Looking to connect with me on social media? Links to all my official accounts can be found here:

<<<<---  If it is not on that list, it is not me. 

Please note that since 2013, there have shown up several FAKE "EelKat" accounts, often using photos stolen from my website. Those accounts are run by a stalker who also goes by the names Kendra Silvermander & Tom Addams. They are wanted by the FBI, so if you run across one of these fake accounts pretending to be me, please report it to FBI Agent in charge of the case: Andy Drewer.

What Exactly is a Bestselling Book?

(With info on a common way authors scam readers)

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"What exactly is a bestselling book or a bestselling author? I am just wondering. On twitter and everywhere I go I see 'bestselling' authors and books claiming to be #1 on Amazon - books I never heard of and couldn't even find on Amazon. How are these authors claiming to be #1 and bestseller?

Suppose I have three books. This month one book sold 1 copy, one sold 3 copies and the other sold 5 copies. The book that sold 5 copies is surely my personal bestseller, but does that make me a bestseller? So should I go around bragging that I have a bestseller?

Who regulates this stuff. Is there like an award or something or can anybody just claim to have a bestseller? I want to say I am a bestselling author but I'm not sure if I qualify or not."

This is a very good question and I am glad you asked it because, I would never have thought to write an article about it. It's not something I ever really think of, but yes I too have seen these so called "bestselling authors" and their phony "bestselling books" all over the internet of late. I especially see them bombarding the various writer's forums with spam posts saying "Buy my bestselling novel ____".

I always look at those posts and go "Really? If it's such a best seller than why are you so desperately spamming the threads begging people to buy it?"

Bestsellers, bestselling books, and bestselling authors are incredibly rare. I don't know what Amazon "officially" calls a bestseller, but it seems that anyone whose book ranks top 10 in it's keyword search results on Amazon's book search page, feels they are justified in claiming to have a bestselling book. Industry standard is a book does not get called a bestselling book until it reaches 100,000 sales.

The average Harlequin author earns $24,000 per year,  writes 3 to 4 novels a year and writes 20 to 80 novels in the life of their writing career, usually at least one of which becomes a bestselling book. The novels are never longer than 120,000 words (281 pages) because Harlequin doesn't publish anything longer than that, as market research tells them that people looking to read romance and erotica want a book they can read in a single weekend and will not even consider buying, let alone reading a book of 300 or more pages. Each of these books sells for a cover price of $4.99 to $7.99 for print editions and $2.99 to $5.99 for e-editions.

Harlequin, like other big house publishers, puts books out in this manner:

Book released Month 1

Book sales goal is 25,000 books by Month 3

If book sales by Month 3 are under 25,000 the books goes out of print and is considered a flop.

If book sales are higher than 25,000 book stays in print for 3 more months

If after 6 months book sales have not reached 50,000 book goes out of print

If after 6 months book sells more than 50,000 author is approached with an extended contract - for more books, and this book goes out of print.

If at any point before the 6 months is over the book sells 100,000 copies, it goes out of print long enough for a new edition to be released, and a new 7 year contract to be signed. The book is now rereleased with the words "bestseller" slapped on it's title and remains in print for another 7 years.

Likewise Harlequin is on the high range of the sell price, with the other publishers of romance and erotic novels selling ebooks in the .99c to $2.99 range, and not even bothering to go to print until after the e-book sells 50,000 copies (Harlequin is the ONLY romance/erotica publisher who still brings out print editions before e-editions, and no one, not even Harlequin still does hardcover editions). Harlequin puts out 14 (or more) new titles a week, that's 728 titles a year, each title selling no fewer than 25,000 copies and in total Harlequin averages more than 2,000,000 books sold EACH YEAR.

 
I use Harlequin as an example because they publish all of this info online for anyone to access, and because I am personally more familiar with this company than most, but I could easily have given you the stats for other publishers I have worked with such as Avon or Ellora's Cave.

Anyways, you are asking about numbers, and I know a lot of folks who self publish think they are doing great if they are selling 100 to 1,000 books a year, but that there is the difference between the average self-published book and the average trad published book.

If a trad published book doesn't sell 25,000 copies within the first 3 months of sales the publisher pulls it out of print, calling it a lost cause and the publisher won't even look at another manuscript from that author.

A wimpy 25,000 sales in 3 months is so low and dismal that publishers kick authors out for it, yet many self-publishers are leaping for joy if they break past 1,000 sales the first year.

It is in comparing these types of sales figures that you see the stark reality of what continues to push writers to trad publish: volume of sales.

I think when you see self-published authors on Twitter calling their books a bestseller, they are typically referring to Amazon's "bestseller for it's genre/category/keyword", and all  it takes to get into that is to be the one book that sells the most copies in it's genre that day.

In other words, if every book in the horror category sells just 1 copy today, but your book sells 2 instead, than for today at least, Amazon is going to call your book "a bestseller", because it was the bestselling book in the horror section today.

It's one thing to say you are a bestseller in an Amazon category, which means you sold anything over 1 copy more than the next guy, for one day, and could mean that if your book sold 5 copies in 1 year, but sold all 5 of those copies 1 day when everyone else that day sold 1 copy, Amazon would still call you a best seller even if your book sold 5 copies total in 3 years while the book that was #9 the same day went on to sell 10,000 copies a week later.  Can you see the issue here why it's misleading when an author tells you they had the bestselling book in "___ category on Amazon on ___ day"?

There is a huge difference between saying "My book was the bestselling book in the horror section of Amazon on May 1, 2012" and saying "My book is on the bestselling books list!". If you say your book is on the bestselling book list, than it sure as hell better be otherwise you risk getting your ass sued by The New York Times, who happens to own the Official Bestsellers List.

If you really want to know if your book is a bestseller: read The New York Time's bestseller list, because they are the ones (not Amazon, your publisher, your mom, your best friend, or anyone else) who say if your book is a bestseller or not. Their criteria is the book must sell 100,000 copies within the first 6 months of publication, in order to make it on their list.

It is so incredibly rare for a book to sell 100,000 in it LIFETIME that Oprah will consider your book for a review if it sells 100,000 copies EVER, but for a book to sell 100,000 copies in fewer than 6 months, is so outstandingly rare that it only happens a few dozen times a year.

More than 50,000 new titles are released each year and of them only about 24 of them are going to sell 100,000 copies fast enough for NYT to say "Look at this, THIS is what a bestselling book looks like!"

So, yeah, are the others on Twitter actually bestsellers or not? Well, the NYT list is always available on their website, it's posted at the front desk of every library and every bookstore check out counter, so next time you see an author on Twitter saying "I'm a bestseller" jot down their name, then head on over to NYT and see if their name is on the NYT's list or not.  If they are on the list, then yes they are in fact a bona fide bestseller. If they are not on the list than they are not an OFFICIAL AUTHENTIC worldwide bestseller and are only a bestseller   on Amazon's category list.

Most readers see the words bestseller, bestselling book, or bestselling author and assume you are on the NYT list and many readers are known to look up that list, find you not on it, than retaliate by giving you a 1 star review while warning other readers that you are a lying fraud who pretends to be a bestseller when you are not on the NYT list. So you have to take this into consideration.

Ask yourself, is calling yourself a bestseller when you are not on the OFFICIAL bestseller list posted by New York Times worth the eventual and inevitable loss of reader trust you will gain once they discover you lied to them?

Don't think  you'll get caught?

Remember the NYT bestseller John Locke who made a million dollars on Amazon in 2010? Look up his formerly 5 star reviews on Amazon now that it's known it was nothing but a hoax - one of his books has over 500 1-star reviews all calling him a "lying fraud" who pretended to be a bestseller when he wasn't.

And guess who ratted him out? New York Times, that's who! And not just for "bestseller fraud" but also for 5-star review fraud. Turns out John Locke pais a review writing company to write 5,000 5-star reviews, all of which where computer generated and posted on Amazon via 5,000 fake Amazon accounts. The 5,000 books supposedly sold, were in fact sold just to the one person who owned the review company and being e-books were not resold to readers. Where did Locke get the money to pull off this huge elaborate scam? He one huge amounts of money on a reality TV show and use the winnings to fund this huge "bestselling author" hoax.

In January 2013 NYT ran a huge article on John Locke and a whole list of about 50 other authors who were falsely printing "NYT Bestselling author" on the covers of their books as a marketing scam to gain sales. John Locke is lucky he didn't get 25 years in prison and only had to pay a few million in fines to NYT for infringing on their copyrighted use of the words "NYT Bestseller" and trademarked use of the phrase "bestselling author".

Oddly, by calling him out, NYT inadvertently gave him large amounts of free advertising and one of his books did get on the NYT's list later on. Weird how things work out.

I think all of us authors should let NYT's attack on John Locke be a lesson in not being so loose in calling ourselves bestsellers. Do you think NYT is going to stop with just the 50 authors they outed already? I don't. I think this is just the beginning of NYT's squashing the trend of author's claiming to be bestsellers all willy nilly. I think we are going to see a lot more of NYTs cracking down on the over use of "bestseller".

Me? I've been self pubbing since 1978 and none of my books have reached 10,000 sales yet, so I don't consider myself a bestseller. I'm a good seller maybe, but a bestseller? No. So I'm not going to try to deceive my readers by calling myself something I'm not, just to make more sales. I can't speak for other authors. I don't know what criteria they use for calling themselves bestsellers. I only know that I ain't got millions of dollars to pay NYTs trademark infringement fines with, so I ain't willing to risk it.


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The Top 202 Most Visited Pages of 2017

Seeing how on October 15, 2017, we reached 10,000 pages, I thought it'd be fun to update the Top 100 List and see where were were now.

Top 202 Most Viewed Pages Of 2017 So Far
(Out of 10,000 pages)

(January 2017 to October 2017)
(Excluding the Home PageAbout Page, and Site Map Page, which were the top 3)

  1. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  2. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  3. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  4. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  5. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  6. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach | The Site That Makes Fun of Terrorist Hate Crimes
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  13. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  14. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is Quaraun?
  15. Introduction To The Quaraun Series: aka Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach
  16. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  17. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: Writing Clinical Insanity Accurately | What is wrong with Quaraun? 
  18. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  19. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  20. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  21. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  22. The FBI In Old Orchard Beach, Maine Trying To Capture A Domestic Terrorist
  23. One Gypsy's Review of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  26. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  27. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  28. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  29. How long does it take to hit 1667 words?
  30. How to Write A Kiss
  31. Phookas
  32. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is GhoulSpawn?
  33. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  34. Daily Writing Prompts (June 2017 Archive)
  35. My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  36. Why Are The Quaraun Books Rated M18+
  37. How to Write Hot Sex - Tips For Erotic Romance Authors
  38. The Zaharam-Chapelle-Parunas Ethnographical World Building Questionnaire
  39. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  40. What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?)
  41. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  42. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  43. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  44. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  45. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  46. How can your books have gay transvestite characters and not be Erotica? or Why are gay haters beating up elderly woman for wearing pink for breast cancer awareness and saying she's a transexual because only transexuals wear pink?
  47. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo Featuring The 13 Step Method To Writing
  48. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  49. Maine UFO Sightings
  50. Page 11 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - The Scottish Traveller Crime Family
  51. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  52. KBoards, The NaNoWriMo ML Rumor & The Vindictive Stalker
  53. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  54. Captured By The Lich Lord | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  55. How To Build A Magic System
  56. I've everything but a kitchen sink. Wait, how'd that sink get in my pocket?
  57. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies & The Ku Klux Klan of Old Orchard Beach
  58. Autistic Characters In Fiction
  59. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  60. Manuscript Reading Services or Will You Read My Book and Tell Me What You Think?
  61. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  62. Wizards vs Witches vs Sorcerers: How are they different? | Writing Fantasy Books
  63. FRED: Google's Most Deadly Update Ever?
  64. How To Write A Novel: Question Everything Before Putting It In Your World
  65. Content writing: How long do you spend creating a quality blog post?
  66. SBI: To Review or Not to Review? That Is The Question
  67. Twerking Dragons: The Joys Of Writing A Novel With A Voice Recorder
  68. A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest | Summoner of Darkness
  69. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, or Intersex: What Is Quaraun?
  70. Sheep | GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  71. Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
  72. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  73. Keywords & Pigeons: How I Do Local Business Marketing
  74. Quaraun & Autism In Fantasy Novels
  75. The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall
  76. Tom Addams & The Warrior's Forum
  77. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  78. An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  79. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  80. Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)
  81. A Motorhome named 'No Hurry' becomes Rosebud & The Story of Ten Kidnapped Cats
  82. Create Original Content aka I Hate Jackass Gutter Scum Thieves
  83. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Going North To Head South
  84. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  85. Aspergers is NOT Autism
  86. Is The Quaraun Series Erotica? - No! Here's why...
  87. Summoner of Darkness: GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  88. The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  89. The Lich's True Form Revealed | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  90. Using work you already started for national novel writing month?
  91. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  92. Books in Vacationland 2017
  93. BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  94. Lets Playing Is No Longer Fun
  95. Santa's Floating Dead Body | A Scene From The Summoner of Darkness
  96. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  97. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 2 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  98. What vlogging equipment is needed to get started as a YouTube vlogger?
  99. April 2015 Update: Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach: The Kidnapped Cats
  100. Betta Fish Aesthetic on Pinterest
  101. Domain Name Branding: Should You Put Your Brand Name In Your URL?
  102. Life As A YouTuber: How To Earn An Income From Making Videos
  103. Making YouTube Videos: How did you decide what content to make?
  104. Page 4 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  105. Twighilight Not Twilight
  106. YouTube Index
  107. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  108. Are You A Satan Worshiper?
  109. Average Typing Speed
  110. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  111. Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing Literary Fiction Used In Epic Fantasy Novels
  112. Google Flagged Your Site! What To Do? (Help For Web Masters)
  113. How valuable is a writer’s group?
  114. Lives Destroyed: Amphibious Aliens 10th Anniversary Update
  115. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Santa's Letter To Satan
  116. Summoner of Darkness: Quaraun Meets The Gremlin
  117. The Terrorists of Old Orchard Beach Put My Dad In a Coma
  118. Using Yahoo Answers to promote your book and author website.
  119. What Is This Site?
  120. You Stole My Idea - I was writing a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
  121. City of The Slushies | Chapter 1 | Quaraun The Insane
  122. Creative Writing Story Prompts: September 2017 Edition
  123. Dungeons and Dragons: The Joys Of Calculating Gold Weight In AD&D 2ed
  124. Fabric Designed By EelKat
  125. My Fave YouTubers Play: Dream Daddy - The Yaoi Dad Dating Sim Otome Game
  126. Necromancy: How will resurrection affect society as a whole?
  127. Page 7 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  128. Pink Flowers Aesthetic on Pinterest
  129. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 12 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  130. What will a traveler encounter on the roads in your world?
  131. Are you insane? Am I? Let's Find Out...
  132. Becoming A Better Writer: How to write interesting dialogue.
  133. Character Creation
  134. Copper Cockeral Cards & Gifts
  135. Elves, Drugs, and Opium: A Look At The Drug Use In The Quaraun Books
  136. How To Stay Motivated To Write | Writing Fantasy Books
  137. Jewelry Fashions in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  138. Keyword Marketing - What to do when your best keywords are low demand
  139. Magic Systems and How to Build Them | Writing Fantasy Books
  140. NaNoWriMo Overachievers: How did you do it?
  141. Quaraun Cover Art Gallery | Fantasy Novel Book Cover Art
  142. Quaraun The Insane : Zebulon's Captive: The Last of The Moon Elves
  143. SEO Advantages of Embedding YouTube Videos On Your Website
  144. Summoner of Darkness: A Tavern Scene - Chastity Cages, and Whores
  145. Summoner of Darkness: The Return of ZooLock (free to read online)
  146. Twighlight Not Twilight Part 2
  147. Vanishing Books Update - Why 27 of my books were deleted off Amazon
  148. What is a God in Your Universe? | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  149. Writing Maine: How To Write About Maine Life Accurately
  150. What the Ocean Gives Me (How Things In Your Life Affect Your Writing)
  151. City of The Slushies | Chapter 14 | Quaraun The Insane
  152. February 10, 2008 - Harassment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  153. How does a bestselling book become a bestseller?
  154. Marriage in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  155. People are not interested in long winded copy
  156. September 26, 2017 - The Latest Attack By The KKK on The Thinner Gypsies
  157. Spending Money To Make Money Online? Should You Do It?
  158. Summoner of Darkness: The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness
  159. Summoner of Darkness: The Map of The Town (novel free to read online)
  160. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt GOTY | Completionist Run: Episode 01
  161. Trespassers: April 2007 Updates
  162. Turning Scenes, Into Stories & Writing Travelogue Style Fantasy Books
  163. Where To Get Endless Ideas For Short Stories, Novels, and Articles
  164. Writing Controversial Books: Political Correctness & White Supremacists
  165. Are Bad Reviews Good For You?
  166. Branding Yourself While Avoiding The Scams | EelKat On Content Writing
  167. Child Sacrifice in Fantasy Novels | Writing Fantasy Books
  168. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  169. How would you explain your Fantasy world to a stranger?
  170. Page 6 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  171. Summoner of Darkness: HellBorne The Evil, Lord of Black Tower
  172. The return of Friends Are Forever - Banned and Burned it's about to be reborn!
  173. Why do Lovecraftian beings come to earth?
  174. Writing Prompts Syndrome?
  175. Autism = The Crazy Cat Woman of Maine
  176. Autism: Understanding what is really going on inside the child’s head.
  177. But what exactly IS a full time income?
  178. Content Marketing & writing: How I write content for my website
  179. Do you write a novel start-to-finish?
  180. GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: How To Kill a Lich
  181. How is it that the church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?
  182. How To Write A Novel: In what order do you create your world?
  183. I loved my children but I loved BoomFuzzy more | From Quaraun The Insane
  184. My Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been
  185. Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers
  186. Quaraun and the Amazon Adult Filter
  187. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  188. Summoner of Darkness: Where Are You Hiding That Horse?
  189. Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harassment. :(
  190. What would happen if an Elf adopted a Human baby? | Writing Fantasy Books
  191. Page 10 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  192. Page 3 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  193. Page 8 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  194. SCRIPT FRENZY 2010: I WON! & Psycho Stalker Attacks
  195. Wristlets, Wrist Bags, Mini Clutch, Cosmetic Bags, and Designer Mini Purses
  196. Writing Your Novel: Do you save chapters as individual files?
  197. Are old AD&D adventures still any use to current players?
  198. Autistics Have Feelings Too & Diverse Books Rant
  199. Be True To You: YouTube Gamers: "Faking" a personality until you make it?
  200. City of The Slushies | Chapter 10 | Quaraun The Insane
  201. HEA in Erotica (Should You Write Happily Ever Afters?)
  202. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies



dancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing banana


“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes aroMy Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been

Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers

und comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.” 

― Jessica Brody


"By autistic standards, the “normal” brain is easily distractible, is obsessively social, and suffers from a deficit of attention to detail and routine. Thus people on the spectrum experience the neurotypical world as relentlessly unpredictable and chaotic, perpetually turned up too loud, and full of people who have little respect for personal space." 

— Steve Silberman



Attempt Something New Today! – too many people talk about doing this or that but few actually take action, it's the why behind why so few succeed and so many fail.




I'm not made of money, I'm made out of glitter and kittens. 

~CinnamonToastKen 2017


“When people see you're happy doing what you're doing, it sort of takes the power away from them to tease you about it.” 

― Wendy Mass, Every Soul a Star




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