Quaraun and Unicorn found themselves once again overlooking another murder site.
"Tonight's victim was Marissa," Mallac said. "Single she-Elf. Widowed three years ago. Her husband you killed a freak accident. "
"What do you define as a freak accident?" Quaraun asked.
"Stampede of bulls. "
"Stamped of bulls?"
"Yep, barreled right over him, Her youngest son is kind of slow. Stupid. Kind of, well, almost like you in a way..."
"The village idiot you mean?"
"Well I wouldn't put it that way."
"How would you put it?"
''Well, humph, I... well, anyways, she is very protective of her youngest son and after her husband died she couldn't run the farm on her own, not and take care of the idiot child too, so she sold the land and has been living off the money, here she is."
Mallac pointed to the body laying face down in the road, just ahead. A large pool of blood was forming around the body and had not yet soaked Into the dirt.
Quaraun stood staring at the dead sheElf and went into a trance like state as he stared at the blood. A few seconds later Quaraun was laying passed out on the ground.
"Great. There him go again," Unicorn muttered as he waited for Quaraun to come to.
'Is he alright?" Mallac asked, looking down at the unconscious Elf.
''Oh he be fine," Unicorn answered. "This happen all time. Every day. Few times a day."
"What just happened?"
"Him saw dead body."
"I thought he was a Necromancer."
''Then what just happened?"
''He faint at sight of blood. We go through this every day."
“But he's a Necromancer"
“Doesn't he work with blood and cadavers and stuff?"
"He does. It why we go through this every day. Him no stomach for dead things. Him way better in bed then him is in lab."
“But..." Mallac stared at the unconscious Necromancer. “How does he get any thing done?"
"With great difficulty,” Quaraun answered. "Help me up."
"What just happened to you?" Mallac asked as Unicorn helped the weak Elf back to his feet.
''I keep telling you, I'm in need of rest. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm injured. I have catalepsies. I have fainting spells. My corset's too tight. He put a damned chastity cage on me. And you won't let me rest. That's what happened."
“You're supposed to be investing this murder. Not laying on The ground,"
"Laying on the ground? LAYING ON THE GROUND! DID YOU NOT HEAR A WORD I JUST SAID!?! I fainted, you idiot bastard of a Human! I'm sick. I'm wounded. I haven't slept in days. I need rest. And investigating this murder isn't my job. It's your job. I've got half a mind to kill you and feed you to my Unicorn. You are so darned annoying!”
"Him be Human . What more ya expect?"
"Humans aren't usually this annoying."
"He be a white Human. They is worse then the rest. Him white Human in Old Orchard Beach, ten times worse then any other white Human yis ever meet. I should change me skin colour to be ten times darker. See how fast it takes the white power jackasses of this town to kill me today."
Unicorn promptly changed his skin colour to an even darker shade.
"Will you stop doing that!"
"Because I'm tired of the angry mobs of this town trying to kill us because you're black. And you're not even black to begin with. You're only being black to piss them off."
"You're trying to get a mob after us."
"Of course I is."
"Why are you trying to drive me crazy."
"Yis already insane. Me no thinks ya need much help."
"Will you two pay attention?" Mallac asked.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Quaraun shrieked at the solider.
"We have another murder here..."
"I DON'T CARE!"
"How dare you raise your voice to me, Elf."
"I'll raise my voice to any body I want, you damn fucking, Human."
"Igit almost as arrogant as ya be," Unicorn said. "Almost as white as ya. Must be something to do with ya skin colour."
"You're annoying me."
“Aye un ya canna do anything about it. "
“Because ya will no let anyone else touch ya un ya addicted to being fucked."
"You was not this annoying when you was BoomFuzzy. "
"Oh, no I was probably worse. I was being white back then. Had to act like stuck up holier then though white rich boy, ya know."
"Will you two pay attention to me?'' Mallac demanded.
Mallac had been talking the entire time the Elf and Faerie had been arguing, but neither Quaraun or Unicorn had been listening.
“Shut the fuck up!” Unicorn yelled at Mallac. “We is conversating.”
“I'm trying to show you...” Mallac went on, but no one was listening.
Quaraun was white and Unicorn was currently black, and they were both now making racists slurs at each other based on each other's skin colour. Neither were actually mad at the other, as this banter of picking on each other was a daily habit they had developed and often ended with the two of them in bed together. Mallac continued to try to draw their attention to the murder victim, but they were two busy arguing to care about what Mallac was saying. At last Mallac grabbed hold of Quaraun and forcibly dragged him to the body.
“Let go of me!” The enraged Elf shrieked.
“I'm trying to show you something!”
"Mallac! STOP TOUCHING ME! Why don't you just do your job and leave us alone?" Quaraun said.
"Did you hear anything I just said?"
''What do you then no?"
"No. means, no.. I don't know what Else it could mean."
"Why weren't you listening to me?"
“I was talking to my Unicorn.”
“He's not a Unicorn. He's a nigger.”
“Why are you bothering us?”
“You are supposed to be listening to me!”
''I was not aware I had to."
"When I talk, you listen. That is the way it is.”
“BECAUSE I'M IN CHARGE! I'M THE SUPERIOR COMMANDER HERE. YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A TWO BIT ELF, AN INCOMPETENT DIME A DOZEN WIZARD. I'M IN CHARGE. I GIVE THE ORDERS. I SAY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO ME. NOW SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!”
'"Told ya,” Unicorn said. “He white. White ones is always the worst.”
Mallac began to repeat whatever it was he had said before, but once again Quaraun wasn't listening.
Unicorn watched as Quaraun's eyes widened with fear, his long rabbit ears perked high over his head, alert with a sense of danger. Unicorn looked around and listened, but whatever it was that was agitating Quaraun, he wasn't seeing or hearing it. Unicorn edged closer to the suddenly frightened Elf.
"I feel the same presence I felt before,” the wizard said as he avoided looking at the bloody body on the ground before him. "Something's wrong. None of this is right. Do you sense an illusion?"
"No. But ye does?"
"I'm not sure."
Quaraun turned and looked up at the lighthouse.
"We're closer to it now."
"Yeah. Something's not right with that tower. I can feel it. But I don't know what I feel. Something's blocking it. There's psyions here."
"Aye. Whole town be over run with Thullids."
"Thullids out in the open. In broad day light. They're planning something. And they don't want me to know. They're putting up barriers, so I can't see what they're doing. There's a big illusion here. And these murders are connected. Mallac..."
Quaraun called the solider over.
"What do you know about that tower?"
"Black Tower?" Mallac looked up at the lighthouse. "That's HellBorne's house. Strange one that. Just showed up one night. Wizard's tower."
"Showed up. Wasn't built?"
"Nope. Showed up about a year ago. Maybe two. Then all these half-Elves showed up. Now the Thullids. And they're all wizards. Every last one of them."
"And you don't think the murders are connected to the tower?"
"Nah. HellBorne's lived here for years. Crazy old coot, but he's harmless."
"What about the half-Elves that live with him, know anything about them?"
"Don't see many of them. Bitter bunch of bigots. Other then that yellow one with the sheep, they rarely come into town."
"Couldn't imagine why."
"They certainly hate Elves enough to kill every Elf they see."
"I want to see the tower. How do you get to it?"
"You don't. It's guarded by Death Mages. Necromancers. Geists. Ghouls. Demons. Liches."
"And Death Mages?"
"And HellBorne's harmless?"
"Yeah. Crazy, but harmless."
"But not the half-Elves that live with him?"
"It is definitely the same killer as the last one,” Unicorn said, looking at the wounds.
“I don’t understand the red glow,” Quaraun said, glancing at the body then turning back to look at Black Tower. “That is strange."
"What red glow?" Mallac asked.
"I keep seeing a red glow. An evil aura. I don't understand it. I've never seen that before. I don't know what it means."
Quaraun was about to say more but a sound behind him made him turn. A small boy ran Into the bushes.
"That's him!" Mallac screamed.
"What boy? "
“That boy! Quick grab him!” Mallac pushed Unicorn and pointed towards the boy that had run off into the bushes.
“Ya wants me to catch somet'ing? Why?”
“That's the victims son, The one I was telling you about."
"When I was no listening, ya means?”
"Catch him!" Mallac screamed. He and his men ran into the forest after the boy, leaving Quaraun and Unicorn alone with the body.
"Can you catch the boy without scaring him?" Quaraun asked Unicorn.
"Of course. Catching small children is a hobby of mine. I eats little boys remember?"
"Can you catch him without eating him?"
"Those men are gonna traumatize him chasing him like that. If this is his mother. He's already traumatized."
Quaraun closed his eyes, trying to block out the memory of seeing his own mother's murder. He had only been 9 years old.
"Ya wants that boy?"
"Yes. She was only just killed. The boy probably saw the killer. We need to talk to him."
"I shall get him."
Unicorn transformed into a sweet looking, shaggy little black Shetland pony with a gleaming silver horn and trotted off into the woods after he boy. Quaraun sat down on the ground and waited for the others to return. He had only been alone a short while before an extremely ancient looking, elderly half-Elf, wearing long black velvet robes covered in gold skull embroidery, came tottering over to him.
"Are you alright, my songbird?"
"What?" Quaraun wasn't sure if he'd heard right.
"Ain't seen you before," the ancient half-Elf said.
"I'm just passing through," Quaraun answered not looking up.
"Are you a wizard?"
''I am. What makes you ask?”
"You look like a wizard."
"Most people think I look like a prostitute."
"That's because they don't know a DiJinn when they see one."
"You've studied magic."
“What are you doing here with the body?”
“Waiting for Mallac. He seems to think I can solve the murder.”
“Probably, if it was any interest to me, which it isn't.”
“Why is is of no interest to you? I would think a Necromancer would find murder very interesting.”
“Who said anything about Necromancers?” Quaraun looked up at elderly Half-Elf standing over him.
“People around town have been talking. Said Mallac brought a Necromancer in to solve the murders. And here you are, a DiJinn Wizard Priest, sitting beside a murder victim. It is a simple matter of logical deduction to assume you are the Necromancer.”
“Why do you not resurrect the body and ask her who killed her?”
“Resurrecting a body is not that simple. Besides, I resurrect flowers.”
“It's messy and I faint at the sight of blood.”
“Which would explain why you've got your back turned to the body.”
“Why are you helping Mallac?”
“He's not giving me a choice.”
“But you're a wizard.”
“A powerful wizard wouldn't let anyone push him around.”
“A smart wizard wouldn't let anyone know how powerful he is,” Quaraun said. “What do you make of these murders?”
“Someone is building a Lich.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Is it not obvious?”
“It is, to someone who has studied the art of Lich making, but it's a lost art and banned by the Guild.”
“As is Necromancy, but here you are.”
“Yes, well, murder is banned by the Guild as well. So now the Guild is dead.”
“The Guild is dead?”
“I killed them.”
“Did you now?”
"You look ill."
Quaraun pointed towards the dead body without looking at it.
"I'm not used to seeing stuff like that," he said to the old man.
"Are you not a Necromancer?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"I would think you'd be used to seeing corpses and blood."
"Why would I be used to seeing such horrid things?"
"Are you not a Necromancer?"
"I am. But again. What does that have to do with it?"
"Working with dead bodies is what you do."
"No it isn't."
"Aren't you a Necromancer?"
"Yes. But I abhor death, avoid corpses, and I faint at the sight of blood, all of which have nothing to do with Necromancy. What is wrog with everyone in this town? Why doesn't any one know what Necromancy is?"
"Necromancers resurrect the dead."
"In fairy tales, yes." Quaraun shook his head in dismay as he spoke. "Not in real life. That's silly."
"Do you not travel with an undead Faerie?"
"And did you not resurrect him, yourself?"
"Yes, but not because I'm a Necromancer."
"I have a JellyFish living in my head. She does whatever she wants to do. I don't seem to be given much of a choice."
"You really are insane, aren't you?"
Quaraun looked up at the old man, then looked back down at the ground. He hated when people called him insane. He hated it more when people did not believe that there was an alien JellyFish living in his skull, feeding off his brain. Quaraun always spoke the truth, he found it difficult to tell a lie, and found it terribly frustrating when people thought him to be telling a lie. He also never trusted any one who thought he was lying, because he believed any one who assumed he was lying, must themselves be a person prone to lying otherwise they would have no reason to suspect others of telling lies. Quaraun immediately decided he did not like this old man and that the old man must be lying about something otherwise he would not have just now accused Quaraun of lying.
"You annoy me," Quaraun said at last.
"And pray tell, how have I done such a thing?"
"I'm not insane."
"Every one says you are."
"Every one's full of shit."
"You have a bitter tongue."
"As is my right."
"I'm sick. I'm tired. I hurt. And I'm fed up with this town, it's murders, and it's half assed population of idiotic, retarded, dolts."
"What have you against this town?"
"Other then the fact that it's primary population seems to be Human and half-Elves?"
"Have you something against Humans and half-Elves?"
"Humans are a parasitic plague taking over the planet, and half-Elves are their mongrel offspring."
"You do not like half-Elves?"
"They are mutated hybrids, half of them are born sterile as mules, as they should be. They are a corruption and a perversion of our previously perfect race."
"You mean the High Elves, like yourself."
"I mean nothing else."
"You're an arrogant young fool, aren't you?"
Quaraun stood up to face the old man eye to eye, a difficult task, Quaraun being so short, the old man's chin was eye level to him.
"I happen to be the purest of the pure blooded High Elves. My blood isn't muddied like your's."
"You're also dressed like a woman."
"How I dress is none of your concern."
"But you hate half-Elves?"
"No. You can't help the sins of your parents. I pity your kind."
"And yet are you not friends with a half-Elf?"
"GhoulSpawn seems to consider you a friend."
The mention of GhoulSpawn's name got Quaraun's attention. Not many people in town mentioned the resident sheep loving Demon-Elf Chaos Wizard.
"He certainly spends enough time with you."
Quaraun did not answer. He stepped back from the old man to get a better look at him. The ancient half-Elf continued talking.
"He's not getting his work done, he's spending so much time with you."
Quaraun narrowed his eyes and continued to examine the old man.
"It's become very frustrating to never know where he's run off to, because he's always off with you of late."
Quaraun stepped away from the old HalfElf, then turned to look down at the dead body. He twitched his ears nervously then turned back to the old half-Elf.
"In fact he's late right now. Can't for the life of me figure out where he's gotten to this time. Certainly not gallivanting off with you. You're right here and he's not."
"You only have one arm," Quaraun said.
"Does that bother you too?"
"No. I just rather assumed there wouldn't be too many one armed half-Elves in one village."
"Have you seen another?"
"No. You're the first. That's why I mentioned it."
"Do you know this woman?"
Quaraun pointed to the body, but the old half-Elf never took his eyes off Quaraun.
"I make a point of never getting to know the villagers. Humans are as much a waste of my time as Elves are."
"GhoulSpawn said the half-Elves 'round here didn't like either Humans or Elves."
"No Human or Elf ever gave a half-Elf a reason to like them. Evil bastards every one."
Quaraun looked down at the dead woman.
"You don't know her?"
Quaraun looked back at the old one armed half-Elf.
"There's been a murder every night this week."
"So I've heard. This is the 6th one."
"Sixth?" Quaraun puzzled over this. "Have you any thoughts on the murders?"
"Mallac doesn't think so."
"Mallac's a fool."
"Indeed." Quaraun looked down at the dead woman again. "There were two murders last night, you know?"
"Were there? I hadn't heard."
"Yes. Woman killed her abusive husband. Dragged him out here, made it look like part of these serial killings. Was easy enough to see it wasn't connected."
"He was killed elsewhere and dragged here. But not the others. The others were drugged. Bond. Laid out. And killed on location. Ritual murder. This one's different though."
"Yes. We interrupted the killer before he could finish. She's dead, but he blood hasn't been drained. Her organs have not yet been removed. The killer is still in the area. He hasn't had time to leave yet. He's still here."
"Are you accusing me of killing this woman?"
Quaraun stepped back again.
"You are HellBorne," Quaraun said.
"You sound surprised."
"I had not expected you to be so old."
"I am HellBorne the Evil, Summoner of Darkness, the Great and Mighty Overlord of the Evil Black Tower of the Dark Castle of Doom."
Quaraun looked past the old wizard to the black lighthouse teetering off the distant cliffs. There was no castle beside Black Tower, nor any sign that there had ever once been anything other then the lighthouse sitting on it's perch.
"Castle of Doom?"
"Yes," HellBorne said sadly, shaking his head in dismay and looking back in deep forlorn at his Black Tower. "Alas, she did not come with the Tower. She is still trapped in the Mushroom Forest back on Planet Ptarmagin."
Quaraun raised a questioning eyebrow and began to think the man insane.
"The Kats are trapped here with her," HellBorne added.
"Cats?" Quaraun inquired, remembering the two cats he had seen so many times the past few days. "What cats?"
"We call them the Ptarmagin Kats. Don't know what else to call them. Not like any earthly cats that's for sure."
"Do you suggest the Tower and the cats came here from another Realm?"
"But of course."
"Are they Faerie cats?"
"No. Nothing like that. Not from any Realm we know. From up there."
HellBorne pointed up to the stars overhead.
“I wouldn't mind talking to you again,” the old half-Elf said.
“You're a Half-Elf, why would I want to talk to you?”
“Because you seem to have trouble talking with anyone, on account of my house is distracting you.”
Quaraun stopped staring at Black Tower and looked up at the old Half-Elf.
“You're house is fascinating.”
“I can see you see that.”
“Would you sell it?”
“Sell my Black Tower? I will never sell Space Dock 13.”
“Space Dock 13?”
“That is what the Kats call it.”
“I keep seeing cats.”
“Do you now?”
“A black cat. With a jeweled collar.”
“And a white one too I suppose?”
“Yes. You know them?”
“They lived here before I did.”
“No one else sees them. Everyone thinks I'm insane. I keep seeing things no one else does.”
“You must be Quaraun the Insane, famous serial killing Necromancer. Evillest of all evils to ever live. The Darkness we summon forth.”
“I am Quaraun. Though I wish people would stop calling me insane. I don't like it. And I'm hardly evil. I noticed you not noticing the body."
“You haven't yet looked at that body. Not once. Yet you've been talking about it.”
"Oh no I saw the guards earlier the first time they were here, before they brought you back here with them.”
“And you just hung around?”
“I try to avoid them. Doesn't do to get involved with Mallac. I guess you've figured that out...'
''Yes, I have."
A sound rustled in the bushes near by.
"Well, I'll be off,” HellBorne said suddenly. “Got to get home before the sun comes up. Nice talking to you."
The old half Elf made his way towards the Black Tower and Quaraun considered following him, but just then Unicorn returned carrying a small half-Elf boy. The first thing Quaraun noticed was that the boy was covered with blood.
"You didn't hurt him did you?”
"No. Him was like this when I found him. Poor ting."
Quaraun wasn't sure what to do with children. It had been centuries since his own children had died and he'd not dealt with children since then. He had quite forgotten how to interact with them.
"What does we do with him? ''Unicorn asked.
"I know not. I don't know why the Humans were chasing him."
"Does we know who he is?"
Quaraun looked at the boy and then the dead sheElf
''I think it's her son. Mallac called him the victim's son. We should take him somewhere else. Mallac said she had a son that she was very protective of I would assume this to be him."
Unicorn set the boy down, but kept bold of his hand.
"Where do we go with him?"
''I don't know."
Quaraun looked around. He stared at Black Tower. He felt drawn to the tower. He wanted desperately to go that way, but something inside him told him not to take the boy there.
"We should go back to the tavern."
"With a child?" ZooLock asked.
"When did you get here?" Quaraun looked around. He had not seen ZooLock earlier.
"I followed you out here."
"No you didn't. There's been no one here but HellBorne."
"HellBorne?" Unicorn asked. "Ya met HellBorne?"
"Yes. And I don't like him. He lied to me just now. He's hiding something."
"Is him the killer?"
"No. I don't think he is. But I do think he's involved."
"How come for ya no t'inks it him?"
"He's too old, too frail, too weak, too crippled. He hasn't got the strength to carry a body. But I do think he's involved. I think he's the one giving the orders. Every murder victim has been an Elf. He hates Elves. Bring the boy. I don't want to be here when Mallac gets back."
"What we do wid body?"
"Leave it. It's not our concern. We need to go back to the tarven. Bring the boy."
"You can not take the boy to the tavern," ZooLock demanded stubbornly.
"'No place else we can go, is there?"
"'No place that I can think of,” ZooLock said.
"Then why do you object?"
"You're going to take a child to a tavern? One with a brothel?"
"The women there are better adapt to caring for children then any one else in this town. Half of them a pregnant. Most of them already have several children. Most of them will have GhoulSpawn's children by the end of the year. There's at least three that want mine. In my experience, prostitutes are far better at taking care of children, then the average woman. They have to be. They have more children then the average woman."
"And YOU would know that?"
"Yes. I would. For your information, I've spent the last 300 years of my life living in taverns. I'm well aquanted with prostitutes. I don't like sleeping alone. Unicorn's only been with me the last 10 years."
"Prostitutes are not cheap...."
"I'm the Grand High Emperor of the Triple Planets. And I killed a dragon. Three hundred years of prostitutes every night doesn't make a dent in my gold."
"You're supposed to be a virgin."
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I happen to be an Elf. When was the last time you met an Elf who didn't have a dozen wives, several hundred concubines, and a few thousand prostitutes on the side?"
"You're supposed to be a virgin."
"Well, I'm not. Get over it ZooLock!"
Quaraun grabbed Unicorn's arm.
Quaraun and Unicorn went back to the tavern, Unicorn carrying the small boy, who was clinging to the Phooka's neck, leaving ZooLock alone with the dead woman.
Back at the tavern, Unicorn tucked the boy in bed and waited for the boy to fall asleep, while Quaraun set out to drawing a map of the town and marking the locations of the murders. Once the boy had fallen asleep, Unicorn joined Quaraun and watched silently as the Elf, drew a large red star on the map.
"I connected the dots of the murder locations and it makes a 7 point star. Almost. One point is missing. The next murder is gonna be at Black Tower. See?"
Quaraun pointed to the lighthouses location on the map and the fact that it lined up with the missing point on the star.
"Did ya really spend ya nights with prostitutes?"
"Ya told ZooLock was spent every night of ya 300 years alone, living in taverns and sleeping with prostitutes."
"I'm not in the habit of lying, Unicorn."
"Aye. I knows it. I also knows ya does no like sticking ya dick in a cunt."
"I didn't say I did."
"No. Ya did."
"Unicorn... I said I didn't like sleeping alone."
"I paid women to sleep with me. Doesn't mean I fucked 'em."
"Ya paid women to sleep in ya bed wid ya, but not have sex wid ya?"
"Why do I believe that be exactly wat ya did?"
"Because I don't like having sex with women and you know that."
"How many prostitutes get to hear a man tell them he wants to sleep with them, un have him actually mean sleep not sex?"
"Is there something wrong with that?"
"Yis strange Quaraun."
This novel was originally written on: 2014 - 2016
This page last updated on: June 17, 2017