~o0o~ Chapter ~o0o~
Unicorn called for the waiter to bring Quaraun a jug of ale, then went back to his argument with ZooLock. Quaraun ate quietly as he listened to the Phooka and the Thullid argue. Quaraun was so intently listening to his companions argument that he did not notice the young human soldier stride up to their table and stare intently at the three non-humans. Quaraun, as he did in every tavern, was not sitting in any of the chairs, stools, or benches provided by the tavern, but rather was sitting on an ornate, gold gilded, throne, covered with pink velvet cushions.
“Why are you sitting on a throne?” The solider asked.
“I'm a king.”
“Not a queen?”
“I'm the Grand High Emperor of the Triple Planets.”
“You're hair's touching the floor,” the young man said not letting Quaraun finish.
“Yes. I know. I have not cut my hair in three hundred years.”
“Are those real?”
The Human reached out and pulled on Quaraun's foot long ears.
Quaraun slapped the Human.
“How dare you touch me!” Quaraun screamed hysterically. ”No body touches me! I do not like being touched.”
“Are you an Elf?”
Quaraun was still screaming and not listening to the soldier.
Unicorn looked up at the young man and exclaimed: "Oh my! A tasty looking human. Look how him justs, brings hisself right over to us table for me to eats him!"
"You are not eating the humans," Quaraun scolded.
"Oh pooh! Suck a cock dick damn it!""
“Do you eat Humans?” The wide eyed Human asked.
"I'm sorry," Quaraun said to the young man."He's a Faerie, their ways are different."
"I've never seen any of you before," the soilder said.
"No," Quaraun answered. "We just arrived. We only stopped for a meal and a place to sleep for a few hours. I hurt my leg outside of town, otherwise we wouldn't have stopped at all. I need to rest before we can continue. We will be on our way once we are done eating. Except he's never done eating, so we could be here a while."
The man looked around the room nervously, as though hoping to not be overheard, then pulled a chair up to their table and whispered to Quaraun: "You're new in town, right?”
“Yes. I just said as much.”
“That means you didn't commit the murders."
"Murders?" Quaraun asked.
"Sssshhhhhh. Not so loud." The man looked around the room, then whispered: "I need your help."
"You don't even know who we are."
"I know you are not murderers."
Unicorn burst out laughing. He laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and then fell out of his chair and continued laughing while laying on the floor.
"What's wrong with him?" The man asked.
"He's a Faerie," Quaraun said. "They do that."
"Oh." The man watched the Faerie as he continued to lay on the floor laughing uncontrollably.
"You were saying you needed our help?" Quaraun asked.
Quaraun kicked Unicorn.
"Stop it," he said to the Phooka.
Unicorn stopped laughing for a few seconds, and then started laughing again.
"Is he all right?"
"Oh, yes, he's fine. Faeries are very emotional creatures. Ignore him and continue, please."
"My name is Mallac. I am the chief of the Burgermeister's guards and he has assigned me to solve the mystery of the recent murders, but I'm no detective. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know who I can trust, I need help..."
Unicorn sat up and pulled himself back up into his chair and said: "Un ya t'inks we looks likes, we be good upstanding, trustworthy, un-cannibalistic, non-murderous citizens willing for to helps ya, eh?"
"What be tripping ya up, dat we is cannibalistic or dat we is murderers?"
Mallac stared bugged eyed at Unicorn then sent a questioning glance back to Quaraun.
"Faerie," Quaraun said. "They say the first thing that comes out of their mouths, without stopping to think about what it is or how it sounds. Please, ignore him and continue with your story."
Quaraun popped a truffle into his pink painted mouth and waited for Mallac to continue.
"I don't know who I can trust and I've heard Elves are compassionate and willing to help those in need."
Unicorn started laughing again.
"Quaraun? Compassionate? Ha ha! Un willing to help! Ho ho, heh, ha!"
Mallac turned back to Quaraun.
"Faerie," Quaraun said.
"You are an Elf aren't you?"
"Yes. I am an Elf, but he's right. Faerie or no. You shouldn't trust strangers, not even an Elf. Especially not me."
"Why not trust strangers or why not trust Elves?"
“Why not trust Elves.”
“There do exist cannibalistic murdering Elves.”
“Have you ever met one?”
“You're talking to one.”
“Where is it?”
Quaraun blinked and waited for the Human's brain to register what he had said, but, Humans, being the idiots they are, this one being more idiotic then most, never once thought that Quaraun might possibly be referring to himself. Quaraun popped another truffle into his mouth, then straightened a few of the many rings that sat sparkling on his fingers.
"You don't know who I am do you?" Quaraun finally asked.
"No. Should I?"
"I don't know. Soilders tend to be the ones who put up the wanted posters and read the Guild's most wanted of the week messages."
"You'd think if any one knew a pink robed, Moon Elf wizard, it'd be a Burgermiester's guard, right?"
"You've never heard of The Pink Necromancer before have you?"
"No. Should I have?"
"You don't ever read those wanted posters you put up around the town then?"
"No. Why would I? It's not like anyone new ever comes to these parts. We're East. Everyone is heading West."
“We don't get many Elves around here.”
“We do have a gang half-Elves in town. Strange men. Wizards. Keep to themselves. Live in that creepy tower outside of town.”
"But you are an Elf?"
"I am a Moon Elf. You mentioned the tower..."
"Oh good. I wasn't sure. I'd never seen an Elf like you before."
"Because he's a Moon Elf," ZooLock pointed out. "Last of his kind."
"Yes I heard...uhm...her...him?" Mallac leaned closer to Quaraun. "I'm sorry. Are you a male Elf?"
“Do you think I'm a male Elf?”
"Yes. Uhm. I think. I thought you were a female when I started talking to you. I mean you look like... but your voice, you don't... you sound like... "
“I'm a male Elf with a female Jellyfish living in my brain. The Elf in me died centuries ago. The Jelly controls my body. I have the mind, spirit, and soul of a female. I just have the misfortune of living in a male body.”
“You're insane aren't you?”
“Yes, actually I am. I'm Quaraun the Insane, that's what everyone calls me these days. It's the name they put on the wanted posters. 'Quaraun the Insane: World's Most wanted Criminal. Extremely dangerous. Aproach with caution. Neceromancer. Always wears pink.”
“So are you male or female?”
“Does it matter?”
“Uuuhhmm... Why wouldn't it?”
“The only person who needs to know what my biological gender is, is the person I choose to sleep with. It only matters what sex I am to some one who wants to fuck me. And then it only matters if I actually want them to fuck me. He's the only the one allowed to fuck me.” Quaraun pointed to Unicorn. “And so he's the only one who needs to know what gender I physically am.”
“And that would be?”
“You want me to lift up my skirts and show you what I got between my legs?”
"Oh, uhm.. no...I thought... I'm sorry.... I didn't mean... I'm... I... I've never seen an Elf like you before. But the way you're dressed and the make up and jewellery, you look..."
"No, you were right to think I was a female...I do not dress as a male."
"Oh, well... uhm...why do you dress like a woman? If you don't mind my asking."
"I am a wizard of the Di'Jinn order. This is how we dress. We reject the gender of our birth, to embody the soul of both genders."
“I don't understand.”
“I'm a Thullid.”
“THAT is a Thullid.”
Quaraun pointed to ZooLock, who was just then using his longest tentacles to steal food off the plates of the next table.
“That's one of those squid headed Chaos Demons.”
“Yes. They are called Thullids.”
“You don't have a squid head.”
“No. Not all Thullids do. There are different types of Thullids. Some are Squids. Some are Octopus. Some are Cuttlefish. Some are Sea Cucumbers. Some are Lobsters. Some are Eels. I'm a Jellyfish. I will never get any bigger then the size of an apple, and therefore I will never grow large enough to have to hatch out of my host's body. I will forever look like an Elf. I will never have a Squid head. I'm not a Squid Thullid. I'm a Jelly Thullid. I am beautiful pink Jellyfish with long feathery purple ruffled tentacles...”
"So, you ARE insane.”
Quaraun sighed and went back to eating melba toast.
“But, you're a wizard, right? You said something about being a Genie."
"DiJinn. Yes," Quaraun sounded annoyed at having been interrupted. "I am a wizard of the Di'Jinn order..."
"So you ARE a wizard."
"I'm a Di'Jinn wizard."
"How is that differant from any other wizard?"
"It make him a elitist, egotistical wizard," Unicorn chirped.
"Will you go turn yourself into a Unicorn, run into a tree, and knock yourself out for a while?" Quaraun said to Unicorn.
Unicorn simply raised his mug, saluted the Elf and went back to drinking.
"He's a Moon Elf," ZooLock said to Mallac.
"Yes, I heard him..." Mallac started to answer.
"Why are you drinking that?" Quaraun demanded of Unicorn. "You're a Lich. You can't get drunk and you know it."
"No," Unicorn laughed. "But it annoyances ya un dat do be fun."
"Why can't he get drunk?" Mallac asked.
"He's dead!" Quaraun screamed.
"I thought you said he was a Faerie."
"He is a Faerie."
"But you just said he was dead."
"I think I'm confused."
"Of course you are. You're a Human. I'm a Necromancer. He's a dead Faerie. What is there to be confused about?"
"What?" Unicorn smiled trying not to start laughing again. "I sitting here, talking, laughing, drinking, not rotting in the grave being eat up by maggots wherest I shouldsest be?"
"He done tolds ya already, he bes a wizard of the Di'Jinn order. Did ya really expects of him to not has a dead thing sitting here with him?"
"Ya does'na knows what a Di'Jinn wizard is does ya?" Unicorn asked.
"You're dead?" Was all Mallac could think to say.
"He's a Moon Elf," ZooLock said once again.
"Yes, I heard you before."
"Ya do'na know who he is being, doose ya?" Unicorn said while trying to stifle a snicker.
"I am a Moon Elf," Quaraun said plainly as he began spreading chocolate sauce, pickle slices, and apricot preserves on his biscuits.
"A Moon Elf who likes, BoomFuzzy's chocolate covered apricots...and right now with extra pickles and ice cream. Boy is ya eating weird things lately, Quaraun."
"Does that mean some thing?"
"The Moon Elves are extinct," Quaraun answered. "They went extinct centuries ago."
"If they went extinct then how can you..."
"It means, that I am Quaraun the Insane, Last of the Moon Elves..."
"So you're like crazy or something?"
"Or something. I am Quaraun the Insane, Last of the Moon Elves, Ruler of the Di'Jinn, Murderer of Gibedon the Great, Master of the Dead, Commander of the Lich Lords, Resurector of the Black Dragon, most powerful and most feared Necromancer of all time. I am the most feared wizard on the planet. Lover to the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley. Grand High Emperor of the Triple Planets..."
"Huh. Never heard of you."
Quaraun sighed and went back to eating his meal.
“Can you help us?” Mallac asked the Elf.
"Tell me what you want."
"I need your help..."
"You said that...
"I'm the chief of the guards, of the..."
"You said that too. If you don't stop annoying me and needlessly interrupting my meal, I'm going to feed you to my Unicorn."
"You have a unicorn too?"
Quaraun sighed again.
"Humans are such idiots,” he muttered. “Just tell me what you want."
"There have been murders..."
"And you are not a detective, yes I know, you already said all of that. But what do you expect me to do about it?"
"You're an Elf."
"Yes, we have established that."
"And a wizard."
"Yes. Of the Di'Jinn order, as I have already told you. You're not telling me anything I don't already know."
"So you are smarter then an average Elf."
"Of course, I am. I'm smarter then everyone. I'm the Grand High..."
"Un arrogant," Unicorn added.
"And you are a Necromancer, you can call up the dead and find out who killed them."
“I can what?”
“You can call up the dead and find out who killed them."
"Well, That's debatable, but we'll go with that for the moment, except you did not know that I was a wizard or Necromancer, when you first asked for my help. So what did you think I could do then?"
Just then two more Humans, entered the tavern.
"Have you found anything?" one asks Mallac.
"No, but there are three strangers, just arrived in town. They know nothing of the murders. They know no one in town. I thought, perhaps, because they have no connections, no bias, no motives, They could help us. They have nothing to hide, no reason to lie to us."
Two more men, entered the tavern and joined the other three. The five town guards exchanged updates on their progress, or lack there of, and then discussed Mallac's suggestion that Quaraun, Unicorn, and ZooLock help them.
"They are talking about us," Unicorn said to Quaraun.
"Every one always talks about us, Unicorn. You should be used to it by now."
"I does not like people talking about us."
"Calm down, Unicorn."
"I wants to eats them."
"We are not here to eat the villagers, Unicorn."
"They are annoying ya."
"We don't eat things that annoy us."
"Ya said I could eat things that annoyed ya."
"A lot of things annoy me."
"Ya ate yar father."
Quaraun glared at Unicorn.
"What? Ya did."
Quaraun sighed and went back to his meal.
Mallac came back to their table.
"Will you help us?"
“Solve a murder?”
"Do we have choice?"
"Well, we can't force you, but we could lock you in irons if you refuse."
"Oh! Goody!" Unicorn began clapping excitedly. "Chain him up. I can fucks him better that way!"
"UNICORN!" Quaraun screamed.
"What? Ya likes being chained up while I fuck ya un ya knows it."
"Do you?" Mallac asked.
"He does," ZooLock answered.
"Did I give you permission to talk?" Quaraun growled at the Thullid.
ZooLock recoiled his tentacles and went back to nervously signing psalms of praise to the Sacred Pink Jelly Fish.
"Can we get back to the murders?" Quaraun asked Mallac.
"He does no like talking about hims sex life," Unicorn said to Mallac. "I on the other hand, loves ta talk about it."
Quaraun ignored Unicorn.
"Who was killed? How? When? Where? Why? Can you use your idiotically, stupid, useless Human brain long enough to tell me that much at least?"
Mallac pulled out a map and rolled it out on the table. The map was simple, not to scale, and badly weathered. Mallac pointed out the locations of each murder, in the order which they have occurred.
"It was a ritual killing," Mallac said. "We are sure of it. Each victim was cut palm to palm, all the way up the arms and across the neck. They were each left face down, left to bleed straight into the ground. There was no obvious trails in the dirt. It appears the bodies were killed where they were found and not brought from elsewhere. Until tonight, it had been one victim each night, but this time there were two deaths."
Mallac sat back and stared at Quaraun, waiting for the Elf to say something.
"Who died? What do you know about them?"
"The first victim was Gnnizllahuantyotleyog, a Dwarf.”
"That is a Thullid name," Quaraun said. “Why would a Dwarf have a Thullid name?”
“She was the daughter of the most prominent merchant in town. She was about to be wedded to the son of another prominent merchant, They were going to combine their establishments. We thought at first, that it was motivated by perhaps a third merchant who wanted to prevent the merger of two big shipping companies into one huge shipping company..."
"But you no longer think this?" Quaraun asked.
"No. The second victim was Axcolwbettlii.”
“Also a Thullid name.”
“He was a big sloth of a man. Not well liked. He had a farm outside of town. Kept children, orphans, you know, little kids, as slaves. Cheaper then farmhands, he said. A lot of people in town would have liked to see him dead..."
"And there was no connection between the two them? Other then both having Thullid names?"
"Nope, none as far as I can tell."
Mallac pointed to the third murder site marked on the map.
"Selliinsuji was the third victim.”
“Another Thullid name.”
“A young girl. Recently married. We found her here, same as the others, cut palm to palm, face down in the mud. Her family's farm is just over there, she was probably on her way home."
"What's that over there?" Quaraun pointed a large blacked out circle on the map, just off to the side of where Selliinsuji's body was found.
"That's The Black Tower," said Mallac.
Quaraun turned and looked out the window. He could see Black Tower from here.
“What IS Black Tower?"
"A tall tower built out of smooth black river stones. It's really ancient. I think it was part of an old castle years ago, but there's nothing but the tower standing there today. It was converted into a lighthouse for a few decades. An old half-Elf lives there now. He fancies himself a wizard, but he's, I don't know, he's kind of stupid. Can't do much in the way of magic, near as I can tell. He's the kind of guy who just wants to run around in a cape. He's got this strange looking servant, also a half-Elf, but not like any Elf I never did see before. Got hair yellower then if it had been painted."
“A Sun Elf?”
“Don't know Elf types.”
“Sun Elves have bright yellow hair that glows in the dark. And we meet a Sun Elf on the way here. GhoulSpawn. Used to call himself Glinter.”
“Don't know. Just know the old Elf is ancient and the young Elf has got yellow hair like nothing I've ever seen before and they both kind of crazy.”
“Hermits. Keep to themselves. Caught the yellow haired one stealing sheep a couple of times.”
“Yeah, not sure what he does with them.”
"Do you suspect him of being connected?"
“The yellow Elf? Nah. He's kind of crazy, but he seems harmless. I don't think he'd hurt anyone. Not sure what it is with him stealing sheep though. I think he steals corpses too.”
“Yep. Caught him a couple of times out in graveyards and fields with a shovel. Never seen him with no body, though. It's like he's looking for buried treasure or something. Strange fella, but nice enough whenever I've talked to him.”
“What about the other one? You said there were two half-Elves. Do you think he's involved?”
"HellBorne? HellBorne the Evil, Summoner of Darkness the Great and Mighty Overlord of the Evil Black Tower of the Dark Castle of Doom? Nah." Mallac laughed at the thought. "No HellBorne is harmless. Crazy as ten coots, but harmless."
"Someone with a name like HellBorne," Unicorn said. "Does no sound harmless."
"Oh, no. He changed his name to sound scary and spooky. He's like that. No, he wouldn't hurt anybody. I told you, he's an Elf."
"No, you said he was a half-Elf," Quaraun stated, as though half-Elves were scum of the Earth. "You didn't say half what else. If he's half-Human, that alone makes him prone to evil."
“Can an Elf be half something not Human?”
“He could be half-Faerie or half-Dwarf or half-Mountain Troll or half-Orc or half-Demon or...”
“Yes. Horrible thought.”
"I don't know what else he is, but he's an Elf, so I know he wouldn't hurt no one..."
"Are you of the opinion that being an Elf, precludes one from doing harm?"
"Well, yeah, I mean, Elves are Elves, they do nice things, like granting wishes..."
"Granting wishes? That's what Kelim said to me."
"An annoyingly stupid Pixie that reminds me of you."
"He asketh Quaraun to grantth him wish," Unicorn explained. "Just before his village went din-din to Pocket Lich."
"Him carries Lich in his pocket."
"You do?" Mallac asked Quaraun.
The Elf just smiled and said: "Yes, and my other Lich doesn't want to be in my bed tonight, otherwise he'd shut up."
Unicorn immediately stopped talking and sat as quiet as a grave.
"Tell me about HellBorne," Quaraun said to Mallac.
"He's just a crazy old coot. Got old and lost his marbles. You know the type. He's just a crazy old man who likes to scare the kiddies. Makes all kinds of lights go off around the tower. Fireworks and stuff. Smoke and nonsense."
"And yet he lives in something called Black Tower."
"Well, yes. Like I said. He''s trying to make himself sound all big and scary. He thinks he's a Necromancer. You know, evil wizard, black mage, army of zombies..."
"I know what a Necromancer is."
"Oh, that's right, you are one aren't you?"
“Yes, I am.”
“People like to go up there at night and watch the show. Some times they get drunk and come back talking about all these monsters and things...”
“Yeah. Like your squid buddy there, only bigger, more hulking, squatter, fatter, green skin, sort of rubbery looking...”
“Uoogal-Thorpe?” ZooLock asked.
“An Uoogal-Thorpe is a type of Chaos Demon, made out of Thullid larvae implanted into UmberHulks.”
“Hhhhm, yes. Nasty beasts. I wonder how an Uoogal-Thorpe got into this dimension?”
Mallac pointed to the site of the fourth murder.
"Ellreekii died here..." Mallac started to say.
"That is a Thullid name as well," Quaraun said.
"Elderly woman. An Elf, like you. Well, not like you. But an Elf. Wouldn't harm a soul. She was known for her generosity and kindness. Everyone loved her. Her husband was a merchant of rare herbs and spices."
"Yes, well, this is a sea port after all. Ships dock right down yonder." Mallac pointed in the direction of the coastline. A sea gull flew over head and screamed as if to emphasis how close The ocean was to them. "There's a lot of merchants in these parts. Merchants. Captains. Cut throats. Pirates. Scally wags. It’s the area for it. Yeah, stands to reason most folks in town have some connection to a merchant. That’s just the way it is in these parts. What with the ocean right there and all.”
A freckled, distraught boy emerged from an alley.
Mallac watched the boy nervously and waited for him to be out of sight before continuing.
"Well yeah, any ways, he died a few years back. Old age.. Nothing suspicious. Just a really old Elf. Her sons took care of her after he died and she used every penny she had to do good to those less fortunate..Not a sweeter soul in these parts. Can't figure out why any one would hurt such a sweet, kind soul."
"Ellreekii is a Thullid name. No Elf would name there child a Thullid name. She must have changed her name later on. What type of Elf was she?"
"Just an Elf, I don't know how you tell one from another. An Elf is an Elf."
"Indeed. I could say the same of Humans. You all look alike, can't tell one from another."
"Now you're just being rude."
"And arrogant," added Unicorn. "Very arrogant this one. He be a king ya knows? Went right to his head it did."
"You're a king?" Mallac asked.
"Yes," Quaraun answered. "Though I've no kingdom and no people."
"He killed his people," Unicorn stated.
"You...killed your people?"
"And he ate his father," Unicorn chirped happily. "Don't forget that."
"He cut my hair, burned my dresses, and killed my lover. Said he wanted his son to be a King, not a Queen. and he didn't like BoomFuzzy."
"What's a BoomFuzzy?"
"I a BoomFuzzy," said Unicorn. "His father killed me and now I a Unicorn."
"I don't understand."
"His name was BoomFuzzy," said Quaraun. "When he was alive he was a candy maker..."
"Drugged candies," Unicorn corrected. "Played fun with ya mind."
"He's a Phooka," Quaraun went on. "And an Elf Eater. He took up residence in our village, pretended to be a half-Elf and set up a candy shop, which was a false front for the fact that he was a serial killer who used candy to drug Elves, so he could kill them and eat them without them making a fuss."
"Plus ya drug yarself when ya eats drugged Elf flesh," Unicorn said cheerily. "Fun times!"
"So, you're both insane?" Mallac asked.
"Yes," answered ZooLock. "They most certainly are. and I'm their prisoner, not that anyone cares."
"But you're an Elf?" Mallac said to Quaraun.
"And he... eats?... Elves?"
"But you said he was your lover?"
"Don't try to think about it," warned ZooLock. "It'll mess with your mind. The worse part of it is the fact that he lets the Faerie drink his blood while they fuck each other. He's a sick Elf. Not right in the head at all."
"And you ate your own father?"
"So you're a cannibal?"
"No. I don't make a habit of eating Elves. It was a one time thing. A play on something he said once. He did not like BoomFuzzy. The villagers agreed with him. So I killed them and ate him.”
"So, you're a murderer."
"I am Quaraun the Insane, Last of the Moon Elves, Murder of Gibedon the Great, Master of the Dead, Lord of the Lich Lords, Resurector of the Black Dragon, most powerful and most feared Necromancer of all time. Most feared wizard on the planet. Lover to the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley... and you asked for my help in solving a murder. Who better to understand the mind of a murderer, then another murderer?"
"That...that actually makes sense," Mallac agreed.
An apparently foreign, happy girl walked by very slowly, bringing them out of their side tracked conversation.
"Now this Ellreekii, what did she look like?"
"She was an Elf." Mallac shrugged. "Elves look like Elves."
Quaraun sighed. "This is why I hate dealing with Humans. They are all so stupid."
Mallac was about to respond but Unicorn stopped him.
"Donna bother trying to defend ya honour. He be an incredibly arrogant Elf. He be so arrogant, that his ego has it's own pet ego. Ignore it when he tells ya, that yar race be the scum of the Earth and not fit to be ants under his feet. He is a king after all. His father raised him to see everyone as unworthy peasants. If ya really wants his help, just agree that ya is scum of the Earth not worthy to kiss his feet and he'll helps ya out of the kindness of his heart and in the knowledge that it be his duty as king to help those races not fortunate enough to have been born Elves."
"Do you do that?"
"I should probably point out that my real name was not BoomFuzzy, no matter what he says. I am King Gwallmaiic Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Leader of the Lich Lords. We is both royalty. Neither of us likes Humans. We both see the Human race as parasites to be squashed, but I is not so open about it as he is. I would rather just eat them and be done with them, while he would rather belittle them and use them as footstools, so either way ya is not dealing with anyone here who thinks very highly of Humans."
"What about him?" Mallac pointed his thumb at ZooLock.
ZooLock tried to answer, but Unicorn shoved him out of his seat. The Thullid fell to the floor and rolled under the table.
"He's a Thullid," Unicorn said. "Ya does nae fucking know what a Thullid is do ya, boy?"
"No, can't say as I've ever seen anything quite like him. He's like an octopus or something, right?"
"Most Humans, dub the Thullids as 'The Brain Sucking Squids From Neptune' Moon'. Thullids, eat Humans. They came from across the galaxy in flying ships. They are only here to harvest Humans for slaughter to be sent back to their home planet as steaks. Ya Humans is to the Thullid as cows is to ya Humans. Tasty with a side of fish, chips, and mushy peas. Hmmm. I've not had fish, chips, and mushy peas in ages. Do ya suppose they have it here?"
Unicorn got up and went to find a waiter to ask. Most of them had run off to hide, as the tavern was running out of food, trying to cater to the Lich's endless hunger.
"You're not sneaking away again," Quaraun said to ZooLock, who had crawled under the table and tried to get to the front door.
ZooLock glumly came back to the table and sat down next to his Elven captor.
"Now then," Quaraun addressed Mallac again. "Ellreekii. When I asked, what she looked like. I meant, describe her to me. Was she tall? Short? Pale? Dark? Blond? Redhead? Green eyes? Blue eyes?..."
"She had blue eyes?"
"No, she was blue."
"Every inch of her was blue."
"Blue skin, darker blue hair, blue eyes, really, really, wicked long blue ears. I mean long ears. Her ears must have been a foot tall above her head. Just like yours. Always wore blue gowns, all embroidered in silver and trimmed in white fur..."
"She's from the Deep North," Unicorn said as he came back to the table eating what appeared to be the arm of a waiter. "What ya is describing is the traditional dress of the Moon Elves."
"Except she was blue, not white," Mallac said.
"Frost Elves," Quaraun said.
Next Chapter: >>>
What do you want to become?
What did you do today to step closer to that goal?
Whatever you do, be your best at it!
And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!