Is it me or do these stories sometimes feel disjointed?
Quaraun FAQs



Is it me or do these stories sometimes feel disjointed?

Nope, you're right. The series was originally published in 1997 to 2012 as a bunch of short stories. Some with as few as 750 words, many around 2,000 words, some reaching 5,000 words, and a few as much as 7,000 words. Most of the stories were around 3,000 words long. About 130 of the stories went up on fanfic.net, though there were around 500 stories actually written.

Usually I would write a story each day or two and publish it (largely unedited) online with-in an hour of it's having been written. Often what you saw was me writing for an hour or two, then publishing it. In most cases, the end result was not “complete”. Usually they could not even be considered a full chapter, let alone a full story, often they were scenes and snippets. 

Also, as Quaraun was a player character I played in Dungeons and Dragons game sessions, I kept notes of all the games, and wrote additional stories(which are being published for the first time in this series) based off those game sessions.

If you are reading this book, you likely found it via something somehow related to DnD and know what a game session is like, but for those who are unfamiliar with it:  Each player announces what their character is going to do, then rolls the dice to find out how well they succeeded. On the other side of the game table is the Dungeon Master with a chart.

The DM looks at the dice roll, looks up the number on his chart and announced: “Here's what happened.” Our game group was run by a DM who loved his charts and had lots of them. Each character ended up having their own specially made charts. Quaraun's character had a chart designed to make sure his spells failed epically.

Because everything that happened in a Dungeons and Dragons game is determined by the roll of the dice, you never know what it going to happen next and anything can and does happen, especially if using the SpellJammer setting. This results in a lot of absolutly random stories that were created literally on the roll of the dice. And these stories are found translated into the Quaraun books as well.

The books you are reading now, are made by taking all of those many hundreds of stories, scenes, chapters, snippets, and game session notes and compiling them together, while adding even more stories, scenes, chapters, snippets, and game session notes in between them to bridge the gaps and string them all together.

What this means is that unlike a traditional novel, these stories were NOT written as a single novel beginning to end, indeed, some parts of a story were written 10, 15, or 20 years prior to other parts of it. Yes, that also means some sections of this book were written when I was just 14 years old, while others were not written until I was in my 30s, meaning you'll notice a difference because of that as well.

Could I have smoothed them out and made them flow one segment to the next better? Yes, but I didn't. Why? Well, as the title states, Quaraun is insane. His mind is seriously warped and broken. He's struggling to fit in and he knows he can't. He's struggling to hold on to reality, but he knows he fast losing touch with it. He thinks he's knows what is going on around him, but he can't be sure and it frightens him. 

Quaraun's perception of life is disjointed, fragmented, and at times missing glaring bits of information. He blacks out sections of time and can not remember how he got from point A to point B. You'll see him talking to his friends in one scene and then the very next scene, on the other side of town doing something else with someone else, and no scene in between to explain how or why this happened. It is because you the reader are seeing the world EXACTLY as Quaraun sees it and he's missing time. He does not know why suddenly he's in a tavern in the next town when the last thing he remembered, he was in a battlefield. Because Quaraun does not know, neither does the reader. 

Quaraun has a medical condition, known as Catalepsy. He passes out frequently and goes into trance-like states. Many scenes begin or end with Quaraun either just waking up from a cataleptic trance or just passing out and going into one.  In most cases, the story stops when Quaraun passes out and picks up the next time he has full conscious awareness of what is going on around him. 

Only if something that the reader actually needs to know, happens while Quaraun is unconscious, does the scene continue forward, now in another character's perspective (usually Unicorn's). If there is nothing of plot importance happening while Quaraun is passed out, then the story simply jumps ahead to the next point something does happen.

Because the stories are told mostly from Quaraun's (very questionable) point of view, I did not even out the gaps completely, leaving them disjointed in many places, because the reader is seeing the world through Quaraun's eyes and if you read the much older Twighlight Manor series from the 1970s/1980s, you know Quaraun is a patient of White Rock Asylum of the Criminally Insane (known as Sunta aka the boy in the attic, in the TM Series because no one knew his real name) and much of what you are seeing in the Quaraun series is him retelling his version of the truth, which may or may not be what actually happened to him. 

The Quaraun series picks up where the TM series ends. At the end, Emperor Blue of Planet Chrystonia, the current Grand High Emperor of the Triple Planets, makes a startling discovery while inspecting the Asylum one day. At the heart of the hospital is a section that was boarded up centuries ago. It was believed no one was in it, and for several hundred years, no one went down there. During the inspection, screams were heard from beyond the boarded up wall, and one cell was found to not be empty. A strange boy with long Elf-like ears, every inch of them full of gold rings, is discovered. The boy speaks a language no one knows and refuses to learn their language.

The Emperor (who has no children to heir his throne) takes the boy with him, adopting him. It is at first assumed the boy somehow got into the asylum and got trapped, but as the years go by, he never ages, and after 30 years, he still looks like a 15 year old boy, causing the Emperor to investigate not the boy, but rather the section of White Rock where he was found.

To the Emperor's horror he learns that that section of White Rock had been sealed off centuries ago, the same year Emperor Swanzen, the first Grand High Emperor went missing. He goes to Sir Roderic of the Twighlight Manor seeking the ancient Scrolls of Ongadada, taking the boy with him. There at the Twighlight Manor Roderic recognizes the boy as his grandfather, the builder of The Twighlight Manor, long believed to have died shortly after the Battle of Ogadada. (Yes, the spelling changes depending on who is talking about it). 

Terror seizes the Chrystonite king when he realizes he has unlocked the ancient prison that has been created by the Phookas to contain the greatest evil the galaxy ever knew.   And no one can explain how the boy survived being locked in that cell for 400 years without food or water. Blue contacts the Kat family of Planet Ptarmagin, hiring EelKat (yes the very same character -a black cat- I life act online via social networks) Spriggan, Bela, and Lynxiana to investigate. (All 84 of the talking cats from the Twighlight Manor series do appear in the Quaraun series as well, btw.

Many of the TM series characters appear in the Quaraun books.). They tell him the story of Liches, Necromancers, undead beasts, and monstrous brain sucking Jellyfish beasts that live in the oceans of Planet Diona and the reason why Gremlin sealed off the portals and made travel between planets, time, and dimensions a thing of the past. While the Kats' story is mentioned in passing and hinted too, the TM series never goes into any details beyound what was just said, leaving the reader to wonder – what happened?

With all the inhabited planets of 3 solar systems in mortal terror of the day when the Lich would wake up and being reunited with it's Master, Emperor Blue knows he must never let anyone know what he has done, and yet, Emperor Blue has trouble seeing this harmless, very frightened apparently ageless boy as anything even remotely matching any of the horrific stories history has passed down of the terrible King of the Burning Planet, who's name was erased from history to prevent anyone calling him back into existence. The most evil tyrant in history, turned out to be an immortal boy who did nothing but sit on the floor and gibber nonsense that no one could translate.

Not knowing his real name and fearing that his people would slaughter the seemingly harmless boy should they find out who he really was, Blue renames the boy Sunta (which means King of the Burning Sun) and sets out to find out what happened to the Liches and the infamous undead fire breathing horse the evil king was rumoured to travel with. The Twighlight Manor Series simply ends at that point, never giving any farther explanation of the ageless boy or his undead horse.

The Quaraun series picks up at that point...

In the year 2525, Quaraun is an ancient Elf, well over a thousand years old, the last pure blooded Elf, and has spent the last 400 years of his life straight jacketed in solitary confinement in White Rock, after having been tortured in White Rock's dungeon for several hundred years prior. Emperor Blue seeking to unlock the truth behind the bloodiest battle of The Great Chrystonite War, tries to get the Elf to talk, and when he finally does talk

 the stories in the Quaraun series are the stories he tells.

And so, yes, the stories are often disjointed and seem unconnected, jumping here and there and back again. This is intended, because you are essentially sitting in the shoes of the listeners who are in a room listening to a mental patient trying to tell you how he came to be locked away in that cell for so many centuries.


Would you call your books good?


>>>Would you call your books good?


Good?

Good is subjective.

Also, it depends on what standard you use to classify good as.

And than it would further depend on which series, which book within which series, and  what you are comparing each to.

The Quaraun books? 

No.

The Quaraun books, deliberately go against everything normally seen as "good". The grammar and spelling in the Quaraun books is atrocious, and it's written that way on purpose. I write in very good, near perfect grammar, in most of my 1st drafts, and that's good for most series, but, for the Quaraun series, I have to go in and ADD THE SPELLING MINSTAKES AND GRAMMAR ERRORS.

Yeah.

I ADD THEM.

A common question readers have with the Quaraun books is: "Is this supposed to be like this?" And yeah, every time you encounter a thing that seems "off" or "wonky", it is style choice. For example, in Night of the Screaming Unicorn, you see very early in that BoomFuzzy addresses Quaraun, by name, and about 20 or so pages later, Quaraun is hiding the fact that he's a wizard because he doesn't want BoomFuzzy to find out who he is, and yet, it's clear BoomFuzzy already does know who he is, because he's already called him "Quaraun". 

A couple of readers pointed that out and, saying that it felt like a writing error, a consistency error, felt like the author (me) had forgotten BoomFuzzy already knew who Quaraun was, so why is Quaraun trying to hide it? Well, if you pay attention to the story, you ARE told that Quaraun is very old, he's elderly, he's having a hard time getting around. 

Try to remember: Quaraun is elderly, nearing the end of his life, and BoomFuzzy is already dead. BoomFuzzy is a ghost. BoomFuzzy had two lovers: Quaraun and Gibedon. And Quaraun murdered Gibedon and a few days later BoomFuzzy commit suicide. And it's now 300 years later, and Quaraun is planning to kill himself, and BoomFuzzy's ghost shows up to try to stop him.

The story tells you that most Elves live around 300 to 400 years and Quaraun is nearing 700, maybe 800, he doesn't know how old he is, he can't remember. He can't remember what year it is. He can't remember when he was born. That's the point. Quaraun has some server old age memory lose issues, maybe dementia, possibly Alzheimer's, what it is exactly isn't important. What's important is that Quaraun is struggling to remember: ANYTHING.

And BoomFuzzy sees this, and he knows, Quaraun can't remember something he said, barely 5 minutes ago. Which is WHY you see BoomFuzzy, constantly repeating himself, constantly talking about the same events over and over again.

Quaraun is seen by most people in his world as insane, a raving lunatic, just plain crazy. No one takes him seriously because of how he talks, how he acts, how he dresses. And than there's BoomFuzzy who has been avoiding Quaraun for centuries. He's mad at Quaraun. Quaraun murdered BoomFuzzy's lover Gibedon and BoomFuzzy can't forgive Quaraun for that, so he refuses to talk to Quaraun for 300 years.

Night of the Screaming Unicorn is the first time they meet up again after 300 years away from each other. And BoomFuzzy, recognizes that something's wrong with Quaraun, something's seriously wrong. Quaraun is confused, stumbling around, gibbering madness. Quaraun doesn't recognize BoomFuzzy, and than Quaraun does recognize BoomFuzzy, but then 5 minutes later, BoomFuzzy is a stranger to him again and Quaraun doesn't know who BoomFuzzy is all over again.

BoomFuzzy was in love with Quaraun, when Quaraun was young and healthy, but that was years ago, and Quaraun's changed. Now Quaraun's old, and alone, and in very poor health, he can barely function - physically or mentally, he's in desperate need of someone to take care of him, but he has no one. No friends, no family, and society is so scared of him, that he can get help no where.

This is an elderly man in need of constant medical attention, and he's wandering around homeless, and no one cares. BoomFuzzy sees this, he sees this person that he used to love, wandering around homeless and alone, in desperate need of medical attention, half starved to death, and not mentally capable of remembering one minute to the next, let alone having the mental compacity to take care of himself.

It breaks BoomFuzzy's heart to see Quaraun like this, because it is so far vastly different from how Quaraun had been in his youth. BoomFuzzy had thought Quaraun had moved on, and he's now seeing that Quaraun didn't. Guilt over what he did (murdering BoomFuzzy's lover, Gibedon) absolutely shattered Quaraun's mind, he's spent his life isolated and alone, reliving the day of BoomFuzzy's suicide in his mind. 

Quaraun is nearing the end of his life, and his advanced old age had lead to serious memory issues, where he can remember things that happened in his childhood, but he can't remember what his did even an hour ago. If fact Quaraun acts like he just murdered Gibedon and BoomFuzzy just killed himself. Quaraun's mind is stuck in the day BoomFuzzy died. He can't moved passed it. He can't see that 300 years have gone by and he hasn't moved on. And THAT is why you see the story written the way it is.

And I remember when people first pointed that out and I explained this memory issue is what is going on (which, IS explained IN THE NOVEL, so I shouldn't have to explain it anyways) people pointed out: "OMG! Wait... is Quaraun an old man? I imagined him like being a teenager. I thought he was like a young adult. Ain't he like only 15 or 21 or..."

No.

Quaraun is an old man. So isn't BoomFuzzy. Uhm... yeah. Do you know what the following words mean?

   *   old - 123

   *   elderly - 6

   *   ancient - 27

Also here's some more words for you to look up the meanings of:

   *   forgetful - 2

   *   forgot - 18

   *   remember - 81

 As usual with these kinds of comments, I use Night of the Screaming Unicorn to judge by, as most of these comments come from people whom have read the ebook edition of that novel, AND because this is volume 1 of the series and is the novel MOST people have read if they've read the Quaraun books, and is the novel which introduces both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy.

   *   The Night of the Screaming Unicorn describes Quaraun as being "old" 123 times.

   *   The Night of the Screaming Unicorn describes Quaraun as being "elderly" 6 times.

   *   The Night of the Screaming Unicorn describes Quaraun as being "ancient" 27 times.

  *   The Night of the Screaming Unicorn describes Quaraun as being "forgetful" 2 times.

   *  The Night of the Screaming Unicorn says Quaraun "forgot" something 18 times.

   *  The Night of the Screaming Unicorn says Quaraun could not "remember" something 81 times.

Uhm... again... yeah. You ARE told what is going on. It's NOT hidden. I'm not one of those writers who likes to weave hidden meanings and messages. I tell you outright, Quaraun is old, elderly, ancient, nearing the end of his life, has outlived all other Elves, has lost his ability to remember things, is very forgetful, can't remember things that happened moments ago... you just ignored what I wrote, and imagined things as you wanted them to be instead reading them as they actually were.

With the lone except of the flashback novel 'BoomFuzzy', Quaraun is literally described -in every single novel- as: "the Elf was somewhere around 750 years old, the equivalate of a 90 year old Human"

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are both elderly men who used to love each other when they were young but, a really horrible event broke them up and they haven't seen each other, in 300 years, BoomFuzzy has already died and is a ghost, while Quaraun is dying from old age, and he knows it. He's suffering. His health is falling apart. His memory is almost no-existent any more. He knows he won't live much longer and he just wants to see BoomFuzzy before he dies.

And yet, readers, are shocked when, they are talking to me on Twitch livestreams and hear me say Quaraun is elderly. They reply to say they thought he was a young kid, a 15 year old boy, a high schooler, a young adult around 21.

How?

How do you read the Quaraun novels and think Quaraun is young?

How is that even possible?

Others have pointed out BoomFuzzy speaks really bad, but all of a sudden, sometimes, he suddenly can speak fine. They ask, "Why did you edit some of his dialogue to be good and other lines to be practically illiterate." Again, pay attention to WHEN BoomFuzzy's ability to speak coherently changes. It changes when he's angry. No longer thinking clearly. Starts yelling. All of a sudden, yeah he can speak fine. He's no longer tripping over his words. Yeah, BoomFuzzy can speak fine when he WANTS too and when he forgets to to speak in broken grammar - like when he's angry. 

But why? Again - pay attention to the story. Quaraun doesn't recognize BoomFuzzy as BoomFuzzy if BoomFuzzy starts speaking clearly. When Quaraun was a teen, he meet BoomFuzzy, and BoomFuzzy didn't know Quaraun's language. They had a huge communication barrier. BoomFuzzy struggled badly to learn to speak with Quaraun. The language was hard to learn. And BoomFuzzy still struggled with it, at the time he and Quaraun broke up. But now it's 300 years later and BoomFuzzy knows Quaraun's language well and can speak it clearly, but Quaraun's dementia issues, cause him to only remember who BoomFuzzy is IS BoomFuzzy speaks broken grammar. 

So, BoomFuzzy deliberately goes out of his way to speak messed up broken sentences, because that's easier than trying to find a cure for Quaraun's failing memory.

So the bad grammar, the spelling errors, that's all deliberate, and adding into the story during editing, AFTER the novel was written.

The novels are written from Quaraun perspective, so even the narration is broken, and shifts back and forth in a muddled mess.

It's written that way, so that the reader IS just as confused as Quaraun is. Keeping the reader confused as to what is going on, IS the intention.

You got to remember that I write what I personally enjoy reading, and as a reader, I enjoy books that draw you into the mental and emotional psychology of the main character. I WANT to see the world the main character sees it. I WANT to experience what the main character is experiencing.

And if the main character is confused and struggling to gain their bearings in their world, I as a reader WANT to be confused and struggling in that world as well. I enjoy reading books that make me experience the emotion the character feels. And in the Quaraun series, Quaraun is mentally lost, confused, uncertain of what's going on around him. 

Does it make the series difficult to read? Yes. Yes it does. If you try to speed read through the Quaraun books, you ARE going to struggle with understanding what's going on. But that's the goal. Quaraun has Alzheimer's and he's struggling to get a grasp on anything. He's confused. He sees things and completely misses them. If the Quaraun books leave you confused, than they've done exactly what they were supposed to do.

I have other series' that I write, under different pennames (no, I'll not tell you what the series are or what my other pennames are - I keep them separate.) and those I take way more serious. I mean, I also write Disney and Harlequin, so, yeah, clearly I take some of my work VERY seriously and strive for extreme perfection.

But stuff like the Quaraun series, no. I know the style of how the Quaraun books are written is very niche and not typical of mainstream writing. It doesn't even fall neatly into any single genre. It's not going to appeal to many readers. I don't try to make it "good" in any sense of publishing industry standards of "good". I make it be what it needs to be. I suppose the Quaraun books would fall into what others might call "an art piece"? I don't know. I don't try to make it be "art" either. For my other works, my other pennames, you see me strive for what the industry calls "good", but for the Quaraun series, it's just me writing passionately about the thing I have a passion to write.



FAQs: How do you come up with your Character names? They all sound so strange.

Because it fits the genre and world I write, I use the same method like was used in in classic literature Utopia, Hinds Feet on High Places, Paradise Lost, and Pilgrim's Progress, where the character's have "descriptive" names that alert the reader to "who" they are.

For example in Hinds Feet on High Places (by Hannah Hurnard), the story is about a girl named Much Afraid traveling with her best friends Sorrow and Suffering to escape her father Fearing who is trying to force her to marry her cousin Craven Fear, to search the world for a guy named Joy that she thinks can help her find someone else named Humility. The author based the whole story around emotions, so all the characters had names that reflected their dominate emotion.

My own novels are similar to that when it comes to naming characters. The series is heavily influenced by 2edAD&D especially it's SpellJammer (aka Elves In Spaaaace!) and RavenLoft expansion packs. 

Well if you ever played DnD's old 2ed versions, you know that everyone was named after their attributes or skills.

For example a half-Elf who is half-Demon ends up named something like GhoulSpawn, a tower dwelling dark mage could end up being named something like HellBorne, and a guy who wears a bat suit is called BatDude while his sidekick is named Pigeon Poop Boy, if you need a taxi service to travel between planets you want a pirate Gnome named Captain Quirk and his flying pirate ship The Rent-a-Prize, the Mind flayer thief turned priest is named ZooLock because he's good at picking locks, while the two most evil villains of all are a g-string wearing strip dancing Elf named The Jiggler, and a candy making Unicorn Lich named BoomFuzzy, and they all worship a microscopic goddess named The Scared Pink JellyFish, who is the most powerful being in the universe but can only be seen under a microscope, she also crawled up the nostril of an Elf, burrowed into his brain and now controls his body, and he's the only character with a remotely normal sounding name: Quaraun, which came from the 2edAD&D Elves splat book red cover edition, he was previously called SunTa' or Tajid in early stories before being given an official name (Tajid was the name of a real person I knew in real life who was murdered August 21, 1991 and I changed the character's name in the novel to Quaraun a year later, because I had trouble writing a character who was the same name as a person whom I knew in real life, after the real person was murdered. It's WHY all the old editions published before 1991 were puled out of print.).

I also said all of that in one sentence.

1994 cover art for a special SpellJammer issue of Dungeon magazine. The painting was titled: "A SpellJammer Dentist At Work."

The 2edAD&D SpellJammer naming system, got to love it.

Now, if it was just one or two characters named this way and everyone else had "normal" sounding names, than it would just be making one or two characters seem "special". But the thing is, in Quaraun's universe EVERYONE is named this way. Main characters, secondary characters, minor characters, background characters, crowd characters, good, evil, bad, grey, beautiful, ugly, heroes, villains, merchants. Everyone. So it fits within the context on the world, because these types of names ARE the "normal" for this society.

I would not advice using this mish-mash of common words to create descriptive names, as a way of naming characters unless you do it for your entire cast. I've seen authors do it JUST for the main characters and than everyone else in the novels will have "normal" sounding real names (Peter, Paul, Mary, etc.) and it really makes the main characters stick out like a sore thumb and just feel very out of place, like they don't belong in the novel's setting.

When you name your characters, make sure the names match the setting they live in. For example, the Quaraun's world, it's not just the characters named this way: buildings, rivers, towns, business's, etc. are named this same way as well. Thus you see places like: Black Tower, The Screaming Unicorn Inn, White Rock Asylum For The Criminally Insane, The Mind Controlling Pissed Off Pumpkin Patch, The Forest of No Return, Fire Mountain, Pink Porpoise Pond, etc. Some of them are overly simple such as The Guild being as the name implies a guild and The Fuzzy Wuzzy Fluffy Bunnies being well angora rabbits.

I should probably point out I'm a SpellJammer Dungeon Master and have been for 40+ years, so, (it was released in 1973, 5 years BEFORE Dungeons and Dragons was, under the name Metamorphosis Alpha, and was brought into the DnD franchise in 1991 now renamed SpellJammer). I use the SpellJammer d20 dice roll chart naming system for all my novel characters same way I do in the game. All the names of my characters are literally whatever a dice roll on the SpellJammer character naming chart rolled out.

Obviously this method won't work for every genre, but for Psychedelic Bizarro High Fantasy about the Highest LSD addicted cannibal High Elves flying across the Universe massacring humans from their rainbow powered pirate ships, it works great.

The series contains a novel that also was the first novel to be awarded the World's Best Gay Romance of the Year award and broke down barriers preventing authors from publishing Gay Romance, and was the novel that caused Amazon to create a Gay Romance category, just for that one novel, and was Amazon's #1 top selling Gay Romance novel for years in a row, selling 10,000 copies within it's first hour of publication.

So people (other authors, not readers) who laugh at my characters' names (and there have been many) and say I should give them more serious real sounding names, and tell me to take my writing and my career more seriously (like they do), while telling me to be politically correct, stop using tropes, and saying I should hire a sensitivity editor (again like they do), should pay attention to the fact that readers are fed up with seriousness, historical accuracy, political correctness, sensitive snowflake syndrome, and really do just want authors to write things that are fun to read for sake of being fun to read, without worrying about stepping on toes. 

And the Quaraun series has stepped on a lot of toes, including making the gay couple be one white transvestite who HATES being called a SHE when he's a HE in a dress and one black serial killing gangster with the N-word everywhere (oh yes - it's there A LOT), and includes scenes of them killing sensitivity beta readers at publishing houses and literally driving WW2 German army tanks over SJW protestors.


Critics slaughtered it for being ANTI-SJW, mocking PC sensitive snowflakeism, and readers loved it and it wins awards for it's in your face give no shits style.

As an LGBTQAI+ Person of Colour myself, I HATE it when STRAIGHT WHITE people think they knows what's best for us and the recent BLM riots, I mean protests have been nothing but an utter mockery of even more white people thinking they can control us coloured folk. It's why I DO NOT support the BLM movement. It's nothing but white people telling us non-whites what to do as usual.

And, no, I'm not joking one bit, those really ARE the names of my characters, how I named them, the things they do in the novels, and I still won those snooty patooty awards and pissed off all the authors of more serious work who didn't come close to either my sales or the awards my books won.

The lesson here? Stop worrying about what other people might think, and write whatever the fuck you want. There's a market for everything, and it just might surprise you to learn the market is getting pretty fed up with political correctness getting in the way of just writing a fun novel.



UPDATED TO ANSWER READER QUESTION:
How come you don't like the BLM movement?
Isn't it for people like you? Doesn't it help you?

UPDATED TO ANSWER READER QUESTION: How come you don't like the BLM movement? Isn't it for people like you? Doesn't it help you?

No.

It doesn't help us.

The BLM movement doesn't help us Gypsies.

The BLM movement doesn't help Jews.

The BLM movement doesn't help Native Americans.

And guess what? For all the Black people running around sayin they are the lowest rung, the smallest minority... FUCK THAT! They are lying to you!

There are more Black people in New York City, than there are Gypsies, Jews, and Native Americans combined on the entire planet.

There are more Black people in ONE FUCKING TOWN, than there are Gypsies, Jews, and Native Americans combined ON THE ENTIRE PLANET!

They ain't the lowest rung in discrimination and you're an idiot if you believe they are.

They ain't the smallest minority and you're a fucking jackass too damned retarded to look up facts for yourself if you believe they are.

And guess what else, BLACK PEOPLE beat up, harass, and murder more of us Gypsies than White people do!

Muslims who are also not White, have killed more people in my family than anyone else, because we have Jewish blood, even though there hasn't been a Jew in our family for 5,000 years.

But then there's the White people, who think we Gypsies are Muslim because of how we look and dress and kill us because killing Muslims is what White people do and kill first ask questions later... my family has lived in Maine since 1530, yet since 2001 White people call us foreigners and tell us to go back home. We are home. We are Kickapoo Native Americans, it's you White jackasses who invaded America not us. We've ALWAYS been here.

Black. Muslim. They ain't no different than White people. They are brutal racists just like them. 

Black. White. You're both fucking racists. Get over it and learn to get along.

Black people are no different than White people and we who are neither, watch the both of you fighting and live in mortal terror of BOTH the BLACK PEOPLE & THE WHITE BECAUSE, because we know from experience, that no matter how much you Blacks and you Whites hate EACH OTHER, BOTH BLACKS & WHITES hate us Gypsies more than you hate each other.

And you want to know what's even worse? My grandmother Eva Viola Atwater, was half Kickapoo Native American and half BLACK. I'm 1/4 Black in case you didn't know, and in my lifetime I've been beaten up by just as many racist ass Black people as I have racist ass White people.

Why?

Black people beat me up for the SAME REASON White people beat me up, just reversed.

In the minds of White people, my Black blood makes me TOO BLACK to be accepted as a part of White society.

In the minds of Black people, my pale, could pass for white, skin makes me TOO WHITE to be accepted as a part of Black society.

And while all you people parade around hypocritically chanting Black Lives Matter when you don't actually mean it, my family was murdered by fucking 14 White police officers of Old Orchard Beach, Scarborough, and Saco, Maine on April 10, 2015.

And not a one of you chanting Black Lives Matter cared, because we LOOK too White to for OUR lives to matter. 

Well guess what, White cops kill us too, no matter how pale our skin is, and the fact that you don't care that White police officers murdered 10 of my 12 children in a single day, the fact that you do not care, because we don't look DARK ENOUGH for our mixed blood faces to matter to you, just PROVES how big of hypocrites you BLM movement people REALLY are!

Every one of those 14 murderous bastards is STILL an active duty cop, right now in 2021, and not one of them got so much as a scolding for COMMITTING MURDER, cutting my kids' heads off and nailing them to the door!

That is the kind of police officers we have in Old Orchard Beach, Saco, and Scarborough, Maine. There has NEVER been justice for my family, those murdering police officers walk free and are STILL officers in Old Orchard Beach, Saco, and Scarborough, Maine RIGHT NOW - in June 2021... 6 years after murdering my family and NO ONE GIVES A FUCK!

Black. White. You're BOTH hypocrites.

What happened to my family, and how you people fucking responded to it, that tells me that the Black Lives Matter movement is nothing but a sham. Black people don't want to REALLY help minorities who are being killed by White cops... they'd care about what happened to my family April 10, 2015, if they did.

But Black people don't care when NON-BLACK MINORITIES are murdered by White cops.

There's the reality of your fucking BLM movement!


Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.

The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.

Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.

These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.

Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.

Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.

Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.

The Quaraun Series 

Meet The Characters:

Quaraun's World:

Characters:

Culture:

Magic:

The World:

The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane:  First draft/sample chapters from the  novels.

NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.

  • More sample chapters can be found here: (note, while these chapters are linked in chronological order, they are not continuing one to the next, they are chapters spanning from Volume 1 all the way to volume 119, of a series that has 130 novels/volumes.)

  • Pink Links are pages on this site. Green links go to the pages found on my DeviantArt account.

  • Chapter 1: King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish (Chapter 1 of the entire series)
  • BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  • The Dying Elf, Gibedon's Head, and King Gwallmaiic's Elf Eating Mansion
  • Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole
  • An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  • I Loved My Children, But I Loved BoomFuzzy More
  • Doe'Uan and The Lonely Elf
  • Finding Finderu 
  • Kelim Meets Quaraun The Insane
  • Pocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders Findaru
  • Captured By The Lich Lord 
  • An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit
  • The Lich's True Form Revealed 
  • Bullgaar the Vulgar 
  • The Enchanted Map
  • Waiter, There's a Head In My Soup
  • The Orcs and The Necromancer 
  • The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)
  • The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)
  • The Beginning of the End
  • The Witch Massimara Of Mount Yenka
  • Psychotic Dead Things
  • Six Days Earlier
  • There is no Mournful Lamb Inn
  • The Swamp of Death
  • The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  • Introducing GhoulSpawn
  • The Demon Cultists & The Coming of The Darkness
  • EelKat and The Kats of Planet Ptarmagin
  • The Moon Elves of Ivujivik
  • The Return of ZooLock The Great
  • The Gremlin's Warning
  • A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond
  • The Road To Witch Pond (Part 2)
  • The Road To Witch Pond (Part 3)
  • Santa's Dead Floating Body
  • Worms!
  • GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  • The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  • A Fourth Letter To Home - The Masochistic Elf With Stockholm Syndrome
  • GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  • The Strange Village or I Love The Smell Of Decomposing Bodies In The Morning
  • The Golden Rooster
  • Meeting Mallac
  • Serial Killer At Large
  • The Summoner of Darkness
  • Corsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries.
  • Visiting The Scene of Murder #1 With An UnGelded Stallion
  • I Never Wanted To Be a Wizard
  • Sheep Again
  • Back At The Tavern and Still No Shrimp
  • A Tavern Scene Part 3 - Quaraun, Unicorn, GhoulSpawn, - Time Travel, Chastity Cages, and Whores
  • Tumbling Down Stairs With Slutty Elves and Angry Liches
  • Where Are You Hiding That Horse?
  • The Hostess Twinkie Aisle of Biddeford WalMart
  • Quaraun Meets HellBorne The Evil
  • The Map of the Town
  • Quaraun Meets BatDude & Pigeon Poop Boy
  • Pepperell Square, Saco, Maine, In The Year 2525
  • No Goldfish, Today?
  • Chocolate Covered Elves 
  • Evil Elves 
  • How To Kill A Lich
  • The Lover's Triangle 
  • At Gremlin's House / Kill The Baby
  • I Am Not GhoulSpawn
  • Sheep
  • Santa's Letter to Satan 
  • Going North To Head South
  • Alone
  • In Black Tower
  • You've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman
  • "Sold! To Zebulon, for two million dollars."
  • The Last of The Moon Elves
  • FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been 

  • Answering Reader Question About The Quaraun Series:

    Behind the Scenes:
    A Look At How I Write The Quaraun Series...

    The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house. 

    The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following:

    • suicide
    • drug use
    • cutting
    • depression
    • polygamy
    • BDSM
    • sex fetishes
    • CBT (cock and ball torture) 
    • sounding
    • knoting
    • barbed penises and toothed vaginas 
    • monsters eating Humans
    • blood thirsty Faeries
    • Elves eating Elves
    • Faeries eating Elves
    • squid headed aliens eating brains out of still alive victims
    • medieval torture
    • schizophrenia
    • stockholm syndrome
    • sadism
    • masochism
    • rape
    • incest
    • dub-con
    • necromancy
    • necrophillia
    • ritual murder
    • flaying (skinning a person alive)
    • child sacrifice
    • cannibalism
    • bloodletting
    • vampirism (the mental illness, not the mythical creature)
    • crude language (including an excessive use of the words fuck, cock, dick, testicals, balls, scrotum, and penis) 
    • interracial relationships
    • M/m/m relationships
    • gay men
    • bisexual men
    • transvestite men
    • men who have sex with unicorns(horses)
    • tentacle porn sex with squid headed aliens
    • shape-shifter sex
    • ménage à trois relationships
    • double dicked men
    • tripple dicked penitration gay sex scenes
    • bananas, pickles, candy canes, unicorn horns, and glass wizard wands used as dildos
    • main character Quaraun is a man with 4 wives (one of whom is also his sister, another of whom is also his daughter)  
    • Quaraun has 2 male lovers
    • Quaraun has 4 children by his sister
    • Quaraun has 3 children by his daughter
    • Quaraun has 1 child that is the result of him raping a woman
    • Quaraun has 37 children by prostitutes
    • the primary secondary character, Unicorn, is a chemist "candy maker" and detailed instruction of how he makes his drugs, including recipes to do so are included in the novels

    The Quaraun series has been banned by the following:

    The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church 

    (1991) (Reason: too much sex)

    (Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014)


    The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine 

    (2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan)


    New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine 

    (2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)

    (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014)


    Fan-Fiction.net 

    (2012) (Reason: Too violent)


    Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine 

    (2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)

    (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint)


    Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government 

    (January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574) 

    (Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters  depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents)

    27 volumes of the Quaraun novels were forced to be unpublished/removed from Amazon by the government issued court order that cited these books as "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach"

    NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".)


    Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban.


    Sample Chapters of Many of the Novels Are Available To Read Online:

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 24: The Dread Chant of the Fan Boys

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 23: The Return To Fire Mountain

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 31: The Crystal Palace of Mt. Demontooth

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive

    Volume 00: 000000

    106: The Haunted Lighthouse

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 108: Friends Are Forever

    (Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series)

    Volume 119: My Two Favorite People


    Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.

    Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn,  Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.

    With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].

    Reader discretion is advised.

    Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?


    Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.

    April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing. 

    October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html

    If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.











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