Counting Down to the 2028 50th Anniversary of my first published book (September 23, 1978)
40TH CENTURY DYSTOPIAN MAINE | COZY SWEET ROMANTASY | DARK FANTASY | ELVES & FAERIES & DEMONS & SHIFTERS | FURRY YAOI | GOTHIC LITERATURE | GYPSY MAIN CHARACTERS | INTERSEX CHARACTER | LGBTQAI+ FICTION | MARRIED GAY COUPLE | MINI STORY | Mpreg SERIES | POLY GAY ROMANCE | QUEER FICTION | SLICE OF LIFE | TRANSMAN CHARACTER | VIGNETTE | ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE |
🌸🦄🌸 The following story is part of a long running Furry Yaoi MPreg Fiction series about Elves and Faeries and Satyrs and Demons and Unicorns and Technomancer Wizards and Liches living in a Lighthouse and surviving as Travelling Merchants and Food Truck Chefs in Cyberpunk Dystopian 40th Century Maine, and Zombie Apocalypse and Time Travel but it’s Slice of Life Vignettes of Mundane Daily Lives of The UnSeelie Court’s Royal Family trying to survive after a comet hit the moon and turned the Earth into a CyberPunk Ice-Age. 🌸🦄🌸
It features a transman main character who is an often pregnant megalomaniac supervillain necromancer, married to an unhinged Faerie King.
This series was started September 23, 1978, and now spans 138 novels, 423 novellas, 500+ poems, and 3,000+ short stories. it celebrates it’s 50th, yes FIFTYITH! anniversary since the publication of it’s very first story (Friends Are Forever) on September 23, 2028!
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane — A Pink Necromancer Short Fiction
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- Official Home Page Of Wendy C Allen: Old Orchard Beach & Biddeford, Maine's Autistic Artist, Doll Designer, Art Car Builder, and Dark Fantasy MPreg Author
- A Short Fiction Story
- An Introduction to The Pink Necromancer Series: The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane
- The Quaraun Series Prologue
- Quaraun Pink Necromancer Info 2
- Index of Pink Necromancer Fiction on Space Dock 13 (EelKat.com)
- The Three-Seventeen Pee Expedition: A Pink Necromancer Short Story
The Three-Seventeen Pee Expedition
A Pink Necromancer Fiction Short
LGBTQAI+ FICTION | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane | TransMan Main Character | Cozy Fantasy | Poly Romance
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane - A Pink Necromancer Short Fiction Story
Domestic Lives of Dangerous Faeries - LGBTQAI+ Queer MPreg Cozy Fantasy Fiction w a F2M Elf Wizard, a Gay Faerie Chef, & a BiSexual Demon Time Traveller, Free To Read Online
Series Trigger Warnings:
* Polyamorous married gay couple and their live-in lover
* Intersex main character, who lives as a trans man
* Furry Yaoi
* Characters often drink, swear, use drugs, and smoke hookahs.
* Transman Mpreg
Not all things appear in all stories.
Series Heat Level:
* Short Stories: Sweet, Fluffy, Lime, or Limon
* Novellas: Lime, Limon, Orange
* Novels: Orange, Lemon
It's three god-level, planet destroying, alien invader Space Elf, Space Faerie, Space Demon megalomaniac super villain bumbling wizards, and their ship's crew (The UnSeelie Court) with big global domination plans, whom have invaded 40th century Earth, settled in a lighthouse in Maine, started a zombie apocalypse, are hellbent on destroying all Humans and taking over the planet, but are never getting anything done because they are too busy throwing temper tantrums, having hissy fits, and flinging food, sea slugs, insults, and sexual tension at each other, to ever get around to destroying the planet.
It's slice-of-life survival horror in a post-apocalyptic necromantic dictatorship, told through dysfunctional domestic intimacy between soul-stealing villains who rule the world. Welcome to the spiralling madness of Quaraun’s eldritch, sensory-heavy, character-driven, neurotic, dysfunctional, intimate, sugar-dusted Fae-punk world. This is the hostile, dystopian, necromantic, and hyper-sensory domestic horror of Quaraun’s everyday life with BoomFuzzy (and sometimes GhoulSpawn), in a grim world ruled by undead Faerie warlords where society has collapsed and survival is brutal, intimate, and corrupt, and Humans are often on the menu of UnSeelie Court feasts.
Seen in image:
- IMAGE 1: The Pink Necromancer, Thullid Infested Moon Elf silk weaver, travelling merchant, & Royal Court Mage of The UnSeelie Court: Quaraun Swanzen on Noodle Beach. With his unhinged temper, his 12 foot long prehensile, venomous jellyfish tentacle hair, his deadly laser wand, and his inability to stay sober long enough to cast a spell properly, he is the most feared being in the known universe. Quaraun is literally a Space JellyFish (A Thullid) whom has taken control of the corpse of a dead Elf.
In the year 2525, a comet struck the Moon. Now, in 40th century Maine, Earth is frozen, the Moon is fractured, and UnDead Lobsters are a serious problem. And then there's Quaraun: The Pink Necromancer. Most feared super villain on Earth. Possibly the galaxy. Maybe ever. But all he wants is tea, silk embroidery, and a calm evening in his lighthouse.
- IMAGE 2: Master Chef Phooka turned Lich King of The UnSeelie Court: King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn with his 1968 VW Bus Beach Noodle Food Truck. He is king of the entire fucking planet. Defy him and he'll serve you as the main course of the next UnSeelie Court feast. The world's only known Unicorn, in his true form he is a tiny lilac coloured Shetland Pony with a gleaming silver horn. In his Lich form he is a blue crystal skeleton of a Friesian stallion.
BoomFuzzy, the Unicorn Lich King of the UnSeelie Court, is Quaraun's dead husband. Technically dead. Officially terrifying. Unofficially the best baker left in the apocalypse.
- IMAGE 3: The Satyr-like, mad scientist Sheep Demon: Gremorse Liore aka GhoulSpawn with his 1974 AMC Gremlin time machine. He is Quaraun's apprentice, and fast becoming the most powerful wizard in the universe.
GhoulSpawn, their brilliant, baffled companion, fell through time from 1978 and never found the way home. Now he juggles tech repairs, running from zombies, and being madly in love with the two most dangerous men of the apocalypse.
- Art by Wendy Christine Allen.
- Not seen here: Toobe: a deceptively innocent looking tiny flying silver metal orb that hoovers around GhoulSpawn, giving science reports and scanning for dangers, Toobe is a sadistically insane sentient AI from thirteen thousand years in the future, who is the real brains behind the plot of global domination.
The Three-Seventeen Pee Expedition
A Pink Necromancer Short Story
The pink silk tent snapped and rustled beneath another gust off the frozen coast. Quaraun worked the loom anyway. Shuttle through warp. Tentacle hair shifted, lifting spools, guiding threads, adjusting tension. His crippled fingers ached. The tent held warmth poorly, but the silk walls cut the worst of the wind. That counted for something.
Across from him, BoomFuzzy sat cross-legged atop a heap of cushions, one ruby-encrusted dagger balanced across his knees. Cloth moved in practiced strokes over polished steel. Another dagger waited beside him. Then another. Fresh blood dripped from all three of them.
The tent flap snapped shut hard enough to rattle the poles.
GhoulSpawn stood there, breathing through his nose, wool puffed out twice its normal size.
He had snow crusting the fur around his cloven hooves.
One of his horns snagged the silk curtain.
“Oh, for cryin’ out loud.”
He untangled himself with a sharp jerk.
Quaraun glanced up from the loom.
Pink silk stretched across the frame. His tentacle hair guided threads through the warp while his damaged hands handled the shuttle. The rhythmic work had nearly lulled him into drifting thoughts.
Nearly.
GhoulSpawn stomped farther inside.
“You know what I think?” GhoulSpawn demanded.
Quaraun returned to weaving.
“No.”
BoomFuzzy sat cross-legged beside the cookfire, ruby-studded daggers spread across a folded black cloth. He drew a whetstone down one blade.
“Dat never stopped ye afore.”
GhoulSpawn dropped down between them with a dramatic huff. GhoulSpawn huddled near the cookfire. He had wrapped himself in three wool blankets despite possessing an entire coat of golden fleece already attached to his own body. He stared into the flames. Then groaned.
“You know what gets me?” GhoulSpawn asked.
Quaraun glanced up.
BoomFuzzy kept polishing.
GhoulSpawn pointed accusingly at absolutely nothing.
“People romanticize this stuff.”
Silence.
“Off-grid living,” GhoulSpawn went on. More to himself then anyone else. “Campfires. Tents. The whole back-to-the-land deal.” He waved both hands dramatically. “They picture themselves all cozy. Little enamel coffee mug. Sunrise over some mountain. Fresh air. No traffic. No telephones ringing. No bosses breathing down your neck.”
BoomFuzzy grunted, trying not to laugh.
GhoulSpawn shook his head.
“Nobody talks about having to pee at three seventeen in the morning.”
Quaraun paused.
“…Three seventeen?” he asked softly.
GhoulSpawn poked at the fire.
“Specific numbers stick with a guy.”
“Oh.”
GhoulSpawn leaned back against a pile of sacks.
“I think people romanticize this lifestyle.”
Quaraun’s ears twitched.
“What lifestyle?”
“This.” GhoulSpawn threw both arms wide. “Living out in the middle of nowhere. Camping. Off-grid. Roughing it.”
BoomFuzzy polished the flat of a dagger. The blood was mostly gone from this one now.
“Ye say dat like it insult.”
“It is an insult!”
GhoulSpawn pointed accusingly toward the tent flap.
“Do either of you know what time it is?”
Quaraun blinked.
“No.”
“Three seventeen.”
BoomFuzzy shrugged.
“Night.”
“Exactly!”
GhoulSpawn glared.
“It is three seventeen in the mornin’, and I had to pee.”
Quaraun frowned slightly.
“Yes?”
“There is snow outside!”
“Yes.”
“There are mosquitoes!”
BoomFuzzy snorted.
“Little early fer dem.”
“I got bit yesterday. I am still mad about it.”
Quaraun’s tentacles continued weaving.
GhoulSpawn sighed.
“I woke up freezing. Absolutely freezing. Could not feel my nose.”
BoomFuzzy’s gold teeth flashed.
“Ye complain o cold while livin wi twa ancient folk frae an ice age.”
GhoulSpawn ignored him.
“So?” Quaraun adjusted another thread. “I do not understand the problem.”
GhoulSpawn stared.
“You do not understand?”
“No.”
“I had to get out from under six blankets.”
BoomFuzzy’s fluffy ears flicked.
“Only six?”
“I had to walk through freezing mud.”
“You have hooves,” Quaraun said.
“That does not make mud pleasant!”
BoomFuzzy’s gold plated teeth flashed.
“Hooves help. Mine work great. Wonderful for squishing livers.”
“I have cloven hooves! I’m a sheep! I’m not a horse like you!” GhoulSpawn pointed again. “And I got halfway to the bushes before I realized I forgot the lantern.”
Quaraun paused.
“Then you returned for it?”
“No.”
BoomFuzzy barked a laugh.
GhoulSpawn folded his arms.
“I thought, ‘How hard can it be?’”
Quaraun resumed weaving.
“A common error.”
“So I kept goin’.”
The sheep-demon rubbed both hands down his face.
“Then I stepped in somethin’.”
BoomFuzzy grinned.
“Probably coney droppings.”
“Coney?” GhoulSpawn looked at Quaraun. “I don’t speak whatever it is language Boomie does…”
“Scottish.”
“Are you sure THAT is Scottish?”
“Most definitely.”
“I’ve heard Scottish people in movies and it don’t sound like that.”
“You are an American.”
“So?”
“So, you are stupid.”
“You are rude.”
“I am an Elf.”
“That is no excuse.”
“It is perfectly excusable.”
“I can’t understand anything your husband says!”
“Exactly. He is Scottish.”
“You… he.. I… YOU TWO ARE SO FRUSTRATING! And I’ve heard Scottish people talk in movies, he doesn’t sound Scottish to me!”
“Have you ever even been to Scotland?”
“No, but…”
“But nothing. Stuck up Americans mock the Scottish language all they time and you never recognize it when you hear the real thing. What you Americans think of as being Scottish is usually actually Irish Gaelic and not in fact Scottish. Americans always get it mixed up. Say they can not tell the Irish from the Scottish. Fucking hell you can, you just never heard a real Scotsman before. All you ever heard was Americans using fake Irish accents and calling it Scottish. Americans also incorrectly assume that Scotts are Celtic, which is also incorrect. Irish are Celtic. Scottish are Pictish and Nordic, not Celtic. The Gaelic accent Americans think of as Scottish is in fact Irish. Unicorn is Scottish. He is a Shetland Pony. He is indigenous to Scotland.”
“Yeah, I keep forgetting he’s a horse. He spends so much time looking like a little old pointy eared man, that I don’t often think of him as a horse.”
“Me wee pointy eared old man form, be naught but an illusion, Ghoulie,” BoomFuzzy stated. “I always be a horse, ya just don’t always see it.”
“Why don’t you sound like how Scottish sound like in movies?”
BoomFuzzy shrugged.
“I been the King of Scotland for over two thousand years, and I be well over ten thousand years old, spend thousand of years stalking the Shetland shores munching down on Humans, while they run away screaming ‘No! It’s a Njuggel! Ooooh don’t eat me!’ I don’t know what to tell ya, Ghoulie. Ya can’t get much more Scottish then being a Human-eating, shaggy furred, seaweed dripping, Unicorn horned Shetland pony from Unst, who be married to a deranged Human hating Trow Elf.”
GhoulSpawn stared from BoomFuzzy to Quaraun and back to BoomFuzzy again.
“Shaetlan dialect,” Quaraun said. “He is a Shetland Pony, from Unst on the Shetland Islands of Scotland.”
“Yeah, that. Whatever. I still don’t know what he’s saying. What’s a coney? What are coney droppings?”
“Rabbit droppings,” Quaraun corrected automatically. “Coneys are short eared rabbits. Coney droppings are rabbit poop.”
“Aye.” BoomFuzzy nodded. “That wat I said. Coney. Yar likely stepped in rock badger shit.”
“Rock badger?”
Quaraun stifled a laugh long enough to say: “Rock badgers are slightly bigger Coneys. Large short eared rabbits.”
“Why can’t can’t he just say rabbits?!?”
“Technically coneys are not rabbits. They are short eared rabbits. They look like cottontails with hamster ears. You could have stepped in giant space hamster poop, for that matter.”
GhoulSpawn pointed at them both.
“Neither of those possibilities improves the situation.”
“What was it?” Quaraun asked. “The animal you heard?”
“I do not know!”
“You did not look?”
“It was dark!”
BoomFuzzy chuckled.
“Could ha been coney.”
“It was not a rabbit!”
“Coney.”
“It was bigger than a rabbit.”
“Coney.”
GhoulSpawn threw his hands in the air.
“Fine! CONEY! There! I said it! Bigger than a coney!”
Quaraun’s tentacle hair paused.
“What did it sound like?”
GhoulSpawn lowered his voice.
“Branches.”
BoomFuzzy stopped polishing.
“Branches?”
“Snappin’.”
Quaraun listened.
“And then?”
GhoulSpawn’s wool fluffed.
“I stood there thinkin’, ‘I am from Old Orchard Beach. I used to have indoor plumbing.’”
BoomFuzzy’s shoulders shook. He was struggling to not laugh. He was failing in the attempt to hide it.
GhoulSpawn glared at him.
“I am serious!”
“Aye. ‘Course y’is.”
“I paid taxes.”
“Aye.”
“I had electric lights.”
“Aye.”
“I could pee, in a toilet, in a bathroom, in a building, without going outside, without negotiatin’ with wildlife.”
BoomFuzzy lost the battle and laughed outright.
Quaraun tilted his head.
“You speak as though the bushes objected.”
“I was trying to pee!”
“On the bushes.”
“You did not hear whatever that thing was.”
Silence settled briefly.
BoomFuzzy drew the cloth across another blade.
“Mebbe deer.”
GhoulSpawn looked horrified.
“Deer make noises like that?”
“Aye. Mebbe fox.”
“Foxes scream,” Quaraun added.
GhoulSpawn’s eyes widened.
“They what?”
“Aye. Scream like a banshee strangling you in yar sleep, while Njuggels knaw on yar entrails. Hmmm. Yummy.”
“No one told me that. And what’s a Njuggel?”
“Cousin to the Njuggle, an da Nuggle, an da Neugle, an da Niogle, an da Nyogle, an da Nyugl, an da Shoepultie, an da Shoopiltee, an da Nuckelavee.”
“I haven’t got a clue anything you just said.”
“Type of Each-Uisge.”
“I don’t know what an Each-Uisge is!”
“I am an Each-Uisge!”
“I thought you was a Unicorn.”
“A Unicorn is a type of Each-Uisge.”
“So…every word you just said was a type of Unicorn?”
“Kind of.”
“Kind of?”
“Every word I just sai were a…” BoomFuzzy grinned. “…a type o sea horse wat eat Human entrails. I believe you Americans would call us Kelpies. Though we don’t often give ya time to call us anything. We’ve usually eaten ya throat out before ya gets the chance to scream.”
“I…what…do all Scottish horses just run around eating people?”
“Pretty much. Humans is tasty. Mebbe coney. They eat people too.”
GhoulSpawn pointed.
“That is not how rabbits work.”
“Coneys.”
“Will you stop saying coney?”
“Coney.”
“ARRGH!”
Quaraun guided another strand of silk into place.
GhoulSpawn sighed.
“You know what the worst part is?”
“What?” BoomFuzzy asked.
“I know exactly what would happen if I complained about this back home.”
BoomFuzzy glanced up.
“Gang o city folk would tell me how peaceful nature is.”
Quaraun considered this.
“Nature is peaceful.”
GhoulSpawn stared.
“Quaraun.”
“Yes?”
“I just had a standoff with a mystery beast in the dark while tryin’ to pee.”
Quaraun adjusted the shuttle.
“So?”
“So!”
“You survived.”
“That is not the point.”
“It is an important point.”
GhoulSpawn dropped backward onto the rugs.
“I swear, everybody fantasizes about this life.”
Quaraun’s foot long pointed ears flicked.
“Why would they fantasize about ordinary life?”
GhoulSpawn rolled his head toward him.
“Because they picture the good parts.”
“Aye. Good parts be good.” BoomFuzzy nodded slowly. “Coffee by fire.”
“Exactly.”
“Fresh bread.”
“Yep.”
“Sunrise.”
“Uh huh.”
“Fish caught dat morning.”
“Sure.”
“Human intestines roasting on the fire.”
GhoulSpawn sat up.
“Can you stop talking about eating people!”
“Humans are not people,” Quaraun pointed out. “They are vermin. Livestock. Parasites. Filth.”
“Ghoulie, have yer gone an forgotten yeah be living with da UnSeelie Court?”
“No.”
“I is a Unicorn. He is a Trow…”
“I am a Moon Elf,” Quaraun corrected.
“Aren’t you too short to be an Elf?” GhoulSpawn asked. “I thought Elves was supposed to be taller then Humans. Most Human children are taller then you.”
“We used to travel with a Dwarf that were taller then him…”
“I AM AN ELF!” Quaraun yelled.
“He be a Trow who calls himself a Moon Elf. Point is, we Faeries. We eat Humans. They is our main source of food.”
GhoulSpawn overlooked this completly and went back to his original train of thought.
“Grabbed a flashlight.” He paused. “Wrong flashlight.”
“What constitutes a wrong flashlight?” Quaraun asked.
“The dead one.”
“Oh.”
GhoulSpawn nodded solemnly. “Exactly.” He spread his hands. “So now I’m stumbling around in darkness because nature refuses to install indoor plumbing.”
BoomFuzzy whinnied a laugh.
“It’s not funny!” GhoulSpawn sputtered. “I stepped directly into mud.” Another pause. “And I scared something in the bushes. Or rather it scared me.”
Quaraun’s ears twitched.
“What manner of creature?”
“I don’t know.”
“You did not look?”
“No!”
“Why?”
GhoulSpawn stared at him.
“Because it sounded huge.”
BoomFuzzy chuckled.
“Mebbe fuzzy wuzzy fluffy vampire marshmallow bunny rabbit. I sent them out to scout for Humans earlier. Could be ’em coming back.”
“It was not a rabbit.”
“Mebbe tiny rabbit.”
“It had branches snapping.”
“Mebbe large rabbit.”
GhoulSpawn pointed.
“QUARAUN! Boomie won’t stop interupting me!”
“What am I supposed to do about it?”
“This is exactly the problem.”
With the blood removed from the first daggar, BoomFuzzy polished another dagger. He stoped to lick the blood off the blade.
GhoulSpawn threw himself farther into the blankets.
“So there I stood. Mud on my hooves. Hoof rot setting in. Pnuemonia trying to enter my lungs. Half frozen. Holding a useless dead flashlight.” He shook his head. “But nobody talks about freezin’ your backside off at three seventeen in the mornin’.”
Quaraun considered this.
“They should. Frozen bums are very uncomfortable.”
“Frozen bahookies in need of warming up is very lovely.”
“Keep your lustfull hands off my bum.”
“I can’t, I is a dark and horny knight, got me an Elf in desperate need of fucking. No. Wait. That ain’t right. I is the dark and stormy double dicked Unicorny who ate the dark and horny knight. He did have good weapons, though didn’t he?” BoomFuzzy held up the dagger admiring it. “Did’na do him much good though. Ha ha! Still in me belly an I got new weapons.”
GhoulSpawn stared at his two tent mates.
“Can you two stop seducing each other for ffive minutes?”
“Nope.”
“Are we seducing each other?” Quaraun asked.
“Aye. Got so many places me be wanting to stick me horn in you.”
“I think I should be horrified.”
“Aye, ya should.”
“Are either of you listing to me? There is something outside the tent!”
“So?”
“SO!?!”
“Glinta, you are over reacting.”
“I’m out there…”
“You are in here.”
“I WAS out there, freezing my bum off, trying to pee at three seventeen a.m. while mud was trying to give me hoof rot and cold wind was trying to kill me with pneumonia, while who knows what, was out there snapping branches at me and watching me pee while I was freezing my bum off!”
“They absolutely should.”
“What?!? Now what are you talking about?”
“Worry about freezing their bums.”
“Why are you responding to that now? I said it five minutes ago!”
BoomFuzzy sheathed one dagger. Picked up a blood soaked rag and tossed it across the tent.
“Me Elf has slow brain,” BoomFuzzy said. “All his blood went down to his…”
“I do not have a brain,” Quaraun corrected. “I am a JellyFish. We do not have brains. I simply wear this dead Elf’s corpse to be inconspicuous.”
“Yar ain’t inconspicuous, Love. Not dressed like a glow in the dark pink jellyfish flamingo.”
GhoulSpawn pulled another blanket around himself.
“Neighter of you are listening to me.”
“We can hear you perfectly fine.”
“Aye. I can multi task. I can listen to ya bitching, while I gut Humans, and plan on which chains to use to fuck me Elf with tonight, all at once. It really not that difficult Ghoulie.”
“And the weird thing is…” GhoulSpawn hesitated.
Quaraun waited.
BoomFuzzy threw a fresh cut Human steak on the grill.
GhoulSpawn stared into the fire, watching the blood sizzle and smoke.
“I do like parts of it.”
BoomFuzzy’s expression softened.
“Aye? Like me Elf’s pearly white frozen arse?”
Quaraun glared at BoomFuzzy.
“Can you stop talking about my ass?”
“Nope.”
“When the sun comes up…”
Quaraun resumed weaving.
“..the coffee tastes better.”
BoomFuzzy nodded.
“Aye. On account of I made it. I didn’t get 43 Michille Stars for nothing.”
“Are you sure you didn’t steal the stars off the resturants after you killed, cooked, and ate the chefs?”
“Eh, same thing.”
“Yeah… I don’t think it works that way… uhm… nevermind… And spendin’ all day actually doin’ things…” His voice grew quieter. “Mendin’ fences. Helpin’ shear sheep. Choppin’ wood. Fixing wagons. I never knew how to do any of that stuff before.”
Quaraun glanced toward him, but said nothing.
“It feels different.”
BoomFuzzy rested his hands atop the dagger in his lap.
“Aye. Hard work does that.”
“I used to spend all day lookin’ at screens. TV screens. Movie theatre screens. I never went outside if I didn’t have to.”
Quaraun frowned. “Outside is good. You are an Uruisg. You belong outside.”
“I am a Sheep Demon.”
“That is what I said.”
“That is not what you said, you said, you said…”
“Him said Uruisg. Which be Scottish word Sheep Demon,” BoomFuzzy interrupted.
“I…uhm…”
“He said you were a sheep. He just my language to do it.”
“Why can’t either of you just talk normal?”
“Ghoulie, your normal is not our normal. Neither of us be American. Me Elf here speak 83 languages and American ain’t one of them. Me, I be Scottish. And a horse. Other then talking to me Elf here, I ain’t got use for words. How many talking horses do you know, eh?”
“I will admit, you ARE the only talking horse I’ve ever met.”
“There now ya see? Me just just be a wee lil pony going about me our business chasing Humans, catching Humans, killing Humans, gutting Humans, cooking Humans, eating Humans… spend ten thousand years, just doing wat all us Shetland Ponies, roaming Unst looking all sweet an cute an cuddly an innocent sos Humans will get close to us and we can naw theys faces off, an then suddenly you come along, fall out of fucking portal, land in our world, in our time, and suddenly expect us to be speaking yis silly 20th century langage? Bit arrogant of ya ain’t it?”
“How did Scotland end up being the only country to survive the zombie apocalypse.”
“Well, it wasn’t all of Scotland was it? It t’were just Shetland. How do ya think da Unicorn Lich King of Shetland and his Trow Queen…”
“I am an Elf,” Quaraun corrected. “And I am not a queen.”
“… da Unicorn Lich King of Shetland and his former Trow Queen who became an insane royal court mage Moon Elf, ended up King of the entire planet for the past two thousand years. Advantages to living on an island off the coast of Satan Claws village now, eh?”
“Zombie plague never got here?”
“Zombie plague never got here. Too many cold winds, high gales, and endless rain. Plus not many Humans can live long on the Isles, given how many of us Each-Uisge there be roaming the marshes.”
“I do not miss them.” GhoulSpawn rubbed one horn thoughtfully. “Screens. Living in doors. I actually like full time tent living with you guys, y’know?”
The loom clicked softly. Quaraun did not respond.
GhoulSpawn stared into the flames.
“I think what gets me is… none of this is convenient.”
“No,” Quaraun agreed. “Life is very difficult. Every day is a fight just to stay alive.”
“You have to figure stuff out yourself.”
“Usually.”
“People from my time paid for camping trips.”
Silence settled over the tent.
BoomFuzzy lowered the dagger.
“Paid?”
“Yep.”
“Tae sleep outside?”
“Yep.”
BoomFuzzy blinked.
“Paid money tae pee in bushes?”
“Yep.”
BoomFuzzy stared.
“…Humans strange.”
Quaraun nodded once.
“Agreed.”
GhoulSpawn groaned.
“See? That’s what I’m talking about. You two act like all this is obvious.”
He pointed toward the tent flap.
“Outdoor toilets.”
Toward the loom.
“Making your own clothes.”
Toward the cookware stacked nearby.
“Cooking every meal from scratch.”
Toward BoomFuzzy’s daggers.
“Sharpening your own tools.”
He dropped his hands.
“I grew up with supermarkets and apartment buildings.”
“so, what you are saying is…” Quaraun returned to weaving. “There existed advantages. That we do not have.”
“Sure,” GhoulSpawn said. “But if something broke, you called somebody to come fix it. You didn’t do it yourself.”
BoomFuzzy polished the dagger hilt.
“If someting broke here…”
“You fix it,” GhoulSpawn finished.
“Or ye learn.”
The fire crackled.
GhoulSpawn stared into it.
“If somethin’ breaks, you fix it.”
“Aye.” BoomFuzzy nodded. “Aye. ‘nd there so much needing fixin’ now what da entire world be in ruins.”
“If dinner needs cookin’, somebody cooks.”
“Aye. Usually me on acount of neighther of yis can cook.”
“I used to order out. Delivery pizza. Didn’t even have to go outside. Here… If the sheep escape…” GhoulSpawn sighed. “…some idiot spends three hours rounding them back up.”
“Aye.” BoomFuzzy grinned. “Yis a good idiot.”
GhoulSpawn pointed accusingly.
“They listened to you. All you had to do was call them and they just went bumbling in the pen right behind you!”
“Dey like me. I be a sweet wee lil itty bitty goat sized Shetland pony.”
“They ignored me completely.”
“Dey know ye soft.”
Quaraun guided another thread into place.
GhoulSpawn looked at BoomFuzzy.
GhoulSpawn opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Thought for a minute.
“…That is fair.”
The fire popped.
Outside, wind moved through the trees.
Quaraun worked the loom.
The familiar sounds settled around him.
Shuttle.
Threads.
Steel against whetstone.
GhoulSpawn tucked his hooves beneath himself.
Quaraun settled into a sence of comfort, listening to his husband and his live in lover getting along with each other for a change. Not fighting. Not arguing. Just, relaxed in each other’s company and chatting about the day. He liked it this way.
“I still think indoor plumbing had merit,” GhoulSpawn said.
BoomFuzzy set the whetstone aside.
“Aye.”
GhoulSpawn blinked.
“You agree?”
BoomFuzzy shrugged.
“Convenient.”
“You have spent your entire life peein’ in bushes.”
“Still convenient.”
GhoulSpawn laughed.
BoomFuzzy polished the ruby pommel of another dagger.
“Ye ken…”
GhoulSpawn eyed him warily.
“What?”
BoomFuzzy’s blind silver eyes turned toward the fire.
“When ye first came tae us…”
GhoulSpawn stiffened.
“…yeah?”
“Ye complained every hour.”
“That is true.” Quaraun’s twelve foot long tentacle hair curled slightly. “So much complaining. It was very annoying.”
GhoulSpawn looked offended.
“It was not every hour.”
“It was impressive,” Quaraun said.
“Aye.” BoomFuzzy nodded solemnly. “Very dedicated in ya bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitchy, bitching.”
GhoulSpawn folded his arms.
“Thanks.”
“But…” BoomFuzzy ran the cloth down the blade, and checking that every last drop of Human blood was gone. “Ye learned.”
GhoulSpawn frowned.
“What do you mean?”
“Ye mend nets.”
“Well…”
“Ye help wi da sheep.”
“They’re my sheep.”
“That yis stole from the Humans.”
“They were abusing the sheep.”
“Which why we is well stocked in Human burgers now. Gots us enough for the whole bloody winter.”
“You do keep winters bloody.”
“Blood very good for washing weapons.”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to wash your weapons in blood.”
BoomFuzzy laughed. “I’m a Unicorn.”
“Yeah. I noticed. Not the friendly cuddly little pony Americans think you are, that’s for sure.”
“Ye help pitch tents.”
GhoulSpawn looked down.
“Yeah.”
“Ye gather firewood.”
“A little.”
“Ye stopped askin’ how ta use flint.”
“…Eventually.”
BoomFuzzy’s grin widened.
“Ye even survived da three-seventeen pee expedition.”
GhoulSpawn snorted.
“Barely.”
BoomFuzzy tilted his head.
“But ye did.”
The sheep-demon fell quiet.
“I guess.”
The loom fell silent.
Quaraun studied the pattern growing beneath his hands.
GhoulSpawn shifted awkwardly.
BoomFuzzy slid the polished dagger into its sheath.
“Competence no arrive all at once. Just think, someday you’ll be gutting Humans like the best of us.”
Quaraun listened without looking up.
“Comes piece by piece. I recommend starting with fingers and toes.”
“Ha ha!. Aye. Don’t start like me Elf did. His first kill was just hack and slash at the throat and rip the whole bloody damned head off.”
“He was trying to kill you.”
“Aye, an I be greatful ya saved me life.”
“You still died anyways.”
“Well, good thing I had me an insane Elf who loved me so much he took up Necromancy to bring back as a Lich, aye?”
GhoulSpawn stared at the fire.
“…You really think I am gettin’ better at this?”
BoomFuzzy looked genuinely puzzled.
“O course.”
GhoulSpawn blinked.
“Yis Fae, Ghoulie. Ya ain’t never should of been living with Humans. Ye belong here same as us.”
The words hung in the warm silk tent.
GhoulSpawn’s wool settled.
“Oh.” BoomFuzzy cleared his throat. “Still useless afore coffee. Leave that to me.”
GhoulSpawn barked a laugh.
“There he is.”
“Aye.”
Quaraun adjusted the loom.
“You have improved considerably.”
GhoulSpawn looked over.
“You think so?”
Quaraun’s ears lowered slightly.
“You no longer scream every time you encounter a corvid.”
GhoulSpawn spluttered.
“I screamed once!”
“Twice,” BoomFuzzy corrected.
“Three times,” Quaraun said.
GhoulSpawn buried his face in his hands.
The fire crackled.
Silk whispered through the loom.
Steel gleamed ruby-red in the lantern light.
Outside, whatever had occupied the bushes continued its mysterious business.
Inside, GhoulSpawn leaned against BoomFuzzy’s shoulder with a weary sigh.
“…I am still upset about the three-seventeen thing.”
BoomFuzzy patted his arm.
“Aye.” After a pause, he added: “Next time take lantern.”
GhoulSpawn groaned.
Quaraun’s tentacles continued weaving.
“Also,” Quaraun said quietly. “If it was making branches snap…”
GhoulSpawn froze.
“What?”
Quaraun blinked.
“It was probably a T-rex.”
GhoulSpawn sat bolt upright.
“…There are T-rex out there?”
BoomFuzzy grinned.
“Aye. Zombie ones. Fossils that been lichified.”
GhoulSpawn stared toward the tent flap.
“…I miss indoor plumbing.”
* Quaraun is a transman and BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn are his 2 husbands
Copyright @ Wendy Christine Allen 2026, All Rights Reserved
More Quaraun:
(Near) Daily Vlogs can be found on TikTok and YouTube:
Return to Home Page
Quaraun and BoomFuzzy
Not sure which story to start with?
These here are good places to start, to get a good introduction to the three main characters:
The Pink Necromancer, Moon Elf silk weaver & merchant: Quaraun on Noodle Beach. His master chef Phooka turned Lich husband: BoomFuzzy with his 1968 VW Bus Beach Noodle Food Truck. And their on again/off again mad scientist Sheep Demon lover: GhoulSpawn with his 1974 AMC Gremlin time machine. Time Travel setting swings back and forth between 40th century Maine after a comet hit the moon decimating the planet, and the 1970s, Maine. Quaraun in the main character, he and BoomFuzzy are a married gay couple. GhoulSpawn is their shared live-in lover. Art by Wendy Christine Allen.
 BoomFuzzy |
 Quaraun |
 GhoulSpawn and BoomFuzzy |
 GhoulSpawn |
 GhoulSpawn and Quaraun |
Faeries vs Elves (In The Quaraun Series) A Pink Necromancer World Lore Post
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The Pink Necromancer: The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane aka The Twighlight Manor Series
🌸🦄🌸 Furry Yaoi Fiction about Elves and Faeries and Satyrs and Demons and Unicorns and Technomancer Wizards and Liches living in a Lighthouse and surviving as Travelling Merchants and Food Truck Chefs in Cyberpunk Dystopian 40th Century Maine, and Zombie Apocalypse and Time Travel but it’s Slice of Life Vignettes of Mundane Daily Lives of The UnSeelie Court’s Royal Family trying to survive after a comet hit the moon and turned the Earth into a CyberPunk Ice-Age. 🌸🦄🌸
- eBook Editions from this series can be found on: GumRoad
- Kindle, eBook, Print Paperback, & full colour illustrated Hardcover Editions from this series can be found on: Amazon
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Links To The Quaraun Stories Can Be Found Listed Here These Stories are cross published on: You can find even more about Quaraun novels, novellas, novelettes, short stories, poems and drabbles at these locations: | Amazon AC1 | Amazon AC2 | Blogger | DeviantArt | FB Profile | FB Page | FB Short Story Writers Group | FictionPress | Google Business | Google Developers | Gravatar | GumRoad | Instagram | Itch.io | LinkedIn | Medium | Myspace | NexusMods | Notd | OnlyFans | PayPal | Pinterest | Quora | Reddit 1 | Reddit 2 | Spoonflower | Steam | TikTok | Tumblr | Twitch | Twitter-X | Vocal | YouTube | Zazzle | Google+ |
Copyright © [oldest articles written 1978],[website founded - 1996] – |
- Official Home Page Of Wendy C Allen: Old Orchard Beach & Biddeford, Maine's Autistic Artist, Doll Designer, Art Car Builder, and Dark Fantasy MPreg Author
- A Short Fiction Story
- An Introduction to The Pink Necromancer Series: The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane
- The Quaraun Series Prologue
- Quaraun Pink Necromancer Info 2
- Index of Pink Necromancer Fiction on Space Dock 13 (EelKat.com)
- The Three-Seventeen Pee Expedition: A Pink Necromancer Short Story
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 Wendy Christine Allen, 2019, able to sit up in a chair for the first time in years, and able to raise up my arm and wiggle fingers. This was when I started playing Witcher 3 on Twitch as part of my physical therapy to regain finger movement. Playing Witcher 3 daily from 2016 to 2019, is how I regained the use of my thumb and two for fingers on my right hand... it is also why I stopped playing Witcher 3 in 2019, once I had strengthen my two forefingers enough to start typing again.Wendy Christine Allen, Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author, Artist, Illustrator, & Art Car Designer Counting Down to the September 23, 2028 50th Anniversary of my first published book (September 23, 1978) If you are here looking for The Twighlight Manor series, The Crystonite Wars series, The Wild Years series, The White Rock Asylum for the Criminally Insane series, The Twisted Tales series, the Captured By a MerMan series, The Space Dock 13 series, The Kats of Planet Ptarmagin series, the stories about Miss Citten the Eel-Kat, or the stories about Etiole... ALL of those series were combined and consolidated into The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane Pink Necromancer series in 2014, so ALL the different series, are now under one series title. List of the published titles still in print: The Index of over three thousand stories in The Pink Necromancer series What the series is about, for those new here: |
If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
Health update: August 4, 2026 - in recovery for 6 months+ (at least until mid-January 2027...all book and video game releases are pushed back at least 6 months) see video below for why...
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Update Sept 3, 2026:
I am able to get around enough to take Koko to dog park... today is 29 days since getting out of hospital. My diet is still mostly liquid, but im eating some solid food again, but its like rice or soft mushy baby food type stuff because I still can not chew yet, though I can swallow again. My jaw is still not functioning good so im having trouble talking still. So there's been slight improvement to my mouth, throat, and jaw, but, zero improvement to my eye, which is a major concern, be Im almost fully blind right now. im legally blind since birth in my left eye, so I have no ability to fall back on using my left eye. My right eye is the one injured and my vision in it is "40% decreased" according to my doctor, but it wasn't good vision to begin with, and right now my right eye is not much different from my legally blind left eye. Which I why I have to have someone drive my car for me instead of me driving my car myself right now, which is very frustrating, because, being a female, I had to fight for over twenty years to be allowed to drive. I started sneaking out at age 31 and dressing as a man to go to Old Orchard Beach high school to get a ged, because us females are not allowed to go to school. And i was 37 years old when snuck out to the DMV and got a driver's permit and started going to college. I was 42 and 8 months pregnant when my family found out I was going to college and thats when I was punished by the backhoe driving over my house and my spine broken with a golf club and my baby born right then and killed with same golf club. So it's very frustrating now, so soon after finally being able to drive , to now not be able to drive because of an eye injury, especially after 14 years of being paralyzed from the golf club and not being allowed to have a wheelchair, again, because i am female and we females are simply not allowed to do anything. I hate the culture I was born into. I wish I had the freedom to go to school and drive a car the way American women do. I wish having my spine broken with a golf club and my baby killed with a golf club and a backhoe driven over my house was not how men in my family punishment women in my family for learning to read and write. Its so frustrating not being able to to drive again, so soon after 14 years being paralyzed, and being paralyzed by the golf club was the punishment for getting a driver's license back in 2013 after 30 years of men not letting me have one. I hate my family's culture and how they treat us women.
I get so sick of Americans telling me how they wish they could be a Gypsy… they are either misogynist woman hating pigs, or delusional idiots who haven't got a clue how shittily we Gypsy women are treated by Gypsy men, because no one in their righ mind who knows anything about Gypsy culture would ever want to be part of it. I hate that I was born a Gypsy.
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update sept 7, 2026
"You would not make a good teacher"... what does that mean, and why are there so many people on Railroad Ave and Western Ave and Cutts St why walk up to me and say that to me?
I find it very confusing. I have low functioning Autism (the Rain Man type) and so i have very little understanding of words beyond the basic ones, and i never went to to school, so I never learned maths or sciences, and I only had remedial classes at Southern Maine Community College, because I did not have an education to enroll with regular, I was there taking every reading and writing class they had to learn how to read and write, and also took speaking classes to learn how to talk (i spoke Shetland Scottish language because that was language my grandmother spoke but she died when I was 8 so I only knew that language to speak and write, and I was 37 when I went to college and 42 when I learned English speaking and I still cant speak English good yet), all the other classes I took were art painting and cooking.
So the phrase "You would not make a good teacher" makes no sense to me because it seems to imply that I am trying to be a teacher, but I don't have anything close to the education ti be a teacher, and im not trying to be a teacher. So I don't know why people keep saying this phrase to me and I assume it must have some sort of a slang meaning, but I can't figure out what it could be of why do these people keep saying it to me.
see video below for more information:
@eelkat "You would not make a good teacher"... what does that mean, and why are there so many people on Railroad Ave and Western Ave and Cutts St why walk up to me and say that to me? I find it very confusing. I have low functioning Autism (the Rain Man type) and so i have very little understanding of words beyond the basic ones, and i never went to to school, so I never learned maths or sciences, and I only had remedial classes at Southern Maine Community College, because I did not have an education to enroll with regular, I was there taking every reading and writing class they had to learn how to read and write, and also took speaking classes to learn how to talk (i spoke Shetland Scottish language because that was language my grandmother spoke but she died when I was 8 so I only knew that language to speak and write, and I was 37 when I went to college and 42 when I learned English speaking and I still cant speak English good yet), all the other classes I took were art painting and cooking. So the phrase "You would not make a good teacher" makes no sense to me because it seems to imply that I am trying to be a teacher, but I don't have anything close to the education ti be a teacher, and im not trying to be a teacher. So I don't know why people keep saying this phrase to me and I assume it must have some sort of a slang meaning, but I can't figure out what it could be of why do these people keep saying it to me. #mainelife #biddefordmaine #maine #disabilitytiktok #Biddeford ♬ original sound Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
update Sept 15, 2026:
I have some slight movement in some my fingers again again after over a decade being paralyzed
you remember how I used to be a professional doll making, pattern designer, and embroiderer, back before I became paralized and before my son was murdered and being the backhoe drove over my house?
all my equipment, sewing machines, ect were all destroyed by the backhoe driving over my house, and I have been quardepelegic for over a decade because of it so could not use my hands to sew or draw or embroider, and so only continued to do my writing of novels since then because I could do that with dragon dictation software,
well, since 2016, I been playing Witcher 3 and don't starve video games on twitch livestream, one hand two fingers, as part of my therapy to regain nerve and muscle use of my fingers, and now after 10 years of that, I have somewhat more movement in my fingers and im thinking maybe I can try to do embroidery and doll making again, but not sure, anyways, now im rebuying all of my sewing and embroidery equipment that the backhoe destroyed when it drove over my house, and hopefully I can use my hand enough to embroider again.
waiting for stuff to arrive in mail, so soon I should find out if ten years of twitch gaming has given me enough muscle strength to use my fingers to embroider again.
update to the previous video, answering viewer question about lack of hospital vs broken spine
Wheelchair Fundraiser... I need to upgrade to a power wheelchair, the manual one just isn't enough anymore. But the power wheelchair is $25k. Yes, twenty five thousand dollars. Wtf? I can get a car for a quarter that price, why are wheelchairs so damned expensive? That's more money then I make in five years, so I need to start a fundraiser for it.
Books By Wendy Christine Allen
Currently Available on Amazon Kindle:
Index of the Quaraun novels, novellas, & short story collections on Amazon
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And GumRoad:
Index of the Quaraun short stories on GumRoad
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On Medium:
An Index of the more than TWO THOUSAND Quaraun Short Stories on Medium
(NOTE: a $5 or $15 per month paid subscription required to access stories on Medium)
On Vocal:
Index of the Quaraun short stories on Vocal
On Notd:
Index of the Quaraun Short Stories on Notd
On OnlyFans:
Index of the Quaraun Short Stories on OnlyFans
(NOTE: a $4.99 per month paid subscription required to access stories on OnlyFans)
Pink Necromancer Merch: On CafePress:
An Index of the Quaraun Merch on CafePress
Pink Necromancer Merch: On Zazzle:
Index of the Quaraun Merch on Zazzle
Not Quaraun:
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🌸🦄🌸 This work of fiction is a part of a long-running series of novels, novellas, short stories, and poetry, that I have been writing & publishing since 1978 (50th anniversary coming in 2028!) spanning over 3k published works. 🌸🦄🌸
The series is a blend of the following genres, themes, and topics:
#OwnVoices - Gypsy Characters Written by Gypsy Author | 40th Century Dystopian Maine | A raw, broken world full of predators, trauma, and psychological warfare. | A trio fractured god-tier war criminals who bicker like divorced mafia families while ruling a dead world with iron magic and necromancy. | Absinthe | Absurdist/Absurdism | Accidental Incantation | Adult tone, gritty, harsh, visceral | Alienated Loners Who Lived on the Edge of Society | Alternate History | Author is not White | Autistic Main Character | Autistic protagonist | Be Careful What You Say | Be Careful What You Wish For | BioDome & Eco-Fiction | BioPunk | Bisexual Relationships | Bizzarro | Black Characters | Blind Characters | Bumbling Wizards | Camping, Glamping & Outdoor Adventure Fiction | Carny Gypsy Caravan & Vardo Life Tales | Ceremonial Magic | Character Studies | Character Study | Character-driven worldbuilding | Characters Are Not White | Comical Overreacting | Cosmic Horror | Counter Culture Lifestyle | Cozy Fantasy | Cozy Romantasy | Cthulhu Mythos | Culinary Fiction | Cursed Magic Items | CyberPunk | Dark Fantasy | Dark Romance | Deal with the Devil | Demonic Contracts | Demons | Dialogue Vignette | DinoPunk | Disguised as Male | Domestic Fiction | Driven to Suicide Themes | Dying Earth | Dystopian | Dystopian 40th Century Maine | Elderly Main Character | Eldritch Horror | Eldritch Horrors | Elf Wizard | ElfPunk | Elves | EMO Goth EdgeLord | Environmental Catastrophe | EOTWAWKI | Evil Elves | Evil Faeries | Evil NonHuman Main Characters Gleefully Killing Humans | Evil Unicorns | Evil Wizards | Existentialism | Exotic Alien Planets | Experimental Abstract Literary Slice of Life | F2M Transgender MC | Faerie King | Faeries | Fairy Devilmother | Fairy Tales ReTold | Family Saga | Fantasy drug use | Fear of the Unknown Dystopian Literature | Fictional Portrayal of Psychopaths | Flying Carpets | Food Truck & Mobile Gastronomy Drama | Forgot About His Powers | Found Family | Frost Punk | FrostPunk | Furries | Furry Fiction | Furry Yaoi | Futuristic False Utopia Dystopic Societies | Gay Characters Who Live In Biddeford, Maine | Gay Characters Who Live In Old Orchard Beach, Maine | Gay Harem Romance | Gay Male Pulp Fiction Dialogue Vignette | Gay Romance | Gay/M-M-M Romance | Genderfluid characters in fiction | Gets Easily Lost | Ghost Stories | Glass Canon Wizards | Gothic Horror | Gothic Literature | Gothic Romance | Green Fairy Wine | Grimmification | Grotesque Domestic Fiction | Grotesque Families & Relationships | Gypsy Characters Who Live In Biddeford, Maine | Gypsy Characters Who Live In Old Orchard Beach, Maine | Gypsy Main Characters | Hand Wave Logic | Haunted Lighthouses | He's a Damsel In Distress | Homeless Main Characters | Hookah Smoking | Horned | Humanoid | Human Experimentation (Mad Scientist Horror) | Hyper violent, hyper dysfunctional power trio | Ice Age Punk | Intersex Main Character | Intersex/Transgender Main Character | Interspecies Romance | Isekai | Jackass Genie | Jerkass | LGBTQAI+ Characters Who Live In Biddeford, Maine | LGBTQAI+ Characters Who Live In Old Orchard Beach, Maine | LGBTQAI+ Fiction | Lgbtqai+ Speculative Drama | Lich Lords | Life In Maine | Lighthouse Keeper Tales | Literal Genie | Literary Fiction | Little Bit Beastly | Lovecraftian Cultists | Lover's Triangles | LSD Use | Lythande FanFiction | Macabre | Mage Tower | Magic Items | Magical Homeless Person | Magical Realism | Magically-Binding Contract | Married Gay Couple | Melodrama | MerMen | Mini Story | Minor Injury Overreaction | Mix-and-Match Critters | MM Romance | MMM Romance (yes, M-M-M Romance, 3 Ms, not 2 - Poly Romance) | MMM Romance | MPreg | MPreg Family Life | Nautical Fiction | Necromancers | Neurodivergent main character | New Weird | No Sense of Direction | Occult Horror | Off-Grid Homestead Prepper Survival Fiction | Omegaverse | One of the Primary Characters is the Ghost of a Suicide Victim and talks of his Suicide Often | Opium Use | Our Liches Are Different | Parallel Universe | Paranoid Fiction | Pastoral Fiction | Pastoral Poetry | Poke in the Third Eye | Poly Gay Romance | Poly Romance - Why Choose | Portal Fantasy | Post-apocalyptic Survival Punk | Post-comet Earth | Post-Post-Zombie Apocalypse | Powerful, but Incompetent | Prefers Going Barefoot | Prehensile Hair | Prehensile Tail | Psychological Melodrama | Queer Characters Who Live In Biddeford, Maine | Queer Characters Who Live In Old Orchard Beach, Maine | Queer Fiction | Radical Reformation Fiction | RayPunk/Raygun Gothic | Read the Fine Print | Retro-Futuristic Fantasy | Reverse Harem | Road Trip Fiction | Road Trip Travel Narrative | Satyr | Self-Harm (Cutting, and deliberate drug overdose) | Shifter Romance | Shifters | Slice Of Life | Slipstream | Slipstream Fiction | Soap Opera | Sold His Soul for a Donut | Sometimes there is a fuckingly liberal use of the fucking word Fuck for no fucking reason other than to say fuck as many fucking times as fuckingly possible | Soul Contracts | Space Fantasy | Space Opera | Space Travel | Speculative Science Fiction | SteamPunk | Suicidally depressed characters | Suicide References | Super Villian MC | Superpower Lottery | SuperVillain PoV | Surrealism | Survivalism | Sweet Romance | Sword & Planet | Sword & Sandal | Sword & Sorcery | Techno Mages | Technological Overreach | The Bad Guy Wins | The Drifter | There is a thing in the series called The Alien Bible - it is the Christian Bible rewritten by aliens, some readers found this upsetting as well | There is a zombie apocalypse going on and lots of historical figures make cameo appearances as zombies, including Zombie Jesus - this seems to frequently upset readers so yeah here's a warning for that | Third-person limited | Thruple/Trio Relationships | Time Travel | Too Dumb to Live | Transgender Characters Who Live In Biddeford, Maine | Transgender Characters Who Live In Old Orchard Beach, Maine | Transhumanist Literature | Transman Main Character | Transman MPreg Yaoi | Unmarried Live-In Lovers | UnSeelie Court | Urban Fantasy | Vignette | Villain Main Characters | Voodoo Fiction | Walking the Earth | Wandering Wizard | Wasteful Wishing | Wasteland Survival | Weird Fiction | Weird West | Whatevermancy Magic Systems | While there are no sex scenes, characters often talk of their sex lives in dialogue conversations and are known to use crude words when doing so | Why Choose - Poly Romance | World’s Strongest Man | Yaoi | Zombie Apocalypse | And probably more.
I don't exactly stick to one genre and I'm constantly experimenting with new genres and new writing styles. If you don't know the meanings of any of those genres, Google can help you, I should make a page defining each, I might do that in the future. 🦄🌸 - -not all genres appear in every story. 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇. ་༘࿐˙⋆.
- If you are unfamiliar with the definition of what any of those genres are, they are all listed on the Wikipedia website.
And this series heavily features/makes use of the following tropes:
- Accidental Incantation | Be Careful What You Say | Be Careful What You Wish For | Ceremonial Magic | Comical Overreacting | Deal with the Devil | Demonic Contracts | Demons | Disguised as Male | Driven to Suicide Themes | Eldritch Horrors | Evil Elves | Evil Faeries | Evil Unicorns | Evil Wizards | F2M Transgender MC | Fairy Devilmother | Forgot About His Powers | Found Family | Furries | Gets Easily Lost | Grimmification | Hand Wave Logic | Haunted Lighthouses | Horned Humanoid | Jackass Genie | Jerkass | Literal Genie | Little Bit Beastly | Lovecraftian Cultists | Mage Tower | Magical Homeless Person | Magically-Binding Contract | MerMen | Minor Injury Overreaction | Mix-and-Match Critters | Necromancers | No Sense of Direction | Our Liches Are Different | Poke in the Third Eye | Powerful, but Incompetent | Prefers Going Barefoot | Prehensile Hair | Read the Fine Print | Sold His Soul for a Donut | Super Villian MC | Superpower Lottery | The Bad Guy Wins | The Drifter | Too Dumb to Live | UnSeelie Court | Walking the Earth | Wandering Wizard | Wasteful Wishing | Whatevermancy Magic Systems | World’s Strongest Man |
- If you are unfamiliar with the definition of what any of those tropes are, they are all listed on the Tv Tropes website.
🌸🦄🌸LITERARY FICTION WARNING: This entire series is Character Driven Slice of Life Vignette Literary Fiction, regardless of what genre each individual story within it may be; meaning there's a lot of dialogue, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, a lot of monologue, a lot of characters having existential crisis, and a lot of emotional introspective, but not much action or plot going on in this heavily character driven series, that focuses largely on three non-Human bumbling wizard super villains and their often ridiculous attempts to take over Humanity.
Each story is a narrow focused look at a single event (often a single day or usually just a single sliver of a single hour) in Quaraun's life.
This content warning has been added because for some reason, more than 1,000 readers have contacted me to suggest I add it because they said they would have bought nothing in the series had they known ahead of time this was LITERARY Fantasy and not generic Fantasy.
*shrug*
I don't see the need for this content warning, but, whatever. Here it is.
Character driven fiction is highly uncommon in the fiction world, readers who are used to reading fast paced, plot driven stories WILL find their panties in a twist, if they never encountered slow moving, plotless fiction before.
This is Character driven Slice of Life fiction and does not follow the Western publishing norms of either plots or 3 act structures (beginning/middle/end).
I use the Japanese 4 act structure (aka kishōtenketsu - Introduction/Development/Twist/Conclusion), which does not start at the beginning and is left open ended without clear resolutions.
It's kind of a sometimes Cozy, sometimes semi-Erotic, sometimes borderline spatter punk gorn, usually deranged bickering lover's spat Fae-punk horror series about Quaraun, a fragile, volatile autistic necromancer, and his hypersexual undead pastry chef lover surviving a frozen post-apocalypse. An autistic necromancer battles inner chaos, eldritch threats, and love in this tender, darkly whimsical cozy fantasy on an ice age planet. A genderfluid Moon Elf necromancer and his undead Fae lover navigate grief, magic, and quiet apocalypse in a queer gothic fantasy world ruled by Fae. It's weird. Venomous jellyfish hair. Gingerbread swords. Sweet cuddles jutixpointed against fire, blood, magic, and venom. Undead lobsters. Undead moose. Psychotic evil Elves. Welcome to the gentle madness of Quaraun’s eldritch, sensory-heavy, character-driven, neurotic, dysfunctional, intimate, sugar-dusted Fae-punk world. A soft-spoken necromancer drifts through frozen forests, haunted kitchens, and forgotten spells in a quiet saga of grief, love, and magic. After the fall of the Human world, a fragile Elven mage clings to love and ritual in a world of snow, silence, undead moose, and pink silk curses. Fae-punk, cozy horror, autistic protagonist, queer necromancer, UnSeelie Court—Quaraun's magical survival story unfolds in icy solitude. Fucked-up sensuality with claws, in a world where roses bite and dust bunnies kill, Quaraun—the broken Elfin necromancer—shelters with his ghostly Fae lover and sentient kitchen. But raw, damaged, obsessed, unstable beings in a hostile world where civilization has been erased, not rebuilding. BoomFuzzy who kills over a miscooked mushroom and Quaraun who rants for 2 pages about the word 'insane' and why he isn't. All are domestic, darkly romantic, usually set in the lighthouse or food truck, from Quaraun’s POV. Quaraun is neurotic, obsessive, and overwhelmed. BoomFuzzy is lewd, sharp, dangerously charming 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇. ་༘࿐˙⋆ . 🌸🦄🌸
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
The Park Bench Method of Writing
IMPORTANT NOTE:
There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.
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This page, including all art, photos, and text was written & created by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine. All Rights Reserved.
