You have encountered an extremely old website that continues to exist in old web ways, the same way it has done for now three decades.
In spite of being now 30 years old this year, started in 1996, it is still heavily active and old pages updated daily, new pages added daily, still now in 2026. All hand written, all hand coded (no AI), all by me, same as it ever was.
We Still Exist: The Old Web Did Not Go Away, You Just Forgot How To Find Us
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This site was NOT designed for mobile devices (as they had not been invented yet when I created it) thus this site looks best on a computer, at 1280x768 or above. |
This is a very old website created in 1996, so, yes, javascript is needed for the site to work as it should. If things don't function, you may need to update javascript drivers on your device |
This site tries to be mobile friendly but it's been online since 1996, so old pages may not load right on mobile devices, and as this site has had pages added near daily for 30 years there are now over 20k pages here. |
Having started out in life as a GeoCities site, this site contains glitter, bright colours, blinkies, moving gifs, and other things the old web was known for. |
f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:
...and after that video, you want these ones:
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If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
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The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:
If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Do you know who this woman is?
On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.
She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.
Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.
The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club. |
The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
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If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?
Video explains what else she's done ...
If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
"i'm a writer and i wanted to know how to handle my fight scenes so that they sound realistic to some degree can you give me a hand?
while my story has superheroes in it, i want to make sure that they're attack and defense and counter attacks don't completely defy the laws of physics and help would be appreciated."
Uhm, okay, you need help with a lot more than fight scenes. My first suggestion is you learn English Grammar. My second suggestion is, capitalization. You are having some serious capitalization issue here. You did not capitalize a single word, not even first words of sentences or the pronoun "I", both of which you should have learned in 1st grade at age 6.

If you didn't go to school, will guess what, neither did I. I have Autism, I was a kid in the 1970s before the equality laws and integrated classrooms where invented, so I wasn't allowed to go to school, I wasn't even allowed to go to the special classes on the little yellow bus. No. Autism = no school period, but did that stop me from my goal of wanting to be a writer (keeping in mind by age 6 I had already published 4 books)?
No.
It did not.
I read every book I could find on English Grammar and Composition.
At 9 years old I set myself the task of diagramming 100 sentences each and every day and I did this for 12 years. Why? Because I wanted to be a writer and I wasn't going to let some snotty nosed government tell me I wasn't allowed to go to school and learn how to write, so I taught myself.
If I can do that without having gone to school, because I was "too retarded" to go to school, than there is no reason why you or anyone else on this damn planet who wants to be a writer, should be using sloppy, lazy writing and blatantly refusing to capitalize words correctly.
A typo is one thing, but you didn't capitalize anything. NOT ONE LETTER. And that means one of too things:
1) You are too lazy to take the time to follow the rules, or too lazy go out of your way learn the rules. Which means you are not very motivated to set your feet on the path of a writing career.
or
2) You don't really care what I have to say. You don't think my time is worth the effort I put into answering your questions, so you don't think you have to bother formatting your question correctly. I got news for you, when ever you contact an author, editor, or publisher, and start your letter with "I'm a writer" you better make damned sure that you look like a writer, act like a writer, and talk like a writer, by making your writing as absolutely perfect as possibly, or we are going to laugh your ass into the funny farm, because there ain't no way this side of hell an author, editor, or publisher is going to believe that you are a writer if you can't even write a simple question legibly.
Okay?
Until you know the rules of writing and are willing to follow them, don't say "I'm a writer", because I can see from your lack of writing know how that you are not a writer. Instead say "I want to become a writer".
If you are a regular reader of my column, than you should know that you can not use sloppy grammar in your questions to me, and expect me to not call you out on it. It really annoys me when someone claims to be a writer but they don't take the time to edit their questions. Your correspondence with authors, editors, and publishers is a very important part of establishing your credibility as a writer. You must use proper grammar when corresponding with others in the business if you want to be taken seriously.
Now don't go getting discouraged. I'm not saying this to be mean or chase you of your writing dreams. I'm saying this to give you a kick in the pants and open your eyes to the fact that if you want to be a writer, than you need to shape up and get your act together here. If you want to be taken seriously as a writer, you need to buckle down and learn the rules of English Grammar and put them to use. Because you may have the best idea, the best story, the best plot, the best characters under the sun, but none of that matters if you can't get that story done on paper properly.
No matter how good your story is, if you don't know how to get it on paper correctly, you will never be published. Okay?
>>>"i'm a writer and i wanted to know how to handle my fight scenes so that they sound realistic to some degree can you give me a hand?
Well... no. I don't write fight scenes. Were you under the impression that I did?
I am wondering why you sent me this email.
You are asking me for help to do something that I don't do.
Why exactly?
Here's another tip: Before you email an author, like you just did when you emailed me, make sure you first read a bit of the author's work ahead of time, to make certain that the author in question, actually does the thing you are requesting help with.
I've gotta say, I'm not very impressed by your email.
First you tell me your a writer, but you don't even know basic Kindergarten Grammar, let alone High School or College level Grammar, which you MUST know and PRACTICE if you want to be a writer.
Than, you contact me to ask how to write a thing, that I don't even write to begin with.
Research.
Research how to write fight scenes.
AND ...
Research what an author writes before you contact that author asking them to teach you how to write something.
>>>while my story has superheroes in it, i want to make sure that they're attack and defense and counter attacks don't completely defy the laws of physics and help would be appreciated."
Write what you know.
It really is as easy as that.
Don't write things you know nothing about.
Very simple.
I know nothing about fighting. So I can't very well, write fight scenes, OR teach you how to write them either.
I would suggest, that you watch videos teaching stunt men how to fake fights and make it look real. Than apply what you learn from those to your writing. Watch action movies with fight scenes in them and describe what you see.
Also....
>>>while my story has superheroes in it, i want to make sure that they're attack and defense and counter attacks don't completely defy the laws of physics and help would be appreciated."
Do you know what a superhero even is?
Superheroes defy the laws of physics by their very existence.
Superman flies.
SpiderMan climbs walls.
Defying the laws of physics IS kind of what makes a super hero a super hero.
But than after all that, are you REALLY CERTAIN that you actually WANT to have fight scenes in your novel?
Think about it. There IS a REASON why writers DO NOT write fight scenes in novels.
Fight scenes are boring to read. Fun to WATCH in a movie, sure, but when was the last time you READ a fight scene in a novel?
She punches left. He dodge right. Yawn! No one wants to read line after line of fancy foot stepping, hand swings, and ballet moves.
Just say: "She punched Steve and a fist fight broke out between them" and be done with it, like every other writer does. The reader knows, she swung the first punch. and Steve punched back and the two of them had a brawls.
The reader saw the entire thing in their mind from just that one line and you don't need to spend time trying to figure out how to write step by step of every swing.
He swung his sword. The other guy parried. Dull. Dry. Boring. No one wants to read a fencing lesson.
Just say: "Larry pulled out his sword, lunged forward, and challenged Steve to a duel. Poor Steve, every one was out to get him today. Sword clanged and clashed. Steel swinging. Steve dodged, parried, rolled and ran. He wasn't one for fighting. He just wanted to get out of there."
The reader can see Larry lunge, they can here the swords clashing, they can see Steve's reaction. The whole fight plays out in under 5 lines and the reader filled in the details, so didn't need to write them.
When it comes to fight scenes, less is more. Give the reader JUST what they need to know. Let the reader's mind do the rest.
You might want to try reading a few Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Historical Fiction, and War Story novels. It won't take you long to realize NONE of those genres contain fight scenes. It just isn't done.
If you were someone who read books, you would know that already, too.
The fact that you don't that, tells me, not only do you not know grammar, not only to you not do research, but now on top of that, you also don't read novels enough to know how novels are written and what's do and do not include in them.
I write Epic Length High Fantasy. Since 1978 there have been 130+ volumes published, each volume is around 400 pages (about 180k words per novel). That's around 24Million words published for a single series about an Elf wizard on the run wanted for murder and a motley crew of Faeries, Gnomes, Demons, and other races all mages, whom he encounters and interacts with along the way.
In 43 years, 138 novels published, and 24Million words, I've YET to write a battle scene, a fight scene, a war scene, a combat scene, a political scene, factions, soldiers, or anything else in any way related to wars, battles, fighting, intrigue, etc.
>>>How much action do you really need in a fantasy book or how long can you go without having a big battle scene in a book before it gets boring?
None.
In fact, I find battle scenes boring and I wouldn't/don't read Fantasy novels that contained them.
But different people like different things.
If you write a lot of fight scenes, than, I'm not your ideal reader, but that doesn't mean there aren't readers who think just like you and want the type of novel you want to write.
But this just shows that we are different and have different tastes.
Nothing wrong with that at all.
You keep right on reading and writing what you like and I'll keep right on reading and writing what I like.
Plenty of Fantasy novels don't contain any at all, in fact MOST Fantasy novel are completely 100% devoid of combat, fights, battles, wars, etc. It really is rather unusual to find such things in Fantasy novels.
>>>Do you need action in every chapter or every 2 or 3 or what?
Uhm... you don't read Fantasy novels do you?
There is a common misconception among writers new to the Fantasy genre, that because Fantasy movies and Fantasy RPG video games are filled with non-stop battle, that therefore Fantasy novels must be so as well.
Movies REQUIRE action because it's a visual medium and people will get bored watching 2 characters sit and talk. But novels rarely have any real "movie style" action in them. Try reading a few Fantasy novels and you'll see.
A prime example would be Hermione's Save the House Elves Club.
That was a MAJOR plot point in the Harry Potter novels, that took up more than half the story, and revolved around the students sitting and talking and debating and talking and voting and talking and petitioning and talking and making buttons and talking and handing out buttons and talking, and in the novels it worked really well, it held your interest and you wanted to keep reading their dialogue because it was interesting dialogue and you wanted to find out what was going to happen to the House Elves, was Hermione going to be able to pull this off and save poor Dobby and his friends?
But, the movie producers rightly excluded that entire PRIMARY PLOT POINT from the Harry Potter movies because, well, how boring would it have been to watch hour after hour after hour of kids sitting around talking, debating the rights of house Elves, the way they had done in the novels?
It was fascinating to read in the novels, but it would have been hell to watch in a movies. Movies require steady, non-stop action to hold the eyes of the viewer on the screen. Novels aren't visual so they don't need that. And when you try to put that same kind of action in a novel, it comes off boring to read.
Two other good examples of this are Treasure Island and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Both have movies that are full of non-stop fight scenes and action, and yet, there are no fight scenes or "action" in either novel.
Read classic Action Adventure novels like Treasure Island or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. There is NO action in them. ZERO. And yet they are the best action novels ever written. Why? Because they focus on the internal mental and emotional struggles of the characters.
You feel like you are there with Jim in that hut, as he sits there looking around at the dead bodies and wonders if his friends are still alive. He monologues the whole chapter. Worry. Fret. Panic. Worry. Fret. Panic. And you feel it. You feel how terrified he is that night is coming and the pirates will return and kill him next. It's terrifying. And it's all dialogue. Full on 100% dialogue. There no actual action. But it FEELS like the action happened to YOU as you read him sitting there huddled up hugging his knees terrified that Long John Silver is coming for him next. It's one of the most terrifying scenes in the novel, but it's not in ANY Treasure Island movie, because it'd be boring to watch, even though in the novel it sucks you in and is the best scene.
And the same for Captain Nemo. You feel like you are on that submarine. You feel like you are about to die. It's terrifying, because it's all monologuing dialogue of one character talking to himself chapter after chapter. No action happens on the page at all, but the dialogue is written so well, that you feel like there is none stop action happening. That's the power of good well written internal character struggles.
There is no action in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea or Treasure Island, and both novels are widely regarded as the 2 best Action novels ever written. Why? Because it's pure dialogue - one character monologuing their fears, their anxieties, their internal struggles, and it sucks you in and you feel terrified with them, you feel hunted with them, you feel like the enemy is coming after you too. You feel like there is none stop action, but it's just pure dialogue.
Read them. Read Treasure Island and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. And you'll see for yourself, how internal character struggles equal the best Action your story will ever have without any of that action ever appearing on the page.
This is where many new to the Fantasy genre fail badly and will never get published.
They watch Fantasy movies and play Fantasy video games, and SEE swords swinging, catapult swooping, explosions booming, and they think they MUST write those things in their Fantasy novel.
They jump into writing Fantasy without ever having read a Fantasy novel and they think because there is non-stop fighting in movies and video games they have to write non-stop fighting in novels too.
And than they wonder why no publisher of Fantasy will publish their work.
The fact remains, movies and video games are visual, and novels are cerebral. Visual media needs to be attractive to the eye, cerebral media needs to stimulate the brain. Visual media needs to hold the eyes' attention, cerebral media needs to hold the brain's attention. Thus movies have scenes that move quickly, tossing action left and right, while novels, meander along slowly allowing the reader to become immersed in the character's life.
My suggestion: write what you read, read what you write. You'd know how incredibly rare it is the see a fight scene in a Fantasy novel if you were in the habit of actually reading Fantasy novels on a regular basis.
Perhaps you are confusing War Stories and Historical Fiction with Fantasy? But even still, the focus is on the internal conflicts of a character and rarely on the war itself.
All that said, just write it the way you want to write it. Nothing wrong with that.
I think we as writers, should figure out who are ideal reader is, but, I also believe that there is a reader for everything.
I lean more towards the Romance side of things, I read and write a lot of emotions and feelings and internal struggles. That's what I like to read, so that's what I write. I write things I want to read. I feel that I am my own ideal writer, so I just write the books that I would like to see more of. So, my own books, always have some sort of Romance plot, characters struggle with their love life type of thing, but not the whole HEA Romance genre, rather just Romance being a major subplot in the story. So, of course, with that in mind, of course I end up writing Fantasy that is heavily character driven, focusing on emotions and interal struggles, and not the politics/factions/wars of the world, thus my Fantasy never has battle fight scenes, though it does have arguments between lovers, fist fights between rivals, tavern brawls fight scenes once in a while, but, battles, wars, combat, nope, never, not one.
But all of that, that is just me writing the type of book which I personally want to read. I write for myself. If readers like it too, great, if not, that's fine too, because I wrote it my way, the way I wanted it to be.
And I think every writer should do this.
That's the beauty of writing. If what you want to read isn't out there, you can write that book yourself.
If you want a fight scene every chapter, go ahead and write a fight scene every chapter. It's your story. Write it your way. You don't need to ask for permission from random strangers online, to write your story.
Why do you need someone's permission?
It's YOUR story, not theirs.
Just write it.
Write it exactly as you see it in your head.
Write it with as many or as few fight scenes as you think it needs.
When you get right down to it, so long as your grammar is good, there's no right or wrong way to write a story.
If you want to be trade published in a specific genre, you'll need to follow the genre guidelines big house publishers post on their websites, but if you plan to self publish, you don't need to follow those guidelines. Keep in mind that readers of a genre expect certain things from that genre, but at the same time, it's YOUR story, not theirs, so tell it your way.
You can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself.
Write your story your way.
As long as you have the basics of good grammar, you can write your novel whatever way you want, with as many or as few fights, battles, wars, and action scenes as you want, and don't you ever let anyone tell you other wise.
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.
Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.
For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:
American English to Scottish:
a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "
a long distance from = A piece fae
a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "
about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks
accomplishments = kunnandi
After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "
alive (living) = kvikr
Always on the move = Never aff o da go
am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"
are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"
autumn = dah haihst
belong to = fylgja
best = bettah moost
betray (verb) = svíkja
bewildered = villhyggjandi
building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "
built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."
cast a spell = hoodooed
cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"
child = bairn
church = kirk
color = colour
danger = hœttr
daren't = darena
daring = djarfr
dark = dökk
dark elf = Dökkálfr
dark-elves = Døkkálfar
darker = dökká
do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"
do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"
each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "
educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "
elf = Alfr
Elf = Álfr
Elf Home = Álfheimr
Elf World = Álfheimr
elf-advice = Ælfred
elf-beautiful = ælfscyne
elf-friend = Ælfwine
elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru
elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard
elf-powerful = Ælfric
everyday = ivvryday
eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"
fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."
feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."
further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."
green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."
handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "
have faith = trúa
Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis
Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.
have not = ain't
He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.
He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.
Head for = Mak wye for
head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak
head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie
horse fly = klegsie
I = Me
I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "
I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)
idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."
idiot = numpty
if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "
I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye
know = ken
looked = lokid
looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."
magic = hoodoo
naked = nøkkviðr
needle = bodkin
neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "
No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "
Nobody knew = not-knew nobody
Noontide = Da heicht o da day
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."
old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "
orange = o'jinn
out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."
outside = oot dair
people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "
people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."
poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "
Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "
shield = skjoldr
Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "
tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "
the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"
them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"
there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."
they = dey
To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."
understand = understonde
understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "
very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"
Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"
Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "
For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf
The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf
More information about our language can be found on this website: https://www.iheardee.com which is written in my native language.
However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.
My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.
It is a very great struggle.
At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.
Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.
I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.
Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.
Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.
If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.
However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.
My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.
While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.
As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.
I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.
Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.
As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.
have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.
I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.
I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".
It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"
The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.
The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.
While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.
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Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 |
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
>I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Ao3 | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |
Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....
... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.
While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since. |
The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground
On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.
She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.
The attack also triggered labour.
My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.
Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.
The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.
The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.
Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.
Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.
Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.
Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.
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The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.
Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.
Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.
Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.
In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.
Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.
But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.
I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.
Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.
Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.
I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.
My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.
Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
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There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.