Looking to connect with me on social media? Links to all my official accounts can be found here:

<<<<---  If it is not on that list, it is not me. 

Please note that since 2013, there have shown up several FAKE "EelKat" accounts, often using photos stolen from my website. Those accounts are run by a stalker who also goes by the names Kendra Silvermander & Tom Addams. They are wanted by the FBI, so if you run across one of these fake accounts pretending to be me, please report it to FBI Agent in charge of the case: Andy Drewer.



Official Home Page Of The Quaraun Series
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: Yaoi Unicorn Porn

What Is This Site?

I'm an author. This is an author home page. It's about me, my life, my books, and my home town.

Since starting my writing career in 1978, I have written 130+ novels, 200+ short stories, 6,000+ non-fiction articles, 30+ non-fiction books, a few dozen stage plays, 9,700+ blog posts, and a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck.

In fiction works, I specialize in Weird/Bizzaro Tales set in Medieval Dark Fantasy and Science Fiction worlds featuring Elf and Faerie main character.  

My non-fiction topics include local history (particularly paranormal events), gardening, sewing, doll making, painting, SEO, and of course the bulk of my work has been devoted to teaching young writers how to get started on the path of becoming a career author. 

Every day of my life has been recorded online since 2003.

Since 2016, after multiple death threats, 2 murder attempts, the kidnapping of my cats, and the bombing of my house... on orders of the FBI Agent in charge of the case - I now have a video camera on me and recording 24 hours a day. This will continue until the criminal is caught and locked away in prison where they belong. If you don't want to be featured on my website, then don't be a part of my life, because you WILL find your name, face, email, and home address posted here if you force your way into my life.


This site started out on August 17, 1997, under the name "Space Dock 13", as the "Ask EelKat" advice column for writers. It's original purpose was simply for an author (me) to answer questions anyone had about writing short stories and novels. Today 20 years later, I still answer questions sent to me, though, I now receive an average of 2,000 questions a day, meaning it's no longer possible for me to answer every question I receive.

This site's one goal, is still today, as it was when it started: to help young writers get started on the road to becoming published authors.

In 2003, one reader suggested that the best way they could think of, for an author to show people looking to get started in a writing career, what an author's daily life was like, would be to start a blog daily chronalizing every daily activity that effected my writing career.

With that suggestion in mind EK's Star Log was born, and is still active today, 9,772 blog posts later.

On September 23, 2013, we changed urls to EelKat.com, and began the long process of moving all the articles off the old url to this new one. As of June 19, 2017, a little over 2,000 pages have now been transferred here to the new url.


Because I kept adding to it and it got very long, too long for the front page, the rest of the What is this site? answer is now on it's own page.



Now Available In Print:

Top selling volume of the Quaraun series, and #1 most requested to be released in paperback... The Night of the Screaming Unicorn is now available in trade paperback edition.

The rest of the series will be going to print as well, though a release scheduled is not yet available. It is however, likely that all 5 of the volumes currently available on Amazon Kindle, will see a print release before the end of 2017.

Also, we are nearing the finishing up of editing Summoner of Darkness, and as requested, MOST of the novel is going to be available right here on EelKat.com as a free to read novel.

Because we monetize with Google Adsence, however, the more graphic sex scenes can not be put on this site and will only be available in the paid edition of the book on Amazon.

I've also now begun work on compiling several of the old FanFiction.net short stories together into the novelized compilations editions: GhoulSpawn The Crazed and the Rose Garden of the Pink Necromancer, Zebulon's Captive, and My Two Favorite People.

Sample chapters from each of the novels seen below are now available here on EelKat.com.


More then a dozen of the short stories have now been complied to create the 5 novelized editions now available on Amazon Kindle:


By Fan Request, My Most Popular Article Of all Time
(Amphibious Aliens)
Has Now Been Moved To EelKat.com!

With over 10 million lifetime views, Amphibious Aliens is my most popular and most trafficked article ever. Published April 17, 2007, it's now celebrating it's 10th anniversary.

This one page alone brings in 3,000 views a day, and has resulted in the annual arrival of 30,000 ufo hunter and MUFON member tourists arriving in Old Orchard Beach every summer since 2007.

This single page brings more tourists to Old Orchard Beach, then anything else found on or off the internet!

{{{Hugs}}} to all you wonderful people. I always look forward to meeting and talking with you each summer! 


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Top 101 Most Viewed Pages Of 2017 So Far
(Out of 9,772 pages)

(January 2017 to June 2017)
(Excluding the Home PageAbout Page, and Site Map Page, which were the top 3)

  1. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  2. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  3. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  4. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach
  5. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  6. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: What is wrong with Quaraun? (Writing A Clinically Insane Character Accurately)
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  13. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  14. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  15. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  16. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  17. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  18. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  19. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  20. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  21. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  22. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  23. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  26. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  27. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  28. Is It a Novel, a Novella, a Short Story or Something Else?
  29. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  30. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  31. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  32. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  33. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  34. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  35. How To Write A Stage Play Script Frenzy 2010 Writing Dialogue
  36. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  37. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  38. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  39. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  40. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  41. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  42. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  43. OtherKin: My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  44. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  45. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  46. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  47. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  48. A Gallery of Fetish Shoes
  49. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  50. EGL: Elegant Gothic Lolita
  51. One Gypsy's Review of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
  52. Selfie: When did the X-Rated porn word get a new meaning?
  53. Daily Writing Prompts (June 2017 Archive)
  54. Quaraun The Insane Volume 1: The Night of the Screaming Unicorn
  55. Random Generators by EelKat
  56. Autistic Characters In Fiction
  57. Keywords & Pigeons: How I Do Local Business Marketing
  58. Manuscript Reading Services or Will You Read My Book and Tell Me What You Think?
  59. How to Write Hot Sex - Tips For Erotic Romance Authors
  60. How can your books have gay transvestite characters and not be Erotica?
  61. KBoards, The NaNoWriMo ML Rumor & The Vindictive Stalker
  62. Captured By The Lich Lord | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  63. Incest In Fiction
  64. Maine UFO Sightings
  65. Page 11 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - The Scottish Traveller Crime Family
  66. The Southern Maine Writers Group
  67. Contact Info
  68. My Fave YouTubers Play: Dream Daddy - The Yaoi Dating Sim Otome Game
  69. Santa's Floating Dead Body | A Scene From The Summoner of Darkness
  70. Why Pink Humor Crude Adult Comedy Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  71. SideBar Archive Spring 2017
  72. The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  73. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  74. Lives Destroyed: Amphibious Aliens 10th Anniversary Update
  75. Twighilight Not Twilight
  76. What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?)
  77. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo Featuring The 13 Step Method To Writing
  78. A Motorhome named 'No Hurry' becomes Rosebud & The Story of Ten Kidnapped Cats
  79. BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  80. An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  81. Gemstones in Gypsy Magic (A to C)
  82. Is The Quaraun Series Erotica? - No! Here's why...
  83. Pink Flowers Aesthetic on Pinterest
  84. Sheep | GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  85. You Stole My Idea - I was writing a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
  86. A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest | Summoner of Darkness
  87. City of The Slushies | Chapter 1 | Quaraun The Insane
  88. Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
  89. Create Original Content aka I Hate Jackass Gutter Scum Thieves
  90. Lets Playing Is No Longer Fun
  91. Phookas
  92. The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall
  93. Aspergers is NOT Autism
  94. Domain Name Branding: Should You Put Your Brand Name In Your URL?
  95. How is it that the church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?
  96. Summoner of Darkness: GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  97. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 2 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  98. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, or Intersex: What Is Quaraun?
  99. Average Typing Speed
  100. How valuable is a writer’s group?
  101. Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)

Wasn't This Page Different Yesterday?

Answering another question: "Wasn't this page different yesterday?"

Yep. Probably. I update pages daily. Move pages constantly. Re-write codes every few weeks. Publish 1 to 10 new pages every day. And post daily updates on various pages. The front landing page (this one you are reading now) changes daily. It'll feature different articles every day.

The first draft of an article shows up here the day it's written, then 2 or 3 days later gets moved to it's own page with it's own url.

This site is VERY active. If you don't come back daily, you'll defiantly miss out on something.

We Are Now The Largest &
Most Visited Website
of Old Orchard Beach, Maine!

{{{{Hugs}}} and a great big thank you to all my wonderful fans!

As of March 2017 EelKat.com is now getting 44,000 views per month!

We've come a long way from the 300 views a month I was getting 10 years ago when the Amphibious Aliens article was first published.

We are also now the #1 web site on Google for almost every search term containing the words "Old Orchard Beach", receiving more then 7,000 hits per month just on that one search term!

With 6,000+ pages and 44,000 views per month, we are now both the largest and most trafficked website headquartered out of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Yay!

These amazing results are all thanks to two articles: Amphibious Aliens, which now ranks as my most read article ever, and Meet The GoldenEagle: The World's Most Haunted Car, which is the most visited page on my website. Thank you to all my wonderful readers for making this possible. Without all you wonderful people this website wouldn't even be possible.

{{{Hugs}}} for you all, and thank you once again for taking the time to stop by!

~EK

Here, have a celebratory rainbow pooping cat in space, CosPlaying a strawberry poptart...

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If you play iSpy long enough with my car you can find Nyan Cat in the beadwork...

Latest Updates:

Last 5 Pages Updated:

  1. The River Boat Man-Woman | The Summoner of Darkness

    Nov 23, 17 03:22 AM

    The River Boat Man-Woman | The Summoner of Darkness

    Read More

  2. The Strange Village or I Love The Smell Of Decomposing Bodies In The Morning

    Nov 22, 17 10:54 PM

    The Strange Village or I Love The Smell Of Decomposing Bodies In The Morning

    Read More

  3. Letter To Home - The Masochistic Elf With Stockholm Syndrome

    Nov 21, 17 05:00 AM

    Letter To Home - The Masochistic Elf With Stockholm Syndrome | Summoner of Darkness

    Read More

  4. Worms | Summoner of Darkness

    Nov 21, 17 02:10 AM

    Worms | Summoner of Darkness

    Read More

  5. My Brother Almost Died - Police Refuse To Investigate

    Nov 20, 17 02:39 AM

    Biddeford Police In Action, or Lack There of - My Brother Almost Died - Police Refuse To Investigate

    Read More

Monster Truck No Hurry as Transgender Awareness Tour Bus - Inside
Monster Truck No Hurry as Gypsy Caravan RoseBud - OutsideMonster Truck No Hurry as Transgender Awareness Tour Bus - Outside


Language Warning?

Answering another question: "Do you have to swear so much?"

Damn, fucking, bloody hell, yes. And if you don't like it, you can take your elitist shit head, stuff it up your holier than thou ass, and jump off a cliff.

I write Yaoi. As in, I'm a Yaoi author. Yaoi is noted for being crude. It's a genre that you have to be 18 or older to buy. So, yeah, you're gonna find crude language here, and you probably want to be 18 or older to read my site here as well, because the #1 thing I talk about is Yaoi and how to write it.

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We Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, are Scottish & this site therefore uses our Native Scottish English. 

Spellings like "traveller" or "neighbour" or "colour", pronoun differences "me" for "my" or "you" for "your" might look unfamiliar to you, but they are in fact correct in our language. Please refrain from letting your cultural ignorance show in my inbox.





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Books By EelKat
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And why 27 books were deleted off Amazon after being banned by The Old Orchard Beach, Maine Town Hall, an American Government organization, on January 4, 2016, for being "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach".





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