Before & After Damages Done To The Dazzling Razzberry aka The Autism Awareness Car
What Happened To The Dazzling RazzBerry?
The answer is a vicious streamer on Twitch took to spreading maliciously slanderous sex rumors and lies about me, convincing people that I was what she termed: "A BDSM Dominatrix" Me, a 5th Generation Mormon Turned Voodoo Priestess Rank of Marija Loa! An asexual nun living a celibate life!
| A Look At What Happens When So-Called "Pranksters"
Take Their Twitch Chat & DisCord Sex-Jokes Too Far
How The Avallac'h Playthrough changed my life, caused the destruction of The Dazzling Razzberry Autism Awareness Car, made 28 families homeless, caused the death of a 10 year old
Including a detailed look inside what news media said was "The Worst Child Abuse Case In American History", more info about Etiole, and how growing up in a child sex slavery ring caused my to start The Avallac'h Playthrough - [NSFW] |
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City of The Slushies | Chapter 14 | Quaraun The Insane (The PortCon Maine 2017 Novel)
GhoulSpawn glanced down at Quaraun. The Elf had not yet gotten back up and GhoulSpawn wondered if he was even going to.
"I'm fine," Quaraun muttered.
"What just happened?"
"I used the wrong wand."
"Yes. Happens frequently."
"You're an idiot."
"How the hell did you get to be the most powerful wizard on the planet?"
"I killed Gibedon."
"So? Any body could have done that."
"He was the most powerful wizard on the planet."
"Is that really the only reason people are scared of you?"
"Apparently. I can't think of any other reason."
"I'm more powerful then you."
"You're bigger then me."
"Size has nothing to do with it."
"You're stronger then me."
"Everyone's stronger then you. You're a whimp."
"You're not even a wizard."
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"I'm a Chaos Wizard."
"You're an Alchemist."
"I'm that too. I'm also a scientist. I was also born in 1974 and I'm stuck here with you in 14 whatever the hell year this is!"
"I remember it once being 1458."
"And how long ago was that?"
Quaraun silently thought for a moment.
"Three hundred years ago?"
"If it was 300 years ago, this would be the 1700s and this is most certainly not the 1700s."
"I don't know. I can't count."
"You can't count?"
"I don't know maths."
"You're the world's most powerful wizard and you can't do math?"
"How do you do anything with magic, without math?"
"You don't need maths for magic."
"Yes you do."
"No you don't. I've never used it."
"That would be why your wand just blew up in your face. Math would have solved the problem. Using the correct equations, prevents things like this from happening."
"No. Not reaching into my bag blindly and pulling out the wrong wand, prevents things like this from happening."
"Are you gonna get back up?"
"It's quite comfortable down here."
"How are you the world's most powerful wizard?"
"You already asked that."
"And you gave me a stupid answer."
"I gave you the correct answer. And I never said I was a powerful wizard. I don't use magic often. I try to avoid using magic."
"That's for sure."
"You're a wizard, why don't you use magic more often?"
"Because I'm trying to keep a low profile. I don't exactly belong here in the 1400s and every thing I do while I'm here changes history, which I'm trying not to do."
Quaraun didn't answer. GhoulSpawn looked to Unicorn, hoping he'd say something useful, but he was just standing there grinning and holding back some secret thing he found to laugh about.
"What's your problem?" GhoulSpawn asked.
"It bemuses me dat whole fucking world is scared shitless of me sissy of an Elf here."
"Is he really the most powerful wizard in the world?"
"Aye. Him is."
"And he does things like this?"
GhoulSpawn pointed an accusing finger at the fallen Elf.
"Aye. Him stupid Elf."
Quaraun the Moon Elf Wizard aka The Pink Necromancer CosPlay
"I'm not stupid," Quaraun said. "And I am the most powerful wizard out there."
"He's more powerful then you!" GhoulSpawn yelled at Quaraun and pointed to Unicorn
"Course I is," Unicorn answered. "I Elf Eater of Pepper Valley."
"You just said he was..."
"Him have more magic ability dan any one I ever knows. I is most powerful wizard world ever knew. I held dat title for centuries. Him come along un trap me in spell binding me too him. Now I can no use me magic. I must wait for him to give me permision to do magic. Him has power to contain me un no lets me use me magic no more. Him world most powerful wizard. Him stupid, eejit, clutz, but him very powerful stupid, eejit clutz."
Unicorn pointed to the blackened bunrt up, slime bubbling on the ground.
"Besides, him did what him set out to do. Even if him did do it wrong un it backfired in his face. Slimes is dead. So why ya complain?"
"Why do I complain? Oh I don't know, let me think... there's a hoard of pink feathered, zombie turkeys terrorizing Quebec..."
"I didn't mean to do that," Quaraun said.
"I know. That's my point. You're not the world's most powerful wizard, you're the world's most bumbling wizard. And I'm the one stuck with flying, pink finned, Elf eating goldfish following me every where I go. Hiding in clouds and trees, waiting to eat me like damned piranhas!"
"I'm sorry. I was resurrecting a flock of dead butterflies. I'm not sure how they turned into fish or why they latched on to following you."
"And, that's my point. You can't get your damned spells right. EVER!"
"The slimes are dead."
"Yes... only because of an error on your part." GhoulSpawn turned to Unicorn. "How do they rank wizards around here?"
"Ya mean here in Slushiville?" Unicorns asked.
"No. You know what I meant," GhoulSpawn yelled at Unicorn. "Stop trying to be stupid. You are are not stupid. Him? He's stupid. He's practically retarded. You? You're not. You have an intelligence like I don't know what. You are an evil mastermind, hell bent on destroying everything. You prance around all cute and cuddly to deceive people. You just pretend to be stupid because you're a deviated sneak, always plotting something up your sleeve..."
"Harvey?" Unicorn pulled a snarling, long toothed, vampire rabbit out of his sleeve and handed it to GhoulSpawn.
"Why are you trying to drive me crazy?"
"Ain't ya name GhoulSpawn de Crazed?"
"That is not my name!" GhoulSpawn was now yelling hysterically. "I don't have a name! I'm a half-Elf. No one thought I was worthy of being given a damned name!"
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"So what! You got the worst potty mouth I've ever seen."
"Aye. I knows it. But ya does no swear. I t'inks I hit a nerve, if I can gets moral, unright, standing yis to swear."
"We are supposed to be looking for a portal out of this god forsaken place..."
"I t'inks dey got too much god here."
"...and he's laying on the ground..." GhoulSpawn pointed at Quaraun again.
"So, why don't you try to get him up?"
"Does ya know how hard it be to gets him ta stop walking un lays down?"
Unicorn sat down beside Quaraun.
"We can do wid a break."
"A break? HERE?"
"What wrong wid here?"
"We were just attacked by slimes."
"Aye. Un we gots world's most powerful wizard here to save up from them."
"He killed the slimes."
"Only by accident. Because he's an idiot!"
"I'm right here, you know," Quaraun said.
"SHUT UP!" GhoulSpawn yelled. He turned back to Unicorn. "Are you really under his control?"
"Aye. I is. I Lich. I dead t'ing. Him Necromancer."
"You're King Gwallmaiic."
"You're the Elf eater of Pepper Valley, Leader of the Lich Lords. Murderer of millions. You terrorized the world for 2,000 years."
"Aye. And now I slave to him."
"Him wicked much powerful wizard. Un I can tells ya why him does no use de magic much. It on 'count of it weaken him. It why him nay get back up yet. Him 'feared him will faint iffy he stand. When him pass out, de on me weaken. Iffy I were to fight it den, I could break free. I could kills him in hims sleep. Un go back to being de terror of de planet. Him does no much use magic to fight t'ings, 'causing him uses so much magic all day long, every day, just to keep me contained in a spell binding me to him, sos I can no hurt no one no more. Him is Lich Hunter un I is Lich dat can no die, sos him protecting de world, by keeping me contained, at huge physical sacrifice to hims own health. It why him so weak un sickly all de time. It wicked big spell him is casting to keep me bound to him. It killing him un him knows it. Dat him laying on ground now. Him is no fine. Him hurting. I can feel it. Him feels like him being torn apart, 'cause him tried to cast big spell on slimes, wid out taking big spell off me. Dat why him spells go wrong. Him can'na take focus off big spell on me to focus properly on ot'er spells."
BoomFuzzy the Undead Unicorn CosPlay
"You're his prisoner?"
GhoulSpawn fell silent. He looked very scared. He watched Quaraun laying on the ground, not moving, not trying to get up. Then he looked back at the demonically, evil undead Phooka, sitting beside the fallen wizard and grinning minacilly.
"What would happen if the spell broke and you got free?"
"A Lich has no soul. No feelings. No emotions. No compassion. We feel not love not hate. We is just empty. Black holes into abyss. Desperate to regain feeling. Living only for de desire to have again, what we had in life. Killing every living t'ing which has, what we have no more. I only feel love for him, because he cut his soul in half un put half of it in me. I feel what he feels. He projects his emotions into me, that I may feel again, what I felt in life. He loved BoomFuzzy. De man I was, when I were alive. BoomFuzzy is dead now. I am de shadow, which followed him in life. T'at all a Lich is. Not de body. Not de soul. Just de shadow. If de spell broke. I go back to being empty shadow. Feeling nothing un sucking de life out of every living t'ing I touch, wit'er I want to or not."
"He's killing himself to sve the world from you."
"No. Him tore me soul from de darkest depths of Hell un keeping me shadow wid him, while him look for way to properly restore de life to his beloved BoomFuzzy. Him care not'ing for de world. Him woulds destroy de world if him thought it would bring me back to life. Him far more powerful t'an ya realize, un far more dangerous t'an ya could ever imagine. Everyt'ing un every one on t'is planet expendable, in hims pursuit to restore life to his BoomFuzzy."
"But you're right here. How are you not alive?"
"I undead. I cold dead t'ing wid no life in me. Cut off me head un keep on talking. I golem made of ice. I not real flesh. De real body of BoomFuzzy is carefully tucked away, waiting to be resurrected, to be reunited with this part of me here, dat speak to ya."
More BoomFuzzy The Unicorn CosPlay
this chapter is still being written.... this page will be updated when more of this chapter is available
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Volume 59: The City of the Slushies
Quaraun and Unicorn wake up in a frozen desert, with no knowledge of where they are and memory of how they got there.
Assuming that they have once again been sucked out of their own time and space by yet another of GhoulSpawn's unstable portals, the two wizards set off to find a way back home, and come across a strange isolated Human city, where a squid-headed priest controls all the water sources, forcing people to worship his god or die of thirst.
Slush Master Bazooloo of the 8 Arms has brainwashed the citizens to depend upon the magical properties of the life giving slushies. Generations have passed since the last Human saw a natural water source, and with Bazooloo handing out Slushies only to those he deems worthy of living, the citizens have divided off into sects, each controlled by their devotion to one flavour of slushie.
When Unicorn shows the people how to make their own slushies and introducing new never before seen flavors, disrupting the belief in the mythical 9th flavour, he is seen by some as the Slush God whose coming was foretold and by others as a heretic sent by the evil Slush Maid to destroy Bazooloo's reign.
We interrupt this novel to bring you: Twerking Dragons! (Twerking Dragons, coming soon to a City of Slush near you.)
NOTE: These are not finalized chapters.
What you are seeing here is the unedited first draft as it is being written. The published version may be vastly different.
Expect what is seen here to change, be added to, and expanded upon during the editing and revision process.
Some parts may read awkward, as a simple sentence may be being used as a "place card" for an entire scene. The sentence will later be changed to a full scene in the published version.
The premise of this story was created in a brainstorm session workshop at PortCon Maine 2017, in a panel called "Foundations of Worldbuilding" by Brett Pierce.
A group of about 60 people collaborated to create the basic structure on which this story was built.
Thank you to everyone who was part of this workshop and helped to create this portal world for Quaraun and Unicorn to visit!
I was in a 1-hour writing workshop last month and we were given the challenge to write a story based of a set of ideas that the group made together. The idea was to come up with a theocracy that was not evil and did not involve the worship of a deity.
In the end, we agreed to write this:
A Fantasy set in an isolated city in a frozen desert, where the people worship slushies, and the leader is a slushie seller who has been elevated to god-statues by the people due to their belief that magic slushies are sacred objects. While the Slush Master himself rules his theocracy peacefully, the members themselves have divided off into sects, each sect worshiping a different flavour slushie and shunning anyone who worships any other flavour. 8 flavours exist, but a mythical 9th flavour is said to soon be coming to save humanity. People in the surrounding countries refuse to do business with them, believing them to be insane, resulting in their complete and total lack of any trade or merchants.
I don't know if anyone else in the group has actually gone on to write a story based off this idea or not, but me, I'm 7 chapters into writing a novel based off this idea. It's fun to write because it goes against a lot of the norms you see in a fantasy theocracy.
The world I'm dropping the story into is one I've already got several volumes published for.
The government system of the region is basically a group of wealthy, pompous bigot magic users (think, Ku Klux Klan, if they were Elf Wizards) who've declared every one who practices any form of magic (and you'd be surprised what they consider "magic" to be - like 1500s witch hunters they can "see" "magic" in everything, so long as it serves their purpose) without their permission, to be a traitor and must be executed. They started out as a wizarding guild, but then they killed off all the other guilds are are the only guild left (thus people refer to them simply as "The Guild"), they went on to over throw the government (a quasi-clanish-tribal-monarchy system) and declare themselves the law of the land.
I'm not sure what type of government you would call it - it's kind of like gangsters of the 1920s, where big bullies who can out bully the other bullies end up in power. Basically they are a gang style terrorist group that is slowly taking over all the governments.
They rule things similar to the Vogan in Hitchhiker's Guide, where they have documents and papers for everything and won't allow anyone to make a move without long lists of paperwork approvals and people who don't get the proper permits for something are executed. They are kind of terrorist/gangster/bureaucrats who are Elf wizards and basically want all none Elves dead ad all wizards who are not them dead because they don't want the competition.
So, tossing a wacky slushie worshiping theocracy into the mix... I don't know how the Guild is gonna react to that. They are used to overthrowing small "tribal" monarchies (not medieval style monarchies of kings in castles; rather I based them off the small clan kings of ancient pre-Celtic Scotland, which were very tribal). This'll be my first time writing them vs a theocracy and it ain't a traditional theocracy.
I have no plot, plan, or outline so no clue how this story is gonna end up going.
okay.... so according to this: https://www.pinterest.de/pin/305611524690656094/ (see image embedded below)
what I just described is a type of government known as a "Junta"
Junta: A group that takes control of the state after overthrowing the government by force.
Cool. Now I have a name for what type of government The Guild is.
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I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.
The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.
Phrases he yells from the truck include:
"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"
"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"
if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"
He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"
My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autism - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalized several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.
After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here: https://youtu.be/NUebzJ9sz9U and here: https://youtu.be/C4dZbgG-Smw
This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.
As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.
If You Like The Quaraun Series You Might Also Like:
Writing Resources I Use When Writing The Quaraun Books: