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The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

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Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
Of What? How to Better Bed Kings?

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EXTREME SPOILER WARNING!

Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 

Writing Controversial Books:
A Question About Political Correctness,
White Supremacists,
and
Why Do Americans Hate Black People?

Political correctness, eh?

My most returned novel, as in 97% of all sales to America result in the book being returned... is a time travel novel, that features a scene where 2 wizards (one Persian and the other Scottish) from the 1400s suddenly find themselves in the American Civil War.

Note that this is volume number 22 of a long running series, in which one of the 2 wizards, is described in every 21 previous novels as "a Scottish tribal king", having "dark skin" and "black eyes" and "wooly deadlocked hair", but never specifically comes out and says he's a "black" man.

In volume 22, they accidentally fall through a portal opened by another wizard and fall out of the sky to land in the middle of a battlefield in the "Deep South" (exact state not specified). They are immediately surrounded by soldiers in grey uniforms who accuse one wizard (the white man) of "helping the escaped N-". The black man, still never yet called specifically "black" is accused of being "an escaped slave" and soldiers go back and forth between calling him "a buck" and "a N-" .

Both wizards are beaten up and taken as prisoners of war.

Now, at the time I wrote the novel, I struggled with should I or shouldn't I use the "N-"word in it. But because it was not the narrator using it and the only characters who used it were bigoted hate mongers who were beating him up while they used it, and it was historically accurate for that type of person in that time period to use that word, so, in the end, the book went to publication with the word in it about 2 dozen times.

So, when the backlash against the book came, I THOUGHT I knew why people were returning it at a rate of 97% of all sales to America.

I thought wrong.

I found out the reason the book was being mass returned, when hundreds of emails soon followed the return of the books, and interestingly... not one of them were upset about the n-word.

Nope.

You want to know what they were upset about?

That I had not informed them until volume 22 that "there's a damned N- in the story"

Uhm....???

They informed me in many raging infernos of emails that they, being "proud Americans" made sure to "never buy books with those damned N-s in them" and ONLY read books "featuring an all white cast". They spent quite a bit of text calling me "a N-loving cracker" because I have a main character who is a black man.

Interestingly more then a dozen of the extremely "white power" emails, included long rants about Scotland, and the fact that "my family is Scottish and there is no such thing as a black Scotsman".

Uhm...

Okay. Except you know, Scotland had nearly a dozen black kings between 900 to 1500, and before the Celts invaded Scotland. Scotland was made up most of small tribal bands of black skinned pygmies known as "the Picts". From about 1200 to 1530, the majority of the non-black population of Scotland were Persian Jews and Persian Muslims, and Mongolian refugees. The black Picts, intermarried with all of these groups, creating one race that called themselves The Magi (yes, the "wise men" of the Bible)

The Magi, were a group of shaman-like witches, knows as "Mages". They had dark skin, wooly hair, were all very short most under 5 feet tall, and wore very distinctive kimono-like silk robes over silk hakama-like pants. Known as the lien & great kilt.

When the Celts (a group of blond white Romans) invaded Scotland (then known as Alba) they slaughtered nearly 80% of Scotland's native black Pictish population. The few who survived, where the ones who had intermarried with the Persian Jews & Muslims. Only a 1,000 or so survived the mass massacre of the Celtic invasion, and in the 1300s they escaped to Egypt. They lived in Egypt for many decades and became known as The Gypsies which means "the people who live with the Egyptians" (Note that the Gypsies are in no way DNA related to either the Romani or the Travellers who are 2 other very distinct groups.)

In the 1530s, they were captured by the British and marooned on a deserted island.

These black/Jewish/Muslim/Pictish/Persian Scotsman named that deserted island "Nova Scotia" (New Scotland).

They intermarried with a tribe of natives known as the Kickapoos (the Kickapoos now live on a reservation in Kansas but in the 1500s they were in Quebec). They became known as The Scottish Gypsies and in 1648 the Googings Clan settled and founded the town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, where in 1994, Stephen King would use them in his movie The Thinner, which was filmed on their farm and featured the last of these now nearly extinct real live Gypsies in his movie. (I'm the "Gypsy Witch" that he based the movie's Gypsy witch character off of, by the way.)

Today, known as "Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies" these tiny, short, dark skinned, dark eyes, Scotsman with long ropes of wooly hair, still live as they did in Medieval times, most not having houses, electricity, or running water and living in various tents, caravans, lean to's, covered wagons, or motorhomes throughout the dense old growth forests of Maine.

The thing of it is... I used this very real Gypsy clan as the basis for these 2 wizards that are the main characters of the series. Intense amounts of research and one on one interviews with the Gypsies themselves, went into making these characters as historically accurate as possible.

And so the last thing I expected to hear as a complaint from readers was: "I'm returning this book, because there is no such thing as a black Scotsman"!

In the end, no one cared or batted an eye at the novel's use of the N-word, because they were too busy raving and ranting about the fact that the novel contained a black Scotsman!

Here I was spending weeks worrying about using the N-word in the book, and thinking it was the N-word that made the book not well liked, only to find out that something completely different and unexpected was the reason the book was being returned!

Interestingly, several readers accused me of being white, and said things like I was a "disgrace to our kind" (white people) for featuring non-white characters in my books.

The thing is: While they are complaining there are no such things as black Scotsman: I'm not white, I'm not American. I'm Scottish. And you know... not white. It's rather amusing the fact that they assumed I was either white or American. LOL!

I suppose, however the most ironic thing of all of this, is that the character in question is also by race, a Unicorn.

Yes.

A unicorn.

As in a horse.

With 4 legs.

Pointy fluffy ears.

And a shiny horn on his head.

Yes. 

A little black pony.

That's right... he's NOT a Human.

Their hatred of black people was that bad, that they flipped out over a freaking black HORSE.

In addition to describing him:

• a tribal king/clan king
• dark skin
• black eyes
• having ropes of wooly black hair/dreadlocks/fairy locks

... he is also described as:

• covered in shaggy black fur, now turned grey
• 4 knobby legs, that ended with sharp talons instead of hooves
• his tail and mane, once braided long ago by some Human, now grow in long matted ropes, stuck full of twigs, moss and mud
• a chubby little pony, with an old sway back
• a small shaggy pony, only the size of a goat
• an old grey stallion, now blind with age
• his fur grown thick and fluffy, in desperate want of brushing

Yes, dear readers, the White Powers of America, hate black people, black HUMANS, so much, that not only did they not notice King Gwallmaiic was black, they also failed to notice, he was a horse.

Behold, the power of the words "niggah" and "slave".

When a drunk Confederate soldier, in a novel, mistook a black horse for an escaped slave... and resulted in 97% of all books sold in America, to be returned, and many hundreds of white power hate letters to be sent to the author's email, calling her a "nigger loving cracker"... because she wrote about a black, Scottish Unicorn - a horse with a horn.

I DID mention race, AND also DID describe skin color, AND I also DID describe physical features, AND he is a character who does NOT like white people and his dialogue is filled with constant, incredibly racist, very anti-white statements AND...

...he's described as being

a HORSE,

a PONY,

and a UNICORN,

literally THOUSANDS of times.

The story is about an Elf Wizard and his freaking pet Unicorn, for crying out loud!

Are they that frigging stupid?

And readers STILL translated him as white!

And HUMAN!

It took a Confederate soldier calling him a "slave" 22 volumes into the series for them to finally see that he was black.

But they still have not yet figgered out that he's a HORSE!

He's also a spoof of the My Little Pony, so he's constantly using illusions to give himself cotton candy coloured fur and Care Bear "tummy powers" and fruitsy-cutesy nonsensical nicknames.

I can not understand how or why they overlooked his race. And how they did so for 21 freaking novels! It could not have been made any plainer the fact that he was black, but, readers see what they want to see, I guess.

Racist readers are bigoted, hate mongers looking for reasons to be hateful. 

It doesn't matter if the character purple Unicorn with pink polka dots (as he is also often described), they are so blinded by their vehement hatred for non-people, that they are going to accuse the lemon yellow pony with a rainbow tattoo on his bum of being a gay Chinese man, and a shaggy black unicorn speaking broken English as a nigger. Because that is what racist bigots do.

Haters are gonna hate, no matter what you write, so just write your story and ignore the haters. They are small minded gutter scum not worth wasting thoughts on.

Oh well.

But it taught me something... being politically correct, really doesn't matter, because even if I had not used the n-word in that book, it still would have been returned, because they had found something completely different to complain about, (their claim that there is no such thing as non-white Scotsmen) something that, you know, me being a non-white Scotsman myself, never would have thought would have been a complaint at all! It taught me that

• 1: people will ALWAYS find something to complain about

and

• 2: Americans especially can come up with some of the strangest danged things to complain about, that makes us non-Americans look at them and go: "Really? THAT'S what you want to complain about? Of all the things in this book you could complain about, you picked THAT?"

sigh

In the end, I've learned, it doesn't matter what you write, it's going to offend someone, somehow, probably in ways you least expected, so you might as well just write your book and ignore the haters. You can't please everyone so you might as well please yourself.

When the two armies met, a bloody battle broke out between them and Quaraun, did what he does best: he ran and hid.

When the battle was over, the enemy retreated, but with heavy losses on their side and Quaraun now seen to be utterly useless, the soldiers turned on him.

“You damned nigger loving bastard,” the officer screamed as he punched Quaraun in the face, knocking him to the ground. “I ought to shoot you.”

“Gets away from me Elf,” Unicorn roared as he lunged at the soldier, pushing him to the ground, hitting him furiously over and over again. “Free yairself from me Elf, ya no touch him!”

“No!” Quaraun screamed. “Unicorn don't!”

But the Phooka wasn't listening, he was just pummelling the soldier over and over and over in a blind raging fury, smashing his head to a pulp with his bare hands.

One thing Humans often misjudged about the tiny Faerie, was his incredible strength. Phookas were well muscled flesh eating predators, built for killing. In their true form they had viscous flesh ripping fangs and horrific razor sharp claws. Monsters in the truest sense of the word, a Phooka was a formidable man eating beast. That these Trickster Faeries took on the outer appearance of Human form, was only to trick Humans into getting their guard down, so they could get close enough the kill them and eat them.

Another thing about Phookas were their fierce protection of their mates. A Phooka could be induced into a wild, murderous blood frenzy over nothing more then someone giving their mate a look they didn't like. Unicorn thought of Quaraun as his mate and was very defensive and protective of the frail little Elf, so when he saw the soldier punch the Quaraun, Unicorn simply lost it and let every once of raging fury he had in him, out on the Human.

Quaraun scurried back to his feet, and scrambled to pull Unicorn off the solder.

“Unicorn! Stop! Please! Stop!”

Quaraun pulled Unicorn away, as other soldiers were gathering around them. Quaraun stumbled, fallen backwards, Unicorn falling on top of him. The two lay staring up at the dozens of guns now pointing down at them. Other soldiers were gathered around the fallen officer. The soldier's blood dripped from Unicorn's hand. Fragments of his skull and brain were spattered on Unicorn's face. Quaraun didn't have to see the Human or hear what the men were saying to know that the officer was dead and they were now in a lot of trouble.

“You shouldn't have done that,” Quaraun whispered to Unicorn.

“Him was doing harm to ya. Yes?”

“I can take it, Unicorn.”

“No ya can'na. Ya is weak lil wimp.”

“No, you're right. I can't, but you didn't have to kill him.”

“I Phooka. I kill fucking bastard Humans. It what I do.”

“Unicorn, please...”

“I can kill all o them ones der in heartbeat un I shoulds. They is fucking bastards every which one of thems.”

"They are white, Christian Americans."

"Un dat all de more reason dair is ta kill t'em. Whiter dey is, more C'ristian dey be, more American dey is, more de more is dey kill every last being what is nay them. Dey vie beasts is scum of Earth, white Humans is plague upon everyt'ing what is decent. Dey vile white beast does nah deserve to lives."

"Yes. The whiter they are, the less compassion they have towards life. That is the white Man's way. They are barely sentient beings at all. You know that.  We've been in this time period before, you know what the white Humans are like. Killing them only makes them more violent then they already are."

"Da more reason dair be ta kill them. Do the world a favour un get t'eir white asses off de planet, while dair still be somet'ing none white left to save."

"They're Christians, Unicorn. They march with the flag of the non-White God they murdered. The cross they killed him on, on every flag. The more Christian they, the more likely they are to kill us for not being white or Human. Murder is all the Christians know how to do, it's what their God teaches them. They eat the flesh of their God and drink his blood. Do you have any idea how barbaric Christians are?" 

"Killing dem stops dem afores dey kill again."

"I abhor killing. You know that. We don't kill people."

"Even killing monstrous beasts like dese white Christian Americans?"

"Not even white trash American Humans."

"How much pacifism we suppose to give dese murderous bastards?"

“Unicorn please....”

“Why ya nay let me eradicates them?”

“They brought us into the future. We can't do anything to change history. We need to get back to our own time without doing anything to disrupt the future.”

“This no be good future. I believe we kill them all, we make future lot much more better place. Ya want save life? How many persons they gonna eliminate if we no put an end to thems war, eh?”

The soldiers dragged Quaraun and Unicorn back to the Colonel’s tent. Quaraun did not resist and remained quiet, but Unicorn yelled and screamed and threatened the soldiers all the way there. The fact that Unicorn's black, whiteless, irisless eyes had turned a white blue and were starting to glow, was lost on the angry Humans, but not on Quaraun, who was dreading the level of anger Unicorn was being driven to.

Every once in a while, Unicorn would get lose and take a swing at one of the soldiers and this would result in several of them holding him down while others kicked him and beat him, resulting in Quaraun screaming and pleading with Unicorn, begging him to be quiet and stop resisting. The trip back to camp should only have taken an hour, but because of Unicorn's fighting them the whole way, it was several hours, before they finally reached camp.

The men quickly explained to the Colonel the events that had befallen them.

The Colonel shoved Unicorn towards the two soldiers standing by his desk.

“Keep that damned slave seated and quiet,” the officer ordered his men. “Shoot him if you have to. That black bastard has a mouth like the blazing pits of Hell on him. I hate niggers.”

The soldiers pushed Unicorn into a chair and stood on either side of him watching him suspiciously as though they expected him to run out and kill every white man among them.

“Damned nigger lover,” the officer sputtered to himself as he turned back to Quaraun. “I should have known you was useless, minute I found out you considered that black bastard a friend instead of your slave. Who's side of this war are you on?”

“I'm not on any side. I don't even know what this war is about. This is not my time period. You brought me here. I'm not from here.”

“Damn Hell you aren't. You haven't got a clue how to keep your slave in line.”

“He's not a slave.”

“He's blacker then tar, that makes him a slave.”

“Ya fucking Human bastards, all ya ever do is enslave every thing ya get ya filthy hands on.”

“Listen to the mouth on that black bastard.”

“Fucking piece of shit white Human bastards do no like the mouth of me fucking black ass. Fuck fucking fucked fucker fucking fuckups fuck fucking fucked fucking fuckup fucking fucker's fucking fuckup,” Unicorn began muttering to himself.

“I don't believe in keeping slaves.”

“Nigger lover. Should have known.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“What should we call you, eh? You're roaming around the battlefield with a black devil following you and you say he's not your slave.”

“Iffy ya'd let me speak, perhaps it could be, I could clarify that,” Unicorn said.

The commander punched Unicorn in the face. Quaraun jumped away, terrified, but Unicorn just sat there, glaring at the officer.

“Ya fucking bastard, ya'll pay for that,” Unicorn said, licking the blood from his split lip.

The soldier hit him again.

“I told you I didn't want to hear a word out of your filthy black heathen mouth.”

“I is no heathen, I is Phooka.”

“I said shut up.” The Colonel hit him again.

~From "GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover" (Volume 22 of The Quaraun Series)

Interviews With The Thinner Gypsies:

September 26, 2017
The Latest Attack By Old Orchard Beach's Renegade KKK Members Who Use Their Cars As Battering Ram Weapons, To Slam Into Me While Driving Home, Has Done Horrific Amounts of Damage To My Daily Driver:

The car which attacked me on the Ross Road, just outside of the entrance to the Blueberry Plains, was a fairly new model of a Honda minivan, color maroon/burgundy metallic.

As with the previous attackers, this car had no license plates on it.

The driver appeared to be a man, but could have been a woman. Was wearing a straw hat, pulled down over their face to conceal their features.

This is not the first time they have done this. This particular attack however has done several thousand in damages to my car.

It is unknown if this driver was armed, however it should be noted that previous attackers, were armed with illegal automatic rifles, and it is assumed this attacker likely was as well.

The passenger's side of the front bumper of their car has a large pink paint smear on it, from the pink paint on my car.

Do be aware that this group of domestic terrorists, (who call themselves "The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan") are wanted by the FBI and are considered to be heavily armed and extremely dangerous. Their attacks on the non-white, non-Christian, and LGBTQ residents of Old Orchard Beach are becoming more frequent and much bolder. Do NOT approach them if you see them, just call the local police and the FBI immediately and run as far away from range of their gun fire as possible.

Do keep in mind that this group of terrorists are the ones who blew up my house with a bomb October 18, 2006, beheaded my cousin July 2013, drove a backhoe over my next house August 8, 2013, beat me up on November 14, 2013 leaving me paralyzed 5 months and crippled for the rest of my life, filled my motorhome with thousands of gallons of feces April 10, 2015, kidnapped my cats and have been one at a time returning the heads of my cats.

Since I got beaten up by this weird so-called author, November 14, 2013, still no clue who she is, but she left me paralyzed for 5 months, during which time she hacked my KBoards account, my NaNoWriMo account, my website, my FaceBook, my Twitter, and other places, pretending to be me and written horrible stuff via my accounts. Then she created 52 fake Amazon accounts and left 52 fake and completely identical 1 star reviews on every one of my books.

I was paralyzed 5 months, relearning to walk 18 months... and I was offline for a full 3 years, and had no clue this woman had taken over all my online accounts or had done any of these things, until 2015. :( .

I'm crippled for the rest of my life, on a cane with one leg useless, and only have the use of 1 hand now, and permanent damage to my spine.

I used to publish a novel a month... now because of this still unidentified Kboards member, I've got $3million in medical bills, a bomb also blew up my house so living in my car, can barely move, and am lucky if I can get 1 book typed up a year. So frustrating. 

It's been 4 years and I'm still in physical therapy, and it's a good day if I can stand up, let alone walk. Had to cancel the 2015-2018 book signing tour, and had to cancel all the monthly book releases from November 2013 to who knows when... still all canceled and we are closing in on 2018 now.

The Kboards hacker crushed my spine, my hip, my pelvis, and my knee. Tore up all the nerves and muscles. Got a $40million lawsuit waiting for when the FBI finally identifies who the Kboards hacker is.  FBI – Federal Bureau of Investigation  agent's contact info is on my website if you have any info about who it was who hacked my Kboards account 2013 to 2015

They have done similar things to 140 other families in Old Orchard Beach. In the past 4 years they have kidnapped and beheaded more than 500 cats and dogs. They are also wanted in connection to the murders of 3 police officers and 30+ children, as well as the bombing of the First Care Health Clinic on Saco ave in 2003.

This group of terrorists are incredibly dangerous, if they approach you or attack you, flee from them as quickly as possible - they WILL KILL you. 

If you know who did this to my car, please call the FBI Agent in charge of the case to turn them in:

Please Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322  

More information about this psychopathic, criminally deranged NaNoWriMo ML & her violent "street team" can be found 

1. HERE and 
2. HERE and 
3. HERE and 
4. HERE and 
5. HERE and 
6. HERE and 
7. HERE and 
8. HERE and 
9. HERE and 
10. HERE and 
11. HERE and 
12. HERE and 
13. HERE and 
14. HERE.

Have You Seen These Kidnapped Cats?

3 of the 15 Pidgie Fund Cats Have Been Murdered

2 Have Been Found & Returned

These 10 Are Still Missing

If You Know Where They are
Please Bring Them Home

If You Know Who Is 
Holding Them Hostage

Please Call FBI Agent 
Andy Drewer 
@ (207) 774-9322  

More Information 

I'm a woman who has had 7 miscarriages, and wears "elaborate clothes". Because I have no children, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, beat me up, calling me a transsexual, claiming only a man would dress like I do, claiming that the reason I have no children is because I'm not really female.

They left me paralyzed and crippled. 

They crushed my hips, my pelvis, and my spine, and took away, what little chance I had to carry a pregnancy to full term.

I'm crippled for the rest of my life. I can barely walk now. It's why I'm now on a cane. Any hope I had of having children is gone now.

That's the reality, of the gay hatred of this town. 

I am a straight female. I have Autism. I wear pink. I wear glitter. I talk with a "funny gay sounding voice".

Acording to the people in this towm:

I walk like a fag...

talk like a fag...

dress like a fag...

act like a fag...

and therefor must be treated like a fag...

I need to be taught my place...

I deserve to be shot in the head...

I look gay, and therefore I must be, 

because no one but gay men, talk in this voice

no one but gay men wear pink

no one but gay men wear glitter

no one but gay men prance instead of walk...

so they beat me up, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they cut my car in half, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they put a bomb in my house, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they filled my motorhome with feces, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they kidnapped my cats, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

they drove a back hoe over my house, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach - even though I'm a straight female, nothing close to being gay

they cut my cats heads off and nailed their heads to my door, because I'm "too gay" for Old Orchard Beach

because I have Autism

and that makes me "too gay for the family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"

I used to dance when I walked... but after 5 months paralyzed, 18 months relearning to walk, and now 4 years later, my leg is lame and I am crippled, barely able to stand, dragging a lame leg, I'll never dance again.

Do you know what that's like?

Can you even begin to imagine?

To be an Autistic person, who can no longer dance when I walk?

They hate gay men so much, that they are willing to beat up a childless autistic women, in ill health, accusing her of being a transvestite.

Because these evil people took away my ability to have children, I had cats; but they took my cats, and cut off their heads, and nailed them to my door.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach. The gay-hating capital of Maine.

Where residents try to murder crippled, elderly, straight women, accusing them of being gay.

This is the reality of how Autistics are seen by the world.

This is the reality of how Autistics are treated by "normal" people.

This is the reality of being transgender in Old Orchard Beach.

This is the reality of what bullies do to someone with mental illnesses, they do not understand.

This is the reality of living with Autism.

Find out more here.

1. HERE and 
2. HERE and 
3. HERE and 
4. HERE and 
5. HERE and 
6. HERE and 
7. HERE and 
8. HERE and 
9. HERE and 
10. HERE and 
11. HERE and 
12. HERE and 
13. HERE and 
14. HERE.

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Do You Know The Identity of
the People Who Did These Things?
Have Information? 
Please Call FBI Agent 
Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322  

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