What Exactly is a Bestselling Book?

(With info on a common way authors scam readers)

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By Wendy C Allen
eelkat_red_scarf.jpgWendy Christine Allen, 2019, able to sit up in a chair for the first time in years, and able to raise up my arm and wiggle fingers. This was when I started playing Witcher 3 on Twitch as part of my physical therapy to regain finger movement. Playing Witcher 3 daily from 2016 to 2019, is how I regained the use of my thumb and two for fingers on my right hand... it is also why I stopped playing Witcher 3 in 2019, once I had strengthen my two forefingers enough to start typing again.

Wendy Christine Allen, Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author, Artist, Illustrator, & Art Car Designer

Counting Down to the September 23, 2028 50th Anniversary of my first published book (September 23, 1978)

If you are here looking for The Twighlight Manor series, The Crystonite Wars series, The Wild Years series, The White Rock Asylum for the Criminally Insane series, The Twisted Tales series, the Captured By a MerMan series, The Space Dock 13 series, The Kats of Planet Ptarmagin series, the stories about Miss Citten the Eel-Kat, or the stories about Etiole... ALL of those series were combined and consolidated into The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane Pink Necromancer series in 2014, so ALL the different series, are now under one series title.

List of the published titles still in print:

The Index of over three thousand stories in The Pink Necromancer series

What the series is about, for those new here:

The introduction to The Pink Necromancer Series. 

If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:

My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.

As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.

There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.

The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.

There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.

Health update: August 4, 2026 - in recovery for 6 months+ (at least until mid-January 2027...all book and video game releases are pushed back at least 6 months) see video below for why...
@eelkat

health update #maine #disabilityawareness #wheelchairlife #wheelchairvlogger #multiplesclerosis

♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
@eelkat Health update: #chickenpox #bellspalsy #RamsayHuntsyndrome #paralysis #recovery ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
@eelkat

I seem to have had another stroke (during the night while I was asleep?) #stroke #paralysis

♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

Update Sept 3, 2026:

I am able to get around enough to take Koko to dog park... today is 29 days since getting out of hospital. My diet is still mostly liquid, but im eating some solid food again, but its like rice or soft mushy baby food type stuff because I still can not chew yet, though I can swallow again. My jaw is still not functioning good so im having trouble talking still. So there's been slight improvement to my mouth, throat, and jaw, but, zero improvement to my eye, which is a major concern, be Im almost fully blind right now. im legally blind since birth in my left eye, so I have no ability to fall back on using my left eye. My right eye is the one injured and my vision in it is "40% decreased" according to my doctor, but it wasn't good vision to begin with, and right now my right eye is not much different from my legally blind left eye. Which I why I have to have someone drive my car for me instead of me driving my car myself right now, which is very frustrating, because, being a female, I had to fight for over twenty years to be allowed to drive. I started sneaking out at age 31 and dressing as a man to go to Old Orchard Beach high school to get a ged, because us females are not allowed to go to school. And i was 37 years old when snuck out to the DMV and got a driver's permit and started going to college. I was 42 and 8 months pregnant when my family found out I was going to college and thats when I was punished by the backhoe driving over my house and my spine broken with a golf club and my baby born right then and killed with same golf club. So it's very frustrating now, so soon after finally being able to drive , to now not be able to drive because of an eye injury, especially after 14 years of being paralyzed from the golf club and not being allowed to have a wheelchair, again, because i am female and we females are simply not allowed to do anything. I hate the culture I was born into. I wish I had the freedom to go to school and drive a car the way American women do. I wish having my spine broken with a golf club and my baby killed with a golf club and a backhoe driven over my house was not how men in my family punishment women in my family for learning to read and write. Its so frustrating not being able to to drive again, so soon after 14 years being paralyzed, and being paralyzed by the golf club was the punishment for getting a driver's license back in 2013 after 30 years of men not letting me have one. I hate my family's culture and how they treat us women.

I get so sick of Americans telling me how they wish they could be a Gypsy… they are either misogynist woman hating pigs, or delusional idiots who haven't got a clue how shittily we Gypsy women are treated by Gypsy men, because no one in their righ mind who knows anything about Gypsy culture would ever want to be part of it. I hate that I was born a Gypsy. 

update sept 7, 2026

"You would not make a good teacher"... what does that mean, and why are there so many people on Railroad Ave and Western Ave and Cutts St why walk up to me and say that to me?

I find it very confusing. I have low functioning Autism (the Rain Man type) and so i have very little understanding of words beyond the basic ones, and i never went to to school, so I never learned maths or sciences, and I only had remedial classes at Southern Maine Community College, because I did not have an education to enroll with regular, I was there taking every reading and writing class they had to learn how to read and write, and also took speaking classes to learn how to talk (i spoke Shetland Scottish language because that was language my grandmother spoke but she died when I was 8 so I only knew that language to speak and write, and I was 37 when I went to college and 42 when I learned English speaking and I still cant speak English good yet), all the other classes I took were art painting and cooking.

So the phrase "You would not make a good teacher" makes no sense to me because it seems to imply that I am trying to be a teacher, but I don't have anything close to the education ti be a teacher, and im not trying to be a teacher. So I don't know why people keep saying this phrase to me and I assume it must have some sort of a slang meaning, but I can't figure out what it could be of why do these people keep saying it to me.

see video below for more information: 


@eelkat "You would not make a good teacher"... what does that mean, and why are there so many people on Railroad Ave and Western Ave and Cutts St why walk up to me and say that to me? I find it very confusing. I have low functioning Autism (the Rain Man type) and so i have very little understanding of words beyond the basic ones, and i never went to to school, so I never learned maths or sciences, and I only had remedial classes at Southern Maine Community College, because I did not have an education to enroll with regular, I was there taking every reading and writing class they had to learn how to read and write, and also took speaking classes to learn how to talk (i spoke Shetland Scottish language because that was language my grandmother spoke but she died when I was 8 so I only knew that language to speak and write, and I was 37 when I went to college and 42 when I learned English speaking and I still cant speak English good yet), all the other classes I took were art painting and cooking. So the phrase "You would not make a good teacher" makes no sense to me because it seems to imply that I am trying to be a teacher, but I don't have anything close to the education ti be a teacher, and im not trying to be a teacher. So I don't know why people keep saying this phrase to me and I assume it must have some sort of a slang meaning, but I can't figure out what it could be of why do these people keep saying it to me. #mainelife #biddefordmaine #maine #disabilitytiktok #Biddeford ♬ original sound Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

update Sept 15, 2026:

I have some slight movement in some my fingers again again after over a decade being paralyzed

you remember how I used to be a professional doll making, pattern designer, and embroiderer, back before I became paralized and before my son was murdered and being the backhoe drove over my house?

all my equipment, sewing machines, ect were all destroyed by the backhoe driving over my house, and I have been quardepelegic for over a decade because of it so could not use my hands to sew or draw or embroider, and so only continued to do my writing of novels since then because I could do that with dragon dictation software,

well, since 2016, I been playing Witcher 3 and don't starve video games on twitch livestream, one hand two fingers, as part of my therapy to regain nerve and muscle use of my fingers, and now after 10 years of that, I have somewhat more movement in my fingers and im thinking maybe I can try to do embroidery and doll making again, but not sure, anyways, now im rebuying all of my sewing and embroidery equipment that the backhoe destroyed when it drove over my house, and hopefully I can use my hand enough to embroider again.

waiting for stuff to arrive in mail, so soon I should find out if ten years of twitch gaming has given me enough muscle strength to use my fingers to embroider again.

update to the previous video, answering viewer question about lack of hospital vs broken spine

Wheelchair Fundraiser... I need to upgrade to a power wheelchair, the manual one just isn't enough anymore. But the power wheelchair is $25k. Yes, twenty five thousand dollars. Wtf? I can get a car for a quarter that price, why are wheelchairs so damned expensive? That's more money then I make in five years, so I need to start a fundraiser for it.

How hard is it to make it into top 100 paid Kindle books?

How hard is it to make it into top 100 paid Kindle books? from writing

How hard is it to make it into top 100 paid Kindle books?


>>Has anyone done it? What did you do? What was your process/approach? Or was it simply luck?

Top 100 in ALL of Amazon or Top 100 in a Genre Category? Because it's different for each.

I've never been anything close to the Top 100 of all of Amazon, but I have more than a dozen books that have reached #1 of the Top 100 in their categories at one time or another.

Here's the secret: sell 1 more book then however many books book #2 sold.

It's that simple.

A lot depends on your genre category. Amazon has more than 2,000 genre categories, which means there are 200,000 books listed as "Top 100" books....minimum.

If you are writing one of the very popular genres, like Paranormal Romance or Murder Mystery, your chances of getting even close to the top 100 is slim at best. This is because you are competing against big house publishers, like Harlequin Books ho can sell tens of thousands of copies a week. The popular genres are VERY difficult to get into the Top 100 lists of.

On the other hand, if you are writing a very obscure genre, like "Unicorn Erotica" or "Dino Porn", you'll probably be in the Top 10, let alone the Top 100, without even selling a single copy.... this is because if you look at those Top 100 lists, you'll notice 5, 10, maybe 15 titles at the most on the list. The list doesn't even have 100 books listed, because there are not 100 books published within that genre. Obscure genres have only a few titles, fewer then 100 titles published total in the genre, means if you publish in that genre, you are 100% GUARANTEED to be in the Top 100 list for that category, as soon as you publish the book, before you even make a sale.

I write in obscure genres, thus why so many of my books rank in the Top 10, but they do so mostly n categories, that have fewer than 50 books on the list to begin with.

In mid range genres, not popular, but not obscure, like "Transgender Romance" and "Vampire Yaoi" you can get in the Top 100 easily with only a few sales, because even though there are a lot of books published, not many books are sold. For example, one of my novels sat at #1 spot in "Transgender Romance" for a full year, after it sold 14 copies one week, then didn't sell another single copy again for the rest of the year.

My book had the little "bestseller" tag slapped on it's title for that entire year, which is very deceptive, because in the mind of the average Amazon browser, it implies that my book had sold millions of copies... when in fact, my book only ever sold 14 copies total!

Which means that ALL of the other 99 titles on that Top 100 list, each had sold fewer than 13 titles IN THEIR LIFETIME! And that NO book, in the category of "Transgender Romance" had EVER in the history of Amazon, sold a grand total of 15 copies in its lifetime!!!

That was a fact that I found rather disturbing, as it opened my eyes to how incredibly deceptive the term "Amazon Bestseller" really was.

In the end, it varies depending on the genre in question, some are easy to get on, some a nearly impossible to get on, most are achievable with minimal work, some require a bit more work but are still reachable.


From an email I received:

"What exactly is a bestselling book or a bestselling author? I am just wondering. On twitter and everywhere I go I see 'bestselling' authors and books claiming to be #1 on Amazon - books I never heard of and couldn't even find on Amazon. How are these authors claiming to be #1 and bestseller?

Suppose I have three books. This month one book sold 1 copy, one sold 3 copies and the other sold 5 copies. The book that sold 5 copies is surely my personal bestseller, but does that make me a bestseller? So should I go around bragging that I have a bestseller?

Who regulates this stuff. Is there like an award or something or can anybody just claim to have a bestseller? I want to say I am a bestselling author but I'm not sure if I qualify or not."


(UPDATE: This answer was written in 2013)

This is a very good question and I am glad you asked it because, I would never have thought to write an article about it. It's not something I ever really think of, but yes I too have seen these so called "bestselling authors" and their phony "bestselling books" all over the internet of late. I especially see them bombarding the various writer's forums with spam posts saying "Buy my bestselling novel ____".

I always look at those posts and go "Really? If it's such a best seller than why are you so desperately spamming the threads begging people to buy it?"

Bestsellers, bestselling books, and bestselling authors are incredibly rare. I don't know what Amazon "officially" calls a bestseller, but it seems that anyone whose book ranks top 10 in it's keyword search results on Amazon's book search page, feels they are justified in claiming to have a bestselling book. Industry standard is a book does not get called a bestselling book until it reaches 100,000 sales.

The average Harlequin author earns $24,000 per year,  writes 3 to 4 novels a year and writes 20 to 80 novels in the life of their writing career, usually at least one of which becomes a bestselling book. The novels are never longer than 120,000 words (281 pages) because Harlequin doesn't publish anything longer than that, as market research tells them that people looking to read romance and erotica want a book they can read in a single weekend and will not even consider buying, let alone reading a book of 300 or more pages. Each of these books sells for a cover price of $4.99 to $7.99 for print editions and $2.99 to $5.99 for e-editions.

Harlequin, like other big house publishers, puts books out in this manner:

Book released Month 1

Book sales goal is 25,000 books by Month 3

If book sales by Month 3 are under 25,000 the books goes out of print and is considered a flop.

If book sales are higher than 25,000 book stays in print for 3 more months

If after 6 months book sales have not reached 50,000 book goes out of print

If after 6 months book sells more than 50,000 author is approached with an extended contract - for more books, and this book goes out of print.

If at any point before the 6 months is over the book sells 100,000 copies, it goes out of print long enough for a new edition to be released, and a new 7 year contract to be signed. The book is now rereleased with the words "bestseller" slapped on it's title and remains in print for another 7 years.

Likewise Harlequin is on the high range of the sell price, with the other publishers of romance and erotic novels selling ebooks in the .99c to $2.99 range, and not even bothering to go to print until after the e-book sells 50,000 copies (Harlequin is the ONLY romance/erotica publisher who still brings out print editions before e-editions, and no one, not even Harlequin still does hardcover editions). Harlequin puts out 14 (or more) new titles a week, that's 728 titles a year, each title selling no fewer than 25,000 copies and in total Harlequin averages more than 2,000,000 books sold EACH YEAR.

 
I use Harlequin as an example because they publish all of this info online for anyone to access, and because I am personally more familiar with this company than most, but I could easily have given you the stats for other publishers I have worked with such as Avon or Ellora's Cave.

Anyways, you are asking about numbers, and I know a lot of folks who self publish think they are doing great if they are selling 100 to 1,000 books a year, but that there is the difference between the average self-published book and the average trad published book.

If a trad published book doesn't sell 25,000 copies within the first 3 months of sales the publisher pulls it out of print, calling it a lost cause and the publisher won't even look at another manuscript from that author.

A wimpy 25,000 sales in 3 months is so low and dismal that publishers kick authors out for it, yet many self-publishers are leaping for joy if they break past 1,000 sales the first year.

It is in comparing these types of sales figures that you see the stark reality of what continues to push writers to trad publish: volume of sales.

I think when you see self-published authors on Twitter calling their books a bestseller, they are typically referring to Amazon's "bestseller for it's genre/category/keyword", and all  it takes to get into that is to be the one book that sells the most copies in it's genre that day.

In other words, if every book in the horror category sells just 1 copy today, but your book sells 2 instead, than for today at least, Amazon is going to call your book "a bestseller", because it was the bestselling book in the horror section today.

It's one thing to say you are a bestseller in an Amazon category, which means you sold anything over 1 copy more than the next guy, for one day, and could mean that if your book sold 5 copies in 1 year, but sold all 5 of those copies 1 day when everyone else that day sold 1 copy, Amazon would still call you a best seller even if your book sold 5 copies total in 3 years while the book that was #9 the same day went on to sell 10,000 copies a week later.  Can you see the issue here why it's misleading when an author tells you they had the bestselling book in "___ category on Amazon on ___ day"?

There is a huge difference between saying "My book was the bestselling book in the horror section of Amazon on May 1, 2012" and saying "My book is on the bestselling books list!". If you say your book is on the bestselling book list, than it sure as hell better be otherwise you risk getting your ass sued by The New York Times, who happens to own the Official Bestsellers List.

If you really want to know if your book is a bestseller: read The New York Time's bestseller list, because they are the ones (not Amazon, your publisher, your mom, your best friend, or anyone else) who say if your book is a bestseller or not. Their criteria is the book must sell 100,000 copies within the first 6 months of publication, in order to make it on their list.

It is so incredibly rare for a book to sell 100,000 in it LIFETIME that Oprah will consider your book for a review if it sells 100,000 copies EVER, but for a book to sell 100,000 copies in fewer than 6 months, is so outstandingly rare that it only happens a few dozen times a year.

More than 50,000 new titles are released each year and of them only about 24 of them are going to sell 100,000 copies fast enough for NYT to say "Look at this, THIS is what a bestselling book looks like!"

So, yeah, are the others on Twitter actually bestsellers or not? Well, the NYT list is always available on their website, it's posted at the front desk of every library and every bookstore check out counter, so next time you see an author on Twitter saying "I'm a bestseller" jot down their name, then head on over to NYT and see if their name is on the NYT's list or not.  If they are on the list, then yes they are in fact a bona fide bestseller. If they are not on the list than they are not an OFFICIAL AUTHENTIC worldwide bestseller and are only a bestseller   on Amazon's category list.

Most readers see the words bestseller, bestselling book, or bestselling author and assume you are on the NYT list and many readers are known to look up that list, find you not on it, than retaliate by giving you a 1 star review while warning other readers that you are a lying fraud who pretends to be a bestseller when you are not on the NYT list. So you have to take this into consideration.

Ask yourself, is calling yourself a bestseller when you are not on the OFFICIAL bestseller list posted by New York Times worth the eventual and inevitable loss of reader trust you will gain once they discover you lied to them?

Don't think  you'll get caught?

Remember the NYT bestseller John Locke who made a million dollars on Amazon in 2010? Look up his formerly 5 star reviews on Amazon now that it's known it was nothing but a hoax - one of his books has over 500 1-star reviews all calling him a "lying fraud" who pretended to be a bestseller when he wasn't.

And guess who ratted him out? New York Times, that's who! And not just for "bestseller fraud" but also for 5-star review fraud. Turns out John Locke pais a review writing company to write 5,000 5-star reviews, all of which where computer generated and posted on Amazon via 5,000 fake Amazon accounts. The 5,000 books supposedly sold, were in fact sold just to the one person who owned the review company and being e-books were not resold to readers. Where did Locke get the money to pull off this huge elaborate scam? He one huge amounts of money on a reality TV show and use the winnings to fund this huge "bestselling author" hoax.

In January 2013 NYT ran a huge article on John Locke and a whole list of about 50 other authors who were falsely printing "NYT Bestselling author" on the covers of their books as a marketing scam to gain sales. John Locke is lucky he didn't get 25 years in prison and only had to pay a few million in fines to NYT for infringing on their copyrighted use of the words "NYT Bestseller" and trademarked use of the phrase "bestselling author".

Oddly, by calling him out, NYT inadvertently gave him large amounts of free advertising and one of his books did get on the NYT's list later on. Weird how things work out.

I think all of us authors should let NYT's attack on John Locke be a lesson in not being so loose in calling ourselves bestsellers. Do you think NYT is going to stop with just the 50 authors they outed already? I don't. I think this is just the beginning of NYT's squashing the trend of author's claiming to be bestsellers all willy nilly. I think we are going to see a lot more of NYTs cracking down on the over use of "bestseller".

Me? I've been self pubbing since 1978 and none of my books have reached 10,000 sales yet, so I don't consider myself a bestseller. I'm a good seller maybe, but a bestseller? No. So I'm not going to try to deceive my readers by calling myself something I'm not, just to make more sales. I can't speak for other authors. I don't know what criteria they use for calling themselves bestsellers. I only know that I ain't got millions of dollars to pay NYTs trademark infringement fines with, so I ain't willing to risk it.


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While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.



Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂

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Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻
eelkat_red_scarf.jpg

Wheelchair Fundraiser

@eelkat

i just found out there is yet another bizarre rumour going around. where are these wild rumours coming from? who is starting them? and why?

♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
@eelkat

since I've been flooded with hundreds of messages the past two weeks asking if I still own "the world's most haunted car", yes, and here it is, filmed today May 18, 2026… but my son Xavier is dead, i am crippled and given that people are AGAIN showing up calling my Dodge "haunted", calling my friend "an alien", calling me "transgender", and spreading wild defamation slander connecting me to Stephen King, I think I need to start taking down the contact information of every blogger, podcaster, youtuber, and social media account spreading these rumors, and sue every single one of them for CAUSING my car to be cut in half May 10, 2010, for CAUSING the backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013, for CAUSING my son's murder November 14, 2013, for CAUSING me to be crippled and in a wheelchair November 14, 2013, and for CONTINUING to CAUSE harassers to show up in person to harass me near daily, STILL now in 2026. EVERYONE telling you my car is haunted, telling you my friend is an alien, calling my car "the goldeneagle", calling my friend "Etiole", or trying to connect me or my car to Stephen King, is lying to you. They crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, and a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet identified the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club and the FBI believes that it is friends and family of the woman who did it, are the ones who started and spread the rumors saying my car is haunted, saying I'm an alien abductee, saying all kinds of similar bs about aliens, ufos, ghosts, witchcraft, demons, and Stephen King connections, even though I don't believe in ghosts, aliens, ufos, demons, and had never heard of Stephen King before 30k of his fans showed up in my yard trying to find my car! FBI believes the backhoe driver and the murderer are the same person and it is a developer who wanted my land and so started the Stephen King, ghost, and alien rumors all in an attempt to drive me off my land, and when it didn't work they drove a backhoe over my house, and when that didn't work they crippled me and killed my son. Why are they doing this? How do I get them to stop?

♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author






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Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....

... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.

While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.

eelkats_house_before_after.jpgMy house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since.

The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground

On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.

She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.

The attack also triggered labour.

My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.

Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.

The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.

The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.

Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.

Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.

Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.

Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.

The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

Clairescreenshot.pngIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

zzzz999ClaireRed2016-screenshotIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

Kendrascreenshot.pngIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.

Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.

Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.

Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.

In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.

Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.

But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.

I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.

Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.

Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.

I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.

My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.

Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.

Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

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