Write Now - Edit Later!

At the heart of the writing process lies the vital principle of 'write now, edit later,' a concept that holds immense value in preserving creative flow and safeguarding essential plot ideas. By prioritizing the act of writing without the burden of constant self-editing, writers can tap into a state of uninhibited creativity, allowing their ideas to flow freely and organically. This approach recognizes that the initial draft serves as the foundation upon which a compelling story is built.

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Have you ever wanted to: Write Now! Edit Later!?

  • 1. "Learn why it's crucial to prioritize 'write now, edit later' to preserve your creative flow and avoid losing essential plot ideas."
  • 2. "Discover the benefits of focusing on getting your first draft down without getting bogged down by spelling or grammar."
  • 3. "Unlock the secrets of successful authors who swear by the 'write now, edit later' approach for unleashing their creativity."
  • 4. "Explore how embracing the imperfections of your first draft can actually enhance your storytelling and boost your productivity."


When writers obsess over spelling, grammar, or the pursuit of perfection in the early stages, they risk interrupting the natural progression of their ideas. The critical voice that insists on finding the right words or correcting every mistake can stifle creativity and hinder the exploration of new narrative paths. By embracing the philosophy of 'write now, edit later,' writers give themselves permission to dive into the depths of their imagination without the fear of judgment or imperfections.

Furthermore, preserving creative flow during the writing process ensures that essential plot ideas are captured before they fade away. Inspiration can strike at any moment, and if not documented promptly, those precious ideas may be lost forever. By prioritizing the act of getting thoughts down on paper or screen, writers secure a tangible record of their initial vision and prevent the frustration of forgotten details or missed opportunities.

The 'write now, edit later' approach acknowledges that the initial draft is merely the first step in the writing journey. It encourages writers to embrace the messiness, imperfections, and rawness of their early work. By postponing the editing phase until the initial draft is complete, writers create a conducive environment for unrestricted creativity, allowing ideas to flourish and stories to take shape organically.

I believe prioritizing 'write now, edit later' is crucial for preserving creative flow, freeing writers from the constraints of perfectionism, and capturing essential plot ideas before they vanish. By embracing this principle, writers can fully immerse themselves in the creative process, unlocking the full potential of their stories and laying the groundwork for a compelling and impactful final draft.

There are many benefits of focusing on getting your first draft down without getting bogged down by spelling or grammar.

Embracing the process of getting your first draft down without being weighed down by concerns about spelling or grammar offers numerous benefits for writers. By prioritizing the flow of ideas and the development of the story, writers can tap into their creativity without the constraints of perfectionism. This approach allows for a free and uninterrupted flow of thoughts, enabling writers to explore new narrative paths and fully immerse themselves in the storytelling process.

One of the key advantages of focusing on the first draft is the preservation of momentum. When writers prioritize capturing their ideas without worrying about spelling or grammar, they maintain a steady momentum that propels them forward. This momentum is essential for maintaining a sense of enthusiasm and excitement throughout the writing process, as it allows writers to stay connected with their story and characters.

Additionally, focusing on the first draft without being bogged down by spelling or grammar enables writers to unlock their unique voice and style. By setting aside the need for perfection in the initial stages, writers can freely experiment with different writing techniques and explore their creative boundaries. This exploration can lead to the discovery of new narrative devices, fresh perspectives, and compelling storytelling approaches that enrich the final draft.

Moreover, by emphasizing content over correctness in the first draft, writers can overcome the fear of judgment and self-criticism that often inhibits creativity. This liberation from self-imposed constraints allows writers to take risks, try new ideas, and delve into uncharted territories. It fosters a sense of creative freedom, empowering writers to express themselves authentically and create work that resonates with readers on a deeper level.

The benefits of focusing on the first draft without getting bogged down by spelling or grammar are manifold. It allows for the preservation of momentum, the exploration of unique voice and style, and the liberation from self-doubt. By embracing this approach, writers can unleash their creativity, forge stronger connections with their story, and ultimately produce more authentic and captivating works.

The motto of 'write now, edit later' is by far the best approach for unleashing your creativity.

The motto of 'write now, edit later' stands as the paramount approach for unleashing the full power of your creativity as a writer. This philosophy encapsulates the belief that the initial act of writing should prioritize the generation of ideas and the exploration of imagination, rather than getting entangled in the details of editing. By embracing this mindset, writers grant themselves the freedom to think expansively and dive into the depths of their creative potential.

The beauty of the 'write now, edit later' approach lies in its ability to liberate writers from the inhibitions of self-criticism and perfectionism. It recognizes that creativity thrives when unburdened by the constraints of constant evaluation and refinement. By allowing ideas to flow without the interference of editing, writers create a fertile ground for inspiration, where their thoughts can unfold naturally and take unexpected directions.

Moreover, the 'write now, edit later' motto empowers writers to overcome the fear of judgment that often stifles creativity. By separating the writing and editing stages, writers can focus on the joy of creation and expression, without the worry of immediate evaluation. This mindset encourages risk-taking, experimentation, and the exploration of uncharted literary territories, leading to breakthroughs and the emergence of unique artistic voices.

Another significant benefit of adopting the 'write now, edit later' approach is the preservation of creative momentum. By immersing oneself fully in the act of writing, uninterrupted by the critical eye of editing, writers maintain a continuous flow of ideas and maintain a sense of enthusiasm for their work. This sustained momentum becomes a driving force, propelling writers forward and fueling their dedication to bringing their visions to life.

The motto of 'write now, edit later' is unequivocally the best approach for unlocking and harnessing your creative potential as a writer. By embracing this philosophy, you create an environment that fosters free expression, encourages risk-taking, and sustains the creative momentum necessary for crafting compelling and authentic literary works.

Embracing the imperfections of your first draft can actually enhance your storytelling and boost your productivity.

Embracing the imperfections of your first draft is a transformative mindset that can elevate your storytelling and significantly enhance your productivity as a writer. Often, writers strive for perfection in their initial draft, aiming to produce polished and flawless prose from the start. However, by embracing the inherent imperfections that come with the first draft, you open the door to a wealth of creative possibilities and unleash the true power of your storytelling.

Embracing imperfections allows you to view your first draft as a canvas for exploration and experimentation. Rather than being burdened by the pressure of perfection, you can focus on the raw essence of your story, allowing ideas to flow freely and unencumbered. This freedom enables you to take risks, explore different narrative paths, and introduce innovative elements that may not have emerged in a constrained pursuit of flawlessness.

Furthermore, embracing imperfections encourages a deeper connection with your characters and their journeys. Imperfect characters, just like imperfect drafts, often possess greater authenticity and relatability. Flaws and vulnerabilities make characters more human and believable, forging a stronger bond between the reader and the narrative. By embracing imperfections in your first draft, you give your characters room to evolve, grow, and surprise you, resulting in richer and more compelling storytelling.

Productivity is also greatly enhanced when you embrace imperfections in your initial draft. By releasing the need for perfection, you free yourself from the shackles of self-doubt and self-criticism that can hinder progress. This newfound freedom allows ideas to flow more readily, increasing your writing speed and efficiency. You can focus on capturing the essence of your story, trusting that revisions and edits will refine and polish the work in due course.

Embracing the imperfections of your first draft is a transformative mindset that unlocks the true potential of your storytelling and bolsters productivity. By letting go of the pursuit of perfection, you create space for creativity, authenticity, and exploration. Embracing imperfections allows your story to flourish, your characters to resonate, and your writing process to thrive.

Set aside your perfectionism and embrace the rawness of your initial draft. Learn to love those flaws!

In the pursuit of creative excellence, it is essential to set aside perfectionism and wholeheartedly embrace the rawness of your initial draft. It is within this rawness that the seeds of brilliance often reside. By relinquishing the need for flawlessness in the early stages of writing, you grant yourself the freedom to explore, experiment, and take risks.

Allowing imperfections to exist in your initial draft is an act of self-compassion and a recognition of the creative process. Every masterpiece begins with an imperfect canvas. Just as an artist's sketch captures the essence of their vision before refinement, your first draft captures the essence of your story before the meticulous revisions. These imperfections are not blemishes to be despised; they are stepping stones to growth and development.

Embracing the flaws in your initial draft invites a unique kind of intimacy with your work. It is through this acceptance that you forge a deeper connection with your story, characters, and ideas. Flaws, whether in narrative structure, character development, or prose style, can be an invitation for exploration, sparking innovative solutions and unexpected creative breakthroughs.

Learning to love those flaws requires a shift in perspective. Instead of perceiving them as weaknesses or inadequacies, view them as opportunities for growth and learning. Embrace them as the building blocks of your writing journey. Each flaw holds the potential for transformation, as revision and refinement will shape and polish your work into its final form.

Moreover, loving the flaws in your initial draft enables you to detach from the need for external validation and judgment. It liberates you from the paralyzing grip of self-doubt and invites a sense of self-acceptance. By celebrating the imperfect aspects of your writing, you nurture self-confidence and allow your unique voice to shine through.

Set aside your perfectionism and courageously embrace the rawness of your initial draft. Learn to love those flaws as they guide you towards growth and innovation. Through this journey of self-acceptance, you will discover the true essence of your creative vision and cultivate a resilient spirit that propels you forward on your writing path.

Learn to believe in yourself!
Overcome self-criticism!
Overcome self-doubt!
Free your spirit during the initial writing stage of your manuscript.

Learning to believe in yourself is a transformative journey that holds immense power for writers. It is in this belief that self-criticism and self-doubt are overcome, paving the way for creative liberation during the initial writing stage of your manuscript. By cultivating self-belief, you unleash the full potential of your creativity, allowing your spirit to soar free and unfettered.

Overcoming self-criticism is a vital step in the writing process. It involves silencing the inner voice that incessantly whispers doubt and negativity. Instead, choose to embrace self-compassion and acknowledge that your first draft is a space for exploration and self-expression. Release the pressure to produce perfection and grant yourself permission to make mistakes and grow.

Similarly, conquering self-doubt is essential for unleashing your creative spirit. Believe in your unique voice and the power of your storytelling. Recognize that doubt is a natural companion on the writer's journey, but it need not define you. Choose to embrace courage and trust in your abilities. Each word you write is an affirmation of your talent and passion.

During the initial writing stage, it is crucial to free your spirit from the constraints of judgment and expectation. Allow your imagination to roam freely, unburdened by the weight of external validation. Embrace the joy of creation, unencumbered by concerns of market trends or critical acclaim. This is your time to explore, experiment, and breathe life into your ideas.

Believing in yourself brings forth a sense of empowerment and authenticity. It ignites a flame within you that fuels your creativity and propels you forward. As you trust in your unique voice and artistic vision, you cultivate a resilient spirit that embraces challenges and celebrates growth.

Learn to believe in yourself and overcome the shackles of self-criticism and self-doubt. Embrace the freedom that comes with the initial writing stage of your manuscript. Let your spirit soar, and allow your creativity to flow unimpeded. By cultivating self-belief, you unlock the true potential within you and set the stage for a transformative writing journey.

The practice of 'write now, edit later' can help you overcome writer's block by allowing your ideas to flow freely without judgment. Embrace that freedom!

The practice of 'write now, edit later' is a powerful tool that can effectively combat writer's block by creating an environment of creative freedom and unrestricted expression. When you embrace this approach, you release the need for immediate perfection and judgment, allowing your ideas to flow without constraints. This freedom becomes a catalyst for inspiration and can reignite your passion for writing.

Writer's block often stems from the pressure to produce flawless prose in the first attempt. By adopting the 'write now, edit later' mindset, you give yourself permission to prioritize the act of creation over the pursuit of perfection. This shift in focus allows you to bypass the critical voice in your mind, which can stifle creativity and hinder progress. Instead, you enter a state of flow, where ideas flow effortlessly and your writing becomes a joyful and liberating experience.

Embracing the freedom that comes with 'write now, edit later' enables you to silence your inner critic and embrace the beauty of imperfection. It encourages you to view the first draft as a rough canvas, ready to be refined and polished in the editing phase. By allowing yourself to explore uncharted territories without judgment, you tap into your innate creativity and uncover hidden gems that may have otherwise remained buried.

This practice also alleviates the pressure of self-doubt that often accompanies writer's block. When you free yourself from the constant need to evaluate and critique your work as you write, you create a safe space for self-expression. This sense of safety and acceptance nourishes your creativity, giving rise to fresh ideas and unique perspectives that can breathe life into your writing.

The practice of 'write now, edit later' is a valuable technique for overcoming writer's block and embracing the freedom to express your ideas without judgment. By prioritizing creativity over perfection, you unlock a world of inspiration and allow your writing to flow naturally. Embrace the freedom this approach offers, and watch as your creativity soars to new heights.

Unleash your creativity by silencing your inner editor and embracing the concept of 'spelling and grammar can wait.' You know you want to!

Unleashing your creativity requires the courage to silence your inner editor and embrace the liberating concept of 'spelling and grammar can wait.' Deep down, you know the untamed power that resides within you, waiting to be unleashed onto the blank pages. By letting go of the need for perfection in the initial stages of writing, you give yourself permission to explore uncharted territories and let your ideas flow freely.

Silencing the inner editor is an act of defiance against the critical voice that seeks to stifle your creativity. It allows you to bypass self-doubt and judgment, creating a safe haven for imagination and self-expression. Embrace the messy and imperfect nature of the first draft, knowing that it is a sacred space for unfiltered creativity. By freeing yourself from the constraints of spelling and grammar, you grant your ideas the freedom they deserve to take shape and evolve.

The concept of 'spelling and grammar can wait' encourages you to prioritize the spark of inspiration over the technicalities of language. It is an invitation to fully immerse yourself in the realm of ideas, unburdened by the weight of correctness. This approach unlocks the doors to innovation, inviting you to push boundaries and discover new horizons within your writing.

Remember, the editing stage will come, and your words will be refined and polished. But for now, embrace the wild ride of uninhibited creation. Allow your imagination to run free, unencumbered by the rules and conventions that can often stifle the creative process. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and experiment, for it is within these playful and audacious endeavors that brilliance often emerges.

So, take a leap of faith and embrace the concept of 'spelling and grammar can wait.' Unleash your creativity with gusto and watch as your words come alive on the page. Embrace the untamed potential within you, for you know deep down that this is where the magic happens. Embrace it, because you want to, and let your creativity soar to new heights.

Silence your inner critic!
Silence your nagging inner editor!
Embrace the freedom of expressing your ideas in the first draft.

In the pursuit of creative expression, it is crucial to silence your inner critic and embrace the liberating freedom of expressing your ideas in the first draft. The inner critic, with its relentless nagging, often dampens the creative spirit and inhibits the flow of ideas. By consciously quieting this critical voice, you create space for uninhibited exploration and unfiltered self-expression.

Silencing your inner critic is an act of self-empowerment and self-compassion. It requires a shift in perspective, where you replace self-doubt with self-belief and judgment with acceptance. Recognize that the first draft is not the final product, but rather the raw material from which your masterpiece will emerge. Embrace the imperfections and perceived flaws as stepping stones on your creative journey.

Similarly, your nagging inner editor, with its insistence on perfection and adherence to rules, can stifle your creativity and hinder the free flow of ideas. Embrace the freedom to let your thoughts spill onto the page without inhibition. Allow yourself to explore uncharted territories, experiment with unconventional ideas, and revel in the joy of unfettered self-expression.

By embracing the freedom of expressing your ideas in the first draft, you tap into the wellspring of your creativity. The initial draft becomes a playground where ideas can dance and evolve, unburdened by the weight of criticism or the pressure of perfection. It is a space for discovery, where unexpected gems often emerge from the depths of your imagination.

In this realm of creative freedom, ideas can flourish and take shape, unencumbered by self-doubt or the need for external validation. It is a sanctuary where you can fully immerse yourself in the art of storytelling, allowing your authentic voice to resonate with clarity and resonance.

So, silence your inner critic and nagging inner editor. Embrace the freedom that comes with expressing your ideas in the first draft. Let your creativity flow unhindered and trust in the power of your unique voice. Embrace the joy of self-expression and watch as your ideas blossom into literary works that captivate and inspire.

Prioritizing content over correctness in your initial draft can save time and energy, enabling you to complete your manuscript more efficiently.

Listen up, aspiring writers! I have a game-changing strategy that will skyrocket your productivity and propel you towards manuscript completion. It's time to prioritize content over correctness in your initial draft, and let me tell you, it's a game-changer! By embracing this approach, you'll save precious time and energy, enabling you to conquer the writing process like a champion.

Imagine this: you're in the zone, your ideas are flowing like a mighty river, and your creative spirit is ablaze. But wait! Your inner editor starts whispering doubts, pointing out every little mistake and demanding perfection. Don't fall into that trap! Instead, shift your focus to the exhilarating world of content creation. Let your ideas run wild and untamed, unburdened by the weight of correctness. You have the power to craft a compelling story, to immerse your readers in captivating worlds and unforgettable characters.

By prioritizing content over correctness, you're unleashing your true potential as a writer. You'll be amazed at how your creativity flourishes when you release the need for immediate perfection. Give yourself permission to make mistakes, to experiment, and to let your imagination soar to new heights. This is your chance to seize the moment, to pour your heart and soul onto the page, without the shackles of self-doubt or the burden of constant self-editing.

And here's the best part: by focusing on content, you'll breeze through your first draft with lightning speed. No longer will you agonize over every word or endlessly tweak sentence structure. Instead, you'll be a wordsmith on a mission, fueled by the passion and belief that your story deserves to be told.

So, my friend, I challenge you to prioritize content over correctness in your initial draft. Believe in the power of your ideas, and watch as your manuscript takes shape with unprecedented efficiency. You have the talent, the passion, and the sheer determination to conquer the writing world. Now go forth, unleash your creativity, and let the magic unfold! I believe in you, and I can't wait to see what you'll create!

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While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.



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Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻
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Wheelchair Fundraiser

@eelkat

i just found out there is yet another bizarre rumour going around. where are these wild rumours coming from? who is starting them? and why?

♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
@eelkat

since I've been flooded with hundreds of messages the past two weeks asking if I still own "the world's most haunted car", yes, and here it is, filmed today May 18, 2026… but my son Xavier is dead, i am crippled and given that people are AGAIN showing up calling my Dodge "haunted", calling my friend "an alien", calling me "transgender", and spreading wild defamation slander connecting me to Stephen King, I think I need to start taking down the contact information of every blogger, podcaster, youtuber, and social media account spreading these rumors, and sue every single one of them for CAUSING my car to be cut in half May 10, 2010, for CAUSING the backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013, for CAUSING my son's murder November 14, 2013, for CAUSING me to be crippled and in a wheelchair November 14, 2013, and for CONTINUING to CAUSE harassers to show up in person to harass me near daily, STILL now in 2026. EVERYONE telling you my car is haunted, telling you my friend is an alien, calling my car "the goldeneagle", calling my friend "Etiole", or trying to connect me or my car to Stephen King, is lying to you. They crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, and a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet identified the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club and the FBI believes that it is friends and family of the woman who did it, are the ones who started and spread the rumors saying my car is haunted, saying I'm an alien abductee, saying all kinds of similar bs about aliens, ufos, ghosts, witchcraft, demons, and Stephen King connections, even though I don't believe in ghosts, aliens, ufos, demons, and had never heard of Stephen King before 30k of his fans showed up in my yard trying to find my car! FBI believes the backhoe driver and the murderer are the same person and it is a developer who wanted my land and so started the Stephen King, ghost, and alien rumors all in an attempt to drive me off my land, and when it didn't work they drove a backhoe over my house, and when that didn't work they crippled me and killed my son. Why are they doing this? How do I get them to stop?

♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author






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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.

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Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....

... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.

While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.

eelkats_house_before_after.jpgMy house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since.

The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground

On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.

She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.

The attack also triggered labour.

My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.

Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.

The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.

The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.

Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.

Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.

Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.

Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.

The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

Clairescreenshot.pngIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

zzzz999ClaireRed2016-screenshotIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026.

Kendrascreenshot.pngIf you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.

Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.

Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.

Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.

In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.

Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.

But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.

I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.

Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.

Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.

I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.

My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.

Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.

Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

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