| The Park Bench Method of Writing Rapid Release Fiction Without Burning Out | Writing Advice | Writing Tips and Tricks | Writers on Writing | Writing Life | Cozy Fantasy Writing | Slice of Life Writing | 30 Days of Writing | Ideas For Writing Cozy Fantasy | Short Story Writing | Daily Writing | Writing Pulp Fiction | Writing 30 Short Stories In 30 Days | Write 30 Novel Chapters In 30 Days | Write a Novel in 30 Days | How I Write My Dark Fantasy Serial Fiction | 

1. EelKat Wendy C Allen: Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author & Art Car Designer
2. Just Write!
3. Write something! Just do it!! Right now! Writing something! You can do it! You know you want to! I believe in you!
4. Only one thing is writing...WRITING! So just start writing, right now, today.
5. What (self-publishing) platform pays the most (for books)? My top 3 picks. Comparing my results from different places.The Park Bench Method of Writing Rapid Release Fiction without Burning Out

What (self-publishing) platform pays the most (for books)?
My top 3 picks.
Comparing my results from different places.

| The Park Bench Method of Writing Rapid Release Fiction without Burning Out, by Wendy Christine Allen |

What (self-publishing) platform pays the most (for books)?My top 3 picks. Comparing my results from different places.

Answering this Reddit question today:

I publish in a ton of places and most places are between 50% to 70%, but most places also have a range. Meaning one platform pays 50% for a book in one format while the same platform pays 70% or a different one.

For example:

Amazon pays 35% for some ebooks and 70% for other ebooks, but 35% for some paperbacks and 60% for other paperbacks.

The % changes depending on where the author lives (US vs Japan) and there are fees/charges/deductions based on where the author lives vs where the buyer lives (an author in Maine for example has federal taxes, state taxes, and entertainment taxes deducted, and if the buyer in in UK, the author has VAT deductions as well, even though the UK buyer ALSO pays VAT–this is why in a state like Maine, 70% royalty off a $2.99 book = only .60c NOT $2 like YouTube “gurus” say).

I live in Maine. Most of my readers live in Japan, Germany, and Brazil.

I have a $4.99 ebook that sold a million copies… even with 70% royalty on that $4.99 book, I earned only twelve thousand dollars even though the YouTube gurus and the 20to50k scammers would try to tell you I should have earned over three million dollars. They will also tell you it should have at least a few tens of thousands of reviews, given it sold a million copies - it has three.

Books that have more then ten or twelve reviews, especially books that have 500+ reviews of 5stars, are FAKE reviews that the AUTHOR BOUGHT from scam sites BookSprout or BookSirens — places that SELL FAKE REVIEWS, to authors.

500 reviews on a book under a year old is a HUGE RED FLAG - as many fake review copies offer "500 review packages", stating they will take a year to trickle the reviews in a mix of most 5 and 4 stars with enough 1, 2, and 3 stars to "make it look real". 

In most cases these books will reach 500 reviews LONG before they sell even ten copies.

The fake review scam is MASSIVE on Amazon, and it's best to ignore ALL 5 star reviews that do not include photos of the reader holding the paperback copy of the book.

Yes. We have reached that stage in book publishing, where readers have starts posting photos of themselves holding the book, JUST to prove they are a REAL reader writing a REAL review. Most reviews on Amazon are written by AI bots these days and, you should never trust a book that has large amounts of reviews.

REAL READERS almost NEVER leave a review and REAL readers usually leave 3 star or less reviews.

The rate at which REAL readers leave reviews is fewer then 1 reviews per every ten thousand copies sold.

Over 99% of ALL 4 and 5 star reviews on Amazon are FAKE and were paid for by the author, who will make excuses for buying reviews by calling them ARC (advanced reader copies), however, REAL advanced reader copies are ALWAYS PRINTED PAPERBACK BOOKS that are SNAIL MAILED VIA POST OFFICE to ACTUAL READERS. Those reader DO NOT GET PAID, the AUTHOR DOES NOT PAT A SERVICE, and NO REVIEWS ARE ECXHANGED. Advanced reader copies are NEVER given in exchange for reviews and no money ever changes hands for ACRs.

The review is FAKE IF:

• The author paid a service
• The reader paid a service
• The reader was paid money
• The reader joined a group to get free books in exchange for writing reviews
• If the ARC was a digital copy
• If the ARC was an ebook 

Everyone talks about the royalties.

No one ever talks about the taxes, delivery fees, download fees, etc.

And if your book is illustrated, Amazon ads a per image download fee AND it is 4x higher for colour as for black & white images, and it increases by size of image.

If your $2.99 ebook is image heavy, a 70% royalty could earn you as little as only TEN CENTS per sale… no anything even close to the $2 per sale gurus claim we earn on 70% of a $2.99 book.

I’m on tons of places, to there are tons of percentages.

The 3 highest are as follows:

• GumRoad pays 90% royalties.
• DriveThruRPG pays 85% royalties.
• Amazon pays 70% royalties.
• All the other places are 65% or less.

These are the places I use:

• Hardcovers: Amazon and Lulu

• Paperbacks: Amazon, Lulu, and DriveThruRPG

• Ebooks: Amazon, Lulu, DriveThruRPG, GumRoad, and Patreon

• Read online digital: my website, RoyalRoad, ScribbleHub, Tapas, GumRoad, OnlyFans, Patreon, Medium, Vocal, Notd, FictionPress, Tumblr, and SubStack.

• 1 sheet cardstock TTRPG d100 charts: DriveThruRPG

• Card decks: DriveThruRPG and GameCrafter

• Character art merch: Zazzle and CafePress

• Board Games: GameCrafter

There are several other places, but the rest bring in under $100 a year so are not worth mentioning.

Genre/format: Dark Fantasy novels, novellas, novelettes, poems, and short stories. As well as TTRPG game guides/charts/card decks.

Amazon is by far the biggest money maker and where most of my sales come from, but also, more than 80% of my sales are for paperback books.

I focus predominantly on paperback sales via Amazon, simply because that is where the most sales and income are.

GumRoad however is my favourite platform, because I like the dashboard interface better, and I like that they don’t lie about 90% royalty. You actually make 90% off the cover price of your book.

Whereas Amazon SAYS 70% royalty on a $2.99 book… which would be $2 earned… HOWEVER… 70% royalty on a $2.99 book is ACTUALLY only .61c earned, because it is NOT 70% off the $2.99 cover price. It’s 70% off WHAT IS LEFT after Amazon deducts delivery fees, processing fees, size of digital file fees (which includes a per image fee and a 4x higher per colour image fee — -fees are higher if the readers uses a Kindle device vs uses an app on their phone), federal tax, state tax, VAT fees, entertainment taxes, and any other additional taxes, … which is why I sold over a million books on Amazon but only earned twelve thousand dollars, in spite of the book being 70% royalty on a $4.99 cover price!

Funny thing is Amazon, being a public company (meaning sells stock shares) is required by the IRS to release quarterly tax records, which are all linked to the ToS Help pages of KDP and list each writer's real name and home address, then all the pennames they use, then all the irs tax receipt earning totals for that person. And any one can access that list.

Since 2007 Amazon KDP has had exactly three authors earn one million total earnings: 1 Amanda Howking, 2 Jon Locke, 3 Hugh Howey. That's it. One. Two. Three.

The report also states that since 2007 Amazon KDP has had fewer then one thousand writers whom have earned $120k lifetime earnings. Which calls Bellshill on EVERYONE who preaches the 20to50k scam (which claims if you publish 20 books you'll earn $50k monthly from KDP).

The report also states only seven thousand authors since 2007, have ever sold a million copies of their books. I'm on that list. You can look it up and see my exact sales and earnings. And you want to know how much 70% royalty on a $4.99 that sold a million copies earned me? Twelve thousand dollars. Because Amazon's 70% royalty is NOT off the cover price, it's off what is left after the download fees, processing fees, vat, federal taxes, states taxes, entertainment taxes, and other fees Amazon slaps on. The average authors makes around twenty cents on each 70% royalty of a $2.99 book, not even close to the $2 per sale scammers claim they earn.

You know what else is on that list? The fact that since 2007, there are also twenty million authors on Amazon KDP who have yet to reach earning even one hundred dollars in lifetime earnings and many of then have a dozen or more books published.

So sick of scammers bragging KDP earns them millions when it is so damned easy to verify exactly how much every author on KDP makes. The 6 figure scammers of KDP are among the easiest 6 figure scammers of all the prove are scammers, and yet people still fall for them anyway.

Don’t believe anyone who tells you 70% royalty on a $2.99 book on Amazon = $2 earnings, because that just proves they are a scam artist who never actually sold a book on Amazon and doesn’t actually know how Amazon calculates royalties.

GumRoad on the other hand says they pay you 90% royalty, and it ACTUALLY IS 90% of the cover price, not 90% off what is left after dozens of deductions.

That’s why even though Amazon is a bigger income for me, I prefer GumRoad as a platform best.

Vocal is near identical to Medium.

Notd is very similar.

Substack is a place to write IF you have followers you can take there with you. SubStack has no system in place for people their to find you, and being newsletters, every thing you write on SubStack does not go to search engines like Google or Bing.

Beehiiv is like Medium and SubStack combined.

GumRoad, DriveThruRPG, WattPad, ScribbleHub, FictionPress, DeviantArt, RoyalRoad, and Tapas are all good as well.

OnlyFans, Patreon, and KoFi are all like SubStack ... no internal audience, you must bring your own followers.

I do NOT recommend SubStack, OnlyFans, Patreon, or KoFi to anyone with fewer then 10k die hard readers (not followers, but actual readers), because all 4 of them have no internal system for people onsite to find you. All 4 rely fully on you bringing your already established fans with you.

The problem with SubStack is there is no system in place to gain internal readers. And SubStack has bot blockers coded in which prevent search engines (Google, Bing, Yahoo, ect) from indexing pages, so nothing you write on SubStack brings in outside traffic either. SubStack is fully dependent upon the writer bringing their own readers with them.

In other words, established writers who already have 50k followers on Medium, can go to SubStack and enough of their followers will go with them that they can earn an income.

But new writers looking to get started, need to build a following FIRST outside of SubStack, because they are literally shouting into a void if they write on SubStack but did not bring readers with them, due to the way SubStack is set up.

All the big writers leaving Medium and finding success on SubStack are giving new writers false hope, because the big writers are not telling the truth about how they earn the money.

SubStack is a newsletter. It requires you to already have an email list before you get started. You will not gain followers via SubStack the way you gain followers via Medium.

If you are looking for a place like Medium, the alternative is Vocal or Notd but both had much more difficult to earn money on then Medium.

I use all of the above as well as Amazon KDP.

Amazon, Medium, and GumRoad are best money makers, but all the ones I’ve listed have the ability to write and publish short stories and poems, though each has different methods of uploading stories.

Anyways, hope that helps.

UPDATED TO ADD: Someone wanted to know if I published poetry and if so if I could do another page like this one but for poetry. I'm going to add a poetry update to the end of this one.

On the topic of poetry specifically, my advice is DIFFERENT from for short stories, novellas, and novels.

I’m adding this update because I was asked if the above advice applied to poetry as well, or just to short stories, novellas, and novels.

Yes… the above advice was ONLY considering short stories, novellas, and novels.

Here is the advice I have in the same regards, but this time for poetry specifically:

For poems I say this:

Focus on Medium for poems. Medium is where you will make the most money from poetry.

Focus on Amazon KDP secondary for poems.

Vocal, Notd, SubStack, and OnyFans are so-so for poems, but worth putting poems on them.

Pretty much every place else is not worth putting poems on.

I write and publish poetry, and this comes from my personal experience and so others may have different experiences.

• 1: Poetry, is VERY DIFFUCLT to sell.

It sells, IF you happen to market it in just the right places, at just the right time, while just the right people are there to find it. aka it takes a LOT of marketing RESEARCH (researching the market is more important then the marketing itself — the more research you do, the less marketing you require, but researching markets is NOT easy) and a shit ton load of luck.

• 2: I publish poetry on over a dozen different places, and the place where I get both the most reads and the highest pay for my poetry is the website Medium (dot) com.

For example, in November 2024, I published 3 poems every day on Medium, got around 1.2k reads on them, and was paid $60…. it can take 6 months or more to make that same amount from poetry on all other platforms combined.

• 2a: If poetry is you main focus, I highly recommend you start out by building a fan base, via publishing a poem daily on Medium. Don’t bother with Amazon KDP or any other place yet.

Then after you have 100 to 300 poems on Medium (depending on word counts of each poem), compile them into a collection, and sell the print paperback and hardcover editions on Amazon KDP. But NO ebook version, because you’ll make more leaving them on Medium for digital readers.

• 2b: Once you have print collections for sale on Amazon KDP, go back to each of you Medium pages and edit it to add a link that says something like “This poem is one of the 100 poems you will find in my paperback poetry collection: BOOK TITLLE by Author Name, available for just $$$price of your book”

That is what I do, and I seem to have a higher sales rate of my poetry collections, then many other writers on Amazon KDP, due to the fact of Medium has a large (tens of thousands) base of poets and a HUGE reader base (over 100million) for poetry. I have built a following over over a thousand readers on Medium for my poetry, and they also buy the collections on Amazon KDP.

Additional info:

For my poem collections I use 8x11 (so BIG book) format, with 1" margins all around, and the layout is: illustration on one page, poem on the page across from it.

I write “story poems” in a series about a single character and his family, where each poem is a different day in their lives. So readers tend to become fans of the main character of someone in his family, and end up buying all the books in the series, because they want to find out what else he’s done in his life.

So, based on that, I would also say having character driven series based story poems is more likely to get sales then just random free verse with no characters will.

The more character driven and story based poems are, the better they sell.

Poems that are free verse or are characterless embodiments of emotion, are the single most difficult type of writing to sell, and if you write this type, you’ll want a HUGE fan base of loyal dedicated readers BEFORE it’ll be (monetarily) worth the effort of publishing a collection on Amazon.

On the other hand, if money is not your goal, you can put it up on Amazon any time, just know chances of selling even a single copy are slim.

Anyways, hope that helps you out.

| ©2025 Wendy Christine Allen | All Rights Reserved |

Want to see The Park Bench Method of Writing Rapid Release Fiction without Burning Out, in action? Each of the stories linked below, used it:

• The Bandits and the Pink Necromancer

• BoomFuzzy

• BoomFuzzy's Chowder Dilemma

• Comet Fall Snow Day Blitz

• Feed the Fucking Pigeons

• If your ass ain’t freezing or your brains ain’t scrambled, you’re ain’t really trying

• Morning Sickness at The Shattered Stein (TW: MPreg Yaoi)

• The Moth Garden

• The Night of The Screaming Unicorn

• Readers vs Readers, What Really Makes a Reader, a Reader?

• The Screaming Contest

Writing Prompts I Use When Writing this series:

• 🍄 30 Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts 🍵 - June 2025 - A 30 Day Writing Challenge For Lovers of Warm Fuzzy Slice of Life Tales

• 30 Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts, Queer Throuples/Polycules Slice of Life Edition

• 30 "TRUE COZY" Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts

• 🫖 30 More Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts - June 2005

This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

All Rights Reserved.

1. EelKat Wendy C Allen: Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author & Art Car Designer
2. Just Write!
3. Write something! Just do it!! Right now! Writing something! You can do it! You know you want to! I believe in you!
4. Only one thing is writing...WRITING! So just start writing, right now, today.
5. What (self-publishing) platform pays the most (for books)? My top 3 picks. Comparing my results from different places.The Park Bench Method of Writing Rapid Release Fiction without Burning Out

While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.

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I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |

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| The Park Bench Method of Writing Rapid Release Fiction Without Burning Out | Writing Advice | Writing Tips and Tricks | Writers on Writing | Writing Life | Cozy Fantasy Writing | Slice of Life Writing | 30 Days of Writing | Ideas For Writing Cozy Fantasy | Short Story Writing | Daily Writing | Writing Pulp Fiction | Writing 30 Short Stories In 30 Days | Write 30 Novel Chapters In 30 Days | Write a Novel in 30 Days | How I Write My Dark Fantasy Serial Fiction | 

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Comparing my results from different places. and Knowing what to include when describing the surroundings of a scene also Validation Is a Cult and Open Strong, Stay Loud and  Where are the writers who love writing? plus Self-Publishing Success: Does Anyone Ever Succeed at Self-Publishing? and Where To Get Writing Ideas? and Writing What You Know Might Not Be What You Think It Is and Why I do not attend writing groups...are they all like this or just the ones in Maine? but also Don't Forget To Just Write  because Yes, You Can! Plus The Park Bench Method of Writing (with 10k writing prompt list) or The Park Bench Method of Writing (just the article) plus: How did you build your audience? Not online, that's for sure. aka How to sell ten million books aka How I sold ten million books. Need Writing Prompts? For Anyone Looking for: The "haunted car" people call The GoldenEagle & my response to Stephen King's illegally filming my family and farm in his movies? My response to MUFON's Amphibious Aliens? My response to Coast to Coast AMs Arrival in my yard? Back to the Home Page

Looking for my annual NaNoWriMo Prompts and Dares? I've been publishing these every year since 2004! Here's,for my 26th year, a shit ton load of daily writing prompts and writing dares to use for National Novel Writing Month, 2025 edition! The Park Bench Method of Writing The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: Paperpacks & Hardcover Editions on Amazon: Not sure what the series is about?  Check out  The Quaraun Series Prologue and Faeries vs Elves (In The Quaraun Series) A Pink Necromancer World Lore Post and Worldbuilding MoonQuakes and Disabled Characters for Fantasy Writers and How well do I know Quaraun? - Let's find out! to find out more about the plot and lore of the series. Not sure which story to start with? These here are good places to start, to get a good introduction to the three main characters: Absinthe Slushies: An Ode to Frozen Green Fairy Wine Bone Dice BoomFuzzy's Chowder Dilemma The Cellar's Forgotten Treasure Chaos in The Lighthouse - Shattered Panes, Shattered Minds The Cliff-Side Temple Control or Protection? A Dark and Stormy Night Drying Herbs Excited For The New Baby Five Ways To Save Money in Las Vegas The Golden Dragon Keys Herons in the Dunes If your ass ain’t freezing or your brains ain’t scrambled, you’re ain’t really trying Kiss Me Fuckin' Arse - Just Another Day in the Ice-Laced Ruins of The GodForsaken City Lens and Light Maintenance Macaroni and Cheese: A Creamy Pasta Dish Drenched in Melted Cheese, Often Topped with Breadcrumbs- It's Never That Easy A Map Worth More Than Gold The Morning After a Night of Teaching Wizards To Gather Magic With Cards Necromancer of the Parched Sands in the Desert of Diona Necromancy-A Day in the Life of a Bumbling Necromancer-Again Nightmare Nook Paddlewheel Maintenance The Phooka's Dragon School The Red Hakama Springtime by the River Spirit-Walk Slippers Sticky Rice, Bare Fingers, and Slippery Chopsticks The Sweet and Sour of Lemons The Terror Bird 3 Perspectives on an Apple The Valuable Mystery of the Talking Saloon Door and How We Nearly Got Shot Over Stale Tacos Vendetta over Vittles A Very Important Clump of Grass Wagers and Wiles in the Godforsaken City The Washer Woman & The Fae Weather Forecasting Stones You Never Know What Info You Might Pick Up in the Afterlife aka Quaraun's Near Death Experience (A NDE Fiction) Or if after reading those, you still are looking for more free to read stories, there are over three thousand of them on this site, too many to list here, but here a few dozen to get you started... ...you can just jump in and try reading some of the free to read online stories first before committing to buying the books: Abyssal Addlepated: Stupid and Confused All the roads are gone Alone Ancient Coin Hoard Unearthed Angry Ocean Waves at Sunset The Arrival The Art of Destroying a Human Village for Fun and Profit At the High Priest's Altar Back At The Tavern and Still No Shrimp The Bandits and the Pink Necromancer The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death The Beacon Room at the Top of the Black Tower Lighthouse The Beauty of a Silk Moth Hatching The Beginning of the End Bellicose: Warlike! Aggressive! Hostile! Beneath a crimson sky, the silk weaver wove pink silk. Beneath Malevolent Stars The Black Sock, Again Blizzard The Boat Fiasco The Book Burning Maggots, a You Can't Spell Hatred Without Red Hats BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House from Hell The Brownies & The Witch, or Why Faeries Don’t Wear Socks The Bumbling Pursuit of The Pink Necromancer Candied Nightmares The Candle Con in Ember Hollow The Candy Corn Unicorn Captured By The Lich Lord The Cast Iron Frying Pan Cattail Pollen Spaghetti with Wild "Oregano" A Chilly Light Drizzle Becomes Snowfall on the Shore Chocolate Bliss Chocolate in the Neon Shadows Christmas in 40th Century Dystopia Christmas With The Krampus Family The City of Death Clam Digging in the Rain The Clock Ticks Away Clotheslines, Games, and the Village Code Ghosts Comet Fall Snow Day Blitz Conundrum in the Bazaar Corsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries Crabapples in the Rain Cranberry Muffins The Crooked Dice The Crows Are Restless Crullers and Curses at Midnight The Curse of the Liquid Gold The Cursed Mirror Dangerous Tides {A Pink Necromancer Drabble Dozen, featuring Etiole} Dark Damp Basement A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest Deadly Shores of Noodle Beach The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness The Demonic Music Box Desolate Nostalgia on a Frozen Shoreline The Diamond Forest in the Bio Dome The Disbelief of Humans Discovering A Floating Castle Dismal Day at the Street Market The Doors' Dark Secret - A Wedding In A Zombie Apocalypse Dreams of Purple Pearls The Drunk Moon Elf Echoes of the Glass Forest Echoes of the Unseen An Eclipse in the Faerie Glen An Eclipse Looms Tonight An Eerie Discovery Eerie Symbols in the Snow The Egg That Was Not an Egg The Elf With Crippled Hands Ember Enable The Enchanted Map Encountering ghostly apparitions in the swamp Evil Eggplants Stalking Outside Evil McEvil of The Twirly Moustache Existential Crisis Perspectives - 3 Perspectives on an Existential Crisis Exploring the Swamp's Forgotten River A Fall in the River A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond 15 Drabbles About Being Transgender The First Flicker of Dawn Fishing in the Rain Five Ways To Save Money in Las Vegas Fizzy and Frigid A Flapdoodle Wizard’s Duel Fleeced for Fizz Fog & Peach Melba Toast After Last Night's Rain Footprints In The Sand Forest Kings and Their Antler Crowns The Fragrant Smoke of Flavoured Herbs Freshly Baked Sugar Cookies The Frilly Nest of Panic A Garden of Pink Chrysanthemums Get your hands off my dress! GhoulSpawn & The Cultists GhoulSpawn Said The Moon Don’t Laugh GhoulSpawn's Toasted Marshmallow Magic A Glass of Fresh Milk Gloom Blob of Doom: The Dreadful Dripping of the Doom Blob of Gloom Glumpish, Grumpy, Sullen, Gloomy Golden Field, Pink Glories The Golden Mask The Graveyard That Ate the Living The Great UnSeelie Court Swindlers He Always Comes Back Heirloom Tomatoes Help! He's trying to feed me! The Herd Approaches The Howl on Silent Moor How to Create a Literary Empire with Just Your Bum Poems How To Kill a Lich How to Hijack a Human Supply Train Without Getting Shot How to Overthrow an Entire Settlement Without So Much as Lifting a Finger I Need To Feel Safe Ignoramus — An Utterly Ignorant Crowd of Humans IkuTursu's Cursed Depths of the Swamp Where Pine Boughs Whisper Incandescent Shadows Over Driftwood Bay The Infected Survivor Inner Fortitude Insidious Love Invigorating Cool Air Iron Hooves and Burning Roads, Krampus on Wheels The Ivory Tower of Greed The Jar of Pickled Toes Jibber Jabber Ramblings by the Fire The Jolly Red Lich King Journey Through the Zombie-Infested Swamp on the Blue Monkey Judgement An Ode To The Lunatics Preaching The Rapture of September'25 Kelim and The Necromancer: Finding Finderu Kelim Meets Quaraun The Insane Lanterns Over the Faerie Glen Leaving Your Bed Messy Isn't Exactly the Apocalypse The Leprechaun of The Deep North A Lich's Lament For a Mortal Lover Growing Old A Lich's Reflections On Escaping The Swamp of Death The Lich's True Form Revealed The Lighthouse’s Glass-Eyed Horror The Lighthouse Keeper The Lighthouse That Leapt, Space Dock 13's First Jump Through Space The Long Road The Loot Tree Lord of the Hive Lost In The Forest of No Return-Trying To Find Directions The Lost Library and The Snowglobe The Lotus' Silent Prayer on the Sandy Shoreline Lover's Triangle Make tea and go for a rainy forest walk Maple Cotton Candy Served as a Topping on Vanilla Ice Cream A Market Day Disaster Market Day Weekend - Three Days In The Life of The Pink Necromancer Marsh Serenity Reflection Mayonnaise Meeting Mallac Melt, Ya Safe With Me The MerMan's Wrath Milkweed Meadow Mint, Madness, and Motor Parts The Mischief of the Purple Unicorn Misplaced Utensils and the Cascade of Confusion Monsters & Mayhem: How Black Tower Became Pink (8+ Parts) The Moon and The Drowned The Moon Goddess Laughs From The Rooftops The Moon That Hungers The Moon and The Mirror Morning Sickness at The Shattered Stein (TW: MPreg Yaoi) A Mysterious Door No Goldfish, Today? No Place for Birth The Noodle of Power Not Little Red Riding Hood Obsessive Love-Dangerous Love An Ode to My Shattered Sanity Ominous One River In Three Perspectives Open Grave An Ordinary Day A Path of Twisted Trees A Peaceful Night on the Tundra The Peaceful Shores of Noodle Beach Phantom Tides Pickling Perfection Pickles, Panic, & Permafrost The Picnic Pink Marabou Trimmed Rainbow Leg Warmers, a Purple Feathered Black Leather Codpiece, and an Emerald Green Overly Fluffy Scarf The Pink Necromancer's Deceitful Carpet Weave Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies Pliable Clay on the Potter's Wheel Pocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders Finderu Preparations for the Street Market of the GodForsaken City Psychotic Dead Things Quaraun's Beauty Makeovers Quaraun's Candle Business Quaraun's Irritable Day Quaraun and The Wandering Turtle City Quarreling Over the Last Slice of Pizza A Quiet Day on The Blue Monkey The Quiet Evening in the Pink Silk Tent A Quiet Evening In The Rain A Quiet Night on The River A Quiet Place To Sweep A Quiet, Relaxing Foot Rub The Rain-Drenched Alley Raining Cats & Dogs Readers vs Readers, What Really Makes a Reader, a Reader? Remove! The Return of ZooLock The River Boat Man-Woman The Sacred Pink Secret (TW: Mpreg Yaoi) Safety and Emergency System Activated. Please Being Calm Santa's Floating Dead Body Santa's Letter To Satan The Screaming Contest The Seagull Sea Slugs and Clam Chowder Bread Bowls Secret Meeting Hidden Behind Closed Doors Shadows on the Clam Flats Shipyard at Dusk The Silence of the Unseen Silks in the Snow The Singing Crabgrass Crabs — A Green Fairy Wine Tale A Sinister-Looking Stone Well Six Days Earlier The Snake's Prophecy of Doom Upon The Fractured Moon A Solitary Black Sock Spinning Dreams in Silk The Soul Eater Spacious Space Spooky Scary Skeletons - A Graveyard Waltz Stillness in the Garden's Chaos Stone Cakes for the Road Survival Preppers Of The Zombie Apocalypse The Swamp of Death The Tavern in the Faraway Town The Temple City of The Green Goddess, Where Every Street Has a Name The Terrifying Cliffs of Noodle Beach, featuring Etiole That Afternoon When Quaraun Got Stuck In a Crab Trap That Big Bad Darkness in His Heart A Threatening Letter Too Busy Cooking Lemon Tarts Toobe's Well-Prompted Apocalypse (A ChatBot Plans Global Domination) The Trade Caravan A Tumble In The River The Vacuous Tavern Fool Waiter, There's A Head In My Soup Wandering Merchant: The Trader’s Cryptic Goods (Part 2 of ShipYard At Dusk) What I Wish I Knew Before Not Becoming an Astrophysicist When a Government Tries to Cover Its Crimes Why the Sea is Salt A Winter Wizard Wishing For Lobster Rolls-Never Make Wishes In The Presence of Wizards WORMS! Wrath of the Sacred Pink JellyFish Yelling at the Snowstorm You've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman You trust that nonsense over a map? Zombies Are Not the Worst Thing Here {TW: Love fucking wins} Zwodder: A Drowsy Stupid State of Mind Hmmm... soooo... I was making the above list to ALL the links to EVERY Quaraun story published on my website here, and adding it into the footer of my site, here as you can see, which loads on every page, and then I realized... wait... there are over two thousand Pink Necromancer stories up free to read on my website, I can't put two thousand links on every single page! Whoops! LOL! So, now I'm putting list to ALL the links to EVERY Quaraun story published on my website here on this page instead and just link that page to the footer instead. But also I'll just leave some of the links in the footer, as you can see above. FacebookXPinterestTumblrRedditWhatsApp ShareFacebookXPinterestTumblrRedditWhatsApp The Park Bench Method of Writing

1. EelKat Wendy C Allen: Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author & Art Car Designer
2. Just Write!
3. Write something! Just do it!! Right now! Writing something! You can do it! You know you want to! I believe in you!
4. Only one thing is writing...WRITING! So just start writing, right now, today.
5. What (self-publishing) platform pays the most (for books)? My top 3 picks. Comparing my results from different places.The Park Bench Method of Writing Rapid Release Fiction without Burning Out

1. EelKat Wendy C Allen: Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author & Art Car Designer
2. Just Write!
3. Write something! Just do it!! Right now! Writing something! You can do it! You know you want to! I believe in you!
4. Only one thing is writing...WRITING! So just start writing, right now, today.
5. What (self-publishing) platform pays the most (for books)? My top 3 picks. Comparing my results from different places.The Park Bench Method of Writing Rapid Release Fiction without Burning Out

The Park Bench Method of Writing

If you are one of (as of December 2025, the now more than ten thousand) daily visitors, who arrive here daily in search of SEO advice, I made this page for you:

My response to the alarming spike in traffic to my "SEO" pages. aka I am getting Weird Spike In Google Traffic For SEO & Content Writing & Marketing keywords and search terms even though this is a Yaoi and Gay Romance website that has absolutely nothing to do with SEO or Content Writing or Content Marketing What the fuck?

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