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A Look at How Much Money A Million Books Sold Is Equal To
or
How Much Money Do Self-Published Authors Make?
aka
Breaking Down the Numbers: Million Book Sales Income Analysis
Understanding the Metrics of Author Earnings in Self-Publishing

So sick of people who think a million books sold equals a million dollars earned.

Stop falling for fucking scammers on YouTube.

I am an author who has sold ten million books, and people always see that number and assume I must be a millionaire. The reality is Amazon's 70% royalty on $2.99 books is NOT $2 like scammers on YouTube want you to believe. The 70% royalty is NOT on the $2.99 cover price. Amazon first deducts delivery fees (which is often more than 30% for ebooks and often more than 60% for print books), then Amazon deducts federal US taxes, then European VAT, than state taxes, then entertainment taxes, than sales taxes from where the author lives, than sales taxes from where the reader lives.

The author's 70% is THAN calculated on what is left.

The average $2.99 book with a 70% royalty earnings brings in between. 20c to .60c per book. Not anything close to $2.

How much did I make on ten million copies sold?

$120k

.and not all at once

I've never earned more than $4,600 in a single year.

The average American makes more money in ONE MONTH than I make in ONE YEAR.

.and yet I'm in the top 7% highest selling authors on the planet

... that's a reality check new writers really need up the ass, because we writers don't make nearly as much as Hollywood movies make writer incomes out to be.

Think about THAT, next time you go off on a "writers are millionaires" la la land loony tune fit.

One hundred and twenty thousand dollars is how much 70% royalty on ten million copies of a $2.99 novel earns.

Not even close to one quarter of a million dollars, let alone the twenty million dollars YouTube scammers claim.

People need a reality check on what writer incomes ACTUALLY look like.

Another thing about ebooks is "gurus" lie about the income. There are MILLIONS of gurus claiming earning a million dollars, even though Amazon themselves issued a public statement saying only THREE authors ever earned a million dollars... like wise there are MILLIONS of guru's claiming they earn $50k MONTHLY, promoting "20to50k" (a scam which states if you publish 20 books you'll earn $50k a month)... in spite of the fact Amazon issued a public statement saying that fewer then ONE THOUSAND authors have ever earned $120k TOTAL lifetime earnings.

I am someone who has in fact sold ten million copies of my books (in 2014 to 2016 - it's unlikely I could repeat it today), and I have YET to reach even $100k in earnings.

Yet the guru's preach that if you sell a book for $2.99 at 70% you earn $2! NO! You don't. BEFORE Amazon calculates royalties they first deduct federal taxes, state taxes, regional/city taxes, VAT fees, if its and ebook there is a digital processing fee and a download fee, if its a print book there are printer fees and paper fees and ink fees... and if the author is in one country but the reader in another contry taxes and VATs get deducted TWICE because they have to be paid for both side but the ATHOR not the reader is the one charged for BOTH... and some places have entertainment taxes and tariffs as well...

...Amazon pays 70% on what is left after all that is deducted from the $2.99 first... and that means what an author earns for 70% royalty of a $2.99 book is around .20c to .60c., NEVER even a full dollar, and not even close to the $2 per sale that gurus preach!

Far too many young writers rush to ebooks expecting $2 per sale and are shocked when they each only PENNIES per sale instead.

Do you know how much I earns from a million copies sold, of a book that was $4.99 at 70% royalty? $12k.

Yes, one million books sold at $4.99 with 70% royalties is an earning of only twelve thousand dollars... the average American earns that much in 2 months working at WalMart... you will earn more from working 2 months at WalMart, then you will earn from selling a million ebooks on Amazon.

A Look at How Much Money A Million Books Sold Is Equal To
or
How Much Money Do Self-Published Authors Make?
aka
Breaking Down the Numbers: Million Book Sales Income Analysis
Understanding the Metrics of Author Earnings in Self-Publishing

This started out as a reply to a question on Reddit. The Reddit thread is linked to here. My page here is longer than my original comment on Reddit, because on Reddit I just gave a general, generic answer, that refrained from any sort of self promotion, and gave no detailed specifics. Here, however, you know who I am and what I write, so here is the same answer written much longer, in more detail, with exacting specifics.

If you want to reply to this, you can head to the Reddit thread and post your own comments there.

I think an important thing too, is that when people look at the number of copies sold, they do not think x copies sold also = to x money made.

I have a book that sold a million copies, and people are quick to then call me a millionaire, when the reality is, the combined total of ALL my income sources (not just writing) for the past 50 years does not even total $250k and that is WITH over ten MILLION copies sold in that time frame.

Yes. I have sold TEN MILLION copies of my books (combined sales of traditional and self published, across 42 years) and the money from that COMBINED WITH income from my 3 retail jobs is LESS than a quarter million dollars.

I think people forget how SMALL royalty percentages are even if it's a high royalty.

One of the most common questions I get asked is “How much money did you make off that book that sold a million copies?” And for some odd reason people always expect the answer to be in the range of around $5million, and then have a near heart attack when they find out I got paid $12k

Yes.

You read that correctly.

The book that sold one million copies, brought in a twelve thousand dollar payment.

How?

While the book is on Amazon priced at $4.99 ebook edition, it sold its million copies during a single week in 2016, during a .99c promotion sake, that kicked off with a 3 day free promo.

That means I made only .34c per copy, AFTER the free copies. And result was in seven days, over one million copies were DOWNLOADED for free, while around 35k more were bought for .99c.

End result was a $12k payout, for over a million copies.

People love to look at the number sold and forget that free promotional offers bring in no money. There are ZERO royalties on FREE books. A million free books equals ZERO income for the author.

The royalty structure established by publishing contracts directly impacts the financial returns authors receive from each book sale.

So yeah, I have sold over ten million books, but I've never made anything even remotely close to even a quarter million dollars because it was all free promos and .99c promos.

People forget to consider HOW MANY books you have to sell to earn even a thousand dollars. Hint: it's a LOT more than five thousand copies you have to sell, in order to earn one thousand dollars.

While the number of downloads may be impressive, authors should remember that free promotional offers generate zero income as there are no royalties on free books.

That's a reality check a lot of people outright ignore, even after they find out about it. They think “I'll be the exception”.

No, you know what, I AM the exception. I'm one of the top 7% highest selling authors on Amazon and my income is below the federal poverty level. There's a reality check for you.

Amazon issued a statement SPECIFICALLY CALLING OUT BY NAME r/eroticauthors and 20booksto50k for the scam artists frauds they are. Amazon published a public statement publicly publishing the ACTUAL payouts they made to all those data porn braggers…why, because in 2017, Amazon got in trouble with the IRS for not reporting the payments to those authors that those authors were posting online.

During the pandemic shutdowns, scam artists got so out of hand, that Amazon had to issue a statement declaring how many authors made how much money.

The total?

Since 2007 only 3, just three, authors have ever earned one million dollars in the lifetime total sales of their books.

And in spite of the well over ten thousand users on r/eroticaauthors and 20booksto50k fb group, all CLAIMING to make $20k to $120k per month… According to Amazon themselves, there have been FEWER than one thousand authors who have ever IN THEIR TOTAL LIFE TIME earned $100k from Amazon. EVER. And Amazon specifically called out the Erotica subreddit and the 20to50 fb group warning new writers NOT to trust the sales figures posted by authors on those 2 places, citing that most of those data porn charts are fake, with Amazon going so far as to post publicly the ACTUAL sales figures of those members.

No, not $100k a month or even a year, but $100k COMBINED TOTAL ALL YEARS SINCE 2007… fewer than one thousand authors have EVER earned $100k TOTAL in all years combined from Amazon.

And, according to that same statement issued by Amazon… There are well over TWENTY MILLION Kindle authors on Amazon who have YET to earn their first one hundred dollar payout.

THIS is the ACTUAL reality of Amazon self publishing, from Amazon themselves.

The fact remains 99.99% of users on r/eroticaauthors and 20booksto50k fb group and other similar places are bold faced lying out their asses about their sales figures and Amazon called them out on it, because the IRS noticed Amazon was not reporting nearly as much income on their taxes forms as these authors were saying online.

Why do these scammy authors CLAIM to earn so much money, when it's easy to prove they do not? Because there is a weird marketing tactic of “fake it til you make it” where by telling people you earn a certain amount, it causes an increase in book sales via people curious to see why the book sold so many copies. And so users on r/eroticaauthors and 20booksto50k fb group and other such places lie about their incomes in order to increase sales.

But, this in turn causes some HUGE unrealistic expectations from new writers who, see fifty authors all claiming to make $120k a month and then the new author sells the mega high amount of a hundred books their first year and thinks they are a failure without realizing they actually sold MORE books then the fakers who were claiming to earn $120k a month.

People are being bamboozled by users on r/eroticaauthors and 20booksto50k fb group into thinking success is self publishing is quite different then the reality of ACTUAL self-publishing success. Those data porn posts are a marketing scheme. They create hype about their sales, to incite people to buy the books. People buy a thing if they think lots of other people already bought it. And Amazon has called them out on it and proved them bold faced liars.

That is WHY so few tell their incomes.

Because the reality is their incomes are lower than minimum wage EVEN IF they are selling a shit ton load of books.

Effective pricing strategies, taking into account market trends and reader expectations, play a key role in determining the overall earnings generated from book sales, but even with the highest royalties out their, authors are earning PENNIES per copy sold. It's crucial for authors to recognize that a million free book downloads may boost visibility but result in zero financial returns, highlighting the importance of finding a balance in promotional strategies.

Even those of us with MILLIONS of copies sold, STILL have to work retail jobs, because those millions of copies sold DO NOT equal millions of dollars earned. Not even close.

I don't make enough money to buy food. I get my food at homeless shelters. I am homeless because I do not make enough money to rebuild my house after the crazy gay haters drove a backhoe over in in 2013.

My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach Maine. July 4, 2013 vs August 8, 2013.

People seriously over estimate how much money we authors make.

It's sad that people hear "a million books sold" and automatically assume I am a millionaire.

A million books sold = twelve thousand dollars earned. Less money then most Americans make in a 3 month period.

My YEARLY income is under FOUR THOUSAND dollars a year. Most Americans make that much per week from flipping burgers at McDonalds or stocking shelves at WalMart.

THAT is the reality of a writer's income.

People who sell 100 copies of their book, learn fast, that one hundred copies sold, isn't even going to pay for a week's worth of coffee from Starbucks. And that is if they are getting the 70% royalty off a $2.99 book.

Amazon REQUIRES the book to be $2.99 in order to get the 70% royalty. Otherwise you get a 35% royalty. This is why so many books are priced at $2.99 regardless of word counts.

And all the delivery fees, taxes. VAT, etc deductions Amazon takes off, come off on the 35% royalties of .99c books too. Meaning authors do NOT earn .34c per .99c book either. No. MOST earn under .10c, with the average being only .07c per book earned.

Meaning 100 books sold at .99c = an income of only $7. Yes.

You read that correctly.

If the author sells their book for .99c, they ONLY make SEVEN DOLLARS per every one hundred books sold.

Let that sink in for a bit.

You have to sell 1,430 copies of your book, to earn $100.

Yes.

You have to sell a whopping one thousand, four hundred and thirty copies of your book, to earn a measly one hundred dollars.

Now if that ain't a reality check kick in your testicles, I don't know what is.

But also FREE books equal ZERO income at all.

Authors often focus on the sheer number of free downloads, but it's essential to consider that these do not contribute to royalties, and the true income is generated from paid sales.

So sick of people who think a million books sold equals a million dollars earned.

Stop falling for fucking scammers on YouTube.

I am an author who has sold ten million books, and people always see that number and assume I must be a millionaire. The reality is Amazon's 70% royalty on $2.99 books is NOT $2 like scammers on YouTube want you to believe. The 70% royalty is NOT on the $2.99 cover price. Amazon first deducts delivery fees (which is often more than 30% for ebooks and often more than 60% for print books), then Amazon deducts federal US taxes, then European VAT, than state taxes, then entertainment taxes, than sales taxes from where the author lives, than sales taxes from where the reader lives.

The author's 70% is THAN calculated on what is left.

The average $2.99 book with a 70% royalty earnings brings in between. 20c to .60c per book. Not anything close to $2.

How much did I make on ten million copies sold?

$120k

.and not all at once

I've never earned more than $4,600 in a single year.

The average American makes more money in ONE MONTH than I make in ONE YEAR.

.and yet I'm in the top 7% highest selling authors on the planet

... that's a reality check new writers really need up the ass, because we writers don't make nearly as much as Hollywood movies make writer incomes out to be.

Think about THAT, next time you go off on a "writers are millionaires" la la land loony tune fit.

One hundred and twenty thousand dollars is how much 70% royalty on ten million copies of a $2.99 novel earns.

Not even close to one quarter of a million dollars, let alone the twenty million dollars YouTube scammers claim.

People need a reality check on what writer incomes ACTUALLY look like.

Another thing about ebooks is "gurus" lie about the income. There are MILLIONS of gurus claiming earning a million dollars, even though Amazon themselves issued a public statement saying only THREE authors ever earned a million dollars... like wise there are MILLIONS of guru's claiming they earn $50k MONTHLY, promoting "20to50k" (a scam which states if you publish 20 books you'll earn $50k a month)... in spite of the fact Amazon issued a public statement saying that fewer then ONE THOUSAND authors have ever earned $120k TOTAL lifetime earnings.

I am someone who has in fact sold ten million copies of my books (in 2014 to 2016 - it's unlikely I could repeat it today), and I have YET to reach even $100k in earnings.

Yet the guru's preach that if you sell a book for $2.99 at 70% you earn $2! NO! You don't. BEFORE Amazon calculates royalties they first deduct federal taxes, state taxes, regional/city taxes, VAT fees, if its and ebook there is a digital processing fee and a download fee, if its a print book there are printer fees and paper fees and ink fees... and if the author is in one country but the reader in another contry taxes and VATs get deducted TWICE because they have to be paid for both side but the ATHOR not the reader is the one charged for BOTH... and some places have entertainment taxes and tariffs as well...

...Amazon pays 70% on what is left after all that is deducted from the $2.99 first... and that means what an author earns for 70% royalty of a $2.99 book is around .20c to .60c., NEVER even a full dollar, and not even close to the $2 per sale that gurus preach!

Far too many young writers rush to ebooks expecting $2 per sale and are shocked when they each only PENNIES per sale instead.

Do you know how much I earns from a million copies sold, of a book that was $4.99 at 70% royalty? $12k.

Yes, one million books sold at $4.99 with 70% royalties is an earning of only twelve thousand dollars... the average American earns that much in 2 months working at WalMart... you will earn more from working 2 months at WalMart, then you will earn from selling a million ebooks on Amazon.

>Those who do this for a living. How?

>I have been self publishing for nearly 2 years. I published my first short story in June of 2022. Since then, I have published more short stories, a novella and a novel. The short stories are in erotica, and the novella and novel are in romance.

So, you only have ONE novel? There’s your problem right there.

Short stories do not sell, neither do novellas. Novels are the big sellers.

Write your next book is the best way to get more sales. But write your next book means write your next NOVEL, not your next novella, not your next short story.

People always point to me and say “But you sold ten million books and your write primarily novellas and short stories”.

Yes, I DO write primarily novellas and short stories. But MOST of my short stories have YET to reach even one thousand copies sold, and while a FEW of my novellas have crossed one thousand sales, NONE had reached 30k sales, with the highest being at 27k sales. AND I have MANY short stories and novellas that have yet to reach ONE HUNDRED sales.

I have published 423 novellas and over 2k short stories and all titles combined have YET to reach 100k sales.

People spend so much time saying “that novella and short story writer sold ten million books” that they forget one very important thing: it was NOT my novellas or short stories that got the big sales, AND those sales were largely to just TWO titles.

In addition to 423 SELF-PUBLISHED novellas and 2k TRADITIONALLY PUBLISHED IN THE 1970s short stories, I also have 138 TRADITIONALLY PUBLISHED in the 1980s novels.

I had ALREADY CROSSED: THIRTY MILLION SALES to one TRADITIONALLY published non-fiction book in 1997, DECADES before self publishing.

And the two self-published books that crossed a million sales each were Epic Length Dark Fantasy NOVELS, one at 157k words (540 pages in it’s paperback edition) and one at 175k words (750 pages in it’ paperback edition)... and here the kicker: these were self-published REPRINTS of two books that ALREADY HAD A FAN BASED and had been PREVIOUSLY TRADITIONALLY published decades earlier. They were 35th anniversary editions.

So, the two self-published books that reached a million sales, were NOT from a non name debut writer, they were NOT novellas or short stories, and they were REPREINTS of books that had been previously traditionally published 35years prior, had been out of print for twenty years…

AND…

The reason those two books were picked, was because I had put up a poll asking my fans “Which titles do you want to see reprinted for the 35th anniversary edition set?” and those were the books readers requested.

So, when those two books went live on Kindle, they sold a million+ copies each in 7 days BECAUSE there were die hard rabid fans lined up and waiting to be the first one to buy the coveted 35th anniversary rerelease of books that were out of print for 2 decades.

Far too many people look ONLY at my sales numbers without looking at WHICH titles got those sales and WHY they got the sales they did.

Another misconception people point out about my sales is this:

People like to say “She’s sells 2k books a month!”

Yes. I sell on average around 2k paperbacks, around 300 hardcovers, and around 5 (yes five) ebooks a month.

So, yes, I DO average around 2k books sold each month.

AND, if you look at my books, specifically their sales rankings, you will notice that my HIGHEST SALES RANK is 4MILLION, while the bulk of my books have a sales rank of 6million to 13million.

What does that mean?

A book with a 4million sales rank on Amazon is a book that sells around ten copies a month, while a book that sits at 10million sales rank on Amazon sells around 1 copies every 3 months.

Meaning, all my books sitting in the 10million sales rank sell around FOUR copies PER YEAR.

Let that soak in.

Not 4 copies a month, not 4 copies a week, not 4 copies a day, but 4 copies PER YEAR.

So, how exactly is it that I average around 2k books sold per month.

I have over 2,500 titles up on Amazon. And most sell fewer than 1 copy per month.

I have 2 novels that each sell 10 to 30 copies per month, 5 novels that each sell around 5 copies per month, 423 novellas that each sell 1 or 2 copies per month, and 2k short stories that each average 5 to 8 copies sold per year, and yes, do the math that comes out to around 2k copies sold per month.

But it is NOT 2k copies of one title. It is 1 to 3 copies a month each of 2k+ titles.

If I did not have 2,500+ books on Amazon, I would not be getting 2k+ sales per month.

None of my books are bestsellers. MOST of my books sell fewer than 5 copies a month. In fact the bulk of my books average just 5 copies sold PER YEAR.

There’s the reality check that most people on this sub are never going to be able to face.

I’m in the top 7% on Amazon. I’m one of the authors Amazon lists in their lists of top highest selling authors, and yet my books struggle to get 5 sales per month, per title.

I’m not one of Amazon’s top sellers because I wrote one book that sells lots of copies each week.

No.

I’m in Amazon’s top list of highest selling authors of all time, because I have TWO THOUSAND books each of which sells ONE copy per month.

MOST of my books sell fewer then TEN copies PER YEAR.

I only sell 2k copies a mont, because I have 2k titles that each sell ONE copy per month.

Next time someone tells you “write more books” but neglects to tell you why. This is why.

Because books don’t sell more then a couple of copies per month, That’s just standard average normal.

If you want to sell a lot of books, you NEED a lot of titles.

Plan on never selling more then one copy of a book per month, figure out how many books you want to sell each month, and that’s how many books you need to write.

You want to sell one hundred books a month. Great. Now all you got to do is write one hundred books.

Too many people get hung up on the number of total sales and forget to count ACROSS HOW MANY TITLES those sales are.

Yes, TWO THOUSAND books sold each month sounds great… but it is NOT two thousand sales of ONE title. It is ONE sale each of TWO THOUSAND titles.

The REASON the biggest sellers have 300 or 500 or 1k or 2k or more books in their backlog is because they NEED that many titles in order to get the sales they get, because harsh reality is MOST BOOKS sell fewer than FIVE HUNDRED copies in its lifetime.

If you sell 500 copies of ONE title, you are already in the top 1% highest selling authors.

Think on that for a while.

Let it really soak in.

If you sell 500 copies of ONE title, you are already in the top 1% highest selling authors, not just self-published, but traditionally published as well.

The people making full time incomes from writing are NOT selling huge numbers of a few titles, rather instead they are selling low numbers of HUNDREDS of titles.

You’ve been publishing since 2022. That’s barely a year.

I’ve never seen an author succeed at a full time career in anything under three years, though for most it is 5 to 6 years. And it’s not about the years, it’s about how many titles they publish. For most they did not start seeling full time incomes until after they crossed ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY titles in their backlog which usually takes 3 years to do

If you are aiming for novels, usually it takes 12 novels to do it, so again, usually 3 years, assuming you publish 4 novels a year.

For novellas plan to publish one a week for 3 years before you see a full time income.

For short stories 3 to 5 a week need to be published for three years, before a steady income starts to show up.

The TL:DR is: you have not published nearly enough titles to see steady sales yet.

Published in 2014, the 157k word Epic Novel Night of The Screaming Unicorn, was the first ever Gay Romance book to be allowed on both BookBub and Amazon, with both BookBub and Amazon creating the Gay Romance category specifically because I wrote to them requesting the category be made for Night of the Screaming Unicorn.

From 2014 to 2016, Night of the Screaming Unicorn was the ONLY book available in the Gay Romance category of both Amazon and BookBub, simply because gay hatred was so severe in the publishing industry, that no authors dare even consider writing Gay Romance at all.

Night of the Screaming Unicorn sold 300k copies the first ten days of it's release, making it one of the highest selling books on Amazon for the year 2014. It reached a million copies sold by the end of the following year.

Most of my books have never surpassed 27k copies sold.

The Night of the Screaming Unicorn is one of only two books I have written to reach a million copies sold.

Keep in mind that what I did to sell a million copies, I did in 2014 and 2016. That was nearly a decade ago. (Today is January 18, 2024). That was an error od Amazon KDP self publishing that was like the Wild West and it was really easy to slap up unedited crap and without marketing sell thousands of copies an hour.

That sort of sales vanished by 2018, and is not possible to do today, so do be mindful of the fact that you WILL NOT be able to repeat what I did, simply because the self publishing landscape has changed so much in the decade since then.

Today, Amazon KDP self publishing is so oversaturated that without heavy duty marketing (aka paying a lot of money on ads) you likely will struggle to sell even a few hundred copies. Such is the nature of the self-publishing industry these days. 

Today, the marketing strategies employed by self-published authors play a pivotal role in determining their overall earnings. But in 2014 and 2016, when I sold the million copies mentioned. marketing options were almost none existent for self publishers, partly due to the stigma against self publishing at the time, and partly due to the fact that no marketing agencies even knew what self publishing was yet, so there were no places where you could buy ads, EXCEPT for BookBub.

In 2014 and 2016, BookBub was easy to get into. You could buy an ad slot and be listed within minutes. Today? There is a waitlist 3 years long for some categories of BookBub and it is recommended you buy your ad slots at minimum 6 months BEFORE the book is released.

Today you need a strong understanding and adapting to the evolving landscape of book discovery, including algorithms and reader recommendations, is crucial for authors aiming to maximize their earnings from sales.

Very important now is building a strong author brand and cultivating a loyal readership contributes to sustained book sales, positively influencing long-term author earnings. This is not a thing we worried about in the early days of self publishing, but branding is a big part of being an author today, so I wasn't doing author branding back then and well, no one was. Branding just wasn't a thing we did back than. You got to thinking about stuff like branding today though. I point this out because, what I did in 2014, just isn't going to work today in 2024. We self pubbed authors need to adapt to the times.

Author earnings are closely tied to the distribution channels chosen, with decisions such as exclusive deals or wide distribution affecting sales volume and income. This is another thing we authors did not have to worry about back then. Simple put we had four choices in 2014: CreateSpace, SmashWords, LuLu, and Kindle. And no one else. Today in 2024, there are dozens of places you can publish and you have to weigh the options of which is best for you and where your target readers are most likly to hang out.

Published in 2016, the 175k word Epic Novel BoomFuzzy (the prequal to Night of The Screaming Unicorn), was the second ever Gay Romance book to be published on Amazon, and promoted by BookBub, from 2018 until 2018, BoomFuzzy remained the highest selling Gay Romance novel on Amazon for 2 full years, only moving down to 12th place in 2019, BECAUSE in 2019, TEN other authors published Gay Romance on Amazon for the first time.

By the end of 2019 more than a hundred other authors had published Gay Romance books and BoomFuzzy finally left the top 100 list highest selling Gay Romance novel on Amazon in 2021, where it had remained for 4 years. BoomFuzzy sold 10k copies in under an hour of its release, surpassed 100k copies by the end of it's first day, and reached a million copies sold by day 3 of it's release.

Throughout its 2 years as the #1 bestselling Gay Romance novel on Amazon, it sold around 2k copies a month, dropping to around 1k copies per month in it's lower spots on the top 100 list the 2 years following. Today in 2024, 7 years after its release it continues to sell 100 t0 200 copies a month.

BoomFuzzy is my #1 highest selling book of all time.

The timing of book releases and capitalizing on seasonal or thematic trends can impact the success of sales campaigns, affecting author earnings during specific periods.

This was true for BoomFuzzy.

The BookBub listing for BoomFuzzy was in February 2016 - Valentine's week. This contributed HEAVILY to it's sales, it being a Romance novel.

But again, it was a FREE PROMOTIONAL SALE. The book was available as a FREE DOWNLOAD, via that BookBub ad.

Free promotional campaigns can be a powerful tool for increasing a book's reach, but authors should be mindful that the direct financial impact is limited as there are no earnings from free copies.

While free giveaways can create buzz and attract new readers, authors must devise strategies to monetize their work beyond the promotional period to ensure a sustainable income stream. And I completely did not think of this at all. So, yeah, a million copies were given away during the free promo, BUT, that means I made ZERO dollars off those million copies.

Free promotional offers should be viewed as a strategic investment in building an author's platform rather than a direct source of income, requiring a thoughtful approach to long-term financial sustainability. But, so many authors, do EXACTLY what I did. Put up a free promo through Kindle Unlimited, boost it with BookBub, get hundreds, thousands, even millions of "sales" just like I did, and at the end of the week, they have a book that "sold" huge amounts of copies, but they have ZERO income from it. And BookBub ads are not free, and they sure as hell aren't cheap. I paid two thousand dollars each time, and those were the CHEAPEST ads. The 24hr ads. If you want a week long ad on BookBub, you are looking to spend ten thousand dollars or MORE.  

But the thing is, BookBub ONLY accepts FREE promo days books through KU, so, if you pay $10k for the week long ad, you are going to see ZERO income for that ten thousand dollars spent. 

THIS is why so many authors talk about paying well over a hundred thousand on an ad champaign, they bemoaning that they only saw a few hundred dollars return. 

Me, I didn't see a loss, because, I had the book free for only 3 days, then a .99c sale the last 4 days, and only paid for one 24hr ad ($2k) on BookBub. Over a million books got downloaded the free days and over 35k more were bought on the .99c days, so I say a $12k income on a $2k ad campaign, and it wasn't a loss. But most authors run their book free the full 7 days and make not even a penny AND spend way more than $2k on BookBub ads because they buy a full week of BookBub ads. 

I find it funny no one is answering these, but I will. People are always asking what I write to get over a million sales.

>What genre do you write?

Furry Yaoi (Anthropomorphic Gay Romance)

>What tropes do you write?

Sexless CBT BDSM with hair shampooing fetish, hair brushing fetish, and genital piercing fetish.

CBT = Cock and ball torture.

Quaraun is a masochist, with a piercing fetish. In short: he likes having his foreskin and scrotum pierced.

The novel called BoomFuzzy, reached the sales it got, largely due to "the candy cane scene" where BoomFuzzy started shoving candy canes up Quaraun's dick hole.

Yep. The lesson here: shove candy canes up an Elf's dick and you'll sell a million copies of that book.

Candy Canes - the secret to the million sales of the novel BoomFuzzy

Other scenes in that same novel including Quaraun's hands being crushed in a mill stone grinder, his penis being split in half with a knife, then being sewn back up and held together with 57 gold rings.

Did I mention I do not write sex scenes, but these books are EXTREMELY not safe for work and readers consider them Erotica?

There are no sex scenes, because Quaraun is scared of sexual intercourse and refuses to have actual sex.

BoomFuzzy is sadistic and loves torturing people, and when he finds out Quaraun is a masochist who loves being sexually tortured, the two become inseparable lovers on that fact alone.

The Golden Showers fetish appears often, as BoomFuzzy likes peeing on people, and Quaraun's okay with that.

Mutual masterbation scenes are frequent, as are scenes of public masterbation. Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are both quick to masterbate in public, either themselves or each other, and they don't give a shit who sees them do it.

Some levels of scat fetish show up. If a side character complains about their public displays of affection in a restaurant, BoomFuzzy won't think twice about walking onto their table and talking a shit in their plate.

The series is full of brutal, bloody, toe curling sexual torture scenes, and Quaraun being addicted to endless pain, while BoomFuzzy jerks off while he tortures Quaraun.

GhoulSpawn does not appear in either of the two million seller novels, but is in most every other volume and is into voyeurism, and gets off on watching BoomFuzzy sexually brutalising Quaraun.

Due to the extreme violent sexual torture scenes many of the books can not be published on SmashWords, let alone Amazon.

The books that used to be on Amazon and were banned by Amazon and had to be removed, were banned for the reoccurring scenes of BoomFuzzy in his Unicorn form, ramming his horn up Quaraun's dick hole. And/or the knotting scenes - like a wolf, BoomFuzzy's penises "knot" upon erection, meaning he can not remove himself from his partner once inside, until after he relaxes. This is made worse by barbs, which like talons, rip into his partner. So, double dicked, with knotting, and lethal barbs. BoomFuzzy can, and has, killed his sex partners, simply by pulling out too soon and ripping their entrails out upon doing so.

Amazon banned Knotting Fetish and Golden Showers fetish in 2017, which is why the bulk of the Quaraun books had to be removed from Amazon.

BoomFuzzy is a Double Dicked Unicorn, so he has two penises. BoomFuzzy has magic penis rings that he sometime wears, allowing him to shoot lightening bolts out of one penis and fireballs out of the other.

Quaraun has nipple rings, with the same powers. Meaning Quaraun can shoot lightening bolts from one nipple and fireballs from the other nipple.

GhoulSpawn, is a sheep that has mutated into a Humanoid due to a comet hitting the moon, and so GhoulSpawn has a sheep penis... meaning a very big corkscrew shaped penis.

Etiole, the EelMerman, has a snake penis, which is a barbed penis with two heads on it.

There are well over 75 other male characters, each of whom have had their penises describing in lengthy vivid detail.

There are no sex scenes in the Quaraun books, but there are penis on parade left and right, and more naked men jerking off than you can shake a stick at, so even without sex scenes, the series is incredibly not safe for work.

There are also M-Preg stories in the series, where Quaraun gets pregnant. He's been pregnant twice. Yep. Pregnant males. Welcome to the world of Yaoi. There is a reason Yaoi and Gay Romance are two vastly different genres.

Yaoi is gay men written for straight women readers, whereas Gay Romance is gay men written for gay male readers. Yaoi is a form of Henti. Gay Romance is a form of Romance.

Speaking of Henti, yes, tentacle porn is another fetish that shows up often in the series.

Unfortunately, due to Amazon's puritine rules, many of the highly sexual scenes are not in the Amazon editions. Amazon editions are very tame, and are toned down drastically. The ONLY place where you can find the fully uncensored, uncut editions are here on my website.

And yet, the irony of this is WHY I wrote this wild, Monster Porn book to begin with.

My son was murdered.

And had my son NOT been murdered, I never would have sold a million books, because had my not not been murdered, I never would have written this wild Monster Porn book which sold a million copies.

I'll explain.

You see...

I HATE gay haters and here’s why.

I am in Maine, where most towns have laws banning trans people from buying property, owning houses, owning businesses, and the average Mainer thinks nothing wrong with beating trans people with golf clubs. I am crippled with a broken spine, for the past 11 years, crippled the same day my son was murdered, November 14, 2013, both by a crazy trans hater welding a golf club.

If you have any info about this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

The news barely mentioned it, and only to say "trans person was mugged" even though no theft had occurred.

My injuries and my 8 month old son's death were not mentioned at all. This happened a few weeks after the same group of trans haters drove a backhoe over my house on August 8, 2013.

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Wendy Christine Allen’s house seen July 4, 2013 and August 8, 2013.

EVERYTHING We Are Allowed To Publicly Release About The FBI Investigation Can Be Found HERE

I have been both crippled and homeless these past 11 years since. That is the reality a lot of trans people live with and because the news does not cover it, most people have no clue how bad things really are for us in a world where haters walk free because killing the infant of a trans person is seen as saving the baby's life.

But here’s the kicker:

I’m a straight cis female.

I’m neither gay nor trans.

I’m a Gypsy, and I wear bright colour clothes, kimono, and hijab… and my attackers, said they KNEW I was “a transvestite freak pretending to be a woman, because no real woman dresses like that”.

I’m a Gypsy, and I wear bright colour clothes, kimono, and hijab… and my attackers, said they KNEW I was “a transvestite freak pretending to be a woman, because no real woman dresses like that”.

And you know what else, some on them were waving around paperback copies of my books, calling me a writer of Gay Erotica.

But here’s the thing: Before these attacks, I had never heard the words “gay”, “transgender”, or “transvestite” before. And I had no clue it was even possible for same gender couples to exist.

Why?

I’m a 5th generation FLDS Mormon, and had been born and raised on a farm compound that did not have electricity, had zero contact with Americans, and did not allow females to set foot off the farm, and is commonly mistaken by locals for us being Amish. And so before these people DROVE HUNDREDS OF MILES into the middle of forested nowhere to attack our farm, I had no concept of “gay”, “transgender”, or “transvestite”, or “Erotica” as I had never heard of any of those things before.

I didn't even know what they was talking about.

It is baffling, as to why they were waving around copies of my books and calling them Gay Erotica, as, I there was nothing even remotely gay or erotic in my books at all. Clearly they had NEVER READ the books they were accusing of being gay and erotica, because as my ACTUAL readers are well aware, EVERY story I have ever written is a group of hippies camping out in the woods or spending the night in a haunted house. EVERY BOOK. All of them.

Also, MOST of my books were published by Deseret Industries, a Christian Publishing House owned by the LDS/Mormon Church, and MOST of my short stories were published in…

…wait for it…

…you’re gonna LOVE this one..

• Cricket magazine for children 3 to 8 years old
• LadyBug magazine for children 3 to 8 years old
• Highlights magazine for children 3 to 8 years old
• The Weekly Reader magazine for children 3 to 8 years old
• Friend magazine for LDS Christian children 5 to 12 years old
• The New Era magazine for LDS Christian girls 12 to 18 years old
• Walt Disney Adventures a comic book for children 5 to 10 years old
• Mickey Mouse Adventures a comic book for children 5 to 10 years old
• Donald Duck Adventures a comic book for children 5 to 10 years old
• Uncle Scrooge Adventures a comic book for children 5 to 10 years old

Let that sink in for a minute.

Made hardly anything on those as magazines do not pay royalties, they pay a one time fee that is from $5 to $200 per story. You can not make a full time income writing short stories for children's magazines, but writing for children's magazines is what I did PRIOR to my son's murder in 2013.

My writing style changed DRAMATICLY in 2014, when I switched from Children's books to Monster Porn, BECAUSE of the gay haters who attacked.

I’m a children’s author.

From 1978 to 2014 I published more than TWO THOUSAND short stories in those and other similar children’s magazines.

THOSE are the things these gay haters called Gay Erotica.

Yeah.They were so full of blind hate for gays, that they attacked a straight 8 month pregnant, cis-female, author of children’s short stories published by Disney and Christian magazines, who was born legally blind and mute, murdering her baby, leaving her crippled, driving a backhoe over her house, all because somehow these gay hating idiots convinced themselves that she was a transvestite author of Gay Erotica who was pretending to be a woman.

And to this day, I still don’t know who started that malicious, slanderous, libelous, defamation rumor, but you better believe if I ever find out who that busy body gossiping piece of shit is I’m suing them to hell and back for it and holding their responsible for my son’s murder.

There are no sex scenes in my books, and before these attacks, there were no gay or trans characters either.

Did you know that BEFORE January 2016 my books were Dark Fantasy and NOT Yaoi?

Did you know that my series was published from 1978 to 2016 without a single gay character in it?

• Quaraun was NOT gay in all books published prior to 2016. Did you know that?
• BoomFuzzy was NOT gay in all books published prior to 2016. Did you know that?
• GhoulSpawn was NOT gay in all books published prior to 2016. Did you know that?
• Prior to 2016, these 3 characters had wives and children, and did not live together and were not lovers.
• But I HATE gay haters so much, that in February 2016, I unpublished ALL 138 novels, ALL 423 novellas, ALL 2k+ short stories, so that I could rewrite every one of them, with it’s previous NOT gay characters now being gay.

You see, I REALLY did not like the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, on January 4, 2016, marching into my yard, with the fucking York County Sheriff, telling me I was not allowed to live on land I had lived on since 1975, because one of my neighbours told them that I, a straight cis-female, was a trans woman, and therefore too gay to live in Old Orchard Beach, a town that, according to the Sheriff, HAS A FUCKING LAW BANNING GAY COUPLES FROM LIVING IN IT… and I’m not even male, let alone gay! Which is why, that same day, I did a Lady Godiva and walked naked from my driveway through Old Orchard Beach, to the town hall a quarter mile away and told then face to face EXACTLY what I thought of them calling me a man pretending to be a woman.Had these attacks not happens, I likely still to this day would be unaware that gay men or trans people existed, and my formerly straight characters most certainly wouldn’t be gay.

• My characters BECAME gay BECAUSE on August 8, 2013 gay haters drove a backhoe drove over my house because they MISTOOK me a LEGALLY BLIND and MUTE, FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT STRAIGHT CIS-FEMALE for the false accusation being a gay man in a dress, simply because I WEAR PINK.

• My characters BECAME gay BECAUSE on November 14, 2013 gay haters beat me up with golf clubs because they MISTOOK me a LEGALLY BLIND and MUTE, EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT STRAIGHT CIS-FEMALE, and murdered my baby, broke my legs, my hips, my vertebra, and severed my spinal column leaving me crippled for the rest of my life for the false accusation of being a gay man in a dress, simply because I WEAR PINK.

No matter what you write, you are going to piss of someone.

If you write gay characters, the conservative gay haters will hate you.

If you avoid gay characters, the woke liberals will hate you.

If you write black characters, you’ll be told you are racist.

If you do not include black characters, you’ll be told you are racist.

If you write straight couples, you’ll be told sex is evil.

If you write gay couples, you’ll be told sex is evil.

If you write Christian Romance, you’ll be called a prude.

If you write Erotica, you’ll be called a slut.

No matter what you write, there is going to be someone out there, so full of themselves, with their head shoved so far up their own ass, that they will feel the self-righteous indignation, to condemn you.

Why did I decide to write this just now?

My boyfriend decided to tell me I’m going to hell because I write a gay couple. He says he still loves me and is going to pray for the repentance of my soul.

Yep.

Have you ever SEEN the gay “couple” that I write?

It’s a trio, not a couple, and it’s an Elf, and a purple Unicorn, and a Golden Fleeced Sheep.

Here, have a picture, to help that sink in better:

Quaraun (an Elf), BoomFuzzy (a unicorn), GhoulSpawn (a sheep). They did not have "human" forms, prior to the 5 novels mentioned on this page, and existed for 4 decades of published stories, as Quaraun's pets. Art by Wendy Christine Allen.

I’ll wait for you to realize what that picture shows you.

Do you realize, that I have been writing this series since 1978, and there are no sex scenes, no romance scenes, or anything else to indicate that the Elf who travels with a horse and a sheep is gay or that the horse and sheep are his lovers?

My boyfriend/husband (he has DID and some days he’s my boyfriend, some days he’s my fiance, some days he’s my husband, and some days he’s a virgin high priest, depending on which day you talk to him), has spent the past three DECADES rallying his church buddies into rip roaring frenzies of my “Gay Erotica” books, that… oh look, have been published in The Friend Magazine, Mormon church published children’s magazine for 4 to 8 year olds.

Let THAT sink in.

Also been published in Highlights Magazine for Children.

Cricket Magazine for Toddlers…

It’s an Elf wizard, and his unicorn, and his sheep.

But… local Christians decided it was gay Erotica, I don’t know why, but they decided it was gay Erotica, so they drove a backhoe over my house, broke my spine with a golf club, and murdered my son with the same golf club.

If you know who my son’s murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

Do you know who this woman is? She beat my 8 month old infant son’s head in with a golf club. We don’t know who she is…medium.com

EVERYTHING We Are Allowed To Publicly Release About The FBI Investigation Can Be Found HERE aka Full details of the events surrounding my son’s murder and my becoming crippledmedium.com

I HATE gay haters and here’s why.

Do Problematic author lists make anyone else uncomfortable?

Tomorrow is Easter…but my son was murdered, so Easter is a day of Hell.

Frustrations of relearning to walk

Why my motorhome was painted pink
— If you have any info please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322medium.com

I HATE gay haters!

Old Orchard Beach & Biddeford, Maine, USA

Soo… BECAUSE deranged gay haters, thought an Elf, and a unicorn, and a sheep, was a gay couple, I wrote 5 volumes, novels, that WERE Gay Erotica, and they sold over a million copies.

You’ve sold ten million copies of your books? But you’re not even a good writer!
aka a look at why junk food books outsell perfect prose books in leaps and bounds. 

And then I went back to writing the Children’s Middle Grade fiction short stories that I have been writing for 50 years not.

Why do I tell you all this?

Because…

PEOPLE SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE.

There were no gay couples in my short stories, but gay haters saw them anyways.

Gay haters were so hell bent on trying to find gay people to hate, that they saw gay characters in places where no gay characters existed.

In fact, the Elf has a wife and a bunch of children, a fact that my boyfriend and his church buddies would have known, had they stopped speculating what they THOUGHT was in my books, and had taken the time to actually read my books for themselves.

Haters are DESPERATE to hate something and they will have themselves grand old hallucinations to convince themselves you and your books ARE the thing they hate, even when you and your books are not even close to being the thing they hate.

So… gay haters will hate you even if you DO NOT write gay characters.

Sex haters will hate you even when you do NOT write Erotica.

So, you might as well just write the things you want to write and stop worrying about pleasing anyone, because they will BELIEVE you wrote things they hate, even if you didn't write those things anyways.

The thing is, I don't write Erotica.

I've never written Erotica.

I don't even write sex scenes.

And those 5 novels that people CALL "Gay Erotica"... well you go read them for yourself, and you'll see how brain dead retarded anyone who calls my books "Erotica" is.

People who call my books Erotica, make total idiots out of themselves, and prove they've never read one of my books, every single time they accuse my books of being Erotica.

You see, I'm asexual.

And I hate sex.

I hate sex a LOT.

There has NEVER been an instance in my life, where I have had sex WILLINGLY.

And that makes me hate sex even more.

Which is WHY I absolutely refuse to write sex.

But these people, were so hellbent on believing there was sex, erotica, and gay romance in my books, that they drove a backhoe over my house, crippled me, and murdered my son.

And so now there ARE gay characters in my books.

The unicorn who for 4 decades was always just a horse, became a shape shifter with a human form.

The sheep who was for 4 decades always a sheep, became a furry, a sheep who evolved into a man.

And the FEMALE Elf, Quaraun, became intersex, with both male and female genitals.

THESE NOW GAY characters were NOT GAY for the first FOUR DECADES of stories they were published in:

Quaraun

BoomFuzzy

GhoulSpawn

The series WAS seen as a FORM of "Erotica" at the time the books were selling millions of copies. But, ONLY by people who never read it.

The novel BoomFuzzy, is LITERALLY the court transcripts of the Guy Gamon Murder trail and my mother's cat court case murder trial... with the short story "The Hanging Tree" woven in between the lines of the court transcript.

Yeah.

THAT is why it sold a million copies: to every police officer and lawyer in the state of Maine.

Police and lawyers and judges involved in the court case bought it, BECAUSE it WAS accounted when it was released, that it was the court transcripts.

Do you know what that means? It means ALL mentions of sex in that book, are the actual transcripts of rape victim testimonies.

Let THAT sink in for a bit.

I told you, I have NEVER written a sex scene in my entire life.

People are so hell bent on seeing Erotica in places where there is none, that they deceive themselves into to thinking they read a sex scene, even when there was none there.

Go back and reread: BoomFuzzy and Night of the Screaming Unicorn, and you'll see what I mean.

It is NOT even close to Erotica today in 2024. (At least, not on Amazon - the stuff you find on my site here, often IS the old Erotica editions that were removed from Amazon.) 

I deleted all my Erotica off KDP in 2017 and no longer write Erotica at all. I moved to Sweet/Fluffy Romance (Romance with ZERO sex scenes). So my experience with Amazon’s “Adult Filters/Dungeon” is from an era when Monster Porn was not yet banned and we Monster Porn Authors could write anything and sell thousands of copies an hour and Amazon thought it was a-okay. 

Meaning - my info could be VERY outdated, as I no longer write stuff that teeters on Amazon’s danger zones, and I haven’t since 2017...and if you today in 2024 tried to do what I did in 2010 to 2017 to sell mega shit ton loads of books, you'll get banned off Amazon AND SmashWords AND LitErotica because none of those sites allow Vore or Vorn any more. 

Yes. 

I DID say Vore. 

Not Erotica. Vore.

It's SplatterPunk Horror.

BoomFuzzy is the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley. That means he eats Elves. Literally. He's a master chef. He cooks the elves. The four in his gingerbread is made out of ground Elf bones.

Quaraun is an insane Elf who hates other Elves and helps the Elf Eater capture, cooks, and eat Elves. Yes, Quaraun eats other Elves. 

BoomFuzzy has sex with dead Elves. Or so you are told.

BoomFuzzy and Quaraun have sex on top of dead Elves. Or so you are told.

Did I mention the series was classified as Vore at the time it sold millions of copies? 

Vore is a genre where serial killers have sex while killing people, continue to have sex while cooking people, then continue to have sex while eating people. And often the people are still alive while being cooked. 

You are also told that a psychiatrists is reading to you BoomFuzzy's testimony from court after he was arrested and sent to an insane asylum. And the doctor tells you they can find no evidence of ANYTHING either BoomFuzy of Quaraun said being true.

Did you forget what the series is CALLED? Quaraun the INSANE. The scenes of the series swing back and forth constantly between SunTa a serial killer in prison, and Quaraun, the Elf he claims he was in his youth.

The Twighlight Manor segments are the real world, the Quaraun segments are the world as SunTa sees it, the unicorn segments are the world as BlackBird, another serial killer, sees it.

Did you ever notice that right in the middle of a scene, the scene will stop because...

"Wait a minute," Harrier said, interrupting SunTa's story. "I was there I know that's not what happened."

And the story sudden pans out and you see the Twighlight Manor and it's characters and are shown that Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are not real, because they are just how Sunta and BlackBird see themselves?

But you'd know that had you ever read one of my books.

And the fact that these gay haters do NOT know that, and instead THINK my books are Erotica, is VERY telling.

Someone is running around spreading rumors and lies about what my books are.

Someone is really hellbent of trying to convince everyone I write Erotica.

But I've never understood why.

A character sitting in a mental institute, wearing a straight jacket and bragging to a psychiatrist that he had sex... is not what most people would call Erotica.

You see, Erotica, is sex scenes that last for page after page after page after pge, without any story, without any plot.

And also, the genre called "Monster Porn" has no sex in it.

The word porn mean "obsession".

Food Porn is someone who is obsessed with food.

Look up food porn on Pinterest. It's ALL photos of food.

Unicorn Porn is "someone who is obsessed with unicorns", and that includes most every toddler in America.

Retarded illiterate people who are incapable of understanding the meanings of words, are the ONLY people who see the word "monster porn" and think "sex".

Monster Porn is NOT another word for Monser Erotica.

Monster Erotica is about sex with monsters. And includes such titles as Cum 4 BigFoot by Virginia Wade.

Monster Porn, is a gory, bloody, brutal, horror genre, that features a monster hunting and stalking victims and is written in such a way that fans of monster sympathize with the monster and not it's victims. The Monster Porn genre includes such titles as Dracula by Bram Stoker and Frankenstein by Mary Shelly and The Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe.

Vore is a strange genre. 

And not many people write the Vore genre so it sells like mega hotcakes when fans of Vore find it. 

In 2017, Amazon dungeoned 27 of my books, which, I think was me being VERY lucky, and I think it had a lot to do with how many books I was selling, because that same day Amazon mass banned THOUSANDS of Monster Porn Erotica authors, full deleted their accounts and their books, and I know for a fact their books were VERY tame compared to mine.

I wrote Vorn Monster Porn Rape Fantasy Erotica, featuring a double-dicked serial killing unicorn, who had talon barbs and venom coming out of his extendable dick that would go throw them come out their mouth, and rip them in half, than he’d cook them and eat them and the whole thing was written out in full graphic detail, each book was a novel over 150k words long, and was straight up blood, torture, and rape on every page.

And people think that means Erotica. But, is it? Few would call a monster chopping up his victims and cooking them in a stew pot as Erotica. And if you DO think a monster chopping up people and cooking them in a stew pot is Erotica, well, you probably should be in either prison or a straight jacket.

I write Dark Fantasy and Slice of Life, not Erotica, and anyone who ever ACTUALLY read my books knows that.

I hate sex. And anyone who has ever ACTUALLY read my books, know that too.

My main character Quaraun is a serial killer who has a vendetta against sex and he kills people who have sex, simply because, he really doesn't like sex.

A large portion of the short stories are nothing but straight up character introspective of Quaraun sitting in a tavern and bitching about how much he hates sex.

While the early series was Middle Grade fiction written for 8 year old children... since my son's murder, MURDER is now front and center on the Quaraun books written SINCE 2014.

MURDER not SEX is what the Quaraun books are about...but not until 2014, AFTER my son was murdered.

From 1978 to 2013, there was nothing you wouldn't read as a bedtime story to a toddler in my Quaraun books.

Nothing.

And yet, in 2013, here we have people accusing my books of being Gay Erotica?

Why?

Because they saw a female Elf with a pet unicorn, and somehow translated that into a gay male Elf who had sex with gay male unicorns, and I have no idea how or why they translated it that way, but that is what they did, and they pissed themselves off over innacuratly thinking my books was gay, so much that they drove a backhoe over my house and murdered my son.

And so BECAUSE they saw gay elves were there was none, BECAUSE they drove a backhoe over my house, BECAUSE they murdered my son... now my characters ARE gay, just to spit the child murdering mother fuckers who murdered my son over gay characters that didn't exist.

So… gay haters will hate you even if you DO NOT write gay characters.

Sex haters will hate you even when you do NOT write Erotica.

So, you might as well just write the things you want to write and stop worrying about pleasing anyone, because they will BELIEVE you wrote things they hate, even if you didn't write those things anyways.

And now, suddenly I have a book that sold a million copies, BECAUSE gay haters ran around telling everyone I wrote gay erotica... but, LOOK at the reviews on the book - reviews from angry readers who said they ONLY bought the book because someone at their church told them it was Erotica and they read it and are pissed off because it is NOT Erotica.

Yeah.

I have so many one star reviews on my books all saying some variation the same thing: "someone at my church told me this was Erotica so I bought it, but they lied to me there isn't even any sex in this book!"

Yeah, well, guess what. I am the author and I have been saying right along:

I DO NOT WRITE EROTCA!

I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN A SEX SCENE IN MY LIFE!

I AM A 5th GENERATION LDS/MORMON!

And then people say:  "But I thought you was just using reverse psychology when you said you do not write sex, I thought that meat you wrrite a lot of sex"

NO.

What part of I am a 5th GENERATION LDS/MORMON do you knot understand?

Reverse psychology is a form of telling a lie. Liars burn in hell. 

I do not use reverse psychology because I do not lie.

I was known for the most extreme levels of extreme Hentia Vorn on Amazon, and it is WHY I was selling so many millions of books BACK THAN, but am NOT selling millions of books today.

VORN.

Not Erotica.

VORN = slasher horror, blood and guts flying everywhere.

Not sex. Gore.

Torture porn.

Brutal bloody torture scenes.

Not sex scenes.

My son was murdered.

I was 8 months pregnant and a lunatic with a golf club ripped him out of my belly and bashed his brains out with a golf club.

I started writing brutal murder scenes to deal with the fact my so was brutally murdered in front of me.

With Amazon’s bans of extreme torture porn, there is no way today that I could get anything even remotely close to the sales I was getting 2010 to 2016. The stuff I wrote in 2010 to 2016, has been banned not only by Amazon, but also SmashWords, and even LitErotica won’t allow it anymore.

Torture Vorn and Erotica was both banned by Visa and Mastercard, so EVERY website that accepts Visa and Mastercard, had to ban it or lose the ability to accept payments via credit cards.

So you can not publishe EITHER Brutal gore scenes OR Erotica sex scenes on Erotica anymore. But that does not make VORE = Erotica.

VORN. Monster Porn. Meaning monsters ripping people apart.

Not Erotica. Not Monster Erotica which is sex with monsters.

VORN = slasher horror, blood and guts flying everywhere.

Not sex. Gore.

Torture porn.

Brutal bloody torture scenes.

Not sex scenes.

My son was murdered.

I was 8 months pregnant and a lunatic with a golf club ripped him out of my belly and bashed his brains out with a golf club.

I started writing brutal murder scenes to deal with the fact my so was brutally murdered in front of me.

And so NOW, in 2024, because of THAT, these same idiots who accused me of writing Erotica back in 2013, are AGAIN accusing me of writing Erotica in 2024... and AGAIN... you can see how much they have their heads shoved up their own asses, AGAIN, you can see how much they have NEVER READ my books, otherwise they would know, what I write.

So again I say… gay haters will hate you even if you DO NOT write gay characters.

Sex haters will hate you even when you do NOT write Erotica.

So, you might as well just write the things you want to write and stop worrying about pleasing anyone, because they will BELIEVE you wrote things they hate, even if you didn’t write those things anyways.

I was Amazon’s #3 highest selling Monster Porn Author from 2010 to 2013. (I am/was Gwendolyn Wyldes - I deleted that entire penname and all its books off Amazon, so there is nothing by that penname on Amazon anymore)

From 2014 to 2016 I sold ten million copies of books that today would be banned by even SmashWords, and you couldn't get within a mile of Amazon.

The book I wrote that sold a million copies in 7 days, opened up with a graphically detailed rape scene that was 10k words of graphic descriptions, and contained well over a dozen VORN rape scenes throughout the book (Vore = rapist cooking and eating rape victims while raping them, ultimately killing the victim and continuing to rape them after death). Super-Gorn levels of Vorn Monster Porn Rape Fantasy Murder Porn Erotica was what I was known for. Extreme taboo stuff that even Taboo Erotica authors wouldn't touch.

Then 2017, Amazon mass banned several thousand Monster Porn authors, mass deleted well over a hundred thousand books. The biggest names, got our books dungeoned that same day, in what we assumed was a “warning” from Amazon telling us, we were big enough sellers that they were going to give us a few days to delete our books and keep our author accounts, so those of us who had not lost our accounts, just mass deleted our Monster Porn books on our own. Most did the same thing I did and quit writing Erotica completely, started writing tame Sweet Romance instead. 

But by 2017 Amazon had full banned that sort of extreme taboo Erotica, so I mass deleted all my Monster Porn off Amazon, put it up free to read on an author website instead, and then switched to writing VERY TAME stuff for Amazon.

The thing is, it is NOT Amazon or other self-publishers saying “No!”. It is Visa and MasterCard saying “No!”. 

So, EVERY website that uses Visa or MasterCard as a payment option, simply is not allowed (by Visa and MasterCard) to sell certain things on their website. 

Had MasterCard not banned Vore, Amazon, SmashWords, and LitErotica would still be a okay with us publishing it and we who write it would still be selling millions of copies on Amazon. 

With the genre I used to write now banned, I no longer write it aaaaand, my sales are no longer in the millions. 

There are some other strange niches in the series as well, which, I did not think were odd at the time I put them in, but many, many, many readers have pointed them out as being odd.

• Quaraun is homeless. He travels on foot (until the point when he gets a vardo, and then he travels in that). He sleeps in a tent that he sets up beside the road at night.

• BoomFuzzy is also homeless. He travels with Quaraun.

• GhoulSpawn is also homeless. He travels with Quaraun.

Readers often mistake the setting for being 1400s, in spite of it being the 40th century cyberpunk far future Earth. This is because Quaraun does not have or use electricity, running water, toilets, cars, phones, tvs, or other such exhortative opulent luxuries that Americans perceive as necessities. These things are encountered when he goes into the cities to buy and sell supplies, but otherwise are devoid from the series.

Quaraun is a silk weaver. He raises silk worms inside a miniature silk farm that he keeps in a snow globe in his pocket. Opening the snow globe, restores the trees to full size so he can harvest the cocoons. He makes all his own clothes, and also makes BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn's clothes.

BoomFuzzy is a master chef. Before marrying Quaraun (yes, they are married) he owned a gourmet restaurant and a candy shop. Now that he is traveling with Quaraun, he owns a food truck.

None of these things I thought of as odd, because these are normal everyday ways of life and things we Gypsies do.

We Gypsies do not live in houses. We Gypsies sleep in tents. We Gypsies weave our own clothes and make our own clothes. We Gypsies grow and make our own food. We Gypsies do not have electricity, running water, toilets, phones, tvs, or other such exhortative opulent luxuries that Americans perceive as necessities. We Gypsies often travel 30, 40, 50 or more miles per day on foot. None of this is odd, unusual, or strange, nor is it niche or fetish, it is simply the common, normal, ordinary way of life.

I find it odd, bizarre, and weird that American readers think of these things as some sort of niche topic. Americans are very strange.

And yes, that does mean Quaraun, BoomFuzzy, and GhoulSpawn are Gypsies.

I am a Scottish Gypsy, Scottish Gaelic is my native language, and this site is written in Scottish English. I never went to school because my people do not believe in it. I was raised in a Vardo, and spent my childhood, teen years, and young adult years living under tarps, and under lean tos made of bark and pine branches and a 1964 Dodge 330.

We grew all our own food and made all our own clothes. I did not have contact with Americans and their society until I was 31 years old. I was 31 years old the first time I found out about store and buying food and clothes, things I did not know was possible. I started college at age 37 and was the first female of of people to get an education. I am also one of fewer than a dozen members of our clan (which has over 4k people) to learn to read and write. I can not do maths, I do not know how to count or tell time or use money.

I have never lived in a house, nor had electricity, toilets, or running water. Most Americans call me a "feral child" due to my 3rd world upbringing and lifestyle.

I'm sorry, but if you send me slang or memes that reference American TV or pop culture, I am not going to know what you are talking about as I've never been a part of those things.

I discovered the existence of electricity and the internet in 1996, when I also discovered libraries. From 1996 until 2016, this website was entirely written on public access computers from various libraries throughout Maine.

November 14, 2013, while I was 8 months pregnant with my son Xavier-Octavian, I was attacked by 2 women with golf clubs, at The BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College, in South Portland Maine. They murdered my son, and severed my spine. I am now crippled and can not walk, and there is an FBI investigation trying to locate the 2 women who did this. I am legally blind, I was born that way, so I can not identify these women. They were Americans by the way they spoke, but I have no clue who they are.

Due to my bedridden state, I was no longer able to live outside, and in 2017, moved into an apartment nearby my farm. From 2017 to 2024, due to now having a computer, internet, and electricity, things I never had before 2017, I am now able to update this website near daily. I am still learning about Americans and their bizarrely strange culture, so, do not expect me to understand your "jokes" and slang and memes or you strange political rants, because I have no point of reference by which to understand them.

I learned to read and write in 1978, and immediately took up writing short stories about Elves and Unicorns. The first Quaraun story was published by a tiny print magazine September 23, 1978. Now today in 2024, there are 138 novels, 423 novellas, and more than 2k short stories published for the series. Most were written in Scottish and do not have English translations, and most appeared in small press print magazines that have only 6 month shelf lives before going out of print. The bulk of the series was published between 1987 and 1996. Most title sold fewer than one thousand copies, due largely to language barriers of the series not being accessible to English speakers.

Two of the English editions sold over a million copies each.

This website, was created for me to have a place to talk about how create my characters, I build their world, how I write their stories, and how I get those stories published. If you no interest in those things, there probably will not be much for you here. However, in 2017, the site crossed ten thousand pages, so there is a lot here, but it's mostly stuff about Elves, Unicorns, writing Elves and Unicorns, and a lot of lore and character backstories for my own series.

>Did you happen to hit a hot trope right in time or are you writing tropes that readers are burnt out on?

No clue.

I like it. That's why I write it.

If readers like it too, GREAT! If not, oh well, at least I had fun writing it.

>Where are you publishing?

Amazon, GumRoad, and free to read online on personal author website. Formerly was heavily using Lulu, Smashwords, DriveThruRPG, RoyalRoad, ScribbleHub, and Tapas, but it's hard to keep up with so many accounts so I am slowly phasing out everything but Amazon, GumRoad, and my own website. Not closing the other accounts or removing stuff already there, but also not adding new titles to those places anymore just because I'm getting old and my health is not good anymore, so it's just difficult to keep up with publishing to so many places.

The choice of distribution platforms, such as Amazon Kindle or other e-book marketplaces, can impact the accessibility of self-published works and subsequent earnings, so make sure you put your books in places where readers of your genre are most likely to find them.

>Are you doing KU?

No. However, both the two books that sold a million copies were in KU at the time they did so, but also that was 2014 and 2016, and each time I took out a $2k 24hour BookBub ad in Gay Romance category, while setting the book to free for 3 days followed by .99c for 4 days.

The book from 2014 was a Monster Porn novel of 157k words.

The book from 2016 was a Monster Porn novel of 175k words and was part 2 of the 2014 book.

Neither original edition is on Amazon today as the Knotting Fetish (not ropes, the other kind - penises that knot when aroused) and Golden Showers Fetish are both now banned tropes on Amazon, though both books were republished with the knotting and golden scenes removed, meanwhile the original editions with knotting and golden shower orgies uncut are now available free to read on my website.

In spite of these two books selling a million copies each, during their BookBub promos, because of BookBub requiring the books to be set to free during their ad program, I earned only $12k from that those infamous multiple millions of books. And that was eye opening.

Earning only $12k from a million copies, is what opened my eyes to the horror of pricing a book at .99c and being exclusive to Amazon KU.

And while yes, without KU and it's free deals and .99c days, I probably never would have sold a million copies of any book, at the same time, by leaving KU, going wide, pricing $2.99 for short stories, $4.99 for novellas, and $7.99 for novels in ebook editions, I earn far more money on far fewer sales.

Additionally, I started writing this series in the 1970s. The first volume was published in 1978. The BULK of the short stories were published in various print magazine between 1978 and 1996.

I started publishing them on my blog in 1996.

Also in 1996, I started publishing them on FanFiction dot net where is where I gained the BULK of my readers. It was "The Bride of Sesshomaru" series on FanFiction dot net, where I wrote it as InuYasha fanfiction because FanFiction dot net does not allow OC not fanfiction works. Unfortunately, it was amount the 120k series lost during FanFiction dot nets 2012 server crash.

Lost to the internet, but not lost completely, because I had backups of everything. This is why The Night of The Screaming Unicorn was put on Amazon in 2014. It originally was on Fanfiction dot net, as was BoomFuzzy (the novel).

Those two goting from FanFiction dot net to Amazon ALSO contributed to why those two in particular sold so many copies, so fast, the first days of their Amazon release. They each already had a following on FanFiction dot net.

Like I said, there was a lot of luck and being in the right place at the right time, and having a long standing following, involved in why those two books reached a million copies sold.

I don't think I could repeat what I did, again.

It was a fluke that those two books got the sales they did. A fluke caused by just a hole bunch of random things lining up to happen at exactly the right time.

I mean there are 138 novels, 423 novellas, and 2k+ short stories in this series, and if what I did with those two was repeatable, I would have had a million sales with EACH volume, not just 2 volumes only.

MOST of the short stories have never even reached a thousand copies sold. 

MOST of the novellas and novels if they did cross a thousand copies sold have never passed 27k copies sold.

If you look at the big picture and all titles, it's actually not that many sales at all. 

>Is this a genre that does well in KU?

No clue.

I am legally blind so I can not read ebooks, and so I do not keep up on any ebook trends.

>What price point are you selling your book at? Paperback? E-book?

Ebooks: $2.99 for short stories under 20k words, $4.99 for novellas 20k to 65k words, and $7.99 for novels 75k to 175k words.

Paperbacks and hardcovers vary depending on base printing costs. Typically I set the sliders to $2 over base price, then adjust it up to the nearest .99c. So if the base printing cost is $16.48 I had $2 to get $18.48, then round it up to $18.99

Pricing strategies, including promotional discounts and bundling, can influence reader engagement and ultimately contribute to self-published author earnings.

>Do you have an audiobook?

No. But it's a thing I plan to do via Spotify podcasts. I'm currently looking into how to start an author reading their own books type podcast.

>How much do you spend on ads? Where? Are you reaching the right audience?

Those two previously mentioned BookBub ads are the only ads I've ever bought. So, since 2010, I've spent $4k on ads. $2k each on 2 ads that ran for 24 hours each. One in 2014 and one in 2016.

>Do you have an attractive cover?

Yes.

The cover art on the two books that sold a million copies each, was professionally made art, by two outstanding artists.

One is an old school 1970s style Fantasy cover that is hand painted acrylic on canvas.

The other was created via DAZ digital art program, back in 2016 when digital art was still a major no-no for book covers, so at the time it REALLY stood out from other book covers, but by today's standards it's rather basic, as digital art software is much better today.

I went all out on those 2 covers because they were big epic length novels.

The digital art for BoomFuzzy was commissioned by me from the artist, so if you see the BoomFuzzy gingerbread house on ANY other book cover you know 100% it was scrapped off my book.

Interestingly, if you search Amazon, you will find that the BoomFuzzy cover art has been stolen, photoshopped, and slapped on to well over a hundred other titles by other authors, who try to trick their readers into thinking they are buying my book.

Also there is a series called 'BoomSlang' that is largely plagiarism on my Quaraun books, with the author, slightly changing character and place name, and making the main character female so the couple is straight not a gay couple.

And there is a 'RedNeck Wizard" series that also plagiarises the Quaraun series, moving the characters out of Maine and into the Mississippi, but, doesn't even bother to change the cover art. If you ever run across his books, compare his covers to mine, particularly 'SHEEP!, "Sheep Again!" and "Cheecka" (see below)

Did you find his books? Did you look at his covers?

Did you see what he did?

He put flower clip art over my name, and typed his name on top of it.

Yep.

That happened.

LOL!

As I said, I went all out on those 2 covers because they were big epic length novels.

However…

For my short stories and novellas, I go deep end artsy fartsy. That stylized 1960s literary chapbook printed on the kitchen counter type of cover art, that most people running screaming from and advise new authors not to touch with a nine foot pole.

Why?

Because they are literary fiction short stories and novellas, so why not make them LOOK like literary fiction chapbooks you'd expect to see starving poets busking out of the trunk of their cars?

So many people on this sub, have tracked down who I was, and found these books, and then contacted me in shock and horror over the “omg, it's so cheesy, deliberately bad over the top bad for the sake of deliberately being bad cover art, why would you do that?!?! I wouldn't get caught dead with that kind of cover art on my books, what is wrong with you?!?!?”

I do it because it matches the genre.

If you look at the cover and think: “omg, that cheesy cover belongs on one of those self published chapbooks from the 1970s!” then, I have achieved my goal. Because the story in between those covers is one of those cheesy stories you would expect to find in a 1970s chapbook.

And so while to cover art IS bad if you were to use it on a different genre, it also is in fact the type of cover art READERS EXPECT this genre to have.

You see, you need MORE than just a great cover. You also need a cover that matches industry standards and reader expectations for the specific genre in question.

In short, I write cheesy 1970s style porn so it gets cheesy 1970s cover art that is deliberately bad art on purpose.

Here's a few of those "OMG! I wouldn't get caught dead with that on my cover!" covers:

The thing about the covers being deliberately unprofessional quality, is that the stories inside are not professional quality either.

Think about it.

It would be false advertising to put professional quality covers on these stories, because then readers are going to set their expectations very high, and want to story to be just as professional level.

The Quaraun books are not professional level writing by any level. They are goofy, absurd stories about an insane Elf and his relationship with a Unicorn and a Sheep.

These are not the sort of stories you expect to read if you are buying professionally made paperbacks you buy at your local bookstore.

When readers see the covers of the Quaraun books, they know up front that they are going to get weird ass silly unprofessional stories, because the cover art sends out weird ass unprofessional signals.

I am a firm believer in the cover of a book, should match the story inside, and that's exactly what the Quaraun books do.

Book cover design and presentation significantly impact the visibility and sales potential of self-published works, affecting author income.

>Is your blurb hitting the right notes and attracting the right readers?

No clue.

I'm not good with blurbs. I think they could probably be better.

A few of the Quaraun books have big, long blurbs, but most it's just one sentence, under 15 words long.

I really don't put much thought or effort into my blurbs. I don't know why, either. I'm just not motivated to.

>How many books do you have out?

138 novels varying from 75k to 175k words each.

423 novellas varying from 20k to 65k words each.

Over two thousand short stories varying from 7k to 20k words each.

>Are they series? Standalones?

Each story is a stand alone.

However it is a series. The same main character appears in every book.

It's like Nancy Drew or The Simpsons, where it's the same main character every time, but each story is its own thing, and often the stories completely ignore events from each other. There is no chronological order. A reader can pick up any story to read first and then pick up any other story to read next.

>Are they all the same genre?

Yes and no.

The overarching series genre is Yaoi.

However the individual story genre can be anything. Romance. Western. Fantasy. SciFi. Time Travel. Slice of Life. Cosmic Horror. Dystopian. You name it, I've probably published at least one story in it already.

>How often do you release a new book?

About every ten days, since 2010.

>How many reviews do you have? How positive are they?

No clue how many.

I know the negative way outweighs the positive.

I have one 10k word short story that has 127 one star reviews and not a single 2/3/4/5 star review.

The 175k word novel that sold a million copies in 2016, had exactly 6 reviews. Yep. Six.

>What about on Goodreads?

No clue. I don't use Goodreads.

>What social media are you on?

Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Reddit are the only ones I'm active on. I have other accounts (Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, and about a dozen others, but I don't use them.)

>Is that where your readers are?

Pinterest, yes.

Everything else. Nope.

Building a loyal reader base through effective social media engagement and author platforms is crucial for sustained self-published book sales and increased earnings. I'm not good at this. If you are good at it, you stand a better chance of more book sales.

>What kind of following do you have?

Around 2k followers on Facebook, around 7k on Twitter, and around 1.2million followers on Pinterest.

Obviously Pinterest is the one I'm most active on. My pins get around 7million views and repins per month. But I also post hundreds of pins a day and have close to a thousand pinboards. None of them related to my books or writing, at all, either. I'm mega addicted to posting food porn pins.

>Have you hit it big on TikTok?

Nope. I think I have around 700 followers last I checked. But I only uploaded dog walking videos and my dog died last summer, so I've not used TikTok in about 8 months now. It was more his channel than mine.

Hopefully this helps someone.

Again, I find it funny no one is answering these, but I will. People are always asking what I write to get over a million sales.

>Can you write in a series that fits genre conventions?

Yes. I can. This is exactly what I do.

Understanding and adapting to trends in genres and reader preferences can guide self-published authors in creating content that resonates, impacting their financial success.

>Can you write well enough that you'll retain readers from book to book?

Apparently.

>Can you publish 4+ books a year without burning out?

Uhm. It's 4+ books a month. I publish a new novella about every ten days. End up with around 40 new titles per year. Been doing it since 2010.

Timely release schedules and consistent publishing efforts help self-published authors maintain reader interest and boost earnings over time.

>Can you afford on-market covers?

Yes.

>Editing if your genre requires it?

Wait. What? Is there a genre that doesn't require editing???

Sure, I see people uploading unedited chapters all the time, but that doesn't mean their genre shouldn't be edited. It just means they are lazy or idiots or both and don't give a shit about their readers.

Quality content  contributes to the long-term success of self-published authors, affecting their reputation and, consequently, their earnings.

No author in their right mind is going to publish without editing, no matter what genre they write.

>Can you write a blurb that has a high conversion?

No. I need help with blurbs.

>Can you pick titles that fit your genre?

Oh yes. Weirdly I am very good at coming up with titles, and make lots of lists of titles that I will never use, because I don't have time to write them all.

In most cases all I have is a title, when I start writing. No clue what the story is going to be. But here's the title, let's mad dash write a story to fit that title.

>Do you know how to advertise your book (or can you guarantee that you'll go viral on TikTok somehow)?

Clearly I am good at that, but also I'm not sure I could repeat today, what I did in 2014 and 2016. BookBub was brand new back then, and also it was a Blogger dot com blog. BookBub has its own professional website today, and wait lists that you have to wait months just to be considered.

In 2014 they were 2 book bloggers on a Blogger dot com blog, and you paid money for them to post a review of your book on their Blogger blog. You could land in their comments, say “I want to be featured in your post next Tuesday. “ and they'd reply back “Sure”. BookBub ain't like that today. Today it is an e-commerce site, where you bid for an ad slot in their newsletter and hope the wait list is under 3 years from the time you signed up.

In 2014 BookBub did not have a Gay Romance category. I wrote and requested it. They added it for my book. So I had literally the ONLY Gay Romance book listed on BookBub from 2014 to 2016. That's not the case today. There are thousands of Gay Romance books in the wait list now. But in 2014, there was just ONE, mine.

My book being the ONLY Gay Romance book on both BookBub AND Amazon in 2014, is WHY it got a million sales in under a week.

It was literally the ONLY Gay Romance book on the ENTIRE Amazon website.

People look at the million copies sold, and they forgot that in 2014, there was not one single solitary publishing house who would touch a book with a gay main character. I had no competition. If someone wanted to read Gay Romance, they HAD to buy my book because there was NO OTHER OPTION.

Today there are hundreds of Gay Romance books published every day in both traditional and self publishing.

What I did in 2014, I don't think I could repeat that today.

It was a case of me just being in the right place at the right time.

>Do you have enough money in the bank that you can afford to bank roll all of the above?

Yeah, THIS right here is the big thing people overlook.

I'm not writing because I NEED the money.

My husband has a big enough income that I don't NEED to work, and his income pays for things like editing and cover art, because he has enough money that paying for those things is “pocket change” to him.

I spend 40+ hours a week writing, for a return that is not even half of minimum wage.

I sell big numbers, because I have lots of titles, but I have lots of titles because I do not NEED to work, so I have lots of time to write lots of titles.

If you NEED the money, then you NEED to get a day job, because writing is not enough pay for the average person to live on.

The only way for you to have enough time to write enough books, to get enough sales, to make enough money to live off of, is if you do NOT need to work and can live off money you already have.

That really is the harsh reality to my success. I have enough money already to not need to work, so I can write 12+ hours a day without worrying if it'll make money or not.

Hopefully this info helps someone out.

Some things to consider:

$2.99 @ 70% = around $2 earned per book sold. 2,000/2 = 1k books have to be sold each month to earn $2k.

Tracking and analyzing sales data across different platforms is essential for authors to gain insights into their earnings and make informed marketing decisions.

Keep in mind that that is the 70% royalty BEFORE Amazon deducts taxes, VAT, delivery fees, etc. Most authors can expects anything from .72c to $1.63 to be the ACTUAL amount they receive, not the $2.09 that is what 70% of $2.99 should be.

Meaning that in order to earn $2k, you actually have to sell closer 2,778 books per month.

Author earnings from book sales are influenced by factors such as book format, with e-books often providing higher profit margins compared to print editions.

The average traditionally published paperback book will never reach 5k copies sold in it's lifetime.

Meanwhile the average self-published ebook book will never reach five hundred copies sold in its lifetime.

Amazon themselves issued a public statement saying that there are more than TWENTY MILLION KDP authors whom have yet to reach earning their first one hundred dollars.

Amazon also stated that only THREE authors have ever earned a million dollars.

And Amazon also stated that since 2007, FEWER THAN ONE THOUSAND AUTHORS have ever been paid one hundred thousand dollars IN TOTAL. Yeah. Brings to question all those Erotica authors who brag of $120k a year to $120k a month doesn't it?

Amazon also stated that fewer than 7% of KDP authors have ever earned more than $1k TOTAL.

7% of 30million is: out of THIRTY MILLION KDP authors only TWO MILLION authors have ever reached earning ONE THOUSAND dollars or more TOTAL IN THEIR LIFETIME from Amazon.

To answer your question, yes, some do reach $2k a month, but according to Amazon themselves, fewer than ONE THOUSAND authors have ever done it.

So many people come to this sub, after watching YouTube videos bragging of making millions from Amazon books, but the harsh reality is, ain't a one of those YouTubers making money from their books, which is WHY they are making YouTube videos instead of writing more books. They realized fast there was no money to be made from Amazon, so they decided to make money off YouTube instead by scamming others into thinking there was money to be made on Amazon.

Yes, there are people who live off their writing. I do. But I also publish a new book every 10 days, and the money stops coming in IMMEDIATELY the first week I miss uploading a book.

You can't make $2k a month with only 4 books. Those of us who do it, we have MASSIVE backlogs of HUNDREDS of books. I make $2k a month, so I know you can do it, but I also have 138 novels (75k to 175k words each), 423 novellas (20k to 65k words each), and more than 2k short stories (7k to 18k words each), published since 2010. And I did not start to see the $2k a month income until 2016, after I had well over TWO HUNDRED titles published.

What you are proposing, the income you are after, is HIGHLY IMPROBABLE with only 4 books.

Effectively leveraging data analytics and sales metrics allows self-published authors to make informed decisions, optimizing their strategies and maximizing earnings potential.

And yes, I DID tell you how I sold a million copies, but guess what?

I would NOT tell you how I did it, IF, I thought there was a way you could do it.

People who succeed, do NOT share trade secrets that can be CURRENTLY used for success.

If a successful person is sharing trade secrets, it's because they KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT that there is no way you can repeat their success with the information they are giving you. Meaning the info is outdated, obsolete, USELESS to you. 

You really need to exercise caution when evaluating claims about financial success, especially when those people are going to great lengths to emphasize their earnings. Places like r/eroticaauthors and 20booksto50k are circle jerk hive bubbles of authors each trying to out boast each other.

And the problem is they end up convincing impressionable young new writers, that they can become overnight millionaires. Worse is that the bulk of the new writers who fall for this scam are often teens with no experience in the world and know understanding of scam artist tactics.

Real, actual, genuine success in any business speaks for itself, and those who have truly achieved it do not spend an exorbitant amount of time boasting about their financial gains.

Exceptionally successful people do not run around actively promoting their wealth unless their business model revolves around selling the image of success. Meaning, they need you to think something, in order to convince you to buy something. Aka they are a scam artist, trying to pull a scam on you.

The scam goes like this: they tell you how much money they made, complete with a link to their course, video, how to guide, etc. They hype up how much money they made, and swear you can make that amount too. They convince you to buy whatever they are selling, so you can learn to be a millionaire like them.

Newsflash: If they were ACTUALLY making money, they would continue doing the thing that is making them money.

So ask yourself, WHY did they QUIT doing the thing that supposedly made them a millionaire? Why are they NOW making YouTube videos and courses instead?

The answer is simple. They are making money off the YouTube videos and courses, and NOT by doing the things they are “teaching” in those videos and courses.

Think about it. They QUIT writing books on Amazon KDP, because they could not make money on books. They discovered they could make MORE money by scamming YOU into thinking you could make money with books on Amazon KDP. They know you desperately want to make money from your Amazon KDP books, so they have to convince you that they made money on their books.

But did you ever notice they ALWAYS hide what books they supposedly published?

They ALWAYS say they can not tell you their pen names.

They ALWAYS say they can not tell you their genre or niche.

They have NEVER published on Amazon and it can be proven by the fact that they have no clue what Amazon royalties ACTUALLY look like.

They never know about things like the file size delivery fees Amazon charges and deducts from your royalties.

They never tell you about the federal taxes, state taxes, distribution fees, VAT fees, that Amazon deducts from your royalties.

They tell you that for every $2.99 book sold you earn $2.09. No. You don't. After taxes, VATs, delivery fees, etc, the average $2.99 book with a 70% royalty is between .62c and $1.20.

.62c is a LOT less then $2.09, but these scammers are so clueless about how Amazon royalties work, because they NEVER published a book on Amazon at all, that they know absolutely nothing about the dozen plus fees Amazon deducts from your royalties before Amazon pays you.

When encountering bios, social media posts, advertisements, or any self-promotion that excessively highlights monetary achievements, such as 'I turned ____ into ____ in 10 months!' or 'I've made $20 Gazillion Dollars on ____!', it is crucial to approach such narratives with a discerning eye.

Affluent people do not flaunt their wealth to the general public! Real authors, do not run around saying “I made $120k on Amazon this month!”.

People actually at the top, do not brag about their income, especially not in a manner that creates unnecessary competition.

Successful entrepreneurs focus on cultivating their businesses rather than diverting attention to selling coaching packages or courses on their perceived secrets to success.

Notice how I do not hide my pen name?

Notice how I do not hide what books I have published?

Notice how I do not make courses or videos and am not trying to sell you anything?

Notice how I'm giving you the ACTUAL dollar amounts, and their dismal bottom feeding, gutter scum bucket realities of how far BELOW a million dollars, the income from a million books sold REALLY is?

I have nothing to hide, because I also have nothing to sell you.

I know you can not repeat my method to sell a million copies of your book. I am fully aware that I myself could not repeat it. It was a fluke of being in the right place at the right time and that is simply not repeatable.

If I thought I could repeat my steps to sell million copies of every book I write, I would NOT tell you the steps I took to reach a million copies sold. Why? Because I'd be too busy repeating those steps and selling millions more books.

I don't mind telling you what I did, because I know you can not repeat it.

I don't mind telling you my pen name because it allows you to see exactly how low ranked my books really are, what my cover art really is, what my titles really are, what my blurbs really are. You can see what I ACTUALLY do. And you can see it ain't great.

I don't mind telling you my genre and niches because, I know you LITERALLY CAN NOT publish it on Amazon anymore. Yeah. A large part of why I can not repeat the million copies again, is because Amazon BANNED the niche and its not even allowed on Amazon anymore, so I am fully 100% certain you CAN NOT repeat what I did.

You see?

I have nothing to lose from telling you how I sold a million copies of my book, because the method is outdated and no longer works today.

What worked in 2014, DOES NOT work in 2024. So the information is utterly useless. Useless to me. Useless to you.

I don't mind sharing my “secrets” to selling a million copies because I KNOW this particular method CAN NOT BE REPEATED and therefore there is no threat of competition.

By telling you how I did it, I am NOT creating competition for myself.

Simply put, the method I used to sell a million copies is obsolete, outdated, and can not be done in today's market. Not even I can do it again, so I don’t mind telling you how I did it.

But a method that works today? Something I can do now? Nope. I would NOT tell you that. No writer would.

The ONLY people trying to teach you how to be a millionaire, are scam artists trying to become millionaires off selling you courses on how to become a millionaire.

Have you ever noticed how every time you come across content, such as videos claiming remarkable financial achievements, it ALWAYS is only a lead to a course promotion? They NEVER actually tell you anything for free.

It is very important to question the authenticity of such claims and the intentions behind them. They are promoting a narrative that lacks substance and has no REAL published books or pen names behind them to support their claims.

The internet is saturated with purported success stories, that are nothing more then bold-faced lies created to convince you to waste money buying a course that will never give you any useful information. You must learn to exercise discernment and look beyond flashy presentations. Look for a motive. If their motive is to sell you a course, then they are not sincere.

Genuine success doesn't need grandiose promotions. And real millionaires hold on to their trade secrets. Success is reflected in sustained dedication, thoughtful business strategies, and tangible accomplishments. And those at the top, are NOT motivated to bring you to the top with them, because you are competition, which means less money for them.

Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

NO ONE is making millions selling books on Amazon, not even those of us whom have actually sold over a million copies of our books!

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun and BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (horse form)

Yes, Quaraun is a man.

No, Quaraun is not transgender.

Yes, Quaraun is wearing a dress.

No, Quaraun is not trying to be a woman, he just really hates wearing pants.

No, Quaraun is not gay. Quaraun is a bisexual polygamist. In addition to his two husbands, Quaraun has 37 wives, dozens of concubines, over 100 children, and is often in the company of prostitutes.

Quaraun is also an Elf. Elves should not be expected to dress or act like Humans, because, oh look, they ain't Human.

Also, in case you forgot: Quaraun is LITERALLY A JELLYFISH, that has taken an Elf form in order to "fit in". So, he's not actually an Elf. His hair is thousands of thin jellyfish tentacles. And he's a female JellyFish that is living as a male Elf, thus why there are M-Preg stories in the series, where, yep, Quaraun is pregnant.

But, yes, Quaraun is a JellyFish. Did you forget that is why there is a JellyFish painted on my car?

The Sacred Pink JellyFish (Quaraun's true form) painted on the hood of my car.

BoomFuzzy and Quaraun on the side of my car.

Also, I was 3 years old (yes THREE) when I designed Quaraun, and had no concept of cloths having gender. When I created him, I was a toddler who wanted to put pink Barbie dresses on an Elf. Only this and nothing more. There was no politics or agenda in his creation, and you're an ass for thinking there was.

Yes, I have received all of your bitchy hate messages on FaceBook, telling me how utterly horrified and offended you are by the existence of gay men and men who wear dresses. Here's a thought: go fuck yourself!

Your gay-hating bigotry is not welcomed here. And your fucking politics are not welcomed here either.

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun and BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (humanoid form)

Yes, BoomFuzzy is Black.

No, BoomFuzzy is not African.

BoomFuzzy's father is from the Sepik River Valley of Papua New Guinea. BoomFuzzy's mother is Mongolian (Chinese).

BoomFuzzy identifies as Scottish, as he was born and raised on the Shetland Isles of Scotland.

BoomFuzzy is also a Unicorn. Yes. He's a horse, who shapeshifts into a Humanoid form.

Yes, he retains his horsetail in Humanoid form. It's FURRY Yaoi, remember? All three of them are anthropomorphic humanoid animals.

Yes, I have received all of your bitchy hate messages on FaceBook, telling me how utterly horrified and offended you are by the existence of Black men and men who are not white. Guess what? Did you know I am not white?

My grandfather David Henry Atwater, my mother's father, was a Romani Gypsy - he was not white. His first wife, my grandmother Eva Viola Atwater: her mother was a full blooded Kickapoo Native American and her father was a full blooded Black man from Haiti.

My mother's mother was so incredibly not white. My father's mother Helen Ricker Allen was a Scottish Gypsy, half Persian Mountain Jew and Half Mongolian.

My father's grandfather George Ricker was also Scottish Gypsy, but one third Persian Mountain Jew, one third Mongolian, and one third Chimbu Tribesman from the Sepik River Valley of Papua New Guinea. There's not one drop of white blood in me.

And I'm part Black, part Native American, part Persian, and part Mongolian. BoomFuzzy was based off of my great-great grandfather, who was a Black man from Papua New Guinea.

As for why BoomFuzzy is a Unicorn, my grandmother gave me a black Shetland Pony for my 4th birthday.

Like Quaraun, I created BoomFuzzy when I was three years old, and I changed him to being a Unicorn when I was four, and there was no politics or agenda in his creation, and you're an ass for thinking there was. So here's a thought: go fuck yourself!

Your minority-hating bigotry is not welcomed here. And your fucking politics are not welcomed here either.

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun and GhoulSpawn the Sheep (humanoid form)

Yes, GhoulSpawn actually is a Sheep. That is why he has cloven hooves, 15" golden fleece, and 3 pairs of rams horns.

The Quaraun books are set in the 40th century far future of Maine, after a comet hit the moon, started a new ice age, and caused animals to mutate into Humanoids.

GhoulSpawn is a Cotswold Ram that has mutated into a Humanoid.

Yes,

EelKat =

eels + cats

Miss Citten The Eel~Kat is a Fairy Cat From Planet Ptarmagin who travels the galaxy collecting rare space eels. That fact alone should make it easy to figure out how to say "EelKat", but also, why the fuck are you calling ME EelKat? My name is Wendy Christine Allen.

EelKat is the black bobkat and Spriggan is the flying white cat whom Quaraun is alway telling people he sees following him, but whom always run away so no one but Quaraun ever sees them, leading people to call Quaraun "Insane". EelKat and Spriggan are the narrators of the books.

The books were published with the author name "By Wendy C Allen as told by EelKat" and in the 1990s and early 2000s she was the most popular character with fans, thus why the website used her name (eelkat.com) because she was also the most Googled for character of the franchise.

For some reason in recent years, people have taken not only to calling ME "EelKat" but also to using the retarded pronunciation of "el'Kit", because they are too retarded to know how to pronounce the word EEL, which is a type of fish.

But also, people who can't tell the difference between the author and their characters are weird, and probably need psychiatric help, and should #1: not be so retarded of a stalker that they show up in my driveway to harass my family with their gay hatred and #2: go get psychiatric help.

Empress EelKat, Queen of Planet Ptarmagin aka Miss Citten The Eel~Kat. She lives in Space Dock 13, the lighthouse that is also known as Black Tower.

Spriggan, EelKat's second in command.

Quaraun and Lich King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (horse form)

BoomFuzz the Unicorn - humanoid form

The Pink Necromancer, and BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (bubblegum horse form)

Quaraun and Gingerbread Cake Chef King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (humanoid form)... scene from the novel BoomFuzzy, from when BoomFuzzy was still alive and not yet a Lich and Quaraun was not yet a Necromancer, not yet wearing pink, not yet a serial killer, and had not yet gone insane, at Santa Claus's Gingerbread Cake Bakery in Ivujivik, Quebec, where BoomFuzzy was the master pastry chef.

A Look at How Much Money A Million Books Sold Is Equal To - How Much Money Do Self-Published Authors Make

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun and GhoulSpawn the Sheep (humanoid form)

The Pink Necromancer, and BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (milk chocolate horse form)

More Websites You Might Enjoy:

• Key Takeaways from the Authors Guild’s 2023 Author Income Survey

https://authorsguild.org/news/key-takeaways-from-2023-author-income-survey/

-

Does Writing Pay?: The Average Author Salary in 2023 - SelfPublishing.comhttps://selfpublishing.com/author-salary/

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• How Much Do Authors Make? The Truth About Money in Publishing - Reedsy

https://blog.reedsy.com/how-much-do-authors-make/

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• How Much Do Authors Make? 5 Author Earnings Reports + Facts

https://self-publishingschool.com/how-much-do-authors-make/

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• Writing Books Remains a Tough Way to Make a Living - Publishers Weekly

https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/publisher-news/article/93301-author-incomes-post-small-gains.html

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• Six Takeaways from the Authors Guild 2018 Author Income Survey

https://authorsguild.org/news/six-takeaways-from-the-authors-guild-2018-authors-income-survey/

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• Insights from the 2023 U.S. Author Income Survey

https://publishdrive.com/the-2023-us-author-income-survey.html

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• Author Income: How to Make a Living from Your Writing

https://www.writtenwordmedia.com/author-income-how-to-make-a-living-from-your-writing/

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• How Much Does A Professional Author Make? Book Writers Incomes Demystified

https://penguinbookwriters.com/blog/how-much-does-professional-authors-make

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• Does Writing Pay?: The Average Author Salary in 2023 - SelfPublishing.com

https://selfpublishing.com/author-salary/

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• How Much Do Authors Make? The Truth About Money in Publishing - Reedsy

https://blog.reedsy.com/how-much-do-authors-make/

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• How Much Do Authors Make? Plus How To Increase Earnings

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/pay-salary/how-much-do-authors-make

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• How Much Money Do Authors Make in 2023 - Income & Factors - Mczell

https://mczellbookwriting.com/blog/how-much-money-authors-make/

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• How Much Do Authors Make Per Book? | Book Riot

https://bookriot.com/how-much-do-authors-make-per-book/

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• How Much Money Do Authors Make per Book in 2022 - Amazon Publishing Library

https://amazonpublishinglibrary.com/blog/how-much-do-authors-make-per-book/index.html

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• How Much Does A Professional Author Make? Book Writers Incomes Demystified

https://penguinbookwriters.com/blog/how-much-does-professional-authors-make

-

• How Much Do Authors Make? An Author’s Guide to Making a Living ...

https://theselfpublisher.com/how-much-do-authors-make/

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This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine. All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © [oldest articles written 1978],[website founded - 1996] –

Also: just so you know: You can go to prison for trying to develop land with over 500 Native American graves on it, you know that, right?

The land at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine has Native American graves, some dating all the way back to the 1500s on it.

And they are all my relatives. And one of them is my son who was murdered November 14, 2013. Don't think I won't think twice about taking you down if you dare touch any of those graves.

Remember too: I own that land, and you have no right, nor permission to set foot on it. I don't care WHO told you you could. They do not own 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine. I do.

146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine is owned by me, Wendy Christine Allen and anyone who says otherwise is lying to you and trying to scam you.

Stay the fuck away from my son's grave.

I hate trespassers.

Stay the fuck off my land.

You have no right to be anywhere near my land.

And if anyone named Jeannie or Ken or Atwater, tells you you can go near my land, call the fucking police, because they are scam artists who run a real estate flipping scam. They sell land they DO NOT OWN to developers. They've been doing it for decades. The police and FBI know about it and are looking for them.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322, same FBI agent who is heading my son's murder investigation, call him, if one of these bastards tells you, you can go on my land, because they have no right to tell you that.

I am Wendy Christine Allen and I own 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine. I have owned it since 1983. It has been in my family since 1533. It's my family's cemetery. And it is not for sale.

They keep pretending to own my land and trying to sell it to developers. They try to pull this scam every year. They show up almost every spring. They have been doing it since the 1930s. Five generations of scammers are involved in this very large group, of around 400 "Atwaters".

They are suspected of being involved in my son's murder, as the FBI believes my son was murdered as an attempt to intimidate me into selling my land. They tried to illegally sell 146 Portland Ave several times throughout the 1940s to 1970s while my grandmother Helen Ricker Allen owned it. They call themselves "The Royal Highland Atwater Clan of Scotland" but are from Nova Scotia, and they arrive here in Old Orchard Beach, Maine every summer. Each year they ILLEGALLY sell DOZENS of properties in Old Orchard Beach, that THEY DO NOT OWN.

They primarily target places owned by residents of Quebec, Massachusetts, and Florida, but they also target properties like my own, which "appear" to be empty. My land looks "empty" because it' a cemetery with very few markers, so they assume they can swoop in and sell it to a developer, and every year construction crews show up, start digging, and run out terrified after they get a few dozer scopes full of HUMAN BONES. Then they boo-hoo that they were giving demolition permits signed by various names, none of them actual owners.

In 2013, a few weeks before my son was murdered, they hired a backhoe to drive over my house.

My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach Maine. July 4, 2013 vs August 8, 2013.

These scam artists are a major problem here in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. And ooh look, its February 14, 2024 and they showed up in my yard this morning.

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine is also one of the ILLEGAL filming locations of Stephen King's The Thinner movie, and there is also evidence that my son's murder, and these scammers targeting my land, may have been involved in the SCAM that lead Stephen King to ILLEGALLY film Thinner on my land.

A Look at How Much Money A Million Books Sold Is Equal To
or
How Much Money Do Self-Published Authors Make?
aka
Breaking Down the Numbers: Million Book Sales Income Analysis
Understanding the Metrics of Author Earnings in Self-Publishing

What Is This Site?

I'm an author. This is an author home page. It's about me, my life, my books, my hobbies, my home town, and anything else that applies to me and my life. 

Since starting my writing career in 1978, I have written 130+ novels, 2,000+ short stories, 6,000+ non-fiction articles (ALL are found on this site), a few dozen stage plays, 12,000+ blog posts, and a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck (I only worked for Disney one year (in 2005) and only wrote a few stories for their Danish comic books).

NOTE: I ONLY write the Quaraun series (aka The Twighlight Manor series aka The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane). In recent years there has been an issue with impersonators trying to pass books off as written by me, notably several non-fiction and Erotica books. I write neither nonfiction nor Erotica.

ALL of my books and their cover arts are listed on my website here. Beware of any books you find claiming to be me. If the books are NOT listed here on my website, they are NOT my books.

In fiction works, I specialize in Weird/Bizarro Tales set in 40th century CyberPunk-Quasi Medieval, Cozy Dark Fantasy and Science Fiction worlds featuring an intersex Elf and his Faerie husband main characters.  I DO NOT WRITE ANY OTHER SERIES - THIS SERIES IS THE ONLY ONE I WRITE.

Non-fiction (found ONLY here on my site) is daily updates of events in my life, and how-tos on how I write my novels.

I DO NOT write Erotica.

I DO NOT write books with HUMAN characters.

The Erotica books and books with Human characters, that you are finding, are written by scammers trying to impersonate me.

There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter. If you find any such books, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

The FBI believes the people behind the impersonation accounts showing up, are relatives of the woman who murdered my son.

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.

And I'm sick of real estate agents who are too incompetent to research land ownership before they show up to stick a for sale sign in my yard.

The fact of the matter is, my son was murdered in 2013, and the friends and family of the murderer think it is funny to keep ILLEGALLY listing my land for sale, because apparently their child murdering bitch friend didn't hurt me enough by crippling me with a golf club, ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and beating his brains out on the ground with a golf club.

Also, her friends and family like to gaslight me by doxing me on ufo and alien abduction forums, while pretending to be me, and trying to make it look like I believe in ufos or aliens, even though I think people who believe in ufos are raving lunatics and people who claim to be alien abductees are crazy. 

Worse, they've also taken to harassing my WW2 vet homeless friend, by calling HIM an alien, demon, or cryptid and sending alien crazy ufo nutjobs at try to "catch him".

So, yeah, my son was murdered and the murder's friends and family endlessly harass me, my friends, and my family both online and offline, and I'm not happy with it at all.

There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter.

The FBI is looking for information into:

1. identifying my son's murderer, 
2. identifying the scammers who listed my land for sale, 
3. identifying the impersonators who pretend to be me both online and offline, 
4. the harassers who are harassing the homeless man and sending the UFO nuts to harass him... 

• If ANYONE tells you 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine is for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you I believe in aliens, demons, or UFOS, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you my homeless friend is an alien, a demon, a cryptid, or named Etiole for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

I'm going to repeat it because I'm tired of people showing up and making offers:

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.

| Home | Index |

How did you build your audience?
Not online, that's for sure.
aka How to sell ten million books
aka How I sold ten million books.

The Park Bench Method of Writing

(just the article)

or

The Park Bench Method of Writing

(with the list of 10k writing prompts - takes a LONG TIME to load - SEVERAL MINUTES!)

Why I am not proud of Disability Pride Month.
In fact, I think it’s deplorable and downright offensive.

Writing Blind Characters

How To Accurately Write Disabled Characters in Fiction

I Think UFO and Alien Believers Are Weird Here's Why...

Does every writer have to deal with this shit?

Testing Out AI aka Conversations with ChatGPT-5:

The Rapture Is Coming, and Nephilim Are Returning On September 23, 2025? What? Let's Talk About That

Worldbuilding MoonQuakes, Thoughts on JellyFish,  and How To Accuratly Write  Disabled Characters for Fantasy Writers

My thoughts on the Rapture 2025 Rumours, that are on both Etiole's birthday and my 50 year anniversary: September 23rd:

• Judgement: An Ode To The Lunatics Preaching The Rapture of September'25

Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻

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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.

I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |

This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

All Rights Reserved.

The Park Bench Method of Writing 30 Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts - June 2025 - 30 Day Edition 30 Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts, Queer Throuples/Polycules Slice of Life Edition 30 "TRUE COZY" Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts 🫖 30 More Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts - June 2025 What's New (Newly Published or Recently Updated or Edited) A Cliffside Overlook Oct 13, 25 08:20 AM A Cliffside Overlook Read More Unease Oct 13, 25 02:43 AM a poem Read More Cold Beach, Warm Hearts Oct 13, 25 02:25 AM Cold Beach, Warm Hearts Read More The Potter’s Hands Oct 13, 25 12:43 AM The Potter’s Hands Read More UFO and Alien Believers Are Weird Oct 12, 25 03:13 PM I Think UFO and Alien Believers Are Weird Here's Why... Read More Index of Pink Necromancer Fiction on Space Dock 13 (EelKat.com) Oct 10, 25 10:58 PM Index of Pink Necromancer Fiction on Space Dock 13 (EelKat.com) Read More Quarreling Over the Last Slice of Pizza Oct 10, 25 04:26 AM Quarreling Over the Last Slice of Pizza Read More The Lighthouse Keeper Oct 10, 25 01:55 AM The Lighthouse Keeper Read More A rant about stupid editors not knowing how to diagram sentences Oct 09, 25 09:34 PM A rant about stupid editors not knowing how to diagram sentences Read More How To Accurately Write Disabled Characters in Fiction Oct 09, 25 01:27 AM How To Accurately Write Disabled Characters in Fiction Read More The Singing Crabgrass Crabs — A Green Fairy Wine Tale Oct 08, 25 03:02 AM The Singing Crabgrass Crabs — A Green Fairy Wine Tale Read More Yelling at the Snowstorm Oct 08, 25 01:44 AM Yelling at the Snowstorm Read More Chaos in The Lighthouse - Shattered Panes, Shattered Minds Oct 07, 25 02:57 PM Chaos in The Lighthouse - Shattered Panes, Shattered Minds, a Kishōtenketsu {A Pink Necromancer Kishōtenketsu} — {NaNoWriMo 2024: Day 26} Read More (updated Oct 6, 2025) Crazy Woman Just Attacked(August 14, 2025) Oct 06, 25 02:26 AM Crazy Woman Just Attacked - No Clue Why or Who She Is (August 14, 2025) Read More The Cliff-Side Temple Oct 05, 25 10:26 PM My version of The Horror Fantasy Cliff-side Mansion Full of Cthulhu Priests aka Here is My Result From The PortCon 2024 Worldbuilding Story Challenge Read More Does every writer have to deal with this shit? Oct 05, 25 09:18 PM Or do I just live in an area with a high rate of crazy people who think novelists are all writing about them? Read More A Flapdoodle Wizard’s Duel Oct 05, 25 01:59 AM Three bumbling wizards, bumbling more then usual Read More Excited For The New Baby Oct 05, 25 01:04 AM (TW: Dark Romance, Lover's Triangle, MPreg, & Domestic Abuse) Read More Control or Protection? Oct 04, 25 02:07 PM Quaraun and BoomFuzzy arguing, as usual Read More Self-Publishing Success: Does Anyone Ever Succeed at Self-Publishing? Oct 03, 25 11:21 PM Does Anyone Ever Succeed at Self-Publishing? Read More Writing Blind Characters Oct 01, 25 07:34 PM I am legally blind and I write a legally blind character, this is how I do it... Read More The Screaming Sea Oct 01, 25 02:10 AM The Screaming Sea Read More Candied Nightmares Oct 01, 25 01:11 AM Candied Nightmares Read More A Calm Coastal Cove of Aquamarine on A Sunny Afternoon Sep 30, 25 01:26 AM A Calm Coastal Cove of Aquamarine on A Sunny Afternoon Read More A Quiet Morning with the Sound of Waves, Wind, and an Abundance of Sep 29, 25 08:35 PM A Quiet Morning with the Sound of Waves, Wind, and an Abundance of Fresh-Caught Fish Read More That Big Bad Darkness in His Heart Sep 29, 25 03:44 AM {A Pink Necromancer Double Drabble Poem} 🦄🌸 Read More The Terror Bird Sep 29, 25 03:41 AM {A Pink Necromancer Story} — {NaNoWriMo 2024: Day 09} Read More You trust that nonsense over a map? Sep 29, 25 03:19 AM {A Pink Necromancer Story} — {NaNoWriMo 2024: Day 17} Read More You Never Know What Info You Might Pick Up in the Afterlife Sep 29, 25 12:48 AM {A Pink Necromancer Near Death Experience Kishōtenketsu} (NDE Fiction) Read More Eerie Symbols in the Snow 🌸🦄🌸 Sep 28, 25 01:09 AM {A Pink Necromancer Drabble } 🌸💖🦄 Read More An Eerie Discovery Sep 28, 25 01:08 AM 🌸{A Pink Necromancer Poem} 🦄🌸 Read More Echoes of the Unseen Sep 28, 25 12:51 AM -The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane💟🌸🦄| 100 Cozy Short Slice of Life Dark Fantasy Furry Bara Yaoi Stories Read More An Eclipse Looms Tonight Sep 28, 25 12:47 AM {A Pink Necromancer Triple Drabble In 3 Perspectives} — {NaNoWriMo 2024: Day 02} Read More Dangerous Tides Sep 28, 25 12:46 AM 🌸{A Pink Necromancer Drabble Dozen, featuring Etiole} 🦄🌸 Read More The Bumbling Pursuit of The Pink Necromancer Sep 27, 25 11:18 PM {A Pink Necromancer 7 Part Drabble Serial +some extra} ⛓️⛓️🔗 ⛓️🔗⛓️⛓️🦄🌸꧁✨🌸🔮⛓️⛓️🔗 ⛓️🔗⛓️⛓️🔮🌸✨꧂ Read More The Boat Fiasco Sep 27, 25 10:51 PM 🌸{A Pink Necromancer Triple-Triple Drabble} 🦄🌸 Read More Blizzard Sep 27, 25 10:15 PM 🌸{A Pink Necromancer Kishōtenketsu} 🦄🌸 Read More The Black Sock, Again Sep 27, 25 08:25 PM a short fiction story (a 4th story about the mysterious black sock)(Part 4 of a set of 4) Read More Making the Bed Sep 27, 25 08:23 PM (Part 3a? of a 4 Part set) Read More A Quiet, Relaxing Foot Rub 🌸🦄🌸 (Part 3 of a 4 Part set) Sep 27, 25 08:21 PM 🌸🦄🌸 (Part 3 of a 4 Part set) {A Pink Necromancer Short Story} 🌸🦄🌸 Read More The Park Bench Method of Writing Receiving death threats over a septic tank and a little brown log cabin, but I own neither a septic tank nor a little brown log cabin... what even are these thugs talking about? I am a mute/none verbal wheelchair user and I just had an encounter over my wheelchair, but being mute had no way to defend myself. Crazy Woman Just Attacked - No Clue Why or Who She Is (August 14, 2025) Articles For Writers on How To Write & Publish A Rapid Release  Series MAKE VILLAINS EVIL AGAIN: A WRITER’S BATTLE CRY TO RECLAIM THE DARK SIDE and Need Help Defeating Overpowered Fantasy Wizards? + Wizards and More Wizards and Even More Wizards and Still More wizards and Writing Blind Characters Plus Elves and Very High, High Elves  VS Unicorns and Phookas and Demons and also What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?) but Noses, Penis Piercings, And Rapunzel Hair Have you ever considered: How Things In Your Life Affect Your Writing or Currency In Worldbuilding and The Dangers of World Travel or  Dragging a Body Through The Snow and Talking While Falling Asleep or Worldbuilding MoonQuakes and Disabled Characters for Fantasy Writers or I have everything but the kitchen sink... wait, how'd that kitchen sink get in my pocket? Writing Absurdist Fantasy Books but How long does it take to reach 1667 words? and 50k in one day - is it possible? plus What is the average typing speed? plus What (self-publishing) platform pays the most (for books)? My top 3 picks. Comparing my results from different places. and Knowing what to include when describing the surroundings of a scene also Validation Is a Cult and Open Strong, Stay Loud and  Where are the writers who love writing? plus Self-Publishing Success: Does Anyone Ever Succeed at Self-Publishing? and Where To Get Writing Ideas? and Writing What You Know Might Not Be What You Think It Is and Why I do not attend writing groups...are they all like this or just the ones in Maine? but also Don't Forget To Just Write  because Yes, You Can! Plus The Park Bench Method of Writing (with 10k writing prompt list) or The Park Bench Method of Writing (just the article) plus: How did you build your audience? Not online, that's for sure. aka How to sell ten million books aka How I sold ten million books. Need Writing Prompts? For Anyone Looking for: The "haunted car" people call The GoldenEagle & my response to Stephen King's illegally filming my family and farm in his movies? My response to MUFON's Amphibious Aliens? My response to Coast to Coast AMs Arrival in my yard? Back to the Home Page

The Park Bench Method of Writing Not sure what the series is about?  Check out  The Quaraun Series Prologue and Faeries vs Elves (In The Quaraun Series) A Pink Necromancer World Lore Post and Worldbuilding MoonQuakes and Disabled Characters for Fantasy Writers and How well do I know Quaraun? - Let's find out! to find out more about the plot and lore of the series. Not sure which story to start with? These here are good places to start, to get a good introduction to the three main characters: Bone Dice BoomFuzzy's Chowder Dilemma The Cellar's Forgotten Treasure Chaos in The Lighthouse - Shattered Panes, Shattered Minds The Cliff-Side Temple Control or Protection? A Dark and Stormy Night Excited For The New Baby Five Ways To Save Money in Las Vegas The Golden Dragon Keys If your ass ain’t freezing or your brains ain’t scrambled, you’re ain’t really trying Kiss Me Fuckin' Arse - Just Another Day in the Ice-Laced Ruins of The GodForsaken City Lens and Light Maintenance Macaroni and Cheese: A Creamy Pasta Dish Drenched in Melted Cheese, Often Topped with Breadcrumbs- It's Never That Easy A Map Worth More Than Gold Necromancer of the Parched Sands in the Desert of Diona Necromancy-A Day in the Life of a Bumbling Necromancer-Again Nightmare Nook Paddlewheel Maintenance The Phooka's Dragon School The Red Hakama Springtime by the River Sticky Rice, Bare Fingers, and Slippery Chopsticks The Sweet and Sour of Lemons The Terror Bird 3 Perspectives on an Apple The Valuable Mystery of the Talking Saloon Door and How We Nearly Got Shot Over Stale Tacos Vendetta over Vittles A Very Important Clump of Grass Wagers and Wiles in the Godforsaken City The Washer Woman & The Fae Weather Forecasting Stones You Never Know What Info You Might Pick Up in the Afterlife aka Quaraun's Near Death Experience (A NDE Fiction) Or if after reading those, you still are looking for more free to read stories, there are over three thousand of them on this site, too many to list here, but here a few dozen to get you started... ...you can just jump in and try reading some of the free to read online stories first before committing to buying the books: Absinthe Slushies: An Ode to Frozen Green Fairy Wine Abyssal Addlepated: Stupid and Confused All the roads are gone Alone Ancient Coin Hoard Unearthed Angry Ocean Waves at Sunset The Arrival The Art of Destroying a Human Village for Fun and Profit At the High Priest's Altar Back At The Tavern and Still No Shrimp The Bandits and the Pink Necromancer The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death The Beacon Room at the Top of the Black Tower Lighthouse The Beauty of a Silk Moth Hatching The Beginning of the End Bellicose: Warlike! Aggressive! Hostile! Beneath a crimson sky, the silk weaver wove pink silk. Beneath Malevolent Stars The Black Sock, Again Blizzard The Boat Fiasco The Book Burning Maggots, a You Can't Spell Hatred Without Red Hats BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House from Hell The Brownies & The Witch, or Why Faeries Don’t Wear Socks The Bumbling Pursuit of The Pink Necromancer Candied Nightmares The Candle Con in Ember Hollow The Candy Corn Unicorn Captured By The Lich Lord The Cast Iron Frying Pan Cattail Pollen Spaghetti with Wild "Oregano" A Chilly Light Drizzle Becomes Snowfall on the Shore Chocolate Bliss Chocolate in the Neon Shadows Christmas in 40th Century Dystopia Christmas With The Krampus Family The City of Death Clam Digging in the Rain The Clock Ticks Away Clotheslines, Games, and the Village Code Ghosts Comet Fall Snow Day Blitz Conundrum in the Bazaar Corsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries Crabapples in the Rain Cranberry Muffins The Crooked Dice The Crows Are Restless Crullers and Curses at Midnight The Curse of the Liquid Gold The Cursed Mirror Dangerous Tides {A Pink Necromancer Drabble Dozen, featuring Etiole} Dark Damp Basement A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest Deadly Shores of Noodle Beach The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness The Demonic Music Box Desolate Nostalgia on a Frozen Shoreline The Diamond Forest in the Bio Dome The Disbelief of Humans Discovering A Floating Castle Dismal Day at the Street Market The Doors' Dark Secret - A Wedding In A Zombie Apocalypse Dreams of Purple Pearls The Drunk Moon Elf Echoes of the Glass Forest Echoes of the Unseen An Eclipse in the Faerie Glen An Eclipse Looms Tonight An Eerie Discovery Eerie Symbols in the Snow The Egg That Was Not an Egg The Elf With Crippled Hands Ember Enable The Enchanted Map Encountering ghostly apparitions in the swamp Evil Eggplants Stalking Outside Evil McEvil of The Twirly Moustache Existential Crisis Perspectives - 3 Perspectives on an Existential Crisis Exploring the Swamp's Forgotten River A Fall in the River A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond 15 Drabbles About Being Transgender The First Flicker of Dawn Fishing in the Rain Five Ways To Save Money in Las Vegas Fizzy and Frigid A Flapdoodle Wizard’s Duel Fleeced for Fizz Fog & Peach Melba Toast After Last Night's Rain Footprints In The Sand Forest Kings and Their Antler Crowns The Fragrant Smoke of Flavoured Herbs Freshly Baked Sugar Cookies The Frilly Nest of Panic A Garden of Pink Chrysanthemums Get your hands off my dress! GhoulSpawn & The Cultists GhoulSpawn Said The Moon Don’t Laugh GhoulSpawn's Toasted Marshmallow Magic A Glass of Fresh Milk Gloom Blob of Doom: The Dreadful Dripping of the Doom Blob of Gloom Glumpish, Grumpy, Sullen, Gloomy Golden Field, Pink Glories The Golden Mask The Graveyard That Ate the Living The Great UnSeelie Court Swindlers He Always Comes Back Heirloom Tomatoes Help! He's trying to feed me! The Herd Approaches Herons in the Dunes The Howl on Silent Moor How to Create a Literary Empire with Just Your Bum Poems How To Kill a Lich How to Hijack a Human Supply Train Without Getting Shot How to Overthrow an Entire Settlement Without So Much as Lifting a Finger I Need To Feel Safe Ignoramus — An Utterly Ignorant Crowd of Humans IkuTursu's Cursed Depths of the Swamp Where Pine Boughs Whisper Incandescent Shadows Over Driftwood Bay Inner Fortitude Insidious Love Invigorating Cool Air Iron Hooves and Burning Roads, Krampus on Wheels The Ivory Tower of Greed The Jar of Pickled Toes Jibber Jabber Ramblings by the Fire The Jolly Red Lich King Journey Through the Zombie-Infested Swamp on the Blue Monkey Judgement An Ode To The Lunatics Preaching The Rapture of September'25 Kelim and The Necromancer: Finding Finderu Kelim Meets Quaraun The Insane Lanterns Over the Faerie Glen Leaving Your Bed Messy Isn't Exactly the Apocalypse The Leprechaun of The Deep North A Lich's Lament For a Mortal Lover Growing Old A Lich's Reflections On Escaping The Swamp of Death The Lich's True Form Revealed The Lighthouse’s Glass-Eyed Horror The Lighthouse Keeper The Lighthouse That Leapt, Space Dock 13's First Jump Through Space The Long Road The Loot Tree Lord of the Hive Lost In The Forest of No Return-Trying To Find Directions The Lost Library and The Snowglobe The Lotus' Silent Prayer on the Sandy Shoreline Lover's Triangle Make tea and go for a rainy forest walk Maple Cotton Candy Served as a Topping on Vanilla Ice Cream A Market Day Disaster Market Day Weekend - Three Days In The Life of The Pink Necromancer Marsh Serenity Reflection Mayonnaise Meeting Mallac Melt, Ya Safe With Me The MerMan's Wrath Milkweed Meadow Mint, Madness, and Motor Parts The Mischief of the Purple Unicorn Misplaced Utensils and the Cascade of Confusion Monsters & Mayhem: How Black Tower Became Pink (8+ Parts) The Moon and The Drowned The Moon Goddess Laughs From The Rooftops The Moon That Hungers The Moon and The Mirror Morning Sickness at The Shattered Stein (TW: MPreg Yaoi) A Mysterious Door No Goldfish, Today? No Place for Birth The Noodle of Power Not Little Red Riding Hood Obsessive Love-Dangerous Love An Ode to My Shattered Sanity Ominous One River In Three Perspectives Open Grave An Ordinary Day A Path of Twisted Trees A Peaceful Night on the Tundra The Peaceful Shores of Noodle Beach Phantom Tides Pickling Perfection Pickles, Panic, & Permafrost The Picnic Pink Marabou Trimmed Rainbow Leg Warmers, a Purple Feathered Black Leather Codpiece, and an Emerald Green Overly Fluffy Scarf The Pink Necromancer's Deceitful Carpet Weave Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies Pliable Clay on the Potter's Wheel Pocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders Finderu Preparations for the Street Market of the GodForsaken City Psychotic Dead Things Quaraun's Beauty Makeovers Quaraun's Candle Business Quaraun's Irritable Day Quaraun and The Wandering Turtle City Quarreling Over the Last Slice of Pizza A Quiet Day on The Blue Monkey The Quiet Evening in the Pink Silk Tent A Quiet Evening In The Rain A Quiet Night on The River A Quiet Place To Sweep A Quiet, Relaxing Foot Rub The Rain-Drenched Alley Raining Cats & Dogs Readers vs Readers, What Really Makes a Reader, a Reader? Remove! The Return of ZooLock The River Boat Man-Woman The Sacred Pink Secret (TW: Mpreg Yaoi) Safety and Emergency System Activated. Please Being Calm Santa's Floating Dead Body Santa's Letter To Satan The Screaming Contest The Seagull Sea Slugs and Clam Chowder Bread Bowls Secret Meeting Hidden Behind Closed Doors Shadows on the Clam Flats Shipyard at Dusk The Silence of the Unseen Silks in the Snow The Singing Crabgrass Crabs — A Green Fairy Wine Tale A Sinister-Looking Stone Well Six Days Earlier The Snake's Prophecy of Doom Upon The Fractured Moon A Solitary Black Sock Spinning Dreams in Silk The Soul Eater Spacious Space Spooky Scary Skeletons - A Graveyard Waltz Stillness in the Garden's Chaos Stone Cakes for the Road Survival Preppers Of The Zombie Apocalypse The Swamp of Death The Tavern in the Faraway Town The Temple City of The Green Goddess, Where Every Street Has a Name The Terrifying Cliffs of Noodle Beach, featuring Etiole That Afternoon When Quaraun Got Stuck In a Crab Trap That Big Bad Darkness in His Heart A Threatening Letter Too Busy Cooking Lemon Tarts Toobe's Well-Prompted Apocalypse (A ChatBot Plans Global Domination) The Trade Caravan A Tumble In The River The Vacuous Tavern Fool Waiter, There's A Head In My Soup Wandering Merchant: The Trader’s Cryptic Goods (Part 2 of ShipYard At Dusk) What I Wish I Knew Before Not Becoming an Astrophysicist When a Government Tries to Cover Its Crimes Why the Sea is Salt A Winter Wizard Wishing For Lobster Rolls-Never Make Wishes In The Presence of Wizards WORMS! Wrath of the Sacred Pink JellyFish Yelling at the Snowstorm You've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman You trust that nonsense over a map? Zombies Are Not the Worst Thing Here {TW: Love fucking wins} Zwodder: A Drowsy Stupid State of Mind Hmmm... soooo... I was making the above list to ALL the links to EVERY Quaraun story published on my website here, and adding it into the footer of my site, here as you can see, which loads on every page, and then I realized... wait... there are over two thousand Pink Necromancer stories up free to read on my website, I can't put two thousand links on every single page! Whoops! LOL! So, now I'm putting list to ALL the links to EVERY Quaraun story published on my website here on this page instead and just link that page to the footer instead. But also I'll just leave some of the links in the footer, as you can see above. FacebookXPinterestTumblrRedditWhatsApp ShareFacebookXPinterestTumblrRedditWhatsApp The Park Bench Method of Writing

1. EelKat Wendy C Allen: Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author & Art Car Designer
2. The Business Side Of Writing and Being an Author
3. A Look at How Much Money A Million Books Sold Is Equal To - How Much Money Do Self-Published Authors Make

The Park Bench Method of Writing

Do you know who this woman is?
If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

as she looked November 14, 2013 - drove away in a 4 door white pick up truck; from BugLight Lighthouse, at the art studio parking lot of Southern Maine Community College	as she looked June 24, 2016 - drove away in a mid-1990s gold Volvo 405 station wagon; from parking lot of Scarborough, walMart
as she looked June 2023- at PortConMaine'23 at the Round 1 bowling alley at the Maine Mall	as she looked June 2023- at PortConMaine'23 at the Round 1 bowling alley at the Maine Mall

She is wanted for:

• -the 2013 murder of my son, Xavier-Octavian Allen-Wildes, whom she ripped out of my 8 month pregnant belly and then used a golf club to beat his brains in on the parking lot;
• 
  
• -for the attempted murder and crippling of me in 2013 (the golf club attack, after killing my son she used the same golfclub to severe my spine leaving me a quadrapalegic for 18 months)
• 
  
• - & 2nd attempted murder of me 2016 (the shopping cart attack - which re-injured my 2013 spine injury, and is why I am now in a wheelchair),
• 
  
• - and the murder of my dog Mickie in 2023 (poisoned the pizza I was eating which my Llasha Apso also ate) and a 3rd attempted murder of me the same day (the poisoned pizza attack).

She ALREADY has a life sentence for prison for the murder of my son, but she has not yet been identified and is still walking free.

As of 2025 she is believed to be between 70 to 80 years old now.

It is believed she was involved in the 2017 beheading of my 75 pet roosters who's headless bodies were hung from rope nooses in my rosebushed, and the May 12, 2015 beheading and vivisection of my cat Cleo who's head was nailed to my motorhome door and intestines braided to the motorhome awning.

She is suspected of being the one who is starting and spreading the UFO, alien abduction, cryptid, erotica, and other vile slanderous defamation gossip rumours about me.

She is suspected of being the one who illegally sold half of my land (now 144 Portland Ave) ILLEGALLY to Don Cooliagrd.

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.

And I'm sick of real estate agents who are too incompetent to research land ownership before they show up to stick a for sale sign in my yard.

The fact of the matter is, my son was murdered in 2013, and the friends and family of the murderer think it is funny to keep ILLEGALLY listing my land for sale, because apparently their child murdering bitch friend didn't hurt me enough by crippling me with a golf club, ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and beating his brains out on the ground with a golf club.

Also, her friends and family like to gaslight me by doxing me on ufo and alien abduction forums, while pretending to be me, and trying to make it look like I believe in ufos or aliens, even though I think people who believe in ufos are raving lunatics and people who claim to be alien abductees are crazy. 

Worse, they've also taken to harassing my WW2 vet homeless friend, by calling HIM an alien, demon, or cryptid and sending alien crazy ufo nutjobs at try to "catch him".

So, yeah, my son was murdered and the murder's friends and family endlessly harass me, my friends, and my family both online and offline, and I'm not happy with it at all.

There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter.

The FBI is looking for information into:

1. identifying my son's murderer, 
2. identifying the scammers who listed my land for sale, 
3. identifying the impersonators who pretend to be me both online and offline, 
4. the harassers who are harassing the homeless man and sending the UFO nuts to harass him... 

• If ANYONE tells you 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine is for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you I believe in aliens, demons, or UFOS, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you my homeless friend is an alien, a demon, a cryptid, or named Etiole for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

I'm going to repeat it because I'm tired of people showing up and making offers:

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.

Some additional thoughts on the FBI Murder Investigation of 144 & 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine:

How many murders are caused by cancel culture, have you ever wondered?
I have — because my son murdered by cancel culture, so I wonder this a lot.

I have never been able to wrap my mind around cancel culture. It has baffled me ever since I first discovered it, when the “God hates fags” group showed up in my yard to start a bonfire on my lawn and burn my books (I’m an author, 138 novels published since 1978) and I later found out the group had spent weeks on social media planning the event and gathering followers, because one minister got it into his head I was gay (I’m not) and write gay erotica (I don’t), and used gay hatred and white power rants (I’m not white, it’s the only thing they did get right) rants on Twitter to incite canceling of my supposedly gay erotica books (that were neither gay nor erotic) and get a mob to show up in my yard.

A week later a bomb blew up my house, I had to rebuild, a week to finishing rebuilding a backhoe drove over my house, 2 months (November 14, 2013) later a crazed woman with a golf club showed up at my college class shattered my spine and bashed my 8 month infant sons head in while screaming “transvestite freak” and claiming I (a cis female) was a “man in a dress”.

Because of Twitter’s cancel culture I homeless, now 11 years, I am crippled paralyzed unable to walk, now 11 years, and my son is dead and the FBI investigation of his murder is still going on these 11 years later, and the killer still walks free and unidentified, and the primary reason for being unidentified is there are over 30k people online who spread these false accusations of gay erotica and transgender about me and the FBI has to investigate EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, yes, ALL of them, yes, if you’ve ever posted hate about me online you ARE being investigated for your potential involvement in my son’s murder, and in 11 years, they’ve only made it a quarter of the way through that list, and not yet found golf club woman..

And the man who started it all, Peter something, is now the biggest YouTuber in Quebec and the biggest anti trans YouTuber on the planet, and has yet to be held responsible for starting the gay erotica and transvestite rumours about me on Twitter because, for some reason there are no laws that hold cancel cries accountable for the the death and destruction their hivemind followers do after being incited into a frenzy by the cancelers tweets.

Perhaps the issue is I am too old to understand the herd mentality of cancel culture, I grew up on a very isolated egg farm and I was 42 years old before cancel culture existed, or perhaps my not using social media causes me to not understand it.

But I wonder how many people out there are like me, lives destroyed by haters, who hate things about me, that aren’t even things I am or do, because they believe one cancelers lies on Twitter and never took the time to fact check before they reacted.

EVERYTHING We Are Allowed To Publicly Release About The FBI Investigation Can Be Found HERE

Do you know who this woman is?
If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

She is wanted for:

• -the 2013 murder of my son, Xavier-Octavian Allen-Wildes, whom she ripped out of my 8 month pregnant belly and then used a golf club to beat his brains in on the parking lot;
• 
  
• -for the attempted murder and crippling of me in 2013 (the golf club attack, after killing my son she used the same golfclub to severe my spine leaving me a quadrapalegic for 18 months)
• 
  
• - & 2nd attempted murder of me 2016 (the shopping cart attack - which re-injured my 2013 spine injury, and is why I am now in a wheelchair),
• 
  
• - and the murder of my dog Mickie in 2023 (poisoned the pizza I was eating which my Llasha Apso also ate) and a 3rd attempted murder of me the same day (the poisoned pizza attack).

She ALREADY has a life sentence for prison for the murder of my son, but she has not yet been identified and is still walking free.

As of 2025 she is believed to be between 70 to 80 years old now.

It is believed she was involved in the 2017 beheading of my 75 pet roosters who's headless bodies were hung from rope nooses in my rosebushed, and the May 12, 2015 beheading and vivisection of my cat Cleo who's head was nailed to my motorhome door and intestines braided to the motorhome awning.

She is suspected of being the one who is starting and spreading the UFO, alien abduction, cryptid, erotica, and other vile slanderous defamation gossip rumours about me.

She is suspected of being the one who illegally sold half of my land (now 144 Portland Ave) ILLEGALLY to Don Cooliagrd.

as she looked November 14, 2013 - drove away in a 4 door white pick up truck; from BugLight Lighthouse, at the art studio parking lot of Southern Maine Community College	as she looked June 24, 2016 - drove away in a mid-1990s gold Volvo 405 station wagon; from parking lot of Scarborough, walMart
as she looked June 2023- at PortConMaine'23 at the Round 1 bowling alley at the Maine Mall	as she looked June 2023- at PortConMaine'23 at the Round 1 bowling alley at the Maine Mall

On November 14, 2013, she used a golf club to bash out the brains of my 8-month-old baby Xavier-Octavian Allen. She called herself “Claire” as though she thought I knew her, but I know no one named Claire and had never seen her before. She was about 65 years old and would be around 75 years old today in 2025. The FBI believes the woman who murdered my son is the same woman who hired the backhoe to drive over my house on August 8, 2013, a few weeks before my son’s murder.

@eelkat #edometriosis #cancer #tumor #belly #womenshealth ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Yaoi Author

If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, on July 4, 2013 and on August 8, 2013 after vandals drove a backhoe over it. The backhoe is still running in this photo, I got home from work while they were doing it and the white haired man jumped out and ran away leaving the backhoe running, until it ran out of gas. It sat in my yard for 6 months until the police finally towed it away.

She is the same woman who severed my spine with the same golf club used to murder my baby. She had distinctive two-inch wide stripes in her hair all the way around her head, platinum blond and dark reddish brown, in a pageboy haircut.

If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer,please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

Of the Portland, Maine FBI Office, 4th floor, Middle Street Portland.

FAQ: How Did the FBI get involved?

The FBI believes this woman who crippled me and murdered my baby on November 14, 2013, is connected to the backhoe that illegally drove over my house making me homeless on August 8, 2013.

Between June 2001 and continuing on into 2025, there have been over 200 violent attacks on 146 Portland Ave, Old orchard Beach, Maine, including the beheading of 75 pet roosters April 2007, whose headless bodies were hung in my rosebushes from rope nooses.

The FBI believes ALL of these events are being done in an attempt to drive me off my land. 

According to the FBI, in 2007, a developer went to the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall and filed an illegal building permit for a 27 unit condominium, on my land and CLAIMED to be the owner of my land. This land has been in my family since 1531, we are Native Americans of the Kickapoo tribe and there are more than 500 graves, most dating from the 1500s to 1600s on my land. 

This land has been in my family well over 500 years, and I inherited it from my grandmother Helen Ricker Allen in 1983.

The FBI believes, ALL of the slander/rumours that falsely accuse me of being transgender were ALSO started by this woman who murdered my son, in a further attempt to drive me from my land via working locals of Old Orchard Beach into a trans-hating frenzy.

If you are a real estate agent and ANY ONE contacts you interested in buying 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, PLEASE report that "client" IMMEDIATLY to FBI Agent Andy Drewer, head of my son's murder investigation, and head of the investigation into the 200+ acts of vandalism and hate crimes which have occurred at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine between 2001 to 2025.

If you have ANY information about ANY of the incidents, attacks, vandalisms, and hate crimes that took place between 2001 and 2025, on 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, please give that information to FBI agent Andy Drewer as well.

My land is not for sale and ANY ONE offering to buy it is likely connected to this woman who murdered my son.

ANYONE interested in buying my land has a HIGH PROBABILITY of being hired BY MY SON'S MURDERER, and you MUST send their information to the FBI.

If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

She shows up at my yard (both in Old Orchard and in Biddeford), at my college classes, at my workplace... always violent and smashing things, always yelling "transvestite freak" and similar hate slurs about transgender people (she seems to believe I am transgender even though I am I cis woman, and her hatred of transgender people seems to be her primary motive.).

At one point the man who was with her called her "Vallerie". But she herself talked of herself (in a bizarre, not how normal people talk "3rd person") Claire. She kept saying things like "I'm Claire, bitch!" and "I'm Claire you fucking transvestite freak!"

She really, really, really, really was going overboard in emphasizing that her name was Claire - to the point that I am led to believe that her name is NOT Claire, and that she was in fact pretending to be someone else, who's name was Claire.

The fact that the man with her (who was later discovered to be a Biddeford police officer - he was identified in February 2025 when he was killed in a car accident in New Hampshire.) called her "Vallerie" and not "Claire" when he talked to her, indicates, that her name is more likely to be Valerie, then Claire.

But I know no one named either Vallerie or Claire, and outside of these events where she shows up and attacks, I've never seen this woman before and have no clue who she is.

She has attacked more then a dozen times, IN ADDITION to the golf club attack when she murdered my son and crippled me.

She frequently dies her hair and wears wigs. And has looked quite different in the over TWELVE YEARS of her stalking and harassment

I have 3 broken vertebrae, 3 ruptured discs, a broken sariliac, hip dysplasia (broken hip and broken pelvic bone, with hip bone pushed back into pelvic bone and fused together), in addition to rheumatism in both hips, both knees, and both wrists, as well as MS.

Rheumatism I've had since I was 8.

MS I've had since I was 16.

All the rest was done by the crazy blonde woman with the golf club, November 14, 2013, at Southern Maine Community College. I was also 8 months pregnant and she murdered my son as well. I was paralyzed for 18 months and had to relearn to walk. Her hair was wild extreme unnatural rave style 2 to 3 inch wide platinum blond and dark blonde-brown stripes.

I found a pin that shows a similar hairstyle:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/tonos-de-cabello-rubio--322148179608879161/

In May 2015 I returned to work, walking minimally with a cane.

On June 24, 2016, the same mystery blond woman with her hair now dyed rusted reddish blond, woman, this time driving a late 1990s vintage gold Volvo station wagon, drove up beside my car, while I was putting groceries in my car at Scarborough Walmart, jumped out, grabbed an empty shopping cart from the shopping cart corral, and attacked again, same as she did with golf club three years earlier. This attack is the one which caused worse damage, and I have still not yet recovered from now in 2025.

In the 2016 attack, her hair was dyed an unnatural burgundy red, with slight grey roots growing out, the same unnatrually straitened pageboy style, and she was wearing a burgundy sweater that time.

In the 2016 attack, her hair was dyed an unnatural burgundy red, with slight grey roots growing out, the same unnatrually straitened pageboy style, and she was wearing a burgundy sweater that time.

She most often looks like this, with the red hair... and it was what she looked like on the December 24, 2016 Christmas Eve attack at my dad's apartment building. And THIS attack we have on camera, and so we have actual video footage of her... including, we have audio files of her yelling and chanting "transvestite freak!" while shooting a gun, during the Christmas Eve attack at 27 High Street, Biddeford, Maine.

Her hair has been a different colour each time she has shown up. In 2021 it was a neon dayglow purple, but still the same pageboy. The 2021 attack she was wearing a black poly satin dress with neon lime green trim

Her hair has been a different colour each time she has shown up. In 2021 it was a neon dayglow purple, but still the same pageboy. The 2021 attack she was wearing a black poly satin dress with neon lime green trim

When she showed up at PortCon 2023 and the Round 1 at the Maine Mall the same day, she was again wearing the black dressed, but this time her hair was died black, but she was wearing a neon dayglow lime green "clown wig".

Her face is covered in deep "smokers wrinkles" and her skin is very, very abnormally dry and flakey.

She had a somewhat large nose, (kind of more like a man's nose then a woman's nose) and very thin lips (almost none existant, again, more like a man's lips, then a womans)... she is a LOT bigger then me... a LOT - I am 5'6" and she's maybe 5'11" to 6'2"... she's like really, really, really big.

When she showed up at PortCon 2023 and the Round 1 at the Maine Mall the same day, she was again wearing the black dressed, but this time her hair was died black, but she was wearing a neon dayglow lime green "clown wig".

at one point at the Round One in the Maine Mall attack, she pulled off the green clown wig while she was yelling and her hair was a black-black super fake dyed black pageboy.

The 2016 attack is the one that did the most damage and. That is why I have the cane, walker, rollator, and wheelchair. And which one I use is determined by how much pain I am in at the time I try to stand and move.

She is the one the FBI is looking for. He said he thinks Bruce’s family knows who she is. He said they become alarmigly, agitated, evasive, and violently hostile whenever questioned about her.

If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

• Everything we are allowed to publicly release about The FBI Investigation Can Be Found Here

She is the same woman who severed my spine with the same golf club used to murder my baby. She had distinctive two-inch wide stripes in her hair all the way around her head, platinum blond and dark reddish brown, in a pageboy haircut.

If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer,please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

I have 3 broken vertebrae, 3 ruptured discs, a broken sariliac, hip dysplasia (broken hip and broken pelvic bone, with hip bone pushed back into pelvic bone and fused together), in addition to rheumatism in both hips, both knees, and both wrists, as well as MS.

Rheumatism I've had since I was 8.

MS I've had since I was 16.

All the rest was done by the crazy blonde woman with the golf club, November 14, 2013, at Southern Maine Community College. I was also 8 months pregnant and she murdered my son as well. I was paralyzed for 18 months and had to relearn to walk. Her hair was wild extreme unnatural rave style 2 to 3 inch wide platinum blond and dark blonde-brown stripes.

In May 2015 I returned to work, walking minimally with a cane.

On June 24, 2016, the same mystery blond woman with her hair now dyed rusted reddish blond, woman, this time driving a late 1990s vintage gold Volvo station wagon, drove up beside my car, while I was putting groceries in my car at Scarborough Walmart, jumped out, grabbed an empty shopping cart from the shopping cart corral, and attacked again, same as she did with golf club three years earlier. This attack is the one which caused worse damage, and I have still not yet recovered from now in 2025.

That is why I have the cane, walker, rollator, and wheelchair. And which one I use is determined by how much pain I am in at the time I try to stand and move.

She is the one the FBI is looking for. He said he thinks Bruce’s family knows who she is. He said they become alarmingly, agitated, evasive, and violently hostile whenever questioned about her.

If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

• Everything we are allowed to publicly release about The FBI Investigation Can Be Found Here

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