Becoming A Better Writer:
How to write interesting dialogue.

By Wendy C Allen

f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:

...and after that video, you want these ones:

@eelkat #etiole #homelesspeople #homelessness #homelessinmaine #homeless #oldorchardbeach #maine #forest #leanto #homelesslivesmatter #homelessman #den #hermit #mainehermit #mainemountainman #mountainmen #mainelife #mainelifestyle #mainehomeless #homelesscommunity #homelesscrisis #homelessveteran #homelessveteranawareness #homelessawareness #homelesselder #homelesselderly ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

@eelkat 1964 #Dodge 330 that people call "Goldeneagle" or "world's most haunted car" #maine #artcar #volvo #antiquecars ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

Wendy Christine Allen, 2019, able to sit up in a chair for the first time in years, and able to raise up my arm and wiggle fingers. This was when I started playing Witcher 3 on Twitch as part of my physical therapy to regain finger movement. Playing Witcher 3 daily from 2016 to 2019, is how I regained the use of my thumb and two for fingers on my right hand... it is also why I stopped playing Witcher 3 in 2019, once I had strengthen my two forefingers enough to start typing again. Wendy Christine Allen, Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author, Artist, Illustrator, & Art Car Designer Counting Down to the September 23, 2028 50th Anniversary of my first published book (September 23, 1978) If you are here looking for The Twighlight Manor series, The Crystonite Wars series, The Wild Years series, The White Rock Asylum for the Criminally Insane series, The Twisted Tales series, the Captured By a MerMan series, The Space Dock 13 series, The Kats of Planet Ptarmagin series, the stories about Miss Citten the Eel-Kat, or the stories about Etiole... ALL of those series were combined and consolidated into The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane Pink Necromancer series in 2014, so ALL the different series, are now under one series title. List of the published titles still in print: The Index of over three thousand stories in The Pink Necromancer series What the series is about, for those new here: The introduction to The Pink Necromancer Series.

If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters: BoomFuzzy's Chowder Dilemma If your ass ain’t freezing or your brains ain’t scrambled, you’re ain’t really trying A Very Important Clump of Grass The Washer Woman & The Fae Absinthe Slushies: An Ode to Frozen Green Fairy Wine Bone Dice Excited For The New Baby Zwodder: A Drowsy Stupid State of Mind Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies Open Grave The Phooka's Dragon School The Moon Goddess Laughs From The Rooftops The Jar of Pickled Toes The Book Burning Maggots, a You Can't Spell Hatred Without Red Hats A Day In The Life of a Bumbling Necromancer The Three-Seventeen Pee Expedition

My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.

As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.

365 Cozy Writing Prompts For Fantasy Writers Vol.1: Daily Writing Prompts Series For Writers of Serial Pulp Fiction

365 Cozy Writing Prompts For Fantasy Writers Vol.2: Daily Writing Prompts Series For Writers of Serial Pulp Fiction

365 Cozy Writing Prompts For Fantasy Writers Vol.3: Daily Writing Prompts Series For Writers of Serial Pulp Fiction

365 Cozy Writing Prompts For Fantasy Writers Vol.4: Daily Writing Prompts Series For Writers of Serial Pulp Fiction

365 Cozy Writing Prompts For Fantasy Writers Vol.5: Daily Writing Prompts Series For Writers of Serial Pulp Fiction

There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.

Coming soon (Nov/Dec 2026)... patterns for my slow stitched embroidery:

The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.

There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.

I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:

• No, I do not believe in aliens. Stop contacting me to ask for alien information. If you believe in aliens, I think you are insane, retarded, or both.

• No, my car is not haunted. I've debunked that rumour many times now. . Stop contacting me to ask for haunted car information. If you believe in haunted cars, I think you are insane, retarded, or both.

• No, I am not connected to Stephen King. I didn't even know who he was until you idiots started contacting me asking about him. I had to look him up on Google to find out what you were even talking about! If you have questions about Stephen King, go contact him and ask him. I'm not him. I don't know him. I know nothing about him. I've never read one of his books. I've never seen one of his movies. I can't figure out why you people are even coming to me to ask about him in the first place!

1. If someone told you I believe in aliens, if someone told you my car was haunted, if someone told you I was connected to Stephen King, you NEED to contact the FBI agent in charge of my son's murder investigation and TELL HIM WHO it was who told ou, exactly WHAT it was they said, HOW they contacted you, WHERE they contacted you... because it is a KNOWN FACT that my son's murderer is the one who started all these slanderous alien, haunted car, Stephen King rumours, and the FBI is trying to catch her.

If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

Do you know who this woman is?

On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.

She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.

Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.

The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club.

The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

@eelkat part 9 of 10 #dogwalk around the block (Maine st, Elm st, South street, Bradbury st) #Biddeford #Maine #night #fbiinvestigation #truecrimetiktok ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?

Video explains what else she's done ...

If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. @eelkat part 7 of 10 #dogwalk around the block (Maine st, Elm st, St Mary's, Dunkin, South street, Bradbury st) #Biddeford #Maine #night #plannedparenthood ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

@eelkat part 4 of 10 #dogwalk around the block (Maine st, Elm st, St Mary's, Dunkin, South street, Bradbury st) #Biddeford #Maine #night #library ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

I am sick and tired of people not giving a shit that my son was murdered!

I am sick and tired of jackasses making up rumours and lies about me and my car, calling me an alien abductee and my car haunted, just to try to cover up my son's murder!

I keep a recorder running all day long. Records everything I say to anyone, everything they say to me, and picks up conversations of whoever is around (such as when shopping, etc.)

I take those and have a speech to text program type it up for me.

Then I read it and pay attention to how conversations flow.

I started doing this back in the 1990s.

You know what I noticed?*

• No one... absolutely no one finishes a sentence.
• Everyone jumps in to interrupt everyone else talking.
• No one speaks in sentences, everyone speaks in fragments.
• Everyone uses horrific grammar, is that not right, no?
• You can tell what country, state, city, even what side of town a person is from by the nuances, slang, idioms, dialects, etc in their speech.

For example, you know a person is from the Northdam Mill District of Biddeford, when joyfully greet you thusly:

"Hey! Yo bro! Fuck you ya damned bleeding bastard! How ya fucking, ya bastard out of damned fucking hell, ain't see ya fucking cock sucking hyde in like fucking forever, man. Damn. I'm mean bloody, just damn fucking forever! Where the fuck have ya been all these years, ya mother fucking cunt sucker? We gotta get together and fuck so ass again. Hey, it's been great seeing yar fucking shit around these parts. Stop by again. Don't be such a cock sucker."

Translation:

"Hey! Yo bro! Good to see you! How ya doing, ain't seen you all week. Where were you last week?We gotta get together and hang out at Homer's Bar. Hey, it's been great seeing you. Stop by again. Don't stay away so long."

I don't think any one in Biddeford knows that the word fuck is the French word that means "to have sex". In Biddeford "get fucked" means "get drunk" while "fucking forever" means "last week" and "mother fucking cunt sucker" means "old buddy/pal of mine" aka "my best friend" and "your fucking shit" means "you" or "your body" and it's a compliment to be told "you looking like fucking shit today!" which means "damn you look good today!" "Don't be a cock sucker" means "come back soon".

In case you were wondering, Unicorn is from Northdam District of Biddeford, Maine, and he talks just like that. Unicorn's mouth is the reason the series is rated M18.

Interestingly, you can see the children of this district of Biddeford, talking exactly the same way. Toddlers 5 and 6 years old, greet each other on the school yards with: "Hey buddy! Fuck you man!" which means "Hello"

Biddeford is a fascinating city, if you ever want to study strange insectuous lifestyles of Maine's most infamous mill town. The city which is proud of it's Guinness World Record Plaque which says it has the most incest relationships of any town in the world, at a rate of 73% of its 26,000 residents, with the majority of couples being siblings to each other.

• people talk in gibberish to each other and understand fully what the meaning was because... uhm... like... yeah... you know... just... it's like... when he said... you know that thing he said when he did the thing you was like yeah, but I was like woe and she was like what the .... but then she said... you know what she said... and you thought it was funny and I was like all yeah, you remember right?

• no one uses anyone else's name... it's all "Hey Bro!" "Bro!" Dude!" "Yo man!" "What up!" "Digging man!" "Yo bro!" You'd think everyone on the planet was named Bro or Dude.

• People rarely speak directly, rarely saying what they actually mean unless they are pushed to do so. They are more likely to speak in metaphors, euphemisms, slang terms, and rhetorics, rather than say bluntly what they mean.
  

• People rarely answer the question they were asked, instead answer the question they want to answer, often not realizing they are not answering the question asked, because they jumped to conclusions about what the asker meant. They say what it was they wanted to say, in the form of an answer, even though it is not the answer at all and is a different topic entirely.

• People tell stories and use examples as a way to explain what they mean. If they want to talk about Event A and what it will be like, they share memories of Event B and what it was like as a way to point out Event A will be similar.

• If something bad happened to person A, person B, C, and D, will each share a story of a time they had a similar bad event happen to them, in a sort of empathy bonding type of conversation to say: "I know this hurts because it hurt when it happened to me". Most people do this as a way to show they care, but sometimes it is mistaken as being trying to "one up" the person, and can lead to misunderstandings and arguments.

• People love their nonsense contractions ain't that'er right'll? You's know's it is.
• Unless they are Scottish, Welsh, or Irish, then they use no contractions and spell out every word and often add extra, because you can not no do better then if you would not go and say out every word.

• People answer in one word or less. "Yep." "Uh-huh". "Maybe." "Really?" "No!" 
• Unless they are Scottish, Welsh, or Irish, then they use every word they can think of and go very much wicked far out of their way to ad as many of them there extra words as they possibly can to them there sentences because why use one word to describe that new fangled wicked sick new store down yonder dere on that there road when you can use every word in the dictionary all at once in one single solitary sentence that rambles on forever and ever and ever.
  

• Odd and awkward phrasing is a feature of speech. 
• Regional dialects or characters whose first language is not English, are going to speak differently. 
• ESL character often do not use "a", "an", or "the", and reverse words like "is" and "are". 
• If they think they said it correctly but are uncertain they end by asking "yes?" 
• or if they think they said it incorrectly they end with asking "no?"...
• English is one of the few languages that does not assign gender to words; ESL people often have trouble with this and because English has no equivalent for the gender based descriptive words found in most other languages, thus ESL speakers often add "he" or "she" to inanimate objects.
• They often can not remember the correct English words to use and use their native language words instead.
• They often reverse pronouns.
• They may use phrases that come out entirely odd.

• For example: 

1. We is be at park, yes? 
2. She is good bench to sit on, yes? 
3. Them birds do no eat bread, no?
4. I put bread in boot, yes?
5. Me bahookie be wet, eh?
6. Ah! Chookie! Click cluck!
7. Me book, yes?
8. Ah! I threw me bum out de windea!

• Translation: 

1. Is this the park? 
2. Can I sit on that bench? 
3. Is it alright to feed the pigeons bread?
4. Can I put this bread in the trunk of your car?
5. Is my bum wet?
6. Look there's a chicken.
7. That's my book.
8. I mooned him. (I stuck my naked bum out the window.)

This by the way is typical speech pattern of a ESL person whose original language was either Gaelic or Scots English (My native language, thus why I know it and am able to write a ESL character who speaks it.)

However, if you're not familiar with the grammar of both languages, you are likely to write their incorrect grammar, into gibberish. A person who speaks French as their first language, speaks a vastly different broken English, from the person who spoke Gaelic as their first language, and both are vastly different from a person who speaks Russian or Chinese or some other language.

• Double negatives. You ain't no never knowing when they will shows up. But there ain't no one what for saw him a double negative that him dids not no use.

• Remember that more than half of real every day communication is non-verbal. Nods head. Shrugs. Shakes head. Throws hands over head and makes a face. Sticks out tongue. Smirks. Laughs. Fidgets fingers nervously. Eyebrows raise. Nose wrinkles in disgust. But not every action needs to be written. Only include the ones that tell the reader something important about the character's reaction.

• Awkward silences. They exist. You encounter them every day.

• He waited for her to say something. She just stared at him silently, so he continued talking...

• Real dialogue starts and stops. Conversations pause as people check their phones, eat their food, sip a drink, look around the room, and think about other ideas. If someone stops talking to look at their watch, say so, then continue the dialogue.
  

• Dialogue reflects their personality. 

• Shy people speak quietly, slowly, with much hesitation. They use a lot of uh.... ah.... uhm... and frequently say "I'm sorry" in between words for no reason at all. They use the word "I" a lot, frequently saying things like "I think this way, not that my opinion matters."

• Hyper people talk very fast, never stop talking even when others are speaking, don't finish what they are saying because they thought of something else more interesting to say, but don't finish that because they thought of something else. They use plural pronouns often referring to himself as "we" and us", saying things like "we ate dinner" (even though they were alone at the time.)

• Angry personality types, talk very brash, loud, and dominantly, using harsh, often crude words, frequently swearing, and ending sentences with threats. They often use the word "you", nearly always addressing everyone with "Hey you!" Often using phrases like: "You better or else." "I got y eye on you." "You better not make me come over there."

• Insecure people with very low self esteems, wait their turn to speak, often sit silently through the entire conversation, will usually raise their hand and wait to be called on (even as adults, in everyday conversations with their friends at the coffee shop), and often, when they are given the chance to speak, simply say "Never mind, it wasn't important" then continue to sit silently watching the others talk. They never jump into a conversation and often feel lonely and not accepted by the group.

• Info dumps are rare in conversations, however, they do happen. A person who does this, ALWAYS does it in every conversation with every one. They often speach in a manner that sounds as though they are reciting an encyclopedia chapter they had memorized (and this is often because that is exactly what they are doing.) Usually this is a person who was an only child with an overprotective mother who never allowed them to play with other children, thus they reached adulthood not knowing how to engage in normal social chit-chat small talk. They are often seen by others as rude, and tend to get bullied more often than most people because of the "little professor" style of talking they do. They tend to have VERY extreme emotions - becoming super excited as soon as anyone talks to them, and sinking to deep depression the moment someone tells them to shut up. They often sit silent for hours on end, terrified to open their mouth, desperately wanting to join the conversation, but not knowing the proper way to do so. They are often (incorrectly) described as arrogant or know-it-all. 

• People with very low IQs (-90) like to use very big words. Words they discovered in Thesauruses. Words no one uses in normal conversations. They often use said words incorrectly, but because no one around them knows the word, no one notices. In trying to convince others of their superior intellect, they often come off sounding like raving lunatics. They talk a lot. Often for hours on end. They have a tendency to include bizarre topics in their conversations, such as saying things like: "Did you know President Bush was a reptilian illuminati member from planet Kolob?"

• People with very high IQs (140+) are very quiet, speaking rarely, and using short, simple, direct words when they do talk. because their speech is so rarely used and so very simple, on first appearances they are often perceived as being illiterate.

• Extremely low IQ people spend an inordinate amount of time bragging about their "high IQ"

• Repetitive dialogue. People have favourite words and phrases and use them endlessly, in almost every sentence.

• Extremely high IQ people rarely, if ever mention intellect, IQs, etc..

• Sentences are short, move fast, are unfinished, people instinctively know what the other was saying and answers before they get to say it. No one describes anything... and entire conversation can exist were the same phrase gets repeated over and over.
  

"Hey!"

"Yo!"

"What up?"

"Hanging!"

"What'd ya get?"

"I saw this un just had to have it..."

"Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice!"

"I know right?"

"Where'd you get it?"

"WalMart."

"You found something like that.."

"I know, right?"

"How much..."

"Fifteen doll.."

"Only fif..."

"I know right?"

"Dang girl?"

"I know right?"

"Dat awesome!"

"Isn't though?"

"Dang!"

"I know right?"

"Just dang!"

"I know right?"

"DANG! Guuuuurl!"

Real people do not talk like the way characters in books, TV shows, or movies talk. No one even gives any one a chance to say a full sentence. Wow, could you imagine if a person actually sat down and waited the 30 seconds it takes for the other person to get to the end of their sentence? And yet, in books, movies, and TV a character can speak not only in full sentences, but other characters actual give them time to speak in full paragraphs!

I think, the best writing, is when an author blends the two. Lets a character get a full sentence out here and there, but also realistically moves the conversation along quickly with lots of broken fragments of (realistic) bad grammar. This allows the reader to zip through the dialogue quickly, without getting bored by long winded monologue, at the same time it isn't just meaningless banter that could be removed and not remove any story.

If you are having trouble keeping your readers, reading dialogue, most likely the issue is big words that are not common to everyday speech, monologues, and info dumps.

As a general rule, unless you are dealing with a character who speachifies (which is unusual and not likely to be encountered often), no one is ever going to say more then 2 sentences before the next person starts talking.

This is a case where I use "The Rule of 7"

The Rule of 7 states that, in real world conversations, the average person rarely uses more then 7 words per sentence and rarely uses words longer then 7 letters long. There was some sort of research study done, back in the 1980s or 1990s, which had determined this.

I don't remember who did the study or why, I just remember that when I read the report of the study, it inspired me to go and look at the conversations I was studying, to teach myself how to write dialogue and, they were right.

• Most people use short simple words under 7 letters long. 
• Most people use short sentences under 7 words long.
• If on a rare occasion a person gets the chance to say more then 1 sentence before being interrupted, they almost never make it longer then a 7th sentence before someone else jumps in to talk.

Why any of this is, I don't know. What I do know is that, for us as authors, the Rule of 7, helps us to write dialogue in a way that keeps our readers, reading.

• Never let your characters speak of sentences of more then 7 words.
• Never let your character speak with words more then 7 letters long.
• If a character starts monologuing or info dumping, have another character interrupt them on or before the 7th sentence.

Doing this will help keep your readers interested and moving forward because it keeps your characters' conversations flowing smoothly and fluidly.

Interesting, slightly on topic side note:

There have been several studies done by various universities, medical schools and psychiatric teams, whom have each come to a very interesting conclusion:

You can usually tell a person's IQ by how much and how often they talk.

• The more a person talks (words per day) the lower their IQ. 

1. (Leading to the speculation, that people with low IQs talk for the sake of doing so, and are not prone to deep thought processes.)

• People who spent 4 or more hours per day talking on a phone, had progressively lower IQs each year 

1. (leading to the speculation that they possible had brain damage caused by too much prolonged contact with the phone itself.)

• The people with the highest IQs were always people who were abnormally silent to the point of being near mute

1. (leading to the speculation that they are so busy thinking deep thoughts that they forget to speak.)

Out of the 8 billion people on the planet, only 2 million of them have an IQ of more then 130. Of those 2 million "smart" people, only 20,000 of them live in America.

Ironically 1 in 3 Americans (120 million people) have self diagnosed themselves as Aspies, stating the reason they self diagnosed themself as being because they had a "high IQ". A "high IQ" is an IQ of 135 of higher.

Only 20,000 Americans have an IQ over 130, yet there are 120 million Americans who claim to have an IQ of 135 or more. Meaning at least 119 million self-diagnosed Aspies, are lying through their teeth about both their IQ level and their diagnosis of having Autism.

Interestingly, while there are 120 million Americans claiming to be Autistic, since the 1800s there have only ever be 40,000 people WORLD WIDE diagnosed with Autism, which in spite of urban myths, still to this day, remains on of the rarest diseases out there.

Interestingly,

• no social worker can legally diagnose you with Autism.
• no school teacher can legally diagnose you with Autism.
• no family practitioner/doctor can legally diagnose you with Autism.
• no pediatrician can legally diagnose you with Autism.

• a diagnosis on Autism can only be given by a psychiatrist and it requires THREE psyciatrists to agree on the diagnosis
• a diagnosis of Autism is so serious, that once diagnosis is given, the child is immediately put into protective custody and the parents arrested for gross sexual child abuse

• Autism (Kanner's Syndrome, which is in no way related to Aspergers) is a psychosis caused by early childhood sexual abuse... it is similar to PTSD and is a type of Schizophrenia commonly referred to as "childhood schizophrenia)
• Autism is caused by one thing and one thing only: rape that happened when the child was under the age of 8

• when someone runs around saying "I'm a proud Autistic" what they are literally saying is "I was raped as a toddler and am proud of the psychosis it gave me!"
• when a mother calls herself a "proud Autistic mom" she is literally saying to the world: "My toddler was raped, isn't that the greatest thing you ever heard?"

• if her child had an ACTUAL Autism diagnosis by a team of three psychiatrists ACTUALLY LEGALLY able to give such a critical diagnosis - she'd be in jail for sexually abusing her infant and her child would be in foster care.

Know what Autism is, before you self diagnose yourself with it. There are a lot of wild myths, rumours, and conspiracies around Autism, being spread on social media by people with no medical training.

If you are an author seeking to write an Autistic character, there are some interesting legal facts you should be aware of that are not often mentioned in so-called "Autism Awareness" literature.

• Autism can not be legally diagnosed by a social worker, a psychologist, or a counselor because Autism is not a social or behavioral disorder.

• Autism can not be legally diagnosed by a teacher because they have no medical training.

• Autism can not be legally diagnosed by a family practitioner, pediatric, nurse, or other type of doctor, because Autism is not a disease or illness.

• By federal law a person MUST have a Ph.D in Psychiatric medicine, 12 years of special training, and be specifically trained in diagnosing early childhood gross sexual abuse.

• If a social worker, teacher, family practitioner, pediatrician, or other doctor gives your child a diagnosis of Autism, you have the right to legal sue them for medical malpractice because by federal law they are not qualified to make a diagnosis of Autism.

• There are fewer then 100 Psychiatrists on the planet who are legally trained in how to identify and diagnose Autism

• If your child is ACTUAL Autistic, your child's Psychiatrist will NOT tell you your child has Autism, because there is NO ILLNESS with the name "AUTISM"

• Autism is a slang layman's term for the psychosis that's actual name is Kanner's Syndrome.

• Kanner's Syndrome, is caused by a genetic mutation that appears in many people but lays dormant in them, and only because "activated" during the first 8 years of life, IF the child is subjected to extreme levels of abuse, neglect, and rape.

• To date, ACTUAL Autism has ONLY ever been diagnosed in survivors of child sex slave rings, feral children, children who grew up locked in basements with no access to light/warmth/or human contact, and children who were raised in extreme religious cults such as Jonestown or Heaven's Gate.

• 98% of all 40,000 children to be diagnosed with ACTUAL Autism, in the past 200 years, were ALSO diagnosed as feral children, and had no social skills because they had spent most f the first 2 to 3 decades of their life living in isolated forests or swamps without any human contact. They were mute and spoke in hisses and growls, because they knew how to talk with animals, but had never been taught to speak any Human language.

• To this day, true ACTUAL Autism, remains one of the rarest, and most difficult to get diagnosed, because the levels of extreme child abuse required to trigger this level of early childhood mental break down, are so inhuman and so extreme, that the average adult can't even comprehend it's ability to occur, let alone enact it on a child. 

• In every case of a child receiving an ACTUAL Autism diagnosis, they are removed from the custody of their parents and their parents immediately arrested.

• In every case of a child receiving an ACTUAL Autism diagnosis, it is found that one or more of the adults raising said child, suffered from advanced stages of Psychopathy, Sociopathy, Schizophrenia, Megalomania, and or Narcissistic Personality.

• Parents deviant enough to abuse a child to the extremes that they trigger the Autism psychosis, are considered by law, to be the worst, most monstrous, most vile, despicable Humans on the planet. They are seen as so low on the levels of lowest scum of the Earth, that they can not be put in regular prison cells with common murderers and serial killers, because they are usually beaten to death before the end of their first night in prison.

And yet, there are 120 million Americans proudly proclaiming to be self-diagnosed as Autistic...with the majority of them having no clue what ACTUAL Autism even is, and them being shocked and horrified when they are presented with ACTUAL facts about Autism, from ACTUAL Psychiatric handbooks, used by ACTUAL Psychiatrists when diagnosis, this horrifying mentally crippling psychosis.

A person who had a REAL diagnosis of ACTUAL Autism, is a person who has been so horribly traumatized by sexual assault during their early childhood years, that they are no longer able to function in society and are forced to live with phobias so nightmarish, that they make PTSD look like a dance through the tulips.

I know this is off topic to dialogue, but when you think about it, no, it isn't.

I bring it up, because of the recent trend of writing Autistic characters, by authors with no clue what Autism actualy is, how it is diagnoses, or what causes it.

They end up trying to write "Autistic dialogue" usually portraying an Autistic person as someone who is mentally retarded and incapable of intelligent speech, when in fact, someone with Autism can speak, but they are terrified to do so. One of the primary symptoms of Autism is Social Anxiety which manifests itself via Selective Mutism, Punding, and Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour. 

In situations where they are calm and relaxed they can talk o people they know and trust, with no difficulty, and often more coherently then a normal person. However, around strangers, in large crowds, in stressful situations, the synapsis in their brain which control speech, stop firing properly, and they become physically mute, incapable of speaking any words at all no matter how hard they try. If forced to remain in this situation for too long, they go into convulsive seizures, caused by not enough oxygen reaching their brain.

Portraying the dialogue of an Autistic person should not be done by any author who has not known someone who is ACTUALLY Autistic. While 1 in 3 people CLAIMS t be Autistic, only 40,000 people have ever been ACTUALLY diagnosed as Autistic in the last 200 years. ACTUAL Autism is extraordinarily rare and your chances of ever encountering an ACTUALLY Autistic person is 1 in 17 million.

Please keep in mind that Aspergers is NOT a type of Autism, and should NEVER be used interchangeably with the word Autism

Aspergers is one of the 60+ diseases, disorders, and illnesses known as an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

The term Autism Spectrum Disorder means an illness, allergy, disease, disorder, or psychosis that on first appearances LOOKS like Autism and may share many of the symptoms of Autism, could feasibly be misdiagnosed as Autism, but lacks the extreme levels of early childhood sexual assault which triggers the misfiring of the synapses, which cause Autism to occur.

Autism is essentially brain damage, caused by extreme levels of terror, that stopped proper oxygen flow to the brain, causing the death of brain cells, causing the synapsis to not hit each other when they fired, resulting in brain signals being made, but the message not being received by the nerves, resulting in the child knows what they need to do (talk, eat, walk, etc), but they can not get their brain to power their body into doing it.

An illness that is "On The Autism Spectrum" means the illness has 3 or more of the same symptoms as Autism.

In order to get a diagnosis of Autism, the doctors are required by federal laws to first rule out all of the 60+ illnesses on the following list:

And, like I said, all of this seems off topic, but, I have Autism.

I know what it is like to live with Autism.

I know what it is like to go through the grueling process of being interviewed 100+ questions about your early childhood sex life, by 3 different psychiatrists.

I know what it is like to survive horrific levels of child abuse extreme enough that doctors did what is almost the unthinkable and diagnosed me with Autism, a diagnosis that is not handed out lightly.

I know what it is like to next have to deal with a long line of police, FBI agents, lawyers, and courts, because Autism is THAT severe of a diagnosis, that on what few times it is gven, the doctors immediately alert not only the local police and the state police, but also the federal police aka the FBI.

I also know what it is like to "talk like an Autistic person" and live with selective mutism, to be raised with only bantams and feral cats for companionship and to be at the age of 31 years old, not able to speak any Human language but be able to speak bantam and cat fluently.

I was 37 years old before I learned to speak American English.

I wasn't able to talk, largly because no one saw fit to talk to me.

I was 31 years old the first time I was introduced to the concept that I was a Human. I was raised being told that I was a Demon and was not allowed to eat with the Humans, not allowed to sleep with the Humans.

The pictures of the room I was kept locked in the first 31 years of my life, sent shock waves through the social workers assigned to my case. You can see them on this page here.

I know ACTUAL Autism well, because I'm one of those rare few 40,000 people to ever receive that diagnosis. It sickens and disgusts me when I see self-diagnosed Aspies running around boasting the joys of Autism. If they knew what ACTUAL Autism was, they wouldn't be so proud to have it.

But I add this section to this page, because I'm deeply disturbed by the recent trend of supposedly "Autistic" characters in fiction... characters who grew up with loving parents, in happy homes, and clearly never suffered from any of the things which cause Autism.

Most Autistic characters in fiction are very clearly either characters who have Downs Syndrome or Asperger, which are both on the Autism Spectrum, because both share similar symptoms to Autism, but are on the Spectrum because neither is Autism, and people with Aspergers or Downs Syndrome re NOT actually Autistic.

I add this section to this page, in the hopes that authors who read this, will be more careful in the future, to get their facts straight, and to NOT believe everything they read on Wikipedia.

The Kanner's Syndrome page of Wikipedia, once upon a time was written by a psychiatrist train in dealing with Autism, but, that page was, about 5 years ago, re-written by teenagers with self-diagnosed Aspergers, and now only gives information about Aspergers and contains no information about Autism at all.

Sadly, finding any ACTUAL medical information about ACTUAL Autism (Kanner's Syndrome) on the internet is next to impossible. Largely due to the fact that while there are 40,000 Autistics total ever of all time, there are 120 million Aspies just in 2017 alone. Aspies are quick to spread misinformation about Autism far and wide on every social media, and yet most of them have never even heard the name Kanner's Syndrome before, and most, also can't tell you the symptoms or causes of Autism, when asked. 

It is my hope that at some point this thronging fad of Aspies running around falsely proclaiming to be Autistic will eventually get their heads out of their asses and actually do some REAL offline research using REAL medical books, and find out what Autism is and then stop misrepresenting us Autistics (and giving us a bad name... Aspies and their obnoxious habits, has resulted in the recent rend of "Autism" and "Autistic" being used as a hate slur for anyone who acts obnoxious.)

Until then, all I can do is hope that authors have enough sense to do their research and learn the truth about Autism vs Aspergers from actual medical handbooks used by psychiatrists, instead of running to proud Aspie mommy vlogs with there mercury and vaccine conspiracy theories.

Please, if you are reading this:

DON'T write an Autistic character unless they have ACTUAL Autism.

If the character has Aspergers, call it that. Don't fall into the urban myth trap of writing an Aspie character then saying they have Autism.

Autism is NOT Aspergers.

Aspergers is NOT Autism.

The dialogue of the two are vastly different.

Aspergers are talkative, but shy. There is not brain damage causing their speech issues which go away as they reach adulthood. As they become less shy, they recover their ability to speak.

Autistics suffer from damaged synapses in their brains and have physical inability to speak properly. You can not regrow dead brain cells. They will never recover their ability to speak "normally".

Someone with Aspergers speaks in a dull, droning, monologue ing, monotone, that is described as "robotic". It is very distinctive. They pause between each syllable, take a deep breath, and then say the next syllable. They often struggle with the pronunciation of the syllables and may get stuck on one repeating it.

They

...

talk

...

like

...

t...

t...

th...

th...

thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHARRRRRRRHHHHHH!

*punches self in face several times to force words to reset*

this!

...

THERE!

...

this

...

one

...

word

...

at 

...

a

...

time

...

with

...

a

...

a

...

a

...

a

...

A!

...

ARRRRRRRRH!

*punches self in face several times to force words to reset*

...

a

...

long

...

pause

...

be

...

tween

...

each

...

syl

...

a

...

ble

...

It

...

takes

...

them

...

well

...

o...

o...

OHHHH?

...

OH!

...

ov

...

er

...

t...

t...

t...

...

two

...

min

...

u...

...

utes

...

to

...

say

...

one

...

line

...

that

...

most

...

p...

p...

pe...

pe..

ha-ha! pee-pee! penis! pee-pee! penis! peepeepenispeepeepenispeepeepenis! woo-woo! I'm a train! hahahahaha! PENIS!

...

pe

...

o

...

ple

...

say

...

in

...

on

...

ly

...

10

...

sec

...

onds.

To write Asperger speech the way it actually is spoken, would be a horrifying thing for a reader to try to read.

Note, that ALL people with ACTUAL Aspergers, talk like this, and if you encounter a "self-diagnosed Aspie" who does NOT talk in that very distinctive one syllable at a time droning robot speak, sporadically interrupted by shouting out dicks and penises, then they DO NOT have Aspergers, no matter how much they swear up and down they do.

Please remember that while 1 in 3 Americans identify as a "self diagnosed Aspie" that more then 80% of them, when they stop being conspiracy theorists long enough to go to a doctor, receive an ACTUAL diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and NOT Aspergers.

An alarming 80% of so-called Aspies DO NOT speak in the distinctive robotic speech and this is because they DO NOT have Aspergers at all. This robotic speech pattern is in fact the PRIMARY symptom that doctors look for when making a diagnosis of Aspergers. If the person lacks this extremely distinctive way of speaking the doctor will cross Asperger's off the list and look at one of the 60+ other Autism Spectrum Disorders.

For an author wanting to write an Aspie character, and do so accurately, you would be dealing with writing one of the absolute worst possible dialogue speech patterns an author could attend to write, as Aspies do not speak in sentences. They do not even speak in words. They speak in syllables, with long pauses between each one.

To try to accurately portray the dialogue of someone with ACTUAL real, Aspergers, would be a daunting task for any author and an exercise in patients for any reader.

Interestingly, this unusual speech pattern goes away with age. By their late 20s to early 30s, they have learned to speak in what is known as "parroting" or "mimic talk" and will begin to speak in a near identical speech pattern of their favorite actor, right down to mimic accents.

If you want to write a character with Asperger's, and have them have a lot of dialogue, your best option is to have it be an older Aspie, one whom has moved past the robotic stage and has become doing the mimic stage as, they are able to fake more or less normal sounding dialogue by that point.

Like Aspies, Autistics also have a very distinctive speak pattern that stands out.

Autistics have a very childish, often high pitched, squeaky mouse-like voice. Some people when they hear it describe it as "Elf-like" or "fairy-like". Bigots who hate gay men, often refer to the Autistic voice as "the gay man's voice".

Because Autistics are nearly always asexual, rarely ever marry, usually wear pink, glitter, and capes, and walk with a distinctive "Autistic hop-skip dance step", many male Autistics, are inaccurately labeled as being "flamboyant gays" by people who don't know what either Autism or gay mean.

Gay men who have the "gay voice" are in fact Autistic, which is also why very few gay men actually have the "gay voice". It is also why gay men who have the "gay voice" are also extremely flamboyant.

However, more often then not, a flamboyant man with the "gay voice" is not gay at all, and only gets labeled as gay by bigoted gay-haters.

Autistic men ALWAYS have the "gay voice", which is in fact the "Autistic voice" and is caused by the previously mentioned dead brain cells which cause inaccurate firing of the synapses of the brain, which in turn causes the vocal cords to function differently then in normal, non-Autistic people, resulting in the air flow through the vocal cords flowing at a different rate, therefore resulting in a child-like, somewhat squeaky-mouse, high pitched voice.

Like the stiff, robotic Aspie speak, the sing-songy, bubbling, child-like Autistic speak, is unmistakable, and once you hear it, you will never forget it.

Since you've likely never heard it, let's now watch a video interview with an Autistic man in his late 40's. Listen and notice how he talks as though he were 3 years old. THIS is the Autistic voice...

You will notice, that like all other Autistics, he uses very short, simple words, speaks with a 1st grade vocabulary, barely communicates above a Kindergarten grade level of grammar, uses short sentences. Repeats words and phrases frequently. And has a child-lke bubblely giggle, that constantly interrupts ever sentence. 

These are all symptoms of Autism.

For you as an author, it becomes a challenge to write an Autistic character's dialogue accurately, because you have to force yourself to NOT use common everyday words and grammar, instead use Kindergarten words and grammar.

Also, do keep in mind that in order to be diagnoses as Autistic, you must have a LOW IQ of under 90.

One of the biggest urban myths (out right bold faced lies) self-diagnosed Aspies spread on social media about Autism, is the rumour that Autistics have a high IQ. 

When diagnosing a person with Autism, they are required to take a series of IQ test. If they get anything higher then a 90 they are deemed too high IQ to be Autistic.

MOST Autistics have an IQ of around 75, which is deemed "clinically retarded".

The rumour of a high IQ stems from those who are Autistic Savants. Meaning, they are retarded/low IQ in nearly everything, but have one single, solitary interest, skill, or hobby, that they excell in.

Liberace for example was Autistic Savant and could play piano by ear from the age of 3 years old. While he played piano on stage, around the world for millions... he could not read music notes, was nearly illiterate, struggled to read and write, could not do math or numbers, could only go shopping with the help of his very protective older brother George, never had a driver's license, required adult supervision and caretakers his entire life, was cared for by his brother George most of his life, and fell desperately ill after the death of his brother at which point he had made an attempt to live on his own without caretakers, and quickly succumbed to near starvation after going several weeks forgetting to feed himself.

Liberace was described by his closest friends and family as "an eternal child" who often said they envied his childlike inability to comprehend that bad things existed in the world. His ability to mentally comprehend subjects like wars was lacking. Because of his Autism, he retained into adulthood, the child-like innocence of trusting everyone, seeing the good in everything, and seeing the world as nothing more then a happy place to run around in sparkling capes while chasing butterflies.

If you want to write an Autistic character.... keep in mind the fact that, they are described by psychiatrists as:

1. Forever a 4 year old in an adult's body. 
2. No matter how old they get, they will never speak like an adult, 
3. never use big words, 
4. will always dance around on their toes like a small child, 
5. will forever play dress up, dancing around in capes and fairy wings even into adulthood, 
6. and have no concept of what it is like to think like or act like an adult. 
7. They use simple words and phrases and respond to everything with a childlike innocence of attitude and outlook. 
8. You can not speak with them as though they were adults, because no matter how old they get, they will never be adults. 
9. They have low IQs, usually around 75. 
10. Uses a kindergarten or 1st grade level vocabulary and grammar.
11. Are typically savant excelling on genius levels in one hobby, but never gaining even rudimentary skills in anything else. 
12. They require life long adult supervision and will never be able to live on their own without a caretaker. 
13. Their brains are not capable of functioning on adult levels.

These are all very important aspects to consider, when writing the dialogue of an autistic character.

When writing the dialogue of an ACTUALLY Autistic character, writing their actions as they talk, is an important part of conveying how they communicate. It is very necessary to include mentions of the fact that they are twirling around on tip-toe, and staring off into space giggling about the thought of purple unicorns pooping rainbows.

Alternately when they are frightened, they sit on the floor and scream, while hitting themself in the head, and trying to punch the terror out of their brain.

Remember, an Autistic adults body language and actions, speak louder then their limited words, and it is a very important part of writing an Autistic character's dialogue accurately....

Quaraun is an adult (Elf), the equivalent of a 45 year old man...

In conversations, Autistics use a lot of repeated phrases, especially "I don't know."

Talking to an Autistic adult is no different then taking to a 4 year old child. Their phraseology, logic, and reasoning ability are all on the same level of a toddler.

A typical conversation with an Autistic adult goes like this:

Please remember that ^^^THIS^^^ is how someone with real, ACTUAL Autism talks and writing their dialogue as though they were functioning on any sort of adult level, is automatically you portraying them inaccurately.

The movie Rainman, is actually the single most accurate fictional portrayal of an ACTUALLY Autistic adult, ever portrayed in a movie. The actor in preparing for the part, went to group homes and mental health institutes to interview, study, and get to know the speech patterns and habits of ACTUAL Autistic adults, resulting in his alarmingly accurate portrayal of being an adult with Autism, even though he himself did not have it.

If you don't have access to meeting a ACTUALLY Autistic person in person, your best alternative is to watch Rain Man...

Everywhere I turn there's a new book misusing yet another mental illness. I hate how characters act normal until all a sudden a plot changes requires them to "act crazy" so suddenly they are acting crazy, then the plot device over and they act normal again.

Mental illness ain't like that, you can't turn it on and off whenever the plot needs it. 

Writers rarely get it right. And I would like to see that changed.

Dialogue is a good place to start.

Someone with Autism does NOT talk like a normal person. Their dialogue is different. Noticeably so. But it's also easy to get it very wrong and it may just be better is authors DID NOT have Autistic characters in their books at all, because portraying a disorder inaccurately, can have very damaging effects on people with that disorder later on.

Additionally someone with Autism, rarely is able to do math, can not buy things or use money or credit cards because they have no functioning ability to understand how money works. Dialogue can be a good way to show this in action, especially when the dialogue is broken up with actions...

If you want to write an ACTUALLY Autistic character, study the life of an ACTUALLY Autistic person. How they dress, how they act, how they talk, how they think. 

Liberace is the perfect example of a very typical Autistic adult.

Liberace at 68 years old, during his final performance, a few weeks before his death... wearing his infamous "pink peacock" cape.

This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

All Rights Reserved.

Note: there are likely spelling errors on this site, and I am unlikely to see the ... I fix them when I find them, but, there are many issues here...

Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.

Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.

For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:

American English to Scottish:

a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "

a long distance from = A piece fae

a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "

about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks

accomplishments = kunnandi

After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "

alive (living) = kvikr

Always on the move = Never aff o da go

am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"

are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"

autumn = dah haihst

belong to = fylgja

best = bettah moost

betray (verb) = svíkja

bewildered = villhyggjandi

building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "

built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."

cast a spell = hoodooed

cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"

child = bairn

church = kirk

color = colour

danger = hœttr

daren't = darena

daring = djarfr

dark = dökk

dark elf = Dökkálfr

dark-elves = Døkkálfar

darker = dökká

do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"

do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"

each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "

educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "

elf = Alfr

Elf = Álfr

Elf Home = Álfheimr

Elf World = Álfheimr

elf-advice = Ælfred

elf-beautiful = ælfscyne

elf-friend = Ælfwine

elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru

elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard

elf-powerful = Ælfric

everyday = ivvryday

eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"

fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."

feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."

further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."

green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."

handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "

have faith = trúa

Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis

Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.

have not = ain't

He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.

He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.

Head for = Mak wye for

head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak

head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie

horse fly = klegsie

I = Me

I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "

I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)

idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."

idiot = numpty

if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "

I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye

know = ken

looked = lokid

looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."

magic = hoodoo

naked = nøkkviðr

needle = bodkin

neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "

No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "

Nobody knew = not-knew nobody

Noontide = Da heicht o da day

NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"

NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."

old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "

orange = o'jinn

out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."

outside = oot dair

people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "

people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."

poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "

Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "

shield = skjoldr

Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "

tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "

the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"

them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"

there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."

they = dey

To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."

understand = understonde

understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "

very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"

Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"

Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "

For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people:  https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf  

The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf 

More information about our language can be found on this website:  https://www.iheardee.com  which is written in my native language.

However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.

My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.

It is a very great struggle.

At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.

Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.

I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.

Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.

Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.

If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.

However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.

My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.

While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.

As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.

I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.

Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.

As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.

have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.

I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.

I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".

It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"

The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.

The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.

While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.

Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻

Wheelchair Fundraiser

@eelkat i just found out there is yet another bizarre rumour going around. where are these wild rumours coming from? who is starting them? and why? ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

@eelkat since I've been flooded with hundreds of messages the past two weeks asking if I still own "the world's most haunted car", yes, and here it is, filmed today May 18, 2026… but my son Xavier is dead, i am crippled and given that people are AGAIN showing up calling my Dodge "haunted", calling my friend "an alien", calling me "transgender", and spreading wild defamation slander connecting me to Stephen King, I think I need to start taking down the contact information of every blogger, podcaster, youtuber, and social media account spreading these rumors, and sue every single one of them for CAUSING my car to be cut in half May 10, 2010, for CAUSING the backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013, for CAUSING my son's murder November 14, 2013, for CAUSING me to be crippled and in a wheelchair November 14, 2013, and for CONTINUING to CAUSE harassers to show up in person to harass me near daily, STILL now in 2026. EVERYONE telling you my car is haunted, telling you my friend is an alien, calling my car "the goldeneagle", calling my friend "Etiole", or trying to connect me or my car to Stephen King, is lying to you. They crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, and a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet identified the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club and the FBI believes that it is friends and family of the woman who did it, are the ones who started and spread the rumors saying my car is haunted, saying I'm an alien abductee, saying all kinds of similar bs about aliens, ufos, ghosts, witchcraft, demons, and Stephen King connections, even though I don't believe in ghosts, aliens, ufos, demons, and had never heard of Stephen King before 30k of his fans showed up in my yard trying to find my car! FBI believes the backhoe driver and the murderer are the same person and it is a developer who wanted my land and so started the Stephen King, ghost, and alien rumors all in an attempt to drive me off my land, and when it didn't work they drove a backhoe over my house, and when that didn't work they crippled me and killed my son. Why are they doing this? How do I get them to stop? ♬ original sound - Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author

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Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....

... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.

While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.

My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since.

The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground

On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.

She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.

The attack also triggered labour.

My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.

Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.

The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.

The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.

Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.

Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.

Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.

Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.

The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.

Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.

Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.

Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.

In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.

Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.

But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.

I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.

Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.

Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.

I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.

My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.

Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.

Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.

More information about the backhoe attack, my son's murder, my becoming crippled, my becoming homeless, and the FBI investigation around all of it, can be found here.

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All the writing prompts found here on my website, are also available in printed paperback editions, on Amazon.

There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.

The Park Bench Method of Writing 100+ Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts for NaNoWriMo & NovNov 2025 Finding Your Character’s Goal Through Mundane Moments (Character Creation & Development - NaNoWriMo & NovNov 2025) --with 500+ Writing Prompts! 30 Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts - June 2025 - 30 Day Edition 30 Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts, Queer Throuples/Polycules Slice of Life Edition 30 "TRUE COZY" Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts 🫖 30 More Cozy Fantasy Writing Prompts - June 2025 Writing Character Driven Flash Fiction for NaNoWriMo & NovNov 2025 -with 90 Cozy Fantasy Slice of Life Writing Prompts A shit ton load of daily writing prompts and writing dares to use for National Novel Writing Month, 2025 edition! For the people who had been asking where to find them, the Print Paperback editions of the writing prompts found on my website are available HERE. What's New (Newly Published or Recently Updated or Edited) NaNoWriMo (Now NovNov) Annual October Prep - 2026 Edition (22 years!) Oct 23, 26 03:51 PM NaNoWriMo (Now NovNov) Annual October Prep - 2026 Edition (22 years!) Read More Currency in a zombie apocalypse or The economy of Vesonta Oct 23, 26 12:03 PM Currency in a zombie apocalypse or How does the economy of Vesonta work? or Do the UnSeelie Court use money? Read More What makes a wizard a wizard? Oct 22, 26 04:42 PM What makes a wizard a wizard? Character Creation and Worldbuilding lore Read More Vampires - a look at Vampirism in The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane Oct 21, 26 11:50 AM Vampires - a look at Vampirism in The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane/The Pink Necromancer series Read More Is Quaraun gay? | Quaraun FAQs Oct 14, 26 02:59 PM Is Quaraun gay? Is The Pink Necromancer transgender? | Answering readers FAQs about Quaraun the Insane Read More Wendy C Allen: Old Orchard Beach & Biddeford Maine Dark Fantasy Author Oct 10, 26 05:58 AM Official Home Page Of Wendy C Allen: Old Orchard Beach & Biddeford, Maine's Autistic Artist, Doll Designer, Art Car Builder, and Dark Fantasy MPreg Author Read More How Did The FBI Get Involved? Oct 05, 26 10:46 PM How Did The FBI Get Involved? Read More But is it Omega Verse? Sep 30, 26 11:11 PM Readers have suggested my Quaraun series is Omegaverse... let's find out if it is or not Read More Who is Tod Murphy? (updated for Christmas Eve attack 2025) Sep 27, 26 10:49 PM Who is Tod Murphy? (updated for Christmas Eve attack 2025) Read More Phookas Sep 25, 26 02:46 PM Everything you could ever want to know about phookas Read More ChatGPT Command Prompts For Fantasy Writers Sep 16, 26 04:27 PM Asking ChatGPT To Create Its Own Command Prompts For Fantasy Writers Read More The Egg Question: A Pink Necromancer Short Story Aug 06, 26 08:42 PM After a long day of killing Humans, The UnSeelie Court's pregnant mage contemplates why having sex with the Dragon King does not result in laying Dragon Eggs. Read More Fish, Eels, Storyland, Autism, Becoming a Published Author, Art Cars Jul 30, 26 09:16 AM Fish, Eels, Storyland, Autism, Becoming a Published Author, and Art Cars; a long and varied conversation with ChatGPT5.6 Read More The Cat at the Sea Cave Jul 29, 26 10:02 AM A Pink Necromancer story poem Read More My Elves Are JellyFish Jul 13, 26 01:38 PM My Elves Are JellyFish, and I asked for thoughts from Google vs ChatGPT Read More The Three-Seventeen Pee Expedition Jun 16, 26 02:33 PM The Three-Seventeen Pee Expedition: A Pink Necromancer Short Story Read More Why I Write (Some Thoughts on Living With Autism) Jun 10, 26 10:45 AM Why I Write (Some Thoughts on Living With Autism) and a look at the history of 144 and 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine Read More How Much Money Do Self-Published Authors Make Jun 08, 26 08:26 PM A Look at How Much Money A Million Books Sold Is Equal To - How Much Money Do Self-Published Authors Make Read More 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine, FBI Murder Investigation Jun 08, 26 08:20 PM 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine, FBI Murder Investigation; How Did The FBI Get Involved? Read More The Quaraun Series Prologue May 20, 26 03:11 PM The Quaraun Series Prologue Read More An Introduction to The Pink Necromancer Series May 17, 26 04:47 PM An Introduction to The Pink Necromancer Series: The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane Read More No, Disabled People Do Not Exist To Inspire You May 14, 26 11:01 PM Yes, it is offensive to write disabled characters to act as inspiration to others. or how to write disabled characters accurately Read More Murder Investigation Updates, Old Orchard Beach, Maine May 11, 26 12:25 PM Murder Investigation Updates, Old Orchard Beach, Maine Read More The FBI murder investigation 144 & 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach May 06, 26 07:05 PM The FBI murder investigation of 144 & 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine - Everything we are allowed to publically release Read More Thoughts on Reborn Therapy Dolls After My Son's Murder Apr 15, 26 06:29 AM My 8 month old son was murdered; Thoughts on Reborn Therapy Dolls After My Son's Murder Read More Addressing victim blaming in murder investigations Mar 13, 26 09:40 PM Addressing victim blaming in murder investigations Read More The Tussah Day Serenade Feb 16, 26 07:44 AM The Tussah Day Serenade, a fiction short story poem - LGBTQAI+ FICTION | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane | TransMan MC | Read More Ghosts Beneath the Pink Silk Tent Feb 11, 26 05:11 AM Ghosts Beneath the Pink Silk Tent Read More An Existential Crisis Feb 11, 26 05:09 AM An Existential Crisis 🌸{A Pink Necromancer Triple Drabble} 🦄🌸 Read More The Moon Goddess Laughs From The Rooftops Feb 11, 26 05:05 AM The Moon Goddess Laughs From The Rooftops Read More 10 Years of Injustice: Tackling Radical Church Extremism Feb 11, 26 04:29 AM 10 Years of Injustice: Tackling Radical Church Extremism Read More Don't Be A Stalker Feb 10, 26 09:14 PM Don't be a stalker Read More IMPORTANT NOTE: All the writing prompts found here on my website, are also available in printed paperback editions, on Amazon. There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website. January February 2026 Updates If you are one of (as of December 2025, the now more than ten thousand) daily visitors, who arrive here daily in search of SEO advice, I made this page for you: My response to the alarming spike in traffic to my "SEO" pages. aka I am getting Weird Spike In Google Traffic For SEO & Content Writing & Marketing keywords and search terms even though this is a Yaoi and Gay Romance website that has absolutely nothing to do with SEO or Content Writing or Content Marketing What the fuck? The Park Bench Method of Writing Receiving death threats over a septic tank and a little brown log cabin, but I own neither a septic tank nor a little brown log cabin... what even are these thugs talking about? I am a mute/none verbal wheelchair user and I just had an encounter over my wheelchair, but being mute had no way to defend myself. Crazy Woman Just Attacked - No Clue Why or Who She Is (August 14, 2025) Articles For Writers on How To Write & Publish A Rapid Release  Series Want to write like I do? You want this page: Writing Mindset Shift & Lester Dent vs Kishotenketsu w/Thoughts on Being one of Dr. Lindstrom's 200 PenPal Students (NaNoWriMo & NovNov 2025) plus Polyamory Beyond Fetish: Writing Multi-Partner Relationships and Writing Blind Characters Plus Elves and Very High, High Elves  VS Unicorns and Phookas and Demons and also What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?) but Noses, Penis Piercings, And Rapunzel Hair and Need Help Defeating Overpowered Fantasy Wizards? + Wizards and More Wizards and Even More Wizards and Still More wizards and MAKE VILLAINS EVIL AGAIN: A WRITER’S BATTLE CRY TO RECLAIM THE DARK SIDE Have you ever considered: How Things In Your Life Affect Your Writing or Currency In Worldbuilding and The Dangers of World Travel or  Dragging a Body Through The Snow and Talking While Falling Asleep or Worldbuilding MoonQuakes and Disabled Characters for Fantasy Writers or I have everything but the kitchen sink... wait, how'd that kitchen sink get in my pocket? Writing Absurdist Fantasy Books but How long does it take to reach 1667 words? and 50k in one day - is it possible? plus What is the average typing speed? plus What (self-publishing) platform pays the most (for books)? My top 3 picks. Comparing my results from different places. and Knowing what to include when describing the surroundings of a scene also Validation Is a Cult and Open Strong, Stay Loud and  Where are the writers who love writing? plus Self-Publishing Success: Does Anyone Ever Succeed at Self-Publishing? and Where To Get Writing Ideas? and Writing What You Know Might Not Be What You Think It Is and Why I do not attend writing groups...are they all like this or just the ones in Maine? but also Don't Forget To Just Write  because Yes, You Can! Plus The Park Bench Method of Writing (with 10k writing prompt list) or The Park Bench Method of Writing (just the article) plus: How did you build your audience? Not online, that's for sure. aka How to sell ten million books aka How I sold ten million books. Need Writing Prompts? For Anyone Looking for: The "haunted car" people call The GoldenEagle & my response to Stephen King's illegally filming my family and farm in his movies? My response to MUFON's Amphibious Aliens? My response to Coast to Coast AMs Arrival in my yard? Back to the Home Page Wendy Christine Allen, Old Orchard Beach's Autistic Author, Artist, Illustrator, & Art Car Designer Counting Down to the 2028 50th Anniversary of my first published book (September 23, 1978) Yes, I am aware there are a lot of spelling errors on this site. No, I likely will not be fixing most of them. I have been quadriplegia/paralyzed arms and legs since November 14, 2013; As of 2026, I have regained use of two fully functional fingers on my right hand, and only stiff limited movement of all remained eight fingers. This causes most of the typos and spelling errors as my near-dead pinky and ring fingers tend to drag over the other letters on the keyboard. Attempts to correct errors, often causes more errors for the same reason. Much of my writing is also speech to text, but I have "profound low functioning, non-verbal kanner's syndrome aka autism aka the rainman type" (that is what the medical diagnosis called it), I have the medically diagnosed retarded type of autism, that medical doctors mean when they say "real and actual autism", I do not have the cool trend self diagnoses tiktok type of "autism". What this means is, in spite of five decades of trying, I have very limited vocal speaking abilities and a lower then average vocabulary, that leaves my speaking ability around the level of a 4 or 5 year old child; I do not know math or money or clocks and. I also, was raised by a Shetland Scottish Grandmother (Helen Ricker Allen) until her death when I was 8 years old, and she did not speak American, she spoke Shetland/Scottish, Shetlandic, which is a Nordic language, different from Scotts Language, not related to Gaelic which is what many Scottish speak, and while classified as a type of Scottish English is is considered "Olde medieval Norse" dialect of Scottish English and spoken by fewer then two thousand people as of 2026. It is the language of Scottish Travelling Gypsies, which is what we racial are. I was 31 years old first time I ever heard American English, and only started to learn American English at 42 years old. Right now in 2026 at 51 years old, I am able to speak American English on around the level of an 8 year old child, and greatly do not understand over 90% of American words, American slang, and American media references. What this means is, OFTEN words you think are spellt wrong (like color vs colour, or traveling vs travelling, are in fact NOT spelt wrong, because I use Scottish spellings) and often when I hear an American word, I spell it phonetically because I do not know the correct American spelling. Likewise we Scottish do not have words like my or your, and so say me and you, in places where Americans would say my and your.  I also use Scottish word meanings, not American word meanings, for example Unicorn means a blood thirsty flesheating shapeshifting sea creature that comes on land and pretends to be a wounded horse to lure in humans to eat, it can only be captured by a virgin. But when I say Unicorn, a word I frequently use, because I write Unicorn folkloric short stories... I find that most Americans connect Unicorns to children's cartoons, gay pride, or swinging sex lives... I struggle to understand who in their right mind thought the most bloodthirsty monster of Scotland folklore was good fodder for children's cartoons or "sex positive" mascots, me thinks Americans need to brush up on the lore of Unicorns using their horns as sword to stabbed people's eyes out, while gallopping through swamps with rows of bloody Human heads hanging from their backs via braids made of Human entrails... really, why did Americans thinks a monster like a Unicorn was fit for children's cartoons or sex positivity? Americans is weird. All this to say... speech to text software, struggles badly with my thick Shetland accent, my slurred Autism speech impediment, and causes additional misspellings and typos because it can not figure out what words I am trying to say. And while I could take the time time to run all of it through a spell checker, that does require better hand mobility then I have, to copy the text from one program to the next and manually click each word, with finger mobility that I simply do not have, but also, most of my time is spent in trying to relearn to walk, and if you are local, you've probably seen this as I'm a stubborn bitch who refused to accept the doctor disnosis that I will never walk again, so, I walk around the block every day pushing my wheelchair, refusing to sit in my wheelchair, and... ...it's taking me 13 years to do it, but, I'm not actually able to stand up and make it all the way around the block now, and my focus on trying to relearn to walk is far more important to me, then catering to your pampered arse by fixing spelling errors, when there are far bigger problems to worry about in life, the spelling errors made by a quadriplegic who is typing this with her only two functioning fingers. Also, in recent years, I've watched the internet devolve into a mindless clusterfuck of ChatGPT written everything. Everyone sounds the same online these days, because no writes their own work anymore. Every website out there has become a carbon copy of each other, because they are all be written by ChatGPT now. I think ChatGPT makes a funny thing to chat with in your spare time, so you can laugh at the hilarity of how inaccurate it's responses are... but I am horrified that people are using AI for serious writing, writing they publish and try to pass off as their own. We live in a society where people people are forgetting how write. Heck I can read and write cursive, calligraphy, italic, short hand, and editor's marks, also edit my books by hand diagraming every sentence, and that... start walking around your neighbourhood and ask anyone under 30 if they sentence diagraming IS, let alone how to do it. So yes, I CAN spell check, and no I don't, for anything but my novels and short story collections, I spell check when it matters... and this is a website, not a printed book... but also, I am just getting so damn fucking fed up with endless AI writing online, so, no, I'm not going to fix errors and typos on my website, and you can bitch about that all you want (yes, I do get your messages, I just don't answer anyone in private) but, honey, maybe instead of bitching over my spelling errors, be thankful is still at least one website on the internet that still being written by a Human now in 2026 when ChatGPT writes over 70% of all posts online.

Looking for my annual NaNoWriMo Prompts and Dares? I've been publishing these every year since 2004! Here's,for my 26th year, a shit ton load of daily writing prompts and writing dares to use for National Novel Writing Month, 2025 edition! The Park Bench Method of Writing The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane: Paperpacks & Hardcover Editions on Amazon: Not sure what the series is about?  Check out  The Quaraun Series Prologue and Faeries vs Elves (In The Quaraun Series) A Pink Necromancer World Lore Post and Worldbuilding MoonQuakes and Disabled Characters for Fantasy Writers and How well do I know Quaraun? - Let's find out! to find out more about the plot and lore of the series. Not sure which story to start with? These here are good places to start, to get a good introduction to the three main characters: Absinthe Slushies: An Ode to Frozen Green Fairy Wine Bone Dice BoomFuzzy's Chowder Dilemma The Cellar's Forgotten Treasure Chaos in The Lighthouse - Shattered Panes, Shattered Minds The Cliff-Side Temple Control or Protection? A Dark and Stormy Night Drying Herbs Excited For The New Baby Five Ways To Save Money in Las Vegas The Golden Dragon Keys Herons in the Dunes If your ass ain’t freezing or your brains ain’t scrambled, you’re ain’t really trying Kiss Me Fuckin' Arse - Just Another Day in the Ice-Laced Ruins of The GodForsaken City Lens and Light Maintenance Macaroni and Cheese: A Creamy Pasta Dish Drenched in Melted Cheese, Often Topped with Breadcrumbs- It's Never That Easy A Map Worth More Than Gold The Morning After a Night of Teaching Wizards To Gather Magic With Cards Necromancer of the Parched Sands in the Desert of Diona Necromancy-A Day in the Life of a Bumbling Necromancer-Again Nightmare Nook Paddlewheel Maintenance The Phooka's Dragon School The Red Hakama Springtime by the River Spirit-Walk Slippers Sticky Rice, Bare Fingers, and Slippery Chopsticks The Sweet and Sour of Lemons The Terror Bird 3 Perspectives on an Apple The Valuable Mystery of the Talking Saloon Door and How We Nearly Got Shot Over Stale Tacos Vendetta over Vittles A Very Important Clump of Grass Wagers and Wiles in the Godforsaken City The Washer Woman & The Fae Weather Forecasting Stones You Never Know What Info You Might Pick Up in the Afterlife aka Quaraun's Near Death Experience (A NDE Fiction) Or if after reading those, you still are looking for more free to read stories, there are over three thousand of them on this site, too many to list here, but here a few dozen to get you started... ...you can just jump in and try reading some of the free to read online stories first before committing to buying the books: Abyssal Addlepated: Stupid and Confused All the roads are gone Alone Ancient Coin Hoard Unearthed Angry Ocean Waves at Sunset The Arrival The Art of Destroying a Human Village for Fun and Profit At the High Priest's Altar Back At The Tavern and Still No Shrimp The Bandits and the Pink Necromancer The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death The Beacon Room at the Top of the Black Tower Lighthouse The Beauty of a Silk Moth Hatching The Beginning of the End Bellicose: Warlike! Aggressive! Hostile! Beneath a crimson sky, the silk weaver wove pink silk. Beneath Malevolent Stars The Black Sock, Again Blizzard The Boat Fiasco The Book Burning Maggots, a You Can't Spell Hatred Without Red Hats BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House from Hell The Brownies & The Witch, or Why Faeries Don’t Wear Socks The Bumbling Pursuit of The Pink Necromancer Candied Nightmares The Candle Con in Ember Hollow The Candy Corn Unicorn Captured By The Lich Lord The Cast Iron Frying Pan Cattail Pollen Spaghetti with Wild "Oregano" A Chilly Light Drizzle Becomes Snowfall on the Shore Chocolate Bliss Chocolate in the Neon Shadows Christmas in 40th Century Dystopia Christmas With The Krampus Family The City of Death Clam Digging in the Rain The Clock Ticks Away Clotheslines, Games, and the Village Code Ghosts Comet Fall Snow Day Blitz Conundrum in the Bazaar Corsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries Crabapples in the Rain Cranberry Muffins The Crooked Dice The Crows Are Restless Crullers and Curses at Midnight The Curse of the Liquid Gold The Cursed Mirror Dangerous Tides {A Pink Necromancer Drabble Dozen, featuring Etiole} Dark Damp Basement A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest Deadly Shores of Noodle Beach The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness The Demonic Music Box Desolate Nostalgia on a Frozen Shoreline The Diamond Forest in the Bio Dome The Disbelief of Humans Discovering A Floating Castle Dismal Day at the Street Market The Doors' Dark Secret - A Wedding In A Zombie Apocalypse Dreams of Purple Pearls The Drunk Moon Elf Echoes of the Glass Forest Echoes of the Unseen An Eclipse in the Faerie Glen An Eclipse Looms Tonight An Eerie Discovery Eerie Symbols in the Snow The Egg That Was Not an Egg The Elf With Crippled Hands Ember Enable The Enchanted Map Encountering ghostly apparitions in the swamp Evil Eggplants Stalking Outside Evil McEvil of The Twirly Moustache Existential Crisis Perspectives - 3 Perspectives on an Existential Crisis Exploring the Swamp's Forgotten River A Fall in the River A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond 15 Drabbles About Being Transgender The First Flicker of Dawn Fishing in the Rain Five Ways To Save Money in Las Vegas Fizzy and Frigid A Flapdoodle Wizard’s Duel Fleeced for Fizz Fog & Peach Melba Toast After Last Night's Rain Footprints In The Sand Forest Kings and Their Antler Crowns The Fragrant Smoke of Flavoured Herbs Freshly Baked Sugar Cookies The Frilly Nest of Panic A Garden of Pink Chrysanthemums Get your hands off my dress! GhoulSpawn & The Cultists GhoulSpawn Said The Moon Don’t Laugh GhoulSpawn's Toasted Marshmallow Magic A Glass of Fresh Milk Gloom Blob of Doom: The Dreadful Dripping of the Doom Blob of Gloom Glumpish, Grumpy, Sullen, Gloomy Golden Field, Pink Glories The Golden Mask The Graveyard That Ate the Living The Great UnSeelie Court Swindlers He Always Comes Back Heirloom Tomatoes Help! He's trying to feed me! The Herd Approaches The Howl on Silent Moor How to Create a Literary Empire with Just Your Bum Poems How To Kill a Lich How to Hijack a Human Supply Train Without Getting Shot How to Overthrow an Entire Settlement Without So Much as Lifting a Finger I Need To Feel Safe Ignoramus — An Utterly Ignorant Crowd of Humans IkuTursu's Cursed Depths of the Swamp Where Pine Boughs Whisper Incandescent Shadows Over Driftwood Bay The Infected Survivor Inner Fortitude Insidious Love Invigorating Cool Air Iron Hooves and Burning Roads, Krampus on Wheels The Ivory Tower of Greed The Jar of Pickled Toes Jibber Jabber Ramblings by the Fire The Jolly Red Lich King Journey Through the Zombie-Infested Swamp on the Blue Monkey Judgement An Ode To The Lunatics Preaching The Rapture of September'25 Kelim and The Necromancer: Finding Finderu Kelim Meets Quaraun The Insane Lanterns Over the Faerie Glen Leaving Your Bed Messy Isn't Exactly the Apocalypse The Leprechaun of The Deep North A Lich's Lament For a Mortal Lover Growing Old A Lich's Reflections On Escaping The Swamp of Death The Lich's True Form Revealed The Lighthouse’s Glass-Eyed Horror The Lighthouse Keeper The Lighthouse That Leapt, Space Dock 13's First Jump Through Space The Long Road The Loot Tree Lord of the Hive Lost In The Forest of No Return-Trying To Find Directions The Lost Library and The Snowglobe The Lotus' Silent Prayer on the Sandy Shoreline Lover's Triangle Make tea and go for a rainy forest walk Maple Cotton Candy Served as a Topping on Vanilla Ice Cream A Market Day Disaster Market Day Weekend - Three Days In The Life of The Pink Necromancer Marsh Serenity Reflection Mayonnaise Meeting Mallac Melt, Ya Safe With Me The MerMan's Wrath Milkweed Meadow Mint, Madness, and Motor Parts The Mischief of the Purple Unicorn Misplaced Utensils and the Cascade of Confusion Monsters & Mayhem: How Black Tower Became Pink (8+ Parts) The Moon and The Drowned The Moon Goddess Laughs From The Rooftops The Moon That Hungers The Moon and The Mirror Morning Sickness at The Shattered Stein (TW: MPreg Yaoi) A Mysterious Door No Goldfish, Today? No Place for Birth The Noodle of Power Not Little Red Riding Hood Obsessive Love-Dangerous Love An Ode to My Shattered Sanity Ominous One River In Three Perspectives Open Grave An Ordinary Day A Path of Twisted Trees A Peaceful Night on the Tundra The Peaceful Shores of Noodle Beach Phantom Tides Pickling Perfection Pickles, Panic, & Permafrost The Picnic Pink Marabou Trimmed Rainbow Leg Warmers, a Purple Feathered Black Leather Codpiece, and an Emerald Green Overly Fluffy Scarf The Pink Necromancer's Deceitful Carpet Weave Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies Pliable Clay on the Potter's Wheel Pocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders Finderu Preparations for the Street Market of the GodForsaken City Psychotic Dead Things Quaraun's Beauty Makeovers Quaraun's Candle Business Quaraun's Irritable Day Quaraun and The Wandering Turtle City Quarreling Over the Last Slice of Pizza A Quiet Day on The Blue Monkey The Quiet Evening in the Pink Silk Tent A Quiet Evening In The Rain A Quiet Night on The River A Quiet Place To Sweep A Quiet, Relaxing Foot Rub The Rain-Drenched Alley Raining Cats & Dogs Readers vs Readers, What Really Makes a Reader, a Reader? Remove! The Return of ZooLock The River Boat Man-Woman The Sacred Pink Secret (TW: Mpreg Yaoi) Safety and Emergency System Activated. Please Being Calm Santa's Floating Dead Body Santa's Letter To Satan The Screaming Contest The Seagull Sea Slugs and Clam Chowder Bread Bowls Secret Meeting Hidden Behind Closed Doors Shadows on the Clam Flats Shipyard at Dusk The Silence of the Unseen Silks in the Snow The Singing Crabgrass Crabs — A Green Fairy Wine Tale A Sinister-Looking Stone Well Six Days Earlier The Snake's Prophecy of Doom Upon The Fractured Moon A Solitary Black Sock Spinning Dreams in Silk The Soul Eater Spacious Space Spooky Scary Skeletons - A Graveyard Waltz Stillness in the Garden's Chaos Stone Cakes for the Road Survival Preppers Of The Zombie Apocalypse The Swamp of Death The Tavern in the Faraway Town The Temple City of The Green Goddess, Where Every Street Has a Name The Terrifying Cliffs of Noodle Beach, featuring Etiole That Afternoon When Quaraun Got Stuck In a Crab Trap That Big Bad Darkness in His Heart A Threatening Letter Too Busy Cooking Lemon Tarts Toobe's Well-Prompted Apocalypse (A ChatBot Plans Global Domination) The Trade Caravan A Tumble In The River The Vacuous Tavern Fool Waiter, There's A Head In My Soup Wandering Merchant: The Trader’s Cryptic Goods (Part 2 of ShipYard At Dusk) What I Wish I Knew Before Not Becoming an Astrophysicist When a Government Tries to Cover Its Crimes Why the Sea is Salt A Winter Wizard Wishing For Lobster Rolls-Never Make Wishes In The Presence of Wizards WORMS! Wrath of the Sacred Pink JellyFish Yelling at the Snowstorm You've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman You trust that nonsense over a map? Zombies Are Not the Worst Thing Here {TW: Love fucking wins} Zwodder: A Drowsy Stupid State of Mind Hmmm... soooo... I was making the above list to ALL the links to EVERY Quaraun story published on my website here, and adding it into the footer of my site, here as you can see, which loads on every page, and then I realized... wait... there are over two thousand Pink Necromancer stories up free to read on my website, I can't put two thousand links on every single page! Whoops! LOL! So, now I'm putting list to ALL the links to EVERY Quaraun story published on my website here on this page instead and just link that page to the footer instead. But also I'll just leave some of the links in the footer, as you can see above. FacebookXPinterestTumblrRedditWhatsApp ShareFacebookXPinterestTumblrRedditWhatsApp The Park Bench Method of Writing

The Park Bench Method of Writing

IMPORTANT NOTE:

All the writing prompts found here on my website, are also available in printed paperback editions, on Amazon.

There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.

Want even more writing prompts?

If anyone contacts you saying 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, is for sale, know that they are lying to you... it is my land, and it has been in my family since 1531... and the ONLY person whom has EVER gone around saying it is for sale, is a woman who the FBI believes to be the same woman who murdered my son.

My son is buried here, and the FBI believes she is trying to buy my land in order to destroy his grave and destroy evidence of his murder.

Since my son's murder November 14, 2013, every year dozens of real estate agent show up all with a story of a female developer who is offering them MILLIONS of dollars for my lot of land that is only 1/4 of an acre and is not big enough to develop.

When shown police sketches of my son's murderer, the real estate agents say "Yes, that's the woman who hired me to buy 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine", but then the woman disappears and the real estate agents never hear from her again... all contact information she gave them turns out to be fake.

The woman who murdered my son, is DESPERATELY trying to buy 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine... this is the woman to watch out for... and this is what she did:

Looking to find out more about my son's murder, that information is on these pages:

• How did the FBI get involved?

• Never Forget my son was murdered

• Do you know who this woman is? And no 146 Portland Ave is not for sale.

• Thoughts on Reborn Therapy Dolls After My Son's Murder

Answering the questions:
Can you give me links to the news reports of your son's murder? 
and
Why can't I find any news reports about this?

Maine has well over a thousand murder cases that have never been in the news.

I found this out after my son was murdered November 2013, and a year later I found out it had never been in the news, even though I was hounded for weeks by news people. I went to each of the over a dozen TV stations and newspapers whom had showed up at the hospital and asked why they had never published any report after all the trouble they had gone through to (in some cases illegally) het into the hospital to interview me.

in every case they said some version of "well, it just wasn't news worthy, there was nothing we could use to get views". Really? These were big news stations, channel 13, 6, 8, Portland Press Herald, Bangor Daily...

What exactly was it they claimed was "not news worthy"?

I'll tell you.

On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. At Southern Maine Community College in the parking lot of The Buglight Art Studio beside the Spring Point Lighthouse.

I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.

She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.

The attack also triggered labour.

My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.

Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.

The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.

The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.

Oh yeah, and I've been quadriplegic for 13 years.

oh yeah one more thing, same trio, they also found out where i lived in Old Orchard Beach and drove a backhoe over my house as well.

146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine... July 4, 2013 vs August 8, 2013

I have been homeless and quadriplegic for 13 years, and right now it's just a few weeks away from both my son's 14th birthday and the 14th anniversary of the day he was murdered, both of which happened the same day.

Explain to me what about any of that is "not newsworthy"?

I did find out WHY it was deemed not newsworthy. "it would negatively impact tourism" was their reason. The College at Fort Prebble is a tourist destination. The lighthouse at the college is a tourist destination. My house on Portland ave is situated on the primary road to the beach that is a tourist destination.

The news reporters explained to me that, they risked losing their jobs if they publicised "negative news" occurring in these sorts of tourist destination spots.

My son's murder wasn't in the news, because it might cause tourists to stop visiting that lighthouse. That was the reason the reporters gave me.

How often are there things not being reported on just so businesses don't lose tourist money?

How often does this happen? A lot, I've since found out. In trying to find other mothers of murdered children to interact with... I found five others JUST in Old Orchard Beach, whom the murders were not in the news, and all of them happened after my son's murder. I found 2 such mothers in Scarbourogh, their children's murders not in the news. I found over a dozen more in the Bar Harbore area, also all not in the news.

It's a very disturbing trend here in Maine, one that I never would have found out about had my own son not been murdered.

One thing's very clear: in Maine you can get away with murdering a child, if you do it in a big tourist location, because news stations REFUSE to report any crime occurring in tourist locations.

Fuck torists.

I don't give a shit about your precious tourist money.

My son was murdered and I want his killer found... and I am VERY displeased with the deplorable way news stations try to bury child murders in Maine, just to appease tourist funded businesses.

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This website is a safe zone for LGBTQAI+, pagans, and BIOPIC communities.

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