146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach Maine is Not For Sale - Call FBI Murder Tipline to report it if anyone tells you it is

Bizarro Yaoi Novel
Night of The Screaming Unicorn



By Wendy C Allen

A summary of the book deemed too gay for old orchard beach, maine:

NOTE: This is Bizarro Yaoi Monster Porn and contains knotting.

Here is the book that started the hate crimes:

Do YOU think THIS BOOK is "Too gay for Old Orchard Beach"?

A small, thin, sick, and very suicidally depressed, opium addicted, 300 year old Transvestite albino Moon Elf Necromancer, with an parasitic alien Jellyfish living in his brain and telling him what to do, and has white hair longer than Rapunzel's, and is wearing a pink sequin dress and a feather boa, has pointed ears a foot tall and 3 dozen ear rings in each, all connected by chains to the dozen more rings in his nose, and happens the be the most powerful wizard on the planet, but you don't want him pointing his wand at you because he can't lay off the drugs long enough to get his spells right, has just fled a Human Tavern, where he was mistaken by the Humans for being a 20-something female prostitute, and narrowly escaped a gang bang rape, but not before one of the Humans ran a sword through his belly. He was at the tavern to drink himself into an oblivion, because his lover had commit suicide.

Now terrified, wounded, on the run from a band of Humans, carrying a stolen DracoLich in his pocket that s bigger on the inside, higher then heck,  and talking to a map that is talking back to him, the very high High Elf flees to the coast hoping to find a flying ship on which to leave the planet. Before he gets there however a massive storm rises out of no-where, forcing him to seek shelter in yet another tavern, this one called The Screaming Unicorn, and surrounded by giant pine trees that have up rooted and are walking around, while hundreds purple cartoon puppy dogs bound around for no reason. (I'll point out that this is the 1400's and The Screaming Unicorn tavern has a very 1970s neon bar sign that says “Screaming Unicorn” flashing in bold bright colours.)

 88,589 / 33,000 words.
284 pages.

At The Screaming Unicorn, the Elf meets a 2,000 year old, drug dealing, candy making, poppy growing, shape-shifting Faerie Horse (a Phooka), known to the locals as The Screaming Unicorn. (In Scottish mythology a Phooka is the evil black version of a Unicorn, Unicorns always being good and white). The Elf, knowing that Phookas are notorious for their habit of eating everyone they meet, tries to leave only to find the tavern was never there, the whole thing was an illusion and he's now caught in the evil Fae's trap, as he realizes too late he's been tossed down an oubliette, which contains a bedroom fit for a porn star.

Two hundred years prior to this: The Elf's lover, a Faerie and fellow Necromancer killed himself in a Lich making ritual, that went horribly wrong. His lover's soul was lost in a burning hell dimension and his body reduced to bones. The Elf attempted to finish the spell to resurrect his lover as a Lich, but not yet being a Necromancer had no idea how to cast the spell, and sent his lovers soul to live in the body of an ice sculpture shaped like a unicorn. The ice golem vanished leaving the Elf alone with no idea how to find the soul of his dead lover. And the past 200 years he has spent his life travelling around the world, drinking in taverns and casting weird mismade spells to try to bring his lover back to life – and at some point, unknown to the Elf, it worked, his lover was resurrected as a demonic unicorn lich.

100,372 / 50,000 words.
327/ 160 pages.
Published!

Back at The Screaming Unicorn Tavern, the tavern has melted away and turned into the ruins of a castle, long ago crumbled away. The Elf, thinking himself mortally wounded, a failure as a wizard, and about to be eaten by a monster, simply gives up and waits for the Unicorn to kill him, not realizing the Unicorn is in fact his now undead resurrected lover.

The Unicorn realizing the Elf does not recognize him, not knowing the Elf has a serious injury, and still being angry because of a fight they had had just before he'd commit suicide, decides to tie the Elf up and torture him, which leads to  anal sex with a monster that has four inch long thorns growing out of his Fresian stallion penis.

And that is the entire 271 page story reduced to a single page summary.





What Is This Site?

I'm an author. This is an author home page. It's about me, my life, my books, my hobbies, my home town, and anything else that applies to me and my life. 

Since starting my writing career in 1978, I have written 130+ novels, 2,000+ short stories, 6,000+ non-fiction articles (ALL are found on this site), a few dozen stage plays, 12,000+ blog posts, and a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck (I only worked for Disney one year (in 2005) and only wrote a few stories for their Danish comic books).

NOTE: I ONLY write the Quaraun series (aka The Twighlight Manor series aka The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane). In recent years there has been an issue with impersonators trying to pass books off as written by me, notably several non-fiction and Erotica books. I write neither nonfiction nor Erotica.

ALL of my books and their cover arts are listed on my website here. Beware of any books you find claiming to be me. If the books are NOT listed here on my website, they are NOT my books.

In fiction works, I specialize in Weird/Bizarro Tales set in 40th century CyberPunk-Quasi Medieval, Cozy Dark Fantasy and Science Fiction worlds featuring an intersex Elf and his Faerie husband main characters.  I DO NOT WRITE ANY OTHER SERIES - THIS SERIES IS THE ONLY ONE I WRITE.

Non-fiction (found ONLY here on my site) is daily updates of events in my life, and how-tos on how I write my novels.

I DO NOT write Erotica.

I DO NOT write books with HUMAN characters.

The Erotica books and books with Human characters, that you are finding, are written by scammers trying to impersonate me.

There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter. If you find any such books, please report them to FBI Agengt Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

The FBI believes the people behind the impersonation accounts showing up, are relatives of the woman who murdered my son.




 | Index |



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Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻
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