suddenly explode overnight... and police officer W.W. upset, by the fact that, the livestream included the entire police call and response, and that response was to laugh and do nothing... fed up with the corruption in his department, he forwarded that livestream VOD to the FBI, and the FBI arrived in Old Orchard Beach, to dig up the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, and all hell broke lose in this town, as most of the police officers suddenly found themselves arrested. An entire new police force from out of state was brought in to replace the long time officers who had proven they could be trusted to uphold the law. Many town hall officials and public works employees also found themselves arrested by the FBI.

June 26, 2016... barely a week later... the blond woman and the red haired Kendra woman showed up at my workplace, Scarborough WalMart, and tried to kill me, yet again... these are the same 2 woman who attacked me with golf clubs at Southern Maine Community College November 14, 2013... they left dead in 2013, I was paralized for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. I was out of the wheel chair, and I was without a walker, I was without a cane. I had almost fully covered from their November 14, 2013 attack with golf clubs... June 26, 2016, this time they attacked with shopping carts, and I'm now crippled for the rest of my life. They shattered 3 vertebra this time and it can't be operated on. I had to relearn to walk a second time, and I'm not yet recovered now in 2021. In 2013 they drove away in the 4 door white pickup truck. In 2016 they drove away in a gold Volvo SUV station wagon.

That blond woman and her red haired Kendra sister, they are wanted by the FBI for attempted murder of me and they are also wanted in questioning for being suspected of also being the murderers of my children.

I don't know who these 2 women are.

The blond woman shows up my driveway frequently, screaming and yelling, sometime accompanied by a small child, about 5 years old, that she pulls behind her in a red radio flyer wagon. She looks to be about 60 or 70. She often wears a denim button down shirt and jeans. She's prone to yelling at passing cars, while pointing up my driveway, and saying: "There's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband."

I've never tried to kill anyone, so accusation is baffling at best.

She seems to think I know who she is, and has made the claim, that "I was that brat in school"... the red haired Kendra woman, sometimes with her, claims to be her sister, also appears to be 60 to 70 and also seems to think I know who she is, and frequently says: "You bullied me in school, but no more, I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my turn to shine."

They BOTH make the claim they went to school with me, and yet, I never went to school, a well documented fact... because I'm the child the FBI rescued what the news media called "Maine's House of Horrors". I was locked in a cage when I was 8 years old. I was let out on Sundays, to go to church, and not allowed to speak or make eye contact with anyone, and this was only done infrequently, whenever church goers asked what happened to that girl you had". I was 31 years old when the FBI arrived, because of Heaven's Gate having killed 39 people, and my uncle being one of the members and self proclaiming himself as the leader of Heaven's Gate after Applewhite's death. The FBI was investigating the murder of 39 people in California, and had no idea they'd find children in cages in Maine as a result.

So you see, when the blond woman and her Kendra sister, make the claim they went to school with me and I was the class bully who beat them up, this is easily proven false, because the time period when I should have been in school, I was locked in a cage, being tortured by my sadistic uncle Bruce.

Also, they are in their late 60s to mid 70s... making them older than my parents, so how could I have been in school with them, even if I had gone to school? At best I would have been starting pre-school the year they would have been graduating high school.

These things they say about school, only further agrees with what police officer W. W. said May 15, 2015, when he made the claim, they had gotten me mixed up with someone else.

July 2016, a month after the shopping cart attack... yet another Old Orchard Beach police officer arrived, this one accompanied by 2 Biddeford officers, who had been former OOB officers... these 3 officers, had a vastly eye opening story to tell me.

They had been called to Old Orchard Beach, to my farm, to arrest me, a call made to them, by a man named Mark, whom one of these officers, claimed was his brother in law. This Biddeford officer, said he requested to transfer ot of Old Orchard Beach department years ago, because his sister (whom he claimed he suspected, but could not prove was the blond woman whom had attacked me at WalMart) was quote "trying to control the town" he said "treats Old Orchard Beach like a dynasty, thinks she's a duchess, has severe mental disorders, and thought she could buy the police department". He went on to say, she got in with the real Mafia years ago and went to her head, and now she thinks she IS the Mafia and most of Old Orchard Beach's business owners, especially the motel owners are scared shitless of her, because they believe her claim to be Mafia. He went on to say, she's not Mafia, but she's good at convincing people she is and stated "I wouldn't murder beyond her. She'd do it just to prove she is Mafia." He said he transferred out of OOB department to Biddeford department because he was fed up with how easy it was for her to get every officer to do anything she asked. He said "the corruption in that department runs deep; don't cross her or any officer she controls; they WILL kill you and every around you. You don't know who her husband is. He doesn't just control that town, he controls half the state."

What he was telling me was bizarre on extremes, but even more bizarre was the live feed radio call, that he had me listen too, as it was happening, on my farm in Old Orchard, while I was at my dad's house in Biddeford.

He said: "The Old Orchard Department called me, asked me to come over here. Buddy Will wanted to prove you were not in Old Orchard and that Mark has you mixed up with someone else. That fucking bastard is crying wolf and trying to frame you, we can prove it right now. We are fucking fed up WolfBoy."

He turned on his radio, so I could hear. A what I heard... a man whose voice I do not recognize, yelling at a Officer W.W. and saying: 

"That is Wendy, arrest her now! That is EelKat. She tried to kill me."

While officer W.W. and another officer, told the man: "his isn't Wendy. We have officers with her right now. Who tried to kill you? Wendy? Or THIS woman right here?"

"This woman right here! This is EelKat I tell you! Arrest her! What do you think I pay you for! You aren't allow to defy me! I own this town! You are my slaves. I command you to arrest her!"

W.W.: "This isn't EelKat. This isn't Wendy. I've known her for years. And right now, she's on the other side of the state. With 3 officers, listening to you right now. You are NOT the law. We've had it with you. You don't own me. And you've mixed her up with someone else. You've been harassing the wrong damned person. You dare call us about Wendy ever again, and I will personally arrest you for false reports, than I'll tell them everything. You'll never see the outside a prison for the rest of your life when I get done with you. You fucking leave this woman alone. You destroyed her life, because you couldn't tell her apart from someone else."

I used to aqua jog, mountain climb, horseback riding, and I hiked 13 miles a day. And in the blink of an eye, that lifestyle was taken away, and every day was struggle, just to sit up and breath, with no hope of ever walking again. I defied doctors. It's been 8 years and I can move around the house by holding on to things and I now can walk again, at the moment only short distances outside with a cane, and the hope is to continue to improve. I still have a long road of recovery ahead. But I'm walking again, something that 8 years ago, doctors said would never happen. 

My farm was razed.

My family was murdered.

I was 5 months paralysed, and had to relearn to walk. It was 8 years ago and I'm not yet fully recovered due to 3 inoperable vertebrae and hip dysplasia. November 14, 2013, 10PM, at WalMart, while putting bags of groceries in the back seat of my car, I was attacked by 3 rapists armed with metal golf clubs, who left me parallelized, in a wheel chair, broken spine, broken hip, broken pelvis, broken knees, serve nerve damage to my left side limiting the use of my left hand, my bladder incontinent from nerve damage, they left me for dead, and I had doctors telling me I would never walk again.

There's more that has happened. A lot more. The thousands of gallons of sewage they pumped into my motorhome in 2015. The cats. the Ptarmagin cats. World famous groups of cats. You remember them. If so, you remember what these people did to those cats. Poisoned. All dead the same day. 12 cats. Dead to what the vet described as: "enough poison to kill a great dane". My horse, she had her head beat in with a rock. My bantam roosters... 70 pet roosters, hung by their necks in rope nooses in my rose bushes.

All because this man, this mystery Mark, whose last name seems to be known to the police but is still unknown to me and man whom I've never seen or met - he keeps his face covered whenever he shows up... mistook me for someone else... and police officers and town hall workers and public work employees.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach... this is NOT the way life should be, you know it.

What these people did to me, should never have happened, and according to the police, it's been happening for 50+ years to hundreds of people, hundreds of families, in this town, and every one is too scare to talk about it or fight back to stop it. That NEEDS to change.

The corruption in our town, needs to stop... but it won't end, until every last person who is being harassed by these people stand up, put their foot down, and say enough is enough, we ain't gonna take this any more.

We the people of Old Orchard Beach need to take back our town.

NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....

The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
Of What? How to Better Bed Kings?


Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 

Writing Maine:
How To Write About Maine Life Accurately

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Looking for any info on Portland, Boothbay Harbour and Cabbage Island, Maine and surrounding area for my novel.

[quote=*******]Looking for any info on Portland, Boothbay Harbour and Cabbage Island, Maine and surrounding area for my novel. Anything that you could share with me, description, life styles, events, traditions, weather, housing, what there is for scenery, how they were named. I'm very appreciative for anything you can share. Thank you![/quote]

You are asking about quite a VAST and LARGE area - BoothBay Harbour in nearly a 5 hour drive from Portland. I live in Old Orchard Beach, just outside of Portland. Can give you a Native Mainer's view on Southern Maine, outsiders, and Americans. Can't help you with the Northern Maine stuff though.

Portland is in Southern Maine on the border of Massachusetts about an hour from Boston.

BoothBay Harbour is up in the Downeast region, (Mid Coast Maine) half way up to Canada with Augusta, Bangor, Bar Harbour, Rockland, Rockport, Lincoln, Camden, etc. and is a more then 5 hour drive from Portland.

Not sure the plot of your story, but chances are if your characters live in Portland they have NEVER seen/visited Bar Harbour. As 73% of all Portlanders do not have driver's licenses and only go to places they can walk to, with more then 50% of Portland residents having been born in Portland and have lived their entire lives without ever setting foot in any other town, not even neighbouring South Portland.

The only reason I've ever been outside of my hometown is because we are Gypsies and travel to all the towns around Maine during festival season, returning to Old Orchard in the off season, but never leaving the state of Maine. Us Gypsies being considered by most Mainers as "weird" BECAUSE we travel more then a half-hour from our drive way.

The average Native Mainer has NEVER set foot out of the town they were born in. EVER in their lifetime. Pointing out here that:

  • A tourist is someone who comes to Maine from America - most Mainers, Native and otherwise, depend on tourists for the bulk of their annual income

  • An American is anyone from the Lower 48 and is ALWAYS seen as a threat

  • An outsider is a person from America who has invaded our territory and committed the sin of buying or building a house in our state

  • A transplant is an outsider who has gained our trust by living in Maine WITHOUT CHANGING ADDRESS for 5 years

  • A newcomer is an outsider who has gained our trust by living in Maine WITHOUT CHANGING ADDRESS for 10 years

  • A Mainer is an outsider who has lived here 10+ years and whose children were born here AND DID NOT commit the sin of of doing what Americans do and going to out of state college

  • A Local Mainer is someone who was born in Maine, regardless of if their parents were outsiders or not

  • A Native Mainer is someone who is born into a family that has had at least FIVE generations born in Maine, without ANY of the 5 generations EVER living in another State for any time longer then 6 months. If you can prove your Native Mainer status there is such a thing as "the Native Mainer license plate".

Pointing out too, that Maine, up until a few yeas ago, was part of Canada, and Native Mainers do not consider themselves Americans, and every year vote to secede the Union to return Maine back to Canada where it belongs. The average Native Mainer also does not have a Social Security Number and refuses to accept American citizenship on any level, most still identifying as Canadians. We do not like that the Americans invaded our territory, stole our land, ripped it off of Canada and declared us Americans without our will or permission.

Though now in their 80s and 90s there are still Mainers alive today who were born in Canada, yet have never left their birthplace and are now considered Americans simply because America so very rudely declared a change of the border. They vehemently teach their children, grandchildren, and great grand children to hate with a vengeance "those evil thieving parasitic creatures who call themselves Americans and come in like Satan to kill, steal, and destroy". It is for this reason, that tourists are able to instantly identify transplanted Americans who just happen to live in Maine versus the actual Native Mainers who are openly vocal of their hatred for all things American.

Differences between transplants and Native Mainers:

  • Transplants send their children to public school

  • Native Mainers great school officials with a gun to the face, and cite the fact that "Satan controls the American government, the American government controls the schools, no child of mine is going to be brainwashed by you filthy Americans."

  • Transplants dress like Americans
  • Americans tell us Native Mainers we dress "bizarre" "weird" and "outlandish"

  • Native Mainers have a distinctive accent
  • Transplants talk like Americans

  • Transplants live in built up areas, and have monster sized houses
  • Native Mainers live in what transplants call "woodshed" or "tiny houses" most under 20 feet square; preaching "waste not want not" and viewing transplants as wastful spoilt brat city kids who only live in giant houses because they are snobs who want to be waited on hand and foot

  • Transplants are often white
  • Native Mainers are not white (the bloodline is a mix of Scottish, Native American Indian, Middle Eastern Jewish (Black/Hebrew Jew not White/Khasa Jew), and French)

  • Transplants are often Christian
  • Native Mainers are almost never Christian, if they have any Christ following religion at all, it's likely Catholic or Gnostic or Mormon or Mennonite
  • Native Mainers are far more likely to be of a Pagan faith such as Wicca, Faerie Faith, Voodoo, Enochian, Shamanism, etc

  • Christians have given themselves a back reputation in the past decade. Due to their hate mongering ways, terrorist attacks, hate crimes, and extreme levels of violence, Christian transplants are RARELY welcomed or accepted by Native Mainers and are often viewed as "monsters" or "beasts" and "the wolves in sheep's clothen" whom Jesus warned would come in his name to "kill, steal, and destroy". As the Christian hate crime attacks against increase against all things not white, not Christian, and not straight, Native Mainers grow steadily more fearful of this radically violent religion and many families now live in mortal terror of anything even remotely Christian
  • Catholic, Pagan, Atheist, Muslim and Jewish transplants are FAR more welcomed by Native Mainers, due to their peaceful, friendly, non-violent ways which starkly contrast the insane levels of violence and hate actted out by the Christian transplants
  • Fastest way to be eyed with suspicion by a Native Mainer, is to introduce yourself as a Christian and be a white skinned American
  • Non-white Christians and Christians from any country other then America, are accepted by Native Mainers same as Jews and Muslims are, due to the fact they lack the history of hate crime violence white power American Christians have displayed to us

  • Transplants average 1.5 children (how can you have .5?)
  • Native Mainers average 8 children

  • Transplants speak American English and have difficulty understand anything we Native Mainers say
  • Native Mainers speak Scottish English and have difficulty understanding anything Americans say

Americans love to lash out at us about our speech, belittling the way we talk, mocking it horribly. Native Mainers are often bullied and tormented by Americans who joke and laugh and call us retards, hill billies, mountain folk, hicks, etc, simply because we speak a completely different language then they do. They say our language is made up and not real. Our language is a real language, it's Scottish English - below are the ACTUAL and CORRECT spellings of Scottish words along with the ACTUAL and CORRECT grammar rules for Scottish English, which are usually horrifically ignored when a non-Scotsman author tries to write a "Scottish" accent and usually come off making a total mockery of our language):

Scottish English does not have "typical" American/UK/Canadian English contractions:

  • don't = does nae

  • didn't = dids nae

  • didn't see = dids nae sees no

  • didn't hear = dids nae hears no

  • couldn't = could nae or coont

  • They didn't ask you? = Dems dids nae no ask ya, eh?

  • You don't know the answer? = Ya does nae know de answer, eh?

  • I don't know the answer either. = Ayah, me does nae know dems answer, no?

  • He couldn't do it. = Hims coont nae dones ett.

  • He didn't see it. = Hims dids nea sees ett.

  • I hadn't thought of that. = Me hads nae thunk ett.

Scottish has contractions, not found in America, though:

  • am I not = amn't I

  • aren't = amn't

  • Am I not invited? = Amn't I invited?

  • Aren't you ever going to be done with that? = Amn't ya never gayyn gets done with dat dair?

  • Can't = Can'na

  • It's too dark, I can't see. = Ahya, ett do be too dark. I can'na nae sees a bleeding t'ing.

Plurals are different:

  • moose = meese

  • mice = meeses

  • wives = wifes

  • feet = footsies

  • He has big feet. = Hims does got wicked big footsies.

Pronouns are different:

  • he = hims

  • you = ya (meaning that in Scottish English ya'll is actually correct because it is contracting ya all not you all which is contracted y'all)

  • my = me

  • they = dems

  • That is my horse. = Dat dair do be me pony.

  • This is their horse. = Dis here do be dems pony.

Sentences are very long and wordy do to "reversed grammar" and "double negatives"and "them there" is added all over the place, "reversed plurals" and "descriptions" are added to try to explain what you're talking about and some words are just plain different.

  • He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription. = Hims did go to dat yawn dair new fangled store dems new folks call da Rite Aid place, ta gets himself some of dems dair wee pills what dar doctor gone und tells him, him has ta take each morning, a-yep, hims did, causing I's saws him doos ett I dids.

  • Why do you want to go to black tower? = What for ya does be wanting ta gayyn ta der blauch towar for?

  • I didn't do it. = I dids nae no does ett.

  • I am very upset, because they don't have any clam chowder. I am very hungry and wanted to eat clam chowder. Why didn't they say on the menu that they were all out of clam chowder? = Dey does nae be having de clam chowdah. I is very upset over dis. I has been wanting de clam chowdah. Me does be very hungry un dey is all oot of ett. What for does dey still has ett on deys menu iffy deys does be all oot of it, eh?

  • I was bitten by mosquitoes while camping in Bar Harbor. = I's got bits up by dems dair 'sketahs whens we wents a'camping oot on dar Bah Harbour (pronounced - Hahbah).

  • I took the lobster out to my car and found I had left the bag of potatoes in the trunk last night.= Me did tooks dem dair lobstah oot to me cah an did finds me had gone und left dems bag o'tattahs in de boot oovah night.

  • Could you turn on the lights? = Could ya open dems lights?

  • I turned the lights off didn't I? = I dids close de lights, eh? Dids I not?

  • That's great! = Dat wicked good, eh?

  • You're talking nonsense = Yer bums oot de windae.

  • He made a fool of himself. = Hims gone done hung hims bum oot de windae.

  • Well blow me down! = Well flibber me jiggered und toss me oot a windae.

Long words are often not able to be pronounced at all and are replaced entirely with "that there thing" with the addition of a description of the item you want to say (making one word become a full mouthful):

  • air conditioner = dat dair t'ingy hanging off dar yawn windae

  • Chrysler = dat dair big old car t'ingy what ya drives around in

  • prescription = dems dair wee lil purple pills what me doctor has gone und tells me, me has ta take each morning, afores me's can eats nothing

The fact that the Americans think, someone speaking a different language make that person sound stupid (they used the R-word) says a lot about their own views on people, actually. I mean, think about it.

You will also find Native Mainers are not welcoming of transplants, outsiders, Americans, or tourists, ALL of whom are called "invaders" and often greet them with a loaded rifle. The hatred Native Mainers have for Americans can not be under estimated and heaven help the tourist who thinks otherwise. They WILL be shot. Which is why some of us are trying to get guns banned here in Maine.

The Greater Portland Area includes :

  • Falmouth (don't know much about this one it, nearly a 2 hour drive from me)

  • Westbrook  (don't know much about this one it, nearly a hour drive from me)

  • Freeport (don't know much about this one it, nearly a 2 hour drive from me; home of L.L.Bean and the world's largest work boot, and the Bootmoblie)


  • Portland (home of the famous Dimillo's "floating restaurant" which is literally floating in the bay and catches you meal when you order it guaranteeing their "freshest fish in Maine"; about 10 feet from Dimillo's is a rather unique thing, your characters will be sure to stop and see and if they are a couple, ESPECIALLY a LGBTQ couple, they'll leave an engraved padlock on the Love Locks fence on Commercial Street then go out on the Dimillo's restaurant for a romantic dinner and throw the key out into the bay to seal their love for eternity - it is the ORIGINAL Love Lock Fence that started the now international tradition; Portland is also home of Maine's infamous "Purple Church" the first church in America to marry same sex couples - doing so since the1980s, long before it was legal to do so; also the most heavily vandalised and protested church in Maine; it is difficult to attend service as one must fit through the crowds of KKK and Westboro Baptists, to get into the building; the church Lady Gaga attends on her frequent visits to Maine)


  • South Portland (home of the Maine Mall - claims to be largest indoor mall/shopping center in New England; has 200+ stores on 2 levels, the building and it's surrounding parking lot covers 300 acres, to walk from the entrance, around the outer edge and  and is 14 minutes from my driveway; home of PortCon video game and comic book convention)




  • Pine Point (the town where the clam cake was invented, and the town responsible for the invention of canned soup; home of Maine's Lobster Wars - literally a war between lobstermen who stand out on their boats and shoot each other)


  • Old Orchard Beach (one of Maine's smallest towns with 3,000 residents - filming location of the Stephen King movie Thinner, home of the world's most haunted car that inspired the book Christine, and home of the mute Autistic girl that was the inspiration for Chinga and Rose Red - resulting in we get 2million+ King screaming fangirl tourists here ever summer;

  • has a sign which reads "Welcome to Old Orchard Beach, the 99.9% whitest town in America, in the 99.9% white state in the country" ;

  • is currently attempting to pass a law making it illegal for LGBTQ citizens to own property & LGBTQ+ citizens were forced out of their homes on January 4, 2016 by a court order declaring them: "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach" - after 9 months of protest and living homeless in their cars in nearby Biddeford, the 140+ families got the court order overturned and were allowed to return to their homes on September 2, 2016) 

  • Old Orchard Beach has The Ross Forest, known for it's huge white pine trees, some as much as 500 years old. The largest of which, sits in my driveway and is around 130 feet tall last time we had it measured - it has about 2 feet to go to reach a world record.

  • Most residents of Old Orchard, Ocean Park, and Pine Point (the 3 sister towns that share the same beach) could be described as "red necks"

  • Old Orchard Beach has a "Jewish District" where many Orthodox Jews live, keeping largely to themselves, not having contact with anyone; one of Maine's large Jewish Synagogues from the 1800s is in Old Orchard, right on the beach itself. 

  • OOB is one of the few towns where you'll see the more "extreme" Jews - the Rabbis with locs and aprons and fur hats; men in caps, women in veils and head wraps; you rarely see this "type" of Jewish person in Maine.

  • Houses are TINY. The average 4 room house is 20feet by 20feet, and the 4 room are 1 bedroom (that sleeps up to 8) and a kitchenette/dinette combo and a bathroom (water closet) and a"living room" that is too small to fit a sofain so has lawn chairs in it instead.

  • One room 12x12 "beach cabins" with no kitchen, no plumbing, and a port-a-potty on the lawn for a bathroom, are very common. A few hundred families have that set up here in OOB.

  • From the time I was 12 I grew up in a house that was 16 feet long and 9 feet wide, with 7 people, 8 dogs, and 5 cats. Before that I lived in the back seat of a 1964 Dodge 330 (aka The World's Most Haunted Car, yes, the real "Christine") that towed a 10foot by 8foot Vardo that my parents lived in.

  • I spent 9 years (2006 to 2015) living in a tent made out of a 8x6 tarp.

  • I currently have a 22' motorhome (inside living space is 14 feet by 7 feet - bedroom/living room/kitchen being all one room)

  • You only have to go 4 or 5 miles inland to find a DRASTIC change of lifestyle - inland Mainers have HUGE 30 foot by 40 foot houses, that out-of-state tourists say are TINY (and then they see our houses in OOB and say their cars are bigger then our houses.)

  • The Corporal of the Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan lives 8 houses down the street from me.

  • An 8 foot tall white cross stands in my yard to remind me I'm not white.

  • Contrary to popular belief, Heaven's Gate is still active, now waiting for a comet called WormWood, headquartered out of Palmyra Maine and has members who live in Old Orchard Beach.

  • Old Orchard is the "drug hive" of Maine, with opium/heroine/marijuana/meth growers/chemists making up a good 1/3 of the 3,000 residents.

  • OOB has a ravine where drug lords in the 1970s used to dump bodies; and bones are continually being found in the ravine, most recent finding happened June 13, 2016

  • The town bills itself as "Family Friendly" yet as 2 topless bars, a tavern is the kindergarten's next door neighbour, another bar sits in front of the elementary school, and crime is so bad that the ELEMENTARY schools (grade k to 4) require police officers stationed as each exit point

  • and WATCH OUT when the Eagle Mountain Holy Roller Gang arrives in town - about 10,000 big burly super Christian white power bikers in leather chaps many of them ordained ministers, some of them neo-Nazi skinheads, quickly followed by their much more famous rivals The Hell's Angels an additional 20,000 bikers - they come to Old Orchard Beach for a massive motorcycle convention every June, and OOB becomes a mass hoard of gang fights between Holy Rollers, Hell's Angels, and the Crpyts (Bloods & Blues); our 24 officer police force takes on an additional 48 officers from June to August to deal with the gang problem.


  • Ocean Park (not a town, but rather a district of Old Orchard Beach, and refuses to believe it; one of Maine's most outlandishly radial populations and so popular with horror authors to base "small town Maine" off of that it houses a hotel that invites authors to come and write horror stories about it's super insanely extreme radical residents; is rumored to be the town which inspired The Lottery by Shirley Jackson.has a ban on: tobacco, alcohol, "blacks", "Indians", "Japs", "Chinkos", Irish, Catholics, Muslims, Jews, and "Christians of debatable faiths" (meaning Mormons, Seventh Day Adventists, and Jehovah's Witnesses - I know because, I asked) you can be arrested for any of those "crimes" (such as being a black person and walking into town, because being born with black skin is a criminal offence). I once tried to buy a house in Ocean Park (in 2006) and was told by the Ocean Park Real Estate (the ONLY real estate agency approved by the Ocean Park Comity to sell houses) that I was not allowed to buy property in Ocean Park because I was #1 not white (Scottish Gypsy) and #2 not Christian (Mormon & Voodoo) to which they added "our town has standards you know" they said. Ocean Park is a super extreme white power town that thinks it's a gated community. Many residents are proud KKK.


  • Saco (pronounced like Taco) (another filming location of Thinner; home of the tiny grocery store Saco Shaws aka the "transgender murder store" where white powers stake out the parking lot and beat up LGBTQ citizens with shopping carts, resulting in 3 murders at the store - one an 90 year old black man, one a mother of 4 children, and one a white power mom who was killed when a transvestite fought back and cut her head off in August 2015; police have had to beef up security around the store and the poor LGBTQ+freiendly store manager is at wits end with the KKK attacking his customers)


  • Biddeford (one of Maine's largest cities with 26,000 people;

  • first town in Maine to vote to allow big box stores, thus first town to have a WalMart; Due to being in Biddeford and being the closest WalMart to OOB, this is the WalMart which carries very distinctive "Jewish Cuinse" brands and items, not seen in any other WalMart in Maine

  • Biddeford WalMart was once voted "the most BoonDock friendly WalMart in America" and has a massive RV lot, several dozen acres wide, where you can see Travellers, Gypsies, Romani, SnowBird Seniors in big RVs, and Hippies, all camped in the parking lot - dozens, sometimes hundreds of RVs, campers, motorhomes, AirStreams, tow behinds, and 5th-wheels, lined up all around this extreme "nomad friendly" WalMart, that allows RVers to park for free for up to 14 days in a row, providing they check in at the service desk each day and buy their meals at WalMart every day while they are there.

  • WalMart BoonDocking is a big thing here in Maine as the homeless rate is so astronomically high. Biddeford WalMart has gained a reputation of being a "safe zone" for homeless, transient, and nomadic families in the area, resulting in many homeless with signs, standing in the medium street of the highway; it has become such an issue the past few months (summer 2016) that Biddeford police officers are now standing in the medium strips with signs, saying "please don't pan handle it's this is a dangerous intersection". Legally the officers can not tell the people to leave unless they do something to disrupt traffic.

  • home of the Dorothy Walker Bush Hospital Unit; a division of the Barbra Bush Hospital.

  • Biddeford had 2 abandoned hospitals, both hot spots with ghost hunters, Trull Asylum (later Trull Hospital and later Trull Nursing Home) and Notre Dame Hospital

  • a mill town built up and down the Saco River famous for it's massive brick mill buildings and it's 3 towering smoke stacks

  • home of the DownEaster Amtrak train;

  • home of the Saco River Curse; the location

  • where the KKK stages a lot of their biggest parades/marches/riots;

  • also home of the local "God Hates Fags" church and the Westboro Baptists of Maine can often be encountered marching around LGBTQ friendly stores throughout the Greater Portland area as a result; it's Rotary Park recently had to take down it's giant flag pole as it was the KKK's "hanging post" for gay men, who were being striped naked and hung by their ankles at the top, some 30 feet above ground, the park is not used much in the winter and one man almost froze to death after hanging there several days before anyone entered the park and found him

  • French is the native first language of most native residents of Biddeford

  • Christians are rarely encountered in this extremely Catholic city, where you often see nuns and priests walking in the streets

  • Biddeford has a "Jewish District" where many Orthodox Jews live, keeping largely to themselves, not having contact with anyone; one of Maine's large Jewish Synagogues from the 1800s is in Biddeford, just behind the police station.


  • Buxton (massive fields of horse, dairy, and pig farms, not many residents in between)

  • Dayton (massive fields of horse, dairy, and pig farms, not many residents in between)


  • Arundel (home of some of Maine's most radical churches, including yet another "God Hates Fags" church and the now infamous Arundel Christian Tabernacle (which shut down in 2003) who's Pentecostal minister was known for setting up huge tent revivals all over the state (which I attended), inviting big name TV Evangelists (think Kenneth Copland and his crew and rock star Carman ( the writer of the songs Our Turn Now and Sunday School Rock aka I Love Jesus and Great God, and Addicted to Jesus, and JC In the House,   if you've never encountered him before, he frequently does concerts here in Maine, Maine being the super insane, super over the top, extreme radical, house bombing, cross burning, cat murdering, gay hating super Christian region that it is) and  Jimmy Swaggart and Jesse Duplantis and Benny Hinn and the Eagle Mountain Holy Roller Motorcycle Gang); I attended the Arundel Christian Tabernacle for many years during it's 1990s hey days, before the FBI came in and shut down the minister who owned the church, because he had convinced several dozen senior citizens in the area to turn over their disability and SSI checks to him, which ended up resulting in the deaths of 2 women in their 80s as they had no money to by food or prescriptions they needed because their state checks were being direct deposited to the church.) 


  • Wells (famous for it's many miles of antique stores lining it's maine road, PBS's Antiques Roadshow often films here.)

  • Cape Porpoise (refugee town for Nazi soldiers in the 1950s; has high rate of active Neo-Nazi residents today; extremely white power town - very risky to be non-white in this town)

  • Kennebunk (extremely white power town - very risky to be non-white in this town)

  • Kennebunk Port (home of President Bush; headquarter town of the local KKK - very risky to be non-white in this town)

  • Ogunquit (won an award a few years back that billed it: "the gayest town in America" due to more then 90% of it's population being same sex couples; the town had legalized same sex marriage back in the 1980s; when anti-gay protests started in the 1990s, most every single house, apartment, store, and business in Ogunquit was painted shades of lilac, lavender, and purple; many of the buildings are still purple to this day)


  • Alfred (don't know much about this one it, nearly an hour drive from me; most farm territory)

  • Sanford (don't know much about this one it, nearly an hour drive from me; most farm territory)

  • Springvale (don't know much about this one it, nearly a 2 hour drive from me; most farm territory)

  • Shapley (don't know much about this one it, nearly a 2 hour drive from me; most farm territory)

  • Yarmouth (home to the Yarmouth Clam Festival; the one festival in Maine that attracts almost every resident of the entire state into one very small location all at once. This is one of the rare times you'll see the Romani (who are NOT Gypsies) as they are the ones who set up the amusements and rides.


  • Lisbon Falls (a town that nearly doesn't exist, has only a few hundred residents, and is so small, you can literally drive from one end of it to the other in under 3 minutes - if you blink, you'll miss it and never know you drove through. HOWEVER, if your characters are from Maine, they are going to move in a mass hoard along with the rest of Maine to land in the miniscule main street for one of Maine's most iconic events, an event that also attracts throngs of outsiders (people from America) who come to watch what most tourists describe as the most bizarre celebration they've ever encountered: The Moxie Festival

  • if your characters Native Mainers they will drop everything to not miss this event

  • if your characters are transplants, they will make lots of wise crack jokes about the event and probably avoid Lisbon the entire week

  • if your characters are tourists, they'll likely encounter a Mainer who's going to drag them to the event if they want to go or not

  • the highlight of the festival is to wait in a massive long line for 5 to 7 or more hours, and could be nearly a mile long weaving up and down every side street in town, just to do one thing: have "The Moxie Man" (seen on the bottle of Moxie) now in his late 80s scoop you out a scoop of his hand made Moxie flavoured ice cream into a tall glass of - Moxie! and get his autograph and a picture of you and him together with him doing his "Moxie Man pose" pointing at the camera and saying "Drink Moxie!"

  • See an interview with The Moxie Man here (also listen to his thick Maine accent)

  • it was the first carbonated soda invented, and invented in Lisbon Falls, birthplace of soda pop

  • in the 1870s Moxie had a different name: Snake Oil - Good for what ails you! It was guaranteed to cure multiple ills, including “loss of manhood, paralysis and softening of the brain”.

  • It is great fun for us Mainers (who chug Moxie daily, often drinking 6 to 12 cans a day) to watch the tourists as they make their first attempt to drink Moxie, then laugh hysterically while watching them run gagging and screaming and running around frantically looking for something NOT Moxie to drink, to get rid of the "burning sensation of having just drunk a bottle of kerosene" (as most tourists describe it)

  • Most tourists say "no wonder it's good for what ails you! it burns out whatever dares be in you!"

  • Oddly, not of us Mainers see it as "burning" or "tasting of kerosene" which is perhaps because most of us grew up drinking it from childhood and probably have long ago burned out any taste buds we had 

  • Most Native Mainers refuse to drink "bland" and "tasteless" Moxie competitors (Coke, Pepsi, Tab, etc) saying they feel "flat" on our tongues

  • The other highlight of the festival is The Moxie Chugging Challenge Contest - how many gallows of Moxie can you chug in as few seconds as possible, without needing to find something to wash the Moxie down with. Contest Rules: Chuggers will drink from 12 oz cans one at a time. You will not be able to open the next can until you have fully completed the can before. No devices, such as knives and spears, will be allowed. The winner will be the entrant who consumes the most soda in a 2 minute period. Not keeping your Moxie down will result in instant disqualification. Orange 10 gallon "vomit" pails are jokingly available for and handed out to the tourists who attempt to go up against a Native Mainer in this contest.


  • Parsonsfield (don't know much about this one it, nearly a 3 hour drive from me; Maine's large town land mass wise, home to the local branch of The Church of Satan, which is constantly vandalised and graffiti by angry Christians, mostly white power, who march around the church with signs)


The Greater Portland Area is on the boarder of Massachusetts about an hour from Boston. FBI office of Maine is in Portland, as it is one of the few "large" cities in Maine, though when compared to Boston, you could fit all of Portland inside of a single Boston block. Portland is known as The Forest City, because the trees are so dense that from the air it doesn't look like a city at all.

BoothBay Harbour is up in the Downeast region, half way up to Canada with Augusta, Bangor, Bar Harbour, Rockland, Rockport, Lincoln, Camden, etc. Don't know a lot about those regions as they are way up North and it's rare anyone in Maine ever travels more then 15 miles from where they were born. 73% of Portland's residents do not have cars/driver license, with more then 50% of them, never having set foot out of Portland their entire lives.

Most residents of Old Orchard, Saco, and Biddeford have never been outside of those 3 towns.

Maine has fewer than 2 million residents total in the entire state according to the last .gov census count. MOST of Maine's population lives in Lewiston, Auburn, Portland, Biddeford, South Portland, and Ogunquit.

The majority of Biddeford mega HUGE population of 26,000

I live in Old Orchard Beach, just outside of Portland. 

Coastal living in Maine has huge extremes from the super rich of Kennebunk, with multi-million yearly incomes, to the poverty stricken of OOB/Biddeford area with incomes of only $2,000 to $5,000 a year. Most residents of Kennebunk make more per day then most residents of OOB make per year. It is in these 2 towns where you see Maine's most extreme, extremes. Drive through one and then the other and it's hard to imagine they are in the same country, let alone the same county.

A lot of tourists, especially the Stephen King fans who come here looking to meet "Stephen King's Gypsies" (the Gypsy Clan he featured in the movie Thinner) say they come to Maine more to oogle at us "hicks in the sticks" or to see "the wild mountain men" or "get pictures of the gun toting fishermen", seeing how the rest of the country apparently doesn't have those, or so tourists like to tell me, while they are trespassing on my farm and tearing up my plants because "I just want a piece of the Thinner movie!"

I'm the "local witch" (even though I'm not a witch) but locals like to come throw rocks at me, shoot me with paint balls, or ask me to "can you put a curse on ___ for me, you know, like you did in the Thinner movie". If Stephen King ever asks to film a movie on your farm: say "No", the screaming fans will never give you a moment's peace for the rest of your life.

Know that EVERYBODY who comes to Maine, the first words out of their mouth are always: "Do you know Stephen King?" followed by "Can you tell me how to get to Stephen King's house?" followed by "What's it like living near Stephen King?" along with "So how many Stephen King books have you read, what are your faves, which ones...?

Nope, I don't know him. Yep, I do know directions to his house, it's a 5 hour drive north of me, nope, never read any of his books, nope, never seen Thinner. What's it like living near Stephen King, even though Bangor is about 75miles away? Annoying, tiring, his out of state fans never stop fangirling and fanboying, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, worse around Halloween when they arrive in droves. It's no wonder he lives in Florida now. Yeah - he's lived in Florida for a decade or so.

I'm not white. No. I'm a Gypsy. #1 tip for non-white people: be ready to duck and run - be able to run faster than bullets and recognized what direction they are coming from: KKK, Neo-Nazis, and gun toting lobster men abound around here. In the summer, the locals shelve the guns and smile sweetly at the tourists. From September to May, it's a hell fire of shoot outs. Yes, in 2016. (See my youtube channel for the 3 shoot outs caught on camera on my street just in the past month) In the nearby mill town of Biddeford, the KKK frequently gather and parade up and down the streets, often around the Jewish Synagogue. Locals proudly call OOB the "whitest town of the whitest state". I have an 8 foot tall white cross standing in my yard to remind me that I'm not white. A bomb blew up my house in 2006, to also remind me that I am not white. 10 of my cats have been kidnapped, 2 of them have had their heads returned to me, to remind me that I am not white.

And guess what else? Try to find the white power terrorist attacks on the news. You can't. News reporters REFUSE to cover ANY white power attack on a non-white or LGBTQ person here in Maine and there being so few of us in the state, we have a hard time getting anyone from outside of the state to listen to our desperate please for help either because they always say :"But it wasn't on the news..." No. We know. That's the problem. Try going to the police. When a bomb blew up my house, the officer laughed and said "Well, it's just Gypsies." No investigation was done and when I went to the department a week later to find out why I hadn't heard back from them the officer said "whoops, we must have lost the bomb from the evidence room, we have no record of your house blowing up."

Welcome to Maine: the nation's "whitest state". 

Oddly, the white power anti-gay problem only started in the past decade. In the 1800s it was RARE to find a white person in Maine. Old Orchard and Saco were mostly Gypsies or black. Biddeford was most French and Irish. The Orthodox Jewish community was HUGE and included 2 synagogues and a temple (all 3 still in use). Very few people were Christian, most were Catholic, Jewish or Muslim. Biddeford has a large Muslim cemetery from the 1800s. Portland has several old Jewish cemeteries.

It wasn't until Stephen King got famous that we saw the influx of a lot of whites and Christians and the mass BOOM of the population. 

The problem we Gypsies have specifically was Stephen King's Thinner and Christine. 

Here's some general details of Gypsy culture (the race actually and correctly called Gypsy, not the Rom or Travellers or other groups).

In 1978, no one knew we lived up here, pretty much isolated from the rest of society. In 1980 a rival clan (The group the FBI refers to as "The Scottish Traveller Crime Family of America" and listed as "the 3rd most wanted crime family in America" as well as "the most dangerous gypsy clan in the world"; commonly referred to by Americans as "The Scottish Mafia") landed on our land and did what their clan is famous for: squatting on massive levels of hundreds of people and as many tents, setting up walls of barbed wire fences, and marching around the perimeters with illegal military weapons, holding the family who owns the land hostage inside.

Our peaceful farm life, quickly dissolved into months of terror, as the very "gypsy" clan that in the 1950s gave all gypsy cultures a bad name everywhere, forever branding all groups as thieves, kidnappers, and prostitutes landed like a plague in our yard. Wanted by the FBI for murder, kidnapping, and human trafficking, they set up a "drug shop" on our farm, turning our potato fields into marijuana crops.

That same year, a second "gypsy" clan, this one a French group from Quebec, known as the Canadian Travellers, landed on the farm next door to ours. Both clans are infamous for stalking each other across the country, staging small town take overs and then having massive shot outs at each other in trying to determine which clan now "owns" the town.

Their shoot outs were legendary across the midwest through the 1950s/60s/70s/80s most noted were the ones in Wyoming and Colorado.

But the shoot-out that would forever change how the world viewed us Gypsies was the Battle of 4-58, whi happened in Old Orchard Beach Maine, in 1983, as the two clan let loss in gun fire, with about 70 adults standing on either side of the driveway, justing shooting at each other. Police arrived and joined the shoot out. Americans arrived and joined the shoot out... and one of the French clans women ended the shoot out by pouring 3 gas cans over the doom house, and a massive BOOM leveled everything in the area, including the house, as a meth lab explosion sent the dome house to the top of a mushroom cloud that was seen all over southern Maine.

Our town had just hit 1,000 residents that year.... today, thanks to Stephen King, we get 2 million tourists gathering in our town, most of them barreling up into my farm with one question on their lips:

  • Do you really put curses on people like ya did in Thinner?

  • Can you get me Stephen King's autograph?

  • Omg! Omg! Omg! Omg! Omg! Omg! It's you! It's you! It's really yooooooooou!

  • Can you put a curse on somebody for me? Please, please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeease?

Me: I'm just trying to grow my gardens around the crazy Americans fangirling in my driveway. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY DRIVEWAY?!?!


Because after the FBI arrived, the 2 "gypsy" clans, The Atwaters and the Cyrs, fled, 1994, as a result of the shoot out, I woke up one day to find a camera crew in my yard saying: "Hey, we're filming a movie. Stephen King wants real live Gypsies in it, told us you still live true to the old ways and are just the type of Gypsies he's looking for. Something about clan wars and shoot-outs, just go about your day, don't mind us, we'll be gone in a few hours."

They never asked or got permission to film Thinner on my farm or put our cars in the movie or film us real live Gypsies living our every day PRIVATE life on our PRIVATE PROPERTY. We'd never heard of Stephen King before, had no clue who he was or who these crazy Americans were or why they were in our yard, or the insane levels of extreme consequences it would have on our life, us letting a bunch of guys with cameras walk around our yard for a few hours with their cameras.

Our farm has been and endless parade of Stephen King fans trespassing in and out of here all hours of the day ever since 1997.

My life has become an endless stream of answering the question:

  • Omg! Omg! Omg! Omg! Omg! Omg! It's you! It's you! It's really yooooooooou! SQEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Can you put a curse on somebody for me? Please, please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeease?

I'm not in the movie, I've also never seen the movie, or read the book, but apparently in the movie, there is a "gypsy witch/fortune teller/queen" who puts a curse on somebody and makes hell of their life, and that character was based off of me, thus why they wanted parts of the movie filmed in my yard, because I am a Gypsy Queen (witch/fortune teller, being what the Americans call me). The result of which is the only thing any one ever knows about real Gypsies is that real Gypsies are different from Romani because real Gypsies put curses on people.


So, I get to see on an almost daily basis just exactly HOW the Americans view us Gypsies. And for the most part it seems the common belief is that we are not even Human, but some sort of "mythical race" like Elves or Gnomes.

Yeah... every year since the release of Thinner, thousands of people come up in here and ask me:

  • "Are you really a Gypsy? I thought Gypsies were mythical creatures like Unicorns and BigFoot. I had to come see for myself if Gypsies were actually real creatures. "

And another common phrase people say to me is:

  • "I wish I had natural born magic powers like you Gypsies do."

As well as:

  • "I hate being Human. What's it's like not being a Human?"

The Americans were all: "OMG! Stephen King's filming a movie in our town! Think of the tourist income it'll bring in!" Well, it certainly did that, but at what cost? Trespassers have traipsed up into our yard uninvited in such large groups all year long that my rose bushes are all destroyed. I can't even think of having a lawn as the foot traffic kills the grass before it can grow. I can't plant my crops because people walk over the plants and crush them. Tomatoes and lettuce smashed into the ground: "Oh was that something you was gonna eat? Ha ha! Silly me, not looking where I was going." Half my trees are stripped bar of lower bark and branches because everyone has to "take a piece of Thinner" home with them.

The local Americans got their filthy lucre money, but us Gypsies? Our lives been completely destroyed and no one cares about that. A bomb blew up my house. The KKK put a giant a giant cross in my yard. A neo-Nazi group has moved in down the street from us - 10 of my cats were kidnapped April 10, 2015, so far the heads of 2 of them have been returned. That same day - the kidnappers also filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep.

This is the reality of what it is like to be a member of the clan America has dubbed "Stephen King's Gypsies" or "The Thinner Gypsies". While the Stephen King fans are flocking in screaming fan girl hoards, destroying everything under their trampling feet, the anti-Semitic white power KKK and neoNazi groups are marching around killing our pets, bombing our houses, and carrying crosses - because unlike the Romani and the Travellers, we are REAL Gypsies, the actual race actually called Gypsy, and that means we have Jewish blood in us..

We didn't ask for this. We've lived isolated from white society for centuries. Before the Thinner movie our town had only 1,000 residents. Now look at it. We like our privacy, but ever since The Thinner movie was released, our lives have been under constant scrutiny to the point it feels like I'm living on a microscope slide and the whole world is stopping by the catch a peek. Do you have any idea what that's like?

And do you know, my car has been vandalized by Stephen King fans AND people terrified of ghosts and demons, so many times, that it has had all it's chrome stripped off dozens of times, I have to keep rebuying it because fans keep breaking off pieces of "the real Christine" and you remember that church I mentioned back there, Arundel Christian Tabernacle, that I was for a long time a member of? Well, one night they decided to gather together and cut my car in half - said they had to kill the car to kill the demon. Yeah. I had to but the chopped up pieces of my car in storage until I can come up with the $57,000 estimated cost it's gonna take to put it back together.


We get hit by a hurricane every 4 or 5 years. They do massive amounts of damage when they get caught in the Bay and start circling over us again and again, trapped in the horseshoe shape of the Saco Bay. Most hurricanes miss us though.

Blizzards and Snow Squalls (a Blizzard at Sea, aka a Snow Hurricane) are far more common and extremely dangerous.

A Blizzard is a snow storm with 75MPH winds and a snowfall average of 3 feet per hour. They happen near daily in January and February. My yard frequently has snow in excess of 20 feet deep.

Keep in mind too, that Maine is FAR NORTH and in winter has only 5 to 7 hours of sunlight a day IF the sun is out. Right now in October sunrise is around 7:30AM and sunset around 5PM; come November during NaNo it'll be 8AM to 4PM, in December 9AM to 3PM.

February 1998, we got ice over a foot deep, most of the state was in full blackout (no electricity) for 3 full months (Google "Ice Storm '98" for the news reports)

I live on a beach. I February temps are -20F to -30F most years, BEFORE wind chill factor. Our coldest year was October 2007 when it reached -48F, wind chill bringing it down to -175F

January 24, 2015 we got 12 feet and 7 inches of snow, FROM A SINGLE STORM, multiple storms like that. (Google "Blizzard Juno" for the news reports). My motorhome is 12 feet 1 inch tall - she was buried in a single storm.

We have snow on the ground from October to May.

While it is uncommon to get snow June, July, August, and September, it does happen from time to time. August 2014 - it snowed.

Locals start wearing shorts and bathing suits when the temps reach a sweltering 60F. It's considered a heatwave the few days of June and July that we see temps of 70F to 80F

Most tourists I meet (and I meet about 30,000 each summer, thanks to Stephen King's Thinner and Christine) tell me that they find the average coastal Mainer to be "bizarre" or "outlandish" often saying they feel like we "are not Humans" and that we "act very alien" and that they feel like they've "stepped through a portal to another world". The inland locals tend to describe us that way too.





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