EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

UPDATE March 17, 2021: Another death. Waiting for a coffin to be delivered. Funeral the 21st. Unlikely to be streaming for a few weeks.


Update: March 27, 2021: It's not even been a week since the funeral, and now there is another death and another funeral.


UPDATE April 5, 2021: There are still no streams, as, we've now a another (a 3rd) funeral to prepare for.

And that is now 3 deaths in our family, in the past 2 weeks.

This 3rd death hits hard, because it was Pippi.

Our family has now had 13 deaths since March 2020.

April 10, 2015, 12 children were kidnapped.

May 15, 2015, the heads of 10 of them were nailed to my door.

August 24, 2020, one was found still alive. he was just 4 years old when she was kidnapped, but she remembered us, even though 5 years had passed.

August 25, 2020, Pippi came home, but her condition was not well. She had been tortured the entirety of the 5 years she had been held hostage. She was missing limbs and covered with scars, had broken bones many years not set, and suffered serious damage to many of her internal organs. That she was alive at all, in her condition, was a miracle. Doctors had little hope of her survival and she was sent home with Hospice care.

Pippi had cancer in her eye and needed surgery for it, which she was scheduled to have, shortly before she was kidnapped.

In the years they had her, not only did they torture her, but her cancer went untreated and spread to her brain.

By the time she was returned to us, her cancer had reached an inoperable state, so we knew she did not have much time left.

Had her cancer been treated, back when she was a toddler, she probably would have reach adulthood.

She died only 8 months after her return.

Another child, to cry out from the grave, for Etiole's vengeance upon her murderers. Another victim of evil men, who will stoop to no ends, to bury the crimes they committed 50 years ago.  Drug lords. Opium growers. Heroine dealers. Selling little girls 4 to 8 years old for sex to priests. They only care about money.

All hail the mighty tourist ass. Millions come to Old Orchard Beach every year, for one thing and one thing only: heroine. They sell their drugs to the tourists under the pier and off the balconies of that giant motel. Than drag little girls to the bedrooms of the condominiums on Smithwheel Road, behind the school. And any child who dares open their mouth and beg for help, gets tossed in the GooseFare Brooke Ravine.

Bastard drug lords. They've been doing this for 50 years, and the town hall and the police department, turn a blind eye to it, because they get paid $6million a year to not report it to the newspapers, when the body of another child washes down the ravine, into the gulley to be spit out in the ocean. No fewer than 5 bodies are found every summer, but how often does it get in the news?

The corruption of this fucking town needs to end.

Yet another dead at the hands of these criminals who run our town.

How long will the residents continue to turn a blind eye to what is happening in our town.

How many more children will you let them kill, before you stand up to them?

Another child is dead and no one in this town cares. So long as they get their money from the tourists. The blood of another murdered child screams from the graves, begging for justice. Tick tock, tick tock, so begins, yet another of Etiole's 7 year clocks.

This is why there were no/to few streams from May 2020 until now.

May 2020, after 4 years of not hearing from them at all, the FBI returned with a lead, which led to Pip's discovery a few weeks later in August.

Because of the nature of the situation, I could not talk about it, to tell you why streams had stopped.

The kidnappers, were enraged that we had recovered Pip, and that is when the attacks started up again on my home and family September 2020.

Pip's condition continued to grow worse, and she died April 5, 2021.

She was only 10 years old.

This is what it means, to not be white in America.

White men, won't even give a child the chance to grow up.

This is what white people do, to none white families like mine.

We are Gypsies with Jewish blood, for that alone we are hunted like animals.

What the men of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, did to my family, will never be forgotten or forgiven.

#If you have any information on the kidnappers or the murders...

#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

Have you forgot the extent of the damage these people did, all because, they wanted to dig up my land and removed bodies buried there, before my house builders found that barrel of bones?

Have you forgotten that 7 town hall workers, 5 public works men, a blond woman, her bald son, and her red haired sister Kendra, and 14 police officers, all lead by a man they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" were the ones 

I name every one of them, except for the ring leaders: blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name". I don't know who those 4 are. I'd never seen any of them, other than the Kendra woman before, and I only knew her fro her attacks beating me up at Panera in 2009, 2010, and 2013.

I can name every one of the others, because all I have to do is go to the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police department website, and their are their faces.

With the exception of blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name", every one else involved was government official who works for the state of Maine vis the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, the Old Orchard Beach Police Department, or the Old Orchard Beach Public Works.

And what exactly did they do?

August 8, 2013 they drove a backhoe over my house. That same backhoe drove over my previous house on the same land April 2007. That same backhoe drove over my poultry barn and horse stables July 2001. July 2001 was the first attack.

March 2015 was the the massive attack, with an entire fleet of trucks, and drove over the Church of the Holy Rhinstone, a church that stood on my land, my garage which is why I no longer have a garage to put my car in, my 2 sheds both of which had my tractors and other garden/crop machinery in them at the time. And of course the razing of the land, the cutting down of the apple orchard - the VERY apple orchard planted in 1530 that this town was named after... he actual "old orchard" of Old Orchard Beach... the very original trees - huge massive apple trees over 400 years old. The grape vineyards, the cherry trees, the pears trees. 

April 10, 2015, they returned, 4 police officer held me a gun point, while 10 other police officers held my children down with long poles with metal wire strangle loops on the end, and beat their faces in with cinder block bricks, knocking out every one of their teeth, breaking their jaws... POLICE OFFICERS DID THAT... while men they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" and "Dan" stood there and told the police officers what to do, how to beat them, while "Mark who needs no last name" boldly bragged that he paid the Old Orchard Beach police $6million dollars to do this.

May 15, 2015... the heads, hands, feet, and intestines of my children were nailed to my door. Later that same day police officer W. W. came to my home begging for forgiveness and claimed that men he referred to only as "Mark and Dan" were holding his beloved mother-in-law hostage and torturing her, and he helped in the April 10, 2015 attack, only to save her life and get her back. He claimed he had no prior knowledge of what was going to happen, claiming that he'd been told they were only going to "scare" us. He said he had not expected anyone to get hurt, he had not known my children would be tortured and kidnapped, he had not known they were going to be murdered. He said he was scared for his life and lives of his family. And he said: "They form a small army, our department doesn't have enough man power to stop them, and every one in this town is too scared to fight back. You don't know what's going on. And I think they mixed you up with someone else. They didn't know you were the owner of this land. They didn't know that was your motorhome. They thought someone else owned this place. It wasn't even your family they were after. You were the wrong target. You don't know who these people are. What they've done to our families. This is the actual Mafia. The real deal. I'm so sorry. This is the address they sent us to. But they had a different name as the owner. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were after someone else. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let my family died. And now yours is dead instead. This wasn't supposed to happen."

June 19, 2016... I did a very specific livestream. You see... A., D., B., and T. in the 1970s and 1980s, were in the habit of dragging big black trash bags into the forest, crossing my land to do it, and dumping those bags into the Goosefare Brook Ravine. In 1983, 3 snuck into Etiole's swamp and planted 3 acres of Marijuana. Someone found it and called the police, I don't know who... it was Maine's largest drug raid for decades. Many, many millions in plants where dug up and removed from Etiole's swamp. A few weeks later A, & D,s 10 year old daughter ran into my yard, touched my car on a dare from other children - the 1964 Dodge 330 former Old Orchard Beach police car, known by Stephen King fans as the REAL Christine, The World's Most Haunted Car... than jumped her bike, and sped down the road, as fast as she could, head on into a car coming the other way. She died instantly, he brain shattered all over the end of my driveway, and her mother A responded by the Battle of 458 - the biggest mass shooting ever in Maine history, that ended up with 3 Gypsy clans and 2 police departments, in a shoot out between 70+ adults all armed with guns. One of my cousins, an 8 year old boy, standing 3 feet from me, had his eye shot out by one of the bullets. While A ran around the street screaming: "FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

THOSE are the 31 children, whose bones were sawed up and tossed into the GooseFare Brook Ravine... yes, that DOES mean, police officers KNEW those children were there and covered it up.  And I witnessed that entire event.

And THAT is WHY... when police officers murdered my family in 2015, I did a livestream, walking to the ravine, to show the world, where those bones were... because I'm sick and tired of the police corruption in this fucking town, and those sawed up bones of 31 children are PROOF of what this town government is like.... as are the heads of my children that were nailed to my door.

At the end of The Battle of 4-5-8... A. took 2 gas cans and poured them all over the big dome house, than set a match to it, and no one knew, why when she did her brother B., started running, jumped in his robin egg blue truck and backed down the driveway, hit Portland Ave doing 70 and didn't stop driving until the high speed chase caught him in CT... oh but we knew before he was out of sight, why he started running... the dome house went up like Hiroshima into a mushroom cloud that could be seen across the entire state... turns out there was a Meth lab in that house.

June 19, 2016... the livestream of the bones went viral, it's what made my YouTube channel suddenly explode overnight... and police officer W.W. upset, by the fact that, the livestream included the entire police call and response, and that response was to laugh and do nothing... fed up with the corruption in his department, he forwarded that livestream VOD to the FBI, and the FBI arrived in Old Orchard Beach, to dig up the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, and all hell broke lose in this town, as most of the police officers suddenly found themselves arrested. An entire new police force from out of state was brought in to replace the long time officers who had proven they could be trusted to uphold the law. Many town hall officials and public works employees also found themselves arrested by the FBI.

June 26, 2016... barely a week later... the blond woman and the red haired Kendra woman showed up at my workplace, Scarborough WalMart, and tried to kill me, yet again... these are the same 2 woman who attacked me with golf clubs at Southern Maine Community College November 14, 2013... they left dead in 2013, I was paralized for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. I was out of the wheel chair, and I was without a walker, I was without a cane. I had almost fully covered from their November 14, 2013 attack with golf clubs... June 26, 2016, this time they attacked with shopping carts, and I'm now crippled for the rest of my life. They shattered 3 vertebra this time and it can't be operated on. I had to relearn to walk a second time, and I'm not yet recovered now in 2021. In 2013 they drove away in the 4 door white pickup truck. In 2016 they drove away in a gold Volvo SUV station wagon.

That blond woman and her red haired Kendra sister, they are wanted by the FBI for attempted murder of me and they are also wanted in questioning for being suspected of also being the murderers of my children.

I don't know who these 2 women are.

The blond woman shows up my driveway frequently, screaming and yelling, sometime accompanied by a small child, about 5 years old, that she pulls behind her in a red radio flyer wagon. She looks to be about 60 or 70. She often wears a denim button down shirt and jeans. She's prone to yelling at passing cars, while pointing up my driveway, and saying: "There's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband."

I've never tried to kill anyone, so accusation is baffling at best.

She seems to think I know who she is, and has made the claim, that "I was that brat in school"... the red haired Kendra woman, sometimes with her, claims to be her sister, also appears to be 60 to 70 and also seems to think I know who she is, and frequently says: "You bullied me in school, but no more, I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my turn to shine."

They BOTH make the claim they went to school with me, and yet, I never went to school, a well documented fact... because I'm the child the FBI rescued what the news media called "Maine's House of Horrors". I was locked in a cage when I was 8 years old. I was let out on Sundays, to go to church, and not allowed to speak or make eye contact with anyone, and this was only done infrequently, whenever church goers asked what happened to that girl you had". I was 31 years old when the FBI arrived, because of Heaven's Gate having killed 39 people, and my uncle being one of the members and self proclaiming himself as the leader of Heaven's Gate after Applewhite's death. The FBI was investigating the murder of 39 people in California, and had no idea they'd find children in cages in Maine as a result.

So you see, when the blond woman and her Kendra sister, make the claim they went to school with me and I was the class bully who beat them up, this is easily proven false, because the time period when I should have been in school, I was locked in a cage, being tortured by my sadistic uncle Bruce.

Also, they are in their late 60s to mid 70s... making them older than my parents, so how could I have been in school with them, even if I had gone to school? At best I would have been starting pre-school the year they would have been graduating high school.

These things they say about school, only further agrees with what police officer W. W. said May 15, 2015, when he made the claim, they had gotten me mixed up with someone else.

July 2016, a month after the shopping cart attack... yet another Old Orchard Beach police officer arrived, this one accompanied by 2 Biddeford officers, who had been former OOB officers... these 3 officers, had a vastly eye opening story to tell me.

They had been called to Old Orchard Beach, to my farm, to arrest me, a call made to them, by a man named Mark, whom one of these officers, claimed was his brother in law. This Biddeford officer, said he requested to transfer ot of Old Orchard Beach department years ago, because his sister (whom he claimed he suspected, but could not prove was the blond woman whom had attacked me at WalMart) was quote "trying to control the town" he said "treats Old Orchard Beach like a dynasty, thinks she's a duchess, has severe mental disorders, and thought she could buy the police department". He went on to say, she got in with the real Mafia years ago and went to her head, and now she thinks she IS the Mafia and most of Old Orchard Beach's business owners, especially the motel owners are scared shitless of her, because they believe her claim to be Mafia. He went on to say, she's not Mafia, but she's good at convincing people she is and stated "I wouldn't murder beyond her. She'd do it just to prove she is Mafia." He said he transferred out of OOB department to Biddeford department because he was fed up with how easy it was for her to get every officer to do anything she asked. He said "the corruption in that department runs deep; don't cross her or any officer she controls; they WILL kill you and every around you. You don't know who her husband is. He doesn't just control that town, he controls half the state."

What he was telling me was bizarre on extremes, but even more bizarre was the live feed radio call, that he had me listen too, as it was happening, on my farm in Old Orchard, while I was at my dad's house in Biddeford.

He said: "The Old Orchard Department called me, asked me to come over here. Buddy Will wanted to prove you were not in Old Orchard and that Mark has you mixed up with someone else. That fucking bastard is crying wolf and trying to frame you, we can prove it right now. We are fucking fed up WolfBoy."

He turned on his radio, so I could hear. A what I heard... a man whose voice I do not recognize, yelling at a Officer W.W. and saying: 

"That is Wendy, arrest her now! That is EelKat. She tried to kill me."

While officer W.W. and another officer, told the man: "his isn't Wendy. We have officers with her right now. Who tried to kill you? Wendy? Or THIS woman right here?"

"This woman right here! This is EelKat I tell you! Arrest her! What do you think I pay you for! You aren't allow to defy me! I own this town! You are my slaves. I command you to arrest her!"

W.W.: "This isn't EelKat. This isn't Wendy. I've known her for years. And right now, she's on the other side of the state. With 3 officers, listening to you right now. You are NOT the law. We've had it with you. You don't own me. And you've mixed her up with someone else. You've been harassing the wrong damned person. You dare call us about Wendy ever again, and I will personally arrest you for false reports, than I'll tell them everything. You'll never see the outside a prison for the rest of your life when I get done with you. You fucking leave this woman alone. You destroyed her life, because you couldn't tell her apart from someone else."

I used to aqua jog, mountain climb, horseback riding, and I hiked 13 miles a day. And in the blink of an eye, that lifestyle was taken away, and every day was struggle, just to sit up and breath, with no hope of ever walking again. I defied doctors. It's been 8 years and I can move around the house by holding on to things and I now can walk again, at the moment only short distances outside with a cane, and the hope is to continue to improve. I still have a long road of recovery ahead. But I'm walking again, something that 8 years ago, doctors said would never happen. 

My farm was razed.

My family was murdered.

I was 5 months paralysed, and had to relearn to walk. It was 8 years ago and I'm not yet fully recovered due to 3 inoperable vertebrae and hip dysplasia. November 14, 2013, 10PM, at WalMart, while putting bags of groceries in the back seat of my car, I was attacked by 3 rapists armed with metal golf clubs, who left me parallelized, in a wheel chair, broken spine, broken hip, broken pelvis, broken knees, serve nerve damage to my left side limiting the use of my left hand, my bladder incontinent from nerve damage, they left me for dead, and I had doctors telling me I would never walk again.

There's more that has happened. A lot more. The thousands of gallons of sewage they pumped into my motorhome in 2015. The cats. the Ptarmagin cats. World famous groups of cats. You remember them. If so, you remember what these people did to those cats. Poisoned. All dead the same day. 12 cats. Dead to what the vet described as: "enough poison to kill a great dane". My horse, she had her head beat in with a rock. My bantam roosters... 70 pet roosters, hung by their necks in rope nooses in my rose bushes.

All because this man, this mystery Mark, whose last name seems to be known to the police but is still unknown to me and man whom I've never seen or met - he keeps his face covered whenever he shows up... mistook me for someone else... and police officers and town hall workers and public work employees.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach... this is NOT the way life should be, you know it.

What these people did to me, should never have happened, and according to the police, it's been happening for 50+ years to hundreds of people, hundreds of families, in this town, and every one is too scare to talk about it or fight back to stop it. That NEEDS to change.

The corruption in our town, needs to stop... but it won't end, until every last person who is being harassed by these people stand up, put their foot down, and say enough is enough, we ain't gonna take this any more.

We the people of Old Orchard Beach need to take back our town.

NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....

The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
Of What? How to Better Bed Kings?


Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 

The ML Rumours
The KBoards Incident

I am NOT a NaNoWriMo ML
Stop Lying About Me & Saying I am!
I did not write those wild posts on Kboards - 

Stop Lying About Me & Saying I Did!

/ /

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There Is A False Rumor Circulating, Calling Me A NaNoWriMo ML, Something I Never Was And Don't Like People Calling Me. Today, We Are Going Look At That Rumor And The Woman Who Started It

Crippled By The Psychopathic #NaNoWriMo ML -
Dreading The Arrival of @NaNoWriMo 2016 

If You Came Here From NaNoWriMo:

And finally, if you are one of the countless NaNoWriMo members who comes to me each year asking for advice on how do win NaNoWriMo, please know a few things:

#1) I'm not a NaNoWriMo ML and I don't know who is running around lying about me and telling you people that I am, but I am getting tired of it. I'm not a NaNoWriMo ML, I've never been a NaNoWriMo ML, and the next time someone tells you I am a NaNoWriMo ML, do me a favour and tell them to fuck off. Okay? I was a Script Frenzy ML for 3 years nearly a decade ago. Script Frenzy is a completely different writing contest/challenge/group from NaNoWriMo, and Script Frenzy also went out of business about 5 years ago. I don't know why people keep contacting me and saying: "So I heard you were a NaNoWriMo ML..." You heard? Heard where? You didn't hear it from me. I'm not affiliated with NaNoWriMo, I never have been and I don't know who is telling you that I am, but they are lying to you.

#2) The ONLY way to win NaNoWriMo is to just sit your ass down and write. That's it. That's all there is to it. Just write. Don't worry about word counts, don't waste time on the forum, just write.

#3) My word counts were: 2004=2k; 2005=5k; 2006=183k; 2007=200k across 2 books and multiple short stories; 2008/2009/2010/2011/2012 were each 230k to 280k; 2013 was 537k; 2014 & 2015 were both 75k; there, now you don't have to ask.

#4) I don't do NaNoWriMo anymore because I got sick of my email inbox being bombarded with nasty hate mail every time I reached 50k words on day 3 of the contest. Bombarded as in, I received 21,000, yes 21k, emails in 2012. That's a lot of people sending me a lot of hate that I really don't need in my life. Joining writing contests used to be fun, it's not anymore. There are too many small minded haters who act like their word count is a matter of life or death. I am disabling my contact pages and removing my contact info, in hopes that NaNoWriMo haters will stop contacting.

#5) My online accounts were hacked in 2010, again in 2011, again in 2013, twice in 2014, and twice in 2015. In each case, the hacker targeted my forum posts, my blog posts, and my Twitter account, and the majority of the attacks targeted my "How to Write" type of posts, rewriting them. It appears the hacker is a NaNoWriMo member with a chip on their shoulder and wild vendetta, which I have yet to determine their motive. In any case their attacks primarily focus on rewriting my posts and articles into gibberish nonsense and wild hysteria. As such I have now removed all 1,371 of my "Writing Guide" type articles, and will no longer be giving writing advice to future writers.

I'm sorry, I know it's not fair to those of you who had nothing to do with this small minded hater's attack, but you must understand my health is not good. Since November 2013, the only thing keeping me alive is my monthly, sometimes weekly hospital visits and surgeries.

We are only 46 days into 2016 and already I've had 2 surgeries and have 4 more lined up in the next 30 days. I'm barely able to walk these days and it is unknown how much longer I will live. I can't waste my final days trying to undo the horrific hate crimes, bullying, and hacking of my accounts that has been going on so endlessly the past couple of years. It's why you don't see me online much any more. I've more important things to do in my final days, then pander to an online bully whose identity I don't even know.

I've heard rumours, from you people emailing me - you've suggested that I have been on NaNoWriMo forums in 2013, 2014, and 2015. No. I haven't.

The last time I did the NaNoWriMo writing contest on site was November 2012. While I still doing the challenge offline with my own circle of friends, I have not logged in on the NaNoWriMo website in 4 years. My last forum post on the NaNoWriMo forums was made the first week of December 2012.

On day 3 of the 2012 contest, I rolled past 50,000 words, updated my word count via the official validator chart on the NaNoWriMo forum and hours later received a mega whopping 20,000 hate filled emails accusing me of cheating and lying about my wordcount. That was the last time I used the NaNoWriMo word count valitator. 

I have no interest in certificates or awards or prizes, so there was no reason for me to continue doing NaNoWriMo on site.

I am a professional author, with secretarial training. I type at very slow one handed speed of 91 words a minute (5,000 words an hour) with spelling errors. To be a secretary requires a 2 handed typing speed of 175 words a minute (10,500 words an hour) WITHOUT spelling errors.

While it takes me 3 days to reach 50,000 words, a secretary could do it in 5 hours.

The world record for fastest typing is 211 words a minute (12,600 words an hour) - take person could complete NaNoWriMo's 50,000 word challenge in just 3 hours.

I type for 8 hours every day. With 1 hand. I have limited use of my left hand due to a stroke many years ago. I have done this since the 1980s. I published my first book in 1978. I write on average 11,000 to 17,000 words a day, every day, 7 days a week, all year long. Ad I have for 3 decades.

In 2004 I was suffering from burn out, had very bad writer's block, and was on the verge of giving up writing. I was building my Dare's Generator in an attempt to end my writer's block. A friend (who was teaching me how to build random generators) suggested I try NaNoWriMo. Me and my writing dares meet the NaNoWriMo forum August 2004. 

NaNoWriMo was NOT a challenge for me. It never was. I write 50,000 words a week, every week, all year long and I have for years. Most of my years doing NaNoWriMo I never even updated my word courts, nor validated them in the system, and therefore never received any of the certificates or awards. I had absolutely no interest in those things. I'm not a competitive person, nor am I somebody interested in walls of plagues.

So why did I do NaNoWriMo at all? Prior to 2004, my writing was very serious. Only on did you see my parodies and satire and dark humor and bizarro works. I had just created my Dares Generator in August 2004 and was looking for a way to test it out. I was fed up with writing serious fiction, I wanted to switch to writing satire, parodies, and dark comedy as a full time career. I took my Dares Generator to the NaNoWriMo forums and I asked members to toss the craziest most insane writing challenges at me, they could come up with.

My goal was not to write a 50,000 word novel, but rather to every day, take a writing dare and write a full complete, short story using nothing but the dares people gave me that day. That is how the Dares Thread got started. THAT was what I did on NaNoWriMo. I was never there to write a 50,000 word novel. I was there to get help with jump starting my satire career. As my fans and readers know, those daily short stories went up on People got to see immediately the result of the writing dare challenges they had given me.

Pivotal to WHY I stopped doing NaNoWriMo on site, was the change of's website in 2012. Previously the site had allowed sex in stories, and most of my stories had very graphic sex scenes in them (rated MA for ages 21+ according to's rating system).

In 2012, split their site in 2, with the original site now being rated E, G, PG, PG13, PG16 stories only. The new site was to contain everything adult rated. Howver, rather then move the adult stories from the old site to the new site, they mass deleted some 60,000 story for being rated R, M, MA, or X, including the entire collection of my "Bride of Sesshomaru" fanfics that had been written using the NaNoWriMo challenge.

Google the event - there are thousands of authors who did not have backups of the stories they posted on who were devastated by the mass deletion of all adult rated stories (no one was given prior warning it was to happen either.) I am fourtunate in being one of the authors who had backups of my stories and they are now being republished on Amazon.

So here's the thing: the combination of the "I hate you because you write too fast" typhoon of emails to arrive on day 3 of NaNoWriMo 2012, along side the fanfiction.nets mass deletion of pretty much everything I had ever posted on their site (I think there are 2 maybe 3 stories still up), was very discouraging for me and I simply moved on and never went back to either NaNoWriMo or, instead focusing on editing my Bride of Sesshomaru series into a non-fanfiction fully publishable parody version.

From 2008 to 2013, I used my Twitter account to track my word counts. Because I was offline, due to my health issues, I have not posted word count updates on Twitter since 2013.

If there is anybody on the NaNoWriMo forum after December 2012, using the "EelKat" ID name - they are not me

My health these past 3 years has not allowed me to have enough time to devote to daily updating word counts, or even writing daily anymore. Until my health improves, I simply am not able be active online. Most days I'm not even able to get out of bed. I'm in bed as much as 18 hrs a day now. My health is very poor. My ability to even stay awake more then 2 or 3 hours to a time is not good these days.

I am deeply saddened to learn that someone out there is taking advantage of my ill health and my not being active online any more, to hijack my online accounts and go out of their way to try to damage my reputation by posting the crap that has been posted via my Kboards and NaNoWriMo accounts these past 2 years.

As most of you know, I have been online since 1997. I have a 2 decades long history of being one of the most helpful go-to people on the internet and some small minded person has gone to a lot of trouble to try to kill my reputation. 

For those of you watching this forum and social network drama unfold - please know that it is NOT ME writing those posts. I shut down my accounts. Those accounts using my name and claiming to be me - they are not me. I am very upset to know that out there somewhere is someone who hates me enough to go to such outlandish lengths to defame me and try destroy my reputation. May they burn for eternity in Hell.

What about KBoards?

KBoards? I still don't know what happened over there.

All I know is I was hospitalized, parlazed for 5 months with a serious life threatening back injury, I was NOT online that entire time - because I was paralized - I could NOT move! I was paralized for 5 months, then I was in a wheel chair, then I spent another 5 months relearning to walk. 2013, 2014, 2015, and now still going into 2016, I am still relearning the use of my hands and fingers - yes, I can't type well anymore - it's why you don't see me online any more SINCE OCTOBER 2013 and why I've stopped publishing my weekly short stories & monthly novels & daily blog posts.

Simply put, in 2013, someone drove a backhoe over my house, then beat me up and left me for dead, and now 3 years later I am still recovering from that event which happened August 8, 2013 and I HAVE BEEN OFFLINE EVER SINCE.

All I know is I was hospitalized, paralyzed for 5 months with a serious life threatening back injury, I was NOT online that entire time - because I was paralyzed - I could NOT move!

I was paralyzed for 5 months, then I was in a wheel chair, then I spent another 5 months relearning to walk. 2013, 2014, 2015, and now still going into 2016, I am still relearning the use of my hands and fingers - yes, I can't type well anymore - it's why you don't see me online any more and why I've stopped publishing my weekly short stories - my life these past 3 years has been nothing but one surgery after another, with weeks of recovery in between.

We are 61 days into the year 2016 and I've already had 2 surgeries and have 4 more scheduled within the next 30 days.

I'm not well. Every day is a fight just to stay alive. And somewhere out there is a very mean, very cruel, very cold hearted, very hate filled person who hacked pretty much all of my online accounts.

Over all, I was offline completely for 18 months and only online once every few weeks for the following year. Most of 2013, the ENTIRE YEAR of 2014, and into 2015. I'm only just started to get online again now in February 2016.

Whoever it was that was posting via my accounts on Twitter, FaceBook, KBoards, NaNoWriMo and others from October 2013 to February 2016 - it wasn't me. And I am needless to say, quite upset by what happened.

At some point, someone highjacked my KBoards account (as well my Yahoo, Twitter, WordPress, Blogger, NaNoWriMo and several other accounts) and began re-writing all of my old blog and forum posts, as well as sending out new posts, pretending to be me.

Near as I can tell, the hacker had full control of my accounts throughout most of 2014.

The problem is, I was offline the entire time and no idea it was going on, and being hospitalized, you know, and DYING...I had no way of knowing or even being informed of what was going on, online.  I had no way to stop what was happening, because I didn't even know it was happening. And had I died, it likely would still be going on. 

Think about that part: I could have died. I could be dead right now, and the hacker would still be posting that shit, and people wouldn't even know I was dead and would still be thinking I was posting that stuff.

I went offline October 2013, after being beat up and left for dead, in my own driveway. 

I was notified of the hack 13 months later in November 2014, while in the hospital, prepping for yet another surgery.

I was in the hospital when I got the message of what was going on on my Kboards account. The posts on my Kboards accounts was so horrific, that I didn't wait until recovering to delete those, I deleted those FROM THE HOSPITAL, from the surgery prep waiting room, 10 minutes before going into yet another surgery. 

It was March 2015 before I was able to regain access to most of my accounts, at which point I shut them down and deleted the posts.

The KBoards account, was by far the worst of the hackers mess. I did not read all of the posts. I read a few paragraphs of the first 5 or 6 posts and then deleted everything. The things the hacker posted via my accounts was absolutely disgusting and offensive on so many levels.

I am horrified by the monstrous things this hacker did via my accounts. Whoever it was that was posting via my accounts on Twitter, FaceBook, KBoards, NaNoWriMo and others from October 2013 to February 2016 - it wasn't me. People who actually know me, knew it wasn't me - they knew I was dying in the hospital, they knew, I'm still not recovered yet, and they knew it wasn't "my voice". They knew how I "talk" when I write and knew it wasn't me.

Unfortunately, people who don't know me, people who are not my long time followers and readers, did not know, that the person posting on my accounts was no me, and the hacker DID do a lot of damage.

As you can see, from my Twitter account - in 2013, last time I logged in, I had 20,000 followers. In 2016 when I regained control of my account, it had just under 2,000 followers. That's a 90% loss in followers, because a hacker had hijacked my accounts and was posting utter lunacy. 

Who did it and why? I don't know. But what is known - the ISPN of the hacker, was a public access computer, at a library, just 14 minutes from my driveway. Whoever the hacker was - they were VERY local. And that's terrifying.

Our primary suspect is the infamous stalker who called herself The Silver Salamander. Her real name and identity is unknown. I have received threats from a local NaNoWriMo member for several years (since 2006) every November. This is the same NaNoWriMo member who every year starts a thread on NaNoWriMo forums title "Will someone please kill EelKat for me?" and from what people have told me, appears to be the person spreading the lies that falsely accuse me of being a NaNoWriMo ML.

This is the same NaNoWriMo member who created 52 fake Amazon accounts to blast all of my books with 52 fake 1 star reviews which said: "retarded books, with retarded characters, written by retards, for retards" followed by the statements "we need to kill her career" and "she ought to be shot in the head". These are IDENTICAL to the statements that were made, interestingly enough, by 52 accounts on KBoards forums, during the time period of the hijacking of my accounts. It appears that whoever this Silver Salamander person is, they are the one behind the hacking and hijacking of my Kboards, NaNoWriMo, Twitter, and other accounts.

Frighteningly, a red haired woman, wearing "Janis Joplin glasses" CLAIMING to be this Silver Salamander person, has a bad habit of showing up at local cafes and restaurants around town to scream death threats to my face. (She claims to be an unpublished author in competition with me, stating I'm publishing too many books too fast and getting too far ahead of her, citing that she will "do what it takes to destroy your career". She shows up every time I publish a new book. Who this stalker is, why she is targeting me, or why she has unleashed this terrifyingly, wild, psychotically deranged vendetta against me, remains unknown.

Another suspect - This very massive hacking, is very similar to the hacks that happened in 2007 and 2010. And we do know who did that. The man was a "professional hacker" hacks, business security systems for a living. The man you all know as "My Stalker". He went to prison in September 2011. From September 2011 to August 2014. Yes. He's been released from prison. And he lives 1 block away, from the public access computer that was used to hack my accounts. 

I've heard rumours, from you people emailing me - you've suggested that I have been on KBoards forums in 2013, 2014, and 2015. No. I haven't. If there is anybody on the KBoards forum after 2012, using the "EelKat" ID name - they are not me

When I was informed that my old account became a "zombie account" (meaning a forum account where the owner had not logged in, for more then a year, then suddenly became active with uncharacteristic posts), I went to KBoards October 27, 2014 to see what people were talking about. Yes. It was true, someone had resurrected my account and was plagiarizing my old blog posts off of my WordPress blog (not used since 2010), rewriting them and making it look like I was posting new forum posts on KBoards. I deleted all of the posts, contacted the forum admins to tell them what happened and requested they lock down my account. I don't know if thy did or not, as I have not been back to KBoards since.

If my account is still activated on KBoards, it should have ZERO posts on it, because I wiped the account. Any posts showing on my Kboards account after August 2013 were NOT written by me.

Meet The Kboards Hacker:

Since 1997 SpaceDock 13 Was An Author Homepage To Find Out About My Books

Since 2003 This Site Was a Database of 6,000+ How-To Articles For Writers & Self-Publishers

In 2013 I went offline After a Cyber Bully Went Offline To Beat Me Up At College...

From November 2013 to March 2016 I was recovering From My Injuries...

From November 2013 to March 2016 a Hacker Was On My Site, Impersonating Me, and Rewriting All of My Articles

Now In 2016
All of my 20 years of hard work, have been obliterated by a small minded, evil hearted, jealous, hate mongering terrorist bigot.

Yes, the 6,000 How To Write & Self Publish Articles Are No Longer Online.
It Took Me 20 Years To Write Them, and Three Years For A Hacker To Destroy Them

Will The Articles Return?
Not Likely As I Have A.L.S.
(Lou Gerhig's Disease)
I Was Doing the 2015/2016
Cross Country Book Signing Tour

Which as You Know Was Canceled Because
The Same Cyberbully, Attempted Murderer,
Stalker, Hate Monger, Attacked offline again
Vandalising My Tour Bus 3 Days Before The Start Date of The Tour And Kidnapping My Cats.

In Response To The Monstrously Horrific Acts of Hate This Stalker Has Committed, My web site Is Now Being Changed...

...And Instead Of Being A Place For Authors To Seek Advice In Self-Publishing, as it has been for 19 years...

...It Is Now Going To Tell You What Happened...

The Illness I Have, Means That Even If I Survive This Stalker's Increasingly Violent attacks,

I Still Will Not Live To See The Next Decade...

...But I will Live, Long enough, To Expose To The World, The TRUTH Of The CyberBully Attacks
That Went Offline

Don't Let What Happened To Me
Happen To Someone Else

Don't Let What These Bigoted Hate Mongering Terrorists Did To Me Be Forgotten

Never let it be forgotten the terror and destruction brought about by bigoted hate mongers who let their false rumours and wild imaginations run away with them...

End The Hate
Know The Truth

Never Forget, What
The Gay-Hating Residents
of Old orchard Beach, Did To The Crippled STRAIGHT Woman, They Falsely Accused
of Being A Transexual Gay Man.

Welcome To A REAL Inside Look At Transphobia in Maine
Watch the Video
End the Hate
Know the Truth

November 14, 2013:
A man with a 4-door white pick up truck beat me up, paralyzing me for 5 months, leaving me 18 months relearning to walk and type, resulting in my being offline from November 14, 2013 to March 30, 2016

From November 2013 to March 2016
an as of yet unidentified (LOCAL - ISPN 7 miles from my home)
hacker, took over 300+ of my forum, social network, etc accounts, impersonating me, pretending to be me and slandering my reputation with several thousand wild and outrageous posts, spreading monstrous rumors and lies about me via all of my accounts...

I was horrified to return to the internet after 3 years of medical leave, to find my accounts in shambled, totally taken over and hijacked by a monstrous stalking troll, unlike anything I have ever encountered.

All of my old accounts are gone now and a new account has been created, to set the record straight about the rumours spread by the Kboards Hacker in my 3 year absence.

The Truth Behind The Rumours:
Debunking The Lies Spread By My Stalker:
EelKat Responds To The Kboard's Hacker's Posts

Welcome to the REAL Old Orchard Beach Where Gun Toting Gay Hating Bullies Stalk A Crippled, Half Blind, Retarded Autistic Girl and Murder Her Pets
Because They Falsely Believes Her To Be a Gay Transvestite, Simply Because She Writes
Transvestite Fictional Characters


June 10, 2016 - Old Orchard Beach's psycho lunatic in a 4 door white pick up truck stalking me again. Threatening to kill me with gun. Following me to work. Using his truck to try to push me off the road. The Transphobic Gay Hater who tried to run me off the road then followed me to work - AGAIN. I am a mentally retarded autistic (and not gay) senior woman that he (she?) is falsely accusing of being gay and therefore deserving of being shot in the head.

What happened?

The murder of 12 cats (poisoned), 2 cats (beheaded), 75 pet roosters (hung in noses in my rose bushes), a bomb blew up my house (October 18, 2006), a backhoe drove over my barn (July 2001),pictures of guns keep being left on my front door, 3 dogs murdered (one hung in tree), backhoe drove over my house (April 2008), car cut in half (May 2010), backhoe drove over my house (August 8, 2013), beaten up and left for dead - paralyzed 5 months - 18 month relearning to walk - now crippled for the rest of my life (November 14, 2013), 3 feet deep of feces put in my motorhome (April 10, 2015), 10 cats kidnapped - their heads beaten in (April 10, 2015), bullet holes shot through hen house (February 2014), 7 dump trucks of garbage tires and appliances were dumped on my gardens - creating a junk pile 175' long, 30' wide and 12' tall...

An unidentified man with the 4 door white pick-up truck  is currently following me everywhere I go, trying to force me off the road...and is believed to be the same white truck that has been seen leaving my driveway every time one of these events happened. 

He arrives in my driveway carrying a gun and yelling "That is Ken's son, that thing is too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach, Kill or be killed, remember what the transexual did at Saco Shaws, we got to kill them, before they kill us all". I do not know who this man is or why he is doing it. If you know this man's identity, please report him to the police. 

This guy is not much bigger then me, only about 5'6" or 5'7", very skinny, wears really big dark sunglasses that cover most of his face, and wears a shaggy white wig that resembles a messed up version of the "Moe haircut" from The Three Stooges. He never gets close enough for me to see his face and it could possibly be a woman disguised as a man.

There also appears to be THREE DIFFERENT 4-door white trucks. one had black door handles, another DID NOT, and one had "side spoilers" at the back windows with swirl design shaped windows in it. (The Maine plates but it is difficult to read a license plate while the psychopath driver is using their truck as a battering ram to push you off the road.)

Shortly after the truck follows me (with-in a half hour) a blond woman shows up and raises hell in my workplace, screaming through the store as loud as she can: "That is EelKat, that's a man. that THING wants to kill my husband!"

The woman, is about 50 or 60, has saloon straightened shoulder length "striped" fake blond hair (stripes of bleach blond and dark blond).

This same woman has attacked me multiple times while I was grocery shopping at Saco, Shaws, where she rams a shopping cart into my crippled leg as hard as she can...while ranting and chanting "It's kill or be killed! The Transexuals are all alike! Remember Saco Shaws!" (A transexual murdered someone in Saco Shaws in 2015.)

This woman is about the same build as the wig-wearing man in the 4 door white pick-up truck and I believe, the "man" who follows me is actually this woman, ironically BEING A TRANSVESTITE herself by DRESSING LIKE A MAN.

Interestingly, both the wig man and the blond woman are the same build as the cyber bully who calls herself "NaNowriMo ML Kendra Silvermander", the woman who has for several years posted death threats on the NaNoWriMo State of Maine Regional Forums. She yearly starts a thread titled "Will someone please kill EelKat for me?"

A bomb was put in my house October 18, 2006, two days after she put an online request for a hit man on the NaNoWriMo forum October 16, 2006.

Yes NaNoWriMo was alerted to the slew of death threats flooding their forum (more then once, with the last time being October 2013, days before I was attacked and crippled November 2013)... and being posted by one of  THEIR OWN EMPLOYEES.

NaNoWriMo's DragonChilde's response was this: "We always side with our ML in matters like this. The ML is always right."

To my knowledge NaNoWriMo never looked into the death threats, not even after the bomb blew up my house in October 2006 nor after the psychopath beat me up and crippled me for life in November 2013. 

Kendra's favorite phrases to post on the NaNoWriMo forum are:

"EelKat deserves to be shot in the head. It's my turn to shine!"

"I'm going to shoot EelKat in the head. She keeps stepping on my toes. It's my turn to shine!"

"Will someone please shoot EelKat in the head for me? It's my turn to shine!"

"Retards don't deserve to live. EelKat is retarded. She should die and make the world a better place."

"Retarded authors shouldn't be allowed to write. EelKat writes retarded books, about retarded characters, by retarded authors, for retarded readers."

"How come a retard can get published and I can't? It's my turn to shine!"

"Retards ought to be shot in the head."

"Will someone please kill EelKat for me? She wants to steal my thunder! It's my turn to shine!"

In person she has additionally phrases:

"It's not November. You're not allowed to write. I'm the ML. I get to say who can write. Don't you dare write another book. I'm the ML, not you, ME! Stop stepping on my toes! It's my turn to shine! Stop stealing my thunder!"

If she sees me in a public place writing, she goes into a rage saying I'm only allowed to write novels in November and only during NaNoWriMo and only if she says I can, citing because she's the NaNoWriMo ML of Maine no one in the state of Maine is allowed to write without getting her permission first (one time when she did this I was not even writing a novel, but instead writing an essay for college class.) When she sees me writing in public, she also accuses me of "holding NaNoWriMo Write-Ins and pretending to be a NaNoWriMo ML. I've been writing in public places (as do most authors) since 1983 a good decade before NaNoWriMo existed.

(I'm not sure why, but she also is constantly accusing me of being an ML - I'm not, never have been, can't figure out why she's accusing me of such- and has had several very public mental breakdowns of screaming hysteria, while accusing me of being after her "ML job". She seems to think that EVERY author who writes in public is trying to "steal" her "thunder!")

I had never met her or heard of her before she showed up at Panera. We had never crossed paths online, though I have since learned that she has been posting these death threats and rants online for well over a decade.

I had never met her or heard of her before she showed up at Panera. We had never crossed paths online, though I have since learned that she has been posting these death threats and rants online for well over a decade.

In person, like a broken record she gets stuck on certain lines while talking:

"It's my turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine!"

...and seems to not have the ability to "turn the chant off" once it gets started.

She is obsessed with using the word "retard" and "retarded" and many variations of the phrase "shot in the head" and ends most sentences with "It's my turn to shine" as though it were a period.

In her forum posts, she brags steadily of "I'm supposed to be on meds" and "I can't do NaNoWriMo while taking my meds." And brags to stop taking her "meds" every April, May, October, and November, in order to "compete in NaNoWriMo" (NaNoWriMo is not a competition).

Interestingly, ALL of the vandalisms, hate crimes, violence, bombs, pet murders, beatings, etc that have occurred between 2001 and 2016, have ALL occurred in April, May, October, and November, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

INTERESTING FACT: 2015 and 2016 saw STEADY attacks on my pets and property, starting April 2015. Also that same time, NaNoWriMo rolled out MONTHLY all year long writing challenges, no longer just in April and November.

Whoever this Kendra person is, she seems to be an unpublished author with a serious inferiority complex and is trying to "boost" herself by violently attacking published authors, and has a violently dangerous mental disorder that surfaces every time she stops taking her "meds".

A woman claiming to be Kendra has shown up at several restaurants while I was eating, to threaten me in person, citing that she is an unpublished author and "You had better not publish another book before I do". Often threatening to shoot me in the head if I dare publish a novel before she does. She often says while laughing "I'm off my meds."

Kendra in person, is TERRIFYING. She screams steady, yelling loudly, shrieking hysterically, flying clenched fists in my face, punching walls and slamming things on tables, and has wild infuriated eyes filled with raging insanity. I grew up with the Scottish Travellers - a Gypsy clan known for it's high strung violent leaders and I've never seen anyone as violently deranged and psychopathic out of their head as this strange Kendra woman who attacks me at Panera is. I have had to stop eating at the Panera restaurant in Westbrook because of her repeated and violent attacks.

This Kendra person looks like Janis Joplin, is about 50 to 60, has long red curly hair (that looks to be a "Brave" wig) and is prone to hysterically screaming at the top of her lungs and making big scenes.

It is my belief that Kendra Silvermander person, the blond woman, and the wig man are in fact all ONE PERSON, given they all have a similar body type/height/build and are all prone to wild shrieking fits in public places.

Interestingly ALL THREE of these people are convinced that I am a man, and accuse me of being gay and transexual.

I am a woman. I've had 2 miscarriages. Men can't do that. Females can't be gay. 

I CosPlay a bi-sexual transvestite Elf Wizard from Dungeons and Dragons at comic book conventions, festivals, and beaches and it appears my stalker can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality, believing the "gay" Elf wizard to be a real person. (Though the character is bi-sexual, ALL THREE of these people, refer to him as "gay" clearly not knowing the difference. Also they refer to him as a transexual, which he isn't, the character only wears dresses, he makes no attempt to be a female. Again, this stalker doesn't know the meanings of these words.)

Whoever this person is he/she is seriously psychotically deranged, very dangerous, carries weapons, uses a 4-door white pick-up truck as a weapon, has tried to kill me twice now (the bomb that blew up my house in 2006 and crippling me in 2013), and has killed dozens of my pets.

This person is HIGHLY DANGEROUS and claims to be ARMED, If you see them, DO NOT approach them. Please, call the police and help them put this mentally deranged psychopath in prison.

Please, if you know who this person is, please tell the police, please help me BEFORE he/she kills me!

EelKat as Quaraun the Insane, The Gay Transvestite Moon Elf Wizard

I am a female and I am a CosPlayer, I CosPlay transvestite Elves and transvestite demons from comic books and because I CosPlay non-human transvestite characters from fantasy and science fiction comic book at festivals, this man believes I am what he terms "a gay transexual terrorist". This man can not tell the difference between reality and a costume of a fictional character.

I am not gay, not transexual, not a terrorist, but he refuses to believe this and is 100% convinced that he must in his words "I keep a gun under the seat of my truck for shooting woodchucks, I'm gonna blow your head off, you thing"

We believe this to be the same man who beat me up crippling me, as well as the same man who hacked my online accounts and impersonated me online for 3 years.

He never gets close enough for me to see his face. I don't know who he is. This man is a terrorist. He is threatening to kill me, because he thinks I'm gay. Please help me, BEFORE HE KILLS ME.

EelKat as Quaraun the Insane, The Gay Transvestite Moon Elf Wizard

Now on a cane and crippled for the rest of her life, because the gay-haters of Old Orchard Beach see nothing wrong with beating up a woman they FALSELY BELIEVE to be a gay man, leaving her paralized for 5 months, spending 3 years relearning to walk and type.

And while she was offline those 3 years recovering from the attempted murder, the gay haters added insult to injury by hacking all of her online accounts and impersonating her, writing many lewd child porn posts, while bragging of being "a gay transexual" in their monstrous attempt to convice the world I was what they term "a gay transexual terrorist"

THIS is the reality of what it means to live in the gay-hating community of Old Orchard Beach.

They tried to kill me, they tried to impersonate me, but after 3 years offline and 3 years of no Gay Elf Wizard greeting the tourists on the beach... I'm back, and the character I Cosplay is gayer than ever now...and seeing how I'm the author of the books he's featured in...I've rewritten one of the novels, crippling him, putting him on a cane, thus allowing me to continue to CosPlay him, now that I am stuck on a cane.

Who Is EelKat?

A lot of you already know me, but if you don't, my name is EelKat Wendy Christine Allen. I am the founder of the Procter & Gamble Boycott; the "Gypsy witch" from Stephen King's movie The Thinner (not the actress in the movie, but the REAL Gypsy witch the actress acted out); and owner of the World's Most Haunted Car, the real life car Stephen King's "Christine" was based off of. 

I am an author, artist, & art car designer. I began publishing stories in 1978. Since than I have published 170+ novels, 600+ short stories, 2,000+ non-fiction articles, a few Disney comic book scripts, and a few dozen stage plays. I am also a Voodoo Priestess rank of Medsen Fey Marija Loa to Damballa Weddo and the current Queen of the Scottish Gypsy clan of Maine.

I have lived in Old Orchard Beach, on the Ricker Homestead (aka the filming location of the movie The Thinner) since 1975, where I write my books, grow insane amounts of rose bushes, and build the wild art cars, locals know me for, including The Dazzling Razzberry aka The Autism Awareness Car and No Hurry/Rosebud aka The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus.

From 1997 to 2013 I was active on 300+ forums and 60+ social network accounts, at one point having a fan base of 3 million followers across these accounts.

On November 14, 2013, I simply vanished offline. Paralyzed/hospitalized and with no way to contact you to tell you what happened, EelKat simply disappeared from the internet without a trace, not to return again, until: March 30, 2016.

At some point between November 2013 and August 2014, a hacker took over nearly all of my online accounts and has been impersonating me on forums and social networks for the past 3 years.

After being beaten/paralyzed I have been offline, recovering & relearning to walk & type. I am now returning online, crippled for the rest of my life (I will never be able to walk unaided again & can only type with 1 hand now). I am returning online after 3 year medical leave, to find that nearly all of my social network and forum accounts were hacked/hijacked by an unknown troll who has spent the past 3 years impersonating me online and, near as I can tell, doing quite a bit of damage to my reputation. 

I have shut down most of my social network and forum accounts as I am simply not medically able to deal with the mess the hacker has made of my online accounts, and seeing how I am not yet recovered enough to type, to tell you why I was offline the last 3 years, I have now started a YouTube channel to talk to you via videos instead.

The hacker was able to impersonate me on forums, largely because of the autonominity of forums - you can not see my face or hear my voice to know if it really is me on the other side or not. For this reason I have shut down my forum accounts and from now on will be talking to you via YouTube videos so that you can see my face and hear my voice and know for certain, you really are talking to the REAL EelKat and not someone trying to deceive you by impersonating me.

Yes, after 3 years of medical hell, I'm back online. These first few months I'll be testing video making, so expect crappy videos at first while I figure out how to make them. Look for my none-test "actual" videos (filmed in my writing office instead of my car) to start showing up after September 23, 2016.

In the meantime, I am looking for ideas and suggestions from my fans, for what kind of videos you want to see me start making. I'm taking your ideas and requests now, and will start making your requested videos in September 2016.

If you have questions you want me to answer in an upcoming video, or have an idea for a video for me to make, you can send your questions and/or ideas to me at:

EelKat Wendy C Allen

146 Portland Ave

Old Orchard Beach, ME 04064-1520

(Yes, I do save all your postcards, cards, and letters. I started collecting your wonderful fan mail in 1997 and haven't thrown any of them away. I still have every single letter, postcard, and card you've ever sent me. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love it when you send me postcards of your home town. Thank you so much for sending them!)

Welcome to my YouTube Channel, please subscribe to get updated on the newest videos.Thank you for stopping by and as always, have a great and glorious sunny shinny day and may all your clouds be lined with rhinestones.

Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.


You can also find me on:





Answering Reader Question (May 2016)

[QUOTE=name removed]I'm a member of several Kindle Facebook groups, as well as dedicated Kindle forums. Believe it or not, a lot of the tips mentioned here are actually superior to the advice I get from those other sources, who knew?

Anyway, I would like to know what factors come into play when building a solid Kindle author brand or platform. I know that this is crucial to developing a sustainable self-selling system for books on Amazon. I also already know that book quality is crucial.

Of course, you have to give your customers what they're looking for. But outside of that, what other factors come into play when it comes to building a credible and powerful author brand? This might seem like a simple or even naïve question, but I hope it isn’t. Why? Let's face it, if quality is the only arbiter of success, then there would be a lot more successful authors on Kindle, but there isn’t.

There are many authors out there that probably substandard stuff who makes money hand over fist. I've also read Kindle books that are really well-written, well-thought-out, and expertly put together and they're gathering cyber dust. What gives?[/QUOTE]

For me, the factors that came into play for building an author brand (because Kindle wasn't around when I started) was interaction with my fans.

I love my fans. I love meeting my fans. I love chatting with my fans online. I love signing books for them. I love having my picture taken with them. etc. etc. etc.

That means doing book signing tours, having booths at carnivals, conventions, festivals, etc.

That means business cards, posters, press releases to newspapers, etc.

I don't do online marketing, at least not in the traditional way people think of it. I don't use email or lists or affiliates or squeeze pages or any of those things.

I do more offline marketing, and my biggest offline marketer is my car, which has 2.5million marbles glued to every inch of it. I have signs about my books taped to the windows, and I work at Maine's largest WalMart. So for 8 hours a day, my car is sitting in front of WalMart advertising my books, as no one can resist stopping to touch a car that is covered in marbles.

This results in a lot of local people buying my books, and in turn results in a lot of local fans, hanging around my car, waiting for me to come out of work, so they can get their books signed and get photos with me and my car. Most days it takes me more then an hour to get from the parking lot after work, as there is always someone at my car, and often more then 30 people to a time, at my car.

Globally I'm not a high sales author and most of my books are bottom feeders, each selling 1 to 3 copies a week. If you live in Maine, than I'm probably a household word in your family, but outside of Maine chances are you've never heard of me. Most people know if they hover around my Amazon page long enough, all my books eventually go free at least once every 90 days, so I get lots of high spikes of free downloads and not many sales in between free days as a result. I'm fine with this, because money never was my goal in writing books. 

Another thing that attracts local readers for me, is the very localness of my books. All of my books are set in Maine and feature Maine speaking characters, Maine foods, Maine landmarks, Maine restaurants...if you don't live in Maine a lot of the "Easter Eggs" in my books will be lost on you, but Mainers pick it up and are "OMG! I used to eat there! Ayah, that place is just like this." 

So for me, author branding is about [B]Knowing Your Audience[/B].Now, I COULD write a more popular genre, one that attracts readers the world over, but, I don't. I like the genre I write. I have fun writing the genre I write. And so that's why you don't see me doing a lot of online marketing and instead see me doing a lot of local offline marketing. Simple fact is, most of the readers for the stuff I write are local residents in a 14 mile radious of my home. 

When I say I write local, I mean very local. Not even the entire state of Maine is my target audience, but rather, just a tiny 5 town section of Maine, known as The Saco Bay Region.

So for me, it's all about targeting my readers. And knowing what my readers want. I know everyone says to know your audience, but most people really don't know their audience. They think they do, but if I asked you the following, could answer them?

Where does you target audience eat?

What car does your target audience drive?

Where do they work?

Where do they shop?

What is their income?

Where do they live?

How many children do hey have?

I can answer those questions. Can you?

Where does you target audience eat? 

Pepperell Square, Saco Maine: Pizza by Micheal, The Golden Rooster, or Rapid Rays, being the most popular of the many little hole in the wall restaurants my readers eat at in Pepperell Square

What car does your target audience drive?

Cadillac, Lincoln. Roll Royce, sometimes a Hearse. Big, fancy, expensive, also 20 or 30 or 40 years old, very rusty, and probably bought it for under $1,000 off craigslist. Usually painted something like pink and purple zebra stripes, with rhinestone spokes, and skulls on the dash.

Where do they work?

Pepperell Mill, Northdam Mill, WalMart, 7-11, or one of the many little tiny mom-n-pop shops that fill this mill town district. Or they are lobstermen, sprimpmen, or alwivemem, or they run the amusment park rides at Palace Playland or Funtown or Aquaboggan or they run the scam joints, I mean souvenir shop that sell .99c China junk for $100 to the tourists in the summer. Hey, this is Old Orchard Beach. A town run by us Gypsies. Hey, Stephen King filmed Thinner here for a reason.

Where do they shop?

WalMart, 7-11, or one of the many little tiny mom-n-pop shops that fill this mill town district.

What is their income?

The average 2 income family of 8, according to USA .gov census of 2014 is $24,000 a year.

Where do they live?

In the many little 4 to 8 family townhouses that line the river up and down the mills.

How many children do hey have?

Average is 6. No one less then 4. Several have more then 12. At least one has 15. And that's CHILDREN PER WIFE. Oh, yeah, I did say PER WIFE. Polygamy is not uncommon around here.

That is my target audience: the residents of Saco Bay, Maine, which includes the towns: Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, Scarborough, Pine Point, Ocean Park, and Camp Elise.

Approximately 26,000 people, about half of which I have meet face to face, and about 3,000 of which I know on a first name basis.

Now I know that is a bit extreme, but it does show you that, I know who my target readers are and because I know them so very well, I can write EXACTLY what they want to read.

Sure, it's harder to be as detailed in a more global market, but I find it's far better to cater to a small target, rather then just scattering books out at random and praying every person on the planet will read them. 

Online authors are always telling me: "Do more marketing", "Get a list!", blah, blah...uhm... 1/3 of my target audience, doesn't have electricity, let alone the internet...half of them have never heard of Amazon. I spent an hour last summer, trying to explain to a local man, that Amazon was website, on a computer... because he wanted to read one of my books, and that particular book is a Kindle only book, there is no print edition. His response was to yell at me, saying it was highway robbery for me to force him to buy a plane ticket and fly all the way to South America, to buy my book at some exclusive bookstore in the Amazon rainforest. A guy in America, in his 40s, in 2015. Didn't know what the internet was. Never heard of Amazon or ebooks. And most of Maine is like that. I'm a freak because I have a computer - there is a local pastor who runs around telling people, I am the child of Satan, because own a computer. Hey, Welcome to Maine.

THAT is my target audience. That is why most of my books are print only, and sold locally. That is why I don't focus my marketing online or with email lists. 

And THAT is how I've built an "author brand" that has lasted 40 years. Online & globally, few people know my books. But offline and locally, here in Maine, I bigger household word then Stephen King. No one in Maine reads Stephen King, and no one in Maine really likes him, he never comes out of that house, never out and about, hobnobbing with the locals or hugging his fans and signing books and posing for pictures, like I do.

So there are different ways of looking at it. Globally, someone like King is seen as a huge success, because the whole world knows his name. But locally, everybody is, "Oh yeah, that's just Stephen King, He don't talk to anybody any more." But then, globally, no one has ever heard of me, but locally everybody is: "OMG! It's EelKat, Is she on her way into The Golden Rooster? I'm gonna go see if I can grab a seat at her table, she invites fans to eat with her you know. I've had dinner with her before. She's cool. She's don't chase her fans out like Stephen King does. She loves her fans."

I do love my fans. And I never know who's eating with me. But somebody always is. 

That's my reputation. That's what I'm known for: I love my fans. I eat dinner with my fans. I go shopping with my fans.

I've had people tell me, that what I do is what is called "a politician personality". A person who acts like they are campaigning for an election, so is always there to smile for the camera, and small talk with "the little people" (There are also locals who petition trying to get me to run for various local offices, but I have no interest in politics.)

So, success becomes a matter of perspective here: Most people online, would probably see my Kindle sales are a failure of epic proportions. But then again, they's never seen me drive a rhinestone encrusted Volvo at the head of a local parade either. 

There is much more to success then money: there is love, family, and community as well. And those are things I value far more then money. Which is WHY you don't see me trying to cater to a global market, why you don't see me putting more of my books on Kindle... I care about my local community, and my local community knows that. I'm not after hoards of money and online internet marketing glory. I'm here to make the lives of the people in my home town, better, happier, more filled with joy. And in that, I'm very successful.

I think, before any author can try to build a "successful author brand" the first thing they need to know, is what do they deem the word "success" to be, what type of author do they want to be seen as to their fans, and what talents do they have that they can use to promote reaching those goals.

The answer is going to be different for every author.

And finally: Beware of underhanded tactics of the new breed of so-called self published author - the type that impersonates you online, hijacks all your forum and social network accounts, then posts lewd, psychotic, hateful, mean, crap via your own accounts, pretending to be you, while posting very derogatory stuff in an attempt to destroy your career and reputation as an author.

I know of 73 authors this has happened to - all 73 of them had accounts with Kboards & NaNoWriMo and suspect it was BECAUSE they were on those 2 forums, that their accounts with hacks and hijacked.

It happened to me, that's how I found out about it. Here's what happened:

I joined the internet in 1997. Between 1997 and 2013 I had created more then 300 forum & social network accounts. I had a huge online following, including 20,000 followers on Twitter. I also had a reputation of helping everyone, never saying an unkind word, helping mediate forum wars to keep the peace, and giving away thousands of copies of my books for free when every one said doing so was crazy - because I would rather see my fans happy then make scads of money. 

I wrote 1,371 "How To" articles for authors (most of the articles between 7,000 to 20,000 words long, each) on how to get ideas, how to create characters, how to self publish, how to market, etc, etc, etc.

In 2003 I started the "Ask EelKat" advice column, where I weekly, sometimes daily, answered reader questions about writing, publishing, etc. Between 2003 and 2013 I had written 6,000 articles for the series, most 700 to 2,000 words each.

Then in 2013, I simply vanished from the internet, not to return until March 2016.

November 14, 2013 someone beat me up, leaving me paralyzed. I started training to learn how to walk again February 2014, but fell, damaging the same injury and would not be able to try to relearn to walk until May 2014. 

I spent May 2014 to October 2014 relearning to walk. 

From October 2014 to March 2015, I began relearning to use my hands and relearning to type.

By March 2016, I have regained the use of 3 fingers of one hand and now type with those 3 finger. When you know that my highest clocked typing speed was 175 words per minute and in 2010 I averaged 91 words per minute, you then relive how frustrating it is now, that I have lost the use of my hands, which for me is far more frustrating then the loss of the use of my legs.

It is now May 2016 and I am out of the wheelchair and walking with a cane, and do most of my typing now with the help of a DigiMemo because I still have limited use of my hands.

And yet, I now find out that the online world, HAD NO IDEA I was offline, hospitalized, crippled, paralyzed, and dying, for 3 years, because, for those same 3 years, my online accounts went psycho frenzy crazy, posting a lot of very out of character posts.

Unknown to me at the time, was that a NaNoWriMo ML had hired a hitman to kill me and then hacked my accounts pretending to be me, in an attempt to destroy my 20 years of building a reputation as the #1 go to guru for writing advice. Her most notable posts were the 3,000+ wild, crazed, rants that she let lose on Kboards from 2013 through 2015 - posting from MY PROFILE - pretending she was me!!!!!!

Why this woman did this? I'm not sure. I still don't yet know the identity of this psychotically deranged, very dangerous woman who typed to have me killed, then spent 3 years impersonating me online.

What we do know, is that she is the same woman who in 2010, sent my several thousand emails in the month of October, all saying that, she could not write, it was my fault, and lots of threats that, if I dared to publish another book before she did, she would blow my brains out.

Near as I can tell, the woman behind the nightmarish hack of my online accounts, is an unpublished novelist (in serious need of mental help) and turned to insane levels of cyber stalking, rather then just writng her book and trying to get it published.

Why have I told you this?

Because... you asked

[QUOTE=name removed]There are many authors out there that probably substandard stuff who makes money hand over fist. I've also read Kindle books that are really well-written, well-thought-out, and expertly put together and they're gathering cyber dust. What gives?[/QUOTE]


I wrote my first book in 1978.

It is now 40 years, 170+ novels, 600+ short stories, 2,000+ articles, a few comic books, and a couple dozen stage plays later.

What have I learned?

Be it print or ebooks, doesn't matter 90% of what gets published, is never going to sell 5,000 copies in it's ENTIRE published lifetime. That has been the way the publishing industry has been for over a century. That's never gonna change.

If you want to be an author, and you want to make sales, you learn to do one of 2 things

#1: You write one book, you publish that book, and then you market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, .. for the rest of your life or until you get bored with that book and write a second book.

This works because every time someone turns around, there you are, and eventually they get so sick of seeing your face, they buy your book. (And do know the difference between spamming and marketing...learn to market without spamming.)

#2: You write one book, publish that book, write a second book, publish that book, write a third book, publish that book, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, for the rest of your life or until you decide writing is not the career for you.

This works because every time someone turns around, there you are with yet another new book release, and eventually they get so sick of seeing your face, they buy your book, and then buy another, and another, and another...

Note that on Kindle, this method only work if you publish a new title EVERY SINGLE MONTH like clockwork.

So what does any of all that have to do with this?

[QUOTE=name removed]There are many authors out there that probably substandard stuff who makes money hand over fist. I've also read Kindle books that are really well-written, well-thought-out, and expertly put together and they're gathering cyber dust. What gives?[/QUOTE]

The substandard stuff that makes lots of money, usually is someone doing a sit load ton of marketing or publishing monthly releases.

The well-written, expertly put together books collecting dust, are usually someone who has done none or only minimal marketing, and/or has a year or more between book releases.

Unfortunately, the authors of these well written flops, have started a trend of cyber attacks on forums (including on Amazon reviews - which is in fact a forum) and results in the type of things, you saw the stalker woman doing to me.

Saddly, I wish I could say it was a one time case of one very immature, unprofessional author having a 3-year long meltdown in my accounts, and therefor an isolated incident. The sad fact of it is, it was not an isolated case, and like I said, it happened to 73 authors who were on the Kboards forums. All those "Big Name Authors" who used to write the big helpful threads on Kboards and then suddenly vanished, some of them off the internet entirely? Where did they go? Well, at least 3 of them are now dead - yeah - dead. 2 of them we killed by a psychotic rival author on a rampage, and a third one commit suicide. A 4th one had her face cut off with a broken bottle. I just told you what happened to me.

No, it wasn't one author on a rampage. It turns out, each of us, was attacked by a completely different stalker! Yeah - it wasn't one deranged person attacking 73 authors - it 73 deranged people attacking authors, it what has become a very bad trend in low-sales authors, attacking, any author they think might possibly be out-selling them.

I've been in the publishing industry for 40 years now, and I've never seen anything like this, frightening new trend of authors impersonating authors on forums, in blatant attempts to damage their reputations, or this even more terrifying trend of author killing author, just to stop an author from having more sales then them.

It's why you don't see me on a lot of forums any more. WF is one of the few places you can still find me online - I used to have 300 forum accounts, and I've shut them all down.

I used to have 32 blogs, I took them offline.

All my how to articles for authors have been removed from the internet, the 200+ websites I used to run - I shut them down too.


It took me 20 years to build all of those websites... I don't have another 20 years o repair the damages she did to them, my health is not good. So I just shut them all down. This site you are reading right now, is the only one I have left, and I've had to password access 6,000 of it's pages, because yes, she even hacked here and it's going to take me years just to find all the trash crap hacking she did and fix it.

This psychopath hacked all of my accounts. It was a nightmare.

Here I was in the hospital, dying for 3 years, and I come back online, after 3 years offline, to find THIS had been done to my accounts. This women went out of her head insane. She hacked my forum accounts, my social networks, my blogs, my websites...I couldn't believe the stuff I was finding!

And that's just the stuff she did online. I haven't even told you about the stuff she did offline! My family lives in mortal terror: a bomb blew up my house, my car was cut in half, my cats were kidnapped - their heads returned, and now I'm crippled for the rest of my life, all because one seriously mentally disturbed author had writer's block and decided I had published too many books.

It baffles me, what could possibly have been going through this woman's mind, to cause her to do these things. It saddens me to know, that there exists in our world people who can become so full of hate and jealousy and greed, that they could set out to try to hurt another living being. I hope the woman who did these things is able to get the help she so very obviously needs.

Does any of this help you or actually answer you question? I don't know. I hope it does.

In any case, many hugs and kisses to you. Have yourself a gloriously wonderful day, and may all your clouds  be lined with rhinestones.

Lots of love from 


My House July 2013

My House August 8, 2013
with vandal's backhoe on top of it

A few days later I was beaten up and left for dead.
I was paralized for 5 months.

I've spent 2 years - bedridden, then in a wheelchair, then on crutches, then a walker, and now a cane, while relearning to walk, type, write, and just stand up.

From August 2013 to February 2016
I was not online.

Whoever hijacked, hacked, and took control of my accounts, it is very likely the same person who tried to kill me.

So, No, answering your question: I don't know what happened on Kboards, I was too busy trying not to die, fighting to stay alive, going from surgery to surgery, and relearning to walk, to have time for forums, social networks, blogging, or ANYTHING else online or offline.

And yes, I am very unhappy, to learn that there is psychotic lunatic criminal out there who hates me so much that they would go to these extreme levels of absolutely psychopathic violent insanity to destroy my life by destroying my house, my health, my career, and my reputation.

Whoever owns that backhoe - they belong in prison.

Whoever beat me up - they belong in prison.

Whoever hacked my online accounts - they belong in prison.

Whoever the stalker is behind these outlandish, barbaric, hate filled attacked - they are seriously mentally deranged on a violently dangerous level and this stalker belongs in mental institute.

If you know who is behind these attacks: please go to the police, because this is a very dangerous person.

They tried to kill me - that's attempted murder, that's a very serious crime and if you know who this person is and you protect them, that makes you an accessory to murder, and when they finally do go to prison, you'll go to prison with them.

^^^THAT^^^ is why I was offline, for all those years. 

Due to vandalism of our tour bus and the Kidnapping of the Ptarmagin Kats...

ALL 2015 and 2016 DATES for the cross country book signing tour have been Canceled!

ALL 2015 & 2016 Book Releases have been Canceled and pushed back a year or more.

I'm terribly sorry to fans who were expecting to meet me and the Ptarmagin Kats from the Quaraun series this summer.

At least 2 of your beloved cats are now dead, 2 more are crippled for life and no word on the condition or whereabouts of the others as these gay hating extremists continue their year long terrorists attacks in their attempts to force the Quaraun books out of publication.

We have now learned what caused these people to stage their massive unprovoked attacks on my, my cars, and my cats. A local tanssexual went on a killing spree last spring and the people who attacked me and my cats, did so because I write Transgender Literature and featured my cats as primary characters in the Quaraun books (the series whose cover art features on the side of The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus).

These people are saying, and I quote: "You know what that other transvestite did, we have to kill them all before they kill us. Get your guns and start blowing their brains out. They're transvestites, they deserve it. It's them or us."

The transgendered citizens of Old Orchard Beach, Saco, and Biddeford, Maine are under violent attack. The "straight" citizens of the area are rising up in extreme violence. And worst of all - many them are police officers.

What is happening in York County, Maine right now is not good - these transphobic people are close to turning into a riotous mob.

Your prayers are needed for the many victims and their families here in Maine.

What About Twilight?


Yes, I am a Mormon.

No, I'm not THAT Mormon.

I wrote the Twighlight Manor Series back in the 1970s. It's a set of 200+ short stories, most of which were only published locally in magazines, newsletters, and chapbooks. Most had fewer then 100 copies printed up. Most were distributed almost exclusively to fellow Mormons in the Cape Elizabeth Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, in Cape Elizabeth, Maine. The series is Dark Fantasy/Sci-Fi/Horror about a haunted house, where aliens live. While some readers have refereed to the aliens as "vampires from outer space" they are actually a race of Moon Elves, known as Ecrodons and nicknamed Ratzins, whom have gone insane and started eating Humans. Yes, there is a black talking cat named Bela in the series. Yes, the family name of the characters is Swanzen. Yes, the main character is a merman with silver sparkling fish scales for skin, he's also a drag queen and only 4'8" tall. No, there are no vampires in the series. No, no one is named Edward. No, there is no romance in it either. No, with the graphic murders, rape, and sex scenes it most certainly is not for children or young adults.

No, I do not know her.

No, I can not forward your email to her. All emails coming to me regarding Twilight or Edward are being henceforth deleted unread.

No, I really am NOT her.

No, I really don't know her. Please stop asking.

Any other questions you may have are probably going to have the following answers:

No, no, no, and oh yeah: NO!

I don't know who started this rumour or put my contact info on one of her fan sites, but...

PLEASE...if you are one of the thousands of people who come here each day in search of Edward or Twilight, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you are in the wrong place... (you should have recognized that by now, but the number of emails I get asking about Edward and Twilight, tell me notice they are in the wrong place - seriously? LOOK at my website? It's pink and covered with transgender and demisexual logos because all my main characters are all transgender and demisexual, just like me - there is absolutely nothing dark or vampire like about this site - just - open your eyes and look around, it should be easy for you to tell you are in the wrong place...okay?)

And if you still can't believe you are in the wrong place... please read Twighlight NOT Twilight for an explanation as to where you are and why you are not where you wanted to be. Thank you.

Near as I can tell, this rumor about my connection with her Twilight, appears to be yet another of the hacker's attempts to damage my reputation. It also shows how desperate this hacker is, other wise why are they grasping at so many straws like this?

Because I am currently receiving an average of 2,000 emails each and every day, regarding this matter, I am disabling my contact pages and removing my contact info, in hopes that Twilight fans will stop contacting me and go contact the correct author instead.


This page is being used as part of a book. Due to an exclusive rights contract with my publisher, the contents of this page have been taken offline. You will be able to read them again once the book is published. A link to the book (or books if there is more then one) will be added below upon publication. 

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