Update: April 16, 2022

Tomorrow is Easter.

Easter, like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Mother's day is one of the worst days of the year. A day that celebrates children and motherhood. On November 14, 2013, while I was 8 month pregnant, and putting bags on the back seat of my car, three still unidentified attackers, brought golf clubs down on my back, breaking my spine and murdering my baby. I am legally blind and almost deaf, so I neither heard nor saw them coming. I read lips, so you must be facing me for me to hear you. Bring legally blind, you also must be less than 3 feet in front of me for me to see your lips, to know you are talking. Because of this it was very easy for them to sneak up behind me while I leaned into my car, putting bags on the seat.

They broke 3 vertebrae in my spine, the shattered bones severing my spinal column, permanently damaging many nerves. Because of this nerve damage I have limited use of my left arm and hand, difficulty breathing, my bladder and intestines no longer function properly requiring adult diapers, massive tremors in both hands prevent me from being able to do basic things like brush my hair or hold a spoon to eat. These are just things from the nerve damage. 

Additionally they broke my pelvis, my hips, and my knees.

I was paralyzed for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. Today I can walk on a very limited basis, aided by a cane, but every step is seeking pain, like lightning bolts going through my leg, across my pelvis and up my spine.

Because of this I was bedridden from 2013 to 2015. And all of that time I had no use of my hands, so I was not online either. And thus was unaware that during that time, a group of locals set to social media to build up massive slanderous rumors about me. They created a huge fairy tale meme of me being an Erotica author, a porn star, a transvestite, a male to female transgender, gay, and an alien abductee. I am none of those things but they spent 3 years, on hundreds of accounts on Facebook and Twitter, many of them fake "Eelkat" accounts where they were pretending to be me, building up this massive slanderous web of lies about me, and I had no idea they were doing it, until October 2021, 9 years after they started doing it.

April 10, 2015 a group of 74 locals, many of them wearing ku klux klan white hooded robes, arrived at my farm. 14 of them held me, Ben, my mother, and one of my 3 younger brothers down on the ice and snow while holding guns to our heads, while the others used cinder block bricks and a metal pole device with wire loops on the end, to beat and behead, 10 of my 12 foster children, then nail their heads to my door. The youngest was 4 years old. The oldest was 16 years old. They chanted "too gay for the family friendly town of old Orchard Beach" while accusing me, my pink Volvo, my pink motor home, and Ben of being gay, transgender, transvestite, and citing that guys were not allowed in Maine.

THIS is what gay haters in Maine do to people they THINK, might maybe, be gay, even though they are not.

No man, woman or child is safe in Maine, so long as these murders walk free. They will kill anything they determine to be gay, even if it is not, as can be seen my the murder of my children.

They also had hundreds of paperback copies of my books, burning them in a huge bonfire on my lawn while calling them gay Erotica and calling mean Erotica author and porn star. (I'm an author, I write a travel blog style series about a homeless man who backpacks his way across Maine, there is no sex in the series. I'm a Mormon, I've never written a sex scene.)

My family was murdered and I am crippled for the rest of my life, because of this group who has been slandering me on social media. But, at the time of these two attacks (November 14, 2013 and April 10,2015) me and my family were unaware of these slanderous rumors the locals of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine were spreading not only on Facebook and Twitter, but by word of mouth around town as well.

May 2021, I started walking around town again, for the first time since being paralyzed 9 years ago on November 14, 2013, and it quickly became apparent something was seriously wrong with the locals.

I was unable to walk my dog on Main Street, Bradbury Street, Harvey Street, or Cutts Street Biddeford, where I have lived since becoming paralyzed, but not before gone outside, because of being paralyzed and bedridden and unable to walk until now…

I was unable to walk my dog on Main Street, Bradbury Street, Harvey Street, or Cutts Street Biddeford without being attacked, pushed off the sidewalk by random strangers running up to me and grabbing my cane and using it to push me in the road in front of cars while accusing me of being gay, transgender, or transvestite. Screaming "transvestite freak" while throwing rocks at me. Group of women joggers stopping to surround me and harass me while saying guys aren't allowed on their street. 

October 2021, my Volvo returned to my driveway after 3 years of being completely rebuilt, after the February 2019 attack on it with baseball bats completely destroyed it. Within 5 minutes of starting to repaint it, 2 men showed up in my driveway yelling about aliens and demons and Etoile and because of this I stopped painting fish on the door, painted over the fish and painted a portrait of Etiole instead. 

November 19, 2021 the red haired American woman from the 2016 High Street attack on my navy blue pick up truck, showed up on the porch here on Main Street. 

The location is 409 Main Street, the big white farmhouse Victorian on the 3way corner of Harvey Lane and Cutts street, right at the train tracks. It has 2 driveways one on Main Street and one on Harvey. There are multiple porches. It's the porch on the Main street side, that goes up the driveway alongside the abortive cedar tree hedge, where I park my painted Volvo. That porch is the one this woman shows up on. 

It's an elderly couple and mother in law who live there at that porch.  When they leave for work, this woman shows up when they are not home and stands on the porch bellowing like a fog horn screaming death threats at me, yelling crazy demon and alien slander about Etiole, making the claim of putting a bomb in the tail pipe of my car, screaming about suicide demons and evil eye curses, and yelling about someone named Todd Murphy (I don't know who that is, I get the impression he's a relative or boyfriend or ex of hers or something, but I don't any one by that name, so I don't know who he is. I don't know who she is either.) She looks to be maybe 30s to 40s aged. 

She was here again yesterday. She was bragging that she got a fight started with my mother and the Atwaters on Facebook, laughing about how easy it is to get my mother and her ex fighting and the old woman was giving her hell and telling her to get off the Atwaters Facebook and leave them alone. 

This happened less then an hour after my mother made the claim that a woman of the same short haired blond description, assaulted her and my father at an ATM machine, the blond woman claiming to my mother to be my father's girlfriend, my father claiming he never saw her before. 

All this happened on April 10, 2022, the 7 year anniversary of the murder of my foster children, and the blond woman who was here in my driveway after the ATM attack was bragging the anniversary is why she is instigating the fighting between my parents. 

I did not see the ATM attack, so, I do not know what happened other then what my mother and father are saying. 

I did however see her here in my driveway.

She does not live here. She's shows up in a silver pick-up truck driven by a small skinny blonde man. No one here at this building knows who she is.

There is another blonde woman, older sometimes with her. I do recognize the older woman. She's one of the November 14, 2013 golf club attackers. The one the others who were with her called "Claire". She looks to be in her 60s. Usually wears a blue denim button down man's worksheet as a coat. She sometimes drives a gold Volvo suv around 2004vintage, sometimes a silver Subaru suv, sometimes a mega sized white Nissan 4 door white pick-up truck, and sometimes a pine dark green pick up truck. She frequently has another older woman with her, who calls herself "Kendra" and has very, very long natural red curly hair, sometimes she wears big Janis Joplin glasses and sometimes cyberpunk cyclops lime green glasses, she frequently carries a small white poodle dog. The dog is often wearing either a purple dragon or a black skeleton costume. These 2 older women and a younger bald man are the 2013 golf club attackers who murdered my baby. This new younger blond woman and the 5 who are often with her, appear to be their relatives. The FBI believes they are part of a drug gang from Connecticut that call themselves "The Cyr Clan". According to the FBI the Cyr Clan was a gang that my uncle Bruce was involved with back in the 1960s in Boston before I was born. The FBI believes Bruce pissed them off in the early 2000s and that's what brought them up here to Maine.

The FBI believes they were after either one of Bruce's daughters or one of Bruce's sisters with both the November 2013 and April 2015 attacks.

One of Bruce's daughters also lives on Portland Ave in Old Orchard Beach and she also has a pink motor home. So there are TWO pink motor homes on the same street. This particular daughter of Bruce IS in fact a porn star. She's a pole dancer for a top less bar.

In 2016, there was another large scale attack, near duplicate to the April 10, 2015 attack. I never talk about it because it didn't happen to me. It happened to Bruce's daughter across the street from me. The attack on her family was bigger, bolder, and bloodier, than the attack on my family the previous year.

In 2017, a third similar attack happened in Biddeford to one of Bruce's sisters. Again I don't talk about it because it didn't happen to me.

Like I've said before there is A LOT MORE going on, then what you hear me talking about. I don't talk about what has happened to several of my cousins and their families both the Atwater cousins and the Murphey cousins- because it is not my place to do so. That's why you ONLY hear me talking about what directly happened to me personally and never mentioning the rest.

And I've not said everything that happened to me. A lot more has happened to me then you hear about because the FBI has specifically requested I don't talk about specific aspects of what happened to me and my children, because a lot was never released to the public, because they want to see who knows what. Certain things no one in the public should know about and knowing those things marks you as involved. This new young blonde woman KNOWS several of those things that were not released to the public and yells those things. Which means she is VERY INVOLVED with the murder of my children. 

Like I said until summer and fall of 2021 when started walking again for the first time in 9 years, I was unaware of the local gossip that was falsely accusing me of being gay, falsely accusing me of being transgender, falsely accusing me of being transvestite, falsely accusing me of being a porn star, falsely accusing me of being an Erotica author, or falsely accusing me of being an alien abduttee. 

I have lived here since 1975. You people know me. You people knew my murdered children. You people know I'm a cis female. You people know I'm not gay. I have published 138 novels and more then 2,000 short stories since 1978, and I  have sold 27k copies of every one of them to you people who come to my house and buy them in person, so you've read my books and know they are not Erotica. You people know I've been a devoted orthodox LDS Mormon my whole life, and that I've been with Ben for 37 years, so you know I'm not a porn star. 

What is wrong with you people? My family was murdered and I have spent 9 years recovering from medical hell, and I go outside for the first time in 9 years and find you people who know me have all devolved into gay hating, sex spewing, gibberish slandering gossips spreading vile, evil, malicious rumors and lies that you yourselves know to be untrue?

No wonder not a single one of you have helped my family through any of this. No wonder not a one of you ever once visited me at the hospital or my home after I got out of the hospital and couldn't go outside because I couldn't walk. 

You don't see me for 9 years because I'm bedridden and you're all to cold hearted to stop by and check in on me, and you spend that 9 years spinning wild, crazy transphobic, gay hating, sex filled lies about me?

What is wrong with you people?

You all let some stranger, who very likely IS the murderer, convince you of crazy ass slandering lies, that you people know to be untrue. 

You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. 

Every resident of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine,  you all ought to be ashamed of what you have spent the last 9 years doing.

This new younger blonde woman, she's the one who keeps saying my car has a suicide demon in it and yelling about Todd, saying my car caused him to die.

I don't know who she is, but she's the same one who used to show up at 27 High st, also Biddeford and scream "nasty bitch" at me and acuse me of being an Erotica author and porn star. (Which she did during several Witcher 3 livestreams on Twitch, you can see her doing it if you go back and watch my VOD). I am neither an Erotica author or a Porn star, and she had throughout 2016 to 2019 arrived at High st with 5 others, one a blond man with a silver pick-up truck, one a black man with a yellow Mitsubishi with new York plates, one a very obese woman with blond Shirley Temple sausage curls, and the other two hooded men with a navy blue Buick sedan. If you remember the Christmas Eve 2016 livestream when the gang attacked my high st apartment and screaming "transvestite freak" that's them. This that same woman who also slanders me by calling me transvestite and transgender, which I am neither. I am a cis female, I've had 7 miscarriages, and the 1 baby that made it full term was murdered November 14, 2013 by 3 people with golf clubs, who are suspected to be, these same people. 

One day when I went downstairs to get the mail on high st, a mailbox that was in the lobby and you had to go through 2 sets of doors and foyers to get to, she had her hand in the mailbox and when I came out the door she yelled "I wasn't stealing your mail" threw our mail on the ground and ran off.

She knows the Martals, (Aunt Barbara ex, uncle Paul Martal,  the one in prison for building the Boston Marathon bomb in 2013, Mike's father, those Martals) she was staying with them for a few months in 2016. Is somehow connected to Barbara (the one who wrote all those emails in 1997 pretending to be me, when I did not yet have email or internet or a computer at the time, and I had not yet heard of email and didn't even know what email was, back when Barbara wrote all those alien abduction emails about Etiole and pretending I wrote them.)

She has short straight blond hair and sometimes dyes it dark red or purple. I know she follows both me and my mom and most of the Atwaters and my 3 younger brothers (though not my 2 older brothers as the oldest is in prison and the 2nd oldest is dead) on Facebook because she keeps saying that "I read on Facebook…" when she's in my driveway.

She shows up at Walmart to yell at me sometimes, and sometimes shows up while I'm walking Mickey. She talks about Etiole and White Monkey a lot when yelling, which is strange because that's stuff Brucie and Daddy used to write in their letters to Bishop Morgan back in Cape Elizabeth in 1990s. 

I'm not the one who calls him Etiole that's always been Bruce and Barbara who did that. I know his real name and use his real name.. They don't know his real name. And my father is only one who uses the term White Monkey. The white monkey was Helen Pearlys pet back in 1970s, it had nothing to do with Etoile, I don't know why he keeps saying it does.. My father is the only one who ever makes that connection. I've never called Etiole a demon or alien, again that has always been my father, Barbara and Brucie who said the alien and demon stuff. I don't believe in aliens or demons, but they do. (Etiole if you don't know is a local elderly homeless man who has backpacked around New England since 1953, and since 1978 I let him camp on my farm in Old Orchard Beach when he's in the area. He's covered with scars from WW2 and they call him an alien and demon because of his scars. They refuse to believe he is a human, which just goes to show how absolutely stupid they are.)

In November an elderly man came over and started asking me why I was emailing him about Etiole and I'm not, I don't use email. He said he was getting over 300 emails a day about Etiole all claiming to be from me. He said there are hundreds of email addresses getting copies of this email. You remember when Barbara and Brucie used to send emails back in 1997 claiming they were from me but we didn't have computer or internet back then? I think it might be Barbara sending those emails again like she did back then. I can't think of who else could be doing it.

This sometimes blond, sometimes red hair, sometimes purple hair woman, also mentions these emails when she is in my driveway yelling at my Volvo at 409 Main street. 

FBI agent Andy Drewer has found and shut down, so far 27 Facebook accounts, all pretending to be me. He said all of them were owed by Brucie. These fake "Eelkat" accounts appear to be the source of a lot of what this blond woman says and is suspected that she may be one of the people behind writing them.

Keep in mind, Brucie is dead. He may have started those Facebook accounts, but he ain't the one writing them. He died 3years ago.

Mervin Bruce Atwater died from Covid19 on November 24, 2019.

The fact remains you ARE impeding an FBI investigation into the murder of my family, and only someone involved would have any reason to do that. ONLY someone connected to the murderer would have a motive to try to stop the FBIs investigation. That makes you an accessory to murder. You make yourself look VERY GUILTY of being involved every time you spread slanders about me, my car, or Etiole. 

Do consider that the source of your slander in all likelihood is the murderer, please tell FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 at the Portland FBI office on Middle street, the name of the person who is telling you to slander me.

And now tomorrow is Easter. 

A day when mothers take their children on Easter egg hunts.

My children are dead.

My children were murdered. 

And you people have spent the last 9 years making fun of that.

Think about THAT tomorrow when you are out on Easter egg hunts with your babies.

Think about how YOU would feel if it was YOU. How would YOU feel if it had been your baby who was murdered and this entire town was spreading bullying slanderous lies about YOU.

If you know who this blond woman is, please tell FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 at the Portland FBI office on Middle street. She is wanted for questioning about her connection to the November 14, 2013 murder of my baby and attempted murder of me, and the April 10, 2015 murder of my foster children and the September 26, 2016 hit and run attack on my car and the February 2019 vandalism to 27 High st apartment building, and the November 2021 attack on my Volvo and the March 10, 2022 attack on my Volvo and the April 10, 2022 ATM attack on my parents. 



Update April 11, 2022: Do you know who this woman is?

This woman that my mother is talking about, have any of you ever seen her? Does anyone know who she is?

It isn't that woman who keeps coming on the porch and yelling at my car is it? Do any of you know who the woman attacking my car is?

The location is 409 Main Street, the big white farmhouse Victorian on the 3way corner of Harvey Lane and Cutts street, right at the train tracks. It has 2 driveways one on Main Street and one on Harvey. There are multiple porches. It's the porch on the Main street side, that goes up the driveway alongside the abortive cedar tree hedge, where I park my painted Volvo. That porch is the one this woman shows up on. 

It's an elderly couple and mother in law who live there at that porch.  When they leave for work, this woman shows up when they are not home and stands on the porch bellowing like a fog horn screaming death threats at me, yelling crazy demon and alien slander about Etiole, making the claim of putting a bomb in the tail pipe of my car, screaming about suicide demons and evil eye curses, and yelling about someone named Todd Murphy (I don't know who that is, I get the impression he's a relative or boyfriend or ex of hers or something, but I don't any one by that name, so I don't know who he is. I don't know who she is either.) She looks to be maybe 30s to 40s aged. 

She was here again yesterday. She was bragging that she got a fight started with my mother and the Atwaters on Facebook, laughing about how easy it is to get my mother and her ex fighting and the old woman was giving her hell and telling her to get off the Atwaters Facebook and leave them alone. 

This happened less then an hour after my mother made the claim that a woman of the same short haired blond description, assaulted her and my father at an ATM machine, the blond woman claiming to my mother to be my father's girlfriend, my father claiming he never saw her before. 

All this happened on April 10, 2022, the 7 year anniversary of the murder of my foster children, and the blond woman who was here in my driveway after the ATM attack was bragging the anniversary is why she is instigating the fighting between my parents. 

I did not see the ATM attack, so, I do not know what happened other then what my mother and father are saying. 

I did however see her here in my driveway.

She's the one who keeps saying my car has a suicide demon in it and yelling about Todd, saying my car caused him to die.

I don't know who she is, but she's the same one who used to show up at 27 High st, also Biddeford and scream "nasty bitch" at me and accuses me of being an Erotica author and porn star. (Which she did during several Witcher 3 livestreams on Twitch, you can see her doing it if you go back and watch my VOD). I am neither an Erotica author or a Porn star, and she had throughout 2016 to 2019 arrived at High st with 5 others, one a blond man with a silver pick-up truck, one a black man with a yellow Mitsubishi with new York plates, one a very obese woman with blond Shirley Temple sausage curls, and the other two hooded men with a navy blue Buick sedan. If you remember the Christmas Eve 2016 livestream when the gang attacked my high st apartment and screaming "transvestite freak" that's them. This that same woman who also slanders me by calling me transvestite and transgender, which I am neither. I am a cis female, I've had 7 miscarriages, and the 1 baby that made it full term was murdered November 14, 2013 by 3 people with golf clubs, who are suspected to be, these same people. 

One day when I went downstairs to get the mail on high st, a mailbox that was in the lobby and you had to go through 2 sets of doors and foyers to get to, she had her hand in the mailbox and when I came out the door she yelled "I wasn't stealing your mail" threw our mail on the ground and ran off.

She knows the Martals, (Barbara ex, uncle Paul Martal,  the one in prison for building the Boston Marathon bomb in 2013, Mike's father, those Martals) she was staying with them for a few months in 2016. Is somehow connected to Barbara (the one who wrote all those emails in 1997 pretending to be me, when I did not yet have email or internet or a computer at the time, and I had not yet heard of email and didn't even know what email was, back when Barbara wrote all those alien abduction emails about Etiole and pretending I wrote them.)

She has short straight blond hair and sometimes dyes it dark red or purple. I know she follows both me and my mom and most of the Atwaters and my 3 younger brothers (though not my 2 older brothers as the oldest is in prison and the 2nd oldest is dead) on Facebook because she keeps saying that "I read on Facebook…" when she's in my driveway.

She shows up at Walmart to yell at me sometimes, and sometimes shows up while I'm walking Mickey. She talks about Etiole and White Monkey a lot when yelling, which is strange because that's stuff Brucie and Daddy used to write in their letters to Bishop Morgan back in Cape Elizabeth in 1990s. 

I'm not the one who calls him Etiole that's always been Bruce and Barbara who did that. I know his real name and use his real name.. They don't know his real name. And my father is only one who uses the term White Monkey. The white monkey was Helen Pearlys pet back in 1970s, it had nothing to do with Etoile, I don't know why he keeps saying it does.. My father is the only one who ever makes that connection. I've never called Etiole a demon or alien, again that has always been my father, Barbara and Brucie who said the alien and demon stuff. I don't believe in aliens or demons, but they do.

(Etiole if you don't know is a local elderly homeless man who has backpacked around New England since 1953, and since 1978 I let him camp on my farm in Old Orchard Beach when he's in the area. He's covered with scars from WW2 and they call him an alien and demon because of his scars. They refuse to believe he is a human, which just goes to show how absolutely stupid they are.)

In November an elderly man came over and started asking me why I was emailing him about Etiole and I'm not, I don't use email. He said he was getting over 300 emails a day about Etiole all claiming to be from me. He said there are hundreds of email addresses getting copies of this email. You remember when Barbara and Brucie used to send emails back in 1997 claiming they were from me but we didn't have computer or internet back then? I think it might be Barbara sending those emails again like she did back then. I can't think of who else could be doing it.

This sometimes blond, sometimes red hair, sometimes purple hair woman, also mentions these emails when she is in my driveway yelling at my Volvo at 409 Main street. 

FBI agent Andy Drewer has found and shut down, so far 27 Facebook accounts, all pretending to be me. He said all of them were owed by Brucie. These fake "Eelkat" accounts appear to be the source of a lot of what this blond woman says and is suspected that she may be one of the people behind writing them.

Due to the incident yesterday it is now also believed that she is the mystery blond woman who pretends to be my father's girlfriend and harassed my mother for no reason other then to get a laugh on watching my mother fight with my father (something they do quite violently in public places, in stores, just everywhere.)

If you know who this blond woman is, please tell FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 at the Portland FBI office on Middle street. She is wanted for questioning about her connection to the November 14, 2013 murder of my baby and attempted murder of me, and the April 10, 2015 murder of my foster children and the September 26, 2016 hit and run attack on my car and the February 2019 vandalism to 27 High st apartment building, and the November 2021 attack on my Volvo and the March 10, 2022 attack on my Volvo and the April 10, 2022 ATM attack on my parents. 



Update: April 10, 2022, big violent attack, as police and FBI expected.

Today is the 7th anniversary of the murder of my family. Remember I said to watch who does what today?... My father just beat the hell out of my mother, tried to kill her. She is right now refusing to call the police. My mother claims she caught my father with a girlfriend he's had for several years now. But near as I can tell, all he did was stop to tell some random stranger how to use the ATM machine. Note, they got divorced in 1994, my mother left my father for another man, left the other man for another man after that, and left the next man for Wayne. She's been with 2 other men (possibly more) since Wayne. She has not been a part of my father's life for 30 years, but feels the need to control his life and harass him on extreme violent levels. If he does have a girlfriend, so what? She left him 30 years ago.

Wayne died during the cat court case, the 2nd one, when he sued my mother for stealing his cats and putting them in my motorhome. Wayne's father, 8 of his cats, and then Wayne himself each died a few weeks apart all from rat poison. Wayne's daughter sued my mother claiming my mother put rat poison in their food.

The fbi believes my mother did kill Wayne and his cats and believes that's why she put his cats in my motorhome. Fbi believes my mother was one who called police April 10, 2015, expecting them to arrest me, take the motorhome, and return the cats to her. She did not expect police to take cats. All the harassment and vandalism of my mom's cars is believed by fbi to be Wayne's daughter friends and relatives and family.

My family, my children were murdered in 2 attacks, one on November 14, 2013 and one on April 10, 2015, both attacks are believed by the FBI to have been attacks that were intended on my mother and the people hired mixed me and her up.

April 10, is my mother's father's birthday by the way, David Henry Atwater, it's WHY she does everything she does, all her wild crazy vandalisms to people on April 10 every year since the 1950s.


April 6, 2022 update, as the attacks on my family and property continue and now more people are in the hospital

Daddy has sepsis and they keeping him in hospital for a few days.

Sepsis is very bad.

That's what I had.

You can die a few hours after it sets in if not treated.

When I was in the hospital in 2014.

That's why I was in the hospital.

I had surgery for it in march 2015.

That was the surgery on my arm.

Sepsis was in a major artery in left arm to heart. 

Side effect from when I was in hospital November 2013 when I was in wheelchair and February 2014 when I was on crutches relearning how to walk. Doctors was focused on my hip and not my spine. They didn't find the source of infection until until the mri in June 2016. 

Sepsis is why I can't walk without cane and why my lungs are messed up and why I have tremors and can't use my hands good anymore. Sepsis infection was so back it damaged my nerves. I was scheduled for spinal column surgery September 2016, they sent me to a neurosurgeon who was supposed to be top brain surgeon in New England and he did more mri and then canceled surgery because damage to my vertebrae (from golf club attack November 2013, which is what caused all of this, including the Sepsis and is the attack that brought the fbi here they think Mark wife did it but college had no security cameras at the bug light parking lot, they investigating Mark family, Barbara family,  and Brucie family. Charges of murdering my baby and attempted murder of me) is so bad. Shattered vertebrae bone fragments are severed into my spinal column nerve bundle at the sacroiliac joint where the hip and pelvis connect to spine. Neurosurgeon said he can't operate because of how nerve damage is, said if he removed bone fragments I would be paralyzed from neck down. But that is also when the source of Sepsis infection was found to be in my spine and not my hip, and that is when it finally went away because they were able to target the correct place to fix the infection.

Mark’s wife is the #1 suspect the FBI is watching, because, according to the FBI, this mysterious Mark guy, whom I have never met, never heard of prior to this, have never talked to, and have never seen, so I have no clue who he or his wife are… according to the FBI, he is friends with my mother, but only via her FaceBook account, where she hired him to put in a septic system, then gave him MY address in Old Orchard, while making the claim that SHE owned both MY land and MY motorhome, and when he asked for a picture of her so he would know who she was, she gave him a picture of ME, not herself.

According to FBI agent Andy Drewer THIS is the reason why the backhoe was driven over my house August 8, 2013 and why the golf club attackers attacked me on November 14, 2013.

According to the FBI, my mother was trying to get my land so she could sell it to use the money for a down payment on a house in Kennebunk and she used this Mark guy as her pawn to do it, by fighting with him on social media using “fake EelKat” accounts to convince him that he was dealing with me, even though I had never heard of him before.

According to the FBI, my mother started sending his family death threats, in the same way she is currently sending Todd Murphey’s family death threats, and that this is why Mark’s wife attacked with the golf clubs, murdering my baby and crippling my spine. According to the FBI, Mark’s wife thought she was attacking my mother and was unaware that both my mother, her sister Barbara, and her brother Bruce’s wife Doris were all impersonating me, using 27 different “fake EelKat” FaceBook accounts to scam Mark’s family about a septic system.

This was confirmed by the Old Orchard Beach police in October 2016, when Mark attacked my mother in person and was arrested by OOB police, that day. He made the claim, that she, my mother, was me, but the officers in question, Robin and Will, both know me and my mother and informed Mark that this was not me that he was fighting with, it was my mother, to which he said this was the woman he had been dealing with since June 2001 who had called herself EelKat in every correspondence. The police showed Mark pictures of me and he said he had never seen me before and had no clue who I was.

This event October 2016, is when both the police and FBI started expanding their investigation, now looking for people who were friends of my mother, her sister Barbara, and her brother Bruce, and that is when they found the identity of long time stalker and bomb builder Kendra Silvermander who turned out to be a FaceBook friend of all 3 of them.

After Mark’s gang found out October 2016 that I was NOT the person they had been fighting with online, but rather it had been my mother impersonating me, the attacks on my family stopped but the attacks on my mother’s family started February 2017 when a road grader drove 75 feet up her driveway and flattened her car. Since then this event was repeated with 3 more cars.

In August 2021, My mother and her sister began impersonating me on FaceBook and with emails, yet again, and as they had done in the past, used my friend Etiole to do it. Once again, calling him a demon and an alien and a cryptid, and once again pretending to be me, they wrote a lot of emails and started mass spam sending them to every Maine email address they could find, at a rate of sending them to several thousand people a day.

I found out about this in November 2021, after Etiole was shot, gunned down by 6 people at Rotary Park in Biddeford, Maine on November 21, 2021, by people who claimed to be from Scarborough, Maine and claimed to be the mother and in laws of some guy named Todd Murphey.

I still have no clue who Todd Murphey is, but apparently he used to work with my mother and commit suicide recently and my mother and her sister took advantage of his suicide to yet again pretend to be me, and this time, calling Etiole a suicide demon, started harassing this Todd guy’s ex wife, son, and mother on FaceBook and via emails while pretending to be me. Which caused these people to show up at my 409 Main Street/Harvey/Cutts street Biddeford apartment to vandalize my car and cut all the wires off the apartment building, not once, but twice: on Thanksgiving day 2021 and again on March 10, 2022, because these friends and family of this Todd guy are 100% convinced the nut they are dealing with on FaceBook is me, when in fact, the one they are dealing with is no me, but rather my mother yet again pretending to be me.

This is also what led to the December 2021 and January 2022 FBI raids in the Cutts Street are of Biddeford, just a few weeks ago, which led to the arrests of 8 people.

Back to sepsis…

On December 24, 2021, my mother arrived here at 409 Main street and stole my father’s 14 medications that he takes for his triple by pass, his kidney dialysis, his diabetes… and then, she took him in her car, drove to his doctor, and told his doctor, he’s not allowed to have medicine, because he has to do what she says.

He has not taken his medicine since December 24, 2021, it is today April 6, 2022, and he is struggling to stay alive.

All of this is because she is hell bent on a house in Kennebunk and doesn’t give a shit that she has caused my baby to be murdered November 14, 2013, my foster children to be murdered April 10, 2015, me to be going through a decade long medical nightmare after being crippled November 14, 2013, 5 of my cars to be destroyed including The real Cristine The World’s Most Haunted Car that Stephen King based his Cristine off of, my house -the one that was in the Thinner movie- to be driven over by a back hoe, and now my father dying in the hospital.

Death and destruction at every turn, and she doesn’t give a shit because, as she puts it: “What are we going to do about Wendy? She can’t keep that land, I need a house in Kennebunk!”

Her obsession with getting a house is utter ludicrous insanity, that needs to be stopped before anyone else dies at the hands of her fucking retarded FaceBook friends who blinding attack, vandalize, and beat up anyone and everyone on her command.

I am so fed up with her blind devotion to a fairy tale house she thinks she has to have, at the expense of the lives of everyone around her.



March 30, 2022, update on yet another attack on my family and land

Police take notice. 


Scam artists have been bringing real estate agents onto my property in attempt to illegally sell my land. They have no right or permission to be here. My land is NOT for sale. If you see them doing it, please arrest them.

These are the Scottish Travellers. They arrive here every summer, harassing my family for four decades now. They are the same ones who drove a backhoe over my house August 8, 2013. The same ones who crippled me and murdered my baby November 14, 2013 with golf clubs, leaveing me paralized with a broken spine ever since. I am cripled with a shattered spinal column since the golf club attack and am bedridden weeks to a time unable to sit up or get out of bed. I have rebuilt my house 5 times in the past 9 years, and their attempts to steal my land and sell it have been barbaric and violent, and icluded a bomb that blew up my house October 18, 2006, and most of my family is now dead, murdered at their hands. These are the same people who cut my 1964 Dodge 330 in half May 10, 2010. They arrived back here September 19, 2020 and illegally cut down most of the trees across my lawn, and arrived again November 19, 2021 and for the last 20 years they arrive every summer with a green dump truck and dump garbage on my lawn. In 2014 they left a pile of garbage 175 feet long, 30 feet wide and 12 feet tall and it cost me $12,000 to have it removed. I am crippled and elderly and there is no one to help me against their harassment.

There should NEVER be anyone other than me EelKat Wendy C Allen (with the painted Volvo) or my partner Benjamin Wildes (with the blue Honda) in my yard at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, where the ink motorhome is parked. If you see ANYONE ELSE or any other car in my yard, please call the police immediately. There is no one else who has permission to be on my land.

My land is NOT for sale, if you see real estate agents, please inform them they are being scammed and the people trying to sell my land are NOT the legal land owners.

The FBI are on the look out for them as are the local police. If you see them in my yard, please notify both the Old Orchard Beach Police Department at 207-934-4911 and FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 at the Portland FBI office on Middle street.





March 10, 2022 update on the most recent vandalism of my car

This is a copy of the letter that has been forwarded to the police departments involved. For this online edition some parts have been removed (so if you get to a place that seems like the topic changed abruptly, that is why) and the names are removed from the online version, but the version the police have, includes all the full names and contact info of all the people in question. And for those who have asked: yes, the police and FBI have talked to Etiole, they are fully aware of him, his health, his homelessness, etc.

Dear Sirs,

I feel I need to tell you what has been happening as it has gotten very much out of control the past few weeks. It's been slowly escalating for a few years and, if you look at my police record for both Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, you will see dozens of reports for vandalism of my 1992 Volvo 240 (the painted one) at now 3 apartments in Biddeford, and vandalism of my land in Old Orchard Beach. In the past 6 months, a hyper escalation started with has become very out of control the past couple of weeks.

Last night, my car was vandalized again.  

As these events are taking place in both Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, I'm giving this same letter to both departments, so events from both towns are listed.

I am Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine and 409 Main Street apartment 101 Biddeford, Maine.

There appears to be someone fairly local impersonating me online, and is raising hell with a lot of local people, inciting them to do very violent physical attacks on me, my Biddeford apartment, my Old Orchard land, and my car.

It's reached the point where I can not go to the store without having my car towed home, because it gets vandalized so bad while I'm n the store shopping. EVERY TIME I go to the store. I've been at a loss to understand why this is happening. I don't know who these people are or why they are attacking. On Thanksgiving day they cut all the wires off the Biddeford apartment building so we had no internet or heat or anything for a while. There is a "redhaired" woman who shows up on the front porch to cream at my car, every time the family who lives in that apartment goes to work. She stopped a few weeks ago, because the man who lives there fell on the ice, broke his shoulder and has not gone to work since. It appears she knows that family who lives there and does not want them knowing she does this while they are not home.

A few weeks ago an old man walked up to me, asked if I was EelKat and then asked me why I kept emailing him, and I said I don't email anyone cause I don't use email. He said some days he gets over 300 emails a day from someone claiming to be EelKat.

 

We are Gypsies, and though I've lived in America my whole life, I know very little of American habits and laws or what specifically to do in this situation. We are the Gypsies who were in Stephen King's Thinner movie and my 146 Portland Ave land was one of the filming locations of the movie and, the cars in the opening scenes were our cars, one of which I still have. I mention this, because, there are two Gypsy clans, The Atwaters (Scottish Travellers) and the Cyrs (Irish Travellers) fighting over my land and the fight centres largely around the fact that it was the filming location of Stephen King's the Thinner movie.

I own the land. From the 1940s it was owned by my grandmother Helen Ricker Allen. She left it to me in her will in 1983. Unknown to me, at some point after 1983, the Atwaters had the land illegally transferred into their names -they steal land this way as a full time career and many of them have illegally deed swapped land in all 50 states in America.

In 2014, I found out they are done an illegal deed swap, when an auction group showed up on my land to sell it. Upon discovery I had been living on the land since 1975 and paying taxes on it since 1983, but my name was not on the deed, the auctioneer (and member of the OOB town hall) cancelled the auction and ordered a town hall meeting to review the situation. Upon investigation it was discovered that when the land went from my grandmother to me, my father signed as "joint witness" and then a year later, went back to the town hall to have my name removed from the deed and his put on it, even though he had no legal write to do so. After that, the record shows that every 3 to 5 years, he and my mother swapped names on the deed, sometimes his name, sometimes her name. The land changed ownership names more then 30 times between 1983 and 2013. 

Because I have severe agoraphobia, I had not set foot off of my land since the 1970s. When it came time to pay the taxes, I gave my father the money and he delivered it to the town hall, or so I thought. In 2014, I learned that in spite of my paying my taxes like clockwork, since 2006, the town hall had no record of receiving any money. It is unclear where the money went. On one hand it looks like my father spent the money and never paid the taxes. On the other hand it looks like he sometimes did pay the taxes but instead of going to the tax office he gave the money to Kathy BR in the permits office and she gave the money to a guy called JB who went to prison for embezzling $3million in OOB tax money from the town hall. JB did not work for the town hall, he was a software designers who built the online banking security for the town hall to direct deposit money to the bank, and according to the FBI the money was going to his bank account not the town hall bank account, but he was only found with $30k not $3million. I don't know the full details, I only know this part, because when we tried to find out why my land was being auctioned this is the info we were given.

In any case, at some point my dad stole my land via just walking into the town hall and asking the desk clerk to remove my name from the deed and put his name on it instead. The whole thing was done illegally and without my knowledge or permission.

There were 3 lands originally. 144, 146, and 146a. My father stole all 3 of them. 144 was auctioned off to the Collard family in 2007, even though I was still living there until 2015 without any knowledge of the auction happening. No one informed me. I've since spoken with the Collards and they were unaware of the situation. They actually bought the land legally even though it was stolen land they had bought, they were unaware the land had been stolen. Everything has been straightened out between me and the Collards, they are not part of the current problem.

My mother owns 146a, but she owns it illegally. She claims it's rightfully hers because my father gave it to her, but, he stole it from me via illegally rewriting the deed, so he had no right to give it to her.

In 2014 and 2015, all the court and legal work was done to restore 146 back to me.

The current situation is my parents are in an active attempt to remove my name off the deed again, like they had done back in 1983.

On a daily basis my mother shows up and first words out of her mouth every day is: "What are we going to do about Wendy? She can't keep that land. I need a house in Kennebunk." to my father.  She started doing this in August, originally bragging that she was going to take my land out of retaliation for my refusal to cast death curses on Chris at work. I don't know who "Chris at work" is. It was one of the names on her list of people she wants me to kill via death spell curses. I was live streaming on Twitch the day she came in yelling about "Chris at work" and my need to kill him for her, so a lot of people online heard her saying these things. I'm a YouTube gamer, I have a livestream going almost daily for 12+ hours a day, so when she comes in, #1 it's breaking and entering because I didn't let her in, and #2 she is interrupting my live streams quite regular so I have hundreds of video footage clips of her saying these things and making these threats. The day she and my father cut the cable/internet wires off my apartment building - I have that on livestream footage as well. My father cut the wires off the house while my mother was ordering him to do it. In November 2021 and again 2 days ago March 9, 2022.

They both make the claim I don't need internet, because I am as they put it "being a bad daughter" because I "won't sell your land and give me the money for a down payment, I need a down payment, you are supposed to give me the down payment money for a house, I'm your mother!"'

As for what happened to my car March 9, 2022 - my father, my father vandalized my car and tried to make it look like my brother  did it. My father stuffed the tailpipe full of McDonald's ketchup packets that he stole from the Biddeford McDonald's where my brother works, which is what caused the fuel line to blow up. I could have died. My car is now being repaired again, for the exact same thing I had to have it repaired for in November 2021. My father tried to kill me and make it look like my brother who works at McDonald's did it so my brother would be blamed. Twice. Once in November 2021 and again 2 days ago.

My father did the same thing in November, because of some guy named Todd who I supposedly convinced to kill himself via may painting a "suicide demon" on my car. There is a picture of Etiole on my car, that is what they are calling "a suicide demon"

I don't know who Todd is, but I assume the Biddeford police know as they did spend a week scrapping the thousands of exploded parts of him off all the houses around Cutts st and South st, after he jumped in front of a train November 19, 2021 at 6:27PM. I was walking my dog and saw him, he was gibbering a lot of wild nonsense stuff like: "fibbery-gibbit-beebydi-booop-bop-boop-bop-booop-beeeeeeeep!" I amused he was either very drunk or very high on drugs or both and was attempting to make train sounds while he ran up and down the train tracks. I thought nothing of it, as he did this on a daily basis all summer long, he was a homeless man who lived in the ravine by the train tressal bridge over the river, the one the police kept chasing out of the black grain building turned storage units. There were 4 people on bicycles, driving circles around him bullying him, teasing him, taunting him daily around 3AM every morning. I saw them while I was walking my dog. It appeared to be his girlfriend and her friends based on the stuff she was yelling at him. Stuff like "You run off with that whore will you! WW I showed you! I killed your dog! Hahahahahaha! I killed your cat! Hahahahaha! And you ain't never gonna see your baby again! Hahahahaha!" I know every one says he commit suicide, but I think he was just running to get away from the harassers on the bikes and was too drunk to see the train. That's certainly what it looked like to me.

THAT was not a suicide, not what I saw happen. That was a man being bullied and chased down by four harassers riding bicycles up the tracks, driving him head on into a train on purpose to try to kill him so they could laugh about it. I wouldn't call THAT a suicide.

Anyways, I didn't know his name or that my mother was best friends with him. Though I had told her about the homeless man being bullied and her response was "Why should I care? It's just a homeless man!" She changed her tune quite a lot after he got hit by the train, and found out his name. The police contacted her or something, when they were trying to find his family. I guess she knew his family on FaceBook or something.

Since his death, me, my car, and my apartment have been attacked on a near daily basis from people who are making the claim that I am online spreading rumours and lies about Todd. I kept asking them who Todd was (because at that point I did not yet know they were talking about the homeless man hit by the train - though I saw him daily for about 4 months, ever since the police kicked him out of the storage until he'd been living in and he lived under the train bridge and in Rotary Park instead - he only ever spoke to me a few times - once to pet my dog and say "they took my dog" and saying "hi" as we passed on the sidewalk. So I never knew his name. He lived in a yellow pup-tent beside the tracks for a while, but one day it was laying out there cut to ribbons by a knife or scissors.)

Even though I only knew him from saying "hi" each night as we passed each other on the sidewalk and I never knew his name until after his death, more then a dozen people have arrived in my driveway (both the Biddeford and Old Orchard addresses) to accuse me and my friend Etiole and the words painted on my Volvo of being the cause of this Todd guy's train death.

They are focusing heavily on the words on my car, which say: "Have information about the murder of my family? Call FBI @ 207-774-9322"

There is a sign in my Old Orchard driveway which says: "Have information about the murder of my children? Call FBI @ 207-774-9322"

On November 14, 2013, at Southern Maine Community College, while I was 8 months pregnant, I was attacked by 3 people with golf clubs. A man and 2 women.

There is no reason for anyone who is NOT involved in the murder of my baby, to be upset about either the sign in my yard or the sign on my car, both of which are nothing more then the FBI phone number with the request for anyone who has information to call.

I don't understand why me asking for people to help find my baby's killer, is seen by my parents as such a huge threat. The only person who who feel threatened by that would be the person who hired the golf club people - Claire, Kendra, and the bald man - who have still not yet been found/caught/identified to this day 9 years later.

Both my mother and my father keep saying and I quote "take that shit off your car, you are only trying to start trouble!" and "get that sign out of your yard, you are only trying to stir stuff up". I'm trying to find the people who murdered my baby and left me crippled for the rest of my life. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not trying to cause trouble. How is me asking people to help identify the murderer, me trying to start trouble?

I was paralyzed for 5 months. I had to relearn to walk. I crippled the rest of my life, and my baby is dead. No one should have to live through this type of agony. And no one who commits crimes like this should be allowed to walk free. Would you stand back and do nothing, say nothing, while a criminal like that walked free? How is my asking people to come forward with any information they know, me trying to start trouble? You tell me that!

I'm not allowed to ask for help in finding the psychopath who murdered my baby and left me crippled for the rest of my life? What kind of logic is that?

Someone out there knows the names of these people. The older blond woman they called Claire, the younger blond woman with the Shirley Temple sausage curls, the red haired woman they call Kendra, the white haired man with the green pick up truck, the bald man with the 4door white pickup truck, the new redhaired women who screams on the front porch. These people, this group, they are the ones who were wielding golf clubs and murdered my baby. They are being allowed to get away wit murder and I'll spend the rest of my life demanding justice if I have to. You tell me, how is my asking if you know who they are, don't let them kill again, tell the FBI everything you know, by painting that request on my car and a sign in my yard, me looking to start trouble? My mother's priorities are fucked up. All she cares about is money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money! 

I'm the bed ridden, crippled by multiple attacks. The November 14, 2013 golf club attack, I was almost healed from, but the June 2016 shopping cart attack at my workplace at Scarborough WalMart re opened the 2013 injury and doctors can't operate this time because of the bone shards severing my spinal column. I'm crippled for the rest of my life and no one in this family ever cared. 

Both attacks the FBI wanted to talk to my parents and they refused to talk to him both times. My baby was murdered in the first attack. I was 8 months pregnant and all any of them would do was gibberish about "rosemary baby" and say there was no baby because it was a demon because it was Etiole's. My parents and the Atwaters hate Etiole that much, that they shun the existence of my baby and act like it was never there. That's how much they hate me. That's how cruel and hate filled they are towards me. They spent the last 50 years calling me demon possessed and them saying that is WHY local people attack me and killed my baby and left me crippled for the rest of my life. 

I am in bed 15 or more hours a day, I can barely sit up, I can barely stand up long enough to cook, I have to wear adult diapers since 2013 because half my organs don't work any more because the nerves from those organs to my spine are cut off. My hands shake so bad that it takes me hours to eat a single meal. I can't go back to college, I can't go back to work. But do they care? No. Not my mother. Not my father. Neither of them give a shit. They are both too damned selfish thinking about their own greed to ever once lift a finger to help me. Daddy treats me like a fucking slave and my mother is so far out of my life shunning me because bishop kenning in Saco ward told her too that she hasn't got a clue how bad things are.

I'm not doing a damned thing to any of them. I mind my own business. I write my novels. I don't contact them. I don't talk to them. I don't talk about them.  Someone is clearly pretending to be me online and is slandering me and getting sick of it. My mother flips out about everything thing under the sun and I never have a clue what she's talking about, because I never did or said any of the things she accuses me of. And my father and the Atwaters do the same thing. Some one is out there pretending to be me to get them worked into a frenzy just to sit back and laugh while watching my mother, my father, and the Atwaters be too damned stupid to think. My mother and my father and the Atwaters are all filled with so much pure hatred for me that it takes nothing to convince them to attack me. And whoever it is posting online pretending to be me, knows that and is taking advantage of it. 

They are obsessed with my land, because my mother's father used to tell people there was $7million in gold buried on my land. Several times over the years the Atwaters have invaded bringing with them shovels, pickaxes, and construction equipment, to illegally dig up my land. They've ripped up flowers, dug up bushes, cut down trees... usually they do it while I'm gone to the store, so I come back to find my property ripped to shreds. They've been doing this on an almost yearly basis since Grammy Helen died in 1983. According to what David Henry Atwater claimed, pirates buried treasure on my land in the 1500s. There is ZERO evidence that pirates ever buried anything on my land. Later he changed the story and said that the gold plates of the Book of Mormon Part 2 were buried on my land, this time he claimed an angel from god told him. So the Atwaters have multiple excuses for why they arrive to dig everything up, but it's always that they are gold crazy and have gold fever and are convinced if they dig long enough they'll find gold on my land.

The other obsession they have with my land is a homeless man they call "Etiole". They sometimes claim he is a demon, they other times claim he is an alien, for a few years they called him a cryptid, they often say he's the Mememegwasi spirit of the Saco River Curse, a few of them say he's a watcher/fallen angel, some say he's a ghost of an Indian chief, some say he's the ghost of a French solider, some have called him a Faerie/Leprechaun/FarDarrig ... and a whole slew of other claims. Regardless of what they call him, they all adimintly refuse to believe that he is just an ordinary human, an elderly homeless man who keeps to himself and desperately wants them to leave him alone. That's all he is. He's just a homeless man who lives in the woods and wants them to leave him alone.

The Atwaters are obsessed with Etiole on severe levels and have gone to alarming levels of monstrous harassment of him through the past 50 years. Part of their obsession with him, is caused by their previously mentioned gold fever. You see, Etiole travels all over Maine, I never know where he is at any given time, but when he's in the local area, I let him camp out on my land. I've let him stay with me like this for over 40 years. In the 1980s, one of the times they arrived to dig up my land, Etiole was sleeping in my 1964 Dodge 330, and according to them, he jumped out of the car and "threw blue lighten bolts" at them causing a tornado to destroy their construction equipment. They claimed he turned into a black serpent with red eyes and 6 blue wings that was hundreds of feet long, surrounded them and killed several of them by summoning lightning bolts. . . . uhm . . . yeah. I wasn't home so I didn't see this event, of Etiole supposedly attacking them. But it's pretty clear they had some sort of massive LSD hallucination, given many of them heavily used LSD back in the 1970s and 1980s when this event happened. According to Etiole, he just jumped out of the car and ran into the swamp to hide, he didn't see any of the stuff they described.

After that they got it into their heads that I had summoned a demon (and that Etiole was said demon) to protect my secret cache of pirate gold, and their battle cry of "kill the demon" is what caused them to blow up my house with a bomb October 18, 2006, drive over my house with a backhoe August 8, 2013, beat me up with golf clubs and murder my baby November 14, 2013, cut my 1964 Dodge 330 in half May 10, 2010. All those things you have all those police reports about.

They are convinced Etiole is in my yard to keep them from my gold. The only problem is, there is no gold on my land. Etiole is not a demon, and their extreme levels of harassment are utterly insane! 

But then, when they get caught on my camera, because I'm a daily vlogger, so the camera is running all the time, them they accuse me of harassing them, because their faces showed up on my livestream. Uhm... I'm on y own land, in my own bedroom, usually a few hours into my daily livestream when they get caught in the background trespassing. That's NOT me harassing them. That's them trespassing and vandalizing, and breaking and entering while not realizing I was home and them getting caught in the act of vandalizing and trespassing.

Then they run to FaceBook and make all kinds of wild claims about me stalking them. I'm crippled. I can't even get out of bed. Every time I have them on camera, it's because they were trespassing and breaking and entering. I'm in my bedroom livestream a game on my computer and they'll be smashing out windows and get mad that it happened to be the window in line with my livestream webcam on my computer. That's NOT be stalking them. That's me laying in bed playing Witcher 3 and them breaking in.

I'm too damned sick and crippled to even attempt to do half the crazy shit my mother and my father are accusing me of. And what's worse, my father is right here in the same apartment with me. He sees me every day, he knows how bad off my health is. 

Look how much I'm bleeding all over the house every day. Massive nose bleeds that last for hours to a time, not bleeding from my nose. Just coming out of my nose. I'm so dizzy I can't sit up for weeks to a time. I faint and blackout when I try to get up to go to the bathroom. The pain in my hip and pelvis and knee and spine is so bad I can't even move my fingers to type my novels. 

And look at what they do. Do they really think I'm physically capable of doing the things they accuse me of? They are so damned self centred and paranoid. It's all I can do just to sit up and eat something, how the hell do they think I can do the stuff they accuse me of? My day is spent focusing on trying to get my leg to move so I can make a meal, I don't even have time to think about them. 

It looks more and like my mother and my father are doing this stuff on purpose to try to kill me. My father knows how bad off my heart and lungs are and how difficult it is for me to breath after just a couple of steps. His mother left that land to me in her will in 1983. He stole it, had it put into his name illegally. He's been pissed ever since her death, because she gave everything to me not him. That's been a big problem for him for the last 40 years. He raves about it alongside his ravings about going to Utah taking him off the fire department. He hates my mother because of Utah, blames her every day for losing his fire department pension. He raves about it all night long every single night. He blames me for his mother disinheriting him. He raves about that all the time too. I was only grandchild That's why she left everything to me. Including the land that he stole and put in his name. That land is rightfully mine, his mother gave it to me, and he can't stand it. He's needling my mother about the land just to spite his mother.

He's only trying to get the land away from me because he is mad that the town didn't take it. His mother wanted it to stay in the family. It had been in her family since 1530. Her family was the original settlement family of Old Orchard and my land is that spot that the first house in Old Orchard was built.  My father stopped paying taxes to spite his mother and lose the land. He said so many times. He was angry when I bought the land back from the town. He still is. He wants it out of the family because his mother wanted it in the family. That's why he's trying to turn my mother against me over the land. Because he gates his own mother that much.

Keep in mind the 4 door white truck showed up at my workplace daily. Even though I never knew ahead of time what store I would be working at. I was a retail merchandiser and stocked shelves at dozens of stores all over the state. Walmart's every where, CVS, khols, sometimes local, sometimes as far as Freeport and once in Vermont and once in Massachusetts.  I got the notice of which store to be at 15 minutes before I left. So the only person who ever knew where I was going was my father. 

And yet the 4 door white truck would also arrive ahead of me and be waiting. They didn't follow me, they got their first.

And the police caught the truck and the driver in 2017. Kathy BR owned the truck. Her son was the driver.

The smith's are my parents friends. My mother's visiting and home teachers for years.

Kathy was the district emergency dispatch for all the towns in the area, not just old Orchard. That's why none of the 911 calls went through during the attacks by the 4 door white truck. He only attacked while she was on duty. She never forwarded any of the calls so officers never were told to come help me.

That includes the November 14, 2013 golf club attack in South Portland. But the college security officer made a report even though the police never arrived. That big black officer who was head of security was on duty and him and 2 student officers from the police academy made the report.

And FBI found the data from the calls, that never got forwarded to police, that's why Kathy BR lost her job. Because she's the one who tampered with the 911 call files.

Tim and Kathy BR both, not together, individually, arriving separately, both arrived at my tent multiple times throughout the entire year of 2013, saying they were coming to speak to me on behalf of someone who wanted to remain anonymous. So I never knew who sent them. Each time they arrived all they would say was that I had to tear down "the little yellow house" as they called the shop. 

August 8, 2013 the backhoe drove over the shop while I was at work on the food truck down by the pier.

I never saw Tim or Kathy again after that. Not once. And these were people who stopped by to visit my parents daily for over 40 years. Since August 8, 2013 and the backhoe attack on my house, Kathy and Tim have gone to alarming extreme levels to avoid running into me. They just down the street, on one of the private drives, so it's difficult to avoid running into me, and we used to see them a few times a week at local grocery stores. They both, if they see me in a store, literally throw whatever they are carrying across the store and run out of the store like they have a pack of rabid wolves on their heels. It's pretty fascinating thing to see.

My cousin and next door neighbour Tim Murphy was murdered that same week, a few days before the backhoe. His body was left at the cascade Ross road crossroad. 14 days later his head was left at the Portland Ave Ross road crossroad road. His mother put up the big white cross a month later. 

Note that there were THREE 4-door white trucks, a smaller one, a larger one, and a mega-sized giant one -like a Dodge Power Wagon type only it was not a Dodge Power Wagon it was one of the look alike brands, possibly a Nissan. The owner and driver of the big-big-super sized one is still unidentified. The other 2 were both caught in 2017, Kathy BR's truck being the larger of the 2. The 3 trucks often showed up together and drive circles around me, on Rout 1/Portland Rd, while I was driving. They would slam my car from back and sides and push me off the road. Several times they did damage to the frame of my car with had to be repaired multiple times. They've done several tens of thousands in damages to my Volvo over the years. You already have a lot of the smashed up car photos on file, at both Biddeford and Old Orchard police departments, you each have more then a dozen reports for attacks on my car -though the FBI has said someone attempted to destroy several of the records with my name, at the Old Orchard police department. FBI said they arrested the officers who did that. I don't know which files were damaged or how. 

For several years/decades now, I have had multiple people trying to buy my land. The same people over and over again. Only buying my land is not what they are asking for. Rather, they claim my land is cursed and I have to sell it to break the curse. Crazy, I know, but that's what they say. The crazier part is they say that after I sell my land I have to hand the money over to them so they can use it as a down payment on a house they want to buy in Kennebunk. The people in question are my parents and they've been doing this for well over 20 years now. I've always said "no, I'm not selling my land" and left it at that.

My mother (she changes her last name often, I'm not sure which she currently uses) and my father my father both have become extreme hostile and violent the past 2 weeks, and I'm not sure what set them off, but they are hyper infuriated on my refusal to sell my land and give them the money for a down payment of a house in Kennebunk. 

I did not suspect them, all these years, because always been other people showing up and say they were contacting me on behalf of someone who wanted to remain anonymous, but now they are directly doing it themselves.

Starting in June 2001, lots of harassment started and at first, I did not suspect them, or think there was a connection. But now they are outright bragging to my face, that they are the ones behind the vandalism. Like I said, check the police records for 144, 146, 148 Portland Ave from June 2001 til current date. There have been dozens of attacks, including drive by shootings, the bombing of my house, the backhoe driving over my next house, me being beat up with golf clubs which is why I am crippled now for the rest of my life and how my baby died.

The FBI is involved. If you need more information beyond what I've written here,  FBI Agent Andy Drewer can be reached at 207-774-9322 he is at the Portland Office on Middle Street, he is in charge of the investigation, of several events, namely the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, which my uncle Paul Martel went to prison for building the bomb and selling it to ISIS. The 2006 bombing of the house at 144 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine. My baby was murdered November 14, 2013, a backhoe drove over my house at 146 Portland August 8, 2013 that's why I'm at the Biddeford apartment right now, because we can't get Kathy BR at the town hall to get a building permit, even though she's not the one in charge of that, she takes over our application and won't let it be approved, because she claims I shouldn't be allowed to live in Old Orchard, due to my having left the Mormon church to become a Voodoo Priestess, she says that makes me a witch and I'm not allowed to apply for a house building permit on those grounds, so, it's been 9 years and I'm still without a house on my land in Old Orchard and still stuck in a Biddeford apartment.

It is a long list of a lot of things happening. I'll try to organize it all in order:

At it's start, the whole thing goes back to a homeless man who wishes to remain anonymous, so I'm not using his real name here, nor have I ever used his real name anywhere online or offline or with any conversation with any one.

He, didn't do anything wrong. Quite the contrary, all he's ever done is live in the Ross Forest and surrounding swamps and marshes along the Saco River in Pine Point, OOB, Saco, Biddeford, and probably other areas, he moves around a lot rotating where he sets up camp, something he's done since 1953. I know quite a few people have seen him and talked to him, I don't know if any police officers have ever encountered him or not. Because he is elderly and in frail health, I often let him stay on my land. He's the ONLY person who has permission to be there. Herein lays the problem: he's deformed from acid burn scars covering most of his body. Churches around the area have spent decades accusing him of being a cryptid, alien, demon, watcher, fallen angel, you name it, someone has called him some weird conspiracy. According to him, himself, he was a Jewish WW2 concentration camp survivor, who arrived in OOB with a bunch of other refugees in 1953. Because he's so deformed by his scars, he was bullied by the locals who refused to believe him a human, and that's why he fled into the forest and never set foot in society again. The problem is, the people harassing me have made up this wild conspiracy that he's a demon and I'm protecting him, and they claim they need to get me off my land in order to get to him.

This all started in 1978.

My parents (my father and my mother), uncles (12), aunts (12+), and cousins (64 at the 1970s/1980s time - more then 400 today), teased and bullied me throughout my childhood about him, but they teased and bullied everyone about everything, so I didn't think that much of their bullying back in the 1970s and 1980s when it first started happening. It was just them being the toxic bullies that they are to everyone.

It wasn't until the 1990s and 2000s that it started to become a problem. And 207 is when I first realized how big of a problem it really was.

In 1996 and 1997 Aunt aunt B sent out lots of emails to the family claiming the emails had been written by me. I did not have email, internet, or even a computer yet. She got Dickie (Richard Merlin Atwater) and David (Atwater) and Joey (Atwater -the one who lives in Australia and is wanted by the FBI for kidnapping and selling babies back in the 1980s- FBI can't arrest him until he leaves Australia -I'm not sure why- so he became a citizen. I don't know the details of what he's wanted for.) in raving warpath over it. All three of them showed up in OOB -even Joey from Australia-though I didn't know he was wanted by the FBI back than. But they arrived here in OOB to yell at me in person, because aunt B made the claim that the emails were from me, so they were all mad at me for having written them, but I never did know the contents of the emails because I didn't write them.

I did not see the emails. I didn't have access to a computer back then ad I didn't have internet until 2007 a full 11 years later. Dickie had several of them printed out and waving them around, but I never got a chance to read what they said. One of the emails was 64 pages long, and according to Dickie was all about aliens. I know nothing about aliens, so most of what he said was just gibberish nonsense to me. This was in 1996, shortly before Heaven's Gate killed 39 people in California and at the time, all 3 of those uncles, plus a few other uncles were members of Heaven's Gate, and one uncle -Mervin Bruce Atwater-made the claim to be "the leader of the Maine division of Heaven's Gate"- I don't know if he actually was a Heaven's Gate leader or not, but he maintained that he was right up until 2019, and in April 2019 he was making the claim to be following Comet Wormwood because HaleBop was the wrong one. Like I said, they were coming up with some pretty wild alien and UFO claims and I'm not sure how much of what they claimed was true.

Well, this was the first time I heard the word "Etiole" which was the nickname they had given to the homeless man who sometimes camped out on my yard. Etiole is not his name, it's always been just the word the Atwaters call him (they say it means man from the stars or alien and that it's a French word. I don't know French, aunt B is the one who knows French, so I never would have given him a French name.) Somewhere in the emails, aunt B had called the homeless man "Etiole" and "amphibious alien" and made the claim that he was an "alien grey" who had abducted me to some mother-ship.  

I have never been abducted by aliens and never made such a claim. I never heard such foolishness. But, that this point, I wasn't fully aware of what they were talking about, so I didn't yet realize they were saying that I was making the claim to have been abducted by aliens.

That's the summer they all showed up talking about Etiole and amphibious aliens and alien abduction. aunt B was the one who started all of that stuff about Etiole, who I never called Etiole. But that was how it got started...all this stuff that is happening now with the vandalism and threats going on this week March 2022.

Bruce and Dickie went to a bunch on MUFON forums from 1996 to 2007 spreading lies about me and Etiole calling him a demon and alien and claiming I was an alien abducted. I found out about what they were doing in 2007 after they'd already been doing it for 11 years. 

I don't think aunt B has ever stopped sending out emails about Etiole while pretended to be me, I think she is still doing it. I think this, because in December 2021, I was at the Biddeford library when an elderly man came over to me, asked if I was EelKat and asked me why I was sending him hundreds of emails about Etiole, and who was Etiole? I told the man I don't use email, I've never emailed anyone, I don't know what he's talking about. He says he gets over 300 emails a day about Etiole from someone claiming to be EelKat. But here's the thing: EelKat is not something I call myself. I'll explain that in a bit.

First, let's go back to 1994. Before aunt B started sending the emails out, while claiming they were written by me. My father (my father) was the one who told the Atwaters about Etiole. My father and Dickie both called him "the white monkey". 

In 1994 and 1996 Bishop Paul Morgan asked me to his office and showed me a bunch of letters, all of them signed "The White Monkey, OST". He said the letters were written to sound like I had written them but he said he'd seen my handwriting before and knew I hadn't written these. The Bishop wanted to know if I recognized the handwriting. Some had been written by my father. Others had been written by Dickie. One was written by my mom's father David Henry Atwater who died several years ago now. This was the Mormon bishop in Cape Elizabeth. This bishop had more then one hundred letters laying on his desk, and he had several boxes more around his desk. He said he received no fewer then 5 letter every day for several months, and was quite concerned for my safety as he felt the letter writers may be "mentally unhinged" and "highly dangerous" based on what he called "several homicidal rants" contained in the letters. He said he was giving the letters to Paul Peterson, at Pine Land Centre Mental Health Institute in New Gloucester, because he felt my father and my uncle Dickie should be committed due to the contents of the letters.

The letters looked physically bizarre. Each one started like a normal letter, straight across sentences, line by line, but upon reaching the end of the page, the words spiralled around the outer edge and into a circle around the page, then upside down bottom to top between the first rows.

Each letter contained codes and cryptographers, and large portions of the letters were unreadable unless you cracked the "secret code" that was included with them.

Both my father and my uncle Dickie frequently wrote in that weird spiral and zigzag of lines fashion. My father's letters were the ones that included the cryptography and hidden codes. Dickies letters were just weird spiralling but no codes to solve.

I did not read any of the letters, but the Bishop was deeply upset by them, and stated that he used to be Catholic before becoming Mormon and said that if he was still Catholic he'd recommend my father had an excorsim down, because as the Bishop put it "the white monkey letters are the closet thing I've ever seen to demon possession".

Later that same year Paul Peterson from Pine Land Centre arrived at church and asked to talk to me. He had with him, some of the White Monkey letters and like the Bishop asked me to id the handwriting.

Stake President Earnshaw (of the same church) later called me in to his office for similar letters he had also received and again the white monkey letters were written by mostly daddy and some Dickie all pretending to be me, trying to make it look like I was pretending to be Etiole. 

In total 16 Bishops and 2 stake presidents had contacted me over the years about white monkey letters, all citing they were receiving them daily. Some said members were receiving them. When I stopped attending the Mormon church, my mother's minister's at the 15 churches she was attending at the time, all started getting the letters. (At the time my mom had a belief that she had to be in church as close to 24 hours a day as possible, so she was attending week day church services at every church that had them, even though she was not a member of most of those churches. She became an atheist last I had heard and attends no churches at all anymore as far as I know.) 

My father was in and out of the hospital a lot during this time period (1991 to 1996-ish), due to the violent fights between him and my mother which included him twice being hospitalized due to blood gushing head injuries from a brick, which also included OOB police arresting my mother for beating him said brick. The psychiatrist from Pine Land Centre felt that my dad suffered serious brain damage from one of the brick beating attacks, and wanted him to press charges against my mother, but he refused. The psychiatrist said he felt that my dad's White Monkey letters was a side effect of the multiple head injuries he was hospitalized for. 

The white monkey letters stopped in 2007 when the psychiatrist at Biddeford hospital diagnosed my father as having schizophrenia and put him on psychiatric medicine. The Biddeford police have this arrest on record. We were living at Water st at the time and my father had tried to kill me and my brother Joshua and also himself. The police arrested him. He was in the psych ward for around a week, and released because of the drastic change in his personality that was caused by the medication. He was only released on the condition that he maintained the meds.

Since 2007 no one has mentioned Etiole or the white monkey, until November 19, 2021, when things (the vandalism and harassment and threats) started escalating, the week Todd Murphy died when people started showing up in Biddeford driveway yelling about Etiole and calling him a suicide demon, claiming my Volvo was demon possessed, and accusing me of driving my car around town to drive people to suicide. I don't know who these people were. The one doing most of the yelling has very unique and very identifiable hair: it's a "high fashion" stick straight bob, like what you see in Italy Runways, super stiff as a board, stick straight, like she uses a few jars of jell to get it so straight. And a weird dark-purple tinted red. Very anime cartoon looking hair. You can't mistake it. She always wears big dark glasses, and usually has a little skinny blond man with her, who appears to be her husband or boyfriend. She frequently is beating him over the head with a baby car seat, while yelling at me and my car, while standing on the front porch of our building. They don't live here, I don't know who they re or where they come from. She did it almost every day of December, and most of the last week of November 2021.

This is the first time anyone has mentioned Etiole in years.

They call him Etiole sometimes, White Monkey other times. 

I should tell you where the term "white monkey" come from.

There was a white monkey, in OOB in the 1970s. It belonged to Helen Pearly of Pine Point and was part of her "White Animal Farm" zoo that she ran, which was a little petting zoo of all albino animals. I think it shut down in the early 1980s. Most older folks of the area remember Helen Pearly and her albino zoo animals - which included an elephant, and other such animals. Well, one day the white monkey escaped and Helen Pearly was a friend of my grandmother's (Helen Ricker Allen) and Helen Pearly showed up at 146 Portland Ave (than 862 because the road was renumbers in 1982) to tell my Grammy Helen the monkey had been seen nearby and to let her know if we saw it. Well, after that me and the other neighbour kids started going out into the swamps looking for the white monkey because Helen Pearly was offering a reward for it being returned. And one day we saw it, and tried to catch it and we followed it into the swamps and we found a homeless man out there. He was sick and starving to death. 

The white monkey belonged to Helen Pearly and has nothing to do with Etiole at all. In 1978 Helen Pearly had a pet white monkey that got lost. Me and Atwater cousin Micheal and my Murphy cousin Timmy (the one whose white cross is on the Ross rd he died in 2013) saw it in the woods out back and tried to catch it. We found Etiole the same day. Etiole is a homeless man who lives behind my land in the woods. Me and Micheal and Timmy took him food. And to this day, we still do, except Michael moved away and Timmy died in 2013 so that left just me taking care of Etiole today. Etiole is very old, probably 80s or 90s today. He's very small, not much bigger than a child, maybe around 5'1"-ish. He's covered with acid burns, scars, and tattoos. He has extreme PTSD and is terrified of the sight of people. He's very skittish, almost mute, speaks mostly with his hands, and run terrified from any people who try to get near him. The only reason he didn't run the day we found him, was because he was very sick, probably pneumonia or something like that. Had we children not found him and taken him food for the next several weeks, he probably would have died that same summer. He must have been in his 50s or 60s back then in 1978.

We told the adults about him, and they went to find him, but, they found some plants instead out there in the swamp, and my mom called the police, and the OOB police called the state police, and the state police called the FBI and the entire rest of the week was lots of police digging up lots of plants. Adam and the Babe, were 2 police officers who were left to stand watch over us children while every one else hauled out the plants. News reporters showed up and the news stations called it "Maine's largest drug raid". I don't know what drug plants look like so I don't know what kind of drugs they were. According the the FBI agents who talked to use kids (we were all 5 to 10 years old at the time) a "bad name named Bryan Cyr put those bad plants in the swamp". The FBI agents said they had been looking for Bryan Cyr and his Cyr Clan from Connecticut for several years and wanted to know had we seen him.  We had not, though we did see him about a year later when the big shoot out happened at 142 Portland Ave in front of the Dome house - the day the dome house blue up because Anne Cyr set fire to the meth lab inside- I saw her poured 3 gas cans on the house then throw several matches. Bryan fled in a robin egg blue micro-mini pick up truck, screaming that the meth lab was gonna blow. The whole house went up like a mushroom cloud. It's the only time I ever saw the Cyr Clan.) 

Adam and the Babe went with us kids to look for the sick homeless man/Etiole as he's now called by locals, but he was gone by then, because it had been 5 or 6 or more hours since the adults found the plants. The 2 police officers looked all over the forest for him, and stopped when they found a human leg bone in the Bachelder Brooke and took that with them and left to join the other officers. (144, 146, and 148 Portland Ave and the swamps and forest behind it is a massive Native American grave - there are at least 500 graves, that back in the 1970s all still had markers, most of the dates are 1400s to 1500, but in the mid 1980s someone stole most all of the slate grave markers, so they are unmarked today. I assume the leg bone was from one of those graves - human bones wash up out of the ground all the time on these sections of land because there are just so many Native American graves all over the place here, on my land and the lands abutting me. It's why the Powder Horn campground can't expand any closer to my land - they hit Native American graves last time they expanded the campground.)

So, because they got sidetracked by all the drug plants and all the police everywhere for the rest of the week, the adults never saw the homeless man or the white monkey as both had been scared off by the huge crowd of drug raid crews.

For some reason because we found him while looking for Helen Pearly white monkey my father and the Atwaters got it in their heads that Etiole was a demon alien shape shifter who turned into a white monkey to lure me and Micheal into the woods. And that's how their stupid ass alien and demon rumours got started.

I should point out, her family, The Atwaters, are the Scottish Traveller Gypsies, aka as The Scottish Mafia by several white Americans, her brothers Bruce and David and several of Davids adult children, grandchildren, and great grand children call themselves Scottish Mafia  and act every bit fitting on that title, which is both why the FBI is investigating and why I have nothing to do with them.

Right after the June attack on her car, a large group of Irish Travellers showed up from the Carilinas and Tennessee and were setting up squatting camps all around the area, The had set up a large camp on BB street behind my Main st/Cutts St apartment in Biddeford, setting up in the big chain link fenced yard on the corner (which is why the owners have since roped the land off.) I didn't think anything of it at first, because the Irish Travellers show up in Southern Maine every year for decades now, so there's nothing unusual about seeing them setting up camps on any space they can find, you see it every year. Usually they camp on the cow farms in Dayton/Buxton/North Saco area, so seeing them in Biddeford was a bit strange.

I point this out because the week they arrived on BB, my mother and her Atwater siblings and their families flipped out big time. They put heavy focus on "the brown house on the corner and the chain link fence yard across the street" and laid out to harassing the landlords of those two locations. They had a list of around 100 addresses in Biddeford, Cape Elizabeth, and many other places included Rhode Island and Connecticut. I saw the list because my mother showed up at my yard waving it around and demanding I help her and the Atwaters stage an attack on the Irish Travellers, whom she claimed was family of the man in the green truck with the 2x4 attack on her car.

A war between the Scottish Travellers/Scottish Mafia/The Atwaters and the Irish Travellers -which include The Cry Clan drug gang from Connecticut - the one the FBI is here looking for-, is the last thing I want to get involved in. Those same two clans are the ones who did the 4-5-8 shoot out back in the 1970s/1980s, when they blew up the dome house at 142 Portland Ave. They were armed to the teeth with truck loads and school bus loads of illegal military guns back in the 4-5-8 shoot out and I don't want to see what kind of weaponry that same group lugs around now 40 years later.

I am a Voodoo Priestess. Voodoo is also known as Folk Catholicism. It is a branch of the Catholic Church. Voodoo is a Christian religion, that focuses on reverence the ancestors. Hollywood Horror movies have slandered our religion to such an extent that the average person thinks Voodoo is dark magic, death spells, curses, and voodoo dolls. Those are all things that exist only in Hollywood and do not exist in real world Voodoo. The problem is made worse, when teens and young adults, not knowing the actual religion, call themselves Voodoo while practising things they see in movies.  While the older generations of Gypsies and Travellers know the difference, younger generation have fallen far from the old traditions, especially the old religion, and sadly, even among Gypsies and Travellers today, many in the age group of 60 years old and younger, only know Voodoo from Horror movies and not from their grandmother's actual practice.

I say this because my mother and her Atwaters wanted me to join then as a "figure head" for their cause. They specifically demanding I summon demons, make voodoo dolls, cast curses, and use magic to kill the list of people living at the addresses on the list they had. In short they attempted to hire me to be a quasi-hit-man for them.

When I explained to them that this is not what Voodoo is about, Voodoo is peaceful, non-violent, we shun weapons and hurtful acts of all types, they lashed out at Etiole -who was not here, it was just me they were yelling at, yelling about him. My mother called Etiole a demon, said he was my familiar, said "I know you work with demons, you can't lie to me" and "you cast death curses on people all the time you lying little bitch, you just won't do it for me because you want to spite your mother, after all I do for you!

I made a Twitch livestream video that same day, telling what was going on and what I feared was about to happen, because I have seen these same two Gypsy clans go to war with each other before.

Well, I have too much to deal with with my health. I'm bedridden 15+ hours a day, so I do nothing but play video games and write novels and edit novels, ALL of which I do on livestream - yes, I livestream for 12 to 15, sometimes 19 hours each and every single day, and I have 92TB of hard drive full of that video footage all the way back to 2015 - I have every minute of every day of my life not only live streamed on Twitch, but I have ALL the video footage files, which mean I have footage of all the attacks, all the yelling at my car, all the demanding I cast death spells, all the trying to hire me as a hit man - all of it. I have over 15k hours of video footage. And because most of the attacks happened during a livestream, there are also hundreds of witness online who saw and heard the attacks and threats already, seeing and hearing them as they were happening.

Going back to the suspecting someone is impersonating me... My mother makes the claim that it is her right to cut the wires off my Biddeford apartment building, because she claims I've put her name, address, and where she goes online. I've never put her address or name or where she goes on the internet. Don't know what she's talking about. I gave her the FBI contact info and told her that if she actually is seeing "me" posting this stuff she claims I'm posting online, then she needs to forward that stuff to the FBI because it's someone impersonating me, and that was one of the things the FBI has suspected was happening so they are actively looking for that kind of stuff. They are trying to get to the bottom of who it is spreading these wild, crazy ass rumours and lies, both doing it in my name and doing it about me.

They've already located a shut down a few dozen impersonation of me, social network accounts, and so far, to date, all of them have belonged to just one person: my mother's brother Mervin Bruce Atwater. Well, it makes sense that HE would know her home address and where she goes, seeing how, for the past decade they were kind of joined at the hip and did everything together. Yeah, of course he knows where she lives and what car she drives and where she goes. 

Also, I never went to school, she did not allow it, There were several legal/court battles between my mom and the OOB school and the state of Maine ad the department of education throughout the 1980s, over the fact that she was actively refusing to allow me to attend school. So I never learned to do math or numbers. I don't know how to count or do money or any stuff like that. And numbers don't register in my head for some reason. People will tell me a phone number or home address and 5 seconds later my mind is blank on the numbers. I can't remember them. That's why when something like an attack happens I write down the tie and date immediately and keep it on a chart - I have a list, day by day, all times and dates of every attack since June 2001. I wouldn't be able to remember what happened when if I didn't keep a list like that.

Well, my mother knows all of this, so she knows even if she had told me her address, which she didn't, I wouldn't have remembered it long enough to even write it down.

In June 2021, I found out she moved, because I was walking my dog -we walk 3 to 4 miles a day, all over Biddeford, Old Orchard, and Scarborough, because I am trying to rebuild my leg muscles after having been bedridden since 2013, with only minimal movement- Doctors said I would never walk again and I aim to prove them wrong and well I have, because I am at least walking enough to walk my dog each day, but it is very difficult, and every step I take feels like a sword stabbing up my right leg and into my spine, because of the nerve damage. It is why I walk so slow and limp so bad, because it hurts terrible to step down.

Well, one day I was walking my dog and all of a sudden, there's my mother, telling me that I'm standing in front of her house and I was surprised, because last I knew she lived several miles away. I had no clue she lived 2 streets over from me and that she had done so for 3 years!

I don't know how she expects me to even know where she goes considering I've had no contact with her in almost a decade now, not since the stunt she pulled April 10, 2015 when she broke into my motorhome, filled it with feces, and then locked her 13 cats in it to frame me for animal abuse. She did not expect the Old Orchard Beach police to arrive and confiscate her cats and then not give them back to her and she has been in a social media battle with several animal shelters, veterinarians, animal control officers, and police officers ever since. Most of her harassment of these people has been targeted at former OOB town hall worker DF  and OOB police officer WW , both of whom she has been harassing on FaceBook for the past 7 years. You can ask DF  and WW  and their family and friends on FaceBook, how bad it has gotten. In recent months she added a new person to her FaceBook harassment, I don't know their name, just that it's the ex-wife and 15 year old son of someone named Todd Murphy who recently died from being hit by a train in front of my Biddeford apartment on Nov 19, 2021. Sometimes she says his death was a suicide, other times she says he was murdered and thrown in front of the train. I don't know which it is, I didn't know him, and only have her word for any of it.

In her mind, the way the whole thing was supposed to happen was: you police were supposed to confiscate my motorhome and she would take her cats and go home. 

What actually happened was: you police confiscated her cats, and I kept my motorhome.

She has spent the last 7 years harassing every pet shelter and rescue in New England, trying to find the cats.

In answer to questions about the cats from April 2015—those were cats belonging to Wayne Whitten of Biddeford, Maine. I was never able to talk about it because of the court case going on between Wayne's family and the Atwaters.

To make matters even worse, the cats were not hers, either. Rather, they belonged to Wayne Whitten and his daughter. My mother had stolen the cats from Wayne, in an act of retaliation, after Wayne refused to hand over to her, his father, William's land.

If you do not know, there are several polygamists in my family, all on the Atwater side. My mother is one of them. Wayne Whitten is one of her many Husbands, and therefore Wayne Whitten is also my stepfather.

In May 2010, my mother took a chainsaw to my 1964 Dodge 330. But it was not the ONLY car she attacked that week. Two days earlier, she took a chainsaw to Wayne's black 1970s vintage Dodge. AFTER, she locked her Old English sheepdog in the trunk and left it there for 6 months, and then tried to say that Wayne killed her dog, when in fact, she had.

Many people in Biddeford, Maine knew Wayne Whitten and his father William Whitten, and both men were known for the wild tales of Wayne's 5th wife, Jeannie, who daily beat him, gathered her older brothers to beat him, and hospitalized him several times, multiple times nearly killing him. That wife is also my mother.

Unfortunately for Wayne Whitten, no one would believe him about how violent and psychotically deranged his wife was and in the space of only a few weeks, his father, then his cats, and then Wayne himself all died. Because of the violent nature of Wayne's death, details were withheld from the public.

Three cats—the white cat Old Lady, and the 2 tabby's Trouble and Sassy, were already dead before the police arrived, and all three were diagnosed as having been force-fed rat poison. This is why, even though my mother put 13 cats in my motorhome, the police only took 10 cats.

Wayne's father, William, owned the cape house next door to Ben's Flooring in Biddeford, behind Walmart. In his 90s, with his health failing, my mother arrived demanding William sell his house and give her the money for a down payment on a mansion in Kennebunk. The exact same demands she is now making at me, these 7 years later. She did this to William Whitten in 2015, and Wayne's daughter to this day maintains that my mother's threats, demands, and harassment were the major contributing factors of William's death.

My mother took the Whitten cats, intending to hold them hostage, until William sold his house and gave her the money. This was why she hid the cats in my motorhome. This is also why when the police showed up asking about the cats, I had no clue what they were talking about and let them search the motorhome telling them there were no cats in it. My mother broke into my motorhome and hid the cats in there, apparently 3 days earlier, and I was unaware she had done this so was unaware the cats were there.

This is also why, when police officer Will Watson asked how many cats there were and what their names were, why I did not know how many cats there were and only knew the names of a couple of the cats that I had heard Wayne talk about.

William Whitten died while the cat fiasco was going on.

Wayne, realizing what my mother had done to his cats, tried to get them back, but he died a few weeks later.

Wayne, his father, and his cats all died a few weeks apart from each other.

My mother went around triumphantly bragging that she had gotten Wayne's father's land, via being Wayne's wife, and set about to the process of buying the house in Kennebunk. And got slapped with a reality check when the two wills got read and both William and Wayne had left everything they had to Wayne's daughter.

In raging inferno, my mom lashed out at Wayne's daughter, and a lawsuit happened, with Wayne's daughter charging my mother with kidnapping the cats, and using rat poison to slowly poison Wayne. A massive Facebook war happened between the Whittens and the Atwaters as my mother got her Atwater thugs involved, and the Whitten's fled in terror once they realized the rumours that my mother was part of the Scottish Mafia, was in fact, very, very, very true.

To this day, the remains of Wayne Whitten's surviving family live in mortal terror, daily vandalism, and barbaric levels of harassment at the hands of my mother, and her brothers Bruce and David and David's sons and grandsons.

More details of what happened can be found here: Amphibious Aliens: https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html

And no, for the people who are confused, Amphibious Aliens has nothing to do with aliens. It is about a homeless man whom my mother and her brother Bruce, over hyper focused on, and together my mother and Bruce created an elaborate alien abduction and demon possession hoax, so they could try to scam several dozen locals out of their houses.

This cat stealing, house stealing scam is something they have been doing to people all over Southern Maine since BEFORE I was even born. The earliest known attempt at this house stealing scam dates back to their father David Henry Atwater and a house he stole in the 1930s in Rumford Maine. At the time, my grandfather used the hoax of an angel from heaven coming down and telling him to take the Rumford farm. And at the time, my grandfather was a transport driver for Honey Fizt's ACTUAL Boston Mafia, which is WHY, the Atwaters make the claim to be the Scottish Mafia. Their claim is that because they are Scottish, and their father worked for Honey Fitz that they are Mafia. But the Atwaters are neither Scottish nor Mafia, both claims are outright lies that are nothing more than part of the scam they run.

As can be seen with BOTH what she has spent the past 5 decades doing to Etiole and what she is currently doing to Todd Murphy's family on and off FaceBook, you can see how much my mother hyper focuses on homeless people and abusing their friends and relatives and using the homeless person's homelessness as excuses for the scams she runs.

That she spent decades running a land stealing scam in Etiole's name, and now is running another land stealing scam in Todd Murphey's name is utterly deplorable.

And you people who wonder WHY I've not had contact with my mother in 30 years, WHY I shun her. WHY I hate her and her Atwater thugs so much... you are right now witnessing it live as they do it all over again, this time taking advantage of the pain and suffering of Todd Murphy's family to try to steal land from people in the name of a homeless man who was killed by a train.

I am thoroughly and utterly disgusted with my mother's vile abuse of the Murphy family and what she is doing in the name of a dead man.

I've said it thousands of times before and I'll say it again: The Atwaters are scum.

The Atwaters devote their lives to abusing homeless people and the families of those homeless people, just so they can run their filthy scams, and I’m fucking sick of the Atwaters and their filth.


She has had several retaliation attacks happen to her, done by family and friends of the people she's harassing on FaceBook. the retaliation attacks included a Biddeford Public Works road grader being driven into her yard and over her car in 2017. Two additional attacks on her next car, the following year. And in June 2021 a man driving a green pick up truck drove into her yard and beat her car with a 2by4. (Note, I did not witness any of these attacks on her cars and only have her word on what happened.)

All of these people she is fighting with on FaceBook, I don't know, they are people she knows and they are not on my FaceBook and I blocked her and all the Atwaters from my FaceBook back in May 2015, when her and her nieces and nephews and siblings were posting death threats on my FB profile. One cousin cousin name, posted pictures of herself carrying a machine gun (not automatic rifle - but a machine gun - the big type you put on a tripod and have a belt full of hundreds of bullets slung over your shoulder- similar to a gatland gun but not as big, though she had pictures of her gatland gun too that she was also posting on my FB) She'd write under the pictures "This is the gun I'm going to shoot you with"... her husband was one of the guys arrested after the Jan 6 attack, by the way - the guy in Florida with the Nancy something's ( forget her last name, I think it began with a P? I don't know American politics, I find it all confusing so I'm not sure who the Nancy woman was). He stole her pulpit and  he was posting pictures of him stealing on FB. Her mom is aunt L, and she and he were among the 23 cousins that the FBI has been trying to find because they supplied a lot of the guns for the Jan 6th attack, according to posts they made on FB. I don't know, I never saw any such posts because I have them all blocked n FB since 2015. Her brother cousin name was also posting pictures of him carrying guns and writing death threats underneath on my FB wall. His messages said: "I'm an ordained Aaronic Priest and god has given me permission to blow your brains out with this gun". cousin name and cousin name are 2 of David and aunt L's 15 adult kids -all are 40 to 60+ years old. David is my mom's oldest brother, he's in his 80s. He is very violent, there has never been an occasion of him arriving on my land in Old Orchard, that did not involve his trying to kill me, usually by strangling me. He is the most violent of all the uncles. Several times while he's been here he beat up his adult kids by hitting them in the face with weights off of dumbells. 

Most of the Atwater men are retired Marines, and all of them are over 6'2" the tallest, is 7'3". These guys are HUGE and are all weightlifters. You don't want to cross one of the Atwater uncles, they are former Marines trained in weaponless combat. David runs a compound in Palmyra.. . and you might have just seen his crew in the news - they were doing a squatter's rights takeover of that big mansion next door to Stephen King in Bangor and somehow the place caught fire. The news reports didn't mention Stephen King and went out of their way to get camera angles that kept King's house out of the news, but I'm as familiar with Bangor streets as I am Old Orchard and Biddeford streets, so I recognized which house it was on the news, that got attacked by the squatters doing a take over war. 

My uncle and his kids are trying to confiscate the land all around Stephen King - they say they have the right to because no one was ever paid any money for being in The Thinner movie. That happened about 2 weeks ago, the news did not list the squatters name, but like I said, it's my uncle and his crew, they been focusing on the 20 or so houses around King's big red Victorian, for over a decade now. They tried to get me to help them do it, that's how I found out. They made the claim that because I'm an author I should be able to reason with Stephen King and convince him to hand over his red Victorian house in exchange for his never paying them for being in The Thinner. I told them to get lost and burn in hell. Just because I'm an author and King's film crew filmed a part of Thinner on my land in Old Orchard doesn't mean I know King himself, I never even met him, and them being obsessed with stealing land from people is just out of control. 

The whole Atwater clan does this. They don't see anything wrong with moving in, setting up camp, and driving the rightful land owners off their land at gunpoint.

They act like it's a family tradition to steal land from people, via squatting, harassment, corrosion, death threats, and outright just forging deeds and switching the files, like they did with my land.

And that's the issue we have going on right now. My mother has gone on a psych crazed warpath vendetta of taking my land or else, and or else so far has included her twice now having my father shove things up the tailpipe of my car, both times doing lots of damage t the car when I started the engine and everything inside blew up because of the fuel line blocked. And twice now - each time the same day as attacking my Volvo cutting the wires off the Biddeford apartment as well, in the same driveway where the car was parked.

Both times they admitted to doing it and both times used the justification that I deserved it because I was refusing to sell my land and give my mother the money to buy a house in Kennebunk. She says she has to move to Kennebunk to "get away from the niggars invading Maine, Kennebunk is all white they don't allow no niggars". She's very crude and vulgar and has an extreme hatred for black people and hangs around online with some group that calls itself "the workers of iniquity" which claims to be "a branch of the Ku Klux Klan because the original Ku Klux Klan is not strict enough".

Throughout 2016 people wearing KKK-like white robes and hood showed up in Old Orchard to make threats about my land. Back then I was unaware that my mother was friends with such a group. The robes are NOT KKK robes, the KKK robes are very distinctive, covered with fancy bead work and embroidery, and are not white, but are usually green or red or blue or yellow. It's a Hollywood myth that the KKK wears white, and that's how you can tell REAL KKK from fake wannabe's pretending to be KKK. Real KKK is not wearing white sheets and white pillowcases. The real KKK is a church that is organized similar to Catholic church and all their robes mean specific ranks, also they don't wear hood, they wear mitre hats like the pope does, and have a veil mask over their eyes. So its pretty easy to identify real KKK from fakers in white sheets, and the people showing up in my yard were not real KKK, they were fakers literally wrapped in white bed sheets with pillow cases over their heads. 

Well, various white-power groups show up in the area, that's nothing unusual. Neo-Nazi, Sovereign Citizens, ect. They've always been around Maine, so much so that there are KKK and white power history museums in Maine -one is in Saco. So, I didn't think much of the white hood idiots in my yard. We are Gypsies, white hooded idiots are a part of our non-white life.

Well, here's the thing: we are not white. My mother's mother was not a Gypsy. Eva Viola Little John Dyer Atwater was half Kickapoo Native American and half black. He mother was 100% Native America. Her father 100% black. My mom is 1/4 black, 1/4 Native American, and 1/2 Gypsy of Roumania/Arabian/Middle Eastern descent. There is not one drop of white blood in her. Which is why I was surprised to hear her say: "I gotta move to Kennebunk to get away from the niggars invading Maine, Kennebunk is all white they don't allow no niggars". Yes, Kennebunk is all white, and look at the news, the black school teach who lives in Old Orchard Beach and worked at Kennebunk schools is daily bombarded with swastika painted on her car while she's teaching class. I can't drive my Volvo down main street Kennebunk with out getting pelted with rocks and crowds running off the sidewalks screaming "death to Gypsy scum!" It's dangerous t drive through Kennebunk and not be white -they pull us coloured folks out of cars if we get stopped at a red light. Kennebunk is legendary for being the most white power town in the state of Maine.

One has only to look up the international news reports of the 10 year old school children dragging their black teacher into the streets and almost beating her to death -in 2020. That happened barely a year ago. Kennebunk is the most hostile anti-black town in America and they are proud of it, brag about it, and since the BLM stuff of 2020, Kennebunk has gotten ten times worse. And, she's been seeing all that in the news and wants to live there, and I'm not sure why, because like I said,  my mom is 1/4 black, 1/4 Native American, and 1/2 Gypsy of Roumania/Arabian/Middle Eastern descent and if she tries to buy a house there, and they find out she has black blood, they'll kill her. But she's all hyped up on a white power kick and wants to join Kennebunk's anti-black movement, and... I... I just don't understand it and I'm sure if that's actual why she wants to go thee or not.

There was a court case about the cats (3 different ones because the town hall dropped the case after evidence proved the cats were not mine and my mother had snuck them in my motorhome a few days earlier to try to frame me and then some MB guy crawled out of the woodwork to reopen the case a month later), which, for some reason was in my name, not her name, because the motorhome was mine, even though the cats were hers. Weirdly, half way through the court case the town hall dropped the case and some guy named MB Bureau took over it instead. Thing is, I don't know who this MB guy is. He's not anyone I have ever even met before and he was not at the court so I didn't meet him there either. He came in with lots of wild accusations about me harassing him, even though I had no clue who he was and had never heard of him before. MB's lawyer took photo copies of a conversation on Twitter between me and JB (the guy the FBI arrested for embezzling $30k out of the OOB town hall bank account - $3million in OOB tax money went missing, the rest was never found as far as I know. The Twitter conversation was this JB sending me death threats because he had just been released from prison, and he was claiming I had put him there, even though I didn't know him or that he'd been in prison or that he had stolen money from OOB town hall. According to FBI, JB was a church friend of my mother's and he and town manager Jim Thomas, had been Bishopric counsellors to Mormon Church Bishop DK and the 3 of them and several others from the Saco LDS church had taken over the OOB town hall in around 2010 and embezzled $3million in town taxes. Apparently my Uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, Richard Merlin Atwater, and aunt B had been involved, been involved and they had used fake social media accounts in my name to contact JB so he thought I knew him, that's why he contacted me on my real account after getting out of prison. I don't know the details I only know the small bit of info the FBI told me to let me know why this JB guy was contacting me.) For some reason, this MB guy, said the Twitter conversation with this Joel guy was about him. 

And apparently according to the FBI, this MB guy owns the old abandoned logging road across the street from me, which is numbered as 139 Portland Ave. I don't know, that road has been abandoned at least since the 1970s, I had no idea any one lived down there, but FBI says this MB guy does. I've been at 146 since 1975, and I've never see any one live there. FBI says there is another driveway on a different side that they probably use. Any ways, for some odd reason this MB guy took over the court case with the cats, only he suddenly said it was about me being transgender (but I'm not transgender, so I don't know why he said I was) His lawyer came into court saying I was a man pretending to be a woman, and here's where it got really weird, the lawyer copied what he SAID was an "About Me" page off of my website (eelkat.com) only what he copied was the about page for the main character of the novel series I write (I'm the author of 138 published novels). The series is about a male Elf who is possessed by a female parasitic alien jellyfish. So it's a female jellyfish wearing the body of a dead male Elf like a coat and passing herself off as him.

Well, this lawyer (Gene Libby) for this MB guy is waving THAT fictional character profile around in court, saying it was my personal about me page, and making the claim that I was a male to female transvestite who believed I was an Elf... and here's the kicker... his whole spiel was trying to convince the judge that I was insane so this MB guy could confiscate my land at 146 Portland Ave! It was the most bizarre thing, and the judge thought so too, because the judge tossed the whole thing out of court because the charges this MB guy had against me were so oddball off the wall nut job ridiculous. But the thing was, again, it was someone making wild claims that I had to hand them over my land, which is what keeps happening with every one of these weird attacks. And always, like both these 2 guys: JB and MB Bureau they are creepy ass strangers who crawl out of the woodwork, people I've never heard of before, making claims to being my friend (JB made the claim he was my best friend and said we talked all the time on FaceBook, but he wasn't on my FB and I'd never heard of him before. While MB Bureau in his court papers made the claim to be one of my uncles -he is not-and)

aunt B and aunt L of Bangor used to be putting stuff online about me and my brothers and JB would get it from aunt B and aunt L and forward it every where. This was in 2010 era, but I did not see the posts, because none of them is a FaceBook friend of me. The FBI however said they saw a lot of the posts, these people made, including several death threats. Seems likely something like that is happening again given the way people keep showing up here at the Biddeford apartment when no one even knew I was here.

I met aunt L about 3 times during my childhood, it's been 30+ years since I last saw her, and I've never spoken with her online or offline not once in my entire life.

aunt B I meet 10 or 12 times during my childhood, and likewise it's been 30+ years since I last saw her, except for 2 times. One in 2013 she showed up at my Biddeford apartment on Water St, with some medical scam idea she had that she wanted me to help her with. She said she was working at Blue Cross/Blue Shield and had found a way to get people's insurance money because a lot of people didn't file claims; she said she was also an EMT, and she could take the records from one job to cross with the other job, to have people's insurance money forwarded to a POBox she owned. I told her I wanted nothing to do with it and to get lost. I don't know how true any of the stuff she said was. I don't know if she worked at those places or could do the scam she was claiming or not.

aunt B showed up again in 2016, at the Gazebo Park (might be named Mechanic's Park?) on the Saco River by the water treatment plant. I was there walking my dog, and my mother showed up with an uncle Peter (now deceased) who was visiting from Utah. They were having a picnic. aunt B and Bruce showed up to trash everything, steal the food, and then leave. They were yelling and screaming the whole time. They acted drunk, except I didn't think they drank. I don't know. Mormons don't drink, not usually.

So I don't know aunt B and aunt L otherwise. I know nothing about them. Have never had contact with them, have never spoken with them online or offline. So, I'm puzzled as to why they were posting things online about me in 2010, or why they were acting like they knew me, when neither of them has ever been a part of my life or know anything about me.

But, they make claims that I say and do various things that I don't say or do. The list of things they've accused me of is massive and kind of crazy and include the claims that I am a prostitute, and that I am a Mafia gang leader ... like I said, it's just wild and also very slanderous and I'm sick of it.

Back in 2019 when my mother got her car, she had it over a month before I even knew she had gotten a car. I found out she had it when she flipped out saying I was online telling people she bought a car. And it turned out is was aunt B and Brucie online telling everyone she got a car, but I had told them,  even thought I had never talked to either of them since 2013 when FBI told me cut off all contact with them

aunt B and Bruce and aunt L all 3 are constantly telling people I said things, that I never said. 

I told you people been showing up talking about Todd and claiming I said things online about him, but I don't even know who he is or what they are talking about. It almost looks like someone is online impersonating me.

A few weeks ago an old man walked up to me, asked if I was EelKat and then asked me why I kept emailing him, and I said I don't email anyone cause I don't use email. He said some days he gets over 300 emails a day from someone claiming to be EelKat 

Last time my car had this problem was same day my father cut the internet on my mom's orders. Suspicious my car has same problem again, same day internet goes off again. It went off while my mother was here

aunt B showed up at water st day after golf club attack, but I never knew how she found out , I never told anyone online about it . Her and Bruce knew about it some how before any one else.  They wanted me to use my injury to help them run a medical scam and they were pissed when I refused to. They started spreading lies about me online because of that. That was Nov 2013

aunt B and Bruce knew about the cats and DAY BEFORE it happened. aunt B posted on my FaceBook wall "the next head nailed to the door will be yours" the day before any heads were nailed to door

I think it's aunt B online saying stuff about me and my mom, because she did it before and because FBI was here asking about her going down to Washington Jan 6 attack, but I didn't yet know the Jan 6 attack had even happened. They said aunt B aunt L and 23 cousins had been down there and they FBI was trying to find them. 

Old Orchard police and Biddeford police and a detective have all shown up asking about aunt B and aunt L and 23 cousins as well. But again I don't know anything because I not had contact with them. But FBI, 2 police departments and a detective are all saying aunt B and aunt L and 23 cousins are making claims about me, in connection to bombs and ISIS .

That's how I found out Paul Martel was in prison. According to FBI agents, Paul Martel built the bombs for the 2013 Boston marathon and the 2013 bomb at South Maine Community College and put the college bomb in my class to make it look like I made the Boston bomb. That's why the FBI showed up to begin with. They were at the college investigating both bombs that happened the same day

FBI said they believed the whole thing was aunt B and Bruce idea, but Paul martial was the one who actually built the bomb and sold it to ISIS, and put the second bomb in my class at college so Paul Martel was the only one they could arrest. FBI is trying to arrest aunt B because they think she's the one behind it. They said the whole thing seems to have started because Scott went to prison for selling drugs at Scarborough downs and for some reason aunt B thinks I'm the one who turned him in, even though I've not seen or heard from Scott since he was 8 years old

FBI thinks the attack on the cats was aunt B retaliating because Paul Martel got arrested. 

When Dickie died also in 2013, after the bomb in Boston but before the golf club attackers aunt B was with him taking charge of his medicine and his official cause of death was an overdose of his medicine, with a not saying unable to determine if accident or suicide. I found out this 2 days after he died when Jacksonville County state police from Florida showed up here in Maine to interview me about where I was the day Dickie died  because when he died aunt B called 911 and told the police I had killed him. 

The FBI thinks the golf club attack was aunt B retaliating because police didn't arrest me for murdering Dickie like she had demanded they do

FBI is full focused on arresting aunt B and Bruce. There's no evidence Bruce is dead. All evidence points to him being in New Zealand. 

FBI believes Bruce faked death because FBI was moving in to close and he didn't want to take the fall for what aunt B is doing 

In 1996 and 1997 aunt B sent out lots of emails to the family claiming the emails had been written by me. I did not have email, internet, or even a computer yet. She got Dickie and David and Joey in raving warpath over it. That's the summer they all showed up talking about Etiole and amphibious aliens and alien abduction. aunt B was the one who started all of that stuff about Etiole, who I never called Etiole. Etiole is not his name, it's always been the word the Atwaters used to describe him (it means man from the stars or alien it's a French word. I don't know French, aunt B is the one who knows French, so I never would have given him a French name) Bruce and Dickie went to a bunch on MUFON forums from 1996 to 2007 spreading lies about me and Etiole calling him a demon and alien and claiming I was an alien abducted. I found out about it in 2007 after they'd already been doing it for 11 years. I don't think aunt B has ever stopped sending out emails about Etiole while pretended to be me, I think she is still doing it.

My father was the one who told the Atwaters about Etiole. My father and Dickie both called him the white monkey. In 1994 and 1996 Bishop Morgan asked me to his office and showed me a bunch of letters, all of them signed "The White Monkey, OST". He said the letters were written to sound like I had written them but he said he'd seen my handwriting before and knew I hadn't written these. He wanted to know if I recognized the handwriting. Some had been written by daddy. Others had been written by Dickie. President Earnshaw later called me in for similar letters he had received and again the white monkey letters were written by mostly daddy and some Dickie all pretending to be me, trying to make it look like I was pretending to be Etiole. In total 16 Bishops and 2 stake presidents had contacted me over the years about white monkey letters

The white monkey letters stopped in 2007 when the psychiatrist at Biddeford hospital diagnosed daddy as having schizophrenia and put him on psychiatric medicine. Since 2007 no one has mentioned Etiole or white monkey, until the week Todd died when people started showing up in Biddeford driveway yelling about Etiole and calling him a suicide demon

The white monkey belonged to Helen pearly and has nothing to do with Etiole at all. In 1978 Helen pearly had a pet white monkey that got lost. Me and cousin Micheal saw it in the woods out back and tried to catch it. We found Etiole the same day. Etiole is a homeless man who lives behind my land in the woods. Me and Micheal took him food. For some reason because we found him while looking for Helen pearly white monkey my father and the Atwaters got it in their heads that Etiole was a demon alien shape shifter who turned into a white monkey to lure me and Micheal into the woods. And that's how their stupid ass alien and demon rumours got started.

I used to let him sleep in the Dodge at night, that's why people started saying the car was haunted. They said Etiole was a demon and the car was demon possessed. My father and Bruce used to stay up all night debating what kind of demon Etiole must be and kept calling me a demon child and a witch and saying I was demon possessed and they called Etiole my familiar and said I summoned him to cast curses and death spells. Bruce believed all that stuff as actual fact and after Bruce left for the night my dad would joke about how gullible Bruce was and how easy it was to convince him demons lived in my car. From there the rumours ended up on the internet through the Heaven's Gate group, that Bruce was a member of at the time. They were a group of around 200 people who went from one UFO forum to the next spreading rumours about me and Etiole. They did that for 11 years before I found out Bruce and his UFO friends were doing it. 

I found out when people started showing up in Old Orchard with beeping equipment claiming they were here the capture Etiole while calling him an amphibious alien and EBE and calling me "EelKat Etiole's friend" I did not use the username EelKat online and none of my books about EelKat (the black bobcat) had ever been published so there was no reason for internet people to know either the name EelKat or Etiole.  I was using the username xavychup online not EelKat, that's why my email address is xavychup not EelKat. EelKat is something Grammy called me back in the 1970s because she said eels and cats were my spirit animals. I never called myself EelKat online or offline so only the Atwaters had ever heard that word before and yet in 2007, I spent the entire summer with endless people showing up in my yard at my tent and all calling me EelKat and all looking for Etiole. 

Because I was living under the tarp I had no access to internet yet so had no clue what was going on online. I went to the library and searched Etiole and EelKat to see what came up and I found tens of thousands of forum posts and interviews and articles all written by Bruce and Dickie, including interviews with Buddy Hopkins, David Mack, and David Icke. All the stuff they said was how they had this demon possessed niece who had been abducted by aliens and has brought an alien back from the mother ship with her and was now protecting him. Every one of the forum posts. Interviews and articles had my full name, my old Orchard address, my email, and my old Orchard phone number listed. That was why so many people were showing up at the tent. In 2006 to 2009. The whole thing of people calling me a Witch and saying about curses and death spells and aliens and demons was started by daddy saying that stuff to Bruce and then Bruce and Dickie spreading it online for 11 years from 1996 to 2007

I started using the name EelKat online BECAUSE my uncles had spent 11 years calling me that on MUFON forums, and when I found out about it and started contacting all the forum admins, I had to tell every one:

"I'm Wendy Christine Allen. I'm the one you all call EelKat, Etiole's friend, the REAL EelKat, friend of the REAL Etiole,  and I'm here to slap every damned one of you with protection from harassment orders. I'm tired of the slander and lies you people are spreading about me of fucking UFO websites. I'm not an alien abductee, I've never claimed to be, until this morning I didn't even know what an alien abductee was. Etiole is not an alien. Etiole is not a demon. He's a local homeless man who has a skin deformity, so he hides in the forest because people are scared of him because of what he looks like, and they beat him up and bully him. The people telling you he's an alien are my uncles, who the ring leaders behind beating him up and bullying him, and I'm quite upset to find out they've been doing it online for quite some time and I'm only just finding out about it now, because earlier this week, I had 30,000 people in my driveway, trying to catch him while screaming that he was an amphibious alien and EBE. You UFO crazies are insane, and I want you people out of my yard. My uncles are lying to you about me and Etiole and you'll idiots for believing them."

I created an EelKat username EVERYWHERE just so I could post that message to every place my uncles had posted that fucking ass alien abduction shit about me and Etiole. THAT, is why you saw me start to use the EelKat username in 2007, when I was always xavychup everywhere before that.

And that is also why I do NOT have an EelKat email.  I've had the xavychup email since 1994, I still have it. And anyone using an eelkat email to contact you isn't me, because I don't have an eelkat email. It always has been and still is xavychup.

Last I knew aunt B and Bruce and aunt L and Bruce's daughters and David's kids and grandchildren were all still continuing to spread demon and alien lies about me and Etiole and were still putting my real name and address on everything. In 2019 they were putting my old Orchard address my high street address and also my water st address even though I was no longer at water street on thousands of forum posts and Facebook posts. In 2019 they were making several hundred posts daily across all there accounts and I found 27 fake EelKat accounts owned just by Bruce himself alone. They were all things like eeelkat, ee1kat, 33lkat, etc. Slightly spell different to look like it was me, yo someone looking quick and not paying attention.  They are likely still doing it and I assume they are doing the same to my mother as well. 

Also I don't even know what mothers address is. How could I put it anywhere? I didn't even know she moved until last summer and apparently she moved a few years ago. No one ever told me she had moved. 

Just like the saying about me saying she got a car. I didn't know about the white car until she came over in it to see Mickey last may and apparently she had a few cars in between. Last car I knew was the black one. I didn't even know she had a new car, let alone more than one.

No one ever told me those things, not her or any one else so it's utterly stupid for her to think I could put her address or cars online. Only people who knew about her address and cars could put them online.

Don't forget she never even told me when Dickie or Bruce died. Both times I found out from the FBI showing up to investigate accusations that I had murdered them

I'm the bed ridden, crippled by multiple attacks. The November 14, 2013 golf club attack, I was almost healed from, but the June 2016 shopping cart attack re opened the 2013 injury and doctors can't operate this time because of the bone shards severing my spinal column. I'm crippled for the rest of my life and no one in this family ever cared. 

Both attacks the FBI wanted to talk to my parents and they refused to talk to him both times. My baby was murdered in the first attack. I was 8 months pregnant and all any of them would do was gibberish about "rosemary baby" and say there was no baby because it was a demon because it was Etiole's. My parents and the Atwaters hate Etiole that much, that they shun the existence of my baby and act like it was never there. That's how much they hate me. That's how cruel and hate filled they are towards me. They spent the last 50 years calling me demon possessed and them saying that is WHY local people attack me and killed my baby and left me crippled for the rest of my life. 

I am in bed 15 or more hours a day, I can barely sit up, I can barely stand up long enough to cook, I have to wear adult diapers since 2013 because half my organs don't work any more because the nerves from those organs to my spine are cut off. My hands shake so bad that it takes me hours to eat a single meal. I can't go back to college, I can't go back to work. But do they care? No. Not my mother. Not my father. Neither of them give a shit. They are both too damned selfish thinking about their own greed to ever once lift a finger to help me. Daddy treats me like a fucking slave and my mother is so far out of my life shunning me because bishop kenning in Saco ward told her too that she hasn't got a clue how bad things are.

I'm not doing a damned thing to any of them. I mind my own business. I write my novels. I don't contact them. I don't talk to them. I don't talk about them.  Someone is clearly pretending to be me online and is slandering me and getting sick of it. My mother flips out about everything thing under the sun and I never have a clue what she's talking about, because I never did or said any of the things she accuses me of. And my father and the Atwaters do the same thing. Some one is out there pretending to be me to get them worked into a frenzy just to sit back and laugh while watching my mother, my father, and the Atwaters be too damned stupid to think. My mother and my father and the Atwaters are all filled with so much pure hatred for me that it takes nothing to convince them to attack me. And whoever it is posting online pretending to be me, knows that and is taking advantage of it. 

I'm too damned sick and crippled to even attempt to do half the crazy shit my mother and my father are accusing me of. And what's worse, my father is right here in the same apartment with me. He sees me every day, he knows how bad off my health is. 

Look how much I'm bleeding all over the house every day. Massive nose bleeds that last for hours to a time, not bleeding from my nose. Just coming out of my nose. I'm so dizzy I can't sit up for weeks to a time. I faint and blackout when I try to get up to go to the bathroom. The pain in my hip and pelvis and knee and spine is so bad I can't even move my fingers to type my novels. 

And look at what they do. Do they really think I'm physically capable of doing the things they accuse me of? They are so damned self centred and paranoid. It's all I can do just to sit up and eat something, how the hell do they think I can do the stuff they accuse me of? My day is spent focusing on trying to get my leg to move so I can make a meal, I don't even have time to think about them. 

It looks more and like my mother and my father are doing this stuff on purpose to try to kill me. My father knows how bad off my heart and lungs are and how difficult it is for me to breath after just a couple of steps. His mother left that land to me in her will in 1983. He stole it, had it put into his name illegally. He's been pissed ever since her death, because she gave everything to me not him. That's been a big problem for him for the last 40 years. He raves about it alongside his ravings about going to Utah taking him off the fire department. He hates my mother because of Utah, blames her every day for losing his fire department pension. He raves about it all night long every single night. He blames me for his mother disinheriting him. He raves about that all the time too. I was only grandchild That's why she left everything to me. Including the land that he stole and put in his name. That land is rightfully mine, his mother gave it to me, and he can't stand it. He's needling my mother about the land just to spite his mother.

He's only trying to get the land away from me because he is mad that the town didn't take it. His mother wanted it to stay in the family. It had been in her family since 1530. Her family was the original settlement family of old Orchard and my land is that spot that the first house in Old Orchard was built.  My father stopped paying taxes to spite his mother and lose the land. He said so many times. He was angry when I bought the land back from the town. He still is. He wants it out of the family because his mother wanted it in the family. That's why he's trying to turn my mother against me over the land. Because he gates his own mother that much.

Keep in mind the 4 door white truck showed up at my workplace daily. Even though I never knew ahead of time what store I would be working at. I was a retail merchandiser and stocked shelves at dozens of stores all over the state. Walmart's every where, CVS, khols, sometimes local, sometimes as far as Freeport and once in Vermont and once in Massachusetts.  I got the notice of which store to be at 15 minutes before I left. So the only person who ever knew where I was going was my father. 

And yet the 4 door white truck would also arrive ahead of me and be waiting. They didn't follow me, they got their first.

And the police caught the truck and the driver in 2017. Kathy BR owned the truck. Her son was the driver.

The smith's are my parents friends. My mother's visiting and home teachers for years.

Kathy was the district emergency dispatch for all the towns in the area, not just old Orchard. That's why none of the 911 calls went through during the attacks by the 4 door white truck. He only attacked while she was on duty. She never forwarded any of the calls so officers never were told to come help me.

That includes the November 14, 2013 golf club attack in South Portland. But the college security officer made a report even though the police never arrived. That big black officer who was head of security was on duty and him and 2 student officers from the police academy made the report.

And FBI found the data from the calls, that never got forwarded to police, that's why Kathy BR lost her job. Because she's the one who tampered with the 911 call files.

Tim and Kathy BR both, not together, individually, arriving separately, both arrived at my tent multiple times throughout the entire year of 2013, saying they were coming to speak to me on behalf of someone who wanted to remain anonymous. So I never knew who sent them. Each time they arrived all they would say was that I had to tear down "the little yellow house" as they called the shop. 

August 8, 2013 the backhoe drove over the shop while I was at work on the food truck down by the pier.

I never saw Tim or Kathy again after that. Not once. And these were people who stopped by to visit my parents daily for over 40 years. Since August 8, 2013 and the backhoe attack on my house, Kathy and Tim have gone to alarming extreme levels to avoid running into me. They just down the street, on one of the private drives, so it's difficult to avoid running into me, and we used to see them a few times a week at local grocery stores. They both, if they see me in a store, literally throw whatever they are carrying across the store and run out of the store like they have a pack of rabid wolves on their heels. It's pretty fascinating thing to see.

My cousin and next door neighbour Tim Murphy was murdered that same week, a few days before the backhoe. His body was left at the cascade Ross road crossroad. 14 days later his head was left at the Portland Ave Ross road crossroad road. His mother put up the big white cross a month later. 

The 4 door white truck showed up a few days later. 

Tim Murphy had an identical truck. The police and FBI initially thought it was his, but his truck was later found.

Tim Murphy owned Etiole's swamp and was the one buying most of the food and supplies for Etiole. 

Tim Murphy was with me and Micheal the day we tried to catch Helen pearly white monkey and found Etiole. 

The FBI believes that Tim Murphy was killed by someone trying to frame Etiole and believes the murder was a retaliation over Tim Murphy refusing to sell the swamp land behind me. 

At the time the FBI was looking at DF Feeney as a suspect but DF Feeney's family was killed in a murder suicide and he too is now seen as someone who was being framed.

The swamp, sandpit, and pond behind me, the Murphys own that, and 3 people in their family have now died horrifically violent deaths because they, like me were protecting Etiole from the people who would kill him because they believed Bruce's demon and alien lies about Etiole. 

Look at what is being done to me. They drove a backhoe over my house and they murdered my baby and they crippled me, all days apart.

Look at what is being done to the Murphys. And they're massacring the Murphy family. Tim's death the same time as the attack on me.

And look at who screams the loudest hate for Etiole. Look WHO calls him a demon.

And look at WHO the FBI's number one suspect in all of this is.

My family laughs and jokes about this whole thing like they think it's a fucking game. People are dying and the FBI is not laughing. 

Look at WHO keeps attacking my car. Look at WHO keeps cutting the wires off the apartment. Vandalism. Harassment. Bullying. Threats. Evil people Evil things. By their fruits yea shall no them, for no good thing springs from dead wood. Those are small petty crimes, but they are still crimes. But it's far beyond petty crimes. The list of people who have been murdered is quite long now. 13 died just at the Boston marathon bombing. I'm crippled for the rest of my life, and so far, I'm the only person who was attacked who lived through an attack. Every one else they've attacked is dead. Most of them beheaded or killed in a bomb. 7 different bombs, including one in my classroom at college in 2013, two in my workplace in 2015 and 2016, the house in Old Orchard in 2006, and my doctor on Saco Ave in 2003 where the doctor the nurses and 21 patients were killed. And the FBI was on site for every one of them, and my family thinks it's funny to laugh and make jokes about all of it. Because that's they do since the day me and Micheal and Tim Murphy found Etiole

Do you realize for all the shit my parents have pulled,  they've never once apologized for anything. And you know why? Because they aren't sorry. They feel no guilt. They feel no shame. They feel no remorse. Why? Because they hate me. They always have. From the time I was old enough to walk both of them reminded me daily that I was supposed to be a boy to replace the baby boy that was born before me. That's why Grammy Helen was the one who was always with me until I was 8. And after that it was Grammy Eva. And then BW. 

Do you know how I found out Santa wasn't real? Grammy Helen died when I was 8. That year for Christmas there were no Christmas presents. There was just my parents arguing over which one of them should have lowered themselves to buy a gift for the mistake that committed the sin of not being born a boy. I remember that Christmas better than any other. Because that's when found out exactly how much my parents hated me and thought I was worthless because I was a girl.

Look at my MRI scans at the damage the foundation nail through my hip did. The mutilated bones that were shattered when I was 6 years old and no one took me to the hospital. I've walked on a broken leg for almost 50 years. 

Look at the jaw surgery I had to have when I was 42 to repair an injury done to me with a brick when I was 14. 

Look at the Gremlin, 1974 orange, obliterated by a sledgehammer. 

Look at what happened when I was awarded phi theta kappa. No one went to the award ceremony. My mother said it was stupid. My father spent the day raving calling me an educated damned fool. BW was at the temple with Rick. And people with golf clubs were waiting at my car.

Do you realize if just one single person had cared enough to be at the phi theta kappa awards my baby might not have been murdered and I might not be crippled now. 

Grammy Helen would beat my dad's ass for the shit he does to me. And Grammy Eva would be ashamed of the stuff my mother does. Neither Helen or Eva would have let them get away with the constant abuse and harassment.

As for what happened to my car March 9, 2022 - KRA vandalized my car and tried to make it look like my brother did it. KRA stuffed the tailpipe full of McDonald's ketchup packets, which is what caused the fuel line to blow up. I could have died. He tried to kill me and make it look like my brother who works at McDonald's did it so my brother would be blamed.

KRA did the same thing in November, because of some guy named Todd who I supposedly convinced to kill himself via may painting a "suicide demon" on my car. There is a picture of Etiole on my car, that is what they are calling "a suicide demon"



UPDATE: February 27, 2022:

Do not underestimate either my willingness or how far I will go to protect my murdered son's grave from being destroyed by the bastards who are the @FBI s number one suspects in having killed him. The ONLY reason that bitch is hell bent on digging up my farm is because she wants to destroy the evidence of my baby having been murdered by golf clubs.

I'm sick of my mother and my mothers shit head Atwater relatives. They won't stop focusing on the cats. They are lost in a delusional refusal to face reality and that is impeding the fbi investigation of the murder of my baby and the crippling of my spine, because all either of them will do is say there was no baby and tell everyone lies about me and I don't like it. My baby is dead and that has nothing to do with the cats and I'm sick of my mother and her filthy Atwater thugs both ignoring what happened at the college 2 years before the cat event happened AND daily arriving to bully me and say it was “RoseMary’s Baby” and not a real baby because it was a demon, because Etiole was a from.

 

Etiole is not a demon, my baby with him was not a demon, you murdered my fucking baby because you are retarded religion crazed jackasses. Get the fuck out of my life and go burn were evil people like you belong!

 

I'm tired of every time I mention the baby that was murdered November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College,  they wave their hand in my face and say, "no you're just upset about the cats". The cats happened May 14, 2015 and those cats were not mine, they were my mother's cats, that she hid in my motorhome because her landlord Nick didn’t know she had 13 cats in her Birch St apartment. And he evicted her a year later when he found out the cats were hers.

That's why SHE is the one making a fuss about them, not me. I'm not the one running around yapping about the cats constantly,  she is. I'm talking about my son. 

 

My baby boy that was murdered by 3 attackers wielding golf clubs in the SMCC parking lot. A blond woman whom the redhaired woman called Claire, a redhaired woman who the blond woman called Kendra, both in their 60sish, and a bald man in his 30ish.

 

I'm not talking about my mother's cats, I'm talking about my child. What the fuck is wrong with these people? 

 

As for my car … did you all forget when and why I painted it? May 12, 2014. Mother's day. The first mother day after my baby was murdered. I painted my Volo on mother's day to divert my mind from killing myself. That's why I painted my car 9 years ago and you all know that, I've said as much hundreds of times.

Ty Mother and the Atwaters are refusing to acknowledge the baby because also refuse to acknowledge Etiole, a local homeless Jewish man who is the baby's father. 

My Mother and the Atwaters are so damned bigoted and religion crazed that all they’ve ever done is call Etiole a demon or an alien, since the first day they ever saw him: September 23, 1978.

It’s been almost 50fucking years that they’ve harassed him because of what he looks like and harassed me because I won’t let them beat him to death. 

They fully 100% believe he is not human and they run around slandering him every chance they can get and they’ve been doing it for 50 fucking years now. 

And THAT is the ONLY reason, they are doing what they are doing right now. 

 

They have NO RIGHT to be on my land. They are fucking trespassing.

Because they are so damned brainwashed by their fucking religions, that they can’t stop believing anyone who is physically deformed MUST be a Demon.

 

And they’ve spent the last 9 years daily hounding me and whooping and cheering joyous celebration over “killing the demon” as they refer to my baby.

 

In you hadn’t watched the local news - January 2022 - there was a massive FBI raid on Main Street and Cutts Street Biddeford, Maine. 8 of the men who have been roaming Southern Maine beating up pregnant women with golf clubs, were arrested and are now in jail where they belong, soon to be moved to federal prison.

And THAT is what has got the Atwaters in a frenzy now, digging up my land in Old Orchard Beach. They are desperately trying to find my dead baby’s unmarked grave, because they know his gold club shattered skull is very damning evidence for them, now that the FBI made a move and started arresting a bunch of their thugs.

 

And those arrested that just happened, they happened because the FBI phone number was painted on my car and locals in Biddeford, came forward with witness testimony of the attacks.

 

What my mother and the Atwaters are doing is cruel and evil and hateful, and I’m sick of it.

They don’t care about or my life, and my baby or his life. As can be seen by the fact of how he died.

The FBI is still trying to ID the bond Claire woman and the redhaired Kendra woman. They caught the bald man with the 4 door white pick up truck, we now know who he is - the son of the Old Orchard Beach police dispatch woman, the woman who would never let any 911 calls begging for help while these attacks were happening, go through.

Don't be surprised if you see the signs - all 144 of them - go back up in my driveway. Because I'm fucking sick of being harassed, and the agreement to keep the signs down, specified that EVERYONE in Old Orchard Beach - ALL RESIDENTS would NEVER HARASS ME again. You people have broken your agreement. I'm painting new signs as we speak.

EVERYONE - includes real estate agents, developers, contractors, construction workers, and any Atwater bitch who thinks they have the right to daily show up at my Biddeford apartment to say: "What are we going to do about Wendy, she can't keep that land, I need a downpayment on a house, she is going to sell her land and give me the money or else!"

Burn in hell you fucking bitch, and take all your fucking Atwater shitheads with you.

There are more then 500 graves on my farm - more than half of them Native American, some of them buried as far back as the 1400s. I WILL NOT let you touch those graves. I take my job as the guardian of these graves VERY SERIOUSLY. And you WILL have an all out war on your hands if you dare touch them.

Now she's threatening to dig up the graves on my land.

My dead baby means a hell of a lot more to me, then her fucking house. She never gave a damn when my baby died, but look at what she did when the cats died. Her priorities are fucked up.

My dead baby means a hell of a lot more to me, then her fucking house. She never gave a damn when my baby was murdered. But look at what she did when the murderers returned and killed the cats!

Look at what she is STILL doing about the fucking cats!

That's all she cares about. Those damned dead cats and her glut lust to have a mansion in KennebunkPort.

Her priorities are fucked up.

She doesn't give a damn about Human life.

And you know what's worse, the FBI thinks she, her sister Barbara, her brother Bruce, and their friends Claire and Kendra, where the people wearing the fake KuKluxKlan robes and hoods on November 14, 2013, when they used golf clubs to beat my baby to death and break my spine leaving me crippled for the rest of my life. 

Her, Barbara, Bruce, Claire, and Kendra - those are the FBI’s #1 suspects in the murder of my baby, November 14, 2013.

And what the hell is with people mixing up me and my mother? 

I'm NOT the one hell bent on a house. I have been willfully homeless for decades I have no desire for the confines of a house. The one running around yapping hysterics about a house IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about cats. The one running around yapping hysterics about cats IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about Todd, I don't even know who Todd is! I don't know any one named Todd! The one running around yapping hysterics about Todd IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about Mark and Dan and Watson, I don't even know who Mark and Dan and Watson are! I don't know anyone named Mark or Watson and the only Dan I know is my cousin and it's clearly not him she's talking about. The one running around yapping hysterics about Mark and Dan and Watson IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one putting curses on people. I don't believe in curses. The one running around yapping hysterics about curses and claiming she's casting death spells on people IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about demons. I don't believe in demons. The one running around yapping hysterics about demons and calling Etiole a demon IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one calling Etiole a demons. I don't believe in demons. Etiole is a local homeless man and Etiole isn't even his name, I don't use his real name online to protect his identity. I'm not the one who calls him Etiole either. Etiole is the name the Atwaters call him. The one running around yapping hysterics about demons and calling Etiole a demon IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about aliens or UFOs or alien abduction. I don't believe in aliens or UFOs or alien abduction. The one running around yapping hysterics about aliens or UFOs or alien abduction IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one calling Etiole an alien. I don't believe in aliens and besides that, Etiole is a local homeless man. The one running around yapping hysterics and calling Etiole an alien IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about Voodoo dolls and Voodoo curses. Voodoo has nothing to do with Voodoo dolls and curses. Voodoo dolls and curses are mumbo-jumbo made up by Hollywood movies and have nothing to do with the Voodoo religion at all. Voodoo is a branch of the Catholic Church. Look it up. Voodoo is a Christian religion. A Voodoo Priest is a type of Catholic Monk. A Voodoo Priestess is a type of Catholic Nun. Voodoo does not cast curses or use voodoo dolls. The one running around yapping hysterics about Voodoo dolls and Voodoo curses IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

Open your eyes people. Me and my mother don't look that much alike. You should be able to tell the difference between me and her.

Stop showing up in my yard to to attack me because of some fucking shit you argued with my mother about.

If you've got a problem with my mother, take it up with her not me.

Her, Barbara, Bruce, Claire, and Kendra - those are the FBI’s #1 suspects in the murder of my baby, November 14, 2013.

No, I have no updates on Etiole.

He was shot, by a local lunatic.

No, he's not okay.

And I am getting sick of this fucking ass rumour of Etiole being an alien or a demon.

The fact of Etiole being an alien is a stupid urban myth started by some crazy ass locals.

The fact of Etiole being a demon is a stupid urban legend created by some religion crazed nuts.

Etiole is an old man covered with acid burns. His skin is white and face disfigured from acid burns. He's not an alien and he's not a demon. And you people who call him an alien and call him a demon, you're all fucking crazy. 

Etiole is a homeless Jewish man who has no skin because he was tortured in a Nazi concentration camp in France during WW2. He came to Maine in 1953 with a bunch of other refugees, He has post traumatic stress disorder really bad and he's terrified of people. He can't function in normal society, so hides in the forests. He's not an alien, he's not a demon, he's not a cryptid. He's a disfigured old man, now in late 90s. He barely get around. He doesn't you people harassing him like this. Why can't you people leave him alone? Why are you all so damned desperate to believe in aliens or demons that you have to harass a helpless old man? Leave him alone. Why can't you leave him alone? What is wrong with you people?

Read The Amphibious Aliens article, https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html where way back in 2007, I DEBUNKED every one of you stupid ass alien, cryptic, demon, and haunted car rumours. Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World's Most Haunted Car, goes over every event from the 1970s, that started the fucking rumour, and lists off how every alien, demon, and haunted car rumour was proven to be nothing but a hoax started by my mother's brother  Mervin Bruce Atwater. Every single one of those rumours was started by that one man, and were proven to ALL be hoaxes he perpetrated to try to get money out of Dr Larochelle, the man who hit Mervin's younger sister with a car. They tried to convince the old doctor his car had a demon living in it and they scammed the doctor out of $20,000 back in the 1970s. THAT is how and why the demon car rumour got started. I bought the car in 1975. Etiole started living in it in 1978. And that is how me and Etiole got dragged into the fucking ass rumours about a demon car.

The article Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World's Most Haunted Car DEBUNKS ALL of the alien, cryptid, demon, and haunted car rumours. Every last one of them.

The car is not haunted and Etiole is not a demon.

You people who believe my car is haunted or think that Etiole is a demon, you are all fucking retarded.

You are slandering me!

You are slandering Etiole!

You are slandering my cars!

I'm sick of it!

Grow up and go get a damned fucking brain!

I'm sick of you people harassing me and Etiole over stupid shit started by brain dead idiots.

If you are having problems with my mother, tell FBI agent Andy Drewer about it not me. Have information, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

Have information about the murder of my baby, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

Have information about any of the attacks on my family, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

Have information about the people who shot Etiole, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

If you have information about anything, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 and give it to him, not me.

https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html





UPDATE March 8, 2022

One sign is back up. 

How many more go up, is dependent upon YOU.

From now on, every time one of you Old Orchard Beach, Pine Point, or Biddeford shitheads decides to harass me, I'm going to put up another sign.

If you want no more, then you better make dammed sure you keep your friends and family and neighbors out of my yard and out of my life. I'm not selling my land, and I'll not let you dig up those graves.

Burn in hell.

No means no.

And I'm tired of saying no.

Just like rapist, you refuse to take no for an answer.

No. I'm not selling my land and giving you the money so you can buy a house in Kennebunk.

I've said no to you every single week since August 2021. And your current threats to dig up the graves on my land and move them to your land, is why the signs are going back up.

I'm tired of you bullying me.

I'm tired of your threats.

I'm tired of your gaslighting.

I'm tired of your lies.

You keep saying "After all I've done for you!" What have you done for me? When I was 8 years old you locked me in a racoon trap and left me there for 27 years, only letting me out on Sundays so you could parade me around in the Cape Elizabeth and Saco Ward Mormon churches to pedophile priests who paid you so they could rape me. That's why you never had a job until 5 years ago, because you made plenty selling your pre-teen daughter for sex to dirty old men.

You drove a foundation nail through my hip when I was 6 years old.

From the tie I was 14 until I was 42 years old I was near mute, because you broke my jaw with a brick. I was 42 when I had surgery to rebuild my jaw, that's why I can talk today.

You never allowed me or my bothers to go to school or doctors.

YOU took a sledge hammer to my 1974 AMC Gremlin, my 1976 AMC Gremlin, my 1976 AMC Hornet, my Olds station wagon, and you took a chain saw to my 1964 Dodge 330 the worlds most haunted car, the real Christine. YOU did that.

Since 1978 you have harassed me and me boyfriend, the one you call Etiole, because YOU believe he's a demon because of his skin deformities. You and your sister and your brothers contacted MUFON and told them lies about me and Etiole both. You called him the amphibious alien and claimed he had abducted me. Your alien abduction hoax, almost got him killed in 1997 and again in 2007 when ufo crazies arrived in my yard calling him an EBE and trying to shoot him "for science". An elderly man, a French, Jewish Nazis concentration camp survivor who lives in the forest because his PTSD and fear of people is so bad. A man who is scarred with acid burns from being tortured in WW2 and is neither a demon nor an alien and who deeply traumatized by YOUR endless harassment.

It was YOUR friends who drove a backhoe over my house August 8, 2013 because YOU paid them $600 to do so. Because you thought without a house I would sell my land. But I wasn't the one living in that house. My dad lived there. All you did was put him in a Biddeford apartment. I was already living in the tent since May 9, 2006, and I had the Biddeford apartment since February 13, 2007. 

It was YOUR friends who attacked me with golf clubs at Southern Maine Community College, November 14, 2013, while I was 8 months pregnant with Etiole's baby. That they murdered, on YOUR orders, because as YOU put it "It's RoseMary's Baby" while you gibbered about some horror movie about demon babies.

That was YOUR own grandchild that YOU hired those people to kill.

April 10, 2015, YOU broke into my motorhome, put YOUR 13 cats in it, them then brought YOUR friends to attack my family.

We now know the owner of the 4-door white truck, was YOUR visiting teach, Kathy, the driver who tried to kill me, was her son, and the reason the 911 calls didn't go through during each attack, was because she was the 911 dispatcher and her son, driving her 4door white pick up truck, only attacked me she was on duty. They were YOUR friends from the Saco Ward church, YOUR church, attacking YOUR daughter on YOUR orders.

Since August 2021, you arrive at my apartment 3 times a week, to tell me I need to put curses on people at your workplace, citing that I have to, because you're my mother and I'm demon possessed and I should be putting my demons to good use by helping you kill three people you don't like at work.

I'm sick of you calling me demon possessed.

I'm sick of you demanding curses.

You have a severe mental problem and you need psychiatric help.

I'm sick of you spreading slanderous lies about me telling every one around town I cast curses and death spells, when I've never done either.

November 19, 2021, YOU friend Todd commit suicide and YOU told YOUR friends, that me and Etiole used suicide demons to drive him in front of a train.

YOUR friend Todd, who I did NOT know and had never heard of until 6 of YOUR friends showed up at Rotary Park November 21, 2021 to gun down Etiole while screaming that they were "killing the suicide demon", while we were walking my dog.

Something YOU now brag that YOU tricked YOUR friends into do, because you needed to get Etiole off my land in order to convince me to sell it and give YOU the money for a down payment on a house in Kennebunk.

Christmas Eve 2021, you arrived at MY apartment in Biddeford, STOLE my father's psychiatric medicine, medicine he needs to keep him NOT violent, because he has extremely violent schizophrenia and one hell of a criminal record that requires him to never be in the same room with a gun, let alone never have one. He was committed to a mental ward in 2007, and they ONLY let him out because he came to Biddeford to live with ME in MY apartment, and I was monitoring his meds.

After YOU stole his medicine, you took him with you daily to Kennebunk, to a mansion by Bush's house, to daily tell him, you would give him that house if he forced me to sell my land and give you the money from my land to buy that Kennebunk house.

Tell, me, what of THOSE things, is YOU doing anything FOR me?

No, means, no.

I'm done saying NO to you.

You are nothing but a land rapist.

Just like a rapist you refuse to accept No for an answer.

Every week since August 2021, I've said no to you.

No, I will not sell my land and hand you the money so you can buy a house in Kennebunk.

No, means no.

And no, I'm not happy with the fact that because I won't sell my land and give you the money, you are now threatening to dig up the graves on my land and move them to your land.

No, I'm not happy with you saying "You don't need the land, you don't use it, I need a house in Kennebunk, you ought to want to sell your land and give me the money!"

Yes, I do use my land.

Yes, I did see the car YOU dumped behind my motorhome. You have till the end of summer to get it off my land or the police are taking it.

What I do with my land is none of your damned business.

And for your information, my land is where I write my novels. I sit on the hill, and I write every day, all summer long. The only reason I didn't in 2021 is because I had Covid for 3 months.

No, telling me that my grandmother's evil spirit is haunting my land. also does not inspire me to want to sell it.

YOU are an evil, hate fill, mean, cruel, sadistic, child abusing, vindictive sociopath.

Get psychiatric help.

You need it.

What you are doing is wrong and you know it. You won't be so upset about what is painted on my car, if you didn't know it.

You can't hide from the truth forever. 

You can't hide your sins, your crimes, your cruelties forever.

Good things will never come to you, until you stop doing evil things to those around you.


Don't forget, my camera runs 24/7 and it's a simple matter of my uploading the video footage of you doing and saying things thing. Plus a lot of it, you said and did while I was livestreaming so people online have already seen and heard you say and do these things.

Yes, I even have video footage of the 4 bicycle brats who chased the homeless man into the train November 2021.

EVERYTHING, I have said here I have video footage of. That is WHY the FBI have been able to arrest so many people these past few months, in Biddeford.

Cutting the wires off our house November 2021 - you did on a livestream. People saw you do it WHILE you were doing it. 

All 2 of the FedEx workers you demanded death curses for - you did on a livestream.

Stealing my dad's meds - you did on a livestream.

Saying "What are we going to do about Wendy, she can't keep that land, I need a house" - you did on a livestream.

Threatening to dig up the graves on my land - you did on a livestream.

All that n-word stuff you said about the black men at your workplace - you did on a livestream.

People been seeing and hearing you live. They've already seen and heard a lot.

How do you plan to explain away all the hundreds of hours of video footage I have of you breaking into my bedroom during a live stream to threaten me, my family, my land?












To the people who asked about weird emails that you claim you got from someone claiming to be me, here are a few things to consider:

#1: I DO NOT use email and I NEVER have. if you get a letter from me it is going to be written in ink on paper, and in a stamped envelope the mail truck delivered to your mailbox at the end of your driveway. Since 1997 my aunt Barbara has been sending emails out to people CLAIMING they were from me, so in all likelihood whatever you got was actually from her. Her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater did the same thing throughout the early 2000s. And 57 of their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren have done it at well. No, I’m not special. They do this to THOUSANDS of people. They run a medical scam and pretend to be LOTS of big name famous authors, hoping you’ll click whatever link they put in the email, because the link is going to open a .exe phishing program to steal your credit card data and medical records. The FBI is currently investigating their medical fraud, email fraud, scam operation, so if you ARE getting emails claiming to be from me, PLEASE print up the email ad take it to the FBI office on Middle Street in Portland, Maine. FBI Agent Andy Drewer is in charge of not only the investigation of the 2015 murder of my family, but he is also in charge of the email impersonation fraud, and the stalker doing the email fraud.

#2: As you have stated, the topic of the emails is Etiole... do know that I have NEVER talked about Etiole, with ANYONE, online or offline. Unlike my mother, and her sister, my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, I happen to respect people’s privacy. As I have said before: Etiole is a Jewish, French, Nazi concentration camp refugee who came to Maine in 1953 with a boatload of about 300 other concentration camp survivors. He is covered with acid burns, so his skin looks ghastly white and horrifically disfigured, which is why he lives in the swamps around the Saco River. he is now in his 90s and is still as homeless as he was in the 1950s. He has severe posttraumatic stress disorder, can not speak/is mute, does not have the mental capacity to function in normal society on any level what so ever, and me and a few others have been taking care of him, giving him food and clothing and supplies and medical attention since 1978. There is nothing else you need to know. You do not need to know where he is or how to find him. If you want to see him, go to y livestream/video archive and watch the VOD where I visited him on livestream so you could see what he looked liked and how crippling his metal condition really is.

#3: I feel I shouldn’t have to say this, but apparently I do NEED to say this: Etiole is NOT an alien, nor is he a demon. The article Amphibious Aliens is free to read online. It goes over all the details of both the alien rumours and the demon rumours and debunks them all, while proving all the proof, including medical records and documentation of the people behind the rumour.

#4: The ONLY person who ever claimed I was abducted by aliens was my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, who was the leader of the Mane division of Heaven’s Gate for over 40 years. Heaven’s Gate if you do not know, was the UFO suicide cult who murdered 39 people with poisoned Kool-Aid in California in 1997, because Comet HaleBop flew over that night.

#5: I found out about my so-called alien abduction in 2007, when a MUFON tour group showed up in my yard asking to interview me. They carried with them more than a dozen books by various UFO/alien experts and over 100 newspaper articles, all featuring interviews with my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, interviews all from the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, all of them telling of how I was supposedly a demon possessed child, whose best friend was an alien named Etiole. It was 2007, and it was the first time I had ever heard the term “alien abduction” I didn’t even know what it was. The MUFON group - a group of 30,000 people - standing in my driveway 2007 all wanted to interview me as they pointed out NONE of the 30+ years of several hundred interviews with my aunts and uncles, not ONE of the interviews was WITH ME. This was the source of the April 2007 article titled Amphibious Aliens, where I shocked the MUFON world with the revelation that I was NOT an alien abductee, nor had I ever claimed to be one. It also infuriated me to find out that my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater had been running around telling people about Etiole, as I had never told ANYONE - NOT EVEN THEM - about Etiole. It turns out my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater go their alien and demon stories about Etiole from my mother and THIS is WHY I disowned my mother, shun her, and have had nothing to do with her, or her sister my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, since 2007. The slanderous alien and demon, gossip, rumours, and lies my mother and her sister my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater spread about me and Etiole are deplorable and I HATE my mother and her sister my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, and I hope they burn in hell for the alien and demon shit they pulled on me and my homeless boyfriend.

#6: That same Amphibious Aliens article ALSO debunks the stupid ass haunted car rumours. My 1964 Dodge 330 is NOT haunted and we fucking proved that. And AGAIN, the haunted car rumour, is sourced to my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater. That car ran over my aunt Barbara when she was 2 years old. At the time, the car belonged to Dr. Larochelle of Ocean Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine. My than 2-year-old aunt Barbara almost died and her older brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, came up with a haunted car/demon possession hoax to scam that elderly doctor out of $20,000, which my grandmother Eva Viola Atwater spent on a 3 year trip to Hawaii in 1973. The Atwaters scammed and terrorized the doctor so badly, that he sold the car to me in 1975 for $5 because he was convinced it was attacking people. The car became famous in 1983 when my then neighbour Stephen King used the demon possession story of my car as the basis for his book Christine. He named the car Christine because Christine is my real name and I owned the actual car. Stephen King returned 10 years later in 1994 to film the Thinner movie in my yard, because I’m the real world “Gypsy Witch” (priestess) that he based his fictional Gypsy Witch in Thinner off of. The movies Christine and Thinner are what in turn made ME famous, and started locals accusing me of being a witch with a demon car.

And as for the fucking Thinner movie - those bastards were trespassers. They just showed up unannounced, barged in, set up filming, without permits or licenses or contracts or permission or even telling us ahead of time that they were coming. No one in Stephen King’s crew acted legally, we are not in that movie willingly, they were not on our farm legally, no one ever received a penny for any of it, and to make things worse, Steven King had no right or permission to go o late night television and tell people my home address and tel his fucking fans to “go visit the Thinner Gypsies of Saco Maine”. They had no right to be on my farm, they had no right to be filming my family. They just dropped in one day. We had no clue who they were or why they were there and it took us fucking 5 hours to chase those trespassing bastards and their film crew off our farm.

In short: I don’t use email, so you NEVER got an email from me. I’m not a witch. My car isn’t haunted. Etiole is not a demon. Etiole is also not an alien. And I was never abducted by aliens.

Also, I don’t know what you are talking about with the house stuff. I’m NOT trying to build a house, I’ve NEVER tried to build a house, I have never applied for a house permit, I’ve never been denied for a house permit because I’ve never even tried to get one. You clearly have me mixed up with someone else.

I’m at 146 Portland Ave. I have 2 neighbours who are building a house: 144 Portland Ave next door to me and 139 Portland Ave across the street from me. I think you mean one of them. My neighbour at 144, has been trying to build a house for 17 years and the town hall has been giving them the runaround. I think SHE at 144 Portland Ave is the one you mean, not me at 146. You seem to have us mixed up somehow.

SHE at 144 is the one putting in a septic system, not me at 146. I’m the one with the pink motorhome and the 35-year-old black Volvo. she’s the one with the brand new big black car and the log cabin house.

You have seriously mixed the two of us up big time.

Understandable considering it was HER family at 144 fighting with the Cyr Clan over a septic tank in 2014, and the Cyr Clan hired a hitman who accidentally murdered MY children, ten of them and nailed their heads to my motorhome door, at 146 than the white-haired man with the green pick-up truck has spent the last 7 years TELLING YOU via running up the street knocking on doors, tell you that it was EelKat trying to build a house, ONLY telling you that to try to cover his ass for mixing up my children at 146 when it was my neighbours children at 144 that was the ACTUAL target.

This is not speculation, the FBI have 100% positive proof that she and her children, not me and my children were the intended target because her family was having a fight with some Connecticut based heroin drug gang that calls itself the Cyr Clan over the septic tank. The hit men the Cyr Clan hire got the wrong house when they murdered my family. And now the Cyr Clan’s trying to convince you that I was the one building a house. I have no interest in a house. Why would I? I’m a Gypsy, I’ve never lived in a house. I’ve always lived in cars and tents my whole life. I have no interest in a house on any level whatsoever. I don’t NEED one, I never have. And you local people should know that. When my health is bad, I rent apartments in Biddeford. I’ve done this for 50 years now. You know that. You ALL know that. I’ve owned 146 Portland Ave since 1975. You people know me. Why are you pretending you don’t?

I’m the feral child who lived in a cage in a woodshed from the time I was 8 until I was 31. Did you all forget that? Etiole was the local homeless man who used to break into the woodshed and break the lock off the cage and take me out into the swamp to hide me from my bastard uncles. Did you forget that too? The ONLY reason any of you spread your fucking rumours and lies about me and Etiole, calling me a witch and Etiole a demon or alien, and spreading lies about me building houses, is because my Uncle Bruce and his Heaven’s Gate friends, told you those lies.

Did you forget what Heaven’s Gate is, what they fucking did? They are an UFO Alien Cult, who murdered 39 people with poisoned koolaid, because they comet Hale Bop was God’s fucking mother ship. They see fucking aliens EVERYWHERE. In everything. And THEY are the ones who started the stupid ass rumour of Etiole being an alien.

Look at the SOURCE of the alien abduction rumour. My Uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater. One of George Applewhite’s thugs. George Applewhite, a follower of Jim Jones, that’s WHY they killed everyone with kool-aid, because they were fans of Jim Jones, and they wanted to jump onboard God’s mothership like Jonestown did! Did you forget that? THAT fucking lunatic, a fan of Jim Jones, who worked for George Applewhite, called Etiole an alien, because Bruce CALLED EVERYONE aliens.

Bruce locked me in a cage, and Etiole broke me out of it and hide me in the swamps, and THAT is what Bruce called an alien abduction. But Etiole is no alien. He’s just a local homeless man. Etiole’s not even his name. I don’t tell anyone his name to protect him from you fucking jackasses who are too stupid to believe he’s just a normal man. My uncle Buce is a fucking lunatic who spends 24 hours a day gibbering madness and nonsense about aliens and demons.

As for the garbage that keeps being dumped on my land… you have all SEEN the big green dump truck with the black and silver striped nose, that illegally trespasses on my land and dumps that fucking garbage.

Open your eyes and look around. You can SEE the truth. The house being built is at 144 Portland Ave NOT 146. You can SEE that, now that the house is up.

Like I’ve been saying right along, it is NOT me building a house. It NEVER has been. I don’t know why you let that idiot try to gaslight you with lies about me building a house, when you can SEE the house is NOT going up on MY land. It’s going up on my NEIGHBOUR’S land.

I know you people are NOT THAT stupid. The white-haired man with the green pickup truck is LYING to you, and you can SEE that for yourselves, just by looking at WHICH property the house is being built on.

Look around... does it LOOK like there is a house being built at 146 Portland Ave where the pink motorhome is? Use your brain and open your eyes. See the truth. The truth will set you free.

Now look next door to 144, you CAN SEE that THEY NOT ME are the one building a house, now that it’s almost finished.

I’d say the white-haired man in the green pickup truck has a lot of explaining to do, like explaining WHY h’s hell bent on trying to convince the town I’m the one putting up a house, when I’ve never even applied for a building permit. Building permits are public record. Go look at the town hall for yourself.

Also, please explain to me HOW the white-haired man with the green pick truck has such very detailed info about the murder of my family, when the records are sealed, not public access, and about 90% of the details were withheld from the public and are know ONLY to myself, the murderer, the police, and FBI? There is ZERO public access to the stuff h is saying happened on April 10, 2015... you know that, right? So HOW did he get the info he has? Explain THAT.

please report any future such emails you receive to FBI agent Andy Drewer 207-774-9322

>>>I’m just more cowardly than they are and I’m afraid of the truth and criticism. In your opinion, what makes someone mean?

When I think of mean, I think of my uncles. 3 in particular. My mother had 12 older brothers and 3 of them all claimed to be “king” (we are Gypsies, Gypsy Kings are a thing). And they fought over it badly. They ended up jointly ruling over the clan, each competing with each other to out-king the other, each doing progressively meaner things to the clan members, especially the female children.

Things they did, just to me, included:

When I was 4 Uncle Bruce stabbed me with a foundation nail - an iron rod over 2 feet long - he drove into my hip, through my pelvis and out my other thigh. I have been crippled and walked with a cane since I was a toddler, because of it. His reason? I was unable to memorize the entirety of chapter 1 of the book of Genesis.

When I was 8 years old, same uncle locked me in a cage that was made for trapping raccoons. He gave me 1 salted herring fish to eat once every 12 days. He let me out only on Sundays to go to church. I lived in that cage for 27 years, until the Heaven’s Gate FBI raid shut down Heaven’s Gate in 1997, after they killed 39 people with Kool-aid. Yes, I am THAT EelKat, the child who lived in a cage, the feral child you see pictures of in almost every college Psychology book. I am the child who survived Heaven’s Gate because I was locked in a cage in a woodshed when they drank their kool aid under the shadow of comet HaleBop. I was 31 years old when the FBI raid rescued me from that cage.

When I was 14 years old, because I was unable to recite from memory the entire book, all chapters of Ecclesiastes, that same uncle beat me in the face with a cinder block brick, breaking my jaw, and cause me to be “mute” until had surgery to fix my jaw when I was 42 years old. From the time I was 14 until 42, I was unable to speak due to the damage of my jaw.

In those 27 years from age 8 to age 31, I was let out of the cage every Sunday to be taken to church and sold or $12k to the priests, who raped me repeatedly, weekly, for 27 years.

While my uncle helped Applewhite to run Heaven’s Gate, he fled the night of Hale Bop. He did not kill himself with everyone else.

Social workers took me after the FBI raid. It took them years to teach me how to not be terrified by the sight of Humans. They say I suffer from having no outward sign of emotions, and that it was caused by my never having experienced a single good event in my early life.

At the time of the FBI raid at 144, 146, and 148 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, I was one of more than 120 girls the FBI rescued out of cages. All of whom had been raped hundreds of times by priests from Cape Elizabeth, Saco, and Sanford wards of the LDS/Mormon church. Including 16 bishops, an OOB town manager, and several OOB motel owners, all of whom were in the habit of paying $12k to rape girls under the age of 10 years old.

The man with the green truck, who likes to spread rumours about me and Etiole and my house, was one of Bruce’s top customers. He had a thing for numbers and raped 7-year-olds, 14-year-olds, and 21-year-olds because he was obsessed with doing everything in 7s.

After years of social workers teaching me how to live with normal, not abusive Humans. I was 37 when I got my GED and while I was at the high school doing that, those uncles built a grease fryer bomb burned my house down to punish me for getting a GED.

2 years later, while I was in college taking classes to learn grammar and writing, three of them, that same uncle and 2 women I had never seen before, arrived at the college armed with golf clubs and attacked me when I was coming out of the college. I was 8 months pregnant at the time. They killed my baby, broke my spine, broke my hip, broke my pelvis, broke my knees. I was paralyzed for 5 months. It took me 18 months to get out of the wheelchair and relearn to walk, and to this day I am still crippled.

That’s the price I paid to learn how to read and write, in a culture that believes it is okay to execute women who commit the sin of learning how to write.

August 8, 2013, that same uncle paid a local construction worker $600 to drive a backhoe over my house.

April 10, 2015, that same uncle and a group of 74 members of the new reorganized Heaven’s Gate, attacked my farm. 14 men held me down with guns to my head, while the others used hand band saws to kill and behead 10 of my 12 children and then nailed their heads to my door.

And it’s very easy to Google the news reports and photos of all of it.

That is what I think of when I hear the word “mean”. My uncle Bruce was a very mean person.

My uncle Bruce Mervin Atwater is a monster. And he calls EVERYONE an alien abductee or a demon. Did you fucking forget that?

No, I have no updates on Etiole.

He was shot by a local lunatic.

No, he’s not okay.

And I am getting sick of this fucking ass rumour of Etiole being an alien or a demon.

The fact of Etiole being an alien is a stupid urban myth started by some crazy ass locals.

The fact of Etiole being a demon is a stupid urban legend created by some religion crazed nuts.

Etiole is an old man covered with acid burns. His skin is white and face disfigured from acid burns. He’s not an alien, and he’s not a demon. And you people who call him an alien and call him a demon, you’re all fucking crazy.

Etiole is a homeless Jewish man who has no skin because they tortured him in a Nazi concentration camp in France during WW2. He came to Maine in 1953 with a bunch of other refugees. He has posttraumatic stress disorder really bad and he’s terrified of people. He can’t function in normal society, so hides in the forests. He’s not an alien, he’s not a demon, he’s not a cryptid. He’s a disfigured old man, now in late 90s. He barely get around. He doesn’t you people harassing him like this. Why can’t you people leave him alone? Why are you all so damned desperate to believe in aliens or demons that you have to harass a helpless old man? Leave him alone. Why can’t you leave him alone? What is wrong with you people?

Read The Amphibious Aliens article, where back in 2007, I DEBUNKED every one of you stupid ass alien, cryptic, demon, and haunted car rumours. Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World’s Most Haunted Car, goes over every even from the 1970s, that started the fucking rumour, and lists off how every alien, demon, and haunted car rumour was proven to be nothing but a hoax started by Mervin Bruce Atwater. Every single one of those rumours was started by that one man, and were proven to ALL be hoaxes he perpetrated to try to get money out of Dr Larochelle, the man who hit Mervin’s younger sister with a car. They tried to convince the old doctor his car had a demon living in it and they scammed the doctor out of $20,000 back in the 1970s. THAT is how and why the demon car rumour got started. I bought the car in 1975. Etiole started living in it in 1978. And that is how me and Etiole got dragged into the fucking ass rumours about a demon car.

The article Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World’s Most Haunted Car DEBUNKS ALL of the alien, cryptid, demon, and haunted car rumours. Every last one of them.

The car is not haunted and Etiole is not a demon.

You people who believe my car is haunted or think that Etiole is a demon, you are all fucking retarded.

You are slandering me!

You are slandering Etiole!

You are slandering my cars!

I’m sick of it!

Grow up and go get a damned fucking brain!

I’m sick of you people harassing me and Etiole over stupid shit started by brain dead idiots.

And the same goes for the so-called World’s Most Haunted Car. That rumour was started by the same person. That car was proved years ago, to have a mechanical issue that caused it to start and drive ahead until it hit something. No one ever thought to look at the starter. I’m the 3rd owner of the car. I changed the malfunctioning starter and a so called ‘haunted” stuff the car did, went away. It was a problem with the starter, only that and nothing more.

And these people in Biddeford right now, getting you all worked up - if you hadn’t noticed they ARE Mervin Bruce Atwater’s family.

So it’s STILL the same one fucking person running around getting things stirred up. The Atwaters. My fucking uncles. Like usual.

Yesterday at Rotary Park, Biddeford, Maine, a group of people armed with rifles, went down the track team trail behind the soccer field and started shooting... scared the crap out of the 50 or so children and their 100+ parents, got the 30+ dogs in the dog park howling... the sky filled with thousands of Canadian geese, and the park goers assumed the group was hunting geese and started commenting on the fact that hunting was not allowed in Rotary Park.

A few minutes later, a grey/white haired, bearded man, who looks a lot like Kenny Rogers, but not as fat, with a black dog of a German Shepard-Lab mix look, and a woman with pageboy greyish-blond hair, both about late 60s, marched up to me in the park, bragged they had killed Etiole, stating that he has caused their son whom they called “Todd” to jump in front of a train 3 days earlier.

You know what, I knew that homeless man and HE never mentioned it.

You people are just looking for someone to blame, and think because I’m not white, I wear a hijab, and I have a mural painting on my car, you think you are justified on pointing blame at me for something I had no part in.

That homeless man was obsessed with the fact that his dog and son had been taken away from him.

It’s NOT the evil eye as they called it. It’s The eye of The Grigori Archangels aka The Watchers, from the Apocrypha in the Bible. It’s the blue wings of the Seraphim Archangels aka The Watchers. The Watchers are my Guardian angels. I paint them on everything, I sew it on tapestries, it’s on my car, my motorhome, I embroider it on pillows and clothes, paint it on mirrors, paint canvases art for art galleries with it. It’s the blue eyes wings of the archangels as described in the Bible. I’m not sure why they were calling it the Evil Eye.

It’s the Eye of God, the hamsa. A Jewish protection symbol. Etiole’s Jewish, he draws it on everything, so that’s why I do as well.

I’m sick of you jackasses spreading you wild ass rumours about me.

You’re nothing but a bunch of trouble making busy bodies who can’t mind your own fucking business.

I’m not bothering a single damned one of you, so why the fuck are you bothering me?

Why can’t you stupid ass people leave me alone?

There is no reason for a damned one of you to be in my yard.

There is no reason for a damned one of you to be chasing down Etiole.

There is no reason for a damned one of you to be having psychotic meltdowns over my car!

What is wrong with you people?

Fucking brain dead herd mentality that’s all this is.

One of you ran around screaming like a lunatic and rest of you all decided to join in.

But I also ask... WHY would you be scared of me or Etiole? It makes me ask who has been feeding you lies about me? Who has been feeding you lies about Etiole?

I am a crippled elderly woman. I can barely stand up. I’ve been paralyzed and bedridden since the golf club attack November 14, 2013. I’m only just now in 2021 just starting to walk again, and I can barely do that. I have no grip strength so I struggle to even hold me cane. The golf clubs damaged my spine, my nerves, most of my organs don’t function because of the nerve damage to my spine. I struggle to even breath, just sitting up in bed is enough to collapse my lungs. I have no bladder or bowel movement control, I have to wear diapers. What exactly is it you think I can even do?

And Etiole? The old hermit Nazi concentration camp survivor? He’s over 100 years old now, he hasn’t been able to walk, or sit up, or eat on his own, in almost 20 years. He’s dying. What exactly are you expecting him to do?

Etiole is NOT an alien.

Etiole is not a demon.

I am not a witch.

None of my cars are haunted.

I’ve been saying it for years. Why won’t you listen to me?

You are slandering me!

You are slandering Etiole!

You are slandering my cars!

I’m sick of it!

Grow up and go get a damned fucking brain!

I’m sick of you calling Etiole a demon.

I’m sick of you calling Etiole an alien.

I’m sick of you calling me a witch.

I’m sick of you saying one car after another is haunted.

This whole thing boils down to your fucking white privilege. You know that right?

Your white ass can’t stand the fact that we non-white Gypsies live here, so you have to make up stupid ass supernatural spooky shit about us.

You don’t like that I wear the traditional dress of my people instead of dressing like an American, so you feel justified in calling me a witch and making up spook occult lies about me.

I wear hijab and veils and caftan and silk and it bother’s you that I’m not scum diving in trashy t shirts and jeans like the rest of you.

I paint my cars, same as we painted our wagons and vardos for centuries, and it bothers you because it looks different.

Etiole is a Jew, and your anti-Semite white privilege kicks in to hate him for being born Jewish.

Etiole has scars, so you’re scared of him

I’m different.

Etiole’s different.

My cars are different.

And when you get right down to it, that’s ALL any of this is about.

Me, Etiole, and my cars don’t fit in with your fucking ass white privileged ideas of “normal” and that makes you uncomfortable and you try to make the uncomfortable go away by dehumanizing us with your stupid ass rumours.

There are no witches.

There are no aliens.

There are no demons.

There are just a bunch of whinny ass white privileged brats running around making trouble for anyone who’s not white enough for them.

Grow the fuck up!

Official Home Page Of The Quaraun Series
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: Bizarro Fantasy


The Quaraun Universe: 

A world where the most powerful and most terrifying super villain is a Necromancer who wears pink sequined Las Vegas show girl feather dresses and is too busy resurrecting dead roses and unicorns to build an army of the dead.


We are fast coming up on the 50th anniversary since the release of the first book in the Quaraun series:

Friends Are Forever, A Tale of The Twighlight Manor

For the 50th Anniversary of the series, we are making the entire series available as a free to read web-novel... all 200+ novels and 2,000+ short stories.


Update: December 15, 2021

Royal Road has just given us the green light to go ahead and start uploading the entire Quaraun series to their website. 

As webnovels have to uploaded 1 page at a time and the series spans more than 2 million pages, this is going to be a VERY LONG process of getting the entire series moved to Royal Road.

If you ever wanted to read the series and didn't have access to the short run limited edition paperbacks, you will soon be able to read the entire series online.


Yes, this will include "The Wild Years", "The Twighlight Manor Years", and "The White Rock Years"  all of which have been out of print since 1987.



You are reading the 50th Anniversary Edition Re-Publication of a very old series that was originally published in the 1970s and has been out-of-print for more than 30 years.

On September 23, 2028, my primary series, The Quaraun Series, will celebrate its 50th anniversary since volume 1 was published. In prep for its 50th anniversary, I am uploading all 2,000+ short stories in the series as a massive collection here on Royal Road.

I'm adding this list of "possible warnings" because, this series has met with complaints in the past, about these particular "topics" and past readers pointed out that having "trigger warnings" for these things, would have caused less controversy from the readers who got upset. That said this warning is for the ENTIRE series as a whole (all 200+ novels and 2,000+ short stories.), and may or may not apply to each individual chapter.

So, here you go:

Niche/Fetish (warning?): Main character, Quaraun, is bisexual and polygamous, and has multiple lovers throughout the series. He has 12 foot long Rapunzel hair that is actually JellyFish tentacles, and 158 genital piercings, and most of his lovers are "furries" of some sort. As such hair fetishes, furry fetishes, tentacle fetishes, old age fetishes, haram fetishes, and piercing fetishes abound throughout the series, but sex scenes are VERY RARE (of the 2,000+ already written stories there are only 16 which contain sex scenes) so, if you came here looking for sex scenes, know it could be many months of daily uploads before you see one.

PoV Note/Warning: The main character Quaraun is a villian/serial killer, his primary lover BoomFuzzy the Unicorn/King Gwallmaiic is a mass murdering war criminal, and his secondary lover GhoulSpawn the sheep-Demon, is a kleptomaniac and self serving time traveller who changes history on a whim to serve his own desires. The 3 main leads are outright villains. Not anti-heros, not morally grey, but outright Human hating super villains all 3 of whom are non-Humans. The series ends in 2525 because Quaraun blows up the Earth and kills all Humans, after previously in 1458, blowing up 3 solar systems and killing all life on those planets too.

Let me repeat: the main character is a mega OP completely unstoppable mawahahahahahaha supervillain with out-right god-powers, whom no superhero ever can or ever will defeat and the end of the series is literally he blows up the planet - this is the story of his life. He never progresses to become "good" and he never changes his ways, other than to become even more evil as time goes by.

Some readers like this. Other readers don't. I add this note as a potential warning for those who would rather avoid these sorts of evil character PoVs.

Additional Note (warning?): BL? Maybe? Depending on what you call BL. The primary Romance of the series involves Quaraun and his 2 male lovers BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn, which classifies as BL, I suppose, but, they ARE NOT boys. Quaraun is elderly, as is BoomFuzzy, and while GhoulSpawn is drastically younger than them, he too is still a mature adult, whom would classify as middle-aged. There are no young, teen, or even remotely youthful characters in the series, and the term BL, implies boys/teens/young adults. The youngest character in the series is GhoulSpawn and at best he'd pass for a man in his 40s; while main character, Quaraun is the equivalent of a 70 year old man; and BoomFuzzy is the equivalent of a man in his 90s. I point this fact out, because in the past, I've had readers say they only read characters their own age and would liked to have had a warning up front that the 3 leading men were all older/mature/elderly men.

Possible Trigger Warnings: The series contains mentions/scenes of drinking, drug use, absythine, LSD, opium, strong violence, domestic abuse, gaslighting, psychological manipulation, cutting, suicide attempts, actual suicide happening, body horror, gore, and violent murder.

NOTE: This is a long running short story collection, that was originally published in literary magazines in the 1970s and 1980s. Each “chapter” is its own short story that stands on its own. The collected chapters, as a whole, tell many facets of the events surrounding Quaraun’s life and the lives of his friends and family. As such, the “chapters” do not progress in a linear beginning to end fashion, rather, they move forward and backward in time, including time travel portal travel, and flashbacks. The full series spans a time period from 800A.D. to the year 2525, with stories zipping back and forth to any era between those years.

This means you can read each “chapter” on its own, in any order, without reading the ones before or after it, or can read them in any order you please, if you choose to do so.

Very Large Haram Warning: Spouses, who desire separate bedrooms are given them, but for the most part, Quaraun has ALL of his lovers sleeping with him at night, all together in a pile of furs on the floor, as there are just too many of them to all fit in a bed together. While sex scenes are rare, they do include 3, 5, or more people at once. And while sex scenes themselves rarely happen, bedroom scenes are VERY common appearing in many chapters, and Quaraun's spouses all sleep with him, as in there are 3, 5, 10, or more people hugging, kissing, cuddling, and sleeping together all at the same time. In total Quaraun has more than 300 spouses, lovers, and concubines, both male and female.

The Main Characters are NOT Humans: There are as follows:

 Quaraun Swanzen aka Quaraun The Insane aka The Pink Necromancer aka SunTa aka The Grand High Emperor of The Triple Planets: An albino Moon Elf aka an Alien Elf from another galaxy, whom has been possessed by a Thullid, a parasitic JellyFish that eat his brain and controls his body. Quaraun always wears pink, over the top pink show-girl dresses with lots of sequins and feathers, he is a transvestite, bordering on being a drag queen. Quaraun's hair is 12 feet long, and he frequently walks with his hair instead of his legs, leaving him floating several feet in the air, gliding along not touching the ground, his long hair moving beneath him like snakes to move him along. Quaraun does not speak any Human languages. He speaks only Elvish and Thullid. Later in the series he becomes near mute and the series than takes on more narration vis his thoughts and less dialogue between characters. Quaraun is the primary PoV character, the narration is often his internal monologue. Quaraun is 750 years or older throughout most of the series. By the time period  of "The Wild Years", "The Twighlight Manor Years", and "The White Rock Years" time periods Quaraun is over 2,000 years old, nearing the end of his life and struggling to get around. Gremlin takes over as the main character in these eras of the series. In addition to being a Necromancer, Quaraun is also a Psion and a Wish Granting Di'Jinn trickster who is compelled to grant any wish he hears wither he wants to or not. Quaraun is 5'6"

Quaraun's Haram of Principal Lovers:

King Gwallmaiic, The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Lich King of Fire Mountain, aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn Master Candy Chef: He is a Phooka, a type of evil trickster Faerie. In his true form he is a black water horse with a silver horn, but he can shapeshift to look like any living thing. He spend most of his life either as a Black Unicorn, a Purple Unicorn, or a little dark skinned "Leprechaun-like" man with massive dreadlocks that reach to his knees. BoomFuzzy speaks English to most characters, and speaks Elvish when talking to Quaraun, thus his dialogue is written two different ways, depending on his he's talking to Quaraun or someone else. Being a Lich, he also has a Skeleton-Ghost form that can be either Horse or Humanoid, in either case it is a glowing blue skeleton, the bones made out of blue quartz crystal. In his Lich form he sucks the warmth out of the air, and everything around him freezes. In Quaraun's universe Lich's are the deadliest and most dangerous of all monsters, and The Elf Eater is the oldest, most powerful of all the Liches. He is over 10,000 years old. With full control over the weather, water, ice, and snow, BoomFuzzy can and has frozen entire planets, started the Ice Age that killed the dinosaurs on Earth, and summons massive storm fronts to wipe out cities when he gets angry at someone in the city. While Quaraun is classified as the most powerful wizard, to ever live, BoomFuzzy is classified as the most evil. His horse form resembles a Shetland pony the size of a goat. In his Humanoid form BoomFuzzy is 5'1"

GhoulSpawn aka Gremlin: He is an Ursiug a sheep-man-demon, similar to a Satyr, from Welsh folklore. From the waste down he is a Cotswold Sheep with 15 inch long golden wool. His hair, also is sheep wool and is long enough he can sit on it. He also has a long tail, and cloven hooves. He paints his hooves gold. As GhoulSpawn he keeps his horns sawed off and filed down, hidden under his hair. After GhoulSpawn dies in a Thullid attack, Gremlin, the Jellyfish-type Thullid that took his body, finds he has GhoulSpawn's memories and can not shake GhoulSpawn's love for Quaraun, resulting in Gremlin falling in love with Quaraun as well and continuing on as Quaraun's love in spite of now being a different person possessing the same body. Gremlin let's his horns grow and thus has large ram's horns on his head. GhoulSpawn is from the future. In 1974 he buys a 1974 AMC Gremlin not realizing it is portal/time machine, and it sends him back to the 1400s where he meets Quaraun. He is 6'2" not counting his horns. He is often a PoV character, when Quaraun is otherwise not around or not able to talk. The youngest character, GhoulSpawn was born in 1959. He was also born in Hell and is a flame throwing, fire breathing Chaos Demon who cast fireballs, turns rivers into magma, and rains brimstone and fire on villages. He also commands an army of gold glittering, fire breathing Cotswold demon-sheep, and is often seen as a "simple shepherd" herding his sheep.

When the series first started Gremlin was the very first character I created, and he was the original main character. Many of the early stories do not contain Quaraun because of this. Stories set in "The Wild Years", "The Twighlight Manor Years", and "The White Rock Years" time periods, tend to feature Gremlin as the MC and are from his PoV. Quaraun is often mute, near mute, or not in the story at all, in these three eras.

ZooLock: He is a squid-type Thullid. He has a squid-like head, puce-pink skin and 8 long octopus-tentacles on his face which he uses like extra hands. He is 6'2" but hunches over when he walks, so appears to be much shorter. He tends to deliberately walk in a way to keep his head lower than Quaraun's, and Quaraun is 5'6"

Pipiyata: Another Moon Elf, she is Quaraun's primary "lead" wife and the one he classifies as his Queen. Her children are the only one's he acknowledges as royalty or heirs to his throne. She is the mother of Quaraun's favorite twin sons King Vielder and Melaca. Melaca being the father of Quaraun's favorite grandson Roderic. Roderic being the father of Quaraun's two favorite great-grandsons Etiole and The Dazzling Razzbury.

Empress Glacius: A Chrystonite, which is essentially blue skinned Frost Elves from another galaxy. She takes over as Epresses of The Triple Planets after Quaraun's Primary wife Pipiyata dies. She is the mother of Quaraun's youngest son Dr. Vangonese. Dr. Vangonese being the father of one of Quaraun's favorite grandsons, AlKeeme.

FarDarrig: A Vampire Leprechaun who wears a long trench coat made out of patchwork Human skins. He has brown skin, and long white hair and beard, both of which drag on the ground. He is 5'3"

BeLuna: A Pink Orchid Gnome. She has green skin and pink hair and is about 3 feet tall. Except when I forget, and sometimes she is written as having pink skin and green hair. After noticing the error, rather than correct it, I concluded that she changes colour based on his mood.

Bullgaar: A half mountain Troll, half Dwarf. He is 6'4" and is often seen as a Troll by other character, though he identifies as a Dwarf.

Quaraun has several other lovers, but most appear only as "one shot" characters seen only in one story, often without being named. ALL of Quaraun's male lovers are listed above. All of the rest, the un-named and rarely mentioned lovers are females. The females listed above are the only ones' Quaraun spends large amounts of time with. Quaraun has 37 other "legitimate" children by these other wives, but they are rarely brought up. Quaraun also has more than 200 Human prostitutes in as many cities, whom he frequently visits and most of them have "illegitimate" half-Elf children by him, that he supports. The reader who pays attention to the tavern visits will often notice seen of Quaraun paying huge amounts of money to certain prostitutes, instructing them to spend it on their children. These are the prostitutes whom are mothers of his half-Human children. While most of Quaraun's half-Human children are never mentioned nor given names, one comes forward throughout the series as a rival wizard, calling himself HellBorne The Summoner of The Darkness.

The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane follows the everyday life of The Pink Necromancer, a Moon Elf wizard, whom was deemed “insane” after murdering his wife and children, in an attempt to resurrect his dead lover as a Lich. The series is set on an alternative Earth, that is mostly real Earth, with magical and magic elements races added, spanning from the year of Quaraun’s birth 800A.D. to the year of his death 2525, and as he is a homeless travelling wizard for hire, the stories can take place anywhere.

Also known as The Sacred Pink JellyFish aka SunTa, Quaraun lives a double life as the last female Thullid (Lovecraftian-type female alien JellyFish), whom has eaten the brain of male Moon Elf Quaraun, and is living in his reanimated corpse passing herself off as him, while she hides her 7million eggs in his skull, waiting for the right time to implant them in Human hosts and turn the world into Thullids.

I started this series in 1978 and in the 43 years of writing it, it now spans 200+ volumes containing 2,000+ short stories. Which means it could take me a few years to get them uploaded. Plus I’m still writing new content for the series weekly as well. uploads will be a mix of old and new writing. I don’t know how many of them I will be uploading here to Royal Road or how frequent uploads will be. I will plan for 1-x-week and hope for 1-x-day.

I should probably put a side note in here, as it has been known to bother people:

1: The MCs are Gypsies, because I am in real life, a Gypsy. I am THE EelKat, yes. The ACTUAL REAL "Gypsy Witch" from Stephen King's Thinner - not the actress, but the real person the actress was acting out. The Thinner movie was filmed on my farm. My MC's are the same race and culture as me, as I have no experience in American culture or how to write American characters. There are A LOT of people out there who hate Gypsies, hate Gypsy authors, and boycotted Gypsy characters. This is a thing my family has had to live with for decades. 

If you are someone who hates Gypsies, doesn't want to read books written by Gypsies, and doesn't want to read about accurately represented Gypsy characters in fiction... move on, there's nothing for you here.

2: Gypsy women wear hijab and modesty, our culture sees dancing and music as grave sins, we don't belly dance, we don't play violin around campfires. 99.99% of what gets passed off in media as "Gypsies" has absolutely nothing to do with our real world culture. My characters wear modesty and hijab.

My MC, is a male who dresses as a female. HE wears long veils, sari, hijab, and caftan. In the past there has been a trend of haters coming down on my work because I write a hijab wearing male MC. If this bothers you, please, just move on.

3: When people hear that I write "Harem Genre" they tend to think, sex/erotica/porn written by horny teen virgins who wouldn't know sex if it hit them in the face. No. My culture is a polygamous culture. I write what I know. My mother has 2 husbands, my grandfather had 2 wives, my aunt with the most husbands has 9 husbands, my uncle with the most wives has 15 wives. In total there are 4,000 people in my family, 400+ of them are just 1st cousins my same age. We all live together as a single family unite, on a farm, in lots of RVs, wagons, and tents. There is no female in my family with fewer than 4 children, the average is 8 births per wife, the wife with the most children gave birth to 23 babies, and most of the men in my family have 30 to 100 children.

When I say I write "Harem genre" it's based off of our real world Gypsy culture. And it has nothing to do with sex, erotica, or porn. Think of it as "Little House on the Prairie"- style family slice of life drama with lots of Ma's per every Pa. If you came here looking for sex, erotica, or porn because you saw the "haram" tag, you are in the wrong place.

REAL harem/polygamous lifestyle, focuses on family units, and is not focused on sex. And we hate the way Harem Erotica and Harem Porn represents our culture as though it was something to be fetishised and mocked. I'm afraid you will find my works do not fall into the typical "harem porn" that most people seem to expect when they hear the word "harem".

Let me repeat: if you came here looking for sex, erotica, or porn because you saw the "haram" tag, you are in the wrong place. Harems here are ACCURATELY presented as actual large families, specifically large Gypsy families, written by real Gypsies who actually live this lifestyle in the real world. I do not write sex. erotica, or porn, and you'll be extremely disapointed if you read my work looking for such things.

Thank you for understanding.

I'm going to put this note at the start of the first chapter from each volume, here on Royal Road, that way, you can see it, regardless of which volume you read first, and if you ever want to refer back to it, it'll always be at the start of every Chapter 1.

If any of those things bother you, you probably shouldn't read The Quaraun Series. Otherwise, enjoy!


Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is SplatterPunk Horror Gorn Rated M18+ for extreme graphic violence, grizzly depictions of suicide, and you must be 18 or older to buy it if you live in America, Japan, Australia, Germany, or any other country with government laws regulating explicit media

Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?


















I think it's stupid that the average Mainer is such a cry baby whimpering snowflake that I have a court order issued by the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall via the Biddeford District Court requiring I tell you this, but apparently my books are deemed to violent for the retards, I mean citizens of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, so here you go, a court required trigger warning for you all,...


I repeat, I am required by court order of the American federal government to put a warning telling you that there is a 

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING

 for the Quaraun series, as it is 200+ volumes, 8 million+ words of steady, endless, non-stop suicide, suicide references, depression, and suicidal characters attempting suicide in nearly every chapter of every volume!

Don't be fooled by the pink covers. The Quaraun series has won awards for being among the darkest novels ever published.

It's one of the few series so dark, so disturbing, so gory, so bloody, and so focused on putting suicide in your face that...

...on January 6, 2016 the American government has issued a court order declaring I was required to put M18+ book rating on the cover, as well as banned 27 volumes of the Quaraun series from being sold in America.

If you have any questions regarding this court order issued by the Old Orchard Beach, Maine Town Hall, an division of the American Government,  which violates the first amendment, where we are clearly told the government can not censor freedom of speech...

and if you want to read the court orders yourself, here they are - 

please head to the State of Maine, Biddeford District Court and ask for copies of


Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574 and CV-15-58/CV-15-59


the Alfred Superior Court Docket #CV-15-299


and the Portland Superior Law Court Docket #YOR-15-253


Additionally, you can find more information by going to the Old Orchard Beach Police Department and requesting copies of ALL police reports made in regards to 144, 146, and 146a Portland Avenue, from 2001 to 2016 (approximately 300 reports).


























FAQs: What happened to The Summoner of Darkness? The book was never released and the whole tour was cancelled.

The Summoner of Darkness, my NaNoWriMo 2014 novel that was due to release summer 2015.

It never got released because my family was murdered April 10, 2015, and I obviously had to stop work on the novel. 

I've had quite a bit of trouble going back into working on Summoner of Darkness, due to events that happened while I was writing it.

It was due to release June 2015 and we - me and my family - had just bought my motorhome a few weeks earlier (February 21) because we had a cross country book signing tour planned, which included a booth at the San Diego Comicon (do you have any idea how hard it is to get into that convention as a guest speaker?) and we were all going together.

But than my family was murdered April 10, 2015 and I stopped work on the book, and I had to cancel 57 book signings/lectures/workshops in 43 states, as well.

So, the tour was cancelled, the book was never released because it was never finished, and my family is dead.

I stopped working on the book and started playing Witcher 3.

I've been playing Witcher 3 ever since and I've not been able to go back into writing new novels for The Quaraun series without massive post traumatic stress disorder issues. That's why there has been no new releases for The Quaraun series since April 10, 2015.

I've not published anything at all since my family was murdered. 

No novels. No short stories. Not just the Quaraun series. No series at all. Not on any of my 15 other pennames either. Not for Disney or Harlequin either. Nothing. No where, in over 6 years.

I don't know when or if I'll go back to writing.

Sorry, but, my entire family was murdered and my life has been 24 hours a day every day for weeks, months, now years, of police investigations, and FBI investigations, and lawyers and court and even finding time to write between all of that, is just very difficult right now.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case. If you have information about the April 10, 2015 murder of my family or any of the attacks on our home and relatives, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 




Congratulations!

You have reached Maine's largest and most trafficked website. 

The official website of Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies

As of February 2021, we are now getting up to 7 MILLION visits per day!


This is the home page of

Maine author, artist, Voodoo Priestess, Gypsy Queen, and art car designer:

EelKat Wendy Christine Allen

Chances are high, I'm the most famous person, you'll ever meet.

I am EelKat

The REAL Gypsy Witch Stephen King based his Thinner Gypsy witch off of

and owner of the REAL World's Most Haunted car,

the car Stephen King based his fictional Christine off of,

My family, we are the Gypsies you see in The Thinner, the movie was filmed on my farm,

Founder of The Procter & Gamble Boycott

EelKat of Squidoo, EelKat Voice of the Voiceless.

EelKat Etiole's Friend.

We are the Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, Scarborough, Wells, Kennebunk, Sanford, Bangor, and Palmyra, Maine.


This website started in 1996 and is updated, edited, and added to daily. (NOTE do keep in mind since the April 10, 2015 murder of my children, this site is no longer updated daily, and very few new writing articles are added any more - since 2015 updates have been about weekly and usually are about the continued ongoing investigation into the murder of my family.) 

As of 2021 it has more than 10,000 pages. However, only around 2,000 pages are indexed by search engines (robot blockers and/or passwords, prevent the rest from being findable by Google/Bing/Yahoo/etc.). Around 8,000 pages can only be accessed by clicking on direct links to them. The links are found on other pages on this site. Confusing? Perhaps. But whenever one of those difficult to find 8,000 pages gets traffic, I know that you are VERY dedicated in reading what I wrote or doing some stalker level digging to reach those search engine inaccessible pages and I'd rather not waste my time writing stuff for uninterested parties, plus it's fascinating to see how deep some people are willing dig to find every last word I wrote.

I published my first novel in 1978. Since then I have published 138 novels, 30 non-fiction books, 2,000+ short stories, a dozen plays, a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck comics, a few dozen novellas, and 10,000+ non-fiction articles.

I am asexual and famous for 4 decades of writing 100% sexless stories, laced in extreme blood-gore-and-violence. But in spite of that, in recent years, most people classify me as an Erotica author. I don't know why, as I've never written Erotica or even any sex scenes, and as I am a nun, raised as such from the age of 3, I wouldn't even know how to write sex or Erotica. If you came here looking for sex, BDSM, Erotica, or Dominatrix's, please return to whomever sent you and tell them to burn in Hell where their immoral ass belongs. Also, do tell me their name so I can put a curse on them, so they will never enjoy sex ever again, to punish them for spreading lies about me and connecting my name to anything related to sex at all. I find sex vile and despicable and want no part of your perverse degradation near me.

All of my fiction works are about Alien Elf Wizards who live in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. All of my non-fiction works are about the history of Maine, it's Gypsy Clans, and most especially Old Orchard Beach the town which was settled and founded by my family.

Most of these pages answer reader questions on the worldbuilding, character creating, plotting, writing, editing, and publishing process of my work. 

Others are on the history of my people, The Gypsies of Maine, our culture, our lifestyle, our cars, and our religion.

The rest of the pages are daily updates of the terrorist attacks by Maine's White Supremacists on my non-white family, including updates of the FBI investigation of the April 10, 2015 murder of my children.



IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Due to the murder of my family and the resulting court cases, police investigations, and FBI investigations, I no longer have time to daily update this website.

Likewise ALL novel, short story, and article writing projects are on hiatus.

All book releases, book signings, workshops, and convention appearances for 2015 (and unknown amount of time after) are on hold while the murder investigation of my family is ongoing.

Writing advice for the worldbuilding, character creation, and other writing how to articles are on hold.

From now on, the bulk of updates here will be about the investigation into the murder of my family.

No, NOT just THIS author website, not JUST the EelKat pename, not just self published books: ALL 15 (fifteen) of my penames are on hiatus, that includes traditional published books as well, newspaper reporting jobs, editing jobs, my work for Harlequin Romance Novels, my work for Disney... EVERYTHING is on hiatus. Every publishing house I work for, every series I write, every penname I write under: they are ALL on hiatus, ALL projects.

There is NOTHING being published under ANY penname, not for ANY series, not for ANY publisher, from 2015 onward. EVERYTHING is on hold due to the murder of my family. I do not know when or even if, any of the projects will be restarted or finished.

Yes, BOTH the magazines I owned are indefinitely shut down because of this as well, with no plans for either magazine to return. The publishing house I own is also closed to submissions from now on, we will no longer be publishing anything. It is unlikely we will reopen the publishing house either.

All book signing tours, workshops, letures, PAX events, ComicCon events, carnival/festival/state fair/car show events are also canceled. I will not be attending ANY of them. If a venue still has my name listed as a guest/speaker/etc it is because they've not yet removed it. I WILL NOT be there, no matter where it is! 

EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, IS CANCELED!

The ONLY thing continuing from this point on, is THIS website, where I'll post updates on the murder investigation, hopefully every week, but, you know how it is when 10 members of your family are beheaded, it's kind of difficult to have a schedule for anything anymore.

April 10, 2015 my 12 children were kidnapped,
from 146 Portland Ave. Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

May 15, 2015, ten of their heads were nailed to my door.

Do you have information?

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the 
Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case.

If you have information about the April 10, 2015 murder of my family 
or any of the attacks on our home and relatives, give it to him not me.
He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 






How do you write the a series set in the United States when it's so diverse?

>>>AdviceHow do you write the a series set in the United States when it's so diverse? (self.writing)submitted 2 hours ago by Day_Dreaming_Scribe

>>>I'm trying to write a book series set in the US and was told it's not realistically diverse enough, as an American. How can I realistically protray the different types of people in the US without spending my life on research and actually pump books out? How can I imagine characters look, being named, talk, etc if we do it so differently? How do you tackle such a diverse setting for an ongoing series?

WHERE in America is it set? When you start looking at the ACTUAL census numbers, America is not nearly as diverse as the bulk of media and the internet would like you to think it is. 

There are actually only a few very large cities in America that could even remotely call themselves diverse, and there are still 23 states that have fewer than 20% of residents who are not white... twenty-three states in America are 80%+ white. That's almost half the country. Almost half the country is 80% white. I wouldn't call that very diverse? Would you?

Maine is the most white state in America, at a rate of 99.8% white, with the .02% being majority Native American, and there are fewer then ONE HUNDRED black people in THE ENTIRE STATE of Maine, right now in 2021.

Whoever told you ALL of America is diverse, has their head up their ass and only knows the mega giant cities like Chicago or New York City. Go outside of the mega giants and you'll find 2/3rd of mid sized to small towns in the country are more than 80% white.

Just read the census.gov website. It has all the exact numbers, and they are VERY eye opening as to how NOT diverse America really is. 

I'm one of the .02% non-white in the state of Maine by the way. Try being one of the less than three thousand total non-white residents in the whitest state in the country. Tell your friend to come up here to Maine and take a look around. And if they ain't white - tell them to be armed to the teeth and wearing a bullet proof vest - Maine also has the world's largest Ku Klux Klan group - with two hundred thousand active white hood wearing members who WILL and DO kill and behead every non-white they encounter - April 10, 2015 they killed 10 of my 12 children, ages 4 to 16, then nailed their heads to my front door.

Welcome to Maine.

It's NOT the way life should be.


Well, this just pissed me off, so I'm putting it on the front page...

If you want to answer this yourself.... just click the link Reddit provides in the embed code... there are already 700 outraged responders, so, you won't be alone in responding to this.


>>>I was told to avoid making my main character disabled unless "it matters to the plot, like how a protagonist is basically only gay if it's an LGBT-centered book". I want other thoughts on this...

>>>My friend and I were having a debate, see.

>>>Because my main character has epilepsy, something that happened after a traumatic brain injury from the past. Long story short, his older half-brother tried to kill him and his mother, was half-successful (killed mom) but failed to kill the MC. He survived, but with epilepsy.

>>>However, my friend said this, essentially:

>>>"You honestly shouldn't make your character disabled unless it matters to the plot in some way. Otherwise people will either read too much into it or think it matters when it doesn't. Kind of like how you shouldn't make your MC black or gay or whatever unless you're trying to make a political statement or if you're writing a specifically LGBT-centered book. It's all about markets and selling."

>>>Now, of course it's not verbatim since we were talking for a while, but they were basically saying not to write...anyone, I guess? Fucking, like, I guess I'm not supposed to write anyone because of "markets" or whatever. Because my book isn't about disability or epilepsy. It's actually a fantasy book. It just so happens that the MC is epileptic. But they said, because of that, that I shouldn't have an epileptic MC since people will "read too much into it" or whatever...?

>>>Does anyone even get what my friend is saying?

>>>I mean, fuck it, my MC is still gonna be epileptic and nobody can stop me, but my friend seemed dead-set determined to tell me I shouldn't since it's not, like, a central theme or thing or whatever. I don't know...

>>>Thoughts?


Thoughts?

I have so many thoughts.

Let's explore them.

I am not a plot device. Neither are the characters I write.

My MC Quaraun, walks with a cane because of a lame leg from an old injury (a sword through his hip), has joint pain that is probably arthritis, but arthritis hasn’t been discovered yet in his time period, is clearly Autistic even though Kanner’s syndrome won’t be discovered until the 1940s, has a learning disability that causes him to not be able to mentally process numbers/time/years/dates/math, he has obsessive-compulsive disorder; he has post-traumatic stress disorder, he sometimes can talk fine around close friends but struggles with selective mutism and extreme anxiety around strangers, punding is a serious problem and trips up his ability to do everyday things - like if he sees a field of flowers he is compelled to pick as many flowers as he can carry and he doesn’t know why he does it and it usually requires a friend to come along and pull him out of the flower field because he can’t stop on his own, he is prone to walk along railroad tracks with a bag picking up every grey rock that has a white quartz stripe in it and he has thousands of them around his house instead of having a front lawn due to do many years of doing this daily, and he is prone to walking for hours on end on ridge-top roof poles of the old abandoned factories and mill buildings along the Saco River for no reason at all other than he feels a desperate need to be close to the clouds.

Why?

Not a shred of that has anything to do with the plot.

So why do I write him that way?

Because:

   *   I walk with a cane due to a lame leg from an old injury (a two foot long foundation nail/iron rod through my hip when I was 4 years old

   *   I have joint pain that is probably arthritis

   *   I have Kanner’s syndrome aka ACTUAL Autism, which is NOT on the Autism Spectrum (because only illness that are NOT Autism are on the Autism Spectrum, which means the 861 illnesses that can be confused with but are not Autism) and is in no way, shape, or form related to Aspergers

   *   I have a learning disability that causes me to not be able to mentally process numbers/time/years/dates/math

   *   I have obsessive-compulsive disorder

   *   I have post-traumatic stress disorder

   *   I sometimes can talk fine around close friends but struggle with selective mutism and extreme anxiety around strangers 

   *   Punding is a serious problem for me and trips up my ability to do everyday things - like when I see a field of flowers I am compelled to pick as many flowers as I can carry and I don’t know why I do it and it usually requires a friend to come along and pull me out of the flower field because I can’t stop picking flowers on my own

   *   I am prone to walk along railroad tracks with a bag picking up every grey rock that has a white quartz stripe in it and I have thousands of them around my yard instead of having a front lawn due to doing this daily for over 50 years now - I started doing it as a toddler, the railroad tracks go right by my yard

   *   I am prone to walking for hours on end on ridge-top roof poles of the old abandoned factories and mill buildings along the Saco River for no reason at all other than I feel a desperate need to be close to the clouds

I am not a plot device; I didn’t choose to have those things. These things exist in my life, like it or not.

I write him having the same disabilities as me, because I know what it is like to live with these things. I know how these things trip up everyday activities, like how I can’t just open the door and walk outside because I get to the end of the driveway and go back to the door to check the lock, 10 or 20 times before I finally make it out of the driveway... and he does this door checking thing to, not because it has any meaning to the plot, but because, I don’t know how to write a person who does NOT do that. 

I am well aware that I'm known for having some pretty outlandish writing methods that most other writers wouldn't touch with a 9 foot pole. I'm also aware I come from a non-American/non-European background/culture that the average American doesn't even know exists, let alone could wrap their mind around trying to imagine it exists. And my writing methods are influenced by that. I came from a culture that wouldn't think twice about cutting out the tongue of a woman who talked back to her husband, and strictly forbids women from having jobs, punishment for stealing is a hand cut off, punishment of lying is tongue cut out, punishment for adultery or being gay is beheading, yet drug dealers run everything and child prostitution is the biggest income. Still right now in 2021. I grew up a female in that world, didn't go to school because I was a child in a cage on display for pedofile men. I was rescued from that life by an FBI raid that was there because my uncles had a stockpile of military guns. FBI found 140 of use little girls locked up in puppy mill style cages. They had no clue we were there or what the hell they had walked into.

April 10, 2015 my 12 children were kidnapped,from 146 Portland Ave. Old Orchard Beach, Maine. May 15, 2015, ten of their heads were nailed to my door.

I deleted my how to write monster porn series off KBoards a decade ago. 1,371 articles of 10k+ words each, posted in 2007 on the forum. 

November 14, 2013 I got beat up by 3 strangers with golf clubs, I was 8 months pregnant, they killed my baby and left me with a broken spine, broken hip, broken knees, and paralyzed for 5 months, in a wheelchair after that, crippled for the rest of my life.

From November 2013 to March 2015 I was offline because I was in the hospital, than I was busy relearning how to walk and pee, stuff like that, so I had no clue about the major troll attack that had happened on KB,where 73 authors, me included, had their accounts hacked by a major troll, who went around posting from their accounts, pretending to be them.

Turns out what happened, in April 2013, me and Hugh Howey had done an anthology, and the way it wa set, the first 100 applicants got accepted no matter what they wrote. We were trying to help new writers get published and thought, you know what, we are both big enough names that we can help 100 new writers get sales.

All 73 of the author's whose account got hacked were published in the anthology. The week I was attacked - 3 other members of the anthology eam were murdered, and 7 others were also hospitalized, 2 with injuries worse than mine.

FBI got involved, investigated the KB hacker, found out they were someone who didn't get in the anthology because they weren't fast enough to be the first 100 submissions, so they went nuts, tracking down the authors who were involved, attacking them offline, and hacking their KB forum accounts. I contacted KB had the owners lock down my account and asked them to delete the 1,371 articles on how to write Monster Porn.

I was in the hospital on the way into surgery, when I got the text message asking me if I knew what was going on with my forum account. I was in the ICU when I contacted the owners of the forum.

Hugh Howey's lawyers made him shut down all of his social network accounts, including the one he used to have here on this sub, he used to post here on this subreddit long before he wrote Wool, go back far enough on this sub you can find his old posts asking for help on how to write this sci-fi idea he had.

Since the KB incident I haven't tried to help a new writer again. I learned my lesson. Unfortunately I learned it AFTER I was in a wheelchair.

October 18m 2006, a bomb blew up my house.

EVERY ONE of these events, appears in a fictionalized version in the Quaraun series, happening to my main character.

Why? Because they happened to me in real life and I write what I know.

I believe it is a good practice to write about things you know about, either from first hand experience, from witnessing it happening to others, or from talking to people whom have experienced it.

I live in Maine, America's wildest, most unlawful state, where drug dealers and moonshiners control nearly every small town, and mountain men armed to the teeth with assault rifles sau who can drive in and out of which streets, where beheading gays or any one suspected of being gay is perfectly legal, where 2/3rds of the population have no electricity and have never heard of computers, phones, or the internet.

The average American can't even begin to wrap there minds around Maine culture and Maine lifestyle. But I've never set foot outside of my and 90% of my life, I've never even set foot outside of one town: Old Orchard Beach. So, EVERYTHING I write is based ENTIRLY off the real world events that happen in one town that is 7 miles long and 2 miles wide. ALL of the events listed above, they ALL happened at 142, 144, 146, and 148 Portland ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, 04064-1520.

And because of my never setting foot outside of this town, prior to 2015, I have no ability to relate to what most people call "mainstream America". And mainstream America is so bizarre and so unlike culture here in Old Orchard Beach, that it's like mainstream America is a total different planet, one I simply can not relate to.

This is WHY I find it so difficult to relate to a good 99.99% of EVERYTHING - every novel, of every genre, that is set in "contemporary America". I can not relate to YA featuring characters going to school, I can not relate to Romances featuring women falling in love with businessmen/billionaires/doctors... heck, I can't even relate to what mainstream Americans classify as middle-class income, because by my mind, you people who call yourselves poor are insanely wealthy.

I've never had a year, in my entire life where my income before taxes reached $5,000, in fact only 2 years has my income ever bee higher than $2,000 in a single year (2007 and 2016). Yet, I'm told, my yearly income is less than what most people pay each month for apartment rent. I'm told my yearly income is less than the average American spends each month for food. I'm told that my yearly income is seen as too low for the average American to survive a single week on.

Most years my income is less than $2,000 a year, and the Department of Human Services tells me that that is 674% BELOW the national federal poverty level. 

And yet, I'm seen by most Mainers as exorbitantly wealthy. My $2k a year is more than most Mainers will see in 10 years.

My husband is insanely over the top mega super wealthy, he earns $21,000 a year. Twenty One Thousand Dollars a year, and is one of the wealthiest men in Maine because of it. And yet, DHS says he's more than 70% below the national poverty level.

He makes $20k a year, how is possibly anything close to poverty level? Let all 70% below poverty level. I'm astounded that outside of Maine the rest of America sees us as poor or poverty level. I'm astounded that the rest of America, is so mega wealthy, that they think they are poor when they are earning insane amounts of money higher than $21k a year. That's crazy. Why would anyone need so much money? I can't even wrap my mind around it.

But that puts into perspective, why I find it so difficult to relate to the Americans of the lower 48. Their exorbitant luxury while complaining they are poor, is mind boggling. How can you have so much money and see yourself as poor?

But THIS is WHY I simply can not write contemporary novels featuring American characters.

I can't even begin to grasp the insane amounts of exorbitant luxuries Americans of the lower 48 live in, and never having been outside of Maine, I'm not even sure what their kind of mega wealth even looks like. 

I know there houses are huge, because the house the backhoe drover over was 16feet long by 9 feet wide and had 3 bedrooms, a kitchen, and a living room, - no bathroom, we have an outhouse, so we don't use a bucket like most Mainers do, bathrooms kind of aren't common up here - but, tourists who saw the house before the backhoe drove over it, they always said the entire house was smaller then their smallests guest bathroom, they said the entire house could fit 2 to 3 times inside of each of their bedrooms. I can't even begin to imaging houses as huge as tourists from the lower 48 describe.

This is WHY, I write what I know. Because I've no clue what life outside of Maine, or even life outside of Old Orchard Beach, is even like.

I can't even begin to relate to the lifestyles and cultures of the lower 48, which is also why I don't read books set there either, because, what most call contemporary settings, I call pure sci-fi that is just so bizarre I can't even image the lower 48 is really like that.

The average American, says they struggle with things like school homework, cell phone service, affording vaccinations for their children, ... I didn't even know those things existed until I was 31 years old.

The lower 48 of America was BIG time culture shock for me. The amount of freedom women and children have in America is, mind boggling, a thing I never could have imagined existed. Women allowed to get jobs, things like schools and doctors. It's why I attend so many colleges and so many college classes. I didn't get my GED and start going to random college classes at every college in the area until I was 47 years old. I can't take degree programs because I don't know math, or science, to this day, now even in 2021, I can't count or tell time or read calendars, or use phones or money or credit cards and other number stuff, because I don't know how to do numbers. That's why I sign up to take a class here and a class there at so many colleges. You can take the individual classes without taking the math and science prerequisites that way. 

Writing for me, is the ultimate freedom. But, I came from a culture where freedom to write was not an option, because I was born female. And it's why I took up writing. The freedom to read and not be beaten to death for it. That's a great blessing. The freedom to write. Americans don't know how good they have it or how great their freedom to read and write is. I suppose you could say my reading so much and my writing so much is a direct side effect of my culture, and me making up for lost time by reading and writing at a higher rate than average. That's why my writing advice skews to the controversial "just write" good or bad, just write, write what you know, write what you love, don't ask for permission to right white or black or male or female, just bask in your freedom to write.

My method of writing, reflects heavily the culture I was raised in. As does my method of publishing, predominantly vanity press aka local print shops print up thousands of copies and I sell my novels out of the trunk of my car at local beaches to the tourists. I sold 57 million copies that way. Each of my novels averages around 20k sales the first summer of it's release, all to tourists on the beach, sales from my car. And yet,every time any one on this sub mentions vanity press, they get bombarded with answers telling them to not do it. Why? Avoid the scams yes, but, there's nothing wrong with vanity publishing if you are willing to get off your ass and get the face to face local sales. It works for me, that's why I advice it.

Never having gone to school, I know nothing about "traditional writing methods". The concept of themes, character arcs, 3 act structure, beats, tropes, hero journey, were all things I never heard of before joining this subreddit and yet before joining this subreddit I had already published 138 novels, some of them bestsellers. Some of them for big publishers: including Harlequin and Disney. I've sold more books than most people on this sub combined. And yet, I can offer no advice on silly useless things like themes, character arcs, 3 act structure, beats, tropes, hero journey, because I'm not even sure what they are.

Like I said, I am well aware that I'm known for having some pretty outlandish writing and publishing methods, but I do practice what I preach and works for me. Will it work for others? Who knows? Maybe? Maybe not. Thing is we are all different. We all have different backgrounds, came from different places, took different paths to reach publishing success. 

I am of the belief that there is no truly bad advice, so long as that advice is working for someone.

Heck, half the advice I see preached online, leaves me asking "How the hell is that even possible?" because I just can't wrap my mind around their methods, but you know what, that doesn't matter, because if that advice works for them, well more power to them. And who knows, just because it's bad advice for me, doesn't mean it can't be good advice for someone else. We are all different, have different goals, use different writing methods, have different ways of editing, and that's perfectly fine. 

The world would be a dull dreary place if everyone were exactly the same as everyone else, just as books would be a dull dreary read if every writer did exactly the same thing.

This is who I am and how I live, and these are things I have no control over. There is no plot reason why these are physical and mental illnesses I live with. They simply are physical and mental illnesses that I live with. And guess what... I’ve had ALL of these things, even arthritis and PTSD since I was 8 years old, and because I’ve lived with these things for 40+ years, these things are NORMAL for me. This is my normal. I wouldn’t know what it was like to live without these things, because these are things I was either born with or got before the age of 8, so have had them all since early childhood.

Because this is MY NORMAL, I wouldn’t even begin to know how to write a “mainstream normal” character who did not have these disabilities.

And thus, my MC is written with ALL of these things in his daily life, because they are HIS NORMAL, simply because they are MY NORMAL.

There is no plot reason behind my MC having any of these disabilities. This is just who he is.

My disabilities are not plot devices.

On top of that, he’s a Persian Mountain Jew Gypsy living in America, and THAT has nothing to do with the plot either. Why is he a Persian Mountain Jew Gypsy living in America? Because I am a Persian Mountain Jew Gypsy living in America. I know my own culture, traditions, religions, holidays, taboos, etc, so I just naturally write him having the same. I know the stereotypes and stigmas of being a Gypsy and I know how Americans treat you until they find out you are Jewish or Gypsy and suddenly they change how they treat you completely, and so I have characters treat him the same way Americans treat me, and that has nothing to do with the plot either, it’s just me writing him being treated the same way I am treated.

My race and cultures are not plot devices.

Plus, he is bi-polygamous, has 5 wives and 2 male spouses. Why? Because, you guessed it; I was born and raised in a bi-polygamous culture. My grandfather has 2 wives, my mother has 2 husbands, my uncle with the most wives has 15, my aunt with the most husbands has 9. His being bi-poly has nothing to do with the plot, the story is not LGBTQA+ centred. I write him that way, simply because that is NORMAL lifestyle for my people, and thus it’s just default normal for me to write him that way.

I could write him as a straight, white, able-bodied American, but, why should I? I am not myself a straight, white, able-bodied American and I wouldn’t know the first thing about writing a straight, white, able-bodied American. If I tried to write him as a straight, white, able-bodied American I’d end up filling it with cookie-cutter stereotypes, because what do I know about about white people, straight people, or American culture?

Would it be a plot device if my characters were healthy? White? American? Straight? Monogamy? No! So why would it be a plot device for me to write my characters exactly as I am?

Your friend is wrong on so many levels of wrong.

>>>I mean, fuck it, my MC is still gonna be epileptic and nobody can stop me, but my friend seemed dead-set determined to tell me I shouldn’t since it’s not, like, a central theme or thing or whatever. I don’t know...

You can and SHOULD write your character however you want. Your friend is wrong.

Yes, there are people who write disabilities ONLY because they want to be PC/inclusive/SJW/political, and if that’s how they want to write, well, let them write that way. Them writing that way, shouldn’t stop you from having your characters your way.

But here’s the thing, my MC’s disabilities, culture, and lifestyle may not be what the story is about and may not have any bearings on the plot, BUT, these things DO affect his life, how he acts, how he talks, things he can do, things he can’t do, things he wants to do and get frustrated over not being able to do.

For example, because of my leg/hip/spine injury, I can not climb stairs on my own. I require a person to hold me steady, while I use my cane and hold the railing, and going up just 2 or 3 steps on someone’s front porch can take a half hour or more - this is something that takes an able-person under 30 seconds to do. This is a enormous issue and causes me to be unable to visit certain relatives/friends because they live on the 2nd/3rd+ floor and have no elevator, so I can’t get up to their apartment, and when my family goes to visit their family, I have to wait in the car in the driveway, alone, by myself, while everyone else is in the apartment eating dinner and watching tv. This is the reality of having a crippled leg/hip/spine. An injury that I received when 3 strangers attacked me in the parking lot, while I was 8 months pregnant. I’m legally blind and almost deaf, so I neither heard no saw the attackers coming, while I was putting groceries in the back seat of my car. They killed my baby, broke my spine, broke my hip, broke my leg, and left me for dead. I was 5 months paralyzed, 18 months learning to walk again, and that happened November 14, 2013, 8 years ago, and I’m still not fully recovered. I’m out of the wheelchair (something doctors did not think was possible) and I’m slowly improving, but the reality is, my spinal column is crushed and can’t be operated on, so I’ll never run again, I’ll never walk normal again, and stairs my possibly never be something I can do again either.

Well, I wrote my MC to have this exact same injury. So, he can’t maneuver stairs, he needs help with even small steps. He can’t sit in chairs because his hip don’t bend normal, so he has to sit on pillows on the floor, he likewise can’t sleep in a bed because he can’t climb up into a bed, so he sleeps on blankets on the floor. Why? 

Because...

   *   I can’t maneuver stairs

   *   I need help with even small steps

   *   I can’t sit in chairs because my hip don’t bend normal, so I have to sit on pillows on the floor

   *   I likewise can’t sleep in a bed because I can’t climb up into a bed, so I sleep on blankets on the floor

You see him trying to pour tea, a task that takes 2 hands, while also trying to stand up leaning heavily on his cane. You see him sitting on pillows on the floor, having no chairs and no bed in his apartment, and you see him grabbing hold of the table to hoist himself up, while steadying himself with the cane. You see him hiking across the country, but not getting very far each day, because of the agony of his leg, causing him to have to stop and rest constantly, every half hour or so.

The story is about him struggling with the survivor guilt, after his lover commits suicide and so his disability has nothing to do with the plot at all, BUT, the disability is a major part of his life, causing many struggles that cause him to not be able to do basic “normal” things like climbing stairs, sitting in chairs, or sleeping in beds, and so this shows up in several scenes. You SEE him being disabled, but there is never a point where his disability is ever talked about, not in narration and not in dialogue. You just see his struggle to do normal things and you see the cane there in passing. 

Well, think about this now... writing a character with a lame leg and a cane is a pretty common disability for abled authors to write, but when was the last time you saw a character with a lame leg and a cane ACTUALLY STRUGGLE with ANYTHING? They don’t. Why? Because the author looks at a lame leg as just a thing you drag, and treats the cane lie a decoration. They NEVER write the character struggling on stairs, not able to sit at a table because they can’t bend the leg to sit in the chair, sleeping on the floor because they can’t lift their leg up high enough to climb up into a bed. They don’t write those things, because they have no clue that someone with a cane does those things, because they never had to live with a lame leg.

That’s where the problem of undisabled writing disabled comes in. Granted, they mean well and are trying to be inclusive and all, but they have never lived with that kind of disability so they have no clue how big of an impact something like that has on your life. 

It’s one thing I liked about the Witcher books. Several characters have lame legs, broken legs, use a cane or crutch, and the way it’s written, well, you KNOW the author had a broken leg at some point in his life, because you see the characters actually struggling to walk up hills or get on a horse. Take Avallac’h for instance. We are told he rides his horse all the time, even in the house, because he has a lame leg and can’t walk on his own. The one time we see him walking, he has 3 women gathered around him, holding him and helping him walk. Or Dijkstra, we see him, unable to run, dragging his leg, his leg in a brace. The descriptions are amazingly accurate and the struggles are very realistic. To the point, it’s obvious the author had to deal with a crippled leg at some point in his life.

It’s not a political statement to be disabled, but it is something that causes simple everyday tasks to be a challenge, so it will change how you write scenes of your character walking, eating, sleeping, talking, etc, depending on the disability. The story doesn’t have to be able the disability to have a disabled character. 

I am disabled, but you know what? It doesn’t define my life. I go hiking every day with my dog. I have to stop and rest along the trail because of my leg, and I can’t keep up with other hikers or joggers on the trail, but you know what? I’m out of that damned wheelchair against all odds and to the shock of all the doctors, who in 2013, said I would never walk again. I was paralyzed. I was in a wheelchair, and I said fuck this, I’m going to walk again. And it took me years to do it, but I’m back on my feet again. I refuse to let being disabled stop me from living my life. I refuse to let being disabled hold me back. I refuse to let being disabled define who I am. I got out of that fucking wheelchair and progressed to a walker, and then I progressed to a cane, and 2 years ago, I couldn’t walk to the end of my driveway, and now today, I walk over a mile a day with my dog, and I’m not stopping until I can do 2 miles a day, then 3 miles a day... before 2013, I took 13 mile hikes every day, and it took me 8 years to get back up to 1 mile a day, but if it takes me another 8 years to get up to 13 miles a day again, well, then I’m just going to spend 8 years doing that. I refuse to let a disability control my life and tell me what I can or can not do. 

And so I hate it when characters in fiction are disabled for plot device and SJWism, because I know immediately no actually disabled person wrote that. Token disabled characters, read as though all of us disabled people want sympathy, but we don’t. Heck, I turned down the government disability check and kept right on working. I hate the whole pity-party thing abled people do, “ooooh poooor cripple”. You know what? I’m not a dog. Stop patting me on the head before I plow you down with my wheelchair and beat you over the head with my cane. I don’t want your fucking pity or sympathy, and I hate it when abled people write disabled characters to pull in the pity points with readers. 

And you know something I really hate a lot? I hate when Fantasy novels throw in a disabled character and somehow magic cures them. Or a blind character, who can “see” through magic thought waves, or a deaf character who “hears” with telepathy, or a crippled character who suddenly magic happens and now she can fly and not need her legs. I HATE those types of characters/plots in Fantasy. It feels like the author was trying to erase disabled people from existence so they wouldn’t have to be bothered with looking at them. It’s very: “Oh disabled people bother me, I want to pretend they don’t exist, so let me wave a magic wand and POOF the disability transforms into a superpower”. I just hate that type of story and that type of use of disabled characters. That’s just erasure of disabilities. It’s like the author is saying they want to eradicate disabled people.

In the end,  say, yes, write your character with whatever disability you want/need them to have, but, don’t do it to pull the pity card, be PC/woke/SJW, or because you feel the need to be diverse. Do it because it’s right for the character.

Disabled people need to be in books more, yes, but they also need to not see their disability be used as a marketing tool or mocked or turned into the primary plot. Let disabled characters have a story that is something NOT related to their disability, and let the disability just be a thing in the background that they have to work around.

Just like how my relearning to walk is not a political statement, so too should writers be allowed to write a disabled character without that character being a political statement either. I am not a plot device. Neither are the characters I write, I just write my characters with the same lifestyle I life, because that’s MY default normal.

I have more thoughts, but you get the idea so I'll stop now.


Writing without experience about sensitive topics: a response

April 10, 2015, the Ku Klux Klan arrived at my farm. A group of 74 men and women chanted "too gay for the family friendly town" while 14 police officer held me, my husband, my mother, and one of my brothers on the ground with guns to our heads, while the group used cinder block bricks and hand held band saws to beat to death 10 of my 12 children... the youngest aged 4, the oldest aged 16, and then nailed their heads to the door of my motorhome. The 7th anniversary of that day is less then 6 months away. I've not been able to function on any level of normalcy since. **[It is why I repainted my car to say this on it](www.eelkat.com/images/volvo-art-car-eelkat-Dazzling-Razzbury-3-april-10-2015-never-foreget-fbi3.png)** and also  **[to say this on it](https://www.eelkat.com/images/volvo-art-car-eelkat-Dazzling-Razzbury-3-april-10-2015-never-foreget-fbi5.png)** Should you have information about the murder of my children, yes, what is painted on my car is the contact info of the FBI agente in charge of the case. Give the info to him, not me.

But the worst part of trying to recover, is my neighbours, who stand on the porch yelling, teasing, bullying, throwing rocks, pushing me on the ice... why? They are angry that the FBI contact info is on my car. They are angry that my refuse to forget that 10 of my 12 children had their heads nailed to the door because I'n "too gay for the family friendly town". No, I refuse to forget my family was murdered and I will not stop asking people to help find the killers, until the murders are in prison where they belong.

But the shitty ass neighbors who do the bullying and harassment... they think mocking the murder of my children is all fun and games. They make "headless" memes and post them on my FaceBook, and you've seen the threads they've bombards this very subReddit with for the past 3 weeks. Yeah., they think starting threads like that is funny. And those threads they started here on this sub, aren't half as disgusting and gory as the photoshopped images they post on my Twitter.

THAT is something writers never include about surviving trauma, in their novels. They never include the after the murder shit people in your town put you through.

I can't even shop at the local WalMart without groups of women, slamming shopping carts into me and chanting "nah, nah, nah, nah! that gay family was kiiiiiiled! woo hoo! God's gonna get ya all!"

As a side effect of the attack that killed my children... I was paralyzed 5 months, my spine broken, to this day, I still can't walk properly, when I can even get out of bed at all, which isn't often... that because of them beating me with metal golf clubs.... oh... and I was 8 months pregnant at the time, they killed my unborn baby too.

And THAT is what the people who lie in my very apartment building... 3 different families in 3 different units, think is funny to make jokes and memes about... one of them a women with small children herself! How would she feel if what happened to my children happened to her children? Would she STILL be standing on my front porch every day yelling shit at my car?

No, you NEVER see authors include how the neighbours spend years attacking the survivors viciously, endlessly, daily. Why? Because those authors never survived traumatic events and they have no clue how damned fast the entire town will turn on the remaining members of the family.

You see scenes of neighbours helping, bringing over meals, helping with the funeral... that is NOT what REAL neighbours do. Neighbors here poured acid on the windshield of my car and slashed my tires, and stuff mini smoke bombs in the tailpipe - and that's just the one woman who stand on the porch of my building yell "woo hoo we got your car out of commision this time didn't we!" she lives here in my apartment and she does those things daily... because she's pissed that the FBI contact number is painted on my car, she's ppissed that I won't rest until the people who beheaded my children are found. 

When you get hurt - no one cares, and worse, the whole fucking town gangs up on you to make every day after the murder a living hell. That's the reality of how your town will treat you after an event like this... but when was the last time you saw an author write a town ACTUALLY responding to the murder of a local family?

Authors don't write trauma correctly, nor do they write how your town treats you after your family is murdered.

Most authors, they are no different then the shit head jackasses who live in this apartment building... they just romatizes and mock murder like it was all fun and games.

Well, YOU spend 3 weeks collecting up the dozens of chopped up body parts of YOUR 10 children scattered all over you front lawn, than you tell me how much you want to glamourise trama.


How do I include representation of a group I'm not part of?


>>>How do I include representation of a group I'm not part of? (self.writing)submitted 5 hours ago by AGhoulsParadise

>>>I have this dream of my main character being Mexican-American, but as a white person, I feel weird trying to write that. I don't want to end up offending anyone either. Should I just give up on this?

The first thing I want to say is do you mean Mexican as in the Native American tribe, known as the Mexican tribe? Or do you mean Mexican as someone born in the country of Mexico? Because it makes a difference.

The Mexico People are a specific First Peoples/Native American group, and your best way to research would be the reach out directly to one of the reservation, and ask to interview the tribe chief, abd get his permission to visit the reservation and see how they live, talk to the people themselves.

If you mean on the other hand, any random person from Mexico the country, and you still mean "stereotypical red skinned black haired sombrero wearing Mexican" well, now you need to narrow things down a bit. There are over 800 different Native American/First People's Tribes living in Mexico, and ONLY the one mentioned above is called Mexican. The others are called things like Navaho, Hopi, Cherokee, Blackfoot, Aztec, Mayan, etc and you need to figure out which tribe specifically you want to research, because 800+ different tribes means 800+ different cultures, each with it's own traditions, religions, etc. And most of them are not exclusive to Mexico. Most have reservation in America and Canada in addition to in Mexico, which means chances are high there is a reservation of your chosen "Mexican tribe" in driving distance from you.

Beyond that you have the "invader colonization groups" who descended from the 1400s conquistadors and 1700s missionaries. These are largely white Catholics or Spanish, and they are usually called Hispanic not Mexican, and Mexican is reserved for the Native American First Peoples who are native to Mexico, while Hispanic is reserved for the whites and browns who descended from Europe, and live in the country of Mexico, but usually have no actual Native Mexican blood/DNA. And there are at least 300 different Hispanic groups/races/cultures/ethnicities live in Mexico, so you'd need to narrow down which one specifically you are thinking of, when you think "Mexican".

>>>How do I include representation of a group I'm not part of?

It can be difficult.

For example, I'm not white, and most of my characters are the same race/culture/ethnicity as me, and the stories heavily involve specific to our culture themes, so culture plays a huge role in the plot, thus it becomes important to the plot for there to be lots and lots and lots of info about the culture within the story.

Well, sometimes my characters will need to encounter white Americans, and I end up staring blankly at the screen, wondering what the hell to write. I don't know the first thing about white Americans or their culture. And every time I talk to a white American in person, I am just left with the weird sense of feeling like I just talked to an alien from another planet. Their culture is just so freaking bizarre.

Like for example, when white Americans talk about family, they usually mean some unmarried couple living in sin together with 2 or 3 illegitimate and unbaptised children, the woman lists off the fathers of each child, each having a different father, none of them being children of the man she lives with. She'll list off that her mother was divorced 5+ times, and all her siblings are halfs, steps, and illegitimates as well, than state she refuses t marry because she doesn't want to end up like her mother. And then there's the way they dress! Good god! Short hair, pants, make-up, t-shirts. Dressed like a total whore, it's no wonder all her children have different fathers, none of whom she's ever been married to. I don't understand whores at all, I means at least prostitutes get paid for what they do. And American tv is nothing but vile perversion of half naked people running around. And it's difficult to find an American who doesn't smoke or drink. Half the things American women do, if women in my culture did them, they'd be executed. But the filth and perversion is so mainstream common place in white America that not a one of them bats an eye at it or sees anything wrong with the corruption and obscenity they live in and commit multiple times daily. I struggle to write white Americans, because I struggle to find a single shred of anything that is NOT a vile, twisted, corrupted sin in their everyday lives. But their extreme misuse of the word family, is what makes writing them so incredibly difficult, even more so then their endless heaping piles of sin they call every day living.

What white Americans call a family, we would call sad ostracised outcasts forced to live outside the family. There is NOTHING even remotely "family" in a white American "family". Not one thing on any level at all, whatsoever. And this makes understanding their culture extremely difficult, due to their alarming bizarre miss-use of the word family, and calling things that are not families, family. Families typically have 200 or more people in them. It's not one couple and 2 or 3 children, and the fact that white Americans don't even know that is alarming on so many levels.

And because I have such a hard time understand the white Americans and the incredibly outlandish, crazy things they do, I struggle not only to write them, but I struggle to even see the white Americans as being even remotely Human, due to how incredibly uncivilized, barbaric, primal, and sex crazed they are. They act largely like packs of wild animals who do nothing but run from one bar room and whore house to the next, having sex with everything that moves. They are vicious and violent, always out on the streets punching and fighting. Shoot outs happen daily. Police are constantly having to break up wild fights of disrespectful women beating the crap out of their not-husbands, and confiscate their guns. Their inability to raise children is so monumentally horrific that they have to have dozens of social workers and child protective server workers in every single town.

Tourists from the lower 48 say that white Americans outside of Maine are not nearly as violent as the ones here in Maine, and they also say outside of Maine it's rare to see guns, not every one has 4 or 5 guns strapped to them the way white Americans in Maine do. I don't know, as the only white americans I've ever met are the ones here in Maine. I have no clue if the white Americans of the lower 48 are different or not.

My characters are all just like me. Like me, my characters are Gypsies, who live in large family units of 200 people or more, living in forests and sleeping in tents. Their women wear veils and modesty and are often mistaken for Muslim though they are actually Persian Pagans who married Hebrew Jews and adopted Catholic Christianity after being cast out by both their religions of birth, and were later ostracized by Catholic leaders, accused of being witches, so they converted to Voodoo Folk Catholicism. I write them this way, because this is what happened to my people in real life. 

I wear hijab and veils and scarfs and caftan and kimono so, so do my characters. We utilize herbs and plants and berries and flowers and tree bark into everything we do, so, so to do my characters. We live in an area that has snow almost year round, blizzards and ice storms are a constant danger as they collapse our tents and tear the canvas and tarp, breaking the tent poles, we don't use beds, instead we line our tent with pillows and fur pelts, and hang think tapestries on the walls inside, to keep out the cold, and thus, so to do my characters in my novels.

We own, run, and operate every single last carnival, festival, freak show, side show, circus, amusement park, water park, campground, and theme park in Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts and the rest of New England, as well as Quebec, Nova Scotia, and the rest of Maritime Canada. And we DO travel in massive caravans of 100, 200, 300, 400, or more cars, trucks, vardo (horse drawn covered wagons), RVs, motorhomes, and 18 wheelers, when driving to and from carnival/festival/state fair locations to set up the tents and rides and food concessions, and arcades, and craft booths. And we DO paint our cars and trucks with big bright colored murals. I'm an art car builder, I've built and painted many of the cars for our people. I myself lived in a Vardo for over 20 years and currently have a pink Class C motorhome. And so, characters in my novels do the same, because I write what I know and I write my characters the same lifestyle as me and my family live.

Most of our families are MASSIVE. Polygamy is the norm. Women have as many husbands as men do wives. Most men have 5 or more wives and each wife usually has 8 to 23 children that she herself gave birth to. One man with 12 wives and a 100+ children is NOT unusual. Are age differences are vast. Most men won't marry before they are 30 to 40 years old, while most women are already married BEFORE they reach the age of 14. I was married when I was 12 to a man who was 37. My mother was married at 16 to a man who was 31. My mother has 2 husbands. Her father has 2 wives. My aunt with the most husbands, married her 9th husband in 2020. My uncle with the most wives has 5 wives. Each woman has given birth to an average of 8 children, while the women with the most has given birth to 23 children though only 15 of them reached adulthood. There are more than 400 people in my immediate family and yes we all live together in a series of tents, each about 8 feet, clumped together on our farm. And thus characters in my novels are the same. 

LGBTQA+ are not taboo or shunned or banned or looked down upon in our culture, and transvestite and eunuchs are also very common. It is not uncommon for a man to have both wives and male partners. This lead to why my main character is a transvestite and a eunuch who has 2 male lovers, and 5 wives. Again, I write what I know and this is the culture I grew up in, so I write it as it is.

When we go shopping, we all go together. Stores in Maine are known to close to the public because when our family walks into WalMart just our one group puts the store at over capacity for local fire laws. It's not unusual to see 400 or more of us arrive in the store all together, all at once. Because of how we dress, MOST of WalMart's shoppers and employees think we are Amish and say as much. "Who are those people?" a customer asks a worker "Oh that's the Amish, they come in here to buy supplies once a month." While toddlers cry out: "Mommy look! witches!" and American teens run up to us asking: "Is there are Harry Potter convention around? OMG I love your wizard CosPlays!" And so my novels feature these sorts of interacts with white Americans and black Americans alike, both of whom are quick to act violent and racist towards our people in the real world so I write them doing so in the novel world as well.

We keep to ourselves living on huge isolated farms surrounded by miles of forest, so Americans rarely see us in public and don't know what to make of us when we are out and about. We do not send our children to public school, largely because we shun the immoral, perverted, sex crazed lifestyle promoted in high schools. Nudity in locker rooms, handing out condoms in school, and teaching sex education, we want no part of. Sex, adultery, fornication, music, dancing, smoking, drinking, are all sins that send you to hell and we will not subject our children to them. Which is also why we are horrified by the belly dancing, music and sluts dancing around campfire stereotype that people make of us in movies and TV. And thus characters in my novels are likewise quick to detest America's immoral perverse society and avoid contact with Americans at all costs.

It is completely impossible for me to write white Americans in any form of being good or decent or moral people, because in all the thousands of white Americans I've met here in Maine, I've yet to meet any who was even remotely good, moral, or civilized.

But I also know only one small demographic of white American culture: the white Americans of the Greater Portland are of York and Cumberland country Maine. And I'm rather inclined to believe the tourists of the lower 48 when they say they are just as shocked and horrified by the white American culture of this region as we Gypsies are. So many white American tourists tell me they only visit Maine every summer, just specifically so they can point and laugh at how outlandish and bizarr the white people up here are. Which makes me think the white Americans of Maine may in fact be the extreme minority of white american culture. And this in turn makes me even more hesitant to write white American characters, because if it's true that white Americans in the bulk of America, do not act like the white Americans here in Maine, ell, than that means, I would probably end up writing some huge stereotypes into white American culture.

I didn't grow up in American culture, white or otherwise, and I was 31 years old (and had already published a few dozen novels) the first time I met an American. And because of this, I never grew up with the whole "default all characters to white" sort of mentality that you see a lot of writers and readers today talking about.  

So, for me, as a PoC who didn't grow up in American culture, I personally find incredibly difficult to write Americans of any race, white, black, or other. And so whenever I see these posts where writer are asking "how do I write __ race?" I'm always left thinking: "I have no clue, how to write a PoC in America, because I have no clue how to write an American at all."

For me, every novel & short story I've ever the MC was my own race/culture, even when the characters were non-humans in Fantasy. So, even the Elves and Faeries and Dwarves were my own race and culture... which has resulted in a lot of my readers saying they especially love my Elves, due to how "alien" they are. Readers will email me and tell me how they hope to write a novel someday and they were inspired by how none-human my Elves were, how unlike Tolkien they were, and how their culture was just so unlike anything even remotely human.... "almost as if the book was written by an actual Elf who had never encountered Humans before" said one mail.. and they wanted to know how I designed their culture to be so weird and bizarre and alien-like. And every time I read them say these things, I'm not sure if I should be proud my Elves are "unique" and unlike standard Fantasy Elves or horrified and offended that they think my culture that I grew up in was equated to: "feeling like the author had never encountered a human before".

Although, the feeling is mutual. Just as you see us as "feeling like the author had never encountered a human before", well, you might want to take a look in the mirror, because you white Americans don't even seem remotely Human to us either. We struggle to even classify white Americans as being part of the Human race, they are just so bizarre and not like anything that classifies as Human, in any other country of the world.

Here's the thing:

I was 31 years old before I knew about the existence of things like electricity, plumping, showers, toilets, phones, radios, computers, or tv. And most of my people still have no clue what these are. If I wrote ebooks and put my books up for sale on Amazon, I wouldn't have sold the 57million copies I sold, because my primary audience, don't even know what the internet is, let alone know what Amazon oer ebooks are. And, today, I'm constantly meet with Americans who are utterly amazed that such societies exist not only in the world, but in the still unexplored forests of Maine and Alaska in America and Quebec ad the Yukon in Canada.

Most do not live in houses, rather they live in vast herds of cars, truck, RVs, horse drawn wagons, and move across America and Canada in huge caravans of 400 to 2,000 people in a single family unit. At the front of the caravan are the cars and truck, the RVs and vardos in the middle, the goats, sheep, chickens, often piled high in the backs of horse drawn wagons or walking freerange in the road along side the children who herd them, and the big 18wheelers carrying the roller coasters, ferries wheels, food concessions, the kiddie rides, the big tents, the little tents.

When we need to stop to sleep, we find a field, or a beach, or a WalMart parking lot, big enough to park 200+ cars, trucks, and RVs, sleep in them or under them, or in pup tents or under lean-tos made of tarps. I lived for 9 years under a 8x6 tarp, sleeping under a coat made out of a lot of fur pelts. Americans would stop sometimes to "pity" poor little "homeless" me, but, they failed to understand, I never saw myself as homeless or pitiful like they did. I struggle to understand why Americans cage themselves away in house, separate from nature. I find them and their house dwelling lifestyle, just as bizarre as they find me in my tarp dwelling sleeping under trees lifestyle.

In my culture, punishment for crimes include: hands being cut off for stealing, tongue being cut out for lying, castration for adultery, beheading for homosexuality. Yes, right now in 2021, those are still punishments in my culture. And it tends to shock Americans when they find out that cultures like tis still exist in today's world. And yes, in America. Not some 3rd world country.

In my culture, women wear long robes, silk, kimonos, saree wraps, scarves, shawls, veils, hijab. No woman speaks without a man's permission, and that permission is not easy to get. Most men have 5 or more wives. Most wives will give birth to 20 or more children each wife though rarely more than 8 will live to adulthood. A man will have 100+ children across all his wives. Most women will be married before they reach the age of 14 (I was 12) to a man 30+ years older than them (mine is 37 years older than me). Most will already have given birth to 4 or more children by the time she reached 18. Women are not allowed to cut their hair, wear makeup, sing, dance, play music, make eye contact with a man, go outside in public without a man, drive a car, get a job.

We weave our own fabric, sew our own clothes, embroider everything, make everything we need. We own farms and grow our own food, migrating to the farms in planting and harvesting seasons. We live off the land. 

At 8 years old, I had 3 jobs: a stunt driver for a 3-wheel bike, that I drove in high speed circles until I was driving so fast I could drive it straight up the side of a building; a clown; and a sideshow freak, in a cage. As a teenage I started reading cards and training birds for shows. I've sold so many of my books, 57 million copies, without ever once selling them online or as ebooks, because I sell them from booths at the carnivals.

Schools and doctors are strictly forbidden. To quote the leaders of many Clans: "the government is run by Satan, the government runs the school, schools are controlled by Satan, we do as Jesus did and shake the dust of their sin from our feet". That is why, no Gypsy parent will send their children to school, or a doctor, or a hospital. It's why no Gypsy has a birth certificate or a social security number, and why their are tens of thousands of Gypsies in America, whom the government has no paper trail, no record that they even exist.

I am the Clan's "Queen", what most Americans would call "a Gypsy witch" or "a Gypsy fortune teller". It means I am a Voodoo Priestess, Queen is a religious title similar to Mother Superior in the Catholic Church, and has nothing to do with royalty or monarchy as many Americans often mistake. Likewise a Gypsy "King" is a high priest, a Voodoo Houngan or Borkar, not royalty or monarchy. Most mainstream Catholics refer to us Voodoo as Folk Catholics and not "real" Catholics, but Voodoo being a branch of the Catholic church is why were wear silk and lace veils over our heads. Unlike most females, I have privileges uncommon in our culture, I can read and write, s it is nessacarily for the spiritual leader to be able to read the Bible. And what Americans refer to as "a Gypsy Curse" is nothing more than us quote the words of Moses in the Bible's Leviticus, or the words of Daniel from the Book of Daniel.

We get featured in movies like The Thinner and Christine. If you see a movie billing themselves as having been filmed on a "real Gypsy farm" or "featuring real live Gypsies", that's my farm and my clan. One our farms is in Bangor, Maine, Stephen King is our neighbour for a large part of many years, that's why he features us in so many of his books and movies, and he researches his fictional Gypsies by stopping by to visit us, his neighbours. It's WHY Stephen King gets his Gypsies "right" while so few other authors do.

Such is the life of us Carnival Gypsies of Maine.

We are technically Americans, but we exist in America, so far outside the mainstream, se deep in a counter culture, that few Americans can even comprehend how we live.

It is as reviewers of my books put it: like we were not Human at all and had never had contact with humans, because we are so vastly different from anything most Americans will ever meet.

As a writer, a novelist, I write what I know. This is WHY, my MCs are always Gypsies, always live in Maine or Quebec, always "homeless vagabonds", always traveling on foot for many miles each day, always wearing bright colored, heavily embroidered silks, always are bisexual and polygamous, and always living, well, the exact same culture I grew up in. My characters are also always quick to see white Americans are bizarre, odd, weird, strange, and describe them as such. Because I see white Americans are bizarre, odd, weird, strange, and don't know how to describe them as anything otherwise.

This is why I tend to avoid writing white character, because I know, it's impossible for me to write them any different than from how my personal interactions with them has proven that they are and they really do enjoy being seen as the gods of their own insane asylums when it comes to novels or movies, that's why they default seeing every good person as white and every bad person as coloured.

One reader pointed out that my novels feature MASSIVE descriptions of every white character, entire paragraphs describing their strange mash potato skin, their bizarre blue eyes, their alien blond hair. Many readers have said it stood out because they had never seen an author describe white character the way most authors describe black characters before... they end their emails asking: "you're not white are you? I can tell by how you write your white characters, you don't have a clue what white culture is like." No. I don't. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around white American culture, and that's why I don't write it, and white characters are only ever described by Gypsy characters, as bizarre, because that's how we see them.

I write what I know. I wish more writers did. There are precious few non-American, non-European characters in fiction, even in Fantasy that is written by authors of colour, most Elves are nothing more than white Americans or white Europeans with pointed ears.

I say all of this because you said this:

>>>I have this dream of my main character being Mexican-American

This is odd phraseology, and I'm not sure if you are aware of the meaning of how you phrased this. 

It's possible English is not your first language and so you are unaware of the, uhm, meaning, this particular phrasing has... well, it's not good, let's just say that.

It's possible you come from a culture where "dream" has some sort of small, regional to you street slang meaning, that no one outside of your hometown knows about, and so again, you are unaware of the very derogatory phrase you have used.

Or, it is possibly you are just a racist bigot and are fully aware of exactly what you just said here.

However, I'm thinking, based on your post history, you may simply be very young, "a typical horny teen" who has found himself "an exotic race to fetishize" and just wants to write porn "about exotic dark women", and so you are too young and too horny too stop and think about how you word things before you post them.

Do read this again and see if you can understand what the problem is with it.

>>>**I have this dream** of my main character being Mexican-American, but as a white person, I feel weird trying to write that. I don't want to end up offending anyone either. Should I just give up on this?

I don't think you intended to be offensive, but to say that you are a white man who **DREAMS** anything about a coloured woman, does send out a lot of stalker creepy, white dude fantasizing about raping coloured slave girl vibes.

All that said...

>>>How do I include representation of a group I'm not part of?

If you have read everything in this post, you will have learned some very important things which will answer that question.

And the answer is: you can't, and no amount of research will ever change that.

I have research the white Americans, spent the last 30 odd years living with white Americans, interacting with white Americans, and yet, it doesn't matter that I've 30 years of walking among them, because I'm not white, I wear a hijab, and so white Americans blew up my house with a bomb October 18, 2006, white Americans cut my car in half May 15, 2010, white Americans drove a backhoe my house August 8, 2913, white Americans beat me with metal golf clubs November 14, 2013 while I was 8 months pregnant - they killed my baby and left me paralyzed with a broken spine in a wheelchair, and on April 10, 2015 74 white Americans wearing long white robes and pointy white hoods, carrying 8 foot tall burning crosses arrived in my yard.  April 10, 2015, the Ku Klux Klan arrived at my farm. A group of 74 men and women chanted "too gay for the family friendly town" while 14 police officer held me, my husband, my mother, and one of my brothers on the ground with guns to our heads, while the group used cinder block bricks and hand held band saws to beat to death 10 of my 12 children... the youngest aged 4, the oldest aged 16, and then nailed their heads to the door of my motorhome. THIS is the white America I know, the white America I've experienced, and even with 30 years of living and walking among them, I can't see the white Americans are anything other then the vile inhuman demonic creatures they are. There is nothing remotely human about them. They seek only to kill, steal, and destroy, they rape everything that moves and slaughter everything else. They love their guns more than they love their children. They are savage, violent, sex crazed barbarians with nothing but blood lust and evil in their hearts. And until such a day that a white American treats me or my family in such a way that proves otherwise, it is completely impossible for me to write a white American as anything other then the evil, savage barbarians they really are.

>>>How do I include representation of a group I'm not part of?

If you have to ask that question, than you can't.

You see Mexicans through a lens that does not allow you to see them as Humans, otherwise you wouldn't ask this question to begin with.

If you saw them as being Human like yourself, you would have no need to ask this question.

By asking this question you have openly admitted that Mexicans are a culture so different from your own, that you are struggling to see them as part of the Human race and this and only this is ever the reason why someone needs to ask "I'm x, how do I write about Y?"

If you saw them as fellow humans, fellow mankind, equals to yourself, then you would not even think to ask this question because you would simply write them as fellow Human beings.

But the fact remains, you see Mexicans in exactly the same light we Gypsies see the white Americans of the Greater Portland area of Maine: as inhuman savages, incapable of morals or decency, and that is why you are struggling to write them.


Here's some of the threads, that might help you find your answers:

Hope that helps!


>>>Do you talk about your in-progress writing to friends/family?

>>>I feel like as soon as I open my mouth that I'm writing, my motivation suddenly vanishes. Or maybe I tell people because I feel my motivation slipping. When I keep things to myself, I am a little more productive, but then I also feel isolated. But I also don't like how much I like people thinking of me as a writer, and then in reality I'm spending more time procrastinating... I dunno. What do you do?

No. Never. None of them are interested in writing in general, and nothing I write is anything that'd interest them topic/genre-wise even if they were interested in writing. Most of them are not even aware I've ever published anything.

One relative found one of my books once, one about 2 men who were close friends who COULD possibly, maybe be seen as gay if you had enough of an overactive imagination to see them that way (they were not written as gay and one even has a wife and 4 children, so I never thought of them as gay) and she read it and immediately saw the book as "pro-gay propaganda" (as she termed it), with-in a week I had her mega-church congregation (a group of 2k+ people, led by an extremist minister) in my driveway waving "god hates fags" signs. 

Since 1978 MC Quaraun has had 5 wives and 37 named children, plus an uncounted number of illegitimate children by prostitutes. The series also lists him as having 300+ concubines. At no point in 40 years of writing the series was Quaraun ever even hinted at being even remotely gay.

Secondary MC Gremlin/GhoulSpawn was a Mormon missionary, who spent more time fucking prostitutes that converting members. Again, since 1978, he was always shown with LOTS of women, described as a philanderer, and throughout most of the series was seen in a lover's triangle with Phoozen's wife Dulcee. At no point in 40 years of writing the series was Gremlin/GhoulSpawn ever even hinted at being even remotely gay.

Triadry MC King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, was a Lich Lord who was described as a serial rapist, noted for having made the law requiring all brides in his kingdoms, to lose their virginity to him, before being allowed to be married. At no point in 40 years of writing the series was BoomFuzzy ever even hinted at being even remotely gay.

These are the 3 MCs of the series, all 3 of them verocious womanisers. That this church saw them as gay was laughable at best.It was painfully obvious they had never read the books and were clueless as to how opposite of gay these 3 men were.

Before 2014 I had never heard the words "gay", "fag", or "homosexual" nor did I have any idea the concept of men being able to have sex with other men.

So, from 1978 until 2014, it never crossed my mind that these 3 men, could possibly have relationships with each other.

2014 was when these church crazies showed up in Old Orchard Beach with the "god hates fags" signs.

The novelized editions of Screaming Unicorn and BoomFuzzy were both released the same day, 2 months after the "god hates fags" looney tunes arrived at my house. These 2 volumes, were the first time a sexual relationship was hinted at between Quaraun and BoomFuzzy. The following year Lich Lord's Lover was novelized and showed all 3 of them together as atrio of lovers to each other.

I now have 2,000+ previously NOT gay short stories to rewrite and novelize as gay editions, thanks to these gay haters seeing gay characters in places where no gay characters had existed.

My response was, in the next novel to rewrite the character dynamics so they WERE gay and, just continue the series from that point with them as a gay couple. I figured if local psycho-crazed-gay-haters were going to see them as gay anyways, then they might as well be. 

I have nothing against gay couples, so I have no issues altering the series to make the MC bisexual, has his wife and his male friend too. I think it actually made the series better. 

Weird, I never thought to do that until these people showed up. Now I find I actually prefer writing gay and bisexual characters and I went and changed most all of my characters to be gay or bi. Not just in the Quaraun series either, but every series I write.

She went around to the rest of my relatives, and also to all my followers on FB, Twitter, etc, to "warn" them all that I was what she called "a demon possessed gay supporter who practiced witchcraft and summoned alien-demon familiars to turn everyone around me gay"... uhm... oooookaaaay... conspiracy theories out the wazoo there. o.0 I didn't realize how crazy she was until my FB profile started being flooded with weird rambling posts about "gay demons" possessing people because I was supposedly sending them (demons) out after people. DAMN!

I'm left wonder wtf is she high on? And wtf do they preach in that mega-church she goes to (because it wasn't just her posting those things on my FB wall - there were 2k members all from that church posting that wild demon possessing shit on my FB wall with her! I was like, damn! Who are these people are how do they believe the shit they are saying?

Sadly I am left shaking my head and wondering how common are people who believe that kind of crazy-ass demon possession stuff?

Outside of her and her church group, none of my other relatives cared. They were all like "So what? It's just fiction, it's not real. Why are you getting so bent out of shape over it? Who cares if the characters are gay or not, Chill out!"

I don't know why she's gone nuts like this. I mean, she's not even a relative I had seen or heard from in 30+ years, until her and her church group showed up. I think, her and her church have got an axe to grind (I've seen them posting similar stuff on the FB walls of other relatives of other congregation members, so it's not just me they do it too). I think, they have this weird axe to grind, and thought, "this one's an author, we can get out 15 minutes of fame" except, I'm not a famous enough author for them to get that 15 minutes of fame, so all they are doing is making fools of themselves in front of my readers who follow me on FB. LOL.

I keep blocking them, but they keep creating new FB accounts. It's rather annoying.

I never told anyone I knew I was a writer or that I was published. I work retail locally (WalMart) so, as far as any of them knew I was just a shelf stocker at the store. I never had any reason to tell them about my writing career, and with what this one and her nutty church friends are doing on my social media (currently doing, as in, they were just bombarding me with posts earlier tonight) I guess I'm glad I never told any of them.


>>>What are some cool concepts you have for tieflings / demons in your story? (Aside from fantasy racism)

>>>I want to include them in my story and write some lore for them, but I don't want to just make their whole struggle revolve around racism bc 1.) I've noticed a lot of racism metaphors tend to be very clunky and have bad implications, and 2.) I know it's not really my story to tell. So I wanna figure out what else I could potentially do!

**TL;DR:** Give your characters interesting lives and you'll have so many interesting things to write about that you won't have time to think about writing race struggles

In my series, Demons exist, but are very rare on Earth. They come from another galaxy, from a planet named Hell, which ancient Humans misunderstood what solar systems and planets were, so lead to the "Christian Hell" stories. So, basically Demons are an alien race of Humanoids from a plant that has a high rate of volcanic activity over most of the planet (meaning the planet is most "lakes of fire" same way the Earth is mostly water). 

In my series, Demons are "furries" meaning Satyrs (goat-men), Fauns (deer-men), Centaurs (horse-men), Ursiug (sheep-men), Kitsune (fox-men), InuGami (dog-men), various Japanese Oni types, Native American Trickers, bird-men of Egypt and South America, snake-people, etc. Basically any species from any folklore, from any real world culture, that is part animals and part Human, gets counted as a Demon, in my series.

According the my series, how the Demons got on Earth, is there are portals that show up at random throughout the universe, and sometimes they open up near a person, and the person falls through it and ends up trapped on another planet elsewhere in the universe. This explains real-world events like the disappearance of the lost city of Roanoke. (My series is set in the real world, and treats folklore creatures like Faeries and Centaurs as real, but incredibly rare - due to them being not native to our Earth, and often only one of their kind exists on the Earth due to how they arrived here by accidently falling through a portal.)

The series I write started in 1978 (when the first novel was published) and in the 43 years since than has had 138 novels and more than 2,000 short stories published, most of them revolving around 1 character and his 2 friends, who are the 3 MCs of the series. One of the 3 MCs is a Demon, specifically he is an Ursiug aka a Sheep-Man. From the waist down he is a Cotswold Sheep with 15" long golden fleece. He has a long tail and cloven hooves that he paints with gold nail polish. The hair on his head grows as long sheep's wool as well, instead of hair. He also has large ram's horns, but he keeps them sawed off/filed down and hidden under his hair. He wears long floor sweeping caftan and trench coats to hide his legs and hooves. 

Racism has never been a thing I dealt with in any of his stories. 

The reason he hides what he is from most people is addressed in a few stories, but it has nothing to do with "racism" in a "normal" sense of racism. Rather at one point in his life, he was captured by a hunter, who sold him to an animal test lab, where the scientists did experiments on him. They set out to vivisecting him, cutting samples off him, and attempted to slice up his brain, while he was still alive. All because he was not Human and they wanted to find out what he was. Prior to this, he had not hidden his lack of Humanity. After escaping from them, he became terrified of Humans knowing he wasn't Human, fearful of scientists coming after him again. So in a way, it's kind-of racism, but not what most people think of when they think racism. But, also, that's only mentioned in 3, maybe 4 stories, out of 138 novels and more than 2,000 short stories.

The series is VERY Literary Slice of Life Vinette Fantasy. Meaning the entire series is kind of like a soap opera, where the characters never grow or change or progress, instead you just watch them go about their mundane everyday lives. (Most people who read Fantasy, find the series tedious and boring, as it has no action, no advention, no wars, no kingdoms, no battles, no factions, no sex scenes, nothing you'd expect in typical "Epic High Fantasy".  

In 43 years of writing/publishing the series, and across 138 novels and 2,000+ short stories, my Demons have never yet, once had to deal with racism.

What DO the characters deal with? 

* Everyday normal struggles of every day normal people. 

* The Demon lives in a small Human fishing village, where he works at a dinner. 

* He drives a 1974 AMC Gremlin. 

* He lives in a house on the beach, next door to a lobsterman and across the street from a laundromat. 

* A few of his closest friends are aware he is a Demon, and as he is prone to visit prostitutes they know what he is, but he hides what he is and tries to pass as Human, around most people. 

* He overall lives a normal life, like a normal Human. He's an LDS/Mormon and celebrates Mormon/Christian holidays. 

* He has OCD on servere levels (based off the fact I have it is real life and I just write him suffering the issues I suffer from), so one story, focused entirely on him putting Christmas lights on his house - yep, that was the entire plot - him struggling to put up Christmas lights, when hooves don't do well on either ladders or icy roofs - while his OCD was kicking in and making him take the lights down and put them up all over again several times. The whole story - over 50,000 words beginning to end - was him putting up Christmas lights. 

* He's in love with someone who's already married (Quaraun, the male Elf who is married to the male Faerie named BoomFuzzy) and struggles with wanting to break the couple up vs not wanting to damage the married couple's relationship. The lover's triangle is front and center in many stories. 

* Other struggles he's had to deal with: his 50 year old daily driver car constantly breaks down and is a major plot issue in many stories. 

* He likes playing DnD and has game nights with his friends. 

* He's addicted to video games, especially ResEvil series, and he loves action movies. 

* His job at the dinner has him dealing with shitty fussy people who complain about their coffee and donuts. 

* Living on the beach, he has to rebuild his house every time a hurricane comes through, and entire novels are devoted to being just one day of the aftermath of a hurricane hitting his town. 

Like I said, The Quaraun series is VERY Slice of Life and focuses on the little every day details of the every day lives of the world's three biggest, baddest, most evil supervillains, who, spend most of their days living like everyone else in the world.

Just because your character is a Demon, doesn't mean they have to be bombarded with 24/7 non-stop racism struggles. Treat your characters like real people. Give them jobs, families, lovers, houses, cars, mental illnesses, neighbours, and every day struggles.

If you see a Demon (or any other race, Elf, Dwarf, black Human, etc) and think automatically the ONLY thing you can write about is racism and race riots and race wars and race issues, than, that says a lot of about your characters being flat, one-dimensional, lacking personality, stereotyped, and just being cardboard cookie-cutters. It means you need to work more on fleshing out your character as an individual person. Demon = racism, Elf = racism, black/PoC = racism, is just one-dimensional thinking. Round out their lives. Flesh out their careers. Make them a part of their community. Give them loved ones that they care about. Give them hobbies and things they like to do. Once you flesh out your characters and start seeing them as "real people" you'll see how silly it is to think Demon = racism, Elf = racism, black/PoC = racism.

Side note: I'm a PoC, and I've dealt with racism in real life. The Ku Klux Klan (the guys with white pointy hoods) blew up my house with a bomb in 2006 and left a giant white cross in my yard (I never took it down - it's still there - I put Christmas lights on it), they returned in 2015 and murdered 10 of my 12 children. I know racism better than most people. And you know what? Having lived through that kind of thing, I really DO NOT LIKE reading about racism in novels, especially, when it's written by authors who never experienced REAL and ACTUAL violent racists first hand. You can tell the difference between someone bullied in school and calling that racism vs someone who has had family members beaten to death on their front lawn by actual hate groups. You can tell FAST, when the only thing an author knows is name calling, and thinks name calling counts as racism. Try witnessing your children being beaten to death on your front lawn by a group of 74 grown men, 14 of which were holding you down with guns to your head, before telling me you qualify to write about racism.

As a PoC who has had actual family members murdered by actual Ku Klux Klan, I'm sick to death of racism being the ONLY thing anyone thinks they can write about, for EVERY non-white character. Demons, Elves, Dwarves, black Humans, Middle Eastern Humans... it's like no one can write any of those things without racism. And you know what that says to me? It says the authors have a REALLY DIFFICULT TIME identifying those characters as PEOPLE and instead think of them as aliens - even the Human races.

So, with that in mind, I would advice, to just trea your characters like you would treat your grandmother. You wouldn't throw your grammy into horrible race struggle situations would you? So why throw your characters into them?

Sure, I get that people who've been through racism, want to write through it as therapy or to tell others what happened. That's fine, because they are writing from experience.

But, when you're talking about Fantasy genre, you really don't need to put real world race struggles into your stories, no matter what race the character is. PoC Humans, Demons, Elves, whatever. To default to ___ race MUST = a story about racism, just says the author doesn't have any respect for that race at all and sees that race as inferior, so is incapable of showing that race as anything other than marginalized.

If you want to write a story about Demons, that's fine, but, don't feel you HAVE to write race struggles just because ten million other authors wrote race struggles. Dare to be different. Dare to treat your Demon characters with respect. Don't marginalize them. Treat them like people. Think of your Demon characters as though they were your best friends and write them with the same respect your show to your best friends. That's the way to write races that are shoved into race struggles, while not writing them about race struggles. Give your characters interesting lives and you'll have so many interesting things to write about that you won't have time to think about writing race struggles.


>>>Which author, do you reckon, would be the best choice, if you wish to adopt their writing style?

>>>When we begin writing, we tend to take inspiration from one or more of established personalities in the trade, and maybe adopt their writing style.

>>>Who is it for you?

One of my readers, last year, said to me: "I feel like I'm reading Edgar Allan Poe when I read your horror shorts, you don't read him by chance?" I answered back with "Damn, that's one hell of a complement because he's my favorite author, and I read 2 or 3 of his short stories every day, at the start of my writing sessions, to get in the mood for writing."

Because I write mostly short stories (publishing 1 to 3 a week most weeks/50 to 150 per year most years, for the past 43 years - with my most productive years seen 2 to 3 a day (900+ in one year) more than 10,000 total published across 15 series & 15 pennames), I also read mostly short stories, and I have specific authors that are my repeat go to authors to read before writing.

Before each writing session (which is 8 to 12 hours a day - this is a full time job for me, not something I do in between work) I have a 3 to 4 hour reading sessions. I read new stuff sometimes, but more often I am re-reading the same few hundred stories over and over again, year after year. 

For example: I read the Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe EVERY NIGHT before going to bed. EVERY NIGHT, for decades. It's my favorite story. And for the past 9 years, I've also read Chapter 5 of The Lady of the Lake by Andrzej Sapkowski, because it's my favorite chapter of any book ever written.

In the morning before I start writing, I read stuff by Ernest Hemingway, Hills Like White Elephants being one I read 3 or 4 times every month. I re-read The Christmas Carol 3 or 4 times a year. Every year I will have read every short story by Edgar Allan Poe, Ernest Hemingway. H.G. wells, H.P.Lovcraft, Robert E. Howard, Shirley Jackson, Keith Laumer, Rumiko Takahashi, and several novels by Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, The Bronte sisters, George Elliott, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Mercedes Lackey, Anna McCaffery, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Jules Verne, Robert Louis Stevenson, and dozens of others. I have most every copy of Alfred Hitchcock magazine which I was a subscriber to back in the 70s/80s/90s, and most all of the Alfred Hitchcock Presents paperbacks and hardcover short story collections (published in the 40s/50s/60s/70s) and I have most every year of "Best American Short Stories of *year*" anthologies [**THESE** if you don't know the series](https://www.amazon.com/Best-American-Short-Stories-2006/dp/061854352X). I also have all the Mammoth Books (Mammoth Book of Horror, Mammoth Book of Vampire Romance, Mammoth Book of Ghost stories, etc - there are 100+ volumes in the series and still going - they put out a few new ones each year, all short story collections from current/new writers who entered the Mammoth series writing contests). My office has a library in it, which has 10 bookcases that are each 12 feet tall and 21 feet long and hold 30,000 books, the bulk of them being short story collections/anthologies or classic literature novels from the 1800s to 1950s, mixed in with a lot of 70s and 80s Epic Fantasy. I have read all of them and re-read them constantly.

I start off each writing session, by having a 3 to 4 hour reading session, reading from those books, and as it's largely short stories I end up reading a dozen or more stories beach day before I start writing. I never let a day pass without my morning reading session. If I don't read in the morning, than I cancel my writing sessions/livestreams for the day. Play video games on those livestream days instead. I won't write on a day I've not read first. Absolutely refuse to. My mind just isn't in the right place for writing pulp fiction short stories, if I've not spent a few hours reading that morning before writing.

I read to match what I'm in the mood to write. If I'm writing for my Weird Horror penname than I'll read Poe or Lovecraft or Ambroise Beise. If I'm writing for my Erotica penname, I'll read Virginia Wade's Cum 4 Bigfoot. If I'm writing for my pirate adventure pulp penname, I'll read Stevenson or Verne. If I'm writing for my Sci-Fi penname I read Keith Laumer or James Blish.

I don't believe in adopting another's writing style, rather I believe adopting an atmosphere (spooky/creepy vs steamy/exotic vs space cowboys) to fit the story being written, and so I will read for 3 or 4 hours, that particular type of atmosphere, to get me in the mood for writing that type of atmosphere. After that my day is divided into 3 livestreams' of 3 to 4 hours each with an hour break in between, where I write all my short stories and novels live.

My writing style is pretty unique to me, that can be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. It's unique enough that you know it's me without knowing the author name, so my regular readers tend to pick up fast on "hey is that penname you, it sounds like you" no matter which penname it is. But readers who don't like "author voice" to stand out as so very clearly "I know it's this author no matter what they write" don't like it. 

I believe we should each develop our own unique author voice and hone in on a writing style that is our own, rather than trying to emulate others. But I also believe we should be daily reading the authors we love the most so that we can be inspired by them.


>>>haircutting fetish community gets no love.

Yes. The hair fetish community is rabidly devoted to their writers once they find one who can write to their fetish whims too.

Hair fetish community in general doesn't have enough writers... hair brushing, long hair, dreadlocks, stroking fingers through hair... uhm... I write the hair fetish stuff... but I don't write sex scenes at all, just hair touching and hair brushing scenes, and damn, yes, that community is starved for people to write it. Soon as word got out that I was writing a serial of short stories about a man with Rapunzel hair, who liked to let others brush his hair, I suddenly got bombarded with requests to write more and more and more, just 1,000 word scenes that were nothing but long haired men brushing each other's hair... I had no clue that fetish existed until someone in the community, read one of my stories and passed it onto others and they started emailing me and asking me if I could just write more of it, all were saying it was a fetish that just did not have enough people writing it.

It's how I got a reputation of being an Erotica author, even though I've never written a sex scene. Erotica about fetishes doesn't require sex scenes, and if you can write to a particular fetish (I have 48" long dreadlocs in real life, so I was simply writing my character going through the process of washing and shampooing his long hair, writing out what I do to my own hair, and because I'm someone with knee length hair in real life I knew how to write mega long hair care scenes... I had no intension of them being seen as fetish or Erotica scenes, but once I found out there were readers who wanted that, and because I knew the ins and outs of taking care of mega long hair, I just started writing a lot of it and gained a mini-cult following in that community because of it.)

Thing is a lot of people think Erotica = sex, so jump in and write endless sex scenes, then wonder why it don't sell good, but it's because the market is so oversaturated. Then they hear they should write a fetish so they just repeat all the stuff they read in 50 Shades, without actually knowing what real fetish communities are like.

Cake Farting Fetish for example - literally women sitting on a cake and farting in the frosting - is probably one of the weirdest and least written fetishes I've ever encountered in Erotica... adult diaper fetish, again not often seen... both fetishes do not involve sex scenes. I once encountered an author who wrote a shoe fetish... not a foot fetish, but a shoe fetish.... his stories were straight up nothing but a shoe salesmen describing shoes to women shoppers. That's all it was, and damn, it was some of the best Erotica I ever read, and all it was was a shoe salesmen talking about high heeled shoes.

The sexless fetish Erotica, is way over looked, because everyone thinks Erotica = sex scenes, and they don't realize, Erotica = exciting the reader and in fetish writing, exciting the reader rarely involves sex scenes.

>>>How do you find these clients?

I never set out to write Erotica or fetishes, so I didn't set out to look for clients either.

I'm just someone with really long hair in real life, and wrote a character with hair like mine, and wrote a scene of him brushing and shampooing his hair, and then his lover brushing his hair, and next thing I knew I was getting lots of requests to write more hair brushing/shampooing scenes of other men brushing and shampooing his hair. I was like, yeah, I can do that.

Apparently I have a hair brushing fetish and didn't know it, because damn do I love writing hair brushing scenes, LOL!

But yeah, it was just a case of I happened to write a scene that was seen as being a fetish scene and people started contacting me out of the blue asking for more like that. And I was like, okay, yeah, I don't mind writing more scenes like that one.

>>>I've written erotica in the past, and I'm looking to make some money at the moment. How do you find these clients?

So, I would suggest, write some fetish scenes that you are interested in. Maybe look up what fetishes are out there - you might be surprised to learn you have a fetish and didn't realize you did, and would be able to write that type of stuff better than other writers. Publish it in places those people hang out. (Me I have a personal website that I was publishing those scenes on, and readers found me through that. Basically it was a author blog where I posted quick 1k word scenes every week.) And if you are interested in commissions, I'd suggest create a Fivver account, and link it to the bottom of your blog posts, so people can contact you through Fivver.

I did Fivver for a while several years ago. It was pretty easy. It was maybe 10 years since I've used Fivver though, so I'm not sure how they do commissions these days - if it's still the same or if things have change.

After Fivver I switched to Etsy, did commision work that way. I also used a site called Keen for commissions but that was back around 2007, before Amazon invented Kindle, and think Keen doesn't do that sort of thing anymore, I'm not sure, I've not been on the site in a long time.


>>>Does anybody on this sub write pieces that aren’t novels?

>>>I don’t see much interest in short stories or essays/letters on here. Do the folks in this sub eschew those forms, or do those writers simply stay quiet/not sub here?

>>>As a related aside, are there other subs that are focused towards those formats?

>>>To edit/elaborate: I write primarily short stories that are generally speculative fiction, but not full-on genre fiction. I also write humorous essays, satire, and standup comedy jokes. I’m aware of the standup comedy subs.

I write primarily short stories (have published more than 2,000 of them since 1978) but I rarely talk about it here on this sub, as most questions are asking about novels. That's also why I only post 2 or 3 or 4 comments a month on this sub as well. Short stories being my primary thing, while novels are just a side gig to pay the bills, means I'm less invested in talking about novel writing. I'd probably be commenting on a regular basis/more often/daily if there were more short story related questions here. 

I write Literary Slice of Life Vinette Fantasy. Meaning the entire series (138 novels and 2,000+ short stories published in the last 43 years - all about 2 MC and his 2 lovers - each story/novel a stand-alone, so none continue or are parts of any other - it's just lots and lots of stories about one character) is kind of like a soap opera, where the characters never grow or change or progress, instead you just watch them go about their mundane everyday lives. (Most people who read Fantasy, find the series tedious and boring, as it has no action, no adventure, no wars, no kingdoms, no battles, no factions, no sex scenes, nothing you'd expect in typical "Epic High Fantasy". ) 

I like to treat my characters like real people. Not kings or warriors or hero journey quests. Just common village folks with jobs, families, lovers, houses, cars, mental illnesses, neighbours, and every day struggles. It's just 3 characters living everyday normal struggles of every day normal people. They live in a small Human fishing village, where one works at a dinner and drives a 1974 AMC Gremlin. They live in a lighthouse on the beach, next door to a lobsterman and across the street from a laundromat.  They overall live a normal life, like a normal Human, even though they are not Humans. There are entire chapters that are just the 3 of them sitting on the side of a river fishing, or shopping at the market, that sort of thing. Just everyday things they do as they live their everyday lives. I know it's not a lot of people cup of tea, because it's kind of the far opposite of what most people think of when they think "Fantasy", but, I like it so I write it. 

What that means is, not only did I make my writing career hard on myself by focusing primarily on short stories (which are hard to make a livable income off of) but I went one step further and write a genre that the average person thinks is dull and boring, so, the genre itself is a poor seller besides. So, double whammy on myself by taking both a difficult to earn an income from genre and write it in a difficult to make income from format. LOL!

Throughout the 70s to 90s I was publishing via various little/literary magazines, but than most of the print mags (thousands of them) went bankrupt around 1994, and the few that remained went from paying $100 or more a story to $10 or less a story. And seeing how my series is set in my hometown, thus most all of my regular readers live within a 14 mile radius of me, I switched to vanity press publishing. Started just having local print shops print up the stories as paperbacks, and then every weekend I go to various carnivals, festivals, conventions, libraries, big and small - from small nursing home Christmas fairs to things like PAX and Comic Con... set up a booth, sell my paperbacks face to face directly to my readers. I have an RV/motorhome so it's easy for me to just be on the road all year long going from one event to the next selling my print copies from booths are fairs. 

Well, because of that vanity press/direct offline sales method, none of my books are available online, on Amazon, or as eBooks, but every volume sells around 27k copies each summer convention season, and my biggest seller sold 57million copies. All without ebooks or Amazon or online sales. Just vanity press printing up lots of paperbacks and busking them at conventions. Weird thing is, the average person has never heard of me or my books, yet I sell more books than the average Amazon bestsellers, due to my selling to tourists and festival goingers. 

Why? People are just more likely to buy a book if they can get it signed, just so they can tell their friends: "I met this author, bought their book directly from them, look they signed it!" 

I'm a big advocate of selling books offline as paperback editions, because, I've seen both sides of the book selling industry, and face to face sales of paperbacks, WAY outsells online ebooks or trade magazines. No one buys the literary mags, that at best sell 100 copies per issue and no one buys shorts on Amazon. But, let them pick up  paperback copy at a carnival, and they sell like hotcakes.

But, I rarely talk about my selling methods on this sub, as every time I do, I get bombarded with a LOT of hate from people who say "print is dead!" (Uhm... no... 73% of all books sold are paperbacks bought from WalMart. Amazon ebook sales only contribute 3% of the total book sales in the world. And 64% of Amazon's book sales are non-fiction paperbacks. Neither novels off Amazon nor ebooks get the huge sales figures people around this sub would like you to think they get.)

Plus, the general consensus on this sub is that Vanity Press is ALWAYS 100% a scam. No. In fact, it's RARELY a scam. The problem is most authors go into Vanity Press, thinking it's traditional publishing, and don't realize that a FedEx truck is going to show up with 10,000 copies of their book and THEY the author have to go door-to-door to bookstores and sell the book themselves. Vanity Press ONLY prints copies of the book and delivers them to your house. They don't do anything else. They don't market, they don't edit, they don't design book covers. Vanity Press is just a print shop printing up paperbacks - tens of thousands of them - and delivering them to your front door.

Unfortunately, there ARE scam publishing houses out there, and people who have no clue what Vanity Press is, slap the name "vanity press" on those scam publishing houses, which has lead to the urban myth of Vanity press being scams.

Well, because everyone is too busy nay-saying to listen to logic and reason, it's just impossible to talk about vanity press - ACTUAL and REAL - vanity press on this sub or anywhere else for that matter. People are to busy saying you can't do what I do, and they sit around waiting for sales and wondering why they are getting none, meanwhile I'm off to the next event, and selling more books each week, than the average commenter on this sub, will ever sell in their lifetime. But hey, who am I to waste my time telling them how to sell books - I'm just the person who actually sells books, so what would I know, right?

10 years ago, you found me daily active on this sub, but, the general consensus the past couple of years is that, if a poster is actually selling books, they need to be bombarded with snark and downvotes, so, I just stopped answering questions about how to write and sell short stories. There aren't enough people who actually want to know how to do it and way too many people who just want to post sarcasm and snark.

There are a few subs for short story writers, but none are very active (they get 2 or 3 questions a month at best), the active short story subs are the ones where people spam post their short stories for others to read, but I've no interest in those subs, as I prefer to read paperbacks, due to I'm blind in one eye so reading on a screen is difficult for me. I guess, most people just want to post their work and not many actually want to talk about the process of writing short stories. *shrug*

In any case, short stories are my primary form of writing, but since the mass bankruptcy of some 20,000 literary print magazines in 1994, it's now next to impossible to make a full time income from short stories alone, so, novels became a thing I focused on as an income, with the bulk of the 138 novels in my series, being the previously published 2,000+ short stories, rewritten and 5 to 10 short stories merged together to create novelized editions of the original short story series.

So in the end, short stories are what I primarily write, and I also write novels to pay the bills.

I used to write novels, published 4+ a year for years. But my children were murdered April 10, 2015 and I've not written a novel since. It's been 7 years since the last novel I wrote/published. Just can't seem to get motivated to get back into it.


>>>Advice for picking a publisher?

>>>I'm thinking of going with Dorrance Publishing because they've been around for a while. Does anyone have any experience with them that might make them seem like a bad option? Or do you think they're a good option to go with? I like that they have an aggressive advertising campaign which I think would be good for a first time author like myself


Dorrance Publishing is NOT a publishing house.  You might want to first start out by learning the difference between a Publishing House and a Vanity Press. Vanity Press is fin IF, you know ahead of time what you are getting into, but sadly MOST writers have no clue ahead of time what a Vanity Press is and get their asses scammed to hell and back.

ProTip: If they don't have  bestselling paperback editions at your local WalMart book department, then they probably are NOT a publishing house. Even the smallest Idie-Press Publishing Houses try to get the paperback editions in WalMart. Look at the books at grocery check-out aisles - THOSE are put out by REAL publishing houses.

Remember too: any time your book id eBook only, there is a 99.99% chance you'll sell fewer than 100 copies of it total in the first 10 years.

MOST of America's readers (a full 72% of America's book buyers) are elderly people (65 to 90) who DO NOT OWN COMPUTERS and NEVER HEARD OF eBooks, and think Amazon is a river no matter how much you try to explain the concept of websites to them. These people are not online and are not reading ebooks. If you want to market to the biggest readers in the country, you want a publishing house that can get your books in grocery store checkouts.

Vanity press is NEVER going to get you in WalMart unless you the author personally buy 10,000+ copies of your own book and ship them to WalMart's warehouse yourself (which you CAN do - see WalMart's website for info).

This is why publishing houses focus on in-store posters and flyers, full page ads in newspapers, and don't do online marketing at all. Offline marketing trumps online marketing as does offline sales to brick and mortar shops, which still way itself ebook sales on Amazon. 73% of all books sold ae paperbacks bought from WalMart, so, getting into WalMart is the best road to big sales, wither trade pubbed or self-pubbed.

If your book is ebook only is NEVER has an aggressive advertising campaign because fewer than 10% of the world's total population, even has access to the internet. Of the 7billion people in the world fewer than 1billion live in regions where internet even exists. And the people without internet access are the people who do the most reading of all. That's why big house publishers rarely advertise online - they know it's utterly pointless to market to online users because they are too busy online to have time to buy or read books.

How do I find a publisher?


What I do is: 


*  1 I go to a local bookstore, 


*  2 I go to the section for my genre, 


*  3 I look at which books are closest to same as my MS, 


*  4 I buy the 30 most recently published paperbacks


*  5 I check the copyright pages for the publishing houses adress/website 


*  6 I look them each up in The Writer's Market https://www.amazon.com/Writers-Market-100th-Trusted-Published/dp/0593332032 and read what their submission guidelines are


*  7 I edit my MS to fit the submission guidelines


*  8 I submit the MS to all 30 of those publishing houses, making sure to follow their submission guidelines to the letter


Over the years, as I published my first novel in 1978, 43 years ago ad I publish 4+ novels a year, I tend to return to publishers who've published me previously:


Harlequin https://www.writeforharlequin.com/ or https://harlequin.submittable.com/submit


Baen https://www.baen.com/faq  Manuscript Submission Guidelines


Tor https://www.tor.com/submissions-guidelines/


Scholastic  https://scholastic.force.com/scholasticfaqs/s/article/How-do-I-submit-a-manuscript-for-teaching-ideas


Penguin/Random House http://www.penguinrandomhouse.biz/manuscripts/


Egmont https://www.egmont.com/business-areas/books (side note - this is Disney's publishing house and it's not easy to get accepted by them)


Hachette https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/about/faqs/#submissions


Those are the publishing houses I've personally been published by (I have 15 pennames, one for each genre I write)


I trade publish some books, self-publish others. 


For self publishing I use:


Amazon for ebooks and paperbacks: https://kdp.amazon.com/


Smashwords for ebooks: https://www.smashwords.com/


LuLu for hardcovers: https://www.lulu.com/


Morris Press for paperbacks: https://www.morrispress.com/ (note THIS is the publisher of my bestseller that sold 57million copies - as you can see, this is an actual book printer, not a publishing house, if you go through them, know that they deliver the books to your house and do NOTHING else - it's up to you to hand sell the books are local shops, hospital gift shops, bookstores, tourist stores, museums, churches, banks, from booths at festivals, carnivals, state fairs, PAX, ComicCon, etc. All 57million books sols from my bestseller were sold this way, that book is not available online or as ebook editions it can ONLY be bought out of the trunk of my car. Hand selling my books to locals and tourists is WHY I sell so many more books than the average self pubbed author who slaps an ebook on Kindle than wonders why they can't sell 10 copies after a year).


Morris Press Cookbook edition for my cookbooks: https://www.morriscookbooks.com/ same Morris Press as above, but these books are spiral bound and cookbooks only


FictionPress for web novels: https://www.fictionpress.com/


I don't feel that either way is better or worse than the other. Both have pros. Both have cons. Though self-publishing is definitely a lot more hard work because you have to basically become a business owner and do all your own marketing, hiring editors, hiring cover artists, and such, which is stuff the publisher would do if you were trade publishing.

The thing I use to determine if I'll trade publish or self publish a book is to ask: 


* "How marketable is it?"/"Is it something the mass mainstream average reader will want?"/"Will the average WalMart shopper buy this?"


vs


* "Is this a small niche market that won't sell will in mainstream markets?"/"Would only obscure topic-specific, underground, mom&pop niche shops be caught selling this?"


If the book would do well in the mainstream market, I pitch it to a trade publisher. Like if I write a Historical Romance, I'll pitch it to Harlequin or Kenderston.

But, if the book has only a small appeal to certain niche fetishes, I'll self publish it, use vanity press (the real ones, like Morris Press, that literally do nothing put print books and deliver them to your house, not the scam ones, who say they'll putout POD copies and list you on Amazon for a fee) to print up paperbacks, and drive to niche shops to pitch my books for consignment consideration in their store. So for example, if I wrote Moster Porn Erotica about bi-sexual, transgender, shapeshifting JellyFish (yes, that IS and actual genre/fetish that exists), this I'd self publish and sell to local 18+ shops, because no way would the average trade publisher touch something like that.

So, for me, I look at where the market is, who is the type of person who wants to read this book, where do they go to buy the book, and I decide to trade publish vs self publish, depending on what type of audience would best suit the book I wrote at that time.

Thus I end up trade publishing a book here, self publishing a book there, going back and forth. And in trade publishing I don't stick with on publishing house. I pitch the book to whatever house I feel would be best suited for that book, best able to market it to the right readers.

In the end, I wouldn't say self-pubbing was not smart, but I would say it's not easy, and takes knowing your target market really well, and knowing how to market to those people, in order to pull it off.

With self-pubbing it's easy to slap up an ebook on Amazon or WattPad or SmashWords and call it done. But that's hit or miss if it'll sell. Some do okay, most fail big time. To succeed at self-pubbing, requires heavy duty marketing OFFLINE, more than online, and the people who do best at it, are the vanity presser who fill their car trucks with paperback copies, rent a booth at every craft far, state fair, and festival they can find, and literally busk the books in person to tourists. You need an RV/motorhome and a love for living full time on the road all year long, driving from fair to fair, carnival to festival, gaming cons like PAX, comic book conventions like ComicCon, etc, in order to big time succeed in self publishing. Most writers just want to write and slap the ebook on Amazon, they don't want to buy an RV and live on the road, and that's why MOST never succeed at self publishing. 

Offline marketing trumps online marketing as does offline sales to brick and mortar shops, which still way itself ebook sales on Amazon. 73% of all books sold ae paperbacks bought from WalMart, so, getting into WalMart is the best road to big sales, wither trade pubbed or self-pubbed.

So, if you are looking to sell a lot of books: look for a publisher who caters to WalMart sales or contact WalMart about getting self-pubbed paperbacks on their shelves (WalMart does that, go to their website and click the wholesaler info link, head to the section for authors and book publishers, to fill out the paperwork - just know you'll need someone like Morris Press who can handle printing up 10k+ paperbacks to deliver to WalMart's book warehouse if you do self pubb and aim at WalMart.).

Hope that helps.



>>>What is the step by step actions to become a better writer?!

>>>I've been wanting to improve my writing for so long, and I've been a bit successful in that because my actions were consistent. What I want to ask today is, What are the No Bs daily, weekly, and monthly things you can do to improve your writing?

>>>

What I did was this...

So, here's the thing: I never went to school. I come from a culture that forbids female to learn to read and write and females can and often are publicly beaten to death by their own fathers if they dare try to learn to read and write. I was 31 years old first time I encountered an American woman and she could read and write like men did and I wanted that.

So, I started asking around how do you learn to do those things. How can a woman possibly learn to do things only men are allowed to do. How can I do them with out being executed for the crime of being a female who can read and write. I ended up finding a high school that was teaching adult education classes for the GED program and, so when I was 37 years old, I would sneak out at night after the men were asleep and walk there, and after 3 months of doing that, I got a GED.

After that I took a dictionary and a copy of Treasure Island and a 99 volume Funk and Wagers Encyclopedia set and a Bible, and a case of 144 legal pads, and I spent every day I wrote out a page from the dictionary, a page from Treasure Island, an entry/page from the encyclopedia, and a page from the Bible. I continued with that until I had written out every pages of all of them. 

I had to move several times because the men of the clan kept beating me up. And social services helped me to get a driver's license and a job, which caused the men to blow up my house with a bomb, because women having jobs is far more an evil crime than women learning to read and write, in their minds. So, it's not been easy to gain my freedom. A fixed house is not safe - they've taken out five of them since the bomb, so now I have a motorhome and can just drive away when they show up. Since having the motorhome I've had more freedom to focus on reading and writing.

So, after that I went around to yard sales, flea markets, library book sales, Goodwill, Salvation Army and any other place I could find that had used books, and I just bought every book I could find, fiction, non-fiction, magazines, newspapers. I found lots of them that had "books a $1 a bag/box" so I was able to get a few thousand books per every $100 I spent at these places.

And I just kept doing the same thing. Every night after work, I would get a mechanical pencil and just start writing out page after page of every book, in legal pads.

In my 40s I found out about colleges, that wasn't a thing I had ever heard of before than, and so I started going to every college that was a 2 hour drive or less. And because I can't do numbers or clocks or phones of maths or sciences, I don't know counting and stuff, so because of that I can't sign up for a degree program, however college administrators told me about community student enrichment programs. Which allow anyone to just walk into the college, enroll in 1 to 3 classes from any degree program and so you can take the same classes as the degree students, you just are not awarded credits and don't earn a degree (because in order to get a degree ou have t take specific sets of required classes, whereas this way you are just taking classes you want to take and don't bother with the required classes at all.)

So, once I found out you could do this, every semester I pick one or two colleges that are near enough each other I can go to both, and sign up for 2 to 3 classes at each. I try to take 5 classes each semester.

In the end, I ended up spending the last 20 years steadily enrolled in lots of college classes at lots of colleges. I focus primarily on writing/literature/english classes, but I also take a lot of art/painting, cooking/culinary arts, auto mechanics, business management/entrepreneurship, history/world history/local history/maritime history/aerceplogy, boat building, religion/philosophy/culture/sociology, psychology, nature/marine biology/park ranger/forestry, and other classes as well.

In the end, all of this has improved my writing skills on huge levels. You can see the difference, from just 20 years ago, when I was still trying to get the GED and I struggled badly to even write a sentence with any level of coherent logic, to today where now I can write things like this Reddit post - something I would not have been able to do just a few years ago. And on top of that, I've gone on to publish more than a hundred novels since then.

I know the common advice on this sub is to just read and write, but they say that because it's true. I mean, look at me. All I did was to learn the basics of reading and writing, and then set out to reading and writing down as I read, the pages of professional published books, dictionaries, more than a dozen encyclopedia sets, lots of classic literature (Poe, Dickens, Twain, etc), lots of 70s/80s Fantasy/Sci-Fi (Terry Brooks, Keith Laumer, James Blish, Anne McCraffy, Marion Zimmer Bradley, etc - because that's the sort of books most of the $1 a bag/box sales had available) and huge amounts of National Geographic magazines (because they are a dime a dozen at most flea markets so I was able to get hundreds and hundreds of them, and they are full of so much knowledge about the world we live in.) 

If I was going to say that any one thing was the best at helping me to improve my writing, I would say it was the cases of hundreds of yellow backed National Geographic magazines. Why? Because they are written in high quality pro-edited good/perfect grammar, so hand copying out the articles, line by line pencil on paper, really gets you in the habit of writing good grammar. Plus all the articles teach you lots of stuff about world cultures and animals and such. Most of my published short stories and novels started out as my getting an idea from an article in National Geographic, either from a photo in it or from an article in it. So not only did the National Geographic magazines help me to learn to read and write, but they also offer a wealth of story ideas and act as writing prompts, that in turn went on to be published.

In any case, I don't know if any of this will be helpful t you in your situation or not, but that's what I did to improve my writing, so that's what helped me.


>>>Any writers use mediums other than novels as their main influential source?

>>>For example, reading lots of manga/comics or watching anime/television shows versus reading novels?

Short story anthologies and National Geographic Magazine articles are my primary "influence sources" but I also write primarily short stories and non-fiction magazine articles, so I'm reading what I write. 

Though I also write novels, they are not my primary writing nor are they "standard novels" but rather are my older short stories, with a rewritten "bridge" between the stories to connect them into a novel, so each novel is actually 5 to 10 previously published short stories, with connecting pieces added between each story, so again, it's not me setting out to write a full novel, but rather me writing short stories, then a few years later republishing them as a "novelised edition" rather than as a collection.

I read novels at a fairly high rate 2+ a week, most weeks, but rarely is that inspiration for writing. It's just me reading because I like reading.

Because I write mostly short stories (publishing 1 to 3 a week most weeks/50 to 150 per year most years, for the past 43 years - with my most productive years seen 2 to 3 a day (900+ in one year) more than 10,000 total published across 15 series & 15 pennames), I also read mostly short stories, and I have specific authors that are my repeat go to authors to read before writing.

Before each writing session (which is 8 to 12 hours a day - this is a full time job for me, not something I do in between work) I have a 3 to 4 hour reading sessions. I read new stuff sometimes, but more often I am re-reading the same few hundred stories over and over again, year after year.

For example: I read the Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe EVERY NIGHT before going to bed. EVERY NIGHT, for decades. It's my favorite story. And for the past 9 years, I've also read Chapter 5 of The Lady of the Lake by Andrzej Sapkowski, because it's my favorite chapter of any book ever written.

In the morning before I start writing, I read stuff by Ernest Hemingway, Hills Like White Elephants being one I read 3 or 4 times every month. I re-read The Christmas Carol 3 or 4 times a year. Every year I will have read every short story by Edgar Allan Poe, Ernest Hemingway. H.G. wells, H.P.Lovcraft, Robert E. Howard, Shirley Jackson, Keith Laumer, Rumiko Takahashi, and several novels by Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, The Bronte sisters, George Elliott, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Mercedes Lackey, Anna McCaffery, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Jules Verne, Robert Louis Stevenson, and dozens of others. I have most every copy of Alfred Hitchcock magazine which I was a subscriber to back in the 70s/80s/90s, and most all of the Alfred Hitchcock Presents paperbacks and hardcover short story collections (published in the 40s/50s/60s/70s) and I have most every year of "Best American Short Stories of year" anthologies [**THESE** if you don't know the series](https://www.amazon.com/Best-American-Short-Stories-2006/dp/061854352X). 

I also have all the Mammoth Books (Mammoth Book of Horror, Mammoth Book of Vampire Romance, Mammoth Book of Ghost stories, etc - there are 100+ volumes in the series and still going - they put out a few new ones each year, all short story collections from current/new writers who entered the Mammoth series writing contests). [**THESE** if you don't know the series](https://www.amazon.com/Mammoth-Book-Halloween-Stories-Terrifying/dp/1510736433)

My office has a library in it, which has 10 bookcases that are each 12 feet tall and 21 feet long and hold 30,000 books, the bulk of them being short story collections/anthologies or classic literature novels from the 1800s to 1950s, mixed in with a lot of 70s and 80s Epic Fantasy. I have read all of them and re-read them constantly.

I start off each writing session, by having a 3 to 4 hour reading session, reading from those books, and as it's largely short stories I end up reading a dozen or more stories each day before I start writing. I never let a day pass without my morning reading session. If I don't read in the morning, than I cancel my writing sessions/livestreams for the day. Play video games on those livestream days instead. I won't write on a day I've not read first. Absolutely refuse to. My mind just isn't in the right place for writing pulp fiction short stories, if I've not spent a few hours reading that morning before writing.

I read to match what I'm in the mood to write. If I'm writing for my Weird Horror penname than I'll read Poe or Lovecraft or Ambroise Beise. If I'm writing for my Erotica penname, I'll read Virginia Wade's Cum 4 Bigfoot. If I'm writing for my pirate adventure pulp penname, I'll read Stevenson or Verne. If I'm writing for my Sci-Fi penname I read Keith Laumer or James Blish.

I don't believe in adopting another's writing style, rather I believe adopting an atmosphere (spooky/creepy vs steamy/exotic vs space cowboys) to fit the story being written, and so I will read for 3 or 4 hours, that particular type of atmosphere, to get me in the mood for writing that type of atmosphere. After that my day is divided into 3 livestreams' of 3 to 4 hours each with an hour break in between, where I write all my short stories and novels live.

I just love short stories, both reading and writing, so I end up reading way more shorts stories than novels, plus  write short stories daily and publish several a month.

As for the National Geographic Magazine, I use those mostly as writing prompts.  You see my primary series that I write (The Quaraun Series) is sort of a "travel blog slice of life" type story about a homeless man (Quaraun) who just walks from one side of the world to the other, along the way is joined by 2 other men (BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn), and every story starts out with the 3 of them in a new location. The stories don't connect and are each stand alone, so can be read in any order, or without reading any of the others, and each story is about them and their experience of this one new locations they are at. Well, this is where the National Geographic Magazines come in.

I don't plot out or pre-plan or outline any story, so I have no clue what I am going to write. It's totally random. I subscribe to several travel type magazines, like National Geographic (which is my fave magazine and the one I use most often for this) and I've got thousands of travel mag issues dating all the way back to the 1970s. I've never thrown away any of my travel magazines. So, what I'll do is, I'll grab a magazine at random, don't even look to see which one it is. Than I open it to any random page, and look at the photo on that page or read the article on that page. It might be a bird standing in a swamp, or a homeless child sleeping on a garbage heap, or a snow covered mountain, or the damage done by a typhoon... it doesn't matter what it is, whatever it is, that's what I start off with. That picture is WHERE my 3 MCs are, so I start out by writing them describing that scene. Than I read the article and whatever the article is about, that now becomes the plot pint of the story that my 3 MCs are dealing with. Like if the article is about a hurricane's effects on a town, well, now my MCs are in that town and dealing with the aftermath of being there when that hurricane happened.

I start every story the same way: main character and crew are sitting around talking (usually at a campsite in the forest or at a table in a tavern) and whatever the magazine picture was, that somehow becomes their focus. Maybe one of them hears a bird and they decide to trek to the swamp to look at it, or they look out the window and see a homeless child sleeping in the garbage and decide to bring him inside and buy him a meal, or they see a snow covered mountain in the distance and decide to hike to it, or they have just arrived in a town decimated by a typhoon. And from there, I just start writing at random, letting the character conversation take the lead.

So, for me, I'd say definitely National Geographic Magazine is the biggest media/source of inspiration for my writing, just because of how I use it for writing prompts for most of my stories.

I don't have a TV and there are no movie theatres within a 4 hour drive of me (I live far enough north that right now we get only 3 hours of daylight and we have snow 8 months of the year - things like electricity, internet, and phones are rare up here, I'm one of less than 3% of our population that has either electricity or internet.) So, I don't have access to watching TV or movies for inspiration.


The number one worst (best?) example of pregnancy plots done wrong, that I can think of, is The Mpreg Genre... pregnant male characters, usually the MC himself. Yes, this is an actual genre, I write it and all of my bestsellers include it. It's uhm... well... it sells, if you can stomach writing it, eh, I mean just look at Virginia Wade - $30k a week, is no income to snub. It's usually a sub-genre within the Monster Porn genre, which is my primary genre. I originally started writing Mpreg as a one-off satire joke novel to poke fun at one of my other novels, and fans lovedit and requested more of it and, well, who am I to not give my fans what they want: bishie boy pregnant men. I never set out to write Mpreg as a career, it just sort happened. There are times when I am glad I never tell anybody what my pennames are, Mpreg is one of those times.

Obviously, in The Mpreg Genre, you are dealing with major biological impossibilities, like the fact that males don't have a uterus, and other pertinent body parts. Likewise The Mpreg Genre exists almost exclusively in the M/M Genre, which is often seen as being in bad taste, just for how inaccurately gay men are often shown in Yaoi. Yes, Yaoi, is the top level genre name. Yaoi = Boy Love aka 2 male characters in love, writing as though they were 2 female characters in love, written by women, for women.

The Mpreg subGenre is probably the most controversial segment of Yaoi. A Yaoi itself is a genre which pretty much everyone agrees is the most controversial genre on the planet.

Mpreg is definitely a niche fetish genre that has far more haters than fans.

In Mpreg usually the plot line involves magic or curses or gennie wishes granted or sci-fi tech or alien abduction human breeding programs gone to result in an unsuspecting male MC suddenly find himself very pregnant. Usually a comedy of errors type situation, some stories get quiet series, while others take a walk down the body horror path.

In any case, all you have to do is type "Mpreg" into Google and you will be flooded with tens of thousands of examples of this particular type of pregnancy plot done very, very, horribly, purposefully wrong. Some can be found self pubbed on Amazon and/or Kindle, a few are even professionally published by big house publishers, but most appear on fan-websites as weird fanfiction of various characters, while the bulk of the genre can be found self published to Smashwords where such fetish genres reign supreme.

Aside from Mpreg you have such other controversial genres as "Big Belly Erotica" aka Pregnancy Erotica. I *cough* write this as well sssshhhh, don't tell anyone *cough*. In Pregnancy Erotica, you usually see, very old school pre-1950s pro-male, patriarchal male characters, with very submissive and very pregnant female characters, who within days of giving birth and immediately made pregnant again. This genre often crosses over with The Harem Genre (which is the type I write) where you see one very dominate male MC, (yes, the male is usually the MC in this genre, not the pregnant female) and him having 5 or more wives, all pregnant, all, staggered, so each baby is born 2 or 3 months aparts, for the specific purpose of the MC ALWAYS having at least 4 pregnant women clinging to him in any given scene.

This genre is read predominantly by men, though, it has it's female fans, like myself, I can't get enough of reading this genre. It usually focuses on male MCs who are extremely family focused, dotting on their wives and children, but also being men who have severe over the top obsessions with being surrounded by pregnant women.

This genre is HATED with verhemant levels by feminists, liberals, and the over all "woke sjw" community, who are quick to flood every book they can find with scathing nasty hate filed reviews, usually peppered heavily with death threats aimed towards the author. According to the tens of thousands of hate fueled reviews this genre recieves on Amazon, the primary reason people hate it so much, is because "man = bad, female = good, me Jane, pound Tarzan to big pulp". In short, they hate seeing men happy, they hate seeing men with loving devoted wives, they hate seeing men who are pro-life and father lots of children, they hate men who are good dads and caring fathers of big families of lots of children, heck... they just hate men and ain't afraid to say it, in reviews that are often longer in word count than the novellas they are reviewing.

Side note, this genre is often written by LDS/Mormon women, like myself. I'm a 5th generation Mormon, I grew up in a polygamous family. I had 12 uncles, all over whom each had no fewer than 5 wives, each wife had now fewer than 8 children, I have one uncle who has a wife who gave birth to 23 of his more than 400 children. There are more than 4,000 - yes four thousand - people in my family. I write what I know, and I know very well, men who have lots of wives, all of their wives pregnant at the same time. And that fact is not hidden from my readers, and the reviews lash on hate to THAT, more than they do the books. They simply can not fathom the exists of people who not carbon copies of themselves.

I've yet to see a review of the Harem Pregnancy Fetish genre, that was actually a review on the plots done bad, they are always just massive reviews on the evils of pregnant women being glad to be pregnant and not having abortions. They accuse this genre of being very anti-pro-choice, and try to pull the genre down to be part of their own psycho-babble hatred of all things related to families, especially men who like pregnant women, whom the reviewers vilify for no reason at all. 

When you get into more mainstream genres like Harlequin Romance, they for over a decade had a series called "Babies and Billionaires" that released 4 new titles a week for more than 10 years, all of them the theme of either a pregnant girl falling in love with a billionaire, or a billionaire single dad falling in love with the woman who is his child's teacher/babysitter etc. There are more than 2,000 books in the series, written by well over 100 authors, if you want to look for them. These usually center around the story of big business man seeking instant family and almost always end with a big wedding.

The people who hate this genre, usually hate it for the same reasons they hate the previous genre: "Man = bad, female = good, me Jane, pound Tarzan to big pulp. Man like baby... GRRRRRR? Me kick man in balls, show him who like baby! Babies bad! Just like men!  GRRRRR! Me big girl, kick man! Him make babies no more! Yay!"

Harlequin currently has a series called Love Inspired, which features predominantly pregnant female MCs, the ones not pregnant usually have a newborn to toddler baby. Most of the novels in this series featured a happily married couple who are having a birth/pregnancy/baby related crisis to overcome (usually something like the baby has cancer or something). These are often very religious, include scenes of the couple in church, the minister praying over the baby, etc, and often end with some miracle "god cured the baby on Christmas Eve" type ending.

The people who hate this genre, usually hate it for the same reasons they hate the previous two genre: "Man = bad, female = good, me Jane, pound Tarzan to big pulp. God = man. Man = bad, so god bad too! GRRRRR! Me girl with big power suit shoulder pads! Show god whose boss! Baby bad, because baby come from men!"

In short, in my personal experiences of writing all of the above genres for the publishers/lines mentions, it's not an issue of pregnancy plots being done bad so much as it is femistists with big mouths and small brains, trying to out scream each other about how much no woman in her right mind should ever want to be pregnant because pregnancy means you had to be in the same room as a man, for longer than it takes to beat the shit out of him for the sin of having been born male.

So, in the end, I say, write your book, ignore the haters. Haters are just small minded people who try to scream loud in the hops that if they scream loud enough, you won't notice they don't have a brain.

I love pregnancy plots. It's also why I haven't published a novel in 7 years, not since April 10, 2015. My novels predominantly featured pregnancy plots, and, I can't write them any more. Triggers flashbacks to the day my children were murdered.



Do keep in mind, there are still 2 states in America where being LGBTQAI+ lands you in prison for 25 years, and in both of those states LGBTQAI+ books are not allowed to be sold in stores and authors living in those states and publishing LGBTQAI+ books in other states are subjected to being dragged through court by town hall mayors (I've been dragged through court 7 times in the past 7 years by Maine town officials).

And in both of those 2 states (Maine and Florida) gay men being publicly beaten to death by huge mobs of 100+ people while police officers and sheriffs cheer them on, has increased by 400% since 2020 as a direct police retaliation against BLM, and is currently sitting at no fewer than 12 gay men beaten to death each month of 2021, with the numbers getting higher each month, just in a radius of 14 miles from my driveway, there are 200,000 - two hundred thousand - Ku Klux Klan members right now parading around Maine with assault rifles - right now in November 2021 - gunning down entire families if any one person in the family is suspected of being gay or an alley of gay.

So anyone telling you it's a okay to be gay in America, or worse lying to you and telling you it's safe to write LGBTQAI+ books right now in America, clearly doesn't live in either Maine or Florida.

The dead people include 10 of my 12 children who were beheaded the youngest was 4 the oldest was 16, killed simply because one of my novels features a gay couple.

Maine is being held hostage by the KKK right now and no one in the lower 48 gives a shit.


Is it acceptable to write a book nowadays that doesn't have any LGBTQ+ characters. (self.writing)submitted 3 hours ago by ThundernLightning308

>>>Basically my book that I'm trying to write is set in New York City in 1966. All my characters are straight, most of my characters are white, there are several that are not. Taking into account that the world we live in today, this topic is a big deal. However, the book I want to write, I want it to seem real, which would mean none of the LGBTQ+, would that be acceptable.

>>>As for the racism that went on back then, I do have a work around for it. Like cutting the word off halfway through and then followed by an action. For example, "You Yell–", Bang. Officer A slammed the handcuffed prisoner onto the desk, "I told you, you have the right to remain silent.". Would this be acceptable as a work around the racism?

You all keep asking how my children were murdered...

You know... I'm getting sick of the red haired woman on my front porch... she stands on the front porch of 409 Main Street screaming Todd this and Todd that and I've no clue who Todd is, and she screams about suicide demons and gay demons at my car... she doesn't even live there. It's an elderly couple who live there. She does it every time they are gone to work.

She's the SAME red head who did the golf club attack in 2013, the one that killed my baby when I was 8 months pregnant... and the SAME red-haired women who took a baseball bat to my car February 2016.

She's been on the front porch every day for the past month now shrieking hysterics at my car. She's getting ridiculous.

And if you didn't know what she did in 2013 and 2015... here, I wrote about it on Reddit

.....

You know, I'm not sure what the worry is, considering stories that feature LGBTQ+ make up fewer than 2% of all books published each year, including 2020 and 2021. 

The fact questions like this show up, only tells me how incredibly paranoid straight white men are and how threatened they feel by the 12% of LGBTQA+ people on the planet who buy, read, and write the 2% of LGBTQA+ books that exist.

I don't know what media you are reading/watching that you think there is a flood of LGBTQA+ books out there or that you are required to include LGBTQA+ characters just for fit in with the big crowd or get published.

That fact remains, including LGBTQA+ characters is going to KILL your chances of getting published by MOST publishers and will KILL 90%+ of your sales, given the average reader, still today in 2021, will not only refuse to buy, but will actively boycott any book with a LBGTQA+ character in it.

Just because SJWs scream the loudest on Twitter, doesn't mean, that either publishers or readers are rushing out their looking for LGBTQA+ books.

TIP: Research the real world, not Twitter, Wikipedia or any place else online... you'll find the real world, ain't nearly as accepting of our kind or books about us, as the internet would have you believe. Keeping in mind too that only 10% of the world's population, even has internet access, and only 1/3rd of America has access to either cell phones or internet. There is still more than 1/3 of Americans who have yet to receive electricity or plumbing in their region. I think people online forget that, because most people online seem to live in large built u areas where there is easy access to internet, plumbing, and electricity. 

And those people with easy access to internet, rarely live in places where the brutality, violence, hate crimes, and things like being tied to the back of a car naked and dragged though the streets happen (that happened to my NOT gay brother, who was accused of being gay, because he wore a pink suit to a prom - he was 14 years old when they did that to him, and that was 1968, so close to your 1966 year to research).

In the REAL offline world, you risk your life every day when you set foot outside if you are LGBTQA+, yes, right in in America, in 2021. It is ONLY in a very rare few places - big cities mostly, where it is safe to say you are LGBTQA+. And if you didn't know that, you've NOT researched much.

And it was worse in 1966, those of us old enough to remember, know how much worse it was.

I'm not white, and I'm asexual, and I go weeks between being able to go outside, because a local mega-church with 2k+ members, likes to stand in my driveway with god hates fags signs and call me a transvestite, because I wear a hijab and embroidered caftan and their minds that makes me a drag queen, because they claim no female would dress like I do - the red haired woman who leads that group  on November 14, 2013, beat me with a golf club, while I was putting bags in the bag seat of my car... I am deaf and blind in one eye so I neither heard nor saw her coming... I was also 8 months pregnant. That red haired woman with the golf club, murdered my baby, broke my vertebrae, broke my hip, broke my knees, left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair, while screaming "too gay for the family friendly town"...

 on April 10, 2015, she and her church group arrived at my house and 74 grown men and women, murdered 10 of my 12 children, ages 4 to 16, cut their heads off and nailed them to the door, while 14 police officers held me, my husband, my mother, and one of my brothers on the ground with guns to our heads. All of them chanting "too gay for the family friendly town, kill or be killed", while a preacher rambled on about something he called "the gay apocalypse" which he said was armageddon claiming that gay demons were possessing people, and there would only be 133,000 non-gay survivors to do battle against the gay demons. THAT is how my family died... almost 7 years ago. 

Christmas is later this week, but I haven't celebrated it in 6 years now, because I have no one to celebrate with, because my not gay family was deemed gay, because I wear a hijab and embroidered caftan, drive a pink car, and have a pink motorhome, and those are the things they cites as making me gay. They claimed that were rescuing my children from becoming gay, and that was why they had to kill them, to ensure they did not become gay. 

The FBI is currently looking for the redhaired woman who instigated this... she has many life sentences in prison waiting for her, should they ever identify her. 

Do you have information?

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case.

If you have information about any of these attacks, give it to him.

He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

Less than 30 days ago, that group returned November 21, 2021, to gun down my bisexual neighbour - a 98 year old Jewish man who was a WW2 concentration camp survivor. 

That happened  just 28 days ago. 

THIS is the reality of being LGBTQA+ in America. 

So you feeling threatened by feeling the need to include LGBTQA+ characters... you need to get off the fruitie-tutties-rose-coloured SJW world of Twitter and take a look at the REALITY of being LGBTQA+ Because the woke SJW of Twitter don't know shit. They prance around with their heads up their asses and tell the world being LGBTQA+ is a bed of roses outside the closet. They don't live in the real world where not only are ACTUAL LGBTQA+ people being beaten to death on a daily basis, but where people who are RUMORED to be gay, by busy body witch-hunting hate mongers are also beaten to death along side the ACTUL gay people.

Did you know there are still 2 states in America where it is illegal to sell gay books? Maine and florida. Book stores get shut down by sheriffs with court orders, in Maine and Florida, if the bok store gets caught carrying LGBTQA+ books. Yes, right now in 2021, it just happened to another one in Biddeford, Maine less than 4 months ago. nd you're worried that you might have to put LGBTQA+ characters in your book? Honey, book stores are being shut down by the government for carrying gay books, I think you're pretty safe to not include LGBTQA books.

You don't need to research what 1966 was like... just go outside and watch how your neighbours treat people. Than times it by 10, because it was ten times worse in the 1960s.

No, you do not need to write LGBTQA+ characters to get published. In fact doing so will reduce your chances of getting published.

But if you have to ask condescending questions like this, about you feel you can't write what you want to write because you feel pressured into writing gay characters... than you might want to look in the mirror and ask yourself why, you feel so threatened, by people who are no threat to you at all.

LGBTQA+ people are just that: people. And they deserve to be treated with the same decency and dignity as any one else.

And you know what... a writer who feels they HAVE to include gay characters, but hates gay people so much that they feel the need to run to a forum the rant on how they don't want to include gay character, SHOULDN'T be writing gay characters, because clearly you have issues with it, and if you have issues with it, you'll not be able to write them as people, you'll not be able to do them justice, because you'll not be able to treat them with dignity.

Also... if you think racism and bigotry is nothing by haters saying niger and fag, than you are seriously delusional and haven't got a clue. Name calling is not racism or bigotry, but the cutting the heads off of 10 children the youngest age 4 and the onlest age 16, and nailing their heads to their mother's door, because you suspect their mother of being transgender... that IS racism and bigotry.

There's a hell of a big difference being racists calling me a niger or a fag and racists murdering my 10 children and nailing their heads to my door.

And the fact that so many come to this forum thinking using n word or f word counts as racism, just shows how clueless they really are to what REAL AND ACTUAL racism is.


Do you make an interesting story first and then realize the deep message within, or do you have a message and then make a story to tell that message?

>>>Do you make an interesting story first and then realize the deep message within, or do you have a message and then make a story to tell that message?

>>>How do you go about starting a passion-project? I hear a lot of people who seem to have this "mission" for their story, and it seems like some of the great works of fiction have this deepness that just seems too good not to be planned ahead of the story.

>>>While I myself just want to tell an interesting story, and by accident or through my subconcious or whatever, end up finding themes/criticisms of society/messages and whatnot.

>>>How do you do it? How do most big authors do it?

I think you must be an American, yes? I say this because I am not and I find many American habits to be extremely bizarre, and this habit of not being able to enjoy a story for the sake of the story because they are too busy desperately looking for secrets and hidden messages one of the most outlandish, utterly insane things I have ever encountered in American culture, and I just can't wrap my mind around it at all. The concept of looking for secrets and hidden messages inside of a novel is just so foreign and weird to me, and yet, everywhere I turn,, every American I meet, it just seems like they all do this.

Before I encountered Americans, I had never even heard of the concept of stuffing messages into a novel. It just seems so weird and fake to me. Like they are saying authors are only capable of writing propaganda to push an agenda, so they feel the desperately paranoid schizophrenic need to search every page for what every brainwashing tidbit of illuminati lunacy might have been slipped in. It's pretty ridiculous really, when you watch Americans go all mega paranoid and be unable to enjoy reading because they are so terrified of hidden messages in the novel.

I have never consciously put a theme in anything I've written, so I'm always surprised when a reader emails to ask about this or that theme and I why I focused on it so much. I'll go back and reread what I wrote and then still be clueless as to where in the heck the reader saw theme A or theme B in the story.

I think, readers see themes they WANT to see. Like for example, one of my novels has a reputation for being what readers have called "heavy with gay agenda" and yet, the novel in question has no gay characters, no mention of gay anything, and I can't figure out what in the heck they are referring to as "gay agenda". They were very anti-gay super christian type, and were angry that there was so much pro-gay themes in the novel, so wrote me a long scathing email on how much they hate gay characters and gay authors and gay politics. They included lots of Bible quotes on burning in lake of fire and needed to repeat. I was just reading the email and thinking: "What in the heck are they talking about? I'm a straight woman, so I'm not a gay author, like they said, none of my characters are gay, so that wasn't there either. There was no mention of anything to do with any politics gay or otherwise. To this day, I have no clue where in the heck they fund "gay themes" in my novel.

I say this, because, later I saw that same person (they live local to me) organizing anti-gay protests out front of a local grocery store. When I asked what they were protesting, as I had to walk by them to get in the store, they raved about the fact that the store had hired a gay cashier, and they were demanding a boycott of the "gay store" and it's "gay loving manager".

Well, when I saw this, and I recognized them as being the same person who has sent me that email, that's when I finally understood, WHY it was they thought my book had "gay themes" in it. This was a person who had a personal agenda, a personal vendetta against the LGBTQAI+ community, and so they were ACTIVLY LOOKING  for gay this or gay that in ANYTHING and EVERYTHING they came across. Which resulted in them seeing "gay themes" in places where no such theme existed at all. In their mind, they WANTED to find a certain type of theme, because they were actively looking for that theme, so they could hate on it, which resulted in them putting that theme into everything they saw.

I don't know, I think people see whatever it is they want to see, wither the thing they are looking for is in the book or not. They want the theme to be there so bad, that they are convinced they saw it. 

*shrug*

And I think most themes, which readers find in books are this same way. 

I think most themes are just the reader putting what they want to find in the novel, and most themes are not actually in the novels at all, readers, just think they are.

Another thing, is I never understand how people see or find themes in novels. I'm in several book clubs, and we'll all read the same book that week, than take about it at the next meeting. And with every novel, I'll be talking about how great the characters were, how fn the adventure was... and everyone else will be talking about this or that political theme they found in the novel, and I'll be asking: "What theme? I didn't see that. Where did you find any mention of politics in the story?" And they will point it out to me and I'll reread the chapter right there in the meeting and I still won't see it.

Well, this happens all the time, so I ask them:"How is it you are seeing all these themes and hidden messages? Where you really that bored with the characters and their adventure that you couldn't focus on the characters and spent time nitpicking for hidden messages instead?" And they will always answer with story about how high school ruined their ability to read a novel. They can't enjoy characters and plots anymore, because some high school teacher told them they had to search the text with a fine tooth comb looking for themes.

Damn. Is that what school is like? I guess I'm glad I never went to school then. My parents took me out of school at age 8 and I didn't get my GED and start going to random college classes at every college in the area until I was 47 years old. I can't take degree programs because I don't know math, I can't count or tell time or read calendars, or use phones or money or credit cards and stuff, because I don't know how to do numbers. That's why I sign up to take a class here and a class there at so many colleges. You can take the individual classes without taking the math and science pre-requisits that way. So, it ends up, I have a very difficult time trying to wrap my mind around the concept of reading for the sake of searching for themes, because I was never taught to do that because I never went to school.

Also, I've not had a tv since 1987, and the last phone I had was the switchboard rotary in 1978. I've not had a phone since the switchboard station downtown shut down, and we don't have cell phone towers up here, so cell phones and things like discord or tiktok or instagram that are cell phone apps, and things like netflix or hulu that require cellphone towers for streaming, I don't even have access to. I don't buy newspapers either. Without newspapers or tv or cell phones, we don't have access to news reports (like the whole 9-11 twin towers thing - we found out about it in 2013, two years after it happened). We are far enough north that we have snow all year long and as not many people live up here, no companies have any incentive to bring power lines up here even (we use solar power and wind power and generators mostly). So, we don't get to find out about politics and stuff that are happening in the lower 48 more than once or twice a year, and than it's from some tourist asking "So what'd you think about Covid19?"... what? We found out about that December 2020, I guess the rest of the world knew about it a year earlier?

 I live in Maine, there is no cell phone service up here, 2/3s the state doesn't even have electricity or indoor pluming, the average Mainer doesn't know what a computer is, let alone what the internet is. So, thinks like Discord, Instagram, and Tiktok, that are cell phone apps only, are not an option for me, seeing how cell phones are not things we have up here.I think the lower 48 forgets how isolated Maine is up here.

I think the fact that we are so extremely isolated up here and so very cut off from the rest of America, that, we end up, not knowing "the hot trends" in "political themes" and so, only outsiders from the lower 48 ever get hyped up on finding themes. We just ain't effected by them much up here in our every day life, so I think that has a large effect on how I read and write and why I struggle so hard to find themes in any novel.

I'm not pre-conditioned to look for themes, so I don't think to be all arrogant and nitpicky about tearing about the author's novel looking for themes, because I'm too busy having fun enjoying the adventure the characters are having, to pay attention to some stupid as special snowflake politics.

I read for the characters. I read to make a new friend with the character. I read to share the adventure the character goes on. I just can't understand how it is people read to look for themes and messages and politics. I wonder, is it because we don't get bombarded with news and politics up here, that we end up just not thinking about those things? Is seeking out themes when reading, a side effect of the lower 48 being over bombarded with news and politics all day every day? Have people forgotten how to just enjoy reading for the sake of enjoying reading?

Well, I write the same way I read. I create a character that I would want for a best friend, and then I write about them going on an adventure that I would want to go on if I was their best friend and going somewhere with them. That's it. I don't go around looking for themes to ram down the readers' throats because I don't have an political agenda when I write. And seeing how we get our news 2 to 3 years after the rest of the country, I have no way of knowing what hot political stupidity readers are going to be looking for this week anyways.

I am well aware that Americans see me for having some pretty outlandish writing methods that most American writers wouldn't touch with a 9 foot pole. I'm also aware I come from a non-American/non-European background/culture that the average American doesn't even know exists, let alone could wrap their mind around trying to imagine it exists. And my writing methods are influenced by that. I came from a culture that wouldn't think twice about cutting out the tongue of a woman who talked back to her husband, and strictly forbids women from having jobs, punishment for stealing is a hand cut off, punishment of lying is tongue cut out, punishment for adultery or being gay is beheading, yet drug dealers run everything and child prostitution is the biggest income. Still right now in 2021. I grew up a female in that world, didn't go to school because I was a child in a cage on display for pedofile men. I was rescued from that life by an FBI raid that was there because my uncles had a stockpile of military guns. FBI found 140 of use little girls locked up in puppy mill style cages. They had no clue we were there or what the hell they had walked into. I don't thin a lot of people in the lower 48 know what Maine is like.

The average American, struggles with things like school homework, cell phone service, affording vaccinations for their children, ... up here in Maine, I didn't even know those things existed until I was 31 years old.

Mainstream America was BIG time culture shock for me. The amount of freedom women and children have in the lower 48 of America is mind boggling, a thing I never could have imagined existed. Women allowed to get jobs, things like schools and doctors. It's why I attend so many colleges and so many college classes. You just can't do stuff like that up here in Maine. The men won't allow it. I didn't get my GED and start going to random college classes at every college in the area until I was 47 years old. I can't take degree programs because I don't know math, or science, to this day, now even in 2021, I can't count or tell time or read calendars, or use phones or money or credit cards and other number stuff, because I don't know how to do numbers. That's why I sign up to take a class here and a class there at so many colleges. You can take the individual classes without taking the math and science prerequisites that way. 

Writing for me, is the ultimate freedom. But, I came from a culture where freedom to write was not an option, because I was born female. And it's why I took up writing. The freedom to read and not be beaten to death for it. That's a great blessing. The freedom to write. Americans don't know how good they have it or how great their freedom to read and write is. I suppose you could say my reading so much and my writing so much is a direct side effect of my culture, and me making up for lost time by reading and writing at a higher rate than average. That's why my writing advice skews to the controversial "just write" good or bad, just write, write what you know, write what you love, don't ask for permission to right white or black or male or female, just bask in your freedom to write.

My method of writing, reflects heavily the culture I was raised in. As does my method of publishing, predominantly vanity press aka local print shops print up thousands of copies and I sell my novels out of the trunk of my car at local beaches to the tourists. I sold 57 million copies that way. Each of my novels averages around 20k sales the first summer of it's release, all to tourists on the beach, sales from my car. And yet,every time any one on this sub mentions vanity press, they get bombarded with answers telling them to not do it. Why? Avoid the scams yes, but, there's nothing wrong with vanity publishing if you are willing to get off your ass and get the face to face local sales. It works for me, that's why I advice it.

Never having gone to school, I know nothing about "traditional writing methods". The concept of themes, character arcs, 3 act structure, beats, tropes, hero journey, were all things I never heard of before joining this subreddit and yet before joining this subreddit I had already published 138 novels, some of them bestsellers. Some of them for big publishers: including Harlequin and Disney. I've sold more books than most people on this sub combined. And yet, I can offer no advice on silly useless things like themes, character arcs, 3 act structure, beats, tropes, hero journey, because I'm not even sure what they are.

I write as a way to work through my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Agoraphobia (which at its worst, I was unable to leave my bedroom for 15 years, at one point could not even step on the floor - it was EXTREME agoraphobia)(all 3 caused by the same trauma). This is WHY I always say, I don't write for "YOU" the reader, I don't give a shit about "YOU" the reader. I write so that I can get from one day to the next. I write as therapy.  I write for ME and my own mental hell and I don't give a rat's ass about "you the reader", writing for the market, writing for trends, writing to be published, writing for income. I write because I severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Agoraphobia, so you see, I'm not thinking about hidden themes or secret messages, because I'm not writing FOR A READER, I'm writing for me. I publish it because, why not? If anyone reads it and enjoys it, great, if not, that fine too, because I already reached my goal with it long before it was published. 

I wonder if I was writing FOR the reader, instead of for myself, would I write differently? Would I feel compelled to weave in hidden secrets and messages?

Readers have told me my series is full of politics and erotica, but I don't know where they find either in it. So if they read the my series and you saw politics, Erotica, or anything else, that's all stuff THEY put there because THEY WANTED it to be there. I don't write politics or Erotica - I write the abuse my uncles and their friends did to me and I write a character who survives the exact same abuse I went through only he survives it better than I did and he can go outside and talk to people, 2 things I can not do.  

I write, so that I can stop having PSTD agoraphobia attacks for a few hours, long enough so I can go to WalMart and buy food. But the effect only last a couple of hours, so if I want to go outside again the next day, I have to write the abusers being defeated by my MC all over again the next day.

It's the only way I am able to go outside. My panic attacks and phobias of being beaten up is so severe that I can not set foot outside the front door.

This is WHY I say, I don't write for the reader, I don't give a shit about the reader. I write so that I can get from one day to the next. I write as therapy. I write for ME and my own mental hell and I don't give a rat's ass about the reader, writing for the market, writing for trends, writing to be published, writing for income. I write because I severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Agoraphobia.

I wonder too, had I gone to school, would I be conditioned to look for themes as well? Would I not have the pure joy of reading for the sake of experiencing joy from reading, like I do? I don't know.

Themes are just never a thing I think to think about, not when reading or writing. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Would my writing be better if I wrote with themes in mind? Would I enjoy reading more if I scurried through the text with a magnifying glass looking for hidden themes between the lines? No clue. I just put all my focus on the characters. I like character driven stories so that is what I both read and write.

I couldn't even imagine trying to write something and try to force a hidden message into it. It feels immoral and sleazy. I just wouldn't feel right doing it at all.

When I write a story, I just pick a character that I am in love with and write him doing things so I can go on adventures with him. Fuck messages. Who wants a message? The freedom to write without being shot in the head for doing so is enough for me. I want to have fun with a character that is fun to have fun with. I think American writers take their freedom to write for granted. If they knew what a risk it is to write in other places, maybe they wouldn't be so focused on having agendas and shoving messages down reader throats. I think Americans have forgotten how to just enjoy reading for the sake of reading and writing for the sake of writing.

In the end, I just find the whole concept of putting themes in novels, to be bizarre and outlandish. I feel like authors who do that are coming from a culture that is so alien to the culture I grew up in, that they might as well be from another planet. I just can't wrap my mind around the concept of stuffing your novel full of themes and messages and politics and agendas. It seems so forgiven and bizarre to me. And yet, if half the posts I see on Reddit are any indication, the concept of shoving themes into your novel while you write, seems to be a pretty standard practice in the lower 48, yes?

I don't know. I just don't get it. I don't understand why readers waste time hunting for hidden themes and messages in novels, it seems like such a pointless waste of time, like don't they have anything better to do? Nor do I understand why some writers focus on putting themes in their novels. I guess if that's what they want to do, well, okay. More power to them. As for me, I'll just continue to read and write about characters having fun time adventures and continue on in my being baffled over the existence of themes and messages.

I have Kanner's Syndrome and Selective Mutism and extreme social anxiety, and am recovering agoraphobia which at it's worst I not only couldn't go outside the house, but I couldn't go outside of my bedroom for 15 years; so, getting out and talking to people was a HUGE obstacle for me. 

It took me 5 years to make it out my front door and to the end of the driveway and another 2 years to be able to get my car out the driveway and to the end of the street. But I kept trying every day, and now I'm at a point where 2 or 3 days a week, I drive 100+ miles and take college classes and visit museums and attend conventions and I talk to people constantly at them.

Getting out and talking to people face to face, and especially joining college classes at 200+ colleges (not all at once, but 5 classes every 3 months over a period of several years) forced me to have a schedule where I had to be somewhere (the college) so I had to go outside and I had to talk to people.

Well, all this in turn improved my vocabulary, and in turn, improved my writing. But themes and hidden messages? Nope. Themes and hidden messages are still a lost art on me, and I doubt I'll ever master them, but I'm okay with that. I've accepted that I can't learn to do everything in writing and instead of focusing on areas I can't do well, I focus on areas I am good at instead.



Copywriters and Authors of Reddit: Do you have to source every metaphor you use in a book? 

>>>Copywriters and Authors of Reddit: Do you have to source every metaphor you use in a book? 

>>>I loosely copy but heavily remix some metaphors from people in a book I am drafting. I have read some books that used really good imagery and I want to copy but remix that for my own book. Do I have to source that?

I don't use metaphors. And as areader, I stop reading as soon as metaphors start showing up. Metaphores are a HUGE turn off.

I personally find that authors who rely heavily on metaphors, tend to do so because they have little creative ability when it comes to plots, worldbuilding, and fleshing out characters, so they try to cover it up by tossing flowery phrases at the reader, in the hopes that the reader won't notice the lack of plot, lack of worldbuilding, and lack of realistic/believable characters.

And, what you are suggesting that you want to do, only supports my belief that writers who use metaphors are incapable of creating things on their own and feel the need to steal from others.

In case you didn't know, plagiarism is illegal and comes with a $25k fine and up to 50 years in prison.


Do you edit as you write or wait until the story is fully written before editing?

>>>Do you edit as you write or wait until the story is fully written before editing?

>>>I find myself editing each chapter as I write, although it’s only 1 pass through and I’m not looking for every issue. I’m more rereading to make sure it sounds fairly good before moving on. Then, when the book is fully written, I’ll go back with a more thorough edit.

I do a mix of both.

If I notice an error, mistake, plot hole, typo, etc while I'm writing, and it's a quick 5 second fix, I'll fix it and keep going. If it's a major issue, like a plot hole that will require hours/days to rework and fix, I'll add a note in the text (I start all notes with a tilde ~ sign so I can find them later with find/replace function) and keep on writing.

Years ago, I used to try to fix big issues as I wrote, but, it just slowed me down and made it so I never got to the end of the first draft. It was frustrating never feeling like I could finish a draft.

Now, if I hit a big plot issue, instead of jumping back to rewrite to fix it, I just make a note that I found it, then, keep writing what I was writing.

You see, the thing is, my story/plot will likely evolve and change a lot before the end, so it's pointless for me to try to fix the plot hole as I write, because, by the time I reach the end,  may have fixed it anyways or that whole sub-plot may have been removed from the story and fixing it would have been a waste of time, or maybe that plot hole gave me an idea for something else, and so fixing the plot hole would have stopped a new story arch from showing up. 

So, minor stiff like spelling errors and grammar/punctuation issues, and typos, if I see them, I fix them as I type, and the big stuff, I just make a quick note of and move on without fixing it. The thing is, I'm going to edit at the end anyways, so I focus mostly on writing while I'm writing the first draft.

During the rewrite - which, for most stories, I end up doing 4+ rewrites, and 7+ rewrites is not unusual for me... and during the rewrites, all the plot hole stuff, is going to get scrutinised a lot, so it's kind of pointless for me to worry about it during the first draft stage anyways, just because I know I'm going to do several rewrites anyways, and during the rewrites I'm LOOKING for errors, so I'll see most of them then, and just worry about them then. So, I edit while I write during the rewrites.

Also, I tend to underwrite my first drafts, so most end around 40k to 60k words, but the published novels are rarely under 150k and my biggest one was 230k. So, my rewrites involve a lot of adding scenes, making scenes longer, and well, actually rewriting, thus why I call it a rewrite verses calling it an edit. I see rewriting as completely rewriting the whole story vs editing as fixing errors.

And so, when I'm writing the first draft, almost no editing happens, but during the rewrites, lots of editing happens, and the whole thing gets a massive edit after the final rewrite, before I send it off to be published.

When I'm doing the first draft, though, I just try to get the whole thing down on page as fast as possible and try to ignore my inner editor, because I don't want to forget the story before I have a chance to finish writing it.

In the end it's a mixed bag of editing as I go, editing as I rewrite, and then a big dedicated edit at the end of the rewrites.


Where to post my work?

>>>Where to post my work?

>>>I want to post my work somewhere where it can be seen by people, preferably somewhere I can post chapter by chapter as I write.

For stuff that it "too niche" for mass market publishers, (which is most of what I write seeing how I write largely Reverse Haram Fantasy (all males - no females), Tentacle Henti, Furry Fetish Niche (men who are half animals), Long Hair Fetish Niche, Hair Brushing Fetish Nich, Hair Shampooing Fetish Niche, Voyeurism Watching Bathers Bath in public places like rivers Fetish Niche, MPreg Fetish, and Unicorn Porn - and all of those are written as m/M Seme/Twink Yaoi - all stuff most trade publishers won't touch with a 12 foot pole) or that I feel would gain more readers via self-publishing, web serials, etc. instead of trade publishing here's the places I use and how I use them. Not sure if any of them would be what you are looking for or not.

I publish my stuff "free to read online" on 

* Royal Road: https://www.royalroad.com

* Scribble Hub: https://www.scribblehub.com

* FictionPress: https://www.fictionpress.com

* WattPad: https://www.wattpad.com

* DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com

And also my author homepage, and my blog. I also keep everything can be found in the backlog/archive section of my author website, and list a direct link back to Scribble Hub, FictionPress, DeviantArt, WattPad, or Royal Road.

Earlier this week, I was on Apple App and Google Play store, websites, searching for "free novel" and "web serial" apps. Not looking to read, but rather, looking to see if any of them were places I could write for. If you scroll to the bottom of the app store page, each app as a "visit website" link, which takes you to the apps website database from their web novels, and on each one you can create an account and start posting. I've found move than 300 of them so far. I am spending the next few weeks joining each of them, and am going to submit something to each, to see what it is like and if I want to use any of them regular or not. I've not decoded if any of them are any good or not, in terms of what I look for in places to put my work on. But anyways, you can do the same thing. You don't have to download any apps or buy anything, just browse Apple app store and Google Play store, and search for "web novel", "web serial", "books to read" etc in the two stores' search boxes and you'll find tons of apps, then visit each app's website and see if any of them are web novel posting sites you are interested in. There are at least 300 of them, probably more. I stopped opening websites after I got to 300, because I figured, if I joined one a day for the year of 2022, that's get me in the habit of uploading a short story a day, and give me a chance to do a mini-test of a different site each day for the entire of 2022. In the end I'll probably use fewer than 10 of them long term, but I like to see wat all my options are, so I'll be trying out a lot of them throughout 2022. We'll see how that goes, if any of them end up being things I stick with or not.

For people who want to pay money to buy the finished physical product novels, I upload to:

* SmashWords (ebooks editions): https://www.smashwords.com

* Amazon Kindle (paperback editions): https://kdp.amazon.com

* and LuLu (hardcover editions): https://www.lulu.com

Morris Press for paperbacks: https://www.morrispress.com/ (note THIS is the publisher of my bestseller that sold 57million copies - as you can see, this is an actual book printer, not a publishing house, if you go through them, know that they deliver the books to your house and do NOTHING else - it's up to you to hand sell the books are local shops, hospital gift shops, airport gift shops, bookstores, tourist stores, museums, churches, banks, from booths at festivals, carnivals, state fairs, PAX, ComicCon, etc. All 57million books sold from my bestseller were sold this way, that book is not available online or as ebook editions it can ONLY be bought out of the trunk of my car. Hand selling my books to locals and tourists is WHY I sell so many more books than the average self pubbed author who slaps an ebook on Kindle than wonders why they can't sell 10 copies after a year).

Morris Press Cookbook edition for my cookbooks: https://www.morriscookbooks.com/ same Morris Press as above, but these books are spiral bound and cookbooks only

I also do writing related video stuff on TikTok (quick 30sec quote clips), YouTube (me reading my paperback editions), and the Twitch stream archives.

I daily live stream for 3 streams of 4 hours each, almost every day, on Twitch, my entire writing, editing, and uploading process (so my readers get to see the work written, and see what the first drafts were before being edited, watch how I edit, see how I make my cover art, and know it's live to read because they see it uploaded on stream as well).

I also post mini-excerpts on Twitter and sample chapters on FaceBook and Tumbler and MySpace (yep, I said MySpace - oddly, it still has enough users to be worth still using).

Interestingly however, my biggest traffic location of all, is Pinterest, where I post all my cover art and my character drawings and stuff. And when I say biggest - I mean, I'm one of Pinterests highest trafficked profiles, getting over 2million hits a day. But I have several hundred Pin boards and am heavily active over there repinning and share other people's stuff far more than my own, and Pinterest only works as a "marketing tool" if you are someone insanely addicted to spending hours a day on the site, which is something I've done for close to 15 years now - I've had my Pinterest account since beta testing the sight when it only had a few dozen members, so I'm dealing with a really old account and a heavily active account. I don't think most newer or less active accounts could get the traffic I get from there, so keep that fact in mind if you do decide to use Pinterest. I'm just someone who is addicted to using Pinterest, and I don't use it to promote anything. I have one Pin board that lists my book covers and links to them, and that's it, all the rest of my several hundred pin boards are all repinning other people's stuff that I like. If you use Pinterest for marketing only and never use it for a social chat place, you'll likely never gain a following there or get traffic to your books from it. Pinterest is all about how you use it, and their community really doesn't like self-promo stuff. It's very much a "pay it forward" mind set over there so, you have to be sharing other people's pins on massive levels before other people start looking at you links.

I also sell my character art on Zazzle... https://www.zazzle.com this makes up the bulk of my income too. (I make several thousand a month here, selling stuff related to my novels - note this is a merch site, you can't post your novels/stories here). I make way more off sales of my art on Yoga pants, postcards, dog bowls, hijabs, prayer matts, fleece blankets, body pillows, and t-shirts, than I make from actual sales of my books and novels. This is why I don't mind putting dozens of my novels up free to read online, because fans fall in love with my characters and than buy the merch with my character art on them. Yoga Pants, Wiccan Altar Table Scarfs, Hijabs, Prayer Rugs, Postcards, Ceramic Christmas Ornaments, Stickers, and Body Pillows with my characters on them are my top sellers. If readers going screaming fangirl over your characters and you are a good enough artist to draw your characters - definitely get your art on merch, because screaming fangirls buying character merch is where the money is. You won't make shit from book sales, but you'll make a killing on body pillow sales.

Interestingly, for all of this, I don't have a Patreon, even though most other web novelists recommend it, so even though most of the "post by chapter places", I could monetize via added Patreon, I don't, the only ones monetized are SmashWords, Amazon, LuLu, and Zazzle where people get physical product they can keep. Everything else I just keep free to read/access/watch. (I don't monetize YouTube or Twitch either; Also my blog and website are not monetized so there are no Google Ads of affiliate links or anything like that.). *Shug.* Don't know why. Just never got around to it. 

So, I wide spread to pretty much everywhere.

Reason?

Years ago (2005) I had everything on just one site (Squidoo and was making around $900 a month there, at the time so felt no reason to post elsewhere) and then one day, (in 2013) the guy who owned the site posted that he was bored with running a website and sold the site. A few weeks later, the new owners, said it was more work than it was worth and they also sold the site. Squidoo was bought by HubPages, and HubPages is almost exclusively non-fiction, so, the entire fiction serials section fizzled and no one got any views or income anymore. All of a sudden I went from $900 a month to ZERO a month, because I had relied full allon just one website to host my work on and that site suddenly no longer existed.

After that I learned my lesson and no longer put all my eggs in one basket, so now I wide spread my options to lost of places, that way if one goes down, like how Squidoo  did all those years ago, I still have the others to fall back on, and can move stuff from the kaputt one to one or more of the other places.

Sure, it's a lot harder to manage having stuff on so many places, but, once bitten twice shy, I learned my lesson and don't put all my faith in a single site anymore. Squidoo was one of the largest site on the internet with 13million writers uploading daily. No one expected it to suddenly shut down, just because the site owner decided he was bored with running it. It made me realize how much we writers depend on the whims of site owners.

For stuff I think would do best trade published I send it out to the appropriate one of the publishers I work with, for the novel in question. The publishers I work with regularly are:

Harlequin https://www.writeforharlequin.com/ or https://harlequin.submittable.com/submit

Baen https://www.baen.com/faq  Manuscript Submission Guidelines

Tor https://www.tor.com/submissions-guidelines/

Scholastic  https://scholastic.force.com/scholasticfaqs/s/article/How-do-I-submit-a-manuscript-for-teaching-ideas

Penguin/Random House http://www.penguinrandomhouse.biz/manuscripts/

Egmont https://www.egmont.com/business-areas/books (side note - this is Disney's publishing house and it's not easy to get accepted by them)

Hachette https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/about/faqs/#submissions

How do I find a publisher?

What I do is: 

*  1 I go to a local bookstore, 

*  2 I go to the section for my genre, 

*  3 I look at which books are closest to same as my MS, 

*  4 I buy the 30 most recently published paperbacks

*  5 I check the copyright pages for the publishing houses adress/website 

*  6 I look them each up in The Writer's Market https://www.amazon.com/Writers-Market-100th-Trusted-Published/dp/0593332032 and read what their submission guidelines are

*  7 I edit my MS to fit the submission guidelines

*  8 I submit the MS to all 30 of those publishing houses, making sure to follow their submission guidelines to the letter (note, most trade publishers require an agent).

Hope that helps! Good luck with your work.


Names.Forums  Community  General  Names.

Names

Names.

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  • Names.#1Welp. I'm back for a bit. The course has been rough, but that hasn't really stopped me from planning your demise- I mean, planning my story!

    Anyways, what are your MC's names, and why were they named that?

    For mine, Arty and Eli are mine. They're short for Arthur and Eliana, and there's absolutely no special meaning behind those names. 

MC: Quaraun The Insane: The Pink Necromancer: The World's Mot Powerful Wizard, The World's Most Evil Wizard - Quaraun is not his birth name. He doesn't know his birth name. When he was 3 years old, his mother was murdered by his father. His father hated him and was going to kill him too, but his uncle handed him to a squid-headed priest and told the priest to take the Elf boy and flee. The priest fled to Persia (from Quebec) and gave the Elf boy a Persian name to help him fit in with the locals. The alien-squid/priest believed the Elf boy to be a prophesied chosen one (he wasn't, but the priest thought he was) so the priest named the Elf boy, Quaraun, which is a real world Medieval Persian name that means "hand of God".

  • The Pink Necromancer - because he is a Necromancer and he always wears pink sequined Las Vegas showgirl style feather dresses.
  • Quaraun the Insane - after his lover BoomFuzzy commits suicide, Quaraun murders his wife and 4 small children to resurrect BoomFuzzy as a Lich. Because he murdered his family, The Justice Mages who hunt him, dubbed him as "Quaraun the Insane" on his wanted posters, and the title stuck.
  • The World's Most Powerful Wizard - he actually is the most powerful mage, so he carries this title, a side effect of his also being possessed by a D'Jinn spirit, that causes every wish he hears to instantly happen, with horribly wrong side effects... one day he wished "everyone would die" and 21-Billion people on 3 planets instantly turned to bone and ash. He's been called The World's Most Powerful Wizard, ever since.
  • The World's Most Evil Wizard - he's not, but people think he is, so that's what they call him

MC's lover: King Gwallmaiic, Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Lich King of Fire Mountain aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn - and he says that entire thing every time he introduces himself, which is about every sentence he says.

  • - Gwallmaiic is his birth name. It's a real world Medieval Welsh name that I saw one day while researching Medieval Welsh stuff and I thought: "Damn! I have to give that name to my Unicorn Lich King!" (who at the time had been just called "Unicorn" and "The Elf Eater" for the first decade or so of publishing the series. He's a Welsh Faerie (A Phooka who takes the form of a Kelpie-like black water unicorn) and I had wanted to give him a real, period Welsh name, but I never found one the felt right for him, so for years he just had the placeholder "Unicorn" in everything and never had a name. He is the King of the Realm of Fae, because he killed and ate all the other Faerie Kings.
  • The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley is his "official title" (this is a series where people like to shout out their long ridiculous titles after their long ridiculous names, every time they walk in the room, so every character has a blankety blank of the blankest blank of blank, type of title after their names.) He is a Phooka, and his cousin is Krampus from the North Pole in Santa's village. He was kicked out of Santa's village because of his habit of drugging the eggnog then eating Santa's Christmas Elves. Thus he was dubbed "The Elf Eater". After fleeing Santa's Village he moved his teleporting gingerbread house to a place called Pepper Valley and set out to eating all the Elves in that region. Thus he became known as The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley.
  • Lich King of Fire Mountain - he's a Lich and his Lich Lair is inside of an enchanted interdimensional volcano named Fire Mountain. The mountain can appear anywhere, and time, any place, just like Castle Ravenloft from 2nd ed ADnD.
  • BoomFuzzy the Unicorn - he actually is a Unicorn and, he shapeshifts into a human form, who lives in a gingerbread house and makes candy that he hands out to the unsuspecting Elf children who he eats. He's the gingerbread chef who built Santa's gingerbread village. BoomFuzzy came from the Seventh Sanctum's Extreme Fantasy Name Generator, I just liked how it sounded when I said it out loud. I just like saying BoomFuzzy, so I added it to Unicorn's already long list of names.

MC's other lover: GhoulSpawn aka The Gremlin - half Elf, half Chaos Demon, this cloven-hoofed, sheep-man, whose more sheep than man, was born to an Elf princess whom had run off with her Chaos Demon lover from the Hell Dimension, who was known by Humans as The Ghoul or The Ghoul King. (Note: Hell in this world is a real place, a planet, that is very close to its sun and the surface of the planet is largely magma rivers. It is inhabited by goat men and sheep men, similar to fauns and satyrs. Humans dubbed it Hell due to it's resemblance to Biblical Hell, but it is not Biblical Hell).

  • GhoulSpawn does not know his real name, as he was born on Hell (the planet) and his Elf mother died shortly after he was born. His Demon father, fearing the baby would also die from Hell's hot atmosphere, returned him back to the Elves on Earth. The Elves, because they loved his mother, kept the boy and raised him, but they dubbed him GhoulSpawn, which literally means "Spawn of the Ghoul King" to never let him forget that he was seen as more Demon then Elf. 
  • Later in life (centuries later in the 1970s, when he is over a thousand years old) GhoulSpawn buys a 1974 AMC Gremlin (car) and discovers the car is a time machine. In the 1980s, he changes his name from GhoulSpawn to Gremlin, naming himself after his car.

MC's rival: HellBorne the Evil, Chaos Dawn-reaper the Cult-killer, Son of the Darkness, Master of the Black Tower aka HellBorne Summoner of Darkness - Quaraun's half-Elf, half-Human son, by a Human prostitute. While Quaraun returns to the brothel every year to give the prostitute money to raise his son, Quaraun takes no part in the half-Elf's life. The child was named Elwin by his mother, a play on the word Elfling. As an adult Elwin grows bitter when he learns that Quaraun had 3 other sons whom lived with him - all 3 of whom are also super villains like their father, Quaraun. Believing the only way to win his father's love is to become the most evil super villain of all time, Elwin renames himself: HellBorne the Evil, Chaos Dawn-reaper the Cult-killer, Son of the Darkness, Master of the Black Tower aka HellBorne Summoner of Darkness quite simple because he concluded it was the most evil sounding name he could think of to call himself, and goes on a killing spree, with his one goal being simply to be so evil, that he becomes more evil then his father "Quaraun The Insane: The Pink Necromancer: The World's Mot Powerful Wizard, The World's Most Evil Wizard".

While Quaraun is himself an evil super villain (as are all the other MCs listed here - the series is told from the PoV of the world's most evil super villains), HellBorne is the series' "antagonist". 

MC's teacher/tutor/mentor: ZooLock the Great, sometimes called The Mighty Zoo - a squid-headed priest from Neptune's Moon, who raises Quaraun. Like BoomFuzzy, the name ZooLock came from the Seventh Sanctum's Extreme Fantasy Name Generator, I just liked how it sounded when I said it out loud. ZooLock is the Cult Leader of the very Lovecraftian Cthulhu style "Cult of The Sacred Pink JellyFish".


AdviceNonhuman characters (self.writing)submitted 10 hours ago * by Curious_Viking89

So the characters in my story are all anthropomorphic wolves. How should I go about letting yhe readers know that?Edit: the wife says to just throw it out in the first paragraph


I wouldn't do it in one place. Like I wouldn't give a paragraph describing them. Instead I would do it throughout the entire book, sprinkled throughout every scene, via dialogue action beat tags.

For example:

In scene 1 of chapter 1, I might say:

"Blah, blah, blah," Wolfie-A1 said to his mate, his yellow eyes gleaming as he spoke.

In scene 2 of chapter 1, I might say:

"Blah, blah, blah," WolfBoy-B2 said, bristling his tail nervously. His nose twitched as he sniffed the air.

In scene 3 of chapter 1, I might say:

"Blah, blah, blah," WolfGirl-C3 said while lazily stretching out her digitigrade hind legs.

In scene 4 of chapter 1, I might say:

"Blah, blah, blah," Wolfy-D4 said. She ignored the others after that and set out to brushing her luxuriant grizzle grey fur.

I'd make sure every conversation, included action beats, which prominently featured a different wold-feature on a different wolf character. That way the reader is constantly "reminded" these are wolves, not humans talking. But on that note, you don't want to come off as actually "reminding" the reader, as that just becomes preachy. You want it to flow smoothly with the rest of the narrative and not break immersion.

In other words, you want to read to actually see the characters doing wolf-things... wagging their tails, baring their teeth, howling in warning, yipping in agreement, padded paws cold on the icy ground, paws tapping their claws nervously or angrily or impotently, yellow eyes that gleam, sparkly, and twinkle.

Also use wolfie words whenever you describe a character doing something. Don't say hair, say fur. Don't say teeth, say fangs.

Describe them doing wolfie things: "she licked his fur with her long sandpapery tongue", "the fur on his back raised in alarm as he heard the other wolfies howling".

But that they are wolf-men, you would mingle in too that they have hands. Show them holding a dog brush and brushing their own fur.

Mention fleas and ticks, and how annoying it is to pluck them out of their fur. Show one of them buy a flea comb from the pet department and combing flea eggs out of the fur on their legs.

The mingled mix of wolfie actions with human actions keeps the reader alert to the fact that these are humanoid wolves.

Also, with the dialogue action beats, you don't want to do it one every line as it becomes hard to read. Only add one or two action beat tags for every 100 to 300 or so words of dialogue.

So, do this:

"Blah, blah, blah," Wolfie-A1 said to his mate.

"Blah, blah, blah," WolfBoy-B2 replied, bristling his tail nervously. His nose twitched as he sniffed the air.

"Blah, blah, blah," Wolfie-A1 pointed out.

"Blah, blah, blah," WolfGirl-C3 added.

"Blah, blah, blah," Wolfie-A1 said.

"Blah, blah, blah," WolfBoy-B2 agreed.

"Blah, blah, blah," Wolfie-A1 called out to Wolfy-D4.

"Blah, blah, blah," Wolfy-D4 said. She ignored the others after that and set out to brushing her luxuriant grizzle grey fur.

Don't do this:

"Blah, blah, blah," Wolfie-A1 said to his mate, his yellow eyes gleaming as he spoke.

"Blah, blah, blah," WolfBoy-B2 said, bristling his tail nervously. His nose twitched as he sniffed the air.

"Blah, blah, blah," WolfGirl-C3 said while lazily stretching out her digitigrade hind legs.

"Blah, blah, blah," Wolfy-D4 said. She ignored the others after that and set out to brushing her luxuriant grizzle grey fur.

Edit: the wife says to just throw it out in the first paragraph

If you just put in in the first paragraph, that's actually really bad for the reader, because the human brain, tends to skim info dumps (and putting it all in one paragraph IS info dumping) and so the redder will likely be 3/4s into the book before they realize the characters are wolves. This is why it's VERY important to be constantly restating and re-stating and re-stating and re-stating over and over and over and over and over again, in every scene, in every chapter, the entire novel, wolf features and wolf actions, if you are not reminding the reader on every page that these are wolves, the read will forget before they reach the end of chapter 1.

This i why you have events like, Hunger Games, where a primary MC was stated in the first chapter TO BE BLACK, and yet never again did the author mention she was black... and when the movie came out, MILLIONS of enraged readers boycotted the movie because the actress was black... all the boycotters stating they had read the books, the character was their fave character, and they were 100% sure she was not black.

If you DO NOT mention wolf features on every page, in every scene, in every dialogue, in every chapter, and just describe it all in one first chapter paragraph... 99.99% of your readers WILL forget your characters are wolves, the exact same way 99.99% of Hunger Games readers, had no clue one of the MCs was black until they saw the black actress in the movie.

Also, if you are dealing with a book, a physical paperback that the reader is holding... it's easy to remember what they read in chapter one, so describing the characters once at the beginning is something you might get away with... if you are dealing with readers who are used to reading on a regular basis... however America has 310 million people and of them only 10,000 people buy 3 or more novels per year.

It's a very low number, and chances are high that those avid readers are not going to buy your book, so you're book will likely be read by someone with very low reading comprehension skills, due to the fact they read on average only 1 novel every 5 to 10 years. And this type of reader WILL skip the infor dump description on the first page and get to the end with 100% ZERO clue your characters are wolves.

However... if you are dealing with a serialized web novel, where you are releasing a chapter a week for years on end... well, now you want to make sure EVERY CHAPTER has wolfie descriptions in both the narrative and the dialogue. Why? Because web novel serials are a different beast than paperbacks and they attract a different type of reading habit.

With a paperback, the reader is going to read the entire novel in 1 or 2 days, 3 days max. It only takes 5 hours to read a single volume of Harry Potter. It's not uncommon for Mystery readers to breeze through 3 full Agatha Christie's is a single day. Paper backs are fast reads, because you sit down with a finished product and read it in one or two sittings. And because of this there is no danger of the reader forgetting who is who or that the characters are wolves, because at the most it's going to be only a time period of 48 hours between them starting the book and finishing it.

Web serials on the other hand, are released in 1k to 5k word chapters about once a week, over a period of 2 or 3 years. And web serial readers, will be reading 10+ web novels in tandem. It becomes easy to forget which web novel had the wolf characters, and which web novel did this, verse which web novel did that. It takes 15 minutes to read a 1k chapter, so they read 10+ chapters a day... one from each web novel they are following. And it's easy for the 10 stories to blend together in the reader's mind. Easy for the reader to confuse your story with another author's story.

And THIS is WHY, making sure the wolfie descriptors, actions, tags, and beats NEED o be sprinkled in every scene of every chapter, if you are dealing with web novels. Because a week between reading the previous chapter, combined with reading lots of chapters from lots of other web novels, means by the time your next chapter is posted, they've forgotten YOUR novel was the one with wolves not the one with Elves or the one with vampires, or whatever else they read that week.

Here's some articles about how to use dialogue tags to convey your character's body to the read, that might help you out:

https://www.scriptsandscribes.com/2012/08/body-language-in-dialogue-scenes/

https://www.bryndonovan.com/2015/04/10/master-list-of-gestures-and-body-language-for-writers/

https://www.reddit.com/r/writing/comments/qzuujw/body_language_outline_a_trick_that_helped_me_a/

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XooPZXK9YKiPRkVnNfJ9CKuW6fpFmkCkvO8P4_UvmMw/edit

https://www.karenrobinsonedits.com/blog/dialogue-tags-and-action-beats


Stereotypes?

Stereotypes?

>>>Hey so I am a writer and I want to write and display a character with Indonesian descent, but I don’t want to come off as racist or stereotypical, or tone-deaf. I am unsure of how to work around this. Grateful for advice :)

Indonesian encoumpases a wide range of cultres including the Jale.

Don't know the Jale?

They live in massive "bird nests" in the tops of huge trees, where they raise their pet pigs and live in families of 30 or more children, per wife, to men with dozens of wives.

The government put up a 12 foot chain link fence topped with barbed wire all around the forest of the Jale, with signs every few feet saying: "warning! do not enter! danger zone! you WILL DIE if you cross this fence"

Four months ago, August 2021, a pair of missionaries, decided to livestream themselves, rowing up river, jumping over the fence and preaching to the Jale.

The livestream is a fascinating thing to watch, if you can stomach it... clips of it went viral on TikTok, and most of it can be found on YouTube and Twitch if you are interesting in watching the Jale skewer the two missionaries on javalines coated with poison frog venom, carry the men to the village, skin them alive, and eat them.

That happened a little over 90 days ago.

Indonesian government issued a statement to the missionaries families stating they had trespassed and crossed the fence at their own risk.

And yet, barely 20 miles away from the Jale tribe are some of the biggest metropolises of Indonesia, where you will find civilization could easily be mistaken for New York City with its bustling streets, skyscrapers, universities, hospitals, businesses, and apartment complexes. Business men jumping in taxi cabs, street vendors selling meals to the lawyers and doctors as they rush to work.

In the highlands you will find gold mining towns, who residents are poor families living in near homeless conditions, their houses made out of cardboard boxes and tarps, their families mining for gold in the hopes of being able to afford a better life.

Beyond that you have the goat and pig farmers, not poor, but not rich either.

Indonesia is a country of vast extremes, with cultures that are among the most diverse on the planet and includes not only one of the world's last headhunter tribes, but also literal cavemen who live along the river and wear nothing but mud, both of which living in site of some of the wealthiest millionaire businessmen on the planet.

To say you want to write an Indonesian character, is like saying you want to throw a pebble in a white rapids river and hope to be able to find it again. There are just too many variances.

What part of Indonesia are they from? Are they black, white, brown, "Polynesian", or "Asian" in appearance? Tall or short? This is a big one... most members of the Jale tribe are under 4 feet tall, many under 3 feet tall... they barely come up to the waist line of the average American and are considered true pygmies, as they do not have the dwarfism deformities like short limbs... if you see a Jale man standing alone, he looks perfectly normal proportioned, but then stand a white man beside him and his head is level with the white man's hips. A short Indonesian of Jale descent is going to be very, very, very short - shorter than the average 10 year old American child.

What religion? Muslim is huge, Christianity is largely seen as "evil white gods who brought the cargo cults" and some areas the government not only has a full on ban of Christianity but being Christian comes with the punishment of being tossed in prison. Voodoo is one of the largest religions in the country, and many practice various forms of Animism and ancestor worship.

Indonesian means a LOT of things and before you can narrow down your character, you first need to narrow down what culture, race, etc in Indonesia they are from.

One of my great-great-grandmothers was a Jale' tribe women who was brought to America as a sex slave in the 1920s, by the way, and is the reason I devoted much of my life to studying the Jale culture, which included becoming penpals with one of the Jale chief's sons - I was unable to actual go into the Jale region to meet them, due to my skin being too light coloured and the Jale chief's son I am in contact with, advice the risk too great even though technically I would be counted as a member of their family/tribe due to my grandmother having been one of them. This is also why the version of Voodoo I practice is not Hatii or New Orleans style, but rather Sepik River Valley style, due to it being passed down by my grandmother, rather than me learning it from local Voodunists (I am a Voodoo Priestess of the Jale tradition, by the way).

This is also why one of my primary main characters (BoomFuzzy) is a tiny black man from the Jale tribe and has a habit of eating people. He's based off of my very real great-great-grandfather.

Outside of the Jale tribe, I can tell you little of Indonesia, as my family heritage is from that tribe and, thus it was my only focus when it came to Indonesia. But that said, I know enough of Indonesia to know that, there are just far too many cultures, too many ethnicities, to many lifestyles, to ask "What is it like to be Indonesian?" You need to pick a region of Indonesia, and ask about that one region's culture.


I’m stuck on naming my chapters

>>>I’m stuck on naming my chapters, I just can’t think of good names for them. How do you guys come up with chapter titles?

> As I said, in the adult market, outside the humor genre, it's pretty rare to have chapter titles, in my experience.

This was my observation as well. 

As a reader, I read 2 to 3 novels every week and have for 50 years, and it's rare for a paperback novel to have anything other than just the number (1, 2, 3, 4) not even say the word Chapter (so NOT Chapter 1, Chapter 2, ec,). I can't recall ever seeing an adult novel that had a chapter title.

Some kids books like, chapter book easy readers for 8 to 10 year olds, have chapter titles, but, that's the only time I can remember seeing them in fiction.

Non-fiction on the other hand almost always has chapter titles (Chapter 1: Getting Started, Chapter 2: Materials You Will Need, Chapter 3: Safety First, etc) because it also has a table of contents, and a reader looking for a specific topic goes to the table of contents and finds the chapter title fitting the topic they need (Chapter 7: How to Change a Tire.... page 54) and can quickly flip to that page.

But fiction doesn't have Table of Contents so has no need for chapter titles either.

As a writer, I've never used a chapter title in any of my trade pubbed or self pubbed books either. Never had a need to.

On the other hand, if you are talking about web serials, like something you'd post a chapter weekly on WattPad or Royal Road or whatever, well, that I think is different. There chapter titles are important, because of how those sites do indexing. Readers looking for something new to read will be searching by keywords and tags and your chapters will show up in the reader's search results because of certain words or phrases in the chapter title. So, if you are dealing with a web serial where you are posting 1 chapter a week for years on end, well, then chapter titles are important to help readers find you, so you need to carefully think about what search terms readers might use to find your serial and creatively weave those terms in and on-topic way, without being spammy, into your chapter titles.

But, otherwise, if you are not dealing with web serials or non-fiction, or children's early reader chapter books, I don't think you really need chapter titles at all.


is it possible to write a story with an permanently weak protagonist?

>>>is it possible to write a story with an permanently weak protagonist?

I think it depends on how you handle writing the character. It could be good or bad. It's all about the execution.

Like for example, my MC, Quaraun, could be seen as a "permanently weak protagonist" depending on how you look at him. 

He was born frail and sickly and remains so his whole life, his hand were crushed under a millstone when he was a child, so his is permanently crippled, unable to use his hands. Later in life, as an adult, he suffers a stab wound which leaves him with a lame leg, and even later in life his suffers serious 3rd degree burns that leaves his face and throat damaged resulting in him being near mute and blind in one eye. The series is set in a time period when he is elderly and contemplating suicide because he has such a difficult time trying to survive one day to the next and has no one to help him.

All of that, would brand him as a "permanently weak protagonist", right?

But here's the thing... we see him push against these difficulties and find solutions and work arounds. We see that because he's been through shit health-wise, he is able to empathise with others through their hardships. We see his poor health, inspire his son to go on to become a surgeon who seeks to prevent the kind of damage that happened to his father. We see, when others are suffering through depression, he's able to become the one they turn to, because he sits and listens.

He is physically very weak, but mentally, emotionally, he is very strong and determined, a direct side effect of having to learn to live with his injuries.

And my readers love him.

So, it's all in how you go about it.

If you make him weak, and do it in a way that the reader can only feel pity for him, well, readers won't stick around.

But if you make him weak, and do it in a way that readers feel inspired by his determination to overcome his odds, well, now readers are rooting for him to keep pushing forward.

A "permanently weak protagonist" can be done good or bad. It's all in how you go about writing his character and personality and how you have him deal with the shit life threw at him.





Do You Start Your Next Draft from Scratch?

>>>Do You Start Your Next Draft from Scratch?

>>>The last two days of writing have been...painful.

>>>I'm starting the second draft of a Non-Fiction book and something doesn't feel right. I spent a lot of time outlining and am trying to follow it. Each of the elements of the outline is something I've written before, in different contexts and for different purposes.

>>>I thought this draft would be more assembly than writing from scratch. But it's not working. I'm expanding the first draft significantly - like 2x - so I need to bolster the arguments with a lot of information. I have all of that in other places but when I try to pull it in...something is just off.

>>>And I feel torn - is the second draft a "cut everything together and edit for continuity later" type of exercise or is it a "forget everything you've written before and start over on a blank page" type of exercise?

>>>What have you tried? What works? What doesn't?

>>>Thanks for your help.

Wow, what you are describing is a dreadfully painful process, one that blocks creativity and wastes huge amounts of valuable writing time.

Just write. It is all you need to do.

Stop over thinking.

Stop worrying about perfection.

Stop fussing about finding the right words.

Just write.

Readers don't care about your outlines matching your end result.

Readers don't care about finding perfect words that feel right.

As a general rule, it takes 4 to 7 years for a book I write to go from 1st draft to the final (7th+) draft that gets published. This is also why I have anything from 15 to 40+ novels being written all at once at any given time. Very assembly-line method, that, is usually deemed far to "business like" for the more lose style hobby writer who isn't publishing 4 to 12 novels a year (I publish 6 novels a year most years - though 52 novels in a year is a thing I did one year, publishing a novel a week - and when I say novel, I mean 120k words or more each, not 50k novellas) like I do.

138 novels published that most people mention - that's JUST ONE SERIES - it's 138 novels in a single series. I write 15 different series (across 15 different pennames), the shortest of which has 26 novels. In a few years, I'll beat Barbara Cartland's world record for the most novels published by a single author, which her record stands at 821 novels published over the course of 80+ years. I will beat her 821 novel record within the next 10 years - I'm that close to it now. So the 138 novels people always talk about with me - that's ONE series, not ALL the novels I've published with Disney, Hatchette, Egmont, Harlequin, and Penguin, which is 300+ trade published novels, in addition to the self published and web serials, that are in addition to the 138 for the one series. 

And that's just novels. I also publish 2 to 3 short stories every single week, and 2 to 3 non-fiction articles of 7k words per article EVERY DAY. I publish on average 2 million words a year. My typing speed with 2 hands in 175 words per minute, but since a stroke in 2010, I have very limited use of my left hand so I now type one handed at a speed of only 91 words per minute. I average 5k words per hour and type 25k words per day most days. In the past 43 years I've published 2,000+ short stories just for one series alone and I write more than 30 short story series, and I've published more than 10k articles just since 2013.

If I did the dilly dallying of what you are describing, I'd never get anything finished.

So, no, I do not waste my time deep focused on perfection of every line, I barely waste time on thinking about what words are in each sentence, I don't waste time with looking for perfect words in thesaurus, I don't waste time on sentence structure, I don't waste time on

Why?

Because time is money, and writing for me is an 80 hour a week full time career.

Writing is a business and I treat it as such. And if I was to waste time dilly dally dawdling over the perfection of getting words just right, I wouldn't be able to pay the bills.

Priorities are what is needed here.

Priorities and self-discipline.

Now, if I was to sit down a rewrite a 2nd draft from scratch, I'd never even come close to the output I put out each year.

What do I do?

I write the first draft, and than I put it away and don't look at it again for at least a year minimum, usually it is 2 to 3 years before I look at it again. By that time, I've completely forgotten what the draft even was, so now I can read it with new eyes, like a reader, reading it for the first time. Seeing it as a reader sees it, I'm now about to go through it and write the 2nd draft, by doing a line by line rewrite of every single sentence, one at a time.

After the 2nd draft, it goes to be edited, and then put away for yet another 2 years. On the now, 4th year since writing the first draft, I read it again, and yet again, see it the way the reader does as it has been so long since I looked at it and by that time I've published another dozen novels, so have had a lot of reading between. I once again do a line by line, rewrite each sentence one at a time. When this is gone, it goes out for editing again. After it returns from editing, I rewrite it one more time, and it now in it's 7th draft, will likely be published without further edits or rewrites.

I have so many novels going at any given time, that every single week, I am spending 3 days writing a 1st draft, followed by 3 days rewriting a draft from 2 to 4 years ago, and that is why I'm working on 30 or more different novels all at once, each and every single month, and why I'm able to publish a book monthly, sometimes weekly.

And I do all of this with ZERO plots or outlines. I ver simply take a writing prompt from r/WritingPrompts and spend the day writing whatever pops into my head upon seeing that prompt. I don't stop writing until I reach 40k words or more, which usually takes 3 days. During the 2nd draft rewrite the 40k will become 80k+ and ad during the 4th draft rewrite the 80k will become 160k (most of my novels average at 158k when published).

I'm able to do this because I'm working with established characters from long running series, with all the world building finished 50 years ago. So it's literally me grabbing a pre-made character, dropping them into a pre-made world, then throwing a Writing Prompt at them and seeing what happens.

Are the books perfect? No. Far from it. Are they seen as badly written, junk food style pulp fiction? Yes. Are they laughed at by 99.99% of the writing community that says we writers are artists who should focus on art and prose? Yes. But guess what? I'm the one with a full time writing income that includes a bestseller that sold 57million copies, and remained the top selling Gay Romance for 2 years in a row, and still to this day remains the top selling Gay Romance novel of all time, with no other novel even coming close to my sales. 

Why?

Because I don't write for art or perfection or fame or money... I write for readers who want and enjoyable fun read, that can keep up the pace of how fast readers read.

Think about it.

Why do I get the big sales and the big awards? It certainly isn't because my writing is good. I get 1star review bombed constantly, with the bulk of reviews outright saying the writing is bad, amature, not perfect prose. And yet I still get the sales. Why? Because I'm there.

And when the reader has to choose between the author who HAS published something this week and the author who has spent 10 years rewriting to perfection and hasn't published something in decades let alone this week, will WHO do you think readers are going to buy? Sure the other guy may have better writing in his 1 book published every 10 years, but I'm the one that's there when the reader is actually feeling the urge to read something this week, so I'm the one they buy, because they don't want to wait 10 years for the other guy to get done perfecting one single paragraph.

You can't sell what you haven't published, and you can't publish what you don't finish writing. It's as simple as that.

Book sales are NOT about good writing, good grammar, good characters, good plots, or even good editing. Book sales are all about being the newest new release, the day the reader feels the itch to buy a new book to read, only that and nothing more.

If the reader's only option is to buy published crap or unpublished perfection, well, which one do you think they are going to buy? The one that's available, of course.

At the end of the day, readers don't care about sentence structure, perfectly places purple $50 words, heck most readers don't even care about spelling or grammar. Readers care about having a character they can fall in love with and an author that can keep pumping out more and more and more and more and more ever endless stories about that one character to feed the screaming fangirl lusts.

When writers stop caring about structure and perfection and start caring about telling a story that readers want to read, that's when a writer will move forward, push through the writer's block and say "fuck you!" to 99.99% of the so called writing advice that gets touted online and don't mean shit.

And YES, this applies to non-fiction too... I published 30+ non-fiction books between 1997 and 2010, using this exact same method, and the shortest of those books was 75k while the longest was 300k, most averaged at 115k And one of those, in 2007, sold 3million copies its first week, and in 2010 was re-released free to read online and as of December 2021, that book a 250k book about an alien abduction hoax and how it was proven to be a huge medical scam that never had anything to do with aliens at all, which is published in its entirety all on one single page of a website, gets over 7 million reads PER DAY.

I feel that far too many writers waste far too much time fussing and worrying about perfecting their books, when should be worrying about finishing their book as quickly as possible, so they can move past it and work on the next one.

And this is WHY I don't rewrite starting from scratch.

In my experience, I find that writers who fuss over a single paragraph or chapter for weeks, is never going to make a full time character od writing, because they don't have enough self confidence to stop second guessing everything they write. They will never see their work as good enough, because they are too busy striving for perfection.

So, just stop worrying about it feeling right. Set a goal to finish editing it by the end of the week, and today id Friday so you have less than 48 hours to do so, and then, either publish it as is or toss it in the trash and write something else. If you are spending too much time perfecting it, believe me, it's not worth publishing. Nothing that a writer obsessively perfects is ever going to meet with the writer's expectations when it comes to how reader's view it.

Too many writers set their bar of standards far too high. They will never reach the standards they set for themselves. And worse, they set those standards high on the false belief that they will get big sales if they write pristine perfection, so they will be mentally devastated after publication and the reality of sales trends hits them.

Most all writers give up on writing, once they learn the harsh reality that prose doesn't matter, plot doesn't matter, grammar doesn't matter, perfection doesn't matter, the ONLY thing that matters is being on the new release list as often as possible. NOTHNG else matters when it comes to getting sales. If you are not publishing 4 or more books per year - fiction or non-fiction, you WILL NOT get big sales or gain a following, and 4 books a year is the low end, you should be striving for 6+ books a year with a monthly or weekly release schedule being the prime target to aim for to earn a full time income.

I had a 7 year hiatus due to the murder of my family April 10, 2015, which resulted in 7 different court cases, police investigates with 21 different police departments across 3 states, and the FBI investigation that is still currently ongoing, which caused me to have no time to write in 7 years.

However, the court cases have closed, the murder case has been listed as closed/cold/unsolved by all but 2 of the police departments and the FBI now, which means I have time to write again. For NaNoWriMo this year, I wrote several novels - 2 each week of November... so far in December 4 of those have been published and 5 more will be published next month. I just wrote and published 9 novels in the space of 3 months, after 7 years of not writing or publishing a thing.

How? By not even doing a 2nd draft.

Yeah. Those novels went out at 1st drafts with base editing and no rewrites.

You don't NEED to waste time. Just write. Let the words flow out of you. Write from your heart. Write from your soul. Forget about outlines and drafts and perfecting structures. Those things do nothing but block up the flow of creativity. 

Just write. It really is all you need to do.


Are there any methods of finding a plot/premise idea you will love? 

>>>DiscussionAre there any methods of finding a plot/premise idea you will love? (self.writing)submitted 6 hours ago by CartoonAwesome08

>>>I've been struggling to find a plot to pair up with a relatively small cast of characters I have. I've been using a lot of plot generators and just finding plot ideas on my own but none of them have really clicked for me. I know that characters are the one that really drive the story but I want to have an interesting plot that matches with those well-crafted characters as well.Any ways to find the perfect plot?

I'm not overly concerned with plots or ideas. I have 3 characters whom I love and so I love to write about them, and I can, do, and will write anything about them and just toss them into every weird ass random plot, idea, or writing prompt that heads my way. If I waited for the perfect plot I'd never get anything written.

What I do is this:

* I never go into a story with a plot in mind. 

* I never know how the story is going to end. 

* I never know how the story will start. 

* I never know what's going to happen in the middle. 

* I plan nothing in terms of story/plot/outline.

* I write a wandering/vagabond/hippie/world globe trotter/backpacker homeless trio of characters. 

* I have a huge backlog of National Geographic magazines, due to being a subscriber for decades.

* My world is our real world, with magical races, magical elements, and magic thrown in.

* I grab a National Geographic issue at random off the shelf, open it to a random page, and whatever is on that page, THAT is the plot for my next story.

* First I'll look at the photo on the page. The photo itself may be all I need. I just start writing what my characters are doing and where they are, based off that photo.

The photo might be a bird standing in a swamp, or a homeless child sleeping on a garbage heap, or a snow covered mountain, or the damage done by a typhoon... it doesn't matter what it is, whatever it is, that's what I start off with.

I start every novel and short story the same way: main character and crew are sitting around talking (usually at a campsite in the forest or at a table in a tavern) and whatever the magazine picture was, that somehow becomes their focus. Maybe one of them hears a bird and they decide to trek to the swamp to look at it, or they look out the window and see a homeless child sleeping in the garbage and decide to bring him inside and buy him a meal, or they see a snow covered mountain in the distance and decide to hike to it, or they have just arrived in a town decimated by a typhoon. And from there, I just start writing at random, letting the character conversation take the lead.

For me, I don't plan or outline at all. I have a set of characters and a world and whenever I get a thought that goes like this: "I wonder what would happen if Character A encountered Monster Z in Location T?" And I write said character traveling to said location and encountering that monster. I'll throw in 2 or 3 other characters to travel with them. I'll drop in a few obstacles like: "What if they stopped at Tavern Y for the night and a random thief stole their money pouch so they can't pay for the room?"

The way I write is VERY much like what happens when you play ttRPGs like Dungeons and Dragons. Where the DM says: "You woke up to find orcs have surrounded your camp. What do you do?" and you and the other players sitting around the table have under a minute to decide what you'll do. Only, instead of telling the DM "My level 34 Elf Wizard knows Orcish and choose to try to talk to the Orc leader. My THACO says I can roll 7d4 and 2d20 on this."... I write down my Elf wizard attempted to talk to the Orc chief and inviting him to sit by the campfire, and end up with a full story out of just that, because once I start writing one thing leads to another and BOOM, next thing I know it's 12 hours later, I've written 7,000 words, and I'm wishing I didn't have to stop for the day to go to bed because I'm fired up to keep writing and find out what's going to happen next.

This probably won't work for everyone, like if you are prone to using outlines and need to know the end before you start, than what I do probably won't work for you. 

Also, the 3 characters I write, I created them and the world they live in 50 years ago, published the first story about them 43 years ago in 1978, and in the 43 years since then, have written double the 138 published novels and 2,000+ published short stories of the series about these 3 characters, which means, I'm not ding this with random characters who's backstories and personalities I don't yet know, and I'm doing it with a world that includes 750+ 3-ring binders of maps and charts of 3 separate solar systems. So this is a HUGELY established set of story elements I'm working with here and it may not work if you don't already have fully fleshed out drop and play characters in a fully fleshed out sandbox world.

So, I would recommend, BEFORE, you tried to do what I do, that you first spend 3 or 4 years doing some heavy duty world building and character fleshing out... I spent 10 years building this world and it's characters BEFORE I started writing the series, so what I do, I've done right since the beginning of writing it at well.

Wither or not this works for you is going to depend on how fleshed out and details your world and characters are before you start writing, and I think, if you were to try this without a fully fleshed out world and characters, you probably would struggle very badly to make this method of plotting work.

Like I said, this style of plotless writing probably won't work for everyone, and it may not work well with every genre. And also, if you were aiming to make a career out of writing, this method is probably the exact opposite of what you should do. It works for me, because I just write for myself and self publish it, and if a few people like it, great, and if it never sells or makes money, well it's no big deal, because I had fun writing it and having fun while I write it is my own goal.

For me, it's fun to write this way, because it let's me do massive amounts of world building, and then just drop my characters into the world and use them as tools to explore every corner of the world. This method would work well for people like myself who spend hours world building and just want to explore the world after building it. But for someone looking to make a serious career of writing serious novels for the mainstream genre market, this method probably wouldn't work well for them.


What do you do when you want to write, but you just have no motivation to do so?

>>>AdviceWhat do you do when you want to write, but you just have no motivation to do so? (self.writing)submitted 3 hours ago by KingBWDee

>>>I have a story that I've been working through very slowly and I always want to add more or rewrite a certain action or scene, but I never actaully do go through with it. I dont know if I'm burnt out or anything like that cause I write ideas every now and then. How do you keep motivation to write?

It depends on the situation/project.

If it has a deadline (like a homework essay for college class or a short story that was already approved for a magazine), I just push through it, motivation or no, and force myself to write.

On the other hand, if it's just a short story or novel, one that has no specific deadline, and I may or may not submit it to be published or may or may not self publish, because I never know until it's done what I'll do with it... well, then I just set it aside for a week or a month, and do something else. Play video games, embroider, jigsaw puzzles, something NOT writing related. Take my mind off writing and do other hobbies. Why? Because sometimes you just need to take a break. Take a weekend or week long vacation from writing, to work on other hobbies. Usually, I find that by doing this, my brain starts to "miss" writing, like feeling "homesick" to get back to writing. And so after the break is over, my motivation has returned and I'm ready to get back to writing again.

Breaks are good. Don't be afraid to take one every now and then. Give your writing brain a chance to rest and relax.

Remember: practice is good, but you can always overdo things. Exercise is good, but not when you do it so much that you collapse from exhaustion.

Think of it like any other job: you go to work 5 days a week, and take 2 days off, because federal law states it's illegal for a company to make it's employees work more than 5 days in a row. Look up labour laws, and you'll learn that federal laws don't allow you to work more than 4 hours without a 20 minute break, or 6 hours without a 45 minute break, or more than 12 hours a day regardless of breaks, or more than 5 days in a row without a 2 day break... a business caught doing that, gets shut down by the federal government for not complying to federal labour laws.

Well, if you take the federal labour laws, and you apply them to your hobbies, including writing, and try doing that, you'll find you burn out less. Write 5 days, take 2 days off. Write 4 hours, take and hour break.

Getting into a daily habit of writing it good and will do wonders for your writing, but remember to think of your physical and mental health as well, and take frequent breaks throughout the day, and a couple of days off every week as well.

Times and days are going to be different for everyone, so test out different schedules until you find one that works for you. Like, some people only write on week days (5 days a week), others only write on weekends (2 days a week)

Also, something that helped me, was to not think in terms of word counts. I used to set goals like "write 1,000 words a day" or "write 5,000 words a day", and then sit frozen unable to even reach 100 words let along 1,000! I tested out "write 3 pages a day" instead, which equals around 1,000 words so is actually the same goal, and that worked better, but still I was having trouble.

After a while (a few years) I realized that the problem was the constantly stopping to check word counts. I'd type a few words than look at the word count, type more words, look at word count again, feel bad that I wasn't going fast enough and get stuck.

And changing to page counts helped some, but now it had me looking at page counts instead of word counts, which was still stressing me out.

Than, I realized, the way to fix it, was to not think in terms of either word counts or page counts, but instead to give myself goals like this: "write one scene about how __ finds a crystal skull" or "write one scene about ___ exploring the cave". Well, suddenly I was pumping out 3,000 to 7,000 words a day. It was so astounding the different changing the goal made.

What changed? Not much. I just was no longer stopping every 2 minutes to look at what my word count was, and was no instead focused on the goal of reaching the end of a scene, and not stopping writing until I reached the end of that scene.

It was nothing more than a change in mindset and focusing on a different goal, but it did wonders for improving my motivation and getting into a more consistent daily writing habit, that actually involved writing instead of fussing over word counts.





>>>Writing smart Indian characters

>>>Hello! I recently reworked a old character, who is now part of the main cast. She’s also Indian. Now my problem is, she’s supposed to be the smart one (she’s always been) she’s very hardworking and is very goal oriented, while her family doesn’t really believe in her(it’s solely due to their unfortunate situation caused by the plot, which would be to much to explain) So, now I know that writing smart Indian characters is a tricky thing, but I didn’t find like specific advice about how you can actually write those characters. So if I was still gonna do it, is there anything I should be mindful of?


>>>>>So, now I know that writing smart Indian characters is a tricky thing


>>>???

I was wondering the same thing. 

>So, now I know that writing smart Indian characters is a tricky thing

Is there some sort of racist belief "all browns are smart" the same way there is a racist belief "all blacks are into sports" or "all whites are from the trailer park" or "only Asians go to Harvard" or "all Italians are gang members" or "all Scots are money grubbers" or "all Irish are drunks"? 

If there is, than you treat it the same way as you treat any racist belief: as a bunk belief not worth the time of day.

As soon as you start labeling a group of people as a one lump they are this colour/race therefore they are always this trait aka all black=_ or all brown=_ or all white=_, you are sliding down a tricky slope of making yourself look like a bigot.

Why?

Because the ONLY reason you would be worrying that readers would think this is because YOU think this. 

Just like how the guy who locks every door and window 10 times each, is the ONLY guy you have to worry about stealing from you... why? Because he is convinced everyone wants to steal from him, because that's what he would do. He ONLY locks everything in sight believe people will steal from him, because stealing from others is what HE HIMSELF DOES do. (I had an uncle who did this. Paranoid that everyone was trying to steal from him, had 10 locks up his front door to keep out thieves, nailed every window shut t keep out thieves... he went to prison after he was caught breaking into houses and stealing tens of thousands in jewelry and electronics and selling them on ebay)

A while back there was a Twitch streamer who all they ever talked about was how they were worried other streamers were doing drugs, that's why they said they would never send money to a streamer, because they claimed the only thing streamers spent donations on was drugs... that streamer a few months ago, was arrested for having a huge stash of cocaine. They ONLY believed every other streamer was spending donations on drugs, because THEY THEMSELVES were spending donations they received on drugs.

Same way, how the people who worry about plagiarism the most - terrified others will steal their ideas, always end up being the ones arrested for plagiarism. They ONLY thoughts others were trying to steal their ideas, because they were stealing everyone else's ideas, and simply assumed everyone thought like them.

This is human nature. You are always the most afraid of other people doing the thing that you yourself are most likely to do. Look it up. There are hundreds of psychology studies into this.

Well, what this means here is simply this:

YOU personally believe that all Indians are smart, so you are worried that others will think this as well.

And yet, I've never heard of the "all Indians are smart" stereotype, so, I would guess it to be a regional belief that for some reason has never appeared in my region, but has appeared in your region.

How to fix the problem?

It's simple: you write people as being people, instead of writing characters as being cardboard cookie cutter stereotypes.

>>>Sorry, I forgot to add that’s it’s due to a stereotype of Indian characters being good at math/science and being nerds, and I’m asking if there’s a way I can make an Indian character smart without falling into those stereotypes.

Yeah, so, you see, I've never seen this stereotype.

I have seen the stereotype that says completely the OPPOSITE, one that states Indians have a borderline mentally retarded level IQ, which is why they are the only country in the world that tosses their dead in the same river they drink out of, and why they let rats poop in their milk before they will drink it, and why they have the world's highest level of incest related birth defeats like babies born with 2 heads of 8 arms and no legs.

So, there you can see 2 very starkly different stereotypes, both pretty extreme, and probably both highly inaccurate.

I'm thinking both stereotypes are likely regional things that are just that: regional beliefs by people who never met a real Indian.

Stereotypes are bad. Be they saying something good (like all Indians are smart nerds) or saying something bad (like saying all Indians are too stupid to know anything about hygiene and cleanliness) because either way, they are painting a large group of people as though they were all one single thing. Just because ONE Indian is smart, doesn't mean they all are. Just because ONE Indian tossed a dead body in the river that provided their drinking water, doesn't mean they all do... though I do question the video footage of thousands of bodies in the river, and video footage of wild dogs roaming the streets carrying arms, legs, and heads they plucked out of said river... that river full of dead bodies in India is bigger evidence to low IQs than any evidence you can find of smart people or nerds, that for sure... you might want to look it up.)

Well, if you wanted to avoid painting every Indian as a high IQ smart nerd, you could always just do a Google search about the news reports about the Ganga River. That will certainly cure you of any stereotypes that all Indians are smart. I struggle to see any intellect, nerdiness, or even a low IQ let alone a high IQ with what's going on at Ganga River this past week. That's a few million people involved in doing it too, so a rather large chuck of the population of India, that, well... do YOU think what is going on at the shores of the Ganga River this week brands "all Indians as smart"?

The problem with stereotypes is, you are painting everyone with one brush, instead of allowing everyone to be individuals. 

I mean, I could easily look at the what is it 100+million people lined up out there along the Ganga River, and say that "all Indians are pretty dumb" and I'd be just as incorrect as anyone who says "all Indians are smart and nerdy". Why? Because not EVERYBODY in India is doing what the people are doing to the Ganga River and just like not EVERY Indian is a Harvard graduate.

There are dumb people and there are smart people in every culture. No culture is all stupid or all intelligent. Every race, every religion, every gender, ever culture, every ethnicity, has good and bad, dumb and smart.

People are people. Go outside and meet a few of them.

What are your hobbies?

Mine include: video games, reading, embroidery, seed-beading, cross-stitch, weaving, cloth doll making, cosplay costume designing/sewing, wig making, jigsaw puzzles, watercolor painting, building art cars and monster trucks, restoring antique autos, hiking/walking with my dog for 2 to 4 hours a day

And I actually do those things more often than writing. Writing is my job. And a job is quite different from a hobby. My hobbies don't involve writing.

My mindset is to NOT write every day, to NOT write when I'm upset, to NOT write when I'm sick, to NOT write when family stuff of going on, to NOT write when feeling burned out, and to NOT be afraid to take a week, a month, or even a year off from writing is I need to.

Also, if my readers paid attention to my characters careers vs my hobbies, they would see that my MC is a silk weaver, embroiderer, and beaderworker, quite simply because those are hobbies I do and know the ins and outs of so I write my MC doing them as his career, because I don't have to research that career due to my already doing it. Same goes for my 2nd MC who collects and restores antique cars and drives and 1974 AMC Gremlin because I collect and restore antiques and I drive not only a 1974 AMC Gremlin but also a 1976 one as well.

So, taking time off of writing to do my hobbies, ends up helping me in the long run to write my characters better too, because it gives me life experience in things other than writing, for me to write my characters doing. I feel like a lot of writers get so hung up on writing that they forget to live life and interact with other people, and I think this to be a major cause of writer's block - they get blocked and can't think of what to write, because they run out of meaningful life experiences to draw from as a source for inspiration.

Get some hobbies. Give your characters the same hobbies YOU do. Not the hobbies you THINK their culture would do. If it's not YOUR culture, than you don't know it well enough to try to pick hobbies from it for your character. But you do know YOUR hobbies, things YOU personally do every day, and you can make your characters very lifelike and believable by making them do things YOU do, make them feel things YOU feel.

Like a few months ago (last summer) someone was asking here about "thug life" and "black street gangs" as they termed it. They was saying they wanted to write a drive by shooting but didn't know what it was like to be black because they were white. Uhm... okay, clearly they did no research, because 63% of all drive by shootings in America are from WHITE gang members, not BLACK gaming members, and the black gang drive by stereotype was actually made popular by 1990s police tv shows and wasn't based on real world crime statistics. If you experience a drive by shooting, the driver, the shooter, and the neighbourhood is more likely to be WHITE then they are to be black. But this person asking this question, only knew about drive bys from the tv show NYPDBlue (they said as much) and they were worried what being white, they wouldn't be able to write a good drive-by scene or accurately show the MC affected by it.

I was reading that thread and thinking: Do your research! Research REAL news reports of REAL drive by shootings and not the "all drive bys are black gangs" stereotype of the 1990s cops shows.

Do you know what would have cured their problem? The exact same thing that will cure YOUR problem: **write what you know**.

Now some people take the advice "write what you know" all wrong, and would say: "I don't know any black gang members!" or "I don't know any smart Indians!"

No, no, no, no, no. You don't need to know THEM... you need to know YOU.

By this i mean... the other question asker, knows what it feels like to be afraid, so they can imagine what it would feel like, to be standing on their lawn when a drive by happens. They could be black, white, a green goblin, or Dr Octopus, it doesn't matter! They KNOW what it is like to feel fear, so they can write what they know, by writing how fear feels to them. They can write how they feel they would feel like if a drive by happened to them in real life. THIS is the beauty of writing what you know. Because everyone feels fear differently, but everyone can relate to feeling fear, because everyone has felt fear, so, it doesn't matter if it's a white author writing a black character, because black or white, you both feel fear, and writing the fear is what is important in that type of scene.

Well, the same thing applies to you here. It doesn't matter if your character is Asian or not. What matters is writing what you know. 

What do you know about smart people? How smart are you? If you are very smart yourself, than you ca easily write a smart character, no matter what race they are, simply by writing her as doing and saying the same things you do and say in your everyday life.

But what if you are not very smart? Well, you can still write what you know. Think about what it'd feel like to you, if you got all As in Science and Math? How would you feel? Write those feelings down. How would you act? Write those actions down.

It's very easy to write what you know.

They KNOW what it is like to feel smart in this area and dumb in that area. Everyone has at least one thing they are good at and smart about. Everyone has at least one thing they are bad at or dumb about. So you KNOW what it feels like to feel proud of the thing you did smartly and you KNOW what it feels like to be ashamed of the thing you did dumbly, so you CAN write both smart and dumb character simply by writing what you know about your own feels.

You can write what you know, by writing how being smart feels to you and how being dumb feels to you. 

You can write how you feel you would feel like if you got into an Ivy League University in real life. 

THIS is the beauty of writing what you know. Because everyone feels smart or dome at some point in their life, so everyone can relate to feeling smart or feeling dumb, because everyone has felt smart at least once or dumb at least once, so, it doesn't matter if it's a white author writing a brown Indian character, because brown or white, you both feel the emotions of pride and shame that come with smart and stupid things you've done in your life, and writing the emotion is what is important in that type of scene.

* Are there smart Asians? Yes. 

* Are there dumb Asians? Yes. 

* Are there average Asians who are neither smart or dumb? Yes.

The question is, which Asians have you personally meet and interacted with in real life? One of only one type, a few of each type, or none of any type because you've never met an Asian at all? Now ask yourself WHY did you pick Indian specifically as a race? 

Here's some more questions to consider:

* Why did you pick the statistically poorest and most uneducated country on the planet, to have your smartest character be from? Look it up... America's $5 an hour minimum wage that can't support a family of 4 for a single year in America, can easily support and entire town of 100+ people for several years in India. They are that poor. 

Smart and nerdy is expensive... where exactly in India is your character from, that she is one of the very small minority who has access to enough money to go to school? Where in India is your nerd, coming up with the exhort ant income required to even buy a single comic book a year?

Did you take this real world statistics about the poorest, most uneducated place in the world, before you decided to make your smartest character come from there?

* Were you even aware that more than 2/3s of India does not have access to electricity, internet, or schools? Did you know that India's homeless population is nearly double the size of the ENTIRE population of all 50 states of America? Did you know that more than 80% of India's population can not read or write, and has no concept of what a school even is and would not know what you were talking about if you asked them was math or science was? Did you know this?

Have you done enough research into the Ganga River crisis in India... a crisis that started in the 1980s and was why Princess Diana and Mother Tereasa spent most of their lives in India on the Gaga River trying to help the people who live there.

And if you don't know what the Ganga River crisis is... don't Google it with out some extreme NSFW blockers turned on... the first images Google will show you are a garbage heap, 5 stories tall, of several tens of thousands of Human bodies, piled up on the beach... bodies that have been piling up on the beach of Ganga River for more then 50 years now, unburied, and are the source of India's current mass Covid crisis. Again... you might want to just look at the news reports from the last 4 or 5 hours, because as of today, the Ganga River crisis just escalated big time, as now MILLIONS of dead bodies are being mass dumped by the government into the river... all of them Covid deaths, with wild rumors running around, that the government is just trying to kill off all the hundreds of millions of homeless who live on the Ganga River, by dumping millions and millions of dead covid bodies on them.

Like I said at the start... nothing will kill your belief that al Indians are smart, faster than looking into what's going on today, Christmas Day 2021, on the banks of the Ganga River.

Where you aware that the Ganga River crisis has been the BIGGEST area of concern for the Indian government for the past 50+ years? And that the government can't afford to put up schools around the country because their primary concern is what to do about the mass millions of bodies floating in the Ganga River for the past 50 years? 

So, I ask again, where exactly in India is your super smart nerdy character from? Because if she's wasting time being nerdy, she's probably an outcast from Indian society, shunned by family and friends, for not devoteing as much of her life as possible to trying to help the mass hoards of sick and dying homeless people of Ganga River regions. 

If she's wasting money on education and nerdy geek stuff, she's going to be hugely ostracised, on the grounds of being arrogant, selfish, uncaring of others... that IS Indian culture...shunning is a big part of family life. Being selfish is culturally frowned upon. Wasting money on yourself to get an education, is seen as a very bad thing.

So the "smart Indian" stereotype, is a hugely false stereotype, when you do actual research into real world Indian culture.

There are very few places in India where your character can even come from, because there are so few places in India which have a school in their region. Have you researched those regions to find out which one she was born in? Because those towns are very small minorities, and people living in them, have more in common with Americans than they do their fellow Indians, and that is something to consider as well.

If you are not writing what you already know, at least research to make sure you actually got it right.








Difference between a YA/NA fantasy and a straight fantasy novel?

>>>Difference between a YA/NA fantasy and a straight fantasy novel?

>>>So I've written a book and I'm very proud of it but I really think that it would be better off if I combined it with book #2 that I've started, as in book #1 gets paired down into "Part One" and book #2 (only a few chapters in at this point) would be "Part Two".

>>>I originally assumed I was writing a New Age fantasy book. The character is young (17 at the start) and the first book (and some of the second) deals a lot with her growth as a person. For simplicity's sake, the later books (the number TBD) would be the rise of her empire.

>>>However NA/YA novels rarely go above 85,000 words. And as this is the first novel I will attempt to publish traditionally (not the first I've written) I'm not going to try to push the envelope by saying "yes I'm a new author and my work is 130k words, what of it?" But that word count would be perfectly acceptable as a fantasy.

>>>So what is the hard line between the two genres? I haven't been using simplistic language and there is not a strong romantic storyline. I may have been writing fantasy this whole time, but TBH I've read a lot more YA fantasy than fantasy.

>>>Bonus: Can anyone recommend high fantasy novels, not YA, with female main characters? Split POV is fine. It can be a male author so long as the FMC is a person and not a caricature.

>>>Tl:dr; What are the differences between a YA/NA fantasy novel and a straight fantasy novel?


>>Difference between a YA/NA fantasy and a straight fantasy novel?

>>>I didn't realize NA was only in romance 

NA was created for one book and one book only: 50 Shades of Grey

**NA is also known as "The 50 Shades KnockOff Genre"**.

Basically to classify as NA you need to be whips, chains, sex dungeons, BDSM... and well, YA is aimed at 12 year olds to 18 year olds... do you REALLY want YOUR 12 year old reading about horse dildos and gang bangs?

I'm surprised so many people think NA is anything even remotely close to YA. YA is Harry Potter and other books for kids. **NA is a sub-genre of the Adult Entertainment Porn industry that is why it is ONLY in the Romance genre**. And yet, the question asking what the difference between YA and NA shows up here a few times a week.

Also, **when NA is in a Fantasy setting, it's called Monster Porn**, and there the top seller is Virginia Wade's little 16 volume ditty called "Cum 4 Bigfoot".

**I really don't think 12 year old YA readers should be reading NA books titled Cum 4 BigFoot, do you?**

How the heck does the genre for Harry Potter and Eragon get confused for being the genre for 50 Shades and Cum 4 Bigfoot so often?

This is very much a case, of you would know what the genre is if you were reading it. And every one who reads NA is fully aware that the genre is full of MPreg (pregnant males), Tentacle Henti, and BDSM Haram gangbangs with billionair shapeshifters. 

Once you actually READ the New Adult (aka ADULT rated X entertainment type of adult) genre, you'll know it's barely fit for over 21 year olds, and no parent in their right mind wants to see it mixed up with the YA stuff their 12 year old reads.

**New Adult was formerly known as X-Rated or NY17 or XXX Genres - all sub genres of Porn and all featured regularly in PlayBoy Magazine**, and New adult is nothing more than a fancy way for people to say they read Porn without their mother finding out.

**Simple way to think of the New Adult genre is this: if Jerry Springer wouldn't feature the couple on his show, then it ain't freaky enough for the NA genre.**

Read a genre before you try calling your book that genre. That's always good advice. You don't want to sell books for 12 year old children in the Porn Department of a bookstore, just because you thought NA was interchangeable with YA now do you?


Where to place the protagonist in an alternate history novel that spans centuries? 

>>>AdviceWhere to place the protagonist in an alternate history novel that spans centuries? (self.writing)submitted 4 hours ago by flying_circuses

>>>I have an idea for a novel where the time frame alternates between the present and a few centuries ago, the latter describes the reason why it is alternative history. Where do I place the protagonist since he/she obviously cannot be in both places? Ideally the story should be told in 1st person, but for above reason that also is tricky. Suggestions welcome.

I do a similar thing. The series I write, could classify as sort of a "family saga", by that I mean, it takes place in the 1400s in one chapter, the 1970s in the next chapter, then 2525 the 3rd chapter, then back to 1400s the 4th chapter, back to 1970s the 5th chapter, back to 2525 the 6th chapter, back to 1400s the 7th chapter, and so on... where you see the original settler who build a manor house, living his life in the 1400s, then in the 1970s, you see how his great-great-grand kids are living their lives, still living in the same manor house, and then in the 2525 future you see yet another generation of very distant great-great-grandkids and their lives, still living in the same manor house.

And so what I do, is I have 3 different separate protags, one for the 1400s (the guy who builds the manor), one for the 1970s (a hippie grandson who inherits the manor), and one from the 2525 future who is the last person in the family to live in the manor before the manor is destroyed in a war.

With the 3 time periods in rotation, the reader sees the 1400s MC doing a thing, then they see the 1970s MC have his life affected because of the thing the 1400s MC did which causes the 1970s MC to do a thing, which in turn will affect the 2525 MC, but none of the 3 MCs is aware that their actions are having long term effects on the future generations, only the reader is aware that the connection it there. Though it reached a point where 2525 MC goes back in time to try to stop 1400s MC and 1970s MC from doing things (because in this world time travel exists in 2525 - otherwise it's our Earth with Earth history, just a time travel future added).

This way the reader gets to see the mutli-PoV of the story, seeing it through the eyes of a protag who lives in each of the 3 time periods.

So, I'm not sure if that sort of set up would work for you or not, because a lot would depend on your genre. Mine is Portal Fantasy so this lay out is pretty standard for how every author writes this genre, due to the time travel element, and so if you were doing something more Historical Fiction slant, well, this set up might not work.

But anyways, yeah, that's how I do it. I have 3 main characters, one from each time period, and each chapter rotates through the time periods, with a different MC each time, and, it's done in a way that it flows naturally through the plot, allowing the reader to be the outside observer of what's going on in 3 different generations of the same family, living in 3 different time periods, but all in the same setting because all 3 time periods are set in the same big manor house.

I suppose, there would be a way to rotate MC PoVs like that for any/every genre, you'd just have to figure out how that sort of thing would fit into the way your plot flows between time periods. So, not sure if this would work for you or not, but that's what worked for me.


Chasing the money or not?

>>>Chasing the money or not?

>>>I always had a gift for writing (though English is not my native language). As a kid, I wrote thousand essays, stories, poems and even a book.

>>>I went through some trauma stuff that I was putting on paper while I was going through it. A couple of weeks ago I felt a sudden urge to share it with the world so that maybe I can help to some people going through same stuff.

>>>I shared the idea with some people close to me and they said that I should make money off it. So basically they want me to word it a bit differently than it actually happened and market it to a specific niche that will pay.

>>>Now, the niche I would write to won't make me money since I never wanted to monetize it from people that are going through it, but if I use the trauma stuff and word it differently (in a way that trauma actually was never real), I would make money of a different niche (trauma free-normal people).

>>>What should I do? I would not even think about the money if I wasn't broke. But I am.

>>I did this and I am now on my third book. I used my trauma and wrote about it and I have made money off it. But this is coming from a person who didn't sugar coat my experience. I felt if I skipped part, it wouldn't allow me to heal completely because I wasn't telling the full truth. 


Same. I write about what happened to my family (my children were murdered) and I don't sugar coat it, I don't pander to the people who can't stomach the reality of what happened to my family, and I rewrite it over and over and over. Several books now. And for the same reason as the above user says: If I left anything out or tried to sugar coat it, I feel like I would be doing my children's memory and injustice. The killers didn't sugar coat how they killed my children, so why should I sugar coat it for readers?

I fully believe survivors should be allowed to write EVERY DETAIL of what happened to them. Don't let people pressure you into changes your book, just because they don't have the balls to stomach your experiences.

I question the motives of anyone telling you to NOT be heard. What was THEIR involvement in the crime? Why are THEY so desperate to silence you? No one who was NOT INVOLVED in the crime, has any reason to try to silence you. Remember that.


Should I Write Pornography to Build Discipline?

>What I came up with: smut. I don’t want to write it, but it’s easy and if you have a feel for rhythm and tension, you could probably write steamy stuff just fine. The point is this, the work isn’t difficult, but it’s a lot to tackle.

There are millions of Erotica authors who would be screaming and ripping there hair out if they read this.

>What I came up with: smut. 

Are you sure you aren't just distracted? NEEDED to watch PornHub for a few hours is quite different than actually making a career of writing Porn.

>I don’t want to write it, 

Why would you even consider writing something you don't what to write?

There are millions of dime a dozen Erotica authors who didn't' want to, and guess what? It shows. Their stories are craptastic garbage they can't even give away for free. Their characters are flat, their plots are dull, and their stories are just sex on the page for the sake of sex on a page. It's boring to read and you can tell they don't read the genre and think smut = endless sex. They don't have a clue what readers want because they are not readers of the genre themselves. They are just scam artist charlatans who think if you put enough sex on the page people will mindlessly throw money at them. They think Erotica readers are just dum, stupid, welfare bum high school dropouts who throw money at every sex object they see. And guess what: readers can see right through that scam. Readers can tell the writer thinks they are too stupid to know good writing. Readers don't like that kind of arrogant holier than thou author who writes sex because sex readers are stupid sheep who'll buy anything. These writers think they can write any shit on the page and get away with it because they think readers of sex are just worthless gutter scum trash. Writers like this are deplorable. We go enough writers like this flooding the industry already, we don't need more.

Look at the top writers in the industry. They LOVE what they do. They have a passion for what they write. They ENJOY what they write. They LOVE the fan base. They are RABID READERS of their genre, not just writers. They love what they do, and it shows. Their work glows with vibrate realistic characters and enticing thought provoking plots, that are driven by far more than just sex slapped on a page. These writers know readers are looking for art. These writers treated their readers with respect. They don't treat their readers like mindless sex crazed sheep who aren't worthy of good quality books. These authors know readers are intelligent people who deserve to be treated as equals and not kicked into the gutter just because they read sex. Writers who treat readers with respect are rare in the smut industry and we need more of them.

>but it’s easy 

And by what logic do you think this?

Go have sex and then describe it. Go on. Try. See what you come up with. Insert A into B and shake with C and get D... blah, blah, blah... dull, dry, boooooOOOOoooring. No one wants to read tab A to slot B sex scenes, but that's what 99.99% of clueless newbs write and than run crying to the Erotica forums all boo-hoo "No one buys my smut, I can't understand why! It's so eaaaasy to write! Look I wrote 5 a day every day this month!" Why? Because you write like a robot without any feelings or emotions, there are no sensory words, no flaming passion, just A + B = C text book sex.

There's a lot more to smut then sex, and there's a lot more to sex scenes than Biology class instructions. Few newbs know that and that's why there is so much utter garbage in the genre.

You want to give your readers mind blowing orgasms, well, first you have to give them a character they feel attracted to, than you have to give that character emotions the reader empathizes with, than you have to build tension with conflict, then you build erotic desires with sensory words, colour psychology, and subliminal messaging. By this point your reader has already had their mind blowing orgasm ad you don't even need to write the sex scene. 

Yeah. You do know that some of the Erotica that is widly regarded as the best smut ever written contains ZERO sex scenes right? If you didn't know that, than you just might be someone who doesn't read Erotica. Smut does not require sex scenes to evoke sexual desires, lustful feelings, and mind blowing orgams in your readers.

But writing sexless Erotica that DOES evoke sexual desires, lustful feelings, and mind blowing orgams in your readers, is not easy to do and is an art that takes years of practice writing hundreds and hundreds d stories before you'll perfect it.

Good smut, like any other genre, isn't a talent that happens over night. It's not easy. And it's emotionally draining.

Smut is not easy to write and anyone who thinks it is has never tried writing it.

The proof of how difficult smut is the write, can be seen in the dung filled heaping piles of crap that readers have to wade through to find the actually GOOD and well written smut.

If smut was easy to write, bad porn wouldn't exist.

Bad Porn is a dime a dozen, and those authors can't give their stuff away from free half the time.

I can sell a short story for $7.99 and a novel for $14.99 (that's how I price my work on Amazon) and people buy it. Why? Because I'm good. I'm damned good. And people are willing to pay for good writing. My readers know I put out quality. I have a whole crew of editors and cover artists that I have on my staff - yes, I have a staff, because this is a full time job for me. I'm not slapping crappy writing, flat characters, unedited text, bad formatting, craptastic covers, up on Kindle and wondering why they don't sell at even .99c. I'm putting out high quality work with pro editing, pro formatting, pro covers, and I spend 2 or 3 years on each novel, rewriting and revising, fleshing out well loved characters and giving them meaningful stories. I couldn't charge the prices I do if it was bad, because no one would buy it if I did.

I'm one of the world's top selling Monster Porn authors for a reason: I take my job very seriously, I love my characters, I love my readers, I respect my readers and think they deserve top quality work, not shittashist dime a dozen crap they can read for free on LitErotica.

Sure, writing crap is easy. Sure writing flat Mary Sues is easy. Sure plotless drivel that is nothing one sex scene after another is easy.

But bad writing is still bad writing and it not only won't sell, it also won't teach you how to improve your writing skills.

Writing crap is easy in EVERY genre.

Writing quality is difficult hard work in EVERY genre, even smut. But ask any smut writer and every one of them will tell you it's the hardest genre they ever tried to write.

>and if you have a feel for rhythm and tension, you could probably write steamy stuff just fine. 

Really? What experience do you have in the adult entertainment industry?

You want to know my job before I was a writer? No. You don't. But there's a reason I write what I write so very well: it's called I write what I know. Do you KNOW the fetishes? As in, has you ever done them, lived them, made a full time career doing them? If you haven't, you'll find those fetishes VERY difficult to write with any level of believably.

Now tell me what you know about subliminal messaging? Did you know some of the words best written Erotica contains ZERO sex scenes? And relies fully on the inclusion of carefully places sensory words, used to trick the reader's brain into trigger certain emotions, causing the reader to THINK they read a sex scene, even though the scene was nothing but a shoe salesman describing a shoe? Can you wield sensory words on that kind of level? Mos people can't and it's a skill that takes even the best writers decades to perfect.

Newsflash: sex does NOT = steamy stuff. That's the tar pit of doom that most newbs in Erotica fall into and never climb back out of.

Sex is dull.

Sex is boring.

You want to read sex, go read a Biology textbook, that's going to be more interesting than 90% of the smut written these days.

And after you've written 10 sex scenes back to back, you'll never want to see anything to do with sex ever again.

Most who jump into writing smut, thinking it's easy, quite in under 6 months, once they are faced with the reality that this is the HARDEST genre to succeed in, because it's the MOST DIFFICULT to write with any level of quality.

Most Erotica writers rely fully on being able to publish no fewer than 3 fully unedited short stories of 10k words each, EVERY WEEK, and burn out after just a few weeks of that grind. 

>The point is this, the work isn’t difficult, 

Yeah, tell that of the millions of smut authors before you who quite after 6 months of weekly releases. The biggest sellers spend years crafting each novel to perfection, that's why they become bestsellers - because they mastered good grammar, good editing, good plots, good characters, and gained a reputation with readers for being one of the few Erotica authors who actually CARES about putting out quality.

>but it’s a lot to tackle.

You can say that again. Are you sure you are even remotely aware of how much it is though?

I write Monster Porn, a genre that most people think of as sex, sex, sex, and more sex, and yet, in 138 novels and 2,000+ short stories published in the genre, I had yet to write a sex scene.

Interestingly, I'm one of the top 3 selling Monster Porn authors and the reason reviewers give for liking mine over the million and one other Monster Porn authors: I focus on character emotions and not sex. They say mine is better because of the LACK of sex, which they say is very difficult to find in the Monster Porn genre. Half my reviews read "Best Erotica I ever read!" in spite of their being no sex, no erotic scenes, no nudity, no sex play, NOTHING that is in any way, shape, or form related to sex at all, ever appears in the stories. And yet "Best Erotica I ever read!" is the most common review I get across all of them.

Why?

Well, one only has to read the reviews to find out. Reviewers are quick to point out they get tired of Monster Porn being endless gratuitous sex for the sake of sexual gratification, and that my 100% sex free Monster Porn is breath of fresh air to them. They say they started reading Monster Porn looking for the sex, sure, but after a while it became monotonous. Flat characters, Mary Sues. Unbelievable situations because all plot points were only there to lead to a sex scene. The major complaint in Monster Porn is that most of it it just standard PornHub sex scenes described, and there is no story. And THIS is where reviewers say mine stands out: Why? Because it's one character, just one... the monster no less (no the Human is NOT the MC in mine, the MONSTER is the MC)... it's one character, with LOTS of stories told about him. Told from his point of view. Told from the point of view of a monster who is sick and tired, fed up with and disgusted with being seen as a sex object. He hates how horney female Humans constantly throw themselves at him. You see the Monster's PoV as he watches sex crazed Humans make fools of themselves chasing after him. This ain't a sex crazed monster chasing innocent woman like you normally see in Monster Porn.

The other trend in Monster Porn is to write lots of stories about lots of MCs. A new MC every story/novella/novel. Even Virginia Wade's Cum 4 Bigfoot, doesn't follow the same MC through the entire 16 volume series. MC Porsche sticks around for the first 3 volumes than, a whole new cast of lost camp girls is brought in... each time, for each volume of the rest of the series. And this is a big complaint readers had with her series and why it abruptly ended after 16 volumes. Readers wanted Porsche back. They wanted to know what her life was like now, was se still popping out Bigfoot babies every spring? What happened with the hunter, were they still trying to chase her cryptiod husband? What happened to the scientists and the animal test labs that were putting mega big prices on Bigfoot's head? The series started out with an amazing story, following the life of a girl kidnapped by Bigfoot, forced to be his wife, becoming the mother of his children, than rescued by big game hunters, only to fight her way back to the forest and duke it out with big-corp pharmacy scientists trying to use Bigfoot DNA to make pills. The story was amazing and contained only 3 sex scenes - one each volume. Than the author switched gears to writing Bigfoot tribes showing up at random each volume and the final 13 volumes were rando Sasquatches having endless rando orgies with endless rando camp girls. And readers didn't care anymore. Readers stopped buying. Why? The beauty of Cum 4 Bigfoot was that it HAD A STORY and DID NOT RELY ON SEX to move the plot. And when the later volumes left story behind in favor of sex, well, readers stopped reading. 

Too many on page sex scenes, adding for no reason other than to fill up pages, killed the the most iconic and beloved Monster Porn franchise the world ever knew. The first 3 volumes of Cum 4 Bigfoot are still major bestsellers today nearly 2 decades after it's release, but the last 13 volumes, rarely get a sale at all. And story vs sex scene is why. The story was so good, and it wasn't flooded with on page sex, then the books were just endless sex with no stories and readers went "eh, I don't like it any more".

There is a lesson to be learned here: sex sells... ONLY to newbie virgins who've never had sex and want to read sex to make up for lost experience. Sex doesn't sell long term. Sex sells to newbie virgins, but those newbie virgins get bored with sex after a few months. So unlike other genres where you gain die-hard fans who read everything you write, in Erotica, you get a new round of new readers every 3 or 4 months, who rabidly read a lot for a few weeks, than decide sex is boring and stop reading sex. It's never long term fan base when you rely on sex to grab readers. Fans reading you today are not the same fans reading you a year from now.

This is something a lot of Erotica authors don't talk about, but they should. You hear so many Erotica authors say they quit because of burnout, but they never say what that means.

For most authors, a returning fan base is what keeps them going. Look at Harry Potter. The readers returned because they loved Harry Potter and wanted to read more stories about him. And JKR ended the series, and wrote 2 other series not related to HP and both flopped big time barely able to sell a copy, so she started writing HP spin off stuff instead, because, her fans were devoted to Harry not Harry's author. JKR COULD have marketed out to find new readers for her new series, but, that's not easy for any author. She learned FAST that fans didn't give a rats ass about her as a writer, they only cared about Harry Potter. Her fans were NOT HERS, they were Harry's and they were not willing to leave Harry behind to follow JKR to a new series about new characters. And try as she did, she just couldn't build a second fan base for her second series. She learned the hard way, fans don't give 2 shits about the author and WILL NOT follow the author to every book they write.

Stephen King is an extreme exception. Stephen King is unique. Stephen King is an author beloved by his fans, because they love the author. So Stephen King's fans follow him to every series, every franchise he writes no matter what it is. And this is a luxury, that Stephen King alone has. JKRowling discovered this when she ended Harry Potter. She thought she was like Stephen King. She thought her fans were fans of HER the author and boy was she wrong. And sooner or later, every author who makes it big is going to be faced with this reality. You either stick to writing one character forever, or you sink to the bottom when you write a new series.

What's this have to do with writing Porn? Erotica author burnout is a thing. Google it. How many Erotica authors churned out 30 to 50 novellas a year for 2 or 3 years only to quit and never write again? Tens of thousands. Start looking for them on Amazon and Smashwords and you'll find them fast. Millions of short Erotica novella, each with an author with a backlog of 100 to 300 all published in 2 or 3 years time. Dead. Sales flat lined, sunk to the bottom.

What happened? It's usually easy to find out, simply by searching the author name and looking for their blog or Twitter and just reading the final posts/tweets now years old... every Erotica author, it's always the same, they ALL say something like: "I can't keep up, the reader shift is too hard, trying to stay on top of market fluctuations is too stressful, Erotica readers don't stick around, I've no die hard fans that come back for more, I'm constantly having to build a new fanbase every 3 months, I can't take this any more, I'm burned out, and I'm sick of writing sex, there are just so many times you can write sex, there are no loyal fans to keep me motivated, I've have it, I quit!"

Thousands upon thousand of Erotica authors end their careers like this, usually less than 2 years after they started. Why?

The fanbase. The bulk of Erotica readers are horney young virgins who stop reading Erotica once they start having sex in real life. They don't remember the author names, they read every sex story they could get their hands on regardless of theme or topic or author. Devotion to no one. Loyal to no author. Fan of no one character. They dumped hundreds of dollars into buying $1 Erotica shorts on Kindle, than they had sex in real life and, stopped reading Erotica.

Unlike Stephen King who has fans who've been reading his work for 40+ years now, no Erotica author is ever going to see a fan after 3 months, 6 months tops if you are lucky. This means Erotica authors can't sit back and wait for sales to roll in on their backlog. They MUST have a new release EVERY WEEK if they want to see new sales.  Miss a single week and they are knocked off the new release list on Amazon and sink fast to the bottom, never to reach the top again. Why? Because no Erotica author has any true fans.

Look up the concept of "100 True Fans" there are lots of articles about how for any business to succeed that business MUST have 100 True Fans who come back every week and buy every product you make. This applies to soda bottlers, silk weavers, watercolour painters, dog groomers, and every other business out there, not just writers. If you do not gain 100 true fans, you'll not survive in your industry no matter what it is.

And THIS is why so many Porn writers quite within 3 years of starting. Because Porn is not a place readers stick around long and so it's next to impossibly to gain those 100 true fans. Porn authors have to be constantly marketing. They never reach a point of having a steady fan base coming back for more, so they can never stop marketing, and the marketing grind in the adult entertainment industry is FIERCE. You are battling it out against millions of Porn writers and Porn videos and trying to gain even one sale is not easy just because there are so many millions of competitors out there.

Well, in the Porn writing industry, you have to be constantly fighting the market, constantly bring in new readers, because reader turn over is HUGE. This means that Porn is the easiest place to get a quick sale, BUT it's the hardest place to gain a fan base or make a full time income. You'll earn one dollar here and one dollar there, because there are millions of stories to choose from.

If you want to rise to the top and do Porn writing full time, you NEED a niche, a niche so obscure, so unique, that you can corner the market on it because you are the ONLY author who writes that niche. That's what I did.

I succeed where many others failed, because I cornered the Brony market before Bronies even existed, and so when Bronies his PornHub looking for My Little Pony Porn, what did they find? Me. And ONLY me. For years, everyone said I was crazy writing Unicorn Porn, there was no market in it, no one wants it. But I kept on writing it. For 20 years, than the early 2000s My Little Pony craze hits and what happens to my 20 years of Unicorn Porn that was the laughing stock of the Erotica industry? It sold 57 million copies in barely a week. Yep, that's the power of cornering a market and being literally the ONLY author of your niche, and doing it for years because you LOVE doing it. 

I didn't write Unicorn Porn to cater to the Bronies because My Little Pony was invented in 1981 and my first Unicorn Porn was published in 1978, and the Bronies didn't exist until 2009. I'd been writing it for nigh on 30 years before the Brony crazy hit, and readers went looking for Unicorn porn to read and found me the only author of it.

You can't do that today though. Thousands of Unicorn Porn authors are out there now, since the Brony craze hit, and none of them can duplicate my success because I didn't follow a trend, I just passionately wrote what I loved and was already there when the fandom rolled in looking for it.

But than, why do my fans stick around and come back for more, while other Porn writers can't keep a fan base longer than the 3 month rotation of constantly shifting fans?

Oh, that's easy to answer. It's all about the sex vs the characters.

**One: I write only one character.** The series of 138 novels and 2,000+ short stories is ALL the exact same MC every time. AND, none of the stories connect or continue. There is no chronology, so you can pick up any story and read it first. The series is not one long continuing story, so you do not have to read multiple books. Each story is a fully complete stand alone story. This means readers get a complete beginning middle and end, without having to wait for the next volume. There are no Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, etc. Each story stands on it's own without you ever needing to read any other story. Same as how the Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys series are written.

**Two: There is no sex.** Yes. You read that correctly. I don't write sex. There are no sex scenes. Let me repeat this: There is no sex. The series of 138 novels and 2,000+ short stories AND there is no sex scenes in any of them. 

I write Porn by the ACTUAL DICTIONARY DEFINITION of the word. "An obsession with a single object;; for example food porn is a collection of photos of food." Contrary to the illiterate sex crazed mentality of how most people use the word porn, the word porn does NOT mean sex, does NOT imply sex, and actually has nothing to do with sex at all. 

This is the difference between writing Porn and writing Erotica.

Erotica requires sex. Porn does not.

Monster Erotica is a sub genre inside of the Monster Porn Genre. Monster Porn is stories about a character who is obsessed with monsters. Monster Erotica is stories about sex with monsters.

And THIS is where I stand out and rise to the top, keeping my fan base coming back for years, while Erotica authors can't hold onto a fan for more than 3 months. You see, while other authors write sex, sex. sex. sx. sex. sex. sex. sex. sex. and more sex. I write the life of one character and never once show him having sex. So while readers get bored with endless sex other Monster Porn authors write, my readers get hung up on the inner emotional turmoil of my monster MC struggling to live in Human society.

Most Monster Porn is under 50 pages long and contains on average 7 sex scenes. That's the standard formula most Monster Porn writers write too. Most are under 10,000 words, max, and fit 7 sex scenes in those 10k words.

My Monster Porn novels are 400 to 500 pages long and 100% sex-free, ZERO sex scenes. My short stories run from 10 pages to 75 pages and again 100% ZERO sex scenes. My shortest novel is 115k the longest 230k and there is sex no where. The short stories are rarely under 35k words most are 60k to 75k words... and yes, I count everything under 75k a short story, not long enough to be called a novel.

The thing of it is, my readers don't get bored from endless mind numbing sex, because there is no sex at all. The characters do have sex, that is understood, but, it's not on page and it's not even faded to black. You'll see characters doting on each other, you'll see characters hug, you'll see characters kiss. Then the next scene is the next day. It didn't even say: "They went to the bedroom", it just abruptly stopped while they were still eating dinner. Moving on to the next event. It's not even implied that sex happened and it is fully left up to the reader to decide if sex occurred somewhere back there or not.

You see the characters living their lives - the monster and the MC, living normal, everyday lives, and that's it. The reader is aware they live together. The reader is aware they sleep together in the same bed. You'll see the bedroom at some point and know it's the only bedroom they have, you'll see there is only one bed, so the reader knows they are sleeping together without explicitly being told this. But these things - the bed, the room - are just there. Sex never happens during the course of the story.

So, yeah, you can describe as little or as much detail of sex as you want, or, just not describe it at all. Ever. Just let the reader put sex into the places the reader THINKS sex should have happened.

And I get mixed reviews because of it too. You'll see a review say "The sex scenes are the best sex I ever read!" and  comment under it raging mad, demanding: "What do you mean? here is no sex in this fucking book!" With the OP replying: "Sure there is, they had sex after dinner, don't you remember?" And the commentator will be: "You're fucking crazy, the scene ended and went to the next day, SEX NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!" and the OP will responded: "Gee, you're right. I just reread it. There isn't a single sex scene in the book. I don't understand, I thought sure there was at least 10 graphically detailed on page sex scenes. I was so sure of it. They were so vivid too! Damn, how did I imagine so much sex in this book when there isn't even a single sex scene?"

Why was so many of my reviewers s certain they read a sex scene when there wasn't once single sex scene in any of the books?

It's called sensory words. I make sure there are no fewer than 50 vivid sensory words on every page, and I fill the scene with heady, seething emotions... it ends up tricking the reader into IMAGINING that sex happened, because they WANTED sex to happen just then. Correctly placed sensory emotion triggering words, goes a long way towards triggering reader imagination and make the reader THINK they read a hot and heavy sex scene, when in fact, it was just their own brain imagining a sex scene because of the subliminal messaging caused by the use of sensory words. My skill at sensory words has readers having orgasms, without them reading any sex scenes at all. And that's why there exists Porn without sex scenes that gets called "The best erotica ever!"

But that's not any easy skill to master. It takes years of researching subliminal messaging, advertising, marketing, colour psychology, word psychology... I went to college to learn this stuff, because I believed in the power of evoking emotions through words. That's why I have a degree in Psychology and Small Business Management. I qualify to open a psychology office and treat people. I have a degree for that. But that's not why I got those 2 degrees. No. I got both of those degrees so that I would have access to studying how the human brain reacts to various words, colours, and phrases. I spent 12 years in college studying that. 

I didn't learn to write this way overnight or by hacking out endless smut.

No.

I learned the actual science behind writing sensory words, in ways so powerful, that I now can write 100% sex free smut and get reviews saying "Best Erotica Ever!".

And guess what else? I publish on average 2million words a year, without ever once describing body parts. I don't describe faces, boobs, vaginas, testicles, penises, nothing. The MC has 12 foot long hair, that's described every chapter.

Why? Because there is absolutely no reason to describe the characters. Their bodies are NOT the story's focus and it does not serve the plot to detail them out.

On the other hand is IS important for the reader to know that the MC has 12 foot long white hair that he won't let anyone touch and keeps hidden under a veil, because eventually the story reaches a point where someone DOES see the hair up close, just before the "hair" is now revealed to not be hair at all, but is actually the tentacles of a Portuguese Man o War JellyFish, and the revelation comes as the character who discovered this is strangled and stung to death by said 12 foot long hair-like tentacles. And at this point the reader now understands WHY this one character and this one character ONLY had a description of what he looked like, and WHY the description focused so much on the hair and not much else. Because his hair turned out to be a pivotal plot point as well as a deadly weapon. The reader also now understands WHY absolute ZERO other characters had any hairstyles described at all. Why? Because not one of them had hair that was important to the plot, so there was no reason to describe them.

Erotica can exists without bouncing boobs or erect penises. Did you even know that?

When you run to write smut, what will you write? 

Who are your characters?

What are their lives like? 

Where do they live?

How do they live?

What are their careers? Pets? Hobbies? Likes? Dislikes?

Who are their friends?

What do they talk about?

What do they feel?

Did you know Erotica, Smut, Porn, are NOT about sex? 

Readers of Erotica, Smut, and Porn, don't want sex. 

They want the Human connection. 

They want feelings. Emotions. Sensations.

And if you were an active reader of good quality Erotica, Smut, and Porn, you'd know that.

The problem is when CHILDREN try to pretend they are adults and THINK they know what Erotica, Smut, and Porn is, and THINK that Erotica, Smut, and Porn are nothing but none stop sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, and more sex.

You can tell the 12 year old pretending to be adults, from the actual adults, by HOW they write Erotica, Smut, and Porn. Children write insert tab A into slot B sex scenes back to back and try to pass it off as Erotica, Smut, and Porn and than they wonder why no one buys it, no one reads it.

Why?

Because they didn't know the audience.

You want to write Slash fiction for 12 year olds, go to FanFiction dot net.

You want to write REAL Smut for REAL adults, try buying some actual Erotica and reading it first. Not the dime a dozen short stories on Kindle, no, REAL Erotica novels, published by REALK publishers - Like Harlequin. Yeah, they publish Erotica. Not just Romance, but Erotica too. Try reading REAL Erotica, written REAL adults, published by REAL publisher. You'll see a difference. You'll see a BIG difference. And then you'll understand what readers of Erotica, Smut, and Porn ACTUALLY want and WHY the millions of Erotica shorts on Kindle, sit unsold.

The millions of unsold Erotica shorts on Kindle, are written by people like you. People who didn't want to write Erotica, but for some reason they got it in their heads that they had to. They didn't know the ACTUAL genre, because they never read it. They INCORRECTLY ASSUMED that it was nothing but back to back sex, so they wrote back to back sex, and were left wondering what they did wrong, why no one wanted to buy what they wrote.

Erotica, Smut, and Porn are classy. Sexy. Sensual. Full of emotion. And more than half of the ones reviewed as high quality and the best ever, don't even contain sex scenes.

What happened? What did the millions of unsold Kindle Erotica shorts author do wrong? They didn't do their research. They ASSUMED Erotica, Smut, and Porn were one thing, not knowing Erotica, Smut, and Porn was something else entirely. They didn't bother to read any professional published Erotica, Smut, and Porn. They thought, they didn't need to. They thought writing sex on the page was enough, was all they had to do.

They existed in a vacuum.

Without reading the pro pubbed Erotic Lit, they were left to imagine what Erotica, Smut, and Porn must be, might be, without ever picking any up to find out what it actually was.

Now we have Amazon flooded with millions of 10 page sex scenes that one is interested in buying or reading, because millions of immature, children, often teens or children themselves, authors who who laughed and mocked readers of Erotica, Smut, and Porn and say "Haha! I can write sex. that's easy! I'll be a millionaire by the end of the week, because to retarded stupid ass rubes will buy anything with sex in it! Haha!"

What happened? The readers were not as retarded or stupid as the would be millionaires of Kindle Erotica thought.

The fact remains the average reader of Erotica, Smut, and Porn are elderly women 70 to 90 years old. Not teenagers. Not college students. Elderly women make up 73% of all the world's readers of Erotica, Smut, and Porn and they have ZERO interest in reading about horeny 18 year olds doing sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, and more sex.

You know what else?

The top selling Erotica, isn't focused on FEMALE characters shaking their boobs around. Nope. The top selling Erotica, Smut, and Porn features MALE main characters.

Yeah.

The most die hard readers of Erotica, Smut, and Porn are NOT teenage boys looking for boobs, they are elderly women looking for middles hot, gorgeous men.

This is called knowing your audience.

Look at 50 Shades of Grey.

Why did it sell so much?

It wasn't because Anna's inner goddess was jumping stars and stripes red white and blue jumping jacks, that's for sure. Every reader of that book would like to strangle Anna's fucking psychotic inner goddess.

No, it was Christian, his grey suits, his grey eyes, his grey hair... Christian was so gorgeous we readers could ignore him throwing bloody tampons across the room.

Readers ignored a lot. Like his abuse, his violence, his temper, his beating up a pregnant women... Christian was a craptastic piece of shit, but he was gorgeous. And full of raw emotion. Sensory details. Subliminal messaging, advertising, marketing, colour psychology, word psychology... all woven into the words describing this horrible man whom no real woman would get near, but the words, were so emotional, so full of passion, that that Book outsold the Bible AND Harry Potter combined.

And yet there is almost no sex in 50 Shades of Grey.

ELJames may have poor skills elsewhere in her writing, but she wrote Christian with such a deep, burning passion, that readers could feel it. She loved the character she wrote. So much so, that she's now published 6 books about him. And she no longer writes the books from Anna's point of view, No. Christian is the main PoV character now, and her fans love that.

And 50 Shades of Grey, a book with almost no sex in it, is 300+ pages of emotional inner turmoil, as the character talks about their life, their hopes, their dreams, and the reader feels empathy, because the reader knows what it is like to be stuck in a dead end job, to be abused as a child by a bastard adult. Readers connect and identify with Anna and Christian both on deep emotional levels.

And all the millions of Kindle Erotica writers who flooded Amazon after the success of 50 Shades, and couldn't sell a single book, and sat there wondering why... maybe they should have tried READING 50 Shades of Grey instead of trying to milk a cash cow, they didn't understand.

For every 100 pages of raw dripping emotion in 50 Shades of Grey, there are only 5 pages of sex scenes.

50 Shades doesn't focus on sex, it focuses on emotion.

And the writers trying to cash in on writing Erotica, missed the boat big time, when they pounded out 10 page shorts full of 7 pages of sex.

No one wanted it.

Why?

People don't read 50 Shades for the sex. They read it for the deep,, dark, depth of emo despair, that the morbidly depressed Christian lives in. Women felt sorry for him, wanted to hug him, comfort him, dry his tears.

The failed Erotica authors of Kindle would have KNOW what ELJames knew, they they, like she, had been avid readers of Erotica, Smut, and Porn. ELJames knew Erotica, Smut, and Porn was about feeling emotion, NOT about writing sex. She didn't exist in a vacuum. She read the genre. She knew the genre. She knew what readers wanted. She knew readers were honery teen boys, but rather mature adult women. She knew readers were not looking for bouncing boobs, erect penises and non-stop sex. She knew older women were the primary readers and they wanted a gorgeous middle aged man, with broken emotions, in need of a shoulder to cry on and mommy figure cougar to tell him everything was okay.

You don't learn skills in a vacuum.

You don't learn genre in a vacuum.

You don't learn what readers want in a vacuum.

You don't learn discipline in a vacuum.

You don't become a better writer in a vacuum.

If you just write and write and write, all you do is teach yourself the skill of writing the same errors over and over. You'll never become better in a self contained vacuum. You NEED training if you are to become good at anything. Not just writing. Anything.

I think lot of smut writers would have a lot less heartache, if they just stepped back and took a reality check before they started. They just don't realize that writing is a JOB and a CAREER and that means, yeah, writing is work and it takes practice and skill to learn and master it, and that's never easy in any career. Yes, even writing smut.

They need to try to look at it like football: the 5 year old tossing a ball around with his daddy in the park is having loads of fun, but he''s ain't going to win the Super Bowl tomorrow. If he wants to win the Super Bowl, he has to spend years, decades, practising, even when it's hard, even when he wants to give up, even though he knows there are millions of other little boys also competing to reach the Super Bowl.

The difference between the boy who never does anything but toss a ball in the park from the boy who grows up to win the Super Bowl, is the same difference between the person who hashes out mindless sex because it's "easy" and Vagina Wade who makes $30k a week off Cum 4 Bigfoot.

You need to have a passion for smut if you want to make a career out of it.

>Should I Write Pornography to Build Discipline?

You know what.

I used to be like you.

I had no discipline to write. I couldn't finish a novel. I suffered from serious "ooooh shiny" syndrome. I had too many story ideas and not enough characters I was in love with. 50 years ago, was, that as a teenager I was like a hyperactive golden retriever trying to chase every squirrel in the park all at once, and ending up catching nothing. Whereas today as an elderly granny, I sit back like an old alley cat watching all the squirrels scamper by, patiently waiting for the one I know I can snag.

I one day realized I couldn't stop starting new things and I never finished them. It was a big problem for me.

I figured out the problem one day: I was trying to write for the market. I wasted time trying to come up with characters and plots that readers would want.

I was looking at writing all wrong.

I was focused on: "What's the trend?" What market sells good? And trying to write to those.

I was trying to write a lot of YA back than, so creating teen characters and trying to write teen plots.

But guess what? I don't read YA. I don't even like YA. But here I was trying to write it because that's what people were saying was hot. I hated this genre, I didn't want to write this genre, but I was trying to force myself to write it anyways because that's what everyone said I SHOULD be writing.

I wasn’t passionate about this idea or that idea, I just felt “Hey, that’s a good idea, readers will like that” but I never felt “OMG! I LOVE this idea!”

And I also I wasn’t passionate about this character or that character, I just felt “Hey, that’s a good character, readers will like this” but I never felt “OMG! I LOVE this character, I’d marry him!”

And that turned out to be the source of my problem.

How did I fix it?

One day I realized I didn’t want to write about rando ass teen characters for rando ass teen story ideas, that’s why I couldn’t finish any of them. Instead, I wanted to write stories about a cartoon character. So, I stopped all of it. I stopped creating new crews of characters and I went off screaming fangirl crazy writing fanfiction about a cartoon character I loved. After each new episode, I wrote a new story based on it. And then one day, the author of the character ended the series, and suddenly I had no more new episodes to write fanfiction for. And after writing lots and lots of short stories about this character, it left me asking, well that’s over, there’s no more episodes for me to write about, now what should I write?

I went back to my old 3-ring binders full of character profiles and just started reading what I had written. Laughing at how foolish most of it was, and noticed a trend:

I like Furries. 

Wait... I like furries? Really? Do I?

Looks up at my racks and racks and racks of My Little Pony and Baeyer Horses and Barbie Horses... no, I don't just like furies... I like unicorns.

Wait... wasn’t the cartoon character I was fanficing a shape shifting dog demon? Yes, he was. He most certainly was. 

Wait, that other guy I like. He’s a wolf shifter. 

Oh, and the eagle shifter. 

But wait, what about those squid headed guys I love in dungeons and dragons? 

And, and... looks at all the jellyfish... blown glass jellyfish, stuffed animal jellyfish, crystal balls with jellyfish inside them... wait... you know really like jellyfish a lot don't I? My whole house is like a jellyfish museum I collect so many of them. 

My brain suddenly went: "I wish there was a story about a jellyfish man. Why isn't there a story about a jellyfish man? I'd read the hell out of that... wait... why don't I write the story I ant to read?"

Damn. 

There it is.

I was trying to write what I SHOULD write because the market said this sells or that sells, but what I REALLY WANTED to write was a jellyfish man.

I love monster men who are half animal. I wish there was a man who was half jellyfish. That was the thought process.

The answer was staring me in the face for years, and I never saw it: the genre didn’t have a name back than when I started writing it, but it does today: Monster Porn. 

So, I took my favourite animals: JellyFish, Eels, Eagles, Unicorns, Cotswold Sheep, Shetland Ponies, and Bobcats, and I created a shifter-man for each one. And for the first time, I was creating character profiles that were actually fleshed out with detailed backstories and not just rando lists of fave colours and fave ice-cream.

Before I knew it, I had a backstory about a water world, whose sun exploded, and the sea creatures had enough time to get on space ships and try to find a new place to live. A crew of JellyFish, Squid, Octopus, Eels, and Cuttlefish landed on Earth, and used magic to shift into Human forms and look for mates. Yeah, it went full on sex with jellyfish tentacle monsters. And I had a blast writing it and OMG! I actually reached the end of a novel, for the first time.

Damn. 

What changed?

It was quite simple: I fell in love with a man who is actually a jellyfish. Yep. There it is. And because I loved that character, I could just write and write and write and write and write, his entire story, without one single rando stray idea popping up and interrupting me. One chapter, two chapters, all the way to the end, without the onslaught of new ideas popping up and getting in the way. Simply because I was so entranced by this guy that I wanted to know how will it end?

It was like I was the reader, reading it, as I wrote it. I had no clue where the story was going to go. What was going to happen. No plan, no plot, no outline. This was all new ground for me. Previously, I plotted and outlined the hell out of ideas. Now, I was typing blind, with no idea what was going to happen or how the story would end.

And the thrill, the amazement, I felt from FINALLY finishing a full novel (it ended at 73k words) was just mind blowing for me.

And here’s where the revelation happened about: I had too many story ideas and not enough characters I was in love with.

When I got to the end of writing this completely bizarre off the wall story of the JellyFish-man, I was sad. OMG! I was so sad. It was over. And I didn’t want it to be. I loved this guy, and I wanted to read another story about him. But I had created him and this was the only story I had written about him, so there were no more stories about him.

If I wanted to read another story about my beloved JellyFish, I was going to have to write it.

And so, I went back to all those novels I had started and never finished, 1 chapter here, 2 chapters there, and read them, this time, with a new eye, this time, asking myself: What would happen if I took my JellyFish man and dropped him into this story idea? Let’s find out. Let’s take this old idea I never finished, and let’s start writing it again, this time, with the JellyFish as the main character. What would HE do in this story?

And what become of that?

In 1978, I published my first novel, and today, 43 years and 138 published novels and 2,000+ short stories about the JellyFish man later, I’m still writing it, and obviously I now finish the stories, otherwise I couldn’t have published 138 novels about this one character. The novels do not continue, there is no Part 1 continues to Part 2 and so on. Each story is full and complete standalone novel that you can read, without reading none of the others.

The solution was: I found my passion. And my passion is that one character. Him and him alone. And I love to write new stories about him. 

>Should I Write Pornography to Build Discipline?

Is pornography your passion? You're ultimate dream job? The thing you'd do even if you never get paid for it?

Than yes.

Write lots of porn.

Why?

Because you are passionate about it.

Because you love it.

Because you couldn't imagine writing anything else.

Because you WANT to write it everyday for years on end and have no desire to write anything else.

If you love it, your discipline to write it is a joy to experience.

If you couldn't imagine writing anything else, your discipline to write it feels fun, not like homework, not a chore.

If you WANT to write it everyday for years on end and have no desire to write anything else, your discipline to write is second nature to you and you don't get bored with doing it.

If you don't LOVE what you write, you'll never become disciplined to write.

The secret to learning writing discipline is to write something you enjoy writing, until the habit of writing because so easy, you can write less fun things easily as well.

I write what I write, because I love what I write.

I didn't gain a discipline to write because I wrote porn.

I gained a discipline to write because I felt empathy to the main character who was trapped on Earth and forced to live in a culture he didn't understand, being sexualised by rape minded Humans who wouldn't stop sexualizing him. I wrote from experience of being an Asian women who used to be a professional Geisha from the time I was 8 years old, with no choice in the matter because my uncles thought "sex sells" and saw nothing wrong with lining up their nieces for the tourists. I got sick on white men pawing at me, got sick of white men calling me exotic, got sick of white men thinking I was nothing but their personal sex toy and as soon as I was an adult and old enough to say fuck you to my child sex trafficking uncles I did. And than I tried to ignore my sex filled childhood and write about normal teens in normal sexless lives and I couldn't do it because I could imagine what that life might be like. So I wrote about an alien monster who was being sexualised and fetishised by men everywhere he went and he hated it. And I empathized so much with his hatred for how sex crazed men treated him, that I fell in love with him, because I understood what it felt like to be seen as beautiful and exotica and only good for sex, and how much I hated men treating my like that my entire childhood.

I wrote a character I could identify with, a character I could put my frustrations into. Like I said, I'm very good at writing the behind the scenes aspect of the sex industry, because I grew up in it. I know the help of being trafficked to adults, from hit having been done to me when I was 8 years old. And I have a rage filled burning passion to scream outrage at the sex trafficking industry. THAT is my passion, and THAT is why I am so disciplined to write this character. Because I am driven by past events in my life.

And you pay attention to the real life childhoods of the biggest sellers in Erotica, we ALL come from that kind of culture. The REASON we succeed in writing smut, is because we know what real world smut lifestyle is. We ain't just hashing rando sex scenes on pages,, we are screaming infernos writing with driven fire. And if you don't have that, you won't make it in this career. THAT is why so many millions of smut writers burn out and quit so fast. Because they lack the soul driving passion to write this stuff.

And here's the reality check you might not be expecting: I'm listed as one of the top 3 highest selling and highest paid Monster Porn authors on the planet... and in 43 years I've not once had my income from Monster Porn reach $5k. Most years Monster Porn brings in around $2k - two thousand dollars a year - that less money in a year than I make each week at my retail job of stocking shelves at Walmart.

Let me repeat this: I'm one of the world's top 3 highest paid Monster Porn authors and my Monster Porn brings in LESS THAN five thousand dollars a year.

There's a reality check for you.

And if you say "What about the one that sold 57 million?" BookBub free days. I never made a penny of them and had to pay BookBub $2k to run the ad, that the download was free the first week of it's release.

In 43 years of writing, I've yet to earn $100k for book sales. Not even close to the millionaire status people usually slap on me.

Think you'll be a millionaire off Erotica, Porn, and Smut? You won't be. That's a huge myth that scam artists like to sell to get you to buy they self help book of "I'll teach you how to be the next Erotica Kindle Millionaire but my 10 page pamphlet for the low price of just $499! Half price it''s usual $999.99 price for the next 24 hours!"

Millions of smut writers, get duped by the Erotica Kindle Millionaire dream only to soon get the harsh slap in the face that that dream is a myth and doesn't exist. Most Erotica writers on Kindle, hash out weekly shorts, by the end of the year, maybe earned enough to buy a cup of coffee and than give up once reality sinks in and they realize smut is so over saturated that even the biggest sellers can't live of their royalties. Sex sells yes, but try doing the math. If a million readers buy one million books from one million authors... at best that's eac author making only one single dollar a year, and sad harsh reality, is that a lot of Erotica authors only dream about the day they make their first dollar. The million dollar industry of sex sells, is flooded with millions of $1 a year incomes. Sure it's a million dollars,, but it's each author earning one dollar each, and newbs don't take that part into consideration.

>If I can pull this off, maybe writing what I want to write will come easier.

Nope.

It won't

You are looking at a genre that is widely regarded at the single most difficult genre to write well. That alone, is going to stunt your path to discipline.

It's hard enough to gain self motivation and discipline in a thing your dislike, why make it even harder on yourself by trying to do it in something even the most disciplined expert writers say they won't try to tackle?

TL;DR: Write what you love, not what you hate.

And when I got done typing this and refreshed the page, I found this had shown up while I was typing...



A womans advice for heterosexual guys wanting to write about boobs (self.writing)submitted 3 hours ago by Haustvind

>>>"His juicy, full testicles jiggled alluringly as he jogged down the street. They stretched the fabric of his clothes, their perkiness straining against their soft, silken, textile prison. He obviously wasn't wearing any underwear, and the soft bouncing of hus huge groin bazonkers caused the conversations of the neighborhood housewives to quiet down as he passed them by with a sexy, winning smile."

>>>That's how you dont write about boobs (unless you're writing erotica I guess. Or satire). I've seen like five different posts, today alone, about if and how you should write about boobs in this day and age of righteous SJW fury. But it's really this easy. Assuming you're a straight male, if replacing whatever word you prefer for boobs with "testicles" does not make you either wildly uncomfortable or makes you want to laugh, then you're probably doing good.

Ah yes! Fabio! I know this novel of which you quote. I have it. 

Here's the full quote for those who never saw it or never read this novel:

>>>I'm now wondering how testicles can be seen as perky.

Me too, but I bet I can find a way for BoomFuzzy to describe Quaraun's testicles as perky. Let's see what novel that shows up in.

Ah well... 2 hours in and now it's gone. Pity. This was one of the best threads on Reddit,but I knew the mods would  take it down, what with the way some of the arguments were going.


Something something don't write about boobs (self.writing)

submitted 2 hours ago by don_h_kowalski

>>>No seriously. They're rough and coarse and getting everywhere!



Why the hell are we talking about writing boobs (self.writing)submitted 51 minutes ago by haydensidunAuthor

>>>I mean, just…why? Just write boobs the way you would write boobs (just like you would write about anything else you don’t have or are unfamiliar with…because you’re a writer and every writer does that to some extent) and then get second opinions when your first drafts are completed.That is all.

There was an earlier, now deleted thread, a writer asking how to describe boobs, and all the other threads popped up right after the first one was deleted... I think they were originally comments they intended to post, but couldn't because the thread was removed, so they each started a new thread, so they could post their comment anyways

I wrote Monster Porn and not once have I ever written about a character’s boobs


Ah yes! Reddit! For those who never experienced a Reddit post going viral before.

Head to the thread on Reddit, it's 600 comments and counting already and it's been less than an hour.

I suppose we should grab some popcorn and wait for the mods to arrive and start deleting the  comment battle going on over there.




Does the hero/heroine have to be attractive to be interesting?

>>>Does the hero/heroine have to be attractive to be interesting?

>>>Does the hero/heroine have to be attractive to be interesting in a romance or a story with a romance angle?

>>>Might seem like a silly question but I'm quite serious.

>>>I'm writing this story involving but not centered on a love triangle and in my mind none of these three people are conventionally attractive in any way.

>>>It doesn't bother me, but I'm worried it might bother the reader.

>>>Do people like reading about attractive protagonists? Would they like the story less if the MCs are not pretty?

>>>Should I make them attractive? Or of they're likeable but not physically attractive would that be enough?

My MC, the title character, Quaraun, and star of 138 novels, that focus primarily on the lover's triangle of him and his 2 lovers, and are borderline Erotica, but...

  • * Quaraun is only 5'6" tall, so shorter than most women and more than a head taller than even the average "short" man


  • * Quaraun has no hands; his hands were cursed when he was a child, he wears enchanted gold hand armor that work like modern day prosthetic hands

  • * Quaraun has no skin on the left side of his face; the incident that took his hands, also took his face; he wears gold rings in his ears and nose, with dozens of gold chains connecting to the two, to hide the scars on his face

  • * Quaraun has *(mutilation Trigger warning & NSFW - don't read if you think it might bother you)* a subincision severed penis, caused by 3 knives having been shoved up in and splitting it in half tip to top he used 58 gold rings to sew it back together and is terrified of it coming apart if he takes the rings off, so he never did take them off and needless to say, sex is nearly impossible for him, he classifies himself as a eunuch and partners go into relationships with him, knowing sex is pretty much never going to happen, which is WHY the series has no sex scenes in it, even though most readers classify it as Erotica; on that note, his primary lover has a scars/mutilation/genital piercing fetish

  • * Quaraun spends more than half the series mute, after his tongue is cut out, and because he has no hands, he also can't use sign language, his ability to communicate is difficult at best, and leads to constant frustration, angry, and violent outbursts

  • * Quaraun is horrifically underweight

  • * Quaraun has a lame leg that he drags when he walks and he walks with a cane

  • * Quaraun has very poor health, is often sick, and suffers from condition that causes him to faint often (as in a few times a day)

  • * he's a beta male who gets pushed around a lot by everyone, and he has post traumatic stress disorder and massive level phobias that take center stage in most volumes, causing him to be seen as somewhat of a whimpering coward/sissy, a far cry from the typical Romance novel hero

  • * he's not in a good relationship, his lover is a drunk abuser who beats him up frequently and uses gaslighting, humiliation, and manipulation to keep him from leaving

He's not pretty, he's badly mutilated. We can go beyond that. He's not your heroic white knight personality either... he's selfish, arrogant, bigoted, racist, snobby, drinks way too much, takes way to many drugs, has a problem with slicing his wrists whenever he gets depressed - which is always, and he murdered his wife and 4 children to be with his lover. 

Also I went a controversial rout by having the MC be a man, and went even further off track the mainroad by having the man be the one who was abused. Most stories have a female MC and if abuse is in the story, the always the man abusing the woman.

So... not your typical Romance hero on any level at all, and while it IS Romance, because the whole thing is the relationship of him and his lover, I'm forced to sell it as either Fantasy or Monster Porn, becausewell, he murdered his wife and children and bookstores just refuse to shelve it in Romance because of that fact alone.

And yet... every volume of the 138 volume series has sold at least 27k copies and one of which sold 57million copies... 

Why? 

Well according to my fans: "he's so broken I want to hug him and fix him and tell him everything's gonna be okay".

I write him in a way that triggers readers to feel a need to comfort him, and because of that, they feel empathy for him. 

Now granted, I am targeting a demographic that wants beta males, and my target readers are older women who want to be a cougar/mommy figure to their lovers. So, I'm targeting a very specific niche of reader, who wants a specific type of male lead, that doesn't fit the chiseled Greek God pretty boy alpha male hero.

Readers want a character they can connect to, and a lot of my readers have told me, they live in real world abusive relationships, and they like that I show it, for the horror it is, and don't glorify it or fetishise it, and they say, reading the abuse he lives with, seeing how he gets his scars, it made them feel a kinship to him, because they saw how he felt trapped because he knows he's with an abuser and he loves the abuser but he's conflicted with wanting to get away for his own health and safety. And readers have told me, they felt that they could actually feel what he was feeling because they had been in real world relationships like that and, they felt drawn to him, because they understood what he was going though.

He didn't have to be pretty or heroic or even be a good person - he murdered his family to be with the abuser - what he NEEDED in order to connect with the readers, was to feel real to them, to go through situations the readers had gone through, 

That's why I say just write what you WANT to write, because, no matter what you write there are going to be people out there who are into that niche.

>>>Does the hero/heroine have to be attractive to be interesting in a romance or a story with a romance angle?

Write a good story, about a character with a personality that readers can fall in love with, and won't care if he's pretty or not. Readers care about the human connection, the character's emotional struggles. They want a character who has been through things they went through and comes out on top, so they can fell inspired to pull through their own struggles. At least, that's what I have found to be true of my own readers and what they want. Readers in other niches maybe they want something different. Who knows?

But then again, that's what niches are for.

Every genre, has dozens of sun-genres, and every sub-genre has dozens of niches, and every niches has dozens of sub-niches.

>>>I'm writing this story involving but not centered on a love triangle and in my mind none of these three people are conventionally attractive in any way.

>>>It doesn't bother me, but I'm worried it might bother the reader.

Well, if a reader IS bothered by it, all that means, is that that particular reader isn't part of your target audience.

As Ricky Nelson said: "You can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself".

For us as writers, that means, we should consider ourselves to be a template for who our target reader is. We should write the characters WE would enjoy reading about. And do so knowing that we are not alone, that there are others like us out there who also want to read that type of character.

>>>Do people like reading about attractive protagonists? Would they like the story less if the MCs are not pretty?

I feel the answer to this is both yes and no.

Yes, there ARE readers who are going to want to read an attractive hero. And nothing wrong with that. Just means they are not part of the reading demographic you want to be targeting when you market your book, that's all.

At the same time, no, not all readers are that way. There are plenty of readers who roll their eyes at the eye-cady pretty boys and want a character with an interesting personality instead.

I say, just write the characters the way you want them to be, and than when it comes time to find readers, target your marketing towards the type of reader looking for the type of character you wrote.

>>>Should I make them attractive? Or of they're likeable but not physically attractive would that be enough?

Breath life and emotion into your characters, give them real imperfections, real flaws, real struggles, imperfections, flaws, and struggles that your readers have gone through and can identify with. 

Because at the end of the day, that's what readers what: a character like themselves, that they identify with, and feel a connection to and because everyone is different, every reader is going to feel connected to different types of characters, so, just write the character you feel drawn to writing.

Be true to you. Let your characters connect to you on a personal level and your readers will feel the same connection to your characters as well.




UPDATE: April 7, 2021: The Art Car Building Streams Are Returning Soon! The Dazzling Razzberry is about to return, as we completely rebuild it on stream

Close-up on The Dazzling Razzberry II's 2.5million marbles and beads
The Dazzling Razzberry, April 7, 2021
Close Up The Dazzling Razzberry Hood - before and after the February 2019 vandalism done by fans of the PsychoBitch 4Chan QAnon Streamer & her simps who did $30,000 in damages to it:
The Dazzling Razzberry 2 aka The Autism Awareness Car, as it looked from May 2012 until it's destruction February 2019
The Dazzling Razzberry, April 7, 2021

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case. If you have information about the April 10, 2015 murder of my family or any of the attacks on our home and relatives, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

The Dazzling Razzberry is back... now all black primer... Repaired, wielded back together, running, licensed, registered, and back on the road again... now primed and ready to be restored.

This car was obliterated by 5 members of the local hate group church New Life Church armed with baseball bats, in February 2019. They did $30,000 in damages, leaving it chop-shopped to pieces, smashed apart, and all of it's 2.5million beads and marbles scraped off.

These local domestic terrorist gay haters, made the claim that both me (a straight biological female) and my car (a fucking CAR) were gay, based on the grounds that I wear pink and my car was pink, and according to the vile hate mongers of this church wearing pink = gay and having a pink car = gay because pink = fucking gay in their mind! They also chatted "Too gay for the family friendly town" while making the claim they were making Maine safe for families to live in by killing gay families!

I'm sorry, but just because YOU don't like a gay family doesn't mean they are NOT still a family.

Your hatred for gay men is deplorable.

You scream What Would Jesus do?... yeah, fucking what WOULD Jesus do? Do you REALLY think Jesus would gather up baseball bats and smash up things belonging to gay men. I'm sorry, did you not READ your Bible? Peter, Jesus' favorite disciple was gay. Did you not know that?

And what the hell? I'm not even gay!

You fucking retards! I was 8 months pregnant when you beat me up with golf clubs and murdered my baby!

Take your fucking hate mongering church and burn in hell where you hypocrites belong.

This car was my daily driver and daily car vlog streams stopped February 2019 because the car was reduced to so many chopped up pieces, that it took up nearly 3 years to wield the pieces back together, and make the car drivable again.

Because it cost $12,000 for the 2.5million marbles that was glued to it, and took me 4 years to hand glue them on one marble at a time, and most of those 2.5million marbles were reduced to shattered powdered glass dust by the vandals, The Dazzling Razzberry will not be returning to it's former shimmering glory.

If you know the Twighlight Manor series and you know Etiole's brother Razzbury that the car was inspired after... know this... we are going Sea Wolf for the rise of The Dazzling Razzberry 3.

Out with the Green Moray Eels and in with the Piranhas

The Autism Awareness Car 3

aka

The Dazzling Razzbury 3

The 3rdpaint job after the 2nd vandalism.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case. If you have information about the April 10, 2015 murder of my family or any of the attacks on our home and relatives, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 




I am so disgusted that I have to add this update...
November 29, 2021

No, I have no updates on Etiole.

He was shot, by a local lunatic.

No, he's not okay.

And I am getting sick of this fucking ass rumour of Etiole being an alien or a demon.

The fact of Etiole being an alien is a stupid urban myth started by some crazy ass locals.

The fact of Etiole being a demon is a stupid urban legend created by some religion crazed nuts.

Etiole is an old man covered with acid burns. His skin is white and face disfigured from acid burns. He's not an alien and he's not a demon. And you people who call him an alien and call him a demon, you're all fucking crazy. 

Etiole is a homeless Jewish man who has no skin because he was tortured in a Nazi concentration camp in France during WW2. He came to Maine in 1953 with a bunch of other refugees, He has post traumatic stress disorder really bad and he's terrified of people. He can't function in normal society, so hides in the forests. He's not an alien, he's not a demon, he's not a cryptid. He's a disfigured old man, now in late 90s. He barely get around. He doesn't you people harassing him like this. Why can't you people leave him alone? Why are you all so damned desperate to believe in aliens or demons that you have to harass a helpless old man? Leave him alone. Why can't you leave him alone? What is wrong with you people?

Read The Amphibious Aliens article, where back in 2007, I DEBUNKED every one of you stupid ass alien, cryptic, demon, and haunted car rumours. Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World's Most Haunted Car, goes over every even from the 1970s, that started the fucking rumour, and lists off how every alien, demon, and haunted car rumour was proven to be nothing but a hoax started by Mervin Bruce Atwater. Every single one of those rumours was started by that one man, and were proven to ALL be hoaxes he perpetrated to try to get money out of Dr Larochelle, the man who hit Mervin's younger sister with a car. They tried to convince the old doctor his car had a demon living in it and they scammed the doctor out of $20,000 back in the 1970s. THAT is how and why the demon car rumour got started. I bought the car in 1975. Etiole started living in it in 1978. And that is how me and Etiole got dragged into the fucking ass rumours about a demon car.

The article Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World's Most Haunted Car DEBUNKS ALL of the alien, cryptid, demon, and haunted car rumours. Every last one of them.

The car is not haunted and Etiole is not a demon.

You people who believe my car is haunted or think that Etiole is a demon, you are all fucking retarded.

You are slandering me!

You are slandering Etiole!

You are slandering my cars!

I'm sick of it!

Grow up and go get a damned fucking brain!

I'm sick of you people harassing me and Etiole over stupid shit started by brain dead idiots.

And the same goes for the so-called World's Most Haunted Car. That rumour was started by the same person. That car was proved years ago, to have a mechanical issue that caused it to start and drive ahead until it hit something. No one ever though to look at the starter. I'm the 3rd owner of the car. I changed the malfunctioning starter and a so called 'haunted" stuff the car did, went away. It was a problem with the starter, only that and nothing more.

And these people in Biddeford right now, getting you all worked up - if you hadn't noticed they ARE Mervin Bruce Atwater's family.

So it's STILL the same one fucking person running around getting things stirred up. The Atwaters. My fucking uncles. Like usual.

Yesterday at Rotary Park, Biddeford, Maine, a group of people armed with rifles, went down the track team trail behind the soccer field and started shooting... scared the crap out of the 50 or so children and their 100+ parents, got the 30+ dogs in the dog park howling... the sky filled with thousands of Canadian geese, and the park goers assumed the group was hunting geese and started commenting on the fact that hunting was not allowed in Rotary Park.

A few minutes later, a grey/white haired, bearded man, who looks a lot like Kenny Rogers, but not as fat, with a black dog of a German Shepard-Lab mix look, and a woman with pageboy greyish-blond hair, both about late 60s, marched up to me in the park, bragged they had killed Etiole, stating that he has caused their son whom they called "Todd" to jump in front of a train 3 days earlier.

They said he was obsessed with the painting of Etiole and the "evil eye" painted on my car. THIS:


You know what, I knew that homeless man and HE never mentioned it. 

You people are just looking for someone to blame, and think because I'm not white, I wear a hijab, and I have a mural painting on my car, you think you are justified on pointing blame at me for something I had no part in.

That homeless man was obsessed with the fact that his dog and son had been taken away from him.

It's NOT the evil eye as they called it. It's The eye of The Grigori Archangels aka The Watchers, from the Apocrypha in the Bible. It's the blue wings of the Seraphim Archangels aka The Watchers. The Watchers are my Guardian angels. I paint them on everything, I sew it on tapestries, it's on my car, my motorhome, I embroider it on pillows and clothes, paint it on mirrors, paint canvases art for art galleries with it. It's the blue eyes wings of the archangels as described in the Bible. I'm not sure why they were calling it the Evil Eye.

It's the Eye of God, the hamsa. A Jewish protection symbol. Etiole's Jewish, he draws it on everything, so that's why I do as well.

I'm sick of you jackasses spreading you wild ass rumours about me.

You're nothing but a bunch of trouble making busy bodies who can't mind your own fucking business.

I'm not bothering a single damned one of you, so why the fuck are you bothering me?

Why can't you stupid ass people leave me alone?

There is no reason for a damned one of you to be in my yard.

There is no reason for a damned one of you to be chasing down Etiole.

There is no reason for a damned one of you to be having psychotic meltdowns over my car!

What is wrong with you people?

Fucking brain dead herd mentality that's all this is.

One of you ran around screaming like a lunatic and rest of you all decided to join in.

But I also ask... WHY would you be scared of me or Etiole? It makes me ask who has been feeding you lies about me? Who has been feeding you lies about Etiole? 

I am a crippled elderly woman. I can barely stand up. I've been paralyzed and bedridden since the golf club attack November 14, 2013. I'm only just now in 2021 just starting to walk again, and I can barely do that. I have no grip strength so I struggle to even hold me cane. The golf clubs damaged my spine, my nerves, most of my organs don't function because of the nerve damage to my spine. I struggle to even breath, just sitting up in bed is enough to collapse my lungs. I have no bladder or bowel movement control, I have to wear diapers. What exactly is it you think I can even do?

And Etiole? The old hermit Nazi concentration camp survivor? He's over 100 years old now, he hasn't been able to walk, or sit up, or eat on his own, in almost 20 years. He's dying. What exactly are you expecting him to do?

Etiole is NOT an alien.

Etiole is not a demon.

I am not a witch.

None of my cars are haunted.

I've been saying it for years. Why won't you listen to me?

You are slandering me!

You are slandering Etiole!

You are slandering my cars!

I'm sick of it!

Grow up and go get a damned fucking brain!

I'm sick of you calling Etiole a demon.

I'm sick of you calling Etiole an alien.

I'm sick of you calling me a witch.

I'm sick of you saying one car after another is haunted.

This whole thing boils down to your fucking white privilege. You know that right?

Your white ass can't stand the fact that we non-white Gypsies live here, so you have to make up stupid ass supernatural spooky shit about us.

You don't like that I wear the traditional dress of my people instead of dressing like an American, so you feel justified in calling me a witch and making up spook occult lies about me.

I wear hijab and veils and caftan and silk and it bother's you that I'm not scum diving in trashy t shirts and jeans like the rest of you.

I paint my cars, same as we painted our wagons and vardos for centuries, and it bothers you because it looks different.

Etiole is a Jew, and your anti-Semite white privilege kicks in to hate him for being born Jewish.

Etiole has scars, so you're scared of him

I'm different.

Etiole's different.

My cars are different.

And when you get right down to it, that's ALL any of this is about.

Me, Etiole, and my cars don't fit in with your fucking ass white privileged ideas of "normal" and that makes you uncomfortable and you try to make the uncomfortable go away by dehumanizing us with your stupid ass rumours.

There are no witches.

There are no aliens.

There are no demons.

There are just a bunch of whinny ass white privileged brats running around making trouble for anyone who's not white enough for them.

Grow the fuck up!

After I stopped going to the Mormon church I started practising New Orleans-style Folk Catholicism. Started using Catholic Bible, wearing Rosary, using saint prayer cards and novae candles. I'm an ordained Voodoo Priestess rank of Medsan Fey. I have been since September 23, 2010. Painting archangel wings on everything is a part of folk Catholicism.

They said he believed the "evil eye" on my car was there specifically to put a curse on him, and that he believed the painting of Etiole was there just so that "Etiole the suicide demon" (as they called him) would be constantly driving by and watching him to drive him to suicide. They outright accused me and Etiole of killing their son, by painting these pictures on my car!

I paint the archangel wings on EVERYTHING and I have for over 20 years now.

Behind them were 4 trucks: 2 black pickups with big oversized wheels, a dark green truck-type SUV, and a rust-orange-copper truck-type SUV. The 2 pickups had young men 30sish driving them, the orange SUV had 2 blonde girls about early 20s both with very long waist length stick straight hair. 

The older couple with the dog, railed on Etiole this and Etiole that, saying the word "Etiole" a few dozen times, while gibbering wild nonsense about Etiole being a suicide demon, and saying that my car had guilt tripped their son into killing himself because he was scared the FBI would put his parents in prison for killing my children April 10, 2015.

The older couple and the black dog got into the dark green SUV and than all 4 trucks, drove circles around my car, revving their engines loud like race cars and squealing their tires, spinning in fast circles around me and my car in the Rotary Park parking lot, while they screamed out the windows of their trucks bragging that they had killed Etiole. The 4 of the trucks then speed out of the park, doing at least 75MPH. I don't know which way they went as I went to go look for Etiole after that.

Etiole has been staying down in that area of the Saco River lately, as the new dam downstream and the recent back to back storms disrupted/flooded the area he was staying down closer to the North Damn Smokestack.

It was why I changed my dog walking habits from walking at Mechanics Park to walking at Rotary Park.

I moved him to a new location away from the local area, out of York County completely. He is refusing to go to a hospital, he's too scared of people to go to a hospital.

I don't know if he'll live.

The attackers was 6 people in total (3 men, 3 women, and 1 dog) in 4 trucks total, I don't know who they were. I've never seen any of them before. I don't know anyone named "Todd" so I don't know who they were talking about either. There may have been another dog or maybe a child, I'm not sure which, but something was moving around in the backseat of the orange SUV.

I don't know who they were. A gang of crazy, deranged psychopaths near as I could tell.

The locals around here are crazy psychotic with demon and witch superstitions, and they love their guns. People shoot at every old woman and disfigured man they see, while screaming witch or demon. It's a really big problem up here in Maine. And when they say "witch" they don't mean like Wicca the religion, they believe witches are a type of female demon. They don't believe witches are Human, so they think it's okay to shoot them because in their minds it's no different than shooting a deer or a duck. 

People around here, they believe I'm not Human, just like they believe Etiole is not Human either. It's why they are so violent towards the both of us. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone in this area who DOES NOT believe I'm a witch aka a female demon. And the locals are just so brain dead in terms if education and illiteracy, that there is no way you can convince them elderly women are NOT demons, no way to convince them disfigured men are NOT demons. The locals are borderline retarded due to crazy amount of incest in this area. 

Biddeford, Maine had the Guinness World Record for the city with the most incest on the planet - the plague is in the town hall - and according to that of the 27k residents in Biddeford, 19k of them are mother/son, father/daughter, or brother/sister married couples. Biddeford residents are excessively proud to have the Guinness World Record for the most incest on the planet. And it shows, with how they march around too illiterate to either read or write, while shooting at elderly women and disfigured men, calling them demons.

This is the shit we have to put up with here in Maine.

I don't know how they knew where Etiole was. I never tell anyone where he is. I never have. I won't. I've protected him from the public since 1978. I know in August there was a homeless man showed up under the trestle bridge at the back train tracks. He found Etiole, started staying down in the ravine with him. That homeless man died earlier this week. I'm left to assume that homeless man had told people about Etiole and where Etiole was. Seeing how the homeless man died a few days ago, I'm left to assume the thug gangsters who shot Etiole were probably relatives of the homeless man. 

He's the only person who knew where Etiole was. Etiole stays hidden during the day. He only comes out at night. He looks for food and supplies, and by morning he's back in his den and won't come out. His dens are so well hidden, no one can ever find them. They look like beaver dams along the water of big piles of leaves in bushes. It's how he's gone since 1953, without hardly any one ever finding him. And he has dens every where along rivers and in swamps, in ravines and bogs, beside streams, all over Maine, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts. He moves locations every 3 or 4 months. He never stays anywhere long. That's why it can be so difficult for me to locate him. Usually when someone finds him, he scatters and goes miles away. He didn't see this homeless man as a threat, so he didn't. Also, Etiole is VERY old now. He's at least 90, possible over 100. He's a survivor of WW2, that was 80 years ago. He's having a hard time getting around the past couple of years.

These people who shot him are just fucking mean, evil, hateful people. That's all they are.

Etiole's never hurt anybody. What the hell's wrong with you people.

He's a hermit. Keeps to himself. He's terrified of people.

You people who run around calling him evil; look in the fucking mirror YOU are the ones who is evil.

You call him a demon, but you're he ones acting demonic.

You people all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

You're all just fucking pieces of shit.

To call someone 'evil' is to, dehumanize them.

And you only dehumanize someone, so you can feel justified in bullying them, beating them, hurting them, killing them. 

You say "evil" and "witch" and "demon" to strip them of humanity so you don't have to feel any guilt or shame or remorse for the crimes you commit.

But a man is still a man, no matter how many times you call him a demon.

You shot a helpless, harmless old man, and you felt it was okay, because before you shot him, you dehumanized him in your own mind by calling him a demon.

You shot a HUMAN not a demon, and you'll burn in Hell for it.

The 4 cars of the 6 shooters, should be pretty easy to identify. None of the cars were new/current/recent models, all with late 1990s/early 2000s vintage. The dark green SUV is VERY old, late 1980s/early 1990s vintage - it might have been a Jeep Cherokee from the shape of it - and it has distinctive damage to the passenger side front fender, which has been replaced and is a different colour than the rest of the car - the repaired fender is a grey-metallic-greenish-sage colour.

The orange SUV was faded very badly. I looks like it used to be bright metallic copper when new, but had faded to a dull dark orangish.

The orange SUV left deep tire treads ditched from it's tires on the green by the soccer field - they messed up the grass of the soccer field pretty bad - it's damaged with deep tire tracks really bad, the park is going to have to do repairs to the grass before anyone can play another sports game - the tire trend ridges will be in the grass for months, so you can get tire prints from a plaster mould quite easy.

Both the SUVs have big, wide-lipped custom black rubber wheel-wells of the fenders - they do not appear to be something original to the cars and look to have been added to make the cars looks "sporty".

The 2 black pick-ups were very distinctive and would be easy to identify again. Both are not full size trucks, but rather the small half-sized pick-up trucks. Both have raised chassis, with the trucks being almost tall enough to require a ladder to get into them. Both had BIG monster truck tires, with "mountain-bike/ATV style" knobby treads on the tires - I don't think the tires on the 2 trucks were street legal, they look like the type you have to take off before going on the road, and put on when you get to off road dirt trails.

I build custom cars, I have for over 40 years now. I notice custom cars and take note of them, every time I see one. All 4 of these were custom cars, and I've never seen any of them in Biddeford, Saco, or Old Orchard Beach before. These are the type of cars I would have noticed where they in daily use around town or sitting in someone's yard. These were very much what most people around here would call "trailer trash hick pimp" cars.

All 4 cars did a lot of damage to to roads and parking lots in the park, because of how they were speeding around 75mph+ and spinning out the cars and digging the tires into the road. The way they were spinning the cars around, the drivers were acting like they were stunk drivers from monster truck rally car shows. It was pretty clear they had driven this sort of spinning circles before... it's not something the average daily driver person would even know how to do. It's the type of driving that takes years of practice and is done in car shows to show off how to spin a car around. The beach lot and the soccer field lot are the 2 parking lots they did the most damage to. The park is going to have to bring in some heavy grading equipment in order to fix the damage - it's REALLY badly damaged by their circle spinning. They did A LOT of damage to Rotary Park, using their cars to vandalize the park.

I do not believe these people were locals. I did not recognize the faces of any of them, nor did I recognize their cars, and when you are dealing with pimped out custom cars, they stick out like a sore thumb. I'm positive if these cars were local, I would have noticed them before now. I did not notice if they had Maine plates or not. They were driving circles, so not an an angle to see the plates 

Seeing how a feud had broken out between the Scottish Travellers and the Irish Travellers (earlier this summer; I'm not sure what started it), and how these cars appear to be from so sort of travelling stunt car type circus, I am assuming that the people driving the cars are Irish Travellers. And in case you forgot, the Atwaters  ARE the Scottish Travellers the group Americans refer to as The Scottish Mafia, even though they are not Mafia, they just act like it. A group calling themselves The Irish Travellers showed up a few days after my mom's car was smashed up by a 2x4 a few months ago. If they are Gypsy cars, which it looked like they were, chances are high that they are not registered, not licensed, and not inspected, as very few Gypsies do anything that requires government documentation.

I don't know what kind of shit the Atwaters has gotten themselves into, but she has a very bad history of crossing huge enemy lines with criminal thugs. She's done it several times in the past. She has a big problem with getting in their faces and then bragging that EelKat (me) is a witch that'll cast death curses on them, then they brags I've got a demon familiar that'll kill them. They does this same thing over and over every couple of years, for 5 decades now. It always results in the gang of THEIR thugs showing up and attacking me an or Etiole. And they always arrive thinking that I know who they are or what they are talking about, but I never know who they are or what they are going on about, because I disowned the Atwaters decades ago and I don't have anything to do with them. They beat me up assuming that the Atwaters hired me to kill them, because that's what my mother tells them she did. She is always running around telling people I'm a witch and Etiole's a demon and using the threat that the Atwaters going to hire me to kill whoever it is they are fighting with that time. And they keep doing it. 

I have asked them to stop so many times now. I don't know how the hell to convince them that I am not a witch. I don't know how to convince them Etiole is not a demon. I don't know how to get them to stop bragging that they're hiring me and Etiole to cast death spells and kill everyone they hate.

One of the witnesses said they thought they'd seen the cars before in Pine Point, but that's VERY local, my farm is right on the line and I walk Pine Point as much as Old Orchard, Saco, and Biddeford, I feel like if they were from Pine Point I would have seen them before.

Also... who the hell is Todd?

These people were all upset, saying that I sent suicide demons to kill Todd, and I have no clue who this Todd even is!

And what the hell is a suicide demon? These people are fucking crazy.

I wish the Atwaters would mind their own damned business and leave my name out the shit they gets themselves into. 

Every few months, for the past few decades, me and Etiole keep getting beat up by jackass thugs because of the Atwaters's damned fucking mouths. And I'm sick of it!

My children where murdered - 10 children the young ages 4 the oldest age 16, had there heads nailed to my door, and do you know what the FBI agent on the case said to me? He said their primary suspect, is a man that was having a fight with the Atwaters over a septic tank. They think he killed my family to spite the Atwaters after they threatened to have me send death curses on him over a septic tank. That's what the FBI thinks is the reason my family was murdered: because the Atwaters did their stupid ass slandering me and calling me a witch again, like they always do. Plus, the FBI agent said, that the Atwaters because on April 10, 2015, my motor home was parked in the Atwaters's driveway, the agent said, they believe, my family wasn't even the intended target. He says, he believes, they thought it was the Atwaters's motor home and the Atwaters's children they were killing, because my motor home was parked in their driveway at the time it happened.

According to the FBI all the evidence suggests my family is dead because the Atwaters was arguing with some construction worker over a septic tank, and he attacked the children that where in the motor home in their yard, assuming it was their children in they motor home, not realizing it was my children in my motor home.

Do you remember the woman with the shopping cart, June 2016? The one that put me in a wheelchair after trying to kill me with a fucking shopping cart? The FBI, thinks she's the wife of the septic tank construction worker, and they think she attacked because the Atwaters a few weeks earlier had bragged that they was going to have me send Etiole to kill the blond shopping cart wielding woman's husband.

You remember that Kendra women who showed up at every store and restaurant I went to from 2006 to 2016? Do you know what the FBI found out? She was a friend of the Atwaters's on FB, Twitter, and Pinterest and every time she showed up, including the golf club attack November 14, 2013 when I was 8 months pregnant and she killed my baby and left me paralyzed with a broken spine... the FBI found out that the day before EVERY Kendra attack, her and the Atwaters had an argument on social media that included the Atwaters bragging that I was a witch and Etiole was a demon and threatening to send us after her ... and that was Etiole's baby she killed by the way. Ben's adamant that it wasn't his, neither would be tested to find out, but there's no one else, and if Ben says it's not his, will that just leaves Etiole, and he can't talk. Prior to that I've had 7 miscarriages, Ben denies all of them, Etiole can't talk so he can't deny anything. They are the only 2 men in my life, so take your pick which one the father is. The ten beheaded children - they were fosters. I was their foster mother.

And this attack this week, these people screaming "suicide demon" at me, my car and Etiole... why are they doing it?

A homeless man was hit by a train this week, and they are blaming me, my car, and Etiole, saying that the painting on my car is sending suicide brainwaves out. They are fucking crazy.

I knew that homeless man. The one who got hit by a train. He was my friend. I met him in August 2021. He never told me his name.

As for the homeless man who was killed by the train this week... if he IS your Todd, you people treated him like shit. I've been out there with him every day from August til the day he died and I saw the shit to people did to him. You didn't give a shit about him. You bullied him. You teased him. You destroyed his tent. You smashed up his food. You cut up his clothes. You people pushed him around laughing and left him in tears every single night. You people ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Every one in the Cutts Street area ought to be ashamed of what you ALL did that man. 

And you have the gall to attack me, my car, my friend?

Why?

I'm the ONLY one who was there helping him.

I'm a Mormon. It's what we Mormons do. When we see people in need, we Mormons help them. We Mormons live by Christ's example. We treat others as we would like to be treated ourselves, that is why we Mormons are always kind to people. 

You people attacking me - you're the exact same people who was out there attacking him.

He had at least 7 campsites set up along both tracks. You have to get close to the train to get to any of them. But be careful if you want to go look at the remains of his worldly possessions, a train comes through every 20 to 40 minutes, it takes 18 minutes to walk to his campsite, and the train is going 120MPH on that stretch.

One campsite he had a fire pit dug out, with some rocks laid up beside it. He cooked and ate there, what few times he had food, though he didn't have food every day.

Not far from that campsite he had a 5 gallon bucket set up in the bushes to make a makeshift outhouse toilet. That one is right near where he died.

There were multiple places where he moved his little yellow tent to. He moved it every few days.

There's 2 campsites where he stashed bags of cans and bottles he collected on the side of the road. At one point he found a shopping cart and was using that to move stuff from one campsite to another.

There's 2 buildings, one a storage unit the other a factory, that he used to sneak into on raining nights, to sleep outside of the rain. Police took to parking at both buildings and chasing him out every time they saw him.

He showed up in August, and originally kept everything he owned all together in one location. It was clear he'd never been homeless before, and didn't know unwise that was. He learned fast how house dwellers treat the homeless though, and quickly took to dividing his things across lots of locations so that if one site got destroyed by haters, he wouldn't lose everything he owned.

Most of the summer he had the tent, but 2 weeks ago, right when the cold got here, someone sliced it to ribbons with a knife or scissors. I assumed it was the woman who harassed him every time. Whoever she was, she really hated him. He didn't have anyplace to sleep after that and that's when he started walking on the tracked, just stand in the track, going back and forth in circles, for hours on end.

I walk my dog 3 to 4 times a day through this area, so I saw him several times a day. He always stopped to talk to my dog and say that his dog was recently taken away and he missed his dog and his son.

Almost every night, a gang of thugs would arrive to harass him. Usually 4, sometimes 5 or more people. Usually 2 girls and 2 guys, in their 20s to 30s. They knew him somehow and boy did they hate him. They were the ones trashing his things. They'd arrive and yell and bully him. Sometimes the two guys were riding bicycles and would drive circles around him yelling at him. He was being harassed REALLY bad.

Originally, when he showed up, he had a bag of clothes, so he was changing his clothes daily. But one day someone cut up his clothes into thousands of tiny pieces and threw them out into the street, so after that he only had the one outfit he was wearing, and nothing else to change into, so he didn't change his cloths for 3 months.

He used to hide food in the bushes, so he could come back later to eat it, but the bully gang would search the bushed looking for his things, deliberately trying to find his stuff, and whenever they found his food stashes, they would stand on the sidewalk near the big black storage unit and throw the food into the road in front of oncoming cars.

The people who were harassing him were really mean to him and going out of their way to be as evil as possible to him. They hated him really bad and very clearly had a personal vendetta against him. I got the impression that the girl who was the ringleader, from the way she was always yelling at him, that she was probably an old girlfriend and that the others were he clique of yes-men-friends.

Police were out there every day.

The girl and her group would bully him, and he'd try to run away, than she'd call the police and say he was harassing her. Then her and her friends would run down the road giggling and hide in the bushes to watch the police show up and look for him. The police were constantly stopping to talk to me to ask if I had seen what happened.

The police would show up nightly, usually to chase him out of sleeping behind houses. He had a really hard time finding a place to sleep, where people didn't call the police on him, that's why he started climbing down into the ravine at night, to hide down there and try to sleep. But the Saco River water is cold and the temps in the ravine were below 30f even when the rest of town wa still at 50f. It's not a good place to try to sleep, but it's the only place he was able to find where people didn't chase him out.

There are 3 ravines. He went back and forth between all 3 of them.

He went up to Rotary Park a lot too. He would sit at that ravine and watch the geese. There is a flock of Canadian Geese that live there, and a beaver damn. Me and my dog climbed down in there almost every day, because there is a flat place where you can sit beside the river to meditate. During that last couple of days, he took to pacing there by the beaver damn frantically. He was very upset. Lost in his thoughts, oblivious to the world around him. You could see something was really wrong by that point.

He probably had more places I didn't know about. He stayed up here at night, so it was mostly early morning/sunrise, and late evening/sunset, and after dark, that I would see him.

He headed towards the library direction in the daytime.

We saw him most every morning around 5 to 6 AM. He often walked with us in the morning. 

We saw him again most every night between 10PM and 1AM, and again, he often walked with us.

He rarely said anything. Was very quiet, very silent. You could see he was deeply upset.

It was after his tent got slashed and then that same week, the temps dropped to 20f at night with freezing rain, that he got very upset, very agitated, and took to pacing on the train tracks in a frantic, obsessed manner, while talking to himself very fast and very hyper and no longer seeing anything going on around him.

He was very upset over the tent being destroyed. He no money to buy another one. And winter was coming. He was terrified he'd freeze to death out there under the trestle train bridge over the ravine.

Each night it grew colder and with the growing cold, his franticness grew worse. And the bullies kept showing up and harassing him, teasing him, laughing at him.

He was going through absolute hell and he kept saying no one in his family cared. Kept saying, he kept begging them to let him come in out of the cold and they laughed in his face and told him to grow up and be a man. He said no one loved him and no one cared if he froze to death out there.

6:27 PM on the 19th of November - he was hit by a train.

Some people are saying he jumped.

Other people are saying the gang that was bullying him, pushed him.

I don't know which it was.

All I know is he is now dead, and I never even knew his name. He was a just a homeless man who needed a friend and so he walked with me most every night for the past 3 months. He didn't have any one else. No one loved him. No one cared what he was going through. And he was treated like shit, just because he was homeless.

A homeless man is still a man, and everyone in this fucking town ought to be ashamed of how deplorably they treated that man every day for the past 3 months, he was bullied and teased and pushed around, what little he owned destroyed while the bullies laughed as the they through his belongings in the road in front of cars.

The people around here treated that man deplorably.

You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

However that homeless man died, wither he jumped or wither those bullies pushed him - either way it was those bullies who killed him.

No one should ever be treated so deplorably, that they lose the will to live, and that's what those bullies did to him. They made him lose his will to live.

This could have been avoided, this poor homeless man was bullied to death, and you people who bullied him, there's a special place in hell for dip-shits like you.

Was he murdered?

Was it a suicide?

Who knows?

I don't know.

I just know there are a lot of people saying a lot of things and most of it's wrong.

Like most people are saying they talked to him 10PM on the 20th, but I know for a fact that the 911 call was made at 6:27PM on the 19th.

Was there 2 deaths on the train one day after another?

I don't know.

You know what I do know? He wasn't killed by fucking demons or aliens. What the hell? That's the most popular version of what happened going around town. That an alien suicide demon killed him. Who thinks up these things? Why are there people who even believe in demons to begin with? I don't get that at all. All this talk of demons and aliens and curses. I don't believe in demons or aliens or curses, so I think you're all crazy. How can you believe demons are real? What's wrong with these people?

This homeless man, he said he knew who I was. Said his family knew me. Said he remembered me from years ago. I don't know. I do not remember him, but he was maybe 30 years younger than me, so if he remembered me from when he was a child, than I probably wouldn't recognize him.

If he is the Todd people are talking about... there was a Todd at church, the Mormon church, years ago, decades ago. I didn't know them. They were friends of my Uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, so they knew him, not me. I don't think I ever met them.

Me and Etiole the two people you are attacking and slandering and spreading rumours and lies about, have done more the help fed and cloth and keep warm in winter snow, the homeless in Old Orchard Beach, Saco, and Biddeford, Maine, than anyone else in the state. Maybe instead of spreading your vile ugly rumours and lies about me and Etiole, you should take the time to get to know us, and find out who we really are. Because what we are, is two humans ostracized by society because we look different, two humans, branded as a witch and a demon, because I wear the traditional cloths of my people and Etiole has no skin.

And while you stand there yelling and accusing and threatening, me and Etiole are out there helping the homeless, who often don't need to be homeless, they often have parents, spouses, siblings any one of whom COULD take them in, but WON'T. The homeless man who killed himself with the train this week, every evening before sunset he walked to his family's house and begged them to let him come inside out of the 20F cold. Every night he returned to the ravine to sleep in Etiole's den, and tell us, his family told him to go away, grow up, and learn to be a man. And now he's dead, because his family didn't care, that he was terrified he was going to freeze to death when the first snow came. That should not have happened. But his family hated him so much, they wouldn't even give him a blanket, because they wanted to teach him a lesson. And now he's dead because of their cruelty.

Me and Etiole tried to help him, but his family hated him so much, and he couldn't live with that. He so desperately wanted his family to love him. It's all he talked about. How much they hated him and how much he wanted them to love him. The last straw was his son. His family took away his 5 year old baby and had started teaching his son to hate him. He tried to bear his parents hating him, his wife hating him, but he could not bear the thought of them turning his own son against him.

What happened to that homeless man this week, could have been prevented if he had had, just one person in his life - just one family member, just one friend, who cared enough, to let him come inside out of the cold. How many homeless people die ever year, so senselessly, because some toxic, spiteful relative thought the homeless person needed to be taught a lesson? The answer is HUNDREDS. It happens every day. I would suggest you look at what happened to that homeless man this week, and you look at how cruelly people treated him. Than look at yourself and how you treat your own children. Compare yourself, to that homeless man and ask yourself, how much like those bullies are you? Were YOU as toxic and cruel to your children, to your parents, to your friends, as people around here was to him? If so, than try to change yourself, become a better person, so you are not like them. 

You want to know the worst part of this homeless man's train death?

I have been TELLING EVERYONE AROUND SOUTH STREET for the past 3 months what was going on, and NOT ONE single person who listen to me or go out there and check on that man.

Why?

Because they were too busy laughing at me, calling me a witch, and gibbering about demons to listen to me.

And it turns out 90% of them were FRIENDS AND FAMILY of that homeless man are right now kicking themselves for being too bigoted at me, to listen to what I was saying about that suicidal homeless man who was in desperate need of help.

Had the locals STOPPED bullying me long enough to actually listen to what I was saying... that homeless man would not be dead under a train right now.

You stupid idiots!

You had your fun and now a man's dead because of it.

You were all too busy calling me a witch and calling my friend a demon, to pay attention to the fact that I KNEW that man was talking about jumping in front of a train!

He talked about it constantly and I couldn't get a damned one of you to listen to me.

What did you ALL say?

*"It's just a homeless man. Why should I care?"*


I didn't know his name.

I had no idea the people who were saying: *"It's just a homeless man. Why should I care?"* were his friends and his family. They were prejudice against ALL homeless people in general, that they wouldn't go out there and try to help a homeless man, and now they are walking around the streets saying, they wished they had believed me, they wished they had gone out their to the trestle, to the ravine, to try to help the homeless man I was asking them to help, because they now know, if they had only gone out their to check on the suicidal homeless man, they would have found out who he was, and found out, they knew him, found out he was their friend, found he was their family.

Had they only stopped laughing at me and my homeless friends long enough, they could have saved the life of someone they knew and loved.

There's the power of ignorance and bigotry for you.

They hated homeless people so much, refused to help the homeless so much, that now someone is dead, and even in the days after his death, they were out their laughing and joking "Just a dead homeless man, who cares?"... until the police showed up to tell them: "We IDed the homeless man..." and now those people who were laughing at the dead homeless man on the train tracks are struck with the horror of realizing, he was their own family, their own friend, and had they only listened to the "the crazy demon witch" they could have saved him.

Help people instead of hurting them.

It's not hard to do.

Helping people is much easier than hurting them.

Just think, if everyone treated everyone else with kindness, there would be no more murders and no more suicides in the world.

I've seen so many suicides in my life, precisely because I spend so much time with the homeless of Maine. I see it over and over again. People, who are homeless, but have families, that live less than a mile away from the cardboard box they sleep in at night. Parents, siblings, spouses, aunts, uncles, cousins, less than a mile away. Americans are so cruel to their own families. So many suicides, that could have been prevented, if only their families had not abandoned them, not turned on them, not cast them out, not ostracized them, not shunned them. Most people I meet who are homeless, don't need to be, because they DO have families, but their families don't care about them.

There are more than 2,000 homeless people, right now in Old Orchard Beach, Saco, and Biddeford, Maine. And every one of them has local families, who COULD help them, who COULD feed them, who COULD give them a place to sleep, they just WON'T. And it's always the same story. Prideful parents and spiteful spouses want to teach them a lesson, saying it's good for them to be homeless. The local parents and spouses of Maine's homeless population disgust me.

And with December days away, we all know what happens now. The blizzards will move in. And in April and May of 2022, the police of Old Orchard Beach, Saco, and Biddeford, Maine, will do what they always do every year: go out behind stores and dumpsters looking for bodies. Every year, no fewer than one hundred homeless people freeze to death during blizzard season. EVERY YEAR. Every town in York Country will have at least 4 homeless people frozen to death. It's worse in Cumberland County. Each DISTRICT of Portland, will have a dozen or more homeless people frozen to death by spring, just like they do every year.

All the homeless who will freeze to death this winter, and next winter, and the winter after... just like last winter, and the winter before, and the winter before that, they ALL have local families. They ALL have local parents, local spouses, local siblings, local cousins, locals aunts and uncles, who will ALL deny them help, who will ALL deny them food, who will ALL deny them places to sleep. EVERY homeless PERSON who freezes to death each year in Maine, had someone who COULD have helped, but WOULDN'T.

And worse than freezing to death... are the suicides. As blizzard season draws near and the nights get colder, the suicide rate starts to skyrocket as the homeless beg their families for a scrap of food or a measly blanket, and get doors slammed in their faces instead. Every year, during the 2 weeks before blizzard season starts, every year, there are more than 300 suicides by homeless people here in Maine. And every one of them, kills themselves, because they fully 100% believe their family hated them and wanted them dead. 

Why don't you take a step back and look at yourselves and what you are doing and why you are doing it and who you are doing it to. Me and Etiole, we are no threat to you. We've never been a threat to any one. The ONLY threat out there is YOU jackasses who keep trespassing and coming up in here to beat us up because of some damned rumours you heard! Slanderous rumours spread by stupid ass busy bodies and believed ONLY by retarded jackasses like yourself.

Do you want to know WHY I help the homeless people, men like Etiole and that man who was just hit by a train? Because I used to be homeless and I know what it's like to be out there scared, confused, alone, not knowing where the next meal is coming from, having to daily fight to survive because so many hate and attack homeless people.

Look at this picture. This is me. This is where I lived from May 9, 2006 to March 31, 2015

HERE:

Me and Etiole, we are out there trying to help the homeless. Letting them know there IS someone who cares. Letting them know, they have a reason to live. I was homeless for 9 years. I lived under a 8x6' tarp for 9 years. And during that time, I learned who my friends were. I got no help from my parents, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my church, my friends. No one. I have 3 brothers, they were the only ones who helped me. There are 400 people in my family. We are Gypsies, most men are polygamists and have 5 or more wives, no wife has fewer than 8 children, most women in my family have given birth to more than twenty. There are 400 people in my family, all of whom I had helped many times, several while they were homeless, I gave them a place to stay and food to eat. And when I became homeless myself, those very same people, not only turned their backs on me, they did it with cruel violence.

I know what it is like to be homeless, to live outside during Maine's blizzards, to have no one who cares. I know what it is like to go 12 days without food and be scared of starving to death.

Look at THIS picture again, and let me tell you how it got taken:

October 7, 2006, broke Maine's world record for the coldest day ever at -47F (minus 47 degrees before zero) before windchill factor... that picture with the snow, it was taken that day, by my brother, who came to check on me, because he was scared I'd die in that cold. He came to help, when no one else did.

And that same day, in Portland, just 7 miles away, more than a dozen homeless people were found frozen to death, in a dumpster, on St John Street, they had climbed into together to try to huddle together and get out of the cold.

THAT is WHY I make a point of seeking out and helping the homeless in Maine. Because I know what it is like to survive, and I only survived, because I had a brother who cared and came looking for me.

And you people, especially you families, who go out of your way to make life miserable for the homeless people...

You people all ought to be ashamed of yourselves!

This homeless man who found Etiole, he said he knew the people who were spreading some of the worst rumours of all about me and Etiole, oh he had a list too - of a lot of things I had never even heard before - way more rumours are flying around out there about me than I knew about and some of them are pretty bad - and this man, now dead by the train, he not only knew these wild slanders going around, he said knew who are STARTED them - the knew the SOURCE of the rumours, and he said, he felt they were doing it, because hey were trying to turn attention on me and away from themselves, and he said, he read the article the FBI asked me to write about what happened and he knew which word was wrong. He said it made him sick when he realized which word in the article was wrong and what the correct word was, because as horrible as the crime is, it becomes so much more worse, when you know what the correct word is. And he was horrified, to learn that, that word, was withheld from the public, and only the killer would know to use it instead of the word that was released to the public. He knew it. He knew what it was. What word was wrong.

Did he actually know the killer? I don't know. 

I mean on one hand, he's just a homeless man and well, I've known a lot of homeless people and often they are homeless because of mental illnesses, so, he wouldn't be the first homeless man say he knew something and actually did not.

On the other hand, he's not the first person to say he knew something and then suddenly die.

I'm sick of every time someone tries to help they end up dead.

And I tell that to the FBI agents and they say: "You don't know who we're dealing with. We've been after this heroine gang for years."

No you're right, I don't know who we're dealing with.

But you know what I do know?

In the 7 years since my children were beheaded...  I'm sick and tired of more and more people getting hurt.

Yes, I can see the drug dealers the FBI is after are dangerous mother fuckers. You don't have to tell ME that these people are dangerous, they boiled my children in oil, cooked them like fried chicken while they were still alive, sawed off their heads, nailed their heads to my motor home, braided their intestines together and hung it on the awning of my motor home like a fucking Christmas garland! So, yeah, I think I might be pretty well aware how danger these sons of bitches are!

You know, when my children died, their heads were cut off, their arms and legs also cut off, their organs and intestines cut out. Their heads nailed to my door, their arms and legs hung from ropes in the trees, their intestines tacked up around the roof edge of my motorhome like Christmas garlands... with in an hour, I had gone out there and taken them down, so they wouldn't be on public display.

I did not want my children's bloody remains hanging in public for all the world to see. I cared about my children, I loved my children, enough to go out to the crime scene, and pick up every single last, itty bitty, tiny, cut up piece of all 10 of their bodies.

It was horrible and disgusting, and made me vomit every few minutes, I was scraping my children's mashed up body parts - hundreds of pieces, nailed all over the front of my motorhome, their body parts hung like Christmas ornaments from the awning! That's why there is no more awning on my motorhome, I couldn't get the blood stains out.

Do you know what it is like, to spend a week, searching every inch of your yard for fingers and toes, of your own children?

I do. Because I had to do that.

You are so desperate to know what information was withheld from the news?

Georgie had his face smashed off with a brick.

Bela had her jaw ripped off while she was still alive.

Emily was boiled alive.

You still want to know what information wasn't in the news?

There's a reason I don't talk much about what happened to my children, because I don't think most of you could stomach it. But I'm their mother and I'm the one who had to pick up all their parts.

It made me sick to have to do it.

But I didn't leave them there like that.

I had the decency to take them down and give them a respectable burial with all of their remains in the coffins...

No one would help. No one single person. Not my parents. Not my mother. Not my father. Not my husband. Not my siblings. Not my aunts. Not my uncles. Not my cousins. Not my friends. Not my church. Not my neighbours. No one. They all said the same thing: "I don't want to see them like that. I don't want that to be my last memories of them." One relative, the Colonel, my father-in-law, he offered to help, but he was in very bad health, and couldn't get nurses to let him come to help. He died a few weeks later.

My ten children, where cut up. Heads here. Legs there. Their intestines braided together and looped garland style around the awning poles of the motorhome.

It took the killers hours to decorate my motorhome with the remains of my ten children.

It took me hours to get them down. The motorhome is 12 feet tall. I don't have a ladder. I couldn't even get a friend or neighbour or relative to come over with a ladder so I could reach the entrails hanging from the awning.

They all said the same thing: "I don't want to see them like that. I don't want that to be my last memories of them." 

Well, you know what? I was their mother and I didn't want to see them like that either!

They all said the same thing: "I don't want to see them like that. I don't want that to be my last memories of them." 

I was their mother and I did not want that to be my last memory of them!

NO ONE... not one single person in my family - not my parents, not my siblings, not my aunts, not my uncles, not my cousins, not my church, not my friends, not my neighbours... NO had the decency to help me get them down! NO ONE saw what was done to them that day. No one but the police and FBI are even aware how bad the situation was, because NO ONE CARED!

The ONLY people who know the full details of what happened are me, who found the bodies, the FBI who is investigating, and the murderers.

No one else.

No one else saw the bodies.

So ANYONE going around town claiming to have details, IS THE MURDERER or knows them, because NO ONE ELSE has those details.

And THAT is why the information was kept out of the news.

My children were murdered by a psychopath who turned their bodies into bloody Christmas decorations... and NOT ONE OF YOU GAVE A SHIT!

They spent weeks making those pieces of so called artwork out of my children's bodies.

And no one helped me take them down.

Not one of you!

They all said the same thing: "I don't want to see them like that. I don't want that to be my last memories of them." 

Do you think I wanted to see them like that?

Do you think I wanted that to be my last memory of them?

I'm their fucking mother!

I learned fast on May 15, 2015, who I could rely on who I could trust... and the answer was NO ONE.... no one but the FBI agents who had the decency to help when no one else would.

I could have done what the rest of you all did and said the same thing you all did: "I don't want to see them like that. I don't want that to be my last memories of them." But I didn't, did I? No! I didn't leave my children scattered remains of public display for all to see. I care enough about them to take them down, no matter how sick it made me, no matter how disgusted I was by it, no matter how much I didn't want to see them like that.

I loved my children, so when they were murdered, cut to pieces and strewn everywhere, I made sure to pick up every last piece.

And HOW have you people TREATED me in the 7 years since than?

I'll tell you... when I go to my church, The Saco Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - they threw rocks at me when I tried to go inside. Five weeks in a row they slashed the tires on my car. I have an antique Volvo with white walls - each tire cost $2k to replace, and you did it 5 weeks in a row! One Sunday, they poured etching fluid on my windshield, I had to buy a new windshield. Their teens and children ran around singing the infamous chant "Too gay for the family friendly church". Fellow Mormons. I'm shocked. That's not the Mormon way.

It became too expensive for me to go to church because the repairs from the weekly vandalism while my car was in your parking lot was more money a week, than I make in a year.

THAT is why I stopped going to church the same year my children were murdered.

Because you people treated me like shit!

And what of my friends?

I've not seen or heard a word from any of them... NOT ONE... in 7 years.

I was in the hospital with a broken spine, broken hips, broken knees, broken legs.

My vertebrae are crushed and can not be operated on. So it can never be fixed.

Did anyone visit me in the hospital? No.

Did any one visit me after I got out of the hospital? No.

Were they there for me, when strangers with golf clubs, attacked me in a parking lot, while I was 8 months pregnant, killing my baby and breaking my spine, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months, and 18 months relearning to walk? No.

My relatives? My Aunt B* started posting the message on my FaceBook wall: "The next head nailed to a door will be yours!"... something she initially posted 3 hours BEFORE my children's heads were nailed to my door.

While her brother Mervin Bruce set about to created HUNDREDS of social media accounts on FaceBook, Twitter, Twitch, hundreds on EACH, to spam pictures of severed head memes all over my profiles. While the adult children of his brother David took to posting photos of themselves carrying assault rifles and the words "This is the gun I'm going to blow your brains out with" was written on the photos. THAT is how my family - my aunts, my uncles, and my cousins reacted to my children being murdered.

I've not seen or heard from my brothers in 7 years. My father and one brother though they live with me, hasn't said a word to me in 7 years. And you've all seen what my mother does on my social media accounts.

After my children were murdered, everyone around me had one of 2 reactions: to treat my like the plague and completely shun me, or two turn psychotic violent and start harassing me online and offline.

It's been seven years, and I've yet to sit down and talk to anyone about what happened to my children, because I have no one to talk to.

And ONLY have no one to talk to, because you people made it so. I HAVE tried to reach out, to all of my relations, all of my friends. They hang up on me, slammed the door in my face.

I didn't just lose my 10 children the day they were murdered, I lost every single person in my life.

And then there are the neighbours, both the ones neighbouring my farm in Old Orchard Beach, where the murder took place AND the ones neighbouring my apartment in Biddeford... look at what you do: they hit me and my dog when you see us walking by, you throw rocks at me, you yell at me and call me a witch, you shout out anti-gay slurs, you scream "god hates fags" as I walk by.

Why?

Why do you do these things?

And right now, Thanksgiving week 2021, there is an angry mob roaming the forests of Maine, looking for Etiole, screaming they are going to kill the demon!

I am not a witch and Etiole is not a demon.

Why do you people say those things about us?

What is wrong with you people?

Why are you doing this?

And then the police and FBI say they have to keep these things out of the news?

Why?

They say the way my family died is too upsetting for people to read about.

No fuck? You think? At least they only have to read it, I'm the one who had to spend weeks scrubbing blood off the walls and doors and windows.

No. That's not okay. 

It's not okay for people to not know the fucked up shit these criminals did to my children!

It's not okay for witnesses to not know the danger they put themselves in if they come forward.

The FBI had 3 surveillance trucks on Main St, Cutts St, and Bradbury St all summer. They wanted me to change the paint on my car, the FBI phone number added to my trunk - to see HOW the people living on those 3 streets would react. 

Who would do what? 

What would be said? 

Who would go where? 

Who would attack my family first? 

How would they attack? 

What would they say while attacking? 

I knew how dangerous painting the FBI phone number on my car would be going into this. They said it would be, considering how violent the murder of my family was. 

Well now the FBI has SEEN FIRST HAND front row seat from that fake so-called FedEx truck in front of the apartment, what people do when I paint my car. 

Did they get the information they wanted? I don't know, but one man is dead and another man is dying. 

And I've HAD IT!  

What I do know is I'm sick of the damned secrecy, I'm sick of being required to not tell the public what happened to my family, I'm sick of MORE people dying because the FBI wants to sit back and wait, I'm sick of the local jackasses calling me a witch, I'm sick of the local idiots calling Etiole a demon, I'm sick of locals having psychotic meltdowns because I painted a mural on my car! 

And on top of all that, I'm without 2 friends right now, because one was hit by fucking train and the other one was gunned down 2 days later. 

Well I hope the FBI got the fucking ass information they needed because I've had it with ALL of this bull shit!

I'm tired of 7 years of not being allowed to talk about what happened to my family.

I'm tired of being required to change words in blog posts, because the FBI doesn't want certain words released to the public.

I'm tired of my family and friends being terrorized by jackass filth thug drug dealing lunatics.

I'm tired of bombs. 7 now. I've survived seven fucking bombs now. Two just this week alone. One in my car and one in my bedroom.

I'm tired of being your fucking guinea pig. My family was murdered 7 years ago, and I've not even had time to mourn because the FBI showed up and "Oh do this for us" and "Do that too"... we couldn't even have a funeral, because each of my ten children was chopped up into hundreds of pieces, and oh by the way guess what... that word I'm not supposed to use? You will notice I haven't used it in this post, I'm word the FBI asked me to use instead. So, if you happen to know which word in this post is WRONG and what that word SHOULD be... ask yourself how and why do you know the correct word, because you should NOT know the correct word, and if you do, chances are high, you've somehow had contact with the person who chopped up my children.

I'm sick of not being allowed to talk about my children.

They made me take all of their pictures down. There are no pictures of them anywhere on any of my social media profiles sine June 2016, because the FBI wanted all their pictures taken down. Why? So they could change that fucking word. 

You ALL know me... you who follow me... look at my pictures... which ones are gone? Thousands of them. I had more than 1,000 pictures just of Bela.

You all remember Bela.

And Georgie.

And Emily.

And Pippi.

And Cleo.

And I'm not allowed to say the names of the others.

I had to unpublish several of my books, because Cleo was on the book cover, because the books were a serious of non-fiction-day-in-the-life books about her.

How many of you reading this right now, have a copy of the book: "Cleo's Great Escape"? 

If you have a copy of that book, go get it and look at the book cover. 

That picture on the cover. That's Cleo. 

That's an actual photo of her. 

You want to know how Cleo died?  They held her stomach down over a circular table saw and cut Cleo in half while Cleo was still alive, and they hung each half of her to either side of the door of my motor home.

So, yeah, I'm pretty aware that these people are fucking dangerous.

But the people coming forward, calling that FBI number on my car, they don't know. They do not know, how dangerous these killers are, precisely BECAUSE the FBI won't let the information of HOW my children died be made public.

Each one died different.

Only Emily was boiled.

Only Cleo got a table saw.

They killed them using ten different, psychotic fucked up ways.

The people who killed my family are fucked up.

Normal sane people don't do the kind of fucked up torture shit that was done to my family.

And you know what's the worst part of all of this... MOST of the 120+ people who cam forward as "witnesses" and then dead in fucked up ways a few days later, turned out to NOT be real witnesses. They were just bored people looking to pull a prank, see if they could hoax the FBI, see if the FBI could tell if they were lying or not. It's bad enough when ACTUAL witnesses die after coming forward, but most of them were just pranksters trying to prank the FBI, and now they are dead, because, well as the FBI put it: "You don't know who we're dealing with here."

No. I don't. I have no idea who these bastards are. But it's pretty damned obvious the FBI does in fact know who they are otherwise they wouldn't keep saying:  "You don't know who we're dealing with here."

I don't understand all the stupid ass secrecy, but I'm tired of it. Okay?

I'm just fed up.

Two people close to me got hurt really bad this week, one of them is dead. My car got it's insides blown out and now I have weeks of repairs to look forward to, after just getting it back, from it being repaired for 3 years from the last time it got attacked back in February 2019. My apartment building got  vandalized to shit, one neighbour moved out this morning scared the fuck out of her mind, all the wires got cut off the building by a fucking lunatic. I was attacked by 6 sociopaths with rifles, who shot Etiole and used their cars to vandalize the hell out of Rotary Park. Seven times in the past hour, a woman has shown up on the neighbours front porch screaming "witch" and "demon" and yelling "you gotta get a new car whoop-whoop!" - not the same woman 7 times, now 7 different women have done that so far not today, but in the past hour - there's been a lot more throughout the day - none of them seem to be aware they are at the wrong door.  And that all just this one Thanksgiving Day week!

I want my fucking life back!

I'm an author. I used to publish 52 short stories a year, 4 or more novels a year, and 2 to 3 non-fiction articles a day. I published on average 2million words a year. I haven't published a damned thing since the FBI showed up after my family was murdered,not one thing in 7 years.

I can't even make an attempt to go back to living a normal life because every time I do the FBI is all "No, no, no, we need you to do this, we have to catch them. "You don't know who we're dealing with. We've been after this drug gang for years."

You know what? Fuck you!

My family died! And you jumped on that fucking piranhas! You don't give a shit what I'm going through. You don't give a shit what the surviving members of my family are going through. You don't give a shit that witnesses are dropping dead left and right, falling out of the sky and landing in front of trains. People are dying and you don't give a fucking shit, because all we are to you FBI agents are fucking tools for you to use, to get to some drug lord that I don't even know who it is or what the fuck it has to do with me or how my family ended up being killed by someone like that! Clearly you know why some drug lord killed my family, but I have no clue. I'm a Mormon. We don't use drugs or have connections to drug dealers.

I am tired of you FBI agents coming in here and using me and my car and my apartment and my family and my friends and my neighbours, to try to catch some drug gang that I don't know how in the hell I could even be connected to in the first place!

Is the FBI going to pay for the repairs to my car? No!

Is the FBI going to pay for the repairs to my apartment building? No!

Is the FBI going to pay for the medical bills for either me or Etiole or anyone else? No!

Of course not!

They are just going to continue to do what they have been doing for the past 7 years: sit on their asses in that fake ass FedEx truck out front, listening to every conversation, of every family, of every apartment, in every house on this street, and not do one other damned thing.

I'm tired of this.

I want my life back.

My family died seven years ago, and you won't let me move on, because you have some drug dealer you want to catch.

I have a missing older brother, I'm trying to locate. I have a career I'm trying to do. I have have 4 novels that I'm trying to write and edit. I'm trying to live my life, and everything I try to do, gets interrupted by vandalism, harassment, and attacks from total strangers who are somehow connected to that drug dealer who is also a stranger, because the FBI wants to take advantage of the fact that my family was murdered.

Well, I can see WHY, no one else who's family was murdered, was willing to help you, and I'm questioning why I should continue to help you, because it's been more harm than good, it's brought nothing but even more death and destruction, it's brought gangsters to my front door at THREE different apartment buildings now!

I'm crippled. I can barely sit up, let alone walk. I'm bedridden 12+ hours a day, and I'm asleep the rest of the day. I'm legally blind. I'm almost deaf. I have rheumatism and chronic tendinitis, COPD, OCD, Kanner's Syndrome, and post traumatic stress disorder. I have no grip strength, no bladder control, my doctor won't let me lift anything over 10lbs because my muscles fall off my joints if I do. I can't hear people coming, I can't see them coming, I can't fight back, and I have people running up behind me with golf clubs, baseball bats, and big ass fucking boulders. I have lunatics waving guns and rifles in my face and driving circles around me in tricked out pimp cars. A nut job drove up with a fucking gatland gun on the roof of a school bus!

And for what?

I now have $20million in medical bills, a bomb blew up my house and my horse stable, and killed my horses and my bantams, so now I don't have horses or bantams any more and I have to live in a scum dive apartment in fucking ass Biddeford of all places, All because after rebuilding my house on my farm in Old Orchard FIVE TIMES NOW a fucking lunatic with a backhoe drove over it every time I rebuilt it!

And why the hell did you put us in Biddeford? If I was going to choose my apartment, the last place I would pick is Biddeford! Yeah, I get that you wanted us as close to your precious drug lord as possible, but why did it have to be Biddeford!

Oh yeah... and that word I can't say, because the FBI says so... I had 83 of them and they're all dead too! 

Why?

So the FBI can catch some drug dealer, a heroine ring, that they claim is the one who murdered my family?

Why would some heroine dealer kill me family?

I can guarantee not a one of them took drugs. 

And if you say, well, kids and teens, you never know... yeah, but theirs that word that is DELIBERATELY WRONG and that word, when you know the correct word, makes all the differance in the world.

I guarantee, Bela, Georgie, Emily, Pippi, Cleo, and the ones I can't say the names of, were not running around buying drugs, because it'd be pretty difficult considering what they were.

The connection is the Atwaters. The people killed my family, did so, because they got the wrong fucking information. They were supposed to attack "a green trailer" that was sitting in the Atwaters's yard, the vardo that's been in my family for decades. That same week, there was a construction crew in my yard, so I moved my motorhome next door, to park in their driveway next door. I live at 146. My motorhome is usually at 146. It was in their yard next door at 148, because there were 3 dump trucks in my yard doing work, and I moved the motorhome so they had room to get up in the yard. And my motorhome is a famous monster truck rally icon. It's No Hurry, the official Monster Energy Drink Monster Truck built by Monster Truck builder Alan Berry. It's Monster Energy Drink Lime Green. The attackers were told to attack a "green trailer" which was a dark green wooden vardo parked out back, and the day they arrived, my neon lime green motorhome was sitting in the driveway in front of the vardo.

And that's the ONLY reason, my family died.

They were after the Atwaters, not me, not my family. Of that the FBI is 100% certain. And it's because of a fight they had with a construction worker over a septic tank. Of that the FBI is also 100% certain. And I'm on a "need to know" basis, so, how any of that connects to a drug gang and heroine dealers, I have no clue, but somehow it does, according to the FBI. I don't "need" to know any more than that, so, they tell didn't tell me any more than that.

I was not the intended target.

My family were not the intended targets.

My motorhome was not the intended target.

I just happened to park my motorhome in the wrong driveway on the wrong day, and be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And you people running around with your stupid ass rumours, you NOT helping the FBI''s investigation any at all. In fact you're hindering it a hell of a lot.

What happened to me was supposed to happen to the Atwaters, but I don't know why.

I don't know what the hell they've got themselves involved in, but I do know, FBI Agent Andy Drewer told me to tell every one in the family, my brothers, my mother, my father, to stay the hell away from the Atwaters, because they are the ones connected to the drug dealer. According the Agent Drewer, anyone with the Atwaters when they go down, is gonna go down with them. Bruce is now dead - maybe - it's faked his death 4 times now and, no one saw his body and there was no funeral, so no one knows 100% for sure if he's dead or not. The day before his most recent supposed death, he bought plane tickets for New Zealand. According the Agent Drewer, Bruce ran in with some gang in Boston. A big gang. One of the biggest in America. And THAT is who killed my family. He was sick, avoiding the hospitals because there was a warrant out for him, so he tried to get some drugs in Boston, and than ran off without paying for those drugs. And so all of his relatives became targets after that. And that's why he vanished November 24, 2019, with only the word of one daughter to say that he's dead.

So, because the uncle who runs around calling everyone demons, the uncle who used to be one of Heaven's Gate's leaders, the uncle who locked me in a cage when I was 8 and left me there for 27 years, because HE fucked over some Boston drug dealer, my family is dead, because apparently, they thought he was hiding out in the Atwaters's yard in a green trailer, and somehow the Atwaters fighting with a construction worker over a septic tank, caused the drug lord to think Bruce was in the Atwaters's yard hiding in a green trailer.

Mervin Bruce Atwater, the SAME guy who started the demon rumour about Etiole ALSO ran around claiming to be one of Heaven's Gate's leaders, and that doesn't tell you he's crazy?

It's crazy as all fuck, but hey, this is the uncle who bragged that he helped kill 39 people at Heaven's Gate because he thought god was running in from planet Kolob on Comet Hale-bop, and the same uncle who started the Amphibious Alien rumour about Etiole, and the same uncle who started the demon rumours about Etiole, and the same uncle who kept little girls in rusted cage (I stall have the cages by the way, I've showed you them in several live-streams), so why should I be surprised, that this same uncle tried to cheat some Boston drug lord and then got my family killed by hiding out in the Atwaters's yard?

Mervin Bruce Atwater was a funking lunatic who was obsessed with aliens and ufos and demons and ghosts, that's WHY it was the only thing he ever talked about. And he got hung up on Etiole and my 1964 Dodge and obsessed over telling everyone he could find online and offline that Etiole was an alien demon and my car was haunted.

I had hoped now that he was dead, the rumours would die with him, but no, look at what's going on this week!

Some homeless