Quaraun the Insane

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Chapter Index

Volume 22: 

GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover

Volume 22: GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover

A portal opens up in their path and unexpectedly zaps Quaraun and Unicorn into the middle of the American Civil War, landing them right in the Confederate Army Camp. Mistaking Unicorn for an escaped slave and the French Canadian Quaraun for being an underground railway freedom fight for the North, they both find themselves in irons in front of a firing squad. 

But one should never try to fight the world's most powerful Necromancer in a battle field of dead soldiers, especially not when he also has a Lich at his command.

With the Americans left to fight hoards of zombies, Quaraun and Unicorn escape to the nearby woods, where they discover the past, isn't what they thought it was, and this war, is actually a thousand years in the future... when Humans have progressed too far and are fast destroying themselves and their planet.

In a future after the Battle of Ongadada has already happened, wandering through fields of crashed planes, downed rockets, and dead autos, and worrying about the moon that is now shattered into millions of asteroids, another portal opens up, this one dropping the Chaos Demon GhoulSpawn into the Pink Necromancer's bed.

The three must work together to find their way back to the 1400s where they belong, but the growing relationship between Quaraun and GhoulSpawn has Unicorn venting his Lichish fury on the locals. 

Desperate to return back to their correct time, the trio, head to Black Tower, only to find its been destroyed by GhoulSpawn's future self: Gremlin the deranged Chaos wizard whose only goal now is to crash the moon into Earth and wipe out life entirely...

Trapped In The Civil War

The Scared Necromancer

Someone's Eating The Moon

No Goldfish Today?

Chocolate Covered Elves 

Down By the River

GhoulSpawn and the Drunk Necromancer

Evil Elves 

Two Lovers, Two Armies, and an Angry Lich

How To Kill a Lich

The Lover's Triangle 

The Angry Lich

The Dying Elf

Trapped

Changes

Demon Lover

White Rock Asylum For The Criminally Insane

The Gremlin's House/Kill The Baby

GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover Was Written As Part of a Write & Publish A Book In A Week Challenge

Full Details On How This Book Was Written Can Be Found Here:

Pages Which Feature More Sample Scenes From
GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lords Lover
As Well As Details On How This Book Was Written

Who is GhoulSpawn?

GhoulSpawn does not a appear in many of the stories in the series, but when he does, he tends to push Quaraun out of centre stage and step in as the main character of the story. His backstory is one of the primary arches of the series. Books with his name in the title, feature him as the primary PoV character.

GhoulSpawn is one of the very early characters from the series and was featured as the main character throughout many stories written in the 1970s and 1980s, where he was then seen as the elderly Gremlin, a mad scientist who claimed to be an ancient wizard and had difficulty staying out of a straight jacket.

Many of the stories from the early Twighlight Manor series were told from Gremlin's perspective, and were presumed to be the narrations of a schizophrenia patent to his psychiatrist (which as you know most every story in this series is, thus why the 1400s scenes are often broken up by White Rock's doctors.

GhoulSpawn is the ancient Gremlin's younger self.

GhoulSpawn is a teenager from the 1970s, who was whisked away to the 1400s by an LSD powered time machine that was built out of a 1974 AMC Gremlin. It is unknown who built the car or why. GhoulSpawn acquired it when he was around 13 years old. The story he tells, is that he one day encountered a group of hippies in the park, and set out to play a game of live action (LARP) Dungeons and Dragons with them, himself playing a Chaos Wizard half-Elf. The game was interrupted by a police raid, as it turned out the hippies were LSD chemists and the glove compartment of the car full of drugs. During a high speed chase to escape police, the car suddenly flew into the sky and was sent through a portal where GhoulSpawn found himself in the 1400s, now transformed into the half-Elf Chaos wizard he had played in the game.

The first time he encounters Quaraun and Unicorn is 2 years later at age 15, in the story The City of the Screaming Statues.

Though Quaraun is the most powerful Wizard ever known, GhoulSpawn far surpasses Quaraun's ability. Quaraun often arrogantly refers to GhoulSpawn as a mage (a slur again magicians) due to the fact that GhoulSpawn has no formal training in Wizardry.

Quaraun, an elderly Elf, 500 years old upon meeting the 15 year old GhoulSpawn; himself spent 300 years learning magic, and can not fathom any belief that GhoulSpawn is a Wizard, due to GhoulSpawn's being so very young.

By the time the 15 year old GhoulSpawn meets Quaraun in City of the Screaming Statues, the young half-Elf has mastered the art of casting in real life the over the top fictional spells from his DnD Player's Handbook and Dungeon Master's Guide and has made himself a long green velvet frock coat, the lining of which is lined with more than 2 dozen pockets that are made out of bags of holding.

Amoung other things, GhoulSpawn carries his car, a big red armchair, around 200 Dungeons and Dragons books, and an ever growing herd of sheep in his pockets.

GhoulSpawn is not in the series again until Summoner of Darkness, where he appears as both the 16 year old GhoulSpawn and the 1,000 year old Gremlin.

Quaraun frequently is walking along and suddenly finds himself in a completely different town, with no real understanding of what has happened. Because he has no ability to comprehend the concept of time travel the early novels do not tell the reader that time travel has happened.

While the time travel element is hinted to in previous volumes, Summoner of Darkness is the first volume of the series to specifically introduce the weird events in Quaraun's life as him falling through portals and coming out in different time periods.

In Summoner of Darkness, The Gremlin finds himself stuck in the 1400s when his computer runs out of power before he leaves, resulting in Quaraun discovery that GhoulSpawn is a time traveler and that they keep meeting him at different ages. For example, Quaraun encounters a 15 year old, a 16 year old, a 1,000 year old and a 1,700 year old version of GhoulSpawn, all in the space of about 6 hours, in Summoner of Darkness.

GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover, is the first time in the Quaraun series that GhoulSpawn takes on a leading role, with most of the story centering on him instead of primary main character Quaraun.

Lich Lord's Lover is set 4 years after GlouSpawn first meet Quaraun, making him now 19 in the story.

After GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover, GhoulSpawn does not again appear in the series until GhoulSpawn the Crazed and The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer, which is Part 2 of Lich Lord's Lover and picks up 3 days after Lich Lord's Lover ends.

Rose Garden is the last volume to feature GhoulSpawn before he is killed by a Thullid, which sucks out his brain, moves into his body and lives inside his corpse reanimating it, thus becoming The Gremlin.

Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer is the story which contains the death of GhoulSpawn and the birth of Gremlin in his place.

GhoulSpawn the Thullid infested undead half-Elf continues to make cameo appearances throughout the series, with his most prominent roles being in: 

• The Haunted Lighthouse
• City of The Slushies
• Flamboyant Nipples
• The Battle of Ongadada
• Wild Ghosts' Ritual of the Vortex
• Dread Chant of The Fanboys
• The Pissed Off Pumpkin Patch
• The Crystal Palace of Mt Demontooth
• Lost In a Space That Isn't There
• The Haunted House of The Mind Controlling Pissed Off Pumkin Patch
• The Crystal Cave of Time and Necromancy
• The Poisoned Merman and the Castle of The Signing Sea Slugs
• The Bloody Embrace of the Thullid
• The Black Tower
• Zebulon's Captive
• The Myth of the Mullusk
• The Ties That Bind Us
• The Dragons of Ongadada
• The Curse of The Pissed Off Pumpkin Patch
• You Can Not Choose How History Remembers You
• My Two Favourite People
• Who Killed Quaraun The Insane
• The Malignant Candy Maker and The Labyrinth of The Fuzzy Wuzzy Fluffy Bunnies
• The Blood Stained Asylim of Terror: A Tale of White Rock Asylum For The Criminally Insane
• The Slaughtering of The Unicorn

And if you think that looks like a lot of volumes, more then could be considered him only appearing in A FEW volumes, do keep in mind that the series has more than 130 novels + an additional 145 volumes planned.

The final volume of the series (The Slaughtering of the Unicorn), is volume #275 of the series. The series starts when Quaraun meets Unicorn and ends when Unicorn dies, in case anyone was wondering about the reason for this particular volume being the end of the series.

In any case, of the 275 volumes of the complete series, GhoulSpawn appears in fewer than 30 volumes, making him only a minor character in the grand scheme of things, even though he is a primary character in most of the novels he is featured in, and events that happen with him or are caused by him, play major roles in most every novel in the series, even the ones he does not appear in.

GhoulSpawn remains one of the most hated and most loved characters in the series. People who dislike him, absolutely despise him and have gone so far as to request I remove his character from the series entirely. While people who love him, often cite him as their favourite character and often request I add him into more stories more often.

For the people who don't like him, I'm sorry, but he remains one of my favourite characters of the series and he's not going anywhere.

For the people who want to see more of him: there are plans to make changes to several stories in the series to include him in the future editions, more often.

You can find out more about GhoulSpawn here:

Explaining GhoulSpawn's Sheep

A staple in every story that features GhoulSpawn, is his glittering technicolour herd of sheep, that gather around him to listen as he reads Dungeon's & Dragons manuals, while sitting in a red armchair, in the middle of some field.

I own the red chair, btw, which you see me sitting in in my BookTube videos while I read. You can see it in this video here:

The 2 most common reader questions asked about GhoulSpawn are:

1. What the hell is it with the sheep? They don't serve any plot point and seem to be there for no reason at all. What the hell?
2. Does GhoulSpawn have sex with his sheep or not?

The first story to feature Gremlin as a main character was The Wild Years, published in 1987. In this story he is a member of PETA on a mission to shut down Procter & Gamble, after encountering a local sheep farm that supplies lambs for Iams dogfood. In the slaughterhouse on the farm is a conveyor belt, onto which baby lambs are herded, then dropped into a grinder where they are chopped up while still alive.

If you have a stomach strong enough to view such things, you can see BOTH the Proctor & Gamble animal by-product grinder and McDonald's hamburger making grinder in this video here, which shows it being used on baby chickens and baby cows.

(The chicken grinder shown in this video is P&G's Iams dog food processing plant and the cow grinder seen here are Mcdonald's hamburgers be made for you.)

Please be warned, this anti-war, human rights, and animal rights protest video shows EXTREMELY GRAPHIC real life footage of poachers, slaughterhouses, human trafficing, KKK attacks, beheaded ISIS victims, and children killed by landmines.

VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED! 

Back to GhoulSpawn, the series' resident uber extreme animal rights activist...

This was a very real farm and a very real machine which I had seen when I was 8 years old, and was the reason I became an animal rights activist and a vegetarian. This aspect of GhoulSpawn's character, his being a vegan animal rights activist with a vendetta against P&G is based off my own life. (If you did not know, I am the founder of the real world Procter & Gamble Boycott and many of the Twighlight Manor books were written specifically for the boycott, thus why a character like The Gremlin took centre stage.)

Readers came to know that if Gremlin was in the story, so too would be references to the evils of Procter & Gamble, Iams dogfood's horrific sheep grinding machine, and mysterious disappearing sheep, along with his random ramblings against McDonald's, Burger King, and other giants in the animal abuse industry.

Unfortunately for GhoulSpawn, he's often rambling on deaf ears, as Quaraun, Unicorn, and others from the 1400s, have no way to comprehend the future atrocities being described by the time traveller. The reactions of people from the 1400s varies from thinking GhoulSpawn is a raving lunatic (thus why he is dubbed "GhoulSpawn the Crazed") to people understanding that he has seen something which has horribly upset him and feeling pity for him, but not really being able to understand exactly what he is talking about.

And then, when he can't get people to listen to him, he starts pulling sheep out of his pockets, not realizing that back in the 1400s he's surrounded by superstitious people who view magic, Wizards, and such things as evil sorcery and people practicing them as witches to be burned and destroyed. As a teenager from the 1970s, GhoulSpawn has as much trouble comprehending the 1400s mind as they have comprehending him.

As no one but GhoulSpawn can get anything out of or even see anything in his pockets, he can safely stuff sheep in his pockets and then innocently stand there while people run around like mad trying to figure out where all the sheep are disappearing to. He'll stuff another sheep in his pockets every time no one is looking and will continue to do this until the entire herd is gone/in his pockets. At which point he'll then jump back in his 1974 AMC Gremlin, fly back to the 1400s and set the sheep loose in green pastures.

GhoulSpawn has a particular affinity for Cotswold sheep, and his habit of stealing/rescuing sheep and taking them to the past, is used as an explanation for why Cotswolds were so very overpopulated in Medieval times, yet today are considered an endangered species.

Over the years it became a running gag in the series for other characters to bully and tease Gremlin claiming he had a sex fetish for sheep. However, GhoulSpawn does not have sex with his sheep and often seen deeply upset over the accusation. Because most people in the 1400s do not believe GhoulSpawn is a time traveller from the future, they say that he made up his story of rescuing sheep from "the gambler" to cover up habits of beasillity. Quaraun and Unicorn remain two of the only people to believe GhoulSpawn's story as he has taken them to the future and they have seen the things he speaks of for themselves.

The reason for GhoulSpawn's obsession with sheep, is a secret he rarely reveals and is known only to his closet friends: while the series often bills him as a half-Elf, leaving people to assume in also half-Human, is is rather instead half-Demon, specifically he is an Uruisg, which is a Scottish Sheep Demon, a man with the upper body of a man and the lower body of a Cotswold sheep.

In keeping with the actual Irish, Welsh, and Scottish folklore about Uruisg, GhoulSpawn is somewhat of a trickster and causes chaos to ensure whenever he is around. Also like the actual folklore he is a notorious thief and pickpocket, compulsively unable to control his urge to simply pick up and take every shiny object he sees.

Things You May Not Have Known about GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover

It took a grand total of 17 days to plot, outline, write, edit, format, create the cover art, and publish GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover, making it my "fastest written" novel ever. 

The text itself was written in a single weekend.

This was the first story in the series to say what colour Unicorn's skin was. While other stories said he was "dark" and EVERY story describes his massive frizzy woolly dreadlocked hair, this was the first story to specifically call him "black" and has racist Civil War solider characters calling him "a niggar".

GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover is the most returned novel in the series, with 97% of all copies sold to American readers being returned for a refund. However American sales make up only 5% of the total sales of the Quaraun series, with most of my readership being in Japan,  Germany, and Brazil.

GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover is the first volume of the series to show Quaraun having sex with someone other then Unicorn.

I have received more then a 100 emails from angry white power Americans (most of them residents of Maine) who have informed me that upon the discovery the series contained a non-white character, they would read no further books of the series unless I rewrote them to make Unicorn a white man.

More then a dozen emails coplained that there was "no such thing as a black Scotsman", stating that all Scottish people were white.

Scotland has had black kings, and in the 1400s, the time period of the series, not only did Scotland have a black king, but you were MORE LIKELY to encounter a short/pygmy black or brown skinned NATIVE Scotsmen wearing furs, then a tall, red-haired white one wearing kilts, as the "British Invasion of Alba" had not yet happened and kilts (a British invention) would not be invented until the 1800s.

Several people have pointed out that silk kimono are Asian not Scottish and that a Scottish king should not be wearing them. Actually, in the 1400s Persian Gypsies lived in Scotland, and had brought bright coloured silk kimono with them. It was not uncommon for the black and brown skinned Scottish tribal leaders to wear silk kimono in the 1400s.

Meaning Unicorn's being a half-Asian and half-black man, wearing fur wraps and plaid great kilts over silk kimono, is in fact historically accurate for a 1400s Scottish king.

As stated in The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy The Unicorn, was born in Scotland, but is not Scottish by blood. His father being a black man from the Sepik Region of Papua New Guinea and his mother being a Japanese woman.

His father is a Phooka (a black demon) and his mother is an Aswang (an Asian demon).

In every story he is described as "looking like a dark skinned Asian". Which makes me wonder how readers did not know he was not white, prior to the release of this novel in particular.