Miss Citten The Eel~Kat and her interdimensional space eels... after not being used in any story in over thirty years, EelKat is returning for her 50th anniversary in 2028, as a character in the visual novel: Quaraun Goes To the Fair, currently in production and expected to release summer 2026.

Update: July 7, 2026: The First of the Visual Novels Is Now Available on Itch.io!

I am an author.

I write Shifter Romantsy also known as Dark Fantasy with Romance Invloving ShapeShifters.

This is my website.

Yaoi means my main characters are gay lovers.

If that bothers you, you're on the wrong website. Sorry.

Since I have gotten a lot of questions asking "Is there a sample story I can read to see what the series is like before buying the paperbacks?"

Yes, yes there is. In fact, almost all of the short stories are available free to read right here on Space Dock 13 (eelkat.com) 

If you want to read only one, and want the one that best represents the entire series as a whole, one that shows you the 3 main characters' personalities best, shows how transgender characters are presented, shows how MPreg is presented, shows the children and family life dynamics, shows you how sweet romance and fluff are handled, shows how the Fae King deals with problems in his court, shows how the family interacts with their servants and handmaids, shows the setting including the zombies, and shows the overall tone and genre of the series…Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies is the single best, one stop, story that gives you a taste of pretty much everything all in a single story… this here is the story you want to read, if you are not sure whether or not you want to read the rest of the series and just want one story that'll give you enough info about the series to help you decide if it's the sort of thing you will like or not... it's free to read, 4,987 words, and it'll take you 30 minutes to an hour to read depending on your personal reading speed:

• Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies

Official Pink Necromancer Merch by Official Pink Necromancer Merch	Quaraun and BoomFuzzy sitting in Pepper Valley 12"x12" Acrylic Print $99.95 by Official Pink Necromancer Merch

But is it Omega Verse?

Readers have suggested my Quaraun series is Omegaverse... let's find out if it is or not

The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane: Main character: Quaraun the Insane, himself...formerly known as Rapunzel... once upon a time, he was born an Elf princess, the youngest female of the family, with a deranged King's brother for a father, who murdered his mother and then married one of his own daughters, who became the evil Elf Queen... but she was infertile, and so she locked, the fertile Rapunzel in a tower and daily sent male Elves to rape her. As the years went by Rapunzel gave birth to multiple sets of twins, while growing out her hair, planning her escape...

..meanwhile the evil infertile Elf Queen, stole Rapunzel's babies, and claimed they were her own, and she raised them to be vile, evil, and hateful, teaching them to hate Rapunzle, and teaching them to bully Rapunzel, teaching them to torture Rapunzel, and teaching them to sing horrible evil songs calling Rapunzel's lover a vile evil person.

...and upon her first escape, Rapunzel meet a Faerie King, and fell in love with him, but the evil Elf Queen found out and locked Rapunzel back in the black tower devoid of light and blinded the Faerie King.... but he soon died from his injuries becoming septic. Enraged Rapunzel cut out the hearts of the four children she had given birth too, the four children stolen from her and paraded around the kingdom as the children of the Elf queen, and then Rapunzel cut out the heart of the Elf Queen, and poisoned food of the Elf kingdom, killing off every last Moon Elf... Rapunzel, then changed her name to Quaraun, cast aside female pronouns, and resurrected his beloved blind Faerie King as a Lich. Thus began The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun the Insane.

...but is it Omega verse?

Let's find out.

Main character Quaraun the Insane, also known as The Pink Necromancer, with his Black Tower Lighthouse, on Noodle Beach... Quaraun is literally Rapunzel. The series is a retelling of the Rapunzel fairy tale, told from the point of view of Rapunzel, after she, an enslaved Elf Princess, forced to breed rape babies for the infertile, evil Elf Queen, escaped the tower with her blind Faerie prince husband, then became a necromancer after the death of her blind Faerie prince, to resurrect him as a Lich King. Rapunzel changed her name to Quaraun, became transgender, now living as a man instead of a woman, and became a serial killer to kill all rapists and child abusers on the planet, starting with the evil Elf Queen and the stolen children Rapunzel had given birth to that the Queen pretended were hers; eventually resurrecting 21 billion undead zombies, then becoming a Zombie himself, now leading a zombie horde across the planet Earth in the year 399,999 killing all Humans.

The Pink Necromancer: The Endlessly Pregnant Alpha-Omega

BoomFuzzy The Double Dicked Unicorn: The Sigma-Alpha

GhoulSpawn: The Gamma-Alpha

In case you didn't know, Quaraun is a zombie, as is BoomFuzzy, and Ghoulspawn is too, he just hasn't come to terms with it yet, my series is a zombie apocalypse told from the point of views of the zombies... these are LITERAL UNDEAD MONSTERS, a hoard of intelligent thinking zombies that are able to pass themselves off as the living, so they can "Something Wicked This way Comes" style set up a seemingly innocent carnival in a village of the living, and them eat all the people that were stupid enough to enter the market... it's a travelling merchant and food truck chef, leading a massive horde of twenty-one billion zombies across the planet, systematically hunting down the living, because they eat brains, and all these guys have on their minds is where's the next group of brains we can harvest... literal Goblin Market logic here, NO ONE IS SELLING to customers, because the merchants are zombies eating the customers. My characters are blood thirsty zombies with one thing on their minds: Brains!

Brains, brains, brains, brains, BRAINS!

Harvesting brains.

Eating brains.

Cooking brains.

Picking brains.

Creating new recipes for brains stew.

And leaving nothing to waste, BoomFuzzy grinds Human bones into flour, literal bone meal flour, for making his gingerbread, his magical gingerbread that he uses to lure Humans into The UnSeelie Court, so the UnDead Evil faeries can feast on Humans brains.

I write VILLAIN POINT OF VIEW, we are seeing the zombie apocalypse told from the point of view of the zombies. I'm not writing stupid, quirky wimps antiheroes to keep a sensitive snowflake young adult from having to actually feel emotions. I hate the stupid ass pandering to never hurting a readers feelings bullshit that wimpy current era writers do. I've been writing this series since the 1970s and I ain't gonna dumb it down because, some child who shouldn't bee reading it to begin with might get upset that my characters are too evil.

These are apex predators.

The same way a lion does not feel guilty about eating a gazelle, Quaraun does not feel guilty about harvesting brains. BoomFuzzy isn't secretly hoping humans will understand him. GhoulSpawn isn't waiting for a redemption arc. They're predators. Humans are livestock. The stories are simply told from the livestock farmer's point of view instead of the cow's.

Main character Quaraun the Insane, also known as The Pink Necromancer, with his Black Tower Lighthouse, on Noodle Beach... Quaraun is literally Rapunzel. The series is a retelling of the Rapunzel fairy tale, told from the point of view of Rapunzel, after she, an enslaved Elf Princess, forced to breed rape babies for the infertile, evil Elf Queen, escaped the tower with her blind Faerie prince husband, then became a necromancer after the death of her blind Faerie prince, to resurrect him as a Lich King. Rapunzel changed her name to Quaraun, became transgender, now living as a man instead of a woman, and became a serial killer to kill all rapists and child abusers on the planet, starting with the evil Elf Queen and the stolen children Rapunzel had given birth to that the Queen pretended were hers; eventually resurrecting 21 billion undead zombies, then becoming a Zombie himself, now leading a zombie horde across the planet Earth in the year 399,999 killing all Humans.

Answering the question:
When someone asks you what you write, what do you tell them? How many people know you write or read questionable and problematic fiction?

This question came from a fellow writer and had a much longer explanation of how they were embarrassed to tell people they wrote Omegaverse and they wanted to know what "work around" I had for NOT telling strangers in public I write Omegaverse, when someone finds out I'm a writer and asks what I write.

Uhm... I don't have a "workaround" because I don't hide what I write.

everyone who knows me, knows; I don't make a secret of it.

I also tend to not trust people who feel the need to keep secrets or hide things from others because my mind defaults to thinking "well, if they hide something as insignificant as a, what are the actually significant big things they must be hiding also?" which then just triggers me to not trust them. I'm this way about everything, literally I have zero secrets in my life at all, everything is out in the open and I have serious trust issues with people who do not do the same...

...but then also, I'm also very much to the mind of: if someone is going to judge me based on what I read or write, they can go fuck themselves; I don't need prick head judgey mcjudgyface jackass bastards in my life, if they can't accept who I am, if they want to try to make me chance who I am, there's the door and they can leave, because I don't need their bullshit in my life

soooo... that's the mindset I am coming into reading and writing with as well.

Which means, I don't hide what I read, I don't hide what I write, and if anyone in my life wants to bitch about it, I'm never going to have contact with them again. you take me as I am or you fuck off, that's just the way I am with every aspect of my life and reading/writing is no exception

I write Yaoi, Unicorn Porn, Dragon Shifters, Merman Porn, Gay Romance, Polyamory thruples, Reverse Harem Romances... I write a king, who yearly throws his queen into the town square and tells everyone to gang bang her. BoomFuzzy ain't nice. Honey, I've not only read all 3,821 Fabio bodice rippers by Zebra Historicals, I own all of them, here they are: (seen here waiting to go on the bookshelf, the 8 foot tall, 21' long, bookshelf that was custom built for them"... and as you can see many of them were badly damaged by the backhoe that drove over my house... and I had to rebuy the ones totally destroyed by the raving lunatic who drove a backhoe over me house... I was unfortunately unable to salvage the bulk of my 10k comic book Uncle Scrooge comics collection, and only around 2k of the Scrooge comic books survived the backhoe attack.

3,821 Fabio books all piled up and waiting to be sorted onto a bookshelf (photo from 2013 shortly after the backhoe attack, when we were trying to find anything salvageable, and a few weeks before the attackers returned, broke my spine with a golf club and murdered my infant.)(location in photo here was at my dad's apartment 4 towns away, as I no longer have a house because a lunatic drove a backhoe over it... what few of my belongings and pets to survive this attack went to my dad's apartment afterwards..). and as you can see many of them were badly damaged by the backhoe that drove over my house... and I had to rebuy the ones totally destroyed by the raving lunatic who drove a backhoe over me house... I was unfortunately unable to salvage the bulk of my 10k comic book Uncle Scrooge comics collection, and only around 2k of the Scrooge comic books survived the backhoe attack.

My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since.

Raphael, was one of only a handful of pets who survived the backhoe attack - over a dozen of my birds and cats, and 72 pet fish were all crushed to death by the backhoe when it drove over my house... - yes the backhoe drove over and killed many pets, including my 3 parrots, everything in one of my fish tanks, 4 cats, and some hamsters, that were all at home at the time the backhoe drove over the house... my 22 year old Raphaël catfish survived this attack... I had him since 2007, and he survived his tank being driven over by a backhoe, by hiding in the mud.).

, and have them on a display case that front faces all of the cover art, it's that big bookcase behind the giant pool size fish tank.

I've read all of them no less then 3 times each, and 90% of what I write is straight up me rewriting the Fabio books with BoomFuzzy as the Fabio stand in and Quaraun as the heroine stand in... you do what the Fabio books are, right, why they are considered the cringiest cringe to ever cringe the entire Romance genre... they ain't dub-con, they not even close... all 3k+ of them are the exact plot: "14 year girl, kidnapped by 45 to 65 year old pirate/highwayman/Comanche chief/cave man/viking/knight/king/prince/billionaire/duke/rake/highlander/etc and force into marriage by rape so she can breed as many babies to him as possible before she reached the astoundily ancient useless old age of 18 years old... every single volume is that exact same story, and I make no secret of the fact that I rabidly collect and read the Fabio books or that BoomFuzzy is straight up my fanfiction version of those three thousand Fabio characters, and Quaraun is straight up my fanfiction version of those the Fabio book breeder wives.

BoomFuzzy's an Alpha.

Quaraun is a fertile Omega.

I write Alpha got into a rut crazed need to breed an Omega in heat breeding fiction about shape shifter, heavily inspired by the Fabio books, but I do so without writing sex scenes, and set them in the period of the Omega's late pregnancy just before labour, and at a time, when they already have a lot of kids, and it's Comedy with a lot of crude black gallows humour and grim satire, and the Omega is a jealous serial killing Yandere who goes psycho stabby stabby, whoops their head fell off, on anyone who dares look half sideways at the Alpha..

I write Omegaverse, and usually that's just what I say: "I write Omegaverse." Buuut, most people offline have never heard of Omegaverse, so it's rare that anyone says anything like "Yeah? I read Omegaverse." Instead most people say "What's that, never heard of it." And depending on who the person is, my standard go to answers are:

"It's a type(subgenre) of Fantasy."

"It's a type(subgenre) of Gay Romance."

Most people are in a hurry to continue on to wherever they were going or whatever they were doing, so usually the conversation stops there with them saying something like:

"Oh, cool. I'm gonna write a book someday, maybe when I retire, well I gotta go now."

Once in a very rare while, someone will ask for more info and I'll say really fast all in one breath: "The main character is transgender, and he's 8 months pregnant but he's hiding it because he doesn't want people to know he's transgender. It's kind of like Gay Romance but they are like half animal and half people so it's also sort of like old Greek mythology."

And at some point they'll go: "Wait, what... he? He's pregnant? He?"

To which I'll say: "Yeah, it's Omegaverse. I write MPreg which is short for pregnant males. It's people who are half animal, not quite Furry, Furry adjacent, they have rabbit ears and cloven hooves and fluffy tails and fangs and claws and horns and tentacles, and the plot revolves around nesting and heat and rutting cycles, plus I write the knotting fetish, not the bdsm rope kind but the wolf sex kind, except they aren't wolves and my main character is an Omega with a mix of rabbit and jellyfish dna He has twelve foot long hair made out of jellyfish tentacles and spends 90% of his life pregnant and giving birth to large litters rabbit-ears kits...

Rapunzel, and her magic mirror that shows her the world outside the tower... soon to become, The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun the Insane

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun the Insane

Rapunzel, and her magic mirror that shows her the world outside the tower... soon to become, The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun the Insane

...and he's got a vagina with fangs in it so sex is risky with him because his alpha could lose their penis, but his husband is a double dicked Sigma-Alpha Unicorn with a pair of armoured barbed penises so it's okay because the vagina fangs can't bite through his scale armoured twin dicks that extrude thorned barbs...,

...but him having two barbed penises means he can't have sex with most people, because the barbs rip his partner's insides out during orgasm, so he can only safely have sex with someone who has a fanged vagina... plus it's a breeding fetish so everyone is tracking everyone's heat cycles and rutting cycles so they can make sure to have orgies that will end up in everyone who can become pregnant getting pregnant...

...plus the Sigma-Alpha of the pack is a Unicorn and you don't say no to him, because he'll skewer you on his horn, grind you into burger patties then serve you with ketchup out of his food truck....

King Gwallmaiic's Fae Chef form King Gwallmaiic as BoomFuzzy the Lich Unicorn

Did I mention these guys are zombies and their one goal in life is to find as ,many brains to eat as possible?

Quaraun is a zombie, as is BoomFuzzy, and Ghoulspawn is too, he just hasn't come to terms with it yet, my series is a zombie apocalypse told from the point of views of the zombies... these are LITERAL UNDEAD MONSTERS, a hoard of intelligent thinking zombies that are able to pass themselves off as the living, so they can "Something Wicked This way Comes" style set up a seemingly innocent carnival in a village of the living, and them eat all the people that were stupid enough to enter the market... it's a travelling merchant and food truck chef, leading a massive horde of twenty-one billion zombies across the planet, systematically hunting down the living, because they eat brains, and all these guys have on their minds is where's the next group of brains we can harvest... literal Goblin Market logic here, NO ONE IS SELLING to customers, because the merchants are zombies eating the customers.

Which is why I always find it weird when local church loonies accuse my books of being Erotica. Are the local bishops saying that eating brains is a sexual activity? I ,mean, that IS what you are saying, if you call my series Erotica. If you think my books are Erotica, you will want to consider the possibility that you might be a cannibal, because, honey, my characters are blood thirsty zombies hunting brains for eating.

Harvesting brains.

Eating brains.

Cooking brains.

Pickleing brains.

Creating new recipes for brains stew.

And leaving nothing to waste, BoomFuzzy grinds Human bones into flour, literal bone meal flour, for making his gingerbread, his magical gingerbread that he uses to lure Humans into The UnSeelie Court, so the UnDead Evil faeries can feast on Humans brains.

I have mentioned that most book stores sell my books under the genre of "Gorn" right? Gore Porn.

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun the Insane, with his husband King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Lich Lord of Fire Mountain, walking on Noodle Beach...heights wrong, Quaraun is much taller then BoomFuzzy. BoomFuzzy is only 5'1" tall, but lore states BoomFuzzy can change his height at will, and that 5'1" is simply the height he "usually" is because it makes him seem less threatening and easier to lure victims to him.

...oh, and speaking of cannibal chefs... I write the Butterflyverse subgenre of the Omegaverse, so my main characters have moth wings, but also, because of the fanged vaginas and barbed penises there is a high rate of sex partners not living through the act of sex, so they just eat the dead partners after sex, that's why it's called Butterflyverse because like black widows, butterflies eat their partners after sex, and..., yeah Butterflyverse is what happens when you mix Vorn Genre with Omegaverse Genre. Meaning, yeah, you need to both live through the act of sex and get pregnant, otherwise the Alphas are gonna cook you and eat you....

...oh, and then he's got a lover who is a Gamma-Alpha and is half Sheep, did you know sheep have a retractable corkscrew penis? And then sometimes he's got this other lover who is part snake, do you know what a snake's penis looks like? The Omegaverse is basically hot men from the waist up and freaky penised animals from the waste down so we writers have an excuse to write weird crazy fucked up monster sex about hot shirtless men with weird freaky penises. Omegaverse is the genre that's like the Yaoi Genre mixed with Furry Genre, but everyone lives by order of he who is the most alpha in the pecking order gets the best Omegas, and also males get pregnant and give birth to huge litters of kits instead of a baby..."

...and usually by this point they are jaw dropped, backing away, and looking at me like I'm nut bonkers out of my mind.

LOL!

Also I'm elderly, so people REALLY don't expect it at all. They think "Oh sweet little old granny probably writes nice little cozy murder mysteries" and they go away thinking "OMG! Crazy old lady who writes insane shit!"

I think my not being ashamed to say exactly what it is that I write, takes a lot of people by surprise, given the overdramatic shocked reactions people usually have.

Yeah, I don't give a shit if people think what I write is crazy. I grew up in the 1970s.

Gen-X Baby!

except, until five minutes ago, I didn't know the Butterflyverse existed. Yet I've been writing it since 1978? and it was only invented three years ago?

what?

what these omegaverse readers are calling "butterflyverse" is what everyone else on the planet has called Godzilla/Mothra fanfiction. Heck, Quaraun even refers to himself as "Mother Mothra" a direct reference to Mother Mothra in the Mothra movie, where the cultists referred to Mothra, not as Mothra, but instead as Mother Mothra... that movie was made in the 1950s a full five decades before the tem "omegaverse" was even invented.

So when readers say "Hey you write omegaverse!" and I'm left asking "what the fuck is omegaverse?" you kind of realize, nope, I don't write omegaverse, because I don't even know what the fuck omegaverse is, I never even heard of it six months ago, and here I am two years from my 50th anniversary as a published author, but then I look up omegaverse to find out what the fuck it even is, and ... uhm... the word didn't even exist ten years, ago, soooo... uhm... are you sure I'm REALLY writing omegaverse?

Because it sounds more to me like children who don't know what genre meanings are, are just seeing the words "Alpha" and "Omega" in my work and blindly screaming "thatt's omegaverse" without even reading my work at all.

okaaay... we've talked about this before... my series was first published in 1978, and Alpha and Omega are terms that reference the Alpha Omega Cult of Beneanth Planet of the Apes, and uses the Zebra Historicals Fabio cover bodice rippers use of Alpha and Omega, and the Harlequin Nocture use of Alpha and Omega, all of which existed decades before either ao3 or the omegaverse

These kids, I do mean kids, because the people calling my work Omegaverse, one of them, barely 8 years old, came running up my driveway, little blond girl, and about 5 of her friends, third graders, literaly just jumped off the school bus, and instead of going to their house down the road, came galloping up my driveway screaming "omegaverse! omg you write omegaverse!"

uhm... okay...

Germany, Australia, and Japan, all require my books to have a sticker on the cover that reads "MA21+ mature adult content, must be at least 21 and so ID a the register to buy this book"

And yet in America, 8 year old have read my books?

Where are these children's parents?

But good god, I looked up what omegaverse was... literally, it is Erotica, of the smuttiest, smutty, mcsmut smut, on levels that even pornhub users would cringe at... and yet, omegaverse is a thing 8 year olds talk about when getting off the Biddeford school bus. Oh my, now that says something about Biddeford doesn't it?

Have I ever mentioned I hate sex?

I hate smut.

I hate Erotica.

And I especially hate people who lump my books into the vile smutty, sex filled category of Erotica, so I really have questions as to why my books are getting called omegaverse.

But also, I hate people who contact me asking me to add sex scenes to my books.

the thing people are not considering, when they call my work Erotica is how incredibly offensive that is, they forget there could be an actual REASON for writing no smutt... one related to real world trauma. I was SAed many times as a child, by adults (2 uncles and the sunday school president of our church) who should have been men I could trust. I had my first miscarriage at age 12, and miscarriage was what THEY called it, after they shoved me in a shower stall and kicked me in the stomach until they were sure the baby was dead, then locked the bathroom door and left me there for 3 days to "make sure I didn't get blood all over the house, so annoying to have to clean it off the rugs".

I had SEVEN of these miscarriages by the time I was 18 years old.

Needless to say as an adult I have an EXTREME HATRED for sex, smut, and erotica. I neither read nor write it and I block any reader demanding it.

My parents, used 12 year old me as a fucking breeder to high priests at the Cape Elizabeth church, because my mother was infertile and THAT is WHY I wrote Quaraun being kept as a breeder, locked up by an insane infertile bitch who didn't give a shit about him and just kept hiring men to rape, rape, rape, rape, rape....I wrote Quaraun wanting to not be female anymore, because that's all that ever went through my head... I fucking hated being female, I hated that my mother saw me as nothing but a breeder to pop out babies for her obsession with having a son... so I wrote Rapunzel, being used the same way and hating it and finally escaping and living as a man after escaping to try to forget the shirt his crazed infertile overlord did to him...

That's the whole reason, they -my parents- took me out of Old Orchard Beach Loranger School when I was 8. Because I started my period when I was 8. And all I ever was to my parents, was a fucking breeder, that's why they kept me locked in funking woodshed they called a room for 27 years, from the time I was 8 years old until I escaped it at age 31. I was pregnant 7 times before I was 16 years old, and they took my babies away every single time... and THAT is why that's how the Quaraun series starts... because I was sick of my mother selling my to high priests of her church, just because she was infertile and obsessed with needing to have a so and she thought having priests rape me endlessly was the way to get a baby... well, guess what... no matter how many rape babies she stole from me, not a one of them are hers and she knows it.

I committed the crime of being born female, and my mother told me that every damned day: "you filthy little competition bitch, I wanted a boy! you committed the sin of being born female! you fucking good for nothing four eyed retard! I didn't commit any sin, so why the fuck did god fucking punish me with a fucking female! you are unloved and unwanted you filthy little competition bitch!"

I grew up, endlessly wish I was male, and that's why I wrote Quaraun as living as a male and using he/him/his male pronouns after he discarded his past as Rapunzel.

But then, I didn't ao3 was either, so I looked that up oo... uhm... it's a site, where the porn is so bad, you have to create an account to even access 90% of the content on ao3. So I created an account... uhm... yep... it's like uhm...the writer's version of porn hub, and it's predominantly "rape porn" largely written by children under the age of 16. OMG! what the fuck?

Buut ao3 is where Omegaverse lives, and, I don't know... seeing the locked, registered user only accessed "smut" on ao3, I'm left wondering, how did anyone ever look at what I write and compare it to that at all?

Though I can see, that clearly, no writes omegaverse as has any actual fucking clue what the word Alpa means, nor what the word Omega mean, and clearly they are just calling my work omegaverse because they saw that BoomFuzzy is fered to as The Alpha while Quaraun is refered to as The Omega.

The Alpha and The Omega... it means "God the Creator and God the Destroyer, God of the Beginning, God of the End"

Readers are told throughout my series that BoomFuzzy is ancient, tens of thousand years old, so old that he can't remember how old he is, and he could be millions of years old... he's an old god, who got so old, that he can only remember that last few hundred thousand years. He is the Alpha because he is the beginning, the ancient Fae who was there when the began.

Quaraun the Omega... readers know right from the start of the series, that Earth imploded, Earth no longer exist, and SunTa, King of the Sun, Grand High Emperor of The Tripple Planets, blew it up, by simply saying one word: "DIE!". The Almighty Omega, God the Destroyer, The End of All Life on Earth. The series starts out with him, and tells readers, that millina ago, he was just a simple Elf, who loved The Alpha, loved God the Creator, and was devistated when the Alpha died, because to his mind, gods should never die, so he reserected The Alpha, and became The Alpha-Omega, a god able to create life, and insane enough to destroy it.

It goes on the say his grandson Etiole was the first of the GriGori, the father of the Nephillium, the archangle who's three pairs of wings were ripped off and he was cast out of the Celestial Kingdom, into the sea below and transformed into a MerMan.

It continues, by rretelling the story of Noah, and the battle of the Watchers, leaad by Etiole, directly quoting the Bible itself retelling the Bible story of the War in Heaven with the angel dividing into 2 faction, those who wore white and rode unicorns (exactly as described in the Bible as the Army of Heaven) and those who wore red and rode dragons (as the Bible defins the army of Azaeal... no, not Satan... the Bible does not say either Satan or Hell, it says "the Watchers who wor white, rode unicorns and followed Micheal, fought against the Watchers who wore red and rode dragons and followed Azazeal, and were fighting over the daughters of Eve, to takem them as wives and father half-breeds named NEpillium, and Good looked down and said We must destroy what we created, and God left the firmemn to walk amoung men, and there he found Noah and commanded him to build and ark"...

...that part of the Bible, is the starting point of my series, with my series ouright saying that BoomFuzzy was the last Unicorn, the ONLY Unicorn to survive the flood, because the Bible states, that Noah refuused to allow any Unicorn or any dragon onboard, because the Unicorns and the Dragons both had sided with the GriGory watcher Angels.

I always laugh when I see children's picture books of the story of Noah's Arch and those picture books completly neglect to include anything about Unicorns, Red Dragons, The Grigori Angels, the Watchers, the mass abduction of Human women forced to be slave breeders to the Watchers, the rise of the Nephilull... people talk about Noah's Arc and, haven't got a clue that Noah's Arc is the just the last 4 or 5 verses of a 3 chapter long batle between archangels riding Unicorns and Dragons... and then those same people wonder why over 80% of people who ACTUAL READ the Bible, become aethiests...

...if more people read the Bible, and learned about the Unicorns, Dragons, Nephillum, Alfar, and all that other wild shit that makes up 90% of the ACTUAL Noah's Arc story, they'd probably stop believeing in the Bible oo, because the Batle of the GriGori is one of the wildest tales in all of the Bible, not just the Book of Genises.

But, THAT is where BoomFuzzy gets called The Alpha from.

My series, picks up where the Bible's Noah's arc leaves off, to say, not all of them died... one lived, but he did not know which he had been in the war... a Unicorn? or a Dragon? He could not remember which side of the war he had fought on. He survives the Flood of Noah, and he spent his life sometimes shiftered into a dragon and sometimes shifted into a Unicorn.

The problem with calling my work Omegaverse is it treats Alpha/Omega as if the only relevant reference point was the modern AO3-era omegaverse framework, when my usage predates that by decades and comes from a completely different lineage of influences...one that is over SEVEN THOUSAND years old. The Bible and the story of Noah and it's fierce battle of Heaven between Micheal and Azael.

For my series, “Alpha” and “Omega” are not a newly invented romance taxonomy. They are part of the older science fiction, horror, monster, romanc, and most notable Jewish (Old Testiment Bible) folklor traditions.

In the biblical and theological tradition, "Alpha and Omega" refers to the beginning and the end. BoomFuzzy is the beginning of the world, Quaraun is the end.

there' ain't no one outside of the internet who does NOT use Alpha and Omega in the Jewish, Christian, Catholic, Mormon, Evangelica Alpha LIERATLY IN THE DICTIONARY means "start/beginning/first/creator of life" while Omega, literaly in the dictionary MEANS "end/last/death/destroyer of life"... there are over 8 BILLION people on the planet who use Alpha and Omega that way, and ao3 has only 33k Omegaverse stories, meaning only few thousand people on the planet default Alpha or Omega to omegaverse... so what the fuck? why are readers defaulting to trying to shove some tiny, minicule, obscure useage that over 98% of the people on the planet have never heard of onto my work?

I suppose the funniest thing of all, is they then get it into their heads that it is erotica. Nope. It isn't. 

Which ends up with the craziest reviews from readers. Because people who never read the series, will rush to Amazon and Goodreads, leave unverified reviews (meaning Amazon slaps a badge next to their username to say that they left a review without first buying the book) calling the series erotica, while raving Bible thumping hate rants. 

This in turn causes Erotica readers to read their reviews, buy my books thinking "This is Erotica? Awesome! I wonder why Amazon lists it as Slice of Life, Cozy Fantasy, Cosmic Horror, and Literary Fantasy? ", then the buyers read the books, find out it's Slice of Life where characters sit around talking about life, joking about their penises in very childish manners, and sex never happens, no one ever gets naked, and Erotica readers, go "What the hell, where's all the sex, smut and erotica the other reviewer was talking about?", then the person who actually read the books, also writes reviews saying "I don't know what kind of a rock the the other reviewer lives under but they are a fucking prude who wouldn't know Erotica if it bit them on the ass! This is not erotica! why are they calling it Erotica!".

The Amazon reviews on my books are an endless up and down of 50 new 1 star reviews today, zero reviews the following weak after Amazon removed them all for leaving 1 stars without buying the book. Ten more 1 stars Bible thump anti-Erotica rants the next week, Amazon deletes those the following week.

Sigh.

Have I ever mentioned I hate sex?

I hate smut.

I hate Erotica.

And I especially hate people who lump my books into the vile smutty, sex filled category of Erotica, so I really have questions as to why my books are getting called omega verse.

But also, I hate people who contact me asking me to add sex scenes to my books.

the thing people are not considering, when they call my work Erotica is how incredibly offensive that is, they forget there could be an actual REASON for writing no smutt... one related to real world trauma. I was SAed many times as a child, by adults (2 uncles and the sunday school president of our church) who should have been men I could trust. I had my first miscarriage at age 12, and miscarriage was what THEY called it, after they shoved me in a shower stall and kicked me in the stomach until they were sure the baby was dead, then locked the bathroom door and left me there for 3 days to "make sure I didn't get blood all over the house, so annoying to have to clean it off the rugs".

I had SEVEN of these miscarriages by the time I was 18 years old.

Needless to say as an adult I have an EXTREME HATRED for sex, smut, and erotica. I neither read nor write it and I block any reader demanding it.

My parents, used 12 year old me as a fucking breeder to high priests at the Cape Elizabeth church, because my mother was infertile and THAT is WHY I wrote Quaraun being kept as a breeder, locked up by an insane infertile bitch who didn't give a shit about him and just kept hiring men to rape, rape, rape, rape, rape....I wrote Quaraun wanting to not be female anymore, because that's all that ever went through my head... I fucking hated being female, I hated that my mother saw me as nothing but a breeder to pop out babies for her obsession with having a son... so I wrote Rapunzel, being used the same way and hating it and finally escaping and living as a man after escaping to try to forget the shirt his crazed infertile overlord did to him...

That's the whole reason, they -my parents- took me out of Old Orchard Beach Loranger School when I was 8. Because I started my period when I was 8. And all I ever was to my parents, was a fucking breeder, that's why they kept me locked in funking woodshed they called a room for 27 years, from the time I was 8 years old until I escaped it at age 31. I was pregnant 7 times before I was 16 years old, and they took my babies away every single time... and THAT is why that's how the Quaraun series starts... because I was sick of my mother selling my to high priests of her church, just because she was infertile and obsessed with needing to have a so and she thought having priests rape me endlessly was the way to get a baby... well, guess what... no matter how many rape babies she stole from me, not a one of them are hers and she knows it.

I committed the crime of being born female, and my mother told me that every damned day: "you filthy little competition bitch, I wanted a boy! you committed the sin of being born female! you fucking good for nothing four eyed retard! I didn't commit any sin, so why the fuck did god fucking punish me with a fucking female! you are unloved and unwanted you filthy little competition bitch!"

I grew up, endlessly wish I was male, and that's why I wrote Quaraun as living as a male and using he/him/his male pronouns after he discarded his past as Rapunzel.

Reviews don't stay on my books long, but boy oh boy are they popcorn worthy anti-Erotica rants of raving Bible thumping insanity hate feasts, when they are there.

Thing is amazon does not allow fake reviews, and Amazon has already had an actual Human read my books to verify that they were not Erotica, due to the high rate of (several hundred every year) 1 star reviews accusing my books of being Erotica.

I remain as always shocked by how few people know what is and is not a sex scene.

A character saying in dialogue "I have two penises," is NOT a sex scene.

A character saying "Fuck yeah, let's fuck", is also NOT a sex scene.

A character saying in a dialogue conversation: "Ever fucked a vagina that had fangs?" is likewise, also NOT a sex scene.

A character saying "You fucking fucktard!" is yet again, NOT a sex scene.

A character saying "Yeah, I got a corkscrew shaped penis" again, does NOT count as a sex scene.

And if you expect to find more then that in my books, you are going to be seriously disappointed.

There are so many times I am left wanting to say to the people who accuse my books of being Erotica: "You do know that Erotica usually requires a 1/3rd or more of the pages to be non stop full on the page intercourse, right?... so if a book is 90 pages long, there are at minimum 30 pages of sex before it is counted as Erotica."

It's lewd, yes.

It's crude, yes.

It's vulgar, yes.

But Erotica? Honey, if you think this is anything even remotely close to Erotica, I have so many questions about what exactly you think sex is, including are you a virgin and do think holding hands counts as sex too?

Have I ever mentioned I hate sex?

I hate smut.

I hate Erotica.

And I especially hate people who lump my books into the vile smutty, sex filled category of Erotica, so I really have questions as to why my books are getting called omega verse.

But also, I hate people who contact me asking me to add sex scenes to my books.

the thing people are not considering, when they call my work Erotica is how incredibly offensive that is, they forget there could be an actual REASON for writing no smutt... one related to real world trauma. I was SAed many times as a child, by adults (2 uncles and the sunday school president of our church) who should have been men I could trust. I had my first miscarriage at age 12, and miscarriage was what THEY called it, after they shoved me in a shower stall and kicked me in the stomach until they were sure the baby was dead, then locked the bathroom door and left me there for 3 days to "make sure I didn't get blood all over the house, so annoying to have to clean it off the rugs".

I had SEVEN of these miscarriages by the time I was 18 years old.

Needless to say as an adult I have an EXTREME HATRED for sex, smut, and erotica. I neither read nor write it and I block any reader demanding it.

My parents, used 12 year old me as a fucking breeder to high priests at the Cape Elizabeth church, because my mother was infertile and THAT is WHY I wrote Quaraun being kept as a breeder, locked up by an insane infertile bitch who didn't give a shit about him and just kept hiring men to rape, rape, rape, rape, rape....I wrote Quaraun wanting to not be female anymore, because that's all that ever went through my head... I fucking hated being female, I hated that my mother saw me as nothing but a breeder to pop out babies for her obsession with having a son... so I wrote Rapunzel, being used the same way and hating it and finally escaping and living as a man after escaping to try to forget the shirt his crazed infertile overlord did to him...

That's the whole reason, they -my parents- took me out of Old Orchard Beach Loranger School when I was 8. Because I started my period when I was 8. And all I ever was to my parents, was a fucking breeder, that's why they kept me locked in funking woodshed they called a room for 27 years, from the time I was 8 years old until I escaped it at age 31. I was pregnant 7 times before I was 16 years old, and they took my babies away every single time... and THAT is why that's how the Quaraun series starts... because I was sick of my mother selling my to high priests of her church, just because she was infertile and obsessed with needing to have a so and she thought having priests rape me endlessly was the way to get a baby... well, guess what... no matter how many rape babies she stole from me, not a one of them are hers and she knows it.

I committed the crime of being born female, and my mother told me that every damned day: "you filthy little competition bitch, I wanted a boy! you committed the sin of being born female! you fucking good for nothing four eyed retard! I didn't commit any sin, so why the fuck did god fucking punish me with a fucking female! you are unloved and unwanted you filthy little competition bitch!"

I grew up, endlessly wish I was male, and that's why I wrote Quaraun as living as a male and using he/him/his male pronouns after he discarded his past as Rapunzel.

So what are my books?

They are exactly what Amazon tells you they are: Slice of Life, Cozy Fantasy, Cosmic Horror, and Literary Fantasy.

My characters live offgrid in a lighthouse, raise livestock, weave cloth, cook food, grow crops, go fishing, travel by steamboat, sell products at farmers markets, dig for clam, haul in lobster traps on their lobster boat, struggle with pregnancy issues, raise children, chase toddlers, change diapers, try to get all the children to sit down at the table at the same time to eat dinner, make candles, make soap, sew clothes, go camping, hike in the forest, savage ruins, fight zombies, tend orchards, shuck clams, forage mushrooms, dredge salt of of the ocean, take noon time tea breaks, run a food truck on the beach, mend fences, herd sheep, look for escaped yaks, scrub floors, bake bread, wash windows, snuggle by the fire, watch the sunset, ... it's very much "Little House on the Prairie" style domestic family drama, in The Walking Dead style zombie infested ruins, that just happens to be set in the Omegaverse.... and the bulk of people are likely to find it very, very, very boring.

Think of it this way: It's what you would get if you took Ma and Pa Kettle, and Isekai'ed them into the Omegaverse as an Elf and a Faerie, with a 100+ kids, all living in a lighthouse during a zombie apocalypse.

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy by a campfire

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy at Mechanic's Park, by Pepperell Mill's North Damn Mill Smokestack, in Biddeford, Maine aka known as Pepper Valley in the Quaraun books

Quaraun after he got his foot stuck in a crab trap and BoomFuzzy laughing at him and giving him a lobster roll.

But here's the thing... I started writing my series in 1978, and I only found out about Omegaverse in 2026.

Yep.

You see, I did not set out to write Omegaverse, and in fact, I had no idea I was writing Omegaverse.

That's gonna take a bit of explaining, so here we go, this is gonna long.

Except, the thing is this: I've only known about Omegaverse since april 2026 ans the first volume of my series (The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane) was published September 23, 1978 (originally called The Twighlight Manor series back then). sooo... four months ago I was not calling it Omegaverse, and and indeed, I'm still not now calling it Omegaverse, as I am hesitant to do so.

Why?

Well, the thing is, it is several of my readers who say my series is Omegaverse.

My point in answering their question this way, is to say, yes, you should say "Omegaverse" if you write "Omegaverse". why? well, you're a shitty person is you write a genre and are too ashamed of what you write to admit it, right?

I've always called my series Dark Fantasy (the same genre as Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Neverending Story, BeetleJuice, Hocus Pocus, The Addams Family, Edward Scissorhands, Fall of the House of Usher, etc) and I have never heard of Omegaverse, sooo...

...it was in fact this question, this person asked me (in April 2026) rthat lead me to wonder, WHY do they think The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane is Omegaverse?

... the question becomes, what genre IS The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane? Is it Omegaverse?

If you are new to me, my books, and/or my website, it would likely be best for you to know what I write, so I'm putting this at the start of my home page, so you can learn about the series I write.

So, let's take a look at the things my series is about, features, and has, and you can judge for yourself if it is Omegaverse or something else.

I first encountered the "omegaverse community" online, on MySpace in 2005, 21 years ago, so two decades ago.

I say "Omegaverse" in quotations because back in 2005 MySpace, we didn't say "Omegaverse" we said "Monster Porn". We used all the words knotting, nesting, heats, rutting, sound bounding, fated mates, alpha, omega, beta, delta, gamma, etc, but NOT the actual word "omegaverse" because that word hadn't been invented yet. I'm not sure when it was invented. Most sources I can find that seem to be accurate say "2010" as being the first time the word "omegaverse" was used, but,, they each cite a different work with being the first one.

We called ourself "Monster Porn" writers and our characters were shifters who had multiple animal features, lived by wolf pack laws, and had packs led by alphas, kept female breeding slaves called Omegas, and had male slaves called Betas.

Back then in 2005, MySpace was a blogging site similar to Tumblr and you post fiction there. MySpace deleted the fiction publishing part of their site in 2008, which was when we all set out to looking for other places and found Tumblr.

On Tumblr people referred to us as "The Furry Authors"... HOWVER... Furry meant something different back then, and the Tumblr "Furry Community" rose up in around 2010, which eh... if you know, you know... they are not writers, hey are can girls who dress up in sports mascot type costumes and ... do cam girl stuff... which at the time Tumblr didn't have a proper ToS, soooo... Tumblr quickly became PornHub's biggest competitor, until a couple years later when Tumblr's owners found out what was going on and banned over a hundred thousand accounts for their nude videos. They then went to Twitch and got banned by Twitch, then OnlyFans got created and they all went there.

Sooo, the word "Furry" developed this bad reputation of being a sex thing, so we "Furry Writers" stop calling ourselves "Furry Writers" to distance ourselves from the bad reputation the word Furry had gained. Since then a completely different "Furry Community" rose up on Tumblr, and, they... uhm...heir reputation wasn't much better. They quickly became known for hostile troll attacks on everyone who "wasn't Furry enough" which was pretty much everybody, including most off the actual Furry (CosPlay) community (that is not connected to either the cam girls or the Tumblr Furries).

Well, we started calling ourselves Shifter Writers. And depending on the tropes used, we called our books Paranormal Romance, Dark Romance, Fantasy Romance, Gothic Romance, Shifter Romance, Werewolf Romance, etc. Romantacy is a new genre that rose up out of that community, and Cozy Fantasy spun off of that.

And I feel like the best genre for my series is Cozy Fantasy.

But also, a lot of people are telling me, I should list it as Omegaverse. People been telling me that for quite a few years now, but I didn't know what Omegaverse was.

So, let's look at the world lore of my series and compare it to the world lore of the Omegaverse.

Worldlore you should probably be aware of: This is old school "Tumblr/MySpace 2005 to 2010 era style Omegaverse" from when Omegaverse meant it's SciFi Fantasy in an alternative earth far future where science has "Island of Dr Moreau"-style crossed animal dna with people to create people that are part animal and follow an Alpha/Omega/Beta pecking order in society.

And again, as previously noted, I'm using "Omegaverse" here, but back in 2005, the word "omegaverse" had not yet been invented so that's not the word we used back then.

H. G. Wells' book "The Island of Dr. Moreau" and the 1970s movie of the same name, are presumed to the he actual past of this world. Worldlore assumes Dr. Moreau's work was picked up others and continued in the late 23rd century, resulting in there being as many animal hybrid humanoids as humans, by the year 2525 when the Comet Swift Tuttle hit the moon, causing near mass extinction of Humans, while leaving the animal hybrids (whom refer to themselves as Faeries) to rule the Earth.

It is now the year 39,999, twenty thousand years have passed since Dr. Moreau experiments and the animal hybrids are the apex predators, while what few Humans there still are, live in small survivor camps and settlements scattered in the wilderness.

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun the Insane, with his husband King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Lich Lord of Fire Mountain, walking on Noodle Beach...heights corrected, though tiny, at 5'6" Quaraun is much taller then BoomFuzzy. BoomFuzzy is only 5'1" tall, but lore states BoomFuzzy can change his height at will, and that 5'1" is simply the height he "usually" is because it makes him seem less threatening and easier to lure victims to him.

The Pink Silk Tent and BoomFuzzy's Dragon Form

my series pulls from other sources too. Grimms Fairy Tales for one.

Quaraun is literally Rapunzel. Rapunzel is Quaraun's birth name. His deadname. The name he had in his youth. Quaraun is transgender and upon escaping from the tower he cast aside both the name Rapunzel and being female.

BoomFuzzy is literally the grandson of Babba Yaga, the witch from Hansel and Gretel. He witnessed the murder of his grandmother at the hands of Gretel. Its why he lives in a gingerbread house and why he is a chef who grinds Human bones into cake flour.

Quaraun is evil. Just complete evil. As is BoomFuzzy. If a Human is caught hurting roses, Quaraun is going to vaporize them into a pile of ashes, while BoomFuzzy gleefully tosses the ones that get away off the nearest cliff, and meanwhile GhoulSpawn who says he feels bad about it, shrugs and then rummaged through the Humans' camp to see what loot he can find.

They are more like shoot and loot rpg characters from a video game.

Quaraun isn't a misunderstood conservationist. He's a terrifying ancient necromancer whose response to someone harming his beloved roses is: "Well, you had your chance to make better life choices." Then the person ceases to exist.

BoomFuzzy isn't the moral compass either. He's perfectly happy to escalate the situation, and he enjoys the chaos.

And GhoulSpawn's role is almost comically pragmatic:
"That was unfortunate... anyway, free stuff."

Quaraun spends two hours lovingly tending roses.

A human tears up a rose bush.

Quaraun annihilates the human.

BoomFuzzy checks whether anyone else wants to try.

GhoulSpawn loots the campsite.

Then they all go home for dessert.

The humour comes from how normal this is to them. How utterly not evil they see themselves, how completely they believe Humans are parasites in need of extermination. They're dangerous people who also happen to spend an afternoon arguing about flowers or weaving silk. That's a fun contrast because the ordinary moments don't erase who they are.

For Quaraun, a perfect day might be:

Tend the roses.

Sell some silk.

Drink tea with BoomFuzzy.

Watch the sunset over the Atlantic.

From his point of view, that's a peaceful, comforting day.

For the nearby Human settlement, that same day is:

"The Pink Necromancer was seen on the dunes."

"Nobody go near the old lighthouse."

"If you see pink silk, run."

Those are simultaneously true.

its cozy FOR THEM (the monsters) villain point of view, slice of life, but they are like the most terrifying Boogeyman men a child could think up living under the bed, only they ain't hiding in closets and under beds.

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are the protagonists, not the heroes. They are the monsters who kill the heroes.

Quaraun is carefully deadheading roses with crippled hands, completely absorbed in making the bushes healthier, and everyone else is giving that entire stretch of coastline a several-mile-wide berth because they know who is gardening there.

BoomFuzzy can be flipping waffles and chatting about clam digging while travellers whisper: "That's the one they call the Lich King."

GhoulSpawn can be tinkering with some absurd scientific project while nearby villages have children's stories warning: "Don't wander into the Forest of No Return."

The key is that none of them think of themselves as monsters. They simply live their lives. It's everyone else who's terrified.

That perspective shift is what makes "cozy villain slice of life" work. I'm not writing about the victims. I'm writing about the monsters the victims tell stories about.

It's like the old fairy tales where parents warn children: "Stay out of the woods or the witch will get you."

Except my stories follow the witch at home, making breakfast, complaining about the weather, fussing over the garden, and wondering why the local Humans keep trampling the flowerbeds.

The boogeymen aren't plotting world domination every chapter. They're busy living ordinary domestic lives together. They're just extraordinarily dangerous if someone crosses one of the very clear lines they've drawn.

And that is literally my goal... to show the perspective of the monsters the Brothers Grimm wrote about. That's WHY Quaraun has fourteen foot long hair, and WHY he has gold plated hands plus married the Faerie King, and WHY he weaves and spins, and WHY BoomFuzzy lives in a gingerbread house and bakes fancy cakes, and WHY GhoulSpawn was born a lamb to Humanlike parents and slowly evolved to be more Humanoids he gets older,... its literally retelling the stories:

Quaraun is a blend of: Rapunzel, The Girl With Silver Hands, The Three Sinsters.

BoomFuzzy is a blend of Hansel and Gretel, the Faerie King from The Girl with Silver Hands, and Blue Beard.

GhoulSpawn is a blend of Hans My Hedgehog, The Klutz from The Princess who Never Laughed, and The Shepherd.

BoomFuzzy is literally the grandchild of the old witch killed by Hansel and Gretel, who hates Humans because they cooked the woman who raised him and taught him to cook gingerbread, he became the King of the Faeries to hunt Humans in revenge, meanwhile Quaraun is literally Rapunzel, the series starts out with him, still a cis female, Elf Princess locked in a tower and growing out her hair to try to escape, falling in love with the blind Faerie King who visited her, then when her father finds out he crushes her hands and banishes her, the Faerie King makes her a pair of gold metal hands, then leaves for war, but she is pregnant with twins, and goes to hide in the desert disguised as a man, meets the DiJinn wizards, becomes a wizard, meanwhile the Faerie King dies, so the Elf turns to necromancy to bring him back as a revenant like lich.

the first volume of the series is literally the story of Hansel and Gretel, Rapunzel, and the Girl with Silver hands, retold as though the 3 stories were all the same characters. that's even how its sold: "a twisted retelling of Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, and The Girl With Silver Hands"

It's not LIKE them, it IS them.

that's why Quaraun constantly talks of his escape from the tower, while BoomFuzzy constantly says the phrase "those evil, nasty children who murdered my granny" he's literally the grandson of the old witch in Hansel and Gretel and he still lives in her gingerbread house

Instead of asking, "How does the child escape the witch?" Im asking, "What does the witch do after breakfast?" And in my case, the answer might be, "Prune the roses, weave silk, have tea with her husbands... and reduce anyone who hacks at the rose bushes to a smoking pile of ash." It's an everyday routine, just from the point of view of the creatures who were never meant to be the protagonists.

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun the Insane, with his husband King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Lich Lord of Fire Mountain, walking down an street in The Godforsaken City formerly known as Boston... Quaraun is transgender, a f2m transman who uses he/him/his male pronouns, but makes no attempt to try to look male and continues to wear female ball gowns as his daily wear...Being the most deadly mage in the known universe, The Guild of Wizardry requires Quaraun to wearing bright pink at all times, (each mage is assigned a colour and no one else on the planet is allowed to wear that colour).

And again, as previously noted, I'm using "Omegaverse" here, but back in 2005, the word "omegaverse" had not yet been invented so that's not the word we used back then.

Now, I'm not going to go over what Omegaverse traditionally is, because, as I said, I only found out about the omegaverse barely 6 months ago, because a bunch of readers of my work started telling me my work was Omegaverse (they've been telling me this for 5+ years now, but I only just finally Googled "What is Omegaverse?" about 6 months ago, to try to find out what it is they were talking about and why were they calling my series Omegaverse) so I don't know the history of all of it, how it started, what everything in it is, ect. so I'm not qualified to list off "here's what omegaverse is".

Rather my goal here is to tell you what MY SERIES IS, and how I came to be writing it the way I did, and then you can take that and go compare it to the Omegaverse and judge for yourself if you think my readers are right to say it is Omegaverse or not.

So here is other people explaining what the Omegaverse is: (all of these 6 links go to other people's websites):

The Omegaverse according to FanLore

Basic Explaination of the Omegaverse according to a WattPad User

(WARNING... this link goes to Tumblr): The Omegaverse Guide (quick reminder, this is a Tumblr link; consider yourself warned. If you click this link, it's taking you to Tumblr. If you know, you know; if you don't know what Tumblr is like, take eye bleach you. You're gonna need it.)

The Omegaverse according to TV-Tropes

How Omegaverse Came to Dominate Fanfiction, and Why That Might Not Be Such a Bad Thing

The Omegaverse according to Wikipedia.

So, here's the thing, I'm just not sure if my series IS Omegaverse or not.

I mean, after reading those articles, I get where readers are making the connection and all, but I'm just not sure.

Yes, BoomFuzzy has two penises and and does this whole knotting thing, and the narrative calls him an Alpha, or more specifically a Sigma Alpha... but, my series DOES use Alpha to means something different from what those articles defined as being an Alpha in the Omegaverse.

Alpha is NOT a gender type in my series. It's a political title, like a King.

Vs in The Omegaverse Alpha is literally a type of gender, in addition to male or female. Alpha is a GENDER TYPE in The omegavrse, but it is a MILITARY/POLITICAL title meaning "ruler/king" in my series.

So even though BoomFuzzy is called the Alpha, if Alpha is his title and not his gender, is it still Omegaverse?

Yes, BoomFuzzy owns a breeding farm and keeps breeders, called Omegas there, and yes, Quaraun is his favourite Omega and his personal consort, and the only breeder who lives with BoomFuzzy as his spouse.

But, Omegas in the Omegaverse are usually male. Like biological cis males.

And Quaraun is transgender.

Yes, Quaraun his a man and uses he/him/his pronouns... but, he's transgender. And that means he has a vagina, and ovaries, and a uterus. He's transgender which means he's like Joan of arc aka Quaraun is a female who lives as a man.

So, when Quaraun is pregnant, as he often is, him being BoomFuzzy's favourite breeder and all, when quaraun is pregnant, there is nothing mystical or magical going on. He's just a transgender man who did not have surgical sex change operations, so he still has the vagina he was born with and he can still get pregnant and it's just normal pregnancy.

VS in The Omegaverse when an Omega is pregnant, they are biologically male and get pregnant via magical none biological means, and have to have c-section births because, they are biological males who don't have vaginas.

So is it STILL Omegaverse is the Omega is a transman with non-magical, normal biological pregnancies?

There's a LOT of stuff and terms and vocabulary crossover between my series and The Omegaverse which does on the surface make is SEEM like my series is Omegaverse, but the meanings and usages in my series are vastly different from the standards found in Omegaverse lore, so I'm conflicted and uncertain if my series does in fact classify as Omegaverse or not.

And now, here is the stuff in my series/Quaraun's world, that is causing readers to classify my series as Omegaverse, the things that use the same phrases, but well, here's what those phrases mean in my series, and if you read those 6 articles linked above, you'll quickly see the meanings of the words in my series are VASTLY different from how those same words are used in the Omegaverse, according to how those 6 articles define The Omegaverse:

TRIGGER WARNING: In case you forgot... Quaraun is a zombie, as is BoomFuzzy, and Ghoulspawn is too, he just hasn't come to terms with it yet, my series is a zombie apocalypse told from the point of views of the zombies... these are LITERAL UNDEAD MONSTERS, a hoard of intelligent thinking zombies that are able to pass themselves off as the living, so they can "Something Wicked This way Comes" style set up a seemingly innocent carnival in a village of the living, and them eat all the people that were stupid enough to enter the market... it's a travelling merchant and food truck chef, leading a massive horde of twenty-one billion zombies across the planet, systematically hunting down the living, because they eat brains, and all these guys have on their minds is where's the next group of brains we can harvest... literal Goblin Market logic here, NO ONE IS SELLING to customers, because the merchants are zombies eating the customers.

My characters are blood thirsty zombies with one thing on their minds: Brains!

Brains, brains, brains, brains, BRAINS!

Harvesting brains.

Eating brains.

Cooking brains.

Picking brains.

Pickling brains.

Sauteing brains.

Creating new recipes for brains stew.

And leaving nothing to waste, BoomFuzzy grinds Human bones into flour, literal bone meal flour, for making his gingerbread, his magical gingerbread that he uses to lure Humans into The UnSeelie Court, so the UnDead Evil faeries can feast on Humans brains.

I suppose the best way to show you what the "Omegaverse" type parts of my series is like, by just showing you one of the "Omegaverse/MPreg" scenes: (Note, this has not yet been edited; and it is formatted for the vn - it is from the draft of the visual novel "Quaraun goes to the Fair") (A visual novel is a type of video game/this is a scene from the video game, that's why it is script format)

Oh, by the way, in case you hadn't heard: I got permission/rights to use this song as the theme song for this game, so, here, play the YouTube version while you read this:

NARRATOR: "Quaraun continued texting for a few minutes but neither BoomFuzzy nor GhoulSpawn responded."

Quaraun: "I am bored and annoyed and annoyed and bored, and I have to pee again."

Quaraun: "Why do these kits have to spend all their time dancing on my bladder?"

Quaraun: "It is bad enough I am too pregnant to run my sales booth, but I need someone to help me stand up so I can go pee and neither on of them are answering their phones."

NARRATOR: "Quaraun paused contemplating writing poetry on how they had both abandoned him, when suddenly, BoomFuzzy came raging into Quaraun's pink silk tent, while dragging GhoulSpawn behind him."

BoomFuzzy: "I have had it up to here with the both of you."

BoomFuzzy: "You..."

NARRATOR: "He threw GhoulSpawn into a pile of pillows beside Quaraun."

BoomFuzzy: "Stay there and study your fucking books! I want you knowing how to repair the damned Bio Dome before we get back home."

BoomFuzzy: "And you..."

NARRATOR: "The King spun around to glare angrily at his court mage."

BoomFuzzy: "Give me that fucking phone!"

NARRATOR: "BoomFuzzy tore the phone out of Quaraun's hands before the old Elf had a chance to respond."

Quaraun: "Give that back!"

BoomFuzzy: "NO!"

Quaraun: "I am trying to have my hourly existential crisis!"

BoomFuzzy: "AND I AM TRYING TO RUN A FUCKING KINGDOM!"

Quaraun: "I need my phone."

BoomFuzzy: "And I need my sanity!"

GhoulSpawn: "Tough luck having that around him, driving every one around him, insane is Quaraun's speciality. I've never..."

BoomFuzzy: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO FUCKING STOP TALKING FOR FIVE DAMNED FUCKING SECONDS!?!"

GhoulSpawn: "Technically that is incorrect, because stopping to breath between sentences takes about five seconds, meaning every time I breath through my nose or my mouth, I am in fact not talking for those few seconds and..."

BoomFuzzy: "SHUT UP!"

BoomFuzzy: "I have had it up to here with the both of you. {p} We have a very bad winter ahead of us, and the first blizzards will be hitting us with in the next two weeks."

BoomFuzzy: "We NEED the Bio Dome repaired BEFORE the blizzard starts. {p} If that Bio Dome isn't up and running before the first blizzard hits, we NEED to move underground."

BoomFuzzy: "That means we have to get the caves ready. We have to have food and water and everything else we need in storage, and right now, we don't and we are running out of time to do it."

BoomFuzzy: "The Shard Fall is going to start up again soon. {p} We don't know exactly when. {p} It could be a few months. {p} It could be a few years. {p} It could be tomorrow."

BoomFuzzy: "We need to be ready for the next Shard Fall. {p} You know how bad the last one was..."

GhoulSpawn: "Actually... I don't. I wasn't here. {p} I've never seen a Shard Fall. {p} I kind of don't know what it is."

BoomFuzzy: "SHUT UP! {p} I AM YOUR KING AND YOU DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!"

Quaraun: "He is correct. He has never seen a Shard Fall. So he does not know what it is we have to prepare for."

NARRATOR: "BoomFuzzy glared at Quaraun, his fist tightening around the cleaver in his hand. {p} Seeing this Quaraun quickly added..."

Quaraun: "As your Royal Court Mage and Advisor, I DO in fact have your prior permission to interrupt you if I feel that you are in need of advising..."

Quaraun: "...and therefore I am not out of line in reminding you that while Glinta has been informed of the dangers, one really can not mentally prepare for the magnitude of cataclysm that comes with a Shard Fall, because what exactly would it mean to say that one was prepared for such a thing, when preparation itself presupposes that the mind possesses some adequate measure by which it can comprehend the event for which it is preparing..."

Quaraun: "...and I assure you that there is no adequate measure, there is no sensible comparison, there is no previous catastrophe to which one can point and say, yes, it shall be like that, only larger, because the whole horror of a Shard Fall lies precisely in the fact that it is not merely an unusually large disaster, nor is it merely an inconvenience which has been magnified by distance and circumstance..."

Quaraun: "...but a thing which descends upon the world with such extravagant indifference to everything living upon it that all one's carefully assembled preparations become, in the final accounting, little more than an elaborate arrangement of objects which happen to be standing in the correct room when the roof ceases to exist;..."

Quaraun: "... and you may tell Glinta to store provisions, you may tell him to reinforce the doors, you may tell him to remain indoors, you may tell him to keep away from the windows and to follow every instruction given by those who have survived one before, but none of those instructions will give him the experience of hearing the world itself make a sound which his mind insists cannot possibly be coming from the world,..."

Quaraun: "... nor will they teach him what it is to look upward and understand, with that peculiar and appalling clarity which arrives only when there is no longer any use in denying what the eyes are seeing, that the thing falling from the heavens is not some distant phenomenon which belongs to the sky and therefore can remain safely in the sky, but is coming here, specifically here, ..."

Quaraun: "...and that your house, your road, your garden, your carefully repaired roof, your pantry, your bed, your body, all of it occupies the same unfortunate planet as the falling stone; and so when you tell me that Glinta has been informed, I believe you, and when you tell me that he understands the danger, I believe that also, but understanding a sentence and understanding a Shard Fall are two entirely different accomplishments,..."

Quaraun: "... and I should not like to discover, after the first fragment tears through something he once believed permanent, that we mistook his ability to repeat our warnings back to us for the far less pleasant ability to comprehend why we have spent all this time preparing..."

GhoulSpawn: "I told you he talks more then I do..."

BoomFuzzy: "Shut up."

GhoulSpawn: "ME? {p} Why don't you tell HIM to shut up?"

BoomFuzzy: "Because I'm married to him. And you're just the idiot he runs around with behind my back."

GhoulSpawn: "We kind of all three of us sleep in bed together at the same time. I don't see you complaining then."

Quaraun: "... and perhaps this is the true terror of it, not the falling stone itself, but the impossibility of making the mind understand that something can be both inevitable and incomprehensible, much as it is impossible to explain to a rat that the gnawing inside its skull is not hunger, not madness, but the gradual devouring of the very organ by which it might otherwise have understood the difference..."

Quaraun: "... and what is a brain but a particularly elaborate piece of meat upon which existence has permitted itself the temporary luxury of thought, and what is thought but the desperate chewing of little mental rats upon the bones of a universe which has already forgotten why it created us in the first place..."

Quaraun: "...and then there are the primordial depths, of course, the black algae-filled waters beneath everything we foolishly call solid, where Mother's ever-loving tentacles reach upward from the ancient goo while the tadpoles swarm and fight for their opportunity to eat your brain, which is perhaps the most honest metaphor for existence I have ever encountered,..."

Quaraun: "... because we are all tadpoles in the end, swimming through the primordial muck and believing ourselves to be important because we have acquired names, houses, provisions, titles, royal courts, silken garments, and the remarkable audacity to imagine that any of these things will matter when the heavens begin throwing stones at us;"

Quaraun: "... and I find it particularly amusing, in that bleak and rather unpleasant way in which certain things become amusing only after one has stared at them for too long, that every hour on the hour I write a poem about the doom and gloom of existence, the gloom and doom of the cosmos, the doom and gloom of the impending cataclysmic threat of another comet strike,..."

Quaraun: "... the gloom and doom of the rats gnawing at the mind, the gloom and doom of Mother's tentacles, the gloom and doom of the tadpoles, the gloom and doom of the algae, the gloom and doom of the brain which is apparently destined to become lunch,..."

Quaraun: "... and yet somehow none of this has prepared me for the possibility that I shall be forced to endure another Shard Fall without having first finished my tea, which I consider to be a catastrophe of an altogether more personal nature..."

BoomFuzzy: "Love."

Quaraun: "...and therefore I have concluded that Glinta's lack of urgency is entirely rational under the circumstances, because no creature can be expected to fear adequately that which he has never experienced, particularly when the thing itself is so far beyond ordinary comprehension that even those of us who have experienced it are reduced to writing poetry about..."

BoomFuzzy: "LOVE."

Quaraun: "...the impending doom of..."

BoomFuzzy: "Quaraun. Stop."

Quaraun: "I have not finished."

BoomFuzzy: "You have gone completely off the bloody rails."

Quaraun: "I was arriving at an important philosophical conclusion."

BoomFuzzy: "You were talking about tadpoles eating brains."

Quaraun: "Which was precisely where the philosophical conclusion was going."

BoomFuzzy: "No."

Quaraun: "Yes."

BoomFuzzy: "No."

Quaraun: "... it is as if the rats gnawing at the mind, devouring the brain, could be comprehended, alongside mother's ever loving tentacles, screaming from the dark algae filled depths of the primordial goo, while the tadpoles swim, nay fight, for their chance to eat your brain!"

Quaraun: "Yes! Every hour on the hour I write a poem about the doom and gloom of existence. The gloom and doom of the cosmos. The doom and gloom of the impending cataclysmic threat of another comet strike. The gloom and doom of… "

BoomFuzzy: "Love, I'm in the middle of making merchant burgers. I don't have ten hours to listen to your villain arch monologue. The bloody steaks will go bad in the sun. Get to the fucking point. NOW!"

Quaraun: "Glinta has never experienced a Shard Fall... so he can not be expected to feel the same level of urgency as the rest of us."

BoomFuzzy: "That explains his lack urgency, what about yours?"

Quaraun: "I urgently need to pee. I have an entire litter of kits doing summer salts on my bladder..."

BoomFuzzy: "All the more reason we need to gather supplies. {p} With you ready to go into labour any day, we need extra supplies for the bairns, and extra supplies to compensate for you're impending need to be in recovery for weeks after giving birth."

BoomFuzzy: "In case you hadn't noticed I'm trying to take care of you two idiots."

GhoulSpawn: "I'm far from being an idiot. I have thirty two PhDs from Harvard and my IQ makes Einstein look like a blathering idiot..."

BoomFuzzy: "So says the blathering idiot of a goat."

GhoulSpawn: "I'm a Sheep."

BoomFuzzy: "And as Patient Zero, I am the ONLY person whom has ever survived being hit by a shard."

Quaraun: "This is true."

GhoulSpawn: "My understanding of Shard Fall is the shattered remains of Comet Swift Tuttle are due to orbit close to the planet again, and ever since the year it did so by hitting the Moon..."

GhoulSpawn: "it now passes with a massive asteroid belt orbiting it, and the planet is due to get the shit beat out of it be a whole bunch of the debris breaking off the comet's orbit as it passes us, yes?"

BoomFuzzy: "It's worse then that. Shard Fall, is specifically the giant blue crystal shards that fall out of the sky and everything they don't crush when they land, turns into opal."

GhoulSpawn: "The gemstone?"

BoomFuzzy: "Yes. {p} The Crystal Plague. {p} Half the Shards are big enough to rips mountains in half."

GhoulSpawn: "I struggle to image Shards being that big."

Quaraun: "They can be bigger. We have to be ready to leave the planet if needs be, that is why we have the fleet in orbit."

GhoulSpawn: "Leave the planet?"

Quaraun: "Yes! The Crystal Shards are deadly, look like neon blue glowing quartz crystals, but are subzero temperatures, and like liquid nitrogen, touching one instantly flash freezes the person, animal, plant that touched it, and the freezing spreads, which is precisely why I find the prospect of remaining on the planet during a Shard Fall to be an unnecessarily optimistic interpretation of the word survival,..."

Quaraun: "... because what exactly is the point of constructing an underground shelter if the thing falling from the heavens is capable of turning the forest above you into a cemetery of blue crystal statues,..."

Quaraun: "... and what comfort is there in knowing that the roof over your head remains intact when you must nevertheless wonder whether the mountain itself shall be frozen solid around you, trapping you inside it like a fly in amber, except that the fly at least possesses the dignity of not having spent the preceding week arguing over whether enough canned fruit was purchased..."

Quaraun: "...and I have no desire to become a blue crystal statue, thank you, particularly not one with my hands frozen in some undignified position, because if I am to be preserved for eternity I should prefer to be preserved wearing my best pink silks, with my hair arranged properly,..."

Quaraun: "... and preferably somewhere where future civilizations can admire me rather than excavate me from beneath six hundred feet of frozen mountain and say, 'Oh, look, some unfortunate Elf,' as though I were merely an archaeological inconvenience..."

GhoulSpawn: "Quaraun."

Quaraun: "...because I assure you I shall not tolerate being an archaeological inconvenience."

GhoulSpawn: "I only asked if we would leave the planet."

Quaraun: "I was explaining why."

GhoulSpawn: "You explained it."

Quaraun: "I had not finished."

GhoulSpawn: "You never do.

Quaraun: "It is known as The Crystal Plague as people who freeze do not freeze into ice, rather they freeze into blue crystal, looking like a carved crystal statue. Why do you think I am having hourly existential crises!"

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... because you're insane?"

Quaraun: "I am not insane."

GhoulSpawn: "All the wanted posters around the fairgrounds says 'WANTED – DEAD OR ALIVE: QUARAUN THE INSANE'."

Quaraun: "That is because Humans are idiots."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... yeah... I thought it was because you were a mass murdering serial killer who goes from town to town killing all the Humans?"

NARRATOR: "Quaraun ignored this and went back to his original train of thought."

Quaraun: "Unicorn is known as 'Patient Zero' as he was the first person to ever come into contact with a crystal Shard and live, but it is what it did was it turned him into a Frost Lich..."

Quaraun: "...and why he can touch a person and freeze them instantly, and why he can summon blizzards and ice storms. Nothing is more feared in the solar system the Shard Fall and The Crystal Plague it brings."

BoomFuzzy: "It is due to hit us again. {p} It doesn't come consistently so we can not plan for it with great accuracy, but we can predict it within a decade or so."

BoomFuzzy: "And we are in the cusp of that decade right now. The Shard Fall could start any day now. Though I believe, we still have a few months before it will hit us."

BoomFuzzy: "And that is WHY we are here at The GodForsaken City's annual regional fair. If we prepare properly, we can survive The Shard Fall with minimal damages. {p} We have done it before."

BoomFuzzy: "While this is YOUR first Shard Fall, Ghoulie, it isn't ours. {p} Shard Fall will take out many cities, kill entire settlements, erase entire forests. It is hellish devastation, that will hit the entire planet all at once."

BoomFuzzy: "I have been able to keep all the four hundred families of The UnSeelie Court safe, through every Shard Fall to ever hit us, for two thousand years now."

BoomFuzzy: "I know what I am doing. I know what we need to prepare. I can lead us through this, if you let me do my job. {p} And part of that job, is we NEED supplies that we can't grow or make ourselves."

BoomFuzzy: "That is WHY we are here at this festival. We are not here to goof off or play games or bumble around like fucking idiots. Got it? I have a Job to do. And I need you two, to let me do it."

BoomFuzzy: "And that means I want the two of you, to stay here, and do whatever the hell it is the two of you do when you're alone in this tent. No more texting me unless it is an ACTUAL emergency."

BoomFuzzy: "Okay? {p} Do you two think you can stay out of trouble, for a single weekend? {p} Is that really too much to ask?"

GhoulSpawn: "You've got have the vendors lined up out there on the chopping block!"

BoomFuzzy: "We need enough food to last three fucking years, of underground living in caves beneath the mountains for the next three years without any possibility of going back to the surface."

GhoulSpawn: "They're Humans!"

BoomFuzzy: "They're livestock. Get used to it. Be glad we Fae are eating the Humans and not the two of you Elves!"

GhoulSpawn: "I'm a Sheep!"

BoomFuzzy: "You're a half-Elf and we are Phookas. We eat Elves. Why do you think they call me The Elf Eater? You think being a half-Elf will get you off the hook?"

BoomFuzzy: "Most of the pure blooded Elves got killed off in the first Shard Fall. We ran out of Elves to eat centuries ago. That's the only thing that keeps him alive."

NARRATOR: "BoomFuzzy pointed his cleaver towards Quaraun."

BoomFuzzy: "He's the last pure blooded Elf that we can actually verify is pure blooded Elf. We keep him alive so we can breed more Elves."

Quaraun: “Did you ever make my cherry pie or pink cloud macrons?”

BoomFuzzy: “Did you ever bring me a basket of cherries or moon fruit?”

Quaraun: “No.”

BoomFuzzy: “Then what pray tell were you expecting me to make them with?”

Quaraun: “You are a Fearie chef...”

BoomFuzzy: “So?”

Quaraun: “Does that not mean you can pouf acorn caps and get macrons?”

BoomFuzzy: “Cooking doesn’t work that way, Love.”

Quaraun: "You are a Faerie chef, which means that surely there must be some ancient culinary enchantment whereby acorn caps become pastries, or mushrooms become cakes,..."

Quaraun: "... or perhaps you simply point at an empty plate and command it to contain a cherry pie, because I have seen you turn stranger ingredients into things which ought not logically be edible, and I therefore fail to understand why the absence of cherries should constitute an insurmountable obstacle when the entire point of being a Faerie is presumably to make the impossible irritatingly convenient..."

BoomFuzzy: "Love... I cook from scratch. Tastes better that way. I only use magic for food prep when prepping poisons food for luring victims in."

Quaraun: “Pooh.”

BoomFuzzy: “I am the world’s greatest chef. I have more Micheline stars then any other chef on the planet. And I am the world’s most terrifying Faerie Sorceror Lich King. {p} But my cooking is just plain old fashioned cooking. No magic involved. And where there are no cherries, there can be no cherry pie.”

Quaraun: “Alas. I ate three baskets of cherries. The temptation was too great and the kits were so hungry. {p} And I lost the moon fruit in the scuffle with the police. {p} You do not suppose they are at the police department?”

BoomFuzzy: “In the evidence locker if they are.”

Quaraun: “Could we get them back?”

BoomFuzzy: “We’d have to get arrested again.”

Quaraun: “Are you certain?”

BoomFuzzy: “You got a better plan? You’re my royal advisor, I’s your job to come up with ideas.”

Quaraun: “I could pee on a police officer. They would arrest me for that would they not?”

BoomFuzzy: “Humans around would arrest you just for being an Elf. A pregnant Omega Elf who pees on them would prob’ly get arrested even faster.”

Quaraun: "Then perhaps it would be more efficient to pee upon the officer, because if arrest is already the inevitable consequence of my presence, it would be wasteful to allow the opportunity for a more efficient arrest to pass unused..."

BoomFuzzy: "Ya think ya can reel in the crazy just long enough for us to get through the weekend?"

Quaraun: “I need to pee.”

BoomFuzzy: “Go pee then. Why you sitting here bitching about it?”

Quaraun: “My nest is so comfortable. I’ve got all my pillows and fur pelts in just exactly the right places.”

BoomFuzzy: “You have any idea how annoying you are when you’re nesting like a damn broody mother hen?”

Quaraun: “I am still craving pink cloud macrons. These cravings are so annoying. They come on me without warning. Those stupid police who arrested me yesterday took my moon fruit, and I completely forgot about it until just now.”

BoomFuzzy: “Well, I’m sure you’ll find a way for us to get arrested again today. We haven’t gotten through a single day of this festival yet without getting arrested.”

Quaraun: “You act like I do it on purpose!”

BoomFuzzy: “JellyBean, we can’t harvest brains, unless we keep a low profile. {p} And we can’t keep a low profile, if you go around throwing apples at police officers.”

Quaraun: “I was throwing them at you. How was I to know there was a police officer behind you and the apple would hit him when you ducked?”

BoomFuzzy: “Why was ya throwing apples at your King in the first place?”

Quaraun: “You was refusing to make me a cherry pie.”

BoomFuzzy: “On account of you ate all the cherries and there was no cherries left to make a cherry pie out of!”

Quaraun: “Well, the police took my moon fruit, so you can still make pink cloud macrons.”

BoomFuzzy: “If we can get them back out of the police station.”

GhoulSpawn: “You two aren’t seriously considering breaking into the evidence locker of the police station are you?”

Quaraun: “Of course we are!”

GhoulSpawn: “Why don’t you just go back to the fruit stand and buy more moon fruit?”

Quaraun: “Me? Spend coins?”

GhoulSpawn: “Ya, what was I thinking, I forgot it’d be easier to get Scrooge McDuck to spend a dime!”

Quaraun: “Glinta, why should I waste coins, when we have you?”

GhoulSpawn: “Me?”

Quaraun: “You are the best pick pocket, lock picker, sneak thief, I have ever encountered.”

GhoulSpawn: “You want ME to break into the police station evidence locker?”

Quaraun: “YES!”

GhoulSpawn: “Boomie, you’re not agreeing to this are you?”

BoomFuzzy: “If it keeps the two of you out of my hair for the rest of the day.”

GhoulSpawn: “What is so great about pink cloud macrons?”

Quaraun: “BoomFuzzy’s BoomFudgey Pink Cloud Macrons are to die for. Layers of pink moon fruit whipped fluffy cakes stuffed with whipped fluffy chocolate cream. He is the world’s greatest chef and his pink cloud macrons are one of his crowning achievements. A recipe he created.”

BoomFuzzy: “Aye. I didn’t get 43 Micheline Stars for nothing.”

GhoulSpawn: “Are you sure you didn’t just steal the stars off the restaurants after you killed, cooked, and ate the chefs?”

BoomFuzzy: “Eh, same thing.”

GhoulSpawn: “Yeah… I don’t think it works that way…”

BoomFuzzy: “It does when I cook, Ghoulie.”

NARRATOR: "BoomFuzzy did not give them a chance to answer. He stormed out of the tent."

"..."

NARRATOR: "The next two hours passed without incident, but two hours was about as long as Quaraun could go sitting silently."

Quaraun: "I have missed my last two existential crises!"

GhoulSpawn: "Uh-huh."

Quaraun: "I am hungry"

GhoulSpawn: "Yep."

Quaraun: "Are you listening to me?"

GhoulSpawn: "Okay."

NARRATOR: "Quaraun grabbed a pillow and threw it at GhoulSpawn. {p} It missed the Sheep Demon completely and landed silently on the tent floor. {p} GhoulSpawn did not notice."

NARRATOR: "GhoulSpawn hadn't actually registered what it was Quaraun had said. He just had developed a habit of vocally acknowledging every time he heard Quaraun utter a sound."

NARRATOR: "Quaraun pulled out a scroll and began writing poetry. However Quaraun was not one to sit and quietly write. {p} No. Quaraun had to recite out loud as he wrote."

Quaraun: "I can not think of what to write. {p} Though I have not seen the black cat or her eels in a few hours. {p} Perhaps I should write about cats and eels. Eels and cats."

NARRATOR: "Quaraun was resting in his pink silk tent, while GhoulSpawn sat nearby quietly reading up on how to repair solar panels."

NARRATOR: "BoomFuzzy was outside, shouting orders to his Goblins who were chopping up huge sides of meat and grinding them into hamburger."

NARRATOR: "While The Goblin King himself was mixing the fresh ground meat with herbs and spices and grilling patties."

Quaraun: "I am like a cat. {p} I sit here by myself…."

Quaraun: "YES! I am like a cat!"

Quaraun: "I am like a cat. I sit here by myself, silently judging everyone, waiting for someone to feed me, and contemplating the profound indignity of existence, for what is a cat but a small furry monarch condemned to depend upon servants who frequently fail to understand the urgency of luncheon,..."

Quaraun: "... and what is a Human but a larger and considerably less graceful cat who has invented currency, warfare, agriculture, taxation, and trousers in order to disguise the fundamental truth that he too wishes only to sit somewhere warm and be fed,..."

Quaraun: "...and what is an Elf but a considerably more graceful cat who has been given too many books and consequently developed opinions about the metaphysical nature of being alone...

Quaraun: "I am like a cat. I sit here by myself..."

GhoulSpawn: "Quaraun you are not by yourself. I'm literally sitting right beside you."

Quaraun: "Stop interrupting my pontificating."

GhoulSpawn: "Okay. Whatever."

Quaraun: "I am like a cat. {p} I sit here by myself, silently judging everyone."

GhoulSpawn: "You're awfully loud for someone who's being silent. {p} You think you could actually be silently silent? I'm trying to study."

Quaraun: "Stop interrupting me. I am trying to pontificate!"

GhoulSpawn: "Why don't you go bug Boomie some more?"

Quaraun: "He told me to come bug you."

GhoulSpawn: "I know he did, but you don't have to take his words so literally."

Quaraun: "I am like a cat. {p} I sit here by myself, silently judging everyone, waiting for someone to feed me."

GhoulSpawn: "Are you hungry? Is that what all of this is about? Are you just hungry and too crazy to come out and just say you are hungry like a normal person would do?"

Quaraun: "I am NOT a normal person."

GhoulSpawn: "Boy! You can say that again!"

Quaraun: "I am NOT a normal person."

GhoulSpawn: "Quaraun! Stop taking everything so literally. Words have multiple meanings."

Quaraun: "Ah! You are referring to slang. {p} I do not use slang."

GhoulSpawn: "Yeah, I HAD noticed."

Quaraun: "I use only the correct and proper dictionary definitions of words."

GhoulSpawn: "No, actually, you don't."

Quaraun: "I am a nobleman and I refuse to lower myself to the impetuous, indignity of using slang."

GhoulSpawn: "Okay, so how'do'ya explain ya refusal to use contractions?"

Quaraun: "Contractions are a form of slang, because language is a reflection of thought, and the unnecessary mutilation of perfectly serviceable words in order to save a fraction of a second is evidence of an alarming cultural obsession with haste, and if one can not endure the additional syllable required to say 'cannot' then how can one possibly be expected to endure the vastly greater inconvenience of contemplating mortality, and this is precisely what is wrong with modern civilization, everyone is attempting to shorten everything, shortened words, shortened attention spans, shortened meals, shortened conversations, shortened lives, until eventually the entire species will communicate exclusively through grunts and hand gestures while the dead laugh at us from beneath the soil..."

GhoulSpawn: "You are talking about contractions."

Quaraun: "Yes! The worst invention Humans ever threw upon us! The utter scourge of the world!"

GhoulSpawn: "Worse then Shard fall!"

Quaraun: "YES! to shorten can not can bring about the entire collapse of society!"

GhoulSpawn: "You got from 'can't' to the collapse of civilization."

Quaraun: "It is called reasoning."

GhoulSpawn: "It's called insanity."

Quaraun: "I am not insane."

GhoulSpawn: "Says the Elf who has such a vehement hatred of contractions that his husband has taken up the habit of making triple and quadruple contractions out of words that shouldn't even be contracts, just because he's a sadistic freak who likes to listen to your have an offkilter mindfuck of a spiral into the deepest darkest depth of deranged insanity!"

Quaraun: "Contractions are a form of slang. {p} Contractions implies unintelligent…"

GhoulSpawn: "Better not let Boomie hear you saying that. He loves his contractions. And you're ten times more stupid then anyone else I know, and he's almost as smart as me."

NARRATOR: "Quaraun glared at the Sheep Demon."

GhoulSpawn: "I've never seen no one use as many contractions as he does. I kind of think he goes overboard with it, because he only does it when you're around."

Quaraun: "Yes he does and it is most annoying. Especially when you consider, that he does not use nearly as many contractions when talking to anyone other than me. I am well aware that he does it on purpose just to try to annoy me. And it works. I get so annoyed by it."

GhoulSpawn: "I can see why he's had so many spouses. Many as BlueBeard. More probably. He's not easy to get along with."

Quaraun: "Him being difficult o get along with has nothing to do with his going through spouses so quickly. He is The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley. He marries Elves so he can eat them."

GhoulSpawn: "Says the Elf who is married to him."

Quaraun: "I will have you know that our marriage has lasted three hundred years."

GhoulSpawn: "Only because he hasn't gotten bored with fucking you every ten minutes."

Quaraun: "You are so undignified."

GhoulSpawn: "He's almost as difficult to get along with as you are, y'know?"

NARRATOR: "Quaraun's eye twitched."

GhoulSpawn: "Yeah, I kinda noticed his accent and slang gets thicker and more street cockney when talking to you. {p} Y'know when you're not here, he completely loses that thick Scottish accent of his, and just talks normal to me."

GhoulSpawn: "Like, he's got hardly any accent at all when he's talking to anyone OTHER then you. {p} I kind of think he's just doing the accent just to try to annoy you."

Quaraun: "Well, I am not surprised. He is not really Scottish you know?"

GhoulSpawn: "Isn't he? He always talks about the Shetland Isles. I thought he was from there?"

Quaraun: "He is not even from Scotland!"

GhoulSpawn: "Oh. {p} Uhm… {p} So… {p} Where's he from?"

Quaraun: "He is from Papua New Guinea. Korwai Tribe. But not the Human tribe, mind you. The Phooka tribe, the Faerie tribe. They lived in the Korwai settlement with the Humans, so they got called Korwai as well. So he is not ACTUALLY Kowari either."

Quaraun: "His father was some leader's counsellor or something, it was like a military general sort of position, I think. I do not know exactly."

Quaraun: "Well, anyways, his father was an a high ranking and very important warrior, travelled a lot, a big shot who had to be at all these political diplomatic events and such, and he kept spare wives in all these other countries."

GhoulSpawn: "Spare wives in other places, that's never good. Been there, done that. There are so many husbands who want me dead."

Quaraun: "Yes, well you do not marry any of the wives you sleep with. No, what I am talking about is different."

Quaraun: "Unicorn's father was a bigamist. He was married to all these women but he kept it secret because they were all Humans and Faerie laws forbid Faeries from marrying Humans."

GhoulSpawn: "They do?"

Quaraun: "Yes. Interracial marriage is strictly prohibited in traditional Faerie law. {p} And it still is in laws of the Seelie Court."

GhoulSpawn: "But not UnSeelie?"

Quaraun: "No. Unicorn did away with such laws when he took over. It was one of the first things he did upon becoming King."

Quaraun: "See. Most of Unicorn's spouses have been nonFae. In fact most have been either Elves or Humans"

GhoulSpawn: "How many spouses has he had?"

Quaraun: "Hundreds. Never more than one at once. But he has been King for over two thousand years now, and most of his spouses were Humans, so he had not had many marriages which lasted more than fifty years."

GhoulSpawn: "So, that means he's been married to you longer then anyone else?"

Quaraun: "Yes. We was together thirty years before he died. Separated for a hundred years while I searched for his soul. And together three hundred years, since resurrecting him as a Lich."

Quaraun: "But stop interrupting me."

Quaraun: "His father had all these wives. And one of them was pregnant and went to Papua New Guinea trying to find him. Could not find him. Did not know where to look."

Quaraun: "She ended up in the Sepik River Valley. Flood season. Monsoon season. Gave birth in the wilds. Ended up with the Chimbu Tribe by the big volcano."

Quaraun: "They took her and the baby in and eventually figured out who it was she was looking for. So she finally gets to the Korwai settlement in the Highlands, and he is not happy to see her."

Quaraun: "Because it turns out he has this other wife, who did not know about the wives he had in all these other places."

Quaraun: "Now this was around 2516, because Unicorn was nine years old when the Comet Strike happened and the Comet Strike happened in 2525."

Quaraun: "So, he already had this other wife, but she could not have children so she convinced her husband to keep the secret wife on as their servant so that the infertile wife could raise the baby as her own. But then when Unicorn was a toddler, she got pregnant with her own baby, so suddenly she no longer wanted the illegitimate half-blood baby around…"

GhoulSpawn: "Half-blood?"

Quaraun: "... {p} You are interrupting me again."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm… {p} yeah, because, y'know… {p} uhm… maybe you could clarify what you mean by {i} half-blood {/i}?"

Quaraun: "..."

GhoulSpawn: "I'm really not trying to insult you, Quaraun. {p} It's just that you just called BoomFuzzy an illegitimate half-blood baby, and I'm not sure what exactly that means?"

Quaraun: "His mother was a Human. She was Mongolian. She travelled all the way across Chine and then crossed the ocean, while pregnant, to try to find her baby's father."

GhoulSpawn: "Wait… really? So you're saying BoomFuzzy is not really a Faerie? He's ... half Human? Wait.. what are half-Fae even called?"

Quaraun: "Half Humans are not uncommon among the Fae, given most Faeries are born male, there are simply not enough female Fae to go around, so most male Fae breed with female Humans, it is very common."

Quaraun: " And. Let us see? Changeling is the correct term for a child who has a Human mother and a Faerie father."

GhoulSpawn: "So, BoomFuzzy's a Changeling?"

Quaraun: "Yes."

GhoulSpawn: "I didn't know that. {p} Yeah, I, uhm, I kind of just assumed he was like a full blooded Faerie, what with him being King of the Faeries and all that."

Quaraun: "He was not born royalty. I was born royalty. My father was a regional King of the Moon Elves and his older brother was the Grand High Emperor over all Elves of all types in all regions. I am the last Moon Elf, and possibly the last full blooded Elf. It has been decades since we last encountered anything but half Elves like yourself, and even you half-Elves are rare, so I am losing hope of finding any other pure blooded Elves like myself."

GhoulSpawn: "Y'know, I keep forgetting my mother was an Elf."

Quaraun: "You are royalty, Glinta. Your mother was a Sun Elf princess. I met her once. It was several years before you was born. She would have been the Elf Queen, had she not died so young. Even with your sheep features inherited from your Demon father, you bear an uncanny resemblance to your Elven mother. You focus too much on your ram horns, cloven hooves, and floppy lamb ears, when you should be remembering your royal blood. You were born to be a King in the Seelie Court."

GhoulSpawn: "And here I am a servant in the UnSeelie Court."

Quaraun: "You Glinta, are not a servant, nor should you think of yourself as one. You sleep in the bed of the King."

GhoulSpawn: "I kind of think he sleeps in YOUR bed. {p} I don't think I've ever seen him sleep in his own tent. {p} Heck, half the time he doesn't even set up his own tent."

Quaraun: "Regardless of who owns the bed, you are still sleeping with the King."

GhoulSpawn: "Haha! {p} Quaraun, you act like sleeping with the King makes me part of the family. It just makes me his male prostitute."

NARRATOR: "Speaking of King Gwallmaiic, Lich Lord of Fire Mountain, Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, King of the UnSeelie Court… he happened to walk into the tent at that exact moment…"

BoomFuzzy: "Ghoulie, did you know that not stabbing someone, when you really want to, is a sign of successful adulting? Hmm?"

GhoulSpawn: "Are you saying you want to stab me?"

BoomFuzzy: "You said it not me. {p} However, if ya wanted to get technical about it, I feel like wringing your neck would be very conducive to my mental health."

GhoulSpawn: "I think you're using the word conducive incorrectly."

BoomFuzzy: "I think you're proving my point. But I'll ignore it for the moment."

GhoulSpawn: “You ignore everything.”

BoomFuzzy: “No. I ignore YOU. For the sake of my Elf. {p} My Elf likes you. I tolerate you on his behalf. And you talk back to me constantly.”

GhoulSpawn: “I don’t talk...”

BoomFuzzy: “You are doing it right now.”

NARRATOR: “GhoulSpawn fell silent. A rare thing indeed.”

Quaraun: “Glinta, it will serve you well to learn proper manners, especially when addressing your leader.”

GhoulSpawn: “He is your King not mine. I don’t belong here. I want to go home.”

Quaraun: “Glinta, this is your home now. We love you and want you to stay.”

GhoulSpawn: “He hates me.”

BoomFuzzy: "I am the Alpha. Neither hating you nor loving you is in my job description.”

GhoulSpawn: “I am so sick of all of this. You are an Alpha. He’s an Omega. I don’t even know what that means. No body talks like that where I come from!”

BoomFuzzy: “You don't have Alphas where you come from. I can tell by how you act around me. {p} The bull shit you think you can get away with. You are not Quaraun. You do not have the same allowances he does."

BoomFuzzy: "He has saved my life, time and time again. Many times before he knew who I was. and many times more after he did. {p} And always much to the detriment of his own health, his own safety. {p} I trust him, to never hurt me."

BoomFuzzy: "I trust him to never become a traitor. But I have no reason to trust you. You are a coward. To my mind, you are a liability. You are mentally weak. In spite of your massive size and physical strength, I wouldn't trust you to lift a finger to help anyone but yourself."

BoomFuzzy: "But my Elf trusts you. I don't know why, nor do I ask. He personally requested you to be his lab assistant. For all his whining and pettiness, he's never asked for anything from me. He knows his place. {p} Goat, you are only here, in my Court, because HE asks you to be."

GhoulSpawn: "I'm a Sheep."

BoomFuzzy: "Aye. And stupid like one too. For all your book smarts and high intellect, ya ain't got no street smarts, ya ain't got no common sense. And ya don't know enough to not talk back to your Alpha."

GhoulSpawn: "I do not understand your Alpha hierarchy. We don't use it where I come from. And I'm an America. We don't have a king."

BoomFuzzy: "Your America is gone. It ceased to exist twenty thousand years ago. Look around you. This place, where we are right now. You would have called it Boston. {p} See anything you recognize? {p} Your world is two miles deep, below the roots of these thousand year old trees."

BoomFuzzy: "Your world is gone. if we can find a way to send you back, we will. {p} But I don't think it's possible. And for the time being you are stuck with us. You get leniency because I realize you don't understand your situation. {p} You're an Alpha. For some reason your Alpha soul has been repressed."

BoomFuzzy: "You're a powerful Alpha, I can smell it. But your soul is broken, crushed, repressed, so you act submissive like a Beta. But some day that Alpha in you is going to wake up, and I want you on my side when it does. {p} So I grant my Elf his request and let him keep you as his apprentice."

BoomFuzzy: "Don't take for granted, the fact that you sleep in my bed. {p} Cross me, and I won't think twice about making a shepherd's pie with your your flesh as the lamb chops."

Quaraun: "Unicorn? Are there any hamburgers made yet?"

BoomFuzzy: "There are. {p} You want one?"

Quaraun: "Yes. {p} They smell delicious. Can I have an entire plate?"

GhoulSpawn: "???"

BoomFuzzy: "You most certainly can. {p} I'll have one of my Goblins bring it in for you."

Quaraun: "Thank you! {p} Love you!"

BoomFuzzy: "Love you too, Love. Do you need anything else before I leave? Or you good here gossiping about me with the Goat?"

GhoulSpawn: "I'm a sheep."

BoomFuzzy: "Be glad you're not a hamburger, right now."

GhoulSpawn: "???...???"

Quaraun: "I'm good. {p} Oh! No. wait! {p} The kits have never had brains. They are very excited to taste their first brains..."

GhoulSpawn: "???"

Quaraun: "Unicorn? Are there any brains ready to eat yet?"

BoomFuzzy: "Not yet, Love. {p} It takes a few days to make 'em the way you like 'em. They have to soak in the marinade at least two or three days."

GhoulSpawn: "I'm confused..."

Quaraun: "About what?"

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... about..."

BoomFuzzy: "I don't have time to chit chat. {p} I told the kids I was going to meet them at the judging tents."

BoomFuzzy: "I just came in to let you know I leaving the Goblins to run the food truck and heading to the food tents."

BoomFuzzy: "So if you need me, that's where I'll be for the next hour or two. And about a dozen or so of the kids are going to be there with me."

BoomFuzzy: "I should have the afternoon off, we can do something after that."

NARRATOR: "Without waiting for an answer, the King exited the tent, leaving Quaraun and GhoulSpawn alone again."

NARRATOR: "A few minutes later one of the King's Goblin souse chefs came trotting in, carrying a giant plate of hamburgers and gave it to Quaraun, who immediately set out to greedily eating them."

GhoulSpawn: "??? {p} ... uhm... {p} Quaraun?"

Quaraun: "Yep, that is my name."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... yeah... uhm... {p} Can I ask you a question?"

Quaraun: "Always, Glinta. I am here to teach you our ways."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... yeah... okay... {p} uhm... {p} I thought you were a vegetarian?"

Quaraun: "I am. {p} I am an Elf. {p} I never eat animals."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... do you not know what hamburger is?"

NARRATOR: "Quaraun stopped eating. {p} Stared at GhoulSpawn. {p} Stared at the hamburger. {p} Stared back at GhoulSpawn."

Quaraun: "Glinta, we are in a zombie apocalypse, and I am The Pink Necromancer!"

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... {p} ??? {p} Okay? {p} But does that answer my question?"

Quaraun: "I think... {p} Yes... {p} Yes, it does.”

GhoulSpawn: “...”

Quaraun: “...”

GhoulSpawn: “Uhm... how... how exactly does that answer my question?”

Quaraun: “How does it not?”

GhoulSpawn: “I asked you if you knew what hamburgers were made out of. You who are a vegetarian, a very vocal animal rights activist vegetarian, and are right now scarffing down a dozen hamburgers, that BoomFuzzy just got done grilling out there.”

Quaraun: “Are the vendors gone?”

NARRATOR: “GhoulSpawn got up, looked out the ten flap, then returned to sit beside Quaraun again.”

GhoulSpawn: “Yep. Don’t see ‘em out here no more.”

Quaraun: “Well, then, that’s that.”

NARRATOR: “Quaraun returned to eating his plate of hamburgers.”

GhoulSpawn: “What’s what? Quaraun, you’re not making sense.”

Quaraun: “Where do you suppose the vendors went?”

GhoulSpawn: “I don’t know. Back to their sales booths?”

Quaraun: “You silly billy goat.”

GhoulSpawn: “I’m a Sheep.”

Quaraun: “It has not sunk in yet that we live in a zombie apocalypse, has it? {p} You do not understand what that means do you?"

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... yeah... I keep forgetting I'm not in the 1970s anymore."

Quaraun "You are twenty-thousand years into the future of your 1970s era. {p} There are only seven million Humans left on the planet."

Quaraun: "The world is ruled by a Lich King. And we UnDead total twenty one billion."

GhoulSpawn: "Yes... that... that takes getting used to. {p} But I don't think it answers my question."

NARRATOR: "Quaraun stared blankly at GhoulSpawn, though his cold dead eyes, waiting as if he expected the Uruisg to understand what he had implied. But seeing that GhoulSpawn was oblivious to the norms of a zombie apocalypse he spoke again."

Quaraun: “Glinta, have you no understanding what happened to you when HellBorne attacked?”

GhoulSpawn: “No really. Most of the end there was kind of a blur. I think I got hit on the head pretty hard.”

Quaraun: “You were HellBorne’s apprentice, yes?”

GhoulSpawn: “I was. Until you killed him. And took everything he had, his lighthouse, his bio dome, including me, his apprentice.”

Quaraun: “Are you disappointed by this? {p} Were you not trying to escape from him?”

GhoulSpawn: “He was The Summoner of Darkness. That’s what he called himself. Believed he was going to usher in The Darkness.”

Quaraun: “And I am The Darkness he summoned.”

GhoulSpawn: “I know.”

Quaraun: “I do not belong in this world either, you know. None of us belong here. {p} HellBorne built portals all over the place. He was a powerful wizard. But not powerful enough. He knew how to open portals. {p} He brought you here from you timeline, and us here from ours.”

Quaraun: “He was going to use you to kill us. Except you can not kill what is already dead. He did not account for that. {p} Nor did he account for you turning on him and trying to save my life.”

GhoulSpawn: “What he was doing was wrong. He had to be stopped.”

Quaraun: “That is why Unicorn does not trust you. HellBorne trusted you and you became a traitor who turned on him. And he killed you for it.”

GhoulSpawn: “...”

Quaraun: “You spent a long time in The Swamp of Death. {p} I brought you back from here, just like I bought The Elf eater back from there.”

GhoulSpawn: “What does this have to do with hamburgers?”

Quaraun: “HellBorne was The Summoner of The Darkness, and I am The Darkness he summoned. {p} Before I can figure out how to send how to send you back to your correct timeline, I must figure out how to send, myself, my King, and his UnSeelie Court back to our correct timeline. {p} You are from the 1970s, Maine. I am from 800s Persia. And King Gwallmaiic is from 2525 Scotland. {p} And here all of us sit in 39,999 Boston.”

GhoulSpawn: “Okay. But what does this have to do with hamburgers?”

Quaraun: “Do you know why people of this time, referred to me as The Darkness?”

GhoulSpawn: “No.”

Quaraun: “When I was a child, only three years old, an older child from the Moon Elf Village, of Ivujivik, bullied me. {p} I turned around, pointed my finger, and said one word ‘DIE!’, and he very obediently did. {p} All the Elves became terrified of me. My father tried to kill me. He said I was Thullid possessed.”

GhoulSpawn: “Aren’t you?”

Quaraun: “Yes. But no one knew that then. {p} Several more Elflings from the village, went missing over the years after. I was blamed. {p} When I was 9, he tried to kill me again. My mother tried to stop him, and the rock that was meant for my head, shattered her skull instead.”

Quaraun: “But there was no brain in her head. A white JellyFish came out instead. {p} He went mad. Ripped my mother apart, then as the JellyFish tried to crawl away. Then he turned on the JellyFish, stamped her into the ground with his feet, till she was nothing but a pile of goo.”

Quaraun: “I saw the whole thing. Then he turned on me. About to do to me, what he had done to her. But The High Priest ZooLock entered the room just then, saw what was going on, grabbed me and ran. He fled the country, crossed the ocean, crossed the desert, all the way to Persia.”

Quaraun: “Then he changed my name from Rapunzel to Quaraun, made me pretend to be a boy, told people I was his son, and raised me with the Wizards of the Di’Jinn Order. And lived with them for decades. Until I was 75 years old, and a herd of black Shetland Ponies, arrived across the Desert of the Di’Jinn. Led by a tiny purple Unicorn with a gleaming silver horn. Phookas in disguise. The Elf Eater and his Army.”

Quaraun: “Humans from the marshes, tried to catch the Unicorn. They put out traps made of silver nets and one day they caught him. Broke his legs, sawed off his horn, and left him to die in the Tigris River. I nursed him back to health, and he swore he’d never eat me, the Elf who saved his life.”

Quaraun: “But then the Di’Jinn found out, and one day, they went down to the river before me and they killed all the horses. The Unicorn was still incapacitated by his injuries, and blind from old age. They tortured him. But kept him alive until I arrived. They wanted to kill him while I watched. But they did not know the obediently dead Elf children from so long ago.”

Quaraun: “I arrived at the river with food for the horse, but all the horses were dead, and the Unicorn lay in the sand with his throat slit and the Di’Jinn standing over him. Laughing. And telling me I was a fool, for being an Elf and helping The Elf Eater.”

Quaraun: “They raised their daggers to strike the final blow and kill the Unicorn. And I told them to die. And they did. Every last one of them. Except for ZooLock, who was not with them. They not only died, they vaporized. Their flesh turned to ash. Their blackened bones crumbled in the sand.”

Quaraun: “The Unicorn was terrified. And dying. I took him back to my tent, and mended his wounds. And after he recovered, I let him go. I was a female virgin then. According to legend, only the tears of a virgin can heal a Unicorn, and only a virgin can tame a Unicorn.”

GhoulSpawn: “That was BoomFuzzy.”

Quaraun: “Yes. It was several years before I saw him again. Gibedon, his second in command, was a traitor. He lusted for the throne. Married the King, then plotted to kill him and crown himself king.”

NARRATOR: “Quaraun pulled a severed head from his pink silk bag of holding.”

Quaraun: “But I found out what Gibedon was planning, and I loved the Unicorn, I was not going to let any one kill him. So I cut off Gibedon’s head.”

Quaraun: “When BoomFuzzy died, it was by his own hand. Three months after Gibedon’s death. BoomFuzzy loved Gibedon. BoomFuzzy was devastated by his husband’s treachery. He had been so in love with Gibedon, that he had not seen any of the warning signs of Gibedon’s plot to kill him.”

Quaraun: “BoomFuzzy was still alive when I found him. He made a corrosive poison and put it in his own food. I do not think he realized what it would do to him, or how long his would take him to die. It dissolved his organs. His heart. His lungs. He drowned in his own blood. But it took it three days to happened. He died in agony. I could not save him. He died in my arms.”

Quaraun: “I froze his body, then went looking for a way to bring him back. Every where I went, every one told me, magic was not real. But I knew t was. Because I knew if I could think people dead, I could think people alive too.”

Quaraun: “On the one hundredth anniversary of his death, the Elves all gathered for a big celebration. A huge party, celebrating one hundred years without the Elf Eater. His death brought them so much joy and it filled me with so much hate. And then it happened...”

Quaraun: “Shard Fall. The first one. Huge chunks of blue crystal, fell from the sky, and every Elf at the party, was skewered by them. Every Elf with a frozen crystal stabbed straight through their heart. And one went through BoomFuzzy’s ice casket freezer. And while they killed every one else. The crystal shard brought him back to life.”

Quaraun: “And then, all the dead rose up. Every man, woman, child, bird, beast, insect, even the dead trees walked out of the swamps, dead rose snapped to life out of vases, dinosaurs fossils walked out of museums, as did mummies, and they all came to me.”

Quaraun: “Every dead thing to ever die, twenty one billion dead things, woke up, and followed me.”

Quaraun: “And for the longest time, I did not know why.”

Quaraun: “I ate the Moon Elves. Every last one. I do not know why I ate them. It was not part of the plan. But seeing them there. So dead. There brains oozing out, so tasty. I ate them. And then I left the Moon Elf Village, and became a wandering merchant. {p} And every where I went the dead followed.”

Quaraun: “Every last Moon Elf died that day. All of them. {p} Do you know what that means?”

GhoulSpawn: “... {p} uhm {p} ... {p} that you’re insane like everyone says?”

Quaraun: “ALL the Moon Elves died that day. But only one walked out of the village. Me. After eating all the rest. And from that day forward, all the dead follow me. Every where I go.”

GhoulSpawn: “Uhm... sooo... {p} What does this have to do with hamburgers?”

Quaraun: “You wanted to know how I, a vegetarian came to eat hamburgers.”

GhoulSpawn: “Yep. That was my question. Still not sure how anything you just said, answered that though.”

Quaraun: “You are assuming that these grilled patties, slathered in ketchup, are made of cows. Yes?”

GhoulSpawn: “That’s usually what hamburgers are made out of, yeah.”

Quaraun: “These hamburgers are not made out of cows.”

GhoulSpawn: “Then what are they made out of?”

NARRATOR: “Quaraun glanced at the tent’s door flap where GhoulSpawn had just checked to see if the vendors were still tied up to BoomFuzzy’s chopping block, then shook his head.”

Quaraun: “Glinta, do you not know what I am?”

GhoulSpawn: “You’re a Moon Elf.”

Quaraun: “Yes, but the Moon Elves went extinct during the first Shard Fall. {p} ALL the Moon Elves died that day. {p} Glinta, what is my husband?”

GhoulSpawn: “A psychotic Faerie Chef turned King who likes to shapeshift into a Unicorn”

Quaraun: "Ah. I think I see the problem. {p} Glinta, I am the Sacred Pink JellyFish. I am a Thullid who lives in the hollowed out skull of this dead Elf's corpse. {p} ALL the Moon Elves are dead. Glinta. ALL of them. Even me."

GhoulSpawn: "..."

Quaraun: "My husband is the Lich King. That means he is dead too. Glinta. We are both dead. I am dead. My husband is dead. {p} We are zombies. Both of us. {p} We eat Humans. Because we are zombies, and eating Humans is what zombies do."

GhoulSpawn: "..."

Quaraun: "I am also a necromancer and I have summoned millions of zombies in a massive horde, to surround the entire outer perimeter of this region. {p} No one who enters the fairgrounds is able to leave."

Quaraun: "They will try of course, but my zombies have every road blocked off. And Boomie's Goblins are waiting. {p} No one who enters the fairgrounds is able to leave."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... so... {p} what... what... {p} What's the hamburger made out of again?"

Quaraun: "Humans."

GhoulSpawn: "Humans?"

Quaraun: "Humans. {p} Everyone who left the fairgrounds last night. {p} They're all dead."

GhoulSpawn: "Everyone?"

NARRATOR: "Quaraun went back to eating his hamburgers."

Quaraun: "Every last one. {p} There is such a huge turn out this year. {p} One of the best harvests we have ever had."

GhoulSpawn: "You're... eating... Human-burgers?"

Quaraun: "Bingo! {p} See? You can be taught in our ways."

GhoulSpawn: "You're cannibals?"

Quaraun: "Oh! No! I never eat Elves. {p} Well, not any more. I did eat the Moon Elves, but that was special circumstances."

GhoulSpawn: "What about Boomie?"

Quaraun: "What about him?"

GhoulSpawn: "Is he a cannibal?"

Quaraun: "He is The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley! {p} He is legendary for eating Elves. But he is not himself an Elf. He does not eat his own kind. He never eats Faeries."

GhoulSpawn: "But I thought... {p} He said... {p} Uhm... {p} He said it was just one family of Elves and there was like reasons and stuff..."

Quaraun: "He told you what he did BEFORE he died! {p} BEFORE he died, yes, it was just one family of Elves."

GhoulSpawn: "Oh... uhm..."

Quaraun: "Glinta, have you heard nothing either of us has ever said to you? {p} You have been living with us for three years now."

GhoulSpawn: "Has it been three years?"

Quaraun: "Yes. HellBorne killed you three years ago."

GhoulSpawn: "Killed me? {p} ... {p} I'm not dead."

Quaraun: "That is what we all think in the beginning. {p} When I ate the Moon Elves, I did not know I was dead. And after I ate them, I wandered with Shambling Dead for years, until I fell into The Swamp of Death, and BoomFuzzy was there and helped me to awaken from the mindless shambling.”

Quaraun: “Now I live again. I walk among the living, my flesh not rotted, my skin still beautiful. We are the living dead. Me. Unicorn. You. We are different from those long dead, because each of the three of us was flash frozen immediately up taking out last breath, and for some reason, whatever it is that causes other zombies to rot, become maggot infested, and have no will or thoughts of their own, for some reason, freezing immediately upon death, alters the zombification, makes us Liches.”

GhoulSpawn: “You’re saying I’m a Lich? Like, I knew BoomFuzzy was a Lich, and FarDarrig, and Harvey, and Satan Claws, and I think I kind of suspected you was some part Lich or something, but... uhm... you’re saying I’m a Lich too?”

Quaraun: “Yes. A Lich is a zombie that retains its life like appearance and can walk among the living undetected. {p} It is why I can not let you go out there with the zombie herds. {p} You will become a shambling mindless undead, like they are."

Quaraun: "I can not let that happen. {p} You are special."

GhoulSpawn: "I am?"

Quaraun: "Yes!"

Quaraun: "The High Priest ZooLock was there when you died, and he implanted a JellyFish in your skull seconds after HellBorne killed you. {p} He was quick enough that your brain activity was revived and absorbed by the JellyFish."

Quaraun: "You are a Thullid, just like me. {p} And thus you can never leave."

GhoulSpawn: "I'm dead?"

Quaraun: "Yes, Glinta. {p} We all are. {p} Everyone in The UnSeelie Court is dead. {p} You would not be able to travel with us if you were alive. {p} Why do you think the zombie herds travel behind us? {p} We are leading them into the Human settlements."

GhoulSpawn: "You're dead?"

Quaraun: "Glinta, I just told you. {p} I am the Sacred Pink JellyFish. {p} I am a Thullid who lives in the hollowed out skull of this dead Elf's corpse."

Quaraun: "The Elf named Quaraun died centuries ago. {p} I wear his body because he is beautiful. {p} Look at him! He is beautiful!"

GhoulSpawn: "You're a zombie... you're some kind of mutated intelligent zombie, wearing a dead Elf's skin as though he were a fur coat."

Quaraun: "YES! {p} FINALLY! You understand!"

GhoulSpawn: "That BoomFuzzy's also a zombie?"

Quaraun: "Glinta, do you not know what a Lich is?"

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... I... uhm...oh... wait... I used to play table top role playing games, and Liches are usually wizards who commit suicide during a spell ritual that turned them into super intelligent zombies."

GhoulSpawn: "A Lich is a hyper intelligent zombie. {p} BoomFuzzy's a Lich. {p} That means BoomFuzzy is a zombie. {p} Why didn't I ever notice that before?"

Quaraun: "Glinta, I am The Pink Necromancer! All UnDead follow me! {p} My BoomFuzzy the Unicorn is King Gwallmaiic, Lich King of Fire Mountain. Liches are the Lords of the zombies. Ruler of the zombies."

GhoulSpawn: "Sooo... He's a zombie."

Quaraun: "A very intelligent zombie."

GhoulSpawn: "And the Goblins?"

Quaraun: "EVERYONE is the UnSeelie Court is DEAD. {p} You can not become a part of the UnSeelie Court UNLESS you first DIE!"

GhoulSpawn: "So, all the Goblins are zombies too?"

Quaraun: "Yes."

GhoulSpawn: "What exactly is the definition of a zombie?"

Quaraun: "A zombie is a dead thing that eats Human flesh, and especially has a taste for Human brain. Mmmm. Luscious."

NARRATOR: "GhoulSpawn was trying to think of both how to process this information and what questions he should think of to ask next, but just then Quaraun stood up and announced..."

Quaraun: "I need to pee."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm…okay? {p} Is there a reason why you are telling me? Instead of, y'know, just getting up and going to the bathroom, like a normal person?"

Quaraun: "Do I look like a normal person to you?"

GhoulSpawn: "You're right. {p} Silly me for forgetting you, of all people, weren't normal, especially after just telling me you are a zombie."

Quaraun: "What is that supposed mean?"

GhoulSpawn: "I'm just agreeing with you, Quaraun."

Quaraun: "I hate Human bathrooms. {p} Plus I always have such a strong desire to kill every Human I see and just devour their brains, and we are trying to keep a low profile."

Quaraun: "Do you have any idea how hard it is to capture Humans once they realize their are zombies in their midsts? {p} They start driving spears and bullets through our brains, like they think that's going to do anything..."

GhoulSpawn: "Won't it?"

Quaraun: "Of course not. I do not have a brain, remember? {p} And neither, dear boy, do you. {p} You are one of us wither you want to believe it or not."

GhoulSpawn: "So all those times you said I couldn't go outside of the camp because it's a zombie apocalypse and I'd get killed... {p} you weren't talking about zombies eating me..."

GhoulSpawn: "You were suggesting Humans were going to shoot me in the head with a silver bullet?"

Quaraun: "Yes!"

GhoulSpawn: "But, if it doesn't hurt you, why would it hurt me?"

Quaraun: "Glinta, you've only been with us three years, the jellyfish has not had time to fully absorb ALL of your brain yet. {p} It takes about ten years for the process to complete."

Quaraun: "It was WHY I had to wait ten years before killing the first four children. {p} It was my first time trying to nurture a polyp, and they did not integrate into the Elflings' brains properly. {p} I loved my children, but I loved BoomFuzzy more."

GhoulSpawn: “You killed them. That’s what everyone says. You murdered your wife and children.”

Quaraun: “She was not my wife. She was my sister. The wedding was a scam. And I was a prisoner, locked in a tower, growing out my hair, so I could escape. In love with the blind Faerie King, who climbed my hair to reach the tower room at the top.”

Quaraun: “The stories people tell is a lie. Rapunzel in her tower. She was me. I was her!It is why I changed my name. What do the stories say? The stories say my mother stole radishes from a witch, and I was an only child, that the witch killed my parents and locked me in a tower. Then cut out the eyes of my prince charming. Then banished me to a desert, where I gave birth twins.”

Quaraun: “ {i} *sigh* {/i} “

Quaraun: “The truth, The Grand High Emperor favoured me and made me his heir. I was to be Queen over all the Elves.”

Quaraun: “My father shaved my head, locked me in the tower, had my sister pretend to be the heir, forced me to pretend to be a younger brother, forced us to marry, cut off my breasts so I would look more male, sliced my penis lengthwise in two so I could produce an heir out of their control, then her haram of five lovers were sent to the tower to rape me every night, until I became pregnant.”

Quaraun: “The first pregnancy was twin girls. Ruby and Sapphire. The second pregnancy was twin boys, Opal and Diamond.”

GhoulSpawn: “The four zombie children who follow us.”

Quaraun: “Yes. Ruby. The zombie child who made a deal with The RiverBoat Man Woman of Stix. She was the first zombie.”

Quaraun: “I loved my children. Mother loves all her children. Mother’s ever loving tentacles yearn for all her children.”

Quaraun: “My father and that vile evil she-Elf who locked me in that tower and hire those Elves to rape me. Imprisoned my whole pregnancy and then they took my children so as they were born. {p} That is the true story Rapunzel. Not the stupid fairy tales.”

Quaraun: “The pregnancy caused my hair to grow. It just grew and grew. Fourteen feet long. I’ve never cut it since. I loved my children. I did not want to kill them.”

Quaraun: “She took my babies and pretended they were hers, pretended she gave birth, raised them like they were hers. Flaunted them in front of me. Convinced everyone in the village that she was their mother and I was their father.”

Quaraun: “And she hated them. Despised them. Used them to spite me. Let me help in their care, so she could hurt me, my raising them to hate BoomFuzzy, to curse his name, to sing songs in praises of his death.”

Quaraun: “I could not be that person any more. After the first Shard Fall, I never used the name Rapunzel again. And I’ve lived as a male ever since.”

Quaraun: “I will never be Rapunzel again. She was weak. She not have the emotional strength to stand up for herself. I am not her any more. And I will never again be taken advantage of.”

Quaraun: “And I will never again hurt another child. {p} I regret so much killing them.”

Quaraun: “I could not take i any more. On the eve of the celebration of BoomFuzzy’s death, I gave them the same poisoned chocolates BoomFuzzy had used to kill himself, and when the poison overcame them with sleep, I cut out their hearts, before the poison had a chance to dissolve their organs as it had done BoomFuzzy’s.”

Quaraun: "I had to kill them and start over, which was terrible, because I loved those ones. They were so perfect.”

Quaraun: “I tried to bring them back. But they came back as rotting maggot filled shamblers. {p} They were not flawlessly lifelike and intelligent like my Unicorn. {p} I did not know about the flash freezing with Shard Fall Crystals back then."

GhoulSpawn: "You're like Dr. Frankingstien."

Quaraun: "YES! {p} You get it! {p} I took so much inspiration from Dr. Frankinstien's notes. {p} His secretary, Mary, was very thorough in her note taking."

GhoulSpawn: "You don't know that was a fiction novel, do you?"

Quaraun: "But, H.P.Lovecraft was much better at taking notes."

GhoulSpawn: "I'll bet. {p} I suppose it wouldn't do any good for me to tell you he was a fiction author too."

Quaraun: "You are my finest creation since Unicorn. {p} We MUST protect you from the Humans. {p} They must never damage your perfect brain or all my work will be for nothing!"

GhoulSpawn: "I can defiantly see why every one calls you Quaraun {i} the Insane {/i} instead of just Quaraun or even The Pink Necromancer."

Quaraun: "I need to pee"

GhoulSpawn: "Okay. {p} Is there something you want me to do about it? {p} I don't get why you are telling me. {p} Do you need help with it or something?"

Quaraun: "I need to pee, and I am so hungry for Human brains right now. {p} I need you to go with me to make sure I do not blow our cover by eating a Human on my way to the bathroom."

GhoulSpawn: "Okay. But, I'm not sure what good I'll be."

Quaraun: "Humans ask questions."

GhoulSpawn: "Yep, they do that for sure."

Quaraun: "You are not understanding me."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm… {p} … {p} ??? {p} … {p} ...okay? {p} I kind of don't know whatcha want me to understand."

Quaraun: "Come with me. {p} You shall see."

NARRATOR: "A few moments later, Quaraun and GhoulSpawn stood outside the campground's public restrooms. {p} There were two wooden buildings. {p} One marked {i} Bucks {/i} , the other marked {i} Does {/i} ."

NARRATOR: "Each building looked to have four or five toilets as was typical of restroom buildings at most campgrounds found throughout New England. {p} Between the two buildings stood a little guard house. A fairgrounds security guard sat in a lawn chair casually reading a book."

Quaraun: "See?"

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm… I'm not sure what it is I'm suppose to be noticing here. {p} It just looks like an ordinary rest stop. {p} What are you wanting me to see?"

Quaraun: "Watch."

NARRATOR: "Quaraun walked up to a bathroom door, and just as he reached for the doorknob, immediately the security grabbed his arm."

Officer: "You can not go in there."

Quaraun: "Why not?"

Officer: "This is the woman's bathroom. {p} Men's is over there."

Quaraun: "I need THIS bathroom."

Officer: "I'm sorry sir, but there are rules…"

Quaraun: "Fuck your rules. {p} I need to pee and I want to eat your brain! {p} Unhand me you filthy Beta!"

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm…Quaraun? {p} Maybe just use the other bathroom?"

Quaraun: "Can you see the problem, NOW?"

GhoulSpawn: "I…uhm… yeah… but isn't the solution just to use the other bathroom?"

Quaraun: "Men's bathrooms are not equipped with the hygiene products that I need. {p} I have not had bottom surgery. I still have a vagina! I need the hygiene products in the female bathroom. {p} They only put them in the women's bathroom."

Officer: "...???... {p} What's going on here?"

GhoulSpawn: "He's pregnant."

Officer: "What… {p} how… {p} what?"

GhoulSpawn: "It's complicated. {p} Uhm... damn is is more complicated then I thought."

Officer: "You transgender?"

Quaraun: "I am not…"

GhoulSpawn: "He's intersex."

Quaraun: "That's not…"

GhoulSpawn: "It's the easiest way to explain it to a Human, in words they will actually understand."

Quaraun: "I am an Omega."

Officer: "What's that?"

GhoulSpawn: "Hermaphrodite. {p} It means hermaphrodite. He means he's a…"

Officer: "So, what, you like, got both…"

Quaraun: "Dick, balls, vagina, uterus, ovaries, and right now, at least a half dozen kits kicking my bladder."

Officer: "Kits? What's a kit?"

GhoulSpawn: "Babies. {p} A whole litter of them. He’s like a JellyFish Rabbit Hybrid thing so he gives birth to huge litters of kits, like a rabbit does... {p}... boy am I realizing how crazy I sound saying that... what kind of a world am I even in?

Officer: “He's pregnant…”

GhoulSpawn: “Yes.”

Officer: “Are you the father?”

GhoulSpawn: “God, I hope not. His husband tried to cut my head off last time I got him pregnant!”

Officer: “You got him pregnant before?”

GhoulSpawn: “Yes.”

Officer: “And his husband tried to kill you because of it?”

GhoulSpawn: “Yes.”

Officer: “And you didn’t learn your lesson, so he might be pregnant by you again?”

GhoulSpawn: “Uhm... {p} ... {p} you’re right. I’m stupid. He’s insane...”

Quaraun: “I am not insane.”

GhoulSpawn: “...and his husband’s crazy! I don’t know why I’m sleeping with either of them. What is wrong with me?”

Quaraun: “Alpha pheromones do that. Everyone wants to have sex with my husband. He has the most aphrodisiac pheromones of any Alpha on the planet...”

Officer: “What’s an Alpha?”

Quaraun: “...and he has two penises.”

GhoulSpawn: “... uhm… Quaraun? Do you know who the father is?"

Quaraun: "Possibly you. These kits kick like they got hooves."

GhoulSpawn: "Great. BoomFuzzy's gonna kill me."

Quaraun: "You sound horrified."

GhoulSpawn: "I am. {p} BoomFuzzy hasn't forgiven me yet for the last time I got you pregnant."

Quaraun: "Maybe the solution would be to stop getting me pregnant."

GhoulSpawn: "You say that like it's all my fault."

Quaraun: "If you got me pregnant, then it is most certainly, fully and entirely all your fault."

GhoulSpawn: "It takes two people to get one person pregnant, Quaraun."

Quaraun: "Which is why I do not know if you or Unicorn is the father. You both like being in me at the same time. And that is three penises inside of me at once, because he has got two penises…"

GhoulSpawn: "I…uhm…no…that's not what I meant, Quaraun …uhm… do you really not know how it is you keep getting pregnant?"

Quaraun: "If it ain't your fault it is Unicorn's fault."

GhoulSpawn: "What about you?"

Quaraun: "What about me?"

GhoulSpawn: "You don't see how your being pregnant is your own fault?"

Quaraun: "Why would it be my fault?"

GhoulSpawn: "You don't understand how it is you keep getting pregnant do you?"

Quaraun: "I understand that you and Unicorn both spend every possible waking minute you can find sticking your dicks inside of me, all three of them, and I end up pregnant every time you do."

Quaraun: "I also understand that I need to pee out that very same hole and am going to pee on these steps if this Human does not let me go inside to pee in the toilet."

NARRATOR: "Soon, on the other side of fairgrounds, the pickle judging was going on…"

BoomFuzzy: "You want a pickle to judge!?! {p} I'll give ya a pickle to judge! {p} I'll give ya two pickles to judge…"

Child/Daughter 1: "Daddy, NO!"

Child/Son 1: "No. We don't flash the judges. Keep your kilt on!"

Child/Daughter 2: "You promised. Remember? We talked about this before we arrived."

Child/Son 2: "You promised you wouldn't flash the judges this year."

BoomFuzzy: "FUCK THEM! {p} Fuck all the fucking Humans in this fucking festival to fucking Hell! {p} I'll make sure every one of you is fucking sandwich before the end of the day!"

NARRATOR: "Just then, Quaraun and GhoulSpawn arrived at the judging tent…"

GhoulSpawn: "But if you are a zombie, then how can you get pregnant, and are your kids zombies, and how do you need to pee, like why would zombies need to pee..."

GhoulSpawn: "!!! {p} Uh oh! {p} I hear BoomFuzzy yelling."

Child/Daughter 3: "Papa! {p} Daddy's having a fit."

Quaraun: "I can hear that. {p} What's going on?"

Child/Son 3: "They won't let us enter any of the food contests."

Quaraun: "Why not?"

Child/Daughter 4: "They said on account of him being a professional chef, owning his own restaurant, having his TV cooking shows, having all those Michelin stars, and writing cookbooks..."

Child/Son 4: "...and being here as a retailer with his food truck, makes him overqualified…"

Child/Daughter 5: "They said it's only for amateur home chefs, not professional chefs."

Child/Son 5: "And at first he was like okay with that, and he started gathering up his entries, was just gonna take them back to the food truck and sell them..."

Child/Daughter 6: "...but then they took all our stuff out of the judging too…"

Quaraun: "Yours? Why yours? What did you do?"

Child/Son 6: "Nothing! I swear! We didn't do nothing!"

Child/Daughter 7: "They said on account of us being his children, we don't count as amateur home cooks because we all had him to professionally train us how to cook."

Child/Son 7: "Even though ain't none of us had any schooling..."

Child/Daughter 8: "They said it don't matter on account of him being the one who taught us how to cook, they said it counts as professional level schooling."

Child/Son 8: "Yeah, and he just had a total meltdown on them, because he said it was unfair for them to punish us just because he's our father."

Child/Son 1: "Papa, Daddy's mooning the judges, do something before Daddy gets arrested again."

Quaraun: "I shall pee on them!"

GhoulSpawn: "Wait, what, no! Get back here! {p} Quaraun, you can't pee on the judges!"

Quaraun: "Yes, I can. {p} I most certainly am able to. {p} My bladder is already full again."

GhoulSpawn: "No, that's not what I meant! You'll both get arrested again! {p} Quaraun I don't want a spend another night breaking you two out of jail again, I didn't get any sleep last night because of it!"

NARRATOR: “Just then, BoomFuzzy noticed Quaraun and GhoulSpawn had arrived.”

BoomFuzzy: “Love, why are ya covered in blood?”

Quaraun: “I ate a police officer.”

BoomFuzzy: “Ah. Refused to give you ya moon fruit back?”

Quaraun: “No. Refused to let me pee in the woman’s toilet.”

GhoulSpawn: “I tried to stop him.”

BoomFuzzy: “How? By hiding under a rock? We are supposed to be keeping a low profile here.”

BoomFuzzy: "Love, gather up the children, we'll take them to the arcades after I drop this food back off at my food truck."

Narrator: "Quaraun was already fussing over the children, so had not needed to be told."

BoomFuzzy: "Ghoulie, help me load this stuff back into the crates."

GhoulSpawn: "On it."

BoomFuzzy: "JellyBeans, try to keep a low profile. No more eating police officers, yeah?"

Quaraun: "I shall try. But I promise nothing."

GhoulSpawn: "Is what you're doing keeping a low profile?"

BoomFuzzy: "The low profile needs to be kept by HIM, not me. {p} I am a reality show tv chef; the Humans know what to expect of me. {p} And I give them exactly that."

BoomFuzzy: "I am BoomFuzzy the Unicorn. Entertainer. {p} HE is The Pink Necromancer, bringer of the apocalypse, where he walks, zombies follow."

GhoulSpawn: "Where he walks insanity follows. {p} He just ate a police officer and you act like that's normal!"

BoomFuzzy: "It IS normal! Why do you think I need you to help him stay out of trouble?"

GhoulSpawn: "You were just flashing the food judges."

BoomFuzzy: " ... {p} ... {p} GhoulSpawn, do you even know who I am?"

GhoulSpawn: "A crazy Faerie King who wears a kilt so he flash every one?"

BoomFuzzy: "Have you ever even SEEN my show?"

GhoulSpawn: "No."

BoomFuzzy: "You know I'm a porn star, right?"

Ghoulsawn: "I suppose that would explain why you have so much trouble keeping your cloths on, but, no, I was not aware of that."

BoomFuzzy: "Have you encountered any of my fans yet, this weekend?"

GhoulSpawn: "Oh yeah... a lot of them... everywhere. Quaraun's been trying to strangle all of them. Largely on the account of they all seem to do the same thing."

BoomFuzzy: "Which is?"

GhoulSpawn: "Throw their bras at you while asking you to sign their boobs. I've never seen anything like it, and it's got Quaraun on edge so bad."

BoomFuzzy: "It is not a random oddball request on the part of these women."

GhoulSpawn: "I had noticed it doesn't faze you at all."

BoomFuzzy: "I'm known for my lewd talk and perverted behaviour on my extremely not safe for work cooking show, which often features woman in the the live studio audience throwing their bras and panties at me from the audience. {p} In fact, I encourage this sort of behaviour, with my frequent habit of inviting the women onto the stage, so I could sign their bared breasts on live tv."

GhoulSpawn: " ... {p} Does Quaraun know that?"

BoomFuzzy: "Quaraun watches my show. A show that I was making, before he was even born. He knew who I was and what I do, when he married me."

GhoulSpawn: "I thought you were a TV chef."

BoomFuzzy: "I am."

GhoulSpawn: "I'm confused."

BoomFuzzy: "You should watch my show some time. You'll be less confused."

GhoulSpawn: "So when you say we need to keep a low profile, you mean, Quaraun?"

BoomFuzzy: "Yes."

GhoulSpawn: "Not you."

BoomFuzzy: "No. Not me."

GhoulSpawn: "Why not you? Why don't you have to keep a low profile too?"

BoomFuzzy: "I am the distraction. Humans keep all eyes on me, and they don't see what my Goblins are doing."

GhoulSpawn: "What are your Goblins doing?"

BoomFuzzy: "Gathering the harvest. Have you never seen a Siren?"

GhoulSpawn: "A what?"

BoomFuzzy: "A siren. Lonely fisherman on the shore, hears beautiful singing and follows it, and there on the beach, lay a beautiful MerMaid, big perky breasts on display. And he runs to her aid, to stroke her breasts, but she leaps up and swims into the ocean. And jumps in after her. She swims towards the island, that he doesn't notice wasn't there a moment agaon. The faster the island swims away, the faster she follows, the faster he follows..."

BoomFuzzy: "...and when he is so far away from the show, that he can not swim back, for he has swum so long, so far, and is so very tired... the MerMaid goes limp, for she was never alive, and the island rises up out of the water, not an island at all, but a huge angler fish, with a long floppy antenna on it's head, the Mermaid just a fleshy apedage, a lovely big breasted lure. And the last thing the fisherman sees is the long sharp fangs of the giant angler fish, as it eats him."

GhoulSpawn: " ... {p} You're saying that's what a Siren really is?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "Annnd... you're saying that's your job here? You're the anglerfish luring people... why... exactly?"

BoomFuzzy: "I'm the well hung double dicked angler fish. I'm'a Unicorn. Have you forgotten that? I'm literally hung like a horse. Twice."

GhoulSpawn: "You are that. But I don't see what that had to do..."

BoomFuzzy: "I am often called The Naked Chef by my fans, as I am known to cook while wearing absolutely nothing but a purple sequin g-string, while my spring break bikini wearing stripper fans scream and swoon."

GhoulSpawn: "I suppose that would explain why come home from work wearing nothing but sequin bikinis. {p} ...so... your cooking show is what... porn chef cooks lunch?"

BoomFuzzy: "Essentuall. Yes. I star in a bizarre, porn filled cooking show. The fact of the matter is, I am nothing short of a porn star, a thing I already was before Quaraun had even met me, let alone married me"

BoomFuzzy: "But this did not stop Quaraun from being filled with raging thoughts of murder, every time he comes face to face with my adoring fans. And... Unfortunately, my Boom Fans have a nasty habit of going missing, then turning up a few weeks later as shambling undead zombies. {p} And while every one knows The Pink Necromancer is killing off my groupies, there is no one on the planet brave enough to stand up to The Pink Necromancer."

GhoulSpawn: "So when you say 'keep a low profile', what you really mean is keep Quaraun occupied so he doesn' flip out when he sees your fans throwing their bras at you."

BoomFuzzy: "Exactly."

GhoulSpawn: "Because you don't want him killing your fans."

BoomFuzzy: "I did not say that."

GhoulSpawn: "uhm... {p} ... what?"

Boomfuzzy: "I don't mind him killing my fans. He's just no stealthy about it. He does it too publicly."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... {p} ... {p} ...???... {p} Uhm... could you explain that last part to me? I feel like I missed something."

BoomFuzzy: "Humans tened to forget the old rule which states: {p} {b} One must never accept food from Faeries {/b}. The fact that the King of the UnSeelie Court is also the Faerie Chef of the highest rated tv show on the planet, never crosses anyone's minds.."

BoomFuzzy: "Likewise, no one ever notices that events like this week's festival, typically end in a bloodbath, with the super villian evil due working hand in hand, as The Pink Necromancer mass murders the entire crowd, while I the Faerie chef cook the Humans into lovely meat pies, which they are currently refusing to judge, after I stayed up all night butchering vendors to make them..."

GhoulSpawn: "Those are..."

BoomFuzzy: "Shepherd's Pies, made from fresh shepherds. Harvested from that field over there, last night. {p} Oh! By the way. I found you a new flock of sheep. They're rather shepardless at the moment. I thought you'd like to add them to your herd. {p} Never say I don't think of you GhoulSpawn. I know how much Urisigs like rescuing sheep herds from evil Humans who would eat them."

GhoulSpawn: "Those pies are made out of Humans?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "Like the hamburgers from this morning?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "Why?"

BoomFuzzy: "We are The UnSeelie Court."

GhoulSpawn: "Meaning?"

BoomFuzzy: "Eating Humans is what we do."

GhoulSpawn: "So the Harvest you all keep talking about..."

BoomFuzzy: "We are harvesting Humans to serve to the UnSeelie Court at our feasts in the underground. Once we move into the mountain, into the cave system seven miles below the surface, there will be no more vegetation growing. We eat plants when we live on the surface. But the subterranean fungi is not enough to sustain us for the three years of Shard Fall, so we bring stores of meat with us, which we gather at these festivals."

GhoulSpawn: "And your tv show is the lure, that brings in crowds..."

BoomFuzzy: "I am BoomFuzzy the Double Dicked Unicorn. And I am very good at getting straight women and gay men alike dancing Pied Piper style right into my gingerbread house just like a whole of Hansel and Gretels, onto the stage in my tv show studio kitchen, and straight into the oven to be baked in pies, before anyone realized they was lusting after The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, King Gwallmaiic of The UnSeelie Court, Lich Lord of Fire Mountain."

GhoulSpawn: "Uhm... {p} ... {p} ... do you cook people on live tv?"

BoomFuzzy: "But of course!"

GhoulSpawn: "How do you get away with that?"

Boomfuzzy: "I own the Network."

GhoulSpawn: "Oh. Right. I forgot. {p} ... {p} Wait, do you just call people up on the stage out of the audience, and they just jump in the oven on live tv?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "Willingly?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "Do they know they are actually going to die?"

BoomFuzzy: "No. They think it's an act. They expect to roll out the back of a fake oven and get some grand prize. A new car. A new kitchen."

GhoulSpawn: "Why would they expect that?"

BoomFuzzy: "Well, because sometimes they do. In between ad breaks, at least once every episode, stages hands roll the oven off stage, bring in a fake oven, and pouf, we have a winner! A million dollars, a new car, a trip to the South Pacif, all new kitchen, best appliances, all autographed by me, all my cookbooks, also all autographed by me, a years supply of food, made by me... there's a winner every episode."

GhoulSpawn: "You give out a million dollars every time? Can you afford that?"

BoomFuzzy: "You do know I own a dragon, right?"

GhoulSpawn: "I kind of forgot that. {p} ... {p} Wait... so you kill people and cook on live TV and you get away with it, because every episode there's a winner, who gets a huge prize that Humans think is worth risking their lives for, all because you dance around naked on tv showing off that you have two penises?"

BoomFuzzy: "Having two penises, just gives me advantages over Humans that no one can explain. Only thing hornier then a horny double dicked Unicorn, is Humans awe struck by the existence of a man with two penises."

GhoulSpawn: "But you're a shapeshifter. You don't naturally have two penises."

BoomFuzzy: "Humans don't know that. I'm also not a Unicorn. I'm a Phooka. But there's better marketing in saying I'm a Unicorn."

GhoulSpawn: "But Why?"

BoomFuzzy: "Why what?"

GhoulSpawn: "Why lure Humans to a tv studio to be cooking in an oven in a gingerbread house?"

BoomFuzzy: "Revenge."

GhoulSpawn: "Revenge?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "For what?"

BoomFuzzy: "Gretel killed my grandmother by pushing her in an oven."

GhoulSpawn: " ... "

GhoulSpawn: " ... "

GhoulSpawn: " Uhm... "

GhoulSpawn: " ... "

GhoulSpawn: "Can ... can... can you say that again? "

BoomFuzzy: "Gretel killed my grandmother by pushing her in an oven."

GhoulSpawn: "That's what I thought I heard you say."

BoomFuzzy: "Gretel pushed me grandmother into the oven. {p} I puts Humans into the oven. {p} Gretel thought she killed the witch. {p} I spends me life demonstrating that she did not kill the entire family."

GhoulSpawn: " Uhm... so... you're... you're like saying the Hansel and Gretel story is real. And your grandmother was the witch, and your gingerbread house... is that... it that like the real actual Hansel and Gretal gingerbread house?"

BoomFuzzy: "It is. My grandmother built it."

GhoulSpawn: "Wait. You're saying your grandmother was literally the witch?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "And Gretel killed her?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "And you built your cooking show around Hansel and Gretel?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "And the gingerbread house is the actual gingerbread house?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "And you lure Humans into it?"

BoomFuzzy: "Aye."

GhoulSpawn: "...Dude."

BoomFuzzy: "What?"

GhoulSpawn: "That is probably the most elaborate revenge plot in the history of civilization."

BoomFuzzy: "Thank ye."

GhoulSpawn: "I wasn't complimenting you."

BoomFuzzy: "I know."

Quaraun: "No. You are overlooking the most important portion."

GhoulSpawn: "What?"

Quaraun: "Gretel pushed the old woman into the oven."

GhoulSpawn: "Yeah."

Quaraun: "Therefore, BoomFuzzy is entitled to push Gretel's descendants into ovens."

GhoulSpawn: "...That's not how historical justice works."

Quaraun: "It is how Faerie justice works."

BoomFuzzy: "See? JellyBeans gets it."

Quaraun: "I GOT IT!"

BoomFuzzy: "Eh? Don't let the children catch it too, eh, Love."

Quaraun: "I shall disguise myself as a pumpkin."

BoomFuzzy: "A pumpkin?"

Quaraun: "Yes! I shall be a giant pink pumpkin!"

BoomFuzzy: A pink one at that, even."

Quaraun: "Yes! It shall work splendidly!"

BoomFuzzy: "For what?"

Quaraun: "Keeping a low profile."

BoomFuzzy: "As a ... pumpkin?"

Quaraun: "Yes!"

BoomFuzzy: "Why?"

Quaraun: "So the Humans shall not recognise me."

BoomFuzzy: "Everyone knows yer a silly pink pumpkin, JellyBeans."

Quaraun: "They shall think I am an unusually large pink pumpkin."

BoomFuzzy: "There are no pink pumpkins."

Quaraun: "That is why it shall work."

BoomFuzzy: "Aye. Brilliant. Go hide in the pumpkin patch."

Quaraun: "You are mocking me."

BoomFuzzy: "Never, love. If it let's us get work done, you have my permision to go sit your arse in a pumpkin patch for the rest of the festival."

Boom Fan: “Oh my god, it’s BoomFuzzy! SIGN MY BOOBS!”

Quaraun: “GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND YOU FUCKING SLUTS! I AM GOING TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU WHORES!!”

BoomFuzzy: “STOP KILLING ALL MY FANS YOU CRAZY YANDERE IDIOT!!”

~Quaraun Goes To The Fair

Did I mention, Quaraun is a zombie, as is BoomFuzzy, and Ghoulspawn is too, he just hasn't come to terms with it yet, my series is a zombie apocalypse told from the point of views of the zombies... these are LITERAL UNDEAD MONSTERS, a hoard of intelligent thinking zombies that are able to pass themselves off as the living, so they can "Something Wicked This way Comes" style set up a seemingly innocent carnival in a village of the living, and them eat all the people that were stupid enough to enter the market... it's a travelling merchant and food truck chef, leading a massive horde of twenty-one billion zombies across the planet, systematically hunting down the living, because they eat brains, and all these guys have on their minds is where's the next group of brains we can harvest... literal Goblin Market logic here, NO ONE IS SELLING to customers, because the merchants are zombies eating the customers.

My characters are blood thirsty zombies with one thing on their minds: Brains!

Brains, brains, brains, brains, BRAINS!

Harvesting brains.

Eating brains.

Cooking brains.

Picking brains.

Pickling brains.

Sauteing brains.

Creating new recipes for brains stew.

And leaving nothing to waste, BoomFuzzy grinds Human bones into flour, literal bone meal flour, for making his gingerbread, his magical gingerbread that he uses to lure Humans into The UnSeelie Court, so the UnDead Evil faeries can feast on Humans brains.

I think I did.

I don't write symbolism or metaphor, I write a very bitchy character who vocally yells at other characters when things upset him... there is almost never narrative in my writing, it's 90%+ or more straight up dialogue of characters fighting and bickering.

I hate narrative.

I hate exposition.

I hate when writers jerk themselves off all over the page with long winded purple prose describing everything in the history of their world that doesn't matter for shit in the story at all.

I obviously hate prologues and refuse to read them.

As you can see from this scene above, I like dialogue.

I like dialogue a lot.

There's a REASON why half my readers say I write like Earnest Hemingway (and they aren't saying it as a good thing, they say it as an insult), and you see from that sample WHY my writing is kind of pretty much exactly like Hemingway's: it's dialogue, dialogue, dialogue, and more dialogue... that that you just read is a 48 page long scene from a novel, and it has under a paragraph TOTAL of narrative.

If you don't know Hemingway wrote prose in script stage play format, so his work is 90% dialogue, near zero narration, no exposition at all, and often has no name tags to even say who is talking.

Also, I had been writing my series for well over forty years before I finally looked up who Hemingway was. I read Hemingway for the first time in 2012. And I saw immediately why it was that readers who hated my work, compared it with Hemingway, because, like Hemingway, I write only dialogue, near zero narrative, and no exposition at all, and, often my books only use a name tag at the very start and never again through the rest of the book, so, it relies fully on character voice for the reader to know who is talking because I don't as "he said" to the stories.

and you will also notice my stories move fast, no time for dilly dallying with exposition.

My characters don't stop bitching at each other long enough for the narrator to get a word in edge wise.

plus you will notice to, these are NOT safe for work,, but also not Erotica.

For some odd reason when readers see a book marked NSFW (Not safe for work) they immediately assume sex scenes/erotic content.

And what you just read in that scene there is the closest thing you are going to get to sex scenes and erotica.

Sex never happens on the page.

Nor does violence.

And yet even though sex acts and violence acts are not shown directly on the page, the reader is fully aware who has sex with who, what violent acts are going on around them.

You learned in that scene that Quaraun is married to the king, but that Quaraun's apprentice is sleeping in their bed with them. Both the king and the apprentice have sex with the royal court mage. Not seperatly either. They are both inside the wizard at the same time.

You learned all that, without a sex scene happening.

You peiced that together through bits of conversation slung at each other duruing an argument.

You like wise learned that Quaraun just killed and eat a Human in broad daylight in the middle of the state fair, but again, you did not see it happen. You saw the event leading up to it and the event immediately after.

lack of sex scenes on page and lack of violence on page, does not mean safe for kids to read. these books are extremely for mature adults over the age of 21.

Characters swear, talk crudely, Quaraun drinks absinthe, smokes a hookah, smokes a glass opium pipe, GhoulSpawn uses lsd, BoomFuzzy makes and sells various drugs, both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are excessively violent and suffer from serious anger management issues with both of them killing people on a regular basis....

There have been many adults who say they find my books too adult for them... even though my books lack on page sex or on page gore.

The humour, profanity, adult relationships, and characters' awareness of sexuality and violence are part of the characterization even when the camera is not depicting those acts directly.

And, when you see what exactly my work is like, you can't help but to wonder how it is there are people who call my work Erotica.

I don't understand that at all.

The people who call my work Erotica... WHAT in my work are they finding to be erotic?

Have I ever mentioned I hate sex?

I hate smut.

I hate Erotica.

And I especially hate people who lump my books into the vile smutty, sex filled category of Erotica, so I really have questions as to why my books are getting called omega verse.

But also, I hate people who contact me asking me to add sex scenes to my books.

the thing people are not considering, when they call my work Erotica is how incredibly offensive that is, they forget there could be an actual REASON for writing no smutt... one related to real world trauma. I was SAed many times as a child, by adults (2 uncles and the sunday school president of our church) who should have been men I could trust. I had my first miscarriage at age 12, and miscarriage was what THEY called it, after they shoved me in a shower stall and kicked me in the stomach until they were sure the baby was dead, then locked the bathroom door and left me there for 3 days to "make sure I didn't get blood all over the house, so annoying to have to clean it off the rugs".

I had SEVEN of these miscarriages by the time I was 18 years old.

Needless to say as an adult I have an EXTREME HATRED for sex, smut, and erotica. I neither read nor write it and I block any reader demanding it.

My parents, used 12 year old me as a fucking breeder to high priests at the Cape Elizabeth church, because my mother was infertile and THAT is WHY I wrote Quaraun being kept as a breeder, locked up by an insane infertile bitch who didn't give a shit about him and just kept hiring men to rape, rape, rape, rape, rape....I wrote Quaraun wanting to not be female anymore, because that's all that ever went through my head... I fucking hated being female, I hated that my mother saw me as nothing but a breeder to pop out babies for her obsession with having a son... so I wrote Rapunzel, being used the same way and hating it and finally escaping and living as a man after escaping to try to forget the shirt his crazed infertile overlord did to him...

That's the whole reason, they -my parents- took me out of Old Orchard Beach Loranger School when I was 8. Because I started my period when I was 8. And all I ever was to my parents, was a fucking breeder, that's why they kept me locked in funking woodshed they called a room for 27 years, from the time I was 8 years old until I escaped it at age 31. I was pregnant 7 times before I was 16 years old, and they took my babies away every single time... and THAT is why that's how the Quaraun series starts... because I was sick of my mother selling my to high priests of her church, just because she was infertile and obsessed with needing to have a so and she thought having priests rape me endlessly was the way to get a baby... well, guess what... no matter how many rape babies she stole from me, not a one of them are hers and she knows it.

I committed the crime of being born female, and my mother told me that every damned day: "you filthy little competition bitch, I wanted a boy! you committed the sin of being born female! you fucking good for nothing four eyed retard! I didn't commit any sin, so why the fuck did god fucking punish me with a fucking female! you are unloved and unwanted you filthy little competition bitch!"

I grew up, endlessly wish I was male, and that's why I wrote Quaraun as living as a male and using he/him/his male pronouns after he discarded his past as Rapunzel.

I am a niche writer. I write a Seahorse Dad main character (female to male transgender character whom has not had bottom surgery, is in a lavender relationship married to a gay man, and in most stories, is 8 months pregnant and having to deal with things like bathrooms and crazy church groups beating him up, in Transman MPreg, Omegaverse Yaoi, Shifter Dark Fantasy. A genre, that right now is being targeted by leaders in America so is seeing a massive worldwide slump because every one is scared to admit they read transgender characters right now.

I started writing/publishing the series in 1978, it is right now 2 years from it’s 50th anniversary. It now spans 138 novels (each over 150k words), 423 novellas (each 35k to 75k words), 500+ poems (each over 1k words), 2k+ drabbles (each exactly 100 words), and 3k+ short stories (each over 300 words and upto 20k words)… in total the series spans more then forty million words published in the last 48 years.

All of them following, ONE main character. Each story stand alone. There is no vol 1, vol 2, vol 3… you can read each story in any order you want because there is no continuing parts. I do it like The Simpson’s tv show, where Bart Simpson is ALWAYS the 8 year old boy for the past 30 years, and he never has character arcs, never grows emotionally, is exactly the same in every episode, and no new episode ever references or even remembers the existence of any previous episode.

What works for me?

Writing a character that I love and have fun writing. I wouldn’t be two years from my fiftieth anniversary writing this character if I did not have so much fun writing him.

The Seahorse Dad Transman MPreg genre is so small, so niche, that it is rare for any of my books to reach even one hundred copies sold in it’s lifetime. And most marketers would say that makes the genre too niche, too small. But I love what I write, and for me, writing what I love, is more important then writing to a big market in hopes of getting bigger sales.

I’m not a good writer. My spelling sucks, I can barely string along grammar, American English is not my native language so I struggle with slang terms and vocabulary very badly, which is why I make a habit of reading dictionaries, I have the vocabulary of an 8 to 10 year old, and so I struggle with “big” (high school or college level) words, I was born in a culture that does not allow females to get an education so I never went to school, and I was 31 years old when I started sneaking out at night to take adult education classes and get a GED, but, I had to pretend to be a man in order to get into the highschool to take the adult education classes… which is a large part of WHY I write a transman character (a biological woman who lives as a male in order to gain access to tthings only men are allowed to do, like learning to read and write… my character also has prosthetic hands because his father caught him sneaking out as a man, and cut his hands off… that’s the culture I grew up in, I’m in a wheelchair now, because after getting a GED, I tried to go to college, I never got my degree, because my spine was broken with a golf club as punishment for learning to read and write).

So, as you can see, writing a female to male transgender character in a society, like mine, that would rather kill a woman then let her learn to read, is VERY IMPORTANT TO ME ON PERSONAL LEVELS… thus why it is the niche I write even though, it’s admittingly not a niche that sells well.

I have fun writing it though, because I can write my f2m character doing thing I am not physically capable of doing. He fights back against the sorts of people, I’m not physically strong enough to fight. So it’s vouyerism I suppose, my enjoyment of writing this character, in that I can allow him to do the things I wish I could do.

I’m not a good writer. I know that. But… it like, because I’m writing for myself, writing the story that I want to read, writing the story that I could not find out there written by other, it kind of doesn’t matter to me if the writing is garbage, if the grammar is bad, if the spelling is terrible, if it compares to the skill of other/better writers, because, my goal is not to write the best thing ever, my goal is to have fun writing the fun thing I wanted to read about fun characters having fun in a fun world setting.

Fun, is literally the goal here, so, I’m not worrying: “Does my writing suck?” because, yeah, my writing probably does suck. but did I have fun writing it? Hell, yeah I did!

Likewise, I’m not worrying “Will my books sell?” because I am aware I’m writing a niche that, well, 90% of the world political leaders hate, want boycotted, even make laws banning it… Americans act like transgender is only men in dresses, and they forget that MOST of the world’s transgender population is women, who pretend to be men, just so they can sneak into colleges and learn how to read and write, a thing that they do at risk of their own lives, so even with American leaders calling for the erasure of transgender books, I still write them same as I always have for 50 years, because here’s a hell of a lot of women in this world who need to know they CAN learn to read and write, they just have to get really good at pretending to be a man to do it. And to me, THAT is more important then writing a genre that might sell millions of copies.

So for me it’s all about not thinking about what other writers are doing at all, not caring if other writers write better, not trying to write a bestseller, and just focusing on the fun of the act of writing fun things, things that are personally important to me.

And now, here is the stuff in my series/Quaraun's world, that is causing readers to classify my series as Omegaverse:

Since different Omegaverse have different set ups, I think it is important to give you the Omegaverse set up on Quaraun's world:

King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn aka The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, Lich lord of Fire Mountain, is the Alpha.

The Alpha is the ruler, a political figure, a type of King, and somewhat like a crime lord Mafia Mob Don gangster leader. He is written as though he were a much feared Don of a Mafia Romance.

Alphas are rare, and they are dominant leaders. Alphas are always highly aggressive, highly dominant, quick to violence, every one fears the Alpha, every one obeys the Alpha.

Quaraun is the Omega.

Omegas are uncommon and they are prized breeders kept by Alphas. Omegas are essentially breeder slaves owned by Alphas, and are kept continually pregnant. Omegas have no rights or freedoms beyond those allowed by the Alpha.

Due to specific conditions of the apocalypse which occurred over two thousand years prior to the start of the series, Omegas are the ONLY people who can get pregnant, while Alphas are the ONLY people who can impregnate.

Omegas are highly prized, because fertility is extremely rare, and many pack only have one Omega. Packs are built around the Omega, in that the Alpha puts highest priority always on ensuring the entire pack serves the Omega, protects the Omega, guards the Omega...Omegas are treated like rare, precious, fragile prizes, are heavily guarded, are often pregnant, and the whole pack treats them like some kind of chosen one gift from the gods.

The Alpha adores the Omega, treats the Omega like a queen, will beat the shit out of any one who does not serve his Omega.

Omegas are written like I was writing a Helen of Troy type character that natives fight over.

Quaraun is considered a rare sub-type of Omega, known as an Alpha-Omega, and so he has privileges most Omegas are never given, which is why he is commonly seen in public and travelling outside the pack. Normally Omegas are never allowed outside at all, as it is their duty to stay with their nest, stay pregnant, give birth, get pregnant again, give birth again. Omegas literally are breeders who are not allowed to do anything but breed.

Quaraun started out in the series as a female Elf Princess who was the High priestess of The Moon Goddess. Quaraun is a psion, a seer, and uses cards, crystals, and spirit boards to speak directly to The Moon Goddess. Upon transitioning to male he became known as The High Priest of the Moon Goddess.

Quaraun is a "True Necromancer" or "Natural Born Necromancer" meaning he was born with the ability to see and hear the dead/ghosts/spirits, and so people travel from all over the solar system to hire him to communicate with their dead loved ones for them. Because he is the Moon's Goddess's High Priest he always wears pink, and this combined with his being Faerie Sighted (able to see beyond the veil into the spirit realm) is why people call him The Pink Necromancer.

Most everyone in the world is a Beta.

Betas are common and are servant class or citizen class and are infertile. They are the people, the followers of the the Alpha, the servants of the Omega, the civilians of the pack.

BoomFuzzy is not only an Alpha, he is the Sigma Alpha.

Meanwhile GhoulSpawn is the Gamma Alpha.

Gamma are unusual, and are what happens when a single pack has two Alphas.

The primary Alpha is the Sigma Alpha, he is the pack leader, the Mafia Don type mentioned above, while the secondary Alpha is the Gamma Alpha who takes orders from the Sigma Alpha to the lower class Beta civilians.

Sigma and Gamma are unusual as they happen only in extremely large packs, where one Alpha needs another Alpha to be his assistant, due to how large the pack is. While both are aggressively dominant, the Gamma is submissive to the Sigma.

While technically "only a breeder slave", the Omega ranks below the Sigma but above the Gamma so the Omega never gives orders to the Sigma, but will often give orders to the Gamma treating the Gamma as their personal assistant.

It is considered a high honour to be a Gamma as normally no one is allowed to have close contact with the Alphas Omega.

The Omegaverse uses ONLY Alpha, Beta, Omega, but my series uses ALL the letters of the Greek Alphabet.

Deltas are "minor" Alphas, essentially the generals or counsellors or court advisors of the Sigma Alpha.

A pack may or may not have Deltas.

Sometimes an Alpha has Deltas but no Gamma.

Sometimes an Alpha has a Gamma, but no Deltas.

Sometimes an Alpha has both a Gamma and Delta.

BoomFuzzy is a Sigma Alpha who leads a pack so huge, that he has both a Gamma and a team of thirteen Deltas.

The Thirteen Lich Lords are Deltas, and include FarDarrig the Vampire Lephrechaun, Harvey the Easter Bunny, Satan Claws The Jolly Red Lich of the Deep North, Baba Yagga and her Banshee Sisters, The RiverBoat ManWoman of the River Stix, ZooLock the Great Last of the Di'Jinn, The Jiggler, Etiole The Silver Salamander, Sir Roderick of The Twighlight Manor, King Daemon of the Golden Palace, Empress EelKat Leader of the Ptarmagin Kats, The Tooth Fairy, and Cupid. They rule the 13 Space Docks. Space Dock 13 being rules by the MerMan Etiole and is where BoomFuzzy and Quaraun live.

Deltas usually only occur in very large packs, where the pack is too big for just the Sigma Alpha and his Gamma Alpha.

Deltas take orders from both the Sigma and the Gamma, as well as the Omega.

In my world setting BoomFuzzy is the Sigma, Quaraun is the Omega, GhoulSpawn is the Gamma, and there is a council of 13 Deltas.

Quaraun has 37 personal Betas, known as The 37 Handmaids.

BoomFuzzy has many personal Betas, known as The Goblins, thus leading to BoomFuzzy's alt nickname "The Goblin King", but the number is never specified though presumably it is at least a few dozen, probably around a hundred.

GhoulSpawn is new to the pack, an outsider from another planet, and is more in a testing phase to see how well he can be trusted for his roll of Gamma, so does not yet have any Beta or Delta assigned to him, though the assumption is that once he has lived with the Sigma and the Omega long enough, he as Gamma will be assigned his own personal Betas and a small council of Deltas to help him rule.

The UnSeelie Court is the title of their pack, a title taken from Human Folklore, they are not the literal UnSeelie Court of Folklore, but rather are are crime family like gang who uses The UnSeelie Court as their gang name because of the fear the word holds.

The UnSeelie Court, the base group that lives at The Space Dock 13 Lighthouse, has around 400 families within it, totalling at least three thousand individual people. The exact number of people is never specified and not important.

What is important is that the UnSeelie Court is the ONLY pack which has more then a hundred people in the pack.

All other packs, on all five of the inhabited planets, live in fear of The UnSeelie Court because not only is the UnSeelie Court lead by BoomFuzzy, but also the shear numbers they have means no other pack would stand a chance against them.

Additionally the UnSeelie Court is even bigger than the 400 families/3,000 people living in the Sigmas direct rule... here's why:

EACH of the 13 previously mentioned Deltas do not live within the UnSeelie Court itself.

Instead their are 13 continents on the planet Vesonta and the Sigma has set up UnSeelie Court districts on each, and placed a Delta in each district.

Presumably each Delta has his own Omega and his own Gamma, and around 100 families under his rule, and is allowed to set up his own council of Deltas within his group as he sees fit.

These 13 outposts of The UnSeelie Court are largely self ruled, though they pay tribute to the Sigma, and are the trade route locations BoomFuzzy and Quaraun travel to with supplies to buy sell and trade.

When Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are travelling, it is to these 13 outposts that they are going, but they make stops along the way to trade with other packs and to trade with Human settlements along the way.

So the set up is somewhat quasi like America's system of a President rules the land and makes the federal laws and has the final say over punishment, but then each 50 state has a governor who makes the state level rules and has the final say over those rules, and each state pays taxes to the federal ruler.

BUT.... there are HUGE divergences from Omegaverse, that my series takes, largely because it was not written to BE Omegaverse...

My series does not use the "secondary genders" that are in newer Omegaverse series, as the concept of "secondary genders" was added to Omegaverse in 2020 during the Covid shutdowns and the weird influx of minors writing on ao3 website, and inexplicably adding "alt genders" onto their characters.

Ursula K. Le Guin is credited with started the Omegaverse genre in the 1960s all of her Sci-Fi novels are Omegaverse, and are considered the original Omegaverse books that started the entire genre. The Planet of the Apes series (books and movies) also from the 1960s, is another of the early Omegaverse works, and it outright tells viewers that in the second movie Beneath the Planet of the Apes, when it adds a Satirical "Alpha and Omega Cult" to make fun of early Omegaverse fanfiction of the era.

The Island of Dr Morouea, written in the 1880s is considered the book that inspired the early Omegaverse books of the 1960s, with the Star Trek TVshow and the first Island of Dr Moroe movie, and Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon/Lythande series being the initial franchises to spur the early Omegaverse fanzines fanfiction.

So I can see within the history of Omegaverse there are overlaps, because my series started out as Lythande Fanfiction set in the Planet of the Apes world. Quaraun himself was originally Lythande, and the fact of the world being twenty thousand years after planet earth was blown up in the 25th century, was taken right out of Planet of the Apes.

My series heavily uses Island of Dr. Moruea as the backstory for WHY people are half animal and WHY the Alphas rule the eath now.

My series was started in the 1970s and so follows this early style of Omegaverse, with it's influences being Lythande, Mists of Avalon, Island of Dr Moruea, Star Trek, and Planet of the Apes, heavily mixed with werewolfe lore of the time, and mixed with a lot of Brother's Grim Fairy Tales. And with that being the case, that means my series was already well established for well over thirty years, before the 2020 rise of the "alt genders' that is common in modern Omegaverse fics.

This also means that while my series is MPreg (pregnant males), it is old 1970s style MPreg, meaning a transgender character. A character born biologically female, but living as a male, but has not have sex change surgery, has not had a hysterectomy, was born with a vagina and ovaries and uterus, so can still get pregnant. This has become known as "Seahorse Pregnancy MPreg" or "Transman MPreg".

The newer postCovid Omegaverse fics with the alt gender features, mean something entirely different when they say MPreg. In those, the alt gender feature, follows a magic system (the magic system varies from one series to the next) which allows biological males to get pregnant. So literally a male who is pregnant in spite of not having either a vagina or a uterus or ovaries.

My series does NOT have the literal biological males getting pregnant, feature, found in newer Omegaverse fics. My series follows the real world logic of a character must be biologically female to get pregnant, even if they are transgender and passing for male.

This means that in my series an Omega is ALWAYS born biologically female. And an Alpha is ALWAYS born biologically male.

I treat the Greek letters as biological, political, and socio-economic castes that directly serve my Mafia-style, multi-planet feudal network.

In Quaraun's world, every letter represents a specific tier of power, a specialized sub-type of the primary castes (Alpha, Beta, Omega), or a institutional role designed to keep the 13 continental outposts and the main Court functioning.

NOTE: This Greek letter system ONLY exists in the UnSeelie Court and NOT within the world as a whole. These are ensuring created by Quaraun himself, when BoomFuzzy made Quaraun his royal court mage, and Quaraun declared there needed to be a caste system so they could better organize their rule over the people.

Here is the complete 24-letter Greek Letter "Omegaverse" classification system designed specifically for my lore:

The Sovereign High Tier (The Core Rulers)

These are my primary power players, defined by absolute dominance, supreme rarity, or high-tier reproductive status.

Sigma Alpha: The Sovereign Apex: The absolute rarest tier of Alpha. They possess unmatched dominance, strategic brilliance, and the sheer territorial presence required to force other Alphas into submission. They do not just rule a pack; they rule an empire of other packs. BoomFuzzy is the only one.

Alpha: The Dominant Lords: Rare, highly aggressive, and quick to violence. They are the natural-born rulers and mob bosses of the universe. Every other caste instinctively fears and obeys them.

Gamma Alpha: The Submissive Alphas: Highly unusual. They possess all the aggressive dominance of a standard Alpha toward the lower castes, but are biologically hardwired to be submissive to a Sigma Alpha. They act as the supreme executive assistants and enforcers of the King's will. GhoulSpawn is the only one.

Delta Alpha: The Viceroy Alphas: Minor Alphas who serve as the regional governors, generals, and court advisors. They are powerful enough to rule their own continental outposts and subjugate local Betas, but they ultimately defer and pay tribute to the Sigma King.

Omega: The Prized Sacred Breeders: Uncommon, fragile, and treated as chosen gifts from the gods. They are the only people who can get pregnant. Held in gilded cages, heavily guarded, and kept continuously pregnant, they are the focal point around which entire pack structures are built.

Alpha-Omega: The Sovereign Consorts (The Queen): An exceptionally rare sub-type of Omega. They possess the rare, prized reproductive capabilities of an Omega but carry the psychological fortitude, independence, and occasionally the psionic or mystical gifts (like True Necromancy) of the highest tier. This allows them rare public freedoms, travelling rights, and the authority to command Gammas, Deltas, and Betas alike. Quaraun is the only one.

---

The Elite Bureaucrats & Enforcers (The Court Upper Class)

Highly specialized Betas or exceptionally rare minor secondary castes that handle the inner workings, legalities, and specialized services for the King and Queen.

Zeta: The Consular Judiciaries: High-ranking Betas who act as the lawyers, judges, and legal architects of the Court. They manage the complex tribute laws, contract disputes between the 13 outposts, and ensure the Sigma King’s federal laws are perfectly documented.

Theta: The Spiritualists & Oracles: A rare caste of Betas (or low-fertility Omegas) born with high psionic sensitivity. While they lack the supreme power of the Queen, they serve under the Queen (High Priest) as acolytes, card readers, and spiritual caretakers of the Moon Goddess shrines.

Iota: The Ledger Keepers & Spies: The "invisible" Betas. They are the accountants, financial genius, and intelligence gatherers for the Sigma King. They track the wealth flowing in from the 13 continents and whisper secrets directly into the ears of the Gamma Alpha. GhoulSpawn comands these.

Lambda: The Inquisitors & Executioners: The most brutal, cold-hearted Betas in the pack. They are the King’s clean-up crew. When a civilian Beta or a lower pack step out of line, the Lambdas are sent by the Sigma Alpha to make examples of them, mimicking the lethal gravity of a true Mafia hit squad.

---

The Trade, Logistics & Planetary Fleet (The Empire Arteries)

Since the UnSeelie Court travels across the solar system to trade with Human settlements and outposts, these castes manage the infrastructure of space travel and commerce.

Eta: The Planetary Navigators: Highly specialized Betas trained in interstellar travel, mechanics, and planetary logistics. They command the massive transport ships that carry the King, Queen, and their entourage between the five inhabited planets.

Kappa: The Caravan Masters: The cutthroat merchants and trade diplomats. They handle the complex black-market trading, resource bartering, and human settlement negotiations during the King's massive planetary tours.

Mu: The Core Infrastructure Architects: The engineers, builders, and heavy-system managers. They are responsible for building the physical fortresses, nesteries, and defense networks on the 13 continents.

Nu: The Resource Quartermasters: The logistics experts who ensure the Court’s 400 families, the King’s Goblins, and the Queen’s Handmaids are always fed, clothed, and supplied. They manage the heavy tribute taxes collected from the outposts.

---

The Domestic & Attendant Castes (The Inner Circle Servants)

These castes have the immense honor, and terrifying responsibility, of interacting directly with the Alphas and the Queen's inner sanctum.

Epsilon: The Royal Attendants (The Handmaids & Goblins): The elite servant class. This is the biological/social designation for the Queen’s 37 Handmaids and the King’s personal "Goblins." They are fiercely loyal, sworn to absolute secrecy, and are the only Betas allowed to touch the Queen's nest or handle the King's personal affairs.

Xi: The Royal Guards: Elite Beta protectors hand-picked by the Deltas and approved by the Gamma Alpha. Their entire life purpose is to form the literal human shield wall around the Queen when traveling outside the safe zones.

Omicron: The Nestery Caregivers: Specialized Betas who act as midwives, pediatricians, and wet-nurses. Because Omegas are rare and precious breeder slaves kept continually pregnant, Omicrons are solely dedicated to ensuring births are successful and the Alpha's offspring survive infancy.

Phi: The Court Artisans & Curators: The artists, tailors, jewelers, and chefs of the Court. They ensure the Queen is always dressed in the finest silks, the King’s palace reflects immense wealth and terrifying prestige, and the Court always looks visually dominant to rival packs.

---

The Common Civilian & Labor Tiers (The Pack Foundation)

The vast majority of the 3,000+ people in the UnSeelie Court fall into these categories. They are the loyal subjects who live in fear of the Alpha but gain ultimate protection under his banner.

Beta: The Baseline Citizens: The common, infertile civilian class. They are the factory workers, laborers, farmers, and standard gang soldiers who make up the backbone of the 400 families. They obey blindly to ensure their own survival.

Rho: The Heavy Labourers: A subset of physically imposing Betas who perform the back-breaking work—mining, heavy manufacturing, and planetary resource extraction that feeds the Court’s wealth.

Sigma-Beta: The District Overseers: High-status Betas appointed by the 13 Deltas to run the day-to-day operations of the local neighbourhoods and outposts. They act as the bridge between the working-class citizens and the Delta rulers.

Tau: The Border Sentinels: The grunt soldiers stationed at the absolute edges of the 13 continental districts. They are the first line of defense against rival packs and wild human factions.

---

The Outcast & External Tiers (The Fringe Elements)

Those who live outside the strict protection of the Court, or are viewed as volatile variables by the Sigma King.

Upsilon: The Exiled Outcasts: Betas or failed Alphas who were stripped of their pack status for treason or cowardice but spared execution. They live on the fringes of the inhabited planets, often acting as lawless space pirates or scavengers.

Chi: The Human Collaborators: A social classification for humans who trade with or work directly for the Court. They are not part of the pack hierarchy, but they occupy a specific legal status within the King's empire.

Psi: The Untamed Psions: Wild, unregistered psions or rogue seers born outside the Court's control. The Sigma King actively hunts them down—either to force them into submission under the Queen’s spiritual guidance, or to eliminate them before they can threaten the pack's stability.

---

Summary of the Royal Court's Structure:

1. The Sigma Alpha (King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn): Absolute Mob Don & Emperor.

2. The Alpha-Omega (Queen, Quaraun, The Pink Necromancer): Prized Necromancer High Priest; answers only to the King.

3. The Gamma Alpha (Assistant, like a Vice President, the one who takes over when the King is away, GhoulSpawn): The Enforcer executing orders to lower tiers.

4. The 13 Deltas (Generals/Governors): Rule the 13 continental outposts.

5. The Epsilons: The 37 Handmaids (Queen) and ~100 Goblins (King).

6. The Mid-Tier Castes (Zeta through Phi): Keep the planetary mob empire running smoothly.

7. The Betas, Rhos, and Taus: The 3,000+ civilian pack members living under the King's absolute protection.

This is the official way it's written out in my worldbuilding lore note, though my lore notes also say:

Royal Blood

Sigma Alpha
Alpha-Omega

Dominant Castes

Alpha
Gamma
Delta

Administrative Castes

Theta
Lambda
Nu
Iota

Domestic Castes

Epsilon
Omicron
Phi

Protective Castes

Xi
Tau
Rho

Craft Castes

Mu
Pi
Kappa

Common Castes

Beta

Special Castes

Psi
Chi
Upsilon

And also my notes say:

1: Alpha: Pack Role: An extroverted, confident, and charismatic leader. The Direct Initiator: Bold, action-oriented, and comfortable making final decisions. They aren't "warlords", they are the friend who plans the trip or the coworker who confidently steps up to lead a stalled meeting.

2: Beta: Pack Role: A loyal, collaborative, and analytical personality. The Reliable Coordinator: Highly organized, loyal, and supportive. They prefer to execute plans rather than make them. They are the dependable second-in-command who keeps everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

3: Gamma: Pack Role: Creative, adventurous, and emotionally aware individuals. Fierce, volatile, and highly penetrating warriors or specialized strike-team leaders. The Intense Specialist: Highly focused, deeply passionate, and capable of working under immense pressure. They can be a bit overwhelming or "intense" to casual acquaintances, but they are incredibly dedicated to their specific craft.

4: Delta: Pack Role: Diplomats, crisis managers, or strategic reformers deployed when the pack must pivot or adapt. The Adaptable Pivot: Flexible and excellent in a crisis. They don't mind when plans change last minute—in fact, they thrive on it. They are the person you call when something goes wrong and you need a quick, creative alternative.

5: Epsilon : Pack Role: The Empath & Social Glue. They read the pack's emotional "permittivity," subtly smoothing over micro-frictions before they explode. The Quiet Observer: Highly empathetic and sensitive to shifts in the room. They notice the tiny details—like a friend looking secretly sad—and will quietly check in on them later without making a scene.

6: Zeta: Pack Role: The Internal Peacekeeper. They act as human dampers, absorbing conflict and neutralizing pack drama. The Harmonizer: The natural peacekeeper. They hate conflict and excel at de-escalating arguments, using humor or compromise to make sure everyone in the group gets along.

7: Eta: Pack Role: The Logistics Master. Efficiency experts who manage resources, rations, and territory layouts with zero wasted energy. The Pragmatic Optimist: Highly practical and resourceful. They hate wasted energy or pointless drama, always looking for the most efficient, logical way to solve everyday life problems.

8: Theta : Pack Role: The Seer / Strategist. Intellectuals who view problems from unique geometric angles, or specialized dreamers and spiritual guides. The Reflective Thinker: Deep, introspective, and a bit of a daydreamer. They love deep midnight conversations, psychology, and analyzing the "why" behind human behavior.

9: Iota : Pack Role: The Invisible Hand. Spies, scouts, or stealth operatives who deal in the unseen, hard-to-prove undercurrents of territory borders. The Detail-Oriented Perfectionist: Precise and meticulous. They notice the small things others miss, whether it’s a typo in a document, a subtle plot point in a movie, or a specific preference a friend has.

10: Kappa : Pack Role: The Frontline Warmth. Caregivers or medics who excel at thermal regulation, keeping injured packmates warm, stabilized, and nurtured. The Natural Nurturer: Warm, hospitable, and deeply comforting. They are the "mom/dad" of the friend group, the person who cooks for everyone, makes sure you got home safe, and offers a shoulder to cry on.

11: Lambda: Pack Role: The Executioner / Reaper. Tied to decay and cosmic expansion, they handle capital punishment or clean up the aftermath of pack battles. The Pragmatic Realist: Grounded, unvarnished, and direct. They don't sugarcoat things. If you want an honest, objective opinion without the fluff, you go to them.

12: Mu : Pack Role: The Anchor / Riot Control. They introduce physical or social "friction" to slow down fleeing targets or grind internal rebellions to a halt. The Stoic Anchor: Unshakable, calm, and incredibly patient. When everyone else is panicking or overreacting, they remain a steady, unmoving pillar of common sense.

13: Nu : Pack Role: The Border Phantom. Rangers who patrol vast distances, slipping effortlessly through enemy lines unnoticed to gather intelligence. The Social Chameleon: Effortlessly drifts between different social circles. They don't belong to just one group; they can talk to anyone, anywhere, and blend into any social environment seamlessly.

14: Xi: Pack Role: The Wild Card. Unpredictable trackers whose behavior follows no set pattern, making them impossible for rival packs to counter. The Unpredictable Eccentric: Highly spontaneous and unconventional. They hate routine, possess quirky hobbies, and constantly surprise people with their unique worldview.

15: Omicron : Pack Role: The Shield Wall. Heavy sentinels focused on density, fortification, and holding the literal physical perimeter of the pack home. The Protective Traditionalist: Value safety, routine, and history. They are fiercely protective of their close inner circle and prefer a quiet, established routine over constant change.

16: Pi : Pack Role: The Circle Keeper. Ritual leaders or judges responsible for internal geometry, boundary lines, and the sacred law of the pack's inner circle. The Principled Fair-Minded: Deeply logical and bound by a strict internal moral code. They value fairness above all else and will fiercely defend the rules or the "right way" of doing things.

17: Rho : Pack Role: The Unyielding Guard. High-density, stubborn shock troops who boast immense physical resistance to pain, poison, or psychic pressure. The Resilient Worker: Possesses immense mental and physical stamina. They are stubborn, thick-skinned, and can grind through tedious, difficult tasks without complaining.

18: Sigma : The lone wolf, independent, highly successful, and non-conforming. Pack Role: The Overseer / Collector. Legitimate lore-keepers who unify disparate pack elements, acting as the living "sum" of the pack's history. The Self-Sufficient Independent: Highly competent but deeply private. They don't look to a group for validation or leadership. They prefer to work alone and manage their own life completely independently.

19: Tau : Pack Role: The Kinetic Engine. Builders, mechanics, and heavy-lifters who apply immense leverage and torque to shape the pack's physical infrastructure. The Hands-On Maker: Practical, physical, and kinesthetic. They love building, fixing, crafting, or figuring out how mechanical objects and systems work in the real world.

20: Upsilon : Pack Role: The Shadow Broker. Deceptive members who project a low-profile aura (low light) but carry immense social or physical weight (high mass). The Low-Profile Undercurrent: Quiet and unassuming on the outside, but holding massive influence or deep talent on the inside. They never brag, letting their quiet actions speak for them.

21: Phi : Pack Role: The Consort / Artist. Selected for natural aesthetic symmetry, they maintain cultural harmony, art, and the pack's public prestige. The Aesthetic Stylist: Has an innate eye for beauty, art, fashion, and balance. They care deeply about presentation, creating beautiful spaces, and making life feel visually and socially elegant.

22: Chi : Pack Role: The Matchmaker / Evaluator. They test the "goodness of fit" between mating pairs and judge whether new recruits are compatible with the pack. The Intuitive Matchmaker: Fascinated by human relationships. They naturally read chemistry between people, knowing exactly who will get along, who will clash, and how to build a cohesive team.

23: Psi : Pack Role: The Mentalist / Shaman. The spiritual or psychological heart of the pack, dealing with trauma, mental bonding, and pack-mind dynamics. The Intuitive Counselor: Deeply psychological and comforting. They are excellent at helping people process trauma, understand their own emotions, and navigate complex mental blocks.

24: Omega : The polar opposite of the Alpha, socially awkward or a low-status outcast.Pack Role: The Ultimate Foundation. Rather than a simple outcast, they are the vital boundary of the pack domain. They absorb the lowest velocity energy, anchoring the entire social ecosystem so the Alphas can fly high. The Grounded Foundation: Safe, humble, and completely lacking in ego. They are the foundational base of the social group—content with a quiet, peaceful life, offering a safe, judgment-free space where everyone else can let their guard down.

Additionals:

Sigma Alpha:

Gamma Alpha:

Alpha Omega:

Gamma: Usually either an "enhanced Beta" or a fertile, non-dominant type. In some settings they're the intellectuals or mediators.

Delta: Often soldiers, protectors, or workers. Some authors make them physically powerful but lacking Alpha dominance.

Epsilon: Rare. Usually either a low-ranking submissive type or a highly adaptable "ordinary" caste. There is no consensus.

Zeta: scouts, explorers, or independent personalities.
Eta: caregivers or family-oriented individuals.
Theta: scholars or mystics.
Iota: quiet, unnoticed people with unusual abilities.
Kappa: artisans or craftsmen.
Lambda: merchants or diplomats.
Mu: healers.
Nu: administrators.
Xi: strategists.
Omicron: communicators.
Pi: inventors.
Rho: farmers or laborers.
Sigma: lone wolves. This is probably the best-known non-core type.
Tau: guardians.
Upsilon: adaptable survivors.
Phi: artists.
Chi: spiritual leaders.
Psi: people with psychic or empathic abilities (common in science fiction Omegaverse).
Omega: reproductive caste.

so, an additional things, is the UnSeelie Court is very superstitious and religious and follow what the Moon Goddess decrease, and no one knows if the Moon Goddess is real or just a made up deity, but that's not important.

what's important is they BELIEVE she is real and they BELIEVE she speaks through Quaraun, and Quaraun has a magic mirror that literally speaks (and is most likely actually a mimic) when he asks it questions, so people will come to Quaraun for him to divine what their career should be or who should they marry and stuff like that, and Quaraun withhold do a mix of reading cards, reading little crystals thrown on a grid, reading and spirit board, making conclusions and then asking the mirror what it all means. so people "decide" their career choices that way in the UnSeelie Court

also this is why BoomFuzzy keeps Quaraun has his royal advisor and royal court mage, and also its not royal court mage like fantasy rpg battle mage, its royal court mage like, granny magic making healing salves and lighting prayer candles and such, a lot like a hoodoo rootworker

but you have to remember too, when Quaraun and BoomFuzzy say "magic" it is their misunderstanding of science and not actually fantasy magic. they are living in the year 39,999 on what used to be Earth.

Just like in Planet of the Apes, the earth is so over grown that things like the statue of liberty are buried. The statue of liberty is a place they encounter in the series, but Quaraun calls the area The City of the Green Goddess Temple, and tells how these huge towers used to be a temple and that big green head sticking out of the sand over their, that's there statue of The Green Goddess, Gia Mother Earth, and Humans used to worship her centuries ago, all the while he'll be waving a New York City coffee table photo book, made for tourism, over his head and declaring it was the Holy Text worshipers of The Green Goddess used.

He can't read the 20th century English in the book, so he has no clue this is a tourist book or thst this is New York City or that the tower was the Empire State Building building or that the Green Goddess is actually the Statue of liberty. people of the 400th century are nearly equivalent to viking iron age, but they dig around to study ancient civilizations and find cars and trucks and computers and Walmart's and such. like Quaraun’s hands are crushed and paralyzed, but he found in ruins "magic enchanted gloves" that allow his hands to move.

he thinks its magic, every one thinks it is magic, but the reality is they are bionic gloves like what are commonly used for stroke victims right now in 2026

Soooo…

THAT is the alpha, Omega, Beta stuff in my series that readers are finding and equating with Omegaverse.

but mine is ACTUAL alpha hierarchy of a LITERAL shapeshifting wolff" pack.

vs, the Omegaverse, near as I can tell, is just mutated Humans how have multiple genders and rotate between them.

a thing I've noticed is Tumblr Omegaverse is VERY similar to my series while ao3 Omegaverse is nothing like what I write.

In the Ao3 version, the characters seem to be this weird alien version of Humans, that have animal urges, but are just humans with differences. The stories are heavily focused on sex and erotica, and have almost no plot or story and seem largely to be an excuse for women to write lots of naked men with strange anatomy.

AO3's Omegaverse largely grew out of fanfiction culture. Because the original framework was developed in fandoms centred on existing human characters (such as Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Sherlock, Marvel, etc.), writers typically started with characters who were already human. Rather than turning them into literal werewolves, they added a secondary biological system: Alpha, Beta, Omega, heats, ruts, scenting, knotting, and so on.

But I'm just finding the ao3 Omegaverse to be dull and boring, as it is nothing but Humans being sex crazed sluts and whores. "wolf" is largely metaphorical. The characters are fundamentally human with an additional biological system.

My series is NOTHING like what I am finding in ao3 Omegaverse.

In the Tumblr version you see LITERAL werewolves and animal shifters, the focus on a Moon Goddess, Omegas competing to become Prime Luna to the Sigma Alpha King; Harry Potter style schools for magical shifters, separate from schools for Humans, hair colours like silver or violet signifying special powers, alphas are not only literal animals who shift into humanoid form but also have powers like controlling lightening or psionics. The stories are rarely sexual, while sexy hot guys exist its more like fluffy sweet romance then erotica, and the stories have often hundreds of chapters, millions of words, telling huge stories and plots..

Unlike ao3, the Omegaverse on Tumblr has literal werewolves and shifters, Moon Goddesses and Moon Gods, magical academies, royal wolf courts, colour-coded powers, hereditary bloodlines, ancient prophecies, political intrigue."wolf" is literal. The characters are actual werewolves, shifters, fae, dragons, or other supernatural beings with cultures of their own.

But it's the Omegaverse on the webnovel apps that is VERY similar to my Pink Necromancer series. My series is more like the ones on the story apps. Like the stories on Pocket FM: Wolves of the Bloodmoon, The Alphas Bride, Moonbound Wolf Saga, Descendants of the Moon, Awakening My Wolf...those have a story line like mine.

Commercial fiction platforms such as Pocket FM, VibeShort, Dreame, GoodNovel, and similar apps seem to be trying to keep readers engaged for hundreds of chapters and full of large-scale plotting, kingdoms, rival packs, succession crises, wars, conspiracies, prophecy, hidden identities, found family, long romance arcs. Even when romance is central, the romance is usually embedded in an ongoing saga rather than existing as the entire story.

Can you explain why this is, why does Tumblr, Pocket fm, VibeShorts, and similar apps, show the Omegaverse as starkly 100% different then ao3 Omegaverse? It's like I would never recognize the two styles as both being Omegaverse because they are so different. And yet both have Alphas seeking Omegas, both have heats/ruts/nesting, both follow wolf packs (though one side has literal werewolves, while the other side is just humans who act like wolves).

I realizzed very quickly I don't like the Omegaverse stuff I'm finding on ao3. a lot of it just reads like children writing sex without knowing what sex is, and it comes off very creepy ick and uncanny valley. it feels like "look ma, I can write sex!!!!!!!" is just the overall vibe. there's no worldbuilding and not much character detail either. its like, they tell you in notes "its star trek" and expect you to know what the world is, then they slap on character names like Kirk and Spock, but then the characters just act like 12 year old and don't act like themselves so its really hard to think its actually Kirk, rather then just some guy with the same name. But then its mostly anime and Manga fandom, and I know nothing about it those, so the name of the fandom means nothing to me, as I've never seen the anime/Manga so I have no clue is the world earth, another planet, viking iron age, French revolution, science fiction, medieval fantasy? they write nothing about the world, and just drop in proper names of places without describing then so I have no context to figure out what the places are or what they look like. And same with the characters. No character descriptions, just name dropping, but I don't know who the characters are. its like they wrote a generic sex scenes and peppered it with a few fandom names and expect me to know who these characters are.

really its just bad writing and it makes hard to get interested in the stories.

I've been just going through so much of the Omegaverse tag, reading so many fics, trying to figure out why people call my work Omegaverse and im really not finding anything even remotely close to my work over on ao3.

on Tumblr I'm finding more writers that are like mine. The heavy focus on Moon Goddess mythos, every one is shapeshifters or werewolves or were dragons or ferries or anthropomorphized animals. Huge amounts of world building lore descriptions, lots of character details described.

but its the app stories where I'm really finding Omegaverse that is VERY close to my series, the huge epic series told in tons a little stories, with Omega main characters and a lot of slice of life stuff... like I found one, that after 10 chapters I looked to see, how many more and it has 64 chapters. then because I was reading that one, another one that was even more similar to mine came up, where there are four male alphas, who are unlike normal alpha and they are competing with each other for who gets to claim the last full blooded she werewolf, and I got 30 chapters in and wondering how many more and it has 710 SO FAR its still being written and like my series its told from the point of view of the Omega

Sooo, yeah, I can see that my series does fall into Omegaverse, but NOT the ao3 fanfiction version of Omegaverse at all, and only mildly the Tumblr version of Omegaverse, but very much strongly the web novel apps version of commercially published Omegaverse.

It should probably be pointed out too, that I did not classify my series as Omegaverse, because as I said, I had only heard of the term "Omegaverse" after the fact.

At the time my series started being called "Omegaverse", I or was calling my series Monster Porn, not Omegaverse, it was actually readers who pointed out Omegaverse was a more appropriate genre classification

And before it being called "Monster Porn" it was being called "Paranormal Romance" and before that even it was being called "Gothic Romance" and for a brief period it got called "Weird Horror Romance", "Absurdist Romance", and "Bizzaro Romance" depending on the publisher.

The thing was, I never stated my series was any genre at all, and it was always publishers and readers saying it was this or that genre.

Me? I always just called it "SciFi" because it was set on a planet in a 5 planet solar system, so it was just "SciFi like Star Trek" to me. Kirk and Spoke went around visiting planets and interacting with each planet's people, and that's what my series does. Its a family of beings, somewhat like Humans but not quite Human who have a spaceship and go back and forth between five different planets and you just see the soap opera like every day domestic lives they live while they travel. It's kind of "Little House on the Prairie if they were Elves in Space" and I never tried to classify it at all.

But publishers, book sellers, and readers want books lined up in neat little rows by genre and it really his hard to put my series in any one genre, because one story might lean more towards Romance while the next story might lean more towards Horror and the next story might lean more towards who he hell knows what.

The thing is I simply don't sit down and think "Here's a list of tropes required to be this genre, I want to write this genre so I'll use these tropes."

• Instead I sit down with: "Quaraun is pissed off because someone spilt jam on his cloak and now he's bitching at everyone and kicking servants off the roof"... uhm... what genre is that? Ya know?

Readers have pointed out that there is a series called "Supernatural" (which I'm not sure if it's a book series or a TV series or an anime or a manga or something else, no one has ever told me what exactly it is that "Supernatural" is, like how Americans never tell you what left/right means when they yell at you screaming "you fucking leftist!" or how Americans never tell you what red pill or blue pill means when they walk up to you and ask "red pill or blue pill which are you, quick, quick, tell me what you are!"... llikewise, Americans don't tell me what "Supernatural" is when they say to me "damn this is Omegaverse just like Supernatural!". Uhm... okay? What the fuck? I had to ask Google what even the fuck an Omegaverse was, and Google had very conflicting histories and origins, and who the fucks knows.

I don't know what left vs right means, I don't know what red pill vs blue pill means, I don't know what supernatural is, because I thought the word supernatural meant ghosts and shit, but apparent it means something else as well? but I do know, that after several THOUSAND readers told me my books were Omegaverse, I decided it was high time I find out, what exactly Omegaverse was.

In my series, the term Alpha and Omega comes from The Alpha Omega Cult from the 1970s movie Beneath The Planet of the Apes which is my favourite Planet of the apes movie and which my series heavily is fanfiction of. So the use of Alpha, Omega, Beta, Delta, Gamma, and all the rest of the Greek alphabet (yes, ALL exist in my universe) come from the BIBLE meanings of said words and how those words were used in Planet of the Apes, which is why they are quite different, but still similar too, how standard Omegaverse uses them. I wonder if it was my use of these words that actually caused people to think "Omegaverse" when reading my work? Because I did have to turn to Google to find out what the word Omegaverse even was when readers started saying that is what my books were.

the term Omegaverse started to be be applied to my series, (by readers, but not by me), in 2012 after the release of the The Night of the Screaming Unicorn which heavily featured the knotting scenes, and and was republished on Amazon in 2014

BoomFuzzy is a double dicked Unicorn known for knotting and Quaraun was thought by readers to be a pregnant cis male for several years... and my novels containing those things were published in 1987 and 1996, long before either the internet or Supernatural. Also pregnant males can be found in folklore all over the world, dating back thousands of years years, so Supernatural did not invent the idea of mpreg. wolf pack logic can be found as far back as the story of Remus and Romulus and the founding of Rome, plus the common use of Alpha males vs Beta males came from a(later proved inaccurate)wolf research book published in the 1950s. Again many years before Supernatural

Weird thing is readers were saying stuff about "supernatural" being the originator of knotting and Mpreg, and also saying that Supernatural was a mid/late 2000's thing.

Uhm.

BoomFuzzy is a double dicked Unicorn known for knotting and Quaraun was thought by readers to be a pregnant cis male for several years... and my novels containing those things were published in 1987 and 1996, long before either the internet or the Supernatural that people were referring too. And I was far from the first to write humanoid males with knotting capabilities, because I had originally got the knotting idea from an Erotica book, that I forget now what the name was, but it was a Werewolf Shifter Romance, a paperback novel, obviously published before 1987 because mine was published in 1987. They were called Gothic Romances back then. I was reading Gothic Romances that featured vampires and shifters and so my series was at the time being sold as Gothic Romance. But my book has a line in it where quaraun asks BoomFuzzy "But you're not a wolf, you're a horse" to which BoomFuzzy replied "I'm a Phooka, I can be anything I want or multiple parts of anything I want. I hate being a wolf. Wolves spend spend half their lives shoving their noses up each others arses. I hate running around sniffing everyone's arse, so I decided to be a Unicorn so I could be hung like a horse, and I took knotting from wolves, so I could knot, while be hung like a horse."

Side note I own ALL of the 310 volumes of Nocturn published by Harlequin (i'm a subscriber to several Harlequin books in the mail series, this was one of many, I love Harlequin books, I am also the proud owner of all 3,821 Fabio books published by Zebra in the early 1990s, because I susbriced to those to; and I originally imagined BoomFuzzy as looking like Fabio in the early stories because of it), the first volume of Nocture was published in 2006 and about 3/4s of those 310 books feature Werewolves, knotting, Alphas vs Omegas, and these also heavily influenced Quaraun and BoomFuzzy'e relationship and terminology after the 2006 volumes of my series.

So, Omegaverse was not where I set my sites. I was just writing weird bizzaro, wonky Shifter Romance with a Phooka who could turn into any animal he wanted. In fact his being a shifter was used to explain what he was describes as white and looking like Fabio in earlier stories and Black and looking like King Ezikial in later stories. There are stories where he outright says he was a fan of Fabio so took to shifting to look like him for a while. Then later there are stories where he says he was a fan of King Ezikial and shifted to look like him instead. In fact, many stories state that no one knows what BoomFuzzy actually looks like and some characters speculate that he is in fact a Gelatinous Cube Mimic in his true form.

Also pregnant males can be found in folklore all over the world, dating back thousands of years years, so Supernatural did not invent the idea of mpreg. wolf pack logic can be found as far back as the story of Remus and Romulus and the founding of Rome, plus the common use of Alpha males vs Beta males came from a(later proved inaccurate)wolf research book published in the 1940s. Again many years before Supernatural, which I'm told came out in 2005, but did not do it's Omegaverse thing until 2010? I do not have a TV, and I have not had a TV since I was 8 years old, so any TV show after 1981, I have not seen and so if you try to reference it as part of your vocabulary, I'm gonna have zero iota of clue what the fuck you are going on about.

Readers classify my work as many things, but "Omegaverse" has been the top category that most readers tell me it is, thus why I started looking into Omegaverse history.

So, it appears that the actual WORD "omegaverse" itself originates from the Supernatual franchise, but that the GENRE that the word gets applied to started in 1969 with Ursula K. Le Guin. But that the genre itself started to form in the 1800s, and was being in the 1800s inspired by ancient folklore dating back to ancient Greek mythology. So, the genre is somewhere around ten thousand years old, but did not solidify into what it is today on ao3 until 2021 and Covid shutdowns leaving millions of teens not allowed to go to school and so rushing to ao3 to write fanfiction.

So the more precise description might be something like: my work contains elements that later became associated with Omegaverse, while developing from earlier Gothic romance and shapeshifter traditions. Meaning my xposure to the modern online Omegaverse community came after meaning own series had already existed for decades. So when readers in the 2010/2020s were applying the term to my work, they were bringing their genre vocabulary to my pre-existing world, and trying to make it fit... which is WHY my series falls under the "Omegaverse Umbrella" but strays quit largely away from what is deemed to be "Omegaverse norms".

Readers were acting like "It's got knotting there fore it's Omegaverse" while simultaneously telling me "You took knotting from Supeernatural" about a book I had published in 1987!

Readers were acting like "It's got pregnant males there fore it's Omegaverse" while simaltaniously telling me "You took pregnant males from Supernatural" again about a book I had published in 1987!

There were acting like at no point in history had knotting every existed or had pregnant males ever existed or Alpha males never existed before Supernatural... and... uhm... really? Have you ever even encountered the world we live in?

Male pregnancy as a storytelling concept is much, much older than internet fandom. It appears in mythology, folklore, religion, and speculative fiction from many cultures. A few well-known examples include:

Loki becoming pregnant and giving birth to Sleipnir in Norse mythology.

Zeus giving birth to Dionysus after carrying him in his thigh in Greek mythology.

Numerous Indigenous and traditional folklore stories involving gender transformation and pregnancy.

Science fiction throughout the 20th century exploring altered reproduction long before fanfiction adopted the term "mpreg."

Likewise, knotting wasn't invented by Supernatural fandom either. It's simply based on canine anatomy (the bulbus glandis), and references to it appear in werewolf fiction and erotic/speculative literature well before the internet. You can find knotting mentioned in werwolf books published in the 1500s over three hundred YEARS before the internet existed!

Heck, have you ever watched Rebel without a Cause staring James Dean, a movie from the 1950s that uses Alpha Male and Lone Wolf terms and treats the rival gangs of teens like they were wolf packs? 1950s! People were using the terms alpha Males and Beta Males and Omega Females and Lone Wolf and Wolf Pack.

Look at Clan of the Cave Bear.

Alpha/Beta terminology predates Omegaverse by decades. The terminology became popular after Rudolph Schenkel's 1947 observations of captive wolves and David Mech's 1970 book The Wolf. Although Mech later revised those conclusions after studying wild wolves, the terminology had already entered popular culture and was widely used throughout the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s.

So when people say "Supernatural invented Omegaverse," that's an oversimplification.

A more historically accurate way to describe it is:

The building blocks (wolf hierarchy, knotting, male pregnancy, pheromones, reproductive cycles, dominance hierarchies, speculative biology) all existed independently for decades, and in some cases for centuries or millennia.
What the late-2000s fandom did was combine many of those building blocks into the particular Alpha/Beta/Omega framework that became standardised and then spread across fandoms.

I'm sorry, but pack life, the terms Alpha, Omega, Beta, and stories wih knotting and pregnen males have been around for thousands of years and ain't nothing new.

ah, I should also note too, I only discovered ao3 in 2025, so I had no clue the website even existed less then 6 months ago.

So is it Omegaverse?

Well?

Yes, but also no.

I mean after looking it up to find out what it was, yeah, it's the old school type of Omegaverse that was found on Tumblr. But it's the FURRY type, where characters are LITERAL ANIMALS WHO SHAPESHIFT INTO HUMAN LIKE FORMS

It is NOT the ao3 type of Omegaverse where it is Humans who have alternate genders.

Because:

1: My characters are NOT Humans. My characters are monsters who can shapeshift and take on human-like forms.

2: Alternative genders do not exist. There are males, females, non-binery, intersex, and transgender (transmen and transwomen) and that's it.

3: The Omegaverse has only Alpha, Beta, Omega. But my series has the entire Greek alphabet.

4: The Alpha, Beta, Omega logic of the Omegaverse IS itself actual alternative genders. But my series, Alpha means fertile male, Omega means fertile female, Beta means sterile.

5: In the Omegaverse, Omegas are serving class workers. In my series Betas are serving class workers.

6: In the Omegaverse the words Alpha, Omega, Beta come from the wolf book publishing in 1947. In my series the terms Alpha, Omega, come from the Bible and the fact that God called himself "The Alpha and Omega, the beginning of the world and the end of the world, I created life and I destroy life", and in my series Quaraun calls himself "The Alpha-Omega" while also stating that he is "The Oldest of the Elder Gods, the Creator of Life, The Destroyer of Life, I am The Mother Brain, Ruler of The Elder Gods, Mother of the Gods, I created the Gods, no life can exist unless I say so!"

And yet, all the heats, ruts, knotting, such things that one finds in the Omegaverse, are featuring heavily in my series, particularly the nesting fetish that makes up large portions of literally every single story.

My series began in the 1970s.

The word Omegaverse did not seem to exist prior to 2010, near as i can tell.

My series incorporated concepts in the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s, that later became associated with Omegaverse.

My series was published decades before the modern fandom popularized the label "omegaverse".

Around 2012, readers familiar with contemporary Omegaverse started recognizing those similarities between it and my series and began calling my work Omegaverse....without looking at the publication dates of my books

That means my series was NOT influenced by the modern Omegaverse movement.

Rather, it means readers found it similar enough to place it under that umbrella.

But the question is, should it be there?

Well, I think, yes, actually. Why do I think that?

I have several life threatening allergies and I avoid the things I'm llergic too. In April I accidently came into contact with one of my allergies and did not realize it, until about 2 hours later, when massive symptoms appeared... April 2026... I am writing this now in July 2026, because, for he first time in FOUR MONTHS my log sized swollen hands has gone down to a normal size and I can type again.

I've not had use of my left arm since a stroke in 2010.

I've not had use of my right arm, since an allergy attack four months ago, so I couldn't type, I couldn't draw, I couldn't paint, I couldn't make YouTube videos, couldn't make TikTok videos, but I can read.

So I did.

For the first time in my life, I went to ao3, and started reading Omegaverse. I just spent four months, from April 2026 to July 2026 reading Omegaverse stories on ao3 to find out, what exactly IS this Omegaverse that people keep saying me books are?

Yep.

I will agree, my books certainly fall into being some form of Omegaverse.

As I've pointed out, there are differance.

But as my readers kept pointing out, boy oh boy are there similarities.

Now as I said before, I come from Tumblr fanfiction circles, in the Furry genre, so the ao3 circles of the Omegaverse genre are new to me, brand new to me from the past couple of weeks.

I can see a HUGE overlap.

Furries of Tumblr have the same knotting, heats, ruts, mpreg, Alphas, Omegas, etc of the Omegaverse of ao3, but not EXACTLY the same.

I'm fascinated by this because it's pretty clear to see that both evolved out of the same Paranormal Romance roots and, then each branched off their own directions.

So I see overlaps and I see divergances, and than I look at my series, and, mine never stayed fully in Furry because it's "furry ajacent" but not Furry.

I had rejections endlessly from submitting my series stories into Furry online magazines, all of which said my characters were "not Furry enough".

And I can see that if I tried submitting to Omegaverse ezines, I would get rejected for "not Omegaverse enough".

So, it's kind of "Omega-ish Furry Adjactent" but, it's just way more Harlequin Nocturne based Shifter fluff more then it is either Furry or Omegaverse.

In my series, the term Alpha and Omega comes from The Alpha Omega Cult from the 1970s movie Beneath The Planet of the Apes which is my favourite Planet of the apes movie and which my series heavily is fanfiction of.

So the use of Alpha, Omega, Beta, Delta, Gamma, and all the rest of the greek alphabet (yes, ALL exist in my universe) come from the BIBLE meanings of said words and how those words were used in Planet of the Apes, which is why they are quite different, but still similar too, how standard Omegaverse uses them.

I wonder if it was my use of these words that actually caused people to think "Omegaverse" when reading my work?

Because I did have to turn to Google to find out what the word Omegaverse even was when readers started saying that is what my books were.

it is very plausible that my use of the Greek-letter terminology was one of the things that made readers think of Omegaverse?

One interesting thing about genre labels is that readers usually do not identify a genre from a single element.

They recognize a cluster of signals.

In the case of Omegaverse, it seems that readers associate the label with combinations of things like: Alpha/Omega terminology, biological or social caste systems, non-human or altered species, reproductive differences, instinct versus social rules, hierarchy language, pack or group dynamics, gangster crime lord Romance anti hero called The Alpha while he beats the shit out of and nearly kills his pregnant Omega.

So if a reader encounters a story with Alphas, Betas, Omegas, additional Greek-letter classifications, unusual biology, a violent blood thirsty love interest, and social roles, their brain is likely to connect it to the modern Omegaverse category, even if the author arrived there through a completely different historical path. Right?

Is that was is happening here?

I feel like that is what has happened here.

The especially interesting part is my case is that my series use of the words is coming from a different lineage. My system rooted in: the Biblical use of Alpha and Omega as symbolic opposites ("the beginning and the end"), the Alpha and Omega imagery from Beneath the Planet of the Apes, broader science-fiction ideas about altered societies, and my own long-running worldbuilding based largely off Scottish folklore and books by Brian Froud.

That is a different origin point from the modern online Alpha/Beta/Omega shorthand, isn't it?

The overlap is also a little ironic: the modern Omegaverse borrowed heavily from older cultural ideas about wolves, dominance, hierarchy, reproduction, and speculative biology, while your system appears to have developed through older science-fiction and mythic symbolism. Two different paths ended up using some of the same vocabulary.

The Greek alphabet itself is probably a big clue. Most modern Omegaverse readers are used to seeing: Alpha, Beta, Omega with occasional Gamma, Delta, or Sigma additions. And my series has those.

however, I noticed that the most fics have just Alpha, Omega, and once in a while Beta, while a few add Delta's and or Gamma, and I've only ever seen 1 which had Epsilon. But there are 26(27?) letters in the Greek alphabet and presumably all letters are represented NOT within the Omegaverse.

yet Indeed my own series states that there exists ranks for all the Greek letter, having Epsilon, Mu, Iota, Pi, Zeta, Kappa, etc.

But I was wondering, does the Omegaverse use the entire Greek alphabet, or is it just Alpha, Omega, Beta, Delta, Gamma?

A setting where characters are classified through a much larger Greek-letter system would stand out. A reader who already knows Omegaverse might think, "This has a similar structure," and apply the closest available label they know.

Discovering AO3 only in 2025 also explains why the modern terminology and conventions is mostly unfamiliar to me. Near as I can tell a lot of the Omegaverse vocabulary developed in online spaces where writers were rapidly sharing, remixing, and standardizing ideas, but doing so in place i was not myself participating in. So someone like myself who was not participating in those spaces would have no reason to know those conventions. But ironically we use a lot of the same phrases but with slightly different meanings to vastly different meanings.

I think too that this is actually a good example of why genre labels can be tricky. A label like "Omegaverse" can describe a set of recognizable features for readers, but it does not necessarily describe the creator's origin point or influences. Readers are seeing the Omegaverse in my work, even though I did not know the Omegaverse existed.

My BoomFuzzy example especially shows that difference. A modern reader might notice knotting, unusual penis anatomy, and relationship dynamics and categorize it through a modern lens. But the creative chain is had for inspiration went through shifter romance and folklore rather than through AO3 culture. But oddly resulted in near identical terminologies, with similar meanings, but not entirely the same.

the influences feeding into my series were coming from a much older mixture of Gothic romance paperbacks, vampire and werewolf romances, folklore shapeshifters, Faerie and trickster traditions, older science fiction ideas about altered societies, Planet of the Apes imagery, and Romance cover aesthetics from the 1980s and 1990s…and yet it seems these things were not influencers for Omegaverse?

Basically what is happening is readers are seeing me using shifter romance elements, knotting, non-human romance, unusual reproductive biology, Alpha/Omega terminology, mafia social hierarchy language,
and thought: "This sounds like Omegaverse."

It seems we have a retroactive genre classification happening here, where an author writes something before a genre name exists, and later readers apply the newer term because it helps them explain the work to others.

So is my series Omegaverse?

Maybe?

I don't know.

I just don't know the Omegaverse genre well enough (at all) to say if it is or not.

Have I ever mentioned I hate sex?

I hate smut.

I hate Erotica.

And I especially hate people who lump my books into the vile smutty, sex filled category of Erotica, so I really have questions as to why my books are getting called omegaverse.

But also, I hate people who contact me asking me to add sex scenes to my books.

the thing people are not considering, when they call my work Erotica is how incredibly offensive that is, they forget there could be an actual REASON for writing no smutt... one related to real world trauma. I was SAed many times as a child, by adults (2 uncles and the sunday school president of our church) who should have been men I could trust. I had my first miscarriage at age 12, and miscarriage was what THEY called it, after they shoved me in a shower stall and kicked me in the stomach until they were sure the baby was dead, then locked the bathroom door and left me there for 3 days to "make sure I didn't get blood all over the house, so annoying to have to clean it off the rugs".

I had SEVEN of these miscarriages by the time I was 18 years old.

Needless to say as an adult I have an EXTREME HATRED for sex, smut, and erotica. I neither read nor write it and I block any reader demanding it.

My parents, used 12 year old me as a fucking breeder to high priests at the Cape Elizabeth church, because my mother was infertile and THAT is WHY I wrote Quaraun being kept as a breeder, locked up by an insane infertile bitch who didn't give a shit about him and just kept hiring men to rape, rape, rape, rape, rape....I wrote Quaraun wanting to not be female anymore, because that's all that ever went through my head... I fucking hated being female, I hated that my mother saw me as nothing but a breeder to pop out babies for her obsession with having a son... so I wrote Rapunzel, being used the same way and hating it and finally escaping and living as a man after escaping to try to forget the shirt his crazed infertile overlord did to him...

That's the whole reason, they -my parents- took me out of Old Orchard Beach Loranger School when I was 8. Because I started my period when I was 8. And all I ever was to my parents, was a fucking breeder, that's why they kept me locked in funking woodshed they called a room for 27 years, from the time I was 8 years old until I escaped it at age 31. I was pregnant 7 times before I was 16 years old, and they took my babies away every single time... and THAT is why that's how the Quaraun series starts... because I was sick of my mother selling my to high priests of her church, just because she was infertile and obsessed with needing to have a so and she thought having priests rape me endlessly was the way to get a baby... well, guess what... no matter how many rape babies she stole from me, not a one of them are hers and she knows it.

I committed the crime of being born female, and my mother told me that every damned day: "you filthy little competition bitch, I wanted a boy! you committed the sin of being born female! you fucking good for nothing four eyed retard! I didn't commit any sin, so why the fuck did god fucking punish me with a fucking female! you are unloved and unwanted you filthy little competition bitch!"

I grew up, endlessly wish I was male, and that's why I wrote Quaraun as living as a male and using he/him/his male pronouns after he discarded his past as Rapunzel.

I think, it is more of a case of, my series was heavily influenced by the same things which heavily influenced the Omegaverse and so, we are seeing the two things both featuring a lot of the same tropes, a lo of the same terms, and a lo of the same features.

And yet, I am hesitant to outright say "This is Omegaverse" because, as I said, my series predates the word "Omegaverse" by a full forty years, and calling it "Omegaverse" would imply that I created to to be Omegaverse, which I did not.

For now, I can in fact see WHY my readers call i Omegaverse and why, yes, in terms of marketing, it probably should be shelved with Omegaverse and listed as being Omegaverse genre.

But people looking for Omegaverse seem to be looking for sex and Erotica, whereas my series is largely about family, raising a huge amount of children and trying to survive a zombie apocalypse.

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy have well over a hundred children...remember this is SciFi type cybertech era Omegaverse where most people are ancestors of of "Island of Dr Moreau" style mad scientist type experiments that had been done to try to cross animals with Humans/Elves/and Faeries; the experiments were done thousands of years ago, but still thousands of years after the 20th century, and this is why there are Omegaverse-x-Furry type animal features people, like Quaraun who though an Elf has rabbit dna and a parasitic alien jellyfish living in his skull, which is why Quaraun, who is a transman who never had surgery, gives birth to litters of around 8 babies, that he calls kits, per pregnancy, and thus why him and BoomFuzzy have 100+ pre teen and toddler children in addition to 100+ teenaged children, and require the help of 37 handmaids to raise said children. Quaraun and BoomFuzzy have more then a hundred children together, and a lot of the stories feature said children.

A big part of the stories is the nesting fetish, with the bulk of the stories set when Quaraun is a few weeks to a few days away from going into labour, and you see him weaving silk, making yarn, making baby blankets, shawls, ect. You see BoomFuzzy going into a hyper cooking frenzy at the same time, because he knows once the kits are born it's none stop work with the babies and so time to cook is not going to be easy to find, so in the days before the labour he's cooking up a storm of foods that are easy to prep days ahead. You see the handmaids helping with chores, and you see GhoulSpawn doing a lot of the manual/heavy works loads. 

It's Omegaverse, that focuses on the period of the main character 8 to 9 months pregnant, and the hyper nesting phase that happens as everyone in the household is getting everything ready for the new babies to arrive.

The other stuff (heats, ruts, weird biology) doesn't ever get seen on page, and is always just mentioned in passing in conversations.

My series falls in the Sweet Domestic Family side of the Omegaverse, which is rarely touched on by most  Omegaverse writers.

Most writers build massive world building lore around the Omegaverse, but then write ONLY the finding mates and erotica spicy sex scene stuff, and then completly ignore the entire rest of the world completly.

Like, we as readers know the world exists, and has more then heat/rut/mating rituals, but we never see any of the rest of the world at all. So, mine fills that empty space, and answers the question: so, yeah, what is life like for the omegaverse families AFTER the heats/ruts/mating orgies are over and they go back to normal every day life in their world?

So, my series, completly skips the heat/rut/mating scenes, there are enough writers pout there already focused on that part of the Omegaverse... my series instead focuses on the rest of the worldbuilding in the Omegaverse.

For me it's about writing what I wanted to read.

I don't care if other people like it or not, because I like it, and that's all that matters, because I write it for me, and if others like it to, great, but if others don't like it, well, it doesn't matter because they weren't the ones I was writing it for to begin with.

See, here's thing: I love reading Omegaverse.

But more then that, I love worldbuilding in the Omegaverse.

Omegaverse writers are like the most awesome worldbuilders. And I read their worldbuilding lore and I am just loving all the back stories on how and why people became part animal or have animal dna, and I'm loving the whole lore behind family dynamics and such... and I want to read STORIES, not just lore posts on Tumblr, but ACTUAL FICS set in these worlds.

I love the worldbuilding people put into Omegaverse. People are always writing up these huge worldbuilding lore posts over on tumblr, that are amazing, then they end the post with a link to their ao3 that says some form of "my stories set in this world can be read here" and I'll click the link, EXPECTING to actually read stories that TAKE PLACE IN THIS PHYSICAL PLANET/COUNTRY/TOWN/VILLAGE where I'll get to see the Omegasa around town shopping and chatting with other Omegasa, see the Alphas at their jobs doing work/careers, see the home life and the families raising their children cooking meals...

.... I'm imagining "Oh boy, it'll be awesome, like Little House on the Prairie but Omegas and Alphas; I'll finally get to see Omegas and Alphas living their lives!!! YEAH!"

And then I get to their Ao3 page, start reading their fics and am left thinking "What the actual fuck? Where's the world? What is this? This isn't the world they posted about on Tumblr? Where's the awesome world? This is just a sex scene in a bedroom. I don't want that. I want to see these characters actually doing things around town!"

I love the Omegaverse.

But I really hate sex.

I'm asexual of the type that finds sex repulsive. I don't want sex near me. I hate the thought of sex. I hate writing sex. I hate reading sex.

And Omegaverse fics frustrate me so much, because over on Tumblr the writers are building these mega awesome worlds, with amazing lore, but then over on aoe, the fics are just sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex,.... the characters never leave the bedroom and go out into that world and do anything in that world AT ALL, EVER!

What is the point of building these huge massive amazing world, if your characters never leave the bedroom and go out and do anything in it?

Sooooo...

I decided to write my own Omegaverse, but avoid sex entirely. Never write sex. Instead, write the lives of the characters.

so... yeah, it's very much Omegaverse with all the wild Omegaverse tropes, but it's like say you have a DnD campaign, and you got fed up with how the players ONLY fight monsters and you wanted to let the players experience the domestic side of the world? It's like that.

Imagine a Dungeons and Dragons fantasy campaign where the players have just defeated the dragon.

Most stories end there.

My stories begin there.

Now they have to:

• repair the roof the dragon burned
• replant the fields
• wash the soot out of everyone's blankets
• rebuild the bakery
• deliver babies
• shear the sheep
• weave replacement clothing
• cook dinner for fifty refugees
• figure out who is sleeping where tonight

When I read other writers' Omegaverse stories, I'm always left wondering: Okay, that's how heats and ruts work in your world, now they've fucked, okay, all that boring crap is out of the way, now we get to see them live life... wait, what do you mean the end? How is that the end? Really? You ended with the sex?

Who wants to read sex?

Sex is boring.

You mean you're NOT going to write ANYTHING about how these characters actually live their lives?

What the fuck did you do all that worldbuilding for if all you was gonna write was sex?

All you did was give us readers exposition world lore dumps followed by a sex scene, when does the fucking story start?

SEX IS NOT A STORY!

SEX IS NOT PLOT!

SEX IS FILLER!

You can literally remove all references to sex, all sex scenes from EVERY STORY EVER WRITING IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF HUMANITY and have ZERO EFFECT on the story and plot.

And if you remove the sex and have NOTHING LEFT, well, honey you never had a story to begin with.

Yeah.

Well, you know how everyone always says to write the story you want to read?

That's what I did.

I wanted to read about domestic life in the Omegaverse setting and no one was writing domestic lives in the Omegaverse because they were too busy writing sex scene, so I started my series AFTER the sex scenes, to show:

This is family life in the Omegaverse setting.

Most stories, regardless of genre, ask:

• "What happens when extraordinary people face extraordinary events?"

My stories ask:

• "What happens to the ordinary average joe common folk on Tuesday morning?"

That's a surprisingly rare question in speculative fiction, apparently.

Yes, that was a rant vent.

But... it like, because I'm writing for myself, writing the story that I want to read, writing the story that I could not find out there written by other, it kind of doesn't matter to me if the writing is garbage, if the grammar is bad, if the spelling is terrible, if it compares to the skill of other writers, because, my goal is not to write the best thing ever, my goal is to have fun writing the fun thing I wanted to read about fun characters having fun in a fun world setting.

Fun, is literally the goal here, so, I'm not worrying: "Does my writing suck?" because, yeah, my writing probably does suck. but did I have fun writing it? Hell, yeah I did!

So for me it's all about not thinking about what other writers are doing at all, not caring if other writers write better, and just focusing on the fun of the act of writing fun things.

I hate sex, in case you hadn't noticed, so yeah, nothing is going to piss me off faster then then fucking jackasses accusing my work of being Erotica!

Updated to answer this question:
How long have you been working on your world?
Are you planning on publishing?

>How long have you been working on your world? Are you planning on publishing?

I love when someone claims to be a fan, claims to read my work, then asks "so, when are you publishing?"... uhm... what? You just said you read everything I wrote...

I was publishing before I was worldbuilding. I guess I'm the reverse of most people, because I did not start worldbuilding until much later.

I published my first book in 1978... (Note, I said book, not novel, because for some reason people hear book and think novel, and I'm tired of the endless hateful Reddit comments on all my posts about it, thus why I'm added this note. Book means "4 or more pages bound together by a cover, it may be blank, it may be illustrated, and it may be fiction or non-fiction" whereas novel means "a lengthy work of fiction, usually regarded as any work of fiction at minimum 200 pages or 50k words long".) I published my first book in 1978. It was a 16 pages illustrated children's book, I'm not sure the word count, but it was under a 1k words, probably under 500 words.

In any case, I was a toddler, had drawn out pages in crayon, and the adults thought entered it into so contest and it one and got published, which as I was 3 years old, really meant nothing to me at all as I had no concept of what being published even ment.

Adults started doing the hyper fixation on money, money, money, money, money, oh boy I can make my three year old baby do the work, I can get money for doing nothing, thing (which, again, at the time I was too young to realize that is what my uncles were doing) so suddenly I was daily being handed paper and demanded "write the next one" without having any concept of what books even were or how ...because again, at three years old I was LITERALLY STILL A BABY that was not yet talking or walking (things that should have been major medical concerns as it turned out I have severe medical disabilities that were being ignored, so the adults around me could have money, money, money, money, money, oh boy I can make my three year old baby do the work, I can get money for doing nothing.

The first story was a cat with pet eels (EelKat), her merman friend (Etiole), and their sheep chauffeur (Gremlin/Ghoulspawn), driving across the brooklyn bridge while it was collapsing, and then visiting a haunted house (The Twighlight Manor) that eats people.

Since adults wanted "the next story", it was the cat and her eels and her merman friend, with their sheep chauffeur, exploring the haunted house and finding a dead king (King Vielder Swanzen) sleeping in his bed. (I did not understand death, ghosts, or sleeping yet, so, it is what it is).

Each story was a result of the day after publishing (stealing) my stories the adults being "so, write what happened next".

When I was 10 years old, after 7 years of this and well over 500 stories published... with me still not yet learned how to talk and not yet started walking, and also not yet being sent to school because my uncles felt no incentive to let me have an education, they just wanted money, money, money, money, money, oh boy I can make my child do the work, I can get money for doing nothing... I wrote a story about vultures in a gold castle sitting on a cloud, at the time vultures were my favourite bird thanks to a Sweet Pickles book, called "Kiss Me, I'm Vulture!" There was no cat, no eels, no merman, no sheep chauffeur, no dead king, and no haunted house, and the uncles were furious.

They demanded to know why I had not continued to story: "speak damn it, tell me right now"... I proceed to draw my answer out in crayon... got a beaten for not SPEAKING an answer... and for the first time in my entire ten years of life, the adults suddenly realized "wait... is she mute? has any one ever noticed, if she's ever talked? did she cry as a baby?

It took my parents and uncles 10 years to notice I have never made a single vocal sound since I was born...and this is what lead to worldbuilding.

The adults wanted more stories about the cat with her eels and her merman friend and the dead king in the haunted house, because they wanted money, money, money, money, money, oh boy I can make my child do the work, I can get money for doing nothing, but I gave them a 12 foot tall vulture headed man bird creature (King Daemeon) in a castle (The Golden Palace) on a cloud instead, and they were going full meltdown demanding to know how and why this was the next story in the set and what did it have to do with the cat, you better come up with a reason this is the same story or I'll beat the shit out of you... so the next story had the cat again, showed her (EelKat) marry the vulture (King Dameon), then steal her land from her, enslave all the cats (The Ptarmagin Kats), throw them off the cloud, they landed in the swamp below (The Swamps of planet Ptarmagin).

That story was the first attempt at actual worldbuilding. Adults then demanding to know why this and why that, and each story to follow became answers to why whatever it was.

By the time I was 12 years old there were maps of 5 inhabited planets, that included city street maps, and a blueprint of the haunted house, showing each room and with lists of every item in each room. Still not talking or walking yet by the way, at 12 years old, and the department of human services had started showing up, so a "hide from humans" sort of plot line got added to the stories that was fully based off my uncles' panic mode of stuffing children in woodsheds so the government social workers don't find them. The main character being locked in a room with no windows and being left there was based off my own being locked in an identical room, from the time I was 8 years old, until I escaped 27 years later at age 31.

Worldbuilding as what I see most people here talking about, was never a thing I did.

Worldbuilding was then, back in the 1970s and 1980s, was always: I wrote a story that my uncles thought did not match the previous story, so I had to write a worldlore type story to bridge the two stories to be the same world.

So it was always: write a story. Now write what happens next story. Now write a worldbuilding lore story to explain how the fuck those two stories exist in the same world with each other.

And now in 2026 with 138 novels, 423 novellas, 500+ poems, 2k+ drabbles, and 3k+ short stories published since 1978, I now have 750+ 3-ring binders and college rule notebooks full of the unpublished "world lore stories" that make up the world building of the series. And I constantly reference back to these when writing my current stories.

My worldbuilding method today is still the same as it was five decades ago.Write a story. Then write a world lore story to explain how that story fits the series.

>How long have you been working on your world? Are you planning on publishing?

48 years

My 50th anniversary of both worldbuilding and publishing are two years from now.

Updated to answer this question:
But why does the Omegaverse have all the weird gender bending and pregnant males in it? Like every writer has that in their lore. Males get pregnant, females are fathers, there are all these secondary genders that aren't male or female. Why? What are "male" and "female" in ABO?
If omegas have equipment to get pregnant and alphas can inseminate... I know human biology is more complicated than that, but what makes a character male or female in phenotype?

The thing is, in the old style Omegaverse they are not Humans. That's the difference. And I think a lot of the current era fic writers have never read the old original Omegaverse stories of 2005 MySpace or Tumblr or the old 2007 to 2012 era Omegaverse novels on Amazon, so they end up writing stuff that does not match the old original lore, thus causing confusion.

It seems like a lot of new writers don't know the old history of how us early Omegaverse writers were writing, so maybe if you knew why we were writing it, it'd help you understand why Omegaverse evolved into what it is now?

Omegaverse is a subGenre of Furry Genre, so Alphas and Omegas are never Humans. They are Furries who can mostly pass as Human-like, but don't look Furry enough to remain in Furry society, so live alongside of Humans.

Betas are Humans, no different then real world Humans.

Alphas and Omegas are the Furries who live among Humans because they looked to Human to live with the regular Furries.

Old lore, from early 2000s Tumblr fics and early 2000s novels on Amazon ALWAYS was written with that as the baseline knowledge of what the Omegaverse was, and I think a lot of current era fics are no longer doing that?

Also, the Omegaverse back when I was writing it on Tumblr in 2005 and when I was publishing it on CreateSpace in 2007, then later on Amazon in 2010, was generally thought of as H.G.Wells fanfiction of "The Island of Dr. Moreau".

If you don't know the H.G.Wells story: a mad scientists buys an island, collects up all it's animals, and starts injecting them with Human blood (presumable DNA splicing, but DNA was not discovered yet at the time the book was written). Over a period of several year the cougars, bear, lions, etc start talking. Then some of the females give birth to Human/Animal hybrids, that look very animal, but as teenagers they stand upright and walk and talk like Humans. Around this time a shipwreck happens, a guy survives, finds the doctor, at first lives with him like nothing is going on, then one day discovers the animal-human hybrids and sets them free. The guy thinks they are Humans crossed with animals, and does not realize they are animals with slight Human traits,, and no Human mind set. The Hybrids band together as an army and fight back against the mad scientist, burn down everything on the island, the man escapes, and presumable the dr and the hybrids all die in the fire.

Well.... the 1970s movie changed the story from the book, and then a movie in the 1990s changed the story even more.

Between the two movies DNA splicing gets added, and more lore is brought in, particularly lore about how wolves form Alpha/Omega/Beta pack pecking orders (the movies based this off some non-fiction Science research book published in the 1950s, that was later debunked as wolves don't live that way) The movies each added a new character, that was not in H.G.Wells books, a daughter of the doctor. So the ship wrecked guy in the movie has this 20-something young woman to rescue, and that is the primary reason in the movies why he burns down the lab.

In the 1970s movie the VIEWER has already seen that this girl was not Human. She was born a panther whom the doctor successfully transformed into looking Human. The movie ends with the guy escaping the island and taking her with him.

I'm not sure if ALL early Omegaverse stemmed from this, but I know when I was introduced to the Omegaverse in 2005, it was this branch of the Omegaverse that I first found out about.

And the idea because this branch of Omegaverse was this:

After the guy and the girl escaped the island, she had a litter of babies, that were a mix One an Alpha male with very strong animal tendencies. One an Omega female with a strong nesting instinct. One a normal Human, called a Beta, and like a mule was infertile.

From there the lore changes depending on the author, but the bulk of authors had some form of: "She was not the only Hybrid to survive, the rest made it off the island too. They all eventually married Humans and gave birth to triplets, each having an Alpha male, an Omega female, and an infertile Beta... as centuries passed, (meaning Omegaverse of this type is usually set AFTER the 30th or 40th century) the world became populated with more hybrids then pureHumans."

From there each author changes things to fit their world building.

I found the Omegaverse in 2005 and was fascinated with it, because I had grown up in the 1970s, had seen The Island of Dr Moreau, new, when it came out, had read the book right after, and I had started writing my own fanfiction of it back in 1978, which I was still writing in 2005 when I found the Omegaverse online (I found it on MySpace originally, then when MySpace "died" our little Omegaverse community moved to Tumblr and found lots of other Omegaverse writers, and in 2007 we started publishing Omegaverse on CreateSpace, then in 2010 we started publishing it on Amazon, and at the time most people outside the Omegaverse community were calling us "The Kindle Monster Porn Writers")

Well, anyways...

At some point, in real life news, a scientist in Japan crossed jellyfish DNA with rabbits, and a rabbit gave birth to a litter that had green glowing fur (you can usually find videos of the news reports showing the glow in the dark rabbits on YouTube). There was some issues with the litter, I don't remember what, but he ended up abandoning the rabbit tests and start crossing jellyfish DNA with tetras and invented the neon pink "Glowfish Tetras" that are often seen now in pet stores.

Well, jellyfish change gender every 3 or 4 months.

This real world scientist and his jellyfish experiments, got picked up fast by Omegaverse writers, and any writer that added that as lore to the backstory of how Omegas came to exist, suddenly now had Omegas with jellyfish DNA that could change gender.

Thus was the start of some Alphas being born male then later becoming female, while some Omegas being born female and later becoming male.

I already had several Omegaverse novels on Amazon by that point, so adding the jellyfish lore changed my own worldbuilding a lot. My first novel to include the jellyfish lore aspect was published on Amazon in 2012, and all my books after that stuck with that lore.

In 2014, after my son was murdered in 2013, I stopped interacting with the Tumblr Omegaverse community and stopped writing fanfic to focus on my series on Amazon instead... soooo, I don't know the history of how Omegaverse today ended up with the people now being Humans and not Furries, or why the MASSIVE change to be males with boobs and males who get pregnant without having uterus, and such. I was not on Tumblr for that part of the evolution of the genre.

Clearly something changed dramatically in the twelve years after 2014 to cause Omegaverse to completely drop the Furry aspects and have characters be fully Human now.

As for the "alternate genders" (where there are a lot more then just male and female) that did not exist at ALL in 2014 Omegaverse. And so I don't know the history of how that change occurred. I still write the old school "Island of Dr. Moreau spin-off" type of Omegaverse that Omegaverse was when I found it in 2005. But I would assume the alternate genders type of Omegaverse was a result of the jellyfish/rabbit tests done in Japan in real life, because a lot of Omegaverse writers jumped on that when it was on the news, and we were using it as an excuse to add "Rami 1/2" style gender bending into our stories at the time. I can definitely see how the current era of Omegaverse genres could have evolved out of there.

Weirdly what I see on Ao3 now in 2026, is NOTHING that I would consider Omegaverse AT ALL. It is all Humans, no Furries, no mad scientists gene splicing animal and human DNA to create monsters... in fact NOTHING that I loved about the Omegaverse when I found it in 2005, seems to exist at all in the Ao3 version of the Omegaverse in 2026.

I mean, the way we were writing Omegaverse in 2005 to 2014 MySpace & Tumblr, there were NEVER, EVER, EVER Human characters EVER!!!! To put a HUMAN character in an Omegaverse fic was so insanly taboo back then. Omegaverse was a Furry subgenre and Humans were ALWAYS the enemy, always the big bad, always the evil in need of defeating... and yet now on ao3 in 2026 Alphas and Omegas ARE Humans? What the fuck? How did that happen?

What the fuck happened to make the 2026 ao3 version of Omegaverse be so deep end totally the OPPOSITE of 2005 to 2014 MySpace & Tumblr Furry filled Omegaverse?

If you've read my books, you know Sir Roderic has gone to The Island of Dr. Moreau, Dr Moreau IS a character in my series. My series has the animal test lab and the half-human/half-animals in the cage. There is an whole story arch when Quaraun gets captured by them and enslaved on the island.

My stories published on MySpace (back when MySpace had a publishing format like Tumblr, they did away with it in 2008 which was why I stopped using MySpace in 2008) all had the Island of Dr Moreau as the setting, that's when i added the huge river boat, not yet named The Blue Monkey back then, and had the pirahana people and stuff.

When the MySpace stories got published on Amazon, I changed the name of the doctor and the island, so they were not fanfiction, but in the original versions on MySppace it was straight up Dr. Monroe and his island, right out of the H.G. Wells books.

Updated again to answer the question: "I know I want to write ABO fics but I've never written one so I don't have all my rules ironed out. Any advice?"

Updated again to answer the question: "I know I want to write ABO fics but I've never written one so I don't have all my rules ironed out. Any advice?"

This question came with a huge attachment of worldbuilding lore (I'm not pasting it here because it's specific lore of the question askers own worldbuilding). , but, anyways, their full question was over ten thousand words long, and was a lot of "This is how my Alphas are,...huge 2k piece lore info... should I change anything?" "This is how my Omegas are,...huge 2k piece lore info... should I change anything?" and the thing that stuck out to me was it felt like they were taking Humans and randomly adding weird animal traits all mish mashed, which seems to be common in 2026 "Ao3 style" Omegaverse, but really comes off as NOT being Omegaverse because Omegaverse is ANIMALS who shapeshift into Human form, not Humans with mix and match animal traits.

So, you have a wolf who can shapeshift into a Human and retains wolf traits that make him stand out as not quite Human or a rabbit who can shapeshift into a Human but retains rabbit traits that make her seem uncanny valley in her Human form.

Okay... so, I'm glad you said ABO instead of Omegaverse, as it immediately stands out to say that you mean post-codiv and not pre-covid. A/B/O is a term that rose up from the COVID era writers and readers generally place A/B/O as different from Omegaverse.

Omegaverse RARELY, as in, almost NEVER includes "betas" because the who concept of "betas" is a very new addition to Omegaverse lore, and it's generally only used by new writers who write "Humans who act like animals" and not used by old writers who write "animals who shapeshift into Humans".

I suppose my question would be:

What animal did they get their DNA from? I don't see that mentioned. The Omegaverse is a Furry genre, and it is Animals who have the ability to shapeshift into Human form. The Alphas and Omegas are the animals who can shapeshift to pass as Human, while the Betas are the real Humans. This is the canon base lore of the entire fandom, and you made no mention of the what kind of animals these are.

You also did not give a year/era. Like is Dr. Moreau still alive? Are the vivisections still happening? Is the world still mostly Human and only a few animals have escaped the lab yet? Or are we years after the insurrection of the animals escaping from the lab and setting fire to Dr. Moreau's island? Are we centuries after Moreau's death, and so now it no longer takes vivisections to put Human DNA into the animal in order to give them the ability to shapeshift into Humans?

H.G.Wells wrote Island of Dr. Moreau in 1888, so technically if you stick to the original cannon Omegaverse did not exist before 1888, and would require some sort of time travel logic if set before 1888.

Also, the canon was: wolves, tigers, panther, cheetah, bear, because those are the animals H.G.Wells specifically said Dr. Moreau vivisected with Human blood to give them ability if speech and give them shapeshifting abilities. But most Omegaverse writers of the 1970s and 1980s added lore to state that after Moreau's death other mad scientists vivisected more animal types, so since the 1990s most any animal can show up in Omegaverse and turn into a Human now, using that sort of logic.

But yeah, the type of animals your mad scientists did the vivisection to, to add Human dna to them, will impact what animal they shapeshift into when not blending in with Humans. (aka What animal is their true form when they are not shifted to look like Humans?).

This also impacts if you stories have things like knotting or nesting in them.

Alphas with wolf DNA are the ones who have knotting abilities.

Omegas with rabbit, bird, or cat DNA are the ones with nesting abilities.

Omegas with bird or reptile DNA lay eggs.

Alphas and Omegas who started out as sheep or goats before their mad scientist vivisected them, often retain their horns and cloven hooves once they fully transform into Human form.

Betas are real Humans, and do not have animal DNA at all. They also did not exist in the lore before COVID shutdowns caused an influx of people who never saw the 1973 movie Island of Dr. Moreau, so didn't know Omegaverse is Island of Dr. Moreau fanfiction.

Omegaverse is fanfiction of H.G.Wells Island of Dr. Moreau, that runs on the assumption that after the animals escaped the island at the end of the book, they went on to blend in with Human society, and so it's commonly accepted that no more vivisections happen, because now their children are born with both animal and Human traits.

Most of us early Omegaverse writers from the 1970s and 1980s (pre internet, fanzine print mag days) based our Omegaverse more off the 1973 movie, then the 1888 book, because the book ended with all the animals dying in the fire, while the 1977 movie shows a female panther who was fully able to transform into Human, trick the shipwrecked man into thinking she was human, and she escaped from the island with him, and she is usually noted as the first Omega, but she was not a character in the book, she only existed in the 1973 movie, so Omegaverse usually picks up with that movie lore as the base for how the Alphas and Omegas started blending in with Human *beta) society.

If you have not seen the 1973 movie Island of Dr. Moreau, I highly recommend you watch it before writing Omegaverse, because readers do notice if a writer never saw the original canon the Omegaverse came from.

Like, a common complaint in Omegaverse readers is the fact that since Covid shutdowns there has been a rise in Omegaverse where the Alphas and Omegas did not start out as animals who were vivisected with Human DNA by a mad scientist... meaning in 2020 to 2023 there was a rise in writers who never read the canon source material, and did not know Alphas and Omegas are animals who pretend to be Humans, while Betas are Humans who often do not know the shifters exist in society. aka since 2020 there is this weird rise in NOT FURRY/NOT DR. MOREAU fanfiction that people are calling Omegaverse, but it's just Humans running around calling themselves Alpha or Omega and not animals passing themselves off as Humans, and it's not Omegaverse but people are calling it Omegaverse because they never read H.G.Wells and somehow go it into their heads that Omegaverse is it's own thing that doesn't have a source fandom canon that started it, don't know it existed in fanzines in the 1970s and 1980s before the internet, soooo... anyone who was reading pre-Covid Omegaverse is going to expect it to be H.G.Wells/Dr. Moreau fanfiction and the entire reader base that existed before covid, will just ignore anything that is "Humans acting like animals" rather then "animals who shape shift and stealth live among Humans".

"What type of animal are they?" is a pretty standard question you will get in your comments on your fics, if your stories never mention the what animals they are. And how you answer that question is going to impact if the readers keep reading forward or just drop your series.

Older readers who been reading Omegaverse pre-covid are going to leave if it's not using H.G.Wells canon lore for how the animals gained the ability to shift into Humans.

Younger readers post-covid who never read pre-covid Omegaverse, won't know to ask what animals your people are when they are not shifted into Humans, and will keep reading regardless.

So, it really depends on which reader base are you planning to target.

But beyond the base backstory of how did the animals gain the ability to shift into Humans, it's pretty much anything goes, if you set your timeline to be a few hundred years after Dr. Moreau's death, because it's generally assumed by most Omegaverse readers that after centuries of breeding with Humans, the animals no longer require vivisection to transform into Human forms anymore.

btw: I started my Omegaverse series in 1978, and its now in it's 48th years since first being published, so I'm one of the few early Omegaverse writers of the 1970s who is still writing and still writes it without the post-covid era additions (alt genders and such, did not exist in pre-2020 Omegaverse)

The thing that stuck out to me is, when reading your lore, it felt like you were taking Humans and randomly adding weird animal traits all mish mashed, which seems to be common in 2026 "Ao3 style" Omegaverse, but really comes off as NOT being Omegaverse because Omegaverse, has always been they are literal actual ANIMALS who shapeshift into Human form, not Humans with mix and match animal traits.

I'm kind of flabbergasted by the large influx of "Humans with alt genders that seem like animals sort of" style Omegaverse that has risen up like wildfire in the last 2 or 3 years, that also seems unique to Ao3 and is not happening to Omegaverse outside of Ao3, thus why I call it "Ao3 style Omegaverse".

What I mean is Omegaverse existed since the 1970s and it is the precursor to the Furry genre. Furries spun off of Omegaverse. Omegaverse has a fifty+ year history of being ANIMALS who were vivisected by mad scientist, to give them Human DNA, cause them to have shape shifting abilities, and the animals used their new found shifting powers to infiltrate Human society and try to live as Humans, resulting in the birth of Alphas and Omegas which are animal-Human hybrids, caused by a Human mating with a vivisected animal shifter. That is and always has been what the Omegaverse was.

So, you have a wolf who can shapeshift into a Human and retains wolf traits that make him stand out as not quite Human. Because he is a wolf, he has a knotting penis, he has scent glands and does pee marking territory marking like a dog/wolf, he may have yellow eyes like a wolf, he may have fangs and claws like a wolf, he may have digitigrade legs, he may have a strong sense of smell. These are all wolf traits, because he is simply a wolf who is pretending to be Human.

A rabbit who can shapeshift into a Human but retains rabbit traits that make her seem uncanny valley in her Human form. She may have rabbit ears and struggle with how to hide them, she may give birth to a litter of 8 to 12 kits instead of a single Human baby, she may start building nests of pillows and fur pelts when her menstrual cycle kicks into heat mode. But it's always rabbit traits because she IS a rabbit pretending to be Human.

So, that's what stood out most to me about the worldbuilding here, is that there was no mention of animals at all.

It was "Alphas are this" and "Omegas are that" but typically Omegaverse lore is:

Wolfs and Dogs are this in Alpha form and that in Omega form.

Vultures and Condors are this in Alpha form and that in Omega form.

Horses are this in alpha form and that in omega form.

You would usually decide what animals can shapeshift, and what Alpha/Omega traits they retain in Human form.

You would list off "Here's the animals capable of shapeshifting" not "Here's my Humans and the mish mash of animal traits they have".

You are not alone in doing this method of "Here's Humans and I've slapped random animal traits at random on them" method... because since covid there has been a huge influx of this... but... it's really not Omegaverse, if the characters are not animals.

This new thing with the alt genders and the characters being just Humans with random animal traits, is different from Omegaverse, and I'm not sure why people are calling it Omegaverse, but, yeah, Omegaverse has been around for over five decades now and it's always been LITERAL ANIMALS who can shapeshift into Human form, and that is why as "Humans" they have knotting, nesting, scenting, etc going on.

But that's always why so many readers say "it feels wrong" on a lot of newer Omegaverse. a wolf who does nesting and a rabbit who does knotting, feels wrong, because it does not follow animal biology. Omegaverse follows animal biology, so a Wolf Alpha knots but a Rabbit Alpha ruts and a chicken alpha nests.

Omegaverse retaining of animal traits is not random. It's this Alpha is a wolf in his true form, you can tell because he knots. It's this Alpha is a rabbit in his true form, you can tell because he ruts. The animal traits act as identifiers that give Humans clues as to what type of animal the Alpha is in his true form. But, you lose that when you never have the Alpha be an animal in his true form and just make him be an alien sort of Human with lots of traits from lots of animals all mish mashed together.

I don't know, the new pos-covid style Omegaverse, just feels like aliens living among Humans and really doesn't feel live a wolf pack shape shifted to try to blend in with Human society. And so that's what is really standing out to me, is that there are no animals mentioned a all, and no logic for why all Alphas would always have all sorts of mixed blend animal traits.

Hopefully this makes sense?

Like, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just saying, if they are not animals shapeshifted, I'm not sure it counts as Omegaverse.

Also, I wonder what started this trend too, because I'm seeing it a LOT. Like just hundreds of writers have started writing this "not omegaverse" but calling it "omegaverse", and I'm left wondering what triggered it. Why has so much of Omegaverse suddenly stopped being animal shifters like it has been for fifty odd years now?

Since I have gotten a lot of questions asking "Is there a sample story I can read to see what the series is like before buying the paperbacks?"

Yes, yes there is. In fact, almost all of the short stories are available free to read right here on Space Dock 13 (eelkat.com) 

If you want to read only one, and want the one that best represents the entire series as a whole, one that shows you the 3 main characters' personalities best, shows how transgender characters are presented, shows how MPreg is presented, shows the children and family life dynamics, shows you how sweet romance and fluff are handled, shows how the Fae King deals with problems in his court, shows how the family interacts with their servants and handmaids, shows the setting including the zombies, and shows the overall tone and genre of the series…Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies is the single best, one stop, story that gives you a taste of pretty much everything all in a single story… this here is the story you want to read, if you are not sure whether or not you want to read the rest of the series and just want one story that'll give you enough info about the series to help you decide if it's the sort of thing you will like or not... it's free to read, 4,987 words, and it'll take you 30 minutes to an hour to read depending on your personal reading speed:

• Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies

But also, let's address the Erotica question, seeing how people like to show up in my driveway to yell at me accusing my books of being Erotica.

Are my books Erotica? No.

My books do not contain sex scenes.

Are my books Horror? (another thing they've been accused of). No.

My books do not contain gore scenes, jump scenes, or any of the scenes common to Horror.

My books are Dark Urban Fantasy, set in a Dystopian CyberPunk Far Future on a planet with sapient AI, space travel, and an active zombie apocalypse going on.

My series is not Medival or European either, which for reason some people thought it was, because as one reader put it: "I was reading along for four volumes, thinking this was a Lord of the Rings type setting, until I got to the part where one guy drives up in a food truck and starts talking about his tv show..." Uhm... year... there's nothing in my series to indicate it is NOT a cyberpunk world. The main character had bionic prothetic hands, and is married to a blind man who wears AI powered VR Googles that give him constant readouts allowing him to "see" where he is walking. All three main characters are car collectors who drive cars; one main character have a hover bot drone following him around all the time. Cyborgs and androids are a common thing. They buy food out of vending machines. They carry laser guns, rays guns, and plasma guns... no, it's not Medival. Also it's set in Maine.

But back to Erotica.

People who hate Erotica have a serious issue with showing up in my yard to give me hell, drag me out of my wheelchair, and throwing my wheelchair out into the road into oncoming traffic, while accusing my books of being Erotica... and seeing how erotica haters are making this a monthly habit for several years now, I think it needs to be addressed.

Are my books Erotica? No.

My books do not contain sex scenes.

Calling my books lewd and crude, sure.

Lewd? Yes.

Crude? Oh hell yes.

But Erotica? Oh my god, laughing my ass off and rolling out the door!

You do know that erotica requires penieses bouncing around inside vaginas, squirting all over the place, right? Do you even KNOW what erotica is? Clearly, if you call my books Erotica, you have been living under a rock, and honey, heaven help you, if you think what I write is Erotica, because, someday you will come across something that actually is erotica, and you are gionna be mind blown so fucking out of your gourd... and THEN you'll understand WHY people called you a prude while laughing at you, and honey, believe me, people ARE laughing at you, when you tell the my books are Erotica, and they are laughing because they know how much of an idiot you are.

Erotica is a specific genre, that contains both romance and sex scenes... a lot of sex scenes, sex scenes every chapter, erotica is sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex,... take a break from sex to have some romance, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, a couple lines of dialogue, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex...... I highly recommend you read Cum4BigFoot by Virgina Wade, and THEN come back to me, and tell me you STILL think my books are anything even remotely close to Erotica....heck, go read or watch Game of Thrones... Game of Thrones contains about 1/16th the amount of sex, a typical Erotica book has. And my books contain about 1/1,968,000th less sex then Game of Thrones does. I know this because in over 4k published stories spanning over FORTY MILLION published words... there are exact 16 sex scenes, spending a grand total of under 900 words total, in my books... verses, Game of Thrones average 3 sex per chapter, per volume, of every book in the series, and even THAT doesn't have enough sex to count as Erotica.

You forget... a sailor can yell fuck in a bar, and that's JUST him SAYING the word "fuck"... and saying the word "fuck" does not count as a sex scene.

And yes, my books DO make liberal use of the fucking word fuck used a fucking hellof a fucking lot... but me typing the word fuck five times in a sentence does NOT means there are five sex scenes in that sentence. And when you show up in my driveway, carrying signs, and and yelling at the cars going by my yard, screaming "eelKat lives here, boycott the fucking nasty bitch erotic writer" like you've done several times now... all you are doing is making a fool of yourself on several level... because one: Miss Citten The Eel Kat, Empress of Planet Ptarmagin, is a fictional character, a talking black cat who raises 100 foot long Space eels... and that you call me, Wendy Christine Allen, the name of one of my characters, instead of using my name, well, that alone tells me you don't have enough brain cells to tell the deference between the author and her characters... but then you also prove your own insanity by called my 1964 Dodge 330 haunted as well, so I suppose I can't expect you to have enough brain cells to call me by my name... but also... more the twenty seven thousand people whom have read my books, live in a fourteen mile radius of my driveway, and so they, my neighbours, are well aware, the lack of sex in my books, so they are also aware, you're an idiot for calling my books Erotica.

I've never denied that my books were crude and my characters lusty and foul mouthed, swearing, and yes they talk about penises a lot, but, really, you're standing in a driveway in Biddeford, hon... open your ears... EVERY man, woman, and child in Biddeford, talks like that. Watch the 5 year old kindergarteners on the corner waiting for the school bus, listen to how those toddlers greet each other:

Five year old 1: "You fucking bring your beeny baby to class, fuck dude are you a fucking baby?"

Five year old child 2: "Fucking hell yeah, I'm bringing my fucking beeany baby to fucking class, and I'm fucking telling my fucking bitch teacher you were fucking bitching at me and fucking saying I fucking couldn'yt!"

Five Year old child 3: "Hey! Fuck! I can't play after school today, I got a new social worker."

Five year old 1: "Another one? Fuck!"

Five year old child 3: "Fuck."

Five year old child 2: "Fuck!"

Five year old child 1: "Fuvk, man, what happen to the last two?"

Five year old child 3: "Fucking bitches they fucking were."

Five year old child 1: "Yeah, both my social workers are fucking bitches too."

Also, I have this conversation on video... it happened on Peasron's Lane, just off Bacon Street, in front of Mechanics Park. They did it while I was waiting to cross the road and my wheelchair cam caught the whole thing... my wheelchair can has caught THOUSANDS of conversations like this all over Biddeford.

Children in Biddeford talk like that, because their parents talk like that, as do their teachers, and theirr social workers, and their friends and family, and neighbours.

Welcome to Biddeford.

EVERYONE in Biddeford talks like that.

And the bulk of my series IS set in Biddeford, Maine.... you know, that city you are standing in with your sign.

You might want to get off your high horse, crawl out from under whatever rock you've been living under, and take a good long look around you at how real people, in the real world, off line, and outside of your white trash church, actually act, actually talk, and actually are. Because you're living in a whitewashed fantasy land if you think real people out on the real streets don't say the word fuck!

You might want to get to know the local culture here in Biddeford, Saco, and Old Orchard Beach, because you start waving your signs around too much, because, while YOU may be too stupid to know that a character saying "fuck" is not a sex scene, rest assured, all the people in this city are laughing their asres of that you think a character yelling "fuck" counts as a sex scene. This entire town fucking, says fuck, more times a fucking day, then well... clearly you've ever heard in your life.

Welcome to Maine. We fucking say fuck a lot here. Welcome to Biddeford and Old Orchard Beach, Maine's two sister honky tonk towns where we fucking say fuck a fucking hellofa lot more then the whole fucking rest of the fucking state of Maine combined.

So don't your come up here from your fucking lower 48 and try to bring your snot nosed prissyness here.

We Native Mainers, we don't like it.

If you have issue with what I write? Don't read it. You clearly ain't my target auduance, so who the fuck gives a shit what you think?

I ain't bothering you, and sure as hell don't have the right to be trespassing on my land.

I don't care if you don't liker me books... but I do care that your stalk bitch of an arse is standing my driveway!

If you get your panties in a fucking knot thinking a character yelling fuck, makes a book Erotica, honey buns, you better start covering your ears while your here boycotting in Maine, because you're goonna hear a lot of "erotica" going off off in your fucking ears every fucking damned second of every fucking damned day.

Don't come here to Maine and tell us we can't say fuck.

Fuck!

Worse then that, you come to Biddeford of all the town in Maine, where you decided to have your little holyier then though sissified hissy fit meltdown over the word fuck... you chose BIDDEEFORD, to do it?

LOL!

Sugar Plum! boy do you ever NEED to take your head out of your arse and look around you.

Heck, there's a Guinise World Record Award on The Biddeford Town Hall... downstairs, near the elevator... go read it. Find out what Biddeford has got a world record for... then... tell me you STILL want to walk around Biddeford, Maine complaining about the word fuck.

Good god!

Go back to whatever outta state high polluting shit hole you rolled out of.

Also... what the fuck? Do you realize, how mentally ill you have to be, in the first place, to hunt down an author's home address, you, a stalker, and yes, you ARE a stalker, if you took the time to find my home address and travel here to show up in my driveway, yes, that DOES make YOU a stalker... do you realize how utterly INSANE YOU ARE, to think, showing up in someone's driveway to yell at them , falsing accusing them of writing sex scenes, that they never even wrote in the first place?

Honey bun... reel in the crazy, and take a good long look at you own stalker arse, making a fool of yourself in my driveway.

On what planet do you think being a stalker like you are doing in my driveway, is normal?

You do also realize that thing I am upset about too, is NOT that you accuse my books of being Erotica... it's that you drove all the way from California, to tell me that, while I was poop scooping dog poop in my driveway.

Think about it.

You got in a car, and drove five days, across the country, to yell at a novelist, in her driveway.

Let me repeat that:

You got in a car, and drove five days, across the country, to yell at a novelist, in her driveway.

Honey, there's seriously something wrong with you, and I am going to complain about it on my website, because, me being a published author DOES NOT give you the right to show up in my yard. Who the fuck do you think you are?

My books are about a super villain main character, dealing with domestic life.

The main character is a classic Dungeons and Dragons style big bad end of the game mega overpowered boss fight necromancer with a massive army of twenty-one billion zombies... and his husband is the equally endgame boss fight Lich Lord you have to get through to get to him... meanwhile his live-lover is an even more powerful Demon, from literal Hell, who can, and does, throw planet ending fire balls across solar systems to wipe out entire planets.

They are three laughably cartoonish twirly moustache over the top super villains... who... like Ma and Pa Kettle have a shit tonne load of children, a dozen or so children are adults, but over 70, yes, seventy, of their children are between the ages of 8 and 16 and are unruly herd of children in need of parenting.

Quaraun, being a transman Elf-JellyFish-Rabbit hybrid, gives birth to huge little of babies, rarely fewer then 6 and often 12 or more babies to a single pregnancy... transgender as in, born biologically a cis-female and living as a male, but has not had bottom surgery so is a seahorse dad, fully able to still get pregnant... so, yes, the world's most deadly, most dangerous, most powerful, and most feared necromancer... is also often 8 months pregnant in every story AND juggling trying to raise well over two hundred children all at once... WHILE having to deal with the endless stream of "questing adventure paries" of groups of 5 to 7 Humans consisting of a rogue, a wizard, a cleric, a warrior, and a palendin, showing up on his front door to say they are here to fight him to the death.

The whole series is satire of Dungeons and Dragons, told from the point of view of the ultimate end game boss fight villain who is sick and tired of Questing groups interrupting his life to challange him to a duel.challenge

So, how these idiots end up thinking my series is Erotica is beyond me... but... they often are the same idiots who are so retarded they think my car is hauned too.

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy have more then a hundred children together, and a lot of the stories feature said children. In fact, if you want to see what the series is like, and how extremely not Erotica it is, and just exactly how much it involves domestic family life, here, have some that you can read now for free; in fact here, have a shit tonne load you can read for free:

These feature the children:

• Excited For The New Baby
• The Phooka's Dragon School
• Five Ways To Save Money in Las Vegas
• The Herd Approaches
• Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies
• The Temple City of The Green Goddess, Where Every Street Has a Name
• Springtime by the River

These feature running the food truck business:

• BoomFuzzy's Chowder Dilemma
• Absinthe Slushies: An Ode to Frozen Green Fairy Wine
• Vendetta over Vittles
• Wishing For Lobster Rolls or, Why One Never Make Wishes In The Presence of Wizards
• Zwodder: A Drowsy Stupid State of Mind

These feature running the lighthouse:

• Lens and Light Maintenance
• A Dark and Stormy Night
• That Afternoon When Quaraun Got Stuck In a Crab Trap
• Dangerous Tides
• A Culinary Catastrophe: The Cursed Tomato Soup
• Bone Dice - Again
• Dreams of Purple Pearls
• Chaos in The Lighthouse - Shattered Panes, Shattered Minds
• A Flapdoodle Wizard’s Duel
• The Terrifying Cliffs of Noodle Beach
• Herons in the Dunes
• Macaroni and Cheese: A Creamy Pasta Dish Drenched in Melted Cheese, Often Topped with Breadcrumbs- It's Never That Easy
• Necromancy-A Day in the Life of a Bumbling Necromancer-Again
• The Sweet and Sour of Lemons
• What I Wish I Knew Before Not Becoming an Astrophysicist

These feature, things that happen when they are travelling between farmer's markets:

• A Map Worth More Than Gold
• The Moon Goddess Laughs From The Rooftops
• Toobe's Well-Prompted Apocalypse (A ChatBot Plans Global Domination)
• If your ass ain’t freezing or your brains ain’t scrambled, you’re ain’t really trying
• The Terror Bird
• Why the Sea is Salt
• The Valuable Mystery of the Talking Saloon Door and How We Nearly Got Shot Over Stale Tacos
• A Very Important Clump of Grass
• This Tent is Too Big
• The Washer Woman & The Fae
• The Rain-Drenched Alley
• How to Hijack a Human Supply Train Without Getting Shot
• Milkweed Meadow
• Open Grave
• Bellicose: Warlike! Aggressive! Hostile!
• The Book Burning Maggots, a You Can't Spell Hatred Without Red Hats
• When a Government Tries to Cover Its Crimes
• The Curse of the Liquid Gold
• The Red Hakama
• A Sinister-Looking Stone Well
• A Fall in the River
• The Great UnSeelie Court Swindlers
• A Mysterious Illness Spreading Through a Village
• That Big Bad Darkness in His Heart

Read those and you can see for yourself just exactly how lacking in sex education people have to be to call my series Erotica!

If you ever wanted cozy Cuddly Sweet Fluff filled Omegaverse, with foul mouthed, vulgar characters living an off grid life, this is it.

The people who call my books erotica, are really, really, really, REALLY showing how uneducated they are about what sex is and is not, when they call my books erotica.

Tip: If you want to call a book Erotica, you might want to read it first and make sure you ain't making a fool of yourself by admitting you ain't got a clue what counts as sex.

There series spans 138 novels, 423 novellas 500+ poems, and 3,000+ short stories, and out of the more then FOUR THOUSAND volumes in the series, there are exactly 16 sex scenes spread out across eleven titles, and because people always want to know which titles those are... here's a list... with the exception of these 11 titles here, you will find no sex and no violence, in any of the more then 4,000 published titles of this series:

Transman Quaraun (The Pink Necromancer) and his husband King Gwallmaic (aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn) King of The UnSeelie Court. Main characters of The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer series. The series heavily features many stories of a pregnant transman, and is therefore classified as MPreg (pregnant males), aka Quaraun himself is USUALLY seen as being between 5 to 8 months pregnant in almost every story he appears in. BoomFuzzy is USUALLY the father, but they are part of a "why choose?"-type 3-way poly relationship, and thus side character GhoulSpawn is sometimes the father. aka it is a transman main character and his two husbands all three living in harmony together, it is NOT a "lover's triangle" sort of trio.

Vol 1: BoomFuzzy (175k word novel - 500+ pages) This volume contains a lot of sexual abuse and on page rape...Highly recommended you be over age 21 to buy this volume. (the prequel to the series; written for the 35th anniversary of the series, it is the "backstory of Quaraun's pre-transgender youth that is so often mentioned throughout the rest of the series... this is the ONLY story where Quaraun is NOT elderly and shown as an adolescent)

Note the novel "BoomFuzzy" contains sex scenes, rape,  graphic violence, and torture... MOST of the series is completely devoid of sex or violence and is Pg13... this specific volume ONLY is EXTREMELY NSFW and unlike the rest of the set. Basically a retelling of Rapunzel vs Hansel & Gretel, if Rapunzel was broken mentally by the abuse and and Babba Yagga became a chef to eat Rapunzel's abusers. There are not enough trigger warnings for how many brutal, violent, vorn rape scenes, self harm, cutting, and graphically detailed suicides, there are in this, the most violent book of the series, that puts Quaraun's violent sex abuse filling childhood on graphic bloody page... this is the backstory to how and why Quaraun grew up tp became the serial killing vigilante cannibal Necromancer who tortures rapists and child abusers in the dungeons of The Twighlight Manor.

...If you are not familiar with the series, Quaraun is a serial killer who travels the planet in search of rapists and child abusers to torture them to death; while the torture scenes are never on page, they are constantly references through out the series, with people all over the planet living in mortal terror of The Pink Necromancer setting foot in their town, due to his reputation of brutally murderer anyone who hurts, abuses, or rapes women and children... ...the series always stated it was due to sexual abuse he received as a child, but never went into detail of what exactly that meant... Readers kept requesting I write a prequal novel to show the abuse backstory, and that is what this novel is... it is the prequal story that shows the abuse, rape, and shit he went through as a child, which lead to him becoming the The Pink Necromancer as an adult.

This book is deemed too graphic for Ao3, that alone says it all. Sooo many people have read this thinking "How bad could it be" and... ehhh... when you hear people talking about me writing twisted fucked up books, THIS is the book they are talking about. Really... you need to trust the trigger warnings on this one: this originally appeared on FanFiction.net and Tumblr and has sent Ao3 Vorn readers squicking for safety from it. If you like this book, you will HATE the rest of the series. If you like the rest of the series, you will HATE this book. The novel BoomFuzzy is deep dive extremely different from the rest of the series. Different genre, different tone, different character ages.

Vol 2: Tea With a Thullid (95k word novel - 300+ pages) (another prequal story that bridges the gap between BoomFuzzy and night of the Screaming Unicorn A deranged spiralling deep dive into the weird squishy jellyfish thoughts of the blood thirsty brain eating evil necromancer as he's forced to spend a hurricane sheltered up with a Human as he tries very much not to rip out their skull and eat their brain. Darker then the most of the series, heavily inspired by the works of Lovecraft, this is still MOSTLY Cozy Fantasy.

Vol 3: The Night of the Screaming Unicorn (157k word novel - 400+ pages)- an Omegaverse novel from 2012 This one needs so many trigger warnings about so many things that the average mainstream person, isn't even going to know is a thing they needed trigger warnings for... This is Omegaverse, and if you know you know, and if you don't... yeah... well... A quote from the novel, sums up the entire novel quite easily: "Well, gee, I guess I just woke up today and thought 'I wish I was gonna be fucked by a Unicorn'!" "Ya did." "I was joking!" "Yas a wish granting wizard." "I DID NOT MEAN I ACTUALLY WANTED TO BE FUCKED BY A UNICORN!" "Well, I'don't know what to tell ya. Ya made the wish. And here I is. I'm'a horny Unicorny and I's ready to fuck ya!"

Where to begin: Cherries, CBT, knotting, slick, ruts, heat, alphas, omegas, betas, sigmas, gammas, barbed penises, vaginas with teeth... ...Welcome to the Omegaverse, bring your own eye bleach; you're gonna need it. If you don't know what Omegaverse is... google it. ...if you don't know what omegaverse CBT is... google it... If you don't know what Omegaverse knotting is...I'd tell you to google it...but...eh...google it and brace yourself. Be warned... this is NOT 2026 style Omegaverse... This is 2012 Tumblr style Omegaverse, where vaginas had fangs that bite off penieses and penises have extractable barbs to fight back with. Yep, that's a thing you are going to encounter is, the strangest book I ever wrote. It's old school Omegaverse when Omegaverse was still in it extreme wild west era. -- this is one of the few volumes of the series to contain dub-con, almost non-con sex scenes, including knotting scenes... and is NSFW, reviewers have described it as "more rapey then I would have ever expected a woman to write". Highly recommended you be over age 21 to buy this volume. There are no chapters. The entire 400+ page story is one big rape scene of Quaraun trying to get away from his attacker in a locked room with no doors or windows.

It's Omegaverse. If you know Omegaverse slick knotting rutts that lead to mindless "I need sex now" type of stories... uhm... yep... that is EXACTLY what this is. Also, its the story that reveals BoomFuzzy as two penises with barbs, and knotting with two penieses is even freakier then knotting with one. Omegaverse... OLD Omegaverse, this was published on fanfiction dot net in 2012! When Omegaverse was a lot wilder then it is today. In the original... BoomFuzzy is a horse the hole time... the Amazon edition, released in 2014, has him shapeshifted into a Human form for a lot of the story due to, yeah, typical Amazon reasons.of horse sex not allowed. This book, in it's original 2012 unedited edition, is WHY people call me a writer of "Unicorn Porn"... the Amazon edition is 60% tamer then the 2012 ffdn original. If you get the book on Amazon, know that it's about 90 pages shorter then the original because several of the scenes had to be cut for the Amazon release, due to Amazon's ToS. This is the OTHER book people are talking about when they say I write freaking fucked up crazy mind fucked eye bleach shit...yep. Unicorn Porn. Here it is. If you like the novel "BoomFuzzy", this is probably the ONLY other story in the series you will also like. While 1000% tamer and less violent then "BoomFuzzy", The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, is NOT Cozy Fantasy like the rest of the series, and treads into being Dark Romance/Dark Fantasy/Dark Romantasy.

Vol 4: The Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain (135k word novel - 300+ pages) --- there are no sex scenes in this but, for some odd reason, reviewers swear that it is erotica and full of sex... I can't figure out why they think that... I assume I must have written phrases they mistook for euphanismes and inuendos? weird This is "THAT" book... I have a character who uses "fuck" in every way possible, nouns, adverb, adjective, angry, joyful "Fuck yeah!" for good thing "fuckity, funking, fucked up fucking fuckface" when he's mad... my novels average the word "ffuck" no fewer then 4 times per page, just because he's a main character. One reader, left a review to say they counted and in one of my 120 page novellas he said "fuck" over 450 times.... ...they commented that because my book is not Erotica, yet a week earlier a review had said "I don't know why this book is not in the Erotica section, there literally multiple sex scenes on every page". The 2nd reviewer stated "I bought the book because the other reviewer said it had sex on every page, but there is literally no sex in this book. I think the other reviewer is a prude who never heard anyone swear before. It's literally just a Maine lobsterman who can't stop swearing."

If you don't know what "THAT" book means... here's what happened: it got so many reports of being "miscatagoriezed as Fantasy and should be in Erotica section", that Amazon moved the book to Erotica category, which I did not know they did, until I suddenly got a bunch of 1 star reviews saying "what kind of retard thought this was Erotica, the author is an idiot for putting this in Erotica category". I ended up spending several months going back and forth in emails with Amazon before I FINALLY got to a phone conversation with a real person. And I told them "This book is about a married gay couple on a hiking trip, the entire novel is literally nothing but them sightseeing and talking about the landscape, I don't know why you moved it to Erotica category when it has no sex in it, can you please have someone ACTUALLY READ my book and explain to me WHY you put it in Erotica? I have gotten 127 one star reviews all made that the book is in the Erotica category, when I didn't put it there!" Three weeks later I get an email back from Amazon stating, that they had received 51 reports that the book was porn, and had moved it to Erotica without checking. They said a representative has now read the book, and moved it to Fantasy where it belongs. They went on to say, upon investigation, all 51 accounts had been the same person with 50 sock puppet accounts. They said they banned the harasser, deleted the well over 200 one star reviews .

I was surprised to get that from amazon, because usually they just give you a canned response. It is so hard to get to an actual customer service person on Amazon. But... I thought that was the end of it... nope. The following week, in church, a local woman, storms into the church meeting, waving a paperback copy of that book over her head, which screaming and yelling that I write Erotica and porn. Then starts yelling that I made Amazon delete her accounts, all of them. Uhm... okay... wait... what? The Bishop is like "What is going on?" I tell him, I'm not sure, but, I'm never written a sex scene in my life, I don't write Erotica or Porn, and that books she's hold, yeah I wrote it, but it's just a gay couple on a camping trip." (this book was written prior to the ones that do contain sex scenes and this incident is in fact WHY I started putting sex scenes in the volumes written after this one) Suddenly the bishop is yelling at me accusing me of writing Erotica. What? Why? What are you talking about? He goes off on this wild rant of how "you can not have a gay couple without erotica" and how "it is ALWAYS erotica is their is a gay person in it". The woman carrying the book starts going "See? I told you she write Erotica!" These people were acting like I had written the smuttiest, super mega smutt to ever exist. And yet, there wasn't even any kissing or nothing in this book. You'd thing I was writing gang bang orgies or something. It was literally a gay couple, on vacation, on a hiking trip. Where were they finding anything sexual in this book?

And weird part is, I never said the characters were gay either. The closest thing to calling them gay, is a line that says "a transman and his husband". That's it. That's the closest thing to "erotica" in the entire book; just one line stating "a transman and his husband". OMG! What would these people do if they actually encountered actual real gay Erotica? Kind of says how "in the gutter" their minds are if all it takes is the line "a transman and his husband" to send them off into a meltdown of thinking about sex though, yeah? I mean, THEY thought sex in places I never wrote or implied sex, so that's on them. They are the one sexualizing gay couples, not me, yet they are the ones yelling at me and calling me "a sinner" and "the great apostate" (the term my bishop used). Needless to say I no longer attend that church, but, it was really eye opening for me to realize that there are people out there who think "gay = erotica". It had never occurred o me to think that at all. I mean there's far more f/m porn/erotica out there then there is m/m porn/erotica, so saying gay = erotica, is no different then saying straight = erotica, but I guess they don't think of that. I'm often left wondering, if the people who leave those sorts of reviews on Goodreads and Amazon, have ever met a gay person in real life?

Vol 5: Quaraun and the Vampire Into The Swamp of Death (135k word novel - 300+ pages) --- this story contains a lot of suicide referances and attempts, and a brutal gory murder scene, and is one of the few NSFW volumes in the series. Highly recommended you be over age 21 AND in no danger of suicidal thoughts to buy this volume. While I wouldn't consider it controversial, I would say, Into the Swamp of Death would require reader discretion due to it being about a depressed character, attempting to commit suicide after their lover commit suicide. If you were a fan of BeaLuna and Bullgaar, this is the last volume they appear in, as I just got bored with writing them and phased them out, in this volume. They MIGHT come back later on in the series, but currently I've no plans to bring them back.

Vol 6: The Summoner of Darkness (165k word novel - 400+ pages) --- not on Amazon - this one is currently only available as an unedited draft here on Space Dock 13 This one boobily made its way down the stairs, into a weird world of mocking the breastily way men boobily write woman... yep... this is the one with the "she breasted boobily down the stairs" scene/line. Also, this one is not on Amazon for "reasons"... namely that in his true form BoomFuzzy is literally a horse, and I really did not want to remove the entire "There's a horse in your bed!!!" chapter, just to let it have an Amazon release. Sooo... yep... there's that.

Vol 7: GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover (95k word novel - 300+ pages)--- this is one of the few volumes of the series to contain sex scenes and is NSFW... also contains very violent domestic violence and spouse abuse scenes, including spouse being beaten into a coma.Highly recommended you be over age 21 to buy this volume. While not the first story to feature GhoulSpawn, this is the first time GhoulSpawn is traveling with them and is the story of the lover's triangle that follows.  Readers who like BoomFuzzy, REALLY HATE this volume as it's the one when Quaraun is cheating on BoomFuzzy with GhoulSpawn, before the three of them became a trio throuple later on in the series. Also I think the ending of this one kind of sucks, and didn't end well, but I couldn't figure out a better way to end it.

You remember how people read a bunch of books before they realize BoomFuzzy is a Black man and then they send me nasty emails saying they refuse to read books with Black characters and how dare I trick them into reading about Black characters by waiting so long to tell them he was Black... ...this would be that book.... Side note, I went back and checked, in the volumes prior to this one, there are 498 times of him being described as "a Black man from Papua New Guinea"...but still they never noticed he was Black, until this book. Why? In this book a racist white character calls him the N-word. And him being called the N-word by a racist piece of shit, it what snapped them out of thinking he was white, even though, prior to this book, there are 498 times of him being described as "a Black man from Papua New Guinea". Sooo...if you're a racist white piece of shit, you'll be very offended by this book.

Vol 8: Picking the Perfect Pickle, a collection of TransMan MPreg stories set in the Omegaverse (short story collection - 150+ pages) --- this collection contains the story "Excited For the New Baby" which was a chapter deleted from Lich Lord's Lover, and takes place about half way through the novel Lich Lord's Lover This is the book in the series with the fewest sales, rarely selling more than a  just a hundred copies total per year since it's release in 2016.  Which I find rather unfortunate as it is one of my favorite volumes of the entire series. Every story in this set is on the theme of a 8 to 9 month pregnant trans-man, trying to hide his pregnancy from society. Often readers stop reading the series when they get to this volume, as for some reason, this is usually the first volume when they realize that TRANSGENDER means he is a biological cis female, living as a male.

For some odd reason, a LOT, and I mean tHOUSANDS, of readers, go into the series, knowing Quaraun is transgender but thinking he is "a man in a dress" (as many angry emails from readers have put it)... I've received thousands of email (which is why I no longer use email) full of hateful rants saying that they thought transgender meant a man living as a woman, and how they were horrified and disgusted to realize that Quaraun was a woman living as a man. I am so confused by this. How the fuck do so many people get THIS FAR into the series and not realize until this volume that Quaraun is a f2m (female to male) transgender person? How? And the reason they give is always "but the dialogue tags said he/him/his!!!" Uhm... yeah. Because HE is transgeder. HE spends a lot of ime looking in HIS full leangth mirror, bitching about HIS scars on HIS chest where his BOOBS used to be too... in fact that scene is in every single book... heck, if you read the novel BoomFuzzy, you saw the scene where his father CUTOFF HIS DAUGHTERS BREASTS because SHE was binding them to pass for a male to try to attract the attention of a gay man (BoomFuzzy is gay and had no interest in Quaraun because Quaraun was a female). ??? Do they not know that a trans man is a a female who transitioned to a male? But that if they did no have bottom surgery they can still get pregnant?

Vol 9: The Savage Wilderness (more TransMan MPreg stories set in the Omegaverse) (short story collection - 150+ pages)-- -this volume contains the story of the birth of the baby mentioned in "Excited For The New Baby" in Picking the Perfect Pickle... one reader said this book was "too savage and disturbing" for them. I think they forgot to read the title. Also... I would call this book tame, but, whatever. Picking up where Picking The Perfect Pickle left off, the baby talked about in the pregnancy scenes there... is given birth to here in this volume, and this one pissed off readers as much as if not more then Picking the Perfect Pickle did. Uhm.. Quaraun is a trans man. Quaraun uses he/him pronouns. Quaraun complains constantly of having a "small penis" and spends an inordinate amount of time "looking at his boobless chest and the scars left behind where his boobs used to be". Narration always says "he did", "he said"...

Think about it, ..a character openly described in narrative as "transgender" and the narrative uses "he said" and "he did". How did you read that and NOT KNOW he was biologically female? Do you not know what transgender MEANS? If someone is TRANSGENDER, and they describe themselves as HE, HIM, that means they were born with a vagina and are living as a male. Good god, how stupid are these people who send me messages saying they stopped reading the series here, because it was when they REALIZED "he was not a sissy in a dress" or "not a transvestite" or "omg, you means he's not a man in a dress, why does the narrative call him he/him?"... uhm... first off let me say "tranny, sissy, man in a dress, and transvestite are all hate slurs, and the fact that you were using them (my series does not use those words) says a lot about YOU and YOUR bigotry again transgender people.  But also... someone assigned MALE at birth, who is transgender, uses SHE/HER pronouns and identifies as female. So if you were looking for penises under dresses, you should have been looking for "she said" and "her things" NOT "he said" and "his things". Someone assigned female at birth who is transgender is defined as he/his/him but has a vagina. And for some reason, it's not until a scene of him VAGINALLY giving birth to a baby from his vagina, that they realize... oh wait, transgender who calls himself him, means he was born a girl with a vagina. ??? Again I ask, do they not know that a trans man is a female who transitioned to a male? But that if they did no have bottom surgery they can still get pregnant?

Vol 10: Pumpkin Patch Portal (50k word novella - 150+ pages) This one doesn't need much content warning, but it is part 1 of a story that does...

...Quaraun is from twenty thousand years into Earth's cybergoth Fae ruled far future, an era when serial killing pumpkin patches are common place, and has no concept of the things GhoulSpawn, an Isekai'ed hippy from the 1970s describes from his 20th century era... ...this story flips the tables and Isekai's Quaraun to the 1970s into an ordinary pumpkin patch... The World's Most Feared Wizard, a psycho deranged insane zombie wielding Elf Necromancer with Liches at his command, is now in a time when Humans rule the world, magic does not yet exist, no one believes in Fae, Elves, or Zombies, and pumpkins are not yet monsters.

Vol 11: Feed the Fucking Pigeons (single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)- The story of a Black man feeding pigeons in Mechanic's Park, Biddeford, Maine, vs the police officers who try to fine him for the crime of feeding birds, in Mechanic's Park in Biddeford, Maine... inspired by a real incident that happened at this very real park, in 2007, when Biddeford Police put a "no feeding of pigeons" sign up, over the park bench, where a local man daily fed pigeons. Still trying to find their way back to the 40th century, now trapped in the 1990s, all hell breaks lose when white police officers threaten to arrest a BoomFuzzy for feeding pigeons in Mechanic's Park in Biddeford, Maine, and quickly find themselves with a food truck without a permit parked in the park as well, as BoomFuzzy starts a protest against white police harassing Black men.

--this story picks up a few days after Pumpkin Patch Portal and could be considered part of the same story... also... this was originally titled "Feed the Fucking Pigeons" but Amazon made me change the title, citing that they could not allow a book with "Fucking" in the title to be published... the irony here is "Feed the Fucking Pigeons" is about a Black man protesting overreach by white Police officers. Written as part of a Black Lives Matter challenge, the entire message of the story is "Fuck rich white privilege", and then a a rich white owned company went and demanded we change the title, sooo... yeah. Funny thing is 2025 readers said "But Scotsmen don't act like that"... ...I think 2026 Boston disagrees. Updated July 13, 2026... to the people in 2004 who said Biddeford Police don't act like this, yeah... I think ICE shooting a none-white man at this park this morning, says otherwise.

These do not have a specific order, but all take place about 3 to 5 years after the ones listed previously:

The Peaceful Shores of Noodle Beach (short story collection - 150+ pages)	The Deadly Shores of Noodle Beach (short story collection - 150+ pages)... if you are look for stories featuring Etiole, this is the volume you are looking for.	Three Wizards and a Lighthouse (mega bundle of over 100 short stories ---short story collection - 500+ pages)	Three Wizards and a Food Truck (short story collection - 150+ pages)
I Married The Goblin King and All I Got Was Existential Dread (short story collection - 150+ pages)	Three Wizards Cozy in the Apocalypse (short story collection - 150+ pages)	Quick Quips With Three Wizards (short story collection, featuring primarily Drabbles/100 word fiction - 150+ pages)	The Vorpal Kraken's Curse of Gold (single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)
All This Little Things (single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)	Quaraun and the Worldbuilders (35k word novella -100+ pages)	The Swamp of Lost Souls (single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)	No Gold (single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)

Frozen Dawn (single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)

The Moon Goddess Shrine (single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)

The Moth Garden (single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)

Some of the "after the story" stories... set hundreds of years after and before the main time line:

These stories are know by fans as "The Wild Years Era" and are set in 1980s Maine... Quaraun and GhoulSpawn, got stuck in the 1980s and no one believing them when they said they were from twenty thousand years in the future, they get locked in an insane asylum... Quaraun starts using the  name SunTa and GhoulSpawn starts using the name Gremlin, while BoomFuzzy starts using the name BlackBird, in this timeline.

While this era makes up more then half of all stories publisshied for the series, and is where you will find both EelKat and The Twighlight Manor, as well as characters like Etiole, Sir Roderick, The Dazzling Razzburry, Dr. Vangonesse, Xavier, King Vielder, and Melaca... only 3 volumes are on Amazon at the moment.

The stories in this era are NOT Cozy Fantasy, thus why I sectioned them off into their own section here. These are Gothic Horror, Psychological Terror, and Lovecraftian style Weird Horror. 

(single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)

(single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)

(single 12k word short story - 75+ pages)

The colouring books, these contain no story, only images:

	colouring book; 500+ pages/images	colouring book; 500+ pages/images

• Alphabetical Index of all The Pink Necromancer Fiction here on Space Dock 13 (EelKat.com)(links to over three thousand stories)

• An Introduction To The Pink Necromancer Series: The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane (Meet the Characters, What genre is it, and more)

NOTE:

The short stories ARE the MAIN series.

No, the novels ARE NOT the primary stories.

The novels were created as "special editions" for the 35th anniversary of the series.

Here's why:

This series was started in 1978, back then known as "The Twighlight Manor Series" and was short stories published in children's magazines such as Cricket, Friend, New Era, Highlights, and around 200+ other similar titles. This is because I was a 3 year old toddler upon writing the first story, for a "show us your story" type of feature in pre-school children's magazines. (Yes, I was born in 1975, and was only 3 years old in 1978 when the first story was published).

MOST of the stories written between 1978 and 1987 were under 500 words long, and featured a talking black cat named EelKat and her Silver Salamander Eel Hybrid MerMan friend Etiole, and her Sheep Satyr chauffer who drove a 1974 AMC Gremlin, who made visits to the MerMan's father Sir Roderic at his Twighlight Manor, a sentient house that came to life and ate people.

In 1987, at age 12 years old, I suddenly was "too old" to write for 90% of the magazines I had been sending the stories to. Note, at this point too, I had published well over 500 stories and had yet to receive even a penny for any of it, indeed, was not even aware that writers got paid at all.

From 1987 to 1996, stories were published locally via The Young Women's Newsletter of The Cape Elezabeth Ward of the Augusta Stake of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and due to church publication requirements, I made all character members of the LDS/Mormon Church, and sent them on missions... the church would not have published the stories otherwise, they told me as much. I choose Papua New Guinea as the location they were missionaries to, and this is when the black character Esmerald BlackBird and his family were added to the series.

In 1996, I started publishing many of the stories on FanFiction dot net, soon also on Blogger and GeoCities and AngleFire and FreeWebs and Squidoo and HubPages. Those collected locations were connected by a WebRing called "Space Dock 13". In 2013, I collected all the stories off those locations, consolidated them into one location, and bought the url eelkat.com to link to them. All of those stories, more then 3,000 short stories, are still free to read today in 2026 on this site you are reading right now.

eelkat.com was used because at the time, the talking black cat was still heavily featured as the narrator and a primary character of the series. (No, I am NOT "eelkat" and I don't know why people use that like it is my name, as it is rather annoying. I am Wendy and I dislike when people refuse to use my name and/or try to call me by one of my characters' names... you don't walk up to J.K.Rowling and yell "Hey Harry!" do you? So why do you walk up to me and yell "Hey, EelKat!")

The first novel of the series appeared in 2006 (Love, Lust, Madness) but was quickly unpublished due to outrage by local members of our church. It was the first time a sex scene appeared in the series, it also contained the first of several to follow suicide scenes.

There are currently no actively in print versions of ANY of the stories print published via magazines or newsletters prior to 2006. As most stories prior to 2006 appeared only in "send us your story" sections of children's magazines.

By 2010 Blackbird had been renamed BoomFuzzy and many stories had begun mentioning "the evil necromancer who built the Twighlight Manor".

In 2010, the series still was ONLY short stories and all still child safe, kid friendly, Mormon stories written by a Mormon child for other Mormon children.

For the 35th anniversary, I sent out a request, asked readers what should we do for the 35th anniversary of the series. And the top answer was:

1: Make a set of novels based off the short stories.

2: Make the novels about Etiole's great-grand-father, the evil necromancer who built The Twighlight Manor.

And so in 2014 The Night of The Screaming Unicorn was published (most of it had been written in 2011).

The Night of the Screaming Unicorn was the first story ever to feature Quaraun the Insane, The Pink Necromancer, and it was the first novel to feature BoomFuzzy the Unicorn in a primary leading role, as well as the first time he appeared not being called Blackbird.

In the weeks following it's publication readers were sending me requests asking: "Can you write a prequal novel that shows how Quaraun and BoomFuzzy met and how BoomFuzzy became a Lich?" Thus I write the novel BoomFuzzy which was published in 2016.

The other novels came in 2017 to 2021. (Note, ALL novels AFTER Night of the Screaming Unicorn, were written using Dragon speech to text software as I became paralyzed on November 14, 2013 and did not regain the ability to type until May of 2021.)

This is why the novels are written in the exact same dialect which I speak, rather then normal written grammar. I speak Scottish English, and at the time with a very thick accent (I've lost some of the accent over the years and have learned how to say some American words now, so my spokem words are not nearly as "broken" as they were when the novels were written. Dragon Speech to Text software, at the time was known for typing words in dialect spellings, and at the time I had no editor to translate the novels into American English, so these books are written in "spoken dialect" Scottish, and are the exact same way I speak.

but there you have it....WHY the novels are NOT the main story and why, I really have no plans for any more novels in the future.

The series is still and always was a series of short stories, most stories being under a thousand words long each story.

The short stories were never written in any sort of "chronological order" and like hoe The Simpsons TV Show runs forever without characters ageing, with bart always an 8 year old kid for 30+ years, and most episodes never acknowledging the events of previous episodes... same way The Simpsons do that, is how my short stories are. My series is the same characters over and over and over, never really getting any older, rarely acknowledging any events of any other story, and just sort of being "static characters" who live in a "stasis time line that never moves forward."

So, outside of the few I have listed above as "Vol 1, Vol 2, Vol 3, etc" you really can just pick up any volume of the series and read it in any order. Heck, even those ones, you don't NEED to read in order.

And part of the reason, I write it primarily as short stories is because every story was written in one sitting.

It takes me 4 or 5 hours to write most stories. So I end up writing 1, 2, 3, sometimes more in a single day. That's why there are so many.

And I get ideas everywhere. I usually bases them of stuff that has happened in my life.

Like, when I go on a camping trip to Acadia, I'll write my characters camping, and I'll just write the same type of tent I used (I have a 3m bell tent) and write the same hikes I took, as them taking the hike. I just went on a camping trip to Acadia last week of May, so I'm on a "camping hike writing binge" right now.

My pregnancy a few years ago was hell, endless morning sickness at the start, endless blackouts and fainting spells in the mid point, baby died same day he was born, shortly after he was born. This HEAVILY influenced my writing, as before that I almost never wrote a pregnancy, but after that 90% of everything I write now includes a pregnant main character going through all the same troubles I had.

And it changes daily. Like, a fire truck will go by, and I've no clue where they are going, but 5 minutes later I'm writing my character sitting on the lawn and seeing a fire truck go by and just improv from there what happens next.

I tend to write very mundane Slice of Life stories, so literally anything from a shopping trip to WalMart to taking the trash out, becomes a thing I write about.

Anyways, yeah... that is the short summary of the series I write. 

Yes. That IS short.

If you start reading all the worldbuilding, character creating, and how I write the series articles... you'll understand how ^^THIS^^ was considered short; because MOST pages on my website, dealing in talking about writing my series are well over 50k words long PER page and, it takes most people minimum 4 to 5 DAYS to read 50k words, and a lot of people, it takes them 2 or 3 WEEKS to read 50k words. Yeah. I'm kind of long winded in writing about how I write, and I'm not sure why.

One thing is for certain, I have loads of fun writing my characters living in their world.

This is me:

Wendy Christine Allen

These are my main characters:

Quaraun & BoomFuzzy: Frost Lich embracing Moon Elf -- watercolour art by Wendy Christine Allen

UFO & Alien Believers Are Weird-Part 1 of 8

UFO & Alien Believers Are Weird-Part 2 of 8

UFO & Alien Believers Are Weird-Part 3 of 8

UFO & Alien Believers Are Weird-Part 4 of 8

UFO & Alien Believers Are Weird-Part 5 of 8

UFO & Alien Believers Are Weird-Part 6 of 8

UFO & Alien Believers Are Weird-Part 7 of 8

UFO & Alien Believers Are Weird-Part 8 of 8

@eelkat One of Etiole's dens. He has thousands of these all over Maine. A ww2 veteran in his 90s, he's lived in these dens since 1953. #etiole #homelesspeople #homelessness #homelessinmaine #homeless #oldorchardbeach #maine #forest #leanto #homelesslivesmatter #homelessman #den #hermit #mainehermit #mainemountainman #mountainmen #mainelife #mainelifestyle #mainehomeless #homelesscommunity #homelesscrisis #homelessveteran #homelessveteranawareness #homelessawareness #homelesselderly ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Yaoi Author

@eelkat #etiole #homelesspeople #homeless #oldorchardbeach #maine #forest #leanto #homelesslivesmatter #homelessman #den ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Yaoi Author

@eelkat One of Etiole's dens. He has thousands of these all over Maine, dozen or more in almost every town. #etiole #homelesspeople #homelessness #homelessinmaine #homeless #oldorchardbeach #maine #forest #leanto #homelesslivesmatter #homelessman #den ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Yaoi Author

@eelkat #etiole #homelesspeople #homelessness #homelessinmaine #homeless #oldorchardbeach #maine #forest #leanto #homelesslivesmatter #homelessman #den #hermit #mainehermit #mainemountainman #mountainmen #mainelife #mainelifestyle #mainehomeless #homelesscommunity #homelesscrisis #homelessveteran #homelessveteranawareness #homelessawareness #homelesselder #homelesselderly ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Yaoi Author

@eelkat #etiole #homelesspeople #homelessness #homelessinmaine #homeless #oldorchardbeach #maine #forest #leanto #homelesslivesmatter #homelessman #den #hermit #mainehermit #mainemountainman #mountainmen #mainelife #mainelifestyle #mainehomeless #homelesscommunity #homelesscrisis #homelessveteran #homelessveteranawareness #homelessawareness #homelesselder #homelesselderly ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Yaoi Author

@eelkat #etiole #homelesspeople #homelessness #homelessinmaine #homeless #oldorchardbeach #maine #forest #leanto #homelesslivesmatter #homelessman #den #hermit #mainehermit #mainemountainman #mountainmen #mainelife #mainelifestyle #mainehomeless #homelesscommunity #homelesscrisis #homelessveteran #homelessveteranawareness #homelessawareness #homelesselderly ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Yaoi Author

@eelkat #doglife #mainelife #cairnterrier #dogwalk #maine ? original sound - Wendy C Allen | ?? Yaoi Author

@eelkat #doglife #mainelife #cairnterrier #dogwalk #maine ? original sound - Wendy C Allen | ?? Yaoi Author

@eelkat #doglife #mainelife #cairnterrier #dogwalk #maine ? original sound - Wendy C Allen | ?? Yaoi Author

@eelkat #doglife #mainelife #cairnterrier #dogwalk #maine ? original sound - Wendy C Allen | ?? Yaoi Author

@eelkat #doglife #mainelife #cairnterrier #dogwalk #maine ? original sound - Wendy C Allen | ?? Yaoi Author

@eelkat #doglife #mainelife #cairnterrier #dogwalk #maine ? original sound - Wendy C Allen | ?? Yaoi Author

@eelkat #doglife #mainelife #cairnterrier #dogwalk #maine ? original sound - Wendy C Allen | ?? Yaoi Author

@eelkat #doglife #mainelife #cairnterrier #dogwalk #maine ? original sound - Wendy C Allen | ?? Yaoi Author