Readers' Imaginations Seeing Things I Didn't Write In Twighlight Manor & Quaraun 



Reader's With Wild Imaginations
Seeing Things I Didn't Write.

Readers, seeing Quaraun as 15 Years Old, when he's 750 and described as being compared to a 90 year old Human...

>>>I just realized Quaraun is an older man. I thought he was a kid. The way you write him, he acts like a child. I thought he was 15 at most, but I saw you mention him as elderly on Twitch and going back I reread the book and, now I see he's supposed to be in his 90's. I am having a hard time seeing someone his age siting on the ground screaming and throwing a temper tantrum because he got wet.

>>>I just realized Quaraun is an older man. I thought he was a kid. The way you write him, he acts like a child. I thought he was 15 at most, but I saw you mention him as elderly on Twitch and going back I reread the book and, now I see he's supposed to be in his 90's. I am having a hard time seeing someone his age siting on the ground screaming and throwing a temper tantrum because he got wet.



You should watch a few of my dog walking vlogs. Pay attention to my husband... the 72-year-old man walking with me and my dog, in those vlogs.

I’ll wait for you to go watch them.

Doesn’t matter which one.

There are more than 2,000 of them, which feature him, 

>>>siting on the ground screaming and throwing a temper tantrum because he got wet.

...because it rained on him, because he almost but not quite stepped in a puddle and didn’t get wet but could have, because he saw dog poop, because he thought it might rain, because there was a rock across the street that he could trip over had he been over there even though he wasn’t, or...

... because someone might spill milk on him from an upstairs window... WHY is someone going to throw milk out the window I ask... he has a million and one reasons how and why, milk could, might, possibly, maybe fall out the window, hit him on the head, and send him to the hospital in a coma, and the very thought of his is enough to make him self talk himself into a frenzy, resulting in him sitting on the sidewalk, shrieking at the top of his lungs that he’s going to die being killed by a bottle of milk falling out the window and he can’t move, because we are on the sidewalk between two houses that have upstairs balconies over the sidewalk and might, maybe, could be, possibly be someone up there waiting to toss a bowl of milk out into the street, so, he’s going to sit on the side walk, screaming like a fucking 2-year-old, while me and my dog stand there wondering how the hell did he just go from walking the dog like a normal person, to sitting on the sidewalk screaming about death by milk while having a major melt down panic attack.

...meanwhile, on Twitch, because, you know, I livestream dog walking, my chat is going insane bullying him and making fun of him, because, yeah, he’s having a total conniption in the middle of the sidewalk, now he’s laying on his back, just letting out a single long scream that will continue until he passes out...

... did I mention my husband is 72 years old? And in the past 9 years that he’s decided to join me in walking my dog, he’s done this in more than 2,000 livestreams?

Have I also mentioned that Quaraun’s panic attacks and paranoias, irrational fears, and childlike temper tantrums are all straight up me going back to watch the VODs and writing down verbatim word-for-word everything Ben says and does when he has these meltdowns?

A lot of Quaraun’s actions and dialogue (a good 90%) is straight up me just writing down the things Ben does and says every day.

Ben has always acted like this. We’ve been together since he was 37, and he’s a challenge to live with because he DOES act like a very young toddler.

As a child, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Most of his life the general public has pointed and laughed and called him either retarded or insane, in his 50’s he was re-diagnosed as “severely Autistic”.

Quaraun has Autism. ACTUAL Autism. Not Asperger’s. 

Autism is thought of as a childhood illness... but it doesn’t go away just because the person turns 18. It stays with them their whole life.

In novels, you ALWAYS see Autistic characters as ONLY children. you never see them as adults.

You see the tantrums in child characters, but these writers, don’t understand Autism because they don’t have it and they know anyone who has it, so they think it’s just a child having a temper tantrum and assume at around 8 years old, it’ll go away. It doesn’t.

Now that that person, make them 70 years old and add on top of Autism, Alzheimer’s. 

I’ve lived with Ben’s irrational paranoias and public temper tantrums for 40+ years, so I’m used to it, but now he also has Alzheimer’s and child like nature is worse than ever before, as not one but now 2 mentally debilitating brain disorders cause him to be very child like and act like a 2-year-old more than ever.

Quaraun has Autism. ACTUAL Autism. Not Asperger’s. He also has Alzheimer’s.

And everything you see Quaraun do, if you watch my dog walking videos, you’ll see Ben doing them too.

Readers seeing the world as Medieval Europe, when it's actual 800 A.D. Maritime Region, specifically: Ivujivik, Quebec & Old Orchard Beach, Maine

>>>Setting. I'm writing a fantasy story that I know I don't want to base on medieval times (knights, tourneys) but I don't know whether to base it off early AD and late BCE, where it would be more Roman, or based off the revolutionary era with new art, science, gunpowder, cannons are recently made, and inventions that I make up myself

If it was me, I'd definitely go the Revolutionary War era, just because, I'd want to write my character getting to meet Benjamin Franklin. Weird reasoning, perhaps, but, that's what I'd do. He's just a person I'd want to meet if I had a time machine and could go meet someone. So, my mind would go: "I must write the Revolution era, and make my MC bump into Ben Franklin in town somewhere."

When it came to studying history, I got bored with Rome. I think because of the textbook I was reading was focused more of politics than on culture. If it had focused on Roman culture, I'd probably gotten heavily interested in Rome. 

But either way, sounds good. I'd read Fantasy novels set in either era. I love Fantasy that steps away from Medieval Europe. 

I would say write it whatever way speaks to you the most, but than, I would also add that in the end, readers will not see the setting as anything other than Medieval no matter what you write.

The series I write is set 800AD in Ivujivik (pre-Canada). Elf wizards in a "Native American/Inuit" setting. Oddly, most readers, tell me they read several volumes into the series before it occurs to them to think that the series is NOT 1400s Europe. 

Well, when I was first hearing them saying this, I thought maybe I wrote something wrong? Was I too vague with the setting? Did I mention things that implied medieval without realizing I had mentioned them?

No. Turns out, readers came right out and said they were aware the setting, but they just choose to ignore it and think of the story taking place in a Tolkien like setting instead.

I've talked about this with them on the FB group I have for the series, and it was discovered, that even though the setting is described: the meters deep of snow the huge pine forests, the extreme lack of anything even remotely "modern/medieval", the use of actual Inuit/Native American location names (most of the story takes place in real world Ivujivik, for example), the use of real world Inuit/Native American folklore and mythical creatures from the Quebec/Labrador region... with all of that, the readers STILL imagine the series set in 1400s Europe, and when the FB group got together to discuses this topic, most all of them agreed, that BECAUSE the series is sold as "Fantasy" they just assumed "Tolkien world" BEFORE they even bought the books let alone before they started reading them, and so even when they saw the descriptions in the novels they just shrugged it off and went "Eh, I saw 1400's Europe in my brain before I started reading, I'm sticking with it."

It's weird, because they acknowledge that they recognized this as 800AD pre-Canada and heavily Inuit/Native American Elf mages, but they said, they just couldn't imagine Elves as anything other than Tolkien era, so even though they knew it was not Medieval nd not Europe, they went ahead and imagined it as Medieval Europe anyways, just because their mind defaulted Elf Wizards to automatically = 1400s Europe.

This lead to them asking the question: "Wait, are there any white people in your novels?"... uhm..no... It's set in a time and place that would not be discovered by white people for another 700 years. There are only brown, darker brown, and even more dark brown people in it. Readers on the FB group than started pointing out that they even noticed the characters were described as tan or dark or brown skinned, but also chose to ignore that ad think of the characters as white... in the 800AD Inuit village of Ivujivik.

Further discussion on the FB group, led to other things being brought up... like the main character being described as dressing in fur pelts of bear and moose skins, while the readers admitted to imagining him wearing "French fashions, hose and codpiece and houplandree" - all items not mentioned in the novels nor invented yet in 800AD, let alone in Native American/Inuit tribes of Canada's arctic tundra.

And then came the comment when someone said: "Wait arctic tundra... does that mean the story is set like near the North Pole."... uhm... duh! Did you not look were Ivujivik is on the map? Google the town of Ivujivik, Quebec. Yes. It IS up near the North Pole. It's the most northernmost town in Canada! The readers in the discussion, suddenly started asking stuff like: "Wait you did mention them living in a tent made of skins and using ice blocks to keep out the snow... Are they living in igloos? Do they even have houses? I was imagining this big hamlet full of thatched roof stucco and timber houses, like in Austria and Switzerland in medieval times. Wait, they don't have houses at all do they? How did I miss that?"

This is why I say, just write it whatever way you want it to be, and don't worry about what readers will think, because readers won't acknowledge anything you write anyways.

Readers are going to imagine your story in the setting THEY want it to be in, in the time period THEY want it to be in, with the race/skin THEY want the characters to look like, no matter what you write, so you might as well, just write what YOU want it to be and, forget about worrying what readers want. Readers don't care what you write. They never will. Readers just want a good story that they can drop into their mind-world with their mind-characters.

It was after that AMA with the FB group, that's why I stopped worrying about what readers want. I write the story the way I want it and what readers do with the changes to setting and characters is on them.

So, if you like Rome era best, write it in Rome. If you like Revolution era best, write that. Or, write 2 stories, one in each.

Write the setting you will most enjoy, because when all is said and done, you can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself and just write the book you want to read.


Readers seeing sex where there is none, calling non-erotic books Erotica, and murdering my family on the false accusations of claiming that I the author am transgender because my main character is a transvestite and I CosPlay him at book signings.

...


A look at Maine's Transgender Murders and how my none-trans family came to be among the more than 30 people murdered by Maine's transphobic gay haters in 2015

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!



The Quaraun CosPlay

The BoomFuzzy CosPlay

The Avallac'h CosPlay:

The arm bracers are not accurate to what is seen in the game, instead are accurate to what was described in the novels, leather archer bands, one that double as a holder for potion bottles, the other ink, paper, and quill (Avallac'h is a poet & archer in the novels).
Close-up on the pendent for the Avallac'h CosPlay
The yellow Avallac'h concept art CosPlay
Avallac'h as he appeared in the load screen art
The load-screen Avallac'h CosPlay
close up on belts, seen here on the black concept art version (I have made all 8 concept art versions of the cosplay)





Let's put this front and center, because we seem to need to...

I'm sick and tired of people calling me an Erotica author when I'm not and calling the Quaraun series Erotica, when it's not.

Do you remember the bomb that blew up First Care Health Clinic on Saco Ave, in Old Orchard Beach, Maine in 2003, killing my doctor, 3 nurses, and 21 patients, next door to the Jameson Kindergarten School almost killing 750 children, every 4 to 8 year old child in Old Orchard Beach at the same time?

Let's talk about that bomb. And the one in 2006 that blew up my house 144 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, and the bomb in 2013 under my desk at Southern Maine Community College and the bomb in my department at Scarborough WalMart in 2015 and 2016, and the murder of my children April 10, 2015, 10 of whom their heads were cut off and nailed to my door.

Let's look at how those murders and bombs of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, came to happen, because one psychotic gay-hater got into her head that I wrote Erotica and she had to kill me and my family and every I knew because of it.



People say this is an issue of politics.

No. It isn't. It's an issue of evil people being evil. Nothing more and nothing less.

I think it doesn't matter if the author adds politics or not, because, readers are going to see what they want to see. 

I mean, here's some examples:

I have a main character who appears in a series, and, when readers get to volume 22 - twenty-two volumes into the series - is when they notice for the first time that he is black, even though there are 5,678 instances of him being outright CALLED "black" in volumes 1 to 21 (I checked) because a racist beats him up while calling him the N-word in a scene in that novel. I have received more than 2,000 hate emails for that scene, and at first, you might think the hate was because the book uses the N-word. No. Every one of those 2,000+ hate emails, tell me that I ought to be ashamed of myself for stooping so low as to put a black character in my novels, because no sane white person would write a black character, according to the emails, which went on to call me such things as "a N-lover" and they said I was a disgrace to my race, that I ought to be ashamed to be white  ... but, here's the thing: I'm not white and that character in question, is the exact same mix of 4 races as me: Middle-Eastern/Persian Mountain Jew/Gypsy + Kickapoo/Native American + Haitian/Black + Asian/Mongolian. 

Since the Black Lives Matters movement of 2020, I get emails from people saying I only put a black character in my novels, because of George Floyd, who apparently was a black man and was murdered? I don't know, I haven't had a TV since 1987 so I don't have access to watching the news. Judging from the info in the hate emails, he died rather recently, less than a year ago. ... and yet, I've not published a new novel since 2014. My family was murdered shortly after the release of BoomFuzzy and I've written anything since. I was in the middle of writing Summoner or Darkness when my family was murdered. I didn't finish because of the murders and I've not worked on anything new since. But, these hate emails, are making the claim, that the 138 novels I wrote between 1978 and 2014, I wrote them BECAUSE of a black man who was murdered in 2020, 6 years after my last novel was published?

Yeah. Do you see anything a little bit odd? Like the fact the creation of this fictional black character is nearing a 50th anniversary and the guy they are say I created him for, died less than a year ago?

It's called readers are stupid, can't be bothered to look at publication dates, see whatever the hell they WANT to see, no matter what we write. Those people, those recent emails, they had the Black Lives Matter movement so in their heads, that they couldn't even see that the publication date was 40 years ago and the Black Lives Matter organization didn't exist at the time the book was published. 

They were just white power fanatics who just ran around looking for any novels that had black main characters, so they could have an excuse to write outrage in emails, to authors, they thought were white, to tell those supposedly white authors to stop writing black characters just because of the BLM Riots. But... in their gung-ho to do so, they forgot to look at the publication dates, or find out what race the author was.

So you have people who went looking for white authors who wrote black characters since the BLM movement started, but they didn't look at the publication dates or find out what color the author was.

And than you have people who read the series for a long time before realizing the character was black, and telling me I should be ashamed of myself for being white and writing back people, because black people shouldn't be in novels and we whites have to look out for each other... but... I'm nt white. They forgot to find out what colour the author was.

Somehow not only did they get it into their heads that the character was white, but they also convinced themselves that I the author was white. There was nothing political about that character or the story or why I made him the race I did. I just wrote him the same race as me.  There was no political theme or motive behind it at all, but readers MADE it political in their own minds. They got offended and triggered, and had political ravings and rantings over it, because they couldn't fathom the fact that a non-white character could possibly exist in a novel any more that they could fathom that a non-white person could read or write.

That book with the N-word was published in 2014, and I started getting those hate emails in 2016 and still get them.

But here's the thing... those readers, THEY had an anti-black political agenda,  so they SAW a pro-black political agenda, where there was no agenda at all. 

I'm not white, I wouldn't know the first thing about writing white culture or white lifestyle, so why would I write white characters? I write what I know. I know what it is to be mixed blood and have a multi-culture family, so that's what I wrote. There's no pro-color agenda, I just wrote a character the same race as myself, because I know what it like to be that race.

Readers with race agendas and race politics saw race agendas and race politics in my books because that is what they WANTED to see.

Now let's look at something else... the bigger issue, also not political, but watch what readers did...

When I was a small child, my grandmother was friends with a young couple. She took me to visit them weekly. They owned a tiny little "mom&pop shop", sort of like a convenience store, but it didn't have food. It had odds and ends, tools, cards, trinkets, basically a little junk store for tourists (we live on a beach in a tourist resort town) and we shopped there. We shopped there a few times a week. My parents. They were so in love, the couple who owned this store. You could see that. Always smiling and laughing, hugging, kissing. I can't remember ever seeing one without the other. Than one day, one of them was murdered, and the one left behind was devastated. After that just sat at the back of the store despondent. Commit suicide in the store, a year later on the anniversary of the murder, I was there, saw it happen. 

I was 12 years old. 

It was the 1970s. 

What happened to them, stuck in my head, I still have nightmare about it to this day 50 years later. It's why I started writing. I published my first novel while I was still just 12 years old, just a few weeks later, and it was inspired by them. 

Today, 50 years, 138 novels, and 2,000 short stories later, I still write same series about that same couple. I was 14 years old when I started receiving death threats. I didn't know why. Hate mail, started pouring in. I was just a child, I couldn't understand half the words the letters were saying. Words I'd never heard before: fag, sodomy, gay. It was years, before I realized what those words meant. 

Angry adults were sending death threats to a child (me) over a political issue, that I'd never even heard of, over books I wrote about a happy couple very much in love, based off a very real couple, I knew in real life. 

It wasn't until the 1990s, nearly 20 years later, that found out what gay meant. 

I had no clue that the couple I was writing was gay. I had no concept of what gay meant at all.

I found out later what happened: They'd been being harassed quite a lot, their store, their house, their car vandalized, they'd both been beaten up several times. The one who was murdered, he'd been beaten to death, head bashed in with a baseball bat because he was gay. No other reason. He was man in love with a man.

I never noticed that. As a child, they were just another couple who lived near-by. I never noticed they were both men and that, there were no other couples in our town that were both men. Even after writing dozens of novels featuring a couple that was both men, it never occurred to me that that was odd or different or unusual. They were just 2 people in love. I did not see them as being different from any other couple in our town.

And to this day, I still get on average 700 death threats DAILY, from people outraged, that the main character of my novels are a gay couple.

I get on average 2,000 to 5,000 hate emails EACH WEEK from outraged self proclaimed "right-wingers" who call me things like "Woke" and "fag lover" and "one of those jackass gay rights activists" and make the claim that I only write a gay couple because being gay is the trendy fad of the past few years. Funny thing, if they took the time to look at the publication date of a lot of those novels and crossed referenced it with my age, they'd see most of them were published in the 1970s before I was even 14 years old. And had they actually read the novels, they'd also see that the word "gay" never appears, because I'd never even heard of it before the hate letters from readers arrived.

There is nothing political about what I write. It's 2 Elf wizards, traveling, having adventures, and living together. They are male. There are scenes of them hugging and kissing.  And readers make of that what they want too. The stories don't focus on the fact that they are a gay couple, in fact you could easily read it as them, just being 2 friends. The story never calls them gay. 

I've had readers ASK me if they were a gay couple or if they were just 2 good friends, because they weren't sure, because it never says. And yet at the same time, I get tens of thousands of anti-gay hate letters and hate emails and death threats every year, from people who just outright hate gay people and automatically see the 2 main characters as gay, even though, the series never says they are and other readers have not been sure.

Haters CLAIM my books are nothing but gay right politics, promoting gay agendas, and pushing gay culture onto innocent young minds. And yet, there are no gay rights politics in my novels, I'm not promoting gay agendas, and I'm not trying to push anything on anyone.

The fact of the matter is, THOSE READERS THEMSELVES, have an anti-gay agenda, so they SEE gay right politics, where there are none. 

THOSE READERS THEMSELVES, have an anti-gay agenda, so they SEE books as promoting gay agendas, when they are not.

THOSE READERS THEMSELVES, have an anti-gay agenda, so they SEE authors as pushing gay culture on others, even when that author is a 12 year old child who never heard the word gay before and didn't know what it meant.

The fact is, readers are going to see what they WANT to see, wither the author put it there or not.

Readers will MAKE things political, even when the author didn't.

Readers will look for themes and hidden messages, even when the author was a 12 year old child who just wrote for the fun of telling a fun adventure story of 2 Elf wizards battling dragons, and had no clue it was even possible to put messages in a novel.

It doesn't matter what an author writes, if the reader has an agenda, they will FORCE THEIR agenda into our books, no matter what your book is, because they, THEY are looking for pick a fight with anyone and everyone.

We authors have no need to put politics in our novels. Readers will find a myriad of politics hidden in our novels, on issues that we authors didn't even know were issues.

It's what readers do.

No one reads a book for fun or entertainment anymore. Every one just reads books with fine tooth combs looking for reasons to get upset.

Readers are going to see whatever it is they WANT to see, no matter what we write.

I don't write politics. I don't write themes. I don't write hidden messages. I have no agenda. But there are plenty of people who will tell you I do. I write 2 Elf wizards who are very much in love and travel together having adventures, that's it, that really is all it is, and everything else, all the politics and agendas - those aren't mine, those are the politics and agendas of readers who are trying to make my books fit issues THEY are fussing over, so they THINK they see things in my writing, that I never put there at all.

And the fact remains, that outraged gay haters, went to extremes, and on April 10, 2015, murdered my family, over something they THOUGHT I wrote in my books... and I have 728 pages of their witness testimony in court where they say exactly that... they murdered my 10 (ten) children, cut their heads off and nailed their heads to my door (the youngest was 4 and the oldest was 16), over something they THOUGHT I wrote, but that I never wrote at all.

There's the reality of politics for you. Readers think it's okay to murder an author's family, over political issues the author wasn't even writing about.

This isn't a political problem. It's problem of people being too damned stupid to understand what they read, and inserting their own agendas in to works of fiction.

I once had a reader who emailed me to say/ask:

"So, I'm reading Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain. I'm about 100 pages into the book and nothing has happened yet. When does something happen?"

Uhm... it's a Quaraun novel. They are reading volume 5, they are 100 pages in and nothing has happened yet... gee... sooo... did you notice anything happening in volumes 1 through 4?

Let me repeat... they are waiting for something to happen: IN A QUARAUN NOVEL.

They explained that the characters were just walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles...

Can I repeat, that were reading a Quaraun novel, volume 5 of the series, and they waiting for something to happen.

uhm...yeah....that's what the story is about - them lost in a Fairy Forest, wandering aimlessly for miles.

That IS the story.

Quaraun and crew lost in a forest and walking in circles.

Oh wait, what were they reading again?

The Quaraun series.

And what is the Quaraun series about?

A homeless, elderly, suicidal Elf hiking across the planet, trying to find a reason to live, writing in the style of a travel blog.

The Quaraun series is 138 novels, about an old man, doing a bucket list hike around the world before he dies.

The title of their email was:

"So, I'm reading Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain. I'm about 100 pages into the book and nothing has happened yet. When does something happen?"

Inside was a very long email.

This was one of the rare few emails I have ever received, that was not full of hate and raving and ranting.

This one was full of confusion and was an actual, genuine question, as opposed to a self righteous offended snowflake, which is what most emails I receive are.

This email, went on to explain, that the novel had been recommended to them as Erotica, and in fact, had been bought from the Erotica section of Amazon.

Uhm... what?

I went to Amazon and checked, and yep, sure enough it was in the Erotica department. I contacted Amazon, got the usual run around and finally reached and actual person. I explained that I had uploaded the novel into Fantasy and Literary Slice of Life categories, not Erotica, why was it in Erotica?

She checked the records and said that Amazon had moved it to Erotica after it had received several hundred reports of being in the wrong category, with reporters stating that it was Erotica. I explained that the book not only contained no sex or nudity, it also, was about an elderly Elf who was lost alone in the forest, and spent the week sitting by a campfire talking to the ghosts of 5 people whom he had murdered decades earlier. He gets up in the morning and walks the entire day, and that night arrives back at the same campsite where the 5 ghosts are waiting to talk to him again.

This happens 7 times. Each time it happens it takes 2 chapters to tell it. It is literally 14 chapters of him wandering around lost in the forest and always ending up back in the same spot that night, no matter which direction he traveled that day. I asked her, could you get someone to actually READ my novel, to see that it is not Erotica, because it right now has 120 negative 1 star reviews complaining that they bought it thinking it was Erotica, and are angry that it's not. And I didn't put it in Erotica to begin with.

Two weeks later I get an email from Amazon, stating that they had sent copies of my book to their review department and yes ideas, this  most certainly NOT Erotica, not even close. The explained that they have an automated "wrong category" reporting system (this was in 2015, btw, I don't know if they still have that system today in 2021) and if enough users report it and suggest the same category to move it to, the system just automatically changed the category to where users had suggested, and no human checks to see if it should have been moved or not.

They further explained that in the case of this book, it turns out that one single, solitary person, had created 52 separate accounts, specifically to report this book as Erotica, and trigger the system to move it into the Erotica department. They stated that the troll and all of their accounts had been banned as well as banned their ISPN so they couldn't create more accounts.

They then explained that as the 120+ one star reviews had been a result of Amazon's negligence in moving the book to Erotica without having a human read the book first, they also removed all of those particular 1 star reviews from the book. It also turned out that all 52 of those accounts that had made the false claim of my book being Erotica belonged to Kendra Silvermander, yet again. This was not the first time this vicious, vindictive, mystery woman had created lots of fake accounts to attack, nor was it the last.

But, back to the reader whom had alerted me to this situation.

They explained that they had bought the book, thinking it was Erotica, and were puzzled as to why, at 100 pages into the story, there had been no indication of any sort of couple or relationship or sex or sensuality or anything even remotely close to anything one would expect to see in Erotica. The story was literally an old man wandering around lost in the forest, talking to ghosts that were haunting him. Where was the sex? At 100 pages in, there should have been at least 10 sex scenes by now, as standard formula for Erotica is no fewer than 3 sex scenes per chapter. 

Like nearly EVERY VOLUME of all 138 novels in the Quaraun series, The Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain  contained no sex or nudity, and is about an elderly man searching for a reason to not commit suicide while hiking through the forest and talking to the ghosts of people he had murdered in his youth.

The Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain is also one of the more extreme novels, in that it moves in a loop... it literally takes one scenes that is 3,000 words long, and repeats it over and over and over and over and over. It is an elderly Elf who was lost alone in the forest, and spent the week sitting by a campfire talking to the ghosts of 5 people whom he had murdered decades earlier. He gets up in the morning and walks the entire day, and that night arrives back at the same campsite where the 5 ghosts are waiting to talk to him again. This happens 7 times.

Each time it happens it takes 2 chapters to tell it. It is literally 14 chapters of him wandering around lost in the forest and always ending up back in the same spot that night, no matter which direction he traveled that day.

At the start, Quaraun meets a tiny old man, who gives Quaraun food. Each night Quaraun arrives at that same campsite and eats the man's food again. Each chapter is a copy paste of the previous chapter, with only a few sentences changed here and there. On the final day, Quaraun realizes the old man is a Leprechaun and refuses to eat his food. The next morning Quaraun wakes up and the old man and his campsite are gone, and Quaraun is finally able to walk out of the forest without returning back to the same campsite again, finally free of the Leprechauns spell. The End.


That's the entire story.

No sex.

No Erotica. 

But that book got moved to the Erotica department, because for reason this Kendra woman got it stuck in her head that my books were Erotica and she devoted close to 20 years of her life to trying to convince everyone online and offline that my books were Erotica, and to this day, I still don't know why she did it. All I know is, she wet extreme, she's the one who put a bomb in my house in 2006, under my desk at college in 2013, in my department at work in 2015 and again in 2016, and in the waiting room of my doctor's office in 2003 killing my doctor, 3 of his nurses, and 21 patients - if your local - you remember the bomb that killed my doctor at First Care Health Clinic on Saco Ave in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a few feet from the Jameson Kindergarten School - she almost killed every child between the ages of 4 and 8 in Old Orchard Beach as well that day.

So when I say she went to major extremes trying to convince everyone my books were Erotica and that me, my family, and any one I had contact with needed to die because I wrote Erotica, I do mean went to extremes - she almost killed 750+ children, the day she bombed  my doctor's office in 2003 killing my doctor, 3 of his nurses, and 21 patients at First Care Health Clinic on Saco Ave in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, a few feet from the Jameson Kindergarten School, and she would go on to kill my children, cut their heads off and nail their heads to my door in 2015.

And I don't even know who this woman is. I just know the 21,000 emails she has sent me over the years, since 2004, are all signed with the line: "I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my time to shine!" 

Notes left at crime scenes are signed:  "I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my time to shine!" 

Ans when she arrived in person to attack me while I was eating as Panera in 2009, with golf clubs crippling me on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College, and in 2016 at Scarborough WalMart that time breaking my spine with a shopping cart, she was screaming in asing-song chant at the top of her lungs while she attacked:  "I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my time to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my time to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my time to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my time to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine!"

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case. If you have information about the case, know who this woman is, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

So you can start to see, why I get a little bit triggered when someone refers to me as an Erotica author or says my books are Erotica. Because my first instinct is to assume you are someone who is friends with this Kendra woman, otherwise, WHY else would you think my books were Erotica?

"So, I'm reading Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain. I'm about 100 pages into the book and nothing has happened yet. When does something happen?"

Uhm... it's a Quaraun. They are reading volume 5, they are 100 pages in and nothing has happened yet... gee... sooo... did you notice anything happening in volumes 1 through 4?

Let me repeat... they are waiting for something to happen: IN A QUARAUN NOVEL.

They explained that the characters were just walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles...


Walking for miles and talking about what he sees, while he walks, is the ONY THING there is in ALL of the Quaraun novels.

That's what the series is about.

It's an elderly man whom has lost EVERYTHING and EVERY ONE.

His family is dead.

His lover is dead.

His people are dead.

He's the last of his kind.

He's old.

He's sick.

He's homeless.

He's alone.

He has no one.

No friends.

No family.

Everything he owns, he's carrying with him in one bag.

He's depressed.

He's suicidal.

He wants to find a reason to live.

So he is wandering aimlessly on the open road, looking to find something, anything to inspire him to not kill himself.

He walks and he walks and he walks.

It's an old man walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking  for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles...

That IS what the Quaraun series is about.

It's an old man walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking  for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles...

That IS the plot.

It's an old man walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking  for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles...

That IS the story.

It's an old man walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking  for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles...

What else exactly were you expecting to see happen?

The Quaraun series is about a traveler, trekking the open road, and the encounters he meets along the way.

So we (me and this reader) are messaging back and forth about the issue, me wondering what they were expecting to have happen, them confused about what the book was. Pointing out that this volume is #5 of the series, and supposedly they had read the 4 previous volumes ... though I really don't think they did based on their "When does something happen?" question.

:P

LOL!

When does something happen!

ROTFLMAO! LOLOLOLOL!

What was the problem?


It turns out, in addition to having been told the series was Erotica, they THOUGHT the series was going to be an action packed adventure of D&D questing type monster battling, monarchy conquering, wizard dueling, swords clashing, dragon slaying, princess rescuing, gold hoarding type stuff.

They thought this because they had read an article stating that the main character (Quaraun) was one I had played in my local game group for years and the novels were based off the actual game sessions which I had kept notes of for a few decades.

They also mentioned that they had played DnD with a group that had gone on highly sexualized adventures, and that in their gameplay, downtime between adventures at taverns, meant lots of sex and prostitutes.

So, they expected the Quaraun series to be no-stop fighting, between non-stop sex, because when they though DnD, that's what they had done in their game group.

The problem?

They neglected to read the part of the article which stated the series was "slice of life literary fantasy" and told the story of what happened OUTSIDE OF THE GAME... the stuff NOT battles, and monsters and questing, but rather the journey, the traveling, the random stops at taverns and campsites.

They also neglected to pay attention to the fact that, the series is about a super villain, after he is too old to be a super villain any more.

Yes.

Quaraun is evil.

Quaraun is a big, bad, final boss Necromancer, whom was NEVER defeated by any adventuring party that crossed his path.

Quaraun, is the world's most powerful, and only undefeated evil wizard.

Quaraun is invincible, undefeatable, all powerful, and has killed millions.


But now he's old, nearing the end of his life, and looking back on what he's done with regret.

Because he is such and extremely over powered Necromancer, dead things come to life around him, without him even needing to cast and spells. It just happens.

And as he rewalks roads he had walked on in his youth, he's passing the places where he killed people, and when he does, their ghost rises up and starts following him.

He's haunted by the ghosts of people he's killed. But no one else can see them. He's the only one who can see the ghosts, so wen people see him arguing with the ghosts, they only see him and think he's insane and talking to himself.

The whole series, all 130+ volumes of it, every single novel, is the every day life of an elderly wandering vagabond wizard as he just travels the open road.

There are no sword fights, no monster battles, no wizard duels, or anything else remotely action packed in any novel of the series.

There is however, LOTS of traveling and sightseeing, to the point that it reads more like travel fiction.

And I'm constantly saying this. It's not like it's ever hidden or should be a surprise that nothing happens other than a tourist Elf is sightseeing while he hikes.

Quaraun is the main character, a wandering "wizard for hire" so, he's in every story.

In a few stories he's travelling alone.

In many stories he's travelling with 1 or the other or both, of 2 fellow travelling wizards. Usually BoomFuzzy and/or GhoulSpawn.

Some times they meet up with an "adventuring group", a band of hippies, another group of travellers, a migrating family, and will then have 4 or 5 or more characters traveling with him.

Sometimes he'll meet up with a merchant or a caravan or a wagon train or a family just off to visit relatives, and will have a large group of a dozen or more people travelling with him.

So you never know from one novel to the next who he's going to have as traveling companions... it's just whoever he meets on the road who is going the same direction as him.

It's a lot of dialogue. A LOT. Conversations between him and the strangers he meets as they talk about life, the universe, and everything, while they walk along.

That anyone could call the series Erotica is mind boggling on the extreme.

Let's talk of another thing that SHOULD tip you off that these books are NOT Erotica.

The Swamp of Death:

The Swamp of Death appears in many novels. It is a reoccurring "magic location" that can appear at will in any region of the world.

The Swamp of Death exists everywhere and no where at the same time.

It is the place where "lost souls" go after death.

Though some characters describe it as being "Hell" and a place to punish the evil after they die, good people can go there just as equally as bad people.

It is the temporary resting place of people who died violent deaths: murder victims, suicide victims, soldiers who died at war, homeless who starved to death alone and forgotten.

Unlike Heaven and Hell which are places to reward good and punish evil, The Swamp of Death is a place where lost souls go to reflect on their life.

Souls in Heaven live with Angels who serve them, while souls in Hell live with Demons who torture them.

But Souls who go to The Swamp of Death become Ghosts and have the ability to haunt the living, mentally tormenting people who hurt them in life, or emotionally comforting loved ones whom are grieving.

Souls in The Swamp of Death are dead people who can not move forward to either Heaven or Hell, because they have some sort of "unfinished business" that needs resolving before they can move on.

In the novel Quaraun and The Vampire Into The Swamp of Death, the entire novel takes place in The Swamp of Death. In that story, Quaraun has taken several poisons and slit his wrists and dies briefly, before his friends revive him. The entire novel is a "near death experience" where Quaraun finally realizes that the people he's traveling with are all ghosts of people he's murdered in his life. It the story where he finally realizes that he murdered his best friend, which he realizes when he sees her in The Swamp of Death taking care of the 4 children he had murdered years before.


The Swamp of Death is a terrifying place. A vast peat bog, surrounded by acres of quicksand. It is always midnight and always shrouded in thick fog.

Thousand of tombs and grave stones stick up out of the mud. Many of the Lost Souls try to escape the Swamp, only to be sucked down into the quicksand, and wake up the next day, back in the Mournful Lamb Inn, a tavern that sits in the center of the Swamp serving drinks to the dead.

And while this may sound like a place to visit, it is in fact a thing that travelers can encounter on any road, should they become near death.

The Swamp is guarded by sentient pumpkins, who act as "an army of Grim Rippers" gathering dead souls and taking them to the Swamp.

If it is your time to die, the pumpkins will start showing up along road sides, watching you, waiting for your death to happen.

The Swamp and it's Pumpkin Guards appear in almost every Quaraun novel, though sometimes only very briefly, just seen out of the corner of the eye in a quick sentence or two.

While the Swamp is supposed to only take the souls of murder victims, suicide victims, and people who died traumatic deaths, The Swamp is known to stalk lonely travelers, appearing suddenly along side the road. When the traveller moves to get a closer look at the mysterious Swamp, dozens of ghostly hands grab the travelers legs and pull them into the Swamp, drowning them in the quicksand, thus causing the unsuspecting traveller to befall a traumatic death and become yet another soul trapped in the Swamp.

No one knows exactly what The Swamp of Death is, but, some suspect it to actually be a massively huge Mimic or possibly a gigantic Jelly capable of tricking people into thinking it is a swamp, when in fact it is a monster.

In any case The Swamp of Death is many thousands of years old and no one can remember a time when it did not exist and roam the Earth feeding on lost souls.

The Pissed Off Pumpkin Patch:

Common but rarely seen. Grinning, glowing Jack-o-Lantern pumpkins that tumble and roll across the ground, sometimes sprouting bodies and limbs made of vines and leaves, sometimes seen in the form of "living scarecrows", and other times robed in black.

People often describe them as being The Grim Reaper, but no one knows for certain what exactly they are. Sometimes they appear as a long pumpkin sitting on a porch, other times they gather in huge hordes and sit in a field covering massive acres pretending to be a pumpkin patch. Where they are, The Swamp of Death follows, and presumably, they are part of the Swamp's body and not separate limbs. 


The Pissed Off Pumpkin Patch is known to stalk lone travellers, terrorizing them, and chasing them off cliffs or into quicksand.  

The pumpkins are rarely seen by their victims, for the moment you turn to look at them, they instant freeze, and look like ordinary jack-o-lanterns, scarecrows, or pumpkin patches.

The pumpkins appear in almost every Quaraun story, as they follow Quaraun wherever he goes and he is constantly telling people there are pumpkins chasing him, but almost no one believes him and thinks his tales of being chased into swamps by pumpkins are the raving delusions of a madman.

Because Quaraun is a murderer. the ghosts of his murder victims are trapped him the Swamp of Death, and scream for vengeance, thus causing the pumpkins who guard the swamp to constantly chase Quaraun, trying to force him into the Swamp of Death and drown him.

There are frequent scenes of pumpkin vines grabbing Quaraun's arms and legs and dragging him through the forest into the Swamp of Death.

Quaraun, however is a Necromancer with power over the dead and continually escapes the attacks buy the pumpkins and the lost souls of his murder victims.

Now I ask you, does any of this even remotely sound like Erotica to YOU?

How do people call this series Erotica?

How did so many people become so convinced that this series was Erotica, that a mob of over 70 people arrived in my driveway on April 10, 2015, to violently, brutally murder my family, because they were outraged over my books being Erotica?

How?

How does something like this happen?



Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!


I've ignored the sex crazed trolls calling my books Erotica for years...


...but now my family is dead. Murdered by one of those very trolls.


One of those trolls put a bomb in my house.


One of those trolls cut my children's heads off and nailed them to my door.


While other trolls now take those real world events and sex memes about them.


So let's talk about this.


Let's talk about how slanderous jackasses calling my books Erotica, when they were not Erotica, resulted in my entire family being murdered April 10, 2015.

People see what they WANT to see.

And apparently, people can make ANYTHING become Erotica in THEIR minds.

It reminds me of a question I got once from a newbie writer, writing their first novel, and they got hung up on an issue. 

Cross reference with a scene in the Quaraun series, that reoccurs in many forms.

In the Quaraun series is what readers refer to as a "squik horror" scene, that shows up again and again. A bowl of rice, full of maggots. A jar of wriggling worms. Slimy. Slithering. squishy. And often stepped on with bare feet: maggots and earthworms and grubs make regular appearances, and while MOST readers find these scenes just as disturbing as I do, a few readers have said these scenes were Erotica, especially when Quaraun steps bare foot into these disgusting wormy, maggoty messes.

The reason these scene reappear is because it's a thing that happened to me in real life, in 1991, days before Hurricane Bob hit Old Orchard Beach, Maine. A massive heatwave that broke Maine's heat records and is still unbroken today, hit Maine days before the hurricane arrived and...

Well... let's skip that for a minute and talk about the guy trying to write a bare foot girl. We'll swing back around to Hurricane Bob, Maine heat waves, and how Quaraun came to step in piles of maggots as a reoccurring scene in many Quaraun novels, after we talk about the guy looking to write a bare foot girl in his novel:

Their main character was bare foot, an indigenous, native girl, in an Amazon Rainforest tribe. They were writing a Tarzan Meets Jane, story in reverse, where it was modern man meets jungle girl. They wanted to write the story as an adventure story, not as a Romance story, complaining that Tarzan stories were always focused on sex and romance and relationships and never on the adventures in the jungle (clearly they had never read the ACTUAL Tarzan novels from the 1920s)

Well, they ran into a problem, when they reached finishing chapter 1, and realized they had no ability to write the girl's bare feet without sexualizing her bare feet.

I found this confusing, because, well, WHY would he sexualize someone's feet?

I've heard people mention foot fetish before and I had asked the same question then: Why would you sexualize someone's feet?

The concept of sexualizing something that is never involved in the act of sex, makes no sense to me at all. I simply can not understand it. 

But apparently there are people who sexualize things that not related to sex. And I don't understand why someone would do that. It just seems so bizarre.

In any case, this person was very upset. Deeply upset, because according to them, no matter what they wrote about her feet, it always was sexual. It bothered him a lot and he talked about it for days in our writing group. Every day adding more info about how he wanted to write this character as a carefree, barefoot, native, and all he could do was write page after page after page about her enjoying the feel of sand between her toes. He was so tripped up by being unable to stop writing endless sexualizations about her feet that he couldn't even finish the very first chapter of his novel and move on to the story.

So, the 48 members of the writing group (myself included) gathered around to brainstorm the situation and try to figure out how to write bare feet without sexualization. We all found it rather easy. In fact none of us saw what the issue was. None of us had reason to focus on our characters' feet. Each of use had few to no scenes mentioning feet in our novels. We were all actually quite shocked to realize how very rarely any of us mentioned feet at all in our novels. And none of us were able to think of a single instance of having written feet as sexy or connected to sex in any way.

Do you know what we found out? After 2 straight days of steady, none stop brain storming, we realized, this guy had a problem. He was obsessed with feet. Big time. 

Every single person in the writing group, had a solution. 48 different solutions were presented. All of them very good and any one of them would have worked. 

Answers included one person whom had lived in Samoa for a few years and told about how entire cultures there did not wear shoes. Another was part of a hiking group and detailed what it was like to hike through forests without shoes on, because they had done it and had gotten hurt doing it. Many compared the dangers of being bare foot out doors. 

Every one in the group agreed there was nothing sexy or romantic about bare feet.

Not one of them could understand why this guy was so upset, so paranoid that readers were going to sexualize her feet.

And he wouldn't listen to anything any one said. He couldn't stop saying over and over and over that he wanted to avoid fan service and author appeal and he couldn't stop bringing up rule 34, even though, NO ONE had implied writing bare feet is a sex thing.

The initial question had not mentioned sex or fetishes, but by the second day he was blubbering none stop about sex, even though no one had mentioned sex. He's the one who brought up sex in response to anything and everything every one said.

The original question said this:

>>>Does it make sense for a fictional character to go barefoot. I’m thinking of writing a tropical novel, but I’m not sure if the protagonist should be barefoot or not. Is it okay to write a character without footwear? Is there a way to make it interesting or cool?

>>>The personality is young, energetic, perky, close to nature and tactile. The character was raised in a lower tech tropical society and has to survive off raw resources most of the time. I was thinking of giving it a feel like McGuivor or the primitive tech videos on YouTube. The character also has an excellent sense of touch, which comes from the characters secret heritage. I was thinking of using it as a tool to make the story more inversive, but I don’t want it to be weird.

>>>But if I make the character barefoot, how do I make the character cool interesting and likable instead of weird?


Sounded innocent enough.

But than one of the other writers in our group replied with this:


>>>Yeah if they have a reason. I mean, their reason could literally be "shoes are uncomfortable" to "my magic requires me to be in contact with the earth."

>>>Or they're just really poor.

>>>Many indigenous people in tropical environments don't wear footwear. Someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

>>>You can make your character whatever you want. It's totally up to you. There is no problem with making a main character barefoot. As far as making it interesting or cool it really depends on a bunch of factors. Are they barefoot because of societal reasons? Religious reason? Enjoys the feel? Shoes are only available to certain people. Maybe the protagonist lost their favorite pair of shoes that had some sentimental factor and that's why they are barefoot.

>>>In the end though I'm not sure why it matters that the character is barefoot, also why you would want to bring so much attention to a small quirk for a character.


And this triggered him SO BAD.

Specifically, THIS: triggered him:


>>>In the end though I'm not sure why it matters that the character is barefoot, also why you would want to bring so much attention to a small quirk for a character.

From that point on he went on a full blown Teddy Bear Meltdown. Don't know what a Teddy Bear Meltdown is? Well then, HERE witness the awe that is the original Teddy Meltdown itself. In any case, he went flipping nuts, at the suggestion that being barefoot was a small quirk or that he didn't need to focus on it.

He raved and ranted for several hours while the rest of us just sat in awe at the extreme obsession this guy had with the bare feet of his main character.

Now, this not uncommon. Every author has some sort of fetish that they end up writing into everything they write, wither they realize it or not. Like George Lucas and his need to cut off the hand of a main character in every single Star Wars movie. Until fans pointed out he had done it, he claims he had no noticed he had done it.

Every writer has some fetish for something and it shows up in their work, intentionally or unintentionally. And when writers realize it, usually after readers point it out, usually their response is: "Huh, didn't realize I was doing that. Oh well." And they move one and keep on writing, and often start focusing more on the fetish. They accept the fact that yeah, they like that thing, and write about it. They embrace it. They write about it more.

I certainly do that. I mean just look at how much of the Quaraun series is focused on Quaraun's hair, BoomFuzzy's hair, GhoulSpawn's hair, GhoulSpawn's legs, wait, what? 

I can readily admit I have a hair fetish. Especially when every novel in the Quaraun series features a chapter devoted to somebody brushing Quaraun's hair, and or stroking GhoulSpawn's legs, yes, I like the hair on GhoulSpawn's legs, that's why I put it there, moving on...

There's nothing wrong with having a fetish, as long as it's not hurting any one.

Now this guy, he had discovered he had a fetish for his character's bare feet and couldn't stop writing about her bare feet and felt ashamed of it and, asked: 

>>>Does it make sense for a fictional character to go barefoot. I’m thinking of writing a tropical novel, but I’m not sure if the protagonist should be barefoot or not. Is it okay to write a character without footwear? Is there a way to make it interesting or cool?

>>>The personality is young, energetic, perky, close to nature and tactile. The character was raised in a lower tech tropical society and has to survive off raw resources most of the time. I was thinking of giving it a feel like McGuivor or the primitive tech videos on YouTube. The character also has an excellent sense of touch, which comes from the characters secret heritage. I was thinking of using it as a tool to make the story more inversive, but I don’t want it to be weird.

>>>But if I make the character barefoot, how do I make the character cool interesting and likable instead of weird?


But than when someone said this:


>>>In the end though I'm not sure why it matters that the character is barefoot, also why you would want to bring so much attention to a small quirk for a character.


He had a full blown total meltdown, raving and ranting that he couldn't let perverts ruin his character, citing rule 34, and saying he refused to write fan service for foot fetishes no matter how much he was writing to author appeal. And he posted every bit of it online, and just under 2million people read it and it went viral, and so now a lot of people are jumping on him because, he had not asked how to not sexualize bare feet, but now he was having a rant about how he was trying t avoid sexualizing bare feet, and eventually he got to the point of saying that ALL writers are perverts who sexualize bare feet and that NO author has EVER written bare feet without the goal of trying to arouse the reader.

Yie!

He had 48 professionally published, fairly big name authors giving him real world situation answers and he was replying to everyone by saying:


* "Yeah, I know, but rule 34!"


* "Yeah, I know for I want to avoid fan service!"


* "Yeah, I know, but how do I avoid author appeal?"


* "Yeah, I know, but perverts like bare feet."


No one - NO ONE - was sexualizing bare feet here BUT HIM!

My first reaction to his question is wonder about some of the phraseology he used.

Like:

Why is being barefoot "weird" in his mind? (He had said being bare foot was weird.)

On the other hand:

Why is being barefoot "cool" in his mind? (He had said being bare foot was a cool thing to do and he had thought making her bare foot would make her character more interesting.)

I'll point out too that I live in Maine where we have snow on the ground 7 months of the year and our weekly blizzards average 3 feet of snow per storm.

I was 31 years old the first time I had a pair of shoes.

I was 42 years old the first time I had a pair of boots.

As such, I find it weird that he would find being barefoot weird.

I also find it weird that he would find being barefoot as being cool.

His question came off as someone whom has never encountered a barefoot person before and is simply sexually aroused by the idea of seeing bare feet for the first time.

The others were telling him about various cultures that don't wear shows, even providing examples of places they visited themselves. And HOW did HE answer every comment?

By talking about fetishes, fan service, rule 34, and 50 Shades of Gray. NO ONE BUT HE was talking about those things. No one else even mentioned those things. 

There were 48 people here telling him about real world situations where real world people don't wear shoes, and he was just being so bullheaded, with his sex crazed head shoved so far up his own ass, that all he could do was answer with "but sex, but sex, but sex, but sex, but sex..." dude, no one's talking about sex but YOU.

HE and ONLY HE and NO ONE ELSE, was sexualizing bare feet.

HE and ONLY HE and NO ONE ELSE, was talking about bare feet as a fetish.

HE and ONLY HE and NO ONE ELSE, was comparing bare feet to Rule 34.

HE and ONLY HE and NO ONE ELSE, was putting bare feet into the classification of 50 Shades of Grey.

Dude, these people are pro-authors, not fanfic writers posting on porn sites. None of them knew what Rule 34 even meant. They are all asking him what it means and why he keep saying it. And he was so lost in his own bare foot sex fantasies that he couldn't even be bothered to answer them and tell them what rule 34 even means.  I had to look it up to find out what he were taking about. I didn't know what it was either.

Also, Google can't seem to find a definition for the terms "fan service" or "author appeal". I had to do some heavy duty searching before I could find other forum posts referencing the terms as well.

Near as I can tell, both the term "rule 34" and "fan service" and "author appeal" are terms found only in Tumblr fanfiction circles, which would explain why I never heard of them before as I don't read or write fanfiction.

And apparently the terms refer to authors writing sex fanfiction of copyrighted characters. Which means neither fan service or author appeal apply in his situation, seeing how he was creating his own characters.

But he couldn't stop saying he wanted to avoid fan service and author appeal (he said each 54 times - I counted) and he couldn't stop bringing up rule 34, even though, NO ONE had implied writing bare feet is a sex thing.

People are giving you real world situation answers and he are replying to everyone by saying:


* "Yeah, I know, but rule 34!"

* "Yeah, I know for I want to avoid fan service!"

* "Yeah, I know, but how do I avoid author appeal?"


But NO ONE is sexualizing bare feet here BUT HE!

Uhm.

This issue here?

HE saw bare feet as a sex object, so he was jumping to the false conclusion that EVERYONE saw bare feet as a sex thing, and he was getting crazy jealous, possessive of his character, because he didn't want other male readers lusting after her the way he was while he was writing her. 

And he by day 2, was attacking the people whom had answered him, because he'd worked himself into a sex crazed frenzy, thinking everyone was having perverted thoughts over his character, and yet, none of us even knew his character, because he had yet to even finish writing chapter 1 of his novel.

Bare feet are a natural part of life. To avoid fan service by writing the bare feet, you write the feet no differently that you write anything else. Bare feet only become fan service when you single them out and focus on talking about bare feet for no reason at all. If it doesn't move the plot forward, than there is no reason to bring up her bare feet at all.

If you want the bare feet to be part of her carefree character, than when you introduce her on page 1 of the story, simply describe her:

"She had dark skin and dark hair, and though her indigenous Amazon rainforest tribe had long ago embraced modern technology, she was a carefree spirit who loved to run barefoot in the sand, feel the wind through her long loose hair, feel the warmth of her sun beating down on her face. She was at one with nature. The spirits of the plants and animals called to her and she listened. This was her story..."

In one simple sentence I have told my readers, who this girl is, including that she goes barefoot, without sexualizing it. And now I write her story, without ever mentioning her bare feet, ever again.

If you wanted to remind the reader, you could add a scene like:

"As he was talking to her, he chanced to look down at the ground. He stopped talking He pointed to her bare feet.

"You're not wearing shoes," he said.

"Oh, no, I never wear shoes. I stopped wearing shoes when I was 10. Drove my mom crazy, but she she eventually gave up buying me shoes." She laughed cheerily, amused by his shock."

"You never wear shoes?"

"Nope. Never."

"But don't it hurt your feet?"

"No. Look." She held her foot up. "The skin on the bottom is tougher and thinker than the souls of your shoes. A nail won't even puncture. That's what comes of 30 years being barefoot. Now look at your poor feet. Soft and wimpy. A nail goes through your shoe, you'll be in the hospital."

"Wow, the bottoms of your feet are hideous!"

"I know right! People who have sex fantasies about bare foot women, ought to research what happens when you go bare foot outside for 2 or 3 years, let alone 30 years like I've done."


There. Now in the 2nd chapter I've reminded readers of her bare feet AND showed them the REALITY of what happens to REAL bare feet after a few years. AND called them out for sexualizing bare feet.

That's how easy it is.

Two scenes, under 100 words total. Point out she has bare feet without sexualizing it.

Think about it.

That's all you need to do.

You don't need to write 10 pages describing her feet every time she walks in the room.

Twice in the entire novel, is all you need.

Two scenes, under 100 words total. Point out she has bare feet without sexualizing it.

It really is that simple.

HE was the one sexualizing her feet, because HE was the one who wants to focus on her feet, and write page after page of detail about how her feet make her feel.

When you write a character, you write every part of them equally. With equal attention, giving only as much detail as is needed for the story. He had admitted there was no plot point for her being bare foot as the rest of her tribe wore shoes. He also admitted that making her barefoot had been done ONLY because he wanted to set her apart as different and unique from the rest of her tribe. And he admitted on 22 occasions that he though "being bare foot is cool", thus why being bare foot was what he had decided was the best way to show she was different.

Well, okay. Then just write that into the novel, what is the big deal?

The ONLY reason he worried others would fetishes her bare feet is because that is what he was doing himself.

Well, what is the big deal?

He likes bare feet. So what? He found himself writing too many scenes focusing on her bare feet. Again, so what?

If you are an author and you like bare feet, well, than go ahead and focus on writing scenes about your character's bare feet. What's wrong with that?

Readers who also like bare feet are going to love it.

People who don't like bare feet will pass it by.

What is the problem here?

The problem here is he was over reacting. He was making a big issue out of something that in the grand scheme of life, didn't matter.

He was jealous of future readers, lusting after a character, in a book, he hadn't yet even written, and he was so upset thinking about future readers looking at her feet the way he did, that he couldn't even write his book!

You know what, I went barefoot for 31 years, didn't own a pair of shoes that entire time and I never once went around thinking about the sensations of my toes in the sand.

Sorry, but barefoot people don't do that.

Only people who sexualize bare feet, think bare foot people do that.

In fact there is only ONE time that I remember of that I noticed the sensations my feet where feeling.

I lived on a horse farm, and during a heat wave, it only takes a couple of hours for a fresh pile of poop to become full of maggots.

Well, now take the poop and make it horse poop, on a horse farm, in the stables, that had no air conditioning because we also did not have electricity, and oh yeah, we didn't have running water either so, no way to wash - no sinks, showers, or toilets. 

When I say I grew up in 3rd word living conditions, I'm not joking. I grew up in 3rd world living conditions. I know what it is to go weeks between a meal. And can make a sandwich last for 2 weeks.

So the topic of being barefoot is one I know well.

But this particular day, the heat had reached 121F, not normal for our region, and the horse poop was full of maggots, because flies go from fresh laid egg to giant maggots in under 2 hours.

I was barefoot and I was shoveling horse poop, and walking around barefoot, and there thousands of maggots climbing up my feet, between my toes, up my legs, biting my feet, biting my toes, biting my legs, borrowing under my flesh... that night was spent with a sewing needle, puncturing my skin and running a thread through maggots to pull them back out from under my skin ... it was horrible, and to this day, I still have night mare about it, and now have a raging phobia of maggots that I did not have before that day. 

That's the only time I can remember any distinctive sensation while being bare foot for the first 31 years of my life.

Needless to say, I have no ability to grasp the concept of sexualizing feet.

Hurricane Bob, Maine heat waves, and how Quaraun came to step in piles of maggots as a reoccurring scene in many Quaraun novels, was directly a result of an actual event which happened to me in 1991.

Like I said, Maine's a lot more "out back" than people realize. And Maine in the 1970s, was way more "out back" than it is today in 2021.

Just because Maine is part of America, people forget, how big America is and how varied it's regions are. Even in America, other Americans assume 3rd world countries are ONLY Africa and India. They forget, Maine has 3rd world regions that even now in 2021, see dozens of children dying of starvation daily, and tens of thousands of people without electricity or plumbing or shoes.

I grew up in 3rd world conditions.

I was 31 years old before I had shoes.

I wasn't bare foot by will. 

I suffered severe frost bite several times while shoveling the snow in our 175 foot long driveway, without any shoes on.

I've had my bare feet stepped on my horses. Hurts like hell.

I've suffered many broken toes and foot injuries because I had no shoes.

And when I started wearing shoes, the callous leather layer of shin on the souls of my feet were so think, that it took several weeks of soaking my feet in hot water, than using pruning shears to cut off the inch think layer of hard skin, before I could even fit my feet into a shoe.

That's the reality of 31 years on bare feet.

But he was too busy focusing on sex, to think about the realities of living your life bare foot. And THAT is why he was having trouble writing his bare foot girl.

All he had to do was STOP thinking about how much he wanted to fuck her feet and START thinking about what life is like to live with no shoes.

And this is the same situation for readers who see the Quaraun series as Erotica.

They have some bizarre none sex related thing that they want to fuck, and they see that thing as Erotica no matter where they find it, but HE thinking a non-sexual item is sexual, does NOT make that item sexual to everyone else.

Are there things I fetishize that show up in the Quaraun novels with more emphasis than is needed?

Yes there are.

Does that make the Quaraun books Erotica?

No it does not.

It just means, there ARE things about the characters that I like, quite a lot, and I DO put more emphasis on describing those things.

Clearly I have a strong sexual attraction to not only my main character, but also to both of his lovers and I'm not ashamed to write about them in ways that makes it pretty obvious I'm attracted to them.

Does that make my books Erotica? No. Erotica is a very specific genre with very specific formula and guidelines and the Quaraun series doesn't even come close to it.

Does it make some scenes in the novels erotic? Well, maybe. If the things in those scenes are things you get aroused by, than, yeah, maybe you could find some stuff in the Quaraun series erotic.

Does a novel having erotic scenes, make the novel Erotica? No. And if you didn't know that, than clearly you don't know what the Erotica genre is.

I accepted the fact decades ago, that I am sexually attracted to my main characters and yeah, I do write about them, like I was a teenaged screaming fangirl writing fanfiction. But, so what? I'm not trying to win a Nobel Prize writing this series. It IS "junk writing" written simply because it's fun to write. It's riddled with bad grammar and bad spelling and tropes and I have no intention of trying to edit it into something "good". It was never meant to be something "good". It was only ever meant to be something FUN.

I never wrote it intending to publish it, the early volumes, I didn't publish those: Mrs Bureau did. Mrs. Bureau was a teacher at Old Orchard Beach, Jameson School, back in the 1970s and 1980s, She was trying to get my parents to send me to school. She used to come by the house to drop off text books so I could study on my own, because my parents wouldn't let me go to school.

I don't know what happened to her. I never her first name. She was probably in her 20s. Had long blond hair. One day, she read what I was writing, said "This is really good". I was 5 years old, when Friends Are Forever was published. She sent it in to some magazine. They published it. Their readers wanted more. Mrs. Bureau was the one who published the first few dozen. I didn't know the first thing about publishing. How could I? I was 5 years old!

I don't know what happened. Just when I was 8 years old, my uncle Bruce showed up, locked my a cage, and I never saw Mrs. Bureau again. The Cyr Clan arrived that same summer and the 4 - 5 - 8 shoot out happened.

Grammy Eva, gave me a typewriter and paper, and I sat a racoon trap, typing, there wasn't anything else to do. The cages wasn't even big enough for me to sit up straight. I got let out once a week to go to the store with Grammy Eva, and my uncles took my to the Cape Elizabeth Church on Sundays to show me off to the high priests who paid my uncles to stop by dropping the week to rape me. And that was my life until the BI raid rescued me 27 years later when I was 31 years old.

So I became very in love with the characters I wrote about, because they were the only people I had to talk to.

The racoon cage was in a woodshed behind the house. There were slats about 2 inches wide between the boards. So I was always wet in the rain and freezing in the snow. They gave me one salt herring to eat once every 12 days. 

Grammy gave me paper and ink ribbons so I could type. She published everything.

Everything published BEFORE the FBI raid in 1996, if it made money, I don't know, I never saw any of the money if it did.

And I wasn't even aware I had millions of fans. That was a shock wen I learned it because I had no idea any one knew my characters. 

That's WHY there is so much written. So many novels. So many short stories. And it's also why the stories are like they are: a character constant begging for freedom from a cage, and when he is outside of the cage, just walking and walking and walking, endlessly forever, because he's free, he's not in a cage any more, he can stand up, and sit down at will, and he can walk.

Do you have any idea what that is like?

How much joy there is, in being able to walk?

Walking IS taken to extreme fetish levels in the Quaraun series because at the time I wrote it, I was in a cage, huddled over my knees, without enough room to even stand up.

That's also why Quaraun is always outdoors, never in a house. I wouldn't even begin t know what it must be live to live in doors, in a house.

It's why Quaraun sleeps on hay and furs outside. I don't know what it would feel like to sleep in doors or on a bed, I don't know how to write something like that.

And that's also why I write Quaraun, raped, beaten, abused, and raped again, and never experiencing good or happy se, because I don't know what good or happy sex feels like. 

I had been rape more than 500 times when I was 12 years old. The last time I had sex was when I was 17,more then 40 years ago. There has NEVER been a time when I have EVER had sex willingly. Every instance was ALWAYS rape, and ALWAYS Mormon High Priest from the Cape Elizabeth, Saco, and Sanford Wards of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints.

I don't know how to write happy, joyful, pleasurable sex, because I've never experienced it.

Technically most people would classify me as a virgin, because most people don't count rape as real sex.

And when you know THAT, than you start to see, why it is so utterly stupid that people could even think, my books were Erotica.

I write what I know and can't write sex because I know nothing about sex at all.

That don't mean I don't write fetish stuff in the books. But having fetish stuff in the books, doesn't make them Erotica, and if you read Erotica, you'd know the difference immediately.

Don't be afraid to fetishize things in your novel. Every author does. Every author has something they emphasis to the point of a fetish, wither they realize it or not.

Unlike the author who could not accept that he enjoyed bare feet and really just wanted to write about bare feet, I can accept that big men terrify me, because the shortest of my abusive uncles was 6'4" and the tallest 7'3", so I like little men, like Quaraun who's 5'6" and BoomFuzzy who is 5'3". And the priest who paid my uncles to rape me, they were always young men in their 30s to 50s, clean shaven, crew cuts, wearing Mormon missionary style suits, shaved hair so their clean cut big penises are on display... so what do I write extreme fetishes about?

Anyone who has ever read one of my novels will be quick to tell you what my fetishes are:


* Elves.. never Humans

* Wizards... evil men of the Occult, never religious priests

* Men who wear robes and gowns and caftans and kimono and hakama and prom dresses...but never suits, never pants, and never shirts and ties

* Elderly men, also much older than the men who raped me

* Testicles... men hate those for some reason, focus 100% on their penises, to the point I find penises revolting

* Scrotum rings

* Foreskins to keep penises neatly tucked in out of view where they belong

* Eunuch - Quaraun is castrated, so he is safe, he can't rape anyone

* Men with long bum length hair

* Dreadlocks

* Brushing hair... I was in my 30s before I ever owned a brush... I have hundreds of them now... I had wanted a brush so bad my whole life, I wanted to know what brushed hair felt like... my dreadlocks were 42" long when I cut them off so that I could brush my hair for the first time, in 2017

* Hair being brushed

* Hair being stroked

* Hair being petted

You're starting to see a trend right?


Yeah...


If you've never read the Quaraun novels, you probably will get a but of a shock, when you find out what the most prevalent, reoccurring, fetish found in the Quaraun series is... but anyone who's ever read any volume of the Quaraun series knows, that... I like hairy balls.

Yeah.

There it is.

I find it absolutely utterly revolting when a man shaves off his pubic hair, worse when he shaves his balls.

Quaraun's balls are on display in EVERY Quaraun novel.

BoomFuzzy's balls are on display in EVERY Quaraun novel in which he appears which is almost all of them.

But nothing get's bigger descriptions than GhoulSpawn's balls, when they are on display in EVERY Quaraun novel, that he appears in.

GhoulSpawn if you don't know, from the waist down, he's a Cotswold Sheep.

Do you know what I made Lord Sesshomaru's Mokomoko out of for the CosPlay of him? 7 bales of Cotswold sheep's wool. The Mokomoko is 14 feet long, also I sleep with it, I have since I made it in 2007.

The fact remains, it's no secret that I have a fetish for shaggy balls, dreadlocks, soft fur, and long hair, and I don't make a secret of it in my writing. And I've made a secret of WHY that is. I write men who are the EXACT OPPOSITE of the Mormon High Priests who endlessly raped me from the time I was 4 years old to 17 years old. Yes, I write those scenes full fan service, because, these men, though they are fictional, are the ONLY men I've ever felt safe with. And my writing those scenes as I do, it's part of WHY the people who love the Quaraun series, love it so much.

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

You people need to get off your high horses - I write the Quaraun series for you, I write it for me. There are no hidden message, no agendas, no themes, no meanings, no pushing ideals on anyone. Nothing. In fact, if Mrs Bureau hadn't published those original volumes back in the 1970s when I was 5 years old, you wouldn't even know the Quaraun series existed, because I NEVER would have published it on my own.

Mrs Bureau, she helped my uncles. You see, the more priests they could get to rape me, the more scenes I wrote of men raping other children the same age as me and, she profited off of that.

Those 1970s porn magazine rape stories of 8 year old girls writing diaries about being raped, those weren't fiction and I was 8 years old when I wrote those entries IN MY DIARY.

If you can find out who Mrs Bureau is, she escaped prison time when my uncles and the Mormon priests went to prison in the 1990s, because the Jameson school, said their records department burned down a few years prior so they no longer had info on who she was. She's be around 85 to 90 today in 2021 if she is still alive. 

My uncles and their friends ran a child sex slave ring. And they let 5 year old, 8 year old, 10 year old me write what they did, because they published it as fiction. I never understood why they took my diaries, by it was only after the FBI raid that I found out they'd been publishing my diary entries as child porn fiction in child porn magazine for nigh on 30 years an I never knew.

They sold it as something they called "lolicon".

THERE"S your Erotica for you.

Those were NOT me writing Erotica. That was me, daily writing a diary about the sex abuse and torture I lived through. Those were not me as an adult making up sex stories about children... I WAS the 5 year old child in those stories. I WAS the 8 year old. I WAS the the 12 year old. Those were NOT fiction. And Mrs Bureau and my uncles had no right to publish them at all, let alone publish them in child porn magazines.

Mr Bureau supported the human trafficking my uncles did, because she was making money off of it.

People who ask for my old "lolicon" from the 1970s to be republished... those were pages from my diary, and sick fucks like that Jameson School Kindergarten teacher, KNEW they SHOULD have taken that diary to the police and saved that child from hell, and instead, they took evidence from a crime scene and made money off of it.

That's how my early stuff got published and that's why it's so different than what I write today.

Any sane, kind, caring, compassionate adult would have taken that diary to the police.

I was only 5 years old when she did that, and she could have saved me from 3 decades of rape and torture, had she gone to the police like she should have done instead of publishing it.

Think of how much would be different if that one Kindergarten teacher had taken that diary to the police.

I wouldn't have spent 27 years locked in a cage, starving, freezing, broken bones. Other children, those 31 children whose sawed up bones were found on June 19, 2016, in GooseFare Brook Ravine in the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, would not have died. They'd still be alive today.



How did so many people become so convinced that this series was Erotica, that a mob of over 70 people arrived in my driveway on April 10, 2015, to violently, brutally murder my family, because they were outraged over my books being Erotica?

How?

How does something like this happen?



Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!


I've ignored the sex crazed trolls calling my books Erotica for years...


...but now my family is dead. Murdered by one of those very trolls.


One of those trolls put a bomb in my house.


One of those trolls cut my children's heads off and nailed them to my door.


While other trolls now take those real world events and sex memes about them.


So let's talk about this.


Let's talk about how slanderous jackasses calling my books Erotica, when they were not Erotica, resulted in my entire family being murdered April 10, 2015.


I think part of the problem with people calling me an Erotica author, when I've never even written a sex scene and I find scenes glorifying nude bodies to be revolting, largely because I find the human body to be utterly disgusting... stems from the fact that I write Yaoi and people seem to not know what the word Yaoi means.

Just because sex crazed teens write sex crazed fan fiction and post it on Tumbler with the tag "yaoi" underneath, doesn't mean it's ACTUALLY Yaoi. In fact, if it's fanfiction, chances are high it contains no Yaoi in it at all.

Yaoi is a Japanese word, which when translated to English means:

"Boy Love Written By Female Authors For Female Readers"

It means Gay Couples written by a female author.

Yaoi is NOT Erotica. Not even close. Usually, professionally published Yaoi is Romance. It's ONLY it stupid Yaoi Slash (fanfiction) that you see sex scenes or Erotica. If you've only read Yaoi Slash aka Yaoi fanfiction, than you've NEVER read the Yaoi genre, which is the LARGEST genre published in Japan, and 99.99% of the time is 100% sex-free.

I'm sorry, but horny 10 year old writing gay sex on FanFiction dot net is NOT the Yaoi genre and you're an idiot if you think it is.

Usually Yaoi is Sweet Romance aka sexless Romance like what Barbra Cartland wrote.

And while ALL Sweet Romance is sexless, MOST Romance is 100% sex free. 

It's very rare for a Romance novel to contain a sex scene.

And before the Fabio books of the 1990s, you never even saw so much as a hug, let alone a kiss, and sex wasn't even hinted at, let alone implied.

The Fabio books introduced couples how risked scandal by hugging in public and once in a while a couple got really daring and held hands. Kissing, still out of the question and sex did not exist outside of marriage and was not on the page.

In fact, the first Romance novel to contain an on-page sex scene, was written in 2013. Yes. 50 Shades of Grey.

Before 2013, sex was not allowed in the Romance genre and no publisher would touch a sex scene.

Sex scenes existed in other genres, as far back as the 1950s, but they were considerably rare before the 1990s and were generally seen as a death sentence to the career of any author daring enough to risk slipping a nipple onto the page.

If you wanted sex scenes, you wanted Erotic Romance, Erotica, or Porn - the ONLY 3 genres allowed to publish a sex scene in America, and YES the American government did and in fact still does have obscenity laws restricting what you can write, with sex outright not being allowed, by federal law, to be published in certain genres, until September 1997.

You might want to look up the federal laws that govern the publishing industry in America. Freedom of Speech ain't as free as you'd expect. There are a lot of things, you can't legally publish in America. 

No one ever referred to me as an Erotica author prior to 2013 when Kendra Silvermander highjacked my KBoards account while I was in the hospital, and started posting weird sex filled gibberish all over the forum using my account.

The Erotica rumor returned when Twitch streamer ThingyChan set out to making 5 hour long videos, detailing weird sex filled BDSM shit about me.

In both cases of Kendra and Claudia, it appears to be a case of "too retarded to know what words mean" followed by letting their overactive perverted, sex crazed imaginations run away with them on social media.

Both of them discovered I write in the Yaoi Genre and both of them, not knowing what Yaoi means, automatically thought Yaoi = Erotica/BDSM and ran wild spreading sex lies about me and what I write without ever once actually READING my novels to find out how incredible inaccurately they had misjudged me.

The fact remains, Quaraun is bisexual and polygamist. He has 2 male lovers: BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn, both of whom are gay, and he also has 3 female lovers, all 3 of whom are straight. Quaraun is married to all 5 of his lovers and they all live together.

And guess what?

Quaraun is also, not only asexual, he's a castrated eunuch, which you would have known if you had actually READ my novels instead of running around spreading lies and rumors about them.

Sex doesn't run Quaraun's life. He loves his partners very much - no sex required for that. They have a strong emotional bond. It's unbreakable, and when one of them dies, one of the others driven to suicide by it, which is a primary plot point for the entire series.

BoomFuzzy's suicide takes over Quaraun's entire life. He becomes obsessed with. BoomFuzzy commits suicide right in the beginning of the series. It's one of the first things that happens. And the whole rest of the series after that, is older Quaraun, retelling his life with BoomFuzzy. 

The series shifts back and forth. Chapter A is a flashback to the past when BoomFuzzy was still alive, chapter B shifts to the present where we see Quaraun slowly going insane, suffering suicidal guilt driven depression blaming himself for BoomFuzzy's suicide.

THAT is the ENTIRE story... all 138 novels and 2,000+ short stories.

It's not sex, it's not Erotica. It's a man torn apart and trying to find a reason to live after his lover commits suicide.

There ARE sensual scenes, that involve a lot of touching and groping, kissing and hugging, but sex itself occurs in only 21 scenes out of the entire series.

Quaraun has a raging phobia of both sex and humans. Being a small, feminine looking Elf, he is often mistaken by Humans for being aa female and over the years several men have raped or attempted to rape Quaraun.

Because Quaraun's father did not want Quaraun to be the next king, he gathered together several women hell bent on being the next King mother, and held Quaraun down while the women raped him. The even repeats itself, until one of the women finally gives birth to a male baby. This event happened shortly before Quaraun is castrated by his father. His intent was to ensure that Quaraun did not father another child which could lay claim to the throne.

Needless to say the very thought of sex traumatizes Quaraun on horrifying levels. This results in the strange relationships he has with his lovers.

The story follows their life and has no theme of sex or gay-rights or anything, even though haters have made such claims. In fact, the fact that the characters are gay, bi, ad polygamous is not even mentioned at all. AND, back in 1978 when I first started writing the series, I have never heard the word gay... in fact, the first time I ever heard the word gay was on September 12, 2015 when a mod of gay haters arrived in my driveway. Even though I had written a GAY couple for over 40 years, I had to Google the word GAY in 2016 to find out what GAY was, because I had never heard the term before. That's how big of a non-issue GAY is in the novels.

I had known a gay couple in Saco, Maine when I was a small child. They were friends of my grandmother and she often visited them and several times I had been with her. I was about 12 years old when one of them was murdered at Saco Shaw's - it was the first of 5 Saco Shaw's Transgender Murders that would happen at that store over the next 30 years. About a year later the other one commit suicide. While not my first encounter with death, his was my first encounter with suicide.

I think because I was so young, about 4 years old, when I met them, and they were married before I meet them, and this was back in the 1970s, that it never occurred to me, that men were "not supposed" to be a couple.

One was a transvestite. He did not try to be a woman, he just liked wearing prom dresses, and the other looked like Billy Idol, spiky white hair, always dressed in spiked black leather. They owned Maine's first Dollar store, which was in the Saco Shaw's parking lot. Both of them died in the store a year apart. One was murdered by gay haters in the store, the other hung him self in the store on the one anniversary of his partners murder.

This couple HEAVILY influenced Quaraun and BoomFuzzy's characters and the theme of suicide that is in the Quaraun novels.

When I created Quaraun and BoomFuzzy, I even designed them to look and dress and talk like this real world gay couple whom had owned the Saco Shaw's Dollar Store.

They were a married couple. I never noticed until almost 40 years later, that they were the ONLY male couple in town. I didn't see them as different. I didn't see them a unusual. They were just a married couple, live may parents and other kids parents, it never occurred to me that they were the ONLY couple who were 2 men.

So, I grew up, just thinking sometimes families had 2 dads. 

When the transvestite was murdered, it was the 1970s and I was so young, it never occurred to me that it was because he was married to another man. I didn't realize that was what happened until many years later.

When the "Billy Idol" one hung himself, we were at the store, so we saw him like that. Me and my grandmother. I was I around 12 at the time. I understood why he did it. He was so sad after his partner was murdered. 

I never forgot what happened to them and it just stuck with me my whole life, that these men really loved each other a lot, so much that they couldn't live without each other and I just started writing stories about them and over time it evolved and became the Quaraun series.

It's not sex, it's not Erotica. It's man torn apart and trying to find a reason to live after his lover commits suicide.

And you people who call my work Erotica... you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

You judged it without reading it. Had you read it, you'd have known what it was. So all of you "god hates sex" protests in my driveway... you blew up my house with a bomb for nothing, you murdered my children for nothing. You stupid ass idiots. May you all burn in hell where you belong.

 The series spans 138 novels, 2,000+ short stories, more 8 million words total, and has exactly 21 sex scenes, which are there only because they were important to the plot, and they fade to black.

The story is Quaraun murdered someone and is on the run, at first alone, but he meets people alone the way, who, like him are outcasts of society for one reason or another and they form a sort of DnD/Pathfinder type adventuring group that travels together.

Quaraun started out as a character I played in Dungeons & Dragons, decades ago. And the earliest stories about him, were nothing more than me writing down the game story as my game group played the game. The character was created because the Dungeon Master wanted to hide the game's end boss villain (a Necromancer) in the adventure party, for the 2edAD&D Temple of Elemental Evil and needed a player he could trust to play a Chaotic Evil character and not let the rest of the players know the character was evil. The DM gave me the stats and I created a Moon Elf.  With the release of SpellJammer a few years later, I kept the character going in the SpellJammer Champaign, and than in a RavenLoft one as well. Quaraun, BoomFuzzy, BeLuna, ZooLock, and Bullgaar were all characters I played in various campaigns with this game group. It was a large group with 15 players and 3 DMs (myself being one of the DMs) and 9 of us were published authors who were writing our novels based off the game nights. Because of this most of the Quaraun novels are heavily influenced by Temple of Elemental Evil, Raveloft, and SpellJammer. Because 9 of us were authors, we all retained the characters we personally played as our main characters in our novels, and changed the names and races of other players' characters, that way ONLY my novels contained Quaraun, BoomFuzzy, BeLuna, ZooLock, and Bullgaar, but never contained any characters played by other players. Each author did the same, and all of us published 50+ novels each over the course of running this D&D game group.

Quaraun was not originally written as a gay/bi character, as can be seen by the early stories when he had multiple wives and 8 children. This changed when an affair started between him and another Elf wizard as a result of a gay player wanting to play his own character gay and there being no one else willing to declare their character gay and his (the player's) boyfriend not wanting to join the game group. He designed his character as a half-elf wizard, with a pocket full of parrots. In the Quaraun novel's his character was changed to a Demon named GhoulSpawn and the pockets full of parrots became pockets full of sheep.

Also, Quaraun's a serial killer. Remember, I said he was designed to be the final boss villain of 2edAD&D's Temple of Elemental Evil, and part of what the DM's plan was, was for my character to one by one kill off the entire adventuring party, then resurrect them as Liches. This required players, to be killed in the game, without knowing my character had killed them, and than, being contacted that night, after the game, by the DM, to inform them: "DO NOT roll out a new character! Here's what's happening. You are now one of the Necromancer's minions. The Moon Elf will resurrect you and you are now Lawful Evil, and a Lich, but you have to pretend to be Lawful Good and don't let anyone know you are evil or a lich now." 

In the novels, like in the game, the murders are grizzly rituals, with scenes drawn out in medically accurate gory detail. Thus why the series is rate M18 or M21 in countries which have book ratings, and banned from being sold in some countries. Why would you call something like that Erotica? If you are so sick and so twisted that you would call something like THAT Erotica, than you probably belong in prison yourself.

Quaraun IS the villain. That's why he never fights any villains in the series. It's WHY the series goes on with Quaraun able to enter any village, any town, and country, any planet, with no one challenging him, and people running away in terror at the sight of him. He's the ultimate super villain, completely undefeatable. Unlike most story arches in typical fiction, the heroes NEVER win in the Quaraun series. Every hero who ever enters Quaraun's life to try to stop him, winds up dead and eaten. Every adventuring party that arrives to stop him is obliterated.

Quaraun is the most powerful wizard of the known universe. He's invincible. He's The Pink Necromancer. And any D&D style adventure party that tries to stop him, he just unleashes Pocket Lich - his pet DracoLich - on them, or BoomFuzzy - his Undead purple lich unicorn. Quaraun is more powerful than the Lich Lords, he made the Lich Lords, he controls the Liches.

Quaraun's world is dark and bloody. You're very in the wrong place if you came here looking for sex and Erotica, because you will not find that here.

The characters I played in Dungeons and Dragons (2ed AD&D, 3rd ed, 3.5 ed, 4th ed, 4.5 ed... I've never played 5th ed - I have more than 10,000 DnD, Pathfinder, Warhammer, d20, MTG, EverQuest, Iron Kingdoms, and other such games splat books/game guides, etc). 


The characters I played in Dungeons and Dragons are:


   *   Quaraun: Moon Elf Prince - Necromancer; infected with Mind Flayer Larva in his brain and will eventually evolve into a Mind flayer; primary attack is resurrecting dead flowers/plants/trees as armies of undead.


   *   BoomFuzzy aka King Gwallmaiic The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley: Phooka/Kelpie/Evil Unicorn - Candy Chef Illusionist; makes marshmallow bunnies that transform into Holy Hand Grenades when thrown at enemies; delights in skewering Humans on his horn


   *   GhoulSpawn: Half Sun Elf, Half Cotswold Sheep Demon - Portal Master, Beast lord, and Chaos Sorceror - a coward who flees from fights, but throws glittering sheep into the path of enemies when doing so, causing confusion in the enemies, allowing the entire party to escape through a portal he made


   *   BeaLuna: Flower Gnome - Assassin/Rouge, Alchemist, Pixie Hunter; has a pair of ruby encrusted magic daggers and keeps pixies in glass jars


   *   Bullgaar: Half Dwarf Half Mountain Troll - Barbarian Warrior - a very big and very stupid Dwarf with rock-like skin


   *   FarDaariig: A Farrdariig (Welsh Vampire Leprechaun); wears a coat made of Human skin, dyed red with human blood; Mind Control -semi-psion, makes drugged food that he gives to travellers, causes them to sleepwalk off cliffs allow him to defeat enemies without actually confronting them in battle


   *   AlKeeme aka The Lansquin: Moon Elf - Quaraun's great-grandson; Cult Leader, Alchemist. Used alchemy to transform into a Gorgon/Snake-shifter beast. Uses mind control to turn enemies on each other.


   *   ZooLock: Illithid/Mind Flayer - Psion Priest with a pet Jelly Cube; A coward who flees fights, but leaves behind bloodthirsty flying pink goldfish and giant green jelly cubes, both of which massacre the attackers; worships the Sacred Pink JellyFish a female god wo is bored with being a god and has taken refuge in the brain of an Elf (the parasite that has burrowed into Quaraun's brain)

As Illithids/Mind Flayers are copyrighted character races and can not be used in published works not published by Wizards of the Coast, ZooLock underwent a race/species change in the published Quaraun novels, but in the original game play, he was a Mind flayer. 


...and they all appear in the Quaraun novels and do the same things they did your game group's game nights.

Does ANY of ^THAT^ sound like BDSM Erotica to YOU?

Let me tell you more about these novels they are calling BDSM and Erotica.

BoomFuzzy aka Unicorn is NOT a good person.

Let me repeat that:

BoomFuzzy is evil.

He's a serial killer known as The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley.

People call him this because he eats Elves.

He is in the habit of befriending an Elf, getting it to trust him, seducing it, making it his lover, than viciously attacking, killing, and eating it.

Quaraun is fully aware of this. But Quaraun, as a young child, had an emo-like crush on this villain whom all Elf children were taught to be on the look out for. When as a young adult Quaraun meets The Elf Eater, he is attacked, beaten, taken prisoner, and raped. Quaraun escapes and flees. Years later, they meet again and this time The Elf Eater is now very old, elderly, crippled, almost blind, and nearly starved to death. 

Initially Quaraun plans to kill the evil creature that has murdered thousands of Elves. But when BoomFuzzy does not fight back and simply let's Quaraun kill him, saying it would be a mercy for his life to end, Quaraun can't bring himself to kill the beast and ends up taking care of BoomFuzzy, nursing him back to health. They live together for about 30 years, but Quaraun is a very young Elf, he'll live another 500 years or more, and BoomFuzzy is an ancient Phooka somewhere around 2,000 years old. Old age, arthritis, dementia, Alzheimer's, blindness, and manic depression are all things the Phooka is suffering from. 

One day a village of Elves finds out Quaraun is living with The Elf Eater as his lover, and they attack the couple. Quaraun is seriously injured. BoomFuzzy rescues him, but gets stabbed in the belly when doing so. While nursing Quaraun back to health, BoomFuzzy neglects his own injury and it becomes infected. Knowing he will not live more than a few weeks and not wanting to suffer in agony just to die, BoomFuzzy kills himself and Quaraun is devastated and feels responsible for BoomFuzzy's suicide. 

Quaraun uses magic to preserve BoomFuzzy's body and spends 100 years studying Necromancy in search of a way to restore BoomFuzzy's life. Quaraun eventual raises BoomFuzzy from the dead as a Lich and does the spell wrong, also resurrecting dead trees, dead rose bushes, dead wildlife (deer, rabbits, etc.), and all the dead in several local graveyards  all as liches too. 

Quaraun is horrified by what he has done and goes into hiding for 300 years, terrified to face the world, now that he's unwittingly unleashed a massive hoard of assorted undead on society. Ghosts of his long dead old friends start to follow him around, and he spends time talking with them, but no one but Quaraun can see BeaLuna or Bullgaar so everyone thinks Quaraun's insane.

The world believes Quaraun is an evil super villain who created the Liches to take over the planet. BoomFuzzy thinks it's hilarious because he WAS trying to take over the planet and Quaraun gave him a way to do so, while also making BoomFuzzy immortal. BoomFuzzy will stop at nothing to destroy everything and everyone, and now Quaraun is suicidal over the guilt of having unleashed this madman on the world. Blinded by love, Quaraun didn't want to believe BoomFuzzy was evil, but now he sees BoomFuzzy for what he is. But, BoomFuzzy actually does love Quaraun and wants to keep Quaraun from committing suicide. Quaraun attempts suicide in almost every novel, and the plot is often around BoomFuzzy's attempt to keep Quaraun alive. Quaraun, realizing that he can keep BoomFuzzy from hurting others by keeping the Phooka's focus on him, uses this to try to keep BoomFuzzy from hurting others.

Quaraun knew that BoomFuzzy was dangerous. He loved the thrill of the danger. It was a fantasy of his that he never thought would come true. He never expected to meet The Elf Eater.

It is also well established that Quaraun is not mentally competent. For lack of a better word, Quaraun is borderline retarded in many respects. He was born "slow". He's not very smart, most consider him stupid. We see scenes of him in early childhood and it is apparent from as early as 3 years old, that Quaraun is not right in the head. Quaraun's father is abusive of him for this very reason. 

The King believes his son to have been infected by a type of Demon (called a Thullid) that starts out as a maggot like larvae, crawls up your nostril, burrows into your brain, slowly eats your brain, and as it's body grows it fills your skull, replacing your brain, while sending long tentacles into your spine to attach to your nerves. You eventually die and it takes over your body, and no one ever knows you die because it fuses to you and it effectively becomes you, taking over your identity and living as you. This is the process of "Demon Possession" in Quaraun's world, where Demon Possession is not a spiritual possession but rather an actual alien creature possessing your body.

And, the King is not wrong. When Quaraun was 3 years old, he and his mother were attacked by Thullids. Both were implanted. Quaraun's father noticed a change in his wife's habits and killed her by smashing her head in with a rock, to break open her skull and pull the JellyFish-like creature out of her brain. He than stomped the Thullid to death. Quaraun witnessed this. Only 3 years old, he was deeply traumatized by what he had seen, and no one believed him when he told other adults that his father had killed his mother. Quaraun was sent away to a wizarding school on the other side of the planet and it was there that he was raised and heard stories of the Elf Eater and eventually came to meet the Elf Eater.

Young and foolish, born not quite "right" mentally, and suffering from a Thullid infestation in his brain, Quaraun was not prone to thinking clearly or rationally, and when he realized who BoomFuzzy was, he foolishly thought he could change the Elf Eater's ways, buy casting a soul binding spell. Quaraun literally cut his soul in half, and cut BoomFuzzy's soul in half, and switched souls. Taking half of The Elf Eater's soul and putting half of his soul in BoomFuzzy.

And while the soul binding ritual worked to somewhat tame the Elf Eater, by making him more like the timid Elf Quaraun was, the soul binding also made Quaraun more violent by making him more like the vicious Phooka BoomFuzzy was.

The two became as one being, knowing each others' thoughts, feeling every pain the other feels. If one became drunk, they both got intoxicated. If one took drugs, they both got high. When one was stabbed, they both felt the pain. When one was wounded, they both started bleeding. When one caught the flue, they both got a fever. Quaraun had underestimated the full effects of the hive mind of soul binding and never even thought about the fact that he would become like BoomFuzzy.

When BoomFuzzy died, Quaraun felt it happen inside of him, as though he himself were dying. And after BoomFuzzy was gone, Quaraun couldn't function, because half of his soul died with BoomFuzzy and was now gone, while half of BoomFuzzy's dead soul was still inside him, slowly turning Quaraun into an undead creature.

When Quaraun resurrects BoomFuzzy as a Lich, the spell goes wrong because of the soul binding spell, and Quaraun partly becomes a Lich himself.

This all happens with in the first few chapters and is how the series starts.

The end result is they have a very hostile and toxic relationship. BoomFuzzy is violent, a drug dealer, and is often drunk. He's prone to drug Quaraun's food and drink, keeping the Elf constantly high. BoomFuzzy beats Quaraun up frequently and is not uncommon for Quaraun to be seen with a black eye, a bloody nose, or a split lip.

GhoulSpawn sees this and is actively trying to break them up out of fear that BoomFuzzy with beat Quaraun to death. GhoulSpawn and Quaraun become lovers and that sends BoomFuzzy on a violent rampage with Quaraun, and starts beating on him worse than before.

The whole thing is a big mess.

And while this quick bit of info may seem to imply Quaraun is a misunderstood hero, nothing could be further from the truth. Quaraun, in order to resurrect BoomFuzzy, murdered his wife and four children, than killed and ate his father, and than poisoned all the food in his village and sat on the king's throne and laughed while watching everyone frothing blood and coughing up their acid dissolved organs. He later murdered his 2 best friends BeaLuna and BullGaar. He makes and sells magic items to other wizards, but if you piss him off, he'll put a curse on the item before selling it to you, so that it turns into a mimic and eats you. He routinely hunts down Wood Elves, imprisons them, tortures them, then gives them to BoomFuzzy who cooks and eats them. A total male slut, Quaraun is prone to having affairs with anyone and everyone every time he angry at BoomFuzzy.

They are both, very bad people.

Does ANY of THIS sound like BDSM or Erotica to YOU?

Their relationship is not "cute" or "BDSM" even though it has been called both, by readers.

While they do both love each other and they are generally happy together, they are two very violent, high strung, temperamental, spiteful men. And their relationship is very violent and abusive.

And it seems that a lot of people can't tell the difference between an abusive relationship and BDSM. Likewise a lot of people can't seem to tell the difference between the horrors of rape and the pleasures of Erotica.

I feel that there is a rather disturbing trend the past 4 or 5 years, of authors writing weird abuse-based fetish sex and selling it as Erotica or Erotic Romance, which has lead to the trend in young readers, reading books like the Quaraun series and calling it's extreme levels of abuse "BDSM Erotica" without actually knowing what BDSM even is.

BDSM is consensual.

Abuse is not.

If a character is being taken advantage of by another character, that is NOT seduction, that is abuse.


I shouldn't need to say this as it should be plain and simple common sense, but...


ABUSE IS NOT BDSM!


AND


RAPE IS NOT EROTICA!

And if you think it is,

please get psychiatric help.

You NEED it!

HOW did Kendra Silvermander, ThingyChan, or their hoards of super-Christian, gay-hating, followers get the idea that anything in my life, let alone the Quaraun novels, were in any way connected to sex, BDSM, Erotica, or dominatrixes?

And WHY did their group of super-Christian, gay haters decide any of this was reason to blow up my house with a bomb, drive a backhoe over the house which replaced that house, trash my cars, or murder my family? 

They did these things saying citing that it was because I was: gay, trans, dominatrix, into BDSM, and wrote Erotica. And yet, I am/do NONE of those things!


Let me repeat this:


   *   They put a bomb in my house because they FALSELY CLAIMED I was: gay, trans, dominatrix, into BDSM, and wrote Erotica. And yet, I am/do NONE of those things!


   *   They drove a back hoe over my next house because they FALSELY CLAIMED I was: gay, trans, dominatrix, into BDSM, and wrote Erotica. And yet, I am/do NONE of those things!


   *   They trashed my cars - 5 of them - because they FALSELY CLAIMED I was: gay, trans, dominatrix, into BDSM, and wrote Erotica. And yet, I am/do NONE of those things!


   *   They MURDERED my children and nailed their heads to my door because they FALSELY CLAIMED I was: gay, trans, dominatrix, into BDSM, and wrote Erotica. And yet, I am/do NONE of those things!


What the fuck?

What is wrong with these people?

I CosPlay characters from the novels at book signings, lectures, writing workshops, carnivals, festivals, car shows, and YouTube-Twitch-gaming-geek-comic book conventions (ComicCon, etc)

Interestingly, this has caused some very WILD rumors about me.

Because I CosPlay male characters, many of Maine's ignorant locals call me trans, transgender, or transvestite, and this had lead to groups such as West Burrow Baptist Church, Curtis Lake Church, That Church (in Biddeford), Arundel Christian Tabernacle, and even my own church The Saco Ward of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, to arrive in massive and violent protests and riots on my farm. 

People often ask why I no longer attend the local Mormon Church (The Saco Ward of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), but as you recall, May 2010 this church was the one who cute my car (the 1964 Dodge 330) in half claiming it was demon possessed and that they had to kill the car in order to kill the demon in the car.

My Dazzling Razzberry was in the parking lot of his church when acid was poured on the windshield in 2016.

On 4 occasions between 2010 and 2017 my Volvo had all 4 tires slashed while parked here.

This is the church where a pair of missionaries, pushed me off the curb in front of a car.

This is the church my Volvo was at when the brake lines were cut: 13 times over the period of 7 years.

This is the church where my Volvo was parked when the power steering line was sawed off - 3 times in 4 years.

This is the church, who in 1994 gathered in my yard and beat my 27 year old horse to death, by smashing her in the face with large rocks.

Tis is the church, who bought all of my books from local bookstores and staged a book burning bonfire on my lawn - 8times since 2010, the most recent one in 2018.

The last time I attended, the Relief Society women, refused to allow me in the building, and had gathered a pile of rocks and were throwing them at me.

278 members of this church claim I am a witch, 14 families in this church claim I used curses to kill a member of their family, 16 bishops have been excommunicated for their involvement in hate crimes, 3 of those bishops were institutionalized at Pine Land Center (Maine's government run mental institute for the criminally insane), 3 members of this church including the Bishop who was also Old Orchard Beach's town manager have gone to prison for their hate crimes including the bomb that blew up my house, and the current bishop's younger brother is the "Corporal" of the local Neo-Nazi Organization and fronts some of the most violent Ku Klux Klan attacks east of the Mississippi.

I am a 5th generation LDS/Mormon and the only reason I no longer attend church is because it's rather expensive to pay on average $5k in repairs to my car every week and $200k in hospital bills every year, because of the extreme levels of violence committed by the members of this church.

In every case of a violent attack, members of these churches, make the false claim that I am gay, a witch, trans, or an Erotica author, and make the claim they were told this by God himself and that God instructed them to do the violent hate acts they committed. 

In one instance, they had even printed up INFO OFF OF THIS PAGE of my website, and claimed that that page was an "About Me" page. ... uhm... yeah, go look at which page it is, I'll wait.

Did you see WHICH page it is?

Yeah.

They printed up sections of that page, specifically the part about Quaraun being a castrated eunuch, not willingly, after people in his village hung him upside down naked in a tree and tortured him, than mutilated his genitals, and afterwards he became a serial killer to punish people who tortured gay men.

They printed up that section of that page, in 2015 and 2016, and posted flyers all over Southern Maine, saying that I, ME, not Quaraun, by EelKat, was a dangerous serial killer, out to kill all Christians, and was gathering up an army of gay men to to kill all non gays in Maine, out of vengeance for being a castrated man.

Yeah. I have copies of the flyers. Gene Libby gave them to me. Don't know HIM - oh just, you know - Google him. See WHO he is and WHAT he does? Yeah. The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall actually sued me for being "Too gay to live in the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach, where gays are not allowed to own houses, business, or property." And the PROFILE PAGE FOR A FICTIONAL CHARACTER was the evidence that their lawyer handed to the judge in court, while claiming that I WAS Quaraun... he used photos of my off the PortCon Convention website, there page where I was listed as a winner of best costume... and tried to tell the court that was me, every day.

It takes 4 hours to put the Quaraun CosPlay on, that's why I wear it at so few conventions. And that wig is a good 90F - it's almost impossible to wear that costume for more than 2 or 3 hours.

But the idiots who run the Town of Old Orchard Beach, can't separate a FICTIONAL ELF WIZARD from the author who wrote him.

Why?

Guess who else was involved?

Yep.

Kendra Silvermander. 

SHE is the one who printed up those flyers. No. This wasn't just some random internet troll. Kendra Silvermander is local. VERY local.

Walk out my driveway, turn right, keep going until you get to a little blue breakfast café. There she is. How long did it take you to get there? 3 minutes? 4 minutes? Yes, she's VERY local. One my street local.

She printed up tens of thousands of those flyers, put them on every telephone pole, every church, every mailbox, in every restaurant ... in York County.

When you ask HOW did it reach the point that 30,000 people arrived in my yard and trashed my farm... THAT is how.

Online, offline, she went on a vendetta.

And to this day, I still don't know why.

She is the source of every sex rumor about me. She is the source of the Erotica rumors, the gay rumors, the trans rumors, and she is the ring leader behind every violent attack....

...I've begged police for help for well over 2 decades now.



She's a stalker, with severe mental disorders.

   *   No one would help. Not even after the bomb blew up my house in October 16, 2006.

   *   No one would help. Not even after 75 pet roosters were beheaded, rope nooses tied round their necks and they hung in my rose bushes in 2007.

   *   No one would help. Not even after my car was cut in half in 2010.

   *   No one would help. Not even after the back hoe ran over my house August 8, 2013.

   *   No one would help. Not even after Kendra Silvermander herself, arrived at Southern Maine Community College, armed with golf clubs and attacked me, broken my spine, my hips, my knees, left me for dead, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months and spending 18 months relearning to walk, November 14, 2013.

   *   No one would help. Not even after my children were kidnapped April 10, 2015.

   *   No one would help. Not even after my children were murdered, their heads nailed to my door May 15, 2015.

   *   No one would help. Not even after Kendra Silvermander herself, arrived at Scarborough, WalMart, armed with a shopping cart and attacked me AGAIN, leaving me paralyzed AGAIN, June 26, 2016... this time damaging my spinal column, in addition to again breaking my spine, hips, and knees. I'm crippled for the rest of my life now.

There were witnesses for EVERY event, but no one ever helped. Not once. Not one single, solitary time, has ANYONE ever stepped up to help me.

Not once.

Everyone did exactly 2 things: They either turned a blind eye and said it wasn't their problem, or they they joined in and helped harass us.


April 10, 2015, we were attacked by 14 men armed with guns... and more than 70 of my neighbours, right here all the houses that can be seen from my address 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine... all came out of their houses, and stood in my driveway, while those 14 men, tied wire lines around our necks and beat us in the face with cinder block bricks, while holding hand guns to our heads.


^^^THAT^^^ is what Kendra Silvermander's sex lies about me caused.


Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

The problem with these attackers is can not see or hear them coming and I can not cry out for help.

I originally took up writing because I was mute.

I had no other way to communicate.

There are reasons why I was mute, which I won't go into here, but I talk about n detail on several other pages of my site, so it's easy enough to find out what happened.

I fact is, I was born with speech, hearing, and eye/seeing medical issues. 

I've had a slur/stutter since I was a baby. I still have it, though it's less now thanks to speech therapy classes I took in my 40s.

I am severely hearing impaired. I have been since I was born. As a child, I tested at having the hearing of a 60 year old, and it's grown worse over the years. Now 50 years later, I am almost deaf and do not hear people when they talk to me. I do more reading of lips than I do hearing of words, so you MUST be looking straight at me while you talk, and I MUST be looking at your face, otherwise, I will not hear a word you say and I will not know you said anything to me at all.

My inability to hear well causes more issues than my vision and speaking impairments.

Also I come from a culture where women are not allowed to speak unless a man gives them permission to, and she can not ask for permission. She must be given permission to even ask for permission. So I NEVER start/initiate conversations with ANY ONE... EVER. Before you can talk to me, you must get permission from a male relative to ask him for permission to speak to me, and if I am to answer you he must grant permission for that as well. Females have no freedom or rights in Gypsy culture. 

So, AFTER you get permission to speak to me, THAN you have to get my attention to get me to NOTICE that you are talking.

I can not hear you speak, I need to read your lips. But, I'm not allowed to look up, women are required to always look at the ground. 

One I'm looking at you, I can read your lips IF you are close enough to me. I can only see 18 inches in front of my face. Less than 2 feet. So you need to be VERY close to me before I can SEE you talking and try to translate what you are saying.

This process makes talking to anyone rather difficult for me and is why you see me talking on Twitch streams and YouTube videos, because I can face the camera and talk, but also why you see me NOT talking to actual people in face to face conversations, because I can not hear or see what you are saying, making it incredibly difficult for me to understand what you want and reply accordingly.

I've lived with this issue my whole life.

I don't know what it is like to see or hear normally the way fully sighted or fully hearing people can do. And as such, I have great difficulty in writing people/characters who have good vision or good hearing, and is WHY the bulk of the characters I write have hearing, speaking, and or vision issues. I write what I know.

I've been legally blind on one eye and nearly blind in the other eye since I was 8 years old, because again an uncle with masonry equipment beating me in the face.

I've suffered with Selective Mutism my whole life, I stull struggle with it to this day.

When I was 14 I suffered an injury that went ignored by adults. I became "near mute". Meaning nearly always mute and struggling to form fragmented phrases, let alone full sentences. 

I remained "near mute" until I was 42 years old, when I had an MRI for other things, and the MRI revealed, I had suffered a serious injury to my jaw, and no one thought to take me to the hospital.

At 42 years old, I had surgery on my jaw, replacing much of my jaw bone, reconstructing the muscles/bones/nerves, and the exhorbantly expensive root channels, removal, and porcelain replacement of 7 teeth from the canine tooth back to the morals.

Did you know, it cost over $2k for EACH replacement tooth, and I had to 7 of them. And that just EACH replacement tooth, that doesn't include the 7 root channels, the bone replacement surgery. It cost $14k just to replace the 7 teeth my Uncle Bruce shattered with a brick.

In total, with the MRIs, the spine surgery, the hip surgery, the knee surgery that I required because of Kendra and her golf clubs... in total it cost over $3MILLION to rebuild my bones.

And I don't have Medical Insurance, because my income is less than $4k a year and insurance at the cheapest with Obamacare is $237 a month.

And miraculously, a month later after the stitches were gone, the incisions healed, and swollen gone away... I was suddenly able to talk for the first time since the cinder block had been used to beat me in the face at 14 years old.

Today, I can talk, and I've been revealed to not be "retarded" as the adults had told every one I was for so many years.

Unable to talk, I was also unable to tell people how much pain I was in or that my uncle Bruce Mervin Atwater had beaten me in the face with a brick and broken my jaw and teeth.

I was treated by EVERYONE - family, friends, church, and strangers - as though I was too stupid to understand them, so no one talked to me, no one bothered to read what I wrote to find out I had a brain and was also in a lot of pain.

My parents told everyone I was too retarded to talk and no one bothered to question if maybe they were just saying that to hide their own abuse and neglect.

This the reality of being mute.

No one cares.

People think you are stupid.

And you have no one to turn to for help.

And you can't ask for help because you can't speak.

You can express yourself, but no one pays attention.

You can write words on paper. But no one bothers to read them.

When you are mute you are invisible to every one with a voice. And THAT is why people think they can get away with beating, abusing, and raping mute people. Because they know, no one cares. No one see our silent screams.

That's just the way it is.

And that is the problem with these attackers and their ability to so easily sneak up on me. I can not hear them coming, I can not see them coming, so they take me by surprise when they charge up behind me with golf clubs or shopping cart, because I had no idea they were there, no idea they were charging towards, me no time to get out of their way and being mute I can't scream for help,

I can not see or hear them coming and I can not cry out for help.

And people like Kendra Silvermander and my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, is they know I'm legally blind, they know I can't see them coming, they know I'm almost deaf, they know I can't hear them coming, and they know I'm mute, they know I can't scream for help, so they think they can beat me nearly and get away with it.  They think no one will ever find out what they did.

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

And you people who spread sex rumors and sex lies, know that every one of those rumors and lies were started by Mervin Bruce Atwater. A horrible, evil man, who devoted his life to sexually abusing children.

He started those rumors, after the FBI raid rescued us children, because he never expected us children to ever escape, to ever see the outside world, and knew he had to do something to pre-discredit those children, just in case one of them told anyone what he did to them.

The thing was, no one was talking. We all just wanted to recover, move on, and live a life free from his sexual tortures.

We wanted to forget Uncle Brucie even existed.

So had he not started the sex rumors, about me and the 140 others, none of us, me or them, would have ad any reason to speak out, because the attacks on us, by locals whom he instigated, locals like Kendra Silvermander, none of us ever would have talked to anyone about what happened.

Know your sources before you say something.

Know the source of everything you say, because you just might be quoting lies started by a pedophile, who started those lies to try to cover his ass.

Unlike Mervin Bruce Atwater, I have nothing to hide.


Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

Kendra Silvermander... what the fuck? You don't hire a hit man to blow up someone's house, because you don't like a novel they wrote!

Claudia ThingyChan ... what the fuck? You don't hire 5 men to gang rape someone one and vandalise they car, because you don't like a novel they wrote!

Are you both fucking retarded? What the fuck is wrong with you, and your shit head simps you paid to do these thing? 

I was astounded when I encountered one psychopath like this, but now a second one?

And, then to top it all off, you fucking murder my family?

What the fuck?

And your reason, is because your upset over my books being Erotica... what?

My books are not Erotica! You murdered my family because you thought I wrote Erotica, and I don't even write Erotica.

You were so damned stupid that you couldn't even take the time to READ one of my books, to find out what they were before you put a bomb in my house, kidnapped my children, cut their heads off, nailed their heads to my door, than trashed my car.

You were so hell bent on killing Erotica authors, punishing them on God's orders, that you couldn't even be bothered to find out what I even wrote.

You were so convinced that I wrote Erotica, you never even bothered to read one of my books, to see if you were right or not.

I still want to know, how the fuck, did you come to the conclusion that my books were Erotica to begin with.

I don't know if there's an actual name for what I do, but I usually call it "The Exploration Method". I don't know if it's common or unique. I don't know if others do it or not. I have never studied writing methods or how to plot or outline, so I can't really compare if what I do is similar to what others do or not.

I'm someone who in real life, travels in a motorhome, camps, hikes mountain trails, explores forests, visits tourists sites, and am prone to just get in the car and start driving, just to see where this road goes. When I first started writing, I was writing travel shorts for travel magazines. 

But than I discovered that I love building fictional fantasy worlds based off of real places I had visited or places I wanted to visit. And so I became one of those writers who world-builds endlessly and never wrote anything about that world. I'd create characters, build world, create characters, build worlds, travel around New England, write for travel magazines, build worlds, and than one day it occurred to me that I had all these places created, based off all these real world places I had visited, why don't I do something with it?

So, I started writing little short stories, about the characters I created, exploring the world I had created. I never set out to publish it. It was just quick little short stories that I wrote before bed every night because they were fun to write. Some friends from church wanted to read them, so I used a local copy shop to print up a few copies to hand out. Before long I was printing up a few hundred copies at a time and selling them at booths at local festivals. One thing led to another and it gains a following on a local level, and than word or mouth from my readers, caused out of state people to want it, so I started self publishing it, and over the years ebooks came to exist, and after about 30 years and 2,000 short stories it evolved into novels, and eventually it gained a rather large following, today 43 years later after starting the series, it has around 27,000 die hard fans/readers who buy every copy today, but it was never something I set out to publish at all, and even to this day, I don't try to make it "marketable" and I still write it same as I always did.

But the whole thing is literally just me grabbing a character and dropping them into a random location in my world I built, and just having them explore the land like a tourists on a hiking trip. So it has a lot of dialogue about random shit as the 2 or 3 characters hike, and lots of descriptions of the world in between. It's kind of straight up a travel blog by an Elf wizard and there's no real plot at all.

It's just plain fun to write. I get to "world build as I go" and I discover the world together with the Elf wizard, and it's like I'm there hiking with my best friend, in the fictional world I created. For me it's just super fun to write, and as I write for fun and not for money, it works for me.

I created the characters around 50 years ago, fell in love with them, and just started following them wherever they went. I've never used a plot or plan or outline. I never start with any ideas. I just write and see where it goes. Novels sometimes meander around aimlessly because of it, and at times readers complain about the extreme experimental plotless story-flow-style, but it's a pure adventure to write as I have no clue where the characters will go or what they will do or who they will meet. It's like I'm a reader, reading it for the first time and doesn't feel like I'm the writer. 

This probably wouldn't work for everyone. The only reason it works for me is I know the cast of characters inside out. I know them better than I know any real people in real life. There is one main character who is in every novel, his primary lover who is in almost every novel, his other lover who is in most novels, and than there is a rotating cast of about 20 characters who appear at random. So usually there will be 2 to 3 primary characters and 2 to 3 minor characters in each novel. I think, this method of "plotting" wouldn't work unless you had a cast of characters that you know really, really well, so you know what they would do, what they would say, and you never stop the flow of writing to ask yourself "What SHOULD they do next?" because you already know that character A when faced with random event X-Y-Z WOULD respond by doing ___.

Also while it's Epic Length High Fantasy, it steps VERY far outside the norm of what most mainstream Fantasy "formula" follows. It's written more like Days of Our Lives type Slice of Life Soap Opera TV Family Saga Drama, about Elves, Faeries, and Mages, and it doesn't have any of the typical action, adventure, quest seeking, monster hunting, kings/factions fighting for the crown that you normally see in Fantasy novels. So it very heavily character driven and focuses nearly 100% on character emotions to create conflict and push the story forward. So that too, I think lends itself to this "plotless" style of following the character and see what they do type of plotting/writing method.

But, I think the thing that makes it work best of all, is the actual writing style itself. The whole thing is written as though it was a travel blog. So for the reader, it's like going to a travel blog and reading the daily posts of the blogger while they hike across the country. The main character and his friends are "homeless" vagabonds, sleep on the road, and are just traveling around the world aimlessly with no goal of getting anywhere. They just hike the roads, and stop at tourists sites, talk with random people they meet along the way, it's just them going wherever the road takes them to see what they can find. The stories are very "literary slice of life" style, where not a lot of "action" happens, and it's mostly just 2 or 3 characters talking lazily while they lazily hike across the country. Most novels literally take place in the space of only a couple of hours. Rarely does a novel span a full day or more than one day, and usually it's a line by line look at the every day details of their "dull, boring, eventless" every day lives. So, it's also very much NOT for every reader either, very niche.

Well, it's not ALL totally random. I subscribe to travel type magazines, like National Geographic (which is my fave magazine and the one I use most often for this) and I've got thousands of issues dating all the way back to the 1970s. I've never thrown away any of my travel magazines. So, what I'll do is, I'll grab a magazine at random, don't even look to see which one it is. Than I open it to any random page, and look at the photo on that page. It might be a bird standing in a swamp, or a homeless child sleeping on a garbage heap, or a snow covered mountain, or the damage done by a typhoon... it doesn't matter what it is, whatever it is, that's what I start off with.

I start every novel the same way: main character and crew are sitting around talking (usually at a campsite in the forest or at a table in a tavern) and whatever the magazine picture was, that somehow becomes their focus. Maybe one of them hears a bird and they decide to trek to the swamp to look at it, or they look out the window and see a homeless child sleeping in the garbage and decide to bring him inside and buy him a meal, or they see a snow covered mountain in the distance and decide to hike to it, or they have just arrived in a town decimated by a typhoon. And from there, I just start writing at random, letting the character conversation take the lead.

Like I said, this style of plotless writing probably won't work for everyone, and it may not work well with every genre. And also, if you were aiming to make a career out of writing, this method is probably the exact opposite of what you should do. It works for me, because I just write for myself and self publish it, and if a few people like it, great, and if it never sells or makes money, well it's no big deal, because I had fun writing it and having fun while I write it is my own goal.

For me, it's fun to write this way, because it let's me do massive amounts of world building, and then just drop my characters into the world and use them as tools to explore every corner of the world. This method would work well for people like myself who spend hours world building and just want to explore the world after building it. But for someone looking to make a serious career of writing serious novels for the mainstream genre market, this method probably wouldn't work well for them.

^^^THAT^^^ is what you fucking ass retards are claiming is Erotica.

A vagabond, Elf wizard, hiking across the country, and blogging about the landscape. You called THAT Erotica, and than you killed my family because you convinced your fucking retarded mind that it's okay to kill the families of Erotica authors. But than I'm not even an Erotica author at all, so you murdered the wrong fucking family, you stupid dick heads!

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

How is it, that peoples reading comprehension is so horrifically illiterately bad, that they mistake the Quaraun books as Erotica?

And than, how much MORE retarded to you have to be to go to that author's house, blow it up with a bomb, murder her children, nail their heads to the door, and trash her car... all because you THOUGHT she wrote Erotica ... when she didn't write Erotica at all, and you're just a retarded jackass who murdered her family because you saw sex in places there was no sex, just like you saw white people in places where there were no white people.

Well, before we answer that, let's look another thing that commonly gets said by readers.

Readers who are seeing things in my books, which I did not write, things that are NOT in my books... like sex and white people.

Yeah.

Did you know there are no WHITE or CAUCASION characters in the Quaraun series, at all. Not one?

Quaraun himself is said to be "white" only because he is an albino. He not by RACE, white, but rather, me the author, Quaraun is a Gypsy with very pale skin. And a lot of readers don't notice that either and will than send me an email asking: "Why does Quaraun travel in a Gypsy Vardo/Covered wagon? Why doesn't Quaraun live in a house? Why is Quaraun always on the road? Why does Quaraun sleep outdoors? Why does Quaraun sleep in a bight coloured circus tent? Quaraun seems like a Gypsy, is he?"

Uhm... Oh ... I don't know... maybe PAY ATTENTION to WHAT I WROTE. Every chapter of every volume of 138 novels outright calls Quaraun a gypsy, and the author bio states that much of Quaraun's Gypsy culture is based off the author's real world Gypsy culture, you know because, I'm the author and I'm a Gypsy, so I write a character who is a Gypsy, because I write what I know and I don't know the first thing about writing white people.

But before we look at HOW people mistake the Quaraun series as Erotica, let's look at how people also mistake main character BoomFuzzy, a BLACK man, with waist length dreadlocks, as being Caucasian.

It's funny to me, to see how many people crap on main character Quaraun, wearing a pink dress, or other main character BoomFuzzy, being black, or both of them for being gay.

The thing that gets me, is HOW LONG it takes readers to realize that King Gwallmaiic: The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, is black.

Volume 22.

Yes. They read 22 volumes of the series before they realize BoomFuzzy is black.

How?

How do you read 22 volumes of a series of novels and not know that one of the 2 main characters is black? How fucking retarded are you, to read 22 novels and NOT KNOW the main character is black?

Look at how I write my dialogue.


"Blah, blah, blah," said Quaraun.

"Blah, blah, blah," replied BoomFuzzy.

"Blah, blah, blah," the blue eyed Elf bemoaned.

"Blah, blah, blah," laughed the black skinned Phooka.

"Blah, blah, blah," said the pink robed Necromancer.

"Blah, blah, blah," replied candy maker as his braided his woolly dreadlocks.

"Blah, blah, blah?" Quaraun asked.

"Blah, blah, blah," BoomFuzzy answered.

"Blah, blah, blah," said the albino Moon Elf.

"Blah, blah, blah," replied the black trickster Fae.


And the Quaraun novels are 74% straight up, pure dialogue. Most of them go on for 100+ page stretches of full dialogue with ZERO narration at all.

And EVERY said tag, includes descriptors.

I just checked, just now, Volume 1 The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, described BoomFuzzy as BLACK 5,678 times.

Let me repeat that:

#Volume 1 The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, describes BoomFuzzy as having BLACK skin 5,678 times.

And EVERY novel in the series is like that.

So WHY do readers, read through 22 volumes, and NOT NOTICE until GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover, that BoomFuzzy is a black man?

The N-word.

Yeah.

In volume 22, GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover, there a scene, where Quaraun and BoomFuzzy cast a spell wrong, and they end up sucked into a portal and land in the battlefield in an unnamed Southern state, in the American Civil War. At first the duo are mistaken for a wealthy plantation women and her black slave, but the Confederate soldiers quickly release Quaraun is a man, and BoomFuzzy is the dominate one pulling the strings. So the soldiers now believe that Quaraun is crossdressing to pretend to be a wealthy planation owner, to help the Underground Railroad to help smuggle black slaves to the North.

One thing leads to another and a solider takes to pushing Quaraun around, calling him "a niger lover" while beating him up. Quaraun getting hurt, incites BoomFuzzy to attack the soldiers, killing one of them to save Quaraun from being killed. Which causes the Captain to order his men to "kill the fucking niger".

It is the scene of white Confederate soldiers calling Quaraun a "niger lover" and the men being ordered to "kill the fucking niger", that is when MOST readers, suddenly realize: "Wait! OMG! Is BoomFuzzy a black man? Why was this only just being revealed now 22 volumes into the series? I should have been told up front in volume 1!"

You were.

In Chapter 1 of Volume 1, The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, Quaraun enters a tavern, and is immediately taken back by the sight of a BLACK man sitting at the back of the room, in a town where everyone else is white, in a time period when BLACK people are seen as slaves. Quaraun outright says this to the reader.

In this scene which introduces BoomFuzzy, right at the start of the series, Quaraun makes a point of going to other side of the room, to avoid the BLACK man, who is sitting by himself. It's noticeable that Quaraun is very racist. People in the tavern even call him out on it. The BLACK man sees this white man being harassed, and leaves his table to try to speak to him. Quaraun, ignores the BLACK man and mentally tells the reader he wants the BLACK man to leave him alone.

When the BLACK man asks Quaraun why Quaraun won't speak to him, Quaraun outright turns around to face the BLACK man and says: "Because you are BLACK, and apparently also Asian judging from your eyes."

To which the BLACK man responds: "Aye. Me father were BLACK. Me mother were Japanese. I tinks. Maybe Chinese. Suppose it could of been Mongolian."

In fact here: read those scenes for yourself: All of these come from Chapter One of Volume One The Night of the Screaming Unicorn:

Quaraun simply froze in the doorway, shocked and unable to move, unable to think or respond, and could do nothing but stare at the evil Faerie sitting far into the back of the room, skulking in the shadows and avoiding the rest of the people in the building.

Phookas were Scottish Faeries that had more in common with demons than the rest of the densins of Fae. Phookas were shape shifters, most taking the forms of black birds, black horses, or sometimes black Humans. Like vampires they lusted insatiably after blood fresh from the vein and were known to slaughter entire families in horrific bloodbaths. 

“A Phooka in a public place is never a good sign, for no good thing associated with something as evil and accursed as a Phooka.”

BoomFuzzy was the only Phooka Quaraun was interested in. All other Phookas, the nervous little Elf wanted nothing to do with.

While most Phookas were content to remain in a single form, never changing, BoomFuzzy, King Gwallmaiic, was a shape shifter with many forms, and shifted daily, sometimes hourly changing bodies the way a woman changed dresses. He could and often did look like any one of any race he wanted to be. The body the old shape shifter wore today, looked like a dark skinned Human, with a wild mess of black unbrushed frizzy braids and dreadlocks that hung to his waist and were stuck full of bones, feathers, beads, ribbons, and twigs. 


Quaraun stared, mesmerized at the Phooka’s wild hair. Massive, unbrushed frizzy braids and dreadlocks that hung to his waist and were stuck full of bones, feathers, beads, ribbons, and twigs. All marks of Scottish Hoodoo Cloutie Magic. And looked exactly like BoomFuzzy’s hair. This Phooka’s hair and it’s similarity to BoomFuzzy’s stopped Quaraun in his tracks, and left the Elf unable to think or move or even remember why he had entered the building at all.

“BoomFuzzy,” the Moon Elf whispered.

The hair was distinctive. While most Faeries were known to have wild, unbrushed hair, Faeries were very obsessive in sticking to rigid rituals. The career of a Fae could be identified by the style of their hair. Items woven into their braids, told the onlooker what their job was. Even a shape shifter would not style their hair differently when looking like someone else.

A Phooka might change form to look like your mother, but you would be able to tell your mom from the Phooka, by the messy hair. You would wonder why your mom had suddenly taken to styling strange plaits of red ribbons in her hair.

No matter the form he took, King Gwallmaiic always kept his hair, exactly the same. The black unicorn. BoomFuzzy the half-Elf candy maker. The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley. Quaraun had seen all three and all three had the exact same hair. Even the little black unicorn, his mane and tail had been King Gwallmaiic’s natural hair.

Quaraun stared at the Phooka sitting before him and recognized the bits of brick a brack in the Phooka's hair as Cloutie Magic immediately. That marked the Phooka as magic user, a wizard of some sort. 

A Necromancer. 

BoomFuzzy.

BoomFuzzy’s hair.

The same bones.

The same braids.

Strips of grey and purple wool, woven into the braids to make them bigger, thicker, wilder.

The thing which startled Quaraun, though he refused to admit it, was not the presence of the Phooka, but rather the Phooka's eyes. Those strange haunting pupiless black eyes which Quaraun knew so well. 

BoomFuzzy. 

No matter what form, BoomFuzzy took, two things about him never changed: his massive wave of frizzy dreadlocks filled with Cloutie ribbons and his gleaming, almond shaped black eyes. Regardless of any other racial features, white skin, black skin, tan skin, brown skin, red skin, yellow skin, gold skin, BoomFuzzy's eyes made him look Asian. 

As a Moon Elf, BoomFuzzy had resembled more of a Half-Elf, appeared to be half Chinese Human. Mongolian, BoomFuzzy had called it. He had lived in Mongolia for many years, long before Quaraun was born. Quaraun had always found BoomFuzzy's eyes hypnotic. 

Quaraun's stunned response to this creature, was the fact that, while it looked nothing like BoomFuzzy, at the same time, it looked everything like BoomFuzzy, had BoomFuzzy's eyes and BoomFuzzy's passion for dreadlocks filled with random items.

BoomFuzzy's black demonic eyes had no whites and no iris, and were like staring into two black bottomless pits. He could have passed for a Moon Elf if not for his eyes, his piranha-like fangs, and the huge, fearsomely, sharp eagle talons which tipped each finger. 



This Phooka, looked so much like BoomFuzzy. His black eyes had no whites and no iris, and were like staring into two black bottomless pits. 

The Phooka could have passed for Human if not for his eyes, his piranha-like fangs, and the huge, fearsomely, sharp eagle talons which tipped each finger. He was dressed head to toe in a miss-matched patchwork of mostly black and dark brown furs, mostly skins in their natural forms with heads and legs still attached.

He looked so much like BoomFuzzy that, Quaraun nearly fainted at the sight of him. But BoomFuzzy was dead. BoomFuzzy had died, 300 years ago. This could not be him. Quaraun told himself, this wasn’t BoomFuzzy, and yet, somehow, he knew it was. BoomFuzzy. Back from the grave. Alive again. Or undead. A Lich? That was the rumour wasn’t it? That BoomFuzzy had become a Lich?



The presence of a Phooka puzzled Quaraun for a few moments, but as the Phooka seemed to be skulking in a dark corner keeping to itself, as any Phooka would be expected to do. 

Quaraun presumed the dark creature wished to stay away from the others, meaning the Phooka very likely had also come in to get out of the oncoming storm and would not cause any trouble.

Quaraun stared at the Phooka. Every bit of him was black. His skin, his hair, his eyes, his clothes. He was dressed all in black, every inch of him draped in ragged, frayed, black garb, heavily trimmed in thick shaggy black fur. His long, black, shaggy, waist length hair and looked as though it had never seen a hairbrush the way it was tousled about every which way. The Phooka’s hair was nearly as black as his dark golden brown skin.

Quaraun cringed at the thought of unbrushed hair. He devoted three hours each morning to smoothing his long glorious milky white locks. The Phooka's deep, dark golden brown skin was a stark contrast to Quaraun's albino white flesh. 

Their eyes meet. 

Quaraun shivered. 

The Phooka's thin almond shaped eyes were as black as a bottomless pit and completely lacking any whites or colour. With the realization that Quaraun's attention was on him, the Phooka's expression grew very grim. 

Quaraun quickly turned away from the creature. It just would not do to anger a Phooka.


Quaraun made a point of going to other side of the room, to avoid the black skinned Phooka, who was sitting by himself. It was noticeable that Quaraun was very racist. People in the tavern even called him out on it. Quaraun made no secret at all, of the fact that the black man on the other side of the room bothered him. 

A few of the Gnomes chided Quaraun, as he slid passed their crowded area, rather than walk-through the open spaces around the black man’s table. The black Phooka seeing this white Elf being harassed, on his account left his table to try to speak to Quaraun. 

Quaraun, ignored the black Phooka. 

Please leave me alone, Quaraun thought in his mind, but remained silent.

“Why ya no speak to me?” the black man asked the white Elf.

Quaraun turned to face the Phooka and said: "Because you are black, and apparently also Asian judging from your eyes."

Now this wasn’t exactly true. Quaraun didn’t care if the man was black, brown, white, or purple. The fact that the man was not a man, but rather a Phooka pretending to be a man, is what was really upsetting Quaraun, but Quaraun blamed it on the man’s skin colour, because he was uncertain if anyone else in the room knew this was a Phooka. Quaraun was a Fae Sighted wizard after all and he could see through Faerie illusions. And this was a white dominated region in a time period when white Humans, were keeping black Humans as slaves. So it was logical for a white man like Quaraun to put blame on a black man like this Phooka, for anything and everything. And while Quaraun was not himself racist, he knew he had to appear racist in order to not raise suspicion.

So, Quaraun ignored the Phooka and turned back to the Rock Gnome and was about to speak, but the Phooka grasped Quaraun's long billowing pink sleeve with its black taloned hand and pulled him aside away from the Gnome, pulling him away from everyone in the building. The little creature was far stronger then he looked, the tiny Phooka had the strength of a Mountain Troll, which caught Quaraun by surprise. The little Elf had not expected a Fae so small to have such strength.

"Yis from de Far North, eh?" Hissed the beast, as his gleaming red snake-like tongue flicked from his mouth and licked Quaraun's face.

"Is there any other type of North?" Quaraun shuddered at the up close sight of the beast's many rows of long sharp piranha-like fangs. 

Quaraun turned away from the Phooka again, hoping it would go back to its table and leave him be. But the creature did not let go of his arm and pulled him back.

"Ya be such a pretty Elf. So sweet like candy. I loves candy. Taffy?” 

The Phooka handed a bowl of salt water taffy to the Elf.

“One must never take food from Faeries.”

“One usit love candy from Faeries.”


Quaraun was taken back by the Rock Gnome's harsh and very and-Gnome-like attitude. Gnomes were typically pleasant and jovial, this one was clearly irritated, perhaps the tavern was not always this busy and the little old man was just stressed, but still he did seem openly hostile at the thought of an Elf in his establishment.

"I'm sorry, are Elves not welcomed here?" Quaraun asked, now worried there may be a darker reason why this village had no Elves.

For some reason Quaraun had forgotten that Elves had gone extinct, and he was the last Elf left. But a sword through the belly will have that effect on someone. Quaraun was in desperate pain just now and was focused more on finding a place where he could be alone to tend to his wounds. Thinking about anything else was not a priority at the moment.

Quaraun was not a quick thinking. Things that startled him, left him slow to answer. 

While Quaraun thought what to do, the black skinned, black eyed, black haired, black robed Phooka slunk from his table in the back corner and now stood uncomfortably close to Quaraun, forcing his face just inches from Quaraun's. 

Quaraun, being an Elf, was not very tall. And he was small for an Elf. The average Human male would have towered over him by several inches. The Phooka, as was typical of all races of Faerie, was even shorter than the Elves were and like the little candy maker, BoomFuzzy, this one seemed shorter than most. He was barely five feet tall, if he was that. The little Phooka had to stand on tip-toe to speak to Quaraun face to face.

"Where bes ya from, Stranger?" Asked the black Phooka. 

The Phooka, being originally from Alba, spoke with a thick Scottish accent. The Phooka spoke to Quaraun in the Elf's native tongue, which Quaraun did not think strange, though he should have, given that the Moon Elves had died out three centuries ago, Quaraun being the last, and with them, their ancient Elven language had died out with them. 




“Please, I need to find a room, I can't stop to chat with you.”

“Yis can stay me. No more lonely nights, eh?”

“I don’t know you.”

“Is ya certain?”

“I think I would remember an Asian Black man, don’t you?”

"Aye. Me father were black. Me mother were Japanese. I tinks. Maybe Chinese. Suppose it could of been Mongolian."

"You don't know?"

"No. They killed her. She wasn't black enough for 'em."

"For who?"

"Me father's family. Phookas, ya know. Bigger racists dan ya Elves is."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Elves are cruel. Phookas crueller."

"Aye. Does na know how we ever find out. I twere small child when she died. Beat her to death dey did. Course we did eats dem after, so, dey got dair due."

"You ate your family?"

"Me father ate me mother, so I ate me father. What good for goose be good for gander, eh?"

"I suppose."

"Two peas in a pod we are."

"How so?"

"Is ya not Quaraun de Insane? Elf what ate him father. Un all de other Moon Elves. Un well, all de Elves. Yis the Last Moon Elf."

"I'm the Last Elf."

"Because ya ate de rest."

"I'm a vegetarian."

"Who eats Elves."

"They deserved it."

"Did dey?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"They were bullies. One must never suffer a bully to live."

"No?"

"No. Kill them all. Bullies must die."

"My, my. Ain't we an evil one."

"I'm not evil."

"No?"

"No."

"I suppose no villain tinks dey is."

"Are you suggesting I'm a villain?"

"Yis a cannibalistic racist, what has gone done devoted hims life to killing bullies."

"Are you suggesting this is wrong?"

"Not denying ya does those tings?"

"No. Why should I?"

"No reason, I suppose. Humans is bigger bullies dan Elves. Now what all 'em Elves is dead, ya gonna kill de Humans next?"

"No."

"No? Why not?"

"Because I'm on my way to Ivujivik."

"Inuvik?"

"No, Ivujivik."

"Quebec?"

"Yes. Ivujivik, Quebec. It is where I was born. It is where BoomFuzzy died."

"Dat de deep, Deep North. Noting up dair but snow and Santy Claws un me cousin Krumpas. Ain't seen him a while. Maybe I goes wid ya. Visit Krumpas while we dair. What ya going to do up dair?"

"Kill myself."

"Ah. I see. De anniversary of BoomFuzzy's suicide is soon, is it not?"

"It is."

"Ya've not dwelt wid hims death well, have ya?"

"No."

"Why are going to kill yaself?"

"So I can be with BoomFuzzy again."

The Phooka fell silent.


“Hello! Elf? Is ya even hearing me? House falling out of sky? Gone off lost in hims own heid agains. Usit do that all the time I remembers to. Never knowing there be a world around him.”

The Phooka pointed up at the ceiling as he spoke. 

"Ya know what else I knows Elf? Yis an Elf who eats Elves. We can smell it in you blood."

The black skinned Phooka looked over at the Rock Gnome: “I should fucking drop a house on his head, see if he notices that. I done that a'forah ya know. Never noticit a thing, him did.”

“I think he's in shock over the chiries,” the Rock Gnome answered.

“Elf! Hey!” The Phooka clapped his hands in front of the Elf's nose. “Do houses fall out of the sky much wheres ya come from, eh? No? Nothing? Ah! Let's say we eat the Elf, hims be too stupid to turn around an walk out of here, even after hims be been told Elves ain't no welcomed.”

“A gingerbread house fell out of the sky,” Quaraun muttered.

The Phooka got up and stood on his tip-toes to be nose to nose with Quaraun.

“Arrogant an stupid. That be what ya be. Arrogant an stupid. That be what the Elves is,” he said to the Elf. “Think their beauty gives them the right to walk on everybody. And they is too self-centred to notice what be going on around. Usit see Elves all the time when I twere young. Haven't seen an Elf since I grew old. But ya, Elf from the North, yis different. Ya ain't dressit likes no Elf I did has seen a'forah. The Elves around here wore birch bark an leaves, as I recall. They hide in the bushes an live in the trees. And they darker skin, not so dark as mine..."

"Wood Elves? What you are describing are Wood Elves. I am not a Wood Elf. They are black like you. Do I look black to you?" That came out sounding much more arrogant than Quaraun had intended, but be as it may, Moon Elves were arrogant and thought themselves better than other Elf clans.

"Oh, we is seeing that much, at least, can we not, eh? Haha!" 

The Phooka looked around the room and laughed heartily. Everyone in the room laughed with him. All together at the same time in unnatural unison.

"Wood Elves just does not wears pink, me thinks no, eh? Bowl of chiries?"

The Phooka suddenly had a bowl of cherries in his hand. Quaraun could have sworn it wasn't there a minute ago.

“I didn't...I'm not hungry, I'm tired...”

“Tired, oooh, well that explains it.”

“Explains what?”

“Ya has no heard half a word I did has said. Though ya heard chiries both time. Ya got a dirty mind. Haha! Good thing I were'na talking about apricots, eh?”

"Apricots?"

The Phooka handed Quaraun a box of chocolates. Quaraun stared, dumbfounded at the box. He hadn't seen one like it in years, not since his lover BoomFuzzy the candy maker had died over 200 years ago. Across the box in bright gold letters it read: 

BOOMFUZZY'S CHOCOLATE COVERED APRICOTS. 

Quaraun felt faint. 

"Only the bestest, for an Elf likes ya."

The Phooka burst out laughing. When the Phooka started laughing, so did everyone else in the building. All at once. All at the same time. All the same way.

Quaraun looked at the box again. It still had BoomFuzzy's name written across the top in friendly gold letters.

"BoomFuzzy,” Quaraun whispered.

“Aye,” answered the Phooka. “Chocolate cover apricots, gingerbread houses falling from de sky. Me doubled black dicks chasing ya pearly white ass. And me purple puppy dogs wagging their tails, happy to be home. This is the Forest of No Return. Ya shoulds have notice dat by now. Someting do be amiss wid ya.”

“Where did you get this?” Quaraun did not notice the reference to the puppies which had been running across his map earlier.

“I made it. Plenty more wheres that came from. I is a candy maker, remember? We usit have a gingerbread house to sell them out of but some crazy Elf went an shrunk it an put it in a bottle. Shrunk me too for a while. Stuck me in a bottle. Poor thing went an lost hims mind. Shrunk everyone an put them in bottles. Cut the heads off some first. Poor Gibedon...”

“Gibedon!” Quaraun reached into his pink beaded heart shaped bag of holding and pulled out the long dehydrated head of a half-Elf. “I still have his head.”

“Oh my!” The Phooka took a few steps back away from Quaraun. “Dat ya do. Why does ya still have Gibedon’s head?”

“I don’t know... I ... he... BoomFuzzy... I...” Quaraun shoved the severed head back in his bag.

“Ya ain’t gots me gingerbread house in dair still, has ya?”

“I killed Gibedon.”

“Dat ya did.”

“I’d never killed any one before.”

“Yes, ya had. Yar killed de Di’Jinn.”

“No. I mean... the Di’Jinn. That was magic. I didn’t mean to kill them. I was young. I wasn’t trying to kill them. I just didn’t have enough training back than. I didn’t know how to use magic properly yet. The Di’Jinn was an accident. But not Gibedon. I went to his bedroom, stabbed him and his lover. I cut off Gibedon’s head. I was going to kill them both.”

“I knows. I was dair.”

“I couldn’t kill BoomFuzzy. And after I killed Gibedon ... I immediately regretted it, but by than it was too late. And after that BoomFuzzy killed himself and it was my fault. I should not have killed Gibedon. BoomFuzzy would still be alive. He wouldn’t have killed himself.”

Quaraun burst into tears.

The Phooka stared silently at the tiny bag, only big enough to hold a few coins, yet big enough on the inside to hold Gibedon’s head.

After a few minutes of silence, the Phooka went back to speaking to the Rock Gnome.

“Hims got tadpoles for brains ya know, does'na know what hims doing half the time, eh? Poor lil crazy Elf.” 

“BoomFuzzy made these.” Quaraun held up the box of chocolates.

“I know.”

“And there’s a jellyfish in my brain, not tadpoles.”

“Oh? So ya heard me. Who of thunk?”

“You didn't make these.” Quaraun was focused on the box of chocolates again.

“Aye I dids.”

“BoomFuzzy made these.”

“Aye. Hims did. I am he.”

“You're not BoomFuzzy.”

“Ah, ya gone an banged ya noggin' agains, eh? Who gone done it this time? Ye ain't got no Moon Elves left to hang ya up in trees, ya done gone went an killed all them.”

“These aren't real,” Quaraun said as he aimed to throw the box.

“That be a right fool thing to do, eh?” The Phooka grabbed the box. “These is hard to make. Lich trees is hard to come by, ya know?”

“You got in my head to trick me somehow.”

“Ya gone got paranoid in ya olde age, eh?”

“You're an Elf Eater. You're from the Elf Eater clan."

"Of course I is. Ya would no sees a Phooka black as me in any other tribe would ya? We is de blackest Phookas of dem all."

“You're an Elf Eater."

"Oh that I is. I is. Just like ya BoomFuzzy were. Of coursing I is ya BoomFuzzy un yar just refusing to believes dat.”

And OMG! Don't even get me started on how BoomFuzzy talks and the onslaught of hate email I get over him being what some people refer to as "the accent character trope".                            

I did not learn how to speak or write American English until ... wait for it: 2010.

I didn't even meet an American and find out that American English existed until 1996.

And the BULK of the Quaraun series was written between 1978 and 1987... LONG before I knew American English.

I've had a lot of people say stuff like this about one of my characters, BoomFuzzy, complaining that he "talks funny for no reason" or "what is the weird accent you gave him and why, I can barely understand what BoomFuzzy's saying" or "all BoomFuzzy's dialogue is in reverse negative, BoomFuzzy's talking backwards, why did you do that" and I always roll my eyes, because, OMG! BoomFuzzy's speaking MY NATIVE LANGUGE - AN ACTUAL REAL WORLD LANGUAGE - one you can learn, buy dictionaries for and everything. Fact remains American English is not my native tongue and the novels were originally written in my native language. 

Let me repeat that:

In the original untranslated 1st editions the entire novel, was written the way BoomFuzzy speaks ... all of them!

Well, this one character is the same race as me, so when the books were translated into English, I asked that BoomFuzzy's dialogue not be touched, and it left exactly as it was written. But if you read the old untranslated into American English editions, you would see that the ENTIRE novel was originally written in the language seen in BoomFuzzy's dialogue.

He speaks the same language I do, and the 1st editions of the novels were WRITTEN ENTIRLY in that language. Later editions were translated into American English and left BoomFuzzy's dialogue as the only dialogue untranslated.

A lot of people say he talks strange... well... yeah you know what? I think Americans talk strange. So how is that different? Anything not your native tongue comes off sounding strange if you are not familiar with it. 

But OMG! So many people will ask me: 

"Why did you make up such a weird language?"

"Why are you using a fictional language?"

"Why'd you write him with a wonky accent?"

*rolls eyes*

He speaks in Gypsy Cant also known as Scottish English. It's a REAL language. Spoken by a few million people in the real world. Not only that it's my NATIVE language, the language ALL of my family and my relatives and friends and neighbours ALL speak every day. It is NOT made up, fictional, or "wonky accent" like some ignorant people have described it.

I just think it's funny, that so many authors will make up fake languages, to the extent that readers don't recognize a REAL WORLD language when they see it.

Of course, I think it's equally as funny that people who don't speak American English are even a trope at all, I mean, how many people reading this right now speak American English as their native language? Why shouldn't authors write characters who speak the same native tongue the author speaks? 

I think the problem, why this became a trope, is because so many people make up fake fantasy languages to make their characters sound cool, hip, and trendy, that characters who actually speak real world languages, just get assumed to be speaking fictional accent to sound cool. Which is frustrating for those of us who don't speak American English as our native language, and we want to include a character who is our real world race/culture because we identify with our own native culture/race/language, and we get tossed into the "oh that's just an accent character trope". 

:(

It makes me sad to think that my race is so rarely seen in novels and is used so tropishly when it is used, that when an actual Gypsy, writes and actual Gypsy character, speaking actual real world Gypsy language, he gets seen as a trope and nothing more (which is a thing people have said. I've gotten emails from readers saying: "You shouldn't write Gypsies that way, real Gypsies wouldn't like it" and I'm just.... uhm... you know I AM a real world Gypsy and he does and says things me and my family do in real life, right?

Oh well. It's not as bad as the email I got saying: "Wait, are Gypsies real? I thought they were just some fictional fantasy race like Elves and Unicorns. I had no idea they were real people."

*sigh*

But than there are the people who get all pissed off, when they realize BoomFuzzy is black AND he talks "with an accent". OMG! Hell fire inferno in my inbox than!

"YOU CAN"T MAKE A BLACK PERSON TALK WITH AN ACCENT...." all caps and the entire email typed in the subject line.

*bangs head on wall*

You DO know that a lot of us Gypsies are BLACK, right?

Are you aware that I am 1/4 black, myself?

It's WHY my hair turns into massive dreadlocks if I go a couple of hours without brushing it.

My grandmother Eva Viola Dyer LittleJohn Atwater had a mother who was full blooded 100% Kickapoo Native American and a father who was 100% full blooded black Voodoo Priest from Haiti.

Hey guess what else, just like me, BoomFuzzy in part black, part Asian, part middle-eastern, and part Native American. And I wrote him that way, because that's what race I am.

You know what I hate?

I hate when a white person who doesn't have clue what it is to be black, red, brown, yellow, gay, bi, whatever, barges in all high and mighty and does the whole: "Now listen up, you can't write about this minority that way, blah, blah, blah..." 

Guess what? I don't need your racist white ass coming in here and telling me how to write a character who is the exact same race and culture as I am.

I am so damned sick of so called social justice warriors parading their white asses around, claiming to be fighting for minority rights, when all they are REALLY doing, is being white bastards running around telling color people how to live, LIKE USUAL.

Yeah, so fuck off and burn in hell.

If you are offended by my race, my skin colour, my native language, my religion, my dreadlocked hair, or my anything else, - that's YOUR problem, not mine. You're a loser, you need to get a life. I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. No one can.


But here's the kicker... you can tell a reader who only read SAMPLE CHAPTERS from a reader who read the ACTUAL NOVELS, by how they respond to BoomFuzzy and how he talks.

You see, people who ACTUALY READ the novels, know full well, that BoomFuzzy can talk just fine, when he wants to, and that his accent, is totally fake.

And you will also see that BoomFuzzy NEVER CALLS QUARAUN INSANE. And this is VERY important.

Quaraun is perceived to be insane, by pretty much the entire planet, to the point that he is dubbed on his wanted posters as: Quaraun The Insane"

Quaraun hates being calls "insane". In fact, calling Quaraun "insane" is the #1 way to get Quaraun to kill you.

Quaraun does not call himself "Quaraun the Insane" and we see scenes of him going through cities, looking for the wanted poster, crossing out the words "The Insane" and writing under it "I'm not insane."

Real insanity goes by several names depending on the type:

   *   Dementia

   *   Alzheimer's

   *   Parkinson's

   *   Schizophrenia

   *   Bi-Polar

   *   Dissociative Identity Disorder


Are the most common forms of "insanity" and one of those 6 are usually what people actually mean when they say "insane". There are 862 actual medical diagnoses that are classified as "forms of insanity" so, definitely too many to list or go into detail about here.

As a reader I often complain at the lack of research authors do when it comes to insanity. You SHOULD research actual medical journals and studies into real world actual "insanity" cases, before writing it, because it can often be written in horrifyingly offensive ways. But few authors do, and it shows.

The Quaraun series has won awards for the extreme levels of accuracy it uses in showing Quaraun's "insanity" from his perspective vs showing how other characters perceive him as and call him "insane".

My main character for all 138 novels and 2,000+ short stories in the series, Quaraun, is generally described as "insane" by other characters, but what he actually has is Dementia and Kannar's Syndrome and Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.

 I spent over 20 years researching real patients of all 3, interviewing actual doctors, patients, and families to make sure I got it right, when I wrote a character who was seen as "insane" by the rest of the cast of characters.

I highly recommend doing ACTUAL research before writing any medical disorder of any kind. And by research, I mean, NOT the internet, but rather actual medical journals, go to your local hospital and explain you are a writer looking to research - most big hospitals have an extensive library of medical books and journals that their staff references, ask to interview doctors who specialize in the disease, ask them to recommend patients and families willing to be interviews, ask them to recommend nursing homes, rehab centers, and mental health institutes. Once you start asking around, you'll quickly find hundreds, even thousands of people willing to talk to help you get it right. Again, avoid asking on the internet, and don't bother searching with Google, there is too much bad info out there presented as accurate when it's not, that could really mess up your research

Know too that "insane" is not a medical term, but rather is a slang hate slur, calling a mentally disabled person insane, is the equivalent of calling a black person the N-word. So be mindful of that when you write your characters. Doctors, nurses, friends, and kind caring people are not going to call your character "insane", where as bullies, bigots, and ableists WILL call your character insane. 

When someone calls a person "insane" they do so to try to hurt that person emotionally. This is true even in historical periods. The term insanity has been frowned upon by the medical profession since the 1700s, even though movies and novels about "insane asylums" will tell you otherwise.

You will be able to convey a character's personality, how cruel or kind a person they are, by if they call your mentally disabled character "insane" or not.

And THIS is where BoomFuzzy's off-language comes into play.

Quaraun has lost touch with reality and he doesn't know it.

BoomFuzzy can see that Quaraun is drastically changed mentally, from how he was in his youth and is trying to help him.

Quaraun's mind is so far gone, however, that he can not recognize BoomFuzzy anymore.

When they met 300 years ago, BoomFuzzy struggled to learn Quaraun's language and spoke horrifically broken speech. But 300 years have passed, and speaks fine now. But Quaraun refuses to believe BoomFuzzy IS BoomFuzzy because he no longer has trouble speaking, and so BoomFuzzy goes out of his way to speak badly JUST so Quaraun can remember him.

And this IS explained in the novels. In almost every novel a character will pick up on the fact that BoomFuzzy speaks normally to every one, and that speaks horrifica bad to Quaraun, and they'll ask him, why he does is, some accusing him of mocking Quaraun. But BoomFuzzy explains the situation.

Quaraun's mind is so far gone, however, that he can not recognize BoomFuzzy anymore.

When they met 300 years ago, BoomFuzzy struggled to learn Quaraun's language and spoke horrifically broken speech. But 300 years have passed, and speaks fine now. But Quaraun refuses to believe BoomFuzzy IS BoomFuzzy because he no longer has trouble speaking, and so BoomFuzzy goes out of his way to speak badly JUST so Quaraun can remember him.

And this is what REAL PEOPLE, have to do, with REAL dementia and Alzheimer's patients. 

Dementia and Alzheimer's patients can remember things for 30 or 40 years ago with vivid detail, but they can't remember who they talked to 5 minutes ago. They remember a birthday gift they got at 4 years old, but they can't remember you visited them last night. The remember eating cotton candy when they were 10, but they can't remember how to pick up a fork and feed themselves.

And if you had black hair when they were 10, but now your hair is grey, they don't know who you are, and they won't recognize you unless you dye your hair black, because they can't remember your face, but they can remember your hair. And that's the situation with Quaraun and BoomFuzzy. Quaraun remembers young BoomFuzzy learning to speak Quaraun language but he can't remember who BoomFuzzy is f he speaks normally.

This is the reality of REAL "insanity", REAL dementia and REAL Alzheimer's 

I have 3 family members with Dementia and 1 with Alzheimer's and I myself have Kanner's Syndrome. I know these 3 disorders from long term personal experience of living with them every day.

And it's painfully obvious when people mock how BoomFuzzy talks, that they DID NOT read the novels, otherwise they would know WHY he does it.

He loves Quaraun and he's losing Quaraun to a horrifying mental illness that is erasing Quaraun memories. And that's heartbreaking to live with.

Here, seeing how you're too lazy to read the novels and pay attention to what you read, let me take it out of the novel and put it here to stand on it's own, maybe than you'll actually read it as I actually wrote it, instead of self inserting what you want it to say instead:

BoomFuzzy and GhoulSpawn talking about Quaraun, after a big fight between the three of them leaves Quaraun in a coma for several weeks:

"You drug his food!"

"Yes! I do!"

"This is wrong!"

"You don't know what you are talking about. You don't live with him. You're hardly ever here. You come and go as you please. You show up for a few days and than you leave and we don't see you again for months. I'm the one that's with him every day. I'm the one that has to take care of him. You're not here to see what he goes through. You don't know how bad it is. He can barely function on his own."

"You don't have to drug him."

"Yes! I do!"

"Why?"

"Because he can't function at all if I don't. You've never seen him not on drugs. You have no clue how bad it gets."

"You're accent's gone."

"Yeah."

"I can barely understand you half the time and now you're just standing here talking normal?"

"Yeah."

"What the hell? Why? What is going on?"

"Quaraun has lost touch with reality and he doesn't know it."

"Yeah, I think it's pretty obvious he's lost touch with everything. But what about you? You run around like a raving lunatic. You're more insane then he is."

"Clearly I'm not."

"Are you saying he is insane, and you're just pretending to be insane to fit in?"

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"Why?"

"When we met years ago, I spoke a different language, he saved my life. I couldn't thank him. I was chained up, tortured for days. He risked his life to bring me food. He couldn't get the chains off, he tried. Quaraun was so young than. His, uhm, 'insanity' hadn't set in yet. He was just an average, rather ordinary little Moon Elf. That was first time he ever killed any one. The slave drivers would have killed me. Quaraun killed them. He didn't mean to. You could see it on his face. He was just trying to stop them. I think Quaraun was the type of person who would have felt guilty stepping on a bug. The guilt did something to him. He couldn't live with it. But than, we meet again, a few years later. I struggled to learn Quaraun's language and spoke horrifically broken speech. But we became friends, then lovers. Than Gibedon came back."

"Came back?"

"Yeah. You don't know who do Gibedon was, do you?"

"He was a Necromancer. Quaraun carries his head around in that bag."

"Yeah. I know. We were lovers. Gibedon and I. We were a couple before Quaraun was even born. He was gone to war when I met Quaraun, so Quaraun didn't know. Quaraun was more serious about the relationship than I was.  Quaraun saw me as a life long mate and I saw him as a temporary fling until Gibedon came back from the war front. Quaraun was furious. Gibedon was even more furious. They started fighting. I had a magic dagger, I just kept laying around the house, and before I knew what was happening, Quaraun had grabbed the knife, went full psycho on us. Stabbing both of us, me and Gibedon. He doesn't remember that part. I don't know why. He thinks a gang Moon Elf bullies stabbed me."

"Quaraun stabbed you?"

"Yeah. He cut off Gibedon's head. He was going to kill me next. Than, a portal opened up. A man I'd never seen before walked out and tackled Quaraun, took the knife away from him. I passed out. I don't know what happened after that."

"The man in the portal..."

"You. The other version of you. Gremlin. It was the first time I ever saw him. You. Your future self. Apparently there was a different end of the world, that had been caused by Quaraun murdering me and your future self came back to stop it."

"Why did you never tell me that before?"

"I didn't know THIS was going to happen between you and Quaraun."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Quaraun needs you. You're good for him. I see the old Quaraun in his eyes when you're around. You need to be around more often. It helps him, having you here."

"So, what is, all of this?" GhoulSpawn waved his hand toward BoomFuzzy. "An act?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't know me otherwise."

"What do you..."

"He can't remember who I am, if I don't act like this. He just stares at me through blank empty eyes and asks where BoomFuzzy went, than runs around like a madman looking for me, while I'm right here in front of him. I was wild in my youth and I struggled to speak Quaraun's language. Quaraun refuses to believe I am ME because I no longer have trouble speaking, and I no longer act like a wild, dare devil youth, so I go out of my way to speak badly and act wild and crazy, just so Quaraun can remember me. "

"You act crazier than him sometimes."

"I know."

"You seem pretty sane right now."

"I am sane, Ghouly. There's nothing wrong with me. I turn it on and off at will."

"So that's all an act too?"

"Yeah. It is. Every bit of it."

"Everything?"

"Everything. I love him. And I'll do whatever I have to for him. He wasn't always like this. I don't know what happened to him, but I don't think it can be fixed."

"What about your drinking problem? And the violence? Is that an act too?"

"No. That's me being very frustrated with this whole situation. Drinking too much to drown out reality and taken my frustrations out on Quaraun, when I shouldn't be."

"You drugged his food and than beat the shit out of him."

"I know."

"Why?"

"I told you. I'm frustrated with this entire situation. He's not easy to take care of. And I'm doing it by myself. I don't have any one to help me. I don't have an excuse for it, GhoulSpawn. I know what I did."

"You almost killed him."

"I can see that."

    ~GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover

How was it Kendra Silvermander described it:


"Retarded books about a retarded character written by a retarded author."

She posted those words, more 500 times, in as many 1 star comments that she put in the reviews she wrote with her 52 now banned Amazon accounts.

And do you know how I found out those accounts were her's?

She emailed me and told me. After she tried to spam that same review in more 1 star reviews and found out Amazon had deleted her accounts. 

I had no way of knowing the 52 accounts of a single ISBN where her. Amazon never said any names, they told me it happened. Had she not emailed me later accusing me of deleting her accounts, yes, accusing ME of doing it, not Amazon, I never would have known who had done it.

All of this, always goes back to this Kendra woman, who, I still don't know who she even is.

I've ignored her wild emails for years, blocked her on Twitter, FB, Pinterest and ever place else she sent her hate comments with, never replied or responded to her, and I didn't know she was connected to the bombs in 2003 and 2006 until the FBI got involved after my family was murdered in 2015.

I also didn't know about the tens of thousands of flyers she had been putting on car windows at every shopping center in York County, Maine, until the flyers turned up in court. She'd been handing those out around the state for over 20 years, some calling me a male to female transgender person, others calling me gay, others calling me an Erotica author, ALL of them call people to action, telling them to "obey God" and kill the gay bastard, kill the trans bastard, kill the Erotica bitch.


She went on a massive, massive, MASSIVE vendetta attack, but vendetta for what  still don't know.


In one of her flyers she made the claim I was a bully whom had beat her up in school, but... I never went to school, AND, she's 30+ years older than me according to the police.


Near as any police officers or FBI agents can tell, she mixed me up with someone else and is completely convinced I am someone I'm not.


My family is dead, because one women, saw an old school bully, where there was none.

My family is dead, because one women, gathered up a massive street army" of haters, and convinced them I wrote Erotica, when I didn't.

This is the power of an over active imagination combined with paranoia.

This woman was so blinded by hate, so full of paranoia, that she latched on to me and my family for decades of harassment, that ended in my family being murdered.

Why?

Because she saw things in places where they were not.

Just like how readers saw a white man, not a black man, when they read BoomFuzzy in my novels.

Can you people see the danger of NOT checking the facts before you act?

She gathered up, extremist Christians - The Ku Klux Klan themselves - who were willing to kill over sex, and convinced them that my books were Eroica, and just believing her word, without reading my books to see if she spoke the truth, 14 men, arrived at my house at 1PM on April 10, 2015, held me to the ground with a gun to my head, and tied piano wire choke holds around my children's necks, and beat their faces in with cinder block bricks. While a crowd of more than 70 men and women stood in my driveway and cheered them on, while chanting "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town Of Old Orchard Beach!"

Those 14 men took my 12 children with them when they left and on May 15, 2015, they nailed the heads, hands, feet, and intestines of 10 of my children to my front door.

What the hell?

This happened because one woman was convicted she had read Erotica in my books and went on a hell fire crazy spell over it.

After she had already convinced herself that I was the adult form of some bully who beat her up in school, back in the 1950s, a full 20 fucking years before I was even born.

All this because she saw things in places where they did not exist at all.

And THAT is what I'm reminded of, when people email me, upset, that will reading volume 22, they discover that BoomFuzzy is black.

Why didn't you know BoomFuzzy is black?

What mental disorder do you have, that your brain inserted a white man where a black man was?

Is it the same mental disorder Kendra Silvermander has that caused her to insert Erotica in books that had no sex?

Is it the same mental disorder that Kendra Silvermander has that caused her to think I who never went to school and was born 20 years after she graduated from school, was someone she knew in school?

And you people want me to go back to writing the Quaraun series?

Why?

You can't even be bothered to pay attention to what I wrote.

People paid so  little attention to what I wrote,, that they self inserted things I did not write and then went and murdered my real children because of it.

Oh, our world has a pandemic all right! But it's damned BIGGER than Covid19! It's fucking mentally incompetent people reading fiction and not being able to mentally process what they ACTUALLY read from what they THOUGHT they read. And they think what the THOUGHT they read was so bad that they decided it was okay to commit murder and kill the author's family!



#Let me repeat that this novel, which is 303 pages long, spanning 130k words, Volume 1 The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, describes BoomFuzzy as having BLACK skin 5,678 times.

On only 303 pages, you are told, 5,678 times that BoomFuzzy has black skin. This means BoomFuzzy is described as being a black man, on average 18 time on EACH AND EVERY SINGLE PAGE!

And each of the next 20 volumes does the same. Meaning there is no way, to read these novels, and NOT know BoomFuzzy is black.

And yet, more than 2,000 people have read all the way to volume 22, WITOUT KNOWING that BoomFuzzy was black, and stopped reading at volume 22, to send me hate mail, saying how upset they were, that I didn't tell them sooner (before volume 22) that BoomFuzzy, was black.

Their emails also state that they are ashamed of me because as they put it, "no self respecting white author would stoop so low as to defile their book by including a black character" followed by lots of raving and ranting on white all coloured folk are evil, and they never will never read another of my books again until I repent of my sins and remove all references to persons of colour from my novels...

Uhm... what the fuck?

For starters... I'm not white. Did you not know that?

Why would ME, a NOT WHITE person, write white characters?

I don't know anything about white culture or white lifestyle, how the heck would you expect me, as a none-white person to know how to write white characters?

Secondly there are more than 750 characters in the Quaraun series, and not one of them is white!

What the fuck!

Did you never notice that?

NO ONE in the Quaraun series is white! NO ONE!

You really want me to take 48 million words of text across 138 novels and 2,000 short stories, written across 43 years, and change all 750 characters into white people?

Why the fuck would I do that?

In short they simply proved themselves to not only be racist pigs, but also, to have a serious lack of any reading comprehension ability, whatsoever.

And how does this bring us to the topic of the series being called Erotica?

Well, we are getting to that.

Did you notice how people read 21 novels, roughly 7,000 pages, BEFORE they reach volume 22 and the scene that uses the N-word, BEFORE they realize BoomFuzzy, the fucking main character, is BLACK?

It's called Poor Reading Comprehension Skills, and for people too stupid to know what that means: it means you are illiterate aka you are too stupid to understand the meanings of words aka you are too retarded to understand what you read.

And that, is where we see, the Erotica issue come in as well.

Because not only is their Reading Comprehension so bad that they can read 7,000 pages before realizing the man character is black, that also means they are so stupid that they can read those same 7,000 pages and have sexual fantasies the whole time, without realizing there is nothing titillating on the page at all.

In fact, I suspect that the very REASON< they did not know BoomFuzzy was black, was because they were so busy masturbating to sex scenes that did not exist, that they didn't see the black descriptions that did exist.


Remember folks: 

   *   You ignoring the fact that in just volume 1, I described BoomFuzzy as BLACK 5,678 times, doesn't change the fact, he's still black.


   *   You imagining BoomFuzzy as white, doesn't change the fact, that BoomFuzzy is black.


   *   You thinking of BoomFuzzy as white, doesn't mean that I wrote him the way your fucked up brain thought of him.


   *   I wrote BoomFuzzy as a black man, and no amount of you IGNORING what I wrote, is going to change the fact that BoomFuzzy is black.


   *   READERS SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE and DO NOT SEE WHAT I ACTUALLY WROTE!



Just like the same way:


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

But than, let's look at how OLD Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are.

Why?

Because we see the same thing happen with Quaraun's age, that we see happen with BoomFuzzy's skin.

   *   READERS SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE and DO NOT SEE WHAT I ACTUALLY WROTE!

Let's look at another place where readers commonly see things I did not write.

A common question readers have with the Quaraun books is: "Is this supposed to be like this?" And yeah, every time you encounter a thing that seems "off" or "wonky", it is style choice. For example, in Night of the Screaming Unicorn, you see very early in that BoomFuzzy addresses Quaraun, by name, and about 20 or so pages later, Quaraun is hiding the fact that he's a wizard because he doesn't want BoomFuzzy to find out who he is, and yet, it's clear BoomFuzzy already does know who he is, because he's already called him "Quaraun". 

A couple of readers pointed that out and, saying that it felt like a writing error, a consistency error, felt like the author (me) had forgotten BoomFuzzy already knew who Quaraun was, so why is Quaraun trying to hide it? Well, if you pay attention to the story, you ARE told that Quaraun is very old, he's elderly, he's having a hard time getting around. 

Try to remember: Quaraun is elderly, nearing the end of his life, and BoomFuzzy is already dead. BoomFuzzy is a ghost. BoomFuzzy had two lovers: Quaraun and Gibedon. And Quaraun murdered Gibedon and a few days later BoomFuzzy commit suicide. And it's now 300 years later, and Quaraun is planning to kill himself, and BoomFuzzy's ghost shows up to try to stop him.

The story tells you that most Elves live around 300 to 400 years and Quaraun is nearing 700, maybe 800, he doesn't know how old he is, he can't remember. He can't remember what year it is. He can't remember when he was born. That's the point. Quaraun has some server old age memory lose issues, maybe dementia, possibly Alzheimer's, what it is exactly isn't important. What's important is that Quaraun is struggling to remember: ANYTHING.

And BoomFuzzy sees this, and he knows, Quaraun can't remember something he said, barely 5 minutes ago. Which is WHY you see BoomFuzzy, constantly repeating himself, constantly talking about the same events over and over again.

Quaraun is seen by most people in his world as insane, a raving lunatic, just plain crazy. No one takes him seriously because of how he talks, how he acts, how he dresses. And than there's BoomFuzzy who has been avoiding Quaraun for centuries. He's mad at Quaraun. Quaraun murdered BoomFuzzy's lover Gibedon and BoomFuzzy can't forgive Quaraun for that, so he refuses to talk to Quaraun for 300 years.

Night of the Screaming Unicorn is the first time they meet up again after 300 years away from each other. And BoomFuzzy, recognizes that something's wrong with Quaraun, something's seriously wrong. Quaraun is confused, stumbling around, gibbering madness. Quaraun doesn't recognize BoomFuzzy, and than Quaraun does recognize BoomFuzzy, but then 5 minutes later, BoomFuzzy is a stranger to him again and Quaraun doesn't know who BoomFuzzy is all over again.

BoomFuzzy was in love with Quaraun, when Quaraun was young and healthy, but that was years ago, and Quaraun's changed. Now Quaraun's old, and alone, and in very poor health, he can barely function - physically or mentally, he's in desperate need of someone to take care of him, but he has no one. No friends, no family, and society is so scared of him, that he can get help no where.

This is an elderly man in need of constant medical attention, and he's wandering around homeless, and no one cares. BoomFuzzy sees this, he sees this person that he used to love, wandering around homeless and alone, in desperate need of medical attention, half starved to death, and not mentally capable of remembering one minute to the next, let alone having the mental compacity to take care of himself.

It breaks BoomFuzzy's heart to see Quaraun like this, because it is so far vastly different from how Quaraun had been in his youth. BoomFuzzy had thought Quaraun had moved on, and he's now seeing that Quaraun didn't. Guilt over what he did (murdering BoomFuzzy's lover, Gibedon) absolutely shattered Quaraun's mind, he's spent his life isolated and alone, reliving the day of BoomFuzzy's suicide in his mind. 

Quaraun is nearing the end of his life, and his advanced old age had lead to serious memory issues, where he can remember things that happened in his childhood, but he can't remember what his did even an hour ago. If fact Quaraun acts like he just murdered Gibedon and BoomFuzzy just killed himself. Quaraun's mind is stuck in the day BoomFuzzy died. He can't moved passed it. He can't see that 300 years have gone by and he hasn't moved on. And THAT is why you see the story written the way it is.

And I remember when people first pointed that out and I explained this memory issue is what is going on (which, IS explained IN THE NOVEL, so I shouldn't have to explain it anyways) people pointed out: "OMG! Wait... is Quaraun an old man? I imagined him like being a teenager. I thought he was like a young adult. Ain't he like only 15 or 21 or..."

No.

Quaraun is an old man. So isn't BoomFuzzy.

Uhm... yeah. Do you know what the following words mean?


   *   old - 123

   *   elderly - 6

   *   ancient - 27


Also here's some more words for you to look up the meanings of:


   *   forgetful - 2

   *   forgot - 18

   *   remember - 81


 As usual with these kinds of comments, I use Night of the Screaming Unicorn to judge by, as most of these comments come from people whom have read the ebook edition of that novel, AND because this is volume 1 of the series and is the novel MOST people have read if they've read the Quaraun books, and is the novel which introduces both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy.


   *   The Night of the Screaming Unicorn describes Quaraun as being "old" 123 times.


   *   The Night of the Screaming Unicorn describes Quaraun as being "elderly" 6 times.


   *   The Night of the Screaming Unicorn describes Quaraun as being "ancient" 27 times.


  *   The Night of the Screaming Unicorn describes Quaraun as being "forgetful" 2 times.


   *  The Night of the Screaming Unicorn says Quaraun "forgot" something 18 times.


   *  The Night of the Screaming Unicorn says Quaraun could not "remember" something 81 times.

Uhm... again... yeah.

You ARE told what is going on.

It's NOT hidden.

I'm not one of those writers who likes to weave hidden meanings and messages. I tell you outright, Quaraun is old, elderly, ancient, nearing the end of his life, has outlived all other Elves, has lost his ability to remember things, is very forgetful, can't remember things that happened moments ago... you just ignored what I wrote, and imagined things as you wanted them to be instead reading them as they actually were.

With the lone except of the flashback novel 'BoomFuzzy', Quaraun is literally described -in every single novel- as: "the Elf was somewhere around 750 years old, the equivalate of a 90 year old Human"

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are both elderly men who used to love each other when they were young but, a really horrible event broke them up and they haven't seen each other, in 300 years, BoomFuzzy has already died and is a ghost, while Quaraun is dying from old age, and he knows it. He's suffering. His health is falling apart. His memory is almost no-existent any more. He knows he won't live much longer and he just wants to see BoomFuzzy before he dies.

And yet, readers, are shocked when, they are talking to me on Twitch livestreams and hear me say Quaraun is elderly. They reply to say they thought he was a young kid, a 15 year old boy, a high schooler, a young adult around 21.

How?

How do you read the Quaraun novels and think Quaraun is young?

How is that even possible?

Others have pointed out BoomFuzzy speaks really bad, but all of a sudden, sometimes, he suddenly can speak fine. They ask, "Why did you edit some of his dialogue to be good and other lines to be practically illiterate." Again, pay attention to WHEN BoomFuzzy's ability to speak coherently changes.

It changes when he's angry.

No longer thinking clearly.

Starts yelling.

All of a sudden, yeah he can speak fine. He's no longer tripping over his words.

Yeah, BoomFuzzy can speak fine when he WANTS too and when he forgets to to speak in broken grammar - like when he's angry. 

But why?

Again - pay attention to the story. Quaraun doesn't recognize BoomFuzzy as BoomFuzzy if BoomFuzzy starts speaking clearly. When Quaraun was a teen, he meet BoomFuzzy, and BoomFuzzy didn't know Quaraun's language. They had a huge communication barrier. BoomFuzzy struggled badly to learn to speak with Quaraun. The language was hard to learn. And BoomFuzzy still struggled with it, at the time he and Quaraun broke up. But now it's 300 years later and BoomFuzzy knows Quaraun's language well and can speak it clearly, but Quaraun's dementia issues, cause him to only remember who BoomFuzzy is IS BoomFuzzy speaks broken grammar. 

So, BoomFuzzy deliberately goes out of his way to speak messed up broken sentences, because that's easier than trying to find a cure for Quaraun's failing memory.

So the bad grammar, the spelling errors, that's all deliberate, and adding into the story during editing, AFTER the novel was written.

The novels are written from Quaraun perspective, so even the narration is broken, and shifts back and forth in a muddled mess.

It's written that way, so that the reader IS just as confused as Quaraun is. Keeping the reader confused as to what is going on, IS the intention.

You got to remember that I write what I personally enjoy reading, and as a reader, I enjoy books that draw you into the mental and emotional psychology of the main character. I WANT to see the world the main character sees it. I WANT to experience what the main character is experiencing.

And if the main character is confused and struggling to gain their bearings in their world, I as a reader WANT to be confused and struggling in that world as well. I enjoy reading books that make me experience the emotion the character feels. And in the Quaraun series, Quaraun is mentally lost, confused, uncertain of what's going on around him. 

Remember folks: 

   *   You thinking of Quaraun as young, a teen, or a young adult, does not change the fact, that he is the equivalent of a 90 year old Human, exactly as you were told in the novels.

   *   You ignoring the fact that in just volume 1, I described BoomFuzzy as BLACK 5,678 times, doesn't change the fact, he's still black.


   *   You imagining BoomFuzzy as white, doesn't change the fact, that BoomFuzzy is black.


   *   You thinking of BoomFuzzy as white, doesn't mean that I wrote him the way your fucked up brain thought of him.


   *   I wrote BoomFuzzy as a black man, and no amount of you IGNORING what I wrote, is going to change the fact that BoomFuzzy is black.


Just like the same way:


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

  *   BoomFuzzy is black - get off your fucking white power high horse and deal with it.

  *   Quaraun is elderly and has dementia & Alzheimer's, when he runs off naked, he needs a psychiatrist, a doctor, and some medication, not you lusting after him and calling scenes like that Erotica.

  *   Lusting after an elderly man who is wandering around naked and confused instead of thinking "Why isn't anyone helping him?", is sexual harassment and elder abuse NOT Erotica. What the fuck is wrong with you?

  *   A man getting drunk and beating the crap out of his lover, is abuse and domestic violence not BDSM.

Those scenes weren't written to titillate you. What is wrong with you people?



   *   READERS SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE and DO NOT SEE WHAT I ACTUALLY WROTE!

Which is why they can read 7,000 pages before realizing BoomFuzzy is black, think of Quaraun as a young adult/late teen, see sex scenes in places where no sex happened, and think of a series where nothing titillating happens at all, as Erotica.

 - BoomFuzzy is black

 - Quaraun is elderly

 - And there is nothing even remotely erotic in the Quaraun novels.


And so can you start to see the issue?

Readers see what they want to see.

Readers insert what they want the story to be.

And this is not unique to the Quaraun series.

No.

There are hundreds of studies into this phenomena.

Look up studies about Witness Testimony, where 3 people saw the thief run off with the old woman's purse. One says the guy wore a red sweater and had a big beard. The next one says he wore a green Tshirt and was clean shaven. The third says he wore a blue hoodie. But than when checking the security cameras the police learn the guy wore a black and white stripe button down. What happened? Each witness saw the image of someone they were scared of.

Go to any readers' forum and look at the conversations about characters. 

Look at page 179 of the Witcher novel Lady of the Lake where Ciri raped and castrated Avallac'h. Did you know 81% of Ciri fans swear Avallac'h raped Ciri?

Did you know that 34% of Harry Potter fans believe Prof Snape is an elderly woman and are shocked when they see the movies and see a fairly young man as the actor?

What about The Hunger Games where MORE THAN HALF OF THE CHARACTERS are described specifically as "African American", but when they were cast as black in the movies, MILLIONS of novel fans protested the black actors, swearing the characters in the novels were white?

How many times do you see a reader describe a character as blond, than you read the book they recommended and learn that character was brunette?

This phenomena is wide spread.

But... a family being murdered by enraged anti-Erotica Christians is a rare event.

My family was murdered by radical Christians who wanted to punish me for writing Erotica.

The only problem with that is: I don't Erotica.

I've never written Erotica.

As a Christian myself, I have no intention of ever writing Erotica.

People who admit they never read my books, murdered my family, because they had seen so many people on NaNoWriMo forum, KBoards forum, Twitch VoDs, Discord, Twitter, and FaceBook, make the false CLAIM that my books were Erotica.

They saw so many of my readers CALL my books Erotica, that they became fully convinced I MUST be writing Erotica, and so without even reading m books to find out if the rumor was true or not, they kidnapped mu children, cut off their heads, than nailed their heads to my door.

   *   READERS SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE and DO NOT SEE WHAT I ACTUALLY WROTE!

   *   MY FAMILY WAS MURDERED BECAUSE READERS SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE and DO NOT SEE WHAT I ACTUALLY WROTE!



Remember folks: 

   *   You thinking of Quaraun as young, a teen, or a young adult, does not change the fact, that he is the equivalent of a 90 year old Human, exactly as you were told in the novels.

   *   You ignoring the fact that in just volume 1, I described BoomFuzzy as BLACK 5,678 times, doesn't change the fact, he's still black.


   *   You imagining BoomFuzzy as white, doesn't change the fact, that BoomFuzzy is black.


   *   You thinking of BoomFuzzy as white, doesn't mean that I wrote him the way your fucked up brain thought of him.


   *   I wrote BoomFuzzy as a black man, and no amount of you IGNORING what I wrote, is going to change the fact that BoomFuzzy is black.


Just like the same way:


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

The genre of the Quaraun series, further makes the Erotica claims even more baffling.

The Quaraun series is a dystopian multiverse, where lots of dimensions of Earth are happening all at once, each with different endings to the world, and a Wizard named HellBorne unlocks the ability to move through dimensions, via portals. His assistant GhoulSpawn develops time travel, and starts traveling through time and dimensions in search of his mother whom was swallowed by a portal when he was a small child.

Yes, there are multiple outcomes in Quaraun's world, which is a primary plot point within the series, and is why we see some novels that are full on copy paste of each other with different outcomes, because of different changes of events during the story.

In 2525, the world ends, and a group of scientists from another planet arrive days earlier to rescue a group of people, they fell can help prevent this, by sending them back in time to change past events.

They pick a few hundred people from various points in history and show each of them a different event in history, which lead to the 2525 implosion of the Earth, and tell them: change this event, to make THIS happen instead of THAT. If everyone does the task we assign them, the world will not end in 2525.

One of the events that needs to change is the birth a baby, that should not have been born. The mother was beaten by an angry husband and baby is stillborn as a result, however, Quaraun fell through a portal, witnesses the event, and pushes the woman aside, saving the unborn baby, who is born and grows up to be the one that directly causes the end of the world in 2525.

This task is assigned to a Chaos Demon named The Gremlin, who in his youth had been known as GhoulSpawn and had been friends with Quaraun.

GhoulSpawn is one of the people rescued in 2525 and sent back to 1978, to change history, by tossing his teenage self through a portal to 1458, to stop Quaraun from saving the baby's life.

In 1458, young GhoulSpawn falls out of the sky and lands on Quaraun, becoming one of his travel companions, but he is unaware of how he got to the past or why he is there, and when he comes to the event he was supposed to change, instead of stopping Quaraun from saving the baby, he helps Quaraun, and while history is changed, it is made, far, far worse, with a massive plague unleashed on the world.

And as it turned out, history is in fact not changed at all, as the alien rescuers learn, that BECAUSE the end of the world caused them to create time travel portals, they have in fact caused the end of the world to become and unchangeable event.

In their panic they begin to send more people to the past to change even more events.

And eventually they realize that because they had tasked a Chaos Demon with killing the baby, they themselves had in fact unleashed the chaos that would set into motion the events causing the end of the world.

In a twist of events, they discover, had The Diontite Scientists lead by Dr. Dameon, Cheecka, and BoomFuzzy's grandson Harrier, NOT interfered the world would NOT have ended, and now they must go back through time again, to find the Chaos Demon and stop him, from making things worse.

Other, darker motives are at play when it is discovered that Twin Emperor Vielder and Melaca, are pulling the strings in an attempt to resurrect their mother: the baby that should have died, because in another dimension she DID die, and things were far worse.

Another layer comes in when Melac's son Roderic and Roderic's sons Etiole and RazzBurry, take control of a giant man eating Mimic that roams the Ross Forest and haunts The Reclaim Blueberry Plains of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, settling down the day as a massive mansion called The Twighlight Manor, and roaming the forests of Maine at night as BoomFuzzy's gingerbread house eating everyone in it's path, and it is revealed it is the mutated soul of the baby. 

Another layer comes in when the origin of Maine's deadly Twighlight Manor, is discovered to be 2 immortal souls bound together centuries ago: SunTa in the attic is revealed to be Quaraun The Insane and Antares in the basement is BoomFuzzy, both now thousands of years old and hell bent the utter destruction of the universe that destroyed them.

Meanwhile, 2525 GhoulSpawn also known as The Gremlin, starts using portal magic to travel to thousands of dimensions and times, changing history at will and NOT doing what the alien scientists had wanted him to do. Instead he changes things he dislikes and wants to be different, damn the consequences.

The result is lots of important points of history get changed, some are minor and insignificant changes, while other changes are devastating.

A recon crew is sent to find Gremlin and stop him before he destroys the entire universe.

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are caught up in the crossfire of all of this. Quaraun is a suicidal Necromancer who has been escaping Death against all odds and seems to possibly be immortal, while BoomFuzzy is a ghost destined to eternity in Hell once he takes care of the unfinished business of heling Quaraun through the grief of BoomFuzzy's suicide, and BoomFuzzy will do anything to both keep Quaraun alive and keep himself out of Hell (a literal prison, a physical place in Quaraun's world) and becomes a Lich.

With Quaraun and BoomFuzzy, both undefeatable mega super villains who simply can not die, now traveling with Chaos Demon GhoulSpawn through time and space, they start changing far more than the history of the Earth, but change history on every planet they touch, and spread with them The Crystal Plague, and deadly "lich virus" that is turning life across the universe and in every dimension into undead shambling zombies, devoted to following their lich lord The Pink Necromancer who unknowingly created them.

I ask you again, does ANY of this sound like Erotica to YOU?

  *   BoomFuzzy is black - get off your fucking white power high horse and deal with it.

  *   Quaraun is elderly and has dementia & Alzheimer's, when he runs off naked, he needs a psychiatrist, a doctor, and some medication, not you lusting after him and calling scenes like that Erotica.

  *   Lusting after an elderly man who is wandering around naked and confused instead of thinking "Why isn't anyone helping him?", is sexual harassment and elder abuse NOT Erotica. What the fuck is wrong with you?

  *   A man getting drunk and beating the crap out of his lover, is abuse and domestic violence not BDSM.

Those scenes weren't written to titillate you. What is wrong with you people?



 *   READERS SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE and DO NOT SEE WHAT I ACTUALLY WROTE!

Which is why they can read 7,000 pages before realizing BoomFuzzy is black, think of Quaraun as a young adult/late teen, see sex scenes in places where no sex happened, and think of a series where nothing titillating happens at all, as Erotica.

 - BoomFuzzy is black

 - Quaraun is elderly

 - And there is nothing even remotely erotic in the Quaraun novels.


So now... let's actually LOOK at what it is, people CLAIM is the "erotica" found in the Quaraun novels.

Keep in mind that Quaraun is an elderly man, the equivalent of a 90 year old Human.

Let me repeat... the "erotica" scenes are describing an elderly man, the equivalent of a 90 year old Human.

And let me give you a question to think about here:

Would YOU be sexually aroused by descriptions of a 90 year old man?

Are you starting to see how utterly silly the people calling the Quaraun books Erotica, are?

If you have ever read one of my novels, you know much I like to write character descriptions. Every chapter contains now fewer than 500 words describing the character... 500 words for EACH character ... describing everything from their skin to their eyes to their hair to their cloths ... and well, you know me ... Screaming Unicorn gets branded as "Erotica" for it's 10 page long description of Quaraun's gold rings ... 128 gold rings that are used like Frankenstein stitches to "sew" his badly mutilated and near severed penis and foreskin back together and the matching 58 gold scrotum rings ... a scene that gets copied, reworded, and pasted into EVERY single volume of the series, and is followed, by an equally detailed scene of BoomFuzzy. BoomFuzzy as readers are aware, is a shapeshifter. A silver horned, black unicorn in his natural form, he can change to look like anything or anyone, and one day he saw a pair of snakes breeding, and discovered what it is also snakes have that no other species has: two penises.

Sooooo... BoomFuzzy, a black man in his Human form, because he's a black horse in his real form, has not one, but two black penises for me to describe, in 10 page detail, because, it's what I do. It's what the Quaraun series is known for: grueling specific details of men with no pants on. Of course in volumes that include GhoulSpawn, you then get a third description, of GhoulSpawn's, well, and well isn't his a doozy, those volumes banned in 27 countries.

So, you have ditzy, clumsy, clutz of an albino Elf who can't walk in high heels, never met a staircase he couldn't fall boobily down, and gets his dresses snagged on every tree root, just so we can watch him fall bum up, flat on his face, with his skirts over his head, so we can describe his gold rings, you know because, I'm apparently addicted to describing his gold rings, bee doing it for 43 years now.

Speaking of falling boobily down stairs... have you ever read a Fabio novel?

Try it sometimes.

Sooner or later you will run across a scene of a woman, who boobily stumbles down the stairs, just so the male lead can rip her bodice off and free the boobs. It won't take you long, because that scene appears in EVERY single Fabio novel, all 371 of them. That scene also appeared in 842 Fabio-knock-off novels.

From 1991 to 1994, Zebra Erotic Romance Historical became so legendary for woman "stumbling boobily down the stairs", "falling boobily down the stair", "bouncing boobily down the stairs", "tripping boobily down the stairs", that there is a subReddit called "Men Writing Women" and their tagline is: "She Bounced Boobily Down The Stairs". The goal of the subReddit is "to catalogue every incident of a male writer describing a female as boobily".

Boobily is a word that you will not find in the dictionary, but in the world of Romance novels, particularly in the Bodice Ripper subgenre, and especially in the Fabio line by Zebra Publishing in particular, the word "boobily" is the single most common word used to describe female leads. Interesting to note that these novels are sold under female pennames and feature cover art near nude women falling out of their Southern Belle dresses in the arms of Italian male model Fabio, thus the term "Fabio novels".


In any case, the trope of women falling "boobily" down the stairs because a male author wants to spend 10 pages describing her breasts after they spilled boobily out of her corset, after she fell boobily down the stairs, and landed boobs first on the man sitting at the table nearest the stairs, is so widespread and so over used, that, I decided to make fun of it, by being a woman, who wrote a man who falls boobily down stairs, and gets his cock and balls miraculously exposed on the table below every time, followed by a detailed description of said cock and balls that have landed in the nearest soup bowl.

Yeah. It makes fun of the fact that men can't write women without a woman's boobs falling out of her dress and landed on the table, by showing how idiotic that same scene would be, if a man fell down the stairs and landed dick first, half naked on the table, the same way the women constantly land half naked boob first on the table.

Fans of the Quaraun series are often elderly women (yes MOST of my readers are in their 70s to 90s) who read the Fabio novels when in their 40s to 50s, and immediately recognize the joke, and are fully aware that this is Pink Humor (Comedy that makes fun of how utterly ridiculous the Erotica genre is by turning every atrocious boob joke into an even more atrocious dick joke - yes, Pink Humor is an actual genre.)

Quaraun falling boobily down stairs became a running gags in the series, so every volume contains a scene of Quaraun, decked out in a fancy belle of the ball dress, and falling, and landing someplace awkward, balls out.

People who know Pink Humor genre, know this is not Erotica, but rather is making fun of how stupid the Erotica genre is, by putting men in the same scenes female Erotica characters are forced to endure. In Erotica, male authors write scenes of female public humiliation to jerk off to, because those male authors, think jerking off to a woman's public humiliation is sexy and seduction. Real world women read these so-called "Romance" novels that are marketed for women, but are clearly written by men for male readers, and are generally horrified by the kind of abusive, degrading, and humiliating things men find to be titillating.

The Pink Humor genre, rose up in the 1990s, a few months after the Fabio novels took off as the top selling Romance novels off all time (and stayed there until 50 Shades of Grey knocked them off their pedestal). Pink Humor is a genre, generally written by feminists with one goal: to show the world how humiliating, abusive, and degrading to women the Erotica genre is by replacing females with males and those subjecting males to the exact same abusive, degrading, humiliation. 

And in the 1990s and early 2000s, while the Fabio novels were selling like hot cakes from every grocery store check out line, people understood what Pink Humor was and why outraged women were writing it. And many of the Quaraun books were written during this time period.

However, in spite of outselling it's biggest competitor, the Harlequin line, Zebra, was still only a tiny indie publishing house, with only a few authors craning out Fabio novels on a weekly grind, and Harlequin was a large publishing house, with hundreds of authors, putting out hundreds of new titles every week across more than 70 separate lines. Zebra could not keep up, nor could they price their 500 page door stopper Fabio novels high enough, and they soon filed for bankruptcy. And in 2002, the last Fabio novel was published.

The Fabio novels changed the publishing industry. They were the first books to publish sex scenes, and soon other genres (Horror, Westerns, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, etc) began to see sex scenes hear and there. This had never been done before, because prior to 1997, American federal laws dictated what could and could not be published in comic books, newspapers, and yes even novels, and sex was simply not allowed.

The Fabio novels challenged those laws and because the authors could go to prison for writing body parts in sex scene, they wrote fruits and vegetables instead. Boobs became melons, bums became peaches, penises became eggplants, to allow sex scenes to NOT fade to black and be written on the page without the author going to prison for 15 years. Massive lawsuits rocked the publishing industry as outraged church groups stared suing Zebra for daring to publish sex in books, which contributed to Zebra's filing for bankruptcy and the Fabio books ceasing to be published.

However, as these lawsuits ended up on nightly TV news, more and more people became aware of the fact that the Federal Government was regulating what could and could not be published in books and outraged Freedom of Speech supporters, discovering sex was banned by federal law from being published in Romance novels, took to the courts with 1st armament lawsuits against the American government... and thanks to the daring authors of the Fabio novels... on September 26, 1997, the federal law that banned sex and violence from being published in comic books and novels since it's rise against EC Comics in 1953, was at long last obliterated, and the flood gates were opened for brand new genre: Erotica, to be published in America, for the first time since it's banning in 1953.



Since 1997, sex scene began to appear more and more often in any and every genre, while the Romance genre, suddenly left behind it's sex free Sweet stories of wooing and courtship with no bedrooms to be found to be replaced with sex dripping raunchy bedroom romps, that had no story at all, no romance to be seen, and indeed rarely even had a plot and was in fact nothing but page after page of sex scenes.

And the Bodice Ripper, aka The Fabio novels, faded away, all but forgotten, with few sexual liberated authors today even aware that without the Fabio novels, their freedom to write sex, would not exist at all. This strange genre that focused on none-stop sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexual humiliation, done entirely by throwing assorted fruits and vegetables in the bedroom, disappeared ... until 2013, when for the first time in 10 years, a novel that focused on none-stop sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexual humiliation,  this time with house hold items like tampons and golf balls instead of fruits and vegetables, took the world by storm ad went on to be the first book to not only out sell Harry Potter, but also, out sell the Bible: 50 Shades of Grey. 

With the arrival of 50 Shades of Grey, the Bodice Ripper genre retuned, darker than ever, and now known as BDSM Erotic Romance. And all the work feminists made at squashed the genre that focused on none-stop sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexual humiliation,  was flushed down the toilet, as millions of women, rushed to be the next ELJames, and wrote novels that focused on none-stop sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexual humiliation, to the point of extreme.

No more was the Romance genre dominated by male authors writing women falling boobily down the stairs for the pleasure of male readers. Now the Romance genre was dominated by female authors who WANTED to be sexually abused, WANTED to be sexually harassed, WANTED to be sexually humiliated in public places.

And with the rise of the BDSM Erotic Romance 50 Shades Knock-Off genre, came too, a resurge in readers buying old and nearly forgotten Pink Humor novels, including the Quaraun series which had been practically forgotten along with the Fabio books.

And this is where I give rise to concern. For the definition of Erotica, seems to have changed.

Erotica used to be about seduction. Two or more WILLING partners WILLING CONSENTING to seduce each other. ACTUAL BDSM has the same definition.

The Bodice Ripper Genre and the 50 Shades Knock Off genre, both focus on LACK OF CONCENT.

Every Bodice Ripper follows the same basic story line: wealthy young girl (usually said to be 14 years old - YES - the girls on the covers of Fabio novels are supposed to be only 14 years old according to the story inside) away from home for the first time, on a stage coach that stops a saloon in the middle of no where, after freshening up in the bath up stairs, she falls boobily down the stairs, her hoop skirt gets caught on a chandelier, ripping her bodice off, as she lands on the table below, naked boobs out, wearing nothing but her pantaloons. The man at the table immediately gropes her bare breasts, calls his drunk friends over to join in, gang rape ensures, but low and behold, Comanchee Chief Fabio or Highwayman Fabio or Half-Bred Buk Boy Fabio or Swashbuckler Pirate Fabio swoops in, rescues the poor naked defiled gang rape victim, carries her off to his lair/ship/teepee, to... oh look, he's gonna rape her too, because she's already 14 years old, got to get her pregnant before she becomes an old maid, so now she's his wife by rape, but sex is just greatest so she doesn't care that he kidnapped her, raped her, and is holding her hostage.

Also known as The Dubious Consent genre, the Fabio novels aka the Bodice Rippers were blatant child rape stories.

And if you are wondering how I know... I own more than 3,000 1990s Bodice Rippers including the entire Zebra Historical Romance line aka The Fabios. And yes, I have read all of them.

Once mass market produced and sold by the millions,  in the mid 2010s (from 2013 to 2016) church groups across America gathered up massive millions of Fabio novels and burned them in what they termed "Pentecostal Tent Revival Meetings".

I found out about these book burnings when a local church gathered up my own novels to burn in my driveway.

Millions upon millions of Bodice Rippers were destroyed, as these groups bought every copy they could find on Amazon and eBay.

Today, the Fabio novels, once the most popular, top selling books on the planet, each title selling an astounding, mind boggling around 20 million copies per title, thanks to the Christian tent revival book burnings of the mid2010s these books are today among the rarest books on the planet.

Now in 2021, most of the controversial of 1990s Bodice Rippers sell for $100 to $500 each. Books that sold for a cover price of only $2.99, new, just 20 years ago.

A true Fabio, with Fabio himself on the cover, some titles, go from $900 to $13,000 now on eBay in 2021, when just 10 years ago, in 2010, you could buy these books bulk by the und for $1 per pound of books (about .50c each book)

Some of them can be now found as Kindle editions, but beware: the Kindle editions are HEAVILY EDITED... words like "half bred" or "buck boy" are now replaced with "Native American" or "African American", while the ages of the 14 year old girls are changed to 19, 21, or just removed entirely. Most of the fruits and vegetables are now boobs, bums, and cocks, and while the early chapter gang rape attacks are still there, they are rewritten to not include actual rape, just attempted rape, while the later chapter hero bride by rape scenes are rewritten into consent scenes.... If you want to see the way they were before being edited for Kindle, buy the original Mass Market paperbacks from the early 1990s.

I bought most of mine new. And the rest I bought in 2005 to 2007 on eBay bulk, by the pound. I have one of the world's largest and most complete collections of these now very rare and as always very controversial books.

And if you are someone too young to have ever seen a Fabio book in the grocery store check out line, or are some one who never paid attention to those books when you saw them, and are wondering now, what exactly are these wild rape fantasy books writing by men using female pennames and that all feature variations of the same story of kidnapping and raping 14year girls? Here's a few of them:

That is what 3,000 Fabio and Fabio Knock Off books look like. That stack of books is 10 piles deep, 4 piles wide, and from floor to ceiling stands just over 5 feet tall, coming up to my nose. And I've read every one of them. It takes me around 5 hours to read a 500 page Fabio novel, so I can easily read 1 to 3 novels a day.

Pay attention to the covers... ONLY the ones with a hologram heart shaped sticker on the top corner are "true Fabios", the ones without that heart in the top corner, are Fabio Knock Offs.

Speaking of Knock offs, let's move on to the other great offender:

The 50 Shades Knock Off genre is very similar. They all follow this basic story line: poor girl, desperately seeking a job, gets hired by wealthy millionaire/billionaire with a dark brooding past of childhood abuse, that he unleashes, by chaining his secretaries in his basement, AGAINST THEIR WILL, so he can jerk off will whipping them, beating them, raping them, and shoving various dangerous items up their vaginas. 

50 Shades and the 50 Shades Knock Offs are NOT BDSM. They are abuse. And it's horrifying that so many millions of people don't know the difference.

And because people don't know the difference, they call the Quaraun books BDSM. And that is terrifying.

Why?

Look at the chart below:

BDSM is ALWAYS consensual

Are the interactions between BoomFuzzy and Quaraun consensual? No. Quaraun is constantly asking BoomFuzzy to stop touching him, stop hurting him, and Quaraun is frequently brought to tears and begging "Please don't rape me" while BoomFuzzy laughs in his face.

BDSM follow rules. Set boundaries. And those rules and boundaries are respected.

For Quaraun and BoomFuzzy, there are no rules, no boundaries, no respect. Quaraun is asexual, he doesn't like sex. BoomFuzzy is sex crazy out of his mind and what BoomFuzzy wants, BoomFuzzy gets, wither Quaraun agrees to it or not.

BDSM is used for mutual pleasure. It's a role playing game, enjoyed by both partners.

Quaraun is scared of BoomFuzzy.

BDSM has safe words. BDSM stops when one party become scared, hurt, or uncomfortable with the situation.

Quaraun can't stop BoomFuzzy. BoomFuzzy is stronger than Quaraun, by quite a lot.

BDSM is about giving pleasure, building a strong connection, growing a relationship, and being in love.

BoomFuzzy, gets high on power. He loves to be in control. He gets off on watching others cower before him. He likes scaring people. He likes to see others terrified. Quaraun was born very frail and sickly. He's weak, unhealthy, and elderly. He struggles with arthritis and memory loss. Early stages of dementia are setting in. He knows he need someone to take care of him in his old age. He needs medical attention. BoomFuzzy loves this. He loves the power he knows he has over Quaraun. 

BDSM does not involve drugs or alcohol.

BoomFuzzy is a candy maker and pastry chef, he also makes wine and various drugs, most notably opium. When Quaraun says "No" to anything, sexual or not, BoomFuzzy puts drugs, usually opium into Quaraun's food. He bakes gingerbread and chocolate covered apricots, knowing can't resist either, and fills them with drugs. Opium subdues Quaraun, lulls away his freewill, makes him open to suggestion, and leaves him in a dream-state-stupor, which allows BoomFuzzy to make Quaraun do things he wouldn't normally do, or more often, so he rape Quaraun.

While the on page sex scenes are rare, the scenes of Quaraun passing out from a drug overdoes are frequent, and usually followed by a scene of Quaraun waking up the next day, fully aware that he's been raped by BoomFuzzy.

There are scenes when characters, ask Quaraun outright: "Did BoomFuzzy rape you?" and Quaraun answers with: "No. He never rapes me. I love him." And the other characters ask: "But you don't like sex. You asked him to stop. You asked him to rape you." and indeed there are frequent scenes of BoomFuzzy sexually harassing Quaraun, bullying Quaraun, trying to drag Quaraun into bed, while Quaraun says: "No. Please. I don't like sex. Please don't rape."

This is abuse, NOT BDSM.

The Quaraun series takes a deep, dark, dive down the path of abusive relationships. It is NOT BDSM. It's not meant to titillate the reader. It's meant to show the reader, how terrifying it is, to be in an abusive relationship, to love the person who constantly abuses you, and to have to live with the turmoil and confusion that comes with being terrifying of the person you love.

BoomFuzzy is not a good person. Nor is he portrayed as such. He does love Quaraun. And can be kind and loving. But he drinks, he takes drugs, he makes drugs, he's brutal, he's violent. We've seen scenes of BoomFuzzy pummelling Quaraun in a drunken rage and other characters trying to pull BoomFuzzy off of him. We've seen BoomFuzzy shove Quaraun to the ground and jump on him, deliberately trying to break his bones.

The series is full of scenes of characters, worried about Quaraun, when they see him with a black eye, or a split lip, or a bloody nose, or a broken wrist. Character are always trying to convince Quaraun, he shouldn't be with BoomFuzzy and Quaraun won't leave him.

Quaraun is with BoomFuzzy because of guilt. BoomFuzzy was in a long term committed relationship, with Gibedon, before Quaraun was even born. Gibedon was a solider. Went away to war. BoomFuzzy had a fling with Quaraun. BoomFuzzy wasn't serious about it. Quaraun was. They lived together for a few years. Then Gibedon came back. Quaraun caught BoomFuzzy and Gibedon in bed together, and stabbed them both, killed Gibedon. BoomFuzzy commit suicide. Devastated, Quaraun became a Necromancer and resurrected BoomFuzzy as a Lich.

Quaraun feels like he has to stay with BoomFuzzy now, to make up for killing Gibedon. BoomFuzzy, he loves Quaraun, but he also loved Gibedon, and he would them both together, not choosing one over the other, had Quaraun not killed Gibedon.

But Quaraun did kill Gibedon, and the guilt is crushing his mind, so he let's BoomFuzzy do anything. And BoomFuzzy's angry. He loves Quaraun, but Quaraun murdered Gibedon and Quaraun's presence is a constant reminder of that.

So BoomFuzzy takes to drinking, and sing Quaraun like a punching bag.

Their relationship is very toxic. It's not a good relationship. It's full of domestic abuse.

Does ANY of this sound like Erotica to you?

   *   READERS SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE and DO NOT SEE WHAT I ACTUALLY WROTE!

Which is why they can read 7,000 pages before realizing BoomFuzzy is black, think of Quaraun as a young adult/late teen, see sex scenes in places where no sex happened, and think of a series where nothing titillating happens at all, as Erotica.

 - BoomFuzzy is black

 - Quaraun is elderly

 - And there is nothing even remotely erotic in the Quaraun novels.


  *   BoomFuzzy is black - get off your fucking white power high horse and deal with it.

  *   Quaraun is elderly and has dementia & Alzheimer's, when he runs off naked, he needs a psychiatrist, a doctor, and some medication, not you lusting after him and calling scenes like that Erotica.

  *   Lusting after an elderly man who is wandering around naked and confused instead of thinking "Why isn't anyone helping him?", is sexual harassment and elder abuse NOT Erotica. What the fuck is wrong with you?

  *   A man getting drunk and beating the crap out of his lover, is abuse and domestic violence not BDSM.

Those scenes weren't written to titillate you. What is wrong with you people?


Keep in mind that Quaraun is an elderly man, the equivalent of a 90 year old Human.

Let me repeat... the "erotica" scenes are describing an elderly man, the equivalent of a 90 year old Human.

And let me give you a question to think about here:

Would YOU be sexually aroused by descriptions of a 90 year old man?

Are you starting to see how utterly silly the people calling the Quaraun books Erotica, are?

It makes me sad that so many people call the Quaraun books BDSM.

I'm terrified for anyone those readers are in a relationship with.

If you want to see what REAL ACTUAL Erotica reads like... read Cum 4 BigFoot by Virginia Wade.

REAL Erotica has consent and characters who are old enough to know what the word consent means.

Read real Erotica, than go back and look at Bodice Rippers and 50 Shades Knock Offs and yo can see the difference.

Like the Bodice Ripper genre, the 50 Shades Knock Off genre also focuses on abuse, rape, kidnapping, and full on no consent at all what so ever.

Though neither genre is BDSM or Erotica, both are often called BDSM and Erotica by people who haven't got a clue what real BDSM or real Erotica actually is.

These books, promote rape as sexy, show kidnapping as a form of seduction, and often show the hero beating the shit out of the young girl's parents as though this was a good thing, when the parents try to rescue the girl from the rapist who kidnapped her.

These genres are very, very, very dark, and promote illegal activities of kidnapping and rape as being good fun things to do.

Often called The Rape Fantasy genre, these books have horrified millions of women, who are shocked when they learn that these genres even exit.

It was because of this shock and horror that lead to the rise of the Pink Humor , which is a back lash of women writing male characters being kidnapped and raped by other male characters, to show men: you wouldn't like it if it happened to you, so why do you think it's okay to do this to women?

Like every such scene in the Pink Humor genre, the boobily scenes of the Quaraun novels, were written to poke fun at Romance and Erotica and show the reader how WRONG it is to glorify sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexual humiliation, as something to masturbate to.

They directly show you: look this is how humiliating it is for a man to trip on the hems of a ball gown and fall down the stairs, and land dick out on the table below.

It's degrading.

It's upsetting.

This IS NOT sexy.

This is NOT seduction.

It's embarrassing.

It's humiliating. 

Stop writing scenes  that focus on none-stop sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexual humiliation, stop writing scenes of women tripping on her skirts, her blousing flying off and boobs landing on the table below and treating it like it seduction!

It's fucking rape, you fucking retards!

It's degrading.

It's upsetting.

This IS NOT sexy.

This is NOT seduction.

It's embarrassing.

It's humiliating.

This is NOT erotic.

Why do you think it is something to masturbate too?

What is wrong with you sick mother fuckers who jerk off to this? 

Look, it's NOT sexy when you put a man in a dress and have him fall down the stairs,  and his dick on display for no reason at all. So WHY do you do it to women? This is NOT erotic. Why do you think it is? What is wrong with you sick mother fuckers who jerk off to this?

And while the Fabio novels were popular, readers of Pink Humor, including readers of the Quaraun series, understood, yeah, it IS humiliating to fall down the stairs and fall out of your cloths at the same time. No, there is NOTHING sexy about this incredibly humiliating scene. Yes, people who get off on this sort of sexual humiliation ARE sick in the head.

But for some reason, in recent years, since the rise of 50 Shades of Grey, younger readers who have clearly never heard of the Pink Humor genre and also have never read ACTUAL Erotica, have started to take an interest in the Quaraun series, thinking of it as Erotica, and define the very scenes which MOCK Erotica and show WHY EROTICA IS BAD, as being among the WORLD'S BEST EROTICA EVER WRITTEN!!!!!

The very fact that those scenes were written IN PROTEST AGAINST Erotica, is very upsetting for me to find this new wave of Quaraun readers, buying the books and reading them AS Erotica.

Think about it.

These scenes were written to show this man utterly humiliated, embarrassed, horrified, mortified, and end with him running out of the room in tears, too embarrassed to even go back in the building to get his things from his room, so he can check out. He just runs off into the woods in tears and cries, while his friend gets their things out of the apartment and pays the hotel.

These scenes are not written in any senses of titillation at all. 

They are written DIRECTLY to show the ACTUAL REACTION someone would have in that situation.

In Erotica novels, a woman who falls boobily down the stairs, her skirts somehow catching on the chandelier and leaving her dress hanging from the ceiling while she lays dazed on the nearest table, usually end with her dancing on the table and being fucked by every single man in the tavern, loving every minute of it, and thanking god she fell down the stairs and left her dress behind.

And that NOT how a real women would act if he fell down the stairs, ripped her bodice, and landed on the table with her breasts exposed.

It's NOT sexy!

It's NOT seductive!

It's NOT erotic!

She would run out of the room in tears.

Embarrassed. Humiliated. Mortified. Just like Quaraun does.

And can I remind you one more time that Quaraun is an elderly man, the equivalent of a 90 year old Human.

Let me repeat... the "erotica" scenes are describing an elderly man, the equivalent of a 90 year old Human.

And let me give you a question to think about here:

Would YOU be sexually aroused by descriptions of a 90 year old man?

Are you starting to see how utterly silly the people calling the Quaraun books Erotica, are?

Are you starting to see yet why I keep pointing out that: 

   *   You thinking of Quaraun as young, a teen, or a young adult, does not change the fact, that he is the equivalent of a 90 year old Human, exactly as you were told in the novels.

   *   You ignoring the fact that in just volume 1, I described BoomFuzzy as BLACK 5,678 times, doesn't change the fact, he's still black.


   *   You imagining BoomFuzzy as white, doesn't change the fact, that BoomFuzzy is black.


   *   You thinking of BoomFuzzy as white, doesn't mean that I wrote him the way your fucked up brain thought of him.


   *   I wrote BoomFuzzy as a black man, and no amount of you IGNORING what I wrote, is going to change the fact that BoomFuzzy is black.


Just like the same way:


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!


That people try to sexualize humiliation scenes, is horrifying to me, and that's WHY I don't like it when people call the Quaraun books Erotica.

Abuse is not funny.

Abuse is not sexy.

Abuse is not titillating.

What is wrong with you people?

Why would you sexualize something like that?

And it's made even worse, when people who never even read the Quaraun books, hear other people calling the Quaraun books Erotica, and then they send me death threats, accusing me of writing Erotica.

They hate Erotica as much as I do, or they wouldn't be sending death threats to Erotica authors saying they want to blow the brains out of every Erotica author on the planet.

And yet, had they READ my books, they would have known that I hate Erotica as much as they do.

But because sick freaks get off on sexualizing the humiliation scenes in the Quaraun series, people who know nothing about the Quaraun series end up thinking it is Erotica.

When the fact remains, the ONLY people who find the Quaraun series erotica, are sick bastards who sexually abuse, harassment, and public humiliation!

And had the people who are sending me death threats taken the time to actually READ the Quaraun books BEFORE sending me death threats, they would have known that and been just as horrified by the people calling it Erotica as I am!


Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!



I have Autism (Kenner's Syndrome, aka ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Asperger's which it is in no way, shape, or form related to - Autism is NOT on the Autism spectrum, only illnesses that are not related to Autism, but have 3 or more symptoms common to Autism so could be confused with and/or misdiagnosed as Autism are on the Autism Spectrum. There are 680 Autism Spectrum diseases, including Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Muscular Dystrophy, ALS, and even some forms of cancer. Actual Autism is one of the world's rarest diseases effecting only 1 in every 1,200,000 people and requires the agreement of 3 psychiatrists to diagnose it due to the law requiring parents to be immediately arrested and the child put in foster care when the diagnosis is made. There are only 12 psychiatrists on the planet legally authorized to make a diagnosis of actual Autism, again not to be confused with Asperger's which effects 1 in 3 people and can be diagnosed by pretty much anyone. Unlike Asperger's which people are born with, you are not born with Autism, rather Autism is a severe psychosis also known as Childhood Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Every known case of an actual medical diagnosis of actual Autism, has been aa child that was raped between the ages of 3 and 8 and 97% of all cases have been children who were used in child sex prostitution rings/human traffic of sex with toddlers, thus why the law requires the parents to be immediately arrested while still at the doctors office when the diagnosis is made. Because of the arrest law, doctors are hesitant to make a diagnosis of actual Autism.) 

I was raped by adult male priests more than 500 times by the time I was 8 years old.  My first contact with none sexually abusive adults, was the FBI raid that rescued me and 140 other children who were keep locked in rusted dog cages piled up ceiling high, like a puppy mill, only we were human children. Of the 140 of us rescued in that FBI raid, more than half of them commit suicide before reaching the age of 18. Today 40 years later, fewer than 12 of us are still alive. Most were murdered. Beaten to death by men who recognized they were the adult version of a child they had paid money to rape.

I say all of this for a reason. 

In addition to Autism, I also have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder on extremes (actual medical diagnoses) and it makes doing simple everyday things like eating, bathing, an all day chore. I also have Agoraphobia and the longest I went, not only not going outside, but even going out my room was 15 years. I have Selective Mutism, which cripples any ability I have to communicate with others.

I can't function on any kind of social level at all. And after the FBI raid, social workers classified me as "a feral child" a child who acted more animal than human, and was prone to attack humans on sight, growling, hissing, biting, clawing, like a cat.

They assumed I could not understand them. They didn't know that before my uncles took over and started the sex ring, my grandmother had taught me to read and write, so they were surprised when I was able to write and communicate very clearly through writing.

I initially took up writing as a way to communicate with others, because my anxiety levels in the presence of humans was so bad, that I can't talk when in the same room with one. The social interaction I had between the age of 8 and the age of 31, was to be beaten with cinder block bricks, raped by Mormon priests, and locked back in my cage.

So I had 27 years of KNOWING from first hand experience that humans were evil, humans beat you with bricks, humans hurt you, humans rape you, humans starve you, humans torture you, humans break your bones. 

Love, friends, schools, doctors, hugs, TV, movies, warm blankets, bathing, eating with forks and spoons, kindness - these were concepts I had never heard of and couldn't comprehend. 

That human touch could exist WITHOUT it causing pain, I couldn't even fathom that.

Than came the psychiatrists and psychologists, 340 of them from all over the world, to study me, like I was a bug under a microscope. I hated it. I just wanted to be left alone. But no. I was a freak. An oddity. A child whom had been raised completely devoid of any form of love, kindness, or affection. So now I get the joys of being the poster child, whose face is plastered in every college psychology textbook that talks about extreme child abuse and it's effects on the psychosis. All any of that did, was reinforce what I already knew: humans don't give a shit. 30 years later, now other psychologists chide those original psychologists for doing more harm to me than good because, they treated me like a lab rat instead of trying to teach me humans were good.

In the end, I locked myself away on my grandmother's farm, and took up writing. Put up all the 144 billboards in my driveway that have brought millions of tourists to Maine to see Maine's crazy author with all her billboard signs. 

I don't try to write characters who are things I know nothing about.

My main character, grew up raped and abused throughout his childhood, because this is the only thing I know about childhood and I write what I know.

My main character, sleeps on a pile of hay, even as an adult, unable to get used to using beds, because I sleep on a pile of hay, my raring phobia of beds astounds people but I associate beds with rape not sleep and I write what I know. I can not write a scene of a character enjoying a bed, liking a bed, sleeping on a bed, or doing anything other than running in terror from beds, because I don't know it feels like to see a bed as a place to sleep. I write what I know.

My main character, suffers massive phobias, he's scared of everything, he runs in terror from humans, flees to the forest to cower in fear, he can not function socially, because I write what I know and his fictional phobias are the very real world phobias that I live with. I live in growth forests of Maine because fleeing to the safety of trees from the monsters that call themselves humans, that is what I do, so that's why I write my main character doing the same.

My main character, has no friends, because I can't even begin to imagine what having a friend might be like and I write what I know.

My main character, is mostly silent, near mute, suffering severe selective mutism that is trigger by the sight of humans, because I am mostly silent, near mute, suffering severe selective mutism that is trigger by the sight of humans, and I write what I know.

My main character, did not go to school and can not understand what others are talking about when they talk about school, because I did not go to school and I can't understand what others are talking about when they talk about school, and I write what I know.

The readers of my books, see the world through the eyes of a character who lives in mortal terror of the human race, they see the story told from the point of view of a character whose social anxiety is so crippling he can barely function at all whenever humans are around.

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

I wrote my books that way, and see the world through my eyes and I live in mortal terror of the human race, my social anxiety is so crippling I can barely function at all whenever humans are around.

I write what I know.

And this is why, you see sex ONLY appear in my novels in the form of rape and abuse, show through the eyes of a horrified character traumatized by sex abuse and wanting anything and everything to do with sex, out of his life.

I write what I know, and if you had known me, you would have known too that I carry a machete and am a expert at castrating rapists, I have been since I was 8 years old. It's WHY I can write castration scenes with such vivid detail, why I know it's not quick or easy to castrate a man

I write what I know.

Did you never notice how sex scenes in my novels, end in castration and penis mutilation?

I write what I know.

I know that men are evil and use their penises like weapons against children, and the only safe man is a castrated man.

And had you read my books, you would know WHY, I say any one who calls my books Erotica, probably belongs in prison.

YOU calling my books Erotica, marks you as:

   *   Either someone with no clue what Erotica is.

   *   Or someone is a very dangerous rapist.

You either brand yourself as a retarded idiot or a dangerous criminal, when you call my books Erotica.

People who have ACTUALLY READ my books, know what they are, and know that there is no Erotica in them, not even when there is a sex scene.

And when people who have ACTUALLY READ my books, hear YOU call my books Erotica, they know either you did not read my books, or you are too retarded to know what Erotica is, or you a deviated pervert with a sex fetish for stabbing people to death during sex and should be in prison with my uncles.

Again... you might want to check your sources BEFORE you make a fool of yourself.

When you hear someone else call my books Erotica, and than you run off calling my books Erotica too, without finding out if that person lied to you or not, well, you come off looking like an even bigger fool than they did, don't you?

But you people didn't stop with just calling my books Erotica. No. You called me a BDSM dominatrix and you sent people to my house. 

The Old Orchard Beach address is the only one I use online because my uncles posted it all over the internet in 2007. But it's not my ONLY place of residence. 

I have 4 ADDITIONAL addresses, in as many other towns. I live in multiple locations, rotating between them, depending on my health (and which hospital I need to be near by) and the convention season. And NONE of those addresses have ever been put online, ever.

But ThingyChan, got one of my addresses from Mervin Bruce Atwater, February 2019, and because he paid her $500 to do so, she posted it on Discord, told her people that I was a BDSM Dominatrix who liked "surprise gangbangs" and sent 5 men to my house. They got the wrong house and raped the 2 sisters who lived next door.

She hired 5 men to rape me, while telling them I was a BDSM Dominatrix.

I am a Voodoo Priestess. Voodoo is a branch f the Catholic Church. I'm a Catholic Nun. That's why I dress like I do, with the veil on my head, the long robes, you know, like Catholic nuns do.

In what fucked up world does being a Catholic nun = being a BDSM Dominatrix?

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Kendra SilverMander posted in October 2006, on the Maine NaNoWriMo Forum, a request for a hitman to kill me, because according to her I wrote Erotica and needed to be stopped because as she put it it was her turn to shine and my Erotica sales were in the way of her Erotica sales, and 4 days later a grease fryer bomb blew up my house.

She hired a man to build a bomb, because she thought I wrote Erotica that was competing with her Erotica. She IS supposedly an Erotica author or so she says, but I'm not and Erotica author, and I don't know why she claims I am.

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

You stupid sex crazed idiots.

You thinking about sex, does not mean I'm doing anything with sex.

You thinking about sex when I talk, does not mean I'm talking about sex.

You thinking about sex when you read, does not mean I wrote about sex.

You having an erection while you read a murder scene in one of my novels, does not mean I wrote that murder scene to arouse you nor does t make that scene BDSM.

You having an erection while reading about a man being castrated in one of my novels, does not mean I'm a BDSM dominatrix.

Take your perverted fucked up head out of your ass, and take a look at reality for a change.

You have a sex addiction problem and you need help.

And just because you are a perverted jackass who puts sex, Erotica, and BDSM into everything you see, doesn't mean that I have anything to do with sex, BDSM, or Erotica.

A bomb blew up my house because you sex crazed jackasses couldn't stop spreading your fucking slanderous sex lies about me and my books.

My children were murdered because you sex crazed jackasses couldn't stop spreading your fucking slanderous sex lies about me and my books.

When does it end?

And sit back and laugh and your ha-ha sex jokes?

People are DEAD because of you!

Is it still FUNNY?

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

The difference between me and other authors is the motivation behind why we write.

They write because they love hearing praise.

I write because I love my characters and would rather spend time with them, than Humans.

They desire Humans to kiss your ass.

I desire for Humans to die.

They can't exit without Humans glorifying them.

The longer I exist, the more I desire to kill every Human I meet.

They think humans are great and seek their approval.

I've yet to meet a good, kind, loving, moral, or decent Human. I've been beaten, raped, tortured, mutilated, crippled, starved, and caged by Humans.

They want Humans to put them on a pedestal.

I want Humans to die.

They bend to the whims of Human demands.

I fight back and shatter the teeth out of Humans with the very same bricks they used to break my jaw.

They live to be praised by Humans.

My family was murdered by Humans.

They are blind to the true nature of Humanity.

I've seen Humans for the vile creatures they really are.

They think Humans will love them.

I know Humans are completely incapable of love.

They write about Humans and their relationships in hopes of winning human praises.

I write Elves who eat Humans.

They write to gain human glory.

I write to have someone to talk to, even if it is just a fictional Elf and his equally fictional unicorn.

They desire humans to acknowledge them.

I know Humans aren't worth the feces they shit out.

Success or flop has never been a motivating factor for me.

Success via sales or money or good reviews, is dependant upon humans and humans are vile, despicable creatures whom I loath.

I don’t write for Humans.

I write for me.

When I was 8 years old, Humans locked me in a cage. I was beaten daily with a brick. A foundation nail was driven through my hip. I received one salt herring once every 12 days, I was considered “mute” because my jaw and teeth were shattered so badly that I could talk. When the FBI raid rescued me and let me out of the cage I was 31 years old and barely weighed 70lbs, had to be talk how to walk, bath, brush hair and teeth, and I was 42 years old when it was discovered that I was NOT mute, but rather needed surgery to reconstruct my jaw and suddenly I could talk.

Things like school, doctors, friends, kindness, hugs, TV, these were things I had never heard of and knew nothing about.

I was 37 years old the first time anyone ever told me I was a Human, and even now, I do not believe it.

Unlike Humans, I feel love and pain. I feel pity and compassion. And because of this, I KNOW I am not Humans, because Humans are incapable of feeling love. Humans are incapable of being kind. Humans are evil.

When I was put in a cage at 8 years old, I was told it was because I was a Demon, a Changeling. My uncles convinced my mother, herself a child, closer in age to me than most sisters are to each other, that her real child had been taken by Satan and killed and me, the Demon left in it’s place.

Teams of hundreds of psychiatrists and psychologists from all around the world gathered to study me. The feral child, the caged child, the child whom had never been hugged, the child who was never loved,

The news reporters called it The Worst Child Abuse Case In American History.

That child was me.

I write, because I have no friends and don’t fool myself into think there exists out there a Human capable of ever loving me enough to want to be friends with me.

And so I write about Elves. Lives who kill Humans. Elves who are my friends, because I have no one else. I write long conversations with the Elves, because I’ve no one else to talk to or with.

This is the difference between they and I.

They lust for human approval.

I vomit in disgust at the very thought of human existence.

They are a fool who await humans to love them.

I know Humans are incapable of any such thing.

They seek the glory and praise of reviews written by humans.

Humans have only praise and glory to themselves. Humans are selfish. Humans are evil. Humans are the bringers of pain. Humans exist only to kill, steal, and destroy. 

Humans will never love you.

Humans will only ever hurt you.

And so long as you are bound by your desire for Human praise, human glory, human written reviews, you will forever be their slave. You will never have freedom. You will always be looking to the next pat on the back, the next whisper of ego, and you'll never be free to write what you desire to write, because you'll always be groveling at human fee, waiting for their pitiful scraps. You can't stand on your own two feet. You require the crutch on other Humans.

Me on the other hand, I've learned from experience that the only good human is a dead human, for there are no good humans.

THIS is what makes me different from other authors. And why I don't write sex.

Other authors, have a drive a glut lust for sales. And they know humanity is evil and therefore sex sells. So what do they write? They write what they think they have to write to gain sales: sex. They write what they feel pressured by society to write.

Me? I don't give 2 shits what society wants.

You want sex? Well go fuck yourself then.

I don't care what you want.

I don't write for you.

Do you know I want? I want to know what happiness feels like. I've never felt that. I don't know what it feels like to be happy.

I want to know what it feels like to not be in pain. I don't know what it feels like to have a day without pain.

I want to know what it feels like to have a friend. I've never had a friend.

I want to know what it feels like to have interaction with a person, who does not hit you with bricks, or golf clubs, or waves guns in your face. 

I want to know what kindness feels like. I've never experienced kindness. 

I don’t care about genre.

I don’t care about marketing.

I don’t care about sales.

I don’t care about money.

I don’t care about praise.

I don’t care about reviews.

I don’t care if any one reads it.

None of these things motivates me.

All of those things are bonuses if they happen, but as they rely on Humans to happen, I do not expect them.

Even publication does not motivate me to write.

My motivation has come and gone long before the story is even published.

Companionship is my motivation.

I have no one to talk to.

I have no one to spend time with.

I have no one to love.

I am incredibly, unimaginably lonely.

I desire to have someone to talk to.

I desire to have someone to spend time with me.

I desire someone to love.

But I am unloved. Unwanted. Alone.

No human accepts me as part of their society.

No human has ever been my friend.

No human has ever wanted to talk to me.

I am motivated to write, friends.

I can find no one like me.

I live in a world filled with vile, evil, hateful Humans.

I appear to either be the last of my kind or the only one of my kind that ever was.

I am alone and surrounded by billions of Humans who hate every fibre of my soul and seek only to kill every pet I have, to destroy everything I own, Humans do nothing but kill, steal, and destroy, and so as they have hated me, so too do I now hate them.

I write, to create others like myself.

I write, to create friends to talk to.

I do not write to cater to readers.

I do not write to fit into a genre.

I write because I have no one to talk to.

I write to create someone who is willing to be my friend.

I write to create someone who is willing to talk to me.

This is why my novels are near entirely dialogue with almost no narration at all.

This is why my novels have no definable genre.

This is why my novels contain no action. No adventure. Just one character talking for 500 pages.

Most volumes I write fall into what many would call failures while very few have ever reached anything close to what most would call success. And this does not bother me, because those things neither motivate nor demotivate me.

I know every Human hates me and therefore I am never motivated by anything humans do.

Success in any has never spurred me to write more like it, I have a volume that won international awards, rave reviews, sold 10,000 copies within an hour of it's release. People want more like it, but, sales, awards, rave reviews, requests for more, none of that motivates me to to do more like it. 

While failures have never inspired me to avoid write more like it. I have several books that never even sold 100 copies, and have many bad reviews, and people send me hate mail over them telling me not to write more like them, and what do I do? Write 5 more just like it.

I don't write for YOU.

Yes, I know every one says to write for the reader, write for the market. 

To hell with the readers.

To hell with the market.

Why should I care about readers? Do reader care about me? No. When push come to shove, they don't give a shit about me.

Why should care about the market? The market is fickle, just like readers. Trends and fads come and go. 

The thing is, I’ve never been inspired by bowing to the will of others. And I've got lots of scars and broken bones to prove it.

And what MOST people classify as success, I classify as you being castrated, stripped of your balls and your dignity, forced to grovel in hopes of favor from another.

What are you?

A man?

Or a dog?

I find myself utterly disgusted by what most people think of as success, and by what you clearly see as success.

Why do you need the approval of others to move forward?

Because you have no self worth.

You lack confidence in yourself so you rely on others to pat you on the back.

I suppose that is an advantage of having spent 27 years of my life, including my entire childhood, teen years, and young adult years locked too small for most dogs to fit in. Than again, that's what makes it so utterly ridiculous what this Kendra woman has done, considering how it's not possible for me to have been the bully who bullied her in school, when I not only never went to school, I was locked up in a cage!

I survived because I had strong will and self worth.

I was only 8 years old when I accepted the fact that nothing I ever did was ever going to please anyone, and if I didn't please myself, well than I'd never please any one. And that is why I write what I want to read, not what YOU want to read.

And that is why I do not write sex, even though you came here looking for sex.

So you authors who write about sex, to gain praise from strangers. To what end? As soon as the next fad comes in they'll forget you.

You pampered little fool. Nothing but a weak little pussy.

YOU wouldn't last a week, in the living conditions I lived in for 27 years.

Even prisoners had better living conditions than I had.

And all you care about it sex.

Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex!

Your obsession with sex is why I grew up like I did. Because men like you had to get their jollies by raping children.

Think about it.

If sex crazy people like you didn't exist, men like my uncles wouldn't keep little girls in cages.

If sex crazy people like you did not exist, authors wouldn't feel compelled to fill their stories with sex.

The world has so many stories that contain not a shred of sex.

Edgar Alan Poe never wrote sex.

Robert Louis Stevenson never wrote sex.

Charles Dickens never wrote sex.

Barbara Cartland, the queen of Romance, never wrote sex.

There are millions of novels, by millions of authors, that contain no sex.

And guess what, gay characters can exist without sex.

The fact that your brain defaults to gay couple = erotica, says more about your and your own perverted mind, than it does anything else.

But the fact remains, Kendra Silvermander, lives in Maine and knows how Puritan Mainers are, how violent they become if you put sex in anything. So what did she do? She incited them into sex-hating, violent riots, by lying to them and telling them gay novels = gay sex. Not one of them took the time to READ my novels, or they would have known she was lying to them.

Than Claudia ThingyChan comes along, also sees gay couple and takes it one step further and runs around telling people I do BDSM and am a dominatrix.

I didn't even know what BDSM was. I had to go look like up, to find out what she was accusing me of. It's horrible. Don't look up BDSM. It's awful. It's disgusting.

Didn't know what a dominatrix was either. Or fluffering, another word she used. 

What Claudia did was vile.

We used to live on High Street in Biddeford, do you know why we don't any more?

We moved February 2019.

Do you know why?

Because of ThingyChan.

Do you know what she did?

You remember my car the Dazzling Razzberry with 2.5million marbles glued to it?

The vandalism of that car... she did that. And a lot more.

She made 200+ VODs and posted 2,000+ Discord posts calling me a dominatrix, saying I was into bondage, BDSM, and foot fetishes, including to post my home address in her Discord, telling her perverted, immoral, deviated followers to go my house to have sex with me, and some of her followers, did just that, expecting to find me willing to throw myself on them, expecting they could do anything they wanted to me.

Do you know why my family moved in 2019?

Because she and her followers were banned from harassing my chat, she sent her simps to my house, telling them to rape me.

At the time I was staying with my 82 year old disabled dad on his 3rd floor apartment, in a building that had 28 families in it.

To get in the building you have to go through a front entry hall, go through 2 separate sets of doors, and then find your way through the halls and stairways to find which apartment you are looking for.

Because a group of 5 men showed up at 2AM one night. They broke BOTH the 2 front doors off and threw them out into the street.

They made their way up the stairs, punched the glass and screens out of every window they passed on their way.

With baseball bats they smashed up all of the posts on the stair railings, broke the railings off the stairs and threw them out a window onto one of the resident's cars below.

They ripped the front door off the apartment next door to mine, went into that apartment and gang raped the 2 young mothers (sisters) who lived there with their 2 and 4 year old babies.

After that they went back outside, smashing the walls on their way down, pulling out electrical wiring and plumbing pipes as they went.

Once outside they proceeded to trash the 3 cars parked in the driveway, one of them being my Dazzling Razzberry. They used their bats to smash out the glass, and smash up the metal.

They did more than $230,000 in damages to our landlord's building, put 2 women in the hospital, put my 82 year old dad in the hospital with a ruptured kidney, left 1 little 10 year old boy dead, left 28 families homeless, and totalled 3 cars, including my car The Dazzling Razzberry which they did $30,000 in damages to. EVERYBODY in the building had to move because the damages were so bad that the city condemned the building.

27 High Street, Biddeford, Maine. Go look at it. The whole thing has been a construction site for the past 3 years. They did so much damage, it's taking the landlord years to rebuild and repair.

The deserve to be raped raids started out when she posted that meme she made on Discord telling her Discord followers a huge amounts of sex fanfiction lies she had made up about me and people believed her lies as actual fact. 800+ of her Discord followers started reposting her lies about me on Twitter, causing a group of radical right-wing, anti-sex extremists to attack my Twitch channel, my Reddit profile, my Twitter account, and my FaceBook account.

Once she found out how easy it was to instigate people into violent attacks, she started making daily 5hr VODs about me, making up wild stories about my so-called "BDSM Dominatrix" career, which further enraged her Discord followers, who gathered up even more of their Twitter followers to continue the attack.

She made 200+ of these lie filled BDSM videos about me, and posted variations of her meme as a running gag in her Discord more than 2,000 times, inciting her followers to pure outrage and extreme levels of both online and offline violence.

I don't use Discord so I was unaware of what she was doing and for nearly 2 years was unaware of the source of the deserve to be raped attackers.

As I am an extremist Christian myself (a 5th generation FLDS Mormon) who shuns all things related to sex, I was baffled by the steady daily influx of sex accusations, BDSM accusations, fetish freak accusations, and other highly sexual slander that was being accused of me in my Twitch chat.

I discovered what she was doing October 21, 2019, when she did a livestream on Twitch titled: "Making Bjorn a BDSM Bondage Fetish Freak Just Like EelKat"... seeing my name in the title of a stream baffled me, and I opened the stream to find her, yet again making 3D models of torture devices, this time, making a male BDSM Dominatrix named Bjorn who looked and dressed near identical to Avallac'h, and watched as she and 37 members of her chat, spent 5 hours with the running gag "Just like EelKat" which involved someone saying something highly sexual, followed by the next person answering with "Just like EelKat"... the stream ended abruptly when a male voice from her Discord voice chat said: "EelKat's in your viewer list, she's watching this, better take it to Discord."

One of her mods, immediately sent me an invite to the Discord and said "You should probably see this, it's really bad. I'm sorry. I don't think she thought you'd ever find out."

When I opened the Discord, I saw, downloaded, and watched all 200+ of her VODs about me – which I still have copies of. I read all 2,000+ of her posts about me.

Her Discord has a NSFW BDSM section and in it a massive running gag, which involved those same 800+ people who near daily attacked my Twitch chat... there were 2 years of the running gag "Just Like EelKat", where every few minutes, all day and all night, to the tune of several hundred thousand posts over the course of 2 years... one person would post a vile sex act, and the next person would reply "Just like EelKat".

A majority of the posts involved the commenter detailing how they would rape and kill me, by using BDSM to rape me to death. The more violent the rape details were, the more she encouraged them.

Over the course of my searching the usernames, I found one very alarming one: her brother, who ran streams of himself hacking other streamer accounts and "teaching" viewers how to hijack other streamer's channels, so you could use their channels to post shit in other channel's chats and make it look like they had done it when in fact they had not.

He bragged that he did the same thing on Discord, outright saying that he had created fake Discord accounts in EelKat's name to make it look like she (me) was posting on Discord.

He pulled up 15 fake EelKat accounts on Twitch: EeelKat, ElKat, EeIKat, ect... all one letter off and at a first glance mistaken for my name, and so... THIS is WHY I stopped posting in EVERY ONE'S chat... because I had previously run into people making the claim that I had posted sex links and BDSM and erotica posts in their chat, when I have never done such a thing, and it now became clear to me why people had thought I had posted such things in their channels... this streamer and her brother had created 15 Twitch channels, with usernames so close to mine that at a first glance, streamers reading their chat thought it was me, and we all know how hard it is to focus on chat and play games, streamers mistake usernames even when they are not similar.

I started looking into these fake EelKat account's and I found that they showed up on nearly every channel I followed (back in 2019 the follow list was public so anyone could see who followed anyone else... this event was in fact, the REASON Twitch removed public viewing access of the follower lists). This twitch streamer, would post lewd sex posts in the chat, and her brother, using a fake EelKat account would respond with horrifyingly gross sex responses, and gibber nonsense about erotica and BDSM ... AND would add random, comments about Avallac'h as well, to try to "authenticate" that it being me.

Thus I discovered the source of some of the most horrific rumours being spread not only about Avallac'h, but also about me, as these two degenerates set about to trying to convince every streamer I followed that I was a deviated sex crazed manic with a BDSM fetish, while also making it look like I myself had started the rumours that Avallac'h raped Ciri.

It’s horrifying the level of extremes this streamer and her brother had gone to impersonate me and try to damage my reputation.

This is a HUGE streamer with a HUGE Discord and she attacked my tiny 300 follower channel, because that's what she does.

She's a bully.

So isn’t her brother.

And every one who follows them.

I've since found 64 others she did this same thing to. Most of them gave up streaming and deleted their channels because of her rape raids on their channels. All the streamers she attacks are rape survivors.

Basically, her entire group is devoted to attacking small female streamers with rape threats.

She is a vile, evil, witch hunting cyberbully, who takes sadistic delight in obliterating the reputations of small streamers, by spreading hateful, malicious, slanderous sex lies about them. She is an absolutely horrible person.

Sadly, she's just one of many monsters in this growing trend of targeted witch hunting channels that are spreading across Twitch like a plague.

Hurting others SHOULD NOT be a form of entertainment.

What this streamer and her brother did to me, and did to others, and what other streamers like them do to thousands of people every day... it’s wrong... and they are no different than the Roman Gladiators, The Greek Colosseums... The Hunger Games...

We live in a world, where people see hurting others as fun entertainment.

That's what it all boils down to.

People thinking it is fun to hurt others.

Well I assure you, that if you were on the receiving side of the pain, you wouldn't think it so fun anymore.

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

One woman with a perverted sex crazed mind who saw sex in paces where there was no sex, fueled by hate caused all of this.

And you want to know the worst thing... it's now known that she, a woman 20 years older than me, thought I was some brat bully who beat her up in grade school... and yet, I'm the child who was locked in a cage from the time I was 8 years old. I never went to school. She mistook me for someone else.

This entire thing, all of it, was intended for someone else. She found me, thought she found her childhood bully and went psycho stalker on my family since 2004, and now my family is dead, because not one single solitary person, not even the police, would lift a finger to stop her... and even worse half the fucking people in the towns of Saco, Biddeford, and Old Orchard Beach joined her in her crusade attacks on us.

They believed her stupid as sex lies, gay lies, trans lies, bdsm lies, erotica lies, and dominatrix lies about me, and now my family is dead and I hope every one of you fucking bastards who helped her in this all burn in hell where you belong!

And THAT is the event Claudia ThingyChan 3 years later decided it would be funny to make sex meme jokes about on Twitch!

Police arrived and did nothing.

No one did ANYTHING to stop the Ku Klux Klan's attack on me and my children April 10, 2015.

This is what life in Maine is like, when you're not white or they think you might possibly be gay.

Why did the police do nothing?

I'm not white, in case you hadn't noticed.

Every call to the police, the 911 phone is answered by a woman calling herself "Cathy" and she laughs and says: "No one cares about your people, you fucking Gypsy" than hangs up.

Welcome to Maine. The whitest and straightest state in America.

They built up a series of lies about who I am and what I write and than they used Twitter and KBoards to gather up a group of psycho-crazed haters to violently attack offline, destroying my home, my cars, and MURDERING my family.

WHY?

I don't understand why they did this.

What is wrong with these people?

I did notice that BOTH Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingChan, said: "She plays that game that's like Dungeons and Dragons, but ain't Dungeons and Dragons. SpellJammer and RavenLoft...."

I'm sorry, but your ignorance is showing. 

SpellJammer IS Dungeons and Dragons. It's one of the 5 dimensions of the Forgotten Realms from the world of Drizzt, the most famous Elf in any fucking anything. Even people who don't know Dungeons and Dragons know Drizzt. Even people who don't know Lord of the Rind, Sword of Shanara, or Game of Thrones, know Drizzt. Drizzt is the ORIGINAL Elf. Yes, BEFORE Lord of the Rings. Even Tolkien was inspired by Drizzt. SpellJammer comes from the Drizzt franchise. And EVERYTHING EVERYONE knows about Elvs, in every TV show, every novel, every game, even Lord of the Rings, all comes from Drizzt.

SpellJammer is the origin story of the Illithids/Mind Flayers and Beholders as well. They did not exist before SpellJammer. Without SpellJammer you wouldn't have Illithids/Mind Flayers and Beholders in anything else in Dungeons and Dragons.

SpellJammer is the universe in which the Forgotten Realms exist. It's the Solar System itself, and all the planets. It's Elf wizards who use flying pirate ships, space ice/frost magic, and portals to explore the galaxy and travel between planets. It brings together EVERY realm in the DnD universe to explain that EACH DND world exists all in a single galaxy and characters from The Forgotten Realms are able to visit character from GreyHawk, because they are 2 separate planets within a single solar system. It also explains why Elves, Dwarves, Mind Flayers, Gnomes, Teflings, Orcs, ect exist in EVERY DnD realm, even in societies where logically they shouldn't be.

SpellJammer is NOT a separate game, rather it is a set of ITEMS, SKILLS, MAPS, LORE, RACES, and CLASSES, created by DnD creator Gary Gygax, that you can add to ANY DND game. The new races include The Moon Elves, Mind Flayers, Thinker Gnomes, and Beholders (yes, Mind Flayers and Beholders were original designed as PLAYER CHARACTERS not villians/monsters! Mind Flayers were Psion Merchants when they were first created). It adds a fleet of ships, including the Mind flayer Nautiloid that can be bought and flown by the adventuring party.

Among the Classes added are the Helmesmen - the mage Elf captains of massive ice coated pirate ships that fly between planets, and their Navigators, Frost Elf Mages who use mage to fly the ships under their Helmsman's command. The primary map of SpellJammer is The Rock of Brawl, a small mini-moon that acts as a space dock, where merchants from all over the galaxy gather. This is where you can buy a flying pirate ship to add to your adventure party, or hire a Helmesmen and Navigators to fly the ship. 

If your DM wants to add any Class, Race, Item, etc. from a DnD campaign that is not the current location, he can send the players to Rock of Brawl to buy those items, learn those classes, or add a character of that race.

THIS is what SpellJammer was made for.

It is not separate from Dungeons and Dragons, rather it is a space port within DnD that acts as connective tissue to content any of the DnD world's together to allow DMs to allow their players to use races, classes, and items from various campaign worlds. 

Originally created in 1973 under the name Metamorphosis Alpha, SpellJammer pre-dates EVERY campaign of the entire DnD franchise and is actually the FIRST and ORIGINAL DnD world ever created. Metamorphosis Alpha was rebranded for 2AD&D and republished under it's new name SpellJammer. 

RavenLoft is a HOUSE inside of Forgotten Realms. The Castle Ravenloft belongs to a family of alien beings, called Vampires by Humans, who are trapped in the Forgotten Realms and drink blood/eat Humans to survive. Based largely off Dr Who, The Castle Ravenloft is actually a time machine, and not a house. It changes shape to match it's surroundings, and got stuck in the shape of a Gothic castle. It moves locations, and can arrear in any city on any planet, though it often shows up in mist filled swamps and forests.

Gary Gygax created The Castle RavenLoft and the Strahd Family who lives in it, to allow DMs to add a Gothic/Horror/Haunted House/Vampire element to ANY DnD campaign. Vampires and Haunted Houses do not exist in DnD campaigns, normally, but many DMs wanted to add such elements, thus the RavenLoft add on was added, and because of it's backstory as aliens in a shifting time machine, The Castle RavenLoft and it's Vampires can be dropped into any location and any time period of any DnD story.

Like SpellJammer, RavenLoft adds new races, classes, and items to the Dungeons and Dragons game.

SpellJammer and RavenLoft are both places IN Dungeons and Dragons. EVERYONE who knows anything about Dungeons and Dragons knows this. Knows that SpellJammer and RavenLoft are PLACES inside of the DnD world and are NOT separate games.

And yet, ThingChan made over a dozen 5hour long VODS, talking about "EelKat and that BDSM sex filled SpellJammer game she plays" and COMPARING it to Dungeons and Dragons. But, she did not know SpellJammer had Space elves or Tinker Gnomes or spaceships. There is nothing else in SpellJammer. And I'm left to wonder what did ThingyChan find that she THOUGHT was SpellJammer? She is 100% convinced that SpellJammer is nothing but BDSM, Erotica, sex, and dominatrix, but, SpellJammer is just a dock/port of spaceships full of Elf merchants that DMs can add to their game. 

Like the rest of Dungeons and Dragons, SpellJammer has ZERO sex, ZERO BDSM, ZERO Erotica, and ZERO dominatrixs.

Also, there is ZERO sex in ANY DnD game. Sorry, but the game is made for CHILDREN and, you trying to say a children's board game is filled with BDSM and sex, just goes to show what kind of a pervert you really are.

I'm left to wonder, did ThingyChan join some sex crazed game group that turned DnD games into sex fetish perversions and were NOT playing ACTUAL DnD but rather were playing homebrew fanfiction and CALLING it DnD?

And she got these weird sex ideas about SpellJammer into her head because of that? I don't know.

Me thinks she should buy herself a few ACTUAL TSR or WoTC published Dungeons and Dragons books/game guides and read them for herself.

These books are written for CHILDREN, to be able to live act playing games while dressed up as Elves, Dwarves, wizards, bards, and warriors. She's got bebes for brains if she thinks a game for children ages 7 to 15 is full of sex, Erotica, BDSM, and dominatrixes.

They built these sex, erotica, bdsm lies about me, because the series is sold in Japan as Yaoi.

Japan makes up 78% of my book sales. The Quaraun series isn't that popular in America, but it sells like hotcakes in Japan, Brazil, and Germany.

Yaoi is a story that features a gay couple as the main characters. Yaoi can be Romance. Yaoi can be Horror. Yaoi can be Fantasy. Yaoi can be Murder Mystery. Yaoi can be ANY genre. It simply means the main character of the story is a gay couple and the author is a cis female. 

Yaoi DOES NOT mean sex. 

Yaoi DOES NOT mean Erotica. 

Yaoi DOES NOT mean Hentai. 

And if you had read anything other than fanfiction, you'd have known that, and NOT jumped to the false conclusion that I wrote Erotica, simply because my main characters are gay.

I find it deplorable when gay men are fetishized in Yaoi Erotica. I hate how Gay Erotica objectifies gay men. I deliberately wrote the Quaraun series to AVOID fetishizing and objectifying gay men and show Quaraun as a man whose hurting, traumatized, suffering, over the death of someone he loved very much, and trying to come to terms with the suicide of his best friend.

I'm a minority myself, #1 I'm a Gypsy by race, 99% of the world has no clue what a Gypsy is. #2 I'm asexual. When was the last time you saw either a Gypsy or an asexual written accurately in fiction. Quaraun is both, he's Gypsy, he's asexual, and I wrote his as gay, because I'm straight, I only know how to be in love with a man, I can't write being in love with a woman, I've tried, it doesn't come out well.

I hate the entire Yaoi Erotica genre. And I hate even more that Kendra Silvermander and ThingyChan tried to tarnish my name and reputation by spreading the horrible Erotica sex lies about me and my books. They gathered up hateful followers, built bombs, hired hitmen, they arrived with "god hates fags" signs and accused me of being gay, accused me of being a trans m2f woman, and murdered my family. Normally I ignore trolls, but these aren't trolls. These are gay hating terrorists, who violently attacked my family because of fictional books I wrote. They both ought to be ashamed of themselves.

I'm a natural born straight cis female. I've had 7 miscarriages. M2F trans women can't do that you fucking idiots.

But even if I had been a m2f trans women or had been gay, so what? That's NOT a reason to harass someone, that's not a reason to trash their car, that's not a reason to blow up their house with a bomb, that's not a reason to murder their children, cut off their heads, and nail their heads to the door! What the fuck is wrong with you people? You did all that because you thought I was a gay m2f trans woman writing gay erotica. What the fuck?

I'm not gay.

I'm straight.

I'm not a man.

I'm a cis female.

I'm not m2f trans.

I'm a CosPlayer. Do you not know the difference? What the fuck?

You people trashed my car - 5 of them, including The GoldenEagle and The Dazzling Razzberry and No Hurry because you thought I was a gay m2f trans woman writing gay erotica. What the fuck?

You people blow up my house with a bomb because you thought I was a gay m2f trans woman writing gay erotica. What the fuck?

You people murdered my children, cut off their heads, and nail their heads to my front door because you thought I was a gay m2f trans woman writing gay erotica. What the fuck?

You did all of that and I'm not even gay, I'm not even m2f trans, and I don't even write Erotica.

I'm not gay, you trashed my cars for nothing!

I'm not m2f trans, you blew up my house for nothing!

I don't write Erotica, you murdered my family for nothing!

What is wrong with you people?

Is this how you treat EVERYONE you meet who is LGBTQAI+?

Is this what LGBTQAI+ people have to live with?

This is wrong.

Stuff like this shouldn't happen.

I had no idea that THIS was the type of harassment and terrorism that LGBTQAI+ people have to live with I am horrified by it.

I'm not LGBTQAI+, so I didn't know this was what they have to put up with. But you people mistook me, a straight cis female for being a gay m2f trans woman and you treated me, like how you treat ACTUAL gay m2f trans women and you have shown me what horrible people you all all. Your bigotry is deplorable. 

Take your retarded heads out of your asses and try actually reading something and using your brain for once.

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

Did you all forget that THIS is me? And THIS is where I live at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine?

You did, didn't you?

You forgot who I was. Where I live. How I live.

You got so caught up in spinning your sex lies, that you strayed very, very, very far from the truth. From the reality, of how I live.

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

The thing you got to remember, the thing people who came here looking for sex, bdsm, and Erotica seem to be overlooking, is you can't write about something you know nothing about. So HOW does anyone expect me to even attempt to write a sex scene at all, is beyond me. Like all authors, I write what I know.

I know murder of children, and I know that no one cares about murdered children. I know saw up children stuffed into trash bags and tossed in ravines, and and I know that no one cares about those sawed up children, that's why their murders to this day walk free. I know suicide and no one cares about the 39 suicides I have witnessed, their swept under a rug and ignored. I know what it feels like to be years old, and held down by 2 uncles while a 3rd smashed a glass bottle and uses it to carvings in your flesh. 

People often ask, why I write my characters sleeping on piles hay and fur, why do they never sleep in a bed. Because I don't know what sleeping in a bed feels like. I've never been allowed to sleep in a bed. 

I write what I know.

I know what it feels to live for years on end, being allowed to have only 1 salted herring to eat, once every 12 days.

I know what it's like to be so skinny, that I couldn't stand up, because I was so close to death from starvation.

I write so many scenes of characters locked in cages because more them 80% of my life was spent locked in a cage. I don't know how to write about what life outside of rusted wires must be like. I've not been outside of a cage long enough to know. Even now in 2021, I'm still only learned how to eat daily. I've not yet been able to train my body into being able to eat every day. 

I'm still learning how to talk. Right now in 2021. I was 42 years old when the surgery to reconstruct my jaw happened. That was only 3 years ago. I've only been able to talk the last 3 years. I've not yet even fully learned how to speak.

Did you forget that all my YouTube videos and Twitch streams from 2004 until 3 years ago were completely silent with no commentary because I was unable to talk?

I'm not yet able to sit in chair or at tables or sleep on a bed, these things are so foreign to me, I can't even comprehend them.

I write what I know. That's why so many mute characters. I can't even begin to imagine what it is like to have a vocal conversation with someone face to face, because in nearly 50 years that's not yet happened to me. I only know what conversations look like from seeing them in movies. I've never experienced what it is like to have someone talk to me. No one ever has. So I don't how to write people talking to each other, that's why I don't write it. That's why characters in my novels, like Quaraun are often silent.

Quaraun has very little dialogue. Almost none. Even before he went mute Quaraun was a largely silent character. He is very scared, very shy, very quiet, keeps to himself, bothers no one, speaks only when necessary and, rarely is it nessacarily. He sits back and takes quiet a lot of abuse, always turning the other cheek and hoping in vain that his abusers will just go away and leave him alone. But he becomes very deadly when he witnesses someone else being bullied. He knows the pain and suffering he feels and he can not bare to watch others suffer as he has, so he protects them, by killing their attackers.

I've been writing about these characters for almost 50 years now.

And most of the stories are nothing more than me retelling the abuse I have received at the hands of others, along with what I would like to do to them, were it legal to kill bullies, haters, abusers, and harassers.

The scene of a child, with her leg ripped off, her intestines pulled out and her breakfast spilling on the ground... I wrote that with such vivid detail because I write what I know and I write from experience.

I was 14 years old, a serial killer named Lisa Boluc did that too her, yes, the Cascade Road Bloducs who would kill 5 more people in Old Orchard Beach in 2010... they had PREVIOUSLY kidnapped me and 5 other children in 1991. One of those children was a 4 year old named Anastasia and that's what they did to her. Her brother Jon, who was 3 years old, they turned his around completely, to face behind him. That's how he died. 

What did all have in common? We were all not white and were were all "retarded mutes" so they thought they could get away with torturing us children to death.

6 of us were kidnapped. 3 of us were still alive when the police rescued us. By the end of the week, I was the only one still alive, the others died from their injuries.

I wrote that scene in the novels with such vivid accuracy because that scene happened in real life to my friend.

And if you didn't know that THAT is the type of thing adults like to do to "retarded" "mute" children, that you need a reality check.

You only want to write mute characters because you want to be hip and cool and add diversity to your story, but you have no clue the hell we who are mute live through at the hands of ignorant bastards like you.

I write the abuse and torture and suicide scenes of the Quaraun series with such vivid detail, because they are ALL real live events that I have witnessed first hand in my personal life.

I've personally known 39 people who have commit suicide. That's WHY I write suicides so well.

The hanging tree scene in the Quaraun novels, that left Quaraun castrated and resulted in him killing his attackers... did you know I have an older brother, Roland, whom no one in my family will talk about? #1 because he's gay, and #2 because he's doing life in prison, after he locked 68 high schoolers into the Old Orchard Beach High School and burnt it to the ground, after those same 68 high schoolers, on homecoming night, striped him naked, tied his feet to the back of a police car, and drove 14 miles to Rotary Park in Biddeford, tied him to the flag pole, hosted him to the top and left him there to freeze to death in the dead of winter in Maine. The police found him 3 days later, and he killed his attackers the following year.

Yeah.

My parents, my aunts, my uncles, and pretty much every one in Old Orchard Beach, Maine completely shuns him because he had the balls to fight back and murder his fucking attackers.

This is the reality of how gay boys are treated in Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine.

He was 15 years old when he was sentenced to life n prison, without a fair trail, because the part about the 14 Old Orchard Beach police officers, their sons, and their son's friends, dragging him behind a police car a to Rotary Park and handing him by his testicles from a flag pole... was not entered into evidence, by the VERY police officers who did it to him

Yes.

Old Orchard Beach police officers did that to a 14 year old boy, and the CHILD that they tortured got life in prison, and those bastard Old Orchard Beach Police officers not only still walk free they are still active duty police officers right now in 2021.

I have an older brothers who has now been in prison going on 60 years, because police officers stripped him naked when he was 14 years old, tied his feet to the back of an Old Orchard Beach police car, a rather famous Old Orchard Beach Police car - a 1964 Dodge 330 - named Christine - yes, I bought that car, I still own it - and they drove all the way to Biddeford's Rotary Park. He was nearly dead by the time they huge him from the flagpole.

The World's Most Haunted Car the one my neighbour Stephen King made famous because he can't stop writing books and movies about it.

The reality is the car is not haunted. Police officers of Old Orchard Beach, just want to everyone to think it's haunted, because they made active attempt to destroy every last piece of evidence for what they did to my brother. And they NEEDED to destroy the police car they tied him to and dragged him from, but they couldn't because I bought it.

Stephen King was their worst nightmare, because he made the car famous by writing about it. And than he made ME famous by writing about me. I'm the real world Gypsy Witch, that he based his fictional Thinner Gypsy Witch off of, and then he filmed Thinner on my land.

And life for me has been a nightmare ever since, because those officers live in terror that someone will find evidence of what they did. That someone will find my brother and talk to him and finally get his side of the story.

They put him in a prison outside of Maine, and they REFUSE to tell me where he is, so I've never once been able to visit him.

That is how horrible police officer in our town are. 

That's how far they would go to cover up what they did.

And that why they attacked so viciously when The Hanging Tree was published... it was published March 31, 2015, they attacked and killed my family April 10, 2015, a little over a week later.

The same 14 police officers.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

He almost died, and those police officers have NEVER been held accountable for what they did.

How many police officers were in my driveway April 10, 2015?

How many police officer beat my children and murdered them? April 10, 2015?

14.

The EXACT SAME 14 police officers who did that to my older brother.

They didn't get held account able for what they did to my brother 60 years ago, and they have not been held accountable for what they did to my children 6 years ago.

Welcome to law enforcement in Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

How many people know the Old Orchard Beach High School burnt down?

Not many.

They rebuilt it fast and it wasn't in the news.

Of those people who knew it happened, how many of you knew it was my older brother who did it?

Of those who knew he did it, how many knew, he was the boy - the gay boy, a 14 year old child, who arrived at homecoming wearing pink... and was was beaten and nearly by Old Orchard Beach police officers because he wore pink?

He acted in self defence against murderous minded gay hating police, and the police doctored evidence, and he's been in prison, 60 years now, for nothing, other than being gay?

This is wrong.

And you know it's wrong.

Those police officers are the ones who should be in prison.

My children would still be alive if those officers had been handed justice in the 1960s.

The exact same police officers.

THAT is the REAL reason people in Old Orchard Beach hate that car. They know what happened. They know why I keep that car. To remind them, that it's not forgotten, what they did, to my older brother.

That's why they made up lies about the car being haunted.

It's not haunted it never was, just like I've been saying all along.

The only people who want you to think that car is haunted are the people who used that car to destroy the life of a gay child.

They want you to believe the car is haunted, so you'll forget what they did with it.

This is the reality of how mute Autistics like myself are treated in Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford Maine.

My fans, my readers, most of them hail, The Hanging Tree scenes as the most well written scene they've ever read. The scene where Quaraun receives his castration injury, the scene when his town turns on him for being gay... I wrote that scene with such vivid accuracy because that scene happened in real life to my brother.

I write what I know.

And the thing I know better than anything else is abuse, harassment, bullying, torture, beatings, pain, suffering, suicide, and not being able to cry out for help because I was mute.

THIS is why I write the violent bloody scenes I write, because I write what I know, and I've never known what it was like to be shown kindness, to be treated with respect, to have a friend, to be loved. I know what it feels like to be hit in the face with a brick. I know wat it's like to be 8 years old, locked in a raccoon trap cage outside in a blizzard, for 12 days without food or water, because adults thought it was funny to do things like that.

This is also WHY I can't write sex scenes, but I excel at writing rape scenes. I was raped over 500 times by the time I was 12 years old. I have NEVER had sex willingly EVER, not once in my entire life. I don't know how to write sex as a good or pleasurable thing. I ONLY know how to write being dragged and beaten stabbed with forks and broken glass, while being kicked in the stomach, to ensure any baby made doesn't live. That is my ONLY experience with sex. 500 times by the time I was 12 years old.

I've had 7 miscarriages. All before I was 16. And none were actual miscarriages, that just what the adults called it. They put me in the shower stall, turned the hot water on so it scalded my skin causing it to blister and boil, while they kicked me in the stomach until I passed out. I woke up in pool of blood and dead baby tissue. 

That's not a miscarriage, that's fucking murder. They murdered all 7 of my unborn babies.

THIS is the reality of being a mute child.

THIS is the things adults think they can get away with, because the child doesn't scream, so no one hears their cries and knows they are being tortured.

My uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater was a monster. He is the one who did those things. Him and his brother Richard Merlin and David.

They were deplorable men who thought they could get away with child abuse, because they KNEW no one cares about a mute child.

And than you have people like Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan running around with all their sex rumors and gossip and lies about me and my books.

I write what I know. How do you expect me to write about sex?

Do you want to know, what I know about sex?

I know that while you have sex, you stab children with metal forks.

I know that while you have sex, you cut children with broken glass.

I know that while you have sex, if the child screams for help, you smash their face in with a brick.

I know that you pay $12,000 to have sex with children , 5, 6, 7, 8 years old, and that there are not hundreds, but THOUSANDS of men in Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, and Scarborough Maine who pay that much, and having been one of those children - I recognize your face when I see you in the store, at Saco Shaw's, Biddeford, WalMart ...

I see you with your families, your wives, your children...

Do they know, what you did to me and my cousins?

Do they know how many children you paid to beat to death while having sex with them?

There's one man in Old Orchard Beach, you ALL know him. He's the ring leader. My uncle's didn't keep the money you paid them. No. They only kept 10%. They only kept $1,200 of your $12k. The rest went to the nan who is doing his best to run around town decimating every now adult child he helped you to rape.

You know we children did not forget your faces, right?

We recognize you wen we see you in the store with your families.

What would you do, if we, those little girls you liked to rape in the 1960s, 1970s, 180s, in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, we who are now adults, and know who you are, what would you do, if we told your wives, your daughters, what you did to us?

We have no forgotten you. 

We know your faces.

Not all of us are buried in the Reclaim Blueberry Plains.

You didn't think about that did you?

I know that since the 1950s, "deer steaks" have been sold off the backs of pickup trucks through out York Country, and I know the steak ain't deer. I know that right now in 2021, Maine has an outbreak of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. An outbreak that started in 2015. A disease that is caused by eating the human brain of someone who also eat a human brain.

I know that you only have sex, with children who have no paperwork, not born in hospitals, no birth certificates, no social security numbers, never went to school, never went to doctors, because these children do not matter, these children can be killed, because even if anyone does find the bodies, no paper trail, no identity, no way to trace them back to the adults ... so say the adults of Old Orchard Beach, Maine who buy and sell children on the orders of a very evil man. Some were caught and arrested, in 2016, Smithwheel Rd.

But did you know that children trapped in 37 Smithwheel Rd, yes, I know the address number and apartment locations where never released to the public, but I was one of those children, so I know the address, I know information the police withheld, like the fact that some of their best customers WERE Old Orchard Beach police officers and we children, reported it to police officers in 1987, but they did nothing. It wasn't until the FBI arrived in 2016, that any one did anything. The Old Orchard beach Police care nothing about children, not when they rape them, beat them, murder them, and dump their bodies in the fucking GooseFare Brooke Ravine in the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, in the Ross Forest, of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

I know that sex, is something you ONLY do to children, and ONLY if they are under 10 years old.

I know that when you get done with sex,  you kick the child in the stomach, until their intestines squirt out their ass, than you cut off their head, and toss it into Canton Lake in Canton, Maine.

I know that when you get done with sex, you saw up the child, stuff their sawed up body in a black plastic trash bag, and you take that bag to the GooseFare Brooke Ravine in the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, in the Ross Forest, of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, and stuff that bag in the trunk of a car, and you push that car into the ravine, and you set fire to that car at the bottom of the ravine.

There are 4 such cars, and more then 200 sawed up children, GooseFare Brooke Ravine in the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, in the Ross Forest, of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. To date, only 1 car and only 31 bodies have been found. They were found June 9, 2016.

THAT is what I know about sex.


And know this:

I was sexually abused, sexually harassedsexually humiliated, sexually tortured, and raped... and because of that:

I HATE

SEX!

And anyone who connects my name to sex:

WANT

THEM 

DEAD!



And THAT is why I write the Quaraun books the way I do... with Quaraun sexually abused, sexually harassed, sexually humiliated, sexually tortured, and raped... and you seeing Quaraun's mental anguish over it and than you see him murder his attackers, his harassers, his bullies... I write Quaraun doing to his bullies, what the law won't let me to to mine, but what I very much would like to do to them.


The ONLY good person involved in sex, is a dead person, because if you like murdering children, than you don't deserve to live.

No sane person would do sex to any one they cared about.

Sex is the most evil thing you can do to a person. To kill a child is wrong and I find it deplorable that you came here looking for that!

If it was legal to kill people, I would kill every last person on this planet who ever had sex.

Yes, I DO hate sex that much.

And all of you people who like doing stuff like that to children, I hate all of you to.

If you call me an Erotica author, know that I DO want YOU DEAD!

If you make sex jokes about me, know that I DO want YOU DEAD!

If you make sex memes about me, know that I DO want YOU DEAD!

There is NOTHING that will make me hate you faster, than if you connect my name to sex.

If you connect my name to sex on any level at all, know that I DO want YOU DEAD!

And if you've ever had sex: I HATE you, and I DO want YOU DEAD!

Sex is the most horrible, most evil thing you can do to a person, and everyone who's done should die. They don't deserve to live.

I hate sex, because hate child abusers.

From the time I was 8 years old, until I was recued in and FBI raid when I was 31 years old, I spent my life in a cage, unable to speak because of a broken jaw, raped by any Mormon Priest who had enough money. Unlike so many of the others, they couldn't kill me because I had a paper trail. I had a birth certificate and a social security number, though I was unaware of this, I was 42 years old first time I had heard of either. And that was because a sheriff had showed up with a court order because I supposedly had 27 credit cards each overdrawn to $200k each, I've never been to school, I don't know math, I can't count, I can do money, I've never even seen a credit card,  and I supposedly had 4 house foreclosures, and 12 car repossessions ... except, I've never owned a house, I own that has no house on it, just the tent-tarp-thing that I sleep under. And my cars, I still have, and I paid cash for every one. Turns out all those credit cards, houses, and cars were my aunt Barbara, Mervin Bruce Atwater's sister, who is the one who had my SSN, which I didn't know I had a SSN until that point. More then 400 of my cousins have since ALSO discovered dozens of credit cards, house foreclosures, and car repossessions on their credit reports as well. Turns out, the reason why a FEW of the children have SSNs is so the adults of the Atwater Clan can use the SSNs to get credit cards by the thousands, and houses all over the country, including some in Australia. 

So, while Mervin Bruce Atwater was beating, raping, selling, abusing children, his sister was applying for SSN for a few of them, to live off credit card fraud.

Most Gypsies are good, normal, regular people. But stereotypes about Gypsies being tramps and thieves are often true, and The Atwater Clan is one of the Gypsy Clans, that IS exactly like the stereotype and makes all other Gypsies look bad.

That is what life with my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater was like.

No sane person mourns him.

And everyone who knew that child abusing sex crazed bastard rejoices that COVID-19 did what police refused to do and finally took him away so that those of us who were his prisoners can finally have freedom for the first time in our lives.

The ONLY people who mourn Mervin Bruce Atwater, are the abusers who abused children along side him.

THAT is what I know about sex.

And you expect me to write sex?

Why?

Tell me WHY?

Why would any sane person write something so horrible?

And than you have people like Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan running around with all their sex rumors and gossip and lies about me and my books.

I write what I know. How do you expect me to write about sex?

What kind of people must Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan be that they obsess over sex so much? I can't even begin to imagine how many children's lives they have destroyed. You can't talk about sex, BDSM, and Erotica as much as they do, and not enjoy sex. I fear they may be worse child abusers than my uncles. Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan are truly terrifying. They scare me far more than Mervin Bruce and his crew.

How can such horrible people exist?

I do not understand.

But we have seen, how horrible they are.



Look at what they've done.

By their fruits ye shall know them. Out of evil, come forth evil acts.


They blew up my house with a bomb.


They drove a back hoe over my next house.


They crippled me with golf clubs.


They murdered my children and nailed their heads to my door.


Than they crippled me again with a shopping cart.


Why?


Why did they do these things?



I do not understand.

They act like they think they know me, but I don't know who they are.

And Kendra Silvermander, when she shows up, screaming and yelling, she says it is because she is getting back at me bullying her in school, but I never went to school. My entire childhood was spent locked in a cage only let out to be taken to church on Sunday to show me off to the Mormon Priests who would arrive during the week to rape me.

I don't even know what school might be like. I've never seen the inside of a school. I don't even know what a school is.

And even if I had been allowed to go to school, Kendra Silvermander is in her late 60s early 70s... I'm in my 40s. She's almost 30 years only than me. She's old enough to be my grandmother. It's not even plausible for her to even think that she knew me in school with an age difference like that!

Kendra Silvermander clearly has me mixed up with someone else.

But that doesn't change the fact that my children are dead, a bomb blew up my house, a back hoe drove over my next house, I'm STILL homeless now in 2021, and now I'm crippled for the rest of my life, because Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan have sex on the brain, run around telling sex lies about me, all because this Kendra woman is mad at someone from school, and thought it was me, even though Kendra in my Uncle Mervin Bruce and Aunt Baraba's age, 30 years older than me. And given what my aunt Barb is like and the fact that she DID go to school and the fact that she DOES look like my twin, and she IS Kendra's age, it's starting to look like this Kendra woman intended to attack my Aunt Barbie Jean and somehow mixed us up.

But all you people who believed Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan's sex lies about me and my books... look around... does this LOOK like an adult site full of Porn and Erotica? You can see for yourself that it is not. 

They lied to you. 

Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan lied to you.

Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan lied to you about me.

Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan lied to you about my books.

There is no sex here.

There is no Erotica here.

There is no BDSM here.

There are no dominatrixes here.

Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan are evil people who do evil things, spreading evil lies, and all you have to do is open your eyes to see the truth.

I have nothing to hide.

The reporters and paparazzi that spread everything about my life all over the news have made certain that my life is an open book, my home address is out their for every one to see, hell enough tens of thousands of you have trampled my farm to and seen it for yourself after reporters put my home address on the news, without my permission.

My life is an open book.

I've never had privacy. Not once in my life. You've ALL made sure of that.

I ask the same thing I always ask of any of you:

Leave me alone.

I ask again and again and again.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

I'm not bothering you, why are you bothering me?

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

But I know it is pointless to ask that of any of you.

Because I am the feral child, the child you feel the need to study like a bug under a microscope, the child you feel the need to spread rumors and lies about.

I am EelKat, Etiole's friend... and if you know Etiole, know this, he WILL put an end to your harm. Look around. 53 people who were involved in April 10, 2015, are already dead.

Don't bother me and Etiole won't bother you. But do unto me, good or bad, and Etiole WILL do exactly the same unto you.

Don't believe me... take a drive to Old Orchard Beach... the Ross Road. Go to the Reclaim Blueberry Plains.

Tell me what you see?

Right now in 2021.

The location of the novel: The Night of Screaming Unicorn. Where lived in the novels a gay couple.

The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall was infuriated by this. The very thought of a gay couple in Old Orchard Beach. So began the Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach Court case... the town tried to run every last gay couple out of town, because they couldn't stand the thought that a FICTIONAL ELF gay couple had set foot in their fictional Reclaim Blueberry Plains.

Who here remembers what I said in court, to Old Orchard Beach Town Hall's gay hating bigots?

I said this: "Within 7 years the Reclaim Blueberry Plains will be gone, and REAL gay couples, will live where they once stood. So let in be written, so let it be done."

And now it is.

And oh my, look at all those sawed up bones of children being dug out of the ground as gay families stop construction of their new homes so the FBI can catalogue all the dead bodies of children raped by straight Mormon priests of York County, Maine.

All those GOOD straight men, who hate those EVIL gay men.

Tell me this: How many gay men in Maine are burying raped dead children in the Blueberry Plains of Old Orchard Beach?

None.

Not one.

But how many straight men took part in the burying of more than 200 sawed up raped children, right now being dug up at the construction site of the Reclaim Blueberry Plains in Old Orchard Beach, Maine?

It's it's on the news, no, but, it's going on right now, and will continue throughout the entire summer of 2021, so just drive to the Ross Road and have a look for yourself. You can see it from the road, heck, they' you can walk up in on the hiking trail and watch the bones falling out of the back how shovel up close for yourself.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach, the family friendly town, family friendly by not allowing gay people, but always allowing straight men to rape and murder children, because that's a big business in Old Orchard Beach, isn't it?

You buried your sins under the blueberry plains, will your sins have now found you out.

How many of you are going to step forward and raise your hand? "It was me! I raped those little girls. But I'm innocent because I'm straight. It's okay because I'm not gay. It's okay because they were just gypsies, they weren't white. It's okay because they were just children. It's okay because they were just females. Yay for straight white males. We can do anything by virtue of being white men! Yay for our white penises!"

Better hope they don't find your straight white DNA on them there sawed up bones of little girls now, eh?

Old Orchard Beach, the Family Friendly Community, Family Friendly by virtue of not allowing gay families to live there. 

Well we squashed that law didn't we? 

As of October 21, 2016, it is now legal for gay couples to own property in Old Orchard Beach. And look around you. They now do.

Old Orchard Beach is not family friendly until ALL families are welcomed there and gay families ARE families wither you bigots like it or not.

And me writing a gay couple in my novels, is NOT me writing Erotica.

Gay people are REAL people, just like you. They are not fictional sex objects you can fetishism.

We authors can write gay couples without making them sex symbols and Erotica buffoonery. 

And every one of you who came here thinking gay couples in novels = sex, BDSM, and Erotica, you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Sex crazed perverts like you are why bastards like my uncles can make a big business out of selling sex with children. And you bastards who buy sex with children, you're worst then the men who sell those children. 

My uncles didn't care what they had to do to make money. Whatever the Americans wanted to pay for, THAT is what my uncles were going to do. And what did the Americans of Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, and Scarborough, Maine want? Sex with children.

So my uncles gave them what they asked for. If there had not been big demand for sex with children here in York County, Maine, my uncles never would have been able to do what they did to me and my cousins.

Every single person in Old Orchard, Saco, and Biddeford, you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. 

So many people knew what what happening and turned a blind eye to it. You didn't care what happened to us. You by doing nothing, you are just as evil as the people who hurt us, because you LET it happen.

And the worst ones of all are the ones like Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan who think it's fun and funny to make jokes about what happened to us. You are horrible, vile, evil people.



   *   You simps of Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan you put a bomb in my house because Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan FALSELY CLAIMED I was: gay, trans, dominatrix, into BDSM, and wrote Erotica. And yet, I am/do NONE of those things!


   *   You simps of Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan you drove a back hoe over my next house because Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan FALSELY CLAIMED I was: gay, trans, dominatrix, into BDSM, and wrote Erotica. And yet, I am/do NONE of those things!


   *   You simps of Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan you trashed my cars - 5 of them - because Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan FALSELY CLAIMED I was: gay, trans, dominatrix, into BDSM, and wrote Erotica. And yet, I am/do NONE of those things!


   *   You simps of Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan you MURDERED my children and nailed their heads to my door because Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan FALSELY CLAIMED I was: gay, trans, dominatrix, into BDSM, and wrote Erotica. And yet, I am/do NONE of those things!


What the fuck?

What is wrong with you people?

Did you think you could get away with it because you were white and we are not?

Did you think it was okay because we were JUST GYPSIES, so who the fuck cares about our non-white asses?

Did you think it was okay, because this is Maine, the most lawless state in America, and you think you can get away with anything because you know the rest of the country doesn't give a sit what happens here in Maine?

Did you think you could get away with it, because you thought "Oh she's mute, she's never going to tell anyone, she can't talk"? But you forgot I could type, didn't you? And forgot I have a have a website that get's 7 million views a day, and I can tell EVERYONE outside of Maine, what you did.

You can't hide your sins forever.

And you'll NEVER hide them from god. Have fun in the afterlife trying to get into Heaven. You can't bride God the same way you can bribe police officers now can you? You have an eternity in hell to look forward to.

Is THIS what it means to be Human?

Is THIS what it means to be white?

Is THIS what it means to be an American?

Or is THIS just what it means to be a Mainer?

When you know the TRUTH behind the sex lies that Kendra Silvermander and Claudia ThingyChan spread about me, than you understand, why I hate them and their simps so much.

They glorify and glamourize the torture I lived through.

And they may be ha-ha laughing at their jokes about rape, but I'm not laughing, and I hope they get raped so that they will know what I've been though and they never make jokes about rape again.

April 10, 2015 will not be forgotten, and I'll make sure entire world knows what you did.

I put a curse on everyone of you who ever made fun of the suffering of others, that you may feel their pain and never laugh at them again.

And now you go back to whomever it is who sent you here looking for sex and you tell them to burn in hell where they belong!

Remember folks: 


   *   YOU thinking about sex while I talk, DOES NOT mean that I was talking about sex.


   *   YOU fantasizing about sex while you read, DOES NOT mean that I wrote a sex scene.


   *   YOU sexualizing things and jerking off to them, is NOT me writing titillation for you.


    *   YOU thinking about sex while reading a book I wrote, does NOT mean the book is Erotica, it just means that YOU are a fucking pervert capable of sexualizing anything and everything.


AND:


    *   YOU THINKING ABOUT SEX WHILE YOU READ A BOOK THAT I WROTE IS NOT AN EXCUSE YOU CAN USE TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERING MY FAMILY!

Where can I read your work online?

You can't.

I'm an author, I publish books.

If you want to read them, you get off your ass, drive to a book store, buy the book, a physical book, cardboard covers with paper pages in between, with ISBNs and copyright pages and formatting and proofing, you know, ACTUAL books.

None of my fiction works are posted online any where.

Some "sample chapters" of UNEDITED FIRST DRAFTS of the Quaraun series can be read here on this website, but they are not the FINISHED product as it appears in printed published editions. These UNEDITED sample chapters were posted here on my website as part of a series of articles I made showing what my editing process looks like. The before and after of the Quaraun series.

The chapters online here, show you the "vomit draft" of what exactly it looks like straight out of my head with no edits made to it. You can than open up the published paperback and look at that same chapter, as it appears after being edited, and compare what changes were made. The intent was to provide samples of the BEFORE publication product so you could compare it to the AFTER publication paperback book, and see the difference, so you could see what exactly gets edited out, what gets added, how the spelling and grammar change. Etc.

The reason I di this was because so many new/young writers get confused over what they should edit in their drafts, and often ask published authors (myself included): "What did you edit?" But most people give then general answers like: "I polished the grammar" and leave it at that, which really doesn't tell them anything or answer their question at all. So, when I answer that same question here, I went and uploaded around 100 or so sample chapters, from around 50 of the Quaraun novels, to show new writers, here's what my actual first drafts look like, vs what you see in the finished product, now you can examine the 2 and see EXACTLY how I edit. The whole thing was to help them see what kinds of things they should be editing in their own drafts.

So while you CAN read some sample chapters of Quaraun stories here on my website, do be aware that they are the UNFISHIED-UNEDITED first draft samples, they contain deleted scenes that did not appear in the finished product, the finish product often has more scenes added that were not in the first draft, they are full of plot holes, story flaws, spelling/grammar/punctuation mistakes, typos... all to show, THIS is what my first drafts look like. The online sample chapters not the EDITED-FINISHED chapter as it appeared in the published novels, so do be aware of that when reading them.


Outside of fiction works...

Everything I write online, can found right here on this website. And I do mean everything:

If I ever commented on a YouTube video - a copy of that comment can be found somewhere here on this website.

If I commented in your Twitch chat, the entire conversation, I was chatting in, is here on this website.

If you ever talked about me in your VODs on Twitch, copies of your VOD are uploaded here on my website, so my followers can see exactly what you had to say about me.

Every post I've ever put on Twitter, FaceBook, MySpace, or Tumblr, is also posted here on this website.

If I ever answered a question you asked on Reddit/Quora/Yahoo Answers/Absolute Write/KBoards, or any place else, my answer is cross posted here to this website.

Every word I have ever typed any where on the internet, all the way back to 1996, is cross posted to this website, so this website you are on right now, acts as a massive data base to absolutely every word I have ever said on the internet.


Are the Quaraun books on Amazon Kindle? 

No. There are only a few on Amazon. Five, I think?

Let me repeat this: I'm an author, I publish books.

A Kindle is not a book. It's an electronic device.

Grammar. Please learn it.

The question:

Are the Quaraun books on Amazon Kindle? 

... is illogical and make no sense. 

There are NO books on Kindle.

There are stories on Kindle.

There are novels on Kindle.

There are novellas on Kindle.

There are short stories on Kindle.

But there are no books on Kindle.

A novel is a type of story, it comes in many formats. 

One of those formats is Kindle. Another of those formats is books.

If it is not made out of paper, with pages you can flip through, printed in ink, it's NOT a book.

Learn to use words properly.

The correct and proper question you should have asked is this:

Are the Quaraun novels on Amazon Kindle? 

or

Are the Quaraun short stories on Amazon Kindle? 

No. The Quaraun series spans 2,000 short stories, 30 novellas, and 138 novels. There are only a few on Amazon. Five, I think? They are the most popular stories of the series and were uploaded on the 35th anniversary of the series.

Do keep in mind the Quaraun books were published MOSTLY between 1978 and 1987 and a few more between 1996 and 2006. And it's now 43 years later and MOST of the series is out of print.

The process to convert old books published back in the 1970s to 1990 to Kindle format is not easy or quick. It takes months to do just one book.

So, large portions of the series may never become available on Kindle, just because the process is rather lengthy and there are so many Quaraun books requiring converting.

If you want to read them, you get off your ass, drive to a book store, buy the book, a physical book, cardboard covers with paper pages in between, with ISBNs and copyright pages and formatting and proofing, you know, ACTUAL books.

You'd have to live local to me to buy the bulk of the series.

I have them printed up by local copy shops, yes, as ACTUAL books, made out of paper and printed with ink and everything. Yes, I know it sooo dreadfully difficult for you young people to wrap your minds around the existence of things like paper and pages and oh look page numbers.

I HATE ebooks, so, not much of my stuff has eBook editions. And I'm also sick of brain dead people with comments like: "What do mean ___ happens on page ___? There's no numbers in books. Books don't have pages!" Yes, not only is that an actual comment I got, but I've gotten variations of that same comment from more than 100 different people, who supposedly read the Witcher novels and couldn't find Avallac'h on page 179, because they only knew what ebooks and audio books were. In each case I asked "Didn't you have textbooks in school?" And they all replied with "No, school gave us laptops, everything was on that. Our school don't use books." Lovely. Children are graduating from high school with so little education, they don't what books, pages, or page numbers are. 

Sorry, but, if you are too lazy to drive to a book store and buy actual books, you're probably NOT part of my target audience.

And if you are too young to drive, well Honey, you be way too young to read the Quaraun series. Law requires you to be 21 or older to even buy them if you live in Japan or Australia where books are regulated by age ratings like movies are in America.

But no, most are not on Amazon.

They are ACTUAL physical books, sold at local book stores, and sold from booths at carnivals, festivals, book signings, and conventions.

I'm not interested in readers who read ebooks, and are too illiterate to even know what a page number is, so, I've not put much effort into converting the Quaraun series into eBook editions.

The Quaraun series is very limited run prints, of ACTUAL books, printed on ACTUAL paper, with ACTUAL page numbers, so, there are no ebooks and no audio books, and as I'm also not interested in catering to the mainstream public, there are no mass market editions either.

If a particular volume gets enough requests for an eBook edition I put it up, but otherwise, I'm more interested in getting paperback copies into the hands of people who I know actually WANT my books.


Readers' Imaginations Seeing Things I Didn't Write In Twighlight Manor & Quaraun #AuthorTube

Readers' Imaginations Seeing Things I Didn't Write In Twighlight Manor & Quaraun #AuthorTube



These videos are made by the Gypsy family known as "Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies". Stephen King used this family, their farm, and their cars in several of his movies, including Rose Red, Chinga, Christine, The Thinner, and Maximum Overdrive. Info about the Gypsies themselves can be found here: https://www.eelkat.com/meet-the-scottish-travellers.html

The article with full Info on the hauntings, the truth of their car vs the rumors, and how it went on to become the basis for Stephen King's Christine, Trucks, and Maximum Overdrive is here: https://www.eelkat.com/GoldenEagle.html 

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