EelKat Wendy C Allen - Author Interview: Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Fantasy Author Interview

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Quaraun The Insane:
Volume 3 
(usually - I keep renumbering these)
Chapter 1
King Gwallmaiic &
The Sacred Pink JellyFish

Chapter 1
King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish

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Chapter 1
King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish

Chapter 1
King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish


Seven decades ago, the royal family of the Moon Elves was attacked by Thullids, with the King, his sister-in-law, and her infant son all becoming infested by a parasite that burrows into the brain, slowly eating it, and eventually taking control of the Elf's body. When the king's brother murders discovers his wife and son are dead bodies animated by the Jellyfish living in their brains, he murders his wife then turns on his son. The king rescues the infant and sends him away to live with a sacred order of wizard-priests known as the Di'Jinn.

Meanwhile terror is spreading across the globe as the Necromancer King Gwallmaiic and his army of Phookas, Dark Elves, and Liches, march across the world slaughtering every Elf in their path, only to suddenly vanish into the deserts of the Di'Jinn and not be seen for nearly a century.

Now 70 years have passed and the young prince of the Moon Elves is grown up and has returned to the village, wearing the neon pink robes of a Thullid priest. While the Moon Elves are up in arms over the many laws their prodigal crown prince is breaking, a mysterious gingerbread house falls out of the sky and with it a half-Elf named BoomFuzzy who literally has all but one Moon Elf eating out of his hands.

When the prince tells the others, it's not a gingerbread house, but a monstrous flesh-eating castle made of bones, they lock him in a tower calling him insane.

Blinded by their addiction to gingerbread made out of poppies and mushrooms, the Moon Elves sit idly by as the Elf Eater's army surrounds their village, and when they turn on the only person who can save them from the Necromancers trap, crown prince Quaraun, turns his back on his people and joins forced with The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, becoming the Necromancer's apprentice in a plot to kill every last Moon Elf who ever hurt him. 


Three Hundred and thirty years before Quaraun met Unicorn.

Quaraun was only recently returned to the Valley of the Moon Elves in the deepest regions of the Deep North. In his years spent with the Di'Jinn, he had grown accustomed to the warm desert and now back home for the first time since childhood, he had forgotten how cold his snow filled homelands were. He had also forgotten how stuck up and snobby his people were and how much they hated any, even minor, break from consistency.

While the Moon Elves could tell one from another, no one else could tell the Moon Elves apart. They took their need for consistency to alarming levels. Every Elf wore nearly identical tunics of silvery, icy blue with white embroidery. Every she-Elf word dresses of silver-blue colours. Every Elf had shoulder length hair of identical cut, and every she-Elf kept their long locks piled high on their heads. No one ever thought to not dress exactly like everyone else. No one ever thought to not look like everyone else. It simply wasn't done. In their minds, they had reached perfection. To deviate from perfection was to be inferior. Inferiority was simply not tolerated.

The Moon Elves of the Deep North were nearly cult-like in their adhesion in doing everything just exactly as every other Moon Elf in the village, and they were more then willing to kill any Moon Elf that dared stray from their carbon copy existence.

One thing Quaraun had forgotten, was how utterly insane his people were. When you live so many decades away from someone, you tend to forget the bad things and reminisces for the good. Quaraun couldn't remember any good, but he knew there must have been some. Everyone had good in them, Quaraun often said. 

Common Elves and Lower Elves in all their many dozens of races, were friendly and tolerant of of races and other species. This could not be said of the High Elves, not any more at least. In centuries past when Elves were common across the land, no Elf lived in fear, but the Elves were a dying species now and with so many bigger, stronger beings taking over the planet, the Elves had become fearful of their own survival. Once hundreds of races of Elves had walked the earth, but most were now extinct or fast in danger of becoming so. In an attempt to preserve the last few serving races of Elves, the Elves had begun to live in very isolated communities, shutting out outsiders, even shutting out other races of Elves.

Only a few thousand Elves now remained. In most cases, each race of Elf was down to only a few dozen left. Their numbers were fast dwindling as Humans spread like a plague across the earth. With a group about 500 members strong, the Moon Elves had one of the last, large Elf communities left, which farther supported their belief that they were superior to all other Elves. While the other races of Elves were dying out, the Moon Elves were surviving, a fact that inflated their already puffed up egos.

The Moon Elves lived in an arctic region only a few mile south of Santa's Village, which wasn't exactly in the North Pole, but it was far enough North that everyone said it was.

On top of the world and isolated with nothing but ice capped mountains, glaciers, and icebergs for neighbours, and only each other to tell themselves how great they were, the Moon Elves had long ago sunk into a genetic insanity caused by centuries of incest, that resulted in horrific blood lusts and violence, with the Moon Elves often turning to cannibalism out of nothing more then boredom. Whitest of the albino white High Elves, the Moon Elves based their superiority over others, by the near colourlessness of their skin.

The Moon Elves were whiter then the snow they lived in, and that made them better then any one, or so they said, because they were able to blend in with their snowy surroundings and nothing could find them to kill them. If your hair, skin, or eyes could be seen against a backdrop of snow, you were inferior and worthy of the death that came for you. When they started killing off the other races of Elves, they started with the darkest skinned races first.

The Moon Elves had been driven to the Deep North nearly a thousand years ago, in the great war between the High Elves and the Common Elves. Crowning themselves Kings over all life, the Moon Elves had taken to slaughtering all the other races of Elves in a fanatical cleanings of the bloodline. The war had battled on for decades, ending with the few remaining unannihilated races of High Elves, banding together with Common Elves, Dark Elves, and Blood Elves, in an attempt to drive back the psychotically deranged Moon Elves.

The problem with fighting the Moon Elves, was they didn't care if they died for their cause, nor did they care who they had to kill to prove they were right. They were zealous fanatics ready to die for their cause, and they were lead by a Necromancer King who was resurrected the dead of their fallen enemies to do battle for them.

The war would still have been raging on, had it not been for a blinding white light that flashed through the sky, followed by a huge silver ball, the size of a small planet crashing into the Atlantic Ocean and flooding most of the planet. Entire nations were wiped out. Many species simply vanished, drowned in the great flood. Dragons and Unicorns, once plentiful beasts, were now rarely seen. Nearly every magical race was brought to the brink of extinction, allowing Humans to take over the planet.

The Moon Elves retreated to the Deep North, while the few races to survive the flood banded together in a desperate attempt to rebuild their crippled world.

After many months of watery terror, the flood waters went down, and while nations tried to rebuild, a new enemy arose from the depths of the ocean. Sightings of strange tentacle beasts began to be reported by sailors. Stories of monsters pulling ships below the waves, and later resurfacing, the crew dead, their undead bodies animated, the heads of the dead men replaced by squids. The alien squid headed beasts soon left the ocean in search of more bodies into which to implant their young.

Soon the world forgot about the terror of the Moon Elves, as a new terror walked among them:

the Thullids.

The Sacred Pink JellyFish

Little was known of the Thullids, and where they came from was unclear. All that was really known was that these were the last survivors of a planet whose sun had blown up and burned it's solar system. Their goals however were very clear: capture all life and take control of the planet. Captives were divided into three groups: food, slaves, and host bodies for implanting young.

While the squid-headed Thullids were the ones most people saw, there were also bird headed and octopus headed Thullids, likewise easy to detect by their outer appearance, but what few people knew was there were others that never hatched out of their host's head, and walked among the world, undetected: the Jellies.

The most well known of the Thullids, were the Di'Jinn, a cult-like group of wizard priests whose one goal in life was to worship and protect a tiny pink Jellyfish, whom they called The Grand High Emperor of the Triple Planets. The Di'Jinn stood out among other Thullids by the bright pink robes they wore, all heavily embroidered with jellyfish like abstract patterns, an outward sign of their loyalty to the insane and immortal pink Jellyfish they worshiped. 

In the Temple of the Di'Jinn, sat one Thullid, ZooLock the Great, who had served the Grand High Emperor for millennia. It was his job, to carry with him every where he went, a small round glass bowl of water, in which lived a tiny pink Jellyfish, that was the ruler of all the Thullids. Dozens of Di'Jinn priests, trained as fierce warriors, guarded ZooLock, who guarded their precious pink Jellyfish.

For centuries, ZooLock stood at his post, until one day, rumour arose of an army of Liches from the North, and fear stuck the old Thullid's heart. As powerful as the Thullid were, they were no match for Liches, especially not Liches built by the evil Phookan Necromancer Gwallmaiic, King of the Faeries.

Everyone knew Gwallmaiic, The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, a power hungry shape shifting Phooka, who for nearly a thousand years, had been slaughtering Elves and Faeries and had recently begun targeting Thullid villages. Rumours were circulating that Gwallmaiic was looking for the Thullid's infamous Jellyfish king, and with the Elf Eater's army seen marching across the desert of the Di'Jinn, ZooLock gathered up the Grand High Empire and fled.

Terror seized every Thullid on the planet when news of the kidnapped jellyfish went out across the land, and try as they might, no one could find the squid-headed priest or his tiny pink ward.

A new war broke out, this time between the Thullids and the Faeries, but in the end, the king was gone and for centuries there was no word of what had happened to ZooLock or the sacred pink Jellyfish. Fearing The Grand High Emperor was dead, as the Thullids fell into mourning. 

Outside the Temple of the Di'Jinn a heard of wild ponies gathered. No one could explain where they had come from. They simply appeared one night. Thousands of little, miniature, shaggy black horses, no larger then goats. The roamed the desert of the DiJinn, in places no horse could survive, feeding on what, no one knew. At the head of the herd marched a the smallest pony of all. A strange looking pony with wild matted braids in it's mane and tail and a gleaming silver horn shining upon it's head. Where the DiJinn went, the tiny unicorn and it's mysterious ghost-like herd of Sheltand ponies followed.

One day, rumours began to circulate that the unthinkable had been done, and the Grand High Emperor himself had been implanted into the body of a host. Soon Thullid raiding parties were searching villages for Thullid Spawnlings in a desperate search to find their missing king. And every where the Thullid went, a small black unicorn followed, watching, waiting for the day when the Di'Jinn would return to their temple with their beloved sacred pink Jellyfish in tow.

While ZooLock himself was never found, the Di'Jinn stopped searching when they received a desperate plea for help from the Moon Elves of all people. Among other things, the Di'Jinn were known as great healers, and the Moon Elves had in their midst a mad child they knew not what to do with. A child that had 6 years prior, been attacked by Thullids and was suspected of now being a Spawnling.

The Moon Elves were used to insanity in their kin. It was natural to them. What wasn't natural was the small Elfling named Quaraun, only 9 years old, who one day walked out into the village and said to the other Elfings: 

“I wish you would drop dead.” 

Immediately they obediently obeyed, and every Elfling in the village dropped dead.

Where the child not the crown prince and only male heir of the royal family, the Moon Elf villagers would have stoned the strange child to death. In fact, they tried too, and his uncle the king, immediately locked the child in the tower of the Moon Elf castle then sent a message to the Di'Jinn. No one in the village understood this, for it was unlike their king to contact any outsider. He wouldn't associate with lesser races of Elves, let alone a demonic beast like a Thullid, and yet, here they were. The Thullid's infamous Di'Jinn priests, standing in their village, with the Moon Elf king, handing the only male heir over to them. It shocked everyone, and when the Di'Jinn returned to their temple, with Quaraun in tow, they called off their search for their missing pink Jellyfish, and focused all their attention on the Moon Elf instead. All around the Di'Jinn temple the armies little black ponies, watching and waiting.

Every day for seven decades, the little Moon Elf left the temple to watch the wild ponies playing in the river. All the ponies ponies kept their distance, save one: the one with the gleaming silver horn.

Then one day, when Quaraun arrived at the river, he found the Di'Jinn waiting...

The ponies fled in terror but few escaped the wrath of the Di'Jinn and the black unicorn watched in terror as the Thullids slaughtered his army.

The young Elf stood over the dead ponies in tears.

With the herd of ponies dead the Thullids turned upon the unicorn, but didn't live long enough to kill him. 

“You'll not kill my Unicorn!” 

Was the last words the Thullids heard.

The unicorn watched as every last Di'Jinn withered away and died in horrific agony, under the wrath of their beloved pink Jellyfish.

King Gwallmaiic:
Elf Eater of Pepper Valley,
Leader of The Lich Lords


All life in the desert was gone, save a small Elf wearing pink Thullid silks and a black Unicorn. The dazed and confused Elf turned around and walked out of the desert, and walked clear across the planet, making his way back home to the Moon Elf village of the Deep North, while the Phooka gathered up what little remained of his army and trailed along behind.

Years passed as the pink robed wizard priest, walked across the planet and everywhere Quaraun went, rumours gathered, of the Moon Elf Necromancer in Thullid clothes, and the bodies he left behind in every village he visited. In the years it took for him to walk back home, he had gained a reputation for being the single most feared being to ever exist: more feared then the Thullids, more feared then the Elf Eater himself.


Quaraun in his many decades living with the Di'Jinn had taken to dressing like them, and now wore very elaborately bejewelled dresses in brilliant shades of pink. He stood out starkly against the silvery, blueish white snow covered landscape. His hair, likewise strayed from convention, having having never cut it in several decades, Quaraun's silvery white hair, now reached to his knees.

Quaraun had only been a small child when the Moon Elves had sent him to live with the Thullid wizards. The squid headed aliens mages ate Elves and it was expected that they would eat Quaraun and the Moon Elves would be done with their troublesome little Elf. No one, save the king, had expected the Thullids to take the Elf in and treat him as one of their own, much less that they would train him in their dark magic arts and induct him into their elite wizarding society The Order of the Di'Jinn.

Upon realizing that Quaraun would never be eaten by the Thullids and that he was fast gaining a reputation as the most powerful wizard of all time, the Moon Elves decided it was time to bring him back into their society and undo the damage of his having taken up wizardry. The Moon Elves shied away from magic arts, seeing them as a great evil. They saw Quaraun's fast rising fame as a black eye against their culture, for the world saw Quaraun as a representation of his people and his people saw him as a freak and a corruption of everything they held dear and sacred. They determined they could not allow him to go on this way and must turn him back into a good and proper Moon Elf before it was too late and he became too set in his ways. They had requested his return several times and were surprised when one day he actually showed up, unannounced.

Quaraun was on his way home to the Valley of the Moon Elves in the far Deep North, after having lived so many decades with the Di'Jinn. Quaraun had speech disorders, was plagued with phobias, and was shorter, smaller, and thinner then every other Moon Elf. Seen by the others as a retarded, weak, runt in frail health, he had spent his early childhood being bullied and teased horrendously by the other Moon Elves. It was why he had killed them. Quaraun for what ever reason, had no memory of having killed anyone, not the Moon Elf children who'd bullied him, nor the Di'Jinn who'd raised him. He had also had time to forget what the villagers were like, how they had treated him, and they in turn, where not expecting to see a the crown prince return as a transvestite dressed in shimmering pink gowns, making him in their eyes, far more freakish then when he had left.

The Moon Elves had other reasons for requesting Quaraun's return. Reasons which they had chosen not to tell him about, for fear he'd remember how they'd treated him and not help them.

A thousand years ago or more, no one really knew the date, there had risen up a king. An evil, murderous, bloodthirsty, monster, who set out to killing every king across the globe. One by one the monstrous beast had slaughtered every King of the Realm of Fae, declaring himself King of all the Faeries. The creature was a bitter, angry Phooka. An evil trickster Faerie who thought there was nothing more delightsome then to watch his victims die horrible death at the expense of his often bloody, practical jokes.

King Gwallmaiic hailed from Fire Mountain of Pepper Valley, and he had an insatiable lust for eating Elves, and thus he became known as The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley. But after a thousand years of terror, the evil King vanished without a trace. Only to rise up again a few hundred years later as a Lich, unlike any Lich the world had ever known. He was not dead. No one could explain it. He was not fully a Lich and yet he had very Lich-like traits and powers. The horrors King Gwallmaiic had rained on Elven villages in his lifetime was nothing compared to the nightmares his reign of strange-near-undeath had brought. Millions of Elves fell in his wake and rumours said that he ate the flesh of every one of them.

The Elves of the Deep North had long thought themselves safe from this monstrous terror, but as the Elven villagers of the South became extinct, the Phookan King and his army of undead minions moved farther north. And now the aristocratic High Elves of the Deep North shuddered in terror as the undead Phookan army marched ever closer to their snow capped mountains.

As much as the Moon Elves hated their frail, transvestite prince, in his 70 year absence he had gained a reputation as the most powerful and most deadly wizard since the Elf Eater himself. Rumours said Quaraun was one of the few beings to ever meet a Lich face to face and live to tell the tale. Quaraun supposedly had a skill for getting close to Liches and killing them. Permanently, a difficult feat, as Liches were eternal beasts who could regenerate indefinably. It was the hope of the Moon Elves, that by having Quaraun back in their village, he would kill the Elf Eater f Pepper Valley and save all Elves everywhere or at least, save the only important ones: The Moon Elves.


Quaraun's life was nowhere near perfect. After having run most of the past several months, he was glad to be back home. The problem was that he couldn't remember who he was running from or why. He had no memory of the events of his last few weeks with the Di'Jinn and he didn't know why. Something horrible had happened, his mind kept telling him. But he couldn't remember what. He was running from something, that much he knew. He also knew someone was following him. Who and why, he did not know.

Quaraun was still a few days out from the village. His stomach rumbled, reminding him how hungry he was, as he looked up and focused on the main road, trying to determine which way was North. The road was vacant of houses. No buildings of any kind. All he could see for miles were snow covered fields and dense snow laden pine forests. It had been a while since he had last seen a house and several days since the last village. In places the snow was seven feet deep, it was difficult travelling. In his years living in the desert he had forgotten how cold and wet snow was. His wet silks stuck to his skin making it difficult to walk. And the further north he went, the deeper the snows got. 

The sun had started to sink below the treeline and Quaraun knew he had to find somewhere to bed down soon, and try to find something to eat. It would be too cold to travel once the sun had set. The frigid cold of the dead icy filled nights could kill any creature caught outside after dark.

As Quaraun pondered where to set up camp for the night, a herd of horses, with Phookan and Dark Elf riders galloped past him. His long silver hair whipped around his face and shoulders along with the ice crystals and chunks of snow that was kicked up from the speeding hooves. 

Quaraun watched the evil army of the Elf Eater as they passed. They were not long gone before he heard them stop, on come riding back. 

The army was lead creature unlike anything Quaraun had ever seen before, simultaneously hideous yet exotically beautiful at the same time. The beast was monstrous, every inch of it covered in long shaggy matted black fur. On it's hands were huge claws, sharp enough to lop off a man's head in a single swipe. It's teeth were fearsome, protruding like razors out of it's mouth, and long gazelle-like horns on it's head. The creature rode on a black stallion, with a gleaming silver horn growing from it's head, but as the creature approached, the horse and the beast both melted away, leaving behind only a small dark skinned man, now somewhat Human looking, and barely five feet tall. The shape shifter had a wild grin on his face and a devilish gleam in his sparkling black eyes.

“Ya be Quaraun, evil wee little Moon Elf, murderer of the Di'Jinn.” 

“I have killed no one.”

“Ah. Aye. Ya secret be safe un sound with me. I shall tell not no one person, nay what it be this t'ing ya has done.”

“What do you want?”

“To touch ya. Feel ya. Sink me cock deep inside of ya. Yis a lovely little Elf. Ya be so innocent, yet so evil. Ya yin un yan meld together so fabulously.”

“My what?”

"Yin un yan?"

"I don't understand you, and I don't think I want to."

“Yin un yan. Magic ya knows not of, but ya has. I can feels it. Ya be destined for great things, wee little Jelly Elf.”

The Phooka reached out and touched Quaraun's face.

“Kill him and be done with it,” said a Dark Elf who now road up beside them.

“Back off Gibedon. Never interfere with me work,” the Phooka growled. "Bother me again un I shall eet yas next."

“Gibedon?” Quaraun asked. “The Necromancer?”

“Aye, me apprentice, but the job be open for another iffy ya be wantisng it.”

“You're King Gwallmaiic.”

“Aye. I is.”

“Elf Eater of Pepper Valley. Murderer of millions.”

“Ya knows who I be yet ya be no afeared of me. I likes that. I likes that a lot. Strange Elf ya is. Yis scared of so mony t'ings, yet ya does na run from me. Why is that, eh?”

“Why would I be scared of you? You're nothing but a Faerie.”

"No t'ing but a Faerie. Aye. King the Fae I is. Most feared creature on this planet, un ya has no fear of me. Why ya no fear me?"

Quaraun knew that he was facing the infamous black hearted King of the Faeries, himself, and were Quaraun any other Elf, he would have been trembling in fear, but Quaraun had a bad habit of being scared of things he had no reason to fear, and not fearing the things he should.

"You're a Faerie. Faeries are useless gutter trash. Scum of the Earth. Almost as bad as Demons. No one who knows anything about Faeries has any reason to fear them. They resort to illusions, pranks, and trickery. They can't hurt you if you don't eat their food."

"True. But then ya can ne'er be sure ya has no eaten Fae food."

The little Phooka walked slowly around the Elf as he spoke. As short as Quaraun was, the Phookan king was several inches shorter, barely coming up to the Elf's shoulders.

“I can rarely get this close to ya.”

“Implying you've been close to me before?”

“Mony times,” the Phooka breathed as he moved close to the Elf, stepping up on his toes and kissed Quaraun's ear. “Und so lovely ya be. This be closest I has ever been to ya. I has wanted to touch ya for so mony years. Ya has ne'er let me get this close before.”

“I've never seen you before.”

“Oh ya have. Ya just do'na knows it. I be shape shifter. I be anything. Anyone. I be mony. I try for years to get close to ya, but ya be skittish un run away, every time.”

“Are you going to kill me?”

“If I were gonna kills ya, I would already has done it. I wants to fuck ya not kill ya. I is ever devoted follower. Pretty Pink JellFish, loveliest of all creatures. She went missing. To where no one knows. Rumour has it, she got implanted inside a Moon Elf. Pretty female goddess. Ruler of the galaxy. Imprisoned by the DiJinn. Escaped. Captured again. Now imprisoned inside the body of an Elf. I has done followed her for centuries. She went missing decades ago. I has mourned her loss ever since. Now I has found her again. She lives inside of yas. I worship the ground ya walks on. I always have. I always will. Before ya hads a body I could no touch. Now ya has a lovely body waiting to be fucked.”

"You think I'm the Sacred Pink JellyFish?"


"You're insane."

"Aye. But I loves ya still the same. Pretty little Quaraun. Yis insane yarself. Quaraun the Insane. Is that not what they calls ya?""

Quaraun did not know why, but he felt no threat from the creature and so made no move to get away, as the little Faerie pressed it's warm body close against him. Though Quaraun was a very short Elf, the Faerie was even shorter than he was and stood on the Elf's feet, then rose up on his toes to be eye level with the Elf. The Phooka was pushing his hard erection between the Elf's legs and it was arousing Quaraun, much more then he wanted to admit. Gingerly, Quaraun put his hands on the Phooka's chest and pushed him back a few inches.

“How do you know me?”

“I has hunted ya for years. Could ne'er catch ya. Then one dae I were wounded un ya saved me life.”

“I do not remember that.”

“And also I will never forget it. Nor will I fail to remember how ya saved, rescued, un protected what were left remaining o me army. I has worshiped thee faithfully for centuries un ya saved me when I could nay be saved."

"You think I'm a god?"

"Aye. Though me army does not."

Lich Art Images Provided By Amazon

“Your army?” Quaraun looked around at the motley crew of various Dark Fae, Dark Elves, Blood Elves, and undead creatures, which were gathering to watch what their leader would do to the young Moon Elf. “I have never seen your army before.”

“Ya did. In the desert of the Di'Jinn. Ya saw us. Ya fed us. And the Di'Jinn unleashed their terror upon us, ya unleashed ya terror upon them. We be indebted to ya. We'd all be dead now, were not for ya.”

“I don't know what your talking about.”

“Ya's an Elf after me own 'eart. Some dae ya will remember what ya did for the wee little ponies un when ya does, I shall be waiting for ya. Come Gibedon, we leave.”

The mesmerizingly beautiful black haired, black eyed Phookan leader turned and whistled at Quaraun, then grasped his privates in a lewd gesture.

"Ya're a pretty one," the Scottish hell beast said to Quaraun. "I woulds love to fuck ya wee lil bahookie."

Quaraun swore at him in Thullid, with a disgusted grimace, which made the Phookan leader laugh. He blew Quaraun a kiss as they road away, and Quaraun hoped he'd never see them again. Quaraun hated Faeries. No good ever came from associating with Faeries. Especially not Phookas. Worst Faeries of all.

Quaraun veered off the main road, into the forest to try to find a spot to set up his tent for the night. Quaraun wondered at seeing Phookas this far North. Phookas were southern beasts, normally inhabiting tropical cloud forests, jungles, and rain forests. Warm tropics were their home lands, jungles of the South Pacific, not these frigid high altitude arctic mountain ranges. Asian Demons, that had migrated to Scotland and made it their home. To find them here, just outside of Ivujivik, Quebec, worried Quaraun.


That night, Quaraun woke to find himself being dragged from his bedroll. Loud cheers and taunts enveloped him as his clothes were ripped from his body. He fought his attackers but they stripped him naked as they held him face down shoving his face into the snow. Someone forced his legs open and someone else knelt between his thighs. A rough, heavy hand was placed in the small of his back. A surge of wild untamed fear came over him and he fought harder with his assaulters. 

The Elf's scream hung in the air when he was penetrated hard, by who he didn't know. His body went rigid and trembled with the pain and humiliation of his predicament. His rapist made no attempt to go easy on him. There were too many of the king's men holding him down while the king raped him. His asshole was opening up and Quaraun learned to take the Phooka's entire cock until Quaraun could feel the Faerie king's thick balls slapping against his butt cheeks.

After a few minutes of agonizing pain his body started getting used to this new sensation it started to feel good. Really good. And that scared him even more. He didn't want to enjoy what was happening to him. The feeling of pain started to subside and Quaraun focused on how good cock started to feel while it was deep in his ass. After a few moments Quaraun stopped struggling. Having anal sex with a complete stranger wasn't like him at all, in fact, Quaraun had never had sex with anyone at all, male or female, but he simply could not ignore how much he was enjoying this.  

Quaraun tried not to think about the fact that the creature assaulting him was known for raping Elves, moments before killing them and eating their flesh but the thought could not escape him as fear built up in the pit of his stomach. Quaraun knew better then to give in to this, he knew he should fight, he knew he would soon be slaughtered by this gang of violent criminals, but it felt too good to try to stop them. His mind's objection to this horribly risky scenario was being overruled by his body's craving for more cock up his ass. He held his ass high in the air letting the Phooka fuck him. 

Seeing that the Elf had stopped putting up a fight, the Faerie king pushed his men aside, and now no one was holding the Elf down as the Phooka continued to ride him. Quaraun was a total anal slut and the Phooka loved it. Both men cried out in pleasure as they enjoyed the sensations of one another's bodies. Quaraun gripped his hands to the ground and pushed back hard as Gwallmaiic fucked him. Quaraun gritted his teeth and moaned. He had never experienced anything like this before. He hadn't known he could. He knew he didn't like sex with females, but the thought that he could enjoy sex with another male had never crossed his mind. Quaraun could feel his own large balls slapping up against his body as Gwallmaiic drilled himself deeper and harder into his bowels.

With another hard, deep thrust, the Phooka above him came down on all fours. He could feel the creature's warm seed flowing inside him.  As another load of the Phooka's sperm filled his bowels, Quaraun found himself shaking. Quaraun was so close to cumming. His asshole was wrecked from the harsh treatment and leaking cum and his orgasm that was building was turning into a painful blueballs. Quaraun needed to cum so badly, but what the Phooka did next, suddenly brought Quaraun back to his senses as he remembered who was doing this to him and the great danger he was in of being murdered the moment the Phooka finished fucking him.

"Ya likes that pretty t'ing." The Elf Eater whispered in Quaraun's ear, then took hold of the Elf's pointed ear with his teeth, tearing his earrings out and drawing blood. 

Blood gushed from the wound, running down his neck and staining the snow red. The Phooka licked the blood off his neck, then began sucking more blood from the wound.

"Mmm... ya tastes sooo good, pretty Sugar Pie," the Phooka laughed.

Quaraun was shivering.

“Is ya cold or frightened?” 

The Phooka pulled the Elf's cloths back on his trembling body.

This action confused Quaraun, and he became even more confused, when the Phooka once again bit him, this time on the neck, again drawing blood. Terrified that the Elf Eater was about to eat him, Quaraun snapped out of the lustful spell he'd been under and once again began to struggle against his attackers.

“Please let me go,” he cried out 

Quaraun struggled to get up, but the Phooka had a hugging grip on him and pushed him down to the ground..

“Ya wants this.”

"No!" Quaraun answered with a desperate scream.

"Ya knows ya do," the Phooka answered. 

"No! Stop!" Quaraun begged. “Please.”

“I is no gonna hurt ya, Quaraun. I knows that what ya tinking. Ya did'na start to fight me until I drew blood.”

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“Let me go,” the frightened Moon Elf wailed. “Please let me go.”

“Shhhhh! Tis alright. Lay back down un I will fuck ya again.”

“No! No please! Please let me go. Please.”

The Phooka kissed Quaraun's face.

“Do no be so frightened. I likes ya. I does no seek to harm ya. I wants ya to join me un me army. Ya has great potential. I can feel it. Ya be already a great wizard, but ya lack training. I can help ya with that. And ya can be me lover un share me bed. Ya'll like that, I can tell by how ya was acting just now whilst I was in ya. Ya a right a little slut ya are.”

Seeing that the Elf was struggling against their king, the men once again took hold of Quaraun. Loud voices yelled obscenities over him, and harsh hands griped at his wrists and legs. With sudden strength, Quaraun pushed the Phooka off him. Someone let go of a leg, which he used to kick as hard as he could, dislodging the second person that held his other leg. He jerked his arm free, tuned and belted the person holding his wrist. Then Quaraun scrambled to his feet and ran.

"You fucking son of a bitch faced whore! He broke my frigging nose!" Quaraun heard behind him scream, but he didn't slow down or give it a second thought.

"Let him go," Quaraun heard the Phookan leader say. "I do no want him hurt. I found out what I wanted to knows. I gots other plans for him.”


Quaraun made it back to his village without further incident, but when he arrived, his father was less then happy to see his son dressed in a dress and looking like a daughter instead of a son and immediately began arguing with him, and thus Quaraun never got a chance to mention his encounter with the Phookas or inform the village that the Elf Eater's army was travelling only two days outside from the village.

Quaraun had forgotten how much contempt his father and the villagers had for him and quickly regretted coming back. Quaraun had intended to tell them that the Elf Eater's army was only hours outside the village, but Quaraun was a scattered brained Elf and forgot things easily when distracted or nervous. And he was more scared of his father then he had been the beast that had raped him.

Outside the village, a pair of dark eyes watched as the others scolded, yelled at, and mercilessly teased to poor little Elf. Quaraun fled from the Moon Elves and ran crying to his old room at the top of the tower, locking himself in for several days.

"Poor Little Elf, so innocent, so pure, so easily corruptible," the Phookan king said to himself. Gwallmaiic then turned to his followers. "I will'na be needing ya for a while. Go south, raid the other Elven villages, but do'na touch these Moon Elves, not yet, not till I say so."

"What is your plan, sire," asked the Dark Elf who stayed close to the king.

“I want him in me army.”

“The pink sissy?”


“That Elf's no fighter.”

"That there, not be an Elf.”

“He looks like an Elf.”

“I can looks like an Elf too.” Upon saying this the Phooka shifted and changed into the form of a Moon Elf. “Judge not what lifes inside, by what the outside looks like, Have ya learned nothing from me Gibedon?”

“If that is not an Elf, then what is it?”

“Look at the clothes.”

“I am, he looks ridiculous. No self respecting Elf would parade around dressed like that.”

“Exactly me point. That not an Elf.”

“Then what is he?”

“Ya seen creatures dress like that before.”

“Those squid headed monsters dress like that.”

“Mmmmm. And that does no strike ya as odd?” 

“The Moon Elves' crown prince is eccentric.”

“The crown prince is eccentric,” the Phooka mocked the Dark Elf. “Unlike him, ya has brain Gibedon. Why dontcha use it, before ya lose it the same way him gone un lost his?”

“You're not being clear, Sire.”

“Not being clear,” the Phooka muttered under his breath. “It good thing yar good in bed un good at fighting for me, or I'd've eaten ya by now. Ya so damned stupid.”

“Forgive my ignorance, Sire, but I am only an Elf.”

“Him has'na got any brains in him head un him smarter then ya bes. Where dids we just follow him from?”

“The forest.”

The Phooka punched the Elf in the head.

“We dids just followed him half way 'round friggin' world from Desert of Di'Jinn, ya dolt.”


“So? Him were living with Thullids. Ya ever seen a Thullid not kill an Elf?”

“Not unless it was a Spawnling waiting to hatch... aaah. I see. That's why he wears Thullid clothes. He's not an Elf.”

“Aye. That there be a Thullid Spawnling, masquerading as an Elf. There ain't no brain in him head. Was eet up long time ago by that pink Jellyfish that living in that hollowed out skull of his.”

“Thullids are dangerous. They can't be trusted.”

“They be moe chaotic evil than a Chaos Demon, aye. And this one be unstable, but there be rumours among the Thullid that the Grand High Emperor of the Triple Planets has been implanted in a host body and walks among us. And with the way the Di'Jinn practically worshiped Quaraun, I id guessing their leader does be living in the head of that there Elf.”

“You need more then a hunch.”

“I got more then a hunch. I saw what he did to the Di'Jinn un I got a taste of his blood. That be a Thullid and there be a strong magic in this one. As a wizard, he be more powerful then Yis, Gibedon. I does no tinks he knows it. Him be raging volcano of destruction waiting to explode. And I want him on me side when he goes off."

~o0o~ The rest of this novel can be read here.

Interview With EelKat
On Writing The Quaraun Series

Old Orchard Beach's Nudey Shirts, Drug Dealers, Gangs, and Ivory Billed Woodpeckers -
Interview With EelKat About
The Real Life Town That Inspired
The Monster Porn Yaoi Novel "BoomFuzzy"
April 2 2016 Part 1 of 6

This novel was originally written on: 2007 & 2009 & 2012

This page last updated on: April 06, 2017



The Quaraun Series On Amazon:

I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.


Author Interviews
On Writing The Quaraun Series:

Author Interviews
On CosPlaying The Quaraun Characters:

Author Interviews
Reacting To Old Orchard Beach's
White Power Gay Hating Over Reaction Ban
Of The Quaraun Series:

The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.

Phrases he yells from the truck include:

"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"

"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"

if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"

He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"

My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autism - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalized several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.

After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here: and here:

This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.

As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.

If You Like The Quaraun Series You Might Also Like:

Writing Resources I Use When Writing The Quaraun Books:

Seeing How "The Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach" Court Order Requires Me To Put This Notice In The Front Of The Novels,
I Assume It Also Requires I Put It In Front of Novel Excerpts Posted Online As Well, so, Here It Is... 

Enjoy The Stupidity That Is The
Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine,
Where I Am Deemed,
In Their Words:

"Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach"
Because I'm The Author of The Quaraun Series.


The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane

(Added March 29, 2016)


EelKat Wendy Christine Allen


UPDATE: The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall has handed me a court order requiring I place a warning in my books, warning you that they have their heads stuck up their asses, I mean, warning you that this book was written by a non-white transgender author and contains non-white, LGBTQ characters, which the straight, white citizens of Old Orchard Beach find offensive because they never before took their heads out of their asses long enough to notice that there exist in this world non-white people and gay transgender men. The HORROR I have forced them to discover, when they took their heads out of their asses long enough to discover a non-white, transgender author has lived in their town since 1975!

As of January 4, 2016 ALL gay, transgender, and non-white authors, living in the white power, gay-hating town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine are now required to add a warning to the front of their books, warning readers that this book is a vile, evil, perversion of their senses because it contains non-white, minority, transgender, and or gay characters who by their very existence according to the white power, gay hating residents of the 99.9% white town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine do not deserve to live and should not be included as characters in books.

Because I am a vile, evil, non-white, transgender author who lives in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, I am now required by court order to place warning in my books, to warn readers that this book was written by a vile, evil, non-white, transgender author and there for may contain references to my vile, evil, non-white, transgender lifestyle, including to, shock, and horror, ACTUALLY CONTAIN


Non-white characters

oh, my, my, my, how evil of me to consider writing a book with a person of colour in it. And even worse, is the fact that...wait for it...

I've gone so far as to allow gay transvestite characters to be in my books.

How shockingly evil of me to offend the citizens of Old Orchard Beach, by including gay and transgender characters in my book. I have forced them to have to discover the horror that there exists non-white people in our town, and worse, have made them suffer the horrors of learning that LGBTQ citizens have the right to live. How evil of me. To punish me for the publication of the book you are now reading, they filled my home with sewage 3 feet deep and cut the heads off of my cats, drove a backhoe over my house, then beat me up and left me paralyzed for 5 months, during which time they hacked my online accounts of Kboards, NaNoWriMo, Twitter and other places and impersonated me, posting lots of shitty crap to try to discredit me and destroy my reputation. If you are one of my long time readers and followers, you no dought saw what transpired on KBoards and NaNoWriMo (I did not see it and still do not know what happened, seeing how I was in the hospital dying, while the hacker was taking over my accounts online.)

18 months later I am out of the wheelchair, relearning to walk and still refusing to unpublish my evil books containing non-white gay men and so now they have gotten a court order demanding the warning you are now reading, be placed in this book, because the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall (the plaintiff named on the court order – YES – an actual United States Government Organization has issued this civil rights violating court order, in blatant disregard to federal laws) believes that non-whites and gays and transgender citizens are so evil that they QUOTE “ought to be shot in the head” UNQUOTE.

The book you are now holding contains non-white characters, of the same vile, evil non-white race as the non-white author who wrote this book and because I am not white and have chosen to include non-white characters in this book, I am now required by court order to warn my non-white readers that this book was written by evil, vile non-white me and contains evil, vile non-white characters that will offend your holier then though piece of shit white asses. There, I am now in compliance with the white power, gay hating town of Old Orchard Beach's, civil rights violating court order. White trash has now been warned that non-white trash exists in this book.

The book you are now holding contains LGBTQ characters, of the same vile, evil LGBTQ existence as the LGBTQ who wrote this book and because I am LGBTQ and have chosen to include LGBTQ characters in this book, I am now required by court order to warn my LGBTQ readers that this book was written by evil, vile LGBTQ me and contains evil, vile LGBTQ characters that will offend your holier then though piece of shit straight asses. There, I am now in compliance with the white power, gay hating town of Old Orchard Beach's, civil rights violating court order. Straight trash has now been warned that non-straight trash exists in this book.

If you have any questions regarding this court order which violates the civil rights of people of colour, minority races, and LGBTQ citizens, please head to the State of Maine, Biddeford District Court and ask for copies of

Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574 and CV-15-58/CV-15-59

the Alfred Superior Court Docket #CV-15-299

and the Portland Superior Law Court Docket #YOR-15-253

Additionally, you can find more information by going to the Old Orchard Beach Police Department and requesting copies of ALL police reports made in regards to 144, 146, and 146a Portland Avenue, from 2001 to 2016 (approximately 300 reports).

Note, that the court order includes 4 interesting facts:

1: It states that transgender people in Old Orchard Beach are not allowed to own cats; the Town Manager confiscated my cats on this basis (the judge granted this). 140 families in Old Orchard Beach had a grand total of more then 500 cats taken from them via this court order.  Many of those cats are being returned to their owners, one head nailed to their door at a time.

2: It states that transgender vehicles are not allowed in the town of Old Orchard Beach and specifically that The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus be removed from the "perimeters of the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach" (the judge denied this)

3: It states that transgender authors, not be allowed to publish books featuring transgender characters, and contains a list of books, deemed "Too gay for Old Orchard Beach" that the Town Hall requested be removed from publication. The judge ordered the removal and unpublication of 27 of my books, and that the rest have this warning placed in them.

4: That LGBTQ, non-white, non-Christians, and Muslims, not be allowed to set foot in Old Orchard Beach (with one motel owner in particular claiming his right to confiscate the homes, property, and business of some 140 families in Old Orchard Beach, by right of his desire to put condominiums on each of their properties. Interestingly, this is the same man who drove a backhoe over my house in 2013.) Part of this was passed, with the judge ordering LGBTQ families not allowed to set foot in their own homes (not rentals or apartments - houses they owned outright and owed no taxes or mortgages on, with 140 families be forced out of their homes on January 4, 2016. He dropped the request to confiscate homes of LGBTQ citizens when FBI Agent Andy Drewer Arrived to investigate him and the 5 businesses he owns, for his connection to the bomb that blew up my house in 2006.) Three court houses later a different judge overruled the first judge's civil rights violating order, with LGBTQ citizens being allowed to go home October 18, 2016, after 10 months of living in their cars.

Want to know the names, phone numbers, business locations, and home addresses of all the cat murdering, transphobic, gay-hating, white powered people who are trying to ban all LGBTQ and non-white citizens from Old Orchard Beach? Then go to those 3 court houses and request to get copies of all 700 pages of The Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach Court Case of Old Orchard Beach vs Wendy Christine Allen. 

All names and contact information of all the white power, gay hating  town hall officials, police officers, public works workers, motels, businesses, motel owners, business owners, and the KKK's own lawyers, behind this introduction now required to being added to books containing gay or non-white characters can be found in those court orders and police reports, here after collectively known as “The Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach Court Case” or #TooGayForOOB for short.

In those court dockets you will find more then 700 pages of utterly fascinating civil rights violating, animal abusing, hate crime glorifying, anti-gay, white power, transphobic lunacy. I highly recommend you get copies of those court dockets and see for yourself, the REALITY of how utterly insane the gay hating, white power mentality of Old Orchard Beach, really is. 

Or if you want to meet me at Staples, and are willing to pay however much it costs to have 700 pages of copies made, you can get copies made of my copy of the court order.

Happy reading.

Welcome to Maine, where love wins, everywhere, except in the white power, gay-hating town of Old Orchard Beach. TIP: If you are looking for a great fun summer family vacation spot this summer: avoid the transphobic, animal abusing, gay hating, white power town of Old Orchard Beach. This town is only family friendly, IF your family qualifies as a “real family” which to them means: you are white, Christian, and have no connections to LGBTQ people whatsoever. Save your hard earned money and DO NOT come to Old Orchard Beach this summer. Don't bother wasting your hard earned money on the transphobic, animal abusing, gay hating, white power trash that thinks it's okay to discriminate against people based on race, gender, religion, or colour.

There. Now I am in compliance with the court order and you, my dear reader have been warned that this book was written by evil, vile, perverted non-white, non-straight little old me and contains non-white, gay, transvestite characters. Can I ask: Have you EVER seen a book ANYWHERE that the author's town required the author to place a warning in the book, for ANY reason? Can anyone say RIDICULOUS? Yes, the town of Old Orchard Beach is being utterly ridiculous. I think they forgot that Old Orchard Beach is a town in America and not it's own country.

So, if you are a transphobic, gay-hating, white power person who is offended by the existence of transvestites, gays, non-Christians, people of colour, and other things that tick off white power mentalities, then you probably want to avoid these books.

For everybody else who isn't a white power, transphobic, gay-hating jerk with their head stuck up their own white, Christian ass: I hope you enjoy reading these books as much as I have enjoyed writing them. And for those of you who don't enjoy this sort of book, well, enjoy those knee-jerks, I'm told you guys should be expecting quite a few of them.


End of introduction.

And yet...

The First Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances. It was adopted on December 15, 1791, as one of the ten amendments that constitute the Bill of Rights.

The Town of Old Orchard Beach is a United States Government organization. By banning books and forcing their unpublication, they have gone against The First Amendment to the United States Constitution. 

No law can give or take away the choice to commit suicide.

- Maggie Gallagher

The homosexual community has more acceptance in America than it ever has, and the suicide rate is as high as it's always been.

- Randall Terry

Eye of The Grigoi
Eye of the Watchers
Eye of God
Hand of God
Eye of Protection
Evil Eye
Gypsy Curse
Art Images Provided By Amazon

More pages you might like...

What do you want to become? 
What did you do today to step closer to that goal?
Whatever you do, be your best at it!
And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!


By EelKat Wendy C Allen

Books By EelKat
Currently Available on Amazon Kindle:


And why 27 books were deleted off Amazon after being banned by The Old Orchard Beach, Maine Town Hall, an American Government organization, on January 4, 2016, for being "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach".

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