The Journey Begins:

Chapter ??

Waiter, There's A Head In My Soup

(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)

(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)



The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
Volume 4 of 130

The Journey Begins:

Chapter ??

Waiter, There's A Head In My Soup

(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)

(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)


Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.

Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?


You can Find out more about the main characters here:


Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.

The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.

Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.

Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.

Reader discretion is advised.















By Wendy C Allen

eelkat_red_scarf.jpgWendy Christine Allen, 2019, able to sit up in a chair for the first time in years, and able to raise up my arm and wiggle fingers. This was when I started playing Witcher 3 on Twitch as part of my physical therapy to regain finger movement. Playing Witcher 3 daily from 2016 to 2019, is how I regained the use of my thumb and two for fingers on my right hand... it is also why I stopped playing Witcher 3 in 2019, once I had strengthen my two forefingers enough to start typing again.

Wendy Christine Allen, Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author, Artist, Illustrator, & Art Car Designer

Counting Down to the September 23, 2028 50th Anniversary of my first published book (September 23, 1978)

If you are here looking for The Twighlight Manor series, The Crystonite Wars series, The Wild Years series, The White Rock Asylum for the Criminally Insane series, The Twisted Tales series, the Captured By a MerMan series, The Space Dock 13 series, The Kats of Planet Ptarmagin series, the stories about Miss Citten the Eel-Kat, or the stories about Etiole... ALL of those series were combined and consolidated into The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane Pink Necromancer series in 2014, so ALL the different series, are now under one series title.

List of the published titles still in print:

The Index of over three thousand stories in The Pink Necromancer series

What the series is about, for those new here:

The introduction to The Pink Necromancer Series. 

If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:

My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.

As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.

There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.

The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.

There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.

Health update: August 4, 2026 - in recovery for 6 months+ (at least until mid-January 2027...all book and video game releases are pushed back at least 6 months) see video below for why...

@eelkat

health update #maine #disabilityawareness #wheelchairlife #wheelchairvlogger #multiplesclerosis

♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
@eelkat Health update: #chickenpox #bellspalsy #RamsayHuntsyndrome #paralysis #recovery ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
@eelkat

I seem to have had another stroke (during the night while I was asleep?) #stroke #paralysis

♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

Update Sept 3, 2026:

I am able to get around enough to take Koko to dog park... today is 29 days since getting out of hospital. My diet is still mostly liquid, but im eating some solid food again, but its like rice or soft mushy baby food type stuff because I still can not chew yet, though I can swallow again. My jaw is still not functioning good so im having trouble talking still. So there's been slight improvement to my mouth, throat, and jaw, but, zero improvement to my eye, which is a major concern, be Im almost fully blind right now. im legally blind since birth in my left eye, so I have no ability to fall back on using my left eye. My right eye is the one injured and my vision in it is "40% decreased" according to my doctor, but it wasn't good vision to begin with, and right now my right eye is not much different from my legally blind left eye. Which I why I have to have someone drive my car for me instead of me driving my car myself right now, which is very frustrating, because, being a female, I had to fight for over twenty years to be allowed to drive. I started sneaking out at age 31 and dressing as a man to go to Old Orchard Beach high school to get a ged, because us females are not allowed to go to school. And i was 37 years old when snuck out to the DMV and got a driver's permit and started going to college. I was 42 and 8 months pregnant when my family found out I was going to college and thats when I was punished by the backhoe driving over my house and my spine broken with a golf club and my baby born right then and killed with same golf club. So it's very frustrating now, so soon after finally being able to drive , to now not be able to drive because of an eye injury, especially after 14 years of being paralyzed from the golf club and not being allowed to have a wheelchair, again, because i am female and we females are simply not allowed to do anything. I hate the culture I was born into. I wish I had the freedom to go to school and drive a car the way American women do. I wish having my spine broken with a golf club and my baby killed with a golf club and a backhoe driven over my house was not how men in my family punishment women in my family for learning to read and write. Its so frustrating not being able to to drive again, so soon after 14 years being paralyzed, and being paralyzed by the golf club was the punishment for getting a driver's license back in 2013 after 30 years of men not letting me have one. I hate my family's culture and how they treat us women.

I get so sick of Americans telling me how they wish they could be a Gypsy… they are either misogynist woman hating pigs, or delusional idiots who haven't got a clue how shittily we Gypsy women are treated by Gypsy men, because no one in their righ mind who knows anything about Gypsy culture would ever want to be part of it. I hate that I was born a Gypsy. 

update sept 7, 2026

"You would not make a good teacher"... what does that mean, and why are there so many people on Railroad Ave and Western Ave and Cutts St why walk up to me and say that to me?

I find it very confusing. I have low functioning Autism (the Rain Man type) and so i have very little understanding of words beyond the basic ones, and i never went to to school, so I never learned maths or sciences, and I only had remedial classes at Southern Maine Community College, because I did not have an education to enroll with regular, I was there taking every reading and writing class they had to learn how to read and write, and also took speaking classes to learn how to talk (i spoke Shetland Scottish language because that was language my grandmother spoke but she died when I was 8 so I only knew that language to speak and write, and I was 37 when I went to college and 42 when I learned English speaking and I still cant speak English good yet), all the other classes I took were art painting and cooking.

So the phrase "You would not make a good teacher" makes no sense to me because it seems to imply that I am trying to be a teacher, but I don't have anything close to the education ti be a teacher, and im not trying to be a teacher. So I don't know why people keep saying this phrase to me and I assume it must have some sort of a slang meaning, but I can't figure out what it could be of why do these people keep saying it to me.

see video below for more information: 


@eelkat "You would not make a good teacher"... what does that mean, and why are there so many people on Railroad Ave and Western Ave and Cutts St why walk up to me and say that to me? I find it very confusing. I have low functioning Autism (the Rain Man type) and so i have very little understanding of words beyond the basic ones, and i never went to to school, so I never learned maths or sciences, and I only had remedial classes at Southern Maine Community College, because I did not have an education to enroll with regular, I was there taking every reading and writing class they had to learn how to read and write, and also took speaking classes to learn how to talk (i spoke Shetland Scottish language because that was language my grandmother spoke but she died when I was 8 so I only knew that language to speak and write, and I was 37 when I went to college and 42 when I learned English speaking and I still cant speak English good yet), all the other classes I took were art painting and cooking. So the phrase "You would not make a good teacher" makes no sense to me because it seems to imply that I am trying to be a teacher, but I don't have anything close to the education ti be a teacher, and im not trying to be a teacher. So I don't know why people keep saying this phrase to me and I assume it must have some sort of a slang meaning, but I can't figure out what it could be of why do these people keep saying it to me. #mainelife #biddefordmaine #maine #disabilitytiktok #Biddeford ♬ original sound Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

update Sept 15, 2026:

I have some slight movement in some my fingers again again after over a decade being paralyzed

you remember how I used to be a professional doll making, pattern designer, and embroiderer, back before I became paralized and before my son was murdered and being the backhoe drove over my house?

all my equipment, sewing machines, ect were all destroyed by the backhoe driving over my house, and I have been quardepelegic for over a decade because of it so could not use my hands to sew or draw or embroider, and so only continued to do my writing of novels since then because I could do that with dragon dictation software,

well, since 2016, I been playing Witcher 3 and don't starve video games on twitch livestream, one hand two fingers, as part of my therapy to regain nerve and muscle use of my fingers, and now after 10 years of that, I have somewhat more movement in my fingers and im thinking maybe I can try to do embroidery and doll making again, but not sure, anyways, now im rebuying all of my sewing and embroidery equipment that the backhoe destroyed when it drove over my house, and hopefully I can use my hand enough to embroider again.

waiting for stuff to arrive in mail, so soon I should find out if ten years of twitch gaming has given me enough muscle strength to use my fingers to embroider again.

update to the previous video, answering viewer question about lack of hospital vs broken spine

Wheelchair Fundraiser... I need to upgrade to a power wheelchair, the manual one just isn't enough anymore. But the power wheelchair is $25k. Yes, twenty five thousand dollars. Wtf? I can get a car for a quarter that price, why are wheelchairs so damned expensive? That's more money then I make in five years, so I need to start a fundraiser for it.

The Journey Begins

 is

a short Novel of only 100,000 words

(fewer than 180 paperback pages)

This chapter is...

Word count: 000

or

0 paperback pages.




The Journey Begins:

Chapter ??

Waiter, There's A Head In My Soup

(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)

(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)

<<< Previous Chapter:

~o0o~ Chapter  ~o0o~

"What if Ooloff is right?" Quaraun said to no one in particular.

"About what?" Unicorn responded.

"Me. Ghosts. Zombies."

"Does ya believe in Zombies?"

"No."

"Well, then, dair's ya answer."

"I don't believes Liches either, but here you are."

"Here I is."

"How are you here?"

"I start Lich making spell. Kill meself before it done. Un ya goes ahead un finishes it. Yis very good at de Necromancy, for someone who does no believe in dead t'ings."

"Do you see BeaLuna and Bullgaar?"

"Not right now."

"I know they're not here right now. I meant d you ever see them?"

"I soul bound to ya, Quaraun."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I sees whatever ya wants me to sees, Quaraun."

"You know, that kind of an answer, doesn't help me to believe you are real either."

"Maybe I is not real."

"Unicorn."

"Can ya prove I is real?"

"No."

"Well then, how ya know I is?"

"I don't."

"Here. Drink. Clear ya head."

"CLEAR my head? With Faerie Wine?"

Unicorn shrugged.

"Fog ya head then. Whatever. Do somet'ing."

Quaraun took the glass of smoldering green liquid from the Faerie and drank it. Unicorn poored Quaraun another glass and the Elf quickly drank that as well.

"Boy, ya must be quite de heavy drinker."

"What makes you say that?"

"Two glasses of Faerie Wine. Ya just guzzled dem down like dey was water."

On the other side of the tavern,  drunk little Halfling, jumped on on a table and began singing a poem about the Shire.

"What is that god forsaken noise," Quaraun moaned.

The Elf was slumped face down over the table. Unicorn wasn't sure if Quaraun was drunk, tired, sick, or all of the above.

"It a wee lil Halfling," Unicorn answered. "Him signing himself up a storm."

"Make him shut up."

Unicorn slid out of his seat and went to the Halfling's table. The tiny little humanoid was dancing gleefully, in between singing and reciting poetry.

"Me Elf be wanting ya to shut ya wee lil trap," the old undead Phooka said to the Halfling.

A few moments later, Unicorn returned to Quaraun's table and once again sat down beside the Elf. Quaraun was still slumped over the table and had not yet looked up.

"I can still hear him," Quaraun muttered through his hair.

"Aye. Him say ya was nothing but a no good son of bitch arrogant High Elf. Him told me to tell ya to fuck yaself."

"I won't have to, I'm sure you'll do that later."

"Of course I will."

"I have a headache."

"Dat mean I can no fuck ya?"

"It means I want that fucking piece of shit to shut up. I didn't come here to listen to poetry. If had wanted to hear poetry recited I would have come to a theatre. I'm trying to rest."

"On de table?"

"Leave me alone. I'm tired."

"We could rent a room."

"I don't want to rent a room. I'm fine, right here."

"I could fuck ya better in a room. More privacy."

"I don't need a room. I need a nap."

"I could fuck ya here at de table."

"You do and I'll ram my wand up your ass."

"Yeah. I know dat suppose to be threat, but I probably would like dat. So dat not incentive for me to no fuck ya on table."

"I just want that singing wretch to shut his fucking mouth."

"Dat be a long poem him singing. Will take him an hour to get t'rough it."

"Make him shut up."

"How ya propose I do dat?"

"I don't know. Think of something. You're a Trickster Faerie. You always think of something. You pride yourself on being the most annoying damned Fae on the planet. Do one of those things that you do. Just make him stop singing."



Hamsa
Eye of The Grigoi
Eye of the Watchers
Eye of God
Hand of God
Eye of Protection
Evil Eye
Gypsy Curse


Unicorn got up and once again returned to the Halfling's table. This time he stood and silently watched the tiny creature as it merrily skipped and danced on the table, in the beat to it's sing-song poetry recital. Unicorn walked slowly around the table watching the little creature's every move, listening to the song, picking up on the cues of his movements.

After a minute or so, Unicorn stopped moving and stood, silently, watching and waiting for just the right moment, and when that moment came, he swiftly pulled his machete from his hakama and lopped off the Halfling's head. There was a brief shrill gurgle shriek as the last stanza of the poem was cut to an abrupt hault.

At the sound of the Halfling's dying breath, Quaraun looked up for the first time. He sat staring and blinking, uncertain if Unicorn had actually just done, what he thought Unicorn had just did.

Unicorn pranced back to Quaraun's table and plopped the Halfling's severed head in the middle of Quaraun's plate.

"Dair. Him no more sing," Unicorn said cheerfully, proudly beaming over his work.

"That's not what I asked you to do."

"Ya tolds me to make him shut up un I did."

"You cut off his frigging head!"

"Aye. Un now ya can add it to ya head collection."

"I don't have a... oh." Quaraun reached into his bag and pulled out Gibedon's head. "I forgot about that. Why does everybody keep losing their head around me?"

BeLuna entered the tavern just then, back from her errands and was about to start one of her usual conversations with Quaraun when she saw the Halfling's head.

"Quaraun, why do you have a head in your plate?"

"Why do you say that so calmly, like this is normal every day thing to happen to me?"

"Well, uhm... you know... it kind of is."

Before Quaraun had a chance to answer, Bullgar joined the trio.

"Quaraun!" The giant Dwarf boomed. "There's a head in your plate!" 

"I hate my life."

"Who killed him?" BeaLuna asked. "You or the Phooka?"

"Him tolds me to," Unicorn answered.

"I did not!  I told you to make him shut up. I most certainly did not tell you to cut his head off."

"What else ya expect me to do?"

"I don't know, but I certainly wasn't expecting you to cut his head off."

"Well ya is Necromancer, ya put it back on."

"Necromancy doesn't work that way."

"Well, how ya explai me un her un him."

Unicorn pointed to BeaLuna and Bullgaar.

"I'm drunk and none of this is happening," Quaraun said as he poured himself another glass of Faerie Wine and drink it as quickly as he did the others.

"Are you drunk, Quaraun?" BeaLuna asked.

"Getting there, as quickly as possible," Quaraun answered while pouring a 4th glass.

"You didn't use to drink."

"I do now."

Quaraun held the glass in one hand and the bottle in the other, then tossed the glass asie and started drinking from the bottle.

"When did you start drinking?"

"When did BoomFuzzy die?"

Quaraun grabbed a wait servant by the arm.

"Bring me more Faerie Wine. I seem to have run out, and do something with that... that... there's a head in my soup.  Kindly remove it and bring me more soup. No. Forget the soup. Bring me three more bottles of Faerie Wine. And get that thing off my table. Thank you."

"Quaraun," BeaLuna asked. "You're not doing so good are you?"

"Oh, I don't know. Let me think. I'm wanted for murder. I'm on the run from the law. My lover is dead. My wife is dead. My children are dead. My people are dead. There's a head in my pocket, another head on my table, there's a dead purple Unicorn Lich sitting beside me grinning like a madman, a pink haired, green skinned Gnomish Ghost yip-yapping at me, and a brainless Zombie Mountain Dwarf staring at me. I'd say I'm doing just peachy."

"I think you're having a nervous breakdown, Quaraun."

"Ya think? Oh gee! I wonder what could have possibly tipped you off!"


<<< Previous Chapter:

Next Chapter:  >>>


Volume 4: The Journey Begins

Picking up immediately where The Night of The Screaming Unicorn ends... Quaraun continues on his way to Inuvik, intending to kill himself once he arrives home, only to find that in his 300 year absence, a Human village has been built up over the remains of the decimated Moon Elf village.

Quaraun's sanity wavers more than ever, as he questions the reality of his two traveling companions, both of whom he is certain he murdered years ago. Quaraun decides to head back to the coast in search of the Unicorn, but can't shake the feeling he's being followed. 

BeLuna the Gnome, oddly still alive these 300 years after the destruction of the Moon Elf Village and still sitting in the exact same spot where Quaraun had left her 300 years ago, joins the Elf in his search for the Unicorn.

Annoyingly for Quaraun, BeLuna disappears whenever any one else is around and is nowhere to be found when he crosses paths with a gang of Elf hating drunk Dwarves and again when Orcs show up.

Wandering aimlessly through the forest, lost and now accompanied by a disappearing Gnome and a silent Dwarf, Quaraun is at a loss to explain who his companions are or why they are following him. Rumors that the serial killing Pink Necromancer is now travelling the countryside building an army of Gnomish Ghosts and Dwarven Zombies doesn't help matters any.

Things are not right with Quaraun's two new companions, and it takes an Undead Unicorn to show the Necromancer there are some things no one else can see.



TRIGGER WARNING:

This volume contains heavy use of suicide, cutting, and depression  references, including graphic on page descriptions of cutting and suicide attempts.

If you suffer from depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or are easily upset by such things, it is highly recommended that you avoid reading any of this novel.

(Some of these free to read online sample chapters are NSFW)



The Journey Begins, is Part 2 of The Night of The Screaming Unicorn:

List of the currently available free to read online chapters:


Home Again



The Gnome That Refused To Stay Dead



Raped By The Mountain Dwarf



Alone Again



Bullgaar the Vulgar (NSFW)



The Dwarf's Wife



A Dwarf In The Night



Gnomes and Dwarves That Are Not There



The Enchanted Map



The Black Jaguar/The Phooka



The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley/That Bastard Murdered Me! Wait? Why Aren't I Dead?



The Double Dicked Unicorn



How To Properly Fuck an Elf



Humans For Dinner



Another Day, Another Town



Ooloff The Stupid



Oolong The Wise



Waiter, There's a Head In My Soup



The Orcs and The Necromancer (NSFW)









Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.

The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.

Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.

These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.

Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.

Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.

Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.

The Quaraun Series 

Meet The Characters:

Quaraun's World:

Characters:

Culture:

Magic:

The World:

The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane:  First draft/sample chapters from the  novels.

NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.

  • More sample chapters can be found here: (note, while these chapters are linked in chronological order, they are not continuing one to the next, they are chapters spanning from Volume 1 all the way to volume 119, of a series that has 130 novels/volumes.)

  • Pink Links are pages on this site. Green links go to the pages found on my DeviantArt account.

  • Chapter 1: King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish (Chapter 1 of the entire series)
  • BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  • The Dying Elf, Gibedon's Head, and King Gwallmaiic's Elf Eating Mansion
  • Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole
  • An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  • I Loved My Children, But I Loved BoomFuzzy More
  • Doe'Uan and The Lonely Elf
  • Finding Finderu 
  • Kelim Meets Quaraun The Insane
  • Pocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders Findaru
  • Captured By The Lich Lord 
  • An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit
  • The Lich's True Form Revealed 
  • Bullgaar the Vulgar 
  • The Enchanted Map
  • Waiter, There's a Head In My Soup
  • The Orcs and The Necromancer 
  • The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)
  • The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)
  • The Beginning of the End
  • The Witch Massimara Of Mount Yenka
  • Psychotic Dead Things
  • Six Days Earlier
  • There is no Mournful Lamb Inn
  • The Swamp of Death
  • The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  • Introducing GhoulSpawn
  • The Demon Cultists & The Coming of The Darkness
  • EelKat and The Kats of Planet Ptarmagin
  • The Moon Elves of Ivujivik
  • The Return of ZooLock The Great
  • The Gremlin's Warning
  • A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond
  • The Road To Witch Pond (Part 2)
  • The Road To Witch Pond (Part 3)
  • Santa's Dead Floating Body
  • Worms!
  • GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  • The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  • A Fourth Letter To Home - The Masochistic Elf With Stockholm Syndrome
  • GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  • The Strange Village or I Love The Smell Of Decomposing Bodies In The Morning
  • The Golden Rooster
  • Meeting Mallac
  • Serial Killer At Large
  • The Summoner of Darkness
  • Corsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries.
  • Visiting The Scene of Murder #1 With An UnGelded Stallion
  • I Never Wanted To Be a Wizard
  • Sheep Again
  • Back At The Tavern and Still No Shrimp
  • A Tavern Scene Part 3 - Quaraun, Unicorn, GhoulSpawn, - Time Travel, Chastity Cages, and Whores
  • Tumbling Down Stairs With Slutty Elves and Angry Liches
  • Where Are You Hiding That Horse?
  • The Hostess Twinkie Aisle of Biddeford WalMart
  • Quaraun Meets HellBorne The Evil
  • The Map of the Town
  • Quaraun Meets BatDude & Pigeon Poop Boy
  • Pepperell Square, Saco, Maine, In The Year 2525
  • No Goldfish, Today?
  • Chocolate Covered Elves 
  • Evil Elves 
  • How To Kill A Lich
  • The Lover's Triangle 
  • At Gremlin's House / Kill The Baby
  • I Am Not GhoulSpawn
  • Sheep
  • Santa's Letter to Satan 
  • Going North To Head South
  • Alone
  • In Black Tower
  • You've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman
  • "Sold! To Zebulon, for two million dollars."
  • The Last of The Moon Elves
  • FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been 

  • Answering Reader Question About The Quaraun Series:

    Behind the Scenes:
    A Look At How I Write The Quaraun Series...

    The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house. 

    The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following:

    • suicide
    • drug use
    • cutting
    • depression
    • polygamy
    • BDSM
    • sex fetishes
    • CBT (cock and ball torture) 
    • sounding
    • knoting
    • barbed penises and toothed vaginas 
    • monsters eating Humans
    • blood thirsty Faeries
    • Elves eating Elves
    • Faeries eating Elves
    • squid headed aliens eating brains out of still alive victims
    • medieval torture
    • schizophrenia
    • stockholm syndrome
    • sadism
    • masochism
    • rape
    • incest
    • dub-con
    • necromancy
    • necrophillia
    • ritual murder
    • flaying (skinning a person alive)
    • child sacrifice
    • cannibalism
    • bloodletting
    • vampirism (the mental illness, not the mythical creature)
    • crude language (including an excessive use of the words fuck, cock, dick, testicals, balls, scrotum, and penis) 
    • interracial relationships
    • M/m/m relationships
    • gay men
    • bisexual men
    • transvestite men
    • men who have sex with unicorns(horses)
    • tentacle porn sex with squid headed aliens
    • shape-shifter sex
    • ménage à trois relationships
    • double dicked men
    • tripple dicked penitration gay sex scenes
    • bananas, pickles, candy canes, unicorn horns, and glass wizard wands used as dildos
    • main character Quaraun is a man with 4 wives (one of whom is also his sister, another of whom is also his daughter)  
    • Quaraun has 2 male lovers
    • Quaraun has 4 children by his sister
    • Quaraun has 3 children by his daughter
    • Quaraun has 1 child that is the result of him raping a woman
    • Quaraun has 37 children by prostitutes
    • the primary secondary character, Unicorn, is a chemist "candy maker" and detailed instruction of how he makes his drugs, including recipes to do so are included in the novels

    The Quaraun series has been banned by the following:

    The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church 

    (1991) (Reason: too much sex)

    (Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014)


    The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine 

    (2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan)


    New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine 

    (2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)

    (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014)


    Fan-Fiction.net 

    (2012) (Reason: Too violent)


    Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine 

    (2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)

    (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint)


    Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government 

    (January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574) 

    (Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters  depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents)

    27 volumes of the Quaraun novels were forced to be unpublished/removed from Amazon by the government issued court order that cited these books as "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach"

    NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".)


    Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban.


    Sample Chapters of Many of the Novels Are Available To Read Online:

    Volume 00: 000000

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    Volume 24: The Dread Chant of the Fan Boys

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

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    Volume 23: The Return To Fire Mountain

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 31: The Crystal Palace of Mt. Demontooth

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive

    Volume 00: 000000

    106: The Haunted Lighthouse

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 108: Friends Are Forever

    (Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series)

    Volume 119: My Two Favorite People


    Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.

    Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn,  Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.

    With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].

    Reader discretion is advised.

    Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?


    Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.

    April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing. 

    October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html

    If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.






    While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.



    Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂

    And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭

    Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻

    eelkat_red_scarf.jpg

    Wheelchair Fundraiser

    @eelkat

    i just found out there is yet another bizarre rumour going around. where are these wild rumours coming from? who is starting them? and why?

    ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
    @eelkat

    since I've been flooded with hundreds of messages the past two weeks asking if I still own "the world's most haunted car", yes, and here it is, filmed today May 18, 2026… but my son Xavier is dead, i am crippled and given that people are AGAIN showing up calling my Dodge "haunted", calling my friend "an alien", calling me "transgender", and spreading wild defamation slander connecting me to Stephen King, I think I need to start taking down the contact information of every blogger, podcaster, youtuber, and social media account spreading these rumors, and sue every single one of them for CAUSING my car to be cut in half May 10, 2010, for CAUSING the backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013, for CAUSING my son's murder November 14, 2013, for CAUSING me to be crippled and in a wheelchair November 14, 2013, and for CONTINUING to CAUSE harassers to show up in person to harass me near daily, STILL now in 2026. EVERYONE telling you my car is haunted, telling you my friend is an alien, calling my car "the goldeneagle", calling my friend "Etiole", or trying to connect me or my car to Stephen King, is lying to you. They crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, and a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet identified the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club and the FBI believes that it is friends and family of the woman who did it, are the ones who started and spread the rumors saying my car is haunted, saying I'm an alien abductee, saying all kinds of similar bs about aliens, ufos, ghosts, witchcraft, demons, and Stephen King connections, even though I don't believe in ghosts, aliens, ufos, demons, and had never heard of Stephen King before 30k of his fans showed up in my yard trying to find my car! FBI believes the backhoe driver and the murderer are the same person and it is a developer who wanted my land and so started the Stephen King, ghost, and alien rumors all in an attempt to drive me off my land, and when it didn't work they drove a backhoe over my house, and when that didn't work they crippled me and killed my son. Why are they doing this? How do I get them to stop?

    ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author






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    Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.

    I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Ao3 Blogger | GumRoad | Medium Notd | OnlyFansTumblr | Vocal |



    Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

    My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....

    ... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.

    While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.

    eelkats_house_before_after.jpgMy house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since.

    The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground

    On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.

    She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.

    The attack also triggered labour.

    My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.

    Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.

    The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.

    The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.

    Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.

    Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.

    Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.

    Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.

    The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

    Clairescreenshot.pngIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

    The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

    zzzz999ClaireRed2016-screenshotIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

    The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

    Kendrascreenshot.pngIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

    Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

    I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.

    Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.

    Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.

    Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.

    In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.

    Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.

    But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.

    I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.

    Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.

    Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.

    I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.

    My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.

    Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.

    Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

    Important:

    Fraudulent sites are impersonating Wendy Christine Allen.

    • The ONLY official website for Wendy Christine Allen is www.eelkat.com

    Fraudulent social media accounts, particularly on Reddit and FaceBook are impersonating Wendy Christine Allen.

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    Any websites and accounts you find online that are NOT on this list are NOT Wendy Christine Allen

    All the writing prompts found here on my website, are also available in printed paperback editions, on Amazon.

    There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.