November 14, 2023 will be the 10 year anniversary of the November 14, 2013 murder of my 8 month old infant son, at BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, Maine. If you have any information about who his killer is, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
My Son Was Murdered, The Killer Walks Free, Your Child Could Be Next!
FAQ: What are the most visited pages on this website and how many visits do they get?
Several years ago, I wrote an article on how to write different types of magic uses, or rather how I personally write various types of magic users within the context of my Quaraun books. Today that page is one of my top ten most visited articles. It gets 50 to 500 views/reads/hits/visits per day depending on the time of the years and has had over 200k visits total since it was published.
Amphibious Aliens: Debunking The Atwater Family's Alien Abduction Hoax with more then 30MILLION reads since 2007 and The GoldenEagle: Debunking Stephen King's World's Most Haunted Car Hoax with over tenMILLION reads since 2007 still rank as the two most visited articles on my website, but, neither of those are writing related.
Writing Medieval Servants is my most visited writing related article with over 7MILLION reads.
This website was started in 1996 and has 1 to 3 new articles (all written by me, I am the only writer on this site) published almost daily. In 2017 we crossed ten thousand articles published. As of 2023, EACH article gets MINIMUM 10 to 70 reads PER DAY, with the high traffic articles getting 500+ reads per day.
And since December 2019, my website now gets three hundred thousand to 7 million reads per month - well over ONE HUNDRED MILLION PAGE READS PER YEAR, making it not only the single most trafficked site in the State of Maine, but also one of the most visited websites in ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!
{{{HUGS}}} Thank you to all my readers for making this possible!
For those interested in such things, this article is 28,642
words long or approximately 91 pages of a paperback book.
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Years ago, I had a Squidoo lens article titled "Creating Character Profiles" (http://www.squidoo.com/character-development-questions) which was a list of questions to ask your characters to help you flesh them out. Many readers have requested its return, (Squidoo went offline in 2013 and a month later a crazed psycho showed up at Southern Maine Community College and tried to kill me leaving me paralyzed for 5 months and relearning to walk for 18 month, thus why the page went offline and I was unable to put it back online) and as I was getting ready to bring it back, it occurred to me that better then just a list of questions, why not I actually SHOW you how I take that list of questions and use it to build my characters?
And so, I'm creating this series of pages, each one featuring a different character, with the same questions being answered.
At the end of the profile, you will find the list of questions, which you can use for your own characters.
Quaraun is the main character of The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane, which is the prequel of The Twighlight Manor series.
He is also my long running Player Character that I play as in Dungeons & Dragons SpellJammer, RavenLoft, and Temple of Elemental Evil campaign settings.
Additionally he is the Elf I life act in OtherKin things.
He is also the character you see me CosPlaying at conventions, or just around town, and at WalMart doing my daily shopping.
And yes, he is a transvestite.
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No matter where you go in the world, every one knows the story....
Once upon a time there was an evil Faerie King turned Necromancer who hated Elves, lead his armies marching across the world slaughtering every Elf in every village he passed. When he grew old, he murdered his 13 generals and turned them into Liches, then he commit suicide to turn himself into a Lich too. Together the Lich Lords continued their reign of terror slaughtering Elves across the planet.
One day they came to a village where lived a powerful wizard. As they did every where they went, the Liches slaughtered the Elves. Every last one.... except the wizard, who somehow survived.
Now the last of the Moon Elves roams the world in search of the Liches who killed his people. Becoming ever more powerful, learning all he can, becoming the world's most feared and most powerful wizard.... a Lich Hunter hell bent on vengeance, out to save the world and destroy the monsters who destroyed his people...
No matter where you go in the world, no one knows the truth....
Once upon a time there was a sad and lonely Elf, cast out by his people for being too different, too emotional, too liberal, too accepting of non-Elves, too willing to accept half-Elves as valuable members of society. Cast out of his society, left to die in the desert. He was rescued by a tribe of Demons who taught him their ways and their magic.
When his Demon "family" was killed, he returned to his real family, only to be treated far worse than he had been before. Beaten, tortured, mutilated, traumatized, cut off from the Elven hive mind, and left hanging upside down in a tree in the forest, bleeding to death, used by his own people, as bait to catch an evil Elf Eating Faerie King.The King of the Faeries - a vicious war lord, found the gutted Elf hanging in the tree and took pity on a wounded Elf wizard and nursed him back to health. For 30 years they lived together. The two became lovers.
For an Elf and a Faerie to be lovers was forbidden by Elf law. The Elves viciously attacked and tortured them both. Mortally wounded the Faerie King commit suicide to end his suffering rather than linger on in agony for weeks. Devastated, the Elf used the magic he'd learned from the Demons to resurrect the Faerie King as a Lich.
And now the Elf, a Necromancer with a Lich at his command, unleasehed the Lich on the Elves to punish them for killing his lover. With every Elf dead, the Lich escaped it's bottle, not returning to it's Necromancer.
Now, Quaraun, the last Moon Elf, The Pink Necromancer, driven to the brink of insanity, murderer of the other Elves, roams the planet, a Lich Hunter, not hunting Liches to kill them and save the world, but rather searching for his undead lover that they may be reunited, caring nothing for the world or any one in it, desiring only to be with his lover once again.
Serial killer, time traveller, builder of the Twighlight Manor.... these are the Adventures of Quaraun the Insane.
While Quaraun has a last name (as do most aristocrats), last names were uncommon in medieval times, thus he almost never uses it.
His name is Quaraun Swanzen.
The general public refers to him as Quaraun the Insane.
While he does suffer from Autism, Quaraun is not actually insane. However in medieval time period the word Autism or Autistic did not exist and Autistics were often referred to as "the village idiots". The diagnosis of "clinical insanity" was applied to Autistics until as late as the 1960s.
Quaraun does not use the title himself and can often be seen asking people to "Please stop calling me insane."
Quaraun was originally created in the 1970s for the Twighlight Manor series where he was known as The Grand High Emperor of the Triple Planets.
The primary villain, a mass murdering serial killing Necromancer in the Twighlight Manor series, at fan request, I now feature him as the main character in a new series to tell the story of his life, how he went from childhood to adulthood and when on to become the most feared man to ever walk the face of the Earth.
The short stories featuring him as a main character appeared on FanFiction.net through out the1990s into the 2000s, until it, along with 11,000 other authors' work, got deleted in 2012's Adult Purge of FF.net.
He did not make his appearances as the main character of any novel until the mass market American release of The Night of the Screaming Unicorn September 4, 2014.
Quaraun is born around the year 983 and dies around the year 1733 (living about 750 years).
Most of the series takes place during a very small time frame between 1450 and 1530
Little is known as to how Quaraun got his name.
Quaraun is in fact an old Persian name that means "one who walks with God". In the context of the Quaraun series, the Di'Jinn priests say his name means "The Sacred Pink Jelly Fish" lives within him. This indicates that Quaraun's name was something else prior to his having been implanted with the Thullid Jelly Fish, that the Di'Jinn priests call "The Sacred pink Jelly Fish."
There is some debate over wither or not Quaraun is actually Quaraun's birth name.
Quaraun was 3 years old when he witnessed his father murder his mother. This event traumatizes him into and throughout adulthood. His father begins plotting to kill him. To save the boy's life, Quaraun's uncle sells the boy to a Di'Jinn priest.
The Di'Jinn priest (ZooLock) take the young bory from the cold forests of Quebec and raises him in the burning deserts of Persia.
It is believed that it was ZooLock who in fact gave the boy the name Quaraun.
However, Quaraun himself is unable to remember if he had been given a different name at birth or not. As Quaraun is the point of view character for the series, the reader only knows as much as Quaraun does. If Quaraun does not know the answer, there is no omnepresent narrator there to tell the reader "oh by the way, this is the thing he forgot..."
Quaraun likewise can not remember the names of his father, mother, uncle, sisters, or his first 2 wives. For this reason they are never given names.
The Quaraun series, is told by Quaraun, to a psychiatrists in White Rock Asylum For The Criminally Insane, during the final days of his life. Because it is being told by an old man with failing memory, the reader sees the world as exactly as he remembers it, complete with nameless characters, half-remembered events, etc.
Thus as Quaraun does not know who it was who named him, neither does the reader. The assumption however is that a French Canadian Elf would have had a French Canadian Elvish name, and not a Persian name, and as he was raised from a young age by a Persian priest, it is assumed ZooLock changed the boy's name upon buying him.
Quaraun is very short and often complains of his lack of height. As a child he was bullied by other children, who called him "a runt" indicating that in childhood he was short as well.
Knowing his lack of height bothers him, Quaraun's primary lover Unicorn (a Faerie shapeshifter) stays shifted into a Human form that is much shorter then Quaraun.
Quaraun is 5'6" and Unicorn 5'1", both of them are quite a bit shorter then GhoulSpawn, who is described as being "nearly a foot taller than Unicorn". This would make GhoulSpawn around 6'1".
Quaraun's white hair turns silver after prolonged sun exposure
Moon Elves are a very distinctive race of Elf, noted for their almost always being born white albinos. Thus Quaraun has milk white hair, as well as matching milk white skin.
Quaraun's kin burns very easily. Because of his overly pale complexion, Quaraun avoids being outdoors during mid-day. He, Unicorn, GhoulSpawn, and sometimes also FarDarrig, are frequently seen in taverns, bars, pubs, etc, around noon time as it is difficult for Quaraun to be outdoors during bright sunlight hours.
Quaraun has Autism and is thus compelled to walk long distances, sometimes 15 to 20 miles per day. He gets up before the sun rises and often does not stop after the sun sets. He stops when the sun his high in the sky, however, and seeks shade or being indoors.
Prolonged exposure to sunlight, gives his hair a grey or silver tint to it, as can be seen in the cover art of "My Two Favorite People".
Quaraun has superstitions regarding his hair. There exists magic users who are superstitious and BELIEVE a certain object gives them power. In actuality the object is their "focus" which they use when meditating, so the object itself doesn't give them power, but rather allows them to focus their mind.
Most magic users however actually believe they get their power from their focus object and so will not go anywhere without it. For some it's a crystal or crystal ball, or palm stone, for others it's pendant of bracelet... for my main character, Quaraun, it's his hair.
Quaraun believes that if he cuts his hair he will lose his powers. He came by this belief, because he has really long hair, and it takes him several hours each morning to brush it. One day he noticed that after spending 3 hours brushing his hair, his ability to do magic was stronger. What actually happened was the act of brushing his hair put him into an euphoric meditative state, and has nothing to do with magic, but because he's a Wizard and therefor highly superstitious, he came to believe that his long hair was the source of his power. The result of which is he eventually has 12 foot long hair, that becomes totally unmanageable and constantly in his way, but he completely refuses to cut it.
Being a Moon Elf, and thus being an albino, Quaraun thus has pale, nearly colourless eyes.
His eyes are an icy translucent crystal blue. The iris are heavily veined, with the many shades of pale blue clearly defined, giving his eyes an almost stripped appearance.
Shining a light directly on his face, reveals that this icy blue is actually an optical illusion, and his eyes are in fact pale pink with dark red pupils.
Being an albino, in actuality, his eyes have no colour at all and what you are seeing is a reflection of the light on his blood vessels.
When people first meet him, they mistake him for a woman, due to his small frame, delicate features, smooth hairless face/body, long silky hair, and of course the fact that he's wearing very distinctive female garments.
He wears cloths similar to that of a traditional Persian Muslim woman. Thus wears a hijab and face veil over his face, and long flowing floor length dresses with sleeves to his finger tips. His dresses, robes, and veils are all of bright bubblegum pink, heavily embroidered with dark pink & purple hearts, squid, and jellyfish.
The colour pink, is worn by all the members of The Order of the Di'Jinn, and wearing dresses, even the men, is because they worship The Sacred Pink Jelly Fish (a type of Thullid), a very Lovecraftian style pink Demon Goddess who's an alien Jelly Fish trapped on Earth, after her home planet burned up when her sun supernovaed. Most of the Demons who worship her, in fact also aliens, and are Squid Headed Humanoids from Neptune's Moon (no one knows which one). They wear pink because their goddess is pink, and wear dresses because she is female.
However, when people talk to him, they immediately realize he is a male as soon as he starts talking.
He is described as having "a deep voice that is unmistakably male".
A list of his piercings/etc are as follows:
Full details on his jewelry, the religious symbolism behind why he wears it can be found here.
Quaraun was born in the Moon Elf Village in Ivujivik, Quebec. It is unknown the name of the village, as he left there in early childhood and is an old man with failing memory at the time he is telling the story.
Many place names and character names are deliberately left of of the series. This is because the elderly Elf is unable to remember them. The reader sees the places and characters as the very elderly, Quaraun remembers them and not as they actually were/are.
Quaraun's description of the Moon Elf Village does not match with the actual landscape of Ivujivik, Quebec, which lead the psychiatrists who were interviewing him to believe that he was in fact born in a region near Inuvik, but not Ivujivik itself. The exact location of the Moon Elf Village is therefore unknown.
At the age of 3 years old, Quaraun, his mother, and his uncle (the Moon Elf King) were attacked by Thullids. All 3 of the Moon Elves were murdered that day. Their bodies implanted with Thullids, who eat the internal organs of the 3 dead Elves and then reanimated their dead bodies.
No one knew the Moon Elves were now empty husks with alien jelly fish Demons living inside them.
Normally Thullids would only implant adults, so implanting a small child was unusual. Because he was a Thullid, his growth was stunted and thus Quaraun remained a very small Elf, never fully growing to the size of an adult.
Shortly after this attack, Quaraun's father noted that Quaraun was acting like a Faerie Changeling, and that his wife was not acting herself anymore. The angry Elf accused his wife of adultery with a Faerie, claiming Quaraun was a half-Elf, then dragged her out into the center of the village for a public execution.
The entire town joined him in stoning the poor she-Elf for the sin of bedding with a Faerie. In doing so, they smashed her skull open, revealing a white tentacled jellied slime demon, living inside her hollowed out brainless skull. Realizing a Thullid was among them the Elves went into a mass frenzy and tore the little Slime Demons to shreds.
To save the boy's life, the King quickly took Quaraun and sold him to a Di'Jinn priest.
The priest took Quaraun to Persia, where he was raised in the Temple of the Di'Jinn, submitted to the rigorous training of becoming a Wizard of the Di'Jinn Order.
Because of this Quaraun grew up to be a Di'Jinn Wizard-Priest.
Where did the idea for him come from?
While Quaraun's character was floating around the Twighlight Manor series since the 1970s, unnamed, and just a plot device who never made an appearance on page, he did not become the drug addicted, bumbling, drunk wizard he is today, until 2012.
My game group was setting up a new Dungeons and Dragons setting and the DM thought it's be nice f someone could place a drug, drug addict wizard. Well, here I was already playing a very psychedelic hippie wizard, so, it was my character who got picked for the scene when it happened in game.
1 drunk wizard... needed to go talk to frogs...and defeat mushrooms (it was a weird game.)
Yep.
1 drunk wizard.
Got one of those.
Got 3 of those actually.
Plus one is also an opium addict and another is an LSD addict. AND they are the guys you would send for if you need help... provided you could first drag them from the tavern and sober them up enough to get them casting the right spells at the right people, that is! LOL!
His inability to cast spells properly is why he gets called "Quaraun the Insane" which he hates.
How my player character went from just a wizard to an insane drunk, drug addict wizard, got started was in a AD&D2ed Temple of Elemental Evil Campaign, using our Elf wizards we had already been using in SpellJammer. He was just your average ordinary bumbling wizard when I designed him, but then one of the other player's drugged his flask, and the DM had this randomized fumble chart he wanted to try out, and next thing we knew, the wizard was casting stuff like "dancing hippos" (which brought a purple hippo in a tutu into the battlefield) and "raining hearts" (candy hearts rained from a rain cloud over the wizards head for hours).
(YES - this is why some people hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE the SpellJammer setting - wait til Rhino Warriors attack, riding on Giant Space Hamsters - these are ACTUAL things you can find n the SpellJammer handbooks. - Did I mention SpellJammer was basical Elves on drugs? Best D&D setting EVER! Insanity in space. Definitely not for the player looking for a serious game, that's for sure! LOL!)
And yes, all the things that happened to him in game, does show up in the novels.
We had 5 players who were wizards (the DM thought it would be nice to try a all one class game) and no one knew who it was who was drugging the others' drinks, so all the wizards blamed each other and were casting spells to drug each other.
We ended up with an entire party of drunk, drug addict, extremely high, High Elf wizards who couldn't get anything done, because we were too busy tossing pink hamsters and purple bats at each other. One wizard turned another wizard into a parrot, so the parrot wizard spent every turn as a parrot (the spell lasted like 5 or 6 turns) saying:
"I sit on his head in poop in his face."
DM would roll the dice and be: "He has successfully sat on your head and shit in your face.... I bet you wish you hadn't turned him into a parrot now?"
Our poor DM.
He'd give us these options to go hunt monsters and all we were doing was looking for taverns to get drunk at and towns to blow up with our miscast spells.
It was hysterical. Then after the game ended (months later - ended with us going off to attack Orcs while we were all high and drunk, and we together cast this massive multi-wizard spell, that ended up blowing up the whole mountain and us along with it) I changed Quaraun's character in the Twighlight Manor series, dramatically, to have him match the way I had played him in game, resulting in the character he is today in the Quaraun series.
It is so much fun writing a wack-a-doodle wizard. :)
Fantasy has way too many serious wizards. Bumbling wizards are way better. I think Fantasy novels need more of them.
And there is nothing more fun in AD&D then playing a high Spelljammer High Elf. You want a night of absolute insanity, you want to play SpellJammer, or is you need something even more psychotically insane, you can try to find 1st ed game setting Metamorphosis Alpha. It's even more insane then SpellJammer.
Quaraun is nervous and flighty.
He tends to be too scared to have any other mood.
When he gets highly agitated, he starts punding.
If he feels relaxed and safe (which rarely happens) he becomes cheerfully, chipper, and happy.
With great difficulty.
He's been hurt too many times by too many people.
In every case of him learning to trust someone (including Unicorn and GhoulSpawn) the trust develops slowly over time, after he has been seriously wounded and the person took care of him, protecting him and keeping him safe.
How Quaraun met Unicorn: Unicorn took care of Quaraun after the Moon Elf villagers vivisected him.
How Quaraun met GhoulSpawn: GhoulSpawn took care of him, after soldiers from the future fell out of a portal and gunned him down.
How Quaraun met his 2nd wife: His 2nd wife (whose name he can't remember) took care of him when he fell from the top of the haunted lighthouse breaking both his legs.
How Quaraun met Pippiatta: His 3rd wife Pippiata took care of him when he was wounded by Elf breeder Zebulon.
In all 4 of these instances, he was seriously injured and bedridden for a period of many months.
He grew up with insanely radical white power fanatics. He saw them kill in the name of purifying their race.
Around strangers: very dry.
Alone with his family: very cheerful.
DO NOT TOUCH HIM.
DO NOT STEP IN HIS PERSONAL SPACE.
Quaraun keeps an invisible barrier around himself that he refers to as his "personal space". If you step into it, you will witness an over sensory Autistic meltdown, that for most people is one of the most frightening things they've ever seen.
No.
It is difficult even for Unicorn or GhoulSpawn to get him to open up and talk about personal things and he is closer to them than anyone else.
Quaraun suffers from horrific night terrors.
Not really.
Quaraun is disgusted with his racist people and their culture of hate, thus why he killed every one in his village and became a wandering vagabond.
He retains some level of pride in his religion and does proudly introduce himself as "a Wizard of the Di'Jinn Order" though he stopped practicing his religion decades ago.
He is happiest when he and his family are alone in his gardens at his house (Black Tower).
When on the road, travelling, he feels safest at night when he has both Unicorn and GhoulSpawn in bed with him, one sleeping to either side of him. The 3 wizards often sleep curled up together hugging each other.
Quaraun is extremely nervouse and shy, and will not have sex with anyone unless he is fully relaxed and believes they are in a safe place were they will not be disturbed.
This is due to the day he was attacked (and nearly castrated) by the Moon Elf villagers. The Elves had stormed in and attacked both him and his lover, dragging him out of bed and viciously mutilating him, resulting in the extremely disfiguring scars on his belly, groin, genitals, and thighs.
This event also resulted in his phobia of sleep in an actual bed.
Quaraun refuses to climb into a bed. As a result of this, Unicorn, every night, builds a massive bird nest like structure out of piles of throw pillows and covered with soft fur pelts, with silk kimono used as blankets.
All 3 wizards sleep together in this fur bird nest "bed". Unicorn often purrs and chirps like a mother hen, to sing the frightened Elf to sleep.
In this soft fur nest, with his body squished between Unicorn's and GhoulSpawn's, is when Quaraun feels safest and most comfortable. Because of Quaraun's fear of being naked, they often do not undress fully before going to bed, instead wearing thin silk Yukata (sleeping kimono). Once they have got him relaxed, both Unicorn and GhoulSpawn together will make love to and have sexual intercourse with Quaraun. Quaraun bottoms for both of them. While anal sex does happen, Quaraun often is not relaxed enough to allow it without injuring him, thus frontage and a lot of manipulation with hands, mouths, and tongues is a far more common practice between the 3 wizards.
And while we are on the topic...
One of the most common questions I get from readers is:
Are your male characters circumcised?
No.
All 3 of them are uncircumcised, and sex scenes between them often involve a lot of foreskin stimulation.
As Quaraun does not relax often, sex scenes are uncommon in the series. If there is a sex scene between Quaraun and Unicorn and GhoulSpawn, all 3 of them together, you know that Quaraun is fully at ease and comfortable with his surroundings.
Being alone with Humans.
Being in a tavern, when a large group of Humans walks in.
Humans in general, especially if they are The Blue Monsters with their black and white screaming demons*, found in every modern Human town.
*Police officers and squad cars.
Yes. GhoulSpawn.
And it is very obvious.
Quaraun baby's GhoulSpawn a lot. This often causes jealousy issues with Unicorn.
GhoulSpawn is quite a bit younger than Quaraun, by almost 500 years. Quaraun often treats GhoulSpawn as though he was a child, which GhoulSpawn doesn't always like.
Quaraun dotes on GhoulSpawn, often buying him very expensive and very rare gifts.
He later does the same thing with his 3 youngest sons: Vielder, Melaca, and Gwaneesh.
Shortly before his death, Quaraun takes an unusually obsessive interest in his grandson Roderic. Babying him much in the same way he had previously done with GhoulSpawn.
Upon his death, it is discovered that Quaraun left his entire estate: the Twighlight Manor, Black Tower, and Fire Mountain with it's vast hoard of dragon gold... to Roderic.
Roderic Swanzen, Lord of the Twighlight Manor, is of course the main character of the Twighlight Manor series.
In 1983 a short story was released, revealing that Fire Mountain had been destroyed in a freak eruption. For the first time revealing that Fire Mountain was our real world Mt Saint Helen.
Quaraun does not like to be seen naked. He is very modest (when not drunk.)
(When drunk he is known to throw his clothes off and act very slutty.)
Quaraun is very embarrassed by the extremely disfiguring scars on his belly, groin, genitals, and thighs, and is careful to never reveal them to anyone.
Early in the series he did not yet have the scars and allowed Unicorn to undress him before sex. There was then a space of several years they were separated. When reunited (in Night of the Screaming Unicorn), Unicorn is puzzled when he goes to undress Quaraun, and the Elf quickly clutches his kimono shut refusing to allow Unicorn to see him naked, even though they had both previously seen each other naked many times. It takes Unicorn several hours to finally get Quaraun to tell him about the scars, and then several more hours to let Unicorn see them, which Quaraun only allows briefly before covering himself again.
GhoulSpawn sees the scars for the first time in Lich Lord's Lover, after a very drunk, jealous, and angry Unicorn strips Quaraun naked and throws him on top of GhoulSpawn. Resulting in Quaraun running into the forest ashamed and terrified, later to be comforted by GhoulSpawn in the what is the first time Quaraun and GhoulSpawn have sex together.
Unicorn catches them together and tries to kill GhoulSpawn, resulting in Quaraun attacking Unicorn by casting a deadly spell that he quickly regrets casting.
The entire novel, shows the 3 wizards in one of their worst times ever, as their relationship falls apart, with the 3 of them no longer daring to be close to each other. They eventually patch things up and become a trio of lovers. But prior to Lich Lord's Lover the sex scenes were only between Quaraun and Unicorn, never including GhoulSpawn.
The whole ordeal is probably Quaraun's single most mortifyingly embarrassing moment in life.
Not either, really.
Quaraun tends to be too scared of everything to see either bright or dark sides.
Though a very strictly moral person early on in life, at around 70 years old (the equivalent of a 17 year old Human), he meets BoomFuzzy the Unicorn.
Before meeting BoomFuzzy Quaraun was a virgin, who had no knowledge or concept of sex, had no knowledge of the existence of drugs or alcohol, shunned the idea of Necromancy, and had never swore.
BoomFuzzy was a foul mouthed, perverted, chemist/drug dealer, who took delight in drugging Quaraun's food and drink so that he could sexually abuse the young boy.
While BoomFuzzy was nothing more then a dirty old man who had found an innocent playmate, Quaraun fell deeply in love with the old Faerie, not realizing that the Fae did not love him back and was just using him.
Quaraun was devastated when BoomFuzzy died and sunk into deep, suicidal depression. Not realizing that BoomFuzzy had been drugging him for several years, Quaraun also was suddenly off drugs cold turkey when BoomFuzzy died, resulting in a massive fit of withdrawal that sent him into a murderous melt down resulting him killing his 4 children, whom he deeply loved and later upon realizing what he had done, would be forever tormented by their souls haunting him. The guilt caused by the murder of his children, would go on to shatter his sanity and send him into a fit of depression and guilt that slowly crushed his ability to function over the years.
All of this resulted in Quaraun turning to drugs, first opium, then Faerie Wine, and later LSD, as a way to bury his sorrows.
Later in life, Quaraun tries to continue his earlier strict moral lifestyle as a priest, which leads to him living a double life, trying to be publicly seen one way, while in private still living his life another way.
Throughout most of the series Quaraun has difficulty doing every day normal activities, due to his seriously out of control drug addiction problem.
Quaraun is an opium addict, his primary lover (Unicorn) is a candy maker (chemist/drug dealer), and his secondary lover (GhoulSpawn) is an LSD addict.
Quaraun is usually very mellowed out and kind of drifts along mindlessly through novels. It's difficult to get him angry. It's often difficult to get him to stand up or in many cases it is often even more difficult to get him to realize that he's not standing up.
Quaraun's mellowed out drifting through life is the opium, which he often is unaware he has taken, as BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, puts opium (among other things) in his eggnog, which Quaraun drinks every night before bed. Because Quaraun isn't actively taking drugs himself and is rather being drugged on a not consistent basis by Unicorn, you see him having wild mood swings with frantic terrified fits of night terrors that are absolutely horrific for both Quaraun and the people around him who are witnessing it. Opium has some of the worse withdrawal symptoms of any drug out there and they are displayed very accurately in the Quaraun series.
GhoulSpawn is high strung, nervous, and is often in a dazed, confused state not always knowing when or where he is, and he also sees strange Elf-eating pink animals chasing him everywhere he goes.
While Quaraun and Unicorn are from the 1400s and are using raw drugs mixed in old school methods, GhoulSpawn is teenager from the 1970s. His first car (which he brings with him to the past) is an orange 1974 AMC Gremlin that was abandoned by hippies fleeing police. The car is stashed full of LSD. The combination of the car, the LSD, and his being a Dungeon Master results in him becoming a time traveller and being stuck in the 1400s with Quaraun and Unicorn and a car that most 1400s folk mistake for being a monster.
Quaraun and GhoulSpawn are both High Elves (Quaraun being a Moon Elf and GhoulSpawn being a Sun Elf) while BoomFuzzy is a Faerie Horse (a Phooka which is similar to a Kelpie and is a type of Unicorn).
While the Faerie himself rarely uses the drugs he makes, he is a trickster Fae and finds great fun in watch his two High Elf companions go out of their heads (either from taking too much of something or from going too long without something and sinking into absolutely insane withdrawal fits of hysteria.)
Both of the High Elves are jittery, paranoid, prone to panic attacks, and have hallucinations on a frequent basis, all of which are side effects of the drugs they are on.
GhoulSpawn is constantly giving Quaraun sugar cubes, which Quaraun doesn't realize are drugs and thinks are candy.
Nearly every novel in the Quaraun series includes a scene with at least one of the 3 of them making or using drugs, and nearly always spells out step by step, very accurate instructions on how to grow, find, harvest, and make said drugs.
The actual recipe for BoomFuzzy's Eggnog can be found in Summoner of Darkness. If you ever tried to actually make it, you'd probably be dead before you reached the bottom of the glass.
One thing you see in the series is the after effects. Not only do you see the "fun time" side highs of drugs, you also see the psychological terror that that comes the next day with the crashing downs. You see the brief ups and the long, terrifying spirals down.
The books also contain a "Rated M18+ for Mature Readers Only" note on the front covers, and on the copyright page is a disclaimer, stating not to use drugs and that "the situations are fiction for entertainment only" and are "not to be tried at home".
In spite of people (local Saco Ward LDS church leaders - who are themselves drug dealers and drug addicts and are where I learned so much inside info about drugs) saying the books are M rated for being Erotica, you are actually hard pressed to find a sex scene in the series. Only about 1 in every 5 volumes has a sex scene.
The series is actually rated M for it's drug use.
In short, Quaraun is a drug addict with a serious addiction problem that effects his life and the lives of those around him.
Family.
Family is the only thing Quaraun cares about.
Family is the only thing Quaraun talks about.
Family is the only thing Quaraun fights for. And it doesn't have to be his own family either.
Family is the only thing Quaraun wants.
Family is the only thing Quaraun is willing to kill for.
Quaraun is frequently seen taking in orphaned children.
At the very end of his life, when he is nearing 750 years old, and has a young pregnant wife and two young boys by her, Quaraun stops travelling to live with his family and for the first time in his life is happy. However, when this family is murdered, it is the breaking point for him and Quaraun becomes the mass murdering, serial killing psychopath of the Twighlight Manor series.
The only thing Quaraun ever wanted was to have a family and be allowed to live with them in peace.
Many.
Quaraun is a frail, weak, sickly little Elf, as is common with real life albinos.
It bothered me, when reading Fantasy, that albinos are always portrayed with super powers and given god-like status, when the fact remains, that in real life, albinism is a serious physically disabling disease.
Real life albinos:
As Quaraun is an albino, he suffers from all of the above.
Quaraun also, has Autism.
Note, that Quaraun has the illness that is actually called Autism, not Aspergers which is NOT a type of Autism, contrary to popular urban myth spread by fans of Sheldon Cooper. Autism is very rare effects only 1 on every 10,000 people. It is similar to schizophrenia and PTSD and is caused by extreme early childhood abuse, most often it is caused by the child having been raped prior to the age of 3 years old.
Unfortunatly the word "autism" gets slapped onto more then 60 other illnesses, by people without medical training who self diagnose themselves or their children as "Autistic". Even though 1 in 3 children is "claimed" to be "autistic" more then 80% of people claiming to be self diagnosed with Autism do not in fact have Kanner's syndrom (the medical name of Autism.)
Sadly, you can not find accurate information about Autism on Wikipedia, as several over boisterous "self diagnosed Aspies" have re-written the Kanner's Syndrome page to be about Aspergers instead of Autism. The page had originally be written by actual doctors who treat actual autism, but "self diagnosed aspies" thought the ACTUAL symptoms of Autism did not match the symptoms they had, thus it was rewritten by children who based their diagnosis off internet memes and the tv show Big Bang Theory.
Quaraun suffers from Thullid Infestation, and this is what causes the bulk of his "insanity" issues.
Quaraun has a demonic, alien jelly fish from outer space living inside his brain, after she burrowed a hole in his skull to get there. Quaraun is slowly going insane, in a madness similar to mad cow disease, caused by the holes the tiny parasitic jellyfish is eating in his brain tissue.
Because I could not find a real illness matching what I wanted for use with Quaraun, I created the fictional Thullid Infestation, based of combining the actions of three, real world illnesses: the Naegleria fowleri and the symptoms of bovine spongiform encephalopathy (mad cow disease) with Kuru, a transmissible spongiform encephalopathy.
Quaraun in turn suffers the very real side effects of someone suffering from these 3 brain disorders.
The Naegleria fowleri, also known as the "brain-eating amoeba" is a tiny water creature, that can in fact swim up your nose, attach itself to your brain, and slowly cause insanity by eating your brain tissue.
Unfortunately, the creature kills you with in 2 to 3 weeks of infestation, long before you succumb to the insanity it would otherwise cause.
While the real Naegleria fowleri takes 2 to 3 weeks to kill a person, the Thullid jelly fish of the Quaraun series takes 2 to 3 years to do the same.
The person knows completely what is happening to them, but there is no cure, no way to remove the parasite from the brain. It is said in all the realms there is no worse way to die then by Thullid Infestation.
Once the Thullid has killed it's host, it then takes over the body, reanimating it, and living inside of it, much the same way a Hermit Crab takes the shell of a dead snail.
The most frightening part of this, is those around you, have no idea you have died and the Thullid now pretends to be you. It has spent those 1st 2 or 3 years learning to mimic your speech and habits and slowly growing it's tentacles into your spine and nerves, completely taking over your body.
Unless someone is with them at the time of death (which is unlikely as by that point the Thullid has gained enough control over the body functions to go into hiding while the death occurs) no one will ever know the person died or that their body was taken over by a Demon.
In the Quaraun series this is considered "Demon Possession" and Quaraun is thus classified as a "Demon Possessed Elf".
In the case of both Quaraun and GhoulSpawn, neither Elf was fully sane to begin with and the brains of both Elves were physically damaged by their captors during implantation. More importantly, in both cases the larvae being implanted in them, were each also physically damaged.
With each Elf suffering brain damage and each parasite suffering body damage, the end result of in each case the Thullid infestation process was not completed, resulting in both Elves retaining portions of their brain function, even after their bodies had died.
While most Thullids eventually fully engulf the body, developing the giant squid-like head, both Quaraun an GhoulSpawn are mutations, which retained their jelly fish larval state and therefore never lost their physical Elven bodies. Unfortunately this had physical side effects of what is known as actual clinical insanity.
Because Quaraun is a female alien living in the body of a male Elf, it is possible for him to become pregnant, which he does in Summoner of Darkness, Picking the Perfect Pickle, and in multiple unnamed short stories that have not yet been compiled into novels. It is however, not the Elf himself that is pregnant, but rather the jellyfish living inside of him that becomes pregnant.
The Thullid living in GhoulSpawn is Quaraun's son. As is the one living inside Al-Keeme and later the one living in Phozeen (both characters from the Twighlight Manor series).
When pregnant, Quaraun becomes highly agitated, more alert of his surroundings, more defensive, more emotional, and highly protective of others, especially children.
Because Quaraun is actually a female alien living inside the body of a male Elf, he dresses like a female, wearing very elaborate gowns, and he acts very distinctively female with highly maternal instincts, especially around children and animals, whom he can be very "mother hen" too. This causes other characters to mistake him for being transgender, when in fact he is not.
Additionally, over time, Quaraun sustains multiple injuries. The ones with have the largest impacts on his life are:
Quaraun suffers from what is known as a "sub penial incision" injury. Meaning the underside of his penis is sliced, the cut having gone nearly through, almost castrating him, and leaving his penis badly disfigured. Quaraun, is typical of most Wizards in the Quaraun series. He was taken from his family by a Thullid priest at the age of 9. Born in Quebec, he was raised by the DiJinn in Persia, on the other side of the planet. As an adult he escaped his Demon captors and made the long journey back home. He was not accepted back into Elf society and seen as a freak. The other Elves teased and bullied him. He is often beaten, raped, and several times publicly humiliated by being striped naked and hung upside down from a tree in the village center, where the villagers would gather to beat him with sticks and throw rocks at him. It was during one of these events, that one Elf took a knife and attempted to castrate him, resulting in the horrific scars and permanent damage done to his penis, which in turn results in his near inability to have sexual intercourse, resulting in him eventually preferring to be a bottom to other men, resulting in his 3 way relationship with his two lovers Unicorn and GhoulSpawn.
Though dubbed by critics of the series as "the gay Elf wizard", Quaraun is in fact not gay, he does like women quite a lot, has 4 wives, keeps company with dozens of prostitutes (whom he doesn't have sex with, but whom he does like to watch GhoulSpawn have sex with) and Quaraun would be having sexual intercourse with women if it were not for the crippling damage that was done to his penis.
In A Baby For The Necromancer, Quaraun suffers his 2nd life changing injury, when a soldier stabs him with a sword.
Unknown to Unicorn (at the time) Quaraun has a second wife, whom he is hiding from, pretty much every body, due to the fact that she is a Human and he is a full blooded High Elf. (Elves have laws against relationships with non-Elves. Quaraun puts himself and his family at great risk, by having a Human wife, thus his extremes at hiding her from everyone.)
Quaraun is of the habit of returning to the same taverns in the few villages every few months, so Unicorn suspects nothing when they continually visit the same tavern more often then the rest.
Quaraun's habit of spending time with prostitutes, also is overlooked by Unicorn, who doesn't pay attention to the fact that Quaraun focuses a lot of his attention on only one prostitute at this particular tavern, and dotes on her half-Elf children.
The girl is in fact not a prostitute. She is Quaraun's 2nd wife, and the father of her children.
In Baby for the Necromancer, Quaraun and Unicorn are walking on the outskirts of this village, when they see and smell a large fire ahead. They rush to the village to find it razed by an army.
Quaraun becomes panicked and searches for his family, finding the girl and her children have been murdered, save for the youngest, a baby, that Quaraun takes with him when they leave.
While Unicorn is aware Quaraun knew the dead family, he is puzzled by Quaraun's grief and despair over their deaths, as Unicorn is not aware this is Quaraun's family.
Though he doesn't understand it, Unicorn realizes that Quaraun is intent on keeping and raising the baby.
They've not had the baby for long, when they run across the army, who attack them, intending to take the baby. Quaraun was trying to protect a baby from the soldiers and fell hard on his knees, unable to get up again quickly, due to carrying the baby. Before he could get up, a soldier came up behind him, and drove a sword down through the back of his knee into the ground, pinning the Elf in place, and permanently crippling his leg.
Quaraun is seriously wounded, almost dies, and is left paralyzed for many months. By the time he is able to walk again, the soldiers are long gone with the baby. Quaraun spends years trying to find the baby. He is not reunited with his half-Elf daughter until Zebulon's Captive
From this volume onward, Quaraun walks aided by a cane, and drags his right leg, unable to lift it or bend it properly
And speaking of Zebulon's Captive...
The most severe injury Quaraun has to live with, happens in Zebulon's Captive.
Quaraun is inexplicable zapped out of his garden and into a distant future (2525) Earth, when Elves are facing extinction, and Humans are herding the few remaining Elves into breeding farms. Elves from all points of history, suddenly find themselves enslaved.
Initially, Quaraun is complacent, but he also refuses to be used as a breeder, and is ill treated by the Humans. He is sold from one breeder to the next until being bought by Zebulon. Zebulon is abusive to the Elves in his care. He is also a drunk with a hot temper.
When Quaraun refuses to breed with the females he is given, Zebulon starts to abuse the Elf. Most she-Elves are quick to force a reluctant male to breed, knowing the amount of abuse he'll receive if he doesn't. As new Elves commonly refuse to breed, the she-Elves try to force Quaraun, which results in his revealing to them that he is not an Elf, but rather a Thullid living in the body of a long dead Elf.
Scared, the she-Elves keep their distance from Quaraun and quickly begin to warn the others he is a Thullid. Soon the other male Elves take to beating Quaraun, and viciously attacking him. (As is typical for Elves to do to Thullids as Thullids eat Elves and so the Elves feel threatened by having a Thullid in their pen with them.)
Unable to speak the Elvish language, Zebulon does not understand why the females are refusing to get near Quaraun, why Quaraun is refusing to breed, and why the males are viciously attack him. A vet tells Zebulon that Quaraun appears to be an Elf outcast from Elf society. Zebulon's conclusion is that Quaraun needs to be beaten into submission and the she-Elves forced on him.
At first Quaraun does not fight back. When Zebulon sees a she-Elf try to breed with Quaraun, but then run away scared after he says something to her, he begins to put each new she-Elf he buys in the same pen with Quaraun to see what happens, and sees a pattern in the fact that something Quaraun says to them, frightens them.
Zebulon cures the problem, by holding Quaraun down and force feeding him boiling water, which burns the layers of his mouth and tongue, making him unable to talk. Unable to tell the she-Elves he is a Thullid and not an Elf, he becomes unable to stop the new she-Elves from force breeding with him.
Months later when he recovers his voice, he tells the females he is a Thullid and again they become scared. And again Zebulon burns the Elf's tongue to stop him talking. This event is repeated several times.
After many years in captivity, Quaraun becomes depressed and sullen and scared to talk. He reluctantly fathers many baby Ellves for the Human slave masters.
One day, Quaraun wakes up to discover that somewhere near by is an Elf that he's soul bound to. He immediately recognizes that his long lost missing half-Elf daughter (from A Baby For The Necromancer) is nearby. Frantic, he escapes his pen and seeks out the girl, now an adult, to find her in a pen with several males, whom Zebulon intended to have breed her.
Quaraun viciously attacks the male Elves and refuses to let any one near the half-Elf. Seeing that Quaraun is extremely defensive of this she-Elf and seeing that ike Quaraun she is a rare albino High Elf, Zebulon forces the two to become a breeding pair, thinking only of how much money he'll make selling rare white Elves to people.
After several pregnancies, each of which resulted in Zebulon taking the infants away immediately after birth, Quaraun and his half-Elf daughter become very emotionally close, with Quaraun now referring to her as his 3rd wife. Seeing that Quaraun is finally willingly breeding, Zebulon tries to get Quaraun to breed with several other females, but as before he tells them he is a Thullid and they become frightened of him.
Drunk, angry at his wife, and then seeing that Quaraun is once again saying something to scare the females, Zebulon in a blind rage once again burn's the old Elf's tongue, but this time does so with boiling oil. In agony, Quaraun tries to fight back, causing both of his hands and most of his face to also be burned.
This injury cripples him, leaving his hands dead and useless, burning the left side of his face down to the bone, and burning his mouth, throat, tongue, and esophagus, to the point he can no longer talk, has great difficulty breathing, and for the rest of his life is limited to the foods he is able to eat.
Realizing later, how badly he's injured the Elf, Zebulon retires Quaraun from breeding, has a vet tending his wounds, and intends to use Quaraun as a house pet for his wife. However, this plan involves taking the she-Elf he was paired to and giving her to another male. In spite of his life threatening injuries, Quaraun fights to protect his pregnant 3rd wife, in doing so kills Zebulon and his co-workers, then escapes with his pregnant wife.
The two Elves go into hiding, living in the forest, surviving off anything they can find, both becoming wild and feral. Eventually they end up being zapped by a portal back to their proper time, though they are not aware of this when it happens and continue to live in the wild, until Unicorn finds them and takes then back to Black Tower.
From this point on Quaraun is mute, to near mute. As he gets older, his throat heals enough for him to make attempts at verbal communication, but his ability to speak is limited even then.
Quaraun has 2 jobs:
Quaraun is a working wizard, a wizard who rather than sitting in a tower studying, travels from village to village running magical errands for people, questing for monsters in need of defeating, and making magic items.
Magic items are relatively rare, because wizards are uncommon. There are rarely more than 100 or so wizards on the planet at any given time, it's not a career many people look forward to and most were forced into it as children. Magic takes a hefty toll on a wizard's physical and mental health, many of the boys die in training before reaching adulthood. No one seeks to become a wizard.
Wizards are a type of priest, from various cult-like magic based religions. The non-magical priests, go out in search of boys (3 to 10 years old usually) whom they think have the ability to survive training and become wizards. The priests abduct the boys and take them far away, deliberately sending them to whatever temple is farthest from their home. The boys need to be calm and land back, able to sit and meditate for hours each day to focus their mind, then they need take that focus and psychically manipulate it into spellcasting.The boys often try to run away and find their way back home, because of this the priest chain them to the wall, and punish them by starving them and beating them. Boys with too much rebel will power will end up starved or beaten to death. Thus few seek to become wizards, most are forced into it, many die before reaching the point of becoming a wizard, and in the end only a handful of wizards ever emerge from the temples. Thus wizards are rare. As a result of their abusive upbringing and rigorous training, what few wizards there are, tend to be insane, use twisted logic, and have a trickster-like sense of humor.
Only the most advanced wizards have the skill and training to make magic items, so there are rarely more than a dozen wizards alive at any given time, who even know how to make magic items. A wizard who knows how to make magic items is usually going to be an Elf, a Faerie, or a Demon as this skill can take 300 or more years to learn, meaning only long lived species/races ever achieve this skill.
A wizard who can make magic items, can also make a fortune, as everyone wants to possess a magic item and is willing to pay dearly to have one made to their specifications. Kings will send men searching the globe to find a specific wizard to have a specific item made.
On the other hand, a wizard who makes magic items could also find his life in danger. Evil/villainous people are not beyond kidnapping a wizard and/or his family and torturing him or his family to force him to make some horrible cursed item.
Main character Quaraun is a maker of magic items, he specializes in taking clothing items (capes, coats, dresses, gloves, hats, boots, etc) and embroidering magic into the cloth. He makes elaborate works of embroidered artwork from shimmering silk threads and sparkling glass beads. He takes threads that have been imbued with magic powers, and enchanted beads and gemstones, and meditates ritualistic chants while sewing very specific symbols. The end result is a magic artifact straight out of a Dungeons and Dragons Adventurer's Vault.
No one knows, when they order a magic item from Quaraun, what exactly they will get. They tell him what they want (a coat) and what they want it to do (that allows them to know what is behind them)... Quaraun will always ask you:
"Are you should what you said, is what you want?"
He will repeat this question many times, emphasizing the fact that a wish must be carefully worded, for you will get exactly the thing you wished for, and NOT what you THOUGHT you were wishing for.
After asking a few more times: "Are you sure what you SAID, is exactly what you WANT?" he will agree to make for you exactly what you asked for.
He will also ask you to put your request in writing. He'll hand you a very long scroll/contract that you'll not read because it'd takes days to do so and you're in a hurry. At the bottom of the scroll is a place for you to write in your own words, what you want him to make. You write down: "A coat that lets me always know what is behind me."
and they will likely expect to get a simple looking brown coat, that allows them to blend in with the crowd and allows them to see as if they had eyes in the back of their head.
What they will likely get is a gaudy, frilly, ruffled, neon turquoise frock coat, decked out with peacock feathers, dripping in gold braid, and with purple and green metallic peacock feathers embroidered down the back and up the front and over the sleeves. At the center of each feather, it a eerily lifelike glass taxidermist's eye. There will be a few dozen eyes all over the coat.
(See 4th ed Dungeons and Dragons Adventurer's Vault #2 {shown above} page 79 for the actual item described on this page, which you can buy for your Player Character if you are playing a tabletop RPG and want a Coat of the All Seeing Eyes;
the book lists it as 325,000 gold pieces, and says it can see invisible creatures within 20 feet of the wearer; it also says the coat is alive and talks to you.
Yes, I DO get the magic items I have Quaraun make out of the D&D books, so if you see Quaraun in the novels with a magic item, it is something you can find the stats for and buy in D&D)
When you go to pick up the coat, you'll be shocked at the garish flamboyance of the elaborate work of art he has created. He'll tell you: This is a Coat of All Seeing Eyes
Info On Where To Find This Actual D&D Item For Your Game Character ----->
Quaraun will explain to you that when you wear the Coat of All Seeing Eyes, it will tell you everything it sees behind you.
Most people have mixed feelings about the magic items Quaraun makes for them, on one hand loving the item for what it does, and one the other hand not willing to be caught dead wearing the eye blinding glittering day glow, garishly flamboyant monstrosity he made it look like.
But than, there is the thing people overlook, which is the type of wizard Quaraun is.
Quaraun is a Wizard of the Di'Jinn Order.
He was raised and taught by Di'Jinn priests, and practices Di'Jinn magic, with everything that implies.
You pay Quaraun 325,000 gold coins, put on you Coat of All Seeing Eyes and head back to your village. All the way there, the coat is shouting at the top of it's lungs, announcing everything it sees behind you, making sure you KNOW what is behind you.
"Look at that giant oak tree!" the coat shouts out. "There goes a chicken across the road! Hey look, a squirrel! OMG! Look at the size of Bessy May's boobs! Hey there goes farmer Brown. Look at that dog humping that watermelon! Damn, Teddy just stepped in horse shit. Wow look at the Baker's wife, I'd sure like to fuck that ass."
The coat is screaming so loud everyone in town is looking at you, and suddenly you realize, the coat is mimicking your voice, so people think it's you yelling.
Quaraun is a Wizard of the Di'Jinn Order.
He's a rare wish granting wizard. He's the ONLY wish granting wizard alive during this time period. Yes, catch him, make him your prisoners, and he will grant you 3 wishes in exchange for his freedom.
Quaraun learns the trick of sending people to Fire Mountain from FarDarrig, the Vampire Leprechaun who lives in the Faerie Forest of Pepper Valley. He spends a week lost in the forest before he realizes what FarDarrig did to him.
In spite of being an Elf, Quaraun was raised by Di'Jinn Demons and has spent 2/3s of his life living with Trickster Faeries. Quaraun does not act like an Elf. It's why other Elves avoid having contact with him. He does act very much like a Faerie. He finds tormenting greedy Humans a hilariously fun pass time. Quaraun views Humans as stupid, greedy, gullible, dimwits who'll fall for anything.
And... it's not like you shouldn't have known any of this. That information was in the fine print. But you were in too much of a hurry to read the contract you signed.
You signed a contract which stated that you acknowledged you were buying a magic item made by a Wizard of the Di'Jinn Order, who was raised by Demons and lives with Trickster Faeries, and hates Humans and goes out of his way to annoy Humans whenever possible. In fact, the section of the contract on how much he hates Humans was several sections long.
Quaraun is very open and honest with the fact that he's going the scam the hell out of your ass. He also knows Humans are too stupid to take the time to read any contract before signing it, so knew that no matter what he put in it, you'd have agreed to, because you would not take the time to read it.
Quaraun is a Wizard of the Di'Jinn Order with everything that implies.
Quaraun once made a contract stating that he would do the job for free, provided you gave him your first born child on it's 1st birthday. The guy, who had no wife, laughed and signed the contract. Three years later his pregnant wife found a Di'Jinn wizard standing at the door reminding her of the fact that her baby was his by right of the contract her husband had signed before they had married.
Quaraun is a Wizard of the Di'Jinn Order with everything that implies.
Quaraun carries in his bag Leprechaun gold. Ask him where he got it and he will tell you. He'll even give you a map of how to get there. The map will be a blank page, that yells at you, bosses you around, and eventually tells you how to get to Fire Mountain in Pepper Valley. Once you get to the valley, you have to cross through the Faerie Forest that surrounds the volcano. You'll be at the entrance to the cave full of gold in under an hour. Five days later you are still walking and while you've gone many miles into the forest, you are still many miles from the mountain. You never reach the mountain, never find the gold, and it may be decades before you find your way back out of the Faerie Forest.
Quaraun is a Wizard of the Di'Jinn Order with everything that implies.
And so, here you are, with your Coat of the All Seeing Eyes, yelling lewd vulgar obscenities in your voice at every woman you walk past.
Infuriated, you'll head back to the gaudy pink pavilion tent set up in a field full of pink roses that were not growing their yesterday.
And there you'll find Quaraun, a wizard from 900s Persia, living in 1400s Quebec, dripping in 1980s pink sequins, sitting on his 1700s pink velvet cushioned gold throne, drinking 1970s pink lemonade laced with LSD, a pink Shetland pony Unicorn sitting beside him eating pink butterflies, pink turkeys are gobbling near by, pink goldfish chasing a phosphorescent half Elf, a giant purple pirate ship docked in the clouds, and a flock of pink sheep growing gold wool grazing off to the side. Quaraun sits smugly waiting for your return, grinning evilly, because he knows full well what you WANTED him to make, but he made instead EXACTLY what you ASKED him to make.
Quaraun is a Wizard of the Di'Jinn Order with everything that implies.
"What the hell did you make?" You demand.
"Exactly what you asked for," Quaraun replies.
"I wanted to see behind me!" you'll yell angrily at the Di'Jinn wizard.
He'll calmly reply: "You said you wanted to know what was behind you."
"You know what I meant!"
"No." Quaraun replies calmly. "I'm not a mind reader. I know what you said. I made what you said. That coat is always going to tell you what is behind you."
He pulls out his scroll you signed and points to the fact that you wrote: "A coat that lets me always know what is behind me."
"I wanted to see who was following me, discreetly."
He'll say: "You did not specify how you wanted the coat to notify you. Or what the coat was to notify you of."
He will agree to take the coat back, and make you another coat, but he'll charge you for the 2nd coat and not refund you for the first coat, (as per the contract you signed but neglected to read) and this time you'll carefully spell out exactly what you want, but, no matter how careful you are, he'll find the thing you forgot to say and and pounce on that.
You may end up having him make 4 or 5 coats before you get the one you actually want.
Yes, he knows full well he's scamming the daylights out of you. Quaraun also knows anyone stupid enough to pay 325,000 gold coins for a coat is also stupid enough to be scammed over and over again until they have no gold left to toss at him. You'll eventually get your coat exactly the way you want it, but you'll have given him everything you own by the time you reach that point. And then he (being a vagabond wizard travelling the world) will pack up his tent and move his caravan on to the next gullible sot looking to have a magic item made.
Quaraun is not unique in this habit of scamming people, all wizards are of the habit of doing this.It's just that the Di'Jinn wizards are tricksters who excel at making fools out of their clients. Di'Jinn put great importance on words and meanings and deeply dislike the way a Human says one thing when they mean something else.
All wizards are scam artists though. Many are thieves. Most wizards, travel with thieves or have servants who are master thieves. Often while you are talking to the wizard, his crew is cleaning out your saddlebags. Even ones who don't make magic items. Potion making wizards do the same thing, as do rainmaking weather controlling wizards.
Quaraun does that too... sends a dry spell to wither your crops, then arrives in your village selling rainmaking spells. You'll get your rain, but only because he'll lifted the spell he cast the stop your rain, not because of any rain making potions you bought.
Wizards as a rule are scam artists, crooks, charlatans, and thieves, who usually travel with side shows and circuses, and use magic to wow people, then drain them out of all their coins. Which is why most people don't like wizards and why few wizards are settled in a village and instead wander. If a wizard is settled in a village, you want to be cautious of the villagers - they are likely criminals, outlaws, and thieves who banded together to build a town.
In addition to magic items, Quaraun sells potions, spell scrolls, amulets, and other various magical odds and end. He often has rare supplies, ingredients, and curios on hand, which he'll sell at deeply overcharged prices to local mages, witches, healers, priests, and other magic users of the towns he passes through. Wizards are a very advanced type of magic users, and are often the person, who other magic users go to for advice, training, or supplies.
In any case, when it comes to magic clothing items, if you can think it, Quaraun can make it, though he'll scam you dry doing so, and first make several things that are not what you thought you were getting first.
Over all, magic items/artifacts in the Quaraun series are always over the top, rarely do what you expect them to do, usually have been brought to life by having a disembodied mimic spirit put in it, are a sentient being of some sort, have minds of their own, and likely are not going to work they way you thought they should...For example, a soldier may order a powerful magic sword, and find himself in battle with a sword that refuses to be used as a weapon because it dreams of being a butter knife in a palace and refuses to do anything but butter toast.
As stated above, Quaraun is a wizard for hire, and being a very advanced and very powerful wizard, capable of casting super high powered dragon killing spells, making very powerful magic items, and granting wishes (three things most wizards only dream they could do) means he has skills unique enough and sought after enough, to allow him to name his price, and no matter how much it is, still have people pay it.
Anyone who has ever played D&D knows that the price a magic item making wizard can charge for making magic items, is exorbitant to borderline ridiculous. That doesn't stop DMs from charging the prices straight out of the game guide or players from hoarding up every penny to pay them.
You already saw that the game guide lists the Coat of All Seeing Eyes at 325,000 gold coins.
To get a better understanding of the prices charged by magic item making wizards such as Quaraun, here's some other items listed in the books I've linked to in the boxes to the sides here:
In the real world, in 1300s England, the average income for a working man was 130 silver pieces PER YEAR.
Quaraun is making and selling these items at standard D&D prices, meaning even wealthy noblemen have to save for many years to afford to hire him.
This also means that Quaraun only has to make 1 magic item to earn more money in one week then the average king will see in his lifetime.
Because his skill at making magic items is so rare, he has virtually no competition and can charge whatever the hell he wants.
Interestingly, while Quaraun charges HUMANS the insane prices seen above, he will often make those same items for non-Humans at a fraction of the cost he spends on materials. For example, while he'll charge a Human 3,125,000 gp for a Flying Carpet, he may decide to charge a Gnome only 350 gp for that same carpet. And for his friends, especially GhoulSpawn, he'll give them the item for free.
GhoulSpawn has an obscene amount of magic items, dozens and dozens of them - all gifts from Quaraun.
Quaraun frequently makes magic items to give as gifts to his favorite prostitutes, the mothers of his illegitimate children, and as gifts to said children. He like wise does the same to his wives and their children.
While Quaraun is a working wizard for hire and goes on quests for people needing magical assistance and makes magic items for people, charging deeply overpriced fees for both services, he actually has no need to work and could if he wanted to, easily do absolutely nothing, just living off the vast hoard of gold he keeps in Fire Mountain.
Quaraun, having killed a dragon and now possessing it's vast hoard, which fills an entire volcano, is extremely obscenely wealthy. He makes Scrooge McDuck and Richie Rich combined together both look poor.
He is likely the wealthiest person in the universe, let alone on the planet, but he can not count, and because of his Autism has no concept of how to use money, nor any ability to grasp the concept of wealth, so is blissfully unaware of the true wealth he is in possession of. He really has no need to work, but he also doesn't realize that.
Unfortunately, because of his mental handicap, many people he encounters quickly realize that he is both very wealthy and also too retarded to know he is wealthy, making it easy for people to take advantage of him. He frequently encounters Humans who find ways to scam him out of his money and is constantly in need of Unicorn and/or GhoulSpawn to usher him away from unscrupulous people.
Both Unicorn and GhoulSpawn are aware that Quaraun suffers from a serious mental handicap, but neither draw attention to it and both tend to let him "do his thing" while they keep a look out for people who would hurt him or take advantage of him. Because Humans are greedy, money hungry bastards with no moral decency, it is usually Humans who go after Quaraun's money.
Because Quaraun thinks nothing of handing people an entire handful of gold coins when they asked for only a penny, along with the aloof 'not-caring-about-money' manner in which he does it, this often leads people to believe he is arrogant, elitist, or stuck up. This in turn results in him frequently being bullied and not understanding why. He remains baffled over why he is accused of being arrogant and does not understand the Humans' insatiable lust for money combined with their insatiable hatred for everything that is not Human.
Quaraun is in fact the least arrogant, most caring, most compassionate character of the series and is seen as arrogant by people who are in fact themselves arrogant and see him through the tainted glasses of arrogance in which they view others.
While he knows he can head to the volcano to get gold and jewels whenever he needs money, Quaraun rarely thinks he needs it, and thus is often travelling penniless, and when he does have gold coins with him, tends to spend it on super flashy impractical things, and lots of over the top jewelry.
While he wanders the world often sleeping under bridges like a homeless bum, he also spends money like it grow on trees and frequently runs out of what he has on hand and has to return to the volcano to get more.
This results in him at times living like he was poor as dirt, often forced to be begging for food from taverns, but at the same time, dressing like royalty and having every possession he ever wanted.
Quaraun's son & Roderic's father: Melaca Swanzen
That being said, Quaraun acknowledges having 6 spouses: 2 males and 4 females, as follows:
He has 8 children that he generally acknowledges publicly as being his. These 8 being born to his wives. His first wife had 2 sets of twins. His third wife had a pair of twins as well.
Three of his children go on to become extremely famous and are primary characters of The Twighlight Manor series:
He has an additional 37 half-Elf children by non-Elf prostitutes that he pays support for and frequently visits. There are multiple times when these are twins.
As mentioned, he does occasional use prostitutes and has many children of various mixes races from this as well. An exact number is never given, though one novel does state that he "fathered 37 illegitimate children with prostitutes" and there is frequent mention of the fact that he returns to certain whorehouses multiple times a year to check in on his children by the various prostitutes to see if they are in need of anything. While rarely in their lives, he does pay the mothers very large sums of money/gold coins so they can provide for the children he fathered.
In the case of the prostitutes, when/if he learns they've had his child/ren he offers to marry them and bring them into his family, but these women tend to be very independant and not seeking a husband or married life and thus decline his offer.
In Zebulon's Captive he is taken into slavery and used as a breeder. When Zebulon buys him, the seller tells Zebulon that Quaraun had fathered 14 children in their facility, including multiple sets of twins, but that he was a difficult Elf to work with, was refusing to bred with the females, and had to be forced to do so, by mated to females willing to forcibly bred him. Later in the same novel, Zebulon tells another slave owner that Quaraun had fertilized "more then a dozen females" and that most had given birth to twins or triplets.
Quaraun embroiders and grows roses.
He sews all of his elaborate outfits, then embroiders them, and hand beads them.
He likes walking and traveling.
Plus he's a wizard for hire, just for the sake of helping people.
I'm running from my dark past or a thing I did. Where's the best place to lay low? from worldbuilding
This question is perfect for me! The primary plot point of the entire Quaraun series, is the fact that he's on the run. That's why I have to world build so many places, so many regions, so many towns... he's in a different one in every novel, some times multiple ones each novel. With the guy always on the run, I'm constantly having to create expansions to the world to give him more places to hide.
Okay, bit of a set up... the place is Earth, but it's not "our" Earth. Earth has multiple dimensions and layers or realms all existing on top of each other. Every time, every place, every era, they are all happening at once. Portals sometimes open up allowing people to walk through unknowingly and vanish from their time/version of Earth (think Lost City of Roanoke.) Every realm/dimension/version/layer of Earth has MOSTLY the same geography, place names, and history. Not all the species of one version exist on all the others, Our real world Earth has no Elves for example, yet the dimension the story takes place in does. Stories of Elves exist in our world, because at some point an Elf fell through to our world. Demons come from a Hell dimension of Earth, which is our Earth, but covered in volcanoes (volcano is Quebec, Florida, Egypt, etc.) In the Hell dimension the whole planet is burning hot, and no region has snow, but it is still Earth. Demons are always trying to escape the heat, so Humans of our world frequently encounter them.
In the dimension where the main character is from and where you now find yourself running from the law, it's the 1400s, but it feels like the 900s. The setting is Maine and Quebec, but Scottish and Scandinavian civilizations are living in small villages here. The timeline is mixed up and cultures are in different locations, it's Earth, but it's not "our" Earth.
>**So, my dark and mysterious past has finally caught up to me, or I have committed a crime. I need to find a place where I can hide from the enemies I've made in the past and/or the law. I ask you:**
With the world the way it is right now, you may not be a criminal. You only have to be the wrong race/species to be hunted down right now.
The world is in upheaval right now. Humans are at war. The Elves don't know why. They never know why. Humans fight at the drop of a hat. Elves try to mind their own business and stay out of the way.
If you are running from the law, then you are likely to be an Elf, a Faerie, a Demon, or a half-Elf. Your crime simply having been born a non-Human.
Racial tensions are high right now, and Humans are marching across the land in an anti-non-Human death march, razing non-Human villages, raping, pillaging, slaughtering, in a classical Viking-like frenzy... think of our real world history: the 793 Viking razing of the monastery of Lindisfarne, if Lindisfarne was French Canadian Elves instead of British monks and every Human on the planet was a bloodthirsty Viking-like warrior Templar knights with Spanish Inquisition torture tactics, hell bent on eradicating the planet of all non-Humans.
The non-Human races are fast reaching extinction. The Dwarves and Gnomes are feared already extinct, no one has seen either in decades. Most Demons have been sent to the Hell dimension, a place they are not native to, the prison the Humans cast them into because they did not know how to kill Demons. The main character is the last of the Moon Elves, nearly the last High Elf, and travelling what is believed to be the last Unicorn, they are joined by a half-Elf who is also half-Demon.
But you are non-Human, AND a criminal... they'll not simply mass slaughter you with the rest of your kin. They'll take you prisoner and torture you for days, weeks - however long they can keep you alive - the longer you suffer the better. So for you, you need to run far. Run fast. And get far away from the Humans. They'll show you no mercy, for the only thing worse than a non-Human, is a criminal non-Human. They'll want to make an example of you.
>I'm running from my dark past or a thing I did. Where's the best place to lay low?
Get to the coast as fast as you can. Head East. Northern New England. Maine. Quebec. Avoid inland. Don't head West. West is where the big cities are. The law likes to sit on their cushy seats and give orders. The magistrates are few and far between, so stick to the bigger cities and don't get out the the smaller villages on the coat that often.
It's never good to travel alone. There is safety in numbers. If you can find others of your own kind, headed East and travel in their group. Some will ask you to pay for your share of supplies, others will share with you freely what they have. Elves prefer to travel with Elves, Fae with Fae, Demons with Demons, Half Elves with Half Elves.... but if you are a criminal, and they recognize you as such, they may ask you to leave their group and find another to travel with. They don't want to be caught aiding a criminal. Not in these times. The risk is too great.
All is not lost though, as bands of criminals can often be found travelling together and generally will welcome you into their caravan or wagon train without any questions asked. They know only a criminal would risk traveling with them, and the less they know of each other's past, the better their chances should the group get caught.
The 3 characters mentioned above? The Elf, the Fae Pony and the Demon-Elf?
All 3 are criminals - a Necromancer, a murderer, and a thief.
The Elf is a wealthy aristocrat traveling in a Persian-like caravan, he has a kind heart, but a snide attitude. He'll let you join the group, but give you a hard time about it at first. He's bitchy and whinny and complains about everything, but he's also very protective of everyone traveling with him and will quickly defend you, even though he doesn't know you, simply because he defends his own, and you by traveling with him are now seen as being under his care. He was once a king. His kingdom is gone, but he still takes a protective leadership stance whenever the opportunity arises. He's also Quaraun the Insane - the world's most wanted criminal. Necromancer, serial killer, cannibal, time traveller, murderer of his wife and children, killer of Gibedon the Great, builder of the Lich Lords, the Necromancer who controls and commands the world's deadliest Lich, the world's most powerful wizard, hair longer than Rapunzel's, the infamous Pink Necromancer, prancing around in the 1400s wearing a hot pink sequined ball gown he got in the 1980s.
If you can find his group, join them... if you do get caught, the law will be so busy attacking him, they won't even notice you.
If you do join his group though, don't turn your back on that tint black Shetland Pony with the gleaming silver horn on his forehead. He's the world's deadliest Lich. Inside that sweet innocent little pony, is a monster that will readily tear your entrails out, eat your liver, then wear your head on his horn like a crown.
>Where should I go?
Follow the Pink Necromancer. Just keep going East. In spite of him looking like Liberace's harmless 5'6" girlfriend, this sweet, innocent, harmless looking, flamboyant, pink glitter cloaked transvestite Elf is the deadliest wizard on the planet. Limping along on a cane and barely able to walk, he doesn't worry about needing to run. He doesn't need to. He'll use psychic mind powers to take out the lawmen who are chasing you before you have time to realize they were upon you, then walk over their dead bodies and keep on heading East.
You want to get as close to the coast as you can get. Traveling with Quaraun is your best bet to get there alive.
Do not tell him your story of why you are on the run. Not while he is traveling. He won't stop traveling to help you. Wait until he stops at a tavern to rest. And wait until he's drunk.
>Why should I go there?
Pirates. Drug Dealers. Prostitutes. Thieves.
Not all Humans are out to mass murder the non-Humans.
And those snooty pants good two shoes from the cities in the West, are too scared of the bands of criminals in the East to dare set foot on the East coast.
You want to go right down on the waterfront. Right on the ocean, the docks, the ports. Where the sailors are hanging around looking for ships to crew on.
The entire coastline is made up of pirates, criminals, thieves, whores, bootleggers, moonshiners, and other individuals out cast from upper class society. You'll be seen with suspicion at first. You could be the law in disguise. They don't know you yet. If your face is on wanted posters, show it around. They'll buy you drinks and celebrate having a new member in their ranks. The seedy underbelly stick together and protect each other. Thieves along side murderers. They don't care how minor or major your crime was - you are wanted by the law, that makes you one of them. This is your new family now. They look out for each other.
The magistrates are scared to come into these small coastal towns. Even though they know that most of the criminals they are looking for are there - one magistrate with a couple of guardsmen, doesn't stand a chance against an entire town of criminals all banded together.
You'll be safe here.
>Who will I find there?
If you haven't found him yet, look for the Pink Necromancer. He's a wizard for hire. And he doesn't like Humans. It may take you a few days to find him, he travels up and down the coast, and may be as far North as the Bay of Fundy or Ivujivik (his birthplace), or as far South as Bostan. Usually he can be found in or near Old Orchard Beach, Maine (his current home town, where he lives in a lighthouse).
While small villages on the outskirts of society tend to be welcoming of wizards, most inland towns, Western cities, large villages, and upscale regions see wizards as little more then the scum of the Earth. As a result of this Wizards are rarely seen in areas with big populations. Wizards tend to skulk around in lower class, shady places - slums, ports, docks, seedy taverns, and places that are highly infested with pirates, criminals, thieves, whores, bootleggers, moonshiners, and other individuals out cast from upper class society. This is true of of wizards, Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn as well.
Because of this most of the Quaraun series takes place in taverns and inns of ill repute, along the coast, usually in bars on sea ports. Pirates, drunks, drug dealers, prostitutes, and sailors are thus a daily part of Quaraun's life as this is the society he lives with and is a part of. Quaraun is himself often mellowed out on Opium, high on LSD, drunk of Faerie Wine, and/or in bed with prostitutes.
To find him, go to any tavern, bar, pub, or whorehouse. Look around the back for him and his Unicorn, bickering and getting drunk. If you don't see him, ask the barmaids and prostitutes if they know where he is or where he was last heading. They'll likely know. When you find him, sit down at his table and tell him your story.
When you first sit down, he'll throw a temper tantrum, probably throw the table across the room, and demand you get out. Don't leave. He won't hurt you and once he sees you've not gotten out of your seat, he'll calm down and listen to what you have to say. He will help you. You'll have to ask a few times, and he'll want to know what you are willing to pay. Don't offer him money - that offends him. Offer him something more valuable to you personally - like your grandmother's wedding ring. Don't worry, he won't take it, but he will agree to help you once he sees you are willing to give up something you can not replace. Whoever is after you... he will stop them, and you won't ever have to run from them again.
Because they are themselves heavily persecuted, Wizards are often more accepting of minorities, and outcasts of society. Wizards tend to be sympathetic towards Faeries, Demons, half-Elves, thieves, prostitutes, coloured races, same sex couples, and transgender people. Quaraun is no exception to this and is quick to show sympathy for most every person he meets, who is in any way hunted by Humans.
Quaraun himself is hunted by a renegade militia type "law" group known as The Guild. If by chance you are being hunted by them too, the fastest way to get his help, is to simply sit down at his table and before he has a chance to object, say to him: "The Guild is after me, you gotta help me." He'll drop everything to jump on any chance to take out another Guild member. He's been picking them off the past few years and is trying to get rid of their entire group.
Remember, no matter what you did, no matter what the law wants you for, Quaraun the Insane is the most wanted criminal on the planet. All the other criminals are scared of him. Every one in these coastal towns knows him. Most of the prostitutes have bedded with him. And don't you dare think twice about double crossing him. A Faerie name Kelim did that once. The Pink Necromancer killed the lawmen, then hunted down Kelim, killed his wife, his children, and every last person in his village, but left Kelim alive and alone to think about what he had done.
If you are considering turning him in because you need money, just ask him for money. Don't try to blackmail him - don't mention the reward on his head - he'll just zap your head off with his wand and feed you to his Unicorn. Just tell him a sob story of you're being hard up and in need money, he'll toss you a bag of gold coins, worth way more then the price on his head. He's mega Richie Rich wealthy and never refuses to give money to someone who asks.
>How long should I stay there?
If you can locate him and get Quaraun to help you get the law off your back... not long. A week or two at the most. He'll have them off your back and in his Unicorn's stomach and you can go back home.
If you can't find him, you may be there a while - years perhaps. Maybe the rest of your life. But, you'll be in good, albeit criminal, company.
Quaraun is a priest of the Di'Jinn order.
The Di'Jinn are priests who worship a female Elder God known as the Sacred Pink Jelly Fish.
The religion is a Demon religion, practiced by Demons, specifically the Thullids, a type of Chaos Demons, and the goddess herself is a Thullid. Normally no non-Demons are members of this religion and he is in fact the only Elf to ever join this religion, which has resulted in his being cast out of Elven society, seen by other Elves as a traitor. He came to join this religion, because as a small child his mother was murdered by his father, and he was about to be murdered with her, except a Di'Jinn priest was passing by and saw the enraged Elf beat his wife to death then turn on his son. The priest offered to buy the boy to keep as his slave. The father agreed and sold his son to the Demon. The Demon took the boy back to the Temple of the Di'Jinn in Persia, where he was raised as though he was just another Demon. The result was an Elf raised among Thullid Chaos Demons and adopting the religion of the Thullid family who raised him.
(The name Thullid comes from Cthulu by the way.)
BoomFuzzy the Unicorn
aka
King Gwallmaiic
King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn is his best friend.
Elves and Demons both have long life spans of around 500 to 750 years old, with a few living to be 1,000 years old. (Life span varies depending on race).
The age difference between Quaraun and Unicorn is massive, with Unicorn being about 2,000 years older then Quaraun.
Quaraun is born around the year 983 and dies around the year 1733 (living about 750 years).
Unicorn is born around 600B.C. and died the same day as Quaraun in around 1733. Living around 2,500 years. (Faeries are the longest lived species, with a 2,000 year life span, being typical.)
Though none is related to either of the others, Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn think of each other as family and share a deep emotional bond with each other. Each looks out for the other two, and each suffers from extreme separation anxiety when separated from the other two.
Quaraun lives with two other wizards: The Illusionist Wizard King Gwallmaiic/BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, and The half-Elf/half Demon Chaos Wizard GhoulSpawn.
All three of them have been victims of violent hate crimes against wizards. Each of the three of them is scared to live alone.
Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn each rely on the other two for everything. You will almost never see any one of these three wizards without the other two close by. If one is separated from the other two, all three become highly agitated and nervous, with the two who are still together, going on a terror driven panicked search for the one that has gone missing.
None of these three Wizards feels safe on his own and is deeply emotionally dependent on having the other two by his side. All three of them suffer from serious anxiety when separated from the other two. Each of them is fiercely protective of the other two.
While small villages on the outskirts of society tend to be welcoming of wizards, most large cities and upscale regions see wizards as little more then the scum of the Earth. As a result of this Wizards are rarely seen in areas with big populations. Wizards tend to sculk around in lower class, shady places - slums, ports, docks, seedy taverns, and places that are highly infested with pirates, criminals, thieves, whores, bootleggers, moonshiners, and other individuals out cast from upper class society. This is true of Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn as well.
Because of this most of the Quaraun series takes place in taverns and inns of ill repute, along the coast, usually in bars on sea ports. Pirates, drunks, drug dealers, prostitutes, and sailors are thus a daily part of Quaraun's life as this is the society he lives with and is a part of. Quaraun is himself often mellowed out on Opium, high on LSD, drunk of Faerie Wine, and/or in bed with prostitutes.
Everything.
Nope. Everything. Absolutely, positively everything. Here's why:
Main character: Quaraun, is a Moon Elf - Moon Elves are the highest ranking of the aristocratic High Elf races. The Moon Elves are radical extremists. They act dramatically different from typical Elves of the world and are more of a fanatical cult, then a culture. Any Elf born into their society who does not fit in with their ideals will be singled out an bullied horrifically. Quaraun is one such Elf who was singled out by the others, due to his habit of being friendly towards half-Elves, Faeries, and other non-Elves. Before the punishment (described below) he was often making attempts to teach his people that they culture was one of hate and should have instead been one of love.
His primary lover: King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn - a Phooka (a type of Dark Trickster Faerie) (he was raised a Phooka; but is actually half Aswang as well - his father was a Phooka his mother an Aswang) Aswangs are vicious blood sucking almost demonic shapeshifting Faeries from South Asia, for some unknown reason all Aswangs are female and breed with Phookas, likewise all Phookas are male and breed with Aswangs - Faeries are strange in this way, that they are able to be born always male or always female - Phookas are one of the most bloodthirsty of all the Fae - they are born in the form of swamp dwelling black furred Shetland Ponies with silver horns, long talons instead of hooves, and sharp fangs, but can shapeshift into any form. Phookas delight in pretending to be sweet innocent injured ponies, then when some one stops to help them, they turn back to there little demonic pony true form, viciously stab the person to dead with their horn, trapple their entrails under their feet to feel the blood swishing through their toes, the eat the person, saving the skull which they skewer onto their horn and wear like a crown on their heads. Most Phooka eat Humans, but a few prefer Elves and are known as The Elf Eaters. Being one of the many a types of horned Faerie horses, they are sometime referred to as "Evil Little Unicorns"
Moon Elves are a strangely inconsistent lot when it comes to crimes. They will overlook a crime committed by one, and punish the same crime committed by another.
For example: Murder is a grave sin, especially murdering a member of your family unit. If you murder a member of your family, you will be cast out of Elf society, a horrific punishment as Elves are all connected by a psychic hive mind that allows them to live telepathically joined to one another, thus no Elf is ever alone in his head. An outcast Elf, will have this psychic connection cut off. He will be as alone in his head as a Human, and for an Elf, this is a fae worse then death. Most Elves once outcast, will commit suicide as the loneliness become unbearable. Many outcast Elves say they would rather have been executed then excommunicated.
In ALL Elf societies, not just Moon Elves, the punishment for murder is to be out cast. The reason being that MOST Elves abhore death and have no death penalty. An Elf completely refuses to take a life. When an enemy attacks, an Elf would rather surrender and be killed, then defend themselves if it meant they had to take a life to do so. Elves are closely connected to nature, refuse to kill animals or plants as well. They are able to hear the thoughts of plants and animals. All Elves are vegan as a result. They go to the extremes of refusing to eat any part of a planet that results in the plant's death (thus carrots are not part of their diet.) This is how important an Elf sees life, all life, any life, even the life of a murderer, to be.
In the Elf mind Murder is the worst sin of all, as it robs a living creature of its freedom to be alive.
In Elf society murder is the worst crime, and murder of a family member is the worst type of murder...
Yet Quaraun's father, publicly beat his mother to death, shattering her skull and crushing her brain, while most of the village watched and did nothing. He went unpunished.
Why?
Because he was a Moon Elf, and Moon Elves, don't care about non-Moon Elf life. Unlike other Elves, Moon Elves are not vegan. They eat plants with no thought to killing the plant, they eat animals - including other Elves and Humans. It's only considered cannibalism if you eat another Moon Elf, but any other type of Elf is on the menu as, they are of tainted blood and the not worthy of being alive, according to Moon Elf mind set.
In Moon Elf society, murdering another Moon Elf is a crime, but first, what you did has to be considered to be murder...
Quaraun's father, publicly beat his mother to death, shattering her skull and crushing her brain, while most of the village watched and did nothing. He went unpunished. Because he had (falsely) accused her of bedding with a Faerie. There was no evidence to support this accusation, nor could any Fae be found in the region. Though murdering a family member is strictly forbidden and punishable, he went unpunished for murdering his wife, because in the minds of the others, she had committed the worst sin possible: she bedded with a non-Elf at the risk of creating a half-Elf mongrel. Thus no one saw it as murder when he killed her, but rather they saw it as him serving justice.
And that therefore brings us to the worst possible crime that could be committed in Moon elf society: Sexual Relations with non-Elves. Or even to have sex with an Elf that is any race of Elf other then a Moon Elf.
The Moon Elves believe (without proof or evidence) that they are the purest, most god-like, of any being in all creation, by virtue of their being the whitest skinned, whitest haired species or race known to exist. They are a race of Elves made up entirely of albinos (a result of many generations of incest, as real world albinism is caused by 3 generations of incest, thus I could not justify writing an albino character that was not medically accurate to the real world.)
While every one knows the High Elves are known for being a little odd and are prone to delusional arrogant self images of grandeur, the Moon Elves in particular, take this to levels that go beyond insanity. The most fanatical extremists of all the aristocratic High Elves, Moon Elves glorify their whiter then white pure whiteness taking their white Elf pure blooded superiority to levels of the utmost extreme, to the point that they kill at birth all none albino babies, and then turn on the mother accusing her of having bedded with a non-Moon Elf.
It's the 900s when Quaraun was born. It's the 900s when his mother died. It's early Medieval period, long before anyone knew of genetic variations causing different colour of skin. In the Moon Elf mind, if a baby is just a few shades darker then it's father, even if still technically albion, that is enough to warrant killing both baby and mother.
If a Moon Elf toddler starts acting emotional or not Elf-like, the father will kill the child, claiming it was a Faerie Changeling, then kill the mother claiming she was an adulteress who bedded with a Faerie.
This was the case with Quaraun and his parents. Quaraun at age 3, started displaying "Faerie behaviour" of laughters and smiling and dancing around with flowers. His father responded by murdering his mother. He was about to murder the child as well, but the Moon Elf King stepped in and declared it was better to spare the child and sell him as a slave to a Demon priest, stating that the child was not to blame for the sins of the mother. Thus Quaraun was raised by a group of Demon priests.
Most Humans (in the series) would look at the "execution" of the wife/mother and think "it was because she committed adultery" and then would mumble something about the Bible and Christian morals, etc, completely overlooking the fact that the Elves are not Christians and have no concept of the Bible. *(The series is set in the 900s to 1400s Earth, and thus features the whole "templar knights"/"Church of England" mind set in the Human characters, who immediately compare everything to how they translate the Bible.)*
However, in actuality, adultery had nothing to do with it. Moon Elves are not bothered by their spouses bedding with other Moon Elves. A male Moon Elf bedding with his neighbour's wife or vice versa, is seen as normal Moon Elf behaviour.
The actual crime was not "adultery" but rather "muddying the blood" or taking a risk at creating a half-Elf. Moon Elves claim to have the purest, most direct bloodline to god, and to defile the purity of their divine blood is the worst sin that can be committed.
Henrich Kramer has just published the Maleficus Maleficarum, the witch hunting craze is just getting started. Millions are about to be murdered across Europe in the name of cleansing the Earth od witches. Magistrates are being hung as fast as witches because they say their needs to be law and order while witch hunting crazed mobs are just screaming "kill the witch". This is the Human world these Elves are living in. So that's the type of mentality/mindset of the series.
And the Elves are more hysterical and fanatical than the Humans!
In other words, there is no due process for you. No justice system. You are at the mercy of the mob, who are not waiting around for the magistrate to arrive and deal "justice" that may not weigh with what they want. They were called The Dark Ages for a reason. Logic has given way to angry mobs and you don't stand a fighting chance. Your best bet is to run for the nearest forest and hope you can find a place to hide.
If you are a Moon Elf and you bedded with a non-Moon Elf, you are at the mercy of your accusers regardless of if you are guilty or not. You may be stoned, you may be hung, you may be striped naked and tied to horses then dragged through the streets. Each of those things has been done. You are at the mercy of the mob, what they do to you, depends on the whims of the mob.
If you are a female, you'll be seen as "a silly female who is slave to her lust" and your death will be much quicker, that if you are a male who is seen as "more intelligent" and ths should know better. A female will be killed within a few hours, a male will be tortured for days, or weeks if you can stay alive that long.
If by chance you are somehow an important member of society (likely part of the royal family) you may only be tortured, then castrated, then cut out of the hive mind and outcast, but left to live.
In most cases there is no proof or evidence, and it's just one person pointing a finger, often that person knows full well you are innocent and just wants to be rid of you.
The Moon Elves are so fanatical in their hatred for all things not them, that they can be riled into a murderous frenzied mob at the drop of a pin.
(Most Elves are NOT like this. Most Elves are peaceful. The High Elves are prone to more radical thinking due to their excessive drug use, which is the reason they are call "high" Elves. Moon Elves are the most extreme of the extremists. Moon Elf society is not typical of all Elves, they are seen by other Elves as radical extremists. Most Elves try to avoid contact with the Moon elves because as a general the Moon Elves are seen to be insane. The Moon Elves live isolated from the rest of society and rarely come down out of the mountains.)
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In the case of Quaraun, he was caught in bed with a what they thought was a half-Elf/half-Faerie. Even though the Fae was a male and no chance of creating a half-Elf from two males bedding together, this did not matter. All that mattered was he was a Moon Elf and the person in his bed with him was not, the non-Elf's gender was not taken into consideration. Also not taken into consideration was the time, place, or conditions... it was a blizzard, the two had become trapped in a storm, they had slept huddled together to keep warm through the storm. They had not had sex and were just sleeping together because it was a very cold winter night. But there was no explaining this to an angry mob, because one was a Moon Elf and the other a Faerie and that was the only thing anyone saw.
The Faerie escaped the mob, and fled to the forest, not realizing what was about to be done to the Elf else he would have stayed to prevent it,, but he was unfamiliar with Moon Elf ways. Quaraun was dragged out of bed, stripped naked, dragged through the street by horse, taken to a tree at the center of the village, hung upside down by his ankles, and left there for 5 days while the villagers threw rocks at him, hit him, beat him with sticks, cut him with knives, etc. His own father took a knife and mutilated his genitals leaving him nearly castrated, then sliced his belly open pulling his entrails out of him. When it became obvious Quaraun was near death, they took him down, dragged him out into the forest, near where an Elf Eating Phooka had been sighted, and used him as bait in a trap to try to catch the beast.
Unknown to the Moon Elves is what type of Fae it had been, that they had found in bed with Quaraun. What they saw was a little old man, a tiny half Elf half Faerie, whom they likely assumed to be a Leprechaun or FarDarrig. That they were setting up a Phooka trap, nearly at the front door of the old candy maker's gingerbread house, was completely overlooked by them.
Quaraun survived as the Faerie returned, emerging from his gingerbread house to see what it was the Elves were doing in his front yard... the mob by that point (it had been 5 days) was calmed down quite a bit and only a few of them were still at it. When the old crippled little Half-Elf toddled out of his gingerbread house, limping along on a seemingly lame leg, looking like harmless Phooka bait himself, he asked the Moon Elves what they were doing, they explained to him "We're catching a Phooka, go back to your candy shop, we'll deal with you later."
To which the tiny old man replied "What if the Phooka you seek loves the Elf you've used for bait and is unhappy with how you've treated his lover?"
The Elves started laughing, but the old man, being a shapeshifter, melted away to reveal he was in fact King Gwallmaiic, the demonic black Unicorn they were trying to catch, King of the Faeries and the Elf Eater himself. Before the Elves had time to react, the Elf Eating Phooka slaughtered the Elves in the mob, turned into a giant fire breathing Friesian stallion and trampled them under his hooves, then eat them and galloped off laughing hysterically with their heads skewered on his horn. Never trust a Unicorn - their innocence is a facade. Or little old men with gingerbread houses - as no one who was not evil, ever lived in a gingerbread house.
(This scene comes from the novel titled "BoomFuzzy" btw.)
Quaraun would have died from his injuries that day, but the Faerie King used Fae magic to put the wounded Elf in a RipVanWinkle-coma-like sleep which lasted for several months, while he tended to the Elf's wounds. As it turned out, the Faerie King was not as evil as rumours said he was and the Phooka had great compassion for any wounded beast he encountered, and was appalled by the way the Elf had been treated by his own kin. When Quaraun woke up after the spell was lifted, he thought it was only minutes later and that the mob was still after him, not realizing his attackers were dead. He was traumatized out of his mind, so mentally deranged with fear that he was unable to function in society any more (thus why he became called "Quaraun the Insane"). The Faerie King, seeing that the poor Elf would never be able to return to Elf society, and realizing that it was his fault this had happened to the Elf, kept the now insane Elf as his pet/lover, thus the accusation that had been false, because true after the fact. (Theirs is a Seme-Uke relationship, Quaraun is the Uke.)
Since then Quaraun became afraid to sleep, going days on end refusing to sleep and sleeping only when he finally collapses from exhaustion. At which point his Phookan lover watches over him and protects him. Quaraun suffers from serious PTSD, and though he is himself an Elf, he now has a phobia of Elves and avoids contact with them, becoming a wandering vagabond wizard, living on the run, always fearing another mob is just around the corner waiting to kill him. He was deeply traumatized. He walks a dozen or more miles every day, obsessively unable to stop walking, for fear if he does, he'll be attacked again.
Most Elves do not survive an ordeal like this. Quaraun is one of the few known, to have not been killed by this method. Many said, that due to his mental state after, it would have been better had he not lived through the punishment, as his quality of life had been reduced to his being terrified to be alive and always running from shadows, frightened out of his mind of every sight and sound that passes near him.
Pink.
Quaraun loves pink.
Wears pink, painted his tower pink.
Quaraun's obsession with wearing pink clothes often gets him in trouble.
Quaraun is a full blooded High Elf, born into a clan that is fanatically racist against everything not them, including other Elves. They have laws against half-Elves and laws against being friends with non-Elves.
Quaraun's two best friends are a Faerie (Unicorn) and a half-Demon/half-Elf (GhoulSpawn). Of his 4 wives, one is a Human, one is a half-Elf, and one is an alien.
There are several instances when people try to bully his half-Elf friend GhoulSpawn, and Quaraun is quick to stand up for him, protecting and defending the half-Elf. Quaraun is often classified by other Elves as "insane" simply because he is willing to be friends with a half-Elf.
It is not so much of a political view, as it is Quaraun not seeing the point of being a mean spirited, white power, bigoted hate monger.
Later in life, he has to struggle with the ban on Thullids.
All of the Thullids are gathered together and slaughtered.
Thullids being alien jelly fish that get into a person's brain, eat the brain, killing their host, then living inside the body, pretending to be the person they killed. Basically a pod-people sort of thing.
Humans from the future, go back to the past and gather up all the Thullids, then systematically murder them, by beheading them, removing the jellyfish, and then crushing it. This is how Quaraun dies, an event that GhoulSpawn witnessed and was traumatized by.
GhoulSpawn is captured, along with Quaraun. While Quaraun is brutally murdered by the Thullid haters, they let GhoulSpawn live, not realizing that he too is a Thullid, assuming him to have been nothing more then a Thrall to Quaraun.
After Quaraun's death, Gremlin begins to travel back in time and change events in Quaraun's life, trying to prevent the events which ultimately lead up to Quaraun's murder. Gremlin is the "shadowy figure" mentioned in several scenes of several novels (for example the scene in BoomFuzzy when Gibedon stabs BoomFuzzy and a "shadowy figure" appears and pulls Quaraun out of the room to prevent him from seeing what Gibedon did.)
Different from his race/ethnicity, is the prejudices because of his career. While Wizardry was once seen as an Elite Class of Highly Respected Priests, by the time period of the Quaraun series (around the 1450s) Wizards have lost their social standing and are now seen as scum of the Earth no better then prostitutes, thieves, and charletons.
Main character, Quaraun, is typical of most Wizards in the Quaraun series. He was taken from his family by a Thullid priest at the age of 9. Born in Quebec, he was raised by the DiJinn in Persia, on the other side of the planet. As an adult he escaped his captors and made the long journey back home. He was not accepted back into Elf society and seen as a freak. The other Elves teased and bullied him. He is often beaten, raped, and several times publicly humiliated by being striped naked and hung upside down from a tree in the village center, where the villagers would gather to beat him with sticks and throw rocks at him. It was during one of these events, that one Elf took a knife and attempted to castrate him, resulting in the horrific scars and permanent damage done to his penis, which in turn results in his near inability to have sexual intercourse, resulting in him eventually preferring to be a bottom to other men, resulting in his 3 way relationship with his two male lovers Unicorn and GhoulSpawn.
Space Dock 13
aka
The Black Tower
For a wizard to be publicly beaten, humiliated, and castrated is not uncommon. Many wizards are eunuchs because of this.
Society's ill treatment of wizards, is the cause of many wizards believing in celibacy, most refusing to have sex, falsely claiming to be eunuchs to prevent themselves being castrated by angry mobs.
Because Wizards are often hunted down and killed by the law, it became common practice for Wizards to live in isolated regions - on top difficult to reach mountains, in isolated deserts, or on tiny islands in the ocean.
Most Wizards took to living in tall stone towers as a way to protect themselves from the mindless hate of simple-minded Humans, with nothing better to do then bully those different then themselves.
While the top floor of the these tall towers have windows, there are no windows on the lower levels, and the door into the tower is invisible to the naked eye, hidden by powerful spells to prevent anyone from gaining access.
It is not uncommon for a Wizard to disguise his tower as something else, such as a Lighthouse.
Many Wizards, especially those whom have been heavily abused by society, are fearful of having contact with other people, often to the point of agoraphobicly locking themselves in their towers and never setting foot outside again. Later on in life, Quaraun is one such wizard.
It is not uncommon for a small group of wizards to band together, as other wizards are often the only friends a wizard has. Thus if one does see a wizard, it is likely you'll see more then one.
Quaraun himself, lives with two other wizards: The Illusionist Wizard King Gwallmaiic/BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, and The Chaos Wizard GhoulSpawn. All three of them have been victims of violent race crimes against wizards. Each of the three of them is scared to live alone. All three of them live together in Black Tower.
Because they are themselves heavily persecuted, Wizards are often more accepting of minorities, and outcasts of society. Wizards tend to be sympathetic towards Faeries, Demons, half-Elves, thieves, prostitutes, coloured races, same sex couples, and transgender people. Quaraun is no exception to this and is quick to show sympathy for most every person he meets.
Both Wizards and their towers are a rare thing to see. Only a handful of Wizards exist in the world. Probably fewer then 100 Wizards are alive at any given time period.
Quaraun in fact, when he is at home, lives in a haunted lighthouse known as The Black Tower.
Black Tower (also known as Space Dock # 13) is an interdimensional beacon, that exists in many places at once. There are at least 7 planets it is known to exist on simultaneously, and it also exists at all points of Earth's history.
Eel-Kat, leader of the Ptarmagin Kats, is seen on the cover of this book.
The Wizards did not build it. It was in fact built by the Ptarmagin Kets, a group of highly intelligent aliens, who resemble common domestic house cats, and have infiltrated planet Earth, by pretending to be house cats.
There are 21 of these interdimensional beacons, each being a port, for the Kat's space ship which they park at the bottom of deep oceans, and then lock into place using a tractor bean from the beacon.
Known as "The Haunted Lighthouse" to Humans, and "Black Tower" to the Elves, it's true name is Space Dock #13, it being the 13th such interdimensional beacon built by the Ptarmagin Kats.
The Kats, wishing to keep a low profile while on Earth and knowing that most wizards are thought of as being insane, thus no one would believe a wizard if he said he saw a talking cat... the Kats thus often confide in Wizards and hire Wizards to keep notes of Human activity and report back to the Kats.
No one really knows why the Kats are on Earth and what they do with the notes Wizards give them, but Wizards, being lonely outcasts unable to find friends elsewhere, and desperately desiring to have someone to talk too, often are seen with these black alien cats riding on their shoulders or scampering along behind them, whom the Humans call "familiars".
Quaraun, like most Elves in general is a vegetarian. Early in life, before he had the dragon's hoard, Quaraun is described as overly skinny.
Quaraun also loves candy, chocolates, and pastries, and later in life, after having the dragon's hoard and the ability to buy endless pastries, Quaraun begins to gain weight, being described as "chubby" as a result of this.
Quaraun's favorite food is chocolate covered apricots and eggnog.
Unlike GhoulSpawn, who is very, very sexual, Quaraun has almost no sexual desire at all.
Quaraun is asexual, meaning a person with no sex drive.
He is also demi-sexual, meaning though he is uninterested in sex, he is aware that his partners have sex drives and will have sex with them.
Quaraun is frequently seen with many prostitutes, whom he enjoys socializing with, and pays them to spend time with him, though he rarely ever has sex with them.
It is not uncommon for the 3 of the wizards (Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn) to spend the night at whore houses, with only GhoulSpawn ever having sex with the women, and then all of them, the 3 wizards and the women, sleeping together. (As in actual sleep.) This is due to Quaraun being a pure blooded High Elf, and his species, normally have communal sleeping habits with a dozen or more people all in bed together. Elves are often noted for stating: "No one really notices who is cuddled up with who, just as long as everyone is together, it's all good."
Quaraun is an extremely emotional and extremely social Elf. He gets lonely when not in a group and becomes suicidally depressed when alone completely. Unicorn and GhoulSpawn long ago discovered the danger of leaving Quaraun by himself, as Quaraun often attempts suicide if there is no one with him.
His needing to have people with him, is a large part of why he goes to whore houses and will request that 4 or 5 girls spend the night with him, requesting that they only cuddle with him and keep him company during the night, but not have sex with him.
Because of the injury to his penis (mentioned earlier) Quaraun is very shy about his mutilating scars and refuses to let any one look at him naked...including Unicorn and GhoulSpawn.
Women whom Quaraun has had sex with, say the scars make him better at giving them orgasms.
Because sex is difficult and painful for him, Quaraun rarely every uses females and instead bottoms to other men.
When one looks at the amount of children he has, this would seem a contradiction. But one must take into consideration he lived for 750 years and most of the pregnancies were twins or triplets, which means he was only having sex with females once every 2 or 3 decades. (Once every 20 to 30 years.)
Quaraun frequently bottoms for GhoulSpawn.
Later on in their relationship, GhoulSpawn and Unicorn together frequently double stuff Quaraun.
Later in the series, when Quaraun's third wife enters the relationship, Quaraun and GhoulSpawn are both frequently in her at once.
I always write my male main characters with small penises and big balls. And have there love interests prefer these features.
Why?
In my experience the bigger the dick the smaller the balls, but the smaller the dick, the bigger the balls; in my case it's not so much the size of the penis I'm interested in as it is the size of the balls... I just like a guy that is hung like a horse (keeping in mind that "hung like a horse" is a reference to big balls that swing freely during sex - for some reason a lot of people think it refers to the dick - obviously they never raised horses)
basically, if you ain't got big enough balls to have a hefty swing to them, I ain't interested, and every man I've ever seen who had the kind of balls I liked, also had a small penis.
There is a scientific reason for it as well - a big dick, stretches the skin forward and lifts the scrotum, compressing the sac size, causing the balls to be smaller and closer to the body; whereas a small penis, has a looser sheath skin, that allows the ball sac to stretch downward away from the body, allowing the balls themselves to hang low and swing.
Additionally, an uncircumcised man has more skin to work with, resulting in even lower hung and better swinging balls.
Any woman who's ever had sex with a man who's balls were hung low enough to slap against her during sex, knows why the preference for a smaller and uncircumcised penis, because it = better orgasm for her.
Quaraun is therefore designed in this manner. Thus the small penis, large balls, and being uncircumcised. Additionally his penal sub incision scars enhance the pleasure for his partners.
What does he prefer? He actually doesn't have a preference and his partners are all quite a bit different from each other physically and racially. Quaraun prefers anyone who can overlook his eccentricities and accept him as he is, which most people don't do.
Moon Elves glow in the dark on nights of the full moon.
A Moon Elf can be identified from other types of Elves for this reason.
Quaraun likes to hang out at taverns/bars and whore houses - to the point that it could be said he practically lives at them.
Being an Elf who has had very little interaction with Humans, he finds it fascinating to watch Humans go about their daily lives.
He has a tendency to jump up and run away at the slightest sound. He is extremely flighty. From childhood, he has a tendency towards extreme paranoia, due to the level of abuse he was subjected to.
Most people say he is smug and arrogant. And around strangers he often is. This however is more of a show then anything else, as Quaraun is very small, very short, has a crippled lame leg, can not run, has difficulty walking, is in poor health, and knows he can not win a fight or outrun an attacker. Thus when frightened or in the company of people he either does not know or does not trust, he becomes seemingly very smug and arrogant, as a way to mask his fear and low self esteem.
When approached by a stranger, he becomes very bitchy, excessively angry, and will often start throwing a temper tantrum. Again this is more show than real anger. It's him becoming very frightened and trying to get you to back away from him. You've invaded his personal space, making him feel threatened and uncomfortable. He knows that most people do not like to become the center of attention and will quickly slink away if someone near them is making a scene, so the first thing he does when a stranger approaches him, is make the biggest, loudest scene he can. Think of him like a peacock fluffing his tail to scare away any threats. So while strangers see him as being arrogant and bitchy, what they are actually seeing is him being extremely frightened and putting on a show because he's trying to get you to back away from him and leave him alone.
While he can often seem very extroverted, he is in vact very introverted, self conscious, shy, and suffers from very low self esteem.
Quaraun has a marked lack of social skills, can act very immature and childish, and often is clueless to the fact that many things he says come off as highly offensive.
Because of his Autism, Quaraun has no concept of slang, colloquialisms, idioms, proverbial phrases, acronyms, insinuations, metaphors, hyperbole, exaggeration ,innuendos, or euphemisms and says exactly what he means. He will not understand the meaning of what someone says if they do not use direct dictionary meanings of words.
For example, if something happens a long time ago and a person says to him: "that happened a million years ago" (hyperbole) he will literally believe it happened exactly 1 million years ago, and not understand that you meant to say: "that happened a long time ago." Or if you say: "Money talks" meaning you want him to bribe you with money before you'll answer him, he will assume you have an enchanted coin that literally has conversations with you.
Elves normally are very prim and proper, daintily living by social etiquettes, quietly sipping tea, politely keeping their voices down. Quaraun, having not been raised by Elves, lacks these traits.
Quaraun was raised by Demons and lives with Faeries and acts like both. He's rude, brash, swears, uses crude vulgar language, drinks wine from the bottle or guzzled out of beer mugs, burps in public, hikes up his skirts and puts his feet on the table, and over all has no manners whatsoever.
The world's most powerful wizard/most feared necromancer, suffers from punding and can be easily defeated by anyone who knew to mess up any neatly organized row/set of objects near him. The sight of something messed up and out of place distracts his concentration so bad, that he'll have to stop whatever dastardly deed of evil that he is doing, to go straightening up, whatever it is you messed up. Once he gets started neatening and organizing, he'll find other things in need of being sorted out, and will be busy for hours. It'll be 10 or 12 hours later before he remembers he was in the middle of some dastardly deed, but by that time whomever he was after is long gone.
Of all the things that Quaraun does however, his most marked characteristic, the one that stands out more then anything else, is Punding .
Punding is a type of nervous tic, that people with severe levels of social anxiety do. Autistics, Aspies, people with PTSD and OCD, all display various levels of Punding. It can vary from mildly disruptive of every day functions, to completely crippling their ability to function in normal society. The level of severity can change from one day to the next depending on the situation.
Quaraun has Stereotypy, Tics, Stimming, and Punding going out the wazoo. He's doing one or the other constantly and has far too many variations of each to count.
Let's try to count a few of his most common Stereotypy, Tics, Stimming, and Pundings:
Someone with Autism has rituals they have to perform at certain times of the day. Rituals that must be done exactly every time, with no amount of change.
Quaraun has very long hair, In excess of 12 feet. Every morning, at the exact same time of every day, he very carefully lets his hair down and brushes it 100 times. It doesn't matter what is going on around him - thunder, lightening, war, pirates attacking the ship he's on - Quaraun will not stop brushing his hair until he has counted to a hundred strokes. And if you interrupt him and make him lose count, he starts over again.
While this is seen as a minor annoyance (by other characters) in almost every novel, this activity takes front and center stage in Captain Quick and the Pirate Ship Rent-A-Prize, when Quaraun is in the middle of his morning hair brushing ritual, as pirates attack the ship and take the crew hostage and much to the annoyance of the pirates, Quaraun refuses to allow himself to be taken hostage until after he has finished brushing his hair, which causes the pirates to realize Quaraun is close to being mentally retarded, which results in their singling him out from the rest of the crew to beat and rape him.
In nearly every novel, you also see, Quaraun's daily ritual of unpacking his bag of holding, then unpacking the boxes in the bag, one box in particular becoming his focus. The large wooden box is filled with dozens of tiny hand blow glass bottles, each a bright vibrant colour.
Every night before bed, Quaraun unpacks the box, carefully lining up the bottles in rainbow order (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink), lining them up along the floor for no particular reason at all, then carefully putting them back in the box.
The group had stopped for the night and as usual, Quaraun was busy emptying his bag of holding on the ground and lining up it's contents in a row.
"Quaraun," BeaLuna said to the Elf. "We need the tent."
"Okay," Quaraun said, while opening his box of tiny vials and making no attempt to get the tent out of his bag.
BeaLuna helped Bullgaar lay out the bedrolls, while Unicorn watched and did absolutely nothing to help them set up camp.
Several minutes passed.
"Quaraun," BeaLuna said. "You didn't get out the tent yet."
"I know."
"I know you know. Why didn't you do it?"
"I'm busy."
"Busy? Busy? BUSY! You call THIS busy? You're not doing anything!"
"I'm counting."
"You do this every night, Quaraun."
"I know."
"It's getting dark. I'm tired. I want to go to bed. We need the tent set up."
"In a minute."
"Your 'in a minutes' go on for hours. Just put the damned tent up, you can do this after."
"I'm almost done."
"No you're not. You'll be doing this for hours. Put the tent up, so we can get some sleep. You can do this later."
"No. I have to do it now."
"No you don't. The tent has to go up now. This can wait."
"I have to make sure they're all here."
"How could any of them not be there. You have them in a box in a box in a bag, tied to your belt, that you never let out of your sight. There's no way anything could be missing."
"I can't lose any of them."
"Quaraun, stop it."
"No."
"Quaraun, you don't have to do this."
"Yes. I do."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"No."
"Then why are you doing it?"
"I have to."
"Quaraun. Stop."
The Elf continued lining the bottles up, very carefully making sure the line was straight, and fussing over any bottle not in perfect alignment to the one beside it.
"Quaraun. This is getting ridiculous."
The Elf was no longer listening to her. He was now working on a row of heart shaped bottles, beside the row of star shaped bottles.
"Are you listening to me?" The Gnome yelled.
Quaraun said nothing. He was preoccupied with his work.
"Leave de twit alone, BeaLuna," Unicorn said. "Him is nay hurting not'ing."
"He's driving me crazy."
"Well, join da club."
"If you hadn't noticed, he's been doing that every single damned night."
"I had noted. I does nay see da problem. Him no hurting not'ing."
"Do you have any idea how much time we lose each day, waiting for him to be an idiot?"
"It not likes we gots no place we needs ta be."
"He spends two hours every morning with his hair."
"Have ya seen how long hims hair is?"
"He could try being sane and cutting it like a normal person would do."
"Him has superstitions 'bouts hims hair."
"He hasn't cut his hair in 300 years."
"I knows it."
"He spends two hours every night lining up those damned bottles."
"Again, him not bot'ering no one."
BeaLuna glared at Quaraun, who was now working on a row of round, globe shaped bottles.
"WILL YOU STOP IT!"
BeaLuna grabbed the box and pushed it and the bottles off to the side, knocking every one of them out of order.
Quaraun sat, dumb founded, staring at the mixed up pile of bottles on the ground. The whole group fell silent, watching Quaraun and waiting to see how he would react, expecting him to start screaming at any moment, knowing that such an interruption usually resulted in a temper tantrum, but he continued to stare silently at the bottles. He didn't move. Every muscle was rigid and stiff. His hands began to tremble.
"I think you broke him," Bullgaar said.
~From "The Journey Begins" (Volume 4 of The Quaraun series)
Wikipedia has the following to say about Punding:
Punding activity is characterized by compulsive fascination with and performance of repetitive, mechanical tasks, such as assembling and disassembling, collecting, or sorting household objects. For example, punding may consist of activities such as:
People engaging in punding find immersion in such activities comforting, even when it serves no purpose, and generally find it very frustrating to be diverted from them. They are not generally aware that there is a compulsive element, but will continue even when they have good reason to stop. Rylander describes a burglar who started punding, and could not stop, even though he was suffering from an increasing apprehension of being caught. Interrupting can lead to various responses, including violent rage.
Quaraun is too depressed to think he has ever done anything worthy of being seen as an achievement.
Before 2014, the original cover art for the Quaraun series featured the Bag of Holding, shown from a different angle on each cover.
Since 2014, the Bag of Holding is now seen on all the covers of the series.
Not as an Elf.
The Thullid who lives inside of his body, is in fact the Sacred Pink Jelly Fish herself.
The Di'Jinn priests named him Quaraun (which is a real Persian name that means "one who walks with god"), after they took the Sacred Pink Jelly Fish and implanted her into his brain. Essentially they killed the Elf, and his body was used as a "husk" to allow the Goddess to be able to have a body of her own and walk freely among the people (rather than being stuck in a fish tank, which is where she lived before being implanted into the Moon Elf's body.) (This is "Demon Possession" by the way. In the Quaraun series, Demons can literally take your body and live inside of it, making your their puppet. - In other words, Quaraun is a Demon Possessed Moon Elf.)
Because she has no concept of any Earth society or culture and she has psionic powers, she often wishes her attackers dead, and whomever is beating/bullying/humiliation the Elf, simply drops dead. Which resulted in the world as a whole being terrified of Quaraun calling him "the world's most powerful wizard".
In the novels, you see Quaraun go back and forth between calling himself a male Elf and using male pronouns, to calling herself a female Thullid and using female pronouns, because he is both, him being a male Elf with a female Thullid living inside him.
The Sacred Pink Jellyfish is an Elder Brain that can control all the other Thullids. She has psionic powers, that cause Quaraun to be able to kill every person on a planet, simply by saying "Die!"
His pink beaded heart shaped bag of holding, which is seen on the cover of every volume of the series.
With the exception of the volcano full of dragon gold, everything he owns is in this bag. All his cloths, all his jewelry, all his weapons, Gibedon's head, the black obsidian dagger, his big pink thorne, his even bigger pink tent.
BoomFuzzy.
While he loves all of his spouses, he favors BookFuzzy the Unicorn over the rest and makes no secret of this favoritism.
GhoulSpawn and Pippiatta, he loves nearly as much, with the 3 of them being the lovers he dotes on constantly.
Yes.
Hurting his family.
He is very protective of his family.
He did sacrifice 4 of his children in order to use their souls to resurrect his lover.
After the deaths of his 4 children, Quaraun is unable to stay settled and wanders across the planet for the next 400 years.
He tends to live in a pink pavilion tent that he sets up along road sides.
One of my players, who is male, plays an 11 year old girl. I did a little research, and that is about the time women get her first period. My question is: Am I a sick wierdo for thinking of putting that in my game? Is it a little sexist? Is it going to be funny for putting a male player in that kind of situation? Maybe I should just forget about it. I just want to get some opinions, especially if there are female players reading this. However unlikely that might be. Anyways, comment away.
A question for players playing a female character(Regardless of irl gender): Have you ever RPed "That time of the month"? from DungeonsAndDragons
>especially if there are female players reading this. However unlikely that might be.
You do realize there are MORE female players than male players, but that girls tend to avoid playing with guys, because of very things like this topic?
In every game group I've ever been in (dozens in the last 40 years) every group always started out with a high rate of female players, usually at a rate of 3 girls for every 1 guy in the group. By the 3rd or 4th game session the girls would start dropping out, because the guy players would think bullying and teasing the girl players was not only funny, but okay because "I'm not the one teasing her, it's my character doing it".
Let me tell you a story about why all girl game groups exist and why it is so hard to get a girl to play with a guy.
I'm a girl.
I DM 3 different game groups.
I'm a player in many more.
In most games I play the same character. THIS CHARACTER. He is a male Elf wizard. In spite of my being a female in real life, I find it's not safe to lay a female in game due to the way male players have their male characters bully female characters. Thus outside of an all girl group, I play male characters.
Here's why...
Pointing out here that, as a teenager age 14, 40 years ago, I was raped in real life and so I don't find rape funny... in the real world, or in a game session... I don't find sexual harassment on ANY level funny... and people who think making sexual jokes is funny, absolutely disgust me...
One game group in college had 5 female players and 9 male players. I was one of the 5 girls, and I was playing the male Elf wizard character I linked to above. One night about 10 sessions into the game, the PCs came to a tavern for the night. A gang of Mountain Trolls has been harassing the village and we are about to go deal with that in the morning. The DM asks the players what they are going to do...
An Wood Elf Ranger says that for his turn he's gonna "Sell the High Elf to the Mountain Trolls as a sex slave."... he adds out of character that, it's what a Wood Elf would do because Wood Elves don't like High Elves.
This roll is successful.
So, I get sold as a sex slave to a gang of Mountain Trolls.
The DM, immediately turns to the others in the group, and says: "He just sold one of your teammates into slavery what are you gonna do?" (He's obviously expecting them to rescue me and turn on the Wood Elf)
The Dwarf says: "I start taking bets on how many trolls can fuck the slut before she dies." Like the other player, he adds "Nothing personal, it's just that Dwarves don't like Elves and I have to play it like my character would."
Keep in mind, that though I'm a female in real life I am playing a MALEcharacter.
One by one each of the male players have their characters making lewd remarks, one says he's off to masterbate while he "watched the she-Elf get raped by trolls" adding that, he's a Human and that's what Humans would do.
As this whole thing unfolds, the DM's face is draining of every emotion as absolute horror comes over him. The DM is just a kid, maybe 21 years old and he's trying to run a game of fighting monsters, and this "let's rape the she-Elf" mob that the players turned into was clearly the last thing he expected to happen.
But the thing is... We had been playing weekly sessions for months now, and the fact that my character was a male was very plainly states over and over again. The DM always referred to him as male, the other girl players referred to him as male.... the guy players, REFUSED to acknowledge that this was a male Elf. And in game had now sold a MALE Elf to a group of horny male trolls as a sex slave.
As you know, all the game sessions I played in, have gone on to be part of the Quaraun series.
The game session when Quaraun was sold by a Wood Elf to a gang of Mountain Trolls, appears in The Obsidian Idol of the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley.
It was quick thinking on the DM's part, to have the trolls enraged at having been cheated, and turn on the party members that sold the Eld into slavery, soon as they striped my character naked and realized - we got us a boy Elf here...
The guys in the group were sitting around shocked... no one of them had been aware of the fact my character was a male. They had been too busy tossing sex jokes at the girl players the past 3 months, to pay attention to the fact that the girl players were playing male characters.
One guy jumped up infuriated and yelled: "No one told me the wizard was a tranny!" He stormed out of the room and never came back to another game session after that.
Even though the DM and all the girl players had paid attention to the game and knew the character was a male, the guys playing the game with us, were too busy poking fun at the girl players to notice their characters were males, and this event, resulted in them now accusing me of playing a transvestite, even though I wasn't.
Three of the guys left the group that night never to return, each stating that they had only joined our group because they were looking for geeky girls to get in bed with, stating that "geeky girls are easy", but adding that they didn't want anything to do with girls who played as boy characters because it was inappropriate.
After the game ended the poor DM came up to me apologizing over and over again. "I thought the group would rescue you and punish the Wood Elf. I had no idea they would all join him. I'm so sorry. This is not what I had planned."
BTW... as a result of that game session...
I now play Quaraun as a transvestite, as in the game session the following week, the remaining characters had to come up with an explanation as to how the Wood Elf succeeded in selling my male character as a female... because the players who left, left on grounds of they wanted nothing to do with transvestites... we went with it. Now 2 decades later Quaraun is still a male Elf and is still getting sold into slavery by other players as we took a very bad game session gone wrong and turned it into a running gag, with my poor Elf being the groups "damsel in distress".
This is also the game session that resulted in my character becoming the paranoid nervous wreck I would play him as later. Along with why from that game session forward, he has no ability to trust his team mates in any game, and why he now suffers from PTSD.
These are all things that were NOT part of his character, before that game session.
And while that event was certainly the most extreme I had encountered... sadly it was very typical of most game groups and is the reason why when girls play D&D they tend to form all girl player groups and avoid letting guys know they have game nights for girls.
For some reason, guys feel that sexually harassing girls in character is okay because it's their character and "not them" doing it.
Well, in the case of your question here.... perhaps it would be best if you turned the tables around... if you force a female character to act out getting her first period.... do you also force a male character to act out getting his first erection?
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Never put a player or their character in an embarrassing position, it'll ruin the game for everyone and leave your players heading to forums to tell nightmare stories of the DM that was a bully instead of being a great story teller.
I think the question is this: Do you want your players to see you as their leader they look up to or a bully they no longer want to spend time with?
D&D should be a time when EVERYONE is having fun... not just the bullies who have fun at the expense of others.
You got to remember, in a game like D&D, it's easy for players to get caught up in herd mentality and attack a player "in character" and not realize how badly they hurt the real person's feelings. I've seen a lot of "in character jokes" be used as excuses to hurt people. It shouldn't happen, but it does, and your job as DM, is to make sure it doesn't happen.
When the DM sets out to include things in a game that are embarrassing or single out a player... you're only asking for a can of worms that has chances of hurting someone and ending friendships. While embarrassing a person may be fun for the bully, it's not fun for the person being bullied, and forcing your players into embarrassing situations, is bullying the players. No player should ever be made to feel the DM is bullying them.
The short answer: If you have to ask if doing a thing might hurt someone's feelings, then you already know it well.
If you are wondering where the rest of the questions went (the original Squidoo article had 1,000 of them), I've only included here, the ones which I answered for this character. See other character profiles for other questions.
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You can find out more about GhoulSpawn HERE.
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Embark on magical journeys with The Quaraun series—a captivating LGBTQA+ Sweet Romantic Cozy Gothic Fantasy short story series that will transport you to realms beyond imagination. Step into a world where love, adventure, and enchantment intertwine, and join the trio of non-Human male lovers—an Elven necromancer, a Faerie chef, and a time-traveling sheep-Demon—as they embark on extraordinary quests and discover the true power of their love.
Prepare to be spellbound as you delve into the magical journeys that await within the pages of The Quaraun series. Experience the wonder of fantastical realms, where ancient castles hold untold secrets, mystical creatures roam freely, and the veil between worlds is paper-thin. With each turn of the page, you'll be transported to breathtaking landscapes and immerse yourself in the rich tapestry of this enchanting world.
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In The Quaraun series, every adventure is infused with the essence of magic. From the whimsical encounters with mischievous sprites to the awe-inspiring encounters with ancient deities, these magical journeys will ignite your imagination and leave you yearning for more. Allow yourself to be transported to a world where dreams come true and where the power of love and magic knows no limits.
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Don't miss out on the opportunity to immerse yourself in the magical journeys of The Quaraun series. Click now to unlock the secrets of this captivating LGBTQA+ Sweet Romantic Cozy Gothic Fantasy short story series and let the magic unfold. Prepare to be enthralled, enchanted, and inspired as you join the trio on their extraordinary quests. Embrace the magic and embark on a journey like no other.
The Quaraun series on Amazon:
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