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Homepage for the Fantasy series:
The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane
-- ten MILLION copies sold and counting!
Founded in 1996, we are Maine's Oldest, Largest, & Most Trafficked Website.
Home to more than 10,000 articles aimed at helping young authors worldbuild, create characters, write novellas, edit manuscripts, design book covers, and self publish their work.
November 14, 2023 will be the 10 year anniversary of the November 14, 2013 murder of my 8 month old infant son, at BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, Maine. If you have any information about who his killer is, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
My Son Was Murdered, The Killer Walks Free, Your Child Could Be Next!
FAQ: What are the most visited pages on this website and how many visits do they get?
Several years ago, I wrote an article on how to write different types of magic uses, or rather how I personally write various types of magic users within the context of my Quaraun books. Today that page is one of my top ten most visited articles. It gets 50 to 500 views/reads/hits/visits per day depending on the time of the years and has had over 200k visits total since it was published.
Amphibious Aliens: Debunking The Atwater Family's Alien Abduction Hoax with more then 30MILLION reads since 2007 and The GoldenEagle: Debunking Stephen King's World's Most Haunted Car Hoax with over tenMILLION reads since 2007 still rank as the two most visited articles on my website, but, neither of those are writing related.
Writing Medieval Servants is my most visited writing related article with over 7MILLION reads.
This website was started in 1996 and has 1 to 3 new articles (all written by me, I am the only writer on this site) published almost daily. In 2017 we crossed ten thousand articles published. As of 2023, EACH article gets MINIMUM 10 to 70 reads PER DAY, with the high traffic articles getting 500+ reads per day.
And since December 2019, my website now gets three hundred thousand to 7 million reads per month - well over ONE HUNDRED MILLION PAGE READS PER YEAR, making it not only the single most trafficked site in the State of Maine, but also one of the most visited websites in ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!
{{{HUGS}}} Thank you to all my readers for making this possible!
The Swamp of Death
Into The Swamp of Death
(novel excerpt)
TRIGGER WARNING
This novel is about a murder-suicide, in which the suicide victim is found still alive.
This scene contains references to cutting, drug overdose, and suicide attempts.
Reader discretion is advised.
Possibly NSFW
Author of Cozy & Gothic Fantasy, Sweet/Fluffy M/M Furry Romance, Cosmic Horror, Space Opera, & Literary SoL genres. I write Elves, Fae, Unicorns, & Demons.
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Sample Chapter from:
Quaraun and the Vampire, Into the Swamp of Death
Volume 8 of
The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane
Quaraun opened his eyes and stared up at the dark night sky overhead. He wasn't in the tavern any more. A young black eyed, black haired, black skinned, black garbed Phooka knelt over him. Unicorn was no longer old. With the Vampire ritual his youth had been restored.
"Ya know I has never seen anyone faint as much as ya do," Unicorn said.
"It's a problem," Quaraun agreed, still laying on his back, not daring to move for fear he'd pass out again.
"Ya'll never defeat Lich Lords at this rate. Ya'll walk in room, pass out, un they'll kill ya. Oh me dear dying Moses, hows do ya ever get anything done?"
"It's why I avoided using magic if I don't have to. It drains me. Makes me very weak."
"I can see that."
Quaraun looked down at his clothes. He was not wearing his normal pink ball gowns. He was dressed in black robes. Black robes that he only wore when doing something bloody, as the blood stained were not seen on the cloth.
“Why am I dressed like this?”
“What does ya see?”
“What do you mean?”
“Ya’ve been out of ya head un not seeing t’ings as dey are.”
“I’m dressed in black. I never wear black.”
“Ya did on Fire Mountain.”
“And I am now...why?”
“What else can ya see?”
“What do you mean?”
“I needs ya to remember, Quaraun.”
“Remember?”
“Please try to remember, where ya is un what ya has done. It important.”
“Remember?”
“Aye. Please try. Ya’ve done a terrible t’ing.”
“Have I?”
“Aye. Ya has.”
“What do I need to remember?”
“Look at ya arms.”
“Why?”
“Just look.”
“What is going on?”
“Ya tried to kill yarself.”
“No. I didn’t.”
“Ya did. Quaraun, please look at ya hands.”
“I’m covered in blood.”
“Aye. Un not all yars. There is more then ya blood dair.”
“What happened?”
“Ye tell me.”
“You don’t know?”
“I were dead.”
“Were you?”
“Aye. I woke up. Found ya like dis. Yis covered in blood, un it not all yars. I knows not what has happened to ya, but I can see what ya has done.”
“What did I do?”
“Exactly what FarDarrig predicted.”
“FarDarrig?”
“The Vampire Leprechaun, who lives on Fire Mountain.”
“I know who FarDarrig is. What did he predict?”
“Turn back from dis path ya is on. Do no follow him. Ya knows not what he is or what he will do to ya. Ya’ll all die. You Gnome, ya’ll be the first to go. - That what him said. To BeaLuna.”
“Where’s BeaLuna?”
“Ya does nay know?”
“No. Should I?”
“Aye. Ya should. Ya need to look at what ya has done. Ya needs to wake up out of whatever this dream state is ya is in.”
Quaraun looked down at his arms. Several large gashes, sliced deeply acrossed his wrists.
“How did we get here?”
“Where is we?”
“A tavern.”
“Look around. We is not in a tavern. Can ya not see that?”
“This is The Mournful Lamb Inn.”
“No. There is no Mournful Lamb Inn.”
“Where are we?”
“We are in a graveyard in Baironi.”
“Why are we in Baironi?”
“I was very sick.”
“You were dying.”
“Aye. I were dying. Except I did die. Un it broke ya heart. Yis a Necromancer. Ya tried to help me. In de end ya did, but at great cost.”
“You were dying. I took you to Massimara on Mount Yenka.”
“Aye. Ya did.”
“You are better?”
“Aye.”
“I'm confused."
"Ahyah. Ya are. Un ya has been ignoring, not wanting to see or hear, everything I has said last few days. Have ya not? Oh, me poor wee lil Elf. Ya messed up yar mind bad, did ya?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Does ya know who I is?”
"Unicorn?"
Quaraun sat up. Unicorn helped him stand.
"Aye."
"You're alive?"
"Aye, well, no. I is na sure actually."
"You were dead."
"Ahyah. I tinks I still am."
"I saw you die."
"I know."
"I saw an Orc cut you in half."
"I saw ya fall apart."
"Unicorn!" Quaraun felt both overjoyed and confused. The drugs were finally wearing off. The wounded wizard was finally seeing his surroundings without the clouded haze of hallucinations. He stood and looked around. They were standing in a graveyard, in front of a large crypt. A vast swamp stretched all around them as far as could be seen.
“We’re in a swamp.”
“Aye. This de Swamp of Death.”
"You're not dead."
Unicorn shook his head.
"No. I is dead. I tinks. I is na sure what ya did to me actually. I seem to be fucking dead. Or something of that nature. I twere dead. I is na now. Un yet I is. Undead I believe is term. I is undead creature now. Or I twere I undead already. Am I doubly dead now? The Lichdom thing is confusing. At least now as Vampire I have solid body un feeling, un taste, un, oh, me sexual appetite has soared. Vampires are ever so horny, un me being me, do ya have any idea hows horny I get now? I is horny Phookan VampaLich. Ya did this to me."
“You’re a Vampire?”
“Aye.”
“Why?”
“Because yis insane.”
Quaraun looked down at the deep slices in his arms.
“Did I do this?”
“Aye. Ya tried to kill yarself. Ya almost did. I has had hard time getting ya to wake up. This closest ya been to death.”
“You died.”
“I did.”
"Why are you not dead?"
"Ya brought me back."
"No, I didn't."
"Aye, I is afraid ya did. At a great cost."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because yis Necromancer un ya can."
"But I've never raised the dead before. Not like that."
"Well, lobster poop balls, ya have now."
"No. That's not possible."
"Well, suck mango dick damn it, I here, talking to ya, so it looks pretty possible to me. I mean I would know eftah all. I one who twere dead."
"But I can't perform that ritual."
"Well... I am terribly sorry about that, ya did."
"But I faint."
"I tinks we has established that. Bullgaar twere right. Yis one hell of prissy, sissified pansy. Ya faint shit load ton. Course we will no has to be hearing de Dwarf says that of ya no more, seeings hows ya gone un cut his head off."
“What?”
It suddenly hit Quaraun, the fact that he was alone with Unicorn, with no sign of the bitchy Gnome or the complaining Dwarf anywhere.
“Where’s BeaLuna and Bullgaar?”
“Which parts of ‘em ya want to find?”
“What?”
“What I could find of them, is buried over dair.”
Unicorn pointed in the direction of two fresh graves.
“They’re dead?”
“Aye.”
“How?”
“Ya cut off dair heads.”
“No.”
“Ripped out dair hearts.”
“No.”
“I knew it was coming. I could see it for a while now. They bullied un tormented ya too much. I asked de Gnome to stop, many times. I tried to tell her, what ya is. What ya has done. She would no listen. Ya killed ‘em, like ya killed ya children.”
“I loved my children.”
“I know. But ya loved BoomFuzzy more.”
“They’re not dead.”
“They is dead.”
“No.”
“Ya killed our friends Quaraun, ya killing everyone un ya needs to face what ya done, before ya get worse then ya are.”
“I didn’t kill them.”
“Ya did. Un ya did it to resurrect me.”
"But I couldn't have done this to you...it requires a blood sacrifice. I can't...it takes blood to..."
"Crapper fucking tiger titties, ya did this to me. Un ya killed dem to do it. Blood, guts un all, unfortunately."
"No," Quaraun gasped, shaking his head and looking absolutely terrified.
"Oh aye."
"No." Quaraun sunk slowly to the ground.
“They call ya insane for reason, Quaraun.”
“No.”
"It seems ya had breaking point."
Volume 8: Into The Swamp Of Death
Quaraun wakes up in The Mournful Lamb Inn, with no memory of who he is or how he got there. Every one tells him he arrived covered in blood and collapsed, but no one can answer any other questions, save a gargoyle-like beast of a vampire, who tells Quaraun he is dead by suicide and wanders through the Swamp of Death, the holding ground between life and death, heaven and hell. The holding grounds for people too good for hell but too evil for heaven, as well as the place where lost souls wander until they can be set free: The Mournful Lamb being the resting place for murder victims and suicide victims.
Confused and alone, Quaraun tries to leave the inn, only to discover a vast barrier around it prevents any one inside from getting out.
The vampire tells him the only way out is to look into his own memories and seek out the truth: seek for the three friends, who never travelled with you, answer the question: why do always travel alone.
Unlocking his past reveal a horrifying truth: BeaLuna the Gnome, Bullgaar the Dwarf, and BoomFuzzy the Unicorn were never there - figments of his warped imagination or ghosts of the past, he can't tell which, but in all this time no one but Quaraun has ever seen any of them, for they are all ghosts who now haunt their murderer.
TRIGGER WARNING
This novel is about a murder-suicide, in which the suicide victim is found still alive.
This novel contains references to and graphic depictions of cutting, intentional drug overdose, suicide attempts, dismemberment, murder, and beheadings.
Some of these scenes are included in the free-to-read-online sample chapters.
Reader discretion is advised.
Possibly NSFW
BDSM YAOI
TORTURE PORN
BARBED KNOTTING WARNING
This novel contains one of the most graphically detailed and brutally violent CBT barbed-knotting torture/sex/rape scenes of the entire series. No part of this scene is available free-to-read online.
Reader discretion is strongly advised.
NSFW
The sample chapters listed below equal about 1/10th of the novel. No additional chapters will be made available free to read online.
The Mournful Lamb Inn
Everyone Is Dead?
Where Are Your Friends?
The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)
The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)
The Witch Massimara Of Mount Yenka
TYPE: Long Novella/Short Novel
WORD COUNT: 61,449 words
PAGE COUNT: 164 printed paperback pages
POINT OF VIEW: third person; Quaraun’s point of view usually; a few times from Unicorn’s
HAPPY EVER AFTER? no, this volume does NOT have a happy ending; character death ending
CLIFFHANGER ENDING: Yes. Sort of. Almost. This volumes ends with a sort of “To Be Continued...” that doesn’t actually continue
CONTINUING SERIAL? Yes; this is volume 8 of 130
INTERRACIAL COUPLES? Yes; a white skinned cross-dressing male Elf and his black skinned male Phooka lover.
Genre: Dark Fantasy > Sword & Sorcery > Bizzarro > Literary
LITERARY FICTION WARNING: This entire series is Slice of Life Vignette Literary Fiction, meaning there’s a lot of dialogue, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, a lot of monologue, and a lot of emotional introspective, but not much action going on in this heavily character driven series. Each story is a narrow focused look at a single event (often a single day or hour) in Quaraun's life.
The Space Dock 13 WebRing
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What do you want to become?
What did you do today to step closer to that goal?
Whatever you do, be your best at it!
And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!
~EK
EelKat.com
pinterest.com/eelkat/
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the destruction of my farm, and the illegal selling of half of my land to Colliard, you shall lose your land.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my being homeless since 2006 - YES, I AM still homeless in 2023, you shall become homeless.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the backhoe driving over my house, you shall lose your house.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my car being cut in half, you shall lose your car.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my becoming crippled, you shall lose your health.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the murder of my son, your child shall die an equally horrible death.Evil men go out of their way to try to drive a person to suicide.
Are you an evil man?
Are you sure you're not?
How many people have YOUR hate filled words killed?
Next time you go to do a mean thing to a fellow human, stop and really think about the consequences of your actions.
Did you ever notice how every one has a story to tell about me, yet not one of them ever speaks the truth?
What lies has YOUR gossiping tongue spread about me?
Did you know...
October 16, 2006, bomb blew up my house because of YOUR lies.
August 8, 2013, the house which replaced the one the bomb blew up, was driven over by a backhoe.
November 14, 2013, my 8 month old infant son was murdered because of your lies.
November 14, 2013, I was beaten up, paralized for 5 months, spent 18 weeks relearning to walk, I'm now crippled for the rest of my life, because of YOUR lies.
Are you proud of what you have done?
Enjoy your eternity in Hell. You earned it. You've certainly worked hard for it.
~EelKat
If you have any information about any of these events, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
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