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November 14, 2023 will be the 10 year anniversary of the November 14, 2013 murder of my 8 month old infant son, at BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, Maine. If you have any information about who his killer is, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

NEVER FORGET:

My Son Was Murdered, The Killer Walks Free, Your Child Could Be Next!

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FAQ: What are the most visited pages on this website and how many visits do they get?

Several years ago, I wrote an article on how to write different types of magic uses, or rather how I personally write various types of magic users within the context of my Quaraun books. Today that page is one of my top ten most visited articles. It gets 50 to 500 views/reads/hits/visits per day depending on the time of the years and has had over 200k visits total since it was published.

Amphibious Aliens: Debunking The Atwater Family's Alien Abduction Hoax with more then 30MILLION reads since 2007 and The GoldenEagle: Debunking Stephen King's World's Most Haunted Car Hoax with over tenMILLION reads since 2007 still rank as the two most visited articles on my website, but, neither of those are writing related.

Writing Medieval Servants is my most visited writing related article with over 7MILLION reads.

This website was started in 1996 and has 1 to 3 new articles (all written by me, I am the only writer on this site) published almost daily. In 2017 we crossed ten thousand articles published. As of 2023, EACH article gets MINIMUM 10 to 70 reads PER DAY, with the high traffic articles getting 500+ reads per day.

And since December 2019, my website now gets three hundred thousand to 7 million reads per month - well over ONE HUNDRED MILLION PAGE READS PER YEAR, making it not only the single most trafficked site in the State of Maine, but also one of the most visited websites in ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!

{{{HUGS}}} Thank you to all my readers for making this possible!

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 TRIGGERED! I'm a Straight Cis Woman, but I am deemed Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach, Are you too gay for the bigoted, minority harassing, white power, gay hating psychos of The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall Too? 

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Where's the action? 
Quaraun FAQs

Where's the action?

There is none. Wait...what? No action in Sword & Sorcery? Yep. This is Sword & Sorcery without a single action scene. 

Quaraun is a classic Norse style nature guardian Elf (svartálfar, dökkálfar and ljósálfar – Quaraun being ljósálfar), not a modern day Tolkien-style arrow shooting, Middle Earth warrior Elf. If you are unfamiliar with Norse ljósálfar, and how they differ from Middle Earth Elves, than you may find Quaraun to seem vastly “un-Elf-like” if your only knowledge of Elves is the Middle Earth types. 

As in Norse mythology, there exist 3 types or classes of Elves in the Quaraun series:

High Elves aka Light Elves aka Angels (ljósálfar)

High Elves are inherently good and even Fallen ones (like Quaraun) are incapable to being evil. They are governed by the celestial energies (Sun, Moon, Stars, Clouds, Rain, etc) and have more powers over life and nature, then other types of Elves. They are nearly immortal and able to draw on their own life source to restore life to the dead and heal the sick, with nothing more then a touch of their hands. Rarely sleeping, instead going into a trance-like state, they are also able to heal themselves of wounds that would kill a Human. 

High Elves refuse to take life and become known as Fallen Elves if they have committed murder. The High Elves live in communities governed by their “careers”, with Spring Elves being the ones who melt snow, wake up flowers, and put leaves on trees each Spring. Summer Elves bringing the Sun's warmth closer to Earth. Winter Elves freezing the ground and bringing snow. Moon Elves like Quaraun govern the moon, having power over hurricanes, tides, and moon phases.

High Elves live disconnected from the Earth, only visiting it when their intervention is needed.

Common Elves aka Silver or Grey Elves aka Faerie (svartálfar)

Similar to High Elves, Common Elves and Fae possess mystical connections to the world around them, but are not as powerful. While they can heal the sick, they often are unable to raise the dead without use of ritual magic. They are the farmers and gathers who keep forests growing and fields filled with flowers. They live on the Earth, toiling daily to keep nature in balance.

Lower Elves aka Dark Elves aka Deamons (dökkálfar) 

While still having god-like powers over the world around them, Dark Elves and Demons are the least powerful of the Elves. They live in underground caverns and are prone to using blood rituals to increase their powers. They often view lesser beings (especially Humans) as nothing more then expendable tools.  While the High Elves and Common Elves help to bring light and order to the world, the Dark Elves bring Chaos, pain, sickness, death, and suffering.

Quaraun is a ljósálfar which is the equivalent of an immortal long haired, peace loving hippie. He wants everyone to be alive and happy and bubbling with life and light (even if they are already dead.) Quaraun believes love conquers all and world peace is possible (though he blames the Humans and their technology for most of the fighting in the world and thus considers Humans to be parasites that are hell bent of destroying the Earth). Quaraun is a nature guardian type of Elf who when sober enough to think straight, takes his job of protecting plants and animals (especially from Humans) very seriously. 

When not depressed and sulking in dark shadows of taverns drowning his sorrows in poppy milk, Quaraun is filling taverns with vases of flowers, sewing hearts on pink silk, redecorating taverns into frilly pink happiness, and putting potted plants and window boxes of pink flowers on every house he walks past. 

The primary purpose of Quaraun's wand, is to fill fields with flowers, and put blossoms on tree branches. If someone is fighting, he's gonna turn their swords into pink flower bouquets, then tell them to hug and make up. If you are looking for sword fights and battling monsters, you've come to the wrong place. This is written as a very slow moving, Slice of Life Literary story. It is Literary Fiction set to a Dark Fantasy setting. 

Yes, I know, it's insane to have a Necromancer who refuses to kill people and resurrects turkey dinners so vampire turkeys can roam free and is too busy dancing around in pink dresses to have time to help his fellow comrades fight dragons.

Yes. I know, sword & sorcery is supposed to be sword fights and wizards casting epic spells. But let's face it, life can't be one epic battle after another and wizards have to stop casting spells and relax at the local tavern sometime. Yes, battles are mentioned, no you never see them on page. This is the “behind the scenes” look at the life of a wizard, when he's just living his life and trying to relax in local taverns.

Yes. I know, it's never been done before, but that why I did it. I LOVE Slice of Life Literary Fiction. It is my favourite genre to read. I also LOVE Fantasy fiction. I wanted to read stories about Epic Fantasy characters which told what their lives were like between the action and when not questing. I could not find any Literary Slice of Life Fantasy Fiction out there and thus why I took up writing this series. I figured if I couldn't find the thing I wanted to read, then the only thing left to do was to write the stories I wanted to read and so I did and this series is the result. 

There is not a lot of plot moving these stories forward, so no sword clashing action goes on between these pages. These stories are driven by characters, emotions, inner turmoil, and monologue interrupted by sex scenes.

This entire series is Slice of Life Vignette Literary Fiction, meaning there's a lot of dialogue, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, a lot of monologue, and a lot of emotional introspective, but not much action going on in this heavily character driven series. Each story is a narrow focused look at a single event (often a single day or hour) in Quaraun's life.

Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.

The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.

Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.

These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.

Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.

Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.

Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.

The Quaraun Series 

Meet The Characters:

Quaraun the Insane

BoomFuzzy the Unicorn

GhoulSpawn the Crazed

ZooLock the Great

Quaraun's World:

Characters: Transgender, Transexual, Transvestite, or Intersex? What is Quaraun? Writing Demisexual Characters Advice On Writing A Bisexual Character  Writing Genderfluid Characters Writing Transgender Characters Giving Your Characters Flaws and Goals How long does it take for your characters to fall in love with each other? What makes a strong male lead? Fantasy Names From Real World Cultures The Reader Impact of Minor Character Deaths How to Write a Sleazy Male (Villain/Bad Guy)  Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers

Culture: What Makes An Elf, An Elf? Phookas Marriage In Elf Society What would happen if an Elf adopted a Human baby? One volume of the series has a 97% return rate? Here's why... Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series Need advice on how to write diverse characters. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series Accents in Dialogue How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer

Magic: Witches, Wizards,  Sorcerers, & How They Are Different Explaining Quaraun's 58 Piercings and Jewelry Obsessions  Bumbling Wizards and Their Spell Casting Side Effects High Elves Getting High Gypsy Colour Magic How to knock someone unconscious with magic? Necromancy: How will resurrection affect society as a whole? Child Sacrifice in Fantasy Novels Building a Magical System: A Questionnaire What is a God in Your Universe? Elves, Drugs, and Opium  Love Spell To Keep Your Boyfriend In Love With You

The World: What will a traveler encounter on the roads? Why is there a kitchen sink in my pocket? How To Write Slice-of-Life, Travelogue Style Literary Fantasy Books Writing Evil Unicorns Twerking Dragons Why do Lovecraftian beings come to earth? What number of continents are in your fantasy world? Did you know the town the series is set in is a real place you can visit? World-building In The Quaraun Series Calculating the weight of gold in AD&D Turning Scenes, Into Stories & Writing Travelogue Style Fantasy Books

The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane:  First draft/sample chapters from the  novels.

NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.

More sample chapters can be found here: (note, while these chapters are linked in chronological order, they are not continuing one to the next, they are chapters spanning from Volume 1 all the way to volume 119, of a series that has 130 novels/volumes.)

Pink Links are pages on this site. Green links go to the pages found on my DeviantArt account.

Chapter 1: King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish (Chapter 1 of the entire series)

BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell

The Dying Elf, Gibedon's Head, and King Gwallmaiic's Elf Eating Mansion

Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole

An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer

I Loved My Children, But I Loved BoomFuzzy More

Doe'Uan and The Lonely Elf

Finding Finderu 

Kelim Meets Quaraun The Insane

Pocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders Findaru

Captured By The Lich Lord 

An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit

The Lich's True Form Revealed 

Bullgaar the Vulgar 

The Enchanted Map

Waiter, There's a Head In My Soup

The Orcs and The Necromancer 

The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)

The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)

The Beginning of the End

The Witch Massimara Of Mount Yenka

Psychotic Dead Things

Six Days Earlier

There is no Mournful Lamb Inn

The Swamp of Death

The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin

Introducing GhoulSpawn

The Demon Cultists & The Coming of The Darkness

EelKat and The Kats of Planet Ptarmagin

The Moon Elves of Ivujivik

The Return of ZooLock The Great

The Gremlin's Warning

A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond

The Road To Witch Pond (Part 2)

The Road To Witch Pond (Part 3)

Santa's Dead Floating Body

Worms!

GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka

The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death

A Fourth Letter To Home - The Masochistic Elf With Stockholm Syndrome

GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka

The Strange Village or I Love The Smell Of Decomposing Bodies In The Morning

The Golden Rooster

Meeting Mallac

Serial Killer At Large

The Summoner of Darkness

Corsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries.

Visiting The Scene of Murder #1 With An UnGelded Stallion

I Never Wanted To Be a Wizard

Sheep Again

Back At The Tavern and Still No Shrimp

A Tavern Scene Part 3 - Quaraun, Unicorn, GhoulSpawn, - Time Travel, Chastity Cages, and Whores

Tumbling Down Stairs With Slutty Elves and Angry Liches

Where Are You Hiding That Horse?

The Hostess Twinkie Aisle of Biddeford WalMart

Quaraun Meets HellBorne The Evil

The Map of the Town

Quaraun Meets BatDude & Pigeon Poop Boy

Pepperell Square, Saco, Maine, In The Year 2525

No Goldfish, Today?

Chocolate Covered Elves 

Evil Elves 

How To Kill A Lich

The Lover's Triangle 

At Gremlin's House / Kill The Baby

I Am Not GhoulSpawn

Sheep

Santa's Letter to Satan 

Going North To Head South

Alone

In Black Tower

You've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman

"Sold! To Zebulon, for two million dollars."

The Last of The Moon Elves

FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been 

Answering Reader Question About The Quaraun Series:

Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order

Fantasy World Building...Writing Fantasy Books  | World Building For Authors | My Answers To The Zaharam-Chapelle-Parunas  Ethnographical Questionnaire and More...

Answering Reader Questions About The Quaraun Series

Behind the Scenes:
A Look At How I Write The Quaraun Series...

Question Everything Before Putting It In Your World  The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house.  The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following: suicide drug use cutting depression polygamy BDSM sex fetishes CBT (cock and ball torture)  sounding knoting barbed penises and toothed vaginas  monsters eating Humans blood thirsty Faeries Elves eating Elves Faeries eating Elves squid headed aliens eating brains out of still alive victims medieval torture schizophrenia stockholm syndrome sadism masochism rape incest dub-con necromancy necrophillia ritual murder flaying (skinning a person alive) child sacrifice cannibalism bloodletting vampirism (the mental illness, not the mythical creature) crude language (including an excessive use of the words fuck, cock, dick, testicals, balls, scrotum, and penis)  interracial relationships M/m/m relationships gay men bisexual men transvestite men men who have sex with unicorns(horses) tentacle porn sex with squid headed aliens shape-shifter sex ménage à trois relationships double dicked men tripple dicked penitration gay sex scenes bananas, pickles, candy canes, unicorn horns, and glass wizard wands used as dildos main character Quaraun is a man with 4 wives (one of whom is also his sister, another of whom is also his daughter)   Quaraun has 2 male lovers Quaraun has 4 children by his sister Quaraun has 3 children by his daughter Quaraun has 1 child that is the result of him raping a woman Quaraun has 37 children by prostitutes the primary secondary character, Unicorn, is a chemist "candy maker" and detailed instruction of how he makes his drugs, including recipes to do so are included in the novels

The Quaraun series has been banned by the following: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church  (1991) (Reason: too much sex) (Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014) The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine  (2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan) New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine  (2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014) Fan-Fiction.net  (2012) (Reason: Too violent) Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine  (2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint) Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government  (January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574)  (Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters  depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents) 27 volumes of the Quaraun novels were forced to be unpublished/removed from Amazon by the government issued court order that cited these books as "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach" NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".) Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban.

Do you agree? #reading #quote pic.twitter.com/t3VjaM6UE7

— Janneke Jobsis-Brown (@JJobsisBrown) March 1, 2018

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Sample Chapters of Many of the Novels Are Available To Read Online:

Vol.1 Night of the Screaming Unicorn | Read Online Chapter Index

Vol.2 Kelim and The Necromancer - Chapter Index Volume 5: The Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain Vol.8 Quaraun and the Vampire Into The Swamp Of Death - Chapter Index Vol. 11 The Summoner of Darkness - Chapter Index

Vol. 3 BoomFuzzy | Free To Read Online Chapter Index Volume 6: The Obsidian Idol of The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley Volume 9: The City of The Screaming Statues Volume 12: Captain Quirk & The Pirate Ship Rent-A-Prize

Volume 4: The Journey Begins Volume 7: The Vulgar Alchemist's Inn Volume 10: The Last Katopa Volume 13: King Gwallmaiic, The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley

Volume 00: 000000

Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 24: The Dread Chant of the Fan Boys

Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Vol. 22. GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover - Chapter Index Volume 00: 000000

Volume 17: The Tower of The Shape Shifting Fuzzy Wuzzy Fluffy Bunnies Volume 00: 000000 Volume 23: The Return To Fire Mountain Volume 00: 000000

Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake

Volume 00: 000000 Volume 31: The Crystal Palace of Mt. Demontooth Volume 00: 000000 Vol. 37 Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Chapter Index

Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Vol. 35 The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears - Chapter Index Volume 00: 000000

Volume 00: 000000 Vol. 33 GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of the Pink Necromancer - Chapter Index Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000

Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer

Volume 00: 000000 Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive Volume 00: 000000 106: The Haunted Lighthouse

Volume 00: 000000 Vol. 59 The City of the Slushies Volume 00: 000000 Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada

Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 108: Friends Are Forever (Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series)

Volume 119: My Two Favorite People

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Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.

Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn,  Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.

With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].

Reader discretion is advised.

Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?

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Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.

April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing. 

October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html

If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.

What do you want to become? 
What did you do today to step closer to that goal?
Whatever you do, be your best at it!
And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!

~EK
EelKat.com
pinterest.com/eelkat/

By EelKat Wendy C Allen

If you ever made fun of or had any part in the destruction of my farm, and the illegal selling of half of my land to Colliard, you shall lose your land.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in my being homeless since 2006 - YES, I AM still homeless in 2023, you shall become homeless.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in the backhoe driving over my house, you shall lose your house.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in my car being cut in half, you shall lose your car.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in my becoming crippled, you shall lose your health.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in the murder of my son, your child shall die an equally horrible death. If you haven't got a child to lose, it will be a brother or sister or parents or spouse or whomever you love the most, and that you should know it was this curse which you brought upon yourself that killed them, they will die on exactly the 7 year anniversary of the very first time, you mocked the death of my child.

Evil men go out of their way to try to drive a person to suicide.

Are you an evil man?

Are you sure you're not?

How many people have YOUR hate filled words killed?

Next time you go to do a mean thing to a fellow human, stop and really think about the consequences of your actions.

Did you ever notice how every one has a story to tell about me, yet not one of them ever speaks the truth?

What lies has YOUR gossiping tongue spread about me?

Did you know...

October 16, 2006, bomb blew up my house because of YOUR lies.

August 8, 2013, the house which replaced the one the bomb blew up, was driven over by a backhoe.

November 14, 2013, my 8 month old infant son was murdered because of your lies.

November 14, 2013, I was beaten up, paralized for 5 months, spent 18 weeks relearning to walk, I'm now crippled for the rest of my life, because of YOUR lies.

Are you proud of what you have done?

Enjoy your eternity in Hell. You earned it. You've certainly worked hard for it.

~EelKat

If you have any information about any of these events, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322