The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?
EXTREME SPOILER WARNING!
Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it.
Is Quaraun gay?
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Is Quaraun gay?
Quaraun himself is not a gay man. He's also not a transexual.
Quaraun is a transvestite and he has 4 wives.
Yes, he also has 2 male lovers on the side. But that makes him bi-sexual. Not gay.
Quaraun is a bi-sexual, demisexual, meaning an asexual person who refuses to have sex with anyone unless he has first formed a deep emotional relationship with them. He is not attracted to either males or females and will engage in sex with either if he feels a close bond with them.
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which the person feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have a strong emotional bond. Most demisexuals feel sexual attraction only very rarely, and some have little to no interest in sexual activity, often going decades between engaging in sex. Many demisexuals will only engage in sex at the request of their partner and only to satisfy their partner's needs, not their own.
(I am myself demisexual thus why I wrote Quaraun that way.)
His primary lover throughout most of the series is male. In chronological order from youth to old age: he starts out with a male Faerie lover (BoomFuzzy) who commits suicide when Quaraun marries a female Elf.
With his first wife he fathers 2 sets a twins (4 children).
After his wife's death, Quaraun takes another male Faerie lover (Unicorn, who is the regenerated BoomFuzzy).
Shortly afterwards they meet a male half-Elf who eventually becomes another of Quaraun's lovers.
Later he gets lost in a portal world ad marries a Human wife, fathering a daughter with her.
Quaraun is born as the Magical Races are dying out and the Humans are taking over, living to see the Elves brought to near extinction. Quaraun is one of the last male Elves still alive. Humans make an attempt to keep Elves from dying out by enslaving them in zoos to breed them. Quaraun is captured by Humans and used as a breeder. When he escapes he takes with him a female Elf who becomes his 3rd wife.
With his 3rd wife he fathers Vielder and Melaca (the twin kings in the Twighlight Manor series) and after she dies has a 4th wife.
He father's Gwaneesh with her.
In 750 years between the above mentioned primary lovers, Quaraun has random affairs with several male and female lovers. Quaraun father's 8 children with his four wives, is never informed if he fathered more children during his enslavement by Humans, and while several other half-Elf children are rumour to, he never acknowledges any of his half-breed offspring, with the exception of his favourite son Gwaneesh, who grows up to be Dr Vangoneese of the Twighlight Manor series.
While small villages on the outskirts of society tend to be welcoming of wizards, most large cities and upscale regions see wizards as little more then the scum of the Earth. As a result of this Wizards are rarely seen in areas with big populations. Wizards tend to sculk around in lower class, shady places - slums, ports, docks, seedy taverns, and places that are highly infested with pirates, criminals, thieves, whores, bootleggers, moonshiners, and other individuals out cast from upper class society.
Because of this most of the Quaraun series takes place in taverns and inns of ill repute, along the coast, usually in bars on sea ports. Pirates, drunks, drug dealers, prostitutes, and sailors are thus a daily part of Quaraun's life as this is the society he lives with and is a part of. Quaraun is himself often drunk, high, or in bed with prostitutes.
Interestingly, Quaraun is of the habit of paying prostitutes to sleep with him, but not have sex with him. When asked about this, he simply explains he dislikes to sleep alone and it's easy to find prostitutes willing to not have sex with a man as most of the women simply want the money to support their families.
GhoulSpawn on the other hand is frequently seen with many prostitutes, whom he is a frequent customer of. GhoulSpawn just likes sex a lot.
Over the course of his 750 years, Quaraun father's 37 children with prostitutes.
It is not uncommon for the 3 of them (Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn) to spend the night at whore houses, with only GhoulSpawn ever having sex with the women, and them all of them, the 3 wizards and the women, sleeping together. This is due to Quaraun being a pure blooded High Elf, and his species, normally have communal sleeping habits with a dozen or more people all in bed together. Elves are often noted for stating: "No one really notices who is cuddled up with who, just as long as every one is together, it's all good."
Quaraun remains with Unicorn throughout the entire series, acknowledging ONLY Unicorn as his spouse, largely ignoring his other lovers, with the exception of GhoulSpawn who often rivals Unicorn for Quaraun's affections.
Unicorn introduces Quaraun as "my wife" when they meet someone new; depending on the situation Quaraun may or may not admit to being Unicorn's "wife".
The only character in the series who can actually be described as "gay" is Unicorn, who has no interest in females at all.
Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.
The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.
Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.
These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.
Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.
Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.
Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.
Meet The Characters:
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: First draft/sample chapters from the novels.
NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.More sample chapters can be found here: (note, while these chapters are linked in chronological order, they are not continuing one to the next, they are chapters spanning from Volume 1 all the way to volume 119, of a series that has 130 novels/volumes.)
Pink Links are pages on this site. Green links go to the pages found on my DeviantArt account.
Chapter 1: King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish (Chapter 1 of the entire series)BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From HellThe Dying Elf, Gibedon's Head, and King Gwallmaiic's Elf Eating MansionSanta Claus: Lich Of The North PoleAn Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink NecromancerI Loved My Children, But I Loved BoomFuzzy MoreDoe'Uan and The Lonely ElfFinding Finderu Kelim Meets Quaraun The InsanePocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders FindaruCaptured By The Lich Lord An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread PitThe Lich's True Form Revealed Bullgaar the Vulgar The Enchanted MapWaiter, There's a Head In My SoupThe Orcs and The Necromancer The Valley of the Katopas (Part 1)The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)The Beginning of the EndThe Witch Massimara Of Mount YenkaPsychotic Dead ThingsSix Days EarlierThere is no Mournful Lamb InnThe Swamp of DeathThe Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC GremlinIntroducing GhoulSpawnThe Demon Cultists & The Coming of The DarknessEelKat and The Kats of Planet PtarmaginThe Moon Elves of IvujivikThe Return of ZooLock The GreatThe Gremlin's WarningA Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch PondThe Road To Witch Pond (Part 2)The Road To Witch Pond (Part 3)Santa's Dead Floating BodyWorms!GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A PhookaThe Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of DeathA Fourth Letter To Home - The Masochistic Elf With Stockholm SyndromeGhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A PhookaThe Strange Village or I Love The Smell Of Decomposing Bodies In The MorningThe Golden RoosterMeeting MallacSerial Killer At LargeThe Summoner of DarknessCorsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries.Visiting The Scene of Murder #1 With An UnGelded StallionI Never Wanted To Be a WizardSheep AgainBack At The Tavern and Still No ShrimpA Tavern Scene Part 3 - Quaraun, Unicorn, GhoulSpawn, - Time Travel, Chastity Cages, and WhoresTumbling Down Stairs With Slutty Elves and Angry LichesWhere Are You Hiding That Horse?The Hostess Twinkie Aisle of Biddeford WalMartQuaraun Meets HellBorne The EvilThe Map of the TownQuaraun Meets BatDude & Pigeon Poop BoyPepperell Square, Saco, Maine, In The Year 2525No Goldfish, Today?Chocolate Covered Elves Evil Elves How To Kill A LichThe Lover's Triangle At Gremlin's House / Kill The BabyI Am Not GhoulSpawnSheepSanta's Letter to Satan Going North To Head SouthAloneIn Black TowerYou've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman"Sold! To Zebulon, for two million dollars."The Last of The Moon ElvesFarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been
Answering Reader Question About The Quaraun Series:
Behind the Scenes:
A Look At How I Write The Quaraun Series...
The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house.
The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following:
- drug use
- sex fetishes
- CBT (cock and ball torture)
- barbed penises and toothed vaginas
- monsters eating Humans
- blood thirsty Faeries
- Elves eating Elves
- Faeries eating Elves
- squid headed aliens eating brains out of still alive victims
- medieval torture
- stockholm syndrome
- ritual murder
- flaying (skinning a person alive)
- child sacrifice
- vampirism (the mental illness, not the mythical creature)
- crude language (including an excessive use of the words fuck, cock, dick, testicals, balls, scrotum, and penis)
- interracial relationships
- M/m/m relationships
- gay men
- bisexual men
- transvestite men
- men who have sex with unicorns(horses)
- tentacle porn sex with squid headed aliens
- shape-shifter sex
- ménage à trois relationships
- double dicked men
- tripple dicked penitration gay sex scenes
- bananas, pickles, candy canes, unicorn horns, and glass wizard wands used as dildos
- main character Quaraun is a man with 4 wives (one of whom is also his sister, another of whom is also his daughter)
- Quaraun has 2 male lovers
- Quaraun has 4 children by his sister
- Quaraun has 3 children by his daughter
- Quaraun has 1 child that is the result of him raping a woman
- Quaraun has 37 children by prostitutes
- the primary secondary character, Unicorn, is a chemist "candy maker" and detailed instruction of how he makes his drugs, including recipes to do so are included in the novels
The Quaraun series has been banned by the following:
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church
(1991) (Reason: too much sex)
(Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014)
The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine
(2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan)
New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine
(2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)
(Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014)
(2012) (Reason: Too violent)
Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine
(2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church)
(Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint)
Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government
(January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574)
(Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents)
27 volumes of the Quaraun novels were forced to be unpublished/removed from Amazon by the government issued court order that cited these books as "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach"
NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".)
Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban.
Sample Chapters of Many of the Novels Are Available To Read Online:
Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake
Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer
Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive
106: The Haunted Lighthouse
Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada
Volume 108: Friends Are Forever
(Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series)
Volume 119: My Two Favorite People
Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.
Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn, Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.
With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].
Reader discretion is advised.
Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?
Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.
April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing.
October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html
If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.