This is me: Wendy Christine Allen

These are my main characters: Quaraun & BoomFuzzy: Frost Lich embracing Moon Elf -- watercolour art by Wendy Christine Allen

No. I am not EelKat.

This is EelKat:

Miss Citten the Eel-Kat is the talking Faerie Cat who is the narrator of The Twighlight Manor segments of The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer. She is the Empress of the Ptarmagin Kats of Planet Ptarmagin, and travels in her starship the VISION-D8, piloted by a silver skinned electric Eel MerMan named Etiole, known as Captain GoldenEagle, roaming the galaxy in search of rare Space Eels. Literally EelKat is her TITLE and not her name, as her name is Miss Citten.

The word Eel-Kat means "Cat who has pet Eels".

Miss Citten is the cat with pet eels, thus she is Miss Citten the Eel-Kat.

Calling me EelKat because my website url is eelkat.com is as ridiculously stupid as calling Jeff Bezos "Amazon" because his website url is Amazon.com.

Do YOU walk up to Jeff Bezos and say "Hey! There goes Amazon! Look it's Amazon! Hey! Amazon! Yo, Amazon! Hey, Amazon, over here!"

No. You wouldn't. Because it's stupid to call someone the url of their website.

Do YOU walk up to J.K.Rowlings and say "Hey! There goes Harry Potter! Look it's Harry potter! Hey! Harry Potter! Yo, Harry Potter! Hey, Harry potter, over here!"

No. You wouldn't. Because it's stupid to call an author the name of their fictional character.

And yet, I can not make it from my door to the end of my driveway, EVERY SINGLE DAY, without someone, yelling, usually out one of the windows of the 11 apartments in my building:

"Hey! There goes EelKat! Look it's EelKat! Hey! EelKat! Yo, EelKat! Hey, EelKat, over here!"

And then they get enraged because I don't answer them.

But why would I answer them? EelKat is not my name. I do not answer to EelKat.

Would YOU answer to some random name that was NOT your name if someone yelled it at YOU?

No. You wouldn't. And you know you wouldn't.

Why would you?

It is rude to call someone a name that is not theirs.

It is disrespectful to call someone a name that is not theirs.

It happens at WalMart. It happens at Shaws. It happens at Hannaford. It happens at Pepperell Square. It happens at Rotary Park. Literally EVERY SINGLE DAY, at EVERY PLACE I GO, someone, yells out "There goes EelKat!"

No. EelKat goes no where. EelKat is a fictional character. And by calling ME "EelKat" you just prove yourself to be too stupid to know the difference between a fictional character, and the author who writes that fictional character.

I am Wendy Christine Allen, Old Orchard Beach, Maine's Dark Fantasy author: 138 novels, 423 novellas, 500+ poems, 2k+ drabbles, & 3k+ short stories published since 1978.

💗 50th anniversary of 1st book is in 2028!

I use the url eelkat.com because at the time I bought the domain (September 2013) it was the shortest name of any characters in my book series, that had a url available. "eelkat" is only 6 letters long, and finding a .com url for sale that is under 15 letters long is nearly impossible anymore.

And while wendychristineallendarkfantasyauthor or something similar is probably a better url in terms of "SEO keyword accuracy" it is also 40 letter long.

Could you imagine me having to put a 40 letter  url on my business cards? Especially when a 6 letter url that is the name of one of the series primary characters was available instead?

And so, that is why my website is eelkat.com as opposed to my name.

Because people asking if EelKat is my name and why EelKat is the name of my website if it is not my name, is the single most asked question I get, I'm just going to answer here at the top of the homepage for you all, so you don't have to ask it any more.

This site was started in 1996 as a GeoCities site, and moved to several freehosts between 1996 and 2913, before becoming a self hosted site in 2013, and 2013 was when I had to look for a url to host it on, and 6 letter "eelkat" was available, so I bought it. And for some odd and inexplicable reason, that has since led people to believe my name was "eelkat" but I have no clue why.

On Being Legally Blind:

Another of the top 3 most asked questions people send me, is to ask what it is that I actually see. I am legally blind, yet I have a driver's license and drive a car... but I NEVER drive over 25MPH, because I am legally blind and I can not see far enough, clearly enough to even attempt to drive over 25mph.

And it confuses people the fact that people hear "legally blind" but automatically ASSUME (incorrectly) that "blind" means I see only blackness. Blind people seeing blackness is a myth created by HollyWood movies and does not actually exist in the real world and very few sighted people seem to be aware of this.

Over 70% of "fully blind" people have SOME vision, as the criteria to be "FULLY blind" is not being able to see past three inches.

The only blind people who see "blackness" like the movies show, are those who have damage to the eyes, or have no eyes at all... and EVEN THEN... people without eyes often DO NOT see "blackness" at all and instead see white with rainbow flashes of light, because it is actually your brain and not your eyes that cause colours vs blackness, to begin with, thus why people without eyes can see see colours.

Blindness is a lot more varied then sighted people are generally aware of and often blindness has more to do with the brain then the eyes. Which is why there are blind people whose eyes seemingly function normally and eye doctors say have nothing wrong with their eyes at all, aka, the eyes have no cause of that person's blindness, and their lack of sight is caused by something like a brain tumour or a blood clot, or some other issue not directly related to the eye.

And such is the case with my own blindness.

My eyes have damage to the rods and cones which causes SOME but not all of my vision issues. What this means is the rods and cones in my eyes are malformed, some too long, some too short, and this is a thing I was born with, that causes severe nearsightedness.

At the age of 4 years old I was hit in the face. An adult in his 30s, grabbed the fallen limb (limb - not brand - a limb the thickness of an adult's leg and nearly as long) of a pine tree and beat me in the face with it. A large "splinter" of wood embedded itself into my left eye, and required surgery to remove it. I have been "legally blind" in my left eye ever since.

BUT...

Doctors suspect some level of brain damage occurred, a result of being beaten in the face with the pine limb, because my vision DRAMATICLY changed, in both eyes, and yet, eye doctors could not find a reason for the change, that was directly related to my eyes.

My doctors believe/assume (but never actually diagnosed) the theory that, most likely my brain moved around inside my skull, slammed against my skull, and likely blot clots formed and likely parts of the brain died. They then concluded too that this also caused my hearing issues.

I am almost deaf since this event, but was not deaf prior to it.

And my speech issues.

I am classified as "semi-mute" due to severe delayed reaction aka, it can take between  three to five minutes for me to go from hearing you ask me a question, to my convincing my mouth to open and start talking - it takes immense amounts of my physically thinking "speak, speak, speak, speak, speak" for me to get my brain to "trigger" and cause my mouth to start moving and words to come out. This speech issue was not any issue before the beaten with the pine limb.

It is faster for me to write down my answer, then it is for me to get my brain to send the message to my mouth that it has to move for words to come out.

Unfortunately, the average person speaks automatically without having to think about it, and so the average person does not stick around long enough to hear my respond. Usually by the time I've gotten my brain telling my mouth to move, the person who spoke to me is 50 or 70 or more feet away and no longer waiting for an answer. 

The person will then turn to others saying that I am rude for not answering them, when in fact it is their own ableist ass who was rude for walking away and not giving a disabled person time to answer.

But also, as stated before, I am nearly deaf, another side effect of this injury. 

You MUST be VERY close to me for me to hear you at all. AND you MUST be in front of me. NOT behind me. NOT beside me. 

• If you are BEHIND me and talking to me, I CAN NOT hear you and will have no clue you said anything at all.

• If you are BESIDE me and talking to me, I CAN NOT hear you and will have no clue you said anything at all.

• If you are IN FRONT OF ME, but more then TWENTY FEET AWAY from me and talking to me, I CAN NOT hear you and will have no clue you said anything at all.

•  You MUST be DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME, FACING me and within twenty feet of me, for me to HEAR you and within TEN feet for me to UNDERSTAND what you say.

It is very common for people to complain that I ignored them when they spoke to me. However, there has NEVER been a point in my life of me ever ignoring anyone at all.

People who complain I ignored them are people who either were unaware or forgot that I am LEGALLY BLIND and also NEARLY DEAF, and what they interpret as ignoring them, is in fact me not being aware they were there at all because I could neither see nor hear them.

This hearing issue is WHY my son's murderer was able to sneak up behind me and sever my spine with a golf club, without my even knowing they were there.

In any case, at age 4, after being beaten in the head with a large limb, my sight developed what doctors called "ocular auras" and a "form of" "tunnel vision".

Two things occurred:

1: A form of tunnel vision: 

• I no longer see a "single image". Aka, when you look ahead, normal vision sees one panoramic image of the world around them. And I used to see that way.

• But now, it is like a piece of black paper is in front of me and two holes are cut out of the paper, and I am trying to look through those two holes, but most of what I see is the black boarders around the two holes, but also they are more very dark red then black.

2: ocular auras: which are DIFFERENT in the left eye vs the right eye:

• The left eye:---
• the left side is near completely obscured by a "shimmering" or "glittering" moving opalescent blur, that has "disco ball" type reflective white dots moving in constant circles, and reflecting off the colours of whatever is in front of me. So, if a person standing in front of my is wearing blue, all the little white "disco ball" dots turn hundreds of shades of blue.

• The best way I can think to describe it for sighted people to understand it is this: it is like you are driving your car at noon, and driving right into the sun, and trying to see through the blinding white glare of the sun reflecting off your dashboard, and can only get "coloured halo" glimpses of outlines of objects ahead of you, because the glaring BLINDING white light of the noon sun on your car windshield is BLINDING you.

• This is ONLY my left eye and closing my left eye causes this to go away. Wearing VERY DARK "black out" wrap around sunglasses minimizes this a lot, and it is why I can not go outside in daylight without said super dark, wrap around glasses on.

• I physically CAN NOT go outside in the sunlight without said dark glasses on, because I am FULLY blind when doing so.

• When fully blind vs legal blind, I can see NOTHING but the blinding white glare, and am not able to walk... vertigo sets in and I fall over and can neither stand up of walk at all.

• Vs the right eye: ---

• The right eye, is mostly "normal" nearsightedness, with some exceptions that come and go.

• Black spots hover over my right eye and change depending on the weather. The weather, particularly how hot vs how cold it is MASSIVLY impacts my vision, which changes daily with the temperature.

• In winter and temperatures below 68F, the black spots vary from tiny dark grey blurry pinpricks that are mildly annoying but do not obscure vision. I am BEST able to see things most clearly when the weather is BELOW 50F.

• To during heat waves, the black spots become massive "dalmatian spot" blotch shapes that obscure 90%+ of my vision. My vision is at its worst when temperatures reach 80F

• Most of the year, the black spots are fairly small and float around, as though they were ink spots in clear oil.

And the ocular auras of the right eye, are different then the ocular auras of the left eye:

This is how I see all the time, for five decades now:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8SwXWRV/ 

This video is not made by me and it is describing a different medical condition, but the blurred, glowing, haloed "aura vision" that is is showing, is the CLOSEST video I've been able to find to show, how it is I see.

it doesn't come and go, it's just always there. it's why I am classified as legally blind. But the glow is bigger for me. A lot bigger.

This video shows small in one tiny area.

But for me it is all around my eye lids (so its like I'm looking out of two holes, and not seeing one single panoramic view, but the left side hole i look out of is near fully filled in like this, while the right side hole is only around the outer edges, but the right side hole has black spots floating over it.) It shows up blinding white with rainbow edges around street lights, lamps, car headlights, flashlights, the moon... its why I am fully blind in daylight and while I can see at night like a cat.

People are often perplexed by that, but I have near perfect vision in darkness. I can see at night, very clearly, for a distance of well over a hundred feet.

But in daytime, I can not see even eight inches, because this glowing blur obscures my vision.

But at night, this glowing blur dims quite a bit, and I see night time, the same way a normal person sees in the day time.

Always seen like this. My vision is always this way it doesn't come and go, it just stays like this steady.

Doctors started trying to diagnose it when i was 4 years old.

9 different eye doctors have been unable to diagnose it. They said it causes me to have inexplicable night vision like a cat, and causes me to see around two million additional colours that normal eyes do not see. It is why glasses do not fully help and why I am considered legally blind. It is brighter around people's heads, and it goes away completely for an hour or two before someone dies. Its why I've always been accurately able to predict every death within a couple hours.

Its why my Atwaters relatives call me a demon. A few call it "Faerie Sighted".

It is why I can not tell people apart by looking at them.

Every one's faces looks like this glowing blur. I identify people by their hair and voice.

I don't know what anyone's face looks like.

It is also why I can not identify my son's murderer. 

I can not identify the face of ANY person. Not my parents. Not my siblings. No one. There is no one on this planet, whose face I can recognize.

I can only see a person's face for the last hour or two before they die. Its the only time the glow goes away.

As a child, I used to point out people in the store or around town or in church and tell the adults with me: "Their light has gone out! I can see their face. They will be dead before sunset." And no matter who is was, the person ALWAYS died... my relatives became convinced I was a demon putting curses on people.

As I grew older, I quickly learned not to point out people whose faces I could see. I stopped telling adults around me who would die, stopped pointing out the people who did not have their face obscured by a glow.

But just because I stopped pointing it out, does not mean I stopped seeing it.

To this day, five decades later, I still can not see anyone's faces, except for in the hour or two before their death, and it still terrifies people, so I still don't point it out. And to this day, there is no eye doctor who has yet been able to diagnose why my eyes are like this. Why I am blind by daytime, why I can see at night, why all lights no matter how dim are blinding rainbow edged whiteness, why I can not see faces... I don't have an explanation for it, because no doctor has yet been able to explain it to me.

But THAT it what I see as a legally blind person.

It is not blackness that I see, but blinding whiteness, with rainbow blurs, hovering in front of my eyes, obscuring my view...I can see a "ring" of the world between the glowing white centre and the black outline of seeing the insides of my eyelids.

And this is also why I write my main character's (Quaraun)'s husband (BoomFuzzy) as legally blind, and write his blindness symptoms the way I do. This is the type of blindness I know from lived experience, and so it is the type of blindness I write my character in my novels having.

I do find it funny, that a common thing readers say to me is some variation of:

"I forgot BoomFuzzy was supposed to be blind. You have him moving around without a cane, he is a chef, he drives a food truck, and he acts like a normal sighted person most of the time, then suddenly he walks into a tree or trips on a rock, or a scene of someone helping him cross the street reminds me he is blind. But don't blind people just see pitch black all the time? Why do you write him driving a truck, I don't get it?"

Well, if you pay attention I write BoomFuzzy with a SPECIFIC medical condition: "legally blind from ocular albinism" which is the medical condition, with the most similar symptoms to how I see the world.

It allows me to write him interacting with the world, the same way I do, and indeed, I DO drive a car, I used to work on a food truck, I went to culinary arts school, I can cook quite well, while I do have a white tipped blind cane I am rarely using it, I do walk around the city streets by myself without need for help... and yeah... people DO often forget, or even not realize at all that I am MEDICALLY classified as LEGALLY BLIND, because general public has a singular misconception of what BLIND actually means as a medical term, when the ACTUAL medical term of LEGALLLY BLIND is vastly different from what most people think it is.

If you forget BoomFuzzy is blind, then yeah, I've written him accuratly to REAL blindness, becauseit is VERY RARE for anyone around me to be aware I am blind, simply because, I've been blind for over five decades and never knew the world as a sighted person, so I manuveer the world in my normal.

If an adult who always knew the sighted world becomes blind, now THAT is VERY different, because they EXPECT to use their eyes for everything, so they trip and stumble and fall and walk into things OFTEN and DAILY because they are NOT USED to being blind.

But someone who has been blind since childhood, has NEVER LEARNED to maneuver with their eyes.

• Pay attention and you will notice blind people DO NOT listen to music... because they listen to sounds. 

• Sighted people wear earbuds and bounce their heads to music has they walk down the street because they rely on their eyes to tell them when it is safe to cross the street.

• A blind person NEVER listens to music because they NEED to use their EARS to tell if it is safe to cross the street.

• Pay attention and you will notice blind people DO NOT walk in the centre of a hallway.. 

• Sighted people walk down the middle of a school hallway because they rely on their eyes to tell them when to avoid other people.

• A blind person ALWAYS walks on the side against the wall, with one hand touching the wall as they walk, because they rely on TOUCH to tell them when someone is coming.

You can tell a person is blind by how they interact with their world IF you pay attention. But often blind people are just so used to being blind, that you never notice they are blind at all.

Here is representation of how I see the world:

Because it is often difficult for people to visualis how it is I see the world, just through a description, I made a filter lense for my camera, that very closely mimics what it is I see when I look at the same things others look at.

Here are seven photos of the calendar I have hanging on my wall.

In the first column is the photos of the calendar pages without the filter on my camera lense, and so what you see is how NORMAL VISION people see.

In the 2nd column is each of the exact same calendar pages, but this time taken with the filter lense on the camera, to show you what it is I as a legally blind person see.

A Person With Normal vision Sees This:	I Am Legally Blind and I See This Instead:

I can never win at games like Dutch Blitz, because when you play Dutch Blitz you see this:

But when I play Dutch Blitz, I see this:

That is how the world looks to me.

If you are interesting in finding out more about life being blind and/or how to write blind characters in fiction, I have this page: Writing Blind Characters: I am legally blind and I write a legally blind character, this is how I do it...

In case you needed a reason to follow or unfollow me:

• I am not white, though I look it, and 90%+ of my family and relatives shun their true ethnicity and pretend to be white, call themselves white, and pass themselves off as white 100% fully lying about their heritage, their ancestry, and they DNA bloodline.

• I am a Gypsy. No, not Romani. Yes, they are two different groups that share ZERO DNA, and ZERO culture. We Gypsies are NOT Romani, and the Romani are not us Gypsies.

• I am the proud owner of ALL 3,802 volumes of the COMPLETE set of Zebra Historical Romance novels featuring Fabio on the bodice ripper covers, and I have read every single one of them at least once.

• In addition to those 3k novels, I own more then THIRTY THOUSAND Romance novels by Harlequin, Avon, Signet, Zebra, and dozens of other Romance novel publishers, and I have read every single one of them. 

• I have been a Harlequin Romance novel subscriber since the 1970s.

• I am a wheelchair user.

• I wear hijab and head scarfs, even though I am not Muslim. 

• I wear them because I am a Christians and ANYONE who has ever ACTUALLY READ the Bible knows, woman are commanded over 700 times to cover their heads when going outside. 200 of those times are said in the New testament. Seven of those times are written in red because they are said by Jesus. If you are a female, and you are NOT wearing a hijab, you are NOT obey the words of Christ and therefore you are NOT a Christian, because the word Christian MEANS "does what Christ taught". You might want to think about THAT next time you feel tempted to falsely accuse me of being Muslim for wearing a viel exactly as Jesus said to do,.

• I am the author of over a 100 published Poly-Gay Romance novels. 

• I have friends who are Gay.

• I have friends who are Black.

• I have friends who are transgender. Mostly transmen, but a few transwomen too.

• I have friends who are immigrants.

• I have friends who are Black immigrants.

• I was raised 5th gen Mormon & attended the LDS church without missing a single Sunday or midweek meeting for 42 years.

• I have a PhD in Christian Theology and Bible Studies from a Calvinist University, a degree that took me 12 years to get and included learning to read the Bible in Latin, Greek, and Aramaic. 

• I have read 16 different translations of the Bible a total of 42 times cover to cover, like a novel in addition to more then fifty years of daily Bible Study.

• I have read the Book of Mormon 14 time, the Doctrine and Covenants 6 times, the Koran 3 times, and the Epic of Gilgamesh once. 

• I have also read the Torah, the Kaballic texts, the Enochian texts, The Dead Sea Scrolls, The Nag Hamid, Both the Lost and the Forgotten Books of the Bible, all the various "uncannon" Gospels (aka Gospel of Mary Magdalene, etc), The Keys of Solomon, and several hundred other similar such texts.

• List of any sacred scripture of any religion Christian, nonChristian, Abrahamic, Pagan, or otherwise, and I will likely have already read it at least once, probably 5 or more times, and often over a dozen times. Including I have read more then 80% of the books found on this website: https://sacred-texts.com/index.htm 

• I am now a ChristoPagan Voodoo Priestess. 

• I was ordained a Medsan Fey (rank in Vodu) on September 23, 2013.
• I have read all 800+ books by Barbara Cartland, all 500+ volumes of InuYasha, everybook found in "The Authors" card game, 

• My favorite book is Lythande by Marion Zimmer Bradly.

• I believe books can remain your favorite books no matter what a horrible piece of shit the author was in real life. Did I mention,  favorite book is Lythande but it had the misfortune of being written by Marion Zimmer Bradley?

• Harry Potter series is one of my top ten fave books of all time, but, it had the misfortune of being written by a transphobic piece of shit, whose name, I refuse to even say. She wrote good books, she's so much of a piece of shit that she even makes Marion Zimmer Bradley look like a good person!

• My 2nd fave book is Fall of House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe

• Vincent Price is my favourite actor. 

• Johnny Depp is my second favorite actor.

• I am Scottish and therefor neither Republican or Democrat, because those are American political parties and I don't know enough about either of them to know if I like or dislike either group. 

• I do know I dislike 90%+ of the stuff I see posted by BOTH sides on Twitter and TikTok, so I don't think I like either Republicans or Democrats.

• I think Trump is stupid and not a good president.

• I also think Biden was stupid and not a good president either.

• I believe Ronald Reagan was the last (questionably) good president America had and that EVERY president after Reagan has been stupid, incompetent, and had no business running a country. 

• And I believe the bad economy and such America has now is NOT a result of any ONE president, but rather a combined result of four decades of back to back shitty presidents, not a one of which actually cared about their citizens.

• My best friend is a transman who is in his 90s and has been transgender for over seventy years, and has been my best friend for 48 years. 

• I am a massive supporter of LGBTQAI+ rights.

• I care about and vote for other people's rights even if it does not directly affect me.

And here's one that's going to piss off a lot of you, but it's a thing I believe, so here it is:

• I believe Christian Nationalists are a group lead by False Prophets, deceived by workers doing Satan's work, in an attempt to draw people away from Christ by rising up false Christians.

• I believe Christian Nationalists are the specific exact group Jesus warned us to be on the look out for, the group he warned would come in his name, proclaiming to be doing his work, but really were wolves in sheeps clothing setting up blind false prophests to lead the blind astray. 

• I noticed a lot of the extreme radical Christian Nationalists use The Good News Bible. Have you ever read it? 

1. I got one and read it to see how different it was and boy oh boy I can see why they have no clue anything Jesus said. 
2. It's like a "Cliff Notes version of the Bible for empowering incels". Wow, is it different! 
3. It removes entire sections, whole verses, whole chapters, even entire books from the Bible and rewrites everything into a "hip casual" modern English. 
4. It completely changes words (like places that originally say physicians and healers, instead say witches and demons,and places that say enemy often now say "gay men" instead). 
5. It's very pro male, anti gay, anti Trans, anti women, anti poor, and completely changes all the words of Christ to make him sound like a white power bigot. 
6. It's no wonder Christian Nationalists think they are followers of Jesus even though they do opposite everything he taught. 
7. I highly recommend anyone who is wondering why Christian Nationals think they are following Christ, go out and get a copy of "The Good News Bible" and read it and compare it to the King James Version and you'll QUICKLY see why they have no clue what Jesus ACTUALLY said, and why they are so deluded that they actually think their white power, racist, transphobic, homophobic bullshit makes them qualify as Christian!

• I believe the Christian Nationalists are doing Satan's work in Jesus name, and are the vile evil filth Jesus said we must wipe off our feet and have no part of.

Why do I say this?

Because starting in the first couple weeks of September 2025, ALL of my white friends have started doing a weird, and utterly terrifying trend of quoting endless, horrifying anti-minority rhetoric. And I am becoming deeply more scared for the lives of me and my family with each passing day.

I am not white.

I think my white friends often forget that. Lately my white friends have been quoting the hateful preachings of various white Christian Nationalist evangelists and podcasters. The make racist jokes about various groups, sometimes Blacks, sometimes Gays, sometimes Trans, but most often they use the term “all non-whites”. 

Common phrases they say include: 

• -“all non-whites should be shot in the head just like ___ said in his last podcast” 

• -“all non-whites should be lined up in front of a firing squad and shot just like ___ said in his last podcast”

• -“all non-whites should be lobotomized just like ___ said in his last podcast” 

(the name in the ___ varies from week to week as they listen to many different podcasts).

I don't know why they are saying these things DAILY, multiple times, often repeating those 3 phrases a few dozen times each over and over again in the space of only 15 to 20 minutes, while shifting back and foerth between clinching fists and pounding tables, when saying the word "non-whites" then laughing manically and bubbling over with joy when saying "shot in the head".

Why does this terrify me?

I am a non-white.

And they are sitting in my living room while they say these things.

• Does that mean my friends are saying that they want to shoot ME in the head?

I am not white.

• Does that mean my friends want to put ME in front of a firing squad?

I am not white, so when those podcasters my white friends are talking about, say ALL non-white, those podcasters ARE including ME on their list of people they are telling their listeners to kill.

But my question is, do my white friends REALIZE that I am not white?

I COULD pass for white, the way many of my family and relatives do, but that would be living a lie and pretending to be something I am not. That would be burying my ancestors' memories. That would be hiding my culture. That would mean acting like a white person, dressing like a white person, and trying to mix in with white culture, a culture that is utterly alien to me and how I was raised.

Do my friends not realize this when they are bubbling over with joy, excitedly telling me “we need to round up the non-whites and kill them all just like ___ said in his latest podcast”... that I am one of those non-whites that they are bubbling over with excitement to round up and kill?

I am becoming more deeply terrified by my friends with each passing day, as they become more and more rabid in their exuberance in saying they want all non-whites dead, when I am myself non-white.

 I do not feel safe around people who support a man/woman/leader/preacher/podcaster/influancer/etc who promotes the idea of genocide of all none whites. Because that means they want me, a none white person, dead too, because he told them, all non-whites like myself do not deserve to live. I have too many white friends who quote anti-white rhetoric, to me, a not white person, when talking to me. Either they completely forgot I am not white, or they want me dead; there is no other way to interpret my friends quoting hatred against non-whites.

• Are my WHITE friends coming over here to tell me their joy over a genocide (their word) of all non-whites, because they somehow THINK I am white, and completely forgot that I am NOT white?

• Or are the coming here near daily bubbling over with joy at the idea of genocide of non-whites because they are bragging they want me dead?

I do not know which it is… but either way, I am not white, and I am becoming increasingly more terrified of my white friends with each passing day.

Info About The FBI Investigation:

If you don't know, my 8month old infant son was murdered November 14, 2013, and his killer was not yet identified. There is an active FBI murder investigation trying to identify and local the woman.

I am putting brief details of the case and what information the FBI is seeking here on the home page of my author website. 

• If you are looking for information on my articles for writers, scroll to below this FBI section for that info: Info on writing articles starts here.

• If you are looking for info on my books, where to buy my books, or world lore and character art, scroll to the section below the writing articles info. Info on Quaraun series novels/novellas/stories/world lor/characters starts here.

• If you are interested in helping find my son's killer, keep reading from right here:

Do you know who this woman is?
If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322

as she looked November 14, 2013 - drove away in a 4 door white pick up truck; from BugLight Lighthouse, at the art studio parking lot of Southern Maine Community College	as she looked June 24, 2016 - drove away in a mid-1990s gold Volvo 405 station wagon; from parking lot of Scarborough, walMart
as she looked June 2023- at PortConMaine'23 at the Round 1 bowling alley at the Maine Mall	as she looked June 2023- at PortConMaine'23 at the Round 1 bowling alley at the Maine Mall

She is wanted for:

• -the 2013 murder of my son, Xavier-Octavian Allen-Wildes, whom she ripped out of my 8 month pregnant belly and then used a golf club to beat his brains in on the parking lot;

• -for the attempted murder and crippling of me in 2013 (the golf club attack, after killing my son she used the same golfclub to severe my spine leaving me a quadrapalegic for 18 months)

• - & 2nd attempted murder of me 2016 (the shopping cart attack - which re-injured my 2013 spine injury, and is why I am now in a wheelchair).

• - and the murder of my dog Mickie in 2023 (poisoned the pizza I was eating which my Llasha Apso also ate) and a 3rd attempted murder of me the same day (the poisoned pizza attack).

She ALREADY has a life sentence for prison for the murder of my son, but she has not yet been identified and is still walking free.

As of 2025 she is believed to be between 70 to 80 years old now.

As her attacks have all coincided with vandalism of my farm, including a backhoe being driven over my house, it is suspected that she is likely also involved in those.

It is believed she was involved in the 2017 beheading of my 75 pet roosters who's headless bodies were hung from rope nooses in my rosebushes, and the May 12, 2015 beheading and vivisection of my cat Cleo who's head was nailed to my motorhome door and intestines braided to the motorhome awning.

She is suspected of being the one who is starting and spreading the UFO, alien abduction, cryptid, erotica, and other vile slanderous defamation gossip rumours about me.

She is suspected of being the one who illegally sold half of my land (now 144 Portland Ave) ILLEGALLY to Don Cooliagrd.

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.

And I'm sick of real estate agents who are too incompetent to research land ownership before they show up to stick a for sale sign in my yard.

The fact of the matter is, my son was murdered in 2013, and the friends and family of the murderer think it is funny to keep ILLEGALLY listing my land for sale, because apparently their child murdering bitch friend didn't hurt me enough by crippling me with a golf club, ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and beating his brains out on the ground with a golf club.

Also, her friends and family like to impersonate me by doxing me on ufo and alien abduction forums, while pretending to be me, and trying to make it look like I believe in ufos or aliens, even though I think people who believe in ufos are raving lunatics and people who claim to be alien abductees are crazy. 

Worse, they've also taken to harassing my WW2 vet homeless friend, by calling HIM an alien, demon, or cryptid and sending alien crazy ufo nutjobs at try to "catch him".

So, yeah, my son was murdered and the murder's friends and family endlessly harass me, my friends, and my family both online and offline, and I'm not happy with it at all.

There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter.

The FBI is looking for information into:

1. identifying my son's murderer, 
2. identifying the scammers who listed my land for sale, 
3. identifying the impersonators who pretend to be me both online and offline, 
4. the people aiding and abetting my son's murderer, by spreading vile slanderous defamation gossip rumors connecting me to ufos, alien abduction, writing erotica, etc. 
5. identifying the harassers who are harassing the homeless man and sending the UFO nuts to harass him... 

• If ANYONE tells you 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine is for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you I believe in aliens, demons, or UFOS, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you my homeless friend is an alien, a demon, a cryptid, or named Etiole for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

BUT...also

...something very odd occurred is occurring...

Dozens of people - more then 40 people known so far- in the Main street area of Biddeford have started doing a very weird thing:

They started to approach me, and talk to me in this utterly bizarre:

"witlle bwaby gaga goo goo, oooh wook at the wittle witty bitty swimplton" baby talk, about aliens, ufos, cryptics, and demons.

Let me repeat:

So since 2024, and now through 2025... there are MORE THEN FORTY MEN, WOMEN, and CHILDREN, living on or around Main Street, Biddeford  do nothing but talk like brain dead retards goo-goo at toddlers, every time they see me, and when they talk directly to me they ONLY talk about aliens, ufos, cryptids, and demons.

And so, when an undercover FBI agent pretended to live next door and went to each one after they did this, asked them WHY they did it...

Four of them told them, that on THE DAY THEY MOVED IN, they were approached by a blonde woman who told them to "avoid EelKat" because "she's a retarded alien abductee" and to "only talk about UFOs with her" because "she believes in UFOs " and "is too crazy to know about anything other then ufos".

I am tired of living where practically EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON is an UFO nut or an alien abduction freak, utterly too braindead retarded to have even the remotest of normal conversations. You could at least say "Hello!" or "Good morning!" but no, they don't have enough brain cells so all they are capable of is "See any UFOs today?" or "Hows the reptilian greys doing?" What sort of retard even believes in UFOs or aliens in the first place?

I know absolutely nothing about UFOs and aliens, and I find it deplorable that people around here are fully 100% incapable of talking about anything but!

Living here is my first time in five decades having contact with Americans and I can see why the Gypsy elders preach to stay away from Americans, because every other word out of every American mouth in this building is aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, followed by UFOs, UFOs, UFOs, mixed in with weird cryptid bullshit and some random demon nonsense.

What the fuck is wrong with Americans? Is aliens and UFOs and cryptids really the ONLY thing Americans know how to talk about?

I am so dammed sick of these crazy ass raving lunatics who have their heads shoved so far up space alien asses that they are utterly incapable of talking about any other thing!

What the fuck is wrong with them?

How braindead retarded do you have to be to even believe in UFOs or aliens in the first place? That's as stupid as the idiots who think my car is haunted! What the fuck? Is there no such thing as Americans who have braincells, or is this crazy lunatic obsession with aliens and UFO just something that happens in Biddeford? Are all Americans like this or is it just Biddeford Americans?

You do realize there are billions upon billions of REAL THINGS to talk about right? Like flowers or trees or weather or birds flying by, or what movie you watched last, or what frustrates you at your job, what hobbies you have...

• ...aliens are not real...

• ...UFOs are not real...

• ...cryptids, if real, are just very rare animals scientists have not classified yet...

• ...things can not become haunted, and therefore haunted cars are not real...

• ...demons, aren't even in your Bible, so why are you saying they are real, go read your Bible instead of misquoting your pastor's misquoted cliff notes, you might be surprised to learn how VASTLY different the Bible is from what you think it is...

You need to step back and take a fucking reality check, open your damn eyes, stop bull shitting your fucking deranged bullshit, and take a good long look at the REAL world for a change.

• ...my son was murdered, and don't like you making light of that...

• ...I am crippled for the rest of my life, and I don't like you mocking that...

But then now the FBI agents in charge of my son's murder are telling me that everyone in our building is ONLY talking to ME about aliens and UFOs because some blonde bitch told them too?

Oh and it gets worse. The FBI now says, they believe someone is PAYING people to come up to me and talk about UFOs and aliens, as form of harassing me, because the person paying the idiots to talk about aliens and UFOs knows I don't believe in aliens and UFOs, and yet again, the FBI believes the person paying them to do it is a relative of my son's murderer.

So, the FBI now also wants to know:

1. -who is this blond woman who is slandering me to every family living in 409 Main Street, Biddeford apartment building, and how is she connected to my son's murder?
2. -who is paying people in the area of Main Street Biddeford to talk about aliens and UFOs at me and my family?
3. -who is the Tod Murphy the Tod Murphy gang is talking about and what does he or his gang have to do with me or my son's murder?
4. -and how are these things connected to my son's murder?

As with other things in this case, the FBI believes "The Porch Bitch" to be related to the golf club woman who murdered my son and crippled me, and the FBI believes her running from porch to porch was yet another of their gaslighting attempts to make people forget about my son's murder, by misdirecting people's focus, once again, to the UFO slander about me.

Likewise, as with other things in this case, the FBI believes the blonde woman who residents claim approached them the day they moved into my apartment, to be related to the golf club woman who murdered my son and crippled me, and the FBI believes her telling them to baby talk about UFOs at me was yet another of their gaslighting attempts to make people forget about my son's murder, by misdirecting people's focus, once again, to the UFO slander about me.

In any case...

..tell me, how can my family trust ANYONE in the Main Street, Biddeford area, when they IMMEDIATELY and WITHOUT QUESTION, started doing the goo-goo baby talk about UFOs just because one woman told them to?

I do not believe in aliens or UFOS and absolutely detest UFO nuts and alien believing freaks, so I do NOT appreaciate this bull shit of every time I try to walk my dog, someone from our building approaching me to gibber gabber fucking UFO and alien bullshit at me.

• -My Uncle Bruce was one of the leaders of Heaven's Gate.

• -I survived the Heaven's Gate mass murder suicide.

• -I was still a child when I witnessed friends and family killing each other with poisoned grape Kool-Aid while claiming Comet Hale-Bopp was an alien UFO mothership to planet Kolob, where their god king alien ruled.

• -I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that is triggered by the mention of UFOs and aliens.

• -There is nothing more terrifying to me then a person who believes in UFOs and aliens.

• -There is nothing more dangerous in my mind then a person who believes in UFOs and aliens.

• -I do not feel safe near UFO nuts.

• -I do not feel safe near alien abduction freaks.

• -I do not feel safe near idiots who gibber about cryptids.

• -I do not feel safe near people who believe in demons.

• -I do not feel safe around retards who think UFO motherships are real.

• -I do not feel safe around raving lunatics who talk about aliens.

• -I do not feel safe around people who believe in UFOs

• -I do not feel safe at 406 Main Street, Bideford where EVERY SINGLE UNIT is gibbering about aliens and UFOs on a daily basis now!

I DO NOT THINK IT IS FUNNY THAT EVERY SINGLE DAMNED PERSON AROUND MAIN STREET HAS DECIDED TO DAILY GREET ME EVERY MORNING WITH UFO AND ALIEN GIBBER GABBER BULL SHIT!!!!!!

Do you know what kind of a vile, evil, degenerate, disgusting kind of person you have to be, to take something that is a known trigger of a PTSD patent, and deliberately go out of your way to SEND people to their yard SPECIFICALLY to talk to that PSTD patent ABOUT the topic that is the PRIMARY trigger of their PTSD?

The FBI had an undercover agent ask the families in our building WHY did they ONLY talk about UFOs and aliens to me and NOTHING ELSE - NOT ONE OTHER TOPIC EVER - and four of the families told him that the day they moved in a blonde woman approached them to "WARN" them about "the alien abductee" living in the building and TOLD them outright to "humour the woman with the Volvo" by "only talking about ufos and alien abductions to her".

I don't know who this blonde bitch is that they are saying told them that, but she's one evil, vile, sadistic, demented piece of shit.

think about it:

What kind of a vile, evil, degenerate, disgusting kind of person you have to be, to take something that is a known trigger of a PTSD patent, and deliberately go out of your way to SEND people to their yard SPECIFICALLY to talk to that PSTD patent ABOUT the topic that is the PRIMARY trigger of their PTSD?

Sit down and REALLY just THINK about how evil a thing this blonde bitch did.

What kind of a low life evil piece of shite does a thing like that?

• The FBI Murder Investigation 144&146-Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine

And on top of that, half the time I go out the door there is a fucking smashed up blood soaked head of a baby doll on the porch, or on my car, at BOTH 146 Portland, Ave Old Orchard Beach AND 409 Main Street, Biddeford - a thing that has been going on near every single week since May 17, 2022, and is STILL happening now September 27, 2025!

My 8 month old infant son's head was smashed in by a fucking golf club, and I do not appreciate you fucking jackasses constantly reminding me of that by sticking blood covered smashed up baby doll heads in my yard!

I am so sick of these people going to crazy, ridiculous, bizarre extremes to try to do everything in their power to drive people to forget my son was murdered.

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.

And I'm sick of real estate agents who are too incompetent to research land ownership before they show up to stick a for sale sign in my yard.

The fact of the matter is, my son was murdered in 2013, and the friends and family of the murderer think it is funny to keep ILLEGALLY listing my land for sale, because apparently their child murdering bitch friend didn't hurt me enough by crippling me with a golf club, ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and beating his brains out on the ground with a golf club.

Also, her friends and family like to impersonate me by doxing me on ufo and alien abduction forums, while pretending to be me, and trying to make it look like I believe in ufos or aliens, even though I think people who believe in ufos are raving lunatics and people who claim to be alien abductees are crazy. 

Worse, they've also taken to harassing my WW2 vet homeless friend, by calling HIM an alien, demon, or cryptid and sending alien crazy ufo nutjobs at try to "catch him".

So, yeah, my son was murdered and the murder's friends and family endlessly harass me, my friends, and my family both online and offline, and I'm not happy with it at all.

There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter.

The FBI is looking for information into:

1. identifying my son's murderer, 
2. identifying the scammers who listed my land for sale, 
3. identifying the impersonators who pretend to be me both online and offline, 
4. the people aiding and abetting my son's murderer, by spreading vile slanderous defamation gossip rumors connecting me to ufos, alien abduction, writing erotica, etc. 
5. identifying the harassers who are harassing the homeless man and sending the UFO nuts to harass him... 

• If ANYONE tells you 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine is for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you I believe in aliens, demons, or UFOS, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you my homeless friend is an alien, a demon, a cryptid, or named Etiole for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• The FBI is also seeking information on identifying who is "pranking locals" in the Main Street area of Biddeford by telling them to come to me and talk about UFOs, aliens, and cryptids, and thereby making said locals look like gibbering UFO nut idiots. 

• Said locals have stated they were told I was "a crazy woman who believed she was abducted by aliens and we should baby talk about aliens to her because she doesn't have enough brains to know anything but aliens" --  and ALL of the people questions by authorities so far are saying they were approached by a blond woman who told them the ufo/alien slander.

I'm going to repeat it because I'm tired of people showing up and making offers:

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.

Additionally:

• The FBI is also seeking information on identifying who is leaving the blood soaked baby doll heads on my porch at the Biddeford apartment

• The FBI is also seeking information on identifying who is leaving the blood soaked baby doll heads on wooden stakes in my driveway on my farm in Old Orchard Beach.

Topic: Self Publishing:

Topic: General Writing Advice aka This is what I do if you want to do it too:

Topic: Character Creation & Writing Believable Characters:

Topic: Worldbuilding & Creating a World For Your Story To Take Place In:

Topic: Writing Prompts:

Not sure what the series is about? 

Check out 

The Quaraun Series Prologue

and

Faeries vs Elves (In The Quaraun Series) A Pink Necromancer World Lore Post

and

Worldbuilding MoonQuakes and Disabled Characters for Fantasy Writers

and

How well do I know Quaraun? - Let's find out!

Index of the Quaraun novels, novellas, & short story collections on Amazon

NOTE: If you are looking for The Twighlight Manor series, this is it.

Main character since 1978, Miss Citten The Eel-Kat was retired from main character use in 1987, replaced with Etiole the eel merman, as the new main character, who was retired from main character use in 1996, replaced with his father Sir Roderic as the main character.

In 2014 Roderic was retired from main character use, and his grandfather The Pink Necromancer was pushed forward as the new main character of the series.

In 2016 I rebranded the series as "The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane, aka The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer, formerly known as The Twighlight Manor series." 

The series started September 23, 1978, and is still being written and published in 2025, and now spans 138 novels, 423 novellas, and over 3,000 short stories and novelettes.

Miss Citten The Eel-Kat and her pet flying Space Eels

Captain Goldeneagle aka Etiole de Blue de Azure Swanzen aka The Silver Salamander aka The Silver Eel MerMan

Sir Roderic Swanzen, Lord of The Twighlight Manor

Quaraun Swanzen aka The Pink Necromancer, builder of The Twighlight Manor

Quaraun Swanzen aka The Pink Necromancer, builder of The Twighlight Manor, with his husband BoomFuzzy the Unicorn

All the characters you knew in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, including former main characters, EelKat, Etiole, and Roderic, still appear in the new stories, they are just no longer the main characters. It's still the same series about a deranged Lovecraftian Space alien Elf and his huge family and their sentient monster house, same as it always was. Only the name of the series has changed.

Index of the Quaraun novels, novellas, & short story collections on Amazon

Not sure what the series is about? 

Check out 

The Quaraun Series Prologue

and

Faeries vs Elves (In The Quaraun Series) A Pink Necromancer World Lore Post

to find out more about the plot and lore of the series.

Or try reading some of the free to read online stories first before committing to buying the books:

• Absinthe Slushies: An Ode to Frozen Green Fairy Wine

• Abyssal

• The Accidental Love Potion

• Alone

• Ancient Coin Hoard Unearthed

• The Art of Destroying a Human Village for Fun and Profit

• Back At The Tavern and Still No Shrimp

• The Bandits and the Pink Necromancer

• The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death

• The Beginning of the End

• Beneath a crimson sky, the silk weaver wove pink silk.

• Bone Dice

• The Book Burning Maggots, a You Can't Spell Hatred Without Red Hats

• BoomFuzzy's Chowder Dilemma

• BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House from Hell

• Captured By The Lich Lord

• The Cast Iron Frying Pan

• The Cellar's Forgotten Treasure

• Chocolate in the Neon Shadows

• Comet Fall Snow Day Blitz

• Corsets, Elves, and Undead Faeries

• A Dark and Stormy Night

• Dark Damp Basement

• A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest

• A Day At Witch Pond (Part 2)

• The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness

• Desolate Nostalgia on a Frozen Shoreline

• The Disbelief of Humans

• The Egg That Was Not an Egg

• An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit

• An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer

• Enable

• The Enchanted Map

• A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond

• The First Flicker of Dawn

• Five Ways To Save Money in Las Vegas

• Fizzy and Frigid

• Fleeced for Fizz

• GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka

• A Glass of Fresh Milk

• Gloom Blob of Doom: The Dreadful Dripping of the Doom Blob of Gloom

• The Herd Approaches

• Herons in the Dunes

• HellBorne The Evil - Lord of Black Tower

• The Hostess Twinkie Aisle at Biddeford Wal-Mart

• How to Hijack a Human Supply Train Without Getting Shot

• The Howl on Silent Moor

• How To Kill a Lich

• I Am Not GhoulSpawn

• I loved my children, but I loved BoomFuzzy more

• I never wanted to be a wizard

• If your ass ain’t freezing or your brains ain’t scrambled, you’re ain’t really trying

• In Black Tower

• In the Year 2525 In Pepperell Square, Saco, Maine

• Inner Fortitude

• Introducing GhoulSpawn

• Iron Hooves and Burning Roads, Krampus on Wheels
• The Jar of Pickled Toes

• Jibber Jabber Ramblings by the Fire

• Kiss Me Fuckin' Arse - Just Another Day in the Ice-Laced Ruins of The GodForsaken City

• Lens and Light Maintenance

• The Lich's True Form Revealed

• The Lighthouse’s Glass-Eyed Horror

• The Long Road

• Macaroni and Cheese: A Creamy Pasta Dish Drenched in Melted Cheese, Often Topped with Breadcrumbs- It's Never That Easy

• The Map of The Town

• A Market Day Disaster

• Meeting Mallac

• Mint, Madness, and Motor Parts

• The Moon Elves of Ivujivik

• The Moon Goddess Laughs From The Rooftops

• The Moon That Hungers

• Morning Sickness at The Shattered Stein (TW: MPreg Yaoi)

• Necromancy-A Day in the Life of a Bumbling Necromancer-Again

• Nightmare Nook

• No Place for Birth

• Obsessive Love-Dangerous Love

• Open Grave

• Paddlewheel Maintenance

• The Phooka's Dragon School

• Pickling Perfection

• Pink Marabou Trimmed Rainbow Leg Warmers, a Purple Feathered Black Leather Codpiece, and an Emerald Green Overly Fluffy Scarf

• Pink Sheep, Cheesy Burritos, and The Grim Reality of Zombies

• Pocket Lich Unleashed: Quaraun Murders Finderu

• Psychotic Dead Things

• Quaraun's Candle Business

• Quaraun Meets The Gremlin

• Quaraun and The Wandering Turtle City

• Readers vs Readers, What Really Makes a Reader, a Reader?

• The Return of ZooLock

• The River Boat Man-Woman

• The Sacred Pink Secret (TW: Mpreg Yaoi)

• Safety and Emergency System Activated. Please Being Calm

• Santa's Floating Dead Body

• Santa's Letter To Satan

• The Screaming Contest

• A Serial Killer at Large

• Sheep

• Sheep Again

• Six Days Earlier

• Spacious Space

• Spinning Dreams in Silk

• Springtime by the River

• The Strange Village or I Love The Smell Of Decomposing Bodies In The Morning

• Sticky Rice, Bare Fingers, and Slippery Chopsticks

• The Swamp of Death

• The Sweet and Sour of Lemons

• That Afternoon When Quaraun Got Stuck In a Crab Trap

• There is no Mournful Lamb Inn

• 3 Perspectives on an Apple

• Tinkling Lullaby

• Toobe's Well-Prompted Apocalypse (A ChatBot Plans Global Domination)

• The Trade Caravan

• Tumbling Down Stairs With Slutty Elves and Angry Liches
• Two Habits to Help You Lose Weight

• The Valley of the Katopas

• The Valley of the Katopas (Part 2)

• The Valuable Mystery of the Talking Saloon Door and How We Nearly Got Shot Over Stale Tacos

• A Very Important Clump of Grass

• Visiting The Scene of Murder #1 With An UnGelded Stallion

• Wagers and Wiles in the Godforsaken City

• Waiter, There's A Head In My Soup

• We'll Rebuild

• What I Wish I Knew Before Not Becoming an Astrophysicist

• Where Are You Hiding That Horse?

• Why You Should Never Insult the JellyElf in a Street Market

• Wild Rose Hip Tea and a Frosty Morning

• The Witch Massimara Of Mount Yenka

• WORMS!

• You've Only Known Our World Through The Eyes of a Madman

• A Zombie Plague in a Run-Down Tavern

Hmmm... soooo... I was making the above list to ALL the links to EVERY Quaraun story published on my website here, and adding it into the front home pageof my site, here as you can see, and then I realized... wait... there are over two thousand Pink Necromancer stories up free to read on my website, I can't put two thousand links on the home page! Whoops! LOL!

So, now I'm putting list to ALL the links to EVERY Quaraun story published on my website here on this page instead and just link that page to here instead. But also I'll just leave some of the links here, as you can see above.

Index of the Quaraun short stories on GumRoad

On Medium:

On Vocal:

On Notd:

On OnlyFans:

On CafePress:

On Zazzle:

Quaraun Swanzen
aka
The Pink Necromancer

Quaraun the Insane (The Pink Necromancer)

Role: Main protagonist.

The story is always from his third-person limited, past tense point of view. Readers only know what Quaraun sees, hears, or thinks.

The series is villain point-of-view fiction. Quaraun is the point of view villain.

Core Identity

• Race: Moon Elf, biologically female but lives as a male (like Lythande).

• Presentation: Flamboyant, frail, autistic, stoic. Dresses in extravagant resplendent pink silk robes, gemstone-covered.

• Disability: Crippled. Hands crushed in childhood—clawed, fused, nearly immobile. Uses mechanical gold-plated gloves. 

• Limited mobility: uses cane, walker, or wheelchair. Often falls. Hates needing help.

• Power: Necromancer, feared and worshipped. Holds the Rainbow Wand, a mage-tech laser weapon with 16 deadly settings. Known for theatrical, brutal magic use.

• Status: Billionaire artisan tailor, Court Mage of the UnSeelie Court. 

• Worshipped by Thullids. 

• Often pregnant.

• Collects heads. Has rooms full of shelves of the heads of his victims.

Personality:

• Elegant, high strung, overly dramatic, dangerously obsessive, particularly about silk and BoomFuzzy.

• Psychotic villain-vibes, with emotionally venomous monologues.

• Detests being called insane, fragile, or weak—responds with violence and vitriol.

• Hates everything and everyone, an very vocal about it.

• Speaks slowly, with no contractions, and often delivers furious, poetic monologues.

• Never uses contractions, unless he's agitated and forgets to refuse to use them. If he starts using contractions, run, that's the sign he's about to kill someone.

Quaraun is a Supervillain, not a Hero.

• He’s not “complex” in the typical literary sense of a morally gray anti-hero.

• He murders without remorse, often for petty slights or inconvenience.

• He collects heads like trophies. That's not heroic or misunderstood—that's pure villain behavior.

• He’s mentally unstable, obsessed with control, and proud of his capacity for violence.

• His motivations are selfish, obsessive, and reactive, not noble.

What he is NOT:

• He is not a tragic misunderstood hero.

• He is not seeking redemption.

• He is not doing bad things for a greater good.

The F2M transgender Persian Moon Elf main character: The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane, wearing his pink robes of Moon Goddess worship.

Quaraun aka The Pink Necromancer:

The F2M transgender Persian Moon Elf main character: The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane, wearing his pink robes of Moon Goddess worship.

F2M for those unaware = Quaraun was biologically born female, but transitioned to live as a male; this is why there are stories where Quaraun is sometimes pregnant, in spite of being male and using he/him male pronouns. Quaraun is a Necromancer by the actual dictionary definition of the word, meaning he is a psychic medium who sees and hears ghosts, and uses tarot, spirit boards, and seances to communicate with the dead.

By profession he is a silk weaver/tailor/silk merchant. Quaraun is an Elder God JellyFish who takes the form of an Elf to blend in with society. His 12 foot long hair is made out of venomous, stinging jellyfish tentacles. Quaraun is BoomFuzzy's apprentice and regarded as the world's most powerful still living wizard. Quaraun's exact age is unknown, but he is somewhere around 750 years old. In his SunTa form he is twelve thousand years old. The Scared Pink JellyFish that lives in him, is stated to being over two million years old.

Quaraun is a transman who wears boob bindings, but also has had a forced against his will double mastectomy as a form of punishment, in his youth which heavily contributed to his becoming transgender transitioning to become a man.

Quaraun was the youngest child of a deranged Seelie Court Elf king who had all daughters and wanted a son.

Quaraun was born intersex, having both male and female genitals, and is able to both father children in others and give birth to children himself. Quaraun was also born with severe mental disorders, generally presumed to have low-functioning autism.

As a teenager, Quaraun was identifying as a female and was one of the favourite princesses of the Elf's royal court.

When Quaraun attracted the romantic attention of the UnSeelie Court Faerie King, her father, infuriated, cut off her breasts and mutilated her vagina, in a brutal attempt to force his intersex child to become his son. When Quaraun tried to fight back to defend himself, his father crushed his hands in the grinding wheel of a millstone, which is why Quaraun now has metal prosthetic hands.

Quaraun left The Seelie Court, joined forced with the UnSeelie Court, and continued wearing the royal pink gowns of a Seelie Elven princess, but took to binding his mutilated breasts, using male pronouns and identify as a male, and went on to marry the UnSeelie Court Faerie King becoming his court mage.

All of that information can be found in the novels.

Many of the stories in this collection are elderly Quaraun, now many centuries later, reflecting on this event from his youth.

Quaraun's fluctuating gender, confuses readers who jump into the series without knowing that he is a LITERAL JellyFish.

Quaraun is not biologically a Moon Elf. He is a Thullid, a type of psionic jellyfish-like Elder Brain parasite, who lives inside the hollowed-out skull of a long-dead Moon Elf, animating the Elf’s corpse from within. The long, pink, venomous tentacle “hair” is his real body—his jellyfish appendages disguised as hair. The Elf body is decorative and functional, used for social interaction and manipulating tools.

Quaraun lacks a brain because Thullids are brainless telepathic organisms. His frequent declaration of “I have no brain” is not poetic—he literally has no nervous system. He is immortal due to the regenerative cycle of his species, which allows him to revert between life stages indefinitely, like the real-world Turritopsis dohrnii, the immortal jellyfish.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turritopsis_dohrnii

His gender changes are biologically driven: Jellyfish naturally change sex throughout their lifespan, and Quaraun fluidly alternates between presenting male and female depending on his stage.

Among Thullids, Quaraun is revered as The Sacred Pink Jellyfish, a mythic Elder Brain believed to be the first of their kind. Some Thullids consider him their god—a divine mother figure, while others fear him as a heretical abomination for bonding emotionally with Faeries and not fully consuming his host.

His obsession with silk, beauty, and delicate physical things is a sensory fixation rooted in his species' natural attraction to light, colour, and texture. His humanoid identity is an elaborate social mask over a barely concealed alien intelligence.

Quaraun is to silk what Sweeney Todd was to barbering: a genius artisan twisted by grief and madness, the best who ever lived—unmatched, elegant, and utterly insane. A stoic, frail Moon Elf who walks with a jewelled cane and speaks in venom-laced poetry, Quaraun weaves spells into every thread of his fabrics. His garments are coveted by kings, cursed by gods, and soaked in the blood of those who dared insult his artistry. He is not just a master tailor—he is a surgeon of silk and murder.

He dresses in shimmering pinks, but his soul is black. His broken, clawed hands move only with the aid of enchanted gold-plated gloves, yet his work is flawless, obsessive, and beautiful enough to drive men mad. Quaraun kills without warning—quietly, suddenly, and with theatrical flourish. A single word, a gesture, the wrong look, and his Rainbow Wand flashes—a throat is slit, a body turned to ash, a city devoured by pink rose-thorned eldritch vines. Then he returns to his loom, unbothered.

He is the crown jewel of psychotic elegance. Worshipped by monsters, feared by all, he built an empire of silk, medicine, and black market magic—then burned it down and made it again, better, crueler, silkier. His love for BoomFuzzy is obsessive and violent. His patience is limited. And when the world displeases him, he carves its seams out one scream at a time.

The series is classified as MPreg due to the fact that in many stories, Quaraun is often pregnant, usually by BoomFuzzy, sometimes by GhoulSpawn

Quaraun has 75 children, most notable of which are King Vileder, Melaca, and Dr. Vangoneese. 

His most notable grandson is Sir Roderic, owner of The Twighlight Manor.

While is most notable great grand sons are Etiole and The Dazzling Razzbury.

Stories about Quaraun are usually set in the era between him being 750 to 800 years old, as this was the time period GhoulSpawn lived with him. GhoulSpawn only lived with Quaraun for a space of around thirty years. This is the era when Quaraun was still identifying as male, but was beginning to dress far more female, due to his growing obsession with Moon Goddess worship. This era was the early stages of his religious tyranny which would lead to his later decent into insanity and eventually crowning himself as The Grand High Emperor of The Triple Planets and renaming himself SunTa – God of the Sun.

Quaraun as SunTa, King of the Sun, The Grand High Emperor of The Triple Planets, with his son King Vielder The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun and Lich King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (horse form) Quaraun as SunTa, King of the Sun, The Grand High Emperor of The Triple Planets, with his great grandson Etiole the eel merman

The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun and Lich King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn (humanoid form) Quaraun with BoomFuzzy in the Maze of Insanity Quaraun aka The Pink Necromancer, King of the Moon Elves, seen here with BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, Lich King of The Realm of Fae, King of The Unseelie Court Quaraun and BoomFuzzy

Quaraun's magic is rooted in real world Vodu.

Both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy are "Voodoo Priests"

Quaraun is the High Priest of both Erzulie Fréda and Erzulie Dantò, that he is their literal, chosen vessel on Earth, and that he lives not just in devotion but in spiritual embodiment—changes the stakes of every spell, every silk thread, every grave he tends.

This is not aesthetic. This is ritual duty.

This is queer rage, sacred blood, sequins as wards, and daggers as offerings.

This is Black Vodun, trans survival, Moon-crowned vengeance, and ancestral pride stitched in pink and red silk.

And BoomFuzzy—blind, Black, devoted to the Guédé, walking with Baron Samdi and Papa Legba—adds the liminal fire. He’s not background; he’s the doorway to the afterlife, the veil-ripper, the sex-and-death pathwalker who tempers Quaraun’s fire with irreverent grit.

Quaraun’s Magic:

• Comes from Benin-line Voodoo, not Hollywood Voodoo.
• Is built on serpent rites, silk thread, ancestral pacts, and veve-carved looms.
• Wears pink and glitter because he serves Erzulie Fréda as protector of gay/trans/queer lives.
• Carries daggers (even metaphorically) because he serves Erzulie Dantò, protector of abused children and victims of rape and exploitation.
• Is a fanatical spiritual warrior, not a casual mage.
• Every spell he sells is an act of devotion, not whimsy.

Quaraun is an Erzulie priest, who calls Erzulie the Moon Goddess and that is WHY Quaraun wears pink and glitter.

Quaraun's grandson AlKeme is a Hungon of Damballa, which is why he wears white and has serpent tattoos.

Quaraun spends an inordinate amount of time in graveyards making goopher dust; he hot foots the area around his vardo before setting it up, he draws veve on the vardo and weaves veve into all his cloth, he sets up altars to the loa everywhere he goes.

Quaraun worships Eruzuili, both Freda (pink and glitter) and Danta (red and blood). The twin brides of Damballah.

Both Erzuli's are fierce.

Freda is the deceptively "frilly" in her pinks and sequins, but she is the fierce protector of gay men and transgender people, while her twin sister Danta is the dagger wielding protector of children and sexual abuse survivors.

Quaraun sees himself as their literal representative on earth, it is why he (Quaraun is biologically female) lives as a transman, lives as a gay man, and is a vicious vigilanti protector of children and rape victims. Quaraun takes his role as High Priest of the Moon Goddess VERY seriously. He is devote to the point of being fanatical.

The glitter is not just campy flair. The pink is not aesthetic.
It’s ceremonial, sacred, snake-bound, moon-pulled beauty magic.

Benin–Dahomey Vodun: (how it is different from New Orleans Voodoo)

Benin–Dahomey lineage of Vodun is distinct from the more often cited Yoruba-based, Creole-fused, or Haitian-influenced versions that get overrepresented (and frequently misrepresented) in Western media.

My family descends from Benin, Dahomey, and uses the "snake cult" tradition of voodoo passed down through the Benin line. We are a mix of Scottish, Persian, Mongolian, Kowari PNG, and Benin, Dahomey, in our bloodline and family religion traditions. So we default to the Scottish and Benin type Voodoo which is a bit different from the French/Creole/Yuroba type. So I am pulling from family tradition for this.

Key Differences I'm Working From

• Snake cult (Vodoun Dangbé / Damballa) origin: Central to my great-grandfather's tradition is reverence for serpents as divine, especially python spirits. Snake symbolism isn’t just present—it’s the core axis of cosmology, healing, protection, and balance.

• Ancestral lineage and ritual objects (altars, fetishes, dolls, fabric, knots) matter more than bookwork or formalized creole liturgy.

• Often includes cloth bundles, thread, shells, bones, horns, and ritual objects passed through families, not store-bought.

• Less emphasis on Catholic overlay (like saints) and more on the direct invocation of Loa, often through sacred objects made in secretive, generational practices—woven, buried, fed, or bathed ritually.

• Feminine power is central: I mentioned Erzulie—yes, but your Erzulie is likely not the New Orleans romance-fairy caricature, but the Benin-style fierce Moon Goddess of fertility, justice, psychic power, vengeance, and beauty.

• Scottish syncretism with my family's path means I'm also carrying in Faerie folk knowledge, glamour magic, weaving as power, word-binding, oath-stones, and wind curses. All very consistent with Quaraun’s background.

• Serpent-and-thread magic
• Loom-woven veve glyphs
• Word-bound silk strips and moon-charmed pins
• Bloodline spell bundles passed down and fed with offerings
• Fae logic meets ancestral pacts
• Real, functional folk items that do things—not just sit there and “feel haunted”

Every spell he makes should reflect ritual purpose, symbolic logic, and multi-cultural synthesis from the life he actually lives:
A Vodou-rooted, neurodivergent silk mage, working graveyard spells at midnight while whispering to his moths, calling serpents and spirits with equal reverence.

And he doesn't think twice about slitting the throats of rapists and child abuses in the name of Erzulie Dantò

BoomFuzzy’s Magic:

• Rooted in Baron Samdi, Guédé rites, graveyard wit, and Papa Legba’s crossroads.
• Uses crude language, rum, sugar, spice, dirt, bones, and uncensored truth.
• Serves the spirits of the dead, but also helps the living pass safely.
• Makes offerings with gingerbread and absinthe, not just for fun—but as ritual keys to ancestral communion.

This is why you see my characters doing "Granny swamp Magic" as opposed to doing Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/Dungeons and Dragons magic.

Voodoo the religion, Hoodoo the ritual practice, and Faerie folklore are combined to create the Magic System used by these three quasi-Voodoo mages.

Voodoo (Voudou / Vodou / New Orleans Voodoo):

• A religion, not a spell system.

• Combines West African spiritual systems (especially from the Fon, Ewe, Yoruba) with Catholicism, and indigenous practices.

• Centered around honouring spirits (called Loa, or Lwa) through altars, offerings, possession, veves, drumming, ritual dance, ancestral veneration.

• In New Orleans, it's been heavily shaped by Creole, French, and Spanish Catholic influence, and Spiritism.

• Voodoo may include spellcraft, but that part is often misrepresented—it's more about ritual devotion, possession, and service to spirits.

Hoodoo (Rootwork / Conjure / Trick Doctoring):

• Not a religion. It’s a separate system of African-American folk magic.

• Based on spiritual power through natural items and ritual practice: roots, bones, herbs, personal effects, crossroads, ancestor work.

• Practitioners don’t “worship” spirits—they manipulate spiritual forces using material items.

• Hoodoo spellwork is where you get things like: 

• Spells are literal: “write the name on paper, anoint with oil, fold away from you, place in jar with herbs, seal, bury at a crossroads.” That is a spell.

Quaraun uses protective items for queer folks and abuse survivors explicitly, since that's core to his Erzulie devotion. He has spells for:

• Trans protection
• Binding abusers
• Queer love blessing
• Warding against spiritual violence
• Justice jars for courts and police corruption

Queer Black Vodun + Silk Craftsmanship + Graveyard Rootwork = Quaraun’s Signature Magic.

• Erzulie Fréda spells: pink, glitter, perfume, sweet—but deadly precise.

• Erzulie Dantò spells: red, iron, thread, and blood-bound justice.

• And weave in BoomFuzzy's Guédé traditions for spirit work, trickster death rites, and grave-clearing.

However... the reason I do not call (in the books) what Quaraun does "Voodoo" is because it is NOT straight up just Voodoo a, and it draws on a lot of more Fantasy types of things as well. And as I am myself a Voodoo priestess rank of Medsan Fey, I know the harm that can be and often if done to our religion when you use the word voodoo in fictional media, especially in Fantasy genres featuring wizards or witches and spell casting.

It is for this reason you never see the Loa mentioned by name, and why you see Quaraun only ever say "The Moon Goddess" (Freda) or "The Moon Goddess's bloody soaked twin sister" (Dantor) or "The Snake God" (Damballa), etc.

You see, while the core base of Quaraun's magic system is in fact real world Voodoo and Hoodoo, it is changed quite a bit as well, has a lot of "Harry Potter" type magic with wands and potions, and a lot of Dungeons and Dragons type magic with big elemental spells like summoning fireballs or casting tornados full of sharks, and monster magic (dragons, mimics, psions, etc) and magic items (bags of holding, cursed amulets, etc) that are not connected to voodoo at all, and could give readers the wrong impression of the Vodoun religion.

You see, contrary to popular urban myths, there is nothing spooky, evil, horror, death spell, demonic, or scary about the Vodou religion, which is a peaceful religion based on reverance of ancestors. There is no "voodoo dolls" or sticking pins in things or casting curses, in actual real Voodoo.

Hoodoo Dolls come from ancient Scotland and are part of Scottish Hoodoo.

Note: Voodoo is an African word, whereas Hoodoo is a Medieval Celtic word originating from the Picts of what is now ScotlanHoodoo is a magic based pagan religion similar to Wicca, which is also a Celtic religion.

Hoodoo was brought to the Appalachians region of America's South by the Scottish Gypsies. It got mixed into the Voodoo religion, when Scottish Hoodooers were smuggling escaped slaves out of the South and taking them to the North.

In the 1700s to 1800s White Slavers would say things like "That hoodoo voodoo mumbo jumbo" to be dismissive of minorities (Blacks and Gypsies) and try to make it sound like Black people and Gypsies were talking jibberish nonsense. End result was that by the late 1800s a lot of white folk were using the Scottish word Hoodoo interchangeably with the African word Voodoo.

Hoodoo DOES in fact use dolls to stick pins in and put curses on people. Curses and hexes and doll baby spells are a central part of Scottish Gypsy culture.

But Voodoo has no culture or tradition of curses, hexes, or doll baby spells.

It was not until the 1920s and Bela Lugosi's movie "The white Zombie" that the word "Voodoo Doll" was even invented. And it was created very simply to make the Black slaves in the movie look evil, for practicing the religion of Voodoo. The White Zombie movie took the practice of Hoodoo and incorrectly slapped the name of Voodoo on it, and this the invention of the Voodoo Doll - a thing that exists ONLY in Hollywood movies.

Unfortunately, that movie got popular, and other movies band wagoned it's success, and soon voodoo dolls were a staple of every Horror movie of the 1920s and 1930s, and by the end of the 1930s Hollywood had convinced everyone that the Voodoo religion was full of curses, evil rituals, and sticking pins in dolls, when in fact that stuff all originated from us Scottish Gypsies and NOT from Black people or their Voodoo religion.

In any case, it was to avoid causing further damage to the Voodoo religion, thar I opted to not use any real names of any religions or deities in my books.

Quaraun and BoomFuzzy

• For those unaware, the Quaraun series started out as fanfiction of several things before going on to be it's own thing (most fanfiction things were removed by 1987, and all fanfiction elements removed completely by 2012; from 1996 to 2012 the series was published daily on FanFiction.net, from 2004 to 2010 on MySpace {back when MySpace was a blogging platform}, and from 2005 to 2013 Squidoo). 

• Over the decades it has featured fanfiction from many things, including: It was a combination fanfiction of 

1. The Rocky Horror Picture Show, 
2. Faeries, 
3. Rainbow Brite, 
4. The Herself the Elf, 
5. Rose-Petal Place, 
6. Dragonriders of Pern,
7. She-Ra: Princess of Power, 
8. The Love Bug, 
9. The Cat From Outer Space, 
10. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, 
11. Jem and The Holograms, 
12. ElfQuest, 
13. Splash, 
14. The Dark Crystal, 
15. Labyrinth, 
16. The Smurfs, 
17. The Fall of the House of Usher, 
18. Dr. Phibes Rises Again!, 
19. House on Haunted Hill, 
20. Beneath The Planet Of The Apes, 
21. AD&D/Spelljammer, 
22. Mad Max, 
23. Inuyasha, 
24. and Don't Starve.

• Primary among them was the character Lythande by Marion Zimmer Bradley, whom Quaraun’s character is based upon.

• At it's core, the entire series was most heavily fanfiction of Lythande and The Mists of Avalon, both by Marion Zimmer Bradley.

• Before there was Quaraun, there was Lythande by Marion Zimmer Bradly… the FIRST intersex, transgender homeless Gypsy mage, part of The Mists of Avalon series, which spans dozens of books throughout the 1970s & 1980s, all featuring an intersex, female to male mage main character .

• Lythande started out as a series of short stories in magazines in the 1970s, and was later complied into a collection in the 1980s. After Bradley’s death, several unpublished Lythande stories were found and her granddaughter published “The Complete Lythande” which includes everything she wrote, including the previously unpublished stories, which remain unedited and unfinished.

• After publishing the first Lythande story, Bradley issued a letter to her fans, that Lythande was without copyright and “open world” and invited fans to write more stories for the series. I was one of the fans who answered this.

• When the Bradley lawsuits and court cases rocked the literary world a few years later, I unpublished everything featuring Lythande and the world, and changed all characters and world to OC ones, republishing them, in what is now The Quaraun series.

• For those unfamiliar with Lythande it was the first mass market produced book to feature a transgender main character.

• Lythande at the time of it’s publication was one of the most controversial, most hated, most boycotted, and most banned book of the era — due to it being the first TRADITIONALY PUBLISHED by one of the “Big Four” publishing houses, to feature a TRANSGENDER main character.

• Lythande is a lesbian female, who lives in a part Medival, part ancient Persia, part modern space traveling CyberTech world dominated by woman hating men -who are mass murdering females at alarming levels in an attempt to rid the world of the evil that is women. Lesbian women are the primary target in this nightmarish dystopian world where the LGBTQAI+ community is being massacred in a dictator decreed genocide. In order to help her fellow lesbians gain their rights and freedoms, Lythande goes undercover as a man to infiltrate The Blue Star Warriors, a group of male mages who control the world’s magic. She becomes the most powerful mage of all time across all dimensions, but when the leader of The Blue Star Warriors discovers she is a woman, he curses her. The curse forces her to live the rest of her life as a man, including, she is no longer able to have sex as a woman, literally turning into a male with a penis whenever she tries to have sex with her female lover; additional she is cursed with immortally and lives for thousands of years, falling in love with hundreds of women, and never able to be with any of them as a woman… 

• unfortunately… like Firefly, the series remains unfinished, because the author died before she finished writing it, so, we never find out how the series would have ended.

• My Quaraun books, take that exact same premise and run with it on a full blow ‘What if?”

• — I do highly recommend you read Lythande, if you want to gain a full ‘lore background” on the lore behind my Quaraun series :

The Complete Lythande (Amazon Affiliate Link)
It’s a long wait until the Last Battle of Law and Chaos, when the forces of Good and Evil will clash for the final…amzn.to

• I add the Lythande note to this story today, because this is an MPreg story which leans in heavy on the Lythande lore.

King Gwallmaiic Muddsburge
aka
BoomFuzzy The Unicorn

BoomFuzzy (King Gwallmaiic)

Role: Quaraun’s husband, lover, protector, and king of the UnSeelie Court. Cannibalistic Lich & pastry chef.

Core Identity:

• Species: Phooka (Faerie), undead Lich.

• Race: Black man, 5’1” pygmy from Papua New Guinea. Blind—sees only inches in front of him. Uses steampunk VR goggles to see.

• Form: Shifts between humanoid form and a lilac Shetland pony unicorn with a silver horn. Can take the form of (living) anything or any one.

• Status: King of the UnSeelie Court. 

• A former TV celebrity chef with Goblin sous chefs, currently works as a food truck chef.

• Owner of a culinary empire; owns dozens of restaurants, food trucks, taverns, pubs, biker bars, noodle shops, pizza parlors, candy shops, and tea houses across the planet.

Personality:

• Crude, foul-mouthed, hypersexual, cocky, chaotic. 

• Uses everything as an excuse to flirt with Quaraun.

• Unapologetically lewd. Extremely possessive and jealous of Quaraun.

• Reckless. Cruel to others, loving and teasing toward Quaraun.

• Thinks nothing of holding someone's face on a frying pan and grilling them to death.

• Often mocks Quaraun’s seriousness with sex jokes and threats of horny violence.

• Uses Scottish street slang, colloquialisms, metonymy, and filthy vulgarity.

• Swears constantly. Uses the word 'fuck' like it was a replacement for commas, quotation marks, and periods, but he's from Biddeford, so that's expected.

• Speaks fast, sharp, unpredictable. Lecherous and violent in every sentence.

• King of Pepper Valley in the year 3999 - Pepper Valley was Pepperell Mills Valley, Biddeford, Maine in the 20th century. 

• His river sprawling red bright kitchen filled smoke stack towered, fortress is the 40th century rebuilt version of North Damn Mill and Pepperell Mill Factories.

King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn: The Lich Chef – Undead Cannibal God, Frost-Faerie of the Eternal Banquet

BoomFuzzy is a Sadistic, Hypersexual, Undead Murder Machine, built by The Pink Necromancer to be his lover and protector. 

• Cannibalistic Lich pastry chef? He literally cooks and eats people. Often while they are still alive.

• He is obsessed with Quaraun to the point of possessive psychotic violence.

• He’s gleeful in torture. Holds people’s faces on hot pans. Mocks their screams.

• Sexual sadist, violent dominator, and the actual monster under your bed.

• He was The Pink Necromancer's first attempt at resurrecting UnDead, but because he was old and set in his ways before death, he's now difficult to control after death.

What he is NOT:

• Not a lovable rogue.

• Not a misunderstood sex-positive icon.

• Not a wise old mentor.

He is a Faerie war criminal who cooks souls for desserts.

King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn:

The Lich Chef – Undead Cannibal God, Frost-Faerie of the Eternal Banquet

Quaraun's husband, BoomFuzzy aka King Gwallmaiic, a Scottish Phooka, who is King of The UnSeelie Court. BoomFuzzy is a "classic fantasy type" Necromancer who uses sorcery to raise the dead. 

Being a Faerie he is also an illusionist and master of trickster magic. By profession, he is a Master Chef, owning the global monopoly on restaurants, taverns, pubs, and food trucks. Until his death, BoomFuzzy was regarded as the world's most powerful wizard. He is now a Lich.

BoomFuzzy is a candy mage and he is literally an actual unicorn.

I have discovered over the years, that readers often think of BoomFuzzy as though he were a man who takes a unicorn form, and that is incorrect.

BoomFuzzy the Unicorn is an actual Unicorn who takes a Humanoid form so that he can be with an Elf lover (Quaraun). And this was done SPECIFICALLY in 2013, when Amazon mass banned "Monster Porn" from their website, changing their ToS to state that all romantic relationships between character, MUST be "HUMAN FORM". Over twenty thousand authors were banned from Amazon, including some of the biggest names in traditionally published Romance,  and more then two million books were banned by Amazon, included over five thousand books published by Harlequin - Harlequin, never recovered either - good search for Harlequin books on Amazon, you'll see what I mean..

And contrary to popular myth, Amazon was NOT targeting only Erotica, they went after EVERY GENRE - Romance, Fantasy, Horror, you name it, even books without sex, including children's books that simply feature anthropomorphic characters, including several Disney books featuring Mickey and Donald. Amazon, in February 2013, simply declared, any romantic couple had to BOTH be humanoid. . And while my series did not have sex, it did have an Elf who was married to a Unicorn. And so since 2014 onward, all books written that end up on Amazon, show BoomFuzzy in humanoid form. You have to read the books published elsewhere for the horse form stories now.   

And so in 2013, all Quaraun books were removed from Amazon KDP, many never to return, because 2013 was the same year my son was murdered, a few months later, and so I simply never got around to editing the books and republishing them.

The books that did get republished, no longer showed Quaraun and his UNICORN LOVER and instead showed Quaraun and his Unicorn who was NOW A SHAPE SHIFTER (something BoomFuzzy was NOT prior to 2014) who took a Human-like form in many scenes.

His TRUE FORM is the lilac Shetland Pony.

The little black man he transforms into is the illusion glimmer spell form.

Remember, BoomFuzzy's magic is bizarro unicorn magic that defies laws of physics. BoomFuzzy the Unicorn is the only known Unicorn in existence, an absolutely unique and astoundingly rare creature.

BoomFuzzy, the novel, a 750 page novel that sold over a million copies in 2014, is literally about BoomFuzzy's candy shop where he makes candy, incliding unicorn shaped peppermints. BoomFuzzy's BoomFudgy Chocolate Cover Apricots are a pivotal and legendary candy in the series, most notably because it was the last thing he made before he injected them with poison and then ate one to kill himself, an event that directly resulted in Quaraun's becoming a necromancer specifically so he could resurrect BoomFuzzy as a Lich, but because Quaraun was drunk, he resurrected BoomFuzzy as a purple unicorn. BoomFuzzy now back from the Swamp of Death, returned to candy making and pastry cheffing.

Also in the above mentioned novel is a scene, which shows the young, innocent, and still a virgin Moon Elf, find a tiny Unicorn, the size of a goat, caught in a Human's trap. A horse normally would die from a broken leg, due to their delicate bone structure. The young virgin Elf freed the Unicorn from the steel jaws trap, and hid the dying horned pony in the marsh, then tended to it's injuries, caring for the unicorn for nearly 3 years before the tiny pony finally recovered the use of it's leg. The unicorn ran away, but never forgot the Elf who saved it.

Years later, when Quaraun (in a direct retelling of Rapunzel) was tortured and locked in the tower by his deranged father, the unicorn miraculously returned and rescued the dying Elf, roles reversing, as the Unicorn now took on initially a Moon Elf form to tend to the Elf's injuries.

The Elf was terrified of seeing a Moon Elf and the scene follows the Unicorn changing form many times becoming gnomes and drawfs and many other creatures, before finally transforming into the little black pygmy man, whom Quaraun was not frightened of. The Unicorn kept this form from that point after, and 2 of them later married.

It is long established in the series that Quaraun - a TINY WHITE FEMALE - is absolutely terrified of LARGE WHITE MALES after a childhood of beatings and sexual abuse. And this was why a PYGMY BLACK man did not scare Quaraun, and the reason for BoomFuzzy taking this form.

It is for this reason Quaraun says "Unicorn" or "my Unicorn" and never "BoomFuzzy", because BoomFuzzy literally IS an actual Unicorn.

Unicorn magic is a blend of My Little Pony Cuteness, Alice in Wonderland Absurdity, and McGees Alice's deranged insanity. And it includes BoomFuzzy's Fuzzy Wuzzy Fluffy Bunnies a box of peep like marshmallow bunnies coating with glistening pink sugar, that when thrown "Worms 3D Holy Hand Grenade Style" at someone they turn into "Monty Python style Vampire Bunnies" that act as BoomFuzzy's personal army.

But many readers have taken issue with BoomFuzzy being a black man - to the point that it is why I no longer have email, because one reader too to DAILY writing 10k+ word long emails, railing white power black-hating craziness, for the space of multiple years and I simply got rid of having email because I got sick of white readers having anti-black meltdowns at me every day. These readers quite simply forgot that BoomFuzzy the UNICORN, is LITERALLY A HORSE and is NOT a man at all.

BoomFuzzy is not a man. He was once—a vile, demonic Faerie war-HORSE, a blood-soaked pastry baking UNICORN king whose empire fed nations their own dead—but that was a lifetime ago. On the hundredth anniversary of his death, he clawed his way back from the grave as a Lich, and what returned was something colder, crueler, and utterly unkillable.

Now he is immortal. Cut off his head, he reattaches it. Burn his body, he reforms in frost. Kill him, and he rises again, smiling through teeth of ice.

He is a Lich of frost and famine, whose kiss draws the warmth from the living, freezing their blood solid in their veins. He commands necromantic ice magic, conjuring blizzards from his breath, snowstorms from his fury. His kitchens are meat lockers, his ovens tombs.

BoomFuzzy is a culinary god of death who wields his chef’s knives with the elegance of a ballet dancer and the precision of an autopsy. His sous chefs are goblins. His ingredients? Anyone who displeases him. He is obsession incarnate—possessive, jealous, feral with love for Quaraun.

And he is not a joke. His crude flirtation, his lewd innuendos—they are weapons of psychological war, not humour. His rage simmers beneath every pun. His hunger is endless. He has murdered whole cities for daring to look at Quaraun the wrong way. He is the UnSeelie King, an undead tyrant, and when he says “I love you,” he means “I own you,” and he will freeze the world to prove it.

BoomFuzzy is also half-Human. His mother was a Mongolian/Chinese Human, which is why he wears distinctively Asian outfits, along with a great kilt worn as a cape. Known as BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, he often takes the form of a purple Unicorn. BoomFuzzy's exact age is unknown, though he was well over two thousand years old at the time of his death, and Quaraun resurrected him as a Lich around 500+ years ago, making him close to 3,000 years old.

In his BlackBird form he is fifteen thousand years old.

Greymorsh Liore
aka
GhoulSpawn

GhoulSpawn (Glinta; Ghouly; Gremlin)

Role: Minor background character. Quaraun’s shy admirer. The stabilizing third wheel of the trio.

Core Identity:

• Species: Sheep-Demon-Satyr.

• Origin: From literal Hell. Isekai’d to 1970s Earth, then Isekai’d to 40th century Earth. Hippie background. Terrified of this new, violent world.

• Appearance: Gold fleece, ram horns, digitigrade legs. Speaks like a nervous wreck.

• Power: Fire summoner, growing into powerful magic. Cannot lie. Will surpass both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy in time.

Personality:

• Stoic, emotionally flat, often overwhelmed and overstimulated.

• Cannot understand humor; jokes confuse or distress him.

• Gentle, submissive, devoted to Quaraun, terrified of BoomFuzzy.

• Analytical, obsessive, detail-oriented. Loves Quaraun but feels inferior.

• Speaks in long, breathless, run-on sentences with Polysyndeton, Congeries, Metanoia, and Eutrepismus. Frequently self-corrects mid-sentence. Says too much.

• Thinks aloud, overly explains everything, repeats phrases in panic.

GhoulSpawn is a Sheep Demon Stranded in a Nightmare.

• Emotionally flat, incapable of understanding humor, hyper-analytical, and completely overwhelmed.

• Not evil yet—but growing under the influence of these monsters.

• He follows them not because he wants to, but because he’s clinging to Quaraun like a trauma anchor.

• He’s not safe. 

• He’s unstable. 

• Emotionally numb Isekai'd Sheep-Demon slowly turning evil

• And his powers are escalating.

What he is NOT:

• Not comic relief.

• Not a sidekick with a conscience.

• Not there to balance out the evil.

He is the next monster in the making.

• He was The Pink Necromancer's NEXT attempt at resurrecting UnDead, only he's not yet dead; he's still alive, but because he is young and eager to please his elders, he's now being sculpted and molded by both Quaraun and BoomFuzzy, into becoming Cheeka, the most deadly monster The Pink Necromancer ever built.

Glinta aka GhoulSpawn the Crazed:

Their on again-off again mad scientist golden fleeced Sheep Demon lover: GhoulSpawn with his 1974 AMC Gremlin time machine.

GhoulSpawn was born on a boiling, fire planet, but as a small child was summoned to 1959 Earth by Humans with a ouija board. He lived among Humans, getting a PhDs in Quantum Physic and AstroPhysics, invented time travel, built a time machine, and then in 1978, fell through a portal, and is now trapped in 40th century Maine.

Being a Demon from literal Hell, he has natural elemental abilities with fire and can summon hell creatures.

He is Quaraun's apprentice, and feared by Humans to be on a fast track to becoming more powerful than either BoomFuzzy or Quaraun.

The Rift-Walker – Hell’s Chronomancer, Demon of Portals, Summoner of Infernal Livestock

GhoulSpawn is a walking black hole in reality—a Sweeney Todd of the space-time continuum, whose trauma-choked mind opens gates to other realms the way others draw breath. He is the greatest chronomancer in existence, a Sheep-Demon Satyr displaced by centuries, abandoned in a frozen hellscape, and now loyal only to Quaraun. His hooves leave scorched snow behind him. His golden omega eyes never blink. And when he speaks, it is with robotic honesty and unnerving exactness—truth only, always, emotionless, sterile, and terrifying.

He cannot lie. He cannot joke. He does not understand laughter. But he understands orders—and when Quaraun gives them, entire villages are erased in molten firestorms, devoured by bleating obsidian sheep, or dragged into alternate timelines that never end.

GhoulSpawn is no child. He is not innocent. He is the Omega Gate, a biological weapon, soft-spoken and broken, but capable of unraveling oceans when triggered.

He speaks in spirals, breathless and endless, overwhelmed by too much memory and not enough grounding. He opens rifts that cannot be closed. He is terrified of BoomFuzzy but obeys him without question.

GhoulSpawn does not laugh when the world burns. He just watches the flames, counts the corpses, and waits for Quaraun to tell him where to strike next.

Due to his messing around with time travel, there are 5 different versions of him which appear throughout the series, each from different dimensions and alternate time lines, each one uses a different name (Glinta, GhoulSpawn, Gremlin, Checka, ZooLock - while GhoulSpawn is the one seen most often, Gremlin is in fact the correct original one).

GhoulSpawn is very young, not yet 50 years old.

The Gremlin version of him is around 500 years old, while the Checka version of him is thirteen thousand years old, and the ZooLock version of him is stated to be "old as time".

 | The Series Prologue | 

| Writing & Creating the Characters |

I'm an author. This is an author home page. It's about me, my life, my books, my hobbies, my home town, and anything else that applies to me and my life. 

Since starting my writing career in 1978, I have written 130+ novels, 2,000+ short stories, 6,000+ non-fiction articles (ALL are found on this site), a few dozen stage plays, 12,000+ blog posts, and a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck (I only worked for Disney one year (in 2005) and only wrote a few stories for their Danish comic books).

NOTE: I ONLY write the Quaraun series (aka The Twighlight Manor series aka The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane). In recent years there has been an issue with impersonators trying to pass books off as written by me, notably several non-fiction and Erotica books. I write neither nonfiction nor Erotica.

ALL of my books and their cover arts are listed on my website here. Beware of any books you find claiming to be me. If the books are NOT listed here on my website, they are NOT my books.

In fiction works, I specialize in Weird/Bizarro Tales set in 40th century CyberPunk-Quasi Medieval, Cozy Dark Fantasy and Science Fiction worlds featuring an intersex Elf and his Faerie husband main characters.  I DO NOT WRITE ANY OTHER SERIES - THIS SERIES IS THE ONLY ONE I WRITE.

Non-fiction (found ONLY here on my site) is daily updates of events in my life, and how-tos on how I write my novels.

I DO NOT write Erotica.

I DO NOT write books with HUMAN characters.

The Erotica books and books with Human characters, that you are finding, are written by scammers trying to impersonate me.

There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter. If you find any such books, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

The FBI believes the people behind the impersonation accounts showing up, are relatives of the woman who murdered my son.

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.

And I'm sick of real estate agents who are too incompetent to research land ownership before they show up to stick a for sale sign in my yard.

The fact of the matter is, my son was murdered in 2013, and the friends and family of the murderer think it is funny to keep ILLEGALLY listing my land for sale, because apparently their child murdering bitch friend didn't hurt me enough by crippling me with a golf club, ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and beating his brains out on the ground with a golf club.

Also, her friends and family like to gaslight me by doxing me on ufo and alien abduction forums, while pretending to be me, and trying to make it look like I believe in ufos or aliens, even though I think people who believe in ufos are raving lunatics and people who claim to be alien abductees are crazy. 

Worse, they've also taken to harassing my WW2 vet homeless friend, by calling HIM an alien, demon, or cryptid and sending alien crazy ufo nutjobs at try to "catch him".

So, yeah, my son was murdered and the murder's friends and family endlessly harass me, my friends, and my family both online and offline, and I'm not happy with it at all.

There is an ongoing FBI investigation into this matter.

The FBI is looking for information into:

1. identifying my son's murderer, 
2. identifying the scammers who listed my land for sale, 
3. identifying the impersonators who pretend to be me both online and offline, 
4. the harassers who are harassing the homeless man and sending the UFO nuts to harass him... 

• If ANYONE tells you 146 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine is for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you I believe in aliens, demons, or UFOS, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

• If ANYONE tells you my homeless friend is an alien, a demon, a cryptid, or named Etiole for sale:, please report them to FBI Agent Andy Drewer @207–774–9322

I'm going to repeat it because I'm tired of people showing up and making offers:

146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, is NOT FOR SALE.

The Space Dock 13 WebRing