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The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane
-- ten MILLION copies sold and counting!
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Home to more than 10,000 articles aimed at helping young authors worldbuild, create characters, write novellas, edit manuscripts, design book covers, and self publish their work.
November 14, 2023 will be the 10 year anniversary of the November 14, 2013 murder of my 8 month old infant son, at BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, Maine. If you have any information about who his killer is, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
My Son Was Murdered, The Killer Walks Free, Your Child Could Be Next!
FAQ: What are the most visited pages on this website and how many visits do they get?
Several years ago, I wrote an article on how to write different types of magic uses, or rather how I personally write various types of magic users within the context of my Quaraun books. Today that page is one of my top ten most visited articles. It gets 50 to 500 views/reads/hits/visits per day depending on the time of the years and has had over 200k visits total since it was published.
Amphibious Aliens: Debunking The Atwater Family's Alien Abduction Hoax with more then 30MILLION reads since 2007 and The GoldenEagle: Debunking Stephen King's World's Most Haunted Car Hoax with over tenMILLION reads since 2007 still rank as the two most visited articles on my website, but, neither of those are writing related.
Writing Medieval Servants is my most visited writing related article with over 7MILLION reads.
This website was started in 1996 and has 1 to 3 new articles (all written by me, I am the only writer on this site) published almost daily. In 2017 we crossed ten thousand articles published. As of 2023, EACH article gets MINIMUM 10 to 70 reads PER DAY, with the high traffic articles getting 500+ reads per day.
And since December 2019, my website now gets three hundred thousand to 7 million reads per month - well over ONE HUNDRED MILLION PAGE READS PER YEAR, making it not only the single most trafficked site in the State of Maine, but also one of the most visited websites in ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!
{{{HUGS}}} Thank you to all my readers for making this possible!
Chocolate Covered Elves
~From "GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun Series)
Chapter ??
(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)
(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
Volume 22 of 130
GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover:
Chocolate Covered Elves
Chapter ??
(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)
(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)
Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.
Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?
You can Find out more about the main characters here:
Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.
The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.
Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.
Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.
Reader discretion is advised.
Author of Cozy & Gothic Fantasy, Sweet/Fluffy M/M Furry Romance, Cosmic Horror, Space Opera, & Literary SoL genres. I write Elves, Fae, Unicorns, & Demons.
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Chocolate Covered Elves
~From "GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun Series)
is
a short Novel of only 100,000 words
(fewer than 180 paperback pages)
This chapter is...
Word count: 000
or
0 paperback pages.
Chocolate Covered Elves
~From "GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun Series):
Chapter ??
(Bizarro Dark Fantasy Yaoi free sample chapter to read online)
(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess; I did not chapter this novel, yet. You are seeing the pre-publication draft edition of it here, which is not yet edited. The published print edition may be different.)
<<< Previous Chapter:
~o0o~ Chapter ~o0o~
The next day Unicorn watched Quaraun as he bathed himself. It always amazed Unicorn that this Elf who daily sought out a brook, pond, river, lake, or ocean to wade into and bathe himself, was also the same Elf who ran screaming from bridges, had a horrific fear of crossing water via fallen logs, avoided rain, and spent an inordinate amount of time worrying that he'd fall into puddles and drown.
“I has experienced great many sex partners,” Unicorn said to GhoulSpawn.
“I'm sure you have. I've never seen anyone who loves sex as much as you do.”
“I has never gots one that bathes as much as him do.”
“No one bathes as much as he does. His need for excessive cleanliness astounds me. It's no wonder he turns dead things into fish. I've never seen any one who was terrified of dirt before.”
“Him be so fearfully terrified of every wee lil thing. Him scared of water, but him more afreads of being dirty.”
“How does someone so terrified of water, bathe so much?”
“Ya know one of tings what makes me Elf good sex partner?”
“I doubt if I want to know, but I'm sure that won't stop you from telling me.”
“Him very clean.”
“What's that have to do with it?”
“A clean anus makes for better sex. Anal sex be painful for the bottom iffy his bottom not clean. Hims bottom be very clean.”
“There now, you see, I knew I didn't want to know.”
GhoulSpawn watched Quaraun. The Moon Elf was beyond beautiful and GhoulSpawn found himself desiring to lay with him, more and more.
“I sometimes think him gets as much pleisance out of cleaning himself, as he does out of sex.”
“Unicorn, I really and truly do wish the two of you would stop flaunting your sexuality in front of me."
“Does we do that?”
“You're doing it right now.”
“Is we?”
“Unicorn, look at him.”
Quaraun was standing fully naked in the water. He'd finished bathing himself a half hour ago. With one hand the albino Elf stood holding a sponge over his head, letting the water squeeze out of it, raining down on his breasts, running down his stomach, and trickling over his erect dick, with the other hand he was sensually rubbing himself, sliding his hand across his smooth chest, stopping to tease his hard pink nipples, before slowly sliding down his belly to masturbate himself. He has his head back and his eyes closed, moaning to his own touch.
“I is looking at him.”
Unicorn reached into his own robes and began jerking himself off as he watched the Elf touching himself.
“Yeah, I can see that. You're both gonna be spurting soon and neither of you are even near each other. Look at what he's doing. That is not bathing. That's showing off to get you chasing after him when he gets out. He's putting on a damned performance on your account. He's knows you're watching him and he knows what it's doing to you. That's why he's doing it. He's a damn whore.”
“Aye. I is aware of that be what him doing. I educated him on how the best way to does it, eh? Him wonderfully obedient lil slut. Him love whoring himself to me. Him used to do this kind of move for BoomFuzzy. Back than I had access to me candy shop. I could get him to stand in vat of melted chocolate and him rub it all over himself, then I eat off of him. I got to lick every inch of that delightful body, feeling him squirm and wiggle beneath me. Him knew I was Elf Eater, him let me claw his flesh to make him bleed. Chocolate coated Elf blood, there is nothing like it.”
“Your sick, Unicorn.”
“Is I?”
“Listen to yourself.”
“I should rebuilds me candy shop. We had shit load ton of fun in there. Chocolate sprayed Elf blood vessels. There was time I were world's greatest candy maker. Did'na get much candy made after I met me Elf, but I did'na care. It excited him, the danger, the risk, the levels of luring temptation he put me though. Him knew I was Elf Eater as well as wanted to eats him plump, juicy lil body. Him not hard muscled like male Elf. Him all soft and curvy and squishy like female Elf. Him svá knew I lusted after him, both for to eat and for to fuck. Him was so wonderfully full of lust. Him would jump right up on the table and strip himself naked, reveal his lovely soft body to me, then start rubbing cooking spices all over him body. Him would make like him were waiting to be cooked. What him doing right now, him would do that with marinade. Extra virgin olive oil steeped rich in tarragon, oregano, as well as basil un himbe siting down inside stew pot pouring it over himself, rubbing it over ever inch of his body. There is nothing like fresh oiled Elf flesh. In the fall, when I made candy apples for the wee children, him jump in the caramel. Ooh, chocolate coated, caramelized Elf. That taste so delightfully wonderful. Him help me cook Moon Elves. Him wonderfully, dirty lil slut un I love him for it.”
“I doubt I want to know the answer, but I have to ask...after you got done fucking the Elf in your candy batter, filling it full of semen, did you use it to make candy to sell to the public?”
A Cheshire cat grin widened across the Phooka's face.
“Aye, I did.”
“Oouwwwe! What is wrong with you?”
“Ya gots to consider, of all the items I put in me candy, Moon Elf seminal fluids was the very least of the worries.”
“What else was in your candy?”
“Actual Elves...”
“Elves?”
“Aye. Elf blood be me secret ingredient. It reason why me chocolate had nice golden red tint to it as well as tasted thus so marvellous amazing. Flour made from ground Elf bones made me gingerbread light and fluffy. Elves hae the bones like chookies. All hollow and full of holes. Grinds to nice fine, wonderfully delicate powder.”
“Like what?”
“What?”
“I don't know what you said. You changed languages or something, there.”
“What? What I say ya not know?”
“Elves have bones like...whatever that word was you said.”
“Chookie?”
“Yes, that word.”
“Chookie. Chookie. What be chookie?”
Unicorn said the word to himself several times while trying to think of the Elvish translation. Quaraun was able to speak, write, and translate at last count eighty three languages, however he absolutely refused to use any of them, speaking only in Ecrodon, a very ancient dialect of Elvish tongue that was considered a dead language. Only the High Elves used it any more and even than it was only used by aristocrats, nobles, royals, scholars and wizards. It was the native tongue of both Quaraun and GhoulSpawn and both Elves used it when talking. It was a nearly dead language because it was nearly impossible to learn. Quaraun could easily switch languages when talking to multiple races and species and often did so, and would have done so for Unicorn, except that Unicorn had taken it upon himself to learn Quaraun's native language. He'd spent nearly ten years learning it and was one of the few non-Elves to ever make an attempt to do so.
Unicorn however, was a Scottish Faerie and had grown up living among Humans and their language was his native tongue and as happened frequently, he blended his own language into his conversations with the Elves. Quaraun knew the language of the Scottish Gypsies and understood what Unicorn was saying when he made mistakes, so rarely bothered to correct him, resulting in Unicorn often not being aware that he was making the mistakes. GhoulSpawn, however, had had little dealings with Humans and could not understand most of what Unicorn said.
“Chookie. Chookie. What be chookie?”
Unicorn continued going over the word in his mind trying to remember.
“Chicken,” Quaraun called out.
“Chookie. Chicken. Chookie. Chicken. Ya knows chicken?” Unicorn asked GhoulSpawn.
“Little fat bird that lays eggs?'”
“Aye. Elves hae bones like dem wee lil fat bird what lays the eggs. All hollow and full of holes. Grinds to nice fine, wonderfully delicate powder. Mashed Elf brains, mixed with Elf eyeballs, pistachios, walnuts, as well as maraschino cherries, make the most delightful mince meat pie filling. Add pineapples as well as raisins as well as mix it with gingerbread and ya has fruitcake to die for.”
Hamsa
Eye of The Grigoi
Eye of the Watchers
Eye of God
Hand of God
Eye of Protection
Evil Eye
Gypsy Curse
“I'm taking a good look at a fruitcake right now.”
“Ah un I made me haggis with Elf gut instead of sheep gut. It why I win every haggis making contest for three decades undefeated.”
GhoulSpawn stared at Unicorn horrified.
“You do realize I’m an Elf, right?”
“Aye, us a tasty looking Elf ya be.”
“That's why they call you The Elf Eater, isn't it?”
“Aye. What'd ya think they call me that for?”
“I don't know. They call me Crazed and him Insane, I guess I thought was just a catchy title someone chucked on you.”
“I were best chef in Scotland un Elves were me secret ingredient.”
“Nothing excites him more then food,” Quaraun said as he walked up beside the two.
The two looked up and saw, the High Elf, now dressed, staring down at them.
“I was just telling the Ghouly how ya used to roll yaself in me chocolate.”
“I know, I heard. I have very good hearing, remember?”
Quaraun pointed to his foot long pointed ears. Then threw a soft pink towel on Unicorn.
“Dry my hair.”
Quaraun turned around and sat down in front of the Phooka, who obediently began rubbing down the Elf's four and half feet of silver tresses.
“Did you really, cover yourself in marinade and sit in a stew pot?” GhoulSpawn asked.
“Yes. I did. And not just for BoomFuzzy. You should see the kitchen he has set up in Black Tower now.”
“Why?”
“Nothing excites him more then food.”
“But he eats Elves.”
“I know.”
“You got in a stew pot and rubbed yourself with olive oil.”
“Extra virgin.”
“Quaraun, you're sick.”
“Nothing excites him more then food.”
“And you're on the menu.”
“Exactly. Nothing excites him more then food.”
“You are deliberately seducing him by being food for him, just to get him to... too...”
“Fuck me?”
“Yes.”
“I am. I love being fucked by a predator. It's exhilarating knowing what he could do to me, what he wants to do to me, what he's tempted to do to me and still know that I'm safe because he'd never act on his desires.”
“I like playing with me foods,” Unicorn said. “Especially when me foods likes playing with me.”
“You're both insane.”
Quaraun turned around, climbed onto Unicorn's lap and seconds later the two were passionately making love, oblivious to the fact that GhoulSpawn was sitting beside them watching their every move.
Unicorn had often joked that Quaraun was his whore, citing that the Elf loved whoring himself to the Phooka. From what GhoulSpawn had seen, of Quaraun's daily baths, he knew this was true, Quaraun had no reason to bathe every day, indeed bathing was not exactly what he did. Unicorn watched from the shore, masturbating himself. When they were both ready to burst ropes of semen, Quaraun would leave the water, and sit on the Phooka's lap, sensually hugging and kissing him, while impaling his ass on the Phooka's throbbing cock. The bath was more of an act of foreplay before a lap dance. Quaraun acted like a female prostitute in heat, riding on the lustful Phooka, giving him a lap dance like nothing any female could have done.
When both men had finished cumming, Quaraun on the Phooka's belly and Unicorn in the Elf's ass, their loving making turned from sensual to wild, as the Phooka, pinned the Elf to the ground, the Elf holding himself very still, while the Phooka released the four very long, very sharp thorns that projected from his barbed penis after ejaculation and impaled them into the delicate flesh of the Elf's now stretched anus. Once the barbs were deep inside, they would extend even more, locked themselves deep into the Elf's flesh, like fish hooks, holding the Phooka in place, literally attaching the two of them together. Once the barbs were in, there was no way to tear the lovers apart, and like a dog with it's bitch, there was nothing Quaraun could do but screaming in agony while the Phooka fucked him with that huge barbed penis. An Elf's body was not made to be fucked by a Phooka – they were not entirely sexually compatible, which made their love making incredibly painful for the poor Necromancer. The thorns would not release until Unicorn calmed down and his penis went flaccid again, and as he was undead, he didn't tire out easily and could stay attached to Quaraun, cumming into him over and over again all night long, until the Elf finally passed out from exhaustion, at which point Unicorn word release the barbs, transform himself into a horse and fuck the Elf again, this time with a giant Fresian stallion cock.
Quaraun had told Unicorn many times he did not want to be fucked by a horse and so, Unicorn obediently wanted for the Elf to be unconscious before Unicorn fucked the Elf while he was a unicorn. GhoulSpawn often wondered if Quaraun knew how often the unicorn fucked him.
<<< Previous Chapter:
Next Chapter: >>>
Volume 22: GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover
A portal opens up in their path and unexpectedly zaps Quaraun and Unicorn into the middle of the American Civil War, landing them right in the Confederate Army Camp. Mistaking Unicorn for an escaped slave and the French Canadian Quaraun for being an underground railway freedom fight for the North, they both find themselves in irons in front of a firing squad.
But one should never try to fight the world's most powerful Necromancer in a battle field of dead soldiers, especially not when he also has a Lich at his command.
With the Americans left to fight hoards of zombies, Quaraun and Unicorn escape to the nearby woods, where they discover the past, isn't what they thought it was, and this war, is actually a thousand years in the future... when Humans have progressed too far and are fast destroying themselves and their planet.
In a future after the Battle of Ongadada has already happened, wandering through fields of crashed planes, downed rockets, and dead autos, and worrying about the moon that is now shattered into millions of asteroids, another portal opens up, this one dropping the Chaos Demon GhoulSpawn into the Pink Necromancer's bed.
The three must work together to find their way back to the 1400s where they belong, but the growing relationship between Quaraun and GhoulSpawn has Unicorn venting his Lichish fury on the locals.
Desperate to return back to their correct time, the trio, head to Black Tower, only to find its been destroyed by GhoulSpawn's future self: Gremlin the deranged Chaos wizard whose only goal now is to crash the moon into Earth and wipe out life entirely...
Trapped In The Civil War
The Scared Necromancer
Someone's Eating The Moon
Down By the River
GhoulSpawn and the Drunk Necromancer
Two Lovers, Two Armies, and an Angry Lich
The Angry Lich
The Dying Elf
Trapped
Changes
Demon Lover
White Rock Asylum For The Criminally Insane
The Gremlin's House/Kill The Baby
GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover Was Written As Part of a Write & Publish A Book In A Week Challenge
Full Details On How This Book Was Written Can Be Found Here:
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Pages Which Feature More Sample Scenes From
GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lords Lover
As Well As Details On How This Book Was Written
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Who is GhoulSpawn?
GhoulSpawn does not a appear in many of the stories in the series, but when he does, he tends to push Quaraun out of centre stage and step in as the main character of the story. His backstory is one of the primary arches of the series. Books with his name in the title, feature him as the primary PoV character.
GhoulSpawn is one of the very early characters from the series and was featured as the main character throughout many stories written in the 1970s and 1980s, where he was then seen as the elderly Gremlin, a mad scientist who claimed to be an ancient wizard and had difficulty staying out of a straight jacket.
Many of the stories from the early Twighlight Manor series were told from Gremlin's perspective, and were presumed to be the narrations of a schizophrenia patent to his psychiatrist (which as you know most every story in this series is, thus why the 1400s scenes are often broken up by White Rock's doctors.
GhoulSpawn is the ancient Gremlin's younger self.
GhoulSpawn is a teenager from the 1970s, who was whisked away to the 1400s by an LSD powered time machine that was built out of a 1974 AMC Gremlin. It is unknown who built the car or why. GhoulSpawn acquired it when he was around 13 years old. The story he tells, is that he one day encountered a group of hippies in the park, and set out to play a game of live action (LARP) Dungeons and Dragons with them, himself playing a Chaos Wizard half-Elf. The game was interrupted by a police raid, as it turned out the hippies were LSD chemists and the glove compartment of the car full of drugs. During a high speed chase to escape police, the car suddenly flew into the sky and was sent through a portal where GhoulSpawn found himself in the 1400s, now transformed into the half-Elf Chaos wizard he had played in the game.
The first time he encounters Quaraun and Unicorn is 2 years later at age 15, in the story The City of the Screaming Statues.
Though Quaraun is the most powerful Wizard ever known, GhoulSpawn far surpasses Quaraun's ability. Quaraun often arrogantly refers to GhoulSpawn as a mage (a slur again magicians) due to the fact that GhoulSpawn has no formal training in Wizardry.
Quaraun, an elderly Elf, 500 years old upon meeting the 15 year old GhoulSpawn; himself spent 300 years learning magic, and can not fathom any belief that GhoulSpawn is a Wizard, due to GhoulSpawn's being so very young.
By the time the 15 year old GhoulSpawn meets Quaraun in City of the Screaming Statues, the young half-Elf has mastered the art of casting in real life the over the top fictional spells from his DnD Player's Handbook and Dungeon Master's Guide and has made himself a long green velvet frock coat, the lining of which is lined with more than 2 dozen pockets that are made out of bags of holding.
Amoung other things, GhoulSpawn carries his car, a big red armchair, around 200 Dungeons and Dragons books, and an ever growing herd of sheep in his pockets.
GhoulSpawn is not in the series again until Summoner of Darkness, where he appears as both the 16 year old GhoulSpawn and the 1,000 year old Gremlin.
Quaraun frequently is walking along and suddenly finds himself in a completely different town, with no real understanding of what has happened. Because he has no ability to comprehend the concept of time travel the early novels do not tell the reader that time travel has happened.
While the time travel element is hinted to in previous volumes, Summoner of Darkness is the first volume of the series to specifically introduce the weird events in Quaraun's life as him falling through portals and coming out in different time periods.
In Summoner of Darkness, The Gremlin finds himself stuck in the 1400s when his computer runs out of power before he leaves, resulting in Quaraun discovery that GhoulSpawn is a time traveler and that they keep meeting him at different ages. For example, Quaraun encounters a 15 year old, a 16 year old, a 1,000 year old and a 1,700 year old version of GhoulSpawn, all in the space of about 6 hours, in Summoner of Darkness.
GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover, is the first time in the Quaraun series that GhoulSpawn takes on a leading role, with most of the story centering on him instead of primary main character Quaraun.
Lich Lord's Lover is set 4 years after GlouSpawn first meet Quaraun, making him now 19 in the story.
After GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover, GhoulSpawn does not again appear in the series until GhoulSpawn the Crazed and The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer, which is Part 2 of Lich Lord's Lover and picks up 3 days after Lich Lord's Lover ends.
Rose Garden is the last volume to feature GhoulSpawn before he is killed by a Thullid, which sucks out his brain, moves into his body and lives inside his corpse reanimating it, thus becoming The Gremlin.
Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer is the story which contains the death of GhoulSpawn and the birth of Gremlin in his place.
GhoulSpawn the Thullid infested undead half-Elf continues to make cameo appearances throughout the series, with his most prominent roles being in:
- The Haunted Lighthouse
- City of The Slushies
- Flamboyant Nipples
- The Battle of Ongadada
- Wild Ghosts' Ritual of the Vortex
- Dread Chant of The Fanboys
- The Pissed Off Pumpkin Patch
- The Crystal Palace of Mt Demontooth
- Lost In a Space That Isn't There
- The Haunted House of The Mind Controlling Pissed Off Pumkin Patch
- The Crystal Cave of Time and Necromancy
- The Poisoned Merman and the Castle of The Signing Sea Slugs
- The Bloody Embrace of the Thullid
- The Black Tower
- Zebulon's Captive
- The Myth of the Mullusk
- The Ties That Bind Us
- The Dragons of Ongadada
- The Curse of The Pissed Off Pumpkin Patch
- You Can Not Choose How History Remembers You
- My Two Favourite People
- Who Killed Quaraun The Insane
- The Malignant Candy Maker and The Labyrinth of The Fuzzy Wuzzy Fluffy Bunnies
- The Blood Stained Asylim of Terror: A Tale of White Rock Asylum For The Criminally Insane
- The Slaughtering of The Unicorn
And if you think that looks like a lot of volumes, more then could be considered him only appearing in A FEW volumes, do keep in mind that the series has more than 130 novels + an additional 145 volumes planned.
The final volume of the series (The Slaughtering of the Unicorn), is volume #275 of the series. The series starts when Quaraun meets Unicorn and ends when Unicorn dies, in case anyone was wondering about the reason for this particular volume being the end of the series.
In any case, of the 275 volumes of the complete series, GhoulSpawn appears in fewer than 30 volumes, making him only a minor character in the grand scheme of things, even though he is a primary character in most of the novels he is featured in, and events that happen with him or are caused by him, play major roles in most every novel in the series, even the ones he does not appear in.
GhoulSpawn remains one of the most hated and most loved characters in the series. People who dislike him, absolutely despise him and have gone so far as to request I remove his character from the series entirely. While people who love him, often cite him as their favourite character and often request I add him into more stories more often.
For the people who don't like him, I'm sorry, but he remains one of my favourite characters of the series and he's not going anywhere.
For the people who want to see more of him: there are plans to make changes to several stories in the series to include him in the future editions, more often.
You can find out more about GhoulSpawn here:
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Explaining GhoulSpawn's Sheep
A staple in every story that features GhoulSpawn, is his glittering technicolour herd of sheep, that gather around him to listen as he reads Dungeon's & Dragons manuals, while sitting in a red armchair, in the middle of some field.
I own the red chair, btw, which you see me sitting in in my BookTube videos while I read. You can see it in this video here:
The 2 most common reader questions asked about GhoulSpawn are:
- What the hell is it with the sheep? They don't serve any plot point and seem to be there for no reason at all. What the hell?
- Does GhoulSpawn have sex with his sheep or not?
The first story to feature Gremlin as a main character was The Wild Years, published in 1987. In this story he is a member of PETA on a mission to shut down Procter & Gamble, after encountering a local sheep farm that supplies lambs for Iams dogfood. In the slaughterhouse on the farm is a conveyor belt, onto which baby lambs are herded, then dropped into a grinder where they are chopped up while still alive.
If you have a stomach strong enough to view such things, you can see BOTH the Proctor & Gamble animal by-product grinder and McDonald's hamburger making grinder in this video here, which shows it being used on baby chickens and baby cows.
(The chicken grinder shown in this video is P&G's Iams dog food processing plant and the cow grinder seen here are Mcdonald's hamburgers be made for you.)
Please be warned, this anti-war, human rights, and animal rights protest video shows EXTREMELY GRAPHIC real life footage of poachers, slaughterhouses, human trafficing, KKK attacks, beheaded ISIS victims, and children killed by landmines.
VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED!
Back to GhoulSpawn, the series' resident uber extreme animal rights activist...
This was a very real farm and a very real machine which I had seen when I was 8 years old, and was the reason I became an animal rights activist and a vegetarian. This aspect of GhoulSpawn's character, his being a vegan animal rights activist with a vendetta against P&G is based off my own life. (If you did not know, I am the founder of the real world Procter & Gamble Boycott and many of the Twighlight Manor books were written specifically for the boycott, thus why a character like The Gremlin took centre stage.)
Readers came to know that if Gremlin was in the story, so too would be references to the evils of Procter & Gamble, Iams dogfood's horrific sheep grinding machine, and mysterious disappearing sheep, along with his random ramblings against McDonald's, Burger King, and other giants in the animal abuse industry.
Unfortunately for GhoulSpawn, he's often rambling on deaf ears, as Quaraun, Unicorn, and others from the 1400s, have no way to comprehend the future atrocities being described by the time traveller. The reactions of people from the 1400s varies from thinking GhoulSpawn is a raving lunatic (thus why he is dubbed "GhoulSpawn the Crazed") to people understanding that he has seen something which has horribly upset him and feeling pity for him, but not really being able to understand exactly what he is talking about.
And then, when he can't get people to listen to him, he starts pulling sheep out of his pockets, not realizing that back in the 1400s he's surrounded by superstitious people who view magic, Wizards, and such things as evil sorcery and people practicing them as witches to be burned and destroyed. As a teenager from the 1970s, GhoulSpawn has as much trouble comprehending the 1400s mind as they have comprehending him.
As no one but GhoulSpawn can get anything out of or even see anything in his pockets, he can safely stuff sheep in his pockets and then innocently stand there while people run around like mad trying to figure out where all the sheep are disappearing to. He'll stuff another sheep in his pockets every time no one is looking and will continue to do this until the entire herd is gone/in his pockets. At which point he'll then jump back in his 1974 AMC Gremlin, fly back to the 1400s and set the sheep loose in green pastures.
GhoulSpawn has a particular affinity for Cotswold sheep, and his habit of stealing/rescuing sheep and taking them to the past, is used as an explanation for why Cotswolds were so very overpopulated in Medieval times, yet today are considered an endangered species.
Over the years it became a running gag in the series for other characters to bully and tease Gremlin claiming he had a sex fetish for sheep. However, GhoulSpawn does not have sex with his sheep and often seen deeply upset over the accusation. Because most people in the 1400s do not believe GhoulSpawn is a time traveller from the future, they say that he made up his story of rescuing sheep from "the gambler" to cover up habits of beasillity. Quaraun and Unicorn remain two of the only people to believe GhoulSpawn's story as he has taken them to the future and they have seen the things he speaks of for themselves.
The reason for GhoulSpawn's obsession with sheep, is a secret he rarely reveals and is known only to his closet friends: while the series often bills him as a half-Elf, leaving people to assume in also half-Human, is is rather instead half-Demon, specifically he is an Uruisg, which is a Scottish Sheep Demon, a man with the upper body of a man and the lower body of a Cotswold sheep.
In keeping with the actual Irish, Welsh, and Scottish folklore about Uruisg, GhoulSpawn is somewhat of a trickster and causes chaos to ensure whenever he is around. Also like the actual folklore he is a notorious thief and pickpocket, compulsively unable to control his urge to simply pick up and take every shiny object he sees.
Things You May Not Have Known about GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover
It took a grand total of 17 days to plot, outline, write, edit, format, create the cover art, and publish GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover, making it my "fastest written" novel ever.
The text itself was written in a single weekend.
This was the first story in the series to say what colour Unicorn's skin was. While other stories said he was "dark" and EVERY story describes his massive frizzy woolly dreadlocked hair, this was the first story to specifically call him "black" and has racist Civil War solider characters calling him "a niggar".
GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover is the most returned novel in the series, with 97% of all copies sold to American readers being returned for a refund. However American sales make up only 5% of the total sales of the Quaraun series, with most of my readership being in Japan, Germany, and Brazil.
GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover is the first volume of the series to show Quaraun having sex with someone other then Unicorn.
I have received more then a 100 emails from angry white power Americans (most of them residents of Maine) who have informed me that upon the discovery the series contained a non-white character, they would read no further books of the series unless I rewrote them to make Unicorn a white man.
More then a dozen emails coplained that there was "no such thing as a black Scotsman", stating that all Scottish people were white.
Scotland has had black kings, and in the 1400s, the time period of the series, not only did Scotland have a black king, but you were MORE LIKELY to encounter a short/pygmy black or brown skinned NATIVE Scotsmen wearing furs, then a tall, red-haired white one wearing kilts, as the "British Invasion of Alba" had not yet happened and kilts (a British invention) would not be invented until the 1800s.
Several people have pointed out that silk kimono are Asian not Scottish and that a Scottish king should not be wearing them. Actually, in the 1400s Persian Gypsies lived in Scotland, and had brought bright coloured silk kimono with them. It was not uncommon for the black and brown skinned Scottish tribal leaders to wear silk kimono in the 1400s.
Meaning Unicorn's being a half-Asian and half-black man, wearing fur wraps and plaid great kilts over silk kimono, is in fact historically accurate for a 1400s Scottish king.
As stated in The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy The Unicorn, was born in Scotland, but is not Scottish by blood. His father being a black man from the Sepik Region of Papua New Guinea and his mother being a Japanese woman.
His father is a Phooka (a black demon) and his mother is an Aswang (an Asian demon).
In every story he is described as "looking like a dark skinned Asian". Which makes me wonder how readers did not know he was not white, prior to the release of this novel in particular.
The Space Dock 13 WebRing
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What do you want to become?
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Whatever you do, be your best at it!
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~EK
EelKat.com
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If you ever made fun of or had any part in the destruction of my farm, and the illegal selling of half of my land to Colliard, you shall lose your land.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my being homeless since 2006 - YES, I AM still homeless in 2023, you shall become homeless.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the backhoe driving over my house, you shall lose your house.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my car being cut in half, you shall lose your car.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in my becoming crippled, you shall lose your health.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the murder of my son, your child shall die an equally horrible death. If you haven't got a child to lose, it will be a brother or sister or parents or spouse or whomever you love the most, and that you should know it was this curse which you brought upon yourself that killed them, they will die on exactly the 7 year anniversary of the very first time, you mocked the death of my child.Evil men go out of their way to try to drive a person to suicide.
Are you an evil man?
Are you sure you're not?
How many people have YOUR hate filled words killed?
Next time you go to do a mean thing to a fellow human, stop and really think about the consequences of your actions.
Did you ever notice how every one has a story to tell about me, yet not one of them ever speaks the truth?
What lies has YOUR gossiping tongue spread about me?
Did you know...
October 16, 2006, bomb blew up my house because of YOUR lies.
August 8, 2013, the house which replaced the one the bomb blew up, was driven over by a backhoe.
November 14, 2013, my 8 month old infant son was murdered because of your lies.
November 14, 2013, I was beaten up, paralized for 5 months, spent 18 weeks relearning to walk, I'm now crippled for the rest of my life, because of YOUR lies.
Are you proud of what you have done?
Enjoy your eternity in Hell. You earned it. You've certainly worked hard for it.
~EelKat
If you have any information about any of these events, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
Please note, this site is the Home Site for The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer aka The Quaraun Series.
The Quaraun series is a set of 2,000 short stories and 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, transvestite wizard.
Due to the content of the books, you must be 18 or older to buy them and they are sold under M18+ ratings in countries that require book ratings on the cover.
These morbid novels do not have happy endings, and main character Quaraun's depression, suicidal nature, and drug use gets worse as the series progresses. If you are looking for cheerful, happy stories, these novels are not for you.
Most pages on EelKat.com are either sample chapters from these Dark Fantasy Yaoi novels or how-to advice and Q&As about writing Dark Fantasy Bizarro Yaoi, and thus many pages feature mention of suicide, drug use, cutting, depression, BDSM fetishes especially CBT, schizophrenia, ritual murder, and thus many pages are probably NSFW.
Please be aware that this site is considered an "Adult Entertainment" website and by viewing it you agree that you are over the age of 18 years old.
Reader discretion of both the Quaraun novels and the pages of this website is advised.
The Quaraun Series
 
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Meet The Characters:
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ZooLock the Great |
Quaraun's World:
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The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: First draft/sample chapters from the novels.
NOTE: The scenes and chapters featured here, are from the unedited first drafts, and NOT from the finished published novels. This was done because many readers had asked to see what the first drafts looked like to see how different they were from the finished product. Because these are from the unedited first drafts, they contain spelling and grammar errors, typos, and sections that are still unrevised. These errors are corrected in the final published editions.
Answering Reader Question About The Quaraun Series:
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Behind the Scenes:
A Look At How I Write The Quaraun Series...
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The Quaraun series is a set of 130 Fantasy novels about a suicidal, drug addicted, serial killing, bi-sexual, polyamorous/polygamous, masochistic, time traveling transvestite Elf wizard, his sex crazed, sadistic, drug dealing unicorn, and their bloodthirsty sentient house. The Quaraun series contains heavy use of the following:
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The Quaraun series has been banned by the following:The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka The Mormon Church (1991) (Reason: too much sex) (Interestingly, there were no sex scenes in the series before 2014) The Arundel Christian Tabernacle, Biddeford-Arundel, Maine (2001) (Reason: evil and influenced by Satan) New Life Church, Biddeford, Maine (2003) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014) Fan-Fiction.net (2012) (Reason: Too violent) Curtis Lake Church, Sanford, Maine (2013) (Reason: Too gay for the family friendly church) (Interestingly, there were no gay characters in the series before 2014 and I added gay characters to the series BECAUSE of this false complaint) Old Orchard Beach Town Hall of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a division of the United States of America Government (January 4, 2016 via court order)(State of Maine, Biddeford District Court: Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574) (Reason #1: Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach)(Reason #2: Contains transgender characters depicted as living in Old Orchard Beach, in violation of the ordinance which states Old Orchard Beach is a "Family Friendly Town" by virtue of it's ban on LGBTQ+ residents) NOTE: As a result of this ban, and my discovery that OOB had an ordinance banning LGBTQ citizens from living in our town, an additional court case rose up, and on October 21, 2016, Alfred Superior Court overruled the ordinance banning LGBTQs in OOB, AND overturned the town hall's ban on the Quaraun series, citing that both the ordinace baning LGBTQ residents and the court order ordering the Quaraun books to be removed from Amazon.comto be "gross violations of civil rights".) Did you notice how 3 different places used the exact same phrase of "Too gay for the family friendly..." In each of these three cases the exact same minister was behind the ban. |
Do you agree? #reading #quote pic.twitter.com/t3VjaM6UE7
— Janneke Jobsis-Brown (@JJobsisBrown) March 1, 2018
Sample Chapters of Many of the Novels Are Available To Read Online:
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Volume 13: King Gwallmaiic, The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley |
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Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 24: The Dread Chant of the Fan Boys |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 23: The Return To Fire Mountain Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 27: The Sorcerer's Tower of Cake
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Volume 00: 000000 Volume 31: The Crystal Palace of Mt. Demontooth Volume 00: 000000 |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 |
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Volume 48: A Baby For The Necromancer
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Volume 00: 000000 Volume 58: Zebulon's Captive Volume 00: 000000 106: The Haunted Lighthouse |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 107: The Battle of Ongadada |
Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 00: 000000 Volume 108: Friends Are Forever (Volume 1 of The Twighlight Manor series) |
Volume 119: My Two Favorite People
Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.
Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing, publishing, marketing, and CosPlaying Dark Fantasy, Bizarro, Gorn, Monster Porn, Torture Porn, CBT, Psychedelic Literature, Weird Lovecraftian Horror, Pink Humour Satire, & BDSM Yaoi.
With this in mind, some pages may not be safe for work and are marked as: [NSFW].
Reader discretion is advised.
Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?
Book publishing hiatus: November 14, 2013 I was beaten up by a woman who claimed to be a unpublished author. I was paralyzed for 5 months and am still 4 years later relearning to use my legs & arms. While I was cripple, offline, and recovering these past 4 years, she next proceeded to hack my website and most all of my forum and social network accounts.
April 2015 she returned, filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces/raw sewage and cut my cats heads off nailing them to my door. 10 cats are currently still missing.
October 2006 she blew up my house with a bomb, in May 2013 put a bomb in my classroom at college, November 2015 put a bomb in my department where I work at Walmart, and June 2016 put yet another bomb in WalMart. The FBI is trying to identity of this woman. More info about these terrorist attacks on my family can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/1667Words.html
If you have any information about this woman, please contact the FBI agent in charge of the case, his contact info is on that page.
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