If You Came Here From NaNoWriMo:

And finally, if you are one of the countless NaNoWriMo members who comes to me each year asking for advice on how do win NaNoWriMo, please know a few things:

#1) I'm not a NaNoWriMo ML and I don't know who is running around lying about me and telling you people that I am, but I am getting tired of it. I'm not a NaNoWriMo ML, I've never been a NaNoWriMo ML, and the next time someone tells you I am a NaNoWriMo ML, do me a favour and tell them to fuck off. Okay? I was a Script Frenzy ML for 3 years nearly a decade ago. Script Frenzy is a completely different writing contest/challenge/group from NaNoWriMo, and Script Frenzy also went out of business about 5 years ago. I don't know why people keep contacting me and saying: "So I heard you were a NaNoWriMo ML..." You heard? Heard where? You didn't hear it from me. I'm not affiliated with NaNoWriMo, I never have been and I don't know who is telling you that I am, but they are lying to you.

#2) The ONLY way to win NaNoWriMo is to just sit your ass down and write. That's it. That's all there is to it. Just write. Don't worry about word counts, don't waste time on the forum, just write.

#3) My word counts were: 2004=2k; 2005=5k; 2006=183k; 2007=200k across 2 books and multiple short stories; 2008/2009/2010/2011/2012 were each 230k to 280k; 2013 was 537k; 2014 & 2015 were both 75k; there, now you don't have to ask.

#4) I don't do NaNoWriMo anymore because I got sick of my email inbox being bombarded with nasty hate mail every time I reached 50k words on day 3 of the contest. Bombarded as in, I received 21,000, yes 21k, emails in 2012. That's a lot of people sending me a lot of hate that I really don't need in my life. Joining writing contests used to be fun, it's not anymore. There are too many small minded haters who act like their word count is a matter of life or death. I am disabling my contact pages and removing my contact info, in hopes that NaNoWriMo haters will stop contacting.

#5) My online accounts were hacked in 2010, again in 2011, again in 2013, twice in 2014, and twice in 2015. In each case, the hacker targeted my forum posts, my blog posts, and my Twitter account, and the majority of the attacks targeted my "How to Write" type of posts, rewriting them. It appears the hacker is a NaNoWriMo member with a chip on their shoulder and wild vendetta, which I have yet to determine their motive. In any case their attacks primarily focus on rewriting my posts and articles into gibberish nonsense and wild hysteria. As such I have now removed all 1,371 of my "Writing Guide" type articles, and will no longer be giving writing advice to future writers.

I'm sorry, I know it's not fair to those of you who had nothing to do with this small minded hater's attack, but you must understand my health is not good. Since November 2013, the only thing keeping me alive is my monthly, sometimes weekly hospital visits and surgeries.

We are only 46 days into 2016 and already I've had 2 surgeries and have 4 more lined up in the next 30 days. I'm barely able to walk these days and it is unknown how much longer I will live. I can't waste my final days trying to undo the horrific hate crimes, bullying, and hacking of my accounts that has been going on so endlessly the past couple of years. It's why you don't see me online much any more. I've more important things to do in my final days, then pander to an online bully whose identity I don't even know.

I've heard rumours, from you people emailing me - you've suggested that I have been on NaNoWriMo forums in 2013, 2014, and 2015. No. I haven't.

The last time I did the NaNoWriMo writing contest on site was November 2012. While I still doing the challenge offline with my own circle of friends, I have not logged in on the NaNoWriMo website in 4 years. My last forum post on the NaNoWriMo forums was made the first week of December 2012.

On day 3 of the 2012 contest, I rolled past 50,000 words, updated my word count via the official validator chart on the NaNoWriMo forum and hours later received a mega whopping 20,000 hate filled emails accusing me of cheating and lying about my wordcount. That was the last time I used the NaNoWriMo word count valitator. 

I have no interest in certificates or awards or prizes, so there was no reason for me to continue doing NaNoWriMo on site.

I am a professional author, with secretarial training. I type at very slow one handed speed of 91 words a minute (5,000 words an hour) with spelling errors. To be a secretary requires a 2 handed typing speed of 175 words a minute (10,500 words an hour) WITHOUT spelling errors.

While it takes me 3 days to reach 50,000 words, a secretary could do it in 5 hours.

The world record for fastest typing is 211 words a minute (12,600 words an hour) - take person could complete NaNoWriMo's 50,000 word challenge in just 3 hours.

I type for 8 hours every day. With 1 hand. I have limited use of my left hand due to a stroke many years ago. I have done this since the 1980s. I published my first book in 1978. I write on average 11,000 to 17,000 words a day, every day, 7 days a week, all year long. Ad I have for 3 decades.

In 2004 I was suffering from burn out, had very bad writer's block, and was on the verge of giving up writing. I was building my Dare's Generator in an attempt to end my writer's block. A friend (who was teaching me how to build random generators) suggested I try NaNoWriMo. Me and my writing dares meet the NaNoWriMo forum August 2004. 

NaNoWriMo was NOT a challenge for me. It never was. I write 50,000 words a week, every week, all year long and I have for years. Most of my years doing NaNoWriMo I never even updated my word courts, nor validated them in the system, and therefore never received any of the certificates or awards. I had absolutely no interest in those things. I'm not a competitive person, nor am I somebody interested in walls of plagues.

So why did I do NaNoWriMo at all? Prior to 2004, my writing was very serious. Only on fanfiction.net did you see my parodies and satire and dark humor and bizarro works. I had just created my Dares Generator in August 2004 and was looking for a way to test it out. I was fed up with writing serious fiction, I wanted to switch to writing satire, parodies, and dark comedy as a full time career. I took my Dares Generator to the NaNoWriMo forums and I asked members to toss the craziest most insane writing challenges at me, they could come up with.

My goal was not to write a 50,000 word novel, but rather to every day, take a writing dare and write a full complete, short story using nothing but the dares people gave me that day. That is how the Dares Thread got started. THAT was what I did on NaNoWriMo. I was never there to write a 50,000 word novel. I was there to get help with jump starting my satire career. As my fans and readers know, those daily short stories went up on fanfiction.net. People got to see immediately the result of the writing dare challenges they had given me.

Pivotal to WHY I stopped doing NaNoWriMo on site, was the change of fanfiction.net's website in 2012. Previously the site had allowed sex in stories, and most of my stories had very graphic sex scenes in them (rated MA for ages 21+ according to fanfiction.net's rating system).

In 2012, fanfiction.net split their site in 2, with the original site now being rated E, G, PG, PG13, PG16 stories only. The new site was to contain everything adult rated. Howver, rather then move the adult stories from the old site to the new site, they mass deleted some 60,000 story for being rated R, M, MA, or X, including the entire collection of my "Bride of Sesshomaru" fanfics that had been written using the NaNoWriMo challenge.

Google the event - there are thousands of authors who did not have backups of the stories they posted on fanfiction.net who were devastated by the mass deletion of all adult rated stories (no one was given prior warning it was to happen either.) I am fourtunate in being one of the authors who had backups of my stories and they are now being republished on Amazon.

So here's the thing: the combination of the "I hate you because you write too fast" typhoon of emails to arrive on day 3 of NaNoWriMo 2012, along side the fanfiction.nets mass deletion of pretty much everything I had ever posted on their site (I think there are 2 maybe 3 stories still up), was very discouraging for me and I simply moved on and never went back to either NaNoWriMo or fanfiction.net, instead focusing on editing my Bride of Sesshomaru series into a non-fanfiction fully publishable parody version.

From 2008 to 2013, I used my Twitter account to track my word counts. Because I was offline, due to my health issues, I have not posted word count updates on Twitter since 2013.

If there is anybody on the NaNoWriMo forum after December 2012, using the "EelKat" ID name - they are not me. 

My health these past 3 years has not allowed me to have enough time to devote to daily updating word counts, or even writing daily anymore. Until my health improves, I simply am not able be active online. Most days I'm not even able to get out of bed. I'm in bed as much as 18 hrs a day now. My health is very poor. My ability to even stay awake more then 2 or 3 hours to a time is not good these days.

I am deeply saddened to learn that someone out there is taking advantage of my ill health and my not being active online any more, to hijack my online accounts and go out of their way to try to damage my reputation by posting the crap that has been posted via my Kboards and NaNoWriMo accounts these past 2 years.

As most of you know, I have been online since 1997. I have a 2 decades long history of being one of the most helpful go-to people on the internet and some small minded person has gone to a lot of trouble to try to kill my reputation. 

For those of you watching this forum and social network drama unfold - please know that it is NOT ME writing those posts. I shut down my accounts. Those accounts using my name and claiming to be me - they are not me. I am very upset to know that out there somewhere is someone who hates me enough to go to such outlandish lengths to defame me and try destroy my reputation. May they burn for eternity in Hell.

What about KBoards?

KBoards? I still don't know what happened over there.

All I know is I was hospitalized, parlazed for 5 months with a serious life threatening back injury, I was NOT online that entire time - because I was paralized - I could NOT move! I was paralized for 5 months, then I was in a wheel chair, then I spent another 5 months relearning to walk. 2013, 2014, 2015, and now still going into 2016, I am still relearning the use of my hands and fingers - yes, I can't type well anymore - it's why you don't see me online any more SINCE OCTOBER 2013 and why I've stopped publishing my weekly short stories & monthly novels & daily blog posts.

Simply put, in 2013, someone drove a backhoe over my house, then beat me up and left me for dead, and now 3 years later I am still recovering from that event which happened August 8, 2013 and I HAVE BEEN OFFLINE EVER SINCE.

All I know is I was hospitalized, paralyzed for 5 months with a serious life threatening back injury, I was NOT online that entire time - because I was paralyzed - I could NOT move!

I was paralyzed for 5 months, then I was in a wheel chair, then I spent another 5 months relearning to walk. 2013, 2014, 2015, and now still going into 2016, I am still relearning the use of my hands and fingers - yes, I can't type well anymore - it's why you don't see me online any more and why I've stopped publishing my weekly short stories - my life these past 3 years has been nothing but one surgery after another, with weeks of recovery in between.

We are 61 days into the year 2016 and I've already had 2 surgeries and have 4 more scheduled within the next 30 days.

I'm not well. Every day is a fight just to stay alive. And somewhere out there is a very mean, very cruel, very cold hearted, very hate filled person who hacked pretty much all of my online accounts.

Over all, I was offline completely for 18 months and only online once every few weeks for the following year. Most of 2013, the ENTIRE YEAR of 2014, and into 2015. I'm only just started to get online again now in February 2016.

Whoever it was that was posting via my accounts on Twitter, FaceBook, KBoards, NaNoWriMo and others from October 2013 to February 2016 - it wasn't me. And I am needless to say, quite upset by what happened.

At some point, someone highjacked my KBoards account (as well my Yahoo, Twitter, WordPress, Blogger, NaNoWriMo and several other accounts) and began re-writing all of my old blog and forum posts, as well as sending out new posts, pretending to be me.

Near as I can tell, the hacker had full control of my accounts throughout most of 2014.

The problem is, I was offline the entire time and no idea it was going on, and being hospitalized, you know, and DYING...I had no way of knowing or even being informed of what was going on, online.  I had no way to stop what was happening, because I didn't even know it was happening. And had I died, it likely would still be going on. 

Think about that part: I could have died. I could be dead right now, and the hacker would still be posting that shit, and people wouldn't even know I was dead and would still be thinking I was posting that stuff.

I went offline October 2013, after being beat up and left for dead, in my own driveway. 

I was notified of the hack 13 months later in November 2014, while in the hospital, prepping for yet another surgery.

I was in the hospital when I got the message of what was going on on my Kboards account. The posts on my Kboards accounts was so horrific, that I didn't wait until recovering to delete those, I deleted those FROM THE HOSPITAL, from the surgery prep waiting room, 10 minutes before going into yet another surgery. 

It was March 2015 before I was able to regain access to most of my accounts, at which point I shut them down and deleted the posts.

The KBoards account, was by far the worst of the hackers mess. I did not read all of the posts. I read a few paragraphs of the first 5 or 6 posts and then deleted everything. The things the hacker posted via my accounts was absolutely disgusting and offensive on so many levels.

I am horrified by the monstrous things this hacker did via my accounts. Whoever it was that was posting via my accounts on Twitter, FaceBook, KBoards, NaNoWriMo and others from October 2013 to February 2016 - it wasn't me. People who actually know me, knew it wasn't me - they knew I was dying in the hospital, they knew, I'm still not recovered yet, and they knew it wasn't "my voice". They knew how I "talk" when I write and knew it wasn't me.

Unfortunately, people who don't know me, people who are not my long time followers and readers, did not know, that the person posting on my accounts was no me, and the hacker DID do a lot of damage.

As you can see, from my Twitter account - in 2013, last time I logged in, I had 20,000 followers. In 2016 when I regained control of my account, it had just under 2,000 followers. That's a 90% loss in followers, because a hacker had hijacked my accounts and was posting utter lunacy. 

Who did it and why? I don't know. But what is known - the ISPN of the hacker, was a public access computer, at a library, just 14 minutes from my driveway. Whoever the hacker was - they were VERY local. And that's terrifying.

Our primary suspect is the infamous stalker who called herself The Silver Salamander. Her real name and identity is unknown. I have received threats from a local NaNoWriMo member for several years (since 2006) every November. This is the same NaNoWriMo member who every year starts a thread on NaNoWriMo forums title "Will someone please kill EelKat for me?" and from what people have told me, appears to be the person spreading the lies that falsely accuse me of being a NaNoWriMo ML.

This is the same NaNoWriMo member who created 52 fake Amazon accounts to blast all of my books with 52 fake 1 star reviews which said: "retarded books, with retarded characters, written by retards, for retards" followed by the statements "we need to kill her career" and "she ought to be shot in the head". These are IDENTICAL to the statements that were made, interestingly enough, by 52 accounts on KBoards forums, during the time period of the hijacking of my accounts. It appears that whoever this Silver Salamander person is, they are the one behind the hacking and hijacking of my Kboards, NaNoWriMo, Twitter, and other accounts.

Frighteningly, a red haired woman, wearing "Janis Joplin glasses" CLAIMING to be this Silver Salamander person, has a bad habit of showing up at local cafes and restaurants around town to scream death threats to my face. (She claims to be an unpublished author in competition with me, stating I'm publishing too many books too fast and getting too far ahead of her, citing that she will "do what it takes to destroy your career". She shows up every time I publish a new book. Who this stalker is, why she is targeting me, or why she has unleashed this terrifyingly, wild, psychotically deranged vendetta against me, remains unknown.

Another suspect - This very massive hacking, is very similar to the hacks that happened in 2007 and 2010. And we do know who did that. The man was a "professional hacker" hacks, business security systems for a living. The man you all know as "My Stalker". He went to prison in September 2011. From September 2011 to August 2014. Yes. He's been released from prison. And he lives 1 block away, from the public access computer that was used to hack my accounts. 

I've heard rumours, from you people emailing me - you've suggested that I have been on KBoards forums in 2013, 2014, and 2015. No. I haven't. If there is anybody on the KBoards forum after 2012, using the "EelKat" ID name - they are not me. 

When I was informed that my old account became a "zombie account" (meaning a forum account where the owner had not logged in, for more then a year, then suddenly became active with uncharacteristic posts), I went to KBoards October 27, 2014 to see what people were talking about. Yes. It was true, someone had resurrected my account and was plagiarizing my old blog posts off of my WordPress blog (not used since 2010), rewriting them and making it look like I was posting new forum posts on KBoards. I deleted all of the posts, contacted the forum admins to tell them what happened and requested they lock down my account. I don't know if thy did or not, as I have not been back to KBoards since.

If my account is still activated on KBoards, it should have ZERO posts on it, because I wiped the account. Any posts showing on my Kboards account after August 2013 were NOT written by me.

Meet The Kboards Hacker:

November 14, 2013:
A man with a 4-door white pick up truck beat me up, paralyzing me for 5 months, leaving me 18 months relearning to walk and type, resulting in my being offline from November 14, 2013 to March 30, 2016

From November 2013 to March 2016
an as of yet unidentified (LOCAL - ISPN 7 miles from my home)
hacker, took over 300+ of my forum, social network, etc accounts, impersonating me, pretending to be me and slandering my reputation with several thousand wild and outrageous posts, spreading monstrous rumors and lies about me via all of my accounts...

I was horrified to return to the internet after 3 years of medical leave, to find my accounts in shambled, totally taken over and hijacked by a monstrous stalking troll, unlike anything I have ever encountered.

All of my old accounts are gone now and a new account has been created, to set the record straight about the rumours spread by the Kboards Hacker in my 3 year absence.

The Truth Behind The Rumours:
Debunking The Lies Spread By My Stalker:
EelKat Responds To The Kboard's Hacker's Posts

Welcome to the REAL Old Orchard Beach Where Gun Toting Gay Hating Bullies Stalk A Crippled, Half Blind, Retarded Autistic Girl and Murder Her Pets
Because They Falsely Believes Her To Be a Gay Transvestite, Simply Because She Writes
Transvestite Fictional Characters

PLEASE HELP ME.

June 10, 2016 - Old Orchard Beach's psycho lunatic in a 4 door white pick up truck stalking me again. Threatening to kill me with gun. Following me to work. Using his truck to try to push me off the road. The Transphobic Gay Hater who tried to run me off the road then followed me to work - AGAIN. I am a mentally retarded autistic (and not gay) senior woman that he (she?) is falsely accusing of being gay and therefore deserving of being shot in the head.

What happened?

The murder of 12 cats (poisoned), 2 cats (beheaded), 75 pet roosters (hung in noses in my rose bushes), a bomb blew up my house (October 18, 2006), a backhoe drove over my barn (July 2001),pictures of guns keep being left on my front door, 3 dogs murdered (one hung in tree), backhoe drove over my house (April 2008), car cut in half (May 2010), backhoe drove over my house (August 8, 2013), beaten up and left for dead - paralyzed 5 months - 18 month relearning to walk - now crippled for the rest of my life (November 14, 2013), 3 feet deep of feces put in my motorhome (April 10, 2015), 10 cats kidnapped - their heads beaten in (April 10, 2015), bullet holes shot through hen house (February 2014), 7 dump trucks of garbage tires and appliances were dumped on my gardens - creating a junk pile 175' long, 30' wide and 12' tall...

An unidentified man with the 4 door white pick-up truck  is currently following me everywhere I go, trying to force me off the road...and is believed to be the same white truck that has been seen leaving my driveway every time one of these events happened. 

He arrives in my driveway carrying a gun and yelling "That is Ken's son, that thing is too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach, Kill or be killed, remember what the transexual did at Saco Shaws, we got to kill them, before they kill us all". I do not know who this man is or why he is doing it. If you know this man's identity, please report him to the police. 

This guy is not much bigger then me, only about 5'6" or 5'7", very skinny, wears really big dark sunglasses that cover most of his face, and wears a shaggy white wig that resembles a messed up version of the "Moe haircut" from The Three Stooges. He never gets close enough for me to see his face and it could possibly be a woman disguised as a man.

There also appears to be THREE DIFFERENT 4-door white trucks. one had black door handles, another DID NOT, and one had "side spoilers" at the back windows with swirl design shaped windows in it. (The Maine plates but it is difficult to read a license plate while the psychopath driver is using their truck as a battering ram to push you off the road.)

Shortly after the truck follows me (with-in a half hour) a blond woman shows up and raises hell in my workplace, screaming through the store as loud as she can: "That is EelKat, that's a man. that THING wants to kill my husband!"

The woman, is about 50 or 60, has saloon straightened shoulder length "striped" fake blond hair (stripes of bleach blond and dark blond).

This same woman has attacked me multiple times while I was grocery shopping at Saco, Shaws, where she rams a shopping cart into my crippled leg as hard as she can...while ranting and chanting "It's kill or be killed! The Transexuals are all alike! Remember Saco Shaws!" (A transexual murdered someone in Saco Shaws in 2015.)

This woman is about the same build as the wig-wearing man in the 4 door white pick-up truck and I believe, the "man" who follows me is actually this woman, ironically BEING A TRANSVESTITE herself by DRESSING LIKE A MAN.

Interestingly, both the wig man and the blond woman are the same build as the cyber bully who calls herself "NaNowriMo ML Kendra Silvermander", the woman who has for several years posted death threats on the NaNoWriMo State of Maine Regional Forums. She yearly starts a thread titled "Will someone please kill EelKat for me?"

A bomb was put in my house October 18, 2006, two days after she put an online request for a hit man on the NaNoWriMo forum October 16, 2006.

Yes NaNoWriMo was alerted to the slew of death threats flooding their forum (more then once, with the last time being October 2013, days before I was attacked and crippled November 2013)... and being posted by one of  THEIR OWN EMPLOYEES.

NaNoWriMo's DragonChilde's response was this: "We always side with our ML in matters like this. The ML is always right."

To my knowledge NaNoWriMo never looked into the death threats, not even after the bomb blew up my house in October 2006 nor after the psychopath beat me up and crippled me for life in November 2013. 

Kendra's favorite phrases to post on the NaNoWriMo forum are:

"EelKat deserves to be shot in the head. It's my turn to shine!"

"I'm going to shoot EelKat in the head. She keeps stepping on my toes. It's my turn to shine!"

"Will someone please shoot EelKat in the head for me? It's my turn to shine!"

"Retards don't deserve to live. EelKat is retarded. She should die and make the world a better place."

"Retarded authors shouldn't be allowed to write. EelKat writes retarded books, about retarded characters, by retarded authors, for retarded readers."

"How come a retard can get published and I can't? It's my turn to shine!"

"Retards ought to be shot in the head."

"Will someone please kill EelKat for me? She wants to steal my thunder! It's my turn to shine!"

In person she has additionally phrases:

"It's not November. You're not allowed to write. I'm the ML. I get to say who can write. Don't you dare write another book. I'm the ML, not you, ME! Stop stepping on my toes! It's my turn to shine! Stop stealing my thunder!"

If she sees me in a public place writing, she goes into a rage saying I'm only allowed to write novels in November and only during NaNoWriMo and only if she says I can, citing because she's the NaNoWriMo ML of Maine no one in the state of Maine is allowed to write without getting her permission first (one time when she did this I was not even writing a novel, but instead writing an essay for college class.) When she sees me writing in public, she also accuses me of "holding NaNoWriMo Write-Ins and pretending to be a NaNoWriMo ML. I've been writing in public places (as do most authors) since 1983 a good decade before NaNoWriMo existed.

(I'm not sure why, but she also is constantly accusing me of being an ML - I'm not, never have been, can't figure out why she's accusing me of such- and has had several very public mental breakdowns of screaming hysteria, while accusing me of being after her "ML job". She seems to think that EVERY author who writes in public is trying to "steal" her "thunder!")

I had never met her or heard of her before she showed up at Panera. We had never crossed paths online, though I have since learned that she has been posting these death threats and rants online for well over a decade.

I had never met her or heard of her before she showed up at Panera. We had never crossed paths online, though I have since learned that she has been posting these death threats and rants online for well over a decade.

In person, like a broken record she gets stuck on certain lines while talking:

"It's my turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine! My turn to shine!"

...and seems to not have the ability to "turn the chant off" once it gets started.

She is obsessed with using the word "retard" and "retarded" and many variations of the phrase "shot in the head" and ends most sentences with "It's my turn to shine" as though it were a period.

In her forum posts, she brags steadily of "I'm supposed to be on meds" and "I can't do NaNoWriMo while taking my meds." And brags to stop taking her "meds" every April, May, October, and November, in order to "compete in NaNoWriMo" (NaNoWriMo is not a competition).

Interestingly, ALL of the vandalisms, hate crimes, violence, bombs, pet murders, beatings, etc that have occurred between 2001 and 2016, have ALL occurred in April, May, October, and November, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

INTERESTING FACT: 2015 and 2016 saw STEADY attacks on my pets and property, starting April 2015. Also that same time, NaNoWriMo rolled out MONTHLY all year long writing challenges, no longer just in April and November.

Whoever this Kendra person is, she seems to be an unpublished author with a serious inferiority complex and is trying to "boost" herself by violently attacking published authors, and has a violently dangerous mental disorder that surfaces every time she stops taking her "meds".

A woman claiming to be Kendra has shown up at several restaurants while I was eating, to threaten me in person, citing that she is an unpublished author and "You had better not publish another book before I do". Often threatening to shoot me in the head if I dare publish a novel before she does. She often says while laughing "I'm off my meds."

Kendra in person, is TERRIFYING. She screams steady, yelling loudly, shrieking hysterically, flying clenched fists in my face, punching walls and slamming things on tables, and has wild infuriated eyes filled with raging insanity. I grew up with the Scottish Travellers - a Gypsy clan known for it's high strung violent leaders and I've never seen anyone as violently deranged and psychopathic out of their head as this strange Kendra woman who attacks me at Panera is. I have had to stop eating at the Panera restaurant in Westbrook because of her repeated and violent attacks.

This Kendra person looks like Janis Joplin, is about 50 to 60, has long red curly hair (that looks to be a "Brave" wig) and is prone to hysterically screaming at the top of her lungs and making big scenes.

It is my belief that Kendra Silvermander person, the blond woman, and the wig man are in fact all ONE PERSON, given they all have a similar body type/height/build and are all prone to wild shrieking fits in public places.

Interestingly ALL THREE of these people are convinced that I am a man, and accuse me of being gay and transexual.

I am a woman. I've had 2 miscarriages. Men can't do that. Females can't be gay. 

I CosPlay a bi-sexual transvestite Elf Wizard from Dungeons and Dragons at comic book conventions, festivals, and beaches and it appears my stalker can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality, believing the "gay" Elf wizard to be a real person. (Though the character is bi-sexual, ALL THREE of these people, refer to him as "gay" clearly not knowing the difference. Also they refer to him as a transexual, which he isn't, the character only wears dresses, he makes no attempt to be a female. Again, this stalker doesn't know the meanings of these words.)

Whoever this person is he/she is seriously psychotically deranged, very dangerous, carries weapons, uses a 4-door white pick-up truck as a weapon, has tried to kill me twice now (the bomb that blew up my house in 2006 and crippling me in 2013), and has killed dozens of my pets.

This person is HIGHLY DANGEROUS and claims to be ARMED, If you see them, DO NOT approach them. Please, call the police and help them put this mentally deranged psychopath in prison.

Please, if you know who this person is, please tell the police, please help me BEFORE he/she kills me!

EelKat as Quaraun the Insane, The Gay Transvestite Moon Elf Wizard

I am a female and I am a CosPlayer, I CosPlay transvestite Elves and transvestite demons from comic books and because I CosPlay non-human transvestite characters from fantasy and science fiction comic book at festivals, this man believes I am what he terms "a gay transexual terrorist". This man can not tell the difference between reality and a costume of a fictional character.

I am not gay, not transexual, not a terrorist, but he refuses to believe this and is 100% convinced that he must in his words "I keep a gun under the seat of my truck for shooting woodchucks, I'm gonna blow your head off, you thing"

We believe this to be the same man who beat me up crippling me, as well as the same man who hacked my online accounts and impersonated me online for 3 years.

He never gets close enough for me to see his face. I don't know who he is. This man is a terrorist. He is threatening to kill me, because he thinks I'm gay. Please help me, BEFORE HE KILLS ME.

EelKat as Quaraun the Insane, The Gay Transvestite Moon Elf Wizard

Now on a cane and crippled for the rest of her life, because the gay-haters of Old Orchard Beach see nothing wrong with beating up a woman they FALSELY BELIEVE to be a gay man, leaving her paralized for 5 months, spending 3 years relearning to walk and type.

And while she was offline those 3 years recovering from the attempted murder, the gay haters added insult to injury by hacking all of her online accounts and impersonating her, writing many lewd child porn posts, while bragging of being "a gay transexual" in their monstrous attempt to convice the world I was what they term "a gay transexual terrorist"

THIS is the reality of what it means to live in the gay-hating community of Old Orchard Beach.

They tried to kill me, they tried to impersonate me, but after 3 years offline and 3 years of no Gay Elf Wizard greeting the tourists on the beach... I'm back, and the character I Cosplay is gayer than ever now...and seeing how I'm the author of the books he's featured in...I've rewritten one of the novels, crippling him, putting him on a cane, thus allowing me to continue to CosPlay him, now that I am stuck on a cane.

Who Is EelKat?

A lot of you already know me, but if you don't, my name is EelKat Wendy Christine Allen. I am the founder of the Procter & Gamble Boycott; the "Gypsy witch" from Stephen King's movie The Thinner (not the actress in the movie, but the REAL Gypsy witch the actress acted out); and owner of the World's Most Haunted Car, the real life car Stephen King's "Christine" was based off of. 

I am an author, artist, & art car designer. I began publishing stories in 1978. Since than I have published 170+ novels, 600+ short stories, 2,000+ non-fiction articles, a few Disney comic book scripts, and a few dozen stage plays. I am also a Voodoo Priestess rank of Medsen Fey Marija Loa to Damballa Weddo and the current Queen of the Scottish Gypsy clan of Maine.

I have lived in Old Orchard Beach, on the Ricker Homestead (aka the filming location of the movie The Thinner) since 1975, where I write my books, grow insane amounts of rose bushes, and build the wild art cars, locals know me for, including The Dazzling Razzberry aka The Autism Awareness Car and No Hurry/Rosebud aka The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus.

From 1997 to 2013 I was active on 300+ forums and 60+ social network accounts, at one point having a fan base of 3 million followers across these accounts.

On November 14, 2013, I simply vanished offline. Paralyzed/hospitalized and with no way to contact you to tell you what happened, EelKat simply disappeared from the internet without a trace, not to return again, until: March 30, 2016.

At some point between November 2013 and August 2014, a hacker took over nearly all of my online accounts and has been impersonating me on forums and social networks for the past 3 years.

After being beaten/paralyzed I have been offline, recovering & relearning to walk & type. I am now returning online, crippled for the rest of my life (I will never be able to walk unaided again & can only type with 1 hand now). I am returning online after 3 year medical leave, to find that nearly all of my social network and forum accounts were hacked/hijacked by an unknown troll who has spent the past 3 years impersonating me online and, near as I can tell, doing quite a bit of damage to my reputation. 

I have shut down most of my social network and forum accounts as I am simply not medically able to deal with the mess the hacker has made of my online accounts, and seeing how I am not yet recovered enough to type, to tell you why I was offline the last 3 years, I have now started a YouTube channel to talk to you via videos instead.

The hacker was able to impersonate me on forums, largely because of the autonominity of forums - you can not see my face or hear my voice to know if it really is me on the other side or not. For this reason I have shut down my forum accounts and from now on will be talking to you via YouTube videos so that you can see my face and hear my voice and know for certain, you really are talking to the REAL EelKat and not someone trying to deceive you by impersonating me.

Yes, after 3 years of medical hell, I'm back online. These first few months I'll be testing video making, so expect crappy videos at first while I figure out how to make them. Look for my none-test "actual" videos (filmed in my writing office instead of my car) to start showing up after September 23, 2016.

In the meantime, I am looking for ideas and suggestions from my fans, for what kind of videos you want to see me start making. I'm taking your ideas and requests now, and will start making your requested videos in September 2016.

If you have questions you want me to answer in an upcoming video, or have an idea for a video for me to make, you can send your questions and/or ideas to me at:

EelKat Wendy C Allen

146 Portland Ave

Old Orchard Beach, ME 04064-1520

(Yes, I do save all your postcards, cards, and letters. I started collecting your wonderful fan mail in 1997 and haven't thrown any of them away. I still have every single letter, postcard, and card you've ever sent me. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love it when you send me postcards of your home town. Thank you so much for sending them!)

Welcome to my YouTube Channel, please subscribe to get updated on the newest videos.Thank you for stopping by and as always, have a great and glorious sunny shinny day and may all your clouds be lined with rhinestones.

Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.

~EK

You can also find me on:

Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/author/eelkat

FaceBook: 

http://www.facebook.com/EelKat

Twitter: 

https://twitter.com/EelKat

Zazzle:

http://www.zazzle.com/eelkat

Answering Reader Question (May 2016)

For me, the factors that came into play for building an author brand (because Kindle wasn't around when I started) was interaction with my fans.

I love my fans. I love meeting my fans. I love chatting with my fans online. I love signing books for them. I love having my picture taken with them. etc. etc. etc.

That means doing book signing tours, having booths at carnivals, conventions, festivals, etc.

That means business cards, posters, press releases to newspapers, etc.

I don't do online marketing, at least not in the traditional way people think of it. I don't use email or lists or affiliates or squeeze pages or any of those things.

I do more offline marketing, and my biggest offline marketer is my car, which has 2.5million marbles glued to every inch of it. I have signs about my books taped to the windows, and I work at Maine's largest WalMart. So for 8 hours a day, my car is sitting in front of WalMart advertising my books, as no one can resist stopping to touch a car that is covered in marbles.

This results in a lot of local people buying my books, and in turn results in a lot of local fans, hanging around my car, waiting for me to come out of work, so they can get their books signed and get photos with me and my car. Most days it takes me more then an hour to get from the parking lot after work, as there is always someone at my car, and often more then 30 people to a time, at my car.

Globally I'm not a high sales author and most of my books are bottom feeders, each selling 1 to 3 copies a week. If you live in Maine, than I'm probably a household word in your family, but outside of Maine chances are you've never heard of me. Most people know if they hover around my Amazon page long enough, all my books eventually go free at least once every 90 days, so I get lots of high spikes of free downloads and not many sales in between free days as a result. I'm fine with this, because money never was my goal in writing books. 

Another thing that attracts local readers for me, is the very localness of my books. All of my books are set in Maine and feature Maine speaking characters, Maine foods, Maine landmarks, Maine restaurants...if you don't live in Maine a lot of the "Easter Eggs" in my books will be lost on you, but Mainers pick it up and are "OMG! I used to eat there! Ayah, that place is just like this." 

So for me, author branding is about [B]Knowing Your Audience[/B].Now, I COULD write a more popular genre, one that attracts readers the world over, but, I don't. I like the genre I write. I have fun writing the genre I write. And so that's why you don't see me doing a lot of online marketing and instead see me doing a lot of local offline marketing. Simple fact is, most of the readers for the stuff I write are local residents in a 14 mile radious of my home. 

When I say I write local, I mean very local. Not even the entire state of Maine is my target audience, but rather, just a tiny 5 town section of Maine, known as The Saco Bay Region.

So for me, it's all about targeting my readers. And knowing what my readers want. I know everyone says to know your audience, but most people really don't know their audience. They think they do, but if I asked you the following, could answer them?

Where does you target audience eat?

What car does your target audience drive?

Where do they work?

Where do they shop?

What is their income?

Where do they live?

How many children do hey have?

I can answer those questions. Can you?

Where does you target audience eat? 

Pepperell Square, Saco Maine: Pizza by Micheal, The Golden Rooster, or Rapid Rays, being the most popular of the many little hole in the wall restaurants my readers eat at in Pepperell Square

What car does your target audience drive?

Cadillac, Lincoln. Roll Royce, sometimes a Hearse. Big, fancy, expensive, also 20 or 30 or 40 years old, very rusty, and probably bought it for under $1,000 off craigslist. Usually painted something like pink and purple zebra stripes, with rhinestone spokes, and skulls on the dash.

Where do they work?

Pepperell Mill, Northdam Mill, WalMart, 7-11, or one of the many little tiny mom-n-pop shops that fill this mill town district. Or they are lobstermen, sprimpmen, or alwivemem, or they run the amusment park rides at Palace Playland or Funtown or Aquaboggan or they run the scam joints, I mean souvenir shop that sell .99c China junk for $100 to the tourists in the summer. Hey, this is Old Orchard Beach. A town run by us Gypsies. Hey, Stephen King filmed Thinner here for a reason.

Where do they shop?

WalMart, 7-11, or one of the many little tiny mom-n-pop shops that fill this mill town district.

What is their income?

The average 2 income family of 8, according to USA .gov census of 2014 is $24,000 a year.

Where do they live?

In the many little 4 to 8 family townhouses that line the river up and down the mills.

How many children do hey have?

Average is 6. No one less then 4. Several have more then 12. At least one has 15. And that's CHILDREN PER WIFE. Oh, yeah, I did say PER WIFE. Polygamy is not uncommon around here.

That is my target audience: the residents of Saco Bay, Maine, which includes the towns: Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, Scarborough, Pine Point, Ocean Park, and Camp Elise.

Approximately 26,000 people, about half of which I have meet face to face, and about 3,000 of which I know on a first name basis.

Now I know that is a bit extreme, but it does show you that, I know who my target readers are and because I know them so very well, I can write EXACTLY what they want to read.

Sure, it's harder to be as detailed in a more global market, but I find it's far better to cater to a small target, rather then just scattering books out at random and praying every person on the planet will read them. 

Online authors are always telling me: "Do more marketing", "Get a list!", blah, blah...uhm... 1/3 of my target audience, doesn't have electricity, let alone the internet...half of them have never heard of Amazon. I spent an hour last summer, trying to explain to a local man, that Amazon was website, on a computer... because he wanted to read one of my books, and that particular book is a Kindle only book, there is no print edition. His response was to yell at me, saying it was highway robbery for me to force him to buy a plane ticket and fly all the way to South America, to buy my book at some exclusive bookstore in the Amazon rainforest. A guy in America, in his 40s, in 2015. Didn't know what the internet was. Never heard of Amazon or ebooks. And most of Maine is like that. I'm a freak because I have a computer - there is a local pastor who runs around telling people, I am the child of Satan, because own a computer. Hey, Welcome to Maine.

THAT is my target audience. That is why most of my books are print only, and sold locally. That is why I don't focus my marketing online or with email lists. 

And THAT is how I've built an "author brand" that has lasted 40 years. Online & globally, few people know my books. But offline and locally, here in Maine, I bigger household word then Stephen King. No one in Maine reads Stephen King, and no one in Maine really likes him, he never comes out of that house, never out and about, hobnobbing with the locals or hugging his fans and signing books and posing for pictures, like I do.

So there are different ways of looking at it. Globally, someone like King is seen as a huge success, because the whole world knows his name. But locally, everybody is, "Oh yeah, that's just Stephen King, He don't talk to anybody any more." But then, globally, no one has ever heard of me, but locally everybody is: "OMG! It's EelKat, Is she on her way into The Golden Rooster? I'm gonna go see if I can grab a seat at her table, she invites fans to eat with her you know. I've had dinner with her before. She's cool. She's don't chase her fans out like Stephen King does. She loves her fans."

I do love my fans. And I never know who's eating with me. But somebody always is. 

That's my reputation. That's what I'm known for: I love my fans. I eat dinner with my fans. I go shopping with my fans.

I've had people tell me, that what I do is what is called "a politician personality". A person who acts like they are campaigning for an election, so is always there to smile for the camera, and small talk with "the little people" (There are also locals who petition trying to get me to run for various local offices, but I have no interest in politics.)

So, success becomes a matter of perspective here: Most people online, would probably see my Kindle sales are a failure of epic proportions. But then again, they's never seen me drive a rhinestone encrusted Volvo at the head of a local parade either. 

There is much more to success then money: there is love, family, and community as well. And those are things I value far more then money. Which is WHY you don't see me trying to cater to a global market, why you don't see me putting more of my books on Kindle... I care about my local community, and my local community knows that. I'm not after hoards of money and online internet marketing glory. I'm here to make the lives of the people in my home town, better, happier, more filled with joy. And in that, I'm very successful.

I think, before any author can try to build a "successful author brand" the first thing they need to know, is what do they deem the word "success" to be, what type of author do they want to be seen as to their fans, and what talents do they have that they can use to promote reaching those goals.

The answer is going to be different for every author.

And finally: Beware of underhanded tactics of the new breed of so-called self published author - the type that impersonates you online, hijacks all your forum and social network accounts, then posts lewd, psychotic, hateful, mean, crap via your own accounts, pretending to be you, while posting very derogatory stuff in an attempt to destroy your career and reputation as an author.

I know of 73 authors this has happened to - all 73 of them had accounts with Kboards & NaNoWriMo and suspect it was BECAUSE they were on those 2 forums, that their accounts with hacks and hijacked.

It happened to me, that's how I found out about it. Here's what happened:

I joined the internet in 1997. Between 1997 and 2013 I had created more then 300 forum & social network accounts. I had a huge online following, including 20,000 followers on Twitter. I also had a reputation of helping everyone, never saying an unkind word, helping mediate forum wars to keep the peace, and giving away thousands of copies of my books for free when every one said doing so was crazy - because I would rather see my fans happy then make scads of money. 

I wrote 1,371 "How To" articles for authors (most of the articles between 7,000 to 20,000 words long, each) on how to get ideas, how to create characters, how to self publish, how to market, etc, etc, etc.

In 2003 I started the "Ask EelKat" advice column, where I weekly, sometimes daily, answered reader questions about writing, publishing, etc. Between 2003 and 2013 I had written 6,000 articles for the series, most 700 to 2,000 words each.

Then in 2013, I simply vanished from the internet, not to return until March 2016.

November 14, 2013 someone beat me up, leaving me paralyzed. I started training to learn how to walk again February 2014, but fell, damaging the same injury and would not be able to try to relearn to walk until May 2014. 

I spent May 2014 to October 2014 relearning to walk. 

From October 2014 to March 2015, I began relearning to use my hands and relearning to type.

By March 2016, I have regained the use of 3 fingers of one hand and now type with those 3 finger. When you know that my highest clocked typing speed was 175 words per minute and in 2010 I averaged 91 words per minute, you then relive how frustrating it is now, that I have lost the use of my hands, which for me is far more frustrating then the loss of the use of my legs.

It is now May 2016 and I am out of the wheelchair and walking with a cane, and do most of my typing now with the help of a DigiMemo because I still have limited use of my hands.

And yet, I now find out that the online world, HAD NO IDEA I was offline, hospitalized, crippled, paralyzed, and dying, for 3 years, because, for those same 3 years, my online accounts went psycho frenzy crazy, posting a lot of very out of character posts.

Unknown to me at the time, was that a NaNoWriMo ML had hired a hitman to kill me and then hacked my accounts pretending to be me, in an attempt to destroy my 20 years of building a reputation as the #1 go to guru for writing advice. Her most notable posts were the 3,000+ wild, crazed, rants that she let lose on Kboards from 2013 through 2015 - posting from MY PROFILE - pretending she was me!!!!!!

Why this woman did this? I'm not sure. I still don't yet know the identity of this psychotically deranged, very dangerous woman who typed to have me killed, then spent 3 years impersonating me online.

What we do know, is that she is the same woman who in 2010, sent my several thousand emails in the month of October, all saying that, she could not write, it was my fault, and lots of threats that, if I dared to publish another book before she did, she would blow my brains out.

Near as I can tell, the woman behind the nightmarish hack of my online accounts, is an unpublished novelist (in serious need of mental help) and turned to insane levels of cyber stalking, rather then just writng her book and trying to get it published.

Why have I told you this?

Because... you asked

[QUOTE=name removed]There are many authors out there that probably substandard stuff who makes money hand over fist. I've also read Kindle books that are really well-written, well-thought-out, and expertly put together and they're gathering cyber dust. What gives?[/QUOTE]

Yep

I wrote my first book in 1978.

It is now 40 years, 170+ novels, 600+ short stories, 2,000+ articles, a few comic books, and a couple dozen stage plays later.

What have I learned?

Be it print or ebooks, doesn't matter 90% of what gets published, is never going to sell 5,000 copies in it's ENTIRE published lifetime. That has been the way the publishing industry has been for over a century. That's never gonna change.

If you want to be an author, and you want to make sales, you learn to do one of 2 things

#1: You write one book, you publish that book, and then you market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, market, .. for the rest of your life or until you get bored with that book and write a second book.

This works because every time someone turns around, there you are, and eventually they get so sick of seeing your face, they buy your book. (And do know the difference between spamming and marketing...learn to market without spamming.)

#2: You write one book, publish that book, write a second book, publish that book, write a third book, publish that book, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, write, publish, for the rest of your life or until you decide writing is not the career for you.

This works because every time someone turns around, there you are with yet another new book release, and eventually they get so sick of seeing your face, they buy your book, and then buy another, and another, and another...

Note that on Kindle, this method only work if you publish a new title EVERY SINGLE MONTH like clockwork.

So what does any of all that have to do with this?

[QUOTE=name removed]There are many authors out there that probably substandard stuff who makes money hand over fist. I've also read Kindle books that are really well-written, well-thought-out, and expertly put together and they're gathering cyber dust. What gives?[/QUOTE]

The substandard stuff that makes lots of money, usually is someone doing a sit load ton of marketing or publishing monthly releases.

The well-written, expertly put together books collecting dust, are usually someone who has done none or only minimal marketing, and/or has a year or more between book releases.

Unfortunately, the authors of these well written flops, have started a trend of cyber attacks on forums (including on Amazon reviews - which is in fact a forum) and results in the type of things, you saw the stalker woman doing to me.

Saddly, I wish I could say it was a one time case of one very immature, unprofessional author having a 3-year long meltdown in my accounts, and therefor an isolated incident. The sad fact of it is, it was not an isolated case, and like I said, it happened to 73 authors who were on the Kboards forums. All those "Big Name Authors" who used to write the big helpful threads on Kboards and then suddenly vanished, some of them off the internet entirely? Where did they go? Well, at least 3 of them are now dead - yeah - dead. 2 of them we killed by a psychotic rival author on a rampage, and a third one commit suicide. A 4th one had her face cut off with a broken bottle. I just told you what happened to me.

No, it wasn't one author on a rampage. It turns out, each of us, was attacked by a completely different stalker! Yeah - it wasn't one deranged person attacking 73 authors - it 73 deranged people attacking authors, it what has become a very bad trend in low-sales authors, attacking, any author they think might possibly be out-selling them.

I've been in the publishing industry for 40 years now, and I've never seen anything like this, frightening new trend of authors impersonating authors on forums, in blatant attempts to damage their reputations, or this even more terrifying trend of author killing author, just to stop an author from having more sales then them.

It's why you don't see me on a lot of forums any more. WF is one of the few places you can still find me online - I used to have 300 forum accounts, and I've shut them all down.

I used to have 32 blogs, I took them offline.

All my how to articles for authors have been removed from the internet, the 200+ websites I used to run - I shut them down too.

SHE HACKED EVERYTHING!

It took me 20 years to build all of those websites... I don't have another 20 years o repair the damages she did to them, my health is not good. So I just shut them all down. This site you are reading right now, is the only one I have left, and I've had to password access 6,000 of it's pages, because yes, she even hacked here and it's going to take me years just to find all the trash crap hacking she did and fix it.

This psychopath hacked all of my accounts. It was a nightmare.

Here I was in the hospital, dying for 3 years, and I come back online, after 3 years offline, to find THIS had been done to my accounts. This women went out of her head insane. She hacked my forum accounts, my social networks, my blogs, my websites...I couldn't believe the stuff I was finding!

And that's just the stuff she did online. I haven't even told you about the stuff she did offline! My family lives in mortal terror: a bomb blew up my house, my car was cut in half, my cats were kidnapped - their heads returned, and now I'm crippled for the rest of my life, all because one seriously mentally disturbed author had writer's block and decided I had published too many books.

It baffles me, what could possibly have been going through this woman's mind, to cause her to do these things. It saddens me to know, that there exists in our world people who can become so full of hate and jealousy and greed, that they could set out to try to hurt another living being. I hope the woman who did these things is able to get the help she so very obviously needs.

Does any of this help you or actually answer you question? I don't know. I hope it does.

In any case, many hugs and kisses to you. Have yourself a gloriously wonderful day, and may all your clouds  be lined with rhinestones.

Lots of love from 

~EK

What About Twilight?

*sigh*

Yes, I am a Mormon.

No, I'm not THAT Mormon.

I wrote the Twighlight Manor Series back in the 1970s. It's a set of 200+ short stories, most of which were only published locally in magazines, newsletters, and chapbooks. Most had fewer then 100 copies printed up. Most were distributed almost exclusively to fellow Mormons in the Cape Elizabeth Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, in Cape Elizabeth, Maine. The series is Dark Fantasy/Sci-Fi/Horror about a haunted house, where aliens live. While some readers have refereed to the aliens as "vampires from outer space" they are actually a race of Moon Elves, known as Ecrodons and nicknamed Ratzins, whom have gone insane and started eating Humans. Yes, there is a black talking cat named Bela in the series. Yes, the family name of the characters is Swanzen. Yes, the main character is a merman with silver sparkling fish scales for skin, he's also a drag queen and only 4'8" tall. No, there are no vampires in the series. No, no one is named Edward. No, there is no romance in it either. No, with the graphic murders, rape, and sex scenes it most certainly is not for children or young adults.

No, I do not know her.

No, I can not forward your email to her. All emails coming to me regarding Twilight or Edward are being henceforth deleted unread.

No, I really am NOT her.

No, I really don't know her. Please stop asking.

Any other questions you may have are probably going to have the following answers:

No, no, no, and oh yeah: NO!

I don't know who started this rumour or put my contact info on one of her fan sites, but...

PLEASE...if you are one of the thousands of people who come here each day in search of Edward or Twilight, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you are in the wrong place... (you should have recognized that by now, but the number of emails I get asking about Edward and Twilight, tell me notice they are in the wrong place - seriously? LOOK at my website? It's pink and covered with transgender and demisexual logos because all my main characters are all transgender and demisexual, just like me - there is absolutely nothing dark or vampire like about this site - just - open your eyes and look around, it should be easy for you to tell you are in the wrong place...okay?)

And if you still can't believe you are in the wrong place... please read Twighlight NOT Twilight for an explanation as to where you are and why you are not where you wanted to be. Thank you.

Near as I can tell, this rumor about my connection with her Twilight, appears to be yet another of the hacker's attempts to damage my reputation. It also shows how desperate this hacker is, other wise why are they grasping at so many straws like this?

Because I am currently receiving an average of 2,000 emails each and every day, regarding this matter, I am disabling my contact pages and removing my contact info, in hopes that Twilight fans will stop contacting me and go contact the correct author instead.

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

This page is being used as part of a book. Due to an exclusive rights contract with my publisher, the contents of this page have been taken offline. You will be able to read them again once the book is published. A link to the book (or books if there is more then one) will be added below upon publication.