EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

UPDATE March 17, 2021: Another death. Waiting for a coffin to be delivered. Funeral the 21st. Unlikely to be streaming for a few weeks.


Update: March 27, 2021: It's not even been a week since the funeral, and now there is another death and another funeral.


UPDATE April 5, 2021: There are still no streams, as, we've now a another (a 3rd) funeral to prepare for.

And that is now 3 deaths in our family, in the past 2 weeks.

This 3rd death hits hard, because it was Pippi.

Our family has now had 13 deaths since March 2020.

April 10, 2015, 12 children were kidnapped.

May 15, 2015, the heads of 10 of them were nailed to my door.

August 24, 2020, one was found still alive. he was just 4 years old when she was kidnapped, but she remembered us, even though 5 years had passed.

August 25, 2020, Pippi came home, but her condition was not well. She had been tortured the entirety of the 5 years she had been held hostage. She was missing limbs and covered with scars, had broken bones many years not set, and suffered serious damage to many of her internal organs. That she was alive at all, in her condition, was a miracle. Doctors had little hope of her survival and she was sent home with Hospice care.

Pippi had cancer in her eye and needed surgery for it, which she was scheduled to have, shortly before she was kidnapped.

In the years they had her, not only did they torture her, but her cancer went untreated and spread to her brain.

By the time she was returned to us, her cancer had reached an inoperable state, so we knew she did not have much time left.

Had her cancer been treated, back when she was a toddler, she probably would have reach adulthood.

She died only 8 months after her return.

Another child, to cry out from the grave, for Etiole's vengeance upon her murderers. Another victim of evil men, who will stoop to no ends, to bury the crimes they committed 50 years ago.  Drug lords. Opium growers. Heroine dealers. Selling little girls 4 to 8 years old for sex to priests. They only care about money.

All hail the mighty tourist ass. Millions come to Old Orchard Beach every year, for one thing and one thing only: heroine. They sell their drugs to the tourists under the pier and off the balconies of that giant motel. Than drag little girls to the bedrooms of the condominiums on Smithwheel Road, behind the school. And any child who dares open their mouth and beg for help, gets tossed in the GooseFare Brooke Ravine.

Bastard drug lords. They've been doing this for 50 years, and the town hall and the police department, turn a blind eye to it, because they get paid $6million a year to not report it to the newspapers, when the body of another child washes down the ravine, into the gulley to be spit out in the ocean. No fewer than 5 bodies are found every summer, but how often does it get in the news?

The corruption of this fucking town needs to end.

Yet another dead at the hands of these criminals who run our town.

How long will the residents continue to turn a blind eye to what is happening in our town.

How many more children will you let them kill, before you stand up to them?

Another child is dead and no one in this town cares. So long as they get their money from the tourists. The blood of another murdered child screams from the graves, begging for justice. Tick tock, tick tock, so begins, yet another of Etiole's 7 year clocks.

This is why there were no/to few streams from May 2020 until now.

May 2020, after 4 years of not hearing from them at all, the FBI returned with a lead, which led to Pip's discovery a few weeks later in August.

Because of the nature of the situation, I could not talk about it, to tell you why streams had stopped.

The kidnappers, were enraged that we had recovered Pip, and that is when the attacks started up again on my home and family September 2020.

Pip's condition continued to grow worse, and she died April 5, 2021.

She was only 10 years old.

This is what it means, to not be white in America.

White men, won't even give a child the chance to grow up.

This is what white people do, to none white families like mine.

We are Gypsies with Jewish blood, for that alone we are hunted like animals.

What the men of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, did to my family, will never be forgotten or forgiven.

#If you have any information on the kidnappers or the murders...

#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

Have you forgot the extent of the damage these people did, all because, they wanted to dig up my land and removed bodies buried there, before my house builders found that barrel of bones?

Have you forgotten that 7 town hall workers, 5 public works men, a blond woman, her bald son, and her red haired sister Kendra, and 14 police officers, all lead by a man they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" were the ones 

I name every one of them, except for the ring leaders: blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name". I don't know who those 4 are. I'd never seen any of them, other than the Kendra woman before, and I only knew her fro her attacks beating me up at Panera in 2009, 2010, and 2013.

I can name every one of the others, because all I have to do is go to the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police department website, and their are their faces.

With the exception of blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name", every one else involved was government official who works for the state of Maine vis the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, the Old Orchard Beach Police Department, or the Old Orchard Beach Public Works.

And what exactly did they do?

August 8, 2013 they drove a backhoe over my house. That same backhoe drove over my previous house on the same land April 2007. That same backhoe drove over my poultry barn and horse stables July 2001. July 2001 was the first attack.

March 2015 was the the massive attack, with an entire fleet of trucks, and drove over the Church of the Holy Rhinstone, a church that stood on my land, my garage which is why I no longer have a garage to put my car in, my 2 sheds both of which had my tractors and other garden/crop machinery in them at the time. And of course the razing of the land, the cutting down of the apple orchard - the VERY apple orchard planted in 1530 that this town was named after... he actual "old orchard" of Old Orchard Beach... the very original trees - huge massive apple trees over 400 years old. The grape vineyards, the cherry trees, the pears trees. 

April 10, 2015, they returned, 4 police officer held me a gun point, while 10 other police officers held my children down with long poles with metal wire strangle loops on the end, and beat their faces in with cinder block bricks, knocking out every one of their teeth, breaking their jaws... POLICE OFFICERS DID THAT... while men they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" and "Dan" stood there and told the police officers what to do, how to beat them, while "Mark who needs no last name" boldly bragged that he paid the Old Orchard Beach police $6million dollars to do this.

May 15, 2015... the heads, hands, feet, and intestines of my children were nailed to my door. Later that same day police officer W. W. came to my home begging for forgiveness and claimed that men he referred to only as "Mark and Dan" were holding his beloved mother-in-law hostage and torturing her, and he helped in the April 10, 2015 attack, only to save her life and get her back. He claimed he had no prior knowledge of what was going to happen, claiming that he'd been told they were only going to "scare" us. He said he had not expected anyone to get hurt, he had not known my children would be tortured and kidnapped, he had not known they were going to be murdered. He said he was scared for his life and lives of his family. And he said: "They form a small army, our department doesn't have enough man power to stop them, and every one in this town is too scared to fight back. You don't know what's going on. And I think they mixed you up with someone else. They didn't know you were the owner of this land. They didn't know that was your motorhome. They thought someone else owned this place. It wasn't even your family they were after. You were the wrong target. You don't know who these people are. What they've done to our families. This is the actual Mafia. The real deal. I'm so sorry. This is the address they sent us to. But they had a different name as the owner. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were after someone else. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let my family died. And now yours is dead instead. This wasn't supposed to happen."

June 19, 2016... I did a very specific livestream. You see... A., D., B., and T. in the 1970s and 1980s, were in the habit of dragging big black trash bags into the forest, crossing my land to do it, and dumping those bags into the Goosefare Brook Ravine. In 1983, 3 snuck into Etiole's swamp and planted 3 acres of Marijuana. Someone found it and called the police, I don't know who... it was Maine's largest drug raid for decades. Many, many millions in plants where dug up and removed from Etiole's swamp. A few weeks later A, & D,s 10 year old daughter ran into my yard, touched my car on a dare from other children - the 1964 Dodge 330 former Old Orchard Beach police car, known by Stephen King fans as the REAL Christine, The World's Most Haunted Car... than jumped her bike, and sped down the road, as fast as she could, head on into a car coming the other way. She died instantly, he brain shattered all over the end of my driveway, and her mother A responded by the Battle of 458 - the biggest mass shooting ever in Maine history, that ended up with 3 Gypsy clans and 2 police departments, in a shoot out between 70+ adults all armed with guns. One of my cousins, an 8 year old boy, standing 3 feet from me, had his eye shot out by one of the bullets. While A ran around the street screaming: "FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

THOSE are the 31 children, whose bones were sawed up and tossed into the GooseFare Brook Ravine... yes, that DOES mean, police officers KNEW those children were there and covered it up.  And I witnessed that entire event.

And THAT is WHY... when police officers murdered my family in 2015, I did a livestream, walking to the ravine, to show the world, where those bones were... because I'm sick and tired of the police corruption in this fucking town, and those sawed up bones of 31 children are PROOF of what this town government is like.... as are the heads of my children that were nailed to my door.

At the end of The Battle of 4-5-8... A. took 2 gas cans and poured them all over the big dome house, than set a match to it, and no one knew, why when she did her brother B., started running, jumped in his robin egg blue truck and backed down the driveway, hit Portland Ave doing 70 and didn't stop driving until the high speed chase caught him in CT... oh but we knew before he was out of sight, why he started running... the dome house went up like Hiroshima into a mushroom cloud that could be seen across the entire state... turns out there was a Meth lab in that house.

June 19, 2016... the livestream of the bones went viral, it's what made my YouTube channel suddenly explode overnight... and police officer W.W. upset, by the fact that, the livestream included the entire police call and response, and that response was to laugh and do nothing... fed up with the corruption in his department, he forwarded that livestream VOD to the FBI, and the FBI arrived in Old Orchard Beach, to dig up the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, and all hell broke lose in this town, as most of the police officers suddenly found themselves arrested. An entire new police force from out of state was brought in to replace the long time officers who had proven they could be trusted to uphold the law. Many town hall officials and public works employees also found themselves arrested by the FBI.

June 26, 2016... barely a week later... the blond woman and the red haired Kendra woman showed up at my workplace, Scarborough WalMart, and tried to kill me, yet again... these are the same 2 woman who attacked me with golf clubs at Southern Maine Community College November 14, 2013... they left dead in 2013, I was paralized for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. I was out of the wheel chair, and I was without a walker, I was without a cane. I had almost fully covered from their November 14, 2013 attack with golf clubs... June 26, 2016, this time they attacked with shopping carts, and I'm now crippled for the rest of my life. They shattered 3 vertebra this time and it can't be operated on. I had to relearn to walk a second time, and I'm not yet recovered now in 2021. In 2013 they drove away in the 4 door white pickup truck. In 2016 they drove away in a gold Volvo SUV station wagon.

That blond woman and her red haired Kendra sister, they are wanted by the FBI for attempted murder of me and they are also wanted in questioning for being suspected of also being the murderers of my children.

I don't know who these 2 women are.

The blond woman shows up my driveway frequently, screaming and yelling, sometime accompanied by a small child, about 5 years old, that she pulls behind her in a red radio flyer wagon. She looks to be about 60 or 70. She often wears a denim button down shirt and jeans. She's prone to yelling at passing cars, while pointing up my driveway, and saying: "There's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband."

I've never tried to kill anyone, so accusation is baffling at best.

She seems to think I know who she is, and has made the claim, that "I was that brat in school"... the red haired Kendra woman, sometimes with her, claims to be her sister, also appears to be 60 to 70 and also seems to think I know who she is, and frequently says: "You bullied me in school, but no more, I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my turn to shine."

They BOTH make the claim they went to school with me, and yet, I never went to school, a well documented fact... because I'm the child the FBI rescued what the news media called "Maine's House of Horrors". I was locked in a cage when I was 8 years old. I was let out on Sundays, to go to church, and not allowed to speak or make eye contact with anyone, and this was only done infrequently, whenever church goers asked what happened to that girl you had". I was 31 years old when the FBI arrived, because of Heaven's Gate having killed 39 people, and my uncle being one of the members and self proclaiming himself as the leader of Heaven's Gate after Applewhite's death. The FBI was investigating the murder of 39 people in California, and had no idea they'd find children in cages in Maine as a result.

So you see, when the blond woman and her Kendra sister, make the claim they went to school with me and I was the class bully who beat them up, this is easily proven false, because the time period when I should have been in school, I was locked in a cage, being tortured by my sadistic uncle Bruce.

Also, they are in their late 60s to mid 70s... making them older than my parents, so how could I have been in school with them, even if I had gone to school? At best I would have been starting pre-school the year they would have been graduating high school.

These things they say about school, only further agrees with what police officer W. W. said May 15, 2015, when he made the claim, they had gotten me mixed up with someone else.

July 2016, a month after the shopping cart attack... yet another Old Orchard Beach police officer arrived, this one accompanied by 2 Biddeford officers, who had been former OOB officers... these 3 officers, had a vastly eye opening story to tell me.

They had been called to Old Orchard Beach, to my farm, to arrest me, a call made to them, by a man named Mark, whom one of these officers, claimed was his brother in law. This Biddeford officer, said he requested to transfer ot of Old Orchard Beach department years ago, because his sister (whom he claimed he suspected, but could not prove was the blond woman whom had attacked me at WalMart) was quote "trying to control the town" he said "treats Old Orchard Beach like a dynasty, thinks she's a duchess, has severe mental disorders, and thought she could buy the police department". He went on to say, she got in with the real Mafia years ago and went to her head, and now she thinks she IS the Mafia and most of Old Orchard Beach's business owners, especially the motel owners are scared shitless of her, because they believe her claim to be Mafia. He went on to say, she's not Mafia, but she's good at convincing people she is and stated "I wouldn't murder beyond her. She'd do it just to prove she is Mafia." He said he transferred out of OOB department to Biddeford department because he was fed up with how easy it was for her to get every officer to do anything she asked. He said "the corruption in that department runs deep; don't cross her or any officer she controls; they WILL kill you and every around you. You don't know who her husband is. He doesn't just control that town, he controls half the state."

What he was telling me was bizarre on extremes, but even more bizarre was the live feed radio call, that he had me listen too, as it was happening, on my farm in Old Orchard, while I was at my dad's house in Biddeford.

He said: "The Old Orchard Department called me, asked me to come over here. Buddy Will wanted to prove you were not in Old Orchard and that Mark has you mixed up with someone else. That fucking bastard is crying wolf and trying to frame you, we can prove it right now. We are fucking fed up WolfBoy."

He turned on his radio, so I could hear. A what I heard... a man whose voice I do not recognize, yelling at a Officer W.W. and saying: 

"That is Wendy, arrest her now! That is EelKat. She tried to kill me."

While officer W.W. and another officer, told the man: "his isn't Wendy. We have officers with her right now. Who tried to kill you? Wendy? Or THIS woman right here?"

"This woman right here! This is EelKat I tell you! Arrest her! What do you think I pay you for! You aren't allow to defy me! I own this town! You are my slaves. I command you to arrest her!"

W.W.: "This isn't EelKat. This isn't Wendy. I've known her for years. And right now, she's on the other side of the state. With 3 officers, listening to you right now. You are NOT the law. We've had it with you. You don't own me. And you've mixed her up with someone else. You've been harassing the wrong damned person. You dare call us about Wendy ever again, and I will personally arrest you for false reports, than I'll tell them everything. You'll never see the outside a prison for the rest of your life when I get done with you. You fucking leave this woman alone. You destroyed her life, because you couldn't tell her apart from someone else."

I used to aqua jog, mountain climb, horseback riding, and I hiked 13 miles a day. And in the blink of an eye, that lifestyle was taken away, and every day was struggle, just to sit up and breath, with no hope of ever walking again. I defied doctors. It's been 8 years and I can move around the house by holding on to things and I now can walk again, at the moment only short distances outside with a cane, and the hope is to continue to improve. I still have a long road of recovery ahead. But I'm walking again, something that 8 years ago, doctors said would never happen. 

My farm was razed.

My family was murdered.

I was 5 months paralysed, and had to relearn to walk. It was 8 years ago and I'm not yet fully recovered due to 3 inoperable vertebrae and hip dysplasia. November 14, 2013, 10PM, at WalMart, while putting bags of groceries in the back seat of my car, I was attacked by 3 rapists armed with metal golf clubs, who left me parallelized, in a wheel chair, broken spine, broken hip, broken pelvis, broken knees, serve nerve damage to my left side limiting the use of my left hand, my bladder incontinent from nerve damage, they left me for dead, and I had doctors telling me I would never walk again.

There's more that has happened. A lot more. The thousands of gallons of sewage they pumped into my motorhome in 2015. The cats. the Ptarmagin cats. World famous groups of cats. You remember them. If so, you remember what these people did to those cats. Poisoned. All dead the same day. 12 cats. Dead to what the vet described as: "enough poison to kill a great dane". My horse, she had her head beat in with a rock. My bantam roosters... 70 pet roosters, hung by their necks in rope nooses in my rose bushes.

All because this man, this mystery Mark, whose last name seems to be known to the police but is still unknown to me and man whom I've never seen or met - he keeps his face covered whenever he shows up... mistook me for someone else... and police officers and town hall workers and public work employees.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach... this is NOT the way life should be, you know it.

What these people did to me, should never have happened, and according to the police, it's been happening for 50+ years to hundreds of people, hundreds of families, in this town, and every one is too scare to talk about it or fight back to stop it. That NEEDS to change.

The corruption in our town, needs to stop... but it won't end, until every last person who is being harassed by these people stand up, put their foot down, and say enough is enough, we ain't gonna take this any more.

We the people of Old Orchard Beach need to take back our town.

NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....

The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
Of What? How to Better Bed Kings?


Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 

Noses, Penis Piercings, And Rapunzel Hair
Writing Character Descriptions

(This page is NSFW)

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Noses, Penis Piercings, And Rapunzel Hair 
Writing Character Descriptions

Noses, Penis Piercings, And Rapunzel Hair 
Writing Character Descriptions

I drive my readers batty with this. I keep getting emails asking "So, what exactly does Quaraun look like?"

All it ever says in the books is that he has silver-white hair that sweeps the floor, hypnotic blue eyes, and the angelic features of an enthal beauty. I let the readers take it from there. However it is they envision an "enthral beauty" that's what he looks like. :P

Are there scenes that describe Quaraun's nose?

I can't think of any.

There are however scenes that mention his nose. Quite frequently actually, and if you know the series, you know why.

If you don't know the series well... Quaraun has 12 inch long, thin, pointed ears, which, normally are held down against his back, like a lop eared rabbit, hidden under his hair, and not noticeable.

Quaraun's ears are highly animated, and like fingers, he has quite a bit of control over moving them. You can tell his emotions by his ears. If he's calm and relaxed. his ears are not noticeable at all.

When startled, his ears go straight up over his head. When he's listening intently, his ears face forward. When scared, his ears face backward, and at a downward angle. When he feels threatened and starts growling and showing his sharp teeth, his ears go back at an angle.

Quaraun has an amazing sense of hearing, and can pick up on sounds up to a mile away. He can hear conversations spoken in houses down the street. Quaraun often prefers to live in isolated areas far from civilization, due to simply wanting peace and quiet.

Yes, I know, I'm talking about his ears, but this leads to his nose...

There are frequent descriptions of his ears changing movement as, this alerts the other characters to various dangers. Other character know to look to Quaraun's ears. And they don't have to see his hears to know they changed, they only have to listen...

Quaraun's nose.

Perhaps it is best, to just let you read a scene in which Quaraun's nose is in fact mentioned...

"Maybe map say we supposed to spend night in ruins?"

"Spend a night in ruins?"


"Let's keep walking," Quaraun said as he stood up, and went back to the road.

Unicorn followed him.

"Why for not stay in ruins?"

"Fresh ruins. With soot and ash..."

"Aye. Me forgetsing, me Elf can'na get dust on him perfectly pristine self."

“Why did you make this map?”

“Sos I never gets lost.”

“It never tells us anything useful.”

“Than why ya uses it?”

“I don't know, I...” Quaraun suddenly stopped walking. 

Unicorn slammed into him.

"I wish ya would no stops like dat. Give me some warning before ya does dat."

"I heard something," Quaraun said nervously.

The Elf's eyes grew wide with fear, his long pointed ears pricked high and alert.

"Ya always hearing t'ings. Ya can hear a mile away wid those rabbit ears o'yars."

"No. I heard something."

"Dair ain't no t'ing out dair."

"There's always something out there."

"Aye. Frogs in trees. Birds in water. Fish in sky. Dair always be t'ings out dair. We does no have to panic over every one of dem, eh?"

"Yes we do."

"No we do'na."

"There's dangers around every corner."

"Aye. Un scared rabbity eared Elves waiting to runs from every one of dems."

Quaraun's long ears laid back fearfully.

"What was that?" He whispered.

"What were what?"

"Shut up."

Quaraun clamped his hand over Unicorn's mouth and perked up his long pointed ears to listen.

"I heard something."

Quaraun climbed up onto a log and continued to listen. His thin, pointed foot long ears twitched, nervously causing the chains connected back to his nose to shake and tinkle.

"Someone's hurt."

~From "The Summoner of Darkness" (Volume 11 of The Quaraun Series)

Quaraun has 24 earrings in each ear.

Quaraun has 3 nose rings, 1 in the center, and one in each side.

Each ring in his ear, has a tiny linked, delicate chain in it. Each chain, connects back to one of the rings in his nose.

Every few links of the chain has tiny pink watermelon tourmaline crystal points hanging from it.

Keeping in mind here that Quaraun is a priest and wears very distinctive robes and jewelry that are a part of his religion.

Quaraun is Persian and a transvestite. meaning he's dressed, not as a priest, but rather as a priestess. He wears very Muslim inspired clothes, including the fact that he wears a hijab style veil.

Quaraun is the only Elf member of his religion.

Quaraun's long ears make it difficult for him to wear the hijab style ceiling properly. Thus you see him wearing these elaborate network of rings and chains, as a way to keep his face covered.

The jewelry acts as a veil.

MOST of Quaraun's face is obscured from view by of this massive network of jewelry. The chains act like vieling, with only his eyes and lips visible. The action of his ears constantly moving with his emotional, causes the crystal points and chains to make tinkling sounds when he moves his ears, thus this sound alerts his travelling companions to the fact that danger is near.

And thus you see the extent of descriptions of Quaraun's face, and why there are no descriptions of his face or his nose, seeing how neither can be seen.

But back to the OP we are answering...

We are being told, by someone who admits both to not being a reader and not being a writer, as well as being someone with no published books... we are being told by this person not to describe noses.

But as I stated in the beginning of this...I drive my readers batty with this. I keep getting emails asking "So, what exactly does Quaraun look like?"

These readers obviously DO want a description, otherwise wy would they ask for it?

This leaves me to wonder though...your advice to NOT describe... is it REALLY what readers want?

I mean, you are not a published author, so do you even know what readers want? You clearly are not telling us what YOUR readers want? You don't know from experience of writing for readers, what readers are looking for, soooo...

You know, this falls under the category of non-writers giving bad advice.

My question is:

What credtials do you have to be giving advice on how to describe a character?

You can't even give us examples of how you describe your own characters.

Look at the answers you've gotten here. Answers from writers. But not answers from either authors or readers. Have you checked te profiles of the people giving you these 100+ responses? Read their other comments and post throughout Reddit?

I did. And I recommend you do as well. Might be pretty eye opening.

A large percentage of the writers here (more than two thirds of them) openly admit several key factors:

  • they've never published anything
  • they never plan to publish anything
  • having a goal to publish is arrogant and self serving and to be avoided
  • they hated English class in school
  • writing is dull and boring
  • reading is dull and boring
  • no one in their right mind reads books these days
  • they are writing only because they saw a movie and wanted to write a similar story
  • they have never willinging read a book, nor would they

And yet, here you have those very same people, who said those things, here telling you what you should or should not be doing when you write.

Do you REALLY want to take the advice of people who openly admitted elsewhere that they hate English classes, don't read, and think that the goal of publishing a book is stupid?

Think about it.

A lot of the advice being given on this sub is very bad and coming from people who are neither authors nor readers and are just trolling to see if they can get newbie writers who don't know any better to take their advice - some of them have said as much on other subs they are on.

Go look at their profiles and read the comments they made on other subs. 

Wile there are writers here, most of them are unpublished, are not seaking publishing, and are taking out their ass when they give writing advice, most of it just something they heard someone else say and not anything they ever tried or tested for themselves.

Not being published, means they also have no readers for their work, so they also have no clue what readers want.

Now sure every reader wants something different, but readers also tend to fall into groups. One genre will attract this type of reader while another genre attracts that other type of reader, and so on.

The goal is to find out what do YOUR readers want. And you can't do that until you know who your readers are, which until you are published and actually have readers, you'll never know.

Which means, any advice on "what readers want", that is given by any unpublished person, is null and void and should be completely ignored, unless that person is an avid reader telling "here's what I want to see more of and less of".

The problem with the bulk of the answers on this sub, is that many of it's most active members are neither readers nor writers and are just here to toss jokes around without giving any real or helpful advice. And I'm sorry to say, the trolls were out in full force on your thread tonight, which is why there are so very many answers on this thread, when most threads struggle to get even 4 or 5 answers. So I caution you to read the comments on this thread with a grain of salt as most of the comments were made by people who neither read nor write. 

But back to your describe or don't describe point...

I say it depends on the genre and what readers want. 

Some readers want lots of descriptions and others want no descriptions so that they can imagine the details themselves. And neither way is wrong. Each simply caters to a different audience is all.

Like I said at the beginning here, I drive my readers batty with the lack of detail. I write Epic Length Grimdark High Fantasy Bizzarro Yaoi Absurdism in a Literary Slice of Life Style, using the Ernest Hemingway format. Which means the stories are:

  • heavy on dialogue
  • low on description
  • heavy on relationship drama
  • low on action
  • high on sexual tenstion
  • low on battlefront action
  • heavy on the blood sparter, guts, and gorn
  • low on logic
  • heavy on scenes for entertainment
  • low of a reason for anything to be happening
  • heavily character driven
  • with no plots to be seen anywhere

That's why I keep getting emails asking "So, what exactly does Quaraun look like?"

All it ever says in the books is that he has silver-white hair that sweeps the floor, hypnotic blue eyes, and the angelic features of an enthal beauty. I let the readers take it from there. However it is they envision an "enthral beauty" that's what he looks like. :P

The only book to feature a picture of Quaraun on the cover.

Every time Quaraun walks into a new town, a new tavern, a new place, he's greeted by people in shock and awe over what he looks like. Readers know immediately that this guy stands out. He doesn't look like your average Joe. People stop and stare when he walks by. Ever one, men and women alike want to bed with him. There are scenes where women literally throw themselves at his feet while saying: "You are the most beautiful man I've ever seen, I want to have your baby."

Quaraun is described as being the single most beautiful man on the planet.

But beyond telling you he has blue eyes and insanely long silvery-white hair, you are not told what exactly he looks like. This was done deliberately to allow readers to very simply imagine him in whatever what they imaging the ultimate beauty to look like. Every reader has a different idea of what a hypnotically beautiful man looks like.

Quaraun is also a man, who is difficult to live with, and most people who meet him, are soon greeted with his sharp tongue, rude manners, his arrogant ego, and his overbearing vanity. Few can tolerate his company, or his whiny hissy fits and bitchfests. He is selfish, crude, lewd, and expects everyone to wait on him hand and foot.

Quaraun has a beautiful body and an ugly personality.

He's also a serial killer.

The woman who was throwing herself at his feet begging to have his baby? He'll just as easily fuck her on one page then cut her head off on the next.

I find it more effective, to simply describe him as being beautiful beyond belief, no physical description, show the townsfolk reacting to seeing him, let the reader draw their own conclusions as to what defines beauty on that level, and then let the reader see his personality, his bitterness, his bad attitude, his hostility, his uncaringly nature.

To me, his personality is far more important then describing his physical features. 

>>My characters always start my works by looking in the mirror, studying each feature, and categorizing their features at length. Isn't that what people do in the real world?

LOL! I once had Quaraun do this, just to poke fun at the books who did it. He spends 4 pages, raving and ranting over how his corset won't fit right, then starts describing what he looks like, for no reason at all. Another character, Unicorn, comes over carrying another mirror and starts helping him describe everything. A 3rd character walks in and asks them what the hell they are doing. None of them knows. It's hysterical, because it doesn't fit the rest of the story at all.

It's not in the beginning of the book either, it's 200 pages into a 500 page novel.

>>If you're part of society, you'll have some level of worry about your appearance. Showering, shaving, brushing your teeth, doing your hair. You'll probably spending a decent chunk of every day of your life looking in a mirror to see if how you want to present yourself matches how others will see you.

>>I realize I'm being a little facetious and ignoring your point, but part of being human is being self-conscious of how you look.

>>Whether a story should include that routine... 


There you go, interesting cap lock for emphasis.

Why are these things important to talk about?

Well, authors like to put them in their novels, because they do these thing, but they fail to consider that these things usually were not yet invented during the time period of the book.

Showering... an invention of the 1950s

Showering DAILY ... invented in 1987

Shaving... punishable by execution in the Bible, the greatest sin possible after eating pig (#1) and murder (#2) and shaving (#3) is more of a sin then adultery (#7 on the list).

Shaving... from about the 800s to 1300s, Europeans did full body shaves - including eyebrows, head, and legs... this was a sign of wealth and cleanliness - it was also a way to publicly say "Look, I don't have lice like you filthy peasants do".

Shaving... taboo in the 1800s, most men sported huge beards, even gentlemen and noblemen in spite of what the Victorian era movies show you... try looking at some real photos of men from the era

Shaving... face for men, legs for women, did not become a fashionable thing to do until the 1920s... armpits remained unsaved til the 1950s though.

Shaving... 1970s, as a sign that you stood for Human Rights, Equality, and Peace, NO HAIR anywhere on the body was shaved.

Brushing your teeth... the concept of tooth car was invented by Native Americans who chewed on cinnamon bark after eating. This was not discovered by white men until the "Wild West Days" in the 1830s.

Brushing your teeth... toothbrushes were only available from doctors until the 1980s. The first toothbrush to be sold in stores, appeared in 1984.

Brushing your teeth - DAILY... was an invention of the 1990s, so at no era before 1994, should you ever have a character who even knows to brush his teeth daily, let alone does.

Looking in the mirror... Mirrors were invented by the Ancient Egyptians... back then a mirror was large slab of micca (a shiny rock) that was polished smooth. Have you ever owned a micca mirror? I have one. You can ALMOST make out a blurry image of your face. It's like looking through fog and expecting to see a house across the street. You can see yourself better by looking into a fast moving river.

Looking in the mirror... Mirrors with more clarity existed in the 1400s... these were made out of black obsidian (volcanic glass) that was polished smooth. Like the micca mirror, this is not what we think of today when we think mirror. What you see looks like you wearing black-face paint, and smudge badly.

Looking in the mirror...Something similar to what we think of as a mirror, was invented in the 1700s (Rococo era) and was a very think (over an inch) piece of rolled pressed glass, with a layer of (highly toxic) "liquid silver" (mercury) painted to the back of it. Only royalty could afford this lethal object... just touching it could kill you if you rubbed your hand across the silvering, thus why mirrors were put in frames, so as to protect the viewer from a horrible death by mercury poisoning. These were called Silvering Looking Glasses.

Looking in the mirror...Around the 1830s, Silvering Looking Glasses, began to be made of thinner, smaller glass, making them accessible by the upper class working citizen for the first time.

Looking in the mirror...Mirrors did not become available to the general public until the 1920s. They were still made from highly toxic mercury coated on plates of glass.

Looking in the mirror...What we today think of as a mirror... came into existence in the 1950s. So if your character is looking in a mirror at any era before the 1950s, your story is suffering from server anachronism.

Let's look at it some more...


Quaraun bathes daily, sometimes more then once, in a time period when bathing was punishable as witchcraft. 

In the real world 1400s Europe, people were only allowed to bath once every 6 months, when the priest came to town for a public bathing ceremony. "Cleanliness is next to godliness" and thus, is was mandatory that people bath once every six months, no more, no less. If a person refused to bath in town square in front of the priest and everyone else, they were executed as a witch, and if they were found bathing in private any time of the year, or commited the sin of bathing more then once every 6 months, they were executed as a witch.

It was a medical breakthrough, in 1957 when doctors/scientists discovered it was okay to bath as often as once a month.

In 1978, science discovered you wouldn't die of pneumonia if you bathed as often as once a week, and this gave rise to the Saturday Morning Cartoon public service campaign of celebrities like Johnny Cash and Vincent Price saying: "Now remember, kids, tell you're parents it's okay for you to bath more then once a month, it's even okay to bath as often as once a week now!" 

It wasn't until 1987 that the possibility of bathing daily was thought up and it wasn't until 1994 that it began to catch on.

It's 2018 right now... 1994 was only 24 years ago.

24 years ago, people didn't know it was safe to bath daily.

24 years ago, bathing daily was seen as weird and bad for your health.

And yet, how many authors write Medieval Fantasy showing a person bathing daily, and no other character bats an eye,m the law doesn't punish them either?

Yes, you see descriptions of Quaraun bathing daily, AND you see wanted posters that list his heinous crimes: murder, necromancy, rape, bathing daily.... yeah.

There's not much historically accuracy in the Quaraun series, but, when there is, it's done right. 

The next day Unicorn watched Quaraun as he bathed himself. It always amazed Unicorn that this Elf who daily sought out a brook, pond, river, lake, or ocean to wade into and bathe himself, was also the same Elf who ran screaming from bridges, had a horrific fear of crossing water via fallen logs, avoided rain, and spent an inordinate amount of time worrying that he'd fall into puddles and drown.

I has experienced great many sex partners,” Unicorn said to GhoulSpawn.

I'm sure you have. I've never seen anyone who loves sex as much as you do.”

I has never gots one that bathes as much as him do.”

No one bathes as much as he does. His need for excessive cleanliness astounds me. It's no wonder he turns dead things into fish. I've never seen any one who was terrified of dirt before.”

Him be so fearfully terrified of every wee lil thing. Him scared of water, but him more afreads of being dirty.”

How does someone so terrified of water, bathe so much?”

Ya know one of tings what makes me Elf good sex partner?”

I doubt if I want to know, but I'm sure that won't stop you from telling me.”

Him very clean.”

What's that have to do with it?”

A clean anus makes for better sex. Anal sex be painful for the bottom iffy his bottom not clean. Hims bottom be very clean.”

There now, you see, I knew I didn't want to know.”

GhoulSpawn watched Quaraun. The Moon Elf was beyond beautiful and GhoulSpawn found himself desiring to lay with him, more and more.

I sometimes think him gets as much pleisance out of cleaning himself, as he does out of sex.”

Unicorn, I really and truly do wish the two of you would stop flaunting your sexuality in front of me."

Does we do that?”

You're doing it right now.”

Is we?”

Unicorn, look at him.”

Quaraun was standing fully naked in the water. He'd finished bathing himself a half hour ago. With one hand the albino Elf stood holding a sponge over his head, letting the water squeeze out of it, raining down on his breasts, running down his stomach, and trickling over his erect dick, with the other hand he was sensually rubbing himself, sliding his hand across his smooth chest, stopping to tease his hard pink nipples, before slowly sliding down his belly to masturbate himself. He has his head back and his eyes closed, moaning to his own touch.

I is looking at him.”

Unicorn reached into his own robes and began jerking himself off as he watched the Elf touching himself.

Yeah, I can see that. You're both gonna be spurting soon and neither of you are even near each other. Look at what he's doing. That is not bathing. That's showing off to get you chasing after him when he gets out. He's putting on a damned performance on your account. He's knows you're watching him and he knows what it's doing to you. That's why he's doing it. He's a damn whore.”

Aye. I is aware of that be what him doing. I educated him on how the best way to does it, eh? Him wonderfully obedient lil slut. Him love whoring himself to me. Him used to do this kind of move for BoomFuzzy. Back than I had access to me candy shop. I could get him to stand in vat of melted chocolate and him rub it all over himself, then I eat off of him. I got to lick every inch of that delightful body, feeling him squirm and wiggle beneath me. Him knew I was Elf Eater, him let me claw his flesh to make him bleed. Chocolate coated Elf blood, there is nothing like it.”

Your sick, Unicorn.”

Is I?”

Listen to yourself.”

~From "GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun Series)


Quaraun doesn't shave. He's an Elf. And as he puts it: A High Elf, not a Common Elf. Thus he has no facial hair to shave. His body is described as hairless.

He has his super long hair, and as Unicorn puts it "his balls are covered in apricot fuzz", but the rest of his body is hairless. There are scenes where he paints on his eyebrows, indicating he has none. There are scenes where he is gluing feathers to his eyelids, indicating he has no eyelashes either.

GhoulSpawn is described similarly... he being a half-Elf. However, from the waist down, GhoulSpawn is a sheep, and his lower body and legs are covered in thick, shaggy wool, that is described as being thick, curly, 6 inches long, and the texture of Cotswold Wool. He also has hooves instead of feet and there are scenes of him polishing, cleaning, and trimming his hooves.

Unicorn, is described as being covered in thick black hair, that is turned grizzled grey with age.

Quaraun stats in several stories that he finds a hair covered body exotic and attractive, due to his coming from a race of hairless bodies. In the case of both Unicorn and GhoulSpawn, Quaraun ignored their initial advances. In both cases it was not until seeing them naking and descovering they had unusually hairy bodies, that Quaraun became lustfully attracted to them.

>>brushing your teeth,

It's the 1400s. No one did this yet.

>>doing your hair. 

Quaraun's hair is 4 feet long at the beginning of the series. Later in the series it is 12 feet long. Doing his hairs takes 3 to 5 hours each and every day.

I am someone with bum length hair in real life, I know from experience the amount of hours it takes to care for super long hair. I've had dreadlocks since 2013 (so 5 years as of 2018) and it takes 2 hours to wash my bum length dreadlocks, and 8 hours to dry them. Before my hair was dreaded, it took 2 to 3 hours to brush it smooth every morning.

GhoulSpawn's hair, which is neon yellow and glows in the dark (because he's a Demon) comes down to his waist and while requires quite a bit of care, is far more maganable then Quaraun's hair.

Unicorn likes to brag that he has not brushed his hair in 2,000 years. Unicorn, has massive dread locks, which are longer then GloulSpawn's hair, but not nearly as long as Quaraun's hair. Unicorn's hair is bum length, and other then washing it from time to time,, he does absolutely nothing with it.

>>You'll probably spending a decent chunk of every day of your life looking in a mirror to see if how you want to present yourself matches how others will see you.

>>Every morning, fully naked. And I always write down this description of myself and show it to everyone I meet during the day, just so they know.

You know, I'm gonna have to write a scene where Quaraun does this. Or rather, Unicorn. Unicorn is likely to do this sort of thing to make fun of Quaraun's cleanliness habits.

Unicorn is likely to not describe himself, but rather describe Quaraun and then hand descriptions out to everyone they meet.

Now to figure out which story to add this to..

>>Maybe this is why I find Tolkien and much fantasy to be mind-numbing descriptions of settings and people that have little to do with moving the story along. If I want visuals then I will watch a movie.

I tried reading Tolkien once. I made it to the 24 page long song, being sung by the Hobbits who were dancing on the table. And I barely made it that far, because I first had to slog through pages describing the Shire first, pages describing the Hobbestes, and the only thing that kept me moving forward were the pages describing a grey wizard...

I put up with the descriptions because I kept telling myself somewhere along the line the story would start... but tat 24 page long poem was the killer. I wanted to get to the story, and after 40 pages of description, instead of starting the story he threw a 24 page long song in.

>>Why stop at the nose? There are cheekbones, temples, shoulders, and elbows you could also be describing.

You know... years ago, I used to do this. And it was only as little as ten years ago, that I wrote an article advising writers to do exactly that! The article is still out there if you want to read it.

But in that article I actually advocated taking every single body part of your character and writing a 5 page long description of it.

So, the goal was to write 5 pages describing their nose, 5 pages describing their cheekbones, 5 pages describing their shoulders, etc.

Funny thing was some people took that to mean, then put those 5 pages in your story. People once in a while read that article then email me and say: "That's bad advice!"... but those complainers actually did not read the full article or they would have also seen, the part where I said to do this as a writing exercise to cure writer's block, to build a character profile, to help YOU figure out who your character is. It was not advice to write those things as scene for your story.

In actual story writing, you rarely see me include descriptions at all.

>>Let the reader use their imagination.

And this is why.

>>Why bother with gender?

I do feel gender is important, at least in my own stories, because the characters live in a time when males dominate and females are deeply prejudiced against. The main character being a transvestite, a man who dresses like a woman, means he's constantly running up against people who treat him like a worthless, good for nothing female, often without realizing he iis male. Some once learning he is male, stop treating him like shit, but most upon discovering he is male dressed as female, lash out on him tens times worse.

So in the case of my own series, gender is important to the plot.

I have however read stories where you never know the characters' gender, and if done well, it's a very fascinating thing to read because you the reader are left not knowing what to think anyone is.

If you want to read this well done, I highly recommend Sanctuary, a Science Fiction novel about a crew of 3 men, who crash land on a planet that shuns gender roles and the 3 men never know if they are talking to men or women. It's a fascinating concept.

>>Why bother with age?

My main character, Quaraun, doesn't know how old he is and neither does the reader. Only in the flashback novel, BoomFuzzy, is he given a definite age. At 9 he witnesses his mother murdered. Shortly after he is kidnapped by priests for torture him as part of a cult ritual to train young and unwilling boys into wizards. At 35 he kills the priests and finds his way back home. He casts off his wizard training because he never wanted to be a wizard and becomes a tailor. At 75 his lover commits suicide, Quaraun finds the body, and Quaraun's mind snaps, resulting in him spending the next 100 years perfecting becoming a Necromancer, then at age 175 he murders his sister-wife and the 4 children he had with her, to put their souls in an ice golem that he uses to resurrect his dead lover.

In Night of the Screaming Unicorn, readers are told that it has now been 300 years since he murdered his wife and children, making him now 475.

The rest of the series takes place in the years following Night of the Screaming Unicorn, but never again is specific about how old Quaraun is, again, until the two part story in Zebulon's Captive and My Two Favorite People, which state that Quaraun is now 750 years old. Quaraun is murdered shortly after this, thus the reader knows he lived 750 years.

The bulk of the 130 novels that make up the series take place between his being 450 and 750 without ever telling the reader which story happens in which year.


Again, as with gender, ethnicity plays important plot roles in the series. Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn are all Gypsies of various types and get a lot of bigoted flack from other characters because of this.

>>Body type?

Not as important to the series, but readers are told body types on some level.

For example, readers know that Quaraun is very short and that this bothers him. Quaraun is 5'6" tall. He also lives in Maine, where men are all well over 6' tall. 

In the series, you see Quaraun, constantly overshadowed by men who are 2 or 3 full heads taller then he is. He barely comes up to the shoulders of most men around him.

He's also a little hellfire that won't take shit from the 6 foot tall bullies.

Quaraun was suddenly jolted awake by a loud noise. He looked around wondering where he was, then remembered Mallac and the map. 

Mallac had slammed his fist on the table and was now yelling angrily at Quaraun.

Elwin now had a stranglehold on Quaraun's neck and was crying frantically, terrified of the screaming soldier.

"Shhhhhh," Quaraun hushed the toddler, stroking his hair and rocking back and forth. "It's alright. Ignore the crazy Human." To Mallac he said: "You're scaring the child."

"You refuse to stay awake!"

"I've been awake for the past 7 days. I need some sleep."

"You have a job to do."

"No, Mallac. You do! You have a job to do and you're too damned lazy to do it yourself so you're trying to pass it off on me instead."

"It is your responsibility..."

"I am not one of your soldiers," Quaraun said as he set Elwin on the seat and stood up to yell back at the soldier who was yelling at him. "I don't take orders from you. I didn't mind helping, because you were in trouble, but you are taking advantage of that. You have no right to boss me around. I'm not one of your men!"

Elwin was crying frantically now. Seeing Quaraun arguing with the solider, scared the little boy who clambered to Unicorn and was now hugging the Phooka's neck. Poor Elwin was traumatized more then any of them realized. He had just witnessed his mother murdered by an angry yelling man, and did not want to see yet another murder.

Mallac continued yelling at Quaraun.

"You're scaring the boy," Quaraun yelled back at the soldier.

"I don't know why you bother fussing over that child. He ain't nothing but an ingrate half-Elf."

"I am fed up with the way you arrogant, piss ant Humans treat the half-Elves around here!"

Mallac opened his mouth to respond, but before he could get a word out Quaraun punched him in the face, throwing every bit of his tiny five foot six inch body into the punch. Mallac, not expecting the Elf to attack him, was easily knocked off balance. The soldier went tumbling to the floor. Unicorn stood up, carrying the child and looking back and forth from Quaraun to each of the soldiers. He knew that punch was about all the fight Quaraun had in him. Should the rest of the Humans decide to defend their leader and attack Quaraun, he didn't stand a chance. 

But none of the Humans did anything. In fact, they looked like they were about to drop their weapons and run.

"That barmaid were right," Unicorn said to Quaraun.

"Gi'me, Elwin," Quaraun said as took the child from Unicorn.

Mallac was sprawled on the floor holding his nose and looking like he was about to start crying.

"I don't like bullies," Quaraun said to Mallac. "And I especially don't like grown men who pick on innocent children. You people in this town ought to be ashamed of yourselves. If the half-Elves are rising up to kill you all, well, then it's because you damned well deserve it. What is wrong with you people? I didn't come here to be pushed around by you. I came here to rest. I'm wounded and need to heal. It's terrible what is happening to your people, but it's not my responsibility to fix it, and from what I've seen it's your own damned fault. You treat the half-Elves like shit. They aren't being allowed to buy, sell, or trade. They are not being allowed to have jobs. When they go off by themselves, not bothering a damn one of you, what do you do? You murder their families and raze their farms. I've seen the half-Elf camps for myself. They are starving to death. They have no shelter. And winter is coming. You kill their livestock, destroy their crops, burn down their houses, simply because you don't like the colour of their blood. Then you complain because they are forced to steal food to survive. You brought this uprising on yourselves, and now you want me to clean up your damned mess? I'm not here to do your job for you. Had I not gotten wounded, I wouldn't even be here at all and you'd be stuck doing this all on your own."

With the orphan half-Elf toddler still in one arm, Quaraun took a map of the town and laid it out on the table. He began marking where each murder had occurred.

~From "The Summoner of Darkness" (Volume 11 of The Quaraun Series)

Perhaps in most novel's a character's body type is not important. But we seen in the Quaraun series, time and time again, Quaraun being pushed around by men bigger then he is and him trying to ignore it, but then as in the case of the scene above, him finally getting fed up with it. In that particular scene, readers have already seen Mallac, a man described as being 6'2" tall, spend the past 7 days hounded Quaraun, largely because Quaraun is small and easy to push around. Quaraun spends the first 7 days, not putting up much of a protest to the bully, at first thinking if he agreed to help Mallac, the situation would quickly blow over. 

However, seeing that Quaraun takes orders easily, Mallac sudden;y start taking advantage of that. And in the pages leading up to this scene, he begins to tease Quaraun about his lack of height, calling him short on many occasions and making an issue about Quaraun's being to small to stand up to anyone.

Being a stranger in the town, not planning to stay very long, and not wishing to start trouble. Quaraun keeps his mouth shut and tries to ignore the soldier's words, but in private, when alone with Unicorn, he expresses his hurt and frustration over how Mallac is treating him. In the scene above where he finally has had enough, his outburst is triggered, not by Mallac attacking his height, but rather by Mallac's bad mouthing a 3 year old boy who had hours earlier witnessed his mother's brutal murder. However, in this scene, the reader is reminded of the fact that Quaraun is 5 feet, 6 inches tall, and that, though he's reacting over one thing, he's fueled by another. He's protecting the child, but he's also still pissed over what Mallac had earlier said about his height.

This is why you see the phrase:

"Mallac opened his mouth to respond, but before he could get a word out Quaraun punched him in the face, throwing every bit of his tiny five foot six inch body into the punch. Mallac, not expecting the Elf to attack him, was easily knocked off balance."

The reader does not need to be told how tall Quaraun is, as the reader already knows how tall he is. It has been said previously in the story. In this scene, this line is added, not to show his height, but rather to remind the reader that Quaraun is still mad at Mallac for having called him short the night before.

This is a case where describing body type then becomes important to the plot and is not there to describe the character's appearance, but rather is there to show how the character is feeling.

Now, perhaps, you might say that assigning a character's height is unnecessary. And indeed, that is what this commenter is suggesting when they said:

>>Why stop at the nose? There are cheekbones, temples, shoulders, and elbows you could also be describing. Let the reader use their imagination. Why bother with gender? Why bother with age? Ethnicity? Body type? Hell, why bother even establishing if they're human or not? Those are impediments putting your characters into a box. They could just as easily be formless titles with the reader throwing in the rest.

Indeed, we could do that. We could avoid descriptions completely...

...but have you ever talked to a man who was 5'6" tall? 

When a man is short, especially, when a man is considerably short to the point that children are often taller then he is, as is the case with Quaraun, he will be quick to tell you that height is very important, because it causes people to treat him different.

Men under 5'10 often report being pushed around and bullied by bigger men, while being passed up and ignored by beautiful women. They will tell you finding dates becomes more difficult, the shorter a man us. If a short man is interested in sports, he's left to watch as a spectator, not even allowed to try out for the team because of height requirements. What happens when his friends head to the amusement park and all the rides say you must be so tall, and the marker is over his head, leaving him on the ground while his friends enjoy the ride?

Quaraun's being short has a horrible effect on his self esteem. He often feels excluded, unloved, and unwanted, and blames his being short on his not being able to fit in.

In one story there is a scene, where he states that he started dressing like a woman because he found that at his very short height, he had a better chance of being including if men thought he was a woman. Readers are left to wonder if Quaraun were a normal height, would he also not be a transvestite?

Now, you can say, that I've written Quaraun to be overly dramatic and that real short men are not that upset over their height...

But then on Quora we find this:

Interesting… is that statistic new? In the 1980s anyone under 5′10″ in America was considered short. 5′7″ is quite short. There are also no men in my family under 6′2″

Are we tall in Maine? I’m a 5′6″ female I’m VERY short, most women around here are 5′8″ or more, and most men are 6′2″ or more. A 5′6″ male would be the same height as me and thus he’s be INCREEDLY TINY! Child sized. Most 10 year olds are taller then that. But reading these posts, sounds like maybe a regional thing?

I'm a woman 5'6" and EVERYONE, men, women, AND children are taller than me.

You are hard pressed to find a child not 5'6" by the time they are 10, a woman under 5'8" and a man under 6'.

My partner, is 5'10" and I'm with him largely because he is short. At 5'10" he is often picked on and bullied by other men in the area, because he is so very short.

Quaraun at 5'6" is incredibly tiny, by comparison to men in Maine.

But were he Mexican or Asian, his height would be normal, or so the men of Quora and Reddit say...

Here on Reddit we see these comments:

All three main characters get their height mentioned.

As short as Quaraun is, he can often be heard saying he likes spending time with Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, because it makes him feel tall. 

Well, you know right there that if a 5'6" tall man feels tall around someone else, that means the someone else is TINY.

King Gwallmaiic, Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, or just Unicorn for short, is one of the shortest characters in the series, measuring in at only 5'1"

Other short characters in the series include Roderic at 5'4" and his son Etiole at 5'3".

The shortest male of the series however is FarDarrig at 4'8".

With the lone exception of GhoulSpawn, you will notice that Quaraun has a tendency to befriend men who are shorter then he himself is.

GhoulSpawn, towers over Quaraun, and while his exact height is never said, it is stated many times that most Humans fear GhoulSpawn for his ungainly height. And as many Humans in the series are said to be 6 feet tall or more, the reader can then safely assume that GhoulSpawn is somewhere in the range of being about 6'4"

While one of the tallest men in the series, GhoulSpawn is not the tallest, as Luke stands at 6'8" and Crown Prince Talska ranks as the tallest male in the series, standing 7'2" tall.

And back to this comment...

>>Why stop at the nose? There are cheekbones, temples, shoulders, and elbows you could also be describing. Let the reader use their imagination. Why bother with gender? Why bother with age? Ethnicity? Body type? Hell, why bother even establishing if they're human or not? Those are impediments putting your characters into a box. They could just as easily be formless titles with the reader throwing in the rest.


>>Body type?

Height is only one aspect of Quaraun's body type. And if you are a fan of the series, you know all to well, that as much as being short bothers him, there is something else about his body, that upsets him far more...

The scars.

If you are not familiar with the series, in the novel BoomFuzzy, is a scene known as "The Hanging Tree".

Before you read any further, I should probably add a note here, that I write CBT Yaoi Horror Gorn Fantasy.

That's cock and ball torture that's VERY extreme.

Very taboo Erotica that focuses on brutally torturing a man for the sake of exciting the readers.

You've been warned....

What happens is this:

Quaraun comes from a culture that outlaws same sex couples and is hiding that fact that he has a male lover. When he is accused of bedding with other males, he does not deny it and openly admits to having sex with other men, not realizing that this will incit his accusers into an angry mob, that next strips him naked, drags him to the center of town and publically tortures him, with most of the village coming forward to join in.

The infamous highly detail, incredibly grizzly scene that got the series banned off followed, as one Elf, pulled out a knife and forces it up into Quaraun's penis, then ripped the knife in a backward motion, slicing Quaraun's penis completely in half, leaving behind a scar known as "a sub penal incision". Following this Elf's example, other village slash Quaraun, belly, thighs, and groin with knives, leaving him horribly scarred for life.

When they finished torturing him, Quaraun is left for dead, his bloody remains used as bait to capture The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley.

Unknown to the Elves however is the fact that it was the Elf Eater himself who is Quaraun's lover, and upon discovering what the Elves did to Quaraun, the Elf Eater slaughtered the Moon Elves, then takes Quaraun and spends the next several months nursing the dying Elf back to health. Quaraun eventually recovered, but he is left with a crippled leg, severe PTSD, rampant phobia that cripple his ability to function in society, and the horrific scars that he often bemoans.

Quaraun's mutilated penis, leaves him with self esteem issues far above and beyond any caused by his being short.

Quaraun is bi-sexual, having both male and female lovers, but after the attack, he rarely has sexual intercourse with anyone, citing that doing so is both embarrassing and painful for him.

As previously stated, Quaraun is incredibly beautiful and women are constantly throwing themselves at him... and then I told you how, he'll just as easily fuck her on one page then cut her head off on the next.... here's why...

Quaraun, will have sex with women who approach him asking to do so, but almost no one is aware of his scars, or his badly mutilated penis. And most women, once they see this, are quick to no longer desire him. Many are quick to tease him or cide him. If the woman simply says she changed her mind and leaves quietly, that's be the end of it. But when a woman laughs at him, or worse teases him he's quick to pull a knife on her, rape her, then slit her throat.

And thus yet again,we see that descriptions of body type become important to the story. Knowing that Quaraun is scared and mutilated, that he goes to great extreme to keep this hidden, and knowing that otherwise he is highly sought after gorgeous beauty, shows the reader the duel side of his personality.

Quaraun loves the company of women. He is often seen sitting in taverns with multiple prostitutes on his lap and in his arms. He's quick to dote on beautiful women, buying them gifts, hugging and kissing them... but he's also just as quick to push them away should their hand stray to reach for his cock. He's quick to pay prostitutes to lay in bed with him, and NOT have sex with him.

The reader, knowing about his scars, knowing how badly his penis is damaged, knows why he does these things, he loves women, he loves being with women, he desires to fuck women, but he also fears women, and won't let them see him naked, won't let them touch him, and refuses to fuck them, resulting in his often being hurt by the women then calling him arrogate, when in fact, he's very shy.

While the women in the story do not understand is strange sexless nature, the reader, having already be told, knows why Quaraun acts as he does. But had the description of his mutilated genitals not been there, the reader would be as clueless as the women in the story.

But this commenter said:

>>Body type?

And by body type people often mean something like:

  • fat 
  • thin 
  • athletic 
  • chubby 
  • beefy 
  • anorexic 
  • obese
  • average
  • pear shaped

Rarely does someone say body type and mean tall or short or scars or not.

In my own books you rarely see these sorts of descriptions, unless it becomes important.

For example, in The Obsidian Idol of The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, we have the story when Quaraun and Unicorn's lover's spat fighting, gets out of control, the two becoming very violent towards one another, resulting in Quaraun, letting his villainous nature show, when he plots to murder Unicorn, and then carries out that plot, nearly killing his long time lover.

Terrified that Quaraun will try again and succeed at killing him, Unicorn leaves. Runs away, and we see one of the brief periods of the series where stories exist with Quaraun alone, without Unicorn with him.

At first this seems like it does not fit what we are talking about... however... Unicorn is highly suicidal and in every single novel he is in, there is always a suicide scene where he kills himself. Being a Lich, he always resurrects the next day. 

After the lovers break up, Unicorn become more depressed and more suicidal than ever. His inability to kill himself and stay dead, makes him even more depressed, resulting in him going to extremes to try to find ways to kill himself and stay dead.

After they break up, the next time the reader sees Unicorn is in the novel The Vulgar Alchemist Inn, where, Quaraun, GeaLuna, and Bullgaar set out looking for Unicorn, and find him in a horrific state. Several years have passed between Obsidian Idol and Vulgar Alchemist,, and in that entire time, Unicorn has refused to eat anything, in an attempt to starve himself to death.

This becomes one of the few times you see a character body type description in the series. Unicorn is here described as skeletal, his flesh and muscles melted away, his skin clinging to his bones, a horrific side effect of his having not eaten anything in the past 3 years. But he, being a Lich, is still alive. But humger has also driven him mad and this skeleton like monster rises up and attacks his friends. It's the first time in the series when the read sees the Lich, turn into a blue flaming skeleton, revealing to them all that a skeleton is in fact the Lich's true form and everything else was just illusions.

This skeleton is seen on the cover art of GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover, another volume in witch Unicorn's skeletal body type is described.

While never described in detail or narrative, one can make assumptions about Quaraun's figure, by reading Unicorn's dialogue.

Early in the series when Quaraun is young, Unicorn makes statements like "You need to eat more" often telling Quaraun you could stand to gain a few pounds" or "here eat another cake, you need to fat on your bones".

These early novels clue the reader in on the fact that Quaraun is thin, skinny, and possably underweight... or at least Unicorn thinks so.

You also hear Unicorn say he likes "plump Elves" and you see him making lewd, lust filled, highly sexual remarks to overweight women, indicating he likes his lovers to be on the heavier side, which also tells the reader that while Unicorn thinks Quaraun is too skinny, it's possible that Quaraun is in fact not skinny at all, seeing how Unicorn prefers fatter sex partners.

In the later novels of the series when Quaraun is older, you see that over time Quaraun's body has changed, because Unicorn begins to refer to Quaraun has "chubby" and having "luscious curves", cluing the reader in to the fact that as he go older, Quaraun gained weight.

How much Quaraun weight is never said, and if he actually ever is fat or skinny is also never stated. You only ever see Unicorn's statements, and anyone who reads the series, knows how little trust they can put in anything a Trickster Fae like Unicorn says.

Only twice in the series do you ever see a description of Quaraun's body, and again, this is because it is important to the plot. In the two parl story that makes up Zebulon's Captive and My Two Favourite People, we see Quaraun captured by slave traders and sold to an Elf Breeding farm where at first he is treated well, but his refusal to breed with the females given to him, results in his receiving progressively harsher treatment until eventually he is beaten by Zebulon, in a drunk rage.

Quaraun, now 750 years old, is very weak, an elderly Elf that has lived far past the typical 500 year lifespan of Elves. His body is physically weak, his metabolism malfunctioning, and the old Elf is no longer able to withstand much of a beaten.

Depressed, and now living shackled in chains in a cage barely big enough for him  to either stand or lay down in, Quaraun begins refusing to eat. As the months move forward the reader now sees descriptions telling them, that yes indeed, as he got older he did become overweight, but now, refusing to eat and with his ancient organs no longer functioning properly, he starts losing weight rapidly.

Quaraun is Zebulon's captive for a grueling 70 years, before finally escaping and finding his way back to his own time. Once reunited to Unicorn, the reader sees conflicting descriptions, of a young, healthy, plumper Quaraun, that they know, simply does not exist, as Quaraun is now using glimmer spells and illusions to hide from Unicorn what he looks like after so many decades enslaved by Zebulon.

Unicorn immediately realizes something is wrong, because Quaraun now looks younger and healthier then the had in centuries.

In this case once again, describing these changes in appearance are important to the plot, thus you see them described.

>>Hell, why bother even establishing if they're human or not?

Racism is a dominant theme in the Quaraun series, with Elves, Humans, Half-Elves, Faeries, and Demons at constant odds with one another. Knowing who is what, becomes important to the plot.

>>Those are impediments putting your characters into a box.

Yes. And that box is a little thing with authors like to call a plot and a storyline.

>>They could just as easily be formless titles with the reader throwing in the rest.

I read a book like this once. It fell flat.

>>I totally misread that as "formless titties".


>>I'm reading a book at the moment with little character description, but I can tell you that the main character has a small chicken pox scar on her left cheek that she plays with when she's nervous.

>>To me, that provides more insight into the character than a detailed description of hair/eye colour, etc. It's something memorable and personal to that character.

I agree with this, which is why, I focus more on habits then physical descriptions.

A roll of the eyes says more then the eyes being a certain colour.

I also realize that readers are often quick to forget lengthy descriptions. 

If you open the book, describing the character then never mention what they look like again, you end up with the reader forgetting what they look like anyways.

This is why you don't see me writing the lengthy descriptions at all, and instead see constant reminders of important features.

Ket's for example, go to The Night of The Screaming Unicorn, and see how many times the reader is told that Quaraun has blue eyes...

Page 16:

Quaraun was a Moon Elf and every inch of him was whiter than the whitest driven snow: white skin, white hair, even his eyes were the palest white-blue eyes you'd ever seen, so light you could hardly tell they were not white as well. His hair was the purest white and spilled like a silken waterfall over his shoulders, to his waist, and down to his knees. In the sunlight his glorious locks glinted with silver and blue gleaming like opals.

Page 57:

Quaraun turned back to face the dark Faerie, his blue eyes widened by the sudden realization what the Phooka had in mind.

Page 64:

The Phooka jumped forward again and was now nose to nose with Quaraun once again. Looking deep into Quaraun's pale icy blue, pink pupiled eyes, searching for the truth behind the illusion.

Page 72:

"No, this is true. Ya did no. Ya svá did no tell me you name. Flesh warping Necromancer Elf from the Deep Far North, wid opaline skin as pale and luminescent as the moon, eyes blue as the frozen glaciers of the North Sea, and women's robes as pinks as lovely roses. Folks whose bodies vanished without a trace. A lot of Elves went missing, did they not? Do ya reanimate the dead?"

Page 87:

Quaraun had been looking out the window until he heard the Phooka jumping around on the furniture and turned to see a strange looking Elf standing uncomfortably close to him. He was dressed like a wizard, in dark brown chocolate coloured velvet robes, with a cockscomb hat of the same material perched on his head. At a first glance, the man looked like any other Moon Elf, with his pure white skin and hair that made him blend in with the snow. Until that is, one looked at his eyes. Moon Elves all had pale icy blue eyes. This Elf's black eyes had no whites and no iris, and were like staring into two black bottomless pits. And his hair. Moon Elves all had stick straight, silken smooth, silvery white hair. But this Elf had a wild mess of unbrushed frizzy braids and dreadlocks that were stuck full of bones, feathers, beads, ribbons, and twigs. There was also the issue of his piranha-like fangs, and the huge, fearsomely, sharp eagle talons which tipped each finger. Quaraun gasped and stepped away, for the creature had turned himself into the long dead candy making Moon Elf, BoomFuzzy.

~From "The Night of The Screaming Unicorn" (Volume 1 of The Quaraun Series)

I just used the find.replace feature to search the manuscript of the finished book, and we find that Quaraun's blue eyes have been described Five times.

Now, let's look in BoomFuzzy and see how many times his blue eyes are described there...

Page 40:

Moon Elves all had pale icy blue eyes. BoomFuzzy's black eyes had no whites and no iris, and were like staring into two black bottomless pits. And his hair. Moon Elves all had stick straight, silken smooth, silvery white hair. But BoomFuzzy had a wild mess of unbrushed frizzy braids and dreadlocks that were stuck full of bones, feathers, beads, ribbons, and twigs. There was also the issue of his piranha-like fangs, and the huge, fearsomely, sharp black eagle talons which tipped each finger. A Human, a Gnome, or a Dwarf might have mistaken him for an Elf, even other Elves might have passed him off as a half-Elf, but Quaraun was a wizard. A powerful wizard. And he could sense strong magic around this un-Elf. Faerie Glamour. There was no doubt in Quaraun's mind that this was a shape shifting Trickster Fae.

Page 46:

Then BoomFuzzy slide his hands down Quaraun's back stopping to grasp a tight grip on his hips, holding the Elf in place while he humped on him like a dog in heat. Quaraun was too flustered to know how to respond. The last thing he had expected was for BoomFuzzy to hump against him like that. BoomFuzzy laughed and let go of Quaraun, then backed away from him.

"Ya has such pretty blue eyes. Ha! ha! Yis in shock over me ain't ya."

"You... your... very bold."

"And ya very pretty."

"What are you?"

Page 93:

“Why should I believe you?”

“Because ya is hurt. And I feel bad yis hurt. I feel bad that I hurt ya before. I will no hurt ya again.”

"Have you drunk it before?"

"Aye. I'll drink it now, if it helps ya feel safe. We can both be out of the loop together."

BoomFuzzy took the mug from the Elf and drank half of it himself, then handed it back to Quaraun.

"There. Now we'll both see strange things."

Quaraun stared at BoomFuzzy. His pink-veined blue eyes were wide with fear. He looked back down at the drink. His teeth were really hurting. The pain shot from his jaw to his head, like a hammer was knocking him in the face over and over again. Quaraun drank the drink and handed the mug back to BoomFuzzy.

"Ya gonna want to lay down. It's gonna do weird things to ya head. I is gonna want to lay down. It gonna do weird things to my head. Ooooh. That ought to be fun. Us in bed together with weird things happening to our heads. Ha ha!"

Before Quaraun had a chance to think about it, BoomFuzzy, grabbed the Elf and tossed him onto the bed, then leapt onto the bed beside him, and began passionately kissing the Elf all over his body, in between tickling him.

Page 151:

Quaraun's icy white blue eyes were cold. Empty. Completely devoid of any emotion. They were not the kind eyes of an Elf, but the empty emotionless eyes of a Thullid. Quaraun was not an Elf, not any more. BoomFuzzy had said it many times before, but BeaLuna didn't want to believe it. Quaraun was dead. He'd been dead a long time. A Thullid had taken up residence in his body, infesting him, infecting him, when he was just 3 years old, and eventually devouring his brain and replacing it with it's own brain. Quaraun the Elf had died centuries ago, at the young age of only 9 years old, and all that remained was the empty husk that was reanimated by the tiny pink jellyfish living in the dead Elf's hallowed out skull. Looking into Quaraun's emotionless dead eyes, you knew something was wrong with him. Quaraun was nothing but the long dead corpse of an Elf whose body had become the home of an alien sea creature. Quaraun had become someone else. He had become a Thullid. 

~From "BoomFuzzy" (Volume 3 of The Quaraun Series)

And so here we find Quaraun's eyes described as blue, four times.

And how many times can we find Quaraun's blue eyes in Swamp of death?

Page 64:

Most people, upon meeting the duo shrunk in fear from the wild haired Phooka with his fearsome piranha like fangs and huge razor sharp black eagle-taloned claws. And yet most people felt safe in the presence of the calm, friendly looking albino wizard, with smooth silken white hair, and icy silvery pale light blue eyes.

But to fear the Phooka and trust the Elf would have been foolish folly, for the Phooka was more or less harmless. Usually. He talked a good show and could be very fierce and menacing if he wanted to be, but it was often a bluff, as Unicorn was a peaceful creature who only killed for food. Usually. There were times, when he reverted back to his current true form, that of a Lich horse, and froze everyone around him in a Lich-crazed fury, for buried deep in Unicorn’s soul, was the Lich that Quaraun was struggling to keep under control: The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, leader of the Lich Lord’s and all that remained of Quaraun’s former lover, BoomFuzzy. 

Page 90:

"Haha! Do ya know," the Vampire continued. "That ya are absolutely most beautiful thing We has ever seen."

"Yes, everyone keeps telling me that. That's the problem of being an Elf. Eternal beauty and everyone, everywhere wants to fuck you because of it. Eternal beauty is a curse. Everyone, everywhere I go wants to fuck me. Humans especially! I've got young Human girls tossing themselves in my lap everywhere I go. Do you have any idea how many times I've had a Human fling herself on me and introduce herself by saying how much she loves my blue eyes and wants to have my babies? And I don't even like women! And men are always wanting to fuck me too. Though most of them, usually keep it to themselves. It’s very annoying.”

“That they keep it to themselves?”

“That they want to fuck me.”

“We want to fuck ya.”

“Like I said. Everyone, everywhere I go.”

Page 90 & 91:

“I'm scarred.”

“That scar is always gonna bother ya, isn't it?”

“My body would be flawless without it.”

“Most Necromancers are old un hideous. Corrupt they bodies as well as they souls. Flesh Warpers. Do no do that. Yis much too pretty for it. Un damn, ya really DO have most amazing blue eyes. We does'na tinks We ever noticed that before. Never twere able to see ya eyes. They are bluer then clear blue cloudless sky. We tinks We’ll agree with Human girls, if We twere woman, We would be wanting lots of babies by ya too, so they all could all have yar blue eyes."

"I'm not sure if I should be scared of you or thank you for the complement."

"Maybe ya should let me fuck ya un find out."

Quaraun stared down at the drink he'd been drinking, which the Vampire had stopped refilling now that he was more absorbed in sniffing Quaraun's hair and licking his neck. The Vampire had a distinctive scent of cinnamon and cloves and gingerbread to him. Quaraun was beginning to feel very, very strange. He looked up at the room. It twisted and swirled out of place. The patrons in the tavern flickered on and off light candles trying not to blow out. The only thing that wasn't moving and twisting out of shape was the Vampire across from him at the table. It was only then that Quaraun realized the table, the floor, the building, and even the people wandering around the inn were   made out of gingerbread.



“BoomFuzzy. He was an Illusionist. He made his illusions out of gingerbread.”

“Ya seeing gingerbread? Ya ain't had drink in smiggin oov ah wee bit, eh?”

"This place isn't real."

"Seeing that are ya? Maybe ya need more to drink."

Quaraun looked down at his drink. It was now orange with blue polka dots.

"What is this drink?"

"Angelic Ecstasy Ambrosia. They say that once ya drink it, ya become addicted to it. Yis aboot on yar 30th glass in last few hours. Un ya, me pretty wee lil Elf, ya've been sitting here drinking it for days now. Yis aboot ready to just fly to moon."

"What is in it?"

"No one knows."

"You're a Faerie aren't you? This is Fae food. You drugged me."

The Vampire flashed a wild Cheshire cat grin. "Brouhaha! Wooooooh oooh oooh! Haha! Hehe, ha haha! Oh, aye, We most certainly did. Poison frogs, hallucinogenic chocolate cloustered undead apricots, un psychedelic mushrooms are somewhat of speciality of mine.”



“Why are you doing this?”

“Because ya did something fucking bad un ya forgot what it twere.”

Page 97 & 98:

The Vampire felt Quaraun struggling beneath him as he continued to feed on the Elf's warm blood. The Vampire's eyes closed as the hot thick red liquid filled his mouth, sliding down his throat. After a few moment the Vampire released Quaraun licking the last of the blood from the Elf's wound. Quaraun fell back against the bed releasing the tension on his bindings. His body was covered in a fine sheen of sweat. His breathing had turned quick and shallow. 

"Ya taste wonderful," he cooed in Quaraun's ear. "Yar flavour is like fine wine, succulent, addictive un oh so delectably sweet. Yar beautiful opal white skin un whisper blue eyes." 

The Vampire crawled up the length of the Elf's body and sat straddling his chest. Naked together they were an impressive sight and the Vampire took the time to admire the image they created. Lovingly the Vampire reached out and caressed the Elf's face. Quaraun shuddered at his touch pulling his cheek away. The Vampire caressed his face, running his hands down the Elf's neck lightening the touch until it was just the tips of his fingers moving across his collarbone and down along his chest. The Vampire could hear his heart beat and new the moment it increased in speed; the Vampire could sense the warming of his blood and felt it rushing through his veins.

"But ya still fear me. Ya really do'na have to. We seek pleasure from ya. We would not give me pleasure to watch ya die. Ya must try to believe We is na going to harm ya."

The Vampire straddled Quaraun's hips, lowered his cock down on top of him and ground it into his pubic hairs. The texture thrilled both men as they moaned in pleasure. Quaraun's breath became more ragged as his balls tightened. He groaned in mixed pleasure and fear when he felt a hot cock coming down and pressing on his now hard dick. The Vampire ground his groin hard against Quaraun's forcing their cocks to squish together. It felt as though the Vampire was holding his cock over an open flame. 

"That one of things We likes aboot ya. Ya has wonderful pair of balls. We is type of guy, who really has swinging ball fetish, We does'na care aboot penis size, as long as guy has swinging balls, un that is reason We likes ya. Me wee lil peach fuzzy apricot. Oh We has always like that aboot ya. We used to give ya drugged candied apricots to get ya in bed with me. Do ya remember that?"

The Vampire brought his face against Quaraun's so that they were nose to nose. He stared into the Elf's icy blue eyes though his dark chocolate eyes.

"We had ya addicted to apricots. That hows We got ya bed with me now. That wine ya has been drinking all night. It made with apricots. BoomFuzzy's special apricots. Off me special undead apricot trees. Yar so predictable Quaraun. Ya always fall hard for apricots."

~From "Quaraun and The Vampire Into The Swamp of Death" (Volume 8 of The Quaraun Series)

Seven times here.

I've done this, to show you how often I remind the reader of certain features of a character, and to show you that I don't use info dumps of just one big long description of the character at the beginning, either.

I find this method to be a much better way of describing a character's features, as it is done through the story, in the conversations and naraton, without stopping the story to have the character go look in a mirror and yap about themselves.

>>I feel like you can really paint a mental image of a character by describing a unique feature, something that stands out to the narrator, or just broad strokes. I like to know if a character has a big bushy lumberjack beard, or long hair down to their waist.

>>Sure. A unique feature like that strikes me as something that would be important. Other characters would react to it or it can tell readers something about the character.

>>I think each char should have a recognisable feature.

Yep, me too.

Quaraun has his mega long, floor sweeping Rapunzel hair, that trips him and everyone around him, while getting stuck in every tree branch, dragged through the mud, enemies easily catch him by grabbing his hair,....but he won't cut it because he's the world's most powerful wizard and he swears up and down that never having cut his hair is the source of his power.

His insanely long hair becomes so important to the plot that it almost becomes a character itself on it's own.

With the reader focused on his daily struggle to get through life as his hair continually gets longer and (eventually later in the series reaching 12 feet long) more and more un-manageable.

Showing what he looks like becomes unimportant, because this one feature about him, says more about who he is, then all the physical descriptions of his face, I could ever write.

"Will you stop touching me!" Quaraun yelled at Unicorn.

"No. I refuses to."

Quaraun had just finished brushing his twelve  foot long hair, an endeavour that took several hours, and was attempting to fold and pin it back up into the more manageable four foot length style he usually kept it in.

Unicorn, a little black furred trickster Faerie pony with a gleaming silver horn on his head, had decided it would be great fun to mess the Elf's hair back up. He had run up behind the Elf and twirled Quaraun's Rapunzel locks around his horn, but when he tried to run off afterwards, somehow got his horn stuck in Quaraun's impossibly long hair, which Quaraun was now trying to untangle.

“I canna move,” Unicorn whimpered mournfully, now regretting having messed with the Elf's hair.

“You shouldn't have stuck your horn in my hair.”

Unicorn shook his dreadlocked mane, trying to get his horn out of Quaraun's hair, but just made the tangled mess worse.

“Stop moving,” Quaraun snarled.

“Just grab some scissors and cut it.”

“I'm not cutting my hair! My father cut my hair. I'm never cutting my hair again.”

“Ya Daddy issues is becoming problem.”

“Shut up.”

“What ya gonna do in a few years when ya needs servants to carry ya hair?”

“It won't get that long.”

“No? It already long enough that ya always tripping on it. And ya canna sit down any more without making a fuss over where to puts ya hair otherwise ya can'na move iffy ya sits on it.”

Quaraun's pink pupiled blue eyes flashed with anger, as he continued, now silently to unwrap his hair from the pony's spiralled horn.

“Ya too easy for enemies to catch now. Ya wants to run away, all dey has to do is grab ya hair un then ya canna move.”

“I'm not cutting my hair.”

“Ya does nae have to cut it short. Just cut two or t'ree feet off of it.”

Unicorn wiggled again.

“Stop moving. You're making it worse.”

“Dis were bad idea.”


“Why did I do dis?”

“Because you're a nut.”

“I wants to run free. Galloping through the fields,” Unicorn moaned sadly.

“You could be if you hadn't been trying to annoy me.”

“It fun to annoys ya. Makes me horny unicorny.”

“Stop moving.”

“I can nots.”

"Stop it!"


"I'm gonna push you off a cliff," the pink Necromancer snarled.

"Oooooooooh!" the undead pony whinnied excitedly. "Go ahead. I ain't died by cliff death yet. Might be fun to die cliff death. Shatter me guts all over de rocks, let the birds feast on me entrails. Heck, let me know the next cliff ya sees un  I'll save ya the trouble un go jump off it meself. Goody, goody, goody, goody. A new way to die!"

Quaraun glared at the Unicorn, who right now was purple and had a mouthful of Quaraun's long white hair gripped firmly in his teeth, chewing on it as though it were hay.

~From "The Summoner of Darkness" (Volume 11 of The Quaraun Series)

>>I generally go by the rule of one paragraph for person, and maybe one for outfit. The idea is to make it easy for a reader to determine if they're in a description paragraph and to skip to the next if they're simply not interested.

>>In truth, I recognize descriptions are like the vast majority of sex scenes - they're really just in there for interested readers, and typically don't add much if anything to the characters or the story.

>>I generally go by the rule of one paragraph for person, and maybe one for outfit.

not when your main character is a drag queen (mine is) then you spend 2 or 3 pages of every chapter describing what he has changed into, because Quaraun is a germaphobe and changes his dresses a dozen or more times a day. (No, I'm not joking, I actually write these clothing change scenes in every single novel.)

I also describe the scenes of him putting on his make-up, because he's constantly doing that, to the point that it annoys the other characters.

His hair also touches the ground and he spends 3 hours every day brushing it, which stops the plot to a dead halt, every time he does, because those scenes are described as well.

It shows him as the most annoyingly, self-centered narcissist that he is, and leaves other people wondering how the hell did he become the most evil and most powerful Necromancer of all time, when he's too busy screaming over a broken nail to get anything done.

he also carries a bag of holding in which he keeps a full length mirror and he pulls it out every few pages to fuss over his feather boas.

Quaraun glared at Unicorn.

"I do not approve of assigning gender to clothes. Anybody ought to be able to wear whatever they damned well want to wear without being told only males or females are allowed to wear it. There is no damned reason why only females can wear dresses. Tighten this damned thing for me. I can't do it myself." 

The Elf lifted his long hair around his shoulder, off his back, while holding one hand over his chest holding the pink lace corset in place. Unicorn moved around behind the Elf and cinched up the laces tightly. 

"That tight enough?"



"You can go tighter." 

"Ya sure?" 


"Ya'll pass out." 

"I'll pass out any ways." 

"That true." 

Unicorn continued tighening the cords. Quaraun held his breath. Unicorn stopped pulling, to tie the ends. 

"Tighter," Quaraun said. 

"T'at gonna hurt." 

"Since when do I not like pain?"

"Too tight un ya'll crack ya ribs or rupture yar spleen."


"It can'na go tighter."


"It'll break ya ribs if it go much tighter." 

"It can go tighter." 

"I does no want to hurt ya." 

"I like it tight. I can't get it tight enough myself. I need you to do it." 

"I can t'ink of other things I like tight un would love to do." 

Quaraun looked back at Unicorn. 

"You don't have to fuck me every five minutes."

"Aye, I does."


"Why not now?" 

"Just tighten my corset."

"I'd rather remove it."


A scene of them being interrupted by Mallac, a Human soldier, has been removed for the sake of this excerpt.


Bright coloured snowflakes of light bursts were flashing in front of his eyes, mixed in with a sinking blackness that was enveloping him. Quaraun didn't hear what the Human was saying, he was too busy hyperventilating from the panic attack that resulted from the Human's unexpected and threatening movements. Sight and sounds melded together into one. Seconds later, Quaraun was passed out on the floor.

Next thing Quaraun knew he was waking up, with Unicorn hovering worriedly over him.

"Yis okay?"

Quaraun stared up at Unicorn for a moment trying to remember where he was.

"I think so."

Unicorn had removed the corset and wrapped the Elf in one of his pink silk kimono instead.

"I told ya it was too tight," Unicorn chided.

Quaraun tried to sit up.

"I still feel light headed," he moaned as he laid back down.

"You pussy," Mallac yelled. 

"Leave 'im alone, ya git."

"I wasn't talking you."

Unicorn's eyes flared with rage, glowing red.A faint blue glow hovered around his body.

"Unicorn, don't," Quaraun said weakly.

The Lich did not listen. The undead beast saw this Human as a threat and was ready to turn into a blood thirsty skeletal beast to suck the life out of the soldier.

"Unicorn..." Quaraun forced himself up and pulled Unicorn away from Mallac. "He's not evil. He's not trying to hurt us."

"Him attacked ya."

"No. He didn't. He wasn't trying to hurt me. He was upset. His people are being killed and he was expecting us to help him stop the attacks. Some how he got his information wrong. He thought we abandoned him. You know what abandonment feels like. Better then most."

"I does. It no fun."

"He's frustrated and frightened. Something or someone is killing his friends and family. He's frightened, he's reacting out of fear." 

Quaraun turned to Mallac, then leaned again the bed to steady himself. He was breathing heavily trying to catch his breath.

"Oooh. I'm so dizzy."

"Damned corset were too tight on ya. Told ya. Ya would nay listen.

~From "The Summoner of Darkness" (Volume 11 of The Quaraun Series)

>>Everything should be there for a reason, I'd say.

>>My last novel was about sex, but I can say without hesitation and there wasn't a single sex scene in that book that wasn't there because it changed the characters, and the specifics of the scene was central to that change.

Ah... but what if you are writing a character driven story?

You know, the type that has no plot, and exists only for entertaining the reader?

And thus contains sex scenes simply because the readers wants to read a sex scene?

A scene that exists for entertainment value, is a reason for existing after all.

Plots are overrated.

>>And see, the problem with arguing the importance of sex scenes is that most writers think their sex scenes are important. 

I don't.

I'm fully aware that the sex scenes in my novels have absolutely no importance at all and could easily be removed without affecting the plot.

If there is sex in the story, it's because the character got horny while I was writing. It's almost never important to the plot and is added simply because the characters are going to refuse to let me write them any further into the story until they's relieved their tensions.

In other words, I'm fully aware that the sex scene isn't important and exists because I wanted to write a pair of dicks.

Of course then there are scenes like this...

Unicorn had often joked that Quaraun was his whore, citing that the Elf loved whoring himself to the Phooka. From what GhoulSpawn had seen, of Quaraun's daily baths, he knew this was true, Quaraun had no reason to bathe every day, indeed bathing was not exactly what he did. Unicorn watched from the shore, masturbating himself. When they were both ready to burst ropes of semen, Quaraun would leave the water, and sit on the Phooka's lap, sensually hugging and kissing him, while impaling his ass on the Phooka's throbbing cock. The bath was more of an act of foreplay before a lap dance. Quaraun acted like a female prostitute in heat, riding on the lustful Phooka, giving him a lap dance like nothing any female could have done.

When both men had finished cumming, Quaraun on the Phooka's belly and Unicorn in the Elf's ass, their loving making turned from sensual to wild, as the Phooka, pinned the Elf to the ground, the Elf holding himself very still, while the Phooka released the four very long, very sharp thorns that projected from his barbed penis after ejaculation and impaled them into the delicate flesh of the Elf's now stretched anus. Once the barbs were deep inside, they would extend even more, locked themselves deep into the Elf's flesh, like fish hooks, holding the Phooka in place, literally attaching the two of them together. Once the barbs were in, there was no way to tear the lovers apart, and like a dog with it's bitch, there was nothing Quaraun could do but screaming in agony while the Phooka fucked him with that huge barbed penis. An Elf's body was not made to be fucked by a Phooka – they were not entirely sexually compatible, which made their love making incredibly painful for the poor Necromancer. The thorns would not release until Unicorn calmed down and his penis went flaccid again, and as he was undead, he didn't tire out easily and could stay attached to Quaraun, cumming into him over and over again all night long, until the Elf finally passed out from exhaustion, at which point Unicorn word release the barbs, transform himself into a horse and fuck the Elf again, this time with a giant Fresian stallion cock.

Quaraun had told Unicorn many times he did not want to be fucked by a horse and so, Unicorn obediently wanted for the Elf to be unconscious before Unicorn fucked the Elf while he was a unicorn. GhoulSpawn often wondered if Quaraun knew how often the unicorn fucked him.

~From "GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun Series)

This scene doesn't actually show a sex scene, but rather describes a sex scene. It is very much telling instead of showing. The reason is because unlike scenes meant simply to be sex for sex's sake, this scene actually is important to the plot, thus why it is written different.

This would be a sex scene told through exposition, which is a bit none standard, but in this instance, done this way because the scene is being described by a 3rd party who is watching the two lovers.

You see the sex scene itself, intermingled with GhoulSpawn's thoughts, because the reader is seeing his reaction to what is going on. 

Likewise this sex scene spans only these 3 paragraphs of text, whereas other sex scenes in the series go on for page after page after page of detail and is told from the perspective of one of the lovers.

Most sex scenes in the Quaraun series are more sensual, but this one, you see as more brisk and gruff, less about trying to titillate the reader and more about GhoulSpawn trying to come to terms with what he is witnessing.

Quaraun and GhoulSpawn are both Elves, but Unicorn, is a Unicorn, and though GhoulSpawn was aware that Quaraun and Unicorn were lovers, just exactly want that means, is finally starting to sink in.

Thus you have a sex scene that is written, not to simply be sex for the sake of sex, but rather a sex scene written to show GhoulSpawn becoming upset over the fact that the man he loves (Quaraun) is not only in love with, but also has sex with, a horse.

Up until this point in the series, GhoulSpawn has made it known that he was interested in Quaraun, but he's held back on doing anything about it because he didn't want to break up Quaraun and Unicorn's relationship. However, Unicorn being a shape shifter, GhoulSpawn always saw him in a Human-like bi-pedal form. This is the first time GhoulSpawn is seeing Unicorn NOT in a Human form, while the lovers are engaged in sex. And the realization that: "OMG! That thing really is an animal" has just hit him, and results in his actions the following day.

His actions the following day being to get Quaraun alone, seduce him, and fuck the daylights out of him, in the first scene of the series where Quaraun and GhoulSpawn have sex.

>>And see, the problem with arguing the importance of sex scenes is that most writers think their sex scenes are important. 

So, there you go, an instance where a sex scene actually is important to the plot.

But, as you said, usually sex scenes in the Quaraun series have no plot importance and are just there to be there.

>>My best guess as to how many react to this: To many people it's like hearing a friend discuss how they banged their SO in excruciating detail.


That's exactly why instead of writing sex scenes, I write scenes of men sitting around describing their sex lives in excruciating detail. You don't know if they are exaggerating their sex lives or not because you didn't see the sex itself, you only have his word on how great of a love god he is.

This actually makes for fun writing, because you can describe the sex in some utterly insane way, and then have another character speak up in the middle of it and say: "That's not physically possible" then have them arguing over what they can and can not do in bed.

I find scenes like this much more interesting because you see more of the guy's personality and how he sees himself, whereas in a sex scenes all you get is A inserted into B, and not much character development.

>>So kinda like dicks when you're writing a sex scene?

I have to comment on this... because... I write Yaoi... yep... that's what I write.

How do I explain this?

There are 75 men in the series... not one of them ever gets his face described. Not once.

Dicks... that's another matter.

I write Yaoi... I can write (and have written) a 20 page essay on the description of one man's testicals, 20 more pages on his foreskin...and then do this same thing for 74 other characters and then write full essay comparing the differences of each.... and all 75 men in my books have very different balls. And they are all described in detail.

There isn't a reader of my novels who doesn't know in detail what Quaraun's genitals look like...including the scars, and the 52 piercings. Including Albert, Philip, and Edward piercings. This guy loves getting his dick pierced. A LOT. Scenes of him getting his dick pierced read like Erotica sex scenes.

I write CBT (Cock and Ball Torture) it's my job to know how to describe every detail possible of my characters' scrotums.

Describing noses, nope. Scrotums, yep. 

Quaraun's genitals get described more then most, partly because he is the main character, but also because he has a fetish for penis and testical torture and also because when he's not letting Unicorn do freaky shit to him, he wears an insane amount of various style penis and scrotum and nipple jewelry.

And if you didn't know Quaraun loved sounding. He's addicted to having objects, like unicorn horns and candy canes, inserted into his penis. Which is why he has not 1, but 2 penis piercings which feature a steel rod permanently inserted in his penis.

If you've never seen a Prince Albert peircing, it's a long steel sounding rod, inserted into the uthera, with a hopp ring on the end, that pierces through the top and bottom of the foreskin, holding the ring in place.

Here is what they look like not inserted:

He also wears cock rings, which are these:

My main character, Quaraun, is a Moon Elf who was raised by Demons, so he wears a lot of jewelry, and very flamboyant colours, and is seen by the other Elves as insane because of the way he dresses, thus why they call him "Quaraun the Insane". People (Elves and Humans) tend to tease him and bully him quite a lot because of it, thinking he's a vain, arrogant prissy, not really realizing there is an actual reason behind how he dresses that has nothing to do with vanity.

A list of his piercings/etc are as follows:

  • 24 gold rings in each ear (his ears are 12" long and described as "rabbit-like")
  • 3 gold nose rings, 1 in the center, and 1 on each side
  • 48 tiny gold chains, each chain going from one of the rings in his ears to 1 of the rings in his nose (this acts as a veil covering most of his face, leaving only his eyes and lips in view)
  • both nipples are pierced, gold rings, with decorative pink tormulian butterflies
  • multiple tiny gold chains connect between his nipple rings
  • a Prince Albert piercing (an L-shaped hollow rod that inserted into the penis -hollow so you can pee through it - and comes out a piercing at the top)
  • A Prince Edward peircing (same as an Albert, but pierce through the bottom instead)
  • (Yes, Albert & Edward are real piercings - Google them if you never heard of them before)
  • multiple scrotum piercing, tiny gold rings, lining down each side of each testicle creating a patterned design
  • multiple (dozens) tiny gold chains connecting the scrotum rings to each other, hanging over and in front of his penis, creating and sort of "apron" or "loin cloth" that hides his genitals from view
  • all the chains (face, chest, and groin) have tiny pink tourmaline crystal points hanging from them
  • his finger are completely hidden from view, covered by gold armor "dragon claws"
  • he also wears gold chain necklaces, bracelets, waist/belly chains, and anklets.

Scrotum rings are bar style nipple rings, that are pieced through the thin flesh of the ball sac without piercing the testicles themselves. By completely covering the scrotum with them, it gives the effect of having a disco ball hanging between the man's legs, which is what Quaraun has done.

Here are what those style rings look like:

Penis rings, the type that go through the glans head and sit on top of the slit, covering it, are also known as belly button rings. They look like this:

The style nipple rings that Quaraun wears, have a bar that pierces behind the nipple, making it stand out more, while having a drop charm underneath to highlight the nipple. They look like this:

To describe the jewelry he's wearing, I simply go to Amazon and look for jewelry and describe what it looks like, then describe his reactions to what it feels like to wear them.

Perhaps these scene come off as Erotica in the minds of readers, but, being someone who reads ACTUAL Erotica, I've never seen the Quaraun books as being anything even close to Erotica at all. When compared to Erotca, the Quaraun books are actually rather tame and very vanilla.

>>"Hawkish" is the descriptor all the cool kids are using.

I always see everybody using "Roman" and I've yet to figure out the heck a Roman nose looks like.

So, I was over on Reddit, you like I often am, and found this question. And answered it, like I do. However, the answer I initially gave was a simple generic answer. If you want to read my original answer unaltered, simply click on Reddit's embed feature links which Reddit provides for webmasters to be able to post their answers on their websites, while linking back to the original thread on Reddit (if you didn't know Reddit offered and encouraged the use of this feature, look for it in the "share" features underneath every post, comment, and reply on Reddit).

I am answering random questions today about world building, over on Reddit and decided to take my answers from there and expand upon them even further over here. So that's what this page is. Me rambling on about various aspects of world building techniques I use when writing the Quaraun series. The questions I am answering are embedded here. Clicking the link in the embedded question will take you to the original Reddit page where you can see the original answer along with other people's answers. If you wish to comment, you can do so on the Reddit page where a place to do so is provided.

In any case, as with all of my Reddit answers found on my site here, my original post on Reddit is much shorter then the article here.

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