NaNoWriMo 2021 - New Untiled Quaraun Novel - being written live on Twitch - the WiP vomit draft for you to read as I write it is HERE |


You have reached Maine's largest and most trafficked website. 

The official website of Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies

As of February 2021, we are now getting up to 7 MILLION visits per day!

This is the home page of

Maine author, artist, Voodoo Priestess, Gypsy Queen, and art car designer:

EelKat Wendy Christine Allen

Chances are high, I'm the most famous person, you'll ever meet.

I am EelKat

The REAL Gypsy Witch Stephen King based his Thinner Gypsy witch off of

and owner of the REAL World's Most Haunted car,

the car Stephen King based his fictional Christine off of,

My family, we are the Gypsies you see in The Thinner, the movie was filmed on my farm,

Founder of The Procter & Gamble Boycott

EelKat of Squidoo, EelKat Voice of the Voiceless.

EelKat Etiole's Friend.

We are the Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, Scarborough, Wells, Kennebunk, Sanford, Bangor, and Palmyra, Maine.

This website started in 1996 and is updated, edited, and added to daily. (NOTE do keep in mind since the April 10, 2015 murder of my children, this site is no longer updated daily, and very few new writing articles are added any more - since 2015 updates have been about weekly and usually are about the continued ongoing investigation into the murder of my family.) 

As of 2021 it has more than 10,000 pages. However, only around 2,000 pages are indexed by search engines (robot blockers and/or passwords, prevent the rest from being findable by Google/Bing/Yahoo/etc.). Around 8,000 pages can only be accessed by clicking on direct links to them. The links are found on other pages on this site. Confusing? Perhaps. But whenever one of those difficult to find 8,000 pages gets traffic, I know that you are VERY dedicated in reading what I wrote or doing some stalker level digging to reach those search engine inaccessible pages and I'd rather not waste my time writing stuff for uninterested parties, plus it's fascinating to see how deep some people are willing dig to find every last word I wrote.

I published my first novel in 1978. Since then I have published 138 novels, 30 non-fiction books, 2,000+ short stories, a dozen plays, a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck comics, a few dozen novellas, and 10,000+ non-fiction articles.

I am asexual and famous for 4 decades of writing 100% sexless stories, laced in extreme blood-gore-and-violence. But in spite of that, in recent years, most people classify me as an Erotica author. I don't know why, as I've never written Erotica or even any sex scenes, and as I am a nun, raised as such from the age of 3, I wouldn't even know how to write sex or Erotica. If you came here looking for sex, BDSM, Erotica, or Dominatrix's, please return to whomever sent you and tell them to burn in Hell where their immoral ass belongs. Also, do tell me their name so I can put a curse on them, so they will never enjoy sex ever again, to punish them for spreading lies about me and connecting my name to anything related to sex at all. I find sex vile and despicable and want no part of your perverse degradation near me.

All of my fiction works are about Alien Elf Wizards who live in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. All of my non-fiction works are about the history of Maine, it's Gypsy Clans, and most especially Old Orchard Beach the town which was settled and founded by my family.

Most of these pages answer reader questions on the worldbuilding, character creating, plotting, writing, editing, and publishing process of my work. 

Others are on the history of my people, The Gypsies of Maine, our culture, our lifestyle, our cars, and our religion.

The rest of the pages are daily updates of the terrorist attacks by Maine's White Supremacists on my non-white family, including updates of the FBI investigation of the April 10, 2015 murder of my children.


Due to the murder of my family and the resulting court cases, police investigations, and FBI investigations, I no longer have time to daily update this website.

Likewise ALL novel, short story, and article writing projects are on hiatus.

All book releases, book signings, workshops, and convention appearances for 2015 (and unknown amount of time after) are on hold while the murder investigation of my family is ongoing.

Writing advice for the worldbuilding, character creation, and other writing how to articles are on hold.

From now on, the bulk of updates here will be about the investigation into the murder of my family.

No, NOT just THIS author website, not JUST the EelKat pename, not just self published books: ALL 15 (fifteen) of my penames are on hiatus, that includes traditional published books as well, newspaper reporting jobs, editing jobs, my work for Harlequin Romance Novels, my work for Disney... EVERYTHING is on hiatus. Every publishing house I work for, every series I write, every penname I write under: they are ALL on hiatus, ALL projects.

There is NOTHING being published under ANY penname, not for ANY series, not for ANY publisher, from 2015 onward. EVERYTHING is on hold due to the murder of my family. I do not know when or even if, any of the projects will be restarted or finished.

Yes, BOTH the magazines I owned are indefinitely shut down because of this as well, with no plans for either magazine to return. The publishing house I own is also closed to submissions from now on, we will no longer be publishing anything. It is unlikely we will reopen the publishing house either.

All book signing tours, workshops, letures, PAX events, ComicCon events, carnival/festival/state fair/car show events are also canceled. I will not be attending ANY of them. If a venue still has my name listed as a guest/speaker/etc it is because they've not yet removed it. I WILL NOT be there, no matter where it is! 


The ONLY thing continuing from this point on, is THIS website, where I'll post updates on the murder investigation, hopefully every week, but, you know how it is when 10 members of your family are beheaded, it's kind of difficult to have a schedule for anything anymore.

April 10, 2015 my 12 children were kidnapped,
from 146 Portland Ave. Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

May 15, 2015, ten of their heads were nailed to my door.

Do you have information?

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the 
Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case.

If you have information about the April 10, 2015 murder of my family 
or any of the attacks on our home and relatives, give it to him not me.
He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

There is no Mournful Lamb Inn

Into The Swamp of Death
(novel excerpt)


This novel is about a murder-suicide, in which the suicide victim is found still alive. 

This scene contains references to cutting, drug overdose, and suicide attempts.

Reader discretion is advised.

Possibly NSFW

Sample Chapter from:
Quaraun and the Vampire, Into the Swamp of Death
Volume 8 of
The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane

When Quaraun woke up again, he found himself alone, and racked his brain trying to determine what to make of last night. Did he see Unicorn last night? or was it just a hallucination? He could not be sure. The Vampire had drugged him and he could not be certain of anything. As he got out of bed, he realized that his whole body ached. The claw marks, bites, cuts, and scratches that covered his body told him that at least some part of last night was real.

Quaraun was too weak to get out of bed and drifted in and out of sleep for several days.

"I really hurt ya did I, eh?"

Quaraun looked up to see the Vampire sitting cross legged on the bed beside him.

"I did'na mean to ya know."

"Are you Unicorn?"


"You don't look like Unicorn."

"I is shape shifter. I can look like anything I want to."

"I liked Unicorn."

"Ya loved de Unicorn."

"I miss Unicorn."

"I is still me, no matter what I look like."

"What happened to you?"

"I died un it broke yar heart. Cracked ya right out of yar crazy wee lil head. Ya did'na tinks I could die. Did ya? Ya thought I twere Lich un nothing could kill me. It ripped yar poor wee lil mind apart when ya realized I could die. When ya learned, too late to prevent me death. Ya still do'na remember what happened do ya?"

"Unicorn's dead. You're not him."

The Vampire leaned over and kissed Quaraun's cheek. 

"Would ya rather have Unicorn or BoomFuzzy?"

"Unicorn was BoomFuzzy. BoomFuzzy was a Phooka in disguise."

The Vampire melted away replaced by what appeared to be a black skinned Scottish humanoid Fae, with a wild mess of black unbrushed frizzy braids and dreadlocks that hung to his waist and were stuck full of moss, bones, feathers, beads, ribbons, and twigs, that was Unicorn’s Humanoid form. His black eyes had no whites and no iris, and were like staring into two black bottomless pits. Unicorn could have passed for Human if not for his eyes, his piranha-like fangs, and the huge, fearsomely, sharp eagle talons which tipped each finger.

"I is Unicorn, agains. Ya rest. I'll's be Unicorn for ya. Yar memories will return un I fear what ya'll do when they have. Ya has done something terrible. Me poor wee lil peaceful pink Necromancer. Ya has never hurt anyone before. Not really. I can see that now. That's why ya could'na kill me on Fire Mountain. Ya has never killed anyone before. I do'na know hows ya got Gibedon's head, but I is now very certain, Gibedon did not die by yar hand. Ya have'na got it in ya to take life. When Massimara's Orcs murdered me, ya turned around un killed everyone in room. Every last one."

Unicorn raised the Elf's hand to his cheek, then began kissing Quaraun's fingertips as he spoke.

"Ya killed everyone, Quaraun. Not just Massimara un her Orcs. Ya used magic to kill Massimara un her Orcs. Just thought them dead un POOF! Dead they were. Blasted them into oblivion, powder un ash, they be nothing but nice big pile of dust now. But then I twere dead, un ya in state mind ya were in, turned on our friends with that ruby jewelled obsidian dagger. Ya slit dair throats un gutted dair bellies. Ya used Vampire making ritual to restore me life with dair blood, but eftahwairds ya could'na live with what ya had done to our friends un ya turned knife on yarself." 

Unicorn kissed the Elf's bleeding wrists. Quaraun could see the wounds now. There were horrible self inflicted cuts on his arms. The combination of the drugs and the blood loss, Quaraun was having trouble keeping his mind in focus.

"Me poor wee lil heart broken Elf. Come, ya have'na eaten in several days, let us go downstairs un get ya something to eat. Elves can'na go so long without eating as Phookas can." 

They went downstairs. Quaraun, still in a daze, leaned heavily on the Vampire.

"Unicorn's alive," said Quaraun.

"Is he now? Oh dear. We're back to that point are we? Did ya hear anything I said since ya woke up?" 

It worried Unicorn, that Quaraun was out of his senses so long this time. He had tried to kill himself before, but he’d never come this close to succeeding before. That fact that he couldn’t keep Quaraun conscious for long was troubling. And the fact that Quaraun forgot everything that had happened each time he whole up was worrisome and frustrating and Unicorn had little patience for repeating himself, yet, Quaraun seemed to have suffered serious brain damage this time, so Unicorn tried desperately to hold his temper.

“I needs ya to remember, Quaraun. Please try to remember, where ya is un what ya has done. It important.”


“Aye. Please try. Ya’ve done a terrible t’ing.”

“Have I?”

“Aye. Ya has.”

“What do I need to remember?”

“Look at ya arms.”


“Ya tried to kill yarself.”

“No. I didn’t.”

“Ya did. Quaraun, please look at ya hands. There is more then ya blood dair. Yis covered in blood, un it not all yars. I knows not what has happened to ya, but ya need to look at what ya has done. Ya needs to wake up out of whatever this is ya is in. Look around. We is not in a tavern. Can ya not see that?”

“This is The Mournful Lamb Inn.”

“No. There is no Mournful Lamb Inn.”

“Where are we?”

“We are in a graveyard in Baironi.”

“Why are we in Baironi?”

“I was very sick. I were dying. I died. It broke ya heart. Yis a Necromancer. Ya tried to help me. In de end ya did, but at great cost.”

“You are better?”


“Who are you?”

Unicorn sighed.

“Who do ya see?”

“A Vampire. You look like a gargoyle. A stone statue with wings. You’re sitting on a crypt. You’re a statue come to life. Where are we? Why is there a crypt in the Inn?”

The Vampire helped Quaraun to a seat, then held his hand up to stop the barmaid for pouring Quaraun a drink. "He needs clear head right now," he said to the girl, then turned back to Quaraun. "Ya said before yar friend twere dead."

"He was dead. I think. I don't know. I'm confused."

"Ahyah. Ya are. Un ya has been ignoring, not wanting to see or hear, everything I has said last few days. Have ya not? Oh, me poor wee lil Elf. Ya messed up yar mind bad, did ya? Well, I stick pink flamingos that one up, which is it? Yar Unicorn? Is he dead or not?"

"I saw him die, but then later, I saw him alive, after he had died. He was you. You were him. You are Unicorn."

"That what I been saying."

"How are you Unicorn?"

"Yis Necromancer, did ya not resurrect me?"

"No! I didn't! I can't....I...I...I don't know...I... I can't remember."

"That horrible ritual, resurrecting dead, is it not? Ya said so yarself."

" is. It's a horrible ritual, it's why I've never done it. I can't do it. There's so much blood involved. I have no stomach for blood."

"Indeed. Nor ya any head for it. Put ya right out of yar mind it did, did it not?"

"You can't be Unicorn."

"Why not?"

"Unicorn's dead. I can't perform that ritual. I can't hurt anyone. I don't like hurting anyone. I help people. I can't hurt people. I've couldn't. I haven't."

"Have ya not?"


"Yar dreams should tell ya answer."

"My dreams are confused."

"Aye, they are. More then ya seem to be aware of."

"I am increasingly confused."

"How do ya see me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Last night ya saw me as Unicorn."

"Last night? raped me."

"Perhaps, but I tend to tinks not."

"How can you say that?"

"Because ya greatly enjoyed it un ya saw me as Unicorn. The man ya love. Ya made love to me. Un I is BoomFuzzy un ya gave permission to whatever I wanted to ya."

"You drugged me."

"That's what Faeries do. Masters in art of drug making. Mushrooms un frog slime un wee lil rainbows in yar pretty silver head."

"You're a Vampire."

"Am I?"

"You look like a Vampire."

"Un is dair anything to say that Faerie can'na become Vampire?"

"All things can become Vampires. I made Vampire chickens once. And Lich lichen."

"Did ya now?"

"Zombie cows, Geese Ghouls, cornstalk scarecrow golems, brain sucking ducks, blood thirsty rabbits, I have a whole barnyard of undead things in my..." Quaraun looked down at the beaded heart hanging from his belt.

"In yar gruesome wee lil bag of holding, where ya also keep all dead bodies of yar people, yar wife, yar children, Gibedon's head...even pet DracoLich."

"I'm evil."

"Yis Necromancer, yis supposed to be evil. Sooner ya accept fact that yis nothing but black hearted bastard better it'll be on all of us."

"I kidnapped a pirate ship."

"I know. I helped ya."

"There's an entire crew of men locked in bottle in my pocket."

"I killed the Katopas."

"Ahyah. I wanted to run away with them. I tinks ya resented that."

"I've killed the entire population of three villages."

"That shit load ton of people."

"I used to be peaceful. I wouldn't have hurt anyone. What happened to me?"

"BoomFuzzy died horrible death un ya found his body un it broke yar heart. Un ya stopped being Quaraun, kind loving wee lil Elf who let people push him around. Instead ya became, Quaraun de Insane, terror of world. Yis more feared now then Gibedon twere. Gibedon twere most feared Necromancer since Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, un I has seen ya do things, even Elf Eater can'na do. Yar heart grew evil while ya were'na looking."

Volume 8: Into The Swamp Of Death

Quaraun wakes up in The Mournful Lamb Inn, with no memory of who he is or how he got there. Every one tells him he arrived covered in blood and collapsed, but no one can answer any other questions, save a gargoyle-like beast of a vampire, who tells Quaraun he is dead by suicide and wanders through the Swamp of Death, the holding ground between life and death, heaven and hell. The holding grounds for people too good for hell but too evil for heaven, as well as the place where lost souls wander until they can be set free: The Mournful Lamb being the resting place for murder victims and suicide victims.

Confused and alone, Quaraun tries to leave the inn, only to discover a vast barrier around it prevents any one inside from getting out.

The vampire tells him the only way out is to look into his own memories and seek out the truth: seek for the three friends, who never travelled with you, answer the question: why do always travel alone.

Unlocking his past reveal a horrifying truth: BeaLuna the Gnome, Bullgaar the Dwarf, and BoomFuzzy the Unicorn were never there - figments of his warped imagination or ghosts of the past, he can't tell which, but in all this time no one but Quaraun has ever seen any of them, for they are all ghosts who now haunt their murderer.


This novel is about a murder-suicide, in which the suicide victim is found still alive. 

This novel contains references to and graphic depictions of cutting, intentional drug overdose, suicide attempts, dismemberment, murder, and beheadings.

Some of these scenes are included in the free-to-read-online sample chapters.

Reader discretion is advised.

Possibly NSFW




This novel contains one of the most graphically detailed and brutally violent CBT barbed-knotting torture/sex/rape scenes of the entire series. No part of this scene is available free-to-read online.

Reader discretion is strongly advised.


The sample chapters listed below equal about 1/10th of the novel. No additional chapters will be made available free to read online.

The Mournful Lamb Inn

Everyone Is Dead?

Where Are Your Friends?

The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)

The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)

The Beginning of the End

The Witch Massimara Of Mount Yenka

Psychotic Dead Things

Six Days Earlier

There is no Mournful Lamb Inn

The Swamp of Death

TYPE: Long Novella/Short Novel

WORD COUNT: 61,449 words

PAGE COUNT: 164 printed paperback pages

POINT OF VIEW: third person; Quaraun’s point of view usually; a few times from Unicorn’s

HAPPY EVER AFTER? no, this volume does NOT have a happy ending; character death ending

CLIFFHANGER ENDING: Yes. Sort of. Almost. This volumes ends with a sort of “To Be Continued...” that doesn’t actually continue

CONTINUING SERIAL? Yes; this is volume 8 of 130

INTERRACIAL COUPLES? Yes; a white skinned cross-dressing male Elf and his black skinned male Phooka lover.

Genre: Dark Fantasy > Sword & Sorcery > Bizzarro > Literary

LITERARY FICTION WARNING: This entire series is Slice of Life Vignette Literary Fiction, meaning there’s a lot of dialogue, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, a lot of monologue, and a lot of emotional introspective, but not much action going on in this heavily character driven series. Each story is a narrow focused look at a single event (often a single day or hour) in Quaraun's life.

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