You have encountered an extremely old website that continues to exist in old web ways, the same way it has done for now three decades.
In spite of being now 30 years old this year, started in 1996, it is still heavily active and old pages updated daily, new pages added daily, still now in 2026. All hand written, all hand coded (no AI), all by me, same as it ever was.
We Still Exist: The Old Web Did Not Go Away, You Just Forgot How To Find Us
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This site was NOT designed for mobile devices (as they had not been invented yet when I created it) thus this site looks best on a computer, at 1280x768 or above. |
This is a very old website created in 1996, so, yes, javascript is needed for the site to work as it should. If things don't function, you may need to update javascript drivers on your device |
This site tries to be mobile friendly but it's been online since 1996, so old pages may not load right on mobile devices, and as this site has had pages added near daily for 30 years there are now over 20k pages here. |
Having started out in life as a GeoCities site, this site contains glitter, bright colours, blinkies, moving gifs, and other things the old web was known for. |
f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:
...and after that video, you want these ones:
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If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
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The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:
If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Do you know who this woman is?
On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.
She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.
Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.
The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club. |
The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
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If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?
Video explains what else she's done ...
If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
Years ago, I had a Squidoo lens article titled "Creating Character Profiles" (http://www.squidoo.com/character-development-questions) which was a list of questions to ask your characters to help you flesh them out. Many readers have requested its return, (Squidoo went offline in 2013 and a month later a crazed psycho showed up at Southern Maine Community College and tried to kill me leaving me paralyzed for 5 months and relearning to walk for 18 month, thus why the page went offline and I was unable to put it back online) and as I was getting ready to bring it back, it occurred to me that better then just a list of questions, why not I actually SHOW you how I take that list of questions and use it to build my characters?
And so, I'm creating this series of pages, each one featuring a different character, with the same questions being answered.
At the end of the profile, you will find the list of questions, which you can use for your own characters.

When Quaraun first meets him, he introduces himself as Glinta, or sometime Glinter.
In Summoner of Darkness, Quaraun meets him again, and this time he introduces himself as GhoulSpawn.
Unicorn, finding the word GhoulSpawn to be difficult to pronounce, usually calls him Ghouly.
Because of his manic way of acting and talking, most people refer to him as GhoulSpawn the Crazed.
In the Twighlight Manor series he is known as The Gremlin.
GhoulSpawn's father was an evil Demon who commanded an army of Ghouls. Because of this, he was known simply as "The Ghoul".
GhoulSpawn's mother was a Sun Elf whom had fallen in love with The Ghoul, but was forbidden by her family to have contact with him. She in turn ran away with her Demon lover, thus causing a war between Elves and Demons.
The Sun Elves tell a story of how their Princess was kidnapped and raped by the Ghoul, thus she gave birth to the Spawn of the Ghoul. Though his mother named him Glinta, she died while he was still very young, and his Elven kin, took to calling him GhoulSpawn as a way to brand him not one of them. He grew up constantly being told he was unloved and unwanted and should have been killed at birth, resulting in the very low self esteeme he has.
GhoulSpawn is an interdimensional time traveller, because he is unable to remain in any one time, place or dimension long, because he was born in the Hell Dimension, which exists outside of the realm of time and space as we know it. The Ghoul tried to escape the Sun Elves by going to the distant future (1974) and leaving his half-Elf son and the boy's mother there to live among a band of LSD addicted hippie Humans whom drove a 1974 AMC Gremlin.
The Sun-Elves eventually found their missing she-Elf and brought her back to the 1400s where she belonged, but she refused to leave her half-Demon son behind.
After his mother's death, GhoulSpawn was made a servant to his High Elf step-father and full blooded Elf step siblings, all of whom abused him and treated him like a slave. He grew up constantly being told he, because he was only a half-Elf, was unloved and unwanted and should have been killed at birth, resulting in the very low self esteem he has.

GhoulSpawn is the tallest character of the Quaraun series, but his exact height is never given.
Quaraun is 5'6" and Unicorn 5'1", both of them are quite a bit shorter then GhoulSpawn, who is described as being "nearly a foot taller than Unicorn". This would make him around 6'1".
Like all Sun Elves, GhoulSpawn was born with golden, mustard yellow hair.
Like all Demons, his hair glows in the dark.
When exposed to prolonged sunlight, his hair fades, eventually turning a phosphorescent, eye blinding, limon yellow.
If he stays mostly indoors, his hair grows darker over time, eventually (after a few weeks) going back to it's golden mustard yellow state.
Like most male Elves, GhoulSpawn has feminine features and very long hair.
Most Elves have slick, straight hair. GhoulSpawn's hair is quite curly, and hangs below his shoulders.
GhoulSpawn's hair is a bright neon yellow because he is an Uruisg.
Being a Sun Elf, GhoulSpawn has green eyes, but being a Demon, when angry or frightened his eyes turn glowing yellow. His eyes glow in the dark light flashlights, but he can turn this effect off at will.
GhoulSpawn is an Uruisg (a male Glastig).
He has the legs and feet of a sheep. From his waist down he is covered in a soft, silky, curly tawny to ivory coloured wool, that closely resembles the wool of a Cotswold Sheep. The wool fur on his thighs to just below his knees is about 8 inches long, while the fur at his ankles is very smooth and close to the skin.
He has cloven hooves instead of feet, allowing him to run very fast over rocky surfaces. Like a mountain sheep or mountain goat, he is able to climb with ease up the sides of steep precarious mountain cliffs.
Because of his cloven hooves, when danger comes, GhoulSpawn is able to outrun and quickly escape most any opponent.
GhoulSpawn wears very long robes that drag on the ground completely hiding from view his legs and feet, so almost no one is aware of this feature.
GhoulSpawn has a speech impediment which lessens when he is relaxed and grows worse the more nervous or frightened he becomes.
Around calm laid back characters like Quaraun, GhoulSpawn speaks without difficulty. However around domineering, headstrong, or bullying characters such as Unicorn or HellBorne, GhoulSpawn develops a stutter, making it difficult for him the get to the end of a sentence.
Later in life, when he is very old, he is captured by Faeries who lock him in a barbaric insane asylum (White Rock), that takes sane people and tortures them into insanity. While at White Rock he is given a lobotomy which seriously affects his reasoning ability and thought process patterns. As a result of this brain damage, the elderly GhoulSpawn has difficulty communicating with people coherently. His sentences are jumbled together, as his brain can no longer process normal speech patterns. He tends to ramble in monologue, often talking to himself, other times talking to things or people no one else can see.
Reading.
Hanging out with Quaraun.
GhoulSpawn doesn't really do much. He tends to get lost in his books and spend hours on end without coming out of the book to interact with those around him.
Reading.
Dungeons and Dragons.
Portal magic.
Alchemy, involving turning wool into golden fleece.
GhoulSpawn is a Mormon.
Why?
Because at the time I created him back in 1978, I was a Mormon. He is one of the very first characters I ever created and all the original characters featured in the first volume of the Twighlight Manor series, were all Mormons.
GhoulSpawn is often seen handing out Book of Mormons to uninterested peoples of the 1400s.
There is a scene where he is questioned as to why he is a Mormon and he explains the history of the Demon Mormo and the fact that there are very few religions out there that are centered around a Demon prophet. (Keeping in mind GhoulSpawn is himself a Demon). The scene concludes with other characters pointing out that Mormon the angel and Mormo the Demon are two separate beings, but GhoulSpawn insists they are one and the same.
GhoulSpawn drives a 1974 AMC Gremlin, painted orange, with yellow flames down the sides.
He rarely drives the car, instead using it like a living room to read in. This is largely due to the fact that there are no gas stations in the 1400's and he is often without a way to put gas in the tank.
Even when back in the 1970s and 1980s, he rarely drives it as he does not have a driver's license.
GhoulSpawn the Crazed and Quaraun the Insane are best friends, as well as lovers.
Elves and Demons both have long life spans of around 500 to 750 years old, with a few living to be 1,000 years old. (Life span varies depending on race).
The age difference between GhoulSpawn and Quaraun is massive, with Quaraun being about 500 years older then GhoulSpawn, thus why Quaraun dies so long ago, while GhoulSpawn is still alive.
Quaraun is born around the year 983 and dies around the year 1733 (living about 750 years).
Unicorn is born around 600B.C. and died the same day as Quaraun in around 1733. Living around 2,500 years. (Faeries are the longest lived species, with a 2,000 year life span, being typical.)
GhoulSpawn was born around 1440 and is still alive in the stories set in 2525 at the end of the series, meaning he lives to be at least 1,095 years old.
They meet in around 1458, and in that story, GhoulSpawn is described as "still an Elfling, appearing to be a teenager of around 15 years old, but acting much older then he looked".

Quaraun
GhoulSpawn lives with two other wizards: The Illusionist Wizard King Gwallmaiic/BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, and The Di'Jinn Wizard Priest turned Necromancer Quaraun the Insane. All three of them have been victims of violent hate crimes against wizards. Each of the three of them is scared to live alone.
Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn each rely on the other two for everything. You will almost never see any one of these three wizards without the other two close by. If one is separated from the other two, all three become highly agitated and nervous, with the two who are still together, going on a terror driven panicked search for the one that has gone missing.
None of these three Wizards feels safe on his own and is deeply emotionally dependent on having the other two by his side. All three of them suffer from serious anxiety when separated from the other two. Each of them is fiercely protective of the other two.
While small villages on the outskirts of society tend to be welcoming of wizards, most large cities and upscale regions see wizards as little more then the scum of the Earth. As a result of this Wizards are rarely seen in areas with big populations. Wizards tend to sculk around in lower class, shady places - slums, ports, docks, seedy taverns, and places that are highly infested with pirates, criminals, thieves, whores, bootleggers, moonshiners, and other individuals out cast from upper class society. This is true of Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn as well.
Because of this most of the Quaraun series takes place in taverns and inns of ill repute, along the coast, usually in bars on sea ports. Pirates, drunks, drug dealers, prostitutes, and sailors are thus a daily part of GhoulSpawn's life as this is the society he lives with and is a part of. GhoulSpawn is himself often high on LSD, or in bed with prostitutes.
However, interestingly, though he sees nothing wrong with drugs or prostitutes, GhoulSpawn is a LDS Mormon and refuses to drink and can often be seen ciding Quaraun and Unicorn for their drinking habits.
Because of his religious beliefs, GhoulSpawn also refuses to drink coffee or tea, and does not swear.
GhoulSpawn frequently is handing out Book of Mormons to the uninterested people of the 1400s, while preaching that God is an alien living on Planet Kolob.

When a Demon is afraid, what is he afraid of?
Pink goldfish.
Most characters assume it is a drug induced hallucination, but GhoulSpawn is at one point attacked by a flock of flying goldfish with pink fins, who sailed out of the clouds and tried to eat him.
Quaraun claims to have witnessed the event, but as both Elves are drug addicts, no one ever quite believed them.
Had he started seeing the killer gold fish after the lobotomy, people would have thought this a symptom, however, he started seeing the killer fish as a teenager, after Quaraun attempted to resurrect a field of dead butterflies, which came back to life as flying zombie fish instead.
The fish are in fact really there, but only GhoulSpawn and Quaraun ever see them, the fish fly away whenever anyone else looks for them, leaving poor GhoulSpawn and Quaraun to be laughed at and teased.
Because of the fish, people begin to call him GhoulSpawn the Crazed.
Orange.
Other then his long green coat, all of GhoulSpawn's clothes are always neon dayglow orange.
His car is also orange.
GhoulSpawn is an animal rights activist.
In the 1980s when the anthrax scare was sweeping America, and the CDC was mass slaughtering millions of sheep and turkeys across the country (an event that actually happened and was responsible for crippling the farming industry in Maine and New Hampshire - here in Maine the government went to 3 of the largest turkey producers in the country, locked the birds in the barn, then burnt the barn to the ground, it caused a lot of protests with farmers against the government - I grew up on an egg farm so I knew some of the farmers whom had had their barns and livestock burnmed and it inspired me to use this event in my novels), GhoulSpawn took to rescuing said sheep and smuggling them back to the 1400s.
Before long GhoulSpawn had more sheep than he knew what to do with. He is rarely seen without his sheep. Usually he is trying to hide the sheep (because the police are looking for them) but it became a running gag in the series to have people who know of his sex addiction problem, see him hiding the sheep and then tease him, thinking he has sex with sheep.
In the current era (2017) the now elderly Gremlin owns a sheep farm in Maine.
Other than animal rights, he has no political views. He rarely knows what year he's in, due to his time travelling, and doesn't keep track the politics of the times and places he's in as he never stays in any one place long.
Neither Demons nor half-Elves are considered welcomed members of society, both being forced to live in small tribal groups on the outskirts of civilization. Both are often stoned to death or hung if they dare set foot in a city.
Half Elves, being denied work or stable places to live, often become wandering thieves out of the need for survival, sneaking into towns at night to steal food or basic items.
As is typical of half-Elves, GhoulSpawn became an expert pick-pocket at a very young age, and by the time he meets Quaraun has already made an art out of stealing pretty much anything he can fit into his coat pockets.
GhoulSpawn is a notorious pick pocket and master thief. He can walk up to anyone and clean out their pockets without them ever realizing he was there. He thinks nothing of sneaking into houses and taking anything he can fit in his pockets, keeping in mind he carries a 1974 AMC Gremlin in his pockets, along with a herd of sheep... meaning, there isn't anything that he can not fit in his pockets.
He uses magic to move silently, also using magic to cast "foggy haze" in people's minds causing them to have distorted vision for a few moments, allowing him to get past them unseen. He built himself a wand similar to Dr. Who's sonic screwdriver, which can zap open most any lock...being a geeky nerd of the 1970s, GhoulSpawn based both his wand and his coat off Dr. Who's sonic screwdriver and coat with pockets bigger on the inside.
If one needs to get past a lock, mundane or magical, GhoulSpawn is the one you want to ask for help, as he can make his way effortlessly through every lock he encounters.
GhoulSpawn, being a wizard, made himself a magical "time lord" coat, lined with dozens of pockets, each pocket being a bag of holding, capable of containing objects far bigger then they should. While he rarely drives it, he carries his car with him in his pocket every where he goes, and when needing to rest, takes it out to sit in. As he stole the car from the 1970s and lives in the 1400s, most people believe the car to be a glowing eyed monster and keep their distance from the Demon with his armoured beast.
He also keeps a large red armchair in his pocket, along with several hundred Dungeons and Dragons guidebooks, and a herd of sheep. When he finds an open field, he often lets the sheep run free, while he sits in the big chair and reads.
Bags of holding are very rare, with fewer then a dozen wizards world wide who know how to make them. It is their skill in making bags of holding, that marks both Quaraun and GhoulSpawn as being very advanced in the use of magic.
GhoulSpawn being both a Demon and a half-Elf is doubly mistreated by the majority of the world's population. He takes to travelling with Quaraun because Quaraun simply accepts GhoulSpawn as he is and is not bothered by being seen in the company of either a Demon or a half-Elf.
There are several instances when people try to bully GhoulSpawn and Quaraun (a high ranking full-blooded aristocratic High Elf) is quick to stand up for him, protecting and defending the half-Elf. Quaraun is often classified by other Elves as "insane" simply because he is willing to be friends with a half-Elf.
Like Quaraun, GhoulSpawn becomes Thullid infested (see Summoner of Darkness). The parasite slowly eats his brain and GhoulSpawn dies a horribly agonizing death, as the Thullid hollows out his body, steals his memories, and reanimates his empty dead husk of a body.
GhoulSpawn, upon his death, makes Quaraun promise not to kill the beast that killed him and instead treat it as though it was still him. Quaraun is torn with this, struggling knowing his dear friend is dead, and knowing that the creature living in his body is no really the young half-Elf who died so very young.
Knowing his presence is deeply distressing GhoulSpawn's friend, the Thullid changes his name to The Gremlin in order to differentiate between the Thullid and the dead half-Elf who's body he now lives in.
Over time however, the Thullid begins to forget he is not the half-Elf, as GhoulSpawn's memories continue to live on inside him.
Later in life, after he has begun to call himself The Gremlin, he has to struggle with the ban on Thullids.
All of the Thullids are gathered together and slaughtered.
Thullids being alien jelly fish that get into a person's brain, eat the brain, killing their host, then living inside the body, pretending to be the person they killed. Basically a pod-people sort of thing.
Humans from the future, go back to the past and gather up all the Thullids, then systematically murder them, by beheading them, removing the jellyfish, and then crushing it. This is how Quaraun dies, an event that GhoulSpawn witnessed and was traumatized by.
Gremlin himself is captured, along with Quaraun. While Quaraun is brutally murdered by the Thullid haters, they let Gremlin live, not realizing that he too is a Thullid, assuming him to have been nothing more then a Thrall to Quaraun.
After Quaraun's death, Gremlin begins to travel back in time and change events in Quaraun's life, trying to prevent the events which ultimately lead up to Quaraun's murder. Gremlin is the "shadowy figure" mentioned in several scenes of several novels (for example the scene in BoomFuzzy when Gibedon stabs BoomFuzzy and a "shadowy figure" appears and pulls Quaraun out of the room to prevent him from seeing what Gibedon did.)
However, when it is discovered he is doing this, Gremlin is taken prisoner, locked in White Rock Asylum For The Criminally Insane and given a lobotomy, which damages the Thullid living in his body.
After decades locked in a padded cell, he is finally released, but finds himself in 1974, now an old man, and without his ability to travel through time. This is the start of the Gremlin you know and love from The Twighlight Manor series.
Different from his race/ethnicity, is the prejudices because of his career.
In addition to being a master thief, he is also an extremely powerful wizard, with magic skills that rival Quaraun's.
While Wizardry was once seen as an Elite Class of Highly Respected Priests, by the time period of the Quaraun series (around the 1450s) Wizards have lost their social standing and are now seen as scum of the Earth no better then prostitutes, thieves, and charletons.
Main character, Quaraun, is typical of most Wizards in the Quaraun series. He was taken from his family by a Thullid priest at the age of 9. Born in Quebec, he was raised by the DiJinn in Persia, on the other side of the planet. As an adult he escaped his captors and made the long journey back home. He was not accepted back into Elf society and seen as a freak. The other Elves teased and bullied him. He is often beaten, raped, and several times publicly humiliated by being striped naked and hung upside down from a tree in the village center, where the villagers would gather to beat him with sticks and throw rocks at him. It was during one of these events, that one Elf took a knife and attempted to castrate him, resulting in the horrific scars and permanent damage done to his penis, which in turn results in his near inability to have sexual intercourse, resulting in him eventually preferring to be a bottom to other men, resulting in his 3 way relationship with his two male lovers Unicorn and GhoulSpawn.

Space Dock 13
aka
The Black Tower
For a wizard to be publicly beaten, humiliated, and castrated is not uncommon. Many wizards are eunuchs because of this.
Society's ill treatment of wizards, is the cause of many wizards believing in celibacy, most refusing to have sex, falsely claiming to be eunuchs to prevent themselves being castrated by angry mobs.
Because Wizards are often hunted down and killed by the law, it became common practice for Wizards to live in isolated regions - on top difficult to reach mountains, in isolated deserts, or on tiny islands in the ocean.
Most Wizards took to living in tall stone towers as a way to protect themselves from the mindless hate of simple-minded Humans, with nothing better to do then bully those different then themselves.
While the top floor of the these tall towers have windows, there are no windows on the lower levels, and the door into the tower is invisible to the naked eye, hidden by powerful spells to prevent anyone from gaining access.
It is not uncommon for a Wizard to disguise his tower as something else, such as a Lighthouse.
Many Wizards, especially those whom have been heavily abused by society, are fearful of having contact with other people, often to the point of agoraphobicly locking themselves in their towers and never setting foot outside again. GhoulSpawn is one such wizard.
If Quaraun never left Black Tower, neither would GhoulSpawn. GhoulSpawn only goes outside when Quaraun does and often only stays outside for a few minutes before running back into the tower.
It is not uncommon for a small group of wizards to band together, as other wizards are often the only friends a wizard has. Thus if one does see a wizard, it is likely you'll see more then one.
Quaraun himself, lives with two other wizards: The Illusionist Wizard King Gwallmaiic/BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, and The Chaos Wizard GhoulSpawn. All three of them have been victims of violent race crimes against wizards. Each of the three of them is scared to live alone. All three of them live together in Black Tower.
GhoulSpawn, for a brief period, before living with Quaraun, lived with another wizard, HellBorne the Evil.
GhoulSpawn, being a Demon, a half-Elf, a thief, and a wizard, never finds himself welcomed anywhere, thus why he is quick to find more powerful wizards to live with, as he does not feel safe otherwise.
Because they are themselves heavily persecuted, Wizards are often more accepting of minorities, and outcasts of society. Wizards tend to be sympathetic towards Faeries, Demons, half-Elves, thieves, prostitutes, coloured races, same sex couples, and transgender people. GhoulSpawn is no exception to this and is quick to show sympathy for most every person he meets.
Both Wizards and their towers are a rare thing to see. Only a handful of Wizards exist in the world. Probably fewer then 100 Wizards are alive at any given time period.
Quaraun in fact, when he is at home, lives in a haunted lighthouse known as The Black Tower.
Black Tower (also known as Space Dock # 13) is an interdimensional beacon, that exists in many places at once. There are at least 7 planets it is known to exist on simultaneously, and it also exists at all points of Earth's history.
Eel-Kat, leader of the Ptarmagin Kats, is seen on the cover of this book.
The Wizards did not build it. It was in fact built by the Ptarmagin Kets, a group of highly intelligent aliens, who resemble common domestic house cats, and have infiltrated planet Earth, by pretending to be house cats. There are 21 of these interdimensional beacons, each being a port, for the Kat's space ship which they park at the bottom of deep oceans, and then lock into place using a tractor bean from the beacon.
Known as "The Haunted Lighthouse" to Humans, and "Black Tower" to the Elves, it's true name is Space Dock #13, it being the 13th such interdimensional beacon built by the Ptarmagin Kats.
The Kats, wishing to keep a low profile while on Earth and knowing that most wizards are thought of as being insane, thus no one would believe a wizard if he said he saw a talking cat... the Kats thus often confide in Wizards and hire Wizards to keep notes of Human activity and report back to the Kats.
No one really knows why the Kats are on Earth and what they do with the notes Wizards give them, but Wizards, being lonely outcasts unable to find friends elsewhere, and desperately desiring to have someone to talk too, often are seen with these black alien cats riding on their shoulders or scampering along behind them, whom the Humans call "familiars".
GhoulSpawn makes friends with the Ptarmagin Kats, becoming the spy for EelKat and Lynxiana, working along side Spriggan and Bela.
GhoulSpawn, like Quaraun, and most Elves in general is a vegetarian. GhoulSpawn is a bit more extreme then Quaraun and is vegan.
Unlike Quaraun who loves candy, chocolates, and pastries, GhoulSpawn's diet leans towards whole foods, raw foods, mostly fresh fruits and vegetables and rarely anything else.
GhoulSpawn is very, very sexual. He is probably the most sexually active character of the series.
GhoulSpawn is frequently seen with many prostitutes, whom he is a frequent customer of. GhoulSpawn just likes sex a lot.
It is not uncommon for the 3 of them (Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn) to spend the night at whore houses, with only GhoulSpawn ever having sex with the women, and them all of them, the 3 wizards and the women, sleeping together. This is due to Quaraun being a pure blooded High Elf, and his species, normally have communal sleeping habits with a dozen or more people all in bed together. Elves are often noted for stating: "No one really notices who is cuddled up with who, just as long as every one is together, it's all good."
A joke among characters in the series, is to frequently ask GhoulSpawn about his wives, every time they come to a new town.
GhoulSpawn himself, frequently admits to having 4 or 5 wives in each town they enter.
He in fact is not married, however, his sex addiction problem, his enthral Elven beauty, and his Demon ability to seduce women, often lead him to affairs with married women.
GhoulSpawn has been known to say that he prefers bedding with married women as he does not have to worry about taking care of any resulting children, their husbands can do it instead.
The trio of wizards find it difficult to find a town where GhoulSpawn hasn't already been and been chased out of by angry husbands. It is not uncommon for them to reach a town, only to find a road around it, once GhoulSpawn remembers an angry husband in said town.
Because of his Demon blood, GhoulSpawn has a higher than normal rate of getting women pregnant. (See next question.) The trio of Wizards frequently encounter women who claim to either be pregnant with or have already had GhoulSpawn's children.
As GhoulSpawn is a penniless thief and Quaraun is an obscenely wealthy aristocrate, Quaraun often pays the women large sums of gold to just take their Demon/Elf/Human hybrid children elsewhere and leave GhoulSpawn alone.
GhoulSpawn is half Sun Elf and half Chaos Demon.
In the Quaraun series Chaos Demons are often referred to as "Cupid Demons". They are similar to Incubus Demons, but not at dangerous.
Most Demons are violent and dangerous, thus the general population of Earth is scared of the Demon species as a whole. Not all Demons are evil or bloodthirsty however. For the most part Chaos Demons are peaceful and do not seek to harm others, like the Incubus they are kin to though, they do however have huge sexual appetites that are nearly insatiable.
Chaos Demons give off strong pheromones which triggers a heightened sexual response from those around them, thus they rarely have to look far to find sex partners.
Some Chaos Demons, like GhoulSpawn, will simply go from town to town, doing nothing but seeking out whore houses, and buying and bedding several women each night.
Many, like GhoulSpawn, will roam the streets of a town, in twilight hours, looking for women walking alone on their way home. They will then find an excuse to cross paths with her, help her carry her bags, and within minutes, seduce her into some back alley, then rape her repeatily. Interestingly, because of the drug like, intoxication of the pheromones they give off, no women ever refuses these advances or accuses the Chaos Demon of rape.
Chaos Demons are extremely fertile. Nearly every sexual encounter with a Chaos Demon results in pregnancy. Half Demons, as a result are very common, though they are usually half Human, not half Elf. In nearly every town they visit, Quaraun and Unicorn run across a woman claiming GhoulSpawn is the father of one or more of her children.
GhoulSpawn, like most Chaos Demons, is rarely able to stay in any one town for more than a few weeks, as people quickly realize a Chaos Demon is among them and will gather together in an angry mob to attack the Demon, trying to kill it.
GhoulSpawn, being a half Demon, is not quite as addicted to sex as a full blooded Chaos Demon is. However it is difficult for GhoulSpawn to encounter someone and him not immediately start trying to seduce them into his bed.
While his preference is for Human women, GhoulSpawn is also in love with Quaraun and frequently is seducing the Elf, resulting in violent fits of jealousy from Unicorn.
Quaraun frequently bottoms for GhoulSpawn.
Later on in their relationship, GhoulSpawn and Unicorn together frequently double stuff Quaraun.
Later in the series, when Quaraun's third wife enters the relationship, Quaraun and GhoulSpawn are both frequently in her at once..
Social gatherings are not a part of GhoulSpawn's life.
In spite of his rampant sexual appetite, GhoulSpawn is not a social person. He's very shy and introverted and tends to keep to himself, spending most of his time reading books.
His being a Demon, and using his hypnotic pheromones to find sex partners, means he has no need to socialize with the women or get to know them, before convincing them to bed with him.
Otherwise he avoids contact with every one completely.
From the time he is about 15, until he is about 300, he spends most of his life living with Quaraun and Unicorn and having almost no contact with anyone else, outside of the random one night stands with prostitutes.
Though none is related to either of the others, Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn think of each other as family and share a deep emotional bond with each other. Each looks out for the other two, and each suffers from extreme separation anxiety when separated from the other two.
Quaraun and Unicorn both die the same day. They are both brutally murdered, an event that GhoulSpawn witnesses. Their deaths leave him extremely traumatized, devastated, deeply depressed, and unable to make any attempts at making new friends. After their deaths, GhoulSpawn goes off by himself more or less becoming a hermit. On is own, GhoulSpawn slowly slips into madness, becoming more insane then Quaraun was rumoured to be.
In his later years, after the lobotomy and several years straight jacketd in an isolation chamber of White Rock, his ability to tell reality from hallucinations becomes limited.
As Gremlin, he is frequently seen talking to himself, gibbering incoherent nonsense about pink penguins, often is having conversations with things no one else can see, and is diagnosed by White Rock's psychiatrists as having severe advanced schizophrenia.
He is a nervous wreck with lots of quirks, including twirling his hair, biting his nails, and cracking his fingers.
He has a tendency to jump up and run away at the slightest sound. He is extremely flighty. From childhood, he has a tendency towards extreme paranoia, which developes into schizophrenia as he grows older.
On the other hand, GhoulSpawn, with his timid, gentle ways, tends to be very kindhearted towards every one. He is quick to help any one in need.
Living in the 1400s plague (influenza) is a common killer and people fear to get near any one who has it. GhoulSpawn however, being from the 1970s and realizing what the Flue is and how to treat it, has no fear of plague victims and is often quick to come to the aid of any one with plague, and much to the amazement of the victim's family is often able to heal them.
Because he lived in the 1970s and has basic modern day knowledge of hygiene and first aid, he is often seen by people of the 1400s as being a healer.
He often has modern day items like Neosporin, aspirin, Tylenol, plastic band-aids, and first aid-kits in his coat pockets, which gets him branded as an alchemist or witch, by people who assume he made these things and thinks of of them as magic potions.
Though he has no medical training and is nothing close to being a doctor, medieval people often hail him as being a doctor, because their lacking of basic medical knowledge is so very poor.
When not being terrified by imaginary pink goldfish, GhoulSpawn's personality is very kind and giving. He is gentle with everyone, slow to pass judgments, and quick to forgive.
GhoulSpawn is the wizard who opened the portals and invented time travel via the portals.
This becomes a bit of a confusion however, as the series also states that his father used the portals to escape with GhoulSpawn's at the time pregnant with GhoulSpawn, 's mother.
Quaraun's teenaged lover GhoulSpawn is a "natural born" Sorcerer. He is a half-Elf/half Demon.
Because he is a Demon, GhoulSpawn was born with natural magical abilities, making him a rare "natural born wizard" or sorcerer.
GhoulSpawn is typical of a Sorcerer in the Quaraun series, in that he has Demon blood, was thus born with a Demon's natural ability to cast magic on some levels, has taking to self-teaching himself how to control the magic powers he was born with, is outcast from society because of his link to Demons, and is generally not well thought of, even though he is not in any way evil, and is in fact the only part of the cast who could be considered anything close to being a Hero.
Throughout the Quaraun series, you often see characters using the word Sorcerer has a sort of hate-slur or insult against all magic users in general.
Because of this, you see primary character, GhoulSpawn, often become nervous, shy, or embarrassed when people ask him what type of magic he does. He rarely calls himself a Sorcerer, instead using the term "Chaos Wizard", while Quaraun tends to refer to GhoulSpawn as "an Alchemist" and Unicorn just comes right out and says "he's a Demon".
All three of the mains characters (Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn) tend to skirt the issue when it comes to any conversation about Sorcerers. This is largely due to the fact that GhoulSpawn was at one point attacked by an angry mob of "anti-half-Elf" Pure Blooded High Elves who brutally tortured, raped, and beat him then left him for dead.
GhoulSpawn was left naked and dying in the street of a large Elf city. By standers did nothing to stop the mob, and afterwards he was left to lie there several days, bleeding to death while no one stopped to help him.
As there are no laws against being a half-Elf, and there were laws against beating someone on basis of race, their defense later became to accuse him of being a Sorcerer, as there are laws against Sorcery.
GhoulSpawn has PTSD as a result of this event. He never says how old he was when this happened to him, but as he is the youngest character in the series and described as being "the equivalent of a 15 year old Human" at the time he meet Quaraun, and described this attack as having "happened years ago", he was very young when it happened and the assumption is that he was about 10 years old at the time the mob (of adults) tried to kill him.
After this attack, with no clue where his father was, and his mother no dead and no longer able to protect him from the arrogant pure blooded High Elves, GhoulSpawn began using his natural born powers to open portals and try to retrace his steps to find his father. This resulted him him going back to 1974, finding the hippies and their drugs and their car. He lived with them til the 1980s, during that time becoming obsessed with the game Dungeons and Dragons.
GhoulSpawn would go on to combine the fictional spells of the Dungeons & Dragons game books, with his natural ability to cast magic, and taking LSD at the same time to enhance the spells, he became an "actual" D&D Sorcerer who really could cast the spells of his Player Character.
This however got him in trouble, as it drew the attention of the police, who then raided the hippie drug commune he was living in, resulting in him taking the drugs, the car, and the D&D spell books and escaping into a portal back to the past, where he meet up with and joined Quaraun and Unicorn. (All this happens in The City of The Screaming Statues, by the way, in case you are wondering what novel to find this in.)
His strange coat of many pockets.
GhoulSpawn wears a long green, velvet coat, that reaches to the floor and looks almost like a dress. Inside the coat, sewed to the linings, are dozens of pockets. Each pocket is in fact a bag of holding, and so GhoulSpawn is able to carry with him, everything he owns, including the 1974 AMC Gremlin and for some unknown reason a kitchen sink. He also keeps his herds of sheep in his pockets.
When asked how he is able to keep the sheep in his pockets, he explains that each pocket is in fact a portal, and the she are not in fact actually in his pocket, but rather are in a field that exist in the portal in his pocket.
Glinta is wearing it the first time Quaraun meets him and continues to wear it throughout the series.
However, Gremlin, does not wear it and when questioned what happened to he, he refuses to answer and changes the subject. The coat was taken from him the day Quaraun was murdered. It is unknown what became of it after that.
Being a Demon, GhoulSpawn frequently points out that he has no emotions and is incapable of feeling love, thus why he never marries and continues right into old age, to be always in the company of prostitutes.
However, there are many instances when his Elf side reveals that he does in fact have feelings, as he is often frightened by things, and over time becomes deeply emotionally attached to Quaraun.
It is not until after Quaraun's death, that GhoulSpawn begins to realize how much he loved the Elf.
The only prison ever featured in the series is White Rock Asylum For the Criminally Insane. It's a combination mental institute and prison, run by Faeries, for housing extremely dangerous non-Humans. While many criminals are there, there are also many inmates who are there simply because they "knew too much" and needed to be "put someplace" to keep them from talking.
The series spans a vast time period from 900s to 2525. White Rock shows up in the 1930s era and slowly gains more and more political control with each passing year. By the 1990s they have rounded up almost every non-Human and locked them up. Not hard to do as there are fewer then 10,000 non-Humans left in the world, by that period and most Humans no longer believe in the existence of Elves or Faeries, etc.
White Rock rounded up the non-Humans partly to protect the non-Humans from the Humans and partly to allow the Realm of Fae to remain hidden from Humans, by not allowing the 7 billion Humans to ever encounter a non-Human. This was due to in the 1980s, a pharmaceutical lab (Proctor & Gamble), gathered up a bunch of non-Humans to do tests on them. Most of the test subjects died in horrifically agonizing ways, specifically via the Draize Eye Test.
While the Fae who run White Rock had the right idea in mind (rescuing and protecting the non-Humans from the Humans), there were far too few workers to deal with the large amount of "inmates" and thus their methods were questionable at best, overcrowding a serious problem, and in many cases the Fae treated their captives far worse than they would have been treated by Humans.
White Rock is run by a Phooka, a type of Faerie not known for their sensitivity or compassion. While he (Harrier, who is King Gwallmaiic's grandson) is more compassionate and much kinder then the average Phooka, his ways are still harsh and brash. One of his doctors (Checka, formerly known as ZooLock) is lobotomy-happy, and if any inmate proves too feisty or tries to escape, the solution is simply to give them a hack and slash lobotomy that is often done incorrectly and does serious brain damage. Harrier is constantly at odds with this doctor as Harrier has a strict non-lobotomy policy and does not like to see his inmates harmed, as keeping them safe from Humans was his intended goal.
The fact remains, Harrier, though his intentions are good, simply does not have the manpower or resources to handle the mass amount of overcrowding. Guards fearing that too many inmates together, make a strong crowd, will frequently beat inmates without any real cause. Inmates being beaten to death by guards happens more often then Harrier would like to admit. Starvation is a problem for some sectors of the building, as there are not enough guards and what few guards there are, and not good with keeping records. Some sections get forgotten or the guards will assume another guard already did the rounds or an illiterate guard may accidently mark the wrong place off in his record book. Some cell blocks have been known to go without food for days on end, before it is noticed they were forgotten at meal time.
There may be a dozen or more people in each cell. Each cell being small and shouldn't have more then 4 people in it. Rarely do they have beds or blankets, often the concret floors are simply covered in hay. There may or may not be a bucket. None has a toilet or sink. Only a rare few have windows. The cells are made out of steal bars set in concrete and escape is near impossible.
Should one manage to escape, getting past the taser toting guards is difficult. If one gets out of the building, getting out of the yard alive in next to impossible. A massive double fence outlines the perimeter. Barbed wire at the top. The whole thing electric and controlled by an off planet space ship, that will incinerate you with lasers if you get over the fence. Inside the fence however, roaming the grounds, are fierce Hell Hounds that you'll have to get past.
The worst place to be in White Rock is in solitary confinement. Primary character GhoulSpawn/Gremlin found himself locked away in solitary confinement. This was due to his being a very highly skilled/powerful wizard. Wizards can not be just locked in a cell with the others, as many do not like wizards and the inmates will gang up on a kill the wizards. Some wizards, depending on their training can magically "pick" locks and walk out of prisons. Others know how to open portals, and can just leave without picking locks at all. GhoulSpawn is a wizard with both skills.
Because of his ability to bypass locks and open portals, GhoulSpawn was given a lobotomy to reduce his ability to control his magic, then had a special kind of shackle put on his arm, allowing the guards to have some level of control over him. The silver coloured metal band fits seamlessly around his wrist, and has a bar in it's center that goes through his wrist, piercing the bone. The band is made of silver plated Faerie Iron, a special metal that neutralizes magic making it difficult to impossible for the wizard to cast spells. The band is imbedded with a micro-chip homing device (GPS) that can locate the wearer no matter where they are, even if they go through a portal. The band also holds an electrical charge, which shocks the wearer, should they walk out of the assigned range of the band. After the band was put on/through his arm, he was next straightjacketed and put in a solitary confinement cell, where he would remain for several decades. The last thing he saw before being put in the padded cell, was his two best friends being viciously and brutally murdered by one of White Rock's guards. GhoulSpawn was deeply traumatized by this and was not allowed to grieve, before immediately finding himself with a Faerie Iron band piercing his wrist bone, and being locked in a cell. When he was found and released many, many years later, he was a gibbering mess, barely able to cohesively communicate with anyone. Over time he slowly recovered some of his reasoning ability. As record keeping is shoddy, no one was able to determine the exact year GhoulSpawn was locked in the cell, but it was estimated he was in solitary confinement at minimum of 70 years. After his release, he had a phobia of people in general and society as a whole. He was never able to go back into normal society and became a recluse.
The solitary confinement cells are very small. Little more then a closet, with only room to sit or stand and not big enough to stretch out or lay down. They have no windows. The only door is airlock sealed. The walls, floor, and ceiling are all padded and blindingly white. Inmates put in these, often go mad, from lack of anyone to talk to and having nothing but blank whiteness to look at. There is a slot at the bottom of the door, which food is slid into each day. The person inside never sees their guard. The rooms have the ability to gas the patient, knocking then unconscious, so the guards and bath them and clean up after them. (There are no toilets or buckets in these cells.) If the inmate shows signs of waking up before the guards are done, they are injected and unconscious again. Some long lived inmates have been in solitary confinement without ever seeing a person for more then a century. Solitary confinement is reserved for very dangerous criminals, or high risk of escape persons, such as wizards.
If you weren't already insane when you entered White Rock, you most certainly will be after a few years locked away in there, forgotten by the outside world. By the 2000s era, there are no known sane Elves in existence. All Elves by this point (even those freed or escaped) have been in White Rock at one point or another, for far too long.
The worst part about White Rock, is no one knows it is there. It exists behind a Faerie Glimmer spell and is invisible to the world. Someone who has been inside, can see it after leaving. Once in a great while, someone escapes or is released, and when they try to tell people what they've been through, no one believes them. When they try to take people to the location where White Rock is, all they see is a forest covered hill, with a large white rock/boulder on top of it. No building. No guards. No fence. No dogs. If you try to tell any one it is there, no one believes you and thinks you are crazy. This is why GhoulSpawn became a recluse after his release... at first he had tried to tell people, but no one believed him, because no one could see it. He could still see it, but no one who had never been inside could. He tried to tell people of the others trapped inside and in need of help, but, everyone just laughed at him. Human psychiatrists diagnosed him as having schizophrenia. Realising the Faerie glimmer spell would never allow Humans to see the building, and thus no one would ever believe what had happened to him, GhoulSpawn retreated into the forest and left society completely.
If you are wondering where the rest of the questions went (the original Squidoo article had 1,000 of them), I've only included here, the ones which I answered for this character. See other character profiles for other questions.
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.
Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.
For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:
American English to Scottish:
a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "
a long distance from = A piece fae
a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "
about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks
accomplishments = kunnandi
After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "
alive (living) = kvikr
Always on the move = Never aff o da go
am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"
are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"
autumn = dah haihst
belong to = fylgja
best = bettah moost
betray (verb) = svíkja
bewildered = villhyggjandi
building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "
built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."
cast a spell = hoodooed
cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"
child = bairn
church = kirk
color = colour
danger = hœttr
daren't = darena
daring = djarfr
dark = dökk
dark elf = Dökkálfr
dark-elves = Døkkálfar
darker = dökká
do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"
do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"
each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "
educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "
elf = Alfr
Elf = Álfr
Elf Home = Álfheimr
Elf World = Álfheimr
elf-advice = Ælfred
elf-beautiful = ælfscyne
elf-friend = Ælfwine
elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru
elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard
elf-powerful = Ælfric
everyday = ivvryday
eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"
fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."
feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."
further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."
green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."
handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "
have faith = trúa
Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis
Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.
have not = ain't
He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.
He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.
Head for = Mak wye for
head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak
head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie
horse fly = klegsie
I = Me
I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "
I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)
idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."
idiot = numpty
if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "
I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye
know = ken
looked = lokid
looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."
magic = hoodoo
naked = nøkkviðr
needle = bodkin
neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "
No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "
Nobody knew = not-knew nobody
Noontide = Da heicht o da day
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."
old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "
orange = o'jinn
out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."
outside = oot dair
people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "
people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."
poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "
Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "
shield = skjoldr
Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "
tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "
the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"
them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"
there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."
they = dey
To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."
understand = understonde
understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "
very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"
Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"
Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "
For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf
The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf
More information about our language can be found on this website: https://www.iheardee.com which is written in my native language.
However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.
My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.
It is a very great struggle.
At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.
Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.
I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.
Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.
Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.
If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.
However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.
My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.
While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.
As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.
I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.
Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.
As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.
have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.
I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.
I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".
It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"
The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.
The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.
While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
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Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....
... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.
While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since. |
The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground
On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.
She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.
The attack also triggered labour.
My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.
Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.
The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.
The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.
Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.
Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.
Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.
Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.
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The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.
Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.
Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.
Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.
In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.
Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.
But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.
I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.
Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.
Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.
I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.
My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.
Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
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There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.