This week we should be celebrating the 9th birthday of my son.
Instead we are celebrating the 9th anniversary since his murder.
If you have any information, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322
ask for Agent Andy Drewer.
November 14, 2013 10PM @ Southern Maine Community College Art Studio Bug-Light Parking Lot: 3 strangers armed with golf clubs, attacked me from behind while I was loading bags into the backseat of my car. They were a blond woman 60s-ish whom the others called "Claire", a natural red-haired woman also 60sish who called herself "Kendra", and a bald man, football player-body-type-build in his 30sish. I was 8 months pregnant. They murdered my baby, ruptured 3 discs in my spine, shattered 3 vertebra, broke my pelvis, hips, and knees. I was paralyzed for 5 months and was 18 months relearning to walk. The nerve damage has left me with limited use of my hands, legs, bladder, and intestines.
On top of that, they have also taken to harassing the baby's father, a disfigured, homeless, WW2 veteran, whom they call "Etoile". They spread hateful rumours about him claiming he is a cryptid, a demon, or most often what they term "an amphibious alien". He lives in pine branch lean-toos he builds in Old Orchard Beach and Ocean Park, and they have been hunting the locations of them, tearing them down, and smashing up his belongings.
April 10, 2015 1PM at 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach Maine a gang of estimated 74 people, some of them wearing ku klux klan robes, invaded my farm, used a Blow Brothers sewage truck to pump 500+gallons of sewage into my motorhome flooding it to over the kitchen counters deep, ripped out all the cabinets and built in furniture, while 14 men armed with guns, held my family down on the ice and snow, with guns to our heads, and used cinder block bricks and a metal pole with metal wire loops to beat and behead 10 of my 12 foster children (the youngest age 4, the oldest age 16). May 15, 2015 they returned and nailed their heads to my front door. The 3 people of the November 14, 2013 attack were among the group.
September 12, 2015, 9AM a dozen+ of these same people arrived again in my driveway at 146, this time chanting: "Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach. Kill of be killed. Remember Saco Shaw's, Transgender Murder Store, kill the transvestites before they kill us all", one white haired man in a dark green pick up truck was leading the herd, while waving a rifle over his head and shooting at me and my pink motorhome, he shot several holes through my neighbour's shed. The crowd was accusing me of being a male-to-female "transgender terrorist" (they thought I was Muslim because I wear Catholic veiling).
June 26, 2016, the same 2 women of the first 2 attacks, arrived at my Scarborough WalMart workplace, and in a near repeat of the first attack, again while I was leaned over the back seat of my car putting bags in, this time they attacked with a chopping cart, re-injuring my spine, hip, and pelvis that was not yet fully healed from the first attack. The blond "Claire" woman was screaming "That's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband!" while the redhead screamed "I'm Kendra Silvermander it's my turn the shine!" They sped away in a early2000s-vintage gold Volvo SUV station wagon. This attack left me permanently crippled, and bedridden from 2016 until May 2022.
November 21, 2021: They shot "Etiole" in Biddeford, while he was staying at the tent-shanty-village with about 50 other homeless people along the Saco River in Biddeford. They made the claim he was a "suicide demon" citing that he was driving locals to suicide by putting "evil eye curses" on them.
These people murdered my baby, attempted to murder the baby's father, drove a backhoe over our house, and left me crippled for the rest of my life in their attempt to murder me.
I do not know who these people are. I never saw them before these attacks, and I've not seen them outside of these attacks. The police and FBI believe I was not the intended target, and that they were likely after my mother because of posts she makes on FaceBook and got us mixed up. The Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford Police and the FBI are seeking information leading to their identity and arrest.
These people who show up to vandalize, while they scream about aliens and demons and Etiole, prove how retarded they are by their own words.
Why?
Because only a retarded person believes in aliens.
Because only a retarded person believes in ufos.
Because only a retarded person believes in demons.
Because only a retarded person believes in ghosts.
Because only a retarded person believes in haunted cars.
Because only a retarded person believes in demon possessed cars.
Because only a retarded person believes in alien abduction.
The inbred insect locals of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine are too damned retarded to know how much of a fool they make themselves look when they run around calling my cars demon possessed, calling my husband an alien, and calling me an alien abductee.
More Info @ eelkat.com
Long detailed info on the over 200 attacks they have done between June 2001 and May 2022, including photos of them driving a backhoe over our house on August 8, 2013 and the details of the malicious "amphibious alien" rumour they have been spreading about a local homeless disabled veteran @
https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html
Images:
July 4th 2013: my car in front of my house.
August 8, 2013: me getting home from work to find a backhoe sitting on top of my house.
The FBI already found the people with the backhoe incident, and learned that the backhoe driver was paid $600 and given a fake demolition paper, the paper stating one of my relatives (the one who paid him the $600) owned my land. The backhoe driver was unaware that the man he was dealing with was not the owner. I have lived at 146 Portland Ave since 1975 and have owned the land since 1983, it has never been owned by anyone else, even though we have now learned that both my mother and my father and 3 of my uncles had been actively going around Old Orchard Beach claiming they owned my land.
This happened 3 months before my son was murdered and the police and FBI believe my son was murdered BECAUSE of this picture being posted on FaceBook, and my mother making inciting/inflammatory posts about it on HER FaceBook, where she falsely accused me of being a witch. The FBI and OOB police believe the golf club wielding woman of November 14, 2013, is somehow connected to the backhoe driving over my house incident.
Since the murder, 3 other different backhoes have invading my land to dig up my yard, looking for the grave of my son. There is a family cemetery on my land, the stones dating mostly in the 1500s and 1600s, with a few from the past hundred years, the most recent being my son in 2013. 146 Portland Ave has belonged to my family since 1530, and I inherited it in 1983 from my grandmother Helen Ricker Allen. The most recent backhoe attack happened September 19, 2020, when they illegally cut down several trees in my yard, and started construction of a road through my yard between my pink 1975 Dodge Sportsman motorhome and BackElder Brooke, again the backhoe digging up and destroying large portions of my farm, in their search for my murdered son's grave. They dug up 16 of the graves in this attack.
We have had to remove the grave markers from the family grave in order to stop these vandals and their illegally trespassing construction equipment from destroying the graves.
The FBI believes these construction crews are being hired by the golf club wielding women, and believe she is trying to destroy the grave of my son, due to a fear of his golf club smashed skull being used as court evidence against her.
The most recent attacks by these people occurred November 21, 2021 and March 27, 2022 when they attacked my painted Volvo while it was parked at my dad's apartment in Biddeford, both times the vandals also cut all the wires to electricity, internet, and cable off the apartment building, effecting all 9 families living there.
The Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford Police Departments as well as the Portland FBI are seeking any information regarding any and all of these attacks on my family, my home, my land, or my cars.
If you have any information, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322
ask for Agent Andy Drewer.
And no... to those who asked... the FBI is not looking for info on the 4-door white truck driver... the FBI has ALREADY ARRESTED the driver and owner of the 4-door white truck - 2 different people. The 4-door white truck was owned by Old Orchard Beach Town Hall clerk and Old Orchard Beach Police Department Dispather Kathy Smith, Relief Society President of the Saco Ward of the Agusta Stake Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Her son was the driver. They were both arrested and sentenced in 2017, and were also both excommunicated from the Mormon church as a result of their MANY hate crimes, which included but were not limited to the 4 door white truck attacks of 2013 to 2016.
Yes. A LOT of arrests have already been made. Do keep in mind the April 10, 2015 attack involved 74 people who were wearing Ku Klux Klan style white robes and pillow cases over their heads (which is how you can tell they were not real, actual Ku Klux Klan members as the REAL Ku Klux Klan wear miters on their heads, NOT pillow cases). There are in total MORE THEN 74 people actively being hunted down by twenty-one different Maine police departments, the Maine state police, the Florida State police, the Connecticut State police, and the FBI.
Since the backhoe attack of August 8, 2013, there have been a whooping 24 arrests JUST IN TWO CHURCHES:
The Saco Ward of the Augusta Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
and
The Sanford Ward of the Exeter Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints.
There have been additional arrests at the following three churches which all have the same owner:
Grace Point in Biddeford
New Life (aka That Church in front of WalMart) in Biddeford
and
Curtis Lake Church in Sanford
Due to the alarmingly high rate of arrests and prison sentences made at these 5 churches, the police and FBI have focused the bulk of their investigation on all members of these five congregations, with the bulk of the investigation being on the two Mormon churches and all friends, family, and relatives of the members of those five churches, as it is believed that ALL people involved in the murder and 20+ years of harassment of my family, are all members of these 5 churches and or friends, family, and relatives of these five churches.
To date, 64 of the 74 suspected white hood wearers of April 10, 2015, have commit suidice, four of which when killing themselves, also killed 5 or more members of their families with them at the same time. One of them was Old Orchard Beach Police officer Bruce Savoy, who killed his entire family and then himself.
The police and FBI believe there is a suicide pact between the 74 attackers who arrived April 10, 2015 on my farm at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine... as 64 of them have now commit suicide, between 2015 and 2023.
Additionally, Agent Andy Drewer was NOT the original FBI agent heading the case. Laura was. FBI agent Laura was murdered February 6, 2021, during her attempt to arrest a murder suspect who was in Florida at the time he murdered her. So in addition to murdering my son, these people have now also murdered an FBI agent.
People around local, seem to forget that what happened April 10, 2015, was not some local hick beating up one person... this was a large PREMEDITATIED ORGANIZED EVENT which drew in a CROWD of WELL OVER ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE to activly participate in beating to deth and beheading ten children, the oldest being aged 16 and the youngest being aged just 4 years old.
What the people of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, Maine did was monstrous on levels of extreemes.
And then when the FBI agents tried to arrest these people, they ganged up again on February 6, 2021 and murdered, not one, but THREE FBI agents.
This is an organized terrorist group that is activly killing people here in Maine.... and this Claire woman that murdered my baby, the one the FBI believes is the ring leader who has been organizing these events.... and when I say events... I was NOT the first family attacked.
According to the FBI, the April 10, 2015 attack was the ELEVENTH such attack to happen on Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine since June 2001.
And since the April 10, 2015 attack on my family, this VERY LARGE hate group has repeated this even seven more times, to seven more families all on just one street, all on Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine... in total, this extremist fanatical Christian hate group has murdered more then 120 CHILDREN, just on our one street alone.
And in every case, the grand of white hood wearers was chanting the same mantra: "Too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach, kill or be killed, remember Saco Shaws".
This terrorist group is murdering anyone on Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, whom they believe of being gay or transgender, whether or not they are gay or transgender.
These people are beyond evil. And this Claire woman is their leader, and she's the one the FBI wants.
If you have any information, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322
ask for Agent Andy Drewer.
I have a weird text message… from the woman, a relative who looks enough like me to pass for my twin…from the women, who keeps pretending to be me, the one who lat Aprile pretended to be me and tried to sell my land, the one who in 2007 pretended to be me and hired a guy with a backhoe to dig holes in my land under the guise of putting in a septic system that I never ordered… the woman who in 2013 hired the same back hoe to drive over my house…
the woman the FBI suspects of being the one who hired the golf club woman also in 2013 to cripple me nd murder my baby… the same woman who was in my yard April 10, 2015 again pretending to be me when she locked her cats in my motorhome, the same woman who took out 27 credit cards in my name and ran them each up to $20k max, me, who’s never had a credit card in my life because I can’t count or do math so also can’t do money or numbers, …. The same woman who creates several online accounts pretending to be me on those… that woman… just sent me a text message, wants me to go with her to Bug Light lighthouse tomorrow…
Uhm… Bug Light lighthouse art studio is where I was November 14, 2013, when the Claire and Kendra women broke my spine with a gold club… so, why does this woman who has a 50 year history of impersonating me… the woman who convinced half of Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford that she owned my land, and has half the locals convinced that SHE and not ME, is me… she, suddenly wants me to met with her at the exact location where the blond Claire and red haired Kendra women - whom the FBI are still trying to find out the identity of - crippled me 9 years ago… and she won’t tell me why.
Well, at the moment I am recovering from, a broken pelvis, so, I can’t get out of bed, I haven’t been able to get out of bed since December, it’s not February. So, even if I would meet up with her, which I wouldn’t, right now, I can’t anyways.
She’s an Atwater… yes, the sister of Bruce Atwater… you remember him, he’s the one who was a member of Heaven’s Gate, and is so obsessed with aliens, that he and her, she helped him by pretending to be me, yet again… went around with the whole “amphibious aliens” rumors, making the claim I was abducted by aliens, calling my husband Ben Wildes, an aliens, dubbing him Etiole… he is by the way, the guy you see walking my dog with me in Biddeford… so, yeah you locals have met and talked to “Etiole” quite frequently, he attends the Saco Ward Church or Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and spent 48 years as the High Preist Quarum Leader of the Sandford Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of atter Day saists, he left the Mormon church in May 2015, after our children were murdered… thhey were kidnapped April 10, 2015, the same day the impersonator bitch locked her ten cats in my motorhome and tried to pretend they were mine, called the police, the police, Will Watson specifically, took her cats, and did not arrest me, because, they weren’t my cats… then she spent the past 9 years running around saying they were my cats and because it happened the same day, she also tries to convince people that mychildren never existed and that her cats are my children… what the fuck? She’s a raving lunatic.
She’s the one who who runs around screaming “Mark and Dan this and Mark and Dan that” and I don’t know who the fuck her Mark or her Dan are, however, the psychotic gun totoing white haired man with a green pickup truck, regularly arrives in my driveway to yell at me a, claiming he’s Mark, while saying I’m deframing him, and I don’t know who the hell he is… but apparently, he’s the Mark she keeps talking about, and she’s fighting with him while claiming to be me, so now, he’s mad at me because of something she said, but I don’t even know who the hell he is or what he’s talking about.
This is the same woman who ran around cutting the internet and electric wires off my Biddeford apartment building in 2021, while screaming about Tod Murphy, and I still don’t know who Todd Muruphrey is yet… except she and her friends claim he was hit by an Amtrak train Nov 21, 2021 at 10PM, and you can check the police records, no one was hit by a train that day… However, as you all saw on my dog walking livestream on Nov 19, 2021 at 6:27pm, 4 women on bikes chased a homeless man on the the freight train tracks a quarter mile away from the Amtrak train tracks… I have it on video and I’m the one who called the police. Apparently, that’s the train accident she was talking about, be she had all the dates and times and names wrong, AND, for a full 8 months after that, I had to deal with her Atwater hoodlums and their friend vandalizing my car… they did more then $10k in damages, which yes, that why I don’t have my car again, in case you hadn’t noticed a 40 year old antique car is rather difficult to find parts for.
This woman… the one who does all of these things… oh yeah, by the way, you remember the woman who cut my 1964 Dodge 330 in half on May 9, 2010… yeah… same damn woman… and the same woman who took a fucking sledge hammer to my 1974 AMC Gremlin… that woman, the same one woman who has done ALL of these things… just sent me a text, wanting me to meet her at Bug Light lighthouse, where her Claire and Kendra buddies crippled me and murdered my baby 9 years ago.
No!
Fucking no!
Why can’t this bitch leave me and my family alone!
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER!!!
Bug Light? Really? The location where my baby was murdered and I was left crippled for the rest of my life?
Really. She wants me to meet her at Bug Light Lighthouse.
Why?
I don't know.
She won't tell me. It's all a big secret.
Everything's always a big secret with the Atwaters. Because everything has to be a secret with criminals. If their crimes get found out, they end up in jail. That's how criminal thugs operate. In secret. So she she can't do anything without it being some big grand secret.
Why do you want me to meet you at BugLight, the lcation where my baby was murdered?
It's a secret, I can't tell you, you just have to come and find out.
No.
For one thing my car is not here, because oh, fucking Atwater scum bags vandalized it.
For another thing, I have a broken pelvis, I have been able to get out of bed since a week before Christmas 2022.
This is the 3rd time my pelvis has rebroken, since it was originally broken by the golf club weilding Claire bitch at... oh, BugLight lighthouse!
This is the same woman and her Mark simp from the day the police showed up at my Biddeford apartment to ask:
Police: "You're EelKat, right?"
Me: "No, that's what people call me though. EelKats a fictional character from my books."
Police: "This is Biddeford, right?"
Me: "Uhm? Yeah?"
Police: "And I'm standing here in Biddeford right now, talking to you, right?"
Me: "Uhm? Yeah?"
Officer starts talking in his phone to officers Will and Robby of Old Orchard Beach Police Department: "Yeah, she's right here with me, I'm talking to her right now. Got her Autism car here and everything."
Will and Robbie: "Yeah, that's what I been saying. This isn't her."
Me: "What's going on?"
Police: "Wolfboy is trespassing on your property again…"
Me: "Wolfboy? Who's Wolfboy?"
Police: "Mark. We call him Wolfboy. He calls 911 a few dozen times a day. Constant false complaints about every one. Boy who cries wolf you know."
Me: "Who's Mark? I don't know anyone named Mark."
Police: "Town busy body. Gossips and complains about every one. He's a real pain in the ass. Pardon my French. Can't leave anyone alone."
Me: "Why is he in my yard?"
Police: "Citizens arrest. Says he's arresting you."
Me: "Me?"
Police: "Yeah. He's got some bogus court documents that say you are not allowed on your own property because you're gay."
Me: "I'm gay? How am I gay?"
Police: "Yeah. Well Wolfboy thinks everybody is gay. He's waiting for the gaypocalypse, you know?"
Me: "What's the gaypocalypse?"
Police: "He thinks us guys are going to mass murder all the Christians. We have to deal with his fake 911 calls reporting us gaaaaaayz all the time."
Me: "I take it you're gay?"
Police: "Ahyap, several of us on the department. We don't like jerks like Wolfboy. He harasses people like you all the time."
Me: "Like me?"
Police: "Disabled. He targets disabled women. Thinks it makes him a man. You might not remember me. I was the one who came with the ambulance. You know? I knew you were laid up in bed here and couldn't be in Old Orchard right now, seeing how you can't walk, let alone drive."
Me: "And you said he's in my yard right now?"
Police: "Yep. He says you hired him to dig a septic tank."
Me: "I what?"
Police: "Yeah, we know. We checked. It wasn't you. We got this woman who's impersonating you. She's the one he's trying to arrest right now. She hired him to dig a hole in your front lawn. She says she's EelKat. That's why I'm here, to make sure you are here in Biddeford and not in Old Orchard Beach, right now. Buddy Will and Robbie are dealing with it."
Me: "Why is there anyone in my yard? There should never be anyone in my yard!"
Police: "Yep, we know. Wolfboy and crew do this sort of thing every day. You have no idea how often we have to deal with his crew of chronic 911 false report complainers. Whole family's crazy."
Me: "So, you're telling me there are two people in Old Orchard, right now, on my land, fighting over my land, and one of them is claiming to be me?"
Police: "Yeah, that's the deal."
Me: "He says I hired him to build a septic tank?"
Police: "Yep."
Me: "Do I look like I can afford to have a septic tank built? I have twenty million in medical bills. I can't even walk! What would I even do with a septic system, my bladder and intestines don't work, I wear adult diapers because I can't even use a toilet! Why would I of all people have a septic tank put in?"
Police: "Yeah. I know. I don't think Wolfboy and crew know how crippled you are. That's why we knew whoever he had in your yard, wasn't you. I also, don't think he's ever met you. We showed him a picture of you, and he swears that it wasn't you. We showed him a picture of *name removed* and he says that's you."
Me: "She's not me."
Police: "We know."
Me: "She's been after my land for decades. Was trying to get it aways from Grammy Helen, before I inherited it."
Police: "Oh, we know. Police reports from your Helen Ricker go all the way back to the 60s. They been after the Ricker farm since before you was born. Wolfboy's bitten off more than he can chew this time. He don't know who he's dealing with. He never should have gotten messed up with the Bacon Street Gang."
Me: "Bacon Street Gang?"
Police: "Ahyep. That's who Wolfboy has got tangled up with."
Me: "Who's the Bacon Street Gang?"
Police: "A gang. Think of them as kind of like the local Mafia, only worse. Most of them are doing time for murder. A few of them are out now. I don't think Wolfboy knows that's who he's dealing with any more than he knows who you are. He wouldn't be down there right now claiming she's you if he'd ever actually met you face to face."
That woman and that Mark, are the ones behind most of the rumors and misinformation spread about me.
The woman I know. She's a relative, with a long list of mental health problems.
Her Mark buddy, that the local police call Wolfboy, I don't know. I've never seen him. Never met him as far as I know. Obviously he's some friend of hers, probably one of her exs as she has a lot of them. She's got a bad reputation for slutting around with married men and breaking up families.
But all these wild alien abduction, transgender, ufo, nutcase rumors that get spread about me, whenever I ask "Who told you that lie?" They always say it came from her, my Uncle Bruce, or some guy named Mark.
And clearly this Mark guy is talking about her, but he uses MY name when he does it, because he's convinced she is Me. It's incredibly obvious this Mark guy has never met me and has no clue he's being scammed by her. But it is incredibly annoying because, I'm the one who is crippled for the rest of my life because some blonde bitch named Claire beat me up with a golf club at Southern Maine Community College Bug Light Art Studio on November 14, 2013, while screaming "Kill or be killed, gotta kill the transvestite freaks before they kill us all!" I was 8 months pregnant. That mystery Claire bitch not only left me crippled, she also murdered my baby. Why? Because this mystery Mark guy runs around calling me transgender and gay even though I'm not trans or gay. And he's only doing that because this nut job Atwater woman who pretends to be me, is after my land, so she runs around doing crazy ass shit while pretending to be me, in order to start the crazy ass rumors in the first place!
This Claire woman is the one the FBI is looking for information on. Because no one knows who the hell she is. She's just some random nut job who clawed out of the woodwork and showed up at college one day to attack me and kill me baby, while screaming utter insanity. The guy with her called her Claire, beyond that we've no clue who she is.
This Claire woman is the one wanted for murder, agitated assault, and owes me $20million in medical bills. If she's ever identified, she's also got life in prison for murder to look forward to.
No, I can not identify her: I am blind.
Did you forget I am blind? I've been blind my whole life.
I am legally blind. I can not see faces, not even if you are close to me. I can not make out the colour of skin because there is so little variation in colour from light to dark. I can only identify the attackers by their hair colour, because I am blind and can no see their faces. That is why I do not know who these people are. I'm blind. I've been blind since I was 8 years old. I can only identify people by their scent and the sound of their voice. Yes, the golf club woman attacked a blind pregnant women, and the FBI needs help to identify her because, I'm blind, I can only id her by the sound of her voice, and I've only encountered her twice...
November 14, 2013 when she crippled me with a golf club and murdered my babyat SMCC, and June 26, 2016 when she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarboror WalMart, she drove away in a gold volvo station wagon. The first time 2 people were with her and they called her Claire. The 2nd time only the red haired woman was with her, and she was screaming "My name is Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine!"
I do not know what the faces of wither the blond Claire who drove a gold volvo wagon or the redhair Kendra Silvermander are because I'm blind... I can see exactly 8 inches from my nose, I can't even see the ground to see my own feet. That's why the FBI is in need of witnesses to come forward and identify the 2 women who murdered my baby.
I'm blind, I don't know what they look like, I only know them by their voices.
If you have any information, about the Claire bitch who murdered my baby at BugLight Lighthouse on November 14, 2013, please call FBI Portland Office @ 207-774-9322
ask for Agent Andy Drewer.
I am severely disabled. I have been since November 14, 2013. I was paralyzed for 5 months. It took me 18 months to get out of a wheelchair. It's been 9 years and I'm still using a cane and walker to get around, but, after standing and walking for an hour or two, I collapse and have to be carried back to bed, where I end up staying for days, sometimes weeks, before I can attempt to stand up again.
And since that happened, there have been a lot of local rumores.
Plastic surgery reconstructed my face, but I noticeably don't look the same as I did for 40 years prior to becoming disabled. And this has led to a lot of local rumors... people call me a demon, or demon possessed, or an alien, or say I was abducted by aliens and that's why I look different.
Welcome to Maine, where the average person believes aliens and demons are real, and think nothing of driving a backhoe over my house, because im just a demon who deserves it, they vandalized my car repeatedly every few months I who am already disabled and severe difficultly getting out and to the store, have even less ability to get out when my car is in the shop for repairs months to a time, multiple times a year.
This is the reality of how we horrifyingly disabled people are treated, at least here in Maine.
Being attacked in the college parking lot by 3 strangers with golf clubs is what dramatically changed my appearance. Doctors, plastic surgeons, rebuilt my face as best as they could, and they did a very good job all things considering. My vertebrae are broken in such a way that my spinal column is severed and so I have almost no use of my left hand and arm, I have no control over my bladder or intestines so have to wear adult diapers. And Doctors can't operate on this injury because there is an 80% chance of me becoming paralyzed from the neck down if they even attempt surgery.
I have been sent to the top neurological surgeons in America and they've all said, they wouldn't dare take the risk of doing the surgery.
I have been 9 years, actively studying everything I can find on the subject of spine surgery. I follow every medical journal, hanging on every update, watching and waiting for the day, when surgery advances to the point that it is an option for me.
Interestingly, as a side effect of this, I started reading and watching Horror genre, something I did not previously do. Things like The Island of Dr Moreau have become my favorite books and movies. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it is because I can identify with the characters who have those radical body changing surgeries in those books and movies.
In short, I have become fully obsessed with studying all aspects of radical surgery, both real and fictional, in some sort of hope of finding, something, anything, that will help me walk again.
THIS is what this Claire woman with the gold Volvo station wagon did November 14, 2013... and made worse when she attacked the second time June 26, 2016.
The Claire woman with the gold Volvo station wagon, not only murdered my son, she completely destroyed my life, my health, my ability to function on even the most basic levels.
I can't walk, my baby is dead, there's a giant fucking hole in my yard that looks like a Moon crater, and I'm homeless because a fucking backhoe drove over my house.
And because I was paralyzed for 5 months, and spent 18 months relearning to walk, and still can't walk on my own now 9 years later, I also have $20million in medical bills, which is why I can't afford to rebuild my house.
In the meantime, some jackass with a green dump truck that has a black and silver striped nose, dumped hundreds of loads of garbage, actual literal black bags of garbage that he stole from the town dump, and dumped them in my yard. Do you know how much garbage he dumped in my yard? It was one hundred and seventy three feet long, thirty feet wide, and twelve feet tall… yes, the pile of garbage was 173 feet long, 30 feet wide, and 12 feet tall… and it cost me $12k March 2015 to have a garbage company come in and haul it away.
What the fuck?
And you know what the police said? They think this woman and her Mark buddy are having a fuel, but because she's convinced him that she is me, and he's never seen me, so he doesn't know she's not me, that the police think, he's the one doing all the harassing of me and my family, but he thinks he's harassing her and her family and doesn't know he's harassing the wrong people, because she gave him my address as her address.
So, I'm being harassed by some guy who is a total stranger to me, because he's mad at some psycho bitch who was pretending to be me.
And because of all this, I'm crippled for the rest of my life, my baby is dead, a backhoe drove over my house, and then on April 10, 2015 my 10 foster children were kidnapped, and then on May 15, 2025 there heads were nailed to the door of my big pink motor home. So, now not only am I homeless and crippled, but my family has been murdered as well, all because some bitch impersonated me spreading weird ass alien abduction lies, weird as transgender lies, and weird ass gay lies about me, because for some reason she thought that would get her my land, and in doing so, she passed off some guy who went psycho serial killer on me, while thinking he was attacking her.
Yeah.
And so, two criminal ass thugs are funding with each other, and now I'm homeless and crippled and my family is dead, and the FBI is here now, and according to them, me and my family was never the target, me and my family got attacked by mistake because at the start of all this, some ufo nut, thought it would be funny to impersonate me and try to make it look like I believed in aliens, because this whole thing started because of some phoney ass alien abduction ufo haunted car hoax started by my uncle Bruce back in the 1990s, because he was mad, that Stephen King filmed The Thinner movie on my land, and my uncle Bruce was mad that he didn't get to be in The Thinner movie.
All of this started because Stephen King filmed a movie in my yard almost 50 years ago, and an uncle of mine was jealous, so he had his sister, pretend to be me to start some crazy ass alien abduction rumors, her running around claiming she was me while claiming to be abducted by aliens, while dubbing my husband as "etiole" and "amphibious alien", because in their minds that was some kind of revenge porn for not being in a Stephen King movie, and they've spent almost 40 years running with their alien abduction hoax, adding more and more to it all time time, including to start calling me a transvestite... and then, these people who used to live in Utah, my uncle and his sister, come back here to Maine to run around spreading the alien and trans rumour on a local level around Old Orchard Beach and Biddeford, because, I have no ide why... they are just pure evil, and evil things like this are what hate filled evil people do.
Jealousy and hate. That's what fuels her. Pure raw jealousy and hate.
And my family is dead, my house is gone, and I'm crippled, all because some uncle of mine, whom I never even knew before any of this started, wanted to be in a Stephen King movie, and wasn't in a Stephen King movie and for some reason that was justification for all of this.
I don't get it.
The Atwaters are just hate filled, evil scum. You can't do something like this and be anything OTHER than pure evil scum.
Buglight lighthouse is where my baby was murdered on November 14, 2013 by the Kendra Silvermander and Claire bitch duo... why would I want to go there?
What the hell is she even thinking?
Every one who knows me knows my baby was murdered at Buglight lighthouse the beach behind the art studio at Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, on November 14, 2013, the same event that left me crippled for the rest of my life.
So why in the hell would anyone dare ask me to meet them at fucking Buglight lighthouse?
How much more evil can you be?
Update: February 19, 2023
??? Weird. ...
So, I just got a flurry of weird text messages… about FabeBook posts? I’ve not seen said posts, so I don’t know exactly what they says, but I’ll respond to the text messages about said posts:
ONE... who is in my yard? It's certainly not me, I broke my pelvis a week before Christmas and haven't been out of bed in 3 months. There should never be anyone in either of my yards, not the one in Biddeford nor the one in Old Orchard...
TWO... when did my cousin Danny die? First I heard of it. Last I knew he was living on a farm up by Heath road in Saco. I haven't seen him since a few years before the grease fryer bomb blew up my house, that happened on October 16, 2006... so it was sometime before 2004 last time I saw Danny. Didn't know he died. That's sad. I liked Danny. He was one of the few good Atwaters...
Three, uhm, what garden? My land in Old Orchard is bare ledge. Not even any soil to plant anything in. It's been that way for nine years. When the backhoe drove over my house August 8, 2013, it also came in with a green dumptruck and strip mined my land, they stole all of my roses, apple trees, grapes, blueberries, and flowers, and took all the top soil down to over six feet deep, strip mined my farm down to bare shale and granite. It would cost over $three-million dollars to buy new top soil to replace what the vandals stole, and I don't have that kind of money, so I've not had a garden since, no vegetables, no flowers, nothing, can't plant anything on bare ledge....
so, yeah, weird, this latest rumor, which states I stole something from Danny's grave to put in my garden. Seeing how, I didn't even know Danny died and I also don't have a garden.
........... Update February 22, 2023
So, because I didn't know Danny died, people have started sending me these long lists of Atwaters whom have died since 2015... apparently there are well over 30 - thirty - dead Atwaters, none of whom I knew had died, and many of whom, I never even heard their names before. I'm told they are largely from the Utah division of the Scottish Traveller clans. But I did notice, half of the original twelve are dead? Is that true? No one told me any of this. I had no clue. It says here that uncle Peter and his wife, Bobby's wife Cathy, and even my uncle Brucie are all dead? When did all this happen and why did no one tell me? There a bunch of cousins, second cousins, and thrid cousins on the list too, but I've never heard any of their names before I have no clue who any of them are.
There also seems to be some weird thing where they are saying no one ever told them my son was murdered November 14, 2013... my mother, my father, my step father Wade, aunt Barbara, uncle Dickie, uncle Brucie, cousin Danny, and Danny's wife Amanda all knew about this. Barbara showed up at the hospital and tried to get me to join her in some stupid ass medical scam she said she was running via her EMT job, she wanted me to be some poster child for some medical scam website she was running, she said she could get more money if she had a real cripple on her website. Dickie and Brucie were both at my Water St apartment the night it happened and they were mad that the police showed up to question my family and found them there with my daddy and some private detective, I don't know who the private detective was... according to the FBI agent in charge of the murder investigation, my dad hired the private detective to trail my mother and her then husband Wade, and Dickie and Brucie were helping my father with that.
Barbara, Dickie, and Brucie were all at the hospital November 2013, when I was paralyzed.
Barbara knew I was in a wheelchair, because in 2014, at Saco Shaw's, she stopped to talk to me, while I was shopping and in the wheelchair.
I'm also being told most of them are claiming they didn't know a backhoe drove over my house. Uncle Joey in Australia, not only knew about the backhoe driving over my house, by the FBI has copies of the $600 wire he sent to the backhoe driver. My father is the one who forged the demolition permits, with some guy named Dan who I never heard of before.
Also, you remember Barbara's ex Paul Martal... do you know what he's in prison for? FBI arrested him in 2016, for not one, but many bombs that he built, including the bomb that blew up my house October 16, 2006 and wait for it... the Boston Marathon bomb in 2013, he built it and sold it to ISIS.
The Atwaters claiming they know nothing of the 2006 bomb, is a lie, considering the FBI arrested some of them for it.
The Atwaters claiming they knew nothing of the backhoe driving over my house August 8, 2013, that replaced the bombed house, is a lie, because because Joey is the one how organized and funded it and he's going to straight to prison if he ever sets foot in America again, the FBI is ready to arrest him the moment he sets foot outside of Austraila. They have uncovered all the evidence they need to do so.
Barbara posted the message on my FaceBook wall: "The next head nailed to a door will be yours", she posted that message May 14, 2015... the DAY BEFORE my foster children's heads were nailed to the door of my motorhome. I didn't know she posted that message... the FBI agent, had screenshots of it that he had made, he showed them to me in June 2016... I didn't know she had posted that on my wall.
Yvonne and Shem, posted on my FaceBook wall more then two hundred pictures of themselves holding various guns, and on every post they wrote the words: "This is the gun I'm going to kill you with." Again, I did not see the posts, because I was in the hospital, paralized, I was paralyzed 5 months, I was 18 month relearning to walk... I've been bedridden for the last 9 - NINE - years... I found out about the death threats Shem and Yvonne were posting when an FBI agent, the one, who is now dead. Larua, she was murdered February 6, 2021... arrived, at my 6x8 tarp that I was living under in my yard... she arrived, with a huge stack of printed out screenshots of death threats posted by them, along with 27 FaceBook accounts all owned by Brucie, most of them using variations of Doris's name... all 29 of those accounts spent the entire of 2014, 2015, and 2016 DAILY posting death threats on my FaceBook wall, and often mentioned the November 14, 2013 murder of my son, the August 8, 2013 backhoe, and the April 10, 2015 SWAT team... the SWAT team being something I never mentioned online... also... the police department is in search of a VERY UNIQUE murder weapon that was used in the May 15, 2015 beheadings, and the crackhead Camilla, the cocaine dealer for the Bacon Street Gang, who is an Atwater, has been since October 2021 showing up on my Biddeford front porch to gibber about... that murder weapon... the police and the FBI never released to the public what the murder weapon was, because it is a VERY UNIQUE one of a kind hand made item. And yet, MANY of the Atwaters... 23 of them, showed up in my Biddeford driveway January 8, 2021 to gibber about that murder weapon while also chanting "God-King-Trump".
January 15, 2021, a few days later, the fbi shows up with half the fucking plice department, here at my biddeford apartment, said they followed lucy and barbara up here from some attack on the president in washington dc and wanted to know if U'd seen them? what the fuck? I have no clue. I've not see Lucy since 1994 and I've not seen Barbara since 2013 the day she tried to get me to join her weird medical scam plot. But according to the FBI... they were watching my Twith livestream tht day, so they saw the "God King Trump" chanters, as did all of my viewers, I was live and my webcam faces the driveway window so, they were chanting "God-king-trump" on my Twitch livestream... according to the FBI, those 23 people were Lucy's crew and the had stolen stuff from the White House, and were carrying the stolen white house stuff while chanting in my driveway... the FBI wanted to know if I recgonined any of them, and I didn't, the FBI had tons of pictures of them, and I don't know who any of them were... but according to the FBI, they are the adult children of several of my cousins, via Lucy and Barbara's kids. What the hell?
I am so sick and tired of the FBI showing up here and questioning me every few weeks, because of some fucking ass shit Barbaras family is doing, when I don't even know Barbara's family! I haven't babysat for her kids since I was 12 years old and that was fifty fucking years ago!
Tell me, how do so many Atwaters have inside information about the murder weapon that was used to behead my ten foster children on May 15, 2015... when those police records are sealed, were classified by the FBI, and only me, 6 FBI agents, 3 police officers, and of course the murderer, know what the murder weapon was?
I don't know who contacted the FBI... it wasn't me. I assume is was police officer Will Watson as he was the original head of the police investigation. And yet, I have many THOUSANDS of hate emails, hate snail mail letters - hand written and signed by Atwaters, accusing me of sending the FBI to "snoop in on them" as they put it. Good god! The FBI is over here interigating me 2 or 3 times a fucking month! The Atwaters act like they are the only ones who have to deal with FBI agents hanging around all the time! At least with me the FBI are here trying to help solve a crime, not interigating me of being a criminal... my fucking son was murdered! Atwaters bitching about the FBI questioning them, well maybe they shouldn't be posting death threats all over my FaceBook wall constantly none stop, the same week my sn was murdered, but that's what they are being questioned about.
I never sent the FBI anywhere... I don't control the FBI, and anyone who thinks that is got some serious mental retardation issues.
I didn't even know the FBI was actively going from Atwater to Atwater questioning them, and I wouldn't have known, had the Atwaters not been writing long hate letters and mailing them to me.
My son was murdered in 2013... it was 3 years later, when the FBI showed up to talk to me, for the first time, and yet they informed me, they'd been on the case for three years at that point and had some pretty daming evidence, about one Atwater: Paul Martal, whom I've never met, didn't even know he existed... he got 14 years in prison for the 2006 bomb that blew up my house. But what the FBI wanted to know was: Why me? It appeared he didn't know me any more than I knew him. According to the FBI, Paul Martal was in heavy contact with 2 people, and the FBI believes it's one of them, who hired the golf club woman to murder my baby November 14, 2013...
...and the problem is, I've not mentioned it to the family, The Atwaters, so they don't know, not even my parents know, but on September 12, 2021, there was another attack. I've not released any details, nor have the police or the FBI, One of the biggest ones yet. The FBI pointed out one thing... the attacks stopped when one of te two primary suspects died. They said they had reason to believe the one, of the two suspects, whom they believe murdered my son, died... so how did the the September 12, 2021 attack happen?
When that attack happened the FBI asked me to repaint paint my car: put the info from 2 different events, with the dates reversed, to see WHO would notice it was wrong. Someone DID notice it was wrong: Crackhead Camilla, cocaine dealer of the Bacon Street Gang, she showed up on my Biddeford porch less then ten hours after I painted my car. She noticed the incorrect date for the incorrect event... and she has said WHO told her... and it was one of the three people who arrived at the hospital November 2013... except, 2 of those 3 people are now dead, and the one she's naming, is the one still alive.
Who is it, who runs around telling people I believe in aliens? That same person. I don't believe in aliens. I'm the one who proved aliens and alien abductions to be a hoax, did that in 2007, posted my findings proving aliens a hoax here: https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html
Who is it, who runs around claiming I say things about Utah Atwaters, people who I've never heard of, people I've never met? That same person.
Whose husband is right now sitting in prison for building the bomb that blew up my house? That same person.
Camilla was the bridesmaid of who? That same person.
Who KNEW I was paralyzed for 5 months, 18 months in wheelchair, and 9 years serverly crippled, bedridden... but neglected to tell anyone in the family? That same person.
Who is it, who is right now spreading rumors and lies about me, my brothers, and my mother, all over FaceBook? That same person.
Do you know what gaslighting means? Look at what she's doing. It's called gaslighting. It means she is trying to cast doubt on the victims, in order to make the victims look guilty, as a way to try to hide, her own crimes.
Ask yourself why you didn't know my son was murdered?
Ask yourself why you didn't know I was attacked by a blond woman with a golf club, left for dead, almost died, and have been crippled on paraplegic levels ever since?
Ask yourself why you didn't know I was paralyzed for 5 month?
Ask yourself why you didn't know I was in a wheelchair for 18 months?
Ask yourself why you didn't know my foster children, where not only murdered, but their heads were nailed to my door?
Ask yourself why you didn't know when Barbara, Brucie, and Dickie were all at the hospital, and knew what had happened. Why didn't they tell any of you? Why did they pretend not to know? Why did they hide for the rest of the family, what had happened to me?
Here's an important thing to ask: Why did none of you know the FBI was here investigating a very brutal murder that coincided with a LOT of harassment, vandalism, and hate crimes that were on levels of alarming extremes?
It's called impeding and FBI investigation.
Someone, in the Atwater family, has been very actively lying to all of you about what happened to me and my family... why? What is their motive? If they have nothing to hide, then why arethey bending over backwards to try to keep every one of you from finding out what happened to me, my son, my house, my yard, and my foster children?
Why?
Only the person doing these crimes, who any motive to try to cover them up.
Only the person who murdered my son, would have any motive to go out of their way to do everything in their power to try to make you forget he ever existed.
Only the person who did these things has any motive, to try to cover it up.
Only the person behind my son's murder has a motive to try to convince you I believe in aliens, when it's damn well documented that I don't believe in aliens.
Think about that, next time an Atwater starts spreading rumors about me, my mother, my father, my brothers, my husband, my dead children, or my dead son.
Also... who is it who told you that I knew about all these deaths in the family? Was it one of the three people who was at the hospital and knew what happened to me, but never told you all?
Also, yes... I have noticed that Dickies supposed death date is a full 3 months before he was at the hospital, before he was visiting my dad with Brucie and and having a meeting with the private investigator about Wade Witen... that's puzzling... but then again Brucie had faked his own death 4 times since the 1980s, each time to invade IRS fraud, so the Atwaters do have a history of faking their deaths. I know this because the FBI has all that info too and when interviewing me, they wanted to know if I was aware of the faked death, by 3 of the original 12 Atwaters... yep, three of the brothers have faked their deaths multiple times. So... when you people tell me Dickie and Brucie are dead, yeah, I kind of don't believe you.
Also, Barbara is the one going around telling everyone that Danny is dead and his grave is being vandalised... several people have told me that Danny is dead, his grave was being vandalised, and I a bedridden crippled, was being blamed for the vandalism, and I asked each of these people who told them this, and every one of them stated they recieved either a rtext, post, comment, email, or phone call from Barbara, some said she told them face to face in person... near as I can tell NO ONE other then Barbara os saying Danny died, no one other then Barbara is saying his grave is vandaised, and no one other then Barbara is saying I did it... also newsflash... my camera runs 24/7/365 ever since the day my foster children's heads was nailed to my door, so I can prove where I was and what I was doing every minute from May 16, 2015 to right now. The camera runs 24/7 in hopes of catching the murderer returning to attack again. Smile... if you've ever said anything to me online or offline, I have video footage of you doing it.
In case you've forgotten who Barbara is, besides being Bruce's sister, she's the 2 year old girl who was run over by this car. https://www.eelkat.com/images/1964dodge330_theGoldeneagleWorldsMostHauntedCar.jpg My 1964 Dodge 330 the one that was cut in half on May 9, 2010 by raving lunatics of the Saco Ward church calling it demon possessed. She's the one who started the rumor that the car was haunted, possesed by a demon and tried to kill her. The car used to belong to Dr Larochell, who paid Barbara $20k to stop her from spreading rumors about his car. Her rumours about his car got so bad that locals started attacking him, so in 1975 he sold the car and I bought it specifically to prove that it was niether haunted demon possessed and Barbara was just delusional and trying to get attention.
After I proved the car not haunted, I let a local elderly homeless man sleep in the car at night, while the car was parked behind my barn, 175 feet from the road in the forest where it could not be seen from the road, so no one knew the WW@ veteran was sleeping in my car... until that is, in 1978, Barbara tresspassed on my land, found him there, declared him first a demon, then in the 1990s started calling him "The Amphibious Alien"... Barbara is the only Atwater who ever learned French and guess what, she is also the one who coined the name "Etiole" and started calling the homeless WW2 vet "Etiole" and she is the one who has been vocal in instigating EVERY SINGLE attack on Etiole and my 1964 Dodge 330.
Also, do take a look at Barbara... we look alike, she and me... we can almost pass for twins. And what keeps happening around locally? People keep saying they are encountering me doing and saing things in places I've never been to, to people I've never heard of!
Also, every time I go outside, people - ttal strangers - keep coming up to me and asking me why I am emailing them stuff about aliens, and newsflash: I don't even use email! What the hell? I couldn't eail some one even if I wanted to!
In November, this guy comes up to me, he's about 90 years old and carrying this massive stack of sheets of paper - like 300 sheets, it's an entire reem of paper, and he starts waving it around and says it's print out of all the emails I sent him just in the past week, he says he gets more then three thousand emails from me on a daily basis and it's all crazy stuff about aliens... I looked at the papers and, the emails are coming from tons of emails with the word "eelkat" in the name, but they aren't mine. I'm not sending these things out to people and I don't know who is... but I do know who has a history of impersonating me with emails: Barbara!
In 1996, she started an email war with the Atwaters, with two emails, one that she said was heres, and one that she said was mine.
At that point... I had never had contact with an American, or TV, or electricity... I had never heard of computers or internet or email... he email war, was her, impersonating me, and sending hundred of hate filled emails to my aunts, uncles, and counsins... I found out about it a year later when Bishop Paul Morgan of the Cape Elezabeth Ward (no, not the Portland Ward, but yes the same building) called me in to his office one day, to ask why I was sending so many hundreds of emails about aliens and alien abductions to him and 750 other members of the church. No that's not a typo... seven hundred and fifty members of the church...
I had 3 questions for Paul Morgan:
1: What's email?
2: What are aliens?
3: What's alien abduction?
I had never heard of those 3 things before.
Paul Morgan had print outs of those emails, and it took me over a month to read those more then six thousand sheets of paper, but I read every one of them.
Paul Peterson, administrative director of Pine Land Center Insane Asylum... he showed up at church a few weeks later, yeah... turns out, several Atwaters used to be, how shall we call it... straight jacketed in padded cells because they were insane... and Pine Land Center, government run mental health institute, lost funding, shut down, in... oh look... 1996... and literally just let formally straight jacket nut cases, walk free out the front door. It's not hard to find out who the inmates of Pine Land Center were... the micro films are available in New Gloughster. So, yeah, that evidance exists and says a lot.
ALL of the rumors about me, my mother, my father, my brothers, my husband, my cars... all the Demon rumors, all the alien rumors, ALL of it... every single rumor, all the way back to the 1960s... all of them, were started by one person, Barbara, because, she was the 2 year old girl who was hit by that car, and she's pissed that I bought it, and she's even more pissed that Stephen King, my neighbour at the time, made a movie about it... did you know my real name is Christine and that's why the car is named Christine in the movie, even though the real car was named The Goldeneagle.
After Christine, Stephen King returned to film Thinner on my farm, and THAT is why, Barbara, has had endless amounts of jealosue rage and hatred for my farm, my land, my house... did you know I've rebuilt my house 5 times now... the backhoe has driven over THREE houses on my land, we keep rebuilding and it keeps coming back... but before the backhoe there was the bomb... and who did the FBI arrest for building that bomb again? Barbara's husband Paul Martal. That's what he went to prison for. He built the bomb that blew up my house, the FBI found him with the bomb parts in his house and car.
That's why, I always ask, when these weird rumors about demons and aliens show up... who told you? And EVERY SINGLE PERSON, EVERY SINGL TIME... they always say: "Barbara told me", "Baraba said it" , "Barbara called me" , "Barbara emailed me"... and so, I'm not surprised to find out that the rumors flying around this week, are once again, started by the same person who always starts them: the pissed off now adult, 2 year old girl, who 60 years ago was run over by the world's most haunted car, and is the one who both declared it haunted and dubbed the homeless man living in it as "Etiole"
Know your sources people. Do your background checks. Find out if the one spreading the rumors about me, might actually have a motive. Barbara REALLY hates that car. And at the core, her hatred of that car, her rage that Stephen King made it famous, is the cause of everything.
But guess what: Barbara and Brucie and their fucking endless jealose rage, is why I'm crippled, why my son is dead, why I've had to rebuild my house on my land five fucking times now... I'm not bothering any of them, I never have , and I don't know why they are bothering me! I want those bastards to fucking leave me, my family, my cars, my land, and anything else of mine alone.
Uhm… okay… so, a member of the Sanford ward church was just in a rage yelling at me about the drug raid across the street last year at the missionary apartment and this being the 18th anniversary of the dead girl in the Scarborough marsh… and, I'm not sure why they are yelling at me about it…but they were mad saying: "Why is the FBI here talking to you about the dead girl in Scarborough. You aren't family."
Uhm… no, but I am the one who found the body and called 911 to report it. And I've had to deal with police and FBi questions in regards to her death for the past few decades every single time they get a lead they show up and ask me:"So tell us once again what you saw." And I tell them yet again about the girl with no head, the thirty dogs with no heads, and that, I never saw her or the dogs before.
I was driving to work and they were all laid out ritual like in the road, not a one of them had any heads. Not the girl, not any of the dogs.
First experience with headless bodies… but far from the last. And police and fBi believe the killer was there and saw me call 911 and that's why my 75 pet roosters had their heads cut off and their bodies tied in rope nooses and hung in my Orchard fruit trees and rose bushes shortly after.
I can show you where ever body was the girl and the dogs. The first one was at the Ross rd Portland rd intersection at the light by where the medical building is now. The next one was at the Eastern trail Bridge just before the rv center. There was another at the cascade rd intersection by the flea market... they continued like that all the way to the Scarbourogh marsh. All black dogs, mostly Rottweilers and black labs, more than 30 of them, leading in a path to the dead girl. None of them had heads. Not the girl or the dogs.
It was after dark, I was on my way to Macy's.
The fbi says they think it was the same person who beheaded my cousin Murphy in 2013, beheaded 75 of my roosters and hung them from nooses in trees in 2007, murdered my son in 2013, and beheaded my mother's cats in 2015... he says there were 11 other beheading like this between 2001 and 2015 all of them invloving a huge amount of pets, mostly dogs and cats, but also birds and horses… in title more then 500 pets just on Portland Ave in old Orchard beach alone, the first one was a German Shepherd in June 2001 whose head was hung on the bucket of his owners bulldozer, and there have been 7 more since 2015 to 2021, all on Portland Ave, Ross rd, and Cascade Rd.
The dead girl in Scarborough had no head, neither did any of the dogs. I'm the one who called the police.
I was there when they found Timmy Murphy on cascade and Ross rd intersection. He had no head either.
My cousin Murphy, the newspaper said he was hit by a truck. But that's not what happened. I was there. Police made me wait 3 hours while they looked for his head. I got questioned all over for that. It happened June 2013. Backhoe drove over my house August 8, 2013, and golf club woman attacked November 14, 2013... fbi thinks the backhoe and golfclub attacks were both because I was there when Timmy's body was being wrapped up by police. The police found his head 2 weeks later down by my driveway on Portland Ave almost a half mile from where they found his body.
They believe the killer of my cousin Timmy was at the scene while the police were questioning me, and that's how the killer knew to target my house with the backhoe a month later… the issue with that is, one of my uncles, paid the backhoe driver, but that uncle lives in Australia and wired the money to the backhoe driver. The police have all the paperwork for this. And the police can't figure out, why it appears that my Atwater relatives are heavily invested in impending the investigation of what police are calling "the Ouellette case".
It appears the Atwaters are being egged on by someone involved in the murder of the headless Scarborough marsh girl, and that the Atwaters are being deliberately needled into a frenzy at me and my family in a bold attitude to through police off the killers trail.
The thing is, the Atwaters have gone into wild extremes bringing in weird alien abduction rumors that are just outlandish… but then… one of my uncles, when the FBI went to interview him… he had dozens of dead, headless black dogs, black cats, and black chickens laying in weird pentagram ritual formations, all over his yard, in his driveway, around his house, hanging on his fences… and… well… dead headless black animals were all around the Scarborough marsh that day of the dead girl… and so… it kind of looks a lot like one of my uncles either is the murderer or at least is the one supplying the murderer with dead black pets.
So, this lead the FBi to ask me more questions, because now it looks like the Atwaters lashing out at my family has a far bigger motive then, them just being crazy lunatic ufo nuts.
I've been a witness at 4 different beheadings.. and was the one who called police each time.
The raid at the Saco Ward missionary apartment across the street…I never said the raid across the street was a drug raid... the state drug force wasn't there. Ive seen drug raids before. My Atwater relatives are notorious for drugs, ive been in the house when two drug raids happened, one in 1982 and one in 2016 and both times the state police drug team was the one who did the raid.
State police drug team wasn't there at the raid on the missionary apartment across the street last year, it the US Marshalls and FBI there. They had 8 people handcuffed face down in the road in front of our apartment. And they said it was about the Ouellette case, specifically the headless girl in Scarborough marsh. I know this, because thry asked me if i recognized any of these 8 people. One I did, she's been my dads nurse since 2009. Fbi was here asking me about that raid, because he wanted to know if the dead cats and birds in the road here in front of our Biddeford apartment were lined up same way as the dead dogs were back in Scarborough years ago with the dead girl.
Me and others locally have been finding dead pets lined up on Main Street, western Ave, Cutts St, West Cutts st, James St, and Bradbury st every since summer 2021, I sent videos footage of all the dead pets to fbi, because it DID look like same ritual pattern used in my yard with roosters in 2007 and my mother's cats in 2015 and those dogs with the dead girl at the Scarborough marsh.
That's why I stopped walking around our apartment at night... dead cats and birds are being set up around my apartment and also my mothers apartment... looks like whoever killed cats and roosters in Old Orchard, wanted me to know they knew where I lived.
The officers think the person leaving the dead pets all around our apartment is whoever killed the headless girl at the marsh... they think that's why the attack on my roosters happened in 2007, the backhoe in 2013, the golf club women who killed my son and crippled me in 2013, because I'm the one who called the police about the headless dogs in Scarborough with the dead girl.
Weird, this Sanford Ward Mormon, who was just here at my apartment, made the comment: "But the dead girl in Scarborough wasn't beheaded."
I don't know if there's a different girl too or not. I only know about the headless girl, the one I called 911 about all those decades ago. I never looked up the news reports so I don't know if they ever mentioned the thirty dead dogs or her and the dogs having no head. I don't know what the news said about it. I don't even know her name. I just know whenever the police or FBI ask me to retell how the dogs were laid out, they always call it "The Ouellette Case". Beyond that I know nothing about it.
My focus has always been on the attacks on me and my family. I don't know any of the other families. I just know the officers said the April 10, 2015 attack on my farm was the 11th such attack on Portland Ave since June 2001 and that they now tell me there have been seven more such attacks on Portland Ave since 2015. They said a lot of details have not been released to the public, but that there are a few common things recurring in every attack which indicates it's just one person (group of persons) doing it. They say they keep going back to all 18 of our families reasking us for details we can remember because they are trying to match up the similarities of each case.
I know what details were left out of reports about the attacks on my family. I don't know anything about any of the other 17 families at all.
I don't understand these Saco and Sanford ward church members who keep showing up all upset because I'm trying to find out who murdered my son and left me crippled. What is their problem? It's MY family that's dead, not theirs, what the fuck business is it of theirs? Why are they so damned ruffled up about me asking for anyone with information to call the FBI? By being upset like this, they are just making themselves look suspicious. When they are mad that I'm asking people for help finding the killer, they just make themselves look like they are involved, they make it look like they know who the killer is, they make it look like they are protecting and defending the killer. Do they not realize how suspicious they make themselves look when they get angry that I ask on Facebook for anyone with info to please call the FBI and help put my son's killer in prison?
Do you remember Timmy? He's the same age as you and me. He's the one who lived at the black house next door to my on Portland Ave. He was the used car dealer, the one who always have a dozen or so cars lined up for sale across his front lawn. He also owned Etiole's swamp, my abutting neighbour from the back side of the land. He used to help me babysit Barbara's kids back in the 1970s and 1980s, we used to duo babysit together.
Timmy Murphy was the one beheaded June 2013 at the Ross Rd and Cascaed Rd intersection.
That's why I can't understand these Todd Murphy fucktrds who spent the entire of November 2021 to May 2022, daily arriving in my Biddeford driveway, chanting "Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy! Todd Murphy!" while vandalizing both the building and my car. They did $10k+ in damages to my Volvo and they did so much damage to the building that landlord Matt Holiday couldn't afford to repair the apartment building so he sold it because the city of Biddeford was going to condemn the building and kick out all 9 families at 409 Maine Street, because the Todd Murphy fucktard attackers did so much damage to the building. People know about them cutting all the wires off the building, but it was a lot more then that. They did huge amounts of stucture damage to the building itself as well. That's why Matt sold the building. He just didn't have enough money to repair the damages.
But the thing was, these vandals were acting like they thought I knew who Todd Murphy was, and I never heard of anyone by that name before. I think they mixed up whoever this Todd Murphy was with my cousin Timmy... who is not an Atwater... what the fuck are the Atwaters even talking about? Timmy was my dad's older sister's god-son. My aunt Victoria from Portland? The one who lived in that big tower on the waterfront up on the Promanard.
Why are the Atwaters so damned fucking arrogant that they think they are the only relatives I have? The Allens of Allen Ave in Portland are my relatives too you know, and Timmy Murphy was one of them. You know, the whole family who founded Amatos... the woman who founded Amatos was my dad's great aunt. That's why we always get free food at Atmatos, their family. The Atwaters don't hold a fucking monopoly over me, what the hell is wrong with them? You know, I'm sick of the Atwaters barging their way into everything and trying to make everything be about them. They aren't the center of the world and they need to stop acting like they are.
Near as I can tell, these Todd Murphy vandals are conneted to the Atwaters somehow, but I don't know how. And again, they are impeeding a fucking FBI murder investigation. Do the Atwaters know how to do ANYTHING other then stick their busy body noses in places they don't belong? What the fuck?
Do you know what the police said? They said Todd Murphy is the son of someone my mother and Barbar fight with on FaceBook. I've had my mother and Baraba both blocked on FaceBook since the shit they pulled back in 213 after my son was murdered. I don't have a fucking clue who my mother or Barbara are friends with on FaceBook, I have them blocked. I've had them blocked for 10 years this Novmber.
But then, I have fucktards from the Sanford Ward church showing up here now, do you realize how far they have to drive to get here to my driveway? What the hell? And they claim that Todd Murphy was a member of the Sanford Ward... you know what he's not on the rouster. You know I'm a member of that church right? I got access to the rouster, because my husband is the high preist quorum leader of that church... there's no one named Todd Murphy who is a member of the Sanford Ward church, and there hasn't been in the last 48 years that I've attended that church. So now I'm left wondering, even more what the fuck?
Who the ell is Todd Murhy and why the fuck should I care? I haven't got a clue what these people are talking about. I don't know who they are and I don't know who their Todd Murphy is.
Only thing I can figure, is somehow, something my mother and Barbara said, convinced these people that when I talk about Timmy Murphy's murder case that I'm talking about Todd Murphy. But why? Was Todd Murphy murdered in 2013 of the Ross Rd in Old Orchard Beach, same as my cousin Timmy Murphy, who was also my abutting neighbor and had the same birthday as me, so we celebrated our birthdays together, you know because we grew up together and knew each other own entire lives?
I mean, what the hell? And what does Todd Murphy have to do with The Ouelltte case aka the beheaded girl in the Scarborogh Marsh from 20 years ago? That's what they were talking about last night... thee Snford Ward members who were here in my ard in Biddeford last night, who yes, I do know who they are, but I don't know who this Todd Murphy is that they are talking about or what he has to do with my cousin Timmy Murphy and that girl, both being beheaded down the street from my Old Orchard Beach farm?
I asked, no one in Timmy's family knows any one named Todd. None of my Scarborough or Old Orchard Beach Murphy relatives know or have ant relatives named Todd, so none of them, know what the fuck these people in Biddeford are talking about. You know just because someone has the same last name, doesn't mean they are relatede, right? Do these Todd Murphy people who won't stop hrassing us, and now clearly have a connection to the Sanford Ward realize that?
And what is with Joel Bailey? What? Yeah... they're bringing Joel Bailey back into stuff? He went to prison in 2013, he, if you forgot was the counsellor of the Bisiop of the Saco Ward church, the entire bishiprisk went to prision, 2 to 10 years each one, along with the Old Orchard Beach Town Manager, oh wait, he was one of the bishipric, and 13 people from the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police departments, all members of the Saco Ward church, for stealing a little bitty number of thirty MILLION dollars in Old Orchard Beach tax funds out of the town hall bank account, which I only found out about, because they tried to forge my name onto the documents and that was why FBI Laura, the agent ho was murdered in Florida on Feberuary 6, 2021, was sent to interview me in 2007, 2010, and 20134... the Saco Ward church bishopric stole $30million from the Old Orchard Beach town hall and tried to pin it on me, only, I can't count, mI never learned math, and they didn't know I couldn't possibly have written the math figures. I don't know how to do money and only someone really good with money could have done the things they did. They also put a lot of stuff in Ken Shoop's name. That Joel Bailey, the one who is now out of prison and likes to walk circles around my Biddeford apartment all summer long in 2022. Yeah, I am aware he's back, the mini-Winnie RV that parks at the Biddeford High School at night, he is the one driving it.
Given his past history, no, I'm not surprised at all to find his name bring brought back up. Though the Saco Ward Mormons now trickling out of prison and back on the streets, would explain why the vandalism started up again, seeing how they were the ones who used to do most of it and the vandalism did stop when they went to prison.
I'm sick of the Atwaters and their Mormon friends. They're nothing but criminals, drug dealers, and gangster thugs.
The fact remains, the only thing I'm focused on is finding my son's killer and the Atwaters and their Mormon thugs, are interupting that, and I want to know WHY? No one who is not guilty of being involved in my son's murder has any reason or incentive to be here harassing me and telling me to take the FBI phone number off my FaceBook wall, and that's what they are doing and I want to know why. What business is it of theirs if the FBI phone number is on my FaceBook wall and what is their involvment with my son's murder that they think the FBI phone number on my FaceBook wall effects them?
Here's a weird one… I just got a text message from a Sanford Ward Mormon which states: "I've known you for 40 yeas I would remember you being attacked how come you never mentioned it before now"
Uhm… since 1996, my website, originally known as Space Dock 13, has documented daily blog posts of every day of my life.
The July 2, 2001 attack, when a house mover cut our house in half, put it on a flatbed and drove it to Waterville, was documented the day it happened. It was also the first attack. My neighbor's German shepherd dog was beheaded and left in the bucket of his bulldozer that same day.
Go look at my blog… every day since July 2, 2001 , every attack, from the minor paintball attacks to the big house bomb attacks, are all documented, each blog post written the day it happened. There are more then ten thousand daily blog posts just on that one blog, chronologizing every event of every day of my life and including every attack, since June 2001.
That fact that they only just noticed it now, does not mean, I've never mentioned it… it just means they were too self absorbed to notice anything going on around them. It also means I was never important enough to them, for them to notice I was homeless, or in the hospital, or had a baby that was murdered. … their shock of just discovering these things, says more about their lack of caring about me, then anything else.
As for the headless girl and dogs in the marsh, the murder of my cousin Timmy Murphy, and the golf club attack ,the 3 events they specifically brought up in their text…
I had Squidoo articles about all 3 events. Squidoo went out of business in 2014.
I have more then a thousand blog posts published between 2007 and 2013, on Tumblr, BlogSpot, and WordPress, about those 3 events.
On YouTube I had more than 2k video uploads between 2008 and 2017 that did absolutely nothing but talk about those events, and included the interrogations by police and Fbi, which I've recorded all of since May 2015. So, yes, you can go watch FBI agent Andy Drewer, lawyer Gene Libby in the Biddeford District Court, and police officer Will Watson, and dozens of others talking about these events, on YouTube, because my camera catches everything.
Since 2008, I have posted daily on Facebook and Twitter asking for witnesses to come forward about the dead dogs and the marsh girl...
Since June 2013, I added Tim Murphy to my daily Facebook request for witnesses to come forward,
Since August 2013, I added the back hoe driving over my house info to my daily Facebook requests for witnesses to come forward.
since November 2013, daily every single day requests for witnesses to the attack at phi theta Kappa ceremony at bug light lighthouse, where my baby was murdered and I was left crippled for the rest of my life.
I'm still crippled by the way, are they going to tell me they didn't notice that either? Did they not notice I was 5 months paralyzed, wait I know that person noticed because in February 2014 that exact same person carried me to their car and from their car into the hospital precisely because I was paralyzed and couldn't walk…. The person who carried me to the hospital because I was paralyzed and had to be carried is the exact same person who is now saying they don't remember this… and yet, they are the ones who had to fill out the paperwork to admit me in the hospital and their signature is on those documents. So, proof they are lying, right there.
after the June 2016 attack by the 2013 golf club woman, this time at walmart, the fbi gave me a hotline number for witnesses to call... this phone number has been on the flyers in the windows of my Volvo ever since June 2016 and these events are printed on said flyers.
Also in June 2016 the Old Orchard Beach Libby library and the Biddeford McArthur library and the Old Orchard Beach Salvation Army Church all printed up flyers about these events, and spent the summer handing them out to tourists and the fBI number was on all of those.
This is all very well documented as, I have been post them DAILY for over a decade now... and I talk about it constantly in my livestreams which I started doing in May 2015.
Just because one person had their head shoved too far up their church's ass to know what was going on in their own family, and they only just now noticed what was going on around them, doesn't mean I only just now started talking about it.
This is why I don't like churches. Church people are so focused on their Bibles that they haven't got a clue what's going on in the real world around them.
Not to mention all of the police reports, there are more than four hundred police reports, which span twenty one police departments, in three states as well as the Maine state police and the Florida state police, plus the FBI besides! Most of those police reports are public record, you can go read them for yourself. As far as I know only 3 of them were classified and sealed from public access which means there's still 400+ that can be read. There were newspaper reports of some of the attacks. And even though I don't own a TV so have never seen the tV news reports, I know those exist because there were so many TV station news reporters showing up in my yard with camera crews asking for interviews with me. This case is so damned well documented. It's utterly ridiculous to think there is a single person in Southern Maine who is so self absorbed and so oblivious that they have never heard of this case or any of the events that have happened within it in the last 18 fucking years!
But the worst part is, this my own church, a church I have been a member of for 48 fucking years, that is saying, they never heard of this! What the hell? There were more than 24 people from the Saco and Sanford Wards arrested by the FBI just since 2015, because of their involvement in this case. Several of them are still in prison. These people are really that oblivious that they didn't know I was in the hospital, they didn't know I was in a wheelchair, they didn't know my son was murdered, and they didn't noticed 24 members of their congregation disappeared because they went to prison for their involvement.
Really? Wow do these people really give a shit about their fellow congregation members or what? They not only didn't notice I was missing from meetings for 9 years because I am bedridden now, they also didn't notice 24 other members not in meetings because they are now in prison. Talk about dense numb skulls.
It appears the High Priest is back. You, Paul, have met the High Priest. You met him at WalMart. You met him at McDonalds, where you had a 4 hour long conversation with him. You met him my yard in Old Orchard when you visited a few days after the April 0, 2015 attack, and can I add here that you are the ONLY person since that happened, to ever once stop by and ask how I was doing, it’s you’re the only person I knew before the murder of my family, whom I still talk to. You ARE the only person, who ever showed you actually cared about what was going on.
Not one single member of my family or my church has ever stopped to see how I was doing, has ever asked online how I was doing.
But, since November 2021, Sanford Ward mormons have been showing up, all of them in wild raging infernos, and all of them talking about people and events I know nothing about, so I have no clue what any of them ae talking about, but they act like they think I know who the names they mention are, in particular they are cult-like worshiping someone names Todd Murphy whom I can only assume they have gotten mixed up with my beheaded cousin Tim Murphy of Pine Point district of Scarborough and Old Orchard Beach, somehow.
They showed up near daily from November 21, 2021 until May 17, 2022. They were lead on by two blond girls who looked like twins, and have mega long knee-length hair they kept in pony tails, and a smaller pudgier girl with a mint-green pixie hair cut. I don’t know these girls, they looked to be in their 20s. They are the same girls who spent the entire summer of 2021 harassing the homeless man who was living under the trestle bridge across the street from us. They would show up on bicycles every night around 1AM, chase him up out of the ravine, then chase him up the old back tracks along the dirt road to South Street, up towards your place. They did that every night for about 5 months, until he got hit by a freight train on Nov 19, 2021 at 6:27PM. They started attacking my and my family Nov 21, 2021, I think because they knew I had video footage of them harassing the homeless man and I think too they were pissed that I call the police when they killed him by cornering him at the bridge overpass so he couldn’t get out of the way of the oncoming train. Outside of them nightly harassing the homeless man, and then spending Nov 21, 2021 to May 17, 2002 chanting “Todd Murphy” in my driveway while vandalizing my car and apartment building, I’ve never seen these girls before of since. They seemed to have completely vanished May 17, 2022. Not seen them at all and the vandalism stopped cold turkey that day. I assume the police must have finally caught and arrested them, but the police never said they did, and in the past when someone harassed me, the police would always ask me to go to the station to ID them after the arrest.
In any case, the “Todd Murphy” dipshit bitches stopped harassing us May 17, 2022, and I heard no more of them, until this past month… only it’s not them showing up this time… this time it’s older people, elderly people in their 70s and 80s, members of the Sanford Ward Mormon church across the street from Curtis Lake Church… Curtis Lake Church being the congregation that shows up in my Old Orchard driveway with the “god hates fgs” signs and calling me a transvestite and calling my car gay, and marching around chanting “too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach”... several Curtis Lake members have been arrested by the FBI and gone to prison for their involvement in both the April 10, 2015 attack on my family and the headless Marsh girl. However, to date,, the killer has not been found, every one arrested so far has always been weird “cultist-like” gay-haters who are attacking people in the area while chanting “kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws” and then rambling gibbering about heads in ice cream. The people arrested, for 5 different local churches, are all outspoken in radically preaching a doctrine of beheading anyone suspected of being gay, while stating that they are doing so on god’s orders.
That’s why there has been so much difficultly in finding out who killed the marsh girl and my cousin Murphry and my family, because, it looks like it’s not just one person, but rather an entire group of people involved, and so far, all evidence has pointed to those 5 churches: Saco Ward, Sanford Ward, Grace Point, Curtis Lake, and New Life, all in Biddeford, Saco, or Sanford, and all run by just 2 families. One family runs 3, another family runs the other 2.
Anyways, I was just thinking, and I think I figured out why the Sanford Ward Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints members are seemingly so clueless and unaware that I have been crippled and bedridden for nine years and why they were unaware that 24 members of their congregation have gone to prison, arrested by the FBI for being accomplices in the The Ouellette Murder Case aka The Cascade Murders aka The string of beheading on and around Portland Ave, Ross Rd, and Cascade Rd the past twenty years, which included the headless girl I found in the Scarborough Marsh, my cousin Timmy Murphy whom I found headless on the Ross and Cascade Rod crossroads, the beheading of my own foster children… Ben is the common link to all of them.
Ben, as you know, has severe dissociative identity disorder, that was brought on when his brother Willy commit suicide.
Ben has seven different, very distinctive different “people” living in him, that we know of, there could be moe then 7. Etiole is the one most locals are familiar with, though he does not call himself Etiole, Etiole being a name locals dubbed him. However, there is the High Priest, who is the one you, Paul, are personally most familiar with.
I’ve not seen the High Priest since April 10, 2015. Ben WAS there the day of the attack, he was also attacked… the attackers had me, my mother, one of my brothers, and Ben, all on the ground with guns to our heads, while they use a weird looking long pole with a piano wire-like loop on the end, to cu the heads off of everyone else who was there. Me, my mother, one of my brothers, and Ben, were the only ones to walk out of that attack alive. Ben’s favorite daughter Bella was one of the ones beheaded. His mind snapped, because, he recognized one of the attackers as “Rick”... When the attackers arrived, Ben ran up to one of them and said “Rick! What are you doing here?” Ben does have a friend named Rick… I know Rick. Rick is a very violent, vicious spouse abuser. His wife Paula used to come to church been to a pulp every week. Broken arms, broken legs, broken nose, black eyes. It went on for years. She finally divorced him and fled to Utah when he beat and nearly killed their teenage son. Rick has beaten me up, right in the Sanfard Ward church building. He’s a major bully, a huge bigot, and an extreme white power racists. Rick WAS there April 10, 2015… he didn’t have a white pillow case over his head like the rest of them did, but I don’t kow if he was a part of the attack or not, I was too busy trying to fight the bastard who was holding me own with a pistol in my face, to notice what Rick was doing. It was Rick though, his face in unmistakable… he has no face. Elephant man disease, I think you cal it, but you can’t mistake Rick, and he WAS in my yard April 10, 2015 the day my family was murdered, I just don’t know what he was doing there or if he was involved in the attack or not.
The thing is, something snapped in Ben that day. ALL 7 of his multiple personalities vanished, including the High Priest, thankfully. You know how bad the High Preist could get, you met him several times.
Ben left the Mormon church. I don’t know what triggered him more: his favorite daughter Bella being beheaded in front of him or his best friend Rick, seeming to be the one leading the charge ahead of estimated 74 people in white robes and white pillow cases over their heads.
In either case, Ben has developed a server hatred for the Mormon church and refuses to set foot in a Mormon church building… he who was High Priest Quorum Leader of the Sanford ward for so many decades.
The thing about the High Priest, was he was everything so far the opposite of who Ben, my husband, actually is.
The High Priest Quorum Leader of the Sanford ward boldly proclaims to be a virgin. Ben in not a virgin. Not even close. He had a prostitute problem back in the 1980s when I met him.
The High Priest Quorum Leader of the Sanford ward boldly proclaims to not be married, yet Ben and I got married on the Old Orchard Beach Pier August 13, 1987, so he’s been married several decades and still is, we don’t live together because he’s terrified of the Bishop finding out he has a wife. Keeping in mind Mormons don’t forbid priests from marrying, however Ben grew up extreme strict Catholic and his brother is the current leader of Opis Dia and he has to keep up appearances of being a Catholic Priest for his brother, from times when he visites from Italy, which happens a few times a year. Ben became a High priest in the Mormon church, but then goes to several local Catholic churches when his brother is in America, so that he can say he’s a High Priest without lying about it, and keeps his brother thinking he’s Catholic High Priest when he’s actually a Mormon High Priest. In other words, Ben lives a very big double life of trying to juggle his priesthood in two religions, hiding it from each other religion, while also maintaining a (very annoyed) wife (me) that he hides from BOTH religions.
Which is WHY, I’m allowed to PUBLICLY be friends with you, because it helps him to keep up the facade of “see, I’m not married, she hangs around with Paul”, which yes, that IS what Ben tells people at church about you.
Yes, Ben is a dick, I am very aware of this.
But, here’s the thing… Ben TELLS ME he is no longer in contact with any Mormons whatsoever, claims he hates, them, claims he shuns them, claims he’s not spoken to any of them since April 10, 2015…. HOWEVER… he was caught in July 2022, giving one of the Sanford Ward Mormons a ride to the store…. And Rick specifically, has been one the phone with him, when I came in the room and he thought I was elsewhere, causing Be to run around in a panic, knock his glasses off, break them by stepping on them, all while Rick was screaming out of the phone, “Ben, ya there? What happened? What’s going on?”
It appears the High Priest is back…. However, I suspected this in November 2021… the High Priest uses specific pontificating phraseology that none of Ben’s other personalities use…. And on november 24, 2021, the same night the Sanfard Ward Mormons were here cutting the wires off our Biddeford apartment building, Ben started talking like the High Priest again. It’s really distinctive. Normal people don’t talk in long winded drawn out droning, monologuing pontifications about Jesus, and of Ben’s 7 known people living inside him, the High Priest is the only ne who does this. Ben was here and witnessed the wire cutting event, he even went out side and talked to the crowd of “Todd Murphy” chanting lunatics to try to talk to them… and,... he said one of them is Todd Murphy’s grandmother from the Sanford Ward. Ben indicated at that point that he knew who Todd Murphy was, but since then, has denied knowing who Todd Murphy is. But, he came in, and told me outright that “I know her from the Sanfard Ward, she’s Todd Murphy’s grandmother”..
Each of the 7 people who live in Ben have no knowledge or memory of the other 6, and when one of the 7 does or says something, none of the other 6 have any memory of doing or saying those things.
It appears that The High Priest knows Todd Murphy, not only that, but also knows the attackers who came here daily from November 21, 2021 to May 17, 2022… and it looks like Ben, in his High Preist version of himself, is the one who told them where I live and is the one who worked them into a frenzy to begin with.
I have video footage of the homeless man who died Nov 19, 2021… a LOT of it. He knew Ben. That was obvious. Me and Ben were walking Main Street every night the summer of 2021 and the homeless man from under the trestle bridge would stop to talk to us a few times a week. And those weren’t just videos, those were Twitch livestreams so everyone watching my channel saw this homeless man stop and talk to Ben… he said he knew us. I did not recognize him, but Ben… I don’t know… Ben acted like he did know the homeless man, but didn’t want me to know it, so he told the homeless man he was mistaken. But people around local are saying that thie homeless man who kept showing up in my videos IS Todd Murphy, they say they saw my videos and it was Todd Murphy in my videos.
I am finding this whole thing very confusing… because NOW… even though I have video footage of Ben talking to the homeless man, Ben now claims, he never saw the homeless man at all and tells me I’m delusional. That's what he said: Ben said: “Your delusional, there was no homeless man” and, yet hundreds of people, many of them local, saw those videos of Ben talking to the homeless man. Which means, the man Ben was when he was walking with mt summer 2021,is NOT the man he is right now… and… either this a new 8th personality Ben has recently developed, or, it’s the High Priest back, but being deliberately sneaky to try to hide the fact that he’s the High Priest… which is odd, because before now, NONE of Ben’s multiple personalities have ever showed any signs of acknowledging any of the others, and the High Priest trying to high he’s the High Priest by trying to act like a different person, indicates the High Priest DOES remember and IS AWARE of the other personalities.
As you are well aware, I HATE the High Priest. I want nothing to do with him. I never would have married Ben if I had ever encountered his High Priest alter ego before marrying him.
June 26, 2016… FBI Agent Andy Drewer asked me to meet him at his Portland office on Middle St. He had… info. And a new primary suspect. Ben, specifically his High Priest alter ego, is the FBI’s #1 suspect in being the inforat, who told the golf club attackers I was at BugLight Lighthouse November 14, 2013. The FBI has phone records. I told only 3 people, where I was going that night: my mother, my father, and Ben. I told them only 5 minutes before I left, because I had been sick earlier and had previously told everyone I was not going to that event at the college. According to the FBI, my parents and step father Wayne Whiyyen, never left Biddeford, they continued to argue all night, and the FBI knows this because my father had hired a private investigator to tail Wayne, and so they have a lot of evidence as to where 2 of the 3 were. Ben on the other hand, called his friend Rick, the same Rick who was in my yard April 10, 2015… Minutes after I left my dad’s Water St apartment and drive to Southern Maine Community College, November 14, 2013… Ben called Rick. Rick drove to Ben’s house. And the two of them together left.
FBI Agent Andy Drewer had one question: “How well do you trust Ben? Because right now, he’s our primary suspect.”
They believe Ben told Rick, I was pregnant with someone else’s baby and Rick is the one who sent the golf club women to deliberately kill my baby.
Why do they believe this?
Because between 1987 and 2013 I have had 7 miscarriages, something that can be proven… Ben ins the only man I’ve ever been with. It’s not possible for anyone else to be the father. This was my 8th pregnancy by Ben and he was at the time running around accusing me of cheating on him with Etiole. The thing is… he IS the one people call Etiole… but his D.I.D. means he things Etiole is someone else, he doesn’t believe its him, because none of his personalities have any memory of each other.
Ben is a total nightmare to live with because I never know from one day to the next, who the hell he is going to be that day.
Ben has denied every pregnancy. Why? His exact words are: “I wouldn’t. I am a High Priest. What would the Bishop think?”
According to the FBI too, Ben, behind my back, runs around from one LDS/Mormon congregation to the next tell people that I am quote: “An unrhightious, unfaithful aunty-Mormon who puts the church down.”
Interestingly, I have been a member of the Mormon church since 1975. Ben joined in the 1980s. Ben left the church in 2015. I am still a member.
My FATHER is an extremist anti-Mormon, who preaches hatred for the Mormon church. Not me. Kenny, my father, is the anti-Mormon. My father, is such a huge radical extremist anti-Mormon that he has gone on to convince my mother, a 5th generation Mormon who is related to one of Smith’s poly-wives, to leave the church. She left the Mormon church in 1994 and joined up with some anti-Mormon group lead by some woman named Tanner or something. My mother, took her anti-Mormonis to extremes far above and beyond my father, taking to FaceBook and a forum called exMormon something and went total psycho nutjob anti-Mormon conspiracy theory all over the internet through the late 1990s into the 200s and still does it to this day now in 2023, preaching her wild anti-Mormon conspiracy theories now 27 years. In 3 years it’ll be her 30th anniversary of her wild mega hyper anti-Mormon rampage, with my father cheering her on and needling her forward the whole way in a weird Bonnie and clyde style vendetta attack everyone who is a Mormon hate fueled bigotry.
I on the other hand, am still a Mormon, have never had anything to do with the anti-Mormon movement, and, was shocked to learn from the FBI, that, the anti-Mormon rumors about me online are massive, and spread largely by members of the Saco and Sanfard Wards, with their info being just misinformation they regurgitate after talking to Ben, my mother, or my father.
Apparently, because I am bedridden and crippled, since 2013, and thus have had no way to get to church these past nine years, this, my absence in church meetings, after 48 years of never once missing a meeting, has allowed my mother, my father, and Benn to be able to spread wild anti-Mormon rumors about me, with the 3 of them going to my church, the Sandford Ward, and telling the church leaders that I’m not in church because I’ve turned anti-Mormon.
And yet, it is Ben who is the biggest anti-Mormon of all… he’s actual friends with that Tanner woman. My parents only run around preaching the Tanner woman’s message, Ben, actually sought her out and became personal friends with her and helps the Tanner woman one on one…. And he brags about this all the time.
I’m sick of hearing all the anti-Mormon Tanner woman bullcrap from Ben and my father and my mother so, whenever any of the three of them start chiding me for being a Mormon and telling me how evil and deceived I am because I refuse to leave the Mormon church, I just put my headphones on and listen to Markiplier YouTube videos and, ignore them.
I don’t hate the Mormon church like Ben, my mother, and my father do, so I am fed up with them constantly bitching at me because I’m a Mormon. Which is why I’ve not spoken to my father in 3 years even though we live in the same apartment, and was a contributing factor to why I blocked my mother on FaceBook in 203 and have had no contact with her at all offline since… though that hasn’t stopped her from showing up, trespassing, and hounding me.
Ben, is far worse then my mother or my father combined… since 2015, he has hand written thousands of anti-Mormon letters to every church leader he can find, local, not local, all the heads in Utah… and he bought a dozen cases, each case with 144 books in it, cases of Ket Kerr’s books and daily mails them out to every member on every rouster list of every ward in the Exiter and Augusta stakes, using his position as High Priest Quorum leader to get the home addresses of every Mormon in Southern Maine and New Hampshire, mailing all of them aunty-Mormon letters and copies of Kat Kerr’s books. Ben, as you know, has more money then he knows what to do with, and right now, he’s spreading thousands of dollars every day, just on the postage stamps to mail Kat Kerr’s books and his anti-Mormon letters to every local Mormon he can find.
And so, I knew he was mailing out the Kat Kerr books… but, until FBI agent Andy Drewer told me, I did not know that Ben and my mother and my father, having been putting MY NAME of the letters they are mailing out to people, and the three of them, through impersonating me, have got my church, the Sanford Ward, and it’s sister church, the Saco Ward, 100% convinced that I stopped attending church because I’mm now an anti-Mormon who hates the church, and that’s why my church, the Sanford Ward, and it’s sister church, the Saco Ward, are both unaware that I have NOT left the church, but rather I’m bedridden and crippled and have no one to help me get to church.
And so, now I’m finding out, that Ben, my mother, and my father, working together, according to the FBI, seem to be the fuel that is, and has been for several years, the fuel working locals up into a frenzy… including, they are the ones who are getting the Atwaters riled up, my being an Atwater, and the Atwaters further fueling locals on top of what Ben, my mother, and my father are doing.
What is their motive?
I ask them.
My father says he’s doing it to impress my mother so she’ll remarry him.
My mother says she’s doing it because I need to sell my land and give her the money so she can buy a house in Kennebunk.
Ben says he’s doing it because Mormons are led astray by Satan and he has to save my soul from Hell.
I’m so sick of all of them.
You know, one of the things I find most weird about the Atwaters is that so many of them seem to think I know them, even though I have never met them, nor even know any of their names.
Of the original twelve, I have only ever met five of them. And while I know Danny, I don’t even know the names of his siblings. I met Angelia once when she was twelve, at a Halloween party at the Cape Elizabeth Ward LDS Church, and then I saw her for about 2 minutes before she left. And Danny I only met when I was 37 years old and I only saw him about 10 times, back when my mother was trying to scam him out of his money from being hit by a train… which I didn’t know that was why she was visiting him, until a few years later when she had a big rant about how she wouldn’t visit him any more because he was, in her words “stingy and greedy” because he refused to give her the money to “use as a downpayment for a house in Kennebunk”. I should have known that was why she was visiting him, as that’s the only reason she ever does anything. She’s obsessed with trying to by that $3.7million mansion by the Wedding Cake House, and has been trying to scam relatives out of money for a downpayment on it for decades now… it was her reason for her involvement in the backhoe that her brother Joey hired to drive over my house. She and Joey figured I’d sell my land if there was no house on it. They didn’t exect me to set up a lean to made out of a 8x6 tarp and just spend the next 9 years living under that.
I met Doris once when she was squatting illegally on my land back in 1996. Took me and the Old Orchard Beach Police 9 months to get them out. I only ever saw her one day. She had 4 military tents, the size houses, 2 Winobegos and a Cadillac, that they illegally dumped on top of my corn crops, along with more then 600 bicycles, and 2 school buses full of sawed up copper pipes. Took us 9 months to find out who in the hell was living there and dumping that garbage on m land, and it turned out it was Doris. Only time I ever saw her, was one day, for about 15 minutes.
I remember Micheal, Tonya, and Scotty from before the caged years, but, I was put in the cage hen I was 8 years old, so I’ve not seen then since I was 8.
Once every year, usually on September 19th, David and Lucy would show up with a herd of incredibly violent gun toting vandals who would go through our farm and use shovels to chop the heads off all our pet cats, dogs, hens, ducks, and roosters. They were kill 200 to 500 of our pets every year in this anuel bloodbath on my farm. I don’t know who the hoodlums were. David said they were his kids, but he also said he had 15 kids and there were WAY more then 15 people involved in the annual Sptember 19 boodbaths… way more, closer to 100. Brucie said once that it was not JUST Davivd’s kids, but also a group known as The Halls. I don’t know who any of them were, but the police showed up every time, trying to get them out, and they always had huge shootouts with the police every year. It’s why I have a massive phobia of guns. A bunch of them were arrested in 1982, when that time the state police drg team showed up and arrested them and confincasted meth, marhawana, opium, and LSD
I know Dickie, Brucie, David, and Barbara because they were the ones that helped my mother build that room, that they locked me in when I was 8 years old, right after my Grammy Hellen Ricker’s funeral. They kept me in there for 27 years. One of the 4 of them would show up every 12 days to throw rotted molded food in the cracks between the boards. They are the only 4 Atwaters I know, and I only know them from their weekly coming into the room to beat me up, torture me. They are the five who raised me and said I was not Human, said I was a Demon and that I wasn’t allowed out of that room because Demons weren’t allowed to have contact with Humans.
I was 12 years old when the High Priest found out about that room, and he took me out every Sunday to go to church, and then took me back to that room after.
No one ever told me I was a Human and was allowed to go outside or talk to Humans until the social workers showed up when I was 31 years old. They are the ones who started using the term “feral child” to describe me and they to this day are still trying to “integrate me into Human culture” but two of them say they have given up on trying to convince me I am Human, they say there is little chance of my mind ever fully grasping the concept of being human because it’s too difficult to undo the three decades of Brucie, David, Dickie, Barbara, and my mother doing their “child social experiment” (as the social workers call it) to raise me to believe I was not human. They said the bigger problem is the fact that almost immediately after I was rescued out of that room/cage they kept me locked in for 27 years, the 2006 bomb blew up my house, which the FBI says it was Barbara’s husband Paul Martel who did that, but I don’t know why, as I never met him or even knew about him prior to the FBI arresting him, and the backhoe arrived to drive over my house 5 different times over the next 10 years, same back hoe, same yard, different house each time, as I kept rebuilding houses. Then I found that headless girl in the marsh with all the headless dogs and the FBI thinks one of the Atwaters did it seeing how the headless dogs were lined up in a row from my land to the march, each dog about 500 feet apart (for some reason the Saco and Sanford ward church members forget my land in Old Orchard abuts the Scarborough Marsh and is right on the edge of OOB bordering Pine Point in Scarborough. And that the dead girl in the Scarborough marsh was literally only a few hundred feet away from my driveway… they keep asking why I am obsessed with the Oulette Case, but they forget I’m the one who found the dead girl in the Marsh and that she was set up in a friging ritual pose, practically on my front lawn AND the FBI thinks the whole thing was done in some weird attempt by the Atwaters to frame me, so that I would go to prison for murder and they culd take my land… which it’s always my land and the Atwater obsession with taking it that is at the core of everything)
But in any case, the social workers say that because these events were my very first interactions with Humans, that it instilled in me an psychosis effect of further belief in not being human because I had trouble accepting the fact that I am the same type of creature as the monsters humans are, because, yeah, all I’ve ever seen from humans is death, bloodshed, violence and distruction. I have no reason to WANT to be integrated into a society that leaves headless dogs and headless girls in my front yard.
But then 2013, came along…. Social workers got me into college in 2010, in an attempt to show me that ONLY the Atwaters were shitty bloodthirsty bastards and that MOST humans don’t drop dead headless animals all over their houses and yards the way the Atwares do. And they were right. Humans in college were nothing like the Atwaters and their drug dealing, petty thieve, ganster thugs. The social workers and police keep telling me that this sort of behavior is not normal and that it is ONLY something the Atwaters and their friends do, that normal humans don’t act, do, or say the things the Atwaters do.
But then, I’m constantly running into people who make the claim to “know all about” me and they will spout off this weird freaked out stuff about witchcraft and curses and spelcasting and aliens and ufos and, I’m left totally clueless because I don’t know a single thing at all about witchcraft or curses or spellcasting or aliens or ufo, and I can’t figure out why these people think I have the faintest idea what the fuck they are even talking about.
They’ll say they thought I was some expert in casting curses and say they want to hire me to cast curses on people, and they act like spell casting is some sort of job I do. I don’t know heads or tails about spell casting.
They’ll say, “But your the sea witch of Old Orchard Beach”... yeah, people have been calling me that ever since Stephen King filmed Thinner on my land back in the early 1990s, but, I’ve never read a Stephen King book or seen a Stephen King movie, not even Thinner, so, I haven’t got a clue what is in his books and movies. All I know is he based some “Gypsy witch” in Thinner off me, because I’m the “Queen” (aka Priestess) of a local Gypsy clan. A Gypsy Queen is similar to a Catholic Nun in the Folk Catholicism of Mexico and has nothing to do with witches, witchcraft, spells, or curses, so I don’t know what the fuck Stephen King did in the Thinner movie to make people think I’m some kind of spell casting witch, but, people seem to have trouble understanding that the Thinner movie is FICTIONAL. I’m not a witch and I don’t know the first thing about witches or witchcraft. I haven’t got a clue how to cast spells or curses. And I can’t figure out why so many total random strangers think they can walk up to me at WalMart or Rotary Park or the library and demand I cast some curse on someone for them.
But, when these people do this, and it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I go outside, which I have agoraphobia, so it’s sometimes weeks or months between my setting foot outside, every single time I go out, some one always identifies me as a witch and watches a curse cast.
At the same time I’ve got these UFO nuts constantly coming up to me asking me this or that about some weird ass alien ufo idea, and I never have a clue what they are talking about, They use all sorts of weird ass words and phrases that I’ve never heard before and gibber on like another language which I can’t understand… but then they act all surprised that I don’t know the meanings of the words they are using, and they’ll say: “But I thought you were supposed to be a top expert on UFOs and alien abductions” and I’m like what the hell are they even talking about and how the hell would anyone in their right mind come to think that I would believe in ufos or aliens, when I think people who believe in ufos and aliens are raving lunatics, my uncle Brucie being a perfect example of a raving lunatic who believes in aliens and ufos.
I don’t get it.
But then, every time this happened, and it just happened again today, because, as you know I’ve not received any mail since May 2022 and I went to the post office yet again today to once again ask where the hell is my mail… and low and behold, I can’t set foot outside without some alien believing, curse believing freak ass weirdo nutjob showing up to ask me to put a curse on someone while gibbering about ufos.
I ask him, where the hell did he get the ludacris idea that I was a witch, that I cast curses, or that I believed in aliens, nd he said: “Well, your mother says on FaceBook…” yeah, my mother is a freaking nut, which is why I’ve had nothing to do with her in decades. She’s a white power freak who runs around calling black people the n-word, is part of the anti-vaccer micro-chip in vaccines conpreracy theory, wouldn’t let me or my brothers go to school because in her words “the government controls the schools, and satan controls the government”, SHE spends 90% of her time running around putting curses on people, all she does is talk about whores and demons, demons and whores, every other word out of her mouth is either demon or whore. And the only time she ever shows up its because she’s trying to pul yet another lame ass scam to try to steal my land because she hated my grandmother and says it’s her life duty to destroy everything that”ever bolgned to that old bitch of a whore” including the farm I inherted from gramy Helen. My mother is spiteful, violent, vindictive, and has a police record for running around beating people in the face with bricks. On top of all of that she’s chronic liar and I’ve never heard a truthful word come out of her mouth.
I am well aware that my mother is the source of 90% of the problem, simply because she’s the biggest fucking gossip in Southern Maine, after he sister Barbara, and the two of them are rather famous all over Maine for thei trouble they have caused HUNDREDS of families. They are petty Karens who devote every minute of their lives to making up vicsious rumors and lies about every person they see, both people they know and people they don’t know.
And thanks to the FBI investigation into the murder of my on, I’ve found out a LOT about both my mother and Barbara and the bizarre, outlandish extremes they each have gone to in their petty vindictivness.
But the fact remains, I’ve not had contact with either of those bitches in several decades, precisely because I am sick and tired of their endless hate for everything and everyone around them. They both do nothing but gossip and lie, lie and gossip, and run around like a couple of teenage brats making a game out of seeing who they can hurt next … they fucking brag about it and spend hours laughing over how fun it is to destroy families.
It doesn’t take any level of intelligence to see that the dynamic trio (Barbara, Brucie, and my mother) are the source of every damn rumor about everyone in York County, Maine.
It’s such a big problem that I’ve had people come to my apartment and ask me if I could ask my mother and her siblings to leave their family alone. The fucking Biddeford Police have stopped by my apartment to ask me if I could do anything about my mother, that’s how I found out it was HER who knows Todd Murphey, because the police came right out and told me that my mother has been harassing Todd Murphey’s ex-wife and 15 year old son on their FaceBook accounts and wanted to know if I could ask her to stop.
No. I can’t. And you know why? Because when I asked her to stop spreading witchcraft and curse casting rumors about me, she arrived the next day and cut my car in half! The 1964 Dodge 330… she said it had a demon in it and she had to kill the demon by killing the car. What the fuck? She’s fucking insane!
And worse… half the time, these people will tell me some name I never heard of. Say this or that person told them I was a witch who cast curses or was some alien expert, and I’ll ask them who the hell is that, and they’ll say: “Oh that’s one of Brucie’s kids” or “David’s kids” or a grandkid… and I’ll point ou that I’ve NEVER EVEN MET Brucie's kids or Davids kids or ANY of the rest of the Atwares.
There are more then four hundred Atwaters, and I’ve meet EXACTLY SEVEN of them in my life time. I don’t even know the names of all the original twelve, let alone the names of their kids or grandkids… why would I? Most of them live in Utah and I’ve not set foot outside of Maine for nearly SIXTY YEARS!
I’ve never in my entire life even talked with an Atwter, not face to face off line, not online.
Because I’ve never even seen pictures of any of the Atwaters, I wouldn’t even know an Atwater if I saw one!
And yet, they run around spouting off things I supposedly said or did, and make the claim I’ve talked to them… and I’m just left wondering who the fuck is running around talking to the Atwaters while pretending to be me, because I don’t even know who the Atwaters are!
Clearly, there is someone out there pretending to be me and the Atwaters think they are talking to me, but they are NOT talking to me, I’m not talking to them, and I want to know in the the fuck is running around pretending to be me?
Its so damned fucking obvious the Atwaters don’t know one iota about me, just by the level of the ludicrous witchcraft, curse, alien, and ufo lies they spread around about me!
I should be able to go to my post office, go shopping, heck just walk down my driveway to get my mail, without being bombarded with stupid ass freaks gibbering about witches, curses, demons, aliens, and ufos! I am so damned sick of my mother and her fucking Atwater relatives…
You know, another thing that’s fucked up about all this and again is my mother running around lying her ass off to hell and back, yet again… is this whole situation with HER cats.
The attack on my family, happened the same day as the whole thing with her cats, and she is so obsessed with the cats, that she has gone out of her way to run around telling people that when I talk about April 10, 2025, I’m talking about HER cats… but, in order to further promote that lie, she also tells people they were MY cats! What the fuck?
You know that Nick guy my mother sleeps around with? The one she broke up his marriage, convinced him to leave his wife and kids down in Mass and move up here to Maine, because she was scamming him… the guy she stole his credit card and went and bought that shed she put on my land, and bought those $2k dogs with, and bought those appliances with, and bought that tractor with, before that Nick guy found out she stole his credit cards? Him.
Did you know, she convinced him that she owned MY land in Old Orchard Beach, and she tried to get him to join her scam, and pretend he was a real estate agent, and my mother and her pimp Nick tried to sell my land last year… and this is not the first time she’s done this.
Did you know, that in 2007, she went to the town hall, pretending to be me, had them divide my land into sections, and then sold one section? That’s why Don Cooliard and his sister have a house in my driveway now… something they built in 2019… and it was when they built the house in 2019, that was when I found out my shit face mother and her jackass whore master Nick, sliced off a peice of my land in 2007 and sold it!
I had no idea they had done it!
That’s the kind of shit faced scum bag scam artist my mother and her fuck buddy Nick are!
But it gets worse.
My mother had 83 cats… eighty three cats.
And she was hiding 113 of them in an apartment owned by this Nick scammer. He found out she had cats in her apartment… guess what day… April 14, 2015. The day before the attack on my farm.
Here’s a thing… did you know there were no locks on the doors of my motorhome? Not one. I bought it February 21, 2012, and first thing I did was took all the locks off, because I have a PTSD phobia of locks, after my mother kept me locked in the room cage thing for 27 years.
And yet… when the vandals showed up with a Blow Brothers sewage truck to fill my motorhome with 500 gallon of raw feces, they had to pry a padlock off the door to get inside. A padlock, that I did not put there.
Do you know how that padlock got there? My mother put it there the night before, when she took HER thirteen cats, and shoved them in my motorhome, without telling me she was doing it… because she had to hide them from Nick.
People often ask, why, I a professional artist whom has had displayed at the Portland Museum of art… don't paint anymore.
It’s because paint supplied are expensive, and 500 gallons of raw human feces not only did $10k in damages to my bedroom, it also destroyed $30k in art materials.
But it gets worse… my mother was two timing Nick with both my father Kenny and her other ex husband Wayne… and on top of that, she was mad at Wayne, so, it turns out, that 7 of those cats were HIS cats, and she had stolen them from HIM…. so not only was she hiding thirteen cats from Nick, but seven of those cats were stolen cats besides!
She put the cats in my motorhome, them, because she is fueding with ALL her whore master fuck buddy men, one of them, the FBI hasn’t figured out which one yet, filled my motorhome with feces out of a Blow Brother’s sewage truck (my cousin Ken Blow is my neighbour, they stole one of his trucks to do it) , and then called the police and told them that the motorhome was HERS, because my mother had been running around telling everybody it was hers, she these guys thought they were pumping sewage into my mother’s bedroom and didn’t know they were pumping sewage into my bedroom.
But, because they DID know that she had put the cats in there, and they were made at both her and Wayne, they thought if they called the police, the police would arrest her and Wayne…
,...however, the gays haters of the local Mormon churches ALSO showed up that same morning, a completely separate incident from the cats, to attack my family, because, earlier that year, I had published a gay Romance novel, called Night of the Screaming Unicorn, and these gay hating church freaks, decided murdering my family was punishment for me publishing a Gay Romance novel.
A fucking five towns worth of police, including a SWAT team showed up… the white robed klan pretenders fled, thep police found the cats, I was left asking “What cats? What are you even talking about?” Later an officer asked me if I knew the cats, and I said, “Yeah, these ones belong to my step father Wayne up in Biddeford and those ones belong to my on the other side of Bideford, how the hell did they get in my motorhome?”
And the court cases people talk about… there where SEVEN different court cases going on all at once, including the Guy Gamon murder trail because he murdered my dog walker who walked my dog when I was sick, which was the big case, that uncovered he was a serial rapist, and went on for several years and included a jury trial.
The murder trail of my family was also going on. Different court case.
And then, my MOTHER had a court case going on with police over the cats, which, in the middle of that, she spun it around, started telling people the cats were mine, and the next thing I knew, there were TWO MORE court cases slapped on me, that I knew nothing about… both an extension of the cat case my mother had going on, because 2 weeks into HER court case about HER cats that SHE hid from Nick in MY motorhome, she had Nick convince the police to switch the case out of her name into my name, because she had convinced Nick that the cats were mine! So all of a sudden, I get this weird court case about HER cats slapped on me, on top of the three murder cases and rape case, that were already going on.
The cat court case lasted less then an hour before the judge threw it out of court, telling some Dan guy that if he ever tried to pull a stunt like this again (apparently he worked for the Old Orchard Beach town hall and had pulled scam court cases to frame disabled women before, because the judge told the Dan guy that this was the 64th bogus case he had done to try to steal land from disabled women in OOB)...... but… the judge was asking me about the cats, and I keep telling him, I don’t know anything about the cats because they were not my cats, they were my mother’s cats, and I still had no clue how they had even gotten in my motorhome in Old Orchard Beach, 14 miles away from Nick’s apartment in Biddeford where they had been for several years before that. Finally the judge asked if someone could get my mother to the court house, and surprisingly she showed up… with Nick of all people… and she boo-hooed to the court about the cats being mine, and my being homeless and living under a tarp (I was still living under the tarp in 2015, but not at the time of the attack… I had just moved in with my dad in Biddeford March 31, 2015 due to I have just come out of intensive surgery and the doctor wanted me to not be sleeping outdoors for the next 6 months because I had intensive amounts of surgery to heal from, so I wasn’t in Old Orchard the day my mother put HER cats in my motorhome and that’s why I had no clue the cats were in there).
Well, the judge got mad at my mother, because it was blatantly obvious to him that the cats were hers, because she was using all the cats’ names, while I didn’t know the cats’ names, and she was describing what they looked like and what breeds and ages they were, while I didn’t know what half the cats looked like, Three of the cats I had never even seen before, and I didn’t know their names. I didn’t know how many cats there were!
The judge outright told my mother to her face that she ought to be ashamed of what she did, framing me and pretending the cats were mine, and he sent the cats to the West Kennebunk Animal Shelter, something we knew right there in the court room, but in order to get pity, and money (my mother started a fund raiser on one of those kickstarter type places) saying she needed to raise money to locate the cats. What the fuck? We knew where the cats were. They were at the West Kennebunk Animal Shelter… she even went there to try to get them back… asked me to drive her there in my car, took Wayne with her because the cats were technically HIS cats that she stole from him… I have the whole thing on video camera, it was livestreamed… she had a big fucking fight with the people at the shelter and they told her they’s arrest her if she ever tried to get near their shelter again.
After that, she built up this weird ass conspiracy that the cats were sent to lots of shelters and foster care… which they probably were., I don’t know… and she went from one animal shelter to the next harassing them.
Meanwhile, her friend Joel Baily hacks my Twitter account and uses it to harass, yet another of my mother’s whore master men that she sluts around with trying to get money out of… some guy named Mark, who I never heard of before, but apparently, he’s been friends with my mother AND my father for some forty odd years, even though I myself had never seen or heard of him before. And yes, the same Joel Bailey from the Saco Ward and Old Orchard Beach town hall who went to prison for hacking the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall bank account and transferring $30MILLION in OOB tax money to members of the Saco Ward church… who it turns out, most of them were the anti-gay attackers in my yard April 10, 2015, which is why 24 members of that church went to prison between 2016 and 2021.
So, I’m still unable to do anything because, you know, still recovering from major spine surgery, because of the golf club attack that murdered my son in 2013, three years earlier, I didn;t have surgery until 2015 and 2016., because of the fucking red tape the USA medical system runs on… here I am, not online at all since November 14, 2013, so I have not yet told anyone about any of the April 10, 2015, and come January 2016, all of a sudden, there’s the Mark guy who crawls out of the woodwork, with yet another court case, this one claiming I was saying stuff on Twittrer about him… and yet, I had never heard of this guy before AND I hadn’t been online since November 14, 2013, so what the fuck? Who the hell is hacking my Twitter account pretending to be me, while harassing this guy I never even heard of before. But by this point FBI Agent Andy Drwer had taken over the whole case, and by June 2016, he found out, yeah,:” it’s your mother’s friends from the Saco Ward church. She’s convinced them the cats were yours and that you need to be punished for animal abuse, that you didn’t even do, by hacking your accounts and framing you” Great. So yet again, my mother and her cat obsession and her Atwater friends, and her Saco ward friends, and her fcck buddies are at the core of all of this, with them once again, putting my name on something I fucking had no part of and didn’t even know anything about! What the fuck!
This court case was ALL livestreamed, you can go watch it on YouTube. The Cat Court case was also live streamed. You can watch that on YouTube too. The murder court cases and the rape court cases, also livestreamed. You can watch them on YouTube too. And then on top of that, was the Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach Court case with the Old Orchard Bach Town Hall… also livestreamed, you can watch that on YouTube as well.
My mother, Nick. all these Saco Ward church people, the Dan guy, the Mark guy, the Gene guy… they are ALL on livestream… the judges, the police officers, the witnesses, the DA, even the FBI agents… all recorded, all livestreamed on Twich, all archived on YouTube, all SEVEN court cases, every day of every trial. You can go watch them all yoursel and see the truth, instead of listening to siller gossip and rumors started by my mother and her Nick buddy trying to cover their asses for trying to steal my land YET AGAIN, via the cats.
But have you ever noticed it is ONLY my mother and Nick talking about the cats in connection to April 10, 2015… do you notice how I never talk about the cats, because… oh look… they were NOT my cats, they were my MOTHER’S cats and that’s why SHE is talking about them?
Did you also notice how, in order to make people believe the cats were mine, that both my mother and Nick, are going out of their way to try to erase the existence of my family that was murdered that same day?
Did you notice how in order to push THEIR cat agenda, my mother and Nick are are doing a major gaslighting move to try to make everyone FORGET what happened two years earlier on November 14, 2013, the day my son was murdered and my spine was broken?
Did you notice how my mother and Nick are trying to use THEIR cats as a slight of hand move, so people wouldn’t see that they DID steal and sell part of my land to Don Colliard in 2007 nd that they tried to sell another section of my land in March 2015… yes, yet another court case which was going on, BEFORE the cats happened, and that the FBI believes my mother and Nick pulled the cat stunt deliberately to try to make people look the other way and forget that she and Nick tried to steal my land only 2 weeks prior to the cat event? Or that she and Nick tried for a THIRD time to steal and sell my land April 2022…
Know the truth.
Those cats were not mine, they never were, and I’m sick and tired of the jack ass fucking animal abuse rumors and lies my mother and Nick are spreading about me… lies that they are spreading ONLY to try to cover up the fact that they were trying to steal my land, to sell my land, so my mother could by some fucking mansion in Kennebunk.
Well guess what… my son is buried on my land, He’s been buried there since November 2013, and it doesn’t matter that there is no house on my land, because my son’s there and I’m never selling it. And my mother and he Nick and Saco Ward and Atwater friends are bunch of fucking scum bags who don’t give a shit about anything but the damned fucking money they think they can get out of my land.
So, we have confirmation that yes, our mail IS being stolen from 146 Portland Ave. As you already know, we have not received mail since May 2022 and it is now March 2023, it's nearly a year. Post office has just been saying "we are short drivers" and has not looked into it... so we went over the heads of the local Old Orchard Beach post office and went to the distribution center, and told the state post master what was going on, they got in touch with our delivery driver, and he has delivered our mail every day, all year, and is baffled because the post office had not alerted him that we were not getting our mail. So, YES, if you live on Portland Ave, in Old Orchard Beach, and have not been receiving mail, and I know most of my neighbors are saying they've not gotten mail in weeks to months, as well, go to the Saco distribution center in the industrial park, and complain there, because tour driver IS delivering daily and has not been missing delivers... all missing mail from Portland Ave is stolen and you need to let them know what mail you have not received to they can get to the bottom of finding who is doing it.
So, while I was at the post office today, seeing how the post office is on the Cascade Road, out here in the Old Orchard Beach section of the Scarbourgh Marsh... I decided to check the family cross, see if the name Todd had been added, seeing how the vandals and shitard harassers can't stop gibbering Todd Murphey this and Todd Murphey that in my driveway, and nope... here it is, https://www.eelkat.com/images/cross.jpg as you can see the only two names are my cousin Timmy Murphy and my uncle Gordon Murphy. No Todd.
You know, I would recommend these shittards take their heads out of their asses, and drive through all the roads of the Scarbourough Marsh. Why?
This cross is one of the more then a hundred crosses in the marsh, which marks the locations of the one hundred and twenty people whom have been beheaded in a four mile radius since June 2001. This cross stand at the Ross Road x Cascade Rd intersection. The Cascade Road, as everyone who watches the local news is aware, is where bulk of the serial killer's attacks have occurred, which is why local news reporters have dubbed the entire case as "The Cascade Murders", officially know to law enforcement as "The Oulette Case".
If you start driving through all the side streets of the Scarbourgh Marsh, you will find there are 120 - one hundred and twenty - of these crosses, some with 5 or more names on them, each marking the location where the the person dubbed by locals as "The Portland Ave serial killer" has murdered 120+ people between June 2001 and February 2021.
For some odd reason, the Sanford Ward LDS church, a church only a 30 minute drive awa from the Scarborough Marsh, is so clueless about the local biome, that they seem to think the ONLY place the Scarborough Marsh exists is across the street from the church owned candy store Len Libby's Chocolates.
Do you recall how people like to dub my land "Etiole's Swamp"... do you know why they do that? Because my land is a literal swamp. It's a peat bog, with more sinking quicksand and 6 foot tall marsh grass, then solid ground. I live IN the Scarbough Marsh, as does EVERYONE on Portland Ave, Ross Road, Pine Point Road, Cascade Road, Walnut Street, East Grand Ave, West Grand Ave, Milliken Mills Rd, and more then 200 - two hundred - other streets in Old Orchard Beach, all of which are located inside the Scarborough Marsh.
The Marsh is not JUST in Scarborough, nor is it just that one quart mile stretch of road across from Len Libby's. The Marsh sits in two countries and five towns, and covers several thousand acres of land... and the Scarborough WalMart and the South Portland Main Mall, both site in the marsh, with both of those mega buildings building on a massive system of concrete pilings to keep them from sinking into the many acres of peat bog that site under each of those buildings.
But do take a drive on the above listed streets in Old Orchard, as well as the following ones in Pine Point: Pine Point Rd, Blue Point Rd, Black Point Rd, Dunstan Corner, Portland Rd aka Rt 1, Payne Rd, and all the little side streets off of each one. In Saco head to Heath St, Jenkins Rd, Flag Pond Rd (stop and see the very real pet cemetery where Stephen King's The Pet Cemetery movie was filmed while you are there), and all their side streets, yes those are in the Scarbourogh Marsh as well... and instead of just blindly driving through the Marsh on your way to work, slow down and start counting the crosses... big white crosses, little white crosses, unpainted wooden crosses, reflector covered orange crosses... see if you can find all one hundred and twenty crosses in the Scarbourogh Marsh... they sit in 5 towns, in 2 counties... and every one of them marks the location of someone who was beheaded by a still uncaught, still actively killing people, serial killer who has plagued the streets in the Portland Ave region of the Scarbough Marsh since June 2001.
But as you can see, it's Timmy Murphy who was beheaded on the Cascade Rd... not Todd Murphy... there's it's cross which has stood there since June 2013.
You know, if these harassers spent more time paying attention to what is going on around them, and less time being self absorbed jerks... they'd know these crosses were here... they'd know, Old Orchard Beach has a serial killer on the lose who has beheaded more then 120 people and left their bodies at cross road intersections all over the marsh... they'd know that this has been going on for 18 years now, and they'd know that my family had been hit by this madman multiple times now, fist killing my cousin Timmy Murphy, then killing my baby and leaving me not only crippled, but also one of only 5 people to live through and survive one of this serial killer's attacks, thus WHY the FBI is so hyper focused on not letting me out of their sight because this killer has a history of not leaving people alive... they'd know that SEVENTEEN families all within a quarter mile section of Portland Ave, between Walnut St and Milekin Miles Rd, 17 families in this space of street, have not only have their families murdered, but their houses bulldozed by a backhoe, and in just those 17 families, in addiction to the dead people, there are also more then FIVE HUNDRED dead pets, including cats, dogs, birds, and horses, every one of which was beheaded and the headless pet hung from rope nooses and draped in trees and porches of the 17 families... something the FBI says is a scene from a Stephen King book, which the serial killer likes to recreate... and then the FBI points out this: each of those 17 families has appeared in The Thinner movie... it's the one common thread for ALL 120+ Scarbourough Marsh killings: every sing victim has somehow been involved in the filming on one of the 14 Stephen King movies which was filmed in Saco, Old Orchard Beach, and Scarboughor back in the 1980s. According to the FBI, EVERY SINGLE ONE of these murders, animal killings, harassments, vandalisms, and hate crimes, can be found in a Stephen King book and this lunatic is recreating "art" in tribute to Stephen King, using the bodies of family members who were involved in the filming of Stephen King's oldest movies.
If these people in the Sanford Ward church would take their heads out of Joesph Smith's ass long enough to look around, they would have known these things were going on, that they were going on to people in their congregation, that several members of their congregation have stopped attended church because they were murdered, that several other members of their congregation no longer attend because like me they are crippled and bed ridden from these attacks, and that 24 members of their congregation no longer attend church because they are in prison for their connections and involvements in these murders.
Heck, these murders have been all over the TV and paper news for 18 years now... you'd think the people of the Saco and Sanford Ward LDS churches - who are the ones in my driveway bitch screaming about Todd Murphey for the past 2 years now - would at least have seen enough TV news or newspaper news... oh look, did you know one of the big name newscasters on TV, someone who has in fact covered the Scarbough Marsh case on TV several times now, is a member of the Sanfard Ward congregation, and even SHE knows what's going on, obviously because she's one of the reporters who keeps showing up to interview all us families who live in in the Scarborough Marsh... so I know not everyone in the Sandford Ward is clueless as to what has been going on in the community round them.... several of these church members are outright screaming, literally screaming from my neighbor's front porch in Biddeford, that they never heard of any of this before... I'm sorry... what the fuck?
The Scarbourough Marsh murders is quite literally the biggest unsolved murder case in all of New England, not just Maine, it's been covered by DateLine, 20/20 and half the crime network tv shows! The fucking planet has heard of it! These people are telling me, literally, while standing on my neighbors front porch and shrieking at the tops of their lungs, that they never heard of this murder case, a murder case I've not stopped talking about for the last 9 years because as of 9 years ago now members of my family have been murdered.. heck, with so many deaths now, it's pretty hard to find any family in the Scarbourough Marsh who DOESN'T have a dead relative killed by this nutjob... and these people, who vandalized our apartment building so bad that the landlord has a repair crew here all of this next upcoming summer... these vandals and hate fueled harassers from the Sandford Ward church, are telling me, that they had no clue any of this was going on?
And worse... y Atwater relatives... they keep showing up and ALSO saying they never heard of this... really? How? I know the FBI has been talking to them about it because they keep showing up in a rage yelling that the FBI was just at their house and it's all my fault and demanding I stop sending the FBI to their house... but I didn't send the FBI to their house, heck, I didn't even know they were related to me, as I never heard of them before they showed up to yell at me, so how the hell do they think I sent the FBI over there? What the fuck?
But also... what the fuck? Family members have been murdered and as far as I know, the FBI is trying to locate every relative to find out if they might have any information about a member of their family being murdered... I mean, if these people really are relatives, like they scream that they are when they are in my yard yelling at me, then, someone in my family being murdered IS ALSO someone in THEIR family being murdered.... and yeah, of course the law enforcement is going to go to every family member and ask for info, that's what law enforcement does, because, they just naturally assume that normal families help each other and WANT to solv a murder that happened in their family.
Which is something FBI Agent Andy Drewer pointed out to me, he said: "The Atware relatives of yours... they're pretty paranoid aren't they? I'm having trouble getting any of them to talk to me. Most slam the door in my face the minute I say I'm with the FBI. They act like they got something to hide. Looks mighty suspicious. Can you think of any reason why any of your uncles might want you dead?" That was the same day he pointed out that his five top suspects for the November 14, 2013 attack were my uncle Bruce, my aunt Barbara, my mother, my father, and Ben. He said he can prove they all knew about the golf club attack, and yet everyone of them is openingly, publicly denying any knowledge of it, and all five of them are doing their most public outspoken, over the top denying it in two places: The Saco Ward LDS Church and the Sandford Ward LDS Church.
And most disturbing of all is this: He says my father was having an affair with a woman named Claire back in the 1970s, and that my father and my mother and Claire and Claire's husband have been feuding since the late 1970s, a fued which goes on to this day... and... that on ALL of my mother's social media accounts, FaceBook, Twitter, Pinterest, everything, are two usernames that show up in her friends' lists: both with the same last name, one using the username Claire while posting a 4 door white truck as her user photo, and the other... wait for it... has the user name: KendraSilvermander".
Yep.
The FBI has found an actual person, a relative, in law of the Atwaters, who goes by the username KendraSilvermander.
Why is this significant?
The people who murdered my son at BugLight Light house art studio at Southern Maine Community College on November 14, 2013, was a blond woman whom the other two called "Claire", a red haired woman who was chanting: "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine! I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine! I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine! I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!..." like she was singing a song... both women looked to be in their 60s, and today a decade later, would now be in their mid-70ish, and were with a large bald man, about 30th, today would be about 40ish, and the 3 of them left in a 4 door white pickup truck.
The odd thing is, people don't talk about themselves in 3rd person limited, but, that's what the red haired woman was doing.... and I've seen her before... she showed up at Westbrook Panera 3 different occasions in 2009 and 2010 and in each of those instances also did the same marching goosestep around, back then carrying a white poodle wearing a purple dragon coat... while again saying "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!" while also bragging that her father owned Saco FunTownSplashtown USA and having a psychotic meltdown screaming" My chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, my chair, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!" Annalese, the woman sitting next to me, another published author, as thi was a NaNoWriMo writer's meeting, who was the NaNoWriMo Ml of Souther Maine, leaned over and whispered to me "That's Kendra Silvermander, she thinks she's he ML, we try to humor her. She can get rather violent if you don't."
Whoever this red haired woman is, she has a server, mega in need of medical care, mental disorder, appears to be incapable of functioning beyond the mental level of a two year old, and is quite proud of repeating her name as fast as an auctioneer. But, she speaks in 3rd person limited about herself, using us and ours and we to refer to herself, and uses the phrase: "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!" as though it was a period at the end of every sentence. I don't know what sort of a mental disorder she has, but Annelese was right, this woman gets over the top violent, as we quickly saw at Westbrook Panera in 2009, when she started slamming her dog on the table while chanting "My chair", and then quickly lashed out at me, in a mega violent rage of throwing chairs. The restaurant had to drag her out and make her leave.
She repeated this at three different writer's meetings at the Westbrook Panera in 2009 and 2010.
She is the same woman who was ordering/leading/demanding the blond Claire woman's golf club attack at Southern Maine Community college November 14, 2013, murdering my baby and crippling me.
She returned for a 5th attack June 26, 2016, again with the bond Claire woman, this time at Scarborough WalMart, and this time attacking with a shopping cart, this being the attack that caused the inoperable 3 broken vertebrae and the organ and nerve damage which caused my current crippled stat. In this attack, yet again the red haired woman was chanting: "I'm Kendra Silvermander It's my turn to shine, my turn to shine, my turn to shine!" but this time the blond woman was shrieking: "That's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband. That thing is Ken's son, look at how IT's dressed! Kill or be killed! Remember Saco Shaws! No more heads in ice cream! End the gaypocalypse! Kill the transvestite freak! Too Gay for the Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach!" This time instead of driving away in a 4 door white truck driven by a bald man, this time he two women were alone and drove away in a gold Volvo late 1990s vintage suv station wagon.
The usernames now showing up on my mother's social media, and the Atwater relative's social media is significant, because, according the these FBI agents.... those are the exact same Atwaters who are REFUSING to talk to the FBI, slamming the doors in the FBI agents faces, and also, are the most vocal on social media in spreading the alien/UFO/witchcraft/cat rumors about me. And the FBI believes they not only know who the golf club murderer is, they likely were involved in planning the November 14, 2013 attack... and every one of them has been seen with the Sanford Ward LDS Church members who are likewise the biggest defamatory gossipers, running around slandering my name with their lies about witchcraft/curses/aliens/ufos/and cats.
AND... on top of that... they ae the EXACT SAME Atwaters ans Sandford Ward church members whom have spent the last two years bombarding my Biddeford apartment with these same rumors while the vandalize the building, which the landlord now has to spend the summer repairing.
AND... these are the same people who are also claiming, they had no clue these murders were going on in the Scarborough Marsh.
Overall... these people who are denying the events of the Scarborough Marsh murders, while simaltaniously going overboard gibbering lies about me online, are really working overtime at making themselves look like they were involved in the November 14, 2013 murder of my son, and making themselves look tremendously guilty of not only knowing who the killier is, but trying to cover up for the killer, and attempting to gaslight me with their weird alien rumors, in an attempt to make people not see their connection to the killer, that they are trying so very blatently to hide and are only succeeding and shining a mega sized spotlight of suspision on themselves, leaving everyone who is watching them doing it to ask: What the fuck did they do, that they are trying to hide so damned bad, that they are going mega big time slanderfeat screaming about aliens and ufos all over social media, trying to convince people that I believe in aliens and ufos when there are 40+ years of documented evidance of me debuncking aliens and proving their ufo accusations to a be a hoax they created to cover their own asses over a drug raid from 1982? And now they are rearing up their alien accusations again, which again, I can prove to be a hoax, because... what are they trying to cover up THIS time? Last time they rolled out the alien accusations they were trying to blame literal toddlers for the 1982 drug raid, by saying that 4, 5, and 6 year old children saw aliens... 72 people were arrested in the 1982 drug raid... there were no aliens... if anyone was seeing aliens, it was the drug addicted having drug induced hallucinations... and yet, those same drug dealers, now out of prison, are once again pointing to aliens, this time because they are mad that the FBI showed up to ask if they knew anything about the murder of my son.
???
Can I ask, what the fuck does not real, fictional aliens they saw because of drugs, during a 1982 drug raid, what does that have to do with my son being murdered?
And are they really that retarded that they think I control the FBI and tell the FBI what to do? What the fuck? Them coming over here and screaming for me to stop sending the FBI to their house, when I didn’t even know these people were relatives, never heard of them before, and wouldn’t even have had a way t tell the FBI a blooming thing about them at all, just makes them look suspicious, because for one thing: who even are these people? I still don’t know who they are! And for another thing, why do they think I sent the FBI over to them? And again: who are they? There are over 400 Atwaters and I’ve only ever met 7 of them, I don’t know the names or faces of any of the others, I don’t even know all the names or faces of the original 12, so I can’t figure out how they’d think I would know the names or faces of any of the kids, grandkids, or great grandkids of the original 12. What the fuck?
How are the Atwaters so full of themselves that they think I would have one iota of a clue anything about them, when I’ve never met them and I don’t even know their names… and also… why would I care? Tell me that? Do you know any sane person who knows the names of their parents in-laws.
Yes… my parents in-laws… in-laws of in-laws… not even blood relatives, but the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandkids, and great grandkids of in laws of my parents’ in laws… who in their right mind would even know the names of such distant relatives…
You, reading this right now… can you name your parent’s cousins? Do you know the names of your mother’s uncle’s great grand kids? Do you?
Can you see how utterly stupidly ridiculous the Atwaters are being, when they show up here yelling and screaming, and expect that I should know who they are or what the fuck they are talking about:
Newsflash: normal people don’t live in 400 person large family herds.
Normal people don’t live in herds.
Normal people don’t swamp in shark style frenzies in the driveways of distant relatives of your great grand pappies 5th removed cousin of an in-law, either. What the actual fuck?
And on top of everything else, there are Awaters running around screaming that I am vandalising some grave… the grave of a distant relative whom I never heard of before, so I don’t even know where the grave is… when I’m here bedridden and crippled and not even capable of going to visit my own son’s grave because… oh look: I’m crippled and stuck in bed with a broken spine and severed spinal cord for the past nine years!
You know… if you are going to accuse someone of going somewhere to vandalize something, you might want to first make sure that person is not wheelchair bound, bedridden, and crippled for a decade with a broken spine, so unable to even get to the place you are accusing them of going!
Also… since the day my son was murdered, I have a camera running 24/7 so, it’s pretty foolish of you to lie about me when I can not only prove you are lying, I can also prove every time you’ve been screaming in my driveway, because I have you on camera. They didn’t think of that did they? Oh no, of course not, why would they? They were too busy thinking about those aliens and witches they can’t stop gibbering about.
But look at this cross... Do you remember Timmy Murphy? He was the 5 year old with curly black hair, who was also accused of aliens during that 1982 drug raid. They called us The White Monkey Children, because we found Helen Pearly's missing pet white monkey. And the people arrested during the 1982 drug raid, many of them Atwaters, pointed to that white monkey that had escaped from White Animal Farm, a zoo in Old Orchard at the time, they pointed to that white money and called it an alien. Helen Pearly, look her up, is the founder of the Scarbourgh Marsh preserve, an animal preserve that started out with one pet white monkey, and is today, many thousands of acres of protected land known by the name The Scarboughorgh Marsh.
Can you see NOW why the idiots screaming aliens are seen as so damned idiotic?
But can you also see the names on the cross?
https://www.eelkat.com/images/cross.jpg
There were 31 children involved in helping Helen Pearly capture her escaped pet white money.
Drive through the scarborough marsh looking at the names of the beheaded victims on those crosses... 29 of the 31 White Monkey Children are now dead, killed and tossed in the marsh, where 40 years ago, they helped little old lady look for her lost pet albino monkey.
Every one of them accused of being alien abductees; accusations which was screamed ONLY by the drug dealers and drug users of the 1982 drug raid, which took place in the Scarbourough Marsh.
The only people who accuse me of aliens are the people now out of prison, who went to prison because of the 1982 drug raid... a drug raid known to locals as "The 458 Shoot Out" due to one woman screaming "Four! Five! Eight!" in between each time she loaded up her shotgun.
Everybody that has shown up in the marsh since June 2001, has been either one of the now adult White Monkey Children, or one of their children or grandchildren.
EVERY - SINGLE - ONE.
Go to the marsh, look for the crosses. Read the names. My cousin Timmy Murphy's cross is not the only one and if you open your eyes and start looking at the side streets all through the marsh, you'll see one hundred and twenty of these crosses, some with 5 or more names on them. Crosses the entire country has seen on Dateline, 20/20, and dozens of unsolved crime shows... crosses that the Atwarers and their friends at the Sandford Ward church, are right now, this very week, posting all over social media, claiming aren't there, claiming I'm the only one talking about them, when clearly I'm not seeing hoe Dateline and 20/20 are pret big international news shows... and also claiming "Yeah EeelKat's crazy, she believes in aliens" when its extremely well documented my not believing in aliens and my debunking alien abductions as hoaxes... and these same people are also trying to convince people on social media "cats!".... but the cats were my mother's not mine, and my son was murdered November 14, 2013, two years before my mother's cat incident occurred.
These people are making total idiots of themselves, because all any one has to do is look up the new reports about the Scarbourough Marsh murders and the Cascade Murders to see that since June 2001, a LOT of people here in the marsh have been murdered, and originally they were not thought to b connected, but, now it is known that they are.
I wish these crazy ass Atwaters and their weird Todd Murphy obsessed Sanford Ward lunatics and their alien abduction ufo nuts, would leave me and my family alone. I don’t know what their problem is or why they are so obnoxiously hell bent on stalking my family and harassing us like this, but I am getting pretty damned sick of it. I have enough shit to deal with with, oh, I don’t know, half my family being murdered, my son’s killer still being on the loose, 9 years bedridden and still relearning to walk, … I don’t need these fucktards jumping into my life and trying to grab their 15 minutes of fame by tampering with the FBI’s investigation into hunting down my son’s murderer.
Know the truth. The truth will set you free.
Developing Better Writing Skills
or answering the question:
"Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?"
Uhm... I don’t even know where to begin.
We are going to use a strange email as an example of what you should NOT write and hopefully everyone who reads this will see how they can take this email and use it to become better writers and develop better writing skills.
Perhaps, someday even the person who wrote this email, will stumble across this page and realize WHY a TOR editor called them illiterate.
It is fairly obvious that this email was intended to be sent to someone else and somehow got sent to me by mistake, so at first I was going to just toss it aside. But than I got to thinking, the grammar of this email is so bad, maybe I can use it as a writing lesson to help other improve their own writing.
And so, here we are. I'm going to post this email, than I'm gong to answer it. Hopefully my answer will show you what they did wrong and help you to avoid making the same mistakes.
I think the person who wrote this email may be drunk or high or off their meds or... something.
Also, I’m wondering if they sent the email to the incorrect person? Parts of it appears to be written as though they were replying to something, but this is no one I’ve ever heard of before. Perhaps they mistyped the email address and mine was 1 letter or number off from the person they were sending this too?
I don’t know.
In trying to translate the mindless, gibbering, rambling, I think, it sounds like they got rejected by TOR, sort of, It sounds like TOR liked their manuscript and asked them to make some grammar changes to make it sound less illiterate, and rather than jump on the rare opportunity to get published by one of the biggest of the Big 5, they got drunk and wrote this email and for some reason sent it to me.
That’s what it looks like at least. Near as I can tell.
All I can say with any assuredness is that the subject title of the email, certainly matches the body contents of the email.
The subject/title is: “Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?” and the contents of the body are certainly illiterate, that’s for sure.
On some levels I’m wondering if it’s someone’s idea of a joke, given that the subject was: “Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?” and then the contents of the body is the most utterly illiterate tripe of gibberish I’ve ever read.
This person claims to be an editor and yet, it’s clear they don’t have even a basic 3rd grade level grasp on the English language. The grammar is barely legible. And the train of thought jumps topics mid sentence, and has clearly skipped major thought points in between the jumps leaving it impossible to figure out what they are talking about at all.
The email starts out okay, but quickly devolves into gibberish.
But rather than try to describe it to you, I’m just going to copy and paste the entire email and let you read it for yourself.
I’m not sure what to think of this email. I’ll try to answer it, seeing how they sent it to me. But damn, this is an email you have to see to believe, so here it is in it’s entity ... read it and see what you think about this wild gibbering illiterate mess of unedited train of thought:
.................
Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?
I feel, just talking about my work and knowing I've completed it and it's one piece of the 10+ books in my world, gives me some form of excitement about it all. It shows that I still have a lot to improve and that's exciting too. Some people read my work and it's so cool to discuss my characters like they're actual characters, even if I haven't published yet, and I definitely want to polish it more.
I don't know what it is. Maybe it's an accumulation of everything I'm facing in life as once but it was really passionate about this work. I wrote the novel in 5 months and then proofread it. And began pitching it but so far only rejections (I don't think they go to me as I can still feel excited and I want to improved) but I just don't feel the love I did back then. I'm going over it again and even have ideas on how to improve it, but I don't feel the same energy.
I help people as an editor, and I think I'm good at at it. I know a lot about story as a whole, and it's easy for me to help writers in multiple ways.
But for my own stories... It just feels like they keep growing in my head, and I keep getting cool ideas I want to write about, but I can't seem to get to work. It's a weird feeling because I was able to have the discipline to finish my novel in 5 months and it was my third attempt at a novel too. Some part of me thinks the writing sucks how because I've grown and look back at it, but then I'm like I'm over thinking it because most people won't be so critical about it as I am - people usually do end up what I write (not sure why though haha).
Another issue is that since I have a lot of ideas, I wrote this first novel to introduce my world. It was a standalone piece with sequel potential, but I didn't really write it to have a sequel. But now I'm getting some ideas for that too.
I've been writing another story in the same universe, shorter than my main idea for the world but still much larger than my existing novel and it just seems so hard to juggle 10s of characters because I want each to feel fulfilling in every aspect. And also, what if I write something weird or wrong now, and ruin the foreshadowing/logic of things to come later. I want it all to make sense and the more the ideas keep growing, especially as I have characters I want to continue in different books so I don't want to lose a feeling of continuity...
But then again, even published and professional books and shows make these kinda mistakes and I'm probably overthinking it. But I just want that passion for writing back where life and the ropes of recognition didn't bind me. I'm not sure how to find that again.
I've talked about this a lot. With myself and others. But it's been months of not writing and I tell myself I want to write everyday but then I either I procrastinate or life gets in the way... Like I shouldn't even be writing this post.
I just wonder how I had the discipline to work on my craft before, and now I feel burnt out for months.
So much that it irks me, not that I'm in that situation, but more so that that's just how things work. Which is very normal, but it does make me question why people like simpler prose, when a lot of depth in writing actually comes from an author's way of words.
For me, I would normally opt a visual story over a book just because how simple a book is. So usually, it's the way something is written which draws me in. I can see the effort put into the words. And that shows quality over quantity.
Nothing is stopping me. I was just having a thought at how critical some on social media can take a comment/post and judge someone's whole life or career over it. Just a thought.
But people who don't understand this... I just don't understand what's so hard about it.
It's not that everyone doubts or misunderstands my work, but some do.
Which makes this process quite weird and way more subjective than something similar in a visual medium.
But if you do something even remotely off the path in fiction writing, oh my look at you, you don't even know English grammar.
But the same logic can be applied to simple styles with no defining identity.
I won't be naming anyone, obviously, but they exist for sure. And it really makes me question how some authors are published.
Essentially, that "good" is subjective.
And also that people are way more picky about petty stuff when it comes to writing compared to other art.
I mean I had an editor at Tor read it and I think he read it cuz he liked it. But then he gave me some points. But now I thinking and thought of how to integrate those points but I also don't want to lose my own vision... But it's Tor too...
It scares me even more because he didn't talk about publishing but he did read it and his response was professional. He only gave me one vague line that he liked it but that seemed the most appropriate way to go about feedback. I doubt he would have requested full MS if he didn't like what he read.
Firstly, never once did I say I was better. I don't know how that came to be. I just noticed some errors and style differences. I've noticed errors in writing I enjoyed. I've had experienced readers say to me, who enjoy Sanderson, that his prose isn't strong. No one is perfect, and popularity doesn't indicate quality. It's so easy to throw out a famous name as an example of prestige when there are many factors that go into it.
Secondly, I understand. It's easier to work on first drafts or guide others, but I can't see my work from fesh eyes and so I was just wondering how others self edit their work.
A lot of the times I think my work just sucks so it's a very weird situstion for me to be in. I'm just trying to understand my own writing because I've had people say my work is good, in fact if I'm being honest, it's all I ever hear which raises even more questions but I don't think they're saying it to be nice at all because of the context of are talks.
I know what I do, but sometimes it's easy to lose track of it or get lost in the work. I just came here for suggestions and perspectives, not to be told how the industry by a certain someone who thinks they know better when I've been in contact with professionals before...
A) I do doubt my work, regardless. B) Even after feedback, it makes me doubt my work more. I just don't under why an editor at Tor would read my work for no reason at all. It's left me very confused. As he's been nice to me and I want to send it again, but I'm so unsure about it now. C) Yes. I've lost interest in this work currently. But I do like writing as a whole. But this whole industry seeking thing has made it hard. It was so much easier to write before I tried seeking publishing.
I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.
Thank you.
And yes, just send me a chat message and we can do something about the sample. I think I need to have confidence in myself, but I by no means think I'm better than everyone, especially when art is subjective.
I don't have to prove anything to anyone. But some part of me is glad you did it, now I know. I think it's better to just stop asking social media...
And the thing about people's point is that people would form a judgement before reading the work, then one after reading the work, then another after reading my other styles. The outcomes is usually positive.
How easy it is for people to flip flop and assume things when they have almost no context (and the downvotes I get, just for expressing my views, show that).
I like criticism as it allows me ample perspective into my world, and how I can apply it to make it even better. And I have been applying it, and it feels good to be able to think about the work.
So when someone recommended books and authors, I was appreciative of their comment. I even said thanks but even that was downvoted lmao.
But people giving me general advice I already know, doesn't add much. And when I try to give my view, it's like I'm automatically wrong. And no, I'm not taking social media seriously. And I write both for myself and others, so I'm always trying to reach a balance that's best for us, but I also don't want to lose the reason I write.
I was just wondering how others express their style. But so far, I've seen people struggle with their works and then give critique like they're perfect, it's just a sad situation. People don't even know my background.
I think it came out well. My writing experience has been very different.
But anything can be improved.
I truly believed it was in a good state overall, from a story perspective. But now since time has passed and from the feedback I've gotten, I've ideas to make it better but that's only natural.
Also, I got into writing pretty past, and wrote it fast, and submitted it. I never knew about a lot of stuff. It all hit me like a train. And honestly, I'm happy for it. I see so many people stuck in stuff and questioning that do they have to follow this rule or that... I was free of it all.
And maybe I've attained a bit of that curse now, but overall writing is free and that's how it should be.
.............
Well, there it is.
What do you think of it?
Where you able to understand it? Because I certainly wasn’t.
It’s 91,755 words long, nearly as long as the answers you find here on my website.
I’m not sure if I should do one of my usual line by line answers or not, because if I do that, damn, this page is going to be super, mega long.
Should we do a line by line response to this bizarre email?
I think we have to, just because of how much it jumps topic.
Well, let’s have a go at it...
>>>Why do people see fictional style as being illiterate?
Do they?
In nearly 5 decades of writing, publishing, running an advice column for writers, being the editor in chief of 2 literary magazines, and dealing with literally tens of thousands of writers, publishers, reviewers, editors, and critics, I’ve NEVER heard anyone call the fiction format “illiterate”.
I'm wondering if you even know what illiterate means.
It means a person who doesn’t have a clear grasp on grammar and is incapable of communicating with others because they can’t speak or write in proper grammar.
And... you most certainly ARE illiterate. Your email is a glaring testimony of that.
Being illiterate in itself is not a bad thing, but if you plan to be a writer who seeks publication, you DO NEED to have at minimum a working knowledge of high school grammar, and you don’t have that. Please go back and read the email you sent to me and you’ll see what I mean.
You ARE in desperate need of taking English grammar Remedial Adult Ed classes.
Your grammar is absolutely, utterly atrocious. A grade school child would have trouble reading it. Yes your grammar is that bad.
If your manuscript is written in even a quarter of the horrendously atrociously bad grammar you used in this email, you’ll never get published.
Being fiction isn’t why they called your work illiterate.
They called your work illiterate because, you most certainly ARE illiterate, and you need to accept that and work on fixing it. Until you learn how to use grammar correctly, you have no hope of ever being published.
And you mentioned that a TOR editor liked your story, but wanted you to fix the illiterate grammar.
And rather than fix the bad grammar and resubmit the manuscript again, you write this gibbering bull shit to other authors?
Damn.
You arrogant little fool. Do you have any idea what type of publishing contract you just threw away?
TOR makes movie deals. Chances are very high that if you get published with TOR, you’ll get made into a movie as well.
You are so arrogant, so self righteous, so unwilling to improve your flaws, that you’d throw away a TOR contract?
WOW!
Not only are you illiterate, you are also the biggest fool of an idiot I’ve ever encountered in the publishing industry.
Why don’t you just higher an editor to improve your draft, take some remedial Grammar classes, and spend a few months rewriting the draft, than send it in to that TOR editor again?
Clearly he liked it and wants to publish it.
TOR doesn’t take first time authors and they don’t read anything unless an agent sent it. I don’t know how you got your manuscript in the hands of one of their editors, but damn, your story must be VERY good for them to consider a first time author without and agent.
You’ve got a really good deal on your hands here.
Don’t throw this opportunity away.
Get off you ass and learn to write pristine, correct, proper grammar, fix the manuscript and send it back to him.
If you want to get better at something, you have to practice and writing is no exception. Editing your grammar is a part of the writing process. Learn hw to do it. Than practice, practice, practice.
You have a big house editor who thinks your story is good, but thinks your grammar is illiterate and has asked you to fix your grammar.
Get a book on grammar and use it to edit your story.
>>>I feel, just talking about my work and knowing I've completed it and it's one piece of the 10+ books in my world, gives me some form of excitement about it all. It shows that I still have a lot to improve and that's exciting too. Some people read my work and it's so cool to discuss my characters like they're actual characters, even if I haven't published yet, and I definitely want to polish it more.
10+ books and you sound like you've burned out before even finishing the first one? That's not a good sign.
This line sounds like you are still ready to go at it, but the rest of your email sounds like you've lost interest and given up on the idea.
You won't get far in this career if you get so badly deflated after one editor rejects your manuscript.
Sorry, but you need a reality check here. The average writer will get 130 rejection slips before they publish their first novel.
Get a backbone, grow some balls, edit your manuscript, and try sending it out again.
It's what writers do.
Here you admit you have a lot to improve. Later you bitch about how great it is and doesn't need fixing. Than you go back to saying it does need fixing and talk about giving up on the project because there is no excitement in editing.
Writing is hard work.
Yes, it's fun. But it's not fun 24/7.
There is a lot of long, boring, grinding, hard work, and if you ONLY want to stick around for the fun parts and shirk off the hard stuff, than this career is not for you.
>>>I don't know what it is. Maybe it's an accumulation of everything I'm facing in life as once but it was really passionate about this work. I wrote the novel in 5 months and then proofread it. And began pitching it but so far only rejections (I don't think they go to me as I can still feel excited and I want to improved) but I just don't feel the love I did back then. I'm going over it again and even have ideas on how to improve it, but I don't feel the same energy.
It's called the Newlywed Effect. It means the honeymoon is over and reality is starting to set it.
Fun and games are done, goofing off and lazing around are over. It's time to buckle up, knuckle down and start grinding away at the whet stone until you've polished that manuscript into crisp, clean, perfection.
>>>I help people as an editor, and I think I'm good at at it. I know a lot about story as a whole, and it's easy for me to help writers in multiple ways.
Uhm... honey, given how utterly atrocious your grammar is, I think you need to find a new line of work. If you can't be bothered to edit your own email correctly, than I sure as hell wouldn't recommend you as an editor to a newbie writer.
It's painfully clear you are one of those know-nothing FIVVER editors who can't tell his own ass from a hole in the ground, and not a real, actual, professional editor working for a publishing house.
You aren't even writing at a 3rd grade level.
That means an 8 year old can edit better than you can.
That's truly terrifying.
With how bad your grammar is, how extremely illiterate you grammar is, you have no business trying to edit other people's writing.
You are simply not qualified on any level at all.
Work on learning how to edit your own emails before you try to edit other people.
>>>But for my own stories... It just feels like they keep growing in my head, and I keep getting cool ideas I want to write about, but I can't seem to get to work. It's a weird feeling because I was able to have the discipline to finish my novel in 5 months and it was my third attempt at a novel too. Some part of me thinks the writing sucks how because I've grown and look back at it, but then I'm like I'm over thinking it because most people won't be so critical about it as I am - people usually do end up what I write (not sure why though haha).
Ideas are easy to get.
Ideas are a dime a dozen.
Ideas are meaningless and will never become novels.
You need characters.
No one cares about an idea.
Readers care about characters.
Either you are using the word ideas very, seriously wrong here and you haven't got a clue what you are talking about, which given how bad your grammar is, I feel if highly likely, or, you simply have no clue how a novel is put together.
In fact, your email reads like you are someone who has never read a novel in their life and wouldn't know a novel if it hit you in the face.
People who read a lot, usually have a good grasp on grammar and can write at very professional levels.
You are writing borderline gibberish that is disturbingly illiterate and you don't seem to be aware of how really, really, really bad your grammar really is.
>>>Another issue is that since I have a lot of ideas, I wrote this first novel to introduce my world. It was a standalone piece with sequel potential, but I didn't really write it to have a sequel. But now I'm getting some ideas for that too.
Uhm... do you even know what a novel is?
Have you ever even read a novel?
Novels aren't about worlds. Novels are about people.
Novels tell the story of a snippet of a character's life.
You're writing a novel, not a travel guide. You know that, right?
Are you sure what you are writing is not a world building guide for Dungeons and Dragons or Pathfinder?
Sadly I see this often.
People who never read a novel before, but have played a lot of DnD, build huge massive worlds, than bitch and moan that they have lots of ideas but can't make anything form a novel.
Try reading an actual novel.
If you want to see an example of a series well written: try reading Harry Potter. 8 novels. A well built world. But the story follows the life of one character. Each novel spans the space of 1 year. The series follows 8 years of his life.
Read that. All 8 novels.
Than you'll see what I mean.
Volume 1 should NOT be about introducing your world. Readers don't care about your world. Readers care about your characters.
>>>I've been writing another story in the same universe, shorter than my main idea for the world but still much larger than my existing novel and it just seems so hard to juggle 10s of characters because I want each to feel fulfilling in every aspect. And also, what if I write something weird or wrong now, and ruin the foreshadowing/logic of things to come later. I want it all to make sense and the more the ideas keep growing, especially as I have characters I want to continue in different books so I don't want to lose a feeling of continuity...
Again, it feels like you have no clue how novels work.
You should NOT have 10s of characters.
You need ONE main character (often a hero, but doesn't have to be), one character who acts as a foil (often a villain, but doesn't have to be), a 2 or 3 other characters for them to interact with. Five characters tops. They can meet background or crowd characters, but those should never have more than 2 or 3 pages at the most.
If you have a lot of characters and you want to show case each of them, perhaps you could try doing what I did. It worked for me and it might work for you.
I started The Twighlight Manor series in 1978. It started out as a random one-off story that I wrote in a single day. There was no plan on publishing it, no plan on more stories. Nothing. I was a child. I knew nothing of publishing. An adult in my life, read it and sent it in to some contest, and it won and got published and gained fans who asked for more. So I wrote another story about the house, and a different character living in it.
As time went by I developed a massive database in 3 ring binders of 755 characters, all for 10+ pages each of character sheets, history, etc.
The house stood for 500 years and these characters were the people who had lived in it over that time. And I wanted to write a story about each character. And I did. But not novels. The result was 2,431 short stories, most 12 to 50 pages long, each set in the manor house, but each about a different character.
The main character, the one who built the house and later haunted it, was Quaraun, the main character of the 138 novels, which became known as The Quaraun series, while the 2,431 short stories were known as The Twighlight Manor series, and each featured a different main character from a different time period, but always set in the same manor house.
My suggestion to you is to write the novels of your series about the main character ONLY, and than, take each of your 10s of other characters and write a separate short story for each one. That way you can write about all of them, without them being in a jumble. Each gets to stand out in their own story, while the main character can move on n the novels.
>>>But then again, even published and professional books and shows make these kinda mistakes and I'm probably overthinking it. But I just want that passion for writing back where life and the ropes of recognition didn't bind me. I'm not sure how to find that again.
Not everything has to be a novel.
From everything you are saying, it sounds like your series is better suited to being lots and lots and lots of short stories.
It sounds like you have lots of plots and lots of characters and are trying to force them to fit in a novel and are getting burned out and overwhelmed because they just don't all fit together.
It sounds like you have the makings of a large series of short stories, not the makings of a 10 volume set of novels.
I would suggest you rethink formatting, and try writing lots of short stories instead of a few novels and see if tat doesn't work out better for you.
You sound like you love your world but are frustrated with there being too much to fit in one story.
>>>I've talked about this a lot. With myself and others. But it's been months of not writing and I tell myself I want to write everyday but then I either I procrastinate or life gets in the way... Like I shouldn't even be writing this post.
Perhaps you just need a break.
Nothing wrong with that.
Writing is a lot of mental energy. It wears you down. And it stresses you out, because you feel every emotion your characters feel.
Writing is very draining.
And writing every day is quite bad advice.
Federal laws do not allow employees to let workers work more than 5 days a week for a reason. The law REQUIRES you to take off 2 days a week to rest.
You'll burn out and be no good at your job if you over work yourself, that's why you get weekends off and are given vacation time.
Writing is the same way.
Treat writing like a job.
Take lunch breaks, only do it for 4 hours a day.
Take weekends off.
Take summer vacations.
Writing every day causes burn out.
And what you are describing is burn out.
Don't be afraid to take a weekend off, or a week, or a month, or even a whole year.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Think of your health first.
>>>I just wonder how I had the discipline to work on my craft before, and now I feel burnt out for months.
I received this email May 11, 2021.
Months of no writing means that you got stressed out by 2020.
Perfectly understandable.
Every one did.
Life went to shit for the entire planet.
2020 was hell. Take a year off. Rest. Relax. You probably need it. Everyone else certainly does.
Worry about getting back into writing later. Just rest now. The desire to write will return. You'll see.
>>>So much that it irks me, not that I'm in that situation, but more so that that's just how things work. Which is very normal, but it does make me question why people like simpler prose, when a lot of depth in writing actually comes from an author's way of words.
Uhm...what?
Okay this is where your email starts to swirl down the toilet drain.
The drink or drugs seemed to have kicked in at this point and went total illiteracy from here on out.
>>>For me, I would normally opt a visual story over a book just because how simple a book is. So usually, it's the way something is written which draws me in. I can see the effort put into the words. And that shows quality over quantity.
Ah! Yes. You mean you read comic books and not novels.
That was pretty obvious straight from the beginning.
>>>Nothing is stopping me.
You are correct. Nothing is stopping you. So WHY are you writing this to me? Why do you just work on your series.
You do realize that all this time you wasted writing this email, could have been spent working on your series.
>>>I was just having a thought at how critical some on social media can take a comment/post and judge someone's whole life or career over it. Just a thought.
Uhm... what?
You changed topics again.
But yes, I agree. Social media is very critical. More so since the mass influx of millions of school bullies took to the internet in 2020 when schools shut down and they found themselves with no one to bully, so they rushed to the internet and now massive hoards of toxic cyberbullies bully everyone on social media.
You sound very immature.
The fact that you were unaware that social media will judge someone's whole life or career over a single comment, tells me that you've never been on the internet until recently.
I've been online since 1996
I stopped reading social media posts and comments in 2010, when the SARS Virus shut down half the planet and trolls took the internet by storm.
Since 2010 social media has been making a mass downward spiral into trolldom. But in 2020 when the SARS virus mutated into Covid-19 and 10 years of government doing nothing about SARS caused the mass world shut down of 2020, we saw the largest influx of trolls the internet has ever seen.
You are very young if you didn't know about the 2010 troll attack. You are even younger if you only joined social media in 2020.
First impressions are important.
How you represent yourself determines how people view you. And I got to say, my first impression of you is not very good.
Your email tells me that you are a lazy ass drunk.
Drunks are nothing but gutter scum piece of trash.
Soooo... my first impression of you is that, you are a lazy ass gutter scum piece of trash.
The massive amount of grammar errors, the childish whining, and the inability to finish a complete thought from one sentence to the next, tells me you are immature, illiterate, and suffer from several very serious mental disorders that are not being properly medicated.
Much of what you say implies you are a wealthy, pampered, spoiled brat who grew up with a silver spoon shoved up your ass and have never had anyone say no to you before.
And yet, I don't know you.
Outside of this one email I know nothing about you.
You may not be a drunk, lazy ass gutter scum piece of trash.
You may not be an illiterate, spoiled, rich brat.
But guess what?
There is NOTHING in you email that says you are NOT a drunk, lazy ass gutter scum piece of trash.
There is NOTHING in you email that says you are NOT an illiterate, spoiled, rich brat.
In fact EVERYTHING about this email SCREAMS that you ARE an illiterate, spoiled, drunk, lazy ass gutter scum piece of trash rich brat.
And if you did not want me to think that about you, than maybe you should have done a better job at editing your own writing and ensuring that you used correct and proper grammar, ensuring that you didn't ramble mindless drivel like the town drunk, ensuring that you presented yourself in a professional manner.
>>>I was just having a thought at how critical some on social media can take a comment/post and judge someone's whole life or career over it. Just a thought.
If your social media comments and posts are the drunk laced, illiterate, mindless drivel you spewed out in this email, well than, I can see why people are judging you.
It is so painfully obvious that you have no education, no manners, no etiquette, and no level of any ability to present yourself in a professional manor on any level what so ever.
Yes, people on social media will judge you harshly. They do this to every one. But the fact remains, if your social media posts are anything like this email, well, you are doing a damned good job at feeding the trolls and giving them reasons to judge you. You are making it worse for yourself.
>>>But people who don't understand this... I just don't understand what's so hard about it.
You put this after your complaint about social media. Which in correct, literate, proper grammar, means you are still talking about social media.
However, given you mish-mash, broken grammar and utterly illiterate style of writing, it appears that you are back to talking about your manuscript again? I think this because the next thing you say is...
>>>It's not that everyone doubts or misunderstands my work, but some do.
So what?
Some one criticized your work.
So what?
Get over it.
You sound like Kendra Silvermander.
She writes her emails n this same weird, rambling, nonsensical, illiterate mish mash.
Do you remember Kendra Silvermander?
If you are emailing me, you SHOULD.
There once was an author jealous of my “success”. Success in this situation being that my novel had been published. Self-published. It sold only 12 copies in over a year. So no “success” here. Especially not given that she was calling me a “millionaire” because of it. Turns out we had been in the same writing group in college a few years earlier apparently, I don’t know, I don’t remember her there. There were only 5 people, all of them at least 40 years younger than her, so… yeah. But she claims she was. I published 4 novels in each of the years since, 12 total, and she had not yet published anything and was resentful because of that, even though there was hardly any sales to be jealous of. She created 52 Amazon accounts so she could leave 52 one star reviews on the book. Than in the comments under each of the 52 one star reviews, she had a huge conversation with each of her 52 accounts.
I didn’t know about it until one of my friends on Facebook sent me a message asking if I had seen the wild 1 star review spam that was plastering one of my books. They knew I never read reviews on my books, so they realized I had not seen it.
It was a fascinating popcorn worthy read, with the following line, being copy and pasted over 500 times:
“A retarded story, about a retarded character, written by a retarded author.”
Every post ended with:
“I’m Kendra Silvermander! It’s my turn to shine! You won’t step on my toes no more!”
I was somewhere into the thousandth comment when abruptly they all vanished.
I was rather disappointed that they had been deleted. It was some of the funniest shit I’ve ever read. I wish Amazon had not deleted them. Even though they were 1 star neg reviews, they were utterly hilarious to read. It was painfully obvious they were written by a jealous author who was just trying to make me and books look bad, but ended up making herself look bad.
A few hours later Amazon sent me an email explaining that a self-published author had made 52 fake accounts to spam my books with 1 star reviews. They banned her from making new accounts, deleted her author account so she couldn’t publish with Kindle, and deleted the reviews.
That’s how she and all of her 52 accounts got banned by Amazon. Kendra Silvermander’s not allowed to publish books on Amazon now because of this. Something I found out more about afterward, because she started sending me dozens of emails a day, enraged that I had gotten her banned from Amazon. She thought I had reported her reviews, but I had not. I don’t think anyone reported them at all. I think Amazon’s algorithm noticed all 52 accounts had the same ispn. I had to get a restraining order because she started showing up at my house and sending death threats. Total psycho, so it made sense later why she thought nothing of creating 52 accounts to spam neg reviews with.
It was the only time I’ve ever read any review on any of my books, so I don’t know if I’ve ever had others removed or not.
My thought is this:
Reviews are there to help readers decide what to buy. You are the author, you don’t need to buy your own book, you already wrote it, so you have no business bothering to read reviews. Reviews are NOT there for you! No reputable book reviewer writes a review expecting the author to read it. Book reviews are intended to help readers decide if the book is something they might like. The only people who write reviews expecting the author to read it, are small minded self published authors who think reviews are an excuse to hurt the competition. Authors like that never last long. You want READERS not authors reviewing your work. ALL book reviews written by authors are pointless and should never be read. All all reviews written by readers are meant to be read by other readers, not the author, so no need to read those either.
In the end, I've never read any reviews before or since and I've published 138 novels (and mean NOVEL not current lazy trend of calling 50k word short stories a novel - I published 138 novels that are 200k word novels - and over 2,000 short stories - using the ORIGINAL 1830s definition of a short story: works under 75k words - not the 1,000 word flash people call shorts these days. People often ask how I'm able to publish so much, and I'm quick to tell them, I spend my time writing not worrying about what other people think of my work. Writers who spend all their time obsessing over reviews quit writing after the neg reviews start rolling in. Others refuse to write their next book until they receive a good review to motivate them first. Me? I don't read reviews at all and can just write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, instead or read, worry, read, worry, read, worry, read, worry.
So if other reviews were deleted, I have no way of knowing, because I don't even know how many reviews I have to begin with. I find it utterly pointless to waste time reading reviews, worrying about reviews, and fussing over reviews. I don't need others to tell me if my writing is good or not. Some will like it. Some will not. That's the way this career is. No reason to waste time worrying about what others think. I like what I write, I'm excited to write the next one, that's all that matters. I think far too many writers these days spend far too much time worrying about things that don't matter - like reviews. What did we authors do before 1994? Amazon didn't exist back than, and we had no reviews to worry about. Of course it was a lot harder to self publish back than too, but we did. I published my first novel in 1978. I've seen the industry change a lot n the past 5 decades. Fussing about review rose up in 2010 and I've seen it destroy the careers of many who simply gave up writing after reading a bad review. It's a dog eat dog career and if one bad review will stop you from writing, you shouldn't be writing.
I wish more writers today would spend time worrying about issues that mattered: like the shitty ass lack of grammar skills that is a plague the past 5 years, instead of focusing on things that don't matter, like reviews.
It appears to me, that you have never received a manuscript rejection before.
And your story has never been criticized before.
And like Kendra Silvermander, you are having a teddy bear meltdown because you don't know how to deal with anything rationally.
Here's a tip: GROW UP!
>>>Which makes this process quite weird and way more subjective than something similar in a visual medium.
You are aware that actual, real, professional writers, spend their time writing, right?
We who are multi published authors with dozens of published novels, don't have time to obsessively worry and fuss over what people think of our work, because we are too busy writing the next novel.
>>>But if you do something even remotely off the path in fiction writing, oh my look at you, you don't even know English grammar.
Uhm... if this email is any example of your work, than, you, what they are saying is true... YOU DON'T KNOW ENGLISH GRAMMAR!
It has nothing to do with fiction at all.
It has everything to do with putting nouns and verb in their proper places.
If you had said English was not your native tongue, I'd be more understanding of your plight. But honey, you are waving the you have good grammar flag very high and, you don't have good grammar, not even close, and I've seen hundreds of ESL students who gained a better grasp on grammar in 2 months, than you have after a lifetime of it as your native language.
>>>But the same logic can be applied to simple styles with no defining identity.
Style, is poet e.e.cummings never using a capital letter in protest, for the sake of making a point and trying to make a stand against school not allowing black students to learn to read.
Illiterate is not knowing how to use conjunctions, adverbs, prepositions, diphthongs, or or adjectives.
Style is Ernest Hemingway, never putting a "said" tag or a name after any line of dialogue, but making each character's dialogue so distinctive that you know who is talking and what emotion they are using without the use of names or said tags.
Illiterate is not knowing how to use periods, sentences, paragraphs, or comas.
Style is Lewis Carrol's Jabberwock poem, printed in reverse so you have to read it by holding the book to a mirror, and the phrases being lined up to form the shape of a dragon when centered on the printed page.
Illiterate is throwing mindless drivel on the page and calling it art.
>>>I won't be naming anyone, obviously, but they exist for sure. And it really makes me question how some authors are published.
Uhm... Who? What?
What are you even talking about?
Is this line even connected to anything else you wrote?
How drunk are you right now?
You seem to be referring to a thought which you thought in your head and forgot to type in the email.
Who exists?
What is making you question how some authors get published?
What the hell kind of illiterate crap are you writing here?
Are you really this illiterate or are you going out of you way to TRY to write as illiterate as possible to prove a point to whomever it was that called you illiterate?
And if that's what you are doing, why did you send the email to me and not to them?
They won't get your point if you don't send your email to the correct person.
Perhaps you should spend less time drinking and more time paying attention to what you type and who you send it to?
Had you paid attention to me, you'd have known hat I publish the emails I receive when I answer them. You'd also know that I never answer an email privately, and if you want an answer from me, that answer will be posted here on my website.
I wonder hw many people will read this before you realize you sent your email to me by mistake?
>>>Essentially, that "good" is subjective.
Uhm... again... what?
What "good" are you referring to?
Again, you seem to be referring to a thought which you thought in your head and forgot to type in the email.
Are you suggesting that good is subjective in connection to grammar skills?
No.
No. You either know how to use grammar correctly or you do not.
The story, the plot, the characters, yes that is all subjective, but being too lazy to use grammar isn't subjective, it's just you being lazy.
>>>And also that people are way more picky about petty stuff when it comes to writing compared to other art.
Again, you are rambling about grammar and illiteracy why comparing writing to art.
Yes, creating worlds, bringing life to characters, sending them off on adventures, or even writing male ego female hating speculative art fiction like The Brass Door, is subjective of being good only in the eye of the beholder.
But even wild, crazed, manic male ego glorifying, unabashed woman hating art pieces like The Brass Door or psychedelic pointlessness of The Unicorn in the Garden, even as none standard art pieces of extremes, they still both used correct and proper grammar to bring fort their very art piece stories.
Your use of grammar throughout this email is none standard and a bit confusing, so I’m having difficulty understanding what exactly you are trying to convey, and this definitely could be contributing to the bad reviews.
People who read, tend to be college graduates and have a full working knowledge of advantaged college level English grammar and are not going to be very forgiven of an author who is too incompetent to at least try to use correct grammar.
If your grammar is this messed up in just a simple emailed question, I’d hate to see how messed up it is in your books.
Know-nothing teens who can’t tell a comma from a period will not notice the lack of good grammar and will gush love for your story, but adults will struggle to get past a single page if your grammar is bad.
You should definitely consider taking some remedial Adult Ed classes in English Grammar, or even consider getting a degree in English Literature, Creative Writing, Journalism, Grammar, Teaching High School Literature, or something similar.
Gaining a good working grasp on the English language is a REQUIREMENT to have a successful writing career.
Sure you can sell a few books here and a few books there without any education at all, but if you have your heart set on successful sales and a high rate of good reviews, which is what you’ve said you want, than you MUST have the best, most pristine use of grammar possible. You NEED to get at LEAST an Associates Degree in English Literature, Creative Writing, Journalism, Grammar, Teaching High School Literature, or something similar.
The better the degree, the better your ability to write on a “successful” level.
Remember the more you study and practice your art, the better you will get at it.
* An Associates Degree is 2 years of studying English grammar.
* A Bachelors Degree is 4 years of studying English grammar.
* A Masters Degree is 8 years of studying English grammar.
* A PhD is 12 years of studying English grammar.
Think about it.
A 10 year old boy can play football and be the best on his team, but he won’t win the Super Bowl until he goes to college and trains for years and years and years and years and just keeps practising and practising and improving.
Now sure, he COULD train on his own and be the best football player in his town, but, without a coach he won’t see his own flaws and he’ll keep making those same mistakes over and over.
Sure all that practice in the back yard has made him good, but it has also made him blind to seeing his flaws as well.
When he goes to college and trains with others, he has his coach and team mates there to point out his errors and help him fix those mistakes so that he STOPS MAKING ERRORS and starts to play the CORRECTLY in the PROPER manner.
Once he sees his errors and follows his coach’s instructions to fix them, he becomes even better at his craft, and starts winning the big college games, and soon he’s playing in the pros, and before long he’s playing at the Super Bowl.
But he never would have made it to the Super Bowl if he continued practising on his own in the back yard.
Writing and publishing is just like football.
Sure you can do it on your own, self publish, do your own editing, make your own covers.
Nothing wrong with that. Lots of writers do it. I do it myself. It’s great. It’s fun. BUT... if you want to be “successful” you need to train.
Yes, practice makes perfect, but if you practice by yourself, you won’t ever see your own flaws and you’ll just keep practising the same mistakes and instead of becoming a better writer, you’ll just become very good at repeating the same mistakes you always made.
In order to become a big time successful writer, you NEED to go to college and train with others. Have a writing coach (professor) who can see your flaws, point them out to you, and show you how to fix them.
And when you learn to write clean copy in pristine perfect correct and proper grammar, you’ll suddenly see yourself go from selling 100 copies a month to 1,000 copies a day, and instead of receiving mostly bad reviews, you’ll start receiving mostly good reviews.
>>>I mean I had an editor at Tor read it and I think he read it cuz he liked it. But then he gave me some points. But now I thinking and thought of how to integrate those points but I also don't want to lose my own vision... But it's Tor too...
And there it is.
Finally we get to the point of all this raving and ranting.
You were rejected by TOR.
I notice that your grammar is so bad, so poor, so illiterate, that you can't even be bothered to spell TOR correctly.
Gee... I wonder why a TOR editor called you illiterate?
>>>It scares me even more because he didn't talk about publishing but he did read it and his response was professional. He only gave me one vague line that he liked it but that seemed the most appropriate way to go about feedback. I doubt he would have requested full MS if he didn't like what he read.
His response was professional ... unlike this illiterate email you have sent me, bitching about how you've been accused of being illiterate.
If he told you your grammar was illiterate, WHY do you think he would talk about publishing?
He told you to improve your writing.
So, here's an idea... why don't you take his advice and improve your writing?
Sending drunk crazed illiterate emails to random authors online isn't going to improve your writing. It really isn't.
>>>Firstly, never once did I say I was better. I don't know how that came to be. I just noticed some errors and style differences. I've noticed errors in writing I enjoyed. I've had experienced readers say to me, who enjoy Sanderson, that his prose isn't strong. No one is perfect, and popularity doesn't indicate quality. It's so easy to throw out a famous name as an example of prestige when there are many factors that go into it.
Uhm... what?
Can you stop changing topics from one sentence to the next?
Good god!
What the hell is wrong with you?
Did you even make an attempt to READ what you write before you clicked the send email button?
Are you saying that the TOR (not Tor) editor said you said you were better than him?
And what do you mean you noticed errors and style differences?
Are you saying you actually wrote to a TOR editor about a book he edited to tell him he missed some errors?
OMG! How the fuck arrogant are you?
Who died and made you god?
Also, who is Sanderson? Never heard of him.
>>>No one is perfect, and popularity doesn't indicate quality.
True.
True.
Very true.
But who cares?
What does it matter to you?
Again, you are sounding like Kendra Silvermander here. A legendary, now very famous unpublished author, famous for her jealous rampages and screaming mindless illiteracy, sending emails not unlike this one, arriving at author homes wielding golf clubs, all because she saw an author self-publish 4 novels in 1 year, and she couldn't stop writing hate filled emails to finish her novel and get it published, so she had a jealous crazed meltdown, built a bomb, and murdered an entire family. For what? She could have spent that time finishing a novel. Now she's spending time in prison.
How much like Kendra Silvermander are you?
Will YOU be in prison soon too, because you also could not mind your own business?
Think how much you could get written of your series if you was not being a stupid ass nosey bastard.
Think how much work you could get done if you weren't drinking and writing these emails?
Think how much work you could have done, in the time you spent emailing a TOR editor telling him he couldn't edit a novel good enough.
You are a busy body who spends too much time worrying about what others are doing.
Why don't you try minding your own business and stop sticking your arrogant know it all nose in places it don't belong? Did you ever think of that?
>>>Secondly, I understand. It's easier to work on first drafts or guide others, but I can't see my work from fesh eyes and so I was just wondering how others self edit their work.
Are you asking me for advice?
Is there finally a point to this email and why I received it from you?
My editing process is already posted online. Go read it.
You didn't have to send me this crazy ass email to get that advice. It's already available online.
>>>A lot of the times I think my work just sucks so it's a very weird situstion for me to be in. I'm just trying to understand my own writing because I've had people say my work is good, in fact if I'm being honest, it's all I ever hear which raises even more questions but I don't think they're saying it to be nice at all because of the context of are talks.
Is this the good is subjective part you were talking about earlier?
A lot of people are going to say your work is good, just because they either don't want to hurt your feelings or because they don't want to admit they never read it at all.
In the end, it never matters if someone thinks your work good or bad. All that matters is that YOU enjoy reading your work.
Yes.
Read what you wrote.
Far too often I see unpublished writers complaining online that they can't read what they wrote, citing that their writing is "too cringe to read".
Uhm...
If the author loves the character, the reader will love him too.
If the author cried during the scene, the reader will cry too.
If the author can't read it because it's too cringy, the reader won't be able to read it either, and THAT is why so many remain unpublished.
If you can't bare to read your own work, how the hell do you expect the reader to want to read it?
Did you know that The Night of the Screaming Unicorn is one of my all time favourite novels, to the point that I reread it at least once or twice a month. I love reading and rereading that novel. Yes. I wrote that novel. And I not only enjoyed writing it, but I also fully enjoy reading it.
BoomFuzzy is another novel that I read and reread over and over because I love it so much. And yes, I wrote that novel too.
If you try to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no one.
You simply can not please every one, so you might as well please yourself.
Write what you are most passionate about, the story you have the most desire and drive to write. And when you are finished with that story, move on to writing the next story which fills your heart with the burning desire to write it.
This is what I believe in. And it is more than what I preach, it is also what I practice.
So with this in mind, you can see that I do not feel there is such a thing as writing the “wrong” story.
I believe that whatever story your heart desires to write, that is the best story for you to write at that moment.
>>>I know what I do, but sometimes it's easy to lose track of it or get lost in the work. I just came here for suggestions and perspectives, not to be told how the industry by a certain someone who thinks they know better when I've been in contact with professionals before...
Again, all of this just reads like a whinny, spoilt brat, who never had any one say no to them before.
So a TOR editor rejected you. So what?
It's not his job to give you suggestions or perspectives.
And yes, an editor at a publishing house DOES know better than you.
So you've been in contact with professionals. Well, whoop-dee-do. So the hell what.
Contacting a professional is a hell of a lot different than being a professional.
And you my friend are proving many times over that you have no level of professionalism in you at all.
Newsflash: professionals don't write emails like this.
You will NOT become a better writer by emailing editors and authors raving and ranting because an editor at TOR called you illiterate.
In fact, this email, will likely kill your chances of not only NEVER being published by TOR, but will also blacklist you from being published by ANY big house publisher.
You do know editors work at multiple publishing houses, using pennames, the same way authors do, right?
And you are also aware that the publishing industry is a rather small industry where every one knows every one and so you email one, they'll forward your email to all the rest.
And you do know I'm the editor in chief of 2 literary magazines and am friends with lots of editors at lots of big and small publishing houses so, it isn't going to be difficult for me to figure out which TOR editor you are raving about.
Did you think about any of that before writing this email?
No?
Perhaps you should have.
Because guess what? No one likes back stabbing bastards like you and no one is going to want to work with you, now that you've been dragging TOR's name through the mud.
TOR has their reputation to think about and writers like you are high risk.
Every publisher has their reputation to think about.
No publisher will work with writers like you who run around bad mouthing the editor who rejected you.
You have a brain, maybe you should try using it.
Brains are dreadfully useful items ad they are required for anyone seeking to become a better writer.
Tell me this: WHICH writing skills did you develop while writing this email?
>>>A) I do doubt my work, regardless. B) Even after feedback, it makes me doubt my work more. I just don't under why an editor at Tor would read my work for no reason at all. It's left me very confused. As he's been nice to me and I want to send it again, but I'm so unsure about it now. C) Yes. I've lost interest in this work currently. But I do like writing as a whole. But this whole industry seeking thing has made it hard. It was so much easier to write before I tried seeking publishing.
Oh boo-hoo. Give up writing than. Clearly you don't have the balls for this career, if one rejection causes you to want to give up.
I’ve never been inspired by bowing to the will of others.
And what MOST people classify as success, I classify as you being castrated, stripped of your balls and your dignity, forced to grovel in hopes of favor from another.
What are you?
A man?
Or a dog?
I find myself utterly disgusted by what most people think of as motivation to write, and by what you clearly see as motivation to write.
Why do you need the approval of others to move forward?
Because you have no self worth.
You lack confidence in yourself so you rely on others to pat you on the back.
Is that REALLY success?
To me, that’s nothing but failure on the truest and purest of levels.
You fail at existing, because you can not exist on your own.
You need a crutch.
You need someone to lead you along and show you the way.
You are too much of a weak willed pussy to be able to stand up on your own two feet. And because of this, I see you as a failure.
You are a failure.
You are a failure because you are incapable of making your own decisions.
You are a failure because you are incapable of making your own choices.
You are a failure because you can only move forward if others pander to your selfish ego.
You are a failure because you are willing to give up when not enough people like you.
I'm not here to teach you writing skills. That's your college professor's job.
I'll tell you how I got to where I am, and you can decide if that path is right for you too or not.
My advice?
Give up writing.
This career is not for you.
You’ll NEVER succeed, because there will always be haters. There will always be rejections. There will always be negative 1 star reviews. There will always be critics.
You pick yourself up and you move forward or you give up and rot in the gutter. It's your choice.
You can’t please everyone, and if you don’t even have the ability to please yourself, than give up now, because there is no point in you even trying to go forward.
You don’t have the mental strength, the emotional stamina, or the self worth for this business.
Millions dip their toes into the writing career, but rare is the person with the mental and emotional strength to succeed.
You MUST be able to stand on your own to succeed in this career.
You MUST be able to write what YOU want to write, without bending to the whims and wills of the market.
If you change what you write every time you get a bad review, you are doomed to fail before you even get started.
I want you to succeed, but I’m not sure you can. Just go back and re-read your question. Read it carefully. Perhaps you will than understand why I can not see any publishing success in your future.
If you are to succeed at this, or anything else in life, you NEED to change your attitude.
You NEED to have a strong self worth.
I can’t help you with that.
No one can.
That’s something you have to build up on your own.
And I say this because of your next part...
>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.
Thank you.
Psychology is a REQUIRMENT for entry into EVERY college. You MUST take it your first semester no matter what degree, no matter what college, so, you ain't saying anything special here.
Psychology is a sub-par, standard course.
Try getting a Master's Degree in Forensic Psychology/Abnormal Psychology of the Criminal Mind, than come back when you are educated enough in Psychology to talk to me on my level of Psychology education.
Are you aware I am qualified to open a practice and treat patients?
Are you?
Did you know I'm qualified to work as an FBI Forensic Psychologist?
Are you?
I write about a serial killer. My main character Quaraun, is the villain of the series, but it's told from his perspective, so he's also the protagonist. I got a degree in Forensic Psychology/Abnormal Psychology of the Criminal Mind not to get a job with the FBI, which is the ONLY job you can get with that degree, but rather, I got it to study, real world research, into real world serial killers and how they think, so that I could wrote Quaraun more accurately.
How many people do you know who would devote 8 years of college study, just to write a more accurate fictional character?
Are you willing to do that?
I think not.
You aren't even willing to improve your grammar skills.
But all of this means nothing.
What I've studied, what classes/courses I've taken, what degrees I have, all of that is irrelevant to you and your email.
And can you see why I pointed it out?
I point out what I've studied, what classes/courses I've taken, what degrees I have, so show you EXACTLY how irrelevant it is to this conversation, and show you how utterly irrelevant it was for YOU to say:
>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.
Thank you.
Why did you say this?
You just spouted it out at random.
>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.
Thank you.
It seems so utterly pointless.
You're right.
You don't need my feedback, so why than did you email me?
You are also correct in that I know nothing about you... outside of what you said in this email.
I've never heard of you before.
Why are you emailing me?
And this line, it looks like a reply.
What are you replying too?
Again, it looks like you were too drunk to know what you were writing and also too drunk to send this email to the correct person.
I feel like you were sending this email to someone else, someone you were already talking to.
But since you said it, let's address it.
>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.
Thank you.
Okay. So how does this help you become a better writer?
You can study something, sure, but unless you apply it to your every day life, your studies are for naught.
I know a guy who has over 200 college degrees. Yes, 200+ college degrees. He lives in an oil barrel. No, not a big one. It's barely big enough for him to crawl into.
He has active TB and is highly contagious. He's infected dozens of college students. He doesn't have a job. He started going to college to dodge the draft during the Vietnam War, and never stopped.
He's 83 years old now in 2021. He has spent more than 60 years of his life, endlessly in college, out of fear of more drafts, and he lives 100% off of financial aid, study grants, and scholarships.
ALL of his degrees are in liberal studies and psychology, mostly focused on religion.
You'd think someone with so many degrees, he'd be pretty smart.
But he believes god is an alien living on Kolob, and he thinks the American president is a shape shifting reptilian. He can barely string a full sentence together when he talks, and he talks like a wild crazed madman. You'd never suspect him of having any degrees let alone more than 200, including more than 30 PhDs.
But... chances are high you know him, you've seen him, the whole world saw him January 6, 2021 when he was one of the people livestreaming himself breaking into the capital and smashing up things inside.
My uncle David is living proof, that studying something does not make one smart.
You CAN have hundreds of degrees and dozens of PhDs and still be illiterate, still be a deranged conspiracy theorist, still be a criminal, still be a child abuser, still be a spouse beater, still be an animal abuser, still be Colorado's most wanted for shooting 14 police officers, and still be wanted by the FBI. My uncle David is ALL of the above.
Education is good.
But education can also be pointless.
And in this case, I feel education is pointless.
What have you done with you Psychology studies?
Clearly you've never written any Psychology essays to be published in peer based Psychology Journals, that can be seen by you not knowing eve the most basic of grammar skills.
So, what EXACTLY was your Psychology studies?
You seem to be using Psychology studies as though you think it's a threat... but saying such only makes you look silly, and further makes you look even MORE illiterate than you were already looking.
Me, I have used my Psychology studies to improve my writing. But you, how exactly does saying you've studies Psychology improve your writing skills.
>>>I've studied Psychology. I don't need your feedback when you know nothing about me.
Thank you.
A common mistake beginner writers make and one you are making a lot of in this email, is writing overly complex sentences in an attempt to sound more authoritative. Just stop trying to sound authoritative. Be yourself. Waving your Psychology studies around like a threat just makes you look like an idiot. It doesn't give you any sense of authority. It just proves that you are scared of psychiatrists and using your own fear to try to scare others. You fear doctors looking into your mind, so you are trying to scare your critics by using your fears against them.
Newsflash, intelligent people aren't scared of psychiatrists. Actual studies in actual Psychology journals have proven that fear of psychiatrists exists almost exclusively among the uneducated, poor, and welfare bums... the same groups prone to conspiracy theories and believing in aliens or demons.
People who ACTUALLY KNOW Psychology studies, also know that only uneducated welfare bums who devote their lives to conspiracy theories, use things like "I studied Psychology" as a threat.
Sorry, but by saying this, you've made yourself look EVEN MORE ILLITERATE and EVEN MORE UNEDUCATED, than had already looked BEFORE you said this.
You ain't winning any prizes for making yourself look educated.
>>>And yes, just send me a chat message and we can do something about the sample. I think I need to have confidence in myself, but I by no means think I'm better than everyone, especially when art is subjective.
Sample?
What sample?
Did you send a sample of your work to someone and they gave you feedback and this answer is you responding to them but you sent it to the wrong person?
You act like you think I've read your manuscript, but, you never sent one to me.
And if you had, I would have burned it.
I'm NOT a manuscript reading service.
And not writer worth publishing uses a manuscript reading service either. Nor do they use beta readers or alpha readers.
Beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services exist for one reason and one reason only: to scam authors out of their money.
The ONLY people who advice writers to use beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services are the beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services THEMSELVES.
Every article, every blog post, every forum post, everything that tells a writer they MUST have a beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services is written by beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services trying to convince authors they need these things when they don't.
Beta readers, alpha readers, book reviewers, and manuscript reading services WILL NOT help you get published, nor will they help you develop better writing skills.
If you REALLY want to develop better writing skills, you don't ask some know nothing teenaged brat on FIVVER to beta read your manuscript. Do you REALLY think they know grammar or good writing, when they are barely old enough to be out of diapers?
Grow up and stop falling for scams.
If you REALLY want to develop better writing skills, you do what professional do: you go to college and you get a degree in English Grammar.
You can run you ass around online, getting thousands of kids to read your work, but all they will do it fan or ego or dish out hate. They will not help you become a better writer, They will not help you improve your grammar. They will not help you get published.
The only thing they do is get paid by you to read your book for free, and that is their motive.
They don't care about helping you.
No.
They just want to get paid to read books for free.
They don't want to be bothered with paying $10 to buy a book, when they can charge stupid, brain dead, desperate wannabe authors $50 to to send them a free copy.
Use your brain.
In the publishing industry, if someone is charging you, chances are high they are scamming you.
Money goes TO the author, not away from the author.
And chat message?
Do you even have any clue who you have sent this email too?
I don't chat with anyone on any platform. Especially not strangers like you.
Art is subjective, yes. Grammar is not.
>>>I don't have to prove anything to anyone. But some part of me is glad you did it, now I know. I think it's better to just stop asking social media...
No, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. This is true.
But I didn't ask you to prove anything, nor would I. It's not in my nature to talk that way. This email is unsolicited. You are a random stranger who sent it to me out of the blue. And you act like I asked you to send it.
I find myself very confused by your email in general and lines like this in particular.
Asking someone to prove something is a childish, immature thing to do. Adults don't do that. Cry babies do that.
Asking someone to prove something, is you very simply accusing that person of lying.
In my experience, the only people who say "so prove it" are people who are themselves chronic liars and are incapable of believing anything any one says because nothing they themselves say is true.
I also live in Maine, a region that punishes lies by cutting out tongues.
No one in their right mind would dare tell a lie around here. And therefore, you never hear any one here ask someone else to prove anything.
It sounds like you were talking to an American.
Americans have a culture of endless lies, to the point that they constantly say "And I ain't lying" or "Honestly" or "Not gonna lie" every time they tell the truth. Telling the truth is such a rare phenomena in America, that they never believe anything, because they know they can't trust an American to tell the truth.
I'm not an American so stop talking to me like I'm one of the degraded, lying ass pieces of shit.
But, what is it you are glad I did?
Again, you aren't making any sense and you sound drunk, and again, I think you've sent this email to the wrong person.
>>>And the thing about people's point is that people would form a judgement before reading the work, then one after reading the work, then another after reading my other styles. The outcomes is usually positive.
Yet again you have jumped topics.
Please stop thinking half of your thoughts in your head and only writing the next half down. It's impossible to understand what you are talking about when you don't say everything you are thinking.
>>>How easy it is for people to flip flop and assume things when they have almost no context (and the downvotes I get, just for expressing my views, show that).
Downvotes?
Did you make a YouTube video and it got more dislikes than likes? What are you talking about?
I can see why that editor called you illiterate.
Damn!
And speaking of flip flopping... what exactly do you call what you are doing in this email?
You say you want to develop better writing skills, but than you flip flop back and forth between saying you are the best and saying you never said that, right after you say that.
You say you want to develop better writing skills, but than you flip flop back and forth between saying you are not illiterate while writing in the most amount of illiteracy you can muster.
You say you want to develop better writing skills, but than you flip flop back and forth between saying your story is art and doesn't need changing, to saying you want advice on how to change it.
You talk about flip flopping, but YOU are the one doing the flip flopping.
Try looking in the mirror.
Can you see what the problem is yet?
The problem is you.
Yes, you ARE the problem.
You ask for advice, than when people give you advice, you bite their hand and say they were being mean to you, when all they were trying to do was help you.
YOU are shitty person with a shitty personality and I pity any fool who takes it upon themselves to try to teach a shit bag like you how to do anything, but you are the type of person who is completely unteachable.
Your novel, is NOT the problem. And I can say that without having seen it, without knowing anything about it, because it's clear through your email that the problem is you.
You in arrogance, you are asking for help with your novel, but did it ever occur to you, that you spent so much time bitching about a TOR editor calling you illiterate that you FORGOT to send the manuscript you are asking for help with?
Sorry, but I can read your manuscript ad give you pointers on where to improve it, when you never even sent it to me.
And that again, shows you are the problem, because again, this email sounds as though it is the follow up to you having already set the manuscript to someone and them already replying to you, and you replying back to them, but you also being so damned drunk out of your mind that you couldn't be bothered to check that you sent it to the right person.
Talk about being unprofessional.
If you keep going at this rate, you'll find yourself being blacklisted by every publisher and editor on the planet.
>>>I like criticism as it allows me ample perspective into my world, and how I can apply it to make it even better. And I have been applying it, and it feels good to be able to think about the work.
Wow, how bi-polar are you?
Yes, taking critics words and improving your work is a good thing. So why don't you do it? Why are you writing this crap feast email when you could be working on developing better writing skills?
>>>So when someone recommended books and authors, I was appreciative of their comment. I even said thanks but even that was downvoted lmao.
Uhm... okay?
Did someone recommend books and authors to you?
It wasn't me, so again, I'm thinking you've made a fool of yourself here, sending this email to me instead of whom you wanted to read it.
lmao is a very unprofessional thing to put in an email to a professional, when you are looking for professional advice on getting your foot into a professional career.
>>>But people giving me general advice I already know, doesn't add much. And when I try to give my view, it's like I'm automatically wrong. And no, I'm not taking social media seriously. And I write both for myself and others, so I'm always trying to reach a balance that's best for us, but I also don't want to lose the reason I write.
Uhm... okay?
Again, I've given you no advice, so this email seems miss-mailed. But now that you've sent me this email, I will give you advice.
My advice?
You're a whinny, annoying brat. Grow up.
General advice you already know, doesn't add much?
Okay.
I don't know what general advice you were given, but, honey, chances are high that you NEEDED that advice, that's WHY it was given to you.
Just because you already know something, doesn't make the advice bad when someone tells you what you already know.
Why?
Because the general advice you already know is often the advice you need the most, because it's probably the thing you are not doing, simply because you think you are too good for the basics.
I've seen many do this. Basic grammar skills are tossed aside and than they wonder why their manuscript was rejected. Than people online read the manuscript to offer advice, and every one tells him that the story is great but the grammar sucks and is borderline illiterate, and the manuscript only needs to have basic grammar fixed. But he goes psycho meltdown saying his grammar is perfect, he won't fix it, he's not illiterate, fuck everyone, the basic advice to fix his grammar is not helpful, so he says, as he pouts away, refusing to fix his basic errors, so he goes the rest of his life unpublished because he is too arrogant to fix basic errors.
I've not seen your manuscript, but I've seen your email, and your grammar IS illiterate and you ARE making very basic errors, so I'm not surprised people are giving you general advice.
Have you not considered that the REASON so many people are giving you general advice may possibly be because you NEED that advice?
Just because you know something, doesn't mean you are putting it into practice.
>>>I was just wondering how others express their style. But so far, I've seen people struggle with their works and then give critique like they're perfect, it's just a sad situation. People don't even know my background.
Uhm... okay?
What does your background got to do with anything you've said in this email?
If you want people to know your background, than tell them.
It's on you if they don't know. You've no one to blame but yourself if you didn't tell them.
>>>I was just wondering how others express their style.
I said the before, but I'm gonna ask again: Have you ever once read a novel in your entire life? It really sounds like you haven't.
You'd KNOW how others express their style if you were reading novels.
Every author has a unique style and they express it quite well. And this is simple basic knowledge that is known by EVERYONE who reads novels.
It sounds to me like you don't like to read novels, yet you want to write a novel.
While you CAN get published having not read novels, you'll find it rather difficult to achieve.
If you were constantly reading novels, you would know what's been done before and how others have done it, you would know the standards readers of each genre expect to see, and you would know WHY stepping outside of those standards is not the best road to take.
I know you don't want to hear general basic advice, but, the best way to developing better writing skills, really is to just read, read, read, read, read, and read some more.
Read new releases. Read obscure out of print books from the 1950s to 1970s. Read smutt. Read the classics. Read trash with bad reviews. Read bestsellers with glowing reviews. Read every genre: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Romance, Woman's Fiction, ChickLit, Gothics, Bizarro, Horror, Westerns, Adventure, Mysteries, and more. If you don't want to read novels, than read short stories, they come in all the same flavours as novels do.
Read EVERYTHING. Read the good. Read the bad. Read the ugly.
And take notes.
Why did you like this one and not that one?
What was it that made you not finish this one here? What was it that made you not able to put that on there down?
The best writers out there are also the biggest readers out there.
If you ain't reading, you WILL struggle with your writing.
Believe me, it SHOWS in your writing, if you are well read or not, and your writing tells me that you don't read. You'd have way better grammar if you did. If you were well read, you'd know how incredibly illiterate your writing really is.
Here have a few...
>>>I was just wondering how others express their style. But so far, I've seen people struggle with their works and then give critique like they're perfect, it's just a sad situation.
You ARE aware that not many published authors are online critiquing new writers, right?
People struggling with their works, are generally people like you, who are too arrogant to take advice, scuff at advice they think is beneath them, and... wait... didn't you say you like to edit the work of others but you are yourself struggling to get published.
>>> I've seen people struggle with their works and then give critique like they're perfect, it's just a sad situation.
Look in the mirror much?
Yes, it IS a sad situation, especially when you can see it in others but you can't see it in yourself.
You are doing the very thing you are complaining about others doing.
Did you not notice that?
>>>I think it came out well. My writing experience has been very different.
Why? How?
You say it is different, but is it.
I can guarantee MINE is different. But are YOU, really so different than you think. You say nothing to support this, and I'm left to wonder, why you feel different, when chances are high you are not.
I'm the founder of the Proctor and Gamble Boycott. Did you know that?
Did you also know I was completely unaware I had founded it until nearly 30 years after I had done so?
I am EelKat, the one and only, Voice of the Voiceless.
Did you not research me BEFORE you contacted me?
You should have.
You REALLY should have.
Let's talk about recent events on Twitch. About a vile woman who discovered how different I really was and thought it was a funny thing to make jokes about.
And how I came to be the founder of The Proctor and Gamble Boycott.
I'm the author of a series that spans 130 novels, celebrates it's 42 anniversary this year, and feature an Elf Wizard main character. I have a 4 decade long love affair with Elven Wizards no matter where I find them.
And people wonder what the hell? Why did you get so crazy obsessed over Avallac'h?
* I love Elves.
* I love wizards.
* I hate torture.
* I have an actual medical diagnosis of having a Florence Nightingale Personality Disorder
* I have an actual medical diagnosis of having Kanner's Syndrome
* I have an actual medical diagnosis of having Severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
* I'm the founder of The Procter & Gamble Boycott, meaning vivisection is a pet peeve of mine that I fought 27 years of my life to eradicate
* I really hate torture in all forms but vivisection is the worst of all because it's how P&G killed my 2 dogs.
And the game Witcher 3 decided to drop a dying, vivisected, comatose Elf wizard, strapped to a torture table in my path.
I really, really, really HATE vivisection, and well, you can see the end result of the game giving me a vivisected Elf wizard.
Florence Nightingale Personality Disorder: someone suffering from an innate mental and emotional need to rescue victims and heal the sick; prone to developing a strong emotional, romantic, or erotic connection toward the patient being cared for
Vivisection torture: slicing open someone's veins without anesthetics for the purpose of injecting toxins into their bloodstream.
aka
The Draize Eye Test: pouring Draino, Tide, Windex, Mr. Clean, Duracell battery fluid, and other toxic household items into the eyes of cats and dogs then counting the seconds/minutes it takes for the cleaning product to burn their eyes out of their head; on beloved family pets, lost cats and dogs, bought by Procter and Gamble from your local animal shelters.
In the 1970s and 1980s P&G had no less than 3 animal test labs in each of all 50 states and advertised the Draize Eye Test as a way to put unwanted shelter animals to good medical use.
I found out about it when 2 of my dogs got lost, and we traced them to an animal shelter, but it took a week for us to raise the money to buy them back and by that time P&G had already bought and killed them.
I spent 27 years spreading the word of this and April 2013 P&G shut down all of their animal test labs and today are a animal-friendly company.
In a time long before the internet or social networking existed, I gathered together the support and backing of some of the world's largest corporations, politicians, including American presidents, and demanded an all out full stop on the sales of every product made by P&G, until they shut down their animal test labs.
I hand wrote and mailed out 21,000 letters that first year. Then took secretarial typing, trained to reach a typing speed of 175 words per minute and increased my output by typing those letters.
No, not a class. I never went to school. I was caged since I was 8. My grandmother gave me a textbook on secretarial typing and typewriter, so I could increase my output of letters that she mailed... though I never knew where she mailed them.
Over the course of 27 years I typed up millions of letters, and gained a following of 300 million (three hundred million) people to type up letters with me. Though I did not know it at the time. I was alone. No access to news, TV, none of those things. Grammy Eva mailed the letters. She was the source of the addresses of politicians and businesses... not me. I only wrote the letters. Only this and nothing more.
I was 31 years old before I had the world outside of the clan. So I had no idea, for all those years, just how big of an impact all my hundreds of thousands of letters had, had on the world, on society.
Unlike the Social Justice warriors of today, whose only real goal is 15 minutes of fame and their face on TV.... I had only one motive: for someone to please, please, please let me out this cage.
They called me "The Voice of the Voiceless" and said I spoke through the eyes of the animals. They didn't know how wrong they were.
When I found out that hundreds of millions of people read my P&G letters over the course of those 27 years I spent locked in a cage... it was heart breaking for me to see, what they THOUGHT those letters were, verse what those letters ACTUALLY were.
They thought the letters were fictional. They thought I was pretending to be a rat, locked in a cage, in an animal test lab, begging to be let out.
Nothing could have been further from the truth. And it horrified people when they found the truth.... that those letters, was not someone pretending to be an animal in a cage.... rather, those letters were written by a real, live, little girl, locked in a cage, only let on Sunday to go to church with the clan, then back in the cage, to wait for the endless line of men, who paid uncles money to rape children.
So many millions of people read my P&G letters, and mistakenly thought I was demanding animals be released from cages, when in fact, I was begging for someone to release me from a cage.
It speaks volumes.... how far, so many millions of people twisted my words, and used my words.... animal test labs were shut down in the name of EelKat Voice of the Voiceless, but not one of them, ever thought to locate the child behind the letters and find out, why she wrote so many millions of letters all begging for one thing: Please help me! Please let me out of this cage.
I wrote those letters for 27 years and no one ever helped me.
The FBI raid wasn't there for the children. They didn't even know we existed They found us while they were there. The FBI raid was for Heaven's Gate. The religious group my uncles belonged to. 39 people died in California, so many miles away from Maine. But the FBI raides every one of the Heaven's Gate Compounds trying to find out who know about the 39 murders in California... and that's how they found us children, now adults.... and world found out how wrong they were, in thinking the P&G letters was someone writing, the letters as though they were written by animals in cages. The discovery that the author of the P&G letters WAS in fact locked in a cage.... was the shock wave, that brought down the P&G Boycott and made people step back and look at how far, they had mistranslated my letters.
A child, locked in a cage, tortured, starved, and vivisected, was writing letters BEGGING FOR HELP... letters always signs "EelKat"... and the world, was so in furry, to rescue animals, they hundreds of millions of people were able to read those letters, and incorrectly assume, they were written by an adult, pretending to be an animal locked in a cage.
And those tens of millions of people, were so driven to rescue animals, that the child writing those letters, never received help and was never let out of the cage, until 27 years later, when her uncles who kept her prisoner, finally got involved with something big enough to bring in the FBI: Heaven's Gate and the murder of 39 people.
And so while, I eventually gained my freedom.... it wasn't because someone ever gave enough of a shit about me to want to help me. It was because, I happened to be found, while the FBI was looking for something else.
So no one ever did try to help me. Why? Because they were too busy with their own agendas.
Too busy rescuing animals to rescue a child.
I inaccurately get branded as an animal rights activist because of those letters I wrote.
Why?
Because people could see past their own thoughts to think that I might not have been what they thought I was.
#YOU<<<thinking about animals in cages when I was asking to be let out of a cage DOES NOT mean I was asking you to rescue animals from cages!
#I SAY WHAT I MEAN, AND MEAN EXACTLY WHAT I SAY!
#THERE ARE NO HIDDEN MEANING IN MY WORDS!
#THERE NEVER HAS BEEN!
#AND THERE NEVER WILL BE!
There is no slang, no hidden meanings, no memes, no jokes, no riddles, no pretending .... I have Kanner's Syndrome ACTUAL AUTISM.... not Aspergers. Look it up.
People had it in their heads already that they wanted to rescue animals... they just used my letters as an excuse to take action.
BUT NOT A DAMNED ONE OF THEM TOOK THE ACTION THE LETTERS ASKED FOR:
#LET ME OUT OF MY CAGE!
#STOP THEM FROM SLICING MY ARMS AND POURING DRAINO INTO ME!
#LOOK AT THE SCARS ON MY ARMS! LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO ME! DAILY FOR YEARS!
#NO BODY KNOWS THE PAIN OF VIVISECTION TORTURE BETTER THEN I DO!
#AND NO ONE EVER THOUGHT TO HELP ME BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY USING MY LETTER TO SHUT DOWN ANIMAL TEST LABS!
My most radical followers went to extremes blocking delivery trucks from entering store parking lots, taking ice picks to any product on store shelves with P&G on the label, slapping stickers with pictures of cats and dogs still alive with their eyes burned out on the bottles of Draino, and throwing buckets of blood on customers coming out of stores with P&G products in their shopping carts.
I found out about those things happening years later as I was 31 years old before I ever went outside. Going outside wasn't allowed and my hatred for the animals in cages was more my own cry to be let out of cage then anything else. I only wrote the letters. My grandmother snuck paper in for me to write and mailed the letters. The uncles didn't know. They would have beaten her and moved me to a smaller cage if they had. It shocked people after the FBI raid, when they found out, the girl who wrote the P&G letters, did so while locked in a cage, smaller and less sanitary than the cages the lab animals were in.
I hate cages. I hate them alot. It comes from 27 years locked in one.
I hate vivisection torture... a HUGE LOT... and I've got the scars on my arms and legs, to show you why.
People mistake me for an animal rights activist because of all the P&G letters. They are wrong. I wasn't screaming to let those animals out in those letters.... I I was screaming to be let myself.... and the FBI raid, the P&G letters to a back burner to shutting down every other child prostitution ring my uncles ran, and letting all the girls out of their cages. THAT was my main focus of the P&G letters. But few remember that... they mostly remember that a 12 year old girl went head to head with the largest monopoly in America, and won... and did it all while locked in a cage, sleeping in feces, going 12 days between being thrown food.... my letters went down in history, people calling me "The Voice of the Voiceless" because they said I wrote those letters as though I was one of those animals being tortured in a cage.... and after the FBI raid, they found out how damned true that was.
And still fight the bastards of the world to this day, because children don't belong in cages any more then animals do. Human trafficking takes center stage in my fight for justice today, but the P&G Boycott is the fuel that started that fire in me.
Branded as radical EcoTerrorists, The P&G Boycott was the first animal rights boycott of its kind, people rising up in mass hoards, and reached alarming levels when millions of followers rose up in every country on the planet, targeting not only P&G but EVERY company with any level of animal cruelty. And they thought they were doing it, because they thought, letting animals out of cages, was what EelKat, Voice of the Voiceless wanted.... when all she wanted was to be let out of a cage herself.
The offline social networking of the 1970s made today's online social networking of the internet, look merger at best.
The P&G Boycott spread like a plague across the planet throughout the 1970s and 1980s.
The P&G Boycott shut down the animal test labs of P&G, Estee Lauder, and Avon, while getting the words "not tested on animals" on products in the stores, and spawning it's even more radical spin off organization PETA.
The P&G Boycott was both the first and the largest Social Justice Warrior movement in history and is why we have SJWs today.
I was dubbed by my tens of millions of followers as "The Voice of The Voiceless" and since the FBI raid that finally let me out of my cage... I went on to found dozens of other boycotts, including to get the law passed that allowed LGBTQA+ citizens in America the right to own businesses.
Today we (now elderly, but still going) P&G Boycotters are currently fighting for the rights of transgender citizens and that is why I own The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus, that is what you see me going to conventions in.
And it all started with the vivisection murder of 2 dogs. An Irish Setter named Sarge and a Springer Spaniel named Bridget. The first letter I wrote.... That one went to Proctor & Gamble. It was the only one that went to them. And all it said:
*Why did you kill my dogs? They were the only friends I had. I had no one else to talk to from my cage.*
They sent me back a $10 package of coupons. A lot of good that did me.
I devoted 27 years of my life to eradicating vivisection torture from the planet... mostly because I just wanted it to stop being done to me.
Nothing is going to light a fire under my ass faster than vivisecting someone.
So... seeing Avallac'h vivisected in the Trial of Grasses, REALLY hit a nerve with me, big time, resulting in, the Avallac'h obsession you see today.
Do you have any idea how much vivisection hurts?
I do.
I lived through it for years.
I hate torture.
You can't even begin to imagine how very, very, very much I hate torture. I was tortured for decades, by monstrous uncles. And I can't stand to see any one tortured.
I've seen other torture scenes in other games, but not vivisection. They vivisected Avallac'h. Vivisection is something I know far too well.
That why I hate things like BDSM and bondage fetishes and dominatrixes so much.
Those things are people play acting torture.... but I guarantee, if they were ever really tortured, they'd never play act it again. They'd run screaming from it. Horrified.
Torture is not a game. BDSM and bondage fetishes and dominatrixes - those things shouldn't exist, because those things inspire vile perverted men to torture children.
I can't even begin to imagine, how horrible a person you would have to be, to like something BDSM and bondage fetishes and dominatrixes. Why would anyone want to take part in pretend torture? Do they not know, how much real torture hurts?
The mere mention of torture sends nightmares through my brain, bringing back old memories of the torture I went through at the hands of my uncles.
The Ugly Baby quest. It's a torture scene. And it triggered my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, really bad.
Had they not been vivisecting him in this scene.... I probably would have finished the game, and moved on to our next scheduled game: American Truck Simulator, followed by Skyrim, and FallOut4.
The vivisection scene is why, when we got to the end, instead of playing the next game as scheduled, we replayed Witcher 3, to go back and pay closer attention to this quest (Ugly Baby)... and at the same time we did that, there was a kidnapping and murder in my family, and for some reason, somehow, my brain focused on healing Avallac'h as a way to cope with the murder trial, lawyers, and court dates that became my daily offline life from May 2015 to October 2016.
June 2016, the 3, still unidentified attackers who broke my spine and hip November 2013, (and who are suspected of also being the kidnappers and murderers) returned and did it again, this time damaging my spinal column and doctors can't operate, they say it's too dangerous. Leaving me bedridden.
When the murder trial ended at a stand still because the murderer is not yet identified.... and family members I normally would have played games with weren't there because their heads had been nailed to my door... I just replayed Witcher 3 a third time instead of doing anything else.
Avallac'h had not yet taken center stage...
...and had I not been beaten, crippled, and bedridden just before reading the novels, he probably wouldn't have.
I read the novels near the end of my 3rd playthrough and, the rape scene on page 179 of Lady of the Lake, the scene that leaves Avallac'h brutally beaten, and crippled the rest of his life... with injuries nearly identical to my own... hit yet another nerve with me.... and this time a much bigger nerve then the vivisecting scene had hit.
There were other things too. The baby was another big one. I know what it is to want a baby. To lose a baby. Several parts of chapter 5 of Lady of the Lake, were hitting way too close to home with real life events of my life, each one of them drawing me to empathize with Avallac'h even more.
The vivisection started it is, the baby kept it going, and page 179 really drove the nail home.
Had he not been vivisected in the game, had his desire for baby not been so strong, and had he not been beaten and crippled in the novels... you probably wouldn't be seeing my Avallac'h Playthrough today, because those events are what inspired me to make the Avallac'h Mod and play the game the way you see me playing it today.
The problem here is... there's been any one I could identify with. How many people do you know who were locked in a cage for 27 years and continually vivisected? I don't have anyone I can talk to about it, because no one understands what it is like, because no one else ever went through it and lived. Worst Child Abuse Case in American History, that what people called it. It's a thing so rare, that the only person I can find, who knows what it's like to go through it.... isn't even real. He's a fictional character.... Do you know what that's like?
And then people like ThingyChan come along and think it's fun to take the abuse and torture I went through and make jokes and memes about it. Calling me a BDSM Dominatrix with fetishes.... doing that behind my back, while pretending to be my friend, for the full 2 years she did it.
And what happened because of what she did? She had so many people convinced that I was a deviated sex freak, that a big streamer took to raiding my Twitch channel with the raid message "deserve to be raped".
And if that wasn't bad enough, she had people so convinced that I was the BDSM dominatrix she was lying and telling I was, that 5 men showed up at my house to gang rape me. Wasn't that nice of her?
ThingyChan, OutsideLane, Zutrix, and NivanaRavenBum making 200+ VODs and posting 2,000+ Discord posts calling me a dominatrix, saying I was into bondage, BDSM, and foot fetishes, resulted in some incredibly perverted, immoral, deviated men showing up at my house expecting to have sex with me, expecting to find me willing to throw myself on them, expecting they could do anything they wanted to me.
Do you know why my family moved February 2019?
At the time I was staying with my dad on his 3rd floor apartment, in a building that had 28 families in it.
To get in the building you have to go through a front entry hall, go through 2 separate sets of doors, and then find your way through the halls and stairways to find which apartment you are looking for.
Because a group of 5 men showed up at 2AM one night. They broke BOTH the 2 front doors off and threw them out into the street.
They made their way up the stairs, punched the glass and screens out of every window they passed on their way.
With baseball bats they smashed up all o the posts on the stair railings, broke the railings off the stairs and threw them out a window onto one o the resident's cars below.
The ripped the front door off the apartment next door to mine, went into that apartment and gang raped the 2 young mothers (sisters) who lived there with their 2 and 4 year old babies.
After that they went back outside, smashing the walls on their way down, pulling out electrical wiring and plumbing pipes as they went.
Once outside they proceeded to trash the 3 cars parked in the driveway, one of them being my Dazzling Razzberry. They used their bats to smash out the glass, and smash up the metal.
They did more then $230,000 in damages to our landlord's building, put 2 women in the hospital, put my 82 year old dad in the hospital with a ruptured kidney, left 28 families homeless, and totaled 3 cars, including my car which they did $30,000 in damages to.
They told the police officers who arrested them, that they were told they could find a "BDSM Gang Bang Dominatrix" living in this building. They said they found posts on Discord that claimed I had an open invitation for men to do this. At the time, I didn't know they were talking about ThingyChan's Discord.
EVERYBODY in the building had to move because the damages were so bad that the city condemned the building.
Go watch the fucking VOD... I was streaming when they showed up. We got the damned thing recorded on camera.
We had half the police in the state of Maine show up because so many of my viewers were calling the police from all over the damned fucking planet.
#I live Maine, USA. After the arrest, the police department said they had calls coming in from Finland, Germany, and Australia, reporting a massive gang attack happening live on stream!
#Yeah... that damn attack happened while I was streaming Witcher 3 and my viewers all saw it happen.
#THAT IS THE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE SEX LIES THINGYCHAN WAS SPREADING ABOUT ME ON TWITCH AND DISCORD LYING ABOUT ME SAYING I WAS A BDSM DOMINATRIX AND TELLING PEOPLE I WAS INTO BONDANG AND BDSM AND THAT IT WAS FUCKING OKAY TO COME TO MY HOUSE LOOKING FOR GANG BANGS!!!!!!
Discord and Twitch BOTH have ToS policies stating you may not make videos or posts that...
*is threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, libelous, deceptive, fraudulent, invasive of another’s privacy, tortious, offensive, profane, pornographic or obscene, or promotes hate or incites violence; or misrepresents the source, identity*
ThingyChan, OutsideLane, Zutrix, and Niv did a hell of a lot of all of the above in their 200+ Twitch VODs and 2,000+ Discord posts about me, defaming my character, slandering my name, making pornographic and obscene statements about me, misrepresenting me and my identify, causing an invasion of my privacy by inciting hate crimes and violence.
I am deeply distressed by this.
And why did they do this?
I do not know.
Asking them why they did it, I got no answers other than they were "just having some fun" and "we was just fooling around, can't you take a joke?"
A joke?
You seriously... you call raping 2 young mothers, crippling an 82 year old man, killing a small boy, trashing 3 cars, and doing $230,000 in damages to a medical apartment building leaving 28 families homeless... A FUCKING JOKE!!!!!
What the hell is wrong with you people!
This is harassment on extreme levels of insanity!
Harassment is NOT a joke!
Rape is NOT a joke!
Vandalism is NOT a joke!
You people sure have a sick sense of what a "joke" is!
I'm asexual, a minister, have PTSD from having been been raped before... I'm bedridden and crippled from a gang of 3 strangers attacking me with baseball bats in a WalMart parking lot... the last thing I want is anything to do with sex, BDSM, or bondage. What the fuck is wrong with her spreading those malicious gossiping slanderous rumors and lies about me?
And she fucking sent those bastards to my house!
You're annoyed by my playthrough? Well, I'm annoyed by the daily dozens of emails telling me how pissed off you are.
And for those wondering:
#How many people have contacted me? How many Ciri fans have reached out to say how pissed off they are?
The number is astounding, and way higher then the total amount of views my channel has (62, 000).
Here on Twitch, since May 13, 2018, I have received hate filled chat comments and whisper messages from 7,000+ different Twitch usernames. Many of those being death threats, included 712 Death Threats being posted in my chat, just in a single month (September 2018)
However, you can find screenshots from the Avallac'h Playthrough on nearly every social media platform out there: FaceBook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Reddit, Nexus, Instagram, MySpace, LinkedIn, Blogger, WordPress, LiveJournal, and more.... in total 3.4 million usernames follow me in these places.
And though those social networks, I recieve well over 1,000 hate messages from enraged Ciri fans EVERY MONTH.... in total more than 21,000 enraged Ciri fans have contacted me through the social networks.
My website, where you can find the very NSFW nude screenshots from the sex quests that never streamed on Twitch... each image of nude Ciri with nude Avallac'h gets 50,000 to 70,000 views each month. And to contact me from there, you contact via email.
The images they are referring too, I can not post here on Twitch to show you. But I can tell you I have mods that both Ciri and Avallac'h functioning - FUNCTIONING - genitals. And it's THOSE pictures that result in the biggest, longest, most ernage, most infuriated,most hate filled emails of all.... more than 20,000 of them EVERY MONTH.
#In total, since May 13, 2018 I have received hate messages, hate comments, and hate emails from an astounding more than 300,000 different email addresses.
Ask me again why I had to turn chat off here on Twitch?
One thing The Avallac'h Playthrough has taught me is that the bulk of Ciri's fans (not Witcher fans in general - JUST fans of Ciri herself) are obnoxious, deranged, psychotic, violent, hostile men in their 30s, who can not tell the difference between fantasy and reality, believe Ciri is the ACTUAL REAL WORLD wife, and are very vocal about how much they really, really, really hate Avallac'h a lot *(usually for "touching my wife/waifu" as they put it)* and want to kill me, for posting pictures of Ciri and Avallac'h as a couple.
With the level of hostility these men use in contacting me *(a bedridden, crippled, elderly woman)*, I'd hate to see what would happen if you tossed a few of these men in the same room together.... they would most definitely kill each other, because they clearly can't tolerate any "competition for Ciri's affections" (as they term it.
I think the most frightening part of all, is that these men are so deranged, so mentally unstable, that they are unaware Ciri IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Some of them have gone so far as to talk of things they do with Ciri with take her on dates, and how enranged they are to learn that she's been sneaking off with Avallac'h, behind their backs.
Yeah. A surprisingly large amount of the emails, read like that: these are not normal fans. These are clearly mentally disturbed people who are not taking their meds and desperately need to.
And my guess, quite a few of them are former mental institution patients who are walking free only because the hospital they used to be straight jacketed in got shut from lack of government funding.
But damn.... it's not a few.... more then 300,000 of these enraged, hate filled men who believe Ciri is real and is their wife, have contacted me with their vehement hatred for not only Avallac'h, but also for me, for putting Ciri with Avallac'h in the pictures I post online.
That's a REALLY BIG number.
And the bulk of them include the phrase "I'm so pissed off" alongside "poor Ciri". While more than half of them include various death threats.
I don't get it. Is there some sort of internet meme going around, I don't know about, that says if you are talking about Ciri, you have to start every post, comment, email, etc you write with the phrase: "I'm so pissed off"?
That alongside what Claudia did, sending those men to my house, it's very difficult to even want to go on. Especially with the destruction of my car. It took me 4 years to build that car. I wasn't crippled then. My muscles had not started deteriorating yet. I could stand there for hours painting and gluing marbles. I did. It took me 4 years working 8 hours a day, to glue those 2.5 million marbles to that car.
And all that work gone, destroyed by hate mongers. Why did Claudia send those men to my house?
I don't understand what was going through her mind.
Why would you do something like that?
She told them I was a BDSM Dominatrix looking for a gangbang rape and sent them to my house. She thought it would make for a funny joke. Raping 2 women, the attempted murder of an elderly man, totalling 3 cars, and 28 families becoming homeless because the city condemned the apartment building because of the $230,000 in damages.... that's a hell of a BIG "joke". I'm not laughing am I? I see what Claudia did as funny at all.
A lot of people got hurt. How is that funny?
Three people almost died. Tell me how that is funny?
Twenty-eight families were made homeless. Why do you think that is funny?
Because it's something Ciri would do? Yeah, you're right. It IS something Ciri would do. But Ciri's not real. Ciri is a fictional character.
And Avallac'h, who you hate so much, he's not real either.
But those people who got hurt at 27 High Street in Biddeford, Maine.... those people who almost died... those people who lost their cars... those people who lost their home... They were real. They are real.
Those 2 women that got BDSM gang raped by the men Claudia sent to our house... they were young girls in their 20s, sisters sharing an apartment, both with a baby, one 2 years old the other 4 years old. Military wives. Their husbands overseas.
Those 28 families... one was an elderly couple in their 80s taking care of their quadriplegic son.
Another was a couple, whose wife was bedridden and on oxygen life support.
Another was a couple with 5 children, struggling to make ends meet... one of their sons has Leukemia... or he did... he's dead now.
And you know what? He might still be alive if his family hadn't been homeless for 2 weeks without access to proper care for him
Think about THAt.... especially you Claudia, because you are the one who told those 5 men they could come to my house and find me a BDSM dominatrix waiting for them. Proud of sex lies about me now? A little boy DIED because of you. You know that makes you? A child murderer by proxy. Can you live with yourself, knowing a little boy died because you spread lies about a crippled elderly woman telling men to go to her house to get BDSM bondage sex?
Have you noticed a trend?
It was a medical building. An apartment just outside of the hospital, that house critically crippled patents and their families.
I'm crippled. I need the help of nurse to take a bath, use the toilet, and to get out of bed and sit up here at the computer to stream. Yeah, it's that bad. That's why I lived there.
Children dying from cancer, housed next door to the hospital so their families could be with them during their long months of chemo. They lived there too.
You made them homeless.
Crippled elderly and crippled children.
You beat them up, raped them, destroyed their cars, and destroyed the building they lived in.
Real, live, crippled elderly and crippled children, beaten, raped, and made homeless, because you want to fuck Ciri's fictional ass.
Are you proud of what you did?
Your little "joke", your little Avallac'h hating, Ciri glorifying, let's rape every body and smash and trash their house.... Do you know how sick that makes you?
And you sent them to my house, telling them that I was a BDSM dominatrix.
Do you even know WHO THE HELL I AM?
I am an ordained Marija Loa!
It's a type of CATHOLIC NUN!
Marija Loa.... it means married to god.
I am an ordained minister, a priestess, my rank and title being Medsen Fey Marija Loa to Damballah Weddo, in service to Erzulie Freda and Erzulie Dantor.
I was ordained a Medsen Fey in 2003 and I'm one of only 3 nuns in the United States to become Marija Loa, which happened in 2013.
It's a fucking rank in the Catholic Church!
Voodoo is a branch of the Catholic Church.
To be ordained a minister in the Voodoo religion you are ordained by Catholic priests.
Hungans, Mambos, Medsen Fey, Marija Loa - they are Haitian words meaning Priest, Nun, Father Superior, Mother superior.
You are spreading sex rumors and sex lies about a damned nun!
Think about THAT.
Marija Loa.
A type of NUN!
Do you know what a nun is?
A nun is a woman who is married to God. Yes, as in there is an actual wedding, with wedding dress and marriage vows. She remains celibate. Sex is not a part of her life. No men are allowed to touch her.
Are you starting to see, how damn EVIL you are Claudia for spreading lies that someone like me was a BDSM dominatrix!
You sent gang bang rapists to the home of a Catholic Nun telling them that she was a BDSM Dominatrix!
Do you know ow many levels of HELL there are for you Claudia!
The absence of the car vlogs is worse than you know. I can't walk anymore, but I could drive. My car was my only ability to get outside, my only contact with people at all outside of Twitch. And with chat having to be shut off due to the hate... I have no one to talk to at all now.
The enraged Ciri fans are not just attacking online. A group of them showed up at my house. They nearly killed 2 of my neighbours, my 82 year old dad, they totaled 3 cars including mine, and left 28 families homeless after doing $230,000 in damages to the apartment building we was living in then.
Why?
Because you are so delusional, that you believe Ciri is you REAL, ACTUAL wife, cheating on you with Avallac'h, because I have pictures of them together on my FaceBook?
What is wrong with you people?
Ciri is NOT your wife. And not she's not cheating on you with Avallac'h. And do you know why?
Because Ciri and Avallac'h are NOT real.
It's just a game and these are fictional characters. Don't you know that?
Why are you people doing this?
I've never done anything to hurt any of you.
What is wrong with you?
You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
Not just the 5 of you who showed up at my house, not just the 712 who were chanting "deserve to be raped in my Twitch chat", but every single damned one of you. All 300,000+ of you who have sent me emails telling me how pissed off you are, and poor Ciri this and poor Ciri that, all your death threats, and all you stupid jackassery.
Every damned one of you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
Have you really got nothing better to do with your lives then send hate mail to a crippled, bedridden elderly woman?
Would you do to your grandmother what you do to me?
You call me obsessed with Avallac'h? Yes, that is true.... but what are you? You are far more obsessed with Ciri, than I am with Avallac'h, and while all I'm doing is playing a video game to alleviate the boredom of being bedridden and crippled, you are actually hurting people. Think about that.
Am I'm not the only one you sickos are doing this too. I'm just the only one speaking out against it.
I didn't used to be the only Witcher exclusive channel on Twitch. I didn't used to have the only heavily modded Witcher playthrough on Twitch. There were dozens of others, just a year ago. And you did the same damned thing to every one of them.
The guy who was playing the game as Radovid, the one who taught me how to build The Avallac'h mod.... the hate you sent him for doing a similar playthrough, playing as Radovid, with Lodge as travel companions, putting Phillipa as the sex quest girls... you fucking chased him off Twitch. That playthrough was amazing. Yeah, Radovid is a jackass and I can't stand hm, but hell that playthrough was awesome!
The girl playing the game as Yennefer and turning Triss into the sex girls, doing a full lesbian romance run of Yen and Triss saying fuck off to Geralt and travel the countryside together... you hate mongered her off Twitch!
Heck, the woman who was doing the Ciri run, playing the game as Ciri, using the fucking Shjall mod - the mod that turns every killable character into Avallac'h... the streamer who posts on Tumblr all those pictures of Ciri murdering Avallac'h... you even harassed her off Twitch! You ought to like her, she had Ciri killing Avallac'h every damned day! It was hysterical. I loved her streams. she found so many ways to kill Avallac'h, it was damed awesome, and now it's gone.
All the guys who were playing the game with WEE and Ghost Mode.... you hate mongered them away too.
The Legolas guy.... playing the game as Legolas; the guy playing the game as Batman, the guy playing the game as FF Cloud, the guy with Henry Cavill Geralt mods,... you chased all of them out too!
What the hell is wrong with you people?
You ain't fans of the Witcher series.
You ain't Ciri fans.
You're just a bunch of hate mongering trolls looking to destroy the Witcher modding community.
The Witcher 3 section of Nexus had 7,000+ mods in December 2018.... it has barely 2,000 mods now in 2020..... because you hate mongered the mod makers on Nexus so bad they deleted their accounts and pulled theirs mods off of Nexus.
You are hurting HUNDREDS of people.
Twitch streamers and Nexus mod makers alike.
And do you ever once step back and stop to think about who these people are, that you are attacking and hurting?
Did you ever once stop and think that you are hurting REAL people?
I can't tell you who the others you are bullying are, but I can tell you who I am:
I am an crippled, bedridden, elderly woman with no one to talk to. Alone 24 hours a day, for weeks to a time, sometimes going months between a 5 minute visit from family or friends. I have no one. And I can't get out of bed to do anything about it. It's why I play this game.
And after playing the game several times, I started making mods for it.
And because I am crippled, bedridden, elderly woman with no one to talk to. Alone 24 hours a day, for weeks to a time, sometimes going months between a 5 minute visit from family or friends. I have no one. And I can't get out of bed to do anything about it. ... I have 24 hours a day to focus on making mods for this game and in the past 3 years I've made more than 4,000 mods for it.
I don't have anything else in my life.
I don't have anyone in my life.
I'm alone in bed all day, all night, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, since I was attacked in a WalMart parking lot November 14, 2013, by 3 strangers with baseball bats who broke my spine, my hips, my knees, and left me crippled.
Did you think about that before clicking send on your hate? Or before getting in your car and driving all the way to my house, to lash out your hate in person?
I may be obsessed with my love for Avallac'h, but it pales in comparison to your obsession with your illogical and unwarranted hated for me, for Avallac'h, and for other mod makers in the Witcher community.
I'm not nearly as obsessed with Avallac'h, as you are obsessed with me.
Think about that.
I'm just playing a video game.
You are destroying lives.
I'm just here playing a video game, minding my own business, not bothering anybody.
You are running around like a rabid dog looking for something to kill.
I am a gamer.
You are bully.
Maybe you ought to take a good long look in the mirror - see yourself, the way I see you: for your are pure evil.
The extreme amount of hate and the excess levels of the hate I get from this, something that I do love very much, is depressing, terrifying, and discouraging, to say the least, especially, there is never any good or kind comments and emails to offset the hate, and when there is at the same time not one single person out there who is also a fan of Avallac'h for me to talk to at all.
#The exponential increase of hate mails since the release of the Netflix series, alongside my daily worsening health is why streams are no longer daily and no longer 12 hours.
My muscles are deteriorating, the pain in my joints is excruciating, and it is increasingly difficult for me to sit up at all, let alone get out of bed, and with the amount of hate I get thrown at me, it gets ever harder to even want try to fight against the pain in my muscles to try to stream at all, when there is little joy in streaming any more.
ThingyChan, OutsideLane, Zutrix, and Niv making 200+ VODs and posting 2,000+ Discord posts calling me a dominatrix, saying I was into bondage, BDSM, and foot fetishes, was incredibly damaging to my reputation, my career, and put my life in extreme danger.
Not only that, but what they did put 3 people in the hospital, made 28 families homeless, totaled 3 cars, and a the landlord and his family without a job. And ThingyChan, not only refused to apologize, she doesn't give a shit "because it's fun!" Well, excuse me if I don't see what is fun about being a dick and hurting people.
What the hell is with people like her? How do people get like that?
Wasn't my life enough hell without pieces of shit like her adding more hell to it?
She's no different from my uncles. stabbing me with forks, slicing my arms with shards of a broken plate... and pouring Draino into the wounds, to watch my blood bubble and foam.
Bastards out of hell every one of them.... my uncles and the jackes online who think it's funny to make jokes about what those bastards did to me.
Why do I like Avallac'h so damned much? Because I don't have anyone else and he was tortured with vivisection too.
And that picture here, of Avallac'h strapped down to the torture table, slipping into a coma from being vivisected while Vesimire says Avallac'h's nerves are damaged resulting in trembling fingers and frozen pupils... that's the scene that set me on the path that lead to the creation of The Avallac'h Mod.
I really, really, really hate vivisection and can't stand to see it done to someone, because it was done to me and I know how the hell much that hurts.
Yes, I am the REAL EelKat... since 1997 I make the laws for my people, pass judgments, and oversee punishments and executions.
Most famous for having taken down 13 Clan Kings of New England's infamous "Scottish Mafia" and rising up as the strictest, least lenient leader The Scottish Gypsies of New England have had since the 1530s.
Working alongside FBI agent Andy Drewer, I've sent 14 of The Scottish Mafia's worst drug lords and child prostitution ring leaders in prison since 2015.
I'm taking down every last man who tortured me. Every last man who locked me in a cage. Every last man who electrocuted me. Every last man who raped me. Every last man who beat me.
I was locked in a cage when I was 8 years old, left 10 to 12 days between meals, sleeping in feces, only let out when an American showed up with $20,000 to rape a child... and I wasn't let out until I was 31 years old when an FBI raid rescued me, and the 140+ others who had had the same thing done to them.
I took over the clan as its leader less then a year after the FBI raid and I've made sure to eliminate every last child abuser, every last drug maker, every last spouse abuser, every last drug dealer, every last rapist, and every last bastard who ever murdered a child.
No more children beaten to death, sawed up and buried in the backyard.
Never again, will they sell a 5 year old for sex.
Never again will a child starve to death while locked in a cat carrier.
Never again will they saw up a teenager and cook them in stew, feed them to the other children, then toss their bones in the swamp.
I'm taking down every last child abusing, child raping, child torturing, child murdering, cannibalistic, drug dealing, bastard among them....
...along with everyone who helped them, and everyone who thinks what they did was a good funny thing to make jokes and memes about.
And I don't stop with the bastards who tortured us children... I won't let anyone use what happened to us to make stupid ass sex memes or jokes online either.
If you ever once thought about making fun of the abuse we children went through, I will find out, I will hunt you down, and I will destroy your life.
I don't take shit from my own people so I also won't take shit from mindless, ingrate pieces of shit who try to be toxic bastards in my Twitch chat. If you want to talk to me, you better make damned sure you are worthy to even grace my presence at all...
The smartass little stunt ThingyChan pulled is the last fucking straw.
I can't think of anything more evil, more vile, than what ThingyChan did when she took the torture my uncles did to me and my cousins, rapists, murdered, and cannibals... they raised us like we were food!
You think that's funny!
You think something to make BDSM sex memes jokes about!
ThingyChan, you filthy piece of shit! You're as bad as they are!
Did you ever once stop and think about the shit we went through! They raised us as food, and sold our bodies to be raped by strangers while they waited for us to be tender enough to slaughter and cook!
We spent our entire childhoods, teen years, and young adult years in cages too small to fit in!
Did you know not one of us knew how to speak in human languages, but were fluent in cat and chicken, our ability to "speak" limited to hissing and clucking?
Did you know 140+ of us were classified as "feral children" and after being rescued during the FBI raid, spend more than a decade learning how to do basic things like using toilets, brushing teeth, eating with forks, and bathing?
And you think that kind of long term abuse and torture is fucking funny?
You think that's something to make jokes about!
How much did my aunt Barbie Jean pay you to make those memes? Yes, I saw her in your Discord and Twitch chat.... don't think I didn't. Along side of bastard Shem and Yvonne. You picked the wrong damned people to have your ha-ha's with... Barbie Jean, Shem, and Yvonne were front running in abusing us children, Shem is a fucking cannibal who butchered his own sisters and ate them. The FBI is actively hunting the 3 of them down right now, and your "cute little sex memes" and befriending them in your Discord, has branded you an accessory to their crimes.
Did you know Barbie Jean's husband Paul Martel went to prison for selling the bomb making parts to members of Isis, that killed dozens of people in the Boston Marathon?
Did you know Barbie Jean's son Scott Jurgen went to prison first for drug dealing at Scarborough Downs race track, and less then a year after being released, went back to prison for impersonating a police officer?
Did you know Shem Atwater and Yvonne Johnson are the founders of The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan - the single most violent branch of the KKK to ever exist?
Did you know that by having Barbie Jean, Shem, and Yevonne in your Discord and Twitch chat, you've branded yourself as a supporter of BOTH Isis AND the Ku Klux Klan?
You underhanded, two-faced, vile fucking piece of shit!
You were the first and only friend ever had in my entire life, and now I find out you were only pretending to be my friend so you could get inside information on what torture was like for your sick ass fucking BDSM torture fetish fan fiction about me!
How much did they pay you to fake being my friend for the entire of the 2 years you made those memes and spread them around the internet?
Oh and it keeps getting worse... in the weeks following the discovery of what ThingyChan was doing... more then 60 other Twitch streamers and viewers have now come forward to say, she did the same thing to them....
... she has been actively hunting down and seeking out victims of horrendous sexual child abuse, befriending them, while behind their backs making Twitch streams and posting Discord posts filled with sexual, BDSM, torture fetish lies about them.
... every one of the 60+ people who've contacted me between October 2019 and February 2020, describe Claudia as:
* "a mean spirited bully",
* "a self centered, bitch with no compassion, empathy, or concern for other people's feelings",
* "a sociopath who takes sick delight in the suffering and pain of others",
* "obsessed with sadism and bondage on horrifying levels"
More than 60 others have come forward to tell me horrifying nightmare stories of how they were sadistically and maliciously teased, bullied, belittled, and treated like shit by Claudia.
Every one of them tells nightmare stories of her vile obsession with their sex lives and building horribly slanderous lies about sexual fetishes that ThingyChan has been spreading about them.
Everyone of them said they used to be her subscribers and followers, one is even one of her chat mods... they all said they are too scared of her to dare confront her and ask her to stop harassing them. They said they felt harassed, bullied, and may to feel bad about themselves. Four of them said things she said to and about them, made them want to commit suicide.
All of them say they were made to feel very uncomfortable by her obsession with sex, bondage, panties, and torture devices, especially giving her habit of making lewd, off colour jokes about their sex lives.
Each of them said they unfollowed, unsubscribed, and stopped viewer her channel after she lashed out at them, making up wild sexually perverted jokes about them, in some cases "pairing them up" with other members of her chat as "sex partners".
37 of them said she had "paired them up" with me (EelKat), spreading lies about their sex lives, telling her viewers that they were among my sex partners!!!
More than a dozen of them said they felt "virtually raped" by her "endless lewd perverted sex jokes" about them.
Wow.
Just. wow.
Virtually raped.
That's exactly how I felt when I found out the sex lies she was spreading about me.
She is the worst type of online sexual predator. A person who's one goal is to run across the internet spreading fake news about other people's sex lives for the simple purpose of getting sick sadist glee in watching the relationships of couples being destroyed by her slanderous lies about their sex lives.
Virtual rape.
That is exactly what she is doing.
I thought I was the only one she was harassing, whom she had done this to and now I'm finding out she has a huge history of doing this.
She supposedly lives with her parents... my question is:
* do her parents know the type of sexually deviated shit she is doing online?
* does her mom or dad know they are paying the internet services for their daughter to be sexually harassing people online?
* would her mom and dad continue to let her live under their roof, if they knew their daughter was an online sex predator?
* and what is the contact information for her local government officials so I can report her for her predatory online sex offences?
ThingyChan is lucky she's not a citizen under my control, because the sex crimes she committed on her Twitch streams and Discord would have gotten her, her fingers cut off and tongue cut out.
I am deeply saddened that this sexually deviated, perverted little piece of shit isn't one of my subjects and is protected from punishment by a vile government that allows online sex offenders like her to walk free without punishment.
Twitch is a place for people to come together as a community, sharing experiences, hopes, dreams, and hobbies.
Twitch is NOT a place for sex offenders to congregate and hunt down victims to virtually rape.
Twitch is NOT a place where deviated sex predators should be allowed to roam free, sexually harassing others.
Twitch is NOT a place where cyberbullies belong, especially not sexual bullies.
#TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED....
...you can be damned sure that however you treated me, I AM going to treat you EXACTLY the same, tenfold, seventy times seven EXACTLY like Jesus told us to do in the Bible.
Be good to me and I'll be golden to you.
Treat me like shit and I'll be your fucking damned worst nightmare.
Claudia is not the first piece of shit to try to deceive me and pretend to be my friend with no true goal of friendship and only self-centered desire to get something for nothing.
The first 31 years of my life was spent sleeping in feces, starving, locked in a cage.
My first experience with Americans was to be plastered by paparazzi all over every newspaper as a feral child who survived "the worst child abuse case in American history".
My 2nd experience with Americans was for Stephen King's film crew to show up, trespassing, unannounced, to film not one, but 2 movies on my farm, without my permission.
Since then I went on to published 130 novels, 30 nonfiction books, 2,000+ short stories, and 10,000+ non-fiction articles.
I founded The Procter & Gamble Boycott going on to spend 27 years shutting down the animal test labs of not only P&G but also Avon, Estee Lauder, and dozens of others.
All of those things has resulted in people flocking to me as fans, pissing their pants to meet me and get my autograph, but never once becoming a friend... they already have friend who they run back to screaming they shook my hand.
I've never had a friend.
Never.
Not one.
Ben is the closest thing I've ever had to a friend, and do you know who he is? He's the damned fucking high priest. Yeah, the child raping bastard who bought me for $13,000 when I was 12 years old, then spent the next 20+ years buying my mother new cars, paying my dad's tax bills, spending tens of thousands of dollars every month for decades, for the EXCLUSIVE right to be the ONLY pedophile allowed to rape me. Yeah, the sadistic man who dictated my living conditions, all those years. And he's only with me still today, because he's scared shitless that he'll get life in prison if I ever turn him in, like I did the rest of the jackass bastards I grew up with.
Ben's not a friend... he's a terrified pedophile covering his ass. An elderly man, regretting his past and trying to buy his way into heaven.
I tolerate his presence, because in spite of everything he did throughout my childhood... he's the only person I can depend on to help me now that I'm crippled. And he only does that because he's got FBI agents on his back watching his every move.
He doesn't love me. He never has. No one ever has.
My parents, my uncles, they only loved the money they could get from having an 8 year old child with 38DDD breasts.
I had my first "miscarriage" at age 14 when one of my uncles decided it was bad for business for me to be pregnant, so tossed me in a shower stall, and kicked my belly until I passed out. I woke up 3 days later, still in the shower stall, the entire bathroom a bloodbath.
ALL 7 so-called "miscarriages" have been that way. Outright murder.
Ben was the father of every murdered baby and he not only doesn't give a shit, he goes so far as to say, none of the babies were his, goes into wild, violent meltdowns accusing me of being "unrighteous and unfaithful", so he doesn't have to care... but when I was 12, he bought the exclusive rights to me, and I've not been with anyone else since.
Ben's cold, callous uncaring about the deaths, murders of his own children, at the hands of my uncles, is the number 1 primary reason why I like Avallac'h...
Avallac'h loves babies and hates people who kill them. It's rare to find a man who wouldn't kill a baby, even their own. Real men hate babies. Avallac'h doesn't. Real men kill babies. Avallac'h kills baby killers.
A man who doesn't kill babies is among the rarest thing there is. Real men are evil. All they care about is sex. They don't care about your health. They don't care about your safety. They only care about their dicks. And babies are in the way. Men massacre babies without batting an eye.
Avallac'h's love for babies, alongside his fierce, violent protection of babies and their mothers, marks him as a rarity among men and a hero beyond any hero out there.
I was only one of the 140 nieces, my uncles regularly chained down, then jumped on their stomachs while they were pregnant. David was the worst. He was a 6'4" weight lighter, he'd tie the girls down, then beat their bellies with his 200lb weights.
That's the reality of child prostitution rings.
Go to my VOD list. Look for the VOD uploaded April 24, 2019, with the phrase "NSFW" in its title. The video includes footage of the sawed up bones, of 31 of those girls, being dug up on my farm.
Not everyone lived through their so-called "miscarriages". Nearly half died with their babies.
The FBI is still looking for more 200 girls between the ages of 4 and 12, who went missing in the 1970s and 1980s. I know where they are. August 16, 1991, uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, alongside grandpa David Henry Atwater drove a caravan to Canton Lake, Canton Maine... I spent that 7 hour drive, tied up, gaged, and locked in the trunk of one of the several dozen cars involved in that caravan.
They Heaven's Gate murders happened just 5 years later and is what caused the FBI raid that rescued me and 140 others.
But the FBI first showed up at the farm in 1987.
The FBI started hanging around a lot in 1990.
And then, August 16, 1991, the entire clan gathered, from all over Canada, New England, Utah, Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming... thousands of them, in the biggest "family reunion" the Scottish Gypsies ever held... on Canton Lake.
Those 200+ missing girls... are at the bottom of Canton Lake.
Lead by David Henry, Mervin Bruce, David, and Shem, the oldest of the grandchildren - men in their 30s and 40s - slit the throats of those girls, gutted them, sawed them up, boiled their meat off the bones, and then made a game, with the youngest children - boys all under the age of 12 - a contest to see who could throw bones the farthest, off a high cliff out into the lake... in what they referred to as a "Moose poaching camp"... a huge hunting camp that they usually used for processing poached moose. ... a moose processing camp, owned, run, and operated by Barbie Jean....
The Atwaters are monsters!
They knew the FBI was coming down on them, so they decided to hide the evidence of the child prostitution ring.... thus they spent the night processing the meat of those 200+ young girls, and then, loaded the steaks into the backs of the door-to-door steak trucks that you see all over Maine, and sold them as "deer meat steaks".
That's what happened to the 200+ girls that went missing, and didn't get rescued with the 140 others, during the FBI raid that shut down the biggest child prostitution ring in America.
You see the constant police and backhoes digging up my farm at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine - it's been going on since the first bodies were dug up by coyotes in 2016, ... if you're local, you've seen it, the hundreds of rusty oil barrels the FBI and police are digging up in my yard... the crowds of locals gathering around my farm, and police simply saying: "We are investigating cannibals" and giving no more details.
The oldest barrels they've excavated so far, date to the 1920s.... the bulk of them are from the 1950s to 1970s....
In those oil barrels are the bones of children. Little girls, 8, 9, 10, 12 years olds, who dared commit the sin of getting pregnant when white Americans paid $20,000 to rape them.
Americans like to spread all kinds of rumors about the group they call "The Scottish Mafia", but the reality of the so-called Scottish Mafia, is far worse then the stupid ass rumors.... a clan of cannibals, who raised little girls like they cattle, girls who spent their childhoods in cages, let out only long enough to be raped by American men willing to pay the highest prices, then slaughtered eaten as steaks when they turned 14 years old.... that's the REAL Scottish Mafia, a very big far cry from what you see portrayed as "Scottish Mafia" in TV and movies isn't it?
We females were seen as livestock.
Kept in cages, even puppy mills wouldn't dream of using.
Let out long enough to be raped by strangers.
Our rape babies beaten out of our bellies, on the orders of their fathers, who the uncles blackmailed more money out of. Pay money to beat the 8 year old child carrying your rape baby, ensure no one finds out what you do in your spare time.
Then slaughtered for food when you turn 14.
Your bones, sawed up, packed in oil barrels, and buried in the swamps.
They thought the swamps would rot the metal barrels, rot the bones.
They were wrong, weren't they?
The peat bog moss of the swamp preserved them. And now they are being dug up.
Go watch the VOD. See the bones being excavated out of my farm for yourself.
That is what I grew up with.
That is MY background.
That is MY experiances.
What are YOURS?
You say they are differant?
Are they?
My experiance is most Americans think their experiances are differant from each other, but in fact they are not, and not one of them comes even close to how different MY experiances are.
Daily being raped from the time I was 4 years old
When any of children got pregnant, our bellies were crushed.
And when we reached the age of 14, we were cut up into steaks and sold as fucking deer meat.
Have you noticed that in 2016, the door-to-door deer steak trucks all but vanished in Maine? Yeah. Now you know why. A lot of them are in prison now for selling human not deer steaks.
#If you have any information regarding this case, FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322
I'm one of the few who survived, because I had papers. When I was 12, a millionaire high priest from Austria, bought exclusive rights to me, and he also got me legal paperwork: American citizenship, a social security number, a birth certificate - things females in this clan were not allowed to have. Ben is the only reason I went on to become one of the few girls still alive today, and not sold as deer steaks when I turned 14.
A lot of people don't know WHY I got so damned mad at ThingyChan, when she took events from my childhood and made BDSM sex fetish memes about it... because unlike ThingyChan, a lot of people don't know the full details of what happened to me, what I saw happen to my cousins.
Half the time they weren't killed humanely... Anastasia... was only 4 years old, when on August 21, 1991, she had her leg pulled off her body.... the intestines came out with the bone .... her breakfast half digested spewed out all over the floor mingled with the blood... it took her 5 damned days to finally bleed to death. And they left her laying their, while the older male cousins, Shem leading them, kicked her, punched her, and raped her, over and over again.
#THEY FUCKING TORTURED HER TO DEATH!
Do you know what it feels like to have your head held down on a cement cinder block while a more traditional red brick is slammed into your face?
I do!
It was a common punishment.
I can even begin to count how many times my jaw was broken that way.
#Do you see now how incredibly VILE the sex joke memes ThingChan made about the torture I went through, is?
#HOW DISGUSTING THINGYCHAN IS FOR CALLING A 4 YEAR OLD BEING TIED DOWN, RAPED, AND JAW BROKEN WITH A BRICK, A BDSM SEX FETISH!!!!!
ThingyChan is a bad as the fucking men who did that to us!
How dare she call the torture we went through BDSM sex fetishes!
Over 300 little girls between the ages of 4 and 14 were MURDERED!
What kind of a sick bastard makes sex jokes about THAT?
#WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER!!!!!
There has never been a time in my life, when I wasn't suffering in pain from broken bones that never got set, ruptured organs that left me bleeding for weeks on end. Not once being allowed to go to the hospital.
My hip dysplasia was caused by having a 2 foot long foundation nail driven through my hip when I was 4 years old.
I've heard people say sex was good, fun, happy... I've never had sex that wasn't forced, wasn't rape, wasn't brutal, and didn't leave me without broken bones or torn muscles. Sex is the worse, most evil, most horrible, vile, pain riddin form of torture there is. I can't even image how anyone could enjoy being beaten, having their bones broken, strangled, stabbed with knives, forks, and broken glass plates... sex the most awful thing there is, I can not understand how anyone would want it.
The only good thing about sex is the babies that come from it, but all of mine were murdered before they could be born. I was never allowed to raise any of my babies, and I nearly died after every beaten that killed my babies.
The most recent one, they beat me with metal baseball bats and golf clubs, left me not only without my baby, but with my spine, hips, and knees broken, I'm crippled for the rest of my left and have spent the last 6 years relearning to walk.
No one has ever been kind to me.
No one has ever hugged me.
No one has ever kissed me.
No one has ever loved me.
There are only 2 things I've ever wanted: a baby and a friend.
America has laws, a woman my age can't adopt, you have to be under 45 in order to qualify for consideration to adopt a child in America; and the last beaten, left me unable to have children.
That leaves me with only one thing left to hope for in life: a friend, someone to talk to. I've never had that. Not once. More than half my life was spent locked in a cage, with no lights, no heat, total darkness, in a room with no windows, no nothing, just mold and fungus several inches thick on rotten walls, and a dirt ledge floor, bare ground, no floor boards. Alone for weeks on end, not knowing if or when I would ever see a person, if or when I would be given another burned saucepan to claw scrapings off of.
#When the FBI raid happened, I was
* 31 years old, 5'6" and weighed 87lbs.
* my bones and muscles were (and still are) brittle and falling apart from 2 decades of extreme malnutrition.
* I was nearly starved to death and the rescuers estimated I would have died with in the next few months had the raid not happened
* the room was filled with the bones of others who had died, been tossed in the room, their flesh eaten by the same rats that chewed on my arms and legs each night... they had all been beheaded, so no heads or skulls were ever found and the FBI continues to excavate the area and dredge local waters in search of the skulls, to this day
* It had been decades since I'd last eaten a meal, with as many as 2 weeks passing between being tossed a burned pan to scrap out.
* I couldn't see in daylight because I'd spent so many years in total darkness.
* And I didn't know how to speak human languages, was only able to speak cat and chicken, due to the only ones I had, had to talk to in that time, was the feral cats that snuck in through the cracks in the walls at night, and the chickens who were put in the room in the winter to protect them from the cold.
* I had no social skills, did not know how to communicate with others; was only able to communicate via writing;
* because the only physical touch I had ever had from anyone was being raped or being beaten... I had (and still have) a massive phobia of humans getting near me and am prone to massive meltdowns of total hysteria if someone gets within 5 feet of me
* I had (and still have) a massive phobia of forks, seeing them as weapons, not food utensils, due to have been stabbed, scarred, and tortured with sharped forks by my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, so many dozens of times
* I was 37 years old before I found out I was a human, and not a demon, like I had been raised to believe
* I got my driving permit at age 34 and got my driver's license at age 35
* I started school at age 35 and got my GED at age 37
* many of the children who did not reach adulthood and died in those horrendous conditions, killed themselves before reaching the age of 16... I was the only one rescued who not only reached adulthood, but was in my 30s at the time of the raid
* when the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me asked what kept me from killing myself like the bulk of the others had done... in those 27 years of hell, I held on to 2 memories: when I was 6 years old Grammy Eva had taken me to the Ice Capades, and when I was 7, in the weeks before Grammy Helen's death I had watched The Liberace Show with her every week.
* my 2 grammys - one who lived in Hawaii and wore Muumuu & kimono - the other who in her 80s drove a orange metal flake 3-wheel motorcycle and wore neon purple pantsuits; The Ice Capades, and The Liberace Show were my only memories of the outside world... bright, colourful, and happy... and are why I wear the bright coloured clothes I wear today
* I held onto the memories of my good, kind, loving, compassionate grammys, and that's the only thing that kept me alive, I thought that if I ever escaped, the outside world would be like them... but now that I've met the outside world, I know that my 2 grammys were flukes, and that I was locked up because I was a fluke like them, and humanity hates kindness, compassion, and goodness because the entirety of Humanity is EXACTLY like my uncles - cruel, evil, hateful, abusive, mean, incapable of love, compassionless, and not deserving of the life God gave them - In my years since the FBI, I've yet to met a single, solitary person, who was kind, good, compassionate, or loving
* the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me, all agreed that they did not believe I would ever be able to assimilate into HUMAN society, due to my extreme hatred for and fear of HUMANS, and my total 100% belief that I was not a HUMAN, caused by my mother's extreme paranoid schizophrenia, and her having locked me in a cage in that isolation room on my 8th birthday because she believed faeries had stolen her real daughter and replaced her with me, a demon changeling
* the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me, all agreed that I likely will never be able to feel any empathy for or towards HUMANS, due to 3 decades of being raised by violent mentally unstable humans who had severe untreated schizophrenia that they bounced off each other... with them glorifying the glories of them being HUMAN and us children being DEMONS unworthy of living in HUMAN presence
* the thing this group of 24 psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers found to be the single most disturbing fact of all, was that ...
#my 3 decades of neglect, abuse, and isolation was so extreme that I possess no sympathy, empathy, compassion, pity, or ability to identify with Humans - the only emotion I feel towards humans is loathsome hatred and the unnerving desire to kill them all
* they said my total lack of any good feelings towards humans, combined with my extreme desire to kill all humans, alongside my having been raised to believe I was not human, marked me as an anomaly that they didn't know how to properly diagnosed because nothing like my case had ever been encountered before and there was no diagnosis for it
* among things included in my diagnosis, was the phrase:
>>>"is a UFO suicide cult survivor"
and
>>>"was raised by radical fundamentalist extremists"
and
>>>"was raised to believe she was not human"
and
>>>"was raised to believe she was a demon"
and
>>>"in interviewing the adults who raised her, 52 of then maintain the belief that she is a demon channeling that they refer to as 'Her Grandmother's Evil Spirit'", "they claimed the real child ceased to exist after her grandmother's funeral", "they claimed that upon returning from the funeral, the real child was gone and this demon changeling was left in her place"
and
>>>"evidence suggests that her grandmother was murdered and she witnessed this event, resulting in the adults who murdered her grandmother creating the delusion that she was a demon, removing her from public school, and locking her in a cage in order to prevent her from telling anyone about the grandmother's murder"
and
>>>"they said they could not let her out of the cage because she refused to reveal where the faeries had taken the real child to"
and
>>>"they said they had no choice but to beat her daily because of her refusal to reveal the location of the real child she had replaced"
and
>>>"they likewise believe that both grandmothers were not human, cutting they too were demons"
and
>>>"they cited that the girl inherited 'Helen's evil spirit' upon Helen's death and 'Eva's evil spirit' upon Eva's death"
and
>>>"alarmingly every adult involved in her rearing displays severe schizophrenia, total belief in demons, and is fully convinced that this girl is a demon changeling; scarily their delusions fed on each other, giving rise to even more delusions"
and
>>>"was removed from public school at the age of 8 years old a few hours following her grandmother's funeral; an investigation was made by the superintendent of schools, but social workers never followed up on the girl's sudden disappearance from public eye. These horrific events may never have happened had The Maine State Department of Human Services taken those initial reports from the her teacher, principal, superintendent, school nurse, and the child's pediatrician, all of whom files individual reports regarding concerns for the girl's safety after witnessing several signs of abuse during the weeks prior to her disappearance"
and
>>>"reports were made to the Old Orchard Beach Police Department regarding the girl's disappearance from school. No follow up was done. It has been discovered that members of the family worked in the police department and destroyed the department's record of these reports made by concerned school officials"
and
>>>"has never experienced kind, good, or loving relationships"
and
>>>"since infancy has never been hugged, held, cuddled, or touched in a good way by other humans"
and
>>>"displays post traumatic stress disorder symptoms similar to WW2 concentration camp victims"
and
>>>"can not remember her name, answers to the names 'four eyed retard' and 'competition bitch' which appear to be the only names her mother called her since the age of 8 years old"
and
>>>"has never been taught to view humans as equals"
* in the weeks following the FBI raid, my mother and her 3 sisters and 8 brothers, were all diagnosed with schizophrenia...
* the 12 siblings, their 50+ spouses, and 400+ adult children who ran the child prostitution ring, were all diagnosed with sociopathy, 5 were diagnosed with megalomania, more the 3 dozen (including my mother) were diagnosed with Munchausen syndrome by proxy
* the group was classified as the most radical of the compounds that called themselves members of Heaven's Gate - 4 of it's leaders killed themselves in the infamous HaleBop murder/suicide that killed 39 people in California and was what led to the FBI raid a few weeks later
* the FBI raid would result in dozens of Catholic, Mormon, Pentecostal, Baptist, Born Again Holy Roller, New Life, and non-Denominational churches throughout southern Maine and the Greater Boston tri-state area being closed in the weeks/months that followed, in the mid-late 1990s, as hundreds of pedophile priests were arrested for having paid money (often $millions in church funds) to rape the young girls
* wild rumors began to surface, as horrified Americans dubbed the clan leaders involved in the Scottish Gypsy child prostitution ring as "The Scottish Mafia"
* while American movie producers had a field day stereotyping "Scottish Mafia" to mean anything and everything, we 140 survivors, had to fight claw and fang against paparazzi, alongside trying to even learn what the hell an American even was
* the worst of them, Stephen King arrived at the compound, with a huge movie crew and set out to filming a movie "The Thinner" based off what he referred to as "the Gypsies of Saco, Maine, the most REAL Gypsy style Gypsies I have ever encountered"... he and his crew were trespassers, had no permits or permissions, and today are in a legal battle against our clan trying to get the rights to release Thinner on DVD, something we absolutely refuse to sign off on - we are abhorred that he tried to capitalize on our decades of torture, pain, and suffering
* and all of the 140 others like myself, were also raised to believe they were locked in cages because they were demons
* as of 2020, more than half of the 140 survivors rescued from that FBI raid have commit suicide, due to the pressures of trying to BECOME A HUMAN and to date none have been able to see themselves as HUMANS or successfully assimilate in HUMAN society and most are still 100% convinced they are DEMONS and are unable to identify as HUMAN or live among HUMANS
* while I was 31 at the time of the FBI raid; the eldest of my brothers was only 7 years old - yes, I am old enough to be the grandmother of every one of my brothers; one of them, was so badly traumatised by the abuse he received, he does not talk still to this day
* given the fact that my mother has multi-hundreds of medical records that all list her as infertile and unable to have children, after MY 16 YEAR OLD MOTHER - a brutal "miscarriage" (caused by an overdose of sleeping pills, then having her head cracked open with a brick b an unknown attacker while she was unconscious) she had 4 years after I was born, combined with the dates of the births of my brothers vs the dates of the so-called "miscarriage" beatings, some of the psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers involved in the case, believe that chances are high that my brothers, may actually be my sons, stolen from me by my own mother, after being beaten unconscious by her brother Mervin Bruce.... this theory was further emphasized by the fact that one of my brothers is a blue eyed blond (everyone in the Atwater family has dark skin, black eyes, and black hair, due to being 3/4 Native American and 1/4 black African) and looks exactly like Ben (a blue eyed blond Austrian), the father of my babies
#and yes, my mother was a VERY SMALL CHILD when I was born - she and I are closer in age to each other then most sisters are, which is also why people often mistake us for twin sisters and have difficulty telling us apart
* my father was 39 when I was born, making the age difference between my parents one of the youngest in the clan and one of the few where the father was less than 30 years older then the mother... the biggest age difference between mother and father is 57 years
* at age 14 I hold the record of being the OLDEST female to get pregnant, and was nicknamed by the uncles "the old maid" due to my being "so very old" the first time getting pregnant
* I was 1 of only 2 females to reach the age of 14 with fewer than 4 pregnancies under my belt
* because only 4% of all babies reach the 3 years old, babies are not named until after their 3rd birthday and are given only bare necessity minimum contact (feeding time once every 4 hours and diaper changes twice a day), to avoid emotional attachments to them; this results in most of the parents and adults feeling no emotions at all then the 97% of babies born to the clan die - a rate of about 3 baby deaths per week
* feeding babies and diaper changes are the responsibility of the "non-Human, Demon slaves", some of whom are let out of their cages for the hour long baby feeding and diaper changing sessions
* mothers rarely, if ever, saw their babies - this made it easy to sell excess (male) babies for $20,000 each to infertial American couples through fly-by-night (not legal) "adoption clinics"
* male blue eyed blond newborn babies are highly sought after by infertial American couples and can sell for as high as $200,000; thus wealthy blue-eyed blond priests from Catholic, Mormon, Pentecostal, New Life, and Baptist churches were sought out with offers to pay money to rape little girls
* the child prostitution ring was in operation for 57 years, bringing in multiple millions of dollars per year to the so-called "motel owners of Old Orchard Beach" aka The Cyr Clan, who owned it, before the FBI raid shut most of it down in 1997
* while as of 2020 most of the Atwater Clan men involved with running & managing the child prostitution ring have been arrested, the actual owners of the child prostitution ring (The Cyr Clan) whom the Atwater Clan worked for, have yet to be arrested and are still at large
* I do not know the name of the man who owned it, he rarely showed up on the farm, but when he did show up, he ALWAYS drove a giant backhoe, with a German Shepherd Dog riding in the bucket/scoop; the man looked exactly like Bo Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard, appeared to be TRYING to look like Bo Duke; he wasn't very big; most of the Atwater uncles who ran the clan were over 6'2" the tallest being 6'7" and the man from the Cyr clan barely reached to their shoulders, so he was around 5'7" tall; he was also very skinny and was flighty and nervous acting and seemed to very paranoid, he was loud and demanding and yelled a lot; in spite of his tiny size, my giant brutal, spouse abusing, child torturing uncles were terrified of him, but I never knew why; he reminded me of a chihuahua - small, loud, barking constantly, but scared of his own shadow; he was in his 30s at the time and had taken over "the business" from his father; he'd be around 65 or 70 years old today in 2020; he always spoke of owning a hotel, and every autumn arrived at the farm to hire my uncles to saw the copper pipes off of "competitors' hotels" and to burn down other hotels; throughout the 1980s and into the 2000s, every single year, no fewer than 4 and as many as 20 hotels were stripped of copper pipes and/or burned to the ground by my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater for the Cyr Clan man, between October and December, in Old Orchard Beach, Maine - Mervin Bruce Atwater was arrested 2016 and Old Orchard Beach has not had a motel stipped of pipes or burned to the ground since;
* the child prostitution ring was able to operate for such a very long time for 2 reasons: ... 1: there is no limit to the extremes a wealthy infertial American couple will go through to get their hands on a blue-eyed blond male newborn baby.... 2: there is no shortage of wealthy blue-eyed blond American men willing to jump on the opportunity to rape a 10 year old girl and willing to pay tens of thousands to do so
* mothers who protested this, were declared "Demons" and put in cages with the rest of the "Demons"
* the "non-Human, Demon slaves" were let out of their cages once a week for 3 hours; every Sunday to go to church, where they received weekly exorcisms to try to cast out their "Demons" and turn them "back into Humans again"
* the girl with the most babies the youngest, had had 7 pregnancies, including 2 sets of twins, by the time she was 14, making her the mother of 9 by the time she reached her 14th birthday - today she holds the clan record of the mother with the most pregnancies to live, the most babies to reach the age of 3, and the most children to reach the age of 18... with a whopping 37 of her pregnancies not only being born alive, but reaching the age of 3, and then surviving to reach the age of 18; at the age of 40, she had 200 grandchildren and 37 great-grandchildren
* my mother suddenly and mysteriously "became infertile again" after the FBI raid and her freak unexplained popping out new babies days after each of my so-called "miscarriages" (each one caused by being beaten unconscious at around 8 months pregnant, and waking up with the baby gone, followed by my mother's miraculous "giving birth" to a slightly premature baby a few weeks later) suddenly ceased to happen
* I was 37 years old when a team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers set out to training me how to do things like walk on my feet instead of crawl on all 4s like a cat
* while today in 2020, I've trained my mind to accept the fact that Humans eat daily, and not once a week, the 27 years of eating what most would consider less than a snack, one day every week or 2, I am today not physically able to eat a daily meal because my digestive track is not big enough or strong enough to hold what ... a side effect of 27 years of extreme malnutrition and starvation
* the extreme starvation went on for so long, that even today 20 years after the FBI raid, I look like I am 9 months pregnant, because of my permanently distended "starvation" abdomen, a side effect of 27 years of scraping burnings off of sauce pans once every 12 days, and never once having a full meal in that 27 year period... I was still only 8 years old when the bloated starvation belly formed... because it is caused by extreme levels of starvation, no amount of dieting while remove the distended starvation belly, which can only be removed by reconstructive surgery of my entire digestive tract
* the distended starvation belly is the reason I never wear tight fitted clothes, can not wear pants or skirts, and can only wear big loose fitting caftans, muumuu, and kimono as "normal" clothes do not fit over my distended starvation belly, which is so big that even maternity pants don't stretch enough to fit
* I was also 37 years old when a team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers set out to teaching me how to speak in human languages instead of in chicken clucks and cat growls and hisses
* during attempting to teach me to speak, they made an alarming discovery: I spoke via chicken clucks and cat growls and hisses, not because I didn't know human languages or lacked understanding as they originally thought, but rather, because I'd been hit in the face with a brick so many times in my lifetime, that I couldn't open my jaw wide enough to form words
* x-rays and trips to a dentist, revealed massive damage to my jaw bones, cheek bones, sinus region bones, and teeth, from years of being baten in the face with a brick
* at 41 years of age I had reconstructive surgery of my jaw, including 7 root canals... meaning my jawbone and 21 of my teeth are porcelain - not real bone or teeth, resulting in I am now able to eat solid foods for the first time in my life and also am now able to talk normally (before the surgery, the damage to my jawbone was so bad that I was classified as "near-mute" due to an extreme inability to open my jaw enough to be able to form words.
* all of my molars (back teeth) were crumbled shards, with raw pulp exposed
* my jaw was broken and healed improperly, in so many places that doctors could not determine how many times I had suffered a broken jaw in my lifetime
* the broken teeth and jaw bones were a result of having my head held down on a cement cinder block, while a regular red brick was used to smash my jaw - this was a recurring punishment I received a few times a month, from the time I was 8 years old until I was 31 years old
* I stopped talking when I was 14 years old and was classified as mute for the next 16 years - I "refused" to talk, because the searing pain in my jaw was so bad that I could not open my mouth far enough to form words
* the reconstructive surgery at age 41, resulted in my being able to speak normally, for the first time in my life
* I was 42 years old when I found out the concept of things like friends and people talking to other people existed; and my desire to have a friend, someone I could talk to set in
* July 1, 2001 a backhoe with the mural of a big red apple painted on it's side, drove over my house, while me and my brothers were gone to the movie theater... my mom's brother Joey bragged on Facebook that he had hired the man to do it
* February 14, 2003 - I was stuck in traffic and arrived to my doctor's appointment 10 minutes late.... lucky for me, as I arrived in time to see the mushroom cloud as a bomb in my doctor's office blew up First Care Health Clinic on Saco Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, killing my doctor and 3 nurses, and leaving 21 patients in critical condition
* October 16, 2006 a bomb blew up my house and an 8 foot tall Ku Klux Klan cross was left behind in the rubal (keeping in mind, several members of the Atwater family are members of the KKK)
* April 2007, the same backhoe returned to drive over my house yet again
* May 15, 2010, my car, the 1964 Dodge 330, was cut in half by a group of radical members of a local church known as The Saco Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; my mother's church; her friend Joel Bailey went to prison 7 months later
* May 2013 Southern Maine Community College was evacuated when a bomb was found in the back corner of the classroom I was in
* July 2013, while driving home from my job at the Maine Mall, I was pulled off the road to wait, while police closed off the crossroad at my street.... the body of my cousin Murphy was laid out in the middle of the road, minus his head... the police found his head a few miles away at a different crossroad... he was one of the children abused and survivors rescued
* August 8, 2013 the infamous backhoe returned to drive over my house yet again and this now being the 5th house this backhoe had driven over shortly after rebuilding from the previous attack, I gave up rebuilding houses to live under a tent instead
* August 13, 2013, on my birthday, my mom's brother Joey posted on my FaceBook wall "paying that construction worker to demolish your house for your birthday was the best $600 I ever spent, Americans are such boobs, they'll do anything for money"
* November 14, 2013, while in a parking lot putting bags of art supplies in the back of my car 3 unknown people attacked me from behind with 2 metal baseball bats and a metal golf club. This was the first time since the FBI raid of 1997, that I had been pregnant again, and for nw the 7th time, had a "miscarriage" caused by a brutal beaten; but for the first time a beaten by stranger, not one of my uncles or my mother
* 2 of them were women who looked to be about 65 and acted like sisters or best friends, one with long curly orange red hair and cyberpunk looking neon lime green cyclops-style glasses and a off the shoulder sweater of large black and white stripes and screaming "I'm Kendra Silvermander, it's my turn to shine"; the other a blond wearing a denim button front work-shirt; the 3rd a bald man who acted like either the blond woman's son or lover, and had a football player muscle build
* the FBI is still trying to identify these 3 attackers; alarmingly they discovered that the username "Kendra Silvermander" appears on the friend lists of 7 of my mother's social network accounts, including Twitter, FaceBook, and Pinterest, and they now suspect that this mysterious Kendra Silvermander, the blond woman, and the bald man, are relatives of my mother's, most likely connected to her brother David
* the November 14, 2013 attack broke my spine, hips, and knees leaving me paralyzed for 5 months and 18 months to relearn to walk
* December 2013 through 2014 and into March 2015 Kendra Silvermander took over several of my accounts, most notably KBoards and Twitter... thinking I was dead, believing she had killed me, she hacked my online accounts, pretended to be me, and made fast work of re-writing 1,371 writing how to articles I had written for KBoards turning them into mindless sex crazed drival about Erotica - the genre she knew I did not write... and the bulk of the articles were changed to say simply "COCK, COKIT, COCK, COCK" over and over again thousands of times.... because I was paralyzed in the hospital, I had no idea this was happening online. Kendra Silvermander is the most evil person I have ever encountered. And it turns out, she was paid to do what she did... by my uncle David and Bruce, the same uncles who would later in 2018-2019-2020 pay ThingyChan to so a similar sex crazed take over of my accounts.
* I returned to work in 2015, but now with limited movement and requiring a cane
* November 2015 Scarborough WalMart evacuated when a bomb was found in the department I was stationed to work in
* March 2015 Barbie Jean's husband Paul Martel was arrested by the FBI on a Boston Mass beach for selling bombs, bomb marking parts, automatic rifles, and machine guns to members of Isis; his bombs were identified both as the bombs that were used in the Boston Marathon attacks AND the bombs in my house, doctors' office, college, and work places; branding my mom's sister Barbie Jean as the FBi's number 1 suspect in ALL of the attacks prior
* March 2015 Barbie Jean's son Scott was arrested at Scarborough Downs Race Track for selling prescription bottles stolen from the Southern Maine Medical Center (aka The Barbara Bush Foundation Children's Hospital aka the Biddeford Hospital)
* April 10, 2015 - 12 members of my family were kidnapped
* April 12, 2015 - 2 escaped and returned home, both with their jaws broken and nearly all of their teeth knocked out
* May 15, 2015, the heads of 2 of them were returned (8 more heads would be returned in the weeks following)
* May 15, 2015 Barbie Jean posted a message on my FaceBook wall which read: "the next head nailed to a dor will be yours"... she posted it 5 hours before I discovered the heads nailed to my door
* June 2016 Scarborough WalMart evacuated a second time when a bomb was found yet again in the department I was stationed to work in
* July 2016 - Kendra Silvermander, the blond woman, and the bald man, this time in a gold Volvo suv, once again attacked me in a parking lot - this time at WalMart while I was putting groceries in my car... they attacked me from behind yet again, this tie with a shopping cart, while the redhead woman screamed yet again "I'm Kendra Silvermander it's my time to shine", while the blond woman screamed "that's EelKat she tried to kill my husband"
* since the July 2016 attack I have been bedridden with inoperable damage to my spinal column and unable walk unaided with the help of others
* though I have let's played games online since 2004 (on Myspace until moving to YouTube in 2008) it was a hobby I did only an hour or 2 a week.
* because of my permanently crippled state for the rest of my life with no hope of ever walking normally again, I joined Twitch and set out to streaming 12 hours a day
... and then I met ThingyChan...
ThingyChan was the first time someone made an effort to be my friend, no strings attached, without some altaria selfish motive... or so I thought.
I didn't know until October 21, 2019, that she had spent 2 years pretending to be my friend, while behind my back spreading horrendous, sexually deviate, slanderous lies about me, claiming that my physical therapy to relearn to walk was what she termed "BDSM bondage fetish", in more than 200 multi-streams with someone named "Outsidelane" she made wild, lewd jokes referring to me as a "dominatrix", "bondage freak", and claiming I was into "foot fetishes".
On top of that, she took EVERYTHING that my vile, evil uncles did to me in my childhood, and started wild rumors that Avallac'h had done those things to Ciri AND said that I only liked him because he was what she called "a BDSM fetish freak dungeon master with torture devices and kept Ciri in cages while sexually abusing her".... something ANYONE WHO EVER READ THE NOVELS OR PLAYED THE GAMES KNOWS IS NOT TRUE!!!
But worst of all.... do you remember the "Deserve to be Raped" raids that happened in my Twitch Chat August 2018 and I had no clue who was sending these people to my channel - I only knew that they were coming from Discord and Reddit (or so Twitch Analytics said - but it didn't say WHICH Discord or WHICH subreddit)?
It turns out, that it was ThingyChan's Discord, where she built a massive fanfiction fantasy about me, spread across an astounding 2,000+ posts over a period of 2 years, telling people I was a "dominatrix" and spreading wild lies about what she termed my so-called "bondage freak fetishes".
:(
What Claudia did, HURT, a lot.
She pretended to be not only my best friend, but also my only friend, and the first friend, I've ever had in my entire life.... she pretended to be my friend the whole time she was doing that behind my back.
Her wild slanderous lies about me on he multi-streams, JackBox streams, and Discord posts, resulted in working 712 of her viewers into wild anti-erotica, anti-bdsm, anti-bondage, anti-Avallac'h, anti-EelKat frenzies, as their fundamentalist anti-sex Christian minds, believed every word of her lewd, perverted lies about me!
Me! Someone who is even more fundamentalist Christian, more anti-sex, then even they were!
But because they only knew me from Claudia's sex filled lies about me, they fully believed that I was the evil, sex crazed, deviant that ThingChan had told them I was!!!!
They likewise knew nothing about Avallac'h, having not read the novels or played the games, but fully believed him to be the "dungeon master with torture devices who kept Ciri locked in cages and sexually abused her" simply because Claudia told them that's what he was, while falsely claiming she had read the novels, when clearly the only thing she had read was the news reports about the abuse my uncles had done to me.
I am shocked and flabbergasted.
I can't understand why she did it.
She worked so many people into hate filled, rage fueled frenzies, that I had to turn my chat off....
.... and Claudia did that KNOWING that Twitch chat was my ONE AND ONLY connection to ANY ONE AT ALL now that I'm bedridden.
Claudia made a deliberate, malicious attack on my Twitch channel, clearly hoping I would leave Twitch. But I don't know why.
What Claudia did, HURT, a lot.
Especially considering SHE KNEW what had happened to me... she KNEW IN MORE DETAIL THAN ANYONE ELSE, because as soon as she found out about it, she questioned me up one side and down the other about every last detail, and I had no reason to not tell her, seeing I didn't know then that she was using it as research for the massive fanfiction BDSM fetish erotica mems she was creating about me behind my back.
I've never known a female who liked sex.
Men are obsessed with sex.
SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX...
Sex is the only thing men care about.
They stop thinking about sex only long enough to start thinking about money.
I'm stunned to find a female who has a sex crazed brain like a male. I seriously question if ThingyChan is ACTUALLY a female or is she one of those transgender people who just passes as a female?
I can't image there is an actual female, born with a vagina, who's brain is none stop SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX... the way ThingyChan's deviate slanderous lies about me on her Twitch streams and Discord were. There has to be a penis under her skirts for her to be that vile of an ingrate.
I thought I'd finally found a human being who wasn't a piece of shit.
I was wrong.
I'm tired of not one damned person ever wanting to ACTUALLY talk to me or ACTUALLY be my friend.
I'm sick of people who are looking for handouts.
I'm fed up with people looking to get their 15 minutes of fame.
I've had it.
I've survived hell that most people can't even stomach hearing about.
I REFUSE to be treated like shit, by a vile piece of trash like ThingyChan who thinks taking the pain and suffering of others is good thing to make fucking BDSM fetish memes about.
Claudia is 24 years old, sitting behind her computer screen, laughing, joking, making sex memes about the suffering of others...
Do where I was when I was 24 years old?
Locked in a cage that a chihuahua wouldn't even fit in. Nearly starved to death. Hips broken. Jaw broken. Pools of blood gushing from my rectum. The bloody, clotted remains of the six month old unborn baby that had just been beaten out of my belly covering the walls of the cage.
Where was YOU when YOU were 24 years old?
#HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TURN THAT INTO A BDSM SEX FETISH MEME, YOU VILE PERVERTED, FUCKED UP PIECE OF SHIT!
#ThingyChan, Outsidelane, Zutrix, Niv and the 712 bastards they sent to my channel have taught me that there is not one single, solitary person on the planet, who was kind, good, compassionate, or loving, and that, my uncles were not the flukes I thought they were, but rather the norm.... Humanity is evil.
#ThingyChan, Outsidelane, Zutrix, Niv and the 712 bastards they sent to my channel are just like my uncles... sadistic bastards who's only happiness in life is to hurt others and cause as much pain and suffering along the way, as they possibly can.
My whole life, after every blow, I've gotten back up and moved forward, fighting ever onward against all odds, because the hope for something better, the hope that somewhere out there, someone would love me, someone would want to spend time with me, someone would want to be my friend.
But it's been endless blow after blow for 60 straight years without a single break, not once, not even for a single week.
I'm too old, and my health is to poor, for me to keep getting back up and pushing forward any more.
I've nothing to look forward to in life, nothing left to hope for.
And I've no good or happy memories to look back on.
Not once.
Nothing.
Not one single day.
No one has ever loved me.
No has ever wanted me.
No one has ever been my friend.
There's no fight left in me.
I've no more will to even try.
I've reached a point, where I can no longer see a reason why I should even continue to live.
I don't have anything left to live for.
Right this game is the reason I have to live, and ThingyChan, Outsidelane, Zutrix, NivanRavenBum and their 712 friends, have made it so I barely want to do that anymore.
ThingyChan, Outsidelane, Zutrix, NivanRavenBum they pretended to be my friends just so they could get information, to use to make jokes and memes. They were not friends. They were just evil bastards doing what evil bastards do best: comit evil acts.
Playing this game, used to bring some level of joy, but now it's just constant dread...
Who's going to be pissed off today?
How many death threats are going to be sent to me this stream?
You have no idea how much it meant to me, that ThingyChan said she was my friend. Or how big of a blow her deceitful betrayal was.
She was the first and only friend I've ever had.
I thought I had finally found someone who cared, and she turned out to be just as evil as my uncles.
I tried turning chat back on October 7, 2019... and within minutes Zutrix arrived with death threats, brings others with them and chanting "Kill EelKat".... They did that for 3 days, and I turned chat back off again Oct 10.
I can't take it any more.
It's bad enough there is not one single person on this planet who loves me or cares about me, but the endless hundreds of people daily chanting they wish I was dead is too much.
You want to talk to me? You want to be my friend? Then fucking PROVE IT!
#STOP BEING A SELFISH FUCKING DICK!
ACTUALLY talk to me.
ACTUALLY be my friend.
Stop being a fucking jackass leech only hanging around because you want something from me.
#THAT IS WHY CHAT IS TURNED OFF.
...............................................
#UPDATED TO ANSWER VIEWER QUESTION: I just realized who you are. I remember the news reports. You're that poltergeist child aren't you? The one they called Etiole's Friend.
[Etiole](https://www.eelkat.com/AmphibiousAliens.html)
Yes.
Etiole's friend.
Etiole.
The one thing that team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers could not explain, nor could agree on.
The thing that scares everyone.
My ability to call up a being made of blinding white light and send him anywhere, to find anyone, and kill them.
To date more 370 people have been killed by Etiole since the FBI raid in 1997...
...40 have been killed since the kidnapping and murder of 10 members of my family on April 10, 2015.... including Dan Feeney's entire family.
Yep. EVERYONE in Dan Feeney's family is dead. All died the same day. Freak accident. House was hit by lightening. 9 times. Killed everyone inside.
Who was it again, that kidnapped 12 members of my family and nailed the heads of 10 of them to my door?
...let me think... oh yeah... it was Dan Feeney.
Funny how the man who killed everyone in my family, saw his entire family die from a freak lightning strike.
What goes around comes around.
Do unto me as you want me to do until you.
Oh yeah... you remember that district attorney who got Dan Feeney off on a technicality? His heart exploded. He's dead too.
Karma's a bitch.
Especially when you are dealing with a Voodoo Priestess that happens to have a Grigori archangel as her pet familiar that she can just send out whenever, wherever, after whoever, and has no issues with casting death spells.
The others in that 40, ALL died from heart attacks, brain aneurysms, and being hit by lightning.
Including a certain backhoe driver, who had a massive heart attack, quintuple bypass surgery, now has a pacemaker, and is not expected to live another 2 years.... oh my... look at that... the 7 year anniversary of April 10, 2015, is just exactly 2 years away. Would've thunk?
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
Oh... me thinks, they maybe should have done their research a little bit better and Googled me before they attacked me or my family... or better yet, they should have Googled Etiole.
An Avenging Angel. They are the bloodiest, most brutal, and least forgiving of any type of angel out their.
The Grigori Angels.
Seraphim who lost their wings, were cast onto Earth, and are called Alfar by some, Daemons by others, Faeries elsewhere... the Bible calls them The watchers... creatures who branded themselves the protectors of women and children, and when called upon, enact vengeance for wrongdoing.
Etiole showed up in my life September 23, 1978, and he answers my call every time since. Killing everyone whom has ever hurt me.
And every one of them, dies on the 7th anniversary of the crime they committed.
No one mourns David Henry Atwater, Richard Merlin Atwater, Mervin Bruce Atwater, or no one especially mourns Dan Feeney
My grandmothers, both Voodoo Priestesses, taught me how to call up archangels when I was just 3 years old.
And the angel who answered my screams for help, was Etiole.
The psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers, found themselves alarmed by the consistency of one thing found in every interview with all of the uncles, cousins, and my mother... more than 400 adults all swore they had seen with their own 2 eyes - Etiole.
They also all claimed he lived in a car: a 1964 Dodge 330.
Since 2007, 30,000+ psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, pseudo-scientists, MUFON members, conspiracy theorists, college students, and researchers have come to my farm, to see the car, study the swamp, and attempt to photograph Etiole.
No one has a definitive answer for what he is, though to date, more than 7,000 of them claim to have seen him.
Some call him an EBE.
Most call him an Amphibious Alien.
Others call him a White Reptilian Draconian
The Atwaters and Cyrs firmly believe he is a demon.
Most of the psychologists and psychologists call him a "true poltergeist: a physical manifestation of an abused child's psychokinetic energy that kills her abusers with a terrifying force"Etiole is the Jewish Archangel otherwise known as The Archangel Etreal an Avenging Angel, Protector of the Innocent. He appears in the Christian Bible in the story of Lot and is the Angel of Justice and Retribution who rained brimstone and fire on the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. He is one of The Grigori.
Known as The Grigori aka The Fallen Angels, The Alfar are the archangels who had their wings cut off and were cast out of heaven forced to live on earth with the humans.
To further punish The Alfar, Archangels Michael, Uriel, and Gabriel chained to the Alfar to millstones then forced them to watch while their human wives and Nephilim children were tortured to death.
The Alfar branded themselves the protectors of humans, especial pregnant women and children.
However, some Alfar fell astray even father, mutating themselves into Daemons, they became obsessed with resurrecting their dead wives and Nephilim children, and took to abducting pregnant women at night, using them in blood rituals under the command of their leader Beelzebub.
The Alfar divided into 2 factions:
* Dökkálfar aka The Dark Elves - black skinned Elves who rode on red dragons
* Ljósálfar aka The Light Elves - White skinned Elves who rode on white unicorns.
In Scandinavian folklore the Archangel Etreal is known also as The Fox aka Avallac'h.
Yeah, Etiole and Avallac'h are representations of the same person. Sheds some light on why I like Avallac'h so much, doesn't it?
I told you Avallac'h was a character from ancient folklore who was very important to me for more than 50 years.
...............................................
#UPDATED TO ANSWER VIEWER QUESTION: Wait. I'm looking at the dates here and the similarities of the events. Did Andrj Sapkowski base Ciri off of you and Avallac'h off of your uncles? Is that why you like Avallac'h so much?
Yes.
He did.
I contacted him and asked him. He said he was inspired by the news reports of the Gypies' baby breeding program and child prostitution ring that was all over the new in the late 1980s and throughout the 1990s.
The FBI raids started in 1987. Many of the fake adoption clinics were shut down in those early raids. There were 3 dozen more FBI raids across the country in Maine, Arizona, Nevada, Illinois, Colorado, Florida, Connecticut, Utah, Oregon, Vermont, and Wyoming throughout the 1990s and into the 2000's. Most of the 1990s raids focused on rescuing child prostitutes who were between the ages of 4 and 12 years old. In the mid-1990s more then 100 churches in Maine & Massachusetts were shut down by the FBI for holding young girls in their basements and selling 15 minutes of sex-time to the men of the congregations; and 3 times as many priests, mostly Catholics & Mormons, were arrested for their involvement in the sexual abuse of the children.
In total, from the first FBI raid in 1987, to the current FBI raids that continue to go on in 2020, more than 400 girls were rescued, nearly as many boys were rescued, 300+ priests have gone to prison, 14 compounds (breeding farms) have been shut down across the country, 6 of the worst clan leaders are dead, and a grand total of more then 4,000 wealthy pedophile American white men have been arrested for paying to rape and sexual abuse children.
Not all of the compounds have been shut down. There were more then 70 total run by the Atwater Clan and the Cyr Clan claimed to have double that, plus the operation is run by the Cyrs, not the Atwaters, and the Cyrs have other clans working for them besides the Atwaters. The Atwaters had at minimum 1 compound in each of all 50 states, as well as several more in Canada. In Utah they had one compound per country. In Maine there were 4 compounds at one point, all but 1 are not shut down.
Each compound has at minimum a dozen girls, the largest compound had 120 girls.
All the girls start being sold for sex at the age of 4 and most are outright sold into slavery before they reach the age of 14 (usually leaving the compound to live with their owner, but sometimes, like in my case, the man buys the girl and then pays a lease for her to continue to be housed on the compound - this is generally done by business men, priests, and married men who don't want their employees, church congregation, or families knowing they buy humans and keep them as slaves)
Girls are generally considered unsellable and past their prime once they reach the age of 16. If the girl turns 16 before a man buys her, chances are very high she will not live to see her 17th birthday.
Sadly, the slave trade industry (also called Human trafficking industry) in America is bigger today than it was during the Civil War error of the old South, with the FBI estimating that there are more than 40million slaves in the United States.... the Atwater clan's operation, being only one of the thousands of similar child sex slave businesses run in America.
And, the Atwater clan's child prostitution ring is considered to be one of the smallest of such businesses because they never had more then 500 girls in their care at any given time, total across the country in all compounds; whereas others are known to keep that many girls per compound.
Most of these child prostitution rings are owned, run, and operated by Americans, and because Americans like to pat themselves on the back while pushing their own shit under the rug, the child prostitution rings run by them, rarely make news headlines.
The only reason the one I grew up in made news headlines is because it was NOT run by Americans, but was rather run by Gypsies, and Americans had to plaster their hatred for all things not American on every TV screen and newspaper, to make sure you didn't see the shit they pulled as well....
,,,by that I mean, there were only 8 Gypsy men and 3 Gypsy women involved in running the child prostitution ring. Yep, just 11 people.
...and more then 4,000 American white men, mostly Catholic and Mormon priests, where arrested, while all 11 of the Gypsies running the operation WERE NOT ARRESTED.
Why?
Bureaucratic red tape vs rape kit DNA. It took so long to file the paperwork to press charges and get warrants, that the 11 Gypsies who ran the child prostitution ring, slipped through the cracks and fled the country to seek immunity in Australia.
And while red tape and paperwork filing time allowed the 11 Gypsies running the compound to escape.... rape kits and DNA testing allowed 4,000+ white American priests to be arrested and put in prison almost all the day week.
The news reports focused on 3 things:
* look, we told you all Gypsies are evil and
* look, we told you all Catholics are evil, and
* hey yay America aren't we the greatest for putting an end to this.
In spite of news reporters focusing on Catholic priests, only around 300 of the priests arrested were Catholic while over 3,000 of the priests arrested were Mormons.... the TV reporters decided it would be more sensational to just say all 4,000 of the priests were Catholic and completely ignore the fact that very few of the priests were Catholic.
Likewise, tv reporters branded ALL Gypsies as baby kidnappers... when in fact it was only one and only 11 Gypsies involved... and kidnapping was NOT even involved at all, as ALL of these children, were the children and grandchildren and great grandchildren of those 11 Gypsies.
The fact that more then 40million American children are still today in slavery situations in America, all of them in compounds owned by WHITE AMERICANS, and nearly twice as many American men are estimated to pay underground groups for sex with 5 year olds was completely ignored by the tv reporters and was never once mentioned by any of them at all.
The irony is that while it received way too much more media attention then it deserved
The tv reports blew the whole thing out of proportion, trying to lay all the blame on Gypsy cultures as a whole, when in fact, this one operation was very tiny, and the Gypsy men who started it, started it after taking a trip to Las Vegas and discovering that the largest industry in Las Vegas was not casinos, gambling, or strip clubs, but rather underground child prostitution rings.
The men who start the compounds did so on the logic of: "Well if Americans can make that much money selling their children for sex, we can do it too."
Child prostitution remains to this day the largest underground big business for white Americans... bringing in more money than drugs, guns, and more traditional adult prostitution combined.
Sadly, the news media narrow focused in on 11 Gypsies and blew the whole thing out of proportion, with very little accurate information being given to the general public.
I say sadly, because this has resulted in a huge boom in anti-Gypsy propaganda, when this sort of thing is not normally a part of Gypsy culture, and while the focus is fully on "look how bad Gypsies are", the tens of millions of children, still locked in cages owned by white Americans are being completely ignored because news media has to scream:
#"Praise America, hey look, go attack the non-white guy that's doing a little crime, so you don't see the bigger shit we white Americans are shoving behind Oz's curtain"
While it's great that most of the Gypsy run child prostitution rings are now shut down, the way the media blew things out of proportion, has caused hundreds completely innocent Gypsy families across the ENTIRE PLANET NOT JUST IN AMERICA, to see their children confiscated by social services for no reason at all other then: "you are Gypsy, you have 12 children, therefore you must be selling them for sex"...
...while tens of millions of child sex slaves continue to go on being tortured by their American owners, who are getting away with it because they has white skin and they are American, so therefor they can do no evil.
And people like ThingyChan, who make vile memes and jokes about these child sex slaves, making them out to be willing participants of the hell they live in by calling them BDSM dominatrixes, are exactly why more people DON'T do anything to help rescue these children.
Vile women like her who can make sick sex jokes about that kind of shit are what's wrong with society today.
Until people STOP acting like ThingyChan, and STOP making memes and jokes about this horrendous child porn industry, we are never going to see enough people rise up to stop child porn once and for all.
#I don't know who is more vile:
* the men who sell the children,
* the men who buy the children,
* or jackasses like ThingyChan who make fun of the children for the sake of getting views.
I am tired of people like ThingyChan who are drawn to other people's misfortune and think getting a laugh out of the pain and suffering of others is good fun.
Claudia is not the first sick ass, cold, heartless bully to do this, she's just the first one who pretended to be my friend while they did it....for 2 fucking years... laughing and joking with her friends Outsidelane, Zutrix, and Niv, while lying about me and telling them I was a dominatrix BDSM fetish freak! She took horrific sexual torture from my childhood and made filthy slanderous lies about my current sex life... and she did it on a daily basis for 2 damned fucking years, while pretending to be my friend the whole time and continually asking for more info about my childhood, I thought because she cared, and now I find out she was just gleaning for information she could use to make sex jokes and memes about, the fucking backstabbing bitch!
Be sure your sin will find you out. How long did she think she could hide what she was dong from me? Vile, disgusting backstabbing bitch from hell.
And she's so evil, she can't, won't, even apologize. That's how evil a bitch she is.
Can't apologize... that make her more vile, more evil, then a rapist and murderer combined.
Refuses to apologize. Well we all know what the Bible has to say about that. Her eternity in Hell will be greater then all the Hells of all the abusers, liars, rapists, and murders combined.
There is nothing Jesus hates more than someone who refuses to repeat of their sins and forgiveness.
Refusal to apologize. It's the worst sin of them all, according to Jesus.
Unapologetic. There is nothing more evil then that.
I am horrific that someone could be so cruel, so heartless, so cold, so unfeeling, so sadistic, that they would find the kind of hell I grew up with to be something they can make jokes about.
And then take that vile, evil, crue, cold hearted bastard and have them be so deviated, so twiisted, so sadistic, so mentally deranged, so sick in the head, that they seek out the person that was hurt, to pretend to befriend them, out of sick deviated pleasure to watch them be hurt even more by your own hands.
What kind of a psychopathic sociopath does something like that? Why would you do something like that? What the fuck is wrong with her?
I am so damned sick and tired of people taking vile, horrific events from my childhood and making fun of it like it was some fucking joke.
Tens of thousands of news reports about this supposedly "massive" Gypsy baby breeding/child prostitution (so called "Scottish Mafia Crime Family" as the media often call it) ring have been circulated around the world in the 3 decades since the FBI raids started, and Andrzej Sapkowski is not the first, nor will he be the last, person to take elements of my childhood and write a fictionalized version of it.
And while I'm known to be very vocal in my absolute total outrage against people capitalizing on the hellish abuse me and many other children lived through... Andrzej Sapkowski stands out as one of the rare few who I not only don't hate, but actually liked how he handled what he wrote.
Andrzej Sapkowski kept a lot of details of the real life events virtually unchanged. The bodies on the ravine for example. In real life there were 31 bodies The Goosefare Brooke Ravine, in The Reclaim Blueberry Plains, in The Ross Forest, of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, and in the novel Lady of the Lake he changed it to tens of thousands of bodies in the ravine.
Ciri was 12 when Avallac'h took over her life and started breeding her to other men.
I was 12 when Ben took over my life and bought exclusive rights to be my only breeder, not allowing other men access to me after that.
And then of course there's me, Etiole's friend, the poltergeist telekinetic and psychokinetic abilities that result in everyone being scared shitless of me and wanting to study me.
Verses Ciri the girl with telekinetic and psychokinetic abilities that result in everyone being scared shitless of me and wanting to study me.
The big, notable differences are primarily in the living conditions.
Avallac'h kept Ciri and the other girls in his care in a palace, made her Queen of Avalon, practically worshiped her while treating her like royalty. Avallac'h never hurt the girls and he killed anyone who did. He was very protective of them and took very good care of them.
In real life we "breeders" were locked in cages, went weeks between meals, slept in our own feces, many starved to death before they were 10 years old, others were beaten to death.
Avallac'h was fierce in his protection of babies. He was brutal with anyone who dared hurt a baby. Abhorred abortion.
In real life, the uncles who ran the clan, thought nothing of beating a pregnant child until her belly popped and the splattered remains of the baby burst out. They thought it was funny. They'd laugh and joke about it and call us "pinatas" and gamble money to see who would be the one to burst our pregnant bellies open first.
Avallac'h actually wanted a baby. His Lara Dorren wife died when she was 8 months pregnant with another man's baby and he promised to raise the child, but lost it. His mind fell apart and he became obsessed with babies. Ciri looked like Lara to the point that he refused to believe she was not Lara and demanded she get pregnant by another man, so he pick up where he left off, raising the family he had lost: Lara and her illegitimate baby. Avallac'h loved Lara and he loved the baby. He was devastated by their lost and was trying desperately to bring them back.
In real life, the uncles didn't give a shit about the children or rape babies of those children. We just dollar signs, easily expandable when we were no longer useful for bringing in more cash.
Avallac'h was every bit as kind and loving to the girls in his care as the uncles were brutal and cruel to the girls in their care.
Avallac'h wanted a family. The uncles wanted money.
Ciri and the other girls lived in the lap of luxury in Avallac'h's palace harem. We starved to death in cages and fought rats for scraps of rotted maggot filled food.
Avallac'h loved Ciri and the other girls in his care. He never hurt them and he fiercely protected them. The uncles justified the torture, abuse, and outright murder of the girls in their care by dehumanizing us, stripping us of dignity, and convincing themselves what they did was okay because we were "not human" but rather "just demons".
Yes, Avallac'h's being heavily influenced by the real world events from my childhood, is why I like him, because he's what the uncles SHOULD have been.
The thing I don't like is how Andre Sapkowski handled writing ciri, portraying her as a sex crazed trashy whore, constantly ripping off her panties, masterbating for the reader every 5 pages, and shoving her naked ass in the face of every man she meets.
He wrote 12 year old Ciri as a horndog, lustful, sex crazed slut who was ready to jump in bed with everyone because she just plain wanted sex every 5 minutes of the day.
In reality, we REAL 12 year old girls fought the men every step of the way, biting, kicking, clawing, and often castrating, the men ho were raping us. Not one of us 12 year old girls WANTED sex. Every chance we got we would grab hold of knives and hack and slash you way through the men, then run hoping to escape.
His writing Ciri as a sex crazed 12 year old loving every minute of being a child prostitute in Avallac'h's baby breeding program, was HUGELY inaccurate to how real world 12 year olds act in REAL world baby breeding programs.
We see 8 different scenes of 12 year old Ciri, angry and enraged because her breeder, King Auberon, refused to have sex with her and wanted to wait until she was older. In each scene we see 12 year old Ciri, smashing furniture, breaking mirrors, stomping her feet, throwing herself on the flooring holding her breath, and screaming at the top of her lungs "AUBERON WON'T GIVE ME AN ORGASM".
In the rape scene on page 179, we see 12 year old Ciri at her sex crazed worst, when she viciously attacks Avallac'h raping and then castrating him, while screaming "MAKE ME PREGNANT RIGHT NOW!"
Real world 12 year old girls DO NOT ACT LIKE THIS in these situations.
I can't identify with Ciri, even though she lives through many near identical events that I lived through (including the beheading torture of my best friends, which happened when I was 14, vs Mistle's beheading which happened when Ciri was 12), which should make me be able to identify with her, because I have first hand experience with being tortured in exactly the same way Leo and Vilgizfort's tortured Ciri... but Ciri does not have realistic, relatable responses to these events.
Unfortunately, because of how he portrayed Ciri in the sex scenes with King Auberon, and he nullified, numb reactions to Mistle's beheading, alongside her steady, constant, non-stop demands for sex.... I feel that Andrzej Sapkowski, wanted to be one of the American men with enough money to pay to rape us girls. That's how the Witcher novels read.
Andrzej Sapkowski's writing, glamorizes, glorifies, sexualizes, and turned into child porn Erotica, some of the worst cases of real world child abuse in American history.
It is clear that Andrzej Sapkowski is drooling with lust for Ciri's 12 year old vagina, with every line he writes of her furiously masterbating for King Auberon.
It is clear that if Andrzej Sapkowski had lived in America and had had $20,000 to spend, he would have been first in line to rape a 12 year old Gypsy girl....
...and because of that... the Witcher novels horrify me.
Yes, I like the Witcher novels, but I don't recommend them. Why? You need to remember one thing:
Not every priest involved in the child prostitution ring has been arrested.
You remember the high priest from Austria?
Yeah.
You see him in my streams, every week.
Ben.
The power of an apology.
You remember how I said ThingyChan was a worse piece of shit then my uncles were because SHE REFUSES TO APOLOGIZE for the crap she pulled?
Unlike the other priests, unlike my uncles, unlike the rest of the men... Ben was never arrested, nor will he be... because he said was sorry for what he did.
He apologized.
The power of an apology... that's what kept him out of prison, while 4,000 pedophile priests are now behind bars.
On top of that, Ben and I are now a couple and have been together for 32 years.
Officially, I am diagnosed with Stockholm Syndrome, because of my absolute refusal to turn Ben over, like I did the rest.
And he did buy me when I was 12, so technically, he stills owns me, and while my uncles were abusive, Ben wasn't. He's never hit me. I don't believe he would. He probably scare himself if he did.
Not many men are able to gain respect from their women. Too many men buy us because they just want sex and something to beat on when they get drunk. Ben's not like that. He's rather unique.
I'm quite lucky.
Not many women get bought by a man who is not abusive.
Compared to the other girls who grew up with what I did, I came to a fairly good end.
Most girls will get bought by a man who is going to beat them to death before they are 20 years old.
It' rare to see a female Gypsy over the age of 30 and that's why.
Unfortunatly, most men in Gypsy culture, see women as a type of livestock.
We get bought and sold all the time.
A lot of Gypsy women live in fear that the man who owns them, will get bored with them and sell them to a man even worse.
Others hope the man who owns them, will get bored with them and hopeful sell them to a man who is better.
A man like Avallac'h, one who doesn't beat his women, and treats them with kindness... most Gypsy women don't even dare dream of being owned by someone like that. Men like that are just so rare.
Yeah, I like the Witcher novels, because segments of them, the parts with Avallac'h, were based off of real world events from my childhood and I have Stockholm Syndrome.
I have an extreme obsession with shutting down, every last child prostitution ring in the clan, and hunting down every last man involved in it and putting them all in prison.
The last 30 years of my life have been fully 100% devoted to that goal.
And over the course of carrying out that goal, I started collecting every last bit of media about my childhood.
You see, I am utterly fascinated, with the fact that so many people are fascinated by my childhood.
And am left to wonder, why, when so many millions, upon millions, upon countless millions of people publicly, in newspapers, on TV news reports, in online forums, authors of novels, writers of movies... all CLAIM to to be horrified by my childhood, and many of them, hundreds of locals, all CLAIM, that any one of them would have come to our rescue... then why the hell, did not one of them, ever do so?
One of my brothers escaped, made it to a near by church, and begged the bishop for help, told the bishop what was happening... and Bishop Dan Kenning, took him back "home" and recommended to my parents and the uncles, that he be punish for "telling such a whopper"... oh he was punished alright... and he hasn't said a word in the 30 years since... yeah... my brother who doesn't talk.
In the 1980s we were let out once a week, for 3 hours to go to church. During that 8 year period, I reported what was happening to 16 bishops, 3 town managers, 32 town councilman, and 24 police officers, all of Old Orchard Beach, all of whom were members of that church. I even gave them the address 37 Smithwheel Rd as the location ... yeah IN FUCKING 1988!!!!!
#THINK ABOUT THAT!
37 Smithwheel Rd, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.... in 1988: 24 police officers, 16 bishops, 3 town managers, 32 town councilman, HAD ALL BEEN GIVEN REPORTS that children were being bought and sold
24 police officers KNEW about 37 Smithwheel Rd in damned fucking 1988!
#SHOVE THAT UP YOUR DAMNED NEWS REPORTS!
Hundreds of locals, INCLUDING ALL 24 OF THOSE POLICE OFFICERS, all CLAIM, that any one of them would have come to our rescue... HAD THEY KNOWN WHAT WAS HAPPENING.... and yet, I know of more then 40 different children, who during those 3 hour Sunday services outside of our cages DID MAKE REPORTS OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING....
I am so damned sick of bastards who what to look good in public, but don't give a shit about doing good deeds... THEY FUCKING KNEW what was happening, 40+ children, begged them for help, half those children were DEAD YEARS before help came.... they claim they would have helped us? Well then why the hell, did not one of them, ever do so?
They only said for news cameras, that they would have helped had they'd known, because they wanted to make themselves look good to others, they didn't give a shit about helping us.
They didn't care, they didn't even believe us.
And THAT'S why I like the Witcher novels.
Not for Geralt.
Not for Dandelion.
Not for Yennefer.
Not for Triss.
Not even for Ciri.
Just for 3 chapters. 32 pages. The 32 pages that were based off my childhood.
I am utterly fascinated, with the fact that so many people are fascinated by my childhood... and I collect EVERYTHING, that anyone writes about those events, be they news reports in the Boston Globe, or fiction in a Polish Fantasy fanzine magazine.
I can't stand Geralt or Dandelion.
Both of them are the type of men who'd be waving $20,000 in the air and fighting to be first in line to rape a 12 year old.
Geralt and Dandelion are vile, perverted men, who if they were real, would be in prison where men like them belong. I deeply dislike that so many millions of people glorify Geralt and Dandelion, because vile, perverted, pedophile, rapists should never be glorified.
It's terrifying to look at today's society, and the wild craze of Geralt and Dandelion fans who flock to these vile, sexually devated, immoral men who take sexual advantage of women.
I do like Yennefer and can see her as a hero. She's a strong woman who fought against some terrible odds that life dealt her, and she adopted Ciri, and raised her when no one else would.
Like Avallac'h, Yennefer was kind and gentle and loving to Ciri. I like Yennefer for the same reason I like Avallac'h.
Though I also think Yennefer is kind of stupid. Geralt uses and abuses her something fierce, He's mean to her all the time. He outright admits he doesn't give a shit about her feelings and is going to fuck every woman he sees wither she likes it or not. She can do better. She deserves better. But in spite of how big of a dick he is to her, she stands by him, her heart breaking, knowing he'll never love her, never care about her, and will quickly toss her out of bed the first sight of a brothel.
Triss. I loath. More than any other character. She's an absolute total whore. Deviated sex crazed bitch who's doesn't give a shit about Geralt, but hates Yennefer so will stop at nothing to shove her ass in Geralt's face as much as possible just to spite Yennefer. A piece of trash not worth the bullet it would take to shoot her and rid the world of her slutty ass.
Ciri.... I wanted to like Ciri. o much of her life was based off of real world events that happened to me in my childhood.... but, Ciri's slut assed whoness make Triss look like a sainted Vestal Virgin. And believe me... that is NOT how a real world 12 year old acts. Not even close.
Sadly Andrzej Sapkowski did what the bulk of people fascinated by my childhood do... fetishized it, sexualized horrific child abuse into child porn erotic sex fantasies.
It horrifies me that Andrzej Sapkowski had the opportunity to take these horrific real world events and show them through Ciri's eyes.... ad instead of showing the world how vile, evil, and horrible those events were, how traumatizing the real girls involved were by what happened to them.... instead, he showed Ciri as a female version of Dandelion, slobbering in sex crazed lust for every penis she saw. (I'm still wondering how readers call Ciri's penis lust crazed obsession "lesbianism").
:(
It saddens me to no end, to see Avallac'h tell Ciri she's to have sex with King Auberon, and Ciri's response is to light up in joyful glee and say "Oh boy! You mean I get to have sex with the Alder King?"
A REAL 12 year old is going to run screaming from that situation. Not sex crazed penis lusting 12 year old Ciri. She joyfully and giddily ran all yippie skippies to jump in bed with the King, only to be enraged when the King is horrified to find out she's still a child and refuses to have sex with her, in spite of Avallac'h's insistence that Ciri has perfectly ripe ovaries at 12 years old.
And, while Avallac'h is initially unfazed by the thought of 12 year old Ciri having sex with 400 year old King Auberon... he backs off, changes his mind and tells Ciri to spend a few years enjoying living with the Elves instead, have a baby later when you're an adult.... and that just enrages 12 year old Ciri who decides to brutally and violently rape Avallac'h while screaming: "MAKE ME PREGNANT RIGHT NOW!"
Yeah... how many 12 year old girls do you know who do that?
Like I said, I wanted to like Ciri.
Every other page of Ciri's life, is ripped right out of the news reports of my life, so you'd think I could identify with her.
The problem is, I know what it is like to be in those situations and I know how I felt, and my reactions to those exact same situations was completely the polar opposite of Ciri's reactions in those situations, making her reactions unbelievable and alien to me, resulting in simply can not identify with her.
I don't like the Witcher novels for the story.
I like them, for Avallac'h and Avallac'h alone.
There isn't anything else in the Witcher novels that I like.
The bulk of the Witcher novels are just endless immorality, prevention, and sex, and I don't like any of that.
I don't like anything in the Witcher novels that involves Geralt.
While I liked Geralt in the game... I absolutely loathe Geralt in the novels. He is vile on levels of vileness I don't even want anything to do with. After finding out how revolting, immoral, sexully deviated, and disgusting he was in the novels, I couldn't remove him from the game fast enough.
And you do have to remember, that I ONLY READ THE WITCHER NOVELS BECAUSE I WAS CONTACTED BY SOMEONE FAMILIAR WITH THE FBI CASE AND THEY ASKED ME TO READ THE NOVELS BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID SOMEONE INSIDE THE CASE HAD LEAKED INFORMATION TO THE PUBLIC.....
Yeah.... I was asked to read the Witcher novels to see if I thought Andrzej Sapkowski was one of the men who had been raping the little girls BECAUSE HE HAD SO MANY DETAILS RIGHT about the FBI investigation.
I do not like Fantasy novels.
I do not read Fantasy novels.
I only read the Witcher novels because information in the novels matched information in a murder investigation and they wanted to know if I thought he could have gotten his details THAT ACCURATE from just reading news reports or could he have been one of the men involved.
I never would have read the Witcher novels otherwise as they are not the types of books I normally read.
I did not go into reading the Witcher novels looking to have a fun time reading Fantasy.
I went into the Witcher novels with a fine tooth comb looking for the supposed connections it had to the murder trail I was involved in, because the question had been brought up.... do we need to contact this author and bring him into this court trail over the fact that he used so many details from the lives of these real people from a currently active murder investigation?
I went into reading the Witcher novels as research for writing up court documents, to see did he just read the news reports or was their info that he used that was not released to the public.
And no, everything he used in the novels, can be found in news reports, no evidence was found that he had any connection to the case outside of seeing news reports and being inspired to add those details to his novels.
And yes, that is how I got so obsessed with playing the game as well.
While I had played all 3 games previously, it was not until lawyers started suggesting many aspects were based off on news reports of my childhood, that I began replaying the game over and over, searching through every last inch of it to find out, just how far they dug into those news reports and how much did they use.
I don't understand why so many people have such a hard time believing it, but Avallac'h really is the ONLY thing I like about the Witcher novels.
Which I know is odd, given he's supposed to be partly based off the real world men who abused me, but like I said... he's so very different from the real world men he was based on: my uncles.
We real girls starved to death in cages, sleeping in feces. There were no lights. Total darkness in that room 24 hours a day for weeks on end, in total solitary confinement. And once the weekly outings to church stopped.... it was sometimes 6 months or more, between going outside of the cage, outside of that room (which, if you can stomach it... there are picture of, lower down on my profile... most people tell me they can't even look at the pictures of that room as it turns their stomach to see what I lived in for 27 years). The door to the room opened once every other week - to toss food scraps at me - a handful of food once every 12 days. No light. No one else in the room. Total solitary confinement. That was my punishment for asking the bishop for help one Sunday, the last Sunday I was ever allowed in church. I was starving to death, in pitch blackness, sleeping in feces, going month between hearing another person's voice.... that's the reality of that room, and what it was like to be a child in a child prostitution ring, who dared fight back and tried to escape to get help.
Ciri grew fat on pastries and slept in a bed covered with red silk and mink furs, with Avallac'h while he sang to her.... had our REAL WORLD experience in a child prostitution breeding program been like THAT, I doubt any of us would have tried to escape. Avallac'h and how he treated Ciri was a HUGE far cry from how real men running such a place treated the REAL child prostitutes.
Though we at 5 years old did get to wear sequin pageant dresses that outshine prom dresses, we only got to bath and wear those if a man paid to let us out of the cages to be raped by him. That was a mixture of excitement and dread... excited to finally get to wear clothes and look pretty, followed by the dread of why we were being dressed up like little 5 year old Barbie dolls.
Had we had someone like Avallac'h raising us. A kind, gentle, loving man who actually cared about and took good care of the girls in his care, our lives would have been very different.
We girls, we needed someone like Avallac'h. A man who didn't beat us, didn't starve us, didn't lock us in cages, didn't torture us. We didn't have the lap of luxury that Ciri had. We were unloved, unwanted, beaten, tortured, caged, abused, starved, our unborn babies murdered.
At 8 years old, we lived in total dread of giving birth to a female baby, because that meant having our stomachs crushed, our bones broken, to punish us for the sin of not giving birth to blue eyed blond boys that could be sold to wealthy Americans.
And had I grown up in different circumstances, I doubt I'd like the Witcher novels at all. Yeah... I like Avallac'h because he represents what our childhoods could have been. And that's the single, solitary, ONLY reason I like the Witcher series. Because I wish we'd been raised by a kind, gentle man like Avallac'h, a man who would not have killed our babies or starved us or beaten us or caged us. We needed a man like him who cared about us and didn't just see us as a means of making money.
And yeah, I do hate Ciri because she's an ungrateful bitch. There isn't a one of us girls who wouldn't have killed to be owned by a man like Avallac'h.
The men who owned us treated us like shit. Ciri is an ungrateful little bitch. She don't know how good she had it.
Most girls grow up dreading the man who will own them.
We get bought and sold by abusive bastards all the time.
Men don't care about the girls they buy. They care even less about us once we are adults.
Do you have any idea how rare it is to be bought by a man who is NOT going to treat you like shit. Who is NOT going to beat you?
It rare. It's very, very, very RARE.
Men are mean.
Men are cruel.
It is every girl's dream to be bought by a man WHO WILL NOT BEAT HER.
It is every girl's dream to be bought by a man WHO WILL NOT KILL HER BABIES.
It is every girl's dream to be bought by a man WHO WILL NOT PUT HER IN A CAGE.
Do you know what it is like to dream about being owned by someone who actually cares about you?
Avallac'h not only cared about her... he let her go outside!
Do you know how rare it is to be bought by a man who will let you go outside?
Ciri is a vile piece of shit. She had what every single girl dreams of having, and she destroyed it.
That's why I don't like Ciri. I'd kill to have the type of freedom she had. And she threw it away.
I think that's why I am in such awe over what ThingyChan did... it looks like, sees 24 years old, and no one seems to own her.
I don't know what the culture she is like is from, but it's bizarre to see a female run wild with sex talk like she does. Clearly she has no father, brother, male cousins, uncles, or a husband to beat her in the face with a brick and teach her some manners and decency.
I never trust wild women. I didn't realize she was one. Though that does explain quite a lot.
Her ill manners.
Her refusal to apologize for being a vile piece of shit and spreading all those slanderous BDSM fetish sex lies about me.
Clearly she is desperately in need of a man to take a brick to her head and put her in lie. No woman in Gypsy culture would dare talk about the vile, perverted BDSM sex talk she was saying about me, that's for sure. No man would let them talk like that.
I don't know... Americans like to talk about giving women more rights, but if ThingyChan is any example of what women are like when they don't have a man to keep them in line, I'm not sure I would want women having more rights.
She's hurting a lot of people, and if she does have a man who owns her, he's certainly not doing his job, that's for sure. A man who can't keep his women in check is just as bad as a man who abuses his women.
After seeing what she did, I think of ThingyChan as being like a wild rabid dog. A dog with a good owner, knows manners and respect and doesn't jump all over people who visit. A dog with a bad owner, runs and hide. While a dog with no owner runs around pissing on every corner and biting everyone. ThingyChan is like the dog with no owner, running around pissing on the corners of Discord and biting everyone she meets because she has no man to teach her otherwise, no firm hand to reign her in and make her behave. And, like any wild woman with no owner, she will continue to run wild, hurting people until a man steps into her life and teaches her some manners and dignity.
It's rather sad, really, when you stop and think about it... at 24 years old and no one has bought her yet? She's an old maid with no hope of ever being bought. Men don't pay good money for a 24 year old dried old prune. What viability does she have of giving birth to healthy babies at that age!
Perhaps that's why she's so mean? I've seen that before. Not getting picked. It's generally considered quite bad if you reach the age of 16 and no man's bought you yet. That's almost as bad as reaching 14 with anything fewer the 4 babies.
24 years old, no children, no man, unbought, unloved, unpicked, unwanted, 10 years past her prime. No wonder she's so mean.
I could almost feel sorry for her, if she hadn't launched a 2 year long attack on my reputation, maliciously spreading hateful, slanderous sex lies about me behind my back while pretending to be my best friend the entire time she did it.
>>>I think it came out well. My writing experience has been very different.
STILL think you're experiences are so vastly different from the norm?
NOW, what was it you said again?
>>>I think it came out well. My writing experience has been very different.
How?
You say it is different, but is it.
I can guarantee MINE is different. But are YOU, really so different than you think. You say nothing to support this, and I'm left to wonder, why you feel different, when chances are high you are not.
You might want to rethink how different your experiences are, because your talking to someone who has ACTUAL different experiences, and can PROVE it.
PROVE your experiences are different from the norm and that's you're not just a whinny, annoying, spoiled, teenaged brat.
>>>People don't even know my background.
Only because you didn't tell them your background.
But did you consider, that you also don't know THEIR backgrounds and YOU are in fact judging them, just as much as they judged you.
>>>People don't even know my background.
You know mine now.
It's in your hands now to tell me yours.
>>>But anything can be improved..
Yes it can.
Keep telling yourself that and you might just one day believe it enough to stop writing emails like this which prove you don't believe it to be true.
>>>I truly believed it was in a good state overall, from a story perspective. But now since time has passed and from the feedback I've gotten, I've ideas to make it better but that's only natural.
.
From what you've said others have said, it sounds like the story is NOT the problem, the grammar is the problem, and you are too dense, arrogant, and egomaniacal to actually LISTEN to what they are saying.
Just take their advice and fix the shitty ass illiterate grammar and your story will be publishable.
>>>Also, I got into writing pretty past, and wrote it fast, and submitted it. I never knew about a lot of stuff. It all hit me like a train. And honestly, I'm happy for it. I see so many people stuck in stuff and questioning that do they have to follow this rule or that... I was free of it all..
Have you ever seen someone hit by a train? I have. I think you might want to use a different example. You kind of make yourself look retarded when you say things like that, so again, it's no wonder a TOR editor called you illiterate. You kind of are.
>>> I see so many people stuck in stuff and questioning that do they have to follow this rule or that... I was free of it all..
You most certainly are. You can't write grammar worth shit and you'll never be published because of it. But you are free of rules, that's for sure, and you look like a retarded, self-righteous brat because of it, but you have fun with that.
The rest of us writers, we know rules exist for a reason and we will continue to publish dozens of novels and you will continue to roll around in your own grammarless filth, complaining that no one will publish you because you are too much of a genius to be understood.
Sooner or later you'll fall off that high horse and see yourself the way others do and you'll wonder why you wasted so much time being the village idiot.
>>>And maybe I've attained a bit of that curse now, but overall writing is free and that's how it should be..
You don't know what a curse is do you?
Have you really never read a dictionary?
It is so painfully obvious that you have no clue how to use words on even the most basic of levels, largely because there are so many words you don't know the meanings of.
You NEED an education, BADLY.
An uneducated mountain hillbillie from the Ozarks could write grammar better than you.
Stop sitting around bragging how great your art is and get an education.
There is a hell of a big difference between being a true artist, and being too lazy to learn even the basics.
>>>
.
| |
Ads by Amazon |
|