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SpaceDock 13 is now EelKat.com

EelKat Wendy Christine Allen
Author, Artist, & Art Car Designer
 

How to say my name?

Eel + Cat = EelKat












The Dazzling Razzberry
aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car


By EelKat Wendy C Allen

My daily driver is a 1992 Volvo 240GL with 2.5million beads, buttons, marbles, rhinestones, gemstones, flocked teddy bears, and charm animals glued to it.

Top Ten first things People say when seeing
The Dazzling Razzberry:

#1: How long did it take to do this?

I started it May 12, 2012 and I add things to it every day. So, as of today, July 7, 2015, I've been doing this for 3 years.


#2: What do you keep it on with?/What Kind of glue do you use?

I use a RV/Marine epoxy glue called Amazing Goop.


#3: How do you wash it?

This question baffled me for the first few years, because... how do you wash ANY car? I finally started asking people why they were so confused over how I could wash it and they explained to me a thing they called a 'car wash". Apparently there exists machines that you drive a car through and it automatically washes your car for you or something to that effect. and these people had never heard of washing your car with a bucket of wash and a chamois cloth. 

By hand. Yes, I wash it by hand. It takes about 3 days to wash it before a car show.


#4: You really need to get a job, you lazy bum.

I always ask these people who say this one, why they say it. They always answer with: "if you had a job you wouldn't have time to do this." 

Interestingly, in addition to being a full-time author (writing and editing 36 to 80 hours a week), I also works 26 hours a week as a Retail Merchandiser for Hallmark, where I cover 6 stores including 2 WalMarts. AND I'm an Inventory Taker for RGIS, AND I'm a seasonal temp for Macy's AND I'm a double major in college doing 5 classes per semester. 

I find this to be the strangest reaction to my car. These people obviously do not take into consideration how much it costs to do something like this to a car. Believe me, someone without a job, would not be able to afford to glue 2.5 million marbles to their car. 

Marbles sell for about $5 for a bag of a dozen marbles, and there are 2.5 million of them on my car.  

I started buying mine bulk from the dealers at a rate of $1 per 100 marbles, and there are 2.5 million of them on my car. 

I eventually found a place where I could buy them bulk by the pound,  because it took 2.5 million of them to cover my car. 

A tube of glue costs $2.49 at WalMart. The cheapest I can find it. One tube will glue about 40 to 50 marbles, and I've glued 2.5million marbles to my car.

The car undergoes weekly maintenance. I have a private mechanic. I have Autism and am sort of keyed into being "at one" with my cars. I pick up on every new sound and smell. I have countless phobias a very OCD mental issues in regards to safety. I will not get in a car (even as a passenger in someone else's car) until my mechanic has gone over the car and said it is safe to drive.

I have several cars and my mechanic goes over each of them 2 or 3 times a week. I am his ONLY client and his full time job is now simply to keep my cars maintained and running.

Someone without a job, can not afford to use a car like this for a daily driver, due to the extreme weight added to the car, causing extreme stress on the car.

I find this assumption that only someone without a job could do something like this to a car, to be baffling. Quite the contrary is true. Only someone with multiple jobs bringing in quite a lot of money could afford to do something like this to their daily driver.


#5: How much did it cost to do this?

So far, the cost of materials has reached $8,000 and as this project is only 1/3 done, it is estimated to reach $24,000 by the time it is finished. 

That estimate is ONLY counting the cost of paint, glue, beads, rhinestones, and marbles. It does not include cost of gas, repairs, and maintenance, which averages about $500 a month.


#6: How long have you had it?

8 years. I bought it for $900 on December 16, 2006


#7: It says Autism Awareness. Does someone in your family have Autism?

Yes. Me. I have Savant Schizotypal Autism, an IQ of 210, and I require caretakers and "adult supervision" even though I am in my 40s. Most things "normal" people can do on their own (like brush their hair, talk vocally with their mouth, and cross the street, I can not do.)


#8: What are you? Are you like a Hippie or something?

No. Gypsy. Scottish Gypsy. We are the Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, the carneval Gypsies that Stephen King based the book and movie Thinner off of, which is why they filmed the movie on our land.


#9: Your car makes me so happy. Can I hug you?

Quick hugs, yes. but men who grope me are gonna get kicked in the balls. 

Yes, men do use my car as an excuse.


#10: Can I hire you to do this to my car?

Yes, if you can afford it. The materials alone are going to cost around $25,000 to $30,000 and then you'll have to consider the time (years) it takes to do this and add $25,000 for labour. I charge $50,000 to do this to your car. Cash, up front.


#11: What is it?/ What kind of car is under all that junk?

It's a 1992 Volvo GL240


#13: How many miles you got on it?

It'll go over 300,000 in a few weeks.



Pictures of the Work In Progress:

Dazzling Razzberry in 2012Dazzling Razzberry in 2012

The Razzberry and Me Hanging Out With Team BigFoot in 2012

The Dazzling Razzberry 2 in front of George Ricker House @ 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 2007

The Dazzling Razzberry in front of George Ricker House

@ 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine July 2013

Vandalism of George Ricker House @ 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine August 9, 2013

Now all 3 buildings on our land have been run over by this EXACT SAME TRACTOR!

Where I lived before living in my car

My little black Volvo.

Plain, simple, undecorated.

Not a bead or rhinestone in sight. 


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Looking To Connect With the REAL EelKat?

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Below is a list of the ACTUAL, REAL, OFFICIAL online accounts owned and managed by me:

on Amazon:  ► http://www.amazon.com/author/eelkat

on FaceBook - Profile:  ► http://www.facebook.com/EelKat

on FaceBook - Fan Page:  ► https://www.facebook.com/EelKatWendyCAllen

on FaceBook - Writer's Group:  ► https://www.facebook.com/ShortStoryWriters

on Google+:  ► https://plus.google.com/+EelKat/posts/p/pub

's Home Page:  ► http://www.EelKat.com

on Instagram:  ► https://www.instagram.com/eelkat

on Itch.io:  ► https://eelkat.itch.io

on MySpace:  ► https://www.MySpace.com/eelkat

on Pinterest:  ► https://www.pinterest.com/eelkat

on Spoonflower:  ► http://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/eelkat

on Steam:  ► http://steamcommunity.com/id/eelkat

on Tumblr: ► http://eelkat.tumblr.com

on Twitter:   ► https://twitter.com/EelKat

on YouTube - Subscribe Today! ► https://www.youtube.com/user/EelKat

on Zazzle:  ► http://www.zazzle.com/eelkat

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Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here:   http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun 

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Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.  

If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.

~EK 


Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums, most were created by a woman calling herself Kendra Silvermander, or her backhoe driving cousin who drove a backhoe over my house, the same woman and her family who cut the heads off my cats, are the same people who hacked my online accounts, created a slew of fake accounts and pretended to be me, after they beat me up on November 14, 2013, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months, relearning to walk for 18 months, and clueless to their impersonation of my online due to my life threatening crippled state that had me offline from November 2013 to March 2016.

Who they are and why they are doing this remains unknown. If you know the identity of these people, please contact the FBI in charge of the investigation into their murder attempts on my life:

Agent Andy Drewer

of the Portland FBI

@ 207-774-9322 

NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.

Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.

If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".

More information about Kendra Silvermander and what she did can be found here.

Let's think about something here...

I'm just a harmless old lady who likes to dress like and Elf and paint everything pink and write stories about Elves having sex with Unicorns. For THAT, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, call me crazy, build a bomb, blow up my house, stand in my drive way and shoot at me, kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, I was paralyzed for 5 months because they trespassed up in here and beat me up, 3 years later I finally recover and start walking again and they beat me up again this time with a shopping cart rupturing 3 discs in my spine while screaming "kill or be killed remember Saco Shaw's!" and they cut my car in half. I'm sorry, WHO exactly is the crazy person here? 

Yes, I wear pink ball gowns every day.

Yes I wear fake pointy ears and long white Rapunzel wigs.

Yes, I paint my cars, my motorhome, and my mailbox pink.

Yes, I write about Elves having sex with Unicorns.

So the fucking hell what?

I haven't set foot off my land in 40 years. The only time I have contact with people is when THEY trespass on my yard and invade my privacy. And you know what? I've always welcomed them with happy smiles and open arms, made them meals and served them tea, and spent the day happily chatting with any one and every one who wanted to visit me. I love it when you people stop by to visit me as it's the only time I have any one to talk to other then my cats... oh wait... I don't have ANYONE to talk to any more, now that sociopath freaks murdered them and nailed their heads to my door!

You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who built a bomb and blew up my house!

You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the violent trespassers who stands in my drive way and shoot at me.

You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, and cut my car in half.

I mean REALLY stand back and look around.

All I'm doing is wearing strange cloths. I'm not the violent animal abusing, bomb building, psychopath beating up elderly women... THEY are.

There's a hell of a big difference between a half blind elderly woman dressing up as comic book characters and not bothering one damned person, and violent psychopathic criminal creeps beating her up, bombing her house, driving a back hoe over 3 more of her houses, cutting her car in half, filling her motorhome with feces, murdering her horse, and slaughtering her cats!

Old Orchard Beach has a crazy person in it all right, but isn't me... and the residents of this town need to get off their asses and tell the FBI who this white haired man and his blond wife and red haired sister-in-law are BEFORE THEY KILL ME! The red haired woman calls herself Kendra Silvermander.

I don't know who this man and his two women are. They are strangers to me. I don't know their names. And I don't know why they are doing this. Some body in this town must know who these people are ... PLEASE... the FBI is trying to put a stop to these insane hate crimes... PLEASE if you know who these psychopathic monsters are, PLEASE tell Agent Andy Drewer before they kill me. They cut my car in half in 2010. They cut my cats in half in 2015. How long do you think it'll be before they cut ME in half too? PLEASE HELP ME!

➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or

Agent Andy Drewer

of the Portland FBI

@ 207-774-9322 

 ◀️ ◀️ ◀️ ☎️

Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker family in prison.

Have Information?
Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322 





Need Directions?

Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:


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