One of the most popular articles I ever wrote was "Phookas", published on Squidoo in October 2007.
It is now August 24, 2017, 10 years later, and I am now great expanding up that original article.
The new expanded 10th anniversary update, appears first. Below that, you will find the original 2007 Squidoo article. Enjoy!
I was inspired to write the 10th anniversary update, after reading this Reddit post, which I decided to answer here in the update.
King Gwallmaiic: The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley; Necromancer King of the Faeries; Leader of the Lich Lords
A 2,000 year old Faerie, whose father was a Phooka and mother was an Aswang.
A Phooka: A Scottish Trickster Fae. Phookas are the single most feared, most dangerous, and most bloodthirsty of all the Fae - they are born in the form of swamp dwelling black furred Shetland Ponies with gleaming silver horns, long talons instead of hooves, and sharp fangs, but can shapeshift into any form. As tricksters, they delight in playing pranks and practical jokes. Their jokes can range from mildly annoying to downright deadly. They find Spanish Inquisition style torture to be hilariously fun and can keep their victims alive for many agonizing weeks.
Phookas delight in pretending to be sweet innocent injured ponies, then when someone stops to help them, they turn back to there little demonic pony true form, viciously stab the person to dead with their horn, trapple their entrails under their feet to feel the blood swishing through their toes, the eat the person, saving the skull which they skewer onto their horn and wear like a crown on their heads.
Most Phooka eat Humans, but a few prefer Elves and are known as The Elf Eaters. Being one of the many a types of horned Faerie horses, they are sometime referred to as "Evil Little Unicorns"
They refer to themselves as Phookas. Humans, however have a great many different names for the Phookas depending upon the region in which they live. Phookas can be found in most countries of the world and are also known as (depending on the culture describing them): Black Dog, Black Shuck, Bogart, the Bogeyman/Bogeymen, Boggard, Boggart, Boggle, Boggle Boo, Bogie, Bogle, Boo, Bogyman, Bucca, Bucca Dhu, Bucca-Boo, Buckie, Bug-a-Boo, Bugabo, BugBear, Chupacabra, Demon, Kelpie, Kelpy, Loki, Nursery Bogie, Pooka, Puc, Puck, Puk, Puka, Pukis, Pukje, Puuk, Pwck, Raven, Shuck, Thunderbird (Slender Man is an example of Phookas in modern creepy pastas).
Phookas are very vengeful creatures. They become extremely dangerous when offended, hurt, or angered. It is best to never get a Phooka mad at you as they can literally, physically turn themselves into your worst nightmare than take up residence under our bed or in your closet and torment you each night. (Remember the Bogart in the Harry Potter series? Same thing.)
Phookas can take any form. Common forms they take include: horses, ponies, eagles, vultures, rocs, rooks, wolves, panthers, jaguars, goats, bulls, and most any black bird or animal. Beware of black animals that appear unusually wild-looking, shaggy, are not native to the area, or are abnormally larger than they should be. Chances are they are really a Phooka in disguise. Due to their shape shifting ability that can change their coloring to blend in with their surrounding, thus seeming to render themselves invisible. Some Phookas, though not all, are able to breath fire or set fire to things at will. Any animals that suddenly breaths fire, is likely to be a Phooka in disguise.
One meaning of the word Phooka is: imaginary or invisible friend. This being due to the fact that it is not uncommon for them to develop a strange loyalty to a single human being, becoming that human’s friend and guardian, but only revealing them self to that one human and remain “invisible” to all other humans. They often live in an object owned by said being, such as a trunk or toy or or under the bed. A.A.Milne's Winnie the Pooh, in the books, was a Phooka that had taken up residence in a sick boy's teddy bear (quite different from the Disney version of Pooh Bear.)
If a child has an "imaginary friend" do not force the child to ignore it as that will anger the Phooka and the parents will soon die a horrible, bloody death. The Phooka will remain with the child it's entire life, protecting it fiercely, and upon that person's death, the Phooka will take up residence at the grave (becoming a Ghoul) or in the house (becoming a Poltergeist). Commonly mistaken for being the Ghost of the dead child (Ghosts are not real) it is actually the Phooka "becoming" the dead child after the child's death and protecting the child's territory from others, thus why the only way to "cure" a haunted house or grave is to bring in a priest training in dealing with demonic possession and exorcisms.
An Aswang: Aswangs are vicious blood sucking almost demonic shapeshifting Faeries from South Asia. Somewhat like a cross between a vampire, a succubus, and a boggy, these nightmarish creatures, delight in killing Human children and eating babies. They sneak into bedrooms and wait in closet or under beds, for the children to fall asleep, then snatch them from their beds. They leave carved wooden baby dolls in the place of the child they took. During the day, Aswangs take the form of regular "Human" townspeople. As regular townspeople, they are quiet, shy and elusive. At night, they transform into creatures such as a bat, bird (usually a crow), wild boar, black cat, or most often, a big black dog. They have glowing red eyes. Frequently they will kill the village's mid-wife, eat her body, then take on her form so that no one in the village knows the mid-wife is dead. This position then allows them to know who all the pregnant women in the village are. They will often kill the women, by ripping out their fetus and eating it along with the mother's entrails. Aswangs are considered the second most horrible and the second most feared of all Fae, after the Phooka.
For some unknown reason all Aswangs are female and breed with Phookas, likewise all Phookas are male and breed with Aswangs - Faeries are strange in this way, that they are able to be born always male or always female. Technically Phookas and Aswangs are the same thing, with the males having one name and the females having another.
King Gwallmaiic is what is known as a "wild" or "feral" Phooka. Meaning he is far more deadly and much more dangerous than a normal Phooka. He leads an army of deranged Dark Fae, that marches across the planet, viciously slaughtering and eating any one in their path. His army (when they were alive) were known as Daoine Sìth or just The Sidhe for short. After their deaths and resurrection, they became known as The Wild Hunt.
Gwallmaiic is known for his shark like blood frenzies, and piranha like ability to reduce a person to bones n under 8 minutes. He is a vicious monster in the truest sense of the word monster. He is not a man who "acts like a monster", but rather is an actual, monster.
In the final years of his life, he grew ill, his joints arthritic and muscles weak, his eyes silvered with blindness. Due to an inability to see his prey to catch them, he slowly began to starve to death.
The final year of his life he was living in agony, starvation having reduced the once feared beast to a crippled skeletal pony, that now truly was the injured little pony he had long pretended to be when catching prey.
He commit suicide in a Lich making ritual, and rose from the dead as a beast 10 times more deadly then he had been in life. He hired a Necromancer to murder his army and resurrect them as Liches.
Now the leader of an army of Liches. King Gwallmaiic continues his reign of terror. But now, there is no stopping him. Human armies have fought against the Lich lord and won, only to find that the Lich automatically resurrects after each death, coming back more powerful then the time before.
They are known as The Wild Hunt, an army of undead skeletal Frost Liches that bring frozen death to everything they touch.
Quaraun the Insane aka The Pink Necromancer
The shy, timid little (and very young) Moon Elf wizard who was attacked by an angry mob and left hanging, gutted and dying in a tree, in the Moon Elf village's attempt to capture the Elf Eater. But the Elf Eater, instead of killing the mortally wounded Elf, he rescued the injured wizard and killed the Moon Elves instead. After many months of careing for the wounded wizard, Gwallmaiic came to see the Elf first as a pet, later as a lover. (Gwallmaiic was still alive and not yet a Lich.) Miraculously Quaraun recovered from his injures (nearly a year passed before he could walk again).
Quaraun was not yet an adult at the time, still only a teenager, and thus seen in the Phooka's eyes as a child in need of protecting. Quaraun became the child that Gwallmaiic lastched onto, connecting their souls together. Usually a Phooka long outlives the child it protects, but within a decade, the ancient Phooka died, leaving the Elf devastated at the loss of his best friend. (Whom others saw as being imaginary, thus why they called him "Quaraun the Insane"). Quaraun, already one of the most powerful wizards the world had ever seen, turned to Necromancy and resurected Gwallmaiic as a Lich, then resurected Gwallmaic's army as Liches.
Quaraun now walks the world, a wandering vagabond wizard, with a Phookan Lich as his protector and companion. Because Quaraun is in possession of the Lich's phylactery, he can control and command the Lich, keeping it peaceful or sending it to lash vengeance.... because King Gwallmaiic is the most feared monster ever to walk the face of the Earth and Quaraun is the Necromancer who now controls his Lich form, Quaraun is now the most feared person on the planet, feared even more then Gwallmaiic was, now that he is able to control Gwallmaiic's attacks.
Ads by Amazon
Ads by Amazon