EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

UPDATE March 17, 2021: Another death. Waiting for a coffin to be delivered. Funeral the 21st. Unlikely to be streaming for a few weeks.


Update: March 27, 2021: It's not even been a week since the funeral, and now there is another death and another funeral.


UPDATE April 5, 2021: There are still no streams, as, we've now a another (a 3rd) funeral to prepare for.

And that is now 3 deaths in our family, in the past 2 weeks.

This 3rd death hits hard, because it was Pippi.

Our family has now had 13 deaths since March 2020.

April 10, 2015, 12 children were kidnapped.

May 15, 2015, the heads of 10 of them were nailed to my door.

August 24, 2020, one was found still alive. he was just 4 years old when she was kidnapped, but she remembered us, even though 5 years had passed.

August 25, 2020, Pippi came home, but her condition was not well. She had been tortured the entirety of the 5 years she had been held hostage. She was missing limbs and covered with scars, had broken bones many years not set, and suffered serious damage to many of her internal organs. That she was alive at all, in her condition, was a miracle. Doctors had little hope of her survival and she was sent home with Hospice care.

Pippi had cancer in her eye and needed surgery for it, which she was scheduled to have, shortly before she was kidnapped.

In the years they had her, not only did they torture her, but her cancer went untreated and spread to her brain.

By the time she was returned to us, her cancer had reached an inoperable state, so we knew she did not have much time left.

Had her cancer been treated, back when she was a toddler, she probably would have reach adulthood.

She died only 8 months after her return.

Another child, to cry out from the grave, for Etiole's vengeance upon her murderers. Another victim of evil men, who will stoop to no ends, to bury the crimes they committed 50 years ago.  Drug lords. Opium growers. Heroine dealers. Selling little girls 4 to 8 years old for sex to priests. They only care about money.

All hail the mighty tourist ass. Millions come to Old Orchard Beach every year, for one thing and one thing only: heroine. They sell their drugs to the tourists under the pier and off the balconies of that giant motel. Than drag little girls to the bedrooms of the condominiums on Smithwheel Road, behind the school. And any child who dares open their mouth and beg for help, gets tossed in the GooseFare Brooke Ravine.

Bastard drug lords. They've been doing this for 50 years, and the town hall and the police department, turn a blind eye to it, because they get paid $6million a year to not report it to the newspapers, when the body of another child washes down the ravine, into the gulley to be spit out in the ocean. No fewer than 5 bodies are found every summer, but how often does it get in the news?

The corruption of this fucking town needs to end.

Yet another dead at the hands of these criminals who run our town.

How long will the residents continue to turn a blind eye to what is happening in our town.

How many more children will you let them kill, before you stand up to them?

Another child is dead and no one in this town cares. So long as they get their money from the tourists. The blood of another murdered child screams from the graves, begging for justice. Tick tock, tick tock, so begins, yet another of Etiole's 7 year clocks.

This is why there were no/to few streams from May 2020 until now.

May 2020, after 4 years of not hearing from them at all, the FBI returned with a lead, which led to Pip's discovery a few weeks later in August.

Because of the nature of the situation, I could not talk about it, to tell you why streams had stopped.

The kidnappers, were enraged that we had recovered Pip, and that is when the attacks started up again on my home and family September 2020.

Pip's condition continued to grow worse, and she died April 5, 2021.

She was only 10 years old.

This is what it means, to not be white in America.

White men, won't even give a child the chance to grow up.

This is what white people do, to none white families like mine.

We are Gypsies with Jewish blood, for that alone we are hunted like animals.

What the men of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, did to my family, will never be forgotten or forgiven.

#If you have any information on the kidnappers or the murders...

#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

Have you forgot the extent of the damage these people did, all because, they wanted to dig up my land and removed bodies buried there, before my house builders found that barrel of bones?

Have you forgotten that 7 town hall workers, 5 public works men, a blond woman, her bald son, and her red haired sister Kendra, and 14 police officers, all lead by a man they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" were the ones 

I name every one of them, except for the ring leaders: blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name". I don't know who those 4 are. I'd never seen any of them, other than the Kendra woman before, and I only knew her fro her attacks beating me up at Panera in 2009, 2010, and 2013.

I can name every one of the others, because all I have to do is go to the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police department website, and their are their faces.

With the exception of blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name", every one else involved was government official who works for the state of Maine vis the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, the Old Orchard Beach Police Department, or the Old Orchard Beach Public Works.

And what exactly did they do?

August 8, 2013 they drove a backhoe over my house. That same backhoe drove over my previous house on the same land April 2007. That same backhoe drove over my poultry barn and horse stables July 2001. July 2001 was the first attack.

March 2015 was the the massive attack, with an entire fleet of trucks, and drove over the Church of the Holy Rhinstone, a church that stood on my land, my garage which is why I no longer have a garage to put my car in, my 2 sheds both of which had my tractors and other garden/crop machinery in them at the time. And of course the razing of the land, the cutting down of the apple orchard - the VERY apple orchard planted in 1530 that this town was named after... he actual "old orchard" of Old Orchard Beach... the very original trees - huge massive apple trees over 400 years old. The grape vineyards, the cherry trees, the pears trees. 

April 10, 2015, they returned, 4 police officer held me a gun point, while 10 other police officers held my children down with long poles with metal wire strangle loops on the end, and beat their faces in with cinder block bricks, knocking out every one of their teeth, breaking their jaws... POLICE OFFICERS DID THAT... while men they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" and "Dan" stood there and told the police officers what to do, how to beat them, while "Mark who needs no last name" boldly bragged that he paid the Old Orchard Beach police $6million dollars to do this.

May 15, 2015... the heads, hands, feet, and intestines of my children were nailed to my door. Later that same day police officer W. W. came to my home begging for forgiveness and claimed that men he referred to only as "Mark and Dan" were holding his beloved mother-in-law hostage and torturing her, and he helped in the April 10, 2015 attack, only to save her life and get her back. He claimed he had no prior knowledge of what was going to happen, claiming that he'd been told they were only going to "scare" us. He said he had not expected anyone to get hurt, he had not known my children would be tortured and kidnapped, he had not known they were going to be murdered. He said he was scared for his life and lives of his family. And he said: "They form a small army, our department doesn't have enough man power to stop them, and every one in this town is too scared to fight back. You don't know what's going on. And I think they mixed you up with someone else. They didn't know you were the owner of this land. They didn't know that was your motorhome. They thought someone else owned this place. It wasn't even your family they were after. You were the wrong target. You don't know who these people are. What they've done to our families. This is the actual Mafia. The real deal. I'm so sorry. This is the address they sent us to. But they had a different name as the owner. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were after someone else. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let my family died. And now yours is dead instead. This wasn't supposed to happen."

June 19, 2016... I did a very specific livestream. You see... A., D., B., and T. in the 1970s and 1980s, were in the habit of dragging big black trash bags into the forest, crossing my land to do it, and dumping those bags into the Goosefare Brook Ravine. In 1983, 3 snuck into Etiole's swamp and planted 3 acres of Marijuana. Someone found it and called the police, I don't know who... it was Maine's largest drug raid for decades. Many, many millions in plants where dug up and removed from Etiole's swamp. A few weeks later A, & D,s 10 year old daughter ran into my yard, touched my car on a dare from other children - the 1964 Dodge 330 former Old Orchard Beach police car, known by Stephen King fans as the REAL Christine, The World's Most Haunted Car... than jumped her bike, and sped down the road, as fast as she could, head on into a car coming the other way. She died instantly, he brain shattered all over the end of my driveway, and her mother A responded by the Battle of 458 - the biggest mass shooting ever in Maine history, that ended up with 3 Gypsy clans and 2 police departments, in a shoot out between 70+ adults all armed with guns. One of my cousins, an 8 year old boy, standing 3 feet from me, had his eye shot out by one of the bullets. While A ran around the street screaming: "FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

THOSE are the 31 children, whose bones were sawed up and tossed into the GooseFare Brook Ravine... yes, that DOES mean, police officers KNEW those children were there and covered it up.  And I witnessed that entire event.

And THAT is WHY... when police officers murdered my family in 2015, I did a livestream, walking to the ravine, to show the world, where those bones were... because I'm sick and tired of the police corruption in this fucking town, and those sawed up bones of 31 children are PROOF of what this town government is like.... as are the heads of my children that were nailed to my door.

At the end of The Battle of 4-5-8... A. took 2 gas cans and poured them all over the big dome house, than set a match to it, and no one knew, why when she did her brother B., started running, jumped in his robin egg blue truck and backed down the driveway, hit Portland Ave doing 70 and didn't stop driving until the high speed chase caught him in CT... oh but we knew before he was out of sight, why he started running... the dome house went up like Hiroshima into a mushroom cloud that could be seen across the entire state... turns out there was a Meth lab in that house.

June 19, 2016... the livestream of the bones went viral, it's what made my YouTube channel suddenly explode overnight... and police officer W.W. upset, by the fact that, the livestream included the entire police call and response, and that response was to laugh and do nothing... fed up with the corruption in his department, he forwarded that livestream VOD to the FBI, and the FBI arrived in Old Orchard Beach, to dig up the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, and all hell broke lose in this town, as most of the police officers suddenly found themselves arrested. An entire new police force from out of state was brought in to replace the long time officers who had proven they could be trusted to uphold the law. Many town hall officials and public works employees also found themselves arrested by the FBI.

June 26, 2016... barely a week later... the blond woman and the red haired Kendra woman showed up at my workplace, Scarborough WalMart, and tried to kill me, yet again... these are the same 2 woman who attacked me with golf clubs at Southern Maine Community College November 14, 2013... they left dead in 2013, I was paralized for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. I was out of the wheel chair, and I was without a walker, I was without a cane. I had almost fully covered from their November 14, 2013 attack with golf clubs... June 26, 2016, this time they attacked with shopping carts, and I'm now crippled for the rest of my life. They shattered 3 vertebra this time and it can't be operated on. I had to relearn to walk a second time, and I'm not yet recovered now in 2021. In 2013 they drove away in the 4 door white pickup truck. In 2016 they drove away in a gold Volvo SUV station wagon.

That blond woman and her red haired Kendra sister, they are wanted by the FBI for attempted murder of me and they are also wanted in questioning for being suspected of also being the murderers of my children.

I don't know who these 2 women are.

The blond woman shows up my driveway frequently, screaming and yelling, sometime accompanied by a small child, about 5 years old, that she pulls behind her in a red radio flyer wagon. She looks to be about 60 or 70. She often wears a denim button down shirt and jeans. She's prone to yelling at passing cars, while pointing up my driveway, and saying: "There's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband."

I've never tried to kill anyone, so accusation is baffling at best.

She seems to think I know who she is, and has made the claim, that "I was that brat in school"... the red haired Kendra woman, sometimes with her, claims to be her sister, also appears to be 60 to 70 and also seems to think I know who she is, and frequently says: "You bullied me in school, but no more, I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my turn to shine."

They BOTH make the claim they went to school with me, and yet, I never went to school, a well documented fact... because I'm the child the FBI rescued what the news media called "Maine's House of Horrors". I was locked in a cage when I was 8 years old. I was let out on Sundays, to go to church, and not allowed to speak or make eye contact with anyone, and this was only done infrequently, whenever church goers asked what happened to that girl you had". I was 31 years old when the FBI arrived, because of Heaven's Gate having killed 39 people, and my uncle being one of the members and self proclaiming himself as the leader of Heaven's Gate after Applewhite's death. The FBI was investigating the murder of 39 people in California, and had no idea they'd find children in cages in Maine as a result.

So you see, when the blond woman and her Kendra sister, make the claim they went to school with me and I was the class bully who beat them up, this is easily proven false, because the time period when I should have been in school, I was locked in a cage, being tortured by my sadistic uncle Bruce.

Also, they are in their late 60s to mid 70s... making them older than my parents, so how could I have been in school with them, even if I had gone to school? At best I would have been starting pre-school the year they would have been graduating high school.

These things they say about school, only further agrees with what police officer W. W. said May 15, 2015, when he made the claim, they had gotten me mixed up with someone else.

July 2016, a month after the shopping cart attack... yet another Old Orchard Beach police officer arrived, this one accompanied by 2 Biddeford officers, who had been former OOB officers... these 3 officers, had a vastly eye opening story to tell me.

They had been called to Old Orchard Beach, to my farm, to arrest me, a call made to them, by a man named Mark, whom one of these officers, claimed was his brother in law. This Biddeford officer, said he requested to transfer ot of Old Orchard Beach department years ago, because his sister (whom he claimed he suspected, but could not prove was the blond woman whom had attacked me at WalMart) was quote "trying to control the town" he said "treats Old Orchard Beach like a dynasty, thinks she's a duchess, has severe mental disorders, and thought she could buy the police department". He went on to say, she got in with the real Mafia years ago and went to her head, and now she thinks she IS the Mafia and most of Old Orchard Beach's business owners, especially the motel owners are scared shitless of her, because they believe her claim to be Mafia. He went on to say, she's not Mafia, but she's good at convincing people she is and stated "I wouldn't murder beyond her. She'd do it just to prove she is Mafia." He said he transferred out of OOB department to Biddeford department because he was fed up with how easy it was for her to get every officer to do anything she asked. He said "the corruption in that department runs deep; don't cross her or any officer she controls; they WILL kill you and every around you. You don't know who her husband is. He doesn't just control that town, he controls half the state."

What he was telling me was bizarre on extremes, but even more bizarre was the live feed radio call, that he had me listen too, as it was happening, on my farm in Old Orchard, while I was at my dad's house in Biddeford.

He said: "The Old Orchard Department called me, asked me to come over here. Buddy Will wanted to prove you were not in Old Orchard and that Mark has you mixed up with someone else. That fucking bastard is crying wolf and trying to frame you, we can prove it right now. We are fucking fed up WolfBoy."

He turned on his radio, so I could hear. A what I heard... a man whose voice I do not recognize, yelling at a Officer W.W. and saying: 

"That is Wendy, arrest her now! That is EelKat. She tried to kill me."

While officer W.W. and another officer, told the man: "his isn't Wendy. We have officers with her right now. Who tried to kill you? Wendy? Or THIS woman right here?"

"This woman right here! This is EelKat I tell you! Arrest her! What do you think I pay you for! You aren't allow to defy me! I own this town! You are my slaves. I command you to arrest her!"

W.W.: "This isn't EelKat. This isn't Wendy. I've known her for years. And right now, she's on the other side of the state. With 3 officers, listening to you right now. You are NOT the law. We've had it with you. You don't own me. And you've mixed her up with someone else. You've been harassing the wrong damned person. You dare call us about Wendy ever again, and I will personally arrest you for false reports, than I'll tell them everything. You'll never see the outside a prison for the rest of your life when I get done with you. You fucking leave this woman alone. You destroyed her life, because you couldn't tell her apart from someone else."

I used to aqua jog, mountain climb, horseback riding, and I hiked 13 miles a day. And in the blink of an eye, that lifestyle was taken away, and every day was struggle, just to sit up and breath, with no hope of ever walking again. I defied doctors. It's been 8 years and I can move around the house by holding on to things and I now can walk again, at the moment only short distances outside with a cane, and the hope is to continue to improve. I still have a long road of recovery ahead. But I'm walking again, something that 8 years ago, doctors said would never happen. 

My farm was razed.

My family was murdered.

I was 5 months paralysed, and had to relearn to walk. It was 8 years ago and I'm not yet fully recovered due to 3 inoperable vertebrae and hip dysplasia. November 14, 2013, 10PM, at WalMart, while putting bags of groceries in the back seat of my car, I was attacked by 3 rapists armed with metal golf clubs, who left me parallelized, in a wheel chair, broken spine, broken hip, broken pelvis, broken knees, serve nerve damage to my left side limiting the use of my left hand, my bladder incontinent from nerve damage, they left me for dead, and I had doctors telling me I would never walk again.

There's more that has happened. A lot more. The thousands of gallons of sewage they pumped into my motorhome in 2015. The cats. the Ptarmagin cats. World famous groups of cats. You remember them. If so, you remember what these people did to those cats. Poisoned. All dead the same day. 12 cats. Dead to what the vet described as: "enough poison to kill a great dane". My horse, she had her head beat in with a rock. My bantam roosters... 70 pet roosters, hung by their necks in rope nooses in my rose bushes.

All because this man, this mystery Mark, whose last name seems to be known to the police but is still unknown to me and man whom I've never seen or met - he keeps his face covered whenever he shows up... mistook me for someone else... and police officers and town hall workers and public work employees.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach... this is NOT the way life should be, you know it.

What these people did to me, should never have happened, and according to the police, it's been happening for 50+ years to hundreds of people, hundreds of families, in this town, and every one is too scare to talk about it or fight back to stop it. That NEEDS to change.

The corruption in our town, needs to stop... but it won't end, until every last person who is being harassed by these people stand up, put their foot down, and say enough is enough, we ain't gonna take this any more.

We the people of Old Orchard Beach need to take back our town.

NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....

The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
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Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 

Dungeons and Dragons:
The Joys Of Calculating Gold Weight In AD&D 2ed

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A DM's Worst Nightmare:
The Joys Of Calculating The Weight of Gold...

About to DM in a week, need rule help from DungeonsAndDragons

Dungeons and Dragons: 
The Joys Of Calculating The Weight of Gold...
and Everything Else In AD&D 2ed

AD&D 1ed Dungeon Master's GuideAD&D 1ed Dungeon Master's Guide

AD&D 1ed Dungeon Master's Guide

Sounds like he's NOT playing 5ed if he's calculating weight of gold.

That's a very 2ed thing to do.

AD&D 2ed you have to calculate the weight of everything - cloths, armour, weapons, food, gold, maps, bedrolls, potions, spell scrolls, candles, water flasks, treasure - unless you have some sort of special ability that allows you to carry way more (like having a pack mule or a bag of holding) you are weight limited to only being able to carry 90lbs.

This keeps the game "real" and doesn't allow a character to go crazy on the hoarding of treasure or carrying too many weapons. In 2ed AD&D you also have to calculate how tired you are, how hungry you are, how thirsty you are, how drunk you are, keep track of how much time you spent resting, etc... as you take penalties in battle if you are tired or hungry or drunk.

Because of these "real world flavours" your group is forced to stop and rest every 8 to 12 hours, forced to stop and eat every 4 or 5 hours, and get deeply punished for being drunk and not ready to fight when you get ambushed by Orcs on the road.

The fact that he mentioned this, indicates he's playing 2ed AD&D. If you look in the 3 core books and all the splat books, everything had it's weight listed on the chart.

This means a Paladin, Knight, or Fighter with heavy armour, usually had to have a horse, pack mule, or servant, because just his armour alone often hit the 90lb weight limit.

It also means, if you have heavy armour you drown instead of swim, because the weight pulls you down.

And it means if you defeat a dragon with a vast hoard, you can't keep the entire treasure and players have to pick and choose which gold coins, magic items, etc they are going to take after the battle. Just because the DM is listing off vast amounts of treasure, doesn't mean you get to keep all of it. You only get to keep what you can carry. Maybe you can plan to come back for the rest later, but unless your wizard thinks to cast some huge barrier around the treasure, it'll be taken by thieves long before you get back there with a wagon. If they are carrying a lot of stuff, they'll have to leave something behind if they want to carry a lot of gold coins. That Paladin, may have to strip his armour and leave it behind, if he decides he wants to keep a couple of bags of gold coins.

It's for this reason that when playing AD&D many players opt to buy horses, mules, donkeys, wagons, ox carts, and servants early on in the game, that way they can carry extra food and supplies, and when the time comes, take way more treasure then just what they can carry of their 90lb limit minus their armour, supplies, and weapons.

It's why I always save my early winnings/money, have a character who "is a wizard for hire" thus does odd jobs at every village he goes to (earning more money than just what he gets adventuring), and is also a merchant so sets up a new shop in every village (and thus has a steady income flow coming in), and as soon as he can afford it - buys a whole damn caravan - camels, horses, elephants, servants... other players see me buy this shit early in the game and they laugh...

...they'll tease my character for having a job in addition to being an adventurer, and laugh over the big over the top caravan that travels along behind him, but later in the game when we are faced with a dragon hoard, and I'm the only one taken large amounts of the treasure with me, including statues, weapons, art works, a whole wagonload of gold bars, and thousands of gold coins, while they are each limited to a couple of rings, 10 gold coins, or small jewelry... they aren't laughing then are they... then they are wishing they had servants to carry bags of treasure, saddle bags of treasure on horses and camels, ox cart loads of treasure.

The weight limit and the need to calculate everything you are carrying really gets some players who don't realize how heavy things are and how very little treasure they get to keep if they didn't come prepared with a way to carry it back. And people wonder why I always end up with these super wealthy characters. Duh! I planned ahead and had them calculating the weight of gold early in the game, so they knew how many servants, horses, camels, ad wagons they needed in their personal caravan. Sure maybe playing a character like that is not standard, but heck, I've been playing D&D for 40 years now. I've learned a thing or two about how to get to keep the gold after you win the battles. :P

Of course, the whole game, my character is also eating like a king, because he's got a pack mule loaded with food bags, while everyone else is eating the rations they are limited to because of the heavy weight of food. AND my character always sits on chairs out in the wilderness, because, he's got himself a chair on his pack mule. No sitting in the dirt for my aristocrate High Elf...who also doesn't have to walk, because hey... in AD&D Litters are a thing, and if you buy one and 4 to 6 servants, you can sit on a throne while they carry you.

I love playing me some Persian High Elf wizard merchants with a caravan, because you can really go over the top with them.

2ed AD&D, definitely makes you really stop and think about everything you take with you on the trip because everything has weight and you can't just pick up everything you see and carry it with you. Get a new sword on the road? You got to toss the old one by the wayside, because both are too heavy to carry at once.

Some people prefer AD&D because this factor forces characters to keep it real when it come to carry ons, while others hate AD&D because it doesn't allow them to just go all anime and carry a dozen different swords at once.

The Next Day...

AD&D 2ed Player's HandbookAD&D 2ed Player's Handbook

AD&D 2ed Player's Handbook

Okay, found my player's handbook (my brother had it, had to go get it from him).

I have BOTH the original AD&D set of core books (the orange spine editions) AND the more commonly used AD&D 2ed set of core books.

So, the info you are looking for is in the AD&D 2ed PHB on p.13 & 14 Ability Scores: Strength and p.66-79 (Chapter 6: Money and Equipment).

"Weight allowance is the weight (in pounds) a character can carry without being encumbered (encumbrance measures how a character's possessions hamper his movement - see Glossary). These weights are expressed in pounds. A character carrying up to the listed weight can move his full movement rate." 

~p.13 AD&D 2ed PHB

In addition to this carry weight, there is also a lift weight, maximum press, etc. Used mostly for fighters to know how much they can lift and swing over their heads in battle. 

There is also charts for "Open Doors" and "Bend Bars" and "Lift Gates", which are used to determine if a character can force open a heavy or stuck door, break out of jail cell bars, or lift a gate or fallen tree to let the others pass under it. 

Now, It gets really complicated reading and cross referencing all these charts, because they are different for every character. Each character has to roll out their strength stats according to their race and age and gender and class and height. No 2 characters are going to have the same weight limits.

In the 3 games groups I was in, each DM had made a home brew rule canceling out these charts entirely and declaring that everyone just had a weight limit of 90lbs regardless of race, class, etc. his made it easier for the DM to run the game, by making it easy for him to remember what each character's weight limit was.

But if you want to calculate off the actual chats. They look like this:

  1. Ability Score +/- DEX/Hit Probability +/- Damage Adjustment = Weight Allowance & Max Press & Open Doors & Bend Bars & Lift Gates
  2. 1 -5 -4 = 1 & 3 & 1 & 0%
  3. 2 -3 -2 = 1 & 5 & 1 & 0%
  4. 3 -3 -1 = 5 & 10 & 2 & 0%
  5. 4/5 -2 -1 = 10 & 2 & 3 & 0%
  6. 6/7 -1 -0 = 20 & 55 & 4 & 0%
  7. 8/9 -0 -0 = 35 & 90 & 5 & 1%
  8. 10/11 -0 -0 = 40 & 115 & 6 & 2%
  9. 12/13 -0 -0 = 45 & 140 & 7 & 4%
  10. 14/15 -0 -0 = 55 & 170 & 8 & 7%
  11. 16 -0 +1 = 70 & 195 & 9 & 10%
  12. 17 +1 +1 = 85 & 220 & 10 & 13%
  13. 18 +1 +2 = 110 & 225 & 11 & 13%
  14. 18/01-50 +1 +3 = 135 & 280 $ 12 & 20%
  15. 18/51-75 +2 +3 = 160 & 305 & 13 & 25%
  16. 18/76-90 +2 +4 = 185 & 330 & 15(3) & 35%

There are another dozen or so lines on the chart, but you get the idea, right?

Simply, yes?

And that's just the first chart... wait till you have to learn THAC0!

You're probably wondering what your ability score is? To find that you roll 3d6 and get a number from 3 to 18. That is your ability score.

What's your dexterity? To find that you roll 3d6 and get a number from 3 to 18. That is your DEX score.

Repeat this to find out your Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. You'll need these numbers to calculate how much weight you can carry as well, once you cross reference all the chart, which I'm not putting up here, just go look them up in the Player's Handbook.


Once you've gotten all the charts figured out, and determined your BASE Strength/Weight ability, now it's time to adjust that even more with the race chart on p.20.

  1. Dwarf +1 Con -1 Char
  2. Elf +1 Dex -1 Con
  3. Gnome +1 Int -1 Wis
  4. Halfling +1Dex -1 Str

Next you head to p.24 where you find a chart for your height, another for your weight, another for your age, and another for ageing effects. You cross references the numbers of each of these charts, based on your race, to further calculate your weight allowance.

From pages 25 to 45 you find a few dozen more charts, based on your class. Each class has it's own set of charts, each varying by your race. These numbers and modifiers are further calculated, again raising or lowering your weight allowance.

Think we are done yet?


Over on p.50 to 65 you add your character's proficiencies and skills (known as feats in 3.5ed onward), and you guessed it... these change your weight allowances yet again.

FINALLY on page 66, you now know how much shit tons loads of crap and junk your character can carry, and now it's time to figure out how much money he has, then send him off to market to buy things, while calculating how much they weigh.

Money in AD&D 2ed is as follows:

  • Copper Piece/Coin (cp)    = 1cp = 1/10sp = 1/50ep = 1/100gp = 1/500pp
  • Silver Piece/Coin (sp)       = 10cp = 1sp = 1/5ep = 1/10gp = 1/50pp
  • Electrum Piece/Coin (ep) = 50cp = 5sp = 1ep = 1/2gp = 1/10pp
  • Gold Piece/Coin (gp)         = 100cp = 10sp = 2ep = 1gp = 1/5pp
  • Platinum Piece/Coin (pp) = 500cp = 50sp = 10ep = 5gp = 1pp

Each characters starts with the amount of gold his class times a dice roll gives him:

  • Warrior  5d4x10gp
  • Wizard 1d4+1x10gp
  • Rogue 2d6x10gp
  • Priest 3d6x10gp*

*Priests can only purchase equipment and goods and must give to his church all but 3 of the remaining gp, as it is assumed his church provided his equipment and gave him 3gp of spending money.

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 2ed

Have you got a DM Screen?

The best way to not look like a fool in front of characters for forgetting the basics, is to get a DM screen for the campaign you are running. Each ed had different rules, and each setting within each edition as different rules.

For example 2ed Ravenloft you take Sanity Hits and slowly go Insane, rather than taking Damage Hits.

2ed SpellJammer your characters have to keep track of gravity, oxygen levels, and the stability of the barrier around their ship that keeps them from just being sucked into the void of space.

In SpellJammer, player characters are Elves and Mind Flayers. In Ravenloft, Elves don't exist and Mind Flayers are monsters in every basement.

In Forgotten Realms you can play Drow as player characters. In every other setting Drow are evil monsters.

The DM screen, has all the stats, hit throws, saving throws, THACO, weights, basic stuff each class, race can do, etc. It has the base rule for the edition in question and any variations that are specific to the setting.

Usually you can run a whole game, just using the stats off the DM screen. The stats charts are on the side that faces you, while some thematic picture is on the side facing the players to get them in the mood of the setting theme.

AD&D 2ed is definitely the most rules heavy, has the most extra stats to keep track of etc. Whole 5ed is the most beginner friendly for not being quite so rules heavy.

Dungeon Master Screens

If you are looking to play D&D "out of the box" with out any need for the 3 core rule books, you should look into the Box sets: Castle Ravenloft, Wrath of Mardalon, Legend of Drizzt, and Temple of Elemental Evil. They cost around $60 each, and are the rarely ever mentioned 4.5ed that most players are not even aware exists. Each box includes a 16 page rule books (simple to learn) and 100+ game tiles, 100+ minis, and 6 already rolled out player characters with reusable cardboard stats charts.

Most hard core gamers HATE the 4.5ed most of all, but it was designed to teach children how to play D&D. So kids as young as 8, can jump in and play, without having to know the huge amounts of rules from the 3 core books.

The 4.5ed is a great way for someone to get back into the game after a long break. Gets you familiar with the basics in 15 minutes and has you ready to run a game even if you've never heard of D&D before. Definitely something you might be interested in looking into.

4.5ed D&D

And yes, those Magic the Gathering ones are part of the 4.5ed D&D set. 

If you didn't know, Magic the Gathering is the card game edition of Dungeons and Dragons.

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