Update: April 16, 2022

Tomorrow is Easter.

Easter, like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Mother's day is one of the worst days of the year. A day that celebrates children and motherhood. On November 14, 2013, while I was 8 month pregnant, and putting bags on the back seat of my car, three still unidentified attackers, brought golf clubs down on my back, breaking my spine and murdering my baby. I am legally blind and almost deaf, so I neither heard nor saw them coming. I read lips, so you must be facing me for me to hear you. Bring legally blind, you also must be less than 3 feet in front of me for me to see your lips, to know you are talking. Because of this it was very easy for them to sneak up behind me while I leaned into my car, putting bags on the seat.

They broke 3 vertebrae in my spine, the shattered bones severing my spinal column, permanently damaging many nerves. Because of this nerve damage I have limited use of my left arm and hand, difficulty breathing, my bladder and intestines no longer function properly requiring adult diapers, massive tremors in both hands prevent me from being able to do basic things like brush my hair or hold a spoon to eat. These are just things from the nerve damage. 

Additionally they broke my pelvis, my hips, and my knees.

I was paralyzed for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. Today I can walk on a very limited basis, aided by a cane, but every step is seeking pain, like lightning bolts going through my leg, across my pelvis and up my spine.

Because of this I was bedridden from 2013 to 2015. And all of that time I had no use of my hands, so I was not online either. And thus was unaware that during that time, a group of locals set to social media to build up massive slanderous rumors about me. They created a huge fairy tale meme of me being an Erotica author, a porn star, a transvestite, a male to female transgender, gay, and an alien abductee. I am none of those things but they spent 3 years, on hundreds of accounts on Facebook and Twitter, many of them fake "Eelkat" accounts where they were pretending to be me, building up this massive slanderous web of lies about me, and I had no idea they were doing it, until October 2021, 9 years after they started doing it.

April 10, 2015 a group of 74 locals, many of them wearing ku klux klan white hooded robes, arrived at my farm. 14 of them held me, Ben, my mother, and one of my 3 younger brothers down on the ice and snow while holding guns to our heads, while the others used cinder block bricks and a metal pole device with wire loops on the end, to beat and behead, 10 of my 12 foster children, then nail their heads to my door. The youngest was 4 years old. The oldest was 16 years old. They chanted "too gay for the family friendly town of old Orchard Beach" while accusing me, my pink Volvo, my pink motor home, and Ben of being gay, transgender, transvestite, and citing that guys were not allowed in Maine.

THIS is what gay haters in Maine do to people they THINK, might maybe, be gay, even though they are not.

No man, woman or child is safe in Maine, so long as these murders walk free. They will kill anything they determine to be gay, even if it is not, as can be seen my the murder of my children.

They also had hundreds of paperback copies of my books, burning them in a huge bonfire on my lawn while calling them gay Erotica and calling mean Erotica author and porn star. (I'm an author, I write a travel blog style series about a homeless man who backpacks his way across Maine, there is no sex in the series. I'm a Mormon, I've never written a sex scene.)

My family was murdered and I am crippled for the rest of my life, because of this group who has been slandering me on social media. But, at the time of these two attacks (November 14, 2013 and April 10,2015) me and my family were unaware of these slanderous rumors the locals of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine were spreading not only on Facebook and Twitter, but by word of mouth around town as well.

May 2021, I started walking around town again, for the first time since being paralyzed 9 years ago on November 14, 2013, and it quickly became apparent something was seriously wrong with the locals.

I was unable to walk my dog on Main Street, Bradbury Street, Harvey Street, or Cutts Street Biddeford, where I have lived since becoming paralyzed, but not before gone outside, because of being paralyzed and bedridden and unable to walk until now…

I was unable to walk my dog on Main Street, Bradbury Street, Harvey Street, or Cutts Street Biddeford without being attacked, pushed off the sidewalk by random strangers running up to me and grabbing my cane and using it to push me in the road in front of cars while accusing me of being gay, transgender, or transvestite. Screaming "transvestite freak" while throwing rocks at me. Group of women joggers stopping to surround me and harass me while saying guys aren't allowed on their street. 

October 2021, my Volvo returned to my driveway after 3 years of being completely rebuilt, after the February 2019 attack on it with baseball bats completely destroyed it. Within 5 minutes of starting to repaint it, 2 men showed up in my driveway yelling about aliens and demons and Etoile and because of this I stopped painting fish on the door, painted over the fish and painted a portrait of Etiole instead. 

November 19, 2021 the red haired American woman from the 2016 High Street attack on my navy blue pick up truck, showed up on the porch here on Main Street. 

The location is 409 Main Street, the big white farmhouse Victorian on the 3way corner of Harvey Lane and Cutts street, right at the train tracks. It has 2 driveways one on Main Street and one on Harvey. There are multiple porches. It's the porch on the Main street side, that goes up the driveway alongside the abortive cedar tree hedge, where I park my painted Volvo. That porch is the one this woman shows up on. 

It's an elderly couple and mother in law who live there at that porch.  When they leave for work, this woman shows up when they are not home and stands on the porch bellowing like a fog horn screaming death threats at me, yelling crazy demon and alien slander about Etiole, making the claim of putting a bomb in the tail pipe of my car, screaming about suicide demons and evil eye curses, and yelling about someone named Todd Murphy (I don't know who that is, I get the impression he's a relative or boyfriend or ex of hers or something, but I don't any one by that name, so I don't know who he is. I don't know who she is either.) She looks to be maybe 30s to 40s aged. 

She was here again yesterday. She was bragging that she got a fight started with my mother and the Atwaters on Facebook, laughing about how easy it is to get my mother and her ex fighting and the old woman was giving her hell and telling her to get off the Atwaters Facebook and leave them alone. 

This happened less then an hour after my mother made the claim that a woman of the same short haired blond description, assaulted her and my father at an ATM machine, the blond woman claiming to my mother to be my father's girlfriend, my father claiming he never saw her before. 

All this happened on April 10, 2022, the 7 year anniversary of the murder of my foster children, and the blond woman who was here in my driveway after the ATM attack was bragging the anniversary is why she is instigating the fighting between my parents. 

I did not see the ATM attack, so, I do not know what happened other then what my mother and father are saying. 

I did however see her here in my driveway.

She does not live here. She's shows up in a silver pick-up truck driven by a small skinny blonde man. No one here at this building knows who she is.

There is another blonde woman, older sometimes with her. I do recognize the older woman. She's one of the November 14, 2013 golf club attackers. The one the others who were with her called "Claire". She looks to be in her 60s. Usually wears a blue denim button down man's worksheet as a coat. She sometimes drives a gold Volvo suv around 2004vintage, sometimes a silver Subaru suv, sometimes a mega sized white Nissan 4 door white pick-up truck, and sometimes a pine dark green pick up truck. She frequently has another older woman with her, who calls herself "Kendra" and has very, very long natural red curly hair, sometimes she wears big Janis Joplin glasses and sometimes cyberpunk cyclops lime green glasses, she frequently carries a small white poodle dog. The dog is often wearing either a purple dragon or a black skeleton costume. These 2 older women and a younger bald man are the 2013 golf club attackers who murdered my baby. This new younger blond woman and the 5 who are often with her, appear to be their relatives. The FBI believes they are part of a drug gang from Connecticut that call themselves "The Cyr Clan". According to the FBI the Cyr Clan was a gang that my uncle Bruce was involved with back in the 1960s in Boston before I was born. The FBI believes Bruce pissed them off in the early 2000s and that's what brought them up here to Maine.

The FBI believes they were after either one of Bruce's daughters or one of Bruce's sisters with both the November 2013 and April 2015 attacks.

One of Bruce's daughters also lives on Portland Ave in Old Orchard Beach and she also has a pink motor home. So there are TWO pink motor homes on the same street. This particular daughter of Bruce IS in fact a porn star. She's a pole dancer for a top less bar.

In 2016, there was another large scale attack, near duplicate to the April 10, 2015 attack. I never talk about it because it didn't happen to me. It happened to Bruce's daughter across the street from me. The attack on her family was bigger, bolder, and bloodier, than the attack on my family the previous year.

In 2017, a third similar attack happened in Biddeford to one of Bruce's sisters. Again I don't talk about it because it didn't happen to me.

Like I've said before there is A LOT MORE going on, then what you hear me talking about. I don't talk about what has happened to several of my cousins and their families both the Atwater cousins and the Murphey cousins- because it is not my place to do so. That's why you ONLY hear me talking about what directly happened to me personally and never mentioning the rest.

And I've not said everything that happened to me. A lot more has happened to me then you hear about because the FBI has specifically requested I don't talk about specific aspects of what happened to me and my children, because a lot was never released to the public, because they want to see who knows what. Certain things no one in the public should know about and knowing those things marks you as involved. This new young blonde woman KNOWS several of those things that were not released to the public and yells those things. Which means she is VERY INVOLVED with the murder of my children. 

Like I said until summer and fall of 2021 when started walking again for the first time in 9 years, I was unaware of the local gossip that was falsely accusing me of being gay, falsely accusing me of being transgender, falsely accusing me of being transvestite, falsely accusing me of being a porn star, falsely accusing me of being an Erotica author, or falsely accusing me of being an alien abduttee. 

I have lived here since 1975. You people know me. You people knew my murdered children. You people know I'm a cis female. You people know I'm not gay. I have published 138 novels and more then 2,000 short stories since 1978, and I  have sold 27k copies of every one of them to you people who come to my house and buy them in person, so you've read my books and know they are not Erotica. You people know I've been a devoted orthodox LDS Mormon my whole life, and that I've been with Ben for 37 years, so you know I'm not a porn star. 

What is wrong with you people? My family was murdered and I have spent 9 years recovering from medical hell, and I go outside for the first time in 9 years and find you people who know me have all devolved into gay hating, sex spewing, gibberish slandering gossips spreading vile, evil, malicious rumors and lies that you yourselves know to be untrue?

No wonder not a single one of you have helped my family through any of this. No wonder not a one of you ever once visited me at the hospital or my home after I got out of the hospital and couldn't go outside because I couldn't walk. 

You don't see me for 9 years because I'm bedridden and you're all to cold hearted to stop by and check in on me, and you spend that 9 years spinning wild, crazy transphobic, gay hating, sex filled lies about me?

What is wrong with you people?

You all let some stranger, who very likely IS the murderer, convince you of crazy ass slandering lies, that you people know to be untrue. 

You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. 

Every resident of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine,  you all ought to be ashamed of what you have spent the last 9 years doing.

This new younger blonde woman, she's the one who keeps saying my car has a suicide demon in it and yelling about Todd, saying my car caused him to die.

I don't know who she is, but she's the same one who used to show up at 27 High st, also Biddeford and scream "nasty bitch" at me and acuse me of being an Erotica author and porn star. (Which she did during several Witcher 3 livestreams on Twitch, you can see her doing it if you go back and watch my VOD). I am neither an Erotica author or a Porn star, and she had throughout 2016 to 2019 arrived at High st with 5 others, one a blond man with a silver pick-up truck, one a black man with a yellow Mitsubishi with new York plates, one a very obese woman with blond Shirley Temple sausage curls, and the other two hooded men with a navy blue Buick sedan. If you remember the Christmas Eve 2016 livestream when the gang attacked my high st apartment and screaming "transvestite freak" that's them. This that same woman who also slanders me by calling me transvestite and transgender, which I am neither. I am a cis female, I've had 7 miscarriages, and the 1 baby that made it full term was murdered November 14, 2013 by 3 people with golf clubs, who are suspected to be, these same people. 

One day when I went downstairs to get the mail on high st, a mailbox that was in the lobby and you had to go through 2 sets of doors and foyers to get to, she had her hand in the mailbox and when I came out the door she yelled "I wasn't stealing your mail" threw our mail on the ground and ran off.

She knows the Martals, (Aunt Barbara ex, uncle Paul Martal,  the one in prison for building the Boston Marathon bomb in 2013, Mike's father, those Martals) she was staying with them for a few months in 2016. Is somehow connected to Barbara (the one who wrote all those emails in 1997 pretending to be me, when I did not yet have email or internet or a computer at the time, and I had not yet heard of email and didn't even know what email was, back when Barbara wrote all those alien abduction emails about Etiole and pretending I wrote them.)

She has short straight blond hair and sometimes dyes it dark red or purple. I know she follows both me and my mom and most of the Atwaters and my 3 younger brothers (though not my 2 older brothers as the oldest is in prison and the 2nd oldest is dead) on Facebook because she keeps saying that "I read on Facebook…" when she's in my driveway.

She shows up at Walmart to yell at me sometimes, and sometimes shows up while I'm walking Mickey. She talks about Etiole and White Monkey a lot when yelling, which is strange because that's stuff Brucie and Daddy used to write in their letters to Bishop Morgan back in Cape Elizabeth in 1990s. 

I'm not the one who calls him Etiole that's always been Bruce and Barbara who did that. I know his real name and use his real name.. They don't know his real name. And my father is only one who uses the term White Monkey. The white monkey was Helen Pearlys pet back in 1970s, it had nothing to do with Etoile, I don't know why he keeps saying it does.. My father is the only one who ever makes that connection. I've never called Etiole a demon or alien, again that has always been my father, Barbara and Brucie who said the alien and demon stuff. I don't believe in aliens or demons, but they do. (Etiole if you don't know is a local elderly homeless man who has backpacked around New England since 1953, and since 1978 I let him camp on my farm in Old Orchard Beach when he's in the area. He's covered with scars from WW2 and they call him an alien and demon because of his scars. They refuse to believe he is a human, which just goes to show how absolutely stupid they are.)

In November an elderly man came over and started asking me why I was emailing him about Etiole and I'm not, I don't use email. He said he was getting over 300 emails a day about Etiole all claiming to be from me. He said there are hundreds of email addresses getting copies of this email. You remember when Barbara and Brucie used to send emails back in 1997 claiming they were from me but we didn't have computer or internet back then? I think it might be Barbara sending those emails again like she did back then. I can't think of who else could be doing it.

This sometimes blond, sometimes red hair, sometimes purple hair woman, also mentions these emails when she is in my driveway yelling at my Volvo at 409 Main street. 

FBI agent Andy Drewer has found and shut down, so far 27 Facebook accounts, all pretending to be me. He said all of them were owed by Brucie. These fake "Eelkat" accounts appear to be the source of a lot of what this blond woman says and is suspected that she may be one of the people behind writing them.

Keep in mind, Brucie is dead. He may have started those Facebook accounts, but he ain't the one writing them. He died 3years ago.

Mervin Bruce Atwater died from Covid19 on November 24, 2019.

The fact remains you ARE impeding an FBI investigation into the murder of my family, and only someone involved would have any reason to do that. ONLY someone connected to the murderer would have a motive to try to stop the FBIs investigation. That makes you an accessory to murder. You make yourself look VERY GUILTY of being involved every time you spread slanders about me, my car, or Etiole. 

Do consider that the source of your slander in all likelihood is the murderer, please tell FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 at the Portland FBI office on Middle street, the name of the person who is telling you to slander me.

And now tomorrow is Easter. 

A day when mothers take their children on Easter egg hunts.

My children are dead.

My children were murdered. 

And you people have spent the last 9 years making fun of that.

Think about THAT tomorrow when you are out on Easter egg hunts with your babies.

Think about how YOU would feel if it was YOU. How would YOU feel if it had been your baby who was murdered and this entire town was spreading bullying slanderous lies about YOU.

If you know who this blond woman is, please tell FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 at the Portland FBI office on Middle street. She is wanted for questioning about her connection to the November 14, 2013 murder of my baby and attempted murder of me, and the April 10, 2015 murder of my foster children and the September 26, 2016 hit and run attack on my car and the February 2019 vandalism to 27 High st apartment building, and the November 2021 attack on my Volvo and the March 10, 2022 attack on my Volvo and the April 10, 2022 ATM attack on my parents. 



Update April 11, 2022: Do you know who this woman is?

This woman that my mother is talking about, have any of you ever seen her? Does anyone know who she is?

It isn't that woman who keeps coming on the porch and yelling at my car is it? Do any of you know who the woman attacking my car is?

The location is 409 Main Street, the big white farmhouse Victorian on the 3way corner of Harvey Lane and Cutts street, right at the train tracks. It has 2 driveways one on Main Street and one on Harvey. There are multiple porches. It's the porch on the Main street side, that goes up the driveway alongside the abortive cedar tree hedge, where I park my painted Volvo. That porch is the one this woman shows up on. 

It's an elderly couple and mother in law who live there at that porch.  When they leave for work, this woman shows up when they are not home and stands on the porch bellowing like a fog horn screaming death threats at me, yelling crazy demon and alien slander about Etiole, making the claim of putting a bomb in the tail pipe of my car, screaming about suicide demons and evil eye curses, and yelling about someone named Todd Murphy (I don't know who that is, I get the impression he's a relative or boyfriend or ex of hers or something, but I don't any one by that name, so I don't know who he is. I don't know who she is either.) She looks to be maybe 30s to 40s aged. 

She was here again yesterday. She was bragging that she got a fight started with my mother and the Atwaters on Facebook, laughing about how easy it is to get my mother and her ex fighting and the old woman was giving her hell and telling her to get off the Atwaters Facebook and leave them alone. 

This happened less then an hour after my mother made the claim that a woman of the same short haired blond description, assaulted her and my father at an ATM machine, the blond woman claiming to my mother to be my father's girlfriend, my father claiming he never saw her before. 

All this happened on April 10, 2022, the 7 year anniversary of the murder of my foster children, and the blond woman who was here in my driveway after the ATM attack was bragging the anniversary is why she is instigating the fighting between my parents. 

I did not see the ATM attack, so, I do not know what happened other then what my mother and father are saying. 

I did however see her here in my driveway.

She's the one who keeps saying my car has a suicide demon in it and yelling about Todd, saying my car caused him to die.

I don't know who she is, but she's the same one who used to show up at 27 High st, also Biddeford and scream "nasty bitch" at me and accuses me of being an Erotica author and porn star. (Which she did during several Witcher 3 livestreams on Twitch, you can see her doing it if you go back and watch my VOD). I am neither an Erotica author or a Porn star, and she had throughout 2016 to 2019 arrived at High st with 5 others, one a blond man with a silver pick-up truck, one a black man with a yellow Mitsubishi with new York plates, one a very obese woman with blond Shirley Temple sausage curls, and the other two hooded men with a navy blue Buick sedan. If you remember the Christmas Eve 2016 livestream when the gang attacked my high st apartment and screaming "transvestite freak" that's them. This that same woman who also slanders me by calling me transvestite and transgender, which I am neither. I am a cis female, I've had 7 miscarriages, and the 1 baby that made it full term was murdered November 14, 2013 by 3 people with golf clubs, who are suspected to be, these same people. 

One day when I went downstairs to get the mail on high st, a mailbox that was in the lobby and you had to go through 2 sets of doors and foyers to get to, she had her hand in the mailbox and when I came out the door she yelled "I wasn't stealing your mail" threw our mail on the ground and ran off.

She knows the Martals, (Barbara ex, uncle Paul Martal,  the one in prison for building the Boston Marathon bomb in 2013, Mike's father, those Martals) she was staying with them for a few months in 2016. Is somehow connected to Barbara (the one who wrote all those emails in 1997 pretending to be me, when I did not yet have email or internet or a computer at the time, and I had not yet heard of email and didn't even know what email was, back when Barbara wrote all those alien abduction emails about Etiole and pretending I wrote them.)

She has short straight blond hair and sometimes dyes it dark red or purple. I know she follows both me and my mom and most of the Atwaters and my 3 younger brothers (though not my 2 older brothers as the oldest is in prison and the 2nd oldest is dead) on Facebook because she keeps saying that "I read on Facebook…" when she's in my driveway.

She shows up at Walmart to yell at me sometimes, and sometimes shows up while I'm walking Mickey. She talks about Etiole and White Monkey a lot when yelling, which is strange because that's stuff Brucie and Daddy used to write in their letters to Bishop Morgan back in Cape Elizabeth in 1990s. 

I'm not the one who calls him Etiole that's always been Bruce and Barbara who did that. I know his real name and use his real name.. They don't know his real name. And my father is only one who uses the term White Monkey. The white monkey was Helen Pearlys pet back in 1970s, it had nothing to do with Etoile, I don't know why he keeps saying it does.. My father is the only one who ever makes that connection. I've never called Etiole a demon or alien, again that has always been my father, Barbara and Brucie who said the alien and demon stuff. I don't believe in aliens or demons, but they do.

(Etiole if you don't know is a local elderly homeless man who has backpacked around New England since 1953, and since 1978 I let him camp on my farm in Old Orchard Beach when he's in the area. He's covered with scars from WW2 and they call him an alien and demon because of his scars. They refuse to believe he is a human, which just goes to show how absolutely stupid they are.)

In November an elderly man came over and started asking me why I was emailing him about Etiole and I'm not, I don't use email. He said he was getting over 300 emails a day about Etiole all claiming to be from me. He said there are hundreds of email addresses getting copies of this email. You remember when Barbara and Brucie used to send emails back in 1997 claiming they were from me but we didn't have computer or internet back then? I think it might be Barbara sending those emails again like she did back then. I can't think of who else could be doing it.

This sometimes blond, sometimes red hair, sometimes purple hair woman, also mentions these emails when she is in my driveway yelling at my Volvo at 409 Main street. 

FBI agent Andy Drewer has found and shut down, so far 27 Facebook accounts, all pretending to be me. He said all of them were owed by Brucie. These fake "Eelkat" accounts appear to be the source of a lot of what this blond woman says and is suspected that she may be one of the people behind writing them.

Due to the incident yesterday it is now also believed that she is the mystery blond woman who pretends to be my father's girlfriend and harassed my mother for no reason other then to get a laugh on watching my mother fight with my father (something they do quite violently in public places, in stores, just everywhere.)

If you know who this blond woman is, please tell FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 at the Portland FBI office on Middle street. She is wanted for questioning about her connection to the November 14, 2013 murder of my baby and attempted murder of me, and the April 10, 2015 murder of my foster children and the September 26, 2016 hit and run attack on my car and the February 2019 vandalism to 27 High st apartment building, and the November 2021 attack on my Volvo and the March 10, 2022 attack on my Volvo and the April 10, 2022 ATM attack on my parents. 



Update: April 10, 2022, big violent attack, as police and FBI expected.

Today is the 7th anniversary of the murder of my family. Remember I said to watch who does what today?... My father just beat the hell out of my mother, tried to kill her. She is right now refusing to call the police. My mother claims she caught my father with a girlfriend he's had for several years now. But near as I can tell, all he did was stop to tell some random stranger how to use the ATM machine. Note, they got divorced in 1994, my mother left my father for another man, left the other man for another man after that, and left the next man for Wayne. She's been with 2 other men (possibly more) since Wayne. She has not been a part of my father's life for 30 years, but feels the need to control his life and harass him on extreme violent levels. If he does have a girlfriend, so what? She left him 30 years ago.

Wayne died during the cat court case, the 2nd one, when he sued my mother for stealing his cats and putting them in my motorhome. Wayne's father, 8 of his cats, and then Wayne himself each died a few weeks apart all from rat poison. Wayne's daughter sued my mother claiming my mother put rat poison in their food.

The fbi believes my mother did kill Wayne and his cats and believes that's why she put his cats in my motorhome. Fbi believes my mother was one who called police April 10, 2015, expecting them to arrest me, take the motorhome, and return the cats to her. She did not expect police to take cats. All the harassment and vandalism of my mom's cars is believed by fbi to be Wayne's daughter friends and relatives and family.

My family, my children were murdered in 2 attacks, one on November 14, 2013 and one on April 10, 2015, both attacks are believed by the FBI to have been attacks that were intended on my mother and the people hired mixed me and her up.

April 10, is my mother's father's birthday by the way, David Henry Atwater, it's WHY she does everything she does, all her wild crazy vandalisms to people on April 10 every year since the 1950s.


April 6, 2022 update, as the attacks on my family and property continue and now more people are in the hospital

Daddy has sepsis and they keeping him in hospital for a few days.

Sepsis is very bad.

That's what I had.

You can die a few hours after it sets in if not treated.

When I was in the hospital in 2014.

That's why I was in the hospital.

I had surgery for it in march 2015.

That was the surgery on my arm.

Sepsis was in a major artery in left arm to heart. 

Side effect from when I was in hospital November 2013 when I was in wheelchair and February 2014 when I was on crutches relearning how to walk. Doctors was focused on my hip and not my spine. They didn't find the source of infection until until the mri in June 2016. 

Sepsis is why I can't walk without cane and why my lungs are messed up and why I have tremors and can't use my hands good anymore. Sepsis infection was so back it damaged my nerves. I was scheduled for spinal column surgery September 2016, they sent me to a neurosurgeon who was supposed to be top brain surgeon in New England and he did more mri and then canceled surgery because damage to my vertebrae (from golf club attack November 2013, which is what caused all of this, including the Sepsis and is the attack that brought the fbi here they think Mark wife did it but college had no security cameras at the bug light parking lot, they investigating Mark family, Barbara family,  and Brucie family. Charges of murdering my baby and attempted murder of me) is so bad. Shattered vertebrae bone fragments are severed into my spinal column nerve bundle at the sacroiliac joint where the hip and pelvis connect to spine. Neurosurgeon said he can't operate because of how nerve damage is, said if he removed bone fragments I would be paralyzed from neck down. But that is also when the source of Sepsis infection was found to be in my spine and not my hip, and that is when it finally went away because they were able to target the correct place to fix the infection.

Mark’s wife is the #1 suspect the FBI is watching, because, according to the FBI, this mysterious Mark guy, whom I have never met, never heard of prior to this, have never talked to, and have never seen, so I have no clue who he or his wife are… according to the FBI, he is friends with my mother, but only via her FaceBook account, where she hired him to put in a septic system, then gave him MY address in Old Orchard, while making the claim that SHE owned both MY land and MY motorhome, and when he asked for a picture of her so he would know who she was, she gave him a picture of ME, not herself.

According to FBI agent Andy Drewer THIS is the reason why the backhoe was driven over my house August 8, 2013 and why the golf club attackers attacked me on November 14, 2013.

According to the FBI, my mother was trying to get my land so she could sell it to use the money for a down payment on a house in Kennebunk and she used this Mark guy as her pawn to do it, by fighting with him on social media using “fake EelKat” accounts to convince him that he was dealing with me, even though I had never heard of him before.

According to the FBI, my mother started sending his family death threats, in the same way she is currently sending Todd Murphey’s family death threats, and that this is why Mark’s wife attacked with the golf clubs, murdering my baby and crippling my spine. According to the FBI, Mark’s wife thought she was attacking my mother and was unaware that both my mother, her sister Barbara, and her brother Bruce’s wife Doris were all impersonating me, using 27 different “fake EelKat” FaceBook accounts to scam Mark’s family about a septic system.

This was confirmed by the Old Orchard Beach police in October 2016, when Mark attacked my mother in person and was arrested by OOB police, that day. He made the claim, that she, my mother, was me, but the officers in question, Robin and Will, both know me and my mother and informed Mark that this was not me that he was fighting with, it was my mother, to which he said this was the woman he had been dealing with since June 2001 who had called herself EelKat in every correspondence. The police showed Mark pictures of me and he said he had never seen me before and had no clue who I was.

This event October 2016, is when both the police and FBI started expanding their investigation, now looking for people who were friends of my mother, her sister Barbara, and her brother Bruce, and that is when they found the identity of long time stalker and bomb builder Kendra Silvermander who turned out to be a FaceBook friend of all 3 of them.

After Mark’s gang found out October 2016 that I was NOT the person they had been fighting with online, but rather it had been my mother impersonating me, the attacks on my family stopped but the attacks on my mother’s family started February 2017 when a road grader drove 75 feet up her driveway and flattened her car. Since then this event was repeated with 3 more cars.

In August 2021, My mother and her sister began impersonating me on FaceBook and with emails, yet again, and as they had done in the past, used my friend Etiole to do it. Once again, calling him a demon and an alien and a cryptid, and once again pretending to be me, they wrote a lot of emails and started mass spam sending them to every Maine email address they could find, at a rate of sending them to several thousand people a day.

I found out about this in November 2021, after Etiole was shot, gunned down by 6 people at Rotary Park in Biddeford, Maine on November 21, 2021, by people who claimed to be from Scarborough, Maine and claimed to be the mother and in laws of some guy named Todd Murphey.

I still have no clue who Todd Murphey is, but apparently he used to work with my mother and commit suicide recently and my mother and her sister took advantage of his suicide to yet again pretend to be me, and this time, calling Etiole a suicide demon, started harassing this Todd guy’s ex wife, son, and mother on FaceBook and via emails while pretending to be me. Which caused these people to show up at my 409 Main Street/Harvey/Cutts street Biddeford apartment to vandalize my car and cut all the wires off the apartment building, not once, but twice: on Thanksgiving day 2021 and again on March 10, 2022, because these friends and family of this Todd guy are 100% convinced the nut they are dealing with on FaceBook is me, when in fact, the one they are dealing with is no me, but rather my mother yet again pretending to be me.

This is also what led to the December 2021 and January 2022 FBI raids in the Cutts Street are of Biddeford, just a few weeks ago, which led to the arrests of 8 people.

Back to sepsis…

On December 24, 2021, my mother arrived here at 409 Main street and stole my father’s 14 medications that he takes for his triple by pass, his kidney dialysis, his diabetes… and then, she took him in her car, drove to his doctor, and told his doctor, he’s not allowed to have medicine, because he has to do what she says.

He has not taken his medicine since December 24, 2021, it is today April 6, 2022, and he is struggling to stay alive.

All of this is because she is hell bent on a house in Kennebunk and doesn’t give a shit that she has caused my baby to be murdered November 14, 2013, my foster children to be murdered April 10, 2015, me to be going through a decade long medical nightmare after being crippled November 14, 2013, 5 of my cars to be destroyed including The real Cristine The World’s Most Haunted Car that Stephen King based his Cristine off of, my house -the one that was in the Thinner movie- to be driven over by a back hoe, and now my father dying in the hospital.

Death and destruction at every turn, and she doesn’t give a shit because, as she puts it: “What are we going to do about Wendy? She can’t keep that land, I need a house in Kennebunk!”

Her obsession with getting a house is utter ludicrous insanity, that needs to be stopped before anyone else dies at the hands of her fucking retarded FaceBook friends who blinding attack, vandalize, and beat up anyone and everyone on her command.

I am so fed up with her blind devotion to a fairy tale house she thinks she has to have, at the expense of the lives of everyone around her.



March 30, 2022, update on yet another attack on my family and land

Police take notice. 


Scam artists have been bringing real estate agents onto my property in attempt to illegally sell my land. They have no right or permission to be here. My land is NOT for sale. If you see them doing it, please arrest them.

These are the Scottish Travellers. They arrive here every summer, harassing my family for four decades now. They are the same ones who drove a backhoe over my house August 8, 2013. The same ones who crippled me and murdered my baby November 14, 2013 with golf clubs, leaveing me paralized with a broken spine ever since. I am cripled with a shattered spinal column since the golf club attack and am bedridden weeks to a time unable to sit up or get out of bed. I have rebuilt my house 5 times in the past 9 years, and their attempts to steal my land and sell it have been barbaric and violent, and icluded a bomb that blew up my house October 18, 2006, and most of my family is now dead, murdered at their hands. These are the same people who cut my 1964 Dodge 330 in half May 10, 2010. They arrived back here September 19, 2020 and illegally cut down most of the trees across my lawn, and arrived again November 19, 2021 and for the last 20 years they arrive every summer with a green dump truck and dump garbage on my lawn. In 2014 they left a pile of garbage 175 feet long, 30 feet wide and 12 feet tall and it cost me $12,000 to have it removed. I am crippled and elderly and there is no one to help me against their harassment.

There should NEVER be anyone other than me EelKat Wendy C Allen (with the painted Volvo) or my partner Benjamin Wildes (with the blue Honda) in my yard at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, where the ink motorhome is parked. If you see ANYONE ELSE or any other car in my yard, please call the police immediately. There is no one else who has permission to be on my land.

My land is NOT for sale, if you see real estate agents, please inform them they are being scammed and the people trying to sell my land are NOT the legal land owners.

The FBI are on the look out for them as are the local police. If you see them in my yard, please notify both the Old Orchard Beach Police Department at 207-934-4911 and FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 at the Portland FBI office on Middle street.





March 10, 2022 update on the most recent vandalism of my car

This is a copy of the letter that has been forwarded to the police departments involved. For this online edition some parts have been removed (so if you get to a place that seems like the topic changed abruptly, that is why) and the names are removed from the online version, but the version the police have, includes all the full names and contact info of all the people in question. And for those who have asked: yes, the police and FBI have talked to Etiole, they are fully aware of him, his health, his homelessness, etc.

Dear Sirs,

I feel I need to tell you what has been happening as it has gotten very much out of control the past few weeks. It's been slowly escalating for a few years and, if you look at my police record for both Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, you will see dozens of reports for vandalism of my 1992 Volvo 240 (the painted one) at now 3 apartments in Biddeford, and vandalism of my land in Old Orchard Beach. In the past 6 months, a hyper escalation started with has become very out of control the past couple of weeks.

Last night, my car was vandalized again.  

As these events are taking place in both Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, I'm giving this same letter to both departments, so events from both towns are listed.

I am Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine and 409 Main Street apartment 101 Biddeford, Maine.

There appears to be someone fairly local impersonating me online, and is raising hell with a lot of local people, inciting them to do very violent physical attacks on me, my Biddeford apartment, my Old Orchard land, and my car.

It's reached the point where I can not go to the store without having my car towed home, because it gets vandalized so bad while I'm n the store shopping. EVERY TIME I go to the store. I've been at a loss to understand why this is happening. I don't know who these people are or why they are attacking. On Thanksgiving day they cut all the wires off the Biddeford apartment building so we had no internet or heat or anything for a while. There is a "redhaired" woman who shows up on the front porch to cream at my car, every time the family who lives in that apartment goes to work. She stopped a few weeks ago, because the man who lives there fell on the ice, broke his shoulder and has not gone to work since. It appears she knows that family who lives there and does not want them knowing she does this while they are not home.

A few weeks ago an old man walked up to me, asked if I was EelKat and then asked me why I kept emailing him, and I said I don't email anyone cause I don't use email. He said some days he gets over 300 emails a day from someone claiming to be EelKat.

 

We are Gypsies, and though I've lived in America my whole life, I know very little of American habits and laws or what specifically to do in this situation. We are the Gypsies who were in Stephen King's Thinner movie and my 146 Portland Ave land was one of the filming locations of the movie and, the cars in the opening scenes were our cars, one of which I still have. I mention this, because, there are two Gypsy clans, The Atwaters (Scottish Travellers) and the Cyrs (Irish Travellers) fighting over my land and the fight centres largely around the fact that it was the filming location of Stephen King's the Thinner movie.

I own the land. From the 1940s it was owned by my grandmother Helen Ricker Allen. She left it to me in her will in 1983. Unknown to me, at some point after 1983, the Atwaters had the land illegally transferred into their names -they steal land this way as a full time career and many of them have illegally deed swapped land in all 50 states in America.

In 2014, I found out they are done an illegal deed swap, when an auction group showed up on my land to sell it. Upon discovery I had been living on the land since 1975 and paying taxes on it since 1983, but my name was not on the deed, the auctioneer (and member of the OOB town hall) cancelled the auction and ordered a town hall meeting to review the situation. Upon investigation it was discovered that when the land went from my grandmother to me, my father signed as "joint witness" and then a year later, went back to the town hall to have my name removed from the deed and his put on it, even though he had no legal write to do so. After that, the record shows that every 3 to 5 years, he and my mother swapped names on the deed, sometimes his name, sometimes her name. The land changed ownership names more then 30 times between 1983 and 2013. 

Because I have severe agoraphobia, I had not set foot off of my land since the 1970s. When it came time to pay the taxes, I gave my father the money and he delivered it to the town hall, or so I thought. In 2014, I learned that in spite of my paying my taxes like clockwork, since 2006, the town hall had no record of receiving any money. It is unclear where the money went. On one hand it looks like my father spent the money and never paid the taxes. On the other hand it looks like he sometimes did pay the taxes but instead of going to the tax office he gave the money to Kathy BR in the permits office and she gave the money to a guy called JB who went to prison for embezzling $3million in OOB tax money from the town hall. JB did not work for the town hall, he was a software designers who built the online banking security for the town hall to direct deposit money to the bank, and according to the FBI the money was going to his bank account not the town hall bank account, but he was only found with $30k not $3million. I don't know the full details, I only know this part, because when we tried to find out why my land was being auctioned this is the info we were given.

In any case, at some point my dad stole my land via just walking into the town hall and asking the desk clerk to remove my name from the deed and put his name on it instead. The whole thing was done illegally and without my knowledge or permission.

There were 3 lands originally. 144, 146, and 146a. My father stole all 3 of them. 144 was auctioned off to the Collard family in 2007, even though I was still living there until 2015 without any knowledge of the auction happening. No one informed me. I've since spoken with the Collards and they were unaware of the situation. They actually bought the land legally even though it was stolen land they had bought, they were unaware the land had been stolen. Everything has been straightened out between me and the Collards, they are not part of the current problem.

My mother owns 146a, but she owns it illegally. She claims it's rightfully hers because my father gave it to her, but, he stole it from me via illegally rewriting the deed, so he had no right to give it to her.

In 2014 and 2015, all the court and legal work was done to restore 146 back to me.

The current situation is my parents are in an active attempt to remove my name off the deed again, like they had done back in 1983.

On a daily basis my mother shows up and first words out of her mouth every day is: "What are we going to do about Wendy? She can't keep that land. I need a house in Kennebunk." to my father.  She started doing this in August, originally bragging that she was going to take my land out of retaliation for my refusal to cast death curses on Chris at work. I don't know who "Chris at work" is. It was one of the names on her list of people she wants me to kill via death spell curses. I was live streaming on Twitch the day she came in yelling about "Chris at work" and my need to kill him for her, so a lot of people online heard her saying these things. I'm a YouTube gamer, I have a livestream going almost daily for 12+ hours a day, so when she comes in, #1 it's breaking and entering because I didn't let her in, and #2 she is interrupting my live streams quite regular so I have hundreds of video footage clips of her saying these things and making these threats. The day she and my father cut the cable/internet wires off my apartment building - I have that on livestream footage as well. My father cut the wires off the house while my mother was ordering him to do it. In November 2021 and again 2 days ago March 9, 2022.

They both make the claim I don't need internet, because I am as they put it "being a bad daughter" because I "won't sell your land and give me the money for a down payment, I need a down payment, you are supposed to give me the down payment money for a house, I'm your mother!"'

As for what happened to my car March 9, 2022 - my father, my father vandalized my car and tried to make it look like my brother  did it. My father stuffed the tailpipe full of McDonald's ketchup packets that he stole from the Biddeford McDonald's where my brother works, which is what caused the fuel line to blow up. I could have died. My car is now being repaired again, for the exact same thing I had to have it repaired for in November 2021. My father tried to kill me and make it look like my brother who works at McDonald's did it so my brother would be blamed. Twice. Once in November 2021 and again 2 days ago.

My father did the same thing in November, because of some guy named Todd who I supposedly convinced to kill himself via may painting a "suicide demon" on my car. There is a picture of Etiole on my car, that is what they are calling "a suicide demon"

I don't know who Todd is, but I assume the Biddeford police know as they did spend a week scrapping the thousands of exploded parts of him off all the houses around Cutts st and South st, after he jumped in front of a train November 19, 2021 at 6:27PM. I was walking my dog and saw him, he was gibbering a lot of wild nonsense stuff like: "fibbery-gibbit-beebydi-booop-bop-boop-bop-booop-beeeeeeeep!" I amused he was either very drunk or very high on drugs or both and was attempting to make train sounds while he ran up and down the train tracks. I thought nothing of it, as he did this on a daily basis all summer long, he was a homeless man who lived in the ravine by the train tressal bridge over the river, the one the police kept chasing out of the black grain building turned storage units. There were 4 people on bicycles, driving circles around him bullying him, teasing him, taunting him daily around 3AM every morning. I saw them while I was walking my dog. It appeared to be his girlfriend and her friends based on the stuff she was yelling at him. Stuff like "You run off with that whore will you! WW I showed you! I killed your dog! Hahahahahaha! I killed your cat! Hahahahaha! And you ain't never gonna see your baby again! Hahahahaha!" I know every one says he commit suicide, but I think he was just running to get away from the harassers on the bikes and was too drunk to see the train. That's certainly what it looked like to me.

THAT was not a suicide, not what I saw happen. That was a man being bullied and chased down by four harassers riding bicycles up the tracks, driving him head on into a train on purpose to try to kill him so they could laugh about it. I wouldn't call THAT a suicide.

Anyways, I didn't know his name or that my mother was best friends with him. Though I had told her about the homeless man being bullied and her response was "Why should I care? It's just a homeless man!" She changed her tune quite a lot after he got hit by the train, and found out his name. The police contacted her or something, when they were trying to find his family. I guess she knew his family on FaceBook or something.

Since his death, me, my car, and my apartment have been attacked on a near daily basis from people who are making the claim that I am online spreading rumours and lies about Todd. I kept asking them who Todd was (because at that point I did not yet know they were talking about the homeless man hit by the train - though I saw him daily for about 4 months, ever since the police kicked him out of the storage until he'd been living in and he lived under the train bridge and in Rotary Park instead - he only ever spoke to me a few times - once to pet my dog and say "they took my dog" and saying "hi" as we passed on the sidewalk. So I never knew his name. He lived in a yellow pup-tent beside the tracks for a while, but one day it was laying out there cut to ribbons by a knife or scissors.)

Even though I only knew him from saying "hi" each night as we passed each other on the sidewalk and I never knew his name until after his death, more then a dozen people have arrived in my driveway (both the Biddeford and Old Orchard addresses) to accuse me and my friend Etiole and the words painted on my Volvo of being the cause of this Todd guy's train death.

They are focusing heavily on the words on my car, which say: "Have information about the murder of my family? Call FBI @ 207-774-9322"

There is a sign in my Old Orchard driveway which says: "Have information about the murder of my children? Call FBI @ 207-774-9322"

On November 14, 2013, at Southern Maine Community College, while I was 8 months pregnant, I was attacked by 3 people with golf clubs. A man and 2 women.

There is no reason for anyone who is NOT involved in the murder of my baby, to be upset about either the sign in my yard or the sign on my car, both of which are nothing more then the FBI phone number with the request for anyone who has information to call.

I don't understand why me asking for people to help find my baby's killer, is seen by my parents as such a huge threat. The only person who who feel threatened by that would be the person who hired the golf club people - Claire, Kendra, and the bald man - who have still not yet been found/caught/identified to this day 9 years later.

Both my mother and my father keep saying and I quote "take that shit off your car, you are only trying to start trouble!" and "get that sign out of your yard, you are only trying to stir stuff up". I'm trying to find the people who murdered my baby and left me crippled for the rest of my life. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not trying to cause trouble. How is me asking people to help identify the murderer, me trying to start trouble?

I was paralyzed for 5 months. I had to relearn to walk. I crippled the rest of my life, and my baby is dead. No one should have to live through this type of agony. And no one who commits crimes like this should be allowed to walk free. Would you stand back and do nothing, say nothing, while a criminal like that walked free? How is my asking people to come forward with any information they know, me trying to start trouble? You tell me that!

I'm not allowed to ask for help in finding the psychopath who murdered my baby and left me crippled for the rest of my life? What kind of logic is that?

Someone out there knows the names of these people. The older blond woman they called Claire, the younger blond woman with the Shirley Temple sausage curls, the red haired woman they call Kendra, the white haired man with the green pick up truck, the bald man with the 4door white pickup truck, the new redhaired women who screams on the front porch. These people, this group, they are the ones who were wielding golf clubs and murdered my baby. They are being allowed to get away wit murder and I'll spend the rest of my life demanding justice if I have to. You tell me, how is my asking if you know who they are, don't let them kill again, tell the FBI everything you know, by painting that request on my car and a sign in my yard, me looking to start trouble? My mother's priorities are fucked up. All she cares about is money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money! 

I'm the bed ridden, crippled by multiple attacks. The November 14, 2013 golf club attack, I was almost healed from, but the June 2016 shopping cart attack at my workplace at Scarborough WalMart re opened the 2013 injury and doctors can't operate this time because of the bone shards severing my spinal column. I'm crippled for the rest of my life and no one in this family ever cared. 

Both attacks the FBI wanted to talk to my parents and they refused to talk to him both times. My baby was murdered in the first attack. I was 8 months pregnant and all any of them would do was gibberish about "rosemary baby" and say there was no baby because it was a demon because it was Etiole's. My parents and the Atwaters hate Etiole that much, that they shun the existence of my baby and act like it was never there. That's how much they hate me. That's how cruel and hate filled they are towards me. They spent the last 50 years calling me demon possessed and them saying that is WHY local people attack me and killed my baby and left me crippled for the rest of my life. 

I am in bed 15 or more hours a day, I can barely sit up, I can barely stand up long enough to cook, I have to wear adult diapers since 2013 because half my organs don't work any more because the nerves from those organs to my spine are cut off. My hands shake so bad that it takes me hours to eat a single meal. I can't go back to college, I can't go back to work. But do they care? No. Not my mother. Not my father. Neither of them give a shit. They are both too damned selfish thinking about their own greed to ever once lift a finger to help me. Daddy treats me like a fucking slave and my mother is so far out of my life shunning me because bishop kenning in Saco ward told her too that she hasn't got a clue how bad things are.

I'm not doing a damned thing to any of them. I mind my own business. I write my novels. I don't contact them. I don't talk to them. I don't talk about them.  Someone is clearly pretending to be me online and is slandering me and getting sick of it. My mother flips out about everything thing under the sun and I never have a clue what she's talking about, because I never did or said any of the things she accuses me of. And my father and the Atwaters do the same thing. Some one is out there pretending to be me to get them worked into a frenzy just to sit back and laugh while watching my mother, my father, and the Atwaters be too damned stupid to think. My mother and my father and the Atwaters are all filled with so much pure hatred for me that it takes nothing to convince them to attack me. And whoever it is posting online pretending to be me, knows that and is taking advantage of it. 

They are obsessed with my land, because my mother's father used to tell people there was $7million in gold buried on my land. Several times over the years the Atwaters have invaded bringing with them shovels, pickaxes, and construction equipment, to illegally dig up my land. They've ripped up flowers, dug up bushes, cut down trees... usually they do it while I'm gone to the store, so I come back to find my property ripped to shreds. They've been doing this on an almost yearly basis since Grammy Helen died in 1983. According to what David Henry Atwater claimed, pirates buried treasure on my land in the 1500s. There is ZERO evidence that pirates ever buried anything on my land. Later he changed the story and said that the gold plates of the Book of Mormon Part 2 were buried on my land, this time he claimed an angel from god told him. So the Atwaters have multiple excuses for why they arrive to dig everything up, but it's always that they are gold crazy and have gold fever and are convinced if they dig long enough they'll find gold on my land.

The other obsession they have with my land is a homeless man they call "Etiole". They sometimes claim he is a demon, they other times claim he is an alien, for a few years they called him a cryptid, they often say he's the Mememegwasi spirit of the Saco River Curse, a few of them say he's a watcher/fallen angel, some say he's a ghost of an Indian chief, some say he's the ghost of a French solider, some have called him a Faerie/Leprechaun/FarDarrig ... and a whole slew of other claims. Regardless of what they call him, they all adimintly refuse to believe that he is just an ordinary human, an elderly homeless man who keeps to himself and desperately wants them to leave him alone. That's all he is. He's just a homeless man who lives in the woods and wants them to leave him alone.

The Atwaters are obsessed with Etiole on severe levels and have gone to alarming levels of monstrous harassment of him through the past 50 years. Part of their obsession with him, is caused by their previously mentioned gold fever. You see, Etiole travels all over Maine, I never know where he is at any given time, but when he's in the local area, I let him camp out on my land. I've let him stay with me like this for over 40 years. In the 1980s, one of the times they arrived to dig up my land, Etiole was sleeping in my 1964 Dodge 330, and according to them, he jumped out of the car and "threw blue lighten bolts" at them causing a tornado to destroy their construction equipment. They claimed he turned into a black serpent with red eyes and 6 blue wings that was hundreds of feet long, surrounded them and killed several of them by summoning lightning bolts. . . . uhm . . . yeah. I wasn't home so I didn't see this event, of Etiole supposedly attacking them. But it's pretty clear they had some sort of massive LSD hallucination, given many of them heavily used LSD back in the 1970s and 1980s when this event happened. According to Etiole, he just jumped out of the car and ran into the swamp to hide, he didn't see any of the stuff they described.

After that they got it into their heads that I had summoned a demon (and that Etiole was said demon) to protect my secret cache of pirate gold, and their battle cry of "kill the demon" is what caused them to blow up my house with a bomb October 18, 2006, drive over my house with a backhoe August 8, 2013, beat me up with golf clubs and murder my baby November 14, 2013, cut my 1964 Dodge 330 in half May 10, 2010. All those things you have all those police reports about.

They are convinced Etiole is in my yard to keep them from my gold. The only problem is, there is no gold on my land. Etiole is not a demon, and their extreme levels of harassment are utterly insane! 

But then, when they get caught on my camera, because I'm a daily vlogger, so the camera is running all the time, them they accuse me of harassing them, because their faces showed up on my livestream. Uhm... I'm on y own land, in my own bedroom, usually a few hours into my daily livestream when they get caught in the background trespassing. That's NOT me harassing them. That's them trespassing and vandalizing, and breaking and entering while not realizing I was home and them getting caught in the act of vandalizing and trespassing.

Then they run to FaceBook and make all kinds of wild claims about me stalking them. I'm crippled. I can't even get out of bed. Every time I have them on camera, it's because they were trespassing and breaking and entering. I'm in my bedroom livestream a game on my computer and they'll be smashing out windows and get mad that it happened to be the window in line with my livestream webcam on my computer. That's NOT be stalking them. That's me laying in bed playing Witcher 3 and them breaking in.

I'm too damned sick and crippled to even attempt to do half the crazy shit my mother and my father are accusing me of. And what's worse, my father is right here in the same apartment with me. He sees me every day, he knows how bad off my health is. 

Look how much I'm bleeding all over the house every day. Massive nose bleeds that last for hours to a time, not bleeding from my nose. Just coming out of my nose. I'm so dizzy I can't sit up for weeks to a time. I faint and blackout when I try to get up to go to the bathroom. The pain in my hip and pelvis and knee and spine is so bad I can't even move my fingers to type my novels. 

And look at what they do. Do they really think I'm physically capable of doing the things they accuse me of? They are so damned self centred and paranoid. It's all I can do just to sit up and eat something, how the hell do they think I can do the stuff they accuse me of? My day is spent focusing on trying to get my leg to move so I can make a meal, I don't even have time to think about them. 

It looks more and like my mother and my father are doing this stuff on purpose to try to kill me. My father knows how bad off my heart and lungs are and how difficult it is for me to breath after just a couple of steps. His mother left that land to me in her will in 1983. He stole it, had it put into his name illegally. He's been pissed ever since her death, because she gave everything to me not him. That's been a big problem for him for the last 40 years. He raves about it alongside his ravings about going to Utah taking him off the fire department. He hates my mother because of Utah, blames her every day for losing his fire department pension. He raves about it all night long every single night. He blames me for his mother disinheriting him. He raves about that all the time too. I was only grandchild That's why she left everything to me. Including the land that he stole and put in his name. That land is rightfully mine, his mother gave it to me, and he can't stand it. He's needling my mother about the land just to spite his mother.

He's only trying to get the land away from me because he is mad that the town didn't take it. His mother wanted it to stay in the family. It had been in her family since 1530. Her family was the original settlement family of Old Orchard and my land is that spot that the first house in Old Orchard was built.  My father stopped paying taxes to spite his mother and lose the land. He said so many times. He was angry when I bought the land back from the town. He still is. He wants it out of the family because his mother wanted it in the family. That's why he's trying to turn my mother against me over the land. Because he gates his own mother that much.

Keep in mind the 4 door white truck showed up at my workplace daily. Even though I never knew ahead of time what store I would be working at. I was a retail merchandiser and stocked shelves at dozens of stores all over the state. Walmart's every where, CVS, khols, sometimes local, sometimes as far as Freeport and once in Vermont and once in Massachusetts.  I got the notice of which store to be at 15 minutes before I left. So the only person who ever knew where I was going was my father. 

And yet the 4 door white truck would also arrive ahead of me and be waiting. They didn't follow me, they got their first.

And the police caught the truck and the driver in 2017. Kathy BR owned the truck. Her son was the driver.

The smith's are my parents friends. My mother's visiting and home teachers for years.

Kathy was the district emergency dispatch for all the towns in the area, not just old Orchard. That's why none of the 911 calls went through during the attacks by the 4 door white truck. He only attacked while she was on duty. She never forwarded any of the calls so officers never were told to come help me.

That includes the November 14, 2013 golf club attack in South Portland. But the college security officer made a report even though the police never arrived. That big black officer who was head of security was on duty and him and 2 student officers from the police academy made the report.

And FBI found the data from the calls, that never got forwarded to police, that's why Kathy BR lost her job. Because she's the one who tampered with the 911 call files.

Tim and Kathy BR both, not together, individually, arriving separately, both arrived at my tent multiple times throughout the entire year of 2013, saying they were coming to speak to me on behalf of someone who wanted to remain anonymous. So I never knew who sent them. Each time they arrived all they would say was that I had to tear down "the little yellow house" as they called the shop. 

August 8, 2013 the backhoe drove over the shop while I was at work on the food truck down by the pier.

I never saw Tim or Kathy again after that. Not once. And these were people who stopped by to visit my parents daily for over 40 years. Since August 8, 2013 and the backhoe attack on my house, Kathy and Tim have gone to alarming extreme levels to avoid running into me. They just down the street, on one of the private drives, so it's difficult to avoid running into me, and we used to see them a few times a week at local grocery stores. They both, if they see me in a store, literally throw whatever they are carrying across the store and run out of the store like they have a pack of rabid wolves on their heels. It's pretty fascinating thing to see.

My cousin and next door neighbour Tim Murphy was murdered that same week, a few days before the backhoe. His body was left at the cascade Ross road crossroad. 14 days later his head was left at the Portland Ave Ross road crossroad road. His mother put up the big white cross a month later. 

Note that there were THREE 4-door white trucks, a smaller one, a larger one, and a mega-sized giant one -like a Dodge Power Wagon type only it was not a Dodge Power Wagon it was one of the look alike brands, possibly a Nissan. The owner and driver of the big-big-super sized one is still unidentified. The other 2 were both caught in 2017, Kathy BR's truck being the larger of the 2. The 3 trucks often showed up together and drive circles around me, on Rout 1/Portland Rd, while I was driving. They would slam my car from back and sides and push me off the road. Several times they did damage to the frame of my car with had to be repaired multiple times. They've done several tens of thousands in damages to my Volvo over the years. You already have a lot of the smashed up car photos on file, at both Biddeford and Old Orchard police departments, you each have more then a dozen reports for attacks on my car -though the FBI has said someone attempted to destroy several of the records with my name, at the Old Orchard police department. FBI said they arrested the officers who did that. I don't know which files were damaged or how. 

For several years/decades now, I have had multiple people trying to buy my land. The same people over and over again. Only buying my land is not what they are asking for. Rather, they claim my land is cursed and I have to sell it to break the curse. Crazy, I know, but that's what they say. The crazier part is they say that after I sell my land I have to hand the money over to them so they can use it as a down payment on a house they want to buy in Kennebunk. The people in question are my parents and they've been doing this for well over 20 years now. I've always said "no, I'm not selling my land" and left it at that.

My mother (she changes her last name often, I'm not sure which she currently uses) and my father my father both have become extreme hostile and violent the past 2 weeks, and I'm not sure what set them off, but they are hyper infuriated on my refusal to sell my land and give them the money for a down payment of a house in Kennebunk. 

I did not suspect them, all these years, because always been other people showing up and say they were contacting me on behalf of someone who wanted to remain anonymous, but now they are directly doing it themselves.

Starting in June 2001, lots of harassment started and at first, I did not suspect them, or think there was a connection. But now they are outright bragging to my face, that they are the ones behind the vandalism. Like I said, check the police records for 144, 146, 148 Portland Ave from June 2001 til current date. There have been dozens of attacks, including drive by shootings, the bombing of my house, the backhoe driving over my next house, me being beat up with golf clubs which is why I am crippled now for the rest of my life and how my baby died.

The FBI is involved. If you need more information beyond what I've written here,  FBI Agent Andy Drewer can be reached at 207-774-9322 he is at the Portland Office on Middle Street, he is in charge of the investigation, of several events, namely the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, which my uncle Paul Martel went to prison for building the bomb and selling it to ISIS. The 2006 bombing of the house at 144 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine. My baby was murdered November 14, 2013, a backhoe drove over my house at 146 Portland August 8, 2013 that's why I'm at the Biddeford apartment right now, because we can't get Kathy BR at the town hall to get a building permit, even though she's not the one in charge of that, she takes over our application and won't let it be approved, because she claims I shouldn't be allowed to live in Old Orchard, due to my having left the Mormon church to become a Voodoo Priestess, she says that makes me a witch and I'm not allowed to apply for a house building permit on those grounds, so, it's been 9 years and I'm still without a house on my land in Old Orchard and still stuck in a Biddeford apartment.

It is a long list of a lot of things happening. I'll try to organize it all in order:

At it's start, the whole thing goes back to a homeless man who wishes to remain anonymous, so I'm not using his real name here, nor have I ever used his real name anywhere online or offline or with any conversation with any one.

He, didn't do anything wrong. Quite the contrary, all he's ever done is live in the Ross Forest and surrounding swamps and marshes along the Saco River in Pine Point, OOB, Saco, Biddeford, and probably other areas, he moves around a lot rotating where he sets up camp, something he's done since 1953. I know quite a few people have seen him and talked to him, I don't know if any police officers have ever encountered him or not. Because he is elderly and in frail health, I often let him stay on my land. He's the ONLY person who has permission to be there. Herein lays the problem: he's deformed from acid burn scars covering most of his body. Churches around the area have spent decades accusing him of being a cryptid, alien, demon, watcher, fallen angel, you name it, someone has called him some weird conspiracy. According to him, himself, he was a Jewish WW2 concentration camp survivor, who arrived in OOB with a bunch of other refugees in 1953. Because he's so deformed by his scars, he was bullied by the locals who refused to believe him a human, and that's why he fled into the forest and never set foot in society again. The problem is, the people harassing me have made up this wild conspiracy that he's a demon and I'm protecting him, and they claim they need to get me off my land in order to get to him.

This all started in 1978.

My parents (my father and my mother), uncles (12), aunts (12+), and cousins (64 at the 1970s/1980s time - more then 400 today), teased and bullied me throughout my childhood about him, but they teased and bullied everyone about everything, so I didn't think that much of their bullying back in the 1970s and 1980s when it first started happening. It was just them being the toxic bullies that they are to everyone.

It wasn't until the 1990s and 2000s that it started to become a problem. And 207 is when I first realized how big of a problem it really was.

In 1996 and 1997 Aunt aunt B sent out lots of emails to the family claiming the emails had been written by me. I did not have email, internet, or even a computer yet. She got Dickie (Richard Merlin Atwater) and David (Atwater) and Joey (Atwater -the one who lives in Australia and is wanted by the FBI for kidnapping and selling babies back in the 1980s- FBI can't arrest him until he leaves Australia -I'm not sure why- so he became a citizen. I don't know the details of what he's wanted for.) in raving warpath over it. All three of them showed up in OOB -even Joey from Australia-though I didn't know he was wanted by the FBI back than. But they arrived here in OOB to yell at me in person, because aunt B made the claim that the emails were from me, so they were all mad at me for having written them, but I never did know the contents of the emails because I didn't write them.

I did not see the emails. I didn't have access to a computer back then ad I didn't have internet until 2007 a full 11 years later. Dickie had several of them printed out and waving them around, but I never got a chance to read what they said. One of the emails was 64 pages long, and according to Dickie was all about aliens. I know nothing about aliens, so most of what he said was just gibberish nonsense to me. This was in 1996, shortly before Heaven's Gate killed 39 people in California and at the time, all 3 of those uncles, plus a few other uncles were members of Heaven's Gate, and one uncle -Mervin Bruce Atwater-made the claim to be "the leader of the Maine division of Heaven's Gate"- I don't know if he actually was a Heaven's Gate leader or not, but he maintained that he was right up until 2019, and in April 2019 he was making the claim to be following Comet Wormwood because HaleBop was the wrong one. Like I said, they were coming up with some pretty wild alien and UFO claims and I'm not sure how much of what they claimed was true.

Well, this was the first time I heard the word "Etiole" which was the nickname they had given to the homeless man who sometimes camped out on my yard. Etiole is not his name, it's always been just the word the Atwaters call him (they say it means man from the stars or alien and that it's a French word. I don't know French, aunt B is the one who knows French, so I never would have given him a French name.) Somewhere in the emails, aunt B had called the homeless man "Etiole" and "amphibious alien" and made the claim that he was an "alien grey" who had abducted me to some mother-ship.  

I have never been abducted by aliens and never made such a claim. I never heard such foolishness. But, that this point, I wasn't fully aware of what they were talking about, so I didn't yet realize they were saying that I was making the claim to have been abducted by aliens.

That's the summer they all showed up talking about Etiole and amphibious aliens and alien abduction. aunt B was the one who started all of that stuff about Etiole, who I never called Etiole. But that was how it got started...all this stuff that is happening now with the vandalism and threats going on this week March 2022.

Bruce and Dickie went to a bunch on MUFON forums from 1996 to 2007 spreading lies about me and Etiole calling him a demon and alien and claiming I was an alien abducted. I found out about what they were doing in 2007 after they'd already been doing it for 11 years. 

I don't think aunt B has ever stopped sending out emails about Etiole while pretended to be me, I think she is still doing it. I think this, because in December 2021, I was at the Biddeford library when an elderly man came over to me, asked if I was EelKat and asked me why I was sending him hundreds of emails about Etiole, and who was Etiole? I told the man I don't use email, I've never emailed anyone, I don't know what he's talking about. He says he gets over 300 emails a day about Etiole from someone claiming to be EelKat. But here's the thing: EelKat is not something I call myself. I'll explain that in a bit.

First, let's go back to 1994. Before aunt B started sending the emails out, while claiming they were written by me. My father (my father) was the one who told the Atwaters about Etiole. My father and Dickie both called him "the white monkey". 

In 1994 and 1996 Bishop Paul Morgan asked me to his office and showed me a bunch of letters, all of them signed "The White Monkey, OST". He said the letters were written to sound like I had written them but he said he'd seen my handwriting before and knew I hadn't written these. The Bishop wanted to know if I recognized the handwriting. Some had been written by my father. Others had been written by Dickie. One was written by my mom's father David Henry Atwater who died several years ago now. This was the Mormon bishop in Cape Elizabeth. This bishop had more then one hundred letters laying on his desk, and he had several boxes more around his desk. He said he received no fewer then 5 letter every day for several months, and was quite concerned for my safety as he felt the letter writers may be "mentally unhinged" and "highly dangerous" based on what he called "several homicidal rants" contained in the letters. He said he was giving the letters to Paul Peterson, at Pine Land Centre Mental Health Institute in New Gloucester, because he felt my father and my uncle Dickie should be committed due to the contents of the letters.

The letters looked physically bizarre. Each one started like a normal letter, straight across sentences, line by line, but upon reaching the end of the page, the words spiralled around the outer edge and into a circle around the page, then upside down bottom to top between the first rows.

Each letter contained codes and cryptographers, and large portions of the letters were unreadable unless you cracked the "secret code" that was included with them.

Both my father and my uncle Dickie frequently wrote in that weird spiral and zigzag of lines fashion. My father's letters were the ones that included the cryptography and hidden codes. Dickies letters were just weird spiralling but no codes to solve.

I did not read any of the letters, but the Bishop was deeply upset by them, and stated that he used to be Catholic before becoming Mormon and said that if he was still Catholic he'd recommend my father had an excorsim down, because as the Bishop put it "the white monkey letters are the closet thing I've ever seen to demon possession".

Later that same year Paul Peterson from Pine Land Centre arrived at church and asked to talk to me. He had with him, some of the White Monkey letters and like the Bishop asked me to id the handwriting.

Stake President Earnshaw (of the same church) later called me in to his office for similar letters he had also received and again the white monkey letters were written by mostly daddy and some Dickie all pretending to be me, trying to make it look like I was pretending to be Etiole. 

In total 16 Bishops and 2 stake presidents had contacted me over the years about white monkey letters, all citing they were receiving them daily. Some said members were receiving them. When I stopped attending the Mormon church, my mother's minister's at the 15 churches she was attending at the time, all started getting the letters. (At the time my mom had a belief that she had to be in church as close to 24 hours a day as possible, so she was attending week day church services at every church that had them, even though she was not a member of most of those churches. She became an atheist last I had heard and attends no churches at all anymore as far as I know.) 

My father was in and out of the hospital a lot during this time period (1991 to 1996-ish), due to the violent fights between him and my mother which included him twice being hospitalized due to blood gushing head injuries from a brick, which also included OOB police arresting my mother for beating him said brick. The psychiatrist from Pine Land Centre felt that my dad suffered serious brain damage from one of the brick beating attacks, and wanted him to press charges against my mother, but he refused. The psychiatrist said he felt that my dad's White Monkey letters was a side effect of the multiple head injuries he was hospitalized for. 

The white monkey letters stopped in 2007 when the psychiatrist at Biddeford hospital diagnosed my father as having schizophrenia and put him on psychiatric medicine. The Biddeford police have this arrest on record. We were living at Water st at the time and my father had tried to kill me and my brother Joshua and also himself. The police arrested him. He was in the psych ward for around a week, and released because of the drastic change in his personality that was caused by the medication. He was only released on the condition that he maintained the meds.

Since 2007 no one has mentioned Etiole or the white monkey, until November 19, 2021, when things (the vandalism and harassment and threats) started escalating, the week Todd Murphy died when people started showing up in Biddeford driveway yelling about Etiole and calling him a suicide demon, claiming my Volvo was demon possessed, and accusing me of driving my car around town to drive people to suicide. I don't know who these people were. The one doing most of the yelling has very unique and very identifiable hair: it's a "high fashion" stick straight bob, like what you see in Italy Runways, super stiff as a board, stick straight, like she uses a few jars of jell to get it so straight. And a weird dark-purple tinted red. Very anime cartoon looking hair. You can't mistake it. She always wears big dark glasses, and usually has a little skinny blond man with her, who appears to be her husband or boyfriend. She frequently is beating him over the head with a baby car seat, while yelling at me and my car, while standing on the front porch of our building. They don't live here, I don't know who they re or where they come from. She did it almost every day of December, and most of the last week of November 2021.

This is the first time anyone has mentioned Etiole in years.

They call him Etiole sometimes, White Monkey other times. 

I should tell you where the term "white monkey" come from.

There was a white monkey, in OOB in the 1970s. It belonged to Helen Pearly of Pine Point and was part of her "White Animal Farm" zoo that she ran, which was a little petting zoo of all albino animals. I think it shut down in the early 1980s. Most older folks of the area remember Helen Pearly and her albino zoo animals - which included an elephant, and other such animals. Well, one day the white monkey escaped and Helen Pearly was a friend of my grandmother's (Helen Ricker Allen) and Helen Pearly showed up at 146 Portland Ave (than 862 because the road was renumbers in 1982) to tell my Grammy Helen the monkey had been seen nearby and to let her know if we saw it. Well, after that me and the other neighbour kids started going out into the swamps looking for the white monkey because Helen Pearly was offering a reward for it being returned. And one day we saw it, and tried to catch it and we followed it into the swamps and we found a homeless man out there. He was sick and starving to death. 

The white monkey belonged to Helen Pearly and has nothing to do with Etiole at all. In 1978 Helen Pearly had a pet white monkey that got lost. Me and Atwater cousin Micheal and my Murphy cousin Timmy (the one whose white cross is on the Ross rd he died in 2013) saw it in the woods out back and tried to catch it. We found Etiole the same day. Etiole is a homeless man who lives behind my land in the woods. Me and Micheal and Timmy took him food. And to this day, we still do, except Michael moved away and Timmy died in 2013 so that left just me taking care of Etiole today. Etiole is very old, probably 80s or 90s today. He's very small, not much bigger than a child, maybe around 5'1"-ish. He's covered with acid burns, scars, and tattoos. He has extreme PTSD and is terrified of the sight of people. He's very skittish, almost mute, speaks mostly with his hands, and run terrified from any people who try to get near him. The only reason he didn't run the day we found him, was because he was very sick, probably pneumonia or something like that. Had we children not found him and taken him food for the next several weeks, he probably would have died that same summer. He must have been in his 50s or 60s back then in 1978.

We told the adults about him, and they went to find him, but, they found some plants instead out there in the swamp, and my mom called the police, and the OOB police called the state police, and the state police called the FBI and the entire rest of the week was lots of police digging up lots of plants. Adam and the Babe, were 2 police officers who were left to stand watch over us children while every one else hauled out the plants. News reporters showed up and the news stations called it "Maine's largest drug raid". I don't know what drug plants look like so I don't know what kind of drugs they were. According the the FBI agents who talked to use kids (we were all 5 to 10 years old at the time) a "bad name named Bryan Cyr put those bad plants in the swamp". The FBI agents said they had been looking for Bryan Cyr and his Cyr Clan from Connecticut for several years and wanted to know had we seen him.  We had not, though we did see him about a year later when the big shoot out happened at 142 Portland Ave in front of the Dome house - the day the dome house blue up because Anne Cyr set fire to the meth lab inside- I saw her poured 3 gas cans on the house then throw several matches. Bryan fled in a robin egg blue micro-mini pick up truck, screaming that the meth lab was gonna blow. The whole house went up like a mushroom cloud. It's the only time I ever saw the Cyr Clan.) 

Adam and the Babe went with us kids to look for the sick homeless man/Etiole as he's now called by locals, but he was gone by then, because it had been 5 or 6 or more hours since the adults found the plants. The 2 police officers looked all over the forest for him, and stopped when they found a human leg bone in the Bachelder Brooke and took that with them and left to join the other officers. (144, 146, and 148 Portland Ave and the swamps and forest behind it is a massive Native American grave - there are at least 500 graves, that back in the 1970s all still had markers, most of the dates are 1400s to 1500, but in the mid 1980s someone stole most all of the slate grave markers, so they are unmarked today. I assume the leg bone was from one of those graves - human bones wash up out of the ground all the time on these sections of land because there are just so many Native American graves all over the place here, on my land and the lands abutting me. It's why the Powder Horn campground can't expand any closer to my land - they hit Native American graves last time they expanded the campground.)

So, because they got sidetracked by all the drug plants and all the police everywhere for the rest of the week, the adults never saw the homeless man or the white monkey as both had been scared off by the huge crowd of drug raid crews.

For some reason because we found him while looking for Helen Pearly white monkey my father and the Atwaters got it in their heads that Etiole was a demon alien shape shifter who turned into a white monkey to lure me and Micheal into the woods. And that's how their stupid ass alien and demon rumours got started.

I should point out, her family, The Atwaters, are the Scottish Traveller Gypsies, aka as The Scottish Mafia by several white Americans, her brothers Bruce and David and several of Davids adult children, grandchildren, and great grand children call themselves Scottish Mafia  and act every bit fitting on that title, which is both why the FBI is investigating and why I have nothing to do with them.

Right after the June attack on her car, a large group of Irish Travellers showed up from the Carilinas and Tennessee and were setting up squatting camps all around the area, The had set up a large camp on BB street behind my Main st/Cutts St apartment in Biddeford, setting up in the big chain link fenced yard on the corner (which is why the owners have since roped the land off.) I didn't think anything of it at first, because the Irish Travellers show up in Southern Maine every year for decades now, so there's nothing unusual about seeing them setting up camps on any space they can find, you see it every year. Usually they camp on the cow farms in Dayton/Buxton/North Saco area, so seeing them in Biddeford was a bit strange.

I point this out because the week they arrived on BB, my mother and her Atwater siblings and their families flipped out big time. They put heavy focus on "the brown house on the corner and the chain link fence yard across the street" and laid out to harassing the landlords of those two locations. They had a list of around 100 addresses in Biddeford, Cape Elizabeth, and many other places included Rhode Island and Connecticut. I saw the list because my mother showed up at my yard waving it around and demanding I help her and the Atwaters stage an attack on the Irish Travellers, whom she claimed was family of the man in the green truck with the 2x4 attack on her car.

A war between the Scottish Travellers/Scottish Mafia/The Atwaters and the Irish Travellers -which include The Cry Clan drug gang from Connecticut - the one the FBI is here looking for-, is the last thing I want to get involved in. Those same two clans are the ones who did the 4-5-8 shoot out back in the 1970s/1980s, when they blew up the dome house at 142 Portland Ave. They were armed to the teeth with truck loads and school bus loads of illegal military guns back in the 4-5-8 shoot out and I don't want to see what kind of weaponry that same group lugs around now 40 years later.

I am a Voodoo Priestess. Voodoo is also known as Folk Catholicism. It is a branch of the Catholic Church. Voodoo is a Christian religion, that focuses on reverence the ancestors. Hollywood Horror movies have slandered our religion to such an extent that the average person thinks Voodoo is dark magic, death spells, curses, and voodoo dolls. Those are all things that exist only in Hollywood and do not exist in real world Voodoo. The problem is made worse, when teens and young adults, not knowing the actual religion, call themselves Voodoo while practising things they see in movies.  While the older generations of Gypsies and Travellers know the difference, younger generation have fallen far from the old traditions, especially the old religion, and sadly, even among Gypsies and Travellers today, many in the age group of 60 years old and younger, only know Voodoo from Horror movies and not from their grandmother's actual practice.

I say this because my mother and her Atwaters wanted me to join then as a "figure head" for their cause. They specifically demanding I summon demons, make voodoo dolls, cast curses, and use magic to kill the list of people living at the addresses on the list they had. In short they attempted to hire me to be a quasi-hit-man for them.

When I explained to them that this is not what Voodoo is about, Voodoo is peaceful, non-violent, we shun weapons and hurtful acts of all types, they lashed out at Etiole -who was not here, it was just me they were yelling at, yelling about him. My mother called Etiole a demon, said he was my familiar, said "I know you work with demons, you can't lie to me" and "you cast death curses on people all the time you lying little bitch, you just won't do it for me because you want to spite your mother, after all I do for you!

I made a Twitch livestream video that same day, telling what was going on and what I feared was about to happen, because I have seen these same two Gypsy clans go to war with each other before.

Well, I have too much to deal with with my health. I'm bedridden 15+ hours a day, so I do nothing but play video games and write novels and edit novels, ALL of which I do on livestream - yes, I livestream for 12 to 15, sometimes 19 hours each and every single day, and I have 92TB of hard drive full of that video footage all the way back to 2015 - I have every minute of every day of my life not only live streamed on Twitch, but I have ALL the video footage files, which mean I have footage of all the attacks, all the yelling at my car, all the demanding I cast death spells, all the trying to hire me as a hit man - all of it. I have over 15k hours of video footage. And because most of the attacks happened during a livestream, there are also hundreds of witness online who saw and heard the attacks and threats already, seeing and hearing them as they were happening.

Going back to the suspecting someone is impersonating me... My mother makes the claim that it is her right to cut the wires off my Biddeford apartment building, because she claims I've put her name, address, and where she goes online. I've never put her address or name or where she goes on the internet. Don't know what she's talking about. I gave her the FBI contact info and told her that if she actually is seeing "me" posting this stuff she claims I'm posting online, then she needs to forward that stuff to the FBI because it's someone impersonating me, and that was one of the things the FBI has suspected was happening so they are actively looking for that kind of stuff. They are trying to get to the bottom of who it is spreading these wild, crazy ass rumours and lies, both doing it in my name and doing it about me.

They've already located a shut down a few dozen impersonation of me, social network accounts, and so far, to date, all of them have belonged to just one person: my mother's brother Mervin Bruce Atwater. Well, it makes sense that HE would know her home address and where she goes, seeing how, for the past decade they were kind of joined at the hip and did everything together. Yeah, of course he knows where she lives and what car she drives and where she goes. 

Also, I never went to school, she did not allow it, There were several legal/court battles between my mom and the OOB school and the state of Maine ad the department of education throughout the 1980s, over the fact that she was actively refusing to allow me to attend school. So I never learned to do math or numbers. I don't know how to count or do money or any stuff like that. And numbers don't register in my head for some reason. People will tell me a phone number or home address and 5 seconds later my mind is blank on the numbers. I can't remember them. That's why when something like an attack happens I write down the tie and date immediately and keep it on a chart - I have a list, day by day, all times and dates of every attack since June 2001. I wouldn't be able to remember what happened when if I didn't keep a list like that.

Well, my mother knows all of this, so she knows even if she had told me her address, which she didn't, I wouldn't have remembered it long enough to even write it down.

In June 2021, I found out she moved, because I was walking my dog -we walk 3 to 4 miles a day, all over Biddeford, Old Orchard, and Scarborough, because I am trying to rebuild my leg muscles after having been bedridden since 2013, with only minimal movement- Doctors said I would never walk again and I aim to prove them wrong and well I have, because I am at least walking enough to walk my dog each day, but it is very difficult, and every step I take feels like a sword stabbing up my right leg and into my spine, because of the nerve damage. It is why I walk so slow and limp so bad, because it hurts terrible to step down.

Well, one day I was walking my dog and all of a sudden, there's my mother, telling me that I'm standing in front of her house and I was surprised, because last I knew she lived several miles away. I had no clue she lived 2 streets over from me and that she had done so for 3 years!

I don't know how she expects me to even know where she goes considering I've had no contact with her in almost a decade now, not since the stunt she pulled April 10, 2015 when she broke into my motorhome, filled it with feces, and then locked her 13 cats in it to frame me for animal abuse. She did not expect the Old Orchard Beach police to arrive and confiscate her cats and then not give them back to her and she has been in a social media battle with several animal shelters, veterinarians, animal control officers, and police officers ever since. Most of her harassment of these people has been targeted at former OOB town hall worker DF  and OOB police officer WW , both of whom she has been harassing on FaceBook for the past 7 years. You can ask DF  and WW  and their family and friends on FaceBook, how bad it has gotten. In recent months she added a new person to her FaceBook harassment, I don't know their name, just that it's the ex-wife and 15 year old son of someone named Todd Murphy who recently died from being hit by a train in front of my Biddeford apartment on Nov 19, 2021. Sometimes she says his death was a suicide, other times she says he was murdered and thrown in front of the train. I don't know which it is, I didn't know him, and only have her word for any of it.

In her mind, the way the whole thing was supposed to happen was: you police were supposed to confiscate my motorhome and she would take her cats and go home. 

What actually happened was: you police confiscated her cats, and I kept my motorhome.

She has spent the last 7 years harassing every pet shelter and rescue in New England, trying to find the cats.

In answer to questions about the cats from April 2015—those were cats belonging to Wayne Whitten of Biddeford, Maine. I was never able to talk about it because of the court case going on between Wayne's family and the Atwaters.

To make matters even worse, the cats were not hers, either. Rather, they belonged to Wayne Whitten and his daughter. My mother had stolen the cats from Wayne, in an act of retaliation, after Wayne refused to hand over to her, his father, William's land.

If you do not know, there are several polygamists in my family, all on the Atwater side. My mother is one of them. Wayne Whitten is one of her many Husbands, and therefore Wayne Whitten is also my stepfather.

In May 2010, my mother took a chainsaw to my 1964 Dodge 330. But it was not the ONLY car she attacked that week. Two days earlier, she took a chainsaw to Wayne's black 1970s vintage Dodge. AFTER, she locked her Old English sheepdog in the trunk and left it there for 6 months, and then tried to say that Wayne killed her dog, when in fact, she had.

Many people in Biddeford, Maine knew Wayne Whitten and his father William Whitten, and both men were known for the wild tales of Wayne's 5th wife, Jeannie, who daily beat him, gathered her older brothers to beat him, and hospitalized him several times, multiple times nearly killing him. That wife is also my mother.

Unfortunately for Wayne Whitten, no one would believe him about how violent and psychotically deranged his wife was and in the space of only a few weeks, his father, then his cats, and then Wayne himself all died. Because of the violent nature of Wayne's death, details were withheld from the public.

Three cats—the white cat Old Lady, and the 2 tabby's Trouble and Sassy, were already dead before the police arrived, and all three were diagnosed as having been force-fed rat poison. This is why, even though my mother put 13 cats in my motorhome, the police only took 10 cats.

Wayne's father, William, owned the cape house next door to Ben's Flooring in Biddeford, behind Walmart. In his 90s, with his health failing, my mother arrived demanding William sell his house and give her the money for a down payment on a mansion in Kennebunk. The exact same demands she is now making at me, these 7 years later. She did this to William Whitten in 2015, and Wayne's daughter to this day maintains that my mother's threats, demands, and harassment were the major contributing factors of William's death.

My mother took the Whitten cats, intending to hold them hostage, until William sold his house and gave her the money. This was why she hid the cats in my motorhome. This is also why when the police showed up asking about the cats, I had no clue what they were talking about and let them search the motorhome telling them there were no cats in it. My mother broke into my motorhome and hid the cats in there, apparently 3 days earlier, and I was unaware she had done this so was unaware the cats were there.

This is also why, when police officer Will Watson asked how many cats there were and what their names were, why I did not know how many cats there were and only knew the names of a couple of the cats that I had heard Wayne talk about.

William Whitten died while the cat fiasco was going on.

Wayne, realizing what my mother had done to his cats, tried to get them back, but he died a few weeks later.

Wayne, his father, and his cats all died a few weeks apart from each other.

My mother went around triumphantly bragging that she had gotten Wayne's father's land, via being Wayne's wife, and set about to the process of buying the house in Kennebunk. And got slapped with a reality check when the two wills got read and both William and Wayne had left everything they had to Wayne's daughter.

In raging inferno, my mom lashed out at Wayne's daughter, and a lawsuit happened, with Wayne's daughter charging my mother with kidnapping the cats, and using rat poison to slowly poison Wayne. A massive Facebook war happened between the Whittens and the Atwaters as my mother got her Atwater thugs involved, and the Whitten's fled in terror once they realized the rumours that my mother was part of the Scottish Mafia, was in fact, very, very, very true.

To this day, the remains of Wayne Whitten's surviving family live in mortal terror, daily vandalism, and barbaric levels of harassment at the hands of my mother, and her brothers Bruce and David and David's sons and grandsons.

More details of what happened can be found here: Amphibious Aliens: https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html

And no, for the people who are confused, Amphibious Aliens has nothing to do with aliens. It is about a homeless man whom my mother and her brother Bruce, over hyper focused on, and together my mother and Bruce created an elaborate alien abduction and demon possession hoax, so they could try to scam several dozen locals out of their houses.

This cat stealing, house stealing scam is something they have been doing to people all over Southern Maine since BEFORE I was even born. The earliest known attempt at this house stealing scam dates back to their father David Henry Atwater and a house he stole in the 1930s in Rumford Maine. At the time, my grandfather used the hoax of an angel from heaven coming down and telling him to take the Rumford farm. And at the time, my grandfather was a transport driver for Honey Fizt's ACTUAL Boston Mafia, which is WHY, the Atwaters make the claim to be the Scottish Mafia. Their claim is that because they are Scottish, and their father worked for Honey Fitz that they are Mafia. But the Atwaters are neither Scottish nor Mafia, both claims are outright lies that are nothing more than part of the scam they run.

As can be seen with BOTH what she has spent the past 5 decades doing to Etiole and what she is currently doing to Todd Murphy's family on and off FaceBook, you can see how much my mother hyper focuses on homeless people and abusing their friends and relatives and using the homeless person's homelessness as excuses for the scams she runs.

That she spent decades running a land stealing scam in Etiole's name, and now is running another land stealing scam in Todd Murphey's name is utterly deplorable.

And you people who wonder WHY I've not had contact with my mother in 30 years, WHY I shun her. WHY I hate her and her Atwater thugs so much... you are right now witnessing it live as they do it all over again, this time taking advantage of the pain and suffering of Todd Murphy's family to try to steal land from people in the name of a homeless man who was killed by a train.

I am thoroughly and utterly disgusted with my mother's vile abuse of the Murphy family and what she is doing in the name of a dead man.

I've said it thousands of times before and I'll say it again: The Atwaters are scum.

The Atwaters devote their lives to abusing homeless people and the families of those homeless people, just so they can run their filthy scams, and I’m fucking sick of the Atwaters and their filth.


She has had several retaliation attacks happen to her, done by family and friends of the people she's harassing on FaceBook. the retaliation attacks included a Biddeford Public Works road grader being driven into her yard and over her car in 2017. Two additional attacks on her next car, the following year. And in June 2021 a man driving a green pick up truck drove into her yard and beat her car with a 2by4. (Note, I did not witness any of these attacks on her cars and only have her word on what happened.)

All of these people she is fighting with on FaceBook, I don't know, they are people she knows and they are not on my FaceBook and I blocked her and all the Atwaters from my FaceBook back in May 2015, when her and her nieces and nephews and siblings were posting death threats on my FB profile. One cousin cousin name, posted pictures of herself carrying a machine gun (not automatic rifle - but a machine gun - the big type you put on a tripod and have a belt full of hundreds of bullets slung over your shoulder- similar to a gatland gun but not as big, though she had pictures of her gatland gun too that she was also posting on my FB) She'd write under the pictures "This is the gun I'm going to shoot you with"... her husband was one of the guys arrested after the Jan 6 attack, by the way - the guy in Florida with the Nancy something's ( forget her last name, I think it began with a P? I don't know American politics, I find it all confusing so I'm not sure who the Nancy woman was). He stole her pulpit and  he was posting pictures of him stealing on FB. Her mom is aunt L, and she and he were among the 23 cousins that the FBI has been trying to find because they supplied a lot of the guns for the Jan 6th attack, according to posts they made on FB. I don't know, I never saw any such posts because I have them all blocked n FB since 2015. Her brother cousin name was also posting pictures of him carrying guns and writing death threats underneath on my FB wall. His messages said: "I'm an ordained Aaronic Priest and god has given me permission to blow your brains out with this gun". cousin name and cousin name are 2 of David and aunt L's 15 adult kids -all are 40 to 60+ years old. David is my mom's oldest brother, he's in his 80s. He is very violent, there has never been an occasion of him arriving on my land in Old Orchard, that did not involve his trying to kill me, usually by strangling me. He is the most violent of all the uncles. Several times while he's been here he beat up his adult kids by hitting them in the face with weights off of dumbells. 

Most of the Atwater men are retired Marines, and all of them are over 6'2" the tallest, is 7'3". These guys are HUGE and are all weightlifters. You don't want to cross one of the Atwater uncles, they are former Marines trained in weaponless combat. David runs a compound in Palmyra.. . and you might have just seen his crew in the news - they were doing a squatter's rights takeover of that big mansion next door to Stephen King in Bangor and somehow the place caught fire. The news reports didn't mention Stephen King and went out of their way to get camera angles that kept King's house out of the news, but I'm as familiar with Bangor streets as I am Old Orchard and Biddeford streets, so I recognized which house it was on the news, that got attacked by the squatters doing a take over war. 

My uncle and his kids are trying to confiscate the land all around Stephen King - they say they have the right to because no one was ever paid any money for being in The Thinner movie. That happened about 2 weeks ago, the news did not list the squatters name, but like I said, it's my uncle and his crew, they been focusing on the 20 or so houses around King's big red Victorian, for over a decade now. They tried to get me to help them do it, that's how I found out. They made the claim that because I'm an author I should be able to reason with Stephen King and convince him to hand over his red Victorian house in exchange for his never paying them for being in The Thinner. I told them to get lost and burn in hell. Just because I'm an author and King's film crew filmed a part of Thinner on my land in Old Orchard doesn't mean I know King himself, I never even met him, and them being obsessed with stealing land from people is just out of control. 

The whole Atwater clan does this. They don't see anything wrong with moving in, setting up camp, and driving the rightful land owners off their land at gunpoint.

They act like it's a family tradition to steal land from people, via squatting, harassment, corrosion, death threats, and outright just forging deeds and switching the files, like they did with my land.

And that's the issue we have going on right now. My mother has gone on a psych crazed warpath vendetta of taking my land or else, and or else so far has included her twice now having my father shove things up the tailpipe of my car, both times doing lots of damage t the car when I started the engine and everything inside blew up because of the fuel line blocked. And twice now - each time the same day as attacking my Volvo cutting the wires off the Biddeford apartment as well, in the same driveway where the car was parked.

Both times they admitted to doing it and both times used the justification that I deserved it because I was refusing to sell my land and give my mother the money to buy a house in Kennebunk. She says she has to move to Kennebunk to "get away from the niggars invading Maine, Kennebunk is all white they don't allow no niggars". She's very crude and vulgar and has an extreme hatred for black people and hangs around online with some group that calls itself "the workers of iniquity" which claims to be "a branch of the Ku Klux Klan because the original Ku Klux Klan is not strict enough".

Throughout 2016 people wearing KKK-like white robes and hood showed up in Old Orchard to make threats about my land. Back then I was unaware that my mother was friends with such a group. The robes are NOT KKK robes, the KKK robes are very distinctive, covered with fancy bead work and embroidery, and are not white, but are usually green or red or blue or yellow. It's a Hollywood myth that the KKK wears white, and that's how you can tell REAL KKK from fake wannabe's pretending to be KKK. Real KKK is not wearing white sheets and white pillowcases. The real KKK is a church that is organized similar to Catholic church and all their robes mean specific ranks, also they don't wear hood, they wear mitre hats like the pope does, and have a veil mask over their eyes. So its pretty easy to identify real KKK from fakers in white sheets, and the people showing up in my yard were not real KKK, they were fakers literally wrapped in white bed sheets with pillow cases over their heads. 

Well, various white-power groups show up in the area, that's nothing unusual. Neo-Nazi, Sovereign Citizens, ect. They've always been around Maine, so much so that there are KKK and white power history museums in Maine -one is in Saco. So, I didn't think much of the white hood idiots in my yard. We are Gypsies, white hooded idiots are a part of our non-white life.

Well, here's the thing: we are not white. My mother's mother was not a Gypsy. Eva Viola Little John Dyer Atwater was half Kickapoo Native American and half black. He mother was 100% Native America. Her father 100% black. My mom is 1/4 black, 1/4 Native American, and 1/2 Gypsy of Roumania/Arabian/Middle Eastern descent. There is not one drop of white blood in her. Which is why I was surprised to hear her say: "I gotta move to Kennebunk to get away from the niggars invading Maine, Kennebunk is all white they don't allow no niggars". Yes, Kennebunk is all white, and look at the news, the black school teach who lives in Old Orchard Beach and worked at Kennebunk schools is daily bombarded with swastika painted on her car while she's teaching class. I can't drive my Volvo down main street Kennebunk with out getting pelted with rocks and crowds running off the sidewalks screaming "death to Gypsy scum!" It's dangerous t drive through Kennebunk and not be white -they pull us coloured folks out of cars if we get stopped at a red light. Kennebunk is legendary for being the most white power town in the state of Maine.

One has only to look up the international news reports of the 10 year old school children dragging their black teacher into the streets and almost beating her to death -in 2020. That happened barely a year ago. Kennebunk is the most hostile anti-black town in America and they are proud of it, brag about it, and since the BLM stuff of 2020, Kennebunk has gotten ten times worse. And, she's been seeing all that in the news and wants to live there, and I'm not sure why, because like I said,  my mom is 1/4 black, 1/4 Native American, and 1/2 Gypsy of Roumania/Arabian/Middle Eastern descent and if she tries to buy a house there, and they find out she has black blood, they'll kill her. But she's all hyped up on a white power kick and wants to join Kennebunk's anti-black movement, and... I... I just don't understand it and I'm sure if that's actual why she wants to go thee or not.

There was a court case about the cats (3 different ones because the town hall dropped the case after evidence proved the cats were not mine and my mother had snuck them in my motorhome a few days earlier to try to frame me and then some MB guy crawled out of the woodwork to reopen the case a month later), which, for some reason was in my name, not her name, because the motorhome was mine, even though the cats were hers. Weirdly, half way through the court case the town hall dropped the case and some guy named MB Bureau took over it instead. Thing is, I don't know who this MB guy is. He's not anyone I have ever even met before and he was not at the court so I didn't meet him there either. He came in with lots of wild accusations about me harassing him, even though I had no clue who he was and had never heard of him before. MB's lawyer took photo copies of a conversation on Twitter between me and JB (the guy the FBI arrested for embezzling $30k out of the OOB town hall bank account - $3million in OOB tax money went missing, the rest was never found as far as I know. The Twitter conversation was this JB sending me death threats because he had just been released from prison, and he was claiming I had put him there, even though I didn't know him or that he'd been in prison or that he had stolen money from OOB town hall. According to FBI, JB was a church friend of my mother's and he and town manager Jim Thomas, had been Bishopric counsellors to Mormon Church Bishop DK and the 3 of them and several others from the Saco LDS church had taken over the OOB town hall in around 2010 and embezzled $3million in town taxes. Apparently my Uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, Richard Merlin Atwater, and aunt B had been involved, been involved and they had used fake social media accounts in my name to contact JB so he thought I knew him, that's why he contacted me on my real account after getting out of prison. I don't know the details I only know the small bit of info the FBI told me to let me know why this JB guy was contacting me.) For some reason, this MB guy, said the Twitter conversation with this Joel guy was about him. 

And apparently according to the FBI, this MB guy owns the old abandoned logging road across the street from me, which is numbered as 139 Portland Ave. I don't know, that road has been abandoned at least since the 1970s, I had no idea any one lived down there, but FBI says this MB guy does. I've been at 146 since 1975, and I've never see any one live there. FBI says there is another driveway on a different side that they probably use. Any ways, for some odd reason this MB guy took over the court case with the cats, only he suddenly said it was about me being transgender (but I'm not transgender, so I don't know why he said I was) His lawyer came into court saying I was a man pretending to be a woman, and here's where it got really weird, the lawyer copied what he SAID was an "About Me" page off of my website (eelkat.com) only what he copied was the about page for the main character of the novel series I write (I'm the author of 138 published novels). The series is about a male Elf who is possessed by a female parasitic alien jellyfish. So it's a female jellyfish wearing the body of a dead male Elf like a coat and passing herself off as him.

Well, this lawyer (Gene Libby) for this MB guy is waving THAT fictional character profile around in court, saying it was my personal about me page, and making the claim that I was a male to female transvestite who believed I was an Elf... and here's the kicker... his whole spiel was trying to convince the judge that I was insane so this MB guy could confiscate my land at 146 Portland Ave! It was the most bizarre thing, and the judge thought so too, because the judge tossed the whole thing out of court because the charges this MB guy had against me were so oddball off the wall nut job ridiculous. But the thing was, again, it was someone making wild claims that I had to hand them over my land, which is what keeps happening with every one of these weird attacks. And always, like both these 2 guys: JB and MB Bureau they are creepy ass strangers who crawl out of the woodwork, people I've never heard of before, making claims to being my friend (JB made the claim he was my best friend and said we talked all the time on FaceBook, but he wasn't on my FB and I'd never heard of him before. While MB Bureau in his court papers made the claim to be one of my uncles -he is not-and)

aunt B and aunt L of Bangor used to be putting stuff online about me and my brothers and JB would get it from aunt B and aunt L and forward it every where. This was in 2010 era, but I did not see the posts, because none of them is a FaceBook friend of me. The FBI however said they saw a lot of the posts, these people made, including several death threats. Seems likely something like that is happening again given the way people keep showing up here at the Biddeford apartment when no one even knew I was here.

I met aunt L about 3 times during my childhood, it's been 30+ years since I last saw her, and I've never spoken with her online or offline not once in my entire life.

aunt B I meet 10 or 12 times during my childhood, and likewise it's been 30+ years since I last saw her, except for 2 times. One in 2013 she showed up at my Biddeford apartment on Water St, with some medical scam idea she had that she wanted me to help her with. She said she was working at Blue Cross/Blue Shield and had found a way to get people's insurance money because a lot of people didn't file claims; she said she was also an EMT, and she could take the records from one job to cross with the other job, to have people's insurance money forwarded to a POBox she owned. I told her I wanted nothing to do with it and to get lost. I don't know how true any of the stuff she said was. I don't know if she worked at those places or could do the scam she was claiming or not.

aunt B showed up again in 2016, at the Gazebo Park (might be named Mechanic's Park?) on the Saco River by the water treatment plant. I was there walking my dog, and my mother showed up with an uncle Peter (now deceased) who was visiting from Utah. They were having a picnic. aunt B and Bruce showed up to trash everything, steal the food, and then leave. They were yelling and screaming the whole time. They acted drunk, except I didn't think they drank. I don't know. Mormons don't drink, not usually.

So I don't know aunt B and aunt L otherwise. I know nothing about them. Have never had contact with them, have never spoken with them online or offline. So, I'm puzzled as to why they were posting things online about me in 2010, or why they were acting like they knew me, when neither of them has ever been a part of my life or know anything about me.

But, they make claims that I say and do various things that I don't say or do. The list of things they've accused me of is massive and kind of crazy and include the claims that I am a prostitute, and that I am a Mafia gang leader ... like I said, it's just wild and also very slanderous and I'm sick of it.

Back in 2019 when my mother got her car, she had it over a month before I even knew she had gotten a car. I found out she had it when she flipped out saying I was online telling people she bought a car. And it turned out is was aunt B and Brucie online telling everyone she got a car, but I had told them,  even thought I had never talked to either of them since 2013 when FBI told me cut off all contact with them

aunt B and Bruce and aunt L all 3 are constantly telling people I said things, that I never said. 

I told you people been showing up talking about Todd and claiming I said things online about him, but I don't even know who he is or what they are talking about. It almost looks like someone is online impersonating me.

A few weeks ago an old man walked up to me, asked if I was EelKat and then asked me why I kept emailing him, and I said I don't email anyone cause I don't use email. He said some days he gets over 300 emails a day from someone claiming to be EelKat 

Last time my car had this problem was same day my father cut the internet on my mom's orders. Suspicious my car has same problem again, same day internet goes off again. It went off while my mother was here

aunt B showed up at water st day after golf club attack, but I never knew how she found out , I never told anyone online about it . Her and Bruce knew about it some how before any one else.  They wanted me to use my injury to help them run a medical scam and they were pissed when I refused to. They started spreading lies about me online because of that. That was Nov 2013

aunt B and Bruce knew about the cats and DAY BEFORE it happened. aunt B posted on my FaceBook wall "the next head nailed to the door will be yours" the day before any heads were nailed to door

I think it's aunt B online saying stuff about me and my mom, because she did it before and because FBI was here asking about her going down to Washington Jan 6 attack, but I didn't yet know the Jan 6 attack had even happened. They said aunt B aunt L and 23 cousins had been down there and they FBI was trying to find them. 

Old Orchard police and Biddeford police and a detective have all shown up asking about aunt B and aunt L and 23 cousins as well. But again I don't know anything because I not had contact with them. But FBI, 2 police departments and a detective are all saying aunt B and aunt L and 23 cousins are making claims about me, in connection to bombs and ISIS .

That's how I found out Paul Martel was in prison. According to FBI agents, Paul Martel built the bombs for the 2013 Boston marathon and the 2013 bomb at South Maine Community College and put the college bomb in my class to make it look like I made the Boston bomb. That's why the FBI showed up to begin with. They were at the college investigating both bombs that happened the same day

FBI said they believed the whole thing was aunt B and Bruce idea, but Paul martial was the one who actually built the bomb and sold it to ISIS, and put the second bomb in my class at college so Paul Martel was the only one they could arrest. FBI is trying to arrest aunt B because they think she's the one behind it. They said the whole thing seems to have started because Scott went to prison for selling drugs at Scarborough downs and for some reason aunt B thinks I'm the one who turned him in, even though I've not seen or heard from Scott since he was 8 years old

FBI thinks the attack on the cats was aunt B retaliating because Paul Martel got arrested. 

When Dickie died also in 2013, after the bomb in Boston but before the golf club attackers aunt B was with him taking charge of his medicine and his official cause of death was an overdose of his medicine, with a not saying unable to determine if accident or suicide. I found out this 2 days after he died when Jacksonville County state police from Florida showed up here in Maine to interview me about where I was the day Dickie died  because when he died aunt B called 911 and told the police I had killed him. 

The FBI thinks the golf club attack was aunt B retaliating because police didn't arrest me for murdering Dickie like she had demanded they do

FBI is full focused on arresting aunt B and Bruce. There's no evidence Bruce is dead. All evidence points to him being in New Zealand. 

FBI believes Bruce faked death because FBI was moving in to close and he didn't want to take the fall for what aunt B is doing 

In 1996 and 1997 aunt B sent out lots of emails to the family claiming the emails had been written by me. I did not have email, internet, or even a computer yet. She got Dickie and David and Joey in raving warpath over it. That's the summer they all showed up talking about Etiole and amphibious aliens and alien abduction. aunt B was the one who started all of that stuff about Etiole, who I never called Etiole. Etiole is not his name, it's always been the word the Atwaters used to describe him (it means man from the stars or alien it's a French word. I don't know French, aunt B is the one who knows French, so I never would have given him a French name) Bruce and Dickie went to a bunch on MUFON forums from 1996 to 2007 spreading lies about me and Etiole calling him a demon and alien and claiming I was an alien abducted. I found out about it in 2007 after they'd already been doing it for 11 years. I don't think aunt B has ever stopped sending out emails about Etiole while pretended to be me, I think she is still doing it.

My father was the one who told the Atwaters about Etiole. My father and Dickie both called him the white monkey. In 1994 and 1996 Bishop Morgan asked me to his office and showed me a bunch of letters, all of them signed "The White Monkey, OST". He said the letters were written to sound like I had written them but he said he'd seen my handwriting before and knew I hadn't written these. He wanted to know if I recognized the handwriting. Some had been written by daddy. Others had been written by Dickie. President Earnshaw later called me in for similar letters he had received and again the white monkey letters were written by mostly daddy and some Dickie all pretending to be me, trying to make it look like I was pretending to be Etiole. In total 16 Bishops and 2 stake presidents had contacted me over the years about white monkey letters

The white monkey letters stopped in 2007 when the psychiatrist at Biddeford hospital diagnosed daddy as having schizophrenia and put him on psychiatric medicine. Since 2007 no one has mentioned Etiole or white monkey, until the week Todd died when people started showing up in Biddeford driveway yelling about Etiole and calling him a suicide demon

The white monkey belonged to Helen pearly and has nothing to do with Etiole at all. In 1978 Helen pearly had a pet white monkey that got lost. Me and cousin Micheal saw it in the woods out back and tried to catch it. We found Etiole the same day. Etiole is a homeless man who lives behind my land in the woods. Me and Micheal took him food. For some reason because we found him while looking for Helen pearly white monkey my father and the Atwaters got it in their heads that Etiole was a demon alien shape shifter who turned into a white monkey to lure me and Micheal into the woods. And that's how their stupid ass alien and demon rumours got started.

I used to let him sleep in the Dodge at night, that's why people started saying the car was haunted. They said Etiole was a demon and the car was demon possessed. My father and Bruce used to stay up all night debating what kind of demon Etiole must be and kept calling me a demon child and a witch and saying I was demon possessed and they called Etiole my familiar and said I summoned him to cast curses and death spells. Bruce believed all that stuff as actual fact and after Bruce left for the night my dad would joke about how gullible Bruce was and how easy it was to convince him demons lived in my car. From there the rumours ended up on the internet through the Heaven's Gate group, that Bruce was a member of at the time. They were a group of around 200 people who went from one UFO forum to the next spreading rumours about me and Etiole. They did that for 11 years before I found out Bruce and his UFO friends were doing it. 

I found out when people started showing up in Old Orchard with beeping equipment claiming they were here the capture Etiole while calling him an amphibious alien and EBE and calling me "EelKat Etiole's friend" I did not use the username EelKat online and none of my books about EelKat (the black bobcat) had ever been published so there was no reason for internet people to know either the name EelKat or Etiole.  I was using the username xavychup online not EelKat, that's why my email address is xavychup not EelKat. EelKat is something Grammy called me back in the 1970s because she said eels and cats were my spirit animals. I never called myself EelKat online or offline so only the Atwaters had ever heard that word before and yet in 2007, I spent the entire summer with endless people showing up in my yard at my tent and all calling me EelKat and all looking for Etiole. 

Because I was living under the tarp I had no access to internet yet so had no clue what was going on online. I went to the library and searched Etiole and EelKat to see what came up and I found tens of thousands of forum posts and interviews and articles all written by Bruce and Dickie, including interviews with Buddy Hopkins, David Mack, and David Icke. All the stuff they said was how they had this demon possessed niece who had been abducted by aliens and has brought an alien back from the mother ship with her and was now protecting him. Every one of the forum posts. Interviews and articles had my full name, my old Orchard address, my email, and my old Orchard phone number listed. That was why so many people were showing up at the tent. In 2006 to 2009. The whole thing of people calling me a Witch and saying about curses and death spells and aliens and demons was started by daddy saying that stuff to Bruce and then Bruce and Dickie spreading it online for 11 years from 1996 to 2007

I started using the name EelKat online BECAUSE my uncles had spent 11 years calling me that on MUFON forums, and when I found out about it and started contacting all the forum admins, I had to tell every one:

"I'm Wendy Christine Allen. I'm the one you all call EelKat, Etiole's friend, the REAL EelKat, friend of the REAL Etiole,  and I'm here to slap every damned one of you with protection from harassment orders. I'm tired of the slander and lies you people are spreading about me of fucking UFO websites. I'm not an alien abductee, I've never claimed to be, until this morning I didn't even know what an alien abductee was. Etiole is not an alien. Etiole is not a demon. He's a local homeless man who has a skin deformity, so he hides in the forest because people are scared of him because of what he looks like, and they beat him up and bully him. The people telling you he's an alien are my uncles, who the ring leaders behind beating him up and bullying him, and I'm quite upset to find out they've been doing it online for quite some time and I'm only just finding out about it now, because earlier this week, I had 30,000 people in my driveway, trying to catch him while screaming that he was an amphibious alien and EBE. You UFO crazies are insane, and I want you people out of my yard. My uncles are lying to you about me and Etiole and you'll idiots for believing them."

I created an EelKat username EVERYWHERE just so I could post that message to every place my uncles had posted that fucking ass alien abduction shit about me and Etiole. THAT, is why you saw me start to use the EelKat username in 2007, when I was always xavychup everywhere before that.

And that is also why I do NOT have an EelKat email.  I've had the xavychup email since 1994, I still have it. And anyone using an eelkat email to contact you isn't me, because I don't have an eelkat email. It always has been and still is xavychup.

Last I knew aunt B and Bruce and aunt L and Bruce's daughters and David's kids and grandchildren were all still continuing to spread demon and alien lies about me and Etiole and were still putting my real name and address on everything. In 2019 they were putting my old Orchard address my high street address and also my water st address even though I was no longer at water street on thousands of forum posts and Facebook posts. In 2019 they were making several hundred posts daily across all there accounts and I found 27 fake EelKat accounts owned just by Bruce himself alone. They were all things like eeelkat, ee1kat, 33lkat, etc. Slightly spell different to look like it was me, yo someone looking quick and not paying attention.  They are likely still doing it and I assume they are doing the same to my mother as well. 

Also I don't even know what mothers address is. How could I put it anywhere? I didn't even know she moved until last summer and apparently she moved a few years ago. No one ever told me she had moved. 

Just like the saying about me saying she got a car. I didn't know about the white car until she came over in it to see Mickey last may and apparently she had a few cars in between. Last car I knew was the black one. I didn't even know she had a new car, let alone more than one.

No one ever told me those things, not her or any one else so it's utterly stupid for her to think I could put her address or cars online. Only people who knew about her address and cars could put them online.

Don't forget she never even told me when Dickie or Bruce died. Both times I found out from the FBI showing up to investigate accusations that I had murdered them

I'm the bed ridden, crippled by multiple attacks. The November 14, 2013 golf club attack, I was almost healed from, but the June 2016 shopping cart attack re opened the 2013 injury and doctors can't operate this time because of the bone shards severing my spinal column. I'm crippled for the rest of my life and no one in this family ever cared. 

Both attacks the FBI wanted to talk to my parents and they refused to talk to him both times. My baby was murdered in the first attack. I was 8 months pregnant and all any of them would do was gibberish about "rosemary baby" and say there was no baby because it was a demon because it was Etiole's. My parents and the Atwaters hate Etiole that much, that they shun the existence of my baby and act like it was never there. That's how much they hate me. That's how cruel and hate filled they are towards me. They spent the last 50 years calling me demon possessed and them saying that is WHY local people attack me and killed my baby and left me crippled for the rest of my life. 

I am in bed 15 or more hours a day, I can barely sit up, I can barely stand up long enough to cook, I have to wear adult diapers since 2013 because half my organs don't work any more because the nerves from those organs to my spine are cut off. My hands shake so bad that it takes me hours to eat a single meal. I can't go back to college, I can't go back to work. But do they care? No. Not my mother. Not my father. Neither of them give a shit. They are both too damned selfish thinking about their own greed to ever once lift a finger to help me. Daddy treats me like a fucking slave and my mother is so far out of my life shunning me because bishop kenning in Saco ward told her too that she hasn't got a clue how bad things are.

I'm not doing a damned thing to any of them. I mind my own business. I write my novels. I don't contact them. I don't talk to them. I don't talk about them.  Someone is clearly pretending to be me online and is slandering me and getting sick of it. My mother flips out about everything thing under the sun and I never have a clue what she's talking about, because I never did or said any of the things she accuses me of. And my father and the Atwaters do the same thing. Some one is out there pretending to be me to get them worked into a frenzy just to sit back and laugh while watching my mother, my father, and the Atwaters be too damned stupid to think. My mother and my father and the Atwaters are all filled with so much pure hatred for me that it takes nothing to convince them to attack me. And whoever it is posting online pretending to be me, knows that and is taking advantage of it. 

I'm too damned sick and crippled to even attempt to do half the crazy shit my mother and my father are accusing me of. And what's worse, my father is right here in the same apartment with me. He sees me every day, he knows how bad off my health is. 

Look how much I'm bleeding all over the house every day. Massive nose bleeds that last for hours to a time, not bleeding from my nose. Just coming out of my nose. I'm so dizzy I can't sit up for weeks to a time. I faint and blackout when I try to get up to go to the bathroom. The pain in my hip and pelvis and knee and spine is so bad I can't even move my fingers to type my novels. 

And look at what they do. Do they really think I'm physically capable of doing the things they accuse me of? They are so damned self centred and paranoid. It's all I can do just to sit up and eat something, how the hell do they think I can do the stuff they accuse me of? My day is spent focusing on trying to get my leg to move so I can make a meal, I don't even have time to think about them. 

It looks more and like my mother and my father are doing this stuff on purpose to try to kill me. My father knows how bad off my heart and lungs are and how difficult it is for me to breath after just a couple of steps. His mother left that land to me in her will in 1983. He stole it, had it put into his name illegally. He's been pissed ever since her death, because she gave everything to me not him. That's been a big problem for him for the last 40 years. He raves about it alongside his ravings about going to Utah taking him off the fire department. He hates my mother because of Utah, blames her every day for losing his fire department pension. He raves about it all night long every single night. He blames me for his mother disinheriting him. He raves about that all the time too. I was only grandchild That's why she left everything to me. Including the land that he stole and put in his name. That land is rightfully mine, his mother gave it to me, and he can't stand it. He's needling my mother about the land just to spite his mother.

He's only trying to get the land away from me because he is mad that the town didn't take it. His mother wanted it to stay in the family. It had been in her family since 1530. Her family was the original settlement family of old Orchard and my land is that spot that the first house in Old Orchard was built.  My father stopped paying taxes to spite his mother and lose the land. He said so many times. He was angry when I bought the land back from the town. He still is. He wants it out of the family because his mother wanted it in the family. That's why he's trying to turn my mother against me over the land. Because he gates his own mother that much.

Keep in mind the 4 door white truck showed up at my workplace daily. Even though I never knew ahead of time what store I would be working at. I was a retail merchandiser and stocked shelves at dozens of stores all over the state. Walmart's every where, CVS, khols, sometimes local, sometimes as far as Freeport and once in Vermont and once in Massachusetts.  I got the notice of which store to be at 15 minutes before I left. So the only person who ever knew where I was going was my father. 

And yet the 4 door white truck would also arrive ahead of me and be waiting. They didn't follow me, they got their first.

And the police caught the truck and the driver in 2017. Kathy BR owned the truck. Her son was the driver.

The smith's are my parents friends. My mother's visiting and home teachers for years.

Kathy was the district emergency dispatch for all the towns in the area, not just old Orchard. That's why none of the 911 calls went through during the attacks by the 4 door white truck. He only attacked while she was on duty. She never forwarded any of the calls so officers never were told to come help me.

That includes the November 14, 2013 golf club attack in South Portland. But the college security officer made a report even though the police never arrived. That big black officer who was head of security was on duty and him and 2 student officers from the police academy made the report.

And FBI found the data from the calls, that never got forwarded to police, that's why Kathy BR lost her job. Because she's the one who tampered with the 911 call files.

Tim and Kathy BR both, not together, individually, arriving separately, both arrived at my tent multiple times throughout the entire year of 2013, saying they were coming to speak to me on behalf of someone who wanted to remain anonymous. So I never knew who sent them. Each time they arrived all they would say was that I had to tear down "the little yellow house" as they called the shop. 

August 8, 2013 the backhoe drove over the shop while I was at work on the food truck down by the pier.

I never saw Tim or Kathy again after that. Not once. And these were people who stopped by to visit my parents daily for over 40 years. Since August 8, 2013 and the backhoe attack on my house, Kathy and Tim have gone to alarming extreme levels to avoid running into me. They just down the street, on one of the private drives, so it's difficult to avoid running into me, and we used to see them a few times a week at local grocery stores. They both, if they see me in a store, literally throw whatever they are carrying across the store and run out of the store like they have a pack of rabid wolves on their heels. It's pretty fascinating thing to see.

My cousin and next door neighbour Tim Murphy was murdered that same week, a few days before the backhoe. His body was left at the cascade Ross road crossroad. 14 days later his head was left at the Portland Ave Ross road crossroad road. His mother put up the big white cross a month later. 

The 4 door white truck showed up a few days later. 

Tim Murphy had an identical truck. The police and FBI initially thought it was his, but his truck was later found.

Tim Murphy owned Etiole's swamp and was the one buying most of the food and supplies for Etiole. 

Tim Murphy was with me and Micheal the day we tried to catch Helen pearly white monkey and found Etiole. 

The FBI believes that Tim Murphy was killed by someone trying to frame Etiole and believes the murder was a retaliation over Tim Murphy refusing to sell the swamp land behind me. 

At the time the FBI was looking at DF Feeney as a suspect but DF Feeney's family was killed in a murder suicide and he too is now seen as someone who was being framed.

The swamp, sandpit, and pond behind me, the Murphys own that, and 3 people in their family have now died horrifically violent deaths because they, like me were protecting Etiole from the people who would kill him because they believed Bruce's demon and alien lies about Etiole. 

Look at what is being done to me. They drove a backhoe over my house and they murdered my baby and they crippled me, all days apart.

Look at what is being done to the Murphys. And they're massacring the Murphy family. Tim's death the same time as the attack on me.

And look at who screams the loudest hate for Etiole. Look WHO calls him a demon.

And look at WHO the FBI's number one suspect in all of this is.

My family laughs and jokes about this whole thing like they think it's a fucking game. People are dying and the FBI is not laughing. 

Look at WHO keeps attacking my car. Look at WHO keeps cutting the wires off the apartment. Vandalism. Harassment. Bullying. Threats. Evil people Evil things. By their fruits yea shall no them, for no good thing springs from dead wood. Those are small petty crimes, but they are still crimes. But it's far beyond petty crimes. The list of people who have been murdered is quite long now. 13 died just at the Boston marathon bombing. I'm crippled for the rest of my life, and so far, I'm the only person who was attacked who lived through an attack. Every one else they've attacked is dead. Most of them beheaded or killed in a bomb. 7 different bombs, including one in my classroom at college in 2013, two in my workplace in 2015 and 2016, the house in Old Orchard in 2006, and my doctor on Saco Ave in 2003 where the doctor the nurses and 21 patients were killed. And the FBI was on site for every one of them, and my family thinks it's funny to laugh and make jokes about all of it. Because that's they do since the day me and Micheal and Tim Murphy found Etiole

Do you realize for all the shit my parents have pulled,  they've never once apologized for anything. And you know why? Because they aren't sorry. They feel no guilt. They feel no shame. They feel no remorse. Why? Because they hate me. They always have. From the time I was old enough to walk both of them reminded me daily that I was supposed to be a boy to replace the baby boy that was born before me. That's why Grammy Helen was the one who was always with me until I was 8. And after that it was Grammy Eva. And then BW. 

Do you know how I found out Santa wasn't real? Grammy Helen died when I was 8. That year for Christmas there were no Christmas presents. There was just my parents arguing over which one of them should have lowered themselves to buy a gift for the mistake that committed the sin of not being born a boy. I remember that Christmas better than any other. Because that's when found out exactly how much my parents hated me and thought I was worthless because I was a girl.

Look at my MRI scans at the damage the foundation nail through my hip did. The mutilated bones that were shattered when I was 6 years old and no one took me to the hospital. I've walked on a broken leg for almost 50 years. 

Look at the jaw surgery I had to have when I was 42 to repair an injury done to me with a brick when I was 14. 

Look at the Gremlin, 1974 orange, obliterated by a sledgehammer. 

Look at what happened when I was awarded phi theta kappa. No one went to the award ceremony. My mother said it was stupid. My father spent the day raving calling me an educated damned fool. BW was at the temple with Rick. And people with golf clubs were waiting at my car.

Do you realize if just one single person had cared enough to be at the phi theta kappa awards my baby might not have been murdered and I might not be crippled now. 

Grammy Helen would beat my dad's ass for the shit he does to me. And Grammy Eva would be ashamed of the stuff my mother does. Neither Helen or Eva would have let them get away with the constant abuse and harassment.

As for what happened to my car March 9, 2022 - KRA vandalized my car and tried to make it look like my brother did it. KRA stuffed the tailpipe full of McDonald's ketchup packets, which is what caused the fuel line to blow up. I could have died. He tried to kill me and make it look like my brother who works at McDonald's did it so my brother would be blamed.

KRA did the same thing in November, because of some guy named Todd who I supposedly convinced to kill himself via may painting a "suicide demon" on my car. There is a picture of Etiole on my car, that is what they are calling "a suicide demon"



UPDATE: February 27, 2022:

Do not underestimate either my willingness or how far I will go to protect my murdered son's grave from being destroyed by the bastards who are the @FBI s number one suspects in having killed him. The ONLY reason that bitch is hell bent on digging up my farm is because she wants to destroy the evidence of my baby having been murdered by golf clubs.

I'm sick of my mother and my mothers shit head Atwater relatives. They won't stop focusing on the cats. They are lost in a delusional refusal to face reality and that is impeding the fbi investigation of the murder of my baby and the crippling of my spine, because all either of them will do is say there was no baby and tell everyone lies about me and I don't like it. My baby is dead and that has nothing to do with the cats and I'm sick of my mother and her filthy Atwater thugs both ignoring what happened at the college 2 years before the cat event happened AND daily arriving to bully me and say it was “RoseMary’s Baby” and not a real baby because it was a demon, because Etiole was a from.

 

Etiole is not a demon, my baby with him was not a demon, you murdered my fucking baby because you are retarded religion crazed jackasses. Get the fuck out of my life and go burn were evil people like you belong!

 

I'm tired of every time I mention the baby that was murdered November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College,  they wave their hand in my face and say, "no you're just upset about the cats". The cats happened May 14, 2015 and those cats were not mine, they were my mother's cats, that she hid in my motorhome because her landlord Nick didn’t know she had 13 cats in her Birch St apartment. And he evicted her a year later when he found out the cats were hers.

That's why SHE is the one making a fuss about them, not me. I'm not the one running around yapping about the cats constantly,  she is. I'm talking about my son. 

 

My baby boy that was murdered by 3 attackers wielding golf clubs in the SMCC parking lot. A blond woman whom the redhaired woman called Claire, a redhaired woman who the blond woman called Kendra, both in their 60sish, and a bald man in his 30ish.

 

I'm not talking about my mother's cats, I'm talking about my child. What the fuck is wrong with these people? 

 

As for my car … did you all forget when and why I painted it? May 12, 2014. Mother's day. The first mother day after my baby was murdered. I painted my Volo on mother's day to divert my mind from killing myself. That's why I painted my car 9 years ago and you all know that, I've said as much hundreds of times.

Ty Mother and the Atwaters are refusing to acknowledge the baby because also refuse to acknowledge Etiole, a local homeless Jewish man who is the baby's father. 

My Mother and the Atwaters are so damned bigoted and religion crazed that all they’ve ever done is call Etiole a demon or an alien, since the first day they ever saw him: September 23, 1978.

It’s been almost 50fucking years that they’ve harassed him because of what he looks like and harassed me because I won’t let them beat him to death. 

They fully 100% believe he is not human and they run around slandering him every chance they can get and they’ve been doing it for 50 fucking years now. 

And THAT is the ONLY reason, they are doing what they are doing right now. 

 

They have NO RIGHT to be on my land. They are fucking trespassing.

Because they are so damned brainwashed by their fucking religions, that they can’t stop believing anyone who is physically deformed MUST be a Demon.

 

And they’ve spent the last 9 years daily hounding me and whooping and cheering joyous celebration over “killing the demon” as they refer to my baby.

 

In you hadn’t watched the local news - January 2022 - there was a massive FBI raid on Main Street and Cutts Street Biddeford, Maine. 8 of the men who have been roaming Southern Maine beating up pregnant women with golf clubs, were arrested and are now in jail where they belong, soon to be moved to federal prison.

And THAT is what has got the Atwaters in a frenzy now, digging up my land in Old Orchard Beach. They are desperately trying to find my dead baby’s unmarked grave, because they know his gold club shattered skull is very damning evidence for them, now that the FBI made a move and started arresting a bunch of their thugs.

 

And those arrested that just happened, they happened because the FBI phone number was painted on my car and locals in Biddeford, came forward with witness testimony of the attacks.

 

What my mother and the Atwaters are doing is cruel and evil and hateful, and I’m sick of it.

They don’t care about or my life, and my baby or his life. As can be seen by the fact of how he died.

The FBI is still trying to ID the bond Claire woman and the redhaired Kendra woman. They caught the bald man with the 4 door white pick up truck, we now know who he is - the son of the Old Orchard Beach police dispatch woman, the woman who would never let any 911 calls begging for help while these attacks were happening, go through.

Don't be surprised if you see the signs - all 144 of them - go back up in my driveway. Because I'm fucking sick of being harassed, and the agreement to keep the signs down, specified that EVERYONE in Old Orchard Beach - ALL RESIDENTS would NEVER HARASS ME again. You people have broken your agreement. I'm painting new signs as we speak.

EVERYONE - includes real estate agents, developers, contractors, construction workers, and any Atwater bitch who thinks they have the right to daily show up at my Biddeford apartment to say: "What are we going to do about Wendy, she can't keep that land, I need a downpayment on a house, she is going to sell her land and give me the money or else!"

Burn in hell you fucking bitch, and take all your fucking Atwater shitheads with you.

There are more then 500 graves on my farm - more than half of them Native American, some of them buried as far back as the 1400s. I WILL NOT let you touch those graves. I take my job as the guardian of these graves VERY SERIOUSLY. And you WILL have an all out war on your hands if you dare touch them.

Now she's threatening to dig up the graves on my land.

My dead baby means a hell of a lot more to me, then her fucking house. She never gave a damn when my baby died, but look at what she did when the cats died. Her priorities are fucked up.

My dead baby means a hell of a lot more to me, then her fucking house. She never gave a damn when my baby was murdered. But look at what she did when the murderers returned and killed the cats!

Look at what she is STILL doing about the fucking cats!

That's all she cares about. Those damned dead cats and her glut lust to have a mansion in KennebunkPort.

Her priorities are fucked up.

She doesn't give a damn about Human life.

And you know what's worse, the FBI thinks she, her sister Barbara, her brother Bruce, and their friends Claire and Kendra, where the people wearing the fake KuKluxKlan robes and hoods on November 14, 2013, when they used golf clubs to beat my baby to death and break my spine leaving me crippled for the rest of my life. 

Her, Barbara, Bruce, Claire, and Kendra - those are the FBI’s #1 suspects in the murder of my baby, November 14, 2013.

And what the hell is with people mixing up me and my mother? 

I'm NOT the one hell bent on a house. I have been willfully homeless for decades I have no desire for the confines of a house. The one running around yapping hysterics about a house IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about cats. The one running around yapping hysterics about cats IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about Todd, I don't even know who Todd is! I don't know any one named Todd! The one running around yapping hysterics about Todd IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about Mark and Dan and Watson, I don't even know who Mark and Dan and Watson are! I don't know anyone named Mark or Watson and the only Dan I know is my cousin and it's clearly not him she's talking about. The one running around yapping hysterics about Mark and Dan and Watson IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one putting curses on people. I don't believe in curses. The one running around yapping hysterics about curses and claiming she's casting death spells on people IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about demons. I don't believe in demons. The one running around yapping hysterics about demons and calling Etiole a demon IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one calling Etiole a demons. I don't believe in demons. Etiole is a local homeless man and Etiole isn't even his name, I don't use his real name online to protect his identity. I'm not the one who calls him Etiole either. Etiole is the name the Atwaters call him. The one running around yapping hysterics about demons and calling Etiole a demon IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about aliens or UFOs or alien abduction. I don't believe in aliens or UFOs or alien abduction. The one running around yapping hysterics about aliens or UFOs or alien abduction IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one calling Etiole an alien. I don't believe in aliens and besides that, Etiole is a local homeless man. The one running around yapping hysterics and calling Etiole an alien IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

I'm NOT the one talking about Voodoo dolls and Voodoo curses. Voodoo has nothing to do with Voodoo dolls and curses. Voodoo dolls and curses are mumbo-jumbo made up by Hollywood movies and have nothing to do with the Voodoo religion at all. Voodoo is a branch of the Catholic Church. Look it up. Voodoo is a Christian religion. A Voodoo Priest is a type of Catholic Monk. A Voodoo Priestess is a type of Catholic Nun. Voodoo does not cast curses or use voodoo dolls. The one running around yapping hysterics about Voodoo dolls and Voodoo curses IS MY MOTHER NOT ME!

Open your eyes people. Me and my mother don't look that much alike. You should be able to tell the difference between me and her.

Stop showing up in my yard to to attack me because of some fucking shit you argued with my mother about.

If you've got a problem with my mother, take it up with her not me.

Her, Barbara, Bruce, Claire, and Kendra - those are the FBI’s #1 suspects in the murder of my baby, November 14, 2013.

No, I have no updates on Etiole.

He was shot, by a local lunatic.

No, he's not okay.

And I am getting sick of this fucking ass rumour of Etiole being an alien or a demon.

The fact of Etiole being an alien is a stupid urban myth started by some crazy ass locals.

The fact of Etiole being a demon is a stupid urban legend created by some religion crazed nuts.

Etiole is an old man covered with acid burns. His skin is white and face disfigured from acid burns. He's not an alien and he's not a demon. And you people who call him an alien and call him a demon, you're all fucking crazy. 

Etiole is a homeless Jewish man who has no skin because he was tortured in a Nazi concentration camp in France during WW2. He came to Maine in 1953 with a bunch of other refugees, He has post traumatic stress disorder really bad and he's terrified of people. He can't function in normal society, so hides in the forests. He's not an alien, he's not a demon, he's not a cryptid. He's a disfigured old man, now in late 90s. He barely get around. He doesn't you people harassing him like this. Why can't you people leave him alone? Why are you all so damned desperate to believe in aliens or demons that you have to harass a helpless old man? Leave him alone. Why can't you leave him alone? What is wrong with you people?

Read The Amphibious Aliens article, https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html where way back in 2007, I DEBUNKED every one of you stupid ass alien, cryptic, demon, and haunted car rumours. Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World's Most Haunted Car, goes over every event from the 1970s, that started the fucking rumour, and lists off how every alien, demon, and haunted car rumour was proven to be nothing but a hoax started by my mother's brother  Mervin Bruce Atwater. Every single one of those rumours was started by that one man, and were proven to ALL be hoaxes he perpetrated to try to get money out of Dr Larochelle, the man who hit Mervin's younger sister with a car. They tried to convince the old doctor his car had a demon living in it and they scammed the doctor out of $20,000 back in the 1970s. THAT is how and why the demon car rumour got started. I bought the car in 1975. Etiole started living in it in 1978. And that is how me and Etiole got dragged into the fucking ass rumours about a demon car.

The article Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World's Most Haunted Car DEBUNKS ALL of the alien, cryptid, demon, and haunted car rumours. Every last one of them.

The car is not haunted and Etiole is not a demon.

You people who believe my car is haunted or think that Etiole is a demon, you are all fucking retarded.

You are slandering me!

You are slandering Etiole!

You are slandering my cars!

I'm sick of it!

Grow up and go get a damned fucking brain!

I'm sick of you people harassing me and Etiole over stupid shit started by brain dead idiots.

If you are having problems with my mother, tell FBI agent Andy Drewer about it not me. Have information, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

Have information about the murder of my baby, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

Have information about any of the attacks on my family, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

Have information about the people who shot Etiole, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

If you have information about anything, call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322 and give it to him, not me.

https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html





UPDATE March 8, 2022

One sign is back up. 

How many more go up, is dependent upon YOU.

From now on, every time one of you Old Orchard Beach, Pine Point, or Biddeford shitheads decides to harass me, I'm going to put up another sign.

If you want no more, then you better make dammed sure you keep your friends and family and neighbors out of my yard and out of my life. I'm not selling my land, and I'll not let you dig up those graves.

Burn in hell.

No means no.

And I'm tired of saying no.

Just like rapist, you refuse to take no for an answer.

No. I'm not selling my land and giving you the money so you can buy a house in Kennebunk.

I've said no to you every single week since August 2021. And your current threats to dig up the graves on my land and move them to your land, is why the signs are going back up.

I'm tired of you bullying me.

I'm tired of your threats.

I'm tired of your gaslighting.

I'm tired of your lies.

You keep saying "After all I've done for you!" What have you done for me? When I was 8 years old you locked me in a racoon trap and left me there for 27 years, only letting me out on Sundays so you could parade me around in the Cape Elizabeth and Saco Ward Mormon churches to pedophile priests who paid you so they could rape me. That's why you never had a job until 5 years ago, because you made plenty selling your pre-teen daughter for sex to dirty old men.

You drove a foundation nail through my hip when I was 6 years old.

From the tie I was 14 until I was 42 years old I was near mute, because you broke my jaw with a brick. I was 42 when I had surgery to rebuild my jaw, that's why I can talk today.

You never allowed me or my bothers to go to school or doctors.

YOU took a sledge hammer to my 1974 AMC Gremlin, my 1976 AMC Gremlin, my 1976 AMC Hornet, my Olds station wagon, and you took a chain saw to my 1964 Dodge 330 the worlds most haunted car, the real Christine. YOU did that.

Since 1978 you have harassed me and me boyfriend, the one you call Etiole, because YOU believe he's a demon because of his skin deformities. You and your sister and your brothers contacted MUFON and told them lies about me and Etiole both. You called him the amphibious alien and claimed he had abducted me. Your alien abduction hoax, almost got him killed in 1997 and again in 2007 when ufo crazies arrived in my yard calling him an EBE and trying to shoot him "for science". An elderly man, a French, Jewish Nazis concentration camp survivor who lives in the forest because his PTSD and fear of people is so bad. A man who is scarred with acid burns from being tortured in WW2 and is neither a demon nor an alien and who deeply traumatized by YOUR endless harassment.

It was YOUR friends who drove a backhoe over my house August 8, 2013 because YOU paid them $600 to do so. Because you thought without a house I would sell my land. But I wasn't the one living in that house. My dad lived there. All you did was put him in a Biddeford apartment. I was already living in the tent since May 9, 2006, and I had the Biddeford apartment since February 13, 2007. 

It was YOUR friends who attacked me with golf clubs at Southern Maine Community College, November 14, 2013, while I was 8 months pregnant with Etiole's baby. That they murdered, on YOUR orders, because as YOU put it "It's RoseMary's Baby" while you gibbered about some horror movie about demon babies.

That was YOUR own grandchild that YOU hired those people to kill.

April 10, 2015, YOU broke into my motorhome, put YOUR 13 cats in it, them then brought YOUR friends to attack my family.

We now know the owner of the 4-door white truck, was YOUR visiting teach, Kathy, the driver who tried to kill me, was her son, and the reason the 911 calls didn't go through during each attack, was because she was the 911 dispatcher and her son, driving her 4door white pick up truck, only attacked me she was on duty. They were YOUR friends from the Saco Ward church, YOUR church, attacking YOUR daughter on YOUR orders.

Since August 2021, you arrive at my apartment 3 times a week, to tell me I need to put curses on people at your workplace, citing that I have to, because you're my mother and I'm demon possessed and I should be putting my demons to good use by helping you kill three people you don't like at work.

I'm sick of you calling me demon possessed.

I'm sick of you demanding curses.

You have a severe mental problem and you need psychiatric help.

I'm sick of you spreading slanderous lies about me telling every one around town I cast curses and death spells, when I've never done either.

November 19, 2021, YOU friend Todd commit suicide and YOU told YOUR friends, that me and Etiole used suicide demons to drive him in front of a train.

YOUR friend Todd, who I did NOT know and had never heard of until 6 of YOUR friends showed up at Rotary Park November 21, 2021 to gun down Etiole while screaming that they were "killing the suicide demon", while we were walking my dog.

Something YOU now brag that YOU tricked YOUR friends into do, because you needed to get Etiole off my land in order to convince me to sell it and give YOU the money for a down payment on a house in Kennebunk.

Christmas Eve 2021, you arrived at MY apartment in Biddeford, STOLE my father's psychiatric medicine, medicine he needs to keep him NOT violent, because he has extremely violent schizophrenia and one hell of a criminal record that requires him to never be in the same room with a gun, let alone never have one. He was committed to a mental ward in 2007, and they ONLY let him out because he came to Biddeford to live with ME in MY apartment, and I was monitoring his meds.

After YOU stole his medicine, you took him with you daily to Kennebunk, to a mansion by Bush's house, to daily tell him, you would give him that house if he forced me to sell my land and give you the money from my land to buy that Kennebunk house.

Tell, me, what of THOSE things, is YOU doing anything FOR me?

No, means, no.

I'm done saying NO to you.

You are nothing but a land rapist.

Just like a rapist you refuse to accept No for an answer.

Every week since August 2021, I've said no to you.

No, I will not sell my land and hand you the money so you can buy a house in Kennebunk.

No, means no.

And no, I'm not happy with the fact that because I won't sell my land and give you the money, you are now threatening to dig up the graves on my land and move them to your land.

No, I'm not happy with you saying "You don't need the land, you don't use it, I need a house in Kennebunk, you ought to want to sell your land and give me the money!"

Yes, I do use my land.

Yes, I did see the car YOU dumped behind my motorhome. You have till the end of summer to get it off my land or the police are taking it.

What I do with my land is none of your damned business.

And for your information, my land is where I write my novels. I sit on the hill, and I write every day, all summer long. The only reason I didn't in 2021 is because I had Covid for 3 months.

No, telling me that my grandmother's evil spirit is haunting my land. also does not inspire me to want to sell it.

YOU are an evil, hate fill, mean, cruel, sadistic, child abusing, vindictive sociopath.

Get psychiatric help.

You need it.

What you are doing is wrong and you know it. You won't be so upset about what is painted on my car, if you didn't know it.

You can't hide from the truth forever. 

You can't hide your sins, your crimes, your cruelties forever.

Good things will never come to you, until you stop doing evil things to those around you.


Don't forget, my camera runs 24/7 and it's a simple matter of my uploading the video footage of you doing and saying things thing. Plus a lot of it, you said and did while I was livestreaming so people online have already seen and heard you say and do these things.

Yes, I even have video footage of the 4 bicycle brats who chased the homeless man into the train November 2021.

EVERYTHING, I have said here I have video footage of. That is WHY the FBI have been able to arrest so many people these past few months, in Biddeford.

Cutting the wires off our house November 2021 - you did on a livestream. People saw you do it WHILE you were doing it. 

All 2 of the FedEx workers you demanded death curses for - you did on a livestream.

Stealing my dad's meds - you did on a livestream.

Saying "What are we going to do about Wendy, she can't keep that land, I need a house" - you did on a livestream.

Threatening to dig up the graves on my land - you did on a livestream.

All that n-word stuff you said about the black men at your workplace - you did on a livestream.

People been seeing and hearing you live. They've already seen and heard a lot.

How do you plan to explain away all the hundreds of hours of video footage I have of you breaking into my bedroom during a live stream to threaten me, my family, my land?












To the people who asked about weird emails that you claim you got from someone claiming to be me, here are a few things to consider:

#1: I DO NOT use email and I NEVER have. if you get a letter from me it is going to be written in ink on paper, and in a stamped envelope the mail truck delivered to your mailbox at the end of your driveway. Since 1997 my aunt Barbara has been sending emails out to people CLAIMING they were from me, so in all likelihood whatever you got was actually from her. Her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater did the same thing throughout the early 2000s. And 57 of their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren have done it at well. No, I’m not special. They do this to THOUSANDS of people. They run a medical scam and pretend to be LOTS of big name famous authors, hoping you’ll click whatever link they put in the email, because the link is going to open a .exe phishing program to steal your credit card data and medical records. The FBI is currently investigating their medical fraud, email fraud, scam operation, so if you ARE getting emails claiming to be from me, PLEASE print up the email ad take it to the FBI office on Middle Street in Portland, Maine. FBI Agent Andy Drewer is in charge of not only the investigation of the 2015 murder of my family, but he is also in charge of the email impersonation fraud, and the stalker doing the email fraud.

#2: As you have stated, the topic of the emails is Etiole... do know that I have NEVER talked about Etiole, with ANYONE, online or offline. Unlike my mother, and her sister, my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, I happen to respect people’s privacy. As I have said before: Etiole is a Jewish, French, Nazi concentration camp refugee who came to Maine in 1953 with a boatload of about 300 other concentration camp survivors. He is covered with acid burns, so his skin looks ghastly white and horrifically disfigured, which is why he lives in the swamps around the Saco River. he is now in his 90s and is still as homeless as he was in the 1950s. He has severe posttraumatic stress disorder, can not speak/is mute, does not have the mental capacity to function in normal society on any level what so ever, and me and a few others have been taking care of him, giving him food and clothing and supplies and medical attention since 1978. There is nothing else you need to know. You do not need to know where he is or how to find him. If you want to see him, go to y livestream/video archive and watch the VOD where I visited him on livestream so you could see what he looked liked and how crippling his metal condition really is.

#3: I feel I shouldn’t have to say this, but apparently I do NEED to say this: Etiole is NOT an alien, nor is he a demon. The article Amphibious Aliens is free to read online. It goes over all the details of both the alien rumours and the demon rumours and debunks them all, while proving all the proof, including medical records and documentation of the people behind the rumour.

#4: The ONLY person who ever claimed I was abducted by aliens was my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, who was the leader of the Mane division of Heaven’s Gate for over 40 years. Heaven’s Gate if you do not know, was the UFO suicide cult who murdered 39 people with poisoned Kool-Aid in California in 1997, because Comet HaleBop flew over that night.

#5: I found out about my so-called alien abduction in 2007, when a MUFON tour group showed up in my yard asking to interview me. They carried with them more than a dozen books by various UFO/alien experts and over 100 newspaper articles, all featuring interviews with my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, interviews all from the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, all of them telling of how I was supposedly a demon possessed child, whose best friend was an alien named Etiole. It was 2007, and it was the first time I had ever heard the term “alien abduction” I didn’t even know what it was. The MUFON group - a group of 30,000 people - standing in my driveway 2007 all wanted to interview me as they pointed out NONE of the 30+ years of several hundred interviews with my aunts and uncles, not ONE of the interviews was WITH ME. This was the source of the April 2007 article titled Amphibious Aliens, where I shocked the MUFON world with the revelation that I was NOT an alien abductee, nor had I ever claimed to be one. It also infuriated me to find out that my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater had been running around telling people about Etiole, as I had never told ANYONE - NOT EVEN THEM - about Etiole. It turns out my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater go their alien and demon stories about Etiole from my mother and THIS is WHY I disowned my mother, shun her, and have had nothing to do with her, or her sister my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, since 2007. The slanderous alien and demon, gossip, rumours, and lies my mother and her sister my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater spread about me and Etiole are deplorable and I HATE my mother and her sister my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, and I hope they burn in hell for the alien and demon shit they pulled on me and my homeless boyfriend.

#6: That same Amphibious Aliens article ALSO debunks the stupid ass haunted car rumours. My 1964 Dodge 330 is NOT haunted and we fucking proved that. And AGAIN, the haunted car rumour, is sourced to my aunt Barbara and her brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater. That car ran over my aunt Barbara when she was 2 years old. At the time, the car belonged to Dr. Larochelle of Ocean Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine. My than 2-year-old aunt Barbara almost died and her older brothers Richard Merlin Atwater and Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater, came up with a haunted car/demon possession hoax to scam that elderly doctor out of $20,000, which my grandmother Eva Viola Atwater spent on a 3 year trip to Hawaii in 1973. The Atwaters scammed and terrorized the doctor so badly, that he sold the car to me in 1975 for $5 because he was convinced it was attacking people. The car became famous in 1983 when my then neighbour Stephen King used the demon possession story of my car as the basis for his book Christine. He named the car Christine because Christine is my real name and I owned the actual car. Stephen King returned 10 years later in 1994 to film the Thinner movie in my yard, because I’m the real world “Gypsy Witch” (priestess) that he based his fictional Gypsy Witch in Thinner off of. The movies Christine and Thinner are what in turn made ME famous, and started locals accusing me of being a witch with a demon car.

And as for the fucking Thinner movie - those bastards were trespassers. They just showed up unannounced, barged in, set up filming, without permits or licenses or contracts or permission or even telling us ahead of time that they were coming. No one in Stephen King’s crew acted legally, we are not in that movie willingly, they were not on our farm legally, no one ever received a penny for any of it, and to make things worse, Steven King had no right or permission to go o late night television and tell people my home address and tel his fucking fans to “go visit the Thinner Gypsies of Saco Maine”. They had no right to be on my farm, they had no right to be filming my family. They just dropped in one day. We had no clue who they were or why they were there and it took us fucking 5 hours to chase those trespassing bastards and their film crew off our farm.

In short: I don’t use email, so you NEVER got an email from me. I’m not a witch. My car isn’t haunted. Etiole is not a demon. Etiole is also not an alien. And I was never abducted by aliens.

Also, I don’t know what you are talking about with the house stuff. I’m NOT trying to build a house, I’ve NEVER tried to build a house, I have never applied for a house permit, I’ve never been denied for a house permit because I’ve never even tried to get one. You clearly have me mixed up with someone else.

I’m at 146 Portland Ave. I have 2 neighbours who are building a house: 144 Portland Ave next door to me and 139 Portland Ave across the street from me. I think you mean one of them. My neighbour at 144, has been trying to build a house for 17 years and the town hall has been giving them the runaround. I think SHE at 144 Portland Ave is the one you mean, not me at 146. You seem to have us mixed up somehow.

SHE at 144 is the one putting in a septic system, not me at 146. I’m the one with the pink motorhome and the 35-year-old black Volvo. she’s the one with the brand new big black car and the log cabin house.

You have seriously mixed the two of us up big time.

Understandable considering it was HER family at 144 fighting with the Cyr Clan over a septic tank in 2014, and the Cyr Clan hired a hitman who accidentally murdered MY children, ten of them and nailed their heads to my motorhome door, at 146 than the white-haired man with the green pick-up truck has spent the last 7 years TELLING YOU via running up the street knocking on doors, tell you that it was EelKat trying to build a house, ONLY telling you that to try to cover his ass for mixing up my children at 146 when it was my neighbours children at 144 that was the ACTUAL target.

This is not speculation, the FBI have 100% positive proof that she and her children, not me and my children were the intended target because her family was having a fight with some Connecticut based heroin drug gang that calls itself the Cyr Clan over the septic tank. The hit men the Cyr Clan hire got the wrong house when they murdered my family. And now the Cyr Clan’s trying to convince you that I was the one building a house. I have no interest in a house. Why would I? I’m a Gypsy, I’ve never lived in a house. I’ve always lived in cars and tents my whole life. I have no interest in a house on any level whatsoever. I don’t NEED one, I never have. And you local people should know that. When my health is bad, I rent apartments in Biddeford. I’ve done this for 50 years now. You know that. You ALL know that. I’ve owned 146 Portland Ave since 1975. You people know me. Why are you pretending you don’t?

I’m the feral child who lived in a cage in a woodshed from the time I was 8 until I was 31. Did you all forget that? Etiole was the local homeless man who used to break into the woodshed and break the lock off the cage and take me out into the swamp to hide me from my bastard uncles. Did you forget that too? The ONLY reason any of you spread your fucking rumours and lies about me and Etiole, calling me a witch and Etiole a demon or alien, and spreading lies about me building houses, is because my Uncle Bruce and his Heaven’s Gate friends, told you those lies.

Did you forget what Heaven’s Gate is, what they fucking did? They are an UFO Alien Cult, who murdered 39 people with poisoned koolaid, because they comet Hale Bop was God’s fucking mother ship. They see fucking aliens EVERYWHERE. In everything. And THEY are the ones who started the stupid ass rumour of Etiole being an alien.

Look at the SOURCE of the alien abduction rumour. My Uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater. One of George Applewhite’s thugs. George Applewhite, a follower of Jim Jones, that’s WHY they killed everyone with kool-aid, because they were fans of Jim Jones, and they wanted to jump onboard God’s mothership like Jonestown did! Did you forget that? THAT fucking lunatic, a fan of Jim Jones, who worked for George Applewhite, called Etiole an alien, because Bruce CALLED EVERYONE aliens.

Bruce locked me in a cage, and Etiole broke me out of it and hide me in the swamps, and THAT is what Bruce called an alien abduction. But Etiole is no alien. He’s just a local homeless man. Etiole’s not even his name. I don’t tell anyone his name to protect him from you fucking jackasses who are too stupid to believe he’s just a normal man. My uncle Buce is a fucking lunatic who spends 24 hours a day gibbering madness and nonsense about aliens and demons.

As for the garbage that keeps being dumped on my land… you have all SEEN the big green dump truck with the black and silver striped nose, that illegally trespasses on my land and dumps that fucking garbage.

Open your eyes and look around. You can SEE the truth. The house being built is at 144 Portland Ave NOT 146. You can SEE that, now that the house is up.

Like I’ve been saying right along, it is NOT me building a house. It NEVER has been. I don’t know why you let that idiot try to gaslight you with lies about me building a house, when you can SEE the house is NOT going up on MY land. It’s going up on my NEIGHBOUR’S land.

I know you people are NOT THAT stupid. The white-haired man with the green pickup truck is LYING to you, and you can SEE that for yourselves, just by looking at WHICH property the house is being built on.

Look around... does it LOOK like there is a house being built at 146 Portland Ave where the pink motorhome is? Use your brain and open your eyes. See the truth. The truth will set you free.

Now look next door to 144, you CAN SEE that THEY NOT ME are the one building a house, now that it’s almost finished.

I’d say the white-haired man in the green pickup truck has a lot of explaining to do, like explaining WHY h’s hell bent on trying to convince the town I’m the one putting up a house, when I’ve never even applied for a building permit. Building permits are public record. Go look at the town hall for yourself.

Also, please explain to me HOW the white-haired man with the green pick truck has such very detailed info about the murder of my family, when the records are sealed, not public access, and about 90% of the details were withheld from the public and are know ONLY to myself, the murderer, the police, and FBI? There is ZERO public access to the stuff h is saying happened on April 10, 2015... you know that, right? So HOW did he get the info he has? Explain THAT.

please report any future such emails you receive to FBI agent Andy Drewer 207-774-9322

>>>I’m just more cowardly than they are and I’m afraid of the truth and criticism. In your opinion, what makes someone mean?

When I think of mean, I think of my uncles. 3 in particular. My mother had 12 older brothers and 3 of them all claimed to be “king” (we are Gypsies, Gypsy Kings are a thing). And they fought over it badly. They ended up jointly ruling over the clan, each competing with each other to out-king the other, each doing progressively meaner things to the clan members, especially the female children.

Things they did, just to me, included:

When I was 4 Uncle Bruce stabbed me with a foundation nail - an iron rod over 2 feet long - he drove into my hip, through my pelvis and out my other thigh. I have been crippled and walked with a cane since I was a toddler, because of it. His reason? I was unable to memorize the entirety of chapter 1 of the book of Genesis.

When I was 8 years old, same uncle locked me in a cage that was made for trapping raccoons. He gave me 1 salted herring fish to eat once every 12 days. He let me out only on Sundays to go to church. I lived in that cage for 27 years, until the Heaven’s Gate FBI raid shut down Heaven’s Gate in 1997, after they killed 39 people with Kool-aid. Yes, I am THAT EelKat, the child who lived in a cage, the feral child you see pictures of in almost every college Psychology book. I am the child who survived Heaven’s Gate because I was locked in a cage in a woodshed when they drank their kool aid under the shadow of comet HaleBop. I was 31 years old when the FBI raid rescued me from that cage.

When I was 14 years old, because I was unable to recite from memory the entire book, all chapters of Ecclesiastes, that same uncle beat me in the face with a cinder block brick, breaking my jaw, and cause me to be “mute” until had surgery to fix my jaw when I was 42 years old. From the time I was 14 until 42, I was unable to speak due to the damage of my jaw.

In those 27 years from age 8 to age 31, I was let out of the cage every Sunday to be taken to church and sold or $12k to the priests, who raped me repeatedly, weekly, for 27 years.

While my uncle helped Applewhite to run Heaven’s Gate, he fled the night of Hale Bop. He did not kill himself with everyone else.

Social workers took me after the FBI raid. It took them years to teach me how to not be terrified by the sight of Humans. They say I suffer from having no outward sign of emotions, and that it was caused by my never having experienced a single good event in my early life.

At the time of the FBI raid at 144, 146, and 148 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, I was one of more than 120 girls the FBI rescued out of cages. All of whom had been raped hundreds of times by priests from Cape Elizabeth, Saco, and Sanford wards of the LDS/Mormon church. Including 16 bishops, an OOB town manager, and several OOB motel owners, all of whom were in the habit of paying $12k to rape girls under the age of 10 years old.

The man with the green truck, who likes to spread rumours about me and Etiole and my house, was one of Bruce’s top customers. He had a thing for numbers and raped 7-year-olds, 14-year-olds, and 21-year-olds because he was obsessed with doing everything in 7s.

After years of social workers teaching me how to live with normal, not abusive Humans. I was 37 when I got my GED and while I was at the high school doing that, those uncles built a grease fryer bomb burned my house down to punish me for getting a GED.

2 years later, while I was in college taking classes to learn grammar and writing, three of them, that same uncle and 2 women I had never seen before, arrived at the college armed with golf clubs and attacked me when I was coming out of the college. I was 8 months pregnant at the time. They killed my baby, broke my spine, broke my hip, broke my pelvis, broke my knees. I was paralyzed for 5 months. It took me 18 months to get out of the wheelchair and relearn to walk, and to this day I am still crippled.

That’s the price I paid to learn how to read and write, in a culture that believes it is okay to execute women who commit the sin of learning how to write.

August 8, 2013, that same uncle paid a local construction worker $600 to drive a backhoe over my house.

April 10, 2015, that same uncle and a group of 74 members of the new reorganized Heaven’s Gate, attacked my farm. 14 men held me down with guns to my head, while the others used hand band saws to kill and behead 10 of my 12 children and then nailed their heads to my door.

And it’s very easy to Google the news reports and photos of all of it.

That is what I think of when I hear the word “mean”. My uncle Bruce was a very mean person.

My uncle Bruce Mervin Atwater is a monster. And he calls EVERYONE an alien abductee or a demon. Did you fucking forget that?

No, I have no updates on Etiole.

He was shot by a local lunatic.

No, he’s not okay.

And I am getting sick of this fucking ass rumour of Etiole being an alien or a demon.

The fact of Etiole being an alien is a stupid urban myth started by some crazy ass locals.

The fact of Etiole being a demon is a stupid urban legend created by some religion crazed nuts.

Etiole is an old man covered with acid burns. His skin is white and face disfigured from acid burns. He’s not an alien, and he’s not a demon. And you people who call him an alien and call him a demon, you’re all fucking crazy.

Etiole is a homeless Jewish man who has no skin because they tortured him in a Nazi concentration camp in France during WW2. He came to Maine in 1953 with a bunch of other refugees. He has posttraumatic stress disorder really bad and he’s terrified of people. He can’t function in normal society, so hides in the forests. He’s not an alien, he’s not a demon, he’s not a cryptid. He’s a disfigured old man, now in late 90s. He barely get around. He doesn’t you people harassing him like this. Why can’t you people leave him alone? Why are you all so damned desperate to believe in aliens or demons that you have to harass a helpless old man? Leave him alone. Why can’t you leave him alone? What is wrong with you people?

Read The Amphibious Aliens article, where back in 2007, I DEBUNKED every one of you stupid ass alien, cryptic, demon, and haunted car rumours. Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World’s Most Haunted Car, goes over every even from the 1970s, that started the fucking rumour, and lists off how every alien, demon, and haunted car rumour was proven to be nothing but a hoax started by Mervin Bruce Atwater. Every single one of those rumours was started by that one man, and were proven to ALL be hoaxes he perpetrated to try to get money out of Dr Larochelle, the man who hit Mervin’s younger sister with a car. They tried to convince the old doctor his car had a demon living in it and they scammed the doctor out of $20,000 back in the 1970s. THAT is how and why the demon car rumour got started. I bought the car in 1975. Etiole started living in it in 1978. And that is how me and Etiole got dragged into the fucking ass rumours about a demon car.

The article Amphibious Aliens The Story of Etiole and The World’s Most Haunted Car DEBUNKS ALL of the alien, cryptid, demon, and haunted car rumours. Every last one of them.

The car is not haunted and Etiole is not a demon.

You people who believe my car is haunted or think that Etiole is a demon, you are all fucking retarded.

You are slandering me!

You are slandering Etiole!

You are slandering my cars!

I’m sick of it!

Grow up and go get a damned fucking brain!

I’m sick of you people harassing me and Etiole over stupid shit started by brain dead idiots.

And the same goes for the so-called World’s Most Haunted Car. That rumour was started by the same person. That car was proved years ago, to have a mechanical issue that caused it to start and drive ahead until it hit something. No one ever thought to look at the starter. I’m the 3rd owner of the car. I changed the malfunctioning starter and a so called ‘haunted” stuff the car did, went away. It was a problem with the starter, only that and nothing more.

And these people in Biddeford right now, getting you all worked up - if you hadn’t noticed they ARE Mervin Bruce Atwater’s family.

So it’s STILL the same one fucking person running around getting things stirred up. The Atwaters. My fucking uncles. Like usual.

Yesterday at Rotary Park, Biddeford, Maine, a group of people armed with rifles, went down the track team trail behind the soccer field and started shooting... scared the crap out of the 50 or so children and their 100+ parents, got the 30+ dogs in the dog park howling... the sky filled with thousands of Canadian geese, and the park goers assumed the group was hunting geese and started commenting on the fact that hunting was not allowed in Rotary Park.

A few minutes later, a grey/white haired, bearded man, who looks a lot like Kenny Rogers, but not as fat, with a black dog of a German Shepard-Lab mix look, and a woman with pageboy greyish-blond hair, both about late 60s, marched up to me in the park, bragged they had killed Etiole, stating that he has caused their son whom they called “Todd” to jump in front of a train 3 days earlier.

You know what, I knew that homeless man and HE never mentioned it.

You people are just looking for someone to blame, and think because I’m not white, I wear a hijab, and I have a mural painting on my car, you think you are justified on pointing blame at me for something I had no part in.

That homeless man was obsessed with the fact that his dog and son had been taken away from him.

It’s NOT the evil eye as they called it. It’s The eye of The Grigori Archangels aka The Watchers, from the Apocrypha in the Bible. It’s the blue wings of the Seraphim Archangels aka The Watchers. The Watchers are my Guardian angels. I paint them on everything, I sew it on tapestries, it’s on my car, my motorhome, I embroider it on pillows and clothes, paint it on mirrors, paint canvases art for art galleries with it. It’s the blue eyes wings of the archangels as described in the Bible. I’m not sure why they were calling it the Evil Eye.

It’s the Eye of God, the hamsa. A Jewish protection symbol. Etiole’s Jewish, he draws it on everything, so that’s why I do as well.

I’m sick of you jackasses spreading you wild ass rumours about me.

You’re nothing but a bunch of trouble making busy bodies who can’t mind your own fucking business.

I’m not bothering a single damned one of you, so why the fuck are you bothering me?

Why can’t you stupid ass people leave me alone?

There is no reason for a damned one of you to be in my yard.

There is no reason for a damned one of you to be chasing down Etiole.

There is no reason for a damned one of you to be having psychotic meltdowns over my car!

What is wrong with you people?

Fucking brain dead herd mentality that’s all this is.

One of you ran around screaming like a lunatic and rest of you all decided to join in.

But I also ask... WHY would you be scared of me or Etiole? It makes me ask who has been feeding you lies about me? Who has been feeding you lies about Etiole?

I am a crippled elderly woman. I can barely stand up. I’ve been paralyzed and bedridden since the golf club attack November 14, 2013. I’m only just now in 2021 just starting to walk again, and I can barely do that. I have no grip strength so I struggle to even hold me cane. The golf clubs damaged my spine, my nerves, most of my organs don’t function because of the nerve damage to my spine. I struggle to even breath, just sitting up in bed is enough to collapse my lungs. I have no bladder or bowel movement control, I have to wear diapers. What exactly is it you think I can even do?

And Etiole? The old hermit Nazi concentration camp survivor? He’s over 100 years old now, he hasn’t been able to walk, or sit up, or eat on his own, in almost 20 years. He’s dying. What exactly are you expecting him to do?

Etiole is NOT an alien.

Etiole is not a demon.

I am not a witch.

None of my cars are haunted.

I’ve been saying it for years. Why won’t you listen to me?

You are slandering me!

You are slandering Etiole!

You are slandering my cars!

I’m sick of it!

Grow up and go get a damned fucking brain!

I’m sick of you calling Etiole a demon.

I’m sick of you calling Etiole an alien.

I’m sick of you calling me a witch.

I’m sick of you saying one car after another is haunted.

This whole thing boils down to your fucking white privilege. You know that right?

Your white ass can’t stand the fact that we non-white Gypsies live here, so you have to make up stupid ass supernatural spooky shit about us.

You don’t like that I wear the traditional dress of my people instead of dressing like an American, so you feel justified in calling me a witch and making up spook occult lies about me.

I wear hijab and veils and caftan and silk and it bother’s you that I’m not scum diving in trashy t shirts and jeans like the rest of you.

I paint my cars, same as we painted our wagons and vardos for centuries, and it bothers you because it looks different.

Etiole is a Jew, and your anti-Semite white privilege kicks in to hate him for being born Jewish.

Etiole has scars, so you’re scared of him

I’m different.

Etiole’s different.

My cars are different.

And when you get right down to it, that’s ALL any of this is about.

Me, Etiole, and my cars don’t fit in with your fucking ass white privileged ideas of “normal” and that makes you uncomfortable and you try to make the uncomfortable go away by dehumanizing us with your stupid ass rumours.

There are no witches.

There are no aliens.

There are no demons.

There are just a bunch of whinny ass white privileged brats running around making trouble for anyone who’s not white enough for them.

Grow the fuck up!

What is wrong with Quaraun?

Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow
(On Writing A Clinically Insane Character Accurately, While Avoiding The Psychopath Stereotype)



EelKat Wendy C Allen as Quaraun the Insane

(Update: July 8, 2017) As This Article Has Now Crossed 50,000 Words and Will Take You Up To 8 Hours To Read... I am Now Dividing It Up Into A Series of Smaller Pages
This Page You Are Reading Now, Is Part 1

If you have not read the any other pages of this series yet...

  • #1: I have Autism. Not Aspergers. Not Autism Spectrum Disorder. But ACTUAL Autism, which is vastly different from either Aspergers or Autism Spectrum Disorder.
  • #2: I am an author, who writes an Autistic character who's Autism is based off of my own Autism symptoms, and whose life is loosely based off actual events from my own life.
  • #3: I am writing this article series because another writer requested it, because they were seeking to write an Autistic (not Asperger) character, but could not find much information online about ACTUAL Autism aka Kanner's Syndrome.

If you've never read the Quaraun series, some things you should probably be aware of when reading the novel excerpts found on this page:

  • #1: The Quaraun series is listed as the following genres: Yaoi, Bizarro, Dark Fantasy, Sword & Sorcery, High Fantasy, Epic Fantasy, Psychological Horror
  • #2: Quaraun is not Human. He is an Elf and as such, is physically able to live though things/not be harmed by things that would normally kill a Human.
  • #5: While the Autism components of his character are portrayed accurately, he also suffers from a FICTIONAL, illness as well, which was created based off of a combination of Naegleria fowleri, Kuru, & Mad Cow Disease, 3 very rare real world illnesses that cause insanity. In the books this FICTIONAL illness is called "Thullid Infestation" and is what Quaraun is referencing when he says such things as "There's a Jelly Fish in my head" or "A Jelly Fish ate my brain". (Yes, one's brain being eating by a tiny jelly bodied parasite is a real thing that can actually happen to you, Google "Naegleria fowleri" to find out more about it.)

I get very annoyed by writers who use mental illness as a plot devise...

I get very annoyed by writers who use mental illness as a plot devise, especially when it becomes clear that they know nothing of the illness they are writing about, have clearly never lived with it, have no clues the every day challenges a person faces by living with it, and obviously did little to no research into it, basing everything the character does off something they saw in a movie and assumed the movie must have got it right.


In case you are wondering, this is me:

That picture is from PortCon 2017.

A friend was there and he saw me... came over and said:

"I thought you were gonna be in costume, what you doing wearing your every day clothes?"

Yes. I do dress like this every day.

Here, these are also me, NOT at PortCon, just doing my every day things around town...

I am OtherKin. ElvenKin to be specific. Since February 4, 1987, I have lived every day of my life as a male transvestite Elf. 

Why?

Because I have Autism and OCD and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder, and this is who I am... all day, every day, for decades.

My mental illnesses don't go away, for the connivance of plot points in my life. They do not show up only when I need them, to use to advance the story of my life. They are there 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. 12 months a year. Every years, since the day I was born.

Of course, one of the problems I have to live with is the fact that people don't know Autism is not a mental illness.

Yeah. Did you know that?

A mental illness is something you are NOT born with. Autism is something you are born with.

We'll get into that in a minute though.

Why do authors think, they can have characters act normal until all a sudden a plot changes and requires them to "act crazy" and so suddenly they are acting crazy, then plot device is over and they act normal again? Mental illness ain't like that, you can't turn it on and off whenever the plot needs it.

I am a female who lives as male who lives as a female. It confuses people quite a lot, but it is what it is.

I do not claim to be normal. I do not try to be normal. I am what I am. And because of what I am, I am faced with daily bullying, teasing, and bigotry.

Everywhere I turn there's a new book misusing yet another mental illness. I hate how characters act normal until all a sudden a plot changes requires them to "act crazy" so suddenly they are acting crazy, then the plot device over and they act normal again.

Mental illness ain't like that, you can't turn it on and off whenever the plot needs it. 

Writers rarely get it right. And would like to see that changed.

People always ask me about my main character, from current series "Quaraun the Insane" asking, what is wrong with him? What mental illness does he have? How did you research it? How do you know what to write?

My answer?

I write what I know.

Quaraun acts like me, talks like me, dresses like me, and the bullies in the books? They do to Quaraun, what real life bullies have done to me.

Quaraun was crippled by bullies and now walks on a cane after months paralyzed and months relearning to walk, because I was crippled by bullies and now walk on a cane after months paralyzed and months relearning to walk.

Quaraun has Autism and OCD and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder, because I have Autism and OCD and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder.

I write Quaraun as he is, because this is who I am... all day, every day, for decades.

I write what I know.

If you want to know how to write a mental illness, go to the source. Find someone who has the illness you want to write, Interview them. Talk to them. Spend several days living with them. Find out what their every day life is life. Don't write stereotypes - write the truth.

Because people have asked me to write up a "how to" on how to write a "clinically insane character like Quaraun", I have written this page, to tell you how it is, I write him.

Advertisement: Best Buy Co, Inc.

What is wrong with Quaraun? (On Writing A Clinically Insane Character Accurately, While Avoiding The Psychopath Stereotype)

There is for some odd reason, which completely baffles me, a common misconception that Quaraun is "insane" because he is a transvestite. I am uncertain as to why many readers come to this conclusion, but I must say it speaks volumes for their own views and perceptions of transgender people if a reader looks at a transgender character and thinks:

  • transgender = insane

If you think transgender = insane, it tells me, that you have a warped perception of transgender people and need to do some re-evaluating of the bigoted way in which you view those around you.

No.

Quaraun's insanity has nothing to do with his being a transvestite.

If you had ever paid attention to any of the other 100+ novels I wrote before the Quaraun series you would have noticed that pretty much everything I write features a transvestite main character and of all of them, only Quaraun suffers from serious mental disorders.

So, what is Quaraun?

So, what is Quaraun?

  • #1: Quaraun has Autism. ACTUAL Autism, which is also known as "idiot savant" and is in no way, shape, or form related to Asperger's which while have some over lapping symptoms has some marked glaring differences as well. Keeping in mind that Autism (proper name: Kanner's Syndrome) is very RARE, effecting only 1 in every 10,000 children, while Asperger's is very common effecting 1 in 3 children, and Autism Spectrum Disorder is also very common at a rate of 1 in 64 children.

  • #2: Quaraun has SchizoEffective Personality Disorder, which is similar to, but is not Schizophrenia.

  • #3: Quaraun has a demonic, alien jelly fish from outer space living inside his brain, after she burrowed a hole in his skull to get there. Quaraun is slowly going insane, in a madness similar to mad cow disease, caused by the holes the tiny parasitic jellyfish is eating in his brain tissue. (This is based off a very real creature, the Naegleria fowleri, also known as the "brain-eating amoeba" that can in fact swim up your nose, attach itself to your brain, and slowly cause insanity by eating your brain tissue.)

(Side note... because it has been asked that I write a page that details more information on what specifically it it like to be savant, I am writing a "Part 3" to this page [Part 2 is here]. Part 3 will go into more detail about my very early childhood and how it was it was discovered I was savant. I'll add the link HERE once that page is finished ~ note added July 4, 2017)

Speech is very difficult for me. My verbal words are desperately slurred and stuttered and go from either way too fast or way too slow. Most times I know what I want to say, but the words that come out of my mouth are mixed up and in the wrong order so sound like nonsense. Folks often consider me "dumb" due to my being near-mute and desperate lack of getting words out in the correct order. I write 7k words a day just as part of my daily non-verbal speech. That is how I am able to pound out 15k words every day.

It is very frustrating when I want to talk to someone and they pat me on the head and say something like: "It's okay, here have a candy. Poor thing she can't understand us at all."

Quaraun speaks in the same quasi-non-verbal muddled up speech I do. Quaraun's dialogue is a blundered mess because my verbally spoken dialogue is an embarrassingly blundered mess.

Quaraun can not count or do math, because I can not count or do math.

Quaraun requires caretakers, because I require caretakers.

Quaraun is very shy and self conscious and terrified of how others will respond to his lack of ability to speak verbally in any real coherent manner, because I am very shy and self conscious and terrified of how others will respond to my lack of ability to speak verbally in any real coherent manner.

Quaraun wears long flowing, bright colored, gaudy, heavily beaded and embroidered silk robes, because I wear long flowing, bright colored, gaudy, heavily beaded and embroidered silk robes.

The nightmare world of hate mongers, bigots, and vicious violent bullies who cripple and maim him, that Quaraun lives in every story, is the nightmare world of hate mongers, bigots, and vicious violent bullies who cripple and maim me, that I live in, every day.

Quaraun has near-mutism Autism, because I have near-mutism Autism.

Quaraun suffers night terrors, panic attacks and other things caused by PTSD, because I suffer night terrors, panic attacks and other things caused by PTSD.

Are you starting to see a pattern here?

I write what I know. And I know Autism, Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder, PTSD, and Agoraphobia very well. I don't do any research into anything to write about Quaraun, I just write the world the way I see it. I can't write a "normal" character because I don't know what it is like to be a "normal" person.

The world as the reader sees it through Quaraun's eyes...that is the world as seen through my eyes. Quaraun is an accurate portrayal of someone with Autism, Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder, PTSD, and Agoraphobia, because he is written by someone with Autism, Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder, PTSD, and Agoraphobia. I know how Quaraun would react to things, because it is how I do react to things.

Writers who write accurately, write accurately because they write what they know. I'm not trying to write about something I am not familiar with. I don't go out of my way to TRY to make Quaraun seem like a person Autism, Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder, PTSD, and Agoraphobia. I'm not trying to write about a disorder.  I simply write the world the way I see the world and use him as the representative of that POV.

Writing an Autistic Character Accurately

Something people rarely consider is that in the 1400s, the disease now called Autism, was at the time called "insanity". For more then 700 centuries, when a person said "he's insane" what they meant was "he has autism".

Autism continued to be used interchangeable with the word "insanity" into the 1950s.

Quaraun lives in the 1400s. When people call him "insane" they are referring the the fact that he has autism, which was not yet called autism. It is historically accurate for characters in the 1400s to classify an autistic person as insane as this was the correct terminology.

Also interestingly, the disease we now call Asperger's, used to be refereed to as "childhood schizophrenia".

Both Insanity (Autism) and Childhood Schizophrenia (Asperger's) were treated with locking the person in cast iron restraints (called Faerie iron) and burning them with hot irons to "drive the Faerie Changling out of them". In more resent history Insanity (Autism) and Childhood Schizophrenia (Asperger's) were treated with the lobotomy.

Another interesting fact is what people call "the autism boom" claiming that there are more children born with autism in recent years. Actually, there are FEWER children born with autism, since the 1970s. Though there is a reason you see autistics and Asperger's people more often in recent years. From the 1600's until the 1980s Autistics and Asperger's were institutionalized in mental institutes, often without their parents consent or permission. In 1987 laws were passed making it illegal for mental institutes to take Autistic and Asperger children away from their families, and thus throughout the 1990s onward you see a "boom" of autistic and asperger children in public, simply because they are no longer locked away from public eye.

In any case, Quaraun is called by other people "Quaraun the Insane" because he has Autism, and in the 1400s the terms "autism", "autistic", or "special needs" did not exist, and it was a medical and historically correct diagnose for an autistic person to be diagnoses as "insane" if they had autism.

What is Autism?
How Are Autism, Aspergers,
and Self-Diagnosed Asperger's Different?

I get very annoyed by writers who use mental illness as a plot devise, especially when it becomes clear that they know nothing of the illness they are writing about, have clearly never lived with it, have no clues the every day challenges a person faces by living with it, and obviously did little to no research into it, basing everything the character does off something they saw in a movie and assumed the movie must have got it right.

....

On this page we are going to look at what happens, when a character with a mental illness, becomes very, very, very famous...

His name is Sheldon Cooper and he has Asperger's. And in the show Big Bang Theory, his Aspergers is portrayed correctly... to some extent...

however his Aspergers is FICTIONAL.... it's not real... and yet...

in 3 children,

now have this

FICTIONAL

made up form of Asperger's

in what may be the largest and most bizarre heard mentality phenomena to ever hit America

...

Since the arrival of the Big Bang Theory, 9 years ago, something very strange happened in the real world medical community...

...a brand new mental health illness arrived almost over night and hit pediatricians everywere by storm...

The name of the strange new illness?

"Self Diagnosed Asperger's" which is vastly different from actual, real Aspergers.

Self Diagnosed Aspergers is a bizarre illness that has a few of the symptoms of Autism, a few symptoms of Asperger's, and shit ton load of one illness... the real illness, that it really is... it's based entirly off a fictional character (Sheldon Cooper) and one author's fictional translation of what Aspergers is in the world of The Big Bang Theory.

Self-Diagnosed Aspergers is NOT the same as Asperger's Syndrome, as you soon shall see. It is a very unique illness... and imaginary illness, invented by fans of Sheldon Cooper, and spread like wildfire across America, infecting a whooping 1 in 3 children.

Let's now take a look at this bizarre phenomena, known in the medical world as "The Mysterious Autism boom"...

Some interesting facts:

  • Autism (Kanner's Syndrome) is very RARE, effecting only 1 in every 10,000 children
  • Self diagnosed Asperger's is very COMMON with 1 in 3 children self-diagnosed
  • ACTUAL Asperger's is rarer then people think however as only 1 in 400 children who actually have a doctor's diagnose
  • More then 40% of teens with self-diagnosed Aspergers,when asked why they decided to self diagnose themselves as having Asperger's admitted to only diagnosing themselves as Aspies in order to be more like their hero Sheldon Cooper, 

  • and could not list what the actual symptoms of Asperger's were, as they ONLY knew the "symptoms" as show on the TV show and had never researched to find out what Asperger's really was.

 (children aged 12 to 18 who self-diagnosed themselves with a serious crippling mental illness, that doctors take 12 years of Abnormal Psychology college classes to learn how to recognize) 

  • More then 60% of parents who self-diagnosed  their children as having Aspergers, admitted to being fans of Sheldon Cooper and said they hoped that by "self diagnosing" their children as Aspies, it would make them aspire to be more like Sheldon Cooper and become famous noble prize winning physicists.

  • and could not list what the actual symptoms of Asperger's were, as they ONLY knew the "symptoms" as show on the TV show and had never researched to find out what Asperger's really was.

(very young parents, themselves only children aged 16 to 24 - who self-diagnosed their children with a serious crippling mental illness, that doctors take 12 years of Abnormal Psychology college classes to learn how to recognize- without knowing what it actually was, simply because they were a fan of a fictional character who had a MADE UP FICTIONAL version of a seriously debilitating disease.)


"They say sociopaths are dangerous because they know the subtleties of social interaction better than most people and they use this knowledge to use and exploit people. Well, it seems to me people with Asperger's are the opposite of sociopaths." 

— Alexei Maxim Russell 

There is one thing more frightening then the trend of children self-diagnosing themselves with serious mental illnesses...

and that's the fact that they are ALSO making up "new" symptoms, and using these FAKE "Aspie symptoms" as excuses to commit horrific crimes: including dissecting their sibling's pets, building bombs to blow up their neighbors houses, and stealing guns for school shootings...

Did you know that EVERY case of a school shooting in the United States was done by a child who had self diagnosed as an Aspie?

But did you also know that someone with ACTUAL Aspergers, lacks the part of the brain that triggers anger and violence? And like Autistics, REAL Aspies, are completely and totally docile, non-violent, and it is almost impossible to get either Autistics or Aspies angry and are NOT CAPABLE of committing the horrific violent hate crimes that are being done by self diagnosed Aspies?

Self-diagnosed Asperger's ranks uncommon the most dangerous, most violent, and most sociopathic illness in history, and yet, self-diagnosed Asperger's is a fictional illness that did not exist prior to the invention of the fictional character Sheldon Cooper from the fictional TV show Big Bang Theory.

Here are two very important numbers to look at:

#1: 80% of all self-diagnosed Aspies will commit violent crimes, more then half of those crimes will be murder.

#2: 80% of all self-diagnosed Aspies have mis-diagnosed themselves and do not have Asperger's at all.

Did you see it?

No?

Let's repeat it and see if you see it the next time around?

  • #1: 80% of all self-diagnosed Aspies will commit violent crimes, more then half of those crimes will be murder.
  • #2: 80% of all self-diagnosed Aspies have mis-diagnosed themselves and do not have Asperger's at all.

Still missing it? Let's show you it a third time, see if you see it yet...

#1: 80% of all self-diagnosed Aspies will commit violent crimes, more then half of those crimes will be murder.

#2: 80% of all self-diagnosed Aspies have mis-diagnosed themselves and do not have Asperger's at all.

Funny how the amount of Asperger's patents who commit violent crimes is the EXACT SAME amount who are also not actual Aspies, isn't it.

You know there's a reason for that right?

The list below, is a list complied, by interviewing, children who had self diagnosed themselves with Asperger's... or the very young (14 to 24) teen parents whom had self diagnosed their children. When asked what are the symptoms of Asperger's and how do they compare with Autism... these are the answers they gave...

THE LIST HAS BEEN MOVED TO IT'S OWN PAGE (see reason below)




This section got waaaaay too long, resulting in the page was having difficulty loading for people with slow connections, so, I cut this section out of this page and made it into it's own page, right HERE.

So when you have finished reading this page, it now has a Part 2: On Writing Autistic Characters Accurately: Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis


If You Are Going To Write An Autistic Character...
Then Write An Autistic Character,
NOT Someone With Self-Diagnosed Aspergers
Self-Diagnosed Aspergers Is NOT Autism
It is Aspergers either.
It is a FICTIONAL disease, created by fans of Sheldon Cooper.
Know The Difference.


Of course, one of the problems I have to live with is the fact that people don't know Autism is not just a mental illness.

Yeah. Did you know that?

A mental illness is something you are NOT born with. Autism is something you are born with.

A mental illness is something you GET, just like chicken pox or any other disease. Because you are born with a genetic disorder disorder, disorders are not thing you can catch or spread to other people.

You don't get Autism from mercury or vaccines... you can only GET Autism from your parents having a messed up gene pool.

A mental illness is something you can CURE, because metal illness it is a disease, just like cancer. Autism is a genetic disorder that you inherit from your parents. If you have Autism, it's because one of your parents carried the gene.

Autism is a birth defect... just like being born with only one arm, their is no way to grow the missing parts of your brain. Just like there is no medication to make you regrow and thus cure that missing limb, there is no medication that can regrow the brain cells I was never born with.

On the other hand Aspergers IS a mental illness. You are NOT born with Aspergers. You do not GET Aspergers until late childhood or early teens or even as an adult.

The biggest difference between Autism and Aspergers is the onset and the cause.

Both Autism and Asperger's are listed in medical books as a "Psychosis".

Autism you are born with. It is a birth defect of your brain, that is triggered by stress.

Asperger's is a stress induced mental illness, that children and teens get.

Autism is a lifelong chronic illness that never goes away and has no cure or treatments.

Asperger's can be lessened and in some cases cured, by changes in diet, changes in daily habits, etc. Asperger's has treatments.

Aspergers has many of the same symptoms as Autism, because parts of the brain become damaged in a person with Aspergers, they are the same parts of the brain that people with Autism are not born with.

The goal of this page is not to look at the detail of what is Autism vs what is Aspergers, but rather instead, to look at how to write an Autistic character in your novel and have them act and behavive accuratly to how an autistic person realy acts in real life.

If you are seeking details on the hows and whys and differences between Autism and Aspergers, I have provided a list of more then 100 websites of organizations, foundations, and other medical type places, where you can find actual medical facts and statistics about Autism and Aspergers, the causes, variations, types, etc.

The focus of this page is instead too look at what are the typical personal habits of typical people who have Autism (but not the typical habits of people who have Aspergers, as Aspergers is markedly different from Autism in many dramatic ways.)

To do this we are going to compare my real every day life (I have Autism) with the fictional every day life of my main character Quaraun (who also has Autism) whos character and habits are based off my own daily habits.


Again, please remember that Quaraun has Autism NOT Asperger's.

It is very annoying for me both as an author and a person who has autism, to constantly be faced with asperger's people running up to me and "I have autism too, YAY! Isn't it great?"

I'm sorry, no, it's not great to be allergic to pretty much everything, to suffer bowel disorders and bladder disorders, to never know what anyone is talking about, or to be 50 years old and still require adult supervision.

Yes, all of those things are symptoms of autism.

No, none of those things are symptoms of asperger's.

ACTUAL Autism, which is also known as "idiot savant" and is in no way, shape, or form related to Asperger's. I'm sorry, but it's not. Go read a medical journal, you know one actually written by a doctor, as opposed to a newsletter written by a vaccine hating conspiracy theorist.

Like me Quaraun has an actual medical diagnosis of clinical autism, not some tootie fruitie, I wanna be special so I'll call myself an aspie self-diagnosis.

There are more then 50 diseases, illnesses, and disorders, which are similar to Autism.

It is not unusual for Autism (Kanner's Syndrome aka Actual Autism) to be confused with 50+ other illnesses (see list below) due to their having overlapping symptoms.

Keeping in mind that:

  • Autism (Kanner's Syndrome) is very RARE, effecting only 1 in every 10,000 children
  • Asperger's is very COMMON with 1 in 3 children self-diagnosed
  • Asperger's is rarer then people think however as only 1 in 400 children who actually have a doctor's diagnose
  • 1 in every 68 children have Autism Spectrum Disorder
  • 80% of children with self-diagnosed Aspergers have misdiagnosed themselves or been misdiagnosed by parents in denial
  • 30% of all parents of children diagnosed with Schizophrenia, will attempt to hide the doctor's actual diagnosis, by telling their family, friends, and the child himself, that the child has Asperger's because Asperger's is more socially acceptable then Schizophrenia
  • 80% of ADULTS with self-diagnosed Aspergers have misdiagnosed themselves and instead have Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  • More then 40% of teens with self-diagnosed Aspergers, admit to only diagnosing themselves as Aspies in order to be more like their hero Sheldon Cooper, and could not list what the actual symptoms of Asperger's were.


Keep in mind that MOST of what you find posted on the internet as "Symptoms of Asperger's" is written by self-diagnosed Aspies, and is VASTLY different from what the ACTUAL, clinical symptoms are.



Think you know what it's like to live with Autism?

You might be surprised how little you really know.

A look at REAL Autism and the myth spread by those with a self-diagnosis.


Are You Sure You Know What Autism Is?

Did you know?

ACTUAL Autism (Kanner's Syndrome) is very RARE, effecting only 1 in every 10,000 children


Self diagnosed Asperger's is very COMMON with 1 in 3 children self-diagnosed


ACTUAL Asperger's is rarer then people think however as only 1 in 400 children who actually have a doctor's diagnose


1 in 64 children are diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, which means they DO NOT have Autism


Autism Spectrum Disorder means "an illness that is commonly misdiagnosed as Autism, but is not Autism."


Only 1 in every 10,000 people are ACTUALLY Autistic 


Only 1 in every 17,000 people will ever encounter a REAL ACTUALLY Autistic person in their lifetime


1 in every 8 Autistic people will be murdered before the age of 25


1 in every 7 Autistic people will commit suicide because of a bully


1 in every 2 Autistic people will die by the age of 45


40% of self-diagnosed Asperger children between the ages of 12 and 18, admit they only claimed to have Aspergers "to be more like Sheldon Cooper" and could not name any symptoms of Aspergers other then: "high IQ, reads comic books, and is socially awkward"


60% of all parents who self diagnosed their children have stated they hoped that by "convincing" their child they had Aspergers, they would "aspire to be more like Sheldon Cooper"; these people could not list the symptoms of Aspergers and simple stated it meant "being a genius".


More then 60% of mothers who self diagnose their children have Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy and the child turns out to have NO disorder AT ALL and is just a normal healthy child who is victim to a Hypochondriac mother, who gains attention from other mothers by pretending her child has the same illness as the mother she is trying to compete with.


80% of All People Claiming To Be "Autistic Aspies" do not have either Aspergers or Autism and are shocked when they learn that Aspergers is NOT a "type" of Autism.


The saddest part is that self-diagnosed Aspergers rose 6,000% the same month the TV show Big Bang Theory became "the most popular show on television"


Aspergers is an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Asperger's is NOT a "type" of Autism.


There are more the 60 ASDs including Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Schizophrenia, Threadworm Infestation, and having had a Stroke.


Autism Spectrum Disorder means "an illness that is commonly misdiagnosed as Autism, but is not Autism."


73% of all ACTUALLY Autistic people, will never speak, will never learn to wipe their bum, will eat through a tube never learning how to chew, and will wear neck braces and be wheelchair bound from never learning to hold up their head or walk.


The 27% of Autistic people who can talk and walk and chew their own food, will rarely learn to speak in full sentences, will forever "act like a 4 year old" even into their senior years.


There are no known cases of anyone with ACTUAL  Autism ever becoming fully independent or living on their own. REAL Autistics require caretakers and adult supervision their entire lives.


More then 90% of all Autistic people have a low IQ of under 75. Most are considered "mentally retarded" with IQs below 60.


Fewer then 10% of all Autistics are High Functioning.

High Functioning Autism, means:

"Has an IQ of 75 or more and can speak in phrases longer then 2 or 3 words, being able to communicate verbally in full sentences."


Your child can NOT be diagnosed with Autism, because there is no medical condition called "Autism".

Autism is a slang laymen's term for Kanner's Syndrome, a very rare birth defect caused by genetic mutation.


When a doctor says "Your child may be autistic", they DO NOT mean they are diagnoses your child with Autism.

They mean you child is displaying symptoms of Autism and likely has one of the 60+ ASDs.


If your child has one of the ASDs, this means your child DOES NOT have Autism, but has a disease with similar symptoms to Autism.


Doctors are extremely reluctant to give a diagnoses of Autism. It is one of the single most difficult diagnosis to get from a doctor and requires your child be taken for multiple interviews WITH OUT THE PARENTS in the room. 

If you TRULY believe your child was sexually traumatized before the age of 3 years old (and that is what Autism is) you will have your child undergo a series of hour long interviews ABOUT THEIR SEX LIFE with multiple social workers and psychiatrists.

It requires 3 psychiatrists to agree that the child is suffering from serious early childhood sexual abuse trauma, before they will consider giving a diagnosis of Autism.

An ACTUAL diagnosis of ACTUAL Autism is a very SERIOUS diagnosis that a doctor can not give lightly, as it also requires the doctor to immediately call the police and have the parents arrested for gross child neglect and extreme child sexual abuse.

When a child is diagnosed with REAL Autism, the child is immediately handed over to child protective serves and the parents charged with criminal neglect and abuse.

If your did not receive criminal charges and have your child taken away the same day as the diagnosis, then you DID NOT receive a diagnosis of ACTUAL Autism.


Because Autism has become "a fad", many parents, teachers, and even social workers, are quick to suggest a child be submitted to psychiatric evaluation for Autism, often without knowing what that really means or what the evaluation process involves.

Because the parents are not present during the interviews and the child is instructed to NOT reveal to his parents any of the questions asked by the psychiatrists, few parents or teachers are ever fully aware of the extremely sexual nature of the interview questions that their toddler is being asked to answer.


Doctors actually trained in what REAL Autism ACTUAL is, are very reluctant to submit a young child to the psychological evaluation process because of the highly sexual nature of the questions, which can in fact trigger sexual trauma in a child that was not previously sexually traumatized.

What this means is the evaluation process for Autism, can actually CAUSE Autism in a non-Autistic child.


Many symptoms of ASDs go away over time, either on their own or with changes to medication, diet, and lifestyle.


ACTUAL Autism is a type of mental retardation, and is a severely crippling lifelong condition. It's symptoms do not lesson or go away with time.


If your child is diagnosed with REAL, ACTUAL Autism aka as an Idiot Savant, your doctor will say: "Your child has Kanner's Syndrome", they will NOT say "Your child has Autism"


Symptoms of Kanner's Syndrome are:

  • a profound lack of affect or emotional contact with others
  • an intense wish for sameness in routines
  • muteness or abnormality of speech
  • fascination with manipulating objects
  • high levels of visuo-spatial skills, but major learning difficulties in other areas
  • attractive, alert and intelligent appearance (meaning does not physically look retarded even though they are)
  • mental retardation

Someone with Autism has ALL of the symptoms above and one or more of the symptoms below (and can have all of the symptoms below):

The symptoms do not lesson, change, or go away over time.

Autism is always easily recognized.

Autism is considered rare and uncommon.

Was identified in 1932.

The first known case of Autism was Victor de l'Aveyron, a feral child discovered living in the forest, had grown up without any form of human contact, and never spoke in 1801 by French physician Jean Marc Gaspard Itard.

Prior to the 1970s it was assumed that ALL Autistic children were "feral children" whom had been serverly neglected and or abused and had on some levels raised themselves without the normal guidance of a parent.

Many psychiatrists ACTUALLY TRAINED in diagnosing REAL Autism, even today in 2017 are reluctant to give a diagnoses of Autism to any child that can not also be considered "a Feral Child", thus why ACTUAL Autism diagnosis are so rare.

I am diagnosed as both "A Feral Child" and "Autistic Savant". I grew up in the Ross Forest of Old Orchard Beach with very little Human contact; I was 31 years old before I had what is considered to be any form of "normal interaction with American society." I did not start speaking in full sentences or American English until I was 37 years old, after being trained to do so by a College Professor who was trained in teaching Autistic children to talk.

I was also classified as having suffered the following:

  • Supervisory neglect: characterized by the absence of a parent or guardian. (My mother attended 15 different churches of as many denominations, she spent up to 15 hours a day, up to 5 days a week, in church buildings - I was either left in the care of my sexually abusive uncles/her brothers, or left to hide in the Ross Forest, thus how I came to spend most of my days with the local hermit known as Etiole.)
  • Physical neglect: characterized by the failure to provide the basic physical necessities, such as a safe and clean home; (I often went days between meals, was not allowed to eat at the table, often had to fight 8 large dogs for my food, and was frequently kept locked in a room that had ledge "floor", 1 inch wide spaces between roof boards allowing rain and snow to come in, had boards nailed over the windows, had more then a dozen padlocks on the door, and boards full if 8" long nails was left on the floor [see photos of the room here] Being locked in this room was often a form of punishment for such "crimes" as saying "I'm hungry, can I have something to eat.")
  • Medical neglect: characterized by the lack of providing medical care; (I was taken to a pediatric from birth to age 8; between 8 and 31 I was allowed to go to the emergency room 8 times; during those years I suffered 7 miscarriage, multiple injuries, and many serious infections, none of which I was allowed to go to the hospital for. Because of the state of the room I was kept looked in [see photos here] I new suffer from "stacibotrin poisoning" and have crippling life-long respiratory and sinus problems)
  • Emotional neglect: characterized by a lack of nurturance, encouragement and support; (Asking for a hug was punishable by being beaten with one of the boards full of nails; not being able to recite the books of the Bible and Book of Mormon fast enough could result in not food for a week; forgetting to say my hourly prayers, could result in being sold to one of the Saco ward LDS church high priests as his sex slave for the day.)
  • Educational neglect: characterized by the caregivers lack to provide an education and additional resources to actively participate in the school system; (My mother removed me from school at the age of 8 on grounds of "The government controls the school, Satan controls the government, no child off mine will be taken by Satan.")
  • Abandonment: when the parent or guardian leaves a child alone for a long period of time without a babysitter. (I was frequently -3 to 5 days a week -left looked in the car during hot summer evenings for upto 12 hours to a time, while my mother did karaoke in bars with her sister Barbie Jean)

TRUE Autism is caused by being born with a genetic mutation which triggers compulsive overcompensation techniques as a way to deal with extreme, abnormal, and excessive early age child abuse. The most common trigger is toddler rape by adults, sexual abuse, and child sex slavery.


Child sexual abuse (CSA) is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent abuses a child for sexual stimulation.

Sexual abuse refers to the participation of a child in a sexual act aimed toward the physical gratification or the financial profit of the person committing the act.

Forms of CSA include asking or pressuring a child to engage in sexual activities (regardless of the outcome), indecent exposure of the genitals to a child, displaying pornography to a child, actual sexual contact with a child, physical contact with the child's genitals, viewing of the child's genitalia without physical contact, or using a child to produce child pornography. Selling the sexual services of children may be viewed and treated as child abuse rather than simple incarceration.

Persons with ACTUAL Autism often display several of the following side effects of child sexual abuse:

  • guilt and self-blame
  • flashbacks
  • nightmares
  • insomnia
  • fear of things associated with the abuse (including objects, smells, places, doctor's visits, etc.)
  • self-esteem difficulties
  • sexual dysfunction
  • chronic pain 
  • addiction
  • self-injury
  • suicidal ideation
  • somatic complaints
  • depression
  • post-traumatic stress disorder
  •  anxiety
  • other mental illnesses including borderline personality disorder and dissociative identity disorder
  • propensity to re-victimization in adulthood
  • bulimia nervosa

Children who are the victims are also at an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections due to their immature immune systems and a high potential for mucosal tears during forced sexual contact.

In the United States, approximately 15% to 25% of women and 5% to 15% of men were sexually abused when they were children.

  • Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims;
  • approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, uncles or cousins;
  • around 60% are other acquaintances such as friends of the family, babysitters, or neighbours;
  • strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases.
  • In over one-third of cases, the perpetrator is also a minor.

The uncles who raised me are currently wanted by and on the run from the FBI.


An increase in children having Autism = an increase in children being raped, molested, and sexually abused by a caregiver before reaching the age of 3.


Yes, because of what the ACTUAL causes of ACTUAL Autism are, if your child REALLY DOES have ACTUAL Autism...

you are one hell of a horrible, shitty, no good son of bitch, bastard of a parent and you should be in prison where your neglectful, self-serving, sexually depraved, child abusing ass belongs.

You might want to think about THAT next time you go around bragging "I self diagnosed my child as Autistic."


As many as 60% of all Autistics are catatonic... meaning they were abused so bad that their brain shut down, forcing them into a "waking coma" as a way to not see the abuse any longer.


Asperger’s Syndrome shares with Autism:

  • a severe and sustained impairment in social interaction
  • restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviour and interests.

But people with Asperger’s do not have:

  • the significant delays in language, cognition, self-help skills or adaptive behaviour that are typical in autism

Aspies are:

  • often physically clumsy and awkward, more obviously than children with classic Autism

Asperger’s is often not recognized easily or early, and may be misdiagnosed as:

  • Tourette’s Syndrome
  • Attention Deficit Disorder
  • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
  • Oppositional Defiance Disorder
  • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

As with Autism, the disorder is lifelong and symptoms do not lesson, change, or go away with time.

Asperger's is considered prevalent and very common.

Was identified in 1944, but was not recognized by doctors as an actual diagnosis until 1994.


Gifted Introverts are shy people with high IQs (an IQ of 130 or higher). 

While socially awkward, they do not have the speech issues, ritualistic behaviors, or other symptoms of either Autism or Aspergers.

Many gifted, but introverted children are inaccurately diagnosed as having Aspergers when they in fact do not have it.

Gifted Children have a very high IQ of 130 or higher.

On the other hand, ACTUAL Aspies rarely have high IQs.


Most Aspergers people have a low IQ that is only slightly higher then the IQs of Autistics, usually in the range of 75 to 90.

High Functioning Aspergers are uncommon to rare, and most of them having normal/average IQs of between 90 to 120.

Autism equaling a high IQ is an urban myth spread by internet memes and is NOT an actual symptom of either Autism or Aspergers.

Aspies are more likely then not to have a low IQ in the range of 75 to 90.

Autistics rarely have an IQ above 75.


True Autism, ACTUAL Autism, is defined as "a psychosis caused by extreme psychological trauma in early childhood, often of a sexual nature".

Psychological trauma is a type of damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a severely distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one's ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. A traumatic event involves one's experience, or repeating events of being overwhelmed that can be precipitated in weeks, years, or even decades as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences.

Trauma can be caused by a wide variety of events, but there are a few common aspects. There is frequently a violation of the person's familiar ideas about the world and their human rights, putting the person in a state of extreme confusion and insecurity. This is also seen when institutions that are depended upon for survival, violate, humiliate, betray, or cause major losses or separations.

Psychologically traumatic experiences often involve physical trauma that threatens one's survival and sense of security. Typical causes and dangers of psychological trauma include harassment, embarrassment, abandonment, abusive relationships, rejection, co-dependence, physical assault, sexual abuse, partner battery, employment discrimination, police brutality, judicial corruption and misconduct, bullying, paternalism, domestic violence, indoctrination, being the victim of an alcoholic parent, the threat or the witnessing of violence (particularly in childhood), life-threatening medical conditions, and medication-induced trauma.

Catastrophic natural disasters such as earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, large scale transportation accidents, house or domestic fire, motor vehicle accident, mass interpersonal violence like war, terrorist attacks or other mass tortures like sex trafficking, being taken as a hostage or kidnapped can also cause psychological trauma. Long-term exposure to situations such as extreme poverty or milder forms of abuse, such as verbal abuse, exist independently of physical trauma but still generate psychological trauma.

If your child has REAL, ACTUAL Autism, it means he suffered one of the above listed events prior to the age of 3 years old.


Many psychiatrists ACTUALLY TRAINED in diagnosing REAL Autism, even today in 2017 believe that an Autistic person, is a person who was born with Aspergers, but whom suffered such horrendous abuse prior to the age of 3, that, their brain triggered over compensation methods to cope with the extreme abuse they were subjected to.

Because of this, Aspergers and Autism are considered by many to be two different forms of the same disorder, but that Aspergers does not become Autism unless it also has the severe early childhood sexual abuse to trigger it.


Because of the severe nature of the levels of sexual abuse required to trigger the Autism component of Asperger's, when a child is ACTUALLY diagnosed with REAL Autism, they are also immediately put into state custody and removed from their parents/guardian's care, and criminal charges are then filed against the parent/guardian.


If your child was not taken away from you at the time of diagnosis, and you did not have sexual abuse charged filed against you by the state, then your child was NOT diagnosed with ACTUAL Autism.


Kanner's Syndrome (ACTUAL Autism) is listed as a Psychosis and is therefore a mental illness.

It is considered to be caused by a genetic birth defect, which triggers an imbalance of the synapses, when a person suffering from this birth defect, is subjected to sexual abuse.

Doctors and Pediatrics can not legally diagnose Autism because they can not legally diagnose mental illnesses.

Your child can only receive an ACTUAL Autism diagnoses by a Psychiatrist specially trained in severe cases of early childhood sexual trauma.


In spite of untrained teachers, caregivers, social workers, and parents tossing around the "diagnosis" of Autism... to the rate of calling 1 in every 3 children Autistic...

...Autism remains one of the most difficult diagnoses to get diagnosed with, due to the fact doctors are reluctant to risk being sued for false charges of sexual abuse of the child, should it later be discovered the child had not been sexually abused and therefore does NOT have Autism.

Only 1 in 10,000 children are ever ACTUALLY diagnosed with Autism, by someone ACTUALLY TRAINED in recognizing this level of early childhood sexual abuse trauma.


Because Kanner's Syndrome aka ACTUAL Autism is so rare, fewer then 20% of all doctors are trained in how to recognize, diagnose, or treat it.


If your doctor diagnoses your child with "Autism" - get a new doctor immediately, as they are not trained in Autism well enough to know there is no actual medical diagnoses of "Autism" because there is no disease, illness, or disorder that actually has the medical name "Autism".


Both Aspergers and Autism are considered to be "types" of Schizophrenia.

Contrary to popular urban myths spread by ill informed parents and patients, both Autism and Aspergers are mental illnesses and can only be treated by psychiatrists. Family Practitioners and Pediatricians are not legally licensed to treat or diagnose either Aspergers or Autism. Beware of any one who says otherwise.

Unlike most mental illnesses, Aspergers and Autism are disorders you are born with. You can not "get" them. Once activated, they do not lesson, get better, or go away with time.

Similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, both Aspergers and Autism require traumatic stress to "activate" the genes the child was born with. Once activated, they do not turn back off.

Both Aspergers and Autism are also known as "Childhood Onset Schizophrenia".

The difference in the diagnoses, and the severity of the symptoms, is typically a result of the age of onset.

Autism is when the genes are triggered in early childhood before the age of 3. Because of the early onset, Autism is the most physically crippling and disabling type of Schizophrenia. There are no known treatments.

Aspergers is when the genes are triggered in late childhood often around the age of 14. Because of the later onset, many Aspies are able to live independent and functional lives. Diet and lifestyle are considered to help, though this is only speculation.

Schizophrenia is when the genes are triggered in adulthood after the age of 20. Late onset Schizophrenia is often treated with medication, though there is much debate in the medical world as the usefulness of this approach.


Still think you know what Autism is?


I am 1 of the 1 in 10,000 people who has REAL, ACTUAL Autism.

I do not have more then 90% of the symptoms "commonly attributed to Autisim", because most of those symptoms are urban myths made up by fans of Sheldon Cooper and are not real symptoms of REAL Autism.

Find out what it is like to live with REAL Autism here.

Find out why 80% of people claiming to be Autistic are not here:

Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis


How does Quaraun compare to those facts about Autism?

As this page has gotten too long already and has already had to be cut into multiple pages, I'm going to answer that question on a new page, which I will link here once it is completed.

Moving on...



Remember:

Autism is very rare, only 1 in 10,000 children ACTUALLY have it.

Getting a diagnosis of Autism is next to impossible.

Parents who push their doctors to look for Autism in their child, are rarely aware that they are asking their doctor to look for sex abuse done by a parent.

Aspergers is fairly uncommon, only 1 in 400 children ACTUALLY have it.

Yet 1 in ever 3 children is self diagnosed (by themselves or a parent) as being an "Aspie".

Autism Spectrum Disorder in far more common with 1 in 64 children having it. (This means, 1 in every 64 children, have one of the illnesses o the list below)

There are more then 60 illnesses, which are commonly miss-self-diagnosed as Aspergers:

Can You List all Of The Autism Spectrum Disorders?

Most People Can Only List 5 of Them

There Are More Then 60 Disorders "On The Autism Spectrum" Including Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Schizophrenia, Threadworm Infestation, and having had a Stroke.

Did you know that?

Autism Is A Rare Illness

Only 1 in 10,000 ACTUALY Have Autism

Yet 1 in 3 People Self Diagnose Themselves As "Aspergers Type of Autism"

Only Problem Is Aspergers Is Not A Type Of Autism

Aspergers Is One Of More Then 60 Illnesses Known As "The Autism Spectrum Disorders"

An ASD Is An Illness That Is NOT Autism, But Displays Autistic-Like Symptoms

80% of All People Claiming To Be "Autistic Aspies" Actually Have One of The Illnesses on This List Instead:

Here Are The Autism Spectrum Disorders
(Illnesses commonly misdiagnosed as Autism & which 80% of self diagnosed Aspies ACTUALLY have)

  • Abnormal Fear Structure
  • Alzheimer Disease
  • Angelman Syndrome
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Aphasia
  • Asperger syndrome
  • Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or AD/HD
  • Auditory Processing Disorder
  • Avoidant Personality Disorder
  • Bipolar disorder
  • Bi-Polar Affective Disorder
  • Candida Albicans.
  • Carnitine Deficiency
  • Celiac's Disease
  • Childhood Disintegrative Disorder
  • Chromosome 15 inverted duplication
  • Chromosome 17 trisomy mosaicism
  • Chromosome 18, Monosomy 18p
  • Chromosome 18p minus syndrome
  • Chromosome 19 ring syndrome
  • Chromosome 1q21.1 Deletion Syndrome
  • Chromosome 2, monosomy 2q37
  • Chromosome 20, deletion 20p
  • Chromosome 20p deletion syndrome
  • Cocaine use during pregnancy
  • Cocktail Party Speech Syndrome
  • Concentration Disorder
  • Congenital Rubella Syndrome
  • Cornelia de Lange Syndrome
  • DAS "Developmental Apraxia of Speech"
  • Deafness
  • Defiant Disorder
  • Del(1) (pter-p35)
  • Deletion 20p
  • Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia (apraxia)
  • Down’s Syndrome
  • Epilepsy
  • Fetal Alcohol Effect
  • Fragile X Syndrome
  • Galactosemia
  • Heckenlively syndrome
  • Heller's Disease
  • Hyperlexia
  • Hypomelanosis of Ito
  • Intellectual Disability
  • Intermittent Explosive Disorder
  • Irlen Syndrome/Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome (SSS)
  • Klinefelter Syndromes
  • Lactic Acidosis
  • Landau-Kleffner Syndrome
  • Lead poisoning 
  • Lesch-Nyhan Syndrome
  • Manic Depression
  • Mental retardation
  • Mesenteric adenitis
  • Microdeletion 3q29
  • Migraine
  • Mild traumatic brain injury (MTBI)
  • Monosomy 20p
  • Mucopolysaccharidoses (MPS)
  • Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  • Neurofibromatosis
  • Nonverbal learning disorder
  • Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus (NPH)
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
  • Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)
  • PDD-NOS "Pervasive Development Disorder/Not Otherwise Specified"
  • Phenylketonuria
  • Porphyria 
  • Post-concussive brain injury
  • Prosopagnosia
  • PTEN Hamartoma Tumor Syndrome
  • Reactive Attachment Disorder
  • Receptive Developmental Dysphasia
  • Rett Syndrome
  • Schizo Effective Personality Disorder
  • Schizoid Personality Disorder
  • Schizotypal Personality Disorder
  • Schizophrenia
  • Selective mutism
  • Semantic Pragmatic Disorder or SPD
  • Sensory processing disorder
  • Sleep Disorder
  • Smith-Magenis Syndrome
  • Social anxiety disorder
  • Spacial Planning Disorder
  • Static Encephalopathy
  • Stereotypic movement disorder
  • Stroke -- Undiagnosed
  • Tardive Dyskinesia
  • Threadworm infestation
  • Tourette’s Syndrome
  • Tuberous Sclerosis
  • Turner's syndrome
  • Unspecified Neurodevelopmental Disorder
  • WAGR Syndrome
  • William’s Syndrome
  • Wilms tumor
  • Wilsons Disease

Some of the illnesses on that list are extremely life threatening if left untreated.

Most parents who self-diagnose their child, do so with out ever looking at ANY alternative. Many of these mothers are later diagnosed with Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy.

More then 60% of mothers who self diagnose their children have Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy and the child turns out to have NO disorder AT ALL and is just a normal healthy child who is victim to a Hypochondriac mother, who gains attention from other mothers by pretending her child has the same illness as the mother she is trying to compete with.

The saddest part is that self-diagnosed Aspergers rose 6,000% the same month the TV show Big Bang Theory became "the most popular show on television", with 40% of children between the ages of 12 and 18, admitting they only claimed to have Aspergers "to be more like Sheldon Cooper" and 60% of all parents who self diagnosed their children stating they hoped that by "convincing" their child they had Aspergers, they would "aspire to be more like Sheldon Cooper"... The horrible reality is Autism always has been and still is very rare, with only 1 in 10,000 children actually having it (also the correct medical name for Autism is Kanner's Syndromn and if you child has REAL Autism, the doctor NEVER says "your child has Autism" but rather says "your child has Kanner's Syndrom").

In spite of the fact that Autism (Kanners Syndrome) is a very rare BIRTH DEFECT caused by mutated genes, and effects only 1 in every 10,000 people, as many as 1 in 3 people currently claim to have Autism.

These facts make me feel sad for all the REAL Autistics and their parents, because the fact remains there are a lot of fakers out there and they don't realize how hard they make it for those of us with real Kanner's Syndrome, a very rare, and very crippling birth defect that is in no way, shape or form, related to Aspergers or Autism Spectrum Disorder.


The best way to compare the difference between Autism and Asperger's and self-diagnosed Aspergers is to very directly ask the person, what their thoughts are on having an high IQ.

Ask a person with "self diagnosed" Asperger's: "What do you think of people with high IQs?"

The self diagnosed Aspie will tell you their IQ verses what they suspect your IQ to be, call you a brainless ingrate a few dozen times, call you retarded and stupid, belittle you as much as they can, and go on and on and on about all the reasons why they are the greatest person to walk the face of the earth because their IQ is higher then your IQ, in fact their IQ is higher then EVERY ONE'S IQ and better darned sure worship their entailed ass, because they know where you live and you just watch, one day you'll wake up dead because you refused to acknowledge the glory of their amazingly huge over the top IQ.

Then...

Ask a person with ACTUAL Aspergers... "What do you think of people with high IQs?"

A person with Asperger's will immediately jump into a mile long, motor mouthed, monologue on the history of IQs. They will use words you never heard of before and will only be able to find in the darkest reaches of obscure thesauruses, possible ones written in Klingon....they may forget you only speak English and start reciting Shakespeare to you in the Klingon language, without realizing they've changed topics. They will tell you how an IQ is determined. They will tell you all the various types of IQ tests there are out there, including which ones they have taken. Two or three hours later, they are still talking and you've fallen asleep. By the time they stop talking, 4 or 5 hours later... the topic will have changed multiple times, most likely to have included comparing the differences between Captain Kirk, Captain Picard, with a side rant of Captain Jack Sparrow vs Captain Jack Harkness, along with all the reasons why FireFly should not have been canceled, ending off with a comparison of Johnny Depp and Gene Wilder and why each was the perfect Wonka in his own way. They will have never actually answered your question, because they are just so excited that some one wants to talk to them and so will have shared as much of their knowledge of their favorite obsessions with you as they possibly could because there's no telling how many weeks or months it may be before anyone talks to them again.

NOW...

Ask a person with Autism: "What do you think of people with high IQs?" 

and you'll get THIS:

YOU: "What do you think of people with high IQs?" 

THE AUTISTIC ADULT IN HIS 40s: "Mountains are high."

YOU: "Yes they are, but what do you think of people with high IQs?" 

THE AUTISTIC: "I don't know."

YOU: "Do you know what a high IQ is?"

THE AUTISTIC: "I don't know."

YOU: "Do you know what a high IQ is?"

THE AUTISTIC: "I don't know."

YOU: "Have you ever heard of an IQ before?"

THE AUTISTIC: "I have a red crayon."

YOU: "I can see that, but we're not talking about crayons right now, we are talking about IQs."

THE AUTISTIC: "Okay."

YOU: "Do you have a high IQ?"

THE AUTISTIC: "I have a red crayon."

YOU: "That's nice, but we are talking about IQs."

THE AUTISTIC ADULT IN HIS 40s:  "I like crayons."

YOU: "Can you put down the crayon?"

THE AUTISTIC: "Okay."

*puts down crayon and stares mournfully at it*

YOU: "Do you think you have a high IQs?"

THE AUTISTIC: "Okay."

*can no longer hear you and continues to stare mournfully at crayon*

YOU: "Is there an IQ in the room with us right now?"

THE AUTISTIC: "Okay."

*is still not hearing you and continues to stare mournfully at crayon*

YOU: "We need to know what you think an IQ is."

THE AUTISTIC: "Okay."

*begins rocking back and forth and continues to stare mournfully at crayon*

YOU: "Do you have any idea what an IQ is?"

THE AUTISTIC: "Okay."

*starts rocking faster and continues to stare mournfully at crayon*

YOU: "You like that crayon don't you?"

THE AUTISTIC: "Yep."

*stops rocking and continues to stare mournfully at crayon*

YOU: "You want to pick it up again?"

THE AUTISTIC ADULT IN HIS 40s:  "Yep."

*continues to stare mournfully at crayon*

YOU: "You can hold the crayon if you want to."

THE AUTISTIC: "Okay."

*picks up crayon; stars laughing and smiling happily*

YOU: "What do you think you do with a high IQ?"

THE AUTISTIC: "You eat it."

YOU: "Eat it?"

THE AUTISTIC: "Yep."

YOU: "How would you eat it?"

THE AUTISTIC: "You don't eat crayons."

YOU: "How would you eat an IQ?"

THE AUTISTIC: "I eat mine with macaroni and cheese."

YOU: "You like mac and cheese?"

THE AUTISTIC: "On Thursdays."

YOU: "Thursdays?"

THE AUTISTIC: "Yep. Macaroni and cheese on Thursday."

YOU: "You eat mac and cheese on Thursday?"

THE AUTISTIC: "Today's not Thursday."

YOU: "Do you know what day it is?"

THE AUTISTIC ADULT IN HIS 40s: "Today is Saturday. We eat pizza on Saturday. But not until after Scooby Doo. Gotta watch Scooby Doo first. Can't miss Scooby Doo."


To know Autism better, it is best to look at real life people who actually have it.

The World's Most Famous Autistic Person: Liberace:

Liberace was noted for:

  • having a very low IQ
  • as a child was not considered smart enough to attend school
  • speech impediments
  • difficulty talking
  • the ability to play by ear any song on the piano he heard from the age of 3
  • was born disabled but almost no one knew this as he hid his disabilities
  • had bone and joint issues, causing him to frequently fall, resulting in him often falling on stage, then turning it into a comedy skit... most people thought it was an act, few people were aware of his disability
  • multiple serious physical ailments which had him frequently hospitalized every few weeks of his entire life from childhood throughout his adult years
  • his extremely cheerful docile demeanor, 
  • his alarming inability to be made angry (even when his mother was kidnapped and held hostage by a gang of gay-haters)
  • being the first man to wear pink on TV
  • having 300 rhinestone suites
  • having 200 capes
  • having 36 dogs, 2 elephants, and dozens of other pets, all rescues
  • buying dozens of abandoned buildings and rebuilding them into massive apartment housing complexes for the homeless, giving tens of thousands of homeless people places to live and jobs to provide for their families, without any background checks or judgement 
  • giving 100s scholarships out each year to disadvantaged, homeless, minority, and coloured children
  • being America's first billionaire (his income was $32,000 a day in 1952)
  • being the wealthiest man in the world from 1968 to 1987
  • in spite of being a billionaire, his estate had very little money at the time of his death, because in the months before he died it went into hyper donate to every one every where mode, but never telling anyone he did it and it was not discovered until his relatives fought his estate for billions after his death, only to find the money was gone
  • starting more charity groups then any other celebrity to date
  • being the first feather dancer in LasVegas (yes, he invented feather dancing; and yes the first LasVegas show girl was actually a man - this man)
  • inventing synchronized water display systems
  • inventing the art car (he built 64 of them)
  • being the first openly gay celebrity
  • being the first openly bi-sexual/polyamorous  celebrity (he had 5 girlfriends and 1 male lover whom he was rarely seen without)
  • he never married because laws prevented him from marrying all 6 of his lovers
  • was the first person in America to die from AIDS, his death inspired most of the AIDS cure research groups that now exist today










Liberace's kind loving, gentle, childlike nature, his very low IQ, his savant skills in music and cooking, his addictions to all things pink and glitter, his speech disorders (see the videos to hear it in the interviews), his love of animals, his obsessive hoarding problem (watch him trying to squeeze through massive mega hoarding piles of his collections in his house in the family and friends interview below) and his desire to help everyone he meet, are all ACTUAL SYMPTOMS of both Autism and Aspergers.



People who look at Liberace, his glitter, his bright colours, his eye poping pinks, his giddy childlike manner, and often say stuff like...

"But 1 in 3 children have Autism and you don't see 1 in 3 people acting like Liberace. Almost no one dresses or acts like him..."

Ah!

That's what THIS page is for. Go read Part 2: On Writing Autistic Characters Accurately: Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis, which explains why it is, 1 in 3 children "have Autism" while only 1 in 10,000 people dress and act like Liberace.

The short answer is this:

  • ACTUAL Autism (Kanner's Syndrome) is very RARE, effecting only 1 in every 10,000 children
  • Self diagnosed Asperger's is very COMMON with 1 in 3 children self-diagnosed
  • ACTUAL Asperger's is rarer then people think however as only 1 in 400 children who actually have a doctor's diagnose
  • 1 in 64 children are diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, which is different then all of the ones listed above

The fact of the matter is, Autism always has been and still is a very rare disorder and Asperger's is markedly different from Autism, and self-diagnosed Aspergers is different then either Autism or Aspergers.

When you meet someone with Autism... REAL Autism... you are gonna know it. You are not going to say to yourself:

"Hmmm maybe they might possibly have Autism"...

No, you a gonna say:

"OMG! What the freaking hell is wrong with that person, did you see how they were dressed? Did you hear how they talked? They are dancing around chasing butterflies like a 2 year old! What the freaking hell? They are so bizarre!"

If you can get a person with Autism to talk, you are gonna notice, they have a very distinctive voice. They all have it. Every single one of us. Don't know what is sounds like? Here... watch this video... an interview with Liberace... pay attention to his voice and how he talks in a "child like pitch" and uses "childlike" phrases and expressions while talking... (he is in his 60s in this interview)


That is what is known as "the autistic voice" also known by bigots as "the gay voice".

If you ever looked at my YouTube videos, you'll see the most common comment across the board is for people to ask: "What's wrong with her voice?"

I have Autism, and so, like every one else who has Autism, I have that very distinctive "autistic voice".

Aspies do not have it. It one of the ways Aspergers is different then Autism. Aspergers have what is known as the "monotone voice" also known as "the robotic voice" or "the emotionless voice".

It's one of the easiest ways to tell if a person has Autism or Aspergers or neither. Just get them to talk and listen to their voice.

Also Autistics tend to prance instead of walk and gallop instead of run. Watch an autistic walk - they don't stroll along like most people do, but rather have a hop, skip, jump, tippy toe a few steps, then hop, skip, jump again, then twirl around on their toe like a ballerina, hop, skip, jump again, take a few steps, and repeat. 

When told to walk slow, Autistics often hold their arms straight out, and do very tiny "ballerina toe steps" nearly walking in place. Which adults often describe as "twinkle toes".

Autistics walk as though their was music playing and they were prancing across a stage. This is how they walk, every day.

Autistic children, also like to climb, and can frequently be seen jumping up onto chairs or tables, and then spinning around in circles, often with a cape of some sort tied around their neck.

Aspergers on the other hand walk very slow and carefully, often toe to heel, one foot before the other in an awkward straight line, as if walking on a tight rope. It's very controlled, very robotic, and very stiff.

When Aspies run, they also have an interesting way of doing so, where they hold their arms down to their sides, very stiff, very straight, not moving at all, while they high goose step a march, pushing their knees so high, you wonder how they are not knocking their teeth out.

Like the Autistic voice and the Aspie voice, the Autistic walk and the Aspie walk are each very distinctive, and are again, hallmarks of each disorder, making it VERY easy to identify someone with REAL Autism or REAL Aspergers.

80% of self-diadnosed Aspies do not display either the Autistic voice or the Aspie voice, nor the Autistic walk or the Aspie walk, which can be used as proof in itself, that they have miss-self-diagnosed.

But, no, you are right... in spite of 1 in 3 children being self diagnosed as "Aspies" and claiming they therefore are "autistic"... you only see 1 in 10,000 who "talk childish", prance instead of walk, wear capes, pink, and glitter as every day fashion, and act like they are 2 years old no matter how old they are, because, in spite of the boom of "self diagnosed" Aspies and Autistics, there are still ONLY 1 in 10,000 children born with REAL Autism.


Autism vs Aspergers
Now that you know some of the differences...
Let's Look At How They are The Same...


A person can be diagnosed as having BOTH Autism AND Asperger's.


Both Autistics and Aspies:

  • are slow to develop speech

  • would rather talk to adults than kids their own age

  • deficits in social-emotional reciprocity; ranging from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back and forth conversation through reduced sharing of interests, emotions, and affect and response to total lack of initiation of social interaction

  • are perceived by others are "strange", "weird", bizarre", or "insane"

  • many also have co-occurring conditions of mental illness (such as bipolar disorder), behavioral or mood disorder (such as clinical depression or tourette's syndrome), learning disability (such as dyscalcula), or intellectual disability (formerly called mental retardation.)

  • develop strange obsessions with unusual objects

  • most  have aversions to light touch, such as patting the back, stroking hair, or poking, and may reflexively lash out at someone or something making such contact

  • lack the ability to read facial expressions or interpret the emotions of others

  • many also have conditions like executive function disorder, sensory processing disorder (formerly called sensory integration disorder), prosopagnosia (face blindness), dyspraxia, synesthesia, anxiety disorders, and learning disabilities

  • are easily frightened, suffer high anxiety, and are prone to panic attacks

  • are frequently also diagnosed with OCD or OCPD

  • are often misdiagnosed or given simultaneous diagnoses with various conditions like attention deficit disorder (add), attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity (adhd), post-traumatic stress disorder (ptsd), or intellectual disability

  • frequently wear capes and hats as part of their everyday wear

  • problems with gross and fine motor skills

  • are seen by others as "loners"

  • deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction; ranging from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication, through abnormalities in eye contact and body language, or deficits in understanding and use of nonverbal communication, to total lack of facial expression or gestures

  • practice various stereotypy, stimming, and punding activies

  • identify as geeks and nerds

  • an easily come across as arrogant, rude, self-centered, or mean, and will rarely be aware of this unless informed directly

  • are good with computers

  • tend to understand language literally and explicitly

  • have a tendacy to play video games more then is considered normal

  • many are also germaphobic and wash their hands dozens of times a day

  • when a routine is altered or disrupted, may have a meltdown, experience severe anxiety, and will have extreme difficulty adapting to the change

  • most also have gastrointestinal problems

  • tend to be very truthful or honest, sometimes even to the point of extreme bluntness

  • many have glucose and/or lactose intolerance

  • deficits in developing and maintaining relationships, appropriate to developmental level (beyond those with caregivers); ranging from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit different social contexts through difficulties in sharing imaginative play and in making friends to an apparent absence of interest in people

  • have a love for all things sci-fi, especially Star Trek and Star Wars and FireFly

  • idioms are difficult to understand

  • most will live their entire lives as virgins, never once engaging in sex

  • rely heavily on routine, sameness, or being able to expect something to be or occur a certain way

  • most find the idea of engaging in sex activities repulsive, but obsessively read/watch hentai (which they see as comedy, rather then erotic)

  • obsess over comic books and super heroes

  • resistance to a change in routine

  • watch a lot of anime

  • read a lot of manga

  • hyposensitivity to pain and touch

  • both have a high rate of never becoming valuable citizens within society: Autistics because they are too busy happily painting rainbows on pebbled and Aspies because they are too busy plotting global domination

  • stereotyped or repetitive speech, motor movements, or use of objects; (such as simple motor stereotypies, echolalia, repetitive use of objects, or idiosyncratic phrases)

  • most will never marry

  • have great difficulties with nonverbal communication such as facial expressions and body language, and have trouble understanding social subtleties and subtext

  • cite attending comic book and gaming conventions while CosPlaying their favorite characters, among their favorite past times

  • play RPGs like Dungeons and Dragons

  • play collectible card games like Magic the Gathering

  • enjoy board games

  • amass huge collections, tens of thousands of items - all identical

  • excessive adherence to routines, ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior, or excessive resistance to change; (such as motoric ritual, insistence on same route or food, repetitive questioning or extreme distress at small changes)

  • read every book they can find

  • are prone to enjoy reading (and memorizing) unusual books, such as phone books, dictionaries, or all 100 volumes of a 100 volume encyclopedia set

  • highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus; (such as strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests)

  • have photographic and/or idenic memories

  • are highly stressed by loud noises, bright lights, and quick movements

  • do not do well in large crowds

  • hyper or hypo reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of environment; (such as apparent indifference to pain/heat/cold, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, fascination with lights or spinning objects)

  • are prone to developing odd phobias (such as fear of death by paper cut infections)

  • are prone to developing agoraphobia

  • poor eye contact

  • too much sensory overstimulation can lead to sensory overload -- a debilitating state in which the affected person is unable to process or respond to any sensory stimuli, including social interaction

  • live by a rigid set of ritualistic activities (such as eating the exact same food at the exact same time of certain days: Mac&cheese on Thursday at 4 and never at 4:05 and never on Friday) 

  • are comforted by tactile activities (playing with kinetic sand, squeezing squishie balls, hugging teddy bears) and will do so for hours to a time

  • most have a very strong sense of justice -- of right and wrong, and of fairness

  • are more likely to commit suicide before reaching the age of 45, then any other neuro disorder 

Autism is a life-long, chronic disorder
Yes - Adults Have Autism

A common thing I hear from readers is the phrase:

"But how can he have Autism, only kids get that!"

"But that's a childhood illness, he's a grown man, he can't be Autistic."

"Wait, how can an adult have Autism?"

It seems to baffle many readers of the series to see Quaraun, an adult with Autism.

While the series spans his entire life (750 years), the bulk of the series takes place in a small 50 year period, when he is around 450 years old, which is the equivalent of a 40 to 50 year old human man.

For some reason the average person is unaware of the fact that Autism does not go away once the child becomes an adult.

The problem seems to be based in:

"But I never see adults with Autism!"

No. You don't. That's because 73% of all Autistic children, grow up to be adults who living in nursing homes, group care homes...

Did you know that a Nursing Home is NOT the same thing as a Home For the Elderly, a Seniors' Home, or a Retirement Assisted Living Complex?

Contrary to what you are told in movies, a Nursing Home is a place for adults who can not function without 24 hour adult supervision and have no relative willing to care for them. Autism and Downs Syndrome are the two most common types of patients in a Nursing Home. Most of them being between the ages of 18 to 45. (Few Autistics live past 45 years of age.)

Do you know why most Autistics do not live past 45? Because most die from starvation, malnutrition, untreated injuries, untreated broken bones that became infected, suicide, or being beaten to death by bullies. 

Autistic adults are rarely able to cook for themselves, and without caregivers can go weeks on end without food.

Autistic adults are rarely aware they are sick, hurt, or injured, and if they do not have a caregiver to take them to the hospital, they do not think to go on their own. This is not an avoidance of doctors, but rather them absent minding forgetting that things like doctors exist.

Autistic adults have a high rate of "suicide by poison" which is presumed to be not actual suicide, but rather, mishaps such as them not being able to tell the difference between a white bottle of milk and a white bottle of Draino.

Autistic adults have a high rate of "suicide by overdose" which is presumed to be not actual suicide, but rather, mishaps such as them not being able to tell the difference between take 2 before bed and take 20 before bed, due to their not being able to count or comprehend differences in the amount of things.

And again Autistic adults have a high rate of "suicide by overdose" which is presumed to be not actual suicide, but rather, mishaps such as them not being able to tell time and instead of "take 1 pill every 8 hours" taking 8 pills every half hour.

Autistic adults have the highest rate of any illness of dying from injuries sustained by bullies. This is a combination of Autistic adults being 63% more likely to be bullied with excessive physical violence and 83% more likely to not seek medical help (see above).

73% of Autistic adults will never set foot out of a nursing home or be seen by the general public.

(And why do all these percentages end in 3?)

Pay close attention to Autistic children... have you ever noticed that between the ages of 18 to 24, they simply disappear? Vanish from the world as though they never existed? This is because 73% of all parents of Autism, mistakenly thought their child would hit 18 and BOOM the "childhood illness" would disappear.

Then 18 came and went and reality hit them... their child was going to continue to wear diapers for the next 50 year. Their child would never talk, never learn to eat on their own... after 18 years of waiting for that magical day when adulthood would set in and they could FINALLY have a break from raising an Autistic child - reality set in and they were faced with: OMG! Autism is NOT a childhood illness! It doesn't magically go away at adulthood!

And so, it was off to the nursing home with them. The parents finally got their freedom. The Autistic adult is left traumatized, feeling abandoned by his family, unloved, unwanted, and in more then half of all cases, will commit suicide with in the first 2 years of being sent to a nursing home, once the realization their family is never coming back for them sets in.

That is why you rarely see Autistic adults in public, and that is why Autism has the highest suicide rate of any mental illness. A symptom of Autism is an inability to accept change; becoming closely attached to their caretakers; and suicide if ever separated from said caregivers.

How to tell if an adult has Autism:

  • Only 33% of Autistic adults are able to achieve at least partial independence; full Independence is rare.
  • Impaired ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others. Autistic adults find it very difficult to communicate. 
  • 40% of adults with autism never speak/are 100% mute
  • 70% of adults with autism rarely speak/are near mute
  • About 10% of adults with autism have some form of savant skills-limited gifts such as memorizing lists, drawing, or musical ability.
  • 50% of Autistic adults wander away from caregivers (not realizing they have done so, often following a floating dust speck or a beam of light, etc).
  • 50% of Autistic adults can get "lost", even s only a few feet from their driveway.
  • 50% of Autistic adults have no facial recognition and will not recognize a person they see today as being the same person they meet yesterday.
  • 50% of Autistic adults have no familiar recognition and can not tell the difference between one car or another, one house or another, and often if get to the end of their driveway, can not tell which house is theirs to go back into it.
  • Sleep problems occur in about 40% to 70% of adults with autism.
  • Some adults with Autism never develop functional communication, while others may have speech, but not use it functionally. 
  • Stereotyped, repetitive, or unusual use of language. Autistic adults find it very difficult to verbalize what they want to say. Adults with autism often repeat over and over a phrase they have heard previously (echolalia)
  • Adults with Autism use the word "okay" to answer nearly everything anyone says to them, rather than answer with "yes", "no", or full sentences.
  • It is difficult for Autistic adults to start and continue a conversation. 
  • Autistic adults avoid eye contact completly. 
  • Autistic adults do not comment on sociological-political issues, rarely vote, and are rarely aware of what is going on in the world at large.
  • Difficulty understanding what other people mean to say. 
  • An Autistic adult person will not understand that someone is using humor. They instead interpret the communication word by word and fail to catch the implied meaning.
  • Jokes, slang terms, sarcasm, and irony are beyond the Autistic Adult's realm of understanding.
  • Autistic adults take words literally. If you say a word they do not know, they will look up i's meaning in the dictionary and assume that it was you meant, while remaining clueless to any slang, hidden, double, or innuendo meanings you may have intended.
  • Most people find interacting with Autistic adults frustrating and avoid communication with them.
  • Autistic adults cannot keep track of time, have no grasp of time (minutes, hours, days are all the same to them). They can not read clocks or calendars.
  • Restricted patterns of interest that are abnormal in intensity or focus.
  • Preoccupation with certain objects or subjects.
  • When doing something they enjoy, Autistic adults may continue to do it for hours, or days, on end without stopping to eat or sleep or pee, and may require another person to physically get them out of that state. 
  • People find it difficult to deal with autistic adults, due to their none standard emotions (laughing at death, crying at a joke, etc). Autistic adults rarely know when to use which emotion and may use random emotions at random, to simply try to appear normal, but using said emotions at the wrong time only males them appear even less normal.
  • Autistic adults have trouble participating in a two-way conversation and may appear to talk at people rather than with them
  • Like children, adults with Autism may have a tendency to throw tantrums, however, their tantrums cannot be compared with that of a child, as children often do this for attention, while an Autistic is completely unaware there are others with them. An Autistic tantrum, more correctly called a "fit" or "meltdown", bares more similarities to an epileptic seizure then and actual temper tantrum. A true tantrum is a controlled tool to get something desired, whereas an Autistic meltdown is a uncontrolled response to over stimulation of lights, sounds, or crowds.
  • Most of the autistic adults are hyper or hypo sensitive to light, sounds and crowds and have sensory processing issues and experience unusual reactions to certain noises, sights, smells or textures.
  • Autistic adults suffer from fine or gross motor difficulty. 
  • Adults with Autism often can not focus their eyes and are not able to participate in activities such as sports which require coordination with other people. 
  • Adults with Autism engage themselves in repetitive activities.
  • Impaired ability to make friends with peers. Autistic adults often find it difficult to make and maintain friends. 
  • Autistic adults live in their own world, which is fully populated and exists in their head. They prefer activities, which require minimum interaction with other people, so that they can interact with the people living in their head instead.
  • Autistic adults have an inflexible adherence to specific routines or rituals. Can only walk on certain roads at certain times, can only eat certain foods at certain places on certain days, etc.
  • Some Autistic adults have a significant cognitive impairment, while others are gifted in one area. 
  • Autistic children who displayed excessive lining up of toys or objects, will continue to do so as adults.
  • Autistic adults do not often enjoy or seek out interaction with others, yet some do not get to socialize as much as they would like, but have not develops age appropriate skills to know how to interact with those around them.

It’s important to avoid stereotypes like, “All people with autism do . . . .” Remember, there are just as many individual differences among people with autism as there are among people without autism. 


Autism In The Quaraun Series


Quaraun has High Functioning Autism, meaning his IQ is higher then 75 and he is able to communicate with others in the form of full sentences instead of just 1 and 2 word phrases.

He does require adult supervision and people to take care of him. On his own Quaraun can barely survive and is not thriving. Quaraun is, quite literally, too stupid to live, and if he didn't have Unicorn (and later also GhoulSpawn) there looking out for him, he would not have reached old age.

When on his own, Quaraun frequently gets beaten up, bullied, and raped. There are often obvious signs and clues that these things are about to happen, which he does not see and does not pick up on.

He doesn't know how to cook or gather food in the wild, and the only reason he hasn't starved to death is because he's very wealthy and has figured out how to go to taverns to buy food.

Quaraun is a well paid, highly sought after wizard. Because his skills are very unique, people are willing to pay him alarming amounts of money, often not realizing he has no concept of money and would have done as they asked without pay.

Unfortunately he can not count and has no idea how much money he is giving a person or how much money things should cost, resulting in people often taking advantage of him, charging way more then they would charge someone else, and then even after he's paid them double that, they tell him it's not enough so he ends up paying them again.

"That'll be 3 pounds, 2 shillings," the man said.

Quaraun handed him a gold coin.

The man stared at the coin not sure if this was a joke.

"I said 3 pounds, 2 shillings," the man said.

Quaraun handed him another gold coin.

"No, I said 3 pounds, 2 shillings," the man said.

Quaraun handed the man a third gold coin. The merchant didn't know what to do. He was now holding in his hand more money then he had ever made in his entire life. He felt certain he was the butt end of some joke. He looked around wondering if one of his buddies was hiding around a nearby corner laughing.

Unicorn, seeing that Quaraun had not yet caught up to him and seeing that both Quaraun and the merchant were looking very confused, decided he'd better find out what was going on.

"W'atcha doing?" Unicorn asked Quaraun.

"I feel I have giving him the wrong amount," Quaraun said to the Faerie.

"W'at him should has pays ya?" Unicorn asked the merchant.

"Three pounds, 2 shillings," the man said.

"W'at him dids give ya?"

The merchant held out the three gold coins. Unicorn burst out laughing.

"Well, at leasting him got de t'ree right, eh?" Unicorn said. "It better den him usually do."

"I gave him the wrong amount," Quaraun said.

"Oh aye. Yi most certainly did."

"How much more does he need?" Quaraun started taking out more gold coins.

"No, no, no, no, no," Unicorn said as he took the bag of gold coins from the Elf. "It do be fine. Ya gave him too much already, eh? Here. Let me does de money. Ya chase de butterflies or somet'ing, okay?"

"Okay."

"I wan't trying to cheat him," the merchant said, handing the coins to Unicorn.

"No," Unicorn said, handing the coins back. "It fine. Keep 'em. Consider it ya lucky day. We has plenty more. Him has more gold then brains."

"A jelly fish ate my brain," Quaraun said.

"Jelly fish....?" The merchant looked at Unicorn questioningly. "Is he crazy or something?"

"Aye. Just t'ink. Yi gets to tells people ya meet Quaraun the Insane un lived to tell the tale, eh?"

"Quaraun the... the Pink Necromancer?" The man looked stunned. "He's the Pink Necromancer. Him? But... he's... he's..."

"I like pink," Quaraun said, spinning around on his tip toe and holding out his sparkling skirts.

"He's insane," the merchant said in a low voice.

"Aye," Unicorn said cheerfully. "That would be why dey do call him Quaraun the Insane."

If you paid attention, you notice multiple things:

#1: Quaraun NEVER talks to the merchant.

#2: Quaraun only speaks when Unicorn addresses him.

#3: When his mentioned the jelly fish, he is again dressing Unicorn, agreeing with Unicorn's previous statement, by repeating it reworded.

#4: At the mention of the word pink (by anyone, in this case the merchant) Quaraun starts babbling to himself about how much he likes pink, then leaves the group, dancing and laughing like a toddler. He does this in every novel, every time someone says the word pink.

#5: He is aware that he has done something wrong when he gives the merchant the wrong money, but he is never made aware of what he did wrong (by this point in the series, Unicorn has given up trying to explain money to Quaraun, though he did try earlier in the series.)

#6: While Quaraun understands people give him things if he gives them gold coins, his grasp of buying/selling, commerce, and economy beyond that is no-existent. 


People frequently laugh at Quaraun and tease him, but he doesn't understand why.

The way he dresses and looks, he often gets mistaken not only for a female, but for a prostitute, especially given the fact that he's often in taverns looking for food. This results in his often being attacked by drunk men and raped. The attacks made worse, with him often beaten very badly once they find out he's a man.

These attacks could be avoided either by his dressing differently or his not being in taverns, but he hasn't got enough intelligence to figure that out, not even when someone tells him point blank.

When upset, Quaraun sits on the floor with his arms over his head saying: "No, no, no, no, no, no,no,no,no,no,no,..."

For an Autistic adult to have a conversation on that level, is considered to be extremely high functioning.

Interestingly, most Autistics are able to write in full conversation, even though they lack the ability to carry out a verbal conversation with some one.

This is why very few people online are aware of the fact that I have Autism.

The fact of the matter is Autism is a very severe disability. And while Asperger's is a similar disability with a few of the same symptoms, it is not nearly as disabling and rarely limits a person from living a normal life.

Whereas 75% of all Autistic will spend their entire life in an assisted living group home, with 93% of those never learning to either talk or walk even into adulthood.

Quaraun uses a lot of short one and two word phrases when talking to people:

"Yes."

"No."

"Okay."

"I don't know."

"Maybe."

"Why?"

"How come?"

Getting Quaraun to speak to strangers in full sentences in nearly impossible. More then half of Quaraun's dialogue is limited to one of two phrases:

"Okay."

and

"No."

Both used regardless of if they are logical answer to the questions presented him or not.

If you pay attention to conversations in the Quaraun series, you will pick up on the fact that Quaraun is mostly non-verbal around strangers, and when speaking, no matter who he is speaking to, nearly always addresses Unicorn, rather then the person he is actually speaking to.

Quaraun has no difficulty speaking to people he trusts, thus his conversations are fluid when speaking to Unicorn or GhoulSpawn. However, when talking to strangers, his sentences become short and curt.

For example, if Unicorn asks him the question: "Are you okay?"

His answer will be very long winded, explaining in detailed monologue, every last ache and pain he has felt for the past several hours. The answer will be several sentences long, spanning 100 or more words.

If, however, a stranger asks him the question: "Are you okay?"

It will instead read:

"I'm fine," Quaraun said quietly. He averted his eyes.


"Are you okay?" The man asked as he helped Quaraun back up.

"I'm fine," Quaraun said quietly. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yep." He averted his eyes.

"You look hurt."

"No."

"You're bleeding."

"No," Quaraun raised his voice.

"Yes. You are."

"No," Quaraun said louder then before.

"You need help."

"No." Quaraun stamped his foot on the ground as he spoke.

"It's alright." The man tried to take hold of the Elf's arm.

"Don't touch me."

Quaraun backed away, looking around nervously and wondering where Unicorn was.

"No, it's alright. You seem confused."

"Don't touch me."

Quaraun closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

"It's okay. I just wanta help.."

"No! No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Nooooooooooo..."

Quaraun suddenly dropped to his knees while screaming and hitting himself in the head. The stranger backed away, uncertain of how to respond to this outburst.

In this scene we see Quaraun separated from Unicorn and not sure what to do when a stranger attempts to talk to him. Again we see the Autism loud and clear:

#1: Quaraun is looking around trying to find Unicorn and not listening to what the stranger is saying to him.

#2: In spite of being obviously injured and in need of medical assistance, he is refusing help on any level at all, because this person trying to help him is not his caretaker.

"I understand perfectly why some of my autistic patients scream and flap their arms--it's to frighten off extroverts" 

— Mark Vonnegut

#3: Normal speaking in a quite voice, barely above a whisper, Quaraun begins to raise his voice when he feels threatened.

#4: Even though the man is trying to help, Quaraun does not have the ability to translate other people's actions or expressions, and can not tell if the man is attacking him or not.

#5: Seen many times throughout the series, Quaraun starts stamping his foot on the ground, when he wants someone to back away, which is a typical action done by almost all Autistic people. This is a threatening move on his part that says "back off", however as normal people do not do this, few people understand what he is doing.

#6: Like most Autistics, Quaraun is hyper sensitive to touch. The instant the man takes hold of his arm, Quaraun immediately becomes defensive. Even a light touch causes pain, and he is now translating this stranger as someone trying to hurt him.

#7: Closing his eyes, his his final attempt to shut out the "attacker", in a vain hope that if he can no longer see the stranger, the stranger will leave him alone.

“Shutting down is protection.

It's something I cannot control. Sometimes I can feel

it building up.

Other times, it just happens without me realizing.” 

― TinaJ. Richardson

#8: However he realizes this never works and has become very tense now and is clenching his fists out of frustrating.

#9: When closing his eyes doesn't signal to the man he wants to be left alone, he breaks into "an autistic meltdown". He wants to be left alone. He wants the man to not hurt him. He's afraid the man is about to beat him up. He doesn't know how to tell the man these things, thus why he is screaming "No, no, no, no..." He's having a sensory overload. Too many things are going on inside his brain at once. He can't focus on every one of them. He feels like his emotions have turned on him and at viciously attacking him.

#10: The combination of fear and frustration have overwhelmed him, and he is now, no longer just trying to get the man to leave, but he also now trying to chase the emotions inside of him (fear and frustration) away as well, this why he starts hitting himself in the head, trying to literally beat the fear and frustration out of himself so it will leave him alone. People mistranslate this as him trying to hurt himself. He's not. He's trying to make the pain go away. His emotions are overpowering him and he wants it to stop. He wants the fear to go away, but he doesn't no how to chase it out of his mind. The fear is hurting him and he's trying to hurt it back to make it realize how much it is hurting him. He doesn't understand how his emotions work, he doesn't understand what emotions are, and he feels like his emotions are sentient beings attacking him and he's trying desperately to fight them off and make them go away.

#11: If this scene is allowed to continue with out one of his caretakers intervening, he will progress to pulling out a dagger and cutting his arms in a desperate attempt to cut the offending emotions out of his body, so that he can stop feeling the fear and frustration he is feeling. He is not actually trying to hurt himself, nor is he trying to commit suicide, though, those around him assume that is the case. Rather he understands that bleeding causes him to pass out, passing out causes his emotions to "reset", thus he can wake up "normal" with out the offending emotions "attacking" him.


Usually when confronted by someone, the narration will describe Quaraun doing such things as "taking several steps back", "twisting his fingers", and/or "quickly moving to hide behind Unicorn".

Because the story is told from Quaraun's perspective, you see scenes like this one frequently show up:

"Now if you look over here," Mallac said, pointing to the map.

Quaraun didn't hear the rest, as he found the embroidery on the soldier's uniform to be utterly fascinating and started counting the thread stitches wondering how difficult it would be to recreate the same pattern on one of his dresses.

"Are you listening to me?" Mallac yelled, snapping Quaraun out of his thoughts.

Quaraun had no idea how much time had passed. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. As it was now nearing sunset, it must have been hours. The sunset was causing a reflective light on the soldier's uniform. Quaraun quickly sunk back into his thoughts of embroidery.

"You're doing it again!"

"What?" Quaraun asked, blinking and wondering why the man was yelling at him.

"Have you heard anything I said?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Why the hell not?"

"Your embroidery..."

"My what? What the hell are you talking about? This is important! What the hell were you doing instead of listening to me?"

"Your embroidery..."

"Where is your brain?"

"A jelly fish ate it."

"What?"

"A jelly fish ate my brain."

"What is wrong with you? Can you stop acting crazy long enough to listen to me?" The solider tossed the map in front of the Elf and repeated everything he had already said. "I said..."

Quaraun didn't hear a word of it. He went back to memorizing the detail of the embroidery stitches on Mallac's coat so he could sew them on his next dress.

~From "The Summoner of Darkness" (Volume 11 of The Quaraun series)

This type of scene repeats itself frequently, often a dozen or more times in each novel, with Quaraun often clueless as to instructions people give him, due to his lack of paying attention to anything any one says to him.

And because the story is told from his perspective and Quaraun never finds out what it was that was said, the reader never finds out what people say to Quaraun, as the narrator of the story, does not bring the reader up to speed.

The reader remains in Quaraun's head, seeing the world exactly as he sees it and often not seeing all of the important bits of information needed to know what to expect next.

Advertisement: Microsoft

Autism And Bullying:
That Little Detail Authors Forget To Put In Their Novels To Make Them Realistic

Because Autistics wear pink sparkly cloths, dance instead of walk, talk "childishly", sit on the ground drawing pictures in the sand, an over all act like children even into old age... they are seen by the average person as bizarre and insane.

Because an Autistic child rarely attends school (fewer then 30% have a functioning IQ high enough to pass entrance tests to qualify them for inclusion in standard classrooms) and because 73% of Autistic adults live in Nursing Homes, and because only 1 in every 10,000 people have Autism... this results in the fact that the average person, in their lifetime will never encounter an ACTUALLY Autistic person face to face.

Only 1 in every 17,000 people will ever meet a REAL ACTUALLY Autistic person in their lifetime.

This mean, in spite of the fact 1 in every 3 children are self-diagnosed as Autistic by parents with no clue what Autism actually is, you could drive through a dozen or more cities, visit every family in every city, and still, not cross paths with a single, solitary ACTUAL Autistic person.

The result is, when someone does encounter and ACTUALLY Autistic person, their first response, is to be repulsed, horrified, terrified, and viciously and violent attack and beat up the Autistic person with as much vigor and hatred possible.

While there are only 1 in every 10,000 Autistic and only 1 in every 17,000 people will ever encounter a real Autistic person, 1 in every 8 Autistic people will be murdered before reaching the age of 25, 1 on every 7 Autistic people will be bullied so badly that they commit suicide before age 30, and 1 in every 2 Autistic people will die by the age of 45

Lets do those numbers again...

  • 1 in every 10,000 people are ACTUALLY Autistic 
  • only 1 in every 17,000 people will ever encounter a real Autistic person
  • 1 in every 8 Autistic people will be murdered before the age of 25
  • 1 in every 7 Autistic people will commit suicide because of a bully
  • 1 in every 2 Autistic people will die by the age of 45

I have Autism.

Have I ever been bullied?

Let's see...


October 18, 2006 a bomb blew up my house, and a Ku Klux Klan cross left behind in the rubble, because I am perceived to be a transgender person in "a family friendly town".

May 10, 2010, members of the Saco Ward LDS Church, arrived in my yard and cut my car in half.

One night, November 14, 2013, while loading my art supplies into my car, after a day of painting the ocean, someone snuck up behind me, smashing my back, with what I do not know... a 4 door white truck, drove away... but they left me left me paralyzed for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. I'm crippled for the rest of my life, because I am transgender in Old Orchard Beach, and therefor do not deserve to live.

April 10, 2015, my motorhome, also known as "The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus" was broken into, filled with thousands of gallons of raw sewage, the furniture smashed, my clothes ripped up, and my cats kidnapped.

May 15, 2015, my cats were returned dissected, their cut off and nailed to my door.

January 7, 2016 - the 4 door white truck, was used as a weapon to try to kill me, yet again. Slamming into my car, while screaming out the window "Kill or be killed, remember Saco Shaw's all transsexuals are alike", doing more 75MPH on a 25MPH road.

June 10, 2016, the 4 door white truck, repeated this.

June 26, 2016 - while loading groceries into my car at WalMart, a woman came up behind me, took a shopping cat, and began beating me with it, while screaming "Kill or be killed, remember Saco Shaw's all transsexuals are alike". She ruptured 3 discs in my spine. She and a red haired woman who called herself "Kendra Silvermander" jumped into a gold Volvo suv and drove away. I was paralyzed once again.

January 4, 2016, the town of Old Orchard Beach passed and ordinance making it illegal to be transgender, gay, black, or Muslin, and forced 140 families out of their homes - not rentals, not apartments, but home owners, who owed no mortgages or taxes. More then 500 pets were confiscated by the Old Orchard Beach police department, most of them later returned to their owners chopped up returned one head at a time, because it was now illegal for LGBTQA+ citizens to own pets, because only "family friendly" families can own pets in Old Orchard Beach... the land of each of these families began to be auctioned off, to one motel owner... the same motel owner, who drove a back hoe over my house, August 8, 2013....the same motel owner who drive the 4-door white pick-up truck and who's wife drives a gold Volvo SUV.

July 2016 the FBI arrived in Old Orchard Beach.

October 18, 2016 the civil rights violating "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach" ordinance was overruled by Superior Court.The LGBTQA+ citizens of Old Orchard Beach were homeless for 9 months. 

The 4-door white truck, sits at the end of my driveway, every night at sunset... reeving his engine, squealing his wheels, and screaming gay hating obscenities out his window.

This picture was taken June 9, 2017:

The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.

Phrases he yells from the truck include:

"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"

"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"

if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"

He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"

My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autisn - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalised several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.

After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here:  https://youtu.be/NUebzJ9sz9U and here: https://youtu.be/C4dZbgG-Smw

This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.

As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.


Do You Know The Identity 
of the People Who Did These Things?
Have Information? 
Please Call FBI Agent 
Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322  


"There's nothing more debilitating about a disability than the way people treat you over it." 

— Solange nicole

This is the reality of being transgender in Old Orchard Beach.

This is the reality of what bullies do to someone with mental illnesses, they do not understand.

Someone with a mental illness, they do not just live with their illness, but they also live with people's reaction to it as well. This is some thing many writers fail to realize. And it's quite annoying, for those of us, who actually have to live with the illness they are writing about, to read their work and know, they've never lived with our illness, they don't know what it's like.

Everywhere I turn there's a new book misusing yet another mental illness. I hate how characters act normal until all a sudden a plot changes requires them to "act crazy" so suddenly they are acting crazy, then the plot device over and they act normal again.

Mental illness ain't like that, you can't turn it on and off whenever the plot needs it. 

Writers rarely get it right. And would like to see that changed.

People always ask me about my main character, from current series "Quaraun the Insane" asking, what is wrong with him? What mental illness does he have? How did you research it? How do you know what to write?

My answer?

I write what I know.

Quaraun acts like me, talks like me, dresses like me, and the bullies in the books? They do to Quaraun, what real life bullies have done to me.

Quaraun was crippled by bullies and now walks on a cane after months paralyzed and months relearning to walk, because I was crippled by bullies and now walk on a cane after months paralyzed and months relearning to walk.

Never once has someone with Autism trespassed in my yard. Thousands of self-diagnosed Aspies have. Never once has someone with Autism stalked me - at least 1 (the Kboards Hacker) a self-diagnosed Aspie stalked me for 10 years including to hack most of my online accounts, before eventually getting caught an going to prison. His reason in court for the viscous, violent criminal activities he did: "It's okay, I have Autism, my IQ is 138, I had to do it to prove I could." The other stalker who helped him, Kendra Silvermander, the one who blew up my house with a bomb, cut my cats heads off and nailed them to my door, and filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces, and is as yet currently unidentified and still on the lose, she is suspect by the FBI who is trying the find her, of also having Aspergers.

The worst ones of all are the Stephen King fans, Because I own the world's most haunted car, which Stephen King based Christine off of and because we are the Gypsies whose farm Thinner was filmed on, every summer my family is subjected to Stephen King fans, all proclaiming they have Autism, and since 1984, arriving in my yard in mass hoard of tens of thousands of screaming fangirls, do do monstrous levels of vandalism to my car and yard, all in the name of their love for Stephen King, and when asked to stop, they always say: "It's okay, I have Autism"... No, no you do not. I have Autism, and I know for a fact, no one with Autism does these things - they can't, but people with Aspergers do.





No, Your High IQ Is NOT An Excuse To Build Bombs 
Just To Prove You Are Smarter Then Every One Else!

There's a hell of a big difference between Autism and Self-Diagnosed Aspergers and when you place a patient of each, side by side, you can see it immediately, the vast differences between the two. 

Someone with Autism would never build a bomb and blow up your house.

Someone with  Self-Diagnosed Aspergers did:


No, Having Aspergers Is NOT An Excuse!
Proving You Are Smart By 
Dissecting Someone's Family Members 
Makes You a Sociopath 
Not An Intelligent Person With A Big Brain

Someone with Autism would never kidnap your cats, cut their heads off, and nail their heads to your door.

Someone with  Self-Diagnosed Aspergers did:



No, Having Aspergers Does NOT Excuse You!
Joining The Ku Klux Klan 
Does Not Make You "Part of the Group"
Promoting White Power
Does Not Make You Superior!
Harassing People Different From You, 
Doesn't Make You Smarter
It Makes You A Criminal!

Someone with Autism would never build a web site glorifying the Ku Klux Klan and calling people to action to kill the "bugger fagots" of Old Orchard Beach.

Someone named "Tom Addams" a self proclaimed "internet marketing guru" with Aspergers did:


Having Aspergers Does NOT Give You 
The Right To Be A Bully

Someone with Autism would never cut your car in half.

Someone with  Self-Diagnosed Aspergers did:



Do You Know The Identity 
of the People Who Did These Things?
Have Information? 
Please Call FBI Agent 
Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322  


Can you see the difference between ACTUAL Autism and self diagnosed Asperger's yet?



You remember the Autistic walk we talked about earlier? I used to do that. Hoping and skipping and dancing and twirling... bullies beat me up, for no reason at all, attacked me from behind, I don't even know who they were... 

I'm a woman who has had 7 miscarriages, and wears "elaborate clothes". Because I have no children, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, beat me up, calling me a transsexual, claiming only a man would dress like I do, claiming that the reason I have no children is because I'm not really female.

They left me paralyzed and crippled. 

They crushed my hips, my pelvis, and my spine, and took away, what little chance I had to carry a pregnancy to full term.

I'm crippled for the rest of my life. I can barely walk now. It's why I'm now on a cane. Any hope I had of having children is gone now.

That's the reality, of the gay hatred of this town. 

I have Autism. I wear pink. I wear glitter. I talk with a "funny gay sounding voice".

According to the people in this town:

I walk like a fag...

talk like a fag...

dress like a fag...

act like a fag...

and therefor must be treated like a fag...

I need to be taught my place...

I deserve to be shot in the head...

I look gay, and therefore I must be, 

because no one but gay men, talk in this voice

no one but gay men wear pink

no one but gay men wear glitter

no one but gay men prance instead of walk...

so they beat me up, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they cut my car in half, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they put a bomb in my house, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they filled my motorhome with feces, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they kidnapped my cats, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they drove a back hoe over my house, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they cut my cats heads off and nailed their heads to my door, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

because I have Autism

and that makes me "too gay for the family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"

I used to dance when I walked... but after 5 months paralyzed, 18 months relearning to walk, and now 4 years later, my leg is lame and I am crippled, barely able to stand, dragging a lame leg, I'll never dance again.

Do you know what that's like?

Can you even begin to imagine?

To be an Autistic person, who can no longer dance when I walk?

They hate gay men so much, that they are willing to beat up a childless autistic women, in ill health, accusing her of being a transvestite.

Because these evil people took away my ability to have children, I had cats; but they took my cats, and cut off their heads, and nailed them to my door.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach. The gay-hating capital of Maine.

This is the reality of how Autistics are seen by the world.

This is the reality of how Autistics are treated by "normal" people.

This is the reality of being transgender in Old Orchard Beach.

This is the reality of what bullies do to someone with mental illnesses, they do not understand.

This is the reality of living with Autism.

Find out more here.


Do You Know The Identity 
of the People Who Did These Things?
Have Information? 
Please Call FBI Agent 
Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322  


Someone with a mental illness, they do not just live with their illness, but they also live with people's reaction to it as well. This is some thing many writers fail to realize. And it's quite annoying, for those of us, who actually have to live with the illness they are writing about, to read their work and know, they've never lived with our illness, they don't know what it's like...

...because not only do they make their characters act wrong... they make other characters' reactions to the mentally ill character wrong as well.


Advertisement:

Autistics Being Bullied In The Quaraun Series

BoomFuzzy the Unicorn starts out the series as a bully. Like every one else he is quick to target and victimize the strange Elf. Often bullying him because Quaraun is so terrified of everything.

In fact their very first meeting is a violent rape scene, with Quaraun on his way home, stopping to sleep for the night in a make shit camp off the side of the rod, only to be woken up in the middle of the night, by being dragged out of bed, stripped naked, and raped by BoomFuzzy. The Phooka is a viscous predator and attacks the Elf intending to kill him and eat him, after raping him, but let's him go after tasting his blood and realizing the Elf is infected by a Thullid.

At first the Phooka thinks of it as a game and doesn't realize how badly Quaraun is being traumatized by the bullying. His initial perception of it s to think that Quaraun actually is enjoying the treatment he is getting, because Quaraun puts so little effort into fighting back. He doesn't realize the Elf is too scared to fight back or that Quaraun fears being killed if he fights back and so complies while being raped, hoping that by doing so he'll be allowed to live. (This entire rape scene is available to read online.)

BoomFuzzy rapes Quaraun multiple times, before he realizes that Quaraun is not actually consenting to the sex. It is not until he sees others doing the same: over and over again, and realizes Quaraun is daily being tortured and tormented by people who see him as too stupid to bother caring about. BoomFuzzy regrets having raped the Elf and tried to become Quaraun's friend. He begins to realize the Elf has no friends and goes from one day to the next, dodging bullies, hiding. He soon discovers Quaraun is starving to death, s his own family are the worst bullies of all, rarely allowing the stupid Elf to eat with them, often feeding him with the dogs where he has to fight for scraps, and forcing him to sleep in cold, damp dungeons below the castle, because he's not deemed worthy to be part of the family.

"Yis a skinny lil Elf, ain't cha?" BoomFuzzy said.

"Yeah," Quaraun agreed.

"Is ya hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Here."

BoomFuzzy handed the injured Elf a chocolate covered apricot.

"One must never take food from strangers," Quaraun said nervously as he rocked back and forth.

"I is BoomFuzzy."

"Yeah."

"Ya knows me."

"Yeah."

"I is no stranger."

Quaraun didn't respond.

"Here." 

BoomFuzzy put the candied fruit in the Elf's trembling hand.

"When be de last time ya dids ate somet'ing?"

"I don't know."

"Ya does nay know?"

"No."

"How come t'at for?"

"The dogs don't always let me eat."

"De dogs?"

"Yeah."

"W'at dogs?"

"My father's dogs."

"Ya eats wid de dogs?"

"Yeah."

"Why would ya do t'at?"

"I'm too stupid to eat at the table."

"Says who?"

"My father."

In trying to escape the daily abuse from his father and uncle, Quaraun often flees the castle to the forest, but getting from one to the other requires crossing the village, where he is constantly cornered and ganged up on by other Elves, who single him out and beat him up. He is frequently stripped naked, dragged through the streets by horses, and tied upside-down in trees for villagers to through rocks at him.

BoomFuzzy begins to regret his own similar actions and starts defending the Elf from the bullies. However one day Quaraun is nearly killed by a mob of bullying villagers, and would have been left to die in the streets, had someone not taken him in. That someone was BoomFuzzy who nursed the injured Elf back to health and went on to be his caretaker. As a result of this event, Quaraun is left badly scarred, and with crippling bone fractures that never heal properly, leaving him with a lame leg and a bad limp.

It was several hours later, when the sun had gone down, that Quaraun found himself once again hanging upside down, his time by his ankles from the limb of a tree. The guards and the villagers had gone off some distance away to watch and wait to see if the Phooka would be attracted to the smell of the poor Elf's blood, which was still running down his body and pooling into a sticky mess in the dirt below.

"You're sure this is the place?" A guard asked one of the villagers.

"Yes, it was right here, I remember, because you could just see the gingerbread house over the hi', over there, see. There it is."

The villager pointed and the other, looked. BoomFuzzy's house was just in sight. His was the farthest house in the village, isolated, alone and by itself our here at the edge of the forests the guards and villagers continued chatting when they were intended by a voice from behind them.

"Helloooo!" A cheerful voice said from inches behind them.

"ARRGH!"

The Elves all screamed and jumped and turned, ready to attack, but relaxed when they saw the old half Elf BoomFuzzy standing there.

"What is ya doing?"

"We're trying to catch a Phooka."

"A Phooka? Oh my! Are there Phookas round here?"

"Where've you been that you don't know whats going on?"

"In me wee little shoppie. Do'na come very often. Ain't got no reason too."

"Then what are you doing out here now?"

"I heard a commotion. Ya be a noisy lot. Came out to see what's what un saw ya hanging ya prince up in a tree all sliced and bloody. He see better daes, poor thing."

"Quaraun? Dirty bugger's getting what's coming to him."

"And what be that?"

"Using him as bait to catch the Phooka."

"Why would ya want to catch one of them for?"

"Gibedon's army is marching down on the valley. They'll be in a few days. The king figures, we can slow them up, give us time to escape, if we can catch the Phooka that travels ahead of them, before they get here. One's been seen around here. We're gonna kill it."

"Are ya now? How does ya plan to do that?"

"We're gonna use Quaraun here as bait. Phookas are attacked to Elf blood, he's bleeding all over kingdom come right now."

"I can sees that. what happened to him?"

"He's gone breaking laws again, like usual."

"Really, Oh for crying shame. What'd he do this time?"

"Went and got himself a male lover. Can you imagine that?"

"No, Really?"

BoomFuzzy walked over to Quaraun and cocked his head upside down to look Quaraun in the eye properly.

"Ya do get yaself in an awful lot of trouble don't ya?. And ya keep ending up in trees."

Quaraun said nothing. He hurt too much to talk and was dizzy from hanging upside down with the blood rushing to his head. But he remained emotionless. Not crying. Not screaming. Just seething with anger and hatred for every last Moon Elf and thinking how much he really just wanted every Moon Elf to drop dead.

BoomFuzzy strolled back over to the gang of Elves. 

"Tell me, this Phooka, how ya all plan to catch it?"

"With Quaraun."

"Aye. Ya using Quaraun for bait, but when the Phooka comes to take ya bait, what ya do to catch the beast?"

"Well, we'll wait for it to come out and then when it goes after Quaraun, we'll all be here to grab it."

"Ah. Just grab it, eh?"

"Yeah."

"Ya tinks ya do that, eh?"

"Sure." 

"Does ya even know what a Phooka looks like?"

"Uhm...no. Do you?"  The Elf asked his friends.

The Elves all looked at each other, shaking their heads.

"So, none of yas has ever seen a Phooka. None of yas knows what to watch for and ya don't have a plan for how yis goona catch it when it gets here. Interesting."

"How hard could it be to catch?"

"Ya do know Phookas is shape shifters, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"What makes ya tinks twall go after Quaraun and not ya fellas?"

"Quaraun's half dead. Look at how much blood there is on the ground. No clue what's keeping him alive, any other Elf would have died by now. He just keep lingering on no matter what anyone does to him."

"I has noticed that aboot him. One would almost tinks he has no need for the blood in hims veins. Like a little baby Thullid slug, curled up safely in an empty snail's shell of a skull, growing it's tentacles and waiting to hatch, he doesn't seem to have much need for hims body to function otherwise. Just needs to keep that skull intact."

"What are you talking about?"

"It be hard to kill a Thullid ya know. They is kind of invincible. Even iffy ya kill the host body, they'll just crawl out of the skull and latch on to the next nearest skull they can find, squeeze up in through ya nostril or ear, or drill a hole in ya head, suck out ya brain and build themselves a nice new little nest inside ya head."

"Who's talking about Thullids? We was talking about Phookas."

"No. Ya was talking aboot how Quaraun ain't dying up there even though ya gutted him like pig and hung hims upside down in a tree, and is laughing while ya watch every last drop of blood drain from hims body."

"We should hang him up in a tree too," one Elf said to another. "That's Quaraun's lover, ya know. The old candy maker, there."

"I is and I does no like what ya done to me Elf."

"Yeah, well, you get out of the way and go back to pulling your taffy, Old Man. We got a Phooka to catch."

"Ya frigging stupid Elves. Ya really tinks ya can catch a Phooka?""

There's five of us and only one of it and we..."

"It?"

"What?"

"Ya called me an it."

"Hey you ain't one of them Faerie lovers are you? There petitioning for Faerie rights'?"

"Oh no. why would I do that?"

BoomFuzzy stared at Quaraun again, then turned back to the men.

"Here's a question. Does any of yas know what a Phooka looks like?"

The Elves all looked at each other.

"Never seen one before have you?."

"How ya plan to know one when ya sees it, if ya do'na know what it looks like?"

"Oh we'll know it."

"Really? Ya tinks? They is shape shifters. Can be anything or anyone. That tree ya hung Quaraun in, it could be a Phooka waiting to pounce. Or any one of ya could be a Phooka, biding his time waiting for the others tO fall asleep and kills ya all."

The men started exchanged worried glances.

"Oh I could be a Phooka."

They all looked at BoomFuzzy.

"I could be the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley himself, standing here talking to ya, getting ye guard down, waiting to pull a machete out of me robes and cut all ya heads off in a single swipe."

The Elves were all staring wide eyed at BoomFuzzy now. BoomFuzzy burst at laughing. And the Elves getting the joke all relaxed and laughed with him, but BoomFuzzy suddenly stopped laughing and stood looking very grave as they continued to laugh. While they continued laughing and began joking at the idea that the old man might be a Phooka. BoomFuzzy pulled a machete out of his robes while the Elves laughed.

"Of course, it could be that I wasn't joking, and I really am the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley himself, snuck into ya village disguised as an Elf, and I do'na likes what ya all dids to me lover Quaraun."

The Elves stopped laughing and turned back to BoomFuzzy, just in time to see him transform out of his Moon Elf glimmer and into his blacked eyed, black haired, sharp fanged, gazelle horned, long taloned real form. The nearest one lunged to grab the Phooka but BoomFuzzy was faster and the guard's head went rolling across the ground.

"Ya gonna have to be faster then that boy. If you want to catch a Phooka. Keep that up and ya all lose ya heads."

The other four Elves turned and ran, but none of them made it more then a few feet before all of them were also headless.

"Tsk. Tsk. Silly Elves, tinks they can out smart the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley."

The Phooka put the machete away and strolled back over to Quaraun.

"Ya look a frightful mess, ya do. Me poor little Elf, what dids they do to ya? They gone and cut ya up." 

The Phooka's gaze went to the Elf's mutilated groin. 

"Ya poor thing. That could no have felt very nice. Let me see if I can get ya down outa this here tree without dropping ya on ya head this time."

Moments later BoomFuzzy had Quaraun back at the gingerbread house and carefully tending to his wounds.

~ BoomFuzzy (Volume 3 of The Quaraun series)

Because of the abuse he is subjected to, Quaraun develops phobias of everything that reminds him of any of the bullies. These phobias seriously limit his ability to live any quality of life.

Quaraun's quality of life changes when BoomFuzzy takes him in and starts caring for him. For the first time Quaraun is faced with knowing that not everyone is a mean evil bully and not every one is trying to hurt him. BoomFuzzy however is very old, very depressed, and in very poor health. One day when defend Quaraun from another attack, BoomFuzzy suffers a stab wound to the belly, which becomes infected and being a battle front solider, he has seen wounds like this before and knows he will linger on in agony for months before dying. Already in more pain then he can bare, BoomFuzzy commits suicide to end his suffering. Quaraun is devastated by the loss of his friend and becomes a recluse, barely able to function at all. 

Without BoomFuzzy, Quaraun is barely able to survive and becomes wild and feral, living in the mountains. It is during this time period that people dub him "Quaraun the Insane".

It is not until BoomFuzzy returns from the dead, now a Lich, and becomes Quaraun's fierce guardian and protector, that you start to see Quaraun able to function in society.


I think one of the most baffling things of all, is the alarming amount of readers - more then 80% of them - who have stated they considered the Quaraun series to be Erotica.

Yes, there are graphic sex scenes in just about every volume, but they are not happy or enjoyable for Quaraun. Several volumes contain gang rape scenes where multiple men, often drunk, drag him off the street, beat him up, then rape him over and over and over and over again. Yes, if 12 men are raping him, you see the whole thing for all 12 of them, 12 men cumming in and on him, and the horror going through his mind the hole time. A gang rape scene can spread on for as many as 50 pages of steady none stop rape.

The entire thing beginning to end shows Quaraun's absolute terror of the 12 men who are raping him. A short clip from this very long, drawn out rape scene is below:

"Look how smooth he is," said one man as he rubbed his hands all over Quaraun's chest.

"No breasts though," another crewman said mournfully. "I like women with big titties. Ain't getting those from a man in a dress no matter how smooth he is."

"Nah, just pretend he's a little girl who hasn't started to bud yet." The man pinched the Elf's pierced nipples as he spoke.

"Hah! That ain't gonna be hard. He's smaller then a little girl."

"I can't wait to fuck that tight little ass of his. It's gonna feel like I'm fucking a young virgin that ain't had her first period yet."

He's bleeding like woman already.”

Quaraun tried the squirm out of their hands, but there was too many of them holding him in too many places. He was terrified. He knew he was badly injured and if they raped him right now, they would make the wound far worse.

One man, suddenly grabbed hold of the chains connecting from Quaraun's nose rings to his ear rings.

"You stop squirming like that right now or I'll pull these chains off that pretty face of yours. I'll rip your nose and ears right off, I swear I will. Mess your face up good. You just lay back and take it, you hear?"

Quaraun did not answer, but he stopped struggling against the men. Vanity was a weakness of his. The whole ship had figured that out the first day he was on board. The threat of damaging his perfectly, flawless face was enough to get him to stop moving and allow the men to continue squeezing his genitals, rubbing his bum, fingering his bleeding ass, and twisting his nipples without farther complaint.

Quaraun closed his eyes and prayed that they would finish quickly and leave. He could feel a finger push up all the way inside of his anus, then he felt another, and another. Three men were each poking their index fingers as deep into him as they could and laugh each time he squealed or tightened his muscles on their fingers.

"Damn, he's tight."

Quaraun opened his eyes when he felt a wetness against his ass and realized one of the men was licking him and then stuck his young up inside. Quaraun bucked again the man and once again tried to escape, while begging the men to stop, but one of the men grabbed the thin silver chains on his face again, pulling firmly on them, threatening to rip out his nose piercings, and Quaraun obediently stopped struggling once again.

~From "Captain Quirk and The Pirate Ship Rent-A-Prize" (Volume 12 of The Quaraun series)

How is that scene, which goes on for almost 20 pages, seen as Erotica, I do not know. But that scene and others like it are hailed by fans of the series as being "some of the best erotica ever written".

It is rare for a rape scene in the Quaraun series to last for fewer then 10 pages.

This is NOT Erotica. It is absolute pure psychological terror as the reader experiences the entire rape beginning to end, right along with Quaraun.

I'm sorry, but you have to see it from the perspective of someone with Autism... me.

I have Autism. Like Quaraun I am also asexual and have no sex drive at all. I can not grasp any understanding of how a rape scene can be seen as erotic. I can not understand why the rape scenes in the Quaraun series are said by readers to be "some of the best erotica" they ever read.

How is it erotic?

What about these scenes is sexually exciting?

What is is about 12 drunk men, cumming in and on another man over and over and over and over and over again that people find erotic?

I do not understand.

The sex scenes in the Quaraun series are horrific tales of abuse, violation, torture, and bullying gone the point of bodily violation.

After each rape scene Quaraun is left deeply traumatized, often injured. 

In the 12 man gang rape scene above, he suffered serious internal injuries when one man violated him with a dagger, causing serious, life threatening anal/intestinal stab wounds.

By the end of that rape scene Quaraun is unconscious, serious injured, and left in the gutter to bleed to death.

There is nothing erotic about 12 rapists, bullying a mentally handicapped Autistic man who isn't able to fight back or defend himself.

How do people find the scenes like this sexual arousing or erotic, I do not know.

The Quaraun series is not Erotica on any levels at all and yet, I get hundreds of fan emails saying how much they love the "over the top, extreme BDSM" scenes of the Quaraun serious.

A mentally handicapped man is being sexually tortured by hateful bullies - that's NOT BDSM. That's abuse and rape and the most horrific violation of privacy that can be committed to an Autistic person.

It's not Erotica, it's absolute Horror. Sheer terror on the worst levels imaginable.

GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover is the first time you see Quaraun having fully consensual, non-violent, loving sex with any one. It's the first volume t show a sex scene with him and GhoulSpawn.

Happy, loving, kind, consensual sex scenes are almost completely nonexistent in the Quaraun series. The only time you ever see Quaraun fully consenting to sex is with GhoulSpawn. GhoulSpawn is as gentle and delicate as Unicorn is viscous and violent.

While there are many sex scene with Unicorn, Unicorn is sadistic and takes great delight in sexual torture, which Quaraun never fully submits to and only allows because he doesn't feel he has a choice.

GhoulSpawn on the other hand is the lover, who became a lover after many years of a close friendship.

Quaraun has 4 wives over the course of the series. Only one of them he actually loves.

Quaraun's first wife is his sister, whom he was forced to marry, by his evil father. Both his sister and his fater are power hungry for the throne. His father's older brother is the king, but he himself has no children and had named his nephew (Quaraun) next to be king, which is the case of most of his father's animosity towards him, as he felt he should have been picked.

His father comes up with a plot to force Quaraun to marry his sister, then wait for a son to be born from that union. Quaraun's son would be the automatic heir. The plan was to once e fathered a son, then kill Quaraun.

However, Quaraun refused to marry his sister, and wen the marriage was forced on him, he refused to consummate the marriage, which his father cured by holding Quaraun down while his sister/first wife raped him. This rape scene takes place graphically on the page. This event is repeated over and over again until his sister/wife eventual gives birth to 4 children.

Knowing that his father and sister are plotting to kill him and with no one believing him or helping him, Quaraun ends up killing his father and sister/wife the night before they were going to kill him (part of this chapter is available to read online).

His second wife was a Human. A pregnant nurse who took care of him after he falls through a portal to the future and was beaten up by strangers. Days before he is released from the hospital, the nurse's abusive ex arrives and beats her up, killing her unborn baby. Quaraun takes the traumatized woman with him when he leaves the hospital and finds a portal back to his own time. He feels no love for her, but rather pities her, seeing how traumatized she is by the lose of her baby and now being stuck in the 1400s. In his mind the best way to fix the problem is to take her as his wife and replace the baby with another one. There is a 2 year period where he and Unicorn are separated and Quaraun is living with his Human wife and half-Elf daughter.

The sex scenes between Quaraun and his 2nd wife are consensual, but mild, vanilla, and infrequent and cease once she becomes pregnant, as he had no sexual attraction to her and his only goal was to give her a baby to replace the one that died. After the baby his a few months old, he leaves her and returns to Unicorn. He continues to visit her and the baby and provides her with a home, something which baffles Unicorn as Quaraun never tells Unicorn this is his wife and child. Unfortunately a war is going on in the region and the village is razed, the wife murdered and the baby kidnapped.

It is in this story (A Baby For The Necromancer) that Quaraun receives his crippling back, hip, leg, and knee injury that leaves him paralyzed for months, then crippled and on a cane for the rest of his life, and is in fact the eact same injury I have.

Quaraun spends decades in a fruitless search to find his daughter. Eventually he gives up hope and assumes she is dead.


The most brutal and graphic rape scenes of all are in Zebulon's Captive... the back cover blurb of which is follows:

=============

It was a beautiful sunny, summer morning, when Quaraun's world turned very, very dark. 

With the three wizards, Quaraun, BoomFuzzy, and GhoulSpawn now living together at Black Tower, life has become peaceful and quiet. BoomFuzzy free to cook to his heart's content, GhoulSpawn lost in reading his books, and Quaraun tending his every growing rose garden...

One second everything was normal and then next, Quaraun vanished without a trace. Swallowed by a multi dimensional portal that swept away every Elf on the planet, from every where, all at once.

The Elves find themselves in the distant future, imprisoned by a madman named Zebulon. Slave trader. Zookeeper. Side show ring master. Elf breeder.

Quaraun, ever the peaceful non-violent hippie of an Elf, takes a complacent stance to the abuse he receives at the hands of the Humans, refusing to fight back or defend himself.

When Quaraun finds his missing half-Elf daughter, now an adult and being used as a breeder, repeatedly raped and tortured, his complacently wanes, given way to wrath unleashed on every Human he meets.

Leaving a bloody trail of bodies in his path, Quaraun takes his daughter and escapes, eventually finding his way back to his own time...

But time moves differently in different dimensions, and while for BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn only 7 days have gone by... each day here, was 10 years there for Quaraun, who has now aged by nearly a 100 years, is now married to his half-Elf daughter, and is no longer the gentle, peaceful, kind hearted, loving Elf they once knew.

=============

In Zebulon's Captive you see Quaraun (a rare breed of Elf) used as breeder, by viscous Human slave drivers who brutally punish him when he refused to breed with the female Elves. His already fragile mind is torn apart by being forced to rape young girls against his will. The discovery that one of the girls was his missing daughter shattered what little sanity the, now very ancient, Elf had left.

My Two Favorite People is the same story as "Zebulon's Captive"... This is the story told from BoomFuzzy's perspective and takes place at Black Tower...

=============

One second everything was normal and then next, Quaraun vanished without a trace. Swallowed by a multi dimensional portal that swept away every Elf on the planet, from every where, all at once.

At first assuming their friend was whisked away into a portal, BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn try desperately to find Quaraun, but when they discover every Elf on the planet has gone missing, they know dark magic is a foot.

For 7 frantic days they try to find out what happened, and then, as suddenly as he vanished, Quaraun returned... his face scared beyond recognition, his hands burned to the bone, and his tongue cut out.

But time moves differently in different dimensions, and while for BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn only 7 days have gone by... each day here, was 10 years there for Quaraun, who has now aged by nearly a 100 years, is now married to his half-Elf daughter, and is no longer the gentle, peaceful, kind hearted, loving Elf they once knew.

Now crippled beyond any ability to function on his own, Quaraun is cared for by a pregnant near-feral half-Elf who viciously defends him and refuses to let either BoomFuzzy or GhoulSpawn near him.

Unable to discover what has happened to their beloved Moon Elf, BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn call on the help of GhoulSpawn's future self to find out what happened.

The Gremlin has nothing good to tell them, when he reveals that they are now on a count down to the Battle of Ongadada, which is less the 9 months away, and happen the day Quaraun watches his pregnant wife and unborn baby die.

This is the story that introduces Quaraun as the Grand High Emperor of the Triple Planets, the evil, serial killing Necromancer who builds the blood thirsty, flesh eating, Twighlight Manor, and goes on to become the primary villain of The Twighlight Manor series.

===============



The Quaraun series is the prequal back story to the Twighlight Manor series that I had written in the 1970s. Quaraun is the unnamed Pink Necromancer of the Twighlight Manor series. The Quaraun series tells the story of how he became the evil Necromancer he would eventually become...

.... is becoming the viscous villain of the Twighlight Manor series, was a result of his finally saying enough was enough. He was sick of being bullied. Sick of being taken advantage of. Sick of people hurting hi. Sick of being raped over and over again. And when he finally fought back, he went on to punish every one in the galaxy by killing 30 billion people across 3 separate planets.... to ensure that there was no one left out there to rape him again.

Decades of bullies raping him over and over again, are what drove the quiet, gentle, kind hearted, peaceful, ever loving little Elf, to go on his vicious blood thirsty rampage in the Twighlight Manor series.

Rape is not erotic.

Rape hurts people.

Rape is a mean, terrible, ugly thing.

Rape destroys lives.

1 in every 5 people with Autism will be raped in their life time.

1 in every 3 Autistic people raped will be raped by a close family member by the time they are 8 years old.

1 in every 9 Autistic people will have been raped 20 or more times by the time they are 30 years old.

Readers often dub Quaraun as "the gay Elf wizard".

Many readers of the Quaraun series classify the series as "gay Erotica".

Quaraun is not gay.

Quaraun is with BoomFuzzy because BoomFuzzy raped him and then later felt guilt about it and tried to make up for it by becoming Quaraun's caretaker.

BoomFuzzy continues to sexually abuse Quaraun through out his entire life.

Quaraun does not have the mental ability to understand love and sex, and remained BoomFuzzy's lover in a twisted Stockhlm Syndrome relationship, of victim being loyal to his rapist.

Because Quaraun his Autistic, he lacks the ability to understand how to avoid situations, places, and people who will abuse and take advantage of him, resulting in he is frequently bullied, beaten, molested, and raped by strangers.

Throughout the entire series, GhoulSpawn is there, trying to convince Quaraun that BoomFuzzy is an abuser not a lover, but Quaraun is too confused to understand the difference between love and possessive sexual abuse.


Quaraun cried out in pain as the Phooka's long razor sharp talons dug deep into his chest, tearing at the flesh and clipping his rib bones. This sudden violence from his lover was unexpected and terrified that Elf as he knew the beast was no longer playing and was truly and dangerously angry.

"Unicorn, you're hurting me," Quaraun wailed. "Please stop. Please."

Quaraun began to struggle desperately against the Phooka, trying to break free of it's grasp, but Quaraun was smaller and weaker then the average Elf and Unicorn had the strength of ten strong and healthy Elves. A sudden panic that the monster was about to kill him, filled the frightened Elf's terrified mind, as he felt the creature's many rows of piranha like fangs sinking into his throat tearing away the flesh, causing the Elf's blood to bleed out profusely.

"Ya both gets excited over the other," Unicorn said. 

Quaraun could sense a hurt, jealous tone in his voice.

"Unicorn, I'm not..." Quaraun started to say.

"Yes ya are. I has keen sense of smell. Ya scent change when ya is sexual aroused. And ya is sexually aroused every time him show up."

Unicorn pointed an accusing finger at GhoulSpawn.

"I haven't done anything," GhoulSpawn said, backing away.

"I did no says ya did. I'd know iffy ya had. I can tells ya every one ya has fucked. I can smell their scent lingering on ya. I can smell ya scent lingering on them. Ya like the bar maids quiet a lot. Ya spends more time with them then ya wants others to know. And ya like me Elf. Ya goes erect every time him nears ya."

"I like women..." GhoulSpawn started to say.

"And me Elf here likes being a woman. Him prettier then any female, dressed fancier then any peacock, and the men folk are always chasing after him not knowsing him got a pair o balls under that dress. Ya knows him a male and ya hasing erections over him any ways. Not many males do that. But ya does. And normally that would no bother me, 'cepting him is as horny over ya as ya is over hims. That I does no like."

"I should leave," GhoulSpawn said nervously.

"Don't," Quaraun said. "You're not doing anything. He's being jealous, that's his problem not your's."

"I don't want to cause a problem..."

"You're not. You don't have to leave."

"That does no help the issue, ya defending him."

"UNICORN! Can you stop being so damn possessive of me."

"Bubbidy, buddidi, boom, baboshkie."

"Unicorn..."

"Can ya stop having erections over him?"

Unicorn pointed to GhoulSpawn again.

"I'm no..."

"Ya is." 

Unicorn grabbed hold of the Elf's dick through his dress. Quaraun yelped, chocking back a scream of pain, and quickly pushed Unicorn's hand away. The scars made Quaraun's penis overly sensitive to touch. Unicorn knew this and had intentionally yanked on the Elf much harder then was necessary. Quaraun blushed and turned away from GhoulSpawn.

"Unicorn, please don't do this."

"Fuck, damn it, fuck, frigging, fuck, suck balls! I am so tired of ya acting like a tramp!"

"Don't talk to me like that!" Quaraun screamed and raised his hand to slap Unicorn across the face.

Unicorn was faster and caught the Elf's hand, twisted is back behind him, and punched the Elf in the stomach. Quaraun doubled over in pain and sunk down to his knees whimpering.

"Ya fucking cock ass slut! How dare ya try to hit me! Dontcha dare ever raise ya voice to me again. Ya're mine remember. I own ya, not the other way around."

"Unicorn," Quaraun winced as he spoke, afraid the Phooka would hit him again. "I'm with you, alright? I'm not with him. I'm with you. Will you stop acting like a jealous bitch?"

"Jealous bitch? Yar the one prancing around like a half naked hussy, flaunting yarself in front of him like a dime a dozen whore!"

"I'm not flaunting myself for anybody," the frightened Elf whimpered. "I'm with you, Unicorn. I'm not trying to replace you. I know you've been cheated on before. But that's not me. I'm not cheating on you. I love you. I'm not with him. I'm not trying to be with him. I'm with you. Calm down. Please, calm down. There's nothing going on between me and GhoulSpawn. Okay?"

"I know there is nothing yet," Unicorn snarled as he continued to twist Quaraun's arm. "But ya acting like ya want there to be and I does nae like that. Ya belong to me and ya need to start acting like it."

"Please, Unicorn, you're hurting me."

"I'll do worse to ya if ya ever cheat on me."

"I know that. I'm not your first lover. I know what happened to the others. I'm not going to cheat on you."

"Ya cock was saying ya wanted to."

"I didn't do anything."

"Make sure ya does not."

Unicorn let go of Quaraun's arm. The Elf nursed his arm, but did not dare to stand back up. Blood was still oozing from the wounds in his neck, shoulder, and chest.

Unicorn turned into his true form, that of a shaggy black Shetland Pony with a gleaming silver horn. The little pony, snorted an angry whinny and then galloped out of the room. Screams could be heard from the dinning room below, as the enraged unicorn slaughtered the dinners with his horn. Quaraun sat on the floor, his back leaned against the bed and shook his head sadly.

"Is he killing people down there," GhoulSpawn asked.

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"He could have killed you."

"I know, but he didn't."

"He's so violent."

"Yeah. He is. I don't think he realizes it, either. He doesn't seem to be aware, how much stronger he is then me. He's old and weak, so he doesn't think about it, because he knows he not strong anymore. The problem is, even a weak Phooka has strength beyond what a strong Elf can fight."

"He's a monster. You shouldn't be with him. You two aren't even sexually compatible."

"I love him."

"Why?"

"Does love need a reason?"

"He's an animal. You keep something like that for a pet, you don't let it mate with you."

~From "The Summoner of Darkness" (Volume 11 of The Quaraun series)

GhoulSpawn is himself frequently bullied, abused, and raped by BoomFuzzy, in a viscous lovers triangle, of BoomFuzzy deliberately tormenting GhoulSpawn to try to chase him away, and GhoulSpawn trying to rescue Quaraun from BoomFuzzy's obsessive dominance. Quaraun and GhoulSpawn eventually become lovers as a result of this, which triggers BoomFuzzy to become brutally violent to both of them, on several occasions beaten either of them close to death.

 GhoulSpawn was on the ground, trying to shield his face from the blows, with his arms as Unicorn sat on top of the half-Elf punching him over and over again. Quaraun didn't know what to do. Unicorn was had many times his strength. Even he and GhoulSpawn together did not have half the strength of the undead Phooka.

Quaraun looked around wondering if there was anything he could use to help the half-Elf, but his attention was brought back to the fight when he heard GhoulSpawn's gurgled, chocking screams. Unicorn now had his hands clenched tight on the Sun Elf's throat, strangling him. The poor half-Elf was struggling desperately against the undead beast. Quaraun knew he had to do something to break them up before Unicorn killed GhoulSpawn.

"No! Please!" Quaraun cried as he scrambled to his feet and ran to Unicorn, grabbing hold of his shoulders and trying to pulling him off GhoulSpawn. "Please don't hurt him. Stop. Please stop. Please!"

Unicorn let go of GhoulSpawn, briefly. Long enough to swing around and punch Quaraun, knocking the Moon Elf to the ground.

GhoulSpawn was gasping and chocking, trying to breath, too dizzy to get away, before Unicorn pounced on him again, this time biting the half-Elf, sinking his fangs deep into GhoulSpawn's throat drawing blood.

"No!" Quaraun screamed. "Don't! Please don't!"

Quaraun knew the Vampire Lich would tear the half-Elf apart in seconds, if he didn't do something to stop the enraged undead creature. Quaraun's mind was reeling as he tried to think of what to do, how to stop the angry Phooka was eating his friend.

~From "GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun series)

The Quaraun series is not about a gay man's sexual journey...

The Quaraun series is about an Autistic man's struggle to survive in a world that if filled with depraved, bullies and abusers who hurt him over and over again.

Which is why I have said over and over again, the Quaraun series is Literary Slice of Life Fiction more then any other genre.


See here for more information on the graphic scenes of Suicide, Rape, and a Abuse in the Quaraun series.

Advertisement:

Autistic Insanity In The Quaraun Series 

Autistic Stereotypy, Tics, Stimming, and Punding:

Throughout the Quaraun series you see multiple characters doing various Stereotypy, Tics, Stimming, and Punding.

Though it was not intentionally written into the story, readers have asked me if BoomFuzzy the Unicorn might possibly have Tourette syndrome and/or Bi-Polar Disorder. I do not know what Unicorn "has", as I never tried to make him "have" anything and therefore never researched anything for him to "have".

However, looking into this, it does appear I may have unintentionally written his as having both Tourette syndrome and/or Bi-Polar Disorder, as, as readers have pointed out, he does have a vast amount of symptoms of both. I bring it up here, because of one symptom he has which stands out far above and beyond the rest, and has been the source of many complaints by critics of the Quaraun series:

  • Coprolalia (the spontaneous utterance of socially objectionable or taboo words or phrases)

Yes, this is a very clear issue with BoomFuzzy the Unicorn and his over use of the words fuck, dick, penis, and every sexual explicative he can think of to say, for absolutely no reason at all other then to say them as much as possible, as often as possible, on every single page of every single novel. It is Unicorn's mouth that gives the series it's M-Rating more then for any other reason. When I designed him, I did so saying "He's from Biddeford, I have to make him talk like the rest of the 26,000 people who live in Biddeford". I actually was unaware this was a Stereotypy with an actual name, but it is.

My question now, is: Is it possible that all 26,000 residents of Biddeford, Maine suffer from Coprolalia?

"Oh go suck a dick, ya fucking shit head bastard," Unicorn snarled.

"You shouldn't talk like that," GhoulSpawn started to say.

"I can talks any damn way I wants ta. Kcuf! Kcuf! Kcuf! Kcuf! Kcuf! Kcid a kcus! Kcuf!"

GhoulSpawn stared at Unicorn and then turned to Quaraun.

"What did he just say?"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, suck a dick, fuck. Backwards," Quaraun said without looking up from his embroidery. "At least he didn't say it in pig Latin."

"Oh."

Unicorn suddenly started screaming and running around the room.

"Ow! How in the frick! He got me in the dingle! Where am I going? I'm flying! Off geeese, suck a cock dick damn iting hell, god daming it! I thought that was Death coming straight for me. Arrrgh! arrgh! Arrgh! Oh god! suck a cock dick damn it me! Damn! Faster! Faster! Oh suck a cock dick damn iting suck a cock! suck a cock dick damn it! Santa's floating dead body! Blood! Murder! suck a cock dick damn it! suck a cock dick damn it! suck a cock dick damn it! suck a cock dick damn it! Suck a Nutter twinkies, suck a cock dick damn it!"

Quaraun looked up from his work for the first time and watched the manic Faerie being more manic then usual.

GhoulSpawn cowarded, looking for a place to hide.

"Are you sure you aren't both insane?" GhoulSpawn asked as he inched his way closer to Quaraun, without taking his eyes off Unicorn.

"No," Quaraun said. "Some times it feels like I'm normal, and he's the one who's insane."

Unicorn continued to run circles around the room screaming obscenities.

"Why is he doing that?"

"I'm not sure." Quaraun went back to his sewing. "I think he has inner rage and this is how he deals with it."

~From "The Summoner of Darkness" (Volume 11 of The Quaraun series)


But, back to Quaraun. Quaraun has Stereotypy, Tics, Stimming, and Punding going out the wazoo. He's doing one or the other constantly and has far too many variations of each to count.

Let's try to count a few of his most common Stereotypy, Tics, Stimming, and Pundings:

  • Quaraun is constantly touching the beads and embroidery on his dresses
  • he frequently stops what he is doing to pace around in small circles for no reason at all
  • when others are talking, to each other, he sits on the ground, slowly rocking back and forth and humming to himself
  • he sleeps on a bed of furs, which he strokes repetitively as a way to sooth himself to sleep each night
  • he only wears pink and has a meltdown if someone tries to make him wear another colour
  • when people talk to Quaraun, he frequently finds a detail on their clothing to focus on (avoiding direct eye contact) and often becomes so focused on memorizing the details that he forgets to listen to what is being said
  • if he finds something squishie, he will pick it up and squeeze it obsessively for hours on end
  • he obsessively collects small colored objects (sea glass, pebbles, beads, etc) and lines them up as perfectly as possible
  • when entering someone's home or any random inn or tavern, he begins to paw through things to "tidy things up", "straighten things out", or otherwise "help them organize their place more effectively"

Someone with Autism has rituals they have to perform at certain times of the day. Rituals that must be done exactly every time, with no amount of change.

Quaraun has very long hair, In excess of 12 feet. Every morning, at the exact same time of every day, he very carefully lets his hair down and brushes it 100 times. It doesn't matter what is going on around him - thunder, lightening, war, pirates attacking the ship he's on - Quaraun will not stop brushing his hair until he has counted to a hundred strokes. And if you interrupt him and make him lose count, he starts over again.

While this is seen as a minor annoyance (by other characters) in almost every novel, this activity takes front and center stage in Captain Quick and the Pirate Ship Rent-A-Prize, when Quaraun is in the middle of his morning hair brushing ritual, as pirates attack the ship and take the crew hostage and much to the annoyance of the pirates, Quaraun refuses to allow himself to be taken hostage until after he has finished brushing his hair, which causes the pirates to realize Quaraun is close to being mentally retarded, which results in their singling him out from the rest of the crew to beat and rape him.

That night Quaraun sat on the edge of the bed and did nothing but brush his hair for hours on end. While he was sore, aching, beaten, and bruised, his injuries were not nearly as serious as Unicorn had thought they were. The men had pushed him on the floor, then kicked him in the chest, both knocking the wind out of him, and causing him to hit his head on the corner of the table. Quaraun now had a gash behind his pointed ear and was dizzy from loss of blood, but otherwise had no major injuries. Quaraun was, however suffering from various after shock anxiety attacks and his already normally nearly paranoid state was on edge worse then ever. For the past hour he had jumped at every sound, every creak of the ship, ever splash of a wave. He had started brushing his hair to try to relax himself, but it was not working and, after several hours of sitting on the bed awake all night, doing nothing but brushing his hair, Unicorn was starting to become irritated.

"Quaraun, will ya stop it?" Unicorn asked.

Quaraun gave no indication that he heard the Phooka and went right on brushing his hair.

Unicorn found it annoying enough that Quaraun brushed his mega long bum length hair for three hours every morning, but now, since the attack on the ship, he also brushed it every time he was upset, nervous, or in deep thought. Usually Unicorn ignored it because he could get Quaraun to stop by talking to him, but Unicorn had tried talking to Quaraun all night long and the Elf thus far had not heard a word the Phooka said and continued to stare aimlessly at the wall while brushing his hair. Unicorn asked Quaraun to stop brushing his hair, again, and again, but the Elf was so lost in his thoughts that he never heard Unicorn speak.

"I SAID STOP IT!"

Unicorn grabbed the brush, and smacked the Elf across the face with it, hitting him so hard that he fell off the bed, landing hard on the floor. Unicorn threw the brush across the room and Quaraun sat on the floor, too stunned to move. Unicorn had never hit him like that before. Not out of anger. Unicorn often pushed Quaraun around, but usually he was doing it teasingly and not trying to hurt him.

Quaraun, drew his knees up close to his chest, and huddled against the wall hugging himself and rocking back and forth. The Elf trembled in terror as his breathing became erratic. Unicorn watched him for several minutes, before climbing down to the floor to join the Elf.

"I is sorry," Unicorn said quietly.

"You hit me."

"I know. I is sorry. I did no mean to."

"You hit me."

Tears streamed down the Elf's checks. Unicorn pulled him close and hugged him.

"Tis alright," Unicorn whispered.

"They raped me."

"I know."

"I hate being touched."

"I know ya does."

"They'll come back," the Elf wailed. He was unaware that their attackers were dead.

"I will no let them."

"I hate being touched."

"Tis alright. Ya safe now."

~From "Captain Quirk and The Pirate Ship Rent-A-Prize" (Volume 12 of The Quaraun series)

In nearly every novel, you also see, Quaraun's daily ritual of unpacking his bag of holding, then unpacking the boxes in the bag, one box in particular becoming his focus. The large wooden box is filled with dozens of tiny hand blow glass bottles, each a bright vibrant colour.

Every night before bed, Quaraun unpacks the box, carefully lining up the bottles in rainbow order (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink), lining them up along the floor for no particular reason at all, then carefully putting them back in the box.

The group had stopped for the night and as usual, Quaraun was busy emptying his bag of holding on the ground and lining up it's contents in a row. 

"Quaraun," BeaLuna said to the Elf. "We need the tent."

"Okay," Quaraun said, while opening his box of tiny vials and making no attempt to get the tent out of his bag.

BeaLuna helped Bullgaar lay out the bedrolls, while Unicorn watched and did absolutely nothing to help them set up camp.

Several minutes passed.

"Quaraun," BeaLuna said. "You didn't get out the tent yet."

"I know."

"I know you know. Why didn't you do it?"

"I'm busy."

"Busy? Busy? BUSY! You call THIS busy? You're not doing anything!"

"I'm counting."

"You do this every night, Quaraun."

"I know."

"It's getting dark. I'm tired. I want to go to bed. We need the tent set up."

"In a minute."

"Your 'in a minutes' go on for hours. Just put the damned tent up, you can do this after."

"I'm almost done."

"No you're not. You'll be doing this for hours. Put the tent up, so we can get some sleep. You can do this later."

"No. I have to do it now."

"No you don't. The tent has to go up now. This can wait."

"I have to make sure they're all here."

"How could any of them not be there. You have them in a box in a box in a bag, tied to your belt, that you never let out of your sight. There's no way anything could be missing."

"I can't lose any of them."

"Quaraun, stop it."

"No."

"Quaraun, you don't have to do this."

"Yes. I do."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No."

"Then why are you doing it?"

"I have to."

"Quaraun. Stop."

The Elf continued lining the bottles up, very carefully making sure the line was straight, and fussing over any bottle not in perfect alignment to the one beside it.

"Quaraun. This is getting ridiculous."

The Elf was no longer listening to her. He was now working on a row of heart shaped bottles, beside the row of star shaped bottles.

"Are you listening to me?" The Gnome yelled.

Quaraun said nothing. He was preoccupied with his work.

"Leave de twit alone, BeaLuna," Unicorn said. "Him is nay hurting not'ing."

"He's driving me crazy."

"Well, join da club."

"If you hadn't noticed, he's been doing that every single damned night."

"I had noted. I does nay see da problem. Him no hurting not'ing."

"Do you have any idea how much time we lose each day, waiting for him to be an idiot?"

"It not likes we gots no place we needs ta be."

"He spends two hours every morning with his hair."

"Have ya seen how long hims hair is?"

"He could try being sane and cutting it like a normal person would do."

"Him has superstitions 'bouts hims hair."

"He hasn't cut his hair in 300 years."

"I knows it."

"He spends two hours every night lining up those damned bottles."

"Again, him not bot'ering no one."

BeaLuna glared at Quaraun, who was now working on a row of round, globe shaped bottles.

"WILL YOU STOP IT!"

BeaLuna grabbed the box and pushed it and the bottles off to the side, knocking every one of them out of order.

Quaraun sat, dumb founded, staring at the mixed up pile of bottles on the ground. The whole group fell silent, watching Quaraun and waiting to see how he would react, expecting him to start screaming at any moment, knowing that such an interruption usually resulted in a temper tantrum, but he continued to stare silently at the bottles. He didn't move. Every muscle was rigid and stiff. His hands began to tremble.

"I think you broke him," Bullgaar said.

~From "The Journey Begins" (Volume 4 of The Quaraun series)


Wikipedia has the following to say about Punding:

Punding activity is characterized by compulsive fascination with and performance of repetitive, mechanical tasks, such as assembling and disassembling, collecting, or sorting household objects. For example, punding may consist of activities such as:

  • collecting pebbles and lining them up as perfectly as possible,
  • disassembling wristwatches and putting them back together again,
  • building hundreds of small wooden boxes
  • trying but failing to systematically remove the entire contents of all the drawers and shelves in the home and sort through all their contents.

People engaging in punding find immersion in such activities comforting, even when it serves no purpose, and generally find it very frustrating to be diverted from them. They are not generally aware that there is a compulsive element, but will continue even when they have good reason to stop. Rylander describes a burglar who started punding, and could not stop, even though he was suffering from an increasing apprehension of being caught. Interrupting can lead to various responses, including violent rage.

Punding is something that I myself do at levels described by people who know me personally as "astounding". They are often referencing the fact that I own 300,000 books and frequently remove them all from their shelves for no reason at all, other then to put them back on the shelves once the shelves are empty. I also own several hundred boxes of Crayola Big Box Crayons, and on a near weekly basis, dump the several thousands of crayons on the floor to line them up end to end in rainbow order.

Before the bomb blew up my house October 18, 2006, I had bum length hair (which was burned off by the resulting fire caused by the bomb) and spent hours each day brushing my hair endlessly.

If you've ever watched my YouTube videos you will frequently see the stimming in action, as I keep on my desk, a "fruit bowl" filled with marbles, pebbles, squishies, glitter tubes, stress balls, beanie babies, and other assorted things, which you often see me squeezing and tossing from one hand to the other. I do this 24 hours a day, none stop. In public places where such activities are frowned up, you see me carrying a "tactile" purse, which has fur on one side, and movable color change sequins on the other, with my hand constantly rubbing the fur and sequins.

If you ever paid attention to my cloths, you'll notice I wear highly tactile dresses covered in beads, sequins, and embroidery, which my fingers are constantly tracing and rubbing over. It is for this tactile reason that I wear elaborate ball gowns, and it is for this same reason I have Quaraun doing the same thing in the novels.

Nearly every act of Stereotypy, Tics, Stimming, and Punding you see Quaraun doing in the novels, is in fact a thing I do myself in real life and was the reason those where the things chosen to be done by Quaraun, as they are the ones I knew how to write. Basically it's me writing what I know, but writing my character doing what I do.


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Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder and
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
In The Quaraun Series

What is Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder?
Or is it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
Doctors can't decide.

Quaraun has Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder, which is similar too, but is not Schizophrenia, or possibly Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

Both Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and SchizoEffective Personality Disorder is an anxiety disorders. A person with either PTSD or SEPD has a high need for a safe zone, where they can go to crash when stress levels get too high.

A person with PTSD or SEPD finds everything terrifying. They suffer from high anxiety levels and have a heightened flight response. Often accompanied by abnormally high heart rate and abnormally low blood pressure someone with PTSD or SEPD is prone to fainting spells, dizzy spells, headaches, and panic attacks.

Basically there are a million and one phobias out there to frighten a person and someone with PTSD or SEPD has every one of them.

A person with PTSD or SEPD is constantly listening for danger, constantly looking in all directions for any sign of movement, they hear every sound, see every shadow, and are ready to run at a moments notice.

It is for this reason you see Quaraun, always nervous, always twitching his ears, his eyes always darting to and fro, and him jumping nervously and fainting at every sound.

Quaraun suddenly stopped walking. Unicorn slammed into him.

"I wish ya would no stops like that. Give me some warning before ya do that."

"I heard something," Quaraun said nervously.

The Elf's eyes grew wide with fear, his long pointed ears pricked high and alert.

"Ya always hearing t'ings. Ya can hear a mile away wid those rabbit ears o'yars."

"No. I heard something."

"There ain't no t'ing out there."

"There's always something out there."

"Aye. Frogs in trees. Birds in the water. Fish in the sky. There always be t'ings out there. We does no have to panic over every one of them, eh?"

"Yes we do."

"No we do'na."

"There's dangers around every corner."

"Aye. Un scared rabbity Elves waiting to runs from every one of dems."


Like Autism, Stereotypy, Tics, Stimming, and Punding, I chose to give Quaraun Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder because I myself have it and know what it is like to live with it.

Like Autism, I have done no research into the disorder itself and simply write Quaraun doing the exact same things I do.

Readers have pointed out that what Quaraun does bears more resemblance of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder then Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder.

Well, if that is the case then you will have to take that up with my doctor. (Need her contact information? Here you go, here it is: Patty Blanchenship 207-282-3349) In the past 10 years I have had 4 different doctors (the change being due to doctors moving out of state; I have never willingly changed doctors.)

The first one diagnosed me as: Autistic Savant, with OCD Tendencies, as well as Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder and/or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The next one dropped the Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder and said it was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, he also laughed and said "that guy was a quack, any psychologist knows this is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You can't get Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder from stress, what was he thinking? You get Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from stress, thus the name STRESS DISORDER."

The 3rd one dropped both the Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder and the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and replaced them with "high anxiety caused by abnormal harassment from locals in the neighborhood"

The 4th and current doctor changed that last part to: "Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder caused by stress from shooter in driveway, kidnapped cats, bomb in house, cat heads nailed to door, and 19 years of being harassed by a stalker."

The first part: Autistic Savant, with OCD Tendencies has remained the same throughout.

It should be pointed out that the original diagnosis from the 1970s by my pediatrician (when I was 8 years old) said: Autistic Savant, with OCD Tendencies and did not include the extra part.

Interestingly Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder is something you are born with, you do not developed it over time and this diagnosis was not added until I was 42 years AND it was added by a doctor who talked to me for under 15 minutes, whom never saw me before that time and never saw me again after that one 15 minute meeting. This is the same doctor who also diagnosed me as "A Feral Child Raised By Cats" and then when on to conclude that both of my parents, a dozen of my aunts and uncles, and 200 of my cousins had "Schizophrenia" (something he said in court to a judge... he claimed to have spoken to each of these relatives in some 200+ 15 minute sessions). When told we were Gypsies, he also stated that "Gypsies are mythical creatures that do not exist".

I have since learned that he was a "psychologist in training" and lost his practice the year following that court case (which was a battle between the Scottish Travelers and the Scottish Gypsies and to this day I do not know, what the court case was about, or why every member of the clan - even those of us not involved in the court case - were required to have 15 minute meetings with this doctor.) All I know is my mother was the defendant, I don't know who the plaintiff was and never knew what the case was about.

Interestingly the current doctor said in 2017 "Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder caused by stress from a stalker" and when I researched to find out what that even meant, I found that you CAN NOT get Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder as it is something you are born with, it can NOT be caused by stress. 

However, I did not have this prior to the bomb that blew up my house October 18, 2006 or the church mob that cut my car in half May 10, 2010, or the back hoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013, or the 4-door white truck driver who beat me up and left me paralyzed 5 months and crippled the rest of my life and doctors debate as to if my diagnosis of  Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder (something one is typically born with, and something I did not have symptoms of prior to the multiple murder attempts on my life by the as yet unidentified stalker) may in fact be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, that simply has a heightened 24 hour anxiety that never shuts down, rather then is trigger by stimuli.

So, which doctor is correct?

Is it Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder or the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Well, readers of the Quaraun series tell me that his symptoms (which are my symptoms as I experience them, put on the page) are Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and not Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder.

If you think these are symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and not Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder, then, go tell my doctor that, because, I only gave Quaraun the same diagnosis my doctor gave me.

What are the symptoms?

  • since the bomb blew up my house I can no sit in any room unless I am near a window and in direct line with the door

  • since the shooter started arriving in my driveway, all sounds of loud bangs trigger meltdowns, including thunder and lightening; which has startled those who know me as  in my childhood and teen years I used to stand on the roof and dance in time to the thunder during lighting storms

  • since the fire caused by the bomb, I am unable to be near and have an extreme phobia of open flames; yet we used to have a woodstove and go camping and having no electricity we used candles and kerosene lamps - all things I used daily, and now run screaming from

  • since the back hoe drove over my house - I now have a phobia of all construction vehicles - the sound of any large truck triggers a panic attack, dizzy spells, and passing out

  • since the 4-door-white-truck driver beat me up and left me paralyzed 5 months and relearning to walk 18 months, I now have a phobia of all white cars and trucks as well as people dressed in white, and any movement that is white; overall a phobia of the colour white in general

  • since being beaten up by Kendra Silvermander at multiple restaurants and libraries, I have not been able to eat at restaurants or go to libraries; and yet I for 40 years had 5 library cards and took out 70 to 100 books each week, and ate at restaurants daily

  • night terrors - since the bomb blew up my house (an event that occurred at 1AM) I have been unable to sleep at night

Those are the symptoms.

Is it Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Doctors can not agree, and the readers of the Quaraun series say overwhelmingly that is it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Autism is not a mental illness.

A mental illness is something you are NOT born with.

Autism is something you are born with.

OCD and PTSD on the other hand are both mental illnesses. 

No one is born with OCD or PTSD. Both OCD and PTSD are caused by suffering from extreme traumatic stress.

OCD is most often caused by being raised in a violent, uncaring, unloving household. Yes, if you have OCD, it probably is your parents fault. OCD arises in people who can no longer trust the people nature intended us to trust (parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, grand parents, spouses.) OCD is a side effect of having lost trust in someone you previously deeply trusted.

OCD is also caused by the traumatic and sudden, unexpected death of a loved one whom you were very close too.

OCD is your brain, hyper over compensating to keep your body safe from things that normally wouldn't harm you (washing your hands for example: normally a person washes their hands quickly and without thought and this is enough to remove germs; someone with OCD however may wash their hands dozens of times in a row, scrubbing with a brush till they remove their skin, in a bizarre attempt to remove germs that are not there to begin with, with the brain thinking some illogical thought along the lines of: mommy doesn't love me, mommy should have loved me, therefore germs want to kill me, I have to remove every germ.)

PTSD is caused by suffering traumatic bodily harm, such as being raped or shot. It is triggered by coming into contact with hings that were around you at the time of the event. (For example, a stranger walking by, is wearing the same aftershave the rapist wore or the colour of the sunset is the same as it was at the time you were attacked.) PTSD is your brain on hyper alert, expecting the attack to repeat itself at any moment.

Both OCD and PTSD are mental illnesses that are caused by physical harm being done to your body and your brain trying to protect you. Both OCD and PTSD can go away with time, but it requires many years of being in a safe environment, surrounded by safe non-volital people, with no one hurting you during that time.

Even if one is cured of OCD or PTSD, either can return, if you are traumatically injured again. OCD, if you are once again injured by someone you trust, PTSD if you are once again harmed by a stranger.

Someone who has BOTH OCD and PSTD, has been hurt by people they trusted AND strangers, and has no one they can turn to for emotional support, and rarely is able to form new relationships as a result of losing the ability to trust either friend, family, or stranger.

As a child, teen, and young adult I was overly relaxed (typical of Savant Autism) and had completely zero anxiety or other emotional response to anything at all. It was not until in my 40s, after being paralyzed for 5 months and spending 18 months relearning to walk, that I began to display the current, 24 hours keyed up, none stop, never turned off extreme paranoid anxiety levels that I now have.

So, whatever it is, Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the symptoms listed above, that's what Quaraun has, though doctors are having trouble deciding if it is Schizo-Effective Personality Disorder or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.


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Thullid Infestation: A Fictional Illness Based Off a Blending of Three Real Life Illnesses:
Brain Sucking Amoebas, Kuru, & Mad Cow Disease

What is Thullid Infestation?


Quaraun suffers from Thullid Infestation, and this is what causes the bulk of his "insanity" issues.

Quaraun has a demonic, alien jelly fish from outer space living inside his brain, after she burrowed a hole in his skull to get there. Quaraun is slowly going insane, in a madness similar to mad cow disease, caused by the holes the tiny parasitic jellyfish is eating in his brain tissue.

Because I could not find a real illness matching what I wanted for use with Quaraun, I created the Thullid Infestation, based of combining the actions of the Naegleria fowleri and the symptoms of bovine spongiform encephalopathy (mad cow disease) with Kuru, a transmissible spongiform encephalopathy.

Quaraun in turn suffers the very real side effects of someone suffering from these 3 brain disorders.

What is a Naegleria fowleri?

The Naegleria fowleri, also known as the "brain-eating amoeba" is a tiny water creature, that can in fact swim up your nose, attach itself to your brain, and slowly cause insanity by eating your brain tissue.

Unfortunately, the creature kills you with in 2 to 3 weeks of infestation, long before you succumb to the insanity it would otherwise cause.

While the real Naegleria fowleri takes 2 to 3 weeks to kill a person, the Thullid jelly fish of the Quaraun series takes 2 to 3 years to do the same.

The person knows completely what is happening to them, but there is no cure, no way to remove the parasite from the brain. It is said in all the realms there is no worse way to die then by Thullid Infestation.

Once the Thullid has killed it's host, it then takes over the body, reanimating it, and living inside of it, much the same way a Hermit Crab takes the shell of a dead snail.

The most frightening part of this, is those around you, have no idea you have died and the Thullid now pretends to be you. It has spent those 1st 2 or 3 years learning to mimic your speech and habits and slowly growing it's tentacles into your spine and nerves, completely taking over your body.

In the case of both Quaraun and GhoulSpawn, neither Elf was fully sane to begin with and the brains of both Elves were physically damaged by their captors during implantation. More importantly, in both cases the larvae being implanted in them, were each also physically damaged.

With each Elf suffering brain damage and each parasite suffering body damage, the end result of in each case the Thullid infestation process was not completed, resulting in both Elves retaining portions of their brain function, even after their bodies had died.

While most Thullids eventually fully engulf the body, developing the giant squid-like head, both Quaraun an GhoulSpawn are mutations, which retained their jelly fish larval state and therefore never lost their physical Elven bodies. Unfortunately this had physical side effects of what is known as actual clinical insanity.

Some important things to consider:

Some important things to consider:

If you asked someone "What makes a person insane?" in most cases you will get a variety of answers involving stuff to do with clothing style, way they clean house, how they act personality wise, types of things they own (car, house, etc), their sexuality, and over all, but the fact that they do things different then you do. In the medical field, those are all things that make a person "different than you" but not "insane".

What in the medical field today, constitutes a diagnoses of being truly and clinically insane?

To be considered clinically and medically insane a person must be diagnosed as having any one of numerous disease classified as: neurodegenerative diseases.

Neurodegenerative diseases and injuries which are currently listed in medical journals as being "types of insanity" include:

  • Abusive head trauma (AHT), previously known as shaken baby syndrome (SBS)
  • AIDS Dementia Complex (ADC)
  • Alexander disease
  • Alzheimer's disease
  • Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
  • Asperger syndrome
  • Autism
  • Batten disease
  • Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (mad cow disease)
  • Brain herniation
  • Canavan disease
  • Cerebral contusion
  • Cerebral laceration
  • Cerebrotendinous xanthomatosis
  • Chronic traumatic encephalopathy
  • Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease
  • Dementia pugilistica (DP)
  • Dentatorubral-pallidoluysian atrophy
  • Diffuse axonal injury
  • Encephalitis
  • Epilepsy
  • Fatal familial insomnia
  • Fragile X-associated tremor/ataxia syndrome
  • Fragile X syndrome
  • Fragile XE mental retardation
  • Friedreich's ataxia
  • Frontotemporal dementia
  • Gerstmann–Sträussler–Scheinker syndrome
  • Glutaric aciduria type 1
  • High-functioning autism (HFA) - an autistic person having an IQ of 70 or higher
  • Huntington's disease
  • Korsakoff's syndrome
  • Krabbe's disease
  • Kuru, a transmissible spongiform encephalopathy
  • Maple syrup urine disease
  • Machado-Joseph disease
  • Meningitis
  • Multiple sclerosis
  • Myotonic dystrophy
  • Niemann–Pick disease type C
  • Neuronal ceroid lipofuscinosis
  • Neuroacanthocytosis
  • Organic acidemias
  • Parkinson's disease
  • Pelizaeus–Merzbacher disease
  • Penetrating head injury
  • Pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS)
  • Pick's disease
  • Post-concussion syndrome
  • Progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy
  • Rabies
  • Sanfilippo syndrome type B
  • Savant syndrome (also known as autistic savant)
  • Spinal and bulbar muscular atrophy
  • Spinocerebellar ataxia
  • Sundowning, or sundown syndrome
  • Syphilis
  • Tabes dorsalis
  • Tetanus
  • Tourette syndrome
  • Traumatic brain injury (TBI), also known as intracranial injury
  • Trinucleotide repeat disorders
  • Urea cycle disorders

Yes, all of the diseases above are the true and medical definitions of the diagnoses of "being insane".

As you can see, what the medical world considers to be "insanity" and what the movie industry considers insanity are two vastly different things.

Were you surprised by any of the things on that list? 

Were you surprised by any of the things NOT on that list?

Were you surprised to learn that several of your friends and family, whom you think of as being "perfectly sane" have illnesses listed on this list?

What few people fail to realize is that being insane, quite literally means "having a lose of control of brain function".

Also please note that the word "insane" or "insanity" is considered derogatory and is no longer used by doctors as of 1994.

In any case, with Quaraun, we knew he had a specific problem causes his lose of control of brain function: a parasite had burrowed into his brain and was eating holes in it. Meaning that of the illnesses listed above, there was a need to look for ones that specifically caused small holes in the brain, in order to find one similar to what was wrong with Quaraun, in order to determine which of the symptoms he would likely be displaying.

Which is why I chose two such illnesses to build Quaraun's symptoms upon:

  • bovine spongiform encephalopathy (mad cow disease)

and 

  • Kuru, a transmissible spongiform encephalopathy

According to Wikipedia:

Spongiform encephalopathies are a group of diseases that affect humans and animals. They are characterized by spongy degeneration of the brain, with severe neurological signs and symptoms.


Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, also known as prion diseases, are a group of progressive, invariably fatal, conditions that affect the brain and nervous system of many animals, including humans. According to the most widespread hypothesis, they are transmitted by prions, though some other data suggest an involvement of a Spiroplasma infection. Mental and physical abilities deteriorate and myriad tiny holes appear in the cortex causing it to appear like a sponge when brain tissue obtained at autopsy is examined under a microscope. The disorders cause impairment of brain function, including memory changes, personality changes and problems with movement that worsen chronically.

All of the diseases in the yellow list above share common symptoms, caused by deterioration of brain cells. Contrary to popular urban myths, symptoms of actual clinical insanity are not what most people think they are, and include:

  • an abnormal gait
  • abnormal motor behavior
  • agitation
  • anxiety
  • anxiety relating to certain situations
  • apathy
  • ataxia
  • blurred double vision
  • body rocking
  • building hundreds of small items over and over again, such a wooden boxes
  • changes in sleep or appetite
  • clonus
  • clumsiness
  • collecting pebbles or other small colored objects and lining them up as perfectly as possible
  • compulsive behaviors: time-consuming behaviors intended to reduce anxiety that an individual feels compelled to perform repeatedly or according to rigid rules, such as placing objects in a specific order, checking things, or hand washing.
  • communication difficulties (e.g., using and understanding language)
  • confusion or a lowered level of consciousness
  • coprolalia (the spontaneous utterance of socially objectionable or taboo words or phrases)
  • copropraxia (involuntarily performing obscene or forbidden gestures)
  • deafness
  • delirium, also known as acute confusional state
  • delusions or hallucinations
  • dementia
  • demyelinating disease
  • depression
  • difficulty pronouncing words (dysarthria)
  • difficulty swallowing
  • difficulty with changes in routines or environments
  • difficulty with social behavior
  • diminished reflexes
  • disassembling complex items such as wristwatches and putting them back together again
  • disinhibition and impulsivity
  • echolalia (repeating words just spoken by someone else)
  • echopraxia (repeating or imitating another person's actions)
  • ear infections
  • elated mood
  • episodes of intense pain and disturbed sensation (including glossodynia)
  • excruciatingly painful spasms of the muscles
  • excessive eye blinking
  • excessive self-rubbing and scratching
  • fatigue
  • fidgeting with, carrying, wearing, and constantly touching movable jewelry, textured objects, slime, and glittery liquids
  • genital anaesthesia
  • grimacing
  • hand/nail/finger/toe-biting
  • hand clapping
  • hand paralysis
  • headache
  • head-banging
  • head jerking
  • hearing problems
  • hemiparesis
  • hypoxia
  • impaired muscle coordination
  • impaired vision
  • inability to understand the social communication of others
  • incapable of walking without support
  • incontinence
  • incoordination
  • involuntary head, arm or leg jerks
  • irritability
  • joint pain in the legs
  • lack of face and emotion recognition
  • lameness
  • lexilalia (repeating words after reading them)
  • lip puckering
  • lip smacking
  • loss of sensation
  • loss of coordination and control over muscle movements
  • loss of muscle control
  • marching in place
  • may become unresponsive to their surroundings
  • may lose the ability to speak
  • memory distortions
  • motor tics
  • muscle spasms
  • nervousness
  • neurological symptoms
  • ocular paralysis
  • organic brain syndrome
  • pacing, especially paving in small circles
  • palilalia (repeating one's own previously spoken words)
  • paresthesias (shooting and burning pains, pricking sensations, and formication)
  • persistent pacing
  • perception and visual problems
  • phonic tics
  • poor balance and coordination
  • preoccupation with a single television program, item, toy, game, etc
  • pulling at clothes
  • punding: the compulsion to perform repetitive mechanical tasks, such as sorting, collecting, lining up objects, or assembling and disassembling common items.
  • pursing of the lips
  • rapid, involuntary movements of the limbs, torso, and fingers
  • repetitive behavior
  • repetitive crossing and uncrossing of legs
  • repetitive feeling/touching soft or otherwise enjoyable textures 
  • repetitive movements, such as hand flapping, head rolling, or body rocking
  • repetitive throat clearing, sniffing, or grunting
  • respiratory irregularity, such as grunting and difficulty breathing
  • restricted interests: interests or fixations that are abnormal in theme or intensity of focus
  • ritualistic behavior: unvarying pattern of daily activities, such as an unchanging menu or a dressing ritual. 
  • rubbing, itching, or licking ones self
  • self-caressing
  • self-injury behaviors such as eye-poking, skin-picking, hand-biting and head-banging
  • self-stimulatory behavior, also known as stimming and self-stimulation
  • shoulder shrugging (involuntary)
  • shows panic when presented with liquids to drink
  • snapping fingers
  • sometimes seizures
  • spastic paraparesis
  • speech problems, speech and language difficulty
  • spinning objects
  • stereotypy
  • tardive dyskinesia: repetitive, involuntary movements such as eye blinking
  • teeth grinding due to pain
  • thunderclap headache (a headache described as "like being kicked in the head")
  • tongue movements
  • touching objects
  • touching people
  • tremors (titubation)
  • trouble eating or swallowing
  • trying to systematically remove the entire contents of all the drawers and shelves in the home and sort through all their contents
  • unsteady gait
  • unsteady stance
  • unusual eating behavior
  • vomiting
  • wandering or restlessness
  • weakness (muscle)
  • weight loss


These ACTUAL symptoms of clinical insanity, do not mesh well with the knife wielding psychopaths of horror movies, now do they?

As you can see, what the medical world considers to be "insanity" and what the movie industry considers insanity are two vastly different things.

Of the symptoms on that list, I chose very specifically the ones which are displayed by a person suffering from:

  • spongiform encephalopathies.

You see both Quaraun, and in later stories also GhoulSpawn who likewise becomes infected, doing the things on this list, because both of them have suffered from brain damage, which has resulted in numerous small sponge like holes in their brains, causing cerebral fluid to leak into places it doesn't belong, which gives the parasitic Thullid the warm, wet, protected place it needs to live, but also results in the host going insane.

Some one who is truly clinically insane, by the actual medical definition of the word, suffers from limited mobility, walks with a gait, requires a cane or in more severe cases a wheelchair in order to get around, numbness, itchiness, joint pains... ect, because their brain is no longer sending the proper signals to their nerves and muscles.

And this is why you see both Quaraun and in later novels also GhoulSpawn, walking with a cane. Tripping and falling frequently. Slurring their words. Having trouble getting words out when they speak. Stuttering. Forgetting what they were saying mid sentence.And doing all the other thing on that list...

...because Quaraun is insane by the actual, clinical, medical definition of the word.