The Journey Begins:

Chapter ??

The Enchanted Map

(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)

(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)



The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
Volume 4 of 130

The Journey Begins:

Chapter ??

The Enchanted Map

(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)

(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet fully edited. The published print edition may be different.)


Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.

Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?


You can Find out more about the main characters here:


Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.

The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.

Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.

Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.

Reader discretion is advised.















By Wendy C Allen

f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:



...and after that video, you want these ones:

eelkat_red_scarf.jpgWendy Christine Allen, 2019, able to sit up in a chair for the first time in years, and able to raise up my arm and wiggle fingers. This was when I started playing Witcher 3 on Twitch as part of my physical therapy to regain finger movement. Playing Witcher 3 daily from 2016 to 2019, is how I regained the use of my thumb and two for fingers on my right hand... it is also why I stopped playing Witcher 3 in 2019, once I had strengthen my two forefingers enough to start typing again.

Wendy Christine Allen, Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author, Artist, Illustrator, & Art Car Designer

Counting Down to the September 23, 2028 50th Anniversary of my first published book (September 23, 1978)

If you are here looking for The Twighlight Manor series, The Crystonite Wars series, The Wild Years series, The White Rock Asylum for the Criminally Insane series, The Twisted Tales series, the Captured By a MerMan series, The Space Dock 13 series, The Kats of Planet Ptarmagin series, the stories about Miss Citten the Eel-Kat, or the stories about Etiole... ALL of those series were combined and consolidated into The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane Pink Necromancer series in 2014, so ALL the different series, are now under one series title.

List of the published titles still in print:

The Index of over three thousand stories in The Pink Necromancer series

What the series is about, for those new here:

The introduction to The Pink Necromancer Series. 

If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:

My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.

As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.

There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.

Coming soon (Nov/Dec 2026)... patterns for my slow stitched embroidery:

BoomFuzzy-scottish-phooka-faerie-kelpie-form-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art2
BoomFuzzy-scottish-phooka-faerie-cooney-rabbit-form-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art
BoomFuzzy-scottish-phooka-faerie-nuckalavee-form-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art4
12-dancing-princesses-trow-king-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art
BoomFuzzy-scottish-phooka-faerie-kelpie-form-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art14
green-witch-faerie-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art
BoomFuzzy-scottish-phooka-faerie-enchanted-pony-form-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art4
BoomFuzzy-scottish-phooka-faerie-nuckalavee-form-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art7
fishing-village-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art7
mermaid-Wendy-C-Allen-felt-embroidery-art7

The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.

There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.

I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:

  • No, I do not believe in aliens. Stop contacting me to ask for alien information. If you believe in aliens, I think you are insane, retarded, or both.
  • No, my car is not haunted. I've debunked that rumour many times now. . Stop contacting me to ask for haunted car information. If you believe in haunted cars, I think you are insane, retarded, or both.
  • No, I am not connected to Stephen King. I didn't even know who he was until you idiots started contacting me asking about him. I had to look him up on Google to find out what you were even talking about! If you have questions about Stephen King, go contact him and ask him. I'm not him. I don't know him. I know nothing about him. I've never read one of his books. I've never seen one of his movies. I can't figure out why you people are even coming to me to ask about him in the first place!
  1. If someone told you I believe in aliens, if someone told you my car was haunted, if someone told you I was connected to Stephen King, you NEED to contact the FBI agent in charge of my son's murder investigation and TELL HIM WHO it was who told ou, exactly WHAT it was they said, HOW they contacted you, WHERE they contacted you... because it is a KNOWN FACT that my son's murderer is the one who started all these slanderous alien, haunted car, Stephen King rumours, and the FBI is trying to catch her.

If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

Do you know who this woman is?

On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.

She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.

Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.

Clairescreenshot.pngThe golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club.
zzzz999ClaireRed2016-screenshotThe Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
@eelkat part 9 of 10 #dogwalk around the block (Maine st, Elm st, South street, Bradbury st) #Biddeford #Maine #night #fbiinvestigation #truecrimetiktok ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?

Video explains what else she's done ...

If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.


The Goldeneagle World's Most Haunted Car - 1964 Dodge 330If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
@eelkat part 7 of 10 #dogwalk around the block (Maine st, Elm st, St Mary's, Dunkin, South street, Bradbury st) #Biddeford #Maine #night #plannedparenthood ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

@eelkat part 4 of 10 #dogwalk around the block (Maine st, Elm st, St Mary's, Dunkin, South street, Bradbury st) #Biddeford #Maine #night #library ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

eelkats_house_before_after.jpgIf you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

I am sick and tired of people not giving a shit that my son was murdered!

I am sick and tired of jackasses making up rumours and lies about me and my car, calling me an alien abductee and my car haunted, just to try to cover up my son's murder!

The Journey Begins

 is

a short Novel of only 100,000 words

(fewer than 180 paperback pages)

This chapter is...

Word count: 2,326

or

8 paperback pages.




The Journey Begins:

Chapter ??

The Enchanted Map


(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)

(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet fully edited. The published print edition may be different.)

<<< Previous Chapter:

~o0o~ Chapter  ~o0o~

The trio had been walking most of the day. Quaraun, having walked more or less around the entire globe and back several times now, was used to endless walking, but he new companions, never having taken up life on the road before, were finding it difficult to keep up with the High Elf's steady pace. The first few weeks of travel, he had slowed down so they could keep up, but now he was lost in his head, thinking his usual dark and morbid thoughts of death, dying, and suicide and was no more paying attention to his companions, thus Quaraun once again had picked up his usually brisk pace and BeaLuna and Bullgaar found themselves falling behind.

"Quaraun!" BeaLuna called ot. "Wait up! Quaraun!"

"He's not listening," Bullgaar said.

"I can see that," the Gnome said. "QUARAUN!" She yelled even louder.

Quaraun stop walking, pricked up his foot long ears and listened to the air.

"Finally!" BeaLuna said as she ran to catch up with the Moon Elf. "I've been trying to get your attention for the last half hour. Do you have any idea..."

"Shut up," Quaraun snapped. "I'm trying to listen."

"Listen? To what? You certainly ain't been listening to me, that's for sure. I've never seen any one so damned self-absorbed..."

"I'm an Elf. I don't have time for your emotional pitter patter...."

"Emotional pitter patter? Quaraun, you are the most arrogant, self-righteous, unemotional..."

"I'm an Elf. Get used to it. Now shut up!"

"I most certainly will not shut up! Just because you're an Elf doesn't give you the right..."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

BeaLuna immediately stopped talking. She and Quaraun had grown up together, but it had been many years since they had last seen each other. As a child, he had been a shy, quiet, timid little boy who never raised his voice to any one. Even as a young adult he had been that way. But that was 300 years ago. Quaraun was a much older, middle aged Elf now, no longer the little Elfling she had been used to. He'd never yelled at her before. She had never heard him yell at any one before. She had not imagined he even could yell. So she was quite taken by by it now that he had yelled at her.

"You've changed," she said quietly.

"The whole world has changed, BeaLuna, or haven't you noticed?"

"You've become bitter. Angry. You didn't used to be like this."

"I used to have a family."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's getting late. We need to find a place to set up camp."

Quaraun began walking again. BeaLuna and Bullgaar followed, but remained silent now.

"Quaraun?" BeaLuna asked timidly.

"What?"

"Have you been alone this whole time?"

"Yes."

"But it's been 300 years."

"So?"

"That's a long time to be alone."

"It's not like any one cared."

"I did. I still do. I would have gone with you. But I didn't know where you went. You just ran off after... after... your wife, and your children, and your father, and the king, and the whole village. Everyone was dead and you... you ran off into the woods and... I couldn't find you."

"Did you try to?"

"Yeah. I did."

"From what I saw last week, it looked like you never left the village. You were still there when I came back after all. And you're a Gnome. How did you stay alive for 300 years?"

"I don't know."

"You haven't aged a day since I last saw you. Can you explain that."

"No."

"BeaLuna, you were standing in the exact same place, you were standing, the day everyone died."

"So?"

Quaraun stared down at the tiny Flower Gnome.

"So? I'm prone to hallucinations, and I haven't seen anything to indicate to me that you are anything other than a figment of my imagination."

"Bullgaar too?"

"Bullgaar too."

"So people have called you insane so often now that you've started to believe it?"

"I'm an outcast Elf. Do you even know what that means?"

"You've been cut out the hive mind. You can't mentally communicate with other Elves any more."

"I'm alone inside my body, the same way a Human is now and I hate it. I've been cut out of Elf society and no one cares."

"I care."

"You've yet to convince me you're real."

"And you've yet to convince me you're evil."

"I'm a Necromancer."

"Who's dressed like a pink prostitute."

"Will you stop complaining about my clothes."

"The only thing I've ever seen you resurrect are roses."

"I like roses."

"Yeah. You always did."

"Well you stop following me."

"No."

"Why?"

"I haven't seen you in 300 years. We used to be best friends. You used to tak to me."

"I'm talking to right now aren't I?"

"This is not the same, Quaraun, and you know it. You used to tell me everything."

"And you used to tell my father everything I said."

BeaLuna stepped back. Quaraun's anger was flaring, and grew worse at the mention of his father.

Quaraun stomped off angrily, but once again stopped abruptly, twitching his ears and listening.

"What do you keep hearing?"

"I don't know."

Quaraun looked back behind them, staring down the road. Then looked ahead of them.

"I feel like someone is following us."

BeaLuna also looked up and down the road, but the road of fairly straight and quite a long distance of absolutly no one on the road, could be seen in either direction.

"I don't see anyone."

"Niether do I. But I heard someone."

"Well, you got ears like a rabbit. You can hear stuff from a few miles away, can't you?"

"Yes. But I can also tell distance and... it was close. Very close." 

Quaraun looked out into the forest. Blueberry fields, scattered with young pines and oaks, lay to the West. To the East was a cliff that tumbled down into a ravine, before ambling off into the ocean not far away.

"Could be a bear," BeaLuna said. "Right time of year for it. Bear like blueberries."

"Yes. Could be a bear," Quaraun agreed.

The Elf started walking again and his two companions followed him. Quaraun once again pulled his map out of his bag and began reading it while he walked.

"Does that thing really change to tell us where we are?" BeaLuna asked.

"It's supposed to, but it's not working right now."

"What's it doing?"

He stopped and showed it to her. The enchanted map was an ancient brown scrap of crumbling paper. The map itself was drawn out in what looked to be crayons, and was very childish, as though drawn by a toddler. A long road spanned ahead and behind, exactly as was the road on which they stood. Cerulean blue crayon waves scribbled their way back and forth across the East side of the map, water splashing up out of the paper, as each wave drew itself anew. To the West big cartoon blueberry stick men ran back and forth, while yelling: "Eat me!" 

"Uhm... the blueberries are talking," BeaLuna said.

"Yes, whenever food shows up, it starts yelling 'Eat me!' to let us know we are near food. The Elf Eater liked food and he designed the map to show him whenever food was nearby. He almost starved to death one winter, as a child, and he became obsessed with food as a result. He's quite a good chef actually."

"You, sound like you know him."

"I did know him. I like him. Quite a lot actually. I rather wish he was here."

"Quaraun, don't go making wishes, again."



Hamsa
Eye of The Grigoi
Eye of the Watchers
Eye of God
Hand of God
Eye of Protection
Evil Eye
Gypsy Curse


"Did I wish for something?"

"Yes you did."

"Oh dear. Why do I keep doing that."

"I don't know. Anybody else says 'I wish' and nothing happened. You say it and all hell breaks loose."

"I'm a DiJinn. It comes with the job. It's not just my wishes. It happens whenever I hear any one wish for something too."

"Can't you control it?"

"No. I don't even know how it is I do it. It just happens."

"It wouldn't be so bad if you got the wishes right for once."

"It's not like I try to make bad things happen. You don't know what it's like being a wish granting wizard and never knowing what's gonna happen when you grant someone's wish. Why do you think I avoid living around people. 'I wish' comes out of people's mouths all day long. Force of habit. And they never mean it."

"Well, why do you do it then."

"Do what?"

"You keep saying 'I wish' at the beginning of all your sentences and YOU of all people should know better then to do it!"

"I don't know. What did I wish for this time?"

"You wished for The Elf Eater of pepper Valley to be here."

"Did I? Oh dear."

"I mean, what is wrong with you? Why the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley of all people? He's a mass murdering bastard! Serial killing war lord. Serial rapist pervert. He kills people for the fun of it."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing he's dead," Bullgaar said.

"Bullgaar," BeaLuna chidded. "You don't understand. He's a Necromancer. If he wishes for a dead person to be here, they're gonna rise up from the grave and be here."

"That true?" Bullgaar asked Quaraun.

"Yeah."

Quaraun recalled that he had earlier wished the talk to BeaLuna, and she had suddenly showed up, exactly where it was he had last seen her, not looking a day older then the day... the day he had killed every one in his village. He tried to remember if she had been ome that day. She had lived next door. He couldn't remember. Hadn't BeaLuna died with everyone else?

And what about Bullgaar? Quaraun thought sure he had killed Bullgaar that night in the tavern, yet, here he was. Silent as a grave most of the time, but following Quaraun every where anyways.

Where they both dead? Had he somehow wished them back to life? 

Quaraun didn't know what to think.

BeaLuna went back to examining the map while Quaraun ran these thoughts through his head.

"So," BeaLuna finally said. "What's wrong with it? I mean, it looks like it is showing us exactly where it is we are."

"Look closer," Quaraun said, pointing to the place on the road that marked their position on the map.

BeaLuna looked at the enchanted map for a moment, at first not seeing what Quaraun meant, but then she saw it...

She looked up the road ahead of them. Then looked back behind them. Then looked back down at the map again. 

"It shows 4 people standing in the road."

"Yes."

"But there's only 3 of us."

"Exactly."

"Bullgaar look at this." 

BeaLuna handed the map to the half-Dwarf-half-Hill Giant.

After a bit of explaining, because because Bullgaar had not been listening, BeaLuna quickly got the Hill Giant Dwarf back up to speed.

"So, you're saying the map says someone is following us, but we can't see them?" Bullgaar asked.

"Yes," Quaraun answered. "That's exactly what the map is telling us."

"So, why can't we see them?"

BeaLuna didn't give Quaraun a chance to answer.

"Faeries," BeaLuna said, fear dripping from her voice. "Quaraun, are we in a Fae Forest?"

"Possibly."

Quaraun looked around at the not very tall trees. "Though it doesn't look like it. Fae like big trees. Old growth pines. Hundreds of feet tall. There's nothing like that around here. Can't be a tree over 30 feet tall for as far as I can see."

As Quaraun said this, a giant pine tree drew itself onto the map, but as no one was looking at the map just then, no one noticed.

"There's one," Bullgaar said, pointing to the road ahead.

Quaraun turned and looked to see what Bullgaar was pointing to. There not 20 yards ahead of them, stood a massive ancient pine tree, well over a hundred feet tall.

"That wasn't there a minute ago," Quaraun said.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I'm an Elf. I would have noticed a tree like that. How curious."


<<< Previous Chapter:

Next Chapter:  >>>


Volume 4: The Journey Begins

Picking up immediately where The Night of The Screaming Unicorn ends... Quaraun continues on his way to Inuvik, intending to kill himself once he arrives home, only to find that in his 300 year absence, a Human village has been built up over the remains of the decimated Moon Elf village.

Quaraun's sanity wavers more than ever, as he questions the reality of his two traveling companions, both of whom he is certain he murdered years ago. Quaraun decides to head back to the coast in search of the Unicorn, but can't shake the feeling he's being followed. 

BeLuna the Gnome, oddly still alive these 300 years after the destruction of the Moon Elf Village and still sitting in the exact same spot where Quaraun had left her 300 years ago, joins the Elf in his search for the Unicorn.

Annoyingly for Quaraun, BeLuna disappears whenever any one else is around and is nowhere to be found when he crosses paths with a gang of Elf hating drunk Dwarves and again when Orcs show up.

Wandering aimlessly through the forest, lost and now accompanied by a disappearing Gnome and a silent Dwarf, Quaraun is at a loss to explain who his companions are or why they are following him. Rumors that the serial killing Pink Necromancer is now travelling the countryside building an army of Gnomish Ghosts and Dwarven Zombies doesn't help matters any.

Things are not right with Quaraun's two new companions, and it takes an Undead Unicorn to show the Necromancer there are some things no one else can see.



TRIGGER WARNING:

This volume contains heavy use of suicide, cutting, and depression  references, including graphic on page descriptions of cutting and suicide attempts.

If you suffer from depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or are easily upset by such things, it is highly recommended that you avoid reading any of this novel.

(Some of these free to read online sample chapters are NSFW)



The Journey Begins, is Part 2 of The Night of The Screaming Unicorn:

List of the currently available free to read online chapters:


Home Again



The Gnome That Refused To Stay Dead



Raped By The Mountain Dwarf



Alone Again



Bullgaar the Vulgar (NSFW)



The Dwarf's Wife



A Dwarf In The Night



Gnomes and Dwarves That Are Not There



The Enchanted Map



The Black Jaguar/The Phooka



The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley/That Bastard Murdered Me! Wait? Why Aren't I Dead?



The Double Dicked Unicorn



How To Properly Fuck an Elf



Humans For Dinner



Another Day, Another Town



Ooloff The Stupid



Oolong The Wise



Waiter, There's a Head In My Soup



The Orcs and The Necromancer (NSFW)









Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.

The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.

Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.

These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.

Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.

Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.

Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.

The Quaraun Series 

Meet The Characters:

Quaraun's World:

Characters:

Culture:

Magic:

The World:

The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane:  First draft/sample chapters from the  novels.

NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.

  • More sample chapters can be found here: (note, while these chapters are linked in chronological order, they are not continuing one to the next, they are chapters spanning from Volume 1 all the way to volume 119, of a series that has 130 novels/volumes.)

  • Pink Links are pages on this site. Green links go to the pages found on my DeviantArt account.

  • Chapter 1: King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish (Chapter 1 of the entire series)
  • BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  • The Dying Elf, Gibedon's Head, and King Gwallmaiic's Elf Eating Mansion
  • Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole
  • An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  • I Loved My Children, But I Loved BoomFuzzy More
  • Doe'Uan and The Lonely Elf
  • Finding Finderu 
  • Kelim Meets Quaraun The Insane
  • Pocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders Findaru
  • Captured By The Lich Lord 
  • An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit
  • The Lich's True Form Revealed 
  • Bullgaar the Vulgar 
  • The Enchanted Map
  • Waiter, There's a Head In My Soup
  • The Orcs and The Necromancer 
  • The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)
  • The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)
  • The Beginning of the End
  • The Witch Massimara Of Mount Yenka
  • Psychotic Dead Things
  • Six Days Earlier
  • There is no Mournful Lamb Inn
  • The Swamp of Death
  • The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  • Introducing GhoulSpawn
  • The Demon Cultists & The Coming of The Darkness
  • EelKat and The Kats of Planet Ptarmagin
  • The Moon Elves of Ivujivik
  • The Return of ZooLock The Great
  • The Gremlin's Warning
  • A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond
  • The Road To Witch Pond (Part 2)
  • The Road To Witch Pond (Part 3)
  • Santa's Dead Floating Body
  • Worms!
  • GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  • The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  • A Fourth Letter To Home - The Masochistic Elf With Stockholm Syndrome
  • GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  • The Strange Village or I Love The Smell Of Decomposing Bodies In The Morning
  • The Golden Rooster
  • Meeting Mallac
  • Serial Killer At Large
  • The Summoner of Darkness
  • Corsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries.
  • Visiting The Scene of Murder #1 With An UnGelded Stallion
  • I Never Wanted To Be a Wizard
  • Sheep Again
  • Back At The Tavern and Still No Shrimp
  • A Tavern Scene Part 3 - Quaraun, Unicorn, GhoulSpawn, - Time Travel, Chastity Cages, and Whores
  • Tumbling Down Stairs With Slutty Elves and Angry Liches
  • Where Are You Hiding That Horse?
  • The Hostess Twinkie Aisle of Biddeford WalMart
  • Quaraun Meets HellBorne The Evil
  • The Map of the Town
  • Quaraun Meets BatDude & Pigeon Poop Boy
  • Pepperell Square, Saco, Maine, In The Year 2525
  • No Goldfish, Today?
  • Chocolate Covered Elves 
  • Evil Elves 
  • How To Kill A Lich
  • The Lover's Triangle 
  • At Gremlin's House / Kill The Baby
  • I Am Not GhoulSpawn
  • Sheep
  • Santa's Letter to Satan 
  • Going North To Head South
  • Alone
  • In Black Tower
  • You've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman
  • "Sold! To Zebulon, for two million dollars."
  • The Last of The Moon Elves
  • FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been 

  • Answering Reader Question About The Quaraun Series:

    Behind the Scenes:
    A Look At How I Write The Quaraun Series...

    The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house. 

    The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following:

    • suicide
    • drug use
    • cutting
    • depression
    • polygamy
    • BDSM
    • sex fetishes
    • CBT (cock and ball torture) 
    • sounding
    • knoting
    • barbed penises and toothed vaginas 
    • monsters eating Humans
    • blood thirsty Faeries
    • Elves eating Elves
    • Faeries eating Elves
    • squid headed aliens eating brains out of still alive victims
    • medieval torture
    • schizophrenia
    • stockholm syndrome
    • sadism
    • masochism
    • rape
    • incest
    • dub-con
    • necromancy
    • necrophillia
    • ritual murder
    • flaying (skinning a person alive)
    • child sacrifice
    • cannibalism
    • bloodletting
    • vampirism (the mental illness, not the mythical creature)
    • crude language (including an excessive use of the words fuck, cock, dick, testicals, balls, scrotum, and penis) 
    • interracial relationships
    • M/m/m relationships
    • gay men
    • bisexual men
    • transvestite men
    • men who have sex with unicorns(horses)
    • tentacle porn sex with squid headed aliens
    • shape-shifter sex
    • ménage à trois relationships
    • double dicked men
    • tripple dicked penitration gay sex scenes
    • bananas, pickles, candy canes, unicorn horns, and glass wizard wands used as dildos
    • main character Quaraun is a man with 4 wives (one of whom is also his sister, another of whom is also his daughter)  
    • Quaraun has 2 male lovers
    • Quaraun has 4 children by his sister
    • Quaraun has 3 children by his daughter
    • Quaraun has 1 child that is the result of him raping a woman
    • Quaraun has 37 children by prostitutes
    • the primary secondary character, Unicorn, is a chemist "candy maker" and detailed instruction of how he makes his drugs, including recipes to do so are included in the novels

    The Quaraun series has been banned by the following:

    The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church 

    (1991) (Reason: too much sex)

    (Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014)


    The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine 

    (2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan)


    New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine 

    (2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)

    (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014)


    Fan-Fiction.net 

    (2012) (Reason: Too violent)


    Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine 

    (2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)

    (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint)


    Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government 

    (January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574) 

    (Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters  depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents)

    27 volumes of the Quaraun novels were forced to be unpublished/removed from Amazon by the government issued court order that cited these books as "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach"

    NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".)


    Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban.


    Sample Chapters of Many of the Novels Are Available To Read Online:

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 24: The Dread Chant of the Fan Boys

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 23: The Return To Fire Mountain

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 31: The Crystal Palace of Mt. Demontooth

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive

    Volume 00: 000000

    106: The Haunted Lighthouse

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 00: 000000

    Volume 108: Friends Are Forever

    (Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series)

    Volume 119: My Two Favorite People


    Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.

    Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn,  Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.

    With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].

    Reader discretion is advised.

    Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?


    Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.

    April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing. 

    October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html

    If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.


    This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

    All Rights Reserved.

    Note: there are likely spelling errors on this site, and I am unlikely to see the ... I fix them when I find them, but, there are many issues here...

    Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.

    Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.

    For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:

    American English to Scottish:

    a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "

    a long distance from = A piece fae

    a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "

    about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks

    accomplishments = kunnandi

    After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "

    alive (living) = kvikr

    Always on the move = Never aff o da go

    am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"

    are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"

    autumn = dah haihst

    belong to = fylgja

    best = bettah moost

    betray (verb) = svíkja

    bewildered = villhyggjandi

    building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "

    built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."

    cast a spell = hoodooed

    cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"

    child = bairn

    church = kirk

    color = colour

    danger = hœttr

    daren't = darena

    daring = djarfr

    dark = dökk

    dark elf = Dökkálfr

    dark-elves = Døkkálfar

    darker = dökká

    do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"

    do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"

    each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "

    educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "

    elf = Alfr

    Elf = Álfr

    Elf Home = Álfheimr

    Elf World = Álfheimr

    elf-advice = Ælfred

    elf-beautiful = ælfscyne

    elf-friend = Ælfwine

    elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru

    elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard

    elf-powerful = Ælfric

    everyday = ivvryday

    eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"

    fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."

    feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."

    further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."

    green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."

    handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "

    have faith = trúa

    Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis

    Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.

    have not = ain't

    He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.

    He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.

    Head for = Mak wye for

    head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak

    head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie

    horse fly = klegsie

    I = Me

    I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "

    I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)

    idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."

    idiot = numpty

    if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "

    I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye

    know = ken

    looked = lokid

    looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."

    magic = hoodoo

    naked = nøkkviðr

    needle = bodkin

    neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "

    No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "

    Nobody knew = not-knew nobody

    Noontide = Da heicht o da day

    NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"

    NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."

    old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "

    orange = o'jinn

    out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."

    outside = oot dair

    people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "

    people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."

    poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "

    Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "

    shield = skjoldr

    Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "

    tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "

    the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"

    them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"

    there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."

    they = dey

    To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."

    understand = understonde

    understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "

    very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"

    Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"

    Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "

    For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people:  https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf  

    The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf 

    More information about our language can be found on this website:  https://www.iheardee.com  which is written in my native language.


    However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.

    My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.

    It is a very great struggle.

    At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.

    Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.

    I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.

    Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.

    Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.

    If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.

    However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.

    My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.

    While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.

    As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.

    I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.

    Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.

    As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.

    have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.

    I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.

    I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".

    It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
    There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"

    The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.

    The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.





    While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.



    Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂

    And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭

    Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻

    eelkat_red_scarf.jpg

    Wheelchair Fundraiser

    @eelkat

    i just found out there is yet another bizarre rumour going around. where are these wild rumours coming from? who is starting them? and why?

    ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
    @eelkat

    since I've been flooded with hundreds of messages the past two weeks asking if I still own "the world's most haunted car", yes, and here it is, filmed today May 18, 2026… but my son Xavier is dead, i am crippled and given that people are AGAIN showing up calling my Dodge "haunted", calling my friend "an alien", calling me "transgender", and spreading wild defamation slander connecting me to Stephen King, I think I need to start taking down the contact information of every blogger, podcaster, youtuber, and social media account spreading these rumors, and sue every single one of them for CAUSING my car to be cut in half May 10, 2010, for CAUSING the backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013, for CAUSING my son's murder November 14, 2013, for CAUSING me to be crippled and in a wheelchair November 14, 2013, and for CONTINUING to CAUSE harassers to show up in person to harass me near daily, STILL now in 2026. EVERYONE telling you my car is haunted, telling you my friend is an alien, calling my car "the goldeneagle", calling my friend "Etiole", or trying to connect me or my car to Stephen King, is lying to you. They crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, and a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet identified the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club and the FBI believes that it is friends and family of the woman who did it, are the ones who started and spread the rumors saying my car is haunted, saying I'm an alien abductee, saying all kinds of similar bs about aliens, ufos, ghosts, witchcraft, demons, and Stephen King connections, even though I don't believe in ghosts, aliens, ufos, demons, and had never heard of Stephen King before 30k of his fans showed up in my yard trying to find my car! FBI believes the backhoe driver and the murderer are the same person and it is a developer who wanted my land and so started the Stephen King, ghost, and alien rumors all in an attempt to drive me off my land, and when it didn't work they drove a backhoe over my house, and when that didn't work they crippled me and killed my son. Why are they doing this? How do I get them to stop?

    ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author






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    Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.

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    Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

    My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....

    ... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.

    While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.

    eelkats_house_before_after.jpgMy house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since.

    The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground

    On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.

    She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.

    The attack also triggered labour.

    My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.

    Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.

    The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.

    The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.

    Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.

    Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.

    Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.

    Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.

    The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

    Clairescreenshot.pngIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

    The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

    zzzz999ClaireRed2016-screenshotIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

    The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

    Kendrascreenshot.pngIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

    Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

    I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.

    Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.

    Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.

    Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.

    In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.

    Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.

    But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.

    I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.

    Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.

    Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.

    I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.

    My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.

    Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.

    Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

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