EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?


Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 

Becoming A Better Writer:
How to write interesting dialogue.

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 How to write interesting dialogue

How to write interesting dialogue (more specific). from writing

I keep a recorder running all day long. Records everything I say to anyone, everything they say to me, and picks up conversations of whoever is around (such as when shopping, etc.)

I take those and have a speech to text program type it up for me.

Then I read it and pay attention to how conversations flow.

I started doing this back in the 1990s.

You know what I noticed?*

  • No one... absolutely no one finishes a sentence.
  • Everyone jumps in to interrupt everyone else talking.
  • No one speaks in sentences, everyone speaks in fragments.
  • Everyone uses horrific grammar, is that not right, no?
  • You can tell what country, state, city, even what side of town a person is from by the nuances, slang, idioms, dialects, etc in their speech.

For example, you know a person is from the Northdam Mill District of Biddeford, when joyfully greet you thusly:

"Hey! Yo bro! Fuck you ya damned bleeding bastard! How ya fucking, ya bastard out of damned fucking hell, ain't see ya fucking cock sucking hyde in like fucking forever, man. Damn. I'm mean bloody, just damn fucking forever! Where the fuck have ya been all these years, ya mother fucking cunt sucker? We gotta get together and fuck so ass again. Hey, it's been great seeing yar fucking shit around these parts. Stop by again. Don't be such a cock sucker."


"Hey! Yo bro! Good to see you! How ya doing, ain't seen you all week. Where were you last week?We gotta get together and hang out at Homer's Bar. Hey, it's been great seeing you. Stop by again. Don't stay away so long."

I don't think any one in Biddeford knows that the word fuck is the French word that means "to have sex". In Biddeford "get fucked" means "get drunk" while "fucking forever" means "last week" and "mother fucking cunt sucker" means "old buddy/pal of mine" aka "my best friend" and "your fucking shit" means "you" or "your body" and it's a compliment to be told "you looking like fucking shit today!" which means "damn you look good today!" "Don't be a cock sucker" means "come back soon".

In case you were wondering, Unicorn is from Northdam District of Biddeford, Maine, and he talks just like that. Unicorn's mouth is the reason the series is rated M18.

Interestingly, you can see the children of this district of Biddeford, talking exactly the same way. Toddlers 5 and 6 years old, greet each other on the school yards with: "Hey buddy! Fuck you man!" which means "Hello"

Biddeford is a fascinating city, if you ever want to study strange insectuous lifestyles of Maine's most infamous mill town. The city which is proud of it's Guinness World Record Plaque which says it has the most incest relationships of any town in the world, at a rate of 73% of its 26,000 residents, with the majority of couples being siblings to each other.

  • people talk in gibberish to each other and understand fully what the meaning was because... uhm... like... yeah... you know... just... it's like... when he said... you know that thing he said when he did the thing you was like yeah, but I was like woe and she was like what the .... but then she said... you know what she said... and you thought it was funny and I was like all yeah, you remember right?
  • no one uses anyone else's name... it's all "Hey Bro!" "Bro!" Dude!" "Yo man!" "What up!" "Digging man!" "Yo bro!" You'd think everyone on the planet was named Bro or Dude.
  • People rarely speak directly, rarely saying what they actually mean unless they are pushed to do so. They are more likely to speak in metaphors, euphemisms, slang terms, and rhetorics, rather than say bluntly what they mean.

  • People rarely answer the question they were asked, instead answer the question they want to answer, often not realizing they are not answering the question asked, because they jumped to conclusions about what the asker meant. They say what it was they wanted to say, in the form of an answer, even though it is not the answer at all and is a different topic entirely.
  • People tell stories and use examples as a way to explain what they mean. If they want to talk about Event A and what it will be like, they share memories of Event B and what it was like as a way to point out Event A will be similar.
  • If something bad happened to person A, person B, C, and D, will each share a story of a time they had a similar bad event happen to them, in a sort of empathy bonding type of conversation to say: "I know this hurts because it hurt when it happened to me". Most people do this as a way to show they care, but sometimes it is mistaken as being trying to "one up" the person, and can lead to misunderstandings and arguments.

  • People love their nonsense contractions ain't that'er right'll? You's know's it is.
  • Unless they are Scottish, Welsh, or Irish, then they use no contractions and spell out every word and often add extra, because you can not no do better then if you would not go and say out every word.

  • People answer in one word or less. "Yep." "Uh-huh". "Maybe." "Really?" "No!" 
  • Unless they are Scottish, Welsh, or Irish, then they use every word they can think of and go very much wicked far out of their way to ad as many of them there extra words as they possibly can to them there sentences because why use one word to describe that new fangled wicked sick new store down yonder dere on that there road when you can use every word in the dictionary all at once in one single solitary sentence that rambles on forever and ever and ever.

  • Odd and awkward phrasing is a feature of speech. 
  • Regional dialects or characters whose first language is not English, are going to speak differently. 
  • ESL character often do not use "a", "an", or "the", and reverse words like "is" and "are". 
  • If they think they said it correctly but are uncertain they end by asking "yes?" 
  • or if they think they said it incorrectly they end with asking "no?"...
  • English is one of the few languages that does not assign gender to words; ESL people often have trouble with this and because English has no equivalent for the gender based descriptive words found in most other languages, thus ESL speakers often add "he" or "she" to inanimate objects.
  • They often can not remember the correct English words to use and use their native language words instead.
  • They often reverse pronouns.
  • They may use phrases that come out entirely odd.