If Black Lives REALLY Mattered, to the BLM Protesters, they would stop and think about the consequences their actions have...
UPDATE: June 24, 2020: Much sadness, the painting of Erzulie Danta aka The Black Madonna, one of Vudo's Primary Loas was destroyed by BLM vandals :( , she along with her sister Erzulie Freda are my patron saints.
Much sadness, the painting of Erzulie Danta aka The Black Madonna, one of Vudo's Primary Loas was destroyed by BLM vandals :( only 2 days after the destruction of Erzulie Freda aka Immaculate Conception, she along with her sister Erzulie Freda are my patron saints.
Erzulie Danta & Erzulie Freda are 2 of the primary Loa of Voodoo.
They are the 2 wives of Damballah Weddo, The One God, The Great Serpent, The Creator of Life.
White slave owners, would not allow black slaves to worship the Loa. Slave owners brought in Catholic Priests and Nuns to convert the slaves. The slaves took the icons, prayer cards, and paintings the priests and nuns gave them, and gave the Loa, "Catholic names"
Thus Damballah Weddo began to be represented by images of Moses carrying a Brass Serpent, and his wives Erzulie Danta & Erzulie Freda began to be represented by The Black Madonna and The Lady of The Immaculate Conception.
All of the Loa, have Catholic Saints and Martyrs to represent them. It was a way for the slaves to trick the Masters into thinking the slaves were converted to Catholicism, when in fact, Voodoo, or Vuvu as it was called in the 1400 to 1700s, stayed strong in their hearts and the mysteries of the Loa stayed alive.
Today Voodoo is a branch of the Catholic church, and while most Christians call us Pagans or Heathens or worse, we are in fact Christian, and branch of Catholicism.
It's why you see me always with a rosary, which I wear like a necklace, much to the horrors of many Catholics, and why I have so many statues of Mary, Jesus, and the Saints all over my room and my car, and why I have crosses and crucifixes all over my walls, and why I wear veils, mantilla, and hijab.
If you walked in my room, you would immediately assume I was an extremely devout orthodox Catholic, and you'd be wrong.
I am a Voodoo Priestess rank of Medsan Fey Marija Loa to Damballah Weddo and serve the local shrine to Papa Damballah and Erzulies Freda and Danta. This painting was very dear to me.
It means I am married to God, something for which there was an actual wedding, with a wedding dress and everything.
In simpler terms: I'm a nun.
I am married to my god the same way a Catholic nun is married to Christ.
Which is also why sex is not a part of my life.
This painting is a painting that we Voodoo practitioners hold with deep reverence.
The Black Madonna, Erzulie Dantar, Our Dear Sweet Lady of Retribution.
Voodoo Practitioners, follow many things, many paths, many roads, many branches. But with every branch, every form of Voodoo, one thing remains constant: The Black Madonna. There is no Voodoo Practitioner on the planet, who does not have a statue or a prayer card or her dagger through the heart veevee on their prayer alter. She is the mother of life. The mother of us all. The goddess who created life, with Papa Damballah.
This painting is dearly beloved in the Voodoo Community, and now she is destroyed.
The painting was made in 1433, based off of the description of Jesus in the Bible.
The book of Revelations describes Jesus as having roped locks of hair like lambs wool and feet the colour of brass. Jesus was from the southern region of Judea which is in Africa.
Jesus was black. The Bible itself tells us this.
Most images of Jesus and Mary paint them white, blond, blue eyed... but that's not how the Bible described them.
This is one of the few historical images of a Black Jesus and a Black Mother Mary. And most Black people love it dearly. So why would followers of a movement to bring equality to black lives, destroy it?
Or did they? Was it people who hate the BLM movement and so destroyed a symbol near and dear to the hearts of millions in the black community?
Who destroyed this painting?
BLM graffiti is the only clue.
But is it, BLM because it was done by someone in the BLM movement?
Or was it done by someone against the BLM movement?
No one knows.
No one knows who did this.
My grandmother was half Black *(yes, I am 1/4 Black)* and she loved this painting. She didn't call it The Black Madonna like most people do, she called her Black Baby Jesus. She took a trip over there to see it in person.
Whoever did it, these people should pay heed to history, and to what happened to the pirates who slashed her face. It didn't end well for them.
Our dear Lady of Retribution, wielder of vengeance upon the unjust, may your curse of iniquity fall upon all who cause harm.
She was one of my 2 faves, along with The Immaculate Conception...
Erzulie Danta aka The Black Madonna
Erzulie Freda aka The Immaculate Conception
...and to see them both destroyed 2 days apart from each other is heartbreaking.
Why is the BLM movement attacking the Patron Saint of Slaves? Our Dear Lady of Retribution. Vicious Punisher of the Masters who take away freedom.
She is the symbol of everything the Black Lives Matter movement stands for, so why destroy her?
Do you idiots know nothing?
Do you not know the history of this painting?
Or how it got destroyed by Nazis in World War II... and it remains, rebuilt, in Poland, by Jewish Concentration Camp Survivors.
How many times has she been destroyed since her creation in 1433?
Freed Black Slaves, rebuilt her.
Freed Jews, rebuilt her again.
Why would you destroy the symbol of freedom? The symbol of escape from oppression? The symbol of survival against all odds?
Ignorance and arrogance is a dangerous pairing. This just proves their lack of intelligence. Destroying anything and everything, without knowing what it is.
Do you know, that without this painting, you even have the Black Lives Matter Foundation? Are you aware of the history of the organization you are screaming the name of from the rooftops?
Has anyone else noticed the similarities in behavior with this movement and ISIS or The Ku Klux Klan or The Nazis... destroying anything they don't like, taking control of portions of cities... doing it all in the name of a call to lord over others?
When you destroy history, try to erase it, you will allow it to happen again in future generations. Instead of burying bad parts of history, you should be teaching your children to learn from the mistakes of that history, so history doesn't repeat itself.
Funny thing is... this particular painting... she was hated by the Nazis too. They destroyed her. This is a reproduction that was made in 1945, because Nazis destroyed the original 1433 one.
She was rebuilt, to stand as a testament AGAINST fucking White Power bastards who murdered millions of Jews, Blacks, Gays, and Gypsies.
We Gypsies hail her as our Patron Saint, because she is a strong woman of colour, who survived one of the worst White Power atrocities in history.
If there is any painting out there that should be used as the fucking logo of the BLM movement... THIS IS IT! And you destroy her?
Regardless of which side destroyed it, you are both acting like ill mannered children.
One side smash and trashes items, then the other side retaliates back with more smash and trash, so the first side smashes more, then then 2nd side smashes back... when will it end? Both sides are acting like idiots right now. Neither side is making the other side look bad, because both sides are too busy making themselves look bad.
The Ku Klux Klan is parading up and down streets in Maine calling BLM protestors monkeys, and, I gotta say... they are kind of right. I mean, monkeys don't have enough brains to know not to smash things, so monkeys run around smashing things. Humans know better then to destroy things, because Humans know how to use their brains.
Think about that!
There should NEVER be a point, when we can say "The Ku Klux Klan is right."
The Ku Klux Klan are horrible people, and right now THEY are the ones in the right! That shouldn't happen! The villain shouldn't be better than the hero, and right now that is what's happening!
Come on people... 2 wrongs don't make a right.
Don't be like them!
Do not lower yourselves to their level.
We are better then this.
You ALL are better then this.
Stand up and prove you are better.
Smashing everything, because they smash everything, how does that make you any better than them?
It makes you JUST LIKE THEM!
And they are standing out there calling black people monkeys! And I wish I could say they were wrong, but it's kind of hard to do, when you are running around, making mindless grunts, waving spray cans, smashing things up, and FUCKING ACTING LIKE MONKEYS!
You are giving the racists POWER OVER YOU!
That's all the rioting and vandalism is doing.
You are giving power to the fucking white power bastards.
STOP GIVING THEM POWER OVER YOU!
The whole point of the BLM Protests is the SHOW that black people ARE NOT monkeys! To prove that black people ARE humans and deserve to be treated like humans.
They should not be out there chanting "monkey" like that. Yes, they are wrong and it is horrible that they are doing it... but at WHY they are saying it.
They are saying that BECAUSE you are giving them reason to.
Don't prove the Ku Klux Klan to be right about black people... prove them WRONG!
#PROVE THEM WRONG!
Stop giving them power to hate. Stop feeding then fuel to fan their hatred with.
Are you people all so caught up in the frenzy of rioting that you not see yourselves, the way the white power haters see you, right now?
Go to Twitter and look for the hashtag "BLMTerrorists" and spend an hour or two, reading those Tweets.
You really, REALLY, need to look at what you are doing. Look at the message your rioting is sending. LOOK at what they saying about the rioters, the vandals.
They're scared. And that's bad. That's really bad. Because sooner or later, they'll lash back. And it won't be good. It never is.
And look at what the rioters are doing.
It's not just statues anymore.
Did you see the video footage of a mob of rioters who ran into Target, and started smashing up the store with baseball bats, and when an elderly man in his 90s, ran from the store to avoid getting hurt, the mod dragged him to the ground, torn off his Covid19 facemask, starting spitting in his face, while kicking him. That happened this morning.
How about the one that happened Sunday. Another elderly man, this one his 80s, leaving church, heading across the parking lot, going to his car... when a BLM mob, came storming across the parking lot, grabbing anyone they saw and throwing them to the ground. Three men, mauled the old man. Beat unconscious. For no reason. He didn't even see or hear them coming.
That's not right.
That's not protesting.
That's being a gangster.
You know what mobster means, right? It means, being part of mob and beating people up for the fun of it.
That's all this has become. A mob of rioters, beating people up for the fun of it.
You know it is.
Hurting people is never right.
Violence is not going to solve anything.
Violence is just going to make, people who hate minorities, start to hate minorities even more! That the opposite of what we need or want.
Use your brains.
Every time you act like mindless animals, you just give the white power lunatics MORE POWER over you!
Don't give them that power. They don't deserve it.
Look at what is happening.... You destroy their works of art, so they fight back, by destroying ours.
Can't you see what you are doing?
LOOK at the swastika across The Black Madonna's face, and the words BLM underneath.
This is wrong on so many levels.
These riots, all vandalism... you'll gain one or two victories, small ones, meaningless ones, you'll get statues moved... but what is the fucking point?
You've lost focus of the BIG PICTURE... which is saving lives.
Taking down a statue is NOT going to save lives.
You people should be in courthouse, filing paperwork, writing dockets, reading law books, and getting laws passed.
You can do that. You don't NEED politicians to do those things. All you need is the make your case, in front of a judge who agrees with you.
You don't need violence.
You don't need riots.
You don't need vandalism.
You need law books and enough education to know how to write a docket and word it persuasively, so that you can convince a judge, to sign off on that law and get it passed.
Why are none of you doing THAT?
Violence is NOT the answer.
Hate crimes are not the answer.
Riots are not the answer.
Criminal acts are not the answer.
You'll be no help to anyone if you get arrested and are behind bars.
These protests are NOT peaceful, and you're deluded if you think they are.
Yes, there are dirty cops out there. I've met plenty in my lifetime.
But for every bad cop I've ever meet, I've met dozens of officers who were good.
Taking over police stations, setting fire to police cruisers, beating up police officers, just because they are police officers.... none of this is right. It's terrorism.
Yes, action needs to be taken, but not violent action. Look in the mirror... you people are using acts of terrorism to protest acts of terrorism. That's not right.
You don't fight fire with fire.... all that does is make the fire bigger. You are fanning the flames of hate and making them grow.
You fight fire with water. You put the fire out.
You need to tame the lion of hate, make it a lamb of peace. Sooth it. Teach it to see the error of it's ways. Show it that it can trust you, let it know you won't hurt it. That's win the lion over.
But if you attack the lion, threaten it, hurt it, it'll lash back, fiercer, meaner, far worse than it was to begin with.
Can you not see that?
Can you not see, how all this violence is only stirring the haters up more and teaching them to say to themselves "We was right about them minorities"...
You should be showing the haters, that they are wrong, not that they are right.
Every act of violence committed in the name of "Black Lives Matter" only teaches white people, to hate black people even more.
Don't prove the haters they are right, prove them wrong instead.
What the hell is wrong with you people?
Have you all got your heads shoved so damned far up your asses that you are just going to destroy anything and everything you get near now, even symbols like THIS, that you should be hailing as one of the greatest memorials in tribute to people of colour?
She is a tribute AGAINST fucking White Supremacists.... don't you idiots know that?
Or is that EXACTLY the point?
No one saw who did this.
And it happened after so many statues were torn down, statues of white men, torn down by black men.
Are we now seeing here White Supremacists "fighting back"?
But I wonder... how many of the BLM Protesters have ever faced REAL racism face to face?
How many of them, have ever been attacked by the REAL and ACTUAL Ku Klux Klan?
Look at the memes on Twitter, showing supposed KKK pictures... people in white pillow cases with holes cut out.
That is NOT the REAL Ku Klux Klan... you know right?
GOOGLE THE FUCKING BASTARDS! Find out what they REALLY look like, what they REALLY wear.
They wear miter hats, with veils on the front, and long heavily embroidered and beaded white robes, with large red crosses on their capes. Their outfits are EXACT REPLICAS of the Catholic Pope's robes and hat.
It's not a white pointy pillowcase.
Also, ONLY the leaders wear white.
The rest of the members, wear colours based on rank. Green Robes, Red Robes, Blue Robes, Yellow Robes, Black Robes... the REAL card-carrying members of the Ku Klux Klan, DO NOT WEAR WHITE!
There are 200,000 active card-carrying members of the REAL Ku Klux Klan, living in Maine. The largest concentration of them in one place, on the entire planet.
And they are actual terrorists. They build bombs. They murder children. They skin people alive, hang them in trees, and leave them there to bleed to death and long slow death that takes weeks to happen.
And they DO NOT WEAR WHITE!
The fakes as white robes and pillow case hoods, are a thing that was created by Hollywood Movies... it's NOT a thing that exists in the REAL world.
Fake ass wanna-bes, wear white robes and white pillow cases, because they never saw a REAL KKK member and they don't know shit about the REAL Ku Klux Klan. They dress up in white robes and put pillow cases on their heads, because that is what MOVIES tell people the Ku Klux Klan does.
That's how you can tell the fake ass wanna-bes from the REAL Ku Klux Klan. And if you have ever seen them face to face, you'd have known that.
My first encounter with the Ku Klux Klan... I was 14 years old. Me and 5 other children were kidnapped and tortured.
Anastasia was just 4 years old. A toddler. They ripped off her leg. Doing so, pulled her intestines out, and spilled her partly digested breakfast all over the floor.
Then they just left her there.
It took her a week to die.
Tajid... they beat his chest, crushed his lungs. He saved my life. Those blows were meant for me. He got between me and them. He died 2 days later.
July 1, 2001. A backhoe drove my house while my family was gone to the movies. We rebuilt.
February 14, 2003, my doctor's office, First Care Health Clinic, Saco Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine... was blown up with a bomb. My doctor died. 3 of his nurses died. 21 patients were hospitalized in critical condition. The Ku Klux Klan left an 8 foot tall white cross in the parking lot.
It wasn't in the news.
I was there. It was the first Ku Klux Klan bomb, I survived.
May 9, 2006, they beat up my dad, he is in a coma for 2 months, and an additional 6 months in the hospital recovering.
October 16, 2006, a bomb blew up my house, and the Ku Klux Klan left an 8 foot tall white cross in my rose garden.
It wasn't in the news.
It was 1AM. I was asleep in my bed. The bomb was put in the doorway of my bedroom. I was on fire. My hair and my clothes were burned off of me. It was the second Ku Klux Klan bomb, I survived.
We rebuilt again.
April 7, 2007, a backhoe drove over my house, again. We rebuilt again.
Also in 2007, the headless body of a teenage girl was found in the parking lot of Scarborough, Shaw's. Her head was found on the Payne Road, 3 months later, with a circle of 7 dead black labrador retriever dogs around her head.
May 9, 2010, they saw 1964 Dodge 330 car in half.
Also, 2010, a 90-year-old black man, was beaten to death with a shopping cart, in Westbrook Shaw's parking lot, while dozens of white onlookers cheered on his murderer.
May 2013, Southern Maine Community College was evacuated when a bomb was found under my desk, a desk I sat at every day. It was the 3rd bomb I survived.
June 4, 2013, my cousin Murphy's headless body was left in the crossroad of Ross Road and Cascade Road, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
June 8, 2013, my cousin Murphy's head was left in the crossroad of Portland Ave and Road Road, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a 1/4 mile away from where his body had been left.
I live on Portland Ave, 5 houses from that crossroad. I found his body while driving home from work at the Maine Mall.
August 8, 2013, a backhoe drove over my house, again.
November 14, 2013, while putting my art easel in the back of my car, after art studio class at Southern Maine Community College, a man and 2 women, with a metal golf club and 2 metal baseball bats, attacked. They were waiting behind my car. I didn't see them. They broke my legs, my hip, my knee. I was paralyzed for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk.
#You think you know racism... I guarantee you don't know it half as well as I do.
August 2014... Saco Shaw's made national news when a woman's head was found in the ice cream freezer.
A week later another head was found in their dumpster.
April 10, 2015, 12 members of my family were kidnapped, by 14 Ku Klux Klan members, all of them police officers at the Scarborough, Maine Police Department, and Old Orchard Beach, Maine Police Department.
Do you remember Bela? She used to be in all my videos. A police officer beat her head in with a cinder block. Ripped her jaw clean off her face. April 10, 2015. That's why she's not in streams anymore.
Do you remember Georgie? Same thing. Same brick. Split the whole side of his head open.
While a pole with an electric taser neck hold held them down.
12 members of my family, had that happen. April 10, 2015.
How old were they?
The oldest was 14.
The youngest was 4.
Three were 7.
Two were 5.
Yeah. They were very young.
Still think you know what racism is?
But why would white people care about children? Children are disposable in America, remember? Americans murder 5,000 babies every day. Ninety Million babies have been murdered in America, since 1991. It's no wonder, white power terrorists think nothing is wrong with killing children. Murdering babies is, after all the American way.
Two escaped. They lived, but both have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and both are missing all their teeth and most of their jaws.
The other 10?
May 15, 2015, their heads were nailed to my door. Their intestines wrapped around my windows.
It wasn't in the news.
Maine law, only a police officer can report a crime to the news stations or newspapers.
But when the police officers, are marching around wearing white robes and white hoods and erected white crosses in the front yards of the people they torment... there are no police officers too who will file the reports.
THAT is REAL racism.
THAT is REAL police brutality.
But we're just Gypsies, so no one cares.
And this is Maine, the state that is proud to call itself: 99.9% white.
And this is The Town of Old Orchard Beach, a town run by the Ku Klux Klan. They took over our town in 2001. Now they run the Town Hall, the Police Department, the Fire Department, and Dispatch.
Heaven help you if you live in Old Orchard Beach, and you need to call 911, but you ain't white enough for them to respond.
Heaven help you if they do respond... and you're not white enough... because whatever help you called them for, they'll beat the shit out of you.
November 2015, Scarborough Walmart was evacuated, because a bomb was left in my department, under one of the HallMark card displays. I worked at WalMart at the time. It was the 4th bomb I survived.
July 24, 2016, Scarborough Walmart was evacuated, yet again, because a bomb was left in my department, under one of the HallMark card displays. I worked at WalMart at the time. It was the 5th bomb I survived.
July 26, 2016, while putting groceries in my car, at Scarborough Walmart, the same attackers from 2013, beat me with a shopping cart and left me for dead. They broke my spine. Severed the nerves in my spinal column. I've never walked again.
5 times in 2018... you saw my live streams interrupted, as the Ku Klux Klan arrived in my driveway, a shot bullet holes through the walls... you saw them on the live streams. The VODs are still up. I didn't take them down.
October 2019... local Jewish Synagogue was bombed. They blew the whole side off the building. You saw it in my live streams... I drove there and showed you what they did...
It wasn't in the news.
February 12, 2020, yet another of my cousins was gunned down. This time in Scarborough, Maine WalMart, while putting groceries in his car.
Biddeford, Maine's Rotary Park, used to have the Guinness World Record for the tallest, largest flag pole. They took it down 5 years ago. Do you know why?
Because in the dead of winter, Old Orchard Beach Officers, thought it would be funny, the strip a 14 year old boy naked, tie his ankles to the back bumper of a police car, and drive 14 miles from Old Orchard Beach, to that flag pole, and tie the child to the rope, like he was a lag, host him to the top, and left him there. 3 days of blizzard later, a dog walker found him, nearly frozen to death, unconscious, hanging upside down from the flagpole.
They assumed him to be gay, he wasn't, but they thought he was because he was wearing a pink coat.
It wasn't in the news. So if you didn't know the family, you didn't know it happened.
2 weeks ago, Black Lives Matter protestors arrived in Biddeford, Maine... they were meet face to face with white hoods carrying assault rifles, machine guns, and Gatlin guns... the protesters, didn't have the balls to stand up to REAL racists, so they fled to Sanford, Maine... but one of the Ku Klux Klan's primary "club" buildings is in Sandford, Maine, so the protestors were met with even more white hoods carrying assault rifles, machine guns, and Gatlin guns... the protesters, didn't have the balls to stand up to REAL racists, so the protestors fled to Monmouth, Maine, and after 5 hours there... they fled Maine entirely.
It wasn't in the news.
Why wasn't it in the news?
All us locals here in Maine, we saw it happen. We saw the protesters turn tail and run, as soon as the White Hoods marched out with their assault rifles.
The BLM protestors CLAIM they have lived with racism, but when they came to Maine, they found out fast, that they really had no clue, what REAL racists are like.
You don't know racism until you've lived with the fucking Ku Klux Klan terrorizing your town, terrorizing your family.
They kidnapped 12 members of my family. April 10, 2015. Tortured them. Killed 10 of them. And nailed their heads to my door.
#THAT IS FUCKING REAL RACISM!!!
You people don't know shit!
The BLM protestors are attacking statues and paintings because they are cowards who don't have the balls to fight REAL racists. They proved that when they arrived in Maine and got chased out within 5 hours, by the fucking Ku Klux Klan.
Yeah, you want to decry police brutality?
Do you remember a few years ago, a black boy while standing in line, at San Diego Comic-Con, waiting to buy tickets for the convention, was gunned down by a police officer...
Do you know who that black boy was? He was cousin Matt. The one I used to play multiplayer video games with... the reason I don't play multiplayer video games anymore.
His mother was so distraught over his death, that she remarried his father and 7 other men. Yeah, my aunt with the 8 husbands. That's WHY she has the 8 husbands. Her son gunned down by a police officer because he was the only coloured person standing in a line of white people, and the police officer thought that was suspicious.
Attacking statues and paintings doesn't help anybody.
You aren't bringing awareness, you are just making yourselves look like idiots.
Don't be haters.
There are enough haters in the world already. Don't add to the hate.
And those of us, who live with REAL racists in our towns, and are families are being brutalized, tortured, and murdered by those fucking racists... you are making life worse for US...
...because while you can go back home, and be safe, we still have the Ku Klux Klan lording over our town. And no amount of torn down statues or destroyed paintings is going to stop them.
And all you people have done is made things worse, for those of us, who live with the daily constant threat of violence at the hands of REAL White Supremacists.
You people running around calling politicians, actors, singers, white supremacists because of something they said on Twitter... you haven't got a fucking clue what a REAL White Supremacists is like.
And let me ask you this: how are YOU any different, from the racist white people who destroy all things non-white?
You're not. You are just the same.
You are acting just like them.
Violence is only going to breed more violence. Don't you people know that?
You who are destroying things... you don't care about the consequences of your actions, but you will not suffer any harm.
But what about my family?
Persian Gypsies. 1/2 Jewish, 1/4 Native American, and 1/4 Black. Not one drop of white blood in us ... living in Old Orchard Beach... the whitest town, of the whitest state in America... and town that got taken over by the Ku Klux Klan June 2001.
Do you care?
Do you care what they will do to us, in retaliation, for what you people are doing to statues on the other side of the world from us?
Do you care, at all?
You people say you care... but I don't see it.
I don't see it at all.
All I see is a herd of mindless sheep, jumping on a bandwagon, following the herd, and not once stopping to think about the consequences of their actions.
You people keep asking me "Why Avallac'h?", "Why are you so obsessed?", "Why did this fandom take over your life?"... look at the date it started.
* Did you know I'm on 24 hour suicide watch, and I have been since January 4, 2016?
* Did you know I was hospitalized for a nervous breakdown, after 10 members of my family had their heads nailed to the door?
* Did you know I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
* Did you know Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is not itself an illness, but rather is a symptom and a coping mechanism for dealing with extreme emotional trauma?
* Did you know, a team of doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and FBI agents, had me hooked up to tons of medical monitors, heart monitors, blood monitors, a portable EKG... for weeks, so they monitor what activities I did, so they determine a lifestyle change prescription, that would get my resting heart rate under 131 and my blood pressure over 70 over 60?
* Did you know that the doctors discovered that the ONLY time my body relaxes on any level at all is when I'm playing Witcher 3?
* Did you know, I have an actual prescription, which says, to play Witcher 3 as much as possible every day?
* Did you know, playing Witcher 3 is the only thing keeping me alive right now, and my doctors says the worst I could do right now, is STOP playing it?
The Ku Klux Klan took everything from me. My home. My family. My health.
I have no one now. I have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, of the rest of my life, to be crippled, bedridden, and alone.
"Why Avallac'h?", "Why are you so obsessed?", "Why did this fandom take over your life?"... because I used to be able to walk. I used to have a family. I used to have a home. And I'm having a very difficult time trying to find a reason to live. And I needed something to take away the pain. I needed someone who had lost everything as brutalily as I had, to talk to, because only someone who had been through what I had been through, would understand how I feel. I needed something to see, other then 10 heads nailed to my door. It's all I can see. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't close my eyes. I can't get the image of their bloody heads out of my mind.
Playing this video game, researching every detail, writing articles, and sewing the costume, it's the only thing I can do that blots out the images of their heads. And as soon as I stop playing the game, stop rereading the novels, stop making screenshots, stop writing the articles, stop sewing the costume, the images of their heads are back.
I can't function at all any more. I haven't been able to function since April 10, 2015.
This obsession with Avallac'h... it's not about him. He's just the tool that right now keeping me from killing myself, until I can find something else, some reason to live.
And you people, you think because someone called you a hate slur, that you know racism is. You have no clue.
Until the Ku Klux Klan, kills your entire family and nails their heads to your door... you'll never know what it like to live with real racism.
You who don't know REAL racism, you think you are being funny with your acts of hate and violence, smashing statues? If you ACTUALLY knew REAL racism, you'd be so mentally broken that you wouldn't be able to see the statues, because all you can see is the horror of your murdered families's remains.
And because you don't know REAL racism, after you get done destroying things, you can safely go home, because while you THINK, someone is racist, because they called you a "nigga"... it's just a word. These people who murdered my family and destroyed my home, and left me crippled, they call me a "nigga" all the time. I don't even look black. I'm not even close to being able to pass for black. Heck, half the people who call me "nigga" 10 or 12 shades of brown darker than me. I'm 1/4 black, but you wouldn't know it to look at me. I'm physically whiter than most white people. But that doesn't matter to White Power people like the Ku Klux Klan. They don't care about skin colour. They care about blood.
If you think, you know what racism is because someone used hate slurs to describe you, then you don't know a thing about racism. Words can't hurt you. But bombs can. As can golf clubs. Guns can. Shopping carts can.
Look at yourselves... destroying property, vandalism... why? What good does it do? Do you think about those of us who live here and are left behind after you get done trashing things, and you back to the safety of your homes, where the worst thing you have to deal with is people calling you dirty words?
... we are left behind when you leave, and we are the one who will be hanging from flagpoles, our heads nailed to doors, our homes and churches bombed, by REAL racists, who don't just spout off hate slurs, because they are too busy loading their assault rifles and building bombs.
You don't know what REAL racism is.... if you did, you wouldn't be doing these thing, because you'd know how badly every non-white who lives in a town where there are active Ku Klux Klan members, is going to suffer, because of what you people are doing.
If you REALLY wanted to make a difference... you'd do something to make life safe for families like mine, instead of attacking statues and paintings that are never going to hurt anybody.
#STOP THE HATE!
They hate you.
You hate them.
When does it end?
Stop destroying things and start helping people.
Stop spreading hate and start spreading peace.
We who live with actual racism, we desperately need your help... but what you are doing right now... you are making things even worse for us.
Stop making things worse.
Start making things better.
Spread love and peace, not hate and violence.
Before & After Damages Done To The Dazzling Razzberry aka The Autism Awareness Car
What Happened To The Dazzling RazzBerry?
The answer is a vicious streamer on Twitch took to spreading maliciously slanderous sex rumors and lies about me, convincing people that I was what she termed: "A BDSM Dominatrix" Me, a 5th Generation Mormon Turned Voodoo Priestess Rank of Marija Loa! An asexual nun living a celibate life!
| A Look At What Happens When So-Called "Pranksters"
Take Their Twitch Chat & DisCord Sex-Jokes Too Far
How The Avallac'h Playthrough changed my life, caused the destruction of The Dazzling Razzberry Autism Awareness Car, made 28 families homeless, caused the death of a 10 year old
Including a detailed look inside what news media said was "The Worst Child Abuse Case In American History", more info about Etiole, and how growing up in a child sex slavery ring caused my to start The Avallac'h Playthrough - [NSFW] |
Welcome to the New Space Dock 13! Helping Authors Write Weird, Bizarre, Absurd, Psychedelic Horror-Fantasy Since 1996! (We've Moved & Changed URLs; Space Dock 13 is now EelKat.com) (We are also novel-writing-tips.com, a-pink-unicorn.com, & of course are still SpaceDock13.com)
I Now Hold The World Record For The Highest Level Ever Achieved in Witcher 3!!
If This Video Is Active, I'm Live Streaming Right Now...
WARNING: Avallac'h & Ciri Shipping Happens Daily In My Cult of Avallac'h Stream (This seems to piss people off so we seem to need to provide a warning about it)
I have Kanner's Syndrome (ACTUAL Autism, not Aspergers), which means I'm not good at group things. I'm classified as Savant, meaning I have a few things that I obsess about, big time, and have world records in them as a result, and everything else in my life I still require a caretaker to help me with.
I was believed to be mute until I was 31 years old, when a college professor whose day job was working with Autism children, meet me at an Autism Awareness event (I own The Autism Awareness Car, which has 2.5million marbles glued to it - took 4 years to build it). He spent several years teaching me to talk and I was able to get a GED at age 37 (I had never been allowed to go to school as Autism in the 1970s = too retarded to be taught anything so why bother? It was assumed I couldn't be taught, so no one tried to, until I was 31 years old), and started college at age 42.
Today in addition to being a rabid gamer, I'm also an artist (acrylic on canvas and watercolor on rag) sell my art in local galleries, I build art cars and installation art, published over 130 Dark Fantasy novels, and became a retail merchandiser for Macy's, WalMart, and HallMark for 16 years because I'm very good at organizing things... I can't do much else, but I can certainly make sure nothing on the sales floor is out of place.
On Twitch I'm known for my ability to open up a video game and completely rewrite it removing and making my own... I rewrote Witcher 3, removed Geralt and Roach and the combat system, and build my own player character, made travel companions, wrote a new combat system, made new quests, made new maps... removed all the texture files and made all new ones. There's nothing in Witcher 3 that I have not rewritten. With over 4,000 mods now made for it, you can barely recognize my game as being Witcher 3 anymore.... and yet I can't read C++ code.
I spent my childhood and teen years, being told I would never amount to anything. I proved them all wrong.
People see the things I do very well (art, writing, my exemplary organization skills in retail stores, and my ability to open up a video game and completely rewrite it and making my own) but they often don't see past that.
Social skills are a thing I've not yet mastered, which makes streaming very difficult for me as, chat is sensory overload and I have it turned off. I also can't count, do Math, tell time, use calendars, use money, numbers are lost on me.
Basic things - bathing, eating, brushing my hair, etc - that most people have no trouble with, I have caretakers who have to help me do those thing, even though I'm 20, 30, 40 years older than my caretakers. I am VERY low-functioning, but I can write, I can paint, I disect video games, and I can organize things. I just can't do one thing else. Which is very upsetting, because I wish I could. I try too. I don't know why I can't. It's like there are a few things in my brain turned all the way up on super high and everything else is just turned off and won't come on.
And then there are issues with meltdowns, screaming fits, panic attacks, bad ones. Bad enough that I generally avoid contact with the public, simply because I'm tired of dealing with the police. Someone my age, screaming on the floor, people assume I'm on drugs and call the police. It's very frustrating, because I can not control these attacks and I can't stop them once they start.
It is extremely distressing, I'm insanely good at a few things, but everything else, things most of society doesn't bat an eye at, I can't do them, no matter how hard I try. And I'm not capable of "acting properly" or "behaving in socially acceptable ways".
Most people when they meet me in real life, they are very taken back, by how extremely disabled I am. Fans of my novels, meet me at book signings and ask: "So, what's the joke, what's this retard doing here, where's the author?" They refuse to believe, someone as deeply retarded as me, is capable of writing novels.
It hurts a lot, people's reactions to meeting me and them finding out the reality of what ACTUAL Autism, Kanner's Syndrome, is really like... and that it's NOTHING like Asperger's, with it's "cute Sheldon Cooper quirks" that they are used to and think of as being Autism.
They forget, people with Asperger's can live normal lives, they can pass for normal in public if they have too, they get married and have families, and I'm not capable of living on my own or without caretakers, and I never will be.
I wish more people knew the difference between Aspergers and Autism, and how vastly different they are from each other. Far too many people hear that I have Autism, and they automatically assume I have Aspergers, and then they meet me in person, and are shocked, horrified, and they tell me they've meet dozens, sometimes hundreds of Aspies, and when they meet me, they say, they realize, they've NEVER seen Autism before, in spite of all the hundreds of Aspies they've met, and then they tell me, they wish they had known, they wished someone had told them, how starkly different Autism is from Aspergers, because they always say, no matter how many Aspies they worked with, it never prepared them to come face to face with ACTUAL REAL Autism, Kanner's Syndrome, for the first time.
1 in 3 children have Aspergers, it's very common, but only 1 in 1,200,000 children have Autism, it's very rare. In the wake of the mass flood of people calling Asperger's Autism, people forget how incredibly rare actual Autism really is. They aren't the same thing and until you've seen both side by side, you don't realize how different they really are.
People forget WHY I became such a good writer. I was mute for 31 years. Writing was the only way I could communicate with anyone. But I grew up in a family that crumpled up the paper, never even looked at it. In their minds I was too stupid to talk and therefore anything I wrote on paper MUST have been gibberish. They didn't even look at it. So I wrote letters to the cats that lived with us. I started doing that when I was 8 years old. I still do it 50+ years later.
But I'm not likely to be much use in a group, as outside of writing, art, video games, and organizing sale floors of retail stores, I'm too retarded to be able to do anything else. I'm rarely welcomed in groups, because I'm too retarded, too Autistic to fit in, or so I'm always told. I'm rarely of any use to anyone.
Quaraun The Insane The Summoner of Darkness GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
GhoulSpawn waited for the Phooka to fall asleep before approaching Quaraun.
"Quaraun?" he said quietly, hoping to not wake Unicorn. "Are you okay?"
The Moon Elf looked up at the half-Elf. The drugs were wearing off, but he was no yet fully aware of his surroundings.
"He drugged you."
"He drugged you, so he rape you."
Quaraun looked down at his hands and said nothing.
"Are you okay with him?"
"He raped you."
"He didn't. Not really."
"I saw him."
"Quaraun... what's going on?"
"I don't know any more."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I don't think you are."
"He raped you. He drugged you and then he raped you."
"I'm used to it."
"Used to it? That's not the type of thing..." GhoulSpawn sat down on the floor beside Quaraun. "How do you get used to something like that? Was he treating you like this before?"
GhoulSpawn looked over at the sleeping Phooka and then back at Quaraun.
"I didn't know he was hurting you."
"I just saw..."
"I know what you saw. But you don't us. You don't know me and you don't know him. And we don't know you. You're just stuck here in this storm with us. And when the storm's gone, you'll go back on your way and we'll go back on ours."
"I helped you save him."
"I know you did and I thank you for that."
"I didn't know he treated you like this."
"Does it matter?"
"If I'd known he was doing stuff like this to you..."
"You what? Wouldn't have helped him? You'd be dead now. You know that. I would have killed you right along with the rest of your village."
"You admit you killed them now?"
"I didn't know I did. I didn't intend to. But it's not the first time I've lost my temper and an entire village dropped dead."
"The Moon Elves."
"You're own people?"
"They killed BoomFuzzy."
"Him?" GhoulSpawn pointed to the sleeping Phooka.
"Yes. I killed them in a resurrection spell. Took their souls and put them in his corpse. Now he's a Lich. Dead. But not dead. Undead. He's a soul eater now."
"How ever many souls I put in him, that's how many times he can die. If he absorbs a hundred souls. He die a hundred times. Resurrect and come back every time."
"What happens when he runs out of souls?"
"I put more in him."
"Where do you get 'em?"
"I'm a murderer GhoulSpawn. Hadn't you heard? The whole world knows it. There's a price on my head. Gets bigger every day. When this storm passes over, you can run back to your new village and tell them I'm here. Collect the reward for yourself. And the whole village will come, try to kill me, and I'll kill them all, and he'll eat their souls. And then we'll ave to flee to somewhere else. That's what my life has become."
"So you're evil?"
"I'm a Necromancer. Unloved. Unwanted. Just like him. We belong together. Every one hates us. We only have each other."
"You sound lonely."
"Are you not happy with him?"
"I'm not happy with me."
"Do you have any friends... I mean... other then a dead Phooka?"
Quaraun looked up at GhoulSpawn.
"You're the first person I've had a conversation with in years."
"It's only been three years, since we meet."
"Really? I don't keep track of time."
"I thought wizards had to keep track of moon phases and stuff?"
"That would be witches."
"Other then wizards are male and witches are female what's the difference?"
"I can't count."
"I don't keep track of time. I can't count."
"No. I've no head for numbers."
"I thought you had an education."
Quaraun shrugged. "I do. I can speak 78 languages. Read just as many. I've read just about every book known to man. I spend somewhere around three hundred years doing nothing but reading grimoirs. I'm good with words. I can't count to save my life. Can't tell you one number from the other. Can't do maths. Can't do money."
"You don't do ritual magic then, no? No alchemy or science? Nothing that requires mixing potions to exact measures?"
"No. I try and the spells go wrong every time. Horrible wrong some times. No I'm better with words. Incantations. Deadly with a wand. I try to refrain from using it. I've got a bad temper. Best not have the wand in my hand when I get angry."
"I remember. You killed my people with that thing."
Quaraun pulled a small glass bottle from his bag.
"I'm a Wizard of the DiJinn Order. We deal with spirits. Their capture and control. I'm a Necromancer. I communicate with dead things."
"Their capture and control?"
"Like him?" GhoulSpawn pointed to Unicorn.
"Is he captured and under your control?"
Quaraun stared at Unicorn.
"I ask because... I got the impression it was the other way around."
Quaraun nodded, then busied himself with putting the bottle away.
"You're supposed to be the most powerful wizard out there."
"I am," Quaraun answered, not looking up.
"But you can't control him?"
"I can. I just don't."
"No reason to."
"Have you ever tried?"
"Oh, yes. I... I almost killed him. Permanently. So he couldn't come back to life again. I regret doing that. I lost my temper. He ran away. Hid from me. He never did that before. He's scared of me now. I hurt him. He didn't expect that. And he hurt me back. I didn't expect that. We both hurt each other."
"He seems to hurt you a lot more then you hurt him."
"He's mostly harmless."
"Mostly harmless? He raped you. He drugged you, so that he could rape you. And then he raped you. I wouldn't call that harmless."
"He's not hurting me."
"How is that not hurting you?"
"Are you afraid he'll attack you?"
GhoulSpawn didn't answer.
"He won't you know. It's not like he's running around chasing down Elves to fuck. It's just m he goes after. He's obsessed with me. I'm not sure why."
"He's hurting you."
"He's not. Please drop it."
"I often am."
"He attacked you like wild animal."
"He is a wild animal. He's a Phooka. It's how they act."
"I don't understand you."
"I didn't ask you to."
GhoulSpawn became silent. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do.
Quaraun went back to slowly rocking back and forth, staring at the ceiling and humming to himself. He seemed oblivious to the trails of blood running down his back and arms. The scars already there indicated this was not the first time Unicorn had brutally slashed the Elf with his claws.
Everything GhoulSpawn knew about Quaraun, he knew from HellBorne, who, like most everyone else, had never met Quaraun and only knew what they knew, from rumors that were being spread about him by the Guild.
HellBorne had chosen GhoulSpawn, because GhoulSpawn was one of the few people who'd ever actually met the strange pink Necromancer. But their previous meeting had been brief. Quaraun had been wounded by a Human. The Phooka blamed for a thing he did not do. The Sun Elves took the Phooka prisoner and sent the Moon Elf to be cared for by the only one near by who knew anything about medicine. And that was GhoulSpawn.
Quaraun had been unconscious most of his time in the Sun Elf village. GhoulSpawn had only talked with him briefly, just before he left. And so while GhoulSpawn had met Quaraun, he really knew nothing about him. It troubled him now, to see how Quaraun acted.
The hurricane had kept him trapped here in the stone cathedral with Quaraun, Unicorn, and ZooLock, three days now, and in those three days it had become clear to GhoulSpawn that Quaraun had the simple mind of a child and simply did whatever he was told to do, by Unicorn. The Elf appeared to have no free agency, no free will, and no self esteem, along with a completely blind devotion to a monster that truly was a monster and had no compassion or feelings for anything.
Quaraun stopped humming and stared at the Sun Elf.
The two stared at each other silent for a moment before Quaraun spoke.
"I'm too stupid too live. Every one would tell you that, if they weren't all dead. My father would have told you that. He was the worst. I ate him. They didn't love. He does."
Quaraun pointed to the sleeping Phooka.
"He abuses you."
"I know. But he loves me. No one else ever has."
"I wouldn't treat someone I loved, the way he treats you."
"He takes getting used to."
"You shouldn't have to get used to abuse. You deserve to be loved. That's not love."
"I'm too stupid to be deserving of love."
"Does he say that?"
"Did your father say that?"
Quaraun nodded. "And my wife. She said it too. And the day they died... my children, quoting their mother. BoomFuzzy never did that. He doesn't belittle me. He doesn't tease me. He doesn't try to change me. He let's me be me. And I let him be him."
"You let him rape you."
"It's not rape in his mind."
"There's certainly no consent when you don't know what he's doing to you."
"He doesn't think like us."
"That doesn't make it right."
"You don't understand."
"What don't I understand."
"He's a horse. Unicorn actually is a unicorn. He's a very intelligent horse, but there are limits to his intelligence. He views sex differently than we do."
"He still raped you."
"It's my body, not yours."
"Don't you care about yourself at all?"
"Why does it bother you?
GhoulSpawn didn't answer. The question caught him off guard.
"It didn't seem to bother you much that the Sun Elves are all dead. People you lived with your whole life. They're dead. I killed them. You don't care. I'm a stranger. I killed you're people. You should hate me. Here you are sitting here trying to be my friend. You're more concerned with the fact that a Phooka drugs me so he can fuck me, then you are with the fact that I murdered your entire village. Why?"
"I'm a Half-Elf."
"And they never let you forget it did they? We had Half-Elves in our village. I saw what the Moon Elves did to them. Dragged them out into the street. Beat 'em to death. Raped them. Tortured them. Humiliated them.Sun Elves are our kin. They had the same laws we did. You're people are dead and you don't care, because you're a Half-Elf and they tortured you. Didn't they?"
GhoulSpawn looked away.
"I know what it's like to be outcast. He raped me when I was a child, and you know who the Moon Elves punished? Not him. No. They punished me. They stripped me naked and dragged me through the streets. They hung me upside-down in a tree, for five days, every one in the village took turns beating me. Every last one of them. All of them. From the oldest to the youngest. My father nearly castrated me. I can't have sex with women now. I did used to. I had a wife. He raped me, and they punished me. Not him. I know what High Elf laws are like. And I know know how High Elves treat you, if they find any flaw in you at all. Don't think that because I'm a pure blooded High Elf, that I don't know and understand what is done to Half-Elves. You've been raped. I can see it in your eyes. That's why what he did bothers you. And that's why you didn't care, when your village died and only you survived."
"I didn't mean to upset you."
"You haven't. I know my mind doesn't work right. My brain is broken. I will never be normal. Or intelligent. My father was right in that. I am too stupid to live. But I'm not entirely stupid. Not in everything. I just find things difficult. Things every one else finds easy to do. Most things I can't do. No matter how many times I try. It is so frustrating, seeing things that every one does and knowing they are so simple and easy to do, but my brain just can't do them. I'm mostly useless. There's not much I can do. I'm good at what I do and lost in everything else."
"I shouldn't have said..."
"But you did. And it's fine. It doesn't bother me any more. It used to, years ago. I stopped caring what people think about me. I stopped caring about a lot of things."
"Like your dignity?"
"My dignity," Quaraun muttered. "Sex bothers you, yes?"
"Men raping other men, bothers me."
"But men raping women is okay?"
"I didn't say tha..."
"You have a reputation, GhoulSpawn. You know that don't you?"
"I've never raped any one."
"There's an awful lot of angry daddys out there want you dead for fucking their little girls. Young girls. And then there's the sheep."
"I don't have sex with sheep."
"I know that, but that's not people say about you, is it?"
"I can't help what people say about me."
"What's with the sheep?"
"I don't like people killing animals."
"So you stuff your pockets full of sheep?"
"This region has a problem with sacrificing sheep to Elder Gods and Chaos Demons. I don't like it."
"Don't Chaos Demons drink the blood of sheep?"
"I don't know."
"How would I know?"
"I don't know. But it seems like if anyone would know what a Chaos Demon eats, it'd be a Chaos Demon."
"I know what you are GhoulSpawn. Neither Elves nor Humans glow in the dark. Only Demons do that. You can pretend to be half Human all you want. But you can't hide that hair of yours. Not when the lights go out. You're a Demon. People are scared of you. Scared you'll become like your father. GhoulSpawn, Son of the Ghoul. He was a mass murderer. A Unicorn hunter. A Demonologist. Necromancer. Servant of King Gwallmaiic."
"I'm not my father."
"Did you ever meet King Gwallmaiic?"
"No. He died before I was born."
"Do you know anything about him?"
"My father practically worshiped him. Every one in Dark Arts did. He was supposed to be the evilest of all evils to ever exist. Wizards called him 'That Darkness'... and then you came along. They say you make King Gwallmaiic look like a saint. That you're far more evil then he was. They call you 'The Darkness' now."
"Do you think I'm evil?"
"I don't see it."
"What about Unicorn?"
"Unicorn? Selfish and brutal, yes. Evil, no."
"He pushes you around. Drugs you. Rapes you."
"You don't know Unicorn. He's a Phooka, most people don't try to get to know him. He is rambunctious. He's gets carried away in his emotions. He has emotions I can't even begin to imagine. And they're always right there. Right front and center. All of them. All at once. All the time. Absolute complete, raw emotion. He doesn't hide his feelings. He doesn't pretend to be feeling something he's not. He is just so incredibly, extremely honest with how he feels. He doesn't fake or hide his feelings. He is so manic and hyper. He's very open and honest with his emotions. He's the most loyal creature I've ever seen. He does love me. He's a Faerie. The Fey are like wild, feral animals. He takes getting used to. Especially for Elves. Elves hide their emotions. Taught to do it from infancy. Showing emotions is bad. You grew up with pur blooded High Elves, I don't expect you to understand. I'm a pure blooded High Elf, but wasn't raised with them. I've never been good at hiding my emotions. Got beaten up for it all the time. My father was convinced I was half-Faeries. He killed my mother on that conviction. Beat her to death. Convinced she'd bedded with a Faerie. He absolutely refused to believe I was a pure blooded Elf. Sent me away, right after he killed my mother. I was raised by Thullids. I went from living with Chaos Demons to living with a Faerie. I never fit in with Elves. You've lived with Elves your whole life. You're not used to Faeries. Faerie customs, Faerie ways... they're very extreme. He's very extreme. I could ask him to change, or I could accept him as he is. I could make him change and he would change. He's knows he's harsh. He knows he's brash. He's said he would change if I wanted him too. I don't want him to. I like him the way he is. What you saw... you don't know him. You don't understand him. How he thinks, how he acts. I do. He didn't hurt me, GhoulSpawn and he wasn't trying to. He loves me. He'll never hurt me, not intentionally. He's been looking out for me since I was a child. I'd have been dead so many times, if he hadn't always been around."
Quaraun, moved, twisting around to reach Unicorn, and jabbed him with his wand.
Quaraun poked him again, harder this time.
Unicorn slapped the Elf's hand away and turned over.
Quaraun poked him again.
"Why ya poking me," the beast roared, sitting up and glaring angrily at Quaraun.
"Do you remember The Ghoul?"
"The Ghoul. Necromancer. Worked for King Gwallmaiic years ago."
"What for ya speak of him?"
"Do you remember him?"
"Course I 'members da bastard. Lived wid da mudda fucker dids I not?"
The Phooka laid back down. Quaraun poked him again.
"Will ya stop doing that ya frigging pink freak!"
Unicorn grabbed the wand out of Quaraun's hand.
"Did you know he had a son?"
"Son? Nay. Why would I care?"
"This is his son."
Quaraun tossed his thumb in GhoulSpawn's direction.
Unicorn stared at the Half-Elf.
"Yis a Demon?"
"I... I'm... I'm a Half-Elf."
"I can sees that ya stupid dolt of a 'git. That not wat I did gona un asks ya now is it, eh? I asked if yis be Demon?"
"He's a Chaos Demon," Quaraun said. "It's why he calls himself a Chaos wizard. He's also the Son of the Ghoul, that's what his name means."
"Ain't na old enough."
"Ghouly went un gots his-self captured up by da Guild. Dey done went un tossed him into dat dair Hell Dimension. Sealed him up in da portal, de did. Ain't no one ever gone un found no ways to be reopening it. I were being stills alive back then. Him were me general. Best frigging one I did had too. Gibedon replaced him. Eh. Gibedon. Dark hearted Dark Elf. Too ambitious for hims own good. Ghouly was before Gibedon. Un ya did gone un killed me Gibedon."
"Shut ya stupid 'git. I dids nay like Gibedon un ya knows it. Yis replaced Gibedon. Yis best Necromancer yet. Much better then Ghouly. Stupidest danged wizard I ever had, but ain't never seen one wat does stuff yis can does. Never no wants to be on yo bad side. In yi bed side that a different matter. Ain't never had a better bed partner. I'd keep ya just for that even iffy ya were na good wizard, eh?"
Unicorn laid back down and closed his eyes.
"You stutter when you're scared," Quaraun said to GhoulSpawn. "You just had a complete conversation with me and didn't stutter once. Now you're stuttering again."
Unicorn opened his eyes.
"Ayah. Him does be afeared of me. I is wake now."
Unicorn sat back up.
"What me wee Elves did talk on, eh?"
"You. He says you raped me."
"Yis an Elf."
"Obediently being fucked is wat Elves is for."
"So you admit you raped me."
"No reason not to."
GhoulSpawn looked around the room, hoping there was something he'd missed before. Thunder and lightening still boomed outside. Rain still splashed in through the broken stained glass windows. The only door besides the one to the outside, was the one to the basement. He was trapped here with a Phooka, a Thullid, and a crazy Elf.
"Looking for escape hatch, eh?" Unicorn asked.
"Ha ha! Yi was. Can smell ya fear. Kin sees it in ya eyes. Silly lil Demon Elf. Yis terrified of me."
"You're a Phooka. Every one should be terrified of you."
"Eh? Should dey now? Does ya be knowing much of Phookas?"
"He doesn't know who you are," Quaraun said.
"He doesn't know who you are. He thinks you're just another ordinary Phooka."
"Yis this afread of me and not knows who I is?" Unicorn asked GhoulSpawn.
"I don't understand."
"He's looking for his father. The Ghoul."
The half blind Phooka moved closer to GhoulSpawn. Much too close for the half-Elf's comfort. When GhoulSpawn tried to back away, Unicorn grabbed the half-Elf by his long yellow hair and forced him down. With the Lich now nose to nose with him, GhoulSpawn was terrified. He didn't know what to do or how to react. He'd never been this close to Unicorn before and he hadn't realized both how strong the Lich was, or how cold. Unicorn's hands were like ice and is breath like a blizzard frost. In spite of the flesh GhoulSpawn could see on his body, the Lich's hand felt like bones.
The Lich only held the half-Elf down for a few seconds, then released him and let him go. GhoulSpawn immediately scrambled away from the Pink Necromancer and his Phookan Frost Lich.
"Him too young to be Ghouly's son," Unicorn said to Quaraun, then turning towards GhoulSpawn he added. "Ya fear levels have gone up. Sit back down. Yis Quaraun's friend. I will no hurt ya."
"Why did you..."
"I is blind. Could no see ya face. Sit down. I will no hurt ya. I could not if I tried."
"Why? So many t'ing dat could imply. I can see eight inches from me face. It wat I could see when I was alive. It wat I can see now dat I dead. I want to see ya face to see iffy ya look like Ghouly. Ya does. Sit? Because ya shaking like leaf. Skinny lil Elf like ya, yall git hurt iffy ya pass out on t'is here stone floor. Un Quaraun does na trust me to nay eat ya, so him did cast protection spell on ya. I can no hurt ya while him keeping that on ya. That answers all possibly whys. Yes?"
GhoulSpawn looked at Quaraun.
"You cast a spell on me?"
"He's the Elf Eater. He eats every Elf we get near. That's why people call him The Elf Eater. I didn't want him eating you. I like talking to you. It's not often any one wants to talk to me. They're either too scared of me, or think I'm too crazy, too stupid, too retarded. or too insane to try to talk to me. Or they are greedy and just want the dragon's hoard of gold the Guild has on my head for any one crazy enough to try to turn me over to them."
Hamsa Eye of The Grigoi Eye of the Watchers Eye of God Hand of God Eye of Protection Evil Eye Gypsy Curse
"He can't hurt me?"
"No. I told that already. He won't hurt you. I won't let him. I'm a Necromancer. I can control dead things. Even The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, the Lich no one can control. Though it takes all of my streangth and will power to maintain a spell strong enough to contain a creature like him and he knows that. He's been trying to wear me down to break the spell. He's looking for my weak point. That's why he drugged me. And why he raped me. And I knew that. That's why I said you didn't understand, what he was doing to me or why he was doing it."
"Un him will nay be able to keep up da spell on ya much longer. Him grower weaker. The spell's barrier grows dim."
"What happens... when... what..." GhoulSpawn tried to ask.
"Wat happens when it does wears off? It will break iffy him passes out. Which him nay far from doing. Him unconscious, dat'll leave ya alone wid me un da Thullid. I'll drinks ya blood un he'll eats ya brain. Then I'll turn back into a horse, trample ya entrails beneath me hoove un skewer ya skull on me horn."
Unicorn grinned wildly as he watched the reaction on GhoulSpawn's face.
"Ha haha haha! Oooh. Pretty lil, Demon-Elf. So sweet. So scared. I will nay hurt ya, even once da spell wears off. Come. Sit. Do no be scared of me."
"I don't trust you."
"Yis da son of me auld friend un dsa friend of me scawny lil' brainless Elf here. I ain't got no reason to be hurting ya. Still. Ya ain't very auld. Explain dat to me, eh? Ghouly got sealed off some five hundred years ago. Yis barely an Elfling."
"I was born in a Hell dimension," GhoulSpawn answered. "My mother escaped. Took me with her. I'm trying to find my way back there. Time moves differently there. Only a few years passed there, but every year there is like ten years here."
"Eh? Difference in time? So Ghouly could be in Hell for eternity, and only a week pass for him. By time him gets out, every one him knew here dead. Good spell that. Guild knows their stuff. I give 'em that."
"You knew my father."
"Aye. Evil bastard that one. Guild went after him beforing they did me. That says a lot."
"Who are you?"
"Me real name?"
"I is King Gwallmaiic, Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Leader of the Lich Lords."
"You're King Gwallmaiic?"
"The whole world is terrified of you."
"But you can't be King Gwallmaiic."
"How come for?"
"Aye. Love brought him back. Got me a love sick lil' Elf here. Would no let me stay dead. Now here him be. neither living nor dead. I is a VampaLich now."
"Stupid Elf can na get hims spells right. Me is both Vampire and Lich and soul bond to the Necromamcer what built me."
"You sound bitter. Did you not want to be resurected?"
"I killed meself because I were sick of living in this world. What would I want to be brought back for?"
"I'm starting to think you're both insane."
"Oh we is. Stay wid us too long un yall be crazy as we is."
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane Volume 11 of 130 The Summoner of Darkness Full Chapter Index - About The Novel:
Volume 11:The Summoner of Darkness
Back from the dead, once again with Unicorn in tow, and now with the Thullid priest ZooLock his prisoner shackled in chains, Quaraun is headed back to The Screaming Unicorn Tavern in Old Orchard Beach, but finds himself cursed with endless bad luck, as one thing after another drops out of the sky in his path.
Highwaymen, hellhounds, a turtle as big as a house, fire breathing butterflies, a train station from the 20th century, and a strange glow-in-the-dark demonic wizard with pockets full of sheep, who sits in a red armchair in poppy field in the 1400s reading 1980s spellbooks books by Gary Gaygax.
Quaraun goes head to head against The Gremlin, a time traveling wizard from the future who refuses to allow the Pink Necromancer back into Old Orchard Beach, where since his last visit, an evil Sorcerer named HellBorne has erected a giant cursed lighthouse known as The Black Tower.
ZooLock however has other plans, and while 4 rival wizards tear up the town in a wizard's duel, the Squid Headed Aliens From Neptune's Moon and their armies of JellyFish worshiping cultists arrive in town to preform a ritual that will unleash an Elder Brain Chaos Demon, known as The Sacred Pink JellyFish on the world. Too bad they didn't know she was already in town.
NOTE: Most of this novel will be available as free to read online.
Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.
Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing Yaoi, and thus probably is NSFW; reader discretion is advised.
Glimmer Monks wear nothing underneath their robes...
Can Unicorns conceal themselves amongst normal horses and pick them off in secret?
The Thullids Are Gathering Around The Golden Rooster
A Bag Full of Pickled Jellyfish
Back At Black Tower
The Bottomless Pit
I'm HellBorne The Evil, Lord of Black Tower, of The Castle of Blood and Death
Necromancers Don't Wear Pink
BoomFuzzy's Evil Army of Blood Thirsty Marshmallow Tutti-Frutti Fuzzy Wuzzy Fluffy Bunnies
The Cult of The Sacred Pink Jelly Fish
The Pregnant Jellyfish and The Murdered Half-Elf
The Wrath of The Pink Necromancer
Back To Black Tower Again
The Ptarmagin Kats of Space Dock 13
On Board The VISION-D8
Elwin Again (The End?)
Did You Know?
The Summoner of Darkness is the first time The Gremlin, EelKat, Lyxiana, Bela, and Spriggan (all characters from the original 1978 edition of Friends Are Forever, Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor Series) make appearances in The Quaraun series.
While most of the Quaraun series is written with Quaraun as the only point of view character, EelKat, the primary point of view character of the Twighlight Manor series, alternates with Quaraun as a point of view character in Summoner of Darkness.
The novel tells 2 stories side by side, with all odd numbered chapters telling Quaraun's version of the story in the 1400s, and all even numbered chapters being written as letters from EelKat in the 1980s to her sister Lynxian.
A staple in every story that features GhoulSpawn, is his glittering technicolour herd of sheep, that gather around him to listen as he reads Dungeon's & Dragons manuals, while sitting in a red armchair, in the middle of some field.
I own the red chair, btw, which you see me sitting in in my BookTube videos while I read. You can see it in this video here:
The 2 most common reader questions asked about GhoulSpawn are:
What the hell is it with the sheep? They don't serve any plot point and seem to be there for no reason at all. What the hell?
Does GhoulSpawn have sex with his sheep or not?
The first story to feature Gremlin as a main character was The Wild Years, published in 1987. In this story he is a member of PETA on a mission to shut down Procter & Gamble, after encountering a local sheep farm that supplies lambs for Iams dogfood. In the slaughterhouse on the farm is a conveyor belt, onto which baby lambs are herded, then dropped into a grinder where they are chopped up while still alive.
If you have a stomach strong enough to view such things, you can see BOTH the Proctor & Gamble animal by-product grinder and McDonald's hamburger making grinder in this video here, which shows it being used on baby chickens and baby cows.
(The chicken grinder shown in this video is P&G's Iams dog food processing plant and the cow grinder seen here are Mcdonald's hamburgers be made for you.)
Please be warned, this anti-war, human rights, and animal rights protest video shows EXTREMELY GRAPHIC real life footage of poachers, slaughterhouses, human trafficing, KKK attacks, beheaded ISIS victims, and children killed by landmines.
VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED!
Back to GhoulSpawn, the series' resident uber extreme animal rights activist...
This was a very real farm and a very real machine which I had seen when I was 8 years old, and was the reason I became an animal rights activist and a vegetarian. This aspect of GhoulSpawn's character, his being a vegan animal rights activist with a vendetta against P&G is based off my own life. (If you did not know, I am the founder of the real world Procter & Gamble Boycott and many of the Twighlight Manor books were written specifically for the boycott, thus why a character like The Gremlin took centre stage.)
Readers came to know that if Gremlin was in the story, so too would be references to the evils of Procter & Gamble, Iams dogfood's horrific sheep grinding machine, and mysterious disappearing sheep, along with his random ramblings against McDonald's, Burger King, and other giants in the animal abuse industry.
Unfortunately for GhoulSpawn, he's often rambling on deaf ears, as Quaraun, Unicorn, and others from the 1400s, have no way to comprehend the future atrocities being described by the time traveller. The reactions of people from the 1400s varies from thinking GhoulSpawn is a raving lunatic (thus why he is dubbed "GhoulSpawn the Crazed") to people understanding that he has seen something which has horribly upset him and feeling pity for him, but not really being able to understand exactly what he is talking about.
And then, when he can't get people to listen to him, he starts pulling sheep out of his pockets, not realizing that back in the 1400s he's surrounded by superstitious people who view magic, Wizards, and such things as evil sorcery and people practicing them as witches to be burned and destroyed. As a teenager from the 1970s, GhoulSpawn has as much trouble comprehending the 1400s mind as they have comprehending him.
As no one but GhoulSpawn can get anything out of or even see anything in his pockets, he can safely stuff sheep in his pockets and then innocently stand there while people run around like mad trying to figure out where all the sheep are disappearing to. He'll stuff another sheep in his pockets every time no one is looking and will continue to do this until the entire herd is gone/in his pockets. At which point he'll then jump back in his 1974 AMC Gremlin, fly back to the 1400s and set the sheep loose in green pastures.
GhoulSpawn has a particular affinity for Cotswold sheep, and his habit of stealing/rescuing sheep and taking them to the past, is used as an explanation for why Cotswolds were so very overpopulated in Medieval times, yet today are considered an endangered species.
Over the years it became a running gag in the series for other characters to bully and tease Gremlin claiming he had a sex fetish for sheep. However, GhoulSpawn does not have sex with his sheep and often seen deeply upset over the accusation. Because most people in the 1400s do not believe GhoulSpawn is a time traveller from the future, they say that he made up his story of rescuing sheep from "the gambler" to cover up habits of beasillity. Quaraun and Unicorn remain two of the only people to believe GhoulSpawn's story as he has taken them to the future and they have seen the things he speaks of for themselves.
The reason for GhoulSpawn's obsession with sheep, is a secret he rarely reveals and is known only to his closet friends: while the series often bills him as a half-Elf, leaving people to assume in also half-Human, is is rather instead half-Demon, specifically he is an Uruisg, which is a Scottish Sheep Demon, a man with the upper body of a man and the lower body of a Cotswold sheep.
In keeping with the actual Irish, Welsh, and Scottish folklore about Uruisg, GhoulSpawn is somewhat of a trickster and causes chaos to ensure whenever he is around. Also like the actual folklore he is a notorious thief and pickpocket, compulsively unable to control his urge to simply pick up and take every shiny object he sees.
Who Is GhoulSpawn?
This is the first time GhoulSpawn appears using the name GhoulSpawn. In previous volumes he was using the name Glinta instead.
Quaraun's teenaged lover GhoulSpawn is a "natural born" Sorcerer. He is a half-Elf/half Demon.
GhoulSpawn's father was an evil Demon who commanded an army of Ghouls. Because of this, he was known simply as "The Ghoul".
GhoulSpawn's mother was a Sun Elf whom had fallen in love with The Ghoul, but was forbidden by her family to have contact with him. She in turn ran away with her Demon lover, thus causing a war between Elves and Demons.
The Sun Elves tell a story of how their Princess was kidnapped and raped by the Ghoul, thus she gave birth to the Spawn of the Ghoul. Though his mother named him Glinta, she died while he was still very young, and his Elven kin, took to calling him GhoulSpawn as a way to brand him not one of them.
GhoulSpawn is an interdimensional time traveller, because he is unable to remain in any one time, place or dimension long, because he was born in the Hell Dimension, which exists outside of the realm of time and space as we know it. The Ghoul tried to escape the Sun Elves by going to the distant future (1974) and leaving his half-Elf son and the boy's mother there to live among a band of LSD addicted hippie Humans whom drove a 1974 AMC Gremlin.
The Sun-Elves eventually found their missing she-Elf and brought her back to the 1400s where she belonged, but she refused to leave her half-Demon son behind.
After his mother's death, GhoulSpawn was made a servant to his High Elf step-father and full blooded Elf step siblings, all of whom abused him and treated him like a slave. He grew up constantly being told he, because he was only a half-Elf, was unloved and unwanted and should have been killed at birth, resulting in the very low self esteem he has.
Neither Demons nor half-Elves are considered welcomed members of society, both being forced to live in small tribal groups on the outskirts of civilization. Both are often stoned to death or hung if they dare set foot in a city.
GhoulSpawn being both a Demon and a half-Elf is doubly mistreated by the majority of the world's population. He takes to travelling with Quaraun because Quaraun simply accepts GhoulSpawn as he is and is not bothered by being seen in the company of either a Demon or a half-Elf.
There are several instances when people try to bully GhoulSpawn and Quaraun (a high ranking full-blooded aristocratic High Elf) is quick to stand up for him, protecting and defending the half-Elf. Quaraun is often classified by other Elves as "insane" simply because he is willing to be friends with a half-Elf.
GhoulSpawn has a speech impediment which lessens when he is relaxed and grows worse the more nervous or frightened he becomes.
Around calm laid back characters like Quaraun, GhoulSpawn speaks without difficulty. However around domineering, headstrong, or bullying characters such as Unicorn or HellBorne, GhoulSpawn develops a stutter, making it difficult for him the get to the end of a sentence.
Because he is a Demon, GhoulSpawn was born with natural magical abilities, making him a rare "natural born wizard" or sorcerer.
GhoulSpawn is typical of a Sorcerer in the Quaraun series, in that he has Demon blood, was thus born with a Demon's natural ability to cast magic on some levels, has taking to self-teaching himself how to control the magic powers he was born with, is outcast from society because of his link to Demons, and is generally not well thought of, even though he is not in any way evil, and is in fact the only part of the cast who could be considered anything close to being a Hero.
Being a time traveller, there are times when Quaraun encounteres both GhoulSpawn and his future counterpart Gremlin in the same novel.
This is the first novel in the series to feature multiple versions of GhoulSpawn in a single novel.
GhoulSpawn remains one of the most hated and most loved characters in the series. People who dislike him, absolutely despise him and have gone so far as to request I remove his character from the series entirely. While people who love him, often cite him as their favourite character and often request I add him into more stories more often.
For the people who don't like him, I'm sorry, but he remains one of my favourite characters of the series and he's not going anywhere.
For the people who want to see more of him: there are plans to make changes to several stories in the series to include him in the future editions, more often.
You can find out more about GhoulSpawn here:
Did You Know: Summoner of Darkness was written on location at the real Witch Pond?
Meet The Real Witch Hole Pond:
If You Want To Visit Witch Hole Pond For Yourself, Here Are The Directions To It: (Address is: Witch Hole Pond, Carriage Road, Mt. Desert Island, Acadia National Park, Bar Harbour, Maine)
Interview With EelKat While Walking On The Real Road To Witch Hole Pond In Bar Harbour, Maine
A Real Turtle In Witch Hole Pond:
A Bald Eagle Bathing In Witch Hole Pond:
And the swamp just before the pond...
Driving Park Loop Road Around Witch Hole Pond...
And climbing Bubble Rock Mountain overlooking Witch Hole Pond...
This novel was originally written in: 2014 - 2016
Did You Know: Summoner of Darkness was written on location at the real Witch Pond?
Meet The Real Witch Hole Pond:
If You Want To Visit Witch Hole Pond For Yourself, Here Are The Directions To It: (Address is: Witch Hole Pond, Carriage Road, Mt. Desert Island, Acadia National Park, Bar Harbour, Maine)
Interview With EelKat While Walking On The Real Road To Witch Hole Pond In Bar Harbour, Maine
A Real Turtle In Witch Hole Pond:
A Bald Eagle Bathing In Witch Hole Pond:
And the swamp just before the pond...
Driving Park Loop Road Around Witch Hole Pond...
And climbing Bubble Rock Mountain overlooking Witch Hole Pond...
I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.
The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.
Phrases he yells from the truck include:
"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"
"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"
if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"
He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"
My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autism - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalized several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.
After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here: https://youtu.be/NUebzJ9sz9U and here: https://youtu.be/C4dZbgG-Smw
This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.
As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.
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