SpaceDock 13 is now EelKat.com

EelKat Wendy Christine Allen
Author, Artist, & Art Car Designer
 

How to say my name?

Eel + Cat = EelKat












The Dazzling Razzberry
aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car


By EelKat Wendy C Allen

My daily driver is a 1992 Volvo 240GL with 2.5million beads, buttons, marbles, rhinestones, gemstones, flocked teddy bears, and charm animals glued to it.

Top Ten first things People say when seeing
The Dazzling Razzberry:

#1: How long did it take to do this?

I started it May 12, 2012 and I add things to it every day. So, as of today, July 7, 2015, I've been doing this for 3 years.


#2: What do you keep it on with?/What Kind of glue do you use?

I use a RV/Marine epoxy glue called Amazing Goop.


#3: How do you wash it?

This question baffled me for the first few years, because... how do you wash ANY car? I finally started asking people why they were so confused over how I could wash it and they explained to me a thing they called a 'car wash". Apparently there exists machines that you drive a car through and it automatically washes your car for you or something to that effect. and these people had never heard of washing your car with a bucket of wash and a chamois cloth. 

By hand. Yes, I wash it by hand. It takes about 3 days to wash it before a car show.


#4: You really need to get a job, you lazy bum.

I always ask these people who say this one, why they say it. They always answer with: "if you had a job you wouldn't have time to do this." 

Interestingly, in addition to being a full-time author (writing and editing 36 to 80 hours a week), I also works 26 hours a week as a Retail Merchandiser for Hallmark, where I cover 6 stores including 2 WalMarts. AND I'm an Inventory Taker for RGIS, AND I'm a seasonal temp for Macy's AND I'm a double major in college doing 5 classes per semester. 

I find this to be the strangest reaction to my car. These people obviously do not take into consideration how much it costs to do something like this to a car. Believe me, someone without a job, would not be able to afford to glue 2.5 million marbles to their car. 

Marbles sell for about $5 for a bag of a dozen marbles, and there are 2.5 million of them on my car.  

I started buying mine bulk from the dealers at a rate of $1 per 100 marbles, and there are 2.5 million of them on my car. 

I eventually found a place where I could buy them bulk by the pound,  because it took 2.5 million of them to cover my car. 

A tube of glue costs $2.49 at WalMart. The cheapest I can find it. One tube will glue about 40 to 50 marbles, and I've glued 2.5million marbles to my car.

The car undergoes weekly maintenance. I have a private mechanic. I have Autism and am sort of keyed into being "at one" with my cars. I pick up on every new sound and smell. I have countless phobias a very OCD mental issues in regards to safety. I will not get in a car (even as a passenger in someone else's car) until my mechanic has gone over the car and said it is safe to drive.

I have several cars and my mechanic goes over each of them 2 or 3 times a week. I am his ONLY client and his full time job is now simply to keep my cars maintained and running.

Someone without a job, can not afford to use a car like this for a daily driver, due to the extreme weight added to the car, causing extreme stress on the car.

I find this assumption that only someone without a job could do something like this to a car, to be baffling. Quite the contrary is true. Only someone with multiple jobs bringing in quite a lot of money could afford to do something like this to their daily driver.


#5: How much did it cost to do this?

So far, the cost of materials has reached $8,000 and as this project is only 1/3 done, it is estimated to reach $24,000 by the time it is finished. 

That estimate is ONLY counting the cost of paint, glue, beads, rhinestones, and marbles. It does not include cost of gas, repairs, and maintenance, which averages about $500 a month.


#6: How long have you had it?

8 years. I bought it for $900 on December 16, 2006


#7: It says Autism Awareness. Does someone in your family have Autism?

Yes. Me. I have Savant Schizotypal Autism, an IQ of 210, and I require caretakers and "adult supervision" even though I am in my 40s. Most things "normal" people can do on their own (like brush their hair, talk vocally with their mouth, and cross the street, I can not do.)


#8: What are you? Are you like a Hippie or something?

No. Gypsy. Scottish Gypsy. We are the Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, the carneval Gypsies that Stephen King based the book and movie Thinner off of, which is why they filmed the movie on our land.


#9: Your car makes me so happy. Can I hug you?

Quick hugs, yes. but men who grope me are gonna get kicked in the balls. 

Yes, men do use my car as an excuse.


#10: Can I hire you to do this to my car?

Yes, if you can afford it. The materials alone are going to cost around $25,000 to $30,000 and then you'll have to consider the time (years) it takes to do this and add $25,000 for labour. I charge $50,000 to do this to your car. Cash, up front.


#11: What is it?/ What kind of car is under all that junk?

It's a 1992 Volvo GL240


#13: How many miles you got on it?

It'll go over 300,000 in a few weeks.



Pictures of the Work In Progress:

Dazzling Razzberry in 2012Dazzling Razzberry in 2012

The Razzberry and Me Hanging Out With Team BigFoot in 2012

The Dazzling Razzberry 2 in front of George Ricker House @ 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 2007

The Dazzling Razzberry in front of George Ricker House

@ 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine July 2013

Vandalism of George Ricker House @ 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine August 9, 2013

Now all 3 buildings on our land have been run over by this EXACT SAME TRACTOR!

Where I lived before living in my car

My little black Volvo.

Plain, simple, undecorated.

Not a bead or rhinestone in sight. 


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Below is a list of the ACTUAL, REAL, OFFICIAL online accounts owned and managed by me:

on Amazon:  ► http://www.amazon.com/author/eelkat

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Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here:   http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun 

Interviews about the Quaraun series: 

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Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.  

If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.

~EK 

Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums.

NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.

Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.

If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".

More information about Kendra Silvermander and what she did can be found here.

➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or Agent Andy Drewer of the Portland FBI @ 207-774-9322 ◀️ ◀️ ◀️ ☎️

Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker in prison.

Need Directions?

Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:


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And, in case you missed the notice at the top and felt the need to make a fool of yourself in my inbox, here's the notice again, longer this time.

We Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, are Scottish & this site therefore uses our Native Scottish English. We are no Americans, so please do no expect to find American English here.

For example spellings like "travelling" or "colour", pronoun differences "me" for "my" or "you" for "your" might look unfamiliar to you. They are in fact correct in our language. 

Yes, I do receive you many emails pointing out what you believe to be typos and spelling errors. No, I do no respond to your American arrogance in thinking nothing other then the American language exists or your ignorance to the existence of languages other then you own. You do have a brain; I highly recommend you try using it. You might find you actually enjoy it.

I does no ask of you to speak to me in me own language, so do no ask of me to speak to you in yous language, for just as you does no know me language existed, I do no know how to use you language, though, I did have enough brain to know it existed and not berate you for using you own native tongue. I can'na say as much for thems that thought to bitch at me in emails.