Developing Better Writing Skills
or answering the question:
"Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?"

Developing Better Writing Skills
or answering the question:
"Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?"

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Uhm... I don’t even know where to begin.

We are going to use a strange email as an example of what you should NOT write and hopefully everyone who reads this will see how they can take this email and use it to become better writers and develop better writing skills.

Perhaps, someday even the person who wrote this email, will stumble across this page and realize WHY a TOR editor called them illiterate.

It is fairly obvious that this email was intended to be sent to someone else and somehow got sent to me by mistake, so at first I was going to just toss it aside. But than I got to thinking, the grammar of this email is so bad, maybe I can use it as a writing lesson to help other improve their own writing. 

And so, here we are. I'm going to post this email, than I'm gong to answer it. Hopefully my answer will show you what they did wrong and help you to avoid making the same mistakes.

I think the person who wrote this email may be drunk or high or off their meds or... something. 

Also, I’m wondering if they sent the email to the incorrect person? Parts of it appears to be written as though they were replying to something, but this is no one I’ve ever heard of before. Perhaps they mistyped the email address and mine was 1 letter or number off from the person they were sending this too?

I don’t know.

In trying to translate the mindless, gibbering, rambling, I think, it sounds like they got rejected by TOR, sort of, It sounds like TOR liked their manuscript and asked them to make some grammar changes to make it sound less illiterate, and rather than jump on the rare opportunity to get published by one of the biggest of the Big 5, they got drunk and wrote this email and for some reason sent it to me. 

That’s what it looks like at least. Near as I can tell.

All I can say with any assuredness is that the subject title of the email, certainly matches the body contents of the email.

The subject/title is: “Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?” and the contents of the body are certainly illiterate, that’s for sure.

On some levels I’m wondering if it’s someone’s idea of a joke, given that the subject was: “Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?” and then the contents of the body is the most utterly illiterate tripe of gibberish I’ve ever read.

This person claims to be an editor and yet, it’s clear they don’t have even a basic 3rd grade level grasp on the English language. The grammar is barely legible. And the train of thought jumps topics mid sentence, and has clearly skipped major thought points in between the jumps leaving it impossible to figure out what they are talking about at all.

The email starts out okay, but quickly devolves into gibberish.

But rather than try to describe it to you, I’m just going to copy and paste the entire email and let you read it for yourself.

I’m not sure what to think of this email. I’ll try to answer it, seeing how they sent it to me. But damn, this is an email you have to see to believe, so here it is in it’s entity ... read it and see what you think about this wild gibbering illiterate mess of unedited train of thought:

.................

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Well, there it is.

What do you think of it?

Where you able to understand it? Because I certainly wasn’t.

It’s 91,755 words long, nearly as long as the answers you find here on my website.

I’m not sure if I should do one of my usual line by line answers or not, because if I do that, damn, this page is going to be super, mega long.

Should we do a line by line response to this bizarre email?

I think we have to, just because of how much it jumps topic.

Well, let’s have a go at it...

>>>Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?

Do they?

In nearly 5 decades of writing, publishing, running an advice column for writers, being the editor in chief of 2 literary magazines, and dealing with literally tens of thousands of writers, publishers, reviewers, editors, and critics, I’ve NEVER heard anyone call the fiction format “illiterate”.

I'm wondering if you even know what illiterate means.

It means a person who doesn’t have a clear grasp on grammar and is incapable of communicating with others because they can’t speak or write in proper grammar.

And... you most certainly ARE illiterate. Your email is a glaring testimony of that.

Being illiterate in itself is not a bad thing, but if you plan to be a writer who seeks publication, you DO NEED to have at minimum a working knowledge of high school grammar, and you don’t have that. Please go back and read the email you sent to me and you’ll see what I mean.

You ARE in desperate need of taking English grammar Remedial Adult Ed classes.

Your grammar is absolutely, utterly atrocious. A grade school child would have trouble reading it. Yes your grammar is that bad.

If your manuscript is written in even a quarter of the horrendously atrociously bad grammar you used in this email, you’ll never get published.

Being fiction isn’t why they called your work illiterate.

They called your work illiterate because, you most certainly ARE illiterate, and you need to accept that and work on fixing it. Until you learn how to use grammar correctly, you have no hope of ever being published.

And you mentioned that a TOR editor liked your story, but wanted you to fix the illiterate grammar.

And rather than fix the bad grammar and resubmit the manuscript again, you write this gibbering bull shit to other authors?

Damn.

You arrogant little fool. Do you have any idea what type of publishing contract you just threw away?

TOR makes movie deals. Chances are very high that if you get published with TOR, you’ll get made into a movie as well.

You are so arrogant, so self righteous, so unwilling to improve your flaws, that you’d throw away a TOR contract?

WOW!

Not only are you illiterate, you are also the biggest fool of an idiot I’ve ever encountered in the publishing industry.

Why don’t you just higher an editor to improve your draft, take some remedial Grammar classes, and spend a few months rewriting the draft, than send it in to that TOR editor again?

Clearly he liked it and wants to publish it.

TOR doesn’t take first time authors and they don’t read anything unless an agent sent it. I don’t know how you got your manuscript in the hands of one of their editors, but damn, your story must be VERY good for them to consider a first time author without and agent.

You’ve got a really good deal on your hands here.

Don’t throw this opportunity away.

Get off you ass and learn to write pristine, correct, proper grammar, fix the manuscript and send it back to him.

If you want to get better at something, you have to practice and writing is no exception. Editing your grammar is a part of the writing process. Learn hw to do it. Than practice, practice, practice.

You have a big house editor who thinks your story is good, but thinks your grammar is illiterate and has asked you to fix your grammar.

Get a book on grammar and use it to edit your story. 

>>>I feel, just talking about my work and knowing I've completed it and it's one piece of the 10+ books in my world, gives me some form of excitement about it all. It shows that I still have a lot to improve and that's exciting too. Some people read my work and it's so cool to discuss my characters like they're actual characters, even if I haven't published yet, and I definitely want to polish it more.

10+ books and you sound like you've burned out before even finishing the first one? That's not a good sign.

This line sounds like you are still ready to go at it, but the rest of your email sounds like you've lost interest and given up on the idea.

You won't get far in this career if you get so badly deflated after one editor rejects your manuscript.

Sorry, but you need a reality check here. The average writer will get 130 rejection slips before they publish their first novel.

Get a backbone, grow some balls, edit your manuscript, and try sending it out again.

It's what writers do.

Here you admit you have a lot to improve. Later you bitch about how great it is and doesn't need fixing. Than you go back to saying it does need fixing and talk about giving up on the project because there is no excitement in editing.

Writing is hard work.

Yes, it's fun. But it's not fun 24/7.

There is a lot of long, boring, grinding, hard work, and if you ONLY want to stick around for the fun parts and shirk off the hard stuff, than this career is not for you.

>>>I don't know what it is. Maybe it's an accumulation of everything I'm facing in life as once but it was really passionate about this work. I wrote the novel in 5 months and then proofread it. And began pitching it but so far only rejections (I don't think they go to me as I can still feel excited and I want to improved) but I just don't feel the love I did back then. I'm going over it again and even have ideas on how to improve it, but I don't feel the same energy.

It's called the Newlywed Effect. It means the honeymoon is over and reality is starting to set it.

Fun and games are done, goofing off and lazing around are over. It's time to buckle up, knuckle down and start grinding away at the whet stone until you've polished that manuscript into crisp, clean, perfection.

>>>I help people as an editor, and I think I'm good at at it. I know a lot about story as a whole, and it's easy for me to help writers in multiple ways.

Uhm... honey, given how utterly atrocious your grammar is, I think you need to find a new line of work. If you can't be bothered to edit your own email correctly, than I sure as hell wouldn't recommend you as an editor to a newbie writer.

It's painfully clear you are one of those know-nothing FIVVER editors who can't tell his own ass from a hole in the ground, and not a real, actual, professional editor working for a publishing house.

You aren't even writing at a 3rd grade level.

That means an 8 year old can edit better than you can.

That's truly terrifying.

With how bad your grammar is, how extremely illiterate you grammar is, you have no business trying to edit other people's writing.

You are simply not qualified on any level at all.

Work on learning how to edit your own emails before you try to edit other people.

>>>But for my own stories... It just feels like they keep growing in my head, and I keep getting cool ideas I want to write about, but I can't seem to get to work. It's a weird feeling because I was able to have the discipline to finish my novel in 5 months and it was my third attempt at a novel too. Some part of me thinks the writing sucks how because I've grown and look back at it, but then I'm like I'm over thinking it because most people won't be so critical about it as I am - people usually do end up what I write (not sure why though haha).

Ideas are everywhere.

Ideas are easy to get.

Ideas are a dime a dozen.

Ideas are meaningless and will never become novels.

You need characters.

No one cares about an idea.

Readers care about characters.

Either you are using the word ideas very, seriously wrong here and you haven't got a clue what you are talking about, which given how bad your grammar is, I feel if highly likely, or, you simply have no clue how a novel is put together.

In fact, your email reads like you are someone who has never read a novel in their life and wouldn't know a novel if it hit you in the face.

People who read a lot, usually have a good grasp on grammar and can write at very professional levels.

You are writing borderline gibberish that is disturbingly illiterate and you don't seem to be aware of how really, really, really bad your grammar really is.

>>>Another issue is that since I have a lot of ideas, I wrote this first novel to introduce my world. It was a standalone piece with sequel potential, but I didn't really write it to have a sequel. But now I'm getting some ideas for that too.

Uhm... do you even know what a novel is?

Have you ever even read a novel?

Novels aren't about worlds. Novels are about people.

Novels tell the story of a snippet of a character's life.

You're writing a novel, not a travel guide. You know that, right?

Are you sure what you are writing is not a world building guide for Dungeons and Dragons or Pathfinder?

Sadly I see this often.

People who never read a novel before, but have played a lot of DnD, build huge massive worlds, than bitch and moan that they have lots of ideas but can't make anything form a novel.

Try reading an actual novel. 

If you want to see an example of a series well written: try reading Harry Potter. 8 novels. A well built world. But the story follows the life of one character. Each novel spans the space of 1 year. The series follows 8 years of his life.

Read that. All 8 novels.

Than you'll see what I mean.

Volume 1 should NOT be about introducing your world. Readers don't care about your world. Readers care about your characters.

>>>I've been writing another story in the same universe, shorter than my main idea for the world but still much larger than my existing novel and it just seems so hard to juggle 10s of characters because I want each to feel fulfilling in every aspect. And also, what if I write something weird or wrong now, and ruin the foreshadowing/logic of things to come later. I want it all to make sense and the more the ideas keep growing, especially as I have characters I want to continue in different books so I don't want to lose a feeling of continuity...

Again, it feels like you have no clue how novels work.

You should NOT have 10s of characters.

You need ONE main character (often a hero, but doesn't have to be), one character who acts as a foil (often a villain, but doesn't have to be), a 2 or 3 other characters for them to interact with. Five characters tops. They can meet background or crowd characters, but those should never have more than 2 or 3 pages at the most.

If you have a lot of characters and you want to show case each of them, perhaps you could try doing what I did. It worked for me and it might work for you.

I started The Twighlight Manor series in 1978. It started out as a random one-off story that I wrote in a single day. There was no plan on publishing it, no plan on more stories. Nothing. I was a child. I knew nothing of publishing. An adult in my life, read it and sent it in to some contest, and it won and got published and gained fans who asked for more. So I wrote another story about the house, and a different character living in it.

As time went by I developed a massive database in 3 ring binders of 755 characters, all for 10+ pages each of character sheets, history, etc.

The house stood for 500 years and these characters were the people who had lived in it over that time. And I wanted to write a story about each character. And I did. But not novels. The result was 2,431 short stories, most 12 to 50 pages long, each set in the manor house, but each about a different character.

The main character, the one who built the house and later haunted it, was Quaraun, the main character of the 138 novels, which became known as The Quaraun series, while the 2,431 short stories were known as The Twighlight Manor series, and each featured a different main character from a different time period, but always set in the same manor house.

My suggestion to you is to write the novels of your series about the main character ONLY, and than, take each of your 10s of other characters and write a separate short story for each one. That way you can write about all of them, without them being in a jumble. Each gets to stand out in their own story, while the main character can move on n the novels.

>>>But then again, even published and professional books and shows make these kinda mistakes and I'm probably overthinking it. But I just want that passion for writing back where life and the ropes of recognition didn't bind me. I'm not sure how to find that again.

Not everything has to be a novel.

From everything you are saying, it sounds like your series is better suited to being lots and lots and lots of short stories.

It sounds like you have lots of plots and lots of characters and are trying to force them to fit in a novel and are getting burned out and overwhelmed because they just don't all fit together.

It sounds like you have the makings of a large series of short stories, not the makings of a 10 volume set of novels.

I would suggest you rethink formatting, and try writing lots of short stories instead of a few novels and see if tat doesn't work out better for you.

You sound like you love your world but are frustrated with there being too much to fit in one story.

>>>I've talked about this a lot. With myself and others. But it's been months of not writing and I tell myself I want to write everyday but then I either I procrastinate or life gets in the way... Like I shouldn't even be writing this post.

Perhaps you just need a break.

Nothing wrong with that.

Writing is a lot of mental energy. It wears you down. And it stresses you out, because you feel every emotion your characters feel.

Writing is very draining.

And writing every day is quite bad advice.

Federal laws do not allow employees to let workers work more than 5 days a week for a reason. The law REQUIRES you to take off 2 days a week to rest.

You'll burn out and be no good at your job if you over work yourself, that's why you get weekends off and are given vacation time.

Writing is the same way.

Treat writing like a job.

Take lunch breaks, only do it for 4 hours a day.

Take weekends off.

Take summer vacations.

Writing every day causes burn out.

And what you are describing is burn out.

Don't be afraid to take a weekend off, or a week, or a month, or even a whole year.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Think of your health first.

>>>I just wonder how I had the discipline to work on my craft before, and now I feel burnt out for months.

I received this email May 11, 2021.

Months of no writing means that you got stressed out by 2020.

Perfectly understandable.

Every one did.

Life went to shit for the entire planet.

2020 was hell. Take a year off. Rest. Relax. You probably need it. Everyone else certainly does.

Worry about getting back into writing later. Just rest now. The desire to write will return. You'll see.

>>>So much that it irks me, not that I'm in that situation, but more so that that's just how things work. Which is very normal, but it does make me question why people like simpler prose, when a lot of depth in writing actually comes from an author's way of words.

Uhm...what?

Okay this is where your email starts to swirl down the toilet drain.

The drink or drugs seemed to have kicked in at this point and went total illiteracy from here on out.

>>>For me, I would normally opt a visual story over a book just because how simple a book is. So usually, it's the way something is written which draws me in. I can see the effort put into the words. And that shows quality over quantity.

Ah! Yes. You mean you read comic books and not novels.

That was pretty obvious straight from the beginning.

>>>Nothing is stopping me. 

You are correct. Nothing is stopping you. So WHY are you writing this to me? Why do you just work on your series.

You do realize that all this time you wasted writing this email, could have been spent working on your series.

>>>I was just having a thought at how critical some on social media can take a comment/post and judge someone's whole life or career over it. Just a thought.

Uhm... what?

You changed topics again.

But yes, I agree. Social media is very critical. More so since the mass influx of millions of school bullies took to the internet in 2020 when schools shut down and they found themselves with no one to bully, so they rushed to the internet and now massive hoards of toxic cyberbullies bully everyone on social media.

You sound very immature.

The fact that you were unaware that social media will judge someone's whole life or career over a single comment, tells me that you've never been on the internet until recently.

I've been online since 1996

I stopped reading social media posts and comments in 2010, when the SARS Virus shut down half the planet and trolls took the internet by storm.

Since 2010 social media has been making a mass downward spiral into trolldom. But in 2020 when the SARS virus mutated into Covid-19 and 10 years of government doing nothing about SARS caused the mass world shut down of 2020, we saw the largest influx of trolls the internet has ever seen.

You are very young if you didn't know about the 2010 troll attack. You are even younger if you only joined social media in 2020.

First impressions are important.

How you represent yourself determines how people view you. And I got to say, my first impression of you is not very good.

Your email tells me that you are a lazy ass drunk.

Drunks are nothing but gutter scum piece of trash.

Soooo... my first impression of you is that, you are a lazy ass gutter scum piece of trash.

The massive amount of grammar errors, the childish whining, and the inability to finish a complete thought from one sentence to the next, tells me you are immature, illiterate, and suffer from several very serious mental disorders that are not being properly medicated.

Much of what you say implies you are a wealthy, pampered, spoiled brat who grew up with a silver spoon shoved up your ass and have never had anyone say no to you before.

And yet, I don't know you.

Outside of this one email I know nothing about you.

You may not be a drunk, lazy ass gutter scum piece of trash.

You may not be an illiterate, spoiled, rich brat.

But guess what?

There is NOTHING in you email that says you are NOT a drunk, lazy ass gutter scum piece of trash.

There is NOTHING in you email that says you are NOT an illiterate, spoiled, rich brat.

In fact EVERYTHING about this email SCREAMS that you ARE an illiterate, spoiled, drunk, lazy ass gutter scum piece of trash rich brat.

And if you did not want me to think that about you, than maybe you should have done a better job at editing your own writing and ensuring that you used correct and proper grammar, ensuring that you didn't ramble mindless drivel like the town drunk, ensuring that you presented yourself in a professional manner.

>>>I was just having a thought at how critical some on social media can take a comment/post and judge someone's whole life or career over it. Just a thought.

If your social media comments and posts are the drunk laced, illiterate, mindless drivel you spewed out in this email, well than, I can see why people are judging you.

It is so painfully obvious that you have no education, no manners, no etiquette, and no level of any ability to present yourself in a professional manor on any level what so ever.

Yes, people on social media will judge you harshly. They do this to every one. But the fact remains, if your social media posts are anything like this email, well, you are doing a damned good job at feeding the trolls and giving them reasons to judge you. You are making it worse for yourself.

>>>But people who don't understand this... I just don't understand what's so hard about it.

You put this after your complaint about social media. Which in correct, literate, proper grammar, means you are still talking about social media.

However, given you mish-mash, broken grammar and utterly illiterate style of writing, it appears that you are back to talking about your manuscript again? I think this because the next thing you say is...

>>>It's not that everyone doubts or misunderstands my work, but some do.

So what?

Some one criticized your work.

So what?

Get over it.

You sound like Kendra Silvermander.

She writes her emails n this same weird, rambling, nonsensical, illiterate mish mash.

Do you remember Kendra Silvermander?

If you are emailing me, you SHOULD.

There once was an author jealous of my “success”. Success in this situation being that my novel had been published. Self-published. It sold only 12 copies in over a year. So no “success” here. Especially not given that she was calling me a “millionaire” because of it. Turns out we had been in the same writing group in college a few years earlier apparently, I don’t know, I don’t remember her there. There were only 5 people, all of them at least 40 years younger than her, so… yeah. But she claims she was. I published 4 novels in each of the years since, 12 total, and she had not yet published anything and was resentful because of that, even though there was hardly any sales to be jealous of. She created 52 Amazon accounts so she could leave 52 one star reviews on the book. Than in the comments under each of the 52 one star reviews, she had a huge conversation with each of her 52 accounts.

I didn’t know about it until one of my friends on Facebook sent me a message asking if I had seen the wild 1 star review spam that was plastering one of my books. They knew I never read reviews on my books, so they realized I had not seen it.

It was a fascinating popcorn worthy read, with the following line, being copy and pasted over 500 times:

“A retarded story, about a retarded character, written by a retarded author.”

Every post ended with:

“I’m Kendra Silvermander! It’s my turn to shine! You won’t step on my toes no more!”

I was somewhere into the thousandth comment when abruptly they all vanished.

I was rather disappointed that they had been deleted. It was some of the funniest shit I’ve ever read. I wish Amazon had not deleted them. Even though they were 1 star neg reviews, they were utterly hilarious to read. It was painfully obvious they were written by a jealous author who was just trying to make me and books look bad, but ended up making herself look bad.

A few hours later Amazon sent me an email explaining that a self-published author had made 52 fake accounts to spam my books with 1 star reviews. They banned her from making new accounts, deleted her author account so she couldn’t publish with Kindle, and deleted the reviews.

That’s how she and all of her 52 accounts got banned by Amazon. Kendra Silvermander’s not allowed to publish books on Amazon now because of this. Something I found out more about afterward, because she started sending me dozens of emails a day, enraged that I had gotten her banned from Amazon. She thought I had reported her reviews, but I had not. I don’t think anyone reported them at all. I think Amazon’s algorithm noticed all 52 accounts had the same ispn. I had to get a restraining order because she started showing up at my house and sending death threats. Total psycho, so it made sense later why she thought nothing of creating 52 accounts to spam neg reviews with.

It was the only time I’ve ever read any review on any of my books, so I don’t know if I’ve ever had others removed or not.

My thought is this:

Reviews are there to help readers decide what to buy. You are the author, you don’t need to buy your own book, you already wrote it, so you have no business bothering to read reviews. Reviews are NOT there for you! No reputable book reviewer writes a review expecting the author to read it. Book reviews are intended to help readers decide if the book is something they might like. The only people who write reviews expecting the author to read it, are small minded self published authors who think reviews are an excuse to hurt the competition. Authors like that never last long. You want READERS not authors reviewing your work. ALL book reviews written by authors are pointless and should never be read. All all reviews written by readers are meant to be read by other readers, not the author, so no need to read those either.

In the end, I've never read any reviews before or since and I've published 138 novels (and mean NOVEL not current lazy trend of calling 50k word short stories a novel - I published 138 novels that are 200k word novels - and over 2,000 short stories - using the ORIGINAL 1830s definition of a short story: works under 75k words - not the 1,000 word flash people call shorts these days. People often ask how I'm able to publish so much, and I'm quick to tell them, I spend my time writing not worrying about what other people think of my work. Writers who spend all their time obsessing over reviews quit writing after the neg reviews start rolling in. Others refuse to write their next book until they receive a good review to motivate them first. Me? I don't read reviews at all and can just write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, instead or read, worry, read, worry, read, worry, read, worry.

So if other reviews were deleted, I have no way of knowing, because I don't even know how many reviews I have to begin with. I find it utterly pointless to waste time reading reviews, worrying about reviews, and fussing over reviews. I don't need others to tell me if my writing is good or not. Some will like it. Some will not. That's the way this career is. No reason to waste time worrying about what others think. I like what I write, I'm excited to write the next one, that's all that matters. I think far too many writers these days spend far too much time worrying about things that don't matter - like reviews. What did we authors do before 1994? Amazon didn't exist back than, and we had no reviews to worry about. Of course it was a lot harder to self publish back than too, but we did. I published my first novel in 1978. I've seen the industry change a lot n the past 5 decades. Fussing about review rose up in 2010 and I've seen it destroy the careers of many who simply gave up writing after reading a bad review. It's a dog eat dog career and if one bad review will stop you from writing, you shouldn't be writing.

I wish more writers today would spend time worrying about issues that mattered: like the shitty ass lack of grammar skills that is a plague the past 5 years, instead of focusing on things that don't matter, like reviews.

It appears to me, that you have never received a manuscript rejection before.

And your story has never been criticized before.

And like Kendra Silvermander, you are having a teddy bear meltdown because you don't know how to deal with anything rationally.

Here's a tip: GROW UP!

>>>Which makes this process quite weird and way more subjective than something similar in a visual medium.

You are aware that actual, real, professional writers, spend their time writing, right?

We who are multi published authors with dozens of published novels, don't have time to obsessively worry and fuss over what people think of our work, because we are too busy writing the next novel.

>>>But if you do something even remotely off the path in fiction writing, oh my look at you, you don't even know English grammar.

Uhm... if this email is any example of your work, than, you, what they are saying is true... YOU DON'T KNOW ENGLISH GRAMMAR!

It has nothing to do with fiction at all.

It has everything to do with putting nouns and verb in their proper places.

If you had said English was not your native tongue, I'd be more understanding of your plight. But honey, you are waving the you have good grammar flag very high and, you don't have good grammar, not even close, and I've seen hundreds of ESL students who gained a better grasp on grammar in 2 months, than you have after a lifetime of it as your native language.

>>>But the same logic can be applied to simple styles with no defining identity.

Style, is poet e.e.cummings never using a capital letter in protest, for the sake of making a point and trying to make a stand against school not allowing black students to learn to read.

Illiterate is not knowing how to use conjunctions, adverbs, prepositions, diphthongs, or or adjectives.

Style is Ernest Hemingway, never putting a "said" tag or a name after any line of dialogue, but making each character's dialogue so distinctive that you know who is talking and what emotion they are using without the use of names or said tags.

Illiterate is not knowing how to use periods, sentences, paragraphs, or comas.

Style is Lewis Carrol's Jabberwock poem, printed in reverse so you have to read it by holding the book to a mirror, and the phrases being lined up to form the shape of a dragon when centered on the printed page.

Illiterate is throwing mindless drivel on the page and calling it art.

>>>I won't be naming anyone, obviously, but they exist for sure. And it really makes me question how some authors are published.

Uhm... Who? What?

What are you even talking about?

Is this line even connected to anything else you wrote?

How drunk are you right now?

You seem to be referring to a thought which you thought in your head and forgot to type in the email.

Who exists?

What is making you question how some authors get published?

What the hell kind of illiterate crap are you writing here?

Are you really this illiterate or are you going out of you way to TRY to write as illiterate as possible to prove a point to whomever it was that called you illiterate?

And if that's what you are doing, why did you send the email to me and not to them?

They won't get your point if you don't send your email to the correct person.

Perhaps you should spend less time drinking and more time paying attention to what you type and who you send it to?

Had you paid attention to me, you'd have known hat I publish the emails I receive when I answer them. You'd also know that I never answer an email privately, and if you want an answer from me, that answer will be posted here on my website.

I wonder hw many people will read this before you realize you sent your email to me by mistake?

>>>Essentially, that "good" is subjective.

Uhm... again... what?

What "good" are you referring to?

Again, you seem to be referring to a thought which you thought in your head and forgot to type in the email.

Are you suggesting that good is subjective in connection to grammar skills?

No.

No. You either know how to use grammar correctly or you do not.

The story, the plot, the characters, yes that is all subjective, but being too lazy to use grammar isn't subjective, it's just you being lazy.

>>>And also that people are way more picky about petty stuff when it comes to writing compared to other art.

Again, you are rambling about grammar and illiteracy why comparing writing to art.

Yes, creating worlds, bringing life to characters, sending them off on adventures, or even writing male ego female hating speculative art fiction like The Brass Door, is subjective of being good only in the eye of the beholder.

But even wild, crazed, manic male ego glorifying, unabashed woman hating art pieces like The Brass Door or psychedelic pointlessness of The Unicorn in the Garden, even as none standard art pieces of extremes, they still both used correct and proper grammar to bring fort their very art piece stories.

Your use of grammar throughout this email is none standard and a bit confusing, so I’m having difficulty understanding what exactly you are trying to convey, and this definitely could be contributing to the bad reviews.

People who read, tend to be college graduates and have a full working knowledge of advantaged college level English grammar and are not going to be very forgiven of an author who is too incompetent to at least try to use correct grammar.

If your grammar is this messed up in just a simple emailed question, I’d hate to see how messed up it is in your books.

Know-nothing teens who can’t tell a comma from a period will not notice the lack of good grammar and will gush love for your story, but adults will struggle to get past a single page if your grammar is bad.

You should definitely consider taking some remedial Adult Ed classes in English Grammar, or even consider getting a degree in English Literature, Creative Writing, Journalism, Grammar, Teaching High School Literature, or something similar.

Gaining a good working grasp on the English language is a REQUIREMENT to have a successful writing career.

Sure you can sell a few books here and a few books there without any education at all, but if you have your heart set on successful sales and a high rate of good reviews, which is what you’ve said you want, than you MUST have the best, most pristine use of grammar possible. You NEED to get at LEAST an Associates Degree in English Literature, Creative Writing, Journalism, Grammar, Teaching High School Literature, or something similar.

The better the degree, the better your ability to write on a “successful” level.

Remember the more you study and practice your art, the better you will get at it.

* An Associates Degree is 2 years of studying English grammar.

* A Bachelors Degree is 4 years of studying English grammar.

* A Masters Degree is 8 years of studying English grammar.

* A PhD is 12 years of studying English grammar.

Think about it.

A 10 year old boy can play football and be the best on his team, but he won’t win the Super Bowl until he goes to college and trains for years and years and years and years and just keeps practising and practising and improving.

Now sure, he COULD train on his own and be the best football player in his town, but, without a coach he won’t see his own flaws and he’ll keep making those same mistakes over and over.

Sure all that practice in the back yard has made him good, but it has also made him blind to seeing his flaws as well.

When he goes to college and trains with others, he has his coach and team mates there to point out his errors and help him fix those mistakes so that he STOPS MAKING ERRORS and starts to play the CORRECTLY in the PROPER manner.

Once he sees his errors and follows his coach’s instructions to fix them, he becomes even better at his craft, and starts winning the big college games, and soon he’s playing in the pros, and before long he’s playing at the Super Bowl.

But he never would have made it to the Super Bowl if he continued practising on his own in the back yard.

Writing and publishing is just like football.

Sure you can do it on your own, self publish, do your own editing, make your own covers.

Nothing wrong with that. Lots of writers do it. I do it myself. It’s great. It’s fun. BUT... if you want to be “successful” you need to train.

Yes, practice makes perfect, but if you practice by yourself, you won’t ever see your own flaws and you’ll just keep practising the same mistakes and instead of becoming a better writer, you’ll just become very good at repeating the same mistakes you always made.

In order to become a big time successful writer, you NEED to go to college and train with others. Have a writing coach (professor) who can see your flaws, point them out to you, and show you how to fix them.

And when you learn to write clean copy in pristine perfect correct and proper grammar, you’ll suddenly see yourself go from selling 100 copies a month to 1,000 copies a day, and instead of receiving mostly bad reviews, you’ll start receiving mostly good reviews.

>>>I mean I had an editor at Tor read it and I think he read it cuz he liked it. But then he gave me some points. But now I thinking and thought of how to integrate those points but I also don't want to lose my own vision... But it's Tor too...

And there it is.

Finally we get to the point of all this raving and ranting.

You were rejected by TOR.

I notice that your grammar is so bad, so poor, so illiterate, that you can't even be bothered to spell TOR correctly.

Gee... I wonder why a TOR editor called you illiterate?

>>>It scares me even more because he didn't talk about publishing but he did read it and his response was professional. He only gave me one vague line that he liked it but that seemed the most appropriate way to go about feedback. I doubt he would have requested full MS if he didn't like what he read.

His response was professional ... unlike this illiterate email you have sent me, bitching about how you've been accused of being illiterate.

If he told you your grammar was illiterate, WHY do you think he would talk about publishing?

He told you to improve your writing.

So, here's an idea... why don't you take his advice and improve your writing?

Sending drunk crazed illiterate emails to random authors online isn't going to improve your writing. It really isn't.

>>>Firstly, never once did I say I was better. I don't know how that came to be. I just noticed some errors and style differences. I've noticed errors in writing I enjoyed. I've had experienced readers say to me, who enjoy Sanderson, that his prose isn't strong. No one is perfect, and popularity doesn't indicate quality. It's so easy to throw out a famous name as an example of prestige when there are many factors that go into it.

Uhm... what?

Can you stop changing topics from one sentence to the next?

Good god!

What the hell is wrong with you?

Did you even make an attempt to READ what you write before you clicked the send email button?

Are you saying that the TOR (not Tor) editor said you said you were better than him?

And what do you mean you noticed errors and style differences?

Are you saying you actually wrote to a TOR editor about a book he edited to tell him he missed some errors?

OMG! How the fuck arrogant are you?

Who died and made you god?

Also, who is Sanderson? Never heard of him.

>>>No one is perfect, and popularity doesn't indicate quality. 

True.

True.

Very true.

But who cares?

What does it matter to you?

Again, you are sounding like Kendra Silvermander here. A legendary, now very famous unpublished author, famous for her jealous rampages and screaming mindless illiteracy, sending emails not unlike this one, arriving at author homes wielding golf clubs, all because she saw an author self-publish 4 novels in 1 year, and she couldn't stop writing hate filled emails to finish her novel and get it published, so she had a jealous crazed meltdown, built a bomb, and murdered an entire family. For what? She could have spent that time finishing a novel. Now she's spending time in prison.

How much like Kendra Silvermander are you?

Will YOU be in prison soon too, because you also could not mind your own business?

Think how much you could get written of your series if you was not being a stupid ass nosey bastard.

Think how much work you could get done if you weren't drinking and writing these emails?

Think how much work you could have done, in the time you spent emailing a TOR editor telling him he couldn't edit a novel good enough.

You are a busy body who spends too much time worrying about what others are doing.

Why don't you try minding your own business and stop sticking your arrogant know it all nose in places it don't belong? Did you ever think of that?

>>>Secondly, I understand. It's easier to work on first drafts or guide others, but I can't see my work from fesh eyes and so I was just wondering how others self edit their work.

Are you asking me for advice?

Is there finally a point to this email and why I received it from you?

My editing process is already posted online. Go read it.

You didn't have to send me this crazy ass email to get that advice. It's already available online.

>>>A lot of the times I think my work just sucks so it's a very weird situstion for me to be in. I'm just trying to understand my own writing because I've had people say my work is good, in fact if I'm being honest, it's all I ever hear which raises even more questions but I don't think they're saying it to be nice at all because of the context of are talks.

Is this the good is subjective part you were talking about earlier?

A lot of people are going to say your work is good, just because they either don't want to hurt your feelings or because they don't want to admit they never read it at all.

In the end, it never matters if someone thinks your work good or bad. All that matters is that YOU enjoy reading your work.

Yes.

Read what you wrote.

Far too often I see unpublished writers complaining online that they can't read what they wrote, citing that their writing is "too cringe to read".

Uhm...

If the author loves the character, the reader will love him too.

If the author cried during the scene, the reader will cry too.

If the author can't read it because it's too cringy, the reader won't be able to read it either, and THAT is why so many remain unpublished.

If you can't bare to read your own work, how the hell do you expect the reader to want to read it?

Did you know that The Night of the Screaming Unicorn is one of my all time favourite novels, to the point that I reread it at least once or twice a month. I love reading and rereading that novel. Yes. I wrote that novel. And I not only enjoyed writing it, but I also fully enjoy reading it.

BoomFuzzy is another novel that I read and reread over and over because I love it so much. And yes, I wrote that novel too.

If you try to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no one.

You simply can not please every one, so you might as well please yourself.

Write what you are most passionate about, the story you have the most desire and drive to write. And when you are finished with that story, move on to writing the next story which fills your heart with the burning desire to write it.

This is what I believe in. And it is more than what I preach, it is also what I practice.

So with this in mind, you can see that I do not feel there is such a thing as writing the “wrong” story.

I believe that whatever story your heart desires to write, that is the best story for you to write at that moment.

>>>I know what I do, but sometimes it's easy to lose track of it or get lost in the work. I just came here for suggestions and perspectives, not to be told how the industry by a certain someone who thinks they know better when I've been in contact with professionals before...

Again, all of this just reads like a whinny, spoilt brat, who never had any one say no to them before.

So a TOR editor rejected you. So what?

It's not his job to give you suggestions or perspectives.

And yes, an editor at a publishing house DOES know better than you.

So you've been in contact with professionals. Well, whoop-dee-do. So the hell what.

Contacting a professional is a hell of a lot different than being a professional.

And you my friend are proving many times over that you have no level of professionalism in you at all.

Newsflash: professionals don't write emails like this.

You will NOT become a better writer by emailing editors and authors raving and ranting because an editor at TOR called you illiterate.

In fact, this email, will likely kill your chances of not only NEVER being published by TOR, but will also blacklist you from being published by ANY big house publisher.

You do know editors work at multiple publishing houses, using pennames, the same way authors do, right?

And you are also aware that the publishing industry is a rather small industry where every one knows every one and so you email one, they'll forward your email to all the rest.

And you do know I'm the editor in chief of 2 literary magazines and am friends with lots of editors at lots of big and small publishing houses so, it isn't going to be difficult for me to figure out which TOR editor you are raving about.

Did you think about any of that before writing this email?

No?

Perhaps you should have.

Because guess what? No one likes back stabbing bastards like you and no one is going to want to work with you, now that you've been dragging TOR's name through the mud.

TOR has their reputation to think about and writers like you are high risk.

Every publisher has their reputation to think about.

No publisher will work with writers like you who run around bad mouthing the editor who rejected you.

You have a brain, maybe you should try using it.

Brains are dreadfully useful items ad they are required for anyone seeking to become a better writer.

Tell me this: WHICH writing skills did you develop while writing this email?

>>>A) I do doubt my work, regardless. B) Even after feedback, it makes me doubt my work more. I just don't under why an editor at Tor would read my work for no reason at all. It's left me very confused. As he's been nice to me and I want to send it again, but I'm so unsure about it now. C) Yes. I've lost interest in this work currently. But I do like writing as a whole. But this whole industry seeking thing has made it hard. It was so much easier to write before I tried seeking publishing.

Oh boo-hoo. Give up writing than. Clearly you don't have the balls for this career, if one rejection causes you to want to give up.

I’ve never been inspired by bowing to the will of others.

And what MOST people classify as success, I classify as you being castrated, stripped of your balls and your dignity, forced to grovel in hopes of favor from another.

What are you?

A man?

Or a dog?

I find myself utterly disgusted by what most people think of as motivation to write, and by what you clearly see as motivation to write.

Why do you need the approval of others to move forward?

Because you have no self worth.

You lack confidence in yourself so you rely on others to pat you on the back.

Is that REALLY success?

To me, that’s nothing but failure on the truest and purest of levels.

You fail at existing, because you can not exist on your own.

You need a crutch.

You need someone to lead you along and show you the way.

You are too much of a weak willed pussy to be able to stand up on your own two feet. And because of this, I see you as a failure.

You are a failure.

You are a failure because you are incapable of making your own decisions.

You are a failure because you are incapable of making your own choices.

You are a failure because you can only move forward if others pander to your selfish ego.

You are a failure because you are willing to give up when not enough people like you.

I'm not here to teach you writing skills. That's your college professor's job.

I'll tell you how I got to where I am, and you can decide if that path is right for you too or not.

My advice?

Give up writing.

This career is not for you.

You’ll NEVER succeed, because there will always be haters. There will always be rejections. There will always be negative 1 star reviews. There will always be critics.

You pick yourself up and you move forward or you give up and rot in the gutter. It's your choice.

You can’t please everyone, and if you don’t even have the ability to please yourself, than give up now, because there is no point in you even trying to go forward.

You don’t have the mental strength, the emotional stamina, or the self worth for this business.

Millions dip their toes into the writing career, but rare is the person with the mental and emotional strength to succeed.

You MUST be able to stand on your own to succeed in this career.

You MUST be able to write what YOU want to write, without bending to the whims and wills of the market.

If you change what you write every time you get a bad review, you are doomed to fail before you even get started.

I want you to succeed, but I’m not sure you can. Just go back and re-read your question. Read it carefully. Perhaps you will than understand why I can not see any publishing success in your future.

If you are to succeed at this, or anything else in life, you NEED to change your attitude.

You NEED to have a strong self worth.

I can’t help you with that.

No one can.

That’s something you have to build up on your own.

And I say this because of your next part...

>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.

Thank you.

Psychology is a REQUIRMENT for entry into EVERY college. You MUST take it your first semester no matter what degree, no matter what college, so, you ain't saying anything special here.

Psychology is a sub-par, standard course.

Try getting a Master's Degree in Forensic Psychology/Abnormal Psychology of the Criminal Mind, than come back when you are educated enough in Psychology to talk to me on my level of Psychology education.

Are you aware I am qualified to open a practice and treat patients?

Are you?

Did you know I'm qualified to work as an FBI Forensic Psychologist?

Are you?

I write about a serial killer. My main character Quaraun, is the villain of the series, but it's told from his perspective, so he's also the protagonist. I got a degree in Forensic Psychology/Abnormal Psychology of the Criminal Mind not to get a job with the FBI, which is the ONLY job you can get with that degree, but rather, I got it to study, real world research, into real world serial killers and how they think, so that I could wrote Quaraun more accurately.

How many people do you know who would devote 8 years of college study, just to write a more accurate fictional character?

Are you willing to do that?

I think not.

You aren't even willing to improve your grammar skills.

But all of this means nothing.

What I've studied, what classes/courses I've taken, what degrees I have, all of that is irrelevant to you and your email.

And can you see why I pointed it out?

I point out what I've studied, what classes/courses I've taken, what degrees I have, so show you EXACTLY how irrelevant it is to this conversation, and show you how utterly irrelevant it was for YOU to say:

>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.

Thank you.

Why did you say this?

You just spouted it out at random.

>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.

Thank you.

It seems so utterly pointless.

You're right. 

You don't need my feedback, so why than did you email me?

You are also correct in that I know nothing about you... outside of what you said in this email.

I've never heard of you before.

Why are you emailing me?

And this line, it looks like a reply.

What are you replying too?

Again, it looks like you were too drunk to know what you were writing and also too drunk to send this email to the correct person.

I feel like you were sending this email to someone else, someone you were already talking to.

But since you said it, let's address it.

>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.

Thank you.

Okay. So how does this help you become a better writer?

You can study something, sure, but unless you apply it to your every day life, your studies are for naught. 

I know a guy who has over 200 college degrees. Yes, 200+ college degrees. He lives in an oil barrel. No, not a big one. It's barely big enough for him to crawl into.

He has active TB and is highly contagious. He's infected dozens of college students. He doesn't have a job. He started going to college to dodge the draft during the Vietnam War, and never stopped.

He's 83 years old now in 2021. He has spent more than 60 years of his life, endlessly in college, out of fear of more drafts, and he lives 100% off of financial aid, study grants, and scholarships.

ALL of his degrees are in liberal studies and psychology, mostly focused on religion.

You'd think someone with so many degrees, he'd be pretty smart.

But he believes god is an alien living on Kolob, and he thinks the American president is a shape shifting reptilian. He can barely string a full sentence together when he talks, and he talks like a wild crazed madman. You'd never suspect him of having any degrees let alone more than 200, including more than 30 PhDs.

But... chances are high you know him, you've seen him, the whole world saw him January 6, 2021 when he was one of the people livestreaming himself breaking into the capital and smashing up things inside.

My uncle David is living proof, that studying something does not make one smart.

You CAN have hundreds of degrees and dozens of PhDs and still be illiterate, still be a deranged conspiracy theorist, still be a criminal, still be a child abuser, still be a spouse beater, still be an animal abuser, still be Colorado's most wanted for shooting 14 police officers, and still be wanted by the FBI. My uncle David is ALL of the above.

Education is good.

But education can also be pointless.

And in this case, I feel education is pointless.

What have you done with you Psychology studies?

Clearly you've never written any Psychology essays to be published in peer based Psychology Journals, that can be seen by you not knowing eve the most basic of grammar skills.

So, what EXACTLY was your Psychology studies?

You seem to be using Psychology studies as though you think it's a threat... but saying such only makes you look silly, and further makes you look even MORE illiterate than you were already looking.

Me, I have used my Psychology studies to improve my writing. But you, how exactly does saying you've studies Psychology improve your writing skills.

>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.

Thank you.

A common mistake beginner writers make and one you are making a lot of in this email, is writing overly complex sentences in an attempt to sound more authoritative. Just stop trying to sound authoritative. Be yourself. Waving your Psychology studies around like a threat just makes you look like an idiot. It doesn't give you any sense of authority. It just proves that you are scared of psychiatrists and using your own fear to try to scare others. You fear doctors looking into your mind, so you are trying to scare your critics by using your fears against them.

Newsflash, intelligent people aren't scared of psychiatrists. Actual studies in actual Psychology journals have proven that fear of psychiatrists exists almost exclusively among the uneducated, poor, and welfare bums... the same groups prone to conspiracy theories and believing in aliens or demons.

People who ACTUALLY KNOW Psychology studies, also know that only uneducated welfare bums who devote their lives to conspiracy theories, use things like "I studied Psychology" as a threat.

Sorry, but by saying this, you've made yourself look EVEN MORE ILLITERATE and EVEN MORE UNEDUCATED, than had already looked BEFORE you said this.

You ain't winning any prizes for making yourself look educated.

>>>And yes, just send me a chat message and we can do something about the sample. I think I need to have confidence in myself, but I by no means think I'm better than everyone, especially when art is subjective.

Sample?

What sample?

Did you send a sample of your work to someone and they gave you feedback and this answer is you responding to them but you sent it to the wrong person?

You act like you think I've read your manuscript, but, you never sent one to me.

And if you had, I would have burned it.

I'm NOT a manuscript reading service.

And not writer worth publishing uses a manuscript reading service either. Nor do they use beta readers or alpha readers.

Beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services exist for one reason and one reason only: to scam authors out of their money.

The ONLY people who advice writers to use beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services are the beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services THEMSELVES.

Every article, every blog post, every forum post, everything that tells a writer they MUST have a  beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services is written by  beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services trying to convince authors they need these things when they don't.

Beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services WILL NOT help you get published, nor will they help you develop better writing skills.

If you REALLY want to develop better writing skills, you don't ask some know nothing teenaged brat on FIVVER to beta read your manuscript. Do you REALLY think they know grammar or good writing, when they are barely old enough to be out of diapers?

Grow up and stop falling for scams. 

If you REALLY want to develop better writing skills, you do what professional do: you go to college and you get a degree in English Grammar.

You can run you ass around online, getting thousands of kids to read your work, but all they will do it fan or ego or dish out hate. They will not help you become a better writer, They will not help you improve your grammar. They will not help you get published.

The only thing they do is get paid by you to read your book for free, and that is their motive.

They don't care about helping you.

No.

They just want to get paid to read books for free.

They don't want to be bothered with paying $10 to buy a book, when they can charge stupid, brain dead, desperate wannabe authors $50 to to send them a free copy.

Use your brain.

In the publishing industry, if someone is charging you, chances are high they are scamming you.

Money goes TO the author, not away from the author.

And chat message?

Do you even have any clue who you have sent this email too?

I don't chat with anyone on any platform. Especially not strangers like you.

Art is subjective, yes. Grammar is not.

>>>I don't have to prove anything to anyone. But some part of me is glad you did it, now I know. I think it's better to just stop asking social media...

No, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. This is true.

But I didn't ask you to prove anything, nor would I. It's not in my nature to talk that way. This email is unsolicited. You are a random stranger who sent it to me out of the blue. And you act like I asked you to send it.

I find myself very confused by your email in general and lines like this in particular.

Asking someone to prove something is a childish, immature thing to do. Adults don't do that. Cry babies do that.

Asking someone to prove something, is you very simply accusing that person of lying.

In my experience, the only people who say "so prove it" are people who are themselves chronic liars and are incapable of believing anything any one says because nothing they themselves say is true.

I also live in Maine, a region that punishes lies by cutting out tongues.

No one in their right mind would dare tell a lie around here. And therefore, you never hear any one here ask someone else to prove anything.

It sounds like you were talking to an American.

Americans have a culture of endless lies, to the point that they constantly say "And I ain't lying" or "Honestly" or "Not gonna lie" every time they tell the truth. Telling the truth is such a rare phenomena in America, that they never believe anything, because they know they can't trust an American to tell the truth.

I'm not an American so stop talking to me like I'm one of the degraded, lying ass pieces of shit.

But, what is it you are glad I did?

Again, you aren't making any sense and you sound drunk, and again, I think you've sent this email to the wrong person.

>>>And the thing about people's point is that people would form a judgement before reading the work, then one after reading the work, then another after reading my other styles. The outcomes is usually positive.

Yet again you have jumped topics.

Please stop thinking half of your thoughts in your head and only writing the next half down. It's impossible to understand what you are talking about when you don't say everything you are thinking.

>>>How easy it is for people to flip flop and assume things when they have almost no context (and the downvotes I get, just for expressing my views, show that).

Downvotes? 

Did you make a YouTube video and it got more dislikes than likes? What are you talking about?

I can see why that editor called you illiterate.

Damn!

And speaking of flip flopping... what exactly do you call what you are doing in this email?

You say you want to develop better writing skills, but than you flip flop back and forth between saying you are the best and saying you never said that, right after you say that.

You say you want to develop better writing skills, but than you flip flop back and forth between saying you are not illiterate while writing in the most amount of illiteracy you can muster.

You say you want to develop better writing skills, but than you flip flop back and forth between saying your story is art and doesn't need changing, to saying you want advice on how to change it.

You talk about flip flopping, but YOU are the one doing the flip flopping.

Try looking in the mirror.

Can you see what the problem is yet?

The problem is you.

Yes, you ARE the problem.

You ask for advice, than when people give you advice, you bite their hand and say they were being mean to you, when all they were trying to do was help you.

YOU are shitty person with a shitty personality and I pity any fool who takes it upon themselves to try to teach a shit bag like you how to do anything, but you are the type of person who is completely unteachable.

Your novel, is NOT the problem. And I can say that without having seen it, without knowing anything about it, because it's clear through your email that the problem is you.

You in arrogance, you are asking for help with your novel, but did it ever occur to you, that you spent so much time bitching about a TOR editor calling you illiterate that you FORGOT to send the manuscript you are asking for help with?

Sorry, but I can read your manuscript ad give you pointers on where to improve it, when you never even sent it to me.

And that again, shows you are the problem, because again, this email sounds as though it is the follow up to you having already set the manuscript to someone and them already replying to you, and you replying back to them, but you also being so damned drunk out of your mind that you couldn't be bothered to check that you sent it to the right person.

Talk about being unprofessional.

If you keep going at this rate, you'll find yourself being blacklisted by every publisher and editor on the planet.

>>>I like criticism as it allows me ample perspective into my world, and how I can apply it to make it even better. And I have been applying it, and it feels good to be able to think about the work.

Wow, how bi-polar are you?

Yes, taking critics words and improving your work is a good thing. So why don't you do it? Why are you writing this crap feast email when you could be working on developing better writing skills?

>>>So when someone recommended books and authors, I was appreciative of their comment. I even said thanks but even that was downvoted lmao.

Uhm... okay?

Did someone recommend books and authors to you?

It wasn't me, so again, I'm thinking you've made a fool of yourself here, sending this email to me instead of whom you wanted to read it.

lmao is a very unprofessional thing to put in an email to a professional, when you are looking for professional advice on getting your foot into a professional career.

>>>But people giving me general advice I already know, doesn't add much. And when I try to give my view, it's like I'm automatically wrong. And no, I'm not taking social media seriously. And I write both for myself and others, so I'm always trying to reach a balance that's best for us, but I also don't want to lose the reason I write.

Uhm... okay?

Again, I've given you no advice, so this email seems miss-mailed. But now that you've sent me this email, I will give you advice.

My advice?

You're a whinny, annoying brat. Grow up.

General advice you already know, doesn't add much?

Okay.

I don't know what general advice you were given, but, honey, chances are high that you NEEDED that advice, that's WHY it was given to you.

Just because you already know something, doesn't make the advice bad when someone tells you what you already know.

Why?

Because the general advice you already know is often the advice you need the most, because it's probably the thing you are not doing, simply because you think you are too good for the basics.

I've seen many do this. Basic grammar skills are tossed aside and than they wonder why their manuscript was rejected. Than people online read the manuscript to offer advice, and every one tells him that the story is great but the grammar sucks and is borderline illiterate, and the manuscript only needs to have basic grammar fixed. But he goes psycho meltdown saying his grammar is perfect, he won't fix it, he's not illiterate, fuck everyone, the basic advice to fix his grammar is not helpful, so he says, as he pouts away, refusing to fix his basic errors, so he goes the rest of his life unpublished because he is too arrogant to fix basic errors.

I've not seen your manuscript, but I've seen your email, and your grammar IS illiterate and you ARE making very basic errors, so I'm not surprised people are giving you general advice.

Have you not considered that the REASON so many people are giving you general advice may possibly be because you NEED that advice?

Just because you know something, doesn't mean you are putting it into practice.

>>>I was just wondering how others express their style. But so far, I've seen people struggle with their works and then give critique like they're perfect, it's just a sad situation. People don't even know my background.

Uhm... okay?

What does your background got to do with anything you've said in this email?

If you want people to know your background, than tell them.

It's on you if they don't know. You've no one to blame but yourself if you didn't tell them.

>>>I was just wondering how others express their style. 

I said the before, but I'm gonna ask again: Have you ever once read a novel in your entire life? It really sounds like you haven't.

You'd KNOW how others express their style if you were reading novels.

Every author has a unique style and they express it quite well. And this is simple basic knowledge that is known by EVERYONE who reads novels.

It sounds to me like you don't like to read novels, yet you want to write a novel. 

While you CAN get published having not read novels, you'll find it rather difficult to achieve.

If you were constantly reading novels, you would know what's been done before and how others have done it, you would know the standards readers of each genre expect to see, and you would know WHY stepping outside of those standards is not the best road to take.

I know you don't want to hear general basic advice, but, the best way to developing better writing skills, really is to just read, read, read, read, read, and read some more. 

Read new releases. Read obscure out of print books from the 1950s to 1970s. Read smutt. Read the classics. Read trash with bad reviews. Read bestsellers with glowing reviews. Read every genre: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Romance, Woman's Fiction, ChickLit, Gothics, Bizarro, Horror, Westerns, Adventure, Mysteries, and more. If you don't want to read novels, than read short stories, they come in all the same flavours as novels do.

Read EVERYTHING. Read the good. Read the bad. Read the ugly.

And take notes.

Why did you like this one and not that one?

What was it that made you not finish this one here? What was it that made you not able to put that on there down?

The best writers out there are also the biggest readers out there.

If you ain't reading, you WILL struggle with your writing.

Believe me, it SHOWS in your writing, if you are well read or not, and your writing tells me that you don't read. You'd have way better grammar if you did. If you were well read, you'd know how incredibly illiterate your writing really is.

Here have a few...

>>>I was just wondering how others express their style. But so far, I've seen people struggle with their works and then give critique like they're perfect, it's just a sad situation. 

You ARE aware that not many published authors are online critiquing new writers, right?

People struggling with their works, are generally people like you, who are too arrogant to take advice, scuff at advice they think is beneath them, and... wait... didn't you say you like to edit the work of others but you are yourself struggling to get published.

>>> I've seen people struggle with their works and then give critique like they're perfect, it's just a sad situation.

Look in the mirror much?

Yes, it IS a sad situation, especially when you can see it in others but you can't see it in yourself.

You are doing the very thing you are complaining about others doing.

Did you not notice that?

>>>I think it came out well. My writing experience has been very different.

Why? How?

You say it is different, but is it.

I can guarantee MINE is different. But are YOU, really so different than you think. You say nothing to support this, and I'm left to wonder, why you feel different, when chances are high you are not.

I'm the founder of the Proctor and Gamble Boycott. Did you know that?

Did you also know I was completely unaware I had founded it until nearly 30 years after I had done so?

I am EelKat, the one and only, Voice of the Voiceless.

Did you not research me BEFORE you contacted me?

You should have.

You REALLY should have.

Let's talk about recent events on Twitch. About a vile woman who discovered how different I really was and thought it was a funny thing to make jokes about.

And how I came to be the founder of The Proctor and Gamble Boycott.

I'm the author of a series that spans 130 novels, celebrates it's 42 anniversary this year, and feature an Elf Wizard main character. I have a 4 decade long love affair with Elven Wizards no matter where I find them.

And people wonder what the hell? Why did you get so crazy obsessed over Avallac'h?

* I love Elves.

* I love wizards.

* I hate torture.

* I have an actual medical diagnosis of having a Florence Nightingale Personality Disorder

*  I have an actual medical diagnosis of having Kanner's Syndrome

*  I have an actual medical diagnosis of having Severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

* I'm the founder of The Procter & Gamble Boycott, meaning vivisection is a pet peeve of mine that I fought 27 years of my life to eradicate

* I really hate torture in all forms but vivisection is the worst of all because it's how P&G killed my 2 dogs.

And the game Witcher 3 decided to drop a dying, vivisected, comatose Elf wizard, strapped to a torture table in my path.

I really, really, really HATE vivisection, and well, you can see the end result of the game giving me a vivisected Elf wizard.

Florence Nightingale Personality Disorder: someone suffering from an innate mental and emotional need to rescue victims and heal the sick; prone to developing a strong emotional, romantic, or erotic connection toward the patient being cared for

Vivisection torture: slicing open someone's veins without anesthetics for the purpose of injecting toxins into their bloodstream.

aka

The Draize Eye Test: pouring Draino, Tide, Windex, Mr. Clean, Duracell battery fluid, and other toxic household items into the eyes of cats and dogs then counting the seconds/minutes it takes for the cleaning product to burn their eyes out of their head; on beloved family pets, lost cats and dogs, bought by Procter and Gamble from your local animal shelters. 

In the 1970s and 1980s P&G had no less than 3 animal test labs in each of all 50 states and advertised the Draize Eye Test as a way to put unwanted shelter animals to good medical use.  

I found out about it when 2 of my dogs got lost, and we traced them to an animal shelter, but it took a week for us to raise the money to buy them back and by that time P&G had already bought and killed them. 

I spent 27 years spreading the word of this and April 2013 P&G shut down all of their animal test labs and today are a animal-friendly company.

In a time long before the internet or social networking existed, I gathered together the support and backing of some of the world's largest corporations, politicians, including American presidents, and demanded an all out full stop on the sales of every product made by P&G, until they shut down their animal test labs. 

I hand wrote and mailed out 21,000 letters that first year. Then took secretarial typing, trained to reach a typing speed of 175 words per minute and increased my output by typing those letters.

No, not a class. I never went to school. I was caged since I was 8. My grandmother gave me a textbook on secretarial typing and typewriter, so I could increase my output of letters that she mailed... though I never knew where she mailed them.

Over the course of 27 years I typed up millions of letters, and gained a following of 300 million (three hundred million) people to type up letters with me. Though I did not know it at the time. I was alone. No access to news, TV, none of those things. Grammy Eva mailed the letters. She was the source of the addresses of politicians and businesses... not me. I only wrote the letters. Only this and nothing more.

I was 31 years old before I had the world outside of the clan. So I had no idea, for all those years, just how big of an impact all my hundreds of thousands of letters had, had on the world, on society. 

Unlike the Social Justice warriors of today, whose only real goal is 15 minutes of fame and their face on TV.... I had only one motive: for someone to please, please, please let me out this cage.

They called me "The Voice of the Voiceless" and said I spoke through the eyes of the animals. They didn't know how wrong they were.

When I found out that hundreds of millions of people read my P&G letters over the course of those 27 years I spent locked in a cage... it was heart breaking for me to see, what they THOUGHT those letters were, verse what those letters ACTUALLY were.

They thought the letters were fictional. They thought I was pretending to be a rat, locked in a cage, in an animal test lab, begging to be let out.

Nothing could have been further from the truth. And it horrified people when they found the truth.... that those letters, was not someone pretending to be an animal in a cage.... rather, those letters were written by a real, live, little girl, locked in a cage, only let on Sunday to go to church with the clan, then back in the cage, to wait for the endless line of men, who paid uncles money to rape children.

So many millions of people read my P&G letters, and mistakenly thought I was demanding animals be released from cages, when in fact, I was begging for someone to release me from a cage.

It speaks volumes.... how far, so many millions of people twisted my words, and used my words.... animal test labs were shut down in the name of EelKat Voice of the Voiceless, but not one of them, ever thought to locate the child behind the letters and find out, why she wrote so many millions of letters all begging for one thing: Please help me! Please let me out of this cage.

I wrote those letters for 27 years and no one ever helped me.

The FBI raid wasn't there for the children. They didn't even know we existed They found us while they were there. The FBI raid was for Heaven's Gate. The religious group my uncles belonged to. 39 people died in California, so many miles away from Maine. But the FBI raides every one of the Heaven's Gate Compounds trying to find out who know about the 39 murders in California... and that's how they found us children, now adults.... and world found out how wrong they were, in thinking the P&G letters was someone writing, the letters as though they were written by animals in cages. The discovery that the author of the P&G letters WAS in fact locked in a cage.... was the shock wave, that brought down the P&G Boycott and made people step back and look at how far, they had mistranslated my letters.

A child, locked in a cage, tortured, starved, and vivisected, was writing letters BEGGING FOR HELP... letters always signs "EelKat"... and the world, was so in furry, to rescue animals, they hundreds of millions of people were able to read those letters, and incorrectly assume, they were written by an adult, pretending to be an animal locked in a cage.

And those tens of millions of people, were so driven to rescue animals, that the child writing those letters, never received help and was never let out of the cage, until 27 years later, when her uncles who kept her prisoner, finally got involved with something big enough to bring in the FBI: Heaven's Gate and the murder of 39 people.

And so while, I eventually gained my freedom.... it wasn't because someone ever gave enough of a shit about me to want to help me. It was because, I happened to be found, while the FBI was looking for something else.

So no one ever did try to help me. Why? Because they were too busy with their own agendas.

Too busy rescuing animals to rescue a child.

I inaccurately get branded as an animal rights activist because of those letters I wrote.

Why?

Because people could see past their own thoughts to think that I might not have been what they thought I was.

#YOU<<<thinking about animals in cages when I was asking to be let out of a cage DOES NOT mean I was asking you to rescue animals from cages!

#I SAY WHAT I MEAN, AND MEAN EXACTLY WHAT I SAY!

#THERE ARE NO HIDDEN MEANING IN MY WORDS! 

#THERE NEVER HAS BEEN! 

#AND THERE NEVER WILL BE!

There is no slang, no hidden meanings, no memes, no jokes, no riddles, no pretending .... I have Kanner's Syndrome ACTUAL AUTISM.... not Aspergers. Look it up.

People had it in their heads already that they wanted to rescue animals... they just used my letters as an excuse to take action.

BUT NOT A DAMNED ONE OF THEM TOOK THE ACTION THE LETTERS ASKED FOR: 

#LET ME OUT OF MY CAGE! 

#STOP THEM FROM SLICING MY ARMS AND POURING DRAINO INTO ME!

#LOOK AT THE SCARS ON MY ARMS! LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO ME! DAILY FOR YEARS!

#NO BODY KNOWS THE PAIN OF VIVISECTION TORTURE BETTER THEN I DO!

#AND NO ONE EVER THOUGHT TO HELP ME BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY USING MY LETTER TO SHUT DOWN ANIMAL TEST LABS!

My most radical followers went to extremes blocking delivery trucks from entering store parking lots, taking ice picks to any product on store shelves with P&G on the label, slapping stickers with pictures of cats and dogs still alive with their eyes burned out on the bottles of Draino, and throwing buckets of blood on customers coming out of stores with P&G products in their shopping carts. 

I found out about those things happening years later as I was 31 years old before I ever went outside. Going outside wasn't allowed and my hatred for the animals in cages was more my own cry to be let out of cage then anything else. I only wrote the letters. My grandmother snuck paper in for me to write and mailed the letters. The uncles didn't know. They would have beaten her and moved me to a smaller cage if they had. It shocked people after the FBI raid, when they found out, the girl who wrote the P&G letters, did so while locked in a cage, smaller and less sanitary than the cages the lab animals were in.

I hate cages. I hate them alot. It comes from 27 years locked in one.

I hate vivisection torture... a HUGE LOT... and I've got the scars on my arms and legs, to show you why.

People mistake me for an animal rights activist because of all the P&G letters. They are wrong. I wasn't screaming to let those animals out in those letters.... I I was screaming to be let myself.... and the FBI raid, the P&G letters to a back burner to shutting down every other child prostitution ring my uncles ran, and letting all the girls out of their cages. THAT was my main focus of the P&G letters. But few remember that... they mostly remember that a 12 year old girl went head to head with the largest monopoly in America, and won... and did it all while locked in a cage, sleeping in feces, going 12 days between being thrown food.... my letters went down in history, people calling me "The Voice of the Voiceless" because they said I wrote those letters as though I was one of those animals being tortured in a cage.... and after the FBI raid, they found out how damned true that was.

And still fight the bastards of the world to this day, because children don't belong in cages any more then animals do. Human trafficking takes center stage in my fight for justice today, but the P&G Boycott is the fuel that started that fire in me.

Branded as radical EcoTerrorists, The P&G Boycott was the first animal rights boycott of its kind, people rising up in mass hoards, and reached alarming levels when millions of followers rose up in every country on the planet, targeting not only P&G but EVERY company with any level of animal cruelty.  And they thought they were doing it, because they thought, letting animals out of cages, was what EelKat, Voice of the Voiceless wanted.... when all she wanted was to be let out of a cage herself.

The offline social networking of the 1970s made today's online social networking of the internet, look merger at best.

The P&G Boycott spread like a plague across the planet throughout the 1970s and 1980s.

The P&G Boycott shut down the animal test labs of P&G, Estee Lauder, and Avon, while getting the words "not tested on animals" on products in the stores, and spawning it's even more radical spin off organization PETA.

The P&G Boycott was both the first and the largest Social Justice Warrior movement in history and is why we have SJWs today.

I was dubbed by my tens of millions of followers as "The Voice of The Voiceless" and since the FBI raid that finally let me out of my cage... I went on to found dozens of other boycotts, including to get the law passed that allowed LGBTQA+ citizens in America the right to own businesses.

Today we (now elderly, but still going) P&G Boycotters are currently fighting for the rights of transgender citizens and that is why I own The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus, that is what you see me going to conventions in.

And it all started with the vivisection murder of 2 dogs. An Irish Setter named Sarge and a Springer Spaniel named Bridget. The first letter I wrote.... That one went to Proctor & Gamble. It was the only one that went to them. And all it said:

*Why did you kill my dogs? They were the only friends I had. I had no one else to talk to from my cage.*

They sent me back a $10 package of coupons. A lot of good that did me.

I devoted 27 years of my life to eradicating vivisection torture from the planet... mostly because I just wanted it to stop being done to me.

Nothing is going to light a fire under my ass faster than vivisecting someone.

So... seeing Avallac'h vivisected in the Trial of Grasses, REALLY hit a nerve with me, big time, resulting in, the Avallac'h obsession you see today.

Do you have any idea how much vivisection hurts?

I do.

I lived through it for years.

I hate torture.

You can't even begin to imagine how very, very, very much I hate torture. I was tortured for decades, by monstrous uncles. And I can't stand to see any one tortured.

I've seen other torture scenes in other games, but not vivisection. They vivisected Avallac'h. Vivisection is something I know far too well.

That why I hate things like BDSM and bondage fetishes and dominatrixes so much.

Those things are people play acting torture.... but I guarantee, if they were ever really tortured, they'd never play act it again. They'd run screaming from it. Horrified.

Torture is not a game. BDSM and bondage fetishes and dominatrixes - those things shouldn't exist, because those things inspire vile perverted men to torture children.

I can't even begin to imagine, how horrible a person you would have to be, to like something BDSM and bondage fetishes and dominatrixes. Why would anyone want to take part in pretend torture? Do they not know, how much real torture hurts? 

The mere mention of torture sends nightmares through my brain, bringing back old memories of the torture I went through at the hands of my uncles.

The Ugly Baby quest. It's a torture scene. And it triggered my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, really bad.

Had they not been vivisecting him in this scene.... I probably would have finished the game, and moved on to our next scheduled game: American Truck Simulator, followed by Skyrim, and FallOut4.

The vivisection scene is why, when we got to the end, instead of playing the next game as scheduled, we replayed Witcher 3, to go back and pay closer attention to this quest (Ugly Baby)... and at the same time we did that, there was a kidnapping and murder in my family, and for some reason, somehow, my brain focused on healing Avallac'h as a way to cope with the murder trial, lawyers, and court dates that became my daily offline life from May 2015 to October 2016.

June 2016, the 3, still unidentified attackers who broke my spine and hip November 2013, (and who are suspected of also being the kidnappers and murderers) returned and did it again, this time damaging my spinal column and doctors can't operate, they say it's too dangerous. Leaving me bedridden.

When the murder trial ended at a stand still because the murderer is not yet identified.... and family members I normally would have played games with weren't there because their heads had been nailed to my door... I just replayed Witcher 3 a third time instead of doing anything else.

Avallac'h had not yet taken center stage...

...and had I not been beaten, crippled, and bedridden just before reading the novels, he probably wouldn't have.

I read the novels near the end of my 3rd playthrough and, the rape scene on page 179 of Lady of the Lake, the scene that leaves Avallac'h brutally beaten, and crippled the rest of his life... with injuries nearly identical to my own... hit yet another nerve with me.... and this time a much bigger nerve then the vivisecting scene had hit.

There were other things too. The baby was another big one. I know what it is to want a baby. To lose a baby. Several parts of chapter 5 of Lady of the Lake, were hitting way too close to home with real life events of my life, each one of them drawing me to empathize with Avallac'h even more.

The vivisection started it is, the baby kept it going, and page 179 really drove the nail home.

Had he not been vivisected in the game, had his desire for baby not been so strong, and had he not been beaten and crippled in the novels... you probably wouldn't be seeing my Avallac'h Playthrough today, because those  events are what inspired me to make the Avallac'h Mod and play the game the way you see me playing it today.

The problem here is... there's been any one I could identify with. How many people do you know who were locked in a cage for 27 years and continually vivisected? I don't have anyone I can talk to about it, because no one understands what it is like, because no one else ever went through it and lived. Worst Child Abuse Case in American History, that what people called it.  It's a thing so rare, that the only person I can find, who knows what it's like to go through it.... isn't even real. He's a fictional character.... Do you know what that's like?

And then people like ThingyChan come along and think it's fun to take the abuse and torture I went through and make jokes and memes about it. Calling me a BDSM Dominatrix with fetishes.... doing that behind my back, while pretending to be my friend, for the full 2 years she did it.

And what happened because of what she did? She had so many people convinced that I was a deviated sex freak, that a big streamer took to raiding my Twitch channel with the raid message "deserve to be raped".

And if that wasn't bad enough, she had people so convinced that I was the BDSM dominatrix she was lying and telling I was, that 5 men showed up at my house to gang rape me. Wasn't that nice of her?

ThingyChan, OutsideLane, Zutrix, and NivanaRavenBum  making 200+ VODs and posting 2,000+ Discord posts calling me a dominatrix, saying I was into bondage, BDSM, and foot fetishes, resulted in some incredibly perverted, immoral, deviated men showing up at my house expecting to have sex with me, expecting to find me willing to throw myself on them, expecting they could do anything they wanted to me. 

Do you know why my family moved February 2019? 

At the time I was staying with my dad on his 3rd floor apartment, in a building that had 28 families in it.

To get in the building you have to go through a front entry hall, go through 2 separate sets of doors, and then find your way through the halls and stairways to find which apartment you are looking for.

Because a group of 5 men showed up at 2AM one night. They broke BOTH the 2 front doors off and threw them out into the street. 

They made their way up the stairs, punched the glass and screens out of every window they passed on their way.

With baseball bats they smashed up all o the posts on the stair railings, broke the railings off the stairs and threw them out a window onto one o the resident's cars below.

The ripped the front door off the apartment next door to mine, went into that apartment and gang raped the 2 young mothers (sisters) who lived there with their 2 and 4 year old babies.

After that they went back outside, smashing the walls on their way down, pulling out electrical wiring and plumbing pipes as they went.

Once outside they proceeded to trash the 3 cars parked in the driveway, one of them being my Dazzling Razzberry. They used their bats to smash out the glass, and smash up the metal.

 They did more then $230,000 in damages to our landlord's building, put 2 women in the hospital, put my 82 year old dad in the hospital with a ruptured kidney,  left 28 families homeless, and totaled 3 cars, including my car which they did $30,000 in damages to.

They told the police officers who arrested them, that they were told they could find a "BDSM Gang Bang Dominatrix" living in this building. They said they found posts on Discord that claimed I had an open invitation for men to do this. At the time, I didn't know they were talking about ThingyChan's Discord.

EVERYBODY in the building had to move because the damages were so bad that the city condemned the building.

Go watch the fucking VOD... I was streaming when they showed up. We got the damned thing recorded on camera.

We had half the police in the state of Maine show up because so many of my viewers were calling the police from all over the damned fucking planet.

#I live Maine, USA. After the arrest, the police department said they had calls coming in from Finland, Germany, and Australia, reporting a massive gang attack happening live on stream!

#Yeah... that damn attack happened while I was streaming Witcher 3 and my viewers all saw it happen.

#THAT IS THE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE SEX LIES THINGYCHAN WAS SPREADING ABOUT ME ON TWITCH AND DISCORD LYING ABOUT ME SAYING I WAS A BDSM DOMINATRIX AND TELLING PEOPLE I WAS INTO BONDANG AND BDSM AND THAT IT WAS FUCKING OKAY TO COME TO MY HOUSE LOOKING FOR GANG BANGS!!!!!!

Discord and Twitch BOTH have ToS policies stating you may not make videos or posts that...

*is threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, libelous, deceptive, fraudulent, invasive of another’s privacy, tortious, offensive, profane, pornographic or obscene, or promotes hate or incites violence; or misrepresents the source, identity* 

ThingyChan, OutsideLane, Zutrix, and Niv did a hell of a lot of all of the above in their 200+ Twitch VODs and 2,000+ Discord posts about me, defaming my character, slandering my name, making pornographic and obscene statements about me, misrepresenting me and my identify, causing an invasion of my privacy by inciting hate crimes and violence.

I am deeply distressed by this. 

And why did they do this?

I do not know.

Asking them why they did it, I got no answers other than they were "just having some fun" and "we was just fooling around, can't you take a joke?"

A joke?

You seriously... you call raping 2 young mothers, crippling an 82 year old man, killing a small boy, trashing 3 cars, and doing $230,000 in damages to a medical apartment building leaving 28 families homeless... A FUCKING JOKE!!!!!

What the hell is wrong with you people!

This is harassment on extreme levels of insanity!

Harassment is NOT a joke!

Rape is NOT a joke!

Vandalism is NOT a joke!

You people sure have a sick sense of what a "joke" is!

I'm asexual, a minister, have PTSD from having been been raped before... I'm bedridden and crippled from a gang of 3 strangers attacking me with baseball bats in a WalMart parking lot... the last thing I want is anything to do with sex, BDSM, or bondage. What the fuck is wrong with her spreading those malicious gossiping slanderous rumors and lies about me?

And she fucking sent those bastards to my house!

You're annoyed by my playthrough? Well, I'm annoyed by the daily dozens of emails telling me how pissed off you are.

And for those wondering: 

#How many people have contacted me? How many Ciri fans have reached out to say how pissed off they are?

The number is astounding, and way higher then the total amount of views my channel has (62, 000).

Here on Twitch, since May 13, 2018, I have received hate filled chat comments and whisper messages from 7,000+ different Twitch usernames. Many of those being death threats, included 712 Death Threats being posted in my chat, just in a single month (September 2018)

However, you can find screenshots from the Avallac'h Playthrough on nearly every social media platform out there: FaceBook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Reddit, Nexus, Instagram, MySpace, LinkedIn, Blogger, WordPress, LiveJournal, and more.... in total 3.4 million usernames follow me in these places.

And though those social networks, I recieve well over 1,000 hate messages from enraged Ciri fans EVERY MONTH.... in total more than 21,000 enraged Ciri fans have contacted me through the social networks.

My website, where you can find the very NSFW nude screenshots from the sex quests that never streamed on Twitch... each image of nude Ciri with nude Avallac'h gets 50,000 to 70,000 views each month. And to contact me from there, you contact via email.

The images they are referring too, I can not post here on Twitch to show you. But I can tell you I have mods that both Ciri and Avallac'h functioning - FUNCTIONING - genitals. And it's THOSE pictures that result in the biggest, longest, most ernage, most infuriated,most hate filled emails of all.... more than 20,000 of them EVERY MONTH.

#In total, since May 13, 2018 I have received hate messages, hate comments, and hate emails from an astounding more than 300,000 different email addresses.

Ask me again why I had to turn chat off here on Twitch?

One thing The Avallac'h Playthrough has taught me is that the bulk of Ciri's fans (not Witcher fans in general - JUST fans of Ciri herself) are obnoxious, deranged, psychotic, violent, hostile men in their 30s, who can not tell the difference between fantasy and reality, believe Ciri is the ACTUAL REAL WORLD wife, and are very vocal about how much they really, really, really hate Avallac'h a lot *(usually for "touching my wife/waifu" as they put it)* and want to kill me, for posting pictures of Ciri and Avallac'h as a couple.

With the level of hostility these men use in contacting me *(a bedridden, crippled, elderly woman)*, I'd hate to see what would happen if you tossed a few of these men in the same room together.... they would most definitely kill each other, because they clearly can't tolerate any "competition for Ciri's affections" (as they term it.

I think the most frightening part of all, is that these men are so deranged, so mentally unstable, that they are unaware Ciri IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Some of them have gone so far as to talk of things they do with Ciri with take her on dates, and how enranged they are to learn that she's been sneaking off with Avallac'h, behind their backs.

Yeah. A surprisingly large amount of the emails, read like that: these are not normal fans. These are clearly mentally disturbed people who are not taking their meds and desperately need to.

And my guess, quite a few of them are former mental institution patients who are walking free only because the hospital they used to be straight jacketed in got shut from lack of government funding.

But damn.... it's not a few.... more then 300,000 of these enraged, hate filled men who believe Ciri is real and is their wife, have contacted me with their vehement hatred for not only Avallac'h, but also for me, for putting Ciri with Avallac'h in the pictures I post online.

That's a REALLY BIG number.

And the bulk of them include the phrase "I'm so pissed off" alongside "poor Ciri". While more than half of them include various death threats.

I don't get it. Is there some sort of internet meme going around, I don't know about, that says if you are talking about Ciri, you have to start every post, comment, email, etc you write with the phrase: "I'm so pissed off"?

That alongside what Claudia did, sending those men to my house, it's very difficult to even want to go on. Especially with the destruction of my car. It took me 4 years to build that car. I wasn't crippled then. My muscles had not started deteriorating yet. I could stand there for hours painting and gluing marbles. I did. It took me 4 years working 8 hours a day, to glue those 2.5 million marbles to that car.

And all that work gone, destroyed by hate mongers. Why did Claudia send those men to my house?

I don't understand what was going through her mind.

Why would you do something like that?

She told them I was a BDSM Dominatrix looking for a gangbang rape and sent them to my house. She thought it would make for a funny joke. Raping 2 women, the attempted murder of an elderly man, totalling 3 cars, and 28 families becoming homeless because the city condemned the apartment building because of the $230,000 in damages.... that's a hell of a BIG "joke". I'm not laughing am I? I see what Claudia did as funny at all.

A lot of people got hurt. How is that funny?

Three people almost died. Tell me how that is funny?

Twenty-eight families were made homeless. Why do you think that is funny?

Because it's something Ciri would do? Yeah, you're right. It IS something Ciri would do. But Ciri's not real. Ciri is a fictional character. 

And Avallac'h, who you hate so much, he's not real either. 

But those people who got hurt at 27 High Street in Biddeford, Maine.... those people who almost died... those people who lost their cars... those people who lost their home... They were real. They are real. 

Those 2 women that got BDSM gang raped by the men Claudia sent to our house... they were young girls in their 20s, sisters sharing an apartment, both with a baby, one 2 years old the other 4 years old. Military wives. Their husbands overseas.

Those 28 families... one was an elderly couple in their 80s taking care of their quadriplegic son. 

Another was a couple, whose wife was bedridden and on oxygen life support.

Another was a couple with 5 children, struggling to make ends meet... one of their sons has Leukemia... or he did... he's dead now.

And you know what? He might still be alive if his family hadn't been homeless for 2 weeks without access to proper care for him

Think about THAt.... especially you Claudia, because you are the one who told those 5 men they could come to my house and find me a BDSM dominatrix waiting for them. Proud of sex lies about me now? A little boy DIED because of you. You know that makes you? A child murderer by proxy. Can you live with yourself, knowing a little boy died because you spread lies about a crippled elderly woman telling men to go to her house to get BDSM bondage sex?

Have you noticed a trend?

It was a medical building. An apartment just outside of the hospital, that house critically crippled patents and their families.

I'm crippled. I need the help of nurse to take a bath, use the toilet, and to get out of bed and sit up here at the computer to stream. Yeah, it's that bad. That's why I lived there.

Children dying from cancer, housed next door to the hospital so their families could be with them during their long months of chemo. They lived there too.

You made them homeless.

Crippled elderly and crippled children. 

You beat them up, raped them, destroyed their cars, and destroyed the building they lived in.

Real, live, crippled elderly and crippled children, beaten, raped, and made homeless, because you want to fuck Ciri's fictional ass.

Are you proud of what you did?

Your little "joke", your little Avallac'h hating, Ciri glorifying, let's rape every body and smash and trash their house.... Do you know how sick that makes you?

And you sent them to my house, telling them that I was a BDSM dominatrix.

Do you even know WHO THE HELL I AM?

I am an ordained Marija Loa!

It's a type of CATHOLIC NUN!

Marija Loa.... it means married to god.

I am an ordained minister, a priestess, my rank and title being Medsen Fey Marija Loa to Damballah Weddo, in service to Erzulie Freda and Erzulie Dantor.

I was ordained a Medsen Fey in 2003 and I'm one of only 3 nuns in the United States to become Marija Loa, which happened in 2013.

It's a fucking rank in the Catholic Church!

Voodoo is a branch of the Catholic Church. 

To be ordained a minister in the Voodoo religion you are ordained by Catholic priests.

Hungans, Mambos, Medsen Fey, Marija Loa - they are Haitian words meaning Priest, Nun, Father Superior, Mother superior.

You are spreading sex rumors and sex lies about a damned nun!

Think about THAT.

Marija Loa.

A type of NUN!

Do you know what a nun is? 

A nun is a woman who is married to God. Yes, as in there is an actual wedding, with wedding dress and marriage vows. She remains celibate. Sex is not a part of her life. No men are allowed to touch her. 

Are you starting to see, how damn EVIL you are Claudia for spreading lies that someone like me was a BDSM dominatrix!

You sent gang bang rapists to the home of a Catholic Nun telling them that she was a BDSM Dominatrix!

Do you know ow many levels of HELL there are for you Claudia!

The absence of the car vlogs is worse than you know. I can't walk anymore, but I could drive. My car was my only ability to get outside, my only contact with people at all outside of Twitch. And with chat having to be shut off due to the hate... I have no one to talk to at all now.

The enraged Ciri fans are not just attacking online. A group of them showed up at my house. They nearly killed 2 of my neighbours, my 82 year old dad, they totaled 3 cars including mine, and left 28 families homeless after doing $230,000 in damages to the apartment building we was living in then. 

Why?

Because you are so delusional, that you believe Ciri is you REAL, ACTUAL wife, cheating on you with Avallac'h, because I have pictures of them together on my FaceBook?

What is wrong with you people?

Ciri is NOT your wife. And not she's not cheating on you with Avallac'h. And do you know why?

Because Ciri and Avallac'h are NOT real.

It's just a game and these are fictional characters. Don't you know that?

Why are you people doing this?

I've never done anything to hurt any of you.

What is wrong with you?

You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Not just the 5 of you who showed up at my house, not just the 712 who were chanting "deserve to be raped in my Twitch chat", but every single damned one of you. All 300,000+ of you who have sent me emails telling me how pissed off you are, and poor Ciri this and poor Ciri that, all your death threats, and all you stupid jackassery.

Every damned one of you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Have you really got nothing better to do with your lives then send hate mail to a crippled, bedridden elderly woman?

Would you do to your grandmother what you do to me?

You call me obsessed with Avallac'h? Yes, that is true.... but what are you? You are far more obsessed with Ciri, than I am with Avallac'h, and while all I'm doing is playing a video game to alleviate the boredom of being bedridden and crippled, you are actually hurting people. Think about that.

Am I'm not the only one you sickos are doing this too. I'm just the only one speaking out against it.

I didn't used to be the only Witcher exclusive channel on Twitch. I didn't used to have the only heavily modded Witcher playthrough on Twitch. There were dozens of others, just a year ago. And you did the same damned thing to every one of them.

The guy who was playing the game as Radovid, the one who taught me how to build The Avallac'h mod.... the hate you sent him for doing a similar playthrough, playing as Radovid, with Lodge as travel companions, putting Phillipa as the sex quest girls... you fucking chased him off Twitch. That playthrough was amazing. Yeah, Radovid is a jackass and I can't stand hm, but hell that playthrough was awesome!

The girl playing the game as Yennefer and turning Triss into the sex girls, doing a full lesbian romance run of Yen and Triss saying fuck off to Geralt and travel the countryside together... you hate mongered her off Twitch!

Heck, the woman who was doing the Ciri run, playing the game as Ciri, using the fucking Shjall mod - the mod that turns every killable character into Avallac'h... the streamer who posts on Tumblr all those pictures of Ciri murdering Avallac'h... you even harassed her off Twitch! You ought to like her, she had Ciri killing Avallac'h every damned day! It was hysterical. I loved her streams. she found so many ways to kill Avallac'h, it was damed awesome, and now it's gone.

All the guys who were playing the game with WEE and Ghost Mode.... you hate mongered them away too.

The Legolas guy.... playing the game as Legolas; the guy playing the game as Batman, the guy playing the game as FF Cloud, the guy with Henry Cavill Geralt mods,... you chased all of them out too!

What the hell is wrong with you people?

You ain't fans of the Witcher series.

You ain't Ciri fans.

You're just a bunch of hate mongering trolls looking to destroy the Witcher modding community.

The Witcher 3 section of Nexus had 7,000+ mods in December 2018.... it has barely 2,000 mods now in 2020..... because you hate mongered the mod makers on Nexus so bad they deleted their accounts and pulled theirs mods off of Nexus.

You are hurting HUNDREDS of people.

Twitch streamers and Nexus mod makers alike.

And do you ever once step back and stop to think about who these people are, that you are attacking and hurting?

Did you ever once stop and think that you are hurting REAL people?

I can't tell you who the others you are bullying are, but I can tell you who I am:

I am an crippled, bedridden, elderly woman with no one to talk to. Alone 24 hours a day, for weeks to a time, sometimes going months between a 5 minute visit from family or friends. I have no one. And I can't get out of bed to do anything about it. It's why I play this game. 

And after playing the game several times, I started making mods for it.

And because I am crippled, bedridden, elderly woman with no one to talk to. Alone 24 hours a day, for weeks to a time, sometimes going months between a 5 minute visit from family or friends. I have no one. And I can't get out of bed to do anything about it. ... I have 24 hours a day to focus on making mods for this game and in the past 3 years I've made more than 4,000 mods for it. 

I don't have anything else in my life.

I don't have anyone in my life.

I'm alone in bed all day, all night, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, since I was attacked in a WalMart parking lot November 14, 2013, by 3 strangers with baseball bats who broke my spine, my hips, my knees, and left me crippled.

Did you think about that before clicking send on your hate? Or before getting in your car and driving all the way to my house, to lash out your hate in person?

I may be obsessed with my love for Avallac'h, but it pales in comparison to your obsession with your illogical and unwarranted hated for me, for Avallac'h, and for other mod makers in the Witcher community. 

I'm not nearly as obsessed with Avallac'h, as you are obsessed with me.

Think about that.

I'm just playing a video game.

You are destroying lives.

I'm just here playing a video game, minding my own business, not bothering anybody.

You are running around like a rabid dog looking for something to kill.

I am a gamer.

You are bully.

Maybe you ought to take a good long look in the mirror - see yourself, the way I see you: for your are pure evil.

The extreme amount of hate and the excess levels of the hate I get from this, something that I do love very much, is depressing, terrifying, and discouraging, to say the least, especially, there is never any good or kind comments and emails to offset the hate, and when there is at the same time not one single person out there who is also a fan of Avallac'h for me to talk to at all.

#The exponential increase of hate mails since the release of the Netflix series, alongside my daily worsening health is why streams are no longer daily and no longer 12 hours. 

My muscles are deteriorating, the pain in my joints is excruciating, and it is increasingly difficult for me to sit up at all, let alone get out of bed, and with the amount of hate I get thrown at me, it gets ever harder to even want try to fight against the pain in my muscles to try to stream at all, when there is little joy in streaming any more.

ThingyChan, OutsideLane, Zutrix, and Niv making 200+ VODs and posting 2,000+ Discord posts calling me a dominatrix, saying I was into bondage, BDSM, and foot fetishes, was incredibly damaging to my reputation, my career, and put my life in extreme danger.

Not only that, but what they did put 3 people in the hospital, made 28 families homeless, totaled 3 cars, and a the landlord and his family without a job. And ThingyChan, not only refused to apologize, she doesn't give a shit "because it's fun!" Well, excuse me if I don't see what is fun about being a dick and hurting people.

What the hell is with people like her? How do people get like that? 

Wasn't my life enough hell without pieces of shit like her adding more hell to it?

She's no different from my uncles. stabbing me with forks, slicing my arms with shards of a broken plate... and pouring Draino into the wounds, to watch my blood bubble and foam. 

Bastards out of hell every one of them.... my uncles and the jackes online who think it's funny to make jokes about what those bastards did to me.

Why do I like Avallac'h so damned much? Because I don't have anyone else and he was tortured with vivisection too.

And that picture here, of Avallac'h strapped down to the torture table, slipping into a coma from being vivisected while Vesimire says Avallac'h's nerves are damaged resulting in trembling fingers and frozen pupils... that's the scene that set me on the path that lead to the creation of The Avallac'h Mod.

I really, really, really hate vivisection and can't stand to see it done to someone, because it was done to me and I know how the hell much that hurts.

Yes, I am the REAL EelKat... since 1997 I make the laws for my people, pass judgments, and oversee punishments and executions.

Most famous for having taken down 13 Clan Kings of New England's infamous "Scottish Mafia" and rising up as the strictest, least lenient leader The Scottish Gypsies of New England have had since the 1530s.

Working alongside FBI agent Andy Drewer, I've sent 14 of The Scottish Mafia's worst drug lords and child prostitution ring leaders in prison since 2015.

I'm taking down every last man who tortured me. Every last man who locked me in a cage. Every last man who electrocuted me. Every last man who raped me. Every last man who beat me.

I was locked in a cage when I was 8 years old, left 10 to 12 days between meals, sleeping in feces, only let out when an American showed up with $20,000 to rape a child... and I wasn't let out until I was 31 years old when an FBI raid rescued me, and the 140+ others who had had the same thing done to them.

I took over the clan as its leader less then a year after the FBI raid and I've made sure to eliminate every last child abuser, every last drug maker, every last spouse abuser, every last drug dealer, every last rapist, and every last bastard who ever murdered a child.

No more children beaten to death, sawed up and buried in the backyard.

Never again, will they sell a 5 year old for sex.

Never again will a child starve to death while locked in a cat carrier.

Never again will they saw up a teenager and cook them in stew, feed them to the other children, then toss their bones in the swamp.

I'm taking down every last child abusing, child raping, child torturing, child murdering, cannibalistic, drug dealing, bastard among them....

...along with everyone who helped them, and everyone who thinks what they did was a good funny thing to make jokes and memes about.

And I don't stop with the bastards who tortured us children... I won't let anyone use what happened to us to make stupid ass sex memes or jokes online either.

If you ever once thought about making fun of the abuse we children went through, I will find out, I will hunt you down, and I will destroy your life.

I don't take shit from my own people so I also won't take shit from mindless, ingrate pieces of shit who try to be toxic bastards in my Twitch chat. If you want to talk to me, you better make damned sure you are worthy to even grace my presence at all... 

The smartass little stunt ThingyChan pulled is the last fucking straw. 

I can't think of anything more evil, more vile, than what ThingyChan did when she took the torture my uncles did to me and my cousins, rapists, murdered, and cannibals... they raised us like we were food!

You think that's funny!

You think something to make BDSM sex memes jokes about!

ThingyChan, you filthy piece of shit! You're as bad as they are!

Did you ever once stop and think about the shit we went through! They raised us as food, and sold our bodies to be raped by strangers while they waited for us to be tender enough to slaughter and cook!

We spent our entire childhoods, teen years, and young adult years in cages too small to fit in!

Did you know not one of us knew how to speak in human languages, but were fluent in cat and chicken, our ability to "speak" limited to hissing and clucking?

Did you know 140+ of us were classified as "feral children" and after being rescued during the FBI raid, spend more than a decade learning how to do basic things like using toilets, brushing teeth, eating with forks, and bathing?

And you think that kind of long term abuse and torture is fucking funny?

You think that's something to make jokes about!

How much did my aunt Barbie Jean pay you to make those memes? Yes, I saw her in your Discord and Twitch chat.... don't think I didn't. Along side of bastard Shem and Yvonne. You picked the wrong damned people to have your ha-ha's with... Barbie Jean, Shem, and Yvonne were front running in abusing us children, Shem is a fucking cannibal who butchered his own sisters and ate them. The FBI is actively hunting the 3 of them down right now, and your "cute little sex memes" and befriending them in your Discord, has branded you an accessory to their crimes.

Did you know Barbie Jean's husband Paul Martel went to prison for selling the bomb making parts to members of Isis, that killed dozens of people in the Boston Marathon?

Did you know Barbie Jean's son Scott Jurgen went to prison first for drug dealing at Scarborough Downs race track, and less then a year after being released, went back to prison for impersonating a police officer?

Did you know Shem Atwater and Yvonne Johnson are the founders of The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan - the single most violent branch of the KKK to ever exist?

Did you know that by having Barbie Jean, Shem, and Yevonne in your Discord and Twitch chat, you've branded yourself as a supporter of BOTH Isis AND the Ku Klux Klan?

You underhanded, two-faced, vile fucking piece of shit!

You were the first and only friend ever had in my entire life, and now I find out you were only pretending to be my friend so you could get inside information on what torture was like for your sick ass fucking BDSM torture fetish fan fiction about me!

How much did they pay you to fake being my friend for the entire of the 2 years you made those memes and spread them around the internet?

Oh and it keeps getting worse... in the weeks following the discovery of what ThingyChan was doing... more then 60 other Twitch streamers and viewers have now come forward to say, she did the same thing to them.... 

... she has been actively hunting down and seeking out victims of horrendous sexual child abuse, befriending them, while behind their backs making Twitch streams and posting Discord posts filled with sexual, BDSM, torture fetish lies about them.

... every one of the 60+ people who've contacted me between October 2019 and February 2020, describe Claudia as: 

* "a mean spirited bully", 

* "a self centered, bitch with no compassion, empathy, or concern for other people's feelings", 

* "a sociopath who takes sick delight in the suffering and pain of others", 

* "obsessed with sadism and bondage on horrifying levels"

More than 60 others have come forward to tell me horrifying nightmare stories of how they were sadistically and maliciously teased, bullied, belittled, and treated like shit by Claudia.

Every one of them tells nightmare stories of her vile obsession with their sex lives and building horribly slanderous lies about sexual fetishes that ThingyChan has been spreading about them.

Everyone of them said they used to be her subscribers and followers, one is even one of her chat mods... they all said they are too scared of her to dare confront her and ask her to stop harassing them. They said they felt harassed, bullied, and may to feel bad about themselves. Four of them said things she said to and about them, made them want to commit suicide. 

All of them say they were made to feel very uncomfortable by her obsession with sex, bondage, panties, and torture devices, especially giving her habit of making lewd, off colour jokes about their sex lives.

Each of them said they unfollowed, unsubscribed, and stopped viewer her channel after she lashed out at them, making up wild sexually perverted jokes about them, in some cases "pairing them up" with other members of her chat as "sex partners". 

37 of them said she had "paired them up" with me (EelKat), spreading lies about their sex lives, telling her viewers that they were among my sex partners!!!

More than a dozen of them said they felt "virtually raped" by her "endless lewd perverted sex jokes" about them.

Wow.

Just. wow.

Virtually raped.

That's exactly how I felt when I found out the sex lies she was spreading about me.

She is the worst type of online sexual predator. A person who's one goal is to run across the internet spreading fake news about other people's sex lives for the simple purpose of getting sick sadist glee in watching the relationships of couples being destroyed by her slanderous lies about their sex lives.

Virtual rape.

That is exactly what she is doing.

I thought I was the only one she was harassing, whom she had done this to and now I'm finding out she has a huge history of doing this.

She supposedly lives with her parents... my question is:

* do her parents know the type of sexually deviated shit she is doing online?

* does her mom or dad know they are paying the internet services for their daughter to be sexually harassing people online?

* would her mom and dad continue to let her live under their roof, if they knew their daughter was an online sex predator?

* and what is the contact information for her local government officials so I can report her for her predatory online sex offences?

ThingyChan is lucky she's not a citizen under my control, because the sex crimes she committed on her Twitch streams and Discord would have gotten her, her fingers cut off and tongue cut out. 

I am deeply saddened that this sexually deviated, perverted little piece of shit isn't one of my subjects and is protected from punishment by a vile government that allows online sex offenders like her to walk free without punishment.

Twitch is a place for people to come together as a community, sharing experiences, hopes, dreams, and hobbies.

Twitch is NOT a place for sex offenders to congregate and hunt down victims to virtually rape.

Twitch is NOT a place where deviated sex predators should be allowed to roam free, sexually harassing others.

Twitch is NOT a place where cyberbullies belong, especially not sexual bullies.

#TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED....

...you can be damned sure that however you treated me, I AM going to treat you EXACTLY the same, tenfold, seventy times seven EXACTLY like Jesus told us to do in the Bible.

Be good to me and I'll be golden to you.

Treat me like shit and I'll be your fucking damned worst nightmare.

Claudia is not the first piece of shit to try to deceive me and pretend to be my friend with no true goal of friendship and only self-centered desire to get something for nothing.

The first 31 years of my life was spent sleeping in feces, starving, locked in a cage.

My first experience with Americans was to be plastered by paparazzi all over every newspaper as a feral child who survived "the worst child abuse case in American history".

My 2nd experience with Americans was for Stephen King's film crew to show up, trespassing, unannounced, to film not one, but 2 movies on my farm, without my permission.

Since then I went on to published 130 novels, 30 nonfiction books, 2,000+ short stories, and 10,000+ non-fiction articles.

I founded The Procter & Gamble Boycott going on to spend 27 years shutting down the animal test labs of not only P&G but also Avon, Estee Lauder, and dozens of others.

All of those things has resulted in people flocking to me as fans, pissing their pants to meet me and get my autograph, but never once becoming a friend... they already have friend who they run back to screaming they shook my hand.

I've never had a friend.

Never.

Not one.

Ben is the closest thing I've ever had to a friend, and do you know who he is? He's the damned fucking high priest. Yeah, the child raping bastard who bought me for $13,000 when I was 12 years old, then spent the next 20+ years buying my mother new cars, paying my dad's tax bills, spending tens of thousands of dollars every month for decades, for the EXCLUSIVE right to be the ONLY pedophile allowed to rape me. Yeah, the sadistic man who dictated my living conditions, all those years. And he's only with me still today, because he's scared shitless that he'll get life in prison if I ever turn him in, like I did the rest of the jackass bastards I grew up with.

Ben's not a friend... he's a terrified pedophile covering his ass. An elderly man, regretting his past and trying to buy his way into heaven.

I tolerate his presence, because in spite of everything he did throughout my childhood... he's the only person I can depend on to help me now that I'm crippled. And he only does that because he's got FBI agents on his back watching his every move.

He doesn't love me. He never has. No one ever has.

My parents, my uncles, they only loved the money they could get from having an 8 year old child with 38DDD breasts.

I had my first "miscarriage" at age 14 when one of my uncles decided it was bad for business for me to be pregnant, so tossed me in a shower stall, and kicked my belly until I passed out. I woke up 3 days later, still in the shower stall, the entire bathroom a bloodbath.

ALL 7 so-called "miscarriages" have been that way. Outright murder.

Ben was the father of every murdered baby and he not only doesn't give a shit, he goes so far as to say, none of the babies were his, goes into wild, violent meltdowns accusing me of being "unrighteous and unfaithful", so he doesn't have to care... but when I was 12, he bought the exclusive rights to me, and I've not been with anyone else since.

Ben's cold, callous uncaring about the deaths, murders of his own children, at the hands of my uncles, is the number 1 primary reason why I like Avallac'h... 

Avallac'h loves babies and hates people who kill them. It's rare to find a man who wouldn't kill a baby, even their own. Real men hate babies. Avallac'h doesn't. Real men kill babies. Avallac'h kills baby killers. 

A man who doesn't kill babies is among the rarest thing there is. Real men are evil. All they care about is sex. They don't care about your health. They don't care about your safety. They only care about their dicks. And babies are in the way. Men massacre babies without batting an eye. 

Avallac'h's love for babies, alongside his fierce, violent protection of babies and their mothers, marks him as a rarity among men and a hero beyond any hero out there.

I was only one of the 140 nieces, my uncles regularly chained down, then jumped on their stomachs while they were pregnant. David was the worst. He was a 6'4" weight lighter, he'd tie the girls down, then beat their bellies with his 200lb weights.

That's the reality of child prostitution rings.

Go to my VOD list. Look for the VOD uploaded April 24, 2019, with the phrase "NSFW" in its title. The video includes footage of the sawed up bones, of 31 of those girls, being dug up on my farm.

Not everyone lived through their so-called "miscarriages". Nearly half died with their babies.

The FBI is still looking for more 200 girls between the ages of 4 and 12, who went missing in the 1970s and 1980s. I know where they are. August 16, 1991, uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, alongside grandpa David Henry Atwater drove a caravan to Canton Lake, Canton Maine... I spent that 7 hour drive, tied up, gaged, and locked in the trunk of one of the several dozen cars involved in that caravan.

They Heaven's Gate murders happened just 5 years later and is what caused the FBI raid that rescued me and 140 others.

But the FBI first showed up at the farm in 1987.

The FBI started hanging around a lot in 1990.

And then, August 16, 1991, the entire clan gathered, from all over Canada, New England, Utah, Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming... thousands of them, in the biggest "family reunion" the Scottish Gypsies ever held... on Canton Lake.

Those 200+ missing girls... are at the bottom of Canton Lake. 

Lead by David Henry, Mervin Bruce, David, and Shem, the oldest of the grandchildren - men in their 30s and 40s - slit the throats of those girls, gutted them, sawed them up, boiled their meat off the bones, and then made a game, with the youngest children - boys all under the age of 12 - a contest to see who could throw bones the farthest, off a high cliff out into the lake...  in what they referred to as a "Moose poaching camp"... a huge hunting camp that they usually used for processing poached moose. ... a moose processing camp, owned, run, and operated by Barbie Jean.... 

The Atwaters are monsters!

They knew the FBI was coming down on them, so they decided to hide the evidence of the child prostitution ring.... thus they spent the night processing the meat of those 200+ young girls, and then, loaded the steaks into the backs of the door-to-door steak trucks that you see all over Maine, and sold them as "deer meat steaks".

That's what happened to the 200+ girls that went missing, and didn't get rescued with the 140 others, during the FBI raid that shut down the biggest child prostitution ring in America.

You see the constant police and backhoes digging up my farm at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine - it's been going on since the first bodies were dug up by coyotes in 2016, ... if you're local, you've seen it, the hundreds of rusty oil barrels the FBI and police are digging up in my yard... the crowds of locals gathering around my farm, and police simply saying: "We are investigating cannibals" and giving no more details.

The oldest barrels they've excavated so far, date to the 1920s.... the bulk of them are from the 1950s to 1970s.... 

In those oil barrels are the bones of children. Little girls, 8, 9, 10, 12 years olds, who dared commit the sin of getting pregnant when white Americans paid $20,000 to rape them.

Americans like to spread all kinds of rumors about the group they call "The Scottish Mafia", but the reality of the so-called Scottish Mafia, is far worse then the stupid ass rumors.... a clan of cannibals, who raised little girls like they cattle, girls who spent their childhoods in cages, let out only long enough to be raped by American men willing to pay the highest prices, then slaughtered eaten as steaks when they turned 14 years old.... that's the REAL Scottish Mafia, a very big far cry from what you see portrayed as "Scottish Mafia" in TV and movies isn't it?

We females were seen as livestock.

Kept in cages, even puppy mills wouldn't dream of using.

Let out long enough to be raped by strangers.

Our rape babies beaten out of our bellies, on the orders of their fathers, who the uncles blackmailed more money out of. Pay money to beat the 8 year old child carrying your rape baby, ensure no one finds out what you do in your spare time.

Then slaughtered for food when you turn 14.

Your bones, sawed up, packed in oil barrels, and buried in the swamps.

They thought the swamps would rot the metal barrels, rot the bones.

They were wrong, weren't they?

The peat bog moss of the swamp preserved them. And now they are being dug up.

Go watch the VOD. See the bones being excavated out of my farm for yourself.

That is what I grew up with.

That is MY background.

That is MY experiances.

What are YOURS?

You say they are differant?

Are they?

My experiance is most Americans think their experiances are differant from each other, but in fact they are not, and not one of them comes even close to how different MY experiances are.

Daily being raped from the time I was 4 years old

When any of children got pregnant, our bellies were crushed.

And when we reached the age of 14, we were cut up into steaks and sold as fucking deer meat.

Have you noticed that in 2016, the door-to-door deer steak trucks all but vanished in Maine? Yeah. Now you know why. A lot of them are in prison now for selling human not deer steaks.

#If you have any information regarding this case, FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322

I'm one of the few who survived, because I had papers. When I was 12, a millionaire high priest from Austria, bought exclusive rights to me, and he also got me legal paperwork: American citizenship, a social security number, a birth certificate - things females in this clan were not allowed to have. Ben is the only reason I went on to become one of the few girls still alive today, and not sold as deer steaks when I turned 14.

A lot of people don't know WHY I got so damned mad at ThingyChan, when she took events from my childhood and made BDSM sex fetish memes about it... because unlike ThingyChan, a lot of people don't know the full details of what happened to me, what I saw happen to my cousins.

Half the time they weren't killed humanely... Anastasia... was only 4 years old, when on August 21, 1991, she had her leg pulled off her body.... the intestines came out with the bone .... her breakfast half digested spewed out all over the floor mingled with the blood... it took her 5 damned days to finally bleed to death. And they left her laying their, while the older male cousins, Shem leading them, kicked her, punched her, and raped her, over and over again.

#THEY FUCKING TORTURED HER TO DEATH!

Do you know what it feels like to have your head held down on a cement cinder block while a more traditional red brick is slammed into your face?

I do!

It was a common punishment.

I can even begin to count how many times my jaw was broken that way.

#Do you see now how incredibly VILE the sex joke memes ThingChan made about the torture I went through, is?

#HOW DISGUSTING THINGYCHAN IS FOR CALLING A 4 YEAR OLD BEING TIED DOWN, RAPED, AND JAW BROKEN WITH A BRICK, A BDSM SEX FETISH!!!!!

ThingyChan is a bad as the fucking men who did that to us!

How dare she call the torture we went through BDSM sex fetishes!

Over 300 little girls between the ages of 4 and 14 were MURDERED!

What kind of a sick bastard makes sex jokes about THAT?

#WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER!!!!!

There has never been a time in my life, when I wasn't suffering in pain from broken bones that never got set, ruptured organs that left me bleeding for weeks on end. Not once being allowed to go to the hospital.

My hip dysplasia was caused by having a 2 foot long foundation nail driven through my hip when I was 4 years old.  

I've heard people say sex was good, fun, happy... I've never had sex that wasn't forced, wasn't rape, wasn't brutal, and didn't leave me without broken bones or torn muscles. Sex is the worse, most evil, most horrible, vile, pain riddin form of torture there is. I can't even image how anyone could enjoy being beaten, having their bones broken, strangled, stabbed with knives, forks, and broken glass plates... sex the most awful thing there is, I can not understand how anyone would want it.

The only good thing about sex is the babies that come from it, but all of mine were murdered before they could be born. I was never allowed to raise any of my babies, and I nearly died after every beaten that killed my babies. 

The most recent one, they beat me with metal baseball bats and golf clubs, left me not only without my baby, but with my spine, hips, and knees broken, I'm crippled for the rest of my left and have spent the last 6 years relearning to walk.

No one has ever been kind to me.

No one has ever hugged me.

No one has ever kissed me.

No one has ever loved me.

There are only 2 things I've ever wanted: a baby and a friend.

America has laws, a woman my age can't adopt, you have to be under 45 in order to qualify for consideration to adopt a child in America; and the last beaten, left me unable to have children.

That leaves me with only one thing left to hope for in life: a friend, someone to talk to. I've never had that. Not once. More than half my life was spent locked in a cage, with no lights, no heat, total darkness, in a room with no windows, no nothing, just mold and fungus several inches thick on rotten walls, and a dirt ledge floor, bare ground, no floor boards. Alone for weeks on end, not knowing if or when I would ever see a person, if or when I would be given another burned saucepan to claw scrapings off of.

#When the FBI raid happened, I was

* 31 years old, 5'6" and weighed 87lbs. 

* my bones and muscles were (and still are) brittle and falling apart from 2 decades of extreme malnutrition. 

* I was nearly starved to death and the rescuers estimated I would have died with in the next few months had the raid not happened

* the room was filled with the bones of others who had died, been tossed in the room, their flesh eaten by the same rats that chewed on my arms and legs each night... they had all been beheaded, so no heads or skulls were ever found and the FBI continues to excavate the area and dredge local waters in search of the skulls, to this day

* It had been decades since I'd last eaten a meal, with as many as 2 weeks passing between being tossed a burned pan to scrap out. 

* I couldn't see in daylight because I'd spent so many years in total darkness. 

* And I didn't know how to speak human languages, was only able to speak cat and chicken, due to the only ones I had, had to talk to in that time, was the feral cats that snuck in through the cracks in the walls at night, and the chickens who were put in the room in the winter to protect them from the cold.

* I had no social skills, did not know how to communicate with others; was only able to communicate via writing; 

* because the only physical touch I had ever had from anyone was being raped or being beaten... I had (and still have) a massive phobia of humans getting near me and am prone to massive meltdowns of total hysteria if someone gets within 5 feet of me

* I had (and still have) a massive phobia of forks, seeing them as weapons, not food utensils, due to have been stabbed, scarred, and tortured with sharped forks by my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, so many dozens of times

* I was 37 years old before I found out I was a human, and not a demon, like I had been raised to believe

* I got my driving permit at age 34 and got my driver's license at age 35

* I started school at age 35 and got my GED at age 37

* many of the children who did not reach adulthood and died in those horrendous conditions, killed themselves before reaching the age of 16... I was the only one rescued who not only reached adulthood, but was in my 30s at the time of the raid

* when the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me asked what kept me from killing myself like the bulk of the others had done... in those 27 years of hell, I held on to 2 memories: when I was 6 years old Grammy Eva had taken me to the Ice Capades, and when I was 7, in the weeks before Grammy Helen's death I had watched The Liberace Show with her every week.

* my 2 grammys - one who lived in Hawaii and wore Muumuu & kimono - the other who in her 80s drove a orange metal flake 3-wheel motorcycle and wore neon purple pantsuits; The Ice Capades, and The Liberace Show were my only memories of the outside world... bright, colourful, and happy... and are why I wear the bright coloured clothes I wear today

* I held onto the memories of my good, kind, loving, compassionate grammys, and that's the only thing that kept me alive, I thought that if I ever escaped, the outside world would be like them... but now that I've met the outside world, I know that my 2 grammys were flukes, and that I was locked up because I was a fluke like them, and humanity hates kindness, compassion, and goodness because the entirety of Humanity is EXACTLY like my uncles - cruel, evil, hateful, abusive, mean, incapable of love, compassionless, and not deserving of the life God gave them - In my years since the FBI, I've yet to met a single, solitary person, who was kind, good, compassionate, or loving

* the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me, all agreed that they did not believe I would ever be able to assimilate into HUMAN society, due to my extreme hatred for and fear of HUMANS, and my total 100% belief that I was not a HUMAN, caused by my mother's extreme paranoid schizophrenia, and her having locked me in a cage in that isolation room on my 8th birthday because she believed faeries had stolen her real daughter and replaced her with me, a demon changeling

* the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me, all agreed that I likely will never be able to feel any empathy for or towards HUMANS, due to 3 decades of being raised by violent mentally unstable humans who had severe untreated schizophrenia that they bounced off each other... with them glorifying the glories of them being HUMAN and us children being DEMONS unworthy of living in HUMAN presence

* the thing this group of 24 psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers found to be the single most disturbing fact of all, was that ...

#my 3 decades of neglect, abuse, and isolation was so extreme that I possess no sympathy, empathy, compassion, pity, or ability to identify with Humans - the only emotion I feel towards humans is loathsome hatred and the unnerving desire to kill them all

* they said my total lack of any good feelings towards humans, combined with my extreme desire to kill all humans, alongside my having been raised to believe I was not human, marked me as an anomaly that they didn't know how to properly diagnosed because nothing like my case had ever been encountered before and there was no diagnosis for it

* among things included in my diagnosis, was the phrase: 

>>>"is a UFO suicide cult survivor"

and

>>>"was raised by radical fundamentalist extremists"

and

>>>"was raised to believe she was not human"

and

>>>"was raised to believe she was a demon"

and

>>>"in interviewing the adults who raised her, 52 of then maintain the belief that she is a demon channeling that they refer to as 'Her Grandmother's Evil Spirit'", "they claimed the real child ceased to exist after her grandmother's funeral", "they claimed that upon returning from the funeral, the real child was gone and this demon changeling was left in her place"

and

>>>"evidence suggests that her grandmother was murdered and she witnessed this event, resulting in the adults who murdered her grandmother creating the delusion that she was a demon, removing her from public school, and locking her in a cage in order to prevent her from telling anyone about the grandmother's murder"

and

>>>"they said they could not let her out of the cage because she refused to reveal where the faeries had taken the real child to"

and

>>>"they said they had no choice but to beat her daily because of her refusal to reveal the location of the real child she had replaced"

and

>>>"they likewise believe that both grandmothers were not human, cutting they too were demons"

and

>>>"they cited that the girl inherited 'Helen's evil spirit' upon Helen's death and 'Eva's evil spirit' upon Eva's death"

and

>>>"alarmingly every adult involved in her rearing displays severe schizophrenia, total belief in demons, and is fully convinced that this girl is a demon changeling; scarily their delusions fed on each other, giving rise to even more delusions" 

and

>>>"was removed from public school at the age of 8 years old a few hours following her grandmother's funeral; an investigation was made by the superintendent of schools, but social workers never followed up on the girl's sudden disappearance from public eye. These horrific events may never have happened had The Maine State Department of Human Services taken those initial reports from the her teacher, principal, superintendent, school nurse, and the child's pediatrician, all of whom files individual reports regarding concerns for the girl's safety after witnessing several signs of abuse during the weeks prior to her disappearance"

and

>>>"reports were made to the Old Orchard Beach Police Department regarding the girl's disappearance from school. No follow up was done. It has been discovered that members of the family worked in the police department and destroyed the department's record of these reports made by concerned school officials" 

and 

>>>"has never experienced kind, good, or loving relationships"

 and

 >>>"since infancy has never been hugged, held, cuddled, or touched in a good way by other humans" 

and

>>>"displays post traumatic stress disorder symptoms similar to WW2 concentration camp victims"

and

>>>"can not remember her name, answers to the names 'four eyed retard' and 'competition bitch' which appear to be the only names her mother called her since the age of 8 years old"

and 

>>>"has never been taught to view humans as equals" 

* in the weeks following the FBI raid, my mother and her 3 sisters and 8 brothers, were all diagnosed with schizophrenia... 

* the 12 siblings, their 50+ spouses, and 400+ adult children who ran the child prostitution ring, were all diagnosed with sociopathy, 5 were diagnosed with megalomania, more the 3 dozen (including my mother) were diagnosed with Munchausen syndrome by proxy

* the group was classified as the most radical of the compounds that called themselves members of Heaven's Gate - 4 of it's leaders killed themselves in the infamous HaleBop murder/suicide that killed 39 people in California and was what led to the FBI raid a few weeks later

* the FBI raid would result in dozens of Catholic, Mormon, Pentecostal, Baptist, Born Again Holy Roller, New Life, and non-Denominational churches throughout southern Maine and the Greater Boston tri-state area being closed in the weeks/months that followed, in the mid-late 1990s, as hundreds of pedophile priests were arrested for having paid money (often $millions in church funds) to rape the young girls

* wild rumors began to surface, as horrified Americans dubbed the clan leaders involved in the Scottish Gypsy child prostitution ring as "The Scottish Mafia"

* while American movie producers had a field day stereotyping "Scottish Mafia" to mean anything and everything, we 140 survivors, had to fight claw and fang against paparazzi, alongside trying to even learn what the hell an American even was

* the worst of them, Stephen King arrived at the compound, with a huge movie crew and set out to filming a movie "The Thinner" based off what he referred to as "the Gypsies of Saco, Maine, the most REAL Gypsy style Gypsies I have ever encountered"... he and his crew were trespassers, had no permits or permissions, and today are in a legal battle against our clan trying to get the rights to release Thinner on DVD, something we absolutely refuse to sign off on - we are abhorred that he tried to capitalize on our decades of torture, pain, and suffering

* and all of the 140 others like myself, were also raised to believe they were locked in cages because they were demons

* as of 2020, more than half of the 140 survivors rescued from that FBI raid have commit suicide, due to the pressures of trying to BECOME A HUMAN and to date none have been able to see themselves as HUMANS or successfully assimilate in HUMAN society and most are still 100% convinced they are DEMONS and are unable to identify as HUMAN or live among HUMANS

* while I was 31 at the time of the FBI raid; the eldest of my brothers was only 7 years old - yes, I am old enough to be the grandmother of every one of my brothers; one of them, was so badly traumatised by the abuse he received, he does not talk still to this day

* given the fact that my mother has multi-hundreds of medical records that all list her as infertile and unable to have children, after MY 16 YEAR OLD MOTHER - a brutal "miscarriage" (caused by an overdose of sleeping pills, then having her head cracked open with a brick b an unknown attacker while she was unconscious) she had 4 years after I was born, combined with the dates of the births of my brothers vs the dates of the so-called "miscarriage" beatings, some of the psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers involved in the case, believe that chances are high that my brothers, may actually be my sons, stolen from me by my own mother, after being beaten unconscious by her brother Mervin Bruce.... this theory was further emphasized by the fact that one of my brothers is a blue eyed blond (everyone in the Atwater family has dark skin, black eyes, and black hair, due to being 3/4 Native American and 1/4 black African) and looks exactly like Ben (a blue eyed blond Austrian), the father of my babies

#and yes, my mother was a VERY SMALL CHILD when I was born - she and I are closer in age to each other then most sisters are, which is also why people often mistake us for twin sisters and have difficulty telling us apart

* my father was 39 when I was born, making the age difference between my parents one of the youngest in the clan and one of the few where the father was less than 30 years older then the mother... the biggest age difference between mother and father is 57 years

* at age 14 I hold the record of being the OLDEST female to get pregnant, and was nicknamed by the uncles "the old maid" due to my being "so very old" the first time getting pregnant

* I was 1 of only 2 females to reach the age of 14 with fewer than 4 pregnancies under my belt

* because only 4% of all babies reach the 3 years old, babies are not named until after their 3rd birthday and are given only bare necessity minimum contact (feeding time once every 4 hours and diaper changes twice a day), to avoid emotional attachments to them; this results in most of the parents and adults feeling no emotions at all then the 97% of babies born to the clan die - a rate of about 3 baby deaths per week

* feeding babies and diaper changes are the responsibility of the "non-Human, Demon slaves", some of whom are let out of their cages for the hour long baby feeding and diaper changing sessions

* mothers rarely, if ever, saw their babies - this made it easy to sell excess (male) babies for $20,000 each to infertial American couples through fly-by-night (not legal) "adoption clinics"

* male blue eyed blond newborn babies are highly sought after by infertial American couples and can sell for as high as $200,000; thus wealthy blue-eyed blond priests from Catholic, Mormon, Pentecostal, New Life, and Baptist churches were sought out with offers to pay money to rape little girls

* the child prostitution ring was in operation for 57 years, bringing in multiple millions of dollars per year to the so-called "motel owners of Old Orchard Beach" aka The Cyr Clan, who owned it, before the FBI raid shut most of it down in 1997

* while as of 2020 most of the Atwater Clan men involved with running & managing the child prostitution ring have been arrested, the actual owners of the child prostitution ring (The Cyr Clan) whom the Atwater Clan worked for, have yet to be arrested and are still at large

* I do not know the name of the man who owned it, he rarely showed up on the farm, but when he did show up, he ALWAYS drove a giant backhoe, with a German Shepherd Dog riding in the bucket/scoop; the man looked exactly like Bo Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard, appeared to be TRYING to look like Bo Duke; he wasn't very big; most of the Atwater uncles who ran the clan were over 6'2" the tallest being 6'7" and the man from the Cyr clan barely reached to their shoulders, so he was around 5'7" tall; he was also very skinny and was flighty and nervous acting and seemed to very paranoid, he was loud and demanding and yelled a lot; in spite of his tiny size, my giant brutal, spouse abusing, child torturing uncles were terrified of him, but I never knew why; he reminded me of a chihuahua - small, loud, barking constantly, but scared of his own shadow; he was in his 30s at the time and had taken over "the business" from his father; he'd be around 65 or 70 years old today in 2020; he always spoke of owning a hotel, and every autumn arrived at the farm to hire my uncles to saw the copper pipes off of "competitors' hotels" and to burn down other hotels; throughout the 1980s and into the 2000s, every single year, no fewer than 4 and as many as 20 hotels were stripped of copper pipes and/or burned to the ground by my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater for the Cyr Clan man, between October and December, in Old Orchard Beach, Maine - Mervin Bruce Atwater was arrested  2016 and Old Orchard Beach has not had a motel stipped of pipes or burned to the ground since; 

* the child prostitution ring was able to operate for such a very long time for 2 reasons: ... 1: there is no limit to the extremes a wealthy infertial American couple will go through to get their hands on a blue-eyed blond male newborn baby.... 2: there is no shortage of wealthy blue-eyed blond American men willing to jump on the opportunity to rape a 10 year old girl and willing to pay tens of thousands to do so

* mothers who protested this, were declared "Demons" and put in cages with the rest of the "Demons"

* the "non-Human, Demon slaves" were let out of their cages once a week for 3 hours; every Sunday to go to church, where they received weekly exorcisms to try to cast out their "Demons" and turn them "back into Humans again"

* the girl with the most babies the youngest, had had 7 pregnancies, including 2 sets of twins, by the time she was 14, making her the mother of 9 by the time she reached her 14th birthday - today she holds the clan record of the mother with the most pregnancies to live, the most babies to reach the age of 3, and the most children to reach the age of 18... with a whopping 37 of her pregnancies not only being born alive, but reaching the age of 3, and then surviving to reach the age of 18; at the age of 40, she had 200 grandchildren and 37 great-grandchildren 

* my mother suddenly and mysteriously "became infertile again" after the FBI raid and her freak unexplained popping out new babies days after each of my so-called "miscarriages"  (each one caused by being beaten unconscious at around 8 months pregnant, and waking up with the baby gone, followed by my mother's miraculous "giving birth" to a slightly premature baby a few weeks later) suddenly ceased to happen

* I was 37 years old when a team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers set out to training me how to do things like walk on my feet instead of crawl on all 4s like a cat

* while today in 2020, I've trained my mind to accept the fact that Humans eat daily, and not once a week, the 27 years of eating what most would consider less than a snack, one day every week or 2, I am today not physically able to eat a daily meal because my digestive track is not big enough or strong enough to hold what ... a side effect of 27 years of extreme malnutrition and starvation

* the extreme starvation went on for so long, that even today 20 years after the FBI raid, I look like I am 9 months pregnant, because of my permanently distended "starvation" abdomen, a side effect of 27 years of scraping burnings off of sauce pans once every 12 days, and never once having a full meal in that 27 year period... I was still only 8 years old when the bloated starvation belly formed...  because it is caused by extreme levels of starvation, no amount of dieting while remove the distended starvation belly, which can only be removed by reconstructive surgery of my entire digestive tract

* the distended starvation belly is the reason I never wear tight fitted clothes, can not wear pants or skirts, and can only wear big loose fitting caftans, muumuu, and kimono as "normal" clothes do not fit over my distended starvation belly, which is so big that even maternity pants don't stretch enough to fit

* I was also 37 years old when a team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers set out to teaching me how to speak in human languages instead of in chicken clucks and cat growls and hisses

* during attempting to teach me to speak, they made an alarming discovery: I spoke via chicken clucks and cat growls and hisses, not because I didn't know human languages or lacked understanding as they originally thought, but rather, because I'd been hit in the face with a brick so many times in my lifetime, that I couldn't open my jaw wide enough to form words

* x-rays and trips to a dentist, revealed massive damage to my jaw bones, cheek bones, sinus region bones, and teeth, from years of being baten in the face with a brick

* at 41 years of age I had reconstructive surgery of my jaw, including 7 root canals... meaning my jawbone and 21 of my teeth are porcelain - not real bone or teeth, resulting in I am now able to eat solid foods for the first time in my life and also am now able to talk normally (before the surgery, the damage to my jawbone was so bad that I was classified as "near-mute" due to an extreme inability to open my jaw enough to be able to form words.

* all of my molars (back teeth) were crumbled shards, with raw pulp exposed

* my jaw was broken and healed improperly, in so many places that doctors could not determine how many times I had suffered a broken jaw in my lifetime

* the broken teeth and jaw bones were a result of having my head held down on a cement cinder block, while a regular red brick was used to smash my jaw - this was a recurring punishment I received a few times a month, from the time I was 8 years old until I was 31 years old

* I stopped talking when I was 14 years old and was classified as mute for the next 16 years - I "refused" to talk, because the searing pain in my jaw was so bad that I could not open my mouth far enough to form words

* the reconstructive surgery at age 41, resulted in my being able to speak normally, for the first time in my life

* I was 42 years old when I found out the concept of things like friends and people talking to other people existed; and my desire to have a friend, someone I could talk to set in

* July 1, 2001 a backhoe with the mural of a big red apple painted on it's side, drove over my house, while me and my brothers were gone to the movie theater... my mom's brother Joey bragged on Facebook that he had hired the man to do it

* February 14, 2003 - I was stuck in traffic and arrived to my doctor's appointment 10 minutes late.... lucky for me, as I arrived in time to see the mushroom cloud as a bomb in my doctor's office blew up First Care Health Clinic on Saco Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, killing my doctor and 3 nurses, and leaving 21 patients in critical condition

* October 16, 2006 a bomb blew up my house and an 8 foot tall Ku Klux Klan cross was left behind in the rubal (keeping in mind, several members of the Atwater family are members of the KKK)

* April 2007, the same backhoe returned to drive over my house yet again

* May 15, 2010, my car, the 1964 Dodge 330, was cut in half by a group of radical members of a local church known as The Saco Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; my mother's church; her friend Joel Bailey went to prison 7 months later

* May 2013 Southern Maine Community College was evacuated when a bomb was found in the back corner of the classroom I was in

* July 2013, while driving home from my job at the Maine Mall, I was pulled off the road to wait, while police closed off the crossroad at my street.... the body of my cousin Murphy was laid out in the middle of the road, minus his head... the police found his head a few miles away at a different crossroad... he was one of the children abused and survivors rescued

* August 8, 2013 the infamous backhoe returned to drive over my house yet again and this now being the 5th house this backhoe had driven over shortly after rebuilding from the previous attack, I gave up rebuilding houses to live under a tent instead

* August 13, 2013, on my birthday, my mom's brother Joey posted on my FaceBook wall "paying that construction worker to demolish your house for your birthday was the best $600 I ever spent, Americans are such boobs, they'll do anything for money"

* November 14, 2013, while in a parking lot putting bags of art supplies in the back of my car 3 unknown people attacked me from behind with 2 metal baseball bats and a metal golf club. This was the first time since the FBI raid of 1997, that I had been pregnant again, and for nw the 7th time, had a "miscarriage" caused by a brutal beaten; but for the first time a beaten by stranger, not one of my uncles or my mother

* 2 of them were women who looked to be about 65 and acted like sisters or best friends, one with long curly orange red hair and cyberpunk looking neon lime green cyclops-style glasses and a off the shoulder sweater of large black and white stripes and screaming "I'm Kendra Silvermander, it's my turn to shine"; the other a blond wearing a denim button front work-shirt; the 3rd a bald man who acted like either the blond woman's son or lover, and had a football player muscle build

* the FBI is still trying to identify these 3 attackers; alarmingly they discovered that the username "Kendra Silvermander" appears on the friend lists of 7 of my mother's social network accounts, including Twitter, FaceBook, and Pinterest, and they now suspect that this mysterious Kendra Silvermander, the blond woman, and the bald man, are relatives of my mother's, most likely connected to her brother David

* the November 14, 2013 attack broke my spine, hips, and knees leaving me paralyzed for 5 months and 18 months to relearn to walk 

* December 2013 through 2014 and into March 2015 Kendra Silvermander took over several of my accounts, most notably KBoards and Twitter... thinking I was dead, believing she had killed me, she hacked my online accounts, pretended to be me, and made fast work of re-writing 1,371 writing how to articles I had written for KBoards turning them into mindless sex crazed drival about Erotica - the genre she knew I did not write... and the bulk of the articles were changed to say simply "COCK, COKIT, COCK, COCK" over and over again thousands of times.... because I was paralyzed in the hospital, I had no idea this was happening online. Kendra Silvermander is the most evil person I have ever encountered. And it turns out, she was paid to do what she did... by my uncle David and Bruce, the same uncles who would later in 2018-2019-2020 pay ThingyChan to so a similar sex crazed take over of my accounts.

* I returned to work in 2015, but now with limited movement and requiring a cane

* November 2015 Scarborough WalMart evacuated when a bomb was found in the department I was stationed to work in

* March 2015 Barbie Jean's husband Paul Martel was arrested  by the FBI on a Boston Mass beach for selling bombs, bomb marking parts, automatic rifles, and machine guns to members of Isis; his bombs were identified both as the bombs that were used in the Boston Marathon attacks AND the bombs in my house, doctors' office, college, and work places; branding my mom's sister Barbie Jean as the FBi's number 1 suspect in ALL of the attacks prior

* March 2015 Barbie Jean's son Scott was arrested at Scarborough Downs Race Track for selling prescription bottles stolen from the Southern Maine Medical Center (aka The Barbara Bush Foundation Children's Hospital aka the Biddeford Hospital)

* April 10, 2015 - 12 members of my family were kidnapped

* April 12, 2015 - 2 escaped and returned home, both with their jaws broken and nearly all of their teeth knocked out

* May 15, 2015, the heads of 2 of them were returned (8 more heads would be returned in the weeks following)

* May 15, 2015 Barbie Jean posted a message on my FaceBook wall which read: "the next head nailed to a dor will be yours"... she posted it 5 hours before I discovered the heads nailed to my door

* June 2016  Scarborough WalMart evacuated a second time when a bomb was found yet again in the department I was stationed to work in

* July 2016 - Kendra Silvermander, the blond woman, and the bald man, this time in a gold Volvo suv, once again attacked me in a parking lot - this time at WalMart while I was putting groceries in my car... they attacked me from behind yet again, this tie with a shopping cart, while the redhead woman screamed yet again "I'm Kendra Silvermander it's my time to shine", while the blond woman screamed "that's EelKat she tried to kill my husband"

* since the July 2016 attack I have been bedridden with inoperable damage to my spinal column and unable walk unaided with the help of others

* though I have let's played games online since 2004 (on Myspace until moving to YouTube in 2008) it was a hobby I did only an hour or 2 a week. 

* because of my permanently crippled state for the rest of my life with no hope of ever walking normally again, I joined Twitch and set out to streaming 12 hours a day

... and then I met ThingyChan...

ThingyChan was the first time someone made an effort to be my friend, no strings attached, without some altaria selfish motive... or so I thought.

I didn't know until October 21, 2019, that she had spent 2 years pretending to be my friend, while behind my back spreading horrendous, sexually deviate, slanderous lies about me, claiming that my physical therapy to relearn to walk was what she termed "BDSM bondage fetish", in more than 200 multi-streams with someone named "Outsidelane" she made wild, lewd jokes referring to me as a "dominatrix", "bondage freak", and claiming I was into "foot fetishes".

On top of that, she took EVERYTHING that my vile, evil uncles did to me in my childhood, and started wild rumors that Avallac'h had done those things to Ciri AND said that I only liked him because he was what she called "a BDSM fetish freak dungeon master with torture devices and kept Ciri in cages while sexually abusing her".... something ANYONE WHO EVER READ THE NOVELS OR PLAYED THE GAMES KNOWS IS NOT TRUE!!!

But worst of all.... do you remember the "Deserve to be Raped" raids that happened in my Twitch Chat August 2018 and I had no clue who was sending these people to my channel - I only knew that they were coming from Discord and Reddit (or so Twitch Analytics said - but it didn't say WHICH Discord or WHICH subreddit)?

It turns out, that it was ThingyChan's Discord, where she built a massive fanfiction fantasy about me, spread across an astounding 2,000+ posts over a period of 2 years, telling people I was a "dominatrix" and spreading wild lies about what she termed my so-called "bondage freak fetishes".

:(

What Claudia did, HURT, a lot.

She pretended to be not only my best friend, but also my only friend, and the first friend, I've ever had in my entire life.... she pretended to be my friend the whole time she was doing that behind my back.

Her wild slanderous lies about me on he multi-streams, JackBox streams, and Discord posts, resulted in working 712 of her viewers into wild anti-erotica, anti-bdsm, anti-bondage, anti-Avallac'h, anti-EelKat frenzies, as their fundamentalist anti-sex Christian minds, believed every word of her lewd, perverted lies about me!

Me! Someone who is even more fundamentalist Christian, more anti-sex, then even they were!

But because they only knew me from Claudia's sex filled lies about me, they fully believed that I was the evil, sex crazed, deviant that ThingChan had told them I was!!!!

They likewise knew nothing about Avallac'h, having not read the novels or played the games, but fully believed him to be the "dungeon master with torture devices who kept Ciri locked in cages and sexually abused her" simply because Claudia told them that's what he was, while falsely claiming she had read the novels, when clearly the only thing she had read was the news reports about the abuse my uncles had done to me.

I am shocked and flabbergasted.

I can't understand why she did it.

She worked so many people into hate filled, rage fueled frenzies, that I had to turn my chat off.... 

.... and Claudia did that KNOWING that Twitch chat was my ONE AND ONLY connection to ANY ONE AT ALL now that I'm bedridden.

Claudia made a deliberate, malicious attack on my Twitch channel, clearly hoping I would leave Twitch. But I don't know why.

What Claudia did, HURT, a lot.

Especially considering SHE KNEW what had happened to me... she KNEW IN MORE DETAIL THAN ANYONE ELSE, because as soon as she found out about it, she questioned me up one side and down the other about every last detail, and I had no reason to not tell her, seeing I didn't know then that she was using it as research for the massive fanfiction BDSM fetish erotica mems she was creating about me behind my back.

I've never known a female who liked sex.

Men are obsessed with sex.

SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX...

Sex is the only thing men care about.

They stop thinking about sex only long enough to start thinking about money.

I'm stunned to find a female who has a sex crazed brain like a male. I seriously question if ThingyChan is ACTUALLY a female or is she one of those transgender people who just passes as a female?

I can't image there is an actual female, born with a vagina, who's brain is none stop SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX... the way ThingyChan's deviate slanderous lies about me on her Twitch streams and Discord were. There has to be a penis under her skirts for her to be that vile of an ingrate.

I thought I'd finally found a human being who wasn't a piece of shit.

I was wrong.

I'm tired of not one damned person ever wanting to ACTUALLY talk to me or ACTUALLY be my friend. 

I'm sick of people who are looking for handouts.

I'm fed up with people looking to get their 15 minutes of fame.

I've had it.

I've survived hell that most people can't even stomach hearing about.

I REFUSE to be treated like shit, by a vile piece of trash like ThingyChan who thinks taking the pain and suffering of others is good thing to make fucking BDSM fetish memes about.

Claudia is 24 years old, sitting behind her computer screen, laughing, joking, making sex memes about the suffering of others...

Do where I was when I was 24 years old?

Locked in a cage that a chihuahua wouldn't even fit in. Nearly starved to death.  Hips broken. Jaw broken. Pools of blood gushing from my rectum. The bloody, clotted remains of the six month old unborn baby that had just been beaten out of my belly covering the walls of the cage.

Where was YOU when YOU were 24 years old?

#HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TURN THAT INTO A BDSM SEX FETISH MEME, YOU VILE PERVERTED, FUCKED UP PIECE OF SHIT!

#ThingyChan, Outsidelane, Zutrix, Niv and the 712 bastards they sent to my channel have taught me that there is not one single, solitary person on the planet, who was kind, good, compassionate, or loving, and that, my uncles were not the flukes I thought they were, but rather the norm.... Humanity is evil.

#ThingyChan, Outsidelane, Zutrix, Niv and the 712 bastards they sent to my channel are just like my uncles... sadistic bastards who's only happiness in life is to hurt others and cause as much pain and suffering along the way, as they possibly can.

My whole life, after every blow, I've gotten back up and moved forward, fighting ever onward against all odds, because the hope for something better, the hope that somewhere out there, someone would love me, someone would want to spend time with me, someone would want to be my friend.

But it's been endless blow after blow for 60 straight years without a single break, not once, not even for a single week.

I'm too old, and my health is to poor, for me to keep getting back up and pushing forward any more.

I've nothing to look forward to in life, nothing left to hope for.

And I've no good or happy memories to look back on.

Not once.

Nothing.

Not one single day.

No one has ever loved me.

No has ever wanted me.

No one has ever been my friend.

There's no fight left in me.

I've no more will to even try.

I've reached a point, where I can no longer see a reason why I should even continue to live.

I don't have anything left to live for.

Right this game is the reason I have to live, and ThingyChan, Outsidelane, Zutrix, NivanRavenBum and their 712 friends, have made it so I barely want to do that anymore.

ThingyChan, Outsidelane, Zutrix, NivanRavenBum they pretended to be my friends just so they could get information, to use to make jokes and memes. They were not friends. They were just evil bastards doing what evil bastards do best: comit evil acts.

Playing this game, used to bring some level of joy, but now it's just constant dread... 

Who's going to be pissed off today? 

How many death threats are going to be sent to me this stream?

You have no idea how much it meant to me, that ThingyChan said she was my friend. Or how big of a blow her deceitful betrayal was.    

She was the first and only friend I've ever had.

I thought I had finally found someone who cared, and she turned out to be just as evil as my uncles.

I tried turning chat back on October 7, 2019... and within minutes Zutrix arrived with death threats, brings others with them and chanting "Kill EelKat".... They did that for 3 days, and I turned chat back off again Oct 10.

I can't take it any more.

It's bad enough there is not one single person on this planet who loves me or cares about me, but the endless hundreds of people daily chanting they wish I was dead is too much.

You want to talk to me? You want to be my friend? Then fucking PROVE IT! 

#STOP BEING A SELFISH FUCKING DICK!

ACTUALLY talk to me.

ACTUALLY be my friend.

Stop being a fucking jackass leech only hanging around because you want something from me.

#THAT IS WHY CHAT IS TURNED OFF.

...............................................

#UPDATED TO ANSWER VIEWER QUESTION: I just realized who you are. I remember the news reports. You're that poltergeist child aren't you? The one they called Etiole's Friend.

[Etiole](https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html)

Yes.

Etiole's friend.

Etiole.

The one thing that team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers could not explain, nor could agree on.

The thing that scares everyone.

My ability to call up a being made of blinding white light and send him anywhere, to find anyone, and kill them.

To date more 370 people have been killed by Etiole since the FBI raid in 1997... 

...40 have been killed since the kidnapping and murder of 10 members of my family on April 10, 2015.... including Dan Feeney's entire family.

Yep. EVERYONE in Dan Feeney's family is dead. All died the same day. Freak accident. House was hit by lightening. 9 times. Killed everyone inside. 

Who was it again, that kidnapped 12 members of my family and nailed the heads of 10 of them to my door?

...let me think... oh yeah... it was Dan Feeney.

Funny how the man who killed everyone in my family, saw his entire family die from a freak lightning strike.

What goes around comes around.

Do unto me as you want me to do until you.

Oh yeah... you remember that district attorney who got Dan Feeney off on a technicality? His heart exploded. He's dead too.

Karma's a bitch.

Especially when you are dealing with a Voodoo Priestess that happens to have a Grigori archangel as her pet familiar that she can just send out whenever, wherever, after whoever, and has no issues with casting death spells.

The others in that 40, ALL died from heart attacks, brain aneurysms, and being hit by lightning.

Including a certain backhoe driver, who had a massive heart attack, quintuple bypass surgery, now has a pacemaker, and is not expected to live another 2 years.... oh my... look at that... the 7 year anniversary of April 10, 2015, is just exactly 2 years away. Would've thunk?

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Oh... me thinks, they maybe should have done their research a little bit better and Googled me before they attacked me or my family... or better yet, they should have Googled Etiole.

An Avenging Angel. They are the bloodiest, most brutal, and least forgiving of any type of angel out their.

The Grigori Angels.

Seraphim who lost their wings, were cast onto Earth, and are called Alfar by some, Daemons by others, Faeries elsewhere... the Bible calls them The watchers... creatures who branded themselves the protectors of women and children, and when called upon, enact vengeance for wrongdoing.

Etiole showed up in my life September 23, 1978, and he answers my call every time since. Killing everyone whom has ever hurt me.

And every one of them, dies on the 7th anniversary of the crime they committed.

No one mourns David Henry Atwater, Richard Merlin Atwater, Mervin Bruce Atwater, or no one especially mourns Dan Feeney

My grandmothers, both Voodoo Priestesses, taught me how to call up archangels when I was just 3 years old.

And the angel who answered my screams for help, was Etiole.

The psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers, found themselves alarmed by the consistency of one thing found in every interview with all of the uncles, cousins, and my mother... more than 400 adults all swore they had seen with their own 2 eyes - Etiole.

They also all claimed he lived in a car: a 1964 Dodge 330.

Since 2007, 30,000+ psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, pseudo-scientists, MUFON members, conspiracy theorists, college students, and researchers have come to my farm, to see the car, study the swamp, and attempt to photograph Etiole.

No one has a definitive answer for what he is, though to date, more than 7,000 of them claim to have seen him.

Some call him an EBE.

Most call him an Amphibious Alien.

Others call him a White Reptilian Draconian 

The Atwaters and Cyrs firmly believe he is a demon.

Most of the psychologists and psychologists call him a "true poltergeist: a physical manifestation of an abused child's psychokinetic energy that kills her abusers with a terrifying force"Etiole is the Jewish Archangel otherwise known as The Archangel Etreal an Avenging Angel, Protector of the Innocent. He appears in the Christian Bible in the story of Lot and is the Angel of Justice and Retribution who rained brimstone and fire on the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. He is one of The Grigori.

Known as The Grigori aka The Fallen Angels, The Alfar are the archangels who had their wings cut off and were cast out of heaven forced to live on earth with the humans.

To further punish The Alfar, Archangels Michael, Uriel, and Gabriel chained to the Alfar to millstones then forced them to watch while their human wives and Nephilim children were tortured to death.

The Alfar branded themselves the protectors of humans, especial pregnant women and children.

However, some Alfar fell astray even father, mutating themselves into Daemons, they became obsessed with resurrecting their dead wives and Nephilim children, and took to abducting pregnant women at night, using them in blood rituals under the command of their leader Beelzebub.

The Alfar divided into 2 factions:

* Dökkálfar aka The Dark Elves - black skinned Elves who rode on red dragons

* Ljósálfar aka The Light Elves - White skinned Elves who rode on white unicorns.

In Scandinavian folklore the Archangel Etreal is known also as The Fox aka Avallac'h.

Yeah, Etiole and Avallac'h are representations of the same person. Sheds some light on why I like Avallac'h so much, doesn't it?

I told you Avallac'h was a character from ancient folklore who was very important to me for more than 50 years.

...............................................

#UPDATED TO ANSWER VIEWER QUESTION: Wait. I'm looking at the dates here and the similarities of the events. Did Andrj Sapkowski base Ciri off of you and Avallac'h off of your uncles? Is that why you like Avallac'h so much?

Yes.

He did.

I contacted him and asked him. He said he was inspired by the news reports of the Gypies' baby breeding program and child prostitution ring that was all over the new in the late 1980s and throughout the 1990s.

The FBI raids started in 1987. Many of the fake adoption clinics were shut down in those early raids. There were 3 dozen more FBI raids across the country in Maine, Arizona, Nevada, Illinois, Colorado, Florida, Connecticut, Utah, Oregon, Vermont, and Wyoming throughout the 1990s and into the 2000's. Most of the 1990s raids focused on rescuing child prostitutes who were between the ages of 4 and 12 years old. In the mid-1990s more then 100 churches in Maine & Massachusetts were shut down by the FBI for holding young girls in their basements and selling 15 minutes of sex-time to the men of the congregations; and 3 times as many priests, mostly Catholics & Mormons, were arrested for their involvement in the sexual abuse of the children.

In total, from the first FBI raid in 1987, to the current FBI raids that continue to go on in 2020, more than 400 girls were rescued, nearly as many boys were rescued, 300+ priests have gone to prison, 14 compounds (breeding farms) have been shut down across the country, 6 of the worst clan leaders are dead,  and a grand total of more then 4,000 wealthy pedophile American white men have been arrested for paying to rape and sexual abuse children.

Not all of the compounds have been shut down. There were more then 70 total run by the Atwater Clan and the Cyr Clan claimed to have double that, plus the operation is run by the Cyrs, not the Atwaters, and the Cyrs have other clans working for them besides the Atwaters. The Atwaters had at minimum 1 compound in each of all 50 states, as well as several more in Canada. In Utah they had one compound per country. In Maine there were 4 compounds at one point, all but 1 are not shut down. 

Each compound has at minimum a dozen girls, the largest compound had 120 girls. 

All the girls start being sold for sex at the age of 4 and most are outright sold into slavery before they reach the age of 14 (usually leaving the compound to live with their owner, but sometimes, like in my case, the man buys the girl and then pays a lease for her to continue to be housed on the compound - this is generally done by business men, priests, and married men who don't want their employees, church congregation, or families knowing they buy humans and keep them as slaves)

Girls are generally considered unsellable and past their prime once they reach the age of 16. If the girl turns 16 before a man buys her, chances are very high she will not live to see her 17th birthday.

Sadly, the slave trade industry (also called Human trafficking industry) in America is bigger today than it was during the Civil War error of the old South, with the FBI estimating that there are more than 40million slaves in the United States.... the Atwater clan's operation, being only one of the thousands of similar child sex slave businesses run in America.

And, the Atwater clan's child prostitution ring is considered to be one of the smallest of such businesses because they never had more then 500 girls in their care at any given time, total across the country in all compounds; whereas others are known to keep that many girls per compound.

Most of these child prostitution rings are owned, run, and operated by Americans, and because Americans like to pat themselves on the back while pushing their own shit under the rug, the child prostitution rings run by them, rarely make news headlines.

The only reason the one I grew up in made news headlines is because it was NOT run by Americans, but was rather run by Gypsies, and Americans had to plaster their hatred for all things not American on every TV screen and newspaper, to make sure you didn't see the shit they pulled as well....

,,,by that I mean, there were only 8 Gypsy men and 3 Gypsy women involved in running the child prostitution ring. Yep, just 11 people.

...and more then 4,000 American white men, mostly Catholic and Mormon priests, where arrested, while all 11 of the Gypsies running the operation WERE NOT ARRESTED.

Why?

Bureaucratic red tape vs rape kit DNA. It took so long to file the paperwork to press charges and get warrants, that the 11 Gypsies who ran the child prostitution ring, slipped through the cracks and fled the country to seek immunity in Australia. 

And while red tape and paperwork filing time allowed the 11 Gypsies running the compound to escape.... rape kits and DNA testing allowed 4,000+ white American priests to be arrested and put in prison almost all the day week.

The news reports focused on 3 things:  

* look, we told you all Gypsies are evil and 

* look, we told you all Catholics are evil, and 

* hey yay America aren't we the greatest for putting an end to this.

In spite of news reporters focusing on Catholic priests, only around 300 of the priests arrested were Catholic while over 3,000 of the priests arrested were Mormons.... the TV reporters decided it would be more sensational to just say all 4,000 of the priests were Catholic and completely ignore the fact that very few of the priests were Catholic.

Likewise, tv reporters branded ALL Gypsies as baby kidnappers... when in fact it was only one and only 11 Gypsies involved... and kidnapping was NOT even involved at all, as ALL of these children, were the children and grandchildren and great grandchildren of those 11 Gypsies.

The fact that more then 40million American children are still today in slavery situations in America, all of them in compounds owned by WHITE AMERICANS, and nearly twice as many American men are estimated to pay underground groups for sex with 5 year olds was completely ignored by the tv reporters and was never once mentioned by any of them at all.

The irony is that while it received way too much more media attention then it deserved

The tv reports blew the whole thing out of proportion, trying to lay all the blame on Gypsy cultures as a whole, when in fact, this one operation was very tiny, and the Gypsy men who started it, started it after taking a trip to Las Vegas and discovering that the largest industry in Las Vegas was not casinos, gambling, or strip clubs, but rather underground child prostitution rings.

The men who start the compounds did so on the logic of: "Well if Americans can make that much money selling their children for sex, we can do it too."

Child prostitution remains to this day the largest underground big business for white Americans... bringing in more money than drugs, guns, and more traditional adult prostitution combined.

Sadly, the news media narrow focused in on 11 Gypsies and blew the whole thing out of proportion, with very little accurate information being given to the general public.

I say sadly, because this has resulted in a huge boom in anti-Gypsy propaganda, when this sort of thing is not normally a part of Gypsy culture, and while the focus is fully on "look how bad Gypsies are", the tens of millions of children, still locked in cages owned by white Americans are being completely ignored because news media has to scream: 

#"Praise America, hey look, go attack the non-white guy that's doing a little crime, so you don't see the bigger shit we white Americans are shoving behind Oz's curtain"

While it's great that most of the Gypsy run child prostitution rings are now shut down, the way the media blew things out of proportion, has caused hundreds completely innocent Gypsy families across the ENTIRE PLANET NOT JUST IN AMERICA, to see their children confiscated by social services for no reason at all other then: "you are Gypsy, you have 12 children, therefore you must be selling them for sex"...

...while tens of millions of child sex slaves continue to go on being tortured by their American owners, who are getting away with it because they has white skin and they are American, so therefor they can do no evil.

And people like ThingyChan, who make vile memes and jokes about these child sex slaves, making them out to be willing participants of the hell they live in by calling them BDSM dominatrixes, are exactly why more people DON'T do anything to help rescue these children.

Vile women like her who can make sick sex jokes about that kind of shit are what's wrong with society today.

Until people STOP acting like ThingyChan, and STOP making memes and jokes about this horrendous child porn industry, we are never going to see enough people rise up to stop child porn once and for all.

#I don't know who is more vile: 

* the men who sell the children,

*  the men who buy the children, 

* or jackasses like ThingyChan who make fun of the children for the sake of getting views.

I am tired of people like ThingyChan who are drawn to other people's misfortune and think getting a laugh out of the pain and suffering of others is good fun.

Claudia is not the first sick ass, cold, heartless bully to do this, she's just the first one who pretended to be my friend while they did it....for 2 fucking years... laughing and joking with her friends Outsidelane, Zutrix, and Niv, while lying about me and telling them I was a dominatrix BDSM fetish freak! She took horrific sexual torture from my childhood and made filthy slanderous lies about my current sex life... and she did it on a daily basis for 2 damned fucking years, while pretending to be my friend the whole time and continually asking for more info about my childhood, I thought because she cared, and now I find out she was just gleaning for information she could use to make sex jokes and memes about, the fucking backstabbing bitch!

Be sure your sin will find you out. How long did she think she could hide what she was dong from me? Vile, disgusting backstabbing bitch from hell.

And she's so evil, she can't, won't, even apologize. That's how evil a bitch she is.

Can't apologize... that make her more vile, more evil, then a rapist and murderer combined.

Refuses to apologize. Well we all know what the Bible has to say about that. Her eternity in Hell will be greater then all the Hells of all the abusers, liars, rapists, and murders combined.

There is nothing Jesus hates more than someone who refuses to repeat of their sins and forgiveness.

Refusal to apologize. It's the worst sin of them all, according to Jesus.

Unapologetic. There is nothing more evil then that.

I am horrific that someone could be so cruel, so heartless, so cold, so unfeeling, so sadistic, that they would find the kind of hell I grew up with to be something they can make jokes about.

And then take that vile, evil, crue, cold hearted bastard and have them be so deviated, so twiisted, so sadistic, so mentally deranged, so sick in the head, that they seek out the person that was hurt, to pretend to befriend them, out of sick deviated pleasure to watch them be hurt even more by your own hands.

What kind of a psychopathic sociopath does something like that? Why would you do something like that? What the fuck is wrong with her?

I am so damned sick and tired of people taking vile, horrific events from my childhood and making fun of it like it was some fucking joke.

Tens of thousands of news reports about this supposedly "massive" Gypsy baby breeding/child prostitution (so called "Scottish Mafia Crime Family" as the media often call it) ring have been circulated around the world in the 3 decades since the FBI raids started, and Andrzej Sapkowski is not the first, nor will he be the last, person to take elements of my childhood and write a fictionalized version of it.

And while I'm known to be very vocal in my absolute total outrage against people capitalizing on the hellish abuse me and many other children lived through... Andrzej Sapkowski stands out as one of the rare few who I not only don't hate, but actually liked how he handled what he wrote.

Andrzej Sapkowski kept a lot of details of the real life events virtually unchanged. The bodies on the ravine for example. In real life there were 31 bodies The Goosefare Brooke Ravine, in The Reclaim Blueberry Plains, in The Ross Forest, of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, and in the novel Lady of the Lake he changed it to tens of thousands of bodies in the ravine.

Ciri was 12 when Avallac'h took over her life and started breeding her to other men.

I was 12 when Ben took over my life and bought exclusive rights to be my only breeder, not allowing other men access to me after that.

And then of course there's me, Etiole's friend, the poltergeist telekinetic and psychokinetic abilities that result in everyone being scared shitless of me and wanting to study me.

Verses Ciri the girl with telekinetic and psychokinetic abilities that result in everyone being scared shitless of me and wanting to study me.

The big, notable differences are primarily in the living conditions.

Avallac'h kept Ciri and the other girls in his care in a palace, made her Queen of Avalon, practically worshiped her while treating her like royalty. Avallac'h never hurt the girls and he killed anyone who did. He was very protective of them and took very good care of them.

In real life we "breeders" were locked in cages, went weeks between meals, slept in our own feces, many starved to death before they were 10 years old, others were beaten to death. 

Avallac'h was fierce in his protection of babies. He was brutal with anyone who dared hurt a baby. Abhorred abortion.

In real life, the uncles who ran the clan, thought nothing of beating a pregnant child until her belly popped and the splattered remains of the baby burst out. They thought it was funny. They'd laugh and joke about it and call us "pinatas" and gamble money to see who would be the one to burst our pregnant bellies open first.

Avallac'h actually wanted a baby. His Lara Dorren wife died when she was 8 months pregnant with another man's baby and he promised to raise the child, but lost it. His mind fell apart and he became obsessed with babies. Ciri looked like Lara to the point that he refused to believe she was not Lara and demanded she get pregnant by another man, so he pick up where he left off, raising the family he had lost: Lara and her illegitimate baby. Avallac'h loved Lara and he loved the baby. He was devastated by their lost and was trying desperately to bring them back.

In real life, the uncles didn't give a shit about the children or rape babies of those children. We just dollar signs, easily expandable when we were no longer useful for bringing in more cash.

Avallac'h was every bit as kind and loving to the girls in his care as the uncles were brutal and cruel to the girls in their care. 

Avallac'h wanted a family. The uncles wanted money. 

Ciri and the other girls lived in the lap of luxury in Avallac'h's palace harem. We starved to death in cages and fought rats for scraps of rotted maggot filled food.

Avallac'h loved Ciri and the other girls in his care. He never hurt them and he fiercely protected them. The uncles justified the torture, abuse, and outright murder of the girls in their care by dehumanizing us, stripping us of dignity, and convincing themselves what they did was okay because we were "not human" but rather "just demons".

Yes, Avallac'h's being heavily influenced by the real world events from my childhood, is why I like him, because he's what the uncles SHOULD have been.

The thing I don't like is how Andre Sapkowski handled writing ciri, portraying her as a sex crazed trashy whore, constantly ripping off her panties, masterbating for the reader every 5 pages, and shoving her naked ass in the face of every man she meets.

He wrote 12 year old Ciri as a horndog, lustful, sex crazed slut who was ready to jump in bed with everyone because she just plain wanted sex every 5 minutes of the day.

In reality, we REAL 12 year old girls fought the men every step of the way, biting, kicking, clawing, and often castrating, the men ho were raping us. Not one of us 12 year old girls WANTED sex. Every chance we got we would grab hold of knives and hack and slash you way through the men, then run hoping to escape.

His writing Ciri as a sex crazed 12 year old loving every minute of being a child prostitute in Avallac'h's baby breeding program, was HUGELY inaccurate to how real world 12 year olds act in REAL world baby breeding programs.

We see 8 different scenes of 12 year old Ciri, angry and enraged because her breeder, King Auberon, refused to have sex with her and wanted to wait until she was older. In each scene we see 12 year old Ciri, smashing furniture, breaking mirrors, stomping her feet, throwing herself on the flooring holding her breath, and screaming at the top of her lungs "AUBERON WON'T GIVE ME AN ORGASM".

In the rape scene on page 179, we see 12 year old Ciri at her sex crazed worst, when she viciously attacks Avallac'h raping and then castrating him, while screaming "MAKE ME PREGNANT RIGHT NOW!"

Real world 12 year old girls DO NOT ACT LIKE THIS in these situations.

I can't identify with Ciri, even though she lives through many near identical events that I lived through (including the beheading torture of my best friends, which happened when I was 14, vs Mistle's beheading which happened when Ciri was 12), which should make me be able to identify with her, because I have first hand experience with being tortured in exactly the same way Leo and Vilgizfort's tortured Ciri... but Ciri does not have realistic, relatable responses to these events.

Unfortunately, because of how he portrayed Ciri in the sex scenes with King Auberon, and he nullified, numb reactions to Mistle's beheading, alongside her steady, constant, non-stop demands for sex.... I feel that Andrzej Sapkowski, wanted to be one of the American men with enough money to pay to rape us girls. That's how the Witcher novels read.

Andrzej Sapkowski's writing, glamorizes, glorifies, sexualizes, and turned into child porn Erotica, some of the worst cases of real world child abuse in American history.

It is clear that Andrzej Sapkowski is drooling with lust for Ciri's 12 year old vagina, with every line he writes of her furiously masterbating for King Auberon.

It is clear that if Andrzej Sapkowski had lived in America and had had $20,000 to spend, he would have been first in line to rape a 12 year old Gypsy girl....

...and because of that... the Witcher novels horrify me.

Yes, I like the Witcher novels, but I don't recommend them. Why? You need to remember one thing: 

Not every priest involved in the child prostitution ring has been arrested.

You remember the high priest from Austria?

Yeah.

You see him in my streams, every week.

Ben.

The power of an apology.

You remember how I said ThingyChan was a worse piece of shit then my uncles were because SHE REFUSES TO APOLOGIZE for the crap she pulled?

Unlike the other priests, unlike my uncles, unlike the rest of the men... Ben was never arrested, nor will he be... because he said was sorry for what he did.

He apologized.

The power of an apology... that's what kept him out of prison, while 4,000 pedophile priests are now behind bars.

On top of that, Ben and I are now a couple and have been together for 32 years.

Officially, I am diagnosed with Stockholm Syndrome, because of my absolute refusal to turn Ben over, like I did the rest.

And he did buy me when I was 12, so technically, he stills owns me, and while my uncles were abusive, Ben wasn't. He's never hit me. I don't believe he would. He probably scare himself if he did.

Not many men are able to gain respect from their women. Too many men buy us because they just want sex and something to beat on when they get drunk. Ben's not like that. He's rather unique.

I'm quite lucky.

Not many women get bought by a man who is not abusive.

Compared to the other girls who grew up with what I did, I came to a fairly good end.

Most girls will get bought by a man who is going to beat them to death before they are 20 years old.

It' rare to see a female Gypsy over the age of 30 and that's why.

Unfortunatly, most men in Gypsy culture, see women as a type of livestock.

We get bought and sold all the time.

A lot of Gypsy women live in fear that the man who owns them, will get bored with them and sell them to a man even worse.

Others hope the man who owns them, will get bored with them and hopeful sell them to a man who is better.

A man like Avallac'h, one who doesn't beat his women, and treats them with kindness... most Gypsy women don't even dare dream of being owned by someone like that. Men like that are just so rare.

Yeah, I like the Witcher novels, because segments of them, the parts with Avallac'h, were based off of real world events from my childhood and I have Stockholm Syndrome.

I have an extreme obsession with shutting down, every last child prostitution ring in the clan, and hunting down every last man involved in it and putting them all in prison.

The last 30 years of my life have been fully 100% devoted to that goal.

And over the course of carrying out that goal, I started collecting every last bit of media about my childhood.

You see, I am utterly fascinated, with the fact that so many people are fascinated by my childhood.

And am left to wonder, why, when so many millions, upon millions, upon countless millions of people publicly, in newspapers, on TV news reports, in online forums, authors of novels, writers of movies... all CLAIM to to be horrified by my childhood, and many of them, hundreds of locals, all CLAIM, that any one of them would have come to our rescue... then why the hell, did not one of them, ever do so?

One of my brothers escaped, made it to a near by church, and begged the bishop for help, told the bishop what was happening... and Bishop Dan Kenning, took him back "home" and recommended to my parents and the uncles, that he be punish for "telling such a whopper"... oh he was punished alright... and he hasn't said a word in the 30 years since... yeah... my brother who doesn't talk.

In the 1980s we were let out once a week, for 3 hours to go to church. During that 8 year period, I reported what was happening to 16 bishops, 3 town managers, 32 town councilman, and 24 police officers, all of Old Orchard Beach, all of whom were members of that church. I even gave them the address 37 Smithwheel Rd as the location ... yeah IN FUCKING 1988!!!!! 

#THINK ABOUT THAT!

37 Smithwheel Rd, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.... in 1988: 24 police officers, 16 bishops, 3 town managers, 32 town councilman, HAD ALL BEEN GIVEN REPORTS that children were being bought and sold

24 police officers KNEW about 37 Smithwheel Rd in damned fucking 1988!

#SHOVE THAT UP YOUR DAMNED NEWS REPORTS!

Hundreds of locals, INCLUDING ALL 24 OF THOSE POLICE OFFICERS, all CLAIM, that any one of them would have come to our rescue... HAD THEY KNOWN WHAT WAS HAPPENING.... and yet, I know of more then 40 different children, who during those 3 hour Sunday services outside of our cages DID MAKE REPORTS OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING.... 

I am so damned sick of bastards who what to look good in public, but don't give a shit about doing good deeds... THEY FUCKING KNEW what was happening, 40+ children, begged them for help, half those children were DEAD YEARS before help came.... they claim they would have helped us? Well then why the hell, did not one of them, ever do so?

They only said for news cameras, that they would have helped had they'd known, because they wanted to make themselves look good to others, they didn't give a shit about helping us. 

They didn't care, they didn't even believe us.

And THAT'S why I like the Witcher novels.

Not for Geralt.

Not for Dandelion.

Not for Yennefer.

Not for Triss.

Not even for Ciri.

Just for 3 chapters. 32 pages. The 32 pages that were based off my childhood.

I am utterly fascinated, with the fact that so many people are fascinated by my childhood... and I collect EVERYTHING, that anyone writes about those events, be they news reports in the Boston Globe, or fiction in a Polish Fantasy fanzine magazine.

I can't stand Geralt or Dandelion.

Both of them are the type of men who'd be waving $20,000 in the air and fighting to be first in line to rape a 12 year old.

Geralt and Dandelion are vile, perverted men, who if they were real, would be in prison where men like them belong. I deeply dislike that so many millions of people glorify Geralt and Dandelion, because vile, perverted, pedophile, rapists should never be glorified.

It's terrifying to look at today's society, and the wild craze of Geralt and Dandelion fans who flock to these vile, sexually devated, immoral men who take sexual advantage of women.

I do like Yennefer and can see her as a hero. She's a strong woman who fought against some terrible odds that life dealt her, and she adopted Ciri, and raised her when no one else would.

Like Avallac'h, Yennefer was kind and gentle and loving to Ciri. I like Yennefer for the same reason I like Avallac'h.

Though I also think Yennefer is kind of stupid. Geralt uses and abuses her something fierce, He's mean to her all the time. He outright admits he doesn't give a shit about her feelings and is going to fuck every woman he sees wither she likes it or not. She can do better. She deserves better. But in spite of how big of a dick he is to her, she stands by him, her heart breaking, knowing he'll never love her, never care about her, and will quickly toss her out of bed the first sight of a brothel.

Triss. I loath. More than any other character. She's an absolute total whore. Deviated sex crazed bitch who's doesn't give a shit about Geralt, but hates Yennefer so will stop at nothing to shove her ass in Geralt's face as much as possible just to spite Yennefer. A piece of trash not worth the bullet it would take to shoot her and rid the world of her slutty ass.

Ciri.... I wanted to like Ciri. o much of her life was based off of real world events that happened to me in my childhood.... but, Ciri's slut assed whoness make Triss look like a sainted Vestal Virgin. And believe me... that is NOT how a real world 12 year old acts. Not even close.

Sadly Andrzej Sapkowski did what the bulk of people fascinated by my childhood do... fetishized it, sexualized horrific child abuse into child porn erotic sex fantasies.

It horrifies me that Andrzej Sapkowski had the opportunity to take these horrific real world events and show them through Ciri's eyes.... ad instead of showing the world how vile, evil, and horrible those events were, how traumatizing the real girls involved were by what happened to them.... instead, he showed Ciri as a female version of Dandelion, slobbering in sex crazed lust for every penis she saw. (I'm still wondering how readers call Ciri's penis lust crazed obsession "lesbianism").

:(

It saddens me to no end, to see Avallac'h tell Ciri she's to have sex with King Auberon, and Ciri's response is to light up in joyful glee and say "Oh boy! You mean I get to have sex with the Alder King?"

A REAL 12 year old is going to run screaming from that situation. Not sex crazed penis lusting 12 year old Ciri. She joyfully and giddily ran all yippie skippies to jump in bed with the King, only to be enraged when the King is horrified to find out she's still a child and refuses to have sex with her, in spite of Avallac'h's insistence that Ciri has perfectly ripe ovaries at 12 years old.

And, while Avallac'h is initially unfazed by the thought of 12 year old Ciri having sex with 400 year old King Auberon... he backs off, changes his mind and tells Ciri to spend a few years enjoying living with the Elves instead, have a baby later when you're an adult.... and that just enrages 12 year old Ciri who decides to brutally and violently rape Avallac'h while screaming: "MAKE ME PREGNANT RIGHT NOW!"

Yeah... how many 12 year old girls do you know who do that?

Like I said, I wanted to like Ciri.

Every other page of Ciri's life, is ripped right out of the news reports of my life, so you'd think I could identify with her.

The problem is, I know what it is like to be in those situations and I know how I felt, and my reactions to those exact same situations was completely the polar opposite of Ciri's reactions in those situations, making her reactions unbelievable and alien to me, resulting in  simply can not identify with her.

I don't like the Witcher novels for the story.

I like them, for Avallac'h and Avallac'h alone.

There isn't anything else in the Witcher novels that I like.

The bulk of the Witcher novels are just endless immorality, prevention, and sex, and I don't like any of that.

I don't like anything in the Witcher novels that involves Geralt.

While I liked Geralt in the game... I absolutely loathe Geralt in the novels. He is vile on levels of vileness I don't even want anything to do with. After finding out how revolting, immoral, sexully deviated, and disgusting he was in the novels, I couldn't remove him from the game fast enough.

And you do have to remember, that I ONLY READ THE WITCHER NOVELS BECAUSE I WAS CONTACTED BY SOMEONE FAMILIAR WITH THE FBI CASE AND THEY ASKED ME TO READ THE NOVELS BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID SOMEONE INSIDE THE CASE HAD LEAKED INFORMATION TO THE PUBLIC.....

Yeah.... I was asked to read the Witcher novels to see if I thought Andrzej Sapkowski was one of the men who had been raping the little girls BECAUSE HE HAD SO MANY DETAILS RIGHT about the FBI investigation.

I do not like Fantasy novels.

I do not read Fantasy novels.

I only read the Witcher novels because information in the novels matched information in a murder investigation and they wanted to know if I thought he could have gotten his details THAT ACCURATE from just reading news reports or could he have been one of the men involved.

I never would have read the Witcher novels otherwise as they are not the types of books I normally read.

I did not go into reading the Witcher novels looking to have a fun time reading Fantasy.

I went into the Witcher novels with a fine tooth comb looking for the supposed connections it had to the murder trail I was involved in, because the question had been brought up.... do we need to contact this author and bring him into this court trail over the fact that he used so many details from the lives of these real people from a currently active murder investigation?

I went into reading the Witcher novels as research for writing up court documents, to see did he just read the news reports or was their info that he used that was not released to the public.

And no, everything he used in the novels, can be found in news reports, no evidence was found that he had any connection to the case outside of seeing news reports and being inspired to add those details to his novels.

And yes, that is how I got so obsessed with playing the game as well.

While I had played all 3 games previously, it was not until lawyers started suggesting many aspects were based off on news reports of my childhood, that I began replaying the game over and over, searching through every last inch of it to find out, just how far they dug into those news reports and how much did they use.

I don't understand why so many people have such a hard time believing it, but Avallac'h really is the ONLY thing I like about the Witcher novels.

Which I know is odd, given he's supposed to be partly based off the real world men who abused me, but like I said... he's so very different from the real world men he was based on: my uncles.

We real girls starved to death in cages, sleeping in feces. There were no lights. Total darkness in that room 24 hours a day for weeks on end, in total solitary confinement. And once the weekly outings to church stopped.... it was sometimes 6 months or more, between going outside of the cage, outside of that room (which, if you can stomach it... there are picture of, lower down on my profile... most people tell me they can't even look at the pictures of that room as it turns their stomach to see what I lived in for 27 years). The door to the room opened once every other week - to toss food scraps at me - a handful of food once every 12 days. No light. No one else in the room. Total solitary confinement. That was my punishment for asking the bishop for help one Sunday, the last Sunday I was ever allowed in church. I was starving to death, in pitch blackness, sleeping in feces, going month between hearing another person's voice.... that's the reality of that room, and what it was like to be a child in a child prostitution ring, who dared fight back and tried to escape to get help.

Ciri grew fat on pastries and slept in a bed covered with red silk and mink furs, with Avallac'h while he sang to her.... had our REAL WORLD experience in a child prostitution breeding program been like THAT, I doubt any of us would have tried to escape. Avallac'h and how he treated Ciri was a HUGE far cry from how real men running such a place treated the REAL child prostitutes.

Though we at 5 years old did get to wear sequin pageant dresses that outshine prom dresses, we only got to bath and wear those if a man paid to let us out of the cages to be raped by him. That was a mixture of excitement and dread... excited to finally get to wear clothes and look pretty, followed by the dread of why we were being dressed up like little 5 year old Barbie dolls.

Had we had someone like Avallac'h raising us. A kind, gentle, loving man who actually cared about and took good care of the girls in his care, our lives would have been very different. 

We girls, we needed someone like Avallac'h. A man who didn't beat us, didn't starve us, didn't lock us in cages, didn't torture us. We didn't have the lap of luxury that Ciri had. We were unloved, unwanted, beaten, tortured, caged, abused, starved, our unborn babies murdered. 

At 8 years old, we lived in total dread of giving birth to a female baby, because that meant having our stomachs crushed, our bones broken, to punish us for the sin of not giving birth to blue eyed blond boys that could be sold to wealthy Americans.

And had I grown up in different circumstances, I doubt I'd like the Witcher novels at all. Yeah... I like Avallac'h because he represents what our childhoods could have been. And that's the single, solitary, ONLY reason I like the Witcher series. Because I wish we'd been raised by a kind, gentle man like Avallac'h, a man who would not have killed our babies or starved us or beaten us or caged us. We needed a man like him who cared about us and didn't just see us as a means of making money.

And yeah, I do hate Ciri because she's an ungrateful bitch. There isn't a one of us girls who wouldn't have killed to be owned by a man like Avallac'h.

The men who owned us treated us like shit. Ciri is an ungrateful little bitch. She don't know how good she had it.

Most girls grow up dreading the man who will own them.

We get bought and sold by abusive bastards all the time.

Men don't care about the girls they buy. They care even less about us once we are adults.

Do you have any idea how rare it is to be bought by a man who is NOT going to treat you like shit. Who is NOT going to beat you?

It rare. It's very, very, very RARE.

Men are mean.

Men are cruel.

It is every girl's dream to be bought by a man WHO WILL NOT BEAT HER.

It is every girl's dream to be bought by a man WHO WILL NOT KILL HER BABIES.

It is every girl's dream to be bought by a man WHO WILL NOT PUT HER IN A CAGE.

Do you know what it is like to dream about being owned by someone who actually cares about you?

Avallac'h not only cared about her... he let her go outside!

Do you know how rare it is to be bought by a man who will let you go outside?

Ciri is a vile piece of shit. She had what every single girl dreams of having, and she destroyed it.

That's why I don't like Ciri. I'd kill to have the type of freedom she had. And she threw it away.

I think that's why I am in such awe over what ThingyChan did... it looks like, sees 24 years old, and no one seems to own her.

I don't know what the culture she is like is from, but it's bizarre to see a female run wild with sex talk like she does. Clearly she has no father, brother, male cousins, uncles, or a husband to beat her in the face with a brick and teach her some manners and decency.

I never trust wild women. I didn't realize she was one. Though that does explain quite a lot.

Her ill manners.

Her refusal to apologize for being a vile piece of shit and spreading all those slanderous BDSM fetish sex lies about me.

Clearly she is desperately in need of a man to take a brick to her head and put her in lie. No woman in Gypsy culture would dare talk about the vile, perverted BDSM sex talk she was saying about me, that's for sure. No man would let them talk like that.

I don't know... Americans like to talk about giving women more rights, but if ThingyChan is any example of what women are like when they don't have a man to keep them in line, I'm not sure I would want women having more rights. 

She's hurting a lot of people, and if she does have a man who owns her, he's certainly not doing his job, that's for sure.  A man who can't keep his women in check is just as bad as a man who abuses his women.

After seeing what she did, I think of ThingyChan as being like a wild rabid dog. A dog with a good owner, knows manners and respect and doesn't jump all over people who visit. A dog with a bad owner, runs and hide. While a dog with no owner runs around pissing on every corner and biting everyone. ThingyChan is like the dog with no owner, running around pissing on the corners of Discord and biting everyone she meets because she has no man to teach her otherwise, no firm hand to reign her in and make her behave. And, like any wild woman with no owner, she will continue to run wild, hurting people until a man steps into her life and teaches her some manners and dignity.

It's rather sad, really, when you stop and think about it... at 24 years old and no one has bought her yet? She's an old maid with no hope of ever being bought. Men don't pay good money for a 24 year old dried old prune. What viability does she have of giving birth to healthy babies at that age! 

Perhaps that's why she's so mean? I've seen that before. Not getting picked. It's generally considered quite bad if you reach the age of 16 and no man's bought you yet. That's almost as bad as reaching 14 with anything fewer the 4 babies.

24 years old, no children, no man, unbought, unloved, unpicked, unwanted, 10 years past her prime. No wonder she's so mean.

I could almost feel sorry for her, if she hadn't launched a 2 year long attack on my reputation, maliciously spreading hateful, slanderous sex lies about me behind my back while pretending to be my best friend the entire time she did it.

>>>I think it came out well. My writing experience has been very different.

STILL think you're experiences are so vastly different from the norm?

NOW, what was it you said again?

>>>I think it came out well. My writing experience has been very different.

How?

You say it is different, but is it.

I can guarantee MINE is different. But are YOU, really so different than you think. You say nothing to support this, and I'm left to wonder, why you feel different, when chances are high you are not.

You might want to rethink how different your experiences are, because your talking to someone who has ACTUAL different experiences, and can PROVE it.

PROVE your experiences are different from the norm and that's you're not just a whinny, annoying, spoiled, teenaged brat.

>>>People don't even know my background.

Only because you didn't tell them your background.

But did you consider, that you also don't know THEIR backgrounds and YOU are in fact judging them, just as much as they judged you.

>>>People don't even know my background.

You know mine now.

It's in your hands now to tell me yours.

>>>But anything can be improved..

Yes it can.

Keep telling yourself that and you might just one day believe it enough to stop writing emails like this which prove you don't believe it to be true.

>>>I truly believed it was in a good state overall, from a story perspective. But now since time has passed and from the feedback I've gotten, I've ideas to make it better but that's only natural.

.

From what you've said others have said, it sounds like the story is NOT the problem, the grammar is the problem, and you are too dense, arrogant, and egomaniacal to actually LISTEN to what they are saying.

Just take their advice and fix the shitty ass illiterate grammar and your story will be publishable.

>>>Also, I got into writing pretty past, and wrote it fast, and submitted it. I never knew about a lot of stuff. It all hit me like a train. And honestly, I'm happy for it. I see so many people stuck in stuff and questioning that do they have to follow this rule or that... I was free of it all..

Have you ever seen someone hit by a train? I have. I think you might want to use a different example. You kind of make yourself look retarded when you say things like that, so again, it's no wonder a TOR editor called you illiterate. You kind of are.

>>> I see so many people stuck in stuff and questioning that do they have to follow this rule or that... I was free of it all..

You most certainly are. You can't write grammar worth shit and you'll never be published because of it. But you are free of rules, that's for sure, and you look like a retarded, self-righteous brat because of it, but you have fun with that.

The rest of us writers, we know rules exist for a reason and we will continue to publish dozens of novels and you will continue to roll around in your own grammarless filth, complaining that no one will publish you because you are too much of a genius to be understood.

Sooner or later you'll fall off that high horse and see yourself the way others do and you'll wonder why you wasted so much time being the village idiot.

>>>And maybe I've attained a bit of that curse now, but overall writing is free and that's how it should be..

You don't know what a curse is do you?

Have you really never read a dictionary?

It is so painfully obvious that you have no clue how to use words on even the most basic of levels, largely because there are so many words you don't know the meanings of.

You NEED an education, BADLY.

An uneducated mountain hillbillie from the Ozarks could write grammar better than you.

Stop sitting around bragging how great your art is and get an education.

There is a hell of a big difference between being a true artist, and being too lazy to learn even the basics.

>>>

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