You have encountered an extremely old website that continues to exist in old web ways, the same way it has done for now three decades.
In spite of being now 30 years old this year, started in 1996, it is still heavily active and old pages updated daily, new pages added daily, still now in 2026. All hand written, all hand coded (no AI), all by me, same as it ever was.
We Still Exist: The Old Web Did Not Go Away, You Just Forgot How To Find Us
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This site was NOT designed for mobile devices (as they had not been invented yet when I created it) thus this site looks best on a computer, at 1280x768 or above. |
This is a very old website created in 1996, so, yes, javascript is needed for the site to work as it should. If things don't function, you may need to update javascript drivers on your device |
This site tries to be mobile friendly but it's been online since 1996, so old pages may not load right on mobile devices, and as this site has had pages added near daily for 30 years there are now over 20k pages here. |
Having started out in life as a GeoCities site, this site contains glitter, bright colours, blinkies, moving gifs, and other things the old web was known for. |
f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:
...and after that video, you want these ones:
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If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
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The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:
If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Do you know who this woman is?
On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.
She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.
Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.
The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club. |
The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
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If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?
Video explains what else she's done ...
If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
Is there still a market for Kindle serials? from writing
Your question suggests you have no clue what a serial is, also do not know enough about books (or even movies?) in general to even know what a trilogy is, and, don't know the Fantasy genre well enough to know that 800 page books are pretty standard.
You don't know enough about writing to know to list your work by word count instead of page count, and...
I'm just sitting here wondering... have you ever even read a book before making an attempt to write one?
The bulk of your questions are simple common knowledge things that some one who reads books on a regular basis just knows without having to ask, thus why I ask if you've ever read a book before, because it sounds like you haven't.

You asked specifically about serieals and then explained what it is you called a serial.
I can only hope you are a kid, still in school, not yet in 5th grade, and have not yet been taught in English class the basis of what books are, what there table of contents are, how to alphabetize words, and other very simple, very basis things, that are taught in 5th grade Grammar.
If not...
It tells me either you did not pay attention in class, or you had a pretty shitty curriculum in your school that thought the basics of the publishing industry no longer needed to be taught in school.
Do keep in mind that it's against Kindle ToS to publish "one chapter at a time" type serials. They WILL delete your books, your account, and block your ISPN so you can't create a new account. Amazon rules state that each volume must be a full story with a complete beginning, middle, and end.
LOTS of "serial authors" had their accounts deleted because they were dividing up a big novel and publishing it "one chapter at a time" and calling it a "serial" (which legally that's not what a serial is... a serial has to be registered with the USA government and be assigned a serial number, and must be released at minimum of a rate of 36 issues per year for 3 years in a row... in other words a magazine, a comic boom, or a newspaper.) A lot of people toss the word serial around not knowing what the word even means, which causes a lot of confusion for people who don't know the actual terminology used in the publishing industry.
That's a bit besides the point though...
Back on topic...
Over on the KDP forums, I think posted in 2015-ish, if you search around, you can find a post, where an author asked why their account got deleted, asking what was wrong with publishing a novel as a serial, one chapter at a time...
and an actual Amazon customer service employee, answered back to say:
"How often do you go to the library and take out novels, one chapter at a time?"
It was a quick, simple, answer, that really was to the point.
>>>I know that Hugh Howey made a slash by publishing the Wool series as a serial on Kindle / eBook, eventually leading to physical publication.
Hugh Howey, also is a short story writer, not a novelist. He wrote set/series of short stories set in the same universe. But try putting them together, they do not make a novel. That's quite a bit different then one long story cut into small pieces.
Please tell me you read more then short stories before writing a 800 page novel.
Novels have a specific style that is completely different from short stories.
>>Is there still a market for stuff like this?
A market for what?
Your writing comprehension is terrible. You are not being clear.
What the hell are you asking?
Still a market for what?"
Short stories like Hugh Howey wrote?
There's always a market for short stories.
Science Fiction short stories, which is what Hugh Howey wrote, and still writes, has been a huge market since the 1920s.
Science Fiction novels, not so much. You want to write Sci-Fi like Hugh howey does, short stories are the way to go.
But what the hell does Hugh Howey's series of 5,000 series of Science Fiction short stories, have to do with your 800 page Fantasy novel?
It's apples and oranges. How can you even compare the 2?
Is there are market for Fantasy short stories? A little. Not much. Most people who read Fantasy, read 300,000 word novels and aren't looking for something they can read in under an hour. Your 800 page Fantasy novel is certainly standard to it's genre and in demand, so I'm not quite sure why you want to chop it up in the first place.
But serials?
You do realize there is no such thing as a NOT print serial, right?
You have to file for a serial number from the United States Post Office, so that the US governmet can track how many serials there are,to know how many they are expected to deliver.
They also need to know if it's a daily serial like the daily newspaper, or a weekly serial, like the Sunday newspaper, or a monthly serial, like a magazine or comic book.
Harlequin novels are serials, because you pay for a subscription and you receive 1 new novel each week in the mail, currently they ship 4 to a time in one box, once per month.
You will notice in the upper corner of every Harlequin book, the series name and government issues series number, along with what volume of the series the book is.
You see this same government assigned number on every magazine and newspaper and comic book as well.
So, let's look at your question again, and ask this... how many millions of copies of each chapter of your book, do you plan to print up each week and mail out to your subscribers? The form you fill out to get assigned a serieal number asks yu that. They need to know how much of a burdan your serial is going to be on the mail delivery, so they can plan changes in the mail schedual to accomidate your many tens of thousands of issues being delivered to your subscribers. They also want to know how many weeks or years you plan to be continuing this serial. They will not assign a serial number to any publication that has fewer then 36 issues and will be delivered for fewer then 3 years, because the minimum requirement to be classified as a serieal is 36 issues or 3 years off subsricer delivers, which ever is lowest.
Is your 800 page book long enough to be divided into at minimum 36 issues and do you have enough print subscribers to mail it out to to warrant requesting a serial number be assigned to it? If not, you have written a serial.
>>I only ask because my current novel (an 800 page fantasy behemoth) would almost never get published, since I'm a 24-year-old first time author.
You are 24 years old.
Pity.
I was hoping you were 14 and had not yet been taught the basics of the book and magazine publishing industry standards which are basic things taught to every 5th grader in English Grammars classes, the same year you would also have been taught secretarial typing and Latin as well.
Either you didn't pay attention in class, or your school's curriculum was seriously lacking.
Let's move past that...
Why do you think your novel would never get published?
Have you even tried to get it published?
Are you that much of a defeatists that you don't even think it worth trying?
Your age has nothing to do with it. I published my first novel when I was 12. No publisher asks how old you are. They don't care. The only time your age gets brought up is every April when the IRS asks you to file your taxes.
And what is the deal with all these writers on Reddit doing this boo-hoo pity party of "oh poor me I'm a first time author, I'll never get published"...?
Not with that attitude. You know why? Because you are so damned convinced youve already failed, that you aren't even gonna try!
I happen to know Hugh Howey. We wrote a book together. You know that right?
Ever seen this book on my site. --->
There it is.
Oh for crying out loud, back when we did that book no one knew who Hugh Howey was. I was a struggling no body, trying to get his short stories out there.
Everybody was a first time author.
Everybody started out unpublished.
Hugh Howey wasn't born pre-published. Once upon a time, not that long ago, he was struggling to find a publisher.
The differance between him and you, is, he believed in himself and his work ad put it out there. He didn't run around going : "Oh boo-hoo-hoo, woe is me, I'm too young, I'm not published, boo-hoo-hoo."
No. You know what he did? He got off his ass and he got his work out there.
He was too busy promoting his book to have time sitting around feeling sorry for himself.
>>Chopping it into three "episodes" and releasing it on kindle seems like an appealing idea, since it's the only way the story will ever see the light of day.
As others have said on this thread... I would think your best bet is to divide your 800 page novel, into 3, then polish the beginnings and endings of each to make it into 3 separate, but continuing novels.
If it was me... I'd go the 3 volume set direction, publishing 1 every other month over a period of 6 months, then work on writing more stories to go with it to be published the following year.
>>Yeah, the Amazon book market is kinda shitty now. They really fucked a lot of people over. But never be too reliant on one seller. Sell it in as many places as possible. So that means places like SmashWords, Lulu, maybe Scribd, etc.
I highly recommend Lulu for print, especially if you want very high quality hardcover editions. I've been publishing with Lulu since 2005. They are awesome. By far the best self publishing platform for physical copies (paperback, hardcover, spiral bound, coil bound, and others.)
I did a 700 page non-fiction book with Lulu, had a hardcover and paperback edition. Quality is amazing. I prefer to use Lulu especially for printing up copies to use at conventions and book signing events.
Can't recommend Lulu for ebook sales though. Kindle or Smashwords is better for ebook editions.
The new Kindle Paperback editions are in beta right now. I don't think the general public has access to publishing Kindle paperbacks yet, but I was one of the authors invited into the beta program, so I just released a book in the Kindle paperback program... quality is VERY good. I choose the matte cover editions for it. Very nice.
And very easy to use. It's simple to convert your ebook files to paper back now. I'll be releasing 5 more novels via Kindle paperback program in the next few months.
If you can sign up for the beta program, definitely go with it. If not, be sure to check it out once it goes live for general access.
>>The book is intended to be one big novel. It has a three-act structure, but the "breaks" between acts aren't strong/satisfying enough to present them as separate books.
This is not that hard to do.
Simply separate it at each arch.
Then revise and edit each one separately on their own. Ad a new chapter at the end of 1 and 2, and the beginning of 2 and 3. Adding just enough to keep the story from being "chopped" feeling.
>>LOTR wasn't exactly standalone, and it's the obvious example of a fantasy novel that long broken into 3.
>>LotR was also published 70 years ago by a world-renown medievalist and established writer. The rules are different if you don't have that platform.
Being a researcher only gave him the advantage of writing something based off folklore on levels that drew people in because it was true to real life folklore. It had no bearings on his ability to get it published.
>>What is a "page"? Manuscripts aren't measured in pages because there's no standard size for a page. That depends on the size of the type, the size of the page, margins, etc.
>>The only relevant measurement for length of a manuscript is word count; that's what the entire industry uses.
>>You can generally assume that a page is about 250 words. So 800 pages is a 200k word manuscript.
not with Kindle... Kindle assumes 312 words per page. It's in Amazon's FAQs or ToS help guide, somewhere. They said the average trade paperback has 312 words to a page, thus why they designed the Kindle to display 312 words to a page (provided you have not adjusted your settings for larger or smaller font)
So on Kindle a 800 page book would be a 250k story.
Also, if it's a handwritten pen and paper manuscript, you can assume 150 words to a page, making a 800 page book, only 120,000 words or 384 page paperback.
When dealing with publishers... if you want to be trade published instead of self publishing... NEVER say page count, ALWAYS say word count, because end page count will be determined by layout, font size, line spacing, margins, etc, and they will change font larger or smaller to meet an end goal page count.
>>Your question is about serials. What you described above is not a serial. That's turning a single manuscript into a trilogy.
Yes.
Finally, someone who knows what you are describing is not a serial.
>>A serial is releasing a longer, novel-length story published over time in episodes. In the past, serial fiction was popular in magazines, with a new installment coming in each issue. Comic books are generally still a serialized form, where stories unfold over multiple issues.
Face palm.
No.
No.
No. No. No. No. No. No.
No.
DAMN IT!
You started out good. You made it sound like you knew what a serial was.
What the hell? Did you both go to the same incompetant school or has the entire American school system gone down the toilet?
Can't you at least get out a dictionary and look up the damned word before you make a fool of yourself even more?
For crying out loud. Doe nobody know what a serial is any more?
What is this world coming to?
>>Episodes are the length of a short story (or maybe a short novella), e.g. around 2000 words to maybe as high as 20,000 words. (Again, "pages" are irrelevant.)
OMG!
Talk about bad advice.
Did you learn NOTHING in English grammar class? This is basis grade school stuff? This isn't even high school knowledge. This is 3rd grade information on the difference between books and short stories.
What the hell are they teaching in schools these days?
On what planet is 20,000 words a novella?
Stephen King's SHORT STORY "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption" is 49,198 words long.
That's a 50,000 word story that is TOO SHORT for a publishing house to classifiy it as a novella.
75,000 words is a novella in the publishing industry.
>>Additionally, a serial is structured different than a standard novel. You can't just break a novel up into 15,000 word chunks and expect it to succeed as a serial. Think about episodic television that's telling a season-long story arc: each episode ends with a cliffhanger or a teaser for the following episode to make the audience want to know what happens in the next episode. That is how a serial is structured.
Agree on the structure... just, not the name.
What you are describing is known as a Serialized Novel, NOT a Serial.
A serial is a completly different thing from a serialized novel. You are mixing up your words so increadiably wrong, wrong, wrong.
Go read a damned dictionary and find out what words mean.
>>Is there still a market for serials on Kindle? That question assumes there was ever a market for serials on Kindle. Kindle is certainly a better market for serials than exists anyplace else. I think some of the SF magazines like Analog or Asimov's might still run serials, but there are very few magazine markets left for serials. But since the minimum price for anything on Amazon's Kindle is $0.99, that means that reading all the episodes of a serial is typically more expensive than a straight-up ebook, so that pretty much constrains the market to writers who are already successful and have an established audience willing to pay $0.99/week to get the next episode.
Clearly you don't often read print editions of serialized fiction.
A 16 page story goes for around $7.99 to $12.99 from most publishers these days.
If you are selling for .99c, you are way underselling yourself.
If you are selling short fiction on Amazon, price is at $2.99.
Your Novels should never be under $4.99, $7,99 is recommended, and your short stories should never be under $2.99.
And since you mention him... Hugh Howey himself sells his 5,000 word short stories for $3.99 and his novels for $11.99 - Kindle editions - and he was doing that from the very beginning, LONG before he was famous. (I know because we were online friends from MySpace days back when he was considering the possibility of mabe writing something. I've been seeing his writing career from "the inside" for a long time. It's also how we ended up doing an anthology together back in 2013... again, before he was famous.)
People always wonder how did he become a millionair writing short stories from Kindle... it's because he charges $3.99 per 5,000 words.
People today like to say: "well he can do that because he's a big name." But they forget he was doing that BEFORE he was a big name.
>>I also might consider Kindle Select. That's the route I'm going. Exclusivity isn't my favorite route but the advantages of allowing unlimited users to read without the per part cost are big here. I'll also be putting out compilations of 6 parts for 2.99 every 6 since I feel .99 is pushing it. (My parts are mostly 5000 to 7000 words with a few in the 9000 range)
I did Select for a while. The good thing about it is you can try it out for 90 days and if you don't like it, cancel it and go without it later.
What I do is... I put my new release in Select, the day I publish it. Then for the first week, I can give away free copies to my readers, and they can read it for free on Kindle Unlimited as well. After the week is up, I tell Amazon to cancel my Select subscription. It remains there for 90 days, allowing people 90 days to try my book via Kindle Unlimited. Then after the 90 days is up, Select expires, and then I can post excerpts on my blog and website (a thing you are NOT allowed to do while in Select).
Doing it that way, my readers get free access to my new releases, but my books are not available for free for long, so they know if they want to read it free, they only have a few weeks after the release date to do so.
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.
Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.
For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:
American English to Scottish:
a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "
a long distance from = A piece fae
a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "
about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks
accomplishments = kunnandi
After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "
alive (living) = kvikr
Always on the move = Never aff o da go
am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"
are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"
autumn = dah haihst
belong to = fylgja
best = bettah moost
betray (verb) = svíkja
bewildered = villhyggjandi
building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "
built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."
cast a spell = hoodooed
cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"
child = bairn
church = kirk
color = colour
danger = hœttr
daren't = darena
daring = djarfr
dark = dökk
dark elf = Dökkálfr
dark-elves = Døkkálfar
darker = dökká
do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"
do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"
each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "
educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "
elf = Alfr
Elf = Álfr
Elf Home = Álfheimr
Elf World = Álfheimr
elf-advice = Ælfred
elf-beautiful = ælfscyne
elf-friend = Ælfwine
elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru
elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard
elf-powerful = Ælfric
everyday = ivvryday
eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"
fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."
feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."
further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."
green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."
handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "
have faith = trúa
Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis
Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.
have not = ain't
He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.
He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.
Head for = Mak wye for
head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak
head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie
horse fly = klegsie
I = Me
I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "
I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)
idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."
idiot = numpty
if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "
I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye
know = ken
looked = lokid
looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."
magic = hoodoo
naked = nøkkviðr
needle = bodkin
neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "
No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "
Nobody knew = not-knew nobody
Noontide = Da heicht o da day
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."
old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "
orange = o'jinn
out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."
outside = oot dair
people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "
people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."
poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "
Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "
shield = skjoldr
Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "
tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "
the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"
them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"
there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."
they = dey
To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."
understand = understonde
understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "
very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"
Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"
Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "
For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf
The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf
More information about our language can be found on this website: https://www.iheardee.com which is written in my native language.
However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.
My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.
It is a very great struggle.
At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.
Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.
I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.
Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.
Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.
If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.
However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.
My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.
While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.
As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.
I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.
Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.
As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.
have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.
I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.
I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".
It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"
The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.
The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.
While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.
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Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 |
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
>I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Ao3 | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |
Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....
... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.
While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since. |
The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground
On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.
She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.
The attack also triggered labour.
My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.
Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.
The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.
The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.
Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.
Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.
Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.
Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.
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The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.
Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.
Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.
Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.
In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.
Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.
But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.
I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.
Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.
Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.
I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.
My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.
Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
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There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.