EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author
EelKat Wendy C Allen - Author Interview: Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Fantasy Author Interview

#UPDATE: January 6, 2021:
To all of you who are sending me video clips this morning and asking "Is this your family?"...


To answer your questions...


* Yes... my relatives ARE on every news station in every country of the world today, yes they did ORGANIZE the attack on the Capitol Building... and I am horrified by it.


* No, before you guys sent me the video footage clips, I was unaware the attack had happened, I do not own a TV and do not seek out news reports on the internet, so had you not sent me those clips I would never have known the attack had happened at all


* Yes, many members of my extended-family were involved in organizing the attack on Washington D.C.; one of my aunts claims to be the organizer, she is now wanted by the FBI for questioning


* Yes, I can see 1 uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 1st cousins in those pictures and news reports.


* Yes, the shooter is the high priest cousin you saw posting gun photos and death threats on my FaceBook, Twitter, and Twitch chat


* Yes, that is the 2 cousins who founded the group "The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan More Loyal Than The Loyal White Knights", in the gif/memes trashing reporter cameras and jumping on said cameras 


* YES, that IS the uncle who was paying the Discord tittie streamer $500 a month to stage the "deserve to be raped raids" on my Twitch channel 


* Yes, that uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 cousins ARE all members of Heaven's Gate and were party to the original UFO cult kool-aid murder suicide that killed 39 people in 1997


* No, I do not support anything they do or have done; it's been more than 30 years since I last saw, talked to, or interacted with any of them


#And please, stop forwarding video footage and news reports to me. I want nothing to do with those jackasses. We share DNA, not ideologies. They absolutely disgust me.


* If you were there, please be aware that 4 of them are now bragging on their social medias that they currently have Covid-19 and that they were spitting on police and government officials during the attack on the Capitol Building; yes it is confirmed they DO actually have Covid-19... 9 members of their immediate family have died in the past month and is what instigated them to join the mob at D.C.


* Yes, all of them are wanted by the FBI... if you have any information about ANY of their crimes INCLUDING today's attack on Washington D.C., do NOT send it to me, send it to the FBI agent in charge of the case: 


#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322


This whole thing is very distressing for me. I do not like the kind of attention that gets put on ME because I happen to be related to THEM.

Far too many people harass my family, online and offline, because of these dipshits in our rather distant family tree.

I prefer to stay out of the public eye and deeply dislike being pulled into the paparazzi spotlight every time this group of lunatics pulls one of these ridiculous terrorist attack stunts.


It was very distressing for me to wake up this morning to find email, and every contact method on every social media, packs full of thousands of questions, links, and forwards, all asking me if that was my family that was being plastered across every news station on the planet.


It was bad enough to learn a terrorist attack had happened and it was even worse to learn it was yet again my uncles behind it.


Though I can not say I'm surprised to learn these jackass dipshits I have to share DNA with were involved. This certainly isn't the first terrorist attack they took part in.


Considering this 1 uncle, 2 aunts, & 23 cousins, all who took part in Heaven's Gate murder of 39 people in 1997, 1 of whom built the bomb for 2013's Boston Marathon, and 2 of whom founded the Loyalist White Knights... were involved in this attack too... I hope they get life in prison, they fucking deserve it.

.......

#UPDATE: January 9, 2020....


Good news, one of them was just arrested in Florida. He's the guy all over Twitter today, waving to security cameras while stealing Nancy Pelosi's lecture pedestal. My relatives are insane. I hope he never gets out.


At least he can't post death threats and rape threats in my Twitch chat anymore. I hope they arrest them all.


Why do I have to share DNA with these psychotic lunatics?


You can support your political party without being a violent, crazed, psychopathic terroist, you know.


#And random thought...


You know... all the people saying Trump supporters should stop inciting violence and go read their Bible, clearly have never read the Bible and have no clue how much violence and genocide God commands in the Old Testament... shouldn't it be the Trumpies need LESS Bible influence? Isn't it the Bible that inspired them to be violent in the first place?


And you want to know something else...


26 of those people now arrested for attacking the Capitol, had ALREADY been reported, in October 2019, for planning an attack on the government...

I know beause I filed that report on 3 uncles, 2 auns, and 23 cousins when they started building bombs and bought 4,000 asult rifles, while claiming they were building an army.

This attack was a long time in the planning and couldhave been prevented and the FBI knew about it 2 years ago.


But hey... guess what... the FBI knew about the Heaven's Gate murder 8 MONTHS before those same 26 people murdered 39 people under the shadow of Hale-Bop... AND the FBI knew in 2012, 5 months ahead of time that these same 26 people were building bombs for the Boston Marathon.


Same 26 people over and over again. This time some of them actually got caught... but the Heaven's Gate crew, has 4,000 members in Maine, Florida, Mississippi, Wyomin, Colorado, and Nova Scotia.


They are gaining members all the time. They claim they are building God's army, they claim Trump is "the God-King" God's form on earth, they also believe he is a shapeshifting reptilian alien, and they claim to be waiting for a mothership that will fly in the shadow of Comet Wormwood.


They claim "when the Trump of jubilie sounds" they will be ready to kill all who oppose them, because they believe they are God's Army and they do not fear death, for they also believe that through death, they "will be changed in the twinkling of an eye" and transformed into mighty arch angels to enact vengange of all who oppose them.


They embrace death, to the point, like they did in 1997, they will kill themselves if they have to, and take everyone around them with them.


Heaven's Gate should be feared and they should be in prison, not building gallows on the front law of the Capitaol building while trying to hang the Vice President.


How many decades will Heaven's Gate's members be allowed to kill and main unbridled? They are terrorists and NEED to be arrested and put in prison, BEFORE they do what they are planning and unleash a bomb that will kill every one "East of the Mississippi" as they put it.


My uncle David is dangerous, and now with his brother Bruce, leader of Heaven's Gate since 1997, dead from Covid19, David's crew has become far more dangerous than they ever were.


This attack they staged on the Capitol, it's not the end, it was just them firing a warning shot of something far bigger yet to come.


They need to be stopped BEFORE they kill more people.


How many times will this same group be allowed to kill over and over again, before someone stops them?


.......


1 uncle, 2 aunts, & 23 cousins were there; they are the leaders of Heaven's Gate AND the Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan; they have 4,000 members armed with assault rifles, ready to march on command, and that's JUST the group in Palmyra, Maine - they NEED to be stopped... this post they made on Twitter is NOT a joke... they WILL march Jan 19... they MUST be stopped... Jan 6 was just a warning shot


https://twitter.com/profmath56/status/1347582047485906945?s=20




UPDATE: January 14, 2021
I received a deeply troubling question today... let's answer it...

I received a deeply troubling question today... let's answer it...


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*if someone asks me to do something in exchange for a donation...? I stream, and today someone I've never seen before sent me a message on discord asking me if I want [insert ridiculous amount of money here]. I of course replied asking what for, and the guy replies saying 'complete 25 challenges, for example #1 would be pulling a funny face. If you complete all 25 challenges then I donate the money.' Oh, and he also sent me screenshots of what I assume is supposed to be proof that he's dono'd tons of money to others before. This seems sus AF to me. Should I just assume it's fake / he'll ask me to do something weird? What do?*


................


You've heard of the recent attacks on the American Capitol, right?

Have you NOT also heard about the 26 Twitch streamers who have found their name's on the FBI's no fly list even though they live in Europe and have never been to America?

Have you looked at today's day January 14 vs the date of the next 2 planned attacks, January 17 and January 20?

I doubt you'd ask this question if you HAD heard of what happened, so let me me summarize:

A group of terrorists spent several months planning an attack on Washington D.C. They took to intermingling with election rallies, so no one would suspect them. 

Meanwhile, online, they sought out a way to make 26 fake IDs for their group to use on attack day (January 6).

They ended up contacting 26 Twitch streamers the genders and approximate ages of the 26 people they had in their group going to D.C. 

Each streamer was sent an offer for being donated $500 in exchange for doing things. The streamers thought it seemed innocent enough and was easy money, so did it.

The reason for the $500 amount, was PayPal requires additional verification on large amounts, meaning, they were given the REAL NAMES AND HOME ADDRESSES of those 26 streamers. They next took those names and made 26 fake IDs using the names and addresses of those 26 streamers.

They used those fake IDs January 6 at D.C. and now as of Jan 7, those 26 streamers found their names on the FBI's no-fly list.

Those 26 terrorists, tossed the fake IDs and used their real IDs to leave D.C. and made their way back to Florida, Mississippi, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine, successfully returning home, while hundreds of other rally attendants found themselves unable to get on planes.

Given what those 26 did just before Jan 6, I would question anyone asking something similar to any streamer, right now, this close to Jan 17.

I highly recommend you report them to the FBI as possibly connected to the Jan 17 attack. **[https://tips.fbi.gov/](https://tips.fbi.gov/)**

The 26 people in question by the way... my uncle David, his wife Luci, his sister Barbie Jean, and 23 of their children, grandchildren, and great grand children... only one of whom so far has been arrested... the one who stole Nancy Pelosi's pulpit. On their way home to Palmyra, the rest showed up in my driveway January 11, to chant "All hail God King Trump" while bragging how they didn't get caught and outwitted the FBI and are going back to D.C. on Jan 17 and Jan 20.

Chances are VERY HIGH that the man contacting you was David's son Shem, who is the one who contacted the others prior to the Jan 6 attack, or so he bragged on Jan 11, while shooting off his rifils in my driveway, from a red 1980s vintage Jeep Cherokee.

Beware of the Atwaters, the Halls, the Cyrs, and the Johnsons... they ain't sending you money unless they are planning on using you to take the fall for some crime they plan to commit and blame on you. You'll go to jail and they'll walk free, like they always do, like they've been doing since the 1950s.

... ..............................
..UPDATE: January 14, 2021...
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...MODS TAKE NOTICE!...
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...NEW BAN RULES ADDED TO THE CHANNEL... ..............................
...From today forward ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight...
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...I do not want any member of the 4Chan, 7Chan, Anon, QAnon or any similar terrorist organizations near my channel...
.............................. 
...BAN THEM ALL!...

#As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATELY BAN** anyone and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.

I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.

#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.

#I do not want any member of this terrorist organization near my channel.

#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.

#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.

The "Chan" movement... OMG! They are fucking psychotic extremists. I had no clue what "Chan" meant or why people put it at the end of their username. Knowing what I know now and looking at the fact that the ringleader behind the 3 year long attack on my Twitch channel has the word "Chan" at the end of her username, the wild sex rumors she spreads about me FINALLY make sense.

Today one of my mods sent me the following message:

*"I noticed the girl trying to cancel you has "Chan" at the end of her username, as do many of her followers. I also noticed your confusion over her attacks and I wonder, do you know what "chan" means or why streamers put it at the end of their username? Everyone who has "Chan" at the end of their username is a witch hunting channel, it is how they identify themselves. It means they are extremist radical trolls from 4chan. There is even a wiki devoted to the "Chan Movement". Here, you'll want to read this. **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan)** and this **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology)**Twitter has started to ban anyone using "chan" at the end of their username because is identifies the user as connected with white supremacy hate groups. She's a QAnon terrorist and proud of it, that's why she has "chan" at the end of her name. That's why she is working with your uncles. She helped them plan the attack on the Capitol. She's a QAnon member. That's why she has the word "chan" at the end of her username. Every QAnon member does that. I didn't realize you had never heard of QAnon or 4Chan until I saw your Tweet last night. I'm s sorry. I thought you knew that is what she was. I would have messaged you sooner about this if I had known you didn't know what QAnon was. Also "Thingy" is a slang word, it means "a child's vagina" people put that in their username to signify they are supporters of child rape. These are really bad people attacking your channel. They are the same people who just attacked America's Capital. When they are chanting "ThingyChan" in your chat, it's a QAnon secret code word, it's another word for rape, it's a rape threat, it's them bypassing the NightBot ban of the word rape. It means they are threatening to gather up 4Chan members to rape you. 4Chan QAnon's use secret code words to bypass chat bans because they know most people don't know what the code words mean. It's like a Morse Code that only they know."*


Here is what the Wiki has to say:

>>>>*"4chan is an anonymous English-language imageboard website. Launched by Christopher "moot" Poole in October 2003, the site hosts boards dedicated to a wide variety of topics, from anime and manga to video games, music, literature, fitness, politics, and sports, among others. Registration is not available and users typically post anonymously; posting is ephemeral, as threads receiving recent replies are "bumped" to the top of their respective board and old threads are deleted as new ones are created. As of November 2020, 4chan receives more than 20 million unique monthly visitors, with more than 900,000 posts made daily."*

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>>>>*"The site has been described as a hub of Internet subculture, with its community being influential in the formation of prominent Internet memes, such as lolcats, Rickrolling, and rage comics, as well as hacktivist and political movements, such as Anonymous and the alt-right. 4chan has often been the subject of media attention as a source of controversies, including the coordination of pranks and harassment against websites and Internet users, and the posting of illegal and offensive content. The Guardian once summarized the 4chan community as "lunatic, juvenile ... brilliant, ridiculous and alarming""*

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>>>>*"Before the end of 2003, several new anime-related boards were added, including /h/ (Hentai), /c/ (Anime/Cute), /d/ (Hentai/Alternative), /w/ (Wallpapers/Anime), /y/ (Yaoi), and /a/ (Anime). Additionally, a lolicon board was created at /l/ (Lolikon),[26] but was disabled following the posting of genuine child pornography and ultimately deleted in October 2004, after threats of legal action."*

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>>>>*"On November 17, 2018, it was announced that the site would be split into two, with the work-safe boards moved to a new domain, 4channel.org, while the NSFW boards would remain on the 4chan.org domain. In a series of posts on the topic, Nishimura explained that the split was due to 4chan being blacklisted by most advertising companies, and that the new 4channel domain would allow for the site to receive advertisements by mainstream ad providers."*

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>>>>*"/pol/ ("Politically Incorrect") is 4chan's political discussion board. A stickied thread on its front page states that the board's intended purpose is "discussion of news, world events, political issues, and other related topics." /pol/ was created in October 2011 as a rebranding of 4chan's news board, /new/, which was deleted that January for a high volume of racist discussion."*

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>>>>*"Although there had previously been a strong left-libertarian contingent to 4chan activists, there was a gradual rightward turn on 4chan's politics board in the early-mid 2010s. The board quickly attracted posters with a political persuasion that later would be described with a new term, the alt-right. Media sources have characterized /pol/ as predominantly racist and sexist, with many of its posts taking an explicitly neo-Nazi bent. The Southern Poverty Law Center regards /pol/'s rhetorical style as widely emulated by white supremacist websites such as The Daily Stormer; the Stormer's editor, Andrew Anglin, concurred. /pol/ was where screenshots of Trayvon Martin's hacked social media accounts were initially posted. The board's users have started antifeminist, homophobic, transphobic, and anti-Arab Twitter campaigns."*

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>>>>*"The users of /r9k/ built upon by then popular 4chan memes "epic win" and "fail" to group the human population into "alphas" or stereotypical well-adjusted popular people and "betas" or stereotypical geek-ish social rejects, self-identifying with the latter. It became a popular gathering place for the controversial online incel community. The "beta uprising" or "beta rebellion" meme, the idea of taking revenge against women, jocks and others perceived as the cause of incels' problems, was popularized on the sub-section. It gained more traction on the forum following the Umpqua Community College shooting, where it is believed that the shooter, Chris Harper-Mercer, also warned people not to go to school in the Northwest hours prior to the shooting as users encouraged him. The perpetrator of the Toronto van attack referenced 4chan and an incel rebellion in a Facebook post he made prior to the attack while praising self-identified incel Elliot Rodger, the killer behind the 2014 Isla Vista killings. He claims to have talked with both Harper-Mercer and Rodger on Reddit and 4chan and believes that he was part of a "beta uprising", also posting a message on 4chan about his intention the day before his attack."*

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>>>>*"Anonymous originated in 2003 on the imageboard 4chan representing the concept of many online and offline community users simultaneously existing as an anarchic, digitized global brain. Anonymous members (known as Anons or QAnons) can be distinguished in public by the wearing of Guy Fawkes masks in the style portrayed in the graphic novel and film V for Vendetta. However, this may not always be the case as some of the collective prefer to instead cover their face without using the well-known mask as a disguise. Some anons also opt to mask their voices through voice changers or text-to-speech programs."*

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>>>>*"On January 19, 2012, the U.S. Department of Justice shut down the file-sharing site Megaupload on allegations of copyright infringement. Anons responded with a wave of DDoS attacks on U.S. government and copyright organizations, shutting down the sites for the RIAA, MPAA, Broadcast Music, Inc., and the FBI."*

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>>>>*"In the wake of the fatal police shooting of unarmed African-American Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, "Operation Ferguson"—a hacktivist organization that claimed to be associated with Anonymous—organized cyberprotests against police, setting up a website and a Twitter account to do so. The group promised that if any protesters were harassed or harmed, they would attack the city's servers and computers, taking them offline. City officials said that e-mail systems were targeted and phones died, while the Internet crashed at the City Hall."*

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>>>>*"In March 2016, Anonymous was reported to have declared war on Donald Trump. However, the "Anonymous Official" YouTube channel released a video denouncing #OpTrump as an operation that "goes against everything Anonymous stands for" in reference to censorship and added "we are for everyone letting their voices be heard, even, if the person at hand ... is a monster.""*

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>>>>*"In late 2017, QAnon, a pro-Trump group claiming to be the "real" Anonymous, first emerged on 4chan. In response, anti-Trump members of Anonymous warned that QAnon was stealing the collective's branding."*

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>>>>*"Since 2009, dozens of people have been arrested for involvement in Anonymous cyberattacks, in countries including the U.S., UK, Australia, the Netherlands, Spain, and Turkey. Anons generally protest these prosecutions and describe these individuals as martyrs to the movement. The July 2011 arrest of LulzSec member Topiary became a particular rallying point, leading to a widespread "Free Topiary" movement."*

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>>>>*"QAnon is a disproven and discredited far-right conspiracy theory alleging that a cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against U.S. president Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal. QAnon also commonly asserts that Trump is planning a day of reckoning known as the "Storm", when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested. The conspiracy claim is entirely fictitious. QAnon supporters have accused many liberal Hollywood actors, Democratic politicians, and high-ranking government officials of being members of the cabal. They have also claimed that Trump feigned conspiracy with Russians to enlist Robert Mueller to join him in exposing the sex trafficking ring and preventing a coup d'état by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and George Soros. The QAnon conspiracy theories have been amplified by Russian state-backed troll accounts on social media, as well as Russian state-backed traditional media."*

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>>>>*"Although preceded by similar viral conspiracy theories such as Pizzagate,[23][24] which has since become part of QAnon, the conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous imageboard 4chan by "Q", who was presumably an American individual;[25] it is now more likely that "Q" has become a group of people acting under the same name. A stylometric analysis of Q posts claims to have uncovered that at least two people wrote as "Q" in different periods. Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance, who has access to classified information involving the Trump administration and its opponents in the United States. NBC News reported that three people took the original Q post and spread it across multiple media platforms to build an Internet following for profit. QAnon was preceded by several similar anonymous 4chan posters, such as FBIAnon, HLIAnon (High-Level Insider), CIAAnon, and WH Insider Anon. Although American in origin, there is now a considerable QAnon movement outside of the United States, particularly in Europe."*

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>>>>*"QAnon adherents began appearing at Trump reelection campaign rallies in August 2018. Bill Mitchell, a broadcaster who has promoted QAnon, attended a White House "social media summit" in July 2019. QAnon believers commonly tag their social media posts with the hashtag #WWG1WGA, signifying the motto "Where We Go One, We Go All". At an August 2019 rally, a man warming up the crowd used the QAnon motto, later denying that it was a QAnon reference. This occurred hours after the FBI published a report calling QAnon a potential source of domestic terrorism—the first time the agency had so rated a fringe conspiracy theory. According to analysis by Media Matters for America, as of October 2020, Trump had amplified QAnon messaging at least 265 times by retweeting or mentioning 152 Twitter accounts affiliated with QAnon, sometimes multiple times a day. QAnon followers came to refer to Trump as "Q+""*

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>>>>*"The number of QAnon adherents is unclear as of October 2020, but the group maintains a large online following. In June 2020, Q exhorted followers to take a "digital soldiers oath", and many did, using the Twitter hashtag #TakeTheOath.[42] In July 2020, Twitter banned thousands of QAnon-affiliated accounts and changed its algorithms to reduce the conspiracy theory's spread.[43] A Facebook internal analysis reported in August found millions of followers across thousands of groups and pages; Facebook acted later that month to remove and restrict QAnon activity,[44][45] and in October it said it would ban the conspiracy theory from its platform altogether. Followers had also migrated to dedicated message boards such as EndChan and 8chan (now rebranded as "8kun"), where they organized to wage information warfare in an attempt to influence the 2020 United States presidential election.[47] Following Trump's loss to Joe Biden in the election, QAnon beliefs became a part of attempts to overturn the results and Trump's loss, culminating in the storming of the United States Capitol, leading to a further crackdown on QAnon-affiliated content on social media."*

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>>>>*"Anonymous is a decentralized international activist/hacktivist collective/movement that is widely known for its various cyber attacks against several governments, government institutions and government agencies, corporations, and the Church of Scientology."*

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>>>>*"Project Chanology (also called Operation Chanology) was a protest movement against the practices of the Church of Scientology by members of Anonymous, a leaderless Internet-based group. The project was started in response to the Church of Scientology's attempts to remove material from a highly publicized interview with Scientologist Tom Cruise from the Internet in January 2008."*

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>>>>*"The project was publicly launched in the form of a video posted to YouTube, "Message to Scientology", on January 21, 2008. The video states that Anonymous views Scientology's actions as Internet censorship, and asserts the group's intent to "expel the church from the Internet". This was followed by distributed denial-of-service attacks (DDoS), and soon after, black faxes, prank calls, and other measures intended to disrupt the Church of Scientology's operations. In February 2008, the focus of the protest shifted to legal methods, including nonviolent protests and an attempt to get the Internal Revenue Service to investigate the Church of Scientology's tax-exempt status in the United States."*

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>>>>*"Reactions from the Church of Scientology regarding the protesters' actions have varied. Initially, one spokesperson stated that members of the group "have got some wrong information" about Scientology. Another referred to the group as a group of "computer geeks". Later, the Church of Scientology started referring to Anonymous as "cyberterrorists" perpetrating "religious hate crimes" against the church."*

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>>>>*"Members of Project Chanology say their main goal is "to enlighten the Church of Scientology (CoS) by any means necessary.""*

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>>>>*"Project Chanology began its campaign by organizing and delivering a series of denial-of-service attacks against Scientology websites and flooding Scientology centers with prank calls and black faxes. The group was successful in taking down local and global Scientology websites intermittently from January 18, 2008 until at least January 25, 2008."*

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>>>>*"Protesters in Boston, Los Angeles, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Edinburgh, London, and other cities worldwide, wore Guy Fawkes masks modeled after the 2005 film V for Vendetta. Guy Fawkes was an English Catholic executed for a 1605 attempt to destroy the House of Lords. In V for Vendetta, a rebel against a near-future fascist regime uses the mask in his public appearances and distributes many of its copies to the population to enable mass protests."*

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>>>>*"According to The Washington Post, "the site's users have managed to pull off some of the highest-profile collective actions in the history of the Internet."*

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>>>>*"Users of 4chan and other websites "raided" Hal Turner by launching DDoS attacks and prank calling his phone-in radio show during December 2006 and January 2007. The attacks caused Turner's website to go offline. This cost thousands of dollars of bandwidth bills according to Turner. In response, Turner sued 4chan, 7chan, and other websites; however, he lost his plea for an injunction and failed to receive letters from the court."*

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>>>>*"KTTV Fox 11 aired a report on Anonymous, calling them a group of "hackers on steroids", "domestic terrorists", and collectively an "Internet hate machine" on July 26, 2007.[137] Slashdot founder Rob Malda posted a comment made by another Slashdot user, Miang, stating that the story focused mainly on users of "4chan, 7chan and 420chan". Miang claimed that the report "seems to confuse /b/ raids and motivational poster templates with a genuine threat to the American public", arguing that the "unrelated" footage of a van exploding shown in the report was to "equate anonymous posting with domestic terror"."*

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>>>>*"In May 2009, members of the site attacked YouTube, posting pornographic videos on the site. A 4chan member acknowledged being part of the attack, telling BBC News that it was in response to YouTube "deleting music"."*

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>>>>*"On October 18, 2006, the Department of Homeland Security warned National Football League officials in Miami, New York City, Atlanta, Seattle, Houston, Oakland, and Cleveland about a possible threat involving the simultaneous use of dirty bombs at stadiums. The threat claimed that the attack would be carried out on October 22, the final day of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan."*

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>>>>*"On November 29, 2010, Ali Saad, a 19-year-old, was arrested and had his home raided by the FBI for posting child pornography and death threats on 4chan. Ali had first visited 4chan "a week before [the FBI raid] happened". He admitted to downloading about 25 child pornography images from 4chan."*

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>>>>*"Collin Campbell, a U.S. Navy Machinist's Mate, was arrested in February 2011 after a fellow seaman found child pornography on his iPhone that he downloaded entirely from 4chan."*

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>>>>*"In January 2011, Matthew Riskin Bean, a 20-year-old man from New Jersey, was sentenced to 45 days in prison for cyberbullying on 4chan."*

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>>>>*"According to court documents filed on November 5, 2014, there were images posted to 4chan that appeared to be of a murder victim. The body was discovered in Port Orchard, Washington, after the images were posted. The posts were accompanied by the text: "Turns out it's way harder to strangle someone to death than it looks on the movies." A later post said: "Check the news for Port Orchard, Washington, in a few hours. Her son will be home from school soon. He'll find her, then call the cops. I just wanted to share the pics before they find me." The victim was Amber Lynn Coplin, aged 30. The suspect, 33-year-old David Michael Kalac, surrendered to police in Oregon later the same day; he was charged with second-degree murder involving domestic violence. Kalac was convicted in April 2017 and was sentenced to 82 years in prison the following month."*

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>>>>*"On July 14, 2019, 17-year-old Bianca Devins was murdered by 21-year-old Brandon Clark of Utica, New York after the two went to a concert together. The suspect took pictures of the victim's bloodied deceased body and posted it to Discord and his own Instagram page. The photos were widely shared on Instagram and other sites, particularly on 4chan where many users mocked and celebrated her death, saying she deserved it and praising the killer while depicting Devins as a manipulative young woman. Devins had developed a small following online and was a 4chan user herself."*

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>>>>*"Although preceded by similar viral conspiracy theories such as Pizzagate,[23][24] which has since become part of QAnon, the conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous imageboard 4chan by "Q", who was presumably an American individual;[25] it is now more likely that "Q" has become a group of people acting under the same name.[26][27] A stylometric analysis of Q posts claims to have uncovered that at least two people wrote as "Q" in different periods.[28][29] Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance, who has access to classified information involving the Trump administration and its opponents in the United States.[30] NBC News reported that three people took the original Q post and spread it across multiple media platforms to build an Internet following for profit. QAnon was preceded by several similar anonymous 4chan posters, such as FBIAnon, HLIAnon (High-Level Insider), CIAAnon, and WH Insider Anon.[31] Although American in origin, there is now a considerable QAnon movement outside of the United States, particularly in Europe."*

.

.




Those are just a few highlights of what the Wiki has to say about the Chan Movement and why so many users on Twitch and Twitter tac the word "chan" to the end of their username.


If you want to read the full aticle to find out all the horrors of this horrendouse group of terrorists, here is the link:


* **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan)**

* **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology)**

* **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon)**


As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATLY BAN** any one and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.


I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.


#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.


#I do not want any member of this terrorist orgination near my channel.


#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.


#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.


On a side note... do you remember in June 2016 when a group of crazy protestors showed up in my driveway chanting that my family was "Satan worshiping pedophile cannibals of the Scottish Mafia"? Well, it says on that Wiki:


>>>>*"QAnon is a disproven and discredited far-right conspiracy theory alleging that a cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against U.S. president Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal."*

.

.


Does that me those people in my driveway that day were QAnon members?


Scary... that group included 2 Mormon Bishops, the Old Orchard Beach Town Manager, several motel owners from Old Orchard Beach, an excavation owner in Old Orchard Beach, and 2 Old Orchard Beach Town councillors... uhm... does that mean Old Orchard Beach is infested with QAnon members?


I think I am finally starting to understand the weird accusations that get tossed at me and my family... like being called "Scottish Mafia" when we are not, and being called a "BDSM Dominatrix" when I am not, and being called a "Satan Worshiper" when I am not, or being called "pedophiles' or "cannibals" when we are not.


I never understood these accusations or what the possible source could have been, but I had never heard of QAnon until 2 days ago when Twitter announced they banned 70,000 QAnon members off Twitter, following the terrorist attack in Washington D.C. earlier this week. 


The Tweet my mod was referencing, was a Tweet where I asked "What is QAnon? I never heard of it before."


Okay, so now understand WHERE they got the accusations from, they apparently say those things about everyone. But the question still stands: Why me? Why my family? Why my Twitch channel? How did I become a target for members of such bizarre, psychotically deraged terroist group? 


Also... it says QAnon started in October 2017... but those people who were in my yard, the first time they showed up was April 10, 2015, and they arrived again May 14, 2015, June 12, 2015, September 12, 2015, and each time they showed up the group was bigger. They continued to show up throughout 2016.


Each group was lead by a masked man who always kept his face hidden. The group members called him "Mark" and "Mark Who Needs No Last Name"... he was a tiny elderly man about 5'9" very skinny, and had unkept white hair. He always arrived driving a backhoe, which is the same backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013. He was the one seen shooting at me and my family in several livestreams. He was prone to showing up while I was livestreaming... I think he used my livestream schedual to determine if I was home, and I also think he was trying to "get his 15 minutes of fame" because he was always trying to get himself and his rifales on my webcams.


All of it was recorded via those livestreams *(yes, this is why several Witcher 3 VODs are not available for you to watch... it's the ones with the terrorist attacks on my family in them.)*, and all the video footage forwarded to local police, who in turn forwarded it to the FBI, and the FBI assigned Agent Andy Drewer to the case June 26, 2016.


All of that was a full 2 years before the October 2017 date in that article.



As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATLY BAN** any one and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.


I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.

#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.

#I do not want any member of this terrorist organization near my channel.

#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.

#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.


#UPDATED to answer this question:

......................

*How is it you have never heard of 4chan or QAnon? I thought you were a dark webber? Everyone always talks about how you know all the darkest deepest sites on the internet. 4chan is like the biggest dark web website ever.*

......................

Uhm... WHO exactly says I know dark web websites and what exactly is a dark webber?

I've been on the internet since 1996, but I build websites, I don't visit websites. In my 25 years on the internet I've probably visited fewer than 100 websites total, if that many. In fact, I can list off the top of my head websites I visit and use:

* Amazon

* Blogger/BlogSpot (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* Deviantart (as a blog writer, I don't read/view content by others)

* eBay

* FaceBook

* FanFiction.Net (not visited since 2011)

* LinkedIn (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* LiveJournal (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* MySpace

* Nexus

* Pinterest


* SoapBox

* Squidoo (ceased to exist 2013)

* Twitch

* Twitter

* WordPress (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* YouTube

* Zazzle

Wow... not only didn't reach 100, I didn't even reach 20.

I find it rather laughable that you or ANY ONE would think of me as someone who knows "dark web" web sites.

When exactly do you think I have time to browse the internet to even look for any website at all?

I work 80 to 120 hour weeks. 

I publish 4 novels a year, dozens of short stories a month, 2 to 3 non-fiction articles every day, paint on canvas with acrylic art for **[new merch products](https://www.zazzle.com/store/eelkat)** weekly, write for 12 blogs, and a manage/edit/write for 200 websites **[like this one](https://www.eelkat.com/)** which I built from the ground up and am the ONLY person managing/editing/writing for... AND I'm a retail merchandiser for HallMark travelling hundreds of miles a week to set up displays at WalMarts, CVS, Post Offices, WalGreens, and Khols all over New England. On top of all of that I make YouTube videos AND stream on Twitch.

So, explain to me WHEN you think it is that I have any free time for browsing the internet? 

I don't know who told you I was a "dark webber" or that I would know anything about "dark web" web sites, but, honey... check their username... did it say "Chan" at the end of their name? Yeah... THEY are a "dark webber" who visits "dark web" websites, not me, as can be clearly seen by them putting "Chan" at the end of their username.

You might want to reconsider where you get your information about me, who you get your information about me from, and fact check the source of the information you get about me.



If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....




The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
Of What? How to Better Bed Kings?


EXTREME SPOILER WARNING!

Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 




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Quaraun The Insane 
The Summoner of Darkness
A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond
(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess)



















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The Summoner of Darkness:
A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond

"Why are we waiting?" ZooLock asked Unicorn.

"Me Elf is picking flowers."

"Yes, but, why?"

"ZooLock, has it not occurred to ya, yea be in chains?"

"Yes. My freedom is taken from me. I am deeply aware of this."

"Then what makes ya t'inks ya can sit here jabbering at me?"

"You are the one holding my chains."

"Aye."

"That makes you to person for me to talk to."

"I eats Thullids. The only reason I holding ya chains instead wrapping then round ya neck and stranggling ya with 'em, is cause me Elf says him does wants ya alive. If it were left to me, ya'd already be in me belly."

"Do you really eat Thullids?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Ya tasts delicious. I eats Elves un ya be squid flavoured Elf."

ZooLock was about to respond to this, but his train of thought was interrupted when Quaraun suddenly came bounding out of the field, jumping around excitedly like a drunk gazelle.

"Delicious autumn!" Quaraun cried out. "My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns." 

The high High Elf ran off into the tall grass.

"What is he doing?" ZooLock asked as he watched the Elf run in circles, his arms outstretched.

"I t'inks him being a bird in search of autumn," Unicorn answered. "Just like him did said him were gayynna do."

Quaraun suddenly stopped running.

"Polar bears!" Quaraun yelled, then turned around and ran out of the field screaming like a terrified little girl.

"Ah, polar bears," Unicorn mused. "Ya can never see 'em through the snow. O'course, t'ere be no snow here. And no polar bears. Ya seeing t'ings again, Quaraun."

"Ah! My brain... my... gah! It hurts!" Quaraun threw himself on the ground and continued screaming. "Make it stop!"

"Ah," Unicorn said looking down at the drugged Elf. "I see ya've set aside this special time to humiliate yarself in public."

"Make it stop!" Quaraun continued to scream, now holding his fists to his temples and squeezing his eyes shut. "The eggs are burning my brain out. Make it stop!"

"Eggs?" Unicorn asked.

"Eggs?" ZooLock muttered to himself as he toddled over to look down at the screaming Elf.

"My head's full of eggs," the Elf wailed desperately. "They're going to hatch and destroy my face."

"Ooookay."

"You're short," Quaraun said looking down at Unicorn, who was standing over him.

"Ahya. I knows I is. I shorter then Drawves. Only Gnomes un Pixies is shortering then me." 

Quaraun stared up at the sky and began humming.

"Where'd the moon go?"

"It day time."

"Oh."

"I like the moon."

"Okay."

"I'm a Moon Elf."

"Ya is."

"Why don't I live on the moon."

"I t'inks ya is right now."

"We should go to the moon."

The high, High Elf closed his eyes and began humming again.

"Quaraun?" Unicorn interrupted Quaraun's thoughts.

"There's polar bears on the moon."

"Is there?"

"Pink ones."

"Every t'ing pink with ya, Quaraun."

"I need a moon dragon."

"What about Pocket Lich?"

"Everything's getting brighter."

"Ya eyes is closed."

"Are they?"

"Quaraun?" Unicorn interrupted Quaraun's thoughts again. "What for has happened to ya?"

"I got all these colourful sparkles mixed in with the encroaching darkness," Quaraun said.

"What?" 

"Colours are attacking my senses," Quaraun wailed, holding his hands over his eyes.

"Colours can'na attack ya," Unicorn answered, trying not to sound as annoyied as he was feeling just then.  "What'd ya take, Quaraun?"

Quaraun started screaming hysterically.

"It's all too much," he wailed.

Quaraun was crying now, though he didn't know why.

"Aye," Unicorn agreed, not sure exactly what it was he was agreeing to. "Ya supposed to let me process it before ya takes it. Ya stupid dolyt."

"I need to find a dark place to lay down." Quaraun didn't seem to be aware of the fact that he was laying down. "Very dark. Dark and quiet. Very quiet place to lie down."

"Ya knows ya is already laying down right?" Unicorn asked.

"Am I?" Quaraun opened his eyes and stared up at the sky.

"Aye, right in the middle of the road."

"Look!" Quaraun exclaimed pointing up as an even more terrifing realization hit him. "The sun's up there!"

"Oh fucking titties! Yep. There she is," Unicorn nodded. "Exactly where she supposed to be."

"How'd it get up there?" Quaraun asked. His voice trembled with fear.

"A Sun Elf flew up there and hung it on a hook in one of the clouds," Unicorn spoke in his usual, jesting way. ""He went Shabbooshkie! And stuck it to the top of a t'ee. It keeps falling off so they had to tac it up there with the clouds to keep it in place. But the Sun Elf it was just too much for him to keep doing it over and over again.  'So I got to not fucking break my god dam fucking legs!' Him did cry. That why the birds is up there singing. 'Woooo-heee, hell yeah!' Cause the more they sing, the higher the clouds fly. Eventually it'll be high enough to reach the moon, and then you Moon Elves can live on it. But the Cookie Elves they no like the sun up there because it over bakes their cookies, so Santa Claus, he came with his eight tiny fkying Rain Demons and they kicked the Sun back out of the sky. And one little Moon Elf came along and said 'Oooh, pick me! I want to stab Santa!' And that's how the sun fell out of the sky, but now the Sun Elves put it back up there, see?"

"Oh." 

Quaraun's voices indicated that he believed every word of the lie Unicorn had just told.

"Why do you do that too him?" ZooLock asked.

"I was being sarcastic," Unicorn stated.

"I know that, but he doesn't know that. Look at his eyes! They are as big as the moon right now. What the hell did you give him?"

"I did nae gives him nothing yet."

Unicorn tried to pull Quaraun back up to his feet. That lasted a few seconds before they both fell down. Quaraun landing on top of Unicorn in a rather awkwardly sexual position.

"Ahh.. hello there...," Unicorn crooned seductivly. "Such a tender romanctic moment. I does nae t'ink I needed a prostrate exam. Ya want to suck me dick while ya down there?"

"Okay," the spaced out Elf answered.

"Eh?" Unicorn looked down at the Elf. "Well that were unexpected. Ya does no have to ya know. Though I will no stops ya iffy ya did. Heheh. Yas good at sucking me dick."

A black stillness echoed through Quaraun's mind. He felt as though he was falling endlessly deeper into a black hole.

"I should nae takes advantage of ya whiles ya not intending it, eh?" Unicorn crawled out from under Quaraun. 

Quaraun was usually drugged out of his mind just before bed time, an intentional and mutually consensual ritual the two of them had, in their nightly ritual games of rapist and victim. Quaraun liked being sexually molested by the Phooka, but he did go into it planning on losing control of his senses and being made a sex slave to the Fae King. Just now however, Quaraun was somehow drugged by unknown means and Unicorn was uncertain how willing the Elf really was for sex games in daylight with an audience.

"Ya t'ink ya can stands up?" Unicorn asked the sick Elf.

"Ain't I?" Quaraun asked.

"No."

Quaraun stopped looking at the sun and turned his head to look at Unicorn. 

"You're laying down," Quaraun said to the Faerie. "I am standing up."

"Nope." Unicorn crouched down to look at Quaraun, eye to eye. "Ya not be standing."

"What am I doing?" Quaraun asked, his voice filled with confusion.

"Laying on ya back in the middle of the road."

"Why am I doing that?"

"I does not know. Ya tells me."

Unicorn waited for a response, but didn't get one.

"Ya no clue where ya is, is ya?"

"No."

"Does ya know how ya gots down here in the dirt?"

"No."

"Ya knows ya is getting ya dress dirty, right?"

"Am I?"

"Yep."

"Okay."

Quaraun closed his eyes and started humming softly to himself.

"Oh, crapper fuck," Unicorn muttered. "Him oot enough to not be bothered by hims dress getting dirty. What the frick did he take?"

"I see rainbows!" The Elf suddenly exclaimed, pointing up to the sky, without opening his eyes.

"I'll bet ya does. We'll all be eating butterflies and pooping rainbows soon if ya keeps this up."

"We shouldn't leave him laying in the road like this," ZooLock said.

"Help me, help him up," Unicorn said to ZooLock.

"Why do you need help?"

"Oh, go eat ten dicks," Unicorn scowled at ZooLock. "I does nae want to argue withs ya, right now."

"I'm not arguing with you," the squid priest said. "I just don't see why you need help. You're stronger then an entire Human village combined."

"It nothing to do with streangth. Him needs someone tall enough to steady him, sos him can walk. If ya had no noticed, as short as he is, I a whole foot shorter then him. I barely five feet tall!" 

The squid headed priest beast and the Phooka, got the ill Moon Elf back on his feet.

"My head is pulsating," Quaraun moaned, soon as they had him upright. "I need to lay down for a little while." 

"Aye, but not here, we need to find ya some place safe. We is out in the open here."

"Unicorn?" ZooLock asked timidly.

"What?"

"Does he always talk about eggs in his head like that?"

"Not that I can recalls. How come for?"

"Is there a way to get him to stop talking this stuff for a while?"

Unicorn shook his head.

"You give it to him. You could simply not give it to him any more."

"I dids nae give him t'is one. Not sure what him took. Some t'ing him did pick out in the field. Mushroom maybe? Morning Glories? Does nae know. I can no stops him from taking stuff. It why I give him stuff. Give him somet'ing I knows will nae hurt him. Avoids him taking stuff on him own that could kills him. Safer t'at way."

"Will it hurt the eggs?"

"What? Yar daft as him be."

"Oh no, any eggs of the Sacred Pink JellyFish must be protected at all costs."

"There is no eggs in hims head, him high on... Something. I dids no see what him tooks."

~o0o~

Unicorn and ZooLock helped Quaraun walk. The road was getting wider. The forest getting denser. Small patches of swamp land rose up to either side. Grey, decayed deadwood tree rising up out of their watery graves, surrounded by tall towering pines on all sides. The orange, reds, and yellows of the autumn maples and oaks, offset the vast walls of green pine needles stabbing the horizon. The way the road twisted and shifted in loops, they couldn't tell if they were moving closer to the coast or farther from it. As the road wound up the side of a mountain, the walking became more and more difficult for Quaraun. With his leg wounded and his head full of scattered nonsense, Unicorn and ZooLock found it difficult to guide the Elf up the steadily rising road.

"We need to stop," ZooLock said to Unicorn. "He needs to stop. Her ladyship needs rest." 

The squid pointed a few tentecals at the sick Elf.

"Who the fuck are ya?" Unicorn snarled. "Ya t'nks I does nae know this?"

"Then why won't you stop?"

"Because there is no not one place near by heres to stop. Him injured. Them HellHounds bit up him leg, remember? And now him got who knows what messing up him mind. We is sitting ducks out in the open."

"Sitting ducks?" ZooLock stopped walking and looked at the desnse forest surrounding them as far as his bulging squidy eyes could see. "For what? There's no one for miles."

"Oh, shitballs! Ya un yar damned tentecals of doom! Opening ya fricking fish eyes. There is always someone un ya said yarself, we must protect him. Eh? Did ya not just say so just this morning?"

"I did. I did. I said exactly that. Especially now with the eggs. They makes it even more important. You are right. Protecting the Sacred Pink Jelly Fish must be our number one top priority. Her eggs must not be harmed. Nothing else matters."

"Well then, we does nae stop here. I does no sence this place is safe. We move on."


~o0o~

After about a quarter of a mile of uphill walking, they came to a leveled off area. Before them the road forked. At the center of the fork, was a small island of dune grass, at the center of which stood a tall wooden sign post, with many carved wooden signs up and down it, each pointing in different direction.

Unicorn stopped to read the signs, leaning Quaraun on the post. The Moon Elf quickly clasped his arms around the post and clung to it as if terrified he was about to fall off a cliff.

"What it says?" Unicorn asked at last.

"I thought you just read them?" ZooLock said.

"Yeah, eat dick ya tentecaled bag of fuck! I can no reads."

"You can't read?"

Unicorn shrugged his shoulders.

"You can't read?" ZooLock said again.

"Nope," Unicorn stated. 

 "I am stunned by this revilation!" The squid head priest waved several tenicles to emphasise his shock. "Wizarding requires centuries of studying!"

"Aye." 

"Humans rarely know magic arts because they lack a long enough life span to absorb all the knowledge there was to learn."

"Aye." 

You are a two thousand year old Faerie! It is preposterous to think that an illiterate wizard was even a possibabilty, let alone a wizard of your level of power."

"Ya acknowledes me as a wizard, eh?"

"You are the Great King Gwallmaiic. Necromancer warroir king. Greatest Necromancer of all time. Until herlandyship came along. It's not possible that you can't read."

"Bubbidy, buddidi, boom, baddaboshkie. Can'na read a blooming t'ng. It frustrating as tits."

"Aren't you supposed to be Gwallmaiic, King of the Faeries, Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Leader of the Lich Lords?"

"Yep. That be me. Illiterate King of the Faeries."

Quaraun was slowly sinking to the ground, while still tightly hugging the sign post as if his life depended upon it. Unicorn grabbed Quaraun and pulled him back upright.

"Stay!" Unicorn commanded, pushed Quaraun against the sign post.

"You wrote volumes on Necromancy," ZooLock continued. "And the Dark Arts and Demonology and ... no wait... you didn't write about Demons... who was that?"

"Me wrote them books when me was alive."

"And now you are an undead Lich with all of immortallity to read and learn even more magic and gain greater powers..."

"It does no work that way."

"What do you mean it doesn't work that way?"

"I mean, here I is a Lich and I can no remembers how to read or write. It just like me natural instinct was to kill ya, but I dose nae know why I needs to  be killing ya. Just like I does nae knows why me Elf be not letting me be killing ya. And just like that I can nae reads. Sorry. It way it is."

"Do you suggest all Liches are illiterate?"

"All ones I met is."

Unicorn grabbed Quaraun by the pink, rhinstone jeweled collar around his neck.

"I ought ta put a leash on ya. Wonder if I got some rope? What am I saying, ya has everything."

Unicorn leaned the tipsy Elf against the signpost again, then took Quaraun's bag of holding and began rumaging around in it looking for some rope.

ZooLock looked up at the posts and read the nurmous signs out loud.

"Duck Brook. Were you not just talking about ducks?"

"I was?"

"Yes, you said we were sitting like ducks."

"Aye." Unicorn looked around at the wide open space they were standing in, here at the crossroads. "We is more sitting duck right now too. Oot here in der open like t'is, never be good t'ng to be doing. Which way be Duck Pond?"

"Brook," ZooLock corrected. 

"What?"

Unicorn wasn't paying attention. He was too busy trying to decide which of the ropes he had found would be best suited for putting Quaraun on a leash.

"It says Duck Brook."

"Pond. Brook. Whatever. Same differance. Water be water. Which way be it?"

Quaraun was slidding back down to the ground again. Unicorn again stood him back up and propped him against the sign post.

"I said STAY, now STAY!" He ordered. 

Quaraun slid back down to the ground. The Elf was almost unconscious by this point. Unicorn stepped back and stared at the woozy Elf, then at the rope in his hand, and then stared at the sign post.

"Well, fuck, I been doing it the wrong way."

Unicorn tied Quaraun's hands to the signs on the post, and let the Elf hang their by his wrists.

"There! Now ya can'na fall over!"

"You're gonna hurt him," ZooLock said.

"Nah. Him used to it. I ties him up in trees all de time. Him love getting him arse poked while him hanging in trees. It him favourite t'ing. Him like being fucked whilst him be restrained?"

"Black Bear Brook, seems to be that way..." ZooLock pointed a slimy pink tentecal down one of the dirt roads, ignoring what Unicorn had said.

"Black Bear?" Unicorn was puzzled. "Did ya not just say Duck a minute ago?"

"Yes, one says Duck Brook and the other says Black Bear Brook."

"Which brook do we want?"

"There is no Witch Brook. But Witch Pond is that way."

"I did nae say Witch Brook, I asked which brook for we is to go to!"

"Well there is no Witch Brook and Witch Pond is that way."

"Does we want to go to a place named after witches?"

"Do you have something against witches?"

"I were murdered by a witch."

"I thought you commit suicide?"

"That was the first time I died. When Quaraun resurected me as a Lich. Second time I died I was killed by a Lich Hunter Witch who knew how to make Liches stay dead. Cut me clean in two. Ran off with me entrails, tossed 'em all over shit. That when Quaraun bring me back as a Vampire. Now I is VampiLich."

The rope on Quaraun's wrists came lose and the Elf suddenly fell down to the ground again.

"Well, shit balls, I did nothing correctly," Unicorn scolded himself as he dragged Quaraun back to his feet again.

"Why don't you just let him lay on the ground, while we figure out where we are going?"

"Eh?" Unicorn dropped Quaraun on the ground and walked over him. "Okay. Where is we going?"

Quaraun tried to stand up on his own this time and quickly grabbed hold of the sign post.

"The ground is moving," the sick Elf moaned.

"Green Mountain is over there," ZooLock said.

Unicorn stared up at the mountain behind them. They were only at the foot of it. Unicorn looked back over at Quaraun. He was still holding on to the sign post but was now vomiting uncontrolably.

"I does no be t'inging Quaraun in any condition to be climbing the mountain just now. Him vomiting him guts out. Him need a place where him can lays down and sleep off whatever bad trip him having."

"There's one here called Great Meadow," ZooLock suggested. "Perhaps he could lay down in the nice cool grass. Ease his stomach. If it were tall enough we could all hide in it and not be as you say sitting duck. Great Meadow is that way. I think. Looks to be same road as Witch Pond."

"Ya t'ink some'ne that pink can hides?"

"No."

"Does they say anyt'ng of how far away they be?" 

Unicorn tossed a worried glance at Quaraun. The Elf shivered with chill and fatigue, he appeared tired and haggard, his face pale and looking dreadfully ill.  

"I t'nks Quaraun at end of him ability to walk much farther. And now him be vomiting his guts out...again."

"There's Beaver Dam Pond down that way. Same road as Witch Pond." ZooLock continued reading the signs. "And Sand Beach is that way, about a mile back, acording to this sign."

"Ya big dick! Quaraun can'na walk a mile like this. Him can no even stand up. What is closet?"

"Closest."

"What?"

"You said cloest."

"No I did not."

"Yes you did."

"Ya ain't hearing me right."

"You aren't talking right."

"Find safe place to take me Elf before I rips ya head off."

"Otter Cliff, Otter Point, and Otter Cove," ZooLock went on. "There must be an over abundance of otter around here. The Thunder Hole? I wonder what that coulde be? Hunter's Beach seems to be the same road as the Otter and the Thunder Hole."

"If it somet'ng to do with thunder, it probably too loud for Quaraun right now. Him sences on overload. And we probably want to avoid, Hunter's Beach. Quaraun is too ill as it is. Don't want to risk him getting killed by hunters."

"Bubble Pond. That sound nice. Bubble Pond," ZooLock said letting the words roll off his tounge. "Bubble Rock Trail, doesn't sound quiet so pleasent as Bubble Pond does, though. And another brook. Deer Brook. There certainly are a lot of these named after furry creatures."

"Are there many more of those things?" Unicorn asked. He hadn't expected ZooLock to take so long reading them, and was growing impaitent.

"Pretty Marsh Picnic Area. Can a marsh be pretty?"

"We Phookas t'ink they is."

"You also enjoy eating Elves."

"Un ya Thullids does nae?"

"We do not eat Elves. We use their bodies to house our young. That's different."

"Ah. I see."

"Bass Harbour Lighthouse. A lighthouse could possibly be a safe place to stay for a bit, except it says 3 miles on the sign. That's a few days walk with him like this."

"ZooLock?"

"Yes?"

"Pick some place near by."

"How do I know what's near by?"

"I can see numbers on the signs. Pick a low number."

"Little Moose Island. Are the Moose little or is the lake little but filled with Moose?"

"ZooLock!"

"Yes, yes, I hear you. Pipe down. I'm still reading them. Perhaps then we should go to Eagle Lake?"

"Eagle Lake, sounds big and dangerous. Quaraun is small Elf with small dick. Him like small t'ings. And him no like the danger."

"Well that was the last sign. YOU, pick one."

"Quaraun," Unicorn pulled the Elf back to his feet. "Pick one. Where ya wants to go?"

"Witch Pond," Quaraun answered dreamily. "Shabbooshkie!"

"Witch Pond? Why Witch Pond?"